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IT'S A BOY,
& IT'S A GIRL,

IT'S TULA!

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waterproof,

Why is а duck comfortable ina
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For the same reason a Timber-
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PLAYBILL

ASIDE FROM NEW YEARS DAY, we think September is the best time
rt afresh. Summer's over, the beach is less appealing,
nd politics heat up as the weather cools down. АЙ of
want to know what's going on in the world
issue of Playboy will help jump-start your b
guarantee it. Writer Pamela Marin took to the roads of Indiana
and Arizona to piece together a picture of Vice-President рап
Quayle's past—and maybe his future—digging into the history
of his family's powerful chain of newspapers in Who Made Dan-
ny Run? Ihe gets kicked out of Washington, Quayle can always
write about it. Ted Kennedy may have the same option if he
doesn't clean up his act, writes Robert Scheer in Reporters Note-
book. Right-thinking liberals with the power to lead,
Scheer, have the responsibility of keeping an eye on their pr
vate lives, too. We've considered the right and the left, so who's
in the middle? Virginia governor Douglas Wilder, in our Playboy
Interview, conducted by Peter Ross Range. A very viable Demo-
cratic candidate for higher office and arguably the most
prominent black poli in the country, Wilder tries, uns:
cessfully, to side-step Range's persistent questions.
Moving from politics to sex is traditional, but our story with
ctures of Tula Cossey, written by Senior Editor Gretchen Edgren,
s anvthing but journalism as usual. Why? Because this beauty
used to be Barry Cossey, a man. Edgren looks into the puzzle of
transsexualism and lets Tula tell her own story, The Transforma-
tion of Tila. И beauty is in the eye of the beholder, you'll need
to read David Huddle's piece Here's Looking at You (illustrated by
Olivia De Berordinis), а tribute to the art of ogling women. Hud-
"s part of a book he's writing exploring gender.
nd sex, what other topics excite our readers?
n? How about football, personal computers and action
films? Can we help? Vou bet! Gary Cole'e annual Pro Football
Forecast (illustrated by Chuck Walker) promises more uncanny
predictions than ever (no, the Giants won't repeat). When you
down at your personal computer to calculate the odds
N.EL. teams, do you ever wonder what makes the
lamn thing run? Read Contributing Editor David RensirYs
profile of Bill Gates, the man behind Microsoft, described as the
most powerful nerd in America in Bill Gates, Soft Icon. Rensin
co-authored The Bob Book with Bill Zehme, which got a lot of me-
dia attention, which worried us. Fearing he had too much [ree
time, we also sent him to check in with actor Denny Glover f
this month's 20 Questions. Glover is smart and funny and wait-
ing for à romantic lead part.

When was the last time you said to yourself, “Га like to real
ly travel, go somewhere completely different, meet unusual
people in out-of-the-way places"? Before you pack, read our
chilling fiction selection, The Safari, written by Malcolm Bosse.
and illustrated by Braldt Bralds. It's about a New York couple
determined to see the Ecuadorian rain forest like natives. For
more Bosse, get his recent novel of survival, Mister Touch, from
licknor & Field:

Don't bother to do a double take. You saw our wonderful
cover? Well, feast your eyes on the Barbi twins’ pictorial, Sering
Double, photographed by Ket Yee. Landm lendars has al
dy sold moi 5

n—we

MARIN

EDGREN

HUDDLE

BRALDS

e than $500,000 worth of Barbi-twin calend:
Here, wrapped into the rest of this t you also get
ten entire pages devoted to the twins, Shane and Sia. What else
is available at this bargain rate? The Fall and Winter Fashion
Forecast, photographed by Jay Zukerkorn, а pictorial ode to Not
Your Average Working Girls and our best girl, Playmate Samantha
Dorman. Playboy is where all the action eptember—and
every other month. Touchdown!

ZURERKORN RENSIN

Playboy (ISSN 0032-1478), September 1991, volume 38, number 9, Published monthly by Playboy in id regional editions, Playboy,
680 North Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, Hlinois 60611. Second-class postage paid at Chicago, Ilinois, and at additional mailing offices.
Subscriptions: in the U.S., $29.97 for 12 issues. Postmaster: Send address change to Playboy, PO. Box 2007, Harlan, lowa 31537-4007. 5

Welcome to the Arctic Circle at Finnish Lapland. If you ever
make it here, you will find yourself far from the comforts of
home. But not to worry. While you may have to lese many
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PLAYBOY

vol. 38, no. 9—september 1991 CONTENTS FOR THE MEN'S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE
PLAYBILL Бан T : 5

DEAR PLAYBOY : " 7 15

PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS .... 21

МЕМ ue ` 2 3 T * ASA BABER 41

WOMEN. — s CYNTHIA НЕМЕ 42

THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR 201 45 Borbi Dolls

THE PLAYBOY FORUM E 49

REPORTER'S NOTEBOOK: CLEAN UP YOUR АСТ, TED—opinion . . ROBERT SCHEER 59

PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: L. DOUGLAS WILDER—condid conversotion 61

WHO MADE DANNY RUN?—ariicle. . . 3 ... PAMELA MARIN 82

NOT YOUR AVERAGE WORKING GIRLS—pictorial * 88

THE SAFARI— fiction m Lo... MALCOLM BOSSE — 82 SR solar
PLAYBOY COLLECTION—modern living “ * + " 96

THE TRANSFORMATION OF TULA—personolity GRETCHEN EDGREN 102

HERE'S LOOKING AT YOU—article $ DAVID HUDDLE 106

SAY IT AGAIN, SAM—ployboy's playmate of the month А T 110

PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES—humor . 122 Sweet Samanta
FALL AND WINTER FASHION FORECAST—fashion ... .. HOLLIS WAYNE 124

PLAYBOY'S PRO FOOTBALL FORECAST—spor!s З GARY COLE 130

BILL GATES, SOFT ICON—ployboy profile зав 4 DAVIDRENSIN 134

SEEING DOUBLE—pictorial 8 a * 136

20 QUESTIONS: DANNY GLOVER " 148

PLAYBOY ON THE SCENE 181 Fall Fashion
COVER STORY

In 1989, Hollywood met the high-voltoge Borbi twins with the living-doll look
on—of oll ploces—a billboord. Here's your chonce to discover L.A.'s god-
dess-sized beouties—Shone (lefi) ond Sio (right). Our cover wos produced Бу
Associate Photo Editor Jim Lorson and shot by photographer KAL. Thonks to
Johnny Wolker of L.A.'s Visoges Style for the twins’ hair and to Gary Berkowitz
of Cloutier lor their moke-up. Hair's to seeing double, quips our Rabbit

АМ INSTINCT

61921 R.J. REYNOLDS TOBACCO CO.

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SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Cigarette
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PLAYBOY

ГТ JUST 5

2DAY AN

Talk live with o different Playmate every

Monday-Friday night, 9 p.m. to Midnight
(EDT), 6-9 p.m.(PDT)

CALL US

PLAYBOY

HUGH M. HEFNER
editor-in-chief

ARTHUR KRETCHMER editorial director
JONATHAN BLACK managing edilor
TOM STAEBLER a divertor
GARY COLE photography director

EDITORIAL

ARTICLES: ону REZEK editor; EVER MOORE
senior editor; FICTION: ALICE. K TURNER editor;
MODERN LIVING: DA ID STEVENS senior editor
ED WALKER associate editor; WEYN гомкте assistant
editor; FORUM: MATTHEW em ps assistant edito
WEST COAST: SIEMIEN RANDALL editor; STAF
GRETCHEN EDGREN senior edilor; JAMES k. PETERSEN
senior staff writer; BRUCK KLUGER, BARBARA NELLIS
associate editors; CHRISTOFIEK NAPOLITANO азе
ant editor; yon 10058 bufie coordinator; FASH-
ION: nouas WAYNE director; VIVIAN COLON
assistant editor; CARTOONS: MICHELLE URRY edi-
lor; COPY: ARLENE BOURAS е оғ: LAURIE ROGERS
assistant editor; MARY £N senior researcher: 144
BRAUNE. CAROLYN BROWNE, JACKIE CAREY REMA
sur researchers; CONTRIBUTING EDITORS:
ASA BABER, DENIS BOVLES, KEVIN COOK, LAURENCE
GONZALES, LAWRENCE GROBEL, KEN GROSS @adomo-
five), СҮХТША HEMEL, WILLIAM |. HELMER. WALTER
LOWE. ЈК. D. китти MANO, JOE MORGENSTERN, REC
POTTERTON DAVID RENSIN, RICHARD HODES, DAVID
SHEFE DAVID. STANDISH, MORGAN STRONG. BRUCH
WILLIAMSON (movies)

ART

конс Pomi managing director; BRUCE HANSEN
CHEDSUSKL LEN WILLIS. senior directors; ERIC
SUKOMIMKE associate director; KRISTIN KORIENEN.
JOSEP PACER assistant directors; KELLY (Y BEN
junior director; ANN senn. senior heyline and
paste-up artist; ти. BENWAY, PAUL CHAN art
assistants

PHOTOGRAPHY
MARYS GkKABOWSKI west corsi editors JEFF cont
managing editor: UNDA KENNEN ИМ LARSON
MICHAEL ANN SULLIVAN associate editors; ТАГУ
BEAUDET assistant edilor/entertainment; STEVE CON.
way associate photographer: DAVID CHAN, RICHARD
килү: ARSY TREYTAG, RICHARD IZUL DAVID месту
BRON NEUMAN, POMPEO POSAR. STEPHEN МУВА
contributing photographers; sueter weiss shlist

MICHAEL PERLIS publisher
SPANFELLER associate publisher

JAM

PRODUCTION
Jons sro. director; MAA маманы manager:
RITA JOHNSON ахммаш manager: JONY JURGEVO.
RICHARD QUARIAROLL CARRIE LARUE HOCKNEY
assistants

CIRCULATION
BARBARA GUIMAN subscription circulation director;
ROBERT O'DONNELL general manager; «амам
RRONTIZ communications director

ADVERTISING
¡rene p. voran national sales director: sutis mt
RECTORS WILLIAM м. LION. J, отворен, KONERI
MCGLEAN wel CUM, STEVE MESNER midwest, PAUL
NEDITI N

READER SERVICE
LANDA ком. MIKE OSTROWSKI correspondents

ADMINISTRATIVE
enses KENI editorial services manager; MARCA
TERKONES rights ë permissions administrator

PLAYBOY El ISES, INC.
сини menta chairman, chief executive officer

чуң. Geh a vai " A р?
Pat yourcan gl! er Ga ا‎

Miller Lite. Its it and that's that.
Its the beer that beer has become.
Thanks for your help. We couldn't

have done “it” without you.

MILLER BREWING COMPANY

16 1991 Miler Brewing Co., Milwaukee, WI

Miller Lite, Its it and that's that.

Reebok
the Tarr House last п.

ө Reebok Design Group. To locate tho store nearest you please dial 1-800-843-4444,

COLORS. А NEW WORLD FOR MEN.

UNITED COLORS
OF BENETTON.
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BENETTON
FOR INFORMATION BOUTIQUES DAYTON'S HUDSON'S MARSHALL FIELD'S

DEAR PLAYBOY

ADDRESS DEAR PLAYBOY
PLAYBOY MAGAZINE
680 NDRTH LAKE SHORE DRIVE
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 60611

MAC NEIL/LEHRER
E would like to react to a comment
made by Robin MacNeil in the Мас
Neil/Lehrer Playboy Interview (June)
MacNeil says, “Not long ago, the presi-
dent of NBC News g
speech and commented that те
lot of very intense and very expensive
competition among the networks that
the viewers aren't the least bit aware
of... There's an awful lot of money be-
ing spent on useless forms of contrived
competition." Wrong! For all of their
faults, I believe most Americans would
agree that the American media are
among the best, if not ¿he best, in the
world. Why? In large part because ol the
very intense and very expensive compe-
tition” that MacNeil bemoans. Why is
CNN quickly becoming the favorite tele-
vision news network in other countries?
What favors CNN over а news source
from another country? The fact that the
media in other countries do not face
competition as intense as the American
media do. This is the case in any industry
throughout the world: The greater the
competition in an industry, the better
those firms can compete globally
John J. Dunn
Scouscale, Arizor

ve a very sensible

"s a

NEIL BUSH

Steven Wilmsen’s article about Neil
Bush (The Corruption ој Neil Bush, Playboy,
June) does not contam any information
about the other members of the board of
directors of Silverado. How many were
there? How did they vote? Would the
questionable loans have heen approved
without Neil Bush's vote? In other words,
did it matter how he voted?

Wilmsen fails to point out that the
board of directors of most financial in-
stitutions rubber-stamps the decisions
made by the operating management of
the company. This is especially true of
companies with a strong, centralized and
authoritative management team.

Nor does Wilmsen mention that the

financial crisis involves 500 billion dol-
lars and that Silverado's portion of that
mess is less than one percent of the total.

The impression with which I was left
alter reading this article was that Neil
Bush was involved in the

management of
Silverado and personally made thc deci
sions to approve the questionable loans
Could it be that this article is à cheap
political shot at George Bush?
Jerold Werner
Fullerton, California
Your implication that Neil Bush u
nocent and ignorant member of the Silverado
board doesn't hold up under scrutiny: His bla-
lant conflicts of interest, meluding approving
huge loans to men who were rescuing Ins fail-
ing businesses with large transfusions ој cash,
put him well beyond the range ој blameless
rubber-stamp directors.

as an in-

OPERATION PLAYMATE

Kudos to Playboy for Operation Play-
mate (June).

My nephew served as a tank sergeant
in the Persian Gulf. I won't give his name
or unit. because I don’t want him to get
into trouble ex post facto. But while he
was over there, 1 sent him many let-
ters and packages. In one of the early
packages, | enclosed the December and
January issues of Playboy. 1 did that inno-
cently; they were lying around the house
and it occurred to me that the guys
would really appreciate them. | even de-
clared them on the Customs form that is
stuck to the outside of the package. Only
later did I learn that that was a politically
and culturally insensitive thing to do.

Somehow, the magazines did get
ihrough—1 presume because the pack-
age arrived during the Christmas
crunch. I continued to send the maga-
zines but no longer declared them

Га like to share some of my nephew's

comments to me:

e Lener dated December 18, 1990
“On behalf of the entire platoon, thank
yon. It was so nice to see beautiful, naked
women again. God bless you. Mrs. Ohio,

E
PORTED

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Allow 4weeksafter initial payment {ог shipment. u5?IPYl

PLAYBOY

Miss |
le booster."

e Lener dated January 12,
“Thank you so much for the Playboy. God
bless you. My whole crew is incredibly
grateful for the Playboys. You can't
ше. We even read the articles over here.”

е Letter dated February 10, 1991:
"Say, that March issue of Playboy ought to
be out real soon, eh?”
troops in the
served lov

1991:

Persian Gulf de-

¡y mates.
Leslie B. Crellin

BLUE TRUTH
Having just completed Cherokee Paul

McDonald's riveting memoir, Blue Truth
(Playboy, June), 1 must compliment you
for publishing phic account of
street life for a police patrolman—a
courageous decision in view of the fac
t it is now in vogue to bash the bl

McDonald has my respect and admira
tion [or baring his heart and soul i
that allows his readers to experience the
shredding of his psyche.

His ending soliloquy is pure poetry
and power in motion. It should be re-
quired r all citizens who forget
that the police forces of America deserve
Teast as much recognition and ap-
plause as the Desert Storm soldiers

way

Every city cop in the country can iden-
fy with Cherokee Paul McDonald's Blue
Truth. W is clearly written by someone
who has been there. As a retired cop, I
recall the dirt and the grime of the
streets of our cities and the unbelievable
violence that takes place there daily
Cops know the feeling. They share the
ustrations. And, after а time, it all be-
comes Вишото! It is also unfortunate
that those who are so eager to criticize
the actions of police cannot experience
what it’s like. B is unlike any other job
there is, an impossible job. But cops do
every day—and all over again the next
Jerry Fusani
Depew, New York

Ollicer McDonald's shrink
in his assessment: McDor
writer than a policem;

Don Valenziano
Bellmore, New York

accurate
Id is a beue

nding, in-yo
face assault on the values we all hold—
and on the bottom line. What would I do
icone stole ту child and raped my

nd | caught him? You couldn't
Then the hyperinflated interpre
ionis of law in the Nincties would hang

nd call it justice. 1 applaud the con-
y drives a policeman to truly

"serve and protect" the public. If he
subsequently viewed as brutal, then it is
probably by the A.C.L.U. and its flaccid
licensed liars who have gone corporate
in touch with what

buttal shows me
pose and commit

man of strength, pur-
nent,

John Snyder
Merced, Califor

LISA MATTHEWS,

I just received my June Playboy and wa
overwhelmingly pleased (o see Lisa
Matthews as the Playmate of the Yea
This decade has gotten off to a tremen-
dous start!

Gary Haynes

den Grove, California

bet it's the former), but your spread on
е of the Year Lisa Matthews is a
solutely incredible. [literally cannot ta
my eyes off her. Congratulations to Con-
buting Photographer Stephen Way
the lucky stifi—and to Lisa's parents, for
creating the most gorgeous won
the planet today. Thank you, Playboy

thank you, Li for re-creating the
American Dream.
Ray George
Santa Cruz, Californi:
1 hope you realize from the mountain-
mail you're surely receiving about
a Matthews’ Playmate of the Year lay-

out that that’s the way to do them.
Playboy os are always fantastic, bu
many of us would like to see more picto-
vials with th ple, unfer
beauty: nearly unnoticeable make-up.
few props, simple clothing th

Ри:

sort ol si

nature's loveliest form.

More of this, please

distract from
Greg Webber
Columbia, Missouri

BOBS

I loved Contributing Editor David.
Rensin and Bill Zehme’s Noles from the
Bob Book (Playboy, June). One needs to be
reminded that to get to a brief, easygoi
ne like Bob means that you I
I off a lot of extra letters from the old
h certificate. But that's the beauty of
ing a Bob. No delusions of grandeur
nsion. We start simply and for
d in our own fields of dreams.

€ to

How could David Rensin and Bill
Zehme attempt ап explanation ol Bob-
ism without any reference to |. R. "Bol
Dobbs? That is incomprehensible

George Davis
Coos Bay, Oregon

Notes from the Bob Book is very amusing
but lacks one ial Bob. Т speak of
none other than the Saint of Sales, the
Slackmaster, the High Epopt of the
Church of the SubGenius—J. R. “Bob”
Dobbs. Dobbs turned а ве h-quick
scheme into ап abnormality-worshipin ,
fun-havin’, anticonspiracy "religion."

1 mention the oversight only because
I paid-up SubGenii were “passin’ stones
the size of Venus” when they noticed

sse

their Bob wasn't mentioned.
Saint George Wilson
Boston, Massachusetts
DAD'S DAY

longtime subscriber to Playboy а
father of ghters, Í w
hed by Asa Babers Men column,
ys Dad." in the June is
suc. It brought back many fond memo-
ıd also some laughs. Baber must
lived through. some of those mo-
ments in his own personal way.
1 intend to send copies of the col
to my daughters. Thanks for

two da

most

propriate message for all of us fathers
Robert C. Wolf
Fort Myers, Florida
FUNNY GIRLS
Eureka! Just when I was going to write

to ask you whatever became of Septem-
ber 1978 Playmate Rosanne Katon, vou
feature her in the Funny Girls pictor
(Playboy, June). How can I thank you?
Obviously, this talented young beauty is
doing just fine and looking better than
ever! Thanks a zillion!

rry Spring
nsville. Indian:

That Old Black Magic.

PANE ILOT

ЧОШ атш.
FOOTWEAR

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PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS `

FAX OF LIFE

Ever wonder what your girlfriend talks
about at slumber parties? Correct an-
men—other men. But here's the re-
Now your
conspiring with her sisters on the fax cir-

swer

ally bad news: lover may be

cuit. Take a look at this chain-letter fax,

which w

zapped to us by a spy from the
other side:

“Just send a copy of this letter to five of
your friends who are equally tired and
discontent
band or boyfriend and send him to the
woman whose name appears at the top of

Then bundle up your hus-

the list. When your name comes to the
top of the list, you will receive 16,377
men. A fr d of mine had already re-
ceived 184 men by the time they buried
It took three undertakers
36 hours to get the smile off her face and
two days to get her legs together so that
they could close the coffin.”

her yesterday

ROAD WARRIORS

Writers Мак Mowrey and Tim Redmond.
thought they had scammed the ultimate joy
ride. Orion Pictures had hired them lo drive
the Robocruiser (the one used by RoboCop in
his hit flicks) from L.A. to the set of “RoboCop
3” in Atlanta. In their newly acquired
studmobile, the boys hit the open road. Their
report

“Day one: The Robocruiser sits in an
L.A. parking lot. 175 filthy, The studio li-
aison says it's ‘road dirt’ [rom scenes in
RC 2, but the lot attendant says it was de-
livered- spotless—the caked-on brown
small fell from the sky. We do a slow pass
down the Strip. but the Jaguar in front
of us gets more attention than Robo's
proud chariot. Forget L.A. We head east
Our prime directive: babes.

“Day two: Ита Las Vegas! After a
crummy (and expensive!) car wash, the
tube-topped cashier lends us a rag to
wipe the crud turned mud off the wind-
shield. We tell her she's lookin’ at the
RoboCop car (wink, wink). ‘Where are the
red lights on the roof?’ she asks. We ex-
plain that lights are used only during
filming. "Huh? she says, and walks off.

“On the way out of town, the front

bumper falls off. We buy red wire and
duct tape and lash it back together.

“Day three: We stop in Santa Fe at a
bar with a Spanish name that serves
pricey Italian food on tiny plates. Our
waitress is beautiful, kinda likes us, so we
swagger outside to show off the “cruiser.
‘That's just an old Ford Taurus, she says.
"And it’s really dirty.”

“Day five: As we descend a mountain
pass, the brakes catch fire. We stop and
wait for the smoke to blow off.

“Day six: Right outside Fort Worth,
the radiator burps up three quarts of
coolant. It's four РМ. on a Friday and the
gas station we've rolled into looks mighty
busy. Finally, à mechanic comes running
over. ‘Is that there the car from . . . Robo-
Cop? Why, yes, and it has a teeny prob-
lem. “Га be proud to fix it, he says,
could tell my grandchildren about it."
ght: Atlanta at last. We try to
chat up the accountant from Orion. He
demands we give him the keys. Sure, no
problem. ‘Yes, it is; he says over his
shoulder. ‘I've been waiting for weeks.
Му golf clubs are in the trunk."

ILLUSTRATION BY PATER SATO

OFFENSIVE FOUL

Has Al Goldstein wrested control. of
The New York Times from publisher
Arthur Sulzberger? At the peak of a
much-touted campaign publicizing its re-
vamped, livelier sports section, the Times”
ink took a decidedly hue. This
morsel comes from an article about a
basketball clinic: “Some 9000 boys
dribbled and passed and shot their wads
Hard little
bodies whizzed in liquid motion toward
the baskets, before the watchful eves of
the founder and his staff.”

blue

for a piece of the action

TEEING OFF

An inspired friend has invented the
following guidelines for a new game he
calls Bedroom Golf

Rule number one: Players provide
their own equipment—the rounder the
club, the better. Course owners are al-
lowed to check shaft stiffness belore play
begins

Rule number two: The object of the
game is to take as many strokes as neces-
sary until course owner is satished the
game is complete. Failure to do so may
result in being denied permission to play
the course again.

Rule number three: It’s a sign of ama-
teurism to begin playing the hole at the
start of the game. Players should admire
well-formed bunkers, avoid the rough
and start stroking on the smooth fairway

Rule number four: Players are advised
not to mention other courses they
played to the course owner. Disgruntled
owners have been known to damage
equipment they know has been used else-
where

Rule number five: Players must ask
owner's permission to play the back nine

Rule number six: Slow play is en-
couraged, but course owners will expect
different and faster strokes at their com-
mand.

Rule number seven: Its a sign of an
outstanding golfer to play the same hole
several times in one match

Rule number eight

have

The course owner

“It's the only way
1 can decrease my
libido. Otherwise, I
would be sexually in-
tolerable."—]EREMY
IRONS TO TALKSHOW
HOST LARRY KING. ON
SMOKING CIGARETTES

SPORTING TIMES

According to a
survey by American
Sports Data, Inc., the
number of Ате!
worked
mbing

cans who
out on stai
machines increased
by 74 percent fiom
1989 to 1990. In-
creases in the same
period on cross-coun-
try-ski machines, 28,
treadmills, 24; s
tionary bicycles, 19.

тени
һе
outlet пе:

Percentage of in-
crease from 1989 to 1990 in the пит.
ber of Americans who roller-blade,
10; mountain-bike, 28; snow-board,
16; play beach volleyball, 19; golf, 10;
train with free weights, 8; exercise by
walking, 8.

.
Number of Americans who exer-
ise with free weights (the only activi-
among

HIS CHEATING HEART

Ina recent survey by The Kinsey In-
stitute for Research in Sex, Gender
and Reproduction, the percentage of
men who believe that 30 to 60 percent
of married men have cheated on thi
wives, 58.4: percentage of women who
believe this, 50.1.
.

Percentage of ти say that
more than 70 pe 1 n
have cheated, percentage of
women who say this, 24.8.

МЕНТ AXES

Price paid for а 1968 Fender Str
caster used at Woodstock by Jimi Hen-

ato-

FACT OF THE MONTH

A week alter President Bush
announced that troops would |
п from the Gulf. sales at
rederick’s of Hollywood

drix, $334,000; price
paid by actor Gary
Busey for а 1945
Gibson J-45 acoustic

once owned by Bud-
dy Holly, $242,000;
prie paid by un-
for

identified. bu
a piece of a gui
smashed by Pete
Townshend, $1300.

POPULAR PLASTICS

Number of lipo-
suction surgeries per-
formed on women in
1988 by members of
the American Society
of Plastic and Recon-
structive Surgeons,
87,160; breast en
ements, 71,720;
суса tucks, 60,510;
face 1 12,610.

st Fort Campbell, д
. Kentucky, shot up 300 percent.

Number of nose
jobs performed on
men in 1088 by members of
S.PR.S, 90720, eyclid tucks,
17.950; liposuction surgeries, 13,530;
face lifts, 5870.

LIFE IN THE CRUISE-CONTROL LANE

Number of manufacturers of luxury
са ailable to Ате ns in 1980,
16; in 1990, 99.

umber of households in 1980 with
an income of $75,000 or more (the
typical range for luxury-car buyers),
1,000,000; in 1990, 8,000,000.

TRUTH BE TOLD

According to a new book of surveys
and stats, The Day America Told the
Truth, percentage of Ате
confessed that they lie regula
their parents, 86; to friends,
siblings, 73; to spouses, 69.

In the same survey, percentas
Americans who said they lie about
their feelings, 81; their income, 43:
—BETTYSCHAAL

ans who

sex, 40.

e's outcome.

he sole jud,

Rule number
any given course is serious business. Play-
ers should choose carefully. М; Expe-
rienced players prefer 10 pay day rates at
several co

ull membership at

єз.

SCEINTAL CRUELTY

Manhattan fun couple Laurens. and
Barbara Schwartz have not been sittir
idly in the apartment they continue 10
share while their divorce is pending
Laurens is suing his wife for wearing
Royal Secret bath perfume, to which he
. “Frivolous

says he is severely allergi
and absurd," counte
“She's been wearing the perfume for
nine years. Now he says it made him
cough so much he threw his neck out."
Apparently, the judge sees some merit in
the husband's claim and has issued an or-
der of protection barring Mrs. Schwartz
from wearing perfume in the home.

Barbara's lawyer.

PULPOURRI

This summer's most lurid reading isn't
a Stephen King novel but a n
book catalog. The Amok Fourth Dispatch:
Sourcebook of the Extremes of Information in
Print bears а blurb from John Waters on
the back flap that nicely sums up the con-
tents: “A reading list from hell that
а must for any serious oddball biblio-
phile.” Inside are illustrations—For
pmups, medieval woodcuts, gruesome
forensic pics—from a variety of the 4000
titles offered. And what titles! Our faves
include Secrets of Voodoo, Foreskin Resiora-
tion (Uncircumcision), ABC ој Anarchism,
The Lesbian S/M Safety Manual, Anxious
Pleasures—The Sexual Lives of an Amazoni-
an People, Physical Interrogation Techniques,
Absolutely Mad Inventions, The Betty Page
3-D Picture Book, We Never Went lo the
Moon, Girls Who Do Мар Movies, Wiretap-
ping and Electronic Surveillance and The
Marxist Minstrels—A Communist Subversion
ој Music (“The Beatles and their demonic
druid beat. Were they the pied pipers of
Red sex/drug youth subversionz"),

Brian King and Stuart Swezey, who
publish the catalog, say Amok outsells
hooks listed within it by а ratio of ten
to one. (It's available for $8.95, from
PO. Box 861867, Terminal Annex, Los
Angeles 00086-1867.) Among the better-
known author s are men-
tioned are linguist Noam Chomsky,
explorer Sir Richard Burton, diabolist
Aleister Crowley, acid guru Timothy
Leary, poet Ezra Pound, pulp writer Jim
Thompson and |. С. (Empire of the Sun)
Ballard.

Not all controversial lito makes the
grade. According 10 Swezey, “American
Psycho has all the possible makings of an
Amok book, right? But it
because we think Bret Easton Ellis is a
bad writer. So forget it.”

l-order

whose w

offensive to us

-17 “Flying Fortress.” It was the very
ne of the Allied aerial offensive
rld War П. Now, to commemorate

ersary of World War Il, the
Air Force Museum Foundation authorizes
the authentic re-creation of a rare surviving

Shoo Shoo Baby, now on permanent display
at the U.S. Air Force Museum. -

Here is a remarkable die-cast model of
the original, precision engineered of 111
components with 2 vast array of operating
features. The propellers actually spin. The
landing gear is retractable. The bomb bay
doors open and close.

Shoo Shoo Baby also has astonishing
detail. With a removable canopy that
reveals the interior of the plane. Even
the nose art re-creates the original's.

The price, just $195. A custom-
designed display stand is included at no
additional charge. Available only from
Franklin Mint Precision Models.

‘This aircraft was designed andengineered from the actual B-I7G
“Flying Fortress” nicknamed Shov Shoo Baby. It has not been
authorized or endorsed hy any branch of the United States
Military or its manufacturer.

B-17G "FLYING FORT

On the 50th Anniversary
of World War II,

B-I7G that actually saw combat. It's called the Air Force Museum Foundation |

Presents Its First Official
Die-Cast Re-creation of
the B-17G “Flying Fortress”

THIFTY- DAY RETURN ASSURANCE ULICY

уш wish toreturn any Franklin Mint Precision Models purchase,

yeu may do so within 10 days of your гесе of that purchase for
replacement, credit or refund

Even the nose art captures the auth
of the original.

PLEASE MAIL BY SEPTEMBER 30, 1
Franklin Mint Precision Models
Franklin Center, Pennsylvania 19091
Yes! 1 want to order the authorized die-cast
reproduction of w Baby, a rare sur
viving B-17G that actu combat during
WW IL My imported model will arrive with its
own display stand at no additional cost.

I need send no money now. | will be billed
when my model is ready to
, after shipment, for the bal

be sent to me а

SIGNATURE,

MR/MRS/MISS

r
1
1
1
1
Н
'
'
'
'
'
'
1
1
1
1
1
i
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1
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1
1
1
£ ADDRESS
'

1 am

STATE/ZIP
өн ты 12545-61

Franklin Mint Precision Models: Simply Miles Ahead.

ROBERT CHRISTGAU

ZIGGY MARLEY has bee
old man since his first album

looking back at his
1985.

even recording with a genuine Ethiopi:
band in Babylon Central, а. Ка. New York
City. His latest album with the Melody

Makers, Johmekya (Virgin), is a Jamaic
affair, cut in Kingston with a band fe
ing two ex-Wailers and increased inp
from his numerous siblings. But never
before has Ziggy—or many other |
maicans, including Dad, who tried—
been such a convincing rhythmic citizen
of the world. Because Ziggy's politics sul-
ler from the idealism of hghting poverty
at a distance, his lyrics will never equal
Bob's, but the beat that powers them, a
funkovggae hybrid with Babylonian
horns, is his own.

Lyrics have never been Linton Kwesi
1 s problem—this Brixton. poet
activist-professor is as learned as pop
musicians get. His Tings an Times
(Shanachie) is а меагу, witty meditation
on political endurance, and il you take
the trouble to penetrate his patois, vou ll
be glad vou did. Over the years, L.K.]
and his bandleader, Dennis Bovell, have
learned to embody black-power hum
ism in jazzy skank, and here the violin
and the squeeze box make clear that
theres more го world beat th ше
Alrican Diaspora

NELSON GEORGE

Nat King Cole was one of the most
beloved singers of the Fifties. His velvet
tone and supple phrasing drew upon his
background as a jazz pianist while
charming a generation of listeners with a
romanticism matched only by Frank
Sinatra. His embrace of middle-of-the-
road material, along with the rise of soul
music in the Sixties, alienated him from
the cutting edge of African-American
music and has, over time, obscured his
greamess. A CD collection of his best
work on Capitol last year generated none
of the critical attention of this years
James Brown and Stax packages.

So one hopes that Natalie Cole's Unfor-
gemoble (Elektra), a 22-song tribute. to
her father, will help rekindle interest in
Nat Cole. Natalie has always been a ver
зае vocalist, so it’s no surprise that she
possesses the intelligence and the chops
10 perform this material convincingly. In
the manner of Linda Ronstadt and Har
ry Connick, Jr, Cole has gone back to
musical basics, using real strings, horns
and human rhythm sections to interpret
such standards as Mona Lisa. Paper Moon,
Nature Boy and Straighten Up and Fly
Right. Shrewdly, she doesnt attempt to
mimic her namesake, yet manages to ap-

Funk-reggae from Ziggy.

Ziggy's Jamaican affair,
Huey's antidote to angst
and Bonnie's Luck of the Draw.

proximate his smooth emotionality; а
duet of Unforgetable that. features Nat
Cole’s original vocal blended with a new
one by his daughter is both fascinating
and a little disorienting. This is a long
overdue and lovingly executed project.

‘CHARLES M. YOUNG

Huey Lewis and the News have created
some of the finest pop-rock of the past
ten years. Filled with monster hooks and
gently humorous lyrics that were just
clever enough to engage, their hits were
the precise prescription when you need-
ed a dash of fun with no bitter subtext as
an antidote to late 20th Century angst.
Remember / Want a New Drug? Well, 1
did want a new drug, After a layoff of
three years, Lewis has returned with Hard
at Play (EMI), which includes some of his
catchiest work since his breakthrough al-
bums Picture This and Sports. V like the
News best when they're playing rock and
roll informed by pop, rather than the
other way around. So I have unalloyed
love for the two hardest-rocking songs,
Build Me Up and AUT Need Is a Couple
Days Of, and the rest 1 take in the affable
spirit that Lewis offers them.

The eponymously titled Tribe After Tribe
(Megaforce/Atlantic) knocks me out.
Somehow managing to sound nothing
like Led Zeppelin while reminding me of
all ther 1 loved Led Zeppelin, this
power trio plays monster rilis lou

soft, fast and slow, all in the service of at-
mospherics that will make your stereo a
pagan ritual. I don't know any other
hard-rock bands that hook you with Zulu
chants. My only complaint
minutes of music is that “Nifimani belun-
gu Banixolile should have been
translated.

n nearly 56

na?”

DAVE MARSH

Paul McCartney hasn't made a really
good record in years. But Unplugged: The
Official Bootleg (Capitol) is ten times bet-
ter than the perfunctory live album from
his last tour. It exploits both his backlog

GUEST SHOT

Wayne Toups’s two nicknames, “the
Bayou Bruce Springsteen” and “Le
Boss," say а lot about his power as a
performer, With his band, Zydecajun,
Toups steam-cooks a mix of Cajun, zy

deco, Southern rock and barroom
REB. And his most recent LE "Fish
Out of Water,” runs aboul as raw as a
studio recording can get. Toups loves
rawness in almost any band. His cur-
rent favorite is the self-titled album by
the new quartet Blues Traveler.

“My band and 1 got Blues Travel-
er by accident and we've been play-
ing it on the tour bus nonstop. In
fact, 1 keep it in my CD player and
play it for everyone I run into.
Blues Traveler plays a kind of
Southern funk sound blended with
R&B and even a few zydeco licks.
Its a breathing, swe:
if you want your p
this is the CD you should ger. Each
Blues Traveler member is a terrific
musician, especially John Popper,
the harmonica player and lead
singer. Unbelievable wind. As for
specific cuts, check out But Anyway.
It shows you the joy that flows
through the whole album. You
know the old saying about every-
thing old's becoming new again?
ГИ bet that real music played by
real players is coming back again.
And that's damn а v
Blues Traveler.

ews for

of original (mainly Beatles) material and
his extensive, loving knowledge of rock
ad R&B hits. McCartney sings well and
chats affably. What more could you ask?

Well, some depth. Crowded House
leader Neil Finn, one of McCariney's
most adept pupils, aims to dive deep
throughout Woodface (Capitol). But be-
sc he is at least as lyrically obtuse as
McCartney, what results (for all its lush
melodicism) is ambitious mood mu:
Finn's songs lack nothing in cleverness,
xd the performances, especially the vo-
cals, are first rate. Uf Elvis Costello were
the singer he imagines himself to be,
he'd only just catch up to Finn.) But
there's no weight to апу of Finn's songs.
He's so busy avoiding the obvious that h
leaves us with no reason to suspect that
пу of his new songs will resonate for
couple of decades, like McCartney's We
Can Work It Out or, for (hat matter, his
rendition of Hi-Heel Sneaker —not to
mention Don't Dream It’s Over, the great
hit with which Crowded House kicked off
When he's done being cleve
will apply himself
something that cuit
rowded House remains a cult
ste, which is less than its fans I
ht to expect.

VIC GARBARINI

strated Bunnie Raitt, the long-
overdue recognition conferred Бу 1989s
quadruple Grammy whammy came, as
the album tile suggested, just in the nick
of time. ішек of the Draw (Capitol), her
long-awaited follow-up, proves that suc-
"t gone to her head—only deep-
ed her understanding of the mysteries
of the human heart. In both a musical
La lyrical sense, this album is an even
subdued and intimate series of
reflections than Nick of Time. “Gon
into it, baby, down where it’s tangled and
dark,” she sings. "No use in runnin’, it's
always the same.” And Raitt proceeds to
untangle the ancient knots of her
ps with grace, wit and wisdom.
ne Raitt fans should be warned
more musi-

cess ha

Longt
that Luck of Ihe Draw is eve
cally subdued than her last effort. Sparse

d understated vocals
rely gets out of second or
» on mid-tempo funk like
Something to Talk About. There
Kickers like Thing Called Love, and none
of her usually scorching slide work. Bu
jump on in, anyway. Repeated listenings
keep u g more emotional
ness and melodic grace, particularly on
One Part Be My Lover, co-written with her

ew husband, Michael O'Keefe, and the
astonishing ЛИ at Once, where the genily
swelling chorus movingly lifts her up. For
Bonnie Raiu, a мис luck doesn't hurt,
but character and talent have always
been her best cards.

FAST TRACKS

Christgau
2
6 5 6 7 7.
4 5 5 3
i rl

Lo 8 6 & | %

Bonnie Кай!

Luck of the Drow 9 8 Y 8 Ji

QUOTE OF THE MONTH DEPARTMENT: Rec-
ord mogul David бейеп calls public-
y an unpleasant aspect of fame. He
says, “They'd really be happy if 1
weighed four hundred pounds and
had a one-ineh dick. Then they could
say, "He's very successful. but he
weighs four hundred pounds and has
one-inch dick. But they can't say
that about me, so I have to live with all
this other shit.

REELING AND ROCKIN!
role in Ricochet, |ң Denzel Wash-
ington. . . . Whitney Houston will р
a high-profile singer/actress being
stalked by an obsessive fan in The
Bodyguard, starri
Herbie Hancock is composing
forming the score for the то
Large. . .. Ни Men, the tough exposé
of the music industry, is headed for
the big screen. Its author, Fredric Don-
nen, is about to choose between two
ollers for a film adaptation. . . . David
репти, producer of The Marrying
Man, has a movie bio of Janis Joplin in
the works. . . . Madonna will first ap-
pear as a circus performer in the next
Woody Allen movie and will then star
Even Cowgirls Get the Blues. . . . Acta
John Ritter has optioned a book about
early Fifties rocker ВИ Heley foi
other film bio.

newspreans: The Recording Industry
Sourcebook is available in book foi
(ог on floppy disk). The book, whi
retails for $49.95, tells you everyt
you ever wanted to know about music-
industry contacts in New York, L.A

nd Nashville. For more inte
call 800-472-7479... . The New Or-
leans Jazz and Heritage Festival will

finally be available
cial and a video

both a TV spe
those of us who

include Les Lobos, Robert Cray, NRBQ,

B. B. King, Ше Neville Brothers and Miles
Davi: Tom Petty has formed his own
cord label, Gone Gator. and the first
two releases will be old Tom Petty and
the Heortbreckers. albums from the
mid-Seventies. - . . We heard that M. с.
Hammer called the States every day
from his European tour stops to check
on how the Oakland As were do-
ing... . Huey Lewis says that his new
ingle All I Need Is a Couple Days Off is
not about White House Chief of Stall
John Sununu, but he's pretty amused
that people think it is. . . . James Brown.
update: a solo album thar will ger
back to the basics and a Gospel album.
ith controversial Reverend Al Shorp-
Ton. . . . € + C Music Factory is now
cutting up the dance floor for Coca-
Cola . . . Keith Richards went from
working on John Lee Hooker's next al-
bum to working on new songs lor his
next solo outing with Tom Waits.
Prince plans to release Diamands and
Pearls any minute and then take to the
road, where you, too, may see him... -
Rhino Home Video has а new collec-
tion culled m the old Shindig TV
shows. Look for everything from Frat
Party (with the Sir Douglas Quintet, the
Kingsmen and the McCoys) to Jackie Wil-
n (a collection that includes a duet
with Jerry Lee Lewis). . . . Finally, Janer
Jackson's lawyer Donald Passmen Пах
just published A You Need to Know
About the Music Business. Passman says
he wrote the book for young musi-
Gans to “protect them [rom being tak
en advantage оГ... by sleazeballs who
¢ naive young people and
them to long-term agreements where
they are guaranteed virtually noth-
ing” SI

ness? We never knew.—BARBARA NELLIS

zeballs in (he music busi-

Ву STEPHEN RANDALL

килу it happened this way: Sometime
during his youth, Lou Cannon made
pact with the Devil, “1 want to be a great
journalist,” he begged. “I want to be
esent when history is made. 1 want to
n it all into a major book. about a
esident—my President, one ГИ know
better than any other reporte
"No problem,” said Satan, chuck-
ling. "Of course, there ll be a catch. . . 7
Cannon was unfazed. "lake your best
shot," he replied.
As it turned out, Satan had a couple ol
catches in mind. Cannon did, indeed, be-
come the reigning expert on a President;
unfortunately, the President was Ronald.
Reagan. Instead. of devoting his life to
a great statesman, Cannon spent 25
years—from Reagan's early days in Са!
fornia politics through his Presidency—
g to Walter Pidgeon anecdotes.
. a President is a President, and
an moved back to Californi
10 rake ig bucks, Cannon x
down to write his big book. That's when
the Devil took his second shot: He ur
leashed the tawdry, gossipy Kitty Kelley.
Within journalism circles. Cannon
quickly became known as Kelley's other
victim. His highly regarded book, Pres
dent Reagan: The Role of a Lifetime, was re-
leased at the same time as Kelley's Nancy
Reagan. Guess which one was greeted
w front-page story in The New York
Times. Made the cover of Time and
Newsweek. Debuted as number one on the
best-selle
Lou had done what the rest of
us are doing: he entered the Kitty Kelley
zone, the media's version of the twilight
zone, where bad journalism inexplicably
shoves good j lism into the back-
ground, where otherwise upstanding
newspapers and news shows suddenly de-
velop yellow-jou fever, where pri-
lives are no longer private and
no longer enough.
ally Kitty Kelley's
the beneficiary of

vate

public lives

То be fair, it’s not
fault. Shes merely
some bold tabloid types who blazed the
trail before her. People magazine was the
pioncer in taking tabloid journalism out
ler parks

Proplelike ste
erywhere. The next big step came with
the rebirth of Vanity Fur as the National
Enquirer for people who use cloth nap-

imbue every political
yand profile with just
gossip to make Maury
nd promptly became the
ked-about magaz

ticle, murd,
п salacious

ste

How bad reporting steam-rolls good.

Has the press
caught yellow-
journalism fever?

windows in earnest. Leading the charge
was a series of tabloid TV shows—4 Cur-
rent Affair, Hard Copy, Inside Edition,
among others—that transferred the sen-
sationalism of print tabloids to the small
g minor celebrity scan-

а details in even the
nes.

dals

ns, tabloid journalism is OK—in
its proper place. But it oozed out of the
Enquirer and Hard Сору and started show-
ng up in the most unlikely places, such
s The New York Times. Not only did the
Times reveal the name of the woman in
the William Kennedy Si pe case but
a reporter ghoulishly peeped through
the windows of her two-ye:
ters bedroom—"There, on a shell, are
children’s books, inclu a copy ol
Вараг Anniversary Album and Feo Minute
Bible Stories" —and dı Ше wild
streak” the woman had had 14 ycars ago
n high school, which included, and
scems limited to, driving fast cars, going
10 parties and skipping classes.

JBC is doing it, too. Ask Chai
Robb, the Senator from Vir Accord-

les

ing to NBC's news
Robb had
for i

a /USA and was pres-
1 at parties where cocaine was used. In

inia, these charges were very old
news—they had been reported years
ҳои host Tom Brokaw bea
had the scoop of the decade.
casy being a public fi

It isn't
re these days," he

lectured at the beginning of the pro-
gram. “The line between public and pri-

is blurred more th: By
s end, that line was nonexistent
The New York 1 NBC—it seems

that everyone is do СО and Playboy
published pictures of Ted Kennedy ap-
parently having sex on а һом. (A
ng sex? That is news)
ABC's 20/20 grabbed some ratings with a
televised exorcism. The book that Kelley
displaced at the top of the charts was
You'll Never Eat Lunch in This N
has-been producer Julia Phillips venge
ful atack on her former best friends
Goldie Hawn (for her lax personal hy-
giene) and Steven Spielberg (for general
а and overachievement). She
dishes dirt on virtually everyone she ever
met, making her one of the few people to
step on as many people on her way down
as she did on her way up. The most—and

ps only—talked-about story Pre-
miere magazine has ever published was a
vivid account of Kim B: and Alec
Baldwin's misbehavior, sexual and other-
wisc, on the set of The Marrying Man, a
movie so bad it jumped from theaters to
video stores before most patrons had
finished their popcorn.

Rampant Kitty Kelleyism isn't merely
bad news for Lou Cannon; it's bad news,
period. Certainly the next woman who
has the misfortune to Бе raped by a
celebrity will think twice before she re-
ports it to the police. Whatever Charles
Robb did—or didn't do—cight years ago
по only came back to haunt him on NBC
but, thanks to the broadcast, may Бе
come the subject of a police
well. Apparently, ота
more interested in miscond
sce it on TY than they are when the n
conduct supposedly takes place.

The victims of tabloid journalism
aren't the only ones who hate it. Disgrun-
ted New York Times stallers nearly n
tinied over the Kennedy-rape article and
other Times t
shoveled scorn on NBC's. Expose, hamp-
ing it with A Current Affair and the oth
tabloid shows—hardly a good career

egom:

And Cannon is fighting back: He h
lawyer to make sure his publisher, Si
& Schuster—which also published Kel
ley's book—promotes his book as v
ously as it did Nancy Reagan.

Of course, once re
edy poised for ollshore
drilling, they tend to get spoiled. Per-
haps smarter, cooler heads w
and slow the tabloid tide
do, it’s undoubtedly
ground already lost

We have seen the journalism of the fu
ture. While it may not be bright yellow.
it’s a hearty shade of French vanilla

ж-

some

Hortiord, CT--Made ln USA.

STYLE

PATCHWORK MANIA

The look may be borrowed from the Sixties, but the Nineties
version is a cleaned-up, hip mix of fabric, pattern, texture and
color. As one of the fall's hottest trends, patchwork is available
in shirts, vests and even ties. International News and Tom Tai-
lor Sportswear patch together a group of flannel shirts
(between $40 and $70) that would
Enock the socks off any lum-
berjack. B. Free by M. Julian
sews together shirts with
viscose, flannel and velvet
panels ($85). Vests, such
as the one by Roger
Forsythe for Perry Ellis
Signature shown here
($430), can liven up a
pair of jeans or any solid-
color sports coat; while
Smith's burlap vest ($115)
has that vintage used-and-
repaired look. If you prefer
to keep your patchwork to a min-
imum, go with subtle madras ties
Steve Scheiner (about $25). Or, if
you're not quite ready to go public with
this new trend, grab a pair of patched flannel

boxer shorts from Tango by Max Raab ($15).

CUFF LUCK

Cuff links too staid? Take another look. These days,
they're less formal, more fun and even downright ec-
сеп For example, L'Aiglon offers enamel watermel-
ons and apples complete with worms that give
your shirt sleeves fruit for thought ($50 each).
Literary types will appreciate typewriter-key
cuff links (about $115) from Paul Smith in
New York and Ralph Davies in San Fran-
cisco, while philatelists may take a licking
to links created from vintage postage
) by RHC for mails. Charivari,
satisfies art lovers’ cravings with.
ight enamels ($225) and also offers
tiny Stetson hats ($110) for urban cowboys. Oth-
er off-the-cuff sports: Cuffton’s card links deal a
winning hand (about $30), while Gieves &
Hawkes makes its pitch with sterling-silver
croquet mallets and cricket bats (about
$135). And if you're interested in mal
truly swinging statement, Abba's п
golf balls and tees (about $110) may just be the
ultimate links for the links.

RAINCOATS

STYLE

FABRICS AND FINISHES

COLORS

Loose fit, shorier lengths, soft shoulders
and rounded collars; balmacaons, trench
coats and belted double-breasteds

Microfibers, quilted linings, oilcloth,
brushed-cotton sateen ond wax or зуп-
thetic finishes

Khaki, mustard, slate, olive or deep navy

HOT SHOPPING: BOSTON

The land of the Pilgrims’ pride has an international flair of
late, particularly on the Back Bay's chic shopping strip.
Joseph Abboud (37

Newbury Street): In
his first U.S. store,
Abboud bringsa Mil-
anese flair to both
his clothes and the
decor. e Adesso (200
Boylston Street):
"Irend-setting home
styles for the Jetson
set. e Riccardi (128

VIEWPOINT

New York Mets' star pitcher Ron
Darling may wear a uniform to
work, but off the mound, he's a ma-
jor-league fashion player. “I like
jackets by Boss, Mat-
suda, Montana, Byb-
los and Kaiserman,”

Newbury Street): says Darling, who adds
Euro clothing from that his favorite outfit
of | for an evening on the

ant-garde. ө town is "a blue Gaul-

Louis, Boston (234 tier suit I've owned for
Berkeley Street): five years.” Darling,
The first local admits that he prefers

suits in conservative
colors, but he puts his
own spin on the look
by pairing them with
sandals and wild ties.
On a more casual note, he favors
"faded jeans and white T-shirts. And
I don't go anywhere without my M.
Julian vintage black-leather jacket."

shop to offer Ital-
ian-style tailoring,
this longtime fash-
ion leader has start-
ed looking veddy
British. e Freedberg
of Boston (112
Shawmut Av-
enue): This
shop offers
classic Amer-
ап men’s suits at bargain priccs— but only on Satur
days from eight aM. to noon.

CLOSE SHAVES

Ihe water shortage in the Western states
may have clean-shaven residents in a lath-
er, but it has been great for the electric-
shaver business. Here's a sampling of
some of the newest models: Remington's
$70 Micro Screen Elite works with or
without a cord and features two ultrathin
screens for a smooth and comfortable
shave. . .. Sanyo's 8110 SVM641 promises
high-speed action and a 30-minute quick
recharge. . . . Braun's $30 PSB-DT Deluxe
Traveler battery-powered shaver is no larg-
er than a wallet. . .. And Porsche Design's
$275 silver-coated shaver will impress
even the most jaded Hollywood agent.

Rigid or tight-fitting designs, stiff collars,
neckband latches, shoulder pads ond
excessive detailing

Cheap plastic or vinyl, rubberized fob-
rics and printed or embossed finishes

White, red, yellow or light blue

MOVIES

By BRUCE WILLIAMSON

YOUTH, MUSIC and the extraordinar
influence of one on the other in recent
generations give an enormous charge of
energy to The Commitments (Fox). Director
Alan Parker, who made the musical Fame

another winner in
tion ol the novel by Roddy Doyle—all
about some Irish slum kids forming a
band in Dublin. Thick brogues
the dialog rough going Ѓог
American cars, but everything else about
the movie is ringingly clear. Among the
young performers, unknown over here,
who sing and play their guts out from be
ginning to end is an amazingly ma
16-year-old, Andrew Strong, phenome-
nal as the lead singer. Beautiful Angeline
Ball heads a bawdy trio of backup girls.
Soul music, says ger Jimmy
Rabbitte (played in overdrive by Robert
Arkins), is “about sex and str
a soul projects
tongues—the works."
white to do so

Maybe they're too
|, опе band member mu:
The Irish are the blacks

the
as the Commitments, but
^s movie 15 not about success. As
d, is about musics power "to raise
the expectations" of kids from Dublin to
Dubuque. This tuneful slice of life bels
out that message with gusto. ¥¥¥¥
.

Logic flew out the window when De-
fenseless (New Visions) was written. Fortu
ed perfor
with such zing that you
belief when attorney Barbara Н
discovers that her client and lover is mar-
d to a former college chum (M:
Beth Hurt). In fact, the busy fellow
(played Бу J. T. Walsh, a popular actor
with a corner on. projecting sleaze) has
many dark secrets and gets murdered be
cause of them, but that's c;
doesn't give too much away. Н
Hurt have some mci ble head-on col-
lisions over their involvement in th
‚with Sam Shepard appearing reg-

as а suspicious investigator from
The evolving mysteries сог
incest and pornography as well as
infidelity, but director Martin Campbell
stretch the la
wht up to the snapping
point—just where they should be in a
e pop thriller. УУУ

nicide.

A sensation at the C

cs Film Festival
п May, Spike Lee’s Jungle Fever (Univer-
sal) is à magnetic and haunting hit from
man with ideas to burn and the skill и
nake them sizzle. His catalyst here is
an extramarital alfa n Wesley

betwee

Arkins commits to soul in Dublin.

Soul in Dublin’s slums,
guns in L.A.'s
and Fever in Harlem.

es, playing a happily «
rchitect on the rise in an all-white
and Annabella Sc
sent to be his temp secretary. Their rel
tionship raises hell on both sides, from
Harlem to her home in Benson

T's meaningful that Lee dedicates Jun-
gle Fever to Yusef Hawkins, the black
youth murdered a couple of years ago for
daring to venture into Bensonhurst, but
he has more on his mind than paying
homage to one victim. All the characters
ћете Ossie Davis and Ruby Dee, the
straying architects. par Samuel L
Jackson as their other son, а hopeless
crack addict; John Turturro as an appeal-
ing nerd who worships Sciorra's Angie;
nd Lee himself as the hero's best
friend—are victims of a society con-

Lonette Mckee
Bloomingdale's buyer who sets the tone

of the entire movie in a vibr

nt, corrosive
encounter with a support group of young
black women. In their view, a black
male's proof that he has made it is to
"have a white woman on his ar

The somc
pays off in scene alter scene, with a reso-
nant sound track that makes Lec seem as
much an urba Woody Aller
though far angrier. While his grim pas-
tiche of love in the city crumbles, Lee
pipes in original tunes by Stevie W
or Frank Si doing Hello, Young

nder

Lovers and 11 Was a Very Good Year. The
irony is compelling. So is the movie. УУУУ
.

He doesn’t have the command of the
medium or the gift for nuance that make
Spike Lee movies so entertaining. but
ld writer-director John Single-
es as another black cineast with
1 Boyz n the Hood (Columbia).
The Hood of the title is south. central
L.A., where three African-American boys
(Cuba Gooding, Jr., Morris Chestnut and

ap singer Ice Cube) grow up as best they
Fuck this shit," ims a voice-
over as the picture begins, describing a
world where teenagers take sex, drugs
nd drive-by shootings for granted—
while the incessant drone of police heli-
copters overhead reminds them tha
they're living in a war zone. ¥¥/2
.

More than two dozen characters show
up in The Story of Boys end Girls (Aries),
er-director Pupi Avati's ribald come-
bout an engagement party in prewar
fascist Italy. The families of a boy named
Angelo, a well-bred nobody from Bo-
logna, and his betrothed, a country girl
named Silvia, meet in a hillside farm-
house where (he girls relatives have
planned a gigantic 20-course festa. Be-
fore it ends, simmering feuds boil ove:
housemaid is raped, the bride-to-be's f
ther gets tearful over his faithless mis-
tress, his wife is nicked by a stray bullet
nd everyone sex drive appe
to the occasion. Avati brings everything
to life so vividly that all the characters be
come familiar, somewhat comic and full
of human frailty. Seeing this movie is like
being ushered through a side door into a
big Italian celebration where you can't

ng.

s 10 rise

help enjoying yourself. лија
.
One of the 11 oddballs portraved by
іп Sex, Drugs,
Т

monologuist Егіс Bogosiar

Rock & Roll (Avenuc) is brags:
who boasts of his prowess with wome
1 hi
Some other speci
sion of Bogos

e show include ected
rock star, a drugged subway |
ind an obnoxious business tycoon. With
minimal sets and no special make-up, the
ctor wings through a rogues’ gallery of
impressions, some fins id
from Ernest Dicke (Spike Lec's cine-
matographer) and director John Mc
Naughton, best known for his chill
Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer. Ме
Naughton heats things up again with Bo-
gosian, who's a killer in the best sei
the word. УУУУ

а sexua

зе ol

.
of daytime television
is played for laughs—and keeps the
com much of the time—in Socpdish

The sudsy mili

JUST ANOTHER WHOLESOME FAMILY SITCOM.

*Dream On"

'The comedy series that takes a very adult look at life and love in the 90's.
Starring Brian Benben as TV's only real guy, Martin Tupper.
Watch for a new episode every Sunday night, 10 pm ET/PT.

HBO
SIMPLY THE BEST

Lee: chip off the old board breake!

OFF CAMERA

About to charge out of his fa-
mous father's footsteps into a
niche of his own, Brandon Lee is
poised for a debut in his first
American-made movie, Showdown
in Little Tokyo. “Nobody here saw
my first film, Legacy of Rage, be-
cause it’s in Cantonese, which is
actually my cradle language.” says
Lee. “In Showdown, Dolph Lund-
gren and I play cops in L.A., trying
то stop the Yakuza from bringing
in drugs.” The 26-year-old son of
the martial-arts superhero
Bruce Lee will star in Moving Tar-
‚get, which began shooting in June.
"Um playing a young Е
American who's in Tiananmen
Square, th gets involved
testifying against a Mafia don in
Chicago.”
ndon was born in Oakland

late

n later

but raised in Hong Kong. At the
age ht, after his father's
death, he returned to the U.S. with

of Swed-

his mother, an America
sh descent, "When my
ive, we used to go on t
in Hong Kong and b
nly about six at

boards

| problem after my
h. So I didn't work out, and
about five years off.” Nowa-
days, he regularly with Dan-
ny Inosant

as well as another
with Carolco Films.
Lee has

comm
The younge:
sh hopes of doing more
who died
2. “T like action-ad-
h produces roller-
ter rides you i
hit about. But I'd like
to do more serious things,
her might have done.
branch out into

ment

tal every day with three stitches in

my head."

(Paramount). Try to resist Sally Field as a
bitchy, insecure soap-opera star of a show
called The Sun Also Sels. Asked to go оп
the air wearing a turban, Field rages, “I
look like Gloria fucking Swanson!” Sally
needed this change of pace from sweet-
ness to chic savagery, In another sharp
comic turn, Cathy Moriarty plays a rival
who calls Field

meno
tries to bribe TV exec Robert Downey.
Jr. with sexual favors: “Get на of her.
and Mr. Fuzzy is yours.” Whoopi Gold-
berg, as the show's head writer, maintains

the pace—with Kevin Kline, Teri Hatch-
er and Flisabeth Shue helping prove life
madder than fiction. УУУ
.
Canadian-made A Paper Wedding
inment) has roughly the
same plot as Green Card but is handled
with much more credible seriousness.
Being an honest and not at all imitative
effort by director Michel Brault does not,
somehow, the movie's fa-
vor. Genevieve Bujold very effectively
5 a single teacher, having grave
doubts about her life with an
man when her sister talks her into а tem-
marriage of convenience with a
Chilean polit cal refugee named Pablo
(Manuel Aranguiz). His visa expired,
Pablo faces deportation unless he quickly
acquires a Canadian wife and a work per-
mit. Forced to move in together, the odd
couple faces an investigation of the rela-
tionship. It’s all predictable, convincing-
al, done with impeccable good taste
су. Still, Green Card's duo
(Andie MacDowell and Gérard Depar-
dieu) do seem to have a lot more fun. ¥¥
e
One wonders, occasionally, whether
some film makers should be allowed at
large with such а potent weapon as a
movie camera. Richard Linklater wrote,
produced and directed Slacker (Orion
Classics). He also plays a small role in it
as one of many characters—few of them
played by real actors—at very loose ends
in
yo
speak for a neo-beatnik breed of Ame
1 ]-Е.К. assassination bull,
an antisocial activist hawking T’shi
woman-hater, a mu ad а young
zany peddling a vial she believes cc s
Mados Pap smear. There's nothing
around like Slacker, but should there Бе?
Well. yes. If only to see what, if anything,
Linklater does for an encore. YY

The
(Capitol Enterta

mosphere
of an Irish sc;
(Miramax). Ceni
Neil Jordan's story is a
actress (Beverly D'Angelo) whos per-
forming nearby in an awful musical рг
duction of Destry Rides Again. To amuse
themselves, two local youngsters (Donal
MeCann and Lorraine Pilkington) start
making up stories about her, with sıı
prising results. yy

MOVIE SCORE CARD

capsule close-ups ој current films
by bruce williamson.

Backdraft (Reviewed 891) Fire-fight-

ng siblings at risk in Chicago. ¥¥¥
Boyz n the Hood (See review) Coming of
age on the wrong side of L.A. ¥¥/2

City Slickers (8/01) Billy Crystal and ur
ban misfit pals go West. Van
The Commitments (Sce veview) Making

soul music in Dublin. УУУУ
Defenseless (See review) Ex-chums

eet on а messy murder case. ЊЕ
Delusion (3/91) Hitting the road witha

hit man and sexy Jennifer Rubin ¥¥/2
Eating (8/91) Director Henry Jaglom’s
essay on women, love and food. YY/2
Hangin’ with the Homeboys (6/91) Four
bruisers cruising the Bronx wy
Hudson Hawk (Listed only) Wrong

bird. This one's a turkey. Y
Jungle Fever (See review) Spike Lee's
hot new take on relationships. УУУУ

The Miracle (чес review) Another trip
to Ireland. yy
Му Fether*s Glory (8/01) Warm тето.
ries of a boyhood in Provence. WM
My Mother's Castle (8/91) Morc ol the
same reminiscences from Pagnol. ¥¥¥
А Paper Wedding (Scc review) Another
marriage of convenience. w
Poison (3/91) Based on stories by Jean
Genet, and causing quite a st Ww
Prisoners of the Sun (Reviewed 7/91 as
Blood Oath) Japanese war crimes aired
by Bryan Brown ww
The Reflecting Skin (Listed only) Who
done it? Who cares?

Sex, Drugs, Rock & Roll (Sec review)
Bogosian does it all. УУУУ
Slacker (See review) lalking to wild
things deep in the he
Soapdish (чес review) Here`s suds in
your eye, courtesy of Sally Field. ¥¥¥
The Story of Boys and Girls (See review)
Droll party in Italy. УД
Straight Out of Brooklyn (7/91) Вай news
from another "hood. vx
Strongers in Good Company (6/91) Seven
marooned elderly women reminisce.
Marvelous—and upgraded. УУУУ
A Tale of Springtime (5/01) In his very
French m: Eric Rohmer checks
a matchmaking daughter. ¥¥/s
Thelma E Louise (5/91) Susan S:
and Geen

Davis on

onew

ay jc

ney of women's liberation ww
Trust (8/01) Boy with hand grenade
yyy

meets preg ager
Truth or Dare (7/91) Now you know
what Blond / УУУ];

УУУУ Don't miss look

¥¥¥ Good show

yv Worth

It's brewed with care.
Please handle it that way.

After all, ij smoking isn't a pleasure, why bother?

SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Smoking
Causes Lung Cancer, Heart Disease,
Emphysema, And May Complicate Pregnancy.

Kings: 16 mg. “tar”, 12 mg menune, Lights Kings. Я mg “та, 1.7 mg. nicotine ам. per cigarette by FTC Method

"Alive
with pleasure"

VIDEO

ШИ ИШЕ

“I'd never tell anybody
this,” says the inim-
itable Garry Shan-
dling, "but | have
Woodstock on tape—
just for the clichéed
language. Like Aro
ie saying, “Сап
it, man? It's a
riot.” Shandling's home-vid tastes are pre-
dictably waggish: He owns the complete
Woody Allen (“I love Manhattan, especial-
ly"), and although he says it's "painful"
watching himself on tape, he owns other
stand-ups’ stand-up, including Eddie Mur-
phy Raw and Richard Pryor Live on the
Sunset Strip ("the best performance ev-
er"). Shandling can also be sentimental; he
savors Hoosiers’ “small-town feel,” cried
after watching Ghost and is hooked on Al-
bert Brooks's Modem Romance. What
won't the lonely guy watch on video?
“Porno. | can't even walk into the porn sec-
tion of a video store without blushing. ГИ
stay there for hours, but 111 be blushing.”

— MARK HEALY

BRUCE ON VIDEO
our movie critic goes to the tape

g subtitles on TV may be a chore,
but it would be a shame to skip foreign
movies altogether—particularly those

brimful of erotica. Here's a hot list for
twosome viewing:
Dona Flor and Her Two Husbands: The 1978

that exposed 5

rquez, with Claudia Ohana as the pas-
sionate beauty who pays for breaking her
t vows.
Rouge Baiser (Red Kiss): Sexual politics

beguile a French teenager (Charlone
Valandrey) who's hooked on a hot
photographer

36 Fillerte: Another teenaged French tease
(Delphine Zentout) at large on the Riv-
iera, where she infla а 40ish business-
man and makes the screen sizzle.

Two Women: Vivid 1961 Halian classic
about a wartime mother and daughter
who are raped. Sophia Loren won an Os-
car playing the mom. —BRUCE WILLIAMSON

VIDEO BOOM!
From cannon balls to grenades to Patri
ots, every var is different, every wa
same. And they all make for ri
VCR viewing.

The Civil War: ken Burns's

ries is a peerless model of how to n
still photos spring to Ше. Best bits: the
psychological profiles of key players (Mc-
Clellan was a wimp) and diary excerpts
(Time/Life).

The Great War: 1918:
"war to end all war

е
ing

Ihe final act of the
is told through the

letters and di
mselves—i

es of the doughboys
cluding Sergeant York,
ershing and Captain Harry S.
man (PBS).

The World at War: Laurence Olivier n
rates this intelligent, сотре!
ume classic on World War ‘Two (
HBO Video).

Victory at Sea: More W
perbly scored b
mayhem never sounded better (Nelson).
Korea: The Forgotten War: No M Ші
rehash, but 92 minutes of rare archival
footage, the final word on Asia's shat-
tered Seoul. Narrated by Robert Stack
(Media Home Entertainment).

Vietnam: A Television History: This seven-

su-

tape set (all 13 segments from the
brutal and ex-
-ompiled, with an ambivalence

that walks the brink of despair (Sony
Schwarzkopf: How the War Was Won: |
postgame D that kicked
n Norm; anonizati
between Bill Moyers and John Со
man. the general divulges Operation
Desert Storm's top top secrets. Tape has
already gone platinum (MPI).

Most tapes are available fiom Time/Life
Video, 800-621-7026. —DAVID LEFROWITZ

VIDEOSYNCRASIES

minute vid homage to the
“mug shots," commen-
п and music (The Waltz
of the Dicks) by ex-Velvet Undergrounder
John Cale. Destined for cult greatness
(Bananas Video, 800-866-7806).

John Bradshaw on "Surviving Divorce”: With
the aid of a live audience and a captivat-
ing delivery, therapisutheologian/feel-
beuer guru Bradshaw takes on the
passion and the pain of divorce—and
wins. Outstanding (Sagebrush Produc-
ns, 800-441-

ght-and-sound “odys-
me” blending specu
пршег animators

and track (Mir-

sey through
agery by leading со

music s

h an origina
amar).

ШШЕШ

Hannibal Lecter Video of the Month: De-
grassi Junior High: Food for Thought;
Kinkiest Scunding Video: The Fconomics
of Vertical Restraints; Best John Gotti

Dream Tape: How to Pick a Jury; Most
Ambitious Video Matchmaker: Should
Oceans Meet?: Best Audience-Participa-
tion Video: Меп on Women. Women on
Men; Best Thrill-a-Minute Video: Soil: Ап
Introduction; Best It's-a-Living Video:
Judging Market Swine.

By DIGBY DIEHL

том CLANCY touched all the right nerves
his earlier works such as The Hunt for
Red October, Red Storm Rising and Clear
and Present Danger. The master of ıhe
techno-thriller gave us detailed. inside
information about real American mili-
tary gadgetry such as nuclear subma-
rines, radarproof airplanes (the Stealth
bomber was still а classified military se-
cret when he wrote about it) and the
5.0.1. “Star Wars" system. He wrapped
his books in the flag and created. Jack
ап, a hero whose courage and intelli-
gence are exceeded only by his patriot-
ism. His books made us feel like the
unambiguous "good guys" in an ambigu-
ous world of post-Vietnam realitic

The Sum of All Fears (Pu m), Clancy's
sixth novel, arrives in the afterglow of a
war that made many of his fictions real
ty. We are in a mood to celebrate our mil-
itary technology. More important, we
feel more confidence in America’s role as
peace keeper for a free world. Hence,
more than 1,000,000 copies of this new
novel аге being shipped in the anticipa
tion that Clancy's themes will strike an
especially timely chord.

Clancy delivers with deadly accuracy
and power. This new book opens some-
time in the near future аз Kyan—now
deputy director of the CLA—envisions a
bold initiative to establish peace in the
Middle East. Almost simultaneously, the
FBI Hostage Rescue Team takes out a
member of the radical Native American
group called the Warrior Society; an Ore-
gon logger chops down a tree destined to
replace the beams in a 1200-ycar-old
Japanese temple; an Israeli police cap-
tain shoots а defenseless Arab protester
at the Temple Mount; a former unit l
er of the Baader-Meinhof Gan
in Bulgaria, plots revenge
unified Germany; the President's. N
tional Security Advisor dies at his desk of
а massive heart attack; а Palestii
rorist in Beirut discovers he is dying of
cancer; a new skipper is assigned to the
Ohio-class missile submarine Maine;
aD armer finds an old bomb Би
in his garden. Six chapters
Pope in the Vatican and the President
the United Nations are both espousing
Ryan's Middle East peace ideas to almost
unanimous international and
the other disp mes
story are begi

The Sum of All
than Clancy's previous books Би
a spectacularly violent climax that bri
the world to the brink of nuclea
The initial slower pace derives fron
thoughtful probing into the polities
personalities of contemporary world
power ba afier the breakup of the

acclaim,
e threads of СІ

war

Tom Clancy's The Sum of All Fears.

This techno-thriller brings
the world to the
brink of nuclear war.

s though Clancy

n Bloc. B is
cds to remi
rs) that Ryan is playing a new game that
has more dangers from within than from
without. Until he gets moving into the
plot, you could mistake this thriller for а
political novel. But in the спа. Clancy
fulfills his implicit promises of suspense,
intrigue and violent action. Perhaps it is
futing that, at the end of this book, Jack
Rya wes his retirement
Government service

Easte
1

annou from
Another sort of warfare is described in
Léon Bing's Do or Die (Harper-Collins).
This shocking nonfiction study of the
Crips and the Bloods in south central
Los Angeles is the most vivid and
sightful investigation any reporter has
made into gang lile. Bing talked with
these kids on the streets, in the prol
camps and in Soledad Prison. 1
human face behind tragic headlines,
sad, honestly reported story of kids at
war with themselves.
Somewhere in that big liter
n

tion

y acreage
gway and
er Thompson is a chunk of space
for Jim Harrison. And his chunk is grow
ing langer every year. His collection of
nonfiction, Just Before Dark (Clark City),
m as large a piece as some ol
such as 4 Good Day to Die,

his novels
Sundog or The Woman Lit by Fireflies

his But these es
about ice fishing, driving through the
Midwest, bird hunting in Michigan's Up

per Peninsula, fishing in the Florida Keys

uous poetry.

and “eating vividly” are evocative, ехи-
berant spiritual journeys that explore life
close to the land. And his fractured
comic conversation with novelist. Tom
McGuane is itself worth the price

Finally, four new mystery/detective
novels stand out in a crowded field: Pas-
time (Putnam), by Robert B. Parker. takes
Spenser down memory lane to confront
his own youth as he helps a young man in

а moving, nostalgic sequel to Early An-
шти. Another master of the detective
form, Leonard, finds more mate

rial among the colorful low-lile charac
Beach County for Maximum
Bob (Delacorte), a droll story about the
long list of suspects who may be trying to
kill a redneck judge. In D. Keith Mano's
weird and wildly funny novel Topless
(Random House), Episcopal priest Fa-
ther Michael Wilson tries to manage hi
brothers topless bar in Queens with
amusing results until one of the semi-
naked ladies ends up dead and the game
turns nasty. Wayne Warga takes us on a
st-moving romp through the black
markets of Singapore in search of a mur-
derer who likes antique jade in Singapore
Transfer (Viking).

BOOK BAG

1 Shudder at Your Touch (ROC/Penguin),
edited by Michele Slung: A home-alone,
lock-the-doors, turn-on-all-the-lights col-
lection of 99 deliciously perverse tales
that combine sex and horror by Stephen
King, Clive Barker and others.

Sacrifice (Knopf), bv Andrew Vachss: In
the sixth novel of this extraordinary se-
ries, PL Burke returns to New York to
follow а child-abuse case into the dark
world of Satanic ritual.

The Great American Gripe Book (Inlorma-
tion USA), by Matthew Lesko: Hi arc
more than 1000 Government offices vou
can contact to settle a complaint; your
passport to a consumer's paradise.

HI Stop НИ Die: The Comedy and Tragedy of
Richard Pryor (Uhunder's Mouth), by John
A. and Dennis А. Williams: The brilliant
but troubled life and career of the outra
geous comic whose humor has marked.
him as a major performer of our times.

A Whole Different Ball Game: The Sport and
Business of Baseball (Carol), by Marvin
Miller: The first director of the Major
League Baseball Players Association
takes us into the conference room where
headline-making deals were hammered
out and multimillion-dollar contracts
ushered in.

То Serve and Collect (Praeger). by
Richard C. Lindberg: A grimly amusing
case history of big-city police and politi-
cal corruption, which has achieved its
purest form in Chicago

Nolan Ryan.baseballs
all time strikeout leader and ]

T AVON pN A LEADER N GORY ADE оаза,

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his column is dedicated to William
I Kennedy Smith, whatever happens
to his indictment for rape in Palm Beach,
lorida. It is early June, and the safe
thing would Бе for me to wait until all
the facts are in before 1 write about Sena-
tor Ted Kennedy's nephew. But ! believe
we should talk about this predicament
ght now.
As I see it, Smith is already as much a
victim in this case as his accuser claims to
be. What has happened so far to Smith is
nothing short of a cultural lynching. In
the media, in the gossip of the day, in the
public statements of people who claim to
be experts, Smith has been named,
cused, pictured (and what a photograph
at first), analyzed, charged, convicted,
jailed—and hanged by a lynch mob from
the highest tree.

Smith's guilt has been assumed
most of the talk so far. Rarely has he been
referred to as an alleged rapist; he is sim-
ply the rapist. And now there is some:
thing worse: NBC's Hard Copy has done a
show that, while consistently referring to
the alleged rape, gave me the impression
that Connecticut police are interested in
evidence gathered at the Palm Beach
scene in regard to the sex murder of a
15-year-old girl in 1975. That half hou
ol air time has silenced all but the hardi-
est of his defenders.

The treatment that Smith has received
by the public should be chilling to us all.
What has happened to him from the be-
ginning of the investigation has ver
nous implications for every man in
merica. Whatever the technical charge,
1 sce this as an instance of possible date
ape, and it therefore touches us all.
Think about it for a minute: И could hap-
pen lo you.

Remember thi:

. the male so a

d guilty in the court of
before

on. At that moment,
any indictment, before
sonable investigation or u
ation is shattered and his [ше 5

Once accused, the male in America be-
comes fair game for all those people who
think deeply about the rights of women
but who couldn't с less about the.
rights of men. (Indeed, in many circles, а
mention of “the rights of men” invokes a
cynical chuckle.)

By ASA BABER

A CULTURAL
LYNCHING

What is even more threatening to men
today is this: Project a trend line of pop-
ular attitudes about men accused of date

ape into the 21st Ce and it ap-
pears that every American male who
nts to have a social life will live
possibility of sexual blackmail

Here is the scenario: Whimsically
grily, unjustifiably or not, any anon
mous woman can destroy a man's good
standing in his community by pointi
her finger and naming him as a date

rapist. In. Smith's case, his accuser re-
mained anonymous to the American
public for two weeks and no purpose

would be served by naming her here.
When she was finally named, long after
Smith's face and name had been
eared across the newspapers and TV
sereens and ines of this country,
there were great debates about her rights
to privacy. There were few, if any, about
Smith's rights to privacy: Indeed, the cu
tural assumption is that a man accused of
date rape has no rights to privacy.
this complicated arena of
sexual politics is definitely against и
gentlemen. A lynch mob could be just
Че your door. In William Kennedy
Smith's case, a lynch mob has already
placed the rope around his neck.

Lets face the facts: As men, we are a

political and demographic minority
and not a very popular or respected one
in certain sec culture. The im-

е of the male as inherently evil has
been pounded into the American psyche
for decades. Hannibal Lecter lives. So we
had better take note of this cultural dy-
namic and do something about it. А few
suggestions:

1. The stigma attached to a male who
is accused of date rape is just as severe as
the stigma attached to the accuser who
has charged the man with sexual as
sault—if not more so. It is extremely
harmful to be called an oppressor and an
auacker and а rapist. Could we have
recognition of that fact in the mediaz

2. Neither the name of the accuser nor
the name of the accused should be pub-
shed when the accusation is made. If an
indictment is handed down, then both
names can be made public.

_ 3. The charge of date rape is, by defin
n. more complex than that of brutal
rape Бу an unknown assailant. Until ai
made, and unti
both the accused and the accuser have
ad a chance to face each other in court,
date rape should be the phrase used in
describing the accusation

4. More than ever before, men need to

educate themselves about the law and its
ons to their issues. More than
the only thing that stands
and a lynch mob in this
ky area of date rape is the law itself.
not count on the media and the
public to treat us fairly if we are accused
of date rape.
s risky as it may seem to you, and as
unpopular as it may make you in certain
les, it is your job to argue the case for
rights in the date-rape debate.
Don't sit silently by when people suggest
that only the accuser feels waumarized,
only the accuser has rights. Once ав;
someday il could happen to you?

6. Finally, we live in an environment of
antimale sexism and prejudice. You'd do
well to remember that
careful out there.

William Kenne dy
of law find you gu pe, then ye
deserve appropriate legal punishment.
Rape is a terrible crime. But let it also be
ted on the d that you wer
Iynched ll, before
you had

ge of us and be

the courts

WOMEN

г writing this in the middle of a
book tour, which means I'm on lots of
adio programs where people call in and
sk me questions. Here's the question
that leaves all others in the dust:

"You women say you wi
tive man who unde
caller A.

“But Ive noticed that what really
seems to get ladies’ juices flowing is men
who are mean to them,” says caller B.

“L have a bunch of friends who treat
women like shit. These guys are swarming
with women! Tm a nice guy; why can't I
get a date?” says caller C.

So either this is а syndrome experi-
enced only by male radio-station callers
to female writers or it's an epidem

I think it’s more than an epidemic; I
think it’s the biggest tragedy of the hu-
man heart. Women will follow abusive
guys until they fall off the earth

The same way men will follow abusive
women. Its true. In fact, there are plenty
ol misguided self-help books out there
that guarantee a woman a husband in a
month if she will only follow this sc
tional three-step progran

1. Be a bitch. 2. Be a bitch
bitch.

These books probably work! The mean
women 1 know have hundreds of men
clinging to their ankles. But guess
¡at—these women are not happy until
they're clinging to the ankles of some
disaster in a pony tail who would rather
be fondling his Porsche!

“Well, yeah,” says my friend Loma,

“though guys also like really neurotic
women with a lot of problems who need
to be saved.”

“So if we want to get laid, we have to
choose one of those personas?

“Lers uy being mean,” she decided.
Il be more fun.

Used to be | was one of those women
who made a habit of getting involved
with real bastards and then moaned
about being mistreated. But for four
years, no guy had been abusive—unt
last month. It was fascinating to watch
myself turn into a mound of jelly.

At first, when he was being nice, I felt
ophobic; I felt frightened because
he was coming on so strong. But because
I'm not quite as mentally ill as I used to
be, I relaxed and started to enjoy the
idea that I might have a nice boyfriend.

That was the moment he chose to
break a date. Then he became unav:

3. Bea real

clausi

By CYNTHIA HEIMEL

SICKOS
"3" US

ble for the most sperious of reasons. 71
һу want to see you,” he'd say, "but 1
ave to work on my taxes."

I fell to pieces. | cried, 1 grew obses-
sive, 1 hid under the covers. I thought
bout him all the time, different sce
nning through my br
why he had disappeared. Fried to r:
alize his behavior, tried to convince my-
self he really liked me, he was just a
scared, he'd be back soon. 1 fell
bout him. 1 woke up thi
bout him. It was intensely painful
And ly inappr
Even in my insanity, I couldn't help but
notice that 1 didn't know this guy well
enough for his loss to devastate me this
жау. So I tried to think

1 was walking on the b
gorgeous day of the yea
ng really r
tihed how | was feel
that because this guy didn
cause he rejected me, I was notl
da. Zip

"BOR
ag it out on
ndorphin high, "this is a guy
seemed. nice but not particularly
not madly c t a regular guy.
How come his opinion means the world
Is this pain really about something else?
Yes! As the endorphins kicked

los

was tot:

ach on the most

iser

sell while sweat

1, hoping fo

who

І ге-

ized it was abou
how | felt as a
turned her back and
me, when my father, my beloved father,
shook his head and said, “Alter all we've
done for you.” This is how I felt when I
turning myself inside out trying to
get my parents to love me, something
they couldn't quite manage. This guy
w guy, he was a button pusher.

I have two dogs, Sally and Newton
ally has always been treated well. New
ton was abused before I got him, Il you
accidentally step on Sally, she velps,
glares reproachfully and stalks off. И you
accidentally hurt Newton, he hangs his
head, he wags his tail pleadingly, he
thinks he's been bad. Then he spends all
his time trying to get you to like him
again. Newton and 1, two sick puppies

Sigmund Freud, Groucho Marx and
Woody Allen all said something ЖЕ)
would never belong to а club that would
have someone like me as a member.”
When this guy dropped me, I felt that he
saw some hideous truth about me and it
made him run , and
that's when 1 became despe: i
his club.

Abuse makes me and millions of other
like me wag our tails and beg for for
ness. Abuse taps into our deepest fears
nd needs. Abuse makes us feel like we
deserve everything bad we get. Abuse
makes us want to crouch at the feet of the
abuser and lick his toes until he likes us.

We're not talking one or two deviant
maniacs. We're talking a significant por
tion of humanity. Many of us, maybe
even most of us, need serious rewiring.
And 1 think its because what is perceived

s normal—the way parents were taught
to treat children, the way our education-
al systems operate—breaks a child's s|
it and makes E maged adult.

We must learn to Бе better, we must
learn to treat our children with respect
We must learn to imbue them with in-
alienable feelings ol self-w

Meanwhile, Im trying to pull mysell
up by шу bootstraps. Here's what Tve
done: Instead of slinking away and lick-
ing my wounds the way I used to, I called
guy and demanded he tell me why Ве
appeared. He told me he was sorry, he
really liked me, but there was this teenag-
er he'd fallen for. | got really mad for an
hour or two. Then I fell much better.

something else. This
ny

Feal

flavor
inan

ultra

[ |

MERIT

[ Ultra Lights

Kot

SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Cigarette

Smoke Contains Carbon Monoxide.

Right Guard'Sport Sticks.
| Beytingiese monid be uncivilized,

THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR

When my girlfriend and I make love,
my thoughts often drilt to other women
Гуе bedded over the years, especially а
girl with whom I had a brief but very tor-
vid summer romance when we were both
camp counselors in college ten years ago.
Т love my girliriend—at least I think 1
do— these intense flashbacks are get-
ting out of hand and are starting to in-
terfere with sex. Am I messed up or
what?—J. R., Reston, Virginia

Not al all. Recently, researchers at the Uni-
versity of Vermont surveyed 178 sexually ac-
tive adults on the subject of erotic fantasies.
Eighty-four percent said they fantasized about
sex with people other than their partner. And
in their fantasies, they ofen imagined engag-
ing in sexual practices much hinkier than any
thing they actually did. Meanwhile, like you,
more than one quarter of the frequent fanta
sizeis fell guilty about their erotic daydreams.
Many worried that their fantasies might harm
their relationships. The researchers concluded
that their study corroborated what many other
sexuality authorities have said: Sexual. fan-
tasies are perfectly normal. Dou t worry about
their content. In fantasy, coerylhing is permit-
ted and nothing is wrong.

Bin in the market for a new television set
and someone recently recommended a
model equipped with SRS. 1 pretended
to know what he was talking about, but,
really, E don't have you
help?—E. W., Atlanta, С

Isn't й amazing how intelligent the boob
tube has become? SRS (Sound Retrieval S
lem), one ој TV's latest smart functions, was
originally developed by Hughes Aircraft to im-
prove the acoustics in its airplanes. In short, it
reprocesses the television’s audio signal to
mimic the ways in which the human ear hears
sound. Instead of the typically flat sounds
generated by standard television sels, SRS
offers more spatial dimension—greater depth,
width, clarity and imaging— regardless of
how the program was broadcast or recorded.
Furthermore, sounds that may have been hid-
den by the recording process ave revealed. And
yon don't have lo stake ош a seat right m front
of the speakers to enjoy the benefits of SRS; it
sends balanced sound thoughout the room. So
Jai, few companies offer SRS-equipped TVs.
Sony was the first to incorporate the soplasti-
cated technology in its high-end XBR sels in
1989. Earlier this year, Toshiba announced
plans to offer ils own SRS models. Bul, like
any other technology, if it sells, you can bet
there will be more of it m the future.

Ever since my wife we
got a diaphragm, the
hurts when we have sex. I feel like m
banging into the damn thing. She sa
she doesn’t feel any discomfort, but this
roblem has taken the pleasure out of

off the pill and
of my penis

the deep thrusting Гуе always enjoyed. 1
don't think anything is wrong with my
penis, but should I see a urologist? Or
could her diaphragm be the problemz—

N., Buffalo, New York.

1 doctors consultation might be а good
place to start. if only to rule out a medical
problem. А prostate infection or some other
genitourinary condition could conceivably
cause рат at the lip of your penis. Bul,
frankly, we doubt it. We suspect it’s your wife's
diaphragm, especially since you say the prob-
lem began when she switched to it [rom the
pill. Here are a few suggestions: Your wife
should visit her physician or Jamily-planning
clinic and check to see that her diaphragm is
the right size. She should also make sure she's
inserting il cori If AS the wrong size, or if
she's not placing й properly, you may be bang-
ing into the vim and feeling discomfort. But if
all's well with her diaphragm, you may simply
have an ultrasensitive glans. In that case, you
have three choices: As much as you dislike the
idea, you could thrust less deeply. You could
add extra. lubvication—spermadal jelly or
cream, KY jelly or your wife's saliva —to the
head of your penis. Or you and your wife
could reconsider your contraception. Condoms
ше a possibility. So is the contraceptive
sponge, which is quile soft and unlikely lo ir-
rilate even the most sensitive penis.

Prease explain the difference between
espresso, café au lait and cappuccino.—
D. B., Los Angeles, California.

Here's the scoop: Espresso is made by using
а strong, espresso blend of coffee, preferably
freshly roasted and ground. Espresso coffee is
approximately three limes stronger than regu-
lar, or American, coffee, though И contains less
caffeine. M is often served with а thin slice of
lemon. Café au lait is made with regular

ILLUSTRATION BY DENNIS MUKAI

coffee, lo which an equal amount of warm milk
is added before serumg. Cappuccino is made
with espresso, to which steamed milk 15
added—and perhaps а sprinkling ој cinna-
mon—before serving.

rs alter my wile died in an
at, Гуе fallen in love again.
xd sexually super-
had any sexu-
but she was
and except for

al com
rather demur
heavy br
ne

athing, our lovemal

My new love is
ict, she's downright boisterous,
1 find her erotic noise-
id since I met her a
ve enjoyed some ec-
с, high-volume sex. But my son is
coming home from college soon and,
frankly, Газ feeling a little concerned. I
don't want to ask my lover to pipe down
during his visit—perish the thought. And.
I don't саге that he knows we're mı
love. At 20, he's sexually active, a
already told him about my new love, E
one thing to bid my son good ni
and repair to а quiet horizontal inter-
lude, and quite another 10 have my
lover's shrieks reverberating throughout
the house. What should 1 doz—G. D.,
Sunnyvale, Calilomia,

Weil advise adding а stereo to your bed-
room мї and cranking that sucker up high to
counter your lovers shrieks. Try some Van
Halen от John Philip Sousa. You might also
subtly suggest to her that a little more breath-
ing and a little less shricking would be a recipe
Jor a mellower holiday.

ng was

er nois) ach more

vocal; in
camer:

go, w
ма

Can

d like to buy an older sports cai
you provide some tips and guide
Where do I look? How do I know if the
asking price is fair? What about service
and parts?—G. M., Montpelier, Vermont.
A vintage sports car can provide exciting
transportation at less than the cost of a new
car The rules are similar to those for any
used-car purchase. Look for a clean, low-
mileage car with а good service history. Good
sports cars can be found in your local “pen-
nysaver” and newspaper, as well as in the Av
toWeek classifieds, in Hemmings Motor
News (802-442-3101), а publication that
lists thousands of cars and parts for sale each
month (it also lists suppliers, restorers and
parts sources for every make), and in The Du
Pont Registry, a guide lo high-end col-
lectibles. Compare several asking prices for the
same model to determine a fair average, or
check the listings in "CPI: The Value Guide to
Cars of Particular Interest” (301-779-8488).
Another helpful source is individual-make
"Buyer's. Guides,” published by Motorbooks
International (800-826-6600). If you are
lucky enough to find а car that you want,

PLAYBOY

remember that service may бе а problem. Con-
sult enthusiastic car-cwning friends, your lo-
cal sports-car club and the Yellow Pages far a
local garage that knows your make. Best of
all, besides their head-wruing value, older
sports cars ave cheaper to insure than current.
counterparts. Happy hunting?

My new

of birth control. She says it’s ell
because it washes the sperm out of h
vagina. Tve never really heard of this
method. Should 1 be worried?—T. 1
Denver, Colorado.

Put it this way: By the time she gets to the
washroom to douche, your determined sperm
may have already reached their target. If they
haven't, Ihe jet from the douche will certainly
help them along. In other words, douching
has one of the highest failure rates ој any con-
traceplive technique. Unless youre eager to
hear the pitter-palter of little feet, tell your
girlfriend it’s time lo try something reliable.

friend douches as a m

Thre mim julep is the official drink of
the Kentucky Derby. Is there a special
h the Ps
Triple Crown event?—
son, Arizona.

Not lo be outdone, the Preakness: has an
oficial drink, too—the Black-Eyed Susan: To
the juice of 2 lemons and 1 orange, add Y
blespoon sugar and ¥ oz. bourbon. Shake, then
pour over crushed ice. Yare off and running

Let them fall into
make an Italian beg for

Avery Island’s

Since my husband has n
i getting him to acco
visits used to be hell. 1 never
blamed him. My parents are a drag, but
they are my parents. Fortunately, my hus-
band’s in-law aversion recently changed
to enthusiasm. 1 anne d that if he
stopped hveiching and behaved himself at

y parents”, P d give him a magnificent
blow job on the drive home. Nothing like
a positive-ince program to make ev-
eryone happy. He is now a dear with my
folks, and we both e the drive home.
As soon as we hit the freeway, I start
stroking the already-large bulge in his
pants. Then [unzip him, and his
tion pops ош. Т suck him into my mouth
d my head bobs up 1 down in his
lap. Meanwhile, he pulls off my top and
unhooks my bra so that my bi :
free. 1 love the way he gently fondles
them as I continue to give him loving lip
auto-erotieism lasts about 20
until we approach our

ed my

y me on

really

ec-

he comes, and I enjoy a nice warm “cock-
tail

Then | zip him back up again,
ch is why I'm writing. worry that his
Zipper might pinch his tender flesh. Не
could zip himself up. but he really loves
this little finishing touch, and Г enjoy do-
it for him. But I don't want to hurt
him, especially there. Any suggestions? —
Mrs. C. H., Bowling Green, Ohio.

Your incentive program has certainly struck
а major blow for family harmony. As for your
problem, we suggest you christen one pair of
your husband's slacks his “in-law pants” and
replace its zipper with Velero. Easy open and
easy close, with no risk of pinching. In addi-
tion, if at your parents’ house you hear the tell-
tale sound of Velero coming undone, you'll
know ИУ time to stop admiring your man’s
new blender and hit the road.

sports ја
spend son
Че оп color
ting discou
Chicago, Illinois.

You might consider taking a significant oth-
er along lo give you an opinion that’s nol your
own or a salespersons. The most important
thing is to find a style that fus. Then worry
about Ihose other questions: color, weight, ma
terial and the rest of your outfit. But here's a
tip: Designers have distinct cuts to their
clothes. Go to a department store and try on at
least one jacket from every designer who inler-
ests you. If you find a coat by Joseph Abboud
that fis, chances are all Abbouds will fit. Some
men have Armani bodies, others have Bill
Blass builds. Knowing which designers’ prod-
нек have fit in the past will greatly reduce the
time spent on your clothes hunt.

e been searching for a hip designer
et for which Im willing to
: cash. Problem is, 1 ка
designer or loo
. Any pointers?

Letthe drops fall where they may.

е spaghetti sauce. And create а sauce that would
more. Let them fall into the oil to spice up a big
bowl of popcorn for the late-night movie. Or into macaroni and cheese, on hamburgers,
fish sticks, baked potatoes, even in mayonnaise. But wherever the dropsof ®

magical Tabasco” brand pepper sauce fall, they won't fall

unappreciated. And evenif you happen to spill a drop or two along the way, not
to worry. There’s plenty w more where they came from.

The lively taste of Tabasco" sauce.

Don tkeepit bottled up.

©1991. TABASCO is a registered trademark of McIlhenny Company.
For the recipes of Walter McIlhenny in "А Gentleman's Guide to Memorable Hospitality," send $3.25to МсПһеппу Co., Dept. GG, Avery Island, Louisiana 70513.

How winne

hold up under temperature c
E. E, Dallas. Texas.

According to the experts, it's never a great
idea to store compact discs in your car But we
were surprised to learn that low temperatures
are actually worse for compact dises than high
ones. Apparently, CDs have been known to
snap or crack when Кері in cold weather for
loo long. Heat, on the other hand, does not
seem lo affect them in the shart term; however,
the jury is МШ out on long-term damage, Our
adince: Gel yourself a handy carrying case
and cart the CDs with you. AS inconvenient as
it may seem, H's worth the effort if it will pro-
long the life of your collection.

My husband and 1 ly ready to
start a family. but I'm afraid I'm not go-
ing to be able то get preg
time we have sex, he саа
me. but when he pulls out. Im unable to
hold the semen. Is the ything we can
do to prevent this from. happening?—
Mrs. D. E, Detroit, Michigan

Relax. If your husband has a normal sperm
count, he'll release between 200.000.000 and
300,000,000 sperm т a single ejaculation.
And while not all of them will reach the final
destination, those little suckers are swift The
six-inch Dip throngh the vagina. cervix.
uterus and Fallopian lubes to the unfertilized
egg lakes as little as five minutes. The actual
fertilization takes longer. but once the sperm
are there, Шеу can survive for about eight
swith some inler-
course positions thal have proved more suc-
cessful in placing the sperm near the сетих
and keeping them there. The best, according to
some physicians, are rear-enlry positions (both
parte th the man facing the
woman's back, or both lying on their side, with
the man curled around the woman's back). To
help retain yonr husband's sperm, haze him
remove his penis immediately ajter ejaculation.
while it's still erect. Then lie on your hack with
your hips on a pillow for about 20 minutes
Timing is everything, though. so try to figure.
out when you're mast fertile, And must of all,
enjoy yourselves. Sex is never good when it be-
comes too clinical.

days. You also can experiment

Sex with my new boyfriend is fantastic,
but Im paranoid about AIDS and other
sexually transmitted diseases. | dont
nk he has anythi he has slept
with lots of wom mil we've been
together longer, l'd like to have
Trouble is, he use condoms.
He says he mig
1. but Fm on th

fe sex.

сло en-
condoms.
Help! шоп, Ohio.
Help is on the way. Gel hold of the terrific
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TH E P L A Y B O Y

FORUM

looking for vital signs in the bill of rights

When the framers of the Constitu-
Чоп finally approved that unprece-
dented document in 1787, they
thought their labors were done. But
there followed fierce resistance in the

ion. Some argued against its

because they were op-

posed to a strong Federal Govern-

ment with a broad power to tax. But
the majority of those reluc-
tant to approve the Constitu-
tion demanded that it also
contain a Bill of Rights to
protect individual liberties
against Government incursion.

James Madison, a principal
designer of the Constitution,
promised a powerful, unam-
biguous Bill of Rights that
“could satisly the public mind
that their liberties will be per-
petual.” And in 1789, during
the First Congress, he intro-
duced the boldest guaran-
tee of fundamental personal
rights yet known.

‘There would be free
speech, free press, free exer-
cise of religion, heavy restric-
tions on the power of the
police to search homes and
individuals, the right not to
be forced to tesufy against
oneself, no punishments with-
out due process of law, the
right to confront hostile wit-
nesses at a trial, the right to a
lawyer in a criminal prosecu-
tion and the outlawing of cruel and
unusual punishment.

Ratified by a sufficient number of
states on December 15, 1791. the ВИ
of Rights was incorporated into the
Constitution as the first ten amend-
ments. This bicentennial year of the
birth of what Madison called "the
great r
hailed with considerably less celebra-
tion than the festivities of 1987—the
200th anniversary of the C
itself. Then there were resounding
parades, stately processions of tall
ships in New York and other harbors
and exhortations to the children of
the land to drink deeply of the wis-

By NAT HENTOFF

dom of what was now the oldest Соп-
stitution in the entire world.

In 1991, however, while there have
been some wordy ceremonies in hon-
or of the Great Rights, as the first ten
amendments are sometimes known,
most of the populace is hardly aware
of this remarkable anniversary. But
then, it is doubtful whether most

Americans know what's in the Bill of

Rights, so swift and shallow are the
ways in which it is discussed in the na-
tion's schools. And that's why parts
of it are so frequently threatened by
the President, the Congress and state
legislatures: The Bill of Rights does
not have an informed constituency
among the very people it was de-
signed to protect.
Consider. the t
which Supreme Justice William
O. Douglas described as “a new and
bold experiment. It staked everyt
on unlimited public discussion. . . .
[It] set a new standard, and exalted
freedom of expression.”

Amendment,

Yet during the Gulf war, when the
Government shackled the press's free-
dom to describe and discuss what was
going on, no objections were raised by
the majority of the public. Indeed, it
seemed relieved to get its information
in the form of sugar-coated nuggets
from Government "briefers" rather
than having to sift through and mull

over information provided
by an independent press.
Michael Deaver who had
been President Reagan's
highly proficient press ma-
nipulator, said of the Gov-
ernment control of the press
during the Gulf war, “If you
were going to hire a public-
relations firm to do the
media relauons for an inter-
national event, it couldn't be
done any better than this is
being done."

Reporters in the field
could operate only in pools,
and if any of their dispatches
offended a high-ranking offi-
cial they were summarily
banished. During interviews
with the press, Servicemen
were carefully watched and
listened to by Pentagon pub-
lic-relations officers—hardly
encouragement of sponta-
neous, honest response. And
Dover Air Force Base in
Delaware, the country's larg-
est mortuary for Servicemen

killed overseas, was closed to those
members of the press reporting on
the return of the war dead. Such
reporting had been permiued in
previous years, yet this time, the Gov-
ernment felt that it could get away
with presenting the Gulf war as appar-
ently bloodless by keeping the return-
ing coffins out of the press's and, thus,
the public's eye. With this successful
precedent set for the Government's
undercutting of the First Amend-
ment, during the next armed conflict,
the independent press may become
even more superfluous.

So much for the “bold experi

Since writers are so const

оит Government, it should come аз no
surprise that, in this bicentennial year
of the Bill of Rights, readers are fet-
tered as well. The First Amendment
dealt directly with the expectations and
priorities of the framers in relation to
the individuals right to read or see
whatever he or she wanted to. It is im-
portant to note that at the time of the
American Revolution, only one of the
13 colonies had а law punishing ob-
scenity. (Massachusetts had a statute
against blasphemy—sacrilegious, not

secular, speech.) In 1791. freedom to
read was as

reedom to
of

mportant as
any of the fram.

ition had in
their libraries such decid-
edly erotic volumes as

John Cleland's Memoirs of a
Woman. of Pleasure, Ovid's
Art of Love and works by
Rabelais.

And as revered a figure
in American history as
Benjamin Franklin wrote
some essays that, under
present obscenity laws,
could have had him busted
and jailed. Among those
"obscene" works is "Advice
to а Young Man on the
Choice of a Mistress," in
which he observes that,
after putting a basket over
any woman's head, the
lower parts will be so
plump and inviting that "it
is impossible of two wom-
en to know an old one
from a young one."

So, as Justice Douglas
said, "The First Amend-
ment was the product of a
robust, not prudish, age."

Yet 200 years after the
ratification of the First
Amendment, some of oui
contemporary lawmakers
and enforcers—Federal, state and lo-
cal—have become so prudish ıhat not
only books but movies and recordings
and even exhibits at art museums ai
being censored under obscenity laws
There have been acquittals—2 Live
Crew and the museum director who ex-
hibited Robert Mapplethorpe photos
among them—but obscenity prosecu-
ins continue. Defense costs have be-
come so expensive that the news of a
prosecution in one place often leads to
self-censorship among institutions else-
where.

"The late Federal judge Jerome Frank
was one of the few members of the
Judicial branch alert to the dangers in-

herent in weakening the First Amend-
ment. He used to warn, "Some few men
stubbornly fight for the right to write or
publish or distribute books which the
great majority at the time consider
loathsome. If we jail those few, the com-
munity may appear to have suffered
nothing. The appearance is deceptive.
For the conviction and punishment of
these few writers [or film makers or mu-
sicians or singers or museum directors]
will terrify writers who are .. . less eager
for a fight. What, as a result, they do not
write might have been major literary
contributions. cele НИ
said, *i

E ——— ——

Write You Were AWAY

school boards are instructing children
on the majesty of the First Amendment
while succumbing to pressure to ban
"unfit" books from school libraries and
curriculums. A frequent target contin-
ues to be J. D. Salinger's Catcher in the
Rye. In Boron, California, the book was
attacked on the basis of its blasphe-
mous, not obscene, language: "It uses
the Lord's name in vain 200 times.
They say it describes reality. Let's go
backward. Let's go back to when we
didn't have an immoral society."

The thinkers and politicians of 1791,
whether more or less moral than today,
did feel that the privacy of the individ
al had to be protected
against the whims of pop-
ular morality.

Benjamin Franklin and.
the other framers of the
Constitution were so con-
cerned with the individu-
al's right to privacy that
they tied to ensure that
both contemporary and
future generations w

B eem

be free from arbitrary
and humiliating searches.
This concern gave rise to
the Fourth Amendment—
now the most endangered

RE TURNEO

too small to harbor men of |
How unfortunate it is to contempl
that now one of the busiest di
the Department of Ju the Child
Exploitation and Obscenity Sect
formerly the National Obscenity En-
forcement Unit that was founded in
1986 by then-Attorney General Edwin
Meese. This crew of imperial censors
keeps a stern watch on the morals of the
citizens and their elected officials in all
50 states. Their imperative: to protect
the citizenry from “lewd” books and
acts, as well as to proscribe the purvey-
ors of such turpitude whether or not we
the people want that protection.
In this atmosphere, schools

and

part of the generally en-
dangered Bill of Rights.

Before the Revolution,
British troops, under
the authority of general
search warrants, could
invade any dwelling. In
1772, the Massachusetts
Committee of Corre-
spondence—advocating
the independence of the
colonies—described Ше
without pi
our houses and even our
bedchambers аге ех-
posed to be ransacked
Our boxes, chests and
trunks broke open, ravaged and plun-
dered by wretches, whom no prudent
man would venture to employ even as
menial servants. ... By this we are cut
off from that domestic security which
renders the lives of the most unhappy
1 some measure agreeable.” Those
wretches” were British soldiers, who
were allowed under a general search
warrant to enter homes with the merest
suspicion of wrongdoing.

This history of unwarranted intru-
sion is why the Fourth Amendment is
the most precisely detailed and is con-
sidered by some the most important
part of the Bill of Rights. Listen to how
assuredly it begins: "The right of the

people to be secure in their persons,
houses, papers and effects, against
reasonable searches and seizures, shall
not be violated."

But what is ıhe definition of an
unreasonable search? First, says the
Fourth Amendment, a
warrant is
and “no War
issue, but upon proba
Dle cause [that cri
vis taking place],
ported by Oath or
n. and parti
ularly describing the
place to be searched,
and the persons or
things to be seized."
The Americans who
wrote the amendment
never wanted to occu
ру again the decidedly
inferior position. that
they had held as impo-
tent colonists. Quite
mply the Fourth
Amendment is in the Bill of Rights
specifically to prevent this country from
becoming a police state.

As law professor Anthony Amster-
dam says, “1 can think of few consti-
tutional issues more important than
defin the reach of the Fourth
Amendment—the extent to which
controls the array of activities of the
police.

A crucial weakening of this essential
protection of individual liberty and pri-
vacy took place in the first Supreme
Court case to deal with wire tapping
and the Fourth Amendment, Olmstead
vs. United States (1928). In a 5-4 de-
cision, the Court ruled that wire tap-
ping itutional, because the
police had made no physical entry in-
to the home of the bootlegger whose
phone had been tapped. In dissent
Justice Louis Brandeis emphasized that
the principle of the Fourth Amendment
applies to any Government violation

individual privacy—no maner by

warned Justice
"If the Government becomes
ker, it breeds contempt for

Taw.”
Brandeis was worried that the de-
cision would allow swiltly advancing

technologies—such as wire tapping—
to eflectively eviscerate the Fourth
Amendment in more than just spirit.
“The progress of science in furnishing,
the ( 1 with means of espi-
onage,” he said, “is not likely to stop
with wire tapping. Ways may someday
be developed by which the Govern-

ment, without removing papers from
secret drawers, can reproduce them in
court, and by which itwill be enabled to
expose to a jury the most intimate
occurrences of the home.”

And while technology hasn't pro-
gressed quite that far,
consider the implica-
tons of the .devices
called pen registers,
now available, which
allow police to find
out immediately what
phone numbers a pri-
vate citizen has
aled—a process that
has been declared con-
stitutional. Had this
been available to the
ЕВЕ at the time of
the Watergate break-in,
what chance would
Woodward and Bern-
stein have had of pro-
tecting their sources
and exposing the cor-
ruption in both the White House and
the Justice Department?

Bur the most devastating blows dealt
the Fourth Amendment have been
thrown in the name of the war on
drugs. which has mrned ont to Бе. for
all intents and purposes, the war on the
Bill of Rights. The Supreme Court has
upheld random searches of employ-
ees—without a warrant and without
probable cause—to discover use of
drugs. In frustration and indignation,
Fourth Amendment expert and Uni
versity of Michigan professor of law
Yale Kan
^How can the Court
uphold searches where
no warrant is required,
no probable cause re-
quired—not even any
level of suspicion is
required?”

The answer го how
this happens is rwo-

fold: First, the Consti-

¡ution's meaning is
what the Supreme
Court interprets it to

be, and since we have
a conservative. Court,
the Bill of Rights
receives little respect.
Second and perhaps
more frightening is
that most Americans have been c
vinced by successive conservative
Administrations that the
Amendment must be sacrificed in order
to win the war on drugs.
has noted in The New York Times that

Washington Pos/ABC News poll
showed that 52 percent of responder
were willing to have their houses
searched and 67 percent to have their
cars stopped and searched by police
without a warrant,

As Judge Learned Hand once said,
“Liberty lies in the hearts of men and
women; when it dies there, no Constitu-
tion, no law, no cour n save it.

The great sadness is that we are in
danger of creating a nation of children
who may not realize the rights they
have lost, who may believe they have no
ght to privacy from the police, In
Tazewell County, Ilinois, last yi all
eight high schools were subject to a
sudden mass drug raid one morning.
Teams of state police. sherill's dep-
uties, local police and drug-snifling
dogs blocked entrances 10 the schools
so that no one could enter or leave. The
students were held in classrooms, some
for as long as two hours. There had
been no prior indication of widespread.
drug dealing or drug possession in any
of the high schools.

One of the few people i
to express outrage
tempt for Fourth. Amendment
was Dave Simpson, publisher of the lo-
cal paper the Pekin Daily Times. But he

was just as disturbed by the lack of pub-
lic outrage. The Times reported. that
there was litle anger from the students
and that some even suggested to the
cops that a sweep of the lower schools

n the county

could be productive.

Hardly an auspicious prelude to a bi-
centennial celebrauon of the Bill ol
Rights. Because today,
as was the case 200
years ago, the liberties

wi
endure only as long as
the people know what
they are and have the
courage to remem-
ber what Madison said
go: “The cen-
sorial power is in the
people over ihe Gos
ernment, and not
the Government over
the people.”
At the

nd of the
Conven-
tion, Benjamin Frank-
lin was asked what had
come of the assembly. He replied.
А republic, if you can keep it." We've
shown we can keep the form of.
democratic republic, but its soul.
mee of personal
c danger.

SATANISM
I's good to sec that the aca-
demic commui
ing some attention to Satanism.
It's turning out to be a figment
of the overheated fundamental-
ination, promoted in-
ional peril by a few
crazies who have discovered
that they can make big bucks
writing and r g against it.
The American Sociological As-
sociation was treated to an in-
teresting paper by an Indiana
sociologist, Professor Anson
Shupe, who studies religious
sects. He investigated the nu-
merous reported cases that
were creating a state-wide Sa-
tanism scare and found them all
based on bullshit. A newspaper
article quotes him as finding
that “the state of Indiana has
never witnessed a single, pro-
fessionally documented case of
Satanic abuse, or а Satanic
crime successfully prosecuted in
a courtroom, or such a case ever
put on a court docket,” presum-
ably for lack of any real evi-
dence. One could conclude that
a few mental defectives have spiced up
their lives with the ultimate bogey-
man, until one remembers the destruc-
tion such people can wreak on the lives
of others, including their own children,
as in the case of the McMartin Pre-
School in California. The only differ-
ence between the Salem witch-hunters
of the 17th Century and today’s anti-
Satanists is 300 years.
John Richardson
San Francisco, California
Don't expect the light of reason to dispel
the hysteria. As long as the Justice Depart-
ment continues to hold seminars on Satanic
спте, the gullible populace will continue
with witch trials. In a newsletter from Cali-
formans Against Censorship Together, editor
Bobby Lilly took on the annual pep rally
cosponsored by the Bay Area Citizens
Against Pornography and the U.S. Depart-
ment of Justice. The conference, called.
"Protecting Children from Molesters,
Pornographers, Ritual Abuse and Cults,”
was сам like an Oprah Winfrey show from
hell. Alan Sears (of the Meese commission)
and Dr. Victor Cline (psychologist and self-
appointed porn expert) offered seemingly
credible stories of abuse
Lilly wrote, “Somehow, | do not believe
that a balanced point of view will be present-

FOR THE RECORD

WAS IT REAL
FOR YOU, TOO?

“The reason so many women fake orgasms is
that so many men fake foreplay.”
—DR. TERRY TAFOYA, A NATIVE AMERICAN SHAMAN

AND PSYCHOL(

ed. . ... But the conference, with its stamp of
authority from the Justice Department, will
legitimate the unfounded charges that these
practices ате endemic, а serious threat to so-
ciety, and must be stopped at all costs to “pro-

teci the children.” Lilly suggested writing to
your Senator and Representative to ask how
the Government can waste money on such
Маат propaganda.

LET'S MAKE A DEAL

The University of Virginia drug bust
earlier this year presented several situa-
ions bordering on criminal insanity.
The raid on and subsequent seizure of
the three fraternity houses under inves-
tigation made the Feds and local au-
thorities look like bullies. As more
heinous acts were being carried out on
the streets, these tough guys went after
local frat boys on charges of drug
trafficking. The crime is that their real
motivation was not the level of illegal
activity so much as the lucrative booty
they stood to gain in seizing the
$1,000,000 worth of real estate.

What this asset-scizure approach rep-
resents is a misuse of the RICO statute,
designed to cripple the activities of or-
ganized crime, including major drug
cartels. Maybe the parameters are di

inia, but a few
лапа do not à

ferent in V
ounces of ma
cartel make.
What smacks of foul play in
this whole thing is the seizure of
property belonging to an ab-
sentee landlord—the alumni
associ n. That real estate was
not the property of the young
men occupying the buildings.
For the authorities (o seize
property belonging to the inno-
cent and the distant is un-
American and turns police into
bounty hunters. А danger exists
in the "welfare effect” this kind
of action has on law-enforce-
ment agencies. As the coffers of
the FBI, the DEA and related
offices are fattened from pr
erty seizures, these agencies will
find themselves increasingly
more dependent on the illeg:
activities they want to elimi
nate. Busts will be made based
оп what the authorities stand to
gain. This kind of remunerative
law and order blurs the distine-
tion between the good guys and
the bogeymen, with justice go-
ing to the highest bidder-
Sean Finister
Chicago, Illinois

PATERNITY

I think that Jeffrey М. Leving
("Reader Response." The Playboy Forum,
June) is hinting at the larger men’s-
rights issue, rather than focusing on
abortion. Your editorial comment is
certainly true: Abortion. must be the
choice of the woman alone. She's preg-
nant, he's not.

However it isn't true that sex
something that men do to women after
chasing them down. Pregnancy hap-
pens as a result of an act that men and
women do for the pleasure that they
both receive. Men don't get women
pregnant; men and women together
create a pregnancy, so their commi
s should be concurrent. И an ir
jous tryst binds a man to the
obligation of pat then it ought to
bind women to maternity simultane-
ly. It shouldn't be а matter of one
partner holding the bailout option ex-
clusive of the other. Where abortion is
legal, paternity suits are unjust.

David W. Sims
Stevenson, Alabama

R ES

IRRELEVANT RIGHTS

The recent controversy sp:
Brown University's expulsion of an in-
ebriated student for shouting
antihomosexual epithets has elicited
some pecu nd dangerously mis-
taken—response

In the words of opponents, university
president Vartan Gregorian's decision
"violates both the letter and the spir
of the First Amendment” and “runs
counter to the purpose of the Bill of
Rights: to protect individual freedom.”

But does Brown's action really violate
the Constitution? Clearly, the found-
ing fathers intended to prohi
of censorship by the Government
Brown is a private institution. As such,
št has the right to set its own rules and
standards for voluntary association; the
Constitution is simply not relevant
to the debate

The thinking expressed by these
opponents parallels the fallacious but
familiar cries that anyone denied a plat-
form by a newspaper, magazine, televi-
sion program or theater is a victim of
censorship whose Gonstitutional rights
have been violated.

I we are truly in favor of free speech,
les not blur the distinction between
Government and private action, or fog
our understanding of what the Consti-
tution means.

t acts

Don Hauptman
New York, New York
The Bill of Rights protects the right of the
individual from Government abuse. It as-
sumes that the people know, respect and
practice these rights in every other sector of
their lives. If schools disdain free expression,
it is only а matter of time before a nation of
graduates does the same

EQUAL TIME

1 can't speak for the rightwing cra-
zies, but as a woman, I am offended by
the one-sidedness of the nudity in erot-
ica and mainstream movies (“Sex Is
€ — That's Why Censors Can't Stand
The Playboy Forum, May). The gratu-
itous nudity, and the often degrading
positions the fen s find
themselves in, makes for a very male
oriented viewing experience. “Erot
invites the viewer to get in touch with
his far id desires,” says Klein
His fantasies, exactly. None of this stuff
is meant for те. So, maybe if film mak-
ers would lighten up on the exclusively
female nudity, we women would lighten

ies

PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH

PLAYBOY PHILOSOPHY

of the presbyterian church (1991)

“Our search . . . is to put sex in
proper perspective, so that we not
make too little or too much of it.
We seek to give sexuality its due, as
q good gift from a gracious God,
and to welcome this aspect of our
humanity with joy, reverence, in-
sight and responsibility."

“A Christian ethic of sexuality is
needed that honors but does not
restrict sexual activity to marriage
alone, nor blesses all sexual ac-
tivity within marriage as morally
acceptable. (Sexual violence and
coercion, within or outside mar-
riage, are wrong.) God's intention
for us as sexual persons lies not on-
ly in procreation but, even more
fundamentally, in loving compan-
ionship. . . .

“It no longer makes sense to
grant uncritical religious and moral
legitimation to heterosexuality and
heterosexual relations simply be-
cause they are heterosexual. Simi-
larly, it is wrong to condemn
nonmorital sexual activity as unac-
ceptable simply because it falls out-
side a . . . formal, institutional
arrangement."

°
“Condor requires us to admit,
among other things, that many of
our conventional categaries far
naming normal from abnormal
sex, as well as right fram wrong re-
lation, are no langer helpful. These
labels too often distort rather than
disclose what is most important
ond valuable about sexuality. For
example, what matters ethically is
not the sameness (or the differ-
ence) of the gender of persons in
relotion but, rather, the
quality and character of
their relationship. Not

who we are but how we are with
each other is ethically significant.”
°

"In order to reclaim moral credi-
bility, the church must reverse the
pervasive fear of sex and passion
so noticeable among ‘respectable’
church people. This feor gnaws at
our communal psyches and souls
and has come perilously close to
Killing off both love of life and pas-
sion for justice. On the one hand,
the church must stop discouraging
sensuous touch and respectful sex-
val expression between genvinely
consenting adults. On the other
hand, the church should start en-
couraging responsible, loving and
justice-bearing sexual relations
wherever they occur.

“Rather than inquiring whether
sexual activity is premarital, mari-
tal or postmarital, we should be
asking whether the relation is re-
sponsible, the dynamics genvinely
mutual and the loving full of joyful
caring... .

“Single persons, whether single
by choice or by circumstance, fully
possess the right to be sexual. Per-
sons are sexual, interested in and
fully capable of intimacy and right
relatedness whether they are en-
gaging in genital sex or not. More-
aver, all persons have a right to
caring, respectful tauch if they so
choose. The church can help us ex-
plore the meaning of that right, as
well as advocate the importance of
self-lave and self-care, along with
care of others.”

The repart, after selling more
than 25,000 copies,
wos shouted down by a
534-31 vote.

up, too. Men aren't the only ones who
want to see a little Гапа A.

Rena Hecht

New York, New York

GUN CONTROL

Tighter gun-control legislation has
been making headlines in the past six
months. These measures are not only
an infringement on the rights of taw-
abiding citizens but a complete waste
of taxpayers’ money and Congress’
time. Consider the following:

It's already illegal for felons to own
firearms. How redundant must the
law be? There are thousands of
firearm laws on the books now. Many

е a new market and, of course, а
new agency—the GEA.

New York and Los Angeles both
have extremely tough handgun re-
strictions, yet they continue to lead
the nation in violent crimes, especial-
ly murder.

End plea bargaining, which is a bar-
gain only for the accused. The answer
isn't more laws but, rather, enforce-
ment of those we have.

David Kveragas
€ s Summit, Pennsylvania

THE NAME GAME
It is irresponsible journalism 10
publish the name of a rape suspect

A Breast. By Анү Orurn МАМЕ.

Milsou, one of Conado's top female singers, mode а hot music video feoluring
glimpses of female breosts ond mole butiocks. The response? Dis-Moi, Dis-Moi (Tell
Me, Tell Me) wos bonned from Quebec's English-longuage MuchMusic video sto-
lion. The video went stroight lo number one on the city's French-lenguage stotion,
MusiquePlus. The irony: The same compony owns both stations. The morol: И you
think hot thoughts in English, it’s o sin. If you think hot thoughts in French, it’s ort.

are either unenforced or open to а de-
fendant’s plea of a lesser charge, usu-
ally пог а felony. And what about the
potential psychopath with a clean rec-
ord—the “nice neighbor” scenario?
Even if denied a weapon through
legal means, a determined person can
easily obtain one on the street. No pa-
perwork, no questions and a discount
price, too. I the Government is un-
able to slow, let alone halt, the influx
of illegal drugs, what's to stop illegal
weapons on a massive scale? Sounds

while withholding the name of the al-
leged victim. In the United States, you
are innocent until proven guilty, Rape
has become, however, the one crime
in which an accusation is sufficient
cause to wantonly label the accused
for life. This is the case whether he is

judged guilty or proven innocent.

The argument some feminists use is
that disclosing the name of an alleged
rape victim will humiliate her or
brand her with an unwelcome stigma.

Why is there no reciprocal concem for
the accused in this regard? This sexist
double standard is appalling. Society
has unfortunately developed а witch-
hunt/Red-hunt mentality toward rape
accusations. Such knee-jerk prevarica-
tions have promoted behavior that is
hateful and vindictive without cause
It is apparent that the media are not
interested in exercising their free-
speech privileges on a level field. An
extremely frightening precedent, if
you stop to think about it
Robert J. Correia
Braintree, Massachusetts
We have stopped to think about it and
we agree; The accused are left standing on
very shaky ground т an unjust and mtol-
erant climate (see Asa Baber's "Men" col-
итп in this issue).

POSTCARDS FROM HOME
In the June issue, The Playboy Forum
features a set of activist postcards that
can be mailed to protest censorship.
Where can a set of those cards be pur-
chased?
Dean Watson
Huntington Beach, California
The Postcard Activists “Ban Censor-
ship” series is available for $4.95 from
People for the American Way, 2000 M
Street, N.W., Washington, D.C. 20036.
These and series for abortion rights and
handgun control are also available in most
bookstores. If your bookseller doesn't carry
the postcards, insist that they be added to
the inventory. Bul why wait? Sit down and
write a letter on your own letterhead.

TOO BEAUTIFUL FOR YOU
Your article on sexual harassment
("The War on Nudity, Part One," The
Playboy Forum, July) pinpoints the
frustration felt by many men who now
have to contend with yet another
source of stress and ambivalence in
an Ala-
gs when
ual-harassment
claim on the grounds that the plaintiff
5 not pretty enough to be sexually
harassed. The judge further allowed
the attractive appearance of the de-
fendant’s wife to be entered as evi-
dence against the claim. It would
seem that the over-all climate toward
suits claiming sexual harassment is an
inhospitable one. Maybe those femi-
nine sensibilities won't be so sensitive
after all.
Owen Robert
Memphis, Tennessee

М E W

S F R

O N T

what's happening in the sexual and social arenas

SURE CURES

SYRACUSE, NEW YORK—4 doctor con-
vinced a 21-year-old Fordham University
coed that she had contracted herpes but
that it could be treated with a secret vac-

сте. He claimed that the vaccine, effective
only if administered under rigid clinical
conditions, called for injection through а
penis—preferably his own. When the stu-
dent reported the incident, the doctor lost
his license and settled out of court.

TORONTO—A doctor was cleared of sex-
ual impropriety for using an innovative
“pelvic bonding" technique to treat а wom-
anis insomnia and emotional problems that
he attributed to childhood traumas. The
patient claims that the doctor dropped his
trousers and told her to press her face into
has groin area, like a child does afier run-
ming to a parent. The physician was
cleared of the charges because the woman
was inconsistent on dates and details and
had returned for further treatment.

MANDATORY MOTHERHOOD

Anti-abortionasts are gradually succeed-
ing in their campaign to make motherhood
mandatory. The Alan Guttmacher Insti-
tute and the National Abortion Federation
report that abortion services are increas-
ingly hard to obtain, especially іп rural
areas, and are not available at ail in the
83 percent of the nation’s counties that in-
dude nearly one third of childbearing
women. According to the institute, the

number of hospitals and clinics permitting
abortions declined 11 percent between
1982 and 1988 to 2582, the over-all
abortion rate dropped six percent to 29 per
1000 women and fewer physicians are per-
forming abortions due to fear of harass-
ment, social pressure and lack of training.

QUICK FIX

DAYTONA BEACH—A Florida appellate
court decided two to one to uphold the na-
tion's first conviction of a woman charged
with delivering cocaine to her newborn
baby while the umbilical cord was still at-
tached, The ruling approved the prosecu-
tion’s strategy of charging mothers under
state laws orginally designed to punish the
transmission of drugs to minors. The dis-
senting judge argued that the intent of the
legislature was to treat addiction in preg-
nant women as а health problem rather
than as a criminal offense.

THE 70-YEAR ITCH

CANBERRA—The Australian govern-
ment riled the Catholic Church by propos-
ing that residents of nursing homes be
accorded the same basic human rights they
would enjoy at home, including the right to
nonmarial sex. One Roman Catholic or-
der threatened lo close six nursing facilities
if “sexual revolutionaries” in the Health
Services Ministry gave elderly Australians
“the ‘right’ to indulge in adultery, fornica-
tion or sodomy in our homes.”

DONT POINT THAT THING

A 25-year-old California man who had
sex afler testing positive for HIV has been
jailed on four counts of assault with a
deadly weapon. Police claim that the sus-
pect, while previously in jail on a burglary
conviction, threatened to “take all the
women with him that he can." They arrest-
ed him on a tip that he was in a motel room
with a woman who said she had had inter-
course with hım four times.

Authorities say he may be charged with a
fifth count for allegedly throwing blood
‘from a self-inflicted wound at a cellmate.

In Што, a 21-year-old pregnant
prostitute who knew she had AIDS has
been charged with attempted transmission
of the HIV virus to an undercover police
officer and is being quarantined at à pub-
йс health facility.

In Toronto, а 33-year-old Canadian di-
agnosed with the HIV virus is appealing а
temporary judicial order barring him from
having sex.

CHILDREN OF THE NIGHT

SAN DIEGO—A California appellate
court ruled that parents are not responsible
for civil damages arising from the consen-
sual sexual acts of their children. Dedin-
ing to equate intercourse with juvenile
delinquency, vandalism and malicious
mischief, for which California parents can
be held liable, the three-judge panel said it
was “not melined to dwell on the outdated.
legal fictions concerning the ability of un-
derage females to consent to sex.”

AnaNTA—Under a city ordinance
passed in 1990, Atlanta parents face up to
60 days in jail and $1000 in fines if their
children repeatedly violate the city's curfew
Enforcement has been limited and the law
is being challenged by civil-liberties
groups, but officials in other Southern
cities like the idea and have been calling
the Atlanta city council for details.

SEX IN HIGH PLACES

ISTANBUL—A Turkish health authority
is warning citizens of the latest identified
sex risk. Housetop lovemaking during the

summer months kills nearly a dozen people
a year and injures many more when par-
ticipants fall asleep afterward and roll off
the roof

Шашын ARE YOU A mmm

CHILD PORNOGRAPHER?

the war against nudity comes home

Can the ЕВ1 raid your home on ac-
count of те books you own? Can the
police shut down a library or museum
or research institute because it con-
tains publications the state rules im-
permissible?

As of November 29, 1990, when
George Bush signed the Comprehen-
sive Crime Act, the answer to those
questions is yes. Buried in that legisla-
tion is a clause making it a felony to
knowingly possess three or more
books, magazines, videos or other
matters that visually
depict persons young-
er than 18
in sexually explicit
conduct . . . real
or simulat-
ed.” The
maxi-
mum sen-
tence for

iolators
© years in
prison and a
$250,000 fine.

On the face of it,
the bill seems a us
ful weapon in the cru-
sade against the sexual
abuse of children. The
logic behind the law is

nple: If you can't stop
the creation of the image
(the actual abuse), penal-

By BILL ANDRIETTE

ages that no one could possibly view
as harmful to society or to children.
Тһе new law broadens the definition
of sexually explicit conduct to include
“lascivious exhibitions of the genitals
or pubic areas." In other words, it now

s that simple child nudity may be
illegal. It allows for no distinction be-
tween the sweaty collection of а per-
vert or pederast and the coffee-table
art of a responsible parent. If your
family album contains pictures of your
newborn having his or her diaper

‘The law tries to establish malicious
intent where none may exist. If the lo-
cal Fotomat turns over your family
photos to the FBI, and upon search-
ing your house, agents uncover a
bootleg video of Bernardo Bertoluc-
сто 1900 (which includes a scene of a
boy masturbating), your interest
Marxist cinema puts you in jeopardy
If further searching uncovers a collec-
tion of old Penthouse magazines, in-
cluding the September 1984 issu
with then-underage model Traci
Lords posing naked,
you could go to jail.
Under the law, your

family photos, 1900
and an issue of.
Penthouse
become
the three
necessary
items for
conviction.
Antiporn
crusaders in
and out of the
Government
avow zero toler-
ance of child nudity.

(It is noteworthy that
the Justice Depar
ment tried to make pos-
session of a single
image a felony) Last
year, Dennis Barrie, the

ze the demand (the ma
ket for images of the
abuse) But since the
Government began a concerted cam-
paign in 1977, the already-limited
market for child pornography has vi
tually dried up: About the only people
still selling pictures of children and
adolescents having sex are Federal
law-enforcement agents conducting
sting operations. In some cases, the
agents succeeded in finding evidence
of ongoing sexual abuse—trophy
shots of victims—and under the new
law, possession of those photographs
is as serious a crime as actual abuse.
But in their zeal to discover new
child pornographers, the Feds have
now also criminalized a range of im-

changed, taking his or her first bath
or lying nude on a bearskin rug, you
can be sent to jail.

The determination of lascivious
conduct, the courts have ruled, de-
pends on such subjective subtleties as
the camera angle (does it showcase
the genitals?), the position of the legs
(are they parted?), the expression on
the face (is there a seductive glint
the eye?) the style of attire (is it
provocative?) or even the setting (is it
а bedroom?). With such vague crite-
ria, prosecutors can—and do—make
the case that practically any photo of a
naked minor is pornographic

director of the Cinc
nati Contemporary Arts
Center, was prosecuted
for showing Robert Mapplethorpe's

а nudes, among other works. And
in April 1990, internationally known
photographer Јоск Sturges, who took
pictures of families at nude beaches,
ictimized by a raid in San

cisco. In both cases, the models с
forward and said that the photos de-
picted innocent. behavior. Evident
artistic value or moral innocence of-
fers no insurance against hysteria.

Bill Andriette is features editor of The
Guide, a Boston-based gay magazine.

SCORESBY SCOTCH

IS IT ME
OR MY
SCORESBY?

Few THINGS IN LIFE
ARE As TEMPTING AS THE
PREMIUM Marr TASTE Or SCORESBY SCOTCH. N

TASTE THE TEMPTATION |

DRINK RIGHT. DRINK SMART. BE RESPONSIBLE.
red i les by Foreign Vintages, Lake Success, NYG1991.

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when he says, 'Hey, check out my

new CD player’ I look down and all I see is the radio. I'm

like, 1 don't get it That's when he pulls out the remote.

So now I’m thinking, ‘Whoa, don't tell me he's got a ТУ
in this starship, too: Turns out it's the controller for the
CD. He had hooked the whole thing up so the CD system
worked right through a frequency on his regular ЕМ

radio, with a 6-disc CD changer

tucked away in the trunk. Cool”

Pioneer 6 Disc CD Changers can be added to any car or truck with an FM radio. or by instaling PENTa] eeir]
a tuner/cassette/CD controller in the dash. And, the 6-disc CD magazine is compatible with the
Pioneer 6-Disc CD Changer for home. To receive more information please call 1-800-421-1603. The Art of Entertainment

Reporter's Notebook

CLEAN UP YOUR ACT, TED

or give up the throne. a moral leader can't

hustle at singles joints or close bar:

nedy got into
Last time. | called up one of his occa
sional ladyfriends to ask how he and ih
younger heirs to the throne could have
been so dumb as to put themselves into
such а sappy setup. “It's mot just that
they think with their cocks and drink
much 100 much," she said. “They believe
they're royalty. and c
anything.”

You cannot spend five minutes around
the Kennedys, almost any of them, male
g or old, without sensing
they were raised as royalty. But it is also
that sustained exposure reveals
uncertain and twisted lineage. This is
post-Prohibition, rum-running: nonvean
royally that assumes the perks. expects
the deference and relies c
ly endless ret
ers to cover the gaffes. What we have her
is not spin control but noblesse oblige; the
toom image of red-faced. pully shanty-
inks allowed to think they can
pop more than a few and if shit happens,
someone else will clean up the mess.

How else to
gone on belore and with so much ol
what's left of decent social pol
on his shoulders—Ted Kennedy's Бе
in that club at that hour? Nephew or no
nephew, mnocent as the Senator may be,
and even if one accepts the New York
Times character assassination of the key
female witness, he should have learned
by now not to close any bars.

1 have watched this guy in the we
daylight for years, and he c
During long hours of tough interviewing,
he knows what he is talking about, cares
about the victims of social inequity and is
s in doing something about
‚I had only he:
ton in the nonworking
night, People close to him whom I re-
ch as former speechwriters
Schrum and Frank Mankiewicz—
either didnt know or chose to dismiss all
the stories I had heard

“IF vou work for a living, if you're
black, if you care about women's rights, if
you care about whether the plant closes
down without notice.” Mankiewicz said,
“Kennedy is your guy by a wide margin

а hard-working, socially со
scious guy like that is entitled to blow off
a little steam once in a while.

» getaway with

or female, хо

kir

spected—
Robe

opinion By ROBERT SCHEER

T want to believe that and,
believed it through 30 у
Kennedy watching. During th
Ted has been the most product
progressive of the brothers, w
harder and more effectively
John or Bobby did on the bu
Government. In the last Congress alone,
54 of the bills that he pushed through
bor and Human R
which he
tive ace

have

the powerful L.

sources Ci
beeame law, H

tee,
legi

men
support, civil ri
capped and

As the Democ
ity on the Judiciary Committee, he ha
than anyone else to slow
-Bush deci

done mor:

tion of jud

E s not just that tl
his brothers, has a superb stall
of the best and the br
bask in the glow of a Kennedy. He may
have lousy grammar and fumble like
mad in impromptu television appeal

Kennedy, like

htest, са

aces, but I know wing
grilled him for dozens of hours on a
range of issues over the years, that the

nd he's smart
htened,

guy does his ho
He's a lot more зе
when he's sober and working. than was
Bobby Kennedy, who is now red
Twas the last journalist to inter-
view Bobby, and the n who lelt his
room that night at the Ambassador Hotel
in Los Angeles, saying he would be right
back after he thanked the crowd for his
primary victory, had grown enormously,
but he was still intellectually skittish and
given to faddish causes. Yes, he was great
at the end, battling Lyndon Johnson on
Vietnam and championing Latinos and
farm workers. But Bobby, who started his
al life working for the infamous
Joe McCarthy and presided over
some nasty smear investigations of his
own, never did understand civil liberties,
Not so Teddy, who may be the Senate's
strongest defender of the First Amend-
ment. He also has spent 28 years in the
Senate mastering the most intricate, dull
details of legislation on health, educati
and social justice.

Nor is he wilder 1
spectable siblings wer

n icon

an his more
Hell, his older

brothers hung around with unsavory
ch ters and more than a few wom-
en angry at them. They got away with it
least in their lifetime. because the me-
back then were more tolerant. Or
maybe his brothers could just hold their
liquor bett

But that's the point. Kennedy's sloppy
drinking has made a mockery of his
ided com ment. The man of
the night has done in the knight of the
d in the process, he has grafted а
spect onto all the good works and
causes. A moral slob c.
of a progressive franc
compassion for the vulnerable
cially handicapped.

Enough already. T
probably the best Senator we have had in
the past 20 years, should publicly join
AA. as his ex-wite has done, or get out
of politics, precisely because the image
he projects subverts the programs for
which he has worked. How can he claim
to be so concerned about the well-being
of the litle people and wander into so
y situations where little people get
taken advantage of?

Don't give me the excuse that Willi
Safire shamefully offered in The New York
Times: that a 30-something girl in a bar
like that who goes home with a man is
trouble. A US. Senator wh
8 been in this kind of situation too
ny times has a responsibility to illus-
палео himself and to bis son, to his
nephew and t0 the woman in question—
what's decent as opposed to whats ugly.

Appearances are important il you pre-
sent yourself as a leader of а virtuous
cause. Pushing 60. Kennedy is just too
old to be hustling at singles bars, and
maybe he should just ask his ex-wife 10
take him back, even if is a marriage of
convenience. Forget bimbos: Joan
Kennedy is an earnest, interesting and
mature woman, and Teddy should get
down on his knees and beg for another
chance. And he should keep a Breath:
lyzer in his briefcase ar all times. Like
Joan, he may fall off the wagon occasio
ally, but hell be admi g he's a com-
moner and is trying. Thats not too much
ко expect from a liberal role model.

sobei

u daims
nd so-

ddy Kennedy,

Finally

INTRODUCING

Tracer is the first razor with a blade that flexes. It traces every curve
on your face, to put more blade edge against your skin.

PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: L. DOUGLAS WILDER

a candid conversation with Ihe nation's fi

irst elected black

governor about politics, race, crime and his bid for the presidency

Hes handsome, gregarious, тий and.
charming—the perfect. Southern gentleman.
He's also а natty dresser, a skilled decorator
fond of antique furnishings, а man of impec-
cable laste with a bachelor's eve for beautiful
women. Yet for all his courtliness, he’s known
as a tightwad governor, a shrewd tactician
and a ruthless political mfightez, and he has
been accused of being secretive, vindictive and
given to troubling lapses in judgment. As the
Just elected black governor in American histo-
ту, Democrat Lawrence Douglas Wilder ој
Virginia is, finally, a risk taker: Having
served less than two years in his state's highest
office, he is already eying the United States
Presidency.

Ii a year af Democratic hesitation and de-
Jeatism, Wilder, 60, is an improbable candi-
date. Last spring, when most Democratic
heavyweights were conspicuously avoiding the
1992 race, Wilder was stumping the country
with his message of fiscal restraint and budget
slashing. Hardly known outside Virginia
when he was elected governor іп 1989,
Wilder waited only a few weeks before thrust-
ing himself onto the national stage by taking
on some ој his рапух 900-pound gorillus—
especially the presumptive front runner, New
York governor Maria Cuomo.

One of the most startling aspects of Wilder's
candidacy is that he is trying to run more as a
conservative than as a liberal. On economic

“If you really want to take on the Republicans,
take on the issue of waste in Government. Is
anybody talking about how much money
they've spending? No. Why? Because Wash-
ington is nol going to criticize Washington.”

and budgetary issues, he is defying all con
tion by galloping to the right of President
Bush. [tis a stunning strategy, but one with
precedent: John E. Kennedy's 1960 Presiden-
tial campuign spollighted Republican softness
on defense by inventing a so-called missile
gap. Wilder is also taking а lea] from the cam-
pugn books of Jimmy Carter and Ronald
Reagan: He's runnmg against Washington,
сотратте that America has a new tiwo
party system—one pariy inside the nation’s
capital and another outside.

Wilder started reshaping his formerly liber-
al image m the early Eighties while contem-
plating his history-making race to become the
Just black lieutenant. governor of Virginia.
Following the country’s conservative drift, he
began defying the stereotype of a liberal mi-
norily-group member always pleading Jor
more government programs and special Ireat-
ment. He then warmed conservative hearts by
changmg his position on the death penalty
and by opposing numerous taxes. While he
broke with the right by supporting the enroll-
ment of women at Virginia Miliary Institute,
he outraged civil libertarians by speaking out
in Javor of drug testing on college campuses

Wilder likes to offset his fiscal conservatism
with what he calls “social compassion.” He
has excoriated President Bush's opposition to
the recent civil rights acts, which the President
labeled “quota bills” but which Wilder, aloug

“эри have D winstill family values. Look at

the sports programs on tel
ple saying, “Hi, Mom! They've not saying illo
their Jathers. Many of them don't know their
fathers, There's no excuse for it”

sion. You see peo-

with other Democrats, calls тете affirmative
action. He has warned both Republicans and
Democrats against backsliding on civil rights
during what he calls “very, very tense times.”

Wilder has also upset the racial apple cart.
Less а black politician than a politician who
happens to be black, Wilder is nonetheless seen
by many Democrats as the heaven-sent solu-
tion to the partys “Jesse Jackson problem"—
an unthicatening figure who implicitly plays
“the good black” to Jackson's unsettling fire
breather. Increasingly frustrated by ther im-
ability to assemble a workable Presidential
voting coaliion, and keenly aware that race is
the great dividing force in. American polities
today, Democrats hope that Wilder—a mild-
mannered, fairskinned African American
with relentlessly middle-class valu
help bridge the chasm.

The differences between Wilder and Jackson
are stark. While Jackson continues to be the
presumplive heir to the political legacy of Dr.
Martin Luther King, Jr, Wilder has resisted
the preach-and-march approach. Only а
fringe activist in the civil rights movement,
Wilder spent the Sixties building his career as
а lawyer. While Jackson was leading demon.
strations, Wilder was promoting equality by
forcing his way into the exclusive, all-white
club of top trial lawyers im Richmond.

After entering polities in 1969 as Virginia
first black state senator, Wilder became the

сан

PHOTOGRAPHY BY RANDY OROURKE
“Not since the day breath was breathed into my
boy have | been afraid to stand up to people
But whenever I speak up, people say, You's
had it now, boy. That's. your end. Yor
finished. You've burned your bridges now.

PLAYBOY

ultimate inside-the-system politician, rising
steadily through the Virginia legislature and
Lieutenant governorship to his elif hanger
election (he won by a margin of less than one
half of one percent) as governor in 1989. In
his campaigns, he showed extraordinary polit-
ical acumen by neutralizing the issues of race
and liberalism. When he van for lieutenant
governor, he accused his opponent of using the
word liberal as a code for black, thereby boxing
his opponent in as а racist if he tried lo at-
tack Wilder's progressive legislative record. In
1989, while running for governor, Wilder
defied conventional wisdom by speaking ош in
favor of fice choice on abortion, keeping his
adamantly pro-life Republican opponent des-
perately on the defensive. The ploy paid off:
Wilder won his election by garnering 53 per-
cent of the female vote, capturing only 47 per-
сеш of the male vote. While Wilder's deft
political sleight of hand has often overshad-
owed his performance in the offices he has
sought, many believe his run for the Presi-
dency will require his most adroit political
maneuvers,

L. Douglas Wilder was born in 1931 in the
poor, black Church Hill section of Rich-
mond—a neighborhood only three miles from
the governors current office atop lush, leafy
Capitol Hill. One of eight children of a stern,
churchgoing insurance-company employee
Wilder grew up in what his family later de-
scribed as the "gentle poverty" of the segregal-
ed South, Bul his strict family lived by clear
rules and expectations—hence, his emphasis
today on traditional values.

Wilder was not a great student, bul he was
bright: His classmates were impressed by his
uncanny ability lo memorize passages fiom po-
etry and plays—a talent he still possesses lo-
day. (In this interview, Wilder casually recites
а passage [vom Shakespeare's “Julius Caesar”
almost verbatim.) Ош of school, Wilder was
just as crafty. Не painted signs and washed
windows to earn money, sometimes using am-
monia. on business windows because it would
remove the leltering fiom the glass, thereby en-
suring а new sign-painting assignment. He
also sold a local black newspaper and was so
successful that he won a coveted trip to Wash-
ington, D.C.

As a student at Virginia Стон Universi-
ty—the local black college Wilder's career
was more distinguished by partying than by
studying. In 1952, he joined the Army to meet
his military obligation, was sent lo Korea and
returned home an unsung war hero with a
Bronze Star. After a shaky мап al Howard
University Law School. Wilder discovered.
good work habits aud went on to become one of
Richmond's most successful—and. sometimes
mast sensational—trial lawyers. By the time
he gave up practicing law for full-time politics
in 1984, he owned more than $1,000,000
worth of personal and investment property in
Richmond, a commodious house in a mostly
white neighborhood and two Mercedes-Benz
cars. Td say that 1 could afford the basics of
lije without а great deal of difficulty," he admits.

Yet Wilder's storybook rise [vom poverty and
social exclusion to wealth and high office was
marred by some episodes he would rather for

gel. Asa lawyer, he gained a vepulation for not
only challenging the rules ој discrimination
hut also orcasionally neglecting Ihe standards
ој legal practice. He was twice sued for mal-
practice and, in 1978, was dealt a vare rep-
rimand by the Virginia. supreme court for
“unprofessional conduet” because of "unex-
cused, unreasonable and inordinate procrasli~
nation” in a 1966 automobile-accident case
In the early Eighties, Wilder was involved in
а battle with Church Hill residents who ac-
cused him of failing to properly maintain a
boarded-up row house he had bought as an
investment. property—even as he was cam-
poigniug [or better housing and stricter land-
lord tenant laws.

But perhaps Ihe most serious charge against.
Wilder is the suggestion of violence in his te-
lationship with his former wife, Eunice, who
divorced him in 1978. Her divorce petition
alleged "cruelty and reasonable apprehension
of bodily harm,” but the divorce records have
been sealed and Wilder will not discuss them
in detail. A newsman at a Richmond radio
майт, WEVA, once reported inewing the
documents before they were sealed and findin
allegations of spouse abuse. The Mvo-Amer-
ican, Richmond's leading black newspaper

"When I ran for
lieutenant governor,
people said, ‘Oh, he
Just wants to gel his

name out there.”

also reported in 1976 that court papers al-
leged that Wilder had physically abused his
wife. Today, Eunice Wilder declines to diseuss
the allegations.

Wilder is also uncomfortable about dis
cussing his social life ах Virginia's most
eligible bachelor, especially his reported rela-
tionship with Patricia Kluge, the recently di
orted wife of billionaire John. Kluge. The
Virginia press has accused Wilder of using
state aircraft to socialize with Patricia, which
he denies, even though he reimbursed the state
$6300 for “personal travel.” Finally, Wilder
continues to perk media interest with his on-
going explosive relationship with Virginia
Senator Charles Robb, another Democratic
Presidential hopeful who has been damaged by
allegations of personal peccadilloes while he
served as governor of Virginia. Last June, the
Wilder Robb feud burst onto the ont pages
when Robb admitted to having possessed for
two and a half years —a surrepittiousy taped
telephone conversation in which Wilder told a
financial backer, “Robb is finished.” As
Playboy wend lo press, the discord between the
deo men, despite a scheduled peace poasea
showed little sign of abating.

Ta talk with the sometimes vague, often con-

Iroversial, always intriguing governor of Vir-
gina, Playboy sent Washington journalist
Peter Ross Range, whose previous “Playboy
Interview” subjects have included. former
United Nations ambassador. Andrew Young
and Chrysler boss Lee lacacea. Here is his re-
роп:

A medium-sized man with a mane of snowy
hair and а mellifluous baritone voice, Wilder
moves around the hushed governor's suite as
though he has always worked there, With its
silk-covered chairs, gonging old clocks and
prominent paintings of Jefferson and Wash-
ington, the place gives off an aura of tradition
reaching back to the origins of the republic
Wilder fus himself easily into that atmosphere
by declaring, Lam a son of Virginia.”

“The governor is a genial host and a forth

coming interview subject. He is at his best as a
raconteur, remembering events [rom his youth
as a segregated black or his soldiering days in
Korea. He ако speaks convincingly on civil
rights issues and the racial tensions in the
conntry. He is less coherent when it comes
1 outlining policies or a fundamental politi-
cal visim. Here his conversation slides into
easy clichés, or what is known locally as
“Wilderese, a stream of grammatical inver
sions that can leave his interlocutor seralching
lus head.
Even as Wilder was devoting more energy
to his Presidential bid—and denying doing
any such thing—we talked often aud. al
length. We flew together in the state jet to AL
bany, New York, where he shmoosed briefly
with archrival Mario Cuomo, then we contin
ued our conversation on Ihe midnight flighl
back to Richmond. We met in the elegant gu
ernors mansion, where the filness-couscious
Wilder has installed weight-lifting equipment
only а few yards from his antique four-poster
bed. We traveled around Richmond and
Washington in his new stretch limo and twice
shared the 33-minute vide in his official Bell
helicopter between the Боо cities,

"But most of the lime, we met in the gover-
nors small corner office, where Wilder keeps
portraits of Patrick Henry and the antislavery
Jounding father. George Mason, on the walls
That's where 1 first asked him about his Presi-
dential ambitions.”

PLAYBOY: You have a record of defyir
the odds, of taking the long shot. You did
пот 1985 and 1989, when many believed
Virginia was not ready for а black man in
its highest office, Now you seem to be try-
ing to do it again. [s the country ready
Tor a black President. or are you just try-
ing to get one losing campaign out of the
way so you can run again in 19967

WILDER: Running to lose is contr
anything Гуе ever known, so I dont buy
that. People thought that’s what L was go-
ing to do when Eran for lic i gov-
ernor. They said, "Oh, he just wants to
get his name out th
PLAYBOY: А lot ol people think v
strategy isto get the Democra
for Vice Last w

min

President. iter, ve

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PLAYBOY

made a speech in Albany. New York, with
Governor Mario Cuomo in the audience,
You pointed out that between 1800 and
1824, three Presidents— |ellerson. Madi-
son and Monroe—came from. Virginia
and their Vice-Presidents were all from
New York State. Ye “Some have
suggested that perhaps its time to return
the favor." Does that mean you'd like ro
be the Vice-Presidential candidate on a
ticket with Cuomo?
WILDER: I was once asked if 1 thought I
1 the qualities to be sidem. I said
To answer otherwise would be the
nost negative assessment E could give ol
myself. But if someone asks, “Does that
nean you'd serve as Vice-President?” |
ау, ^ "t deal with the hypotheu-
"I refer you to the George Bush sce
io. In 1980, three weeks prior to
being asked to run for Vice-President by
Ronald Reagan, Bush said, in ellcct, “1
would not serve as Vice-President; I have
no intention of serving as Vice-President
Three weeks later, he said, “Thank you so
ch, Mr. President, Lam so proud to be
ус e-President.
PLAYBOY; You still haven't answered our
question. Would you like to be Vice-

said.

yes.

ou €

WILDER: TÍ someone would think enough
of me to ask, I would obviously have to
give it more than casual consideration.
PLAYBOY: Do vou think you and Mario
Cuomo would add up to à winning ticket?
WILDER: I can see Cuomo with somebody
on the ucket who would reach into cer-
tain geographic and demographic areas.
1 would bring geography and some
demographics, but I would have to be
better known. Exery time you go some-
where—every time you speak and get
some national e helps.
PLAYBOY: There has been a lot of specu-
kaion that President Bush might pick
General Colin. Powell as his 1992 Vice
Presidential running mate. Would that
put pressure on the Democrats to put a
black person on their tickei—and would
that be your dream scenario?
WILDER: That will never happen, so it's
ist a hypothetical question. But Powell
nd I are friends. He doesn't consider
himself that political.
PLAYBOY: Still, the Presidents irre:
and thyroid condition
raised serious questions about his cl
of Dan Quayle as a running mate.
Doesn't that change the equ
WILDER: ft doesnt change anything—
Quayle will be on the ticket, But there's
no question that the Quayle factor is
. Selecting Quayle has brought into
question the Presidents jud
п. The American

ment in

people will have to consider his judg-
ment and then call into question his
judgment on other things. I think the ju-
ry's still out on this.

PLAYBOY: Getting back to a possible Cuo-
mo-Wilder ticket, how would the public
respond to such a pairing?

WILDER: It wouldn't be the most impracti-
cal ticket around. But vou ve got to look
at perceptions. 1 could easily be per
ceived asa liberal—and they already per-
ceive Cuomo as a liberal.
PLAYBOY: You're not a liberal?
WILDER: | don't think so. Um a progres-
sive And practi
PLAYBOY: But because you re black.
WILDER: À black Democrat.
PLAYBOY: You think people take it for
granted that you're a liberal?
WILDER: Yes. But I don't really think
bels mean anything. Wha
What is a conservative?
PLAYBOY: What is а progressive?
WILDER: А person who is not hidebound
he past, someone who is interested
moving ahead and not afraid то chal
lenge new thinking and new ideas,
PLAYBOY: That's a fairly stock
What is the actual percept
want people to have of you?
WILDER; That Г moved my state ahead
tight and | red us to
benefit fro ad in the ec
m That 1
showed compassion and fiscal responsi-
bility
PLAYBOY: Your call for fiscal responsibi
ty seems aimed at destroying your liberal
image. You паз bı
and ‘resisting ases, despit
e's bwo-point-two-billion-dollar short-
all. You've also been mocking Bush for
backing off his “No new taxes” pledge.
WILDER: Bush didn't mean it—and he had
no record showing that he knew how to
cut spending. Well, we mean it. We've
streamlined and cut. programs and
fused to raise taxes. And I didn't even
y. "Read my lips.
PLAYBOY: Still, during your twenty-one-
year career, you've gone from being the
firebrand state. senator who supported
liberal causes to Ше new darling of the
conservatives, Are you rewriting your
record?
WILDER: | don't go out to set my record
straight in that regard. E just go out to
speak on issues. T want to be a player on
the national scene, participate in the
tional debate. Yet a lot of people would
love for me to have a liberal in
black banker I know of said, "I dont
know about Wilder, 1 dont know that
he's doi at he can to help black
bankers." Some people say, "Because he's
black, there are certain things he should
just automatically do."
© drawn a lot of attention
Al political circles
a public letters—ino to
one to your own party
chief, Democratic National Committee
chairman. Ron. Brown. What
beef with Brown?
WILDER: Ron Brown said that the Demo-
cratic Party should endorse the budget
compromise that came our of the White
House last fall. My question to him was
merely, "Who gave you the right 10 put

%-
is a liberal?

times and struct

эң w

with outspokt
Bush and a er

was your

the Democratic Party on record in favor
of а back-room tax de We were on
record saying we would not support any
cuts in the capital-gains taxes.

PLAYBOY: 51111. taking on your own party
chairman like that ——

WILDER: | wasn’t taking on my own party
ch in. | was merely asserting a role of
leadership as a Democ
PLAYBOY: But you seem to be dissociating
yourself from the rest of the Democ

ven ¡e people

"look less

sugg
nored

т
black." You're cle:
up to the party leaders!
WILDER:
breathed into my body h;
1O stand up to people. But whenever 1
speak up, people say, "You've had it now,
boy. 4 end. You re finished. [t's
over ned your bridges now.”
PLAYBOY: Haye you? Are you intentional-
ly distancing yourself. from liberals—
even blacks- at
metamorphosis?
WILDER: П has nothing th a meta-
morphosis. Listen, if | can't say these
things at this stage of my development.
when can I? Is important for us to let
the leadership know that the ра
Washington doesn't run everythin
that the party outside Washington Das
got to be consulted, too.

PLAYBOY: When you refer to the party
side Washington, do you mean the entire
political establishment?

WILDER: I'm nor talking about Republi-
cans and. Democrats. Fm talking about
that party that has conducted business as
usual for so long and doesnt care what
the people outside Wash
PLAYBOY: So you're rumi
Washington. Thar has a familiar ring—
something like Jimmy Carters 1976
Presidential campaign.

WILDER: I just know the people think they
аге not being consulted. Гуе always be-
lieved the people were far ahead of the
leaders.
PLAYBOY: А!

that you
rly not afraid to stand
you?

Not since the day breath was

e [been afraid.

аз part of your conse

id what about your letters to

Bush? The first one criticized the Gov-
nments handling of the savings-and-
loan crisis—a fair but casy target. In the

second one, you passionately denounced
Bush's veto of the Civil Rights Act of
1990, which he said dated r hir-
quotas. You faulted him for lack ol
oral leadership.

WILDER: I'm convinced that the President
knows that the Civil Rights Acı was not a
quota bill; he could ha guage

ve put la

into it that would discount referring to
quotas and called it an alfirmative-action
bill, That bill is twenty: years old now. You
had almost two thirds of the Congress

saying. “We want this.” The override of
the veto failed by only one vote

Moral leadership mi
tized to the fact that wha
country is good for all se

ns being sensi
s good for th
sments of the

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PLAYBOY

people. In the absence of that, we're ii
very, very tense times. Our tolerance
threshold is very low. People have lost
hope. For instance, for the White House
to ask leaders of the Business Roundtable
not to meet with civil rights advocates
маза cruel hoax.

PLAYBOY: Do yo
will use the
they used Willie Hi
election?

wiper: No—it goes deeper than thy
tom was a ploy to win in 1988
ore pernicious and treacher-
s. When you stop business |
from negotiating [with civil rights a
cates], it's callous and cruel.
PLAYBOY: How do you distinguish be-
tween affirmative action and quotas?
WILDER: Quotas mean that you are imer-
ested in X number of persons” be
en an opportunity to perform at pl
Affirmative action means anybody has
opportunity to apply for work at place A
and be employed notwithstanding what
they look like. Affirmative action doesn’t
say, "Look, we want to hold this door
for N ber to come in.” No,
ald that door open for anyone w
15 tO come through. And until this
is opened up. Bush has an obliga-
io show leadership—to show that we
ne people with diverse backgrounds.
PLAYBOY: Ai what point should people's
merits and. qualifications be considered

think the Republicans
a issue in 1999 the same
өп in the 1988

lers
dvo-

for their employment?
WILDER: Without merit, they shouldn't be
employed. Ви you've got to take

chance with someone. The people [of
Virginia] took a chance with me and that
showed what could be done.
PLAYBOY: In onc of your leners 10 Bush.
you also took hi
10 what you called the
tics” of Хо Carolina. Sen
Helms in his 1990 re-election c
Du that campaign. Helms’ TV ads
accused his opponent, Harvey Ga
black Democrat, of g
quotas and the state GOP sent ou
that were denounced
intimidatc black voters.
WILDER: What rcally bothered me was the
Presidents refusal to condemn the ac-
tions of his party in sending out those i
timidation letters. When he was asked if
he the 1 he'd
have to think about it. But this is a simple
q Mas it right or wrong:
no place for neutr
l question.
There needs to be moral leadership.
When Harry Ir т was President, he
took his sword and cut the Gordian knot
of the [segregated] military. Не
ed the Armed Forces just like that, wi
Executive order. Wha
Nothing. Dwight Eisenhower said,
Um sending in the Federal troops [to
Little Rock, Arkansas, in 1957] and these
kids are going to school.” Leadership
came from the top.

advocat:

scare tactic to

ht it was wrong, he sa

stion

There's
lity when faced with a

mor

was the r

Presi-
you

If vou were to run for
. whom would you conside
toughest Democratic competition?
WILDER: Cuomo has to be considered the
front runner. He's got a four-million-dol-
lar fund. That already puts him way
ahead of everybody else.

PLAYBOY: What ab
candidates? Let's h

other. potential

Bentsen is running. He's been sort of laid
k and hasn't been in it too much. But
ran a good campaign for Vie
in 1988, didn’t make too many peo-
ple mad. think he could be a contende

L think Tennessee Senator /
House Majority Leader Dick Geph
e running, [Senate Majority Leader
George Mitchell made a good speech in
response to the President's State of the
Union address; I could support him, too.
And Nebr
has popular appcal—he's young. good-

looking. a Vietnam veteran. Here's a
man who gave up a leg in Vietnam, yet he
voted against the Gulf war. He wouldn't

ave his war credentials attacked at all.
He's a patriot.

PLAYBOY: So whom do you like?

WILDER: Well, Gephardt’s been around
rack one time and that makes a great
of dillerence. From what I'm told,
for President is altogether dif-
ferent from anything else you've done.
So he's got that going for him. He's also
got high visibility in his leadership posi-
tion in Congress.

PLAYBOY: What do you think of him as a
politici
WILDER: Sometimes his true message
doesn't get out; then, when he furthe
explains it, it makes more sense. ГИ give
you an illustration. He was interested in
seeing some balance in wade with the
Japanese.

PLAYBOY: Proicctionism.

WILDER: Well. he didn't call it that, so it
came out as Japan bashing. Bur if you lis-
tened to him—listened to what he really
meant—it wasn't Japan bashing at all
PLAYBOY: 15 hc the man to beat Bush
WILDER: He's got the instincts to do it. He
goes for the jugular. And he's got i
Stamina

PLAYBOY; What about Al Gore?

WILDER: I think 92 would perhaps be bet-
ter for him than 96, because he's going
to be running for the Senate in "96. And
ht years after that—well, he

| hc waits cig
won't be young fc
PLAYBOY: The
Democratic

ver.
est entrant. into the
race was Paul Tsongas, the
former U.S. Senator [rom Massachusetts.
Tsongas is a lot li mer liber-
ing himsell as a probusiness
1 the Democratic
What do you

you—a fc

center.
think of him?

WILDER: Ler's not beat around the bush:
y from Massachusetts and being de-
seribed as a liberal De is some
thing that he has to overcome. He's been

pera

away from the political scene lor a while,
and that hurts.
PLAYBOY: What about Bill Clinton. the
governor of Arkansas
WILDER: Clinton's а bright voung man
who could easily be considered. I could
support him, too. But he's chairman of
the [conservative] Democratic Leader-
ship Council, and they have to be careful
how they are perceived by minorities.
women and African. Americans. B is a

very, very touchy situation. Bill once said
something like. I want to get these peo-
ple off the streets and into jobs

My response was, "God. man. vou

. In Arkansas,
ate of unemployment? Are

ought nor ever say th:
whars the
ing everybody there who's noi
ne'er-dowell? No.
Then who are vou

you

working is a bum,
you don't mean that.
talking about
If you really want to &
publicans, take on the
Government, Is anybody out th
ing about that. about how much money
they're spending in Washington? Хо
Why? Because Washingte m

ke on the Re
sue of waste in

v talk-

же

is nd

to criticize Washington.
PLAYBOY: Of course, the larger question
is, Can any Democrat beat George Bush?

The President hit a peak ninen-or
cent approval rating with his handli
Saddam and the Persian Gulf war.
WILDER: He's not invincible. 1 remind
people of Winston Churchill in 1945. He
won the war and lost the election, Bush is
popular now, but 1 say the record is still
out on him.

PLAYBOY: How so?

WILDER: He's vulnerable on domestic
programs—we have no domes nda
There's no health plan. There's no com-
mitment to reduce waste in spending.
The President has no approach to fighi
ing crime and drugs. There's nothing at
all relating to our infrasiructural needs.
Homelessness is an increasing problem.
We need to fight AIDS. a growing epi-
demic. There's no domestic policy rela-
tive to education, We
energy policy; if we did, we obviously
be as concerned as we are about
some of the things in the Middle East
PLAYBOY: That's the full list of Democrat
ic complaints about the Bush Ac
tration. Still, that doesn't seem
voters who arc giving Bush great ratings.
WILDER: The American people arent
quite as dumb as а lor of people think
they they know that their standard of
living hasn't improved. Se Danicl
Patrick Moynihan recently said that in-
come is less today than it was in 1973.
We're raping the Soc
We need to put as much concentration

с per-
of

dont have an

would.

l Security system.

on the quality of life of Americans as we
do for other people. It doesn't make
sense arc nation.

military people coming home are going
to want to know why they can't get jobs.
Why isn't that a priority?
PLAYBOY: What can the

to be а second Our

Democrats. do

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PLAYBOY

about thatz
WILDER: Reorder our. priorities. Do not
spend money that we don't have. И we
could do it in Virginia, we can do it na-
tionally. The Wall Street Journal said that if
ample were followed at the
national level, it would save the Federal
Government seventy-two billion dollars.
PLAYBOY: There vou go again—a seli-
vowed progressive taking comfort from
the editorial page of the conservative
Wall Street Journal. When you say you
wouldn't spend money you didn't have,
does that mean you want a balanced-
budget amendment to the Constitution?
WILDER: There's already a law on the
books that says you have to b;
budget, but nobody any at
to it. Bush hasn't sent down a b:
budget since he's been President. We
out of control fiscally.

PLAYBOY: Let's get back to your political
identity. Although vo the highest
ranking black elected official in the coun-
try, Jesse Jackson is better known. How
do you distinguish yoursell from him?
WILDER: The big ad
m not a political activist. Jesse is per

ince the
ШЕП

pays

need

est difference is t

haps the foremost political activist of our

time. I've been office holder for twen-
ty-one years, and in that regard, I am
called upon to make compromises—to

take the half loaf when T сите get the
whole one
PLAYBOY: Political pundits say that you're
a godsend to the Democrats, because you
solve their “Jesse Jackson problem.” How
do you feel about that?
WILDER: | don't know what that means.
Does it mean that we are to be at
cach other's throats? No. Does it mean
that they'd prefer to support me over
Jackson for President? We don't know
that, either:

Jackson and 1 have talked about this a
couple of nd he feels that i
this is an attempt to have us go at
other: The bottom line is that there wont
be this run on the Democratic bank,
whether Pm on the ticket or not. Jackson
supported the candidates in 1988 only
was questioned whether his s
was timid or w That's
I answered. your questions as
andidares E could sup-
If they were the nominees of the
party, Td support them all.

nes,

р;
m or real.

Did Jackson give you any hint
bout whether or not he might run for
WILDER: No. He merely indicated that we

ought to get together and chat, and I told
nd chat."
l. itated a lot
of people and scared some voters—par-
ticularly Jews—with his reference to Jews
as Hymies and New York as Hymietown.
By doing that, did he hurt the image of
black people in ıhis countryz
WILDER: 1 don think it hurt black peo
L think it hurt Jesse in terms of his
sition to lead people, [think

he has apologized for that statement
over and over and over.

PLAYBOY: Even more offensive to some
people was his reluctance to distance
himself trom Louis Farrakhan, the lead-
er of the Nation of Islam who once called
Judaism a "dirty religion" and reported-
ly said Hitler was a great man.

WILDER: But Farrakhan has distanced
himself from Jackson in certain regards.
PLAYBOY: What about you? Have you dis-
tanced yourself from Farrakhan?

WILDER: Oh, I don't distance myself fron
anybody. Hs just that I don't embrace
peoples philosophies simply because
they say th
PLAYBOY: But do you or don't you dis-
tance yourself from Farr
Semitic and antiwhite commenis?
Jbviously
ever I say positive
speaks for itself. Those who speak ant
thetically to that would be distancing
themselves from my comments. So it’s
nota question of my going out of my way
10 say

Look, if E believe in pluralism, if 1 Бе
lieve in the. dignity of individuals not-
withstanding race or color, if I have
political life of not dwelling on race, and
sceking to unite and bring people to-
gether. .

People who think otherwise and speak
otherwise and do otherwise are distanc-
y themselves from that philosophy. So
Snot a question of dealing with person
ities. I don't speak to person.
speak to issues.

PLAYBOY: Why not, if the personality is
outrageous enough?

WILDER: Doesn't matter; Гус already ма
ed my position
PLAYBOY: Do you realize that part of thi
answer was a classic Wilder dod
WILDER: Not really

PLAYBOY: If wc were to stop the tape

by my own comm

ns,
y in and of itself

recorder and play it back to you, we
would hear what we've heard throughout
this interview

WILDER: Good Lord.

PLAYBOY: Wed hear whole paragraphs
that come out not meaning anything—

don't mean good, йог n bad, doi
mean anything

WILDER: |Laughs] Wilderese!

PLAYBOY: They don't add up to complete
sentences. You said something about an-
tithetical to tha rary to this, but
there wasn't a single clear thought about
F ıkhan.
WILDER: Well, let n

and cc

tell you how Tusual-

ly answer that. I was in Los Angeles
speaking to group, and they asked me

Farrakhan. Í said, "H
position on housing?” They said no. 1
said, “Transportation?” They said no. 1
“The environment?” They said no.
Finally, I said, “What, then?” id,
Just him as a person.” n
important.
PLAYBOY: But we asked you about his po.
sition on whites and Jews—r

what I felt about F

said,
They 5
“That

1 said,

cism and

anti-Semitism.

WILDER: All right. I told you that | believe
in the worth of the individual.
history of not being anti-Semitic. Гус
taken that view, and if s e else takes
iew opposing it, l'm not dist
myself from him. Гус stated my position
I have not dodged the question at all.
PLAYBOY: V
an issue

хе stated your position on
But you
know that politics is made up of me
than issues; it’s made up of personalities
WILDER: Right

PLAYBOY: And il someone takes positions
that seriously rile a certain portion of the

such as unti-Semitisn

clectorate, people will want io know
where you stand on hi
WILDER: My views would diler. And Гус

stated the points of difference
PLAYBOY: Is there anybody you've de-
nounced for politically outrageous posi-
ions?

Duke, the former Ru Klux Klan leader
running for governor of Louisiana?
WILDER: Phe same way. Duke has said he’s
а reformed man. Не said certain things
when he was a Klansman: now he's saying
other things. He's changed his views
And my point is, What dillerence does it
make? If he is going to be representative
view that’s antithetical to mine, then
I will continue to push for what E believe
in. He can do what he will. Arguing with
him doesn't make a point
PLAYBOY: But in your earlic
you showed that you do have a threshold
of tolerance—with Senator Jesse Не
WILDER: What have I ever said about him?
PLAYBOY: You said that he did things thar
the President should have condemned
WILDER: That's exactly right

PLAYBOY: So you do condemn what he
did during his camps
WILDER: Yes!
PLAYBOY: OK. Then do you condemn
what David Duke has
WILDER: Yes!
PLAYBOY: ОК.
Louis Farrakl
WILDER: Ves!
PLAYBOY: Now we're getting somewhere
WILDER: But 1 have already done that by
stating the positive aspects of it
PLAYBOY: How do vou feel about the
nenclature of race? Is the expression
African American important to you?
WILDER: No; when I describe myself, it is
only as an American, I 1 got up in the
g Û was a particular kind
of Americana different American 1
couldn't make As a matter of fact, it
took me some time to get accustomed to
black.

PLAYBOY: As opposed to whi
WILDER: Negro.

PLAYBOY: That term didn't bother you?
WILDER: No, it did't. I think the biggest
thing that bothered people about that
term was the failure of people to say

comments

do vou condemn. what

in has said?

You always come back to the basics:
Dm

PLAYBOY

Negro and, instead, go off and say nig-
ger.

PLAYBOY: Were you often
told, “Get out of the way.
things like that?

WILDER: | rarely encountered that kind of
raw racism.

PLAYBOY: Then what kind did y:
ence?

WILDER: The kind that I call the gentility of
racism—the invisible ma
saw you. It wasn't a que
of the way.” because that meant they ha
to acknowledge that you existed. They'd
walk right
“Oops, what was th:
waiter at the John Marsha
sc. they'd tell jokes a
the room.
Did being fair-skinned help
ou win the governorship in а state that
is more than eighty percent white
WILDER: I don't think it was a factor, and I
really don't think it's tor with black
people in America today. 11 grow-
ing black middle class th: based on
what it rcally should be based оп: wca

alled th
nigger” or

expe

When I was a
1 Hotel during
ad stories as if T

1 the former cap
prove that race is no long
politics?

WILDER: It proves that it can be overcome.
And the be: 10 overcome it is to ig-
nore it,
PLAYBOY: What about the state of race re-
у > With the
Bensonhurst killing, the Central Park
jogger assault-and-rape case and the
Rodney King beating by Los Angeles po-
lice, аге relations between blacks and
whites worse today than they were in the
days of leg; tion?

WILDER: Oh, no. I don't think they're
worse. Lots of the legal barriers have
been broken down. Look at the number
of opportunities we have now. You can
find any number of young blacks and

young whites who get along well, who
have the opportunity to hz -
chang, g black and white profes-

sionals are cooperating at levels that I
never knew, My son, for instance,
volved in groups and with people with
whom I would've loved to be involved.
PLAYBOY: But what about thc problems of
the so-called underclass? More than sixty
percent of black children are now being
а to unwed mothers; entire commu-
nities аге being decimated by drugs;
young people are randomly killing one
other.

WILDER: Young black n
crisis proportions; we've had a total
breakdown in values. But that didn't
is à result of race. Black men must
ss responsibil their
progeny. How do you get them to do it?
irst of all, by encouraging black women
not to become involved with people who
dont think enough of them to care for
them or their progeny. »still values,
you teach values. You do it through the

in-

ales risk in

come

y for

me moi

home, the church, community groups.
You do it through Big Brothers, Big Sis-
ters. You do it however you can.
PLAYBOY: We could close our eyes right
now, and il you didn't have a Tidewater
accent, we would hear Ronald Re;
talking about restoring family values.
WILDER: The dillerence between Ronald
Reagan and me on this subject is that he
says he never even knew racism existed
when he was coming up. But I say you
can't use racism as а cruteh—th:
excuse to abrogate your responsibility
You have to reinstill family values. Look
the sports progr levision. You
see people saying, “H
not saying it to their
them don't know their fathers—their
thers have not been there. Thi
сизе for it,

But you can't blame all of this on
1 can see the difference in the eyes of n
nority youngsters who come into this
office, when they are told, “Listen, you
can be whatever you want.” They say, “1
want to be governor." Well, why not?
Some of them even say, "I want to be
President." Why not?
PLAYBOY: But how do you convince the
cighteen-year-old kid on the gh
Street corncr—who can make morc mon-
ey in a month of dealing drugs than in a
year of bricklaying—that he ought to
give you his gum and go get a job?
у ло that eighteen-year-
We have opportunities for you to be
ined, for you to get a job. If you want
to be trained, fine. But if you don't, we're
not going to spend all of our time wailing
not going to let you poison
ation of youngsters com

ing up."

PLAYBOY: Guns have prolife
ghettos to alarming proportions. Do you
favor handgun-control legislation?
WILDER: My view of gun control is that
you should do whatever you can to keep
weapons out of the hands of people wht
shouldn't have them. But you've got to be
very careful not to contravene what so
consider their constitutional right to bear
arms. You shouldn't render people de
lenseless. When you consider il
mal today, especially in inner
things have to be balanced.
PLAYBOY: But thc evidence shows that the
mere presence of handguns, even in the
hands of good people, actually causes
morc trouble than it prevents.
WILDER: As I said, it's à thin line to walk.
PLAYBOY: Do you think that by owning a
pistol. people are safe [rom criminals?
WILDER: No, but many people feel that
they are—merchants in stores, for in-
nce. People also feel that if they have
gun in their home and someone comes
in, they won't h
ГИ give you
mine once said he didn't believe i
ing weapons. I had seve
told him. е, Грам
that.” But then, опе da

cities,

own-
al weapons, bu
no problem with
y, he called me

and said someone had been scratching at
his lock the night before. He wanted to
borrow one of my weapons. I said, "No, |
can't let you have one.” He got mad. He's
a very good friend, but I still didn't lend
t to him.

PLAYBOY: How many weapons did you
have?

WILDER: І had about three.

PLAYBOY: Do you have weapons in your
house right now?

WILDER: Yes

PLAYBOY: At your private home or in the
governor's mansion?
WILDER: Both

PLAYBOY: What do you have:
WILDER: I think I have а nine-
Luger type at the mansion.
PLAYBOY: Why do you have it there?
WILDER: [ts à good weapon.

PLAYBOY: Do you keep it beside your bed?
WILDER: No, Í keep it in the little office
next to the bedroom. | have security
sonnel] at the ma

llimeter

you've wound up

all, didn't you once say were so

you
turned oll by political speeches that

you'd neve 10 politics?
WILDER: Yeah. That was when I was a w
er at the Јона Marshall Hotel. During
the speeches, the waiters didn't have to
stay in the room. But I was a college sur
dent, so I would always listen to the
speeches from the balcony. I learned that
people will say one thing pc
then do another thing. Thars when 1
said to myself, Don't be а politician, Бе
cause you'd have to lie. lt convinced те
that I would never go into politics.
PLAYBOY: But you're a politician
You've crossed ov
WILDER: Not really. You don't have to
be duplicitous and humiliate yourself for
every voie. When you're elected, you
should do what you were elected for, and
not worry about re-election.

PLAYBOY; That doesn't sound like а шап
who has come so lar in politics.

WILDER: On the contrary. H you. look
back, everything you've read about me
will show Гус eschewed the so-called со
ventional wisdom.
PLAYBOY; Wc haven't r
you didn’t at least thi
electi
WILDER: My look what hap-
pened while Í was licutenant governor! 1
was apostate as lar as my own administra-
Чоп was concerned, 1 apposed the sales
tax and dared to criticize the governor's
ion plan as not being p

now,

d anywhere il
bout the ne

sper

ly funded. 1 opposed contact visits for
prisoners on death row. 1 said these
gs publicly. | w team playe

PLAYBOY: Still, thi
among Virginia politic

is а perception
s and reporters

that you think of nothing else but your
political future
wiper: Thats because people 1

charted my course for me rather ı
listened ко me. Because I spoke out as

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PLAYBOY

lieutenant. governor, thi
that a certain small but very influent
group of persons might find it difficult to
na ad support me politically]
the future.

PLAYBOY: You're referring to your long-
standing feud with U.S. Senator Charles
Robb, the former Virginia governor who
has been your chief political rival since
the Eighties. It has recently been discov-
ered that for rwo and a half years, he pos-
sessed a tape recording of a telephone
conversation that took place between you
nd а supporter in 1988. On the tape,
you said, "Robb is finished"
been reduced to nothing"—
newspaper reports
nd an extramaı
was governor.

WILDER: The tape, quite frankly, was
speaking toward what w red and
printed all over Virginia me. It

was

idis

would have said.
PLAYBOY: How did you feel when you
learned your phone call had been taped?

WILDER: Shocked and in disbelief. 1 felt
like a victim of a crime.

PLAYBOY: Are you saying that Senator
Robb committed a crime?

WILDER: | don't know who was involved.
PLAYBOY: Senator Robb apparently had
nothing to do with the tapping of your
phone; he reportedly received the tape
from an anonymous source. Yet the Rich-
mond Times-Dispatch calls this. madent
“Robb's Watergate.” Do you agree?
WILDER: I wouldn't want to assess it. ГИ
leave it to those who determine the facts.
PLAYBOY: Your comments on the tape
suggest that there is no love lost between
you and Robb. How would you feel if this
incident led to his political demise?

I don't choose to comment on

PLAYBOY: This feud wei

public back in

1986, when Robb released to the press

two leuers he had writen to you. In
them, he accused you of dastardly polit
cal deeds, including disloyalty and “lack
of veracity.” Whats the Robb-Wilder
feud all about?

WILDER: There is no feud. What have Lev-
er done? Гус never said one word about
Robb. 1 even offered to support him for
President in 1988, but he wasn’t interest
ed. So here's a man who writes letters
about me—and Гус never written any
letters about him. So there isn't any feud.
The Hathelds and the McCoys shot at
each other. I've not shot at Robb.

PLAYBOY: Then why thesc scorching let-
Robb openly upbraids you for being
in phone conversations

tel
‘evasive

nd for
" Не
ked you for picking fights with
him and making "allegations" that "sim-
ply aren't true.” This is incendiary stuff.
WILDER: [Holds up letter] Look at that—
one letter is six pages, another one is
three pages! [Reads aloud] “Lam not talk-

а lack of.

ing about disagreements on policy mat-
ters or on individual issues where honest
differences ought to be raised and dis-
cussed. . . . What I am talking about are
deliberate distortions and untruths, and
the blind-siding of allies, withou
ing to resolve differences first.
PLAYBOY: He's calling you a li
WILDER: Precisely.

PLAYBOY: How do you feel about tha
WILDER: Whenever you defend a nega-
ive, you give hostages to your enemy.
PLAYBOY: Hostages?

WILDER: Yeah. How can you prove a neg-
ative? What I did with that was ignore it.
PLAYBOY: In one letter, written on his
governor’s stationery, Robb suggested
that some “mutual friends" might with-
hold future political support from you.
WILDER: Yeah. You sec the language
there? A “small but influential group”
may not come back to help me again. 1
never responded. However, [it suggests
that if] I change my ways, I might get
some of them back. Who knows?
PLAYBOY: How did you feel about that?
WILDER: | felt it was as patronizing as
could be—politically. But it did not sur

"There's no such thing as
hardball in politics. IUs
Just like the American and
Nalional leagues in

baseball—all of it’s hard.”

prise me at all. I'd never Над any such
letter written to me by anybody. I would
think that if Robb had to do it again, he
would never have written those lette
But they didn't hurt me. They thought
my camp .. That's what
they thought in 1989, too. But we won
both times.

PLAYBOY: It would be

ser y showed ibat you NA e
the man who first had it in mind to run
for President.

WILDER: It might reflect that, but it
might reflect that people of Virgi
didn’t agree [with Robb]. They felt that I
should be their governor. That's the bit-
tersweet irony.

PLAYBOY: We would think it was sweet
ithout any bitterness.

WILDER: Well, it depends on who's
the gold.

PLAYBOY: Is that a pleasant feeling for
ou? After all, Robb has been touted as a
national figure, yet you're already more
Clive and more talked about nationally
than he is.

WILDER: You're right. That's

n accurate

conjecture.
PLAYBOY: Clearly. during your c
you've learned to play a

reer,

ball in politics. The whole game is ha
ball. Irs just like the American
National leagues in baseball—all of it's

to have tough
skin. It's no place to cry, it's no place to
deal in emotion. You have to be practical;
you speak when it's ry. And you
never threaten anyone in politics. They
ay you should never pull out a pistol un-
til you want to use it—and the same ap
plies to politics. Why pull it out unles:
you're going to pull the trigger? Most
people don't have the nerve to pull the
trigge
PLAYBOY: So you're
don't-get-mad-get-cv
WILDER: Get smart first
doesn't benefit you
PLAYBOY: Well, what is your philosophy of
how to play the political game? What is
polit
WILDER: Somebody once said polities is
money. | thought about it and he's right
It's money. In just about everyd
relative to politics, money i involved.
Health, education, environment, penal
institutions, quality of life.
PLAYBOY: But that’s the definition of
government policy. What about politics
in and of itself?
WILDER: It's the art of the possible.
PLAYBOY: Still. what's possible these days
is severely limited by your state's budget
crisis and the national recession. With
these economic conditions, isn't it a hor-
rible time to be governor?
WILDER: No, I love it! It's the perfect time
10 be governor. You can take the scalpel
ош and cut where you need to сш. Ig-
ore the pain. People will grumble and
gripe, but they know it has to be done. So
then, when the economy turns around,
that unneeded fat is gone forever. You
don't hire those people back—you put
[the money] into needed services. That's
my priority.
PLAYBOY: That sounds he;
off people during a recessic
WILDER: My God, no. That's the time to
do и. If you don't need them, why keep
them on a public dole? Government
shouldn' be the employer of last resort.
When things start getting better, you'd
better not try to cut personnel. If you've
got the money and you're firing this guy,
people want to know why. But when you
don't have the money. no one's going to
be mad at you.
PLAYBOY: 5o your visi
government?
WILDER: My vision is of a government that
priovitizing the spending of the
payers’ money. We should spend for
needed services, not for nonsense.
PLAYBOY: With all duc respect, a good ac-
countant could have that same vision

a believer in the
з approach,

Getting even

rtless—laying

n is of a wasteless

“EVERYTHING

Жж ТНАТ MAKES
a
A MAN,
re aÈ)
, А МАМ.
f.
[THAT'S BRUT.

C'MON...

PUT IT ON”

—KELLY LEBROCK

js BRUT
THE ESSEN CEST MAN

1991 Faberge fl

PLAYBOY

aply by managing the piggy bank well.
WILDER: Does a really good nant
have the experience of showing that it
ап be done? I doubt it. Im пог an ac-
countant, but I've shown that it can be

ме
have not I 15. We've not
had borrow lebtedness or deficit

financing. Nor have we had any increase
п taxes.

PLAYBOY: What do you consider "needed
services"?
WILDER: Expanded health care for those
who need it. We spend as much money
for health as any other nation in the
world, but we're not getting the. best
bang for our buck

PLAYBOY: What about the thirty to forty
ion people in this country without
health ince? Wouldn't it та ike sense
to have a national health pl
WILDER: Why Ша Govern:
that? The private sector could
own people through employment. Look,
you've got a situation in Canada where
they don't spend as much as we spend on
health care, yet they have а system that
many feel is better. Some argue that it
doesn't cover every category of health.
Well, maybe we cover loo many categories.
Maybe we should look again at some of
the entitlements. When you look
Medicare, и indexed for Social Secur
ind Social Sec
So we аге pay
really need it.
PLAYBOY: Another about
you're adamant is the death pei
used to be opposcd to it; yet,
ran for licutenant governor, you
have become more conservative. As gov-

she

rity is not means-tested.
ng for people who dont

which
alty. You
ce you
vicws

issuc

emor, you've allowed execution
and commuted one death sentence,
What changed your mindz

WILDER: The circumstances changed. 1

was opposed to the d y when I
thought it was unl meted ош to
blacks. Since 1908, two hundred forty
yht people had been put to death
Virginia; all except thirty seven w
black. And of the thirty-seven nonblacks,
all were convicted of first-degree murder

mber of blacks had been put

tional, Thi

US. Supreme Cou
found it was unconstitutional. But that
has since been rectified.

PLAYBOY: On another domestic issuc—
abortion—you have not rolled with the
conservative tide. In fact, you stunned
the political world in 1980 by taking a
pro-choice stand. It became one of the
cornerstones of your gube
paign, at a t
reversal of the 1973 Roe vs. Wade deci-
sion. Every analysis of your election at-
tributes your tiny margin of victory—less
than one half of a percentage point—to
votes from women.
WILDER: | came out
of individuals. 125

n favor of the rights
civil rights issue. 1

said it was Jeffersonian. The Government

shouldn't inte: with basic human
nights.

PLAYBOY: Fine. Politically, will it be pos:
ble to run а pro-choice campaign on a
national level?

WILDER: No, a campaign isn't run on
abortion—that can cut both ways, believe

me—ir's run on not turning the clock
back. The question is whether you want
to turn the clock back before 1973. And 1
think the vast majority of people in this
country don't want to turn the clock back
on whatever social reforms w е.
PLAYBOY: Let's go to another critical is-
sue: education. What's right and wh;
wrong with our educational system?
WILDER: Wi y
tion than any other nation in the world.
But isit r ely functional in terms of what

ing the ne гу at everyone.
should receive the same degree of educ
tion up to tenth g
they'll have the choice to dec у
want to pursue vocational skills or pra
ceed academically. If the choice is voca-
tional, we want to suggest that they go

"Other countries have an.
advantage over us. They've
been to our schools. They
hnow what sells and what

doesn't sell—and we don't."

into the private sector and. get tr
on the job.

We're also not teaching our youngsters
enough about foreign languages and for-
cign cultures. And God knows we haven't
taught them enough about English—to
be able to speak it and write it. Other
countries have an advantage over us. Not
only do they speak our language, they ve
been to our and schools.
They know what sells and what doesn't
sell—and we don't. There are certain
things we do culturally that are not going
to fly in other countries, That's why I tell
our young people today that they're not
leaders of tomorrow, they're leaders of.
today.
PLAYBOY:
rude rei

ning

The Ре alf war was a
ler of our continuing depend-
ency on oil, on foreign oil, in particular
You said that the Bush Administration
has no energy policy. Whar's yours?
WILDER: One that would not be depend-
ent on foreign oil

PLAYBOY: Everybody says that, bit how
do you make that happen?

WILDER: Ву devising other measures by
which we could depend on energy. Coal

poses.
PLAYBOY: Anything else? Such as three-
dol gallon gasoline?

WILDER: Encou g ollshore drilling
where we can di out damage to our
environment and our ecology. And actu-
ally, by dealing with some of the attitudes
п our country toward consumption. We
have to encourage people to be more en-
ergy conscious in terms of conserva-
tion—not just in times of crisis but at all
times. Cut the lights off when you leave
the room. Teach that to youngsters now.
PLAYBOY: But automobile-fuel consump-
tion is the lion's share of this problem.

акей about th
people to drive less.

Vith a p gn?
letting people
know that the gridlock going

to get any better. When you build а read,
before you can get it completed, it’s grid-
locked. There should be more high-occ
ation of vans.
ion of rail travel—
privatization of rail. This would not be
done by force; there would be es
for it. We could use the air space over the
median strips of highways. The biggest
cost of е acquisition, but its a
able on every super highway
We could also look into the magne
on trains. Japan and Ge
ady doing it.
PLAYBOY: What about mandating
ives to. driving by implementing а
asoline tax? We have the chi
gas in the developed world; in Italy, gaso-
line costs nearly five dollars per gall
WILDER: Arc you going to tax people just
to punish them? Гус not seen one i
stance in which applying taxes has forced
people not to do something. They
the liquor tax and that doesn't
people from drinking. They
cigarette tax and that doesn't stop people
Trom smoking. Why would raising the tax
on gasoline be any different?
PLAYBOY: It would certainly stimulate the
search for alternative fuels as well as gen-
erate both the funds and the stimulus to
develop public transportation. That's an
energy policy.
WILDER: No, that's not an energy policy.
regressive tax,
* Much of this discussion stems
from the current problems in the Middle
ам. Should we continue to give so much
foreign aid to Israel and Egypi
WILDER: Israel was our friend when we
had none—we can't forget that. That li
tle country serves as а place where reli-
gious freed tolerated. This is no
D le back on Israel
came on board with the Camp
accords and lessened the hostility
in that part of the world. So we can't
our back on them, either We've got to be
careful about where the hegemony lies
PLAYBO! rea in which no

се

sc
stop
the

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Democratic challenger can really com-
pete with Bush. Despite your Korean War
record—which well get to—you dont
have any foreign-affairs experience
WILDER: | have the same amount that
Jimmy Carter had, (he same amount
that Ronald Reagan had, the same
amount that Gerald Ford had, the same
amount that Harry Truman had and the
same amount that Lyndon [ohnson had.
PLAYBOY: Dut it doesn't stack up very well
against Bush's record as the man who
threw Saddam Hussein out of Kuwait
And until the air war in Iraq began, you
supported economic sanctions rather
than the use of force. You said, “Restor-
ing the emir of Kuwait to his throne is
not worth a single American life."
WILDER: ] was asked my opinion, and 1
gave my opinion. But 1 never opposed
war options; 1 just wanted to see sanc-
tions have more time to work. I never ral-
lied support one way or another. So 1
don't think that issue would affect me.
And I don't think everyone who voted for
the war is automatically assured of any-
thing. either. I was a very strong support-
er of the cause after the President made
his decision. 1 felt great sympathy with
the families of the troops, and felt that
once the decision was made, we ought to
be united and strong. The worst thing we
could've done to the troops was show
th a dispirited effort and lack of unity.
And I thought a lot about the casualties. 1
knew that the lucky ones come home and
the others don't. It could have happened
to me.

PLAYBOY: You're talking about your serv-
ice as a soldier in Korea in 1952 and
19532 Tell us about that.

WILDER: Well, just like the way people
were wondering why we should be fight-
ing in the Persian
Arabian citizens were not called upon to
fight, 1 felt very much the same way when
I was in Korea. 1 said, "It looks like they
should have used all of their people first
before they had to use те. Why те? Why
not them first?”

PLAYBOY: Was this especially intense for
you because you were a black American?
WILDER: Not really. First of all, it affected
more white Americans than black. I was
in an integrated unit—the 17th Infantry
Regiment of the Seventh Division. lt was
supposed to be a United Nations effort,
too. Ме had Ethiopians, Greeks, Turks—
all very good fighting groups. The Eng-
lish and the adians were ther
too—also good fighting groups. Then we
had the Colombians, who would just as
soon bug out on you in a minute. If they
were alongside your unit, supposedly do-
ing cover, you were in trouble. But most
of the casualties were American.
PLAYBOY: You saw lots of casualtie:
WILDER: Oh, yeah, all around me. One
time, four of us were sitting around when
a montar fell right in the middle of us—
blew us in all different directions. I only
had scratches, but one guy was killed—

ulf when so many

he died of internal injuries from the con-
cussion; another guy lost a leg; and one
guy was in shock—had his arm blown off.
The most serious wound T got was from
barbed wire. I scratched my leg

PLAYBOY: What was your job?

WILDER: We were in trenches and bunkers
on hills along the MLR—the Main Line
of Resistance. Our job was to hold it. The
Chinese—thar's. mostly who we faced—
attacked at night. They would hit us with
artillery and mortars, then dig tunnels
id show up in our trenches with their
burp guns. You'd hear а briyp!—that’s
how you knew they were there. I ran out
of my hooch one time when a guy named
lenti had run into a guy with a

gun. But the trench
was so narrow, Valenti
couldnt get his M-I
ound. So he took
his helmet and
ted beating the
guy to death with it
He hit him and hit
him and hit him. The
Chinese wore these
soft caps. Valenti liter
айу had to be
dragged off the guy;
he was smashing h
head back into the
ground. Killed him.
PLAYBOY: How is it
possible to get a jump.
оп à guy with a burp
gun?
WILDER: The Chinese
would take dope be-
fore an auack—they'd
smoke opium, listen
to and мий.
Opium puts you ü
real light mood, Г
told. So опе úme, a
guy popped up in a
trench in front of me
nd he just starred
laughing. Не didn't
fire, but it still frigh
ened me to death. 1
nocked him down
and ran right over
him. We often had to
retreat oll the hill.
PLAYBOY: Did you ever shoot anyone?
WILDER: Oh, yeah. You'd be out on your
post and you'd see a figure crawling up
the hill. First, you'd check to see if any of
your people were out there. Your mind
started playing tricks оп you; you'd shoot
at shadows.

But I shot him. He stopped. I thought
he was just playing dead, so I shot him
again. Í could see a flinch, so 1 knew he
really wasn't dead the first time. So 1 shot
a ıd again, and the bullets were just
hitting like this [claps hands], until 1 knew
the body was cold. Then I threw a gre-
nade at him to make sure he was dead.
PLAYBOY: What was it like being under
attack?

nusic

WILDER: We were и mortar and a
tillery all the time. Y r the moi
only just before it hits—oooo00-rum! Tt
took me years to get over it. The Chinese.
invented mortar, so they're masters at it.
Even now, I can't stand a loud noise—it
still makes me jump. Its embarrassing
around people, und little kids, be-
cause it doesn’t bother them. Like a
twenty-one gun salute. But I was all right
at my inaugural, because I knew it was
coming and I could see the guns.
PLAYBOY: You were decorated with a
Bronze Star for heroism.

WILDER: Well, I didn't talk about that for
y y didn't even know | had
it. I really feel that a lot of people who

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deserved awards never got them—a lot
of people are dead. And some people
who got the stars didn't deserve them.
PLAYBOY: Whar about yours?
WILDER: We were trying to recapture Pork
Chop hill, which the Chinese had taken
from us. I was a corporal and a squad
leader by that time. It was a very we
tified hill, with lots of bunkers and logs
and sandbags. As we went up, 1 was un-
der the impression that the hill had al-
ready been retaken, Suddenly, I heard а
few burps, and one of our guys got
knocked off right there. We carried him
into a little side bunker and I was ama
at how many of à
ready in th
So now the

wounded were al-

е.

е of us. We

were only th

Innovation that's clearly ahead.

roamed around until we figured out that
fire was coming from a certain bunker. 1
told one guy to go around behind the
bunker and stick a thermite grenade
through the sandbags. Its a heat gre-
nade, and when it goes off—whoosh!—i I
cause you to come out.

PLAYBOY: Did it work?

WILDER: Yeah, they started coming out of
the bunker. We knew enough Chinese
to Surrender, throw down your
weapons!" If they had known there were
only three of us, they could have taken
us. I didn't know how many people were
in that bunker—there turned out to be
twenty of them. We lined them all up.
They were scared to death.

Then we had to get
them down the hill,
and I had (o walk
backward the whole
мау. E couldn't turn
my back on them and
we couldnt search
them for grenades—
not with just three of
5. And it was dar
put one of our gu
the back of the

When we got down
to the bouom and
counted them again,
there were only nine-
teen. I had counted
twenty before and the

olficer wanted to
know where the last
one was. | said,
"Maybe 1

wrong" But on the
way down, I thought
Га heard a shot. You
know, the soldier 1
had positioned at the
back of the line had
been real mad for а
long period.

PLAYBOY: 5o you think
maybe he-
WILDER: Yeah. War just.
does things to people.
T know how I reacied
to prisoners. 1 got to
be real mean to them.
For rest, we were sent back to the rear to
d prisoners. There would be one
nd of them, lined up in rows of
one hundred. Our job was to go in and
search them. I was real gung-ho. 1 got to
kicking them in the ribs sometimes when
they weren't answering questions. With
combat boots on, you don't have to dra
back far to hurt somebody. Sometimes

step on their toes. But I finally qui
ecring for tha
PLAYBOY: Why?

WILDER: One day, а prisoner spoke to me
perfect English. He said, "Why are you
kicking me? I was a clerk in a store in
Pyongyang. I didn't volunteer for this. 1
had no intention of coming here." And

PLAYBOY

then he reminded me all about Jefferson
and Lincoln and the words of the great
patriots. He was shaming me, really. He.
said, "They spoke of the rights of man,

nd you are here to fight me? What have
1 done to you? You don't have rights in
'our country."

I think I slapped him and said, “You

don't have anything to do with that.” But
it turned me around in terms of be-
lieving that I had any right to mistreat
them—even though I knew there were
some who, if you turned your back on
them for a second, would do you in. Still,
that’s the kind of savagery that comes
over you.

PLAYBOY: Did the My Lai
Vietnam remind you of that?

Yeah, it did. 1 thought, My God,
that could have happened and it would
have been with me for life. АП it takes is a
little bit to set these things іп motion,
and then it becomes the accepted norm.
It's like so many of the things that have
gone on in this country—lynchings, mob
violence, shooting people.

PLAYBOY: How did the experience of
being a soldier—seeing death, causing
death—affect your lif
WILDER: It made те appreciate the op-
portunity to have what I call a second life.
When I came back to the States, I knew
that I had a chance to improve on what I
had been and done. I knew that I hadn't.
been the best student in college, that I
hadn't applied myself to the extent that I
should have. And I had seen so many
better soldiers—men who were orderly
and conducted themselves with great di:
patch—get killed through по fault. of
their own. They weren't coming home.
PLAYBOY: Why didn't you tell your family
you had gotten the Bronze Star?

WILDER: Because T didn't really think it
meant all that much. And because when
we finally got down the hill, an officer put
me in for the Bronze Star and then put
himself in for the Silver Star. Yet he had
never set foot on that hill. It went on all
the time. And it’s not a question of mod-
esty with me. Pve talked more with you
about this than I have ever talked with
anybody else.

PLAYBOY: Let's move hack to the present
How do you feel about the fact that three
books have been written about you?
WILDER: It's а little... different. They're
fair, and I'm glad there has been an а
rate portrayal of some of the things we've
talked about

PLAYBOY: Yet the books bring up a few in-
cidents that don't paint an entirely flat-
tering portrait of you.

WILDER: То say the least.

PLAYBOY: Even though you've responded
to some of these issues in your guberna-
torial campaigns, you're going to have to
address them again now that you've er
tered the national political arena.
have to ask you about some of them
WILDER: Just as well. Everyone else does.

nassacre in

сси-

judge, "We find

PLAYBOY: The most serious incident, pe
haps, was when the Virginia supreme
court reprimanded you in 1978 for “un-
professional conduct" as a lawyer. The
charge was that you hadn't adequately
and promptly represented a family who
had retained you in 1966 after а car acc
dent. The family filed malpractice suits
against you. Why hadn't you dealt with
their case sooner?

WILDER: Га done all E could do on и. I was
asked to accept а reprimand and I said,
“No, I'm right on the merits." But the
court said that I was wrong. So I said,
“That being the case, as far as I'm con-
cerned, it's over, And I regret it. And it
won't happen again. It was a mistake and
I won't repeat the mistake.” And ше
judge, I think to his credit, made a state-
ment in the hearing that nothing in the
proceeding was intended to reflect on
Mr. Wilder's integrity or honesty.
PLAYBOY: What about the row-house inci-
dent? A grand jury was impaneled to in-
€ the alleged neglect of a row
house you owned at a time when you
were campaigning on housing issues and
demanding improved conditions. Why
did you ignore the feelings of a group of
neighbors about the row house, which
they considered ап eyesore?

WILDER: The majority of the neighbor-
hood felt that there was nothing wrong.
They passed a petition to say that. No
one ever lived in there—never, ever. The
house was under rep їһеге was a
sign. Then a contractor who had been
hired to do the work left and had anoth-
er contractor do the work. Then a fire oc-
curred. That led 10 leaking from the roof
d damages to neighboring. property.
All of which was taken care of.

PLAYBOY: The books say that the fire was
caused in part by neglect, and they also
suggest that the building was occasional-
ly occupied by vagrants

WILDER: | don't know how the fire started,
and I don't think anyone else really
knows. We have to attribute it to someone
being in there to warm up or something
But no court ever found anything wrong.
PLAYBOY: Is it noi
WILDER: Wait a minute, let me finish. No
court ever found anything! Case dis-
missed. The circuit-court judge even had
a grand jury impaneled to investigate the
house. They came back and told the
othing wrong."

And let me tell you, Гуе finished ап-
swering questions. Read the books, go
and check everything out. Pm not going
to talk about it. P've just gone over it so
much. Гуе said all I have to say about it.
You can print that.

If you want to talk about something
substantive, ГИ talk with you. But what is
essentially nonsense Гуе already de.
bed as nonsense in the '89 election,
PLAYBOY: Shortly after your 1985 election
as lieutenant governor, you said you sold
the house to HLS Associates Trust, which

was owned by a friend and business part-
ner of yours. In 1989, it came out that the
sole beneficiary of HLS Trust was Doug-
las W was called а cover-up.
Now, if you sold the house——
WILDER: | never said I sold it.
PLAYBOY: Then what did you say?
said that it wasn't in my name
any longer, and that I had no more con-
trol over it. Which is true.
PLAYBOY: lt sounds like h;
Ifthe
me the worst that you w
at that.
PLAYBOY: We do not assume anythi
want to find out. You're а public official
You once said іп a speech, “In the new
pitted to car
avior in every

splitting,
sue was

to assume. Pr

mainstream, wc arc coi
dor. nd to ethical bel
aspect of onc's life."
WILDER: I went to court. This case went to
court. There was a grand jury on it. You
don't know anything about it at all. 7
know why the story was raised. I know it
was political. I have not ducked the issue.
PLAYBOY: What do you mcan, it was
political

WILDER: Take my word.

PLAYBOY: You mean somebody else plant-
ed the story? An enemy, perhaps?
WILDER: My point is, whatever you write
about the house, I don't care. That's what
I'm trying to tell you.
PLAYBOY: We're not writing about the
house. We're only interested in what you
have to say about it.

WILDER: Well, I've said all I intend to say
about

thing more p
Virginia's most eli
cent months, you've been romantically
linked to Patr Kluge, the wealthy ex-
wife of John Kluge, who has been ranked
as America's richest man. He was your
west supporter, giving. two hundred
thousand dollars to your gubernatorial
campaign and raising another. six hi
dred thousand dollars. You escorted Mrs.
Kluge to several social events and ap-
pointed. her to the board of the Un
versity of Virginia. Are the two of you
romantically involved?

WILDER: lÍ so, the press would ha
ed it by now, wouldn't the;
PLAYBOY: We're asking you

е print-

PLAYBOY: So? Maybe? Maybe not?

WILDER: No, I won't say anything. Just
that she's a friend and a fine lady.
PLAYBOY: There was a Пар a few months
ago about your having used the state jet
for a social trip with Mrs. Kluge to N.
tucket. After the press revealed the story,
you reimbursed the state several tho
sand dollars. What was the problem?
WILDER: They thought I was using the
helicopter to visit Mrs. Kluge in Char-
lottesville. They thought it would be
something to write about.

PLAYBOY: Was it true or not?

WILDER: No, it wasn't true.
PLAYBOY; So you have not used 1
copter to visit her
WILDER: No, 11 t
PLAYBOY: In that case, why «ігі you just
show them the helicopter records? Do
you have something to hide?

WILDER: No. Its like when they asked те
why 1 dont show them the telephone
calls that I've made. I dont have any-
thing to hide when I go into the bath-
room, but T usually shut the door.
PLAYBOY: Still, all of these stories rais
question about judgment.
WILDER: So whats vour
anything you wa
PLAYBOY: АП right. The main thing that's
left on the list is your divorce. Why was
the record sealed on the divorce?
WILDER: lm not going to go into it
PLAYBOY: The record is that your ex-wife
made allegations.

WILDER: The
record?
PLAYBOY: We knew yc
like this part of the
WILDER: | don’t mind i
PLAYBOY: From the book Wilder: Hold Fast
to Divams, by Donald P, Baker, a Washing-
ton Post reporter: “July twenty-fifth, 1975,
Eunice Wilder filed for divorce, charging.
her husband of nearly seventeen у
with ‘cruelty and reasonable apprehen-
sion of bodily harm. " That's a quote
WILDER: That comes from some bill of
complaint, I would imagine, doesnt it?
PLAYBOY: Those are the original charges.
What is this allegation of "reasonable ap-
prehension of bodily harm all about?
WILDER: I've said all I intend to about it.
PLAYBOY: But you haven't said a thing.
WILDER: And that's exactly all I intend to
say about it

PLAYBOY: This wall of silence is uncharac-
teristic ol you.
WILDER: ГИ say one thing, then ГИ be
finished with it: 1 did not request that the
divorce record be sealed. And for me to
tell you that I've said all 1 intend to say
bout it—and then to continue to talk
with vou—means that Um а 1 fool,
and I don't think Pm ени а
finished with why and when it was sealed.
Do you want to talk y else
pertaining to the di
PLAYBOY: A divorce in and ol itself is of
no particular interest, but this allegation
of bodily harm is another m
WILDER: So write about it. Can't you un-
derstand what Fm saying? Did you hea
me? lı hasn nazing
how people Dh, this is it. This is it
PLAYBOY: This is what
WILDER: This is the smoking gun.
the hand grenade. This O
run through (hat the better part of my
life. That's why it doesn't bother me.
PLAYBOY: Why should th
ng guns out there at al
tery out of it

heli-

гау

Ask

question

have (he

You

record?

t going to

bothered me. It's

This is
Туе

< be any smok-
Take the mys-

WILDE!
thers

As long as Pm breathing air.
will a
That's fatal
l, Ibeliev
Are you
WILDER: Yeah.
PLAYBOY: 15 there
to talk about?

WILDER: No, I'm here to

questions, remember?

PLAYBOY: We're opening the field. We
may not have touched on some areas that
you want to touch оп.
WILDER: God only knows w
PLAYBOY: Would you ente
question on the divorce?
WILDER: Ask ii
PLAYBOY: Why was there an allegation of
bodily harm?

WILDER: You would have to ask my ex-
wile, wouldn't you? I didn't make any al-
legations.

PLAYBOY: No, but she was refe
you, so unless it’s fabr
WILDER: I've drawn any number of bills of
complaints myself, as а lawyer. You can
get a divorce only under the violation of

anything else you'd like

wer your

that is.
іп one more

gto

ation.

"If the files haven't
been opened in fifteen
years, what force, what
impetus would there be for

те to change that now?"

certain things.
PLAYBOY: We know it drives vou а
be asked about this smufi ——
WILDER: It doesn't drive me crazy, and
you don't understand. The point is that
in each of the cases that you refer to, as
much as people would like there to be in-
cendiary details, they just aren't theri
PLAYBOY: Maybe the only way to convince.
people of that is to let them have access
to information.

WILDER: The only way to convince people
of it, as I'm concerned, is to let
them write and think what they
PLAYBOY: Yes, but there's nothing like а
little secrecy to keep everybody excited
and intrigued.

WILDER: Well, that may Бе. 1 can under-
stand that. I can appreciate how people
could be titillated by something.
PLAYBOY: But that’s not fair. That's like
saying people are titillated by good looks
and nice s
we've wasted lots of t

azy to

s fa

This is politics. Governor,
me on a topic that
could be cleared up in a second.

WILDER: How can you ele:
me what I could have said.

You tell

PLAYBOY: You and your ex-wife could de-
cide vo talk publicly about the divorce.
WILDER: Suppose she doesn't want to.
PLAYBOY: That hasn't been tried yet, has
i? You have persuasive powers.

WILDER: How would that help her?
PLAYBOY: lı would lay this thing to rest.
WILDER: For who
PLAYBOY: For you
тезі ol yov
WILDER: | dont care. It doesn't bother
me.

PLAYBOY: Wc think this conversation does
bother you a little bit. It bothers us, too.
We'd just as soon not be having it
WILDER: Í feel vou need not worry about
nitpicking and ultimate nonsense.
PLAYBOY: Do you call these issues nitpick-
in ind nonsense?

WILDER: About the house, yes; that's nit-
picking. The reprimand is legitimate, I
think, as a lawyer accused of professional
procrastination. The divorce i
mate inquiry, but I think that there's a
point where you have to leave it alone.
Assume that you had a divorce and the
exavile said, “Look, I don't want to go in-
10 this anymore, and I don't want to di
cuss it. We have children." I would hope
thar whatever had been said was past and.
forgotten. I would want the record
sealed.

As а man—and I'm a man first—I do
certain things in my judgment. А man
isn't an adjective: I would never be anv-
thing but a man. So I couldn't care less
how [things are] interpreted. But I can't
live any other way than as that man. And
as а man, or as a human, or as a person,
there are some things that you are pre-
pared to live with. H the files haven't
opened in fifteen years, what force,
what impetus would there be for me to
change that now?

There's a quote in Julius Caesar when
Caesar is asked to lilt the banishment of
Publius Cimber, prior to Brutus and oth-
crs’ coming upon him to kill him. And
Caesar says, “If I could, if I were as you,
then I could be moved. And if I could
pray to move, then prayers would move
me. But Lam as constant as the northern
star, whose true fixed and resting quality
there is no fellow in the firmament.”
PLAYBOY: You make it sound as if vou
lence on the subject is noble.
WILDER: Гт not trying to make it noble,
Listen, are you riding back to Washing-
ton with me?

PLAYBOY: А!
WILDER: Үс:
м.

[An hour later, Wilder and Range board
the governors Bell helicopter for the 55-
minute flight lo Washington, where the gover-
nor is Ihe featured guest at a journalists’
dinner sponsored by the conservative monthly
American Spectator. |

nd for her—for the

si-

you going the
you can ride with me if you

eugene pulliam ran towns,
bullied politidans and created a newspaper
empire—some would say he created the career of
grandson dan quayle

HE WE

ERMAN had predicted rain, but dawn broke
pale and clear on Saturday, March 23. A stiff wind
snapped the tails of yellow ribbons belted to trees.

Flags unfurled from porches like crisp salutes. At
n family con-
verged at a nursing home in Franklin, Indiana, a tiny
burg 20 miles south of Indianapolis. The clan was
e the 100th birthday of Martha
Ou Pulliam, widow of newspaper baron Eugene
dress, the matriarch
sat in a wheelchair surrounded by her progeny, includ-
ing one grandson who stole the spotlight: James Danforth
Quayle.

It was Dan, not Martha, who cut the ceremonial first slice of
white-frosted birthday cake. It was Dan, not one of his elders,
who raised Old Glory up the t
was for a glimpse of the Vice-President more than a quote from

noon, four generations of the Pu

gathered to celeb

Collins Pulliam. In her lace-coll

»story flagpole outside. And it

the local c

menarian that kept reporters and photographers
iting outside, held at bay by Secret Service men with auto-
matic weapons tucked under their jackets.

Quayle made по speeches, but he ütillated the journalists
nonetheless. According to Rebecca Sun, a stringer for the
"ranklin Daily Journal and student at the Pulliam School of Jour-

nalism at Franklin College, Dan told his grandmother, “Gee,
' think you d last this long." Sun heard the quote
frais bel T ака hiat a led ado Ше banquet
hall for a sound bite.

The man who endowed this Hoosier dynasty did not, as the

Vice-President might put it, last long enough to attend the par-
ty. Eugene C. Pulliam, Quayle's grandfather, was 16 years in his
grave when his second wife ate a piece of her 100th-birthday

article By PAMELA MARIN

ILLUSTRATION BY DAMO WILCOX

cake. Still, his presence could be felt,
as if he were one of those meddling
gods from ai
ing down from the parted clouds.

In the years roughly bracketed
by the two World Wars, Eugene С
Pu

ient mythology look-

n built a print empire now

worth about a billion dollars. Сеп-
wal Newspapers, Inc., the seven-pa-
per chain he consolidated in the
Forties and bequeathed to his heirs

Indianapolis and Mune
and the Vincennes, Indi;
Commercial, whose publi

a, Sun-
her is the

Vice-President's brother. Although
the combined circulations of the sev-
en papers is less than 1,000,000, the
companv's influence in the markets
it rules is immense. The morning edi-
tions in Phoenix and Indianapolis,

A ringleader of the right, Pulliam wrote
encouragingly to candidate Nixon in
1960, “I om for you 100 percent.”

Pulliam liked Ike, and vice versa. At
Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport, the
publisher greeted the First Couple.

Pulliam and Nina, the former secretary who became his third wife, traveled the globe
incessantly. After his death, she took over as publisher of The Arizana Republic. Her brief,

tumultuous tenure there began with an editar's suicide and ended with a labor dispute.

= E

If the Veep is
dumped, this is
where he might

end up... back at

his family's chain
of powerful
newspapers.

You FORGET
EVERYTHING ELSE IVE
SAID REMEMBER THIS---

AMERICA 15 GREAT ONLY BECAUSE
AMERICA 15 FREE”

9, Ra.

Employees of Central Newspapers, Inc.
Pulliam/s seven-paper chain, pass the
founder's bronzed words each day in the
lobbies of Central's offices in Arizona and
Indiana. In addition to patriotism, his pa-
pers feature a daily chuckle and a prayer.

Department-store heir Barry Goldwater
got his first shot ot politics when Pulliam
hoisted him into the Phaenix city coun-
cil in 1949. With citizen Pulliam's help,
the conservative gunslinger nailed
down a U.S. Senator's seat by 1952,
and was running for President by 1964.

Quayle sat in the general manager's
chair at Indiana's Huntington Herald-
Press but gave it up far Washington.

-— —]

Confusion reigns
in the house
of Pulliam.
There's no one

like the old

man to take

control.

Politicolly, he slices to the right, but col-
lege student Dan Quayle hit them
streight down the fairway at Windy Hill
Country Club, DePouw's home course.

As the medio would loter discover,
Quayle wos no scholor ot DePouw,
where his grandpo cofounded the
nolior's first journolism froternity.

state capitals, are the de facto news-
papers of record in their states. In
words and pictures, they define local
issues and influence votes. For four
decades, they have reflected. the
right-wing sensibility of their patri-
arch. Like William Randolph Hearst
a generation before him, Pulliam
was obsessed with politics. He used
his newspapers to launch crusades
and settle vendettas. He bellowed at
his readers in front-page editorials
and wrangled for power in back-
room deals. Shamelessly slanting
news stories long after the style was
obsolete, Pulliam passed to his heirs

a legacy of journalistic infamy as well
as a cushion of dynastic wealth.
°
When President Bush's heart flut-
tered, it fanned "Dump Quayle"
brush fires. The future of the golfing

Huntington Herald-Press editor Mike Per-
kins boosts the hometown boy on the
day he wos nominoted os Vice-President.

Dan Quoyle ond
Marilyn Tucker met
os low students in
1972 (left). He was
о stor on the golf
team; she wos a
classroom stand-
ош. After a court-
ship of ten weeks,
they were morried,
ond 16 yeors later
they heoded to
Woshington, D.C.,
| es the notion's
second family.

In this modest Huntington, Indiono,
house (above), lames ond Corinne
Quoyle raised three kids. Two now
run newspopers; Don did even better.

At his grandma's
100th-birthdoy
porty (right) last
Morch in Franklin,
Indiono, Dan over-
shodowed guest of
honor Martho ОН
Pulliam, second
wife of newspaper
boron Eugene C.
Pulliom, while his
mother, Corinne
Pulliam Quayle,
kept an eye on
things. Said the МР,
"Gee, Nona, we
didn't think you'd
lost this long.”

PLAYBOY

Veep—code-named “Scorecard” by the
Secret Service—was scrutinized, edito-
rialized, polled. Time and Newsweek
weighed in with cover stories. Among
their revelations was a nonpartisan re-
search group's finding that “Quayle
finally lost his standing as the most
mocked figure on late-night television.
He was replaced by Saddam Hussein.”
"The polls showed that a majority want-
ed Bush to drop his embarrassing side-
kick in 1992. The Indianapolis Star,
however, saw press “sharks” on a “feed-
ing frenzy.”

“All Vice-Presidents have come under
similar scrutiny in such circumstances,”
the touchy Star opined. “Yet some re-
porters seemed more interested in
hammering Quayle than in the Presi-
dent's state of health.”

In Indianapolis, Quayle rumors have
been fiying fast and loose for years
One had Danny coming home to be
publisher of Central Newspapers—tip-
toeing in on cleated feet and hanging
his golf cap in the corner office.

Like all good gossip, the rumor had
its own logic. Old Man Pulliam's high-
profile grandson had played his college
golf at DePauw University in nearby
Greencastle and sneaked through law
school in Indianapolis. His wife, Mari-
lyn, a native Hoosier, was a law schoo!
classmate. She went home often for
fand raisers and family gatherings: the
day of Martha Pulliam's 100th-birthday
party, the Quayle motorcade stopped at
the home of Dr. Warren Tucker, Mari-
lyn's dad, in the little town of Peoga.
Even as a discarded Vice-President,
Dan would be a celebrity publisher in
the heartland. And what would the job
demand? Lunch with local merchants.
Black-tie appearances at charity bene-
fits. A TV interview or two. Golf. Dan
could handle that. And the men who
run the newspapers could keep the
presses rolling.

Just how they would view their new
boss is open to question. Last year, Star
staffers held a retirement party at the
Press Club for managing editor Bo
Conner. Members of Dan's extended
family, some of whom are top editors
and writers at the Indianapolis papers,
mingled with the crowd. "The Vice-
President of the United States couldn't
make it," the emcee announced. Then,
handing a small package to Conner, he
added, "So he sent his balls." Conner
blushed as he took the proffered box of
golf balls, and laughter filled the room.

Danny isn't going home. Or maybe
he is. One rumor has Quayle going
back to run for governor in 1992, chal-
lenging Democratic incumbent Evan
Bayh, son of Birch Bayh—the man Dan
unseated to get into the Senate in 1980.
Lately, the boyish Bayh has looked vul-
nerable, due to a huge shortfall in the

state's projected income. "Every time I
hear the rumor, it's cast in a positive
way," says a local political writer. "You
know, 'Dan has го go home and save the
troubled Republican Party in Indiana."
This would be promoted as an henor-
able way to get him off the ticket."

"The Dan-Quayle-as-publisher rumor
made the best water-cooler gossip.
Imagine the quotes. A man with foot-
in-mouth disease leading a brigade of
writers! But it was probably just a sign
of the confusion in the house of Pul-
liam.

When Eugene C. Pulliam was alive,
everyone knew who was boss. Figuring
out what Old Man Pulliam wanted was
"the ultimate second guess," says Paul
Dean, a Los Angeles Times columnist who
worked for The Arizona Republic in the
Sixties and Seventies. "You wrote as if
he were looking over your shoulder."
Now the bean counters rule. Their
leader is the founder's only son, Eu-
gene S. Pulliam, who settled into his
father's sheltering shadow in Indi-
anapolis just one year after graduating
from DePauw, his father's alma mater.
He became assistant publisher of the
Indy papers in the Sixties and inherited
the title of publisher when Daddy died.
Those who knew his father still refer to
him as Young Gene and even Sonny.
"This year, he celebrates his 77th birth-
day.

Reporters in Indianapolis, some of
whom have worked in the same build-
ing with Young Gene for decades, say
they do not know how the publisher fills
his days. He isa pleasant man, they say,
kindly and soft-spoken. But what does
he do? "My primary interest and my
abilities, if there are any, are in the
business side," he says. "I approve all
pay increases and all out-of-state trav-
el. . . .” He sits in a paneled corner
office surrounded by family photos.
One shows his father shaking hands
with a very young and tan and blond
Dan Quayle. It was taken on the day
Danny joined the frat the Old Man had
belonged to at DePauw. Nearby are
Young Gene’s golf trophies and me-
mentos from his years as publisher. He
calls them “do-dah awards.”

“Young Gene is neither loved nor
hated, respected nor disrespected,”
says a local writer who worked at the pa-
pers under both Gene Pulliams. "He's a
neuter. He's just there.”

Also working at the family shop in In-
dianapolis is Young Gene's son Russell,
a Bible-thumping editorial writer for
the Neus, and his feisty sister Myrta, as-
sistant managing editor for news at the
Star. Myrta and Russell have an es-
tranged younger sister named Debbie,
who lives in Maine and once edited an
alternative newspaper there; one writer
who has worked for the chain for more

than 90 years has never even heard of
Debbie Pulliam.

Of the third generation of the Pul-
liam clan working in the empire,
including Vincennes Sun-Commercial pub-
lisher Michael Quayle, Dan's younger
brother, Myrta is thought to have the
best shot at the corner office. Yet for all
their years of service to Central News-
papers, none of the inheritors repre-
sents the founder's vill to power as well
as the one who left the business for
Washington, D.C.

If Eugene C. Pulliam hadn't made a
fortune wielding newspapers like blunt
instruments, Dan Quayle would nor
be Vice-President. Quayle probably
wouldn't be in politics at all. The only
reason he came to the attention of
G.O.P. functionaries in Allen County,
Indiana, in 1976 was that his daddy
owned a paper there and was, by mar-
riage and temperament, part of Pul-
liam's conservative print army. James
Quayle had married Old Man Pulliam's
daughter Corinne and bought the
Huntington Herald-Press from his father-
in-law in 1964. Twelve years later, it oc-
curred to Orvas Beers, the Republican
Party chairman in Allen County, to run
James Quayle's son for a Congressional
scat. Dan was 99 years old, living near
a golf course in Huntington. Between
rounds, he worked in the dingy pub-
lisher's office at the Herald-Press, a
room now occupied by his sister, a
tained nurse who came to publishing
in the same way Quayle went to Wash-
ington—with a slim résumé and a po-
tent surname.

Beers thought Dan Quayle had a shot.
at Congress in part because of his “
tractive features and his friendliness.”
What else was there to go on? While
those qualities might not have im-
pressed Dan's grandfather, promoting
a political novice was a gambit he un-
derstood. Three decades earlier, Pul-
liam and some pals had retooled
Phoenix city government into an en-
gine of their will. Self-appointed civic
dons, they drew up slates of councilmen
and mayoral candidates and publicized
them in Pulliam’s papers. On the ca-
bal's first roster was a department
store heir who just three years
later—boosted by Pulliam puffery and
editorial endorsements—defeated Sen-
ate Majority Leader Ernest MacFar-
land. Soon after, Senator Barry
Goldwater boldly ran for President.

A joke that made the rounds in
Phoenix in the Fifties had Pulliam de-
manding of his top editor, “What did
Goldwater say today?”

“Nothing,” said the editor.

“Fine!” responded the publisher

(continued on page 154)

“Tonight's dinner is very important for my choice of careers,
because if is а success, 1 won't need to make one.”

NOT YOUR AVERAGE

RKING GIRL

three reasons to whistle while you work

| TUSED TO BE there were some exclusive male bastions, with no gals to distract from the business at hand—

places such as the boxing ring, the insulation-and-heating trade, the aircraft hangar. Not anymore—or
have you been working too hard to notice? Well, put down your tools and take a break along with Leslie
Glass, Cathy Dzik and Kelly Shepherd, the women whom we discovered laboring in precisely those loca-
tions. We introduce them here as part of our continuing tribute to the great working women of America.

LESLIE GLASS

"I've lived in New York and | travel
all over for my jobs," soys Leslie,
"but | lave Baltimore. It hos a bit of
everything—access ta the beach,
the mountains, whatever you want.”
In her home, Leslie has a bit of ev-
erything for campony, taa: Her pets
include four cats, two Dobermans, o
potbellied pig and a ferret. It's also
the bose for a career that includes
acting, modeling and working the
ring as o round-cord gir. In two
yeors, she hos emerged os the star
of her trade; thot wos Leslie in Tyson
vs. Williams, Pazienza vs. Camacho
and Holyfield vs. Foreman. “Usually,
promolers hire cocktail waitresses,”
says Leslie, “but | put something ex-
tra into my walk and my outfits. Pea-
ple don't realize it, but my costumes
cost between eight hundred спа two
thousand dollars. We're provid-
ing the real glamour of boxing.”

CATHY DZIK

“None of the guys at work will be-
lieve it," says Соћу of her appeor-
once in Playboy. "When they see
me, I'm for from glamaurous. I'm
usuolly hot and ilchy." Her ca-work-
ers are the men at a Heat and Frost
Insulators Union lacal in western Illi-
nois, where she is the sole woman
member. Hot and itchy sounded
good ta us until Cathy exploined
thot her work entailed wrapping
steam pipes ond air-conditioning
conduits with batts of fiberglass in-
sulotion. When she isn't working,
she ond her husband, Mike, lift
weights and jog together. Ideally,
Cathy says, she'd like to devote her-
self full time to the health-and-
mufrifion-counseling business they
started os a side line three years
cgo. "It's a natural for us,” she says.
"We thought it would be o good
way to shore our healthy lifestyles."

KELLY SHEPHERD

Mention a beautiful матап and оп
airplane in the same breath, and o
flight attendant comes to mind,
right? Think again. Kelly works on,
not in, jumbo jets. As a toal-and-
parts dispatcher for the largest man-
ufacturer cf circraft in Americo, she
hos helped out on the construction
of everything from 747s to the B-2
bomber. "Being oround planes
really natural for me,” she says.
mean, my idea of o grect evening is
а dinner of crab salad, an older mon
for compony, and then a balloon
ride into the sunset." Kelly divides
her cff-work hours among painting
water colors, craftwark ond roller-
bloding, which she does to stay in
shope. Right now, she lives in Wosh-
inglon Stote, but her dreams are
down the coast in Hollywood. “I'd
really like ta be а character оп All
му Children. It’s my ma's favorite.”

natural for me; | don't necessarily think of it as
sexual,” says Leslie Gloss (below). "But my posing nud
does meon that | can't go out with anybody passessive.

“1 was very excited obout posing," soys Kelly Shepherd, ot left. “It’s not only o great opportunity ta change the direction of ту life
in o positive fashion but 1 think it's also going to be o greot woy to meet new people.” Cothy Dzik (below) says, "То me, Ployboy rep-
resents the ultimate in beauty and sexuality. There's really no greater compliment than being asked to appear in the magazine.”

“i've made a general plan," sheldon said proudly,
“but i've deliberately left room for the unexpected"

fiction By MALCOLM BOSSE

HELDON WHITE had planned
his safari for two years.
He had taken a refresher
course in Spanish. He had
worked out at the gym to
get in shape. He arranged
for emergencies in his law
practice to be handled by
his partner. He supplied
his wife, Paula, and himself
with money belts, neck
pouches. elastic support
bandages above the elbow
to hide their papers. They
took shots, including hu-

man diploid vaccine, for prevention against disease from bites of rabid
bats. They had chloroquine for malaria prophylaxis, Lomotil for diar-
rhea, Sterotabs for sterilizing water, two antibiotics: tetracycline and
streptotriad. They took along DEET insect repellent and Cetrimide BP
for infected bites. Toilet paper. A complete first-aid kit. Five pounds of
chocolate energy bars. Sheldon would make sure their guide stocked
enough butane fuel for the stove, kettles and cooking utensils for three
people and sufficient canned food for the expedition.

When friends and family had said to him before he left New York,
"Shelly, you've thought of everything," he denied it proudly.

“That's just what I don't want to do. I've made a general plan, but I've
deliberately left room for the unexpected."

They flew to Quito, where Paula experienced altitude sickness, then
hired a chauffeured car and headed for Oriente, a remote area of vast
rain forests. When they reached their destination, a dirty river town
called Misahualli, their driver José unloaded their bags in front of a ce-
ment-block building with HOTEL in faded blue printed over its doorless
entrance. He offered to arrange for a guide and supplies.

"No," said Sheldon, “that's my job."

"Be careful" warned José. "Many of these people are thieves and
worse."

"What do you mean, worse?"

José shrugged. "Anything you can imagine."

From his travel agent, who knew Ecuador, Sheldon had heard of these
Misahualli guides; they were an independent lot, a complicated mix of
pride and envy and десен. But the travel agent also said that Ecuadori-
ans like to exaggerate.

"Thanks for the warning," Sheldon said. "I'll hire my own guide."

With another shrug, José got into the car and headed back to Quito.

That night, Sheldon and Paula slept in cots in a cement cubicle with
some hooks for their clothes, one tiny window above eye level and a
rackety overhead fan. They had a short but spirited parley. Paula felt

ILLUSTRATION BY BRALOT BRALOS

PLAYBOY

that they should have kept José over-
night and let him negotiate for a guide
in the morning.

Sheldon argued that they mustn't de-
pend on other people. This was their
safari; they had to arrange it them-
selves. They had to be in charge. Other-
wise, it wasn't a real adventure.

"Do you know why I'm here?" he
asked suddenly.

“I think so. To prove you can do
this."

"You think you know why, but no опе
knows why someone else does some-
thing. Anyway, I appreciate your going
along with it."

"I'm here because I love you, Shelly."

This simple declaration rendered
him speechless. Reaching over to her
cot, Sheldon groped for her hand and
when he found it, he held her fingers
the way he might have held a butterfly.

After a breakfast of weak coffee and
soggy tamales, they walked out into
blinding sunlight to face a dusty street
lined by shanties with roofs of corrugat-
ed tin. Men in Tshirts, torn cotton
pants, old tennis shoes and billed caps
stood in the shade, as drowsy as cows,
squinting morosely at anything that
moved through the hot little square.

Many of the huts advertised guides in
Spanish and English and the crude
signs made extravagant claims of their
boat trips and jungle excursions. Shel-
don studied each one and met with his
Own stare those of men seated deep
within the shadowy interiors.

The Whites amped past a weedy lot
filled with automotive parts and a gut-
ted truck, then a cantina from which
the Andrews Sisters’ Boogie Woogie Bugle
Bey was blaring out of a tinny radio.
Then came a shack with the following
sign nailed next to the door:

RAMON TORRES
PROFECIONAL AND EXPERIENCED
JUNGLE GUIDE
SPEAKING ENGLISH

“This looks terrible,” Paula said with
a grimace.

“Tt looks kind of good to me.”

Sheldon tried to peer inside through
a hole in the screen. He knocked twice,
then again, and was almost ready to
turn and leave when a voice called out,
"Come een, meester! “ЕШ, my frin'!”

Opening the door, which he discov-
ered was held only by the top hinge,
Sheldon walked into the shack. It was
nearly empty: a hammock, two chairs, a
dog lying in a corner, a garish poster of
an old man with white whiskers in a
black suit and stiff collar.

Ramon Torres was lying in the ham-
mock, wearing a Batman T-shirt, smok-
ing a cigarette.

Sheldon began smiling. He prided
himself on being a first-class negotiator.
An hour later, seated opposite each oth-
er in the two chairs (Paula stood), the
two men came to an agreement on the
duration of the expedition, the nature
and number of supplies.

“I give you a down payment on sup-
plies,” Sheldon said. “I pay in full after
checking your itemized list.”

“No. Not that way.” Ramon objected
in Spanish, because they communicat-
ed better in that language.

"Its the only way I go."

“I figure the cost and you pay me,”
Ramon insisted. “If it comes to less, I
give you back the difference.”

“My way is the only way I go.”

Reluctantly, the guide nodded.

“Now, about your fee.”

“You already know my fee

With a laugh, Sheldon said, “I know a
joke when I hear one. Let's talk serious-
ly.” He made Ramon an offer, then
spread both hands wide. “Take it or
leave it.”

“I won't take it.”

“Fine. How many guides are there on
this street? Ten? Twenty?”

“Not like me,” Ramon declared.
“With me, you get what you pay for.”

“I don't see people beating a path to
your door,” Sheldon said coldly. “Take
it or leave it.”

“I take it,” che guide mumbled grim-
ly. He had accepted half of the sum
asked for. He signed a paper to that ef-
fect. Finally, Ramon promised not to
feed his clients monkey and cayman
meat to save on food expenses and
pocket the difference. According to
Sheldon’s travel agent, it was the sort of
thing these Misahualli guides did.

At last, Sheldon demanded that the
guide stay completely sober on the trip.
Someone in Quito had told him the
Ecuadorians love to drink.

Ramon began smiling. “Don't worry,
man,” he said, “I don't drink. Iam hon-
est. I need your passports.”

Sheldon glanced at Paula.
understand,” he said to Ramon.

“Before leaving Misahualli, | register
you with the capitan. The authorities
must know who is in the jungle,” Ra-
mon explained. “Otherwise, you could
go in there and never come out and no-
body would know. Give me the pass-
ports and ГИ take care of it. Give me a
little gift for the capitan, too. So there
won't be a delay.”

Sheldon gave him their passports
and some money. “Is that enough?”

“No.”

Frowning, he handed over a couple
more bills.

They agreed to meet late in the day,
after Ramon had arranged for the sup-
plies. As they drank Cokes in a cantina,

T don't

Paula said to her husband, “I wonder
why you chose Ramon.”

“His shack was the poorest of the
bunch. I told myself, Here is a man I
can deal with.”

“Maybe you should have asked some-
опе about him.”

Sheldon laughed disdainfully. "Do
you think these people would tell me
the truth? I took him because he has a
need. It's that simple.”

“I don't know if you should have bar-
gained so hard, Shelly.”

“Why not? [ won.”

“That's the point. You could have let
him do a little better.”

“Why in hell should I do that? I make
my living not letting people do better.”

"[ think he's sore you beat him down
that way.” She added, after a pause, “In
front of me."

"Well, I made one concession. He
gets paid in full once we reach the jun-
gle. I let him have that one, because
why по”

Paula shook her head. "When you
told him, ‘I don't see people beating a
path to your door,’ the man visibly
flinched, You hurt him."

“I was stating my case, so what's
wrong in that? I'm not paying more
than I have to.”

“Then you made him promise not to
feed us monkey and alligator. You in-
sulted him, Shelly.”

"I let him know who's in charge,
that’s all.”

Paula was silenced, but later, after
they had gone back to check up on Ra-
mon's progress in outfitting the expe-
dition, she said to her husband, “I saw
the look he gave you, Shelly. I didn't
like it.”

But Sheldon was too busy checking
the supply list to respond.

Shortly after dawn, they met Ramon
Torres in front of a motorized canoe at
the riverbank. Sheldon wore a felt sa-
fari har, a khaki shirt with epaulets and
billowy cotton pants with the bottoms
stuffed inside hiking boots. Paula was
dressed the same way, except that her
hat had a veil of mosquito netting.

Ramon, a short and muscular man,
had on his Batman Tshirt, torn fa-
tigues, a baseball cap and sandals. He
sucked on a blackened corncob pipe
while thoughtfully appraising his cli-
ents. When they reached him, he gave
the passports back to Sheldon.

"You've loaded everything," Sheldon
said, pointing to the supplies already
stowed in the aft of the dugout. “I
thought I said 1 wanted to be present
when you did the loading."

Ramon smiled. "We can take every-
thing out and you can inspect it, and

(continued on page 100)

"Come here often?”

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PLAYBOY

100

THE 6114101

(continued from page 94)

“Sheldon smiled fraternally. What the hell; they
had both been with women last night.”

then we can put everything back in
again, but that takes time and it means
we'll be on the river after sunset, and
that can be dangerous because of float-
ing logs. Last year, a canoc hit onc after
dark and everyone drowned.”

Paula touched Sheldon’s arm. “Hon-
ey, lets get going.”

Не sighed and helped her into the
narrow boat.

The guide's Іше victory was soon
forgotten when they found themselves
chugging along the broad, muddy
Napo River with nipa and banana
palms lining the shore.

“It’s like the movies," Paula, who sat
behind her husband, whispered.

Indeed, it was, and Sheldon experi-
enced moments of pure joy as the ca-
noe moved alongside sand bars where
bleached logs lay half submerged like
dinosaur bones. He marveled at the
currents of the river, a bewildering
skein of contradictory forces. So much
water rippling along at different
speeds, displaying a glittering richness
of surface texture, gave the Napo a
dangerous, puzzling, vibrant look.

He was so busy looking that he
scarcely heard the guide, who was ex-
plaining why women and children were
lining the riverbank. They were pan-
ning for gold. Quijos Indians of
Chibcha stock had once fought the
Spanish with great courage, he
claimed. Now they sent their women-
folk out with sieves and bowls to work
long hours in the sand, hoping to sift
outa few specks of gold.

ignoring the implication of cultural
shame, Sheldon glanced over his shoul-
der at Paula, whose long brown hair was
blowing back in the river breeze. "Hav-
inga good time?" he asked with a smile.

"Wonderful!"

The hotel sat on a bluff and com-
manded a good view of the river up-
stream. The canoe arrived there after
sunset without meeting, Sheldon noted,
a single floating log. He and Paula hud-
dled under plastic raingear, shivering
beneath a moon whose light cut a
metallic path across the windswept
Napo.

There were only two other hotel
guests, a pair of young Italian wornen
who had been backpacking across
South America. A dinner table was set
in the dimly lit main building. The
menu was explained by the owner, a
skinny man who smelled of chicha, a

potent drink distilled from the yucca
plant (Ramon explained this to Shel-
don and challenged him to try some).
They could order chicken or roast cuj.

“That's guinea pig,” Sheldon told his
wife.

Paula made a face. "I had guinca pigs
for pets. I couldr't put their meat in my
mouth." She took the chicken.

“ТИ have cuy,” Sheldon said. “And а
glass of chicha.” Later, he praised the
guinea pig and called the chicha a
“weak brandy.”

After dinner, the owner and a couple
of Indians who had been sitting quietly
at another table began to sing. They
played a guitar, a bamboo flute and two
forks struck together. Apparently, this
was a nightly get-together. They had a
bottle of chicha and were passing it
around. Sheldon noted with satisfaction
that Ramon refused it. The Whites went
outside for a look at the moonlit river.
When they returned, the radio station
from Quito was playing a rumba, and
one of the Italian girls was dancing with
Ramon. Then she sat down and the
other danced with him.

Sheldon and Paula, with music at
their back, left the main building for
their cabin. They undressed without a
word, hearing the distant sound of folk
songs. Getting into bed, hovering
above her, Sheldon muttered tensely, “I
feel wild.”

“So do I.”

Taking her brutally, he was surprised
by Paula's eager response. Her love-
making was usually gentle, pleasant,
never blatantly wanton as it was
tonight. She thrilled him into imagin-
ing that he had picked up a strange ex-
ойс woman who asked nothing of him
but randy sex.

Afterward, as they lay side by side,
they heard laughter and loud music in
the distance.

“He'll sleep with one of the Italians,”
Paula said

“Ramon? Which one?”

“The taller one.”

“How do you know?”

“She was nervous. The other was just
enjoying herself.”

“Its the trip,” Sheldon declared. “It’s
doing something to us. You were never
like that before.”

“Neither were you. The trip's making
us feel . .. something”

“We're бес. We're like Ramon,” he
murmured against her check and felt
himself wanting her again.

Next morning, while she slept, he
took a shower and dressed, hearing
roosters crowing and some kind of ani-
mal rooting around in the brush. He
decided to take a little walk. Just as
he left his cabin, the door of the next
one opened and the taller Italian girl
came out. Their eyes met, she frowned
and strode rapidly down the walkway of
wooden slats. In her haste, she had left
the door ajar, and as Sheldon passed by
the cabin, he saw Ramon sitting naked
on the bed. Sheldon smiled fraternally.
What the hell; they were both men who
had been with women last night. But
Ramon did not return the smile. He
stared so coldly that Sheldon looked
away and continued down the walk.

By midmorning, the dugout was
loaded, a boatman hired from the hotel
started up the engine and the Whites
and their guide chugged up the Маро.

By midafternoon, the boatman head-
ed the canoe to shore. Sheldon and Ra-
mon hauled the gear out, the boatman
waved, and soon the three on the river-
bank were watching the long, slim boat
glide across the water, heading away,
and then they were alone.

Surveying the backpacks lined up
like bodies along the shore, Ramon
said, “Now we begin.”

Sheldon gave a little chuckle of antic-
ipation.

Paula stared thoughtfully at the re-
ceding boat.

.
And so it did begin. They struck out

across the jungle in an easterly direc-

tion that would eventually—perhaps in

three weeks—take them to the town of

Nuevo Rocafuerte. There they could

arrange for a plane to fly them back to
ito.

The first few days were slow going.
No amount of exercise could have pre-
pared them for the hardships they
faced within minutes of entering the
rain forest: mud, stinging leaves, a
moving veil of flies, suffocating heat,
the tangled root systems of intricate
trees. Ramon would go forward
through the bush, halt and wait for his
clients, his shirt dry, only a little mud
clinging to his boots. He would tell
them about the jungle while they stood
panting on a barely distinguishable
trail, trying to anchor themselves with-
in a sea of rank vegetation and whirling
insects. Ramon's serene mastery of this
boggy world annoyed Sheldon, whose
sweaty shirt was plastered to his back.

Ramon pointed out cream-colored
bechives clinging to tree trunks; they
were the hives of the warlike abispa that
attack anything going ncar their home
He bent down and with a stick agitated
а huge ant, called the conga, whose

(continued on page 160)

“And the pack is still bunched up behind number 407!”

101

Barry Cossey was ten yeors old when the family snapshot above was token during a holiday with his mother, father and younger sister,
Pam, оп the beach ct Great Yarmouth. Unbeknownst to his parents, Barry was already troubled about his sexual identity and spent much
of his time with Pam, playing with dolls and dressing up in women's clothes. By the time he wos 17 (above right), he had left home and
moved to London, where he was passing os a female working as a showgirl ot the Latin Quarter night club under the name of Caro-
line Cossey—and saving part of his £30-0-week salary for the sex-change operation he was convinced was the way to save his sanity.

MY STORY

After gender-reassignment surgery at Lon- : | Above, the jacket of Tula's new
don's Charing Cross Hospital in 1974, Caro- x ^ " book, recently published іп Eng-
line went to work os a photographer's W Кр > land. It's her second autobiagra-
model, adapting the name Tula ta avoid | U 5 phy; she used a copy of the first,

confusion with another model named Cara- z Ç Tulo: 1 Am o Womon, to breok the
line. She found herself much in demand os ор š news of her sex change to wealthy
a cover girl and ad-campaign spokes- : Jewish businessman Elias Fottol,
woman; few if опу of her associates were ` = whom she married in a high-saci-
aware of the secret that made the hecd- IEN me ety ceremony in 1989 (below). The
line of the Smirnoff vadka ad ot right ironic. хе = marriage, however, soon failed.

the perfect shape foroffthe
shoulder fashion.

Tim ЛИНИИ OF Л)

THE EXTRAORDINARY STORY OF A
BEAUTIFUL WOMAN WHO WAS BORN A BOY

personality By GREICHEN EDGREN

HEY wav have always been with us, these individuals who feel
at odds with the bodies in which they were born. Outwardly,
they appear to be male; inwardly, they are convinced that
they're female. (In rarer cases, the mismatch is reversed.)
Historians speak of such persons as being more or less ac-
cepted members of society in ancient Anatolia, Scythia,
Alexandria and elsewhere. Not umtil the latter half of this
century, however, was a name—transsexualism—given the
condition, and surgical means devised to reshape the shell of
the body to conform to the patient's inner perception. The drive that
compels the true transsexual to take such a drastic step is one of the
diagnostic clues that separate him/her from the transvestite, uho
identifies himself as male—and wants to remain one—but gets a sex-
ual frisson from dressing in women's clothing.

In 1953, an American ex-GI named George Jorgensen, Jr, un-
derwent the first highly publicized sex-change surgery, emerging
from a Copenhagen hospital as Christine Jorgensen. Thousands
have followed, among the better known being tennis star Renée
Richards, born Richard Raskind; British travel writer Jan Morris,
who as neuspaperman James Morris accompanied the 1953 expedi-
tion that conquered Mount Everest; and composer Walter Carlos,
who pioneered music for the synthesizer before becoming Wendy Car-
los—and coming out of the transsexual closet in a trail-blazing May
1979 "Playboy Interview.”

No longer taboo, the topic of transsexualism today turns up every-
where, from am episode of
"LA. Law" to “Donahue,”
from а public-television docu-
mentary to a nationwide con-
test for an Oprah Winfrey
look-alike, whose sponsors red-
facedly discovered that the
winner was а male in the proc-
ess of gender reassignment.

Although scientists now rec-
ognize the existence of the phe-
nomenon of transsexualism,
they aren't in agreement about
its causes. In yet another replay
of the nature-us.-nurture de-
bate, some authorities cite psy-
chological influences exerted by
parents, while others are com-

malities are sometimes found. Other studies have revealed that, in the
normal course of events, a male fetus is exposed to massive doses of
male hormone at the time his brain is taking shape. If something,
possibly stress or medication taken by the mother—hormonal therapy
and barbiturates have been implicated—interferes with that process,
the baby can be born with outwardly masculine sexual characteristics
but a feminine brain. Helshe is a transsexual—a human being who
feels trapped in the wrong body.

This is the story of such a person and of her metamorphosis from
man lo woman.

Barry Cosscy hated school in Brooke, the little village in
England's county of Norfolk where he was born. He didn't
enjoy the rough-and-tumble of the other boys games; the
bigger ones bullied him and called him sissy. His closest
companion was his sister, Pam, with whom he played dolls
and dressed up in their тит” clothes. As he grew into ado-
lescence and began to experience the budding of sexual
feelings, he feared that he might be homosexual.

It turned out to be much more complicated than that.

Today, the former Barry Cossey is Caroline Cossey—or, to
her friends in the modeling field, Tula —and a crusader for
the rights of her fellow transsexuals.

ТЕТ hadn't been aware of Tula's history before we met over
lunch in a trendy restaurant in London's Holland Park dis-
trict, it never would have
occurred to me that she
was anything other than
100 percent female. She's
tall (six feet), graceful, well
proportioned (37-25-37)
and drop-dead gorgeous;
her voice has just a trace of
huskiness and her ges-
tures, even her choice of
conversational topics, are
completely feminine. Ob-
viously, this woman thinks
like a woman.

The fact that some see
her as a freak, a victim of
mutilation, a seeker of

publicity still takes her by

ing to the conclusion that
transsexuals are born, mot
made. Chromosomal abnor-

Shortly after Tule (at left, above) appeared аз one of the Bond Girls
with Roger Moore cs 007 in the 1981 spy thriller For Your Eyes Only,
a British tabloid revealed her secret; “JAMES BOND GIRL WAS A BOY.”

surprise. “I can't under-
stand why people don’t re-
alize that my predicament

103

had nothing to do with choice," she
says. “I never шаз a man. I always felt I
was a woman. I just needed my body
changed to fit my self-image. I had to
do what I did. I know that I would
have finished up with my life if I hadn't
got medical help. But I never meant to
go public with my story My secret
would have gone to the grave with me
if the tabloids hadn't come out with it. I
spoke up to set the record straight, and
now Im speaking out for the rights of
transsexuals everywhere."

Tula's transformation didn't happen
overnight. She started taking female
hormones in her late teens, while
working as a dancer; next came breast-
augmentation surgery, “which helped
me earn more money, because 1 could
dance topless.” Her career as a show-
girl took her to many parts of the
world, but all the time, she lived with
the fear that someone would discover
the truth behind her masquerade. As
camouflage, she made herself a special
G string “with the strongest elastic 1
could find. It was painful, but I got
used to it.” Particularly awkward was
the time in Paris when she had to wash
off body make-up in communal facili-
ties backstage: “1 would shower in my
G string. and the other dancers put my
apparent shyness down to the fact that
I was English.” Finally, after years of
hormone treatments and psychological
counseling, Tula was ready for the ir-
revocable step: sex-change surgery, or,
to use the current euphemism, gender
reassignment. Before she could be ac-
cepted as a suitable candidate, doctors
administered various tests, including
one that revealed that she had been
born with a chromosomal abnormality.
Tula has three X and one Y chromo-
somes, instead of the normal patterns:
XY for males, XX for females.

“So I could never have been a nor-
mal man. I could never have fathered a
child, for instance. Chromosornally, my
body seemed to be at war with itself.”

“The operation took place in Lon-
don's Charing Cross Hospital on New
Year's Eve, 1974, and Tula went back to
Norfolk to convalesce at the home of
her parents—who, after their initial
shock at learning their son wanted to
become their (continued on page 158)

Tula hos never regretted the course of
treatment thot has changed her body into
one in which she feels ot home: thot of o
beautiful woman. She sees this feature os
vindication of that status: “It’s оп honor
to appear in Playboy. I'm very proud of it.”

PHOTOGRAPHY BY BYRON NEWMAN

106

it may be slightly outré, it may not be

politically correct, but not to ogle is not to live

9 “YOU'RE trying to look up her
HERE'S &
“What did you say?”

“I said, you're trying to

| look up Susan's skirt."
"I am not! I most certainly
am not!"

This exchange took place

when I was in first grade. As
| Y [ 1 remember it, we were
putting up Halloween deco-

rations. with Susan Sharp
standing on a chair and Betty Umberger and me handing crepe paper
and rhumbracks up to her, when Betty made the accusation. I was
acutely embarrassed. I was outraged by the injustice of Betty's remark;
I didn't think I had been trying to look up Susan's skirt. My memory
is still so bruised by the event that it insists I wanted to say something
like, "Don't you know I'm a nice boy, and I haven't even begun think-
ing thoughts like that?”

Forty years later, I have to confess that I possess this distinct memo-
ry of Susan Sharp’s legs in a plaid dress that I liked a lot. And as I re-
call Betty Umberger, she was a sensible and amiable girl, not a
finger-pointing sort of person. It now seems likely that I was guilty as
charged. The accuracy of the accusation was probably what made it
sting so much

That episode marks the beginning of my awareness of an inclination
to look at women “that way.” It doesn’t have to be looking up skirts or
looking down blouses to be looking with an erotic content, to be, in
short, ogling.

But the past few years, I've had some disturbing insights into my
ogling inclination. It suddenly came to me one day that if a young
woman smiled at me, it did not necessarily mean she might be willing
to go to bed with me. I don’t even remember the occasion of that light-
ning bolt, but when it struck, it was a disillusionment of a high order.
And with that flash of truth came the understanding that for years 1
had assumed that if a woman presented me with a pleasant expres-
sion, it meant that sexual negotiation with her was possible. So at least
some of what was involved in my ogling was a shopping process, a sort-
ing out of the ones who would from the ones who wouldn't. This had
Іше to do with anybody's actually going to bed with anybody else;
gathering the data was usually rewarding for its own sake—that one
wouldn't, that one would, that one wouldn't and, ah, yes, that one
would. But that I held such an assumption and behaved in such a way,
even if in the privacy of my own brain, seems to me both comical and
shameful; it also seems to me simply a characteristic of the species;
male and female Homo sapiens are constructed to begin exploring
mating suitability through eye contact and facial expression. So al-
though I may disapprove of my ogling inclination and term it primi-
tive, its origins are the ordinary working out of biological destiny.

Another insight that came to me along this line of inquiry was that

article By DAVID HUU B B EE

ILLUSTRATION BY OLIVIA OE BERAROIMS

PLAYBOY

my recognizing beauty in a woman
drew me toward wanting to possess
her—and by that I mean possess. The
impulse seems connected to my earliest
sexual fantasies, which had to do with
having individual females the way I had
my toys—holding them exclusively for
myself, playing with them, controlling
their every action and doing with them
as I pleased.

Sull more disturbing was my realiza-
tion that merely witnessing a woman's
beauty made me feel that I had some
actual claim to possessing her. Just to
see а pretty woman was, to some extent,
to feel that she belonged to me. Yes, I
know that versions of this feeling can
lead to kidnaping, murderous jealousy,
obsession, fixation. But my guess is that
at least the shadow of that impulse is
present in the psyches of most hetero-
sexual males. It is the license claimed
by those men who pinch a girl's ass оп
the street or who lean out of a car win-
dow to shout at her, “Hey, baby, want to
fuck?" How else can we account for
such overwhelmingly negative sexual
suategies? If a man, even a crude man,
really meant to initiate a sexual rela-
tionship, would he do it with a pinch or
ashout from a car window? So why does
he act that way? He acts out of the pow-
erful illusion of possession; he behaves
that way because a circuit of his brain
tells him he has a right to do it. And in-
terestingly enough, he acts that way be-
cause he knows it won't work, because
he can be sexually aggressive without
having to risk sexual performance.

A final late-arriving insight about my
ogling is that when I see a woman's
breast or see up her skirt, I am pulled
toward an even deeper and more irra-
tional illusion, the fancy that something
intimate has been exchanged, that car-
nal knowledge bas passed between the
woman and me. Maybe an exchange
has taken place if the woman has will-
ingly offered the view, but it’s more of-
ten the case that I've stolen the sight. I
can't really say that I know what to
make of this phenomenon, except that
it has immense potential for misunder-
standing between the scer and the
seen. Such a misunderstanding might
provoke a violent response from some
men, though in my ovn case, I must say
that I find the experience oddly pacify-
ing: IFI see a woman's breast, I'm likely
to feel tender toward her, possessively
tender, yes, but at least not violently in-
clined toward her.

‘Once, coming up a set of subway
steps in midtown Manhattan, I looked
up to see a woman standing with her
back to the staircase railing, a woman a
couple of yards from me wearing a
miniskirt and no underpants. I didn't
stop in my tracks to continue looking,
but I did slow my pace considerably,

and when I got to the street, I exam-
ined the woman with some care, a bot-
Че blonde, around 30, with a hard,
heavily made-up face. Her buttocks had
expressed a greater innocence and
deeper humanity than her face. For al-
most 20 years, I've remembered her as
a stranger toward whose backside I felt
a baffling surge of tenderness.

Ina published essay, I once confessed
the following:

Walking on 56th Street one aft-
ernoon, I noticed that the young
woman beside me, а stranger
whom 1 perceived to be dressed in
high fashion, wore her blouse un-
buttoned in such a way that one of
her breasts was wholly visible to
me. I walked beside her long
enough to decide she wasn't a
Prostitute; finally, I couldn’t stop
myself from asking her, “Excuse
me, but why is your blouse unbut-
toned like that?” and she delivered
me a look like a hard right to the
solar plexus. In such moments, I
am so baffled by women that my
teeth ache.

Several female friends of mine found
my behavior and my writing about it of-
fensive. They took pains to share their
thoughts with me, but the most reward-
ing response to my confession came in
a letter from a gentleman from Stony
Brook, New York:

Your last paragraph begs belief:
You were baffled by her response?
You “walked beside her long
enough to decide she wasn't a
prostitute” (doubtless peering fer-
vently at her exposed breast)?
What alternative reasons did you
conjecture to explain her unbut-
toned blouse so that you had to ask
which was correct? And did it real-
ly not occur to you that, in asking,
you were being an offensive ass?

"This was a chastising that I found so
deeply satisfying that I almost wrote to
the gentleman to thank him for it. But I
also felt oddly righteous.

Mike, a character suffering no ogling
confusion in Irwin Shaw's The Girls in
Their Summer Dresses, makes a case for
looking at women as a healthy-minded
activity:

I look at everything. God gave
me eyes and I look at women and
men in subway excavations and
moving pictures and the little
flowers of the field. I casually in-
spect the universe. . . . I look at
women . . . correct. I don't say it’s
wrong or right. . . . I love the way
women look. One of the things 1
like best about New York is the bat-
talions of women. When I first

came to New York from Ohio, that
was the first thing 1 noticed, the
million wonderful women all over
the city. I walked around with my
heart in my throat. . . . I still love to
walk along Fifth Avenue at three
o'clock on the east side of the street
between Fiftieth and Fifty-seventh
streets. They're all out then, shop-
ping in their furs and their crazy
hats, everything all concentrated
from all over the world into seven
blocks—the best furs, the best
clothes, the handsomest women,
out to spend money and feeling
good about it. . . . I like the girls in
the offices. Neat, with their суе-
glasses, smart, chipper, knowing
what everything is about. I like
the girls оп Forty-fourth Street
at lunchtime, the actresses, all
dressed up on nothing a week. I
like the salesgirls in the stores, рау-
ing attention to you first because
you're a man, leaving lady cus-
tomers waiting. . . . I feel as though
I'm at a picnic in this city. I like to
sit near the women in the theaters,
the famous beauties who've taken
six hours to get ready and look it.
And the young girls at football
games, with the red cheeks, and
when the warm weather comes, the
girls in their summer dresses. . . .
That's the story.

I want to identify with Mike. I want to
look at women, and 1 want women to
take my looking as a sign that I appre-
ciate them more decply than the men
who don't. But I lack Mike's clear feel-
ings on the matter.

Of course, much of what I'm talking
about is manners. When you're about to
go out to dinner to celebrate your wed-
ding anniversary and your wife comes
downstairs in her pretty new dress and
you give her а whistle and a look and
tell her, "Lady, 1 can hardly wait to help.
you take that dress off" who can say
you're not the admirable diplomat of
that occasion? And if you notice, as she
comes into your office to discuss the
grant proposal she's writing with you,
that your female co-worker has just
gotten her hair done, is it not appropri-
ate to remark, “Hey, Genevieve, you
look terrific today”? The social code en-
courages such acceptable looking. But
if your female co-worker comes into
your office in her pretty new dress and
you give her a whistle and tell her,
“Genevieve, I can hardly wait to help
you take that dress ов," nowadays,
you're likely to find yourself quoting
Shaw at a sexual-harassment hearing.

.
As the father of a teenaged daughter,
T've come to understand that the matter
(continued on page 169)

“Maybe I can chip out of this stuff, and then get home with а
three iron . . . but even if I carry the water hazard and
the sand traps, Гт still staring at double bogey. Wanna fuck?"

108

SAY IT AGAIN, YAM

miss septernber has а message:
there's more to life than just being pretty

TTENTION, REGULAR GLYS: Samantha Dorman, our Miss September,

would rather hang out with you than with the jet setters she met

in the modeling world. Especially if you're interested in saving
the environment. It's not that she regrets her seven years of modeling:
“It taught me what my values really are. Now I realize that Га rather
spend a year saving birds from an oil slick than posing for a camera.
My taste in men has also changed. When I was younger, I admired
flashy guys in expensive cars, but along the way, I found out that most
men like that are jerks. Now I'd much rather be with an ordinary guy
who has a good sense of humor.” Sam, as she prefers to be called, was
a 16-year-old student at Keswick Christian High School in her home

PHOTOGRAPHY BY RICHARD FEGLEY

112

town of St. Petersburg, Florida, when a rep from а
Tampa modeling agency discovered her in the pop-
corn line at a local movie theater. Soon she was work-
ing regularly, modeling everything from skis to mink
coats. "The mink assignment was in the summer, in
very hot weather, so I didn't wear anything under the
coat except a bra and panties. I felt kind of silly wear-
ing a fur coat and underwear," she recalls. Having
risen through the modeling ranks to the glitzy Wil-
helmina Agency in New York (you've seen her in diet
Coke and facial-scrub T V commercials), Sam had but.
one unfulfilled professional goal: posing for Playboy.
So on a visit to Chicago to see her then boyfriend, a
professional football player, she contacted Associate

Photography Editor Michael Ann Sullivan. No fool she, Michael Ann immediately dispatched ше 5'10" Sam to our photo stu-
dio to pose for the cover of our July issue, which features The Height Report, a pictorial on tall women. Her dream fulfilled,
Sam plans to enter college and major in marine biology—with a minor in communications. Her interest in working with
wildlife stems from her childhood: “As long as I can remember, my mother and my older sister have been rescuing and adopt-
ing lost and injured animals—cats, dogs, whatever. When I was little, I wanted to be a veterinarian.” While waiting to enter
school, Sam has been busy working for her father, a Christmas-tree farmer and restaurateur, at his new barbecue eatery in
North Carolina. “It has the best barbecued-pork sandwich in the world,” she claims. Just what we ordinary guys ordered

116

"When I was c little girl,“ says Som, “I used ta sneok peeks ot ту dad's copies of Playboy. Those women
laoked so perfect to me, olmost like goddesses. The idea of ever becoming a Playmate seemed impossible.
How do I feel now that “т a Playmate? I wort believe it until 1 actually see the magazine.” Sam, who ployed
three sports in high school, gets up at five daily ta run. "I'm pretty fast,” she admits. "Long legs help."

PLAYMATE DATA SHEET

ware: Samantha bea Dorman 2
BUST: Dio — WAIST:. al5 — HIPS: Ale —
HEIGHT: A JO" WEIGHT: 185
BIRTH DATE; 2-21-Ш4 BIRTHPLACE: —Lokelund/ Eh ~
вивиттозв: To Continue modeling, баса my degree —
зе Marine Biology Tp stay happy and Always healthy.
TURN-ONS: _ аме lino. Pink Roses Animals, Sunsets Good _
e i n № К ienis.
TURN-OFFS: Environmental Abuse Ionorance People who ea
le trusted.
PEOPLE 1 ADMIRE: My Mother and Father, Tacques Cousteau
Jane Goodall.

FAVORITE FOODS:

Р AS E қ
FAVORITE actors: N\ecyl Streep Sean Connery,

Shirley Machaine, Robect De Niro-

FAVORITE MUSICIANS: L YW lite bit of evergihi д. guess it just deocols

On mu mood.

1 m ALAS T ouo

Сесе е in “Же Форт Whe being
Sixth Grade. a damsel in distress.

Read

Sor th
High S or е.

choa Dance.

PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES

Harlen, I want you to buy me a d
Texan boomed to his attorney. “That wife of
mine ain't behavin' right. She's ту woman and
she's supposed to do what I say.
“Well, R.J., a wife isn't exactly property. you
know.” rhe lawyer said. "You don't own her the
y you own an oil well."
Maybe not" R.J. conceded, “but 1 d.
well oughta have exclusive drilling rights.

Sign allegedly spotted on the edge of the
Florida Kennedy compound: TRESPASSERS wits. ВЕ

sion ste,
+
` Ñ

An animal lover was browsing in a pet store
when he noticed а beautiful тупа bird. in
age. "Hello, pretty bird," he chirped

crew you, buddy,” squawked the bird
The manager went over to apologize. ex-
plaining that the bird was hopelessly foul-
mouthed.

Let me take him home for a week,” the cus-
tomer said, "and 1 promise he'll be trained and
polite when he returns

A week later, the customer took the myna
back and assured the manager that һе had
trained the bird with the help of suings tied to
cach of its legs. “Try pulling the suing on the
right leg," he suggested

The manager tugged at the string and the
bird said, “Good morning, sir” He gave a little
jerk to the other string and the bird said,
"Lovely day, sir."

“That's amazing, just amazing!” the man:
er exclaimed. “What would happen if 1 pulled
both strings?”

“rd fall on my fuckin’ ass, vou stupid
schmuck!” the bird screeched.

How is a football game like oral sex? Whoever
wins the toss usually elects to receive.
Two retirees sat down for breakfast. “How you
Sam?" one asked.
m exhausted,” way the reply
muscle in the bathroom this mor
"That shouldn't make you so tired.”

“It would if you pulled it a hundred fifty
times.”

“I pulled a

How many pro-lifers does it take to screw in a
light bulb? Six: one to screw in the bulb and
five to testify that it was lit as soon as the screw-
ing started,

Good evening, ladies.” Sherlock Holmes said
as he passed three women eating bananas on a
park bench.
“Did vou know them?” Dr. Watson asked.
"No," Holmes replied, “Гуе never met the
nun, the prostitute or the bride we just passed."
"Good Lord, Holmes, how in the world did
you know all that?”

Elementary, my dear Watson. The nun ate
the banana by holding it in one hand and using
the fingers of the other to properly break the
fruit into small pieces. The prostitute,” he con-
tinued, “grabbed it with both hands and
crammed the whole thing into her mouth.”

Amazing!” Watson exclaimed, “But how did
you know the third was a newlywed?”

“Because she held it in one hand and pushed
her head toward it with the other”

Whats the definition of Iraqi air space? The
а between Saddam Hussein's ears.

The 72 ld. mohel was horrified to find
his hands beginning to shake. a serious liability
in the circumcision business. He decided to see
if he could get an insurance policy

А week later, his agent called him. “Moishe,”
he said. “I've got some good news and some
bad news.”

“Lets have it,” the nervous тоне! replied.

“Тһе good news is, I can get you a million-
dollar policy for one hundred doll
Sighing with relief, the mohel asked, “5
whats the bad news?”

There's a two-inch deductible."

Heard а funny one lately? Send it on а post-
card, please, to Party Jokes Editor, Playboy.
680 North Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, Illinois
60611. $100 will be paid lo the contributor
whose card is selected. Jokes cannot be returned,

“All right, so it didn't work out so well in Hollywood—you're
still the best damn cop on the force!"

еда‏ ر

123

FALL AND
WINTER

FASHION
FORECAST

classic looks аге
heating up in these
cool economic times

fashion By HOLLIS WAYNE

WITH PRICES of men's clothes still on the
rise and the economy sluggish, now's
the time to opt for the classics—quality
styles that stand the test of time. Here's
the rundown on what's making head-
lines. Suits, sports coats and outerwear:
Traditional colors, such as blue and
gray, are back and hot; so are the olive
hues and forest greens. The silhouette

Head-to-toe blue is the cool look for fall.
The autfit at left features a woal-and-vis-
cose twa-ta-buttan double-breasted suit
(anather style that's making a comeback),
$850, and a cattan-broaddath dress shirt,
$95, bath by Hugo Bass; plus а silk packet
square, by Salvatore Ferragama, $60; a
silk twill topestry-print fie, by Joseph Ab-
boud, about $70; and nubuck lace-up
shoes, by Charles Jourdan, $170. Can't
get enaugh of the new blues? Check aut
the accessories pictured at right. Clockwise
from for right: Patchwark silk scarf with cir-
cle-and-holf-moan pattern, by Dolce 8.
Gabbana, $275. Silk deca-print Не, by
Vestimenta, $68. Silk Jacquard star-print
tie, by Hugo 8ass, $65. Chranametric wotch
with leather band, by Breitling, $2300.
Sterling-silver cuff links with fired-enamel
center, by Kerry MocBride, $140. Leather
agenda, by Louis Vuitton, $272. Nubuck
shoes, by To Boot, $225. Tortoise eyeglass
frames, by Eagle Eyewear, about $120.

for tailored jackets is soft and slouchy,
with sloping shoulders. Double-breast-
ed models now feature a higher button
stance and a fit that's close yet comfort-
able. (The single-breasted three-button
jacket is also making a comeback.) For
something different, check out the
overjacker—an unconstructed, оуег-
sized coat that's roomy enough го wear
Over a sweater or a sports jacket. Earth-
toned nubuck or suede car-coat-length
Outerwear is also a wise buy, as it can be
worn with a suit or with jeans. Shiris and

For thot first chill, before yau break out
your winter cat, try layering to keep you
worm and looking sharp. At left: A lamb's-
waol single-breasted three-button over-
jacket, $490, with a nylon four-button
houndstooth sports coat, $750, a cash-
mere-and-Angora geometric-patterned
cardigan vest, $400, a rayon butiondown
sport shirt, $120, wide-wale-corduroy
pleated and cuffed trousers, $185, and silk
knit tie, $62, all by Joseph Abboud; plus a
nubuck Western-style beit, by Jandreani
Americana, $36; and nubuck shaes, by
Giargia Armani, $390. Move on ta greener
accessory pastures with same of the oc-
couterments on the following page. Clock-
wise from top right: Calfskin Twenties retro
shoeshine kit with brass closures, by Gold-
pfeil, from the Tradition Callection, $995.
Fringed cashmere scarf with diamand
print, by Loro Piana, $250. Sunglasses, by
Oliver Peoples, $215. Suede cashmere-
lined gloves, by Loro Piana, $395. Foun-
tain pen with high-gloss finish and gold
trim, by Waterman Pen, $290. Calfskin ad-
dress book, by Goldpfeil, from the Tradi-
tion Collection, about $70. Suede face-up
ankle boots, by Andrea Getty for Jon-
dreoni, 5220. Swiss-cattan packet square,
Persian-rug pattern, by Ferrell Reed, $30.

Where &
How to Buy оп роде 17B.

sweaters: Look for Nineties versions of
the Sixties patchwork sport shirt (see
Style on page 28). And for dress shirts,
consider soft-collared models in solid
blue or white and at least one with
French cuffs, because cuff links are
once again an important accessory.
Layering is one of the sharpest styles
this season, but don't run out and buy a
new wardrobe just to achieve the look.
Instead, mix what you already have—a
sports jacket and a chambray shirt, for
example—with a new sweater vest. For
a no-fail combo, team a textured and
patterned cardigan or pullover sweater
with melange-tweeded trousers. Shoes
and accessories: Pick patterned ties in
shades of blue, a pair of green-sucde
boots and some classic blue-suede dress
shoes that Elis would have envied.

Left: Nothing's sharper than this lambskin-
suede two-color cor coat with notch collar,
potch pockets and quilted lining, about
$1150, melange-twill wool/rayon pleated
trousers with side-buckled Hollywood
waistband, about $200, ond melange
bouclé-knit rayon/wool crew-neck sweater,
$110, ой by Bill Robinson; plus suede loce-
up desert boots with leather lining and
leather soles, by Cole-Hacn, about $245.
Outdoor clothes ore looking better and
better: At right, a nubuck woterproof hunt-
ing coat with cotton corduroy collar and
alpaca-and-cotion-twill lining, $775, wool
herringbone double-pleoted trousers,
$150, both by Timberland; а multicolored
cotton buttondown potchwork sport shirt,
by Dolce В Gabbona, $350; and a sod-
die-leather belt with double loops ond
о pewter buckle, by Halcyon, about $75.

sports By GARY COLE

BEFORE WE BEGIN, we want to make some
promises: We promise not to refer to
any football game as "the mother of"
anything. We promise not to compare
ineptly thrown footballs to Scud mis-
siles and we will studiously avoid
any discussion of General Norman
Schwarzkopf's potential as a coach.
Further, you won't find a single Zeke
Mowatt Patriot missile joke. And we'll
resist any diatribe about N.EL. com-
missioner Paul Tagliabue's boo-boo
over the Phoenix/Super Bowl site/
Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday brou-
haha. We also promise not to bore
you with the final standings of last
spring's first World League of America
Football season.

As long as we're at it, let's skip the

PLAYBOY'S
PRO
FOOTBALL
FORECAST

the winners and losers in
this season's n.f.l. wars

howling over how overpaid some foot-
ball players are and how, off the field,
not all would qualify for Mister Rogers'
neighborhood. Some players are mod-
els of comportment, some are jerks. We
shouldn't expect them to be saints un-
less they play in New Orleans.

OK, you're asking, if I'm not going to
read about that stuff, what else is there?
How about some rule changes enacted
by N.FL. owners in the off season? The
Ickey Shuffle, invented by Cincinnati
fullback Ickey Woods to toast his occa-
sional successes on the field, was ruled a
no-no. However, the rule doesn't affect
the Benson Boogie, that celebratory
dance invented by choreographer and
Saints owner Tom Benson.

And, oh, yeah, no talkin’ after the

game. Participants, who include play-
ers, coaches, trainers, doctors and ball
boys, and who may or may not include
the guys who hold the sticks along the
side lines, shall not fraternize іп the
middle of the field when the game is
over. Offenders will be fined. According
to New Orleans Saints general manager
Jim Finks, chairman of the competition
committee, the rule enforcement was
needed то eliminate postgame "con-
ventions,” where information—about
the best restaurants in town—was un-
doubtedly being exchanged. Finks said
that sincerely emotional reunions, such
as those between players and/or coach-
es now on opposing teams, can still be
held off the field, outside the dressing
rooms—presumably because N.EL.
dressing rooms are so full of female re-
porters. He said nothing about where
insincere reunions could be held.

The in-the-grasp rule was also
amended. Instead of whistling a play
dead as soon as a quarterback is clearly
in the grasp and control of a tackler,
officials can now wait to stop play until
the safety of the quarterback is in jeop-
ardy—either from an approaching sec-
ond tackler or from someone strolling
onto the field with a firearm.

Then there's the Mark Carrier rule,
drawn up after the Bears scored a draft-
day coup last season by negotiating
with three prospective picks and con-
cluding a dea! with one, defensive back
Carrier—before he was selected. The
coup looked even sweeter when Carrier
went on to become N.F.C. Defensive
Rookie of the Year. The new rule pro-
hibits teams from negotiating with po-
tential draft picks before actually
selecting them—unless a team owns the
first over-all pick, or is moments from
selecting a player on draft day, or finds
a way to sneak around the rule when
nobody's looking.

Now, with the new rules straight,
what else is there? Well, we could always
take a look at this season's likely win-
ners and losers. And, remember, we
didn't promise not to make fun of Bud-
dy Ryan.

It has been seven long years since an
A.EC. team won the Super Bowl. After
years of Broncos futility, itwas the Bills"
turn in Super Bowl XXV. They lost, but
it was no blowout. Now the big guys
from the N.F.C. are growing wary. "The
Bills play D like an N.EC. club," a few
have remarked. A few other А.ЕС.
teams—the Chiefs, the Dolphins, the
Raiders—aren't far behind. It won't be
long before the Lombardi Trophy,

With only seconds left in Super Bowl XXV, Buffalo Bills kicker Scott Norwood
pushes what would have been the winning field goal wide right. The Giants won
that game 20-19, but the Bills are our favorites to win this season's Super Bowl.

ILLUSTRATION BY CHUCK WALKER.

131

THIS SEASON’S WINNERS

AMERICAN FOOTBALL CONFERENCE

Eastern Division.

Central Division

Western Divisio:

Wild Cards . ...Miami Dolphins

Houston Oilers

Los Angeles Raiders

A.F.C. Champion... sassssnsnsc escis Buffalo Bills
NATIONAL FOOTBALL CONFERENCE

Eastern Division „Washington Redskins

Central Division ..Chicago Bears

Western Divi San Francisco 49ег<

Wild Cards . New York Giants

nesota Vikings

Philadelphia Eagles

N.F.C. Champion.............-.....-Washington Redskins

SUPER BOWL CHAMPION......................8uffalo Bills

PLAYBOY'S 1991 PRE-SEASON
ALL-PRO TEAM

OFFENSE
Joe Montana, San Francisco.
Barry Sanders, Detroit ..
Neal Anderson, Chicago
Jerry Rice, San Francisco
Andre Rison, Atlanta.........
Keith Jackson, Philadelphia
Randall McDaniel, Minnesota
Bruce Matthews, Houston
Jim Lachey, Washington
Paul Gruber, Tampa Bay.
Kent Hull, Buffalo ....

...Quarterback
.Running Back
.Running Back
Wide Receiver

DEFENSE
Reggie White, Philadelphia ..
Bruce Smith, Buffalo ..
Ray Childress, Houston..
Derrick Thomas, Kansas City
Charles Haley, San Francisco
Vaughan Johnson, New Orleans
David Little, Pittsburgh...
Darrell Green, Washingtor
Rod Woodson, Pittsburgh.
Joey Browner, Minnesota.
Mark Carrier, Chicago...

шісіде Linebacker
Outside Linebacker

SPECIALTIES
Nick Lowery, Kansas City
Sean Landeta, New York Giants
David Meggett, New York Giants
Clarence Verdin, Indianapolis
Reyna Thompson, New York Giants

Kick Returner
-Punt Returner
-Special Teams

symbol of pro-football dominance, sits
on the mantel of an A.F.C. franchise.

EASTERN DIVISION
AMERICAN FOOTBALL CONFERENCE

New England Patriots...

For the Buffalo Bills, last season was
nearly perfect—15 wins in 19 regular-
and post-season games, dream seasons
for quarterback Jim Kelly and running
back Thurman Thomas. But two little
words have echoed in the ears of Bills
coach Marv Levy since the clock
showed 0:01, with the is down 20-19
to the Giants last January 27: wide
right. That's where Scott Norwood
kicked the ball as the season ended.
Still, Norwood isn't to blame for Buffa-
lo's Super Bowl defeat. The Giants
found the perfect way to defend the
Bills' explosive offense: They didn't let
it on the field, holding the ball for more
than 40 minutes.

Going into this season, the Bills arc
full of talent and hope. Kelly, who threw
24 touchdown passes and just nine in-
terceptions, is backed up by the capable
Frank Reich. Thomas, who finished just
seven yards behind league leader Barry
Sanders, can be spelled by underrated
Kenneth Davis. Wide receiver Andre
Reed is young and swift; [ames Lofton,
old and swift. The offensive line, an-
chored by center Kent Hull, allowed
only 27 sacks last season.

On defense, Bruce Smith is really as
good as he says he is. Cornelius Bennett
should have a super year at linebacker.
The Bills drafted Henry Jones from
Illinois to beef up the defensive
backfield.

The Bills must maintain their one-
happy-family aumosphere—a welcome
relief last season after previous club-
house bickering. The defensive line
must get stronger up the middle so it
can stop the power-possession style of
attack the Giants threw at the Bills. All
the pieces are there—all Buffalo has to
do is do it.

The Miami Dolphins made the play-
offs last season for the first time since
1985, squelching rumors that coaching
legend Don Shula was looking for a re-
tirement condo next door to Tom
Landry. Shula seems to have patched
things up with Dan Marino, the quar-
terback with the perfect-fiting gloves.
Marino, who in recent years expressed
a desire to be traded to a Super Bowl
contender, has evidently decided the
Dolphins may now be one. And he may
well be the reason. Marino led his team
to a respectable 12-4 season and a

(continued on page 170)

JOU ARE MEJO YOO Dai
„еы

MARTINI (LƏW3eR, 1991)

EVIAN (FILM STUDENT, 1989)
Lite BeeR (NURSe, 1985)
WING COOLER ( LIBRƏRIƏN , 1983)
LUDeS (SINGER, 1981)

ARMANI SVIT

| | (investment FUND

MANAGER, 1990)

ALL- BLACK WaRDROBe
CRePorTeR, 1988)

Hawaiian SHIRT
(TRAVEL AGENT, 1985)

FILMS MITA SvB-
TITLES (MUSIC
Teacher, 1988)
FILMS WITH Space
ацено (PHARMACIST,
1983)
FILMS WITH
GYNECOL LCAL
Ctose-upS
(Ревғормақс
ARTIST, 1982.

WINGTIPS (авситест,
1220)
ReeBokS ( PUBLICIST, 1987)

SaNbaLS (PHoTo=
GREPHER, 1982) a

OBSessioN (ар EXEC, 1989)
DRAKKƏR NOIR (MobeL, 1988)
FOLO (STEWARDESS, 1984)
LecTRic SHave (PHYSICIST, 1982.)

Cactus (REPORTER, 1989)
FERNS CDIeTICIAN, 1983)

Jazz (EDIToR, 1988)

New age ( Poer/
А] besrət HYGIENIST,
7 1986)
SHowWTunes

(2стезѕ 1983)

E) ratero Dean

(штеннкер,191) Се

134

a microsoft's boy billio:
PLAYBOY PROFILE

NOT LONG AGO, on one of his infrequent vacations, William H.
Gates III lay soaking up sun on an exotic Brazilian beach,
surrounded by a sea of distractions, including Brazil's fabled
women. Normally, it would be an idyllic setting for an eligible
bachelor, particularly one who is America's youngest self-
made multibillionaire. A chance to swim and party with some
of the locals—but most of all, a chance to relax and let his
mind go blank.

Unless you're Bill Gates.

For the 35-year-old chairman of Microsoft, the world's
largest computer-software company, vacations are a prob-
lem. Once, he considered them a sign of weakness, occasions
to miss out on irretrievable opportunities for Microsoft to
outdo the competition. Now he'll grudgingly take pleasure
trips, but only after assigning them motifs.

“Оле of our trips had a physics theme," remembers Ann
Winblad, a former girlfriend. "We collected tapes of guys like
Richard Feynman and read all
sorts of books." In Brazil, while the
sun shone and beautiful women ca-
vorted around him, Gates buried
his nose in Molecular Biology of the
Gene, by James D. Watson.

The single-mindedness that
drives Gates to turn a vacation into
study Hall lias also made Шіш--а
his company—the most powerful
force in the world of computer
software. Microsoft will probably
generate sales of 1.6 billion dollars
this year, more than its top
four competitors combined. “He's
the single most influential figure
in the computer industry" said
The Wall Street Journal.

"Gates reminds me of the 19th Century industrial barons
who, by force of vill and business genius, built the oil, steel
and banking monopolies," vrote analyst Stewart Alsop.

The computer industry is also full of people who think that
Gates has те too successful for his own good—and
theirs. Apple Computer is suing Microsoft, claiming its best-
selling Windows 3.0 program violates Apple's copyright.
Cates's lengthy alliance with IBM, which served as the
bedrock for Microsoft's success, has been severed, and IBM
has switched from patron to competitor. But those are minor
inconveniences compared with the biggest problem Cates
faces. The Federal Trade Commission has launched an inves-
tigation into Microsoft's alleged monopolistic and unfair
business practices.

While the FTC won't comment and Microsoft claims the
probe is limited to one development arrangement it had with
IBM that has since been disbanded, other software publish-
ers claim to have been interviewed by the FTC. They say the
investigation is much broader and a few even predict that
omnipotent Microsoft may ultimately be split into two weak-
er companies. That prospect, while grim to Gates, has left
some competitors smiling.

"Bill Gates is a megalomaniac,” one software manufactur-

ге is being forced to grow up the hard way

er told the Los Angeles Times when the FTC probe was
announced. "[He] wants to win at everything he does."

"Bill wants to have as much of the software industry as he
can swallow,” said another. “And he's gota very big appetite.”

“Microsoft throws its weight around in unpleasant ways
sometimes,” added an industry analyst. “But just being suc-
cessful isn't illegal.”

From the outcry against him, you'd think Gates was the
robber baron of the information age. But not everyone
agrees with that assessment.

“He's one part Albert Einstein, one part John McEnroe
and one part General Patton,” says Heidi Roizen, a friend
and competitor.

Gates pauses for a moment when told that description.
“That's very complimentary,” he says with a smile. “Must be
somebody who likes me.”

Со ahead, call Bill Саїез а пета.
The Wall Street Journal did. “Twice.
On its front page.

Gates wears thick, boxy glasses;
his characteristically uncombed
sandy brown hair shrouds his fore-
head and obscures his eyebrows.
His face has lost some of its boyish-
ness fiom years of obsessive over
work. His chin doubles and he
could use some color to offset the
gray indoor pallor. It's not likely
he'd be noticed across a crowded
room.

“His mom used to color-coordi-
nate his clothes, like Garanimals-
type things, pin them together,"
recalls Winblad fondly. “So he'll be
beige one day, green the next. Sometimes his clothes are
even the wrong size.” Once, Gates arrived at Winblad's North
Carolina beach house for a vacation—without a suitcase. She
took him shopping at the Ben Franklin store in Kitty Hawk,
purchasing four pairs of four-dollar shorts. "He wore those
shorts for two years,” she says.

Not surprisingly, most meals are consumed at Gates’s desk.
At home, he gravitates toward take-out pizza and Spaghet-
tiOs, and when he does go out for dinner, he doesn't travel
far, usually hitting a Thai restaurant near the Microsoft head-
quarters in Redmond, Washington. He hasn't eaten meat for
four years—one of his self-imposed tests of discipline, like
not watching TV. Over the years, as befits a billionaire, he has
developed at least one sophisticated habit: drinking Dom.
Pérignon. He keeps half a dozen bottles in à
all times. But if you spill some around him, don't be sur-
prised if he quickly estimates the dollar value of your waste.
(The average faux pas is approximately seven dollars.)

Actually, Gates is more prototype than stereotype; he's the
nerd fully matriculated. He isn't uncoordinated, bereft of
social graces or shy with women. But he is eccentric. Steve
Ballmer, a senior Microsoft executive and close friend,
remembers when he and Gates (continued on page 146)

By David Rensin

ILLUSTRATION BY DAVID LEVINE.

THE BARBI TWINS ARE A
COUPLE OF DOLLS YOU'LL
NEVER OUTGROW

SEEING
DOUBLE

Ottywoop began seeing double late in 1989. That's

when a hugely voluptuous billboard went up on

Sunset Boulevard—a goddess-sized pair of blonde,
nearly nude beauties over two mysterious words: BARBI
Twins. Who were they? No one seemed to know, but their im-
pact was instant. Dazzled motorists turned Sunset into а
small-scale demolition derby. The
billboard, stage one of the twins’
plan to become world-wide
celebrities, had done its work:
‘They were the buzz of a town that
buzzes for a living. Now televi-
sion calls them a "marketing mir-
ade.” To the Star tabloid, they аге
the “high-voltage Barbis with
the living-doll looks.” Prospective
agents and managers look at
them and see gold doubloons.
To their fans, the Barbis are
a double fantasy come to life.
And to you, the reader, Shane
and Sia Barbi are the latest in
a procession of future stars you

met right here in Playboy. Who

are they? Identical twins from

San Diego, 28 years old.
minutes older," says Shane, the athletic twin. "I'm the young
One,” says Sia. Both twins call Sia "the sensualist.” Physically,
they are so similar that their parents can't tell them apart.
Mentally, they are as sharp as tacks—which shocks stereo-
typists who expect buxom blondes to say little more than

"duh"—and funny, too. Looking at their photos, Sia says,

"Sometimes we can't tell ourselves apart, but if one of us
looks a little chubby, that's Shane." Delightful to interview,
lovely to view, they're a new binary star over the Hollywood
hills. Like most twins, they share a kind of ESP. "We like to
finish each other's——” Shane says. “Sentences,” says Sia. In
1989 sc. (before celebrity), they were belly dancers, rotating
their hips for $20 tips at Middle
East festivals from San Francisco
тю Washington, D.C. Few Califor-
nia girls belly-dance, but the sul-
try discipline suited them. "It's
hypnotic,” says Shane. She сап
still do a back bend called the
Turkish drop and place a half-
dozen quarters in a circle around
her navel and Rip them using
nothing but her stomach mus-
cles. Sia isn't quite so adept. "I
can do only four quarters," she
says, "but ГИ let you keep the
change." In 1989, they quit per-
forming for small change. The
billboard was followed by a poster
and а torrid Barbi Twins cal.
endar—too sexy for some stores,
says Sia—that outsold 336 of
Landmark Calendars 342 offerings. Soon, Shane and
Sia were awash in business—and personal—proposi-
tions from agents, producers and at least опе amorous
rock star They havent signed away their futures yet.
They're in no hurry; and with their fast start, quick wit

and Olympian looks, the world may beat a path to their door.

(top left, focing page) ond Shane Barbi ore sudden celebs. They'd love ta be camic-baok heroines; tabloid gossip has them

joining Schwarzenegger and Stallone іп on upcoming film. They live in Malibu, where they sun-bathe nude on the beach. That scene
wasn't hot enough for photographer Ко! Yee, who jetted Shane and Sio to Maui for their Playboy debut and caught them ot their borest.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY KAL

137

There are advantages to being a twin: “We dated the
same man and never told him we were two people," says
Sia. The man, a noted pro athlete based in L.A., thought
his lover was inexhaustible. “Shane's athletic and I'm
very sensuous. We took turns." There are drawbacks to
twindom as well: "We started wondering which of us
would go to the wedding, and which would get the hon-
eymoon," Shane says. That affair ended before the jock
became an unsuspecting bigamist. Says Shane, “We had

to stop being codependent!" She and Sia (seen here and

on the next seven pages—that's Shane on the left, or is

it the right?) seldom agree about men. "I go for intelli-
gence," says Shane. "Right," Sia says. "She likes nerds.
1 like bad boys" Eggheads and hunks agree: There's
something for every man in this dynamic duo. Just
don't be hypnotized by appearances. The Barbi twins

are more than Barbi dolls. Shane and Sia are savvy.

PLAYBO!Y

146

fill GATES (continued from page 134)

‘As one Los Angeles software retailer put it, ‘Gates
is the ultimate propeller head.”

were at Harvard. “He never put sheets
on his bed. He went home for Christ-
mas vacation with the door to his room
open, the lights on, money on the desk,
the windows open.”

Or, as one Los Angeles software re-
tailer put it, “Gates is the ultimate pro-
peller head.

You wouldn’t know that Gates is
America’s ninth richest person by visit-
ing his home. At the moment, he dwells
austerely in a modest house in Seattle.
He still leaves his bed unmade. When
he's home—after а 12-to-15-hour
workday—he reads. He can recite
pages from Catcher in the Rye and The
Great Gatsby. When an author engages
him, Gates will consume the entire оғи-
vre. When he turns on the tube, it's not
to watch TV but to check out his mas-
sive film collection on video. He started
by buying every Best Picture Oscar win-
ner. He used to spend Saturday nights
watching video tapes of university
physics lectures.

“I have nothing against TV,” he
explains, “Its purely a time-allocation
decision.

Much of Gates's impact, at least at
the outset, had a lot to do with his ap-
pearance. For years, executives were
shocked to walk into a meeting chaired
by someone who looked like a teenager.
But Gates quickly demonstrated 10 ev-
eryone who met him—from the blue
suits at IBM to the computer guerril-
las—that, juvenile looks notwithstand-
ing, he vas consumed with winning, he
hated to be wrong, he thrived under
pressure. This was a predatory capital-
ist brainiac who saw business strategy in
terms of global corporate geopolitics.
He was commiued to the long term and
loved to play corporate chess. He was а
master at forming alliances between
Microsoft and rival business factions,
leveraging one against ihe other.

“Bill is simply a lot smarter than апу-
опе else,” says Paul Maritz, onc of the
company's handful of top-level pro-
grammers, called architects, who, like
scientific cabinet ministers, advise
Gates оп how to fulfill Microsoft's
grand corporate mission: to write the
software that puts a computer on every desk
in every home. “We're not talking about
ordinary mortals. We're talking genius
level. He's able to process tremendous
amounts of information and talk to you
intelligently on almost any topic."

Although beset by massive responsi-

bilities as C.E.O., Gates relishes noth-
ing as much as disassembling the bits
and bytes of computer code with his
programmers. He easily holds his own
їп the technological trenches. "He
won't get any respect because he's Bill
Gates," says Maritz. "He gets respect
because he can take those guys to the
cleaners."

And yet, according to Bill Machrone,
editor and publisher of PC Magazine,
the most widespread conception of
Gates remains that he's 19 years old.
Even as he edges toward middle age, he
is still called the boy billionaire. Of the
two words, Gates clearly favors the for-
mer. “I like to think of myself as youth-
ful and willing to challenge the way
things have been done," he says. The
latter is unsextling. “Billionaire is, uh,
mathematically accurate, but it has а
tendency to imply that the reason I like
my job has something to do with the
economic value it's created, which
would be completely off the mark."

So whar's in it for Gates? "The whole
notion that you can create a company
and have a lot of impact is fun," he says.

The episode that made Gates a com-
puting cynosure is already part of in-
dustry mythology. In 1980, Microsoft
сш a deal to provide IBM with the bas-
ic operating software (MS-DOS—Mi-
crosoft Disk Operating System) for all
its personal computers. If you own or
use an IBM or IBM-compatible PC, you
can't live without Gates. And neither
сап your computer.

Ai the time, Microsoft was a 38-per-
son company and the leader in pro-
viding programming languages for
personal computers, which it supplied
то IBM. It could not, however, supply
Ше basic operating system, so Gates
sent IBM to a competitor, Digital Re-
search, Inc. DRI was already well estab-
lished with CP/M, the operating system
that ran many carly cightbit desktop
computers. IBM was also planning to
base its PC on an eight-bit CPU (central
processing unit, the chip at the comput-
er's heart). Gates, in a secondary strate-
gy move, persuaded IBM to use the
more powerful 16-bit chip, the Intel
8088, in its new PC.

Next, his partner, Microsoft co-
founder Paul Allen (currently owner of
the Portland Trailblazers), found some
operating-system software that had
been recently developed by a small
firm, Seattle Computer Products. Mi-

crosoft bought it for $50,000 and hired
the creator. Gates told his mother she
wouldn't see him for six months be-
cause he was going to work 24 hours a
day to get the IBM business. When IBM
was ready to negotiate the operating-
system deal—luckily for Gates, DRI's
top man was unreachable in Europe on
vacation the nod went to Gates. This
time, Microsoft—and its operating sys-
tem—was ready.

In 1981, IBM designated MS-DOS
(renamed PC-DOS 1.0) as the soul of its
new machine. Microsoft would collect a
royalty on each copy sold, as well as on
the MS-BASIC programming language
it provided. And both were included
with every personal computer. Today,
MS-DOS runs on 60,000,000-plus ma-
chines world-wide, and the royalties are
estimated at $200,000,000 per year.

But Gates didn't want to be depend-
ent only on IBM's annuity. In a bold
move, he asked if he could license MS-
DOS to other PC manufacturers. IBM
allowed it, hoping the spread of its op-
erating system would help deflect Ap-
ple Computer's inroads into the PC
market. But Gates did more than lobby
other manufacturers to buy MS-DOS.
He eventually persuaded some, such as
Compaq Computer—the most success-
ful computer start-up company of the
Fighties—to make their machines truly
IBM compatible, so that any software
written for the IBM could run on all
such machines. The PC clone market
was born, and MS-DOS sold like crazy.

That steady revenue enabled Gates
to take the next step, a slow and steady
expansion into the software market.

Today, Microsoft makes more than
40 products for the IBM-compatible
PC and the Macintosh, including word
processors, programming languages,
MS-DOS, integrated business packages,
data bases, spread sheets, presentation
graphics and networking solutions.

It is Microsoft's latest triumph—Win-
dows 3.0, the graphical environment
that makes computers "friendlier" —
that, ironically, is causing much of its
current grief. Its the source of the
copyrightinfringement case filed by
Apple and it hasn't made IBM very
happy, either. Until recently, IBM and
Microsoft were working together to cre-
ate a version of OS/2, the new-genera-
tion operating system for PCs that, like
Windows 3.0, was more user-friendly.
But when Windows 3.0 took off and
sold more than 3,000,000 unit:
year while 06/9 languished, selling on-
ly 300,000 units since its inception in
1987, the deal fell through. IBM didn't
like the fact that Microsoft had moved
most of its programming muscle to
Windows 3.0. Now IBM is developing

(continued оп page 166)

“My wife, my best friend, my condoms!"

147

DAN NY GLOVER

р: Glover wants people to notice

D; We noticed him in movies such as
"The Color Purple," "Places in the Heart,"
"Silverado," "Predator II,” "Lethal Weap-
on" and "Lethal Weapon II,” the miniseries
"Lonesome Dove” and HBO's "Mandela."
We also noticed his passion when discussing
issues of color. Glover is a winner of the
NAACP Image Award and a member of the
Black Filmmakers Hall of Fame. He's also а
community activist who lakes one month а
ear to speak to children and young adults
about education, drug abuse and other is-
sues. Contributing Editor David Rensin met
with Glover in Los Angeles during the film-
ing of Lawrence Kasdan's “Grand Canyon,”
due later this year. Says Rensin, “Glover had
just waked up after a tough night shoot. He
sprawled in а comfortable sofa chair, wear-
ing jeans, a hotel bathrobe and a greenish
herbal face mask that covered his cheeks,
chin and neck. It didn't seem to inhibit his
responses."

PLAYBOY: Some white people seem to
like you because they consider you the
pre-eminent "safe" black actor. Do you
resent that?

CLOVER: [Chuckles] No, because black
people also like
me. It's great that
white people like

hollywood's

sturdiest | e.
black star sented myself be-
Cause they like
reveals how me. Just because
И Asians or Mexi-

like me, th:
mel gibson дос те ны
5 ber М)

saya no, wi Wes me
lists the [ащ] Tras
the most impor-

women who tant thing. ES
Besides, 1 don't
should say know if rm safe,
yes and tells koow whats dan
us why we Robeson danger.
us

тау not Want what he repre
. sented—a very
him to come powerful black
" man with an in-
to dinner credible pres-

ence? Or was he
dangerous be-
cause of his politi-

PHOTOGRAPHY BY GWENDOLYN CATES

cal convictions? If anything, that label
started with hiring people who were
safe because they made the funniest
faces, as opposed to men who would
stand up and tell you that they were a
man on the screen, just by looking at
you, without saying à word. Paul Robe-
son was one of those, but Stepin Fetchit
wasn't. Is that how we define safe? Sid-
ney Poitier’s considered safe, but when
he said, “They call me Mr. Tibbs” in In
the Heat of the Night, man, he made a
whole bunch of people sit up straight.

PLAYBOY: Since you mentioned Poitier—
is there anything we don't know about
you that would keep us from inviting
you to dinner?

Lover: I have a tendency to pick off ev-
erybody's plate. The mothers of my
girlfriends used to love me, because I'd
go right into the house, go into the
Kitchen, open up the icebox and look
for something to eat. I'd go in and lift
the tops off pots.

PLAYBOY: In Lethal Weapon И. you cap-
tured the record for the most on-screen
time spent on the toilet. Describe the
experience.

GLOVER: First, my ass was sore! [Laughs]
I wanted to experience the actual feeling
of sitting there and not being able to
move. Í tried to achieve that physical fa-
tigue. Sometimes I stayed on for almost
two hours straight. I didn't let my
stand-in do it. My ass hurt, my legs
hurt. I tried to keep from moving а
muscle. 1 read the magazine on my lap
over and over.

The fear that accompanied the fa-
tigue came from a recurring nightmare
I have. I dream I can’t move my body. I
start sweating. The more 1 try to move,
the more impossible it becomes. The
only way out is to holler—and on
the toilet, I held that in. When I have
the nightmare, ГИ flail around in bed
and my wife will be going, "Danny!
Danny! Danny! Danny" I think the
whole thing comes, to some extent,
from having had epileptic seizures
from the time I was fifteen until I was
about thirty.

PLAYBOY: Can you take us inside а
seizure?
GLOvER: What happened progressively

with my epileptic seizures is that 1
would begin to remember more and
more of them. At first, it was like some-
body just knocked me out. As I got old-
er they became controllable to some
extent. I was able to remember what
was happening. Iwas able to remember
every element of what happened—the
uncontrollable shaking. То be con-
scious in the middle of one is hell. Ға
get to a point where I'd tell someone to
grab me, to hold me, so I wouldn't in-
jure myself. I'd tell them there was a
point where I was going to lose control.

PLAYBOY: What's more embarrassing to
an actor—doing a scene on the toilet ог
doing a nude love scene?

GLOVER: For me, the toilet scene. Like I
say, you pull inspiration from your life.
1 remember the first time I ever had to
sit on a toilet in public was when I went.
to jail. I was probably about twenty-six.
Га get four hundred dollars’ worth of
parking tickets, wait for the warrants to
come out and I'd go turn myself in. I'd
spend the weekend in the San Francisco
jail and they'd be cleared up. Now I pay
them—it's safer. At the time, the people
I'd have to spend the weekend with
weren't crack addicts, just alcoholics
and others busted for petty stuff. The
cell would have maybe fourteen people,
five, six beds on one side and one toilet.
So you had to sit right in the middle of
everybody and shit. The worst was
when everyone was cating and you had
to shit. Everybody around the table
would groan. And the shit don't come
out! [Ртизез] It blew my mind when I
saw that scene in the script!

rLavsor: What do you know about Mel
Gibson that no woman ever could?

GLOVER: It’s not like I know that he
sucks his thumb when he's asleep or
anything. The moments we have—
when I'm holding him in my lap at the
end of Lethal Weapon II—we're able to
create because we let go of some part of
ourselves on screen. [Pauses] I remem-
ber doing a play called Wolves. At the
end of it, I kiss this man. The play is re-
ally about a transference of power—I'm
transferring the power that I've main-
tained through a kiss. We kissed every
night for, like, ten, twelve weeks. And
we were able to get to a point where
we didn’t feel embarrassed. Now,

somebody might think, Uh-oh, Danny's
going in a different direction. But we were
just able to commit to the moment and
not carry the baggage off stage. It's
make-believe.

PLAYBOY: Which of Mel’s love secrets did
he pass on to you?

Lover: [Big laugh] Can we say this? How
to walk away from pussy. He's happily
married, with a bunch of kids, but he gets
pussy thrown at him all the time. I have
watched him walk away from it. If Mel
can walk away from it, then so can I.

PLAYBOY: But how does Mel say по?
GLOVER: Mel has a way. His method, I
think, is really his shyness. He can divert
the conversation; without minimizing
you, he can neuualize the effect you
could possibly have on him or his desires.

I learned to say no by stringing the
mental part out a long time after the first
flash to the point where I didn't want to
do it. Of course, if you discover the ener-
gy is reciprocal, that’s when you start
talking about the wife and kids. [Laughs]
There have been times in my relation-
ship with my wife when we've had long
discussions about me translating the
mental phenomenon into a physical one.
I guess being older, among other rea-
sons, changes things. You just get tired.
It's a lot of work, and you just don't have
the energy. Г don't have the energy апу-
more. | find out how much energy | have
every time I get on that stationary bicycle
every morning. [Sighs]

PLAYBOY: What's the first thing you hope
people notice about you?

GLOVER: Hmmm. Really? I want them to
notice I'm impressive. In the way that I
carry myself, in the way that I walk. Phys-
ically. “Boy, that’s an impressive-looking

man.” It’s interesting: I've wanted that
since I was a kid and it hasn't really
changed. I want people to like me. I
figure if they respond to me physically,
then they'll respond to me in other
ways—to my intelligence. “Well, I think
he ain't that dumb. He’s got a somewhat
clear picture about what he is and what
he thinks he is.”

10.

PLAYBOY: Imagine that a Martian came to
earth and wanted to know what the black
experience was. What cultural thing
might you show to explain it?
GLOVER: I'd go to a black church. Some-
thing happens there that transcends
place and time. There are other places,
too. Before I had any kind of visibility,
walking on 125th Street in Harlem was
magical. Just taking in life there. In some
communities, the church and 125th
Street coexist. These are two obvious cul-
tural metaphors. Another is less obvious:
watching a black man work. The dignity
of it intrigues me. Our work contains
part of our humanity. I've worked at hos-
pitals, as a longshoreman. It’s something
about the way in which we use our hands.
Of course, what comes to mind is the
misconception that black men don't want
to work. We lack opportunities—and so,
maybe when they come about, the work
takes on a whole other meaning and
beauty. Perhaps I'm partial to this be-
cause I watched my mother and dad
work. There was something about my
mother—when she worked, you always
wanted to join in. You could not stand
apart. I think I'm endowed with that kind
of spirit in terms of my work.

11.

PLAYBOY: Can you recall the last time you
were brought uncomfortably face to face
with your skin color?

GLOVER: I had an experience recently and
it made me realize, clearly, that skin col-

"Right now, all the guys in here

are trying to

те out how to get in our pants... .

Comforting thought, isn't it?"

oris what makes the difference. I was get-
ting off the plane in Oakland and а
young girl who'd been on the plane with
me walked alongside me. We started talk-
ing, and pretty quickly, she got around to
saying, "If you walk next to me and it
locks like we know each other, people
will say, ‘Boy, she knows Danny Glover.
God dang." So we were walking off the
plane, talking, and to make it a little bit
real, I put my arm around her as we went
down the hall. We were having an ani-
mated conversation. At the gate, her
mother came up and didn't even ac-
knowledge me. Didn't even acknowledge
me. She looked the other way, as if her
daughter were not talking to this black
man. The girl says, “Mom, I want you to
meet Danny.” But her mom rushed off
with her. I walked the other way, think-
ing, Boy, this is deep. Apparently, the girl
said, “Well, that was Danny Glover, the
movie star,” or something like that, be-
cause her mother turned around and
was, like, “Oh, wait!” I kept walking the
other way. Bye! But, hey, that's some
deep shit. It was a reminder.

12.

PLAYBOY: You played Nelson Mandela in
1987, on HBO. Three years later, he was
free and visiting the United States. For
the sake of those who just thought he was
an old black man on tour, give us the
short course on Mandela’s contribution
and most important qualities. What's his
appeal?

GLOVER: Nelson empowered people.
There are certain people who know that
they have power, like the Kennedys or
President Bush. But unlike their power,
Nelson's is based solely on principle.
Nothing tangible. He took the intangible
and made it tangible. He uplifted us, just
on principle. Great men do that.

13.

PLAYBOY: After you made The Color Purple,
in which you play a black man who beats
his wife, you were subject to a lot of criti-
cism for your portrayal—by blacks. How
did you handle the Вак from your own
community?

GLOVER: I didn't lose no sleep over it.
[Laughs] I fucking would have been upset
if there hadn't been any criticism. This is
a volatile subject and a very sensitive in-
dustry. Black people are very sensitive to
their image and to the way they've been
portrayed, and continue to be portrayed.
The role of Mister was essential to the
story, and what mattered was how we ele-
vated people through the story. Mister's
survival depended upon his villingness
and his ability to change. Yet Гус had
people say, "Man, you like playing them
negative roles. You played a negative role
in To Sleep with Anger." What can you say,
man? I mean, I'm telling a story about
human beings changing, growing. That's
what this job is about. However, my pur-
pose is not to hold a mirror up to the

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152

black community. That's not my respon-
sibility. Im just helping tell a story, а
fiction, through which people can see
themselves. [Smiles] So I guess the mirror
thing does happen, anyway.
14.

PLAYBOY: То Sleep with Anger is really a jew-
el of a movie. It flies in the face of Holly-
wood's idea of the black experience.
What did you do to achieve that? How do
you produce truth in Hollywood?
GLOVER: There's no formula in that film.
Most of the pictures I do, there's some
formula, though I can't deny that they
unravel some level of truth. Charles Bur-
nett [the director] wanted to carry us
along on this journey in spite of the for-
mat in which you do it. He paid attention
to that journey more than anything else.

15.

PLAYBOY: Dennis Miller recently told a
joke on Saturday Night Live. He said
whites are now a minority in New York
City. Then he said, tongue in check,
"And we're getting tired of geuing heat
from the Man!" Given national рорша-
tion patterns, in certain areas, whites ате
in the minority Do you think those
whites should be given preferential treat-
ment?

GLOVER: [Big laugh] God, they already get
preferential treatment. You're a minority
in the world, and you get preferential
treatment, anyway. Shit!

16.

PLAYBOY: Did you do Predator И simply for
the money or as a career move?

GLOVER: Well, there are movies that you
make. . . . My agent comes to me and
says, "OK, let's look at this deal. What
we want to do is be in a position to get
the roles we want to get and do the things

we want to do. Now, in order to do that,
we have to be considered a player on
some level. Someone's got to be able to
say, 'Oh, that's Danny. À film he stars in
did a hundred million dollars. Granted,
it’s a sequel, but it did that kind of busi-
ness. He has that kind of visibility. It did
wonders overseas.’ Then we go to Warner
Bros. and say, “We want to do this with
Danny, a script that he has. Would you be
willing to put up the seven million and
we'll go get the other seven million over-
seas because he's a player?” So you do a
film and you say, “This is a career move.”
Besides, when's the last time you saw a
black man fighting a supernatural being?

17.

sLAYBOY: As a forty-something, latter-day
action hero who does a lot of his own
running and jumping on screen, de-
scribe your relationship with your knees.
GLOVER: My knees don't react the same
way they used to, but I'm still relatively
physical. I think the coup d'état came on
Predator И. Y was hanging off buildings
and shit like that. But it's cool. I mean,
Tm forty-four and you don't have a seat
for me over at the rest home yet, so I'm
all right. Besides, I've run since I was
twenty. But 1 only run on beaches, no
more concrete. I like the action stuff. I
like movement. I wish I could have been
a dancer, if there'sa kind of dancer a big,
tall, clumsy kid can be.

18.

PLAYBOY: What's the role that you've nev-
ег been offered and are dying to do?
GLOVER: Гуе done one of the two people I
think warrant getting their life done—
Mandela. The other is Paul Robeson. I
doubt if ГЇЇ] ever get to do him. Га be
petrified if I were offered Robeson. I just
think too much of him.

"Look, Baskin . . . you're starting to get on my nerves!"

Also, I haven't done a romantic lead.
When Iwas doing Lethal Weapon, I played
а good guy, with a family. I applaud that.
But at the same time, he don't get no
pussy. What's happening? Is it because
he's older? Mel gets the pussy. [Smiles]
But it'll happen where I get the girl. ГИ
do all right on that. [Laughs]

19.

PLAYBOY: Imagine this: You're cast as the
romantic lead; there are several love
scenes. You pull the director aside and
tell him who you want to be your leading
lady—black or white. What's her name?
GLOVER: First choice is Alfre Woodard.
She stops my breath. J also like Whoopi
Goldberg. She's really beautiful. I like to
look at her. This is fun! Two white women
occur to me: Amy Madigan, the long-
haired version. She's hot. She's raw. I like
raw women. And Anjelica Huston. But I
already told Anjelica I love her. An-jel-i-
ca! Jesus Christ, yeah! She's beautiful,
and ] like her mouth. She’d be a fun kiss-
ет. Now, if you want to go back to the clas-
sics, somebody I've always wanted to
make love to—always, hope to die—is
Sophia Loren. And then, when I saw her
at the Academy Awards show, I thought,
God, this ain't diminished!

You may have noticed that 1 pick wom-
en around my age, too. I don't really get
turned on by real young women, except
to look at them. I want to think that I'm
going to learn something from this. I talk
abour this with a couple of my buddies all
the time. I have a friend—women love
him—he's a model. He's real cool. But
he likes them between twenty and thirty.
That's like baby-sitting, man. I went
through that. He has a kind of teacher
thing about him. [Laughs] Of course, I
like Julia Roberts, too.

20.

PLAYBOY: What do you suspect would be
the most interesting thing about being a
woman? If you woke up as a woman to-
morrow, what's the first thing you'd do?

Gover: I'm so shaped by the women in
my life. 1 always feel like I'm being nur-
tured by women. I think that they know
so much more than I do. If] were a wom-
an, I think I would know so much more.
That's their most endearing element to
me. One of the incredible things about
women is that they have the capacity to
experience and to feel so much more.
And in that, they are just so magnificent.
I tell people all the ume that my wife is
the D in Danny. I'm a joke compared
with her. But it’s all right. It’s all right.
1 mean, I get a little heady sometimes
and think that I make the ball roll, but,
shit .. . I could never be that magnificent.
My life is a reflection of women of mag-
nitude, all the way down to my daughter.

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PLAYBOY

Who Made DANNY RUN? (continued from page 86)

“He was the last of a breed: ‘Gene knew what he liked,
and if he didn’t like you, you knew that, too.”

“Put it on page one, but keep it down to
two columns.”

High оп a hill in Paradise Valley, а
wealthy suburb north of Phoenix, Barry
Morris Goldwater, 82, sits in his home
office studying the urban sprawl framed
by his picture window. In the distance,
jagged hills poke through the smog like
sharks’ teeth. The former Senator wears
Bermuda shorts and a golf shirt. His
hands are as gnarled as the limbs of a
‘Joshua tree; the fight is gone from them.

These days, Goldwater recalls his
friend Gene Pulliam grandly. He was the
last of a breed, the elder statesman says.
“Gene knew what he liked, and if he
didn't like you, you knew that, too. What-
ever he thought, he sat dov with his lit-
tle white hands and punched it out on his
typewriter. You could read about it on the
front page."

Although Pulliam's Arizona papers en-
dorsed Goldwater's bid for the White
House in 1964, Gene abandoned his
buddy during the campaign. He plotted
strategy with Lyndon Johnson and made
public statements in support of the in-
cumbent. Even the newspapers' editorial
endorsement was backhanded, inform-
ing readers that "Lyndon Johnson has
been a good President" and "Barry
Goldwater is not a political freak."

Goldwater waves those untidy memo-
ries away. “] think I'm the only one who
knows this story," he says. "For some rea-
son, Gene wanted to own a share of the
New York Central Railroad. I never
asked him why, I just knew he did. John-
son promised he would help Gene get
the New York Central deal if he vas elect-
ed, so that was business, not politics. It
was nothing personal. I don't think we
ever had an argument about politics."

Savvy as he is about the business of
politics, Goldwater takes his time pon-
dering Dan Quayle's astonishing career.
What would Gene Pulliam have thought
of his famous grandson's success?

"That's a hard question," Goldwater
says. His gaze wanders from the streets of
Phoenix to the Native American art that
covers his office walls, then back to the
window. "I know Quayle about as well as
anybody. He went to school with my chil-
dren. | knew his mother and daddy. Не
served on the Armed Services Commit-
tee when I was chairman."

The old conservative gunslinger
thinks for a moment. “I have a very
strong hunch," he finally answers. "Gene
would have called Bush and told him,
"No. That's not the man to pick for Vice-
President."

154 The careers of Barry Goldwater and

Dan Quayle were midwifed by Pulliam
and his newspapers. But long before he
was trumpeting political pets and proj-
ects, Eugene C. Pulliam had to create
himself.

Picture a boy on the wind-swept plains
of western Kansas as the 19th Century
draws to a close. He wears coarse clothes
sewn by his mother from his father's
castofis. He trades pennies for kernels of
corn, sells the popped corn to railway
passengers, then reinvests his copper
profits. Hand to mouth, he learns his
first lesson in commerce.

His father is a fundamentalist mission-
ary who tucks a Bible into his saddlebags
and rides to nearby towns. At each dusty
stop, he spills from his heart tales of hell-
fire, damnation and Jesus’ eternal love.
He is paid with butter, potatoes, bacon,
beef, wrinkled dollar bills. Every few
years, the Pulliams pack their meager be-
longings and move to a new home, and
at each home, they welcome to their table
those with even fewer comforts, a grimy
congregation of tramps and beggars with
their eyes askance and their palms out.
The father bends his head in prayer. The
boy looks for a way out.

Teddy Roosevelt was in the White
House when Gene left Kansas to attend
DePauw, his mother's alma mater. Unlike
his famous grandson, whose academic
indolence would become a subject of
public fascination, Pulliam left his mark.
He helped start a college newspaper,
helped organize a press club and co-
founded the country’s first journalism
fraternity. He became a stringer for The
Indianapolis Star, a paper he would one
day own. Still, schoolboy life chafed like
church clothes. After his junior year,
he dropped out and hustled back to the
West, taking a job as a reporter first at the
Atchison, Kansas, Champion and then at
The Kansas City Star.

On the police beat in Kansas City, he
observed a raid on an opium den. His
nostrils fared at the “pungent, stifling
odor.” He saw “buckets on the stove .
bubbling hard with the concoction.” In-
side the buckets was a witch's brew—“the
drug that makes beasts of men and wom-
en.” Hell-fire! Damnation! With his note-
book and pen, the fledgling scribe
prowled the land his father had can-
vassed with a Bible. He learned to like
the sound of his printed voice and he
learned a new lesson; The man who
owns the paper calls the shots. From
the reportorial trenches, he looked for
away up.

Gene got his first crack at publishing
in 1912, when he married a girl he'd met

at DePauw and, with the help of his Mid-
western in-laws, bought the Atchison
Champion. He made a mess in Atchison,
sinking the little paper in two years, but
his youthful mistakes presaged his later
style. The Champion's new publisher, 23,
came out swinging. He fought a tawdry
print battle with his competitor, the Atchi-
son Globe, beginning with a story that
hinted the wife of the Glole's publisher
was drunk at a party—the ethical equiva-
lent of a sucker punch. He leaped into lo-
cal politics with windy exhortations to
restructure government. He focused his
parochial hatred of the East Coast on
John D. Rockefeller, Sr, cofounder of
Standard Oil, crudely dubbing him “the
Pharisee." Throughout, the mudslinger
heralded his own honor. “The policy of
the Champion,” Pulliam wrote, was “in ac-
cord with enlightened journalism."

After the Champion debacle, Pulliam
retumed to Indiana to start over. His
weak eyes kept him out of World War
One, so he put his powerful lungs to
work, stumping the Hoosier State selling
war bonds. Widowed and remarried,
Gene used the few thousand dollars he'd
salvaged from Atchison to buy a share of
the Franklin Evening Star. It was the first
bite of a purchasing binge that lasted
three decades. He traveled the country
by train and car, studying Commerce De-
partment reports to locate towns grow-
ing faster than their newspapers, then
swooped in for the main chance. He bor-
rowed money from friends, leveraged his
investments with debt, traded up. B.S.C.
Pulliam, they called him. Buy, Sell, Con-
solidate.

Between 1917 and 1922, he became
sole owner of the Evening Star. He
bought a daily in Lebanon, Indiana, two
papers in Daytona Beach, Florida, and
one in North Carolina. Cashing in a por-
tion of his holdings in 1929, he went to
Oklahoma and snatched up 11 papers in
six months. When the stock market
crashed, he found his fiscal savior in
Oklahoma City oilman Frank Buttram,
who bought $150,000 worth of Pulliam's
stock and promptly decided to run for
governor. Buttram got a share of flatter-
ing coverage for his money, and his op-
ponent took some editorial flak. The
oilman lost at the polls, but not before
the Clinton Daily News staked a hollow
claim for its part owner. “We are for But-
tram solely because we think he is the
better of the two men—the man with the
most qualifications.” So much for en-
lightened journalism.

Pulliam moved on with a new partner,
Texas tycoon Charles Marsh. In 1930,
they claimed ten papers; in the next
three years, they collected 16 more. By
1934, Gene was ready to fly solo. Taking
a handful of dailies, he left Marsh and
formed Central Newspapers, Inc., and
within five years, the boy who'd learned
to turn a profit selling popcorn was atop
a print empire of his own.

ved his second wife, the c
ha Оц Pulliam—who would
celebrate her 100th birthday with grand-
son Dan Quayle at her side—and wed his
secretary, Nina, a regablookimg blonde
18 years his junior, Between 1944 and
1945. he bagged the influential morning
dailics in Indianapolis and Phoenix and
matched them with a pair of afternoon
papers that solidified his power base
those cities. He traveled the world wi
+ in the chilly dawn of the
Cold War. He changed his papers п
from “Fair and first” to "Where the sp
of the Lord is. there is liberty.” That New
Testament phrase—still printed daily on
Pulliam’s front pages—expressed “the
whole spirit of Christian living,” he told
readers, “the whole reason for the esist-
vh
.
Picture à man ar the height of his pow-
er; deep-chested, thickened with age, as
prickly and stubborn as а sagu
measures six feet from his soles to his sil-
ver ereweut bı His head is
massive, roughly chiseled, the weak eyes
magnified by black-Iramed glasses. Am-
bition has stiffened his posture, success
sullused his fury with divine right
juts from his hand. Comn
ble from his lips. He is the maje

He div
during Ма:

ence of man on e

seems tall

ob on
Pulliam lived his last years in a whi

washed adobe home in Paradise Valley,
near Goldwater's hilltop compound. He
and Nina looked out on eight pri
acres landscaped. with desert grasses.
palms and cacti, citrus and eucalyptus
trees. Some days, Nina wrote the prayer
ui

the wo largest-circulation newspapers in
their states. At banquets, she bowed her
head. before ambassadors and business-
invocation. The Old
Man, as his employees called him,
poured drinks with a heavy hand. He
rode to work in the :

Cadillac. He ate lunch at his desk, Soup

and crackers, fruit and cheese: The mis-
sionary's son was no sensualist, no con-
noisseur Sunday he was

ferried three m

то the Paradise Valley Country Club fora

pund of golf. He played well and scored
event routinely giving himself long
puts а up balls on the fair-
way—working the angles at his hobby
s he did in business. Sometimes һе
was joined. on the course by his y
son, a promising young golfer. named
Dan.

Employees felt fortunate to work f
him. He paid a decent wage. Не bı
recreation areas lor staffers in Indi
anapolis and Phoenix and hosted annual
pienics there. Among those who served
him in his heyday, Pulliam s acts of gen-
erosity are le bonuses written on his

1 checks, hospital bills summarily
ed. children’s educ underwrit-
. The Old Man also dipped deep in
his pockets to upgrade his newspape
expanding editorial stalls and moder
ing pressrooms. He sent correspond
to Vietnam, the Soviet Union, Europe,
Canada, Mexico. For an ambitious r
ter, Central Newspapers was a place
me

But Poppa also liked to preach. As
much as he liked reporters and respected
ng journalism, Pulliam would
both to Haunt his most prized
ical power In Indi-
d a fight with Demo-
Henry Shricker “The
hell of a vendetta going

perse
cle

D
s, he pick

with Shri
€
rooms for 30 years. “H Pull
, you were blacklisted from the pape
and that’s what happened with Shricke
n you imagine trying то cove
politics without ever mentioning the gov-

s name? It got to the point where il
they had a picture they wanted to и
he was in it, they'd white him out. I
mber one where someone had his arm
id empty space, Just hanging there
the gove ling before
they zapped him.
‚ Gene wanted two state-
elected.

“He called nto his office and told те
who he wanted (o bi
Robert Early, n ing editor of the Re-
publie at the time. “He said, ‘Twa
ry in the paper every day, either on ihe
front page or on the front of the metro
pages. This was three months before the
election!” Early produced stories for 90
days. Gene s favored judges won.
Although he toed no party line, Pul-
liam was а conservative by instinci. He
despised the Fast Coast establishment,
resented old money and fe sympathy
for the urban underclass. In his cowboy
credo, America was a ladder every man
could climb. No one deserved а boost.
Active and generous with the college
he'd dropped out of, Pulliam quit De-
auw's board of trustees in the St
when the president. decided to accept
Federal financial aid.
m the €
y the first shot of heroin.” he
alumnus. Bernard. Kilgore,

win,

a sto-

told fellow
chairman of The Wall Street Journal.

Pulliam’s favorite whipping post was
the Federal bureaucracy. Не capped
years of columnizing with an editoriz

1971 that filled the front pages of his sev-
en newspapers. "Most democracies h
been destroyed by centralized bureaucra-
cies—or at least by the rule of organized
minorities,” the publisher fumed. Work-
ing himself into а frenzy, he attacked.

"I know you are young and inexperienced, bui you can trust
me lo be sensitive and understanding. Tequila?"

155

PLAYBOY

156

vernment agencies rangi
Equal Emplo
mission and the Burcau
to the FCC, the FDA and
ment parasite
was a “national scandal."
vocate Ralph Nader was the new Lenin.
“His goal,” wrote Pulliam, quoting an-
other Nader hater, “is a top-to-bottom
take-over of industry by the Govern-
ment, with Mr. Nader himself, I would
guess, in charge. . . 27 Not satisfied to
preach only to his own readers, Pulliam
paid to have his sereed reprinted іп The
Washington Post.

While veering in print from the center
10 the hard right, the Old Man privately
curried favor with any big-time pol whi
have him. “Lam for you 100 percent,"
wrote to candidate Nixon in 1960. Four
vears later, Pulliam was advising Lyndon.
Johnson. “1 wouldn't discuss a
about civil rights,” he wa
the Democrat headed for Indi
been passed.
1 to justify it would only hu
He lambasted Jack Kennedy in countless
speeches and editorials—Kennedy had
dictator complex,” had bought the
Democratic nomination, had made “a
martyr of himself on the Catholic issue in
order to get sympathy and to glamourize
himself.” But when Kennedy won, Pul-
li; touted oll to the White House for
lunch at the new Presidents side

Before long, another Kennedy hit the

ng from the

nent Opportunity Com-
f Indian Affairs

word

w Any е

you

il, and Pulliam was back to

campaign.
old tricks.

In the spring of 1968, Attorney Gener-
Robert Kennedy went to Indianapoli
for Indiana's Democratic primary. As it
happened, RER. arrived just as news
was breaking of Martin Luther King,
Jrs, assa When his planc
Touched down, Kennedy was told that
King had been shot. Stunned and griev-
ing, Kennedy began an impassioned, ex-
temporaneous speech on the virtues of
King's nonviolent crusade. What Ameri-
са needed. hc said, was “not division, not
violence or ed but love, wisdom and
compassio! Parts of the speech are en-
graved on Kennedy's monument in Ar-
lington Natio metery.

Pulliam was not impressed. The Star
buried Kennedy’s speech deep in a story
about a youth group supporting Indiana
governor Roger Вг: ‚ who was also

in the Democratic primary. Journalism
students—including many of the re-
porters who now work for Central New

papers—study that days Star as
textbook case of news manipulatic
vestige of highhanded tactics that hav
mostly gone the way of the Model T.

A former editor of The Arizona Republic
remembers April 4, 1968, for another
son. Shortly after he learned King was
dead, J. Edward Murray picked up the
phone in his Phoenix office and heard
Pulliam’s familiar growl

“No picture of Martin Luther King оп

the front page,” the boss or

Beloved by his ambitious young stall
for his dedication to fair reporting, Mur-
ray was as much a fighter as the Old Man.
Аз stallers gathered outside the glass wall
that enclosed his corner of
room, he battled Pulliam on the ph

the news-

“I won," Mu remembers,
never said anything about it agai

the editors luck didn't
Whe y the rebellious
Sixties to the pages of Ar mi
nam newspaper, Murray added the syi
toon Doonesbury. Pulliam let a
y Trude:
canceled the strip witho
g his editor. Murray also hired
young columnist named Daniel Be
Horin to present his generation's ре
of view. In one early column, Ben-Horin
reported on Arizona State frat boys’ sere
nading sorority women, who responded
by showering their suitors with panties
and bras. The publisher's pious wife wa
outraged. Ben-Horin and Murray were
canned

Back home in Indiana, the Sixties
passed quietly. Pulliam’s dutiful son
Gene, assistant publisher of the Mar and
the News, didn't blow his nose withou
hist checking with Dad. To this day, he
rt remember а time when he made ап
editorial decision against his father's
mumbles the inheritor
You didn't do that.” You
did help your own, though—as when
Wendell Phillippi, a reti ЫА E
general and senior editor of the New
made the recommendation that got Dan
Quayle into the Indiana National Guard.
Like his grandlather, the hawkish scion
never went to wai

Sunshine and golf had called the Old
Man to Phoenix in the Forties. but и was
politics and power that preoccupied him
there. From his white casa, he. exerted
control over almost every aspect of civic
life. The city limits were expanded. be-
cause Gene Pulliam wanted и done.
Huge tacts were zoned to promote busi-
ness because Gene Pulliam wanted it

hold for

he decided to br
as de

pers with antifreeway stories, photos of
smog in other cities and front-page сі
toons mocking Papago харро By
the
grown more than four times as large
since Gene hit town. He had courted and
won Presidents, Congressmen and
ernors and launched the caree
Goldwater. the voice of Ame
servatism

On the moming of June 23, 197:
е Pulliam, 86, dictated a memo on
one of his editors

сап cor

his ред Goldwater." Soon after
fered а massive stroke and died
the preacher's kid made опе last trip
East. Eulogized in Phocni
buried in Lebanon

Then

Pulliam was
litle town

India

in the cornfields north of Indianapolis.
His plot is marked with a small granite
stone engraved with only one word other
than his name: son

.
When Pulliam died, control of Cent
Newspapers passed 10 а trust manag
by his son € his third wife, Nin,
a corporate executive named W
Dver. The со ys board or directors.
includes the Vice-P
James Quayle, who at 69 is nearly two
decades younger than the oldest of the
directors, 88-year-old: Dyer. Som
room grunts refer to them as “the
petrified forest.”
lwo years ago, Central's cutives
took the chain public so that the third
generation of Pulliams and other stock-
holders could get their money out of the
company. Franklin College, in the In
town where Martha Ott Pulliam:
turned 100, sold 1 ).000 shares at the
first public oflering. Dan Quayle hung on
10 his cut of Сети | stock and made
$13,944 in dividends and interest on it
last year. Management now feels the heat
10 turn a profit, and Young Gene is re-
duced to perusing expense reports, run-
ning the empire with Wall Street analysts
looking over his shoulder.

Upstairs Irom the paneled room where
his dad sits with his do-dah awards, Rus-
sell Pulliam, 41, taps out his editorials for
The Indianapolis News. Pleasant in the
noncommittal way of his father, Russell
docs not travel I conversation or in
print, before marking his path with a
crumb from Scripture, None who know
him think he has a shot at the corner
offic tone,” says a
former Star writer.

"The only way he could run things is if
they turned it into a Christian newspaper
in.” says another Indy wag.
just want то do what needs to be
7 Russell humbly asserts. "There's a
е in the Scripture—i s not to

my family name
His sister. My
just might.
nix, 5
skirts, he
politics, he
Man's piss and vinega
The Arizona Republic.
hei has worked her way around the
newsroom Bike someone with an eye on
the top job. Like her granddaddy, Myrta
started on the police beat and was boost-
ed through the ranks au The Indianapolis

nd lord it over ате
on the other hand,
¡polis and Phoe-
short
liberal
got the Old
says an editor at
The 44-year-old

Star sistant managing editor for
news, her c оп was
created f When

»unced, she was
had gone o
safari in Кену ten it up ina
splashy two-part feature published with
her own photos in the Star on consecu
tive The stories defi some

rolling their eyes. *
d work

staller:
she got through h:
” said one, with a
fore Kenya, Мула had organized а jaunt
for journalists and friends to the Soviet
Union.
“How m
10, Муг
recently, “
Glol

ad indus-

пу wecks of vacation you up
а sportswriter needled her

g dabbling at Daddy's
papers, Myrta waits for the trees to fall in
the peuified forest. “I think she's been
offered the job of publish
friend, “but I think she's delay
long as possible, because she'd have to
seule down."

While the Indianapolis papers are
guided by the timid hand of the p;
arch’s son, Phoenix erupts with one c
mother. The first publisher on the
fter th n died was
Her brief, tumultuous,
tenure an editors suicide and а
labor dispute in which the papers sued
own employees. Publisher Duke
who a year later took the reins from
Nina. boasted of having flown combat
missions in Korea and Vietnam, wore
chestful of medals and made speech
full milita alia: he locked horns wi
the
some digging
ud. Tully, it turned out, had never
sined the Air Force. He quit in d
grace and checked into а psychi
ward,

In 1976
porters was murdered.

investi,

one of the Republic's re

Don Bolles, an
nive reporter,
had written about corruption in state
government and the Mafia's entrance in-
to Arizona. One summer day, he got a
call from a mi infor-

nvolving local

bigwigs ment represent
atives, After the meeting, Bolles climbed
into his white Datsun and was blown to

bits by six sticks of dynamite attached to
the belly of his

Months of
and the cops prodi
newsprint and а round of trials, А lc
plumbe
маса of the a
freed when anoth

ns by reporters

court overturned the
no one knows who
was behind it,” Paul Dean,
who headed the Republic's team investi-
gating the murder. Some who knew the
ed reporter, though, look back at
sad chapter in the Phoenix р

a of changing

says writer

» tell you, if the Old Man
Bolles would not have
says Don Dedera, a Re-
n the Fifties and <
would have dared. С

“Nobody
wouldn't have slept a night until they
were found, and when he got ‘em, they'd

senc

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POL AY ОУ

158

have been nailed up on the side of a b

like a bearskin.”

In Old Man Pulliam s di
awed and crowed and pulled out their
chest feathers like fighting cocks; they
had a taste for blood. Now their black-
and-white world view has blurred to gray.
The newspapers have become bland and,
predictably profes-
the Yup-
ic C.
Still, the

; his papers

pie Vice-
Pulliam, Ше firebrand founde
presses roll.

In April of this year, The Indianapolis

Prize for a series ol
s on the state's med-
ical-malpractice-insurance laws, A few
months earlier; the paper had published
a syndicated column. that blew verbal
kisses at the Vice-President. “Dan Quayle
has done more than survive,” the colum-
nist opined. “He has prevailed.” The pa-
pers front page still carries а daily
“Prayer” and ^Chuckle"—quaint. rem-

Star won a Pulitz
investigative sto

nants of Old Gene's homespun style. On

January 16, the day the Gulf
solemn. nore. below. the. praye

“The Chuckle will return tomorrow."

In Phoenix, an Arizona Republic spe-
l-projects team known as the SWAT
team broke the story of a wide
police sting that netied indicuments of 18
people—including seven state legisla-
tors—on charges ranging from cane
paugn-law violation to bribery

Shortly alter the series began last E
ry. an editor strolled through the lob-
by of the Republic and Gazette building.
He paused to read a bronze plaque. On it
was d quote: IF YOU FORGET EVERYTHING
ELSE TVE SAD. REMEMBER. THISCAMERICA IS
GREAT ONIY BECAUSE AMERICA IS FREE. Be-
neath was the craggy signature GENE PUL
editor smiled. He knew the
з. "If vou forget everything else
„7 he roared, mimi his for-

Quick—throw it the sandwiches.”

Sit |
(continued from page 105)

daughter, had been warmly supportive
During the next few years, Tul

reer—by then as a model and
s did I

ess—blossomed,

personal

life. "Now that E could enjoy sex as а
woman, Um afraid I went a title wild.”
she says. imately, that was all before
AIDS."

In answer to the obvious question, yes,

That’s morc easily un-

Tula is orgas
derstood when one realizes that some of
the sensitive tissues of her original sexu-
al apparatus were retained in the sugi-
cal reconstruction.

"IL suppose my sex life now is like any
other woman's,” she says. “Sometimes
you can't relax and reach a climax; oth
times you do.”

Modeling job followed modeling job.
leading to what looked to be a big break:
‘Tula was offered a role as one of the
Bond Girls in the 1981 James Bond film
For Your Eyes Only. The part led to à nude
photo in a June 1981 Playboy pictorial
bout the movie (she fooled us)—and,
eventually, to exposure of а different
sort. One Sunday in 1982, а headline in
the tabloid News of the World blared,
"JAMES BOND GIRL WAS A BOY.

^| was devastated,” Tula recalls.
"There, I thought, went all my hopes ol
leading а normal life. I was hounded by
journalists everywhere I went, and their
Lick of understanding—the kinds of ig-
norant. questions they asked—made
determined to tell my side of the story.”

The result was her first book, the
paperback Tila: 1 Am a Woman. Alter the
attendant hoopla died down, а psycho-
logically wearied Tula decided to accept
only low-key modeling assignments. On
one such, а skiwear shoot in Taly, she
metan Malian advertising executive who
was knowledgeable about transsexual-
ism. “His name was Count Glauco
Lasinio, and he was Ше first man Га
been out with who knew from the E
ning all about my past. Eventually, we
fell in love, and to my surprise, he asked
me to marry him.

H was the count who urged Tula to
m British law regarding
transsexua w that is full of inconsist-
encies. Although Tula's British passport
says sh female, her birth certificate
says she’s male. Britain's National Health
program pays for sex-chang
but the government refuses to teat the
y patient as female if she wants
гу To complicate matters further,
Tula contributes to her health insurance
at the rate charged a woman, but she
won't be able to collect a pension until
t 60). HE she
a crime, she'd be sen
a men's prison, with all the images of as-
sault that that entails.

So, with encouragement from her Ial-
1 hance, Tula began the seven-year

process that would take her petition,
challenging the British government's re-
fusal to treat her as а woman, to the
European Court of Human Rights at
Strasbourg. The case was to outlast һе
engagement to Glauco, which she broke
off over an episode of infidelity, and
would even outlive her marriage to a
wealthy Jewish businessman, Fattal,
whom she still calls the love of her Ше.

Elias and Tula met in 1985, Secking a
career change, she had studied acupres-
sure at the Oriental School of Medicine
London and was accepting priv
clients. Elias was looking for relief f
а painful condition called polymyalgia
айса. Eventually, they

nd, on Valentine's Day, 198:
proposed.

This left Tala with a problem. Al-
though she had told F medical
problems made her unable to bear chil-
dren, she had not actually told. him
about her sex change. Terrified of his
possible reaction. she gave him a copy of
her book and asked him to go away and
read it. He refused, sat down and read i
in her presenc

"When he got to the last page, he
squeezed my hand and said. "Well,
"ve certainly got balls, pet" "

Nor апупи inymore.

ala says. And she did, enrolling
nine-month course in Jewish histo
tion and the elements of the He-

way toward mollif
Elias’ parents, well-to-do orthodo

dic Jews who had come to England
m Iraq and were none too pleased
that their son was courting a gentile.

“That was bad enough, so | felt it
wouldn't be wise to tell them I was a
transsexual right away.” Tula. explains.
“We had planned to tell them eventually,
of course, after they had a chance to get
10 know те. We had even planned to
ive them grandchildren. Both my sister
ıd a girlfriend had expressed willing-
ness to become surrogate mothers and
bear Elias’ child."

Alter an initial coolness—Mrs. Fattal
refused for three months to meet her
son's fiancée—the senior Fattals seemed
to accept th in-
aking over the wed-
ding plans. had wanted a quiet
ceremony for family and friends, bu
Mrs. Fatal insisted on a lavish reception
at London's Savoy Hotel.

The first hurdle, getting a mai
cense, was surmounted when nobody
asked Tula to produce a birth certificate.
Meanwhile, a decision in х

aded down in Tula s favor, ten votes to
х, on May 9, 1989 (though the British
ınment appealed), and оп Мау 91,
a were married at a liberal
‚Johns Wood, London.

The couple set out on a three-week
honeymoon. apulco and Jamaica,
which Tula still recalls with fondness.

We were like a couple of teenagers, At
Las Brisas, we had a private pool and we
just wandered around naked and made
love morning, noon and night. It was
lovely. But on our return, my mother
and sister were there at the airport to
greet us [her father had died a year and

егі, and they looked upset. I
"What on earth is i Have you
eed my car? And my sister said,
"No, and my mum started to cry, and
then she showed me the paper. The Neus
of the World һай done it again. There it
was on the front page: ‘SEX CHANGE РАСЕ
THREE GIRL WEDS."

"So Elias called his mother, hoping she
hadn't seen the papers. But she had. And
he asked me to go with him to speak with
his family, but I felt I couldn't face them
just then—if they said the wrong thing,
Га just feel so hurt and rejected. In ret-
that was my biggest mistak
go to his family alone—because
from that point on. he was gone.

In the end, I guess he just couldn't
stand up to his family
think Ве does love me. You
stop lovi à

There

partu
was а

telephoned de
tempt to sabotage the bra
cedes. “But after I reported that to the
police, the threats stopped.” As therapy,
she began to write another book—just
published in Britain under the tide My
Story, by Caroline Cossey—and went
back to modeling. “Elias hadn't wanted
me to work, so my career had been pr
ty much on hold for four ye
One of the things her agent, Yvonne
Paul, suggested was posing for Playboy.
5 I said to Mr. Hefner when I finally
met him, 1 want to do Playboy because it

I would like readers to look at те as a
woman, to see that wanssexuals can be
ve, that we can look sexy
don't have hairy chests and all the things
that one conjures up about tr
als—confusing them with u
who are so dillerent In othe
wanted to make a statement.”

Playboy was interested. As one editor
put it, “IF Playboy can't provide a tasteful
forum in which a person can express his
or her own sexuality, who сап?” We com-
missioned Contributing Photographer
Byron Newman to create the pictures
you see here.

While waiting for her story to be pub-
lished, Tula threw herself into the ap-
peals process at Strasbourg. She у
the States, appearing on Donahue and
s hopeful she'd

But on September 27, 1990, the court

nnounced its decision: ten votes to
eight against her right to change her
birth certificate, 14 votes to four against
her right to marry, leaving her and oth-
er British transsexuals in а no man's—ot
no woman s—land.

“Т can only believe that when we join
the European Community next year,
that’s going to raise some questions,” Tu-
la told me this past April, when we had
lunch and talked in London. "Because
other European countries, transsexu-
s are entitled to rights, and we're sup-
posed to be part of a common Europe.
So ГИ have another stab at changing the
law then."

As she toyed with her cheese omelet, a
young Asian man approached. Obviously
cognizing Tula, he asked shyly whether
or not she'd won her case in Strasbourg.

“No? You lost it? That's a shame."

“Well. ГЇЇ have another go next vear.

“Good luck,” said the man. “I wish you
the best.”

So do we,

would help change peoples attitudes. Ej
Бос
moe Fe es
= re ==

159

PLAYBOY

160

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bite, even with medication, throbs exeru
ciatingly for an entire day
caterpillars that dropped from trees and
made the skin itch for hours. He showed
them plants to avoid, such аъ the ruin,
whose innocent-looking stalks can slice
through flesh like а razor. As bad was tl
hortigha, a broad-leaved spiny plant that
causes a debilitating rash.

But he also described the medicinal
wonders of tropical plants, such as
yuquilla for snakebite and ayahuasaca for
almost anything.

“So the jungle,” said Paula, her face
pasty and wet, “is a living pharmacy.

Ramon gave her a smile of approval

nen he reached into the brush and
yanked out a large furry pod. Breaking it
open, he smeared some of its red juice on
his forefinger, reached out and traced it
carefully on Paula's lower lip. then her
upper. Too surprised to move, she stood
there and let him apply the jungle lip-
stick. “Well?” she asked Sheldon with a
smile. "Does achiote suit me

He laughed and admitted it was а bet-
ter shade than the lipsticks she bought at
Bloomingdale's. But as they continued
ong the trail, Sheldon studied the
le, who had taken such a liberty with
Ramon seemed unaware that his
plication ol lipstick had been an
act both intimate and impudent. He һай
sred a dragon's-blood tree and
with his machete was cutting into its slim
ink. He drew out a blood-
that he claimed would cur
throats and pimples.

He explained which plants could be
eaten.

“How cam you tell
something's poisonou

There were

gu
his wife.

Paula asked, "if

Look for signs that animals and birds
have eaten а plant. What they can eat,
you can eat
think getting along in the jungle.”
said Paula, "is compli
Putting his hands judgment
hips. Ramon said, "This is true
siders think /a selva is only trees a
sects and anyone who lives here must be
stupid."
“1 dei
Tgnor
erywhe

think that,” Sheldon put in.
ng him, Ramon continued. “Ey
> you look, there is meaning.”
He walked up to a tree with whitish ba

“This is the testigo. See those slashe

messages left. by Indi
ng out, he took Paula's arm and
led her off the path to
“Look at tha

Sheldon joined them and they stared
finger
the end.

ns.

поет tree

at a tiny arrow, about as long as

“Primitive nomads, They used to be d.
gerous."

Ramon laughed.

“Are they di

tsiders. Nea
temporary villages, they cut bamboo
slant about six inches from the ground
These stakes keep intruders away. Reach-
ing out again. Ramon touched. Paula's

gly. "Don't worry, though.

st have been left here long

ago. The Auca are far back over there

these days.” He pointed vaguely east-
ward

That ad the campfire, in

front of their two tents, they ate rice and

corned beef that Ramon had cooked with

casual skill luminum pot

“Let me tell you about the Auca

mon said abruptly, turning to
ast y

with the

a mission
He was warned, but

that
meant nothing to him, so people said,

"Well, let hi

go look if he wants. He'll
never find the Auca, But the Auca found.
him." Ramon waited for a respon

“What happened?” Sheldon asked с
riously.

Ramon turned toward him. "For onc
thing, they dug his fingernails out with a
knife."

“His fingernails?”

"All of them. Then they took his teeth.
Every one. Carefully.

“How?

"I don't know. But all his teeth were
gone.”

“Sheldon,” said Paula.

“Then what?" Sheldon asked, ignoring
her. He felt himself in the grip of some-
thing too horrible to resist.

"They tied him to a tree,” Ramon said.
“Hands and feet. То а ceibo macho.

“You mean, they took his nails
teeth before tying him down?”

Ramon shrugged. “Before, after, 1
don't know when they tied him. He was
found spread- " , his
arms pulled back around it.”

“Goon.

“Sheldon,” said Pau
hear any more.”

"Со on,” Sheldon dem

Ramon pointed to his abdomen just
below his diaphragm. “Cut here down to
here.” He indicated a spot a few inches
below the navel. “They inserted a stick
bent like а fishhook and"—he made а
soft pulling motion like hauling а rope—
hooked and drew the coils out.

Sheldon gave a low whistle.
About а meter,” explained Ramon,
“so the guts hung down to his feet.”

Раша got up and crawled inside thi
tent; when she was gone, Sheldon turned
10 Ramon again. "Go on.

Then the Auca killed him.

“You mean, he wasn’t already dead?”

"That's one thing Um sure of. The Au-
са know how to make it last. They can

keep а man or animal at rhe edge as lor
as they wish. Is the way they are. How a
thing dies is important to them.”

“Go on.”

“Finally, they cracked his hi
with an ax and let his spirit out

“Why did they take his fingernails and
teeth?”

Ramon shook his he: t know.”
He seemed abruptly embarrassed by the
account he had given.

Sheldon breathed deeply, as if he had
just run а race. "We won't sce any of the
Auca, will we?”

Ramon laughed. "No. mw friend.
Thar's impossible. Unless the Auca w
us to see them. But tha is impossible."

“Why?”

“The Auca don't want people to see
them. They're shy like the =
“The missionary saw them.
That was dilerem. He must
long just at the right time.”

“What does that mean?

Once again, Ramon shrugged. "Who
knows when the right time is lor the Au-
са? They're not predictable. When they
want to celebrate something or need to
please their god or try to change their
luck. Then they might let someone see
them before they Kill him."

They sat a while longer in silence.
Then Sheldon got up and went inside his
tent, Не and Раша said nothing unti
they heard Ramon get up with à sigh and
ко around the fire 10 his own tent

“That was horrible story.” Pau
whispered. “Why must you listen 10
something so horrible?

“I couldn't help it
ng. lers not talk about it any-
more.” Paula said, snuggling close. kiss-
ing him, reaching for him

Ramon seemed to know ev
lived in the jungle. He squatted in the
shade of houses built on stilts and talked
quietly in Quechua with banana-planta-
tion men, coffee growers, Indian laborers
with eyes med from drinking
chicha. Once, dur visit, he went up
the ladder into a dark hut and
with a blowgun. It was eight feet lor
made of two parts of wood wrapped in
hana. Ramon's checks expanded when
he blew into its bone mouthp
sent one of those little Auca arrows into a

ad open

have

one who

red-r

са

ce and

1 awa
Did you notice his chang
ked h
hualli, he wore the Batman sl
Rig

Then, when we first got to the jungle,
he had on that Galápagos Islands shirt.”

ауа 20 fe

"In Misa

Sheldon thought about it, then In
nodded.

“Now | on a pli

“What are you getting ші?”

Paula stared thoughtfully at the guide.
"The deeper Ramon gets into the jur

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161

PLAYBOY

162 hol hovered above the campfi

the more himself he becomes.”

Sheldon scoffed at the idea. But he did
envy Ramon his ease in such a hostile
environment. And Ramon was а born
teacher, He taught Sheldon 10 crumble
up termite nests al the four corners of
a tent at night. because their material
epelled sn insects. Sheldon
d-
mimosa
» induce immediate sleep in an in-
ic. Sheldon was learning to hold
his own out here. He felt the дау would
come when he didn’t need a guide in the
rain for

They went deeper into the massed
grecnery until they no longer came upon
hats or little settlements. Often, when

they halted for the day, Sheldon took
solitary walks and imagined himself
alone out here, а jungle expert. Retu

ing to camp one afternoon from such
walk, he found а pot boiling on the bu-

пе stove but no one in sight. He called
out and Paula answered from their tent.
"There was a water bottle near the fire, so
Sheldon picked it up and uns
lid to have а drink. Just as he got a whill
alcohol, he saw Ramon
sing the

ngrily,

rewed the

emerge f

Sheldon said

Ramon, smiling, approached. "Thats
medicine. Good in the jungle.

Sheldon inhaled decply over the open
bottle, grimacing. "This is chicha!”
Ramon continued to smile. “Ош here,
is medicine."

“You're drin

ш!" Sheldon yelled.
ged from their tent.
“You said you didn' drink! You lied!”
“Please, señor, do nor accuse me of ly-
ng,” Ri g out, he took
the boule from s hand and
turned to his own tent with it.
y nothing,” Paula told her husband,
gripping his ar
“But he said-
у nothing!” his wife commanded so
ply that Sheldon pulled his a
y, went into the tent and brooded.
as they ate lentils and rice, wh
monkeys kicked up a racket in
trees beyond the firelight, Ramon told
them chilling stories about snakes. There
were the fer-d ‚ terciopelo, urutu,
cascabel, jararaca—all lethal. The bush-
master grew to 11 feet, had fangs like
road spikes, and its poison prevented
the blood from cloning. “Tve seen a bit-
л man's gums bleed and he had blood
1 his urine and there were purple patch-
es on his skin.” Ramon reached down for
frequent pulls at his өше of chicha.
y" he told. Paula with a
sually keep to them-

sually?” she said.
The raw metallic stench of cheap alco-
Hh was

still lingering about the campsite the
next morning,

Sheldon couldn't. remember if they
had been in the jungle 15 or 16 da
didn't want to admit that to his wife and
surely not to Ramon.

Every night now, their guide drank
chicha at the campfire.

One evening, as they strolled ош of
carshot of camp, Sheldon told his wile,

We're letting him bully us.
Ne mustn't get him angry.”
Are you serious?

"He's got the advantage out here,
Shelly. Don't you see?”

Of course he did. Clasping her hand,
Sheldon promised to do nothing that
would get them in trouble. “I've never
loved you more than I do now," he said.

ack in camp, Ramon had their din-
ner ready. There was a bottle of chicha be-
side him, and with a smile, he greeted
them cheerily. “Hello, big man from the
city of New York! Hello, pretty

Sheldon down and cle
throat for emphasis befor
told Ramon of his respect for
knew the jungle so well. On th
hand, he was paying for this sa nd
must insist that Ramon keep his part of
the bargain. That is, not dr

Ramon immediately poured the chicha
into the fire; it hissed like a snake and
sent up а punge
night. “1 told you
what you pay for.

“Thank you

sat

smoke into the humid
Ramon s

id. ^

fou get

k you know

“I know sometl bout it because оГ
you,” Sheldon answered politely.

“Have you seen the signs?”

Whar signs?”

“Then you know nothing.” Ramon sat
back, hands on his knees. and looked
mphantly fiom Sheldon to Paula.
еу are there to be read and unde
stood.

“What signs?” asked Paula

“Don't be afraid, pretty lady. m no
animal. I am nothing to fear. There is
plenty in this jungle to fear, but not me.”
He cackled loudly.

Then he dished out boiled yuce
onions, chilies, tinned sausages and fresh
pincapple.

The Whites, fcc

and fell asleep.
And they slept deeply until a сасорһ-
опу of morning sounds nudged them
awake. Rubbing his eyes, his head
aching, Sheldon crawled from the tent
and looked around.

He let out a cry that brought Paula to
the entrance, too. Ramon's tent was
gone; so was the butane stove and a back-
pack of tinned food.

Drugged us,” Sheldon declared, He
made a quick assessment of what was left:
опе knapsack witha half-dozen tins of tu-
na and one of Spam, three cans of pinto

g drowsy, turned in

beans, their own tent and sleeping bags.
a flashlight. That was it. They had no

cooking utensils, not even a machete

“He won't get far with all that stull,

grumbled Sheldon
‘Oh, yes, he will,” Paula said.
She was right, of course. Thickset, jun-
mon Torres was able to carry
1 that would exhaust three Sheldon
Whites. And there was no sense in trying
to follow him. It was drizzling, and even
if they could locate his trail, they would
lose it again within 100 vards.

Huddled together in their tent, the
Whites tried to analyze their situation. As
they talked, Sheldon discovered in him-
self a new excitement, as if all along he
had hoped for something this challeng-
ing to happen. He thrust his head out of
the tent and studied the cloud
sky. “We'll get our bearings when it clears
up." Having spoken confidently, Sheldon
was surprised at his wife's reaction

“Fm scared to death,” she admitted.

Alter а long silence, she said. "Well,

"sa bright side. At least we're alive
7You don't seriously think he would kill
„Чо you?"
“I think he must have considered it.
He's a proud, vindictive man. Shelly, did
you pay hin
M course I did. By contact. That
morning we left the hotel.” As soon as he
spoke, Sheldon felt like a fool.

“E don't think he registered us with the
capitan."

“Sure, he did. Why wouldn't he?” Then
Sheldon answered his own question.
“well, if anything happened to us, he'd
be off the hook.” He avoided saying the
obvious: They didn't officially exist

“He felt you cheated him on the fec.
Shelly.” After а pause, she added with a
sigh, “And then there was me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“That night you yelled him about
the chicha? You took a walk, Before you
came back. I was standing outside the
tent and he ked up behind me and
grabbed my breasts and 1 slapped him.”

"You slapped him? What happened
then?

He ju
tent.”

“And then

‘That's all. Bu
laughing.”

Sheldon leaned forward, clenchin:
fists. “Why did you keep it from те

“Why do you think?

He knew, of course. Ramon might
have welcomed an excuse to deal with an
outraged husband who didwt stand а
chance against him.

Sheldon stared at the empty campsite
“He got back at me for being cheap and
at vou for holding ош. | wouldn't have
believed this could happe

“Ir мош have, except out here.”

А glance at his wife told Sheldon
she assessing him. He sat up

ered

а laughed. 1 went insic

E could hear him still

his

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164

straight. “We can't go back the way we
he declared briskly: “We have to
ind қо upstream to Nuc-

came
reach the river
vo Rocaluerte

“He mentioned signs. Shelly,
mean the Айса?”

He just wanted to scare us.”
“Then he succeeded.”
“Darling, if you've ever had faith in

me. have it now.”
Paula scuttled ove

tent and put her ar

love you, Shelly.”

did he

in the hot, cramped
ns around him. “I

.
Ihe next few days had а dreamlike
quality. There were fierce thunderstorms
followed by sofi evenings filled with
clouds transformed by final sunlight into
pink castles, lavender ships, crimson
birds, while fog rolled in off the blue
mountains into the jungle valleys.

As they went forward through the
dense rain forest, Sheldon tried to re-
member specific plants and what they
were good for: chonta. cana agria, cham-
bera, bigao. Which were ediblez How
could he really tell if animals ate themz
Which were poisonous? The names got
mixed up in his mind, just as his percep-
tions of the trail beca
ture of tree bush vine tangles of brown
tendrils stems a hot caldron ol green ш
ng plants.

1 cach.
day—tour now—with his wife, Paula

ne a chaotic m

ometries a watery stew of rot
Even so, he was going forwa

1
nd tough and uncom-

splendid wo

in, someone to be prou
of. courageous
plain
Ar high noon, they were trudging
along when Paula's feet shot out from un-
der her. This son of accident often hap-
pened in the slippery rain I
them оп occasion Над laughed at Red
Skelon-and- Chevy Chase pratfalls, with
legs scooting out, arms flailing. This
p. twisted around and
stomach.
sgling, Sheldon bent over his wife,
who was sprawled face down on the mud
dy ground, and said, “Let me help."
“Wait,” she gasped. “Be careful.”
ins he looked at her [ace
aw to his dismay Paula's mouth
ing soundlessly, her skin ashen, her
eyes wide and st What
“Газ hurt, [fell on something
When gently he began lifting her at
the armpits, Paula sereamed, the 1
issuing so loud and kı like through the
trees that a host of unseen parakeets flut-
tered out from the branches like conferti.
Startled, Sheldon let go of he l she
screamed again. Scooting around Paula's
body, examining her, he saw a pool of
blood under her left h

est. Each of

а hell

ied her high, stra
that she had been
paled on a jointed stem of bamboo,
maybe three or four inches long. When

up, and could se

she slid free of the stake and he rolled
her onto the muddy jungle floor, a gush
of blood spread over her trousers, Shel-
don quickly undid them. He stared a mo-
ment at the bubbling hole in her side,
then stanched the How with the shirttail
of her blouse. Paula's blue eyes had the
glazed look of someone in shock.

The Auca рш it there,” Sheldon mur

tered as he worked ıo hold back the red
tide of Paula life.
.
Somehow, in his fear and anguish,

Sheldon White managed to haul his
stricken. мие down to a meandering
stream and bathe the wound with soaks
made of their clothes, Ramon had stolen
their first-aid kit, a theft for which Shel-
don would have asked the death s
tence. Paula lay on the bank naked from
the waist down. Sheldon spent much of
his time frantically waving off flies that lit
on the wound or her pubic hair, great
waves of wings and curious litle legs,
striding on, probing her flesh. While he
held one of his shirts against the large
puncture, Sheldon had the compelling
but horrible sense of being watched. If
the Auca were out there and appeared,
he'd tell them they weren't to blame.
They just wanted to protect their territo-
ту. He had no argument with them. Te
was Ramon Torres’ fault. He
somehow get this across to them if they
appeared. He leaned close
| whispered, “We're going to be all
ghi.” He repeated this encouragement
a few more times before acknowledging
10 himself that his wife was unconscious.

Night fell; by then, he had managed to
stop the flow of blood. Clumsily, he made
a bandage from a pair of cotton. pants
found in the knapsack. The flying insects
» longer had access to her Hesh. He sat
beside the riverbank, cradling her head
n his arms, listening to her labored
breathing, te
ments she made.

It rained, һе hovered over Paula, cov
ering as much of her as he could from
pelting drops that hit the overhead palm
leaves like pebbles. Once, she awakened
nd cried out and brought sobs of hc
from Sheldon, who kept tell
loved her loved her loved her. What hap-
pened during the rest of that night he
would not remember, but he awoke
inst hers,
nd at the instant of waking, he knew
skin that.

would

о Раша“ ea

fied by convulsive move

shortly after dawn, his [ace aj

from the cold texture of her

Paula was dead.

ex, as he staggered through а
drizzle, Sheldon gripped Paula's neck
pouch, which contained her. wedding
ing, her passport, her driver's license
and a few other documents. It was all he
had left of Paula Levine White

her Тау beneath a cover of leaves beside а

the rest ol

stream.
“I didn't say goodbye.” he declared out
loud. The sound of his own woice,

mulled in the hi led him. 71
didnt tell her Fd get the son of a bitch:
Turning, he tried to retrace his steps, but
after a time of stumbling
growth, Sheldon realized he would never
find her again.

He headed in what might be an caste:
ly direction and set out at a steady pace
If only he could see the sun or the stars,
he could fix his course, but the weather
conspired against him. In his mind, Shel-
don forgot about the jungle and imag-
ined himself back in Quito, filing charges
unsuccesslully against an Ecuadorian na-
tional, and back in the States, making
enough money to return to this country,
where he would bribe judges and politi-
cians, persist maybe for ycars until he got
the better of a corrupt legal system and.
finally brought Ramon Torres to justice.
Or, il that failed, there were other meas-
urcs.... He would buy a gun. He would
creep up to that battered little house,
swing the screen door open and shoot
Ramon ‘Torres, lying in the hammock,
right between the eyes

“We're going to make it.”

That's what Sheldon said aloud as he
trudged steadily on through the jungle.
He felt stronger as the hard-earned miles
fell behind him. He had mild diarrhea,
perhaps from lickin ops oll
broad-leaved plants (long ago, his can-
teen had gone dry and һе had по
Stere

ough under

raind

abs with I
aybe the wi

s he had eaten
were responsible. He had only a single
tin of tuna left and meant to husband it
judiciously. The sun hadn't come out, not
since belore Paula's death, and that had
happened three or four days ago. Or was
it five? If only he would come upon a lit-
Че settlement or even an isolated hut in a
clearing, he might discov
taining himself. He wouldn't ask f
thing save the answer to one que
What could he eat
mustn't impose on people who likely
nor would be hostile to a lost gringo
himself. But he never met anyone.

Stopping once ata pool, he sta
his image in the water and noticed lı
round. splotches on his face. Touchi
them, he realized that the suppurati
sores, doubtlessly when h
ached some insect bites, were much
larger than he had supposed. Gnat sized
Mies had done it to him. Ramon had said
ol these Mies, “They will bite you and bite
you and you'll never see them do it.” But
Sheldon + minded the
They lived on him as famil
seen them live on naked children playing
in the mud of a jungle compound.

"We can do u, Paula,” he declared,
aware but ni raid ol speaki aloud to
his dead wile. He had been talking to her
fora few days now. It began during a stop
when he lay back against a large boulder
What do I tell them?” he asked

а way of sus-

ed ar

caused

sects.

rly as he had

to res

her. “E mean, your brother I can handle.
He'll understand what happened, how
ме couldn't help it. We couldn't, could
we? But your father—what can 1 tell him?

Thats а man who won't even try 10 un-
derstand what the jungle is^ Alter а
pause, he added . “Forgive me,

пег

darling, I was а fool.” Не felt bette
saying these words.

And so, by holding conversations with
Paula, he was not losing his mind but
gaining it. All he needed was a blue sky to
give him direction

Finally, the sun came out, though а
dense webbing of ceibo and eucalyptus
leaves obscured most of it. Climbing а
hillock to reach a commanding view ol
the countryside, he saw a brilliant bowl ol
blue sky arching over the rain forest right
down to а green horizon, lt was shortly
afier dawn, so from the sun's position he
could orient himself reasonably well for
the first time in days

While descending into the deep jungle
led another of Ramon's
thing in the jungle
d again like a wheel: You'll

find that out.

And he did. Almost every tree and vine
and leaf had à familiar look. Although
the sun had given him be
he could travel more generally in a
straight line, Sheldon felt he had been
everywhere before. Perhaps he had cir
cled round and was retracing his steps in
the The

delusion.

pursuit of a
there—that specific ecibo the
seen before. 1
bit of ground, that trumpet. vine, this
cluster of orchids—all seen before. Yet
it wasn't tue. It couldn't be, because
whichever direction he took, each object
along the way was the same as those just
passed. By nightfall, when he sat cx-
hausted against the hard wank of a
chimbra (did he remember this пес?),

Sheldon appreciated a new subtlety of

the jungle: Wherever you went w
remained the same, like water

hin it,
cach
segment identical to the next. Не mi
tered something like that to Paula before
plan
Sheldon awakened slowly, com

ng into drcamless sleep.

ng into
a conscious state of controlled alarm. His
entire body understood that something
ng was happening

was wrong, someth
moved, though a moving
weight made a path perhaps the width of
two fin

He never

rs across the calves of both legs.
Te was just after dawn; by lowering his
chin slowly, he could sec in the misty
light a final Few inches of snake undulat-
ing beyond his legs into the bush. What
ha A fer-de-lance? A јаки
d,” he told his wile. Geni
to his feet, ignoring the hunger pangs
thar camped his stomach, Sheldon
lunged into the rain forest, pushing on
toward Nuevo Rocafuerte. He kept
"We're going to make it.”

noon, when he stopped to

Lit beer -de

Never 1

а and

open the out two fingerfuls
Tor his lunch, Sheldon had the strangest
fecling—the jungle had grown silent,
ишу without sound. There had always
been some kind of sound cven within
silence: a tapir grunting through the u
dergrowth, а white-noise constancy ol
buzzing insects, the whistling or caw ol a
bird overhead. Something. But suddenly,
it seemed as though the jungle bad in-
haled and was holding its breath. Noth-
ing moved. A silence as deep as an ocean
swept in and remained there, hovering
around Sheldon White until he found
himself holding his own breath. И lasted
perhaps nute,
poured in again as into a bowl, and he
himself breathed.

then the sounds

"Were going to make it,” he heard
himself saying aloud just as the under-
growth ahead opened into a small clear-
ing, and Sheldon stepped forward to face
а group of men, maybe a score of them,
all naked except for а few who wore vests
of jaguar skin adorned with bird beaks,
feathers, bits of glittery things

He knew instantly who they were.

Not one of the Auca was more than five
feet tall. A few held thongvrapped axes,
but all had blowguns with bamboo quiv-
ers slung over their shoulders. Their
faces were brightly smeared in intricate
designs with the red exudate of achiote

They ме

stony expressions that Shel-
Чоп couldn't interpret.
He wanted to say that Ramon Torres
sponsible for his wife's death. It
fault; he didn't blame them.
But having эсеп them, he knew they
wouldn't nd a word. There was
not 1
passed and the score of men stood in
front of him, motionless.

At last, one of the Auca, who wore a
feathered headdress, came forward to
stand within touching + of Shel-
don, who looked down at him and smiled
tentatively.

Reaching out and taking one of the
white hands into his own, the tribesman
in a stubby thumb across the smooth
surface of each fingernail. Dropping the
hand then, he took a step closer and
pried open Sheldon's mouth. He ¢
the same callused thumb across each of
the upper front teeth.

Sheldon let out such a vowl of horror
that the surprised Auca took а lew steps
backward.

Startled birds in a neighboring tree—
acaws and kites and owls—llapped
apidly into the bright sky.

Clutching their blowguns, the Auca
stood there in the dappled sunlight, per
haps wondering if the white man's spiri
ving his body before they 1
a to kill him

nderst;

ssed and

g to do but wait, Ти

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PLAYBOY

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“Mitch is obviously down on me,’ says Gates. ‘I mean,

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Athous
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Business Month n ic. wrote that
Microsoli’s success was mostly du

luck and Gates ability to “recover the
fumbles” of his even more inept rivals
and peers. The mi
quotes an unnamed software exccutive
who claimed, “Gi
technical. But Microsoft's secret is that it
is not маши: Bill is just а sys
guy who's been able to fund a wide
ol "me. 100° applications on the b
өне extremely lucrative product praet
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IBM. All he's done since is hang in."
Gates will admit, when pressed. that
serendipity certainly played a part in his
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just got lucky. “I they are saying that
they were just as likely to have ended up
ü he says matte
“then they ning other s

"dustry azine

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he claims, citing his foresight i

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the Excel spread sheet (for both the Ma
and PCs) and the buy spree lor Win-
dows 3.0. “I feel responsible lor main-
taining шие of innovation. / do.
Thats what makes it lun for me.”

Gates estimates that DOS accounts for
as much as 25 percent of Microsoft's

develoy
computer,

ТЕСТТІ
the

profits. “But believe me, those profits go
to the bottom line. If we weren't very
profitable, you could say we were using

DOS to fund the other stull. The fact is.
everything here is very profitable—except
media and networking, which are
n an invesinn 1 guarantee
that il we start writing crummy products,
the bottom will drop out.

However Gates's success is figured, he
ppointed” by the resentment and

is “dis

hurt expressed in some of the «
ments. “Negative guys say [cheated my
way here,” he complains. “Positive guys

say 1 must have overwhelmed ever
with my LQ, Both are gross overs
plifications of what have been i
years.

The hurt is worse, of course, when old
friends, such as Lotus founder and for-
mer C.E.O. Mitch Kapor, seem to tum on
him. “The revolution is over,” said К
por. “Bill Gates has won. [Today's sol
ware industry is] the "Kingdom of the
Dead.”

“Mitch is obviously down on me,” says
Gates, sigh 1 "Kingdom of the
Dead’? Where do Ego from there?”

ics was bom into а well-to-do
у. His father, William. H.
is an His mother,
Mary—the smart one, they all say—sits
on the University ol Washington Board
of Regents and is a director of First In-
terstate Bank, Gates re ns close to his.
folks and doesn't 1 ate to consult them
Tor business advice.

As a teenager, he aucnded. Lakeside
School, an academically rigorous private
school. and it was there that he met Paul
Allen, who shared his interest in science
fiction, €
whiz (he would kuer score 500 on hi

Bill €
Seaule f
Gates И. attorney

] >, Бурам h-grade
y classes because he'd already read

h school texts, He took his mah

quie personally: "The thing 1 liked
about math was il vou were either

y who no-
ı some math
1 you had to хау, “Hey, this guy

right or wrong; so even some
body liked could come up wi
proof
right!”

When the Lakeside Mothers €
icd the proceeds ol a r
1 a loci
members of the Lake-
ogramnming Group. Their activi
cluded skipping gym classes
мо the computer center at
rummaging through trash

ub do-
image sale to

time u

and

Progr mmes were boong for
money: They computerized the school's
payroll system ind counted holes
punched in cards by machines that mon
өгей highway trafic. The rechanneled
profits went into more computer time
Two vears later, the group formed a com-
pany, Tral-O-Data, with Gates as presi
dent. to sell the tralfie-counting system to
local communities

Gates missed much of his senior year
because he was by then working full time
аг TRW as a 520.000-а-усағ pre
mer When he went to Harvard in 1973.
Allen transferred East from the Universi-
ty of Washi Their first winter. t
picked up an issue of Popular Electronics
and read an article about the Айай: a kit
сопу er based on ihe new SOSO micr
processor [rom Intel. It had а AK memo-
ry and the wer. MITS, said it
needed a computer Lingua
the could be
Gates and Allen were shocked.
been predicting this 1
have somebody doing it; here it was аре
pening without us. So | called the
the dorm room and said, “Hey, we have
а [condensed version of the language]
BASIC that will work on your machine
Do vou want it?” MTTS said ves.

Now all c nd Allen had to do was
ашау write it.

Thice weeks

"on

апи

written so
programmed
“We had
ag and then to

machine

from

tes

they flew to Albu-
querque, checking the program simul
tion one last time on the plane, Had they
read the a | incorrectly, nothing
would have functioned. But it worked.
"For the first time.” says Gates, “they
their computer actually do something
In Ju ‚ Gates dropped out of
He and Allen moved to New

Harvard.
Mexico to work with MITS and stried
Microsol nally. Allen wanted.

move dware, bur Gates was
adamant that sotiware would drive the
industry and persuaded Allen 10 sec

thin his wav, MITS eventually folded.
but Microsoft had acquired other clients
and in 1979, the company moved near
Seate. In 1950, IBM came calling and
the modern PC era began

From а май ol eight people in 1975,
Microsoft has grown to more than 2200
employees. Yet, because Gates likes to
think of Microsoft as a collection of sepa-
тше enterprises under one umbrella, the
business retains а small-company feel
Headquariery are а pastoral, campuslike
setting of low-rise buildings near Seattle
A small pond on the grounds has been

dubbed Lake Gates. In the cafeterias, all
beverages are free. And employees са

buy the latest reflections of corporate cul-
ture: Microsoft Tshirts, jogging shons,
knapsacks. Workers even get a free mem-
bership at à local health ШІ Althou
Microsolt workers are generally paid less
than they could make elsewhere Gates
те receives only a 5 190,000 salary —
d toil longer than standard hours, they
remain loyal to the company for many
reasons, which include a generous dis-
counestock-purchase plan and the
chance to be part of Gates's goal of glob-
al software domination.

For lun, there are picnics and partie
An annual bash, called Microgames, is
sometimes held at Gates's home or at the
fav d that he bought lor his
folks. Last years theme was Africa. Ev-
ervone did the limbo, shot blow darts,
tried to fill in the names of Alrican coun-
n map (Gates had a map ol
ye wall for months in

Миса on his
advance, to prepare), raced canoes and

played Jungle Je intosh
computers in the rain.

Employee turnover is extremely low at
Microsoft and both morale and profits
are high. Microsoft was the first software
manufacturer to gross more than one bil-
lion dollars in a уса.

Today is a beige day. Gates wears light-
brown loafers, beige slacks, a predomi-
nantly beige madr ıd a be
сазһтеге sweater ge hair is a
mess

Night has fallen and Gates picks at the
remains of take-out Thai food from white
cartons and aluminum dishes set on the
. "One thing l'm not good at is keep
my office clean,” һе says, embar-
“Seriously, HI had a subordinate

dy on M

s shit
His be

ing
rassed.
whose ollice looked like this, 1 would re-
ally wonder what was going on.

He's surrounded by his notion of cor-
porate decor: а Microsoft product poster
бот Germany, another touting DOS

4.01 in Russian, a Teddy bear а beer
ste a Casio mimi V left by some
Japanese visitors, a globe and а collee

table covered with yellow legal tablets. a
yellow Koosh ball, a cassette of Chicago IX
and other paraphernalia, Near his desk
is an award ог winning the 1990 Com-
puter Bowl—a brisk competition among
prominent techies

There also some more revealing
mementos—an. assortment of. personal
photographs. One shows Gates sleeping
on a park bench with a Scientific American
on the ground, just beyond his our
stretched finger tips. Another is of Win-
blad, A third Features Gates and Allen,
1953, back at Lake They'd built a
13 lor the school
iot the. Alummis of the Year
ıl photograph is the “Pie
ol Eight? a Seveuties portrait. of
gly counterculuie types—the ori,
ıl Microsoft

mp—who look as if

nmune. Gates,

they're suaight off the c
looking about 13 years old, anchors the
lower lelt corne

Gates is asked what he thinks when he
looks back a “1 hope I look
the same,” akly, obviously
uncomfortable with much perso
flection. OR, then, what
semiment “There
when we first moved onto this campus or

those days.

he says bl
al re

does arouse

c milestones, li

started buyin ore land. Or at +

year anniversary, we looked back a little
bit. On our ten-year а

adds, “we looked back." Let's tey this:

Does he wander the deserted halls а
night? 71 kind of walk around sometimes
and see what things they've got posted
on the walls. Maybe run into somebody
who's got something running on a n
chine." So. no sitting in his office, in tl
dark, contemplating what he has
wrought? “Nah,” says Gates, "I don't turn
the lights off much. The cleaning people
might start coming in and vacuuming.
Gates is so indisunguishable from Мі
crosofi—in his mind, at least—thi
plans to marry and begin a family аге
жауу on hold. Gates faces a quand.
miliar to any voung lion: Can he handle
Iwo wives when one is the company?
“Sure | can.” assures Gates. “But its not
something you can schedule.” Even so,
the clock ticks and the gossip flies. Com-
petitors wish he'd get started, because it
might give them a chance to catch up.
Gates insists he has no shortage ol
"dance partners.” So think ol him as Bill.
Gates, rock star, says a Паепа. “Think of
anybody in a position of power. Gates is
rich. He gets letters [rom women all over
the U.S. and the world. Once you ve got
the rep. it's easy.” A woman from Mensa
once wrote to Gates, asking him for sofi-
ware lor her Mac. He delivered, then met
her in Atlanta later
Gates is nor always so charming. His
conlrontational style at work has been
called management by abuse. When any-
one presents programming codes or
ideas that he feels are the result of hap-
hazard and sloppy thinking, he won't
hesitate to say, “How can you be зо
stupid?” Another favorite reproach:
“That's totally random.” If you listen
carefully, youll hear these Gatesisms,
and others, echoing campus-wic
Microsoft's most senior programmers
claim they've learned посто take the in-
sults personally. “Bill hay toughened
up.” says Jel Harbers. “He used to just
beat us up, and we went away feeling bad.
You have to be able to take this abuse and
fight back. H you back down, he loses rc-
spec. Is part of the game
But Harbers claims that since return-

ing Irom his recent vacation in Thailand.
Gates has mellowed out. “Oh, that’s
the most bullshit Гус ever heard.” says

Gates. “I have always been as friendly or
as unfriendly ay Lam now. Maybe Tve
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UNDERARNS

167

PLAYBOY

168

overboard.

And apparently, he is willing
to take what he dishes out. “I believe in
feedback. 1 encourage people I respect,
my parents and my business associates or
my fiends, to tell me when Em a little
out of control, If 1 haven't combed my
hair for two weeks, they might say. He
a lile more ойе
А per project these days is Gates's
$10,000,000, 37,000. quar foot new
home now under construction on id
shores of Lake Washington, in suburban
Seattle. I will include à swimming pool,
mpoline, a game room, a movie th
a beach, underground. parking for
000-book library and a din-
ing pavilion that will seat 100. He'll also
install high-definition-T V monitors. in
most rooms to constantly display images
from a massive collection stored on com-

soc

es of most of the

puter. "We'll have imag
fa
Gates told one reporter
FRENCH. SCULPTURE,
sculpture. IF someone says to you, `Rus-
you can sav, Edo think
and type in RUSSIA and take a look.

His other indulgence is fast cars. One,
а 5300.000 Porsche 959 (new worth
$1,000,000), sits on a dock in Oakland,
California. The Government wont let
through Customs without a crash-test
safety certification. But the
expensive for Porsche ко sacrifice the
four models required. for testing. Gates
and Allen each. own one, and they've
of simul,
crash on a computer in order to satisfy
tlie safety requirements

Both the house and (he car an

ps. boats.”

ws art, cars, plans, ma
f you type in
youll see French

sia's so bleak,
EN

cars are too

been concocting a wa

"Well, well! The Incredible Shrinking Man!”

within Gates's budget. When he took Mi-
crosolt. public in 1086, holding
ol its stock, Gates became worth in
excess ol 8300,000,000. Today, (har
eds near four billion dollars.

" Gates confesses, "I have a bunch
icy and the freedom to do whater-

10 per-

then, to note wha

Gates chooses nof to do. On his Irequer
business trips, he won't charter a private
plane or even buy а first-class ticket—un-
less circumstances absolutely demand it-
He is happy Hying coach. olten covering
his head with a blanket or a coat and
catching а си nap. (He's an instant
neous sleeper.) He also likes to arrive lor
[lights just seconds before Ше
shut in lus face.

There are no limos or chauffeurs in his
Ше. Gates drives himself everywhere. in
а Lexus. For years, until the company im-
sisted, he didn't even want his own park-
ing space at work. Unfortunately, without
an assigned spot, he sometimes had to
park four blocks from his office on days
when the lots were filled. Once, he was
harassed after hours by a disgruntled se-
curity guard. He has since relented and
accepted not one but two slots under the
main building. "So I got one for my со
pany president. too,” he says. Gates
parks his Lexus next to Microsoft presi-
dent Mike Hallman's big Mercedes.

Why resist so many of the perks ol
power? “He's worried what people will
think,” says Harbers, "H he's not a regu
lar gay. he thinks people will not respect
him as much.

Ga grees, insisting that the notion
of specialness is dangerous and wouldn't
enhance whatever contribution he's ca-
pable of making. “I's screwed up. It sets
a bad example. 1 think eventually vou get
used to those things. then you're just ab-
normal. Um afraid Га get used to it.”

But Gates is clearly not a regular guy—
no matter how many all-night poker fests
he anends. or coach airline tickets he
buys. or bachelor parties he throws. or
ї wear. And sometimes. he
has to be reminded of that fact

Not so long ago. Gates and some
friends were drinking Dom Pérignon
and partying late. They decided they
were starving and wanted pizza. Gates
made the phone call but was told there
were no deliveries after one Ам. “He
looked up at us.” remembers a friend,
“and said, “They don't deliver this late.
We said. “Bill, you're Bill Gates, one of the
richest men in America. Do something
about it. How much is it worth to you to
have that pizza?’ And he thought for a
minute and said, “Iwo hundred forty-two
dollars.’ So he got back on the phone and
said. “This is Bill Gates and it's worth wo
hundred forty-two dollars for me to have
that pizza

"We got the pizza."

le doors

suits he w

HERE'S LOOKING

(continued from page 108)

of a young girl's getting dressed to leave
the house is enormously complex. Her
choice of what to wear is her choice of
what signals she means 10 convey to the
people who will see her. As she prep.
to go out, she has a look for herself in
mind. The range of possibili
to her is stage If she chooses I
baggy Army pants and her father's old
streiched-out. Irish fisherman's sweater
10 wear downtown, she’s going to be al-
most invisible. But if she chooses her
pink miniskirt with her white tank top.
she's going to get a lot of attention. with
only а small portion of it coming from
the people from whom she'd like to
ceive it, or being the kind of attention
she'd like to get from them.

These are matters in which very early
in her life, with a collection of 19 Barbies
and one Ken, my daughter began carry-
ing out an apprenticeship. lo choose
what to wear is to exercise a power, the
technology of which women master by
the time they are in their midteen

In warm weather. young women and
men gather outside my ollice building at
the University of Vermont. and the level
of hormonal energy often runs so high
out there that it renders invisible a pro-
fessorial type like me. This is the ideal
anthropological circumstance for observ-

ag the preliminary mating rituals of Sh
dentus americanus wniversitatus. Spoken
language may be essential for the male of
the tribe, but in this setting, the fe
can get along very well on body lang
and wardrobe signals alone
enough, the ones who merit real serutiny
e the dropouts, the young women who
for one reason or another have said
goodbye to all that and have chosen to
dress plainly. While their. fashionably
dressed sisters are standing, siting or
strolling in conversation. with young
men, the dropouts in their drab, loose-
fitting clothes move through the crowd.
alone and apparently purposeful. They

re literally out of it, the "и" being the
sexual fray.

Since they are so much in the minori-
ty—say, one for every 30 or 40 consciou
ly adorned coeds—one can hardly help
wondering why they've made such a
choice. Do they hate their bodies? Arc
they lesbians? Religious fanatics? Victims
ape or child molestation? The fact is

they may simply пог want to be
looked at “that way.” And it is remarkably
easy for them to choose not to be

But is this what I really want—women
10 мор constructing their appearances so
that I will stop ogling them? In spite of
my admiration for the ones who eschew it
all, che truth is that Pd hate it if women
stopped putting on their "summer dress-
es.” H seems comlortingly evident that
we two genders are collaborators in this
ogling business and that we'll all feel a lor

s available

better about it if we understand both the
fact and the nature of our collaboration.

Maybe we all do understand it; maybe
I'm just one of a lew men who don't ka
how to swim with the flow of co
тагу sexual politics. Standing in a gro-
сегу-моге check-out line, I cant help
remarking on a women's-magazine cover
with a provocatively dressed young wom-
an and the caption, sw YES TO SEXY
Checking out other magazine covers, I
am intensely reminded of how ^
way of life in a culture whose dominant
force is advertising. Sexy is m.
American ideology. But 1
noticing, too, that not person
around me has “said yes to sexy,” that the
40 or 50 of us there in the check-out area
are vour basic, drably dressed mid-Satur-
y grocery shoppers.

If I follow a young woman who has
id yes to sexy" all over town, it may be
t Ive simply received some positive
signals that weren't intended for me. Or
else Ive chosen to ignore any negative
als she has transmitted and allowed
actions to be determined by testos-
terone alone. In either case, faulty tech-
nology is the issue, and the result won't
be fun for anybody.

On the other hand, if in walking be-
hind her toward the English depart-
ments main осе. I take note ol my
colleague Professor Anm Fisher's pretty
legs. am I not simply registering once
again the refreshing fact that Lam a hv-
ing creature? Ош ol my usual guilt, 1
may lightly slap my cheek and swear not
to be allected by Professor Fisher's high
heels, subtly shaded hose and smoothly
shaved legs. (E still have that instinct to
whine about what a nice boy I an

1 think now of Ellen Bryant Voigt's po-
m The Wide and Varied World, which en-
tertains the question. of its. epigraph,
“Women, women, what do they want?”
and ends with this dark answer: "We want
what you want, only/we have to want it
more.”

Perhaps included in this "i" is our
mutual desire for more freedom from
sexual oppression. I find it painfully hu
miliating to be inappropriately provoked
to desire a woman, With me, as with ev
eryone else, it goes back a long way: 1 re
member attending а high school dance
around the age of 14 and walking across
about 40 acres of open floor to ask Tere
sa Robinson to dance, only to have her
glance up briefly and say, “No, thanks.”
Am I talking about mere social с
rassment? Obviously, that's |
about self-worth, about
tished in value that you
want to shrivel ир and dic. Manners n
be on the surface of this topic, but at its
center are crucial issues of dignity and
debasement. I know it's reasonable for a
woman to want tc red by invita-
tion only. I also think it’s reasonable ol a

стро-

sexy"

stream
t help

са

опе

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169

PELATI O'Y

170

man to want the invitation to desire to be
as precisely transmitted as possibl

Nobody's talking about putting
ng. Гус had occasion to r
thy a pleasure looki
Professor Fisher and I

to ogl
myself of how h

at women can be
are longtime friends, cach of us married
for the long haul. But, by God, 1 like the
sight of that woman, and if her face and
manners are any sign at all, she doesn't
half mind the sight of me. Professor Fish
cr and Ihave an ongoing regard for cach
other. Professor Fisher wears dresses |
like, maybe a little old fashioned in style
and conservative in cut, but they give her
а cheerful, dressed-up look. She keeps
her hair a decently generous length. In
my professional opinion, she has a smile
that would make an angel gain altitude.

But this is easy, right? Looking at an
old pal isn't ogling, except maybe by
Moslem standards. Lets try something
tough—a healthy case of ogling а
stranger. OK: I am about to pull out of
the grocery-store parking lot when a car
pulls over beside me, and before I even
look, I know the driver is a woman. You
know how when your car is sitting beside
another car, you cat help but let your
eyes shift over that way, but you dont
want to do it when the other person is
looking at you? Well, this time when it
happens, she and I lock eyeballs before
we know what we're doing. It’s warm
weather; we have our windows rolled
down: my radio is playing some aching,
midafternoon hillbilly ballad; and all of a
sudden, this woman and 1 are looki
deeply into cach other's eyes. Nothing
for it but to smile а bit and look back
straight ahead: we both do that, But like
what ve seen. This is a lady of my own
generation, and her face is both lively
and showing some wear. The history ol

her love life is more than one chapte
g, Pd bet on that. 1 like he
which has a rueful disci]

turn at the corners of her mouth, [ust as
the light cha and I turn back to
ward cach other and exchange another
glance, and this is the old heart squeeze,
the look that says, Stranger, you've got
your Ше and Tve ког mine, and we're
never going to sce cach other again, but
given a chance, we'd know how to spend
some hours together, now, wouldirt wez
She pulls out, 1 follow, and a block later. I
turn right to go to the gym, and she
keeps going. Um still feeling the buzz
from exchanging that last look with her.
so when I turn oll, ТЇШ а hand to wave to
her, | don't expect her even to see it,
though she could if she glanced in her
rearview mirror, Sure enough, she does,
she lifts a hand and waves back. 1 drive
on to the gym, squinting little tears out of
the comers of my eves.

МЇ right, so maybe within speaking
three sentences aloud, the woman and 1
would have hated each other. Maybe if
we'd gotten out of our cars, we'd have

smile

c to it, a wry

es, зім

been horrified at seeing what the rest of
us looked like, That's at least part of the
point: The lady and I didit se
lot—and maybe that’s the essence of
looking, that you never get to see it all
but we liked what we saw. I like
bering the sight of her so much that in
the
racquetball, 1 went to the big
the men's lockei
self ou ous act for a man my
age and my weight. But I wanted to sce
what that lady might have seen in me
that carned me a smile like hers. And you
know, 1 didwtthink [looked so bad

a whole

remem

gym, before E cha

ged clothes for

iro in
room and checked my-

a d

“Yes, Hal, I sent for your course and listened
to all the tapes, and even though I had poor credit and
no cash, the very next day, I went out and bought
all the sex I needed with no money!

PRO FOOTBALL FORECAST

(continned [vom page 132)

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In last year's di
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good season.

The rap on the Dolphins the past few
years has been weak delense. Detensive
end Jell Cross (114 sacks) and under-
sized linebacker John Oflerdahl are
prime players, but Cross needs help on
the line and те Dolphins need some new
bodies to All in for linebackers CHI
Odom, questionable because of injury,
and Hugh Green, a ripe 32 years old.

The New York Jets still aren't a very
good football team, but at least they play
harder than the crashing bores who have
recently embarrassed the Big Apple
Credit coach Bruce Coslet and general
manager Dick Steinberg, the new kids on
the block, who demand more sweat Irom
the Jets and get it. Jets sweat resulted in
two extra wins in 1990-1901, 22 fewer
sacks allowed and ten more made and
the fomth-best rushing average (1329
yards per game) in the N.El

Retooling the anemic Jets, however,
is a formidable job. Quarterback Кеп
O'Brien is simply hlling in until either
Iroy Taylor or number-one draft pick
Browning Nagle хеше in as the new
number one. Blair. Thomas could be а
great running back if the ollensive line
could open a few holes

The detensive line has tackle Dennis
Byrd (15 sacks) and not much ење. The
Jets linebacki is unremarkable, and
only Erik McMillan is impressive in the
defensive backfield. Overall detensively,
the Jets finished 23rd

Looking at the numbers, its hard to
understand how the Indianapolis Colts
won seven games. They had the second-
worst overall offense in football, the
third-worst defense. The Colis. landed
hometown hero Је George, the quarter-
back of the future; but mortgaged their
future by giving up Pro Bowl lineman
Chris Hinton, wide receiver Andre Rison
and this year's number-one dralt pick

‹
pretty good rookie season—16 touch

alt, Shula added ollen-
| Keith
no. They were in-

must tebou

age had, under the conditie

downs and. 13 interceptions. The condi
tions were lousy pass protectio
weak rushing game, He sh
granulated for showing up every neck
Running back Eric Dickerson is not the
superstar he was, due partly Lo age, part
ly to a lack of blocking, However, Jessie

ald be e

Hester (17.1-yard
a welcome surprise

The guys who were supposed 10 be 1
ауз studs on defense didn't play like it.
End Jon Hand was a major disappoint-
meni (only three and a half sacks) after a
contrac holdout, a acker Fredd
Young—obtained from Seattle a couple
of years ago for two number-one picks—

we per catch) was
t receiver

has retired.

Why guy like Dick
MacPherson leave a cushy job at Syra-
cuse where he had built the Orange
men into a top-20 team—for a foxhole
Why would Sam Jankovich
© sun and sand and status of his
athletic director of. perennially
top-ranked Miami to run a team whose
prospects look dimmer than its 1-15
record? Evidently, New England Pati
ots owner Victor Кі, found time Бе-
tween bad jokes to swect-talk both men
into taking on (he biggest rebuilding
challenge in pro football.

The Patriots make good tabloid copy,
but they are awful at football st, they
have по quarterback. Rookie Tommy
Hodson survived six starts last season:
the Pats have added Hugh Millen, who
wasnt very good with Atlanta, The offen-
sive line was inellective, giving up
sacks, and so was the running game (New
England finished 25th in the league).

On defense, first-round draft. choice
Chris Singleton. didnt contribute at
linebacker alter а lengthy contract hold-
ош. An uninspired Andre Tippett under-
performed, recording just three and a
hall sacks. Ihe defensive backheld got
bear often and deep.

Short of hoping for the Second Com-
ing, the Patriots should concentrate on
developing young talent. Get rid of Ir-
ving Fryar, who has always been more
trouble than he is worth, Give Hodson
and dralt pick Scott Zolak long looks at
quarterback.

would a nice

Foxboro?
trade i
post a

CENTRAL DIVISION
AMERICAN FOOTBALL CONFERENCE

Cincinnati Bengals
Houston Oilers
Pittsburgh Steelers
Cleveland Browns

Cincinnati т
Central (10
nents the past two seasons). bu
Bengals maul anyone else (7-13 ou
the division)? Houston wins most s
on offense bur
s. The Stcelers are the
best team in football when opponents
throw the ball (Pittsburgh led the N.EL.
in pass defense) but can't pass the
selves. And in опе se (Cleveland
went [rom perennial contender to eve
body's favorite punchi
Coach Sam Мусе thinks this could be
the year for his Cincinnati Bengals.
“Boomer Esiason, running back James

versus. division

Brooks and receivers Eddie Brown and
Tim McGee are all in their prime,” says
Wyche, who somehow found time to talk
between his running battles with football
commissioner Paul Tagliabue. Мусе is
right. This is ihe year of the tiger in the
Central Division.

Esiason, despite 22 interceptions
(many of them on tips and deflections),
threw for 24 touchdowns last year. He
se ortable than ever as the
man in Brooks had another
1000-yard season and is a superbly con-
d ed athlete, despite the fact that he's
32 years old. Fullback Ickey Woods, fully
ішу, should be
back to his Super Bowl XXII form.
McGee and Brown are gifted receivers
who didn't see enough of the ball—Esii
son's pass protection seldom held up
long enough lor them to get downfield.

Line play was the team’s bugaboo last
son. The Bengals gol bur лед by the

s more coi

charge

IS Malaya Anthony Muñoz: sul
rn rotator сий. Guard Bruce Reimers
¿ke his foot. On defense, the Bengals
ked presence up front. Their entire
defensive line combined for just 11 sacks
and allowed opponents a hefty 4.7 yards
per rush.

Muñoz is an absolute
sive line is to get b
The domi

ecessity il the
k to champi-
defensive

oll
onship form.
lin n the Be
able in the draft.

Is needed wasn’t avail-

so they settled for
linchacker Alfred Williams. He will im-
prove the pass rush. Finally, Wyche must
avoid butting heads with Tagliabue and
the media if his team is to boom this year.

If you think the forward pass is the
path to glory in the ? you have to
love coach Jack Pardec's run-and-shoot
offense. The Houston Oilers’ nu
are mind-bo;
yards passing (that's almost tl
37 touchdowns via airmail,
pletion percentage of more than 60 per-
cent. The top gun of this aerial attack is,
of course, Pro Bowl Q.B. Warren Moon
Only dislocated thumb in a
against Cincinnati in week 15 kept Moon
from toppling Dan Marino’s records for
passes attempted and completed and
yardage gained.

If you're a wide receiver who likes to

keep busy, Houston is the place. The
Oilers. "Fab. Four”—Haywood |ellires,
Drew Hill, Ernest Givins and Curtis Dun
can—split 286 receptions almost evenly
g them.
s more to the Oilers, however,
than ollensive explosiveness. The de-
fense, headed by tackle Ray Childress,
Î in the league—eighth
sh, Last year's first-round
choice, linebacker Lamar Lathon, should
make Houston even better this year

So if everything's so rosy, how come

bers
than 5000
с miles),
pass-con

ing: more

game

was ТИБ ove

against the ni

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PLAYBOY

172

the Oilers won only nine games? Why
just a second-place finish this year? Be-
se they are consistently inconsistent.
son, Houston crushed the Ben-

and struggling Rams two and three
weeks later. When crunch time came in
alts, the Oilers turned their ear-
inst Cincii i into

Moon at the helm for all 16 games
would be helpful, though backup Cody
Carlson isn’t bad. Houston must learn to
win on the road—and іп bad weather—i
Moon and company hope to shoot (ог
the big prize.

A couple of years ago, the Pittsburgh
Steelers” Chuck Noll was just another
old-guard coach and a likely prospect lor
Sun City retirement-condo salesmen.
Then Pittsburgh got Steely again. H
wasn't exactly а return to the days of Ter-
ry Bradshaw and the Steel Curtain, but
Noll's club. fought its way back to re-
spectability. The rebuilding job may not
be done, but Noll is busy hammering
away

Quarterback Bubby Brister should
shine in the second year of offensive co-
ordinator Joe Walton's complex system.
Eric Green, the huge tight end drafted
out of Liberty University last year, hit it
big, with 34 receptions for an H.-4-yard
average. But the Steelers are weak at
wide receiver, where Louis Lipps,
quick as he once was, is the only prov
talent

ШЕ
n

Noll is unhappy with running back
Tim Worley, who had two disappointing
years since being drafted. number one.
Merril Hoge, who has carried ıhe mail
reliably from the fullback slot, may shift
to halfback, giving Barry Foster more
playing time.

Unless you live in Pittsburgh, you
probably haven't heard of most of the
Steclers! defensive. players—nose tackle
Gerald Williams, linebackers David Lie
Bryan Hinkle and Hardy Nickersc
They're not famous, but they are fierce.
The Steelers were the number
fense in football last year, holding oppo-
nents t0 a mere rds-per-game
average. Their one marquee player, cor-
nerback Rod Woodson, is as good as his
reputation —and he's a top kick returner,

Noll needs consistency. from his ol-
fense. Worley must get serious and play
like a number-one pick. The ret ў
defensive end Aaron Jones, who m
nine games last year with а broken foot,
will make the defense even better.

Owner Art. Modell and his Cleveland
Browns would like to fo
The once-proud Browns set club records
for losses (13), points allowed (462) and
fewest points scored (228). Coach Bud
са зей alter Buffalo
creamed the Browns at home 49-0 in
we Ollensive coordinator Jim
Shofner took over and the Browns re-
sponded by fi pro
Carson wasn’t the only problem

Cleveland's headaches began before

tle

one de-

зет last season.

son was c

nine.

YOUR

AFTER SIX YEARSIN NURSING; I NEVER.

YOU HAVE TO BEA REAL ASSHOLE TO PALL
ON HEAD FROM A TOILET! IN FACT,

SAW

ANYBODY AS PLAIN FUCKING STUPID AS You!

GODDAMN Dummy!

training camp. Some players held өш:
some reported late. Others, uninspired
by the Browns’ prospects, retired. Cleve-
land went into the season unprepared
and unhappy.

Quarterback Bernie Kosar, never
known for his mobility, 100k a season-
long beating behind an undermanned

па
ng more intercep

ollensive line. He failed physically
psychologically, throw
tions than touchdowns lor the first time
in his career. The defense joined the re
treat and the scason was lost

Owner Art Modell started to look sus-
piciously like George Steinbrer
he hired his fourth head coach
years, former Giants defensive coordin
tor Bill Belichick, Belichick, who says he
enjoys challenges, should have a ball with
the Browns,

The bright spots are Kosar, still only
„who reads defenses as well as any oth-
er quarterback in football: receivers Web-
ster Slaughter and Reggie Langhorne
and running back Kevin Mack. a quick
30-pound truck. The defense bas nose
tackle Michael Dean Perry—all the talent
Fridge" without the
ads of opportunities for new-

calo-

comers.

If the Browns show up with a decent at-
titude, they will win more than the three
os they w The ollen-
sive line must protect Kosar. Delichick's
power-running scheme could help take
the pressure off Kosar’s leaden legs. The
Browns also need a capable place kicker
and punter

n last se

son.

WESTERN DIVISION
AMERICAN FOOTBALL CONFERENCE

Kansas City Chiels 11-5
Los Angeles Raiders
San Diego Chargers
Seattle Seahawks
Denver Broncos.

Was it only
ALEC. West was pro football's we:
vision? This season, it could
strongest. The Chiel, | Raiders
gers all have defenses as h
nails. The Seahawks finished last se
above .500 and Dan Reeves is too god
1 John Elway too good a quar
ick—for the stay down
for lon:

The Kansas City Chiefs (11-5) posted
their best record since 1969, thanks to a
strong rushing game, а gutsy perform
ance by quarterback Steve DeBerg and a
ferocious pass rush (60 sacks led the
N.EL.). Coach Marty Schortenheim
isni satished: “We're not anywhere near
where we'd like to бе. There's no satisfac
tion at this point.” A date in Minneapolis
in January will be the only cure for Schot-
tenheimer's malaise.

Defensive end Neil Smith is a kev to
the Се future success. A number-one

Кем di-
be те

and
ка

ason
la

Broncos

dralt pick in 1988, Smith may finally be
ready to spread his wings (he has an arm
span of 7112). Playing next to Smith is
nose tackle Dan Saleaumma—perhaps
the best Plan B acquisition ever

Ihe linebacking, with Derrick Thom-
as. Chris Martin and Percy Snow, can
only ger bener. The secondary stars Ар
bert Lewis, who blocked four punts last
season on special teams, and the aging
but still elective Deron Cherry

Mier 14 years as the consummate jour-
neyman quarterback, DeBerg demon-
strated both his skill and his courage last
season, He finished as the league's third-
anked passer, attempting 444 passes
a 958, with only four inter-
ceptions. He fractured a finger on his left

ıd completin

hand in û g

game against Houstor

са na-
the
hı by a trainer on

tional television audience cringed a

digit was yanked str

the side line. DeBerg, who afterward re-
ferred to himself as Freddie Kruger
inder of the season with
4

The Chiels need to score more touch-

played the rem

a cast on his hai

downs instead of settling for field goals

inside opponents 20-yard lines, and thi
defense must stop the opposition when
the chips are on the table. Kansas City
blew leads in the final five minutes of
four of its five regular-season losses last
year. Will Schoitenheimer—frustrated so
many times in his years at Cleveland
finally get over the hump at Kansas City?
Don't bet against it

Alter four seasons of staying home for

the play-offs, a 13-5 record and a trip to
the A.EC. title game should have tasted
sweet to the Los Angeles Raiders. In-
stead, the final course was bitter—L..A.
was annihilated by Bulalo in what
Raiders delensive tackle Bob Golic accu-
rately called a debacle. The Raiders have
spent the olf season biding their time
and licking their wounds

Coach Art Shell will a:
ver-and-Black legacy of toughness to in-
spire his team. Psychologist Shell turned
quarterback Jay Schroeder around, when
only a ycar ago, he appeared ready for
early retirement. Schroeder threw for 19
LDs with only nine interceptions, end-
ing LAs quarterback louery of recent
у

in usc the Sil-

m
OF course, only Bo Jackson and his
doctors know whether Bo will run again
Marcus Allen and lormer 49er. Roger
Craig will get more time if he doesnt
The Raiders’ offensive line— particularly
Steve Wisniewski, Don Mosebar and Max
Montoya—can open holes for whoever
happens to be carrying the ball

Оп defense, Greg Townsend and
healthy Howie Long give the Raiders the
authority up front they ve lacked the past
few seasons

Owner Al Davis did some gambling on
draft day—using his fomth-round pick
om Raghib Ismail just in case the Rocket
gets ured of playing second fiddle to a

hockey stick in Canada and comes home
to the NEL

1с5 impossible to forget Dan Fouts,
“Air” Coryell and the glory days of the
San Diego Chargers. Ihose Chargers
were all pass offense and no defense. the
Chargers of today are one of the most
hard-nosed defensive teams in football.
The passing game? Well, it has room for
improvement

Pass rushing is a Chargers defensive
forie. Defensive end Leslie O'Neal had
13% sacks, while Lee Williams and Burt
Grossman were busy occupying offensive
linemen. Second-year player Junior Seau
is a Pro Bowl linebacker in ihe making
Overall, the Chargers! defense finished
fifth in the league. Its only problem was
an offense that gave away field position
because of frequent mistakes

The man in the hot seat is Billy Jo
Tolliver, who has yet to show the consist-
ency needed from a starting N.EL. quar-
terback. And so lar, general manager
Bobby Beathard has
perienced backup.

failed to find an ex-

The Chargers running game is in
good shape, thanks ro runaway train
Marion Butts, who finished as the second
leading rusher (1225 yards) in the А
San Diego needs another wide receiver
to take some pressure olf Anthony Miller
Nose tackle Joe Phillips, injured in an
off-the-field assault last season, bolsters
the middle of an already stubborn
Chargers defense.

The Seattle Seahawks, racked by in-
juries and short on talent, still finished
9-7, thanks to superb coaching by the
fashionably svelte Chuck Knox and de-
fensive coordinator Tom Catlin.

Seven linebackers went down; still,
Catlin patched together a defense that
finished ninth overall in the league. The
key to his success was switching to a lour-
three scheme that helped aging Jacob
Green have one of his best years ever
(12% sacks). Another inspiration was
Catlins switching outside linebacker
Tony Woods to delensive end. Now, with
linebackers David Wyman and Terry
Wooden recovered from injuries, he has
eve

Scoring points will be Seattle’s biggest
challenge. Dave Krieg, who had 20 inter-
ceptions and 16 fumbles, is still the num-
ber-one quarterback. Seattle took 67“
О.В. Dan McGwire with its first pick in
the draft this year, but he's a long-term
project. Running backs John L. Williams
and Derrick Fenner make а happy tan
dem (1573 yards combined), but the Sea-
hawks’ offensive line, except for tackle
Andy Heck, is going geriatric. And Knox
has to be careful not to put that weight
back on

Which was worse for the Denver Bron-
cos—geiting the stuffing knocked out of
them by the 49ers two years in a row in
the Super Bow! or finishing at the bot-
tom of the division (5-11)? Head coach

more options.

Without Black,
it would all be flat.

Ultimately theres Black.

е көп оттим SOMERSET CO. Nr NY OHNE WALKER и лекува
мр SCOTCH ини (OR EV (60)

PLAYBOY

174

Dan Reeves would pick the former, but
back 10 the Super Bowl will be a
climb

Quarterback John Elway is coming oll
а mediocre season: 14 interceptic
only 15 touchdowns, nor bad fo

some
guys but nothing special for a superstar.

was sacked a conference-leading
43 times, partly because of his willing:
to scramble, partly because his offensive
line left him no choice. With tackle Ger-
ald Perry traded to the Rams, that line
looks even shakier

Ihe Denver defense was anything but

imidating after injuries revealed its
lack of depth. Cornerback ‘Tyrone Brax-
ton returns at foll strength, but defensive
end Alphonso. Carreke
after back surgery. The Broncos jumped
au the chance to draft linebacker Mil
Croel out of Nebraska as the fourth se-
lection in the draft's first round. Safe
Steve Atwater and Dennis Smith
hitters but some
cove

Reeves has to refocus his tea
Broncos, accustomed 10 winning,
not happy campers last season. Perry
must be replaced on the offensive linc
Rookie Croel should step into a star
role immediately

is questionable

big
mes get burned in deep

. The
were

EASTERN DIVISION
NATIONAL FOOTBALL CONFERENCE

Washington Redskins 12-4
New York бїапїз..... 212-4
Philadelphia Eagles aos SET
Dallas Cowboys 8-8
Phoenix Cardinals 4-12

It was no sur
per Bowl winne
East—the toughest and most entei
ing division in football. Not only did the
Giants win the gold, they won our un-
official best-perfor -the
adversity award, having lost sev
players—including star quarterback Phil
Simms—hefore the play-offs. The Eagles
were the clear winners in the soap-opera
category, for the Buddy Ryan story. The
Redskins simply got no respect, while the
Cowboys switched from being the joke of
the division t0 its most promising up-
and-comer. And the Cardinals? Well,
they're secretly plotting a realignment of
the conferences so that they don't have to
play the other teams in the Fastern Divi-
sion twice every season.

The Washington Redskins will go го
Minneapolis for Super Bowl XXVI if
quarterback. Mark Rypien stays healthy
for an entire season. He was 134 in his

Chief Howling Owl and his accountant on the warpath.

past 17 starts. Last year, despite missing
six games, he still passed for 2070 vards
and 16 touchdowns.

The Posse—Art Monk, Gary Clark and
Ricky Sanders—totaled an astounding
199 receptions for more than 2600 yards
Redskins fans don't call the ollensive line
The Hogs anymore; they just call it good.
Earnest Byner and Gerald. Riggs are a
formidable one-two punch ar running
back, and the Redskins added USC's
Ricky Ervins with their second pick in the
draft

On defense, Washington, who tradi-
tionally deals high draft picks for veter-
ans, used a rare first-round choice to nab
Michigan State defensive lineman Bobby
Wilson. The of the defense is a
g blend of youth and experience,

Matt. Millen at linebacker and Terry
Hoage at safety—both added through
Plan B—have to play well. The Redskins
have settled on Kelly Goodburn as
punter to replace Ralf Mojsiejenko, who
was waived last season.

Was Bill Parcells’ sudden resi
as coach of the New York Giants a sy
tom of mid-life crisis or simply brilli
marketing strategy? No chump, Parcells
peered into his crystal ball and saw a
Scott Norwood kick go through the up-
rights—and the Giants and himself turn
to clay. Remember that the Giants fol-
lowed their last Super Bowl win with a
last-place finish in the division. Why take
а chance on failure when by steppmg
down, Parcells automatically enshrines

himself in the John Madden-Bill Walsh
I V-commentator club, wherein you get
paid amounts of money for reflect-

ing on your past successes?

Parcells leaves successor Handley
a team perfectly suited to Handley's con-
servative football philosophy. A former
Parcells assistant, Handley likes to con-
trol the game and the Giants arc a ball-
control team, a fact they de ued m
the first nme minutes and 29 seconds of
the second hall of Super Bowl XXV with
а grinding drive that ended in the go-
head touchdown that shattered. the
Bills! confidence.

Handleys biggest decision. will be
whether to play veteran. Phil Simms or
emerging star Jel Hostetler. Simms has
recovered from the foot injury that side-
ed him in мсек 14 and Hostetler is
ready to prove that his day in the Super
Bowl sun was no fluke

The Giants have a massive offensive
line to protect either quarterback. In
ict, tackles Jumbo Elliott. and Doug
Riesenberg, guards William Roberts and
Eric Moore and c Barı Oates were
the unsung heroes of Super Bowl XXV.
bling the Giants to hog the ball and
win the gani

However, it’s sull the Giants’ defense,
second-best overall in the N.FL
the strength of the team. And
linebacking corps—Lawrence Taylor, Carl

Banks and Pepper Johnson—is the heart
of that strength

The biggest problem the Giants face is
¡US tough to repeat as Super
Bowl champ. Three and three in the last
they
rcells
icks
could drop them to third or lower fast

history:

six games of the regular season
As P

bles or missed

never blew opponents away

knew well, a few f

Ryan went on an Ultra Slim.
1 lost 40 pounds. Philadel-
Eagles owner Norm Braman went

Buddy
Fast diet
phi

on his own dict alter

his tei

n again

dropped its first-round. play-off game
and lost Buddy Ryan. Actually, Braman
was contemplating Ryan's demise after
the Eagles stumbled to а 1-3 start. Then
the team got back on its feet and into the
play-offs by riding the arms and legs of
quarterback. Randall Cunningham, who
threw for 3466 yards, 30 touchdowns and
only 13 interceptions. In his spare tim
Cunningham rushed for 942 yards and
five touchdowns

The Eagles’ lackluster showing against
the Redskins in the play-ofls—during
which Ryan benched Cunningham for a
rusty Jim MeMahon—was the final straw
for Braman, who didn't much care for
Ryan's style, anyway. He first installed of-
fensive coordinator Rich Коше as head
ach, then hired Cleveland
coach Bud Carson to run the defens

Carson inhe

former

tsa defense that includes

o Pyraponle Indi
FO Box 27809 + Dept. PB-9C

Reggie White, the finest defensive end in
football, plus hard-hitting linebacker
Seth Joyner and stellar corner man Eric
Allen.

Offensively, the Eagles’ world revolves
around Cunningham. Keith Byars rums,
blocks, catches and even passes (four
times last season for four touchdowns)
Other than All-Pro tight end Keith Jack
son, though, the receivers are ave

Since there is no viable backup at quar-
terback, the Eagles need Cunningham
healthy and available for 16-plus games
The defense, а bunch of renegades un-
der Ryan, will have to play with more dis-
cipline under the stodgier Carson. Philly
fans can only hope that Ryan wasn't as
good a coach as he said he was.

If the front runners in the East hear
footsteps behind them, it’s the sound of
cowboy boots. The Dallas Cowboys, only
two years ago the league's door mat and
laughingstock, won seven games last sca-
son and nearly made the play-offs. No
joke, they're even better now.

Hatred of the Cowboys has always
been tough to fathom. Sure, their Amer-
ica's Team moniker was obnoxious, but
lots of fans hated them simply for being
good. When the Cowboys stopped win-
ning, their fans hated them for being
bad. They wanted Landry fired for losing
nd when new owner Jerry Jones obliged

them, they decided they loved Landry

However you feel about Jones and
head. coach. Jimmy Johnson, there's no
disputing they came to play. Among their
many personnel moves: trading Her-
schel Walker for a bunch of players and
draft picks; drafting quarterback Troy
Aikman; picking quarterback Steve
Walsh in the supplemental draft: trading
Walsh for more draft picks; signing 16
players under Plan В in 1990, seven of
whom made the team; wading up for
over-all number-one pick Russell Mary-
land and down for a slew of lower-round
choices. And in next year's draft, the
Cowboys have more
choices and seven picks in the first three
rounds.

There's a lesson in all this for the cur-

two number-one

rent door mats of pro football: It's still
possible to wheel and deal your team in
to contention

Aikman had shoulder surgery in the
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Smith gained 937 yards last year despite
a pre-season contract holdout, while the
Cowboys added rookie Alvin Harper
10 an already speedy corps of wide re-
ceivers.

The Cowboys are probably a year away
from making a run at the East title. but

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PLAYBOY

176

they can bushwhack the division if 2
man's wing is completely healed, if the
offensive line comes together and if
Maryland plays up to his number-one
potential.

When you finish last in a tough d
sion and the team
you is the rapidly improving Cowboys,
you have to roll the dice. That's exactly
what the Phoenix Cardinals did when
they chose defensive lineman Ел
with the sixth pick in the first round of
the draft. Swann didn't play a down in
college, because he failed to score 700 on
his S.A. E. (which doesn't say much for the
S.A.T., since Swann is both intelligent
and articulate). He's also 64" and fright-
eningly fast for a man who weighs 310
pounds. Perhaps the Cards felt lucky
after last year's draft, when they stole
running back Johnny Johnson, who гап
for 996 yards and made the Pro Bowl.

"There are other bright spots on the
Redbird horizon. Quarterback Timm
Rosenbach showed signs of shaking the
new-kid jitters last winter, passing for 682
yards and six touchdowns in the last two
regular-season games. Running back An-
thony Thompson proved himself after

mediately ahead of
m|

Johnson was hurt. Strong safety Tim Mc-

Donald, the team's leading tackler and
interceptor, is one of the league's best.
Coach Joe Bugel kept team spirits high
despite only five wins and has the
confidence of owner Bill Bidwill.

Swann. the long shot, has to
prove a winner. Dexter Manley, once а
premiere pass rusher, has to show he has
something left. The defensive line must

once a strength, m
Phoenix is to rise from th

CENTRAL DIVISION
NATIONAL FOOTBALL CONFERENCE
Chicago Bears. .... 10-5
Minnesota Vikings. 10-5
Detroit Lions ....... 6-10
Green Bay Packers 4-12
Tampa Bay Buccaneers . 4-12

Let's face it. Pro football's legenda
black-and-blue division is now mos
mediocre. The gs, Lions, Bucs and
s all finished 6-10 last season. And
s, who beat only one opponent
who ended the season over „500, weren't
nearly as good as their 11-5 record.
The be р arc the Chicago
Bears, duc in no small part to coach
Mike Ditka, who, when he maintains his
cool, is one of the best motivators in foot-
ball. The Bears started fast a year ago
(nine wins in their first ten games) and
appeared ready to challenge the 46
and the Giants until quarte
Harbaugh a
shoulder injury. Harbaugh, who h:
reer completion percentage of
back. Soldier Field boo-bird favorite
Mike "omczak is not. He went to Green
Bay under Plan B, leaving the man with
two first names, Peter Tom Willis, as Har-
baugh's backup.
Running back Neal Anderson (1078
yards rushing, 484 receiving) is CI
go's bread-and-butter man, but fullback
Brad Muster, with 47 receptions and 664

of the gre

"If I were your age, honey, my ass would be

green with grass stains

by now.”

ushing, is an emerging star. And
e's Ditka on the Bears’ offensive lin
the five who started the 1985
Bears Super Bowl victory: “Old men with
beards— love ‘em all.”

On defense, the always-bruising Bears
finished a respectable sixth in the N.F.L.
Defensive back Mark Carrier set à team.
record with ten interceptions and won
the М.КС. Defensive Rookie of the Year
award. While William Perry showed that
he could close the refrigerator door on
opposing rushers, cighttime Pro Bowler
Mike Singletary began to look human,
particularly in pass coverage. Younger
linebackers Ron Cox and John Roper
will see lots of playing time this year.

Quarterback Harbaugh must get off to
a strong start so that Ditka doesn't waffle
to P T Willis. Anderson has to stay
healthy, since the Bears have little depth
behind him. Defensive end Richard
Dent. one of the premiere pass rushe
in football, must play with intensity every
week. Ditka has to keep his composure.

The Minnesota Vikings are pro foot-
ball's classic underachievers. And yet, to
the amazement of many, head coach Je
ry Burns keeps his job.

The key to a Vikings resurgence won't
be coaching but the return of a healthy
Keith Millard. He missed the fi п
on with a bum knes

games of last s

Without Millard in the middle, the ou
side capabilities of sackmaster Chris
Dolemai severely curtailed.

Ray B. sp the retired Scott
Studwell in the middle. Mike Merri-
weather the only other sure starter at
linebacker: Strong safety Joey Browner

dominates the defensive backfield and
cornerback Reggie Rutland is one of the
league's best cover men.

On offense, Burns gave runni
Herschel Walker a vote of
fidence—pulling him from the game
most every ште he fumbled. Walker
ved more yards reining kickolls
y he did rushing. Quarterback Wade
Wilson, games with
thumb and shoulder troubles, was un-
spectacularly replaced by Rich Ganno
The Vikings’ receiving corps of Carter
squared, Anthony and Cris, plus Hassan
Jones, is one of the league's best
s must ignite a winning attitude in
the Vikes or seek work as a double for
Burgess Meredith. Wilson must show he's
the man at quarterback who can make
things happen. And Walker has to let ev-
erything hang out—Minnesota needs
nance and less potential.
siest schedule in the N.F.L

ng back
io com

who missed ten

The Detroit Lions are sticking with
their Silver Sucich offense, à version of
the run-and-shoot. Too often last season,

consisted of three quick downs and a
to the side That left a you
id promising defensive team on the
field too often and too long. The Lions

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finished dead last in N.EL. defense
certain path to destruction

Injuries to linebacker Chris Spielman
and defensive back Bennie Blades, two of
the Lions top cats, exacerbated the
team’s defensive woes. Spielman and
Blades are back, s morose nose tackle
Jerry Ball, who asked to be traded but
w Mike Cofer is on his way to be-
coming one of the N.EL.'s dominant
linebackers.

On offense, the Lions are blessed with

Barry Sanders, the leading rusher in the
N.EL. last season and one of the most
exciting runners ever to це on a pair of
cleats. With Rodney Peete and Andre
Ware at quarterback, Detroit is rich on
youth and potential. Ware, a number-one
draft pick last year, missed camp because
of a contract holdout and saw little ас-
tion, Peete played well s but was
often hurt.
The Lions need ollensive
apons, if only to keep opposing teams
m ganging up on Sanders. Peete and
Ware have to learn to read defenses апа
the Lions’ m y defense must avoid the
injuries that crippled it last season.

Ihe most important new wrinkle for
the Green Bay Packers in the oll season
may have been the shifting of contract-
negotiating duties from player personnel
director Tom Braatz io C.F.O. Mike Rein-
feldt. The Packers have been plagued by
an inability to get players signed and in-
10 training camp on time. Reinfeldt faces
a tough job with quarterback Don. Maj-
kowski, linebacker lim Harris, kicker
Chris Jacke and backup Q.B. Anthony
Dilweg, unsigned as we go to press.

With the Pack out of sync early and a
rotator-cull injury to Majkowski th;
him out for the final six games (the
hnished 1-5), coach “Lindy Infante
couldn't halt the downfall of a
had been 10-6 in 1989.
games away but plays away fron
successful," says a hopelul Infante.

Running back Darrell Thompson.
Packers first-round pick 1 has
failed to live up to expectations. Some of
problems can be attributed to Green
Bay's miserable ollensive line, which at
least was consistent, failing run-blocking
and pass-protection assignments with
equal abandon

You've probably never heard of the
Pack's defensive linemen, and with good
эп. Last year, the Pack was 27th in
sacks and nd in overall defense.
Linebacker Harris, а big talent with a
bigger mouth, fell from 19% sacks in
1989 to seven last scason—nothing to
Бош. The Green Bay secondary is
fast nor young, and the punting
) is weak
y is more important to Infante,
more unlikely, than the return of quar-
back Majkowski to his 1989 form
Whoever plays Q.B. will need time to put
the ball in the hands of All-Pro receiver
Sterling Sharpe and the holdouts must

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PLAYBOY

180

all sign before the leaves turn cole

Young, inexperienced but always
promi the Tampa Bay Buccaneers
finished 6-10 last season, th best
d since 1984. The Bucs jumped out
omising fashion (4-2) before revert-
ing to form and dropping six ina row—
losses that cost coach Ray Perkins his job.
Owner Hugh Culverhouse decided to
мау in house, promoting assistant
d Williamson first to interim and
then to permanent head coach. When
asked why he anointed Williamson, Cul-
verhouse responded, “I'm not sure Ihave
a good answer."

The Bucs aren't sure that Vinny Tes-
taverde, the quarterback who was sup-
posed to save the franchise, can make
them а winner. After four seasons in the
pros, Testaverde still has a fondness for
throwing the ball to the wrong team—he
had 18 interceptions last year compared
with 17 touchdown passes. Chris Chan-
dler, who cost the Bucs a number-one
draft choice іп 1992, is ready И Tes-
taverde runs more cold than hot.

Mark Carrier, the Bucs’ best receiver,
had a subpar season: His contract hold-
ош was followed by a season of double
coverage and pass protection that didn't
hold up long enough for him to go deep

Tampa Bay's paper-towel defensive
line got no quick pickup from the draft:
there was little line talent available. Flovd
Pet lormerly the Vikings” defensive
coordinator, would like to shift the Bucs
loa four-three, but he may not have the
bodies 10 do it. Linebackers Keith Mc-
Cants and Broderick Thomas аге his on-
ly stars,

It's time for Testaverde to prove he's
not a head case. Williamson says. “We
want football to be fun." The Bucs will
find that it’s more fun winning now than
thinking about it later.

WESTERN DIVISION
NATIONAL FOOTBALL CONFERENCE

San Francisco 49ers. 12-4
Atlanta Falcons 8-8
New Orleans Saints. 7-9
Los Angeles Rams 6-10

The San Francisco 49ers continued to
dominate the N.EC. West—and most of
the rest ol pro football, as ме! 1 s€
son. reeling oll ten straight wins to start
the year а 2 regular-sea-
son record. But their three-peat dream
fizzled. Now а few cracks have appeared
in the castle walls, and soon the rest of
the West may storm the ramparts.

Cracks or not, the 49ers are still à very
good football team. They will be until
quarterback Joe Montana stops throwing
passes and heads for the Hall of Fame.
And then there's the incomparable Jerry
Rice, who had 100 catches for 1502 yards
and 13 T.D.s. But when Roger Craig hurt
his knee, opposing defenses began to ig-
nore the run, forcing Montana into a ca-
reer-high 16 interceptions. The 49ers

had to press, coming from behind nine
times. The defense played brilliantly,
with linebacker Charles Haley providing
the perspiration and safety Ronnie Lott
the inspiration, But the days of ‘Niner
dominance were numbered, even before
Craig fumbled against the Giants in the
МЕС. championship game and San
ncisco lost its chance to make history.

Now coach George Seifert, who 1
lost only four -season games in
two years, seems to have more questions
than answers. Who will replace. Craig.
Lott and Matt Millen, lost to Plan Bz Can
offensive tackle Bubba Paris and nose
tackle Michael Carter, both well over 300
pounds last year, win the battle of the
bulge? Will one of the best quarterbacks
in football, Steve Young, be content to
watch from the side lines for vet another
Season: Even owner Eddie DeBartolo,
Ju. can't buy enough answers.

H quarterback Chris Miller stays:
healthy, this may be the year the Atlanta
Falcons win more often than they lose—
something that hasn't happened since
the strike-shortened 1982 season (54).
Miller was one of the top Q.B.s in the
league last season (2735 yards and 17
TDs) before breaking his collarbone.
Now he's back, with a steel plate and sev-
en screws, and coach Jerry Glanville's go-
for-broke mentality will stoke the offense
and the defense

Glanville has installed June Jones, one
of the original run-and-shoot innovators,
as his offensive coordinator. In Atlanta,
Ws called the Red Gun. Simply put, it
means spreading the field with four wide
receivers. The Falcons have а super of
fensive line to protect Miller and his
ded by six-time Pro Bowler
mer Mike Kenn and
lic.

The defense last season was strong
against the run. (3.3 vards per carry.
which was best in the league) and awful
against the pass. Fhe Falcons added Tim
Mckyer, obtained from Miami, who will
team with Deion Sanders in the defensive
backheld.

H Miller doesmt hold up this year, can-
cel all bets. Draft pick Brett Favre is t
ented but hardly ready. À happy and
productive Tony Casillas at nose tackle
would be а welcome change of pace.
Glanville must сипай his tendency to
force the Falcons to overplay.

Ihe New Orleans Saints made the
-offs last season. That's a pretty good
argument against the three-wild-card-
team system introduced last year by the
N.EL. The Saints couldn't or didn't want
to sign starting quarterback Bobby
Hebert, which forced them to play not-
ready-for-prime-time Steve Walsh. They
premiere running back Dalton
d in game six to a knee injury. T
Saints had the third-worst 1 over ratio
inthe NEL. C12), commited 108 penal-
ties on offense and wound up 23rd in 10-
tal offense and 15th in defense. They

In today's N.F
mediocrit

season, the bulk of last year’s rushi
went to the hulking Craig Heywa
at 260 pounds gained less than three
yards per pound for the year.

Renaldo Turnbull and Wavne Martin
are the future of the Saints’ defensive
line. Ihe stars of today are at lineback-
er—all four have been to the Pro Bowl at
one tme or another. Ihe secondary
misses veteran Dave Waymer, who left for
the 49ers under Plan В before last sea-
son. Kicker Morten Andersen is one of
the best in the business.

Now that Hebert has been signed,
Walsh will have а chance to mature some-
where other than in the middle of the
held. A healthy Hilliard and а slimmer
Heyward would bolster the offense.
Someone besides Eric Martin (63 catch-
es) must step forward from the receiving
corps. And the Saints must hope their
stellar linebacking corps has another
good season or two left

Last season, the Los Angeles Rams
proved the corollary of the proposition
“You win with defense." They didn't have
much and won only five times. It was on-
ly the second time the Rams have missed
the play-offs since 1983. Coach John
wed the gallows but had.
ice much of his defensive coach-
ing staff to owner Georgia Frontiere. Jeff
Fisher is Robinson's new defe
dinator. He learned his defense аз а Bear
under Buddy Ryan and will shift the
Rams from a three-four to an aggres-
sive four-three. Fisher's problem is that
the Rams don't really have much defens-
ive talent beyond cornerback Jerry Gray
ied five defensive players under
aft

nson was sp:

coor

but the here and now is dreary

On ollense, quarterback Jim Everett
shows a disturbing tendency to fold un-
der the slightest hint of defensive pi

sure. Still, his pals Henry Ellard
Willie Anderson both totaled more th:
1000 yards receiving. Running |

Cleve
Ш
The
str

nd Gary fumbled 12 times
B signee Curt Warner was а bust.
offensive is still а R.
gth, though Pro Bowlers Jackie

Slater and Doug Smith are 36 and 33, re-
spectively. Kicker Mike Lansford was cut
loose after а down year and former

Tony Zende]
e worth living in

Houston Oiler

s signed

moi

ly when the defense estab-
п attitude against
gh schedule will nor help

m oi

se this s

n wins.

қ your t

IPIE AN BOY

OWN- TE: 25 C ЕМЕ

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GRAPEVINE

Unstrapped INL
How come we never saw a bathing suit like this at -
the beach? Model/starlet JAY K. LEE struts her stuff
in her new movie called, appropriately enough,
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the round of applause.

A Uptown Cirls
x$ We bet some serious dishing went on at (his table full of tal-
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“ж to right) traded notes on Liza's recent Radio City Music Hall
show, Stepping Out, Eartha's recent gig at the Cafe Carlyle
in New York and Joan's new book, Love & Desire & Hate.
Eartha passed the breast test.

Hitting the
High Notes
OIFTA ADAMS has
been singing forever,
but when she toured
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she stepped into the
limelight. Circle of
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Hidden Assets

Actress TERRI BIVALACQUA has been
all over your TV set, from Tales from
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Townshend's НВО Comedy Hour. Now
that Grapevine has her, we expect Ter-
ri to jump-start your fantasy life.

She's
Benched but
Still Playing

DENISE AMES hangs out on a park bench, taking
a break between shooting The Last Boy Scout, starring Bruce
Willis, and her video Dangerzone III. Denise does cute extremely well.

Youth Wasn't
Wasted

on Young

NEIL YOUNG is still
here, he's still mak-
ing good music and
he's still following his
conscience. Young re-
cently came off a long
tour with the band
Crazy Horse in sup-
port of its LP Ragged
Glory. He períormed
a little Hendrix, a lit-
tle Dylan and a whole
lot of Neil Young.

БЕТТЕ

POTPOURRI

'THE SKY'S THE LIMIT

“Sky Warriors Aerial Laser Combat is the only
place in the world where nonmilitary people
can learn dogfight maneuvers from former mili-
tary fighter pilots,” says Jay Newell of Sky War-
riors in Atlanta. And, no, you don't have to have
а pilor’s license to make like à top gun in a

1-34, because there'll be a skilled. pilot sitting
right behind vou. The cost is 5490 а phase,
which includes a briehing, flight, debriefing, vid-
eo tape and beers, For more information, call
Sky Warriors at 404-699-7000. Way to 1

STRIPTHREES FOR THE SHOW

I being banned in South Africa
buying the board game Suipthrees, then think of it as a conversa
Чоп starter on such topics as AIDS and morality. As many as six
players move about the board, picking up Strip Cards depicting
various articles of clothing. When a player has a set of three Strip
Cards of any one type, he can ask any other player to remove that
article of clothing. And just to spice things up. there's а nasty Dev-
il Card that entitles the lucky holder to ask anyone playing to do
whatever he or she desires. Stripihrees costs $29.95. postpaid.
sent to Tridiscard International, Citicorp Center. One Sansome
Street. Suite 2100. San Francisco 94104. Or call 800-4

sit а good enough reason for

MAKING BOOK ON JOCKS

Looking to bone up on curling, falconry or

sumo wrestling? Check out SportsBooks, a new

bookshop at 8761 Beverly Boulevard, West

w з а 90048 : Š

Hollywood, California 90048, which houses _ m < GO JUMP!

the world’s largest selection of sports books. > —

Mong with new hardcover and soficover titles With bur
jumping attracting

thrill seekers from Van-
couver to New Zealand.

cord

rare, out-

{-print and signed books are avail-

able, as well as unusual sports memorabilia

A catalog costs one dollar, and il you're more an to take a leap into the
armchair detective than а jock, there's always wild blue yonder. it
The Mysterious Bookshop next door 4 ЖІ == figures that a newsletter
7 on the subject isn't far
A ` behind. À vear's sub.

scription to Bungee
Cords, published by the
International Associat-
tion of Bungee Enthusi-
ам», costs $24 sent to
LA.B.E., c/o Nancy
Frase, 11593 North
Shore Drive, Suite 12C,
Reston, Virginia 22090.
Recent issues have cov-
ered the ups and downs
of jumping from а hot-
air balloon, with em-
phasis on a subject n
and dear to all bunge
jumpers' pounding
hearts—salety. Call 703
435-0800 if you have
any other questions.

YEAR 2000 НООТ, MON

Has the Aberlour Di
Scotland got a deal
dollar equi
tillery toda
cases) of Aberlour's ten-ye
malt Scotch will be del
ry. the price doesn't include taxes and

shipping.) Since the Decem-
ber 31, we suggest that you contact Lan

Mitchell at 212-725-9144 immediately.

lery Company of

Мег expir

HAIL CAESARS’ CHIP

To commemorate its 25th y 1 Las Ve-
gas, Caesars Palace is issuing 50,000 5:
anniversary chips through April 30, 1992.

MONTANA TERRITORY

Authentic Impressions Com-
pany has kicked off the foot-
ball season with a handsome
limited-edition lithograph of
Joe Montana. But what m:
this 24"x 30" litho so
ing is the three-dim
impression in the right-hand
comer of the cleat worn by
Montana while leading the
49ers to victory in Super Bowl
XXIV. Each print is num
bered and hand-signed by the
artist, Francis Livingston, and
by Montana. A litho can be
ordered for $200 by calling
Authentic Impressions at 500-
EMBOSS-1. Touchdown!

i Ev t

Бек е
EL?

A X

мој a

NAO

Вујоап Bannan

Although any anniversary chips in use or
in storage at Caesars will be destroyed aft-
er that date, chips in the possession of

s will be redeemable at

HONEY, 1 HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU

Based on interviews with more than 300 men, Joan Bannan's Per
fect Gifts Jor (Nearly) Perfect Men is a soficover look at “how t
choose gifts lor men according to personality temperament”—Mr,
Gregarious, Mr. Intense, Mr. Deep and Mr. Patient. There are also
chapters on "What Everybody Likes and Nobody Likes.” “Nearly
Perfect Colors for Gift: nd “Mr. Famous.” The last includes an
erview with David Faustino (Bud Bundy of Married with Chil-
dren). Price: $15.95, postpaid. To order, call 800-544-8174

be worth much more as a collector's item,
d mail a stack home—be-
fore you hit the tables, of course.

so stock up

BY THE NUMBERS

Want to know the phone
number of Atchafalaya Delta
Tourist Commission m Patter-
son, Low „or the North- سا‎
ern Rodeo Association in TRAVEL
Billings, Montana? Pick up a
copy of The USA Travel Phone
k-Help Guide 10
Addresses and Tele-

ation Travelers,”
Persson. More th;
1700 cities and 1600 attrac-
tions are featured and there's
even a list of area codes for
states and major cities. Tt just
may be the smartest 58.92
you'll spend all year.

МЕХТ МОМТН

PRICKLY CREWCUT

"CREWCUT"—A BITTER 16-YEAR-OLD CONFRONTS HER “RUDE BOYS"—MEET THE VICIOUS DRUG RUNNERS OF
WAYWARD MOTHER WITH SOME SHOCKING MOVES—BY THE JAMAICAN POSSES WHO CONTROL THE ACTION IN
COLLEGE FICTION CONTEST WINNER ELLEN UMANSKY MAJOR U.S. CITIES. FIRST IN OUR SERIES ON THE NEW
MOBSTERS WHO WILL MAKE YOU MISS THE RELATIVELY
PEACEFUL DAYS WHEN THE MAFIA RAN THE UNDER-

CAMILLE PAGLIA, CONTROVERSIAL AUTHOR OF SEXUAL WORLO—BY T. J. ENGLISH

PERSONAE, PAYS HOMAGE TO THE WORLD'S OLDEST

PROFESSION AND LIKENS HERSELF TO MADONNA AS

DOMINATRIX AND TO THE MAFIA AS AN ITALIAN IN A TAN- ROBERT MAXWELL, THE MEDIA MOGUL WHO'S BEING

TALIZING *20 QUESTIONS" HAILED AS THE SAVIOR OF NEW YORK'S FINANCIALLY
TROUBLED DAILY NEWS, TAKES АМ AT ARCHRIVAL
RUPERT MURDOCH AND DELIVERS THE GOODS ON

“ULTIMATE TV"—PLAYBOY HARVESTS THE STURDY GORBACHEV, MARGARET THATCHER AND ORGANIZED.

EVERGREENS (AND SOME NEWER SPROUTS) FROM THE LABOR IN A HEADLINE-MAKING PLAYBOY INTERVIEW

VAST WASTELAND IN 25 OVERLOOKED AND UNDERVAL-

LED TV EPISODES, INCLUDING THE BEST OF GROUCHO,

LUCY, STAR TREK AND TWIN PEAKS—BY NEIL TESSER PLUS: "PLAYBOY'S PIGSKIN PREVIEW,” OUR ANNUAL

FORECAST OF THE COLLEGE FOOTBALL SEASON, BY

GARY COLE; A REMINDER THAT CLASS IS DEFINITELY
“А BLOW FOR FREEDOM"—HE PACKS A GUN. WEARS BACK IN SESSION WITH PLAYBOY'S "GIRLS OF THE BIG
A BULLETPROOF VEST AND DEFINITELY TAKES NO TEN" PICTORIAL; "SURE AS SHOOTIN'": ON THE SCENE
CHANCES. THIS NEW YORKER WOULD RATHER BE WITH AUTOMATED CAMERAS; FALL'S BEST SPORTSWEAR,
JUDGED BY 12 OF HIS PEERS THAN BE CARRIED TO HIS BY HOLLIS WAYNE: LOTS OF CAR TALK; AND MUCH.
GRAVE BY SIX—FICTION BY LAWRENCE BLOCK MUCH MORE

Also available.
4n Box and
100$ Soft Pack.

SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Cigarette

Smoke Contains Carbon Monoxide. Box. 11 mg. “tar” 0.9 mg. nicotine: Kings ard 1005,
12 mg. “tar”, 0.9 mg-micatine-av. per cigarette by FTC method.

т
“

STOLAR RINGS.

Z ONE. TF

ШЕЕ RUSSIAN PHENOMENON

GIFT DELVERY 11800238.4373 40% ALC BY VOL DSTILLED FROM GRAIN. NONSIELR HENRI WINES: LTD. WHITE PLAINS NV.

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