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CLOSE YOUR EYES, remove both socks and repeat after us: “One 
day ГИ wake up and the presidential campaign will be over.” 
Feeling better? You bet. Now join us in a celebration of beau- 
ty and enlightenment. Consider this our modest monthly con- 
tribution ro the happiness of human beings—without whom, 
we'd like to point out, there'd be no call for socks or politics. 

The subject of our Playboy Interview is Sister Souljah, whose 
reported comments about the L.A. riots lit a fire under Bill 
Clinton. But Souljah is much more than last week's headliner. 
She’s a young political activist whose fierce but eloquent views 
оп race, feminism, violence and class are must reading for 
anyone who cares about the state of this country. Robert Scheer 
posed the tough questions. 

Remember when politics was fun? Neither do we, but how 
fondly we recall Hunter S. Thompson, the man who never met a 
pol he didn't lampoon. In The Unmaking of the President 1992, 
El Gonzo himself, in collusion with Craig Vetter, takes potshots 
at candidates past and present. He also—speaking of pot- 
shots—did his own artwork. No inhaling, please. 

Moving from one cultural icon to another, we visit Billy Crys- 
tal, а rare carthling born with comic genius and an arsenal of 
gifts—the latest, a talent for directing. In Right Where Нез Sup- 
posed to Be, Contributing Editor Joe Morgenstern provides a 
backstage peck at the Oscars, with Crystal running a 103-de- 
grec fever and “Ironman” Jack Palonce doing push-ups. The il- 
lustration's by David Levine. 

On to vampires. From а book to be published by Knopf, The 
Tale of the Body Thief, by Anne Rice, is a chilling story about a 
bloodsucker in a romantic mood in Miami, pining for plasma 
in all the wrong places. Ме! Odom did the artwork. Is there a 
movie in The Greyhound, written by our College Fiction Соп- 
test winner? You be the judge as author Daniel Lyons sets out a 
cunning wheeze that backfires un its Пепо сі ves. 

Fiction can get confused with fact when it comes to sexual 
abuse, as we learn in Cry Incest, by Pacific News Service writer 
Debbie Nathan, winner ofa Hugh M. Hefner First Amendment 
Award. Nathan joined an incest survivors’ group and discov- 
ered why, despite the horror of the real thing, there is now a 
False Memory Syndrome Foundation for those who feel un- 
justly accused. The illustration is by David Wilcox. Quite justly 
accused is antisex law prof Catharine MacKinnon, the target 
of Camille Paglia’s guest opinion in Mantrack. 

This month's 20 Questions finds Tim Robbins on the гес g 
end. Robbins, fresh from his reptilian triumph in The Player 
and his directorial debut in Bob Roberts (reviewed in this issue), 
converses with Contributing Editor Warren Kalbacker. 

The mention of receiving brings us to Playboy's Pigskin 
Preview, with our preeminent prognosticator Gary Cole calling 
"em as he sees "ет in the pre-season lineups. Add to that the 
delights of the young ladies who grace Girls of the Big East 
(captured on film by the two Contributing Photographer 
Davids, Chan and Mecey) and garnish with a bare touch of 
comic beauty Felicia Michaels in Funny Girl, photographed by 
Stephen Wayda. See what we mean when we talk of celebration? 

Further proof comes from 19-year-old Playmate Tiffany 
Sloan, who can see Las Vegas from the cockpit of the boat in 
her backyard. Miss October, turns out, is just full of surprises. 
And there's more: David Elrich brings you up to date and be- 
yond on TVs of the future in Star Sets: The Next Generation; 
Playboy on the Scene has a parade of digital compact cassette 
players. In a special report, Back to Campus, Fashion Director 
Hollis Wayne presents drop-dead duds for dudes (photos by 
George C. Whipple Ш). Which brings us to a final question: Is 
this a magazine, or is this a magazine? 


THOMPSON 


LEVINE 


WHIPPLE 


PAGLIA 


Playboy (ISSN 0032-1478), October 1992, volume 39, number 10. Published monthly by Playboy in national and regional editions, Playboy, 
680 North Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, Illinois 60611. Second-class postage paid at Chicago, Illinois, and at additional mailing offices. 


Subscription 


in the U.S., $29.97 for 12 issues. Postmaster: Send address change to Playboy, PO. Box 2007, Harlan, lowa 51537-4007. 


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PLAYBOY. 


vol. 39, no. 10—осюБег 1992 CONTENTS FOR THE MEN’S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE 
PLAYBHL .... oe ve 5 
DEAR PLAYBOY 11 
PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS 15 
MANTRACK Ах 33 
THE RETURN OF CARRY NATION CAMILLE PAGLIA 36 
MEN ASA BABER 40 
WOMEN CYNTHIA HEIMEL — 41 
THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR 43 
THE PLAYBOY FORUM 49 
PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: SISTER SOULJAH—condid conversation 59 
THE TALE OF THE BODY THIEF—fictian ANNE RICE 74 
FUNNY GIRL—pictorial 78 Vampire Chronicles 
CRY INCEST—article ..... A DEBBIE NATHAN 84 
BACK TO CAMPUS—fashion р HOLLIS WAYNE 89 


RIGHT WHERE HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE—playboy profile ... JOE MORGENSTERN 100 


TIFFANY'S A GEM—playbay's playmate of the month 102 

PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES—humor А Н 114 

STAR SETS: THE NEXT GENERATION—modern living 2000. DAVID ELRICH 116 Tempting Tiffany 
PLAYBOY'S PIGSKIN PREVIEW—sports T GARYCOLE 119 

THE UNMAKING OF THE PRESIDENT 1992—orticle CRAIG VETTER 124 

THE GREYHOUND—fiction DANIEL LYONS 126 

GIRLS OF THE BIG EAST—pictorial 130 

20 QUESTIONS: TIM ROBBINS 140 

PLAYBOY ON THE SCENE 177 Cool Fashion 
COVER STORY 


February 1991 Ploymote Cristy Thom gives three cheers for the Girls of the Big 
East. Our caver was produced by Senior Photo Editor Michoel Ann Sullivon, styled 
by Lee Ann Perry and shot by Contributing Photographer Richard Fegley. (Hoir 
styled by John Victor, make-up by Pot Tomlinson.) Cristy’s boots ore from Alcalo's 
(Chicago), her bra from Ronsard for M. A. Rabinowitz (New York) and shirt from 
Urbon American Club (Chicago). This month our Rabbit's с little shortsighted. 


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PLAYBOY 


HUGH М. HEFNER 
editor-in-chief 
ARTHUR ККЕТСНМЕК (Шола! director 
„ЮМАТНАМ BLACK managing editor 
ТОМ STAEBLER art director 
GARY COLE photography director 
KEVIN BUCKLEY executive editor 


EDITORIAL 

ARTICLES: JONN KEZER editor; PETER MOORE 
senior editor; FICTIO! ICE к. TURNER edilor; 
FORUM: JAMES к. PETERSEN senior staff writer: 
MATTHEW CHILDS assistant editor; MODERN LIV- 
ING: DAVID STEVENS senior edilor; ED WALKER 4550- 
ciate editor; вети TONKIW assistant editor; WEST 
COAST: STEPHEN RANDALL editor; STAFF: GRET 
CHEN EDGHEN senior editor: BRUCE KLUGEN, BAR- 
BARA NELLIS associate editors; CHRISTOPHER 
NAPOLITANO assistant editor; JONN ашқ пас 
coordinator; FASHION: HOLAS WAYNE director; 
VIVIAN cotov assisiant editor, CARTOONS: мі 
CHELLE URRY editor; COPY: LEOPOLD FROEHLICH 
editor; ARIAN BUSHMAN assistant editor; MARY ZION 
senior researcher; LEE BRAUER. CAROLYN BROWNE. 
JACKIE CAREY, REMA SMITH researchers; CONTRIB- 
UTING EDITORS: ASA BAKER, DENIS BOYLES, KEV 
IN COOK. LAURENCE GONZALES, LAWRENCE GROBEL 
REN GROSS iaudomotizes CYN THIA мими. WILLIAN 
J. HELMER. WARREN KALBACKER, WALTER LOWE, Jk 
D. KEITH. MANO, JOE MORGENSTERN. REG POTTER. 
TON, DAVID RENSIN. RICHARD RHODES, DAVID SHEFF, 
DAVID STANDISH. 
WILLIAMSON movies) 


MORGAN STRONG, BRUCE 


ART 
кене rori managing director; BRUCE HANSEN. 
CHEI SUSKL LEN WILLIS senior directors; KRISTIN 
KORJENER associate director; KELLY овкисм assis- 
tant director; Ass sim. supervisor, heyline/ 
раме-ир: YUL CHAR, ГОМУ HOCH, RICKIE THOMAS 
ан assistants 


PHOTOGRAPHY 

MARILYN GRABOWSK west coast editor; JEFF COMES 
managing editor; LINDA KENNEY. ИМ LARSON 
MICHAEL ANN SULLIVAN senior editors; PATTY BEAL 

DEL assistant editor/entertainment; STEVE CONWAY 
associate photographer; DAVID CHAN. RICHARD FRG 
LEV. ARNY FREVTAG, RICHARD БА. DAVID MECEN 
BYRON NEWMAN. POMPEO POSAR, STEPHEN WAYDA 
contributing photographers; suete weas stylist; 
TIM HAWKINS librarian: ROBERT CAIRNS manager 
studio/lab; vorne riores business manager, 
studio west 


MICHAEL PERLIS publisher 


JAMES SPANFELLER associate publisher 
PRODUCTION 
MARIA MANDIS director; RIYA JONNSON manager: 
JODY JURGETO, RICHARD QUARTAROLI CARRIE LARUE 
HOCKNEY, TOM SIMONEK associate managers 


CIRCULATION 
BARBARA GUTMAN subscription circulation director; 
JOAN MCINERNEY neussland sales director; cvs oy 
KaKowt1z communications director 


ADVERTISING 
PAUL TURCOTTE national sales director: saves 
DIRECTORS: WILLIAM М. MILTON. №. northwest, 
ROBERT MCLEAN west Coast, STEVE MEISNER mid- 
e, JAV BECKLEY: SEAN FLANAGAN mew york 


| READER SERVICE 
LINDA STROM, MIKE OSTROWSKI correspondents 


ADMINISTRATIVE 
кин: simorsimr computer graphics systems direc 
lor; rtv KENT edilonal services manager: MAR 
CU TERRONES rights с permissions administrator 


PLAYBOY ENTERPRISES, INC. 
сишкие немец chairman, chief executive officer 


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DEAR PLAYBOY 


ADDRESS DEAR PLAYBOY 
PLAYBOY MAGAZINE 
680 NORTH LAKE SHORE DRIVE 
CHICAGO. ILLINDIS 60611 
OR FAX 312-440-5454 


MICHAEL KEATON INTERVIEW 

As a teacher, I appreciate PLAYBOY'S 
ongoing struggle against censorship. 
However, I was saddened to find 
Michael Keaton (Playboy Interview, July) 
parroting the glib sentiments toward 
teaching and teachers espoused by those 
who blame others for their own inability 
to utilize education 

I write to you from a state in which 
teachers are considered slightly lower 
than Saddam Hussein—and I'm sick of 


an S; 
this attitude. 1 ask Keaton: 
reat ‘ап you write? If so, how about 
sending your former teachers a percent 
age of the salary you earn from the job 
you have as thanks for being taught 
these skills? Donning a rubber suit and 
pretending to be a cartoon character 
docsn't allow you to pass judgment on a 
profession that touches thousands of 
lives with integrity, compassion and pa 
tience. Just because you make more ре 
hour than teachers do in а year does 
make you a valuable contributor to soci- 
cty. Long after you're gone, the ability to 
read and write and think will be a more 
lasting legacy than pretending to kill a 
joker and a penguin 
Walter Fre 
Mechanicsburg, Ре 


Can you 


ot 


sylvanı 


Asa future high school teacher, 1 take 
offense at Michael Keaton's етеп! 
that "most of the teachers across the 
country are in it because they can't do 
anything else.” Not only is this sweeping 
generalization unwarranted, 

untrue. It is sad th: 
realize that teaching is uous and 
thankless job that calls for caring, under- 
standing, patience and, yes, intelligence 
I think most teachers across the country 
re in the profession because they don't 
want to do anything else 


в also 
most people don't 
пан 


The writer of the introduction to the 
interview with Michael Ke 


эп seems to 


have acquired his knowledge of Bauman 
from the campy version. He writes: 
“Keaton chose to portray Batman . . . as 
a brooding | eccentric in need of psy- 
chotherapy.” Batman, as originated in 
the comice strip, is exactly such a schizoid 
personality 
1 applaud Tim Burton and Keaton for 
ging the dark knight to life instead 
aking the easy route with a silly com- 
edy in the vein of the TV show. 
Steven D. Brown 
Kingston, New York 


MADONNA'S BLOND EXHIBITION 
At41, I'm in an age group that proba- 
bly doesn't relate to Madonna's music, 
but the lovely pictorial of her (Blond 
Exhibition, vLaywov, July) reveals a wom 
poise and hon 


an whose natural beauty, 
esty transcend generational difference 
Is it exhibition? 1 believe not; she simply 
has a body of which she is deservedly 
proud. Lers have more of this gorgeous 
gal with the most natural sex appeal 
ever se 


min Soto 
Лапа, California 


Madonna has all the sex appeal of an 
flatable doll. 


Timm Marble 
San Dimas, California 


Shouldn't the Madonna pictorial have 
been titled Truth or Bare 
Walter Howe 


El Toro, California 


1 find it ironic that in 1969, rock star 
Jim Morrison was arrested, tried and 
convicied of flashing his penis during a 
Doors concert in Miami, which led to the 
ion of the rest of the Doors’ 
and caused (directly or indirectly) Jim's 
exile to Paris, where he died shortly 
thereafter. And now. more t 
Later, rock star Madonna pa 
around nude on a Miami beach and not 
only gets away with it but will probably 


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PLAYBOY 


12 


make another couple of million bucks 
from it. Is this justice? 


Pomona, Californ 


SCHEER ON BUCHANAN 

Robert Scheer, in his Reporters Nole- 
book “Why 1 Can't Stand Pat" (PLAYBOY, 
July), asks why Pat Buchanan, if he is not 
an anti-Semite, would "spend time try- 
ing to prove that the diesel fuel used by 
the Nazis at Treblinka would not have 
produced fumes toxic enough to kill the 
hundreds of thousands who died there?" 

Well, that was not what Buchanan was 
ng to prove but, rather, that the case 


against a quite probably innocent man 


(John Demjanjuk) was so shoddy tha 
the overzealous prosecutors couldnt 
even get their math straight. 
Daniel John Sobieski 
Chicago, Illinois 


Robert Scheer makes the usual mis- 
takes of those who compare Pat Buchan- 
n with David Duke. It is true that Bu- 
chanan is an isolationist, though he 
doesn't like the label. (Non-intervention- 
ist is a better term.) As such, he enter- 
tains the idea that maybe, just maybe, 
the United States could pull out of the 
ited Nations, the International Mon- 
etary Fund and the World Bank. Bu- 
chanan even talks about withdrawing 
USS. troops from all over the world. 

This doesn't sound like someone wi 
conquest on his mind. And yet his critics 
bly raise the Nazi specter, as does 
Scheer in his inane dosing paragraph. 
Someone should tell Scheer that Adolf 
Hitler was not an isolationist. 

Brad Linaweaver 
Los Angeles, California 


THE JIG IS UP 
After reading the July rravsov Women 
column, "The Jig IS Up,” 1 had to ask 
Where has Cynthia Heimel 
She says Susan Faludi's Backlash 
“received little media attention.” I guess 
the cover of Time magazine is where we 
hide all the uppity authors these days 
Not to mention the book’s coverage in 
other nes and newspapers, on 
and national TV. Not bad for 
a book that is long on facts, figu 
and studies but even longer on personal 
supposition, conjecture and downright 
shaky conclusions, accompanied by all 
the bells and wh 
rect pinball machi 
I'm по Reagan/Bush/Falwell fan. I'm 
in favor of everything Heimel might 
consider feminist-correct. 1 just can 
take any book seriously that begins w 
the assump: i 


ge 


David Paulson 
Baltimore, Maryland 


MED-ALERT! 
Although | generally avoid health- 
care practitioners like the plague, I'm 


glad 1 didn't miss the 17 lovely ladies in 
your Med-Alert! pictorial (pLavnoy, July) 
Going to the doctor would be ever so en- 
Joyable if there were women like these in 
the office. 

Mike Novick 

Staten Island, New York 


Thank you for the beautiful picture of 
my employee Amy Green. Women in the 
med ical field work extremely hard and 
ice Lo see them appre ated. 
James K. Mason, M.D. 
Ventura, California 


PAMELA ANDERSON 
Thank you for the beautiful pictorial 
of the stunning, sexy, sophisticated 


Pamela Anderson (Getting Kicks on Route 
66, ғілувот, July). Home Improvement Һа: 
been a favorite television show of mine 
ever since Pamela made her debut. 
Rick Tarbox 
Dunedin, Flo: 


а 


1 was truly impressed by Pamela An- 
derson’s pictorial, probably one of your 
best ever. It exhibits raw sexuality and is 
at the same time tasteful and artistic 
Shannon Alvis 
Canyon Country, California 


ALEX HALEY ON MALCOLM X 

Thank you for what I assume is the 
late Alex Haley's final article, his memo- 
ries of the controversial Malcolm X (Mal- 
colm X Remembered, PLavuoy, July). Re- 
gardless of what one might think of 
Malcolm X, the article is a reminder of 
what a great American journalist we've 
lost with Haley's death. His description 
ing to Malcolm harangue him 
with Black Muslim dogma for days on 
end before Malcolm finally began to talk 


about his childhood is a perfect example 
of the extraordinary perseverance and 
patience Haley possessed, without which 
he never could have persisted through 
the 12 long years it took him to research 
and write Roots. 


Sheldon Ashly 
Chicago, Illinois 


Thank you for Alex Haley's article on 
Malcolm X. As а white man, I have al- 
ways been curious about Malcolm. He 
was a pretty angry man and I'm glad his 
trip to Месса changed his mind about 
whites, even if only a little, You can't 
fight hatred with more hatred. The Los 
Angeles riots proved that. 

Rich Ivy 


WHAT PRICE VALUES? 

In July's Dear Playboy, H. MeNicholas 
is so eager to wash Patrick Buchanan 
and Judeo-Christian values that he fails 
to apply his own logic to the situation. 
He states that Asian students who hold 
-Confucian values do very well 
ically, which is true. However, 
when he says that they do poorly when 
they adopt traditional American values, 
he is wrong. They do poorly when they 
adopt contemporary American values, 
which are neither traditional nor Judeo- 
Christian 

Israeli and European students out- 
scored their American counterparts by a 
considerable margin, and it isn't because 
they have suddenly adopted Buddhist- 
Confucian values. Students anywhere 
who hold to any one of the major val- 
ue systems, be it Buddhist-Confucian, 
Judeo-Christian, Islamic, Shinto or any 
other that stresses progress, achieve- 
ment and contributing to the family and 
society, will do well academically as а 
group. MeNicholas shouldn't 
Judeo-Christian values for the 


poor 
showing of American students. Rather, 


he should blame the d 
values. 


arding of those 


Marun E. Clasby 
Pittsford, New York 


SOLDIER GIRL 
I was stationed іп Baumholden, 
many, for three years. It was a hick town, 
only 30 minutes from Bad Kreuznach, 
where Miss July, Army specialist Amanda 
Hope (Soldier Girl, PLAYBOY, July), was 
stationed. For three ycars I traveled all 
over Europe and saw many beautiful 
sights, but while 1 was going to France, 
Spain, Belgium and other countries, the 
most beauuf 'anda—was on- 
ly a few mil 
Where do I reenlist? 
Ron Sommers 
Beaverton, Oregon 


El 


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P 


PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS 


THE LIKELY CANDIDATE 


Ata Democratic political rally in Geor- 
gía, a pregnant woman was seen waving 
a huge sign declaring, CLINTON 15 THE 
омы Were told Bill Clinton made his 
way into the crowd and politely asked 
her to hand the sign to someone else. 


GEORGE HERBERT 
SLEEPWALKER BUSH 


Since his gut-wrenching performance 
in Tokyo—caused, were told, by the 
sleeping pill Halcion—weve worried 
about the impact of the drug on the 
President. In fact E 
Halcion's negative side eflecis, as de- 
fined by the Physicians’ Desk Reference, in 
these Bush quotes, collected by editors 
of the New Republic in Bushisms 

Light-headedness: “I am all for Law 
rence Welk. Lawrence Welk is a wonder- 
fal man 
wherever he is now, bless him.” 


we see evidence of 


He used to be, or was, ог 


Agitation (те 
es): "What I'd say to the American peo- 
ple is: Please ask for a name to be placed 
next to the source so | can get mad at the 
guy who's doing this. It’s strange ош 


arding unnamed sourc- 


there. It's stran; 


Cognitive impairment: “My position 
has not changed. Lam, uh, pro, pro, uh, 
pro-life.” 

Bizarre or abnormal behavior (imper 
sonating Patti LuPone): “You cannot be 
President of the United States if you 
don't have faith. ... You can't be. And we 
are blessed. So don't feel sorry for— 
don't cry for me, Argentina.” 


Hey, yeah, yeah. 


ley, hey, nihaoma 
Heil, heil” (gives a kind of Hitler salute)— 
greeting people on his return from 
church. (Nihaoma is Cantonese for “How 
are you?") 

Drowsiness: "Because Гт a little bit 
tired — well, ГИ give you an example, ГИ 
give you an example. This state of Ten- 


nessee had hundred re 
servists and g one 
community of a thousand had eighteen 
people—this is the Volunteer State. Peo 
ple are still very proud of the fact of 
this—of Desert Storm.” 


sixty-seven, 
ardsmen volunteer 


Amnesi; don't want to just sit here 
blaming Congress. | mean, we're all in 
this together" ага news conference. "I 
think the Congress should be blamed"— 
same day, minutes later. 

Hallucinations: *Blame the Congress, 
because we've got the best health-care 
plan there is 

Euphoria 
times.” 


“We're enjoying sluggish 


THE FIVE O'CLOCK APPOINTMENT 


Here's a new way to keep tabs on your 
liquid assets: Barneys, the trendy cloth- 
ing and accessories store, is offering a 
pewter-and-leather Filo-Flask for $58.50, 
complete with a six-holed attachment 
that will allow it to dock with the stan- 
dard-size Filofax 
. 

Commuting by bicycle just became а 
little easier for the suit set. The Backrid- 
er bag from Enrge Sports is a combina- 
tion garment bag and backpack. When 
it's opened, you can hang a suit or dress 
in it, with room to spare for shoes, socks 
and toiletries. You fold it in thirds, adjust 
the padded shoulder straps and pedal 


ILLUSTRATION BY PATER ЗАТО 


off to work. It comes in two models and 
can be ordered by calling 800-245-0099. 


HALVED MOONS 


Lady Sarah Graham-Moon is divorc- 
ing her husband, Sir Peter, after 25 years 
of marriage. The proceedings seemed to 
be going well until she went on a ram- 
page: She poured paint over his BMW, 
trimmed four inches from the left 
sleeves of 32 of his favorite suits and dis- 
tributed 70 prized botiles of wine from 
his cellar to the villagers of East Gaston 
Sir Peter has filed no complaint. Appar- 
ently, it was when he moved in with a 
woman near their home that things 
turned sour. 


ELIZABETHAN LOVE NOTES, VOL. XI 


А rose would smell as sweet, and per- 
haps a bit sweeter: А new book, Anatomy 
of Lowe, by Helen Fisher, tells us that in 
Shakespeare's time it was customary for 
a woman to peel an apple and hold it un- 
der her arm until it was saturated. with 
her essence. She'd then give the present 
to her lover to inhale at his leisure. 
. 

The Crimson Bonehead Award goes 
to the Harvard study published in the 
Journal of the American Medical Association 
that concluded hard-drinking college 
men still outnumber women, but both 
sexes increasingly drink to get drunk 


GETTING IN HER LICKS 


The Reagan-Bush era's unfortunate 
contribution to First Amendment free- 
doms is that we can tell gay-bashing 
jokes, even on TY, with impunity. Lisa 
Kron, a new gay humorist, is delightedly 
bashing back—and we suspect we may 
have heard our last gerbil joke. 

Kron is a performance artist who de- 
scribes herself as “a lesbian Garrison 
Keillor.” We spotted her in our favorite 
live production, Milly's Orchid Show, at 
Chicago's Park West. Looking like a 
plump, bubble-coiffed maiden aunt, 
Kron opened with an ad jingle for а rev- 
olutionary new toy, Lesbian Barbie. She 
followed with concepts for TV shows she 


15 


RAW DATA 


SIGNIFICA, INSIGNIFICA, |_SIGNIFICA, INSIGNIFICA, STATS AND FACTS | AND FACTS 


FACT OF THE 
MONTH 

According to Facts 
and Phalluses, by 
Alexandra Parsons, 
а prion study re- 
vealed that casurated 
men live an average 
of 13 years longer 

than intact cons. 


QUOTE 

“When I talk with 
the older crowds, 
I'm Bobby's son 
or Johns nephew. 
When I talk to 
younger ones, I'm 
Arnold Schwarzenegger's cousin. 
— ROBERT Е KENNEDY, JR. 


MIXED-UP SIGNALS 

In a study of undergraduates at 
Bucknell University, percentage of 
men who said they had misunder- 
stood a woman's friendship as a sign 
of sexual interest, 71; percentage of 
women who made this mistake with a 
man, 48. 

. 

Percentage of men who felt а wom- 
an had intentionally misled them into 
believing she was sexually attracted to 
them, 58; percentage of women who 
had felt this about a man, 17. 

. 


Percentage of men who said they 
had intentionally misled a woman, 
17; percentage of women who plead- 
ed guilty to leading a man on, 28. 


HI, NEIGHBOR! 
survey of 505 men by Bruskin/ 
g Research, number who s 
they've borrowed tools from a neigh- 
bor, 176; number who borrowed sug- 
ar, 35; a newspaper, 18; money, 15; а 
lawnmower, eight. 


WHAT'S COOKING? 

Percentage of the total food budget 
spent per year by singles under the 
age of 45 at restaurants and take-out 
joints, 46. 

. 

Percentage of people who said eat- 

ing out was fun, 72; a hassle, 23. 


EXCHANGE RATE 

Percentage of the 
71,000 U.S. students 
who studied abroad 
during the 1989-90 
academic year who 
were men, 35. 


DRAT! 
. According to Curs- 
in America, by Dr. 
‘Timothy Jay, per- 
centage of swearing 
in public featuring 
the words fuck and 
shit: almost 50. 
. 

According to Dr. 
Jay, percentage of adult leisure con- 
versations made up of profanity, 13; 
percentage of college-student leisure 
conversations composed of swear 
words, eight; percentage of profanity 
in on-the-job conversation by adults, 
three. 


. 

А college survey found the univer- 
sity employee most likely to curse was 
an athletic coach; the person least 
likely to curse, a librarian. 


THE SUM OF THE PARTS 

At a recent auction at Sotheby's, 
price fetched for a piece of a guitar 
smashed by Jimi Hendrix at a music 
festival in Monterey, $8800. Price of 
the harmonica played by Bob Dylan 
during the summer of 1961, $3575. 

е 


At another Sotheby's sale, cost of 
rare golf club (manufactured between 
1680 and 1720) found in a garden 
shed after being used as a child’s toy: 
$178,300. 

. 

Price paid at Christie’ 
house for Marilyn Monroe's black 
beaded cocktail dress from Some Like 
lt Hol, $38,500; amount of the win- 
ning bid for a red-and-black nylon 
engineering tunic from the original 
Star Trek TV show, $1650. Price for 
actor Billy Mumy's Lost in Space cos- 
tume, circa 1967, $3300; for a pair of 
Killer Bee antennae from Saturday 
Night Live, $605. 


— BETTY SCHAAL 


knows shell never see, such as Мел 
Cant Live with Them, So We Don't. She 
camped through show tunes, twisted 
several greeting-card messages and ad- 
mitted to her mixed crowd that Cosmo is 
for “the lesbian who wants to know what 
goes on in the mind of th 
an she's unfor 


STRAIGHT OR ON THE ROCKS? 


Almost as if the Encinitas Coast Dispatch 
anticipated a light turnout, an article in 
the weekly describing a public forum on 
г shortage lured thirsty readers Бу 
reporting that “come will be served by 
the lagoon at 8:45 am." We assume that 
people can also jerk themselves a soda 

. 

Grafito under hot-air hand driers 
in a Washington airport men's room, 
sighted by Representative Bill Archer of 
Houston: PUSH THIS BUTTON FOR A MESSAGE 
FROM YOUR CONGRESSMAN. 


. 
‘The Japanese are co-opting another 
bit of Апи the Ed Sullivan Show 


Curiously, 


apanese network thats 
sic reruns is editing out the 
star of the really big show. Sullivan will 
be replaced by a Japanese host 


AMTRAK STRIKES AGAIN! 


Benjamin Barad of Palm Beach, Flori- 
da, is suing Amtrak over a malfunction- 
ing toilet. He alleges that the pressurizi 
commode backfired and left him hor 
bly soiled. He remained unwashed for 
12 hours because the train had no run- 
ning water. Barad retired recently alter 
teaching hygiene for 45 years 


FIELD RESEARCH 


Michael T. Petrik, a professor of crimi 
nal justice ar Nassau County Community 
College who conducts a course in alte 
natives to prison, has confessed to help- 
ing two felons escape from the Mid-Or- 
Correctional Facility in Warwick, 
ew York 


EVERYTHING'S BIG IN TEXAS 


The Austin American-Statesman record- 
ed anew stat under the heading THE вис 
GEST WINNERS i с on the football 


sa 


атай. “The Cowboys,” noted the Texas 
newspaper, “had more prime pricks 
than any other team.” Thats all the 


more impressive now that Гот Landry 
is no longer with the team 


DEATH BY DEFINITION 


This month's Euphemism Award goes 
to George Voinovich, Republican gover- 
nor of Ohio, who described the attrition 
rate of elderly citizens in a sell-sullicien- 
сүр “natural disenvollment.” 
Right—they died. Politicians will do any- 
ning death or ta 


NELSON GEORGE 


ROMANCE 15 an underappreciated aspect 
of jazz. Sure, chord progre: 
rhythms and harmonic inves 
should be celebrated. But there is also a 
warm sensuality to jazz, often down- 
played by real fans because pop jazz such 
as Kenny СЪ has diluted its romantic 
quality through lazy, formulaic music. 
The ше Miles Davis was a master of 
mood music that was still artistically am- 
bitious. The remastered The Complete 
Concert 1964: My Funny Valentine + Four & 
More (Columbia), which combines two 
previously issued albums on one CD, is 
a fine vehicle for Davis unfettered, 
unadulterated sex appeal. Backed by a 
stellar supporting cast (pianist Herbie 
Hancock, bassist Ron Carter, drummer 
Tony Williams and tenor saxopho 
George Coleman), Miles navigates hi 
basic set of that period. On standards 
such as My Funny Valentine and classic 
Davis originals such as All Blues and So 
What, there's a sly humor, calculated in- 
sinuation and debonair charm in his 
trumpet’s tone and phrasing that be- 
speaks an understanding of seduction. 


Fast CUTS: EPMD's Business Never Per- 
sonal (Def Jam/Columbia) has this rap 
duo's best choruses ever, refiecting a 
growing understanding of song struc- 
ture. Although the boys ridicule sellout 
rappers on Crossover, songs such as Play 
the Next Man and Head Banger are radio- 
ready without compromising their un- 
derground cachet. 

Eric B. & Rakim break no new ground 
with Don’t Sweat the Technique (MCA); they 
Just perfect what they've done so well 
since 1987—minimalist rap built around 
Rakim's cynical poetry. Casualties of War, 
about a Harlem kid's experiences d 
ing Desert Storm, ranks with this team's 
best work. 


CHARLES M. YOUNG 


As leader of Georgia Satellites, Dan 
Boird was one of the most prominent 
practitioners of roots rock, a genre that 
drew greater than average resentment 
from the musicians pigeonholed therein 
Baird made it work by the sheer force of 
his exuberance, and now he's back with 
an eponymously titled solo album (Def 
American), still making it work by the 
sheer force of his exuberance, The ele- 
ments remain the same ee chords, 
rs without whammy bars, big am- 
rs, no special effects and lyrics that. 
either tell humorous stories or declare 
male sexual prowess. Hey, if Chuck 


More trom the master of mood music. 


Punk girls, sexy 
Miles, roots 
tock and XTC. 


y had it right the first time, why 
change? So let's drop this “roots” crap 
and call it what it is: neo-Chuck, by way 
of Humble Pie and AC/DC. If labelmates 
the Black Crowes can be a big deal, so 
can Dan. 


FAST CUTS: Paint the White House Black 
(Triple X), by the Dick Nixons: In this 
dreariest election year, it's important to 
remember that every election year has 
sucked the mop. The Dick Nixons heap 
abuse on one of history's prime shit- 
heads with а stripped-down, Ramones- 
style attack. Best song title: Red Red 
Whine 

Chops Not Chaps (Blind Pig), by Roy 

: I've always loved the sensuous, 
-bending energy of virtuoso slide 
guitar. Rogers, a blues purist, ranks 
among the best. This is a welcome CD 
reissue of his 1985 debut album. 

Crooked Line (Rykodisc), by Nils Lof- 
gren: Legendary sideman again steps 
forward as frontman with wide-ranging 
guitar-bash that works quiet (Blue Skies), 
loud (Justa Little) and demented (Drunk- 
en Driver). Just the album Nils fans knew 
was in him, 


ROBERT CHRISTGAU 


L7 are four snotty young women from 
L.A. who have graduated to a major la- 
bel after two thrash longlorms and а 


bunch of compilation cameos. The 
Roches are three jokey over-35 sisters 
from New York who made two fine folk 
albums in the Seventies and have been 
going pop ever since. L7's Bricks Are 
Heavy (Slash) and the Roches’ A Dove 
(MCA) may seem wildly dissimilar be- 
yond a certain air of female indepen- 
dence. Although neither will sell as well 
as it deserves to, both are object lessons 
п how to advance your music by meet- 
ing the market halfway. 

The means to L7's end is Butch Vig, 
the producer who taught Nirvana to go 
for it. Once again, his mission is to smelt 
speed-sludge into a grunge-metal alloy, 
which in L7's case involves intense mix- 
tures of ditty and power chord. Bricks Are 
Heavy never quite gathers Nirvana's mo- 
mentum, but it’s just as catchy and a 
touch nastier. Read-my-title outbursts 
like Wargasm, Diet Pill and Shitlist fulfill 
the ancient prophecy of a time when 

“gurls” would reinvent punk out of 
sheer delight in their own power. 

A Dove takes the Roches into a whole- 
hearted synth-and-guitar folk-pop as 
unearthly and unmistakable as their har- 
mot and sheds the wacky whimsy that 
has always been both their strength and 
their escape. Instead, their humor shows 
up in songwriting that’s almost invari- 
ably serious but with an edge. Will they 
marry you? Only if You're the One, which 
ain't likely. 


FAST CUTS: Yo Yo, = Бесті е Ea 


girl has More to e than you deserve. 


VIC GARBARINI 
XTC is my favorite English gloom 
band. That may not be saying much, 1 


know, but at least these Swindon lads 
aren't infatuated with their own emo- 
tions, as is the Cure. Life may be bitter- 
sweet, but on Nonsuch (Сейеп) there's as 
much hope as hurt. 

Nonsuch could be the next ge 
tion's White Album, complete with chim- 
ing guitars and baroque pop melodies, 
though ХТС sometimes lathers On the 
creamy harmonies a bit thick. But if the 
Beatles were still around, I hope they'd 
be wr songs with the wit and 
poignancy of The Ballad of Peter Pumphin- 
head, The Smartest. Monkeys and С LANE 
and with the naked, pi 
Rook. Let's hope that if ^ 
ing music years from now, it doesn't 
churn out a concei Ш like George 
Harrisor's Live in Japan (Dark Horse/ 


im P ROE TILIB 
| 
| 


ie Funbouse””, Jobn. Barth. 


LATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT: | 

Doing tbe only thing sbe could do 1 р 
with a Van foundin / \ d 

N Milwaukee. Selly it jur 

| / 


EN WHXIDO WHAT IDO: 
sem, "Ever since I can remember, I've had p» 
N эб favorite places in a bous 
attic and tbe + 
Ге 
= QUOTE: 
A ити comet 


- PROFILE; 
ET ic, persuasive, and committed 
ling most anything that comes 
her'vay. The kind of person who 
would, and did, auction off the 
remains of Comiskey Park. 


ner). Press reports indicate that a re- 
luctant Harrison was nudged by a kindly 
Clapton to embark on his first tour in al- 
) years, Do tunes like Тахшап have 
any resonance for our times? Yeah, but 
you couldn't prove it by the dry, blood- 
less versions here. If you want fresh Har- 
rison, the existential Beatle sounds revi- 
talized amid the creativity of his new 
mates, the Traveling Wilburys 


FAST CUTS: Blue Rodeo, Lost Together 
(Adantic): Now that country is sideswip- 
ing rock, turnabout is far play. These 
Band/Flying Burrito descendants are 
the best of their breed. 


DAVE MARSH 


Doc Lewrence (Chameleon) is the debut 
of a striking new voice, equal parts Mick 
Jagger and Van Morrison, with frequent 
allusions to Tom Waits and Bruce 
Springsteen along the way. In short, 
is a prototypical singer/song- 
writer, and he comes at it from the 
streetwise end of the spectrum. What 
makes his best songs (I've Cried Myself lo 
Sleep, Do the Right Thing, Where Did the 
Sound Go?) compelling are not their 
rhymes and wordplay so much as their 
scenarios and the way he uses his voice 
and spare instrumentation to dramatize 
them. 

[his isn'ta great record, but it's a real- 
ly good one, bursting with promise 
Trouble is, these days, who cares about 
such songs and songwriters anymore? 
Do the Right Thing might be the best take 
on the Rolling Stones doing Slim Harpo 
I've heard since David Johansen became 
Buster Poindexter—but to today’s audi- 
ence, that only suggests an archaic beat. 

What's true for Doc Lawrence is true 
for every similar artist, from Jagger and 
Waits to Cajun guitarist Sonny Landreth, 
whose Outward Bound (Zoo/Praxis) also 
overflows with bluesy narrative tunes. 
It’s not that story songs aren't popular 
anymore—they're the essence of great 
hip-hop—it’s more like the audience has 
had its attention span depleted. There 
are rewards for those with stamina. 


Lawrence 


FAST CUTS: Elvis: The King of Rock "n" Roll: 
The Complete “505 Masters (RCA): Musically 
speaking. what made Elvis the most 
important voice of his era was his stun- 
ning ability to express total vulnerability 
and complete assurance simultaneously. 
5 the evidence 
ackie Wilson, Mr. Excitement (Rhino): 
ger who ma 
thrill, with the 
nfidence and fi 
had the purest, most pow 
them all: His Danny Boy makes 
сүз sound as if she has the range of 
Joey Ramone. д 


ЕАЅТ ТКАСКЅ 


Christgau | Gorbarini 
7 в 4 if 8 
8 8 10 9 9 
2 8 4 2) 
3 S 7 6 
4 8 5 8 


TALKIN’ FAST DEPARTMENT: lhere's а 
new world record for the fastest rap- 
ping. Tung Twista’s The Record Breaker 
was clocked at 598 syllables in just un- 
dera minute, breaking the old record 
by 70 syllables, good enough for The 
suinness Book of World Records. Says 
Tung, “I had to write a rhyme that I 
knew was going to break the record, 
so I just tiled it The Record Breaker.” 
Makes sense. 

REELING AND ROCKING: Rickie Lee Jones 
has recorded a duet with Robert Mitch- 
um for photographer Bruce Weber's 
documentary film about the actor. . . . 
Salt-N-Pepa will make their acting de- 
but in Stay Timed, starring John Ritter 
and Pam Dawber. They will sing, too, 
and the number will be released as a 
single, as a video and on the sound- 
track LP... Prince is contributing 
songs to a musical comedy starring 
Nick Ne Billy Joe's cover of All 
Shook Up is part of the soundtrack to 
Honeymoon in Vegas. Other artists will 
also cover Elvis originals for the film 

NEWSBREAKS: Tia Carrere, who sang 
Why You Wanna Break My Heart in 
Wayne's World, will start her recording 
career with а debut LP . . . If you 
will be in Chicago in mid-November, 
you'll want to get tickets for the con- 
cert performance of Anthony Davis’ 
opera Х: The Life and Times of Malcolm 
X. The world premiere of the fully 
staged version is scheduled for Febru- 
ary 1993 at the San Francisco Opera 
Hoi In other travel news, visit 
Zion National Park October 2-4 foi 
New Music Across America: Utah, which 
will indude Native American and 
chamber music, folk, world and alter- 
native rock, in one of the country's 
most beautiful natural settings. . . . 
Tony Bennett is recording Perfectly 
Frank, an LP that will showca: s 
long associated with Sinatra, 


. Maria 


Muldavr is working on a new LP with 
some help from Dr. John and the 
Neville Brothers. . . . The first musical 
guest on Eddie Murphy's fall com- 
edy/variety show Move the Crowd, co- 
hosted by Dr. Dre and Ed tover (from 
Yo! MTV Raps) will be Shanice. ... The 
Grateful Dead plan to release more live 
albums from their personal archives. 
Next up: Three from the Vault, taken 
from 1971 concerts Living Colour 
has hired a new bassist, Doug Wimbish, 
and is at work on LP number three. 
Living Colour has also teamed up 
with the Ramones to perform Cabbies 
on Crach for the album Mondo Bizarro, 
. Two new Janis 
s fall: Love, Janis. by 
her sister Laura, and Ellis Amburn's 
Pearl: The Obsessions and Passions. of 
Janis Joplin. .. . Bruce Hornsby has some 
heavy guests on his fourth LP includ- 
ing Bonnie Raitt, Jerry Garcia, Branford 
Marsalis and Pat Metheny. Spike Lee has 
agreed to direct a video. .. . Behind the 
Mask, a book of photos of REM. by 
Jim Greer, will be in the bookstores any 
day. . . . Look for a Spinal Tap NBC 
TV special that will include an ap- 
pearance by Rob Reiner, director of 
the original film. . . . Steve Winwood 
did his first recorded duets ever, with 
Etta James on her recently released 
album. . . . Finally, people always say 
that clothes mz the man, but 
they've never said it about rock-and- 
rollers. Until now. Marc Jacobs, design- 
er for Perry Ellis, using a Keith 
Richards mix of leather, boots, leopard 
ind zebra prints, scarves, waistcoats 
nd T-shirts as the inspiration for his 
fall collection. Jacobs calls Keith “the 
most elegant mess.” We're impressed. 
When Keith tours with the X-pensive 
Winos this fall, will he be wearing 
Richards or Jacobs? Stay tuned. 
BARBARA NELLIS 


19 


LS К ч 
Al “road Ата, l- 


Coast Stole. 


бет tA сеят 


“he banjon 


Street bikers 


Copeland's Sports 


22 


MOVIES 


By BRUCE WILLIAMSON 


IN THIS ELECTION year, Bob Roberts (Mira- 
max/Paramount) is as timely as a TV 
sound bite. The movie turns out to be 
darkly comic as well, with Tim Rob- 
bins—star of Robert Altman's The Play- 
er—hot as ever in the title role, while po- 
sitioning himself as a triple-threat man 
(he also wrote and directed this social 
send-up). The titular Roberts is a rich, 
rabid folksinger financing his own “rebel 
conservative” race for the U.S. Senate. 
His campaign is being filmed by a British 
TV documentary crew, and that's the 
format of Roberts, which leaves lite 
doubt about its doggedly liberal slant. 
Spoofing media coverage of all political 
contests, Robbins’ prime targets range 
from a campaign manager specializing 
in damage control (Alan Rickman oozes 
obnoxiousness in the role) to the slick 
‘TV newscasters played for laughs by Su- 
san Sarandon, James Spader, Pamela 
Reed and Peter Gallagher. Author Gore 
Vidal appears as the incumbent Senator 
under siege, with Giancarlo Esposito as 
the black underground journalist who 
wants to bring Roberts down. Very much 
a young man's movie, Robbins’ debut 
as writer-director bursts with verve and 
often overstating its casc and 
overdoing the busy hand-held camera 
stuff, But how many politically potent 
comedies are even made nowaday 


Damned few. УМУ / 
. 


Some cutthroat real estate salesmen іп 
Chicago sizzled on the stage in David 
Mamet's hit play Glengarry Glen Ross (New 
Line). The movie version, directed by 
James Foley, minimally opened up for 
the screen, is a fraction less intense as 
drama but has sufficient star power to 
take up the slack. Al Pacino, Jack Lem- 
mon, Alec Baldwin, Alan Arkin, Kevin 
Spacey and Ed Harris play it as born 
schmoozers behaving like barracuda in 
a feeding frenzy. Baldwin is especially 
mesmerizing as a ruthless gadfly from 
the main office. Amid a company that 
sometimes resembles a men’s club buck- 
ing for Oscar nominations, only Lem- 
mon comes on a shade too strong, play- 
ing a washed-up old salesman so 
patently phony that it’s hard to believe 
anyone would buy his line. Still un- 
abashedly theatrical, Glengarry Glen Ross 
has the awful fascination of an urban 
snake ри. ¥¥¥ 


. 
lly a hugely successful six-hour 
drama on Swedish television—and still 
three hours long—The Best Intentions 
(Goldwyn) came away with Best Picture 
and Best Actress awards at this year's 


Robbins/Roberts on the camp: 


trail. 


Film hustlers have at it 
in politics, real estate 
and—surprise! —Hollywood. 


Cannes Film Festi 
Berginan, de 


. Written by Ingmar 
ovie spell out tlic story 
of his parents’ anguished courtship and 
early years of marriage. Henrik Ber; 
man (Samuel Froler) is an impoverished 
divinity student whose first assignment 
ага desolate parish in northern Sweden 
turns out to be the wrong move for his 
well-bred young wife, Anna, clearly a 
strong-willed woman destined to have 
her way. Pernilla August (directed by her 
Danish husband, Bille August, who won 
an Oscar for Best Foreign Language 
Film with Pelle Ше Conqueror) portrays the 
indomitable Anna; Max von Sydow and 
Ghita Norby play her passionately coi 
cerned parents. This is a beautiful film, 
labor of love so real and absorbing th 
you may be too caught up in Bergman's 
narrative to notice the time it takes to 
tell. УУУУ 


First reviewed here in January 1988, 
Rampage (Miramax) was delayed by legal 
skirmishes and has finally been released 
Now as then, it's a socko thriller written 
and directed by William Friedkin, based 
оп a novel about a serial killer (Alex 
McArthur) who eviscerates his victims 
and wallows in their blood. Michael 
Biehn ably plays the troubled prosecutor 
who has an aversion to capital punish- 
ment, though he argues for the death 
penalty because that's his job. There's 
too much talk throughout but plenty of 


nerve-tightening terror between the 
lines. ¥¥ 
е 

Consider a long line of Hollywood ех- 
posés, from Sunset Boulevard to The Play- 
er, and there's not a hell of a lot that's 
new in Mistress (Rainbow! Tribeca). The 
movie putsa wealth of talent to work un- 
dermining its own case against Tinsel- 
town as an aesthetic sinkhole where tal- 
ent hardly matters. Robert Wuhl plays a 
wanna-be film writer conned into believ- 
ing that one of his old scripts m 1al- 
ly become а movie. As the dogged pro- 
ducer behind the con, Martin Landau 
contributes a fine character study of a 
has-been hustler. His prey are two possi- 
ble financial backers (Ей Wallach and 
Danny Aiello) who may cough up in or- 
der to guarantee movie roles for their 
mistresses. Tuesday Knight and Jean 
Smart make stock whimsy of their stints 
as the kept women; Laurie Metcalf plays 
Wuhl's long-suffering wife, who wants a 
normal life back in New York. The su- 
percharge of energy that saves Mistress 
from mediocrity occurs when Robert De 
Niro (also one of the film's co-producers) 
checks in as a West Coast steamroller 
with a weak spot for his ladylove (Sheryl 
Lee Ralph)—an ambitious schemer who 
can actually act. So can everyone che, 
but Mistress still falls far short of making 
the big time. ¥¥ 


. 

Roberto Benigni, a nebbishy Woody 
Allen type who is already a major star in 
Italy, co-authored and appears in Johnny 
Stecchino (New Line), a smash hit over 
there. Stateside audiences may find that 
some of the subtitled johnny Stecchino's 
broad humor doesnt travel well, but 
Benigni is often droll in his dual role 
as Dante, a bus driver for retarded kids, 
and his lookalike, a Sicilian mobster 
named Stecchino (in English, the name 
means toothpick). Nicoletta Br i ds 
the perky moll involved with both char- 
acters. Benigni has a fine time getting his 
signals as well as his identities mixed 
when—as Dante—he believes. sniffing 
cocaine is a quick fix for diabetes. No 
one actually slips on a banana peel, but 
fun seekers should be warned: The jokes 
seldom get more sophisticated than 
that, Wir 


. 

If distinguished credits could put а 
nonfiction movie into the winner's circle, 
A Brief History of Time (Triton) would be a 
guaranteed hit. Inspired by the book by 
superscientist Stephen Hawking and di- 
rected by Errol Morris (widely acclaimed 
for his documentary The Thin Blue Line), 
the movie has arresting music by Philip 
ss. The majority of moviegoers, albeit 


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24 


duly impressed. are likely to feel they're 
in over their heads while this portrait of 
Hawking shapes up and breaks up 
around them with cosmic unpredictabil- 
ity. Suffering from a severe neurological 
disability, Hawking writes, thinks, teach- 
es and shares his thoughts about every- 


Frost warning. 


you soon will. 
Lucy, the lovely prey puer Stok- 
ers Dracula in the forthcoming 
erotic thriller from Franc 
Coppola. “A wonderful р: 
Frost, who got the role "because 
Francis saw me in Dark Obsession 
and liked me. 1 was Gabriel 
Byrne's rebellious sister. It was 
sort of incestuous.” Sex is also a 
major factor in her portrayal of 
а nineteen-year-old 
an aristocrat, who's used to 
these little English boys. Dracula 
represents the dark side. When 
Lucy gets aroused, she wants Drac- 
ula to come and suck her blood. 
She's so turned on, she sort of has 
an orgasm, then passes out.” Re- 
hearsals, Sadie admits, were em- 


one MEA ted Rn 
y - - - and that broke the ice." 
in England, 


where her 


pany, Frost entered d 
at the age of 11. She has just 
finished shooting Heirs and Graces 
in London, a comedy with Eric 
Idle, Rick Moranis and John 
Cleese. She and her husband, ac- 
tor-musician Gary Kemp, who 
starred in The Krays, have a tod- 
dler son. “Gary just did a part in 
The Bodyguard, with Kevin Costner 
and Whitney Houston. That movie 


will be out by the end of the year. 
rent a house in 


So we'll probabl 
California for a w 
what happens 


thing major—from the big bang of cre- 
ion to his idea (later retracted) that 
time would eventually reverse itself in 
арх own 
electronically fortified 
when he speaks. His mother, family 
members and collcagues all contribute 
interviews to a work of exceptional ambi- 
tion and density. Drawings and other v 
sual effects do the rest. Here's an intelli 
gent, accessible film about black holes 
the universe and the m 
tence that ma most. science-fiction. 


epics look simpleminded, WY 
. 


An explosion of Hollywood's young 
stars of tomorrow, including co-author 
and director Marc Rocco (see August’s 
“Off Camera”) behind the scenes, makes 
Where the Day Takes You (New Line) em- 
phatically something to see. This gritty, 
unremitingly grim picture of street 
mostly runaway rebels, addicts 
and hustlers who have decided to be 
homeless in Hollywood—touches on a 
pressing social issue in a way that de- 
mands апепйоп. Dermot Mulroney 
stars as King, uncrowned leader of the 
group, whose associates include Sean 
Astin (brilliant as a doomed druggie), 
Ricki Lake, Balthazar Getty, Lara Flynn 
Boyle and James LeGros. Overall, 
they're a pretty fine-looking bunch of 
aimless young derelicts, but there's utter 
conviction in Rocco's rap on a blighted 
milieu where a friend won't ask if you 
had a nice day but may well inquire, 
“Did you suck any cock?” Should anyone 
wonder why Where the Day chooses to 
dwell on such a seamy slice of life, the 
answer is painful but easy: Because it’s 
there. УУУ 


. 
Singles (Warner) will probably bring its 
writer-director, Cameron Crowe, anoth- 
er success comparable to Fast Times at 
Ridgemont High (which he didn't direct 
but adapted [rom his own novel). High- 
energy mating, dating, lying, playing 
games and living together are the con- 
cerns of every loose cannon ог love- 
starved soul on the club scene in today's 
Seattle. Campbell Scott and Kyra Sedg- 
wick are couple A, who worry about an 
unplanned pregnancy. Matt Dillon and 
Bridget Fonda as couple В are a shade 
more interesting—he's a funky musi- 
cian-waiter-deliveryman of dubious tal 
ent, fawned on by Fonda who contem- 
plates breast surgery to make him like 
her better. Scott, Dillon and Fonda live 
in the same apartment complex, a v 
al Crowe's п 
striving. Singles is 
characters address 
( 


‘acting whet 
the camera, 


but 
we's scattershot, largely superficial 
ensemble piece throbs with the MTV 
rhythm likely to simulate a voyage of dis 
covery for the young at heart. W/2 


MOVIE SCORE CARD 


capsule close-ups of current films 
by bruce williamson 


Batman Retums (Reviewed 9/92) Fair 
sequel with good bad guys and Pfeif- 
fer's plucky Catw Wh 
The Best Intentions (See review) Ingmar 
Bergman's roots. wm 
Bob Roberts (Sce review) Politics ac- 
cording to Tim Robbins. wih 
Breaking the Rules (0/09) Three guys 
and a girl hit the read. К 
A Brief History of Time (See review) The 
advanced class. we 
Brother’s Keeper (9/92) Rural murder 
case vividly recapped. we 
La Discréte (8/92) French comedy 
about a seducer's comeuppance. W 
Elegant Criminel (8/92) He just kills for 
kicks, stylishly. Wh 
Enchonted April (9/92) English ladies 
try Italy for a change. ww 
Gos Food Lodging (8/92) Backwoods 
angst for a trio of women. wh 
Glengorry Glen Ross (See review) The 
rat race—from Mamet's play. УУУ 
Howards End (4/92) Forster's book as a 


splendid screen treat. ven 
Jersey Girl (9/92) Jami Gertz is fine as 
Hackensack's loss. Wh 


Johnny Stecchino (See review) All Be- 
nigni and broad as can be. Wh 
A League of Their Own (8/92) Gals come 
out to play ball. ww 
Light Sleeper (8/92) Sarandon and 


Dafoe do drugs with panache. YW 
Mistress (See review) How to get your 
girlfriend into рисһав w 


Patriot Games (8/92) Harrison Ford 
fights Irish terroris Wh 
Pepi, Luci, Bom (8/92) A far-out start for 
Pedro Almodóvar. Wh 
The Player (6/92) Robert Altman gives 
Hollywood the hotfoot wm 
Prelude to o Kiss (Listed only) Bride 
swaps souls with codger, but Alec 
Baldwin is the real showstopper. УМ 
Rampage (Sce review) Bloodcurdling 
thriller brought back. Уу 
Single White Female (9/92) She's а psy- 


cho in the с room. Wh 
Singles (Sec review) Cats on the club 
scene in Seattle. Wh 
Swoon (9/92) Leopold and Loeb revis- 
ited, again. w 
Volere Volare (9/92) Another comic- 
strip character gets real. w 


Where the Day Takes You (See review) 
Really down in Hollywood. ха 
Wisecracks (9/92) Some funny girls 
demonstrate Шаг stand-up comedy 
isn't just a man's world. vn 


WF Don't miss YY Worth a look 
WY Good show Y Forget it 


Now BENSON & HEDGES 
PUTS RICH, SATISFYING FLAVOR 
IN YOUR POCKET 


a 


Lights: 12 mg "'tar;' 0.8 mg nicotine Меп. 13 та" Чаг, 0.8 mg nicotine; 
Kings: 16 mg "'tar;' 1.1 mg nicotine av. per cigarette by FTC method. 


SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Quitting Smoking 


Now Greatly Reduces Serious Risks to Your Health. 


© Pháp Monts inc. 1992 


VIDEO 


ШШ 


“Im a horror buff” 
says Whoopi Gold- 
berg, whose own 
frightfully funny stint 
in Ghost scared up an 
Oscar. “Especially old 
hori like the thrill 
of it." Videowise, that 
translates into a 
batch of favorite rentals that includes An 
American Werewolf in London and The 
Bride of Frankenstein. “| don't like blood- 
and-guts horror,” she adds, “but you can 
also put down A Nightmare on Elm Street.” 
Surprisingly, Whoopi eschews comedies 
(“They don't move me“), opting instead for 
rewinds of Blade Runner and An Affair to 
Remember. Oh, yes, and To Sir, with Love. 
“Ooooh, Sidney Poitier,” she purrs. “You 
can put that one down twice." — SUSAN KARUN 


VIDEO TREKS 


In film's early days, explorers risked 
their lives hauling movie cameras to re- 
mote corners of the world. Milestone's 
Age of Exploration series captures these 
primitive epics in eight tapes (five of 
them silent), inch 
Tabu (1931): In this solemn South Seas 
saga, young innocents defy religious cus- 
tom and elope. ТІ 
(Nosferatu) Mur 3 
Chang (1927): Pioneer family in Thai 
jungle fends off wild animals, but the 
drama is tame: Dad hunts, 
play—then 400 elephants stampede. 
Е: mily. By the makers of King Kong. 
In the Lond of the Wor Canoes (1914): Fea- 
tures the Kwakiutl Indians of British 
Columbia in a raw reenactment of a vio- 
lent tribal fable. Cool costumes, customs 
and canoes. 
With Byrd ot the South Pole (1950): Noble 
explorer flies over the pole, then spends 
two hard years hanging out with pen- 
guins. Fact-filled but stulfy—and cold. 
—CHRIS BALL 
(All tapes available from Milestone Film & 
Video, 212-865-7449.) 


LASER FARE 


aries, two special disc pack- 
50th birthday, Cosablonca 


th a making-of docu- 
ed by Lauren Bacall; 
edition of 


mentary, па 
and the 40th: 


‘public Pictures: $60) includes archival 
reproductions of the film's press book 


and lobby card. ... New from PolyGram 
are director Peter Sellars’ bizarre stag- 


ings of three Mozart operas: Le nozze di 
Figaro, Don Giovanni and Cosi fan tutte. 
Jettisoning their traditional backdrops, 
Sellars sets the operas in contemporary 
surroundings—a Trump Tower pent- 
house, a street corner in Spanish 
Harlem and a seaside diner, respecti 
ly—with winning results. . .. Good news 
for the impatient: MGM/LA' Busby 
Berkeley Disc ($39.98) features Busby's 
best—just his legendary musical num- 
bers, по silly scripts to get in the way. 

— GREGORY FAGAN 


VIDEO SLEEPERS 
good movies that crept out of town 


Junior Bonner: Steve McQueen plays a 
rodeo star in this winsome 1972 Western 
(director Sam Peckinpah was seldom so 
benign), with Robert Preston and Ida 


(1988) about a man who finds—to his re- 
gret—the weirdo who abducted his girl- 
friend from a gas station. The U.S. 
make is already under way with Kieler 
Sutherland and Jeff Bridges. 

Winter Kills: Audacious black comedy 
about a sexy, slain U.S. President, his 
wild brother (Bridges again) апа his 
mad dad, played by John Huston at 
peak strength. —BRUCE WILLIAMSON 


VIDEO “HIT” LIST 


Long before Bugsy, Hollywood had а 
love affair with crime flicks. С 


Gangster Collection lets you take а trip 
down machine-gun alley 

Street with No Name (1948): An FBI agent 
goes undercover to bust a crime boss 


(Richard Widmark) obsessed with catch- 
ing a cold. 

‘Show Them No Mercy (19 

and baby are held hostage by kidnap- 
pers. Cesar Romero stars; great final 
shootout. 


Dillinger (1945): Makes Big John out to 
be a regular guy who went bad when a 
bar wouldn't take his check. Bump this 
one off. 
Road House (1943): Twisted passions ig- 
nite in the woods when Widmark, this 
time a psychotic saloon owner, goes soft 
for lounge singer Lupi 
Al Соропе (1959): Rod Steiger as Big Al 
chews the scenery—and 50 pounds of 
provolone. Co-stars Martin Balsam. 
Pick Up on South Street (1953): pocket 
(Widmark) goes after wrong girl, uncov- 
ers espionage, pisses off everyone. 
Johnny Apollo (1940): Rich boy Tyrone 
Power becomes small-time hood when 
dad does a Boesky and gets jailed 
Dorothy Lamour and Lloyd Nolan are 
the accomplices. 
Gun Crozy (1949): Pistols = passion for ob- 
sessive lovebirds. A film noir classic. 
St. Volentine’s Day Massacre (1967): Jason 
capone, George Segal is Bugs 


one with cement shoes and tos 
—REED KIRK RAHLMANN 


(All tapes from CBS/Fox, $19.98 each.) 


A a 
[pS MOOD ли = MOVIE 


The Rodney King Case: What the Jury Saw in Californie v. Pow- 
ell (Caurt TV condensation of the trial that burned L.A.; they | 
should have condensed the title); Time Out: The Truth About | 
HIV, AIDS ond You (Magic, Arsenio ond celebs tell it like itis; | 
directed Бу Malcolm-Jamal Warner); Don’t Call Me Bugsy | 
(vid bio of bad boy Siegel; Beatty's better). 


DOCUMENTARY 


STYLE 


ANIMAL MAGNETISM 


Want to take a walk on the wild side? Check out this fall's fash- 
ion stampede of animal prints—the most impressive roundup 
of endangered species since Noah set sail in the ark. (In these 
eco-conscious times, naturally, we're talking imitation prints 
and faux fur, not actual pelts.) In Europe, Italy's Gianni Ver- 
sace leads the pack with a brash 
menagerie of untamed styles, includ- 
ing a tiger-print wool-and-leather 
biker jacket (about $4700) and, from 
his Istante line, a leopard blazer 
($1450) with matching vest ($475). 
In America, wildlife on the prowl in- 
cludes Shady Characters leopard 
velveteen shirt ($120), silk tic ($35) 
and cap ($25). Looking West for in- 
spiration, some designers are riding 
the range with Appaloosa prints. 
Michael Kors's first men's collection 
plays the ponies with a jacket 
($1595). Burma Bibas offers the silk 
crepe pony-print vest shown here 
(865). For fun, there's Gaspar Saldanha's fringed pony-print 
це ($75), Charles Goodnight’s pajamas ($50) and a fun-fur 
Mad Hauer's top hat ($140) from a new Canadian company 
called Hoax Couture, The way to wear these pelt prints is one 
A pony-print shirt, for example, goes well with a 
lack jacket and jeans. Or try а zebra-print vest over a 
‘Tshirt. Combine too many animal prints, though, and you'll 
be ready for the zoo. 


WE’RE ALL EARS 


Remember when only bikers and artists had 
pierced ears? Times have certainly changed 
Michael Jordan sports a diamond stud (or 
agold number 23 after a big win), Bruce Spring- 
steen has two in one ear and George Michael's 
ears are adorned with gold hoops—and even 

60 Minutes’ Ed Bradley wears a golden 
loop. “As we near the turn of the centu- 
ry,” says Artwear's founding jewelry de- 
signer and style maker Robert Lee 
Morris, “everything that was counter- 
establishment is becoming main- 
stream.” In fact, men's earrings have 
become so common, there's now a de- 
mand for fakes. Swank has debuted a 
masculine version of the clip-on ear- 
ring that grips the earlobe magneti- 
cally and can't be told from the real 
McCoy. For less than $10, these faux 
earrings are aimed at anyone who 
wants the look without the commitment. 


HOT SHOPPING: LAS VEGAS 


Imagine Rodeo Drive relocated to ancient Rome and you 
have The Forum Shops at Caesars Palace, a megamall in 
toga togs. It's shopping at its glitziest. Among the more than 


60 stores in the hip 
CLOTHES LINE 


240,000-square foot 

complex on Las Ve- 

gas Boulevard are A реек into Giancarlo Esposito's 

Gucci, Louis Vuiuon ciosct is a blast from the past. The 
actor, who is making a name 

for himself in Bob 


and Gianni Versace. 
Men can choose from 

Roberts and the up- 
coming Malcolm X, 


a broad selection of 
has a thing for jazz- 


clothing at Cuzzens 
era clothing. “I really 


or Kerkorian; wom- 

en's boutiques range 
dig wearing three- 
button suits with 


from the elegance 
patch pockets, 


of Escada to the 

silky temptations of 
Mitea Seo wide lapels and full, 
There's ciena pleated trousers.” 
Мый все When he is filming 
Sadio Arone on location, Esposito 
"раг sells grear often scours vintage 
looking ‘cartoon stores for heavy- 
character clothing: weight gabardine 
Afer shopping, suits, funky Forties 
stop. by Spago for ties, fedoras and antique glasses. 
опе of Wolfgang не fell for the Forties while studying 
Puck's unique pizzas jazz greats. “Those cats always 
or watch as the апі dressed. That turned me on.” Even 
mated statues of the Esposito’s casual look is retro: He 
Roman favors a brown Sears hiker jacket 
from the Fifties and rides a 1965 
BMW motorcycle. 


gods come 


to life ev- 
ery hour. 


CALLING ALL WORLD TRAVELERS 


It's rare that so many travel editors pool 
their picks for the world’s top vacation 
spots, which is why the News Travel 
Networks 1992 Golden Compass 
Awards are so compelling. Chosen by 
people who've seen it all, the awards nar- 
row down the possibilities to the best des- 
tinations in several categories. The 
winners are: Cities: San Francisco and 
Budapest. Beaches: Panama City, Florida, 
and Cancün, Mexico. Beach resorts: the 

Ritz-Carlton in Laguna Niguel, California, 

and Club Med in Huatulco, Mexico. Cruise- 

ship itinerary: Windjammer in the Caribbean. 

Cities for food: New Orleans and Paris. 


SWEATERS 


Poor-boy ribbed pullovers; standard or 
mock turtlonecks with or without a zipper 


STYLES 


Bold geometrics bosed on classic pat- 
terns, such as updated argyles; stripes 


PATTERNS 


electric reds and blues; 


Chorcoal gray and basic black; heathery 
iff lamb's wool 


tones With muted occents; coshmere 


Neon pastel: 
fireproof synthetics; 


COLORS AND KNITS 


26 


Where & How to Buy on page 175, 


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30 


By DIGBY DIEHL 


Just WHEN rr looked as though the Amer- 
ican detective novel couldn't get much 
better, James Ellroy appears with a styl 
tie breakthrough that may revolutionize 
crime fiction. The tough, telegraphic 
prose of White Jazz (Knopf) gives the 
term hard-boiled a whole new meaning. 
Written in a riveting street-smart cop 
shorthand, this wild, funny novel reach- 
es back to the ging days of rack- 


we meet Lieutenant 
David “the Enforcer” Klein, L.A.PD., he 
tosses flyweight boxer Sanderline John 
son out of the window of a ninth-story 
hotel room. This is an object lesson for 
Johnson and all others considering testi- 
fying before the grand jury investigation 
of Klein’s part-time employer, Meyer 
Harris “Mickey” Cohen. The Mickster, 
who is failing to make a comfortable liv- 
ing out of illegal gambling, has turned 
to moviemaking and is the producer of 
a nonunion horror film called Attack of 
the Atomic Vampire. Unfortunately, he has 
had the bad taste to entice a young ас- 
tress named Glenda Bledsoe to star in 
this grade В epic—while she's under 
contract to Howard Hughes. Hughes 
hires Klein to double-cross Mickey and 
find a way to break Glenda’s contract. 
And so it goes. 

Those are just a few of the threads in 
this deliciously complicated web of plots 
and counterplots filled with dirty cops, 
colorful crooks, kinky dames and rapid- 
fire v lence, Ellroy punctuates the story 
atches of fictional headlines and 
age from the Herald-Express, the 
Mirror, the Times and Hush-Hush maga- 
zine, but the bulk of it is written in the 
form of Klein's notes, hastily scribbled 
he whirls through this funhouse mix of 
sex, crime and bruta 

3 zigzag: 
trail through detective territory, seve 
others are doing a fine job the old-fash- 
ioned way. George V. Higgins, who vies 
with Elmore Leonard for the title of king 
of dialog, has written a new Jerry 
Kennedy novel, Defending Billy Ryen 
(Henry Holt). Higgins’ resourceful de- 
fense attorney digs through 
turf, peopled by Boston politici 
small-time criminals, in search of justice 
nd social irony. In Eugene 12275 ninth 
novel, Tribal Secrets (Bantam), a Chicago 
past catches up with 
him at the same time as his с r heats 
up and a love-crazed fan makes her 
move. Lodystinger (Crown), a first novel 
by Craig Smith, is a tightly crafted 
thriller about a gorgeous con woman 
who gets into deep, dangerous waters 


nilia 
ns and. 


And all that White Jazz. 


Ellroy re-creates crime fiction; 
a Keith Richards bio and 
Gore Vidal on culture. 


while plying her trade from New Or- 
lans to Jamaica. Its a clever, sexy, 
Nineties version of The Sting. 

One of the best biographical books of 
this or any other year is Peter 
memoir Dangerous Friends: At Lorge with 
Huston and Hemingwoy in the Fifties (Nan 
Talese/Doubleday). The veteran novelist 
and screenwriter chronicles wonderful 
adventures with John Huston, Ernest 
Hemingway, Luis Miguel Dominguin, 
Orson Welles, Ava Gardner and other 

lented, volatile characters. Viertel's 
g of fascinating anecdotes conjures 
igger-than life friendships during a 
lost era in Hollywood. 

Victor Bockris, who has written bi- 
phies of Andy Warhol and William 
Burroughs, now locuses his eye on the 
man who has spent his Ше overshad. 
owed by Mick Jagger. In Keith Richards: 
Key to the Highway (Poseidon Press), Bock- 
ris re-creates the wild life of this rock- 
and-roll legend. with the voices of his 
contemporaries musicians, lovers and 
drug addicts. This is such an epic tale of 
excess in every aspect that by the end of 
it you simply marvel that Richards is still 
alive and still making great music. 

By his own admission, Nicholas von 
Hoffman started out to write a biogra- 
phy of Malcolm Forbes and ended up 
writing a book about greed and im 
morality in American business. But Cepi- 
talist Fools: Toles of Americon Business, from 
Carnegie to the Milken Gang (Doubleday) 
may also be read a 


st 
up 


Von Hollman's fascination with the era 
of B. С. Forbes, Pierre du Pont, Allred 
Sloan, J. P. Morgan and John D. Rocke- 
feller—and his grudging admiration for 
their business ethics 

Finally, а slim collection of lectures 
presented at Harvard University, The 
Screening of History (Harvard), by Gore V 
dal, is an astonishingly original and pen- 
ewating piece of cultural criticism. Vidal 
deals with mo; their historical con- 
text and the reconstruction of history in 
the movies. But he also meditates on the 
value of empathy, his obsession 
coln and the demise of literatui the 
face of the onslaught of film. This book 
bristles with wit and provoi 


BOOK BAG 


Fether's Dey (Birch Lane), by Alan 
Trustman: A hyperactive international 
thriller jam-packed with enough action 
and plot to fill three 
enough heart to keep you reading 

After the Мог Was Ov. 
(Random House), by Neil Shecha 
one expressed the agony of the Vietnam 
war with more ion and understand- 
ing than did Sheehan in A Bright Shining 
Lie, and no one has described its after- 
math with more sensitivity and insight 

Irresistible Impulse: A True Story of Blood 
‘end Money (Simon & Schuster), by Robert 
Lindsey: A true crime gem that brilliant 
ravels the ill-fated marriage of a 
c British millionaire to a trusting 
beauty 


leas. 


novels—and 


Californi: 
Doncing the Dreom: Poems and Refiections 


(Doubleday), by Michael Jackson: The 
Gloved One waxes philosophic about 
life, love, God and music. 

A Book of Movie Bests (Walker and Com- 
pany), by Dale Thomajan: A freelance 
movie critic presents awards for the best 
last line in a gangster movie, the best sec- 
ond-banana villain, the best cameo ap- 
pearance by a director in his own movie 
and 100 other offbeat categories 
yo! 

This Is the American Earth (Sierra Club), 
by Ansel Adams and Nancy Newhall: 
First published in 1960 and now re 
sued as part of Sierra Club’s centennial, 
these incredible black-and-white photos 
with text remind us why we fight to pre- 
serve the wilderness. 

Suicide Blonde (Atlantic Monthly), by 
Darcey Steinke: This is either a brave, 
shocking novel of sexual candor or a sad 
story of emotional need and degrada- 
tion. Either way, it is written with the 
flair and unflinching eye of a female Jim 
Thompson. 


Test 


rself 


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Rule #41 


Anyone 
with an 
FM radio 
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their car 
can 
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Anyone. 


All you need to enjoy CD in your car is your existing FM radio and a Pioneer” 
Multi-Play Compact Disc Player in your trunk. It plays through an FM frequency, 
and the 6-Disc Magazine it uses is compatible with Pioneer's Home Multi-Play 
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1992 Pioneer Electronics (USA) inc.. Long Beach, CA 


МАМТКАСК 


а guy’s guide to changing times 


SAY IT WITH CHOICE 


What role should a man have in an abortion? Privately, 
when faced with the dilemma, most men show the wisdom to 
Jet the woman make the ultimate choice. Now it’s time to take 
the logic behind that quiet support and make it public. When 
Operation Rescue comes to your town, let the woman in your 
life know how much you really care by making things as un- 
comfortable as possible for the anti-choice fanatics. Believe us, 
she will appreciate it more than flowers. 


LOST IN SPACE 


We've known for a long time that men and 
women use different techniques to find their 
way in the world, but now we have proof. Re- 
searchers tell us that women get from here to 
there by recalling specific details along the 
way—the antique store, the yogurt shop, the 
corner where you once tried to explain why a 
boat was sometimes as important as a relation- 


ship—while men 
navigate by vectors: 
two steps ahead, 


lefi for a minute, 
right for a couple of 
minutes. In short, 
while women rely 
on dead reckoning, 
men fly by instruments, 
Women do better in mazes 
where the landmarks remain stable; men excel when land- 
marks are obscured but the overall configuration remains 
constant —making them more adept at finding a port in a 
storm, for instance. In other words, she drives in daylight and 
you take the wheel at night. And the next ume she gets all 
fussed about your obsession with maps—and your refusal to 
ask direcuons— just say 175 genetic. 


WHY THERE'LL ALWAYS BE A FRANCE 


Twenty percent of French women would not consider it 
sexual harassment if they were asked to remove their clothes 
during a job interview. 


IMOC (IRON MAN 
ON CAMPUS) 


What do college men think 
of the men’s movement? Not 
much, apparently. То the 
typical collegian, Robert 
Bly—author of the near- 
biblical tome оп mas- 
culinity, Iron John—is 
just another talking 
head on PBS. 
“Sure, we have oc- 
casional retreats,” 
explains Berkeley 
frat brother Chris 
Lutz, “but we don't 
characterize it as a 
men's movement.” 
Lee MacAdams, a 
junior at Colum- 
bia University, is 
more blu "Iron 
John doesn’t tell 
me anything that 
1 don't already 
know." 

But that doesn't 
mean MacAdams and 
his contemporaries na- 
tionwide are hiding thei 
XY chromosome in their dorm closets. MacAdams started a 
weekly discussion group at the student center. He's not alon 
Undergrads at Duke organized a group called Men Acting f 
Change in an attempt to raise consciousness about what i 
like to be an average guy in the Nineties. Other offshoots in- 
dude a class on fathering that is now part of the curriculum at 
the University of Vermont. Courses in men's studies have 
popped up at USC, University of Oregon, UC-Berkeley and 
Rutgers, as well. But don't think drum beating and sweat 
lodges will replace beer bashes and football games. “We talk 
about how we can enjoy our maleness without being sexi 
MacAdams explain: , "and what it’s like to be a man at a time 
when there’s so much antimale feeling on campus.” 


\ 


y 


THE MANTRACK SPORTS CLICHÉ QUIZ 


Match the cliché in the first column with what it really means in the second. 


‘This team is a famil 

2. “Tony Jackson left the dub for personal reasons.” 

3. “Hey, don’t ask me, I’m not the coach." 

4. “Нез a pure natural athlete.” 

5. "He's a smart player, a scrapper, a guy who makes 
the most of his ability." 

6. "We're in a rebuilding mode." 

7. "Y m a Christian, so when I scored that touchdown, I 
knelt down and thanked the Lord." 

8. "Don Baylor is a fine managerial candidate, but we 
decided to go another way.” 
‚on has one thing to say to Eric Dicker- 
Dickerson makes four million dollars a 


10. *It's a game of inches." 


a. The coach is, in my opinion, an idiot. 

b. We stink. 

с. He's on his way to rehab or jail. 

d. Unfortunately for us, it’s also a game of points. 

е. We're in first place. 

f. Baylor is black. 

g- God likes football but seems to hate the homeless. 
h. He is small, slow, white and very popular in Boston. 
i. I'm great, you stink, pay me. 

J; He is big, fast and black. 


Answers: 
1. (е), 2. (©), 5. (а), 4. 0,5. (h), б. (0), 
7. (8), 8. (D, 9. (), 10. (d). 


33 


за 


SEX AND THE SINGLE SITCOM 


While many people complain about too much sex on TV, 
we'd like to offer a gripe of our own: Why is television sex 
such bad sex, and why is it always the man who's the lousy 
lover? Take for example the episode of Home Improvement 
when Tim attempts to erect a satellite dish: 

“All you need to do is to point it up," he smugly tells 
ilc. “Any man can do that.” 

“But it has to be up for more than ten seconds,” she replies 
with a smirk. 

Or what about the poor 
woman married to the attor- 
ney in Sland By Your Man? 
“The Dow Jones has gone 
back up,” she says wistfully, 
"but Stewart hasn't." 

Of course, theres any 
episode of Married . . . with 
Children, featuring Al Bundy, 
the 15-second wonder. The 
list goes on—and on and on. 
Why is TV full of dysfunc- 
tional men and their lusty, if 
“unsatisfied, partners? Sim- 
ple. When a man gets an erection, there's the possibility of re- 
al sex, and TV wants its sex cute, not real. And since it would 
be politically incorrect to make women bear the burden of bad 
sex, men get to be the butt of the joke. It makes us think of an 
exchange we heard one night on Roseanne, when a confused 
D.J. said to his father (played by John Goodman), “I thought 
it was good to be a man.” 

"Oh, no,” replied Goodman solemnly 
Sixties, son.” 


“Not since the late 


MYTHS OF THE LOCKER ROOM 


One of the great myths 
that women have about men 
is that we spend our time in 
locker rooms talking about 
sex. That might be true for 
llth graders. Older guys— 
say, your average high 
school senior—are much 
less outspoken. For a man to 
talk about sex, he has to 
have several drinks under 
his belt or spend the day ice 
fishing—an experience so 
boring and cold that a cer- 
tain delirium sets in. 

So what do men talk about 
in locker rooms? We did a 
highly scientific survey: Be- 
tween 16 and 25, men talk 
about sports. From 25 to 35, 
it's money. From 35 to 45, 
it’s family. From 45 to 65, it's 
about how if other people in 
their family made more 
money, they could spend 
more time playing sports. 
From 65 to 75, politics and 
prostates take center stage. 
Alter 75, they don't spend 
much time in locker rooms. 
They change their golf shoes 
n their cars, complain about 
their short irons and give 
praise that they don't go ice 
fishing anymore. 


LIP SERVICE 


the inedia wants to look like a Neanderthal, so 


Nobody 
we just accept the feminist agenda 
—CUS NEWS CORRESPONDENT BERNARD GOLDBERG 

. 
“If women really earned fifty-nine cents to the dollar for the 
same work as men, what business could compete effectively by 
hiring men at any level?” — ОВ WARREN FARRELL 


. 

“Every lesbian spear chucker in this country is hoping 1 get 

defeated." REPRESENTATIVE ROBERT К. DORNAN (R-CALIFORNIA) 
. 

“L was harassed in the past, when I was younger, prettier 
and more naive. Men being harassed by women or men 
doesn't get discussed. It's different for а man because it's not 
macho to admit you've been harassed.” 

— АСТОК GREGORY HARRISON 
. 
П that damn Robert Bly drumming has made it impossi- 
ble to take introspective men seriously.” 
—KEN CLATTERBAUCH, PHILOSOPHY PROFESSOR AND AUTHOR 
. 

“Ivy still not correct to say it too loudly, but many women 
believe theyre better understood by the Helen Gurley 
Browns of the world than by the Germaine Greers.” 

— WRITER SALLY QUINN 


STAYING POWER 


А San Diego psychiatrist has a new solution to the old prob- 
lem of premature ejaculation: the controversial antidepres- 
sant drug Prozac. “I've prescribed Prozac for more than one 
hundred men complaining of premature ejaculation, and the 
cure ratio has consistently been one hundred percent,” says 
Dr. Roger T. Crenshaw. Half the men have been able to re- 
duce their dosage or go off the medication entirely within a 
year, he adds. 


TWO BOOKS TO AVOID THIS FALL 


The Joy of Uncircumcising, by Jim Bigelow. "I often 
prayed that God would heal my foreskin and give it 
back to me,” writes the author. “This book is an earnest 
effort to share the accumulated knowledge about fore- 
skin restoration in as comprehensible and useful a man- 


ner as possible.” 


Men Are Not Cost Effective, by June Stephenson, who 
believes men should be taxed extra for being men. She 


maintains: “Maybe you don't batter women, but jour 
brothers do. Even if you don't commit serial or mass mur- 
der, your brothers do. Maybe you're not a drunk driver, 
but your brothers are. Your brothers are murderers, stock mar- 
het manipulators, gang rapists, robbers, arsonists, litterers, pol- 
luters and child abusers. Your brothers are killing us." 


MANTRACK: THE SURVEY 


sex, lies and saturday night 


THE MATERIAL MAN 
MEN AND WOMEN TOGETHER: THE GOOD NEWS 


Do men ever out- 


With all the attention given to sexual problems by the grow enjoving their 
media, you could conclude that there's almost no one toys? Hardly. That's 
out there enjoying a satisfying sex life. Not so, accord- why we asked men 
ing to a Roper report, some of which was done exclu- which of their posses- 
sively for PLaveoY. A significant majority of men and sions they most enjoy 
women—about 80 percent—report that they're doing owning and һом 
fine, and they assume their partner is happy, 100. The much they enjoy 
results were surprisingly similar for both men and shopping. With one 
women. In fact, men and women seem to have far more exception shopping 
in common than many might think. Almost identical for furniture —young- 


numbers—more than half—report being “very satis- er men are much 
fied" with their sex life. (Interestingly, men underesti- more avid mall rats 
mated their partner's satisfaction, at least among the than their older coun- 
most satisfied, while women do the reverse). Men and terparts. And we also 


women also lie ilar percentage of the time—a lot— learned that тоя 
when it comes to their sexual history, with the guys just men are becoming 
barely edging out the gals. increasingly environmentally aware when making purchas- 


es—42 percent of men buy products because they are ecolog- 
ically sound, as opposed to 25 percent one year earlier. 


HOW SATISFIED ARE YOU WITH YOUR SEX LIFE? 
MEN AND THEIR FAVORITE TOYS 


When we asked men which of their material possessions they 
most enjoyed owning, the response was unsurprising—sports 
cars and T Vs tied for first with 77 percent, In fact, all the top- 
rated toys involved cither cars or home entertainment: cars 
(the nonsports variety) came in third (70 percent, followed by 
camcorders (68 percent), VCRs (63 percent), home comput- 
HOW SATISFIED DO YOU THINK YOUR PARTNER IS WITH ers and CD players (both 61 percent) and, last but not least, 
HIS/HER SEX LIFE? video games (49 percent). 


very satisfied 
fairly satisfied 
fairly unsatisfied 
very unsatisfied 


yery satisfied WHEN MEN SHOP, THEY LIKE TO BUY... 
fairly satisfied 
fairly unsatisfied 


5 automobiles 
very unsatisfied 


rtswear or casual clothes 
HOW TRUTHFUL ARE YOU ABOUT YOUR 
SEXUAL HISTORY? 


always truthful 
sometimes less than truthful home furnishin 
won't say Е 


| formal clothes 3696 28% 


IATEVER HAPPENED TO SA! DAY NIGHT: 


How do you spend your Saturday night? If you're anything like the people we surveyed, you're dull. Yes, “date” night has 
become "let's stay home and watch TV” night. Of course, while younger men—those 18 to 29—are most likely to go out on the 
town, 44 percent of them stay home, and most of those do what everyone does—zone out in front of the TV. 


stay home 
watch prime-ti 
stay up past mi 
go to bed ear 
clean house 
dine out 


Mantrack survey source: Roper Report 


36 


GUEST OPINION 


the return of carry nation 


I am a pornographer. From earliest childhood, I saw sex 
sulfusing the world. I felt the rhythms of nature and the ag- 
gressive energies of animal life. Art objects, in both museum 
and church, seemed to blaze with sensual beauty. The author- 
ity figures of church, school and family denied or suppressed 
what I saw, but like Madonna, I kept to my pagan vision. I be- 
long to the Sixties generation that tried and failed to shatter 
all sexual norms and taboos. In my book Sexual Personae 1 т- 
jected lewdness, voyeurism, homoeroticism and sadomaso- 
chism into the entire Western high-art tradition. 

Because 1 am a pornographer, 1 am at war with Catha- 
rine MacKinnon and Andrea Dworkin. These obsessed, 
moralistic women, feminism’s 
oddest odd couple, are Carry 
Nation reborn. They were co- 
authors of the Minneapolis and 
Indianapolis ordinances against 
pornography that were declared 
unconstitutional. They have pro- 
duced, individually and in collab- 
oration, an enormous amount of 
aterial ranging from tortured 
autobiographical confessions 10 
legal case histories and academic 
iques. 

MacKinnon was among the 
first to argue for the. establish- 
ment of sexual harassment as a 
legal category. But her positive 
contributions to women's issues 
must be weighed against the re- 
spon: she bears for foment- 
ing the crazed sexual hysteria 
that now grips American femi- 
nism. Date rape has swelled intoa 
catastrophic cosmic event, like ar 
asteroid threatening the earth in 
a Fifties science-ficuon film. Anita 
Hill, а competent but priggish, 
self-interested yuppie, has been 
canonized as à virgin martyr ги- 
‚cd by the depraved emperor— 
who never laid a hand оп В 

MacKinnon а totalitarian. 
She wants a risk-free, state-con- 


constructing ad hoc arguments from expedience for specific 
political aims. But her knowledge of intellectual or world his- 
tory is limited, and as a researcher she has remarkably poor 
idgment in evaluating sources. She wildly overpraises weak 
feminist writers and has no feeling whatever for psycholo- 
gy, a defect that makes her conclusions about sex ridiculous 
She is a Stalinist who believes that art must serve a politica 
agenda and that all opposing voices are enemies of human- 
ity who must be silenced. MacKinnon and Dworkin are fanat- 
ics, zealots, fundamentalists of the new feminist religion. 
Their alliance with the reactionary, antiporn far right 
cidence. 


En 


MacKinnon 
who painstakingly builds huge, 
rigid structures of words in com- 
plete obliviousness to the organic, 
sensual and visual. She is a 20th 
Century puritan whose upbring- 
ing—a stern Minnesota judge 
as father, Episcopalian and 
conservative Republican—sccms 
straight out of Hawthorne. Mac 
Kinnow's pinched, cramped, 
body-denying Protestant culture 
made her peculiarly susceptible 
to Andrea Dworkin, whose let-it- 
all-hang-out ethnicity was initially 
liberating. MacKinnon's stolid 
lack of psychology drew her to 
Dworkin's boiling emotionalism 
and self-analytic, sclr-lacerating 
Jewishness. In return 
non, the third-generation Smith 
College WASP inside 
Dworkin's longings for establish- 
ment acceptance, а nagging 
theme in her writing. 

Dworkin, like Kate Millett, has 
turned a garish history of mental 


instability into feminist grand 
opera. Dworkin publicly boasts of 
her bizarre multiple rapes, as- 


saults, beatings, breakdowns and 
tacky traumas, as if her inability 
to cope with life were the patri 


trolled world. She believes rules BY CAMILLE PAGLIA archy's fault rather than her own 
and regul i every She pretends to be a daring truth 
human ill and straighten out all those irksome problems be- teller but never mentions her most obvious problem: food 
tween the sexes that have been going on for 5000 y Asa Hence she isa hypocrite. Dworkin’s shrill, kvelching, solipsistic 


lawyer, MacKinnon is deft and pragmatic. But as a political 
thinker, cultural historian or commentator on sex, she is in- 
competent. For a woman of her obvious intelligence, her 
frame of reference is shockingly small. She has the dull in- 
stinets and tastes of a bureaucrat. It's all work and no play in 
MacKinnon Land. 1, music, film, television 
nothing intrudes on MacKinnon's consciousness unless it ha 
been filtered through feminism, which has taught hei 
likes to say, “everything I know.” There's the rub, She is some 
one who, because of her own private emotional turmoil 
locked on to Seventies-era feminism and never let go. 
MacKinnon has a cold, inflexible and fundamentally un- 
scholarly mind. She is a propagandist and casuist, good at 


she 


Camille Paglia is professor of humanities al the University of the 
Arts in Philadelphia. She is the author of “Sexual Personae” and a 
new collection of essays, "Sex, Art and American Culture” (Vintage), 


prose has a sloppy, squalling infantilism. This attracted Mac 
Kinnon, with her dour background of Protestant high seri- 
ousness, which treats children like miniature adults. MacKin- 
non's impersonal prose is dry, bleached, parched. Her hered- 
itary north-countyy, anal-retentive style, stingy and nitpickin, 
was counterbalanced by Dworkin's raging undifferentiated 
orality, her buckets of chicken soup spiked with spite 
Dworkin, wallowing in misery, is a “type” that I recognize 
after 22 years of teaching. 1 call her The Girl with the Eternal 
Cold. This was the pudgy, clumsy, whiny child at summer 
camp who was always spilling her milk, dropping her lollipop 
n the dirt, getting a cramp on the hike, a stone in her shoe, a 
bee in her hair In college, this type—pasty, bilious and 
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sneezes on everyone, is never prepared with tissue and sits 
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the ultimate teacher's pest, the morose, unlovable child who 


PLAYBOY 


38 


never got her mama's approval and 
theretore demands attention at any 
price. Dworkin seized on feminism as a 
mask to conceal her bitterness at Uns 
tedious, banal family drama. 

MacKinnon and Dworkin have be- 
come a pop duo, like Mutt and Jett, 
Steve and Eydie, Ron and Nancy. Mac- 
Kinnon, starved and weather-beaten, is 
a fierce gargoyle of American Gothic 
With her witchy tumbleweed hair, she 
resembles the batty, gritty pioneer wom- 
an played by Agnes Moorehead on The 
Twilight Zone. Or she's Nurse Diesel, the 
preachy secret sadist in Mel Brooks's 
High Anxiety. 

Dworkin is Pee-wee Herman's Large 
Mange, the demon trucker who keeps 
turning to the 
scene of her fatal 
accident. I see Mac- 
Kinnon and Dwor- 
kin making a female 
buddy picture like 
Thelma & Louise 
Their character 
Penny Wise and 
Pound Foolish, the 
puritan Gibson Girl 
and her fuming dy! 
buk, ще glutton 
for punishment. Or 


nography 1s sex discrimination,” they 
declared in their Minneapolis ordi- 
nance. In a manifesto, they call pornog- 
raphy "hate literature.” “Most women 
hate pornography; all pornography 
hates women.” MacKinnon and Dwor- 
kin display an astounding ignorance of 
the ancient, sacred pornographic tradi- 
tion of non-Western societies, as well as 
that of our own gay male culture. Dwor- 
Кіт blanket condemnation of fellatio as 
disgusting and violent should make ev- 
ery man furious. 
MacKinnon and Dworl 

mongers, ambulance chasers, a 
addicts, MacKinnon begins every 

ment from big, flawed prem 
“male supremacy” or “misogyny,” 


while 


In this mechanized technological 
world of steel and glass, the fires of sex 
have to be stoked. This is why pornogr: 
phy must continue to play a central role 
in our cultural life. 

Pornography is a pagan arena of 
beauty, vitality and brutality, of the ar- 
chaic vigor of nature. It should break 
every rule, offend all morality. Pornogra 
phy represents absolute freedom of 
Imagination, as envisioned by the Ro- 
mantic poets. In arguing that а hypo- 
thetical physical safety on the streets 
should take precedence over the dem- 
ocratic principle of free speech, MacKin- 
non aligns herself with the authoritarian 
Soviet commissars. She would loboto- 
mize the village in order to save it. 

An — enlightened 
feminism of the 21st 
Century will em- 
brace all sexuality 
and will turn. away 
from the delusion- 
alism, — sanctimony, 
prudery and male 
bashing of the Mac- 
Kinnon-Dworkin 
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never know who 
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MacKinnon and 


Dworkin detest por- 
nography because 
it symbolizes every- 
thing they don’t un- 
derstand and cant 
control about their 
own bodies ent 
feminism, with из 
antiscience and social constructionist 
bias, never thinks about nature. Hence it 
cannot deal with sex, which begins in the 
body and is energized by instinctual 
drives. MacKinnon and Dworkin's basic 
error is in identifying pornography with 
society, which they then simplistically 
define as patriarchal and oppressive. In 
fact, pornography, which erupts into the 
open in periods of personal freedom, 
shows the dark truth about nature, con- 
cealed by the artifices of civilization. 
Pornography is about lust, our animal 
ality that will never be fully tamed by 
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Dworkin spouts glib Auschwitz meta- 
phors at the drop of a bra. Here’s one 
of their typical maxims: “The pornogra 
phers rank with Nazis and Klansmen i 
promoting hatred and violence." Any- 
one who could write such a sentence 
knows nothing about pornography or 
Nazism. Pornography does not cause 
rape or violence, which predate pornog- 
raphy by thousands of years. Rape and 
violence occur not because of pa 
conditioning but because of the орро- 
site, a breakdown of social. controls. 
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depressives, rape 
victims and incest 
survivors. Feminism 
has become a catch- 
all vegetable drawer 
where bunches of 
clingy sob sisters can 
store their moldy 
neuroses. 

Pornography lets 
the body live in pa- 
gan glory, the lush 
disorderly fullness of 
the flesh. When it 
defines man as the enemy, feminism is 
alienating women from their own bod- 
ies. MacKinnon never deals with woman 
as mother, lover or whore. Snuff films 
are her puritan hallucinations of hellfire. 
She traffies in tales of terror, hysterical 
fantasies of death and dismemberment, 
which show that she does not under- 
stand the great god Dionysus, with his 
terrible duality. The demons are within 
us. MacKinnon and Dworkin, peddling 
their diseased rhetoric, are in denial, 
and what they are blocking is life itself, 
all its grandeur and messiness. 
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МЕМ 


he odds are that 1992 will be the 
Year of the Woman in national 
politics. The powerful cultural revolu- 
tion that we have lived through for the 
past several decades will finally show its 
effects at the ballot bo: 

A little over seven years from now, 
ready or not, we will enter the 21st Cen- 
tury. I predict that, by that time, Am 
can women will hold national and local 
offices in more representative numbers. 
Both houses of Congress will be more 
equally balanced between the sexes. 

Female fund-raising is already т 
place. Organizations such as Women's 
Way, the Women's Campaign Fund, the 
National Women's Political Caucus and 
the National Organization for Women 
are conducting vigorous and profession- 
al campaigns. Emily's List, a fund-r 
ing group. reports that donations f 
female Democratic candidates have dou- 
bled since 1990. Wish List, a similar or- 
om of Republican women, is 
so doing well. 

Due credit must be given to the Senate 

hearings of Justice Clarence Thomas as a 
catalyzing force for women's increased 
political action. Whether you sided with 
“Thomas or Anita Hill, the image of 14 
men passing judgment on the delicate 
question of sexual harassment was not a 
fitting one. Democracy's public face is 
supposed to be more diverse than that 

‘Therefore, a question occurs: р 
should we vote for women just because 
they are women and because we want to 
even up the numbers in the spirit of 
democratic fairness? 
har sounds like a simple question, 
but it is not. Because these с n auto- 
matic vote for any group is foolish. We 
should listen and read and think before 
we walk into the voting booth. That is 
our duty as citizens. 

"Female elected officials are more 1 
ly than their male counterparts to focus 
on women's rights,” says New York Times 
columnist Anna Quindlen, and 1 do not 
contest her statement. But as men, our 
interests may not always be served by the 
feminist focus that Quindlen describes. 

Issues such as sexual harassment, date 
rape, abortion, divorce and child cus- 
tody, affirmative action, health care, cen- 
sorship and First Amendment questions, 
retirement programs and military obli- 
gations sometimes differ between the 
genders. We should recognize that our 
political interests are not always identical 


By ASA BABER 


THE YEAR OF 
THE WOMAN? 


to the interests of the feminist lobby. 

What bothers me are the increasing 
claims of female superiority that have 
popped up on the political landscape 
this year. There is something grandiose 
and ominous her 

“Мей make better decisions [than 
men],” says Harriet Woods of the Na- 
tional Women’s Political Caucus. 

"The most sympathetic and sensitive 
of our men friends, no matter how hard 
they try, cannot hear with a woman's ear 
or process information through a wom- 


ams experience,” says Governor Ann 
Richards of Texas 
And Illinois senatorial candidate Carol 


Moseley Braun, who has certainly en- 
dured unfair and prejudicial judgments 
from certain segments of society, seems 
to entertain her own biases when she 
complains of U.S. Senators as “all these 
men who all look the same, out of a 
cookie сш 

Yeah, that's us guys, isn't it? We make 
lousy decisions, we lack a woman's sym- 
pathetic car and we all look the same. 

What I'm saying now in the Year of 
the Woman is what I've been saying for 
more than ten y There are excesses lo 
the feminist agenda, and, as men, we had bet- 
ter learn to spot them and deal with them. 

І happen to believe that men and 
women are, for the most part, fair-mind- 


ed human beings. Here in the U.S., we 
have been raised with a sense of decency 
and equality. And we really are ready, as 
people of good conscience, to vote more 
women and more minorities into office. 
But don't vote blindly in 1992. Re- 
member, men are the political minority 
now. We constitute 48 percent. of the 
adult voting population. We have our 
own political agenda to promote. We 
need better protection in the divorce 
and child-custody system if fathers are to 
receive treatment. We need more re- 
search into male health and longevity. 
We need reasonable definitions of sexual 
harassment in the workplace. And we 
need to speak our minds in the continu- 
ing cultural debate about the roles and 
ghts of men and women. 
What concerns me most in the Year of 
the Woman is the potential power and 
impact of radical feminists on various fe- 
male candidates. That branch of femi- 
nism is definitely antimale, and we had 
better be aware of its influence. 
Speaking to a crowd of about 1000 
people at the 92nd Street Y in New York 
City this past Mother's Day, I began my 
remarks by suggesting that Mother's 
Day was always a special day in our cul- 
ture, a day when the telephone сотра- 
nies had to beef up their capabilities and 
when something like 101,000,000 phone 
calls would be made 
Nothing like u 
Е ще 


would happen оп 
nd, I added seri- 


I did not understand the laughter at 
first. But then I got it. To them, my ques- 
tion about Father's Day was foolish. ОГ 
course Father's Day did not deserve to 
be honored in their opinion. Because, by 
definition, fathers are lousy guys 

1 wondered then and I wonder now: 
How many people in that influential au- 
dience have particular access to Ше 
women candidates of 1992? 

Let the word go forth, men; This fall, 
let us vote with fairness toward all, but 
with naiveté toward none. There should 
be more women in office. But let us elect 
women who like us and honor us and 
will represent us equitab 


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WOMEN 


I m still trying to figure out why men 
are in such trouble. 

Oh, come on, you know you are. 
You're bewildered, insecure and terribly 
nervous. You're confused about how to 
act with women, as well as about how to 
relate to the entire world. You've been 
buffeted by social and sexual conflicts 
and have lost your inner equilibrium. 

I see you on talk shows attempting to 
explain yourselves to audiences of sneer- 
ing women. I see you pouring into 12- 
step meetings, where you try to cry in 
front of people. But worst of all, Гт 
starting to see you at bookstores furtive- 
ly buying self-help book 

The buying of a self-help book is the 
most desperate of all human acts. It 
means you've lost your mind completely: 
You've entrusted your mental health to a 
self-aggrandizing twit with a psychology 
degree and a yen for a yacht. It means 
you're haying a major identity crisis. 

Women did this a while ago, when our 
sex was having an identity crisis that last- 
ed for, oh, а decade. We didn't know who 
we were supposed to be, so we mainlined 
annoying tomes like Women Who Love Too 
Much. But then along came Anita Hill 
She was the ignition that switched on 
every woman's brain. Before Anita, we 
were all whining, “What’s wrong with 
me? Where can I find a book to fix me?” 
After Anita, we all decided, “Wait a 
minute! It isn't me after all. Women are 
still being fucked over in our society 

We're feeling much better now, thank 
you. But men are feeling worse. You've 
been through a lot of identity battering 
in the past 20 years. 

With feminism, you had to unlearn ev- 
erything you were ever taught about 
women. You thought you were supposed 
to grow up, get married and immediate- 
ly become the captain of the ship, the 
breadwinner. All that responsibility was 
scary, but a man had to do what a man 
had to do. 

Then you were told that was all wrong 
and how dare you? It was time to give up 
half your power to women, or else. 

Some of you became recalcitrant pigs, 
but many of you tried. You tried to be 
sensitive, you tried to learn the new lan- 
guage of women, you tried to abdicate 
your heavy mantle of responsibility. You 
tried to treat women as equi 

Then you were told that that was all 
wrong, and how come you were all such 
wimps? What woman wanted a man she 


By CYNTHIA HEIMEL 


WHAT'S A 
GUY TO DO? 


could walk all over? 

So then youall bought motorcycle jack- 
etsand grew little ponytails and sported a 
three-day growth of beard and tried to be 
neo-tough. The message was "No broad 
better push me around, and if she does, 
well, I'll be sensitive and caring.” 

That didn’t work because women were 
going through their aforementioned 
crises around then and nothing you did 
pleased us. Nothing. 

Then along came Robert Bly and the 
men’s movement, and suddenly many of 
you found yourselves spending nights in 
the woods, sweating and beating drums. 
Or at least reading about it. 

But that felt just too goofy, and you 
had bigger problems. The economy 
plunged disastrously and many people 
lost jobs. Maybe not you. But maybe you 
soon. Plus, women were charging men 
with sexual harassment and date rape. 
Maybe not you. But maybe you s 

At this point in history, does it feel like 
you can't do anything right? 

It's ume to realize that there's nothing 
wrong with you. Well, there's plenty 
wrong with some of you. Men who abuse 
women, men who take the anger in their 


souls out on women, men who think of 


women as sex objects to be used and dis- 
carded should not even be called men. 
But most of you are well-meaning, 


though hopelessly befuddled. 

So you're buying self-help books, 
you're blaming yourselves for your own 
unhappiness, you think you have a fatal 
flaw that reading some book will put 
right. But it’s not you. Society is fucking 
you over. Society has taken away all pos- 
sible role models 

The last role model you had 
breadwinner, captain of the family. You 
could go ahead and become that, or you 
could become some kind of James Dean/ 
Jack Nicholson guy and rebel against ev- 
erything and run away. Both choices gave 
you a built-in structure in your attitudes 
toward women: You were either totally 
responsible or totally irresponsible. Both 
choices were sanctioned by society 

Now these choices have been system- 

atically destroyed and replaced with 
nothing. There's nothing you're sup- 
posed to be, there's nothing to rebel 
against being. 
You're мо in a void, without 
entity, and the only messages you re- 
ceive are negative: Don't be a pig. don't 
bea wimp. 

Many of you have taken refuge in ca- 
reers, defining yourselves solely by your 
jobs. That doesn’t work anymore. You're 
having heart attacks, you're getting fired. 

OK, Гм not a man. But I have been 
through a period of my life in which I 
either had to reinvent or kill myself. And 
1 say ime for a masculine revolution. 

This means you have to stop listening 
to just anybody. Stop listening to a soci- 
ety that tells you you're powerful, when, 
a couple of rich guys control ev- 
ш. Stop listening to beer commer- 
ls that instruct you to be a moron. 
Stop listening to women who don't know 
what the hell they want but want you 
to give it to them anyway. Follow your 
instincts. Figure out what's important 
to you. 

Maybe you could reinvent the concept 
of fatherhood. Everybody seems to be 
decrying the lack of fathers, but nobody 
seems 10 know what fathers аге sup- 
posed to do. Maybe you can drop ıhat 
heavy cloak of “manliness” that keeps 
you acting silent and strong when you 
want to be gossipy and playful 

Oh, don't listen to me, either. Just 
make it up as you go along, Just Stop 
moping before we all go insane. 


as 


4l 


Catty Sark terco база Whisky. 40% Alc by Vol. Imporedby ЄМ А Taylor &Со „Мати. Finca 1991. 


% 


QS 
a 


Some people wear trendy clothes 
to attract attention. Others drive flashy cars. 
a  Aglass of Cutty Sark won't turn any heads. 
But if you insist on creating a stir, 
3 you can always ask the bartender 
© 5 А for one of these. 


а 


Е 


SCOTS WHISKY 


THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR 


Зее an argument: What is multiple 
orgasm? My friend says his wife has four 
or five orgasms every time they have sex. 
I suspect she has one orgasm with four 
or five peaks. Who's right?—K. R., Valle- 
jo. California. 

Who cares? He's obviously doing something 
right. In both men and women, orgasm con- 
sists of a series of three to ten muscle contrac- 
lions that occur less than one second apart. All 
these contractions, or peaks, make one orgasm. 
The small proportion of women capable of 
multiple orgasm have one series of orgasmic 
muscle contractions, and then with continued 
stimulation, a short time later they can experi- 
ence another series. Of course, there's another 
definition of multiple orgasm that defies phys- 
iology—it's the orgasm you have once and re- 
member repeatedly the rest of your life. 


Е feel at a real disadvantage when 1 
negotiate for a new car. How can I find 
out the dealer's cost of the car and its 
accessories, so I can bargain from a 
stronger position?—A. K., Baton Rouge, 
Louisiana. 

Ta negotiate effectively for a new or a used 
саз, you need lo know what that new car (and 
its accessories, shipping, etc.) actually сом the 
dealer and the current market value of the 
used var, Fortunately, there are a number of 
information sources available. Edmund Pub- 
lications Corp., 200 Baker Avenue, Concord, 
Massachusetts 01742, publishes one of the 
best series. They're found on most large news- 
stands and bookstores, or call 800-394-1545. 
Edmund's price guides are just $4.95; there 
are separate guides for American and import- 
ed cars, both new and used vehicles, as well as 
a guide for vans, pickups and sports utilities. 
ising an Edmund's guide, find the make and 
model you want, and then total the base (deal- 
er wholesale) сом of the car, along with each of 
its accessories. Ве sure to add the transporta- 
tion cost, state or local taxes as applicable and 
the dealer advertising surcharge (this usually 
amounts to about 1-1% percent of the suggest- 
ed list price). Now you know exactly what the 
car cost the dealer. Unless a car is a particu- 
larly hot number, dealers are usually willing to 
discount them substantially. Offer the sales- 
person a fair profit—usually 5250-5500 
over lus cost. If i's toward the end of the mod- 
el year and the car you want is already on the 
dealer's lot, it may be covered by manufactur- 
er-vebate programs thal reduce the cost to the 
dealer With the cost information at your 
fingertips, you сап drive а hard bargain— 
and regardless of rebate programs, you'll 
know you bought the car as inexpensively as 


possible. 


When my husband and I make love, 1 
prefer to climax first, which is fine with 
him. If he happens to come first, he 


brings me off afterward, but I end up 
feeling like something has been lost, 
though I’m not sure what. Am | being 
selfish wanting to come first all the 
time?—S. S., Melbourne, Florida 

Not at all. And you're nol alone. A recent 
survey of 709 women published in the Jour- 
nal of Sex and Marital Therapy gives new 
meaning lo “ladies first.” It showed that these 
who reached orgasm before their lovers gener- 
ally enjayed sex more than these who came aft- 
er them. The women who were first to come 
were more than twice as likely to rate their love 
lives very satisfying. PS.: Women who di- 
maxed at the same time as their lovers had a 
rate of sexual satisfaction similar to those who 
came first. But the researchers warn that pre- 
occupation with simultaneous orgasm often 
takes the fun out of sex. They advise serial cli- 
maxing with the woman first. 


MI, wife tells me her sister cant stand 
the teddies her husband buys hei 
They're uncomfortable and make he 
My wife says her brother- 
law doesnt know shit about lingei 
ats to know? I was going to get my 
a sexy outfit, but now I'm paranoid. 
I thought women liked lingerie. Don't 
theyz—E Т. Austin, Texas. 

In the abstract, yes. But when they open the 
box, they're often disappointed, cuen offended. 
Just because an йет of lingerie looks sexy to 
"you doesn't mean it's going lo make а woman 
feel sexy—and from a woman's point of view, 
feeling sexy is what intimate apparel is all 
about. Our favorite lingerie saleslady says 
more women return teddies than any other 
ilem. They don't flatier most women's figures, 
and quite often they've made of rough materi- 
al thal irritates their most sensitive places. 


ILLUSTRATION BY PATER SATO 


Lingerie, she says. should not simply reveal a 
woman's charms, but rather accent the ones 
she considers her finest: “Know your woman. 
Often, a man gets turned on by part of a wom- 
ан body thal she's not particularly proud of. 
You might like it highlighted, but she doesn't.” 
Garter-and-stocking sets may be the thing for 
а woman with long legs who enjoys wearing 
short skirts. But they wouldn't do much for a 
woman who feels self-conscious about her 
thighs. One good way to learn how your lover 
feels about the various parts of her body is to 
go lingerie shopping together. Many stores 
have dressing rooms large enough for two. 
But if you insist on surprising her, here are a 
few suggestions. The softer, the better: Never 
buy rough fabrics. When in doubt, get silk. 
Buy loose-filting garments like lace mighi- 
gowns, nol body-hugging items like half-cup 
bras. The lighter the piece, the more important 
it is for the woman to be fitted al the store. А 
lacy robe or nightgown can make a woman 
feel very alluring. And flowing fabric allows 
her to accent and reveal whatever makes her 
feel sexiest. 


А. a recent dinner, a friend poured а 
wine called ТВА that he'd brought back 


from С ious and hon- 
eyed acid balance that 
cut the natural sweeuness, Tell what 


was | drinking?—| 
York. 

You have nice friends. What you were tast- 
ing is one of the great dessert wines of the 
world—Trockenbeerenauslese—or TBA for 
short. The clumsy name aptly describes this 
product. Trocken is German for dried or 
raisined, beeren means individual grapes and 
auslese means selected. So Trochenbeeren- 
auslese is a wine made from specially selected 
grapes left on the vine until shriveled or vir- 
dually dry, then picked with a needle or pair of 
liny scissors. As the grapes dry, both sweetness 
and acid become concentrated, yielding a wine 
that is exquisite. TBAs are presented at the 
end of a meal, with ov after dessert, or at spe- 
cial occasions or celebrations, 


G., New York, New 


N wife doesn't reach for 
my penis soon enough. I like being ca- 
ressed all over, but I wish she'd massage 
the rest of me with one hand while keep- 
ing the other between my legs. I've 

opped many hints, but she hasn't 
ed up on them. Help!—B. Н., 
Muncie, Indiana, 

It’s clearly time to move past hinting. Tell 
her exactly what you've told us, and the next 
time you make love, present your penis to her 
and say, “Here. Pretend this is a leash.” At the 
same time, ask when she'd like you lo start 
fondling her intimate areas. Some women pre- 
fer not to have their most sensitive areas ca- 
ressed right away, and they кат from 


43 


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PLAYBOY 


46 


penile fondling as а hint that theyd like 
you to do the same. Ask. 


И know that long-play vinyl albums are 
out of style, but a friend told me that the 
record companies aren't even producing 
them now. Is d t There are still 
plenty of turntable owners 
R. LL, Arlington, Vir 

Music companies haven't abandoned the 
LP yet, but they recognize the death throes. 
Whether by lack of demand or lack of supply, 
LP sales dropped nearly 60 percent last year, 
lo just 5,000,000 (music videos outsold LPs 
by 1,000,000 copies). A few rock and pop al- 
bums still are released on vinyl, but for the 
most part, classical, jazz and country ате now 
slave to cassettes and compact discs. Orga- 
nized vinyl fans complain that music compa- 
nies abandoned the format only because they 
make more money selling $15 CDs; the com- 
panies, of course, say that they're playing the 
free market, Whatever the case, store owners 
who dont have the space or patience lo handle 
three formats can hardly be blamed for drop- 
ping the bulkiest one. And as fewer turntables 
are made, the costs of replacing styluses and 
other parts likely will skyrocket—a develop- 
ment certain nol to spark any vinyl revivals. 
Not that we're waiting for one. Traditionalists 
who argue that LPs deliver the best sound 
should listen again 10 whal even the tiniest 
scratches do to "The White Album." 


Bcc women always most interested in 
sex right after their period? My former 
girlfriend said many women feel that 
way, and Гуе seen a few news Е 
des to that effect. But ту new girlfriend 
scoffs, saying she's equally arousable all 
month long. What gives?—N. N., New 
York, New York. 

The 64 studies (that’s right, 64 studies) that 
have researched this question have produced 
highly contradictory results. Some say women’s 
greatest desire occurs in mid-menstrual cycle 
around ovulation. Others say it's shortly be- 
fore menstruation, Several say shorily afler- 
ward. And some show no differences. Recent- 
ly, two researchers in Australia published the 
largest and most sophisticated report on this is- 
sue т the Archives of Sexual Behavior 
and concluded that most women are like your 
new girlfriend —equally arousable all month 
Jong. Just so you know how much fun these 
studies are, here's whai they did. During one 
menstrual cycle, the researchers. periodically 
surveyed 183 college women's subjective feel- 
ings of arousal after hearing sexual fantasies 
and viewing erotic films. Then, using a tiny 
sensor placed inside their subjects’ vagina 
they recorded how long it took them to experi- 
ence vaginal engorgement (increased blood 
flow into the vaginal wall), which is a key 
physiological sign of arousal, The result? No 
delectable menstrually related differences. The 
women's responses remained. “stable during 
all phases of their cycles.” Were not saying 


your ex was imagining anything. Bul this 
study makes women seem more like men— 
arousable at any time. 


Business requires that 1 travel con- 
stantly. As a result I have built up quite a 
number of frequent-flier miles. Now for 
my dilemma—is it better to cash in 
coupons fi 
those discount ticketsz—R. P, St. Loui 
Missouri. 

You should treat your frequent-flier miles as 
you would any investment. Unfortunately, not 
all programs are created equal. Stan Dale, 
publisher of “Mileage & Points” newsletter, 
calculates the dollar value of the average free- 
travel award. For example, according to Dale, 
а 1000-nile award on American might be 
worth $20.28, on Delta $40.55, on United 
$19.52, on TWA $34.12 and on Northwest 
$35.63. Say you want to fly from New York to 
Honolulu. You would multiply Dale's value 
index times the number of miles you need to 
cash in for the award; then compare that 
figure to the best discount ticket available. (A 
‘one-year subscription to “Mileage & Points" 
costs $17.95, from М & P Communications, 
12629 North Tatum, Suite 488, Phoenix, 
Arizona 85032, 602-953-9237.) You could 
also figure it’s all funny money and follow 
your impulse. 


WI, new girlfriend says 1 don't have as 
much pre-come as her former husband. 
nocent comment, but it bot 
ers me. No other woman has ever men- 
tioned this. It’s not like Гуе got a dry 
dick. 1 produce enough to get the head 
of my penis slick. Should I produce 
more? How? Whats norma 
Charlotte, North Carolina. 
You can't change the amount of pre-ejacu- 
latory fluid you produce, bul the normal range 
is quile large, according to June M. Reinisch, 
author of The Kinsey Institute New Re- 
port on Sex. Approximately 30 percent of 
men don't produce any pre-ejaculatory fluid at 
all. Another 25 percent release just one drop, 
ten percent two drops, and the rest a bit more. 
In other words, ИЗ as normal to have no pre- 
ejaculatory fluid as И is to have a good deal. 
The slick secretion is produced in the Cowper's 
glands, two little pea-sized structures near the 
prostate. If и doesn't leave the penis before 
ejaculation, it mixes with semen and emerges 
when you come. Pre-ejaculatory fluid provides 
some lubrication, but it’s not necessary, A ful- 
Ly aroused woman produces all the lubrication 
necessary for mutually enjoyable intercourse. 
If you'd like extra lubrication, try saliva or a 
sexual lubricant—for example, Astroglide. 


{twas ani 


Can you help me design a home-video 
center? In looking at different TVs and 
VCRs, I wonder if I need st both 
to get the best sound. Could Г buy a 
stereo TV and a regular VCR? Or do 
both need to be stereo for the best 


га free ticket or buy one of 


: T., San Francisco, California. 

Much depends on the television you're after. 
If you're buying a television with a screen 
smaller than 30 inches, the stereo speakers are 
usually too close together and nol designed to 
provide quality sound and stereo separation. 
(With larger-screen TVs, stereo comes stand- 
and.) Whatever television you choose, get a 
high-fidelity stereo VCR. Connect your VC 
audio cables to your hi-fi stereo through the 
stereos auxiliary jack. Your room speakers 
then can be separated for optimum. sound. 
(The television show or video you're watching 
must be encoded in stereo, of course.) 


ММ, buddy says withdrawal is com- 
pletely ineffective for birth control. I say 
it’s better than nothing. What do you 
L. R., Wantagh, New York. 
Withdrawal, or removing the penis from 
the vagina before ejaculation, is considerably 
better than nothing. But we still wouldn't rec- 
ommend it. According to “Contraceptive Tech- 
nology,” the birth-control bible, 85 percent of 
couples who use no contraception at all can 
expect to get pregnant within one year. Among 
those who use withdrawal, 18 percent can ex- 
реа a pregnancy within one year. That makes 
withdrawal more effective than the contracep- 
tive sponge when used by women with children 
(28 percent annual pregnancy rate) and sper- 
micides used alone (21 percent). Withdrawal 
is about as effective as the diaphragm (18 per- 
cent), cervical cap (18 percent) and the 
sponge when used by women who have never 
had children (18 percent). Bul withdrawal is 
considerably less effective than condoms (12 
percent), the IUD (three percent), the pill 
(three percent) and implants (less than one 
percent). Withdrawal is available any time at 
no сом. The problem is that you have to pull 
out before you come; otherwise, you're looking 
at that 85 percent annual pregnancy risk. 
Even if you pull out in time every lime, pre- 
ejaculatory fluid can contain millions of 
sperm, so the woman can still get pregnant. 
Pre-ejaculatory fluid contains the most sperm 
shortly after a recent ejaculation, so if you 
make love twice in one day, you're more likely 
lo get her pregnant during the second go- 
round than the first. Obviously, for withdraw- 
al to work, a man needs good ejaculatory 
control. Bul for many men, anxiety interferes 
with control, including anxiety about pulling 
ош in time. One final word: Withdrawal 
does nothing to prevent sexually transmitted 
diseases 


say? 


АЙ reasonable questions—from fashion, 
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problems, taste and etiquette—will be person- 
ally answered if the writer includes a stamped, 
-addressed envelope. Send all letters to 
The Playboy Advisor, Playboy, 680 North 
Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, Illinois 60611 
The most provocative, pertinent queries 
will be presented on these pages cach month 


El 


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and he smells 


it's such a turn-off.” 


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SEX IN A BOX 


what we leave out when we look at sex 


Sociologist John Gagnon, who has 
studied sex for decades, told me a 
story about an unwed teenage moth- 
er. The girl lost her virginity and be- 
came pregnant because her boyfriend 
promised to buy her living-room fur- 
niture someday. What makes a young 
girl think that sex results in a sofa 
or a home in the suburbs instead of 
a baby? 

“We've put sex in a box,” said 

Gagnon. “A bedroom. One man. One 
woman. We've quantified it. We know 
how many times a week the average 
man or woman does it, how often 
they reach orgasm. The measurable 
But we've also cut off the roots. 
How did the man and woman 
get there? We've cut off sex 
from the outcome—what hap- 
pens next.” 

If sex is put in a box, I 
thought, it can seem to have 
magical qualities. Look at how 
our culture describes—or fails 
to describe—sex. Both conser- 
vatives and liberals keep sex in 
ideological containers, though 
with widely different effects. 
Conservatives want to keep sex 
ina box of silence called family 
values. They trumpet the neg- 
ative aspects of sex (abortion, 
teenage pregnancy, disease) 
without posting information 
on the walls ofthe box on how 
to prevent these consequences. 

Liberals keep sex in a box 
called privacy. They dress it up 
with permission: Sex is perfect- 
ly natural, go ahead and have 
it. Sex will take care of itself. 
Orgasm is its own reward. If it 
feels good, it is good. If it feels 
bad, you aren't doing it right. 

Both boxes are devoid of useful 
information. Each makes the other 
uncomfortable. Each holds sex to be 
sacred. 

Even the abortion debate almost 
never mentions sex. Pro-choice advo- 
cates describe abortion as the first line 
ofa résumé, a career decision, instead 


of describing it as the result of a rela- 
tionship. Planned Parenthood recent- 
ly brought demands for better birth 
control back into the debate, trying to 
reattach an outcome to what happens 
in that box called sex. 

‘Teenage pregnancy reminds Amer- 
icans that their children are sexually 
active. Conservatives haggle about 
the cost of the outcome (welfare) but 
never about the cost-effectiveness of 
sending better-educated children in- 
to the box, or of putting cartons of 
condoms within easy reach of the 
box. Instead, they offer: “Just say no.” 

Liberals say that welfare is the price 


society must pay for other people's 
outcomes—ensuring that their own 
box, privacy, is largely untouched. 
But kids invent their own myths. 
Gagnon traced the self-destructive 


By JAMES В. PETERSEN 


nature of young romance back to 
Romeo and Juliet and the notion that 
you can choose a partner on the basis 
of a hunch, a feeling, an orgasm— 
even when that impulse is in direct 
conflict with your community's expe- 
riences. The notion that two lovers 
can create a sustaining reality in that 
box, away from the eyes of their com- 
munity, is the great paradox of our 
view of sex. 

Gagnon and I discussed films and 
books. A Japanese classic called In the 
Realm of the Senses follows a couple ob- 
sessed with sex (most of the movie 
takes place in a single room). The 

couple ignore all family ties 
and devour each other—the 
relationship ends in madness 
and death. We discussed Vox, 
the best seller that listens in on 
an erotic phone call. A man 
and a woman talk about their 
sexual pasts, the roots of de- 
sire. They establish a connec- 
tion, a sense of what might 
happen if they ever found 
themselves in the same room. 

Gagnon contrasted a tech- 
nological culture, in which the 
reminders of desire come only 
in songs over the radio or 
through telephone calls, with a 
pedestrian culture. 

Think of the differences in 
the geography of desire be- 
tween a city designed for 
walking and one designed for 
driving. In the former, the 
landmarks of desire are every- 
where—beneath the bridge, 
on the balcony, around the 
well, in the market, at church. 

* Sexuality happens under the 
watchful eye of opinionated 
neighbors. Guidance takes the form 
of life stories. Sex is an integral part of 
life; it is everywhere present, loose on 
the land. In the latter city, desire 
hides in the backseat. 

Remember Pandora? Perhaps sex 
is only а problem because it did not 
escape the box. 


49 


PROOF POSITIVE 

Asa single guy with a healthy 
and varied sex life, I must ad- 
mit that Canada’s proposed 
new rape bill frightens me. It 
does not require the woman to 
say no but instead obligates the 
man to take “all reasonable 
steps” to ensure the woman 
says yes. The bill, drafted with 
the advice of about 60 feminist 
groups and no input from 
men’s groups, also says that if 
both my partner and I are in- 
toxicated when we have sex, 
the woman can claim she was 
too drunk or stoned to give 
consent. As a male, I am denied 
the defense of being too intoxi- 
cated to know she was not con- 
senting. Men in positions of 
authority have to be doubly 
careful since it appears that the 
bill does not require that a man 
actually coerce a woman into 
sex, only that the woman feel 
coerced. All men want to see 
those who assault women pun- 
ished, but feminists are using 
the law to criminalize all men. 
This bill has a sense of feminist 
revenge about it. United States 
law professor Catharine Mac- 
Kinnon advised Canada’s femi- 
nists on this bill, and Mac- 
Kinnon's position is that sexual 
relations between men and 
women are never consensual. 
The worst thing, though, is that 
the Canadian media have 
bought the feminist argument 
on this bill, to the point of call- 
ing it a no-means-no law. It 
isn't. This is a prove-she-said- 
yes law, and anyone who raises 
questions about it is dismissed as a male 
chauvinist pig. 


Barry Brown 

"Toronto, Ontario 

Enough questions were raised by the 
Canadian Bar Association about the bill to 
cause Justice Minister Kim Campbell to pro- 
pose some necessary amendments, Arguing 
that some of the bill's original provisions vi- 
olated the constitutional rights of the 
cused, Campbell proposed that (1) “ 
be dropped from the “reasonable steps” 
clause and (2) the clause referring to "inca- 
pacity due to intoxication” be changed to 
avoid any reference to intoxication, stating 
instead that no consent is obtained when a 
victim is incapable of giving consent. Femi- 


ШЕЛ 


What are the necessities of campus life in the 
Nineties? The University of Illinois health ser- 
vices center thinks it has the answer. Students 
may ask for the following: Cold package: three- 
day supply of decongestant, acetaminophen 
(pain reliever), a bottle of cough syrup, throat 
lozenges and a booklet on cold facts; two per 
month. Wound-care package: bandages, gauze, 
ointment and instruction book; one per month. 
Condom package: one tube of spermicidal jelly 
(optional) and 12 condoms; one per health-cen- 
ter site per month (there are two sites on cam- 
pus). By our figures, a student and his/her part- 
ner may each contribute 24 condoms per month 
to the relationship—or 1.6 safe-sex encounters 
per day. Our thought on the wound-care pack- 
age: It's a jungle out there. 


nists claim that Campbell's amendments 
reflect the wishes of Canada's predominantly 
male legal system. Justice Campbell claims 
she is simply upholding established constitu- 
tional rights. 


ENEMIES 

In “Behind Enemy Lines" (The 
Playboy Forum, July), Ted C. Fishman 
states that “pro-choice advocates use 
reason and compassion.” Yet, in an ear- 
lier paragraph, he states that “pro- 
choicers mixed into the picket line to 
mock the Baptists.” That's compassion- 
ate? 1 am a pro-life person, but I do not 
wave pictures of mutilated fetuses or lie 
down in abortion clinic driveways. We 


7 


are not all like Operation Res- 
Cue, but abortion is a lie thou- 
sands of hurting women have 
bought. 
P Curry 
Griffith, Indiana 
Behavior on the front line is al- 
ways more extreme, but on the or- 
ganizational level it seems obvious 
that pro-choice groups are more com- 
passionate and reasonable. The in- 
your-face tactics of anti-choice 
forces make the work of projects like 
‘Stand Up for Choice especially rele- 
vant. With the support of several 
philanthropic agencies (including 
The Playboy Foundation), Stand 
Up for Choice is documenting, with 
videotaped footage, clinic block- 
ades. It also provides patient escort 
training and information to the me- 
dia. We applaud its efforts to keep 
abortion legal, accessible and safe. 


Ted Fishman's article is right 
оп. I don't believe anyone likes 
the idea of abortion, but 1 also 
don't understand why anyone 
would prefer the government 
making that very personal deci- 
sion. Studies have shown that a 
high percentage of abusive par- 
ents were abused as children. If 
the pro-lifers focus their efforts 
on helping existing unwanted 
and abused children instead of 
bringing more unwanted chil- 
dren into this world, maybe a 
greater number of the children 
will grow up to be responsible, 
loving and caring adults. 

Jack Hailey 
Denver, Colorado 


1 am always appalled when I 
read accounts of Operation Rescue's 
tactics of fear and intimidation, as Ted 
Fishman reports in “Behind Enemy 
Lines.” As a man, I cannot speak from 
personal experience, but women have 
confided to me that they didn’t hap- 
hazardly exercise the choice to end 
their pregnancies. They faced serious 
decisions and sought the help of 
qualified doctors to have legal abor- 
tions. I might be more sympathetic 
with the pro-life ideology if, to every 
woman with an unplanned pregnancy, 
one person says, “I will adopt your ba- 
by." That ain't about to happen, Jack. 

Olin B. Jenkins 
Columbia, South Carolina 


К E 5 


The folks at Operation Rescue may 
think they represent the majority agen- 
da, but a recent poll shows just how far 
off they are. The results (roughly un- 
changed from a 1989 poll) show that 
58 percent of adults believe a woman 
should be allowed to have an abortion 
as long as a doctor agrees to do one. 
Sixteen percent would allow abortion 
in some circumstances. This indicates 
a 26 percent “majority” proselytizing 
for a Roe 15. Wade reversal. The Repub- 
lican Party understands the impact of 
these numbers on the upcoming elec- 
tion: They have cast themselves as the 
"big tent"—the political party with 
room for all choices. (How they can 
make that claim with a Republican 
President opposing abortion and abor- 
tion funding is beyond my comprehen- 
sion.) With the Democratic Party sup- 
porting abortion rights, the issue stands 
to carry a lot of weight in November. 
Let's see how much counterbalance the 
pro-life majority provides at the poll- 
ing place. 

Richard Carter 
New Bedford. Massachusetts 


AIDS EDUCATION 
James В. Petersen's article on Magic 
Johnson (Марс, The Playboy Forum, 
March) is an absolutely fabulous piece 
of work. I have just about had it with 
the flood of AIDS education programs 
that send my third grader home from 
school fearing he is at risk. My fifth 
grader wants to give a copy of the arti- 
cle to his teacher so she can be better 
informed. Your statement that “knowl- 
edge can help all of us beat back the 
fear, the overreaction" is wonderfully 
accurate. When my children know the 
facts, the flood of propaganda will not 
overwhelm them. It is about time 
someone put this whole scam to rest 
and allowed people to come to their 
senses. Thanks. 
Amy Thomas 
Rosewell, Georgia 


Since Magic Johnson's announce- 
ment of his HIV status, he has made 
good on his word to inform young 
adults about the realities and responsi- 
bilities of sex. His book What You Can 
Do to Avoid AIDS has received major en- 
dorsements and the overwhelming 
support of leading health experts and 
organizations. But Magic, it seems, has 
become a casualty of censorship. Call- 
ing the book inappropriate for some of 


P O 


М в E 


their customers, Kmart and Walgreens 
refuse to carry it (though Kmart's sub- 
sidiary Waldenbooks does). Magic says 
he wrote the book “so that kids will un- 
derstand that they don’t need to whis- 
per about this thing anymore.” Now if 
he could only get through to adults. 

Erin Bailey 

San Antonio, Texas 


MAD SCIENTISTS. 

Several months ago, ABC aired a 
news special on rape in the United 
States, followed by а group discussion 
among a panel of experts on the 
subject. At one point, a 
woman on the panel 
made the point that 
viewing pornography 
desensiizes men, that 
prolonged exposure 
negates a man's percep- 
tion of a woman's hu- 
manity, thus making him 
more violent and less 
likely to respect her right 
to choose her sexual 
partners, therehy mak- 
ing rape more likely. 
When a male panelist 
challenged this assertion, 
the woman stated that 
"all the studies" confirm 
this analysis. As an occa- 
sional consumer of eroti- 
ca, including videos, I 
find these statements 
difficult to believe. No 
matter how much sexual 
material I view, I am 
sure that I will never 
come to believe that rape 
is acceptable human be- 
havior. Admittedly, I try 
to avoid images of vio- 
lence against women be- 
cause I do not find them 
pleasurable. Rarely have 
I found the packaging of 
Magazines and tapes 
misleading on that score. 
Blaming deviant behav- 
ior on erotica reverses 
the cart and the horse. 
To seek out such materi- 
al, would 1 not have to be 
inclined to violent be- 
havior to begin with? 
Only a few years ago, the 
scientific literature was 
far from definitive on 
this subject. 15 it possible 


that there have been so many new 
studies as to make scientific opinion 
nearly unanimous on this heretofore 
controversial subject? Or is it that we 
have somehow changed the definition 
of pornography to mean only imagery 
of a violent nature? 
Michael Searles 
Brooklyn, New York 
It's the reactionaries’ shell game. Scien- 
tists still don’t draw any conclusions about 
the sociological effects of pornography, but 
research thus far has shown overuhelmingly 
that there is no connection between exposure 
to pornography and deviant behavior. 


The Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington. D.C... 
was dedicated a decade ago as a tribute to the sol- 
diers who died in a war no one wanted to claim. The 
Memorial's tenth anniversary culminates in Novem- 
ber with a weeklong series of events that celebrate 
the wall as a symbol of remembrance and reconcili- 
ation. For more information on the anniversary cele- 
bration, contact the Vietnam Veterans Memorial 
Fund, Inc., at 202-393-0090. As a continuing service 
to veterans, the National Veterans Legal Services 
Project provides support to veterans seeking gov- 
emment benefits and compensation. For informa- 
tion, contact the NVLSP at 202-265-8305. 


51 


52 


"The First Amendment's religion clauses 
mean that religious beliefs and religious ex- 
pression are too precious to be either pro- 
scribed or prescribed by the state. The design 
of the Constitution is that preservation and 
transmission of religious beliefs and worship 
is a responsibility and а choice committed to 
the private sphere. . . . [Of concern are] 
school officials, whose effort to monitor 
prayer will be perceived by the stu- 
dents as inducing а participation 
they might otherwise reject.” 

—SUPREME COURT JUSTICE 

ANTHONY M. KENNEDY 


Our ancestors understood 
the separation of church 
and state in the most per- 
sonal terms. Some of 
them left the Old World 
to seck freedom to prac- 
tice their own religious 
heliefs They wanted to 
establish a government 
that could not decree 
an official religion 

Most Americans 
understand this dis- 
tinction; some, how- 
ever. have become 
the very creatures 
our ancestors fled. 
The state may not 
legally establish a 
religion, but what 
happens when the reli- 
gious take over the state? 

Pat Robertson's Christian 
Coalition has created a disturbing and 
effective strategy called the San Diego 
model: Elect right-wing candidates to 
low-level political jobs—the offices typ- 
ically out of the spotlight at election 
time—then use those offices to further 
a Christian agenda. 

In the 1990 local elections, a coali- 
tion of Christian and pro-life groups in 
San Diego County, California, achieved 
stunning success. Under the aegis of 
the Pro-Life Council. the coalition en- 
dorsed 90 candidates for agencies such 
as community planning districts, water 
boards, fire protection districts, school 
boards and city coun It called its 
slate of endorsees the Pro-Family Can- 
didate List. Sixty candidates, many of 
them political novices with no experi- 


CTR 


га 


ТНЕ МУТН ОЕ 


CHURCH AND STATE 


the christian right acts nationally by winning locally 


ence or qualifications for the offices, 
won. Their only real qualification for 
endorsement? A strong pro-life stance. 

The 1990 election had the effect of a 
quiet coup because mainstream voters 
were unaware of the Pro-Life Council 
strategy. The Pro-Family Candidate 
Lis circulated among conservative 
churches. Phone volunteers from vari- 
ous Christian organizations canvassed 
directly from church directories. Many 
of the candidates declined to speak to 
the press or to appear at public fo- 


rums. It wasn't necessary—the right 
people knew whom to vote for, and 
in low-turnout elections, а mobilized 
force carried the day. 

In the summer of 1991 in the north- 
ern San Diego County town of Poway, 
the going got weird. City councilman 
Tony Snesko produced a Bible during 
a city meeting and read Scripture be- 
fore voting on a request for an asphalt 
plant. He also used the city letterhead 
for a mailing to more than 100 local 
pastors, urging them to recruit “mis- 
sionaries to politics.” Snesko believes 
that Christian faith is synonymous with 
good government. 

In Poway, school boards voted to re- 


By BOB HOWELL 


scind a state policy of confidential stu- 
dent counseling. Students no longer 
have the option of receiving confiden- 
tial medical advice on topics that in- 
clude abortion and pregnancy without 
parental consent. Will abused children 
also then need to obtain parental con- 
sent for counseling? 

In Oceanside, the school board vot- 
ed 3-2, despite intense pressure from 
a number of parents, to uphold the 
confidential-counseling policy. But not 
before school board member Dean 
Szabo pulled a Bible from his jacket 
and said, “There are the laws of the 
state of California, and there are also 
the laws that are written in this book.” 
Opponents of the policy circulated a 
mock poster offering “Baby Killing 
Services . . . All Children From 
Oceanside Junior & Senior High 
Schools Are Welcome (Age 12 & 

Up). Thanks to OSB policy 

#5113, you may now have 
your fetus killed during 
school hours, and school ad- 
ministrators will help keep 
your secret from your par- 
ents.” The flier con- 
tained the phone num- 
bers of board members 
who voted to uphold 

the policy. 

In La Mesa, new 
school trustee Don 
Smith announced a 

self-described religious 
agenda for the La Mesa- 

Spring Valley School District: “We 
want to have it like it was a hundred 
years ago, when God, the Ten Com- 
mandments and prayer were the focus 
of our schools and where morality was 
taught.” 

One of the masterminds of the San 
Diego strategy was political consultant 
and Christian activist Steve Baldwin. 
Baldwin declined to talk to pLavaov, 
but he did tell the Southern California 
Christian Times that the same approach 
will be used in the November elections. 
Baldwin said he prefers working to 
elect unknowns because "you can't al- 
ways trust the biggies.” 

Baldwin has no problem with run- 
ning people on their religious faith 
rather than on their qualifications. “I 


don't think any board is so complicated 
you can't learn it in six months,” he 
told The San Diego Union 

The Pro-Life Council's taste in can- 
didate qualifications is quite similar: “If 
they're pro-life, we don't care what 
their background is,” California Pro- 
Life Council executive director Brian 
Johnston told rLavsov. Johnston added 
that his is not a Christian group. 

An avowedly Ch outfit, Pat 
Robertson's Christian Coalition is tak- 
ing the reins for the 1992 elections. 
Don Holman, Western regional direc- 
tor for the coalition, said, “We went un- 
der the radar scope [in 1990]. We mo- 
bilized voters, and people were not 
aware what was coming. Can we do it 
again? I don't think so. The other side 
knows it’s coming. If they're smart, 
they'll probably do something.” 

The other side's best advocate is the 
Mainstream Voters Project. Rita Col- 
lier, president of the Mainstream Vot- 
ers Project, says it is а nonpartisan 
organization created to “share informa- 
tion with our members and the press 
regarding people running on issues 
that have no relationship to the office, 
people who misrepresent their qu: 
cations ur want to impose sectarian bc- 
licfs on others through gaining office. 

"We became concerned after the 
November 1990 elections," says Collier. 
"We saw unqualified candidates elected 
to local offices, running on a single is- 
sue—anti-abortion—which they char- 
acterized as being pro-family, tradition- 
al family values." 

In a recent issue of the Mainstream 
Voters Project Bulletin, Collier added, 
“The 1990 elections in San Diego 
County indicated the need to be vigi- 
lant against the use of stealth cam- 
paigns that subvert the political process 
and allow candidates who believe in an 
extremist agenda to gain office without 
the mainstream voter knowing what 
that agenda really is.” 

Collier says that “Christian right- 
wing conservatives” have pledged to 
field candidates for 200 San Diego 
County elective offices in November. 
Her group has published a list of such 
potential candidates who attended a 
Christian Coalition training session. 

The Christian Coalition is conduct- 
ing these “leadership schools” to create 
“an army of politically trained Chris- 
tians that will recapture lost territory 
for righteousness.” Holman said the 
training sessions try to educate Chris- 
tian forces in precinct strategies, fund- 
raising techniques and media relations. 
“We train them so they know what 


they're doing,” said Holman. “If they 
don't, they're going to get killed.” 
Ralph Reed, national executive di- 
rector of the Christian Coalition, is 
credited with coining the phrase San 
Diego model. He calls it an example 
“of what Christians and evangelicals 
and pro-family Roman Catholics are 
attempting to do around the nation.” 
Its success makes good on Robertson's 
promise “to place Pat Robertson peo- 
ple on city councils, school boards and 
legislatures all over this country ... one 
neighborhood at a time.” 
It is this national ambition that con- 
cerns Michael Hudson of People for 
the American Way. “When you fear this 
kind of extreme takeover, the question 
is, how do you battle and counter it 
in tens of thousands of communities? 
They have a built-in organizational 
structure—very conservative churches 


“The Christian 
Coalition wants te 
create ‘an army of 
politically trained 


Christians that will 
recapture lost 
territory for 
- righteousness. ” 


in every community. In general, there's 
not a mainstream or moderate organi- 
zation that serves as a standing vehicle 
[to act as a counter]." 

Hudson calls for mainstream clergy, 
parent-teacher groups, Planned Par- 
enthood chapters and artists’ groups 
to band together in such coalitions as 
the Mainstream Voters Project. "The 
resources on the other side are consid- 
erable,” Hudson warns. “It can't be just 
teachers or Planned Parenthood. These 
groups have to work together.” 

Hudson points out that not only is 
the Christian Right becoming more ef- 
fective in getting people elected, “they 
are becoming more sophisticated about 
hiding their agenda. That's what their 
training sessions are all about. They 
don't say, for example, "We're going to 
teach the biblical point of view.’ They 


talk about ‘balanced treatment’ of vari- 
ous points of view. They don't talk 
about undermining sex education and 
AIDS education. They know that if 
they talk about their agenda forth- 
rightly, a large majority of the people 
will be uncomfortable with it." 

Smith, the La Mesa school trustee 
who spoke of returning "God, the Ten 
Commandments and prayer" to the 
schools, is also the San Diego County 
co-chairman of the Christian Coalition. 
Smith sees no conflict in instilling these 
elements in the school curriculum, 
since he feels that the separation of 
church and state is simply a “myth” 
created by the Supreme Court. “It was 
the religious principles,” Smith said, 
“that were the basis of our nation for 
the first one hundred fifiy years that 
made our nation great.” 

School boards may be the most di- 
rect and obvious platforms for such an 
agenda, but other agencies such as 
water boards and fire protection dis- 
tricts can also be useful. While the 
Christian Coalition’s Holman explains 
that Christians should be “good stew- 
ards of taxpayers’ money,” Johnston of 
the California Pro-Life Council is more 
blunt; “It has to be recognized that 
[low-level offices are] the stepping- 
stone to higher involvement.” 

This recognition marks a move away 
from the streets (a la Operation Res- 
cue) and into the civic buildings. “They 
can stand out there [in front of abor- 
tion clinics] all they want, but they can't 
change anything unless they run for 
office,” says Holman. 

The Christian Coalition's Reed told 
the Orange County Register, “The Chris- 
tian Right has learned that political 
power runs upward, not downward.” 
The Christian Right, says Reed, is mov- 
ing from a “very visible, very vulnera- 
ble strategy to an underground strate- 
gy to a stealth strategy. You wouldn't 
know what's going on because it 
doesn't show up." 

Unfortunately, in some ways, the re- 
cent Supreme Court decision against 
religious convocations in schools will 
only reinforce the guerrilla tactics of the 
Christian Right. Since the fundamen- 
talist Christians already believe that the 
separation of church and state is sim- 
ply a construct of a liberal High Court, 
their work will become all the more 
covert as they seek to infiltrate local 
governments. If there is a cautionary 
lesson to be learned from the San 
Diego model it is simply this: Pay close 
attention to all local candidates and not 
only to the hotly contested seats. 


53 


54 


he road to the First 
Amendment is paved 
with ugly litle inci- 
dents, unpleasant little 
people and offensive 
litle phrases. God bless 
and protect them all. 
The most recent per- 

son to teach us the value 
of free expression is Robert A. Viktora, 
a skinhead. Listen as the Supreme 
Court describes his contribution to the 
quintessential American experience: 
"In the predawn hours of June 21, 
1990, [Viktora] and several other teen- 
agers allegedly assembled a crudely 
made cross by taping together broken 
chair legs. They then allegedly burned 
the cross inside the fenced yard of a 
black family that lived across the street 
from the house where petitioner was 
staying.” 

The police in St. Paul, Minnesota, ar- 
rested Viktora. The prosecutor could 
have charged him with any number of 
crimes, from arson to the making of 
terrorist threats (the latter carrying a 
maximum five-year prison sentence). 
Instead, he chose to charge Viktora 
with violating the  Bias-Motivated 
Crime Ordinance, which state: 
“Whoever places on public or pri- 
vate property a symbol, object, appella- 
tion, characterization or graffiti, in- 
cluding but not limited to a burning 
cross or Nazi swastika, which one 
knows or has reasonable grounds to 
know arouses anger, alarm or resent- 
ment in others on the basis of race, col- 
or, creed, religion or gender, commits 
disorderly conduct and shall be guilty 
of a misdemeanor.” 

The skinhead Viktora challenged 
the law. His lawyer argued that the 
phrase “arouses anger, alarm or re- 
sentment in others” is too broad, and 
that the law punishes speech protected 
by the First Amendment. A Minnesota 
court responded to the challenge by 
limiting the ordinance's prohibition to 
fighting words—ie., speech or “соп- 
duct that itself inflicts injury or tends 
to incite immediate violence.” 

To understand fighting words, we 
must go back 50 years to Chaplinsky us. 
New Hampshire. In this case, the High 
Court encountered another unpleasant 
chap,a Jehovah's Witness named Chap- 
linsky, who got into a street brawl after 
calling a policeman “a goddamned 
racketeer” and “a damned fascist—and 
the whole government of Rochester 
are fascists or agents of fascists.” No 
videotape record exists of the behavior 
that led to the riot. All that remains 


now is what the Justices declared at the 
time: Words that are uttered in a face- 
to-face confrontation and are “plainly 
likely” to cause a breach of the peace 
were not protected by the First 
Amendment. 

Justice Frank Murphy wrote: “There 
are certain well-defined and narrowly 
limited classes of speech, the preven- 
tion and punishment of which have 
never been thought to raise any consti- 
tutional problem. These include the 
lewd and obscene, the profane, the li- 
belous, and the insulting or fighting 
words. . . . It has been well observed 
that such utterances are no essential 
part of any exposition of ideas and are 


of such slight social value as a step to 


duct. The judge told the jury in this 
case that the law prohibited speech 
that “stirs the public to anger, invites 
dispute, brings about a condition of 
unrest or creates a disturbance.” The 
Supreme Court overturned the deci- 
sion because it felt that this expanded 
definition of fighting words included 
protected speech. 

In the St. Paul case, legal theorists 
felt that the Supreme Court would 
overturn the statute for the same rea- 
son, but the Court surprised everyone. 
On June 22, 1992, though the Justices 
voted unanimously to overturn the law, 
the majority did so not because the law 
was too broad but because it was too 
narrow. It seemed the decision was an 


RR ene Te ae 
PAN LA =, 
RER ENE 


truth that any benefit that may be de- 
rived from them is clearly outweighed 
by the social interest in order and 
morality.” 

Placing a burning cross in the front 
yard of the only black family in the 
neighborhood certainly qualifies as an 
act that might provoke a response. 
Tom Zachary of the St. Paul NAACP 
told reporters that if racists set foot on 
his property to burn a cross, he would 
“shoot them like a dog.” 

Most hate speech, however, is not 
face to face. It moves through the cor- 
ridors of cowardice and preaches to the 
converted in bonfire-lighted rallies. 

‘The Supreme Court has listened to 
a parade of unpopular hatemongers 
over the years. An anti-Semitic rabble- 
rouser in Terminiello vs. Chicago told 
audiences that Jews outside the meet- 
ing hall were “scum that got in by 
mistake.” A lower-court decision found 
Terminiello guilty of disorderly con- 


open permit for hate speech, a call to 
arms for night riders, graffiti terrorists, 
bigots and bullies. It was not. 

Justice Antonin Scalia was vehement 
about the crime: “Let there be no mis- 
take about our belief that burning a 
cross in someone’s front yard is repre- 
hensible. But St. Paul has sufficient 
means at its disposal to prevent such 
behavior without adding the First 
Amendment to the fire. 

Scalia and the majority of the Jus- 
tices accepted that fighting words are 
not protected speech. However, they 
introduced a concept vhich posits that 
even though an expression of speech 
may be unprotected, other parts of the 
First Amendment still apply. It was 
against precedent, Scalia felt, for the 
law to play favorites based on the con- 
tent of the speech: "The ordinance ap- 
plies only to ‘fighting words’ that insult 
or provoke violence ‘on the basis of 
race, color, creed, religion or gender.’ 


Displays containing abusive invective, 
no matter how vicious or severe, are 
permissible unless they are addressed 
to one of the specified disfavored top- 
ics. Those who wish to use ‘fighting 
words’ in connection with other 
ideas—to express hostility, for cxam- 
ple, on the basis of political affiliation, 
union membership or homosexuali- 
ty—are not covered" by the ordinance. 

Scalia reminds us that the First 
Amendment prevents discrimination 
by viewpoint: "Displays containing 


some words—odious racial cpithets, 
for example—would be prohibited to 
proponents of all views. But ‘fighting 
words’ that do not themselves invoke 
race, color, creed, religion or gender— 


Law Journal reports that more than 
“250 of America's universities have ex- 
perienced incidents of bigotry ranging 
from racism to anti-Semitism to sexism 
to homophobia. Nearly one million 
students are victimized annually by 
bigotry.” 

‘A sampling of these ugly little inci- 
dents: “A University of Wisconsin fra- 
ternity held a ‘slave auction.’ А drunken 
student at Brown University shouted 
epithets about blacks, homosexuals and 
Jews. To a black onlooker, he bragged 
"my parents own you people.’ At the 
Citadel, a black cadet was awakened in 
the middle of the night by five of his 
classmates dressed in the garb of the 
Ku Klux Klan. They left a burning 


norities out of their homes by burning 
crosses on their lawns, but I see great 
harm in preventing the people of St. 
Paul from specifically punishing the 
race-based fighting words that so prej- 
udice their community.” 

“Conduct that creates special risks or 
causes special harms may be prohibit- 
ed by special rules,” added Justice 
John Paul Stevens. “Lighting a fire 
near an ammunition dump or a gaso- 
line storage tank is especially danger- 
ous; such behavior may be punished 
more severely than burning trash in a 
vacant lot. Threatening someone be- 
cause of her race or religious beliefs 
may cause particularly severe trauma 
or touch off a riot. . .. [and] may be 


on 


ОАК en 14% 


aspersions on a person's mother, for 
example—would seemingly be usable 
ad libitum in the placards of those argu- 
ing in favor of racial, color, etc., toler- 
ance and equality, but could not be 
used by that speaker's opponents.” 

In other words, it was a law that al- 
lowed calling Robert Viktora a neo- 
Nazi, Aryan asshole to his face but did 
not allow him the same right. “St. 
Paul,” according to Scalia, “has no such 
authority to license one side of a debate 
to fight freestyle, while requiring the 
other to follow Marquis of Queensbury 
Rules.” Justice Byron White took issue 
with Scalia's reasoning by offering in 
his opinion: “Should the government 
want to criminalize certain fighting 
words, the Court now requires it to 
criminalize all fighting words.” 

The decision forces the reconsidera- 
tion of the whole concept of hate 
speech. Racism, you must remember, is 
not limited to skinheads. The New York 


inpleasantness, a p skinhead | teaches us Ahaus the first amendenent 


24-6 


N пу 
ЗОРА © 


cross as a reminder of their visit." 

More than 100 colleges and universi- 
ties have conduct codes that prohibit 
speech or conduct, or both, that de- 
mean persons on the basis of race, gen- 
der, religion, ancestry or sexual orien- 
tation, disability or age. 

The Supreme Court ruling will send 
most of those codes (at least those at 
schools that receive government mon- 
ey) back for rethinking. Words that de- 
mean (i.e., merely offend) are clearly 
not the same as fighting words. Hate- 
speech codes cannot play favorites and 
punish only those who attack the most 
sensitive (or most organized) victims’ 
groups, says the Court's decision. 

Justice Harry Blackmun disagreed 
with Scalia's attempt to equalize all 
hate speech. He felt that certain injus- 
tices did indeed merit special consider- 
ation: “I see no First Amendment val- 
ues that are compromised by a law that 
prohibits hoodlums from driving mi- 


WOOD 
ИДИ DRK 


punished more severely than threats 
against someone based on, say, his sup- 
port of a particular athletic team.” 

Is the war on hate deprived of an im- 
portant weapon? Not really. Most hate 
crimes are real crimes. Colleges and 
government may still punish behavior 
and conduct, not simply viewpoints. 

As noble as the Minnesota ordinance 
appeared, it really did nothing to 
squelch hate, And now, the skinhead, 
according to the Court, is “free to burn 
a cross, to announce a rally or to ex- 
press his views about racial supremacy; 
he may do so on private property or 
public land, at day or at night, so long 
as the burning is not so threatening or 
so directed at an individual as to ‘by its 
very [execution] inflict injury.” 

To the vast majority of Americans, 
a skinhead burning a cross is repug- 
nant, but when he burns that cross, the 
rest of us will read what we choose by 


its light. 


55 


56 


N E W 


в оо R 


ом T 


what's happening in the sexual and social arenas 


TRICKS AND TREATS 


ROTTERDAM—The Netherlands long 
ago granted legal status to sexual en- 
trepreneurs—at least to individual prosti- 
tutes. The country has new revoked the law 


against procuring—which opens the way 
for brothels. Rotterdam is planning а 50- 
тоот, 24-hour sexual pleasure dome, os- 
tensibly to control disease, reduce crime 
and keep brothels out of residential areas. 
The national prostitutes’ union sees the 
changes as mainly benefiting manage- 
ment, A spokesperson grumbled, “We're ef- 
fectively getting an extra pimp.” 


THE GREAT “NO” CONTROVERSY 


EAST STROUDSBURG, PENNSYLVANIA—A 
state appeals court overturned a tape 
conviction against Robert Berkowitz on 
the grounds that sometimes “no” is not 
enough. Berkowitz, 20 at the time, stood 
accused of raping a fellow sophomore at 
East Stroudsburg Unwersity. The superior 
court found that existing Pennsylvania 
law requires “forcible compulsion”— and 
from all the evidence, or lack of it, the vic- 
tim could have left the dorm room where 
the alleged rape took place at any time 
“without any risk of harm or danger to 
herself whatsoever.” 


JEAN BLUES 


TUPELO, MISSISSIPPI—The Rev- 
erend Donald Wildmon and his Ameri- 


can Family Association want consumers to 
boycott Levi Strauss & Co. Seems that the 
Boy Scouts of America's exclusion of gays 
disqualifies the organization from receiv- 
ing any more Levi corporate donations, 
which have ranged from $40,000 to 
$80,000 a year. "That they would penalize 
the Boy Scouts for refusing to accept open- 
ly practicing homosexuals as scoutmas- 
ters,” said Reverend Wildmon, “shows they 
по longer want the business of the majori- 
ty of Americans.” 


GENTLEMEN PREFER LEGS 


COLUMBIA, MISSOURI—The University 
of Missouri studied the sexual daydreams 
of men and women to discover what they 
lusted after. Not surprisingly, il found 
some differences. Men visualize: 

© Great legs (96%) 

е Kissing large breasts (91%) 

* Having a woman demand sex (87%) 

e Exciting a woman until she screams 
with pleasure (87%) 

e Hearing a woman say, “I want your 
body!” (86%) 

9 Having sex with two women (84%) 
Women imagine: 

® Having clothes gently removed and 
making love іп а secluded spot (90%) 

е Being very sexy and getting it on with 
а hunk (71%) 

© Having sex where there is risk of be- 
ing caught (65%) 

© Being desired by famous men at a 
party (64%) 


WILLY WONKA ON THE LAM 


LONDON—Mood music, soft lighting 
and a chocolate penis set the stage and 
earned $10,000 for a British legal secre- 
tary, An industrial tribunal ruled that be- 
havior at a Christmas party got out of 
hand and that the secretary was sexually 
harassed at the party and then was fired 
after she complained. The company says 
‚she should have handled the situation more 


maturely. 
WITCH-HUNT 


CONCORD. CALIFORNIA —Tivo members 
of the Oak Haven Coven have asked local 
schools to ban “Hansel and Gretel” be- 
cause it denigrates witches and approves of 
putting them to death. Their protest grew 


out of a fifth-graders’ mock trial in which 
Hansel and Gretel were charged with 
murdering the old witch by shoving her in- 
to an oven. The death was ruled justifiable 
homicide and the defendants were found 
not guilty on grounds of self-defense, 
“Witches don't eat children,” the com- 
plainants insist. 


ANTI-BIAS CODE RUNS AMOK 


SANTA CRUZ, CALIFORNIA—Ahead of its 
time: This California city has enacted a 
law that prohibits job or housing discrimi- 
nation not only against transsexuals, 
women and minorities but also against the 
obese, the toothless or anyone subject to bias 
fora “physical characteristic.” 


BAIT AND SWITCH 


SOUTHPORT, ENGLAND—A couple re- 
sponding to a newspaper ad for recharge- 
able batteries received promotional materi- 
al for an inflatable sheep instead. The 


literature included a drawing of Luv Ewe 
and the description: “She has been devel- 
oped after years of research to bring the joy 
of sheep into your love life without the ob- 
vious problems of a real sheep. No bleating 
to alert neighbors. No risk of ruining your 
prize lawn.” The couple insisted they still 
wanted only their rechargeable baiteries 
and filed a complaint with the Advertising 
Standards Authority, 


Charlie Sampson, 
a World Champion bull 
rider, has seen the underside 
of a few 1,500-pound bulls. Bulls 
have punctured his lungs, broken 
his sternum, his ribs, his ankle, his 
wrist, his fingers, his legs (four times), 
and shattered every bone in his face. 
* Charlie says he always dreamed of 
being a cowboy. He’s wearing a 
Timex watch with a genuine 
cowhide strap. It costs 
about $50. 


TIMEX 


For the retalier nearest you call 1-800-367-8463. 


©1002 Timex Corp Pics isto в suggest ral. 


PLAYBOY 


58 


Be Wicked 
For a Week. 


Sleep in. 
Stay up late. 
Give up counting calories. 
| Have a drink before noon. 
Give up mineral water. 
Dine in shorts. 
Talk to strangers. 
Don’t make your bed. 
Go skinny dipping. 
Don't call your mother. 
Let your hair down. 
Don't pay for anything. 
_ Поп leave a tip. 

= Be your beautiful self 


S| (US) or 1-800-553-4320 
(Canada). 


HEDONISM II 


A SuperClubs AlHnclusive Resort. 


PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: SISTE R SOULJAH 


a candid conversation with the angry young woman of rap 


about racial hatred, hip-hop politics and her 


Los Angeles burns, a black rap artist makes 
some wemarks about whites dying in ghetto vi- 
olence und Bill Clinton jumps all over her, 
producing one of those flurries that does noth- 
ing to educate and everything to entertain. 
Welcome to the campaign, 1992. 

In presidential politics, the medinm is ever 
mone the story as Ross Perot launched his iH- 
Jated campaign on “Larry King Live” and 
Clinton countered by campaigning on MTI 
These visits were contrived lo appear sponta- 
neons while leaving at least one sound bite in 
the mind of the voter. So it fit the story last 
spring when Bill Clinton, then the presump- 
tive Democratic nominee for the Presidency, 
decided to tangle with а black female ғар 
singer by the name of Sister Souljah. 

Speaking before a gathering of Jesse Jack- 
son's Rainbow Coalition, Clinton cut loose— 
deliberately and with passion. “You had a ғар 
singer here last night named Sister Souljah,” 
Clinton began, seferring to Souljah’s parüci- 
pation in a youth roundtable. “Her comments 
before and after Los Angeles were filled with a 
kind of hatied that you do not honor [here] to- 
day and tought, Just listen 10 this, what she 
saul. She told Vhe Washington Post about a 
month ago, aud 1 quote, ‘If black people kill 
black people evers day, why not have a 
and hill white people? 

That was all it took. Within hours, a media 


Е dont өзе anybody any apologies. 1 reserve 
the right to fight against white supremacy aud. 
white racism. I intentionally put pressure on 
white America because they need it, they de 
serve il aud they inherited it. 


storm began: Clinton defended his remarks 
CAL 1 can tell you ix that 1 said what 1 be- 
lieved”), while Jackson expressed shock at 
Clinton's attack. 71 don't know what his inten- 
tion was,” Jackson said. "I was totally sur- 
prised. It was very bud judgment land Soul- 
jah)... should receive an apolo, 

Souljah quickly became the cover girl of ev- 
erything fiom Newsday to Newsweek, all 
the while claiming she was used as a tool by 
white politicians in the same way paroled 
rapist Willie Horton was used by conservative 
Republicans in the 1988 presidential election. 
Souljah charged Clinton with being out of 
touch with the black community and called 
him a draft dodger, a pot smoker and Pinoc- 
chio. She also aimed her vitriol at The Wash- 
ington Post. which, she insisted, had taken 
her original comments out of context, In 
speaking about blacks murdering whites, she 
said, she was simply responding to a question 
about the mentality of gang members wha had 
participated in the Los Angeles riots: 

When the Post released a transcript of the 
interview, it turned out that there was room 
Jor mterpretation on both sides of the contro- 
versy. Souljah was asked if she thought that 
those who perpetrated the violence in Los An- 
geles believed their actions to be wise and rea- 
soned. Souljah responded: “Yeah, it was wise. 
Emean, if black people kill black people every 


“You can't keep pointing lo men as a source of 


your problems—not when I see women back- 
slage at a concert with their toothbrush and 
panties т а bag. ready to sleep with somebody 
because he's an entertainer.” 


feud with bill clinton 


day, why not have a week and kill white peo- 
ple? ... Ха if you're а gang member and you 
wonld normally be killing somebody, why not 
kill a white person? Do you think that some- 
body thinks white people ar better, or above 
ата beyond that dying, when they would kill 
their own kind?” 

Just the same, Souljali's стай» shouldn't 
have ruffled a would-be President's feathers, 
except that the lyrics on her album and those of 
other black hip-hoppers ате raw and angry, 
and they sour the more palliative mood we had 
come to expect fiom certain black performers 
Yet the Souljal-Clinton fracas served ошу to 
fuel other controversies within the music and 
political communities. Alieady in the spotlight 
шау performer Пе heavy-metal album 
“Body Count.” Hs song “Cop Killer” elicited 
denunciations from everyone from right-wing 
talk-show host Rush Limbaugh (who called 
dee-T fans “savages”) to President 
Bush and Vice President Dan Quayle. 
Tran-contra weteran Oliver North joined the 
fray, vowing to seek criminal charges against 
Time Warner, whose subsidiary. Sire/Warner 
Bros. Records, released the “Body Count 
album. 

But not all of the media expressed contempt 
at the volatility of rap—or, specifically. Sister 
Souljahr s—rhetoric. As a Newsweek editor 
Lorene Сату pointed ont т a recent column, 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY ROB RICH 


“Clinton used те, no question about that, 1 
сай Clinton Pinocchio. E think Clinton is a 
Пако nat just in racial issues but іп every way. 
He portrays himself as one thing when he's ас 

tually something else.” 


PLAYBOY 


60 


Frederick Douglass made а case 140 years ago 
for the expression of what would then have 
been known as Negro rage: “Ata lime like this, 
scorching ivony, nol convincing argument, is 
needed. Oh. had I the ability and could 1 
reach the nation’s ear. 1 would today pour out 
а fiery stream of biting ridicule, blasting re- 
proach, withering sarcasm and stern rebuke 

For it is not light that is needed but fire; it is 
uot the gentle shower but thunder.” 

As the controversy wound dewn—and it 
eventually did —one thing became clear about 
Sister Souljah: She would nol be an easy tar- 
gel for those eager to pigeonhole her as an 
pees -headed hatemonger. College-educated, 
she is, by her own admission, an “alcohol-free, 
drug-free black businesswoman” whose only 
scrape with the law was for participating in 
anti-apartheid prolests. But more important, 
she is а hip-hop artist—or, as Chuck D of 
Public Enemy has called her, а “raptivist.” 
Sharp-witted and eloquent, Souljah was first 
heard screeching in the background of Public 
Enemy records. In 1990 she adopted the name 
Souljah (pronounced sovt-juh—a combina- 
tion of “soul” and the Hebrew word for 
God —thal, not unintentionally, comes out 
sounding like “soldier”) and went solo wih 
her debut album “360 Degrees of Power” 
was on that record that Sister Souljah BE 
listeners a taste of things to come: “Souljah,” 
went the lyrics, “was not born to make white 
people feel comfortable.” 

Вот Lisa Williamson іп 1964 in the 
Bronx, she was raised by her mother. Her fa- 
ther left the family when she was very young. 
She attended Cornell University’s advanced- 
placement summer program and Spain's Uni- 
versity of Salamanca study-abroad program. 
She later majored in history and African stud- 
ies while attending Rutgers University, where 
she wrote fiery editorials and articles for the 
school newspaper. Her political activism was 
honed on that campus, where she participated 
in the aforementioned anti-apartheid demon- 
strations that led to her arrest. 

Souljah is a student of the Bible and 
Koran, able lo quote freely from either. Her 
commitment to youth was demonstrated when, 
in cooperation with the United Church of 
Christ, she founded, funded and administered 
a camp in North Carolina for homeless children. 

If what Souljah had to say about American 
racism was disturbing, it seemed especially im- 
portant lo gel to the roots of her energy and 
anger To talk with Souljah, we assigned 
Robert Scheer, whose interviews for PLAYBOY 
have ranged from Jimmy Carter to Tom 
Cruise. His report: 

As she shows up at mayuov's New York 
office т a black leather jacket with two male 
friends, the first thing that hits you is how 
nonthreatening this fierce bard is, Sending out 
for tuna sandwiches and Cokes is the first or- 
der of business, though Souljah stuck with bot- 
Wed water for political reasons. ОК. 

"Souljah's grandmother, who died last year 
al the age of 92, was a pastor in the Bronx 
Souljah's accent, which is the same as mine. 
helped bridge distances of race, age and ca- 
reer. What I mean is thal at no point was this 
an unpleasant experience. 


“Souljah can be strident, but she is straight. 
Ask a question and you gel an answer. maybe 
longer than you need but nevertheless to the 
point. I found her album loud, intimidating 
and not completely comprehensible. In person 
she was professorial always, pedantic some- 
times. but nasty, never.” 


PLAYBOY: You had a dose of sudden 
me. How did it feel to go from relative 
obscurity to the cover of Newsweek? 
SOULJAH: In my own community, the 
African community, I was well known. 
Which is why people came to my de- 
fense. The only difference is, I was sud- 
denly popular in white America, which 
was never necessarily one of my goals 
You have to understand. I went to the 
Black Expo in New York three weeks 
before the Clinton incident and 1 had 
to stay there for seven hours signing 
autographs. 

PLAYBOY: Why did Bill Clinton pick you? 
souLiaH: Не just pulled me out of a 
barrel. 

PLAYBOY: All of this began when you 
were attacked by Clinton for something 
you said to The Washington Post about 


“White America needs 
a demon to scare its 
own population 
to the polls. They 
need a bogeyman 
to say boo.” 


the desirability of blacks killing whites 
in the L.A, riots. Then you had a meet- 
ing with the top editors at the Post 
to complain about the quotes Бей 
taken out of context. Did the Post agree 
it had made a mistake? 
SOULJAH: They agreed to some things. 
They agreed that the title of the article, 
SISTER SOULJAH'S CALL TO ARMS, was only 
meant metaphorically. 
PLAYBOY: Exactly what did you say to the 
Washington Post reporter? 
SOULJAH: The reporter asked if the peo- 
ple perpetuating the vi 
thought it was wise, rea: 
And I said yes—meaning, yes, that i 
what they thought. And I went on to say 
that if young black men who are mem- 
bers of gangs would kill their own broth- 
ers, kill their own sisters, why not kill a 
white person? Not meaning that I'm 
suggesting they kill a white person. 
There's no boundary in the gang 
members’ minds once they become casu- 
about killing. Once you are neglected 
by the social, economic and spiritual sys- 
tems that are supposed to help develop 
people's mind-sets—once you become 


casual about taking a life—you don't 
any distinction between colors. И 
for you to kill another black man 
or your own brother, then it's gravy 10 
kill somebody white. That's the way 1 
feel a gang member feels about it 
PLAYBOY: When you told the Washington 
Post editors that was the sentiment, did 
they agree that they had distorted it? 
SOULJAH: They felt that they did not dis- 
tort it, 

PLAYBOY: But you maint 
y would anyone distort 


m they did. 
what you're 


White America needs a demon 
to scare its own population to the polls. 
"They need a bogeyman to say boo, to get 
that average white who's 

on his couch with his beer—disinterest- 
ed in Clinton, ‘ot and Bush—to run to 
the polls. So Sister Souljah is the mon- 
ster of the year. You understand? And 
there have been many monsters. Willie 
Horton was a monster. Malcolm X was a 
monster. Marcus Garvey. Nat Turner, 
oh, he was really а monster. White Am 
ica continues to market monsters to 
scare white America into becoming polit- 
ically active, because wh 
disenchanted with its own system 
PLAYBOY: Do you fecl that you were used 
by Bill Синоп? 

SOULIAH: Sure. Clinton used me, no 
question about that. 1 call Clinton Pino 
chio. I think Clinton is a liar, not just in 
racial issues but in every way. He por- 
ways himself as one thing when he's ac- 
tually something else, Take Gennifer 
Flowers. Do you know how callous you 
have to be to share an intimate relation- 
ship with a person for twelve years and 
then to disgrace or dismiss that person 
as if she were а hooker? I don't care that 
Clinton had two women. 1 do care that 
he's callous enough to dismiss one as if 
she were not even a human being, 

So you can see that Clinton is a little 
person, How many times did I say my 
statements were taken out of context? 
Yet in no way has that moved Clinton to 
alter any of his statements, or to contact 


me, or to try to reach common 
ground. 
PLAYBOY: If he called you, what would 


you say to him? 
SOULIAH: “How do you know what my 
statements are? As a political official, 
don't you know what it feels like то be 
misquoted and misunderstood? Haven't 
you done enough explaining yourself 
to have compassion for somebody else, 
rather than to put him into the same 


shining ex- 
ample of what Clinton talks about with 
respect to wellare reform: You're some- 
one who came off welfare and who is now 
able to support herself and pay taxes 

SOULJAH: Isn't it incredible? That's why I 
said that at my press conference, to think 
that the whole country is falling apart— 
economic recession, inner-city chaos—and 


here comes this presidential contender 
who wants to dump on a young Afri 
1 who's alcohol-free, drug-f 
ied. productive and who has never 
hurt anybody. Interesting. 

1 think it also reveals the problem of 
white supremacy and racism. Spike Lee 
becomes a movie director, and they do 
like Spike Lee. And then they don't 
the next guy. And then here comes Siste: 
Souljah. “We don't like her, either.” Well, 
what do you like? You don't like black 
kids who participate in so-called crimir 
activity, and you don't like African рео: 
ple who become producers and directors 
and express themselves freely. And you 
don't like black people who become 
bourgeois and try to be white. 

PLAYBOY: Let's be fair. It’s not as if you've 
made being liked by whites a high pri- 
ority. Your record lyrics can be pretty 
disagreeable, 

SOULJAH: 105 like I say on my record: 
“Souljah was not born to make white 
people feel comfortable, I am African 
first, Eam black first, I want what's good 
for me and my people first, all right? IF 
my survival means your total destruc- 
tion, then so be it.” Most reporters мор 
right there. They cut out: “You built this 
wicked system. They say two wrongs 
don't make it right, but it damn sure 
makes it even.” They cur out that part on 
purpose 
PLAYBOY: Let's talk about rap. Why is it 
so powerful 
SOULJAM: Because it has all the right 
combinations. It has the African drum, 
the warp beats, the young voices. It h 
masculine black voices—something th 


wom: 


educ 


feclings of the young, black, inne 
youth in the media. Instead, you see 
some powdered, made-up black guy in a 
suit and tie who has been so alienated 
from the black community that he по 
longer thinks he’s black. 
Rap music is powerlul because it puts 
people in leadership who would not 
ly be allowed to speak, rap, thyme, 
1 say anything. It puts an array of 
stories and experiences on the market— 
some funny and some painful, And гар 


presents all types of emotions. If you 
it’s usually 


listen to an R&B record, 
If you 
bout conflict between. mothe 
1 between той 
Miet between the pol 
or a celebration of the mother 
nd daughter and fami 


about sex. 
из all 
and fathe 


and kids- 
and fach: 
There are thousands of topics addressed 


by rap music. You even H 
black men teaching other you 
men how to be 


does not coi 


we young 
g black 
ien —something that 
easy to them, becau 
lot of them grew up without fathers. 
PLAYBOY: Was rap always important 
to you? 

SOULJAH: Yeah, it was gc 
parties and on street corners when I was 


a kid. Back then you had the Sugarhill 
ing, Grandmaster Flash, the Furious 
Five—and we controlled it. 

This is how we used to do rap: You 
had a tape, and you had a recorder 
with а pause button. You mixed—you 
wrecked—your music with the pause 
button. You made tapes and sold them 
to one another, Remember, rap came out 
of the inner cities where nobody had a 
trumpet or drum sets or any of t 
you're just scratching records and 
bining snippets of music. The person 
who had the most prestige in the com- 
ity was the one who had the best 
у 1 skills. You'd get on the mike and 

тар extemporaneously about anything. 
Somebody would give you a topic, and 
the rhymes would have to get more so- 
phisticated. You know, like in the begin- 
ning, you could say, “Jack and Jill went 
up the hill ro fetch a рай of water. Stupid 
Jill forgot her pills and now they've got a 
daughter.” But then you would move on 
to something more advanced—you'd 
battle. And that's how you'd gain posi 
tion in the community—with a more in- 
tricate lyrical style. And that upped the 


mi 


“Rap music puts people 
in leadership who 
would not ordinarily 
be allowed to speak, 
rap, rhyme, sing or 
say anything.” 


ante for everybody. 

PLAYBOY: What's the difference between 
rap and hip-hop? 

SOULJAH: It used to be called hip-hop: 
the media started calling it rap. But hip- 


hop is more of the culture—the clothes, 
the language. 

PLAYBOY: Can rap music withstand a 
commercial culture 


SOULJAH: There will always be an under- 
ground aspect to rap music. A good por- 
tion of rap will be consumed and pack- 
aged and altered, but there will still be 
ап underground rap movement that 
young people will respect and consume. 
Take a guy like Ice Cube, who started 
off in N.W.A. At first it was basically, fuck 
the police, fuck the bitches and fuck any- 
body who wants to fuck with me. Then 
he became political and still sold two m 
lion albums. He's an underground 
ring that we love Ice Cube 
PLAYBOY: Has commercialization affected 
тар music? 
SOULJAH: 
extent it hasit. {fa black brother comes 
into commercialized hip-hop music and 


To some extent it has, to some 


uses his position to empower other 
African people, that's fine with me. But if 


he comes in just to espouse the line of 


the white record company and to use the 
money only for individual gain—if he 
takes по responsibility or has no alle- 
giance і the institutions of his commu- 
nity—that is shameful. 

PLAYBOY: What's the most important dis- 
tinction between hip-hop and R&B? 
SOULIAH: In hip-hop you have the emer- 
gence of the black masculine voice. With 
1 lot of R&B, you see black men being 
accepted by record companies only if 
they have soft hands, soft, high voices 
and more of an effeminate appearance. 
Hip-hop is like Michael Jackson in re- 
verse. You know what I’m saying? There 
е not too many people in hip-hop who 
would like to look like Michael Jackson. 
PLAYBOY: Why? 

SOULJAH: He's more of a repulsive type 
of figure, aesthetically and physically. 
But you have to give him a lot of credit 
because, despite the fact that he's repul- 
sive to me, he is extremely talented. 
PLAYBOY: How is Michael Jackson 
repulsive? 

souuar: It is repulsive for a black man 
to have his skin lightened, because that 
means he has such deep-seated self-ha- 
wed that he doesn’t even love his own 
complexion. He wants to be somebody 


else. Then he makes a song about how it 
doesn't mauer if you're black or white. 
Well, doesn't matter, he wouldn't be 


spending all this money to alter his real- 
ity. Most young black people think that is 


terrible, When I was in Zambia, a lot of 
the young brothers said. “Michael Jack- 
son is quite a disappointment.” T said, 


“Oh, yeah—and not just to you.” 
PLAYBOY: Do you sce Michael Jackson as 
a victim of racial pressure? 
SOULJAH: Yes. As any entertainer can tell 
you, when you move up, you become 
more distrustful. Not only do white peo- 
ple exploit you but black people try to 
position themselves so they can benefit 
from your good fortune. So I think black 
people see Michael Jackson as somebody 
who is double trouble—one, because 
he’s black and his mind 15 altered by the 
system of supremacy and racism, and, 
two, because he's an entertainer and he's 
wealthy, which means you can't even get 
close enough to talk to him. You can't es 
plain to him how people go about loving 
themselves and their people, You cant 
explain what he can do to expand his 
mind and his horizons so he can be more 
comfortable with his African manners. 
If 1 could change one thing about 
blacks in entertainment, it would be the 


spotlight have a tremendous amou 
power. But if you were to ask them about 
the last book they read, or about a per- 
son or topic of significance to the / 
community, they wouldn't be able to 
come up with an answer, 

PLAYBOY: But that's also true for white 


погапсе, Some people who enjoy the 


61 


PLAYBOY 


62 


entertainers. 
SOULJAH: Right, but the difference has to 
do with power. For example, the other 
day I was arguing with some black kids 
at a teen summit. I was saying that 
don't think hip-hop artists should adver- 
tise St. Ides malt liquor. And some of the 
kids said, “White kids are the ones who 
always getting drunk. White people 
drink it, too.” Well, my concern as an 
African woman is not what white people 
do. My concern is that African children 
cannot aflord to be drunk. Not in а 
genocidal war. How can you be drunk? 
How can you even assess your position 
if you are intoxicated or if youre on 
drugs? You can't. 
PLAYBOY: A moment ago you said that 
Ice Cube was а beloved underground 
tist. But he's also a pitchman for St. 
Ides. How can you admire his work and 
at the same time disapprove of hip-hop 
Lists promoting liquor? 
SOULJAH: Within our community, there 
exist many contradictions. Ice Cube 
underground artist, but that doesn't 
mean he's evolved in a political sense. 
Yes, I love him, but you can love your 
wife and still hate certain things about 
her. So, yes, I put pressure on Ice Cube 
not to sell liquor to our children. He 
would probably respond that he’s only 
selling it to people who are over twenty- 
one. But I would respond that, because 
of his strong appeal, he's really appeal- 
ing to everyone from seven-year-old 
children to thirty-year-old adults. But I 
still love Ice Cube. And I hope that when 
you print this, you don't distort that fact. 
PLAYBOY: You just called this a genocidal 
war. Do you realize that people will find 
it easy to dismiss that as hyperbole and 
rhetoric? 
SOULJAH: Any time the sentiments of 
African people are expressed, it's called 
rhetoric. The same thing happened 
when I was with New Jersey Senator Bill 
Bradley on the Today Show. | said, “How 
do you find a common ground in an 
all-white Senate?” But later on, the other 
social activist on the show, who was 
white, called my opinion just “rheto 
PLAYBOY: But when you say genocide, it 
implies a vision of black people being 
completely wiped out. 
SOULJAH: Sure. ГИ giv 
that PLAYBOY readers can really sink their 
teeth into: AIDS. AIDS has been poi 
wayed as а white gay male disease, but 
African people аге the number-one 
group destroyed by it—African people 
in America and on the continent of 
Africa. African women, in particular. are 
the group most likely to die from the dis- 
€ When you look at the statistics 
coming out of the world health boards, 
you will find projections of a hundred 
million AIDS deaths in Africa by the yc; 
2000. [The World Health Organization 
estimates 40,000,000 deaths. | 
» now the point becomes this: Take 
а nice hip-hop group, Salt-N-Pepa. Nice 


girls. Beautiful. I love them. But here 
they arc, doing a concert to raise moncy 
for the G Mens’ Health Crisis for 
AIDS. They are using their influence as 
African women but ignoring their own 
people who are disproportionately af- 
fected by AIDS. 
PLAYBOY: How and when did you for 
your views about societ 
SOULJAH: My mother and father were di- 
vorced real early. So I ended up in the 
projects with my mother. Гуе lived in а 
lot of different places. The only thing 
that stays the same thematically in all the 
places I've lived is that I was always ei- 
ther a welfare recipient or lived in Sec- 
tion Eight housing. | was always con- 
nected to government programs. 

When | lived in the projects, I was sur- 
rounded all the time by fear and a lack of 
understanding—fear of being victimized 
and a lack of understanding of how it 
came to pass that we all ended up there. 

To give you a specific example, the 
woman who lived upstairs from us killed 
her husband. There was this whole men- 
tal trauma for me in understanding that. 
Then, in the apartment next door, there 


“Underclass African 
children ave sent into a 
European-centered educa- 
Попа! system, and they get 
lost and squashed by the 
third or fourth grade.” 


was the lady who used to baby-sit for us. 
That woman an alcoholic. She was 
plagued by the conditions of that society. 

The majority of the women in the 
building had no husbands. And the few 
men who were in the community w 
basically passed around—you know, one 
day he's going out with one person's 
mother, the ay he's going out with 
another person's mother. And some- 
where on the other side of town, he had 
three or four children and he hadn't 
even seen their mother. 

Do you understand what I'm saying? 
You're constantly surrounded by de- 
bauchery. You can't understand why it’s 
like that, and you have this fear of end- 
up that way yourself. When you 
ом up in that environment and you 
don't know any history, you develop а 
self-hatred. Everything is so negative 
that you naturally blame it on the people 
n the environment. It goes all the way to. 
the fundamentals, beginning with when 
ou get to school and start i 
those Dick and Jane stories have nothi 
то do with the life of that child—the se 
narios, the houses, the block. “This is the 


cop. When you see him in the morning. 
say hello. If you need to ask a question 
about the traffic, he'll give you the an- 
Not in the community we grew up 
iderclass African children are 
sent into а European-cemered educa- 
tional system, and they get lost and 
squashed by the third or fourth grade— 
that is, unless they have extremely 
strong parents constanily narrating their 
way through life. 

PLAYBOY: What are some of the oth 
influences? 

SOULJAH: Because of television, a black 
boy in Bed-Stuy [Bedford-Stuyvesant in 
Brooklyn] will believe that having а par- 
cular car or a particular house would 
make him а Бецег person. A black boy 
in Bed-Stuy may believe that. having 
à light-skinned would make hi 
more macho, more successful guy 
A black child Bed-Stuy may think 
that Jesus Christ is white and, therefore, 
that whites are superior and are to be 
worshiped. А black child in Bed-Stuy 
may think that it is all right to sell drugs 
to another black child because of a dog- 
eat-dog American ethic that says the 
strong are on top and the weak are on 
the bottom. 

PLAYBOY: That's a pretty cynical view. Do 
other blacks criticize your views? 
SOULJAH: Oh, yeah. I think those who 
are now criticizing me the ones who 
never took the time to explore and un- 
derstand their own history. So they just 
condemn black people. Every move they 
make reflects the fact that they hate 
themselves and their people. 

That is my description of somebody 
like Clarence Thomas. Here you have a 
black man born in poverty and raised by 
nuns. How can a nun raise a strong 
African man in an oppressive society 
where white is superior? It's impossible. 
Thomas now sits on the Supreme Court 
and is likely 10 uphold legislation that is 
more destructive to African people than 

to the white supremacists with whom 
he shares the bench 
PLAYBOY: You talk a lot about white 
supremacy. Do you think that whites and 
blacks are capable of seeing things the 
same way? 
SOULJAH: | have a song that | did with 
Ice Cube, and one of my verses is: 


“1 don't care what you say or think 
Cause Sister Souljah got a right to speak. 
1 don't care how yon feel or what, 
Cause Sister Souljah don't give a fuck 
If my world’s black and yours is while, 
How the hell could we think alike? 

1 got big brown eyes so 1 can see 
And my тта don't play tricks on me." 


White people try to force their percep- 
ions on African people, and I have mar- 
keted the concept of being self-sufficient 
10 à billion-dollar corporation. 

PLAYBOY: Meaning your record contract 
with Epic [a division of Sony]. The 
ton experience might help your carcer, 


WHAT WILL YOUR UNDERWEAR 
BE DOING A YEAR FROM NOW? 


CHANCES ARE, Е THEYRE 


EVD UNDERWEAR, 
ҮШ STL WE THE 


Because our comforts are made to last. 


Unlike most of our competitors, 


we're picky about cotton. & 


VERY НСИ. < 


ls Ba 
That's why we COMB OUR COTTON ко опу 


the longer fiber remains. 


m The rest we reject. Then we knit 
M 


б jt more of this incredibly soft, 
incredibly strong fiber into every square inch 
of our briefs, so they'll hold up longer. 

And our viaistbands are made with 


WASH-RESISTANT ШІН = 
so they won't get ) 


| Ш 
flabby in middle age. ` е 

These аге just three of the many ane 
BVD underwear are still as good 


Pn 
as gold long after others have 


as ; 
started second careers. Sp», 

4 
polishing silver. TO 


ШЕ 
A 


PLAYBOY 


64 


but before that your album, 360 Degrees 
of Power, didn’t sell very well. Are you 
disappointed? 

SOULJAH: I'm an attractive young wom- 
an. ИТ wanted to make money, I could 
just put on a miniskirt and a tube top, 
shake my ass, put out a video and I'm 
straight. It's so easy to make money т 
America off sex, drugs and violence. 

1 had those options. I had complete 
creative control over my album. But 1 
wasn't interested in that. I wasn't doing 
this to become onaire. My goal was 
to distribute a message that 1 thought 
was essential for African people—a mes- 
sage that would tell them what was going 
on, why it was going on and how they 
could, as individuals, form a powerful 
collective. That was my objective Clear- 
ly, I'm satisfied 

You know, Гт not at Sony every day 
saying, "Ship the records, ship the 
records, ship the records.” I'm running 
ound being an activist and I'm perfect- 
ly satisfied with that. And 1 see bootleg 
copies of the album everywhere. 
PLAYBOY: Siill, Sony must be disappoint- 
ed with the sales. 

SOULJAH: Well, if the record 
ning on the video channels and the com- 
pany itself doesn't even want to be affili- 
ated with it, then of course it won't sell. 
You'd think that when this whole Cl 
ton thing broke, the money people 
would have shipped more records to the 
stores. But Sony didn’t do that. The pol- 
ics arc considered to be so severe that 
the money is no longer worth it. They 
won't ship the album, not even to make a 
buck. [Sony told м.лувоу that “the views 
expressed by Sister Souljah are not 
shared nor endorsed by every Epic 
Records employee. But as a company 
we will continue to support Sister Soul- 
jah and 360 Degrees of Power through all 
avenues of exposure and will continue to 
ship her albums to stores."] 
PLAYBOY: That's hard to believe. Surely, 
Sony would take advantage of your sud- 
den national exposure if it thought 
could make money off it 
SOULIAH: No, there has been nothing 
difler from them in relation to Sister 
Souljah as an artist. In fact, when 
whole thing started, | went to Black Mu- 
sic [a Sony division]. The first thing they 
told me was, “We're not paying for that 
hotel room for your press conference. 
This is not promotional. [Sony told 
PLAYBOY that at the time of the press con- 
ference it had made arrangements to re- 
se Souljah for her press-confer- 
ence accommodations.] We don't know 
what you have going on with the presi- 
dential contender, but this has nothing 
to do with Sony." Thats how bleak it is. 


"t run- 


n- 


President. That maybe he'll then have а 
beef with them or something. 


PLAYBOY: Maybe they just don't think 
your album is very good. 


SOULJAH: | would argue with that strong- 
ly. There's a point at which money con- 
fronts ethics—when it threatens the fab- 
ric of white supremacy. Lam political—I 
can mobilize people—and Sony can't ad- 
dress that. Historically, people who were 
considered (10 the corporate sys- 
tem have been attacked. Paul Robe- 
son. He was articulate, he was a scholar. 
yet һе was ostracized and made into a 
red scare, and he died de- 
The corporate world is more 
ruthless than anything else. Hey, listen, 
en before the Clinton incident, I was 
nbroiled in a corporatewide c 
sy over my Sister Souljah logo. I had to 
explain to the Jewish people at Sony that 
the S.S. in my logo had nothing to do 
with the Holocaust. 

PLAYBOY: Maybe they feel threatened by 
you. Not every black artist speaks out the 
way you do. 

SOULIAH: True, but not all black artists 
see that as their role. I do, and they are 
g to isolate me. But it won't work. 
How big a following do you 


illions of people believe in 


“Pm nol al Sony 
every day saying, 
‘Ship the records, ship the 
records, ship the records.’ 
Гт running around 
being an activist.” 


m. When the white press tries to 
atiack black leaders, we wind up loving 
those leaders even more. We know they 
must have done something right. You 
cannot tell kids in this country anything 
about a rapper. Rappers are the most 
powerful entity anywhere for young 
people. The Washington Post could run 
five months of stories against Big Daddy 
Kane, and when Big Daddy Kane hit 
town, there would be ten thous: 
ple inside the concert hall and ten thou- 
1 more trying to get in 

PLAYBOY: In terms of black leaders, how 
does Jesse Jackson fit in? He clearly be- 
lieves there's some value in i 
work with white people within 
toral situation 
SOULIAH: Jesse and I are different in that 
regard. I think the most valuable thing I 
can do is to work with African people 
ble thing he 
сап do is to work with all people. I be- 
ve that the condition of African people 
is too severe for us to divert our atten- 
tion to other communities, because our 
people really are in a state of em 
су—а state of absolute crisis, And so I 


concentrate on that. But Jesse Jackson 
has the right to concentrate on whatever 
he wants to as a man, and I do what 1 
want to аза wom: 
PLAYBOY: But isn't Jackson also searching 
for what he calls а common ground? 
SOULJAH: And you notice that he hasn't 
found one. To me. Jesse Jackson is the 
epitome of the black man who has tried 
his hardest to get along with white peo- 
ple and serve the white community, 1 
mean that legitimately, not sarcastically 
But then if Jesse has Sister Souljah at his 
conference, some while journalists will 
forget everything that he's done and 
terize him—so dishonestly—as a 
Is absurd. I don't have any hope 
or faith in white Americ: 
You are adamant т 
sm of society. Are you as 
yourself? 

SOULIAH: Absolutely. At the end of cach 
day I ask myself what I have achieved 
and what more I could have done. I see 
myself in all of my weaknesses and ac- 
tively try to correct the things about me 
that are wrong. 

PLAYBOY: Are you an easy person to get 
along with: 
SOULJAH: | think Ги a nice ре 
course. 

PLAYBOY: How do you reconcile that with 
all the anger? 
SOULJAH; It's a different value system. 
African values are based on balance, har- 
mony, reciprocity, things of that nature. 
And in order to maintain balance, you 
have to be angry when you're supposed 
to be and happy when you're supposed 
to be. For some reason, people think that 
if you fight for truth and justice you 
dont, for example, like to have sex. Or if 
you like to have sex, then you cant be- 
lieve in truth and justice. Or if you make 
speeches, then you don't like to go to 
parties. And if you like to go to parties, 
then you're not serious. All of that is 
bullshit 10 me. 

1 mean, Гт а dancer. And I like to 
go to parties. I love my people. But Em 
still an orator, Fm still angry, Um still 
productive. 

PLAYBOY: Do you get the feeling people 
are trying to push you into one slot or 
another? 

SOULIAH: Sure, because they have pre- 
meditated agendas. But 1 can take the 
heat. What do I have to live with besides 
my life? I dont even believe that, spirit 
ally, somebody can take my life. They 
n kill me physically. IF we die fighting 
righteous cause, we're rewarded 
spiritually for that. 

PLAYBOY: In one of your songs you talk 
about fighting with actual ammunition 
What's that all about? 

= Ignoramuses dont read the 
In the song The Final Solution: 
Slavery's Back in Effect, 1 say: 


your 
4 оп 


ha 


son, of 


“Brothers, go gel guns and pack up on 
ammunition, 


|. Finally. 
The Perfect 
Curve. 


© 1992 Warner-Lambert Co. 


72 


Tracer is the first razor 
witha blade that flexes. 
It traces every curve 
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PLAYBOY 


Now that they see that it’s a critical con: 
dition. 
Racism was here but they didn’t take it 
seriously 
And then they said that | was crazy. 
Violence escalating and it's sad to see 
So many brothers being killed by the 
enemy 
Mothers and daughters, fathers and 


Why can't they see we couldn't win by 
the gun? 

1 told. you how to win but now it's too 
late 

The enemy's on the rise and he's sealed 
your fate 

Brain is the weapon, technology second 
The war drum is sounding, the tool is 
the recond. 

The will and the 
exact man 
Giving a hand to his brother man.” 


kill of the black man, 


Um saying that if we had been unified 
and organized—if we knew our history, 
learned computer technology, used our 
brains—we wouldn't be in this condition. 
So now you guys are going to get guns, 
but you can't win because you're militar- 
ily outnumbered 

My whole album is geared toward get- 
ting African people to study and to 
actively organize for self-sufficiency. And 
that is more threatening to white people 
than brothers getting guns 


PLAYBOY: Some pcople claim that all 
you're really concerned about is self-pro 
motion and advancing your career. 
SOULIAH: Most of the magazines and 
talk about the 
egotistical, sell-promoting Sister 
Souljah—which means that they really 
have a problem with the fact that I'm 
competent and self-assured. Am I sup- 
posed to be more humble or something? 
Humble about what? 

PLAYBOY: Are you receiving any support 


newspapers overconli 


dent 


from black organizations? 
SOULJAH: 
received calls from Congress. 
black women's 
coalitions, from the Christian communi- 
ty, the Islamic community, the Hebrew 
community 

PLAYBOY: Who are the black leaders you 
respect? 

SOULIAH: Respect is a serious word 
PLAYBOY: Which ones do you think peo- 
ple should look to for wisdom, for ideas? 
SOULJAH: I try to tell young people not to 
look for leaders but to try to identify the 
qualities in themselves—to develop the 
talents and skills that they have—so they 
don’t become dependent on somebody 
else's talents and skills. Even іп my al- 
bum I say, "Please do not worship Sister 
Souljah,” because that's not what I want 
Instead, examine and study the ideas 
Then keep the ones you agree with and 
throw out the ones you don't agree with 


Overwhelming support. I've 


I've re- 
from 


ceived support 


And keep moving on. 

PLAYBOY: What prominent black people 
have played an aggressive and construc- 
tive role? 

SOULJAH: Oh, sec, if you say it that way 
Jesse Jackson, Louis Farrakhan, C. Ver- 
Mason, Alton From the 
past, my favorite people are Harriet 
Tubman, Adam Clayton Powell and Mal- 
colm X. I think that Harriet Tubman was 


non Maddox. 


the strongest person in the history of 
African people in this country. She was 
an activist. She took action. She was a 
soldier. She was a warrior 
PLAYBOY: And what about Martin Luther 
King? 
SOULJAH: Martin Luther King did a lot of 
constructive things. One of the 
powerful legacies that he left us was the 
concept of economic collectivity—the 
ability to pull your support away from 
corporations and systems that don't sup- 
port justice. 

1 think that concept is applicable now. 
It could be implemented quite easily И 
somebody had common sense and the 
persistence to expose the relationship 
between corporate America—the corpo- 
rations, the subsidiaries, the products— 
and the oppression of African people. 
We could then dissociate ourselves from 
cooperating with our own oppression. 
Powerful. 
PLAYBOY: But you make records lor a 
company that is Japanese-owned. 


most 


SOULJAH: But who wins? You listen to my 
album, then ask me who wins—Sony or 
Souljah? Souljah wins, Souljah wins 

I don't feel like Sony is doing anything 
for me. Do you know how much Sony 
equipment—radios, Walkmans—African 
people consume? Probably more than 
anybody else. So I don't feel like Sony's 
doing a damned thing for me. IF any- 
thing, they'll get the pleasure later on— 
after somebody spills my guts all over 
the floor—of being affiliated economi- 
cally with my image 
PLAYBOY: You don't have a death wish, 
do you? 
SOULIAH: I have a life wish. But Г under- 
stand the nature of evil in this society 
I understand who controls what, and 
1 understand that people in power will 
go to length 10 maintain their 
position I know what 


any 

Um not 
the consequences are 
PLAYBOY: Isn't that frightening to you? 
souna: Из life. It's like Martin Luther 
King said: Any person would like to live 
a long life. Malcolm X had four beautiful 
daughters and a beautiful wife. Do you 
think he wanted to get killed that way? 
He didn’t, But it’s the love that you have 
for your people that makes you sacrifice 
yourself 

1 mean, that concept goes way back to 
Jesus Christ so, hey, what can you do? 
You gotta do what you gotta do. It also 


naive. 


says in the Bible, То whom much is giv- 
en, much is expected. So Гуе been 
blessed in a lot ol ways. I know that ev- 
erything I have is by the grace of God 
Which is why I don't fear men. And I 
don't fear Bill Clinton because he's not 
Its like the Koran says: God 
is the best of planners. So you can make 
all the plans you want, but ultimately 
there's a force greater than yourself 
Another thing that white America took 
from African people is our spiritual pow- 


in control. 


er. Heel that, spiritually, Гиз very power- 
ful and very protected. So I don't fear 
evil, because I feel I'm greater than evil. 
I feel that good conquers evil. 1 think 
that if people were more aware of their 
spiritual power, they would have less 
sullering under this white supremacist 
system 

PLAYBOY: Do you d 
the white man's reli 
SOULJAH: Oh, no, no. As African people, 
we have created many beautiful things 
that have been corrupted by others. But 
the worst thing we could do is to throw 
out something just because it’s been cor- 
rupted. What we need to do is to try to 
regain it in its original form. And so 1 
study Christianity. I study Islam. I read 
the Bible and the Koran. Both books 
offer values that can help me to guide 
my life 

PLAYBOY: Was Christ black? 

SOULJAH: Absolutely 


miss Christianity as 
ion? 


PLAYBOY: Wasn't he also Jewish? 
SOULJAH: You can be Jewish and black 
The Jews were black. 


hat's not startling 
at all. Didn't Israel just airlift a whole 
bunch of black Jews—the Ethiopi 
They're Africans. They're Jews 
PLAYBO\ 
tion. Is that ever going to be роз 
болман: With equal power, sure. 
PLAYBOY: Is it desirable? 

souLJAH: It depends. It's something I've 
never experienced. I don't think any 
person of color has ever experienced in- 
tegration with white people and main 
tained power. 

PLAYBOY: Do you see separation as а way 
of regaining power? 

souran: 1 don't call it physical separa- 
tion because, clearly, we're here. But 1 
see it ау mental separation. | say to 
young Afiican women all the time, “You 
cannot have Erica Kane and Joan Collins 
as your role models. These are оп 
mensional, materialistic, money 
bing white bitches, totally divorced from 
your experience, totally coming from 
someplace else. You can't want to be like 
them.” 

PLAYBOY: Well, what about—and we'll 
use your words—money-grubbing black 
bitches? You wouldn't want them to be 
role models either, would you? 
SOULJAH: No. But because I study histo- 
ry, 1 know how these relationships came 
about. African men and women were 


ns? 


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on to rac 


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2% 


together in Africa, and African men and 
women were together during slavery 
But in 1992, African men and women 
are sometimes separated by the fact that 
black women now have the values of 
white women, and black men have the 
values of white men 

PLAYBOY: You've been critical of some 
white feminists. 

SOULIAH: Yes. For some reason, it seems 
like a lot of white feminists confuse the 
empowerment of women with sexuality 
And that causes chaos. 

PLAYBOY: Explain that 

SOULJAH: A lot of the white feminists I've 
met have been lesbians who seem more 
interested in getting you to adopt their 
sexual lifestyle than in getting you to 
empower yourself as a woman, so that 
you could empower your family. That's 
problematic 

PLAYBOY: Isn't that only one small part 
of the feminist movement? 

SOULJAH: | said that is what 1 have 
experienced 

PLAYBOY: What about the other parts of 
the white feminist movement, equal pay 
for cqual work and: 
SOULJAH; ls like іп my video: When 
they say, “Do you know any good white 
people?” I say, “1 haven't met them.” 
PLAYBOY: Come on, you haven't met any 
good white people? 

SOULJAH; I haven't met them. 

PLAYBOY: Never in your whole life? 
There are no good white people? 
SOULJAH: What I said is that I haven't 
met them, Even when I was at the Uni: 
versity of Salamanca, I was mostly with 
white people. They were very uice to 
me, but nice has nothing to do with 
good. We all ate dinner together, we 
went places together and so on. But did 
they give a dam at justice? 1 don't 
think so. I don't think any white person 
who is not constructively fighting against 
injustice should sleep casy on any given 
night. You should have fear and guilt 
and remorse about creating a world 
that's so destructive to people of color. 
And if you don’t, it means you don't val 
uc the lives of people who have not 
emerged from your culture. 

PLAYBOY: You say “you” а lot when you 
talk about whites creating this situation 
Lets take someone like my mother. She 
d in a garment factory for fifty 
How did she create this world that 
you are talking about? 
SOULJAH: Anybody can create this world 
by simply remaining silent or by remain- 
ing passive. 

PLAYBOY: But she didn't. She went on 
civil rights marches 

SOULJAH: Из an unfair question because 
I don't know your mother 

PLAYBOY: The point is, how can you put 
the blame on all white people? A lot of 
whites feel impotent and not in control 
SOULIAH: Right. But just because you 
feel impotent doesn't mean that you are 
A lot of people use 


potence as an 


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PLAYBOY 


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excuse to do nothing. | think white peo- 
ple don't ever want to look at what they 
did and what they still do. Ever. And 
they never want to take responsibility for 
their collective acts of destruction. When 
1 see white people, I don't trust them. 
None of them 

PLAYBOY: You're obviously ir sted in 
some kind of dialog, or you wouldn't 
have agreed to this interview. But how 
would you expect a white person to re- 
late to any of this? 

SOULJAH: If you're not really concerned 
with justice, then you won't relate to it. И 
you are, you have to ask yourself a few 
questions. One. are you willing to stand 
for a cause that is unpopular with your 
own kind? Two, if you're willing to do so, 
are you willing to sacrifice the things that 
have made you comfortable in white 
merica? Three, you dedicated to 
changing the fabric of this society? Par 
ticipating in a movement not for black 
power but for what is right? Г believe 
very sincerely there needs to be а mass 
movement, but I have absolutely no faith 
that it will happen. 

PLAYBOY: But you will at least concede 
that good white people have existed in 
history. 

SOULJAH: I guess they did. But this is like 
the discussion 1 had the other day with 
this white guy on KISS radio. We had 
this same discussion. He got so frust 
ed. He said, “What about John Brown? 
He was a good white person.” I said, 
“OK, пом ask yourself why you had to 
go all the way back to the 1800s to come 
up with an example. That's a problem. 
How come you can't tell me right now 
who the good white people are?” 
PLAYBOY: Because you always shoot them 
down. 

SOULJAH: No. Because he couldn't th 
of one 

PLAYBOY: Bullshit. 1 personally don't feel 
that Im a bad white man. By saying 
these things, you actually let white racists 
off the hook. 

SOULJAH: How? 

PLAYBOY: Because if you say that good 
liberal white people really don't make a 
difference, then you're telling people 
they don't even have to try. 

SOULJAH: No, I put pressure on white 
liberals by sa 


k 


other words, if a white liberal says, “I 
work at the Saturday school with 


Why dont you get people t0 under- 
stand that they shouldn't vote for this 
person because it only reinforces the 
policies and the system, the network of 
racism.” So Гуе challenged white liber- 
als. l've put pressure on them to do the 
things that will really make a difference 
PLAYBOY: What's the basic message? 

SOULJAH: | dedicated 10 teaching 
African children what they can do to im- 


prove their own lives. At the same time, I 
think that the government is responsible 
for providing reparations to African 
people for centuries of unpaid labo 
That's something they should be pres- 
sured for. We should pressure society to 
do what society is supposed to do, be- 
cause, in the interim, we're still paying 
taxes, you know? And no, I don't see 
government assistance as a handout, 1 
see that as something every group of 
people does in one way or another— 
whether it's ап S&L or a black girl on 
125th Street or a white farmer. 

PLAYBOY: Many of the articles about you 
say you have an apocalyptic vision in 
which the whole system has to blow 
apart before it can come together again. 
Can any of what you're talking about be 
accomplished without violence: 
SOULJAH: Everything I'm desc 
be done now, but it probably 
done without violencc. Why? Because 
when African people organize them- 
selves to be self-sufficient, we probably 
will be attacked by white America. The 
Rodney King thing, for instance. People 
watched and endured that film ev 
night on television and did nothing 
about it. They believed so much in the 
system—even though it has never served 
them—that they actually waited for a 
verdict. Us not a question of whether or 
not I think America will erupt in vio- 
lence. Irs a question of what America 
will do as African people strive for selt- 
sufficiency. 

PLAYBOY: But there are blacks who have 
made it—black athletes, black singers, 
black professors, black attorneys. Why 
would white icans, as you suggest, 
resent that succes: 
SOULJAH: Because black athletes and 
black entertainers don't alter the power 
equation. Ultimately, for every quarter 1 
make, Sony makes about eight dollars. 
[Sony would not confirm these num- 
bers] Entertainers are по threat 
They're not involved in politics, which 
means they don't affect the power equa- 
tion for the masses of people. They just 
entertain and Ксер people laughing. 
PLAYBOY: What about Arsenio Hall? 
SOULJAH: Arscnio Hall is an important 
person because he’s on television and 
has the opportunity to provide a forum 
for people who would not ordinarily be 
heard. I hope he regards that as serious- 
ly as I do. 

PLAYBOY: Why y critical of 
him as you are of whites who 't ded- 
lives to changing society 
ng justice? 

SOUUAM: [Laughs] Did Arsenio do some- 
thing wrong? 


g сап 
n't be 


Г you a 


he done enough right 
Isn't that your problem with a lot of 
white people—that their passivity is no 
excuse: 
SOULJAH: The difference is white people 
are in power. Arsenio has a difficult job 
because you want to be strong as an 


DeBeers 


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Hg 


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PLAYBOY 


72 


African male, but you also want to be 
employed. 

What about Eddie Murphy? 

1 think that Eddie Murphy is 


evolving. 
PLAYBOY: How about Michael Jordan? 
Doesn't he wield a lot of clout? 

SOULJAM: It's nonthreatening for Mi- 
chael Jordan to have а contract with a 
sneaker company because, even though 
he's going to have a whole lot more 


money than any other African person, 
the corporation is going to have ten 
times that amount. 

Let's say we examine corporate Amer- 
ica and detach ourselves from the prod- 
ucts and the corporations that lend 
themselves to racism. Now Г am affecting 
the power equation, the consumption of 
products, the ability of these corpora- 
tions to profit in an economic recession. 
Now I'ma threat, and I don't know what 
America will do under that threat. If I 
used history, 1 would say that America 
would kill me under that threat. 
PLAYBOY: But you're still going 10 u 
SOULJAH: Of course. I have no choice. I 
am interested in seeing a society where 
people can coexist based on equal power 
and equal respect for one another's cul- 
tural contributions. | am interested in 
secing a society based on equal military 
power, so that people are not subject 10 
physical abuse. A society based on the 
equal distribution of resources, so that 
people ate not subject to subsistence and 
Slavery 1 am interested in a society 
where justice is the law of the land for 
everybody. The problem is that so long 
пе you think of Africa you 
think of baldheaded babies, of bloated 
stomachs and 
any place 
respect. 
PLAYBOY: You're an impassioned person. 
Is there a lighter side to Sister Souljah? 
SOULJAH: I like to cat. Chocolate and 
popcorn. 

PLAYBOY: Have you always had this hair- 
style? How does it work? 
SOULJAH: It’s an African flat twist. You 
might have seen something like it in 
"he Ten Commandments. 

Is it hard to do? 
SOULJAH: It takes about halfan hour, and 
I get it done in Harlem. NBC got pissed 
when I didn't show up for an inte 
because I had to get my hair done. The 
people said they had a hairdresser, 1 
said, “Oh, по!" They'd have me looking 
like those 
г them. 


I'm going to stay married. 
PLAYBOY: How do you know 
tried ii 
SOULIAH: I'm committed to the concept. 
PLAYBOY: Well, it's easier said than done. 
SOULJAH: Yeah, so I've heard 

PLAYBOY: Any more personal stuff? What 
do you get offon? 


atil you've 


ЅОШЈАН: I love to dance. I'm a good 
dancer. 1 like movies. 
PLAYBOY: What are your favorite films? 


SOULJAH: I liked Oliver Stone's J.EK. I 
liked John Singleton's Boyz n the Hood. 
PLAYBOY: What about Spike Lee's 
movies? 


SOULJAH: No, they don't really touch me. 
1 don't know, maybe something's mis: 
ing. I support him, 1 always go to his 
movies. But they just don't touch my 
heart, my soul, my spirit. 

PLAYBOY: You've criticized the We Are the 
World-type entertainment, But wouldn't 
you like things to be like that? 

SOULJAH: If it were real. But it's not real. 
It's fantasy. It's like the Brady Bunch. We 
Are the World is a joke, because at whose 
expense are we the world? At my ex- 
pense? Then I don't like that. If we are 
really the world—meaning all of the 
world and all its resources are accessible 
to each of us—then I have no problem 
with that. I don’t think any African who's 
political is hostile just for the sake of be- 
ing hostile. Mostly, everybody 1 know 
who has been politicized as an African is 


“Pm isolated. Ги not 
included in this mess. 
But when you make 
enlerlamment your way 
of life, you're bound 
to fall into a hole.” 


that way because they love their people 
so much—not because of hate but be- 
cause of love. 

1 have a song on my album called State 
of Accommodation: Why Aren't You Angry 
about all the things oppressed people 


consider to be normal. Like jail. That's a 
normal concept to my people, but it is 
not normal to me. 1 would fight against 
that. When I watch Roots and see a white 
slavemaster selling a child—and then the 
black woman breaks down and cries— 
that is not normal to me. If somebody 
tried to sell my baby, I'd kill them. No 
question. Instantly. Because now its 
clearly a question of me or you. And if a 
white slavemaster tried to sleep with me, 
I'd kill him, too. Rape is not normal to 
me. I do not want to be raped and I will 
try to destroy you before you can destroy 
me. That to me is sane. operating 
with that is insane. I'm against cooperat- 
ing with pa 
PLAYBOY: Don't some rap songs celebrate 
violence against women? 

SOULJAH: А lot of men don't have respect 
for women. But women don't have re- 


spect for themselves. The thing I find 
most interesting in these videos is that 
many of those naked black women who 
you see sliding up and down on poles 
е not even being paid. So you can't 
base any of this on the premise of eco- 
nomic exploitation because they do that 
for free. They want to do th This is 
how they see themselves as women. 

My campaign within the hip-hop in- 
dustry is 10 gel African women to act 
more respectful of themselves. They 
cant keep pointing to the men as a 
source of their problems—not when I go 
to a concert and see women standing 
backstage with their toothbrush and 
panties in a bag, getting ready to sleep 
with somebody just because he's an en- 
tertainer. And they don't even know the 
guy's real name. Never met his mama. 
Never been to his house. Don't know 
nothing about him. Then they'll call his 
management company for the next six 
months because they're pregnant. And 
they wonder why the guys don’t take 
them seriously. Oh, please! 

So that's how I feel about it. I tend to 
be much hai isters, but harder in 
a compassionate way. Гуе made a lot of 
mistakes myself a wol nd ГИ 
share my mistakes. But as women, we 
have a responsibility to correct the 
things that we do that add to our own 
oppression 
PLAYBOY: This whole industry is si 
SOULJAH: Sex, drugs, rock and ro 
lence. Very filthy business. 

PLAYBOY: And yet, in the middle of it, 
you try to find some political purity 
SOULJAH: I'm isolated. I'm not included 
in this mess. | have a whole life. I go to 
Sony to transact business. But when you 
make entertainment your way of life. 
you're bound to fall into a hole. 

PLAYBOY: People are now expectin: 
some leadership to come out of tod: 
music and musicians. 

SOULJAH: There will be some leadership. 
Out of most of them there will be enter- 
tainment. 

PLAYBOY: You say you're isolated. But is 
there ever a time when you just feel like 
saying, “Damn, I'm tired"? 

SOULJAH: Well, I think W. E. B. Du Bois 
sums that up in The Souls of Black Folk. 
He says that as an African person in this 
white society vou h ring 
souls. You have to interpret everything 
и least two ways. So while, personally. 
I just want to live a nice quiet life, get 
married and have children, 1 апа un: 
to do only that because of the legacy 1 
have inherited. I have to teach, ра 
information, communicate, fulfill my re- 
sponsibility to serve and lift up my com- 
munity. Some people accept their 
sponsibility, some people reject it 
some people pretend that they don't 
even know it exists 


El 


ler on 


ange. 
vio- 


HOW TOTHROW 
A MAJOR LEAGUE 
FASTBALL. ^ FORKBALL. 


A PREMIUM WHISKY, UNRIVALED IN QUALITY AND SMOOTHNESS SINCE 1856. 


«уч эс гм Ben Canadan Why кпропес иб Bute by Hram Walker А Sons Ine. Farmington Hils, Mi e 1991 


74 


tami—the vampire's city. 
South Beach at sunset, in the luxurious 
warmth of the winterless winter, the 
breeze moving in from the placid sea 
across the dark margin of cream-col- 
ored sand to cool the happy mortal 
children. The sweet parade of fashion- 
able young men displaying their culti- 
vated muscles with touching vulgarity, 
or of young women proud of their 
streamlined mod limbs. 

Old stucco hostelries. once the crum- 
bling shelters of the aged, are reborn in 
smart pastels, sporting new names in 
elegant neon. Candles flicker on the 
white-draped tables of open-porch 
restaurants. Big shiny American cars 
push their way along the avenu 
slowed by the dazzling human parade. 
To the north rise the towers of Miami 
Beach. To the south and to the west are 
the dazzling steel skyscrapers of the 
downtown city with its high, roaring 
freeways and busy cruise-ship docks. 
Pleasure boats speed along the spark- 
ling waters of the canals past spr 
red-tiled villas draped with 
purple bougainvillea, past swimming 
pools shimmering with turquoise light 

On the horizon, great white clouds 
mountain beneath a roofle: filled 
heaven. Ah, it never fails to take my 
breath away—this southe 

City of water, city 
tropical flowers, city of enormous skies 


through his 


blood-sonked 


dreams, i found him. and 


tonight i will end 


his career in 


a cruel embrace 


fiction В V 


It's never really dark in Miami. Its 
never really quiet. And it is for Miami, 
more than any other place, that I peri- 
odically leave my New Orleans home. 

It is the perfect city for the vampire. 
There is menace beneath the shining 
surface of the city. There is desperation 
and throbbing greed and endless risk 
It never fails to yield to me а mortal 
killer—some twisted. sinister. morsel 
who will surrender to me a dozen of his 
own murders as 1 dram his memory 
banks with his blood. 

What luck for me that such a celebre 
ty had surfaced in my favorite city. 
What luck that he had struck six times 
in these very streets—one ol. those 
splendid human trophies whose grue- 
some modus operandi occupies whole 
files in the computers of law enforce- 
ment agencies, an anonymous being 
anointed by the worshipful press with 
the flashy name of the Back Street 
Strangler 

Ah, I would have crossed a continent 
p him up—this slayer of the old 
m who come in such numbers 
10 these warm climes. And he is here, 
waiting for me. То his dark history, de- 
tailed by no fewer than 20 criminolo- 


gists and easily purloined through the 
computer in my New Orleans lair, 1 
have added the crucial elements: his 


name and habit 
blood-soaked di 


ion. Through his 


1 found him, 


ILLUSTRATION BY MELODOM 


ANNE 


THE 
TALE 
OP ins 
Dep 
al: 


RICE 


And tonight I will end his illustrious ca- 
reer in a cruel embrace, without а scin- 
Ша of moral illumination. 

Please understand tha 
nobility in this. I don't believe that res- 
cuing humanity from such a fiend can 
conceivably save my soul. I don't be- 
lieve that the power of one good decd 
is infinite. What Г do believe is this: 
The evil of one murder is infinite. And 
my guilt is like my beauty—eternal. 

Nevertheless, ! like saving innocents 
from thew fate. And 1 like taking killers 
to me because they are my brothers 
and we belong together. Why shouldit 
they die т my arms instead of poor 
merciful mortals who have never done 
у willful harmz These are the rules 
of my game. | play by these rules be- 
cause I made them. 

Ah, Miami, the perlect place for this 
little Passion play. 


. 

L stand at the front windows of the 
rooms 1 maintain in the swanky little 
Cavalier Hotel on Ocean Drive, my 
Champs-Elysées of the moment, my 
Via Veneto. 1 enjoy the premium 
brand of solitude of the rich, complete 


privacy only steps from the Hast 
street. 
But it is time to dress for the 1 


Picking from the usual wilderness of 
boxes. suitcases and trunks. I choose а 


PLAYBOY 


76 


suit of gray velvet, an old favorite with 
a subtle luster, The coat is slim, with 
narrow lapels, spare and rather like a 
hacking jacket with its fined waist, even 
more like a graceful old frock coat from 
earlier times, perfect with the tight 
ay-velvet trousers. We immortals fan- 
су old-fashioned garments. Sometimes 
you can gauge the true age of an im- 
mortal simply by the cut of his clothes. 
As for the white silk shirt, it is so soft 
an ball it in the palm of your 
Id I wear anything else 
so close to my indestructible and curi- 
ously sensitive skin? 

The soles of my fine boots are im- 
ulate, for they seldom touch the 
r | shake loose into a 

ngth mane of yellow waves. 
I smooth brown lotion over my cheek- 
bones and neck to camouflage the skin. 
What do | look like to mortals? I hon- 
estly don't know. E cover my blue eyes, 
as always, with black glasses, for their 
radiance can entrance and mesmerize 
a chance encounter. Over my delicate 
white hands, with their telltale glassy 
fingernails, 1 draw а 
leather gloves 

Seven o'clock. The tiny green nu- 
merals of the digital clock glow. I close 
my eyes, letting my head drop to the 
de, bracing myself for the full effect of 
the amplification of my preternatural 
hearing. It is as if I have thrown a tech- 
nological switch, The soft purring 
sounds of the world outside become a 
chorus from hell—full of sharp-edged 
laughte: 4 lamentation, full of li 
and anguish and random pleas. I cov 
my ears. 

Gradually 1 see the blurred images 
of thoughts rising like a million Autter- 
ing birds into the firmament. Give me 
my killer, give те his vision. 
gy room, very un- 
like this one yet only two blocks from i 
just rising from his bed. His cheap 
clothes are rumpled, sweat covers his 
face, a thick nervous hand reaches for 
the cigarettes in his shirt pocker, then 
lets them go, already forgotten. He is a 
h h shapeless features and 
a look of vague worry or dim regret. 

It does not occur to him to dress for 
his eve lor the feast for which he 
hungering. He shakes himself, greasy 
hair falling onto his sloping forehead, 
eyes like black glass 

Standing in the silent sl 
room, I continue to track him, to follow 
dow to the gar- 
ish lights of Collins Avenue, past dusty 
shop windows and sagging commercial 
signs, propelled onward to the as yet 
unchosen object of his desire. 

And who might she be, the lucky la 
dy wandering blindly toward this һо 


avy man wi 


ng. 


lows of my 


a back staircase, ou 


ror through the sparse crowds of carly 
evening in this dreary re 
Does she с 


n of town? 
К and a 


ry a carton of ri 
head of lettuce in a brown paper bag? 


Will she hu 


the sight of cutthroats 
on the corner? Does she grieve for the 
old beachfront where she lived so con- 
tentedly before the architects and Чес- 
orators drove her to cracked and peel- 
ing quarters farther away? 

And what will he think when he 
spots her, my ugly angel of death? Will 
she remind him of the mythic shrew of 
his childhood who beat him senseless, 
only to be elevated to the nightmare 
pantheon of his subconscious? 

Ah. кей, I will tear out his menacing 
heart before he has his way with her, 
and he will give me everything that he 
has and is. 


D 

I walk slowly down the steps and 
through the smart, glittering art deco 
lobby with its magazine-page glamou 
How good it feels to be moving like a 
mortal, to touch the chrome handles of 
the glass doors, to wander out into the 
fresh air. I head north along the side- 
walk among the evening strollers, ad- 
miring the refurbished hotels and their 
little calés. 

The crowd th 


ens as 1 reach the 
corner, Before a fancy open-air rest 
rant, giant television cameras focus 
their lenses on a stretch of sidewalk 
harshly illu ted by enormous white 
lights. Trucks block the traffic; cars 
slow as passengers and drivers watch. A 
loose crowd has gathered, only mildly 
fascinated, for television and motion 
picture cameras are a familiar sight in 
South Beach. 

L skirt the lights, fearing their effect 
on my highly reflective face. I make my 
way around the corner, and again 1 


ing, his mind thick with hal- 
lucinations, so that he can scarcely con- 
trol his shuffling steps 

With a litle spurt of speed, I take to 
the low The breeze is stronge 
sweeter 1 hear the gentle roar of excit- 
ed voices, the dull music of radios, the 
sound of the wind itself. 

1 hit the pavement of Collins Avenue 
ly that perhaps I seem simply to 
appear. But nobody is looking. 

And in minutes Í am ambling 
steps behind him, threading through a 
cluster of tough guys who block my 
path to pursue the prey through the 
doors of a gi ugstore. 

Such a circus for the eyes, this cave 
full of eve ginable kind of pack- 
aged foodstuff, toilet article and hair 
accouterment, 90 percent of which 
existed not at all, in any form whatso- 
ever, during the century in which I was 


oofs. 


ти ice-cold d 


al eye- 


tary napkins, medic 
drops, plastic hairpins, fch-tip mark- 
ers, and ointments for all 
nameable parts of the human body, 
dishwashing liquid in every color of the 
rainbow, cosmetic rinses in colors still 
undefined. What would Louis. XIV 
think of Styrofoam cups, chocolate 
cookies wrapped in cellophane, dispos- 
able pens that never need ink? 

I've watched the progress of the in- 
dustrial revolution with my own eyes, 
but I'm not entirely used to these items 
myself. Such drugstores can keep me 
enthralled for hours on end. But this 
time I have prey in sight. 

Why has he come to this place? 
Young Cuban couples with babies in 
tow are not his style. He wanders the 
crowded aisles unnoticed by anyone 
but me, his red-rimmed eyes sweeping 
the cluttered shelves. 

Lord God, but he 15 filthy, all decen- 
cy lost in his mania. craggy face and 
ied with dirt, Will I like thi: 
Hell, he's a sack of blood. 1 can't kill li 
Пе children anymore. Nor can 1 feast 
on waterside harlots. My conscience is 
killing me, and when you're immortal, 
that can be a long death. But look at 
him, this dirty, sinking, lumbering 
killer. Men in prisons get better food 
than this. 

And then it hits me as J scan his mind 
once more, as though cutting open a 
cantaloupe. He doesn't know what he 
is. He has never read his own head- 
lines. He does not remember episodes 
of his life in any discerning order and 
could not truly confess to the murders 
he has committed. for he does not ıru- 
ly recall them. He does not know that 
he will kill tonight. He does not know 
what I know 

Ah, sadness and grief, I have drawn 
the worst card, no doubt about it. Lord 
God. what have | been thinking of to 


creams. 


neck crea 


hunt this one, when the маги world 
is full of more vicious and cunning 
beasts? I want to weep 

. 


But then comes the provo 
ment. He has seen the old woman, seen 
her bare, wrinkled ns, the bent 
р of her back, the shivering thighs 
under her pastel shorts. Through the 
glare of fluorescent light, she makes 
her way idly, enjoying the buzz and 
throb of the crowd, her face half hid- 
den beneath the green plastic of a visor 
her hair twisted with dark pi 
the back of her small head. 
She carries in her basket a pint of or 
nge juice in a plastic boule and a pair 
of soft slippers folded into а neat little 
roll, То this she adds, with obvious 
pleasure, a paperback novel from the 
(continued on page 98) 


ive ma 


“Thank you, Milton . . . thank you, Keats . . . thank you, Shelley." 


РНОТОСВАРНУ ВУ 
STEPHEN WAYDA 


let's hear 
it for 

Star search 
comedy 
champ 


felicia michaels 


F YOU HAVE ever seen Felicia Michaels—at a comedy club or on TV—you prob- 
ably think of her as the comic with that voice: like Minnie Mouse on helium. If she 
told jokes at a higher pitch, only dogs would be laughing. “I know some of you are 
looking at me and hoping this isn't my natural speaking voice,” Felicia tells audi- 
ences in the first moments of her act. Then, with a sweet smile, she squeaks, “Well, 
this is it!” In an interview in Los Angeles, where the 28-year-old comedian lives 
when she’s not headlining at clubs around the country, Felicia admits that her 


voice is a great gimmick, but the gimmick was a gift. "I guess this is just God's way 


of giving me a break,” she says. “Over a microphone my voice sounds like a total 


After several rounds of competition, Felicia was named the comedy winner on TV's Stor 
Search talent show in Mey. Above left, host Ed McMahon congratulates her for winning 
the grand prize: $100,000. At home in L.A. she tools around in her new sports car 
(thnks, Ed) and works out at the Lough Factory on Sunset Boulevard (above right]. 


cartoon. If it gets a laugh right away, I know I'm going to be OK.” Once you're 
tuned to Felicia's frequency, you can sit back and watch the pretty girl onstage 
turn a few stereotypes inside out. “Some people hear my voice and see my blonde 
hair and automatically think I'm stupid,” Felicia says in her act. “People think 
blondes are stupid, and lots of blondes get pissed off. Not me. 1 think it's cool. 
This way you can make major mistakes and nobody ever gets mad at you. ‘Hon- 
A lot of Fe- 
licia's material is rooted in her single-woman's travails with boyfriends, dating, 


ey, 1 didn't mean to sleep with your brother. . . . Well, he tricked me 


love and sex. “It always surprises me how people are offended by sex and talking 
about sex,” she says onstage. “Because sex 15 the most natural thing. 1 mean, be 
safe, be responsible, but what's the big deal? There was a time when men thought 
that women didn’t like sex, and that’s not true. We like sex. We even like oral sex. 
What we don't like are the stupid questions you guys ask afterward. ‘What does it 
taste like?" What are we supposed to say? "Well, being a connoisseur of fine jizz, I 
would say that yours is full-bodied, dry and unassuming.” It was seven years ago, 
when she was dating а fledgling comic, that Felicia first set foot onstage. In а mo- 
ment of bravado she told him his job looked easy, and he dared her to try. She de- 
buted at an open mike a week later with her jokes written on a huge piece of 
paper taped to the floor, a cheat sheet in case she froze. “1 killed,” she remembers, 
laughing. “I was queen of the stage for five minutes.” Within a year Felicia left her 
home in Colorado Springs, Colorado, to try her luck at stand-up in L.A It took 
her several more years to polish an act that earned regular stage time in the West 


79 


80 


Coast comedy capital—and steady work on the road. “The road is tough for a 
woman,” she says. “A lot of male comics take their girlfriends. The girlfriends go, 
‘OK. I won't waitress this week. I'll go with you to New York.’ But if you're а wom- 
an comic, no guy is going to be the bitch. Can you see this? ‘OK. ГИ quit my en- 
gineering job and go to New York with you, baby. I'll carry the luggage.’ And you 


can’t go out with a guy you meet on the road, ‘cause you might end up in a ditch 


So it gets lonely.” Felicia’s hard work paid off this year when TV's Star Search 


“When I was а kid, I was an ugly duckling,” Felicia soys. “I was walking home fram 
school one day and these twa bays rade Бу an their bicycles ond ane af them yelled, ‘Yau 
are really fucking ugly!’ They were laughing. It was horrible. | went home crying and said 
to my mam, ‘Everyone thinks I'm за ugly!’ And she goes, ‘It’s OK, sweetheart. You're 
beautiful to us.’ Yau knaw, your parents have to soy that becouse you lock like them." 


82 


awarded her its top comedy honors and $100,000 in prize money. That gave 
her the boost she needed to take another high-profile assignment: posing for 
PLAYBOY. “A few girlfriends said, ‘How could you do it? Don't you know PLAYBOY 
stands for everything that's wrong about society's view of women? I'm like, 
"Listen, I've shown more for a lobster dinner. Know what I mean? Get a grip." 


“Isn't it cool to monipulate a man with sex?" Felicio jokes in her act. Lowering her voice 
to a sultry purr, she soys, "Hey, baby, you know what would make me so hot? If you 
were standing naked . . . with a mop in your hond . . . oooch . . . and you were 
stroking the kitchen floor. . . going deeper ond deeper—into the corner. Get the dirt!” 


С 


article by 
Debbie Nathan 


Incest has become a media ob- 
session. Self- described victims are 
fodder for talk shows, TV movies, 
People magazine cover stories, 
celebrity bios ond PBS specials. 
Lurid stories force America to think 
about the unthinkable. But what 


if not all the stories are true? 


incest 


“When someone asks you, "Were you 
sexually abused as a child?" there are 
only two answers: One of them is "Yes," 
and one of them is Т don't know.’ You 
can't say 'No.'” 

—ROSEANNE ARNOLD. ON The 
Oprah Winfrey Show 


“Even if your memories ате тсот- 
plete, even if your family insists noth- 
ing ever happened, you still must be- 
lieve yourself.” 

—FROM The Courage to Heal, ву 

ELLEN BASS AND LAURA DAVIS 


“It’s а poor sort of memory that only 
works backwards.” 
—THE WHITE QUEEN, IN Through 
the Looking-Glass, wv LEWIS 
CARROLL 


EILEEN FRANKLINLIFSKER had а flash- 
back. She remembered that she had 
watched her father molest and murder 
her eight-year-old friend 90 years 
earlier. 

Her father was later convicted of the 
crime. 

In therapy Carolivia Herron, а 
professor at Mount Holyoke College, 
had flashbacks. While still a preschool- 
en she was raped by a relative. Her 


ILLUSTRATION EY OAVIO WILCOX 


PLAYBOY 


86 


aunt pimped her in Washington, D.C., 
whorehouses; at home, Herron watched 
several people murdered. The aunt is 
dead, the relative denies the charges 
and a retired Washington policeman 
says that the murders likely never 
happened. 

Roseanne Arnold had a flashback 
that her parents had molested her and 
her sisters, starting when Roseanne 
was only six months old. Her parents 
and sisters deny the charge. 

Is every memory of incest true? Must 
we always believe? If some aren't true, 
where do false claims come from? Is it 
possible to forget a horrible experience 
and to remember it years later? 

“To find out, limmersed myselfin the 
incest survivors’ movement. I spoke 
with psychologists and psychiatrists 
about memory. I read popular and 
professional literature about incest and 
incest therapy. I attended meetings of 
Incest Survivors Anonymous (ISA), а 
group modeled on Alcoholics Anony- 
mous’ 12-step program. I met women 
who were trying to deal with real in- 
cest—rape by male relatives who were 
drunks, druggies and plain sick jerks— 
while resisting attempts by therapists to 
persuade them that their relatives were 
actually members of organized satanic 
cults. I met women wearing sweat 
shirts emblazoned 1 surviven, as if 
childhood were the equivalent of an 
earthquake or deportation to Buchen- 
wald. I met women dutching teddy 
bears, women who, coaxed by support 
groups and therapists, were only be- 
ginning to remember and who were 
starting to have weird dreams of sex 
with their fathers. 

I attended a marathon retreat for 
survivors of abuse. These are the im- 
ages that occupy my memory: 

Friday morning: 

Donna* already knew about the mat- 
tresses and the rubber hoses, but she 
balked at getting graphic with me. We 
were sipping coffee at a conference 
center in the woods outside an East 
Coast city. Near us sat three dozen oth- 
er women from all over the 0.5. and 
Canada. We would soon start a four- 
day retreat for survivors of childhood 
abuse. The retreat was advertised as a 
place for dealing with the scars of all 
sorts of trauma—physical, emotional 
and sexual. But I had polled several 
women at breakfast, and from what 
they said about themselves, it seemed 
we would focus on incest. 

Donna told me this was her second 
retreat, but she paused at my neo- 
phyte's question. “The first thing that 
happens? I don't want to lay it out for 
you in advance. It's better to just go 


*The names of the women at the 
retreat have been changed. 


with the flow,” she answered. “But, uh, 
torture. We'll be doing something like 
torture.” She smiled ruefully. 

In faa, the first thing we did was 
crowd together in a room furnished 
only with mattresses. In front of us sat 
six therapists, one of whom wore a 
T-shirt that sported an ancient Egyp- 
tian face and the words JUST CALL ME 
CLEOPATRA, QUEEN OF DENIAL. The rest of 
us clutched stuffed animals. I have at- 
tended enough 12-step meetings to 
know that cuddly toys are a must for 
“inner children,” and that if my inner 
child wasn’t evident in the next few 
days, people would become suspicious. 

Т glanced over at Donna. She was 
gazing at the therapists. Yet when they 
asked us to tell our first names and why 
we were here, she suddenly looked less 
cheerful. 

"I'm Lucy and I'm an incest sur- 
vivor,” said one woman 

"Marion, sexual abuse by a neigh- 
bor,” continued another. 

"Physical and sexual abuse by my 
father" 

"Incest. My mother." 

“Satanic ritual abuse—I think." 

"Incest." 

“Torture by my family's devil-wor- 
shiping cult.” 

Tt was Donna’s turn. “I'm a survivor 
of emotional abuse,” she began calmly, 
then her face contorted with sobs, 
"See," she said between tears, “I feel 
like I don't deserve to be here. I'm 
ashamed, because I have no memories 
of incest.” 

The head therapist, a social worker 
named Beth, wasn't fazed. “How many 
of you have no memories of your 
abuse?” she asked. Eleven women 
raised their hands. “Look around 
you,” Beth told us brightly. “Look at all 
the people who have no memories. You 
all deserve to be here. No matter if you 
can or can’t remember. No matter what 
happened or didn’t.” 

Donna squeezed her teddy bear and 
stopped crying. Within a few minutes, 
she and several other women were 
squatting over the mattresses, bran- 
dishing rubber hoses. On each mat- 
tress was a telephone book. “Pretend 
the phone books are your perpetra- 
tors,” Beth instructed us. “Get mad at 
them. Beat the fuckers with the hoses. 
Scream! Scream as loud as you can! Hit 
as hard as you can! Challenge yourself 
to get angry. Then your inner children 
will take over. Your rage will come. 
Your healing. And your memories.” 

The women nodded, got down to 
work, and suddenly the room sounded 
like a cross between the third degree 
in some Depression-era jailhouse and 
a Sixties primal-scream workshop. 
Thwock! Bang! Bash! went the hoses. 
“You bastard! Abuser! Molester! Kill 


you! I want you dead!” 

A petite, pageboy-coiffed woman 
who seconds before looked as prim as a 
Senator's wife now shrieked at the top 
of her lungs. 

“I hate you.” Bam. “I hate you!" 
yelled another. “Slice off your penis!” 
Whack. “Bury it in the grave!” 

Donna bent over a mattress. She 
thought she had a perpetrator—her fa- 
ther. But this first day, with hose in 
hand, she had no memories and no 
words. She screamed and failed, any- 
way, and shreds of the Yellow Pages 
filled the air. 


. 

How widespread is incest? Мо one 
knows the real numbers. Less than a 
generation ago, medical literature esti- 
mated that, at most, five cases per 
1,000,000 people occurred every year. 

But between 1940 and 1978, several 
studies revealed that as many as one 
third of American women remembered 
sexual experiences with men that they 
had as children. Some occurred with- 
in the family: At least four women in 
100 remembered sexual experiences— 
from witnessing exhibitionism to being 
propositioned to actual sexual con- 
tact— a relative, and one in 100 
said the perpetrator was her father or 
stepfather. 

The secret was out, and for femi- 
nists—who had a special interest in un- 
derstanding female sexuality, as well as 
in combating violence against wom- 
en—that was progress. Unfortunately, 
given conventional understanding of 
molestation and incest, not all the 
progress was justified in fact. The work 
of sociologist Diana Russell, for in- 
stance, typifies some of the distortion. 

After interviewing several hundred 
women in San Francisco, Russell ге- 
ports in her book, The Secret Trauma: In- 
cest in the Lives of Girls and Women, that 
16 percent were incest victims—much 
higher than previous studies’ findings. 
Further, one woman in 22 reported 
that she had been abused by her father 
or stepfather, more than four times the 
incidence reported earlier. 

But it took some scrutiny to realize 
how drastically the numbers were 
inflated. Incest perpetrators weren't 
just fathers or uncles or older brothers 
anymore. They were any relatives. 
Russell's definition of abuse also in- 
cluded acts such as sexual kissing, 
stroking a leg or grabbing at clothed 
breasts or buttocks. And the perpetra- 
tor didn't actually have to accomplish 
these things. For Russell, a botched at- 
tempt carried as much weight as a suc- 
cessful one. 

In reporting their reactions to these 
episodes of incest, 54 percent of the 
women termed themselves extreme- 
ly upset over intrusive or disturbing 


“Nothing changes out there but the year and make of the car.” 


87 


PLAYBOY 


88 


advances. Slightly more than half felt 
the incidents had inflicted a range of 
problems: self-hatred, shame, depres- 
sion, anxiety and nighumares. A small- 
er group (27 percent) described the 
trauma as minimal, and 22 percent re- 
ported no long-term effects at all. A few 
women reported positive memories, 

Russell was profoundly suspicious 
when respondents said they had not 
suffered grave trauma. She introduced 
the idea that such women were victims 
of repression and denial. She also as- 
sumed that her statistics underreport- 
ed the prevalence of incest because she 
felt it was common for victims to forget 
incidents, especially those from early 
childhood. 

Since Russell’s Secret Trauma was 
published in 1986, denial, forgetting 
and repression have become catch- 
words for incest diagnosis and treat- 
ment. If you've forgotten the abuse, 
how do you come to suspect your past? 
The clues are everywhere: Does sex 
feel dirty? Do you have an eating disor- 
der or wear baggy clothes? Do you feel 
different? Are you quiet-voiced? Suf- 
fering from breast lumps? Do you feel 
powerless? Find it hard to trust your 
intuitions? Have trouble expressing 
your feelings? Are you unable to say 
no? Super alert? Interested in reli- 
gions? Afraid of coffins? Do you have a 
desire to change your name? Are you 
constipated? Stuck оп welfare? A 
workaholic? Suffering from the need to 
control everything? Do you feel termi- 
nal vagueness? 

All these items come from checklists 
in E. Sue Blume's Secret Survivors: Un- 
covering Incest and Its Aftereffects in Wom- 
en, from pamphlets distributed by ISA, 
from The Courage to Heal (a women's 
sex-abuse recovery guide by Ellen Bass 
and Laura Davis) and from John Brad- 
shaw's Bradshaw on the Family. 

Dig, they say, and the memories will 
come—from beyond the cradle if need 
be. An ISA pamphlet claims “there are 
many ways a survivor can be victimized 
between conception and birth.” One 
woman claims to remember a сопуег- 
sation her mother had about aborting 
her—while she was in utero. 

But how accurate are these memo- 
ries? Researchers agree that memories 
can apparently erupt to consciousness 
years later, when triggered by ordinary 
or unusual events. Are such memories 
accurate? They can be, says University 
of New Mexico psychology professor 
Henry Ellis. But some recall is evoked 
under intense pressures. And whether 
spontaneous or induced, “there is vir- 
tually no scientific documentation of 
the reliability of these kinds of memo- 
ries,” warns University of Washington 
psychologist Elizabeth Loftus, an ex- 
perton memory and suggestibility. Her 


research has shown that leading ques- 
tions can tigger forgotten memories. 
Sudden recollections from childhood, 
she thinks, are even more problematic. 

Enough is already known to cast 
doubt on some memories. Emory Uni- 
versity cognitive psychologist Ulric 
Neisser is particularly suspicious of rec- 
ollections dating to early childhood. 
His research indicates that people can't 
recall what happened before they were 
two years old unless it was a repetitive 
act, such as drinking from a bottle. Be- 
fore the age of one, they probably can't 
remember anything. The hippocam- 
pus—where the brain processes epi- 
sodic memories—doesn't mature until 
then, Neisser notes, and neither do 
necessary psychological structures. 

Where does that leave Roseanne 
Arnold, who says she remembers incest 
from the age of six months? And what 
about her later memories, which her 
sisters staunchly contradict? 

For years, both professionals and the 
public have likened memory to record- 
ing devices such as VCRs, which store 
everything they’re exposed to. For ac- 
cess, you hit rewind—using hypnosis, 
perhaps, or therapy. 

But not everyone accepts this analo- 
gy As Yale University psychologist 
George Bonanno noted in a 1990 arti- 
cle in Psychotherapy, research shows that 
memory is far from archival. Memory 
resembles ап incoherent, dreamlike 
world where the past is constantly rein- 
terpreted and re-created with material 
drawn from the present. 

But some people contend that the 
truth of memory doesn't even matter. 
“If you think you were abused and 
your life shows the symptoms, then you 
were,” Bass and Davis assure readers in 
The Courage to Heal. “If you don't re- 
member your abuse, you are not alone. 
Many women don't have memories. 
This doesn’t. mean they weren't 
abused.” 

Bass appears to be proud that she 
has no academic training in psycholo- 
gy. Davis’ claim to expertise is that she 
is an incest survivor (who did not re- 
member her now-deceased grandfa- 
ther abusing her until she was an 
adult). Since its publication in 1988, 
Courage has sold more than half a mil- 
lion copies. At the survivors’ retreat, 
many women kept it on their dressers 
by their contact-lens solutions and their 
New Testaments. Donna had a copy. 

. 

Saturday morning: 

Donna didn't sleep well last night. 
Nobody did. When the therapists 
asked how the mattress work made us 
feel, people answered, “Sick to my 
stomach,” “Scared,” “Angry,” “Like be- 
ing in a concentration camp.” Nobody 
had retired peacefully, even after we'd 


made a circle and sang songs like Kum- 
Ba-Yah and On Top of Spaghetti, and even 
though a therapist named Ina read 
aloud Bedtime for Frances. Donna told 
me she had strange dreams, but about 
what she couldn't quite remember. 

She told me about herself. She was 
33, a college grad who seemed impres- 
sively normal. Unlike several other 
women I chatted with, Donna had nev- 
er spent time in a psychiatric hospital. 
She had a job, one that she liked 
very much, running an English-lan- 
guage school for refugees. She had lots 
of friends, too. 

But she suffered from “relationship” 
problems. She was supercompetitive 
and a control freak. These problems, 
her therapist had told her, most cer- 
tainly stemmed from incest. Indeed, 
upon reflection, Donna realized that 
she hated her father—though, before 
therapy, she used to think this was be- 
cause he was cold and hypercritical. 
She had always felt that he wanted a 
son, not a daughter. 

Now Donna was rethinking every- 
thing. Why couldn't she remember in- 
cest? She had a theory that her father 
was a pedophile, but that she was so 
young that she'd repressed everything. 
Still, she'd done some mental detective 
work. Such as remembering a time 
when she was out of college and work- 
ing in her dad's office, and one day 
walking in unannounced and finding 
him having sex with his secretary. 

"That's what I think he did to me,” 
Donna said. 

“But this secretary,” Г asked, “wasn't 
she a woman? An adult woman?” 

“Well, yeah.” 

“Well, pedophiles aren’t attracted to 
adults.” 

“Yeah, but, oh, Г don't know. All I 
know is that I have this feeling." 

I didn’t say anything else. Beth had 
warned us not to intrude on anyone 
nd especially not to ques- 
„То do so, she said, was 
the same as “perpetrating” on them. 

After breakfast we sang more songs: 


“The echoes of childhood whisper 
violence. 

Cold wind beating out of the past. 

Rage in your throat, muffled 
silence. 

Hold on, I will stand fast.” 


Аз we sang, women sobbed. Yester- 
day this had struck me as odd and dis- 
turbing. By now, I was often teary-eyed 
myself. In a way, all this crying felt 
deliciously self-indulgent, sort of like 
visiting the Lancéme counter at a de- 
partment store and getting a good 
makeover But it was also assaul- 
tive, as was the unremitting violence 


(continued on page 162) 


by HOLLIS WAYNE 


The average guy in college is like a superhero making a 
quick change in the nearest phone booth: He goes in feeling 
awkward and unsure of himself and emerges—row! вам! 
BooM!—ready to take on the world. Granted, you won't see 
him leaping tall buildings in a single bound. But you won't 
catch him in silly blue ughts, either—or the wrong kind of 
sneakers. Fashion is а serious subject on campus. To give you 
a jump on how to navigate the quad, we've put together this 


nine-page guide to collegiate style. We clue you in on the 
right togs for freshman year (stay away from those book- 
stores that sell only school shorts and sweat shirts). We keep 
you on top of campus trends (check out Ren & Stimpy on 
Nickelodeon). Jeans? Sneakers? We have the scoop. And just 
in case you're about to be sprung from academe, we tip you 
off on how to dress to impress those picky recruiters. That's 
right! The real world. Irs just outside the phone booth. 


The politically correct look: cotton corduroy jacket with а flannel lining, zip- 
реге chest pocket ond a brushed-corduroy collar, by New Republic, $195; а 
ronmental T-shirt with CLEAN WATER printed across the front, 

leather boat shoe: 


FRESHMAN FASHION 101 
ou may be tempted to drop your entire summer sav- 


ings on a new college wardrobe, but unless you want 


your clothing to scream freshman, our advice is: 


Hold off. Style varies dramatically among universities 


(fashion at Brigham Young is hardly the cutting edge at 


Top: This collegiate denim 
duo includes o cotton but- 
tondown shirt, by Cotler, 
$30; and five-pocket jeans, 
by Guess, $62. Above: For 
road scholars, a nylon back- 
pock with а zippered front 
pouch, by Jansport, $45; 
plus a cotton T-shirt, by 
Jockey, about $16; and 
jeans, by Request, about $60. 


NYU), so look around before 
you buy. There are, of course, 
a few fashion basics that 
are sharp by any standard. 
Shirts: Bring a variety, includ- 
ing chambray or denim work- 
shirts; simple white cotton 
shirts; white, black and col- 
огей T-shirts; and solid- 
colored piqué polo shirts. 
Blazers: Stick with a single- 
breasted model. If you're 
bringing only one, make it a 
solid color so you can mix 
and match more easily. Fants: 
Plain-front chinos and tai- 
lored sweats are smart choic- 
es, and blue jeans with a re- 
laxed, slightly baggy fit are a 
must. Check out the new col- 
ored denims, too. Shoes: Dr. 
Martens workboots will keep 
you in step with style, as will 
a pair of brown loafers and 
black high-tops. Accessories: 
Bring a baseball cap. a knit 
watch cap for cooler climates 
and two belts—one brown 


and one black, both no wider 


than 1% inches. Also, a backpack is the best way to tote 


those ten-pound textbooks (nylon ones are the most 


durable). And don't forget to carry condoms. Safe is smart. 


The western look (above left): a fringed suede jacket with a quil 

ed blonket lining, by Gill, $359; jeans, by Gitano, $20; o denim 
cowboy shirt, by Guess, $60; and black calfskin cowboy boots, 
by Justin, $144. The outdoorsman look (above right): a wool 
barn coat with o suede collar, by Cotler, about $165; cotton 
mock turtleneck, by Columbia Sportswear, $28; jeans, by H.I.S., 
$22; and leather lace-up chukka boots, by Timberland, $172. 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY GEORGE CARROLL WHIPPLE ші 


Beach boy: Hooded pullover, shorts, 
Rollerblades and music-to-go. 
Campus jock: Head-to-toe sweats 
and crosstrainers. 


Fifties retro: Varsity jacket, button- 
down shirt, chinos and saddle shoes. 


Hip-hop: Denim jacket, bright-col- 


оге jeans, baseball cap and high-tops. 
Ivy League: Single-breasted blazer, 


plaid shirt, baggy jeans and loafers. 


Navy surplus: 
jeans, Dr. Martens and watch cap. 


Peacoat, turtleneck, 


Preppic: Bascball jacket, striped rugby 
shirt, fat-front khakis and high-tops. 


ILLUSTRATIONS BY STEVE BOSWICH 


Politically correct: Zip-front jacket, 
message T-shirt and jeans 
Outdoorsman: Plaid barn jacket, 
mock turtleneck, baggy jeans and 
hiking boots 

Western: Fringed jacket, snap-front 
shirt, jeans and cowboy boots 


92 


THE LOWDOWN ON DENIM 

rom jocks to nerds, homeboys to frat boys, denim 
Е jeans remain the uniform of choice on college cam- 
= puses everywhere, But even this wardrobe staple 
isn't immune to style changes. For the past few years, for 
example, the top look has been five-pocket jeans worn 
overly baggy—almost to the point of absurdity. Now guys 
are wearing the same style in a more traditional way: less 
full yet still relaxed. Two good examples are Lee Basics 
($34) and Girbaud’s skinny cowboy jeans ($62). Another 
look, called boot cut, is making a campus comeback along 
with cowboy boots. Wrangler calls its boot-cut denims 


(about $25) the “official pro rodeo competition jean.” To 


The beoch boy look: а headed catton pullover, by Hang Ten, 
$38; and denim shoris, by Gotcha, $38; plus vented Aeroblodes 
with а ratchet-type buckle, by Rollerblode, $330; cotton socks, by 
E.G. Smith, obaut $10; а nylon backpack, by Champion, $30; 
a chranagraph diver's watch, by Timex, $55; and a water- 
resistant AM-FM/cassette sport Walkman, by Sony, about $95. 


The campus bookstore is fine for T-shirts, sweat 
shirts and school paraphernalia, but why not be 
venturesome? Try: Ann Arbor, Michigan: Urban 
Outfitters (231 S. State Street)—If it's "in fsh- 
ion,” then its available at Urban Outfitters, a spe- 


Galty retailer with stores near the University of 
Michigan as well as near Georgetown, Harvard, 
NYU and others. Boston: Pennsylvania Co. (1024 
Commonwealth Avenue)—Offers styles ranging 
from vintage jeans and striped T-shirts to hunt- 
ing vests and surfwear. Chicago: Wax Trax Bou- 
tique (2449 N. Lincoln Avenue)—Near De Paul 
University, this hip shop caters to ultracool colle- 
gians, offering Dr. Martens, indie rock T-shirts 
and funky accessories. Los Angeles: Fred Segal 
(8118 Melrose Avenue)—The in-the-know UCLA 
dub crowd shops here for trendy clothing by de- 
signers such as Stussy, Fresh Jive and Quicksilver. 


avoid looking like a city slicker when you're wearing them, 
don't cuff the jeans at the bottom. Instead, wear them 
bunched up like the real cowboys. That way, when you're 
riding your horse (or mountain bike) across campus, your 
jeans will cover and protect your boots at the ankle. Aside 


from cut, the biggest news in 


denim this fall is color. Dark 
red, forest green, bright 
blue, black and copper are 


Right: Denim jeans are where 
it's at fram the waist down on 
college campuses from Amherst 
to UCLA. Styles range from the 
fuller cut ta the basic cotton. 
denim straight-legged model 
with five pockets, shown here, 
by Edwin Jeans, about $70. 


some of the hottest shades. We especially like Z. Cavaricci's 
not-too-baggy looks ($62). Of course, if basic blue is the 
only hue for you, opt for stone-washed jeans over acid- 
washed ones. The latter is as out as fall fashion gets. An- 
other option is to hit your favorite vintage or thrift shops 
for authentic used jeans. They look cool and are already 
broken in, so they're extremely comfortable. Just make 


sure you put them through the wash a few times. 


The preppie look (right): 
a wool melton baseball 
jacket, by Tommy Hilfi- 
ger, $225; a rugby shirt, 
from Tango by Mox Raab, 
$36; khaki trousers, by 
Bugle Boy for Men, $30; 
high-tops, by Converse, 
532; and baseball cap, 
by Schuman & Sullivan, 
$20. The Navy surplus 
lock (far right): а pea- 
coat, by Fox Knapp, 
$130; turtleneck, by Fenn 
Wright & Manson, $32; 
jeans, by Wrangler, 
about $30; boots, from 
Ne Na Shoes by Dr. 
Martens, about $90; and 
a watch cap, from Weiss 
Mahoney, about 57. 


The Fifties retro look: а wool varsity jacket with leather rib- 
bing, by Harley-Davidson, about $400; combined with a shirt, 
by Bugle Boy for Men, $25; a T-shirt, by Guess, $42; khaki 
trousers, by Duck Head, $30; saddle shoes, by Johnston & 
Murphy, about $155; and cotton socks, by E.G. Smith, $10. 


SNEAKER REPORT 
neakers. Gym shoes. Athletic footwear. By any 


name, it's a $12.1 billion industry that accounts for 


Wa 


40 percent of all footwear sold in America. So much 
for the statistics—here's the 
fashion news. Bright-colored 


sneakers are way out. So are 


lect the amount of air needed to make the shoe conform to 
your foot. Converse makes a similar model, the Accelerator 
RS 1 (895), which cushions and stabilizes the foot with the 
aid of a jelly-like liquid. And Мікез new high-tech Air 
Huarache ($110 to $125) is 33 percent lighter than the 
average sneaker because of a special sandal-type construc- 


tion. If you really want lightweight, check out Teva Sport 


Sandals ($35 to $78). Named after the ancient Hebrew 


word for nature, Tevas were designed in 1983 for river 


busy accents, such as multicol- 
ored shoelaces and metal 
studs. Instead, keep it simple 
and comfortable. All-black 
mid- to high-top basketball 


shoes, for example, are a 


rafting by Grand 
Canyon river 
guide Mark 
Thatcher. This 


great way to go. The Chicago year, they were 


the shoe of the 


Bulls thought so three years 


ago, when they replaced their U.S. Olympic ca- 


Above: From а white convos 
tennis shoe to the black 
leather basketboll shoe 
with an oir-sole unit, by 
Nike, about $90, pictured 
here, sneokers are a must 
for every collegiar's closet. 


white shoes with black ones пос and kayak 


during the NBA play-offs. To- teams and have 
day, the look, like the team, is even spawned а 
Nike clone called 
Air Deschutz ($60) 
that's named after 


a river in Oregon. 


a real winner and there are 
lots of styles to choose from. 
One, from Reebok, is called the Double Pump (about $160) 


and features a switching device on the heel that lets you se- 


UCLA: Stratton’s Bar & Grill—A place that's always hop- 
ping, especially on Thursday nights. 

Northwestern University: The Grove Street Inn—A 
restaurant/bar, formerly named the Keg. 

University of Texas: Cain & Abel's—Less than two years 
old and already the number-one hot spot. 

Florida State University: Calico Jack's—Quarter beers on 


Tuesday drop to a nickel on Friday nights. 

University of Pennsylvania: Smokey Joe's—Packed on 
Wednesdays for sink-or-swim night. 

University of Maryland: The Rendezvous—Nicknamed 
“The Vous,” this joint has a loyal frat following. 

New York University: McSorley's Old Ale House—Stu- 
dents line up on the weekends to get in on the action at this 


The hip-hop look: o yellow cotton 
denim jean jacket with buttoned 
front-flop pockets, $110, a multicol- 
ored striped rugby shirt, $60, and 
cobolt-blue denim boggy jeons, $65, 
all by Cross Colours; plus o black cot- 
ton boseboll cop with an embroidered 
shining stor, by Gotcho, $20; and 
high-top Air Flight durobuck sneok- 
ers, with oir-sole units, by Nike, $100. 95 


138-year-old tavern. 
Bostan University: T's Pub—Karaoke night оп Wednes- 
day attracts a crowd of crooning coeds. 


University of Washington: Lox Stock & Bagel—This fun 
and funky café and bar is a favorite among frat rats. 


Barn jackets Extra-long topcoats 
Boxer shorts Bikini briefs 
Bungee jumping | Stage diving 


Acid-washed jeans 


| Bright-colored sneakers 


Colored denim 


Dr. Martens 


THE I'M-OUTTA-HERE SUIT 
reaking into the job marker these days is about as 


hard as Chinese arithmetic, which is all the more 
reason to invest in 2 conservative suit. Wild styles 


with huge multiple pleats and shoulders that make you 


look like a linebacker aren't right when you're meeting a 


дала чен. 


Message T-shirts | Rude-message Tshirts 


Single-pierced ear | Pierced anything else 
Ren & Stimpy The Simpsons 
Rollerblades Roller skates 
Tailored sweats Bodybuilder pants 


corporate recruiter. Remember, you want the interviewer 
to focus on you and your qualifications, not your clothing. 
If you’re shopping for only one suit, make it a navy or gray 
model in a solid color or with a subtle pattern. Brown or 
tan styles are also appropriate in warmer climates. Double- 
breasted suits are stylish, but unless you're going after a job 
in a creative field—such as a 

Below: Every collegian needs at 
least one suit to wear to wed- 
dings or interviews. Our choice 
is a navy lightweight wool two- 
button model, by Bert Pulitzer 
from the 500 Group, about 
M $300; with a cotton broadcloth 
conservative — shirt, by Geoffrey Beene, 
$38.50; ond а silk rep tie, 
by Boston Traders, $35. 


art director at an ad agen- 
cy—stick to a two-button 
single-breasted model. 
Mast companies still ap- 
preciate а 
look. In terms of fabric. the 


best suit for year-round 


wear is one made of 


> 


worsted wool, priced at 
$300 or less. Poly-wool 
blends are also fine—and 
more affordable. But avoid 
cotton blends; many senior 
executives feel they don't 
project the crisp image 
that's important to a firm. 


Aside from suits, white all- 


cotton shirts are always 
right for interviews, as are subtly striped ones with white 
grounds. Keep your neckwear simple—either stripes or 
small neat patterns. And always wear dark shoes that are 
well shined and not run down at the heels. 


The campus jock look: o long-sleeved hooded fleece sweat shirt, 
$44, ond a reverse-weave crewneck pullover, $44, both by 
Champion; plus a cotton-blend fleece jacket, by Russell Athletic, 
$53; textured waffle cotton pants, by Disorder, $50; leather 
cross-training sneakers, by Reebok, about $60; and c wool 
baseball cop with а low crown, by Schuman & Sullivan, $20. 


Where & How to Buy on page 175 


The Ivy League look: a worsted- 
wool single-breasted blazer, 
Tommy Hilfiger, $250; plaid 

shirt, by Ruff Hewn, $65; T- 


calfskin loafers, by Johnston & | 
Murphy, $150; socks, by Gold Tee, | 
about $9; and а water-resistant 
wristwatch, by Timex, about $50. 


PLAYBOY 


38 


BODY THIEE сања зо 


“I want to press my lips to her memories, to the shape 
of her smooth calf under the pure-silk stocking.” 


rack. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. Yes, 1 
loved it, too. 

He falls in behind her, so closely that 
surely she will feel his breath on her 
neck. Dull-eyed and stupid, he watches 
her inch her way closer and closer to 
the register, drawing a few ragged dol- 
lar bills from the drooping collar of her 
blouse. 

Out the door they go, he with the 
plodding concentration of a dog after a 
bitch, she making her way slowly with 
her gray sack hanging from its cut-out 
handles, veering awkwardly around 
the noisy bands of brazen youngsters. 
Is she talking to herself? Seems so. 1 
don’t scan her, this little being walking 
faster now. I scan the beast behind her, 
who is wholly unable to see her as the 
sum of her parts. 

Pallid, feeble faces flash through his 
mind as he trails her. He sees drooping, 
breasts and hands with veins like tree 
roots. He hungers to lie on top of old 
flesh, to put a hand over an old mouth. 

When she reaches her small, forlorn 
apartment building, which seems to be 
made of crumbling chalk, like every- 
thing else in this seedy section of town, 
he comes to a sudden swaying stop, 
watching mutely as she walks through 
the narrow tiled courtyard and up the 
dusty green cement steps. He notes the 
number of the painted door she un- 
locks, or clamps on to the location, and, 
sinking back against the wall, he begins 
to dream very specifically of killing her 
in a featureless empty bedroom, no 
more than a smear of color and light. 

Ah, look at him, resting against the 
wall as if stabbed, head lolling to one 
side. Impossible to be interested in 
him. Why don’t I kill him now? 

But the moments tick, and the night 
loses its twilight incandescence. The 
stars grow more brilliant. The breeze 
comes and goes. 

We wait. 

. 

Through her eyes, I see her parlor as 
if I could see through doors and win- 
dows—clean, though filled with care- 
less old furniture of ugly veneer. But all 
has been polished with a scented oil she 
loves from a carefully kept bottle. Neon 
light enters through the curtains, milky 
and as cheerless as the view of the yard 
below. But she has the comforting light 
of her own small, carefully positioned 
lamps. This is what matters to her. 


In a maple rocking chair with 
hideous plaid upholstery, she sits with 
her new paperback. What happiness ю 
be once more with Francie Nolan. The 
old woman's thin knees are barely hid- 
den by the flowered cotton robe she 
has taken from her closet, and she 
wears blue socklike slippers on her 
small misshapen feet. Her gray braid is 
loose. On the black-and-white television 
screen, dead movie stars argue without 
making a sound. Joan Fontaine thinks 
Cary Grant is trying to kill her. How 
could anyone trust Cary Grant, I won- 
der—a man who looks as though he 
were made entirely of polished wood? 

She doesn't need to hear the voices; 
she has seen this movie, by her careful 
count, 13 times. She has read the novel 
only twice, so she will take special plea- 
sure in revisiting those paragraphs that 
she does not yet know by heart. 

From the shadowy garden below, 1 
discern her neat concept of self, with- 
out drama, detached from the ac- 
knowledged bad taste surrounding 
her. Her tew treasures could fit in any 
cabinet. The book and the lighted 
screen are more important to her than 
anything else she owns, and she is 
aware of their spirituality. Her func- 
tional and styleless clothes are not 
worth her concern. 

My vagabond killer is near paralysis, 
his mind a riot of moments so personal 
they defy interpretation. 

I slip around the building to find the 
stairs to her kitchen door. The lock 
gives way easily when I command it to 
do so. The door opens as if I had 
touched it, though 1 did not. 

Without a sound, I slip into the 
linoleum-floored room. The stench of 
gas rising from the small white stove is 
sickening. So is the smell of the soap in 
its ceramic dish. But the room touches 
my heart. Cherished Chinese plates of 
blue and white are neatly stacked and 
displayed. Behold dog-eared cook- 
books. How spotless her table with its 
shining oildoth of pure yellow, her 
waxen green ivy growing in a round 
bowl of clear water, which projects up- 
on the low ceiling a single quivering 
cirde of light. 

She has no inner antennae to sense 
the presence of the monster who 
stands, sunk into madness, in the near- 
by street—nor of the spook who haunts 
her kitchen now. The killer is im- 


mersed so completely in his hallucina- 
tions that he does not see those who 
pass by. He docs not sec the police car 
prowling, nor the suspicious looks of 
the uniformed men who suspect that 
he will strike tonight, but do not sus- 
pect who he is. 

A thin line of spittle dribbles down 
his unshaven chin. Nothing is real to 
him—not his life by day, not fear of dis- 
covery—only the electric shiver that 
hallucinations send through his hulk- 
ing torso and clumsy limbs. His left 
hand twitches. The left side of his 
mouth catches. 

1 hate this man. I don't want to drink 
his blood. He is no subtle and crafty 
killer. 

It is her blood I crave. 

. 

How thoughtful she is in her solitude 
and silence, how small, how contented, 
her concentration as fine as a light 
beam as she reads the paragraphs of 
the story she knows so well. She first 
read this book when she was a young 
secretary smartly dressed in а red wool 
skirt and a white ruffled blouse with 
pearl buttons on the cuffs. She worked 
in a tall office tower, infinitely glam- 
ourous, with ornate brass doors on 
its elevators and dark yellow marble in 
из halls. 

I want to press my lips to her memo- 
ries, to the tap of her high heels click- 
ing on the marble, to the shape of her 
smooth calf under the pure-silk stock- 
ing she put on so carefully, so as not to 
snag it with her long enameled nails. I 
see her red hair. I see her extravagant 
and potentially hideous, yet somehow 
charming, yellow-brimmed hat. 

That's blood worth having. And I 
am starving, starving as I have sel- 
dom been. 

Below in the street, a faint gurgling 
comes from the lips of the killer, clear- 
ing its way through the torrent of 
sound that pours into my vampire's 
ears. The beast lurches away from the 
wall and into the little courtyard and 
up the steps. 

Will I let him frighten her? It seems 
pointless. I have him in my sight, do I 
not? Yet I allow him to put his metal 
tool into the round hole near her door- 
knob. I give him time to force the lock. 
The chain tears loose from the wood. 

He steps into the room, fixing upon 
her without expression. She is terri- 
fied, shrinking back in her chair, the 
book slipping from her lap. 

Ah, but then he sees me in the door- 
way—a shadowy young man in gray 
velvet, glasses pushed up over my fore- 
head. I gaze at him in his own expres- 
sionless fashion. Does he see these 

(concluded on page 176) 


“Can I call you back, Abdul? I'm on a roll.” 


100 


PLAYBOY PROFILE 


RIGHT WHERE HE'S SUPPOSED ТО ВЕ 


WHEN BILLY CRYSTAL was in Moscow sever- 
al years ago preparing a TV comedy spe- 
cial, he made a lunch date to meet the 


BILLY CRYSTAL, 
HOST OF HOSTS AND 


Monica, where not long ago he joined the 
waiting line without complaint untl a 
hostess recognized him and insisted on 


country's leading comic, a man named PRINCE OF seating his party, or in an aisle ofa Pacific 
Gennadi Khazanov. Crystal got to the Palisades supermarket, or at the Los An- 
restaurant first, sat down at а table and LIGHTNESS, HAS THE geles Sports Arena, where he has long 
kept his eye on the door as dozens of pa- LAST LAUGH cheered the recently energized Clippers 
trons trooped in. He had no idea what through thin and thin, looks as normal as 
Khazanov looked like. Nor did he have . key lime pie. On screen, in such comedies 


any reason to think the Russian funny- 
man would dress funny or walk funny; 
this was the straitlaced dining room of a 
hotel on Red Square. Yet Crystal spotted 
Khazanov the moment he walked into the room. 

How did he recognize him? Khazanov looked as outward- 
ly normal as all the other men in the room, with a conven- 
tional coat and tie and a reasonably serious expression on 
his face. But he also had a thing. He walked in, as Crystal tells 
it, with this stage person's thing. He was rewed up in the way 
comics get before they go on, nerve ends waving in the psy- 
chic breeze, eyeballs scanning the room in а “What have we 
got to work with here?" mode. Like identical twins, pod peo- 
ple or Stepford wives, comics can sense that mode in one an- 
other, and these two connected instantly. They discovered 
that they both walk for hours before going on stage. When 
Crystal asked whether Khazanov hated working when his 
family was in the audience, Khazanov smiled knowingly; 
and yes, he said, he was Jewish, too. 

Crystal talks about his Moscow lunch in the context of his 
love of performers; he puts seasoned veterans of the stage 
right up there with great baseball players or violin virtuosos. 
Yet with the lunch table turned, he might just as well be de- 
scribing himself. 

Crystal, seen in a restaurant on the promenade in Santa 


BY JOE MORGENSTERN 


as When Нату Met Sally and last summer's 
runaway hit City Slickers, Crystal's become 
a certified star, but not at all in the bigger- 
than-life style of Hollywood's past. Lik- 
able as he is, hip and funny as he is, Crystal appears to be 
just about the same size as life, or even a few inches shorter. 
This also helps to explain his phenomenal success as host of 
the past three Academy Awards programs. It's a matter of 
human presence versus inhuman scale—a smart, lithe, 
spunky little guy standing up to a dinosaur of a show, climb- 
ing on board, getting the pea-brain monster moving with a 
few swift kicks and galloping off with infectious ісе. 

“This last one was his best even though he was feeling mis- 
erable,” says Robin Williams, whose own metaphor for host- 
ing the Oscars is riding a razor. “He's so comfortable with it 
now, everyone knows him and he knows exactly what to do 
and when to go off.” 

But Crystal, too, has his thing, and no wonder. At the age 
of 44, he's been performing for 41 years—it took him the 
first three to work up enough audition material for his par 
ents. Offstage as well as on, he takes in a room, knows intu- 
itively how to work it and speaks with utter confidence that 
he'll be heard. He listens generously and well, but some- 
times he's so eager to jump in with a reply that it takes 
him a second to register all cf (continued on page 158) 


ILLUSTRATION BY DAMD LEVINE 


Wy 


2. L 


miss остоБев is 

the genuine article, 
A vision 

in the desert 


ПНАМу$ А GEM 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY 
ARNY FREYTAG 
AND STEPHEN WAYDA 


MIRAGE: From the deck of her 

boat, Tiffany Sloan sees neon 

towers rising from the des- 

ert. In the distance . . . yes, 
it's the Mirage. Also the Flamingo 
and the Sands. And off the port bow, 
Caesars Palace. “It's a great view, isn't 
it?” says Miss October, who can step 
out her back door, board a boat and 
look down on Las Vegas. The boat, a 
hot-pink cruiser parked on a trailer 
in her yard near Black Mountain, on 
the gambling mecca's outskirts, can 
also cruise Lake Mead at a heady 
70 mph. But not tonight. Tonight, 
Tiffany wants to relax and enjoy the 
view. She likes the way life is treating 


her these days. A veteran achiever of 
impossible things—like the magicians 
who levitate themselves in the big 
rooms on the Strip (boating in the 
desert is the least of her miracles)— 
Tiffany is a shy sex symbol. “I'm too 
embarrassed to wear lingerie for my 
boyfriend.” She is also a pacifist who 
wants to be а gun-toting cop. Now 
this former construction worker and 
football star is our Playmate of the 
Month. “If you like surprises, I’m 
your girl,” she says. Tiffany grew up 
in Bullhead City, Arizona, just across 
the river from Laughlin, Nevada, 
where her dad was chief of security 
for a casino. She couldn't go out and 


Whether she's showing off the Valley of Fire (see photo, opening spread) or her own oll-natural figure, Miss October is one of Nevada's 
prime attractions. She is smort, funny and more than o little self-conscious: "Do you think I'm too pear-shaped?” But Tiffany isn’t 
wimpy. “Toughy Tiffy,” her mom calls her. Her one bad habit is running late, which is why she drives like а stock-cor rocer. “I'll go even 


foster when I'm o cop,” she predicts unnervirgly. Still, as her friends and admirers will tell you, o Tiffany epiphany is worth the wait 


play in the desert near their home—too many scorpions. Tall and strong for her age, she played tackle football with boys. “I 
beat them up,” she says, grinning. She tried out for the school team. “I had breasts by then, so the boys wanted me in the 
locker room, but the school board wouldn't let me play.” Casino business led the family to Vegas; a family breakup and 
young Tiffany's streak of independence led her out the door. “I left home when I was fifteen,” she says. “I worked оп a con- 
struction crew. It's not the best work for a girl. Too many pervs whistling and talking at you all the time.” She danced be- 
hind Joe Piscopo at the Sands, won a few beauty contests and sent a shyly suggestive photo to pLaysoy. Bingo: Tiffany hit the 
jackpot. “It's kind of embarrassing, posing nude,” she says, “but it can be a rush, too.” Dancing onstage and winning beau- 
ty pageants had revealed something to Tiffany, “I found out I love performing, having people look at me. Posing for these 
pictures, I wasn't shy anymore. I felt so comfortable that I was walking around nude without realizing it. It was a natural 

108 high. All ofa sudden, I loved what I was doing—I just lit up.” Just like the lucky town down the mountain from her house. 


s 
3 
8 
= 


navors PLAYMATE OF me MONTE 


PLAYMATE DATA SHEET 


NAME y, | | 

BUST: Sip а E A5 ums: PO 

mer: SO wrm: 190 __ 

BIRTH DATE: Puma ee == 
AMBITIONS: АСУ Stuck ne Семейім ео 
вас e ines 8 =) 


muns-ons: IDE. гус ruca E = 
police ұс Misc се И P. 
бох people, lich, — 


TANNING SECRETS: 2) исе (С Ае (ы пае (m 
mixed worthy Son Ooch Y 


SEXY IS: 
t 


Love нияв: С росе съ lane с Сесе à 
сс ус е. Sofe Sex = ДЫ үсем с Miss Bm 
Tone Siest Oorje, 


PASSIONS: 


yh ЫЙ ` ЖЖ) 
Din Grade. Grad Mo eee 


PLAYBOY’S PARTY JOKES 


MacDermon and MacDuff were 
front of the clubhouse fireplace after 
of golf on а raw, blustery day. The ice slowly 
melted from their beards and collected in pud- 
dies under their chairs. Outside, the wind con- 
tinued to howl off the North Sea and hail beat 
against the windows. 

The pair sat in silence over straight whiskies. 
Finally, MacDermott spoke. “Next Saturday, 
same time?” 

“Aye.” MacDuff replied gruffly, 
permittin'." 


"weather 


At 


ag 


The young man was clearly trying to impress 
his date by taking her to an exclusive French 
restaurant, but he was shocked when she or- 
dered two appeuzers, two soups, two salads, 
two entrées and two desserts, as well as a bottle 
of fine wine. 

“ГИ bet your mother doesn't feed you this 
well,” he whispered in the hushed room. 

“No,” she cooed, “but my mother’s not look- 
ing to take me to bed, either.” 


A woman was shaking out a rug on the bal- 
cony of her 17th-floor condominium when a 
sudden gust of wind blew the rug—and the 
woman—over the railing. "God. that was 
stupid,” she thought as she fell. “What a way 
to 


As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing 
at his railing caught her in his arms. While she 
looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he 
asked, “Do you suck?” 

“No!” she shrieked, aghast. He dropped her. 

As she passed the 12th floor, another man 
reached out and caught her. “Do you fuck?” 
he asked. 

“Of course not!” she exclaimed before she 
could stop herself. He dropped her. 

The poor woman prayed to God for one 
more chance. As luck would have it, she was 
caught a third time, by a man on the eighth 
floor. “I suck! I fuck!" she screamed in panic. 
"Slut," he said... and dropped her. 


Two drunks were well in their cups at their 
favorite watering hole when one spotted 
movement on the bar top. “Whazz that?” he 
asked. "A bug?” 

“Iza ladybug,” his drinking pal replied. 
the first gushed, “you have good 


Why can’t you take a photo of two or more 
Russians? Because as soon as you say "Cheese," 
they all begin to queue up. 


Two brothers had terrorized a small town 
since childhood. When one brother died, the 
surviving brother offered the pastor an cnor- 
mous sum of money if he would praise the de- 
ceased as a saint at the funcral. The pastor re- 
fused and mysteriously disappeared. 

Two days later, а new minister arrived. Не, 
too, was cornered by the town thug. “Just tell 
everyone what a saint my brother was,” he 
growled, “and you'll have more money than 
you know what to do with.” The new pastor 
considered the offer, then quickly pocketed a 
wad of bills 

The funeral was packed, since few dared to 
be absent, and the service proceeded in rou- 
tine fashion until the pastor stood to deliver 
the culogy. “This man,” he said, gesturing to- 
ward the casket, “was a bully, thief and coward. 
But,” he continued, “compared to his brother, 
he was a saint.” 


What makes a Yugo go faster? A tow truck. 


One wise guy we know reports that the Los 
Angeles city council is considering changing 
the LARD. motto from "To Protect and to 
Serve” to "We Treat You Like a King.” 


The courtroom was packed as testimony be- 
gan in the sentencing hearing of a woman con- 
victed of murdering her husband of 30 years 
by lacing his coffee with arsenic. The defense 
attorney knew that he had his work cut out in 
order to make his client appear more sympa- 
thetic to the judge. 

“Mrs. Ross,” he began hopefully, “was there 
any point during the commission of this crime 
when you felt pity for your husband?” 

“Oh, yes, sir,” she replied 

“And.” he pressed, “when was that?" 

“When he asked for a second cup.” 


Heard a funny one lately? Send it on а post- 
card, please, to Party Jokes Editor, Playboy, 
680 North Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, Illinois 
60611. $100 will be paid to the contributor 
whose card is selected. Jokes cannot be returned. 


15 


“Mind if we play through?” 


116 


STAR 
SETS 


THE NEXT GENERATION 


dramatic 
breakthroughs in television 
are a lot closer than 
2001 


modern living 


Br DAVID ELRICH 


5 THE BOOMING timpani of 2001: А 
A: Odyssey resonate through the 
room, sit back and get ready to 
experience a quantum leap into a new era 
of television. Like the apes that marveled 
at the mysterious monolith, you'll be 
amazed at the TV technology that’s set to 
emerge within the next ten years: wide 
screens that will make your living room 
even more like a movie theater; high- 
definition pictures to provide video so su- 
perior it’s like looking through a window; 
sound that's as clear and crisp as that from 
a compact disc; sets with built-in comput- 
ing power to enable you to shop or pay 
bills via remote control; and a satellite that 
will deliver more than 100 channels to a 
dish that's small enough to fit on your 
windowsill. It's all headed for your home 
within a decade. 


WIDE-SCREEN TV: A REALLY BIG SHOW 


Just when you thought your home- 
theater system was as good as television 


ILLUSTRATION BY WILSON MCLEAN 


ҒКАЯЛЗӨТ 


18 


viewing could get, along comes a new 
wide-screen set that’s as big a break- 
through as the first color broadcast. 
Unlike the standard square television 
screen (with a 4-to-3 aspect ratio), the 
new wide sets will have the 16-to-9 as- 
pect ratio of movie-theater screens, 
What's the advantage? Laser disc en- 
thusiasts already know the answer. It's 
any one of the approximately 400 let- 
terboxed movies now out on laser disc. 
Letterboxing shows the full width of a 
movie—“pan and scan" used for TV 
broadcasts and videotapes often crops 
characters out of а scene—but the 
drawback is the two black bars that ap- 
pear on the top and bouom of the 
screen. 

With the new 16-to-9 sets, that's his- 
tory When you connect a laser disc 
player to these TVs, the black bars dis- 
appear and the screen shows the movie 
just as it was shot. 

The wide-screen sets also enable 
camcorder users to exploit a range of 
techniques. Many new camcorders 
from companies such as JVC and Hi- 
tachi offer a cinema mode, which let- 
terboxes the image and allows for im- 
pressive landscape footage. Plus, this 
fall certain VCRs and camcorders from 
RCA will be able to record in 4-to-3 or 
16-to-9 modes. 

Wide-screen broadcasts may even hit 
cable soon. Now that premium cable 
programmers such as HBO and Disney 
have begun to offer more than one 
channel at a time, consumer electronics 
manufacturers are hoping that they 
will ofier deluxe wide-screen presenta- 
tions as well. Until then, the wide- 
screen set will also accept standard 
broadcasts. The image simply appears 
full-size on the tube with black bars on 
the right- and left-hand sides. Since 
most of the sets will have two tuners 
built in, picture-outside-picture will be 
a feature. You'll be able to move the 
main image to the left and monitor 
three stations in the margin through 
stills updated every second. You will al- 
so be able to watch a second program 
in this strip, just like a standard pic- 
ture-in-picture set. 

The first wide-screen television set 
will be available from RCA around the 
holidays. Called the Cinema Screen, 
this $5000, 34-inch set will be sold un- 
der the Proscan label and, according to 
RCA, may be upgradable to high- 
definition TV once it's available. In the 
meantime, the set offers improved- 
definition TV, an interim picture-en- 
hancing technology that’s the next best 
thing to HDTV. 

Other companies expected to move 
into the market in 1993 and beyond in- 
clude Philips, Panasonic and Pioneer. 
And firms such as JVC and Toshiba, 
which are selling $6000 to $10,000 


16-to-9 sets in Japan, are keeping their 
options open. 


HDTV: SHOW TIME 


High-definition television—the trans- 
formation of analog television to digital 
technology—is the ultimate leap in 
video quality. With НОТУ, broadcasts 
will be as rich and lifelike as film and 
will feature digital sound that's on a 
par with a top CD player. And, yes, an 
HDTV screen will have a 16-10-9 as- 
pect ratio for a true cinema experience. 

So why don’t we have HDTV today? 
Because the format has been em- 
broiled in a worldwide technological 
and commercial dispute. The FCC has 
wisely ruled that any HDTV format 
must be compatible with all American 
television sets, otherwise it would ren- 
der about 100,000,000 TVs obsolete. 
Currently, five HDTV systems are be- 
ing tested by the FCC, including sever- 
al developed by American companies 
and a Japanese one named MUSE, 
which is already operating eight hours 
a day in Japan. The FCC reportedly 
will make a decision by the end of 
1993. HDTVs should then hit stores 
within a year and a half, priced be- 
tween $3500 and $10,000. 

But you don’t have to wait five years 
for HDTV to get a taste of the technol- 
ogy. Sony, for example, has applied 
some of its HDTV know-how to its 
new blockbuster XBR* 32-inch TV set 
($2600). The Super Trinitron tube in 
the КУ-32ХВВ95$ features a new elec- 
tron-gun assembly and an advanced 
technique to put the phosphors (which 
determine the color) on the tube. The 
result is a television set with one of 
the brightest, most detailed pictures on 
the market. 

Hitachi uses an HD-inspired lens 
assembly. in its 60-inch Ultravision 
60SX1K rear-projection set ($4000), 
which also dramatically increases im- 
age brightness. And Mitsubishi has a 
$7500, 35-inch set, the CS-35X7, with 
an improved electron gun and digital 
enhancements (such as ghost cancel- 
ing) that will end up in HDTVs. 

Lastly, for the ultimate pre-HDTV 
picture, there's the Faroudja LD-100 
line doubler. This black box turns nor- 
mal TV signals into movie-level im- 
ages—no lines, and no bargain at 
$15,000. 


SATELLITE TV: THE SKY'S UNLIMITED 


Late 1993 or early 1994, a Hughes 
Communications satellite, HS 601, will 
be launched into orbit by space shuttle 
astronauts. This will be the first high- 
powered DBS satellite for the United 
States, and it will revolutionize the way 
you receive television programming. 
Current satellites use lower-powered C 
(like AM and FM radio) and KU band 


signals, which require ten-foot satellite 
dishes. Since this new system is ex- 
tremely high-powered, an 18-inch dish 
is all that's necessary, making it ideal 
for urban apartment dwellers. The sig- 
nals beamed back to carth will include 
HDTV (when a system has been cho- 
sen), pay-per-view events, wide-screen 
movies and more. Non-HD video qual- 
ity will be upgraded to Super VHS lev- 
el and the sound will be comparable to 
CD. There will also be audio and data 
services. 

The hardware for this system, called 
DirecTy, will come from RCA. The esti- 
mated cost for the dish and the re- 
quired converter box is around $700, 
with a simple do-it-yourself hookup. 
Programming, supplied by Hubbard 
Broadcasting, will be an additional 
charge, like a standard cable system. 


FIBER OPTICS: ТУ PHONE HOME 


Imagine being able to pick up a tele- 
phone, punch a few numbers into a 
wireless keypad and then choose from 
a seemingly endless list of movies and 
entertainment options that instantly 
appear on a high-definition wall dis- 
play. That's the reality of fiber-optic 
television, coined TV-by-Choice and al- 
ready approved by the FCC. 

Although the phone companies have 
been laying fiber-optic cables through- 
out their networks for years, the final 
link between the phone company's dig- 
ital switch and the home is at least a 
decade away. For one thing, it's expen- 
sive (estimates range between $100 bil- 
lion and $400 billion to do every home 
in the country). It’s also up against 
some fierce competition from network, 
cable and satellite operators. 

For a glimpse of what's ahead, you 
have to live in Cerritos, California. Par- 
ticipants there will be able to call up 
any video 24 hours a day, shop and 
even hold video-phone conversations 
with neighbors through their TV sets. 

A similar test is being conducted in 
New York City to upgrade the much 
maligned U.S. cable systems. Time 
Warner, parent of HBO, is testing a 
150-channel cable operation called 
Quantum that combines fiber optics 
with standard cable and an upgraded 
converter box. This system will eventu- 
ally expand to—get ready—500 chan- 
nels. It will facilitate buying pay-per- 
view shows directly via the remote 
control instead of the phone, and there 
are plans to enable people to bank, buy 
Warner CDs, shop by catalog and pay 
bills using Quancum. 


ONE STEP BEYOND 


Much is being made of the merging 
of computer, TV and CD technology. 
Since all will use digital-based signals, 

(concluded on page 169) 


PLAYBOY’S PIGSKIN PREVIEW 


our pre-season picks of the top college teams and players 


sports by GARY COLE two vears aco Colorado 
and Georgia Tech were co-national champions. Last season 
it was Miami and Washington. In the absence of a national 
play-off system, and with the method for determining bowl 
pairings slightly more complicated than the tax code, this co- 
thing may be the wave of the future. But maybe that isn't so 
bad. Look what it did for Willie Nelson and that Julio guy. 


And if we introduced the co- concept to politics, we could for- 
get the current election and simply have co-Presidents. 
Whatever happens elsewhere, co- is again likely to be a fact 
of life this season in college football. The Washington 
Huskies have nearly as good a team as they had last year and 
an easier schedule, so another undefeated season is a possi- 
bility. Miami has a tougher schedule, but, believe it or not, 


As Yogi Berro soid, it's déjà vu oll over ogoin. There's no chance the Woshington Huskies and Miami Hurricones will meet in o bowl 
game to decide, once and for oll, this yeor's national chomp. So signol callers Billy Joe Hobert (left) and Gino Torretta should lead 
their teoms to yet another co-notional championship. Everybody ogrees thot fies are boring. Bring on the collegiate pigskin ploy-offs! 


TOP 20 


3. Notre Dame 

4. Florida .. 

5. Syracuse.. 

6. Alabama 

7. Michigan. 

8. Penn State 

9. Florida State. 
то. Texas A&M 


The next 20: lowa, Missi 
ginia. Texas, Arkansas, Tennessee, 


TEAMS 


11. Georgia ... 
12. Nebraska 
13. Oklahoma 
4. California .. 
15. UCLA.... 
16. Ohio State. 
7. Colorado 
18. Georgia Tech: 
19. North Carolina 
20. Stanford 


pi St., Clemson, West Virginia, Pittsburgh, Brigham Young, Air Force, Tulsa, Indiana, Vir- 


ois, Memphis St., North Carolina St., Kansas, Rutgers, Texas Christian, Michigan St. 


13 


e 


COLORADO ZEN 


Marvin Jones Dan ЕсһоҒ Ray Buchanan Сооп Groy Chris Slade Will White Лт Hansen 
Linebacker Punter Cornerback Cornerback End Safety Anson Метт den tiere 
Florida State Kansas Louisville UCLA Virginia Florida ‚olorado 
Marshall Faulk Russell White Will Shields Shane Matthews Qadry Ismail Jason Elam Mike Compton 
Running Back Running Back Guard Quarterback Wide Receiver Place Kicker Center 
San Diego State California Nebraska Florida Syracuse Hawaii West Virginia 


OFFENSE 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY RICHAROIZUI 


Dana Stubblefield Steve Tovar Tracy Saul Tommy Thigpen Dove Hoffmann Rusty Medearis 
Tackle Linebacker Safety Linebacker Linebacker End 
Ohio State Texas А North Carolina Washington Miami 


LL-AMERICA TEAM 


Lincoln Kennedy Natrone Means Everett Lindsay Dennis Erickson Kevin Williams Топу Boselli Sean LaChapelle 
Tackle Running Back Guard Coach of the Year Kick Returner Toc Wide Receiver 
Washington North Carolina Mississippi Місті Miami dcs LA 


SPECIAL THANKS TO THE SHERATON BAL HARBOUR HOTEL, BAL HARBOUR, FLORIDA. 


122 


THE PLAYBOY ALL-AMERICAS 


pLavaov's College Football Coach of the Year for 1992 is DENNIS ERICKSON 
of the University of Miami. Erickson has guided the Hurricanes to two na- 
tional championships and compiled а 33-8 record in his three-year tenure. 
Before joining Miami, Erickson was head coach at Washington State, 
Wyoming and Idaho. He has a career record of 83-34-1. Erickson was also 
Big Sky Conference Coach of the Year in 1982 and 1985, Pac Ten Co-Coach 
of the Year in 1988 and Big East Coach of the Year in 1991. 


OFFENSE 
SHANE MATTHEWS—Quarterback, 
637, 192 pounds, senior, Florida. 
Two-time SEC Player of the Year. 
RUSSELL WHITE—Running back, 6, 
210, senior, California. Rushed for 
2298 yards and 26 TDs in two sea- 
sons and averaged five yards per car- 
ry. A two-time Playboy All-America. 
MARSHALL FAULK—Running back, 
5/10", 200, sophomore, San Diego 
State. First freshman to lead nation 
in scoring (21 touchdowns) or rush- 
ing (1429 yards). 
NATRONE MEANS—Running back, 
570", 227, junior, North Carolina. 
Leading rusher in ACC last season. 
Had 1879 yards and 21 touchdowns 
past two seasons. 
SEAN LACHAPELLE—Wide receiver, 
6'4", 207, senior, UCLA. Top return- 
ing receiver in nation. Had 73 re- 
ceptions for 1056 yards last season. 
QADRY ISMAIL—Wide receiver, 6’, 


192, senior, Syracuse. Led Big East 
in all-purpose yards and averaged 
54 yards per play on seven TDs. 


MIKE COMPTON—Center, 67”, 289, 
senior, West Virginia. Three-year 
starter for Mountaineers. First team 
All-Big East last season. 

WILL SHIELDS—Guard, 6'1”, 295, se- 
nior, Nebraska. Described by coach 
“Tom Osborne as Nebraska's “most 
dominating offensive lineman ever.” 
EVERETT LINDSAY— Guard, 65”, 290, 
senior, Mississippi. First team All- 
SEC. Timed at 4.8 seconds in 40- 
yard dash. 

TONY BOSELLI— Tackle, 67”, 285, 
sophomore, USC. First team 
All-Pac Ten last season, the first 
freshman lineman so honored. 
Freshman All-American first team. 
LINCOLN KENNEDY— lackle, 67", 
325, senior Washington. Morris 
"Trophy winner as top offensive line- 
man in Pac Ten last season. A two- 
time Playboy All-America. 

JASON ELAM—Place kicker, 6”, 195, se- 
nior, Hawaii. Successful on 63 of 75 
career field-goal attempts, 40 out of 
42 from 40 yards or closer. 

KEVIN WILLIAMS—Kick returner, 59”, 
185, junior, Miami. Big East Special 
‘Teams Player of the Year. Set Miami 
record with 560 yards on 36 returns 
last season. 


DEFENSE 
RUSTY MEDEARIS—End, 63”, 245, ju- 
nior, Miami. Had 55 tackles, ten 
sacks and 24 quarterback pressures 
last season. Has 24 quarterback 
sacks in 17 career starts. 
CHRIS SLADE—End, 65%, 235, senior, 
Virginia. Had 99 tackles and 14 
sacks for Cavaliers last season. 
DANA STUBBLEFIELD— Tackle, 63”, 
280, senior, Kansas. First team Big 
Eight last season with ten sacks and 
13 tackles for losses. 
TOMMY THIGPEN—Linebacker, 67", 
230, senior, North Carolina. First 
team ACC. Has 320 total career 
tackles. 
STEVE TOVAR—Linebacker, 64^, 240, 
senior, Ohio State. First team 
All-Big Ten with 97 tackles. A two- 
time Playboy All-America. 
DAVE HOFFMANN—Linebacker, 62”, 
225, senior, Washington. First team 
All-Pac Ten. Led Huskies in tackles 
for second straight season with 71 
stops. 
MARVIN JONES—Linebacker, 62”, 
220, junior, Florida State. One of 
four finalists last year for Lombardi 
Award (for outstanding lineman in 
nation), the first sophomore to be so 
honored in the 22-year history of 
the award. 
CARLTON GRAY— Cornerback, 6’, 190, 
senior, UCLA. Ranked second in 
nation last season with ten regular- 
season interceptions. Also won aca- 
demic All-America honors with 3.42 
GPA. 
RAY BUCHANAN—Cornerback, 5/0", 
195, senior, Louisville. Had 108 to- 
tal tackles and eight interceptions 
last season. 
TRACY SAUL—Safety, 6, 180, senior, 
Texas Tech. Has already tied SWC 
career record for interceptions with 
20. Has 254 career tackles. 
WILL WHITE—Safety, 6'1”, 199, se- 
nior, Florida. First team All-SEC 
разг two seasons. Tied for top spot 
on Florida's all-time interception list 
with 13. A two-time Playboy All- 
America. 
DAN EICHLOFF—Punter, 6, 215, ju- 
nior, Kansas. First team Big Eight as 
both punter and place kicker last 
season. Career average for 93 punts 
is 42.4 yards. 


more talent than last year. And if the 
Miami Hurricanes fall short of another 
12-0 record, three or four other teams 
have a shot at an unbeaten season. 
Since none are in the Big Ten, the 
spectacle of two undefeated teams 
playing at opposite ends of the country 
again on January 1 is a likely outcome. 

То the delight of the NFL and to the 
consternation of college football coach- 
es 34 underclassmen opted to skip 
their last season of Saturday gridiron 
glory in exchange for the big bucks of 
playing in the pros. Before you join the 
chant of “Those boys should stay in 
school and get their education,” look at 
it this way. For most kids, going to col- 
lege is the chance to get ahead. If a ju- 
nior in the business school is writing 
software on the side and IBM offers to 
pay him millions to drop out and work 
for it, wouldn't he be stupid to pass up 
the opportunity? 

The problem with the current sys- 
tem is that the players have to decide to 
forfeit the remainder of their collegiate 
eligibility before the NFL draft. Vari- 
ous proposals have been floated that 
would allow underclassmen to test the 
draft waters and then return to school 
with their eligibility intact if the pros 
aren't interested. But that idea makes 
too much sense to be adopted by the 
NCAA, which allows exactly this sort of 
draft-testing in college baseball, where 
it works fine. 

Not to be beaten out by mere under- 
classmen, ABC is also grabbing for 
available dollars. It announced a col- 
lege football pay-per-view experiment 
for this season. If you don't want to 
watch Northwestern get clobbered by 
Notre Dame, for example, you can opt 
to buy a game not available on free TV 
in your area for a fee of approximately 
ten dollars. We all better hope this ex- 
periment doesn't work or we'll soon 
find ourselves paying cable operators 
for everything from hockey games to 
Super Bowls. Makes Northwestern ver- 
sus Notre Dame a little more appeal- 
ing, doesn't it? Go Wildcats! 

Now, since 1 know you're itching to 
take that beaver coat out of mothballs, 
open the windows and plop yourself 
down in front of the television to watch 
the first Saturday gridiron triplehead- 
er, let's take a tour through this year's 
top 20 and the teams to beat in the con- 
ference races. 


1. WASHINGTON 


With 11 players from last year's team 
lost to the NFL draft, including num- 
ber-one pick Steve Emtman, you might 
think Washington would have to re- 
build before it made another run at 
а national championship. But the Hus- 
kies still have а wealth of talent and will 

(continued on page 144) 


123 


124 


“Billy Crystal had his say. So did Phil 
Donahue. Even Regis Philbin found it 
hard to refrain from commenting when 
Governor Bill Clinton insisted that he 
had never inhaled the marijuana that 
touched his lips 25 years ago. 

“So why haven't we heard from the 
man who carried a black bag filled with 
drugs on every campaign he ever cov- 
ered, the man who invented and per- 
fected gonzo journalism, the missing 
link between politics and the pharma- 
ceutical industry? 

“It's just a disgrace to an entire gen- 
eration,’ said Hunter $. Thompson 
when asked about Clinton’s decision 
not to inhale. Thompson, reached at 
home in Woody Creek, Colorado, was 
clearly astounded by Clinton's reserve. 
But he had to get off the phone in a 
hurry, he said, because local police were 
accusing him of firing a military rocket 
at a snowmobile.” 

—THE NEW YORK TIMES, APRIL 7, 1962 


т GOT HUNTERS answering machine 
when I called. Hunter rarely answers 
his constantly ringing phones, though, 
if it’s late enough—if vampire bats and 
werewolves are in the middle of their 
workday—he often sits in his kitchen 
beside the phone, in front of the big 
TV, over his old IBM electric typewrit- 
er, drinking, smoking, monitoring the 
calls as those on the line are assaulted 
by a recorded message that he changes 
often to reflect his mood. 

“As a dog returns to his vomit, 
the tape in Thompson's unmistakable 
cigarette baritone, “50 a fool returns to 
his folly.’ That's from Proverbs 26 
[then a shout, a signature outburst that Неш 
the phone away from my ear]. Where's that 
fucking book?” 

“Eleven,” answered a female voice 
somewhere in the background. 

“Proverbs 26:11,” said Hunter, drop- 
ping back into his mock clerical tone. 
Then a final outburst, “Goddamn 
iL"... Beeeep. 

I said my name and he picked up. 
“Terrible,” he told me when I asked 
how he was. “Cops all over the place. 
Fucking sheriff wont answer my 
calls .... they're closing in.” 

Something about a military rocket 
and a snowmobile? I asked him. 

“No, fuck. It wasn't a rocket . . . these 


said 


bastards. A meteorite landed in Woody 
Creck and they're blaming me." 

That wasn't exactly true, but if it had 
been, if a meteorite were to slam into 
the turbulent valley of Woody Creek, 
no one would have blamed Hunter's 
neighbors for thinking of him before 
they thought of God. They had, after 
all, suffered many other nights when 
the sky was lit by flames, when the 
ground shook, when champagne flutes 
leapt off their shelves because of 
Hunter's fascination with 
pyrotechnics. 

Вш not this time, he 
said. This was a mis- 
understanding, a pack of 
vicious lies, and he'd 
made the remark about 
Clinton in the chaos that 
followed. 

“It was Easter Sunday. 
A friend and I were out 
driving and she fired a 
couple of those little 
screamers you use to 
scare away birds, and all 
of a sudden they were 
threatening to arrest me. 
I was hiring lawyers aud 
investigators, and right in the middle 
of the whole goddamn nightmare, Pat 
Cadell called from New York to ask me 
about the Clinton thing. I didn't know 
he was drinking with a bunch of re- 
porters. I had no idea that what I said 
was going to show up in every edition 
of The New York Times the next day.” 

“Well,” I told him, “no matter what, 
it was great to have your commentary, 
short as it was, on this dismal cam- 
paign. A lot of us miss your wise politi- 
cal voice.” Then 1 suggested that the 
two of us spend a few days together 
and have а long, rambling conversa- 
tion about all the players in the presi- 
dential burlesque of 1992 

“Why not?” he said. “Sounds like 
fun, and, as you know, fun is all that 
matters to me. But I gotta go. I’m go- 
ing to call the sheriff again, then I'm 
going to go out and stuff my stomach 
with crack until I don’t know the differ- 
ence between a snowball and a human 
head, and then I'm going shooting.” 

. 


Hunter and I have known each oth- 
ег for 20 years, and we'd done this sort 


PAINTING BY HUNTER S. THOMPSON 


THE 
UNMAKING 
OF THE 

PRESIDENT 
1992 


Hunter 
Thompson, 
Dark Pundit 
of the 
Rockies, 
Takes Aim 
at This Year’s 
Crop of 
Candidates, 
with Lethal 
Effect 


article 
By Craig Vetter 


of thing before: me with the tape 
recorder, him talking, smoking, drink- 
ing, sharing his salves and powders, 
making me laugh, making me angry. 
In 1974 we spent seven months strug- 
gling out a Playboy Interview, on the 
road mostly, between Cozumel and As- 
pen, San Clemente and Chicago. We 
ended the summer in Washington, 
D.C., for what turned out to be the 
final siege of Richard Nixon’s White 
House. 

I landed in Aspen оп the Wednesday 
after Easter. Bill Clinton and George 
Bush had won the New York pri- 
maries. But neither the Republicans 
nor the Democrats were celebrating 
Voter turnout had been pitiful. Paul 
‘Tsongas, who had declared himself out 
of the race, (continued on page 170) 


FUSILLADE ART: With the tools of his trade, a 
12-gauge shotgun and a can of the best 
housepaint, Thompson gives the cowboy 
President а potriotic blast. His unusuol 
technique notwithstanding, the Doctor has 
the art market pegged: “It oint ort,” 
soys the gonzo Gouguin, “unless it’s sold.” 


126 


Ош 


coco was more than a dog, she was the mob’s 
bella donna. and she was in our living room 


HAT WE STOLE was a greyhound. Her name was Coco and 
she belonged to Rocco Giaccalone, president of the local 
chapter of the women’s garment union. Giaccalone was a 
dime-store mafioso, a fat old man who wore sweaty suits 
and sharp-toed shoes and who supposedly once snipped 
off the thumbs of a driver who'd stolen a few cartons of 
cigarettes from one of his trucks. 
That story about the thumbs was the first thing my 
roommate, Evan, and I learned when we moved to the 
North End of Boston. The second thing we learned was that everyone 
hated us. We couldn't leave because we'd signed a one-year lease (“Old 
World charm,” the ad said), and so there we were, two pallid young 
college grads trapped in the land of the swarthy people. 

Giaccalone's racing dog was as skinny as a runway model, with a face 
like Sophia Loren's and eyes like big saucers of milk, and when she 
walked down Hanover Street, I swear those foolish guineas would 
stand aside and start to whisper. Coco had been a big champion at 
Seabrook and Wonderland. I won $90 on her once, before Giaccalone 
took her in payment of a gambling debt and made her sit by his table 
in his Caff Tripoli like a slave begging bits of pastry. 

“It’s fucking disgusting,” I said, watching Coco snap a piece of 
chocolate-covered pizzelli from Giaccalone's hand, which glittered with 
gold rings the size of walnuts. “A dog like that, a racing dog—you can't 
keep it as a pet.” 

“What,” Evan said, “they should build it a shrine?” 

Evan is a software programmer, like me, and like me he is not a geek. 
He reads Freud and Campbell and cyberpunk novels, and once, at a 
party, I saw him drive an earnest, hairy-legged Cambridge girl to tears 
by insisting that he no longer believed in anything. The next morning 
1 walked into the living room and found her sitting on the couch, wear- 
ing Evan's Star Trek T-shirt and drinking а cup of coffee. 

“I won ninety dollars on that dog once,” I told Evan. 

“You thought I forgot since the last time you told me?” 

I called for our bill and, sure enough, the fucker tried to cheat us; 
he'd charged us four dollars instead of three. 

“Amigo,” I said. 

“That's Spanish,” Evan said. 

“Whatever. Hey. Waiter.” 

He pretended he didn't speak English and insisted we pay four 
bucks. I tried to make myself clear: “No fucking way,” I said. 


FICTION BY DANIEL LYONS 
UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN 


PLAYBOY'S COLLEGE FICTION CONTEST WINNER 


ILLUSTRATION BY H. CRAIG HANNA 


128 


Meanwhile, Giaccalone had turned 
in his chair and was taking an interest. 
The waiter ran back and whispered to 
him, and then the fat bastard started 
calling us faggots and had his nephew 
Tony throw us out. 

We went to the water and got wasted 
оп fog cutters. When we got back, ev- 
ery parking space in the North End 
was taken, so I moved the b 
of the space reserved for Giaccalone’s 
Fleetwood and put my Toyota there. 

“Fuck him,” I said. “I live here, too.” 

“I love it when you get all drunk and 
Catholic and indignant,” Evan said. 

We staggered up the four flights to 
our apartment and crashed. In the 
morning, when I stepped outside to 
get the newspaper, I found the Corolla 
slumped on the pavement with all its 
tires slashed. 


. 

Giaccalone, being the fat prick that 
he was, said he didn't know anything 
about any tires on any faggot's car. The 
waiters stood behind the counter wash- 
ing dishes. The old guineas in back 
looked up from their game of domi- 
noes, then kept playing. 

“So nobody here saw anyone near 
my car,” I said. 

“Nobody here saw nothing,” Giac- 
calone said. 

. 

The desk сор ar the police station— 
whose name was Incorpora, which is, 
of course, Italian—gave me a report to 
fill out and said there was nothing they 
could do. I asked why they couldn't 
look around a little, maybe pressure an 
informer. “What do you think this is,” 
he said, “Starsky and Hutch?” 

That afternoon, when a crew from 
the garage came to replace the tires, a 
crowd gathered on the sidewalk, and 
Mrs. Ronsavelli, our neighbor from 
across the hall, clucked her tongue and 
shook her head and whispered to the 
other old ladies in Sicilian. 

“What could you possibly have been 
thinking?” said Maria Colon, the Puer- 
to Rican girl (continued om page 165) 


A winning story demands c winning il- 
lustration. So once again, as we applaud 
young writers, we simultaneously honor 
promising new talent in the art world. Un- 
der the guidance of frequent PLAYBOY illus- 
tratar and New York's School of Visual Arts 
professor Marshall Arisman, students read 
and interpreted the winning story. “Listen,” 
we told them this year, “there’s no getting 
around the fact that you have to do a dog.” 
Н. Craig Hanna, the first-place winner, 
has his illustration featured on the title 
page. Other artists honored in the compe- 
tition (clockwise from upper right): Myoung 
Duck Seo, Paul Howell, Joon Hee Lee, 
Rebecco Shope, Young Mo Yoon, Josehp 
Kim, Marsha Saldanha ond Dom Lee. 


а. 
= 


“I know I promised you a condo in Palm Beach if I were reelected, but 
who believes a politician?” 


Goh om BIG EAST 


as with the best things in life, once is never enough 


he Eastern seaboard is known for many things: the teeming masses of the 

Big Apple, the cozy allure of New England's bed-and-breakfasts, the lush 

Blue Ridge mountains of Virginia and the neon fun and sun of Florida. To 

hoop fans, it’s also the home of the Big East basketball conference, one of the 
hottest in the NCAA. In 1989, PLAvBov paid a memorable visit to its campuses to 
chronicle the beauty of their coeds. Since then, something new—you could call it a 
Big development—has been added: Big East football, a Division I conference that 
includes four of the schools (University of Miami, Boston College, the University of 
Pittsburgh and Syracuse) that are represented in basketball's Big East plus gridiron 
teams from Rutgers, Temple, 
Virginia Tech and West Virginia. 
The conference is young—two 
years old —and boasts an impres- 
sive roster with lots of big-play 
capabilities for the participating 
teams. The 1992 season promis- 
es to be well worth watching. 
The new configuration also 
made an investigation of the re- 
constituted Big East imperative, 
so we dispatched Contributing 
Photographers David Chan and 
David Mecey to give football a 
kinder, gentler image. Focused on their mission, the two Davids each took 
four schools at which to man their respective shutters. Striving to produce 
yet another spectacular PLAYBOY pictorial, they photographed scores of 
lovely coeds on their collegiate turf. Was the mission a success? You be the 


judge. The overwhelming evidence appears on these and following pages. 


The leaders of tomorrow are the party animals of today. Showing collegiate col- 
ors (opposite) are grid fons from Pittsburgh, Syrocuse, Temple, Miami, Boston, 
West Virginia, Rutgers and Virginio Tech. Jenny Lyn Beitch (above), a film ond psy- 
cholagy major from University of Miami, and Catherine Crowder (right), on exer- 
cise-science порог fram Virginia Tech, give a hint why the Big East caught our eye. 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY DAVID CHAN AND DAVID MECEY 


Rutgers’ Susan Ring (abave left) knows how ta take 
the drudgery out of doing laundry. When this psych 
major has free time, she enjoys volleyball, skiing 
and—our favorite—wrestling. Anne Madison 
{above} of Virginia Tech loves hiking ond reading 
romance novels almost as much as she loves the 
mountains of Virginia. Temple sophomore and mo- 
torcycle enthusiast Justine Schade (е) describes 
herself os “fun, adventurous and o sensitive kind of 
gal.” She also confesses a weokness for legs. Crab 
legs, that is. Anyone in the mood for seafood? 


Michelle Diamond (above) performed gymnastics 
as a kid, and she still has all the right maves. The 
Rutgers caed wants to be an actress, likes the beach 
and reading crime stories. Pittsburgh's Nina Getzie 
{above right) boasts an interesting heritage—part 
Russian, part Korean. The fourth-year biolagy ma- 
jor is philosophical abaut her goals: to make same- 
thing of herself and to be happy. West Virginio's 
Traci Wright (right) wants ta balance o whirlwind 
coreer with raising a family. Her six years as a com- 
petitive roller skater should help keep her balanced. 


RU'Forrs 


Rutgers journolism major Marie Droke (obove) plons to become о 
film ond television director. With hobbies of oerobics, weightlifting 


ond bike riding, she's troining to go the distance. Laura Lowe (be- 
low) of Syrocuse is majoring in internotionol relotions, actuolly 
loves spinoch ond dreoms of hoving а house in the French country 
side where she con sunbathe in the nude. Vive le bain de soleil! 


From West Virginio University ore (above, left to right): Мейззо 
Cotlett, Michelle Morgon, Lynsie McKeown ond Christy Altmonn. 
Don't ossume they're just horsing around—these ladies ore pur- 
suing serious coreers: Melissa is on education mojor, Michelle's 
mojor is business, Lynsie is getting o degree in biology ond 
Christy is studying public relotions. Quite о winner's circle! 


Paula Jean Selinsky (above) likes going to school, though she hates being a starving student. 
This green-eyed blonde and her sister are a double threat; they both attend West Virginia 
University, bath are mojoring in sacialogy and bath plan to attend law school. Yau know what 
they say abaut great minds. Randi Sullivan (opposite), an economics major at Syracuse, is 
right ot home in front of a camera. Randi likes snowy nights, roaring fires and fost cars. But 
she's willing to slow down long enough to “learn abaut myself and the world around me.” 


t 


The ladies of Virginia Polytechnic Insti- 
tute (left) prove that good looks and 
brains do come in multiples. Striking а 
responsive chord ore (left to right): 
Kimberly Gromel (exercise physiolo- 
gy}, Stacey Schwaller (health educo- 
tion), Christi Crenshaw (biology), An- 
na Merrick (psychology) and Jamie 
Cryan (business management). Wendy 
Weatherhead (below left), a liberal 
arts major at Pitisburgh, plays the 
flute, loves to travel and is а whiz at 
puzzles and computer games. Miami's 
Callie Addesa (below) picked the per- 
fect climate to indulge her passian far 
windsurfing. In addition to karate and 
language study, Callie is оп animal 
enthusiast. Her first love is her rott- 
weiler pup, Andromeda. Next in line is 
her husband. Sarry about that, fellas. 


Michelle Marlowe (above left) af Bostan College is с communications major who likes Elizabethan paetry, impressionist art and pro- 
gressive music. It wauld appear that the Rhade Island native has chosen the right specialty: She has na trouble speaking her mind, telling 
us she dislikes "ignorant protesters ond pseudofeminists.” Temple’s Stefanie Levin (above right) likes hanging out 
and skiing—that is, when she's not pursuing her studies in early elementary education. The Greek isles beckon in the eyes of Syracuse 
junior Alexandria Mamakas (below). A braadcast journalism mojar, she spends her free time painting, drawing and exercising. Alexan- 
dria loves chacolote, peace ond New York City ond wants ta work in the news department at MTV. That's it: We're kissing CNN gaodbye. 


friends, dancing 


The University of Pitisburgh's Lindsay Jones (left) has her honds full with um 
ing, swimming, hiking, comping ond, oh, yes, studying. To devote enoui 
time to her favorite sports, the psychology mojor ам two en 
ing ond shopping. It doesn’t look as if she needs to do much of either one. 
а Michels (below left) is а trilingual theater major whose favorite film 
makers ore Stanley Kubrick, Oliver Stone and Federico Fellini. A junior ot 
Syracuse, Eriko wants to be respected for her hard work and determination 
опа will tell you so in fluent Sponish and Lithuanion. Corlo Cline (below), o 
communications major ot WV, is an outdoor gi 
sports, tennis and guys who ore honest, romontic and sincere. Theropeutic 
recreation sounds like too much fun to be a mojor discipline, but aerobics in- 
structor Rhonda Fagula (opposite) of West Virginia plans to make it work for 
her. Rhondo's needs are few ond simple: She likes to eat and di: 


2 0 U E 


$ 


TIM ROBBINS 


Ги hope the nuns would be proud of 

Г шау I turned out,” says Tim Robbins 
of his grade school teachers. Maybe yes— 
maybe по. He garnered critical acclaim for 
his portrayal of the morally flawed movie 
executive Griffin Mill in this year's hit 
“The Player.” On the other hand, the actor’s 
long-standing but derically unsanctioned 
relationship with actress Susan Sarandon 
recently produced a second child. 

Son of follsinger Gil Robbins of the 
Highwaymen (“Michael Row the Boat 
Ashore”), Robbins opted for drama and 
honed his acting skills in New York City 
schools and street troupes. He studied theater 
at UCLA and began a steady rise through 
television and on to good notices in films 
such as “Eric the Viking” and “Jacob’s Lad- 
der.” Until “The Player,” he was per- 
haps best known for his co-starring tole 
with Kevin Costner—and Sarandon—in 
“Bull Durham.” 

The low-key Robbins denies that he's now 
coming into his own, despite heading the 
stellar cast in Robert Altman's Hollywood 
satire and making his own debut as wrıter, 
director and star of "Bob Roberts,” a fiction- 
al documentary of a right-wing business- 
man and folksinger who's running for the 
U.S. Senate. 

Contributing Editor Warren Kalbacker 
met with Robbins m Greenwich Village, 
where Robbins grew up and now maintains 
а home with Sarandon and their children. 
“Robbins has plenty to say about acting, pol- 
itics and raising kids. But he warned me he 
might have to rush off to the hospital,” 
Kalbacker recalls. “The baby was due at any 
moment and Sarandon could interrupt with 

а call that she had 


hollywood's gone into labor.” 
1. 

reluctant PLAYBOY: When 

1 

Player on Jereened ha 

child rearing, Rovers for а fiim- 


industry audi- 
ence, you sported 
a sharp double- 
breasted suit. In 
addition 10 being 


garter belts 
and the 


secrets a writer, director 
and actor, have 
ofa you assumed the 


role of a player? 

ROBBINS: Yeah, I 
was wearing a 
player's suit, One 
of the real pluses 


good pitch 
IL | 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY KAREN KUEHN 


about The Player was that I actually got 
to wear nice suits for the first time in a 
movie. I got to keep all of them, too. 
Alexander Julian specially made them 
I'm not naive, I am involved in this 
business. But I don't think I'm a player. 
The Player himself was actually quite 
kind. When I was researching the part 
of Griffin Mill, I was given the oppor- 
tunity to sit in on a creative meeting 
with vice presidents of a studio. You 
have to be on your toes as a player. 
Even your mistakes are plotted. I've 
seen some pretty transparent spon- 
taneities. Players never put themselves 
out on a limb. If they're going to say 
something critical, they know the ma- 
jority of the room is going to agree with 
them—or be pretty sure that the per- 
son who wields the power in the room 
is going to agree. Since The Player is а 
success, a player will say he loves that 
film. If The Player had been a failure, 
you would not hear the end of the 
derogatory remarks ahont that movie 


2: 


PLAYBOY: You've sipped one brand of 
mineral water through a couple of 
lunches. Don't you share Griffin Mill's 
passion for sampling designer waters? 

ROBBINS: No. A screenwriter lays down 
aspine and the stronger it is, the more 
liberties that can be taken with it. In 
The Player we had a good script and 
Altman encouraged experiment, oddi- 
ty and absurdity. A couple of those 
things, like the water business, grew 
out of this freedom. How’s that for 
a diplomatic answer? I can't say I 
thought up too many bits because 
Michael Tolkin, who wrote The Player, 
will get angry at me. 


8. 


PLAYBOY: You've publicly expressed 
your desire to keep Griffin Mill out of 
your home. Can you give us the Tim 
Robbins Hollywood shark repellent? 

ROBBINS: [Laughs] Live in New York. 
New York is а more honest place to 
live. Los Angeles is very segregated, 
depending on how much money you 
make. You could live there and never 
have to see any poverty. You get in 
your car, go to your office in Beverly 
Hills and go home to Bel Air. You don't 
see much. In New York, there is no 
escaping reality. You walk out your 


door and see the great swirl of human- 
ity, all income levels, all races. 


4. 


тілувоу: How does growing up in 
Greenwich Village differ from being 
raised along Main Street? 

ROBBINS: I saw things a lot of kids never 
see. It was a wonderful circus, My fa- 
ther ran a funky basement club. I 
heard Dave Van Ronk and Eric Ander- 
sen and Livingston Taylor and Seals 
and Crofts when they were starting 
out. I saw Dick Gregory and Richard 
Pryor. I saw intellectuals, freaks, hip- 
pies, drag queens. I saw the emergence 
of a very flamboyant gay culture, East- 
ern religions, swamis and fake swamis, 
parades of masks, wild theater. I would 
love for my kids to see all this. 105 
healthier for a child to see everything 
from the start. When I was nine I knew 
what a junkie was. And I knew that I 
didn’t want to be one. One of the 
benefits of living in a city is that you 
know where the bad areas are, you 
know what to stay away from. You can 
recognize а con man ог a shill right 
away. I would be much more fright- 
ened in the suburbs because the effect 
is not so immediate. It's much more 
subversive. How do parents know 
where the drugs come from in the sub- 
urbs? That's why we live here. You 
shouldn't shelter your children from 
anything. It encourages more ques- 
tioning and more intelligence. Your 
kid sees something and wants to know 
what it is, and that's positive. 


5. 


PLAYBOY: As the offspring of hip par- 
ents, were you gent Пу disposed to 
inheriting liberal political views? 

ROBBINS: I wouldn't consider my par- 
ents to be radicals or activists, but they 
definitely helped shape my opinions. 
It would be interesting to find out 
whether my father had an FBI file. 1 
wouldn't be surprised if I had one. I re- 
member my mother coming into my 
room one morning and saying she 
wanted me to be very proud of my 
sister—who was away at college at the 
time—because she was arrested the 
day before for protesting the Vietnam 
war. As a kid, I had been involved with 
peace demonstrations and day-care 
centers and women’s rights and so on. 
For a good deal of the time, I was more 


PLAYBOY 


concerned about getting to my softball 
game and being a regular kid. I was an 
altar boy at St. Joseph’s. I got to carry 
the crucifix and the candles. The thing I 
remember most about it was serving at 
funerals and trying to crack up the other 
altar boys. We sneaked Communion 
wine, we stole unconsecrated hosts. That 
was a big score. In my life there was a pe- 
riod of apathy and overall disregard for 
current events. Between Watergate and 
the election of Reagan, I was much more 
interested in getting drunk and getting 
laid than in reading a newspaper. 


6. 


PLAYBOY: Did the playground sports of 
the Village help you prepare for your 
pitching debut in Bull Durham? 

ROBBINS: When I auditioned, the direc- 
tor made me pitch to Costner. I had a 
good arm. We used to play hardball in 
an unkempt lot filled with bricks and 
broken glass. The game would usually 
end when we broke а window. I played 
third base. If you play third base, you 
have to have a rocket. So I knew I could 
throw fast, but the real trick is the con- 
trol. What you saw is the best of my 
pitching. I did get my fastball up to 
about eighty-five miles per hour. The 
trick is the curveball. I'm most proud 
about throwing a real good curve on 
camera. I had the form, but I never un- 
derstood that real power-pitching is not 
in the arm. It's in the legs, it’s in the 
push-off from the mound. That's some- 
thing I learned from Bull Durham. 


A. 


PLAYBOY: Did Tim Robbins and Kevin 
Costner make a good bauery? 

ROBBINS: It was a good working relation- 
ship. When my pitches were over the 
plate, he could handle them. But there 
were a fair amount of balls over his head. 
It was a super fantasy camp. Neither of 
us wanted to cheat it. I wanted to throw 
the perfect strike, and Kevin wanted to 
hit home runs on his own. During a 
great deal of that film, the director was 
trying to rein in our egos. At times he 
had to tell us, “Guys, this is only a movie. 
We can fake things here.” 


8. 


rLAvbOY: Was donning a garter belt in 
Bull Durham a small price to pay for the 
thrill of throwing a good curveball on 
camera? 

воввим5: I have no opinions about garter 
belts. If it pleases you to wear them, then 
go ahead and wear them, male or fe- 
male. The only reservation I had about 
doing that scene was the temperature at 
the time. I was out on the mound at four 
Ам, pitching basically without any 
clothes on, and it was very cold. 


9. 
PLAYBOY: You triumphed at Cannes with 


142 abest actor award for The Player, but you 


didn’t linger. Robert Altman read your 
acceptance speech. Don't you take com- 
pliments well? 

Ronsıns: I had about forty interviews a 
day: “Well, Tim, you’re the best actor 
in Cannes. How does that make you 
feel?” Well, that question is framed in 
fantasy and makes me uncomfortable. 
The cyclone of interviews went nonstop 
for seven days. We had translators, but 
there is a whole trip to doing interviews 
with people who don't speak English. 
1 did some interviews with Italian jour- 
nalists, and I checked the newspaper 
the next day—I had someone translate 
it for me—and I hadn't said anything 
they quoted me as saying. Not a thing. 
The best part of the festival for me was 
walking down the Croisette one night 
and meeting a couple of film fans from 
Germany. Just people who were there 
for the right reason, to see as many films 
from as many countries as they could. 
And I probably talked with chem for 
about an hour. 


10. 


PLAYBOY: Will you join the debate about 
whether or not Thelma & Louise has a 
happy ending? 

ROBBINS: It has a happy ending in that it 
was the ending that the filmmakers 
wanted to do, and they were allowed to 
do it. Thelma & Louise is a really good 
movie. At the time it came out, there was 
a lot of talk about it bashing men. It 
bashes idiots, и doesn’t bash men. It 
youre a man and you're offended by 
this film, then you're obviously part of 
the problem and should be uncomfort- 
able with the movie. 


11. 


PLAYBOY: Robert Altman has dubbed you 
a director to be reckoned with. How did 
you make that known on your first ef- 
fort, Bob Roberts? 

ROBBINS: Before the film was sold to the 
distributor, I got final cut. My philoso- 
phy is, don’t take no for an answer and 
be willing to sacrifice your entire project 
for freedom. I've never worked on a 
movie where if at some point the direc- 
tor hadn't put his foot down, he would 
have been trampled. On my first film, I 
saw a director deck a producer. I saw an- 
other director throw a producer against 
the wall and, with his forearm against 
the producer's neck, say, "If you ever 
fuck with me again, ГИ kill you.” From 
then on, he was left alone, and he made 
a damn good movie. I'm six foot four 
and a half and I have a temper. It's re- 
served for very important issues. If 
someone is asking me to make an artistic 
concession, then I'll become a madman. 


12. 


PLAYBOY: What awaits those who aspire to 
become studio executives? 

rossins: Hollywood is not filled with 
schlockmeisters who wouldn't know а 


good film if it smacked them in the head. 
There are an awful lot of intelligent, 
well-educated people in positions of 
power who know what a good film is and 
know what it takes to make a good film. 
However, in order to getto a place and a 
position where they can singlehandedly 
green-light a film, they make a lot of 
compromises. If you go out on alimb too 
early in your career and the film falls on 
its face, you can kiss your rise goodbye. 


13. 


тілувоу: Can you account for your 
overnight success after a decade-long 
acting career? 

ROBBINS: Maybe I'm a slow-growth in- 
vestment rather than a fast killing. I've 
done a good ten years of work and peo- 
ple are noticing a couple of good films 
that I've done. It's а crapshoot whether a 
movie's going to be successful or not. No 
one had any idea that The Player was go- 
ing to do any business. But it was an op- 
portunity for me to work with Robert 
Aluman, one of the few geniuses in the 
American cinema. A lot of people saw 
Bull Durham, so consequently that's who 
a lot of people think I am. Fewer people 
saw Miss Firecracker, which I did right af- 
ter Bull Durham, where I played a char- 
acter who was just the opposite of Nuke 
Laloosh—an intelligent, passionate, po- 
etic madman. 


14. 


PLAYBOY: Did Susan Sarandon recognize 
you as an intelligent, passionate, poetic 
madman? 

ROBBINS: You'd have to ask her. These 
things are very private and should re- 
main that way. I never want to get into a 
situation where someone I love reads 
about a feeling I have when I have never 
expressed that feeling to that person. 


15. 


PLAYBOY: Pass on a few nuggets of advice 
to fathers of young children. 

ROBBINS: I certainly don't allow plastic 
AK47s in our house. As a child I was not 
allowed to play with guns, but I did cre- 
ate guns out of sticks. Kids are going to 
do a lot of things that you're not neces- 
sarily crazy about. But if they know deep 
down that that’s not your favorite thing, 
somewhere along the line they'll have to 
ask those questions of themselves. Dis- 
posable diapers are important if you 
travel, but at home one should try not to 
pollute. Try to avoid junk food. There 
are clever alternatives. We have these 
‘Tupperware molds thet you fill with fruit 
juice. The kids think they're getting 
Popsicles. 


16. 


гілувоу: Didn't you go to Hollywood at a 
rather young age? 

ROBBINS: One of the best things that my 
parents did for me didn’t seem so at the 
time. At seventeen they told me they'd 


pay for two years of college and I would 
have a home during the summer for the 
first two years. But when I was nineteen, 
I was out of the house regardless—the 
key was taken away metaphorically. It 
was harsh but good for me. I moved 
away from home and went to Los Ange- 
les. I joined the Teamsters Union and 
worked at а warehouse. 1 got my own 
apartment off Hollywood Boulevard, 
renting aroom т а house full of juvenile 
delinquents and thieves. They were al- 
ways operating scams. This elderly wom- 
an who ran the house was either crazy 
or incredibly brilliant. I never figured 
out whether she was the Fagin of these 
thieves. 1 lost money, mostly. I didn't 
have many personal possessions. Just be- 
cause I grew up in New York didn't 
mean | didn't have my own growing up 
to do. There was a different kind of 
criminal element in Los Angeles. It had 
a totally different face to it. 


17. 


PLAYBOY: For viewers who may have 
missed you on television, what were the 
sordid details of your entry into that 
mass-entertainment medium? 

ROBBINS: I didn’t aim to be a movie actor. 
It was always my idea that when I grad- 
uated from UCLA, 1 would go back to 


New York and either start a theater com- 
pany there or join one. I auditioned for 
St. Elsewhere. They were looking for a 
psychopathic terrorist and there was 
something about me that translated into 
that character. I was bedraggled and 1 
was a punk. I had a New York attitude, 
so I didn't want to be this stupid, grin- 
ning fool. [ was on the second, third and 
fourth shows. I got to spit in someone's 
face and be rude all the time. My charac- 
ter was your typical TV terrorist, angry 
and without any point of view. 1 was 
handcuffed for the whole thing, kept in a 
locked ward. 1 found that 1 could make a 
living playing criminals and psychos. 
That convinced me to stick around L.A. 
But I also used the money to fund my 
theater, which 1 continue to do. 


18. 


PLAYBOY: Pitch us the Bob Roberts concept. 
ROBBINS: You put a guitar in Ross Perot's 
hands and give him some Retin-A treat- 
ment and you have Bob Roberts. Same 
with Bush, for that matter. Or Clinton. 
Approach it from a whimsical point of 
view. I want it to be as much Spinal Tap as 
Don’t Look Back. This movie is about the 
corruption of the Republican Party and 
the corruption of the Democratic Party. 
10° not partisan. The approach is enter- 


tainment. People are fed up with the 
whole political system. It’s important 
not to glamourize or romanticize the 
left-wing point of view. I don't like to be 
preached to. I don't like blanket descrip- 
tions of evil. Actually, I never pitched Bob 
Roberts. All meetings were set up on the 
assumption that the person interested 
had read the script. 


19. 


рілуво: Will you be disappointed if Bob 
Roberts goes to video soon after theatrical 
release? 

ROBBINS: We're talking with some of the 
distributors about keeping the movie in 
a continued release—you know, not to 
release the video for an entire year. 1 
want discussion, arguments, laughter, 
collective laughter. I don't want the audi- 
ence to miss the communal experience 
of the film. 


20. 


PLAYBOY: You claim Bob Roberts is пог par- 
tisan. But isn’t the right-wing title char- 
acter inclined to offer a fascist salute? 
ROBBINS: Oh, God, it’s frightening. I 
tried to make the salute as ambiguous as 
possible. Kind of a strong wave, let's say. 
With a smile. 


143 


PLAYBOY 


PIGSKIN PREVIEW 


(continued from page 122) 


“This season’s version of the Hurricanes is even better 
than the 12-0 co-champions of last season.” 


play a schedule with only four road 
games. Coach Don James will go with 
Billy Joe Hobert, last season’s Rose Bowl 
co-MVB as his starting quarterback. 
Mark Brunell, who successfully quarter- 
backed the team in 1990, is fully recov- 
ered from the knee surgery that gave 
Hobert his starting shot last season. Se- 
nior tailbacks Beno Bryant and Jay Bar- 
ту are potential 100-yard-plus rushers. 
Sophomore Napoleon Kaufman, a light- 
ning-quick return specialist, can also run 
out of the backfield. Two-time Playboy 
All-America tackle Lincoln Kennedy is 
the cornerstone of James's offensive line. 
On defense, the Huskies will have some 
new faces up front, but the linebackers, 
with Playboy All-America Dave Hoff- 
mann, aresolid, and the secondary ехре- 
rienced and quick. Some team may beat 
the Huskies, who come into the season 
riding a 14-game winning streak, but it'll 
have to do it as an underdog. 11-0 


1. MIAMI 


Watch out: This season's version of the 
Miami Hurricanes is even better than 
the 12-0 co-national champions of last 
season. Big East Offensive Player of the 
Year Gino Torretta, 15-1 as a starter, 
returns for his senior year at quarter- 
back. Fullback Stephen McGuire, Mia- 
mi's leading rusher last season, is recov- 
ered from a knee injury, but sophomore 
backup Larry Jones, the Orange Bowl 
МУР should still get lots of playing time. 
Playboy All-America Kevin Williams is 
spectacular as either receiver or kick re- 
turner, and the rest of Miami's receiving 
corps is pro caliber. Sackmaster Rusty 
Medearis, another Playboy All-America, 
typifies Miami's quick, aggressive de- 
fense. Darrin Smith, Micheal Barrows 
and Jessie Armstead are probably the 
best trio of linebackers in the nation. Un- 
der Playboy Coach of the Year Dennis 
Erickson, Miami could again go unde- 
feated and finish in a déja vu dead heat 
for the national championship. 11-0 


3. NOTRE DAME 


The luck of the Irish was at work in 
the offseason. Star quarterback Rick 
Mirer ignored the advice of family, 
friends and hordes of hungry agents, 
opting to play his senior year in the col- 
lege tanks before turning pro. Coach 
Lou Holtz, who also stayed put in South 
Bend despite rumors to the contrary, 
can only count his blessings and a host of 
talented players returning from last sea- 
son's 10-3 team. Fullback Jerome Bettis 
is the best big back in the nation, but 


144 with Tony Brooks and Rodney Culver 


departed, Holtz will have to find a tail- 
back to team with him. All-America tight 
end Derek Brown has also graduated, 
but his replacement, Irv Smith, may be 
as good. New defensive coordinator Rick 
Minter will build the defense around 
linebacker Demetrius DuBose and ju- 
nior cornerback Tom Carter. The Irish, 
who play their two toughest opponents, 
Michigan and Penn State, at home, 
helped their national-title aspirations by 
replacing Tennessee on the schedule 
with lowly Northwestern. 10-1 


4. FLORIDA 


The combination of Steve Spurrier’s 
brilliant offensive coaching schemes and 
the passing accuracy and field presence 
of quarterback Shane Matthews makes 
Florida a threat to score every time the 
Gators have the ball. Matthews, this 
year's Playboy All-America quarterback, 
was Southeastern Conference Player of 
the Year in both 1990 and 1991 and 
finished fifth in last season's Heisman 
balloting. Receivers Willie Jackson, Har- 
rison Houston and Tre Everett finished 
one, two and three in the SEC in touch- 
down catches. Lopping things ott otten- 
sively for the Gators is running back 
Errict Rhett, who led the SEC with 1109 
yards. Spurrier’s defense returns seven 
starters, including Playboy All-America 
safety Will White, but the defensive tack- 
le and linebacking positions are inexpe- 
rienced. Florida will beat a very good 
Alabama team in the SEC champion- 
ship game. 11-1 


5.SYRACUSE 


If you're looking for a dark horse in 
the national championship race, try the 
Orangemen. Coach Paul Pasqualoni has 
some great athletes to work with. Junior 
quarterback Marvin Graves is on track to 
break every Syracuse career-passing and 
total-offense record. Returning running 
back David Walker was the leading rush- 
er in the Big East lest season. Playboy 
All-America wide receiver Qadry Ismail 
can be every bit the college player that 
brother Rocket was. Inside linebacker 
Dan Conley, who missed most of last sea- 
son with a leg injury, should be 100 per- 
cent. Syracuse's kick-punt tandem of 
John Biskup and Pat O'Neill is outstand- 
ing. It wouldn't be farfetched to imagine 
the Orangemen going into their final 
regular season game—at home against 
Miami—undefeated. 10-1 


6. ALABAMA 


Coach Gene Stallings has 16 starters 
back from his 11-1 Crimson Tide team 


that finished last season with a 30-25 vic- 
tory over Colorado in the Blockbuster 
Bowl. Stallings also may have found his 
quarterback for this season in that game, 
when Jay Barker threw three touch- 
down passes in the second half. Barker 
sewed up the starting spot with an im- 
pressive showing this spring. Multipur- 
pose threat David Palmer will continue 
to rotate between wide receiver and slot 
back while also returning kickoffs and 
punts. Running back Derrick Lassic will 
replace Siran Stacy, who has gone to the 
NFL. On defense, the Tide will miss de- 
fensive stalwart Robert Stewart at nose 
tackle, but the lincbacking appears 
strong with Michael Rogers and Leman- 
ski Hall. Alabama gets a break, since it 
docs not play Florida or Georgia on the 
regular Southeastern Conference sched- 
ule this year. 11-1 


7. MICHIGAN 


The incomparable Desmond Howard, 
last season's Heisman Trophy winner, 
has departed for the NFL, as have mas- 
sive offensive lineman Greg Skrepanak 
and linebacker/defensive leader Erick 
Anderson. But don't count the Michigan 
Wolverines out of the top ten. Quarter- 
back Elvis Grbac, who has already set 
school career records for completions 
(393) and touchdown passes (54), is back 
for his senior season. Running back 
Ricky Powers, who led Michigan with 
1197 yards last season, is only a junior. 
And there are some promising young 
receivers to replace Howard: Walter 
Smith and incoming freshmen Mercury 
Hayes and Amani ‘Toomer, last season’s 
California High School Player of the 
Year. Coach Gary Moeller will cover his 
defensive losses with returning tackle 
Chris Hutchinson, free safety Corwin 
Brown and a horde of redshirt talent, 
the best of whom is tackle Trent Zenke- 
wicz. The Wolverines open against nem- 
esis Notre Dame at South Bend on Sep- 
tember 12, Expect them to wrap up the 
Big Ten title by defeating Ohio State, for 
the fifth consecutive time, in the last 
game of the regular season. 10-1 


8. PENN STATE 


The Nittany Lions embark on their 
last season as an independent before be- 
coming a fully integrated member of the 
Big Ten next year. Coach Joe Paterno 
has 11 starters back from his 11-2 team 
of 1991 that ranked number three in the 
season-ending national polls. Paterno's 
first concern is finding a replacement for 
quarterback Tony Sacca, who broke or 
ticd 14 school passing marks before 
graduating. Paterno thinks that redshirt 
sophomore Kerry Collins “is not very 
different from басса. Not quite as fast, 
but he has a big, strong arm.” ‘Tony's 
brother, John, could also see some play- 
ing time. Whoever passes the football for 
the Lions will look for outstanding wide 
receiver О. J. McDuffie, who had 46 


receptions for 790 yards last season. 
Linebackers Mark D'Onofrio and Keith 
Goganious are gone, but Reggie Givens 
and Rich McKenzie will carry on the tra- 
dition of Linebacker U. The new bowl 
alliance froze Penn State out of the Sug- 
ar, Cotton, Orange and Fiesta bowls, so, 
in an unprecedented move, Penn State 
agreed last May to play in the Block- 
buster Bowl, provided that the Nittany 
Lions win at least six games this season. 
Penn State fans, start ordering your 
tickets. 9-2 


9. FLORIDA STATE. 


The Seminoles, who have finished in 
the top five for five consecutive seasons, 
won't fold their tents this year in their 
hunt for a national championship. But 
drop them down a few spots in the na- 
tional rankings. Quarterback Casey Wel- 
don has graduated, and running back 
Amp Lee and defensive back Terrell 
Buckley took early exits for the pros. 
Weldon’s replacement will be Charlie 
Ward, who was described by an assistant 
coach as the best athlete ever recruited 
by FSU. But coach Bobby Bowden has 
concerns about the Seminoles’ offensive 
line, which, he says, “is not proven at 
all." He'll have fewer concerns about the 
defense, where Playboy All-America 
linebacker Marvin Jones should play a 
dominating role. This will Бе Florida 
State's first season as a member of the 
Айапцс Coast Conference. Says Bow- 
den, "We're no shoo-in. I get the feeling 
that all eight ACC schools are targeting 
us... the new kid on the block." We 
think the Seminoles will get through the 
conference schedule unscathed, but 
Bowden better watch out for nonconfer- 
ence opponents Miami and Florida. 9-2 


10. TEXAS A&M 


The Aggies would be in the national 
championship picture if they had a quar- 
terback. Coach В. C. Slocum has just 
about everything else. Running back 
Greg Hill was SWC Offensive Newcomer 
of the Year last season and set a confer- 
ence freshman rushing record with 1216 
yards. Even with the loss of linebacker 
Quentin Coryau and cornerback Kevin 
Smith, both first-round selections in the 
NFL draft, the Aggies should again be 
formidable on defense. Sophomore de- 
fensive end Sam Adams is a star of the 
future, and defensive backs Derrick Fra- 
zier and Patrick Bates are solid. Line- 
backer Marcus Buckley is expected to be 
A&M's next linebacking standout. But 
the quarterback problem remains. Slo- 
cum tried four players this past spring in 
the spot vacated by Bucky Richardson 
but has yet to settle on a starter. 10-2 


11. GEORGIA 


Following in the footsteps of a sports 
legend is tough, but Ray Goff appears to 
have succeeded. Goff took the Bulldogs’ 


1945. 


You always come back to the basics; уивъц 
T 1 


DRINK RESPONSIBLY. IT'S ONE OF THE BASICS, 
Jum Bean Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey, 40% Alc / Val. (80 Proof). ©1992 James B. Beam Distilling Co, Clermont, KY, 


145 


PLAYBOY 


leash two years ago when Vince Dooley, 
by one poll the most popular man in 
Georgia, relinquished the head coaching 
job. Goff struggled (10-13) in his first 
two seasons but got Georgia on track 
with a 9-3 record last year that included 
an Independence Bowl win over Ar- 
kansas. As long as quarterback Eric Zeier 
sticks around, Georgia can only im- 
prove. The nation's most-sought-after 
quarterback coming out of high school, 
Zeier lived up to his press clippings by 
passing for more than 2000 yards in his 
freshman year. Andre Hastings is a 
burner at wide receiver and Garrison 
Hearst runs strong from the backfield. If 
junior-college transfers Charlie Clemons 
at inside linebacker and Greg Tremble at 
comerback come through, the Dawgs 
could crack the top ten. 9-2 


12. NEBRASKA 


The Cornhuskers have a great stable 
of running backs and a dominating of- 
fensive line but no experienced quarter- 
back to run the show. Coach Тот Os- 
borne has three candidates to take the 
snaps: redshirt senior Mike Grant, red- 
shirt freshman Tony Veland or freshman 
‘Tommy Frazier, generally regarded as 
the top option quarterback prospect 
coming out of high school. But ifthe QB 
knows how to hand off, the Huskers will 
fare reasonably well. Derek Brown and 
Calvin Jones are Osborne’s best pair of 
running backs since Mike Rozier and 
Irving Fryar wore the pads in Lincoln. 
Outside linebacker Travis Hill is a stand- 
out on defense. Nebraska will kick butt 
against most opponents but continue to 
struggle against quality teams that have 
the athleticism to stop the Huskers’ one- 
dimensional running game. 9-2 


13. OKLAHOMA, 


Coach Gary Gibbs's numbers look 
pretty good since taking over a Sooner 
program in turmoil three years ago: 7-4, 
8-3 and 9-3. But his teams have yet to 
win a Big Eight championship, and the 
losses to archrivals Nebraska, Colorado 
and Texas are piling up (eight). This sea- 
son could be crunch time for Gibbs, who 
has been a part of the Oklahoma coach- 
ing staff for 17 years. The Sooners ap- 
pear promising on offense. Junior quar- 
terback Cale Gundy will probably hold 
most of Oklahoma’s passing records by 
the end of the season. Guards Paul Mori- 
arty and Jeff Resler are a force in the 
offensive line, and fullback Kenyon Ra- 
sheed has power and speed. Reggie 
Barnes and Aubrey Beavers are quality 
defensive ends, but the rest of the Soon- 
er defense may be down а notch from 
last season's. 9-2 


14. CALIFORNIA 


Keith Gilbertson, former University of 
Washington offensive coordinator, has 
been hired to replace Bruce Snyder, who 


146 guided the Golden Bears to a successful 


10-2 finish last season. Expectations are 
high for Gilbertson. The coach inherits 
15 returning starters and has a reputa- 
tion as an offensive coaching whiz, But 
he has some formidable obstacles to 
overcome. He must find a replacement 
for quarterback Mike Pawlawski, an ex- 
cellent passer and team leader. There 
are three vacancies on the offensive line, 
and a replacement is needed for free 
safety David Wilson, who played a criti- 
cal role in the Cal pressure defense that 
created 35 turnovers last season. While 
Gilbertson struggles to solve these prob- 
lems, two-time Playboy All-America Rus- 
sell White will continue to dazzle oppo- 
nents with his brilliant running. 8-3 


15. UCLA 


Coach Terry Donahue thought he had 
all of his ducks lined up for a run at the 
national championship. He didn't count 
on quarterback Tommy Maddox, the 
centerpiece of his offense, declaring for 
the NFL draft with two years of colle- 
giate eligibility remaining. However, the 
Bruins can still be a top-20 team, espe- 
cially if Wayne Cook, who took only 
eight snaps last year, can handle the 
quarterback chores. Kevin Williams, the 
Pac Ten's leading rusher last season, and 
Playboy All-America wide receiver Sean 
LaChapelle give Donahue some other 
offensive weapons. On defense, the Bru- 
ins have experience along the front line 
but only one proven talent, Arnold Ale, 
at linebacker. UCLA gets a schedule 
break because it does not play Washing- 
ton this year. 8-3 


16. OHIO STATE 


Somebody up there likes Ohio State 
coach John Cooper. In four years with 
the Buckeyes, Cooper hasn’t coaxed his 
team to anything higher than a third- 
place Big Ten finish. The Buckeyes have 
lost all three of their bowl appearances. 
Worst of all, they haven't beaten Michi- 
gan in four years. Yet Cooper recently 
received a contract extension through 
1995. All this at the same school that 
fired Earle Bruce, who had an OSU 
coaching record of 86-26-1. Cooper and 
the Buckeyes can have a strong season if 
either Kirk Herbstreit or Bob Hoying 
can do the job at quarterback, There's 
an abundance of talented running backs, 
particularly since Robert Smith, who sat 
out last season after a disagreement with 
the coaching staff, returns. He was the 
1990 Big Ten Freshman of the Year. 
Butler By'note, the Buckeyes’ leading 
returning rusher from last season, is 
another burner. There's plenty of mus- 
cle up front offensively with twin bulk- 
sters Alan Kline (67^, 295 pounds) and 
Jason Winrow (66", 300 pounds). Ohio 
State's best defensive players are two- 
time Playboy All-America linebacker 
Steve Tovar and sophomore free safety 
Roger Harper. 8-3 


17. COLORADO 


The Buffaloes are switching to a one- 
back attack under new offensive coordi- 
nator Les Steckel, who spent more than 
a decade in the NFL before being hired 
by coach Bill McCartney in January 
1991. The new offensive scheme will 
eventually open up Colorado's passing 
game—that 15, as soon as the players 
learn the system and McCartney and 
Steckel find a quarterback to run it. Ju- 
nior Vance Joseph and sophomore Kor- 
dell Stewart will battle for the starting 
nod, with Koy Detmer, Ty's younger 
brother, waiting in the wings. Even if 
the offense struggles early, Colorado's 
defense will keep the Buffaloes close. 
The front seven are among the strongest 
in the nation, particularly at linebacker, 
where Chad Brown and Greg Biekert 
are all-conference performers. 8-3 


18. GEORGIA TECH 


Bill Lewis, who led East Carolina to 
its best-ever record (11-1) last season, 
takes over at Georgia Tech for Bobby 
Ross, now head coach of the San Diego 
Chargers. Lewis has outstanding offen- 
sive players at the skill positions in 
fourth-year starting quarterback Shawn 
Jones and running backs William Bell, 
Jimy Lincoln (ACC Rookie of the Year 
last season) and Notre Dame transfer 
Dorsey Levens. Now all Lewis needs is 
an offensive line to put in front of them, 
since all five starters from last year's 
8-5 squad are gone. Tech's defense will 
be good again (it ranked eighth nation- 
ally last year) despite the loss of Willie 
Clay and Ken Swilling and the early de- 
fection of linebacker Marco Coleman to 
the pros. Returning defensive tackle 
Coleman Rudolph was the ACC sack 
leader last season with 13. If the offen- 
sive line gels, the Rambling Wreck will 
make some noise. 8-3 


19. NORTH CAROLINA 


The Tar Heels have been quietly 
stockpiling football talent the past four 
years under coach Mack Brown. Last 
season North Carolina finished 7-4. 
This season, with three quarterbacks to 
choose from, a pair of great running 
backs and some real studs on defense, 
the results should be better. Playboy All- 
America running back Natrone Means 
has the talent to gain 1500 yards, and 
Randy Jordan is a strong backup. Ran- 
dall Parsons, after switching from de- 
fense two years ago, is one of the best 
centers in the nation. Another Playboy 
All-America, linebacker Tommy Thig- 
pen, runs like a defensive back and hits 
like some of the great Carolina lineback- 
ers of the past. 8-3 


20. STANFORD 


The biggest question for Stanford may 
not be how well its football team will fare 
but whether new head coach Bill Walsh 


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will stroll the sidelines in flowing white 
robes hammering his game plans into 
stone tablets, Lets face it—this guy is 
а walking, talking sports legend. He 
coached the San Francisco 49ers to three 
world championships and six NFC divi- 
sion titles; he was named Coach of the 
Decade (the Eighties) by the NFL Pro- 
fessional Writers’ Association; he was 
NBC's resident football color man and 
guru. The man reeks football knowl- 
edge. After it was rumored that Walsh 
was about to rejoin the 49ers, he sur- 
prised almost everyone by returning to 
Stanford, where he started his head- 
coaching сагее 1977. Walsh has in- 
stalled a pro-style offense and labels re- 
turning starter Steve Stenstrom “one of 
the best junior quarterbacks in college 
football.” Walsh has 15 more returning 
starters from the Cardinal 8-4 squad of 
last season. Running back Glyn Milburn 
is great when healthy. Linebacker Ron 
George is the leader of Stanford's ag- 
gressive, gambling-style defense. Trips 
to Notre Dame, UCLA and Washington 
will test the Walsh mystique. 8-4 


ATLANTIC COAST CONFERENCE 


Florida State 
Georgia Tech 

North Carolina 
Clemson 

Virginia 

North Carolina State 
Duke 

Wake forest 
Maryland 


The addition of Florida State and the 
steady improvement of the football pro- 
grams at North Carolina and Virginia 
make the ACC one of the most competi- 
tive conferences in the nation. Despite 
Bobby Bowden's modest assertions to 
the contrary, Flarido State will take home 
the conference crown. Georgio Tech and 
North Carolina will be hotly pursued by 
nnial АСС powers Clemson, Vir- 
and North Carolina State. 

The Clemson Tigers lost a ton of talent. 
from last season: quarterback DeChane 
Cameron and four first team All-Ameri- 
cas, including lincbacker Levon Kirk- 
land and monster defensive tackle 
chester McGlockton, who went to the 
NFL after his junior season. Coach Ken 
Hatfield, one of only six coaches to take 
three programs to top-20 finishes, will 
rebuild around wide receiver Terry 
Smith, free safety Robert O'Neal and 
Stacy Seegars, а 320-pound offensive 
guard. Richard Moncrief, who under- 
studied for Cameron last season, will 
start behind center. Sofi nonconference 
games will bolster Clemson's overall 
record, but the Tigers will have their 
difficulties in the conference. Virginia's 
biggest problem is finding a replacement 
for quarterback Matt Blundin, last sca- 
son's ACC Player of the Year. Bobby 
Goodman, who filled in for an injured 
Blundin for two games last season, is 


coach George Welsh's first choice. While 
Goodman is settling in, running back 
Terry Kirby (887 yards rushing and 37 
receptions) will spearhead the Cavalier 
offensive attack. Playboy All-America 
end Chris Slade, а pass-rushing phe- 
nom, is the best of inia's seven re- 
turning defensive starters. North Coralino 
State will be formidable again with eight 
starters back from its top-20 defense of 
last season. The Wolfpack secondary, 
where Sebastian Savage leads the way, 
is particularly impressive. On offense, 
coach Dick Sheridan has three return 
quarterbacks who have passed for 500 
yards apiece in one season. Senior Terry 
Jordan, who missed most of last season 
with a broken arm, will get the nod as 
starter. Sheridan's biggest challenge is 
piecing together a new offensive line. 
Duke's football fortunes suffered a seri- 
ous setback when quarterback Dave 
Brown, who passed for 2794 yards and 
20 touchdowns last season, decided to 
pass up his final season of eligibility to 
enter the NFLs supplemental draft. 
Steve Prince is the leading candidate to 
replace Brown. Randy Cuthbert, а 1000- 
yard rusher who missed much of last 
season with a pinched nerve, should give 
the Blue Devils’ offensive game better 
balance. Only five starters return from a 
Duke defense that allowed opponents an 
average points per game last sea- 


Ма 


son. Wake Forest and Maryland appear to 
be outmanned, in terms of talent, in the 
AGC this season. Tight end John Henry 
Mills and defensive back George Coghill 
are the Demon Deacons’ best play 
Maryland brings in new coach Mark 
Dufiner, formerly with Holy Cross. 
Dufiner and offensive coordinat 
Dorazio are advocates of the run: 
shoot, The problem is that most of the 
Ter talent, particularly at quarter- 
back, is not well-suited to Dufiner’s style. 
Call it a rebuilding year. 


BIG EAST 
Miami 11-0 
Syracuse. 10-1 
West Virginia. 8-3 
Pittsburgh 8-4 
Rutgers x 7-4 
Boston College. 5-6 
Virginia Tech .. 47 
Temple... 2-9 


nd Syracuse are definite top- 
al, and the Hurricanes can at 
ast grab a share of another national 
champi (it would be the fifth since 
1983) if they can overcome a tough 
schedule. 


West Virginio, coming off a disappoint- 


ing 6-5 record last season, could sur- 
prise. Coach Don Nehlen has yet to 
decide whether Darren Studstill or Jake 
Kelchner will take the snaps from 


“Our specials today are breast of chicken, breast of 
roast beef and breast of lobster.” 


147 


> Playboy All-America center Mike Comp- linebacker Tom McManus is outstand- 
ton. Appropriately named wide receiver ing. With players such as quarterback 
© James Jett, a seven-time All-America Will Furrer and lineman Eugene 
ха sprinter, gives the Mountaineers a deep- Chung, Virginia Tech figured to be better 
> раз threat, Tailback Adrian Murrell, than the 5-6 record it posted last season 
who rushed for 904 yards last season, But Furrer went out with a leg injury, 
should be even better this year. Nehlen is and losses to East Carolina and Virginia 
m looking for impact players on a defense in the final two games ruined the Hokies 
m that was riddled by injuries last season. Chances for a winning season. Coach 
Junior safety Mike Collins could be one. Frank Beamer has to settle on а new 
Pittsburgh should improve its 6-5 record quarterback and shore up a defensive 
of last season, but the Panthers are still front where three of four starters from 
unlikely top-20 material. Coach Paul last year are gone. Center Jim Рупе is 
Hackett has so far failed to find offensive Tech's best player. Temple returns only 
tools to complement senior quarterback ВВС starters from last season’s 2-9 
Alex Van Pelt, who needs only 494 yards (бат, which was plagued by turnovers 
to surpass Dan Marino as the school'sall. (83) and poor passing (41.5 percent 
time passing leader. Ригу problems on “OMpletion ratio) 
defense were exacerbated when ends 
Sean Gilbert and Keith Hamilton en- BIG EIGHT 
st NFL drafi as juniors. The Nebraska 
feast on the likes of Kent та 
"^ solorado 
and Louisville but don’t match up with Kansas... 
Notre Dame, Penn State and Syracuse. Kansas State. 
Miami transfer Brian Fortay is coach Missouri 
Doug Graber's likely choice to handle Re ee ае 
the quarterback spot for Ruigers. With 18 
starters returning from last year’s team While Nebraska, Oklahoma and Col- 
(6-5) and some soft touches on the Be 
Schedule. the Starlet Knights should 9980 continue to sit comfortably atop 
прос Б the Big Eight, perenni 
again post a winning record. It wasn't E PE RET Pe have cerned 
too many years ago that Boston College 549 and сане uve deed nodas 
figured among the nation’s football еше. а! they can no longer be disregarded. 
The schedule, without enough blue-chip Glen Mason has done an impressive 
talent, simply did in the Eagles and Гог. building job at Kansos, where the Jay- 
mer coach Jack Bicknell. New coach hawks recorded their first winning Sea- 
Tom Coughlin coaxed four wins out of 0n (6-5) since 1981. Chip Hilleary, re- 
his squad last season, and the schedule turning for his third season as starting 
maker bas tried to help by replacing quarterback, should provide Kansas 
Michigan with Northwestern. However, with offensive stability and leadership. 
nonconference opponents Notre Dame The Jayhawks have their best and deep- 
and Penn State still loom. Inside ем defensive unit in memory. Eight 
ANSON MOUNT SCHOLAR/ATHLETE 
ognizes achievement in the 
ssroom as well as on the football field. Nominated by their colleges, candi- 
dates are judged by the editors of млувоу on their collegiate scholastic and 
athletic accomplishments. The winner attends PLAYBOY'S pre-season All-Ameri- 
ca Weekend (held this year at the Sheraton Bal Harbour Hotel in Bal Harbour, 
Florida), receives a bronzed commemorative medallion and is included in our 
All-Amer photograph. In addition, rrAvnov awards $5000 to the gen- 
eral scholarship fund of the winner’s college. 

This year’s Anson Mount Scholar/Athlete is James Hansen from the Univer- 
sity of Colorado. Jim was an honorable mention All-Big Eight performer at of- 
fensive tackle last year. An aerospace engineering major, he is a two-time GTE 
Academic All-America, a two-time student of the year in Colorado's School of 
Engineering and a Rhodes Scholar candidate. His grade-point average is 3.94. 

Anson Mount Award nominees whose scholastic/athletic accomplishments 
deserve honorable mention are: Shane Hackney (New Mexico State), Steve 
Neeleman (Utah State), Troy Hoffer (Ball State), Tom Burns (Virginia), Steve 
Wasylk (Michigan State), Tim Ruddy (Notre Dame), Scou Huflord (Air Force), 
Robert King (Texas Tech), Greg Hoffman (Utah), |. J. Joe (Baylor), Michael 
Kozub (Navy), Mike Stigge (Nebraska), Jocy Wheeler (Rice), Mike Compton 

Singleton (Southern Mississippi), 
Pat O'Neill ( se), Justin Hall (New Mexico), Scott Dennis (Temple), Chad 
Loup (Lou State), Mike McElrath (Army), Chris Hutchinson (Michigan), 
Carlton Gray (UCLA), Chris Park (Ohio University). 
18 LL 


start turn from last year’s squad, in- 
cluding Playboy All-America Dana Stub- 
blefield and Gilbert Brown at the tackle 
spots. If Kansas wins the easy games and 
pulls off one upset, the Jayhawks could 
go bowling. Kansas State will also field a 
solid defensive unit with two all-conter- 
ence performers returning (linebacker 
Brooks Barta and safety Jaime Mendez), 
along with several honorable mentions. 
State's defense yielded just 17.3 points 
per game in conference play last year. 
Coach Bill Snyder will decide between 
junior Jason 5 iasso and senior Matt 
Garber at the quarterback spot. Eric Gal- 
lon returns afier gaining 1102 yards last 
season. Coach Bob Stull has so far been 
le to turn things around at Missouri. 
Stull's three-year record is 9. . and 
the Tigers finished an anemic 
season. Bright spots for Missouri this 
season will be 65” junior quarterback 
Johnson, whom pro scouts are al- 
ready eveing, and wide receiver Victor 
Bailey, who had 29 catches for 508 yards 
last season. Stull's defense appears de- 
void of impact players. Oklahoma State 
suffered through а 0-10-1 season 
Sophomore defensive end Jason Gildon, 


who set an OSU single-season sack 
record with 16. is the Cowboys’ only 
standout player 
BIG TEN 
Michigan... 10-1 
Ohio State... 83 
юма 8-4 
Indiana. 74 
Minois 7-4 
Michigan State 6-5 
Wisconsin 5-6 
Purdue. 47 
Minnesota... 2-9 
Northwestern 1-10 


Despite the loss of Heisman winner 
Desmond Howard, Michigan has more 
than enough talent to win another Big 
‘Ten title. Ohio State will offer the Wolve 


ines their sternest challenge, provided 
the Buckeyes can find a capable quarter- 
k to replace graduated Kent Graham. 
am facing the chal- 
lenge of replacing a veteran quarte: 
back, since two-time All-Big Ten Mau 
Rodgers has departed. Coach Hayden 
Fry, who guided the Hawkeyes to a ten- 
win season last year, will look to Jim 
Hartlicb, who played well last season 
when Rodgers was injured. Fry also has 
to replace 1000-yard rusher Mike баш 
ders. Marvin Lampkin, who averaged 
yards a carry as a backup last year, 
will get the call. Center Mike Devlin is 
the best of an excellent offensive line. 
Iowa's defense notch down from last 
year’s with the loss of several key players, 
including end Leroy Smith. The first 
half of the Hawkeye schedule is bruta 


with games against Miami, Colorado, 
Michigan and North Carolina State. Indi- 


ano will rely on the capable hands and 
feet of senior quarterback Trent Green, 


(©1982 Playboy. Al Rights Reserved. 


PLAYBOY 


150 


who last year passed for 2627 yards and 
12 touchdowns and rushed for another 
202 yards and 13 TDs. Coach Bill Mallo- 
туз питье is replacing gradu- 
ated running back Vaughn Dunbar. 
Brett Law, Emmett Pride and Jermaine 
Chaney will all get their chance out of 
the backfield. The Hoosiers return seven 
starters from a unit that led the Big Ten 
in total defense last season. Eight wi 
and a sneak into the top 20 is a possi 
bility for this team. Lou Tepper, who 
picked up the coaching reins from 


John Mackovic just before Illinois lost to 


UCLA in the John Hancock Bowl, is 
counting on senior quarterback Jason 
Verduzco and a solid offensive line to 
carry the Illini while a young but talent- 
ed defense learns the ropes. Verduzco 
will finish as Ilinois all-time leading 
passer if he matches his 1991 numbers. 
‘Tepper thinks his young defense will be 
among the best in the nation by years 
end. He's particularly impressed. with 
sophomore linebacker Dana Howard 
Michigon State, picked by most prognosti- 
cators to finish in the top 20, suffered 
through an embarrassing 3-8 season last 
year. The Spartans looked slow, con- 
fused and uninspired under coach 
George Perles, who spent much of his 
time and energy in a battle with the 
school administration over his dual role 
as coach and athletic director. Perles 
finally relinquished his AD duties this 
past spring and is now focused on his 
football team. Perles’ offensive line is big 
(sophomore tackle Shane Hannah is 
66”, 320 pounds) and Бу mid-season 
should be experienced enough to open 
big holes for running back Tico искеп, 
the Big Ten Offensive Player of the Year 
in 1990. The defense will certainly be 
better than last y unit, which al- 
lowed opponenis an average of 380 
yards per game. Barty Alvarez is slowly 
rebuilding Wisconsin's football program. 
Last y ez coached the Badgers 
to their best season (5-6) in seven y 
and signed several outstanding rec 
in the off-season. Pass defense 
turnov 
consin's success last ye: nd the de- 
fense will have to carry the burden again 
this season if the Badgers are to succeed. 
Seven starters return from last year's 
unit, but, unfortunately lor Alvarez, All- 
America cornerback Troy Vincent is not 
one of them. It took а good part of last 
season for Purdue's players to grasp new 
coach Jim Colleto’s I-formation attac 

The new scheme, which emphasizes the 
run, did pay off, however, as the Boiler- 
makers improved from ushing 
yards per ga in 1990 (last in Division 
1) 10 177.7 yards last year. With opposing 
defenses now having to respect the run, 
quarterback Eric Hunter should have 
better opportunities to pass. Purdue's 
best player on the defensive side is nose 
guard Jeil Zgonina, who led Big Ten 
nemen in 1991 with 123 tackles. For- 


and 
$ accounted for much of Wis- 


mer TCU coach Jim Wacker takes on a 
major rebuilding job at Minnesota, The 
olden Gophers are coming off a disap- 
pointing 2-9 showing. Gary Barnett, for- 
mer offensive coordinator at Colorado, 
assumes one of the most formidable 
coaching jobs in all of college football by 
taking over for Francis Peay at North- 
western, Just to give you a hint of Bar- 
news problems, the Wildcats, who open 
against Notre Dame, struggled against 
suited-up alumni in the spring game. 
With Peay gor nd Stanford's Dennis 
Green being named head coach of the 
Minnesota Vikings, there is currently no 
African American head coach in Division 
1 college football. 


BIG WEST 


Pacific. 

San Jose State. 
Nevada > 
№ уада-Ё as Vegas. 
Utah State... 

New Mexica State 
Cal State-Fullerton 


Let's see if we can get this straight 
Fresno State has defected from the Big 
West to the Western Athletic Conference. 
Long Beach State dropped its football 
program. The University of Nevada has 
come on board and will play a full Big 
West slate of games this season. North- 
Illinois, Southwestern Louisiana, Ar- 
State and Louisiana Tech will join 
the. Big, West and willl play: conference 
schedules—next season. Confused? Try 
to remember this: There are some pow- 
erhouse offensive football teams in the 
pass-happy but defenseless Big West. 

Example: The University of the Pacific 
averaged more than 36 points per game 
last season but allowed opponents more 
than 40. The 
one of the best quarterback 

ation. Корр, a sei 
among NCAA 
touchdowns (79), ninth in pass efficiency 
(139.8) and 20th in total offense (8438 
yards). Teammates Aaron Turner and 
Ryan Benjamin have some impressive 
credentials of their own. Turner needs 
just seven TD catches to break the NCAA 
carecr mark of 38, and 77 receptions to 
break the total for receptions. Benjamin 
is the nation’s top returning all-purpose 
running with 1581 yards and 51 
ass receptions. If the Пре d just a 
of defense, they'd be dangerous. Son 
Jose Stote is another offensive dynamo. 
Quarterback Jeff Garcia was third in 
passing efhciency in the nation last sea- 
son (behind Elvis Grbac and Ту Detmer). 
The Spartans averaged more than 3 
points а game but gave up nearly 27. 
Promising junior-college linebacker ге- 
cruits Jimmy Singleton and Woon Park 


gers return Troy Kopp, 
in the 


offer some hope for the future. Nevada, a 
Division ГАА power the past several 
time. 


years, has made the jump to the bi 
Coach Chris Ault modestly у 
we are a few years away from being а true 


Division I team, but we had to seize the 
opportunity when it came along.” Neva- 
da, which bas won the Big Sky Confer- 
ence championship the past two years, 
should have no problem with the adjust- 
ment, especially since it has two quality 

quarterbacks in Fred Gatlin and Chris 
Vargas and a pack of talented receivers. 

Nevodo-Las Vegos could improve over its 
4-7 record of last season if either of two 
young quarterbacks comes through. Bob 
Stockham is a highly regarded junior-col- 
lege transfer, but John Магас, who dou 

bles as a receiver; is the only returning 
Rebel who has to date taken a Division 1 
snap from center. Charlie Weatherbie, 
former Arkansas offensive coordinator, 
has taken over at Utoh Stote. He's installed 
a wide-open offensive scheme that often 
calls for no running back, even though 
State has a good prospect in redshirt 
freshman Abu Wilson. New Mexico Stote 
coach Jim Hess thinks his 2-9 team of 
last season went from “hopeless and help- 
less to competitive and respectable.” The 
Aggies will have to improve on defense 
and avoid injuries on both sides of the 
ball if they are го remain respectable. Col 
State-Fullerton coach Gene Murphy has 
rapped the Titans’ single-back spread 
ick in favor ofan option апас 
going to have some fun in 1992, no mat- 
ter what happens,” says Murphy, With 
opponents averaging more than 34 
points a game last season, perhaps it 
doesn't matter what offensive scheme the 
Titans run. 


EAST INDEPENDENTS 
Penn State, 
Army 
Navy 


92 
38 
38 


With Penn State assuming a full slate 
of Big Ten games next season, the only 
remaining major Eastern independents 
will be Army and Navy. Army coach Bob 
Sutton, who finished 4-7 in his first year 
of command, loses nine starters from last 
on's unit, including the entire back- 
field. All three quarterback candidates 
missed spring practice because of in- 
juries. The situation with running backs 
and receivers isnt much better. The 
Army delense, headed by free safety 
Mike McElrath, will have to hold the 
line while the offense figures out how to 
play the game. Novy returns 14 starters, 
but that group managed to win only 
one game last season. Coach George 
Chaump has revised the defense and 
shifted personnel to “place our best 
twenty-two players on the held ın 1992. 
Tackle Bob Kuberski is the best Midship- 
man on defense, and quarterback Jim 
Kubiak, running back Jason Van Matre 
and receiver Tom Pritchard are Navy's 
most dangerous offensive weapons. 

. 

Bowling Green has a good shot at re- 
ting as Mid-American champion this 
The Falcons finished off an 11-1 


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ҒЕЖЕЗ WE 


overall season with a 28-21 Californi: 
Raisin Bowl win over Fresno State. 
Coach Gary Blackney returns all of his 
skill-position players, including quarter 
back Erik White, the MAC Play 
the Year last season, and receiver Mark 
Szlachcic, the California Bowl МУР 
Васкпеуз problem will be rebuild 
both offensive and defe 
where most of last year's starters were 


MID-AMERICAN CONFERENCE 


Bowling Green...... 8-3 
Miami Universily ... 27-4 
Toledo. 74 
Western Michigan .. 27-4 
Ball State. 6-5 
Central Michigan 

АКОП... 

Eastern Michigan 

Ohio University. 

Kent. 


lost 10 graduation. Tough nonconfer 
ence games will hurt the Falcons’ ove 
all record. Miami University has one of 
the МАСУ best defensive performers 
in middle linebacker Curt McMillan. 
Coach Randy Walker describes him as 
“one of the best defen: s I have 
ever seen—at any level.” 
starters return from hada з 6-4-1 
squad. Teledo, which lost three games 
by а total of ten points, still managed а 
5-5-1 record. Gary Рика, who is begin- 
ning his second year as the Rockets’ head 
coach, expects to have another strong 
defensive unit. He has installed а spread 
offense in an attempt to throw che Бай 
more often and more efficiently than in 
the past, Western Michigan, 6-5 last year 
under coach Al Molde, with a compara- 
tively easy nonconference schedule, 
should do no worse this year. Ball Stote's 
defensive unit has ranked among the na- 
tion's top 20 in five of the past seven 
years, so it shouldn't have been surpris- 
ing when Nowe Dame hired away the 
Cardinals’ defensive coordinator, Rick 
Minter, after last season. Coach Paul 
Schudel quickly promoted secondary 
coach Tim Burke, h eight defen- 
sive starters back from last ycar, Ball 
State figures to again be one of the better 
defensive teams in the MAC. It was a sea- 
son to remember for Central Michigan last 
year. CMU traveled to East Lansing to 
play Michigan State and, in the first 
game ever between the two, knocked off 
the Spartans 20-3. The Chippewas 
finished the season with four ties (6-1-4), 
which, of course, tied an NCAA record. 
Joc Youngblood succeeds Jel Bender, 
who was a four-year starter at quarter- 
back. Akron makes its МАС debut this 
Gerry Faust's te: 5 56 last s 
an independent. The Zips figu 
to have an anemic offense, with seven 


starters. gone from last season, but 
should have a stubborn D. 
. 


Of course, Notre Dame is the class of all 


152 the independents. After only four years, 


“ball prog 


er of 


coach Doug Rader has lifted Tulso's foot- 


nia last season, got its revenge on the 


n out of the doldrums. Last 
season the Golden Hurricane finished 
10-2, capping the season with a 28-17 


MIDWEST INDEPENDENTS 
Notre Dame.. > 10-1 
Tulsa. 

Cincinnati 


Louisville 
Northern Illinois, 


victory over San Di 
dom Bowl. Rader, still the youngest Di 
sion I-A coach at the age of 35, has Tul 
on the brink of cracking the top 20 (Tul- 
sa finished 21st in the AP poll last sea- 
son). Junior Gus Frerotte will replace 
quarterback T. |. Rubley, and Freedom 
Bowl MVP Ron Jackson will take ovi 
for tailback Chris Hughley 
football team would like to ei 
basketball team’s success of last season, 
but despite returning 16 starters from a 
4-7 squad, improvement is unlikely. The 
Bearcats do have two talented qua 
back candidates in juniors Paul Ander- 
son and Lance Harp. Tailback David 
Small returns alter posting Cincinnati's 
fi 1000-yard season since 1986. Coach 
Tim Murphy has taken the available tal- 
ent as far as it can go. Alter losing 24 se- 
niors from ity 1990 team and quarter- 
back Jeff Brohm to a broken leg in the 
second me of last season, the Louisville 
Cardinals predictably fell on their faces. 
Coach Howard Schnellenberger has 
Brolim back and is too good a coach to 
stay down long. But che climb back io 
national prominence will пос happen 
this season. Northern Illinois (2—9) took it 
оп the chin big time last season, yielding 
an average 33.1 points per game to op- 
ponents while averaging only 13 points 
on offense themselves. Coach Charlie 
Sadler had to start 11 first-year players 
and was forced to use ten players at tail- 
back during the season. Sadler hit the 
junior-college circuit for immediate help 
and the schedule is a little casier. But the 
Huskies have miles to go before they can 
do anything but bark at oppone: 


PACIFIC TEN 


Washington 
California... 
UCLA 

Stanford. 

Arizona State. 
USC... 
Washington State 
Arizona 

Oregon... i 
Oregon State... 


The Pac Ten has more teams in our 
top 20 (four) and more players on our 
pre-season All-America team (six) than 
any other conference. Washington has 
another dominating team, and Califor- 
nia, UCLA and Stanford are extremely 
talented. 

Arizona State, beaten 25-6 by Califor- 


Golden Bears by hiring Bruce Snyder, 
the Bears coach, to head up the Sun 
Devils’ program. Snyder will install the 
aggressive, attack-style defense that so 
many teams are adopting, spring 
Snyder wasn't able to decide who his 
starting quarterback would be—he likes 
all three candidates: junior Bret Pow- 
ers and freshmen Garrick McGee and 
Grady Benton. The Sun Devil he's most 
impressed with is split end Eric Guliford 
(53 receptions for 801 yards last season), 
who he says “has the courage to catch 
the ball in the middle and the agility to 
catch it on the sidelines.” These 
tough times at USC. The Trojans finished 
a miserable 3-8 last season and, consid- 
ering the tough schedule, may not be 
able to avoid another losing season this 
year. The heart of the problem is a weak 
defense that too often left the offense in 
bad field position or playing catch-up. 
Coach Larry Smith, who doesn't have as 
many impact players as he had in the 
past, will use a lot of people defensively, 
particularly linebackers, and will try to 
Create havoc for opposing offenses by be- 
ing aggressive. The Trojan offense, with 
quarterback Reggie Perry and tailback 
Deon Strother returning, should be bet- 
ter than last season. Playboy All-America 
tackle Tony Boselli, only a sophomore. is 
another in USC’s long tradition of great 
linemen. Flanker Curtis Conway is a 
dangerous return man. If the Trojans 
don't show better results than last sea- 
son, Smith could be in trouble despite 
a recent contract extension. Washington 
State returns all offensive starters from 
last year's squad that generated 4348 
yards in total offense. Quarterback Drew 
Bledsoe is the trigger man in the Cougar 
attack. The 657 jui who threw for 
2741 yards and 17 ‘TDs last season, 
already has pro scouts drooling. The 
Cougars, under coach Mike Price, were 
young defensively a year ago, with as 
many as four freshmen starting. Arizona, 
4-7 last year, probably doesn’t have 
enough talent to avoid another losing 
season. Billy Johnson, the team’s leading 
rusher last year, isn't likely to be at full 
strength after February surgery on an 
Achilles tendon, and wide receiver Terry 
Vaughn will be slowed by recent knee 
surgery. Coach Dick Tomey will rely on 
versatile sophomore Chuck Levy, who 
started the final four games of last season 
at quarterback, can run from the tail- 
back spot and can return kicks. If Levy is 
used as a rusher, ambidextrous senior 
George Malauulu will get the call at 
quarterback. Oregon got off to a 2-0 start 
last year before injuries, particularly at 
quarterback, soured the Ducks’ for- 
tunes, Coach Rich Brooks was forced to 
play five quarterbacks during the course 
of the season, rendering Oregon оНеп- 
sively ineffective. Two of the injured 
QBs, Danny O'Neil and Doug Mus- 
grave, are fully recovered and head 


Sal 
knows a 
proved! when he мак he 
Northern lino 
when he took o 
State is that the Be: 
right talent to r 
offense. Result ibone has at- 
tempted to remedy the m by re- 
cruiting Roman Foster, a junior-college 
option quarterback, and prep option 
standout Rahim Muhammad. In addi- 
tion, sophomores Mark Olford and 
Sedrick Thomas may have learned 
something in their trial by fire last sca- 
son. OSU has more athletic ability and 
speed on defense than it has had in re- 
cent years, but it’s probably too soon to 
look for many Ws. 


didn't have the 
il option 


SOUTH INDEPENDENTS 


Memphis State 
East Carolina... 


Louisiana Tech.... 

Souther Mississippi... 
Southwestern Louisiana 
Tulane " 


With unaffiliated teams dwindling to 
a precious few, Memphis State, East Саг- 
olina, Southern Mississippi, Cincinnati 
and Tulsa formed the Independent 
Football Alliance during the off-season. 
The purpose of the alliance (not an 
official conference) is to ensure schedul- 
ing and, the schools hope, to find some 
TV markets. 

Memphis State could be one of the sur- 
prise teams of the year. The Tigers re- 
turn 19 starters from a team that won 
five games and was blown out only by 
Tennessee last year. Chuck Stobart, who 
was USC' offensive coordinator before 
taking over at MSU two seasons ago, will 
favor the pass over the run as soon as he 
decides on a starting quarterback. Joe 
Cole, the backup QB last season, will be 
pressed by redshirt freshman Darrell 
Williams and junior-college transfer 
thews- The Tigers starting de- 


tact and is led by All-Ami 
Danton Barto. East Carolina 
son of seasons last year. The Pirates lost a 
game nailbiter | to o ШЕ 


ed ninth in the national rankings. 
Winning brought its own problems, as 
head coach Bil 
Georgia Tech. 


salto 1 

him. Replacing qua Jel? Blake 
and All-America пера Robert 
Jones, both of whom have joined the 
NFL, may not be so simple. Louisiana 
Tech faces its most difficult schedule since 
moving up to Division LA three years 
ago. The Bulldogs, coached by Joe 


M you're a friend of Jark Daniels we'd Ше In hear Kom you Drop us a line and we oromise to write back 


ON TANYARD HILL ROAD in Jack Daniel's 
Hollow, you'd swear automobiles had never been 
invented. Only trucks. 


You'll see grain trucks headed for Jack Daniel 
Distillery with the best corn American farmers can 
grow. You'll see flatbeds with hard maple wood 
for the charcoal that mellows our 
whiskey. And you'll see barrel trucks 
headed for aging houses deep in the 
hills. What you won't see is any of 
them moving very quickly. Because 
if there's anything slower than our 
oldtime whiskey-making process, 
its che trucks on Tanyard Hill Road. 


SMOOTH SIPPIN' 
("TENNESSEE WHISKEY 


Tennessee Whistey « 40-43% alcohol by volume (80-86 proof) « Distilled and Bottled by 
Jack Daniel Distillery. Lern Motlow, Proprietor, Route 1. Lynchburg (Pop 361), Tennessee 37352 


Placed in the National Kegisterof Historic Places by the United States Government. 


> 


PLAYBO 


154 


Raymond Peace, will be quarterbacked _ Until the Ra; 


by 67. 230-pound Sam Hughes, who some points, their defense, which returns 
has already been compared by some nine starters, will have to hold the line. 


s learn to score 


with Tech alum Terry Bradshaw. Jason 
Davis, the fourth-leading rusher m the 
nation (135.1 yards per game), also re- 


SOUTHEASTERN CONFERENCE 


y EASTERN DIVISIDN 
turns. Tech, which posted strong records 
x $ " Florida... T € 11-1" 

the past couple of years, will find this бока, Pet 
year's schedule to be rough, with seven Tennessee... ` 74 
road games against opponents such as Varderil ез 

Ва а reri IMLUCKY........ и 
Alabama, Baylor and West Virginia. Fert a 
Southern Mississippi will miss star 
back Tony Smith and 17 othe WESTERN DIVISIDN 
from last year's 4-7 squad. A new defen- Alabama... Е: 1-17 
sive coordinator was hired by coach Jeff Loc degit E 
Bower, and the Golden Eagles will shift Mississippi na 
to a4-3 alignment. Southwestern Louisiana ‘Auburn... MM 5-6 
sullered through its worst season (2-8-1) Louisiana State ЕЕ 
since 1981. The culprit? No offense. includes SEC pay-c game 


WL averaged only slightly more than 
13 points per game. The fact that only 
seven starters return on the offensive ш 
may be a plus for coach Nelson Stokley 


two divi 


REST OF THE BEST 


QUARTERBACKS: Rick Mirer (Моше Dame), Gino Torretta (Miami), Eric 
Zeier (Georgia), Elvis Grbac (Michigan), Jason Verduzco (Illinois), Alex Van 
Pelt (Pittsburgh), Marvin Graves (Syracuse), Troy Kopp (Pacific), Drew Bled- 
soe (Washington State), Trent Green (Indiana), Shawn Jones (Georgia Tech), 
Erik White (Bowling Green) 

RUNNING BACKS: Jerome Bettis (Моше Dame), ‘Trevor Cobb (Rice), Derek 
Brown, Calvin Jones (Nebraska), Glyn Milburn (Stanford), Ricky Powers 
Michigan). Robert Smith (Ohio State), Terry Kirhy (Virgi Frrict Rhett 
(Florida), Garrison Hearst (Georgia). Greg Hill (Texas A&M), Kevin Williams 
(UCLA), Tico Duckett (Michigan State), Adrian Murrell (West Virginia) 
RECEIVERS: Andre Hastings (Georgia), David Palmer (Alabama), Eric Guli- 
ford (2 опа State), Clarence Williams (Washington State), О. J. McDuffie 
(Penn State), Willie Jackson (Florida), Lamar Thomas (Miami), Aaron Turner 
(Pacific), Freddie Gilbert (Houston), Stephen Shipley (TCU), John Henry 
Mills (Wake Forest) 
OFFENSIVE LINEMEN: 


ike Devlin (lowa), Randall Parsons (North Caroli- 
na), Jim Pyne (Virginia Tech), Steve Everitt (Michigan), Robert Stevenson 
(Florida State), Todd Steussie (California), Alan Kline (Git State), Tre John- 
son (Temple), Tom Scott (East Carolina), Mike Bedosky (Missouri), Kevin 
Mawae (LSU), Mark Govi (Tulsa), Bob Garman (Washington State), Willi 
Roaf (La. Tech), Jesse Hardwick (Fresno State), John James (Mississippi State) 
DEFENSIVE LINEMEN: Jeff Zgonina (Purdue), Jason Gildon (Oklahoma 
State), Sam Adams (Texas A&M), Reggie Barnes (Oklahoma), Coleman 
Rudolph (Georgia Tech), Chris Hutchinson (Michigan), Zack Rix (Fresi 
State), Leonard Renfro (Colorado), Dan Williams (Toledo), Darren Mickell 
(Florida), Bob Kuberski (Navy) 

LINEBACKERS: Darrin smh (Miami), Demetrius DuBose (Notre Dame), 
1 Hill (Nebraska), Greg Biekert, Chad Brown (Colorado), Carlton Miles 
(Florida), Ron George (Stanford), Arnold Ale (UCLA), Curt McMillan (Miami 
University), Brooks Barta (Kansas State), Dana Howard (Illinois), Raymond 
Bowles (San [ose State), Barry Minter (Tulsa), Mark Parris (Ball State), Danton 
Barto (Memphis State) 

DEFENSIVE BACKS: Roger Harper (Ohio State), Tom Carter (Notre Dame), 
Eric Castle (Oregon), Lance Gunn (Texas), Sebastian Savage (North Carolina 
State), Jimmy Young (Purdue), Carlton McDonald (Air Force), Derwin Gray 
(BYU), Larry Kennedy (Florida), Mike McElrath (Army) 

KICK RETURNERS: Curtis Conway (USC), Tony James (Mississippi State), 
Fred Montgomery (New Mexico State) 

PLACE KICKERS: Craig Hentrich (Notre Dame), Scott Bonnell (Indiana), 
Doug Brien (California), Eric Lange (Tulsa) 

PUNTERS: Pat O'Neill (Syracuse), Shayne Edge (Florida), David Lawrence 
(Vanderbilt), Tommy Thompson (Oregon), Mike Stigge (Nebraska), Mitch 
Berger (Colorado), Brian Parvin (UNLV) 


The SEC has added new members 
Arkansas and South Carolina, split into 
ons (East and West) and will 


at the end of the regular season between 
the divisional winners. Florido and Geor- 
gio are the two best teams in the East, 
and Florida is probably the best team in 
the entire conference. 

Johnny Maj 
season heart su 
jor rebuilding jaba lennessee, where 27 
seniors—including impact. players such 
as quarterback Andy Kelly and safety 
Dale Carter—have departed. In addi- 
tion, All-America wide receiver Car 
Pickens passed up his senior year to 
en he NFL draft, leaving Tennessee 
hout an All-America pass-catching 
candidate for the first time in recent 
memory. Heath Shuler and Jerry Col- 
quitt are two promising sophomore 
quarterbacks, but they have completed 
only three forward passes between them 
on the level. The Volunteers 
will probably run often this year, using 
James Ше Man” Stew and Aaron 
Hayden. two sophomore running backs 
who combined for more than 1600 yards 
as freshmen last season. All of last sea- 
son's starting linebackers are gone, as 
are three of four players in the sec- 
ondary. Gerry DiNardo did a terrific job 
year as Vonderbilt coach. Be- 
fore last season, he took his team to a 
n camp at Bell Buckle (the 
led it Hell Buckle), Tennessee, 
for two-a-day workouts. The team devel- 
oped a toughness and chemistry not ap- 


parent previously, and the Commodores 
went on to finish the 
record 


number of wins the team had ace 
lated over the prior three seasons. Di- 
Nardo has 17 starte ek from last year 
and his eye on a winning season. Quar- 
terback Marcus Wilson. who led the SEC 
last season in scoring with 68 points in 
just eight games, is one of the ret 
DiNardo's biggest concern is 
tailback Corey H 
moved on to the 


© 
has managed to coax only seven wins out 
of the Wildcats, so now he's installing 
a new offense that features both the 
triple option and а wide-open passing 
game in an effort to bolster their point 
Sophomore quarterback 
Pookie Jones, an excellent scrambler, ap- 
ars ideally suited to run the show. 
nce member South Corolino 
сез a rugged eight- 
2 schedule with an unproven 
corps and а 


New confe: 


college game. Sophomore running back 
Brandon Bennett (702 yards) will get a 
lot of work. The defense, which gave up 
an average of more than 24 points per 
game last season, will be sorely tested by 
this season’s schedule. 

In the West, Alabamo should reign 
supreme, though the Crimson Tide 
had better be alert when it makes а 


а conference championship game —— 


mid-November trek to Starksville, Mis- 
pi, to play Jackie Sherrill's quickly 


improving Mississippi State team. Sherrill 


lived up to his reputation as a winner last 
season by guiding MSU to its first wi 
ning record since 1986 (7-5) and first 
bowl game (Liberty) since 1981. And he 
has more talent to work with this ye: 
Quarterback Willi серу” Robi 
son, who ranked second in the SEC in 
passing efficiency last season, returns. 
Plus, the Bulldogs have added wide 
t, a Pitisburgh trans- 
fer who could be a big-timer. Sherrill will 

a couple of junior<ollege All- 
America transfers, running back Kevin 
Bouie and linebacker Lateef Travis. 
Arkansas coach Jack Crowe's four years 


of experience as an assistant to Pat Dye 


at Auburn should come in handy now 
the Razorbacks are playing in the 
SEC. Crowe has Greg Davis as new of- 
fensive coordinator and the Hogs plan 
to use а one-back set. Much about the 
new offense rem: темей, however 
since Jason Allen and Doyle Preston, 
Crowe's leading candidates at the quar- 
back spot. were held out of contact at 
ng practice because both wei 
ering from knee surge 
coach Billy Brewer shook thi 
the Rebels fi 
hired new offensi 
dina 


e and defensive coor- 
ors and tossed UM's split-back for- 
ion in favor of the increasingly pop- 
k alignment. Quarterback Russ 
nd running back Marvin Court 
from last season, as does 
Everett Lindsay, a Playboy All-Amer- 
ica guard. An entirely new defensive 
scheme ensures that Rebels on both 
sides of the ball will have the chance to 
у in the season. The 
name Eric Ramsey has seared its way in- 
to Auburn football tradition, but пог be- 
cause of any gridiron heroics. Ramsey is 
the former Auburn player who charged 
that he received illegal benefits i 
ing cash from members of Aubu 
coaching staff and an alumnus. 1 


story generated widespread negative 
publicity for Dye and the Auburn foot- 
ball prog nd a preli 
gation by the NCAA is underway. But 
Dye, who resigned as athletic director, 


continues to survive as head football 
coach. However, if the Auburn Tigers 
have another losing season (they fin- 


ished 5-6 last year), Dye's job may not be 
secure. In order to win, he thinks 
‘Tigers have to toughen up. “Somewhere 
we've lost that edge we might have had 
at one time around ће s the 


coach. And he concedes, “We don't have 
much ability as we've had in the past.” 
Stan White will begin his third year 


as starting quart ck. But much of 
the offensive line is new and there is no 
big-time running back in the backfield. 


Unless Louisiono Stote can pull off an than enough 
upset against early season opponents епс 


fourth losing 


backing duties will likely go to Chad 


Unfortunately, one loss was LSU's best 
ver, AII-SEI 
Todd Kinchen. 


. 

Rumors abound that the Southwest 
Conference is about to come ара 
as is said to fancy a spot in the Big Ten 
and Texas A&M would love to play 
ances are the conference w 
fold from the bottom up, with hints that pro-style pas 
Southern Methodist may be ready to should benefit senior qu 
drop Division I play for financial reasons. 

In the meantime, Texas A&M has more 


State Texas A&M, 
Ка хап TC an ENGI MTs le ЕЕ Texas Christian 
by a scant eight-point total. Quarter Ju 
á с Texas Tech 
Loup, who has had considerable experi- Baylor... 


a starter. In fact, LSU returns Rice 
wht offensive starters from last year. 


‘Southern Methodist 


‘alent to win the conte 
itle this year even without an expe 
s State, the —rienced starting quarterback john 
gers may tumble to their Mackovic, fc 
on in a row. Coach 
Curley Hallman's charges played well 
last season in close losses to Florid 
and Alabama, but three Tiger wins were Texas. 


mer athletic directoi 


SOUTHWEST CONFERENCE 


and 


wide receiver 


head coach at Illinois, has taken over as 


coach at Texas. The Longhorns, who 


finished a disappointing 5-6 last se: 
lost two standout delensive line play 


Tex- Shane Dronet 


n 


“And you must be Wendy's beau." 


on, 


nd James Patton, to the 
nce Gunn in the secondary is 

nce-caliber player ог be 
ic will switch Texas into a 


g game 


that 


terback Peter 
Gardere, who has had an up-and-down 


career with the Longhorns. Running 


155 


PLAYBO 


156 


Butch Hadnot is outstanding when 
healthy. Texas Christian returns 16 start- 
ers from last season's 74 team, which 
should augur well for first-year coach 
Pat Sullivan, TCU has an excellent pass- 
catch combo in quarterback Leon Clay 
and wide receiver Stephen Shiplev. The 
Horned Frogs will enjoy an early soft 
schedule that could see them 5-0 gon 
into their October 17th reality-check 
meeting with Miami. Injuries are a con- 
cern for Sullivan, since his team is thin 
at several positions. Last season was 
tremendously disappointing for Houston 
and then-Heisman-c 


mbled through Houston's offensive 
пе almost at will, forcing Klingler to ei- 
ke the sack or run for his life. The 
s lost four of their first five games 


the 
Couga 
as their highly touted offense sputtered 


By the end of the season, it was the de- 
fense that fell apart, allowing TCU and 
Texas Tech a combined 101 points. 
Coach John Jenkins hired a new dele 
sive coaching stall in the off-season 
expects immediate improvement 

ald Douglas, not as good a passer but a 
nner than predecessors Andi 

Ware and Klingler, will start at quarter- 
bac can only hope the Cou- 
7 offensive line will be improved over 
1 season. Texas Tech played with a split 
personality last year: 1-4 to start the sea- 
son, then 5-1, including wins over bowl- 
bound Arkansas and Baylor. Coach 
Spike Dykes has 14 si k and 
hopes his Red Raide 
where they left off. Quarterback Robert 
Hall, who led last year's turnaround 
when he took over as starter for the final 
games, is only a junior. Boylor, which 
built a reputation for tough defense the 
past several seasons, must rebuild defe: 
sively, since only three starters return 
Coach Grant Теа. who took on the 
added responsibility of athletic director 
this past spring. thinks defensive end 
Albert Fontenot and linebacker Le'Shai 
ton are solid players to build on. The 


nd 
Don- 


offense in quarterback |. J. Joe and 
backs David Mims and Robert 
. However, they'll be playing be- 
hind an entirely new offensive line. 
followers have dreams of a winning 
season for the first time since 1963 and 
a Heisman Trophy for running back 
Trevor Cobb. Coach Fred Goldsmith 
alls this tea he best that we've had in 
my four years here,” and Cobb will get 
Heisman votes if he comes close to du 
's 1692 yards rush- 
ing. With opposing defenses ganging up 
on Cobb, quarterback Josh LaRocca and 
some of the other Owls will have to step 
up their level of play, Southern Methadist 
sullered through an injury-riddled 1-10 
season last year under first-year coach 
lom Rossley. All but two startet om 
the offense return this season, but the 
the offense managed only 12.8 points 


per game he Mustangs lost 


iwo qu knee injuries їп 
1991. Mike Romo, SMU s third highest 


all-time pa 
return this 


ng leader, will probably not 
season, and the other, Dan 
was unable to participate in 
spring drills, Wide receiver Jason Wolf 
needs only 46 catches to become the 
SWC all-time reception leader—if some- 
one can be found to pass him the ball. 


WESTERN ATHLETIC CONFERENCE 


Brigham Young 84 
Fresno State. 8-4 
Air Force 8-3 
‘San Diego State 6-5 
Шап, » 6-5 
Wyoming 6-6 
Colorado State 5-7 
Texas-El Paso. „47 
Hawaii Я 448 
New Mexico 0 


Brigham Young coach LaVell Edwards 
has yet to settle on which of five sopho- 
mores will replace Ту Detmer at quar- 
terback Гог the Cougars. Whoever 
the snaps in Edwards’ offensive system is 
likely to pile up big numbers. BYU's de- 
fense is quick and deep. particularly at 
linebacker, where Todd Herget was im- 
pressive in the spring. If the Cougars get 
off to a good start against Texas-El Paso 
in their opening game, they'll be the 
favorites to win the conference. Fresna 
State, 10-2 last year, moves from the Big 
West to the WAC. The Bulldogs led the 
nation in scoring (44.2 points per game) 
and total offense (541.9 yards per game) 
last year. ch Jim Sweeney is looking 
forward to playing the tougher WAC 
schedule. “I think the schedule 
is going to challenge us so that there 
can be no letdown.” Trent Dilfer should 
be а capable replacement for four-year 
starting quarterback Mark Barsotti. 
Sweeney's biggest headache is replacing 
nine starters from last season's defense. 
Its more than a little ironic that Air Farce 
football philosophy is run, run, run. But 
that’s what coach Fisher DeBerry has 
done with the Falcons and the results 
(10-3) h cular. Air Force, 
which 38-15 
drubbing of Mississippi State in the Lib- 
erty Bowl, ran up 4057 yards rushing 
out of its wishbone attack. With the 
graduation of quarterback Rob Perez, 
Jarvis Baker will step in to key the Fal- 
cons’ atta f Zarlton Mc- 
Donald, the WAC Defensive Player of 
the Year, returns for his senior season. 
San Diego State has one of the most excit- 
1g players in the country in Playboy All- 
g back Marshall Faulk. 
After Miami’s game 1 the Aztec 
last season, Hurricane coach Dennis E 
kson said, “We think of ourselves as а 
pretty good tackling team. We simply 
couldn't tackle Faulk.” The freshm 
running back totaled 154 yards vushi 
against Miami, proving that his amazing 
numbers (1429 yards rushing in only 


season) and 
receiver with blazing speed 
An improved defense will be required in 
order for San Diego State to challenge 
for the conference crown. Utch has 
steadily improved under third-year 
coach Ron McBride. The 7-5 Utes, who 
led the conference in total defense last 
season, will add Houdini Nua to their 
defensive line in an effort to keep the 
magic alive. Sen back Frank 
Dolce, who threw for 2444 yards and 16 
touchdowns last season, will be joined by 
newe amal Anderson, a jur 
back McBride 


4-6-1 season that saw the Cowboys deci- 
mated by ghi defe: 
starters were knocked out of action by 
the end of the year and 25 Cowboys un- 
derwent surgery during the season 
Coach Joe Tiller will have some experi- 
enced young players returning, since 
many were pressed into action prema- 
turely last season. Defensive tackle 
Thomas Williams (65", 290 pounds), 
who was suspended last year, has put in 
a lot of time in the weight room and 
should make an impact this season. 
Earle Bruce's rebuilding program at 
Colorada Stote got sidetracked last sea- 
son. The Rams, who won five games 
in Bruce's first year as coach, then nine 
games two years ago, finished a disap- 
pointing 3-8 last season. Bruce isn't de- 
terred. “I want to see this program take 
off, really grow.” The Rams’ best player 
is wide receiver Greg Primus, who a 
ly has 133 career receptions. Now 
coach Bruce has to decide who'll be 
throwing to him. Texos-El Paso is in good 
shape at quarterback, where two-year 
starter Mike Perez is backed up by high- 
ly recruited freshman C. 
ton. Coach David Lei 
is putting together 


gest challenge 
offensive line to 
play in front of them, Three consecutive 


mid-season road games will tell the story 
for the Gold Miners. Howoi's hopes for a 
winning season were dimmed when slot 
back Jeff Sydner headed for the main- 
land and the NFL a year early. The 
Rainbows, whose defense was the best in 
the conference four of the past five 
y another blow when de 
fensive coordinator Rich Ellerson d. 
parted. Coach Bob Wagner ге 
iously upbeat. “If our guys sta 
we could be all right" 

chione ta 
g New Mexico's footba 
g a defense will be E 
first priority The Lobos allowed opp 
gc of more than 39 points 


ars, suffered 


nains cau 


g job of 
I team. 


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BILLY CRYSTAL continued fion page 100) 


in California, where Mr. Saturday Night is 


PLAYBOY 


158 


“Buddy is the angriest character I play. He’s a big 


wrinkled child who doesn’t know how to handle life. 


> 


what's just been said. Along with the 
sweet, sometimes sentimental comedy 
that's become his hallmark—such as the 
scene in City Slickers where he attempts 
to rescue the drowning calí—he has 
been writing and developing innovative, 
often tougher pieces of work. Beneath 
that comfortable surface. he's always оп 
red alert 

As the creator and co-writer of Sessions, 
an HBO venture that came and went 
in six all-too-brief episodes, he used 
psychoanalysis as the framework for a 
raunchy, shrewdly funny exploration of 
a modern male's life. On Comic Relief. the 
annual televised fund-raiser for this 
country’s homeless, he has been strongly 
political. “What the fuck planet do you 
live on?” he asked George Bush on this 
year's show through the mouth of an old 
black man whose store had been burned 
1 the Los Angeles riots. 
Farlier this year Crystal directed his 
first feature, Mr Saturday Night, and 
played the starring role, much of it be- 
neath elaborate old-age make-up. The 
movie spans 50 years in the life of Buddy 
Y Jr., the acidulous stand-up comic 


he created and played on cable in 198: 
then on Saturday Night Live and more ful- 
ly and furiously on the 1986 HBO come- 
dy special Don't Get Me Started. 

ши, is Ше angriest character | 
play,” Crystal says. “He's a child. a big 
wrinkled child. He doesn’t know how to 
roll with the punches, how to handle life. 
And he doesn't quite know what he's an- 
gry at. Hi gry at it, at whatever И is 
that's not working, and his anger knows 
no boundaries. The movie goes back and 
forth in time a great deal, and it's an in 
limate character study of this man who 
spoils everything he touches: wife, fami- 
ly, career. 1 ightmare that | 
would have for myself.” 

. 

А hunched, slow-blinking, vinegar- 
voiced old man in a tuxedo stands on 
stage clutching a microphone. He looks 

familiar, the same way the old man 
2001, when Keir Dullea opened 
the door of a Louis XVI room and saw 
his own future. We are not, to be s 
some space-time continu 
planet Jupiter. Rather, we're on location 
in a sunny recreation hall at Lake Malibu 


“Do you want lo know what's 


wrong with 


this neighborhood? Nobody knows how to make a 


decent egg cream anymore 


p 


place in a Florida condo. Here Buddy 
Young, Jr., finds himself stuck at one 
o'clock in the afternoon with an audi- 
ence of white-haired old men and blue- 
haired old ladies. 

Yet there's a time- lity to thi 
scene, too, for it predicts Crystal's facial 
future. According to the contours of the 
latex. prosthesis that takes five or six 
hours to apply every morning. Crystal's 
nose at the age of 72 will have broad- 
ened, his lips will have thinned and his 
flesh will have strayed more than slightly 
from its skeletal moorings. Does it scare 
him to look at his older self on a TV 
monitor between shots, or in dailies on a 
larger. less forgiving screen? “Oh, that's 
a nut | chew on a lot" Crystal says with 
an uncertain grin. “Because it’s not all 
that different from now.” 

Age doesn't make Buddy grin. lt t 
him sour and rageful, which drives 
br у 
scribes Mr. Saturday Night as а comics 
version of Raging Bull. In the scene be- 


brother's plea to make nice with the au- 
dience, descends from the stage and 
heads for a little old lady on the aisle. 


“Moses called.” he tells her. “He said 
you'rea great fuck.” 

The little old lady, part of a group of 
extras bused in from a Jewish commu: 
ty center in Encino, wants to be amused 
because she loves Billy Crystal as a 
man—as a mensch—but his character's 
cruelty leaves her genuinely shocked. 
That's perfect for the logic of the scene. 
Crystal shoots several takes, changing 
the words a little, varying the rhythms 
and intonations: “Moses called. He said 
to tell you you're a great fuck.” Or, 
“Moses called; he wanted me to tell you 
you're a great fuck.” 

Gradually the old lady's shock lessens 
to surprise, and then into indiff 
She has become, God help us, a trouper. 
I'm still startled, though, every time the 
hostile old man with the mike turns to 
the director of photography, Don Peter- 
man, and asks in Crystal's own buoyant, 
vibrant voice how the shot looked. And 
Um battled when another old lady walks 
up to the director and star between 
takes, surveys the sorrowful ravages of 
his face and says brightly, “You look great 
this way. You look like Paul Newman!” 
It’s either cataracts or eternal hope- 

. 

Mr: Saturday Night resonates with Crys- 
ial's feelings about the great comedians 
he grew up with, such men as Sid Caesar, 
Jonathan Winters, Carl Reiner and 
rmie Kovacs, and with the sometimes 
ghastly, sometimes glorious folklore of 
the comics trade. 71 love comics so 
much,” Crystal says. He then eagerly 
counts the ways his love was first ex- 
pressed. and requited: staying up late as 
a preschooler to watch Caesar, staying 


hoot ng a scene that's supposed to take — — 


up even later prepubescent to watch 
Winters-on-Fhe-Jach-Puar-Show-and-eut- 


Test, Throw Momma from the Train, The 
Princess Bride, Memories of Me, When Har- 


ting out a picture of Mel Brooks 
Reiner from The 2000-Year-Old Man al- 
bum cover and carrying 
in his pocket. 

Later, as Crystal made his own way 
through the minefields of stand-up, co- 
medians came to see him, Some of (hem 
were people whose work he'd memo- 
rized and performed as a kid. “Bill Co: 
by started to come down and watch me 
at the Biter End in Greenwich Village. 
take me out afterward, talk to me about 
what I was doing. That meant a lot to me 
because he wa ro. Then I 
got to know Belushi pretty well, and Dyl- 
an came in a couple of 
like this is where I was supposed to be. 
"You re supposed to be т front of а brick wall 
at the Bitter End, and talk." 

On the journey from clubs to ТУ, 
Crystal hit some turbulence—he got 
bumped from the fist Saturday Night 
Live and wasn’t sure where he was sup- 
posed to be for several years thereafter. 
But with his gifts as a writer, performer 
and mimic, he became a m ау on lat- 
er editions of Saturday Night Live and 
populated his comedy specials with such 
characters as fatuous Fernando, cataton- 
ic Joe Franklin and the two aging Ju- 
niors, Sammy Davis and Buddy Young. 

His inevitable next step was into fea- 
tures—as an actor in such films as Rabbit 


ry Met Sally and Running Scared, as a pro- 
ducer-performer-cum-minimagnate іп 
City Slickers and now, in Ме Saturday 
Night, as an artist in full control of his 
medium. 

Here again, Crystal seems to have 
landed exactly where he was supposed 
to be—in the company of other comics 
turned film makers, people such as 
Woody Allen, Steve Martin and Albert 
Brooks, who have managed 10 create a 
little Golden Age of handmade movies in 
the midst of Hollywood's dross. 

The picture took a huge physical 
toll—nine months from start to finish, 
five months in actual production, 83 

ays, with 52 of them in the 
old-age make-up that left only enough 
time lor three hours sleep. By the end of 
production, Crystal's exhaustion had be- 
come a way of life. But so, too, had his 
role as a high-tech painter possessed 
with putting his vision on the screen. “I 
love every inch of it,” he said. “1 love 
touching every nook and cranny.” As the 
shooting days dwindled to a few, Crystal 
began to think about the transition he 
would have to make, т a period of ex- 
actly three weeks, from wrapping his 
first feature as director and star to host- 
ing the 64th Academy Awards show. 
I's so strange,” he said during the 
last week of production, “thinking Гуе 


got 10 tell jokes. I've got to come up with 


> 


What's deeply strange is how the Os- 
cars have taken over Crystal's career. 
Here's a man who has spent most of his 

ult life developing himself as an artist, 
yet a single show of su ing goofiness 
has made him one of the best-known 
celebrities on the planet. 

This year especially, Crystal drew reac- 
tions and reviews that few performers 
would dare dream of. ABC News апопи- 
ed him Person of the Week. "His comedy 
and class have made more than one 
rathon Oscar broadcast eminently 
atchable," said Peter Jennings. “Here is 
a man who will take chances im front of 
hundreds of millions of people. 

Most viewers can still recall what he 
did in front of the cameras: his rat-a-tat 
of one-liners in his opening song—Did 
Barbra Streisand’s movie direct itself? 
that lent the show honesty as well as 
laughs. But the more you know of what 
went on backstage, of Crystal's state of 
mind and weakened body before the 
show, the more you're inclined to look 
back on his performance as a kind of 
public ecstasy, a comic’s high that must 
have ranked with the highs of Olympic 
athletes going for the gold, gamblers 
breaking the bank or astronauts running 
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was miserably sick and getting sicker. 
Dressed in blue jeans, white sneakers, a 
black crewneck sweater and а navy blaz- 
he grabbed every chance he could to 
get off feet. When I arrived at the 
Dorothy Chandler Pavilion around eight 
o'clock, I found him sitting in the dark on 
a piece of scencry, off to the side of the 
stage, sipping tea. A few minutes later, 
when a disembodied voice summoned 
him to rehearse the start of the show, he 
stood up, traded his blazer for a tuxedo 
jacket, hit his mark and said, “Ladies 
and gentlemen, I have а horrible cold. 

That was the understatement of the 
evening, and of the following day. What 
he had, in the wake of his numbing fa- 
tigue from Mr: Saturday Night, was a 103- 
degree fever and pneumonia. He'd been 
so sick over the weekend that the pro- 
ducer, Gil Cates, lined up Tom Hanks as 
а last-minute replacement; as late as 
Monday alternoon Hanks looked like a 
good bet to host the show. 

“I can't stand up anymore,” Crystal 
told Cates at two o'clock. “И I'm going to 
do the show in four hours, I can't finish 
the rehearsal.” 

He never did finish. Having already 
run through his musical number, which 
was what concerned him the most, he 
fell asleep and recharged his batteries 
enough to propel himself into the spot- 
light when the show went on the 
Once out there, he had plenty of jokes to 
fall back on. Crystal and a trio of wi 
friends—Bruce Vilanch, Robert Wuhl 
and Crystal's manager, David Steinberg 
(no relation to the comic of the same 
name)—had been generating new mate- 

al for weeks, winnowing out the stuff 
that didn't work, stockpiling the stuff 
that did and compiling an enormous 
script that, like a football coach's play- 
book, allowed the host and his offstage 
cohorts to plug in clever plays and witty 
options in response to what was happen- 
ing on siage. 

Yet по amount of preparation could 

have anticipated Jack Раапсез prepos- 
terously—and only semi-intentionally— 
funny acceptance speech for Best Sup- 
porting Actor in City Slickers. The 
moment Palance started doing one-arm 
push-ups and puffing up his sexual 
prowess, Crystal felt a new kind of fever 
p his body and clear his mind. 
When I came back out—we'd gone to 
commercial right after Jack won—I went 
to the podium, said Jack was a man of 
few words and went into this thing about 
how he’s on the StairMaster at this point. 
Then I stumbled into the Ironman com- 
petition, m getting more laughs, and I 
say, Мей keep you posted,’ and I'm get- 
ting screams, and I know I have it, oh, 
here we go!” 

ОПмацс again, Crystal rushed to his 
writers and said, “We're gonna run with 
this.” Immediately, they started search- 
ing for the next joke. “I go, All right, I 


С this, what about bu 


нес jumping, next 
one could be bungee jumping, what 
about that? Next time i go out, I say, 
‘Jack Palance is bungee jumping off the 
Hollywood sign.’ Oh, big one, boom! 1 
come offagain, go to the guys. Bob Wuhl 
wants to run ‘He's the sexiest man alive. 
Is funny, we can use it later, but it isn't 
strong enough for now. Meanwhile, ten 
or fifteen litle kids flying around the 
stage in the number from Hook, I'm go- 
ing toward the podium, I turn to Bruce 
Vilanch and 1 go, ‘He's the father of all 
these kids, and Bruce cracks up. So 
when I got out there Г just went, ‘Jack 
Palance is the father of all these kids.” 
Oh, this gigantic laugh! It was fun! It was 
alive! | felt the line and it was exciting.” 

Three hours into the show, Crystal felt 
less alive. He thought he was going to 
pass out. “They had a nurse and a doc- 
tor standing by, and they took me to an 
office, and there's Paul Newman. Не 
looks at me and says, "You OK? 

“They lay me down, and Paul New- 
man is putting а pillow under my head, 
and they're giving me these sucrose 
drinks, taking my pulse and my blood 
pressure, and he’s telling me how much 
he loved City Slickers. 1 mean, it's Paul 
Newman, and he looks great, he's telling 
me how good it is and I'm going to be 
OK, and he's feeling my head. 

“They get me back into pretty good 
shape, and my heart rate is OK, so I go 
out again and I see this intro Um sup- 
posed to read for Shirley MacLaine and 
Liza Minnelli, a last-minute change 1 
hadn't seen that makes absolutely no 
sense. I'm so tired, it's something about 
past lives, and I'm going, What is this? 
It's crazy! 

“But that morning, when they picked 
me up at home, I'm reading the LA. 
Times in the саг as we're driving in and 1 
see Bill Clinton's ‘I didn't inhale,’ and I 
u . I gotta say this tonight, this has to 
be my opening joke—didn't inhale. But 
I stay away from it, stay away from it, 
stay away from it. And, finally, at that 
point when I'm feeling high myself, it 
Just came out. Didn't inhale. It was bold 
and it was funny and unexpected, be- 
cause I was lost with this crazy intro, and 
it just Нем ош. That's how the whole 
show went for me this year.” 

. 

For all you jazz fans out there, imagine 
sitting back in the good old days and lis- 
tening to a band composed of Buck 
Clayton and Henry “Red” Allen on 
trumpets, Zutty Singleton on drums, 
Willie “the Lion” Smith on piano, Топу 
Parenti on clarinet, Tyree Glenn on 
trombone and Eddie Condon on guitar. 
What is it, you may ask, an all-star group 
assembled for a concert by Downbeat 
magazine? No, и is the band that played 
at Billy Crystal's bar mitzvah. 

Jazz musicians were regular members 
of Crystal's extended family. His father 


ran the Commodore record shop, a jazz 


course, and Crystal's own happine 


a-on-52nd-Streer-and-Le 

Avenue, and his uncle unded 
modore Records, so Billy and his two 
brothers knew Billie Holiday as a baby- 
sitter as well as a singer, and their house, 
as he likes to recall, always smelled of 
brisket and bourbon: “There'd be Zutty 
ingleton at Passover going, “Bitter 
herbs—do 1 eat this or smoke this? 

No wonder, then, that Crystal's collec- 
tion of comic characters includes the 
black clarinetist. Face, which was Billie's 
name for him as a child, or that 
Crystal. plays. black. characters. without. 
apology or hesitation—and often with- 
out make-up—but with great accuracy of 
ear and heart. 

Yet music was only part of the loamy 
soil in which Crystal's comedy grew. He 
still beams when he recalls the living 

oom of his grandmother's house, five 
blocks from his own, ш Long Beach, 
Long Island. “It was the greatest room 
voull ever . . . everyone has that room, 1 
hope. As soon as you walked in, every. 
one's arms were around you, people 
loved you, you loved seeing them. It was 
a fantastic family that, like all families, 
had a lot of ups and downs, but they just 
loved one another. My mother didn't 
have many friends, she didn't need an 
she had all of her family. So I think 1 
couldn't have ended up any other way 
than the way Lam.” 
Everyone doesn't have that room, ol 


g 


o 


hattered atthe-age of 18 by his father's 
sudden death from a heart attack. But 
the formative years before that seem to 
have been singularly sweet, and his 
memories of them clearly inform such 
work as his Midnight Train to Moscow 
comedy special, which began with him 
hearing funny voices à la Field of 
Dreans—"1f you go there, take а jack 
et" —included a touchingly awkward en- 
counter with a group of cousins and oth- 
er long-lost relatives living in the Soviet 
Union and ended with a meeting on a 
п train between him and a radiant 
young woman, played by his daughter 
who turns out magically to be 
his grandmother Sophie at the age of 15, 
emigrating to the United States. 

That's vintage Crystal—the sentimen- 
tality is unabashed, the sentiments are 
heartfelt. In a profession that bristles 
with angry, bitter performers, he some- 
times seems like the last happy man. His 
work has been criticized for being too 
sweet, and he knows it. But he also 
knows who he is and how much he real- 
ly cares about friends and family. “Гуе 
also been painted as being scared and 
obsessed about dying or getting older, 
but it isn't that at all. | just feel the pre: 
sure of liking what Um doing and liking 
my life so much that 1 want as much of it 
as 1 can have in the time allotted to те 

“Tve become more in touch with that 
as I turn around and see that Jenny's out 


the door, and my younger daughter 


Jenny so much now that she's away, 1 
miss them both when they re here. 1 miss 
times that blurred by because | was 
working so hard.” 

A couple of years ago, as the speaker 
at Јеппу high school graduation, he 
said a lot of smart, hip, funny things 
about youth, and his audience ate it up. 
But he wanted them to know why adults 
get gushy as they watch their kids move 


оп. so he spoke with characteristic emo- 
tion: "When you have held a tush in 
your hand, or fallen asleep with a beat- 


nt on your chest, 


Je n 
mare he might have had for hi 
ly Crystal is the man that Buddy might 
have dreamed of becoming—a ре 
former who parlayed a gı 
grandmother's living room into a 
rewarding life. 

“The living room 
strongly,” Crystal says, “and the memo- 
ries of my brothers and me making peo- 
ple laugh. There was that, there was on- 
ly that, getting laughs, it was the greatest 
thing, / loved lo make my folks laugh. 1 can't 
alyze it. If you write that | need to be 
hugged and loved, fine, I have a good 
time doingit. I give alot, I get a lot back.” 


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(continued from page 88) 


ing every emotion and statement frac- 
алатот тапок slivers C Thar's 


“I доп know if x 


vhat Pm remembering is really true!’ 


she sobbed. T don't want the memories to be true!” 


emanating from the rubber-hose scs- 
sions. My ego was starting to fecl 
mugged by mass emotion. And we still 
had гес days to go! 

Next on the itinerary was "sharing." 
That meant we would take turns sit- 
ng in front of everyone else and t 
about our abuse. Many women look d 
fearstruck. But Beth said we had to do 
this. For one thing, she said, hearing the 
other stories might trigger memories. 

First up was Andrea. She was short, 
overweight, in her early 30s and from а 
family she said belonged to a satanic sex- 
and-torture cult. Andrea talked disjoint- 
edly about the rituals practiced when she 
was a child. Black robes, candles stuck 
upa child's vagina and anus. Knives and 
swords fatally impaling a child. A sac- 
rifice. Body parts consumed to glorify 
the Devil. 

She shook and cried while speaking. 
and seven other women moaned in sym- 
pathy like some strange Greek chorus. 
They, too, were ritual-abuse survivors. 
Most suffered from multiple-personality 
disorder. 

Andrea Бай a terrible problem: In her 
memories she saw her mother in the 
cult. Yet her mother was a good person, 
Andrea loved her. So what did this 
mean? “I don't know if what I'm remem- 
bering is really true!” she sobbed. “I 
don't want the memories to be true! I 
don't want them to!” Distraught, she 
burrowed into Beth's bosom. 

Beth chucked philosophically. “An- 
drea, all the wants in the world can't 
change what you know. You really know 
inside what happened, but you spend all 
your energy saying, “No, it didn't’ You 
need to face those memories, that rage. 1 
want you to get onto a mattress. Now." 

After Andrea, a competition began 
over satanic abuse. Cathy said she'd been 
in a cult where she killed three children. 

Babies! And not only did she wield the 
fatal knife but she also excised the livers. 
Of her own kids! After Cathy hobbled 
hysterically to the mattresses, Teresa told 
us that her father was the king of a cult 
with headquarters just a few miles down 
the road. Just three weeks earlier, he had 
summoned her to the headquarters and 
raped her. The idea, Teresa said, was to 
impregnate her, let her go, then capture 
her in nine months and sacrifice her 
newborn. 

Everybody gasped at this horrible 
conspiracy involving a rapist active in 
the local area, as well as a plan to murder 
someone. But not one person suggested 


162 Calling the police. I didn't either—1 


didn't want to be seen as а perpetrator 
interfering with Teresa's work. 
iod," Donna said later. “People who 
were sexually abused in satanic cults. Af- 
ter that, who wants to listen to how Dad 
used to criticize my schoolwork?” 

. 

Indeed, а good ritual-abuse story at 
this retreat was about as hard an act to 
follow as a confession in Salem village— 
and, according to many experts, just as 
bogus. 

Myths about evil adults torturing chil- 
dren are universal. Such tales express 
people’s anxieties about their own infan- 
tile aggressive and sexual impulses, fear 
of other groups and forebodings about 
social change. The Romans accused 
їапѕ of sacrificing Roman babies. 
tians leveled similar charges 
against Gnostics, and later against Jews 
for slaughtering gentile children to make 
Passover matzo. 

But what if a thoroughly modern 
adult talks about growing up in a cell of 
а transgenerational, international satan- 
ic megacult, being raped on an altar, suf- 
fering ritual abortions and eating fetus 
es? Since the carly Eighties, hundreds of 
women—and some men—have claimed 
they remembered such scenarios. Once, 
they would have been labeled hysterical, 
schizophrenic or borderline-personality 
fantasizers. Today, many are diagnosed 
as suffering from multiple-personality 
disorder. 

Because this disorder is thought to re- 
sult from severe childhood abuse, many 
therapists now take the ritual-abuse sur- 
vivors' stories literally. 

The problem is, no one can find e 
dence to back up these stories. With 
hundreds of people talking about thou- 
sands having killed tens of thousands, 
one would expect to run into somelhing— 
a body, skull, finger bone, missing-chil- 
dren reports or the cults’ financial 
ledgers. Yet despite extensive police in- 
vestigations, nothing has turned up. 
Lack of evidence has made skeptics of 
officials such as Kenneth V. Lanning, the 
FBI's expert on ritual-abuse claims. In a 
recent issue of the journal Child Abuse г? 
jeglect, he concluded that because "vic- 
57” stories are so unsubstantiated, it is 
now “up to mental health professionals, 
not law enforcement, to explain why vic- 
tims are alleging things that don't seem 
to be true.” 


. 
Sunday: 
Day three, and I was half deaf from 
the banshee mattress noise, sick of hear- 


your inner two-year-old crying," the 
therapists would tell anyone who started 
weeping. To anyone who joked, argued 
or cursed, they would say, “What a cute, 
rebellious inner teenager you havet”) И 
was also tiresome to be handed a piece of 
hose and ordered to pretend a phone 
book was my mother or father. (I cant," 
1 would say, "Pm not that mad.” They 
urged me to just fake it.) 

But it was never tiresome to hear the 
complicated reality that poked through 
the most bizarre stories, and that could 
be found on top of even the ordi 
ones 

The improbable accounts, for in- 
stance, seemed fraught with guilt about 
normal sexuality. Ritual-abuse survivor 
Cathy fingered а crucihx as she recited, 
in rote tone, details of eating the livers of 
newborn babies. Real emotion. didn't 
come until she told of having "fallen in 
love with a married man when | was in 
school,” in the early Sixties. "I was a vir- 
gin then—at least I thought I until I 
remembered the cult stuff recently —and 
the first time we had sex, I got pregnant. 
He wouldn't get a divorce. So 1 had an 
abortion. I killed my own baby! My own 
baby. The worst thing I've ever done!" 

Louise seemed bored when describing 
how her mother administered electro- 
shocks to her vagina when she was four 
months old. Yet, she moaned, mortified, 
as she remembered getting pre; 
high school and having her mother send 
her away to give up the baby. 

There were also stories that were so 
prosaic in their detail that they could be 
nothing but real. Carol covered her eyes 
as she told about the time her mother 
was hospitalized, and Carol was starving 
for attention. At night her father started 
getting into her bed and fondling her 
genitals. At first she was grateful for the 
айеспоп, but then she knew it was 
wrong. Later, when she told her mother, 
the family had a powwow. Her father 
said, “Whats the problem? I didn't pen- 
etrate her! Besides, she wanted it.” Then 
beat her black and blue for 
embarras ng their father. 

А housepainter who worked mostly 
alongside men, Kim had an exceptional- 
ly generous take on the world (she tried 
to deal nicely with co-workers who called 
her things like honey or bitch). But she 
was terrified of male violence. During 
the Vietnam war, she said, if she and her 
sisters suggested that Nixon shouldn't 
bomb Cambodia, her Army colonel fa- 
ther would beat them until the girls said, 
“Yes, Daddy, yes, we support the war." 

Stories like these seemed 100 un- 
adorned and 100 concrete to be concoct- 
ed, intentionally or not. They moved me 
to tears, and to anger—anger at the big 
and little indignities girls and women 
commonly sufler at the hands of mei 
and patriarchy. But anger, too, at the 


MAKE RESPONSIBILITY PART OF YOUR ENJOYMENT. 


PLAYBOY 


164 


swimsuit competition atmosphere of this 
retreat. At least at Atlantic City, 1 
thought, you'd be allowed to take the 
stage if you presented the requisite tits, 
ass and coiffure. Here, you couldn't go 
оп unless you qualified as а vietim—and 
not just any victim. The only kind that 
cut it here was one who'd suffered the 
stigmata of rape, torture and black 
robes. Then there was the talent show. 
You had to demonstrate how perfectly 
you could mother your sweet, innocent 
inner child. The therapists kept talking 
about how we were uniting here to heal 
from incest, how this was so liberating 
for womankind. I couldn't quite see it. 
From Miss America to some postmodern 
Virgin Mary? Is this how far we'd come? 
The prospect seemed discouraging. 

The reward—to mount those mat- 
tresses and go noisy and muscular with 
anger—was tempting. Clearly, the wom- 
en here lusted to do this. And why not? 
As we sat bunched together, I remem- 
bered the old Si 
ing groups, those dialogs about our dai- 
ly lives, histories and miseries, where we 
hammered out how they all fo 
terns, and how we should ch: 
politically. Now we were in the Nineties 
monologs, higher powers, stuffed ani- 
mals. Still, it was seductive to pound on 
things, to scream, to say dirty words as 
loud as we could, to cry. 

But what happened to people who 
couldn't remember their victimization? 
Marilyn, who had been only battered, 
round raging in piteous frust 
tion: "No one's paying attention to me!" 
she wailed. Lee, a stockbroker whose 
mother was merely alcoholic, shrugged 
in disgust and vowed never again to at- 
tend a retreat. Others felt abashed but 
resigned. "I have to live with the fact that 
I may never remember anything,” one 
person sighed. 


ran а 


. 
In another city not far from this room 
full of matt 
herself Jane Doe sat working. She is one 
of a growing number of people whose 
children are accusing them—wrongly, 
the parents say—of sexual abuse 


sses, a woman who calls 


ents, if not retired. Their offspring are 
long grown. These adult children are 
claiming their parents did terrible sex 
al things to them when they were small, 
and even when they were not so small. 
Jane's 33-year-old daughter, for 
stance, has accused her father of molest- 
g her from when she was three and 
ping her between the ages of 14 and 
16. Yet she did not remember any of thi 
until two years ago, when she went into 
therapy. She revealed her memo 

rents during the Christmas holi 
days in 1990, when she invited them to 
fly cross-country for a visit to her home, 
and then kicked them out hours after 
they got off the plane. She told them 


they couldn't see thc dren 
again. С 

Jane and her husband have known 
each other since they were young chil- 
dren, and she swears he is psychological- 
ly incapable either of committing incest 
or lying if he had. Robert Brisentine, Jr 
a nationally known polygraph expert, 
has given Jane’s husband а lie detector 
test and concludes he is truthful when he 
denies abusing his daughter. 

Jane believes her husband unstinting- 
ly. Afier she published an anonymous 
arde about her family in the journal 
Issues in Child Abuse Accusations, and atter 
The Philadelphia Inquirer mentioned the 
episode, both publications were deluged 
with calls from people reporting similar 
experiences. 

Concerned parents in Philadelphia 
formed the False Memory Syndrome 
Foundation. The foundation has heard 
from more than 550 parents throughout 
North America. Their children are scat- 
tered around the country, too, but all 
seem to share one experience: Only al- 
ter they were exposed to therapy did 
they recall incestuous abuse that their 
relatives swear didn’t happen 

А spokesman for the False Memory 
Syndrome Foundation says they revea 
common patterns. Most accuser: 
well educated, from upper-middle-c 
families with the usual tensions. Some 
have serious problems: Roseanne Ar- 
nold's father, for instance, who with his 
wife belongs to the organization, admits 
to having beaten Roseanne once. Often, 
the group says, children's letters of accu- 
sation arrive on Mother's or Father's 
day. Some accusers sue their putative 
molesters for damages. Even if things 
are resolved before they reach court, 
families can be estranged 

Janice Haaken, a professor of psychol- 
ogy at Portland State University, has 
written about the relationship of fantasy, 
memory and reality, She is disturbed 
that some therapists fail to distinguish 
the diflerence. In The Courage to Heal, 
readers are assured that “no one fanta- 
sizes abuse.” “Only ‘real’ memories are 
deemed worthy of attention,” Haaken 
says. "If you say, This actually happened 
to me," the therapists concern is elicit- 
ed. If you describe a fantasy, it isn’t.” 
Haaken thinks she knows why the incest- 
recovery movement—even one based on 
false memories—is so seductive. "Wom- 
en are experiencing tremendous splits. 
On one level they have achieved tremen- 
dous gains, fundamentally challenging 
traditional gender roles and discrediting 
discriminatory practices. Yet much is still 
the same, and though women may feel 
more competent in their public roles, 
their personal lives feel harder. The con- 
tradiction can make them feel troubled, 
preoccupied with primitive rage.” 

According to Haaken, women and 
their therapists are often at a loss 10 jus- 
tify this rage. “Many of my patients are 


y grande 


feminists,” she says. “They've drawn on 
concepts of goodness in women, and 
they don't know what to do with psychic 
material that expresses aggression. 
Therapists may seck easy ways to assure 
women that their aggressive impulses lie 
outside them. A simple way to do this is 
to conclude that violence really hap- 
pened, to seek out literal culprits and 
traumas. “This kind of therapy assumes 
women have no aggressive fantasies, 
none of their own sexual agency,” says 
Haaken. 

But the therapeutic rush to fracture 
women cripples their ability to under- 
stand themselves and reality. If this is 
unfortunate for family members who 
may be illogically and falsely accused, it 
evokes another tragedy. “I worry about 
the cry wolf phenomenon,” says Richard 
;reen, who teaches law and psychiatry 
at UCLA and who edits the Archives of 
Sexual Behavior. “We may one day look 
k at this period as just another fad in 
psychiatry, part of an antisexual bac 
lash we're experiencing in many areas 
now. But meanwhile, there really 
abuse out there, and if enough people 
make false accusations, eventually no 
one's going to believe anything. 

. 

Monday morning: 

On the retreats final day, we sang Lil 
Ше Rabbit Foo Foo and Michael Row the 
Boal Ashore, and Kim the painter stood 
up to say how wonderful it was that we'd 
made a community of women here in 
these woods. The therapists nodded, 
and people cried and hugged. Then 
Donna addressed the group 

“I had a dream last night," she said 
‘An incest dream.” She looked calm, re- 
lieved. “Besides my father, other people 
were there. It felt good. But that makes 
me feel ashamed.” 

Beth the therapist answered on cuc. 
“Donna,” she said, “you've made you 
start. When your kids inside are ready, 
ies will come.” Everyone 


smiled. 

‘The retreat was ending. People were 
already signing up for the next one 
Beth gave us titles of books to read to 
help us with our hi by the 
daughter of a dead Hollywood screen- 
writer. This screenwriter, his daughter 
ys in the book, used to stick a fire pok 
er and parts of a doll up her vagina, but 
she didn't remember it until she was in 
her 40s and was hypnotized, 1 
to hypnotize yourself, she says 
don't give up hope, because м 
beings of white 


tims are 


Donna put down her teddy bear and 
began taking notes. I did, too. 1 will keep 
her last name in my notes. 1 wonder 
when her parents will show up in the 
False Memory Syndrome Foundation 


files. 
El 


ТЕ GREYHOUND. 


{continued from page 128) | 


“I saw in Maria the promise of a sane life. I saw Sun- 
day dinners and afternoon screwing.” 


who worked in the laundry on the first 
floor of our building 

1 wanted to tell her that in any other 
city, in any other place, this would not 
have happened. Nowhere else in Ameri- 
ca, I wanted to say, would a greasy, shi 
filled crespelli like Rocco Giaccalone be al- 
lowed to tyrannize a neighborhood. But 
it was а hot day, I was still мосу from 
the fog cutters and there was no use 
making speeches 

“It was late,” I told her. “1 was tired.” 

"And drunk, too, probably" She 
smiled and pulled her curly brown hair 
away from her face. "You Irish, you 
shouldn't drink." 

Maria was wearing a pair of cutoffs 
The pufly white crescents of her ass were 
peeking out beneath the fringe. 1 
thought again about asking her out. She 
worked for the guy who owned our 
building, and every once in a while she'd 
sneak up to our place for a cup of tea 
One time, l'd made plans to have dinner 
with her, but then I found out she had а 
daughter, so I canceled. Told her 1 had 
the flu. But now, with my car up on jacks 
and my luck running off in а dozen 
directions, I saw in Maria the promi 
а sane life. Т saw Sun: dinners and af- 
ternoon screwing, a little bedroom with 
floral wallpaper and a crucifix hanging 
over the door. I pulled Evan over beside 
the tow truck and asked him if he 
thought she'd give me another chance. 
"Give me some advice,” I said. 

Evan adjusted his glasses and eyed the 
crowd. “Move your car,” he said. 

. 

For days 1 paced back and forth be- 
tween the kitchen and living room, cook- 
ing up schemes for revenge. The good 
plans, like smashing the windows in 
Giaccalone's Fleetwood, were too dan- 
gerous. The safe ones, like waking him 
with phone calls in the middle of the 
night, were so silly that to carry them out 
would only humiliate me further. 

And then, on Friday night, while we 
were out on the fire escape with a bottle 
of White Label, we saw a dog wandering 
down Hanover Street, poking her nose 
into the trash bags on the sidewalk, 

“Is that Coco?" I said. 

“No,” Evan said, "irs the world's 
tall rat.” 

“Fucking Giaccalone. The guy should 
be shot. A dog like that, out eating 
arbage." 
meone should give her a good 
home," Evan said. I smiled at him and 
he smiled at me, and before we knew it, 
we'd staggered downstairs and opened 


the door. Then Coco was in our apart- 
ment, wolfing a piece of New York strip. 
that we diced up and placed in a bowl for 
her. She darted around the apartment, 
sniffing at the furniture. Then, without 
so much as a whimper, she curled up in 
an armchair and fell asleep. 

I balanced myself on the arm of the 
chair and stroked her neck. “The great 
Coco," I said. 

Evan lay on the couch. "The great Co- 
co," he muttered. 


“Did 1 tell y 


1 once won ninety dol- 


Jars on this dog ac 


He began to snore. 

I lay on my bed in my shorts. “Ninety 
dollars.” 

. 

Next morning, as ever, the white cups 
gleamed in their racks behind the 
counter at Caffe Tripoli, the pastries lay 
in rows in the cases and the air had that 
wonderful, bitter taste of espresso. 

But anyone could see that something 
terrible had happened to Giaccalone. 
There were dark circles around his eyes. 
His hair had not been combed. He was 
chain-smoking. He ignored his sweet 
roll and coflee. He picked up the paper 
and put it down, then sat wringing his 
hands and looking out the window like a 
zombie. 

Tony ran in and whispered into his 


peges ot fewer with a 3'x5° card listiag your 


Playboy reserves tbe right to publish the win 
су English-language or for 


1. Contest is open to all college students—no оде lir 
loc, its agents and cfflictes are not eligible. 7. To enter, submit your typed, double-speced manuscript of 25 


Employees and their families of Playboy Enterprises, 


ime, age, сее afilieion, permanent home address cod 
phone number to Playboy College Fiction Contust, 680 North Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, IL 60611. Al entries 
mus! be previously unpeblished original works of fiction and must be postmarked by Janvory 1, 1993,3. The 
decisions of the judges are final. Playboy reserves the right to withhold prizes i no submitted entries meet йз 
usual stundard of publication. 4. Wianers will be notilind by mail aad may be obligntnd to siga aod reium an 
affidavit of eligibility. 5. Playboy reserves the right to ndit the First-prine-winalag story far publication. 6, 
х entries In Ње US. aad foreign editions of Playboy and to 
ign-edition anthologies or compilations of Playboy material. 7. 
‘All manuscripts become Ше property of Playboy aad will nnt be rotomed. 9. 

the responsibility of the wiaoers. For a list of winners, sond a 
North Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, IL 60611. 


ldressad, stomped en- 


y 


PLAYBOY 


166 


uncle’s ear. The old man said somethii 


had, because he always came out after 


out, th 


stopped and wagged her 


пу shook his head. The old 
cuffed him and said, "Then try aga 
and Tony ran out. 

I held the Globe up in front of my face. 
“This is Бецег than sex,” [ said. 

“1 can't remember what sex feels like, 
Evan said. 

"Like your hand, only warmer. You 
think he suspects us?” 

“This guy?” Evan stirred suga 
his cappuccino. “This guy couldn't sus- 
pect his way out of a broom closet.” 

We took a cannoli home for Сосо. She 
met us at the door, wagging her stumpy 
tail. “Look, she actually likes this fucking 
dump,” Evan said. 

She had finished the bacon and eggs 
that Га put out tor her, and there was а 
fresh loaf of dog crap on the newspaper 
under the kitchen table. 1 rolled up the 
paper, tossed it into the trash and set out 
anew sheet 

Evan bent over. "Wait а minute—my 
mother’s soup bowl? A dog is eating out 
of my mother's china?” 

Relax. А dog's mouth is way cleaner 
than a human's. Everybody knows that.” 

“I don’t know that.” He picked up the 
bowl and put it into the sink. 

There was a knock at the door. 1 
looked out the peephole. Mrs. Ronsave 
li was in the Һай ning her neck up 
at me. “Christ,” I said, “it’s the Bride of 
Frankenstei 

“Has she got Gus with her? 

“No,” I said. 

Gus, the neighborhood plumber, visit- 
ed the Bride two or three times a week. 
He carried his toolbox as if he had come 


от so with his hair messed up and a 

п his step. 
“What the fuck does she want? 
said. 

“What, Um а mind reader? Get the 
dog out of here. 

She knocked again 

1 said, “Just a minute." 

“Is Mrs. Ronsavelli. I need to talk to 
you 


Evai 


OK,” I said. “Just a minute.” 

Evan took Coco into his room. 
her if she's wearing any underwear, 
aid. 

The Bride spidered into the room. 
“You boys were playing that music ag: 
last night. 1 asked you not to play that 
music.” 

That's a nice dress, Mrs. Ronsavell 

She clicked her tongue against her 
teeth, then spied the newspaper on the 
floor. “You have а pet? 

“Our pipes leal Maybe you could 
send Gus over next time he's here.” 

She scowled. “There are no pets here. 
They bring fleas.” 

“We don’t have a pet.” 

“You've heard about Mr. Gia 
dog?" 

Ï shook my head. "You mean Сосо 

“Gone.” The old lady nodded. 
The people from the race tra 
her? 

She peered up at me through her 
thick glasses, which magnified her eyes 
nd made her look like a creature from 
outer space. “Where is your roommate?” 

“Doing errands. 1 was just running 
out myself.” 

I opened the door. She began to step 


Ask 
he 


calone's 


took 


“You absolutely certain we haven't been here before?” 


finger "Pe 


bring Teas,” she said. — 
. 


The original plan was to hold Coco 
hostage for the weekend, just long 
enough to put old Giaccalone into the 
cardiac unit at Mass General. But on 
Sunday morning | opened the Globe and 
found he'd placed an ad ойе 
$5000 reward for the return of his dog. 

“Well, folks," I said, “its a whole new 
ball game." 

Evan, of course, had to pretend that 
he had morals. It's a Jewish thing, К. 
Solomon and all that crap. Catholics, we 
just swing away, like Wade Boggs with a 
three-and-two count, and when the sin- 
ning’s done, we go to confession and 
have our souls wiped clean 

1 don't know,” he said. “I mean, 
one thing to pull a hack, but this—this 
would be stealing.” 

I reminded him that | had gone 
along with his idea to put the Jerusalem 
В virus in the sales department's com- 
puters and that Га shared the blame 
with him when he couldn't clear it from 
the server. “You owe me,” I said. “Be- 
sides, the fucker ruined my car. He owes 
me for those tires.” 

“What if they catch us? They'll cut off 
our fucking thumbs. How do you type 
without thumb: 

"You tap the space bar with vour 
stump.” 

In the end he came around, as I knew 
he would. He wanted to do it as much as 
1 did. Who wouldn't? The clincher was 
when I reminded him that his $3200 
Visa balance was going to cost him $576 
in interest alone this year. “You pay it off, 
you can start all over again,” I said. 

“OK, OK, I'm in,” he said. Now that 
we were partners he was all excited 
“The neighborhood's talking about it,” 
he said. “They've got posters up every- 
where and they ve got all the little kids 
out hunting around. I's fucking crazy 
By the way, 1 saw Maria.” 

Did she say anything about me?” 
She said you're a fag and you wear 
your pants too high.” 

“Blow me.” 

"I'm off baby food." 

. 

We rented. post-office boxes іп An- 
dover, Newburyport and Boston, all un- 
der false names, and arranged to have 
the mail to the Boston box forwarded to 
Andover, and the mail to Andover for- 
warded to Newburyport. This was my 
plan. “Clean, simple, elegant,” I said. 
an smirked. “Childish, low-tech, 
roughly unworkable.” 

Hey,” I said, “we're not dealing with 
rocket scientists here.” 

But when we called ссаопез re- 
ward hotline and Evan said, in his 
Squeaky the Clown falsetto, that we 
wanted the money mailed 10 us, the guy 
laughed. “Irs those fucking kids again,” 
he said. “Hey, mail this, motherfucker.” 


Then he hung up-——— 
“Look,” Evan said, “why don't we just 
take the dog down there, tell them we 
found her and collect the money?” 
ойу, Evan, why dont we jump in 
ront of trucks on 1-93? Why don't we 
wander around Roxbury at night? They 
won't pay us—they'll fucking kill us. 
He lay down on the couch and adjust- 
ed his glasses, which he'd repaired with 
black electrical tape so that they made 
him look like someone who'd escaped 
rom an asylum. This was appropriate, 
nce outside our little hostage den the 
city was going crazy. 

On Salem, on Prince Street, on the 
door of St. Anthony's Social Club—the 
whole North End was papered with Co- 
co posters, and up on Bunker Hill, шие 
packs of children spent their evenings 
running through the backyards calling 
for Coco. Reward posters filled the gro- 
cery store windows; the ushers at St. 
Stephen's handed them out at Mass, 
pled to the parish bulletin. At night, Gus 
snuck down the alley behind our build- 
ing, calling to the dog, then ran up the 
back stairs and gave the Bride the high 
hard one. 


. 

On Wednesday Giaccalone raised the 
reward to $10,000, and the Herald ran a 
story on the front page with a picture of 
the old crook looking distraught and 
holding a framed photograph of Goco. 
The headline read, LOST DOG BRINGS 
$10.000 REWARD: “SHE'S LIKE MY CHILD." CAFÉ. 
OWNER SAYS. 

“Café owner? That’s like calling Charles 
Manson a youth-club director,” I said. 

“I didnt know he owned the café,” 
n said. 

“Christ only knows what he owns. 
tossed the paper onto the coffee table. 
"Anyway, ten thousand bucks. I feel like 
goddamn Julius Rosenberg. 

“Whar?” 

“You know, with the Lindbergh baby. 
Julius and Ethel Rosenberg.” 

“The Rosenbergs didn't steal the 
Lindbergh baby.” 

“Well, that’s what you say. But from 
what I've read, there was proof.” 

“The Rosenbergs were convicted of 
spyin, 

“What?” 

“It was a different case. The Lind- 
bergh baby was taken by someone else. 

“Well, whatever.” I picked up the pa- 
per. “That's what I feel like.” 

"You're going to feel like Jimmy Hoffa 


t much longe 
е 


Сосо was not just a dog, she was the 
über-pet, and 1 hated the fact that we had 
to keep her cooped up, because she had 
way too much dignity for that. Take the 
ГУ remote. She knew that when | 
watched TV, I didn't play with her, so 
she used to hide the remote. Only after 
Га played with her fora while would she 
lead me to it. [had nine credits toward a 


— master's degree and this dog was teach- 


ing me tricks. And then, as if to insult 
me, right in the middle of playing she'd 
drop into an armchair and fall asleep, 
and I'd be standing there with a chew 
toy in my hand, feeling like a fool. 

She'd been spoiled. When we brought 
her bones from the butcher or toys from 
the pet store at the mall, or when we cov- 
ered her armchair with a comforter or 
gave her one of my sn to chew— 
never, not once, did she show any appre- 
ciation. She used our gifts and played 


our fetch game and let us pet her, but 


she kept us at a distance. | was never 
sure whether she loved us or despised 
us 

"She reminds me of a girl I went out 


with in college,” Evan said. “Beth Hei- 
delman from Shaker Heights. To 
ТАР” 


Be serious,” 1 said. 
with a girl in college? 

Like fools, we competed for Coco's af- 
fection, We fed her steak at night, bacon 
and eggs in the morning, and at lunch 
we took turns driving home t0 feed her 
hamburger and give her fresh water. 1 
mean, it was sick. A lot of times I'd stop 
on the way and pick up a cannoli 
I could stand there, enraptured, and 
watch as she snapped up the chunks of 
ricoua cheese with her long, musded 
tongue. 

Au night, when we got home, she met 
us at che door. We started calling hei the 
Wife. She watched movi 
with us, she hid behind the armchai 
and peeked out, and if she slept i 
Evan's room, I felt —well, 1 felt j 

P 

We worked at a place called Ionic Soft- 
ware, developing (I use the term loosely) 
а groupware program called Nectar. 
The project was two years past deadline, 
the fake-tan assholes in marketing wi 
screaming for code and we were no- 
where near done. The thing was crawl- 

ng with bugs; every time we fixed one, 
we created two. It was insane. We'd long 
ago decided that Nectar would never ac- 
tually work and that we were simply bid- 
ing time until marketing caught on and 
fired us. "Who gives a shit about gr oup: 
ware, anyway?” Evan used 10 ха 
mean, why do these people want to wor k 
in groups in the first place?” 

Now, with a dog held hostage in our 
apartment and the Mob ready to drill us 
new assholes, neither of us could con- 
centrate long enough to even look for 
bugs in Nectar, let alone fix them. Evan 
spent his days going for coffee and hov- 
ering around the girls in the sales de- 
partment. I played video games, and in 
the evening I found excuses to visit 
Maria at the laundry. 

“We've got a pool going,” she said. 
“Pick the day that Coco comes back and 
you win the money 

“What if she doesn't come bac 

“We give the money to the church. 


“You went out 


We're selling Coco T-shirts. too. 
held up a shirt with a picture of Coco 
and the words HAVE YOU SEEN МЕ? silk- 
screened on the front. “Blue or white. 
Ten dollars. You want one?” 

I bought two—white, extra large— 
and took them upstairs and showed 
them to Evan. “This whole fucking 
neighborhood is out of its mind,” I said. 

He was in his bedroom at his comput- 
er, trading e-mail on one of the X-rated 
bulletin boards. Goco was asleep on his 
bed, muzzled and leashed to the bedpost, 

"Look at this 5 he said 

I leaned over and read the semicoher- 
ent ravings of some fool talking about his 
hard-on to a woman named Gloria and 
following her orders to put an ice cube 


these sick fucks?" I asked. 
an account executive in 


‘est moi. 
ш?" 


с appeared оп the screen: WHAT 
SHOULD 1 DONENT?, it read. 

an typed: TAKE A PAPER CLIP AND СЫР 
IT YO YOUR RIGHI THEN DO THE 
LEFT. 

A line appeared: YOURE VICIOUS, GLO 
ша. 

Evan typed: тнлг м 
YOU, эсим. 

“This is disgusting,” I said. “ 
you 

Last week I made him singe the hair 
off his balls with a lighter.” 

A line appeared: гм BLEEDING. 

1 flipped off the computer, grabbed 
Evan by the shoulder and reminded him 
that we might be bleeding ourselves, and 
bleeding profusely at that, if we did not 
come up with a way to ransom back 
the dog. 

“Fuck off,” he said. “You're the mas- 
termind here.” 


ORIA TO 


‚ven for 


. 
We went to Calle Tripoli. “We can't 
stop going,” I had said. “If we do, кей 
look like suspects. 
ood thinking, Raskolnikov,” 
had said. 
No sooner had we ordered сойее than 
appeared at our table, “Hello, 
7 he said. “How're those new 


Evan 


Great,” 
dog?” 

He snickered. “Why, you got her? You 
fucking her in the ass? You're sick of do- 
ing it to each other, is that it?” 
lou sound jealous,” I said. 

Fuck you. You know what I think?” 
now you did think." 
k you wouldn't know what to do 


1 said. "How's the missing 


w 


Tony,” Evan said, “what is that per- 
fume you're wearing?" 
е 


We were in the lab at work, reading 
other people's e-mail messages off the 


” She_ 


167 


server when-the-solution-came-4o-me.— 


-she's-stilEalive? Маке her bark” 


BRAVE G 


168 


“Evan,” I said, as we closed another of 
the pathetic love letters that our boss, 
McTwigan, had been sending to one of 
the “can you hack into a 
bank?’ 

“Depends. If it’s a 3090, like at Mass 
First, 


ure.” 

n get in and get out?” 

" he said, "on a 3090 I'm Jesus 
Т can walk on fucking water, 


I switched on his modem. “Then start 
dialing,” E said. "I'll make coffee. 

After three hours of fucking up, we 
tapped into the Mass First host system 
We created a new account, using the 
name Gloria Domina; we gave her a bal- 
ance of $250. 


. 

The next day | went to the branch 
office on Hanover Street. “I'd like to 
make a deposit into my wile’s account,” 1 
said. “I don't have her passbook.” 

“No problem,” the teller said. 

She called up the Gloria Domina ac- 
count, took my $100 and handed me a 
receipt that showed а $350 balance. 
“Have a nice day,” 1 said, and after 1 
walked out, Evan walked in and opened 
an account in his name. 

. 

That night we called Giaccalone’s hot- 
line. I listened on the extension; Evan 
did the talking. “Don't hang up,” he 
squeaked. "We're serious.” 

“All right, Tinkerbell,” the guy said. 
“Give me the numbers on the dog's ID 


tag” 


five-five.” 
." He rustled a piece of paper. 
“OK, what's different about the dog's left 


‘уап looked at me. 1 lifted the paw; it 
was white. I mouthed the words It’s 
white. 

“It's white,” Evan said. 

“OK, pal. You bring us the dog, we 
pay you the money. It’s as simple as 
that.” 

"It's not that si 


пре. Get ош a pencil 
and paper and I'm going to give you a 
name and a bank account number where 
1 want you to deposit the money. 
“Oh, fuck. You're not going 
this shit again, are you 
Evan gave me his liule-kid-lost-in-the- 
mall look; I couldn't take it anymore. 
“Look, jerky,” 1 said, “the dog hasn’ 


to pull 


eaten in three fucking days. You make us 
wait another day and we're going to tur 
her into hamburger.” 


“Who the fuck 
“Nobody,” Evan squeaked. He waved 
t me to shut up. "But . . . but we'll do 
what he ll do it, believe me 
“Hold a minute.” The man went off 
the line; when the gain, 


pened 


rk,” he said. 


“You what?” 


“Bark, dick breath. How do I know 


I took off Coco's muzzle, wrapped my 
arm around her and pinched her, hard, 
on the neck. She yelped 
“All right, you sick fucks. Give me the 
account number. And if we don't sec that 
dog by tomorrow night, we go to the 
bank and freeze the account. And then 
we come looking for you 
I's Mass First" Evan said. “The 
name is Gloria Domina. D-O-M-I-N-A 
The account number is one-one-two- 
one-three-seven-fiv 
2" he said. “Isn't that the 
broad who gocs out with Angiulo? Hey, 
who is this? Is this fucking Angiulo? 
ust make the deposit 
Tamburger?” Evan said. “We're go- 
g to turn her into hamburger? 
71 had to get his attention.” 
“You're a deviant, Reilly. A complete 
and utter deviant.” 


red the money to his ac- 
count and we drove to the Mass First 
branch at the mall and withdrew the 
money. We went back to work looking as 
if nothing had happened, which is not 
an easy thing to do when you're c 
$10,350 in cash in your backpack. 
tapped into the Mass First system again. 
We vaporized Gloria Domina and closed 
Evan's account. 
“No fingerprints,” 
il. 
750 how do we get rid of the dog? 
"Piece of cake.” 
"Really? How?” 
"Don't worry." 
“Don't worry? Dont fucking worry? 
What, you don't have а plan?” 
“I have a plan,” I said. “I's in the ges 
tation phase. 
The problem, of course, was the 
Bride. She ran to her peephole whenev- 
one so much as moved in the hall- 
here was no way to get the dog 


Isa 


id. "No paper 


until the middle of the 


Too risky. She might be up 
her hemorrhoids.” 

ent home and sat in the apar 
t and tried t0 come up with som 
thing. Meanwhile, down on Hanover 
Street, a couple of Giaccalone's thugs 


айп 


were standing on the sidewalk in leather 
jackets and driving gloves, scanning the 
street like Secret Service men 


“By now they've been to the bank,” I 
said. “They know the money's gone.” 
Evan let the curtain fall back across 
the window. “I can't believe 1 let you talk 
me into this." Coco pressed her face 
against his cheek and u 
through her muzzle, but he pushed her 
away. “Fuck ой; „ then went to 
his room. 


he sa 


== 

1 sar down; 1 stood up. 1 lay on the 
couch. But for the life of me, I couldn't 
think ofa way to get that dog out of the 
building. But then Gus came poking 
along alter dark, calling to Сосо in the 
alley behind our building, 

“Ош looking for Coco again?" I asked 
as be skipped up onto our landing with a 
flashlight in his hand. 

For ten thousand bucks? You bet. 
And, well, Mrs. Ronsavelli's been having 
some trouble with her kitchen sink, so 
since 1 was going by. . . ." 
he Bride opened her door and 
glared at him. "Mr. Reilly has been hav- 
ing trouble with leaks in bis apartment,” 
she said. “Maybe you should have a look 
over there, too.” 

“Ours seems to have taken care of 
itself,” I said. 

Good, then.” She yanked the poor 
sap into her kitchen, 

1 п to Evan's room. "T minus ten 
minutes and counting,” I said. "Get your 
big raincoat, put it over the dog and wait 
here.” 

1 ran downstairs to the laundry. Maria 
was getting ready to close up for the 
night. 

Maria, this is an ете у 1 said. 
“Do you still have the passkey for the 
apartments? 

“No—it grew legs and ran away.” She 
reached up and took the key from a nail 
on the wall behind her. "What's the mat- 
ter? You lock yourself out again?’ 
Us Mrs. Ronsavelli. We heard а 
crash, and then she was making, | 
this moaning sound, and then there 
t any sound at all." 

“Jesus Christ," she said, then blessed 
herself and ran up the stairs behind me. 

We stood outside the Bride’s door. 
“Hear anything?” 1 whispered. 

“I hear a noise." She leaned closer. 
"There it is aga 


“You go in,” L said. “I'm going to call 
п ambulance. 
Evan and I were down the stairs and 


opening the back door for Сосо whe 
the shouting began. The Bride was 
reaming in I Maria was scream- 
ng back in Spanish—God knows what 
they were saying—and by the time € 
rs with 
only his 1 on and his pants unbut- 
toned, Coco had raced down the alley 
and out of sight 

“How're those pipes, Gus 

“Go fuck yourself,” he said, 
off down the alley. 

For a mor Evan and 1 stood look- 
ing at cach other and not talking; it wa 
one of those fine, dear times when your 
heart scems to open up and everything 
good about life rushes in 

“ОК, then,” Evan said. 
wasted. 

We drank champagne, we ate lobster 
and we put caviar on crackers, which, 
ier I tasted one, 1 threw into the 


1 said. 
then г 


“Lets get 


w 


sink. Evan did his impersonation of 
Tony. We threw the money around like ~ 
confeui. We drank a boule of Madeira 
and а bottle of Armagnac, and I got so 
loaded that at one point I was going to 
light a Macanudo with a $100 bill, but 
Evan stopped me 

А toast,” I said, lifting a glass of port. 
004 guys one, guineas nothing.” 

Then I passed ош. When I woke, it 
was morning and 1 was lying beneath 
blanket of bills, like a kid in a leaf pile. 
The room was strewn with ashtrays and 
boules and empty boxes, 
smell of smoke and food gone bad. My 
mouth tasted like I'd spent the night go- 
ing down on a menstruating monkey. 
Outside, a truck groaned in the alley. 
The sun laid a pale line along the tops of 
the buildings across the street; the light 
was still too thin to warm the air. The 
room seemed dead, like a beach the day 
ter a storm. 

"Evan," | said. 

He turned but didn't answer. He lay 
on the couch with a newspaper over his 
face, which was just as well, I thought, 
because what I wanted to say might Бе 
embarrassing. 1 lay on the floor. unable 
10 sit up. To move was to feel my brain 
slosh across my head and collide with the 
side of my skull. 

"You know, | was thinking I might 
money and open a little restau- 
u know? Like a breakfast place.” 
y а, "fuck of 

I tried to sit up, but the room tilted 
and spun like a carnival ride and I had 
to lie back down. “Also,” I said, “Um go- 
ing to ask Maria out. I'm going to make 
a life for myself’ 

“I'm going to puke,” Evan said, then 
dragged himself off to the bathroom. 

1 listened to him retch, then drifted 
back toward sleep. Outside, a man was 
singing while he unloaded a truck and a 
boy was calling his friends out to play 
Birds sang on the phone wires 

I woke to the sound of a dog barking 
outside. The barking was close. I opened 
my eyes. Evan was standing at the win 
dow, looking down at the street, He 
seemed as if he might get sick арай 

There was pounding on the door 
“Open up,” Mrs. Ronsavelli said. “Зоте- 
body wants to see you.” 

My head felt as if it might split open 
ay it ain't so,” 1 said. 

But Coco kept howling and throwing 
herself at our door, Mrs. Ronsavelli con- 
tinued to knock and 1, flat on my back, 
felt weightless and empty. Evan fell onto 
the couch, face down. From the street 
came the sound of slapping footsteps 
and men swearing in Най: 

1 reached for the phone and managed 
to knock the earpiece out of its cradle. I 
›; there was nothing. I clicked, 
ked again. The line was dead. 


and there was a 


STAR SETS 


(continued from page 118) 
many experts believe the television set 
will become a box-of-all-trades. 

Frox, for example, is a telecomputer 
that performs a number of advanced 
functions, including enhancing TV 
broadcasts by converting analog video 
signals to digital ones. The entry-level, 
31-inch Frox set is priced at $12,000, 
and a projection version is more than 
double that. What you're paying for is 
g power. In addition to offer- 
ing enhanced digital video, Frox comes 
with a special remote control called the 
FroxWand, which operates similarly to a 
computer mouse. There's an on-screen 
user interface that lets you control your 
entire home-entertainment system and 
access special Frox data bases—includ- 
ing a new TV schedule every week as 
well as regularly updated compact disc 
and movie data bases. Want to know 
who's starring in HBO's latest episode of 
Tales from the Crypt, or what songs are on 
Midnight Oil’s new live album? Frox has 
the answers 

A less expensive version of this “elec- 
tronic TV Guide” is Insight, a technology 
that will be available in certain 1993 
Zenith television sets and VCRs. Insight 
is a constantly updated list of TV pro- 
gramming (delivered over the air) that 
appears on screen at the prompt from 
the TV's remote conuol. As with ТИ 
Guide, it also provides brief descriptions 
of programming, so you'll know what 


IN SAUDI ARABIA 
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Late Night. You can even use Insight to 
program your VCR. Highlight a show, 
press RECORD and you're set. All this for a 
monthly service fee of $9.95. 

For those who don't to be 
confined by a monitor, there's holo- 
graphic television. MIT Media Lab re- 
searchers announced in June the ability 
to broadcast a three dimensional high 
definition hologram. Although the im- 
age is three inches tall, the prospect of 
someday beaming Kim Basinger into 
our own living room is hard to resist. 

Researchers are also experimenting 
with virtual reality television. You can in- 
teract with Vanna on Wheel of Fortune от 
explore Cicely, Alaska, with Maggie from 
Northern Exposure. Currently, viewers in 
Japan can walk through а 200 thanks to 
CD-ROM disks, interactive animation 
technology and DVI (a powerful video- 
compression method designed by Intel). 
Put on a pair of special goggles, move a 
joystick around and check out and listen 
to all of the 2005 virtual animals. 

Ulumately, researchers at the MIT 
Media Lab look at HDTV as only the 
first step toward full-blown virtual reali 
ty television. They see a future with wall- 
sized TVs, access to thousands of ch 
nels from nd the world and 
broadcast stations that offer a visual 
gasbord of programming to inter- 
act with and redesign, 


want 


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170 


SINGERS! 


THE UNMAKING 
(continued from page 124) 


garnered nearly 29 percent of the 
Democratic total, which made it look as 
if the voters were trying to say that the 
only good candidate was a former candi- 
date. Then there was Ross Perot: the on- 
n candidate. The day 
ed in Colorado, the Lone Star 
re—who hadn't even declared 
or out of the race—finished 
ahead of both Bush and Clinton in a 
Texas poll. 
Hunter and 1 and his new editorial as- 
sistant, Nicole, had dinner that first 
night at the Snowmass Lodge. The sub- 
ject of politics didn't come up until we 
made our p to the lobby bath 
room. We'd finished our business, I was 
washing my hands, Nicole was laughing 
and Hunter was in front of the big mir 
ror putting on lipstick. I don't know why 
he’s taken to wearing lipstick these days, 
and I don't ask such things. He has al- 


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clubs, rubber rats—as if he were some 
sort of clown from hell, and actually, lip- 
stick sort of rounds out the look. I'm 
never sure how others are going to take 
it, however. So when Bob Maynard, 
president of the Aspen Ski Co. and own- 
er of the lodge, walked through the 
bathroom door looking tan and rich and 
powerful, I braced myself for somethi: 
awkward. I needn't have worried. 

Hi, Bob,” said Hunter. "What's hap- 
pening?” He introduced Nicole and me, 
but Maynard seemed not to notice. 

Hunter,” he said, “I’m just back from 
Georgia. I bring you greetings from Jim- 
my Carter! 

“Hot damn,” said Hunter. “Good old 
Jimmy—that bastard.” He finished with 
the lipstick, then offered it to Maynard, 
who instead preferred to talk about the 
ex-President. 

a great guy,” said Maynard from 
“He said you were the first 
one to tell him that he ought to run for 
President.” 

“Jimmy's too kind,” said Hunter. “He's 
also dumb. The bastard embarrassed 
me. He cost us the control that we had 
bled for in Watergate. The Republicans 


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ied in battle and by God it was our 
те... and Jimmy blew it. The first job 
of any President is to be reelected. If 
he'd been reelected, we wouldn't have 
1 twelve years of Reagan and Bush 
and the triumph of the rich. He made it 
possible for these right-wing yo-yos and 
their gangs to come out of nowhere and 
seize the country. On election day in 
1980, that motherfucker conceded one 
or two hours before the polls dosed on 
the West Coast. So the voters up, 
just didn’t go out, which cost all kinds of 


paces 
су 


Congressmen and local officials their 
jobs. The Democratic Party's been de- 
moralized ever since. 

Just before we said good night. 
Hunter gave me his notes from а phone 
conversation he'd had the night before 
with actor John Cusack. The two of them 
had become friends when 25-year-old 
Cusack directed a stage version of Fear 
and Loathing in Las Vegas at a Chicago 
theater. It was three лм. when he called, 
and the young actor wanted to talk 
bout the campaign with the man he 
thinks of as the ultimate political swami 
“Hunter,” he said, “I need to know 
what's ahead in this campaign, because 
three months ago you told me that Pat 
Buchanan was running point for Bush 
and you were dead on.” 
shrewd,” said Hunte: 
“These guys are good. They all have 
their jobs. Pat Buchanan came in as a 
alking horse for Bush. His job was to 
knock David Duke out of the race, and 
he did it.” 

“So you think Bush is going to win?” 
ed Cusack 

“It looks that way right now," said 
Hunter. “But 1 don't know. Clinton may 
have a chance. He's a tough bugger. He's 
been severely flogged in public and it 
may be that he’s come through the worst 
of it. But things are never what they 
seem in politics. Из a long way from 
April to November. There's hope.” 

“I don't know,” said Cusack. “I think 
maybe the difference between my gener 
ation and your generation is that Reagan 
was elected when we were in high 
school, which means we went from Wa- 
tergate to the sabotage of Carter to Iran- 
contra, and the whole thing has left us 
with a deep-seated cynicism. It just 
seems we're doomed. 

You're always doomed when people 
don't participate, Johnny,” said Hunter 
“People have to get pissed off enough to 
vote. That's what happened at the end of 
the Fifties. I thought John Kennedy was 

ind of a wimp when he started running 
When it dawned on me that here was 
guy who could beat Nixon, it became a 
holy crusade and I signed on. And we 
beat the bastard, but only by a hundred 
thousand votes. Clinton might make it.” 

"Clinton's smart,” said Cusack. “I gues: 
that should give me some hope. He 
seems to have a plan and he might have 
а good heart. Trouble is, he's also a slick 
fucking hustle 

"So was К 


“It was very 


беду,” said Hunter 
. 

We met the next morning at Owl 
Farm. Hunter had stayed up ай night 
and was perched on bis fighting chair at 
the working center of his cabin-style 
house—the kitchen—a room that hasn't 
changed much in 20 years and has al- 
ways felt to me like the bridge of a pirate 
scow. Telephones, tape decks, satellite 
TV, fax and video cams are banked 


around the countertop desk. Curtains 
and shades are drawn against the light. 
Cattle prods and ‘Tasers hang near the 
stove. The refrigerator door is hung 
with а large black-and-white photo of 
one of the massive front-yard explosions 
that have rattled his neighbor's glass- 
ware—and their nerves—over the years. 

This is legal, of course. Colorado 
ranchers are allowed to possess and use 
dynamite, and the rest of Hunter's arse- 
nal—shotguns, rifles, assault rifles, pis- 
tols, even a .22 caliber Gatling gun—is 
protected under his NRA Charter as the 
Woody Creck Rod and Gun Club, a 
loose group of friends and visitors who 
show up for the pure recreational gaiety 
of putting the local hillsides around here 
to withering fire. 

And lately, Hunter has found a way to 
turn his passion for things that go boom 
into something of a cottage industry. 

“Have you seen these?” he asked. “My 
art.” He handed me Polaroids of his 
portfolio, which included poster por- 
traits of Nixon, Reagan, Goldwater, 
Marx and |. Edgar Hoover, each of 
which had bcen glued to a large plywood 
board, blasted with gunfire and bombs, 
carefully painted, then signed and sold. 
"As you know, I've been doing this for 
twenty years. It's about time I got paid 
for it. You'll notice . . . the marksman- 
ship is important,” he told me as I 
Ripped through the photos. 

“The theme here seems to be the de- 
construction of political faces,” 1 said. 
“Shoot ‘ет, mutilate ‘em and paint "еті 
What you do with words, you're also do- 
ing with bullets and pigment.” 

“Tve been experimenting with differ- 
ent kinds of paint,” he said. “I started 
with spray paint, which didn't have 
enough body. But I've sold everything 
Туе ever done. The last one went for 
twenty-five thousand. I am the most 
successful beginning artist in the history 
of man.” 

“Nothing li 

“Jesus, man, 


"Y said 


. "it's art. We 


ought to make some while you're here. 
Shoot somebody, use it as an illustration 
for the story. Maybe a picture of Reagan. 
Yes, marksmanship is the key. All kinds 
of 


blasts around him, but no fatal 
the ultimate professional.” 


professional mar 
nds on the 
“Non 2 
President 


man inflicting fatal 
President." 


finger, 


whirling it in circles 
"You're crazy, Hunte 
as a loon.” 
"At least T get paid for 
“You, on the other hand. are a sniveling, 
half-bright, underpaid the jungle 


thing, This is the end. Thi 
ten years of the century and the end of 


the world as we know 


He chuckled again and made the same 
loopy motion with his finger against his 
head and pointed across the room at 
Nicole, who was strapped to a leather 
couch. Nicole still, somehow, transcribed 
our conversation on a Hogan 4000 
Voicewrit 


worry about Reagan,” said 
H proof. They 
called him the Teflon President, but they 
didn't know the half of it. He's at least 
cighty-eight percent bionic. He will liv 
for a thousand yea 


е 

That afternoon we took Hunter's car 
out for a drive. It's a red 1972 Chevrolet 
Caprice Classic V8 convertible with a 
rebuilt 454-cubic-inch short-block high- 
performance engine that will run about 
130 mph with no noise at all except for 
the tinny rumble of honky-tonk music 
on its original AM radio. There is a lot of 
machinery on the far-flung grounds of 
Owl Farm, but the big red car is the cen- 
terpiece. IL was a gift from his friend J 
Mitchell, who personally tightened the 
coil springs to almost preterhuman ten- 
sion so that the car will go from 0 to 80 т 
9.2 seconds and from 45 to 90 in four 
seconds flat. 

Hunter got his giant dead wolverine— 
a truly fierce piece of taxidermy—and 
stood it on the back seat of the с: 
y that would show tooth and claw to 
those we passed. He then clipped a 
radar detector to his sun visor and we 
fishtailed off toward Aspen. 

On the way, we talked about Bill Cli 
ton again. When 1 asked him about his 
response to the governor's claim that 
he hadn't inhaled the marijuana he'd 
smoked, Hunter went into а 
tive about the night Cadell had am- 
bushed him over the telephone. Some- 
thing in his explanation sounded as if he 
regretted the Times quote. 

“Tm not sorry for what I said," he told 
me. “Clinton was dumb. | understand 
the gantler he's been running and | 
think he's done a tremendous job. 1 
wasn't trying to destroy him. When he 
said he didn't inhale, it was the first ver- 
bal mistake I've heard him make. 1 
thought he hz 
very well. He 
to the war. But on the marijuana th 
he left me no choice. He did disgrace a 
whole generation. And my integrity was 
on the line. 1 was on the national board 
of NORML. We fought to legaliz 
juana. We've all smoked it. When they 
asked him about it, he should have told 
them to crawl back where they came 


from, . . . "What do you mean did I 
inhale? . . . 1 inhale everything . . . it is my 
business to inhale. . . . I'd die if I didn't 


ale.’ Every intelligent person in this 
country who ever smoked marijuana 
would have laughed with him—instead 
of at him. 


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“Actually, I've been pushing Clinton 
"all along, even though I've denounced 
him. He's the first candidate I've seen in 
a while who has a really wicked sense of 
humor. And he could beat Bush, he 
might just win, which is the point of pol- 
ities. Г have to admire the way Clinton 
sort of shot through the slings and ar- 
rows. It may be good that he got that 
stuff out of the way. He’s pretty clean 
now, unlike George Bush. George has 
not yet answered for his role in Iran- 
contra, but Caspar Weinberger will be 
his John Dean. Lawrence Walsh was 
right.” 


P 

Over the days we spent together, 
Hunter often spoke fondly of Patrick 
Buchanan. Their friendship goes back 
more than 20 years and has been for me 
the most vivid proof of the old saw that 
politics makes strange bedfellows. 

"Patrick's a friend," is the way Hunter 
explains it. "He invited me on his cam- 
paign plane. gave me total access. And I 
knew what he was doing. He has 
agenda and I have mine and sometimes 
they coincide . ... like that night he put 
me in the car with Nixon." 

That was 1968, in New Hampshire, on 
the night before Richard Nixon's pivotal 
victory in the primary there. Hunter was 
covering the campaign for Pageant mag- 
zine and had spent two weeks trying to 


gel access to the candidate, 


ће Democrais have done me more 


Не had, however, used his eccent 
charm to begin a friendship with Ray 
Price and Pat Buchanan, a couple of 
young Nixon speechwriters. That night, 
their boss wanted the company of some- 
body from the press corps who could 
talk football on the two-hour drive back 
to Manchester, where a Lear waited for 
him. But just football, Price and Bu- 
chanan warned Hunter. No political talk 
at all—and especially no liberal bulls 
about Vietnam, tear gas and riots, о 
they would throw him out of the car in 
the middle of cold, dark, nowhere New 
Hampshire. Once these ground rules 
were agreed to, Price and Buchanan 
climbed into the front seat of the yellow 
Mercury, and Hunter sat in the back 
with the clever, seedy litle man who 
was later to assume and disgrace the 
Presidency, 

Hunter has always described that ride 
as relaxed and friendly, and he was im- 
pressed by Nixon's football savvy. And 
whatever Buchanan overheard from the 
front seat, it must have convinced him 
that Hunter was trustworthy and likable, 
a sparring partner worthy of the rin, 

“Pawick is a deranged imperialistic 
fascist,” Hunter told me. “His positions 
are monstrous. But I have to admire the 
way he’s dealt with me over the years. 
He could have really hurt me. As it is, 


“That's one medium pizza—sausage, peppers, mushrooms—and, 
oh, could you pick up a pack of ribbed 
condoms on your way over?” 


harm than he has. But I 
a warrior.” 


. 
Preparations for making a piece oftar- 
get art took several days. We began in 
the garage among the antlers and 
mounted animal heads by finding two 
posters that had already been glued to 
sheets of plywood. The first was а smil- 
ing campaign portrait ol George MeGov- 
ern that had been shot, but only once, 
right between the eyes. 
quick, clean, merciful 
looks like,” I said. 
said Hunter. “He's a good 


for 


shot 


one. 

Next to McGovern stood a poster pho- 
to of Bobby Kennedy in a leather jacket 
оп a beach somewhere. It always makes 
me angry and sad and cynical to look at 
pictures of Bobby and his brother. It re- 
minds me of a time when it seemed that 
a strong, compassionate Democratic 
Party was on a roll that was going to last 
for decades. If not lor a few bullets. 
Hunter and 1 didn't say anything about 
it that afternoon in his garage, but we've 
talked about those heady days many 
times before. So it didn't surprise me 
that, although the poster of Bobby had 
been mounted and was ready for shoot- 
ing, Hunter hadn't shot it. 

On first search, nothing in the Owl 
Farm poster archives turned up a face 
that seemed quite right, so I headed into 
Aspen to see if 1 could find a Clinton 
campaign office that might have а like- 
ness of the Arkansas governor that 
would provide canvas for а 12-gauge 
brush. But there was no Clinton cam- 
paign headquarters in town, and none 
for Bush, though we had already 
him and Dan Quayle out of the es 
on the theory that shooting a picture of 
the sitting President would probably at- 
tract art critics who carry Secret Service 
badges. 

Ironically, only 


noncandidate Ross 
Perot had a campaign office in Aspen. It 
was staffed by four smiling people who 
greeted me warmly and offered me cof- 
fee. They told me they were s but 
there were no Perot posters yet. I didn't 
sign their petition, but | gave them a 
buck for a button and wore it back to 
Woody Creek 

“I don't know,” said Hunter when he 
“He's the wild card. What do y 
k of him?” 

“He has a certain Harry Truman give- 
em-hell kind of charm," I told him 
"And he's something of an outsider” 

“Balls,” said Hunter. "He's no out- 
sider. He's one of Reagan's cronies and 
Nixon's. In fact, it may be that Nixon's 
behind this whole thing. He can't be 
President himself, so he sent Perot to 
haunt us. Any friend of Nixon's is an en- 
ету of mine." He smiled. “No, old Ross 
is a credentialed insider . ... part of the 


corporate branch of the government, 


especially young voters, were staying 


the successful free-enterprisers who 

have been running this country, like 

Charles Keating and Michael Milken. 

“He just beat Bush and Clinton in a 
AL S 


issues. He's pro-choice and he was 
against the slaughter in Iraq." 

“He scares me,” I said. "Hi: 
about "that danged Constitutio 

"He's probably а Nazi," said Hunter. 
“Lf he's elected we could all wake up to 
find that the front doors have been tak- 
en off our houses. He seems to think that 
the Fourth Amendment is a loophole for 
dope fiends and sodomites. Then again, 
you have to ask yourself, How much 
worse could he be than Ronald Reagan 
and George Bush? When they got in, it 
was like: Zf you thought the Republicanism of 
Richard Nixon was the dark underbelly of the 
American dream, wait until you see this. 
What they've done makes Watergate 
look like а tap dance. Bush is such a 
truthless pigfucker, such а guilty bastard. 
He was guilty in Iran-contra, guilty in 
the looting of the Treasury. And the 
price has been high. There are no jobs. 
No houses. We've become slaves in the 
world’s service market. And the only rea- 
son these rotten bastards got away with 
any of it is that they had no opposition 
The Democrats just rolled over while 
this greedy bunch of lying swine 
wrecked the country.” 

Whenever Hunter got going on the 
Democrats, there was as much vitriol in 
his voice as when he talked about the Re- 
publicans. “There are two things on my 
agenda in this election,” he told me as we 
gathered the shotguns, pistols, high- 
powered rifles and ammunition we were 
going to use to make art. “I want to de- 
feat George Bush and I want to destroy 
the Democratic Party as we know it. The 
party pros—the city, state and regional 
coordinators, the horrible slugs who ran 
Mondale and Dukakis—have spent the 
past twelve years trading the White 
House for the statehouse and Congress. 
They think that's a fair and equal trade. 
It's not. They've forgotten about the 
Supreme Court, for one thing. But they 
still have their wretched little jobs and 
that’s all they care about. They're power- 
ful people, utterly corrupt, and they 
don't want to give up their perks, their 
footholds in the network of power. They 
know if they had a real candidate, they'd 
all be out of work. If Gary Hart had been 
nominated 1984, there would have 
been a housecleaning from top to bot- 
tom in the party. Instead, what we have 
is a network of virtually unbeatable 
cumbents who run the Democratic Pai 
as if it were some kind of permanent 
minority. They've destroyed the party 
from the inside. They sold it out.” 

When we talked about the way voters, 


vay from the polls in record numbers, 
Hunter said it didn't surprise him. 

“We've lost a whole generation of ac- 
tivists,” he said, "because they've nev 
known the fun of winning, Johnny 
sack's generation, the 20-to-40-year-olds, 
have never had any sense that they could 
have an effect the way we did. You have 
to win sometimes or it begins to seem 
like somebody else's game. Politics is the 
art of controlling your environment, 
which is why I've been involved, why I'm 
still involved. Ivs my personal freedom 
that’s on the line. It’s too important and 
it's too much fun. lt was fun to run 
Richard Nixon out of the White House. 
Do you remember the joy 1 took stand- 
ing at the end of that red carpet, being 
the last person to see that bastard get on 
the helicopter?” 

1 do remember, I told him, and it was 
fun, probably more political fun than 
we'll ever have again. But things are 
never what they scem in politics. We 
thought we were watching the end of the 
war that Watergate summer, Ronald 
Reagan, William Casey and Oliver 
North knew better. And the death of all 
our fun followed shortly. 

But the spirit they killed seemed to be 
stirring that week after Easter. “Among 
the Perot forces,” 1 suggested to him. 
“They're out on the street corners with 
their petitions. They're renting store- 
fronts all over the Country, theyre 
charged up with that fuck-you sort of en- 
ergy that just might make a successful 
end run around the party system, the 
conventions, the media. They're the 
ones having fun right now, 

” he said. "They re whooping 
it up. They're party people. Perot head- 
quarters will be a fun place to be on elec- 
tion night. But I wouldn't want to be 
there on April Fool's Day. He is like a fer- 
ret in heat. He is a monster. It's one 
thing to bypass the two-party system, 
and another to bypass the Constitution. 
1 don't think he knows the difference.” 

. 


By the time Deborah, Hunters long- 
ume secretary, leaned a mounted poster 
of Ronald Reagan against an aluminum 
beer keg, late afternoon shadows were 
creeping over the beautiful greensward 
that ts the front yard and shooting 
at Owl Farm. The poster wasan en 
bla nd-white photo of the mov 
and he was standing tough about 15 
yards downrange from the picnic table 
that was carefully arranged 
guns, pistols, a .223-caliber as: 
а .22 rifle, shells and bullets for all of 
them, a bottle of Scotch and a single red 
geranium in a terra-cotta pot. 

It had taken all afternoon to prepare 
the shoot. Two video cameras were set 
up and music was chosen (the Cow- 
boy Junkies). Hunter parked a Jeep 
Wagoneer, a John Deere tractor and his 


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big red car on the lawn so that their 


would vote this year, The smart peo- 


—headlights-illuminated-the target. Then pte will hunker down like dazed 


he disappeared to choose his costume. 

“There is no art until it’s sold,” he said 
as he made his entrance. Then he blew 
a duck call that hung around his neck, 
and the peacocks, huddled in the trees, 
screeched as if they'd been called into 
s wearing khakis 
and a plaid shirt, lipstick and eyeliner, a 
tightly curled blond wig and an earflap 
hat made of unborn wolf. Darkness had 
fallen and there was no moon yet. Then 
again, it always feels as if there's a full 
moon when you're with Hunter 

“Who you gonna vote for, Doc?” I 
asked him as he loaded the 12-gauge 
and sat on the grass a few yards from 
the smiling cowboy. 

“I knew you'd get to that on 
said. “I've wrestled deeply 
thing. There is a lust for revenge on Rea- 
gan and Bush that courses through my 
blood. But I'm not sure just what politi- 
cal move will accomplish that right now. 
The Democrats look strong for 1996 
with Quayle the likely Republican candi- 
date by then, and it may be that none of 
them really wants to be elected this year. 
Not with the terrible economic shit-rain 
that’s coming. The smart thing might be 
to just stand back and let the fuckers 
have it, let the roof collapse on them. 
Then Clinton or Cuomo or whatever 
Democrat can go into 1996 without the 
hideous baggage that's going to attach to 
whoever is elected this year.” 

Hunter rolled onto his back, raised his 
legs like a capsized turtle, then put the 
gunstock to shoulder and paused a few 
seconds. The plywood jumped when the 
shotgun blast hit it. Paint spattered. 

A minute later, as we used a big flash- 
light to examine the holes in the image 
of the old cowboy, I азКе him agai 

“Who you gonna vote for, Hunte 

“I'm going to have to ponder that,” he 
said. 


. 
I received his answer two months lat- 
in the middle of June. It came asa fax 
addressed to me. By the tone of the mes- 
sage, he had not only pondered the 
question, he had prayed over it, consult- 
ed his Bible and then composed his re- 
sponse as a kind of epistle. He headed it 
with one of his favorite quotes: 


“Just how weird can you stand 
it, brother, before your love will 
crack?” 

This is a hard one to call, Bub- 
ba—especially from two thousand 
miles away and ei 
high and nineteen weeks before the 
election. . . . But what the hell, we 
are, after all, professionals, 
do our finest work, our highest and 
keenest thinking, under conditions 
of extreme pressure. 

Ho, ho. So try this: Only a fool 


rabbits—quivering and staring and 
shitting on one another while they 
hop back and forth in their cages. 
The smart will ignore politics this 
year. They will pretend to be dumb, 
like the bunny rabbit, and they will 
really be acting smart. 

There too many whores in 


politics these days, but the night of 


the whorehopper is coming. Мапу 
will be called, and nine out of ten 
will be chosen—to be herded down 
the long, slippery ramp and into the 
bottomless sheep-dip. where they 
will wallow and struggle helplessly, 
some of them drowning, until their 
bodies are disinfected by pow 
acids, vapors and the fumes of te! 
ble lice medicines that will fry thei 
brains like bacon lefi too long in 
the microwave. Ronald Reagan was 
right, back in 1983, when he told a 
reporter that this generation may be 
the one that will have to face the end 
of the world. 

Well, maybe so, Bubba, maybe so. 
But ГИ believe it when I sec i 
Those bastards have been promis- 
ng the apocalypse for as far back as 
1 can remember, but they alwa 
we kly, Гуе 
just about given up hope. Fuck 
them. They lic. It's worse than a 
roofing-and-siding racket. 

No. We will not be that lucky. The 
end will not come quickly. First will 
come the shit-rain, then the sheep- 
dip and after that, the terrible night 
of the whorehopper, which might 
last a thousand yea 

“And when the thousand years 
are expired, Satan shall be loosed 
out of his prison.” 

Thats Revelations 20:7, which is 
only the tip of the iceberg. The bad 
news comes in the last two verses of 
Chapter 20—14 and 15—where it 
says: "And death and hell were cast 
into the Lake of Fire. This is the sec- 
ond death. And whosoever was not 
found written in the Book of Life 
was cast into the Lake of Fire.” 

Yeah. How's that for a sneak pre- 
view of уг golden years, Bubba? 
Cast into the Lake of Fire, with 5 
tan trying to drag you under 

Horrible. It is a grim prospect for 
Jesus freaks, because they know the 
Bible says that Satan is a cross be- 
tween a crocodile & a huge hyena. 
He has seven heads, six hundred 
teeth & he weighs a thousand 
pounds—a nasty thing to feel get- 
ting hold of yr. leg when you're try- 
ing to stay afloat in a Lake of Fire. 

That is what a vote for Ross Perot 
will get you. And a vote for George 
Bush will get you cast into the рт 
winepress of the wrath of God 


which is more or less where we are _ 
now, if you believe the newspapers. 

So that leaves Clinton, | guess. 
Yeah, good old Bill. At least he has a 
sense of humor, and he doesn't 
mind ducking behind a hedge now 
and then for a bit of suckee-suckee 
in the course of his afternoon jog 

The Bible say he tortoise shall 
overtake the kill him and eat 
him.” 

So who are we to argue, Bubba? 
This ain't no normal election year. А 
man would have to be crazy not to 
hit the streets with his vote in his 
hand on November 3, if only to cast 
it where it do the most dam- 
age—preferably to George Bush. 
Why not? It may be the |. 
have fora while. Death to the weird. 

OK, 
Doc 


A few weeks later, another 
dropped at my door. 


Well, shucks . . . What can I say? 

Perot just quit the goddamn race! 
That swine! That cheap little treach- 
erous bastard. 

Never mind that clection-night 
party we were talking about . . . по. 
We will have no fun on election 

ight this year; or at least not the 
kind we were looking for. 

Shit. I was cranking up for some 
kind of king-hell atavistic endeavor 
like we knew in the good old days, 
when we howled and jabbered and 
bounced around the room all night 
long like human golf balls every 
time the numbers came in from 
weird places like Pensacola and 
Butte and Sacramento, and the bal- 
ance would swing back and forth. 

That might happen this time— 
but it won't come near the kind of 
craziness that was guaranteed to 
happen with a three-way race. 

Forget the House of Representa- 
tives. That was pie in the sky. They 
were only fucking with us, Bubba. 
and now they are going to fuck with 
citizen Ross Perot, you bet. Remem- 
ber Lyndon La Rouche? He took 
the b: nd was never seen 
again. They arrested his follow 
and put him away for 15 y 
fraud, stupidity and hubris. 

Sorry. We almost had our hands 
on it—but they double-crossed us 
once again. Both Buchanan and 
Perot were working for George 
Bush, who will probably win by five 
or six points and then have us all 
locked up. Good luck, Bubba. It's 
every man for himself now. Wel- 
come to the passing lane, Res [psa 
Loquitor. 


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Jacket by Harley-Davidson, at Harley- 
Davidson dealerships ationwide. 
Shirt by Bugle Boy for Men, at all 
A&S/Jordan Marsh stores. Tshirt 
by Guess, at Bloomingdale's, Dayton- 


Hudson and Macy's nationwide. 
Trousers by Duch Head, at Belk stores; 
Macy's nationwide. Shoes by Johnston & 
Murphy, ar Dayton-Hudson and Dil- 
lard's nationwide. Socks by Е.С. Smith, 
at Bloomingdale's, 1000 ‘Third 
N.Y, 212-705-3030; Macy's 
wide. Page 95: Sneakers by Nike, for in- 
formation, 800-344-NIKE. 
and jeans by Cross Colours, at Cignal, 
DJ's, Macy's and Merry Go Round na- 
tionwide. Cap by Gotcha, at Laguna 
Surf & Sport, 1088 $. Coast Highway, 
Laguna Beach, CA, 714-497-7000. 
Sneakers by Nike, for information, 800- 
344-nike, Page 96: Hooded sweat shirt 
and pullover by Champion, at select 
Footlocker stores; Macy's select stores 
Jacket by Russell Athletic, at fine depart- 
ment stores and sporting-goods stores. 
Pants by Disorder, at Bloomingdale's se- 
lect stores; Cignal nationwide. Sneak- 
ers by Reebok, at local athletic stores. 
Cap by Schuman & Sullivan, at Bloom- 
ingdale's, Saks Fifth Avenue and Day- 
ton-Hudson nationwide. Suit by Bert 
Pulitzer from the 500 Group, at Horne's, 
Piusburgh and Erie, PA. Shirt by Geof- 
frey Beene, at Kaufmann's, 400 Fifth 
Ave., Pittsburgh, PA, 412-2 
Tie by Boston Traders, at McCurdys na- 
tionwide. Page 97: Blazer by Tommy 
Hilfiger, at fine department stores. 
Shirt by Ruff Hewn, at Dillard's nation- 
wide. T-shirt by Tom Tailor, at Macy's, 
151 W. 34th St., N.Y.C., 800-44-Nacvs. 
Jeans by B.D. Baggies, at retail stores na- 
tionwide. Shoes by Johnston & Murphy, 
at Johnston & Murphy nationwide. 
Socks by Gold Toe, at Bloomingdale's 
and Macy's nationwide, Watch by 
Timex, to order, 800-FOR-TIMEX. 


PLAYBOY ON THE SCENE 

Page 177: DCC decks: By Maraniz, for 
information, 800-654-6633. By Philips, 
for store locations, 800-221-5649. 
Tapes: By PolyGram, at record stores 
nationwide. By Memorex, for store loca- 
tions, 800-223-9829. By TDK, for in- 
formation, 800-TDK-TAPE. 


For free information on advertised 
fashions only, call Playboy's Fashion 


tj 


Line at 1-800-354-4502. | 


175 


Y 


PLAYB 


176 


BODY ТНІЄЕ- „а from page 98) | 


“How hot she is, how tiny her shoulders, how gor; geous 
in this final withering, the flower tinged with yellow.” 


iridescent eyes, this skin like polished 
ivory, hair like an explosion of light? Or 
am | merely an obstacle between him 
and his go; 

He bolts. He is down the stairs as the 
old woman screams. And I am after him, 
not bothering to touch the ground, let- 
ting him see me poised for an instant un- 
der the streetlight as he turns the corner. 
We go for half a block before I drift to- 
ward him, a blur to unnoticing mortals. 
Then I freeze beside him and hear him 
groan as he runs. 

For blocks we play the game. He runs, 
he stops, he sees me behind him. Sweat 
pours down his body; it soaks his dirty 
undergarments; the synthetic fabric of 
his sleeveless shirt is soon translucent 
with it, clinging to the hairless flesh of 
his chest. 

At last he comes to his seedy flophouse 
and pounds up the stairs. Гат in the 
top-floor room when he reaches it 

Before he can cry out, I have hi 
my arms. The stench of his dirty hair ris- 
esin my nostrils, mingled with the chem- 
ical fibers of the shirt. But now it doesn't 
matter. He is powerful and warm in 
my arms, a juicy capon, chest heaving 
against me, the smell of his blood flood- 
ing my brain. | hear it pulsing through 
ventricles and valves and painfully con- 
stricted vessels. I lick at it in the tender 
red flesh under his eyes 

The fountain opens—ah, his life was a 
sewer. All those old women, old men. 
‘They were like dried cadavers Hoating in 
the current; they tumbled against one 
another without meaning as he went 
limp in my arms. No cunning. No mal- 
ice. Crude as а lizard he had been, swal- 
lowing fly after fly. Lord God, to know 
this is to know the time when giant rep- 
tiles ruled the earth, when, for many 
millions of years, only they beheld the 
falling rain or heard the thunder beyond 
the mountains. 

1 let him go, tumbling soundlessly out 
of my grip. Good enough. I close my 
eyes, letting the hot coil of his blood pen- 
etrate my hard, powerful, white body. In 
а daze, I see him scrabbling on his knees 
across the floor. So clumsy, shirt soaked 
transparent across the broad span of his 
sloping back. So easy to pick him up 
fr the twisted and tearing newspa- 
pers, the overturned cup pouring cold 
coffee onto the dust-colored rug. 

І jerk him back by his collar. His big 
empty eyes roll up into his head. ‘Then 
he kicks at me, blindly, this bully, this 
killer of the old and weak. His shoe 


scuffs my shin. I lift him to my hungry 
mouth again, my fingers sliding through 
his hair, and feel him stiffen, as if my 
fangs were dipped in poison. 

Again the blood floods my brain. It 
electrifies the tiny veins of my face. It 
pulses through my fingers, and a hot 
prickling warmth slides down my spine. 
Draught after draught fills me. Succu- 
lent, heavy creature. I let him go once 
more, and when he stumbles away, I go 
after him, drag him across the floor, turn 
his face to me, toss him forward to strug- 
gle again. 

He is speaking to me now in some- 
thing that ought to be language but is 
not. He pushes at me, but he can no 
longer see clearly. For the first time a 
tragic dignity infuses him, a look of out- 
rage. In his mind, I am enfolded in old 
tales, in memories of plaster statues and 
nameless saints. His fingers claw at the 
instep of my boot. I lift him, and when I 
tear hroat this time, the wound is 
big. It is done. 

The death comes like a fist in my gut. 
For a moment T feel nausea, and then 
simply the heat, the fullness, the sheer 
radiance of the living blood with the last 
vibration of his consciousness pulsing 
through my limbs. 

I sink down onto his soiled bed and lie 
there for a time. I stare at his low ceiling. 
And when the sour smells of the room 
and the stench of the body surround me, 
I rise and stumble out, as ungainly as he 
was, letting myself go soft in mortal ges- 
tures. At this moment I don't want to be 
the weightless one, the winged one, the 
night traveler. I want to be human and 
to feel human, and though his blood is 
threaded through me, it isn't enough, 
not nearly enough 


What has become of my promises? 
The stiff, bruised palmettos rattle against 
the stucco walls. 

“Oh, you're back,” she says to me. 

Such a low, strong voice she has, no 
tremor in it. She stands in front of the 
ugly plaid rocker with its worn maple 
arms, peering at me through her silver- 
rimmed glasses, the paperback novel 
clasped in her hand. Her mouth is small 
and shapeless, showing yellow teeth, a 
contrast to the dark perso: 
voice, which knows no infi 

What in God's name is she thinking as 
she smiles at me? Why doesn't she pray? 

“I knew you'd come,” she says. When 
she takes off her glasses, I see that her 
eyes are glazed. What is she seeing? 


What am_ с Вег see? I-who-can 
control all these elements flawlessly am 
so baffled that I could weep. “Yes. 1 
knew.” 

“Oh? And how did you know?” I whis- 
per as I approach her in the embracing 
closeness of her little room. 

“Yes,” she says airily but defini 
always knew.” 

“Kiss me, then. Love me.” 

How hot she is, how tiny her shoul- 
ders, how gorgeous in this final wither- 
ing, the flower tinged with yellow, yet 
full of fragrance still. Pale blue veins 
dance beneath her flaccid skin in eyelids 
perfectly molded to her eyes when she 
closes them, in skin flowing over the 
bones of her skull. 

“Take me to heaven,” she says. Out of 
the heart comes her voice. 

“I can't. I wish I could," 
her ear. 

I close my arms around her. I nuzzle 
her soft nest of hair. I feel her fingers on 
my face like dry leaves, and they send a 
soft chill through me. She, too, is shiver- 
ing. Ah, tender and worn little thing, 
creature reduced to thought and will, 
body as insubstantial as a fragile flame. 
Just a little drink, no more. 

But it is too late. 1 know it when I taste 
the first spurt of blood. I am draining 
her: Surely the sound of my moans must 
alarm her, but then she is past hearing. 
They never hear the real sound once 
it begins. 

Forgive те 

Oh, darling! 

We sink down together onto the car- 
pet, lovers in a patch of nubby faded 
flowers. I see the book fallen there, and 
the drawing on the cover, but this seems 
unreal. I hug her so carefully, lest she 
break. But I am the hollow shell. Her 
death comes swiftly, as if she herself were 
walking toward me in a broad corridor, 
in some extremely particular and very 
important place. Ah, yes, the yellow mar- 
ble. Even up here you can hear the 
traffic, and that low boom when a door 
slams on a stairway, down the hall. 


ll 


I purr into 


"Good might, my darling? she 
whispers. 
Am I hearing things? How can she still 
make wor 
I love you. 


“Yes, darling. I love you, too.” 

What the hell are you doing? 

She is dead. І lie on the floor and stare 
blankly at the ceiling, smelling cordite in 
a corridor. 

Her clock is ticking on the table. From 
the overheated heart of the television 
comes the pinched and tiny voice of 
Cary Grant telling Joan Fontaine that he 
loves her. And Joan Fontaine is so happy. 
She thought that Cary Grant meant to 
kill her. 

And so did I. 


LAY BOY 


TUNE IN TO DCC 


hen the compact disc hit the hi-fi market a d compa: to the CD, with the added benefit of digital re 


rding. 
ago, many audiophiles hailed the 


5 Also, DCC decks from companies such as Philips, Marantz and 
tion. Now the company that brought us the Technics are compatible with analog technology, which means 
El hoping to en- they'll play your old ca as well as new DCC tapes. And 

digital-tape format called DCC. because DC Чез are more durable (and more portable) 

5 sound quality than analog ones, personal and саг stereos are coming, too. 


Above, top to bottom: The Marantz 00-92 DCC deck features 18-bit analog-to-digital converters, a fully shielded copper chassis, Dolby В and 
С noise reduction and easy-to-read text display for information contained on prerecorded DCC tapes, about $1200. Philips DCC 900 deck 
offers a motorized front tray loader, Dolby B and C noise reduction for analog tapes, auto reverse and a dot-matrix text information display, 
about $800. Prerecorded tapes from PolyGram are about $15, and blanks from TDK and Memorex are $7 to $10, depending on capacity. 


Where & How to Buy on page 175. 


Nothing Alien Here 

Actress SIGOURNEY WEAVER is no longer fighting 
aliens. Now she's Queen Isabella, co-starring with 
Gérard Depardieu and Armand Assante in 1492.For 
royal peek at the real Sigourney, check out the outfit 


tured in movies, commercials and on 
performing with the Mighfy/Cars 
Players on The Tonight Sh 


As 

Christina’s 
World 

Turns 

Attention trekkers: 
Remember seeing 
CHRISTINA PERALTA in 
Star Trek: The Next 
Generation? Or did 
you catch her on cable 
in Princess Warrior? 
Here, Christina's 
checking us out. 


Rappers Delight 

Not all rap is message driven, you know. Some of it is funny. 
Want more? Get the BEASTIE BOYS’ latest LP, Check Your 
Head, then look in concert listings for a fall U.S. tour. You'll 
be laughing with them. 


Do You Believe 
in Magic? 

М you missed out on the re- 
turn of JOHN PRINE in con- 
cert with Cowboy Junkies’ 
MARGO TIMMONS, get his 
LP The Missing Years. Mar- 
go’s back in the studio with 

her bandmates, and John is 
ready for Prine time again. 


Wet, Wild А 
and Wonderful 


ADRIANNE SACHS was Ё 
the leading lady їп 
Queensryche’s video. She $ 
visited Fantasy Island, tan- > 
gled with RoboCop апа % 


stopped over in the soap 
Another World. She can 


shoot a pistol, ride a mo- 
torcycle and break a f 


the Bar at Bruce’s strong man's heart. We 


Bellying Up to 


know what we like and we 


Every so often, actor BRUCE WILLIS heads for ike Adrianne: 


the bar to make a drink or two. Now he does 
it occasionally at Planet Hollywood, the New 
York watering hole he co-owns. See him with 
Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn in Death Be- 
comes Her, then head over for a drink with 
the real Sam Malone. 


180 


POTPOTURRT— = 


HOLD THE 

BUTT STEAK BACK TO THE OLD BALLPARK 
You'd think the conservatism Want to relive Roger Maris’ 61st home 
sweeping the country would run back in 1961 or Al Gionfriddo’s fa- 
be bad for adult nightclubs, mous catch of Joe DiMaggio's drive in the 
but business is booming at 1947 Yankees-Dodgers World Series? 
Stringfellow Presents Pure Contact Rare Sportsfilms, 1126 Tennyson 
Platinum. According to own- Lane, Naperville, Illinois 60540 (or call 
er Peter Stringfellow, “It’s 708-527-8890). Rare Sportsfilms specia 
New York's only spot where izes in high-quality VHS tapes of base- 
you can enjoy great food and ball's yesteryear circa 1938-1969. One 
see stunning showgirk and dollar will get you a complete list of the 
өшіп сенен тесу videos available—which sell for $29.95 


Sean н г 
relaxed, sophisticated atmo- each, postpaid. Play ball! 
sphere akin to a superb 

Parisian revue.” Dinner is 


served from four px. to three 
Ам. Monday through Friday 
and eight ex. to three A. оп 
Saturday. Filet mignon, lob- 
ster, champagne and caviar 
and pasta dishes are the most 
popular items, along with 
cheesecake—and we're not 
just talking about dessert. En- 
tree prices range from 51810 
$29 and wines begin at $25 
for a bottle of white zinfandel 
to $125 for Chateau Mar- 
gaux. Stringfellows is at 35 
Fast 21st Street. For reser 
tions call 212-254-2444 


BAD ATTITUDE 


If writing an alimony check makes you 
feel as if you're getting screwed, then give 
it an Attitude Stamp. Created by Ameri- 
can Expressions for your personal 
checks, Attitude Stamps are а set of four 
rubber stamps that send moneygrubbers 
а message 

here, there's a stamp of a character up- 
chucking, one featuring two naked peo- 
ple in a barrel and another of a robber 
holding up a victim. The price for the set, 
including an ink pad, is $11.50 sent to 
American Expressions, РО. Вох 514, Re- 
dondo Beach, California 90277. 


In addition to the onc shown 


HALLOWEEN NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD 


Once again, the talented ghouls at Death Studios in La Porte, Indian 
have come up with a whole new witches’ caldron of full-head masks that 
are guaranteed winners at any Halloween bash. The cigar-chomping 
creature at top left is Danny the Bastard ($69), a character from Suburban 
Warfare, an unpublished underground comic. Next to him is Razorback 
($74), the ever-popular warthog from hell. His slimy sidekick is named 
simply Frog ($99). Kiss him, girls, and see if he turns into a prince. And 
the fearsome fellow on the far end is none other than every child's night- 
mare come to life—the Bogeyman ($69). Overlooking this motley crew is 
a 22-inch-tall Grim Reaper wall mount that’s not a mask ($69). All prices 
are postpaid. To order, call Death Studios at 219-362-42 


THE CULINARY RITZ 


The Ritz-Carlton Laguna 
Niguel, in Dana Point, Califor- 
nia, will be the site of the sev- 
enth annual World of 

to be held. 

2. и 

you'd like to sit in on 
seminars covering ev- 
erything from vinegars to 
white олийев or enjoy the 
wares of 100 American winer- 
ies, make your reservations 
now. All events are individually 
priced, from $35 for seminars 
to $100 for the tasting. For 
more information, call 714- 
240-2000, extension 5263. 


SKELETONS IN YOUR CLOSET 


Skeletons is a company that's dedicated to the art and science of 
hiding things. Jewelry, money, baseball cards, collections of 
PLAYBOY —you name it and Skeletons probably has a way to stash it 
cleverly in can safes, cache tubes, hidey-hole coatracks or even fur- 
niture containing secret compartments. Three dollars sent to 
Skeletons, PO. Вох 15878. Sarasota, Florida 34977, will get you 
the latest catalog of secret goodies. Don't tell а soul 


THE COCKTAIL HOUR 


Nick and Nora Charles would 
have loved The Ari of the Сосі- 
lail. In its pages are recipes for 
100 cocktails, from slings to 
smashes, beautifully pho- 
tographed in cocktail є 

Yes, the manhattan is repre- 
sented, along w 

quals including the martini, 
the grasshopper and the zom- 
bie. Philip Collins is the author 
Chronicle Books in San Fran- 


cisco has published two edi- 


hardcover version for 
) and a soft 
cover version for the bar 
($12.95). Cheers. 


UP IN SMOKE 


Marvin В. Shanken has just launched Cigar 
Aficionado, а slick oversized quarterly magazine 
that promises to do for tobacco what his other 
publication, The Wine Spectator, did for the 
grape. While articles in the first issue range 
from “The Magic of Cuban Cigars” to a tasting 
of coronas, Shanken emphasizes that “col- 
lectibles, unique trips and emerging hobbies” 
can be found in its 100-plus pages. The price: 
$12.95 per year sent to Cigar Aficionado, 387 
Park Avenue South, New York 10016, or call 
800-622-2062. Light up! 


= „М. 


BIRTHDAY OF THE DUKE 


Back in 1953 and 1954, Duke Ellington found 
self in Portland, Oregon, playing at McEl- 
roy's Ballroom on his birthday. Fortunatel 
recording engineer and Ellington fan was on 
hand to preserve the concerts, and now both 
are available as a boxed f D set for $40. 
(Five cassettes cost $20.) Delta Music is behind 
the release, and you can find the CDs or cas- 
settes in better music stores nationwide. Take 
the A train and check them out. 


„а 


181 


182 


ЕХТ МОМТН 


= 


SIZZLING CELLULOID 


“BOBBY SQUARED”—A MIDDLE-AGED SUBURBAN SCHOOL- 
TEACHER HOOKS UP WITH A STRIPPER TURNED DRUG 
DEALER AND GETS MUCH MORE THAN SHE BARGAINED 
FOR WHEN SHE JOINS HIM FOR A FACE-OFF IN A FLORIDA 
SWAMP—FICTION BY PAT JORDAN 


PATRICK STEWART REVEALS THE MYSTERY AT THE HEART 
OF STAR TREK, TELLS WHY HE REGRETS NEVER HAVING 
PLAYED HAMLET AND—FOR THE LAST TIME—DISCUSSES 
HIS HAIR IN AN ENTERPRISING “20 QUESTIONS" 


“GOOD INTENTIONS"—FORGING A CAMPAIGN ALLIANCE 
WITH THE PRINCE OF DARKNESS COULD BE THE TICKET 
FOR AN AMBITIOUS CANDIDATE HELL-BENT ON WINNING 
THE WHITE HOUSE—FICTION BY JOHN VARLEY 


“THE DO-IT-YOURSELF INSTANT COUNTRY-LYRIC KIT"— 
FOLLOW OUR FORMULA AND GET YOUR ACHY BREAKY 
HEART TO BEAT IN 4/4 TIME—HUMOR BY LARRY TRITTEN 


JOAN SEVERANCE RETURNS TO PLAYBOY'S PAGES IN A 
SIZZLING PICTORIAL TRIBUTE TO HER LATEST VENTURE. 
SHOWTIME'S RED SHOE DIARIES. ITS DIRECTOR, ZALMAN 
(WILD ORCHID) KING, TELLS ALL 


JOAN'S BACK 


“WHAT IF THE JAPANESE BAIL ОИТ?" МЕ GRIPED 
WHEN THEY BOUGHT UP OUR BEST REAL ESTATE AND 
HALF OF HOLLYWOOD. WHAT HAPPENS IF THEY SAY SAYO- 
NARA?—BY ALLAN SLOAN 


“OCTOBER SURPRISE”—IT HAPPENS EVERY FOUR YEARS: 
А FLURRY OF CHARGES AND RUMORS IN THE CLOSING 
WEEKS OF THE PRESIDENTIAL RACE. IN A SPECIAL SECTION 
JOE QUEENAN DESCRIBES HOW IT WORKS, KEN BODE 
ASKS THE SPIN DOCTORS HOW THEY REPAIR THE DAMAGE 
AND TERRY CATCHPOLE PUTS IT ALL IN PERSPECTIVE IN “A 
SHORT HISTORY OF DIRTY TRICKS" 


“THE GANGS OF SOUTH CENTRAL L.A."—RIVETING 
TALES FROM THE HOOD IN AN EYEWITNESS DISPATCH 
FROM LOS ANGELES’ WAR ZONE—BY LEON BING 


WILLIAM SAFIRE, PULITZER PRIZE-WINNING JOURNALIST 
AND VETERAN WASHINGTON INSIDER, HANDICAPS THE 
CANDIDATES AND TALKS FREELY ABOUT RICHARD NIXON. 
IRAQGATE AND HOW PLAYBOY GAVE HIM HIS FIRST BREAK 
IN A COMPELLING PLAYBOY INTERVIEW 


PLUS: “SEX IN CINEMA 1992,” AN ANNUAL LOOK AT THE 
CELLULOID SIZZLERS; "PLAYBOY S ELECTRONIC ROUNDUP” 
BY IVAN BERGER; AND MUCH, MUCH MORE 


p = 
ly “7 AUTHENTIC. GERMAN. 


N " 
RUMPLE MINZE. 50% ALCOHOL BY VOLUME (100PROOF) PEPPERMINT, IMPORTED FROM GERMANY. 
FOR AN 16°22" POSTER OF THIS AD) 'SENDSATORUMPLE MINZE. 250. NJ 07061 


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