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MASTERS AND 
JOHNSON 

ON FLIRTING AND 
PHILANDERING 


INTERVIEW: 
ANTHONY 


HOPKINS а 


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PLAYBILL 


ALTHOUGH AIDS has frightened and divided us like no other 
disease in modern history, our desire for intimacy—for deep, 
satisfying sex—has never waned. That steadfastness inspired 
photographer Michel Comte to devote nearly a year to the pho- 
to essay Safe Sex, Great Sex. The portfolio has a twofold pur- 
pose: to celebrate life's greatest pleasure and to raise funds to 
fight AIDS. By publishing the photo collection and donating 
$100,000 in its name to the American Foundation for AIDS 
Research, we at PLAYBOY support Comte's mission and contin- 
ue our commitment to the battle against the disease. 

This month marks the debut of two new PLAYBOY columns: 
The Music Biz and Fitness Smarts. In the first, which tracks 
trends in recordland, Los Angeles Times entertainment re- 
porter Patrick Goldstein covers catalog reissues—also known as 
a way to make big bucks off yesterday's artists. The second, by 
Jon Krakauer, celebrates ice—the best and cheapest way to 
mend damaged ligaments and muscles. We also have good 
news for S&M fans: Dean Kuipers provides the kinky details in 
our Nightlife column, “Bondage-a-Go-Go.” In our Hollywood 
column, Contributing Editor Kevin Cook wonders why penises 
are either branded NC-17 or lost on the cutting-room floor. 

“We said penis.” Yes, that’s a Beavis and Butt-head imita- 
tion, and no, we won't make a habit of it. But in commenting 
on Nineties humor (The Golden Age of Stupid), Joe Queenan 
points out that MTV's teenage delinquents, and other ambas- 
sadors of idiocy, reign supreme. 

Contributing Editor Craig Vetter has been numbed by Court 
TV. As he told us after writing All Eyes on Court TV, it started 
with a well-publicized rape trial. A few petty criminals, a can- 
nibal and a pair of mom-and-pop trust-fund murderers later, 
he was hooked. Speaking of over the edge, this month's 
Playboy Interview is with Welsh actor Anthony Hopkins. As we 
learn trom Contributing Editor Lawrence Grobel, the Academy 
Award winner has a dark past, a no-nonsense manner and a 
knighthood. He also has another crack at an Oscar for his 
work in Shadowlands and The Remains of the Day. 

If they handed out Oscars for cartoon humor, by tie way, 
ours would go to Shel Silverstein, whose Sixties menagerie is 
reprised with love and affection 

British racer Nigel Mansell is a nice guy who has finished 
first, with both Formula I and Indycar championship titles. 
For the inside track on Mansell, check out the profile by vet- 
eran race writer Sam Moses. Also in the way of sports, we offer 
a short story about a ski bum, The Courting of Molly Swenson, 
by Ray Dean Mize (illustrated by Bryan Leister). And for duffers, 
Bob Sloan takes us on an amusing round of Literary Golf. On 
this course, the fairways read as well as the authors who in- 
spired them. 

America’s preeminent sex researchers William Masters, Vir- 
ginia Johnson and Robert Kolodny are back with Masters and John- 
son: Adultery, an excerpt from the book Heterosexuality, to be 
published by HarperCollins. The trio explores the impulses 
that lead to infidelity—induding some trysts that have actual- 
ly strengthened marriages (illustrated by Rafal Olbinski). 

In this month's 20 Questions, writer Margy Rochlin spotlights 
actress Halle Berry's real-life role as wife and her performance 
as a Stone Age sexpot in the upcoming Flintstones movie. Also, 
Fashion Director Hollis Wayne previews Calvin Klein's 1994 
spring and summer collection by taking you down the runway 
in Calvin Klein. Finally, to show what else we've been up to re- 
cently, we present Playboy's World Tour 94, a look at Playmates 
from our 17 foreign editions. Of course, we've saved the best 
for last: homegrown beauty and March Playmate Nerich Davis. 


KRAKAUER 


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KUIPERS 


QUEENAN 


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SLOAN 


MASTERS, JOHNSON, KOLODNY 


an 


OLBINSKI ROCHLIN 


Playboy (ISSN 0032-1478), March 1994, volume 41, number 3. Published monthly by Playboy in national and regional editions, Playboy, 
680 North Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, Illinois 60611. Second-class postage paid at Chicago, Illinois and at additional mailing offices. 
Canada Post Canadian Publications Mail Sales Product Agreement No. 56162. Subscriptions: in the U.S., $29.97 for 12 issues. Postmaster: 
Send address change to Playboy, РО. Box 2007, Harlan, Тома 51537-4007. 3 


^] SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Smoking 
Causes Lung Cancer, Heart Disease, 


Emphysema, And May Complicate Pregnancy. 


16 mg "tar; 1.2 mg nicotine av. per cigarette by FTC mothod 


© Philip Moris inc. 1994 


Marlboro | 


PLAYBOY. 


vol. 41, по. —march 1994 CONTENTS FOR THE MEN’S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE 


PLAYBILL ИЕ CL 
DEAE PLAYBOY ST E A 
PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS . 
MOVIES 

VIDEO . 

MUSIC сл; y 4 
THE MUSIC BIZ 3 PATRICK GOLDSTEIN 
HOLLYWOOD Н i : KEVIN COOK 
STYLE. ... 


BRUCE WILLIAMSON 


- . DEAN KUIPERS 


NIGHTLIFE . 

WIRED . 

BOOKS..... Ad erates Ace бале oem ae DIGBY DIEHL 
FITNESS 5МАКТ8....................................... JON KRAKAUER, 
МЕМ en ee el O LEAL 
WOMEN. CYNTHIA HEIMEL 


THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR. 

THE PLAYBOY FORUM. sus Se ren a Rene teas Т СО 
REPORTER'S NOTEBOOK . Bac -. ROBERT SCHEER 
PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: ANTHONY HOPKINS—condid conversation. 


{з ыд» III о 
Ах 4 
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35689888288N8R822833%G Зо 


MASTERS AND JOHNSON: ADULTERY—arIlde _ bz 

SAFE SEX, GREAT SEX—pictoriol . BLOCKS 66 

THE COURTING OF MOLLY SWENSON—fiction . .. RAY DEAN MIZE 78 

THE GOLDEN AGE OF STUPID— humor ........ 82 

NATURALLY, IT'S NERIAH—ployboy's playmate af the manth . 86 

PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES—humor А OAS o 98 

ALL EYES ON COURT TV—artide ...... E CRAIG VETTER 100 Nerioh, Naturally 
CALVIN KLEIN—fashion . HOLLIS WAYNE 102 

NIGEL'S WILD RIDE—playbay aa z ...... SAM MOSES 108 

LITERARY GOLF—humor . РЕР уда BOB SLOAN 112 

PLAYBOY'S WORLD TOUR ’94—pictoriol cc 114 

20 QUESTIONS: HALLE BERRY . . ео 2200124 

SILVERSTEIN'S ZOO—satire ....... =. SHEL SILVERSTEIN 126 
WHERE & HOW TO BUY... sss та. 
алмалы 222: 157 Spring Threads 


COVER STORY 

Sofe Sex, Great Sex started out as a shoot for РАУВО! ond turned into o project 
bigger thon photographer Michel Comte could have imagined. He shot al- 
most 200 men ond women, creating intimate portraits to encourage safe sex; 
those photos have been auctioned, featured in PLaYÉOY or put on exhibit in 
return for donations to AIDS foundations. On our cover this month, Bever- 
ly Hills 90210's bad girl, Shannen Doherty, lends her image to the cause. 


ANY REAL PEOPLE ANO PLACES 18 PURELY COINCIDENTAL” FRANKLIN MINT SUTRERT In ALL DOMESTIC SUBSCRIPTION POLYWRAPPED COPIES CAMEL INSERT BETWEEN PAGES 10.17, FRANKLIN 
Мант INSERT BETWEEN PAGES 24-23, DANBURY MINT CARO BETWEEN PAGES 28 29. OMO COMPACT DISC CLUB INSERT BETWEEN PAGES 22:33 AND ROGAINE CARD BETWEEN PAGES 32 ә С 
DIENTE 35246 Ot FEOFERC EXPEOIDA POR LA DIRECCIÓN GENERAL GEL OERECHO DE AUTON DEPARTMENTS OE RESERVAS. 7 


PRINTED IN U.S.A. 


PLAYBOY 


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PLAYBOY 


HUGH M. ЕМЕН 
editor-in-chief 


ARTHUR KRETCHMER editorial director 
JONATHAN BLACK managing editor 
TOM STAEBLER art director 
GARY COLE photography director 
KEVIN BUCKLEY executive editor 


EDITORIAL 

ARTICLES: JOHN REZEK editor; PETER MOORE 
senior editor; FICTION: ALICE к. TURNER editor; 
FORUM: JAMES R. PETERSEN senior staff writer; 
MATTHEW CHILDS associate editor; MODERN LIV- 
ING: DAVID STEVENS senior editor; BETH TOMKIW 
associale editor; WEST COAST: STEPHEN RANDALL 
editor; STAFF: BRUCE KLUGER. BARBARA NELLIS @s- 
sociate editors; CHRISTOPHER NAPOLITANO assistant 
editor; DOROTHY ATCHESON publishing liaison; 
FASHION: HOLLIS WAYNE director; VIVIAN COLON 
assistant editor; CARTOONS: MICHE RRY edi- 
tor; COPY: LEOPOLD FROEHLICH editor; ARLAN 
BUSHMAN assistant editor; ANNE SHERMAN сору as- 
sociale; MARY ZION lead researcher; CAROLYN 
BROWNE senior researcher; LEE BRAUER, REMA 
SMITH researchers; CONTRIBUTING EDITORS: 
ASA BABER. DENIS BOYLES, KEVIN COOK, GRETCHEN 
EDGREN, LAWRENCE GROBEL, KEN GROSS (GUÍOMO- 
five), CYNTHIA HEIMEL, WILLIAM J. HELMER, WARREN 
KALDACKER, WALTER LOWE, JR. D. KEITH MANO. JOE 
MORGENSTERN. REG POTTERTON. DAVID RENSIN. 
DAVID SHEFF, DAVID STANDISH, MORGAN STRONG, 
BRUCE WILLIAMSON (movies) 


ART 
KERIG pore managing director; BRUCE HANSEN. 
CHET SUSKI, LEN WILLIS senior directors; KRISTIN 
XORJENEK associate director; KELLY KORJENEK assis- 
tant director; ANN зыт. supervisor, keyline/ 
раме-ир; PAUL T. CHAN. RICKIF GUY THOMAS art 
assistants 


PHOTOGRAPHY 
MARILYN CRAROWSKI west coast editor; JEFF COHEN 
managing editor; үїм LARSON. MICHAEL ANN SULLI- 
van senior editors; PATTY BEAUDET associate editor; 
DAVID CHAN, RICHARD FEGLEY. ARNY FREYTAG, 
RICHARD IZUI, DAVID MECEY, BYRON NEWMAN, 
POMPEO РОЗА. STEPHEN wayna contributing pho- 

iphers; SHELLEE WELLS stylist; TIM HAWKINS 

oto librarian 


MICHAEL PERLIS publisher 
IRWIN KORNFELD associate publisher 


PRODUCTION 
MARIA MANDIS director; RITA JOHNSON manager; 
JODY JURGFTO. RICHARD QUARTAROLI, CARRIE LARUE 
HOCKNEY, TOM SIMONEK associate managers 


CIRCULATION 
BARBARA GUTMAN subscription circulation director; 
TARRY A DIERF newsstand sales director; CINDY 
RAKOWITZ communications director 


ADVERTISING 

ERNIE RENZULLI advertising director; JAY BECKLEY 
national projects manager; SALES DIRECTORS: KIM 
1. PINTO eastern region; JODI 1. GOSHGARIAN mid- 
weslern region; STEVE THOMPSON western region; 
MARKETING SERVICES. IRV KORNBLAU marketing di- 
тест; LISA NATALE research 


READER SERVICE 
LINDA STROM, MIKE OSTROWSKI correspondents 


ADMINISTRATIVE 

ERIC SHROPSHIRE computer graphics systems direc- 
lor; EILEEN KENT editorial services director; Marcia 
TERRONES rights & permissions administrator. 


PLAYBOY ENTERPRISES, INC. 
CHRISTIE HEFNER Chairman, chief executive officer 


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DEAR PLAYBOY 


ADDRESS DEAR PLAYBOY 
PLAYBOY MAGAZINE 
680 NORTH LAKE SHORE DRIVE 
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 60611 
OR FAX 312-649-9534 


RUSH LIMBAUGH 
I appreciate D. Keith Mano's inter- 
view with Rush Limbaugh (рі лувоу, De- 
cember), but calling dittoheads (Lim- 
baugh's fans) “unthinking clones" is ап 
insult. Burning Los Angeles to the 
ground is unthinking. Beating a truck 
driver half to death is unthinking. Com- 
paring the removal of an unborn child 
with the removal of a corn is unthinking. 
Finding someone who believes in the 
same things one has believed in for years 
does not make one a part of a group of 
unthinking clones. It takes a lot of think- 
ing, a lot of intellect, to be a conservative. 
We actually have rules, guidelines, moral 
laws. All it takes to be an unthinking lib- 
eral is to know one phrase: Anything goes 

Mark Denton 

Ypsilanti, Michigan 


Let me get this right: Rush Limbaugh 
is incapable of a successful relationship 
because he feels he must act disinterest- 
ed in order to appeal to a woman? 
Skewed logic, that. Let me get this right 
also: Nice guys never get laid? So Rush is 
а nice guy because he never gets laid? 

My guess is that Limbaugh has never 
had a successful relationship with a wom- 
an. Ever. Limited sexual experience, 
little relationship experience. 

Wayne Wilson 
Portland, Oregon 


The most pathetic thing about Rush 
Limbaugh is that he actually believes 
what he says. Be that as it may, let's set a 
few things straight about this guy. 

First of all, he's not middle class. The 
middle class is made up primarily of 
blue-collar people who saw their Ameri- 
can dreams pummeled during the Rea- 
gan-Bush years. Limbaugh has never 
worked a day in his life, so what does he 
really have to say to people who work 
40-plus hours a week and who need 
unions to protect them from corporate 
skulduggery? 


Second, the guy's not believable when 
he says he doesn't listen to other radio 
shows because he doesn't want to pick 
up any ideas. Anybody who has listened 
to the Greaseman, a disc jockey who 
found fame at a Washington, D.C. radio 
station in the Eighties, can’t help but sus- 
pect that Limbaugh may have ripped off 
his voice characterizations, music and 
sound effects. 

Last, the guy's not a conservative. 
When a college dropout says that Roe 15. 
Wade is “bad constitutional law,” real 
conservatives turn the dial. 

Laurance A. Wright 
Santa Fe, New Mexico 


Your interview with Rush Limbaugh is 
a credit both to pıavrov and to Tim- 
baugh himself. Much of what he says de- 
serves serious consideration and discus- 
sion. On one issue, however, he misses 
the point, and I cannot allow that to 
stand unchallenged. 

Limbaugh states that abortion “is a 
moral choice to be determined in a dem- 
ocratic fashion by the people.” He ig- 
nores an important part of what makes 
America so great: Although majority 
rules, the higher calling is to protect in- 
dividual rights. We cannot live in a coun- 
try where personal rights can be denied 
to half the population of any region only 
because that region can muster a slim 
majority of votes representing intoler- 
ance for others and still call ourselves 
free. And this is regardless of whether 
the intolerance is based on race, religion, 
sexual preference or any other factor. 

David C. Barber 
San Diego, California 


Many thanks for the Rush Limbaugh 
interview. As a liberated African-Ameri- 
can woman who has read rLavBOY for 
more than 20 years and who strongly es- 
poused Limbaugh's philosophy long be- 
fore first hearing him in the mid-Eight- 
ies, I am hardly your typical dittohead. 
But I am living proof that a person (even 


B 


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PLAYBOY 


a black woman) can enjoy the quality of 
the world's finest magazine and, at the 
same time, thoroughly agree with and 
ardently adhere to the wholesome and 
vital message promulgated by Lim- 
baugh. Mega dittos, Rush! This country 
needs many millions more like you. 
Claudette Spillard 
Oakland, California 


Rush Limbaugh gives two reasons for 
doing the Playboy Interview: “Men and 
women of great stature” have done it, 
and, as the “epitome of morality and 
virtue,” he was heeding the words of Je- 
sus: “Go to where the sinners are.” 

I'd like to offer a third reason: Rush 
Limbaugh will do almost anything for 
money, and doing a Playboy Interview that 
coincides with the publication of his new 
book is a wise marketing strategy. Rush 
Limbaugh is truly the epitome of moral- 
ity and virtue, and his тошо is “You go 
to where the new customers are.” 

And let's consider this gem from the 
interview: “Nice guys never get laid.” 
Since Rush has staunchly maintained 
that he won't engage in sex outside of 
wedlock, shouldn't his stance be: "Nice 
guys who want to be the epitome of 
morality and virtue never want to get 
laid unless they're married”? 

‘Tom Frangicetto 
Langhorne, Pennsylvania 


Rush Limbaugh says that his size is not 
the reason he doesn't own a pair of blue 
jeans. For a man who has an ego like the 
Sahara Desert, a heart like a flea and a 
buu like an elephant, I can recommend 
a pair: Lardache. 

James L. Hunt 
Tuscumbia, Alabama 


BABER'S AMERICAN NIGHTMARE 

Condolences to. Contributing Editor 
Asa Baber on the loss of his friend, 
Ronald Hering, and thanks to him for 
PLAYBOY's compelling December Men col- 
umn, “An American Nightmare.” 

No doubt child abuse, abusers and vic- 
tims exist, but false accusations of abuse 
have become a prime choice of those 
who wish to exploit the law. 

The Department of Human Services 
liaison for the lowa Access Enforcement 
Project reported that about 65 percent 
of abuse reports in Iowa were unfound- 
ed and that, where divorce was in 
progress, 80 percent of the allegations 
were unfounded. Too often, fathers are 
presumed guilty until proved innocent, 
with nary a penalty for false accusers. 
(Recently, though, a San Jose man won a 
$43,900 award for emotional distress af- 
ter his ex-wife and her husband wrongly 
accused him of child molestation and 
kept him from seeing his children.) 

It is difficult for many separated par- 
ents to deal with the custody issue. But 
what should not be difficult is to admit 


12 that a child, except in extraordinary cir- 


cumstances, should maintain access to 
both parents and vice versa, and that the 
law should reduce conflict by requiring 
such access. 

Bruce Kaskubar 

Coordinator, Children's Rights 

Council of Minnesota 
Rochester, Minnesota 


Hats off to Asa Baber for once again 

telling a poignant story unsentimentally. 
Eric Johnson 

Cleveland, Ohio 


ARLENE BAXTER 

Your trend toward featuring women 
who are out of their teens is the best 
thing a 30-somcthing male such as my- 
self could hope for. December Playmate 
Arlene Baxter (Northwestern Exposure), 
who is justa few days younger than Iam, 
is gorgeous. She continues in the fine 
tradition of women such as Leisa Sheri- 


dan and Julianna Young, who prove that 
they are as sexy as—if not sexier than— 
their younger counterparts. 
Rodger Haley 
Hercules, California 


ERIKA ELENIAK 
Can there be a more beautiful and 
sensuous woman than Erika Eleniak 
(Beverly Hills Hot, млувоу, December)? 
Her beauty and radiance leap from the 
page just as much as they did back in 
July 1989. 
Brendan Duignan 
Dublin, Ireland 


FEM 2 FEM 
I thought | identified with the PLAYBOY 
mentality, but after the Fem 2 Fem picto- 
rial in the December issue, I have doubts. 
Why would you think that men want 
to look at the bodies of a group of male- 
hating lesbians? If the members of Fem 2 


Fem are typical, they despise everything 
1 am as a male, or any desire 1 might 
have for them. No amount of lipstick, 
quasi-glamour or commercial marketing 
will change that. 

Dwight Stewart 

Myrtle Beach, South Carolina 


When млувоу approached Fem 2 
Fem I thought it a perfect opportunity to 
be heard. | was surprised, actually, that 
such a mainstream, basically “straight 
male's" magazine would be interested. 
When we did the interview 1 was excited 
because we expressed all our thoughts. 

I revealed my sexuality, my feelings on 
discrimination and prejudice and my 
own personal struggle with my family. In 
essence, I revealed my soul. So you can 
imagine how saddened I was when I saw 
the issue for the first time. I was quoted 
as saying “gay rights can be glamourous.” 

The fight for gay rights is anything but 
glamourous. It is a seemingly endless 
battle with homophobia. It is a struggle 
to gain acceptance by your friends, fami- 
ly, employees and the world. 

Discrimination and hatred, 1 believe, 
stem from fear. Fear of the unknown, 
fear of the unfamiliar. Education and 
awareness are the only ways to diminish 
these fears. We are not bad people. We 
are your sisters, brothers, neighbors, 
teachers and friends. We are every- 
where. It is time to recognize arid listen. 
It is time to open your mind. 

Lynn Pompey 
Los Angeles, California 


The pictorial with Fem 2 Fem, which 
venerates their openly sexual lifestyle, is 
definitely a crotch-buster. Their musi 
and stage performances take risks, and 
women sorely need these kinds of risks 
in this age of political correctness. The 
group scrves as a role model for other 
women in rock and for young women 
who wish to pursue an unashamed sexu- 
al lifestyle, be it lesbian or hetero. 

Cliff Johnson 
Lexington Park, Maryland 


SEX: AN ORAL HISTORY 
As a sex therapist and psychothera- 

pist, what intrigues me most about your 
excerpts from Harry Maurer’s book 
(Sex: An Oral History, PLAYBOY, December) 
is how normal the people in his profiles 
seem. Stories of multiple partners, ran- 
dom aflairs, same-sex encounters and 
other erotic adventures are commonly 
heard in my practice—not because my 
clients are disturbed by them but simply 
because these experiences are part of 
many adults’ sexual lives. I enjoyed look- 
ing through the bedroom windows 
whose curtains Maurer has pulled back, 
just to have a busman's holiday. 

William A. Henkin 

San Francisco, California 


© 1991 Sphistfoln & Somerset Co., NY, NY, Cognac Hennessy 40% Ас Мо. (80°) 


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` PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS 


SHORING UP SCRIPTURE 


According to its brochure, the Insti- 
tute for Creation Research in Santee, 
California is an evangelical organization 
devoted to “spearheading biblical Chris- 
tianity’s defense against the godless dog- 
ma of evolutionary humanism.” Feeling 
kind of devolved and inhuman our- 
selves, we stopped by the institute's Mu- 
seum of Creation and Earth History to 
examine its creationist version of time— 
from “Let there be light” to the present. 
The museum’s exhibits offer tortuous 
proofs of the validity of the Great Flood, 
Christ's resurrection and the Tower of 
Babel. The Fallacies of the Big Bang 
‘Theory display illustrates the problems 
with carbun 14 dating. The Flood 
Room—complete with thunder-and- 
rain sound effects, flashing strobes and a 
model of the ark attempts to offer sci- 
entific explanations for such questions as 
“Why would it stay afloat?” and “How 
could all the animals fit aboard?” Our fa- 
vorite demonstration includes two trees 
and the fruits they produce: Nazism. 
bestiality, homosexuality, abortion, child 
abuse and humanism are the fruits of 
evolutionary thinking; in contrast, the 
creationist tree produces hope, morality, 
Americanism and family life. Balderdash 
and boneheadedness didn't show up on 
either one. 


CARIACKER OF THE YEAR 


A California woman's 1979 Chevy Ca- 
maro was such an undrivable wreck, she 
was amazed when someone was able to 
steal it. She was even more impressed 
when the police found and returned the 
car to her four months later, running 
smoothly and boasting new doors, bat- 
tery, grille, major body repairs and even 
new locks. Apparently, her auto mechan- 
ic believed in the car more than she did: 
He was the guy who stole it. 


Mmm-mm good: In a report about 
word-ofmouth marketing networks for 
new products such as Replenz vaginal 
cream, readers of The Wall Street Journal 


found a bit of tongue-in-cheek humor in 
the article’s headline: “They Put Their 
Money Where Your Mouth Is.” 


AN EXCEPTIONAL PERFORMANCE 


While the Colombian government has 
its share of problems on ground level, 
things don't get much better up in the 
air. The Washington, D.C.-based Inter- 
national Airline Passengers Association 
reported in a recent Travel Safety Alert 
newsletter that no nation “had a worse 
fatal accident record than Colombia in 
the past ten years” and blamed a dan- 
gerously ineffective air traffic system and 
“questionable pilot training.” The Co- 
lombian government responded with a 
report of its own that stated: “Excluding 
1983, 1986, 1988 and 1990, fatality risk 
in Colombian air travel is very low com- 
pared with other countries.” Excluding 
the U.S., Canada, Mexico, Australia, West- 
ern Europe and most of Asia, tha 


SLAM DUMP 


When Dr. Stanford Shulman, chief of 
infectious diseases at Children’s Memo- 
rial Hospital in Chicago, discovered a 


ILLUSTRATION BYPATER SATO 


new strain of salmonella last winter, he 
decided to name it Salmonella mjordan af- 
ter the Bulls’ former star guard. The o1 
ganism causes diarrhea, severe hi 
aches and abdominal pain. Jordan's 
agent, David Falk, was more than a little 
bewildered by this and suggested that in 
the future, doctors seek names for or- 
ganisms elsewhere. 


NIT PICS 


Scratching your head about what to 
give that special someone? The National 
Pediculosis Association has just come out 
with its Latest Greatest Coloring Book About 
Lice. As an extra bonus, the book in- 
cludes the rules and regulations for the 
NPAs annual Ilcad Lice Awareness 
Poster contest. The number to call is 
Pyrinate A-3000. 


A bumper sticker seen making the 
commute around Washington, D.C.'s 
Beltway: WONK 1F YOU LOVE POLICY. 


NEW BULL MARKET 


The University of Michigan's econom- 
ics dub is offering—for an economical 
$5—Economist Greats, a series of 29 trad- 
ing cards that pay homage to the num- 
ber-crunching nerds whose work we 
don't understand but whose influence 
on our lives is profound. One card lauds 
Gerard Debreu for giving “formal condi- 
tions for the Pareto optimality of an eco- 
nomic allocation, for the local unique- 
ness and (with Kenneth Arrow) the 
existence of general equilibria.” So be 
the first on your block to get ‘ет, trade 
"em or just forget the whole damn thing. 


SHORT CUT OF A LADY 


Gee, the things a woman will say to 
flatter a man. Actress Illeana Douglas 
has documented 30 expressions of femi- 
nine self-deprecation in her directorial 
debut, The Perfect Woman, an eight 
minute movie screened at the New York 
Film Festival. After some dreary roles (as 
a rape victim in Cape Fear and a plane 
crash survivor in Alive) and boorish 


RAW 


FACT OF THE 
MONTH 
Fifty-six percent 
of all inmates in 
federal prisons in 
1991 were there on. 


drug convictions. 
QUOTE 
“The idea that 


black people can 
tolerate crime іп 
their neighborhood 
just because the sus- 
pects are black is 
such bullshit. Yet 
you have an Al 
Sharpton who 
would do just that. He has that racist 
attitude that as long as you're black, 
you're OK." —ACTOR JAMES EARL JONES, 
IN AN INTERVIEW WITH Steppin’ Ош MAG- 
AZINE, ON THE REVEREND AL SHARPTON 
АМЫ KEVEKSE KAGISM 


LORDY, LORDY 

According to the American Muslim 
Council, percentage of Americans 
who believe that Muslims are reli- 
gious fanatics: 43. According to the 
International Social Survey Program, 
percentage of Americans who sup- 
port prayer in public schools: 64. 


LET FREEDOM RING 

Number of foreigners who applied 
to the U.S. for political asylum in 
1992: 100,000. Percentage who are 
from Cuba and Haiti: 7.6. Percentage 
from Guatemala: 43.8. Number of 
applicants on waiting list to see an 
asylum officer: 250,000. Number of 
asylum officers: 150. 


DOWNHILL SKIING 
Estimated number of Americans 
who skied in 1988: 18.2 million; in 
1991: 14.8 million. Total sales of ski 
equipment and apparel in 1988: $1 

billion; in 1991: $600 million, 


TALKING TRASH 
Current number of garbage collec- 
tors in the U.S.: 60,000; іп 1980: 
77,000. Number of economists in the 
U.S.: 152,000; in 1980: 95,000. Per- 
centage decrease in garbage collec- 
tors since 1980: 22; percentage 


DATA 


increase іп 
omists: 59. 


econ- 


HARD FACTS ON 
SOFTWARE 
The percentage of 
computer software in 
Thailand that is not 


in Japan: 
:65. 


NATIONAL 
INSTITUTE OF 
HARASSMENT 

Number of com- 
plaints about sexual 
harassment and ra- 
dal or age discrimi- 
nation filed by employees at the Na- 
tional Institutes of Health in 1992: 
242; number of complaints that have 
been resolved: 62; number of em- 
ployees at NIH: 00. 


А 
$ 
i 


GERMAN UNITY? 
Number of rightwing extremists 
in Germany: 40,000; number of Jew- 
ish citizens in Germany: 40,000. 


PRICE OF PEACE 
Cost of United Nations peacekeep- 
ing operations from 1945 to 1992: 
$8.3 billion. Estimated cost of UN 
peacekeeping efforts in 1992 and 
1005: $6 Hm 


BELT TIGHTENING 
As of 1992, percentage of Ameri- 
cans who wear seat belts while driv- 
ing: 62; in 1982: 12. Number of states 
that require drivers to wear belts: 42. 


DATING GAME 

Odds that a dating service will go 
out of business within two years: 3 out 
of 4. Number of Americans who are 
members of Great Expectations video 
dating service: 150,000. Average cost 
of a three-year membership: $2000. 
Number of married couples who met 
through Great Expectations: 9000. 


FRANK AND STONE 
Record price paid at auction for a 
movie poster of 1931's Frankenstein: 
$198,000. Price paid for the ice pick 
used by Sharon Stone's character in 
Basic Instinct: $3750.—PAUL ENGLEMAN 


ex-boyfriends (current beau Martin 
Scorsese not among them), Douglas was 
inspired to lighten up. With an array 
of actresses, the film features perfect 
women sweet-talking in their most gen- 
uine deadpan delivery. “God, I love the 
"Three Stooges,” says one woman to a 
man off camera. Then she's nailed in the 
face by a lemon meringue pie (one of the 
flick's few slapstick moments). Without 
losing her smile, she says, “Your college 
buddies are so great.” “You're not mis 
taken,” another perfect woman squeaks, 

“mustaches do run in my family.” And: 
“I hope it doesn't bother you that I'm a 
One forgiving woman gently 
Honey, the thing about birthdays 
I have one every year.” Another vows, 
support you for as long as you want 
to bea rock musician." And to think that 
we always thought they meant it. 


SOYLENT BROWN 


Japanese scientists have created a new 
taste sensation: a protein-rich mix that 
resembles beef in texture, taste and 
smell. Unfortunately, the burgerlike prod- 
uct is derived from raw sewage. Scientist 
Mitsuyuki Ikeda explained: “We wanted 
to show that what comes out of the body 
can be recycled to go back into the 
body.” But for how long? 


POINT HEADS 


Ina recent issue of Mileage & Points, a 
newsletter for frequent fliers, a reader 
wrote in with several suggestions on how 
to triple your mileage earnings, She sug- 
gested buying an airline ticket on an air- 
line affinity card and transferring the 
balance to your American Express Opti- 
ma card to earn mileage from the flight, 
from the charge and from the transfer. 
Or you can earn seven miles for every 
dollar spent by making long-distance 
calls on MCI, paying the bill with the 
affinity card and transferring the bal- 
ance. We admire her ingenuity, but this 
woman should use her frequent flier 
mileage to get out a little more. 


POSTER BABES 


Cheesecake never spoils. In the tradi- 
tion of the camera clubs of the Fifties 
comes Glamourcon 2, the largest con- 
vention of its kind for pinup collectors 
and enthusiasts, scheduled for March 12 
and 13. Thousands of vintage paintings, 
posters and calendars by such masters 
as Vargas and Olivia will turn the Los 
Angeles Airport Hilton into the world's 
largest girlie show. Also, the most famous 
aficionado of the form, Hugh M. Hefner, 
will be on hand (as will Playmate Susie 
"Flaxen" Owens) to unveil PLAYBOY'S 
40th-anniversary, limited-edition photo 
of our 1955 centerfold shot of Bettie 
Page. It's autographed by Hef and Bet- 
tie—a timeless tag team that helped put 
the pop in pinup art 


SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Smoking 
By Pregnant Women May Result in Fetal 
Injury, Premature Birth, And Low Birth Weight. 


11 mg. "tar", 0.8 mg. nicotine a. rette by FTC method. 


SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Smoking 


By Pregnant Women May Result in Fetal 
Injury, Premature Birth, And Low Birth Weight. 


© 994.1 REYNOLDS TOBACCO CO. 


MOVIES 


By BRUCE WILLIAMSON 


STEVEN SPIELBERG, a box-office miracle 
worker who has cornered the youth 
market with everything from Jaws to 
Jurassic Park, grows up asa director with 
Schindler’s List (Universal). Liam Neeson 
portrays Oskar Schindler, the high-liv- 
ing German tycoon whose hunger for 
huge profits is ultimately displaced by 
his humanity. The real-life Schindler res- 
cued some 1300 Polish Jews bound for 
Nazi death camps by employing them as 
factory workers, and inspired a novel by 
Thomas Keneally, Spielberg's meticu- 
lous re-creation of the time and place is 
filmmaking on a grand scale. Neeson 
brings bravado to the main role without 
trying to win audience sympathy. Ralph 
Fiennes, in a showy performance laced 
with venom, is fiendish as Goeth—the 
cruel camp commandant who beats his 
Jewish housemaid-mistress (Embeth Da- 
vidtz) and tries to intimidate Schind- 
ler's Jewish aide (Ben Kingsley). While 
decades of documentation make some of 
it look painfully familiar, can Spiel- 
berg's List be dismissed as a litany of les- 
sons the world has long since learned? 
Hardly. Vivid black-and-white photogra- 
phy brings newsreel impact to a stirring 
personal drama that looks all too rele- 
vant in a new era of hate, skinhead as- 
saults and ethnic cleansing. УУУУ 


He may be competing with himself in 
the Oscar race, but Anthony Hopkins. 
follows his triumph in The Remains of the 
Day with a wrenchingly fine perfor- 
mance as British author C. S. Lewis in 
Shadowlands (Savoy). Austere, English 
and showing its theatrial roots in 
William Nicholson's adaptation of his 
stage play, the movie is directed by 
Richard Attenborough, whose Gandhi 
took home eight 1982 Oscars. Debra 
Winger plays American poet Joy Gresh- 
am, Lewis’ ardent admirer and wife—a 
divorced Jewish woman with wit and an 
indomitable will. When she dies of can- 
cer, leaving her young son with Lewis, 
Shadowlands veers into pathos but gives 
Hopkins a chance to let his pent- 
up emotions flow. It's a poignant true 
romance. ¥¥¥ 

. 


The grim reality of AIDS should guar- 
antee that Philadelphia (Tri-Star) will be 
nominated for several Academy Awards. 
Win or lose, director Jonathan (Silence of 
the Lambs) Demme's timely drama boasts 
two top-of-the-line acting jobs: by Tom 
Hanks asa gay lawyer who sues his pres- 
tigious legal firm for dismissing him 
because he has AIDS, and by Denzel 
Washington as the TV-advertised, ho- 


Winger, Hopkins: out of the shadows. 


Spielberg's triumph, top 
billing to AIDS and Stone's 
striking elegy on Vietnam. 


mophobic legal eagle who handles 
Hanks case and learns something about 
tolerance along the way. Lest main- 
stream America miss a point, the moral 
issues are set forth with blueprint preci- 
sion by writer Ron Nyswaner. Various 
foes (Jason Robards and Mary Steenbur- 
gen for the defense), family (Joanne 
Woodward as Tom's loyal mom) and a 
friend (Antonio Banderas as his lover) 
move Philadelphia into the rank of major 
movies with a message. УУУУ 


English actor Hugh Grant clearly sees 
that Binter Moon (Fine Line) is something 
ofa joke. He is paired with Kristin Scott- 
"Thomas as onc half of a British married 
couple more or less trapped on shi 
board by a failed American novelist (Pe- 
ter Coyote) who lures the captive Brits 
into interminable conversations about 
is destructive, sexually insatiable wife 
(Emmanuelle Seigner). Married to Sei- 
gner, whose earthy beauty is exploited to 
the max, director Roman Polanski digs 
into love-hate relationships with gusto. 
Polanski, at times, also digs with a 
schoolboy's notion of depravity. His Bit- 
ter Moon is visually arresting, like most 
Polanski works, yet he seems to have a 
tenuous grasp on his material. In the 
frequent flashbacks, Coyote gets tied up 
and beaten and crawls around naked ex- 
cept for a pig mask until he eventually 
winds up an embittered cripple, pas- 


sion’s plaything cruelly cast aside. While 
the novelist’s purple prose appears to 
taint much of the arch dialogue, doubts 
persist that Bitter Moon's dark humor is 
more often inept than intentional. ¥¥ 


Four freethinking sisters in Spain аге 
the objects of a young stud’s ardent de- 
sires in Belle Epoque (Sony Classics). As 
the resident lover-boy Fernando, an 
army deserter in 1981, Jorge Sanz is the 
hero of director Fernando Trueba’s 
droll, subtitled comedy—a lively exam- 
ple of the new Spanish cinema. In flight 
from his military service, Fernando falls 
in with a wise old country gentleman 
whose four daughters come home for a 
visit just in time to keep Fernando on the 
premises. Before long, he has slept with 
three of them in turn—the firt, the les- 
bian, the widow—and saves the best for 
more lasting happiness. Maribel Verdü 
and Penélope Cruz stand out as two of 
the ripe and ready sisters, though Truc- 
ba treats all of Belle Epoque's byplay abed 
with cheeky insouciance. Call it a spirited 
ode to life, love and free will. ¥¥¥ 


Hiep Thi Le, a California college stu- 
dent making lici acting debut, is hard to 
resist as the key figure in Oliver Stone's 
Heaven and Earth (Warner). She's the win- 
some new face cast as a Vietnamese 
woman whose memoirs replay history 
through war, torture, rape, pregnancy, 
prostitution, poverty and a bad postwar 
period in California as the wife of an un- 
stable U.S. Marine. Tommy Lee Jones 
plays the husband with striking intensity, 
while beautiful Joan Chen goes drab and 
toothless as the woman's peasant moth- 
er. All of Heaven and Earth is mightily 
overwrought. Leave it to Stone as writer, 
co-producer and director to pay another 
tribute to Vietnam as an idyllic land 
spoiled by brutish, ugly Americans. Was 


The so-called Guildford Four were 
wild Irish innocents wrongly convicted 
of a 1974 London bombing and sen- 
тепсей to prison. That colossal miscar- 
riage of English justice propels In the 
Name of the Father (Universal) into a dark, 
psychological maze that should heap 
new honors on Daniel Day-Lewis, an Os- 
car winner for My Left Foot. Working 
again with Left Foot director Jim Sheri- 
dan, Day-Lewis snarls at fate as Gerry 
Conlon, the young Irish lout whose 
years behind bars bring him closer to his 
ailing, distant dad (marvelously played 
by Pete Postlethwaite). While both father 
and son languish in prison, angry and 
alienated from each other, a dogged legal 


18 


Ferrer: going against type 


OFF CAMERA 


He paused in New York to loop 
dialogue for The Stand, a TV series 
based on Stephen King's novel. 
“Im the devil's assistant—type- 
casting,” says Miguel Ferrer, headed 
home to Los Angeles from Bu- 
dapest after shooting Royce, a 
Showtime special, with co-star Jim 
Belushi. Until recently, when he 
landed a leading role in The Har- 
vest, about a writer getting his 
lumps in Puerto Vallarta, Ferrer 
was in steady demand as a bad 
guy, including the corporate creep 
who came to grief in the first Robo- 
cop and a shifty Mexican bandito 
in Revenge. 

The eldest son of stage and 
screen star Jose Ferrer and singer 
Roscmary Clooney, Ferrer, at 99, is 
more than ready to change his im- 
age. “Hollywood will bag you if 
you let it,” he notes. In The Har- 
vest, he comes off as a latter-day 
Bogart. Since Bogey was the kind 
of leading man Ferrer aspires to 
be, “that's the nicest compliment 
anyone can give me.” While film- 
ing Harvest, he met and married 
his co-star, Leilani Sarelle, who 
was Sharon Stone's lesbian side- 
kick in Basic Instinct. “I hardly 
recognized her—but I thought, 
wow.” They're now wowed by a 
baby boy. 

Ferrer's artistic genes led him 
into music first. He still plays 
drums around L.A. with a group 
called the Jenerators, and he 
drummed with Keith Moon and 
Bing Crosby before he turned to 
acting in his 20s. “I think I was in- 
timidated by my father's success 
and talent. I didn’t want to invite 
unflattering comparisons, and 1 
even look like him.” Miguel will 
soon appear in Blank Check, which 
he calls “a Home Alone clone. 1 ter- 
rorize a kid.” He's also collaborat- 
ing (with Ed Neumeier of Robocop) 
on “a very offensive black comedy. 
"Тһе heroes are two hired killers 
back in 1949. But ГИ be a good 
guy—comparatively.” 


counselor (Emma Thompson) fights to 
reopen their case. Such amazing true 
stories have been dramatized before, but 
damned few are so powerfully acted and 
feel so painfully personal as this. УУУХ. 


Named for the brief period a rodeo 
rider has to hang on before he bites the 
dust, 8 Seconds (New Line) scores as a 
bull-busting Rocky. Directed by John С. 
Avildsen (who won an Oscar for the orig- 
inal Rocky), the movie also tells the world 
that Luke Perry's rise to TV stardom in 
Beverly Hills 90210 was no fluke. Perry 
exudes easy warmth and screen pres- 
ence as the late, lamented Lane Frost, a 
champion bull rider who became a leg- 
end in rodeo. Opposite Cynthia Geary 
(of TV's Northern Exposure) as his loyal 
but neglected wife, with Stephen Bald- 
win and Red Mitchell as his circuit bud- 
dies, Perry looks every inch a movie cre- 
ation whose time is now. YYV 


A divorced man (James Spader) tries 
again with a blazing beauty (Mädchen 
Amick) he scarcely knows in Dream Lover 
(Gramercy). Soon the surprises start to 
multiply: Does his new wife have a dark 
past? Another identity? A secret lover? 
Writer-director Nicholas Kazan (son of 
director Elia) spins a tight web of sus- 
pense avund liis liero—witli Spader ca- 
cellent as an architect whose perfect 
world begins to sag at the seams. The 
seams split when Lover has him carted 
off to the loony bin to hatch a counter- 
plot that is almost too crazy for words. УУ 


A stellar and occasionally brilliant cast 
that includes Jeremy Irons, Glenn Close, 
Meryl Streep, Antonio Banderas, Wino- 
na Ryder and Vanessa Redgrave can’t 
quite pump up the magical realism es- 
sential to The House of the its (Mira- 
max). Too many wrong choices under- 
cut the film version of Isabel Allende's 
sweeping novel about a South American 
family motivated by love, profit, pride 
and mysticism. The least likely choice for 
the job at hand is Danish writer-director 
Bille August, who won an Oscar for Pelle 
the Conqueror and worked miracles with 
Ingmar Bergman's screenplay for The 
Best Intentions. Here, August’s dialogue 
and direction are often awkward. at 
times laughable, as if his cool Scandina- 
vian blood and Allende’s Latin passions 
were тит Шу out of sync. As the fam- 
ily patriarch, Irons overacts with some 
panache, while Close hams it up as his 
severe, unloved sister. Streep has golden 
moments as Clara, the clairvoyant wife. 
But Spirits soars in spots only to nose- 
dive again, handicapped by infusions of 
melodramatic corn. ¥¥/2 


MOVIE SCORE CARD 


capsule close-ups of current films 
by bruce williamson 


Belle Epoque (See review) Naughty boy 
does all four daughters in Spain. УУУ 
Bitter Moon (See review) Everything 
about sex games—hy Polanski. YY 
Blink (Reviewed 2/94) Stowe plays a 
blind eyewitness to murder. wy 
Carlitos Way (2/94) As а sleazebag 
lawyer, Penn upstages Pacino. УУУ 
The Cement Garden (2/94) Incestuous 
kids bury mama in the basement. YY 
Dream Lover (See review) Is she is or is 
she air't who she says she is? w 
8 Seconds (See review) Luke Perry 
rides high in a bullish biography. ¥¥¥ 
Faraway, So Close (2/94) Only for die- 
hard fans of director Wim Wenders. ¥ 
Heaven and Earth (See review) Back to 
Vietnam with Oliver Stone. Wh 
The House of the Spirits (See review) Big, 
big stars—but loses the soul of the 
novel. Wh 
In the Nome of the Father (See review) 
‘Suspected Irish bombers on trial. WAY 
Naked (1/94) Britain under fire, and 
David Thewlis makes it houer. ¥¥¥/2 
The Pelican Brief (Listed only) Like the 
book—with Julia Roberts and Denzel 
Washington endangered nonstop. ¥¥¥ 
A Perfect World (Listed only) Co-star 
Clint Eastwood directs Kevin Costner 
as an escaped convict and kidnapper 
in a taut thriller. wy 
Philadelphia (See review) Lawyer with 
AIDS takes his case to court УУУУ 
The Piano (12/93) This year's Oscar 
voters may give it some play. ¥¥¥¥ 
The Remains of the Day (12/93) More 
awards—another Hopkins triumph 
and а Merchant-Ivory coup. УУУУ 
Romeo Is Bleeding (12/93) Violence 
mainly for laughs has Olin and Old- 
man knee-deep in mayhem. | УУУ 
Savage Nights (2/94) An HIV-positive 
French filmmaker on the town. ¥¥/2 
The Scent of Green Papaya (2/94) Love, 
romance in prewar Vietnam. ¥¥¥ 
Schindler’s List (See review) German 
profiteer saves Polish Jews in Spiel- 
berg’s excruciating epic. vom 
Shadowlands (See review) Anthony 
Hopkins yet again, fine as ever. ¥¥¥ 
Six Degrees of Separation (2/94) Con 
artist says he's Poitier's son. vw 
Twogether (2/94) Unmarried parents 
fall in love. Too, too sweet. yy 
What's Eating Gilbert Grape (2/94) Daft 
tide for а deft comedy about a wildly 
dysfunctional family. wu) 
Wrestling Ernest Hemingway (2/94) МЕ 
names try a geriatric turn. 


УУУУ Don't miss 
¥¥¥ Good show 


YY Worth a look 
У Forget it 


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20 


VIDEO 


ШИШ 


Apparently, NBC 

sportscaster Marv 

Albert has been a 

guest on Letter- 

mans show once 

too often. “Here are 

my top five movies,” 

V he says of his fa- 

vorite let's-go-to- 

the-tape fare: "Mississippi Burning, Doctor 
Zhivago, City Slickers, When Harry Met 
Sally and Mr. Saturday Night.” But Albert 
doesn't limit himself to epic dramas and 
Billy Crystal comedies. “I also watch a lot 
of old sports games,” he says, “and Air 
Time, a documentary on Michael Jordan, 
is one of the all-time leading videos.” 
Flicks destined to make Mary's first team 
include In the Line of Fire, The Fugitive and 
Woody Allen's Manhattan Murder Mys- 
tery. But ultimately, home viewing always 
goes head-to-head with work. “For exam- 
ple, | really enjoyed The Lover," he says, 
"but it was released at the height of the 
NBA season. How dare they?" —susan nun 


HOLMES VIDEO 


Few movic scrics have the shelf life of 
the Sherlock Holmes genre; there’s just 
something about Conan Doyle's cool- 
headed London gumshoe that keeps the 
home vids burning. Before the next one 
comes along, though, you may want to 
take a look back—turkeys and all. 

The House of Fear (1945): Sherlock (Basil 
Rathbone) and Watson (Nigel Bruce) 
drop in at a Scottish castle, where a 
group of friends—with fat insurance 
policies—are getting bumped off one by 
One. Classic story, classic Holmes. 

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes: A Scandal 
in Bohemia (1984): Blackmail, intrigue— 
and the only woman for whom Holmes 
had a soft spot. Jeremy Brett is the 
volatile, cold, rude, eccentric—and per- 
haps best—Holmes. 

The Seven-Per-Cent Solution (1977): Holmes 
(Nicol Williamson) seeks a cure for his 
cocaine addiction from Sigmund Freud 
(Alan Ark Robert Duvall, with a pass- 
able English accent, is Dr. Watson. Worth 
а snoop. 

Crucifer of Blood (1991): Charlton Heston 
is Holmes in this stolen-treasure story— 
aclinker made for cable. Laughable, and 
the rest of the cast knows it 

Young Sherlock Holmes (1985): The Victori- 
an supersleuth goes to boarding school. 
“The real star: the hallucinatory special 
effects. Directed by Barry Levinson. 

The Adventure of Sherlock Holmes’ Smarter 
Brother (1975): Gene Wilder and Made- 
line Kahn search for laughs. The mys- 


tery? How this dog got made. 
Without a Clue (1989): Story suggests that 
Watson (Ben Kingsley) was the real ge- 
nius, and Holmes (Michael Caine) just a 
drunken actor. Decent, funny premise. 
They Might Be Giants (1971): George C. 
Scott is a retired judge who thinks he is 
Holmes. Joanne Woodward is his shrink, 
Dr. Watson. Clever script. 

—REED KIRK RAHLMANN 


VIDBITS 


From Facets Video, a trilogy of rare fare 
from French New Wave pioneer Jean- 
Luc Godard: tci et Ailleurs (Here and Else- 
where) follows the Palestinian revolution 
from inside rebel camps, Comment ба Va? 
(How's It Going?) is a film-within-a-film 
commentary on Communist misinfor- 
mation tactics, and Numero Deux explores 
technology and family in what is called a 
remake of Godard's own Breathless. Call 
-331-6197. . . . Milestone Film & 
leo's Animation Legend: Winsor McCay 
preserves the surviving films of the carly 
20th century cartoonist, whose colorful 
cast of characters included Little Nemo 
and (step aside, Barney) Gertie the Di- 
nosaur New music Бу В. J. Miller up- 
dates the package. . . . Attention gluttons 
for punishment: MPI has released a 
newly restored, uncut and uncensored 
version Of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. 
Filmed 20 years ago in Austin, the Tobe 
Hooper gorefest (about five friends on 
the run from a thing called Leatherface) 
went on to gross more than $50 million 


worldwide. And we do mean gross. Avail- 
able on tape ($20) and laser ($30). . . . 
MCA/Universal has rolled out an 
“unabridged” director's cut of Marlon 
Brando's The Night of the Following Day 
(1968), a creepy tale of a kidnapping 
gone wrong. According to Hubert 
Cornfield, who directed the thriller, the 
original version was ultimately supplant- 
ed by an edited TV version that “totally 
betrayed the intent of my film.” Having 
at one point asked that his name be re- 
moved from the credits, Cornfield is 
now pushing the refurbished rerelease. 


LASER FARE 


Laser goes from blue to red this month 
with two new music-on-disc entries. 
BMCG's Blues Alive ($17) is a 54-minute 
valentine to the blues, with perfor- 
mances by such soulful greats as Buddy 
Guy (Five Long Years), Albert Collins (Z 
Ain't Drunk) and Ruth Brown (Lucky So 
and So). And from Polygram comes a 
four-side, three-hour rendering of Mus- 
sorgsky's Boris Godunov, adapted from a 
live broadcast from the Mariinsky The- 
ater in St. Petersburg in 1990. Cast in- 
cludes stars from the Kirov Opera. . 
There's much ado on Voyager's Crite: 
on Collection as Laurence Olivier's 
Richard ІШ (1956) and Orson Welles’ 
Othello (1951) make their dise debuts. 
Olivier's tour de force as Richard is ripe 
with malevolence, while Welles’ revived 
Othello is greatly served by a frame-by- 
frame restoration, resynched sound and 
rerecorded score. — —GREGORY Р FAGAN 


Europa Europa (triumph af the spirit; true tale af Jewish bay 
wha survives Hitler youth carps), Yellow Earth (woman es- 
capes arranged marriage in pre-Cammunist China; direct- 
ed by Farewell My Cancubine's Chen Kaige). 


FOREIGN 


VIC GARBARINI 


THERE MUST BE something about western 
Canada that gives artists the talent to 
bridge the traditional and the innova- 
tive. First came Joni Mitchell and Neil 
Young; k.d. lang is the latest in line. Her 
soundtrack to Gus Van Sant's film of 
‘Tom Robbins’ Even Cowgirls Get the Blues 
(Sire) is the perfect vehicle for her cos- 
mic country sensibilities. Lang and long- 
time collaborator Ben Mink deliver a 
quirky, heartfelt mix of vocal and instru- 
mental tracks that sound like they're 
blaring out of some Fifties truck-stop 
jukebox. There's a handful of lang's 
lush, Patsy Clinc-style ballads that high- 
light the mating of country’s endearing 
naiveté with the sophistication of jazz. 
But she also slides a funk bottom under 
Just Keep Me Moving Even the instru- 
mental interludes are an exotic treat, 
from the keyboard sweep of Myth and as- 
tringent Balkan harmonies of Apogee to 
the country and East Indian-tinged 
goofiness of Virtual Vortex and the Kun- 
dalini Yoga Waltz. This music is weird, 
warm and wonderful. 


FAST CUTS: Tom Petty & the Heart- 
breakers, Greatest Hits (MCA): This suck- 
er refuses to leave my car stereo. Funny 
how "fom sounds more contemporary 
the further back you go into his folk- 
punk roots. American Girl and Breakdown 
are raw, trailer-trash Byrds redux. 
classic Refugee period, generously repre- 
sented here, is redneck R.E.M. The if- 
fier pop experiments with Dave Stewart 
give way to solo material such as Free 
Fallin’, which reinvigorated Petty via Jeff 
Lynne's Beatlesque touches. The two 
new tracks, a mediocre original and a 
pointless Thunderclap Newman cover, 
are disappointing, but at least they suc- 
ceed in bringing the band back to its 
roots by way of producer Rick Rubin's 
punchier, stripped-down arrangements. 
These guys are due for a second wind. 


CHARLES M. YOUNG 


I thought Blues for the Red Sun, by 
Kyuss, was one of the best metal albums 
of 1992. ГИЪе one surprised rock critic 
if their follow-up, Kyuss (Chameleon), 
isn't at or near the top of my list for 
1994. Produced by the band and by 
Chris Goss of the equally terrific Masters 
of Reality, the album has a unique 
sound, descended from Blue Cheer atits 
loudest and the Masters at their eeriest. 
This is the only metal band I know of 
that actually understates the guitar, al- 
most burying it ın cymbal wash and 
throbbing bass. It is at once heavy as lead 
and light as, well, a zeppelin. Speaking 


Lang's Cowgirls Get the Blues. 


Al Kooper reprises jazz and soul, 
lang goes to the movies 
and KRS-One raps. 


Led Zeppelin understood dy- 
mamics—the contrast of light and dark, 
solid and ethereal, tradition and person- 
al eccentricity. So docs Kyuss. Whatever 
the hell the songs are about, they take 
me light years out of myself, which is 
where it’s fun to go. 


FAST CUTS: Concrete Blonde, Mexican 
Moon (Capitol/IRS): I always sort of liked 
these guys. Now I definitely like them. 
Johnette Napolitano, who can both write 
and belt out songs, is reminiscent of 
Grace Slick in her prime. 

Mark Knopfler, Screenplaying (War- 
ner): In addition to leading Dire Straits, 
Knopfler has scored several movies with 
his haunting melodies. If you saw Cal, 
Last Exit to Brooklyn, The Princess Bride or 
Local Hero, this will be a pleasant shock 
of recognition. And if you didn't, it's still 
fascinating to hear Knopfler's gift out- 
side of rock and roll, 

Motörhead, Bastards (ZYX): Some of 
the band’s best riffs ever, and Lemmy 
Kilmister still writes the coolest lyrics in 
metal—always distrustful of illegitimate 
authority and humanely inspired even 
as he's rasping about mass murder. 


NELSON GEORGE 


KRS-One is one of the most provoca- 
tive artists to emerge from hip-hop cul- 
ture. If there’s such a thing as a human- 
ist gangster, this Bronx-bred rap artist 


fits the bill. On one hand he can argue 
articulately for global unity against op- 
pression; on the other, he can write chill- 
ingly about beating down sucker MCs. 


the harder side of KRS-One's worldview. 
Supported by some of the best produc- 
ers in rap, KRS-One attacks police on 
two cuts, Black Cop and Sound of da Police. 
On another, P Is Still Free, he returns to 
a favorite theme—the vicious acts our 
drug culture encourages. His story- 
telling ability is well displayed on Outia 
Here, an autobiographical rap about his 
early days in hip-hop. Return of the Boom 
Bap is another strong chapter in KRS- 
One’s determined career. 


FAST CUTS: Third World has been play- 
ing various forms of world music since 
its inception some 20 years ago in Ja- 
maica. The compilation Reggae Ambas- 
sadors (Chronicles/Mercury) tells its his- 
tory from early roots-rock reggae to 
international hits such as Try Jah Love 
(co-written by Stevie Wonder), Sense 
of Purpose and the dassic Now That 
We Found Love (written by Gamble 
and Huff). 

DRS (Capitol): Gangster rap meets 
R&B in DRS's single Gansta Lean. The 
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels have enjoyed 
tremendous success with their debut LP, 
also titled Gangsta Lean. They don't de- 
serve it. 


ROBERT CHRISTGAU 


No species of boxed set is more con- 
sumer-unfriendly than the multi-artist 
genre overview. These typically are 
jammed with tracks you know so well 
they have nothing lefi to tell. They juxta- 
pose individual styles that deserve their 
own showcases and are top-heavy with 
catalog from the label that released 
them. So I confronted Tougher than Tough: 
The Story of Jamaican Music (Mango) almost 
idly, as something that would go down 
easy during family time—and decided 
four CDs later that it had miraculously 
defeated all the above caveats. 

Гуе heard as much reggae as any non- 
Jamaican noncollector, yet I didn't know 
at least half these 93 songs. The collec- 
tion billows forward in a seductive flow. 
And while Island, Mango's parent com- 
pany, has been reggae's most powerful 
label, compiler Steve Barrow doesn't 
shortchange such crucial rival producers 
as Duke Reid, Coxsone Dodd, Joe Gibbs 
and Gussie Clarke. 

From My Boy Lollipop to Israelites to No 
Woman No Cry to Oh Carolina, the world 
classics are rendered more surprising by 
little-known gems such as Easy Snappin’, 
Uptown Top Ranking and Under Me Sleng 


21 


22 


FAST TRACKS 


OC K 


Christgau 


Garbarini 


METER 


k.d. lang 
Even Cowgirls Get 
the Blues 


Al Kooper 
Rekooperotion 


KRS-One 
Return of the 
Boom Bop 


Various artists 
Tougher than Tough 


10 10 


WHERE THE BUFFALO ROAM DEPARTMENT: 
With so many music and movie 
celebrities living in Montana now, an 
enterprising businessman is selling 
maps to the stars’ homes. Up the 
street can be 150 miles away. 

REELING AND ROCKING: Lowbrow 
alert: The first draft of Achy Breaky 
Heart: The Movie is making the rounds. 
Billy Ray may be interested. . . . A rock 
musical about Las Vegas showgirls is 
in the works from Joe Eszterhas and 
Paul Verhoeven, the writing and direct- 
ing team that brought Basic Instinct to 
the screen. . . . Both Bruce Springsteen 
and Neil Young have written songs for 
the soundtrack of Jonathan Demme's 
movie Philadelphia. 

INEWSBREAKS: Darryl James, the editor 
of Rap Sheet, a national hip-hop mag- 
azine, has decided to accept no ads 
featuring guns and has called on 
other hip-hop publications for sup- 
port. . . . Graham Parker is between 
recording contracts, so he’s writing a 
novel titled Hatemail. . . - Cheap Trick’s 
Rick Nielsen has published his first 
book, Guitars of the Stars, Volume I, fea- 
turing vintage, custom and unique 
guitars. It will be the first in a series, 
and you can buy it by calling 815-965- 
1991. Nielsen says, “Like PLAYBOY, it 
shouldn't be bought for the pictures 
alone.” . . . Another book, by E Street 
Band organist Danny Federici, will look 
into the glory days with the Boss. Will 
it kiss or tell? . . . Morrisey's next LP 
will be released any day now. ... The 
Joffrey Ballet did boffo business pro- 
ducing Billboards with music by Prince. 
Now it has announced a Prince 
Rogers Nelson (the Purple One's real 
name) Dance Scholarship to be 
awarded to a gifted student selected 
at nationwide auditions this year . . . 
China Kontner, daughter of Grace Slick 


and Paul, is filming a TV series with 
Henry Winkler. . . . Ministry's Al Jour- 
gensen is planning to satirize rock 
tours onstage much the same way 
Robert Altman's The Player did Holly- 
wood. Jourgensen will improvise with 
his alternate band, Revolting Cocks. . 
Pebbles had such success guiding TLC’s 
career that she is starting her own 
record label, Savvy. She hasn't aban- 
doned her recording career; a new 
LP is in the works. . . . This is the 
Who's big 3-0. One way to celebrate is 
Roger Daltrey’s All-Star Tribute to 
Pete Townshend at Carnegie Hall in 
New York. We predict it'll be a pay- 
per-view event. . . . We're intrigued by 
Rob Gordon's record label, W.A.R. Gor- 
don, who used to work for one of the 
majors, created a base of what he calls 
active fans, who spread the word lo- 
cally about their favorite bands’ LPs 
and concerts. W.A.R. is self-distrib- 
uted and is currently using the Sam- 
ples’ 15,000-fan mailing list to get out 
the word by way of record stores, ra- 
dio and news outlets. It's working, 
too. The Samples’ The Last Drag 
bowed at number one on a Billboard 
Heatseekers chart. . . . Have heart, met- 
alheads: Mötley Crie’s latest LP, "Til 
Death Do Us Part, should hit the 
record stores any day now. . . . Levon 
Helm and Robbie Robertson set aside 
personal differences to perform to- 
gether with the Bond at the Rock and 
Roll Hall of Fame awards. . . . Dr. 
John's next LP will come out at the 
same time as his autobiography, Un- 
der a Hoodoo Moon (written with Jack 
Rummell). . . . Finally, Joon Baez per- 
formed at a fund-raiser for Bread and 
Roses at Alcatraz prison, the first con- 
cert performed there. Was the ghost 
of Al Capone blowin’ in the wind? 

— BARBARA NELLIS 


‘Teng. Legends who've never come close 
to crossing over—Ken Boothe, Alton El- 
lis, U Roy, Junior Delgado—are repre- 
sented by the songs that made people re- 
vere them. The dancehall disc is a most 
varied and beguiling promo for that of- 
ten irritating subgenre. This is history. 
And this is also fun. 


FAST CUTS: The Best of Ace Records: The 
R&B Hits (Rock "n' Roll/Scotti Brothers) is 
only a New Orleans label compilation, 
but Allen Toussaint himself didn't pro- 
duce music better than Aces Huey 
Smith and Johnny Vincent, 

Black Uhuru’s Liberation: The Island An- 
thology (Chronicles/Mango) does stick to 
the second-greatest Jamaican “culture” 
group’s Island period. But it was some 
period. 


DAVE MARSH 


It'll be a cold day at the Philharmonic 
before the current generation of jazz 
snobs honors soul-jazz—the music of 
Jimmy Smith and Brother Jack McDuff, 
the instrumental side of Ray Charles and 
James Brown. But as a form of working- 
man’s pleasure, soul-jazz never wanted 
or needed black-tie respectability. It 
stems from the heyday of jazz as every- 
day entertainment, a lineage that en- 
compasses Louis Armstrong, Fatha 
Hines, 1 Bostic, Bill Doggett and 
King Curtis. Al Kooper's Rekooperation 
(Music Masters) pays homage to soul- 
jazz by working barely modernized 
changes on such organ-trio staples as 
Honky ‘Tonk, Soul ‘Twist, incorporating 
some sultry sax from former Charles 
bandleader Hank Crawford. He also 
serves up rock classics like Johnny B 
Goode and Don't Be Cruel as dessert, 
though he keeps everything instrumen- 
tal. It fits into a seamless groove, redo- 
lent of smoke-filled barrooms. Kooper 
defined rock’s soul-jazz essence with his 
organ lick on Like a Rolling Stone and ex- 
tended the concept with his Super Ses- 
sions of the late Sixties. Here, he's a lot 
more than a revivalist. 


FAST CUTS: 1 Believe I’m Gonna Make It: 
Soul of Vietnam (Risky Business): A solid 
dozen songs that outline the black expe- 
rience of Vietnam, from the mud-mired 
optimism of Joe Tex’ I Believe Im Gonna 
Make It to Martha Reeves’ bitterly home- 
bound / Should Be Proud. 

The Stanley Brothers, The Early Star- 
day/King Years: 1958-1961 (Starday/King): 
A miraculous four-CD boxed set of one 
of the greatest bluegrass groups. If you 
feel the slightest affinity for high, lone- 
some vocals and Appalachian instru- 
mental interplay, the Stanleys’ render- 
ings of traditional ballads, contemporary 
romps and hymns both ancient and mod- 
ern will chill your spine as they warm 
your heart. 


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THE MUSIC BIZ 


By PATRICK GOLDSTEIN 


PAUL MCCARTNEY dreaded the day when 
his kids would reach puberty and turn 
into rap fanatics. But the ex-Beatle said 
recently, with obvious relief, “My son, 
who is 15, is into Jimi Hendrix and a lot 
of Sixties stuff.” 

His son isn’t alone. Twenty-three years 
after Hendrix’ death, his old records— 
known in industry parlance as his back 
catalog—sell 2 million copies a year just 
in the U.S. Bob Marley's Legend compila- 
tion sells almost 15,000 copies every 
week, as do the greatest hits collections 
of Journey, James Taylor, Jimmy Buffett, 
Steve Miller and the Eagles. 

Then there’s Meat Loaf. The beefy 
rocker had been out of circulation for 
years when MCA Records took a chance 
and signed him to а new record contract. 
The label was rewarded with a surprise 
this past fall—a number-one album. 

MCA learned a valuable lesson in cata- 
log consciousness. Meat Loaf’s fans 
hadn't disappeared. They were simply 
buying his 15-year-old Bat Out of Hell, 
which sold 600,000 copies in 1992, out- 
selling recent releases by such top per- 
formers as Bon Jovi, Prince and John 
Mellencamp. 

Pop music, once completely a medium 
of the moment, is now absorbed by its 
past. Thanks 10 compact discs, young 
fans are rediscovering pop legends, 
whilc aging baby boomers restock their 
collections with their favorite artists from 
the Sixties and Seventies. 

Every major record label now has a 
department that specializes in reissuing 
catalog (best defined as any album old 
enough to have dropped off Billboard's 
top-current-album chart). Whether it's 
show tunes from Barbra Streisand or 
rockers from Aerosmith, record compa- 
nies are assembling elaborate boxed sets 
brimming with outtakes, b-sides, home 
recordings—everything a fan could want. 

“The Beatles catalog has funded Capi. 
tol for years,” says Peter Philbin, a veter- 
an artist-and-repertoire executive whose 
publishing company signs artists to a va- 
riety of labels. “Capitol knows what its 
priorities are. There were times at Christ- 
mas when wc couldn't get псу artists’ 
CDs out because the pressing plants 
were busy doing old Beatles albums.” 

Industry sources say Capitol may have 
made more than 60 percent of its in- 
come in 1992 from CD reissues. Other 
record labels have earned almost as 
much from old releases. 

“Catalog sales will probably make up 
40 percent to 45 percent of total record 
sales in 1993,” says Mike Shallett, head 
of Soundscan, the marketing research 
firm that provides sales data to Billboard 


24 for its album chart. “It gives any good 


Catalog consciousness. 


Pop culture enters 
the retro era 
via reissues. 


record company a stable profit stream. 
Warner Records, for example, knows it 
can open its doors January Ist and, even 
if it doesn’t have one hit all year, the cat- 
alog will pay the 

Collecting is popular with fans of 
every age. “We did a focus group for 
music executives in which we asked a 
group of 19-t0-21-year-olds to name the 
last record they had bought,” Shallett re- 
calls. “One 19-year-old woman said, ‘I 
got Floyd’s latest.” 

“Our moderator asked: ‘Floyd's lat- 
est?’ And she said, “Yeah, you know. Dark 
Side of the Moon.’ You should have seen 
the faces of the executives in the audi- 
ence, realizing that from her perspec- 
tive, this was a current album, when in 
fact it was 20 years old.” 

Catalog sales generate big profits at 
virtually no cost. To break an i 
new artist, a record company 
ily spend $500,000 to cover radio pro- 
motion, vidco production and tour costs. 
То sell a Hendrix boxed set, the cost 
is considerably lower. Hendrix isn't 
around to run up hotel bills, limousine 
rentals and studio costs. There’s no band 
to put on the road, no lavish photo 
shoots or press junkets. 

Catalog sales offer incredible profit 
margins, even for artists who are still 
alive. Rock manager Cliff Burnstein, 
whose stable of artists includes such 
heavyweights as Metallica and Def Lep- 
pard, recalls a recent conversation with a 
top executive at Polygram Records. 


“I said, "What i£ I told you that with no 
advertising, no promotion and no air- 
play, I could sell 1.5 million albums for 
one of your new bands. Would you get 
excited?’ And he said, ‘Sure. God knows 
how much money we would have to 
spend to sell that many albums.’ 

“And 1 told him that's what Metallica's 
old albums sell every year, without Poly- 
gram lifting a finger” 

Much of the impetus for this boom in 
catalog sales comes from compact discs, 
which prove that consumers will buy a 
record they already own, albeit one en- 
hanced by attractive new technology. 

But other factors have been at work. 
In the Sixties, most records were pur- 
chased at neighborhood department 
stores and Kmart-style mall outlets, 
where you could often find only the 
most current Grateful Dead album. Now 
most cities have record store chains such 
as Tower, Wherehouse or Musicland, 
where you can find dozens of Grateful 
Dead albums and compilations. 

In the Seventies, most major cities had 
an oldies station, but it played hit singles 
from the Fifties, when songs weren't of- 
ten collected on albums. Today old music 
is on the radio everywhere, from album- 
rock formats to classic-rock stations, 
which recently surpassed top 40 as the 
most popular radio format with active 
record buyers. 

According to Burnstein, one key to the. 
catalog boom is exposure. “We have a 
generation of artists who didn't know 
they were supposed to retire," he says. 
"So they're out playing 150 concerts a 
year, stimulating their catalog sales. Be- 
cause of dassicrock stations and the 
proliferation of record-store chains, you 
can hear an old song on the radio and 
find it instantly in a classy CD package." 

Even as catalog sales help record com- 
panies bolster their bottom lines (the 
profit margins on CDs are considerably 
higher than on cassettes or vinyl), the re- 
newed interest and availability of old 
music signals a new era in pop csthetics. 

Guns n' Roses’ new album is devoted 
to covers of punk and hard-rock songs 
from the Seventies—songs that would 
have been out of print a few years ago. 
In rap, jazz samples are the rage, largely 
because so many Blue Note-era albums 
have become available on CD. 

The gap between old and new has 
nearly disappeared. When the Doors 
were inducted into the Rock and Roll 
Hall of Fame last year, they had no trou- 
ble finding the right replacement lead 
singer for their performance at the cere- 
mony. Pearl Jam's Eddie Vedder, a 
brooding hero from a new generation, 
stood in for the dark prince of an old 
generation, Jim Morrison. Vedder knew 
all the Doors’ lyrics by heart. 


HOLLYWOOD 


By KEVIN COOK 


BEEN TO the movies lately? If so, you 
might have seen people shot, stabbed, 
burned, beheaded, impaled on icicles 
and gobbled by dinosaurs. You've met 
witches, cannibals and a funny ax mur- 
derer. You've probably bumped into 
breasts: bobbing, bathing, exotic-danc- 
ing, actor-smothering breasts. And if you 
like films that sometimes test the limits of 
the R rating, you've seen the camera slip 
south to reveal what is euphemistically 
known as frontal nudity—the catnip 
with which Sharon Stone mesmerized 
Michael Douglas in Basic Instinct. 

One thing you haven't seen much of is 
penises. They seem to be blackballed in 
Hollywood, genitalia non grata every- 
where but the ghetto of hard-core porn. 
Mainstream filmmakers shun them be- 
cause showing one usually means an 
NC-17 rating, which is box-office poison. 

But why? Nobody screams bloody 
murder at the sight of bloody murder. 
When the subject is sex, women have 
full-frontal freedom. Why should penis- 
es be circumscribed? 

Like everything else that touches 
Sharon Stone, the Movie Penis Issue 
makes news. First came reports that 
Stone’s 1993 thriller, Sliver, would fea- 
ture “on-screen male sexuality.” In Basic 
Instinct Stone had writhed on unseen 
things that may as well have been hem- 
orrhoids; now we would see what made 
her tick. Co-star William Baldwin was 
willing to do his part. Director Philip 
Noyce was eager. “I have never under- 
stood why male screen sexuality is taboo 
but female sexuality is not,” Noyce told 
the Los Angeles Times. “You can get an R 
with a shot of a fully nude female, but 
not a male. I don't think that’s right.” 

As the film's release approached, how- 
ever, its leading man shrank from the 
hype. Sliver's mystery meat wasn't his, 
Baldwin said, implying that he might 
have had a penis double. Noyce, who 
had bragged that “inch per inch of flesh, 
Billy Baldwin winds up more nude than 
Sharon Stone,” retreated. “Billy does ap- 
pear frontally nude,” he mumbled, “but 
you can't see anything because it’s dark.” 
‘The Motion Picture Association of Amer- 
ica’s ratings board, jumping at shadows, 
slapped the movie with an NC-17 any- 
way, and Noyce had to play a childish 
game of Stone, scissors, penis. He got his 
R by clipping skin until the lone offend- 
er in Sliver was a blip on a video screen. 

That's the way it goes in the movies. 
You may recall Last Tango in Paris as a hot 
date, but its only penis was a quip. 
"What's this?” Maria Schneider asks 
Marlon Brando. "Your happiness,” says 
Brando, “and my hap-penis.” In 1980 
Richard Gere appeared fully nude in 


Blackballed: the case of the missing member. 


What do John Wayne Bobbitt 
and American movies have 
in common? 


American Gigolo. Other than that, recent 
filuis have been almost peuisless. During 
a long weekend as a pro pecker check- 
er I saw fewer scenes of male nudity 
than decapitations, nude cheerleaders 
or even honest lawyers. 

The Stone connection popped up 
right away. Surprisingly, it wasn't Stone 
or Baldwin but another Sliver star, Tom 
Berenger, who made the biggest impres- 
sion. He went balls-out in the Amazon 
jungle in At Play in the Fields of the Lord, 
unveiling a private package with a 
strong rightward tilt. Berenger’s right- 
winger went uncut; the film was rated R 
thanks to what can be called the National 
Geographic factor: The MPAA ratings 
board looks kindly on jungle penises. 

An orgy scene in Scandal, a British film 
about a politician and his loins, had to be 
pruned before appearing here. The 
scandal was over one little penis in the 
background. Moral: We may heave Os- 
cars at English accents, but a British 
banger is still a sausage. 

A dead one—apparently glazed— 
earned an NC-17 for the gourmet 
British production The Cook, the Thief. 
His Wife and Her Lover. The party favor's 
preparation, or even expiration, didn't 
seem to matter to the ratings board. 

Europa Europa concerned a soldier 
who hid his circumcised penis from the 
Nazis but not from the camera. A Room 
With a View featured male front foliage 
during a frolic in the woods. Both were 
rated R, since nobody minds foreign- 


film nudity outside the bedroom. 

Then came a sudden thaw. Dil's pickle 
had a one-second cameo in The Crying 
Game and was the sensation of the year. A 
brief look at Jeremy Irons’ bobbler sold 
tickets to Damage. Bad Lieutenant starred 
Harvey Keitel and his privates. Still, 
those were independent productions. 
Hollywood blockbusters were as blink- 
ered as ever. The recent video release of 
an uncut Basic Instinct proved the rule. 
Breathlessly billed as more explicit than 
the basic Basic, the new cut was as one- 
sided as the original. There was more 
nude footage of Stone, but no more 
Michael Douglas inchage. 

As long as penised people run Holly- 


| wood, we'll be seeing more of Stonc's 
È nooks than we will of Douglas’ crannies. 


Some defenders of the cover-up call 
penises “ugly.” That's no answer. Bald- 
ing gnome Danny DeVito and Dr. Sar- 
donicus lookalike Willem Dafoe were 
not winning any beauty contests before 
they became box-office heroes. Still oth- 
er cineastes claim that women, who 
are presumably the untapped audience 
here, don’t respond well to visual stim- 
uli. But if women haven't fought for 
the right to see Mel Gibson's urethral 
weapon as well as his famous backside, 
maybe it's because they never thought 
they had a chance. 

Are actors more modest than actress- 
es? Although Gere, Irons, Keitel and 
other stars have schwung, there's still no 
pressure on actors to drop trou. Why re- 
veal more than you have to? As Brando 
reportedly muttered after hiding his 
hap-penis in Last Tango, “I didn't want 
anyone to be disappointed.” 

Covering one's groin is one of man's 
oldest defenses. It can also be pussying 
out Wouldn't a real movie tough guy 
face the world, naked but unbowed? 
Berenger’s gnarled knob nods as if to 
say, “Damn right.” Baldwin's, shivering, 
wants somebody else to go first. 

1 Вауе a friend who says that if women 
could see all the flaccid penises in locker 
rooms instead of the missiles they en- 
counter in bed, everybody might relax a 
bit. If women saw more penises at play, 
some feminists could no longer get away 
with demonizing dongs as the cattle 
prods of patriarchy, and men wouldn't 
worry so much about whether they're 
hung like King Kong or Benji. 

Could it happen? There's not yet 
much call for Baldwin's bald one or for 
shower scenes of male cheerleaders. 
Still, one strong woman could help shift 
the balance. If Stone ever takes matters 
into her own hands, refusing to show 
hers until her leading men start showing 
theirs, she might lose some screen time, 
but at least she'll add another member 
to the cast. 


25 


STYLE 


THE LEATHER LOOK 


Tired of the basic bomber jacket? Then you'll be happy to 
know that designers have come up with some sharp new looks 
in leather and suede outerwear for spring. M. Julian has tak- 
en a tailored approach, for ex- 
ample, with a beige lamb-suede 
three-button blazer that has 
picket stitching around the 
lapels ($475). There's also Free 
Country's lightweight tobacco- 
and olive-colored suede shirt 
jackets with leather elbow 
patches ($225), Andrew Marc's 
full-cut lambskin anorak, which 
has a supersoft cotton chambray 
lining ($625), and New Repub- 
lic's classic natural belted deer- 
skin peacoat ($975). Or, if you 
want to go Western, Double RL 
offers a tan buckskin jacket 
that’s fringed across the chest 
and pockets ($975). A sleeveless 
way to cut the chill of spring is 
with a leather or suede vest. 
Michael Hoban, the co-founder 
of North Beach Leather, has 
come up with the ultimate com- 


bat vest: It's made of black leather with a zipper front and 
multiple pockets ($450). Schott Bros.’ rugged steer-hide vest 


е 


has zipper closures ($160), and Avirex USA's Western-in- 
spired zip-front leather model with off-white trim (about 
$180, shown here) is right for city slickers. 


FRESH LINEN 


There was a time when even heavy starch couldn't 
keep the wrinkles out of linen. But thanks to new 
weaving techniques, laundering methods and 
fabric blends, linen garments are now among the 
most comfortable styles in menswear. At the high 

end of the scale, Alfred Dunhill offers a tradition- 

al linen suit ($925), which can be worn with its 
lightweight linen vest ($150), and Michael Kors 
blends silk and rayon into his linen suits (about $750) 
to create a relaxed look with minimal wrinkles. 
There are also linen dress shirts, such as the classic 
linen and cotton ones from Tommy Hilfiger ($55), or 
the pastel washed styles by Paul Smith ($270). In 
sportswear, Polo by Ralph Lauren has teamed his 
rolled-at-the-hem, slightly rumpled linen pants ($170) 
with a navy pinstripe jacket ($640). Industria offers 
drawstring pants (about $190) as a hip alternative to 
khakis or jeans. And to exemplify linen’s new free- 
dom, John Bartlett has given his Robinson Crusoe 
camp shirt frayed sleeves ($190). 


HOT SHOPPING: NEW ORLEANS 


Crowds as thick as gumbo flow into New Orleans during Mar- 
di Gras (February) and the Jazz Festival (usually in April), so 
March is a good month to explore the city's more unusual 


shopping haunts. 

Among them are F 

& E Botanica (801 CLOTHES LINE 

N. Broad Avenue): А Since nattily attired chat-show host 

curious store with Maury Povich likes “the big-shoul- 

potions, lotions and dered look that Tim Robbins had in 
The Player,” he affects 
a similar stance in 


thousands of spiritu- 

al articles, induding 

air sprays named suits by Alexander Ju- 
lian, Harve Bernard 

and Yves St. Laurent. 


after saints. ® Circ 

deVille (2038 Maga- 
Then, to offset his 
conservative on-air 


zine Street): Wild 
apparel, he dons 


hats for men, wom- 
flowery ties and Bal- 


en and children 
made of everything 
ly loafers because 
“lace-up shoes make 


from antique fabrics 
me think I'm going to 


to auto parts. e 
a funeral.” А zero- 


Boomerang (1128 
Decatur Street): Hip- 
hop, skateboard and handicap golfer who 
heavy-metal threads ASES the part, 
for the young ап Povich admits he wears the same 
the restless. е The thing to work every day: a Bobby 
Louisiana Music Jones shirt, a Polo sweater, black 

Reeboks and corduroy slacks over 

one of his ten dozen pairs of A Cur- 


Factory (225 N. Pe- 
ters): A top record 
rent Afiair boxer shorts. 


shop with a great 
selection of Ca 
jun, blues and 
gospel tunes. ® Palm Court Jazz Cafe (1204 Decatur 
Street): Relax with some of the best food and 
sounds to be found in the Big Easy. 


LOUNGE ACTS 


Those worn-out college sweats may be fine for 
pickup games or walking the dog, but when you're 
hanging out at home with friends, we suggest wear- 
ing something equally comfortable but infinitely 
more stylish. Robert Stock's “jam set,” which in- 
cludes a two-tone sand-washed silk hooded top 

($31) and contrasting drawstring shorts ($19), is a 
great example. So are underwear king Calvin 
Klein's knit button-fly pants ($25) and matching 
Henley Tshirts ($23), which come in a range of 
colors, including natural, black and olive. To up 
the color ante, try Joe Boxer's striped and dotted silk 
pajamas ($85) and matching robe ($85), or TSE Cash- 
mere’s silk and cashmere sweatsuit (about $690), which 
comes in 15 colors. Warning: Stylish loungewear has 
one drawback. You have to keep her from stealing it. 


M E T E R 


Relaxed through the seot ond thighs with с 


shorter rise 


OUT 


Oversized hip-hop styles or 
onything too tight 


Five pockets; stroight legs with o slight flore 
stovepipes ond boot cuts 


below the kne: 


Sond-washed for o vintoge look; 
digos 


medium-ton: 


Overblown contrast stitching; extro-wide bell 
bottoms; intentionally shredded 


Bright surfer colors; overly bleached 
blue and stark white 


Where & How fo Buy on poge 149. 


3 


H 
i 


NIGHTLIFE 


By DEAN KUIPERS 


HOW TWISTED is the kink in your radical 
chic? Nude go-go girls in cages are only 
a warm-up act compared with the fea- 
ture attractions being offered in West 
Coast dance clubs. The fresh DJ culture 
that brought you hip-hop and rap, deep 
house and rayes, techno and industrial 
still packs the dance clubs. But hard-core 
freaks keep digging for the most intense 
dance floor vibe—the heaviest attitude 
and most sexualized free-for-all. Right 
on cue, S&M acts and bondage fetishes 
have slithered into the straight dance 
clubs, and the distinctions between 
dance hall and sex-club dungeon are 
blurring. 
e 


A harvest moon hangs fat and warm 
over the rooftop bar of a San Francisco 
club called Oasis, soaking up the last 
shreds of September summer. Inside it’s 
jammed with the regular Thursday- 
night gathering, when Oasis transmog- 
rifies into Temple and lures a Gothic 
doom-and-gloom crowd. The music is a 
swath of moody punishment, everything 
from Dead Can Dance to Nine Inch 
Nails to old Gary Numan to Throbbing 
Gristle. The clubbers themselves are a 
mixed lot: morose young men in Alice 
Cooper face paint; vampire seductresses 
who wear Victorian corsets, high-cut 
bodysuits and vinyl thigh-high boots; 
motorcycle boys in black leather; 
sters in jeans and T-shirts. 

But one threesome is particularly con- 
spicuous: They look as if they just came 
from an office dinner party. He's in his 
405 and sports a light suit. There are two 
women with him, and the one in the red 
dress boogies awkwardly in her heels. I 
overhear a woman in an Elvira dress say 
that the three look really out of place, 
and 1 have to agree. 

Weren't we in for a surprise. 

Twenty minutes later I am in a back- 
room bar watching a wiry transvestite 
named Bridget, who stands almost sev- 
en feet tall, tangle with a dominatrix 
named Mistress Ilsa. The woman in the 
red dress worships at their feet. 

When Mistress Ilsa finishes working 
on Bridget, she turns her attention to 
the compliant woman in the red dress, 
while the suit looks on with delight. The 
back bar is suddenly jammed with about 
60 dancers moving to the pounding 
beat, enjoying a little voyeuristic taste for 
their club dollar. 

None of the clubbers fall down and 
start screwing or anything—at least not 
tonight—but the eroticism spills onto the 
dance floor. The possibility arises that 
something might happen to you. 

Scenes such as these are usually closet- 


A voyeuristic taste for your club dollar. 


Bondage-a-Go-Go: 
no pain, 
no gain. 


ed in private sex dubs or a dominatrix’ 
playroom, and are more common in gay 
clubs, with their legacy of public sex. But 
the crowd at Oasis is, I suspect, largely 
straight. This dance club is in your face: 
What do you need to get off? 

A Wednesday-night club in San Fran- 
cisco called Bondage-au-Go-Go—where 
incredible stage dancers lead the crowd 
with a ritualistic fervor—moves beyond 
this voyeuristic thrill to create an entire- 
ly new club atmosphere: overtly sexual 
and even frightening. 

Last summer, the place ran into some 
trouble with the law after a patron got a 
little carried away with audience partici- 
pation. While I didn't see anything too 
dramatic or disturbing on the foggy 
night I visited the club, I was haunted by 
the dancers. The crowd was thin, and 
two leggy women in vinyl bodysuits had 
been dancing and writhing in mock sex- 
ual ecstasy for a few hours. At midnight a 
dancer named Dan took the stage clad in 
only a leather G-string and a 16-foot 
Burmese python named Sinner. He 
started dancing and jerking his Iggy Pop 
body across the stage, the snake running 
over him like muscled water. The two 
women joined him. Soon all four—man, 
women and python—fell onto a leather 
couch in a sexual knot, kissing and 
fondling one another, hands slipping in- 
side leather and vinyl. 

‘Just as the necking reached a climax 
and one of the dancers fell bare-breasted 
out of her top, the DJ announced last 


song. I watched everybody snap out of 
their sex trances. This is, after all, a 
dance club. Not a strip bar, not a live sex 
act, not a controlled atmosphere where 
you pay $20 to have a woman grind on 
your lap under an understood set of 
rules. Here the entire room is the act. 

With the erotica, the music and the 
dance crowd, a spectacle was achieved 
that might not be possible in a sex club. 
It's still a show, but it’s also a public par- 
ticipation ritual, and the potential is 
there for acts far beyond the hands-off 
routines you see in strip bars. 

S&M and bondage-and-domination 
clubs have been around for decades, but 
these new dance clubs are drastically dif- 
ferent from any sex or cruising scene. 
They are packed with young club 
kids who just want to get turned on 
and dance, or show off their other- 
wise too-radical threads in the intense 
atmosphere. 

At Los Angeles’ Sin-a-Matic, a Satur- 
day-night club at 7969 Santa Monica Bou- 
levard, dancing is primary. On the night 
1 was there the music was a dense house 
mix that turned the night into a seam- 
less, sweat-soaked rave. The three rooms 
were full, and the mirrors dripped con- 
densation. One guy wore a G-string that 
showed a big gold ring through his scro- 
tum. He dished out some light whip 
abuse in the back room, and it gave the 
club a certain edgy energy. 

While one long-haired rocker bared 
his back, electricity spread through the 
club. Scores of people rushed into the 
room, crushing right up close, talking 
and drinking, yelling encouragement to 
the smiling lad. The fascination with the 
pain was obvious—part freak show, part 
friends experimenting on friends, part 
genuine erotica. Clubbers feel both en- 
tertained and sexed up, and in the other 
room is the body's solution: Dance it off. 

‘At Temple in San Francisco I saw a 
beautiful young woman have her tongue 
pierced. Other people were branded 
(yes, with hot irons, just like in a cor- 
ral) and had their nipples pierced, but 
the woman with the new stud through 
her tongue stood out. Her leg quivered 
as Vaughn from Body Manipulations 
worked the needle. She was scared, and 
so were the rest of us. But she danced 
away the pain afterward, so the act be- 
came ritualistic. Blood first, then frenzy. 

‘That brought the entire scene into fo- 
cus for me. Young city dwellers are 
scratching for new urban rituals, build- 
ing their tribe and intensifying the club 
experience. You're forced to ask your- 
self: Why do you dance, what do you cel- 
ebrate when you dance, and just how 
real do you want it to be? 


27 


WIRED 


BANK AT HOME 


Master Card and its partner, Checkfree, 
plan to bring electronic banking home 
by turning your telephone, computer 
and TV into “automated teller machines 
ofthe future.” The service, called Master 
Banking, is being made available to cus- 
tomers of Master Card's 24,000-plus 
financial institutions worldwide. For 
about five dollars a month, you can pay 
bills, review balances, transfer funds be- 
tween accounts and even apply for auto 
loans or mortgages—all without writing 
a single check. In 

addition, Mas- 
ter Banking 
will pro- 


vide records 
of your account ac- 
tivity, update your credit card balances 
and offer a pie-chart analysis of your 
spending. All of these functions have 
been designed with future technologies 
in mind. Interactive-TV subscribers, for 
example, are expected to be key users, 
as are the owners of screen phones (com- 
puterized telephones with mini moni- 
tors. which will be available soon from 
companies such as Philips and AT&T). 
And, yes, computer users can Master 
Bank, too. In fact, Chemical Bank al- 
ready has some of its customers on-line 
and future PCs and laptops will be sold 
with Master Banking software installed. 
Now, if only they could find a way to 
make your LV cough up instant cash. 


LISTEN UP 


Voice recognition technology, which al- 
lows you to operate a product simply by 
speaking to it, is being incorporated into 
a growing number of electronic devices. 
Last year, for example, Voice Powered 
Technology came out with a $100 re- 
mote control called VCR Voice that pro- 
grams your video recorder by using ver- 


28 Ба! commands. Now that same company 


has introduced the Voice Organizer, a 
$200 hand-held gadget that stores dic- 
tated memos, appointments and phone 
numbers and recalls them in your own 
voice. There's also Blaupunkts VRU-1 
($499), a speech recognition device that 
controls all of the company’s cellular 
phones. And other products that will 
soon listen—and act—indude television 
sets (Goldstar is releasing a voice-recog- 
nition TV in Korea this year that should 
hit the States in 1995), navigation sys- 
tems (Sanyo is working on one) and 
appliances, including toasters, coffee- 
makers and home security systems (all 
under development at VPT). 


CALORIE-FREE VENDING 


You won't find any Snickers, Ding Dongs 
or Planters nuts in the new vending ma- 
chines from Sims Communications. 
These “automated communications dis- 
tribution centers," as Sims calls them, 
hold portable cellular phones, called In- 
stafones, that you can rent for up to ten 
days. Currently stationed in airports, 
rental car agencies, hotels and conven- 
tion centers nationwide, the vending 
machines look like giant cellular phones 
with ATM-like video display terminals. 
To rent a phone kit—which consists of a 


Murata phone, a car adapter, two ex- 
tended-life batteries and a charger—you 
simply insert a major credit card and 


await approval. When that happens, you 
can grab your phone and go—you'll be 
billed $6.95 a day for the kit, plus be- 
tween $1.60 to $2 a minute per call. Up- 
on return of the phone, Sims will pro- 
vide a detailed bill and receipt. Later this 
year, it plans to offer vending machines 
with laptop computers and devices such 
as the Apple Newton. 


— EE _ 


New car audio components from Pioneer, called the Optical Digital 
Reference System, use fiber-optic cables ond other impressive tech- 
nology to create an acoustic environment in your auto that's on a 
par with a live performance. The cornerstone of the fully digital 
ODR system is the RS-K1 cossette/tuner/multi-CD controller 
(51400, shown here), а computerized unit that replaces the but- 
fons and knobs of traditional car stereos with a liquid crystal dis- 
play and a remote control. With the remote you can issue а va- 
riety of commands, which are then visually confirmed on the 
LCD panel. е Atari's Jaguar, the 64-bit cortridge-bosed video 
game system that was lounched in November 1993 ($249), 
will soon hove а 32-bit CD game companion. The unnamed 
system will cost about $200 and will play audio CDs, interac- 
tive digcs and full-motion-video movies on CD. e To find out 
whet effect President Clinton's tox law changes will have on 
your IRS tab, check out Chipsoft's Turbotax Tox Planner for 
IBM-compatible and Mocintosh computers. In addition to 
odjusting up to the new 39.6 percent rate for guys who are 
really in the chips, the $30 program will help you access 
your tax liability for real estate transactions, investments and 
retirement, and it provides tax forecasting through 1997. 


Where & How to Buy on poge 149. 


The 1955 Ford 
lá) Crown Victoria 


Shown smaller than. 
actual size of 8%” in length. 


Photos depict the incredibly detailed replica — not the actual car. 


A Meticulously E 


of One of America's Greatest Cars. 


The Ford Crown Victoria burst upon 
the automotive scene in 1955 with all 
the glamour and elegance of a great 
movie star. Customers loved the 
Crown Victoria’s stylish front end 
which boasted chrome “brows" over 
the headlights, a sporty “egg crate” 
grille and a glistening, wrap-around 
chrome bumper. Even more sensa- 
tional was the broad band of chrome 
that rakishly wrapped itself around 
the roof— supporting a unique 
optional Plexiglas top. 

This beautiful car had the power ta 
match its good looks. Under the hood 
was a 292 cubic inch V-8 engine that 
produced 198 hp. Inside, the uphol- 


Both doors open smoothly, as do the 


hood and trunk. The front wheels turn with the 


stery and fittings coordinated perfectly 
with the two-tone exterior colors. The 
1955 Ford Crown Victoria is among. 
the most coveted of all Ford cars from 
the 1950's. Now, you can acquire a 
remarkably detailed replica of this 
Fifties classic. 

Meticulously crafted; 

hand-assembled! 

Over 150 scale parts go into making 
this authentic replica in the large 
1:24 scale. All the important compo- 
nents— the body, chassis, drivetrain 
and engine block — аге crafted іп 
metal and polished by hand before 
painting. Every single component is 
inspected before this replica is assem- 
bled by hand. 


Replica shown smaller than actual size. 


steering wheel. The replica Plexiglas roof panel is authentically tinted. 


The Ford Crown Victoria trademarks are used under license from Ford Motor Company 


© 1993 MBI 


Attractively priced. 
To order this extraordinary replica, send 
no money now. Simply return the Reser- 
vation Application. The price of $94.50 is 
payable in three monthly installments of 
$31.50, with satisfaction guaranteed. Mail 
your reservation today! 
‘The Danbury Mint + 47 Richards Avenue e Norwalk, CT 06857 
— — — RESERVATION APPLICATION — 


The 1955 Ford Crown Victoria 


The Danbury Mint Send 
47 Richards Avenue J по money 
Norwalk, CT 06857 now. 


Please accept my Reservation Application for the 
1955 Ford Crown Victoria. | need send no money 
now. I will pay for my replica in three monthly 
installments of $ 31.50% 

My satisfaction is guaranteed. If | am not com 
pletely satisfied with my replica, | may return it 
within 30 days for replacement or refund. 

Plus any applicable sales tax and 1 SOshipping and handing per installment. 


Name 

ттен рат сен! 
City 
State Zip. 


Signature 


Отуз RETE aan 


Name to print on certificate of ownership 
(if different from above). 
‘Allow 410 8 weeks er nil payment for shipment 


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| Address 
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| l5bFPYl 
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By DIGBY DIEHL 


IFA YOUNG South American novelist had 
written Brazil (Knopf), it would be hailed 
as an impressive fulfillment of his or her 
literary heritage. But for 61-year-old 
John Updike from Shillington, Pennsyl- 
vania to have written this phantas- 
magoric opus, which embraces the heart 
and history of Brazil, is nothing less than 
an astonishing act of imagination. 

Updike gives us a sensual story with 
vividly sexual scenes and lush, musical, 
multilayered images of Brazilian life. He 
begins on a Copacabana beach, where 
Tristäo, a poor black 19-year-old from 
the favela—the hillside slums that over- 
look Rio—picks up Isabel, the beautiful 
white 18-year-old daughter of a lo- 
mat. After he tenderly initiates his virgin 
lover into womanhood and they pledge 
their devotion to each other, they em- 
bark on a journey through life together. 

First, the lovers run away to São 
Paulo, where Tristão hopes to find work 
in the Volkswagen factory with the help 
of his brother, Chiquinho. Instead, 
Chiquinho betrays them to Isabel’s fa- 
ther, Salomão, who sends two thugs: one 
to take Isabel back to her father's home 
in Brasilia, and one to watch Tristao. 
The couple suffers a two-year separa- 
tion, until Tristao snatches Isabel out of 
the University of Brasilia and they run 
away again—this time to the gold mines. 
There, Tristäo spends years digging and 
is eventually rewarded by finding the 
biggest and purest gold nugget ever un- 
earthed in the mining area of Serra do 
Buraco. Of course, the subsequent pub- 
licity brings a visit from one of Salomáo's 
thugs. In a struggle, Tristäo kills the 
gunman, and then escapes with Isabel 
into the Mato Grosso, only to be cap- 
tured by religious fanatics. 

As if Updike had not already dared 
enough, at this point he springs a 
breathtaking surprise: Isabel goes to an 
Indian shaman to help her free her en- 
slaved lover with magic. Indeed, after Is- 
abel has her entire body painted with 
black dye, she returns to the camp of 
the bandeirantes to find that, magically, 
Tristáo has turned white and has been 
freed. Their roles transposed, they re- 
turn to civilization as a white husband 
and a black wife. 

Updike has brought Tristram and 
Isolde to Brazil to retell their story in the 
South American literary tradition of 
magical realism. He has mixed politics 
and myth, violence and poetry, rich and 
poor, black and white. Despite its brevity, 
Brazil has the sweep of an epic. 

Three other outstanding works of 
fiction have recently arrived on book- 
store shelves. John Hersey's last collec- 

30 tion of short stories, Key West Tales 


Updike's sensual Brazil. 


Dazzling Updike, stories 
from Rick Bass and baseball 
in a Chicago housing project. 


(Knopf), is a posthumous gift of grace- 
fully connected sketches and portraits 
that are а pleasing testimony of Herscy's 
love for that unique island at the south- 
ern tip of the United States. Rick Bass, 
heir to the clean, spare style of Heming- 
way, has a collection of three novellas, 
Platte River (Houghton Mifflin). Each of 
the stories has a different rhythm. I par- 
ticularly like Field Events, about a huge 
young man who falls in love and learns 
to throw the discus at the same time. 
And Louise Erdrich, who writes better 
about the lives of contemporary Ameri- 
can Indians than anyone else, has an- 
other lyrical novel, The Bingo Palace (Har- 
perCollins), about Chippewa in North 
Dakota. 

Another touching, troubling book 
about Chicago's projects—one that 
echoes the harsh truths of Alex Kot- 
lowitz There Are No Children Here—is 
Hardball: A Season in the Projects (Put- 
nam’s), by Daniel Coyle. It is the 
thoughtful, observant notes of a journal- 
ist who volunteers to help coach a Little 
League baseball team in Cabrini-Green, 
a tough project on Chicago's Near North 
Side. Coyle enters the lives of the 14 kids 
who play on the First Chicago Near 
North Kikuyus team and comes to know 
them in their homes as well as on the 
field. As the Kikuyus struggle all the way 
to the championship game, the experi- 
ence of baseball lifts them, changes 
them, gives them a world of satisfaction 
beyond the violence and poverty that 


surrounds them. Hardball is a wonderful 
book about kids surviving the worst our 
society can throw at them—and about 
the redemptive power of baseball 
Satchel Paige knew about the redemp- 
tive power of baseball decades before 
these kids were born. As the first black 
man to pitch in the World Series and the 
first Negro National League star to enter 
the Baseball Hall of Fame, Paige was a 
legendary athlete. But as Mark Ribowsky 
documents in his fascinating biography, 
Don't Look Back: Satchel Paige in the Shadows 
of Baseball (Simon & Schuster), he was a 
legendary character and phrasemaker, 
too. Upon his induction into the Hall 


i of Fame, Satch quipped: “Baseball has 


turned Paige from a second-class citizen 
to a second-class immortal.” 

For connoisseurs of crime fiction, a 
few recommendations: In Head Lock 
(Pocket), by Jerome Doolittle, private in- 
vestigator Tom Bethany takes a personal 
interest in the abortion controversy 
when his already married friend turns 
up pregnant—by him. In his tenth out- 
ing, A Very Private Pilot (Morrow), William 
Е Buckley, Jx's patriotic superspy Black- 
ford Oakes finds himself in a rather Ollie 
North-like jam—facing Congress to an- 
swer for decisions he made as director of 
covert operations for the GIA. And for 
those who didn't get enough of the 
amazing Prizzi crime family in Prizzi’s 
Glory, Priza's Family and Prizzi’s Honor, 
now comes another, the hilarious Prizxi's 
Money (Crown), by Richard Condon, in 
which the family is relieved of more than 
a billion dollars when a lady they try to 
double-cross fights back 


BOOK BAG 


Networking in the Music Industry (Rock- 
press), by Jim Clevo and Eric Olsen: 
How to make contacts in the music biz. 
Must-read chapters: “Schmoozatorium” 
and “Who's Beating the Tribal Drum?” 

Damn Right I’ve Got the Blues: Buddy Guy 
and the Blues Roots of Rock and Roll (Wood- 
ford Press), by Donald E. Wilcock, with 
Buddy Guy: “Buddy Guy is the last one- 
of-a-kind he-man of the blues, a muscle- 
man of the guitar heroes,” says Eric 
Clapton in a biography that proves it. 

Domesticity: A Gastronomic Interpretation 
of Love (Charles Scribner's Sons), by Bob 
Shacochis: A literary and culinary feast 
from the author of Swimming in the Vol- 
cano makes this chronicle of a 17-year 
love affair a perfect romantic gift. 

The Literary Companion to Sex (Random 
House), collected by Fiona Pitt-Kethley: 
An anthology of erotic prose and poet- 
ry from ancient times through the 20th 


century. 
El 


FITNESS SMARTS 


By JON KRAKAUER 


DOWN AT THE gym you're shooting hoops 
with the usual suspects. You execute a 
brilliant head fake, launch a perfect 
jump shot over the chump who's de- 
fending you—and watch in disbelief as 
the ball clangs off the front of the rim 
like a bird hitting a plate-glass window. 
Adding injury to insult, you land off bal- 
ance, coming down hard on the side of 
your left foot. A white-hot flash of pain 
surges up your leg. Your vision blurs. 
You have sprained your ankle. 

What you do about it over the next 
few hours may well determine whether a 
weck hence you'll still be hobbling 
around on crutches or dribbling full tilt 
down the floor to toss up another brick. 
The key, say athletic trainers and ortho- 
pedists, is prompt treatment with one of 
the most remarkable therapies available 
to 20th century medicine. It’s called 
frozen water, otherwise known as ice. 
No, it isn’t high-tech, but it works. 

On the face of it, because cold con- 
stricts the body's vascular plumbing and 
impedes the local flow of blood neces- 
sary for the repair of damaged flesh, 
packing ice around an injured ankle 
may seem to be a bad idea. Logic would 
suggest the use of heat, which enhances 
circulation and speeds up the metabolic 
process, Logic, however, would lead you 
scriously astray, Heat has a place in the 
treatment of injuries, but only much lat- 
er in the rehabilitative process. Ice is 
called for, and the sooner the better. 

Not long ago a study was undertaken 
of 19 athletes with severe ankle sprains. 
Those who received ice treatments with- 
in 36 hours of the injury were able to re- 
sume normal activity in an average of 
13.2 days. Those who waited more than 
36 hours to ice their ankles were hors de 
combat for an average of 30.4 days. The 
unfortunates who were treated with heat 
instead of ice took 33.3 days to heal. Sim- 
ply put, icing a torn muscle or sprained 
joint—if you act quickly enough—is like- 
ly to cut recovery time in half. 

When you sprain an ankle, not only 
do you mangle the web of fibrous white 
gristle that holds the joint together— 
your ligaments—but you rupture blood 
vessels as well, severing the supply of 
oxygen to tissues in the vicinity of the in- 
jury. If it's a bad sprain, the joint will al- 
so fill with lymphatic fluid, swelling like 
an overstuffed sausage. putting the 
squeeze on even undamaged blood ves- 
sels and further impeding circulation to 
the ankle. Swelling can suffocate thou- 
sands upon thousands of cells that 
weren't harmed in the least by the initial 
trauma, a phenomenon known as sec- 
ondary hypoxic injury. 

Kenneth L. Knight, head of athletic 


Cold comfort. 


Ice therapy: 
the best way to 
treat injuries. 


training at Indiana State University, 
wrote the book on ice, a slim blue tome 
ütled Cryotherapy: Theory, Technique and 
Physiology. According to Knight, ice 
treatments not only reduce destructive 
swelling but also slow the metabolism of 
the injured area, putting tissues into a 
“state of hibernation.” Ice, Knight ex- 
plains, “buys time until blood vessels are 
repaired and circulation can resume.” 
The cold doesn't actually heal anything: 
it simply keeps a lid on secondary tissue 
damage so less healing has to occur. 

Ice has proved to be effective in treat- 
ing a wide range of ailments, including 
sprained ligaments, bruises, muscle 
spasms, chronic tendinitis, cold sores 
and even a side effect of cancer chemo- 
therapy. But for ice therapy to work, the 
cold must penetrate deep into the in- 
jured tissue, and that doesn’t happen 
quickly. Applying ice for a mere four or 
five minutes at a crack, insists Knight, “is 
pretty much a waste of time.” Most doc- 
tors recommend that you elevate the 
hurting joint, then wrap an ice pack 
round it with an elastic bandage for a full 
20 to 40 minutes every two hours for the 
first 48 hours following the injury. 

Don't go overboard, though: With ice, 
as with so much in life, you can have too 
much of a good thing. If you ice for 
longer than 40 uninterruped minutes, 
you run the risk of experiencing a nasty 
little side effect known as “nerve pal- 
sy'—a mysterious, temporary paralysis 
of the appendage being iced that can last 


anywhere from hours to months. 

And what about the days and weeks to 
come, after the swelling has been con- 
trolled? Since healing depends on good 
circulation, might it be time to forgo the 
ice pack in favor of some heat? Many 
sports medicine practitioners say yes, 
but Knight strongly disagrees. He rec- 
ommends still more ice, now alternating 
the cold packs with sessions of sensibly 
moderate exercise. Begin with gentle 
range-of-motion exercises, then gradu- 
ally work your way up to full activity. 

Although heat docs indeed increase 
the flow of blood to the site of an injury, 
thereby hastening the repair of dam- 
aged tissue, Knight points out that ex- 
ercise boosts circulation more—much 
more. And ice does a magnificent job of 
alleviating residual aches and pains, 
Knight says, enabling you to start exer- 
cising both sooner and harder. 

Hippocrates sang the praises of ice as 
an analgesic back in the fourth century 
в.с. In 1818, Baron Dominique-Jean 
Larrey, chief surgeon to Napoléon, anes- 
thetized patients on the Russian front 
with nothing but snow before amputat- 
ing their limbs. Nobody disputes that 
cold is an effective painkiller, though 
Knight concedes that explaining how 
cold alleviates pain “is difficult. In fact, 
explaining pain itself is difficult.” 

One hypothesis holds that cold re- 
lieves pain by counterirritation: In the 
so-called gate control theory, sensory im- 
pulses that communicate cold reach the 
spinal column more quickly than those 
which communicate pain. If the cold is 
intense, the cold impulses will clog the 
nervous system with a neuroelectrical 
traffic jam. Monopolizing all the spinal 
column’s ports of entry, they block the 
slower pain impulses from getting in. 

Cold's effectiveness as a counterirri- 
tant was probed as long ago as 1945 in a 
memorable experiment that could have 
been lifted from a Roger Corman movie. 
Human test subjects (who we can only 
hope were extremely well paid) had the 
fillings in their teeth “electrically stimu- 
lated” to determine their tolerance for 
pain. Ethyl chloride—a chemical spray 
that freezes skin on contact—was then 
applied to the legs of the subjects for 20 
seconds, whereupon their fillings were 
again goosed repeatedly with electric 
current. For two hours following a single 
freeze treatment, the researchers discov- 
ered, considerably more juice was need- 
ed to make the subjects writhe in agony. 

So the next time you tweak an ankle 
or irritate a tendon, take heart: If cold 
can put a dent in the sort of torture de- 
scribed above, just think what it will do 
for your paltry aches and pains. 


31 


32 


MEN 


resident Clinton's approval rating 

has been in the vicinity of 50 per- 
cent for some time now, and with good 
reason. His foreign policy appears rid- 
dled with indecision and his domestic 
priorities seem blurred. 

He has forged alliances with parts of 
the feminist lobby in America, but many 
men view Bill Clinton with suspicion. 
They see him as a fast-talking policy 
wonk who believes that government has 
the solutions to all our problems 

Consequently, gentlemen, we have 
two choices: We can sit around and do 
nothing while we take masochistic plea- 
sure in seeing President Clinton get 
bashed, or we can forge an alliance with 
a president who is in trouble and urge 
him to consider men's rights and fathers’ 
rights as a meaningful part of the na- 
tion's political agenda. 

President Clinton needs help, and he 
is a man we might be able to work with. 
After all, he is a father (as is Vice Presi- 
dent Gore). He has regular guys as 
friends. He plays golf, jogs and jokes 
around. No matter how much Bill Clin- 
ton tries to please the women in his life, 
he is still one of us. 

I did not vote for Clinton, but after 
watching the president survive Rush 
Limbaugh's mockery and Ross Perot's 
opposition and the media's cynicism, I 
have come to the conclusion that he is 
a tough and practical man. He is no 
wussy. Clinton has absorbed a lot of 
cheap hits and has persevered, and I ad- 
mire his stamina and smarts. 

I have some proof that the president 
might be interested in reaching out to 
men. This past October, a small group of 
us visited the White House to talk to a 
Clinton administration official about fa- 
thers’ rights and family issues. And while 
that may not seem like a big deal, it was a 
significant first step. Up to that point, 
the testimony of fathers had been mostly 
ignored by the White House. 

‘The meeting was the brainchild of Bill 
Harrington from Tacoma, Washington 
A former political consultant and veter- 
an of what he calls “trench politics,” Har- 
rington spent most of the Eighties as a 
salvage-logging contractor. The question 
of fathers’ rights came into his life in 
1987, when he had to fight for joint cus- 
tody of his son and daughter (he eventu- 
ally got it). 

“That's when I became aware that we 


By ASA BABER 


A FOOT 
IN THE DOOR 


need a fathers’ rights movement,” Har- 
rington said when he called to invite me 
to the meeting in Washington, D.C. “Itis 
time for fathers to get political. 

“When Bill Clinton was campaigning 
for the presidency, I wrote him a letter. 
“You always knock deadbeat dads,’ I 
said, ‘but you never say anything posi- 
tive about the millions of responsible fa- 
thers in this country. Why is that?” 

“After Clinton was elected,” Harring- 
ton continued, “I sent him ten letters 
about fathers and welfare reform, joint 
custody, all those issues. Finally, I sent 
one with copies to Vice President Gore, 
David Gergen, George Stephanopoulos 
and William Galston (the president's 
deputy assistant for domestic policy). Be- 
lieve it or not, Galston called me a short 
time later and asked when I wanted to 
meet.” 

Atthat point, Harrington called sever- 
al other men who had been active in the 
field of fathers’ rights and asked them to 
join him at the White House. On Octo- 
ber 7, 1993, in room 180 of the Old Ex- 
ecutive Office Building (and later on the 
steps by the west wing of the White 
House), 15 members of Bill Harring- 
ton's newly formed American Fathers 
Coalition talked with Galston about the 
role of fathers in our culture. 

I am happy to report that Galston 


treated us with respect. He came to the 
meeting alone, listened to every man 
speak and shared his thoughts with us. 

The men who were at that meeting 
are experienced in fathers’ rights work. 
They believe there is no greater threat to 
the health and survival of our culture 
than the disappearance of the father 
from the family. Members of the group 
included James A. Cook (of the Joint 
Custody Association in Los Angeles), 
who spoke of the need to establish joint 
custody as law. Robert D. Arenstein (of 
the American Academy of Matrimonial 
Lawyers in New York) talked of the 
problems fathers face when their chil- 
dren are abducted. Dick Woods (Fathers 
for Equal Rights in Des Moines, Iowa) 
addressed the need to enforce equal par- 
enting time in custody situations. Mur- 
ray Steinberg (Family Resolution Coun- 
cil of Richmond, Virginia) discussed the 
advantages of mediation in child custody 
disputes. 

“There are 19 million kids in the U.S. 
who don't have day-to-day contact with 
their fathers,” Harrington said in a press 
conference after the meeting. “Absent- 
father syndrome is driving all enude- 
ments, and we want it recognized as a 
major social problem that contributes to 
crime.” 

What I saw as I walked the corridors 
of power in Washington, D.C. was that a 
truly effective fathers’ rights movement 
does not yet exist in this country. In- 
deed, most of the people I talked to 
seemed to be wary of the idea. “You can 
talk about children's rights and mothers" 
rights,” a congressional staffer said to 
me, “but it is politically incorrect to say 
you represent fathers.” 

There is no full-time professional lob- 
byist on Capitol Hill who follows legisla- 
tion from the father’s point of view. But 
if the recently created American Fathers 
Coalition gets organized and financed, 
that much-needed change just might 
happen. 

“You will be back,” Galston said to us 
as we finished our meeting. I felt that 
this might mark the beginning of a good 
relationship between the Clinton admin- 
istration and the many people who are 
working for fathers’ rights. We һауе our 
collective foot in the door, and it is there 


to stay. 
[y] 


WOMEN 


h, God, my tits hurt so bad,” 

said Kitty, She was dressed slick- 
chic but looked wan and frazzled. 
“Weaning a baby is the end of the world. 
I want to die.” She put her head on my 
shoulder. “I feel like something scraped 
off the bottom of a shoe.” 

Jane, swathed in Armani, tsk-tsked 
smugly. She herself had just become 
pregnant and she was irradiated with 
her secret. 

“Don't wean,” I said to Kitty. “If it 
hurts that much it’s too quick and too 
early. Leave it fora couple months.” Kit- 
ty's eyes filled with tears, maybe of joy. 

“Easy for you to say, you had only 
one,” said Sarah. “The second time, 
you're ready to wean ten minutes after 
your milk comes in.” 

“Don't you hate it when the milk 
comes in so quickly that you suddenly 
have two rocks on your chest?” said Va- 
lerie, who had been silent until now. 

We were at an official girls’ night out, 
and I couldn't figure out what I was do- 
ing there. 

You too may have noticed the constant 
features in “women’s pages” of newspa- 
pers about the groovy new phenomenon. 
of girls’ night out. How everybody who's 
anybody is eschewing men for one night 
a month, when they all get together and, 
I guess, let their hair down. How liberat- 
ing and refreshing it is not to have stu- 
pid guys around belching and farting 
and talking football. How wonderful it is 
to bond with other females, to be able to 
speak out on any topic you want to with- 
out those judgmental, masculine scowls. 

I find the whole notion profoundly 
depressing. It's so very ladies-protest- 
ing-too-much. The general tone, and 
the women quoted, in these articles 
sound so upbeat, perky and utterly des- 
perate. “Oh, no,” the women say, “we 
don't need men, we can be perfectly 
happy with just one another” Which, 
decoded, means “Get me a boyfriend be- 
fore I go out of my mind.” or, if you have 
опе, “Lay a finger on my man and ГИ 
break your leg.” 

To make such a fuss of girls’ night out, 
to use words like “just one another,” 
means there is an ugly subtext going on, 
a depraved presupposition that men are 
the superior sex. That women have to 
use all kinds of special props and pep 
talks to define themselves without men. 


By CYNTHIA HEIMEL 


GIRLS’ NIGHT OUT: 
WHY? 


Not that I had actually been to one or 
anything. I figured it would be just like 
when you see women watching male 
strippers (that I've done once, OK?) and 
they clap and carry on and act the way 
they think men act, the way men watch- 
ing strippers in movies act. Actual men 
watching actual strippers just sit there 
quietly with hard-ons. They do not squeal. 

Women are still, or are again, very 
male-centered. They still ape their op- 
pressors. They still feel deeply unsafe 
and disoriented when engaged in a non- 
male-sanctioned activity. 

Plus, I had been to the original girls" 
night out, thank you. We called them 
consciousness-raising groups. They were 
the greatest mind-altering experience 
a woman could have. Much better 
than mescaline. A consciousness-raising 
group in the early Seventies was an 
evening of unconditional support punc- 
tuated by searing insights. We ate fon- 
due and realized we didn't have to be a 
servant class if we didn't want to. It was 
liberating. Once we were talking about 
masturbation and—no, never mind, it’s 
still none of your business. Suffice it to 
say it could not be anything like this 
Nineties version. 

But I went anyway. It was not at all 
what I expected. Except for the outfits. 
We were all glamourous, impeccably so- 


phisticated visions. For men we just try 
to look skinnier so they won't think we 
have enormous butts or anything. For 
women we pull out all the stops because, 
let's face it, is a guy going to know that 
the black velvet number with the stand- 
ing boat neckline and taffeta frills around 
the hem is actually a work of art? Men 
don't even know what clothes are called. 
They think everything that isn’t pants is 
a dress, for God's sake. I personally got 
up four times to twirl around the room 
to be admired by my eagle-eyed peers. 
But there were no single women on 
the prowl while pretending not to be. In- 
stead I found myself in a group of tired 


. women who were trying to be supportive 


companions to their men, nurturing 
mothers and successful career women. 
Married women. 

Married women are most in need of 
girls’ night out. Tell a husband you're 
going to dinner with women friends and 
either he just assumes he's invited or 
sulks because what the hell is he sup- 
posed to eat? But tell him you're going 
to girls’ night out and he gets a fond, 
condescending gleam in his eye. A hus- 
band assumes just what Га assumed, 
that it's really about them. 

We talked politics, art, gossip. We ar- 
gued about whether Kitty should wean 
or not. We stuffed ourselves with bread 
and wine and many of us put our heads 
down on the table for a little nap. Men 
were somehow not mentioned. 

At first I felt all pompous. I am an in- 
dependent woman, and all my nights are 
girls’ nights out, even if there are guys 
around. We never bothered labeling it. 
It was a way of life, and a mighty good 
опе at that. 

Then 1 went wistful. Was this indepen- 
dence I had carved for myself really 
mighty good? Wasn't I just sublimating 
with freedom and career my real needs 
for a husband and child? Wait a minute, 
I have a child. A husband then? Was I 
Jealous? 

No, I wasn't. Everyone has an alba- 
tross round her neck. And as the 
evening progressed and we got more 
and more relaxed (i.e., plastered), those 
feelings of warm and supportive sister- 
hood rose up within us and we started 
carousing. It can still happen, even in 
the Nineties. 

El 


33 


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Tama 30-year-old male who enjoys 
wearing women's panties. I have done 
this on occasion for six years. I like the 
way they look, and I get a thrill out of 
doing something forbidden. I consider 
myself normal in most other ways, and I 
am heterosexual. I lift weights and do 
guy things the rest of the time. Am I nor- 
mal?—R. D., Alexandria, Virginia. 

Who's to say what's normal? The only la- 
bels you should worry about are the ones in 
your clothes. The majority of cross-dressers 
consider themselves heterosexual, and nearly 
half wear women’s clothing only at home. 
Since you don't mention whether you must 
wear panties to become sexually aroused, nor 
do you seem too bothered by your fondness for 
lingerie, we say curl up with a Victoria’s Se- 
cret catalog and knock yourself out. 


What is the best way to wash athletic 
shoes? Is it OK to throw them in the 
washing machine?—D. B., Sacramento, 
California. 

For hand washing your shoes (canvas, ny- 
Поп or leather), use a soft cloth, mild soap 
(leather cleaner or saddle soap for leather 
shoes) and cold water, Air dry, Canvas and 
nylon shoes can also be cleaned in the wash- 
ing machine, on the gentle cycle, again using 
mild soap and cold water. Leather shoes 
should never be immersed in water: 


V have been married for 12 years. This 
summer I began having an affair—with 
another woman. She works with my hus- 
band and she is a close friend of ours. We 
have gone to the beach together—most 
of the time with my husband, but some- 
times not. A few weeks ago I went back 
to her apartment for a beer. She came 
over to me, slipped off the robe she had 
changed into and started to untie the top 
to my bikini. I was stunned, but I let her 
take off my top, and then my bottoms. 
We went into the bedroom and spent a 
couple hours having sex. After I got over 
the initial shock it became very passion- 
ate. Since then, we've had another ses- 
sion, and that was also torrid. I told her 
I felt we should stop. She said forget it, 
and suggested including my husband for 
a threesome. I asked him, in а non- 
specific way, what he thought about hav- 
ing sex with two women. He said it was 
every man's fantasy. Should we go for 
it?—C_ R, Raleigh, North Carolina. 

Sure. But don’t set him up. First, see how 
your husband handles the news that you 
have a new lover. Will he be surprised? An- 
y? Clear the air or your ménage à trois 
could turn into trouble, 


1 find adult movies exciting and arous- 
ing. 1 think they can be a good addition 
to foreplay once in a while. My wife, 


however, doesn't like to watch with me. 
She feels that two people who are in love 
should not need outside arousal. How 
can I relate my desire to watch these 
movies together and still respect her 
feelings? —K. K., Springfield, Illinois. 

If two people who are truly in love need no 
outside stimuli, there would be no books, 
movies, restaurants, health clubs, florists, 
lingerie shops or, God forbid, Fabio posters. 
In our view, adult films aren't much differ- 
ent. We are all for heightening arousal with- 
in a loving relationship (the two don't neces- 
sarily go hand in hand). But your situation 
is not about arousal or love—it’s about con- 
trol. One of the most damaging relics of old- 
fashioned romance is thal one partner holds 
а monopoly on turn-ons. Strong couples сап 
take risks. 


М, fiancée and I have decided on a 
somewhat untraditional wedding. She 
will ask three women and a man to stand 
for her, and I will ask three men and a 
woman to stand for me. My best female 
friend, next to my fiancée, is a former 
girlfriend. Our relationship has been 
platonic for years. But naturally my fian- 
cée still views her as competition, though 
she likes her. If I ask someone else, I 
will please my bride but will be untrue 
to myself. I will also hurt the feelings 
of the woman, because she is my best 
friend and knows it—R. R., Seattle, 
Washington. 

Wedding arrangemenis sometimes have 
more impact than international treaties. You 
should honor your fiancée’s feelings above all 
others’, especially on your wedding day. This 
is, after all, supposed to be her day (which is 
why bridal registries always contain neat 
girl stuff and never useful gifts like stereo 


ILLUSTRATION BY PATER SATO 


components or power tools). We understand 
how you feel about your friend, but don't 
push il if you want a happy marriage. 


I have collected more than 500 CDs and 
have damaged more than one. What 
causes a CD to skip? Once a CD is 
scratched, is there any way to repair 
it?—A. C., Denver, Colorado. 

CDs often skip because of scratches and 
dirt on the surface. If your CD is scratched 
on the label side, no big deal. A scratch on 
the reflective side means the disc is probably 
ruined, If the disc is simply dirty it can be 
cleaned, and there are several disc-repair 
and disc-maintenance hits on the market. A 
CD might also skip because of a misaligned 
CD player or because it is poorly made or 
warped or has a hole that isn’t centered. To 
Jeep your discs in great shape, never touch 
their surfaces, and store them in their jewel 
boxes. If you minimize exposure to dirt, dust 
and fumes from cigarettes and cooking, your 
CDs shouldn't require cleaning. 


What is the effect of secondhand mari- 
juana smoke? I have a friend who 
smokes pot around me occasionally. I 
have no personal aversion to it, but Гат 
in the process of becoming a police 
officer and wonder if the secondhand 
smoke could show up in a urine test. 
Should I avoid my friend when he 
smokes, or am 1 worrying for nothing?— 
L. K., Rochester, New York. 

According to officials at the National Insti- 
tute on Drug Abuse, breathing your friend's 
secondhand pot smoke won't show up in your 
urine test, But if you have to make an effort to 
avoid friends who do drugs, you might con- 
sider a career other than law enforcement. 


On a recent trip to the Caribbean I 
tried dark rum. Delicious. I'd like to ex- 
periment with different mixes. Do you 
have any favorites?—]. L, Wayne, New 
Jersey. 

Dark rum and orange juice with a dash of 
grenadine is quite popular. A rum sidecar 
contains dark rum, Cointreau and lemon or 
lime juice. A rum manhattan is anejo rum, 
Italian vermouth and a dash of orange bit- 
ters. Or try a rum-and-gin cocktail: I ounce 
тит, a half-ounce of gin and half a teaspoon 
of lemon juice. 


Bim away on business a lot and am 
thinking about buying a vibrator for my 
wife to use when I can't be with her. Is 
there a difference between a vibrator in- 
duced orgasm and one produced by 
manual masturbation?—D. B., Philadel- 
phia, Pennsylvania. 

The main difference between using a vi- 
bralor to masturbate and using your hand is 


that the vibrator moves faster and has more 35 


PLAYBOY 


36 


endurance. It won't change the ways and 
places your wife likes to be stimulated. Only 
she and you know where those are. Be aware 
that the vibrator orgasm is reported to be 
much more intense, Furthermore, women 
who have never had more than one orgasm 
per session are often able to have several 
more with a vibrator. However, orgasm usu- 
айу happens in a much shorter time, some- 
times in a minute or less, so your wife won't 
be enjoying the all-night stimulation that you 
could provide, 


WI, wife purchased season tickets to a 
dinner theater. The price of the ticket in- 
cludes a buffet dinner with the server 
providing only the drinks and dessert 
service (water glasses and pitcher are al- 
ready on the table). Do I base a tip on 
the price of the dinner and show (with or 
without drinks or dessert)? If we use the 
buffet line and drink water, do we not tip 
at all because our server was available 
but did not provide any service?—D. G., 
Edwardsville, Kansas. 

Leave at least 15 percent of the estimated 
price of the dinner if your service is courte- 
ous and prompt. Even though the buffet is 
self-serve, someone has to handle the prepar- 
lions, restock the food and clean up af- 
terward. Waiters serve, but they also stand 
and wait. 


Еке recently met two young married 
women at work. Both have flirted with 
me in semiprivate circumstances, but are 
businesslike in front of others. In fact, 
the more suggestive of the two is more 
impersonal in public. Because of their 
behavior, I'm assuming that cach is open 
to an affair. It seems logical to invite сі- 
ther one to my apartment at lunchtime, 
but I don’t want to be crude or make 
them feel cheap. How should I approach 
this?—B. A., Columbia, Maryland. 

Gee, two women who haven't read a word 
about sexual harassment, unwanted sexual 
innuendo or the power of harmless flirlation 
in the workplace. Maybe they're just flirting 
to keep in practice. They may not be aware of 
the mixed messages they are sending, espe- 
cially to a single man like you. Why don't you 
discreetly ask them: “Are you flirting with me 
because you think it's safe, or are you inter- 
ested in watching me make a fool of myself?” 
You'll know soon enough whether they mean 
business. On the other hand, learn what you 
can about flirting, and find a more avail- 
able woman. 


Ё nced help choosing а tuxedo. What is 
proper this year? Should dinner jackets 
be white or off вне? —E. M., Manches- 
ter, Missouri. 

Current styles are double-breasted tuxedo 
jackets with shawl collars, elegant vests and 
‘pleated, full-cut pants. White jackets are 
generally only worn in warm weather, but 
you may be able to get away with an ivory 
wool jacket, à la Humphrey Bogart in 
“Casablanca,” all year. If you're buying in- 


stead of renting, traditional black is a better 
investment. 


Wehen my wife gets her period, she 
goes off-duty sexually, The women I 
slept with before I got married enjoyed 
sex while they were menstruating. Plus, 
with the warmth and the moisture, it 
feels great for me. She spends six days а 
month being miserable. I know she'd en- 
joy intercourse at least once during her 
period. How can I get her to give іп?-- 
L. D., Sherman Oaks, California. 

Keep in mind that although it is highly 
unlikely that she will get pregnant during 
menstruation, it is possible. So use protec- 
tion. If she’s worried about the mess, you can 
always do it in the shower or pul a towel un- 
derneath you. Many women enjoy inter- 
course during their period because orgasm 
can often help relieve menstrual cramps. If 
she still refuses lo give in, remind yourself 
that you don’t have to have intercourse to 
have sex. 9 


И recently gave birth, and I find it 
difficult to climax when having sex with 
my husband. The only way I've been 
able to is by running to the shower after 
sex and using a massaging shower head. 
‘This way, I've been able to have an or- 
gasm in five minutes or quicker, but my 
husband feels left out. What can I do?— 
E. D., Fresno, California. 

The solution is pretty clear: Have sex in 
the shower. No reason why your husband 
can't enjoy Mr. Shower Head as well. 


Нер! rm experiencing vaginal dry- 
ness and I'm only 33. Could this be pre- 
mature menopause?—C. M., New York, 
New York. 

We doubt it, but see your gynecologist. The 
vaginal dryness associated with menopause 
rarely bothers healthy women until their late 
40s. Did you start taking the pill? Engage in 
strenuous athletics? Both can cause dryness. 
Try a vaginal moisturizer. Are you experienc- 
ing pain during intercourse? Try using a 
water-soluble lubricant. Consider making 
love more often. Studies show that the more 
sexual stimulation a woman receives, the 
more moisture her vagina produces. 


ІМ, wife and I enhance our lovemak- 
ing with scented candles and music from 
a little stereo we keep in our bedroom. 
Recently, our six-year-old son has been 
asking what they're all for. What should 
we tell him?—J. G., Reston, Virginia. 

You could scare the bejesus out of him by 
saying that in the event of nuclear attack, 
this is what you've stocked in the fallout shel- 
ter. Ox, tell him matier-of factly that you en- 
joy candlelight and music when you make 
love. Linda Perlin Alperstein, an assistant 
clinical professor in the department of psy- 
chiatry at the University of California’s San 
Francisco Medical Center, suggests the fol- 
lowing for older children: “Ask, What do you 
think making love is?’ Show your children 


that you're open to discussing sex, then an- 
эшет their questions in an age-appropriate 
manner.” For a six-year-old, Alperstein says 
you might explain that lovemaking is some- 
thing grown-ups do when they feel a special 
love for each other. It involves kissing and 
hugging and touching for a long time. The 
hey is to encourage them to ask questions. 
When they do, answer them simply, frankly 
and comforiably. Remember, not discussing 
sex sends as powerful a message as dis- 
cussing it—that sex is unmentionable. It’s 
OK to let your children know that sex is not 
always easy to talk about. 


ve heard the market for collectible cars 
has dropped to a three-year low. Is this a 
good time to consider buying that old 
sports car or Fifties classic? —K. E, Wash- 
ington, D.C. 

Collector-car values are still down. That's 
especially true of Italian exotics, Jaguar road- 
sters, guil-wing Mercedes-Benzes and big- 
block Corvettes. Blame the lingering recession, 
a faltering economy and reaction to the highly 
inflated prices we saw in 1988 and 1989. 
There's little likelihood that old-car prices will 
soon return to those heady levels. Most people 
who purchased high-dollar cars in those halcy- 
on days can't “afford” to sell them, bul in 
cases where a buyer must unload his trea- 
sure, there are bargains to be had. To ensure 
you aren't taken to the cleaners, carefully 
check current values with sources like “Cars 
of Particular Interest,” “Hemmings Motor 
News” or “The duPont Registry.” Insist on 
seeing a clear title and all service or restora- 
tion records, and if you aren't familiar with 
a particular model, have a knowledgeable 
person inspect it for originality and authen- 
ticity. Don't fall in love with a car that may 
need more restoration than it’s currently 
worth. The best way to learn about a specific 
model is to join the car club for that make. A 
complete club listing can be found іп “Нет- 
mings Vintage Auto Almanac” ($9.95, call 
802-442-3101). 


Whenever my spouse and 1 argue, she 
feels bad for days. Literally, she gets sick. 
Is she faking?—G. H., Chicago, Illinois. 

Her body may be reacting to emotional 
stress. Research has shown that arguing 
weakens the immune system. The greater the 
hostility (marked by sarcasm, interruptions 
and criticism), the steeper the drop in white 
blood cells. Tifjs tend to affect women more 
than men, but both suffer. Learn to argue 
constructively. 


АШ reasonable questions—from fashion, 
food and drink, stereo and sports cars lo dat- 
ing problems, taste and etiquette—unll be 
personally answered if the writer includes a 
stamped, self-addressed envelope. Send all 
letters to The Playboy Advisor, PLAYBOY, 680 
North Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, Illinois 
60611. The most provocative, pertinent 
queries will be presented on these pages 
each month, 

El 


THE PLAYBOY FORUM 


а second look at porn and aggression 


For years social scientists have tried 
to gauge the effect of porn on men's 
behavior, You have probably read 
some of their conclusions in newspa- 
per editorials or on fliers from an- 
tiporn ministers, or heard them in di- 
atribes by feminist law professors, or 
in pompous speeches from politicians 
considering new antiporn legislation. 
In short, the finely hedged message 
seems to be that certain types of porn 
increase the chance of aggressive be- 
havior toward women. 

Social science in this case seems to 
blend seamlessly with political sci- 
ence. When expert testimony 
from social scientists favors pre- 
vailing social wisdom, it’s cited 
and applauded. When it goes 
against the prevailing social con- 
sciousness, it's ignored. 

The experiments that seek to 
prove that all men are potential 
rapists, beasts who can turn vio- 
lent at the glimpse of a woman 
being treated violently, have 
always troubled us. Now we 
know why. 

William Fisher, a psychologist 
at the University of Western 
Ontario, reviewed a previous 
experiment and discovered a 
serious flaw. 

Fisher followed the structure 
of the original experiment, 
which can be viewed as a bad 
three-act play. 

Act one: A male college stu- 
dent enters a lab, where he 
meets a female “teacher.” The 
student writes an essay or per- 
forms a task; the woman gives him six 
to nine powerful electric shocks, sup- 
posedly to help him learn. In some 
experiments, the woman adds insult 
to injury by asking derisively, “How 
did you ever get into this university? 
or commenting within earshot, “If 1 
had to choose between a bed of nails 
and this guy, I'm not sure which 1 
would choose as the brighter,” 

Act two: A social scientist has the 
student watch either a neutral film, 
nonviolent porn or some slimy con- 
coction that shows a woman being 
raped violently (and apparently en- 
joying it). 


Act three: The student sits at a ma- 
chine and is ordered to question the 
same woman who pissed him off in 
act one. When she answers a question 
incorrectly, the student must give her 
an electric shock. By fiddling with a 
dial, the student can change the level 
of the shock. 

In the original experiment, men 
who saw violent porn administered a 
higher level of shock to the woman 
than men who watched nonviolent 
erotica. To us the experiment proved 
one thing: If a person in a white lab 
coat tells you to do something, adding 


that it will help you learn, you'll do it. 
The experiment seems more about 
authority than about sex 

Obedience to authority, no matter 
what personal morality dictates, is 
a phenomenon psychologist Stanley 
Milgram documented in the Sixties. 
His experiments showed that people 
who were not normally cruel were 
quite capable of inflicting pain if told 
to do so by someone in authority. In 
following Milgram's research, other 
researchers found that people of both 
sexes were willing to administer 
shocks when they had nothing to gain 
or lose by refusing, even when the de- 


cision was left up to them. So if there 
is blame to lay, it is with the individ- 
ual, not with the stimuli. 

But that is not what the public 
wants to hear about pornography. 
And so, says Fisher, “the social scien- 
tists just said, ‘In laboratory studies, 
exposure to pornography causes теп. 
to be physically aggressive against 
women.” 

Fisher re-created the experiment 
with one vital difference: “I sat the 
guys in front of the shock generator. 
At this point in the original expe 
ment—and this is the killer issue— 

the guys had no choice. I asked 
myself, What if they could just 
walk away? What if they could 
talk to the woman?” 

Fisher gave 14 men the 
choice to leave. Twelve did. Real 
men don't put up with bullshit 
experiments. 

Were the two others rapists? 
No, says Fisher. “One of them 
was a computer hacker, sort ofa 
computer hobbyist; the other 
was a ham radio operator. They 
were mechanically inclined 
Both saw the shock generator 
before the experiment and said, 
‘Can't wait to use it." 

Real men leave. Maybe be- 
cause the woman pissed them 
off or tried to fry their balls or 
because in the face of insult, 
they calculated that there was 
litle chance of getting laid. 
Maybe they just went some- 
where to masturbate. As for the 
techno-dwecbs? Boys love toys. 

On a talk show devoted to bias in 
social science research, Fisher de- 
scribed another approach to this ex- 
periment: “Say we were to run exper- 
iments in which a woman received 
massive exposure to soap operas and 
was then told to press a button that 
would result ina man somewhere be- 
ing nagged. If we wrote this up, say- 
ing that soap Operas cause women 
to nag men, we would justifiably be 
laughed at. But because the artificial 
experimentation of the original study 
dovetailed with prevailing wisdom 
about ‘Men: Threat or Menace,’ it got 
wide play in the literature.” 


38 


PUBLIC DEFENDERS 

Many of us working in the le- 
gal system did not appreciate 
the flippancy of “Bill O' Rights 
Lite,” by John Perry Barlow 
(The Playboy Forum, Septem- 
ber). Specifically, I'm referring 
to Barlow's sixth amendment, 
which states, “the accused is en- 
titled to the assistance of under- 
paid and indifferent counsel.” 
I am not sure about the un- 
derpaid part, but in 20 years 
of prosecuting and defending 
countless cases involving indi- 
gent felons, I can't recall seeing 
indifferent counsel. Many peo- 
ple can't afford an attorney, so 
their life depends on court-ap- 
pointed counsel. You can imag- 
ine how your statement might 
affect the psyche of someone in 
that situation. In the future, 
perhaps Forum could focus on 


the public defenders who vehe- T 


mently, courageously and at a 
sacrifice to themselves give life 
to the real amendments that 
Barlow parodied. 
Neil W. Simonson 
Hayfield, Minnesota 


THE RAPE OF TRUTH 

I was disappointed that Ted 
Fishman (“The Rape of Truth," 
The Playboy Forum, December) 
diluted an otherwise well-writ- 
ten commentary on Catharine 
MacKinnon’s pathetic distor- 
tion of the inhuman behavior 
of Serbian ground forces. His 
backhanded attack on libertari- 
ans added nothing to the analy- 
sis and demonstrated a clear 
lack of understanding of the 
libertarian philosophy. Any de- 
cent human being is repulsed 
by the rape and murder of 
women and infants in Bosnia, and no 
serious student of that bloody conflict 
could believe that dirty magazines hid- 
den under a soldiers mattress have 
anything to do with crimes against hu- 
manity. On the other hand, none of the 
above has anything to do with what lib- 
ertarians believe. Grouping us with 
Marxists and followers of Lyndon 
LaRouche demonstrates an ignorance 
of the basic tenets of libertarianism. We 
do not “seek to explain everything 
from the Holocaust to job discrimina- 
tion.” We strongly believe in individual 


“Her statements are utterly stupid, totally ir- 
responsible and unfounded. What porn compa- 
ny does she work for? It sounds like Clinton and 
Company. What she’s saying sounds like some- 
thing out of the Gay and Lesbian Task Force.” 

— REVEREND DONALD WILDMON, PRESIDENT OF THE 

AMERICAN FAMILY ASSOCIATION, RESPONDING TO 


GEBBIES COMMENTS 


freedom and respect for individual 
rights. As libertarians, we believe that 
the documents upon which our nation 
was founded, including the Bill of 
Rights, are more than historical cu- 
riosities. They are binding contracts. 
And yes, we concede that even igno- 
rant demagogues like MacKinnon have 
a right to spew forth absurd theories. 
In short, an article that was an other- 
wise thoughtful rebuttal of an absurd 
contention on the part of MacKinnon 
was cheapened by an uninformed 
swipe at a philosophy that seems to be 


WE CULTURE WARS, CONTINUED 


“Talking about sex in terms of don't and dis- 
ease is not working. Americans must start view- 
ing sex as an essentially important and pleasur- 
able thing. Until we do, we will continue to be a 
repressed, Victorian society that misrepresents 
information, denies sexuality early, denies ho- 
mosexual sexuality—particularly in teens—and 
leaves people abandoned with no place to go." 

—KRISTINE GEBBIE, PRESIDENT CLINTON'S AIDS CZAR 


entirely in keeping with The 
Playboy Philosophy. 
Charles B. Wagoner 
Abita Springs, Louisiana 


Three cheers for Ted Fish- 
man. His piece on MacKin- 
поп co-option of the Serbian 
atrocities articulates something 
I've felt for some time: MacKin- 
non et al. seem willing to use 
anybody and anything to fur- 
ther а political agenda—re- 
gardless of the human toll. It's 
hard to fathom how people 
who say they're trying to help 
others are so willing to trivialize 
the real emotions and lives of 
those they profess to help. In- 
stead of organizing food drives, 
antiwar campaigns or medical 
supply donations, they are more 
interested in debating the theo- 
ry of conflict at arm's length. Is 
it because their theories break 
down when confronted with re- 
ality? Either way, Fishman is 
right on in his analysis of 
MacKinnon's absurdity. A few 
centuries ago she would have 
said, “Let them eat words.” 

Victor Leviathan 
Dallas, Texas 


SELF SERVE 

Geoffrey Norman's “Big 
Nanny Is Watching You" (The 
Playboy Forum, November) was 
on target as far as it went, but 
he barely grazed a more funda- 
mental issue: Our society must 
stop picking up the tab for 
those who cannot control them- 
selves. Our government be- 
came a nanny because, as a so- 
ciety, we chose to abandon 
personal responsibility and 
supplant it with collective re- 
sponsibility. Behaviors once tolerated 
as vices pursued by personal choice are 
now labeled as illnesses over which the 
ill have no control, and for which soci- 
ety is to blame. Therefore, society 
should foot the bill, Our government 
wouldn't need to save us from our- 
selves if we simply allowed the cost of 
self-destruction and stupidity to be 
borne by the self-destructive and the 
stupid. Government should not be a 
nanny; neither should it be a giant 
insurance company that continues to 
underwrite unreasonable risks. Let 


people pursue whatever course in life 
they choose. Just don’t ask me to pay 
for the ticket. 

Adam С. Korbitz 
Madison, Wisconsin 


1 don't know which rock you found 
Peter McWilliams under, but you 
should have left him there (“Ain't No- 
body's Business,” The Playboy Forum, 
September). People who subscribe to 
the idea "If you can't beat ‘em, join 
“еш” fail to look past their own imme- 
diate lusts and desires to the long-term 
consequences of their actions. It 
doesn’t take a brain surgeon to realize 
that prolonged drug abuse causes 
physical and psychological problems, 
that frequenting prostitutes may ex- 
pose you to HIV, that legal gambling 
can leave you broke and that illegal 
gambling can leave you dead. But 
McWilliams’ theory is “Go ahead, have 
fun. When your brain is fried, your 
body is wracked with various diseases 
and you're too broke to afford medical 
insurance (that’s supposing you could 
find a company tu insure you), dont 
worry, society will take care of you, 
right?" Wrong. If some people don't 
want to conform to society's rules, why 
should they be taken care of when 
they're no longer functioning mem- 


bers of that society? “That's not to say 
that when people can no longer func- 
tion they should be abandoned. If 
someone contributes to society, then 
that person should reap the benefits. If 
some people are concerned only with 
themselves, why should the rest of us 
pick up the tab for their short-sighted- 
ness? Unfortunately, the bleeding- 
heart liberals are in charge of the purse 
strings and we're forced to pay for the 
welfare of the Peter McWilliamses of 
the world. 

William L. Moreno 

Paramount, California 

The assumption that consensual acts will 

lead you down the road of no return is 
morally rutted and specious. Self-determina- 
tion does not negate self-control. 


STARS AND GRIPES 

As another “military man who knows 
the real attitudes of the servicemen,” 
I feel a need to add my voice to J. R. 
jenia's ("Reader Response,” ` The 
Playboy Forum, November), who states 
that we “do not advocate or endorse 
the lifting of the ban on homosexuals 
in the military” Hugh Hefner's re- 
marks of September 1964 are interest- 
ing but beside the point. It’s not fair 
that the wealthy and powerful create 
laws that do not affect them, but which 


marks the epidemic thot still 
ravages the world. Full of 
health Information and illus- 
trated with the work of 
renowned огііѕїѕ, the calen- 
dar is available at local 
booksellers. Check it out. 


govern those of us who are less fortu- 
nate. If a serviceman advocates homo- 
sexuality I will respect his opinion, 
however much I disagree with it, be- 
cause he wears the uniform I wear and 
shares the burdens 1 bear and, as part 
of our military family, deserves a say in 
how we keep our house. I don’t know if 
Hef was ever a soldier, but until Bill 
Clinton is willing to move into the bar- 
racks and tents with me, he doesn't de- 
serve any say about how I live or who 1 
live with. 

William Vaughan 

Fort Huachuca, Arizona 


SALUTE 

For the second year in a row, the 
ACLU presented its Arts Censors of the 
Year award to a group of worthy recip- 
ients. While the awardees span the po- 
litical spectrum, they share an intoler- 
ance for expression they consider 
offensive. This year's recipients include 
regulars Senator Jesse Helms and the 
Federal Communications Commission. 
New gag rulers honored are the city of 
Shreveport, Louisiana, which canceled 
heavy-metal band Society of the 
Damned's concert in a city park; the 
Meridian, Idaho school district, which 
has censored everything from student 
newspapers to a song about recycling: 


39 


40 


WELL ENDOWED 


In а natural extension of 
Hugh М. Hefner's unfailing 
support of civil liberties and 
freedom of expression, the 
University of Southern Cali- 
fornia's School of Cinema- 
‘Television is the recipient of a 
$100,000 gift. The money, 
from the Hugh M. Hefner En- 
dowment for First Amend- 
ment Rights in honor of 
Arthur Knight, will establish a 
lecture series and course on 
censorship in cinema. The en- 
dowment is a thematic descen- 
dant of rLarsov’s popular Sex 
іп Cinema series, which Knight, 
a film critic and former Uni- 
versity of Southern California 
historian and professor, intro- 
duced in 1969. 

The endowment formally 
ties together three players with 
distinguished histories of de- 
fending free speech. Arthur 
Knight was an advocate of 
First Amendment freedoms 
and spoke frequently about 
the importance of civil liber- 
ties. USC has had a long- 
standing interest in film and 
video projects dealing with so- 
cial issues, and Hef's interest 
in censorship and civil liberties 
has been reflected in the pages 
of this magazine for four 
decades. 

‘The USC endowment is yet 
another step in making sure 
the First Amendment stays 
alive and well. 


READER RESPONSE 


(continued) 


Mayor Tom Fink of Anchorage, Alas- 
ka, who crusaded against the arts in 
Anchorage by attacking works that 
violated his political ideology; Con- 
cerned Women for America, East 
Tennessee Chapter, whose member 
Kathy Hollifield held 18 library books 
hostage, most dealing with sex educa- 
tion for teens; and the student editor- 
ial board of the Michigan Journal of 
Gender and Law, which dismantled an 
art exhibit on the grounds that one 
video contained pornography. Sounds 
like Helms might have some competi- 
tion for a spot on the World’s Mast Re- 
pressive Home Video show. 

Jackie Sommers 

Boston, Massachusetts 


ANIMAL HOUSE 
The male population at Antioch 
University must consist of eunuchs. 
The gauntlet has been thrown down 
and they have done nothing. The 
campus feminists who set up the 
mandatory-response system wish to 
punish men for perceived sexual ha- 
rassment. This is unconstitutional 
and illegal. Even if consent is given 
under intimate circumstances, it still 
ends up being one person's word 
against the other's. Now, the first 
question a man should ask a woman is 
whether he may use a tape recorder. 
Martin Cable 
Turner, Oregon 


BUDDY SYSTEM 

In light of the most recent Su- 
preme Court sexual harassment rul- 
ing, which makes winning a sexual 
harassment lawsuit easier, I'd like to 
know how men and women are sup- 
posed to establish meaningful busi- 
ness relationships if the threat of liti- 
gation is always present. I am sick of 
hearing storics about women too in- 
timidated by touchy-feely co-workers 
to stand up for themselves, or at least 
to deliver a swift kick to the groin. 
When did women revert to relying on 
father figures (the courts, the govern- 
ment) to protect their virtue? If you 
can't deflect a tasteless jerk at the 
copier, what qualifies you for the cor- 
ner office? Women complain about 
the glass ceiling that separates them 
from executive-level appointments. 
The issue of sexual harassment, with 
its attendant muck and mire, is mak- 

ing that glass ceiling more opaque. 

Terrie Whitman 

Boston, Massachusetts 
No question, the suits are gun-shy. Fran 


Sepler, a consultant on sexual harassment, 
reports that record numbers of men no 
longer invite female colleagues, especially 
subordinates, to lunch. Their reasoning— 
why beg trouble? This means women are 
excluded from the kind of invaluable men- 
toring done under those quasi-social cir- 
cumstances. How important are those ses- 
sions? Ask the guy in the corner office. 


The women who attended the Liti- 
gation Strategies workshop described 
in Stephanie Gutmann’s “Whining 
for Dollars” (The Playboy Forum, No- 
vember) must have danced in the 
streets at the recent Supreme Court 
ruling on sexual harassment claims. 
The excessive, manipulative strate- 
gies encouraged in that workshop are 
no longer necessary, and the notion 
of women “going from harm to harm 
to harm” is given credence by our ju- 
dicial system. How prescient the com- 
ment of the lawyer who stated, “No 
matter how attenuated your ratio- 
nale, in a few years it will seem like it 
has always been the law.” 

Sam Stryker 
Cincinnati, Ohio 


My suspicion that we were slipping 
back into the Dark Ages was con- 
firmed when I read that a man was 
found guilty of breach of promise 
when he changed his mind about get- 
ting married. A jury of one woman 
and seven men awarded nearly 
$200,000 to the woman who claimed 
pain and suffering, loss of income 
and a need for psychiatric counseling 
as a result of her fiancé's change of 
heart. The jury took no note of the 
fact that the couple had been togeth- 
er for only two months when the 
woman proposed. Neither did they 
seem to take into account her three 
divorces, failed job opportunities, 
bankruptcy and therapy. The fact 
that the jury was predominately male 
galled me even more, because it 
proved how intimidated men are 
nowadays. It's bad enough that we 
exist in a social climate in which men 
are presumed guilty in cases of sexu- 
al harassment and date rape. Now it 
seems we're at fault for being true to 
our emotions, too. 

Colby Preston 

San Francisco, California 


We want to hear your point of view. 
Send questions, information, opinions and 
quirky stuff to: The Playboy Forum Read- 
er Response, PLAYBOY, 680 North Lake 
Shore Drive, Chicago, Illinois 60611. Fax 
number: 312-951-2939. 


N E М 


S LES В 


ON TT 


what's happening in the sexual and social arenas 


ENLARGED GLANS 


OLYMPIA, WASHINGTON—A State correc- 
tions officer thought he would titillate his 
wife with a Mother's Day card that includ- 
ed a photocopied Polaroid of his penis in 


full glory. His thoughtfulness nearly cost 
him his job when a female co-worker found 
the photo he'd forgotten in the copy ma- 
chine and freaked out. The offender's boss 
maintained her wils. She accepted his 
apology for “an inane, adolescent and, to 
say the least, bizarre lapse in judgment” 
and docked his pay. 


‘AIDS UPDATE 


WASHINGTON, D.C—A comprehensive 
federal study of needle exchange programs 
im the U.S., Canada and Europe has con- 
cluded that allowing IV-drug users to 
swap used syringes for clean ones has 
slowed the spread of AIDS without in- 
creasing drug abuse. Health officials esti- 
mate that about one third of the more than 
300,000 AIDS victims in this country 
probably contracted the disease by sharing 
contaminated needles or by having sex 
with an infected drug user. 

ATLANTA—AIDS has become the top 
killer of American men 25 to 44 and is 
now the fourth-leading killer of women in 
the same age group, according to the Cen- 
lers for Disease Control. The numbers те- 
flect a steady rise that has been between 
three percent and five percent a year since 
1990, rather than an abrupt jump. 


st. LoUIS—Salmonella bacteria may be 
good al something other than causing food 
poisoning, A Washington University re- 
searcher reports that a genetically altered 
version of the microbe may work in a vac- 
cine that primes the female immune system 
to reject sperm before conception can occur. 
Studies with mice suggest that one shot 
might prevent conception for several 
months without otherwise affecting repro- 
ductive capacity. A male version of the 
vaccine might also work. 


BAD KARMA 


BRISBANE, AUSTRALIA—Keith Wright, a 
former member of Parliament, born-again 
Christian and antiporn crusader, capped 
his long public career as a militant moral- 
ist with an eight-year prison sentence for 
molesting and raping a teenage girl from 
1983 to 1986. He faces additional 
charges of sexually abusing two other 
young girls between 1984 and 1990—а 
period when he actively campaigned to 
have his hometown of Rockhampton de- 
сілтей a “porn-free zone.” 


с ТНЕМАЦШЕОЕЗ — 


ARHUS, DENMARK—Those progressive 
Danes have decided that citizens who are 
disabled need sex, too, and should have 
equal access to prostitutes. To that end, 
some cities have arranged for social work- 
ers to escort disabled people to massage 
parlors for 30-minute visits that cost 
around $100—which the client pays. A 
city official explained, “Sexual help to a 
physically or mentally handicapped person 
can decide if he behaves peacefully or vio- 
lently, if he commits suicide or lives on." 


CLOTHES AND THE CHILD 


WASHINGTON, D.C.—The Supreme Court 
has decided not to hear a child pornogra- 
phy case, accepting the Justice Department 
argument that a lower court had erred in 
its decision “that simply focusing on the 
midsection of a clothed body may constitute 
an ‘exhibition’ of the unrevealed body parts 
beneath the garments.” Republicans and 
conservatives accused the administration 
of being soft on child pornography. Clin- 
ton caved in to the pressure and directed 
Attorney General Janet Reno to write a 


[= 


new law that alters the definition of child 
‚porn to include clothed children and non- 
lascivious behavior. This creates a category 
of pornography so broad that possession of 
virtually any picture of a child could result 
in prosecution. 


NOTSO-GOOD SAMARITANS: 

CHICAGO "The Chicago Reporter” 
found that 14 of 16 Roman Catholic hos- 
pitals in Cook County deny rape victims 
access to so-called morning-after pills that 
would help them avoid pregnancy. By con- 
trast, 22 of 26 of the area's non-Catholic 
hospitals, which treat fewer than half of all 
Tape victims, routinely provide the morn- 
ing-after pill on request. 


AIRWAVES — 


EDINBURGH. SCOTLAND—A couple in a 
Cessna 150 who decided to join the Mile 
High Club forced air traffic controllers 
and aircraft near Edinburgh Airport to 
communicate on an emergency radio chan- 
nel. Somehow the planes microphone 
jammed open, broadcasting the couple's 
initiation into the club. This kept the regu- 
lar ground-to-air frequency busy for some 
50 minutes. Upon landing, the pilot was 


reprimanded for blocking radio communi- 
cations, but the traffic control manager 
conceded, “Apart from one aspect of his 
airmanskip—the failure to check in on a 
regular basis—there was no breach of avi- 
ation rules.” 


41 


шл — 


DANGEROUS ART 


еееееееееееееееееееееееееееееее 
an exhibit deemed unsafe to women sees the light 


“I don't know what I'm saying,” а 
bald, middle-aged man in a clown suit 
shouted to students walking by, “but I 
sure have the goddamn right to say it.” 
He dipped into a suitcase and show- 
ered the ground with fliers. The week- 
end of October 16 was a lively one at 
the University of Michigan in Ann Ar- 
bor. Next to the clown, in the heart of 
the main quadrangle, was a Queer Vis- 
ibility Kiss-in: Two men in studded 
leather jackets smooched and rubbed 
legs for an hour. Nearby, a goateed stu- 
dent communist leafleted under а ban- 
ner of Leon Trotsky. A woman roaming 
the quad stapled up posters solic- 
iting confessions for the Ninth An- 
nual Sexual Assault Awareness 
Week and more for the Seventh 
Annual Speak-out on Sexual Vio- 
lence and Harassment. Inside the 
law school, an art exhibition on 
prostitution drew 1000 viewers. If 
the academy is a marketplace of 
ideas, UM seemed like the Mall of 
America before Christmas. 

For some campus administra- 
tors and antipornography ac- 
tivists, however, the exuberance 
brought on something of a holi- 
day depression. The source of 
their funk was the art exhibit at 
the law school. It had been rein- 
stalled after a year-long legal bat- 
Че that pitted women artists and the 
American Civil Liberties Union against 
Lee Bollinger (the law dean), Cath- 
arine MacKinnon (the law school’s pro- 
censorship professor) and a group of 
students under MacKinnon's infiu- 
ence. Shortly after it opened the first 
time, Fornimagery: Picturing Prostitules, 
curated by Carol Jacobsen, was halted 
when MacKinnon and her associates 
expressed concern that the show 
threatened women’s safety because, as 
one student organizer put it, “porn 
gets men pumped.” 

Jacobsen, a gray-haired, soft-spoken 
and slightly stooped woman of 50, let 
me into the makeshift gallery the night 
before Pornimagery reopened. A televi- 
sion monitor showed her interviews 
with Detroit street hustlers who talked 
about trips to jail and forced sex with 
cops. On the walls hung testimonials 
from more prostitutes, along with a de- 
cidedly unglamourous photo essay 


By TED C. FISHMAN 


from the working life of another. The 
show was a plea to viewers to drop 
their stereotypes of prostitutes. I asked 
a first-year law student who had 
walked in after us what she thought. 
“It's a reminder that prostitutes are 
people,” she told me. 

The 1992 show had been stopped 
without warning. It was meant to com- 
plement a symposium on prostitution 
sponsored by the student-run Michigan 
Journal of Gender and Law. Jacobsen 
had been invited to curate and had se- 
lected seven artists—five video artists 
and two former sex workers. Their 


works all related to sex and imagery; 
most advocated prostitutes’ rights. 
While the symposium speakers’ panels 
took place in the law school. the show 
was mounted down the street in the 
student union. 

At one point, guest speaker John 
Stoltenberg, a co-founder of Men 
Against Pornography and author of 
Refusing to Be a Man, wandered into a 
room adjacent 1 the gallery, where he 
saw a sexually explicit segment of a 
video piece. The tape, Portrait of a Sexu- 
al Evolutionary, by Veronica Vera, inter- 
weaves brief clips of X-rated videos 
with documentary footage, such as Ve- 
ra's testimony before a U.S. Senate 
committee. Stoltenberg, a friend of 
MacKinnon's for 18 years, called the 
law professor to complain. MacKin- 
non, in turn, relayed his discomfort to 
the show's organizers. Another speak- 
er, antiporn activist Evelina Giobbe, 
told organizers the tapes made her and 


others vulnerable to sexual assault by 
the men on campus. Panicked at the 
prospect of unleashing “pumped up” 
Michigan men to brutalize their panel, 
the Journal editors marched into the 
exhibit hall and removed the video 
pieces from the show. The students 
didn't bother to view any of them. 

Bollinger and his public relations 
staff worked to dispel the perception 
that MacKinnon had been behind the 
censorship by parroting the statements 
she had made to the media at the time: 
that she just reported Stoltenberg’s 
complaint and denied trying to influ- 
ence the students. Well, MacKin- 
non doesn't need to exert in- 
fluence. She already has it. And 
her students are trained to pick 
up on it. Implied power is some- 
thing she teaches them about, 
particularly the power men have 
to “cajole” women into sex. She 
calls that “sexual harassment.” 
But law professors, too, are pow- 
erful. According to Bollinger, 
“students find them very intimi- 
dating.” So intimidating that they 
can “cajole” students into trashing 
art shows. 

As we toured the show, Jacob- 
sen recalled going into the video 
viewing room in October 1992 
and finding the tapes missing. At 
first she thought they had been stolen. 
When she went to replace them, the or- 
ganizers blocked her. “They said I had 
to take responsibility for reinstalling 
the tapes,” Jacobsen remembered, “be- 
cause MacKinnon and Stoltenberg 
thought that they had already been re- 
moved.” In other words, the students 
didn't want to have to tell their teacher 
that—against her concerns—they al- 
lowed Jacobsen to restore the videos. 

Jacobsen had refused to mount ad 
emboweled show. “You can't compro- 
mise on censorship,” Jacobsen said. 
“Otherwise you're a party to it.” The 
student organizers convened with 
MacKinnon, Stoltenberg and Andrea 
Dworkin. According to one account, 
Dworkin, one of antiporn's chief 
philosophers, told them that “she had 
been harassed by men who viewed 
pornography,” and warned of the dan- 
gers of showing pornography even in 
an academic context. Dworkin has 


pioneered the argument that all sex is 
rape and alll sexually explicit material 
is evidence of rape. 

Following the meeting, the organiz- 
ers told Jacobsen to remove every- 
thing. They also refused to let her ad- 
dress the forum the next day. The 
panelists—all strongly antiporn and 
antiprostitution—said that Jacobsen, 
too, was a threat to them. When she 
stood up in the audience to speak, stu- 
dents booed her. Jacobsen was hound- 
ed from the room. Lisa Lodin, a mem- 
ber of the Journal of Gender and Law, 
said that the journal staff never ques- 
tioned the speakers’ fears. “They were 
our guests,” she said, “and you don't 
challenge your guests when they tell 
you they re afraid.” 

Shut up and shut out, Jacobsen got a 
lawyer, Marjorie Heins of the ACLU 
Arts Censorship Project. Heins and Ja- 
cobsen first tried to retrieve Vera's 
videotape from Bol- 


cr?" He paused, looked at the other 
law professors and finally said, “Yeah, 
it was a no-brainer.” When 1 asked him 
why he had made copies of Vera's tape 
for others to view, several professors 
jumped in to change the subject 

Vera is accustomed to flustering the 
academy. In fact, she runs an educa- 
tional program of her own in New 
York City: Miss Vera’s Finishing School 
for Boys Who Want to Be Girls. Al- 
though Miss Vera's has yet to make it to 
U.S. Neus and World Report's list of top. 
schools, in Harper's Bazaar she cited it 
as the place of choice for heterosexual 
transvestites fighting "Venus envy" 
Heins told me that both the school and 
Portrait of a Sexual Evolutionary are Ve- 
ra's attempt to help people confront 
and enjoy their sexuality. If Stolten- 
berg had viewed more of the tape, he 
would have seen that Vera's use of X- 
rated films—some with her in them— 


women as victims and viewing porn as 
rape. It feeds their anger.” 

OF course, Vera's tape didn't spur 
sexual assaults. And since the time that 
the show was remounted—this time in 
the law school itself—and seen by 1000 
people, there have been no sex crimes 
linked to it. It probably didn't elicit 
even a droplet of male drool. If any- 
thing, viewers were uncannily well-be- 
haved. Anyone expecting raunch was 
disappointed. Audiences watched all 
five tapes in the same studious si- 
lence—even during some funny mo- 
ments, such as when Vera primly read 
a snippet of erotica to Senator Arlen 
Specter. When I laughed, a man in 
front of me asked me to be quict. 

Most of the works chronicle how 
prostitutes deal with cops and pimps. 
One of the tapes, The Salt Mines, by Su- 
sanna Aiken and Carlos Aparicio, is a 
haunting look at New York's homeless 

Latino transvestites. I 


linger, who had com- 
mandeered it and cop- 
ied it to distribute to 
others. Predictably—at 
least to anyone who's 
ever lent out a sexy 
video—it took weeks of 
badgering by the ACLU 
before the tapes and 
copies were returned. 
MacKinnon and the 
Joumal editors who 
found their antiporn 
guests’ fear credible 
must have been all 
atremble as Vera's tape 
circulated among the 
law faculty. 

I caught up with 
Bollinger in the law 


—] asked students what 
they thought of the 
videos. A graduate stu- 
dent in linguistics said 
she was interested in 
the idiom of the street 
prostitutes; another stu- 
dent, an assistant cura- 
tur at Ше Осиой Insti- 
tute of Art, simply came 
to see artists’ work, No 
one described the vid- 
eos as sexy. 

In her recent book, 
Only Words, MacKinnon 
argues that sexually ex- 
plicit material is not 
about ideas but about 
eliciting reflexive physi- 
cal response: “Pornog- 


school hall during the 
show's reopening reception. Ironically, 
Bollinger's reputation as a scholar rests 
on his defense of free expression. (In 
his book The Tolerant Society: Freedom of 
Speech and Extremist Speech in America, 
he makes a strong case for broad pro- 
i i ) His wife, 
Jean, an artist, joined him at the gath- 
ering. She described her work reluc- 
tantly. saying it had something to do 
with “place.” I asked if I could get a 
postcard or slide of it; she said no. 
Judging by their demeanor, the couple 
seemed to wish they were somewhere 
else. Bollinger huddled with colleagues 
while Jean clutched his arm. I asked 
why he had kept Vera's videotape so 
long after the incident last year. “I 
wanted to see if it was pornographic 
under Michigan law,” he said. “And it 
wasn't.” It was an easy decision, he 
said. “How easy?” I asked. “A no-brain- 


was as strong an indictment of sex as 
usual as is his work. Whatever stan- 
dards Stoltenberg has, they are double. 
His own writing—like that of MacKin- 
non and Dworkin—is slathered with 
borrowed excerpts of brutish porn, in- 
cluding one piece that starts, “He 
pulled his prick out of her cunt and 
then grabbed his belt from his pants.” 
It seems Stoltenberg feels it's OK to use 
porn excerpts when it makes his point. 
By comparison, Vera's selection seems 
tame. No nasty snuff, just evidence that 
she enjoys sex, and lots of it, something 
Stoltenberg and his friends don't seem 
to fathom. 

“I get off on sex as a pleasurable ex- 
perience,” Vera said following the 
show. “But for most of the censors, the 
primary response to sex is anger. They 
get off on the anger. Thats why they 
have a vested interest in keeping 


raphy does not engage 
the conscious mind. . . . Pornography is 
masturbation material. It is used as sex 
and therefore is sex, and having sex is 
antithetical to thinking.” 

Yet at the University of Michigan, 
MacKinnon's domain, the tables were 
turned. It was MacKinnon’s students 
who judged artists’ work before seeing 
it, her students who killed an art show 
and her students who shouted down 
Jacobsen. It was left to the artists, sex 
workers and provocative videos to en- 
courage viewers to engage their “con- 
scious minds” with the issues MacKin- 
non, Dworkin, Stoltenberg and Giobbe 
talk about. What was antithetical to 
thinking? And whose actions were 
reflexive physical response? Those of 
students taught, guided and beholden 
to Catharine MacKinnon—or those of 
the artists and their thoughtful audi- 
ence? That's a no-brainer. 


43 


44 


how america looks at sex 


It is 10:45 a.m. According to the 
program for the annual meeting of 
the Society for the Scientific Study of 
Sex, I have a choice of several work- 
shops and symposia. I choose to at- 
tend one called the Effects of Pornog- 
raphy on Women. 

At the front of the room psycholo- 
gist Wendy Stock fiddles with a televi- 
sion monitor. Soon the audience is 
watching a clip from a 20/20 episode 
called “Sex with the Unreal Woman.” 
It documents a support group 
formed by male students at Duke 
University to work through relation- 
ship problems caused by exposure to 
porn. They say that because of porn 
they did not view women as real— 
they viewed intercourse as “mastur- 
bating into a woman” or were sur- 
prised to find that “the woman is still 
there after you ejaculate.” 

The guys generally look 
like wet-behind-the-scrotum 
college kids whose only social 
skill is the one they acquired 
when they discovered the 
combustibility of flatulence. 

Maybe they think that they 
can make themselves attrac- 
tive to women by reciting the 
catechism according to anti- 
porn feminist Catharine Mac- 
Kinnon. They are masturba- 
tion amateurs, easily shamed. 

Stock turns off the TV and 
presents her research. In it 
she asked 125 students with a 
mean age of 18.5, “Have you 
ever been upset by anyone 
trying to get you to do what 
they had scen in pornographic pic- 
tures, movies or books?” One in five 
answered yes. 

As her pointer moves down the 
screen, her audience learns that 97 
percent of the men and women in her 
study had seen porn, and that 62.1 
percent of the men used porn, com- 
pared with only 7.3 percent of the 
women. 

How do women react to porn— 
whether it was shoved in their faces 
by coercive boyfriends or stuff they 
bought themselves? Stock had pre- 
sented her subjects with a loaded list 
of adjectives. Of the 20 answers only 
five were positive. 

Stock is one of those researchers 


By JAMES R. PETERSEN 


who are trying to catalog the harms of 
porn. As I look at the audience, I see 
mostly believers—dour puritans and 
MacKinnon wanna-bes. They soak up 
the statistics with complete gullibility. 

Another group of women—233— 
answered the following question: 

“Ifyou have been upset by anyone 
trying to get you to do what they 
had seen in pornography, did this 
include: 

Attempted oral, anal or vaginal 
intercourse? [13.7 percent answered 
with a yes] 

Completed oral, anal or vaginal in- 
tercourse? [8.2 percent] 

Penetration with a foreign object? 
[3.9 percent]" 

"That pretty much describes sex as 


we know it, whether or not you've 
seen porn. Stock seems to believe that 
if men never saw porn, they would be 
as docile as sheep. In Stock's world, 
all sex has negative outcomes, but she 
reserves special ire for the degrading 
acts of ejaculation on the face or body 
of a partner, and for deep throat and 
anal sex. 

What makes ejaculating on the out- 
side of a woman degrading, while 
ejaculating inside a woman is sacred? 
Do guys learn to come on a wom- 
an from porn or from premature 
ejaculation? Sorry I came on your 
kneecaps. For that matter, masturbat- 
ing guys ejaculate on their own bod- 
icsall the time, and not one says, “Oh, 


UDIES. 


255% en 


God, I just degraded myself.” 

Stock’s male subjects didn't quite fit 
the puppet theory; 65.8 percent had 
seen anal intercourse in porn, and 
only 19.3 percent had tried it. Only 
32.3 percent of the males had at- 
tempted to get their partners to per- 
form deep throat. 

At one point an audience member 
suggests that porn is the surrogate or 
substitute for sex education in a sex- 
negative culture. 

Stock answers something about 
the alternatives to “rape-sanctioning 
materials.” 

1 leave to attend a workshop called 
In Search of the Erotic. The room is 
buzzing with positive feeling. I feel as 
ИТ am the latecomer to a great party. 
The group had just watched sexy 
scenes from No Way Out and Basic In- 

stinct and then listened to a 
sexually explicit audiotape. 
They are telling one anoth- 
«а what Шеу found civiu, 
and they are jazzed. One 
woman says she feels em- 
powered. 

Sex educators Patti Brit- 
ton and Edward Herold 
present а mixed-media slide 
show of sexy images, while 
a tape by a group called 
Enigma plays in the back- 
ground. I watch images of 
fellatio, cunnilingus and 
masturbation as a Gregori- 
an chant floats to a disco 
beat. At the end of the exer- 
cise, the members of the au- 
dience capture their sexual 

feclings with crayons and paper. 

I watch a stunning blonde woman 
start to draw something that looks 
like labia. Then she turns it into a 
whorl of color. She uses every crayon 
in the box. So that’s what it looks like 
to feel empowered. 


Same day, same meeting of sex re- 
searchers, yet two widely different ap- 
proaches to sex and sensuality. Those 
guys at Duke, bless their pointed litile 
heads, had simply wandered into the 
wrong room at this country’s popu- 
lar-culture convention. 


No wonder America is fucked. 


Reporter's Notebook 


GUNS N’ POSES 


the brady bill was a feel-good liberal cop-out. 
isn't it time we faced the real cause of crime? 


The National Rifle Association is right. 
The recently passed gun-control legisla- 
tion, the so-called Brady bill, is a feel- 
good liberal cop-out that won't do much 
about crime. 

Ofcourse, the NRA is wrong toclaim a 
Second Amendment right to own assault 
weapons or to fire razor-sharp bullets 
that are designed to chew up internal or- 
gans. And they are absurd to attack the 
Supreme Court for finding it constitu- 
tional to require a reasonable waiting pe- 
riod to ensure that gun purchasers are 
not felons on the lam. 

Cops are the "well-regulated militia" 
referred to in the Second Amendment, 
not the crazies and criminals who now 
purchase cop-killing ammo thanks to the 
NRAS obstructionist policies. And if or- 
dinary citizens are to have guns, then 
they ought to be sufficiently “well-regu- 
lated" to pass a test in gun care before 
being licensed to purchase a weapon. 

But the NRA is right in saying that 
gun ownership has become an easy tar- 
get for all of us in this country who can't 
face up to the real source of crime. 
Crime is rampant because we have an 
outlaw subculture of people who have 
nothing to lose. The people who rob and 
mug are desperate losers. How else to 
describe the idiot who stole my 1986 
Chevy Astro van right before my eyes as 
my wife and I drove up to our house? 

My wife, the Sicilian, gave chase at 
high speed, and after a mile cut him off. 
He fled from the van, and when the cops 
arrived, they agreed that I did the right 
thing when I ignored my spouse’s call to 
go get the thief. The police told me the 
odds were good that he would be armed 
and would have tried to kill me had 1 
cornered him. They added that the 
heist, if successful, would have netted 
him $150 for the removable bench seats. 
For that paltry sum, this kid was willing 
to risk three and a half years hard time— 
the average served for this crime—or, if 
he had killed me, the gas chamber. 

These are the strangers in our midst— 
people with such low expectations that 
their desperate actions are unfathom- 
able to the rest of us. We have devel- 
oped a criminal class of people so alien- 
ated from the normal system of rewards 
and punishments that they will use any 
weapon to commit the most irrational 


opinion By ROBERT SCHEER 


crimes. Take guns away from the ob- 
sessed street criminals who haunt our 
cities and they will smash us with bricks. 

Don't get me wrong—I would love to 
deprive criminals of firearms by any 
means possible. Guns are more efficient 
Killers than bricks. In 1990, there were 
16,500 gun-related homicides. Throw in 
the additional 19,000 firearm-inflicted 
suicides and 1500 accidental gun deaths 
and the case for making ours a gun-free 
society is clear. That's the practice in 
nearly all other industrialized nations, 
and gun-related fatalities in Japan num- 
ber less than 100 yearly. 

We all know the stats. The person who 
keeps a gun at home is 43 times more 
likely to kill a family member or friend 
than a robber, The NRA is currently em- 
barked on a huge campaign to get 
women to own guns despite evidence 
that shows they are five times more like- 
ly to kill their husbands with those guns 
than to knock off an intruder. Obviously, 
we'd all be safer with fewer guns around, 
and yes, guns should not be sold to chil- 
dren. Sensible regulation of the legal 
gun trade is in order. 

But gun control, meaning the regis- 
tration and regulation of new weapons, 
has little to do with keeping guns away 
from criminals. Guns will still be readily 
available to thugs, no matter the waiting 
period, because there are already 200 
million weapons in circulation in the 
U.S. The New York gunman whose 
LIRR rampage killed six this winter, in- 
cidentally, waited 15 days to buy a 
three times the period of the Brady bill. 

Anything short of the confiscation of 
virtually all of those weapons will simply 
drive up the black market price for guns. 
As with the ineffectual crackdown on 
drugs, this will increase rather than de- 
crease the crime rate. Criminals will be- 
come more energetic in their efforts in 
order to keep up with rising costs of do- 
ing business. 

Does that mean we are destined to 
have much higher rates of violent crime 
than are found in other developed na- 
tions? No, because as the NRA points 
out—correctly, albeit ad nauseam—it's 
not guns but people that kill. The vast 
majority of gun owners never use their 
guns in the commission of a crime. The 
problem is with the relatively small sub- 


stratum of gun owners whoare responsi- 
ble for most violent crime. 

Gun-control supporters note that oth- 
er societies have stricter gun laws and 
lower violent crime rates. What they ig- 
nore is that those societies have also been 
far more aggressive and successful in 
avoiding the extreme social discontent 
and the glaring racial and class differ- 
ences that breed crime. 

Every other advanced industrial soci- 
ety buys off its potential malcontents by 
providing for the people who can’t make 
it in the system. Since the Reagan revo- 
lution, we have told people on society's 
margins to sink or swim. Yet we're aston- 
ished when they refuse to drown. 

Criminal violence in America is very 
much a residue of racism, and our fail- 
ure to deal with its consequences results 
in unemployment rates of more than 
50 percent among young black males. 
Therefore, it is not surprising, as The 
Economist noted, that blacks, who make 
up only 12 percent of the population, ac- 
count for 48 percent of murderers. 

Just building prisons and snatching 
guns doesn't cut it when a society devel- 
ops social fissures and begins to disinte- 
grate. One out of four young black males 
is ensnared in the criminal justice sys- 
tem—a higher percentage than in the 
bad old days of racist South Africa. 

Gun control is too often the refuge of 
scoundrels in our government who have 
pretended to be helpless while millions 
of jobs slipped away, the public educa- 
tion system fell apart and affordable 
housing and social programs in the cities 
became a dangerous joke. The political 
talk about gun control and fighting 
crime has become a smoke screen for 
avoiding the failure of this society to cut 
in a significant portion of its citizens on 
the essential action. 

Crime is the only inner-city jobs pro- 
gram left that works. And now that the 
permanent depression that has been the 
lot of most blacks and Latinos has be- 
come a reality for the Anglo mainstream, 
watch out. Americans, of all colors, may 
no longer believe that they have an in- 
alienable right to own a gun. But they 
sure do believe it's their birthright, one 
way or the other, to get a piece of the pie. 


45 


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armor wrenview: ANTHONY HOPKINS 


a candid conversation with britain’s preeminent actor about battling direc- 
tors, shunning shakespeare and becoming the world’s most famous cannibal 


It would not be an exaggeration to say 
that 27 minutes of screen time changed An- 
thony Hopkins’ life forever. For years it 
seemed as if Hopkins would be relegated to 
the relatively pleasant life of an under- 
achiever, an actor who worked constantly but 
never attained the level of true star. He was 
known on-screen and onstage for his solid, 
interesting, even inventive performances. 
Offstage he had a reputation as a difficult 
man haunted by demons. Then a character 
named Hannibal Lecter came into his life. 

Hopkins was on-screen less than half an 
hour during “The Silence of the Lambs,” 
playing the jailed serial killer with a taste for 
human liver and fava beans. The role won 
him an Oscar for best actor and transformed 
him into the kind of star he dreamed of be- 
coming as а lonely, tormented boy growing 
up in Wales. 

Critics, who had always appreciated his 
efforts, now placed him in the pantheon of 
such gifted British actors as Laurence Olivi- 
er, Richard Burton and John Gielgud. When 
“The Remains of the Day” opened this past 
autumn, the media again fell in love. “No 
other aclor need apply,” wrote “Time” mag- 
azine. “Hopkins is just the man for this.” 
“The more I sce of Anthony Hopkins, the 
more convinced I become that he is the most 
brilliant and versatile actor since Laurence 
Olivier,” wrote Rex Reed. Michael Medved 


“Itry not to let people absorb too much of my 
energy. Once people start latching on to me 
and try to control me, T wave them goodbye, 
sometimes forever, and I won't go back. I 
don't like being controlled by anyone.” 


called Hopkins’ performance “one of the 
greatest acting achievements ever captured 
on film.” His latest film, “Shadowland 
was talked about as an Oscar contender well 
before its release simply because of the new- 
found power of his name. 

In the UK he was recognized as a nation- 
al treasure and was knighted by Queen Eliz- 
abeth shortly after receiving his Oscar. Few 
people realized how far he had to travel to 
enjoy such success. For those who knew the 
56-year-old actor well, the most amazing 
news wasn't that he had won an Academy 
Award or had been knighted И was that he 
had survived at all. 

Hopkins was born December 31, 1937, in 
Port Talbot, Wales, the hometown of Richard 
Burton. His parents ran a small bakery, but 
young Tony managed to avoid working in 
the family business. His school life was a dis- 
aster. He claims to have had virtually no 
friends and describes himself as the ultimate 
misfil—in fact, he often lapsed into total si- 
lence for weeks on end. When his teachers 
voiced their concern to his parents, Hopkins 
was sent away to boarding school. where he 
was shy around girls, didn't play sports and 
had no idea what he wanted to be when he 
grew up. 

At 17 he discovered acting in ап amateur 
play and, at 18, thanks to a talent for play- 
ing the piano, won a scholarship to the 


“Power is erotic. Remember when Henry 
Kissinger was secretary of state and he had 


all those women around? Power is sex. 1 
don't think Hiller was sexy, but people used 
10 have orgasms when he spoke.” 


Welsh College of Music and Drama in 
Cardiff After two years he fulfilled his 
mandatory training in the British army, 
where he served—incompetently, he says—as 
a clerk. In 1960 he became an assistant 
stage manager at the Manchester Library 
Theater, then joined the Nottingham Re) 
tory Company. In 1961 he won a scholar- 
ship to study at London's Royal Academy of 
Dramatic Art. Work in other repertory con 
panies in Leicester and Liverpool followed, 
and in 1965 he was invited to audition for 
Laurence Olivier, director of the National 
Theater. “T thought I was going to be discov- 
ered overnight and become a big movie star 
within three days of stepping onstage,” he 
said. “None of that happened.” Still, within 
two years, Hopkins was designated as Olivi- 
er's understudy and was considered likely to 
take over the directorship. “I was told that 
1 had the promise of becoming one of the 
great actors in England.” But booze and 
a hol temper turned an opportunity into a 
nightmare. 

While appearing in “Macbeth” and re- 
hearsing for “The Misanthrope.” Hopkins 
blew up at a director and quit the National 
Theater. His decision was final, even though 
he was warned that he was probably destroy- 
ing а promising career. His stubbornness 
and rage were dlready legend among those 
who knew him—and he said he would rather 


\ 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY LORI STOLL 


“Most actors want to do ‘Hamlet’ when 
they're al their craziest. I think it’s a death 
wish. I suppose it’s good to have done it, but 
I don't find it enriching. 1 don’t like Shake- 
speare. I'd rather be in Malibu.” 


47 


drive a cab than take direction from someone 
he didn’t like. 

His drinking became a problem (“I was 
drinking myself to death,” he admits) and he 
was often deeply depressed. His first mar- 
riage lasted just four years, and when he 
walked out he left behind a baby daughter, 
whom he seldom saw after the divorce. In 
1973 he married Jennifer Lynton, whom he 
met while filming “When Eight Bells Toll.” 

No matter what happened in his personal 
life, Hopkins kept working. Over the years 
he has appeared in 18 plays, 43 television 
dramas and 28 movies. For British and 
American television he convincingly por- 
trayed Charles Dickens, Danton, Lloyd 
George, Edmund Kean, Guy Burgess, Adolf 
Hitler, Mussolini and Quasimodo, the 
Hunchback of Notre Dame. His first film 
was “The Lion in Winter,” with Peter 
O'Toole and Katharine Hepburn, in 1967. 
He also starred as an eerie ventriloquist in 
“Magic,” as the doctor in “The Elephant 
Man,” as Captain Bligh in “The Bounty” 
and as a dealer of rare books in "84 Charing 
Cross Road.” 

Now, with Hopkins once again un every- 
one's list of Oscar candidates, PLAYBOY sent 
Contributing Editor Lawrence Grobel (who 
last interviewed Joyce Carol Oates) to probe 
into the mind of the man who made canni- 
balism sexy. Grobel's report: 

“I didn’t know what to expect when I went 
aut to the Miramar Holel in Santa Monica, 
where Hopkins likes to stay when he comes to 
Los Angeles. I had read enough stories about 
him saying how he understood characters 
like Hannibal Lecter and Adolf Hitler well 
enough to play them. I had no doubt the man 
had demons, but I wondered whether they 
would surface when we talked. 

“It turned out that Hopkins isn’t a man 
who keeps his opinions to himself; He doesn't 
look kindly on his profession or the prima 
donna behavior of his fellow actors. Не» 
bold enough and confident enough to say 
what he feels. He may be one of the most fear- 
less actors working today. 

"T saw him twice before he left for Eng- 
land to make ‘The Remains of the Day’ and 
twice more after the movie was done. At one 
of our sessions I presented a copy of ‘The 
Silence of the Lambs’ for him to sign. He 
obliged by writing how much he looked for- 
ward to having dinner with me, where we 
could dine on a plate of raw liver, fava beans 
and a bottle of chianti. Wishing me pleasant 
dreams, he signed it ‘Hannibal Lecter’” 


PLAYBOY 


PLAYBOY: With your recent knighthood, 
must we address you as Sir Anthony? 
HOPKINS: They say “Sir Hopkins.” What 
do Americans think of all that? 
PLAYBOY: We're impressed. But never 
mind what Americans think, what did 
you think when you found out about it? 
HOPKINS: It was a big surprise. It’s nice. 
Tm honored, but I don't know how to 
use it. Maybe I can get special tables at 
restaurants. 
PLAYBOY: Which is a bigger honor, an Os- 
ав cr or a knighthood? 


HOPKINS: I hope this won't get in the 
English press, but the Oscar, because I'm 
a movie actor. Getting the Oscar was a 
great moment for me. It changed my 
life, because it knocked down my self- 
doubts. I think praise is a good thing to 
have іп one's life. It’s better than a kick 
in the ass. When I was a little kid, my fa- 
ther used to pick me up and throw me 
into the air, and I always wanted to touch 
the ceiling. And I thought, Well, now 
Гус touched the ceiling. It's like they let 
me out of the cage. 

PLAYBOY: Many people are predicting 
you'll get a second Oscar for The Remains 
of the Day. Would you like to win again? 
HOPKINS: One is enough. I have an Os- 
car so I'm off the hook, really. I've done 
everything Гуе ever wanted in my life. 
The knighthood is another thing. 

I nearly blew it all some years ago, and 
Thad sort of a resurrection. Many peo- 
ple don't survive drugs or survive the 
horrors I did, and I came through it. 
Then The Silence of the Lambs came out of 
the blue and 1 was given an Oscar, and 
then I was given this knighthood and 
now I've done this amazing film called 


“Т wasn't popular 
at all. I never played 
with any of the 
other kids, didn’t have 
any friends.” 


The Remains of the Day, which really is 
coming home to me. And next I played 
the writer C. S. Lewis in Shadowlands. So 
I'm getting these parts now, and I'm 
thinking, What the hell's happened? 
Why are these parts coming to me? 

My agent says this is an exciting time 
in my life. 1 say it's all bullshit. I mean, 
agents are agents, actors are actors. 
There's nothing exciting about it. 
PLAYBOY: Nothing? Don’t you enjoy it? 
HOPKINS: I love going to the studio, I 
love going to location and getting into 
the dressing rooms—all that ritual of go- 
ing to makeup, putting the clothes on. If 
they want me to wait there for three 
days, I don't care. These assistants run 
up and say, “Sorry to keep you waiting.” 
1 say, “Just make sure my agent gets the 
check, that’s all.” I read books, I relax, I 
sleep. T love it. I always save my energy. I 
don't hang about. I stay away from other 
actors; I don't want to have lunch with 
them. And as soon as the day’s over, I'm 
in the car and Im off. I don’t want any- 
thing to do with it. A friend of mine said 
it's easy for me to say that. Well, it is. It's 
easy flying a jumbo jet when you know 


how to do it. It’s the same for me, it's 
easy, because I know what Tm doing. 
PLAYBOY: Laurence Olivier said acting is 
a masochistic form of exhibitionism. 
HOPKINS: What a lot of crap. It’s all bull- 
shit. Bullshit. It's a crock of horseshit, all 
of it. 1 don’t know, maybe I'm shallow. 
Maybe I don't have much going on in 
my mind. The only quote which is fairly 
accurate for myself is that I think actors 
are all damaged goods. 

PLAYBOY: Why did you want to become 
an actor? 

HOPKINS: It's all 1 know. I've been get- 
ting away with it for 30 years. I became 
an actor because I wanted to do some- 
thing new that would get me out of the 
rut that I was in. I wanted to make a 
mark somehow; I wanted to become fa- 
mous—that’s all I ever wanted. I'd seen 
Marlon Brando and Montgomery Clift 
and that’s what I wanted to become. I 
wanted to become an American actor. 
My longing to come to America was a 
more powerful influence than anyone 
like Olivier, who was the greatest actor of 
his time. But looking back, I remember 
I wanted to become an actor because 
Richard Burton had made it and he 
came from the same hometown I did. 
He escaped and made a career for hi 
self. I wanted to become somebody like 
that. I just didn’t want to be what I was. 
PLAYBOY: Was your childhood traumatic? 
HOPKINS: I was an idiot at school. I didn't 
know what time of day it was. We lived in 
the rural part of an industrial, steel- 
working town. When I first went to 
school I was in a completely alien envi- 
ronment. I can remember the smell of 
stale milk, drinking straws and wet coats 
and sitting there absolutely petrified. 
That feeling stayed with me. The fear 
stayed with me through my childhood 
and right through adolescence—that 
gnawing anxiety that I was freaky, that I 
wasn't really fitting in anywhere. Maybe 
I was dyslexic. In fact, I wasn't popular 
at all. I never played with any of the oth- 
er kids, and I didn't have any friends. I 
wanted to be left alone all through my 
school years. 

PLAYBOY: Did you ever do anything to at- 
tract attention? 

HOPKINS: Just after the war, I was in a lit- 
tle school called Bridge Street School 
and every lunch I could get on the bus 
and go home, which was about three 
miles. But I would never get on the bus, 
I would run beside it, like an idiot, like 
the school clown. I was so ill when I got 
home, it’s a wonder I didn’t have a heart 
attack. I was throwing up because I was 
exhausted. I used to race the school bus, 
and naturally it would get ahead of me 
and Га catch up at the bus stop and kids 
would say, “Come on.” I would do things 
in a weird way, like I wouldn't go to my 
own birthday parties. 

PLAYBOY: Did your parents find your be- 
havior odd? 

HOPKINS: I was an only child and my 


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PLAYBOY 


50 


mother and father were a little worried 
because І didn't seem to grasp anything. 
My parents sent me off to a boarding 
school and I lived away from home from 
the age of 11. That sense of potential 
failure is still in the back of my mind. I 
still don't hang around people. I'm not 
gregarious with anybody. 

PLAYBOY: And this stems from your being 
so withdrawn as a child? 

HOPKINS: Oh, yes. In school I wouldn't 
speak to anyone for four weeks. And I 
was punished 

low were you punished? 

hey hit me. 

PLAYBOY: The teachers? 

HOPKINS: The teachers, yes. They would 
slap me about the 
head. And I did 
not speak, I just 
wouldn't speak. I 
was hauled before 
the headmaster, 
who talked to my 
mother and father 
and said there was 
something wrong 
with me. 

PLAYBO\ 
were you? 
HOPKINS: I was 14. 
In 1953 J was read- 
ing Trotsky's History 
of the Russian Revo- 
lution and I was 
asked if I was a 
Communist or a 
Marxist. I didn’t 
know what they 
were talking about. 
The book was tak- 
en away from me. 
Then some of the 
kids would call me 


How old 


sign that I no longer see myself that way. 
I'm aware of what you could do out of 
self-contempt. So my life is a remarkable 
revelation to myself. 

PLAYBOY: As a child, did you have any re- 
ligious beliefs to fall back on? 

HOPKINS: No. Once, when I was about 
four, they recited the Lord's Prayer in 
school and I couldn't comprehend it. 
Whenever I mentioned this my father 
said, “It’s a load of rubbish, God." So for 
years I believed it was all self deter- 
mined and you just suffer in this uncom- 
fortable universe. My father’s philoso- 
phy was: “You're going to fight. It's dog 
eat dog! Don't trust anyone and don't 
give anything away.” 


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scripts because I don't like wasting pa- 
per. I don't like wasting food. It makes 
me uncomfortable when you order a 
meal in America and they bring you a 
huge feast. That's a terrible waste. And I 
switch off lights. My wife says, “For God’s 
sake, don't get like your father.” I say, 
“You don't need all of these lights on.” 
And she says, “We're not living in 
Charles Dickens’ England.” I go around 
and switch them off. 

PLAYBOY: Did you ever work with your 
dad in the bakery? 

HOPKINS: No. He said, “You don't want 
to come into this business, do you?” I 
said no. He told me, “You'd be hopeless. 
PLAYBOY: Your father must have thought 
ita miracle that you 
got through school 
at all. Is it a major 
accomplishment to 
survive the British 
school system? 
HOPKINS: Yes, it is. 
The public school 
system is one of the 
most insufferable 
systems of all. I'm 
glad I was in that 
system because it 
gave me enough 
rocket fuel to get 
out and do some- 
thing different. It 
pushed me into 
rage for years. I 
look back at it now 
and think it wasn’t 
that something was 
wrong with me, it 
was that something 
was right with me. I 
may have hurt a few 


“bolshi, bolshi, bol- 
shi.” I went com- 
pletely into myself. 
I thought I would 
defy them all. That 


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has stayed with me 
the rest of my life, 
the thought that I 
would show them 
all one day, And 
that’s why I became an actor. 

PLAYBOY: Did you hate the classmates 
who teased you? 

HOPKINS: I hated the rejection, I hated 
being sneered at by other kids. I geta re- 
curring dream that I'm outside of the 
group. I don't belong and they show me 
that I don't belong. It’s about going back 
to school—or it could be among a group 
of adults in a dream—and they turn on 
me, humiliate me, and I wake up. It's so 
vivid, it takes me a few minutes to realize 
that it was a dream 

PLAYBOY: How do they humiliate you? 
HOPKINS: They call me crap: “You're 
nothing, you're so worthless, you're 
nasty, you're a vicious person." Once I 
get back to my senses I take it as a good 


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PLAYBOY: How much ofa force was your 
father in your life? 

HOPKINS: He was a man of colossal ener- 
gy, but a lot of the energy didn’t go any- 
He was just spinning his wheels 

He was exhausting to be with. My father 
said all bakers are mad because they 
have such violent temperaments. I re- 
member him in a rage, tearing a loaf of 
bread because it had gone wrong and 
throwing it all over the wall in frustra- 
tion. In the Depression years people did 
anything to survive and people cracked. 
PLAYEOY: Do you take after your father? 

HOPKINS: As I get older I feel so much 
like him. I have a thing about waste, I 
hate waste. I had a thing with Francis 
Coppola during Dracula with reams of 


people along the 
way but it got me 
what I wanted. 
PLAYBOY: What 
were you good at 
as a boy? 
HOPKINS: І was 


good at imperson- 
ating teachers. ] 
could imitate man- 
nerisms and voices. 
‘That was my way of getting back. 1 real- 
ly developed it when I became an actor. 
PLAYBOY: Did you ever get caught mim- 
icking someone? 

HOPKINS: Olivier, once. 1 was doing a 
speech, just fooling around, and he was 
standing right behind me. 

PLAYBOY: What was his reaction? 
HOPKINS: He said, "Is that supposed to 
be me? Doesn't sound anything like me." 
But it was a good impersonation. When 
[director] John Schlesinger and 1 were 
together making The Innocent in Ger- 
many, I did John and he said, “Oh, fuck 
off.” Schlesinger is an interesting charac- 
ter. He's precise and quite volatile. When 
1 went into the army for my military 


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service, there was a Sergeant Brolins, 
and I used to be able to imitate his voice. 
Га stand outside the huts and call every- 
one out on parade half an hour early. I'd 
vanish and they'd all come out. I sup- 
pose it's all a residue of my childhood. 
Somebody said of me once, “What is 
with Tony, always the jokes and laughter, 
fooling around, what's he covering up?" 
Maybe she was right, maybe I am cover- 
ing up something. 

PLAYBOY: Didn't you also find some re- 
lease through music and drawing? 
Hopkins: Well, I was captivated by 
Beethoven and his music and I wanted 
to become Beethoven. 1 can compose 
and improvise. I often manage to sneak 
a little of my own music into my films 
PLAYBOY: Do you still draw? 

HOPKINS: I used to draw when I was a 
kid, used to lie on the floor while all 
these war planes were dropping bombs. 
There was a woman called Bernice 
Evans, 18 or 19, and she came to the 
house one day to see my mother. She 
looked at my drawings and said, 
“They're very good. He should have 
lessons.” I was sent to this little school 
that Bernice had in town, once a week 
on Friday nights, and she taught me how 
to paint with poster paints. Then, in the 
summer in 1947, this man came up the 
stairs and into the room. He had on a 
bright checked jacket and had very 
piercing eyes. She said, “Anthony, this is 
Richard, he’s an actor.” 

PLAYBOY: Was it Richard Burton? 
HOPKINS: Yes. Never met him again until 
I went to ask for his autograph when he 
became a bit more famous, But he went 
out with Bernice. 

PLAYBOY: What about you? Did you go 
out much or were you sexually naive? 
HOPKINS: Just a bit dumb. I didn't know 
what it was about. It was something you 
didn't talk about. Especially with a Welsh 
background, 1 was closed off about it. I 
didn't want complications in my life, so I 
closed down. It's all rather baffling and 
mysterious. I never had an easy relation- 
ship over the years, then I gradually be- 
gan to like women. But I was shy for a 
long time, fearful. I was a bit ofa recluse. 
I went out with a girl briefly, and I went. 
out with a girl at the Royal Academy. In 
1961 I went out with an American girl 
for about six months. That was a bit of a 
traumatic experience. I was besotted 
with her, but she was ephemeral, elusive. 
Опе day she said, “That's it.” It's all such 
a big deal that's made of everything, 
whether it's sex or acting. Now I think 
it's no big deal. You function, you get on 
with your life. One day it’s all going to be 
over and that’s the end of that, 

PLAYBOY: After school, what kind of jobs 
did you hold? 

HOPKINS: In 1955 I worked in a steel 
company in Wales for eight weeks. The 
fitters would come in and say, “I'd like 
two dozen steel bolts and two pieces of 


52 piping.” And Га always get it wrong. I 


remember one man said, "You're not re- 
ally connected, are you?” That's what I 
felt most like in those years. My father 
would say the same thing. “Take this 
bread to the shop. No, forget it, get out.” 
He gave up quickly. Mind you, I got out 
of a lot of duties and hard work. In the 
army I qualified for a clerk's course and 
I was in the chief clerk's office for 18 
months. I couldn't type and I couldn't 
do anything right. The staff sergeant 
looked at me and said, “I was just won- 
dering, How the hell did I give you this 
job?” I was so stupid. 

I just couldn't make anything work. I 
got into a repertory company, the Man- 
chester Library Theater, and the direc- 
tor had had it with me. Everything was 
a disaster. Finally, they gave me some 
small parts that I couldn't do. So I didn't 
start off with much promise. But I had 
no intention of doing work for the rest of 
my life, which is why I became an actor. 
PLAYBOY: Did you have a feeling of 
belonging when you were with other 
actors? 

HOPKINS: No, not at all. I still don't get a 
sense of belonging. 


“I don't like virtue 
and I don’t like 
worthiness. I don’t 
like valor. Why keep 


being so nice?” 


PLAYBOY: What did you learn when you 
studied at the Welsh College of Music 
and Drama? 

HOPKINS: Not very much because I was 
too young. I learned some speech, and 
the history of the theater and makeup 
and all that. 1 left when I was 19 and 
went on a tour of Britain for the Arts 
Council. Then I did my national military 
service for two years. 

PLAYBOY: Did you try to get out of 
the draft? 

HOPKINS: They said that if you drank a 
bottle of vinegar it would cause a heart 
tremor and get you out of the army. I 
was hoping I could have something 
wrong with me, but there was nothing. I 
couldn't fake it. 

PLAYBOY: Afier the army you enrolled іп 
the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art. Did 
you settle down then? 

HOPKINS: I was a troubled student. I 
didn’t like dancing and ballet, I couldn't 
stand all that stuff. I used to skip those 
classes and go out to the movies. But 
I worked quite hard on what I chose 
to work on. 

PLAYBOY: Did you worry much about 


technique at that time? 

HOPKINs: You have to learn to speak 
clearly, which is the British system. I can 
understand why American actors think 
that's for the birds. 

PLAYBOY: When you joined the National 
"Theater, Olivier was its director. Were 
you friends with him? 

HOPKINS: He was an old man, and I 
didn't get that close to him, but he took 
me under his wing. He liked me because 
I was a bit odd and I was pretty feisty. He 
liked physically strong people. He wasn't 
a very strong man. He had very bad legs 
and always complained about them, say- 
ing that they weren't thick enough, 
they were spindly. I was always naturally 
kind of muscular and he would come up 
and say, "God, lucky man.” He said you 
have to be strong, you have to have 
stamina. 

PLAYBOY: Did he ever give you any kind 
of advice? 

HOPKINS: Yeah, he said, “Work hard. Be 
courageous, do the impossible. Do the 
outrageous. Don’t ever be calm or tame. 
And don't waste your time doing the 
movies. You're a fine actor, you ought to 
stay in the theater for a while. Don't sell 
out, keep that training going.” But 
British actors all want to sell out now. 
They keep saying about Richard Burton 
that his life was a waste. What do you 
mean it was a waste? He did what he 
wanted to do and made a lot of money, 
married a famous movie actress and did 
some good. He certainly shook the 
rafters and made a bit of noise. 

PLAYBOY: You made a bit of noise your- 
self when you quit the National Theater 
in 1973 in the middle ofa run of Mac- 
beth. Was it a self-destructive act? 
HOPKINS: No, it was the most creative 
thing I've ever done, because it got me 
out of where I was. Unfortunately, I left 
a Jot of people in the lurch. But I just 
had to get the hell out of there. I would 
have gone under if I'd stayed. 

PLAYBOY: So it was constructive? 
HOPKINS: It was. At the time I thought, 
My God, I'm a terrible, irresponsible 
wreck and I've destroyed my career. It 
was quite a cold, calculated thing. Here I 
was being groomed to lead the company 
and I just wasn't fit for it, not intellectu- 
ally, emotionally or physically. I wasn’t 
interested in becoming a classical actor. I 
was drinking too much and I had a lot of 
fire and anger. And on top of that, I had 
this director, John Dexter, whom I later 
worked with on Equus and became good 
friends with. But at the time, 1 couldn't 
take John. So I left. I woke up at three 
A.N. and I had this voice going around in 
my head. And I thought, I'm not going 
to go back there. So I phoned up my 
agent and I said, “I'm out. I value my 
mental health, or what's left of it, more 
than I do the theater. I'll drive a taxi, I'll 
do something. I don't care." I had paint- 
ed myself into a corner. I had to make a 
break with myself and with the past. I 


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Caution: Federal law prchibits dispensing wihouta prescription. You must see a docter to receive a prescription 

| Upjohn | DERMATOLOGY (©1994 The Upjohn Company, Kalamazoo, MI 49001, USA. 
DIVISION US 1198.00 January 1994 (8-45 


put down the phone and walked across 
Green Park in London. The birds were 
singing and the cabs and buses were 
driving by and I thought, ГИ never have 
to go back again. I have no future. And 
within a few weeks, I was out in the 
desert sitting on the back of acamel with 
Leslie Caron doing QB VII for American 
TV. It was the beginning of a whole 
change in my life. 

PLAYBOY: To go from Shakespeare to a 
TV miniseries might seem like a step 
backward. But you don't see the worth 
or virtue in either the Bard or yourself, 
do you? 

HOPKINS: 1 don't like virtue and I don't 
like worthiness. I don't like valor. Why 
keep being so nice? It’s something in me, 
I can't stand that. My father couldn't 
stand all that stuff. I don't say that I'm 
not a phony. I'm as phony as everyone 
else. We're all phony. We're all charla- 
tans, we're all flawed, we're all liars. No- 
body really carries the mantle totally in 
their lives. But there's a part of it I can't 
stomach. Who gives a damn about a the- 
ater that was built 400 years ago? Who 
cares? Pave it. Who cares? It's dead stuff. 
It's like the bloody Bard. Whether this 
Lear is better than that Lear—who gives a 
damn? You're doing what 15,000 actors 
have done before you. How the hell do 
you find something new? It's a fucking 
nightmare. 

PLAYBOY: What about the claim that 
every actor should do Hamlet? 

HOPKINS: Most actors want to do Hamlet 
when they're at their craziest. I was the 
same way. I think it's a death wish. 
PLAYBOY: So actors should forget William 
Shakespeare? 

HOPKINS: I suppose it’s good to have 
done it. Гуе done quite a bit of it, but 
1 don't find it enriching. I don't like 
Shakespeare. I'd rather be in Malibu. 
PLAYBOY: You're harsh about the acting 
profession. How do you feel about your 
fellow actors? 

HOPKINS: What's so special about being 
an actor? Actors are nothing. Actors are 
of no consequence. Most actors are pret- 
ty simpleminded people who just think 
they're complicated. I remember when I 
had heard about Robert De Niro in Rag- 
ing Bull and I thought, I have to go see 
this film. I went to see it at a small the- 
ater in New York, with the smell of 
urine, and pissing, and a couple of peo- 
ple asleep. It was like that moment of 
truth: Is this what it’s all about? 
PLAYBOY: What about live theater? 
HOPKINS: I occasionally go to see a play if 
there's a friend of mine in it, and ГИ go 
backstage afterward. It's so depressing. 
There's the smell of rotting garbage 
from nearby restaurants. You look at this 
grotty, dirty little dressing room, and 
there’s the actor who looks like he’s just 
been in the ring with Mike Tyson—all 
for 15 lines. I come out in the bright 
sunshine and I think, 1 don’t have 
to do any of that. 


Is it an exercise in futility? 
HOPKINS: Yes. It’s the same with movies. 
If you can't enjoy doing what you're do- 
ing, what's the point of doing it? 
PLAYBOY: Did you enjoy your first movie, 
The Lion in Winter? 

HOPKINS: Yes, though I was just a young, 
brash, nervous actor. I had a lot of opin- 
ions about myself; you swing between 
tremendous arrogance and self-con- 
tempt. So I was pretty nervous and pret- 
ty scared and unsure of myself. But I 
loved standing in front of the camera. I 
loved working with Katharine Hepburn. 
and Peter O'Toole. I could feel a sense 
of power and a center of strength. I 
thought, I must never lose it, never let 
go of this sense of center in myself. I had 
never felt it when 


and leaned across the table and said, 
“You bastard, come outside.” I meant it, 
I was going to deck him. I didn't care. 
PLAYBOY: Did you care about what 
the critics said about your performance 
in Magic? 

HOPKINS: I don’t know why I did that 
film. They should have gone to some- 
body else, an American actor, a New 
York actor like Al Pacino. 

PLAYBOY: Critic Pauline Kael felt you 
used all the emotions of a dummy. 


HOPKINS: Who's this? Never heard of 


her. I'm always wary of knowledgeable 
people who are very critical. We have 
them in England. Jack Tinker, who is 
one of our foremost critics, works for 
one of the tabloids. It's the most irritat- 


onstage. 
PLAYBOY: Didn't Katha- 
rinc Hepburn advise 
you not to overact? 

HOPKINS: No, she 
said, "You don't need 
to do anything. You'll 
understand, just re- 
lax." Then she said, 
"You don't have to 
act. You have a good 
voice, you look good, 
you have a big frame, 
youll look good on 
film. Don't act. ГИ do 
the acting. I'm always 
overacüng, that’s the 
way I аш. But you 
don't need to do 
that." She was right. 

PLAYBOY: Did you 
know Peter O"Toole 


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control? 
HOPKINS: No, I give them five minutes. 
I'm not going to put up with that. It's 
not that important. None of this has any 
consequence at all. And dubbing, edit- 
ing, all that bullshit—do your job, go 
home. If somebody asks me, “Do you 
want to be involved in the development 
of this production?” I say, “No, give me 
the script, point the way to the studio 
and show me the camera and I'll do it.” I 
have no interest in developing, in pro- 
ducing, in directing anything. 
PLAYBOY: One television miniseries you 
did, Hollywood Wives, was a mess. Why 
did you do it? 
HOPKINS: Just for a laugh. I was living in 
England and I want- 
ed to spend some 
time in Los Ange- 
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had some wild times 
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PLAYBOY: How wild? 
HOPKINS: There were 
fights. 

PLAYBOY: Physical or verbal? 

HOPKINS: O'Toole and I, both smashed, 
were ready to beat each other up. He 
was mad. He drank as much as I did and 
probably more, and he had that kind of 
yearning zest for life. He hated the 
Welsh. I didn't give a damn about race— 
Welsh, Irish, it’s all the same to me. A lot 
of Welsh people are anti-English. I've 
got no bones to grind, I told O'Toole. He 
said, “You're like that other Welsh bas- 
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misfit. Play the piano and all that stuft, 
and you're a stargazer.” Because I like 
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mance. It’s all bullshit, all these endless 
analyses of films. 

PLAYBOY: You found Shirley MacLaine 
intolerable when you worked together 
in A Change of Seasons. What was the 
problem? 

HOPKINS: We didn’t get along too well. 
We didn’t speak to each other. She didn’t 
like me. She's very clever and talented, 
but she likes to run everything, she likes 
control. That's OK, but 1 can't be both- 
ered with that circus. You have one di- 
rector, you don't need three. You don't 
need the actress telling you what to do. 
PLAYBOY: Have you considered working 
with someone like Barbra Streisand, 


A 
The Innovative Edge” 


and looked at movies 
and the Olympic 
Games and the days 
of the Third Reich, 
seeing him standing 
there speaking, “Sieg 
Heil." What a dream 
that must have been for him and for 
those corrupt men around him. And for 
the 70 million German people on their 
feet saying that their savior had come. 
That's what they believed. I read Mein 
Kampf closely—the genocide policy, it 
was there, it was self-evident. With the 
Russian tanks moving in and with Ger- 
many's falling into rubble, he must have 
felt a tremendous sense of betrayal, that 
the people had let him down. I knew so 
much about Hitler, and I also knew the 
old man in him. He's sort of a Lear 
figure: the decrepit old man in the 
bunker with the loss of his dream; the 
greatest dictator in the world ruling over 
a million square miles of rubble and 
ruin. Extraordinary. I understood his 


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need for sweet cakes and his tea parties. 
I styled Hitler after my own grandfather 
on my father’s side, who was a bit of a 
tyrant. He was self-educated and full of 
all kinds of extraordinary opinions and 
philosophical insights. He was Victorian 
and had a hard life. But he was hard as 
nails, confused, frustrated, powerful and 
a sentimental ogre. Which Hitler was, as 
well. But my grandfather didn't kill any- 
one. He wasn’t responsible for the death 
of millions of people. 
PLAYBOY: You have also played other 
frighteningly evil men, onstage in Prav- 
and on-screen as Hannibal Lecter in 
The Silence of the Lambs. Why the fascina- 
tion with the dark side? 
HOPKINS: I've played bright people and 
monstrous people. In 
Pravda 1 played a 
man called Lambert 
Le Roux who was a 
male version of Mar- 
garet Thatcher. He 
was like Jaus, in the 
way sharks move 
This man knew ex- 
actly what price peo- 
ple had, and he knew 
that everyone had a 
price. I loved playing 
that part because he 
saw through all the 


bullshit. He knew 
that contained in 
each human bi i 


the jungle. Thats а 
pretty bleak look at 
life, but there is a 
part that is exciting. 
Lecter also sees the 
jungle inside each 
human being, he sees 
the dark side. It's a 
ühilisic truth and 
it's a Nietzschean 
view of the world. 
PLAYBOY: Before you 
filmed The Silence of 
the Lambs, Jonathan 
Demme said he was 
initially repelled by 
the idea of doing a 
film about a serial 
Killer, Did you feel that way as well? 
HOPKINS: No. I didn’t think it was an ex- 
ploitation movie. It was a well-construct- 
ed thriller. I had no qualms about play- 
ing Lecter, because he's a piece of fiction, 
a product of the imagination. A bizarre, 
strange, intriguing character. 

PLAYBOY: Were you concerned at all 
about the glorification of violence, that 
someone might see the film and be 
influenced by it? 

HOPKINS: No, I didn’t think it glorified 
violence. The cinemas are full of violent 
films. Like Rambo and Texas Chainsaw 
Massacre and Schwarzenegger movies. 
They are very violent and dehumaniz- 
ing. Schwarzencgger's stuff is antihu- 
man, antihumanity: The human being is 


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turned into a machine state. They are 
entertaining, but there’s something al- 
most fascist, something odd, about them. 
But they are also very camp. 

PLAYBOY: Did you see the film as a 
strange kind of fairy tale? 

HOPKINS: Yes. The story’s about Clarice, 
it's not about me. Its some strange, 
Gothic fairy tale that she’s sent out by the 
king to kill the monster. There's an evil 
scourge on the land and he says, “Slay 
the dragon. But you have to talk to the 
prime dark angel.” She goes down into 
the bowels of hell and meets this dark 
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figure, the angel of death. He makes her 
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PLAYBOY: Why are evil men often sexy? 
HOPKINS: Power. Evil has its own power. 
Power is erotic. Remember when Henry 
Kissinger was secretary of state and he 
had all those women and young girls 
around? Politicians are powerful and di- 
rectors are powerful. People who run in- 
dustries are powerful. They are erotic 
symbols. Power is sex. Richard ІП is sex. 
I don't think Hitler was sexy, but people 
used to have orgasms when he spoke. 
PLAYBOY: Are we drawn to these people 
because we all have a darker side? 
HOPKINS: We would all like to be ma- 
chinelike and have no emotions. I long 
for it all the time. Have no emotions so 
that I could make no mistakes and be ice 
cold. I'd love to be like that, but I can't. 


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I'm trapped in my own personality, 
which is constantly getting me into areas 
that I don't want to be in. I long to be 
somebody who is ice cold, brutal, tough 
and uncompromising. Of course, I'd 
probably hate myself. 

PLAYBOY: When will we sec a sequel to 
The Silence of the Lambs? 

HOPKINS: I asked Jonathan, “Is there any 
" And he said, “Well, Tom Harris is 
writing. He’s a slow writer.” 

PLAYBOY: Who else would play a good 
Lecter? 

HOPKINS: Jack Nicholson. When 1 got 
the part, I wondered why they gave 
it to me. 

PLAYBOY: The film’s success had to have 
affected you in some way. 

HOPKINS: Yes, it 
broke box-office rec- 
ords in the West End. 
I went with a friend 
and we sat in the car 
across the road. I 
looked at the lines of 


crache, fade or go dead when you people and I saw my 
move only a few feet from the base? name up there and 
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Digital Spread Spectrum technology. Nothing changes. I 
Theresult? A cordless phone with vastly look in the mirror, 
= 2 and the same boring 
рне ыу " face is looking back 
hen only ДУ, PLAYBOY: Yet that 


boring face has been 
transformed into the 
face of monsters, 
madmen and tyrants 
Have these roles giv- 
en you insights in- 
to other levels of 
humanity? 

HOPKINS: Yes. It’s in- 
teresting watching 
people in power. Like 
watching Saddam 
Hussein, watching 
his whole body move- 
ment when some- 
body goes to meet 
him. When he went 
to the hospital after 
the Iragis were bombed in that hotel, 
you saw a soldier’s reaction. It was as if 
he were standing before some colossus, 
some monster figure, some bogeyman. 
Watch people with Hitler, watch people 
with powerful people, i's the same 
thing. When Saddam Hussein is talking, 
he doesn't actually look at the people 
he's vith. He makes the other people 
around him invisible. Olivier had that 
quality and Francis Coppola has a bit of 
it. Powerful people have a way of making 
other people feel invisible. They have 
the power to ignore people—thar's the 
way they rule. 

PLAYBOY: John Huston was like that. 
HOPKINS: I’m sure he was. A lot of direc- 
tors are, a lot of moguls are. It’s a 


57 


PLAYBOY 


58 


dangerous area when directors start to 
feel their power: keeping people wait- 
ing, not answering their phones, turning 
up late. Gandhi said that being late is an 
act of violence, an act of terrorism, be- 
cause it unnerves people. I think rude- 
ness is a real spit in the face. There's a lot 
of rudeness in this business. It’s one of 
the most insufferable parts of it. So when 
I direct, I go the other way to be kind to 
people, because to с: people feel 
they're anonymous—to reduce them to 
numbers, to unimportance—is unspeak- 
able. I've watched it happen. Actors and 
directors are fucking horrible. It puts 
me in an intolerant rage. 

PLAYBOY: You've accused such British di- 
rectors as Peter Brook, Tony Richardson 
and Ken Russell of using actors as pup- 
pets. Is that how you still feel? 

HOPKINS: Yeah. I have no love for them 
at all. Richardson was one of the worst. 
Those directors, I hate them. I don't un- 
derstand why actors don't stand up for 
themselves when they're being abused 
by some directors. Why not stand up 
and fight against maniacs? I fight it, I 
don't put up with it. I won't work. I hate 
directors who interfere, pass notes. If 
you have monsters, I don’t care how 
great they are, it’s not worth getting out 
of bed in the morning. I've walked out of 
two films. One was with some British 
jerk director who was crying in rage be- 
cause 1 dared challenge him. Because I 


don't give a shit about my career. I don't 
like anyone bullying other people. On 
Dracula an assistant director shouted at 
the cameraman and 1 stopped and said, 
“Is a concentration camp you're 
running here? Don't shout in front of 
me, just go fuck yourself, keep out of my 
way" I don't want to be a hero, I don't 
want to be everyone's champion, but if T 
see it, I'll stop it. I won't put up with it. 
I'm glad my anger is alive and healthy, 
because I don’t want to become too 
docile. 

PLAYBOY: When you now have to portray 
anger, do you just think of a few direc- 
tors and it comes back? 

HOPKINS: Yeah. I must say that 90 per- 
cent of the film directors I've worked 
with have been terrific. The theater is a 
different story. That's the breeding 
ground of such fabulous bullshit. Intel- 
lectual bullshit. These directors come 
straight out of Cambridge University 
with new innovations about Shake- 
speare. Hamlet dressed up as а Nazi. It's 
wanking, you know. 

PLAYBOY: Don't some actors see the direc- 
tor as a father figure? 

HOPKINS: Oh, 1 can't stand it. Think of 
the history of the human species. Think 
of the knowledge that has been brought 
forward about people's rights not to be 
controlled by other people. From na- 
tional histories, the Holocaust, brutality, 
war, to the shop floor. Nobody can have 


power over you. 1 don't understand why 
we still put up with this bullshit. If you 
let these sharks get at you, they'll tear 
your innards out. They'll destroy you. 
Why bother with these people? 

PLAYBOY: You mentioned the power of 
Francs Coppola. What kind of tyrant 
was he when you were filming Dracula? 
HOPKINS: Francis is an enormous per- 
sonality. He's charismatic, a controller, a 
dictator and a tyrant in his way. I say all 
these things with a positive feeling. The 
Godfather was one of the greatest films 
made and Apocalypse Now is a big, sprawl- 
ing film of epic proportions. I watched 
him in that documentary about the mak- 
ing of Apocalypse. There he was in the 
swamps, up to his chest in water, direct- 
ing the helicopter. This isn't a man cov- 
ered in Gucci leather sitting in an office 
in Burbank. This man puts his money 
where his mouth is. 

PLAYBOY: Were you pleased with the way 
Dracula turned out? 

HOPKINS: It was a big, bold film. I've nev- 
er seen anything like it. The only criti- 
cism I would have is. if I were Francis. 1 
wouldn't do so much. He threw too 
much on the screen. Га just say, “Right, 
we don't need all these shots.” But that's 
the way he works. When he makes pasta, 
he puts everything in it. He's an exces 
sive person with huge appetites, 
PLAYBOY: Was it Winona Ryder who sug- 
gested you for the part? 


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HOPKINS: Yes, she did. Coppola told me 
that Winona had brought the Dracula 
script to him, and she wanted me. She's 
amazing. At 22 years of age, she has an 
extraordinary brain. She's extremely 
well read and knows herself. 
PLAYBOY: Is it true that you are very 
uncomfortable in the presence of young 
and accomplished 
actresses? 
HOPKINS: I can nev- 
er really relax, e 
pecially with ac- 
tresses. І met Meryl 
Streep in London 
and she paid me 
at compliments 
and I didn't know 
what to do or say. 
So when 1 get 
frightened, 1 give 
them a hug and I 
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mad. I felt it was hopeless and I wanted 
to end it all. My life was beginning to fall 
to pieces. I was a damn nuisance to be 
around. 

PLAYBOY: Did you drink while you were 
acting? 

HOPKINS: No, but I may as well have 
been drinking, because I was so hung 


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give up booze? 
HOPKINS: Yeah, initially. But 1 didn't 
care, I just wanted to get that monkey off 
my back. 

PLAYBOY: Is that when you found Alco- 
holics Anonymous? 

HOPKINS: You can’t print that name, 
you know. 

PLAYBOY: Why not? 

HOPKINS: You have 
to respect the 
anonymity of the 
tradition. So you 
mustn't print that. 1 
would be very an- 
gry if you were to 
print that. 

PLAYBOY: This won't 
be the first time that 
name has seen 
print. The more im- 
portant issue is why 
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PLAYBOY: And what 
about young actors, 
such as Dracula's 
Gary Oldman? 
HOPKINS: Gary Old- 
man is an exciting 
actor, He reminds 
me of the way I 
was some years 
ago. He's obsessive, 
which is good so 
long as it doesn’t 
destroy him. I hope 
Гуе grown out of 
that obsession, be- 
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PLAYBOY: Didn't you 
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the wheel. I was 
intoxicated and 1 
came back to Los 
Angeles and just 
reached my миз 
end. I could have 
killed somebody 
with my car. 
PLAYBOY: You could 
have died as well. 


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he's functioning, 
he’s alive. If any- 
thing, Gary has to 
calm down a bit. 

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madness and obses- 
sions coincided with your drinking 
years. How big a drinker were you? 

HOPKINS: I was a problem drinker. I 
drank for 15 years, which is not long, I 
had done severe damage to myself, I'd 
put on weight. I had done more damage 
to my emotional equipment. I was just 
very shaky and thought 1 was going 


over and intoxicated. You can function 
well while drinking. I did it quite 
successfully. 

PLAYBOY: How long has it been since you 
last had a drink? 

HOPKINS: Seventeen years. 

PLAYBOY: Did you ever worry that you 
would lose your edge if you were to 


feeling of being an 
outsider. When you take drugs or booze 
it makes you fit in for a while. That's why 
it's so attractive. Booze is just narcotics in 
a bottle. It’s a depressant. And anything 
you can get to fix you is an addiction. 
Whether it’s sex or food or work or suc- 
cess, if it becomes a fixation then it’s an 
addiction and you become dependent 


59 


PLAYBOY 


60 


on that addiction. It can ruin your life. 
PLAYBOY: What about other drugs, such 
as marijuana or acid? 

HOPKINS: No, I never messed with that 
stuff. But I have had enough tequila in 
me to know what an acid wip is like. 
PLAYBOY: Was your drinking part of 
the cause of the failure of your first 
marriage? 

HOPKINS: I don't want to talk about that. 
PLAYBOY: At all? 

HOPKINS: Nope. It’s over. It was my 
problem. My fault. We produced one 
child from that and got divorced. 
PLAYBOY: We don't know much about it. 
HOPKINS: I don't want you to know any- 
thing. It's over. 

PLAYBOY: Can we talk at all about your 
daughter? 

HOPKINS: No. Because she's changed her 
name. She wants to get on with her 
career. 

PLAYBOY: Are you friends with her? 
HOPKINS: Oh, yeah, I saw her just re- 
cently, but that's over as well. You're not 
going to get anything out of me. I'm 
keeping to myself the personal parts of 
my life that would be painful to my ex- 
wife and daughter. I accept full responsi- 
bility. It was something that didn’t work. 
It's over. 

PLAYBOY: Didn't you once play a charac- 
ter in The Good Father who had to vent his 
rage against his wife? 

HOPKINS: Yes, I did. The director, Mike 
Newell, was a complex man. He wanted 
to talk about the part and degrees of 
rage and anger. 1 said, “Listen, let's just 
shoot it. I know all about anger.” He 
said, “Yeah, but let's talk about it.” And I 
said, “No, look, 1 bring the child back, I 
dump him on the mother. She slams the 
door in my face and I kick the door, 
that's it. There's nothing about degrees 
of anger. | know this man inside out and 
backward; he’s me. I’ve done all these 
things, I've been through a marriage, 
Гуе been through a disastrous divorce. Г 
have all that violence in me, so let’s just 
do it.” So we did. 

During one scene in that movie I 
broke down, which 1 had never done be- 
fore. I've always been in charge of my 
emotions, but I broke down. I had 
walked out of my first marriage, which 
was a disaster, and I Jeft my child, Abi- 
gail. I felt ashamed and angry with my- 
self. It's the first time I acknowledged 
that anything had any ties on me, be- 
cause Гуе always tried to deny emotion. 
Itshook me. 

PLAYBOY: So your personal life intruded 
on your life of make-believe? 

HOPKINS: Yes. I’m stunned by the hurt 
the children go through over divorces, 
with their innocence and with adult stu- 
pidity. It hurt me that Га been irrespon- 
sible. But 1 wasn't fit for marriage or to 
bring up a family. 

PLAYBOY: How old was your child when 
you were playing this role? 

HOPKINS: About 15, 16 maybe. She has a 


small part in The Remains of the Day. She's 
a good actress, 

PLAYBOY: Did she ask you to get her 
a part? 

HOPKINS: No, I just went to the produc- 
er and said, "I'd like my daughter to do 
this. What do you think?” 

PLAYBOY: Did she have any problem 
with that? 

HOPKINS: No, she loved it. 

PLAYBOY: Do you give her advice? 
HOPKINS: No. When we were on the set 
together I stayed away. She changed her 
name so they didn’t know who she was. 
We were іп a scene together. She's one of 
the housemaids and she’s with my father 
as he’s dying and she wakes him up 
when I come into the room. She said, “I 
was nervous.” And I put my arm around 
her and said, “You looked terrific, it 
was great.” 

PLAYBOY: You've said seeing her was like 
seeing yourself in drag. 

HOPKINS: We do look a little alike, but 
she has all the burning questions I had. 
She's much smarter than I am. She's 
very determined 

PLAYBOY: How long did it take for you to 


“Tt hurt me that 
Td been irresponsible. 
But I wasn't fit for 
marriage or to bring 
up a family." 


become friends? Was that a difficult 
process? 

HOPKINS: We got close a few years ago 
and she came and stayed with us. She 
was doing her own numbers, playing 
some sorts of scenes for herself, trying to 
impress me or being manipulative. I 
said, forget it. I just withdrew. I always 
withdraw from people. I try not to let 
people absorb too much of my energy. 
Once people start latching on to me and 
try to draw things out of me and control 
me, I wave them goodbye, sometimes 
forever, and I won't go back. I don’t like 
being controlled by anyone. 

PLAYBOY: But when it comes to your own 
daughter, don’t you make certain al- 
lowances? Clearly you two have had a 
reconciliation. 

HOPKINS: ] was quite prepared to go into 
the wilderness without her. I was pre- 
pared not to see her again. It doesn't 
matter to me, you see. We have to be 
tough and callous about it all, live our 
lives. It's a selfish way of looking at i 
І don't have a conscience. I suppose it's a 
bit indifferent. 

PLAYBOY: Do you have contact with her 


mother as well? 
HOPKINS: No. After our scene together I 
wrote to her mother and her grand- 
mother and said, "She did really well at 
this and I'm so pleased for her" But 
that's it. 
PLAYBOY: Your second marriage has last- 
ed for 20 years. How did you meet Jen- 
nifer Lynton? 
HOPKINS: I was up in Scotland for a film 
called When Fight Bells Toll and she was 
working for the production company. I 
arrived at the airport worse for wear, 
having had a few drinks on a late 
ріапе--Га missed the other one—and 
her boss said, “One of our actors is miss- 
ing and he's probably going to turn up 
on the next flight; could you go down 
and meet him and give him his call 
sheets for tomorrow morning? He's a bit 
of a nuisance. His name is Tony Hop- 
kins.” And as I got off the plane she was 
there and as soon as she saw me she 
thought, That's him. I’m going to marry 
him. And then she took an instant dislike 
to me. I was rude, like lots of actors. 
PLAYBOY: Did you even notice her? 
HOPKINS: Nope. And a few weeks later I 
was at a party and I asked her out. She 
wrote toa friend of hers and said, “I met 
an actor named Anthony Hopkins and 
he was quite offensive, but I feel drawn 
to him in some strange way.” 
PLAYBOY: Are you uncomfortable with 
your former intensity? 
HOPKINS: Yes, I am. I want to forget it. It 
was a stage in my life when I was very 
unattractive, very tiresome. It sounds 
weird, but everything to do with act- 
ing—the intensity of acting, the mean- 
ing, the importance of this to me now— 
is incomprehensible. My whole attitude 
about it has changed drastically in the 
past couple of years. The whole acting 
business has changed. It’s work, it’s a 
job, it's something I do quite well and I 
enjoy it. It doesn't consume my brain, it 
doesn't eat me up. I show up and do 
what's in front of me. It's the only way I 
can function. 
PLAYBOY: Are you a changed man? 
HOPKINS: It's like having slipped off the 
edge. I feel a sort of emptiness; there's 
no resistance for me. I've done a few 
television interviews lately, and I was 
looking at myself. If I were someone 
else watching this man, I would have 
thought, What an extraordinary attitude 
to his work. Because I feel detached 
from it. It's as if all my ambition is gone 
I'm not comfortable talking about this. It 
leaves me puzzled, as if to say, “What im- 
portance is any of this?” It’s of no conse- 
quence at all to me. 
PLAYBOY: Still, to get an insight into 
who you are, we have to look at who 
you were. 
HOPKINS: The only negative or violent 
emotion I feel is that I get scared when 1 
get cornered by the intensity of this busi- 
ness, by people who say, “You have to do 
(continued on page 155) 


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MASTERS AND JOHNSON: 
ADULTERY 


IN THEIR LATEST BOOK, 
“HETEROSEXUALITY,” 
AMERICA’S LEADING 
SEX RESEARCHERS 
TAKE A CLOSE 

LOOK AT 

AFFAIRS 


XTRAMARITAL SEX hasn't disap- 
peared in the Nineties. In fact, there is little evidence that participation 
in extramarital sex has even slowed down a notch in the age of AIDS. 
Reflecting this reality, affairs are the regular subject of movies, televi- 
sion shows and novels. In many ways, it seems as though America is ob- 
sessed with extramarital sex. 

Most married conples claim to believe in the value of monogamy, but 
a sizable number of married men and women stray from this ideal. Var- 
ious estimates suggest that anywhere from 26 percent to 66 percent of 
married American men and 18 percent to 69 percent of married Amer- 
ican women have had extramarital sex. And, according to another 
group of researchers, 90 percent of the wives in a sample who suspect- 
ed their husbands of straying outside the marriage were correct in 
their assumptions, while 87 percent of the husbands who thought their 
wives had had extramarital experiences were accurate. Our own find- 
ings support those results, though there are many instances where one 
or more affairs have occurred but are unsuspected by the spouse. How- 
ever, stark statistics don't do much to illuminate the subject beyond 
suggesting that extramarital sex can hardly be considered unusual or 
abnormal behavior. 

Unlike some authorities, we do not see all extramarital sex as inher- 
ently destructive. While we certainly agree that extramarital sex can be 
a divisive (and frequently explosive) issue, there are also many situa- 
tions in which its positive aspects outweigh its negatives by a wide mar- 
gin. Affairs can help keep a marriage together by reducing sexual ten- 
sion, which in turn can lessen other forms of marital conflict. Affairs 
sometimes turn out to be personal growth experiences. Affairs don't al- 
ways provide better sex or more happiness than a marriage; because 
of this, they can help a person appreciate the quality of his or her 
marriage at a time when this may have been in question. Perhaps, 
paradoxically, affairs sometimes lead to а rejuvenation of sex within a 


ARTICLE BY 

WILLIAM MASTERS 
VIRGINIA JOHNSON 
ann ROBERT KOLODNY 


ILLUSTRATION BY RAFAL OLBINSKI 


PLAYBOY 


marriage, so in this sense they may ac- 
tually contribute to marital satisfaction. 

Our willingness to see that extramar- 
ital involvements can have a positive 
side should not be taken as a whole- 
hearted endorsement of such behavior. 
We are firmly convinced that the down 
side of extramarital sex usually looms 
larger than any potential benefits 
that can be objectively ascribed to this 
situation. 


TYPES OF AFFAIRS. 


As a matter of convenience, we will 
designate affairs that last less than six 
months as short-term. In this category 
come situation-specific affairs, which 
are typically one-night stands or short- 
term liaisons that arise because the op- 
portunity presents itself as convenient 
and alluring rather than as a result of 
premeditation. Other common types of 
short-term affairs (in addition to the 
ones that are situation-specific) include 
those we can label as anger-revenge af- 
fairs and predivorce affairs. 

Situation-specific affairs share sever- 
al other common features. For exam- 
ple, they are kindled by alcohol use 
more than any other type of affair. Al- 
cohol provides just enough loosening 
of ordinary social inhibitions that many 
individuals who were not actively on 
the prowl for extramarital sex acqui- 
esce to the intrigne of the simation far 
more readily than they would have 
done while stone-cold sober. Another 
frequent element of situation-specific 
affairs is that they generally have a low 
probability of being discovered, which 
adds some obvious luster to their ap- 
peal. In large part, this stems from two 
facts: These affairs usually involve 
strangers (or someone who isn't in the 
spouse’s circle of friends or acquain- 
tances), and they often occur some dis- 
tance from one’s home. For these rea- 
sons, the situation-specific affair carries 
less baggage than other affairs. The 
simplicity of such affairs fulfills whatev- 
er requirements the two participants 
bring to bed with them. 

From our research, we believe that at 
least a quarter of participants in these 
brief, unplanned affairs are either ab- 
solute neophytes or have had limited 
experience with extramarital sexual in- 
volvement. Consider this account from 
a repentant 30-year-old minister whose 
wife was home in Atlanta with the kids 
while he was attending a religious sem- 
inar in Washington, D.C.: “I have al- 
ways been a person who tries to prac- 
tice what he preaches, to put it in kind 
of trite terms, so 1 am very ashamed of 
what I'm about to tell you. After eight 
years ofa completely happy marriage, 
after having gently turned down se- 
ductive congregants on dozens of occa- 


sions, and after having sworn to myself 
that I could resist any temptation that 
was thrown my way, 1 was shocked to 
find out that I was much weaker than I 
ever could have imagined. Here’s what 
happened; I went out to dinner with a 
group of six or seven people who were 
at this seminar. When we went back to 
the hotel, we went into the bar for 
more conversation. Looking back, I 
had had a few glasses of wine at dinner; 
at the bar, I had another drink or two. 
Suddenly, there were just three of us 
sitting there—a teacher from Okla- 
homa, a woman from Ohio and me. 
The teacher got up and excused him- 
self, and this woman—this very attrac- 
tive woman—asked if I wouldn't keep 
her company while she finished her 
drink. Gallant person that I am, I 
agreed. Before I realized what was 
happening, she was rubbing my leg 
with her foot and running her moist 
tongue around her lips over and over 
again. 1 was on fire, and all I could 
think about was having her douse my 
flame. We got to her room in about 20 
seconds, and we jumped on each other 
before I could even catch my breath. 
Now, I’m not blaming her in any way. I 
was a completely willing participant. 
But the next morning when I woke up, 
1 felt like I had lost my head complete- 
ly. I have never gotten up the courage 
to tell my wife what happened. It's just 
something 1 chalk up to experience, 
and something that I hope has taught 
me a lesson.” 

Anger-revenge affairs are also apt to 
be short-lived, though there are excep- 
tions that have considerable staying 
power. Revenge affairs can be seen par- 
ticularly among women who have no 
interest in the intricacies and logistical 
planning that a string of affairs in- 
volves. For them, the convenience of a 
once-a-week or once-a-month lover is a 
good trade-off for one who might be 
more attractive or exciting. For anyone 
choosing an affair primarily as a means 
of venting anger or getting back at a 
spouse for real or imagined injustices, 
the sex itself has a different sort of 
meaning than in most other affairs. 
“Look at how I'm degrading myself” 
is often just a transparent way of say- 
ing, “Look how I'm degrading you” 
to an inattentive or hostile spouse. 
Consider the following 34-year-old 
artist’s plight—and her solution: “I’m 
just a normal sort of woman with nor- 
mal needs and wants. I thought I hada 
pretty normal marriage. But my hus- 
band turned into such a fanatical 
fitness nut, with two hours a day of 
running and another hour a day at his 
office health club, that my place was 
more like the cook and trainer for the 
Olympic team than his wife. I had to 
make special vitamin-wheat-germ-egg- 


white concoctions. I had to wash the 
hamburger meat to eliminate fat. 1 had 
to get up at 5:30 in the morning so he 
could have his morning run. And with 
all of this training, he fell asleep by 9:00 
every night. I became so angry when 
Bill escalated his training to 80 miles of 
roadwork a week that I wanted a di- 
vorce. Instead, I got back at him by 
starting an affair with one of his bud- 
dies, one who was happy to stay home 
and have sex instead of pounding the 
pavement in the pouring rain.” 

Predivorce affairs are more like test 
flights—forays into the world of sex 
outside marriage as a prelude to mak- 
ing the final decision to terminate an 
already shaky relationship. Predivorce 
affairs allow a man or a woman to ex- 
amine several critical issues: Am I real- 
ly missing something in my marriage, 
or is everyone’s sex pretty much the 
same as mine? Can I function ade- 
quately with a new partner? What sex- 
ual and relationship issues will I face 
after I get divorced? 

Long-term affairs serve a broader 
range Of purposes and, in general, as- 
sume greater complexity. Long-term 
affairs commonly fall into the following 
categories: Marriage maintenance af- 
fairs, hedonistic affairs, cathartic af- 
fairs, intimacy reduction affairs, kinky 
affairs and reactive affairs. 

Marriage maintenance affairs are 
convenient arrangements that provide 
a key ingredient that is missing from 
one or the other partner's marriage. 
By supplying this much-needed ele- 
ment, the affair actually stabilizes the 
marriage and makes a breakup less 
likely. The missing element may be the 
same for both people—for example, 
it may be a willingness to experi- 
ment with sex—but frequently the af- 
fair provides different ingredients to 
the participants in a mutually bene- 
ficial exchange. 

Although common wisdom has it 
that affairs often lead to marital disso- 
lution, we have encountered hundreds 
of marriages held together and soli- 
dified by affairs. Generally, they fell in 
the category of marriage maintenance 
affairs. As several people have told us, 
these affairs are cheaper and more in- 
teresting than going to a marriage 
counselor. 

Hedonistic affairs focus on the sex- 
ual and sensual action. They are pure 
and straightforward demonstrations of 
Freud's pleasure principle: They rarely 
lead to emotional entanglements and 
generally avoid the recriminations and 
ambiguities of other types of affairs 
that have a more driving focus. For 
those who are able to regard sex as a 
form of recreation—a term we do not 

(continued on page 152) 


“You're right, Sergei—Catherine is great!” 


65 


66 


reat Vex 


using the power of imagination to counter the scourge of our times 


Photography B, Michel‘ Ge 


= 
= 


=> 


ESIRE DOES NOT RETREAT. Despite the fear, political infighting, finger-pointing and ignorance 
that mark the second decade of an AIDS epidemic, our bodies are still here: Skin is eager 
for intimacy, lips yearn for contact. We feel the way people have always felt, wishing for the 
same sexual fulfillment and for passion to transform our days with magic, even as we work 
through a dilemma that is unique to our times. 
Our society worships bodies. We are obsessive about sex. But right now, ignorance of AIDS is an 


MARTINA JONES (above): The daughter of music mogul Quincy Jones revels in an embrace. UBBY 
EDELMAN (right): The shoe and clothing impresario of Sam & Libby frolics barefoot on the beach. 


“Everybody has his invitation to death. In the face of it all, intimacy 
must continue. The immediate solution? Educa- 


or her own fantasy tion mixed with a heady dose of imagination. If 
you can imagine hot sex, then you can imagine— 

about the pictures and have—hot safe sex. 
Into the continuum that links imagination and 
we should do.” education comes Michel Comte, a Swiss-born 
photographer who is 2 household name in both 
—MICHEL COMTE haute couture and art galleries. He seeks to cut 
through the rhetoric about safe sex and to raise 
. our awareness—both of the consequences of our 


acts and of the glorious possibilities through 
the photographs that you see on these pages. 

“Т have lost a lot of friends to AIDS," says Comte, a friendly, soft-spoken man 
whose face is worn from shooting more than 200 days on this project since 1992. 
"It's а hard thing to talk about. But with all the things that are not being done 
about AIDS worldwide, I thought it would be important to start reaching people 
with a project that goes a little farther than just next door.” 

PLAYBOY sparked Comte's photographic work by offering a donation to the 


On this page, SOFIA COPPOLA, wearing the sheer chemise, reclines in bed with 
ZOE CASSAVETES (daughter of John Cassavetes and Gena Rowlands) and pono- 
VAN LEITCH (son of the singer Donovan). Opposite page: Actress SONIA BRAGA. 


“The most important 
thing is to support AIDS 
research. I wish there were 
a scientist whose neck 
I could rub once 
in a while.” 
—-SONIA BRAGA 


“There’s nothing I enjoy more 


than buying condoms.” 


—SANDRA BERNHARD 


American Foundation for AIDS Re- 
search—a nonprofit, nongovern- 
mental agency that channels chari- 
table donations to research projects 
all over the U.S.—in exchange for a 
first look at the photo essay. 

"Ive been thinking about this 
project for a long time,” says Comte. 
“PLAYBOY is an ideal place to launch 
it because it’s a magazine about sex 
that is presentable in everybody's 
living room. PLAYBOY was a good 
partner to start this with.” 

This was precisely the working 
arrangement Comte had sougl 
and he has since duplicated it in 
other ways. He donates his time to 
create intimate portraits that com- 
ment on safe sex. The photos are 
then auctioned, sold, featured in 
magazines or put on exhibit—all in 
return for donations to AIDS foun- 
dations, pediatric AIDS progra 
and hospices worldwide. 

Many of those who worked on the 
Project with Comte point out that 
this is more than a feel-good exer- 
cise, more than a chance to raise 
awareness, more than art. People 
with AIDS and those who have test- 
ed positive for HIV need hands-on 
care, and the entire global commu- 
nity is searching for a cure. Both of 
these things will take money, and 
Comte's project is designed to put 
resources directly into the hands of 


KELLY LYNCH (opposite page, top), 
of “Drugstore Cowboy”; MARIEL 
HEMINGWAY (opposite page, bottom), 
of television’s “Civil Wars”; the 
model DOMINIQUE COMTE (above); 
stand-up gal and condom connois- 
seur SANDRA BERNHARD (right). 


“Love yourself 
first, the rest 
will follow.” 


— ММ! ROGERS 


scientists and doctors, so they won't 
have to waste precious time screaming 
at deaf bureaucracies. 

“The most important thing right 
now is to support AIDS research,” says 
Brazilian actress Sonia Braga, best 
known for her star turn in the movie 
Kiss of the Spider Woman. She was an ea- 
ger enlistee for Comte's cause. “I hope 
the scientists know we totally depend 
on them and support them. They are 
so focused, they must be in the labs 24 
hours a day. I wish there were a scien- 
tist whose neck I could rub once in 
a while. 

"Since I'm not a scientist,” the actress 
continues, “all I can do is help raise 
money and raise consciousness, to 
make sure that the politicians become 
involved. Everyone should be partici- 
pating in this cause as a part of day-to- 
day life, because it affects men, women 
and children. We all want to make love, 
we wantto feel good, and we all want to. 
help our friends, so AIDS is a big 
threat.” 

What started as a shoot for PLAYBOY 
has blossomed into a project almost 
bigger than Comte can grasp. Once 
word got out, people were enthusiastic 
about getting involved. To date, he has 
photographed more than 190 men and 
women, about half of them celebrities. 
‘The rest were found through friends 
or through chance encounters or were 
recruited from schools and even gangs 
from East L.A. 

The model Jenny Shimizu, whose ca- 
reer was launched through her partici- 
pation in Comte’s project, was one 
such recruit. “The minute I walked in- 
to his studio, it was just spontaneous. 
Within five minutes, we started shoot- 
ing. He made me feel very comfortable 
in all of the pictures. It was the first roll 
of film I had ever posed for.” 

Asked what she hopes to achieve 
through the project, she says: “I hope 
to change people’s perceptions about 
AIDS. The disease is horrible, and it is 
ravaging physical human bodies. But 
at the same time, we need to remember 
that there are so many people who care 
about what's going on, who are striving 
to help find the cure. Once people 
see all the others who are involved, 


MIMI ROGERS (this page, appearing 
with a friend), of “The Rapture.” 
Model HELENA CHRISTIANSEN (right). 


74 


“If you practice safe sex, 
you can have great sex 
and enjoy life.” 
—JENNY SHIMIZU 


. 


then they are all going to jump on 
the bandwagon.” 

“Гуе tried not to make it a campaign 
about death,” says Comte. "I've tried to 
make it positive. It encourages people 
to have sex and to be safe. Some of the 
pictures are very hard-core.” 

The result has been a contemporary 
Portrait of the sexual reaction to AIDS 
and an overwhelming affirmation of 
deeper and more satisfying sex. 

“Life is still rich, and sex should 
be abundant and sensitive,” says Jeff 
Koons, a painter and sculptor who 
worked for several weeks on portraits 
with Comte. “It is important that peo- 
ple don't feel that practicing safe sex 
restricts pleasure.” 

No one needs to convince actress 
and comedian Sandra Bernhard that 
this is the case. “1 actually have always 
equated eroticism with condoms,” she 
says. “I had three older brothers and 
they always had them hidden in their 
desk drawers. 1 doubt they used them 
very much, but they had them. So 
there was something very erotic about 
rubbers. I don't find it a turnoff. In a 
way, it eroticizes sex for me. I thınk 
condoms are sexy.” 

“Lask people what they think about 
safe sex, and about sex,” says Comte. “I 


JENNY SHIMIZU (left) rocked fashion 
with her punky look. Model CARLA 
BRUNI (below) has dated Mick Jagger. 
Opposite: Models and actors romp. 


76 


“Pm going to continue 
for the next couple years 
full-time. All for safe sex.” 


—MICHEL COMTE 


offer my ideas, if I know the people. Everybody 
has his or her own fantasy about the pictures we 
should do.” 

This safe-sex project will be hard to miss in 
1994. Comte plans to issue two books of the pho- 
tos and to host “big events” in major cities in the 
U.S. and Europe, at which photos will be auc- 
tioned. Tina Turner and Boy George, among oth- 
er notables, are doing music to support the effort, 
and designers are fashioning clothes. The poten- 
tial millions in proceeds will help pay for the fight 
against AIDS. The entire project is being filmed, 
and four TV spots have been produced. The pho- 
tographs will also be shown in a series of exhibi- 
tions in Europe. 

"I am going to Havana to photograph people,” 
Comte says. “Then ГИ go to Brazil. I'm not going 
to stop. I'm going to continue for the next couple 
years full-time. All for safe sex.” 

Desire does not retreat, and neither, yet, has 
the virus. Still, there is a way out: through re- 
search, through safe sex, through imagination 
unbound. And that's what Michel Comte’s project 
is all about. — DEAN KUIPERS 


Newlywed SHANNEN DOHERTY caps a wild year 
by lending her alluring image to a good cause. 


the welcome wagon ski 


team is looking for 


one real woman fo lead 
it to victory. but 


what will it cost? 


WITH SECONDS to spare I climbed into the starting gate, reached 
over the timing wand and planted my poles in the downhill snow. 
fiction by Beside me my opponent from the Exploding Hamsters did the 


same. I shuffled my skis rapidly back and forth, the alternating tips of my green Olins jabbing beneath the start- 
ing wand to melt a film of water for a faster start. 
Below me the red-and-blue gates of the dual giant-slalom course wound down the slope like a pair of frant 
mating snakes only to disappear behind a solid windbreak of pines. Even farther below lay the Beaver 
Creek base lodge, its deck crowded with brightly clothed skiers soaking up the afiernoon sun. And beyond that, 
way down in the distant bottom of the Eagle River valley, sprawled the town of Avon, ugly stepsister to the 


PLOAOY BORN 


80 


Cinderella city of Vail. 
“Come on, Jase.” said Wally Ratcliff. 

“Remember, all you gotta do is finish.” 
“Right,” I said. The icy ruts around 

the gates shone like burnished steel. 

“We're not going to be last any- 
more,” said Wally. “This week we've 
got a real woman.” 

And that was the key. Every team in 
the Vail-Beaver Creek league was re- 
quired to have at least one woman, 
which meant that every team had ex- 
actly four men and one woman. The 
men all ran the course in about the 
same time, give or take a couple of sec- 
onds. But a fast woman could beat a 
slow woman by ten seconds or more. 

The official rules were simple: One 
run per racer, with the five individual 
times adding up to the team total. If 
any member missed a gate or skied off 
the course, the team would be dis- 
qualified. The unofficial rules were sim- 
pler: He who has the fastest woman wins. 


I sneaked a quick look over my 
shoulder. Sure enough, behind Wally 
stood the woman he'd promised us. 
She was short and bouncy in a banana- 
yellow jumpsuit and matching ear- 
muffs, and she smiled with what I 
hoped was tomboyish recklessness. 
Wally had told us that she was a Vail ski 
instructor. But it she were that good, 
why hadn't any of the other teams 
latched on to her? 

“Ready,” said the starter. “Five, four, 
three, two.” The electronic timer 
shrilled its piercing signal: becp, beep, 
beep. I leaned out over my poles, 
kicked my heels into the air and blasted 
downward, my boots ticking through 
the timing wand to start the clock. The 
Hamster and I skated furiously for five 
steps and then tucked into the first ruts. 

I whipped through the gate. A quick 
gliding step, and I chattered through 
the second rut. I took another step, not 
quite wide enough, and entered the 
third gate too high. My edge gave way 
and dropped me to the bottom of the 
rut, as hard and rough as an ax-hewn 
log, but my skis molded to the uneven 
surface and slung me onward. Step, 
gate, step, gate, faster and faster down 
the course, breathing harder at every 
turn. I tucked tight for the finish line 
and, at the last moment, popped my 
tips to break the beam. 

Skidding sideways, I looked back at 
the electronic timer: 25.3. Two tenths 
of a second behind the Hamster. I 
jammed to a stop beside my teammates 
Fritz Heflin and Manny Trevi. 

“Nice run,” said Fritz. He used his 
pole to flick a few loose flakes off his 
trademark skis, a pair of Red Sleds. 
Fritz was studying fire science at Col- 


orado Mountain College and lived ina 
room above the Avon firehouse. He 
wore expedition-weight underwear and 
shopped for the rest of his clothes at 
the Salvation Army. He would wear 
pretty much anything just so long as it 
was red. 

“Mmmm,” said Manny, who wasn't 
big on the spoken word. He'd recently 
changed his last name from Treviño 10 
Trevi. Some people thought he was 
putting on airs, but those of us who 
knew him figured he was just trying to 
save a syllable. 

The three of us leaned on our poles 
and stared up the slope. 

“Racing fourth,” blared the loud- 
speaker, “are Danny Johnson for the 
Exploding Hamsters . . . and Karl 
Marx for Welcome Wagon.” 

Karl Marx was Wally’s race name this 
week. The rest of us had been, in order 
of start, René Descartes, John Locke 
and David Hume. Every week, for as 
long as we'd been racing and losing, 
we'd adopted a different set of names. 
We were too embarrassed both to lose 
and to have our names associated with 
a sponsor as lame as Welcome Wagon. 

Our local Welcome Wagon was a 
gang of blue-haired women who forced 
themselves on unsuspecting newcom- 
ers and showered them with discount 
coupons and unsolicited advice. The 
Welcome Wagon woman would always 
insist on visiting the “lady of the house” 
in order to recommend the “best” 
stores, restaurants and services. In fact, 
she recommended only those business- 
es that paid Welcome Wagon for the 
advertising. What made it so lame was 
that Welcome Wagon passed itself off as 
a folksy public service. It was actually a 
nationwide corporation that raked in 
millions. And, unlike other local spon- 
sors, Welcome Wagon insisted we ski 
under its name. 

“They're off” boomed the loud- 
speaker. Manny looked to the sky and 
crossed himself. 

“God bless Karl Marx,” said Fritz. 

“Forgive him, Lord,” I added. “He 
didn’t really mean that about the opi- 
ate of the masses.” 

Unfortunately, Wally was a genuine 
Wally in every sense of the word. He 
was short, nearsighted, pudgy and se- 
verely uncoordinated. And although 
nearly 30 years old, he was still work- 
ing as a bellhop at the Poste Montane. 
"To make matters worse, he insisted on 
wearing the longest skis that he could 
find, usually something upwards of 
290 centimeters. 

Today, despite our pleading, he'd 
worn his downhill racing skis. Downhill 
boards aren’t much help on a giant- 
slalom course. They're so stiff that they 


just begin to loosen up at 40 miles an 


hour, and they carve a natural turn 


that’s so long and gradual it resembles 
nothing so much as a straight line. 

The Hamster rounded the corner, 
swishing through each gate with the 
graceful rhythm of someone who's 
raced since childhood. He popped 
across the finish just as Wally skidded 
into view, boards clacking like an arm- 
load of kindling, Wally twisted violent- 
ly, his feet and knees pointed in one di- 
rection, his upper body in another. 
Between gates he sprang upright, 
straightened and twisted the other way, 
forcing his reluctant skis to shudder 
through yet another turn far tighter 
than they'd been built for. 

“Two more gates,” said Fritz. “Just 
two more gates.” 

Wally came out of the last rut canted 
over onto his inside ski. He windmilled 
desperately but continued to tilt in- 
ward. He hit on his side and the snow 
exploded. One ski popped out, and 
then the other. A split second later Wal- 
ly emerged headfirst, sliding on his bel- 
ly, and crossed the finish line to stop 
the clock. 

The rules of skiing say nothing about 
finishing standing, Or even with all 
your equipment. 

"Hmmpp." said Manny. 

“Way to go,” shouted Fritz. 

Isaid nothing, torn between wanting 
to congratulate him and wanting to kill 
him for weas ing such cnormous skis. 

“Racing fifth,” said the loudspeaker, 
“are Susi Fallows for the Exploding 
Hamsters .. . and Ludwig Wittgenstein 
for Welcome Wagon.” 

Wittgenstein was our woman, the fe- 
male who would finally make Welcome 
Wagon a winner. We exchanged high 
fives all around. 

“So, Wally,” I said. “How come no- 
body else nabbed her?” 

“Beats me,” he said, knocking the 
snow out of his goggles. “But as soon as 
I saw her, I knew she was exactly what 
we needed.” 

We'd gone through a guest woman a 
week since the beginning of the season. 
Most had failed to finish, much less ski 
fast. Fast women were an endangered 
species at Vail-Beaver Creek. Few wom- 
en chose the cold, impoverished life 
of the ski bum, and the fastest had been 
grabbed before the season began. 

“Where did you say she teaches?” 
asked Fritz. 

“Up at Vail,” said Wally. 

“That's funny,” said Fritz. “She must 
be new.” 

Asa fire science major, Fritz spent his 
free time pounding the moguls at Vail, 
a streak of tattered red on his beloved 
Sleds. He devoted the rest of his time 
to worshiping at the feet of female ski 
instructors. 

(continued on page 130) 


“1 got a really neat job today. I didn’t even know 
computer programmers used nude models.” 


2 
< ex 3,0 UTE ptr 
9 í {4 ha «4 | \ 
if i 


IF YOU WERE 
JUST ALITTLE |. A 
y 


Golden Age of Stupid 


IN THE KINGDOM OF THE DUMB, 


URING THE first 5000 years of recorded histo- 

ry, it was possible to survive as an incredibly 

& stupid person, but it wasn't possible to make 

any real money at it. Country bumpkins, village idiots 

and addlepated lummoxes were more or less tolerated 

through the ages, but they were seldom rewarded and 
were rarely thought of as role models. 

All this has changed in the age of Beavis and Butt- 
head, Ren and Stimpy, Wayne and Garth and the guy 
who called that time-out for Michigan with 11 seconds 
left in the 1993 NCAA basketball final. Today, joyously 
stupid people such as Roseanne Arnold and Madonna 
are revered as national treasures, while canny oppor- 
tunists such as Rush Limbaugh make their fortunes 
pretending to be morons. Truly, there has never been 
a better time to be stupid. 

Just think how important stupidity has become in 
everyday life. The most popular book in America was 
written by Howard Stern, a clown. The most pop- 
ular radio show in America is hosted by Rush 
Limbaugh, a posturing meathead. The top 
fashion statement in America is a baseball cap 
worn backward, knucklehead style, with over- 
sized shorts pulled down to reveal one’s underwear. 
The most popular musical idiom in America is coun- 
try-and-western—hee-haw—with heavy metal and 
rap—clunk, screech—nipping at its bootheels. The 
hottest program on MTV is Beavis and Butt-head, which 
chronicles the adventures of two dimwits. The hottest 
program on Nickelodeon is Ren & Stimpy, which 
chronicles the adventures of two boneheads. One en- 
tire network—Fox—is devoted to stupidity, while an- 
other—MTV—is mostly dedicated to stupidity. The 
most money ever paid to an МВА rookie—$74.5 mil- 
lion—was awarded last summer to Chris Webber, most 
famous for calling that time-out—the dumbest play in 
the history of college basketball. 

Of course, it is important to distinguish between 
innate stupidity—a way of life—and rehearsed stu- 


LET'S FIND THE 
NAKED WOMEN. 


THE HALF-WITTED MAN 15 KING 


pidity—a hobby, a sham or a good way to build tele- 
vision ratings. Consider Hoosier stupidity. David Let- 
terman, a native of Indiana, does dumb things on his 
show as a postmodern, ironic ploy to draw attention 
to other people's incredible stupidity. Dan Quayle, a 
native of Indiana, is wit-impaired. 

One troubling aspect of contemporary stupidity is 
that trailblazing numbskulls of yesteryear, who laid 
the groundwork for today's morons, have not re- 
ceived the credit they are due. Without a dope like 
Elvis Presley there would be no chowderheads like 
Axl Rose. Without bozos like Morton Downey, Jr., 
and Joe Pyne we wouldn't have a muttonhead like 
Rush Limbaugh. Without a troika of lunkheads like 
the Three Stooges, there could never have been a dy- 
namic duo of duncery like Beavis and Butt-head. 
And without Jerry Lewis, there never could have 
been the flowering of stupidity as 
we know it now. —ЮЕ QUEENAN 
BLOW THIS, 


ILLUSTRATIONS BY STEVE BOSWICK. 


83 


84 


These are а few oj the atupideat Chinga 


DE FOR DULLARDS: Beavis and Bult-head is МТУ’ 
most successful program. The duo's CD and book are both 
huge successes. Beavis and Butt-head have been called the 
Ebert and Siskel of rock. In fact, White Zombie and Babes 
in Toyland have credited dramatic increases in album sales 
to favorable mentions on the show. In assessing their worth 
to Viacom, which owns Beavis and Butt-head, Advertising 
Age proclaimed that they are “just the kind of copyrights 
that increasingly are essential passports into the new me- 
dia age.” The show, by the way, generates a conservatively 
estimated $10 million each year for Viacom. 


Magneta of Stupidity 


Graceland 
Branson, Missouri 
Reno, Nevada 
Las Vegas, Nevada 
Cannes 


Failed Stupid People 


Sean Young 
Mickey Rourke 
Sid Vicious 
the Boz 
Mike Tyson 
Jerry Van Dyke 


Smart, Gut Capable 


Neville Chamberlain 
Wilt Chamberlain 
Susan Sontag 
the Federal Reserve Board 
Fritz Mondale 
IBM 


Stupid Songa That 7/26 
the Word We 


We Will Rock You 
We Are the Champions of the World 
We Are the World 
We Didn't Start the Fire 


Stupid Hietorical Events 
the Trojans accept the horse 
Napoleon invades Russia 
Hitler invades Russia 
Jim Fregosi lets arm-dead Mitch 
Williams pitch to Joe Carter 


Obviously Stupid Objects 


the accordion 


things that come out of the nose, and the 


candy named after them 
the Titanic 
Haitian voter-registration forms 
the Maginot Line 
nondairy creamers 
the Trabant 
polenta 


People Whe Are 
So Smart, Theyre Stupid 


Fay Vincent 
Richard Darman 
Marilyn vos Savant 
Steven Jobs 
William Kuntsler 
Ralph Nader 
H. Ross Perot 


Stupid. ола 


the Rodney King jury. 
the Reginald Denny jury 
the John DeLorean jury 

the Ivan Boesky jury 
the Claus von Bulow jury 


Previously Stupid People Who 


How Pass for Smart 


Terry Bradshaw 
Regis Philbin 
William Shatner 
Marshall Tito 
Jerry Garcia 
Boris Yeltsin 
Charles Barkley 
Montel Williams 


* 


Stupid Highlights of Last Year 


Branch Davidian showdown. 
risotterias 
Clear Pepsi 
the NAFTA debate 
NBC letting David Letterman go 
NBC hiring Conan O'Brien 


the Three Stooges 


Nickelodeon the Fox Network 


Y 
en imitating David Letterman imitating Beavis and Butt-head 
Ed Norton Vanilla Fudge Vanilla Ice 
are professional boxing professional wrestling 
= the French the Serbs 
Dinah Shore Pauly Shore 
Gilligan's Island Fantasy Island 
Т.А. Guns Guns г” Roses 
Beavis Butt-head 
cocaine crack 
Martin Lewis 
Whoopi Goldberg Ted Danson 
Game Boy і Newton 


Stupid, And Should Stupid, Cut 
Have Kuowa Better Impressive Genes 


Ted Kennedy ‘Tori Spelling 
Robert Packwood William Kennedy Smith 
Ross Perot Princess Stephanie 

Chevy Chase Victoria Sellers 
Michael Jackson 


Heidi Fleiss 


WHOA, 
Lovable, Tastefut, COOL. 
Inoßfensive Kincompoope 

Bob Denver 

Don Adams 

the cast of F Troop 
Ted Knight 
Ronald Reagan 
Gerald Ford 
the Ramones 


Wa seuted Weathead: 
Howard Stern 
Patrick Buchanan 
Joseph McCarthy 
Axl Rose 
Andrew Dice Clay 


Dumb, Gut Fun 


bungee jumping 
music videos 
platform shoes 
dating 
puppies 
corndogs 
Lollapalooza 


Dunt Hearttlnabe 


Robert James Waller 
Michael Bolton 
Joey Lawrence 

Fabio 
John Kennedy, Jr. 
Billy Baldwin 
Joey Buttafuoco 
Heather Locklear 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY 
STEPHEN WAYDA 


NATURALLY, IT’S 


“MY PARENTS raised me on a commune in 
Angels Camp, in the Sierras," says 21- 
year-old Neriah Davis, who is turning 
heads on the shaded terrace of a Sunset 
Boulevard restaurant. As we chat, Novem- 
ber leaves drift onto our table, and moth- 
er nature provides an eerie counter- 


point—we're being dusted by ash from 
wildfires raging in Topanga Canyon. 

Neriah’s early life in the central Sierra 
Nevada gold-mining town of Angels 
Camp was bucolic but raw. "We didn't 
have electricity. We didn't have a TV. 
When we wanted to take a bath, we had to 
heat the water and pour it into the bath- 
tub. My parents grew all their own food. It 
was like Little House on the Prairie. I love 
that that’s the way I grew up.” 

The commune was a former kayaking 
school called the Confluence. When Neri- 
ah, her parents and her three siblings 
moved there in the mid-Seventies, they 
fought efforts to dam the Stanislaus River. 
“My dad was one of the main protesters 
When I was seven or cight, justa little kid, 
he would get us up early in the morning 
and dress us as trees and rocks, and we'd 
all stand in the middle of the road holding 


Nerioh loved the California desert location for 
these shots. It had а gypsy feel, and even с 
few coyotes. "We didn't da any lingerie shots 


in the studio,” she says. “| was so hoppy.” 


meet miss march: 
treasure of the sierras 


signs and chanting. ‘Don’t dam the river!" In recent years, 
Neriah's father, who is part Cherokee, has been organizing 
support for members of the Hopi Nation who are engaged 
in a land-rights struggle at Big Mountain in Arizona. Neri- 
ah coordinated part of a Thanksgiving relief caravan that 
joined him there. 

She came to Los Angeles with her try-anything-once spir- 
it, and within a week she landed the first of a series of small 
acting jobs, including a supporting role in USA's made-for- 
cable movie Marilyn & Bobby. She went on to land modeling 
gigs that put her on the cover of a Playboy's Book of Lingerie 

“I did this poster. Oh, my gosh, it was crazy,” she says, 
laughing. “The photographer and I drove up to a ramp on 
the 101 Freeway in Woodland Hills, and I was standing 
there totally nude with this sign that read WILL WORK FOR SEX 
I was wearing pink lipstick and pink pumps. Cars were 
driving by. It was the craziest crazy thing I've ever done. I've 
heard it’s one of the best-selling posters right now.” 

She admits that appearing in PLAYBOY made her consider 


“We were cdventurers," says Nerich, recalling her upbringing in o 
Sierra cammune, where her dad tought her to roppel down mine 
shafts, гой the river спа hike. “We hod wild parties there. We 
would hove a potluck dinner, then play instruments and sing and 


dance all night. I haven't been to a party like that in a long time.” 


If Nerich has to return to 
a rustic lifestyle, she’s not 
worried: 71 could do it. 1 
know how. I'm not fright- 
ened by anything that 
might happen in my life.” 


possible conflicts with 
her newfound Chris 
tianity. Thinking for a 
moment, she says, “I 
feel that these shots are 
not going to make a dif- 
ference in the world 
But, then, another side 
of me likes to do this. 
Гт an exhibitionist. It 
was fun to do that free- 
way shot. I think people 
should have different 
facets to their personali 
ty" Although Los Ange- 
les gives her some in- 
teresting opportunities, 
Neriah's return to the 
ranch cannot be far off. 
She wants to own a 
mountain farm—after 
she does a few movies 
and some more model- 
ing—and she's weigh- 
ing a plan to work in 
Costa Rica with her 
boyfriend to develop 
a Christian adventure 
camp for kids. 

"Im not materialis. 
tic," she says. "Living in 
the city, it's real hard to 
be close to God. I find 
that when I'm at my 
parents’ house, I feel 
blessed and find inner 
peace. I don't feel that 
way here. It's hard 
to keep your insides 
healthy." Need a better 
reason to get out in the 
woods? We'll meet you 
back at camp, angel. 

—CLINTCILA 


НОЗУИ 55100 


MOST OUTRAGEOUS JoB: | 


0 


Up two 
Clon - 14993 


PLAYBOY’S PARTY JOKES 


Two inebriated Muscovites stumbled i 
liquor store. “How many?” one asked. 
Or maybe three?” 
the other said. “We bought 
three yesterday and I got awful hiccups and 
you barfed all over. 1 think we'd better stop 
at twi 
“OK,” 
five bottles of vodka 


to a 
Two? 


his friend said to the clerk 
nd two 


= 


Wi line for a movie, a man was 
startled when someone behind him began to 
massage his head and neck. The pressure pre- 
vented him from turning around at first, but 
by the time the kneading spread to his shoul 
ders, he was so relaxed, he didn't bother. Only 
when the strange hands moved to the small of 
his back did he spin around in protest. 
What the hell are you doing?” he asked, 
looking into the face of a middle-aged man. 
“I'm а chiropractor,” the fellow replied. 
“You looked so tense, so full of stress, that 


ah? Well, keep your hands to yourself,” 
п barked. “Pm a lawyer, and you 
don't see me screwing anybody, do уои?” 


Whats the be 
to Hare Krishna 
the airport. 


t thing about living next door 
You can always get a ride to 


The 200-year-old man was presented at a 
press conference and was questioned by re- 
porters. “How did you live to be 200 years 
old?” one asked. 

“It’s actually quite simple,” the ancient fel- 
low replied. “I never, ever argue.” 

“That ca " the reporter said. “It 
has to be like exercise, or your 
diet, or abstinence, or meditation. It doesn't 
make any sense,” he insisted. “Just not arguing 
won't keep you alive for 200 yea 

The old man stared at the young reporter 
for a few seconds. Finally, he spoke. “Maybe 
you" ght.” 


While the bar patron savored a double marti- 
ni, an altractive woman sat down next to him 
The bartender served her a glass of orange 
j and the man turned to her and said, 
"This isa special day. I'm celebrating.” 

"I'm celebrating, too,” she said, clinking 
glasses with him. 

What are you celebrating?” he asked. 

“For years Гуе been trying to have a child," 
she replied. “Today, my gynecologist told me 
Um pregnant! 
tulation 


* the man said, lifting his 
i armer, and 
for years all my hens were infertile. But today 
they're finally fer 
How did that happen?” 
“1 switched cocks.” 
“TI drink to that,” she said, smilin 


How do you defi 


player with a beeper 


2 An accordion 


optin 


A young ventriloquist. was playing a small 
roadhouse in the Ozarks when he cracked a 
few hillbilly jokes, prompting a burly man to 
stand up and shout: “Ahm getun’ mighty tired 
of these kind of jokes! Not all of us is stupid, 
y know: 

“Tm really sorry, si” the flustered ventrilo 
quist replied. “It was all in jes 

He the hillbilly snarled, "ain wlkin’ to 
you. I'm talkin’ to that smartass on yer knee! 


By late afternoon of the second day of battle, it 
was clear that the platoon was greatly outnum- 
bered, outgunned and outflanked. The first 
lieutenant gathered his men for a pep talk 
“We must keep fighting,” he said, “until the 
last bullet. Then retreat.” The officer paused 
and cleared his throat before continuing. 
I'ma little gimpy, I'll be starting back now." 


Heard a funny one lately? Send it on a post- 
card, please, to Party Jokes Editor, PLAYBOY, 
680 North Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, Mlinois 
60611. $100 will be paid to the contributor 
whose card is selected. Jokes cannot be returned. 


т, 


| | 
77 ШІ; 5 um Ly 


Wi 


u 


72 


52 а 
e 


p 


“Time to go, guys—it’s been real. . . 


100 


MURDER, 
MAYHEM, 
MUTILATION— 
AND NOW 


lt 


A WORD 
FROM 
OUR 
SPONSOR 


article 
By Craig Vetter 


MY NAME IS Craig, and I am an addict. I'm power- 
less over my appetite for the endless and sordid 
drama that plays out 24 hours a day on the cable 
network called Court ТУ. I sit like a slug while a 
spectacle of slime and debauchery, lies and law- 
yering, murder, rape, torture, butchery, cannibal- 
ism and every other wretched thing that can go 
wrong among God's creatures unfolds before me. 
The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the 
truth, so help me God. But there is no help. 
When you're hooked the way that I'm hooked, it's 
like being on jury duty in hell. 


I don't think there's a 12-step program for 
Court TV junkies yet, but if there were I would be 
there a couple times a week, sitting in one of those 
folding chairs, drinking bad coffee, smoking ciga- 
rettes, waiting my turn to confess the details of an 
otherwise productive life gone to ruin under the 
spell of this nasty addiction. 

As we speak, I’m trapped in the trial of the 
Menendez brothers, Lyle and Erik, a couple of 
tennis-playing rich boys who stormed into the 
family room of their Beverly Hills mansion and 
slaughtered their parents, Jose and Kitty, with a 
pair of Mossburg shotguns. We're somewhere 


around day 40 or 50 of the case—I'm not sure. 
I've stopped counting, the way drunks stop 
counting their drinks. 

Lyle is on the stand doing his best to convince 
the jurors that he and younger brother Erik 
pumped 16 rounds of buckshot into their parents 
in self-defense. Never mind that the only weapons 
found near the bodies were the spoons Mom and 
Dad had been using to eat berries and cream as 
they watched television. This was a house of 
dread, say the brothers, a terrifying realm ruled 
by a viciously incestuous father whose methods of 
discipline would have frightened the Marquis de 
Sade. We lived in terror, goes their story. Finally, 
it was kill or be killed. 

As Lyle testifies, a graphic keeps appearing on 
the screen under his college-boy face: “The broth- 
ers stood to inherit an estate worth $14 million,” 
it says, alluding to the prosecution's theory that 
greed was the motive for the shootings. Other 
captions follow in an endless summary for viewers 
who were just channel-surfing: date of the alleged 
crime, witness and lawyer IDs, pithy descriptions 
of what part of the story the witness is being asked 
about. “Lyle is describing sexual abuse at the 
hands of his father. . . .” 

Oh. God, is he ever. He can barely get the 
words out. I can barely watch, but I do. If Lyle is 
telling the truth, Dad deserved to die a lot more 
slowly and painfully (continued on page 122) 


ILLUSTRATION BY DAVID WILCOX 


Calvin Klein 


THE SPRING AND SUMMER MENSWEAR FROM 
AMERICA’S TOP DESIGNER IS A RUNWAY SUCCESS 


fashion by HOLLIS WAYNE 


ALK ABOUT a guy who 

loves his work: Calvin 

Klein has been spot- 

ted in retail stores 
buying his own designs. OF 
course, Klein isn't the only 
Calvin Klein Menswear fan. 
Since the debut of his fall 
1992 collection (his first in 
six years), the American 
fashion designer has built 
a following that rivals that. 
of his top European com- 
petiturs. Jului Е Keuuedy, 
Ju, Warren Beatty, Gregory 
Hines and Richard Gere, 
among others, are Calvin 
devotees. Klein also recent- 
ly became the first individ- 
ual to receive the fashion 
world's two top honors in 
the same year: He was 
named both 1993 Menswear 
and Womenswear Designer 
of the Year by the Council of 
Fashion Designers of Ameri- 
ca. Not bad for a guy whose 
career was launched by ac- 
cident. As Klein explains, 
"I've known that I wanted to design clothes and have my 
own business since I was five years old.” Growing up in the 
Bronx, Klein taught himself to sketch and sew and later 
sought formal education at New York's High School of Art 
and Design and at the Fashion Institute of Technology. АҒ- 
ter spending several years apprenticing in an outerwear 
and suit house on Seventh Avenue, Klein and his buddy, 
businessman Barry Schwartz, decided to combine their tal- 
ents and open their own fashion house. Klein was in his 
showroom in a New York hotel when a buyer from Bonwit 


Teller mistakenly got off the 
elevator on the wrong floor. 
Spotting the young design- 
ers work, the buyer was 
impressed and immediate- 
ly placed an order worth 
$50,000. “The rest,” Klein 
says, “is history.” What is 
it about Klein’s American- 
born-and-bred clothing that 
is so appealing? Take a look 
at the photos on these six 
pages, shot at Klein's 1994 
spring and summer ı uuway 
show, and you'll under- 
stand. The suits, sports jack- 
ets and pants are tailored 
but not restrictive. Its a 
look that Klein describes as 
“loose, airy and extremely 
versatile.” In fact, versatility 
and value are critical ele- 
ments of the designers 
work. “I have no interest in 
making men's suits that cost 
$3000," says Klein. “I am 
not going to pay that kind 
of money myself. It just 
doesn't make sense." What 
does make sense to Klein is creating tailored clothing that 
combines “luxury and elegance with the comfort of sports- 
wear.” Linen, for example, “is a fabric that has inspired 
me,” says Klein—so much so that the designer used it in 
this season’s single- and double-breasted suits and sports 
jackets as well as in dress shirts, sport shirts, sweaters, pants 
and shorts. He has even put a relaxed spin on formal- 
wear. The starched-shirt-and-bow-tie look is replaced by 
a tux worn with a linen shirt open at the collar. “It's ele- 
gant yet sexy,” Klein says. You'll get no argument from us. 


The Calvin Klein suit is evidence that dressing for work no longer hos to be as discomforting as the day-to-day grind. 


For spring and summer, Klein pairs long, narrow jackets with full-cut pleated pants for added comfort. The sı 


at lef 


cludes a linen-and-silk plaid four-button jacket with pleated trousers, $1095, a linen shirt, $250, and a knit tie, $73. 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY DAN LECCA / RIUSTIATION BY TRACY SABIN 


103 


“Men have grown accus- 
tomed ta relaxed clothing 
and uncomplicated pieces,” 
says Klein. “It’s no longer 
just about looking good, but 
about clothes that are com- 
fortable, easy and real.” Ob- 
viously, Klein has applied 
that insight to this season's 
dress and sportswear. Suits, 
for example, are made of 
natural fabrics such as light- 
weight wool and linen and 
have long, lean silhauettes 
with soft shoulders. Colors 
are subdued (stone, ash, 
navy and charcoal are some 
of our favorites) and shirts 
made of linen can be 
dressed up or down to fit the 
occasian. Taking it from the 
top, far left: The linen Don- 
egal tweed three-button sin- 
gle-breasted suit with three 
open-patch pockets, notched 
lapels and pleated trousers, 
about $1200, is combined 
with a linen checked dress 
shirt, $250, and a knit tie 
with wide horizontal stripes, 
$75. Top, center: A hand- 
knit silk sweater, $670, is 
worn over a linen camp 
shirt, $225, and linen burlap 
shorts, abaut $200, and ac- 
cessorized with plastic and 
engraved-metal glasses, 
$175. Top, near left: A wool 
tricotine six-button double- 
breasted suit with notched 
lapels, besom flapped pock- 
ets and pleated trousers, 
$1230, is paired with a linen 
long-point-callar dress shirt, 
$225, and a silk printed tie, 
about $85. Bottom, far left: 
A linen unconstructed four- 
buttan sports jacket with 
notched lapels, about $700, 
is teamed with pull-on pants, 
$250, and a sport shirt, 
$220, all made of linen, Bot- 
tom, center: An ombré linen 
striped sweater, about $300, 
is tucked into linen full-cut 
double-pleated trousers, 
$250. Bottam, near left: A 
linen tweed six-button dou- 
ble-breasted suit with 
notched lapels and full-cut 
pleated trousers, $1030, is 
worn with a linen plaid camp 
shirt, about $220. 


Left and above: If you want 
a suit that is designed with 
plenty of room for move- 
ment, Calvin Klein is your 
man. His sophisticated, fluid 
style is evidenced in this 
easygaing navy wool trico- 
tine three-button single- 
breasted suit with flap pack- 
ets and full-cut dauble- 
pleated trousers, about 
$1200, worn with a soft 
linen camp shirt, abaut $225. 


Left and below: Reinstating 
the elegance of the past, 
Klein's high-button-stanced 
three-piece “harks back to 
the sultry romance of Ha- 
vana in the Forties,” says the 
designer. This wool gabar- 
dine double-breasted model 
features a six-button jacket, 
a five-button vest ond plect- 
ed trousers, $1130, shown 
with a linen dress shirt, 
$230, and a silk tie, $85. 


Left: How do you dress down 
a double-breasted suit? Pair 
it with a cardigan sweater, as 
Klein does here. The suit 
combines a linen herring- 
bone six-button double- 
breasted jacket with notched 
lapels and pleated trousers, 
$930, with a linen dress 
shirt, $225, a linen mé- 
longe-knit cardigan, $225, 
and a silk knit tie, $75. 


Right: To instill further the 
notion of relaxed dressing, 
Klein capped off his spring 
and summer 1994 mens- 
wear show with this no- 

tie black-tie look. It includes 
а wool crepe four-button 
double-breasted tuxedo with 
peaked satin lopels and 
pleated trousers, $1283, and 
а linen long-sleeved camp 
shirt, about $225 


Where & How to Buy on page 149. 


PLAYBOY PROFILE 


r1 1 


ІШЕ 


ENGLISH race-car driver Nigel Mansell 
speeds down the backstretch at Port- 
land International Raceway in Oregon 
at 160 miles per hour, marveling at the 
scenery. “You should see this,” he ra- 
dios to his crew as the straightaway 
stretches along a concrete wall and his 
Lola climbs to 170 mph. “There’s quite 
a lovely view of a snow-covered moun- 
tain.” His eyes are pointed down the 
road toward the turn approaching at 
180. Carl Haas, the car’s owner along 
with Paul Newman, also marvels—that 
Mansell can sightsee and provide color 
commentary at 180 mph. Mansell had 
never been to Portland, yet he is sec 
ond fastest in practice, using his two 
sessions to learn the track. There's on- 
ly one problem: his competition, the 
Penske-Chevy driven by the fastest 
man in practice, Indy 500 winner 
Emerson Fittipaldi. The car was de- 
signed and constructed in the Penske 
racing shop in England and Fittipaldi 
had declared this latest in a long line of 
winners to be the best Penske chassis 
ever. If Mansell wanted to steal pole 
position from Fittipaldi he knew that 
he would have to drive, for at least one 
lap, like a motherflogger—or, more 
precisely, like a Lola-flogger. 

As the qualifying session progresses, 
both drivers shave tenths of seconds off 
their lap times. With two minutes re- 
maining, Fittipaldi’s 1:01.007 is quick- 
est, and Mansell has only one chance 
left. In fact, he’s been saving his tires 


ES = ¡Es Y 


= 


RIDE 


for this last-minute shot. When he 
drove for Ferrari, Italian fans had 
dubbed him il leone, the lion, to de- 
scribe the way he grabbed each chal- 
lenge with his teeth. Now he keeps his 
turbocharged Ford-Cosworth engine 
screaming near its 13,000 rpm limit on 
its hot lap. As the Lola squirms under 
the power, the chassis tries to snap side- 
ways; if Mansell twitches the steering 
wheel a split second too early or too 
late, a fraction of an inch too much or 
too little, control will be lost. That’s 
called ten-tenths driving. He takes the 
checkered flag and hears his crew chief 
shout “P1” over the radio. His final lap 
is at 1:00.902, and he is on the pole by 
a tenth of a second. 

The Budweiser-G.l. Joe's 200 at 
Portland was Mansell's sixth Indycar 
race, and qualifying was at least his 
fifth brilliant performance. Afterward, 
he held Haas captive on a golf cart at 
the far edge of the team’s canopied 
infield compound. Mansell's bushy 
eyebrows were bouncing up and down, 
his mustache was against Haas’ ear, and 
his lips were flying as fast as his Lo- 
la had flown through the chicane on 
his pole-winning lap. “Look at Nigel 
grinding on Carl,” observed amused 
team coordinator Bill Yeager, watching 
out of one eye as he pretended to pay 
attention to his lunch. "He's already 
trying to hammer down his contract 
for next year, and he’s hitting Carl 
while he's hot.” Yeager, a 67-year-old 


ml [e mi <= E 


ILLUSTRATION BY DAVIO LEVINE 


NIGEL MANSELL, THE 


CHAMPION LOLA-FLOGGER 


AND OVAL-KILLER; 


Has PROVEN 


DNE THING—IN THE HIGH- 


STAKES GAME 


DF MOTOR RACING, IT 


DOESN'T GET 


ANY BETTER THAN THIS 


PLAYBOY 


110 


legend who was one of Mansell's new 
American “mates,” tried to hold back a 
snicker as the animated Brit rattled on. 
“Nigel's grinding on him,” said Yeager, 
“just like he does to get what he wants 
on his race car. He doesn’t back off un- 
til he gets it.” 

And sometimes Mansell will get it 
just for satisfaction, and then walk 
away. That's what he did in 1992, after 
winning the Formula I world champi- 
onship with the Williams team. He 
claimed the title in breathtaking style 
by winning 14 poles and nine races in 
his Williams-Renault, more in one year 
than any Grand Prix driver in history. 
But he was not happy, claiming he had 
been manipulated by his car owner, 
Frank Williams, during contract nego- 
tiations for 1993. As Mansell was read- 
ing his retirement statement at a press 
conference in Monza, Italy to a world- 
wide television audience, a note was 
passed to him offering $5 million more 
to stay. But Mansell had been unre- 
deemably offended. The world cham- 
pion announced that his terms had just 
been met, but that it was too late. “It 
was the ballsiest move he’s ever made, 
on or off the track,” says Peter Wind- 
sor, the Williams public relations man- 
ager and Mansell's ally, who also quit 
over the matter. Says Mansell, “It was 
never about money. It was about play- 
ing fair and trying to win the world 
championship. 


So Mansell swapped the champagne- 
and-caviar ambience of Formula I for 
the backyard-barbecue flavor of the In- 
dycar circuit and moved his family 
from their wet and windy estate on the 
Isle of Man to a sunny mansion on the 
Gulf of Mexico in Florida. In America, 
he wanted to meet new people and 
challenges, drive new cars at higher 
speeds and conquer new oval-shaped 
worlds. Or, as Paul Newman aptly put 
it, Mansell was about to embark on 
a “great adventure.” He reportedly 
signed up for just under $5 million. 
The Italians see the lion in Mansell, 
while the British fans, who adore him, 
call him their English bulldog (“Our 
Nige” is how the London tabloids 
tagged him after he won the 1992 
world championship). He drives the 
same way he negotiates: He just doesn’t 
back off. Not for the turns, not for the 
curbs and most definitely not for his 
competitors. Its a style and strategy 
that has put Mansell at the top, though 
he has often driven against traffic. 
Since his days as a kid racing go-carts 
in the Midlands, he has crushed verte- 
brae in his back, broken his neck once, 
smashed his left foot and absorbed a 
bloody blow to his head from a fence 
post. That injury drew a priest, whose 


final prayers stirred young Nigel out of 
unconsciousness long enough to tell 
the padre to sod off. Mansell’s trail is 
littered with broken bones, crushed 
hearts, raging controversies, sagged 
spirits and small tragedies (as well as 
demolished race cars). But for every 
downstroke there has been an up- 
stroke. If he had taken any other route 
he probably wouldn't have gotten where 
he is today. 

He's champion of the PPG Indycar 
World Series, driver of the year and— 
almost incidentally—Indycar rookie of 
the year. In the 1993 season Mansell 
won five races, took six pole positions 
and set five one-lap track records in 
qualifying. He finished third in the In- 
dy 500 after nearly winning it (he was 
named rookie of the year there, too). 
He also crashed three times, injured 
his lower back, sprained and then dam- 
aged ligaments in his right wrist and 
was involved in a handful of scrapes 
with cars that he felt had gotten in his 
way. He finished the season with 191 
points to Fittipaldi’s 183 and earned 
more than $2.5 million in prize money 
in addition to his reported retainer of 
nearly $5 million, No driver had ever 
won consecutive Formula I and Indy- 
car championships. (Only Fittipaldi 
and Mario Andretti—coincidentally, 
Mansell's teammate with Newman- 
Haas Racing—have also won hath ti- 
tles.) Then he returned triumphant to 
England, entered an exhibition race 
for small sedans so that his fans could 
see him perform at his home track and 
subsequently crashed into a bridge 
abutment. Mansell destroyed the car, 
bruised three ribs and knocked himself 
unconscious once again. 

Mansell, of course, was not entirely 
unknown when he arrived in the U.S. 
in 1993. No fewer than 90 internation- 
al motor-sports reporters were waiting 
in Phoenix for his first session in an In- 
dycar. He also found a following that 
had worshiped in the church of ESPN, 
whose Sunday sunrise service of live 
Formula I races had made Nigel Man- 
sell a familiar name, if not a god, in 
millions of households. Most other For- 
mula I drivers appeared to be cold- 
hearted, with brains like the computer 
chips that control their cars’ throttle, 
gearbox and suspension. Not Mansell. 
Although he sometimes drives as if he 
were superhuman—but never robot- 
like—he behaves in a decidedly human 
manner, and that makes him popular. 
How could fans not pull for a man 
who's either going to win or crash—his 
car, his body, his security—trying? You 
have to love a Grand Prix driver who 
once stopped on his way to a race to 
take an injured duck to the vet. Like a 
regular person, he drops, forgets and 


bumps into things. One time he had to 
sit out a race after a car ran over his 
foot. The man is accident-prone. After 
qualifying at a race in Cleveland last 
year, Mansell entered the press trailer 
on his face. His right wrist was severely 
sprained, yet he drove to third place 
the next day. 

Sharks, snakes, heights and small 
cars scare him. He sometimes acts silly 
on purpose and is considered a cutup 
among his friends. He plonks his head 
in the basket of bread on the table 
while laughing at his own naughty 
jokes. He sneaks off to the golf course 
at every opportunity, coaches his son 
Leo's soccer team and likes a good 
game of snooker with his mates, as well 
as handball, judo, golf, shooting, swim- 
ming, tennis and squash. In Monaco, 
where he always drives spectacularly 
(he led his first Grand Prix there in 
1984 and was leaving the feld in his 
wake during a downpour, driving with 
abandon until he crashed), he some- 
times stood out in other ways. Sur- 
rounded by the stylish and sophisticat- 
ed Formula 1 set, he wore Bermuda 
shorts and a sweatshirt while holding 
his daughter Chloe's hand, carrying 
Leo on his shoulders and pushing baby 
Greg in a stroller. “My idea of a heav- 
enly day off is to curl up on the sofa 
with Chloe, watch cartoons and take a 
пар,” he says. When his wife, Rosanne, 
was in the hospital giving birth to Leo, 
Nigel stayed home to take care of 
Chloe. “A very special time in my life,” 
he says. “I realized what being a moth- 
er is all about. 

“I don't want to be a showman at 
home. I do enough of that on the cir- 
cuit,” he adds. "You're pumped up to 
be such a star. But I don't vant to lose 
the reality of being human. At the end 
ofthe day, we're only fiesh and blood." 

"The key to Nigel is that he can't 
stand to be alone,” says Peter Windsor. 
“He absolutely, positively can't stom- 
ach, detests and can't handle being 
alone. He always surrounds himself 
with people, not so much to be the cen- 
ter of attention but because he needs 
them behind him, waiting for him to 
perform. That's why his family means 
so much to him, and why he used to 
take his mates from the Isle of Man 
along to Formula I races, which drove 
some people nuts. Few understand the 
depth, sincerity and commitment of 
Nigel. If he’s your friend, you couldn't 
ask for a better one.” 

Mansell’s early encounters with 
America, though colorful, were not 
auspicious. The first time he came here 
to race, at the Long Beach Grand Prix 
in 1981, he didn’t understand that 
police take it personally when you run 

(continued on page 148) 


Rl e my 


| 


ей to be a hoot.” 


“Qué pasa, Hideki? You use 


112 


LTERARY 


A READER’S GUIDE TO THE 
COURSE OF AMERICAN LITERATURE 


F YOU ARE tired of hacking away on tra- 
ditional golf courses, you may want to 
try reading these greens and fairways. 
The following front nine illustrates what 
would happen if some of our better- 
known contemporary writers spent 
more of their time thinking about par 
than they do about plot. 


(1) JAY MCINERNEY—PAR 4 


This hole is best played at night. Use your 
clubs randomly. Drive with your wedge, 
putt with your driver. What the hell? You 
can kill the whole night just wandering 
from one club to another, You won't make 
par, anyway. You'll never make par. A string 
of traps lines the fairway. The morning 
could find you in any one of them. 


(2) FLANNERY O'CONNOR—PAR 5 


A good lie is hard to find on this hole. 
Things just seem to go wrong. The dark 
wind, which always gusts from the South, 
plays havoc with your shots. A murky 
stream cuts in front of the green. Odd 
strangers wander onto the fairway from the 
cotton fields that line the hole. If they see 
your ball, they may put it in their pocket 
and offer no explanation. 


(3) DAVID MAMET—PAR 4 


This is a tough hole. This hole you need 
balls to play, bails to play it. This hole sepa- 
rates the men from the boys, the players 
from the children, from the ones who squat 
to pee. Make par on this hole, make par, 
you get on the board. On the board. You 
like, you like this hole. There's a guy in the 
clubhouse, Shelly, in the clubhouse there's a 
guy who will sell it to you. Sell it to you. The 
whole fucking hole. (tex concluded on page 146) 


HUMOR BY BOB SLOAN 


ILLUSTRATION BY STEVEN GUARNACCIA 


(6) NORMAN MAILER: PAR INTERMINABLE 


| I 
PLAYBOYS 
WORLD TOUR '94 


an assembly of international beauties to honor 
40 years of a global playboy 


W E HAVE FRIENDS in the most interesting places. Who would have 
imagined, 40 years ago, that our magazine would be published 
in Poland, Czechoslovakia and Hungary—countries where at one time 
а guy could be arrested for reading PLAYBOY? Now, we're celebrating 
the recent launch of our 17th international edition, in South Africa, and 
in so doing we note with joy and appreciation another important tran- 
sition; that nation’s commitment to racial justice. So sit back and enjoy 
our worldwide freedom ride. We think you'll agree it's worth the trip. 


Our tour begins with Nikki Petersen (opposite page) of Cape Town, South 
Africa. Nikki oppeared in Playboy South Africa to “broaden my horizons." 
Klaudia Keverikeve (right) is a Czech born model. Her lifelong possion for Itoly 
was consummated in o steamy shoot for Playboy Italy. Playboy Hungary's Eliza 
Vezér (below) is a bortender who knows 152 cocktail mixes. The recipe for her 
ideal man? “He's a mixture of Amold Schwarzenegger and Albert Schweitzer” 


115 


Clockwise from top left 
on the opposite page: 
Playboy Turkey's Asli 
gures that one name 
is probobly enough. 
Cristina Mortagua, of 
Rio de Janeiro, loves 
to exercise, flirt and 
dance. This Brozilion 
model says she looks 
for “intelligence and 
charm” in her men. 
Playboy Japan's Hitomi 
Morase is a 22-yeor- 
old jazz dance instruc- 
tor who has a black 
belt in kendo (Japa- 
nese fencing). “I'm a 
very curious person,” 
says Hitomi, "ond | 
hope people ore curi- 
сос about me." Dutch 
born Kim von der 
Мег, who comes to us 
from Playboy Greece, 
thinks her freckles ore 
her most intriguing 
feature. "I'm crazy 
about adventure,” says 
Kim, “so I chose to 
travel.” The travel bug 
is shared by Austro- 
lio's Patricia Jacqueline 
Nicholson (оп this 
poge)—not surprising, 
considering that her 
dad is Anglo-Indian 
and her mom is Span- 
ish-Mexican. "I'm not a 
serious person," cloims 
the 5'3" beauty. “But I 
know what | want and 
usuolly I can get it.” 


al 


aX 
* 


ж 
ж ы 


ж 


ж 


Meet Gwendolyn Boot (left) of 
the Netherlonds, o former 
party onimol who claims thot 
she's now o couch pototo. “I 
like reading,” exploins Gwen- 
dolyn. Whot obout? “Men, of 
course.” Lindo Zwoon (below 
lefi), also from Hollond, ma- 
jored in home economics. 
She con bolance our check- 
book ony time. Hsiu-Fen Lee 
(below right) comes to us 
from Playboy Taiwan. She's 
on English teacher ond amo- 
teur photographer, Moving 
clockwise oround the oppo- 
site poge from top lef: Hol- 
lond's Rochel ter Horst wonts 
to see the world ond loves to 
walk in the summer rain. She 
soys forthrightly: “Sex is im- 
portant to me. But 1 only ao 
for the very best—sex that | 
still remember weeks loter." 
British-born Cloire-Louise of 
Playboy Germany soys she of- 
ten makes hosty decisions: “If 
| get on interesting offer, I 
don't hesilote." Argentino's 
Mönico Guido is on octress 
who's appeored in her coun- 
try both in theater ond on TV. 
From Playboy Poland comes 
Molwino Rzeczkowska, o mu: 
sic lover who's not crazy 
obout winters in Polond, but 
who worms up with dancing. 


Moving clockwise from the top 
left around the opposite page: 
Say iholo! to Victoria Llena, a 
stage actress who was the 
15th Anniversary Playmate for 
Playboy Spain last Navember. 
“Being a Playmate has been 
like a magic adventure,” says 
Victoria, wha loved pasing for 
тлүвоү Contributing Photogra- 
pher Pompeo Posar. And 26- 
year-old Maggie Ng cames to 
us from Playboy Hong Kang, 
where che worke as а photog 
ropher's assistant. Jiussana 
Briseño of Guadalojara, Mexica 
enjoys pointing, writing and 
dancing to flamenco music. 
Jiussana is proud ta appear in 
PLAYBOY, іп the tradition of her 
idol, Marilyn Manroe. Markéta 
Vaculova, who enjays cooking 
and making jewelry when she 
isn’t off on a madeling jab, was 
Playboy Czechoslavakia's First 
Anniversary Playmate. Says 
Markéta, “Posing nude means 
new energy and freedom for 
me.” At right is Mari Alexandre, 
а 21-year-old beauty fram 
Brazil. Mari tells us that she's 
laoking for a man who's "pa- 
lite, kind, tender and sincere.” 


вот 


122 


COURT ID conte rom paee 100) 


“William Kennedy Smith was dragged into the dock, 
and.a generation of Court TV junkies was born.” 


than he did. The camera in the back of 
the courtroom has zoomed in on Lyle's 
face. Itis slashed with pain. His voice is 
out of control over the full range of 
emotional stutter and fade and sob. 
“And then... he'd take .. . the tooth- 
brush .. . and. . 

“Could he be acting?” asks the CTV 
anchor during а break in the action. 

“I don't think anybody's that good 
an actor,” answers the guest analyst, 
опе of three or four lawyers rotated іп 
and out of the New York studios over 
the course of the day to talk about the 
offensive and defensive strategies of 
the case, to critique the demeanor of 
lawyers and witnesses and explain the 
legal zigs and zags. They remind me of 
NFL color commentators, and they 
come to their work with a bucket of 
clichés as deep as anything that slops 
over the stadium TV booths, 

Including: Never ask a question you 
don't know the answer to. You have to 
havea theory; you have to know where 
you're going. On defense, you have to 
humanize your dient. If you go too 
long, you'll lose the jury. We lawyers 
tend to forget how sophisticated juries 
arc. Most cases are won or lost on voir 
dire. Of course, it's easy to sit up here 
and criticize; it's a lot different when 
you're down there in the pit. 

Sometimes, the commentators slip 
into analogies that obliterate the differ- 
ence between sports and trial lawyer- 
ing: "These trials are like a boxing 
match. Cross-examination is like your 
jab. You have to continue to punch." 

“Did you love your mother?" the 
prosecutor asks Lyle. 

"I loved my mother." 

"When you put the shotgun up 
against her left cheek and pulled the 
trigger, did you love her?” 

“Yes,” he says, his voice trembling. 

“Was that an act of love?” 

Lyle pretty much took a standing 
eight count on that one, but body 
punches like that are rare in the live, 
gavel-to-gavel coverage you get on 
CTV. The pace of these trials crawls, 
lurches, stalls and repeats testimony as 
if the lawyers generally believe justice 
to be not only blind but deaf, forgetful 
and stupid as well. 


“The real thing isn’t pretty,” says 
Steven Brill. But, he adds, “It is a sys- 


tem whose values are so special that it's 
hard not to come away from it all with 
a proud chill." 

Brill's goose bumps are probably 
augmented by the fact that CTV was 
his idea. He is a lawyer and a journalist, 
and he runs the influential legal jour- 
nal American Lawyer. An articulate and 
flamboyant 43-year-old, he uses his ci- 
gar like a baton as he talks about his vi- 
sion for a new age of nonfiction court- 
room television that will, once and for 
all, strip the legal profession of its Perry 
Mason and L.A. Law mythology. 

And if the CTV color commentators 
seem to treat trial lawyering as a game, 
it's because that's exactly what it is. 
Brill calls it “a game in which the qual- 
ity of the players and their strategies 
counts. A game dramatically at odds 
with the impression laypeople get from 
the perfectly scripted, always articulate 
lawyer heroes of fictional television. A 
game in which the lawyers are fallible 
human beings with varying skills and a 
propensity to cough and shuffle papers 
and hesitate and misspeak. A game no 
one should be ashamed of. Yes, a na- 
tional pastime—that we should cherish 
and even geta kick out of watching on 
the tube.” 

As hard as it may be to try to sell a 
national pastime slower than baseball, 
Brill did it. He raised $40 million from 
Time Warner, NBC and others, and 
the Courtroom Television Network de- 
buted on July 1, 1991, with coverage 
of four trials. The channel has been 
on the air every minute of every day 
since then, broadcasting trials chosen 
from the 2 million cases a year that 
grind their way through the justice sys- 
tem in the 47 states thatallow television 
cameras into the courtroom. 

Over its first five months, CTV put 
the unblinking eye on a wide range of 
proceedings, about half of them mur- 
der or lesser criminal offenses, half civ- 
il suits. Viewership built slowly. Then 
lightning struck: William Kennedy 
Smith was dragged into the dock in 
West Palm Beach, Florida on a rape 
charge. CTV was the pool camera, and 
though it was not the only network to 
broadcast the proceedings, its relent- 
less coverage of the trial (and the carni- 
val that surrounded it) tripled its rat- 
ings in some markets, and a generation 
of Court TV junkies was born. 


The Smith trial was my first fix of 
CTV. It started casually enough. I 
thought Га tune in here and there for 
an update or a snippet of testimony. 
From the newspaper accounts I had 
read and the gossip I had heard, 1 had 
no doubt that he was guilty. The rich 
are always guilty in my little kanga- 
roo court, and I started watching the 
trial with the sincere hope that Smith 
was going to have his privileged ass 
marched straight through the process 
and strapped into a du! ig stool. 

But as witness after witness took the 
stand and were examined and cross- 
examined, as the accuser wept through 
her testimony, as the accused stuck to 
his version like a man on a ledge, the 
story itself swept me away. I watched 
live testimony almost every day, and 
when my own life tore me away from 
the tube, I caught up by watching the 
taped replay CTV ran at night. And 
somewhere in the course of the testi- 
mony, a rare and wonderful thing hap- 
pened—I changed my mind. 

By the time the jury voted, I voted 
with them: not guilty. Which didn't 
mean innocent. Smith didn't tell the 
whole truth, I knew that. But when 
you've watched as much CTV as I 
have, what you come to believe is that 
all accusers, accused and witnesses 
lie—a little or a lot—the way all offen- 
sive linemen use their hands to hold 
back the pass rush. The verdict comes 
down to whether or not you can catch 
them at it. 


It hasn't been easy to catch the 
Menendez brothers lying. They've had 
four years since the killings to prepare 
their long and twisted story, and dur- 
ing that time they've come up with in- 
nocent explanations for most of the de- 
tails that might otherwise make them 
look guilty of premeditation. On the 
stand, Lyle was particularly good at the 
bob and weave that kept him from be- 
ing caught flat-footed in a lie. 

But here is younger brother Erik, 
about to wander into an ambush that 
will leave his credibility badly wound- 
ed, maybe dead. This is the shaky 
brother, the one who allegedly con- 
fessed the killings to his shrink, Jerome 
Oziel, which is the only reason these 
two were arrested for the crime. The 
camera has often caught Erik at 
the witness table gnawing at the last 
shreds of his fingernails. A recurring 
caption under his pallid face tells us 
that he is on Xanax as he testifies. 

Under cross-examination, he tries to 
explain why he and Lyle drove all the 
way to San Diego and used a false ID to 

(continued on page 143) 


“Brace yourself, doctor—it's another one of those!” 


123 


GP elle RERRY 


H alle Berry, the 25-year-old Cleveland- 
born actress and former beauty pag- 
eant contestant, knows how to leave a last- 
ing impression. She brought an earthbound 
sweelness to “Strictly Business" and 
Last Boy Scout” and siraight-backed dignity 
to the six-hour miniseries “Queen.” For 
Spike Lee's “Jungle Fever,” she gave а tan- 
cid-mouthed crackhead some dimension. In 
“Boomerang,” Berry turned her third-lead, 
nice-girl art director into an impressive 
scene-stealer, 

Now Berry is taking off in another direc- 
tion, showing up as Rosetta Stone, a slither- 
ing, prehistoric temptress in Universal's 
“The Flintstones,” co-starring John Good- 
man and Elizabeth Taylor, Midway through 
the shoot, we sent writer Margy Rochlin to 
speak with Berry at her West Hollywood ho- 
tel room: “The first thing Halle did,” says 
Rochlin, “was offer me a weak handshake 
and admit that the idea of a long interview 
made her nervous. Then she threw herself 
down on her white couch and blabbed for the 
next two hours. She kept pleading, ‘If you 
get bored, just tell me.’ She never gave me a 
reason to.” 


a 


PLAYBOY: In order to prepare for your 
role as a crack addict in Jungle Fever, 
you didn't bathe for ten days. What is 
the up side of skipping your morning 
shower? 
BERRY: It was a freeing experience. We 
are so civilized. We have to be clean 
and smell nice and look pretty. It was 
refreshing just to 


hollywood’s let myself go and 
not care. 

freshest face _1dread getting 

up in the morn- 

speaks out ing and taking a 

2 2% shower, putting 

on insulting | on makeup and 

E fixing my hair. 

rap lyrics With that role, I 

could just рор 

and recre- out of bed, have 

3 my breakfast and 

ational go. I didn't even 

Б brush my teeth, 

Swearing and You know how 

" you get those lit- 

warns robin ile razor bumps 

when you shave 

givens NOt tO under your arms 


too much? I 
didn't have that. 
And when I final- 
ly did shave, it 
was like a baby's 


pick a fight 
ЕЕ] 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY GWENDOLEN CATES 


bottom under my arms. I was showing 
everybody: “Look how pretty my un- 
derarms are!” 


2. 


PLAYBOY: Did a different sort of guy 
start following you home? 

BERRY: The bums! [Leughs] The bums 
were like, “Hey, baby, you're looking 
pretty good.” It was funny because ГА 
actually talk to them. Some of them are 
crazy; they really need to be in a men- 
tal institution. But others really do 
have something to say. They're just 
down on their luck. 


3. 


PLAYBOY: We know about the straw, 
blue, rasp and cran. What distinguish- 
es the Halleberry? 

BERRY: The Halleberry is a very sweet 
berry, and that's important. Being 
sweet and nice to people goes a long, 
long way. 


4. 


PLAYBOY: When can a lady use four-let- 
wer words? 

BERRY: When I'm really in the mood or 
pissed off, I can curse with the best of 
them. That is so much a part of me. 
But I curse only when I'm with my 
friends—I don’t do it in public. In Jun- 
gle Fever, 1 could do and say whatever I 
wanted because I was that character. I 
could say “Fuck everybody!” I had all 
these fantasies that I would tell Spike to 
fuck himself. But I never did. 


5. 


PLAYBOY: What's something that your 
husband, Atlanta Braves outfielder 
David Justice, doesn’t appreciate about 
you that a movie director would? 
BERRY: That I cry a lot. When I cry my 
husband sometimes doesn't react like 
there's a woman crying but says, 
“Come on, stop crying." If I didn't cry 
all the time, maybe he'd be more fran- 
tic like he’s supposed to be. But I'm 
just real emotional. I cry when I'm 
mad, I cry when I'm sad, I cry when 
I'm happy. I cry a lot. Except when I'm 
doing a film. When they say “cry,” all of 
asudden I get dry. 


6. 


PLAYBOY: What do you do when you 
go to the ballpark and your husband 
goes 0 for 4? 

BERRY: I couldn't care less. I love him 
no matter what he’s batting. But I feel 


bad for him because I know he's going 
to feel really down about it. He’s going 
to take the heat from the press, from 
the fans. I hurt for him. 

But I don't go to the games anymore 
unless they're All-Star or playoff games. 
Now I watch them on TV. Whenever I 
was home, I would always go to the sta- 
dium and sit there and be a good wife. 
But I get so frustrated when he’s not 
having a good day. I hear people say- 
ing, “Justice, you suck!” “Trade him!” 
Or he'll come up to bat and they'll say, 
“This time try to hit something besides 
air!” I take it personally. He's my baby, 
and I just don't like it. If I weren't 
Halle Berry, I would go off on some of 
those people. I feel like saying, “Hey, 
buddy, can you hit a ball going 95 miles 
an hour? Then shut the fuck up!” That 
is the ultimate fantasy. 


7. 


PLAYBOY: How did you make your 
peace with baseball? 

BERRY: I had to make a real effort at 
first. Those games are long. At my first 
baseball ваше, I was ready to go afier 
an hour. Once I started to learn about 
the game—the intricate parts of it, the 
pitches, the plays, how to keep score— 
that made the time go by. Now I can sit 
through a three-hour game and think, 
Wow, where did the time go? 


8. 


PLAYBOY: You were first attracted to 
your husband when you spotted him 
on MTV. If someone hadn't hooked 
you up, what would have been your 
next move? 

BERRY: I had it all planned out, which is 
kind of sick. I was in South Carolina 
making Queen, and I was going to have 
my sister go with me to a Braves game. 
І was going to come up with some rea- 
son why I had to go down into the tun- 
nel. I mean, I wasn't going to come on 
to him. I had just gotten over a really 
bad relationship and I had banned 
men for at least a year. 

But I just knew that if I could look 
him in the face, he'd fall in love with 
me and Га fall in love with him. 

I'd already started to go through the 
motions. I found out when the team 
was going to be in Atlanta and I tried to 
plan my flight. Then all of a sudden it 
hit me: No man's going to want a 
woman this desperate. I'm going to 
look like an asshole. 

Then, two (continued on page 146) 


126 


SKURK 


SILVERSTEIN’S 
ZOO 


we fondly reprise an 
imaginary menagerie 
for children of all ages 
e THE FRIENDLY OLD SLEEPY-EYED SKURK 
HEL SILVERSTEIN The Sleepy-Eyed Skurk, he’s a nice old thing, 
OS He'll let you sit inside his mouth 
If you knock on his chin, 
He'll let you in. 
But I rather doubt 
He'll let you out. 
SQUISHY 
SQUASHY 


STAGGITALL 


THE WORST 


When 

Singing songs of 

Scaryness, 

Of bloodyness 

And hairyness, 
I-feel-obligated-at-this-moment-to-remind-you 
Of-the-most-ferocious-beast-of-all, 
Six thousand tons 

And nine miles tall, 

The Squishy Squashy Staggitall . . . 
That's standing right behind you. 


GLUB-TOOTHED 
SLINE 


WHEN THE SLINE 
COMES TO DINE 


When the Glub-Toothed Sline 

Comes to my house to dine, 

You may find me in France or Detroit 
Or offin Khartoum, 

Or in the spare room 

Of my Unde Ed's place in Beloit. 


You may call me in Philly, 

Racine or Rabat. 

You may reach me in Malmö or Ghor. 
You may see me in Paris, 

And likely as not, 

You will run into me at the store. 


You may find me in Hamburg, 
Or up in Saint Paul, 

In Kyoto, Kenosha or Gnome. 
But one thing is sure, 

If you find me at all, 

You never shall find me at home. 


QUICK-DIGESTING SNEET 


OOOPS! 


We've been caught by a Quick-Digesting Sneer, 
And now we are dodging his molars, 

And now we are restin’ 

In his lower intestine, 

And now we're back out on the street... 


PLEASE BE KIND 


Please be kind to the One-Legged Zantz. 
Consider his feelings, 
Don't ask him to dance. 


127 


QUICK-DISGUISING GINNIT 


THE GINNIT 
This is the Quick-Disguising Ginnit. 
Didn’t he have you fooled for a minute? 


MUFFER 


SEE THE MUFFER 


Above, you see the Muffer, who... 
You don't? 


Well anyway, you see his tracks, the Muffer has gone to sup... 


You don’t? 
Why, that sly old beast . . . 
I do believe he’s gone and covered them up! 


WILD 
CHEROTE 


ACOAT OF CHEROTE 


Td like a coat of Wild Cherote. 

It's warm and fleecy as can be. 

But note: What if the Wild Cherote 
Would like a coat of Me? 


UNDERSLUNG ZATH 


THE WRATH OF THE ZATH 


I fear the wrath 

Of the Underslung Zath. 
Will someone else tell him 
It’s time for his bath? 


A FAMILY AFFAIR 


Oh, the Bulbulous Brole 

Is a beast with a soul 

And a manner serene and sedate. 
A model of meekness, 

With only one weakness, 

And that is for eating his mate, 
Heigh-ho, 

A masculine need for his mate. 


Now the White-Breasted Murd 
Is a delicate bird, 

With a song that is tenderly sung. 
She is gentle and shy, 

With a matronly eye, 


And a fondness for eating her young, 


Heigh-ho, 
A motherly love for her young. 


The young Gross-Bottomed Grood— 
He takes milk for his food 

And goopies and bran for his tummy. 
And he goos with delight, 

When sometimes at night, 

He can swallow his daddy and mummy, 
Heigh-ho, 

A filial love fills his tummy. 


And, oh, were you here 

For the wedding, my dear? 

And the quiet buffet that ensued? 

When the Bulbulous Brole 

Wed the Murd, I am tole, 

And produced a young Gross-Bottomed Grood, 
Heigh-ho, 

A gurgling Gross-Bottomed Grood. 


129 


FLATT E OT 


130 


ШК consires fon page 20) 


“She strode to the bar a pure Rocky Mountain 
beauty. ‘Now that,’ I said, is a real woman.” 


“No,” said Wally, “she’s been teach- 
ing tots all season.” 

“Tots?” Fritz stumbled as though the 
word were foreign. 

“Bambinos?” Manny questioned in 
disbelief. 

“Day care?” I said. 

Skiing for Tots was a glorified nurs- 
ery school at the base of the gondola. 
The tots shuffled around on short skis 
inside a fenced playground decorated 
with painted plywood knockoffs of fa- 
mous cartoon characters. The play- 
ground itself was so Rat that it didn't 
even have a lift. Tots instructors spent 
most of their time finding lost mittens 
or unbundling their tiny charges for 
trips to the potty. 

Susi Fallows ripped the last few gates 
and popped a ski through the timing 
beam. The Hamsters cheered, smug to 
the last man. Our woman Wittgenstein 
was nowhere to be seen. 

“Welcome Wagon,” said the loud- 
speaker, “has DQed.” 

Manny groaned and pointed. Far off 
to our left, well off the course, a small 
yellow figure hurtled down the moun- 
tain in wide, out-of-control turns. On 
the still air came the sound of sobbing. 

The Hamsters, the most successful 
league team in recent memory, ex- 
changed two-handed rapid-fire high 
fives, as though they were real ham- 
sters running in an exercise wheel, 
Then they formed a circle, stuck their 
gloved paws together in the center and 
gave their famous hamster-in-the-mi- 
crowave shout. It started low and built 
to a high-pitched squeal. “Squueeaakk!” 

Off they skied, down to the base 
lodge to drink and celebrate some 
more. And we, who wondered what it 
was like to win, slowly followed. 


We skipped the base lodge with its 
pet-shop atmosphere of happy Ham- 
sters and après-ski tourists. We drove 
down to Avon to the one place where 
we could always count on being at least 
semidepressed—the Hole in the Wall. 

We pulled into the lot in Fritz' red 
pickup, decorated with four FIREFIGHT- 
ERS ARE HOT bumper stickers, and 
parked next to the other salt-stained 
pickups, beaters and Blazers. Dumping 
our skis in the frozen rack out front, we 
clomped in and tramped over damp 
sawdust and empty peanut shells to a 
corner table. Fritz ordered a pitcher. 


Nobody felt much like talking. 

A few out-of-place tourists sat at the 
bar in their aprés togs, sipping mixed 
drinks and Coronas with limes. Next to 
them were some big boys in insulated 
coveralls, just down from the molybde- 
num mine at Climax, as well as several 
bearded claim workers from Leadville. 
Near the bar, two Vail lift operators 
threw darts. One of them toed a line of 
silver duct tape, leaned forward and 
flicked a dart into the triple 20. 

“Come on, guys,” said Fritz. 
up. Remember why we race. 

There was a long silence. 

Manny broke the tension. “Why?” 

“For the fun of it,” said Fritz. 

We stared at him. 

“Hey,” said Fritz, “next week's the 
last race of the season. Who should we 
be this time? How about famous totali- 
tarian dictators? Гус got dibs on Sta- 
lin—he's a Red.” 

No one answered. 

“Famous medieval martyrs?” 

“What we need,” I told them, “is a 
woman.” 

Wally winced. 

In the far corner the identical Swen- 
son twins were shooting eight ball. 
Tom, the one with crooked teeth, twist- 
ed a cube of blue chalk on his cue tip 
while Tim lined up an easy shot into 
the corner pocket. Tim struck the ball 
solidly, but it nicked one cushion and 
bounced back and forth in the mouth 
of the pocket. Both twins exclaimed 
loudly over the miss, fishing for a suck- 
er for a money game. 

The fun-loving Swenson twins were 
the main reason that the Secret Ser- 
vice—assigned to protect Gerald Ford's 
home at Beaver Creek—no longer per- 
mitted its agents to come to the Hole in 
the Wall. A few weeks earlier, two off- 
duty agents had been drinking near 
the pool table when the twins began to 
work them over. Without ever looking, 
the twins poked them with pool cues 
on the backswing and occasionally sent 
the cue ball popping off the table in 
their general direction, apologizing all 
the while. Finally, the four of them had 
headed out to the parking lot to have it 
out mano a mano. 

The fight itself was disappointing. 
Federal cutbacks have really hurt the 
quality of Secret Service training. 

Rumor had it that two new agents 
had been assigned as replacements, but. 
nobody had actually seen them yet. 
"The agents spent their working hours 


"Cheer 


hiding with walkie-talkies, staking out 
Ford's house and the dead-end road 
that led up to it. They watched the 
house year-round, whether or not the 
ex-president was there. In their free 
time they skied. 

With a blast of cold the door swung 
open and in sauntered Molly Swenson. 
She strode to the bar, a vision of pure 
Rocky Mountain beauty. Her cheeks 
and nose were red with cold, her blue 
eyes glistened with windblown tears 
and her cracked lips shone with a thick 
layer of Carmex. Her sun-damaged 
hair, flecked with snow, hung halfway 
down the back of her stained sheepskin 
coat. She wore loose wool pants and 
a scuffed pair of caribou boots, and 
she smelled of all the right things— 
woodsmoke, strong coffee, damp Ger- 
man shepherds and scorched ski wax. 

She nodded slightly to her two old- 
er brothers and ordered a double 
whiskey—neat. 

“Now that,” I said, “isa real woman.” 

“Not a chance,” said Fritz. 

Barely 20, Molly had already been 
the ruin of more than one man in Ea- 
gle County. The entire sprawling Swen- 
son clan, from the old man all the way 
down to Molly and the twins, had been 
born with a streak of recklessness a 
mile wide. Molly had used that streak 
to become a first-class downhill racer at 
Rattle Mountain High School, headed 
for a state championship until the 
coach kicked her off the team for skip- 
ping practices. The coach said she 
lacked discipline. Truth was, Molly 
raced for the thrill of it, the adrenaline 
tush of pushing to the edge of disaster 
and then riding that edge all the way to 
the bottom. The more she practiced, 
the less thrill there was. So she stopped 
practicing. 

Still, she was good enough to win a 
ski scholarship to the University of Col- 
orado down in Boulder. She stuck it 
out for a year and then dropped out to 
rock climb, windsurf, bungee jump 
and ski extreme—all of which cost 
money. She moved back to Vail and be- 
gan dating Todd Brenner, a senior 
guide for Vail Mountain Outfitters. 
‘Todd had made two assaults on Everest 
and spent an entire winter camping in 
Alaska’s Brooks Range. Neither pre- 
pared him for Molly. 

Within three months he'd spent half 
his life savings, lost two thirds of his 
mountaineering equipment, smashed 
his white-water kayak, fallen while ice 
dimbing and broken an axle on his 
Blazer on a boulder 12,000 feet up the. 
Gore Range. Noone was surprised that 
Todd couldn't afford her But every 
outdoorsman among us was horrified 
to learn that even he couldn't keep up 
with her. 

With that, Molly's social life ground 


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KEITH ROBINSON 


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131 


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134 


toa halt. No man in Eagle County would 
date her. Soon word spread to Summit 
County and the rest of the high country. 
She became known across the entire 
western slope as a beautiful untouch- 
able, a divine curse, the ultimate widow- 
maker. Men traveled from miles around 
just to gawk. They stared at her as 
though standing on a trail face-to-face 
with an eight-foot mountain lion or a 
record timber rattler. 

Molly turned to the tourists, who were 
willing but weak. Vacationing stockbro- 
kers, bankers, lawyers, surgeons and 
wet-behind-the-ears MBAs flocked to 
her. But their desk jobs and motorized 
stair machines had in no way prepared 
them for a night out with Molly. They 
rarely survived the pre-dinner drinks, 
full-course dinner with wine and after- 
dinner drinks—much less the night to- 
bogganing, snow tag, snowball fights, 
tequila shots and frantic jitterbugging 
and Western stomping. None of them 
had made itas far as her bed. 

And woe betide the foolish, hung-over 
tourist who tried to ski with her the next 
day. Molly had a special fondness for 
jumping cornices in the Back Bowls and 
blazing off-piste through the trees. She 
loved to schuss the Volkswagen-size 
moguls of Tourist Trap. or do a full- 
speed tuck under the logs that had been 
felled by Vail Associates to block off 
Hairbag Alley once and for all. Molly 
had become a pillar of the local ortho- 


pedic-surgery industry, with a steady 
stream of would-be suitors hauled down 
the mountain on sleds. 

“Seriously,” said Wally, “how are you 
going to get Molly to race? She hasn't 
raced on a league team for years.” 

“Easy,” I said. “I'll use psychology.” 

I was the egghead of our team, the 
guy with the B.A. in history from Col- 
orado College. “Pll use the one surefire 
way to get exactly what you want.” 

“Which is?” prompted Fritz. 

“Ask.” 

Fritz groaned. “I know women,” he 
said. “I'll never work.” 

I pushed back my chair and began my 
long walk toward Molly. Most of the tru- 
ly stupid things men do they do out of 
peer pressure. Two boys on a play- 
ground who would be just as happy to 
shake hands and walk away will pound 
each other senseless if egged on by their 
friends. Which is why women hate going 
to football games. Grown men are fine 
by themselves, but they tend to degener- 
ate in groups. 

As I walked, I felt my friends’ eyes hot 
on my back. Through the soles of my ski 
boots, my feet recorded the fine texture 
of the sawdust and the crunch of each 
peanut shell. My mouth went dry and 
my tongue thickened as if I'd crawled 
through the desert for weeks on end. 

I sat down on the stool next to Molly. 
She turned and arched a perfect eye- 
brow, outlined by a thin white scar. 


“It’s all the violence that does it.” 


“Jase,” she answered. 

“Buy you a beer?” I blurted and im- 
mediately regretted it. 

She had a full shot of whiskey in front 
of her and two untouched beers by her 
elbow. As I sat there, a second whiskey 
arrived. The bartender nodded toward 
the other end of the bar, where a tourist 
in a Day-Glo lime-and-pink jacket smiled 
meaningfully. Molly beamed back. 

She pushed the newly arrived glass to- 
ward me. “Whiskey?” 

“No, thanks,” I said and prepared to 
launch into my appeal. 

Tim appeared on the other side of 
Molly and swiped a mug of beer 
“Thanks, Sis,” he whispered. He looked 
at one of the tourists and lofted the beer. 
“Cheers,” he said in a fake English ac- 
cent and went back to the pool table. 

“Molly,” I said, “I'd like to ask you 
something.” 

“Something personal?” 

“Not exactly. We've known each other 
along time, right?” 

“Sure,” she said. “I’m a native, and 
you're damn near one.” 

“1 was wondering if you could do me a 
favor.” 

“Maybe. But then you'd owe me.” She 
sipped her whiskey. “What's the favor?” 

“Tim left the pool table and walked 
down the bar to the tourist in lime and 
pink. “So,” I heard Tim say, “interested 
in my sister? No promises, but if you buy 
mea beer. .. .” 

I shifted my attention back to Molly. 
“Well, I was just wondering if maybe, 
you know, you could kind of help 
me out.” 

“Like what?” she asked. Her eyes were 
the deep blue of a mountain lake, emp- 
tied of life by acid rain. 

Istammered. "Like maybe ski for us.” 

“Jase, Jase,” she said. “You know I 
don't skileague.” 

“I know, but maybe as kind of an end- 
of-the-season joke...” 

A keen sense of humor ran in the 
Swenson family. “Which team?” 

“You can always race under an as- 
sumed name,” I said. 

“Which team?” she asked a bit louder. 

“Well, it's kind of a public-service 
organization.” 

Molly stared expectantly. 

“Welcome Wagon,” I said. 

“No.” She tossed back the rest of her 
whiskey. “No way. 1 will not race for any- 
thing as uncool as Welcome Wagon.” 

A heavy paw fell on my left shoul- 
der. “Sis?” asked Tom, lisping through 
his crooked teeth. “Is this guy bother- 
ing you?” 

Of all Molly’s brothers, Tom was her 
favorite. A few years back, a biker had 
started picking on Tom, calling him a 
"re-tard." Molly had picked up a pool 
cue and broken his jaw. 

“Geez.” 1 stood and carefully removed 
Tom's hand. “Remember me? Jason? We 


played football together at Battle Moun- 
tain High?” 

"Oh, hey,” he said. Tom had been a fe- 
rocious starting guard who could never 
remember his blocking assignments. Be- 
fore each game he wrote the plays on 
pieces of tape and wrapped them round 
his wrists. Unfortunately, we usually 
played on muddy fields and the plays 
soon became illegible. The coach made it 
my job, on every down, to tell Tom his 
blocking assignments. 

“Sure I remember you,” said Tom, 
and then added hopefully, “Wanna go 
out in the parking lot?” 

“Nope,” I said. I walked back to where 
the rest of the team was waiting. They'd 
been watching and didn't need an expla- 
nation. Wally ordered another pitcher. 
We talked about how the Broncos might 
do next fall and what we'd do after the 
end of ski season. Fritz was flying to 
Mexico for a week of beach and cantinas. 
Wally was driving home to see his par- 
ents. And Manny and 1 were just going 
to kick back, maybe rent a car and run 
down to Vegas. 

“Here,” said Tom. He tossed a loose 
mass of twisted metal in front of me. It 
jangled as it hit the tabletop. Spoons, 
forks and knives from the bar's kitchen 
were bent around one another like links 
in a chain, along with two twisted keys, 
an unraveled coat hanger from the rack 
by the door, several unidentifiable bits of 
metal and an out-of state license plate. 

“Now do you want to go out in the 
parking lot?” 

Тот had always taken great joy in 
twisting things. As a child he'd broken 
most of his toys, mangled the antennas 
on the family TV and ridden stolen bicy- 
cles into brick walls while pretending to 
be a crash dummy. His destructive in- 
stincts had served him well on the foot- 
ball team. But on the ski team it had 
been another matter. Rather than ski 
around the gates, Tom had insisted on 
knocking them down with forearm slams. 

The twisted pile of metal reminded 
me of something Pd seen before. I 
turned it over. The pieces slumped into 
anew shape and a vague memory tickled 
my mind. 

“Hey,” yelped one of the tourists, 
“that’s my license plate.” 

Tom turned to him, ever hopeful. “Do 
you want to go out in the parking lot?" 

It came back to me then. Art history. 
Twisted pieces of naked metal by Moore, 
Calder and Oldenburg. “Art,” I told 
Tom. “This is a work of modern art.” 

“Yeah?” 

The tourist stepped between us. “You 
half-wit,” he said in disbelief. "You 
ripped off my license plate.” 

I leaned around the tourist. “Definite 
talent,” I told Tom. “Listen, when can we 
talk about this?” 

"Uh... ..” Tom was momentarily taken 
aback. 

The tourist grabbed Tom by the arm. 


“You're going to pay for this. Those 
plates cost me 40 bucks apiece.” 

The bartender broke in. “All right, 
guys. You know the drill. Take it 
outside.” 

The two of them walked out the door 
followed, of course, by the rest of us— 
Tim, Molly, the miners from Climax, the 
claim workers from Leadville, the lift op- 
erators and team Welcome Wagon. And 
the fight? Well, they just don't make 
tourists like they used to. 


At LI р.м. I reported to my job at the 
Poste Montane at Beaver Creek, where I 
worked the night desk. I figure that 
there are two kinds of jobs in life—real 
jobs and rock-and-roll jobs. Real jobs re- 
quire concentration. Rock-and-roll jobs 
you can do just as well while listening to 
Megadeth. 
ht desk at the Poste Montane was 
у itself. It also meant that when- 
ever it snowed I was awake and ready for 
first tracks. I checked the reservations 
for late check-ins. Then I took two 
requests for wake-up calls, filled out the 
day's accounting sheet and entered the 
numbers in the computer. By one a.m. 1 
was snoozing in the back room. 

At 5:30 АМ. the alarm jolted me 
awake. I scurried into the kitchen, set 
the coffee to brew and microwaved 
frozen muffins and ham-and-cheese 
croissants for the hotel’s complimentary 
breakfast. I munched down two crois- 
sants—strictly verboten for the hired 
help—lighted a couple of logs in the lob- 
by fireplace and set the side table. I 


finished just in time to start the wake- 
up calls. 

Outside, thin flakes drifted steadily 
down on the 14 or 15 inches that had 
built up overnight. I went out and 
kicked through the new-fallen snow. 
The flakes burst apart, filling the air with 
glittering dust. 


The twins were right where I figured 
they'd be, waiting for the quad chair to 
open. Both had on their powder skis, 
long GS boards with lots of surface and 
the steel edges rounded to nearly noth- 
ing. They wore neon jackets to make it 
easier for the tourists to follow. 

I cocked the bindings on my Olins and 
tossed them down on the corrugated 
snow groomed by last night's Snow Cats. 
I snapped on my skis and began to 
stretch. Moments later the lift attendant 
removed the crossed bamboo poles and 
motioned us toward the detached quad 
chair. “Do us a favor,” he said 10 the 
twins. “Ski inbounds.” 

We sat. The chair rattled down the 
chute, clamped onto the moving cable 
and swept skyward, No one pulled down 
the safety bar. 

“So, Tom,” I said, “have you thought 
about last night?” 

“Sure have,” he said, smiling. He had 
a purple shadow under one eye. “Boy, 
was that fun.” 

“No, no,” 1 said. “Art. What do you 
think about art?” 

"Art who?” cut in Тіт, as clever as 
always. 

“Noah's Art,” said Tom. 

“Art O'Choke,” said Tim. 

“Art Vark," said Tom. 


"You couldn't get me to try this 
even if we were married!" 


135 


SERA S45 LI? 


136 


1 chimed in. “Art Crane.” 

"They stopped laughing. The quad 
chair rose and fell over several lift tow- 
ers. The only sound vas the low, vibrat- 
ing hum of the steel cable as it ran 
through the tower pulleys. 

"Tom," I said, "I really liked the sculp- 
ture you did last night. I thought it 
was... interestin; 

“Especially with the license plate,” 
said Tim. 

1 ignored him. “I could dig up some 
books, show you some famous art made 
out of nothing but twisted metal.” 

Tom looked from me to Tim and 
back again. 

“Well,” he said, “maybe.” 

We passed the last tower and descend- 
ed. With a clang the quad chair detached 
from the cable and slowed to a crawl. 
‘The three of us stood and then skied a 
hundred yards or so down the moun- 
tain. Our skis ran silent beneath the 
new-fallen snow. 

“Help you make tracks?” I offered. 

“Tim shrugged. “Sure. We'll even give 
you a lift back to town.” 

We leaned on our poles, watching the 
quad chairs come over the rise. Six or 
seven came up empty. But the next chair 
was full—four male tourists in bright 
one-piece powder suits. They skied a 
short distance, stopped and waited. The 
following chair brought up two more. 

“Victims?” asked Tom. 

“Victims,” said Tim “Dead in our 
sights.” He shoved off down the moun- 


tain, whooping loudly. Tom and 1 fol- 
lowed with a couple of loud yahoos. 

We glided through the knee-deep 
powder, rhythmically bouncing from 
side to side, carving endless S-curves in 
the untouched snow as we wove our 
tracks in a smooth triple braid. We 
looked and sounded like a bunch of lo- 
cals on our way toa secret trove of cham- 
pagne powder. And the tourists followed. 

Turn after turn, the green tips of my 
Olins broke the surface and plunged be- 
low like a porpoise sewing stitches in the 
sea. I felt no bottom, no edges, no vibra- 
tions. All was smooth and quiet. ‘The on- 
ly clues that I was even moving were the 
wind in my face and the dark pines rush- 
ing up the mountain toward me. 

At the bottom of the first pitch, Tim 
pulled up. Tom and I curved to a stop 
beside him. "Whooo-wheee!" yelled 
Tim. I sneaked a quick look back up the 
slope. The tourists were hot on our heels. 

"Tim shoved off again, but this time he 
сш onto an old burn that ran at right an- 
gles. We followed him, still whooping and 
hollering. In the new snow, the tourists 
had no idea they'd even left the trail. 

At the bottom of the burn, Tim cut on- 
to the lower half of an avalanche chute 
and then into a meadow. Still the tourists 
followed. Down we skied, lower and low- 
er, lower than the lowest chair at Beaver 
Creek. For several hundred yards we 
slalomed through a pine forest, cutting 
hetween the individual trees, their 


boughs bent with snow. Tom nicked a 


: 
Os 


“You act like you’ve never seen a knight owl before!” 


branch and it sprang up, powder ex- 
ploding in all directions. The tourists fell 
behind at the edge of the forest, but we 
knew they'd follow our tracks. They no 
longer had a choice. 

We flattened out onto an old logging 
road. Up ahead, three Swenson cabs 
were parked in the clearing, ski racks on 
top, white clouds of exhaust pumping 
out the tailpipes. Old man Swenson 
leaned against the lead cab and lighted a 
fresh Marlboro from a dying butt. 

“Morning,” he said, and then to the 
twins, “I was beginning to wonder if you 
boys had give it up altogether.” The old 
man took a deep pull and forced smoke 
out his frozen nostrils. I figured the 
three of them had woken before dawn 
and driven up the cabs. Then the old 
man had hauled the twins around to the 
lifts at Beaver Creek and doubled back 
to wait. 

Tim and Tom sat in the open doors of 
their cabs and pulled off their ski boots. 
Each had a pair of work boots wai 
warm and toasty under the cabs’ heaters. 
‘They laced up their work boots, popped 
the trunks and stuffed their neon jackets 
and ski boots out of sight. 

The first group of tourists would rec- 
ognize the twins, of course. But the sec- 
ond, third and fourth groups wouldn't. 
Each new group that followed the tracks 
would just make that many more tracks. 
And the number of unwitting Swenson 
cab customers would swell exponentially 
until the ski patrol discovered the cutoff 
and blocked it with bamboo poles. 

1 tossed my Olins up onto Tom's cab. 
“Hey, Tom,” I said, “you don't mind a lit- 
Че company, do you?" 

“Nope,” said Tom. 

But it was Tim who clamped a hand 
over my skis. "You're riding with me,” 
he said. “Or you're not riding.” 

“I'd rather ride with Tom, if it's all the 
same to you.” 

“My cab,” said Tim, “or no cab.” He 
locked my skis to his rack. 

Just then, the six tourists skidded 
around the corner. From the looks on 
their faces, they weren't any too happy. 

“My God," said Tim, slapping his fore- 
head. “You guys didn’t cut off the trail 
and follow us, did you?” 

No answer. 

“Damn,” said Tim. “Well, we were 
about to start work anyway. Anybody 
need a cab back to Beaver Creek?" 

There was nothing for miles but emp- 
ty woods. 

‘The Swensons were decent about it, 
though. They clamped on the tourists’ 
skis for them and gave them advice on 
the best runs and the best places to eat. 
Having swindled them in the first place, 
they now buttered them up for tips. 

I sat up front with Tim, with two 
tourists in the back. He kept up a cheer- 
ful patter as we crawled down the twist- 
ing road. When we hit the highway he 
tuned the radio to easy listening and 


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137 


PLAYBOY 


cranked up the volume. Like most locals, 
Tim believed that tourists gave bigger 
tips under the mind-numbing influence 
of easy listening. The radio blared the 
theme song from Flashdance. One of the 
tourists hummed along. 

“So, Jase,” said Tim. "What's ир?” 

“Not much. You know, the usual.” 

“No, no,” he said. “What are you try- 
ing to pull on my brother? What's with 
all this art stuff?” 

“Nothing,” I said. “I just think he's got 
a lot of hidden talent.” 

Tim flicked on the turn signal for the 
exit to Avon and Beaver Creek. “I’m a 
scammer, Jase,” he said. “You know that. 
I make 'em up and I make 'em happen. 
And I can smell 'em a mile off.” 

“There’s nothing,” I said. 

Tim made the turn and looped back 
under the interstate. “There better not 
be. I’m watching you, Jase. I got my eye 
on you.” 

We crossed the bridge over the Eagle 
River and began our climb to the lifts. 

Later that afternoon I rode the bus to 
the Vail library, checked out three coffee- 
table books with glossy photographs of 
twisted metal sculptures and took them 
back to work. I saw Tom twice over the 
next four days, but both times he was 
with Tim. So I just said hi and went on 
my way. 

Wednesday night I met Fritz, Manny 
and Wally down at the Hole in the Wall. 
We held our meetings on Wednesdays 
and raced on Friday afternoons. 

“So,” said Wally, "is Molly going to 
race?” 

“Probably,” I said. I figured with the 
season ending they'd have a few weeks 
to get over my lic. And if we didn't get 
Molly, there wasn't anyone else who'd 
make a difference. 

“Really?” said Fritz. 

Just then Molly breezed in the door. 
Fritz opened his mouth, but before he 
could speak I grabbed his arm and 
spoke low. “She just doesn't know it yet.” 

“Shit,” said Wally. “Come Friday we 
won't have anybody at all.” 

“DQed before we even start,” said 
Fritz. 

“Look,” I said. "I've got it under con- 
trol OK? It’s almost in the bag.” I 
shoved back my chair and headed across 
the room. 

Molly took her usual seat at the corner 
of the bar, her back to the pool table. She 
shucked off her sheepskin coat, tossed 
back her hair and unzipped the top of 
her blue synthetic-fleece pullover. 

“God, it’s hot in here,” she said to the 
bartender. 

“That's the way they like it,” he said. 
Like most bartenders, he had long since 
resigned himself to the way things were. 

I slid onto an empty stool. “Double 
whiskey for the lady, draft for me.” 

“Thanks,” said Molly. She smiled the 
way she'd smile at any other sucker who 


138 bought her a drink. 


We chatted about how warm it was 
getting, the slush in the Back Bowls, the 
softening moguls on Birds of Prey. I 
asked her what she was going to do after 
the lifts closed. She said she was thinking 
about going down to Argentina for the 
summer, maybe climb, maybe teach ski- 
ing at Las Lenas. Maybe even pick up an 
Italian accent for her Spanish. 

“Cómo te va, ché?” she asked, marking 
the words like an Argentine, Her laugh- 
ter was smooth, unself-conscious. 

“How about you?” she said. 

“Probably work through mud season. 
Maybe take a week off and go down to 
Vegas with Manny Trevi 

“Sure,” said Molly, “but what're you 
going to do long-term?” She had a 
breathtaking way of cutting straight to 
the personal. “You don't belong here 
anymore, Jase. You've got a good educa- 
tion—Colorado College, the Harvard of 
the Rockies. So what're you going to do 
with yourself?” 

Some people are practically born with 
deep callings. They fall out of a tree at 
six and decide right then and there that 
they want to be a doctor. Or they get 
elected president of their first-grade 
class and hang their hat on becoming a 
lawyer. But me, ГА never really had any 
deep desire to become anything in par- 
ticular. And yet, at the same time, I've al- 
ways had the feeling that there was 
something important out there waiting 
just for me, a custom semi cruising the 
highways of life with my name for a 
hood ornament. And someday, if I wait- 
ed long enough, it would come hurtling 
down on me, blasting its air horn, and 
crunch to a stop. 

“Don’t know, I 
about you?” 

“I don't know, either. I was always so 
caught up in the things I was doing— 
climbing and skiing and camping—that 
I never really thought about it. I mean, 
when you're 200 feet up a granite face, 
and you look down between your feet 
and see that it’s a clean drop, you don't 
really worry about next year. That mo- 
ment's the only thing that matters. And 
I'm not knocking it. But sometimes I 
wonder about the rest. What'll I do 
when I'm 60? Do I even want to be 602” 

“I know what you mean.” 

She laughed again, easy. “Must be a 
sign of old age.” 

“What about Tom?” 

“What do you mean, ‘What about 
Tom?” 

“You know,” I said. “What’s he going 
to do, drive cabs all his life? Tim’s smart, 
he'll always find something. But as for 
Тот... I just don't know.” 

"And what business is that of yours?" 

"None. 1 just worry about the 
big guy." 

"No, you don't. Give me a break, Jase. 
You'd burn him in a minute if it got you 
somewhere." 


admitted. "How 


“Molly, Molly. . .." 

"Don't Molly me,” she said, standing. 
“And I'm not going to ski for your lame 
little team, either.” 

1 reached for her sheepskin coat, but 
she snatched it away. “I can help myself,” 
she said, and stormed out. 


When I got off work the next morn- 
ing, I grabbed my skis and headed for 
the lift. I was doomed anyway, so I 
figured I might as well get in a few runs 
and try not to think about tomorrow's 
race. The detached quad had a line 
backed up, so I trudged around the end 
of the base lodge and headed for the 
triple chair. The triple took cross-coun- 
try skiers up to their mountaintop trails 
and was a good way to beat the crowds. 

1 nearly dropped my Olins. There 
stood Tom about to get on the lift. No 
Tim, no Molly. Just Tom. A stranger 
sidestepped up the hill a few yards be- 
hind him. 

“Hey!” I yelled. “Wait up!" 

Iran up the hill, snapped on my skis 
and skated up beside Tom and the 
stranger just as the chair swung around. 
The chair's front edge clipped me be- 
hind the knees. I sat down hard and the 
three of us were scooped into the air. 
The stranger sat between us, gripping 
the bucking chair. 

Tom reached a big hand under his 
neon parka. “Beer?” he said and held up 
two bottles. 

“Sure.” I reached over the stranger, 
took one and twisted off the cap. We 
clicked bottles in front of the stranger, 
who grimaced in annoyance. Tom 
chugged his. I took a little more ime 
with mine. 

"So," I said, “I've got those books I 
told you about. The ones on art?” 

“Yeah?” Tom scemed only mildly 
interested. 

“Yeah. I've got them at the front desk 
at the Poste Montane. And there are 
some pictures you really gotta se tilt- 
ed my head back for a final swig. 

“Empty?” asked ‘Tom. I nodded. The 
chair rose toward the second lift tow- 
er. Off to the left, at the end of the high- 
est cul-de-sac, squatted Gerald Ford's 
house. His backyard pool was protected 
by a blue vinyl cover. 

“Bet you can't hit Ford’s pool from 


“Yeah?” I said. “Bet what?” 

“I wouldn't do that if меге you,” said 
the stranger. 

“Well, you ain’t me,” said Tom, and let 
fly. His bottle sailed up against the emp- 
ty sky, tumbling end over end like a foot- 
ball. With a distant pop it shattered on 
the concrete pool deck and sent shards 
of brown glass rattling across the taut 
vinyl cover. 

“Damn,” said Tom. 


“Close,” I said. “What do you bet I 
make it?” 

“Secret Service,” said the stranger to 
“Tom. “You're under arrest.” 

Without a moment's hesitation Tom 
slipped а paw behind the agent's back 
and shoved him off the front of the chair. 
"The agent pitched forward into space. 
His boots caught momentarily on the ski 
rest and then his skis snapped off on the 
bottom of the chair. Flailing helplessly, 
he fell through more than three stories 
of empty ай: He hit on his back with a 
muffled whoompf, punching a crater in- 
to the groomed slope. His skis and poles 
stabbed into the snow around him. 

He lay still for a moment or two. Then 
he stumbled to his feet, shaking his fist 
and cursing. 

Afier we quit laughing I realized the 
seriousness of our situation. He would 
ski down to the lift operator and have 
him telephone the ski patrol up top. 
Meanwhile, we were trapped on this lift. 
Which meant we were going to spend at 
least a night in jail. And Tom, who'd had 
other run-ins with the law, might be stay- 
ing a while longer. 

On the other hand, I'd have today and 
tonight to work on Tom. And Molly 
would surely come to visit. 

We crested the last rise. Ahead of us at 
the top of the lift, our welcoming com- 
mittee was strung out across the skyline, 
five or six ski patrolmen and a couple of 
instructors. The lift operator leaned his 
head out the window of his hut and 
slowed our chair to a crawl. Three more 
ski patrolmen hurried out of the warm- 
ing shack. 

Far below us a narrow gash ran be- 
tween the trees. It had been cut years be- 
fore to clear room for the lift towers. But 
it was far too steep and rocky to be used 
asa ski run. 

“Hold on to the chair" said Tom. I 
grabbed the side rail and before I knew 
what he was doing, he bailed out. He 
seemed to fall forever, his skis floating. 
below him, his jacket puffed with wind, 
his body spread-eagle as he rotated 
through a slow half twist. He hit on his 
skis on the 50-degree slope, his upper 
body slamming backward as he disap- 
peared in a cloud of powder. A split sec- 
ond later he rocketed out of the cloud, 
still struggling to pull himself forward 
onto his skis. He dinged one rock and 
then another as he used raw strength to 
lever himself forward. Then, just as he 
regained his balance, he sailed off a 15- 
foot cliff. He landed, tips raised, and 
slalomed out of sight. 

My pitching chair lurched forward at 
full speed, pinning me back in my seat. 
One rat had escaped the trap. They 
weren't about to lose the other. 

Five ski patrolmen escorted me down 
to the base lodge, where the snarling 
Secret Service agent identified me. An 


Eagle County deputy snapped on the 
handcuffs. 
. 


“Just tell me who you were with,” said 
Mark, “and you're out of here.” They'd 
pulled in deputy Mark Cluff because 
we'd gone to high school together. They 
figured that would make it easier. 

“I already know it was one of the 
Swenson twins,” said Mark. 

I sat on the edge of my bunk, silent. 

“Tim or Tom?” 

Nothing. 

“Which one?” 

Still nothing. 

“Coffee?” 

“Cream,” I said, “no sugar.” 

He left to make the coffee, more for 
himself than for me. They'd taken away 
my watch along with my belt, pock- 
etknife, billfold and shoelaces, but I 
knew I'd been there awhile. This was my 
second shift of questioners. 

Another deputy let Mark back into my 
cell. Mark handed me a cup of instant 
with a light-yellow dusting of artificial 
creamer. 

"You're in a heap of trouble,” he said 
“Conspiracy. Aiding and abetting. As- 
sault ona federal officer.” 

“Attempted vandalism." said the other 
deputy, “on the president’s pool.” 

I spoke slowly, enunciating the words 
to help them understand. “I didn’t do 
anything.” 

“Big trouble,” said Mark. “Federal 


trouble. You want to reconsider and call 
a lawyer?" 

1 shook my head. 

"Then do you waive right to counsel 
and agree to talk of your own free will?” 

І shook my head again. 

“Look,” said Mark, “I know how it is. 
You don't want to rat ona friend. Right? 
So here’s what we'll do. You just nod 
your head. Was it Tim?” 

Istared straight ahead. 

“Was it Tom?” 

T didn’t even blink. 

“Did he have crooked teeth?” 

I shrugged. 

“Come on, Jase,” he said. “Don’t make 
me put you on a lie detector.” 

“Come on, yourself” 1 said. “Eagle 
County doesn't have a lie detector. And 
even if it did, everybody knows they're 
not admissible in court.” 

“Is that so, Mr. Smarty-pants?” said 
Mark. “Well, we'll just see about that.” 

Mark questioned me most of the 
night. At dawn he turned me over to the 
third shift. But 1 could tell their hearts 
weren't in it. After all, if I wouldn't talk 
to a classmate from Battle Mountain 
High, who would 1 talk to? Funny thing 
was, I didn't know myself why I didn't 
just tell them Tom had done it. Sure, it 
was the ex-president's pool and, sure, it 
was a federal agent. But there wasn't any 
real harm done. What would they give 
him, a couple of months? 

Finally, they left me alone. The rough 
wool of the cot’s Army surplus blanket 


LOA, 


BECARTNENT 


“What I have in mind is a boat.” 


139 


PLAYBOY 


was riddled with black-edged holes from 
old cigarette burns. I crawled under the 
blanket, shoes and all, and fell asleep. 


Keys rattled in the lock. I pried open 
my eyes to a painful squint. 

“Visitor,” said the day-shift deputy. 

Molly stood at the door, her blonde 
hair cascading over a new teal racing 
jacket. She carried a pan covered with 
aluminum foil. “Hey,” she said. “I 
brought you some lunch.” 

“Hey yourself.” 1 thought for a mo- 
ment about how I must look, unshaven 
and smelly, my hair sticking up like a 
mangy porcupine. But then, it didn't re- 
ally matter anymore. “Thanks. 

The guard locked us in. 

She walked over to the cot, the cuffs of 
her black ski pants swishing together. 
She sat down beside me and handed me 
the pan and a spoon. I tore off the alu- 
minum foil and a steam cloud of spices 
rose up and scalded my face, The pan 
was full of thick brown sauce, slabs of 
dark meat and chunks of carrots and 
potatoes. I ate halfway to the bottom be- 
fore I came up for air. 

“Tasty,” I said. “What is it?” 

“Moose stew. Dad was driving down 
the interstate last night when he saw one 
of those hazardous-waste trucks from 
Denver flatten a moose. So he circled 
back and beat the game warden to the 
Steaks." 

Just to be scenic, the government had 
built Interstate 70 right alongside thc 
Eagle River. Unfortunately, this meant 
that every animal on the wrong side of 
the interstate had to cross the road to get 
a drink. Several hundred game animals 
later, the government had added a spe- 
cial moose underpass. But somehow, 
they'd never quite figured out how to 
teach the moose to use it. 

“It's great," I said. 

“Listen.” Molly lowered her voice. 
“You haven't told them anything, have 
you?” 

“Море” 

“Swear to God?” 

“Swear to God.” 

“Cross your heart and hope not to be 
castrated?” 

“That, too,” I said. 

“You're not just hiding in here, safe 
from us Swensons, while you wait to tes- 
tify against my brother?” 

“absolutely not.” 

Molly sat there looking at me for 
along moment, as cold as a winter trout. 
“You know,” she said finally “I be- 
lieve you.” 

“Thanks.” 

“Pm going to bail you out. And if you 
aren't lying, you'll be more than happy 
to walk out of here with me.” 

Ten minutes later the day crew gave 
me back my shoelaces, belt, pocketknife, 


140 billfold and watch. They warned me not 


to leave the county and turned me over 
to Molly. 

She'd parked the family pickup out 
front. I hopped in the passenger side, 
still clutching the pan of stew, and Molly 
fired up the engine. She didn’t talk again 
until we'd turned onto the highway, 
headed up-valley. 

“You may not have known it, Jase, but 
they pulled in both the twins for dump- 
ing that Secret Service agent. They 
showed him a lineup. And he picked 
out Tom.” 

“Yeah? Then how come I just spent all 
night being questioned?” 

“Because,” she said with a smile, “they 
showed him a couple more lineups. And 
this time he picked out Tim. He thought 
he'd picked out the same man both 
times.” 

Thats when it hit me. “He didn't 
know there were two of them.” 

“Nope,” she said. “And unless he 
could identify just one of the twins, they 
had to let both of them go. That is, just 
so long as you didn't spill your guts.” 

“Which I didn’t.” 

She leaned over and gave me a peck 
on the cheek. “That's why my skis are in 
back. Just this once I'm going to race.” 

I sat in dazed silence as we rattled up 
the hill toward Beaver Creek. 

“God,” she said under her breath. She 
spat out the words. “Welcome Wagon. 
Who would've believed it?” 


Fritz, Manny and I waited at the bot- 
tom of the course. The air seemed sud- 
denly crisper, and the red and blue of 
the gates stood out sharply against the 
snow. We had ourselves a woman. 

Once again we'd been paired with the 
Exploding Hamsters. So far, they were 
two seconds ahead in total time. But they 
hung their heads, sullen. They'd seen 
Molly at the top of the course. Susi Fal- 
lows was fast, no question about it. But 
Molly was in a class all her own. 

“Racing fourth,” rasped the loud- 
speaker, “are Danny Johnson for the 
Exploding Hamsters . . . and Wally Rat- 
cliff for Welcome Wagon.” 

For the first time ever we were skiing 
under our real names. Manny had even 
persuaded Wally, afier a wedgie or two, 
to race on a normal pair of skis. In the 
lift line Wally had shuffled around on his 
borrowed 207s. “They're too short,” 
he'd said, but Manny had stared him to 
silence. 

We looked up the course. 

“Come on, Wally,” I said. “Just finish.” 

"Umm," added Manny. 

The Hamster whooshed into sight. He 
rounded the corner and ripped past the 
top gate, his inside shoulder thrust styl- 
ishly forward. A dozen yards behind him 
Wally skidded into view. His skis rasped 
across the iced ruts like chalk shudder- 
ing across a blackboard. Wally ran three 


gates without any problems but clipped 
the fourth one. His weight shifted to his 
inside ski, his outside leg waved helpless- 
ly in the air. He twisted his body, arms 
spread wide. Inch by inch he forced his 
ski back down to the snow. 

He brushed by the last gate and 
tucked the finish. 

“Time?” he asked, gasping. 

“We're four seconds down,” said Fritz. 
He'd raced first and kept track of the to- 
tals. “Molly has to beat Susi by at least 
four seconds. 

“Easy,” 1 said. 

“Remember,” warned Fritz, “she hasn't 
raced in three or four years.” But he was 
grinning like the rest of us. I did a hap- 
py sideways shuffle. Molly mania was set- 
ting in. 

Down the hill from us the Hamsters 
huddled in silence. No exercise-wheel 
high fives. No microwave squeaks. 

“Racing fifth,” boomed the speaker, 
“are Susi Fallows for the Exploding 
Hamsters . . . and Molly Swenson for 
Welcome Wagon.” 

There was a crackling pause. 

“And... . they're off! 

Icraned my neck, staring up the slope 
toward where they would appear. Every- 
one else did the same. The wind died. 
An eerie silence fell over the slope. No 
skiers came down the other runs, no 
birds flew, no tree branches creaked. 
The finish banner hung slack. 

Molly appeared in a flash of teal, flow- 
ing effortlessly around the gates. There 
were no telltale roosters behind her skis, 
no skritch of steel on ice. She merged 
with the ruts, and they in turn accelerat- 
cd her through the curves. I had never 
seen anyone carry that much speed 
down a course. 

We stood gaping, too stunned even to 
cheer. And that was when it happened. 
One moment she was charging a gate 
and the next moment she caught an 
edge and smashed face first into the 
snow. One ski popped high into the air, 
came down on its side and slithered to- 
ward the woods. Her goggles and hat re- 
mained behind as she tumbled and slid, 
trying to brake herself with her remain- 
ing ski. She slid past the next gate—on 
the wrong side. 

Susi Fallows rounded the corner, 
skiing with good technique. The Ham- 
sters burst into their microwave cheer. 
“Squueeaakk!” They turned to do their 
exercise-wheel high fives. 

Then they froze. 

Molly had scrambled onto one ski and 
was half leaping, half sidestepping back 
up to the gate. Susi passed Molly at full 
speed. A fraction of a second later, Molly 
rounded the gate on the correct side. 

Susi had a lead of at least ten yards. 
But Molly skied with her left foot and 
sprinted with her right, like a child rid- 
ing a scooter. As soon as she regained 
speed, she lifted her right leg in front of 
her and raced on her left alone. She 


LEE 


= X 


"jen: 


“Be careful, someone will see'—that's all you ever 
say— Be careful, someone will see.” 


reful, someone will 


PLAYBOY 


142 


swooped through each turn, taking one 
normally and the next balanced precari- 
ously on her outside edge, her left thigh 
bulging with the strain. But most incred- 
ible ofall, she was gaining on Susi. 

On the inside of the second-to-last 
turn, Molly whipped past Susi. She 
slammed through the final gate with her 
shoulder, uprooting it entirely, and then 
tucked until she was practically sitting on 
her left ski, her right leg stretched in 
front of her. She flashed across the 
finish, breaking the beam with the toe of 
her extended boot. She had beaten Susi 
by an entire gate. 

We whooped like madmen, all of us, 
the Hamsters and Welcome Wagon both. 
Molly skidded into our midst, blood 
trickling down her face where her gog- 
gles had cut her. The four of us crowded 
around in a group hug. Seconds later, 
the Hamsters piled in as well. 


"I'm sorry, Jase,” said Molly, and she 
began to cry. 

She had beaten Susi by a full two and 
a half seconds. Not enough for us to win. 


After we'd showered and dressed, 
team Welcome Wagon gathered at the 
Hole in the Wall for an end-of-the-sea- 
son drink. We began with a toast to Mol- 
ly. Two hours later the table was littered 
with empty pitchers, Fritz waved a hand 
in the air, “Nother pitcher.” The bar- 
maid tried to sneak back two of the emp- 
ties, but Manny and Wally hung on to 
them. “Don't take our pitchers,” said 
Fritz. “Bring us another one.” 

Molly nursed a double whiskey neat, 
with ice on the side. She absentmindedly 
rubbed one of the ice cubes against her 
lower lip, stitched across the middle 
where her ski had hit her. A line of but- 


“She’s very loyal to the firm.” 


terfly bandages held together the cut 
along the outside of her eye. 

"I'm sorry, Jase,” she said. 

“Don't be sorry,” I said once again. 
“You were great.” 

“Kee-rist,” said Fritz. 

“I really am going down to Argentina 
this summer,” said Molly. Her fingers 
touched mine beneath the table. “You 
want to come?” 

And suddenly, there it was, that cus- 
tom semi on the road of life, bigger and 
blacker than I'd ever dreamed. I knew I 
couldn't afford her and I didn't even 
know how long I could keep up with her. 
It might be only a matter of weeks before 
we ran through my savings and broke 
half the bones in my body. But there it 
stood, idling impatiently by the side of 
the road, with my name spelled out 
across the hood in huge chrome letters. 
And it seemed to be asking me one single 
question: Was I going to climb in and 
ride, or had I just been tanning my 
thumbs all these years? 

I grasped her fingers beneath the 
table and squeezed. 

A heavy paw slammed down on my 
left shoulder. Was that it? I thought. Was 
that all there was before I died? 

“Jase,” said Tom. 

"Tom," 1 answered. But I didn't let go 
of Molly's hand. 

“You know,” he said, “while you were 
in jail, 1 looked at some pictures in those 
books of yours. I can do stuff like that.” 

“Not now, Tom," said Molly. 

Tom huffed off into the snow, slam- 
ming the door behind him. 

I stared into her eyes, as deep and 
clear and blue as any high mountain 
lake, and saw only my own reflection. 
The acid rain had dissolved the bones of 
those who'd gone before. 

From outside there came a groan of 
bending metal. “Jesus,” said Fritz. He 
jumped to his feet and stared cut the 
window. "He's wrapped ту Sleds 
around my bumper." 

Tom reappeared in the doorway. 
“Jase,” he said, cheerful once again. “I 
forget. Which skis are yours?” 

“The green Olins,” snarled Fritz. 

1 closed my eyes then and kissed Mol- 
ly full on her swollen lips. The rough 
black threads of her stitches caught on 
my lower lip fora moment, and then her 
warm mouth closed over mine, softer 
than I could ever have imagined. From 
outside there came a flat crack like a 
rifle shot. Still kissing Molly, my eyes 
squeezed shut against the world, I 
watched in my mind as my Olins 
snapped into splintered wood and twist- 
ed steel. 

"I'm sorry,” said Molly. 

“Don't be,” I answered and kissed her 
again. “Just buy me a new pair when we 
get to Argentina.” 


fll | 1) (continued from page 122) 


“There were those who reacted to the coverage as 1 


picture windows had been installed in a whorehouse.” 


buy the shotguns. Fear and confusion, 
he says: They originally tried to buy 
handguns ata local Big Five sports store. 
After they had looked at several tols, 
the derk told them there was a two-week 
waiting period on handgun purchases. 
And because they were sure their father 
was going to kill them that weekend, and 
because they just sort of found them- 
selves in San Diego as they drove, they 
went ahead and bought the shotguns 
there, using a driver's license they'd 
copped from a friend because, well, nei- 
ther had a valid California license. 

Erik's D.A.—one of two prosecutors in 
the case, which also has two juries and 
two defense attorneys; each brother gets 
his own—asks for details about the pis- 
tols they looked at. Erik doesn't remem- 
ber much about them, he says. The D.A. 
presses, then springs his trap. 

“Mr. Menendez,” asks the D.A., “did 
‘ou know that Big Five stopped carrying 
andguns in March 1986?” This was 

three years before Erik claimed to have 
shopped for them at the store. 

A small moment, perhaps, but after 


waiting for more than two months for a 
clear and damaging ripple in the broth- 
ers’ story, 1 felt like I had seen the Loch 
Ness monster up and eat a boat. My 
excitement was shared by the CTV an- 
chor, courthouse correspondent and stu- 
dio analyst, all of whom began to refer to 
the exchange as a Perry Mason moment. 


Fictionalized courtroom drama be- 
came a popular television format with 
shows such as The Verdict Is Yours and 
Divorce Court, both of which used ac- 
tors to simulate real trials. More recently, 
The Peoples Court took a step toward 
realism by installing a dyspeptic retired 
Los Angeles superior court judge named 
Joseph Wapner to adjudicate actual 
small-claims disputes brought by people 
who had originally filed them in Califor- 
nia courts. Dog bites, women whose hair 
was fried at the beauty parlor and un- 
paid personal loans predominated. Each 
case took about ten minutes, and if 
things threatened to run long, Wapner, 


who was judge and jury, jumped down 
the litigants’ throats with a lecture on 
manners, grammar, morals or the law, 
then gaveled out his decision. During its 
12 first-run years on the air, the show 
was wildly successful. It is, in some ways, 
the spiritual precursor to CTV. 

According to Brill, the inspiration for 
his channel came as he rode in a New 
York taxi listening to a radio update on 
the trial of Joel Steinberg, who was ac- 
cused of beating his adopted daughter 
to death. Brill's interest in the trial, and 
his frustration with media sound bites, 
gave him the idea for a TV network 
that would be to the court system what 
C-Span is to Congress. 

Early reviews of CTV were generally 
good. Most critics liked the strong jour- 
nalistic approach of the anchors and cor- 
respondents, the way that the coverage 
walked the line between straightfor- 
wardness and sensationalism. In the 
Smith wial, the accuser’s name was with- 
held and her face obscured to protect 
her identity. The jury was not pho- 
tographed and profane language was 
bleeped out. 

There were, however, those who react- 
ed to the coverage as if picture windows 
had been installed in a whorehouse. 

“I must tell you I'm worried about it,” 
said President George Bush of the Smith 
trial. "I'm worried about so much filth 
and indecent material coming through 


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PLAYBOY 


144 


the airwaves and through these trials in- 
to people's homes.” 

Bush's point hit home a few weeks lat- 
er, while I was having dinner with the 
11-year-old daughter of a friend, who 
told me proudly, “I learned the word 
ejaculate from the Smith trial.” 

I was about to learn a new word from 
CTV: paraphilia. It means sexually per- 
verted behavior, and I heard it for the 
first time as I watched lawyers fussing 
over psychological minutiae in the sanity 
hearing of Jeffrey Dahmer, a man who 
had confessed to 17 murders. Day after 
day, I watched as photos of his savagery 
were entered as evidence, as lawyers 
asked and argued what were, for them, 
crucial questions. Did he drill holes in 
his victims’ skulls before or after he 
killed them? Did the triple bagging of 
the bones indicate mental disease, or was 
ita sign that he was aware, responsible 
and sane? 

And what about me? Glued to this 
horror show, extending my vocabulary 
unto nausea. And what about George 
Bush, if he and Barbara were to tune in 
accidentally for the reading of Dahmer’s 


cookbook? 
e 


One of the prosecutors in the Menen- 
dez case is referring 10 the wanscript, 
around page 14,000. I imagine the un- 
seen jurors slumped in their chairs, sigh- 
ing, fighting the urge to slcep or to run 


screaming from the courthouse. They 
have been here for 12 or 13 weeks, and 
unlike those of us on the CTV jury, they 
cannot get up to stretch or have coffee, 
nor can they shout obscenities when the 
attorneys ask the same question and get 
the same answer for the 77th time. If I 
were in the box with them it's likely 1 
would have committed a murder of my 
own, perpetrated against one of the 
lawyers; or maybe given the term hung 
jury a whole new meaning by nailing my 
belt to the wall and hanging myself. 

“Actually,” says the CTV commentator, 
“studies have shown that many jurors 
pass the time in sexual fantasies.” 

“Do you think it helps the defense 
when a trial goes this long?” asks the 
CTV anchor. 

"Its а lot harder to send someone 
to the gas chamber when you've looked 
at them for three months,” says the 


commentator. 
. 


My favorite expert analyst in this trial 
so far has been Gerry Spence, a defense 
lawyer from Wyoming who looks and 
sounds like a cross between Clarence 
Darrow and Buffalo Bill Cody. Wearing 
a Western-style jacket, he sat in for an 
afternoon while a D.A. named Pamela 
Bozanich cross-examined Erik Menen- 
dez. Spence, the spirited old war-horse, 
didn’t like what he saw. Young lawyers 
have no style, he said. Law schools were 


ей" 


“I wouldn't be in this trouble, your Honor, 
if only I had some of your intelligence, vision, 
wisdom and dedication.” 


breeding it out of them, turning them 
into dry, plodding technicians. “The mu- 
sic, the sound that carries the emotional 
content, isn't there,” he said, using his 
big, mellifluous voice to demonstrate 
what he meant. 

When the discussion turned to the 
Menendez brothers’ case, he told an 
anecdote about a sheriff he had defend- 
ed who had shot a man between the 
eyes. Asked why he had done it, the law- 
man gave Spence an answer that went 
to the heart of the brothers’ defense. 
“There are just some folks,” said the 
sheriff, “who need killing.” 

Spence believed, as have all the com- 
mentators (including F. Lee Bailey) that 
such a defense was going to be difficult 
to mount in this case. Not in regard to 
Jose Menendez—described by one wit- 
ness as a man so mean he once made a 
BMW salesman cry—but in regard to 
Kitty, their mother. Her killing looks like 
an attempt to eliminate a witness and to 
guarantee inheritance. 


Ifthe Menendez brothers did kill their 
parents for money, it’s working, at least 
as far as their legal bills are concerned. 
Gossip has it that they have, with the co- 
operation of surviving relatives, spent 
several million dollars assembling the 
best defense money can buy. 

And here comes Erik's attorney to 
prove that it ie money well spent by of- 
fering evidence that Big Five was 
selling pellet pistols at the time Erik 
claims to have shopped there, and that 
his ignorance of firearms led him to be- 
lieve that they were real guns. 

Whether you believe that or not, it's a 
dever stroke, from one of the cleverest 
players the game is likely to see. Her 
name is Leslie Abramson: Brooklyn- 
born, with wild blonde hair. Sharp, pug- 
nacious and tough, she is defending Erik 
with the explosive spirit of a 90-pound 
woman lifting a one-ton automobile offa 
trapped child. Her record in murder tri- 
als is strong, and there are signs that 
even with this unlikely defense, it may 
become even better. The brothers are re- 
ceiving 30 to 50 letters a day in jail from 
CFV viewers, most of whom believe 
their story, bleed for them and pray for 
their acquittal. T-shirts that say FREE THE 
MENENDEZ BROTHERS have appeared on 
the campus of American University in 
Washington, D.C. 

During the CTV segments that invite 
viewers to call in questions and com- 
ments, the vote is split between guilty 
and not guilty. If anything like that is go- 
ing on in the minds of the jurors, these 
boys will once again be out in their Ar- 
mani suits, buying Porsches and Rolex 
watches. 

Most of the callers begin with such 
comments as "I can't stop watching," "I 
should be working," “I'm a Court TV 


junkie,” “It’s better than a soap opera,” 
“Everybody I know is watching this.” 

In fact, the viewership of the Menen- 
dez trial on CTV has been wide enough 
to justify the worry, expressed by some 
carly critics, that televised trial coverage 
would somehow change the process by 
expanding the gallery to the millions. It 
was a CTV viewer, after all, who called 
the Menendez prosecutors to tell them 
that Big Five had stopped selling hand- 
guns three years before the brothers 
claimed to have looked at them in the 
Santa Monica store. There is also the 
worry that prospective witnesses, who 
would otherwise be barred from the 
courtroom before their testimony, are 
watching the proceedings on CTV and, 
consciously or unconsciously, tailoring 
their testimony to fit. 

There is no doubt that lawyers and de- 
fendants are using CTV like game films 
to hone their cases. During the trial of 
two men convicted of beating Reginald 
Denny during the Los Angeles riots, 
which CTV broadcast in tandem with 
the Menendez trial, one of the commen- 
tators expressed confusion and doubt 
about the defense strategy. At the next 
break in the action, Edi Faal, one of the 
defense attorneys, asked for and got an 
interview in which he explained to 
the CTV correspondent on the scene 
why his defense strategy made perfect 


legal sense. 
. 


Terry Moran is СТУ” courthouse re- 
porter at the Menendez trial. He stands 
on the courthouse plaza several times a 
day to relate trial progress and court- 
house gossip and to report on the reac- 
tions of the unseen jurors. When he be- 
gan his stand-ups, it was summer in Los 
Angeles, and the people strolling past 
were in shorts. Now, as he speculates on 
whether Judge Stanley Weisberg will al- 
low an incriminating tape recording to 
be played for the jurors, autumn leaves 
are falling behind him and autumn fires 
are raging in the hills surrounding Los 
Angeles. 

Moran isa smooth-spoken 34-year-old 
who for five years was a reporter for the 
Legal Times, a Washington, D.C. maga- 
zine also owned by Steven Brill. Moran 
has the kind of good looks that could 
have sailed him into the movies if he 
hadn' fallen into the confluence of show 
business and law that is CTV. In fact, 
over the course of this long, bizarre trial, 
he has attained a kind of matinee-idol 
status: People stop him in airports and 
on the street, and callers to CTV praise 
his command of the details of the case. 

“When you live and breathe and 
dream a case for this long,” he says, “you 


become a sponge.” 
. 


Along with Moran, I, too, have be- 
come a sponge, or, better yet, a mollusk. 


Today the judge is referring to page 
18,004 of the transcript, and I have sat 
transfixed through most of those pages 
with him. 1 have endured the testimony 
of the defense's psychological experts, 
whose hired-gun interpretation of the 
brothers’ traumatic lives makes it sound 
as if Jose and Kitty should be dug up and 
killed again. I have heard the disputed 
tape recording made by their shrink in 
which Erik admits planning the killings, 
then listened as defense experts were re- 
called to muddy those waters. The de- 
fense is talking about putting the broth- 
ers back on the stand for redirect 
examination, which will be followed by 
recross, which will be followed by the 
prosecution's rebuttal, then a surrebut- 
ter by the defense, then maybe some- 
day—perhaps when snow falls on Terry 
Moran in the courthouse plaza—closing 
arguments, deliberations, a verdict. 

I, however, will not be there for it. 
Brill may be right about the beauty of 
this process, but this much exposure is 
giving me hives, not goose bumps. If I 
don't go cold turkey now, 1 may as well 
go ahead and order the Craftmatic ad- 
justable bed that's advertised on CTV 
‘every hour or so and spend eight hours 
a day watching judges, prosecutors and 
defense lawyers chase that old whore 
justice around the courtroom. 

1 think 1 can kick the habit. The truth 
is, I don't care whether the Menendez 
brothers are found guilty or not guilty. It. 
was the story that captured me, not the 
attempt to haggle right and wrong out of 
it. Watching the Menendez brothers suf- 
fer this trial, it is clear that real justice is 
a deeper, more mysterious concept than 
the crude tools of the legal system will 
ever discover. The ultimate punishment 
for killing your mother and father has 
already been delivered on these pathetic 
wretches and will ride with them for the 
rest of their miserable lives whether they 
go free or are duck-walked into the gas 
chamber. (Although, if the latter comes 
to pass, I think we can expect to see ten- 
foot drifts of snow on the Van Nuys 
courthouse plaza.) 

Whatever happens, I've seen enough. 
1 have a life to lead, flesh-and-blood sto- 
ries to chase, crimes of my own to com- 
mit, perhaps. So I will not watch the tri- 
al of the man who supposedly murdered 
the Florida abortion doctor if CTV cov- 
ers it. I will not watch the trial of the 
woman who cut off her husband's penis. 
And the Palm Beach lawyer and his so- 
cialite wife who accuses him of screwing 
his female clients will have to hammer 
out their lurid divorce without me. 

Of course, I may just dip in to catch 
Leslie Abramson blowing fire and ice all 
over the jury in her closing argument. 
That will be something to see. 

Just for an hour or so. 


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PLAYBOY 


146 


LITERARY GOLF 


(continued from page 112) 
(4) ЛМ THOMPSON—PAR 38 


One of the toughest holes in golf, you 
better have a long driver to play it. A big, 
long driver and plenty of muscle. No 
chip shots here. Just double shots— 
straight up. The fairway is dangerous, 
no place for little boys. If you hook to the 
left, better counter with a right to the 
body. If you slice, slice deep and hard. 
Don't bother shouting “fore.” No one 
else will. 


(5) STEPHEN KING—PAR 4 


The ground has a tendency to bleed 
when you put in your tee. And if you 
slice your ball into the woods, you had 
better just leave it there. There's a dog- 
leg on the lefi of the fairway, but don’t 
pick itup. It may begin to growl. It's best 
not to spend too much time on the 
green, which sits beyond the Sematary. 
If you miss your second putt, just pick 
up your ball and leave before a hand 
reaches through the grass and grabs it. 
If you don't make par on this hole, 
you might just become a bogeyman. 
Permanently. 


(6) NORMAN MAILER—PAR INTERMINABLE 


The longest hole on this or any other 
course. For many years the LPGA boy- 
cotted it, finding the rough to be too 
rough. Now they just don’t bother play- 
ing it. In fact, this hole is so long and 
convoluted, most people tee off, maybe 
hit an iron and then just pick up their 


ball. But take a good look down the fair- 
way. Even though most players don't 
finish this hole, everyone has an opinion 
about it. 


(7) ANNE TYLER—PAR 5 

A quirky hole, with many twists and 
turns in the fairway. No matter how 
straight your approach, you never seem 
to have a direct line to the pin. This hole 
also causes playcrs to do some odd 
things. You may become completely in- 
decisive about which club to use. Or a 
ball you hook into the woods may fill you 
with a tremendous sense of loss and 
yearning. Watch out for the little mole- 
hills alongside the fairway. On this hole 
they can become mountains. 


(8) JOSEPH HELLER—PAR 22 


You can't finish the course unless you 
finish this hole. But you can’t play this 
hole until you finish the course. For an 
explanation, see the guy in the pro shop. 
His name is Pro Pro. There’s a bunker 
hidden on the left of the fairway in case 
of enemy attack. You also have to be 
careful on the elevated tee for any low- 
flying aircraft. 


(9) JOHN STEINBECK—PAR 5 


A dry, dusty hole. No green, just a 
patch of dirt at the end of a stretch of 
parched earth. No flowers line the fair- 
way. No trees. No shade. It may take you 
all day to play this hole. A long hard day. 
And ifa family comes by, with all из pos- 
sessions strapped to a cart, just let them 
play through. 


pfeil, 


“So, do you gals ever get together as 
a group to just sort of hang out and exchange 
inside bimbo stuff?” 


MALLE BERRY 


(continued from page 125) 


weeks later a guy called me from one of 
the Cincinnati papers to interview me. 
At the end he said, “You know, I've nev- 
er done this before, but I have a really 
good friend who absolutely adores you 
and would love an autographed pi 
ture.” I said, “Who?” And he said, 
“David Justice of the Atlanta Braves.” I 
dropped the phone on the floor. I said, 
“Give him my phone number instead of 
an autograph.” So an hour later David 
called me and we talked for three hours. 
We hit it off like [snaps fingers] that. 


n 


PLAYBOY: Given the relative sexiness of 
baseball players, why did you go after a 
power hitter rather than a relief pitcher? 
BERRY: Pitchers can look just like regular 
guys—short and kind of scrawny. Power 
hitters gencrally have better bodies and 
butts, They're stronger. 


10. 


PLAYBOY: You've been a lustful reference 
in at least one rap song. Is this some- 
thing you support or condone? 

BERRY: | have a real problem with all 
those songs that refer to women as bitch- 
es or in other derogatory terms. I don't 
listen to them, nor do I buy them, nor do 
I encourage others to. People I know say, 
“Well, I don't listen to the words, I like 
the beat.” They don't realize that sub- 
consciously they're hearing the words. 
It’s degrading. As women, we're fighting 
so hard to be viewed in another way. I 
don't like my name associated with it. I 
know they think theyre giving me a 
compliment, but I don't see it that way. 


11. 


PLAYBOY: In 1985 you were Miss Teen All 
American. In 1986 you were first run- 
ner-up for Miss USA. As the veteran 
of many beauty pageants, tell us: 
What makes a bad loser and what makes 
a bad winner? 
BERRY: After the pageant, the bad loser 
will go around bad-mouthing every- 
thing. She'll put down the girl who won: 
“Look at her—she has fake tits! She has 
acne!” Just being obnoxious. She can't 
get over the fact that she lost: “Hello? 
You didn’t win, goodbye, go home now.” 
A bad winner? 1 know this after judg- 
ing pageants: During the interview these 
girls give their perfect pageant answers: 
“Yes, Га like to save the world.” Then af- 
terward at the dinner with the winners, 
these girls turn into total snobs. They've 
already used you and abused you and 
gotten what they wanted out of you—the 
crown. Then they're like monsters. 


LER 


PLAYBOY: How did your more highbrow 
colleagues respond to the news that 
you'd signed on for The Flintstones? 


BERRY: It's amazing how people can be 
so negative. Some people have said to 
me, “The Flintstones? That's a cartoon. I 
thought you wanted to be a serious actor. 
You just did Queen. I mean, Halle!” 

But not everything s going to be Queen 
or Malcolm X. This film was really impor- 
tant to me because to be a black woman 
and to be the object of everybody's de- 
sire in this movie is such a coup. The fact 
that these executives at the studio, who 
are all white males, took the risk to have 
a black woman as this character says a lot 
as to where we're going. No, we don't 
want to be just sex objects or be just 
beautiful. But the level of consciousness 
is being raised, and that's important to 
me. We're starting to be seen a little bit 
differently. 


13. 


PLAYBOY: You haven't shown your reveal- 
ing Flintstones costume to your husband. 
‘To soften the blow, are you going to give 
him an exclusive preview? 

BERRY: No! He'll just see it on premiere 
night, if he can. He worries a lot about 
that kind of thing. ГА cause him a year 
of undue stress if I involved him with it. 
He's read things like, “She hasn't shown 
her husband,” so he’s like, “Well, what is 
" But sometimes the less he knows, the 
better. When it comes out, he'll see it. 
He'll see that it is what it is. 


14. 


PLAYBOY: “It” is? 

BERRY: Very bare. A long fake-fur skirt 
with those jagged edges and a split all 
the way up the side. The top is tight, 
very pushy-uppy. Thin straps, barely 
there. It’s like a bikini. But more than ac- 
tually seeing the costume, it's what 1 do 
in the costume that makes it even worse. 
1 seduce Fred. I slither around, crawl 
over desks and use everything I have to 
get him entranced—which I do pretty 
much throughout the whole movie. He's 
putty in my hands. 


15. 


тілувоү: No matter what film you're in, 
you're always the one who receives the 
kudos. Are your co-stars wary or curious 
about such a record? 

BERRY: Hmm. Did you read my reviews 
for Queen? There were a few that really 
hit me hard. The harshest thing some- 
body said was that I didn’t have the emo- 
tional range or capacity that this charac- 
ter needed. 1 thought, Say a lot of things, 
but I don't think that’s true. I'm the 
most emotional person I know. They 
could have said other things—that 1 was 
stoic or stiff—but not that I don’t have 
the emotional range. 

I've learned not to take it personally. 
But it's hard, I gave my blood, sweat and 
tears for that role. I was working with a 
broken tailbone, in pain. So when some- 
one just uses a stroke of the pen to dis- 


miss what I've worked so hard at, it's 
disheartening. 


16. 


PLAYBOY: Is it easier for a film critic to like 
the work of someone who might actually 
bea nice person in real life? 

BERRY: Yes, that certainly was the case 
with me and Robin Givens in Boomerang. 
People thought I played myself and she 
played herself. Robin has gotten such 
bad press because of what she did to 
Mike Tyson. So many people in the busi- 
ness think she's bitchy. People won't feel 
sympathetic toward her until she starts 
doing nice things in her personal life 
and people start writing about it. The 
image you portray is important. People 
ultimately have to like you to pay seven 
bucks to see you in a film. 


17. 


ылувоу: Every woman of the Nineties 
needs a method of self-defense. Have 
you ever been in a fight? If so, who won? 
berry: Oh, yeah. Not in my adult life, 
since I'm now old enough to know bet- 
ter. Growing up I would get beat up a 
lot. I'm passive. I don't like confronta- 
tion. So sometimes people would pick on 
me because they knew I wouldn't fight 
back. But sometimes Pd stand up for 
myself, and I would end up in a fight. 
And, usually, I would get beat up—but 
only because it would be three or four of 
them and one of me. It made me 


stronger. If I ever fought one-on-one, 
I'd probably kick somebody's ass be- 


cause I'm used to fighting four at a time. 
If I ever got into a fight with Robin 
Givens, I'd probably kill her. [Laughs] 


18. 


PLAYBOY: Let's focus on another of your 
daring adventures in role preparation: 
Before you played an exotic dancer in 
The Last Boy Scout, you paid the owner of 
a club to let you dance in a bikini top and 
G-string. What's the view from the per- 
spective ofa stripper? 

BERRY: It's a bunch of drooling, drunk 
men looking up your underpants. Noth- 
ing against the girls who do it, but it was 
humiliating for me. You're just a thing. 
They're saying things to you. 


19. 


PLAYEOY: What comments did you appre- 
ciate? And what should have been left 
unsaid? 

BERRY: I didnt appreciate any of them— 
until I was walking out and one of the 
guys said to me, “Sweetheart, you don't 
belong here. Get out.” 


20. 


PLAYBOY; As a teenager you worked in 
clothing stores. What life lessons did you 
pick up while behind the cash register? 
BERRY: When I worked in retail, the cus- 
tomer was always right. No matter what 
they do or what they think, the customer 
is always right. They forget that out here 
in Hollywood. 


Pag Arce 85077 


ПІН MANSELL tinue fom page 110) 


“Cars, drivers and engines crashed, cracked and ex- 
ploded. It was Mansell’s kind of day.” 


red lights and drive faster than they 
do when they chase you. “Fast” for 
Mansell, of course, was so normal it nev- 
er occurred to him that night 13 years 
ago in California that the cops’ sirens 
were wailing for him. He pulled over to 
let them by, but he and his wife, 
Rosanne, who'd been on many a wild 
ride with him, were instead offered a 
shotgun barrel aimed through the wind- 
shield and a .38 pointed at their heads 
through the driver’s side. Nigel was 
yanked out of the car, thrown over the 
hood and frisked. He tried to explain 
that he was just an unaware British rac- 
ing driver late for an appearance on the 
Queen Mary, though the only thing he 
had to prove it was a St. Christopher 
medal with his name and blood type on 
it. But the police, beginning to realize 
that these two frightened foreigners 
were more tourist than criminal, began 
to calm down and back off. Mansell got 
them four tickets to the race, and they 
wrote him four tickets but never turned 
them in. In fact, one of them later be- 
came Mansell’s good buddy, visiting him 
at his estate on the Isle of Man. Nigel 
himself went on to become a local town 
constable, patrolling peaceful Port Erin 
when he wasn't off racing. 

‘That was Manscll's first Formula I sea- 
son. Three years and not a lot of success 
later, Mansell again found himself weav- 
ing through traffic on American city 
streets, this time in Detroit. On the first 
corner of the first lap of the Grand Prix 
he went for a gap between Nelson Piquet 
and Alain Prost, and when the gap 
closed there was a monumental wreck. 
He was blamed and fined $6000, a blan- 
ket conviction to which race drivers are 
permanently attached, though he be- 
lieved the crash wasn't his fault. But he 
claimed to be glad he was singled out 
and punished because, he says, "It made 
me realize what I was up against” in the 
cruel, political world of Formula I. 

A week later he found himself up 
against a concrete wall in Dallas, but on- 
ly after he had taken polc position and 
led most of the race and before he 
passed out on the sizzling track while 
pushing his conked-out race car. It was 
the only Formula I race ever run in 
Texas, and the fact that it was held 
Dallas in July had much to do with 
demise. Cars, drivers and engines 
crashed, cracked and exploded on the 
cooked concrete, which broke into 
chunks and formed potholes bigger than 
armadillos. It was Mansell's kind of day. 
Strapped in a cockpit that approached 


148 140 degrees, wearing fire-resistant un- 


derwcar and a triplc-layer, quilted suit, 
he threw his black Lotus around street 
corners for 45 laps. He drove faster and 
harder than the drivers chasing him 
could believe or accept, since he'd never 
won a Grand Prix. Winner Keke Ros- 
berg accused Mansell of driving unpro- 
fessionally by blocking him, and it would 
not be the last of such complaints. 

“I led for the first half of the race, un- 
til my tires turned to rubbish. Toward 
the end I clipped a wall and lost my 
gears,” Mansell recalls. “On the last lap 
the car broke altogether, and I was so an- 
noyed that I got out and tried to force 
the bloody thing to finish by pushing it. 
But my body had other ideas, and I 
blacked out. All I succecded in was mak- 
ing myself feel like I had a hell ofa hang- 
over the next day.” 

But even unconscious, he had earned 
one championship point for sixth place. 
Surely his Lotus team had been im- 
pressed by such effort. “No,” he replies 
with a small laugh. “Most of the people 
in Formula I thought I was a complete 
idiot.” 


That's the difference between the jad- 
ed, coldly pragmatic world of Formula I 
and the American Indycar circuit. Heart 
still matters over here, which is why 
Mansell feels that he's found a home. 
And he staked his claim from the drop of 
the scason's green flag. He took pole po- 
sition and victory in his first race, on a 
street circuit in Australia. Then, practic- 
ing on the tricky, dogleg one-mile oval in 
Phoenix, he officially joined the club 
when he became the second of two types 
of Indycar drivers: those who are going 
to hit the wall, and those who have. The 
flaming, tail-first impact at 180 mph 
punched a gaping hole in the concrete 
and coldcocked Mansell, leaving him in 
the smashed Lola with a concussion and 
lower back injury. 

A month after his first back injury in 
1979, Mansell had risen from his bed 
like Dracula from his coffin at sun- 
down—just as driven and just as hun- 
gry—for his Formula I tryout with Lo- 
tus, Similarly, after the Phoenix crash, he 
had two wecks to stecl himself for the 
next race at Long Beach. Each morning 
the week before the race, a doctor 
drained 100cc of blood from Mansell's 
black-and-blue lower back to reduce the 
swelling, and he had to be lifted in and 
out of his car. But he still put it on the 
pole and finished third in the race after 
enraging reigning Indy 500 champ Al 
Unser, Jr, who smacked the wall trying 
to squeeze past Mansell as they entered a 
turn. “I’ve never scen anybody block me 


as bad as Nigel blocked me,” said Unser, 
suggesting that Mansell would eventual- 
ly get his. Mansell responded that he was 
the world champion, and Unser should 
have known his reputation for aggres- 
sively defending his position. 

Drama and controversy follow Man- 
sell like cops with flashing lights and 
wailing sirens. In Formula I, he was of- 
ten faulted for melodramatic bchavior, 
whining and rash moves on the track. 
Last year he was accused of expecting 
other drivers to move out of his way, 
while insisting on the right to defend 
against a pass. He seemed to broaden 
the definition of “blocking,” and his exe- 
cution was both criticized and copied. 
The issue was addressed by Champi- 
onship Auto Racing Team officials and 
drivers in meetings last year. They even- 
tually ruled that swerving once to pre- 
vent being passed was a legitimate de- 
fense of a position; swerving twice was 
blocking, and it would be penalized. 
Mansell was satisfied. 

After Long Beach, Mansell underwent 
surgery in which two tubes excavated his 
ravaged lower back before it was sealed 
with 100 internal sutures. Doctors could 
have done the job in a manner to reduce 
sensitivity and pain, but that would have 
deadened the scat of his pants, which 
needed to be bursting with feeling for 
the Indy 500. Two wecks after the op- 
eration he showed up late for rookie 
practice at Indianapolis’ Brickyard, the 
mightiest and most daunting oval of all. 
The Indy 500 would be the first oval- 
track race of his career. After driving a 
sensational, intelligent and sometimes 
aggressive race for some 460 miles, he 
was in the lead when a yellow flag came 
out. With no experience as the leader on 
restarts, he didn’t know that the driver 
needs to floor it before reaching the 
starting line—way back between turns 
three and four, in fact. Emerson Fittipal- 
di, who was behind him and driving in 
his tenth Indy 500, knew that trick. 
When the green flag fell at the starting 
line, Fitipaldis momentum blew him 
past Mansell, and Arie Luyendyk was 
dragged along by Fittipaldi’s slipstream. 
Mansell chased Fittipaldi and Luyendyk 
so furiously to the finish that his right 
front wheel once hit the wall at 200 mph, 
shooting a magnesium flame, snapping 
his head and leaving a black stripe on 
the white concrete. “Only one person 
lost that race, and that was me,” said the 
man who's been accused of never taking 
blame for a loss. He congratulated and 
praised Fittipaldi for his second Indy 
500 victory and apologized to his own 
crew for his lapse. 

Mansell showered the Indycar circuit 
with his talent in the races that followed. 
On the tracks where he was expected to 
be vulnerable—the wild one-mile ovals 
dubbed “bullrings” for their head-spin- 
ning action and potential for the drivers 
to get gored—he demonstrated genius 


as he had never before done. 

He drove intense and_near-flawless 
races to win on short ovals in Milwaukee, 
New Hampshire and Nazareth, Pennsyl- 
vania, and he lapped all but his team- 
mate Mario Andretti in winning the 
Marlboro 500 at the fastest oval on the 
circuit, Michigan International Speed- 
way. His oval-track driving was summed 
up by ESPN racing analyst Derck Daly, 
who, in trying to capture Mansell's clec- 
tric moves, exclaimed, “Nobody has told 
Mansell that it's not possible to do that.” 

As Editor-at-Speed of AutoWeek maga- 
zine, Mansell wrote about the breathtak- 
ing New Hampshire race, where on his 
40th birthday he outdrove daring young 
in heavy traffic. He said of 
It was some of the purest rac- 
ing Гуе ever done. You're busy every 
minute on a mile oval. When you come 
toa four-car train, your car turns to junk 
because of the dirty air. The race was one 
of the most exciting and bewildering of 
my life,” he continued. “Exciting be- 
cause it was the most thoroughbred rac- 
ever done—passing, repassing 

in the space of a lap, 
ing two and three abreast through 
the turns and, on one occasion, four 
abreast down the front straightaway. Be- 
wildering because I could not believe the 
moves Paul and Emerson were making 
in traffic, or that I'd be doing the same 
things later.” 

Peter Gibbons. Mansell’s engineer on 
the Kmart-Texaco-Havoline team, has 
worked with Fittipaldi, Michael Andretti 
and Rick Mears, with whom he won the 
Indy 500 in 1991. Says Gibbons, “Before 
Nigel got here, I had heard he was 
difficult to work with, but in fact he’s a 
dream for an engineer. Our chief me- 
chanic, Tom Wurtz, feels the same way. 
Nigel is very demanding; he knows what 
he wants. A lap time Nigel brings you is 
as fast as the car will go, and he's so con- 
sistent that you can cvaluate your chassis 
and acrodynamic changes in tenths of 
seconds. That's an incredible gift. I've 
never seen that in any other driver on a 
road course, and only Rick Mears could 
do it on an oval. That's wl makes 
Nigel’s performance so impressive. You 
could just watch his learning curve dur- 
ing the Indy 500. For the first 100 miles 
he was just finding out what he can do 
with an Indycar, and by the last 100— 
boom—he was passing like he'd been 
doing it for 20 years. When you think 
that he didn't even know how to drive an 
Indycar before this season, you realize 
that he's still scratching the surface.” 


Although Mansell displayed abundant 
ability and a taste for raw speed at an 
early age, he was not a natural. He got 
where he is mostly, as he puts it, by 
“dogged determination and bloody- 
mindedness.” The first time he got his 


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ings below to find the stores 
nearest you. 


STYLE 


Shirt by Bobby Jones, at 
better specialty stores and 
golf pro shops nation- 
wide. Sweater by Polo by 
Ralph Lauren, at Polo 
h Lauren stores na- 
tionwide. Sneakers by 
Reebok. "Lounge Acts": 
Sleepwear by Robert 
Stock. Pants and shirts by 
Calvin Klein, at Blooming- 
dale's nationwide and at 
select Saks Fifth Avenue 


Page 26: “The Leather 
Look”: Lambsuede blazer 
by M. Julian, at Cignal stores nation- 
wide. Suede shirt jacket by Free Country, 
at Club International stores nationwide. 
Lambskin anorak by Andrew Marc, at 
Bloomingdale’s nationwide, Saks Fifth 
Avenue nationwide and Bergdorf Good- 
man Men, 745 Fifth Ave., NYC. Deer- 
skin peacoat by New Republic, at New 
Republic clothier, New York. Buckskin 
jacket by Double RL, at Polo Ralph Lau- 
ren stores nationwide. Leather vest by 
Michael Hoban, available at North Beach 
Leather stores, 772 Madison Ave., NYC; 
Water Tower Place, 835 N. Michigan 
Ave., Chicago; 190 Geary St., San Fran- 
disco and 1365 Columbus Ave., San 
Francis Steer-hide vest hy Schott 
Bros., 800-631-5407. Leather vest by 
Avirex USA, at Bloomingdale's, 1000 
Third Ave., NYC. "Fresh Linen": Suit 
and vest by Alfred Dunhill, at Alfred Dun- 
hill, 450 Park Ave, NYC and Water Tow- 
er Place, 835 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago. 
Silk, rayon and linen suit by Michael 
‘ors, at Saks Fifth Avenue, select stores. 
Linen and cotton shirt by Tommy 
Hilfiger, at major department stores na- 
tionwide. Shirts by Paul Smith, at Paul 
Smith, 108 Fifth Ave., NYC. Pants and 
jacket by Polo by Ralph Lauren, at Polo 
Ralph Lauren stores nationwide. Pants 
by Industria, at specialty stores nation- 
wide. Camp shirt by John Bartlett, a 
able at Bergdorf Goodman Men, 745 
Fifth Ave, NYC. “Hot Shopping: New 
Orleans”: F & F Botanica, 801 N. Broad. 
Ave, 504-482-9142, Circ deVille, 2038 
Magazine SL, 504-523-3631. Boomer- 
ang, 1128 Decatur St, 504-566-7298. 
Louisiana Music Factory, 225 N. Peters, 
504-593-1004. Palm Court Jazz Cafe, 1204 
Decatur St, 504-525-0200. “Clothes 
Line”: Suits: By Alexander Julian, at Ma- 

^s nationwide. By Harve Bernard, at 
fine specialty and department stores na- 
tionwide. By Yves St. Laurent, at select 
Dillrd's stores nationwide. Loafers by 
Bally. for information call 800-825-5030. 


stores. Pajamas and robe 
by Joe Boxer, at Blooming- 


` dale's nationwide. Silk and cashmere 


sweatsuit by TSE Cashmere, at TSE Cash- 
mere stores, South Coast Plaza, 3333 
Bristol St, Suite 2519, Costa Mesa, CA 
and 199 Stamford Shopping Center, Pa- 
lo Alto, CA. 


WIRED 
Page 28: “Bank at Home": Electronic 
banking systems by Mastercard, 800-232- 
8480. “Listen Up": Voice recognition 
devices: By Voice Powered Technology, 800- 
743-2000. By Blaupunkt, 800-950-ntav. 
By Goldstar, 201-816-2000. By Sanyo, 
818-998-7322. "Calorie-Free Vending 
Automated communication distribu- 
tion centers by Sims Communications, 
800-678-3663. “Wild Things": Car au- 
dio components by Pioneer, 800-421- 
1404. Video game system by Atari, 800- 
солтан. Computer software by Chipsoft, 
800-964-1040 ext. 6017. 


CALVIN KLEIN 

Page 102: All Calvin Klein merchandise is 
available at the following stores: Calvin 
Klein Stores: 100 Highland Park Vil- 
lage, Dallas; Chestnut Hill Mall, 1999 
Boylston St., Chestnut Hill, MA; South 
Coast Plaza. 3333 Bristol St., Suite 2206. 
Costa Mesa, CA and 150 Worth Ave 
Palm Beach, FL. Barneys New York п: 
tionwide. 1. Magnin, 135 Stockton SL, 
San Francisco. Bergdorf Goodman Men, 
745 Filth Ave., NYC. Allure, 1509 Wal- 
nut St., Philadelphia. 


ON THE SCENE 

Page 157: “Very Cool in the Shades": 
Sunglasses: By Porsche Design, at Porsche 
Design at the Forum Shops at Caesars, 
Las Vegas; 236 N. Rodeo Dr., Beverly 
Hills and 402 S. Galena St., Aspen, or 
call 800-521-5152. By Dakota Smith, at 
Dakota Smith, 5126 Clareton 
Agoura Hills, CA. By Ray-Ban, for infor- 
mation, 800-343-5594. By Revo, 800- 
843-7386, CA only, 800-367-7386. 


149 


PLAYBOY 


150 


hands on a four-wheeled vehicle—a go- 
cart when he was ten years old—he 
crashed it into a gas pump while trying 
to take a shortcut. The birth of a career. 
Rosanne was with him every step of the 
way. She slept with him and cooked for 
him in freezing vans parked in the pad- 
dock at Formula Ford and Formula ПІ 
races because they couldn't afford hotel 
rooms. She sold her new Mini to buy an 
old Maxi to tow Nigel's race car, and 
then spent hours holding flashlights for 
him in cold, dark garages while he 
changed the truck's clutch plates every 
week. While Nigel worked as an engi- 
neer by day and sold picture frames in 
pubs at night, Rosanne worked 80 or 
more hoursa week demonstrating ovens 
for the West Midlands Gas Co. She 
turned her paychecks over to Nigel so he 
could pursue his conviction. Sometimes 
her pay went to hospitals, as it did the 
time he broke his neck before coming 
back to claim the British Formula Ford 
championship. His performance that 
year brought the offer of a paid ride 
in the same series the next season, but 
he turned it down because it wasn't a 
step up to faster cars. Instead, he and 
Rosanne sold their house and furniture, 
and with £6000 they purchased five 
rides in Formula III races, thinking it 
would lead to backing. “We must have 
been mad,” Mansell says. “We were very 


silly. When the money dried up, the 
team kicked us out and said 1 was a 
wanker of a driver. We lost five years of 
savings in six weeks. We were left with 
nothing—no car, no house, no money.” 

But Mansell still had faith in his ability 
and he still had desire. He also still had 
Rosanne. With those three assets he 
found a job as a janitor. “I washed wi 
dows and Hoovered carpets, working 
three-day shifts. I never averaged fewer 
than 53 hours,” he says. “That gave me 
three days a week to go around the 
country trying to find sponsorship.” 
Four hundred letters produced 60 rejec- 
tions. The rest never replied. 

If the year had been a test of Mansell’s 
determination, he squeaked by—literal- 
ly, working a squeegee on office windows 
at five A.M. on English winter mornings. 
From this dark time came modest offers. 
One was to drive an underpowered For- 
mula ТИ car for £25 a week, for which he 
had to travel all over Britain and hustle 
auto parts. While he was elevating this 
car, and later a Formula II car, to posi- 
tions higher than they deserved, he was 
noticed by Colin Chapman, the wizard 
of Lotus, who had made world champi- 
ons of Jimmy Clark, Graham Hill and 
Fittipaldi. Mansell earned the job as test 
driver for Lotus, and on his first day, in 
his fourth lap on the extremely fast Sil- 
yerstone circuit, he went quicker than 


“OK, one 7 уои run out for а pizza, but hurry 
ack in case 1 get horny.” 


anyone had ever driven a Lotus there— 
including Mario Andretti, who had won 
six races and the world championship 
for Chapman the previous year. 

Recalls Mansell, “When I pulled in the 
pits, there were white faces all around. 1 
thought, What the bloody hell have I 
done now? The manager leaned over 
me and said, 'I suppose you think you're 
bleeping clever, don't you?" 

The manager was kidding, but it set 
the tone for Mansell's Formula I career. 
In his first race the crew spilled gas 
down his back, and he sat in it until his 
engine blew. He had to be hospitalized 
for blisters on his thighs and buttocks. 
His life at Lotus was lovely for two yea: 
but when Chapman died in 1982, 
Mansell's star went with him. The more 
he drove the next ten years, the more 
some people in Formula I thought he 
would never be the world champion 
Chapman predicted—because his driv- 
ing was so unrestrained. The fans lovcd 
him for итоге than his team owners 
and managers and European motor- 
sports journalists, who had their own no- 
tions of how a Grand Prix driver should 
look and act. He was accused of evils 
such as having a turgid Midlands accent 
and the appearance of a vacuum-cleaner 
salesman. "Now they're swallowing hum- 
ble pie,” says Mansell of those who dis- 
missed him, "and they want me back." 

Mansell's body language has some- 
times invited as much ridicule as sympa- 
thy or concern. After his victory in the 
British Grand Prix at Brands Hatch in 
July 1986, still the most memorable mo- 
ment of his career, he took a victory lap 
despite a ban on such celebration—“for 
my fans,” he said, of which there were 
115,000, all of them screaming for 
Mansell. It had been a hot race under re- 
lentless pressure from Nelson Piquet, 
and Mansell’s crew had forgotten to put 
a water bottle in his car. Observed An- 
thony Marsh, a British TV commentator 
and a Mansell admirer, “He was semi- 
conscious during that lap, hanging out 
the car window like a rag doll, and lov- 
ing every second of it.” 

Bad luck has plagued Mansell. When 
a rear tire blew near the end of the final 
race in Australia he was leading the 
championship by six points; he lost by 
two to Alain Prost. The next year he won 
eight pole positions and six races but 
crashed in practice at the next-to-last 
race in Japan and crushed a vertebra, 
ending his season flat on his broken back 
as second-best again, this time to Piquet. 
The Williams team lost its turbocharged 
Honda engines the next year, and 
Mansell chugged to ninth with a turgid 
Judd. Throughout his career he'd dri 
en exclusively for British teams, but in 
1989 he signed with Ferrari, lured by big 
money, big promises and high hopes. 
Mansell didn't find the speed he expect- 
ed from the blood-red machines in Italy, 
but he did find a new cult during his two 


years there: the fervid Italian fans who 
hang from the trees around Monza and 
drop onto the track, dancing in celebra- 
tion, when a Ferrari does well. It was 
those fans who crowned him il leone. 

Alter the 1990 season he announced 
that he was quitting—the joy of driving 
had been lost in the mud of Formula I 
politics and double-dealing. He was of- 
fered a lot of things to change his mind, 
and today, when he's asked which racing 
accomplishment he's most proud of, he 
replies that it was getting all those 
promises in writing before he went back 
to Williams in 1991. In 1992 the Wil- 
liams-Renault was superior, and the cir- 
cuit belonged to Mansell. His nine victo- 
ries put him third on the all-time list 
with 30, behind Alain Prost's 44 and Ayr- 
ton Senna's 36. 

“I could make a list as long as my arm 
of the people in motor racing who will 
never admit they were wrong when they 
said I would never be world champion,” 
he says. Such a list would probably in- 
clude the people he’s fallen out with and 
doesn't think much of today: former Lo- 
tus manager Peter Warr, team owner 
Frank Williams and his designer, Patrick 
Head, and especially drivers Senna, 
quetand Prost, with ten world cham 
onships and more than 100 Grand Prix 
victories among them. All were once 
Mansell's teammates except for Senna, 
whose rigid claim to ownership of any 
spot on the track makes Mansell's seem 
downright mannerly. Senna is the only 
one Mansell has thrown against a wall, 
though he’s come close to strangling the 
mouthy Piquet more than once. 

If Mansell was a misfit in Formula I, 
it’s because he lacks some special skills 
common to Senna, Piquet and Prost. 
“On a scale of one to ten, they're а ten in 
political maneuvering,” he says. "I'm a 
one or a one and a half.” The secret to 
success in any form of motor racing is 
simple—get the fastest car—but execu- 
tion of that rule, especially in Formula I, 
often can involve opportunistic manipu- 
lation. “In Formula I it's considered a 
weakness to be straightforward and ac- 
commodating, which I always tried to 
be,” says Mansell, “You can’t even sit down 
and have a direct conversation. Every- 
thing you're told is a lie. But if you ask 
me а question, you don't have to wonder 
if the answer is true or not. Pm always 
me. What you see is what you get." 


Talking about Mansell, Carl Haas 
chooses his words carefully, as if to avoid 
being quoted. "He's complicated,” says 
Haas. "I think any really first-class driver 
is selfish and demanding. I think that's 
partly necessary. I haven't met any top 
driver who doesn't have periods of being 
difficult. But I think I'm able to under- 
stand and deal with Nigel's needs better 
than the last team he drove for in For- 


mula I. He needs loving care.” 
"It's nice to feel wanted again," says 
Mansell of his new team. "What moti- 
vates me more than anything is the type 
of people around me. Coming to Ameri- 
ca to race Indycars has been like joining 
the club. When I went to Long Beach 
right after the crash in Phoenix, I 
couldn't believe the number of drivers 
who came up to wish me well. And the 
fans have been absolutely wonderful." 
Indeed, a race weekend doesn't pass 
without several fans informing him that 
another baby has just been named Nigel, 
nor without Union Jacks waving from 
the grandstands at the start and finish of 
each race. When he's chauffeured on the 
back of a golf cart from the pits to the 
team's motor coach, fans stream along 
behind with outstretched programs and 
T-shirts for Mansell to sign, shouting 
things like, “Thanks for coming over 
and showing us how to drive, Nigel!” 
‘The only problem with all this atten- 
tion is that it's been hard on the ego of 
his senior but still hungry teammate, 
Mario Andretti. Their relationship has 
come full circle since Andretti was the 
golden boy at Lotus 14 years ago and 
Mansell was the distant and overlooked 
number three. Texaco commercials show 
Mansell and Andretti sharing a laugh, 
but on and off the track, the two are di 
tant. Snapped 54-year-old Andretti, last 
year’s Driver of the Quarter-Century, 
when asked for the umpteenth time 
about the impact of Mansell’s arrival: 
“Гуе accomplished a hell of a lot more 
than he has, so what am J worried about?” 
Meanwhile, Mansell ended his season 
on the sidelines, after coming together 
with rookie Mark Smith while lapping 
him in the final race on the Laguna Seca 
circuit in Monterey, California. Earlier in 
the race he had knocked the rear wing 
off the car of another rookie, Scott 
Sharp. Mansell wasn't too hard on Sharp 
for not moving over fast enough for him, 
but he angrily accused Smith of chop- 
ping him off. Witnesses, including those 
who watched from Mansell’s own in-car 
camera, saw a picture that was much less 
clear The contact jerked the Lola's 
steering wheel and reinjured Mansell's 
right wrist 
"The next night at the PPG Indycar 
World Series banquet he collected his ac- 
colades and shook left hands. All was for- 
given. A big silver championship trophy 
and $2,5 million will do that. And the 
people who had had their fill of Man- 
sell during the season were now gra- 
cious: He'd won the Indycar World Se- 
ries through hard work, determination, 
courage and an unprecedented display 


standings. “Nigel,” he 
get the hang of these ovals, you should 
make a pretty good Indycar driver.” 


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152 


ADULTERY 


(continued from page 64) 


“One perceplive woman noted, ‘I trade 15 minutes in 
bed for a whole week of feeling wanted." 


usc with negative connotations—these 
affairs fit the bill quite perfectly. 

Cathartic affairs allow a participant to 
vent feelings through the conduct of the 
affair (something psychiatrists call “act- 
ing out”) as well as by having someone to 
talk with about troublesome or unre- 
solved issues that are inadequately rec- 
ognized or dealt with in his or her mar- 
паре. The extramarital partner in a 
cathartic affair often plays a pseudother- 
apist role, whether or not he or she real- 
izes it. Unlike a therapist, however, the 
role of the partner is not meant to be ob- 
jective: The person who is unloading his 
or her gripes and troubles wants a com- 
pletely sympathetic listener, not some- 
one who dispenses advice. 

Intimacy reduction affairs help indi- 
viduals who are conflicted by ambiva- 
lence over the intimacy demanded by 
their spouses. The affair is a buffer 
against too much closeness in a mar- 
riage: Sexual involvement outside mar- 
riage creates a safety zone of emotional 
distance within the marriage. 

Kinky affairs make up only a small 
portion of extramarital relationships, ac- 
counting tor well under one percent of 
such alliances. Here, the partners are 
complementary to, or tolerant of, each 
other's unconventional sexual needs. In 
one case we studied, the male was espe- 


cially aroused by being humiliated or de- 
meaned by a woman. After a consider- 
able amount of searching, in which he 
was repeatedly rejected by women who 
wanted less bizarre behavior from their 
lovers, he managed to find a woman who 
combined his need for being ordered 
around with her own erotic impulses. 
The result was that she found a partner 
who would have sex with her in public 
places—at a baseball stadium during a 
game, in the stacks of a public library or 
under a blanket on a beach, surrounded 
by hundreds of other couples. 

Reactive affairs are triggered by a per- 
son's need to redefine or reassure him- 
self or herself in light of changing life 
circumstances. The male mid-life crisis їз 
a prime example: This is frequently a 
time when men question their vigor and 
attractiveness and attempt to prove their 
youthfulness to themselves by turning to 
younger sexual partners. A similar ex- 
ample, which is also related to changes 
in self-perception, comes when a woman 
whose life has been focused on being a 
mother suddenly confronts the emotion- 
al void created by the empty-nest syn- 
drome, when her children have all lett 
the home. With free time on her hands, 
a lack of focus and a wish to reexamine 
and redefine her life, it is not so unusual 
for the empty-nester to discover her sex- 


“People who read books . 


. . next on ‘Geraldo.’” 


uality and to opt for the excitement and 
rejuvenation ofan emotionally s: 
extramarital relationship. Reactive af 
fairs can also occur at younger ages, as 
with women who find themselves re- 
belling against the role of mommy when 
their children are young. 


WHAT TRIGGERS AFFAIRS? 


There is no question in our minds that 
the greatest difference between men and 
women in the motivation for having af- 
fairs is this: Men tend to seek sexual va- 
riety and excitement, while women look 
for emotional returns. Women enter ex- 
tramarital affairs for numerous reasons, 
of course. But the vast majority explain 
their motivation in terms of a scarch for 
better feelings in the face of being emo- 
tionally dissatisfied with their husbands. 
Here's how one 38-year-old woman de- 
scribed it to us: “Tom decided some 
years ago that I wasn't a good sexual 
partner. Whenever we had oral sex, he 
told me I wasn't doing it right. When we 
had intercourse, I was always too slow or 
too cold or too mechanical. On many oc- 
casions he'd say to me, ‘You're lucky I'm 
your husband—no other man would 
ever be interested in you sexually.’ Little 
did he know that the three men I'd had 
affairs with in the past sang an opposite 
rune, telling me that my tongue was fan- 
tastic, my lovemaking was the most excit- 
ing they'd ever had and my sexual re- 
sponsiveness was, as one of them put it, 
like a string of Chinese firecrackers.” 

Many women who have affairs sub- 
consciously barter their sexual favors for 
a sense of being a desirable, valued per- 
son. As one perce} woman noted, “I 
trade 15 minutes in bed for a whole 
week of feeling wanted. I don’t think 
that's such a bad trade-off.” The extra- 
marital partners of these women gener- 
ally are quick to recognize the rules of 
the game: Their expected role is to be at- 
tentive, warm and sympathetic listeners, 
even if their actual time together is limit- 
ed, Men who fail to meet these needs for 
their extramarital partners are usually 
doomed to short-lived affairs. Men who 
are adept at reading their partners’ 
emotional requirements are, in contrast, 
able to sustain longer affairs on their 
own terms. 

In four decades we have encountered. 
only a handful of instances in which men 
turned to extramarital involvements in 
order to punish a spouse, whereas the 
revenge motif figures prominently in a 
quarter to a third of women's extramari- 
tal forays. Undoubtedly, the most com- 
mon factor is the discovery of a hus- 
band's infidelity. Here аге several 
explanations that women have given us 
that are typical of their reasoning. A 29- 
year-old computer programmer: “After 
eight years of marriage, I had never 
even flirted with another man and 
would never have dreamed of doing 


so. As far as I was concerned, almost 
everything about my marriage was good 
and solid. But then I found out that 
Dave had been having an affair with his 
secretary for more than two years. It 
made me so furious that 1 went out to a 
bar the first time he was away from 
home and let myself get picked up by a 
traveling salesman. 1 don't remember 
the sex very well, but I sure remember 
feeling, ‘I'm getting even with that son of 
a bitch’ the whole time the guy was on 
top of me.” A 33-year-old schoolteacher: 
“I was brought up to think that extra- 
marital sex was sinful. With two daugh- 
ters and a seven-year marriage, an affair 
was the last thing on my mind. But after 
I discovered that my husband was mess- 
ing around, I was madder than a bat out 
of hell. For revenge, I seduced his best 
friend and made sure he heard about it. 
What's good for the goose is good for the 
gander.” A 42-year-old nurse: “1 know 
that it's startling for a minister's wife to 
be telling you this. I can hardly believe it 
myself, because it’s really out of charac- 
ter. But after John admitted to me that 
he had been sexually involved with sev- 
eral women in his congregation, some- 
thing snapped inside, and I started 
to sleep around as sort of the ultimate 
act of revenge. I couldn't think of any 
other way to hurt him as much as he had 
hurt me.” 

Itis, by the way, remarkable that in ex- 
tramarital affairs involving two married 
people, the woman is usually the one in 
control. In contrast, when a married 
man has an affair with a single woman, 
the control is far more likely to be vested 
in the man. This is not only what we 
might call the operational control of the 
affair but also the strategic control over 
the longer-term outcome, especially 
whether or not the man leaves his wife. 
Clearly, the woman is most likely to de- 
cide if an affair starts, even if the man is 
the instigator. (In a substantial number 
of cases, women are the seducers rather 
than the seduced.) Once an affair is a fait 
accompli, it is usually the woman who 
decides how often, when, where and 
what the conditions for continuing the 
affair might be. Similarly, the types of 
sex permitted are virtually always gov- 
emed by the woman rather than the 
man. The exception here may be if the 
woman wants to indulge іп sado- 
masochistic action and the man demurs. 

The explanation given by this 33-year- 
old female psychologist addresses anoth- 
er fairly common aspect of how revenge 
plays out in the battle between the sexes: 
“1 had been married for a dozen years 
when I discovered that my husband had 
been moying money from his medical 
practice to an offshore bank account in 
his name alone. At first I felt betrayed. 
Alter all, I had sacrificed plenty while he 
was in medical school and serving his 


medical residency. Those were lean 
years, and now I deserved to reap the re- 
wards of our improving position. Once I 
got beyond my initial reaction, I became 
outraged and angry. So I lashed out at 
him the easiest way I knew how: I se- 
duced his partner and made sure my 
husband found out about it. In retro- 
spect, this may not have been a smart or 
mature thing to do, but at the time 1 
wasn't trying to accomplish anything but 
making him cry out in pain.” 

Many married women find, to their 
Surprise, that an affair brings a taste of 
empowerment and self-esteem that they 
previously lacked. This boost to their 
self-esteem stems from at least four sepa- 
rate dynamics. First, the element of ac- 
tive choice replaces the sex-as-duty dull- 
ness that tarnishes many marriages. The 
married woman involved in an affair is 
likely to be treated with attentiveness 
and affection that kindles a feeling of be- 
ing special and being wanted that is rem- 
iniscent of one of the most positive as- 
pects of her courtship days. An affair 
almost inevitably endorses a woman's 
sense of attractiveness and desirability. 
And aflairs give married women an al- 
ternate reality in their lives—a way of 
combating roles they have found unsat- 
isfying and replacing them, even if fleet- 
ingly, with new ways of self-expressive- 
ness and different patterns of behavior. 

Of course, some women opt to have 
affairs simply because they are sexual- 
ly dissatished and are looking for an 
innovative, physically stimulating lover. 
This is neatly shown by a few comments 
from women we have interviewed. A 34- 
year-old businesswoman: “My husband 
thinks sex is a lot like a two-minute drill 
on a football field: Although there's 
some body contact and movement, as 
long as he scores he’s happy. How I feel 
or respond doesn’t seem to enter his 
head." A 29-year-old physician: “Му 
husband is a nice guy and we're basically 
happy together, but our sex life can only 
be described as boring. No matter how 
many times I've tried to show him or tell 
him what I like, he always seems to slip 
back into the same old patterns, and I'm 
the one left high and dry. I'm sure it 
would shock a lot of people, but I called 
my old college boyfriend and proposi- 
tioned him, so now I get my sexual stim- 
ulation the way I like it, and I'm an eas 
er person to be around.” A 48-year-old 
housewife: “My husband is a successful 
accountant, a good father and an all- 
around good guy, but when it comes to 
making love, it’s like he’s doing tax cal- 
culations in his head: He's precise, me- 
chanical and unexciting. I can live with 
this as long as I have a lover who can 
take care of my needs with a spicier kind 
of sexual interaction. The latest one is a 
kid who's almost ten years younger than 
me. I met him at a golf tournament last 


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154 


summer, and I let him think he was se- 
ducing me." 

As we mentioned, with a high degree 
of consistency men seek extramarital li- 
aisons for the sexual excitement and va- 
riety they hope to find. In fact, in a 
survey that we conducted recently of 
200 married men who had had affairs, 
87 percent said that their primary rca- 
son was sexual. Here are some typical 
comments: A 29-year-old stockbroker: 
“There's nothing wrong with my mar- 
паре, and my sex life at home isn't bad. 
It's just missing the sizzle that used to be 
there. Extramarital sex brings that sizzle 
front and center for me. As long as my 
wife doesn’t find out about it, it’s actual- 
ly contributing to a bener marriage, be- 
cause I'm a happier, more satisfied per- 
son.” A 46-year-old attorney: “I've been 
married for 23 years, and for 23 years 
Гус had the same kind of sex. I finally 
decided that there had to be something 
more exciting, and I was right. I found 
exactly what I wanted: She's ten years 
younger than my wife, 20 pounds lighter 
and she gives great head, too.” 

Unlike women, few men deliberately 


turn to extramarital affairs for nonsexu- 
al reasons. While men’s sexual involve- 
ments may lead to emotional involve- 
ments—after all, it is not always easy to 
separate sex from intimacy—the emo- 
tional bonds that form seem almost par- 
enthetic to what men see as the purpose 
of extramarital activities. 


THE EFFECTS OF AFFAIRS 


There is an innate deceit involved in 
extramarital dalliances, and that deceit 
breeds numerous and often unanticipat- 
ed complications. Ifa person's extramar- 
ital activities are discovered (which hap- 
pens in a surprisingly large number of 
cases), there is a sizable risk that it will se- 
riously undermine the trust and intima- 
cy of his or her marriage. The unin- 
volved spouse (that is, the one who 
wasn't a participant in the extramarital 
sex) rarely reacts with casual acceptance 
unless he or she has had extramarital ac- 
tivities, too. Instead, the reaction is apt 
to be one of shock or outrage, and it is 
likely to set off negative consequences 
that reverberate through the marriage 
over time. 


“This may sound crazy, but I've been 
thinking about starting a religion that makes people 
feel good about themselves!” 


To some, extramarital sex is such a 
profound violation of moral and reli- 
gious principles, it shatters a fundamen- 
tal pillar of marital stability that can nev- 
er be put back together again. In other 
marriages, the problems precipitated by 
the discovery of clandestine extramarital 
involvements have nothing to do with 
moral or religious beliefs but are strictly 
grounded in how the affair affects the 
dynamics of marriage. 

А 33-year-old man who had been mar- 
ried for five years told us, “When I 
found out that Lauren had been having 
an affair, 1 felt like I had been raped.” 
This comment points to another nega- 
tive aspect of the discovery of an affair: It. 
victimizes the uninvolved partner with- 
out giving him or her any prior warning 
or means of avoiding such victimization. 
This is not just a matter of fairness or 
equal opportunity, though some spouses 
might see it that way (“If I'd known what 
that bastard was doing, I would've had 
some fun of my own”). 

Uninvolved spouses may be victimized 
in a number of other ways beyond hav- 
ing their feelings hurt and their trust se- 
riously eroded. For instance, they may 
have been exposed to sexually transmit- 
ted diseases or may have been victimized 
economically, too. The spouse who was 
sexually involved with someone else may 
have been paying for motel rooms, din- 
ners, weekend trysts and little (or not so 
little) romantic presents, or may have 
had an arrangement in which substantial 
sums were being paid for rent or other 
forms of support. In addition, the unin- 
volved spouse has been victimized in an- 
other way: He or she has had a substan- 
tial element of the balance of control in 
the marriage taken away in a unilateral 
and selfish manner. 

To examine the nature of extramarital 
sex without recognizing its inherent 
selfishness (except when it is done open- 
ly and with mutual advance consent) is 
to miss one of its core features, a feature 
that contributes greatly to its negative 
impact. Selfishness is not always inimical 
to a good marriage or to good sex, but 
selfishness played out surreptitiously, 
while pretending to be loving, selfless, 
considerate and monogamous, is a form 
of theft. What is stolen is the bond of 
trust and its attendant consent to mutual 
vulnerability between spouses. Such vul- 
nerability is based largely on the assump- 
tion that neither partner is out to hurt 
the other. It is not so much the extra- 
marital sex that is destructive as it is the 
unprincipled deceitfulness of the behav- 
ior. Perhaps this is why, in another era, 
many wives were relatively unconcerned 
by their husbands visits to brothels: The 
risk of emotional involvement was mi- 
nuscule, so the nonmarital sexual activi- 
ty per se wasn't threatening. 


ANTHONY HOPKINS 


(continued from page 60) 
this, this is an important career move.” I 
don't give а shit about anything. Because 
I don't care about it anymore, something 
else has come into my life, which is a 
real profound enjoyment of it. 
PLAYBOY: Lao-tzu said, "How do you 
clear muddy water? You don't stir it, you 
let it settle to the bottom.” 
HOPKINS: That's it, 105 a feeling of set- 
tling. The funny thing is that everything 
is coming to me. 
PLAYBOY: Were you surprised by the crit- 
ical acclaim of Howards End? 
HOPKINS: I wasn't. I thought it was going 
to be a good film. It was received well in 
England, and that surprised me, because 
the English don't like anything. They 
knock everything. They always have a go 
at Ken Branagh—and he's the only film- 
maker we have in England. 
PLAYBOY: Is there much of a film indus- 
try in England these days? 
HOPKINS: No film industry at all in Eng- 
land. I don't think people care, they 
don’t give a damn about it. The British 
are television addicts. And yet the cine- 
mas are beginning to fill up, but it’s all 
American movies. We don’t have any 
British movies much to speak of. I think 
the first British actor who really worked 
well in cinema was Albert Finney. He 
was a back-street Marlon Brando. He 
brought a great wittiness and power to 
the screen. The best actor we've had. 
Burton had it as well. The problems with 
the British film industry started in the 
Sixties when directors made films for 
their friends, not for the public. They 
were making films about washing lines 
and brass bands in North Country 
towns. So what? Who cares? 
PLAYBOY: You've expressed your admira- 
tion for Finney. Who else have you 
found extraordinary? 
HOPKINS: 1 suppose Olivier was, in his 
way. He represented something. 
PLAYBOY: What about Mick Jagger, who 
acted with you in Freejack? 
HOPKINS: I was only with him for a few 
days. Нез just an ordinary guy, very 
pleasant, easygoing. 
PLAYBOY: If Jagger is ordinary, what does 
that make Elvis and Madonna? 
HOPKINS: Madonna and Elvis are self- 
creations. That's their genius, they in- 
vented themselves. 1 don't know if 
they're human. ГА like to have met Or- 
son Welles. He was a mess at the end of 
his life. It’s not worth it, is it? Loneliness, 
sheer loneliness. And I'd like to meet 
Brando, though I know nothing about 
him except what one reads in the news 
PLaYBOY: Do you have an opinion about 
Brando and George C. Scott rejecting 
their Oscars? 
HOPKINS: It’s insulting. It’s criminal. It’s 
fucking pompous of them. Who the hell 
do they think they are? People ina good 
industry that has been very good to 


them and they make a lot of money, 
they're very rich in a luxury business. 
People who get the Oscar and use it asa 
doorstop for the toilet door—what are 
they trying to prove? It’s like somebody 
who gets up to get the Oscar in an 
evening suit, a tux, and wears tennis 
shoes. So, big deal, you're making a ges- 
ture, you're showing us what a rebel you 
are? You're showing us what a conser- 
vative arschole you are. They are ass- 
holes. I admire Scott and Brando, they 
are terrific, great actors. Why do they 
demean themselves? Why do that? Why 
insult people who want to see them? 
Why turn on them and piss in people's 
faces? That's what they're doing. They 
are turning around and farting in peo- 


at actors do you most 


HOPKINS: Faye Dunaway, she's one of the 
best American actresses. I like Pacino 
very much. De Niro. Michelle Pfeiffer, 
Jodie Foster, Johnny Depp, Winona Ry- 
der. My favorite actors are American 
actors. 

You're leaving out last year’s 
inner and your fellow country- 
man, Emma Thompson. 

HOPKINS: She's a really great actress. I 
don't know what it is about her She's 
one of the most intelligent actors Гуе 
worked with because she keeps it all sim- 
ple, direct and clear. 

PLAYBOY: Does she work at all the way 
you work? 

HOPKINS: We work in exactly the same 
way. Гуе done two films now with her. 
There's no bullshit with her. That's a 
compliment to myself, isn't it? We get on 
so well together because we seem 10 keep 
it light. You get into the character and 
then you do it. She asked James Ivory, 
“How should I age?” Then she came up 
with something brilliant. All she did, she 
wore brighter lipstick, had long, very 
varnished nails, and smoked a cigarette. 
It was a hardness and it was ex- 
traordinary. That was her contribution. 
PLAYBOY; Actors like Pacino and De Niro 
seem to spend a lot more time than you 
do getting into their roles. 

HOPKINS: Pacino and Dustin Hoffman 
and De Niro work very intensely, and 
they produce wonderful performances. 
I can't do that. For example, on The Re- 
mains of the Day I thought I had better go 
and study some butlers. A friend of mine 
introduced me to a butler at the Palace. I 
expected to meet a dummy. He was a 
very nice young fellow, didn't speak with 
a kind of upper-class accent, not vain. 
Just an ordinary, straightforward guy. 
And he was one of the top butlers. So I 
thought, well, that's the way it is. This 
butler I'm playing, Stevens, is a unique 
butler. He's so intent on being the per- 
fect butler he just waves goodbye to his 
whole life. He’s a bit of a fanatic, 
a perfectionist. He's over the top, he 
tries to do everything so precisely. His 


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156 


tragedy is he can't forgive himself and he 
begins to slip as he's getting older. He 
has longings, yearnings, and he can’t un- 
derstand them, because he’s so closed. 
And that’s his problem. He’s so lacking 
in self-knowledge, it's heartbreaking. 
When I read the script for Remains of the 
Day 1 started looking at scenes and 
putting them together. Once you've 
learned the dance steps you're free. 1 
don’t go along with the idea that you 
have to wait for the lines to come. I don't 
think they come to you, you have to 
learn them. Maybe that’s why a lot of 
American actors say all English actors 
are facile. Maybe they have a point, but 
for me, I have to learn the text. That's 
the most important thing, because in the 
text lies all the essence. 

PLAYBOY: What tricks do you use to help 
you learn your lines? 

HOPKINS: I take sections of the script and 
write it all out in longhand. Then I tape 
it to the washbasin and I learn it in par- 
rot fashion. Say it out loud 20 times, I 
have little marks in different colored 
pencils that look like cartwhecls—a four- 
stroke asterisk surrounded by a circle, 
which means “five.” I put them in my 


notebook. They're the number of times 
I've gone over them. It’s an obsession, 
really. I know that if I've done it 150 
times I really know it well. Sometimes I 
learn the end of the play first. 

I also do old magic tricks, like knock 
myself on the head three times in order 
to remember something. I know the text 
so well that I don't have to act it, and 
when the other actors have it you start 
playing tennis with it, hitting the ball 
back to one another. Everything starts to 
flow and your body responds because 
what you've done is concretize your 
thoughts, 

PLAYBOY: It certainly seems that your life 
has been like a game of racquetball, 
bouncing off four walls and the ceiling. 
HOPKINS: I love the bizarre arrangement 
of life, the choreography of life, where 
you don't know what's going to happen 
next. And my life has been a choreogra- 
phy. It's been such a series of dreamlike 
events. 

PLAYBOY: Is that the wisdom of Anthony 
Hopkins: Life is choreography, expect 
nothing? 

HOPKINS: Ask nothing, expect nothing 
and accept everything. That's it. I say to 


ә 


“You mean all these are pre-PLAYBOY?” 


myself every day, like a meditation: “It's 
none of my business what people say of 
me or think of me. I am what I am and I 
do what I do for fun and it’s all in the 
game. The wonderful game, the play of 
life on life itself. Nothing to win, nothing 
to lose, nothing to win, nothing to prove. 
No sweat, no big deal. Because of myself 
I am nothing, and of myself I've been 
nothing.” 

PLAYBOY: Where is that from? 

HOPKINS: 1 made it up—it came to me at 
a moment of severe depression ten years 
ago, sitting in a hotel in Rome. I was hav- 
ing an ego problem because I hadn't got 
what I wanted. I was sitting in a garden 
with a notepad, trying to write a book, 
and I wrote that down. It became clear 
to me. I repeated that to myself like a 
mantra. Ever since, a lot of extraordi- 
nary things have happened in my life. 
PLAYBOY: And you haven't been de- 
pressed since? 

HOPKINS: Well, I suffered through a sort 
of clinical depression about six years 
ago, and Jenni said, “Maybe you're al- 
ways depressed. You're Welsh, you're an 
actor, maybe you ought to accept that's 
what you are.” And I said, “No, I can't 
accept that. This is a role I'm playing." 
We play roles in our behavior, emotional 
games with ourselves. If we act as if we're 
depressed, then we'll be depressed. If we 
act as if we're troubled, then we'll be 
troubled. Too much thinking can wreck 
you. I can sit in the sun and think my 
way through the universe and just make 
myself miserable. People have too much 
time on their hands, too much time in 
order to get bored. All my problems 
come from arguments with myself. And 
recently I stopped fighting with myself. 
PLAYBOY: Did you go into a depression 
when your father died in 1981? Were 
you at peace with him? Or were there 
things left unsaid? 

HOPKINS: I was never very demonstra- 
tive emotionally or affectionate with my 
dad. I didn’t trust emotions or feclings at 
all. I gave his hand a squeeze before he 
died, and said “I love you.” That's the 
first time I'd ever said that in my life and 
I kind of muttered it and he gave my 
hand a squeeze and then he died. It was 
funny going to the hospital to see him 
and I thought, Well, that’s the end of 
that. Kind of a sobering thought. It does 
slow you down for a moment. 

PLAYBOY: Did you ever kiss your dad? 
HOPKINS: When he was dead. 

PLaYBOY: Do you have any fears about 
your own death? 

HOPKINS: I don't. I know that in the end 
there’s a peace, a real peace, and maybe 
darkness and nothing. I don’t have mor- 
bid thoughts about it. I’m in a state of 
grace, 1 suppose. Maybe it’s Zen. My epi- 
taph, if I ever have one, will be, “What 
was that all about?” 


WHAT'S HAPPENING, WHERE IT'S HAPPENING AND WHO'S MAKING IT HAPPEN 


AV И COOL IN THE SEA DES > 


here is more to today’s sunglasses than meets the eyes. 
Sure, your peepers are protected by lenses that eliminate 
ultraviolet rays, but the frames also have a lot going for 
them. Porsche Design's Variation model comes with ex- 
tra rims and additional lenses in different colors, while the frames 
for Ray-Ban's Classic Collection One are sterling silver. Currently, 


retro-look small ovals in metal or tortoise are hot, especially when 
combined with green lenses. Antireflection lens coating is available 
for night driving and computer work; so are scratch-resistant treat- 
ments. For the latter, check out Ray-Ban's Survivors series. Its Dia- 
mond Hard lenses are ten times more scratch-resistant than ordi- 
nary glass ones, and the styles are targeted for outdoor activities. 


Top row, left to right: Each pair of Porsche Design’s Variation sunglasses with interchangeable rims and lenses is numbered for identification, 
$360, including a case for housing it all. Chevy model tortoise sunglasses, by Dakota Smith, $130. (Tom Cruise wore Dakota Smith eyeglasses 


in The Firm.) Bottom row, left to right: Ray-Ban’s Classic Collection One sunglasses feature a sterli 
Shapes Collection antique-gold-framed sunglasses wi 


tarnishing, about $160. Sexy and styli 


silver frame that’s been coated to prevent 
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JAMES IMBROGNO 


Where & How to Buy on page 149. 


157 


—GRAPEVINE— 


Nice and Spice 

Rappers SALT-N-PEPA return to the charts with their fourth LP, 
Very Necessary. Socially conscious and concerned about safe 
sex and teen pregnancy, Salt-N-Pepa have put their money and 
mouths together. 


At Play 
with 
Shea 


Look for ac- 
tress CHERI- 
LYN SHEA in 
Beverly Hills 
Cop ПІ and 
Nick Nolte's 
Blue Chips— 
two big steps 
up from an 
earlier effort, 
Giant Metal 
Insects. 


The Corpus 
Christy - 

Meet new рор diva ا‎ 
LAUREN CHRISTY, 
whose self-titled 
LP is moving up 
the adult-contem- 


porary charts. A 
star is born. 


Pearls Before Swine 
Pearl Jam's EDDIE VEDDER isn't too keen on celebrity, 
but he likes making music. Vs. debuted at number one 
on the charts. Is Eddie ready? 


Catching 
Weeks 
at Her 

Peak 
Actress KATHE 
WEEKS has graced 
The Rick Dees 
Show and the TV 
soap The Bold and 
the Beautiful, 
and was seduced 


Smashing Success and abandoned 


Ed Begley, Је, 
Chicago's SMASHING PUMPKINS’ LP Siamese Dream hs s EE 
has gone gold on the charts. Lyricist Billy Corgan says, nonis c 
дез pon ro from the Crypt. 
We tried to make the band big.” It worked. И 


be around 
for years. 


Take Two 


Aspirin and 
Call in the 
Morning 
Actor WILLEM 
DAFOE is cavort- 
ing with Madon- 
па on video and 
with Miranda 
Richardson in 
Tom and Viv on- 
screen. Next up 
is a movie with 
Lena Olin. Lately, 
he’s been getting 
all the girls, It’s 
making him cocky. 


я + Michele Is Swell 
A \ From the beaches of Baywatch to beer spokesmodel for Coors, Budweiser and Miller to calen- 
dars and bikini contests, MICHELE MEYER keeps herself extremely busy, We're glad to uncov- 
X er her between assignments. 


BALLS TO YOU 


Tired of spending more time in the rough 
looking for golf balls than on the fairway hit- 
ting them? Check out the Gopher, which, ac- 
cording to its manufacturer, Lil’ Orbits, works 
“like a high-tech divining rod.” All you do is ex- 
tend Gopher's antenna and walk in the general 
direction of the ball. The antenna will automat- 
ically swing on its hinge and point toward your 
ball—and anyone else's. The price: $84.50, 
postpaid. Call 800-228-8305 to order. 


YOU’VE GOT THAT LOVING FEELING 


“You are expecting a career-making phone 
call. You and your lover are making love when 
the phone rings. Do you answer it?” That's just 
one of the questions in Lovers & Liars, a card 
game that invites players to talk—and lie— 
about their love lives. As is often the case in life, 
the winner is the biggest bluffer. Catalyst Game 
Corp. in Winnipeg, Manitoba, 800-267-8181, 
sells Loyers & Liars for $22.95, postpaid. “Do 
you have sexual fantasies you wouldn't share 
with your lover?” is another question. We'll 
take a pass on that one. 


POTPOURRI 


HIP CLIP-ON 


When a woman slips in- 
to an Ibiza swimsuit, 
there are no strings at- 
tached. The one-piece 
style pictured here will 
ding to her body by 
means of a gravity-defy- 
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worn to be believed. 
And, no, it won't pinch 
her in the wrong places 
Sizes small through 
large are available in 
black and gold for $90 
each, postpaid. Other 
one-piece styles are 
available. You can also 
order a two-piece suit in 
the same sizes for $40 to 
$70, depending on fab- 
| ricand whether you 
opt fora bikini ora 
G-string back. (Men's 
bathing suits in small 
\ through large are 
available for $35, post- 
paid.) To order, call 
Ibiza at 800-921-6111. 


WAY OUT WESTERN 


From the fringed looks favored by Buffalo Bill to the rhinestone 
glitter of Porter Wagoner, 100 Years of Western Wear, by Tyler 
Beard (with color photos by photographer Jim Arndt and oth- 
ers), captures the sartorial lore and lure of the Wild West. 
“Nashville Meets Hollywood,” “The Fall of Western Wear” and 
“Western Couture Goes Wild” are some of the chapters. There’s 
also a guide to Western retail stores and custom tailors and a list 
of museums that display vintage Western wear. The price: $30. 
Gibbs Smith in Layton, Utah is the publisher. 


SOUND EFFECTS GO CD-ROM 


Want to add yecoow, burrp or 998 other 
sound effects to your multimedia presen- 
tations? Interactive Publishing in Spring 
Valley, New York has released 1000 of the 
World's Greatest Sound Effects on CD-ROM. 
Recorded in 8- and 16-bit formats, the 
data-base sounds range from “aerosol 
spray” to “zipper up.” Plus there are 38 
different footsteps and four vampire 
howls. All for $49.95 in computer stores. 


Swonoooosh 


THE FINE ART OF CHAMPAGNE 


In 1983, the house of Champagne Tait- 
tinger introduced a collection series of 
vintage brut champagne bottles decorat- 
ed by famous artists. This year a 1986 
vintage champagne, decorated by lyrical 
abstract artist Hans Hartung, has been 
added to the series. (The bottles are pro- 
duced in limited numbers before the 
mold is destroyed.) Price: about $150. Act 
fast—prices in the collection have soared. 


BETTIE PAGE SPECIAL 


Christmas comcs carly this year. 
Special Editions Limited has just 
released a 31" x 25%” limited 
edition Ilfochrome print of Bun- 
ny Yeager's famous photograph 
of Miss January 1955, Bettie 
Page. (An Ilfochrome print that 
is properly stored should last at 
least 500 years.) Only 750 num- 
bered prints will be available 
and each will be signed by Hugh 
M. Hefner and Bettie Page. (It’s 
the first time PLAYBOY has reis- 
sued a Centerfold in a limited 
edition autographed by Hef and 
the Playmate.) Price: $512, post- 
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SMALL TALK 


Think of French miniaturist Patrick Richard's creations as tiny 
three-dimensional time capsules that showcase hobbies, sports, 
professions and lifestyles. For example, Le Garage Voiture, pic- 
tured above, measures 11" x 22" x 4” and sells for $616, postpaid. 
(The car is an E-type Jaguar.) Other one-of-a-kind "shadow box- 
es” made by Richard at his studio, Ruée Vers LArt, in Barbizon, 
France, are priced from $200 to $1200. Call Richard's American 
agent, Anita Casey, at 302-427-8382 for more information. 


RETURN OF THE 
MINI MAN 


"The first renderings of a pint- 
size creature nicknamed Funny 
Little Man appeared in German 
commercial art early in the 20th 
century. He smoked, drank, 
dined and eventually became a 
popular image appearing in 
posters, periodicals and other 
printed materials here and 
abroad. Now, Virginia Smith, a 
professor of art at Baruch Col- 
lege, has written The Funny Little 
Man: The Biography of a Graphic 
Image, an entertaining history of 
the ebullient “baby man” that in- 
cludes about 200 illustrations. 
‘The price: $34.95. Look for it in 
bookstores nationwide. 


NEXT MONTH 


RUSSIAN MOB E SICILIAN RESPECT 


in 


ENCHANTING ELIZABETH HEAVENLY HOOTERS, 


HOWARD STERN—SCOURGE OF THE ЕСС AND HERO TO THE RUSSIAN MOB—THE AGE OF PERESTROIKA 
THE SOCIALLY TWISTED, THE BAD BOY OF THE AIRWAVES | BROUGHT FREE SPEECH, GOODWILL AND PREDATORY 
HAS AMERICA CLAMORING FOR HIS PRIVATE PARTS. GANGSTERS. ROBERT CULLEN REPORTS ON THE INFLUX 
STERN GETS DOWN AND DIRTY (AND DIRTIER) ІМ А SUIT- ОЁ BLACK: MARKET ENTREPRENEURS WHO ARE BEGIN- 
ABLY INAPPROPRIATE PLAYBOY INTERVIEW—BY MAR- NING TO INVADE AMERICAN TURF 


SHALL FINE MODEM SEX—WHERE A RIDE ON THE INFORMATION 


RESPECT—RIVAL SICILIAN CAPOS TURN TO THE SAME dieron E As ee RI ME 
DOCTOR TO CURE WHAT AILS THEM AND DISCOVER YOUR BRAIN ALONG THE COMPUTER BYWAYS OF EROTI- 
THEIR OWN PRESCRIPTIONS FOR REVENGE—FICTION BY ^ ca gy MATTHEW CHILDS 
T. CORAGHESSAN BOYLE 

THE PLAYBOY MUSIC SURVEY RESULTS MUSICAL 
LAURENCE FISHBURNE HAS DIGNIFIED THE TOUGH- RAVES AND FAVES WHEN YOU HAVE IT YOUR WAY. PLUS 
LOVE FATHER AND TRANSFORMED IKE TURNER'S BLIND DAVE MARSH GIVES THE LOWDOWN ON EDDIE VEDDER 
AMBITION INTO A BRUISING CHARACTER STUDY. INA SPIR- AND SNOOP DOGGY DOG 
ITED 20 QUESTIONS HE TALKS WITH DAVID RENSIN 


HOOTEI MEN WI 
ABOUT ACTING. WOMEN AND PEE-WEE'S PLAYHOUSE OILERS = TEN PAGES СЕНЕ МО BERNER 


THE RESTAURANT INTO THE HOTTEST EATERY FRAN. 
JOEL AND ETHAN COEN MASTERMINDED A STRING OF CHISE IN AMERICA 


QUIRKY MOVIES THAT FEW BUT THE CRITICS APPRECIAT- PLUS: THE CAPTIVATING ELIZABETH NOTTOLI, OUR ES- 
ED. AFTER LOOKING FOR LOVE ІМ ALL THE WRONG SENTIAL SPRING AND SUMMER FASHION FORECAST, 
PLACES, THE BROTHERS COURT THE MAINSTREAM WITH KRAKAUER ON ASPIRIN, PLAYBOY'S AUTOMOTIVE RE- 
A STAR-STUDDED OFFERING IN THE HUDSUCKER PROXY— PORT. AND A LOOK AT BOOM BOXES FOR THE UPWARD- 
PROFILE BY WILLIAM PRESTON ROBERTSON Ly MOBILE 


FILTERS 


——— 


20 CLASS А CIGARETTES 


Good taste still 
costs less. 


YOUR BASIC UPDATE 


SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Quitting Smoking 
Now Greatly Reduces Serious Risks to Your Health. дет кен 
Kings: 16 mg “tar.” 11 mg nicotine-av. per cigarette by ЕТС method. 


JUST ADD 
BACARDI 


= % | TASTE THE FEELING. 
BAG “ |