Skip to main content

Full text of "PLAYBOY"

See other formats 


CHRISTIAN 4 | 
SLATER A J 


МАСРНЕКАЗИЯЯВ: — 


| PAUL 
| REISER 


SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Cigarette 


Smoke Contains Carbon Monoxide. 


@Philip Morns loc 1994, 


^ la | | 


i. 750 1 
> "ED EY TE PADDINGTON CORPORAI of 4 А 
а И 


© The Paddington Corporation 1994. Swiss Tip #9: Be on time 


PLAYBILL 


YOU CAN BE obnoxious and arrogant, rebellious and weird, or — Te 
just plain cool. But in today's world, pal, you have to have at- 

titude. Even veteran Contributing Editor Lawrence Grobel was 
impressed by his discussions with actor Christian Slater for the 
Playboy Interview. Slater has been in rehab and has appeared in 
19 movies. Не has dropped ecstasy—and dropped out of 
school. He's had run-ins with the law and with beautiful co- 
stars. The worst part: He's only 25. But that doesn't stop him 
from trashing directors or boasting about his next flick, Inter- 
view With the Vampire. Filmmaker Quentin Tarantino knows about 
violence, whether he's directing his new smash, Pulp Fiction, 
or witnessing a transvestite connect with the wrong end of a 
bat. Read the 20 Questions conducted by West Coast scribe Mar- 
gy Rochlin. Musicians Liz Phair and Courtney Love are raunchy, 
outspoken performers reshaping rock and roll's macho image 
with acidic lyrics and ironic innuendo. As Associate Editor 
Christopher Napolitano relates in Rock Girls, they're part of a new 
di: invasion that takes a spiked heel to your eardrum. Does GROBEL 
Phair's real-life behavior support her artistic licentiousness? 
Read If You Like Liz Phair, by Shane DuBow. Du Bow is a former 
PLAYBOY intern—but that wasn't his first stint as an apprentice. 
He was also once Phair's college squeeze. 

Yes, you can be married and hip. In fact, Paul Reiser says his 
union to a former waitress is a romantic legend that will help 
future stand-up comics get laid. Reading like an episode from 
his hit TV show, Mad About You, our Playboy Profile of Reiser by 
Steve Pond (David Levine did the portrait) is the private side of a 
newlywed who still thinks like a bachelor. 

Now for a really bad attitude: There's a lunatic on the loose. 
The FBI calls him the Unabomber; we call him The Scariest 
Criminal in America. The article is by reporter Michael Reynolds, 
who met with the FBI to profile the psycho who's been plant- 
ing bombs in devious packages for more than a decade, with 
lethal results. Curiously, he has recently targeted academics — 
and has given new meaning to the term dead-letter box. Mar- 
shall Arisman conjured up the artwork. 

We've also included some lighter mood-enhancers this 
month. As debate crackles over whether the Internet will be 
censored, cartoonist Keith Robinson imagines the worst in an il- 
lustrated feature, On the Net, and anticipates a new demon: cy- 
bersex harassment. The threat of a conventional sex harass- 
ment charge makes flirting more delicious for Yossarian, hero 
of Joseph Heller's masterpiece Catch-22, who has returned for a 
long-awaited encore. In an excerpt from Closing Time (Simon 
& Schuster), Yossarian, bedridden once again, contemplates 
old age, sickness, death and the ever-near ass of a beautiful 
nurse (illustration by Lorry Rivers). 

Speaking of front-row seats, movie critic Bruce Williamson re- 
turns with the seasonal feature Sex in Cinema. One develop- 
ment that pricked Williamson's interest: male actors flapping ROBINSON HELLER 
the dragon on-screen. Thankfully, the ladies—notably Elle ИР”, | 
Macpherson—are not to be outdone. You'll notice our fashion К 
layout New York Snow Job (photographed by chuck Baker) also 
makes good use of freeze-frames. It's a rundown of winter's 
most electric and toasty activewear. A more sedate alterna- 
tive—dressy cold-weather protection—can be found in Over 
the Top Coats. 1n our pictorials, we introduce a new Playmate, 
Donna Perry, and welcome back another, Pamela Anderson from 
Baywatch, While Miss November is just breaking into acting, 
Pamela Anderson (photography by Stephen Wayda) is smoking 
through Baywatch and bevond with a rep as a modern, Amer- 
ican Bardot. She remembers where it all started—and we're 
glad to have her home for the holidays. 


c 


ROCHLIN NAPOLITANO, 


LEVINE 


DUBOW REYNOLDS 


va 


È | 
WILLIAMSON WAYDA 


Playboy (ISSN 0032-1478), November 1994, volume 41, number 11. Published monthly by Playboy in national and regional editions, Playboy, 
680 North Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, Illinois 60611. Second-class postage paid at Chicago, Illinois and at additional mailing offices. 
Canada Post Canadian Publications Mail Sales Product Agreement No. 56162. Subscriptions: in the U.S., $29.97 for 12 issues. Postmaster: 
Send address change to Playboy, PO. Box 2007, Harlan, Iowa 51537-4007. E-mail: edit@playboy.com. 3 


PLAYBOY 


vol. 41, no. 11—november 1994 CONTENTS FOR THE MEN'S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE 


PLAYBILL. 
DEAR PLAYBOY .. 


PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS 3 Я Же? 
MOVIES A sees BRUCE WILLIAMSON 


VIDEO 

STYLE 

MUSIC MAT ES 5 y В 

JAZZ a xi e жүзө 22.22. NEIL ТЕЗЕК 

WIRED 

BOOKS $ пада = DIGBY DIEHL 
FITNESS 5 i ie - JON KRAKAUER 
MEN. à s 3 + г ASA BABER 
WOMEN CYNTHIA HEIMEL 


THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR 
THE PLAYBOY FORUM + . + а 
REPORTER'S NOTEBOOK—opinion a ROBERT SCHEER 


PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: CHRISTIAN SLATER—candid conversation — 
CLOSING TIME—fiction nta € жжтеу ке >= JOSEPH) HELLER: 
PAMWATCH—pictorial O 
MAD ADOUT PAUL—playboy profile. sss . .... STEVE POND 
NEW YORK SNOW JOB—fashion .......-- HOLLIS WAYNE 
ROCK GIRLS—article ............. 242404. CHRISTOPHER NAPOLITANO 
WHO'S WHO: WOMEN TO WATCH mm 
JF YOU LIKE LIZ PHAIR......... „ае „ЗНАМЕ DUBOW 


DRIVING MISS PERRY—playboy's playmate of the month 

PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES—humor 

THE SCARIEST CRIMINAL IN AMERICA—anticle . . . + ++. MICHAEL REYNOLDS 
SOVIET CHIC—modern living 

OVER THE TOP COATS fashion 

20 QUESTIONS: QUENTIN TARANTINO. . ЕК ци * 

WILD IN THE STREETS—automotive report ..- KEN GROSS 
SEX IN CINEMA 1994—pictorial да ‚ Лей by BRUCE WILLIAMSON 
ОМ THE NET—humor ez . ... .. KEITH ROBINSON 
WHERE & HOW TO BUY Е А AE 
PLAYBOY ON THE SCENE... E пита EGRE S, Wild Streets 


COVER STORY 
We knew Pamela Anderson was special when we spotted her in Lobatt’s beer 
ads. Miss February 1990 credits her Home Improvement and Baywatch success 
to her ruvsov appearances. And now the most famous lifeguard in the world is 
seen in 140 nations weekly by 20 percent of the earth’s population. Our cover 
was styled by Fanny Freemon ond shat by Contributing Photographer Stephen 
Woyda. Thanks to Alexis Vogel far styling Pam's untamed hore and makeup 


PRINTED IN U.S.A 


PLAYBOY 


these sexy тебет yy Queens: 
fette oet e 
Y 


PLAYBOY 
Secrets of 


MARING 


. .. to the same person forever 
VIDEO—VOLUME II 


Learn to create extraordinary, sexy 
surprises that make the most of your 
imagination; to take risks and expand 
your sexual horizons; and best of all, 
how to communicate your most 
intimate sexual needs and desires, 
Full nudity. VHS. Approx, 60 min. 
Item number XF1658V $19.95 


ORDER TOLL-FREE 
1-800-423-9494 


Charge to your Visa, MasterCard, Optima, American 
Express ar Discover. Mast orders shipped within 48 hours, 
{Source Cade: 49571) 


ORDER BY MAIL — 
Use your credit cord and be sure ta indude your account 
number and expiration date. Or enclose a check y 
order payablo to Playboy. Mail to Playboy, 9 
Dept. 49571, Itasca, Ilinols 60143-0809. 


There is а $4.00 shipping and handli per 
order. Illinois residents add 6.75% sales tax. Ca 
residents please add $3.00 additional per videa. Sos 
athor foreign orders or currency accepted. 


Also available at your local video and music stores, 


PLAYBOY 


HUGH M. HEFNER 
editor-in-chief 


ARTHUR KRETCHMER editorial director 
JONATHAN BLACK managing editor 
TOM STAEBLER art director 
GARY COLE photography director 
KEVIN BUCKLEY executive editor 
JOHN REZEK assistant managing editor 


EDITORIAL 
ARTICLES: PETER MOORE. STEPHEN RANDALL edi- 
tors; FICTION: ALICE к. TURNER editor; FORUM 
JAMES R. PETERSEN senior staff writer; MODERN 
LIVING: DAVID STEVENS editor; BETH томкт as 
Sociale editor; STAFF: BRUCE KLUGER, CHRISTO- 
PHER NAPOLI :О. BARBARA NELLIS associate edi- 
lo; DOROTHY ATCHESON publishing liaison: 
FASHION: HOLLIS WAYNE director; CARTOONS: 
MICHELLE URRY editor; COPY: LEOPOLD FROEHLICH 
editor; ARLAN BUSHMAN assistant editor; ANNE 
SHERMAN copy associale; CAROLYN BROWNE senior 
researcher; LEE BRAUER, REMA SMITH, SARI WILSON 
researchers; CONTRIBUTING EDITORS: asa 
BABER, KEVIN COOK, GRETCHEN EDGREN, LAWRENCE 
GRODEL. KEN GROSS ишотойте). CYNTHIA HEIMEL 
WILLIAM J. HELMER, WARREN RALBACKER. D. KEITH 
MANO, JOE MORGENSTERN, REG POTTERTON. DAVID 
RENSIN, DAVID SHEFF. DAVID STANDISH, MORGAN 
STRONG. BRUCE WILLIAMSON (movies) 


ART 
KERIG POPE managing director; BRUCE HANSEN 
CHET SUSKI. LEN WILLIS senior directors; KRISTIN 
KORJENEK associate director; KELLY RORJENER assis 
tant director; ANN SEUA. supervisor, keyline/ 
Dasteup; PAUL T. CHAN, RICKIE GUY THOMAS art 
assistants 


PHOTOGRAPHY 
MARILYN GRABOWSKI west coast editor: им LARSON, 
MICHAEL SULLIVAN senior editors; PATTY BEAUDET 
associate editor; DAVID CHAN, RICHARD FEGLEY 
ARNY FREYTAG. RICHARD 1251. DAVID MECEY. BYRON 
NEWMAN, POMPEO POSAR, STEPHEN WAYDA СО 
ing photographers; SHELLEE WELLS stylist; там 
Hawkins photo librarian 


PRODUCTION 
MARIA manpis director; RITA JOHNSON manager: 
JODY JURGETO. RICHARD QUARTAROLI. TOM SIMONE 
associate managers 


CIRCULATION 
BARBARA GUTMAN subscription circulation director; 
LARRY A. DJERE newsstand sales direclor; CINDY 
какомата communications director 


ADVERTISING 
IRWIN KORNFELD associate publisher: ERNIE REN. 
тица advertising director; Jay BECKLEY national 
projects director; SMES DIRECTORS: KIM L PINTO 
eastern region; от 1. GOSHCARIAN midwestern re- 
gion; VALERIE CLIFFORD western region; MARKET- 
ING SERVICES: IRV RORNBLAU marketing director; 
LISA NATALE research director 


READER SERVICE 
LINDA STRON. NIKE OSTROWSKI correspondents 


ADMINISTRATIVE 
EILEEN KENT new media director; MARCIA VER 
rones rights & permissions administrator 


PLAYBOY ENTERPRISES. INC. 
CHRISTIE HEFNER chairman, chief execulive officer 


“PEARL 


DROPS... 


A BURST 


OF WHITE 


[CAN 


FEEL.” 


PEARL DROPS 


МОДА INVENTED BY А DENTIST. PROVEN IN LAB TESTING. 
NTLE ENOUGH TO USE EVERY TIME YOU BRUSH. 


HIGH TECHNOLOGY 
WITHOUT THE 
HIGH ANXIETY 


How To MAKE SURE 
YOUR 5-Disc CHANGER 
Is UP TO SPEED. 


TAKE HOME THE NEW 


Color fluo- 
TECHNICS 5-DISC CHANGER AND YOU rescent 
display 
shoes yon the member 
GET HIGH TECHNOLOGY THAT'S USER- and location of loaded. 
discs eren uben the 
The Quick drawer is closed 


Disc Rotation System FRIENDLY. LIKE ULTRA-QUICK DISC m 


тейи» quiet, disc 10 m 


ийе cM э od a E == 
Jive seconds. And you CHANGES AND SUPER-INFORMATIVE Ds can == 
can still play one disc sound. 


while changing four pristine 


DISC LOCATION DISPLAYS. AND MUCH ee 


To our 
automatic 
adjustable 


MORE. ALL OF WHICH MEANS WHEN en 


YOU BUY THE NEW SL-PD1000, 
YOU WON'T GET SHORT-CHANGED 


"excludes 


The science of sound 


DEAR PLAYBOY 


ADDRESS DEAR PLAYBOY 
PLAYBDY MAGAZINE 
680 NORTH LAKE SHORE DRIVE 
CHICAGO, ILLINDIS 60611 
FAX 312-649-9534 
E-NAILDEARPE@PLAYBDY.COM 


NEON DEION 
Thad no idea who Deion Sanders was 
when I flipped to the Playboy Interview 
(August). But now I'm glad I do. He has 
accomplished a lot and he says no to 
drugs. I cheer his origina 
Amy McCarthy 
Highland Village, Texas 


As a faithful Braves fan, 1 am dis- 
turbed by Sanders’ waste of talent. Un- 
fortunately, his ego overshadows his val- 
ue as a team player. 
Herschel Harrison 
Blairsville, Georgia 


Sanders’ mother needs to have a talk 
with him. If 1 went into a restaurant in 
baggy pants and tennis shoes, with my 
hat on backward, and was treated like 
dirt, I'd deserve it. 


Wallis Parnelle 
WallisP@aol.com 
Austin, Texas 


20 QUESTIONS 
Contributing Editor David Rensin's 20 
Questions with Dana Delany (August) was 
oh-so-tasty. Isn't there some way to per- 
suade Delany to do a pictorial? 
Sean Hayes 
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida 


I've always liked Dana. She has that 
girl-next-door look and a delightfully 
sexy outlook. Ask her again to pose. 

Mike Bucy 
mrbucy@aol.com 
Valparaiso, Indiana 


DR. DEATH 
No one should be able to stop a com- 
petent adult from giving back the gift of 
life. Dr. Jack Kevorkian (Getting to Know 
Dr. Death, August) has learned something 
the rest of the medical establishment 
hasn't. Doctors ought to be servants of 
their patients, not judges of them. 
Michael McGarr 
Palmdale, California 


1 used to count on PLAYBOY to be оп 
the sane side of an is I think Dr 
Kevorkian is absolutely right. Modera- 
tion never changes anything. 

Karlene Morris 
Ogden, Utah 


1 don't believe that Dr. Kevorkian left 
the standard medical profession just to 
get his name in print. 1 think his motiva- 
tion was honest. There should be death 
with dignity. Kevorkian has а sensi- 
tivity that is missing from both church 
and state. 

Brian Hofer 
Elk Grove, California 


MEDIA 
1 admit I had never heard of Kurt 
Cobain at the time of his suicide, so I ea- 
gerly read Mark Ehrman's Media col- 
umn (August) in hopes of gaining some 
insight. So what did I learn? That Gen- 
eration X is angry and likes to whine 
about it. 
Linda Common 
Walden, New York 


1 commend Mark Ehrman on his col- 
umn. The aging people who run the me- 
dia are out of touch. Ehrman noticed 
and responded. 

Eric Vette 
calvin@Axe.cit.wayne.edu 
Detroit, Michigan 


Mark Ehrman's column on Kurt 
Cobain's suicide was one of the better 
ones, probably because it wasn't written 
in the midst of the media frenzy. Cobain. 
was a talented musician, but his personal 
life was a mess. Baby-boomer idols died 
accidentally or after they peaked. Ours 
betrayed us. 


Kris Gallimore 
Thunder Bay, Ontario 


MARIA CHECA 
Brava, Colombia. You have produced 
a small masterpiece in Playmate Maria 


PLAYBOY 


Winter Ski Fest 
1995 


Park City, UT Jan. 13-15 
Stratton, VT Jan. 27-29 
Telluride, CO Feb. 3-5 
Heavenly CA Mar. 10-12 
Aspen, CO April 7-9 
« Meet Playboy Playmates 

* Aprés Ski & Evening Parties 
= Mogul & Slalom Races 


* Contests & Prizes 


Pack Your Bags 
And Meet Us At 
The Mountain! 


All inclusive 4- and 7-night 
ski travel packages: 


+ Airfare & Accommodations 

* Lift Tickets & Rentals 

+ VIP Barbecue Lunch With 
Playmates 

* Guided Mountain Tours 


Call Playboy Winter Ski Fest 
Travel for details 


1-800-908-5000 


Checa (Roll Om, Colombia, 
¡Muchas gracias! 
Paul Pierce 


Davisville, West Virginia 


August). 


Could this be the most beautiful 
woman in the world? Contributing Pho- 
tographer Richard Fegley did a really 
great job. 


PLAYBOY 


Holly West 
Cleveland, Tennessee 


It was obvious from The Great 40th An- 
niversary Playmate Search pictorial (Janu- 
ary) that Maria was Playmate material. 
Congratulations. 

Robert Urdinola 
Laurel, Maryland 


iQue linda! Now, here's a Colombian 
export worth treasuring. More Maria. 
Daniel A. Monjar 
Raleigh, North Carolina 


As a connoisseur of petite women, I 
was awestruck by Maria Checa—an ex- 
ample of the perfect woman. 

Brian Christensen 
Sioux City, lowa 


TALK-SHOW BABBLE 

Julie Rigby's A Man's Guide to TV Talk 
Shows (August) said more in four pages 
than all the hosts of daytime talk shows 
combined. These shows accept personal 


opinion as fact. Rigby's chart ought to 
help make us more discerning in our 
viewing choices. 
Vance Krites 
Wooster, Ohio 
THE JOE SHOW 


I'll be honest with you. Often, I don't 
read the fiction in млувоу. But I read 
"Terry Bisson's The Joe Show (August) with 
interest. It was funny, though the ending 
bothered me. Could you ask him to write 
a sequel? 

"Thomas Ceckitti 
Columbus, Ohio 


BUTT OUT 
Robert Scheer is right on the mark 
with his August Reporter's Notebook, “Butt 
Out.” We've had enough of this puri- 
tanical nanny-state intolerance that per- 
mits a self-appointed group of experts 
to tell us that everything pleasurable is 
no good. 
Charles Dyer Jr. 
Tulsa, Oklahoma 


In his August column, Robert Scheer 
is misinformed about statistical matters. 
An established technique called meta- 
analysis, common in social science re- 
search, uses existing studies because da- 
ta are expensive to collect. This is not 
“cooked data.” Scheer notes that a 
“mere” 3000 people die from the effects 
of secondhand smoke each year. That in- 
10 dicates that the effect is small in absolute 


terms, not that it is statistically irrele- 
vant. It would certainly not seem to be 
unimportant either to the victims or to 
their families. 
Mark Walker 
Memphis, Tennessee 


NYPD NUDE 
What a stunning pictorial of Carol 
Shaya (New York's Finest, August), a wom- 
an with brains, poise, determination and 
beauty. 
James Best 
Hopewell, Virginia 


We've got a lot of crime down here in 
Birmingham. Think y'all could send us a 
couple of law enforcers on the order of 
Carol Shaya? 

Sam Langhorne 
Birmingham, Alabama 


As an avid female fan of PLAYBOY and a 
police officer, I was thrilled to see Carol 


Shaya on your August cover. So many 
people believe the old stereotype of a fe- 
male police officer: big, burly, probably 
homosexual and suffering from penis 
envy. Carol helps show that under the 
blue polyester and badge is first and 
foremost a woman. We can be both beau- 
tiful and brave. 

Kim Bowerman 

kimb@freenet.scri.fsu.edu 

Tallahassce, Florida 


Looks like 1 might have to do some 
jaywalking in the Bronx. Way to go. 
Brian Ferguson 
Diamond Bar, California 


Who said women in law enforcement 
can't be beautiful in and out of uniform? 
1 hope Carol Shaya doesn't get any grief 
for posing. It should be her decision. 

B. Thomas Diener 
Albuquerque, New Mexico 


1 don't even need to open the issue. 
Carol Shaya is the most spectacular wom- 
an I've ever seen. Best cover ever. 

Noel Mlynsky 
Las Vegas, Nevada 


MEN 
Applause to Asa Baber for having the 

imagination to use The Godfather as a 

parenting tool (Men, August). If more 

parents were interested in using modern 

media properly, there wouldn't be such 

an outcry about media violence. 
Timothy Chapman 
Lindenwold, New Jersey 


If we do not try to teach our children 
that the world can improve, it won't. 
Don Corleone was ruthless and uncar- 
ing outside his own family. There is on- 
ly one family—humanity—and we're all 
members. 

Chris Tuslow 
San Diego, California 


PENSACOLA REVISITED 

It is refreshing to see at least one na- 
tional publication treat the citizens of 
Pensacola as the innocent bystanders 
that they are in this terrible ongoing 
saga between the abortion clinics and the 
pro-life fringe. Now another abortion 
provider and his escort have been 
gunned down. Craig Vetter's Death at 
the Clinic Door (July) uncovered those fa- 
naücs, including tlic terrorist Paul Hill, 
who has been charged with this latest 
brutal crime, It is my deepest hope that 
the country will see these people for 
what they really are, and that PLAYBOY 
will continue to treat Pensacola with 
kindness. 


Joel N. Cotton 
Pensacola, Florida 


ELECTRONIC PLAYBOY 
I was surprised to discover e-mail ad- 
dresses in Dear Playboy. Publishing some- 
one's e-mail address is no different from 
publishing a phone number or address 
It leaves the person vulnerable to unso- 
licited and unwanted e-mail. 
John Thoo 
Davis, California 
We've quite sensitive to issues of privacy. If 
you don't want us to publish your e-mail ad- 
dress, let us know when you write. 


1 just got the Playboy Interview CD- 
ROM, and it seems to me that this is 
what the technology was invented for. It 
doesn't matter how whizzy the interface 
is or how much pseudo interactivity is 
thrown in. What counts is what's on the 
disc. 1 had five three-ring notebooks full 
of photocopies of Playboy Interviews. 1 
finally got to clear the shelf. 

Andrew Bonime 
76337.1146@cis 
New York, New York 


YOUR BASIC" CATCH 


It Tastes Good. It Costs Less. 


SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Smoking 
Causes Lung Cancer, Heart Disease, 
Emphysema, And May Complicate Pregnancy. 


5 Philip Morris Inc. 094 
Kings. 16 mg “tar,” 1.1 mg micotine—av. per cigarette by FTC method 


PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS 


URINE NEW JERSEY 


Hoboken, New Jersey's booming tav- 
ern trade is accompanied, unfortunately, 
by a trickle-down menace: public urina- 
tion. The 30 to 40 arrests per week for 
lack of continence are threatening to 
cause the municipal court to overflow 
Offenders’ excuses tend toward the elab- 
orate, with 2 preponderance including 
heartfelt notes from doctors attesting to 
the poor bladder control of the defen- 
dant. However, as the judge pointed out 
to one lawbreaker, a bladder problem 
doesn't explain why he was urinating on 
a mailbox. This yellow peril is equal op- 
portunity: urprising number of of 
fenders are women. Regardless of gen- 
der, those found guilty are given a $250 
fine. Given the volume of business, 
Hoboken might want to invest in а fleet 
of portable johns so that its fair streets 
may be once again unpuddled. 


FAT CHANTS 


Two former Benedictine monks who 
served as directors of the choir of the 
Santo Domingo de Silos Abbey are ask- 
ing the record company for $5 million in 
royalties earned by the smash-hit Chant 
The monks contend they arranged the 
scores that were sung and have regis- 
tered those arrangements with the prop- 
er authorities in Spain—and that it was 
because of their efforts, rather than 
through divine intervention, that the 
CDs took off. Juan Mestres, an attorney 
Tor EMI-Odeon, which issued the CDs 
remarked, “My opinion is that claiming 
to have arranged this 1000-year-old mu- 
sic is not realistic.” 


BUMPER FOOL 


It’s going to be harder to get ahead in 
the exciting and glamourous world of 
sumo wrestling. Aspiring sumo competi- 
tors have ied everything to get around 
the 58" height requirement. Some even 
have been Known to pound themselves 
on the head to produce height-enhanc- 
ing bumps. But Koji Harada, 16, 
thought to go that extra step and had six 
inches of silicone implanted on top of his 


head—which gave him a sort of Cone- 
head quality. The Japan Sumo Associa- 
tion ruled that Harada will be the last 
wrestler allowed to use implants since it 
fears others may be inspired to try some- 
thing really stupid to make the grade 


Gee, Bub, then no one will want it: A 
pickup truck in Sheboygan, Wisconsin— 
driven by a guy whose mother obviously 
never told him about sharing—was spot- 
ted with a bumper sticker that reads 
THEY CAN HAVE MY PENIS WHEN THEY PRY IT 
FROM MY COLD, DEAD FINGERS. 


THE O.J. WATCH 


It could have been a flack's worst 
nightmare. OJ. Simpson attended а 
board meeting as a director of the 
Forschner Group—a Connecticut-based 
company that markets Swiss Army and 
Sabatier knives—three days before the 
murder of his ex-wife. Don Dwight. a 
spokesman for the firm, told The Wash- 
ington Post, “We are obviously retracing 
his visit carefully in light of what's hap- 
pened. No one recalls him leaving with 


[a gift box of] knives. Directors were giv- 
ena choice of Forschner products, and 
OJJ. selected a watch.” 


PENT-UP PETS 


How do pets handle the dog days 
of summer? Not well, especially if they 
suffer from what New York City veteri 
narians call High-Rise Cat Syndrome. 
The disorder occurs when peis—for no 
known reason—jump or fall out of mul- 
tistory dwellings. Apparently, cats are 
the most common victims; one New York 
vet sees 150 to 200 survivors a summer. 
Other afflicted animals include high-rise 
dogs, ferrets and the occasional turtle or 
iguana, Theories abound regarding the 
syndrome: The pets chase intruders or 
real or imagined animals, they lose their 
balance or just have poor depth percep- 
tion. A research paper concluded that 
the worst injuries occur in cats that fall 
five to nine stories. It seems that the 
flying felines achieve a “terminal veloci- 
ty” of 60 miles per hour after five stories; 
beyond that, their speed remains rough- 
ly the same. However, cats that fall far- 
ther often escape serious injury. After 
nine stories, they are able to wiggle them- 
selves into a soft-landing position that 
seems to protect them, In June, for ex- 
ample, a cat fell 46 stories into a planter 
and emerged virtually unscathed. 


CHARDONYET 


Religious freedom may be on the rise 
in Russia, but the quality of church spir- 
its still has a long way to go. Apparently, 
the sacramental wine used liberally in 
Russian Orthodox services is almost un- 
drinkable. When Alexi II, patriarch of 
Moscow, declared that the wine was unfit 
to embody the blood of Christ, several 
Christian winemakers from California's 
pa and Sonoma counties heard the 
call and launched a mission of mercy to 
help church leaders start their own 
wineries. The dearth of good wine af 
fects more than just religion: Another 
American vintner who recently visited 
Russia was asked about the effective- 
ness of his wine in staving off radiation 


13 


FACT OF THE 
MONTH 

According to Beat- 
ing Murphy's Law, by 
Bob Berger, the 
odds of a first-time 
screenwriter selling 
one of the 30,000 
screenplays regis- 
tered with the 
Writer’s Guild each 
year are 140,000 to 1. 


QUOTE 
"Let's get this 
mother out of 
here."—THE LAST 
WORDS SPOKEN ON 
‘THE MOON, UTTERED BY ASTRONAUT EU- 
GENE CERNAN OF APOLLO 17 


SCREEN SMOKE 
In a University of California-San 
Francisco study of 62 feature hlms 
made between 1960 and 1990, the 
number of times that tobacco was 
used: 611. Percentage of on-screen 
smokers who were major characters 
in the Sixties films: 38; in the Seven- 

ties: 29; in the Eighties: 26. 


LADIES ON-LINE 

Approximate percentage of female 
subscribers to the Echo (East Coast 
Hang Ош) computer service net- 
work: 40; percentage of women on 
Prodigy: 40; on America Online: 30; 
; on Delphi Internet Ser- 
vices: 15; on Compuserve: 10. 


SAND DOLLARS 
Amount of phony U.S. currency 
produced by counterfeiters overseas 
(mostly terrorist organizations in the 
Middle East) in 1993: $120 million; 
amount counterfeited in the U.S: 
$24 million. 


DIRTY DAIRY TRICKS 

In a recent survey, percentage of 
Californians who have admitted to 
drinking milk directly out of the car- 
ton: 59; percentage who said that 
they put the carton back in the refrig- 
erator even after emptying its con- 
tents: 31; percentage who said they 
have blown milk out of their noses: 
39; percentage who said that they 


have made milk a 


part of their sex 
lives: 14. 
PUMPING WATER 


Number of quarts 
a physically active 
person can sweat per 
day: 5 to 10; number 
of quarts a sedentary 
person sweats: 0 to 2. 


SPACED OUT 

Amount of the 
$120 million mission 
j by Luna Corp, Inc., 

a private company, 

to send to the moon 
in 1997 a remote-controlled vehicle 
that vill be devoted to scientific pur- 
suits: $30 million; amount devoted to 
an amusement park’s virtual reality 
CREE planned for the paying. 
public: $90 million. 


KITTY HAWKED? 

Number of routes on which airlines. 
during the past five years replaced 
jets with smaller propeller planes: 
375. Percentage reduction in operat- 
ing costs achieved by using propeller 
equipment: 30. 


THE FAT RISES 

Dedine in ad dollars spent last year 
for such products as diet soda, sugar 
substitutes and margarine: $309 mil- 
lion; increase for such products as ice 
cream, butter, fast food: $1.6 billion. 
Percentage of Americans who said 
they were committed to maintaining 
a fit lifestyle in 1988: 42; percentage 
in 1993: 30. 


HIGH PERFORMANCE 
For the years 1987 to 1992, average 
annual number of attempted carjack- 
ings in the U.S.: 35,500; number per 
ycar that were successful: 18,600. 


THE COST OF TRASH 

Number of types of promotional 
products given away each year: 
15,000. Yearly cost to corporations or 
groups for free-to-the-public promo- 
tional products emblazoned with 

their logos: $5.2 billion. 
—BETTY SCHAAL 


sickness. “It’s common knowledge there 
that the rehabilitation of soldiers who 
went to Chernobyl was vastly helped by 
red wine," says Patrick Campbell of the 
Laurel Glen winery. “They believe in it 
like they believe in the Virgin Mary. 


SIN SELLS 


For the first time, everything you ev- 
er wanted to know about sin but were 
afraid to ask has been put between two 
covers. The tome, Catechism of the Catholic 
Church, recently became England's most 
unlikely best-seller. Perhaps finding it an 
excellent and exacting guide to guilty 
pleasures, book buyers in the country 
that started a religion around the right 
to divorce drove the catechism as high 
as number 12 on best-seller lists, sand- 
wiched between the cartoon-inspired 7 
Was a Teenage Worrier and Fever Pitch, a 
fan's look at a London soccer team. 


3-D MOVIE OF THE MONTH 


First they brought us Upstairs, Doun- 
stairs; now it's just downstairs. The BBC 
filmed a British couple making love 
three times for three weeks—from 
the inside feat was accomplished 
with what David Letterman might call a 
vagicam—a stainless мес! camera the 
size of a ballpoint pen (wince)—which 
was inserted into the woman, Another 
minicam was strapped to her husband's 
Гоу unclear what special effects ca- 
pabilities these cameras possess, but we 
suspect zoom and wide-angle might 
cause too much wow and flutter on the 
other end, 


CALORIE COUNT 


Attention, IRS agents: George Puzak, 
a Minneapolis parks-and-recreation 
board member, requested reimburse- 
ment for official travel at the rate of 29 
cents per mile—even though he travels 
those miles by bicycle. Minnesota state 
representative Phyllis Kahn apparently 
also bills the state for official travel by bi- 
cycle, but at a lower rate. She figures the 
rate covers the bananas and yogurt she 
consumes as fuel. plus a penny per mile 
in bicycle depreciation 


BALLOT BOX 


You probably read about the teacup- 
size tempest caused when 63-year-old 
Brazilian president Itamar Franco was 
зсеп holding hands with and kissing 27- 
year-old Lilian Ramos in the presiden- 
tial box during the annual carnival cele- 
bration in February. Photos taken at the 
event show Ramos waving to the crowd, 
a gesture that hiked up her dress and re- 
vealed that she was not wearing under- 
wear. Franco defily responded to the en- 
suing criticism of his taste and judgment 
by saying, “How am I supposed to know 
if people are wearing underwear?” 


2 • в а o 
MACY'S ABRAHAM & STRAUSS DAYTDN'S 


MOVIES 


By BRUCE WILLIAMSON 


ANY ROMANTIC comedy that moves from 
Pittsburgh to Venice, Rome and the 
Amalfi coast gets a plus for all that up- 
scale scenery—cspecially when shot by 
master cinematographer Sven Nykvist 
Only You (TriStar) is a pleasant, light trav- 
clog starring Marisa Tomei as Faith, а 
young teacher about to get married but 
dogged by doubt. Faith just can’t forget 
that the man of her dreams is supposed 
to be named Damon Bradley—accord- 
ing toa Gypsy fortune-teller and a Ouija 
board that spelled it out for her when 
she was 11. When Damon's name pops 
up during a phone call, she pursues the 
elusive dreamboat to Italy, taking along 
her wisecracking sister-in-law (Bonnie 
Hunt). She's too fixed on Damon to set- 
Ue for a Boston shoe salesman abroad 
(Robert Downey Jr.), though he is clear- 
ly Mr. Right. Far superior vintage come- 
dies, including Roman Holiday and Sum- 
mertime, are the role models for Only You. 
But Tomei and Downey add flip contem- 
porary flavor to make this every bit as 
young at heart and wholesome as its 
forebears. ¥¥'/2 


Meryl Бисер in an action movie? Well, 
hang on tight for The River wird (Univ 
sal). That 5 Streep running the rapids 
as a former white-water guide on a raft 
with her husband (David Strathairn) and 
her young son (Joseph Mazzello). They 
are à Boston couple undergoing marital 
problems, which are nothing compared 
with the problems that develop with a 
pair of traveling river rats (Kevin Bacon 
and John C. Reilly) they encounter en 
route. Bacon oozes menace and sexual 
innuendo as a fugitive who steals, flirts 
and kills with relish after t в Ше 
family hostage. Director Curtis Hanson 
wrings suspense from Denis O'Neill's 
screenplay, but Streep cranks up what 
might have been a formula thriller to 
new heights, as a woman with brains 
more than equal to her brawn. УУУУ 


After wowing audiences at Cannes, 
writer-director Darnell Martin's 1 Like It 
Like That (Columbia) ought to repeat its 
success Stateside. The work of an Afri- 
can American woman with major-movie 
backing, / Like It looks small but stands 
tall as a lively, sassy, urban love story 
about a married couple in the South 
Bronx. Lauren Vélez and Jon Seda co- 
star as Lisette and Chino, who have 
three kids and plenty of trouble. She's 
black, he’s a Hispanic whose mother (Ri- 
ta Moreno) encourages his relationship 
with a scheming vamp named Magdale- 

16 па (Lisa Vidal). While Chino serves time 


Downey and Tomei an Only duo. 


Marisa seeks Mr. Right, 
Meryl gets her feet wet, 
city and country folk raise hell. 


in jail for looting, Lisette gets a job with a 
Latino record company operated by a 
guy (Griffin Dunne) who is more than 
willing to help her have a go at infidelity. 
Family values are defended by Lisette's 
transvestite brother, Alexis (Jesse Bor- 
rego), who provides much of the comic 
relief. To keep Martin's ethnically orient- 
ed marriage-go-round in motion, Vélez 
and Seda project the kind of gutlevel 
sexual chemistry that some overpaid 
movie stars seldom achieve. ¥¥¥ 


А culture in crisis is the subject of S.£W. 
(Gramercy Pictures), which stands for So 
Fucking What, a phrase repeated often 
during this corrosive, dark comedy. 
Based on Andrew Wellman's novel (de- 
veloped from a short story that won 
nLAYBOYs College Fiction Contest in 
1989), the movie, written and directed 
by Jefery Levy, has the jumpy rhythm of 
a music video. It is essentially a sharp 
take on the media exploitation of fame 
for any reason—and $.EW. studies the 
obsession with a feisty kid 
Spab. Vividly played by 
Stephen Dorff, Spab earns instant ce- 
lebrity during 36 days of headlines and 
television news coverage as one of five 
hostages held by masked gunmen at a 
convenience store. Spab becomes the 
publics favorite as a white suburban 
smartass who utters remarks such as, 
“My hobbies include can collecting and 


dry-fucking cheerleaders.” The terror- 
ists, who wield a video camera as well as 
deadly en re not identified, and 
they don't really matter. SEW flashes 
forward and bado йош the bloody 
hostage equally chilling after- 
math. Here's a disturbing vision of our 
time, when fame is flecting and “bored 
shitless" young people believe that noth- 
ing really matters. УУУ 


Director J. Michael McClary presents 
adark picture of the American dream as 
a disaster in Curse of the Starving Class (Tri- 
mark), based on Sam Shepard's play. 
James Woods plays Weston Tate, a loser 
beset by gambling debts and drunken- 
ness. Weston's wife, Ella (Kathy Bates), 
plans to sell their ranch and escape to 
France. Both are bamboozled out of the 
property by a shyster lawyer (Randy 
Quaid). while their teenage children 
(Kristin Fiorella and Henry Thomas) 
scrap on the sidelines of this nonstop 
family feud. Unremittingly downbeat, 
Starving Class will probably be best re- 
membered for Woods nude scene. Out- 
raged at having lost everything else, he 
strips off his clothes to face a cruel world 
as naked as the day he entered it. УМ? 


As the small-town lover-boy Linda 
Fiorentino calls “my designated fuck,” 
Peter Berg hesitates when she tries to 
lure him into a life of crime. “I'm sorry 
the law doesn't make it easier for you to 
steal and deal drugs,” her lawyer com- 
miserates. There's much more to come 
in The Last Seduction (October Films), di- 
rector John Dahl's street-savvy film noir 
{already shown on HBO prior to its au- 
tumn theatrical opening, a pattern es- 
tablished by Dahl's previous Red Rock 
West). Fiorentino brings heat to her role 
as а two-timing dame named Bridget, 
who leaves her husband (Bill Pullman) 
holding еле ig while she runs off with 
the proceeds from a huge drug sale. Un- 
der an assumed name, she settles down 
to hatch new schemes involving sex, 
blackmail and murder. Berg and Pull- 
man are perfect foils for Fiorentino, who 
scratches out her niche as one of those 
movie bad girls you can't forget. v 


Never mind that Woody Allen, as 
writer and director of Bullets Over Broad- 
way (Miramax), casts Rob Reiner as a bo- 
hemian playwright who insists that * “the 
artist пее, his own moral univers: 


al life. But e impishly uses the 
justify a bundle of big, broad, hilarious 
showbiz gags about the bad old days 


The National Wildlife Federation” presents The 
Siberian Tiger, by J.L. Schmidt. The brilliant 
wildlife sculptor's first work in porcelain and erys- 
tal. Capturing the vanishing majesty of the power- 
ful but endangered tiger of the snows. 


Crouched upon a crystal precipice, 
La threatened by loss of habitat, the mighty 
5 СОЙ Siberian Tiger roars its defiance— 
P fighting to survive despite all odds 
against it! 

Itis a breathtaking moment. Now captured forever 
in a world premiere work of art created for The 
National Wildlife Federation® by the famed wildlife 
sculptor J.L. Schmidt. А museum-quality showpiece 
that is all the more important because it is also the 
noted artist's first work in ha ed porcelain 
and faceted full-lead crystal. 

‘The tiger is a study in controlled fury. Fangs bared, 
muscles tensing, eyes blazing with anger. And the 
bold European crystal base—handerafted so that no 
two are exactly alike, and each will be forever 
unique—is the ideal counterpoint to this superb im 
ported sculpture. 

‘The Siberian is the largest, most powerful tiger on 
earth. Yet fewer than 180 still exist in that bleak 
wilderness. Few works of art have ever shown their 
plight with such impact 
Just $195, payable in 
monthly installments. 

SATISFACTION GUA IANTEED. 
If you wish to return any 
Frarklin Mint purchase, sou 
may do so within 30 days of 
your receipt of that purchase, 
for replacement, credit or | Siberian Tiger is тепси. 


refund. lously hand-painted in 
authentic colors of nature 


very Please mail by 


November 30, 1994. 


АЁ xr Guaraniee 


"v christmas Deli 


1 National Wildlife Federation’ + C/o The Franklin Mint 

1 Franklin Center, PA 19091-0001 

1 Please enter пъ Order for The Siberian Tiger, by 1. Schmidt, autho 
d and authenticated by al Wildlife Federation 

11 need SEND NO MONEY NOW. 1 will be billed in 5 equal 

monthly payments of $39° each, with the first installment due 

{rise shipment E 1 


1 
1 SIGNATURE 


TILER TRE ЖТТ ACCEPTANCE 


MISS. 


cvs mp 


TELEPHONE # ) - З 
maru 15615-23-001-BQBE 


Englund: There'll always be a Freddy. 


OFF CAMERA 


We caught up with ferocious 
Freddy as Wes Craven's New Nighi- 
mare opened nationwide, marking 
the tenth anniversary of the now- 
classic horror series. How does the 
classically trained Robert Englund 
feel about being the top ghoul for 
an entire generation? At 45, he de- 
clares: “I'm honored to be com- 
pared with such people as Boris 
Karloff, Lon Chaney and Vincent 
Price. Since Nightmare, my fans 
have changed—now punk-rock 
and heavy-metal people want my 
autograph. Some guys even ask 
me to sign their girlfriends’ cleav- 
age, which 1 do.” What's more, he 
gets to travel a lot to science fiction 
and horror film festivals, where 
Freddy is a big draw. "In Europe,” 
says Englund, “I wind up on pan- 
els with Stanley Kubrick.” 

As for the have-sex-and-die 
theme running through every 
Nightmare, Englund laughs it off. 
“Wes stuffs his movies with these 
cautionary tales of adolescent 
fear—the idea, as you're growing 
up, that sex is bad. That's Craven's 
mythology, and we have a lot of 
fun with it.” His seventh Nightmare 
in the can, Englund sees the series 
as “a sort of testing ground for 
new talent. People like Johnny 
Depp and Patricia Arquette have 
been notable among my teen vic- 
tims—notches on my gun.” 

Before he found fame as Fred- 
dy, Englund was a TV star (in V) 
and had supporting roles in films 
with Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jeff 
Bridges and Susan Sarandon. “1 
was America's favorite white trash, 
always running around with a 
switchblade and stocking cap.” 

The newest movie, Nighimare, is 
a movie within a movie in which 
he sometimes plays himself. “He's 
sick and tired of showing up on 
bubble-gum cards. There may not 
be another Elm Street, but | 
wouldn't be surprised if we see 
Freddy again.” 


when gangsters mingled with actors on 
the Great White Way. Set during Prohi- 
bition, Bullets concerns a budding play- 
wright (John Cusack) whose financial 
backer is a Mob boss named Nick (Joe 
Viterelli). Nick wheels and deals to get 
his dopey, well-kept chorus girl (Jen- 
nifer Tilly) a big part in the play, and 
he's the kind of entrepreneur who inter- 
rupts a business meeting to bellow over 
the telephone: “I'll pull his guts out 
through his windpipe. I want it to look 
like arson!” The fun has barely begun as 
Allen weaves a collection of clichés into a 
flashy showpiece for Cusack, Tilly, Jack 
Warden, Tracey Ullman, Mary-Louise 
Parker and Chazz Palminteri. As the 
chorine's ever-present bodyguard, Pal- 
minteri steals scene after scene as a thug 
who turns out to be a writer who repairs 
plays—a hit man in more ways than one. 
‘Topping them all is Dianne Wiest, dyna- 
mite as the nominal star who calls herself 
“some fading Broadway legend” and 
hams through the proceedings with un- 
buttoned brio. The material is thin, and 
Allen doesn't quite know how to wrap up 
the loose ends, But you will probably be 
laughing too hard to quibble. ¥¥¥ 


In another first-rate movie from Chi- 
na, director Zhang Yimou's To Live 
(Samuel Goldwyn) brings back Gong Li, 
the gorgeous and gifted superstar of 
four саћа works by Zhang. This time, 
Gong Li ages gracefully as the long-suf- 
fering wife of a puppeteer and gambler 
(Ge You) through decades of tumul- 
tuous political history. Periods of civil 
war plus an uneasy peace under the 
watch of fanatic young Red Guards 
make Tò Live a fascinating lesson in how 
one couple learns to suffer, survive and 
endure. The movie demands patience, 
but viewers won't go away empty. ¥¥¥ 


Adapted by writer-director Frank Dara- 
bont from a Stephen King novella, rhe 
Shawshank Redemption (Columbia) has 
more humanity than shock value. But it 
is still a brutal, two-fisted prison movie 
that rivets attention. Tim Robbins plays 
a young banker wrongly convicted of 
killing his wife and her lover. and Mor- 
gan Freeman is a lifer who teaches hi 
new friend how to survive jailhouse an- 
archy. There are pungent, dramatic 
high points throughout—rape, getting 
even with a guard (Clancy Brown), the 
murder ofa young inmate (Gil Bellows) 
who has evidence that the authorities 
want to suppress. Yes, it has all been 
done before, back in the heyday of Bo- 
gart and Cagney behind bars. Yet Shaw- 
shank Redemption, named for the hellhole 
state prison, pays off as a vivid, surpris- 
ingly upbeat, brilliantly played drama 
that rejuvenates an old form. УУУУ» 


MOVIE SCORE CARD 


capsule close-ups of current films 
by bruce williamson 


The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the 
Desert (Reviewed 9/94) Drag bus trip 
through Australia’s outback. wm 
Barcelona (9/94) Two Americans take 
Spanish belles by storm. Wh 
Blue Sky (10/94) Army angst, but 
Lange and Jones lighten it up. УУ 
Bullets Over Broadway (See review) 
Woody puts on a glitzy show. yyy 
Café au Lait (10/94) A pregnant Parisi- 
enne and her two loves. wa 
Curse of the Starving Class (See review) 
James Woods loses it. Wh 
Fat Drink Man Woman (9/94) Widower 
cooks things up for daughters. УУУ 
Forrest Gump (9/94) Hanks hits again as 
a sweet, dim-witted winner. УУУУ 
fresh (9/94) Street kid beating the 
odds against rival drug lords. yyy 
A Good Mon in Africa (10/94) Connery 
at large in an emerging nation. ¥¥¥ 
1 Don't Want to Tolk About It (10/94) The 
man who marries beneath him, so to 
speak, is Marcello Mastroianni. ¥¥¥ 
I Like It Like That (See review) True ro- 
mance blooms in the Bronx. УУУ 
Killing Zoe (10/94) Bloody hell. Wh 
The Last Seduction (See review) Her 
body heat leaves scorch marks, УУУ 
Only You (See review) Dewy-eyed girl 
in pursuit of her dreamboat. ¥¥/ 
Princess Coraboo (10/94) She's either a 
royal fugitive or a fake. Wh 
Pulp Fiction (9/94) Star-studded gang- 
land epic from Tarantino. УУУУ 
Quiz Show (10/04) TV corruption 
vividly recapped by Redford. Уууу 
Rapa Nui (Listed only) Spectacular 
Easter Island history lays an egg de- 
spite Jason Scott Lee's best efforts. YY 
The River Wild (See review) Streep runs 
the rapids with style. КУД 
See review) The media blitz sat- 
to hell and gone. УУУ 
The Shawshank Redemption (See review) 
New jailhouse epic with а jolt. УУУУ» 
Sleep With Me (Listed only) Newlyweds 
messing with infidelity in L.A. yy 
Spanking the Monkey (8/94) A college 
boy scores with his sultry mom. ¥¥¥ 
Time Cop (Listed only) Jean-Claude 
Van Damme turns back the clock. YY 
To Live (See review) Through the years 
with a Chinese couple. wy 
Trial by Jury (Listed only) William 
Hurt, Armand Assante and Joanne 
Whalley-Kilmer can't save a melodra- 
ma about courtroom corruption. ¥ 
True Lies (Listed only) Arnold tangos 
through the carnage. УУУУ 
What Happened Was (10/94) A tentative 
first date goes horribly wrong. УУУ» 


YY YY Don't miss 
¥¥¥ Good show 


¥¥ Worth a look 
Y Forget it 


© 1994 COSMAIR, INC. 


INTRODUCING 


HORIZON 


R MEN 


у " 
EAU DE TOILETTE” 


Guy Laroche 
aris Ра 


L 


de 


VIDEO 


ШИШИ 


Back їп 1966, lusty 
lingo such as “screw 
you” and “hump the 
hostess" in Who's 
Afraid of Virginia 
Woolf? didn't fall on 
deaf ears. Liz and 
Dick's on-screen 
squabbling inspired 


the Motion Picture Association of America 
to create a brand-new alphabet—Tranging 
from G to X—and the film industry has 


been letter-ridden ever since. At home, 
MPAA president Jack Valenti shelves the 
rating game for good old-fashioned view- 
ing on the ten-foot screen in his den. “A 
Man for All Seasons is my all-time ta- 
vorite,” he says, reciting а list that in- 
cludes Shane, Paths of Glory, Patton and, 
surprisingly, the perennially profane 
Richard Pryor. “Pryor is a genius, beyond 
raves the codemaster gen- 

. "He's un-Xeroxable!" Speaking of 
which, does any X-rated fare earn Valenti's 
seal of approval? “Midnight Cowboy is a 
great film," he says. You were expecting 
Debbie Does Dallas? — DAMO STINE 


VIDBITS 


Justin case you missed them on TV, Live 
Home Video has unleashed Nightmare 
Bay and The River of No Return, two 90- 
minute episodes ($14.98 each) that 
helped launch the jiggly series Baywatch. 
The double bill stars regulars David 
Hasselhoff and млувоув own Erika 
Eleniak as two of L.A.'s most rad life- 
guards. . . . Did you know that the New 
York subway system was actually com- 
pleted on time and within budget? 
These and other factoids highlight 
Subway: The Empire Beneath New York's 
Streets, АКЕ history of the Big Apple's 
underground—from original one-track 
charmer to today's 238-mile hellhole 
($19.95). . . . Also from A&E comes a spe- 
cial addition to the Biography series. 
Hillary Rodham Clinton: Changing the Rules 
follows you-know-who's rise to the you- 
know what House, despite continuing 
eruptions from God-knows-which bim- 
bo. Features interviews with firs-lady- 
faithful Betsey Wright and actress- 
turned-£o.b. Mary Steenburgen. 


VIDEO K.O. 


It's been a while since Sly resurrected 
Rocky. For home viewing with a punch, 
here's indown from the ring: 
Somebody Up There Likes Me (1956): What 
doesn't Stallone’s epic owe to this biopic 
20 Of legend Rocky Graziano? Paul New- 


man sealed his carcer playing the good- 
natured palooka who soared to mid- 
dleweight fame. Co-stars Sal Mineo and 
newcomer Steve McQueen. 

Requiem for a Heavyweight (1956): Live TV 
version of Rod Serling's moving tale of a 
washed-up boxer. Jack Palance scores as 
the gentle giant who Keeps his pride 
even as he goes down for the count. 
Raging Bull (1980): Scorsese-De Niro col- 
laboration turns the tawdry tale of 
prizefighter Jake La Motta into a work of 
art. Filmed in gritty black and white, 
with Bob putting on formidable pounds 
as the later La Motta. 

Chompion (1949): Kirk Douglas stars in 
this complex tale of a hotheaded fighter 
who messes with the Mob. Best for its 
fabulous Forties clichés—dry martini: 
cigarette smoke and lots of bleached- 
blonde dames sitting ringside. 

Body and Soul (1947): John Garfield plays 
the good-hearted but driven Charlie, a 
boxer in danger of losing his soul to the 
almighty dollar. Another postwar classic. 
The Great White Hope (1970): James Earl 
Jones plays turn-ofthe-century boxing 
great Jack Johnson, who comes to blows 
with bigotry on and off the canvas. From 
the Broadway play, it features Jane 
Alexander's screen debut. 

The Champ (1979): Jon Voight stars in 
this remake of the 1931 Wallace Beery 
classic about a boy who still believes in 
his has-been dad. A sobfest, with first- 
timer Ricky Schroder leading the tears 
parade. — ELIZABETH TIPPENS 


VIDEO OF 
THE MONTH 


Talk about behind- 
the-scenes peeks 
The newest install- 
ment of pLaveov's Wet 


8 Wild series gives 
you an exclusive 
look into The Locker 
Room, where ten 
Playmates prove that 
hitting the showers can indeed be a beau- 
tiful thing. To order, call 800-423-9494. 


LASER FARE 


The latest modern classic to hit disc: Rob 
Reiner's hilarious 1984 mockumentary, 
This Is Spinal Tap, has arrived in stores in a 
fancy Criterion Collection package from 
Voyager. Michael McKean, Christopher 
Guest and Harry Shearer join Reiner on 
the commentary tracks, and extras in- 
clude Tap music videos and production 
stills. . . . Also from Voyager: The World's 
Greatest Animation, a two-disc CAV set 
including the ten Academy Award- 
winning animated shorts from the past 
decade—plus five more nominees. In- 
dudes the Claymation "documentary" 
Creature Comforts, wherein zoo inhabi- 
tants muse on their lives. It’s a hoot. Or 
a roar. Or a—oh, never mind. You prob- 
ably blew that one in the Oscar pool, 
anyway. — GREGORY Р FAGAN 


Sirens (uptight clergymon Hugh Grant ond wife go down un. 
der to tame racy ortist; nude poser Elle Mocpherson deli 
ciously distracts), Blue [young French widow Juliette Binoche 
dogged by memories; sensuous, sad, subtitled). 


ART HOUSE 


THRILLER 


Mother’s Boys (prodigal mom Jamie Lee Curtis returns to 
make life rotten for ex-fomily; seriously dysfunctional stuff), 
The Wicker Man (cop Edward Woodward uncovers 
in Scotland; super 1973 sleeper repriced for sale). 


ituals 


Four Weddings and a Funeral (Grant ogain, here os Brit smit- 
ten with Yank Andie MocDowell during matrimony season; 
enchanting), Serial Mom (she cooks, she cleans, she kills— 
she’s Kathleen Turner, via tackmeister John Waters). 


11 mg. "tar", 0.8 mg. nicotine av. per cigarette by FTC method. 


A Im] (г? Brought to you by Camel Lights 


SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Quitting Smoking 
Now Greatly Reduces Serious Risks to Your Health. 


22 


STYLE 


BULLY WOOLLIES 


Last winter was brutal for many of us, so menswear designers 
have prepared for the elements this season with a lineup of 
fuzzy, oversize overcoats that are equally sharp on the streets 
and at the m. This new extra-warm outerwear has a 
bonus: It feels great, which means your dates will appreciate it 
as much as you do. Alpaca, a soft, 
fine wool from an animal related 
to the llama, is one of the more 
luxurious ways to go. With its 
simple lines and natural shoul- 
ders, Vestimenta's short alpaca 
topcoat ($800, shown here) is a 
versatile option, as is Salvatore 
Ferragamo's full-length double- 
breasted chocolate-brown al- 
paca version ($1055). For a tai- 
lored look, Joseph Abboud has 
updated the classic belted polo 
coat using a combination of 
wool, alpaca and mohair ($795). 
This animal attraction comes in 
other fibers and textures as well. 
Emporio Armani's camel-col- 
ored jacket is made of faux 
shearling ($575). And there's al- 
so a tan stadium coat in fuzzy 
wool with brown leather toggles, 
from Ermenegildo Zegna's EZ 
Collection ($695). 


FANCY FOOTWEAR 


Wearing a cool shirt isn't the only way to rev up a ba- 
sic tuxedo—great shoes go a long way, too. In- 
stead of the classic patent-leather look, for ex- q 
ample, consider Kenneth Cole's Lean ‘Iwo, 
a sleek, polished oxford with two eyelets 
($139). Salvatore Ferragamo's Academy, a 
black suede oxford with two gold equestri- 
an-rivet eyeholes ($285), is another clean, 
sharp shoe; the sophisticated silk lace-up 
and slip-on styles from To Boot by Adam 
Derrick ($225 and $195) are other stylish 
ways to go. For guys such as the hopeless- 
ly tardy Hugh Grant in Four Weddings and 

a Funeral who don't have time for laces, 
there are Susan Bennis Warren Edwards’ 
silk faille loafers immed in patent leather 
($495), sofi chenille slip-ons by Philippe 


practical types, Cole-Haan offers the Etude ($198), 
an all-patentleather loafer that also goes well with 
jeans, chinos and other casual pants 


HOT SHOPPING: NEW YORK’S 
EAST VILLAGE 


The hip street scene of the East Village (a-k.a. Alphabet City) 
includes pockets of cutting-edge fashion for those in the know. 


Check out these 
CLOTHES LINE 


underground stops: 
X-Large Store (151 
Ave. A: Co-owned Currently in favor with a new gener- 
by Beastie Boy Mike ation of fans, Tony Bennett has had 
D, this store's hap- 45 years to perfect his classic style 
pening streetwear in- of singing and dress- 
cludes oversize work ing. In fact, Bennett is 
pants and beefy wool so cool that during last 
jackets. ® Alphabets winter’s early-morning, 
(115 Ave. А): Cool, earthquake in Los An- 
geles, he joined robe- 
clad guests in his hotel 
lobby while wearing a 
Brioni suit. The croon- 
er recently added fin- 
ishing touches to his 
custom Brioni tux. He 
describes it as “sub- 
liminal and different,” 
because it has no satin 
lapels or stripes. Other Bennett fa- 
vorites; a navy Aquascutum of Lon 
don overcoat, Bally shoes and Yohji 
Yamamoto ties. "I don't make а 
move unless the tie is just right.” 


ks, French 
pocketknives and 
brightly printed silk 
ties and boxers by 
Gene Myer. ® Style 
Swami (70 E. Ist 
Street): Designer Al- 
pana Bawa artfully 
spins rich-hued Indi- 
an textiles into bold 
vests and embroi- 
dered reversible 

shirts. e Swish 
(115 St. Marks 
Place): Ameri- 
сап-тайс skatcboard- 


Аиспеса strectwcar, plus re- 


mixed DJ tapesand 


leos. * Jules (65 St. Marks Place): 


4 A French bistro with live jazz on Fridays and Saturdays. 


LIP SERVICE 


‘To keep your kisses moist this winter, keep lip balm 
handy. Among our favorites are the original Chap 
Stick—which was introduced in the 1880s—and 
the updated versions in cherry, orange, straw- 
berry and mint flavors (around $1). Blistex’ 
sweet-smelling Daily Conditioning Treatment 
ith aloe vera and cocoa butter comes in a 
; if you prefer a stick, Blistex offers Ultra 
Protection lip balm with SPF 30 (both about 
$2). The new Medicated Vaseline Lip Therapy 
($1.60) contains a number of medicinal in- 
gredients, sunflower-seed oil and vitamins to 
help soothe already-chapped lips. Kiehl's Lip 
Balm, which comes їп a tiny jar, is the favorite , 
among fashion models (about $3). And Ralp! 
еп even offers a designer SPF 15 Пр balm 


E T Е 


STYLES 


опна. 


DETAILS | 


Sports watches worn casually or with suits; 


Silver metols; uncluttered cream or 
blue faces; chronographs 


OUT 


evening looks worn by doy; 
faux antiques; clunky computer watches 


See-through or moon foces; digitol 
displays; clip-on colendars 


BANDS | 


Metal link; rubber; sharkskin or 
water-resistont leather 


Fake, embossed skins; surfer neons; 
loud printed fabrics or plastics 


Where & How fo Buy on poge 156. 


BUILT LIKE OUR 
05 ARMY KNIFE. 


MACY'S/BULLOCK'S _ 


TORSCHMER COUR SHELTON CT 


The Swiss Army? Brand \\ 
Chronograph, ali-steel 
Officers" and Officers" 
‘Two-Tone share the same 
heritage, and it shows. They 
look distinguished, but they're 
tough as nails. 

Water-resistant to 330 feet, 
they perform their tasks with 
split-second Swiss quartz 
precision accuracy. With 
tritium hands and markers 
for night. Bold easy-to-read 
numerals for day. And hard- 
ened mineral crystals to 
resist hard knocks. 

These watches are built to 
capture time. With a history 
that reaches back 100 years, 
they're tooled to last. 


SWISS 
ARMAY 


VIC GARBARINI 


we KNEW Bill Wyman wouldn't be on 
board for the Rolling Stones’ first album 
on their new label, but where is Keith 
Richards? On Voodoo Lounge (Virgin), his 
churning guitar, and with it, the elastic 
groove that has been the Stones’ heart- 
beat, have been tidied up and shoved in 
the background by co-producer Don 
Was. Nobody expected anything com- 
pelling at this late date, but it don't mean 
t ain't got that swing. And the 
Stones know it. In recent interviews, 
Keith questioned the need for a produc- 
er, while Mick even referred to the a 
bum's lack of groove. Trust your in- 
stincts, guys. When they do, as when 
Keith, Charlie and new bassist Darryl 
Jones get loose on the magnificent / Go 
Wild or the rumbling You Got Me Rocking, 
the result is the best music the Stones 
have made since Start Me Up, more than 
a decade ago. Elsewhere, ballads like Out 
of Tears show Jagger awkwardly attempt- 
ing to transcend 30 years of pouting and 
leering. For filty-somethings, the Stones 
prove they can get it up. Now they just 
have to remember what to do with it. 


rast curs: Virgin has also released 
eight Stones albums from the Seventi 
nicely remastered by Don Was, Feeling, 
rootsy? Try the somewhat overrated Exile 
оп Main Street, whose rawness anticipated 
punk. Or try Some Girls’ postpunk sim- 
plicity. You want compelling? Go directly 
to the vibrant Sticky Fingers. Feeling fru- 
gal? Wait for the inevitable boxed set. 


ROBERT CHRISTGAU 


Hipsters ridicule the Spin Doctors be- 
cause the band's members consider 
themselves to be hippies. But having the 
gall to sell 6 п copies of their debut 
album cant have helped. Despite the 
carping, their music is rarely annoying 
and often fun. Figure them as white bo- 
hemians doing for funk syncopation 
what the original hippies did for blues 
shuffle. On Turn It Upside Down (Epic), 
homely ditties such as Larabys Gang 
(about their diehard fans), Cleopatra's 
Cat (metaphysical pussy) and Hungry 
Hameds (breakfast) make up for the 
loose talk about large funky booties. 
Groove bands get а lot shallower than 
this one. 

Groove bands get a lot shallower than 
the funklite of El DeBarge, too. A 
decade ago, DeBarge was the smart 
choice for black pop's next great love- 
song man. lt didn't work out that way, 
but the likes of Babyface and Jermaine 
Dupri help his unreal tenor reclaim 


24 genius on Heart Mind 8 Soul (Reprise). 


Voodoo Lounge: The Stones roll again. 


Can the Stones still 
get it up? Motown remasters 
Marvin Gaye's greatest album. 


Read the lyric sheet and you'll suspect 
he’s a refugee from a grecting-card fac- 
tory. Listen to him sing those same 
words and you could find yourself 
falling in love and digging a groove. 


FAST CUTS: Recorded in the Forties and 
Fifties, Slim Gaillard's Laughing in Rhythm: 
The Best of the Verve Years (Verve) is the 
hep, hilarious testament of jazz’ greatest 
comedian. If the words Flat Foot Floogie 
mean nothing, you're missing out. 

Etta James’ Mystery Lady: Songs of Billie 
Holiday (Private Music) is torch music 
that does more for Billie's reputation 
than it does for that of Ема, her often 
misguided devotee. 


CHARLES M. YOUNG 


If you don't follow underground mu- 
sic, you may remember Killing Joke only 
from the chant-rock gem Eighties, which 
was a minor hit and by far the hardest 
sound on MTV in its softer, formative 
years. That was as close as Joke came to 
success in the States, but in its 15-year 
history, the band has created a consider- 
able body of raging punk and industrial 
rock that has been pillaged for riffs by 
more commercially successful bands, 
such as Ministry and Nirvana. On its 
tenth album, Pandemonium (Zoo), Killing 
Joke combines the relentless drum-ma- 
chine thunder of Ministry with the 
moaning trance of Led Zeppelin circa 


When the Levee Breaks. Bass play 
producer Youth has spent a lot of time 
producing dance music suitable for 
raves (the Orb, Brilliant), and he sets up 
a groove here that nails you for more 
than an hour. Guitarist Geordie Walker 
packs so much crunch into his licks that 
Kellogg's should spray him on corn- 
flakes. Singer Jaz Coleman does the 
punk catharsis thing as well as anyone 
now howling, though his lyrics offer a 
good deal more hope than, say, Nine 
Inch Nails’. And all of them have an ap- 
preciation for Middle Eastern scales that 
gives the whole project a wonderfully 
eerie quality. Better than coffee when 
you want to wake up. 


Fast CUTS: Bebe Buell, Retrosexual (Sky- 


* dog): With the possible exception of 


Marilyn Monroe, Buell gets my vote for 
coolest Playmate, here creating an early 
punk sound as brutal and raw as any- 
thing by her famous ex-boyfriends 
Steven Tyler and Stiv Bators. Buell growls 
and screams with authentic intimidation 
as she looks back in anger (and hilarity) 
ata very full rock-and-roll life. Little Bit o” 
Whore rates as one of the great anthems 
of relationships under capitalism. 


DAVE MARSH 


The newly remastered version of Mar- 
vin Gaye's What’s Going On (Motown) is 
really the greatest album ever made. 
Quite simply, this record not only re- 
mains unsurpassed but also contains sev- 
eral elements against which today's post- 
soul music can still be measured: The 
nonpareil lightness of Marvin's soulful 
voice, Dave Van dePitte's sumptuous yet 
understated arrangements, the brilliant 
way in which the tracks have been inter- 
woven and the stark and cogent use of 
social issues as metaphors. 

What's Going On re-cmerges accompa- 
nied by Саусз other Seventics albums 
on the four-disc box Marvin Gaye Classics 
Collection. Remastering even redeems his 
postmarital epic, Here My Dear. The sct 
includes the great coitus opera Let's Get 
It On, the definitive soundtrack Trouble 
Man, the edge-of-coherent 1 Want Юи, 
and an album of rarities, Love-Starved 
Heart. Because it's new, Love-Starved 
Heart may make the deepest impres- 
sion—though nothing, not even What's 
Going On, cuts a sensually deeper groove 
than Let's Get It On. Love-Starved Heart re- 
minds us that, when What's Going On 
came out, Gaye probably ranked as the 
most underrated soul man of the Sixties. 
These outtakes and throwaways suggest 
how great Gaye had already become be- 
fore he made his masterpieces. Working 
within the restrictions of Motown, he 


found his greatness harnessed. But 
while he became even better once he'd 
spit the bit, Marvin Gaye's magic shone 
even under Berry Gordy Jr. As much as 
anyone this side of James Brown, he 
sowed the seeds that gave us Seal, Ter- 
ence Trent D'Arby and even Prince and 
Snoop Doggy Dogg—an entire future, 
marked by his tragic absence. 


FAST CUTS: Keb’ Mo” (Okeh): A real find. 
A neo-country bluesman who possesses 
the energy, sass and invention of early 
Taj Mahal. 

Heart and Soul: The Hank Crawford Anthol- 
egy (Rhino/Atlantic): An aptly titled as- 
semblage of the greatest tracks by the 
most sonorous soul-jazz sax player of 
them all. Perfect grooves with the blues 
at their heart. 

War, Peace Sign (Rhino/Avenue): The 
world remains a ghetto and War remains 
one of its truest and loveliest voices, 
from the dense, angry groove of the title 
track to the doo-wop of East Los Angeles. 


NELSON GEORGE 


House of Pain has returned with a 
flavorful second album titled Same As it 
Ever Was (Tommy Boy). There isn'tan ob- 
vious hit like Jump Around in this collec- 
tion, but its 15 tracks are rock soli 
Chief rapper Everlast is in fine, furious 
form with a roaring delivery that chews 
up lyrics with gusto. Typical of the al- 
bum's aggressive stance are Over There 
Shit and Runnin’ Up on Ya, on which 
Everlast impressively rips through his 
rhymes. Underground rapper and pro- 
ducer Diamond D flows beautifully with 
Everlast on Word Is Bond. Most of these 
rough and rugged tracks were created 
by Lethal, with some additional produc- 
tion work by Cypress Hills’ D.J. Muggs. 
Allin all, Same As It Ever Was is one of the 
year’s best, rap or otherwise. 


rast cuts: The promising folksinger 
Jeffrey Gaines has an innocent tenor 
voice and a heartfelt, though occasional- 
ly overwrought, way with metaphors. 
Somewhat Slightly Dazed (Chrysalis/EMI) 
suggests the tone of his bemused writing 
style. Live, Gaines usually accompanies 
himself on guitar, so the full band 
arrangements on some of these songs 
scem to confine him. Still, Safety in Self, 
Talent for Surrender and Elliot reveal 
Gaines' continuing growth as an artist. 

Des'ree is a silky voiced, socially con- 
scious О.К. songstress who checks in 
with a competent second album, 1 Aint 
). The arrangements may 
seem a little too pop for the mainstream 
adult soul audience that she's after, but 
Des'ree's strong performances of Crazy 
Maze, Feel So Good (a cover of a Perri Sis- 
ters song) and the title track should help 
her find US. fans. 


LAST CHANTS DEPARTMENT: And you 
thought only the monks were making 
a mint chanting? Did you get Rhino 
Records’ Chantmania? Recorded by 
the Benzedrine Monks, its an EP of 
chanted versions of R.E.M/s Losing My 
Religion as well as Do Ya Think Гт Sexy, 
(Theme from) The Monkees and Smells 
Like Teen Spirit. Smells a lot like Weird 
Alto us. 

REELING AND ROCKING: Fox TV is re- 
portedly working on an unauthorized 
film bio of Madonne's early years, from 
her arrival in New York in 1978 up to 
the success of Like a Virgin. . . . Speak- 
ing of Madonna, she has expressed 
interest in the starring role in Mob 
Girl, the autobiography of Arlyne Brick- 
men, who first hung with the Mafia, 
then turned states' evidence. Rumor 
has it Marisa Tomei and Demi Moore also 
are interested in the part. . . . A Stones 
concert film with a story line is being 
worked out with director Ben Stiller, 
Stiller and Brad Pin would appear in 
the film as two fans following the 
band, hoping to get backstage. 
Look for Marianne Faithfull on film in 
Moondance, playing an anthropologist. 
Her autobiography is due any day 
and a new album will be in the stores 
in January. . . . Billy Idol's slated to play 
the villain in The Hostage City. 

NEWSBREAKS: Chicago's Tony award- 
winning Steppenwolf Theater Co. has 
opened its season with a musical 
adaptation of A Clockwork Orange. Mu- 
sic director and percussionist William 
Schworz will present the Third Coast 
String Quartet, along with Jeff Bek on oil 
drums, saw blades, water jugs and 
hidden synthesizers. If youre in 
Chicago before October 30, check it 
out. . .. A U.S. college tour featuring 
several of the artists on Rock the 
Vote's CD Propaganda: The New Voice 
in Alternative Music will have a nation- 
al act headlining. . . . Look for Carleen 


Anderson’s debut album, True Spirit. 
Why? She's the goddaughter of the 
Godfather of Soul, James Brown. . . . Ru- 
Paul is recording a new album and will 
do some ballads this time. . . . Robbie 
Robertson is working on the sound- 
track fora documentary on American 
Indians and writing songs with Eric 
Clapton. He'll be producing Clapton's 
next album, due out next year. . . . 
Cracker has recorded When the Levee 
Breaks for the forthcoming Led Zep 
tribute album. . . . Mary J. Blige's зес- 
ond album is expected before the 
year ends. . . . Shado Art Productions, 
currently out of Columbus, Ohio, is 
bringing large, stylized arena shows 
back down to reasonable size. It calls 
its productions performance rock. 
The current work-in-progress, Evolu- 
tion, will premiere in Cleveland next 
spring and then tour the New York 
club scene. If the show catches on, 
you may sce it in a club near you. . 

For a piece of Michael Jackson’s past, 
keep on the lookout for Big Boy, the 
first record he ever made. It has been 
rereleased in a limited edition, and for 
$30 you'll get a CD, a cassette and a 
song history. . . . Babyface, Jimmy Jam and 
Terry Lewis are all working on the next 
Boyz Il Men album, which is due this 
fall . Another fall release, a two- 
disc, 40-plus song compilation of Steve 
Goodman's music, is being readied. It 
will include live tracks, demos and 
other rarities. . . . Ann and Nancy Wil- 
son, who used to cover Led Zeppelin 
songs in the early days of Heart, are 
now working with John Paul Jones on 
recording a live acoustic album. . 

Digable Planets’ sophomore album is 
due any day. . . . Finally, Ted Nugent 
was named to Michigan's Internation- 
al Year of the Family Council by Gov- 
ernor John Engler. Says Nugent, “Now 
there’s an F-word we can all be proud 
of.” Please, Ted. —ВАКВАКА NELLIS 


25 


How refreshingly distinctive. 


“Mr. Jenkins finds the nightclub a welcome 
change from the country club. And when shaking 
his groove thing, he sips refreshing T&Ts." 


28 


JAZZ 


By NEIL TESSER 


HEIRS APPARENT 


LIKE MOST young musicians, trumpeter 
Wallace Roney and saxophonist Joshua 
Redman—two of the hottest players in 
jazz today—have to fight the inevitable 
comparisons to their mentors. Take 
Roney, told by no less than Miles Davis, 
“You play all my stuff perfectly.” In fact, 
Roney has re-created 

the Davis sound for 
various projects. His 
new Mistérios quite 
consciously updates 
Miles’ Brazilian-fla- 
vored Quiet Nights of 
three decades ago. 

Roney thinks he 
has found the bal- 
ance. "I'm grateful to 
Miles. He's the rea- 
son I'm playing, the reason jazz is where 
it’s at. But I don't like it when critics turn 
that into a negative. I try to be a for- 
ward-thinking player. That's what I 
loved about Miles.” 

Tenor sax man 
Joshua Redman isn't 
one for comparisons, 
either. “The last thing 
14 want is to be 
known as “the next 
whoever,” he says. “I 
could never live up to 
that. I do think I have 
my own voice.” 

Some of the scru- 
tiny regarding Joshua stems from his fa- 
thers fame. Tenorist Dewey Redman 
starred with both Ornette Coleman and 
Keith Jarrett. “I never lived with Dewey, 
so his music influenced me from afar. 
But I would still be a fan of his work, 
even had I been Joshua Jones,” says 
Redman fis—who in 1991 graduated 
Phi Beta Kappa and summa cum laude 
from Harvard. 

Are there extramusical benefits of 
sudden fame? Redman admits а “pletho- 
ra ol opportunities has changed, if not 
improved” his sex life. Says Roney, 
steeped in his musical mission: "I can't 
even think about that.” 


REDMAN 


NEW RELEASES 


‘The lush backgrounds and hothouse 
melodies of Wallace Roney's Mistérios 
(Warner) embrace his most romantic 
trumpetingto date. The strong Brazilian 
influence helps restrain the rarefied 
melodies. Mostly it works—to the extent 
that Roney can stick to the spirit of Miles 
Davis without mimicking Davis’ style. 
Labelmate Joshua Redman is more his 
own man on Mood Swing. Last year he 


led an all-star group featuring Pat 
Metheny. This disc finds his new quartet 
working out on tunes that range from 
bluesy bop to free jazz. It also boasts his 
most impassioned solos yet. 

Another great young player, saxo- 
phonist David Sanchez, a 26-year-old 
native of Puerto Rico, takes an impres- 
sive bow with The Departure (Columbia). 
The album makes good use of the Pana- 
manian pianist Danilo Perez, whose own 
new album—the splendidly conceived 
and deeply fathomed Journey (Novus)— 
returns the favor by placing Sanchez in 
the spotlight. Both players worked in 
Dizzy Gillespie's last band, and they rep- 
resent a new breed of Latin-jazz musi- 
cians who are equally at home in their 
unadulterated native music and in the 
postbop mainstream 

In his own way, pianist Eddie Palmieri 
helped pave the way for such artists. In- 
spired by Bud Powell and McCoy Tyner, 
Palmieri had convincingly grafted jazz 
onto his innovative Cuba-Rican key- 
board style by the mid-Sixties. But Pal- 
mas (Elektra/Nonesuch) takes the full 
plunge, with a quartet of percussionists 
and athree-horn line patterned after Art 
Blakey's Jazz Messengers. The format, 
reduced from Palmieri's salsa big band, 
makes his own message all the clearer. 


Maybe you think 
it’s too early to think 
obout the holiday 
season. But the record companies 
don't—they're marketing multidisc 
boxed sets now. We've done some ad- 
vonce perusing for you, and the follow- 
ing three sets stand out: 

The Complete Bud Powell on Verve re- 
opens the window on 
1he principol architect 
of bebop piano—and 
one of the most trou- 
bled artists of the cen- 
tury. Just 16 when he 
arrived on the jaz 


scene, Powell quickly 


odapted the new 

sounds of Charlie 

Porker and Dizzy Gil- 

lespie to the key- 

board. But his power- 

ful attock ond complex 

logic forged с style 

all his own, which to- 

doy stonds equol to 

those of both Gillespie ond Porker. 
Powell suffered from a degenerative 

psychiatric condition, ond mony of the 

later trocks here lack the -hot in- 

tensity of his debut. But this five-CD set 

still contains plenty of miracles, ond the 

innovative liner notes offer unexpected 


HOLIDAY 
SETS 


Another Latin-jazz grad, Chick Corea, 
wenton to master a bewildering array of 
styles and idioms. On Expressions (GRP) 
he returns to the solo piano format for 
the first time in 23 years, with spectacu- 
lar results. On a dozen standards, Corea 
leads with his left: The bass lines drive as 
never before, and his playful improvisa- 
tions now have jaw-dropping heft. More 
solo piano wizardry distinguishes Sir Ro- 
land Hanna, volume 32 in Concord Rec- 
ords' Maybeck Recital series. No pianist 
has a surer grasp of the solo idiom, or of 
the keyboard as a little orchestra. 

On The Underground Roilroad to My Heart 
(Soul Note), baritone saxist Fred Ho digs 
deeper in his quest to unite jazz with his 
Asian roots. He finds pay dirt. You can 
also choose between two strong albums 
by the World Saxophone Quartet: Breath 
of Life (Elekıra/Nonesuch), which adds 
vocals and organ to explore reggae and 
blues, and Moving Right Along (Black 
Saint), which jumps with naked power. 

Finally, Mose Allison returns on The 
Earth Wants You (Blue Note). His drawling 
vocals and hyperkinetic piano solos 
sound like they did in the Fifties. But his 
recent advance into senior citizenry now 
spurs his sardonic commentary and 
makes the title song a lot darker than it 
first appears. 


insights. (As the set's 
title suggests, you'll 
find every false start 
and busted take Powell did for Verve, so 
keep your CD remote control handy.) 
Another five-CD box gothers The Com- 
plete Solid State Recordings of the Thad 
Jones/Mel Lewis Orchestra, which 25 
yeors ago won kudos for the originolity 
of Jones’ опопде- 
ments. If today the 
songs sound at ай 
dated, blame the 
many subsequent big- 
band writers who 
hove borrowed so ex- 
tensively from them. 
These dates form the 
heart of the band's 
legocy. Their reissue 
reflects the usual high 
standards of Mosaic 
Records (35 Melrose 
Ploce, Stamford, Con- 
necticut 06902). 
When Joe Hender- 
son storted winning Grommys, fans ar- 
gued thot the awards were long over- 
due. The Milestone Years (Milestone) 
confirms this. The year’s second big 
Henderson reissue, its eight CDs troce 
the tenorist's explorotion of rock and 
world-music elements in the Seventies. 


SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Quitting Smoking 
Now Greatly Reduces Serious Risks to Your Health. 


30 


WIRED 


EPCOT SHARES THE FUTURE 


‘Techno junkies eager to get their hands 
on gadgetry of the future will want to 
check out Innoventions, the newest at- 
traction at Epcot in Lake Buena Vista, 
Florida. Officially open to the public this 
past September, the 100,000-square-foot. 
venture offers visitors the opportunity to 
experience the latest in computer, televi- 
sion, virtual reality, home automation 
and automotive technology. Many of the 
items on display are prototypes of prod- 
ucts that will be available in two to three 
years. You can test a Dick Tracy-type 
wrist phone by AT&T, for example, as 
well as computer systems by Apple and 
IBM and current and future video 
games by Sega. Other initial participants 
in the venture include General Electric, 
General Motors and Oracle (a software 
company that will give novices an intro- 
duction to the information superhigh- 


way). Products and exhibits are expect- 
ed to change every six months to reflect 
the latest advancements. That includes 
Disney's own Innoventions attraction—a 
virtual reality ride aboard Aladdin's 
magic carpet. 


LOOK, UP IN THE SKY 


It may sound too good to be true, but 
you'll soon be able to talk with friends, 
family or colleagues anywhere in the 
world by simply calling them on your 
pocket phone. Iridium, пс. a compa- 
ny backed by 14 major investment 
groups—including Motorola, Sprint and 
Bell Canada—plans to launch 66 satel- 
lites that will link a worldwide network 
of portable phones, computers, fax ma- 
chines and pagers as well as—get this— 
solar-powered telephone booths. The 
$3.4 billion wireless communications sys- 
tem, which is expected to begin com- 
mercial services in 1998, “will move the 
world into the 21st century,” according 
to Inidium’s John Windolph. In addition 
to allowing for communications Бе- 


tween future wireless devices and exist- 
ing cellular and standard phones, Iridi- 
um's low earth orbit (or Big Leo) satel- 
lites will have the power to interface with 
one another, handing off conversations 
when they drift out of a caller's range. 
For those of you already packing a 
portable, that means no more roaming 
codes—a convenience that won't come 
cheap. The first-generation of Iridium 
phones will be priced near $2500, with 
calls costing as much as $3 per minute. 


DOOM’S DAY 


Since it exploded onto 
the computer scene a 
year ago, Doom has be- 
come the most popular 
PC game in the coun- 
try. Robin Williams and 
Steven Spielberg are 
rumored to be Doom 
enthusiasts. Some cor- 
porations have had to 
crack down on em- 
ployees who tie up 
company computers 
with their Doomfests 
There's even talk ofa movie. So what is 
Doom? It's an ultraviolent, demons-ver- 
sus-good-guys game with some amazing 
graphics. Whereas computer 
once were limited to jerky, two-dimen- 
sional, comic-book imagery, Doom's 
programmers developed animation 
techniques that put players in smoothly 


scenes 


Peoples Telephone Co., Ployboy Phone 
Cords ore available in volues of $10, $20 
and $35. To use one, dial on 800 access 
number from any touch-tone phone, en- 
ler your personal ID code ond then 
place your local, domestic or interna- 
tional call. € American Power Con- 
version has come up with a cool way 
to stash the unsightly cords from 
your computer, printer, modem, 
CD-ROM drive, etc. Colled the 
Power Manager, it's a $120 desk- 
top accessory that looks like an 
oversize portable CD player— 
complete with o flip-up lid. On 
the front of the lid are 
buttons that power all of 
your equipment; beneath it 
is enough storoge space to 
hold cords from up to five com- 
puter peripherals. The Power Monag- 
er also offers surge protection and 
comes with a lifetime guarantee. 


flowing virtual worlds with depth and 
perspective (as well as death and de- 
struction). In an equally smooth market 
ing play, the first module of the game 
was offered as shareware (free software) 
over the Internet, giving it extensive 
distribution estimated to be in the mil- 
lions. (You can still pick up Doom in 
/pub/msdos/games/id at fip.uwp.edu on 
the Internet, or in the Gamers Forum on 
Compuserve.) “With Doom we were just 
cutting our teeth,” says Jay Wilbur, busi- 


ness manager of Id, Doom's developer. 
Id will release Doom Пап retail stores in 


October, with an impressive 500,000- 
unit preorder, Id promises more realis- 
tic, bloody action as it continues to hone 
computer graphics. In fact, you'll find its 
next shareware offering, Quake, on the 
Net next year. 


онно ——— 


Because prepaid phone cards ore becoming a hot collectible, we've introduced our 
own slick versions featuring imoges such as the Playmates-in-the-phone-booth photo 
that appeared on the cover of our October 
1993 issue. Developed in conjunction with 


ааа, | 


WHERE & НОМ TO BUY ON РАСЕ 156 


WITH OUR HUNDRED DISC 


= y CHANGER, YOU COULD 
LISTEN TO MUSIC FOR FIVE 
STRAIGHT DAYS WITHOUT е 
REPEATING A SINGLE SONG. 
BUT 15 THAT A GOOD THING? 
туў 
E Vf fe 
NER 
а 

А; > 2 


Nonstop music for the better part of a week may be a little extreme, we admit. But its entirely possible with Pioneer's new 


100 Disc CD Player. The changer that stores all of your CDs in a regular rack space and gives you instant access to any song on 


any disc. In fact, all you'll ever need to touch is the remote. It lets you cue up individual tracks, and even create customized banks of 


songs or disce, So до be getting to more of your music than ever before. Just don't blow off eating, sleeping and bathing regularly 


PIONEER 
е Art of Entertainment 


By DIGBY DIEHL 


зам OBRIEN із one of our most eloquent 
chroniclers of Vietnam. In his novel Go- 
ing After Cacciato, which won a National 
Book Award, and in books such as /f 1 
Die in a Combat Zone and The Things They 
Carried, he has conjured up war imagery 
that burns. His powerful novel In the Lake 
of the Woods (Houghton Mifflin/Seymour 
Lawrence) follows the war home. 

O'Brien's protagonist, John Wade, 
returns from the war with symptoms 
of posttraumatic stress disorder: night 
sweats, flashbacks, nightmares, emotion- 
al outbursts and alcoholism. But he mar- 
ries his college sweetheart, gocs through 
law school and establishes himself in 
Minnesota politics. He does not talk 
about the war. When he's 43, the polls 
show him to be close to winning election 
to the U.S. Senate. Then his darkest se- 
cret—one he has managed to hide from 
his wife and even the Army—makes the 
headlines: Wade was one of 105 men un- 
der the command of Lieutenant William 
Calley in the Vietnamese village of My 
Lai on March 16, 1968, 

After a humiliating defeat in the elec- 
tion shatters his career, Wade retreats 
with his wife to a cottage on the edge of 
Lake of the Woods in northern Minneso- 
та Twa days later, «Ве disappears De- 
spite a search effort that lasts for weeks, 
no trace of her can be found, and sus; 
cion turns to Wade. As he sorts through 
the alcoholic blur of the night before his 
wife's disappearance, he is not certain of 
his innocence. He can't remember. 

What he does remember in horrifying 
detail are the screams of women and 
children as they were pushed into ditch- 
es and shot at My Lai. 

Although much of In the Lake of the 
Woods takes place in the tormented mind 
of John Wade. the action of the novel is 
periodically interrupted by chapters of 
“Evidence,” as if to separate reality from 
nightmare. These chapters consist of 
brief quotations from the My Lai court- 
martial, fictional statements from Wade's 
mother, portions of the police record 
and relevant citations from literature. De- 
spite what Wade did, he is portrayed as a 
tortured human being, not a monster. 

The mountain of books written about 
Elvis Presley since his death 17 years ago 
would seem to preclude anything of sub- 
stance being added to his story. There 
certainly are no startling revelations in 
Joe Esposito's Good Rockin’ Tonight—Twenty 
Years on the Road and on the Town With El- 
vis (Simon & Schuster), but Presley's for- 
mer road manager (along with Elena 
Oumano) offers a straightforward, inti- 
mate portrait that rings truer than any- 
thing we have read yet. Elvis is here with 


32 all his infidelities, appetites, generosity, 


O'Brien's In the Lake of the Woods. 


Vietnam's legacy in fiction, wild 
nights with the Memphis Mafia and 
the spy who came in from the cold. 


talent and capriciousness; he is a man 
filled with contradictions 

Highlights of this memoir include 
tales of wild nights with the Memphis 
Mafia, Elvis’ courtship of Priscilla, his ex- 
perimentation with LSD and his bizarre 
trip to meet with President Richard 
Nixon in the White House. But Esposi- 
to's unvarnished, detailed description of 
Elvis death provides a sobering end to 
ide with the King. He sums up his 
friend as a good man who was “caught 
up in a world that few of us could navi- 
gate successfully.” 

Two new reports from the Cold War 
shed light on some shadowy areas. Ben 
Rich, former head of the secret technol- 
ogy team that developed the U-2 spy 
plane and the F-117A Stealth bomber, 
tells amazing stories in Skunk Works: A Per- 
sonal Memoir of My Years at Lockheed (Little, 
Brown) with the help of Leo Janos. 
As the CIAs unofficial “toymakers.” 
Rich and about 150 designers and tech- 
nicians provided technomarvels that 
have helped maintain American military 
dominance to this day. For example, 
Rich notes in a surprising postscript that 
although the public thought the U-2 
program died when Gary Powers was 
shot down, there has not been a day 
since 1956 that the U.S. has not had U-2 
surveillance flights somewhere. 

David Corn has done an impressive 
job of penetrating the intelligence com- 
munity for Blond Ghost: Ted Shackley and 
the CIA's Crusades (Simon & Schuster). 


Shackley's almost 30-year career as a spy 
spanned most of the Cold War, and he 
was in the thick of covert action around 
the globe. He recruited spies in Ger- 
many in the Fifties, waged a secret war 
against Cuba for the Kennedy brothe 
supported U.S. military and political ef- 
forts in Laos and Vietnam and helped 
topple Allende in Chile. This is an entic- 
ing tale of one man’s cloak-and-dagger 
life, which Corn suggests is symbolic of 
the АВ pervasive influence. 


BOOK BAG 


North of Montana (Knopf), by April 
Smith: A highly touted novel—with good 
reason—about a female FBI agent in Los 
Angeles. Ana Grey solves a high-profile 
drug case while battling the male bu- 
reaucracy in this witty, well-written debut 

1000 Great Guitarists (GPI Books), by 
Hugh Gregory: A comprehensive guide 
to the world’s finest guitar players, in- 
duding memorabilia, discographies and 
biographies of artists Ry Cooder, B.B. 
King, Jimi Hendrix and 997 others 

Soldier of the Year: The Story of a Gay Amer- 
ican Patriot (Pocket Books), by José Zuni- 
ga: A sergeant chronicles his experiences 
in the Army—and the hypocrisy and ho- 
mophobia that drove him out 

How Computers Work (70 Press), by Ron 
White: How Microprocessors Wark (71) 
Press), by Gregg Wyant and Tucker 
Hammerstrom: The hows and whys of 
computers and microprocessors are 
dearly explained for the average con- 
sumer and for the avid techie. 

Job Shift: How to Prosper in a Workplace 
Without Jobs (Addison-Wesley), by Wil- 
liam Bridges: The guidebook for work 
in the 21% century when jobs—as we 
know them—will no longer exist and 
when the only route to success will be to 
make our careers self-manageable. 

Beyond Uhura: Star Trek and Other Mem- 
ories (Putnam's), by Nichelle Nichols: 
Lieutenant Uhura of the Starship Enter- 
prise jumps on the tell-all Trekkie book 
bandwagon that William Shatner start- 
ed with his behind-the-scenes memoir. 
Nichols says the media hyped her off 
screen relationship with Star Tiek creator 
Gene Roddenberry. 

The Complete Book of Beer Drinking Games, 
Revised & Expanded (Mustang), by Andy 
Griscom, Ben Rand and Scott Johnston: 
This classic is your guide to raucous fun. 

Fear of Fifty (HarperCollins), by Erica 
Jong: A fearless and witty autobiograph- 
ical memoir that is also a philosophical 
guide to women in the Nineties 

The Graham Greene Film Reader: Reviews, 
Essays, Scripts & Letters (Applause), edited 
by David Parkinson: No novelist under- 
stands movies better, as one can guess 
from his screenplay for The Third Man 


The Richness of Red. Magnified. 


FITNESS 


D о you worry about your weight? 
Most people do. In our culture, 
flab isn't just considered ugly, it's widely 
believed to be a sign of some shameful 
character flaw. Doctors, though they 
mean well, contribute to fat anxiety by 
bombarding us with grim warnings that 
obesity leads to heart disease, cancer and 
early death. The upshot is that dieting is 
big business. Americans spend an esti- 
mated $40 billion every year on weight- 
loss books, products and services. 

In the opinion of a small but growing 
number of medical authorities, most of 
that money is wasted. For the majority of 
people, diets don't work. In fact, dieting 
usually does more harm than good. 
We've ай seen the trimmed-down Oprah 
Winfrey, Tommy Lasorda and Kathleen 
Sullivan on television, offering their 
newly reduced selves as proof that 
shucking unwanted pounds is simply a 
matter of coming up with the cash for 
the latest miracle diet. But what wonder- 
diet promoters don't tell us—what until 
recently nobody had told us—is that 
within three years, 70 percent of dieters 
gain back every pound they had man- 
aged to lose. Within ten years that num- 
ber jumps to 95 percent. “If you consid- 
er only the short-term data,” says Dr. 
Michael Schwartz, an endocrinologist at 
the Seattle Veterans Affairs Medical Cen- 
ter, “the success rate of weight-loss ther- 
apy doesn't look so bad. But long-term 
studies clearly show that the weight in- 
evitably comes back.” 

And the fault, dear Brutus, is not in 
our stars, but in our cells. Like height or 
skin pigment or eye color, adiposity (sci- 
entific lingo for fatness) is genetically 
determined. Whenever you attempt to 
weigh less—or, for that matter, more— 
than your chromosomes have decreed 
you should weigh, your body takes steps 
to restore the natural order. As soon as a 
dieter's weight drops by more than four 
or five percent (seven to nine pounds for 
a 180-pound person), the brain detects a 
subtle change in blood chemistry and 
prompts the central nervous system to 
alter the metabolism: Fewer calories are 
burned, the body starts building stores 
of fat and the dieter develops an over- 
whelming craving for french fries and 
hot fudge sundaes. 

Karl Kaiyala, a researcher who studies 
adiposity with Dr. Schwartz, explains 
that when it comes to weight, “The 


By JON KRAKAUER 


WHY DIETS 
DON’T WORK 


body's regulatory system is incredibly ro- 
bust. As soon as you start consuming 
fewer calories, your body compensates 
by slowing its metabolic rate, conserving 
fat and nagging you to put food in your 
stomach. The brain works hard to de- 
fend a characteristic level of body fat; it is 
extremely difficult to fight it. That's why 
dieters dream about food, why they can't 
stop thinking about itand why many of 
them eventually succumb to binge-cat- 
ing patterns.” 

It’s important to note that, though the 
body goes to great lengths to maintain a 
target weight range, that target isn't con- 
stant: Between the ages of 20 and 50, the 
average person's natural weight will 
crease by ten to 20 pounds. The body is 
so determined to maintain its target 
weight that not even radical measures 
such as liposuction or the surgical reduc- 
tion of the stomach are apt to diminish 
avoirdupois over the long haul. “Most 
people don't realize it,” Kaiyala points 
out, “but when fat is suctioned out surgi- 
cally, sooner or later it will come back. It 
won't necessarily return to the same 
place, but the total level of body fat will 
eventually be restored.” 

Schwartz is troubled by the fact that 
too many physicians, failing to acknowl- 
edge the futility of weight-reduction 
programs, hector obese patients to “get 


their acts together” and embark on am- 
bitious diets. “For 40 years studies have 
shown that adiposity is biologically regu- 
lated and thus largely beyond an indi- 
vidual's control,” he says. “The evidence 
is irrefutable, but many doctors ignore 
it. They continue to recommend unreal- 
istic weight-loss therapy, which makes 
patients feel ashamed and guilty when 
the weight comes back. And in the 
process these doctors are enriching an 
enormous industry that capitalizes on 
the obese. It's time for us, the medical 
community, to get our act together.” 

Failed diets do more than erode self- 
esteem. A number of recent cpidemi 
logical studies suggest that men who en- 
gage in yo-yo dicting—losing weight 
only to gain it back—have significantly 
higher rates of heart disease, high blood 
pressure and diabetes than nondieters 
who maintain a steady, if hefty, weight. 
Such studies, says Schwartz, “have dem- 
onstrated that marked weight loss and 
weight cycling are associated with a 40 to 
60 percent increase in mortality.” 

Staying fat, in other words, may be 
healthier than trying—and very often 
failing—to trim down. This is especially 
true if you tend to carry your excess 
flesh in your hips, butt and thighs rather 
than around your midriff. Overweight 
people with bottom-heavy, pear-shaped 
bodies have been shown to suffer fewer 
obesity-related health problems than 
overweight people who carry their bulk 
higher, around the belly. 

If you are overweight, Schwartz em- 
phasizes that "you shouldn't simply 
throw up your hands and say, ‘What the 
hell. There’s nothing I can do to control 
my weight, so I might as well eat whatev- 
er I want.’ That's not the answer.” 

What is the answer? “Eat as much as 
your hunger dictates,” suggests Kaiyala, 
“but make an attempt to consume fewer 
high-fat foods. Start a sustainable exer- 
cise program that meshes realistically 
with your lifestyle—one that you'll actu- 
ally stick to. And pay no attention to the 
bathroom scale: Your weight will stabi- 
lize wherever it wants to. By cutting 
some of the fat from your diet and exer- 
cising regularly, you'll feel better and 
you'll probably live longer. You might 
even lose six or eight pounds. Just don't 
expect to lose much more than that” 


5 
H 
8 


4711 ORIGINAL Eau DE COLOGNE. 

DRENCH YOUR BODY IN THE LIGHT, NATURAL REFRESHER. 
FEEL RELAXED. ..STIMULATED... INVIGORATED. 

THE EUROPEAN TRADITION THAT'S AS FRESH AS TOMORROW. 


© 1994 Richard Barri Fragran 


36 


MEN 


f you ranked the secret fears of men, 

you would find common anxieties 
among us. We arc not fond of dying pre- 
maturely, for example. Or of losing cus- 
tody of our children in divorce court. 
Or of being rejected sexually by our sig- 
nificant others. 

But at the top of my list of manly trep- 
idations are two items that can move my 
lecherous litle heart into genuine ar- 
rhythmia. First, I never want to get a 
woman pregnant unless we both agree 
to it. Second, I do not want to die of 
AIDS. (It's common knowledge that 
AIDS is also a problem in the heterosex- 
ual community.) Those are probably my 
two biggest fears, and I have had fright- 
ening and enlightening experiences 
with both of them. 

Here are a couple of true war stories 
that may help you remember to wear a 
condom every time you have sex. I 
maintain that the man who fucks with- 
out a condom Ка fucking fool And Tean 
prove it. 

A few years back, | found myself 
squinting at everything I tried to read, 
so I decided to get checked out by an 
ophthalmologist. 1 found a doctor with 
an office near my home and made an ap- 
pointment. We met, shook hands, made 
some small talk, he put drops in my eyes 
and the tests began. 

“You have a tear in your right retina,” 
he said. “Have you been hit hard on the 
head or something?” 

I laughed. “Well, 1 boxed for a lot of 
years. And I got bounced around in the 
Marine Corps, So, yes, I have been hit 
hard on the head. A few hundred times, 
probably.” 

It was not significant to me until later, 
but he looked up and seemed to stiffen, 
and I thought he did not care for my an- 
swer. “You have another problem,” he 
said a few minutes later. “Did you know 
that you have AIDS?” 

1 felt my hands and scalp tingle. 1 felt 
my mouth go dry. "No," I said 

“Yes. It shows up in the eyes first 
You'd better get tested.” 

“You're sure I have AIDS?” I asked. 

“Absolutely.” he said. "No question 
about it.” And he went on with the exam 
asif nothing had happened 

1 wish E could tell you that I went from 
his office to my physician's office and got 
tested that afternoon. But I did not. My 
fear was so great, my shame so pro- 


By ASA BABER 


HALLOWED BE 
THY CONDOM 


found, that I fell into a depression as se- 
vere as any I have ever experienced. Af- 
ter all, I was potentially vulnerable to the 
disease. Г had been sexually active, and 
in spite of my good intentions, I had not 
always used condoms. 

Believe it or not, one of my first con- 
cerns was for the readers of my Men col- 
umn. What an irony: Ace the Base, Mr. 
Macho, the guy who had always urged 
people to use condoms, had been caught 
going without. Not only that: I might be 
seen by some readers as a hypocrite. 

I refrained from all sexual activity, 
spent many sleepless nights and finally 
went to get tested. When I was told I was 
HIV-negative, 1 felt like crying. I have 
dodged lots of bullets, but this was one of 
the biggest. 

It was not until a year or so later that T 
realized what had been done to me. As 1 
picked up an extra pair of glasses at a 
shop downtown, the clerk looked at the 
prescription form and said, “Too bad 
about him. Did you hear? He just died 
of AIDS.” 

In a flash I understood. A dying doc- 
tor had decided to rattle my cage. He 
wanted me to feel what he had felt when 
he was told he had AIDS. I did, and in 
spite of his cruelty, Lam grateful to him 
- 1 recommitted myself to safe sex, 
and I better understood the feelings of 


the doomed victims of that awful plague. 

My other major-league fear—an un- 
wanted pregnancy that was my responsi- 
bility—became a reality for me some 
years ago. This time there was no physi- 
cian's gamesmanship. The facts were 
simple: A woman Г had slept with was 
pregnant, and the tests proved it. We 
had not always used condoms, and in 
spite of my vision of myself as a knowl- 
edgeable lover, 1 had been cavalier on 
more than one occasion. 1 was in the 
midst of a messy divorce, I had no desire 
to remarry and 1 felt like the biggest jerk 
in the world—which I definitely was. In 
addition, 1 was already the father of two 
fine sons, and I had no desire to add 
even more children to the world's bur- 
gconing population. My life with my 
boys was as good as life can get, and that 
was enough for me 

The burden of my responsibility be- 
gan to work on both my body and my 
mind. I had migraine headaches for the 
first and only time in my life, and I lived 
in dread for several weeks. (We really 
did not know what to do. 1 was ready to 
get married if I had to, but 1 knew that 
it would be a disastrous choice for all 
of us.) 

Here, too, I dodged a bullet, but I also 
learned something about safe sex. On a 
rural highway one summer's evening, 
with neither one of us drunk or disor- 
derly. the car I was driving was blind- 
sided by a truck. The car flew into the 
air, crashed down an embankment, 
rolled over twice and came to rest at the. 
bottom of a ditch. At that moment, in 
shock, my companion miscarried. It was 
a bloody, difficult process, and we both 
lamented that premature loss of life. But 
we were relieved by the miscarriage, too 
We knew we were too independent to be 
good partners or good parents. 

When you think about it, the latex 
condom is a marvelous invention. But 
most of us often fail to use it. We assume 
the interruption is not worth it. But I 
have learned, in two terrifying incidents, 
that the few seconds it takes to fit Mr 
Happy with good protection can make 
all the difference in the world between 
responsibility and foolishness, So let this 
be your first commandment for the rest 
of your sexual life, amigos: Hallowed be 
thy condom. 

It’s the only way to live. 


SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Smoking 


Causes Lung Cancer, Heart Disease, 
Emphysema, And May Complicate Pregnancy. 


слова R.J. REYNOLDS TOBACCO CO. 


1995 Playboy Playmate Calendars feature a 
dozen Playmates to enjay for the year. Becky 
DelasSantos, Arlene Baxter, Shae Marks, Elan 
Carter, Jennifer Lavoie, Julianna Yaung, Elke 
Jeinsen, Anna-Marie Goddard, Neriah Davis, 
Julie Lynn Cialini, Anna Nicole Smith and 
Playmate of the Year Jenny McCarthy. 
XHCCI995W Wall $5.95 

XHCC1995D Desk $5.95 


Welcome the brisk days ahead in a top-quality 
suede baseball jacket with the Playbay Rabbit 
Head Design embassed an the back. Manufac- 
tured in velvety-saft yet durable pigskin suede, 
with zip-front closure, two side-slit pockets, 
black polyester lining, ribbed cotton collar, cuffs 
and waistband. Hunter green. USA. Sizes M, L, XL. 
XH4691 5124.00 


Handsome sterling silver pendant is a reproduc- 
tian of Richard Hunt's arresting sculpture of the 
Rabbit Head Design. Sterling silver chain 
(included) is 20" long. Pendant shown at 80% 
actual size. 

XH4013 $35.00 


This 70-minute CD inclades Jayne's never-ar- 
hardly released singles, songs from films like 
Too Hot to Handle and 33 minutes from her live 
show in Los Vegas (entitled Jayne Mansfield 
Welcomes You to Hur House of Lovu), and comes 
inside a package that pops up with various 
pinap pases when you apen it. Alsa included is a 
booklet with notes and some steamy photas . 
XH5155 CD $2495 


MARKE 


PLAYBOY MARKETPLACE 


WORLD CLASS 


The ivary silk chiffon chemise from Ramantics by 
Playboy, aur exclusive tine of lingerie, is whis- 
per light and sensuausly sheer. With U-neck, 
deep V-back and spaghetti straps. Imported. 
Sizes 5, M, L 

XH4618 $42.00 


Playboy American flag T-shirt sports a gold 
metallic Rabbit Head Design an left front and 
the distinctive Playbay flag metallic lago silk- 
screened on the back. White. 100% cortan. USA. 
Sizes M, L XL, XXL. 

XH4976 $14.95 


Basic Instinct: The Original Director's Cut 
Michael Douglas and Sharon Stone star in this 
steamy thriller. A cop plays cat and mouse with 
his seductive suspect. This unrated version 
includes interviews, footage cut from ariginal 
release and more. Nudity. VHS. 150 min. 
XH1169 $24.98 


^ 


Convenient Playboy slipcases keep collections of 
Playboy videos organized and free af dust. In 
navy blue vinyl with Playboy and the Rabbit 
Head Design stamped in gold on the spine. 
XH4704 One 3-pock $5.95 

XH4705 One S-pock $7.95 

XH4706 Set of four 3-pack $17.85 

XH4707 Set ol four 5-pack $23.85 


m 


Thought-provoking, humorous, disturbing, fasci- 
nating—relive every Playboy Interview pub- 
lished from 1962 to 1992. The Playboy Interview 
CD-ROM includes 352 uncensored interviews 
and more than 1000 photos. 

System requirements: MPC configured PC, Windows 3.1, 386 33 MHZ 
(minimum) 486 25 MHz (recommended), 4 MB RAM (minimum), 6 
MB RAM (rocommondod), 2 MB hard dick spoco, SVGA 640 x 480 x 
256 graphic, Windows 3.1 compatible audio board, mouse. 
XH5095 $59.05 


The Sensual Pleasures Bath Basket created exdu- 
sively lor Playboy. Includes Scentval™ Pleasures 
Bath ОП (8 0z.), Cherry Almond Oil of Love that 
imparts a warm, tingling sensation on your skin 
(4 о1.), а Romance Candle made up of natural 
blends of Sandalwood and Lavender oils, a red 
heart sponge and a cassette of Playboy’s Music for 
Lovers—Vol. 1. Packaged in a black wire basket. 
XH5049 $19.95 


PR 


Вы 


This handsome cow-buffed leather jacket fea- 
tures toggle clasps and slanted pockets. Deeply 
quilted nylan/acetate wool blanket plaid lines 
the sleeves and body for added warmth. Leather 
dean. Dark brown. Imported, Sizes M, L, XL, XXL. 
An Outstanding Value. 

XH4256 $190.00 

XH4256 XXL 5220.00 


Call 24 hours and charge to your Visa, 
MasterCard, Optima, American Express or 
Discover. Ask for the item number shown with 
euch product. Most orders shipped within 48 
hours. (Source Code: 49573) 


Include Пет number and product name as 
shown. Use your credit card and be sure to 
include your account number and expiration 
date. Or enclose a check or money order 
payable to Playboy. Mail to Playboy, P.O. Box 
809, Dept. 49573, Itasca, Illinois 60143-0809. 


There is a $5.50 shipping and bandling charge 
per total order. Illinois residents add 6.75% 
sales tax. Canadian residents please add $5.00 
additional per order. Sorry, no other foreign 
orders or currency accepted. 

© 1994 Playboy 


40 


WOMEN 


here is a disquieting trend under- 

way in our society. It started in 
the Seventies and culminated yesterday 
when 1 received in the mail three unso- 
liited books оп men—each bashing, 
each belittling, each full of smirking and 
fingerpointing. 

Book one is called How to Make Your 
Man Behave in 21 Days or Less, Using the 
Secrets of Professional Dog Trainers, by 
Karen Salmansohn. In this tiny tome we 
are told that all men are dogs and that 
“it's pointless to compete for attention 
with a dog caught up ina ball game. He 
is a mindless, obsessed animal.” 

Book two is Eves Revenge, by the in- 
dustrious Tama Starr. One can peruse 
quotes from such famous male-bashers 
as Catharine MacKinnon (“Whatever 
sexually arouses a man is sex. If there is 
no inequality, no violation, no domi- 
nance, no force, there is mo sexual 
arousal”), misogynistic antiquities from 
Euripides ("Surely, of all creatures that 
have life and will, women are the most 
wretched") or even odd, hate-filled jokes 
(‘Mommy, Mommy, why is Daddy so 
pale?" “Shut up and keep digging"). 

Book three is Undressing the American 
Male. It's one of those hellish volumes 
about how to keep your man happy, 
even if he likes to tie you up or has an 
aversion to your vagina. 

But two out of three isn’t bad. Male- 
bashing is everywhere. TV sitcoms exist 
only to make men look ridiculous. In 
comedy clubs, women get big laughs 
tearing men to shreds. Talk radio is ei- 
ther filled with Rush Limbaugh and his 
hideous clones or female supremacists 
exhorting their listeners to rise up and 
quash those pesky Y chromosomes. 

Phone lines all over America are 
dogged with vitriol. Guys, you don't 
want to know. Women want you extinct. 
Some of them think you are extinct but 
just haven't noticed. They're complain- 
ing about your arrogance, your sloppi- 
ness, your infidelity, your stupidity, your 
sex drive, your aggression, your empty 
pride, your cruelty, your taste in shirts. 

"This, understandably, makes the aver- 
age man feel defensive. Pissed off. Mis- 
understood. Frustrated. Confused by 
this constant barrage of hatred. Mainly, 
with all kinds of nice, sensi › nonrap- 
ing, nonaggressive, self-effacing and nat- 
ty men around, it seems unfair. 

I would like to offer my advice: Get 


By CYNTHIA HEIMEL 


THE SHAME OF 
MALE-BASHING 


over it. You want to talk fair? OK, let's. 
It's not fair that this country is governed 
by men. It’s not fair that an uncon- 
scionable amount of violence is perpe- 
trated against women every day. It's not 
fair that women are the victims of virtu- 
ally all domestic crimes. It’s not fair that 
most blockbuster movies star guys with 
guns and that their co-stars are just wet 
dreams. It’s mot fair that the female 
semiclad body is used to sell beer, cars 
and sandwiches. It's not fair that middle- 
aged men are sexy and powerful while 
middle-aged women are invisible. It's 
not fair that men have all the money— 
except for Oprah and Roseanne. It's not 
fair that women are battered and belit- 
Чед and brainwashed every day in every 
way to think they're inferior to men. 
And it's really not fair that a billion books 
a year are published about how fucked 
up a woman is if she can't get a husband. 

What's a couple of demcaning por- 
trayals on sitcoms? Face it, men, when it 
comes to being treated unfairly, we blow 
you right out of the water. (And please 
don't start rattling on about unfair al- 
imony and child custody. Study the 
figures and you'll find that for every 
man who is saddled with unfair alimony 
payments or screwed out of custody of 
his children, a hundred women are 
abandoned with no money and sole care 


ofthe children, with no day care in sight. 
So there.) 

But so what? Everything we learned in 
kindergarten is wrong. Unfairness is be- 
side the point. Life is unfair. People are 
unfair. And God, should she happen to 
exist, is the most unfair of all, letting 
children starve and animals be heedless- 
ly massacred. Fairness is a nonissue. 

This is why “masculinists” like Warren 
Farrell, Ph.D., make me crazy. This guy 
is like a kindergartner whose crayons 
have been stolen, so he's holding his 
breath and turning blue. He writes petu- 
lantly and self-righteously about how 
mistreated his sex is. Which prompts 
women to tell him and his sidekicks 
even more self-righteously how mistreat- 
ed we are. Then he counterattacks, then 
we counterattack. Defensiveness reigns. 
This is masochism. Even if one sex 
should finally and fully win the martyr- 
dom sweepstakes, nobody wins a thing. 

Malc-bashing and femalc-bashing arc 
destructive. Both exacerbate the “gen- 
der wars” that the media are having such 
a barking frenzy over. These trumped- 
up gender wars could replace Tonya 
Harding, Lorena Bobbitt and O.J. Simp- 
son in the hearts and souls of tabloid- 
reading America. We'll be hearing about 
them for a long time because they make 
such a lovely smoke screen. We're being 
divided and conquered and distracted 
from the real issue, which is that neo- 
Nazi, white-supremacist, non-ozone-hole- 
believing, religious fanatics are banding 
together to take over the universe. 
That's the downside. 

The upside is that both sexes get to 
let off steam. Wouldn't you prefer that 
women comedians go insane with hatred 
and that audiences have a good, cathar- 
tic laugh than that we all go out and 
wreak havoc? The oppressed, to stay 
healthy and retain a modicum of self-es- 
teem, have to mock the oppressor. 

Which is why I miss Richard Pryor 
and appreciate Spike Lee. They make 
fun of white people so brilliantly that we 
honkies don't even mind being called 
honkies. We don't get defensive and take 
it personally. Their jibes are taken with 
good humor and generosity. We know 
they're right. 

So guys, stop being so prickly. Show 
some humor. You never know, maybe we 


will too. 
[y] 


In your Pendleton... 


How many Sundays will you share? 
How many afternoons will remain unplanned? 


How many weekends will seem too short? 


Pendleton. 
For the best part of the week. 


L 


Men’ jacket and pants arc from Pendleton Lobo Collection, Available at Pendleton stores. Call 1-800-760-4844. 


JUST ADD 
BACARDI 


Bacardi» rum. Made In Puerto Rico. 8ACARO, ени LEVICE WO THE WAYE DEVICE мемввтеко 
GEM GF BACARDI COMPA LES ЗОРА BACARDI POR, Pl МИШ APS ALC B WOU 


THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR 


| enjoy fellatio as much as the next guy. 
Luckily, my girlfriend is very good at it 
and enjoys it also. The hitch is that I'm 
able to climax only through intercourse 
I have never come from fellatio. If it feels 
so good, why can't 1 finish?—C. J.. Tus- 
caloosa. Alabama. 

Trust us: You are not enjoying fellatio as 
much as the next guy. To paraphrase what a 
therapist once said about intercourse: Oral 
sex is perfectly natural, bul it’s almost never 
naturally perfect. You may have a hang-up 
about coming in your girlfriend's mouth. 
You may need more friction (add а hand— 
yours or hers). You may need a better vie 
so that you can see, and therefore believe, 
that it is actually happening to you. Do it in 
front uf a mirror or in better light or stand- 
ing so that you can look down on the action. 
Or perhaps you need to be more active (dur- 
ing intercourse most guys get carried away 
by the thrusting action—it could be that 
you are simply doing it with an unfamil- 
iar rhythm). Finally, try switching the or- 
der—intercourse as foreplay, then come in 
hey mouth. 


When до you use an ice bucket? A 
friend says that it should be used to chill 
a bottle of white, rosé or even red wine. 1 
thought it was simply to keep a bottle 
from warming to room temperature 
during a meal.—J. R., Chicago, Illinois. 

Chill ved wine? Shoot the barbarian. Most 
wines are meant to be savored al room tem- 
perature—if Ihe room is the chilly 55° of a 
French wine cellar. Don't go overboard. 
Many people keep whites and rosés in the re- 
frigerator for days. But too much cold can 
mask flavor. Here's our advice: If you don't 
have a cellar and someone just brought over 
a bottle of white or rosé, an ice bucket filled 
with a mixture of ice and water will chill the 
bottle to 55 degrees in about eight minutes. 
(Simply putting it in the fridge can take up 
to an hour. Who has that kind of time?) Al- 
ways serve champagne in an ice bucket. Il 
can stand the cold. 


Му girlfriend has taken a six-month 
job overseas. | am committed to being 
faithful to her while she is gone, but late 
ly masturbation hasn't been enough for 
me. Can you suggest a way for me to 
stifle my hormones or perhaps to get 
more sati n out of masturbation? — 
G. R., Sa 

Where overseas? Antarctica? Pick up the 
phone. Call her and talk about what you 
would do if you were there with her. (You 
know the motlo—Reach out and ask some- 
one to touch themselves.) Do it with e-mail or 
the old-fashioned way—with a passionate. 
sexually explicit letter. Write a detailed ac- 
count of the last time you made love, or the 
first time. Ask her to do the same. And for a 


grand gesture, ask her to meet you for a long 
weekend somewhere in between your current 
residences. 


Qu car is parked outside for most of 
the winter. How can we reduce the ef- 
fects of four to five months ol 
and road salt?—G. K., Detroit, Michigan. 

Before winter begins, thoroughly clean 
your car Wax the body and the painted 
bumpers. (Don't wax chrome; the plating 
needs oxygen lo keep its appearance. Wox 
can trap moisture, which causes pitting.) 
Reapply the wax at least twice before sprin; 
Protect rubber and vinyl trim with a quali 
protectant—nol a silicone spray. Wash your 
car more often during the winter. Sand and 
salt are abrasive to a cars finish and they 
can do immense damage underneath a car. 
Many car washes offer an undercarriage 
spray for a nominal charge. Pay particular 
attention to wheels and wheel wells (rinse 
them as thoroughly as possible). If you clean 
your car yourself, add three tablespoons of 
baking soda to the water to neutralize the 
salt acids. Make sure your windshield wash- 
er is directed al your windshield, since 
antifreeze alcohol in the wash solution will 
ruin wax if it oversprays. Dilute the solution 
as much as possible. 


WI, lover asked me to ejaculate on her 
breasts, which 1 readily agreed to. Айег- 
d, 1 re-inserted my penis in her vagi- 
na and came again in less than 45 sec- 
onds. The second orgasm was very 
intense. Since that time, I have repeated 
this fairly often. Is this common?—P W., 
Iowa City, lowa. 

Same men are capable of repeat orgasms 
та short time. Most need а few minutes to 
several hours—the time required often in- 


ILLUSTRATION BY PATER SATO 


creases with age. What you are experiencing 
may simply be the same orgasm finished off to 
the last drop. Ejaculation and orgasm are 
not the same. Some men can prolong a cli- 
max long after the semen мору coming out. 
т “Tricks,” author Jay Wiseman relates: 
“When a man comes, the sensations of or- 
gasm mix with the sensations of semen pass- 
ing through his penis. Interestingly, his or- 
gasm usually doesn't pump all the semen ош 
of his penis. During masturbation or fella- 
үнс е ойлук give him a tiny 
extra orgasm by pinching his cock lightly but 
firmly to complete emptying.” You can obtain 
a copy of "Tricks" from Romantasy Bou- 
lique, 199 Moulton Street, San Francisco, 
California 94123, or call 415-673-3137. 


What is the proper amount to give a 
maitre d' 10 assure a good table?—V. S., 
New York, New York. 

Sirio Maccioni, the owner of New York's 
Le Cirque, once said: “Accepting a tip for a 
good’ table is unethical. The restaurant is 
not a theater where you pay for a ticket, and 
а mailre d' is nol an usher. He is the т 
of the dining room, there to serve you.” 
you are dissalisfied with the location of a 
table, simply indicate the table you would 
prefer: If the maitre d' can't oblige, then it is 
unlikely the rest of the service will vise to the 
occasion. Tip at the end of the meal in ap- 
preciation of the total effort. 


In a recent Advisor you talked briefly 
about the Digital Satellite System. Could 
you tell me more about the program- 
ming options? What are the advantages 
of satellite over cable?—B. Г, Denver, 
Colorado. 

We are high on DSS. This type of direct 
broadcast satellite system delivers the same 
superior digital audio and video that for- 
тетђу was available only on laser disc. The 
18-inch receivers sell for $700 10 8850 at 
Sears and Circuit City. In addition la en- 
hanced picture and sound quality, you get 
expanded programming options. Two com- 
panies, DirecTV and United States Satellite 
Broadcasting System, are promising up to 
150 channels, including frequently aired 
pay-per-view movies and special events, as 
well as such cable fare as HBO. Showtime, 
CNN, MTV and Playboy TV. Prices for basic 
and premium packages are comparable to 
cable. If you're not satisfied with your cur- 
rent service, DSS is a good way to buck the 
system. Note that DSS does not yet offer local 
broadcast stations, so you'll need an antenna 
hookup—at least until the program pro- 
viders are able to offer network TI, too. 


| can't ask my buddies this question— 
they'd never let me forget it. And I'm too 
embarrassed to ask my girlfriend. So Im 
asking you: How can I tell if a woman 


43 


PLAYBOY 


44 


has had an orgasm?—G. M., Madison, 
Wisconsin. 

Women's orgasms are fairly similar to 
men's, except that most women don't ejacu- 
late. In both sexes, orgasm is the result of a 
quick series of wavelike muscle contractions 
in the pelvic area. The muscles, similar in 
men and women, run from the anus to the 
genitals and contract for a total of a few sec- 
onds. To tell if a woman has come, simply 
look for the signs you experience: а quicken- 
ing of excitement followed by involuntary 
pelvic, hip or leg movements and then a re- 
lease of breath and tension as the orgasm 
subsides. However, orgasms vary from per- 
son to person and often in the same individ- 
ual, depending on the circumstanc 
people moan, scream or thrash; others are 
fairly quiet. Many women never come from 
intercourse alone. They need direct clitoral 
stimulation. If you feel too embarrassed to 
ash your girlfriend if she came, simply ask, 

s there anything else I can do for you?" If 
she says yes, provide gentle clitoral caresses 
with your fingers, tongue or a sex toy. Con- 
tinue until she asks you to stop. Surprising- 
5, many women wonder how they can tell if 
а man has come. One very intimate way lo 
resolve your question (and maybe your girl- 
friend's) is to masturbate to orgasm for each 
other. That way, you and your lover see not 
only how you both come, but also the kinds of 
caresses that get you off. 


ve heard you can retrofit a driver's- 
side air bag in many late-model cars, 15 
this true, and can I do it myself?—K. С., 
Herndon, Virginia. 

I's true now. Since our previous answer 
on this subject was published. at least one af- 
termarket company began offering retrofit 
airbag kits. Breed Technologies of Lake- 
laud, Florida, makers of air-bag sensors (the 
devices that signal the air bag to inflate), has 
developed a complete driver's-side air-bag 
system that can be installed in certain used 
cars. The Breed SRS-40 retrofit air-bag kits 
are identical to the factory-installed air bags 
offered by Jaguar and Fiat. Only a Breed- 
certified auto mechanic can install one. 
Units are offered for 42 popular domestic 
and imported vehicles built from 1987 to 
1994. All kits include a replacement steer- 
ing wheel. They retail for $695, installation 
included. For more information, call 800- 
247-6601. 


White 1 was in my teens and early 205, 
I had some interesting sexual exper 
ences with threesomes. The relation- 
ships weren't serious, so the fun never 
interfered with feelings. Now Гт 28 and 
am involved with someone who is 22. 
She has the same wild outlook 1 had at 
that age, but has never been in a multi- 
ple-pariner situation. On a recent date 
she had a friend join us for drinks and 
dancing. At the end of the evening, she 
told me that they had discussed an en- 
counter. I thought it was a joke, but on 
the way home they started talking about 


going to a hotel. My girlfriend then 
stripped in the car and began perform- 
ing oral sex on me. I was driving, but I 
reached into the backseat to use my 
fingers on her friend, who was getting 
very hot. We didn't ре! а room, because I 
didn't want my girlfriend to take that 
nd of step while intoxicated. But we 
still talk about a threesome. I know how 
hot it is, but I've never attempted it with 
someone I really cared for. She has some 
of the same doubts about how it will af- 
fect our feelings. We are both preoccu- 
pied with the fantasy, and it gets us very 
excited. Should we act on it, or leave it in 
fantasyland?—H. C., Newark, New Jersey. 

There's nothing like a touch of seriousness 
to quell lust and spontaneity. If you want to 
keep this girl, you have to treat her as an 
equal, not as а student. You don't "give" a 
partner a threesome—it is something that 
happens to both of you. She has the same 
wild outlook you once had—and that seems 
to scare you now. Try to imagine a relation- 
ship that allows that wildness to flourish. 
Boredom is not the key to fidelity. 


М boyfriend and 1 always use con- 
doms, mainly for birth control purposes, 
when we have sex. But when things are 
hot and heavy, it disrupts the mood if he 
has to fumble with a rubber. Is there any 
way to incorporate this activity into love- 
making?—S. A., New York, New York. 
Sure. You can simultaneously increase his 
arousal while relieving him of responsibility 
for suiting up. Open the package, remove the 
condom and slick your tongue into the tip to 
remove any ай: Using your lips and tongue 
(no teeth, please), carefully unroll the con- 
dom to the base of his penis. To ensure a 
smooth fit, help it along with your hands. We 
think you'll both be pleased with the results. 


| bicycle everywhere I go, and suffer 
from occasional numbness of the penis— 
and pain on the top of my penis. I would 
not be caught dead in spandex tights, 
but I'm concerned enough to consider 
them, Are padded bike shorts the an- 
swer?—D. N., Tacoma, Washington. 

Penile numbness is a fairly common сот- 
plaint among cyclists. According to John 
Forester's book “Effective Cycling," saddle 
pain or numbuess can result fiom restricted 
blood flow along the upper surface of the ре- 
nis as it lifts against the pubic bone. Padding 
the seat doesn't work—it only presses the pe- 
nis more tightly against the bone. Forester 
recommends a modern saddle with silicone- 
gel pads where your bones press against it. 
Compare the match between your shape and 
the shape of your bike saddle. You might get 
some relief from a different-width saddle. 
Also try periodically lifting out of the seat 
while you are pedaling. 


White my girlfriend was giving me a 
foot massage, she touched a point just 
behind the ball of my foot. 1 noticed an 
erotic sensation, mostly through my 


foot, but nonetheless very sexual. Rub- 
bing this spot triggers sensual feelings in 
me, but she doesn't seem to have a cor- 
responding spot. Any hints on where to 
find her erogenous zones?—S. W., Hack- 
ensack, New Jersey. 

Some individuals are more sensitive to 
a particular stimulation than others. Spots 
that are usually sensitive for both sexes in- 
elude the earlobes, neck, lips, nipples, inner 
thighs, lower back (just above the buttocks) 
and backs of the knees. But here's a neat ex- 
ercise. Creale a pleasure map to learn what 
spots are sensitive for your partner. Explore 
her body using a scale ranging from negative 
lo neutral to wow. See if changing the inten- 
sity of the touch changes the rating. Leave 
Post-it stickers on all points of interest. Then 
go over your notes. 


А. a dinner party recently, 1 tasted a 
fine cognac that my friend had been 
given for college graduation—almost a 
decade ago. She had never had the осса- 
sion, she said, to celebrate. The evening 
was exceptional, and I wonder—Did 
the ten years in the bottle improve the 
cognac?—J. T., Schenectady, New York. 

The cognac was exceptional when it went 
into the bottle. The flavor is the result of 
years of aging in oak barrels. The process 
gives fine spirits their color and smoky flavor. 
Aging stops once the liquor is bottled. That 
means you can repeat the celebration with 
more recent acquisitions. 


What are my rights as a traveler when 
an airline bumps me from an aver- 
booked flight? This has happened a cou- 
ple of times in the past year—and would 
have happened more if other passengers 
hadn't traded seats for later flights and 
vouchers or cash.—P T, Los Angeles, 
California. 

To avoid the hassle, arrive varly with a 
reservation and boarding pass. Look at your 
ticket jacket for the cutoff time (between ten 
and 30 minutes, depending on the airline). 
That's the point at which your reservation 
evaporates and you become just another 
standby passenger. If the flight is overbooked 
(major carriers routinely overbonk by 20 per- 
cent on popular flights), you'll get between 
$200 and $400 for your seat (you can some- 
times bargain for more). We know some trav- 
elers who hope for overbooked flights—for 
every passenger turned away, some 13 give 
up their seats for vouchers or cash. What's 
your time worth? 


АЙ reasonable questions—from fashion, 
food and drink, stereo and sports cars to dat- 
ing problems, taste and ctiquette—will be 
personally answered if the writer includes a 
stamped, self-addressed envelope. Send all 
letters to The Playboy Advisor, PLAYBOY. 650 
North Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, тов 
60611. The most provocative, pertinent 
queries will be presented in these pages 


each month, 


THE PLAYBOY 


WOMEN ARE RESPONSIBLE, 100 


a startling perspective on domestic violence 


Once again, the myth of the 
evil male perpetrator and the 
innocent female victim in do- 
mestic violence is being broadcast and 
written about as gospel. The discus- 
sion is national; the rage and sorrow 
are palpable. Only when we come to 
terms with the fact that ending do- 
mestic violence should be the respon- 
sibility of both men and women, how- 
ever, will we put a stop to this 
nightmare. 

Domestic violence is not an either- 
or phenomenon. It is not either the 
man's fault or the woman's. It is a 
both-and problem. Both the male 
and the female are bound in their 
dance of mutual destructiveness and 
in their incapacity 
for intimacy and ap- 
preciation of differ- 
ences. They need 
each other to per- 
petuate personal 
and collective dra- 
mas of victimization 
and lovelessness, 
and so, regrettably, 
neither can leave. 

This is an untidy 
idea for people who 
have grown up be- 
lieving that the good 
guy triumphs over 
the bad guy and res- 
cues the damsel in 
distress. But to tack- 
le the problem of 
domestic violence, 
we must alter our perspective. Facts: 
* Half cf spousal murders are com- 
mitted by wives, a statistic that has 
been stable over time. [A recent Jus- 
tice Department study found the ra- 
tio almost equal among blacks, and 
approximately 60 percent/40 percent 
overall. However, the FBI says that in 
1992, 1432 women were killed by 
their intimate male partners, while 
623 men were killed by their female 
partners. Newsweek conduded that 
the “image of hordes of women wield- 
ing guns, knives or brass knuckles is 
likely a fantasy.” How then did 623 
men die?] 

* The findings of the 1985 National 
Family Violence Survey, funded by 
the National Institute of Mental 


By JUDITH SUERVEN & JAMES ШШЕ 


Health and supported by many other 
surveys, revealed that women and 
men physically abuse each other in 
roughly equal numbers. Wives re- 
ported that they were more often the 
aggressors, using weapons to make 
up for physical disadvantage. They 
were not just fighting back. In 1984 
a researcher looked into 6200 domes- 
tic assault cases. The study found that 
25 percent of the men used weap- 
ons, compared with 82 percent of 
the women. 

* While 1.8 million women annually 
suffered one or more assaults from a 


husband or boyfriend, slightly more 
than 2 million men were assaulted by 
a wife or girlfriend, according to a 
1985 study on U.S. family violence 
published in the Journal of Marriage 
and the Family. That study also found 
that 54 percent of all violence termed 
“severe” was perpetrated by women. 
© Social Work: Journal of the National 
Association of Social Workers found in 
1986 that among teenagers who date, 
girls were violent more frequently 
than boys. 

е Mothers abuse their children at a 
rate approaching twice that of fa- 
thers, according to state child-protec- 
tive service agencies surveyed by the 
Children’s Rights Coalition. 

е Because men are ridiculed when 


FOR UM 


they reveal that they have been 

battered by women, women are 

nine times more likely to re- 
port their abusers to the authorities. 

Why are we, as a culture, loath to 
expose the responsibility of women in 
domestic abuse? If we are sincere 
about change, we must acknowledge 
the truth: Women are part and parcel 
of domestic violence. 

Why does our culture refuse to 
hold women accountable for their 
participation in domestic violence? 
Their behavior is understood and 
passed off as the by-product of social- 
ization or poor economic status. On 
the other hand, men are held fully ac- 
countable for all of their behavior— 

despite the tough- 
guy stereotype all 
boys are encour- 
aged to embody and 
despite the abuse 
many bear as a "пог- 
mal and loving” part 
of their upbringing. 
None of this is in- 
tended to exonerate 
OJ. Simpson. If he 
is guilty of the mur 
ders with which he 
has been charged, 
he must answer for 
his actions. The 
point is that, in the 
reaction to this sen- 
sational case, we do 
ourselves a grave 
disservice to slip in- 
to a gender-biased 
frenzy, vilifying and accusing only 

men as abusers. 

If women are not expected to think 
and act for themselves, if their self- 
esteem is in shambles and their de- 
pendency is characterized as femi- 
nine, the fault cannot be laid at the 
feet of men. 

The women's movement claims 
that its goal is equal rights for women. 
Women, therefore, should share re- 
sponsibility for their behavior and 
their contribution to domestic vio- 
lence. Only the truth will stop the epi- 
demic of violence that is destroying 
our families and our nation. 


A version ef this commentary ran in the 
“Los Angeles Times” on June 21, 1994. 


45 


46 


COURIER 


id 


forget warronts—police can stop and search almost anyone 


Jill Darby, a flight attendant on a 
personal trip, was standing in Denver's 
Stapleton International Airport when a 
man approached and asked if he could 
search her purse and luggage. She re- 
fused because she did not believe the 
man was a law enforcement officer. 

He shoved her against a wall. Two 
other men approached, showed badges 
and searched her forcibly. At some 
point in the search, Darby's finger was 
broken. She has filed a lawsuit. 

Willie Jones of Nashville was flying 
to Houston to buy plants 
for his landscaping 
business. He paid cash 
for his plane ticket 
Drug Enforcement 
Administration agents 
buttonholed Jones, 
checked his ID and 
asked permission to 
search him. Jones re- 
fused, but the officers 
searched him anyway. 
They found $9000 in 
cash and announced 
they were “detaining 
the money.” Jones 
asked for a receipt. 
The agents handed 
him a slip of paper 
noting the seizure of 
“an undetermined 
amount of U.S. cur- 
rency.” Jones objected 
and asked the officers to 
count the money. The officers refused, 
claiming that such an action would vio- 
late DEA policy. Jones filed a lawsuit. 
‘Two years later, a judge ordered the 
money returned. 

Joe Morgan, a Hall of Fame baseball 
player, was making a phone call in Los 
Angeles International Airport. An 
LAPD detective approached him, de- 
manded to see identification and then, 
according to Morgan, grabbed him 
from behind, shoved him to the floor 
and handcuffed him. The officer told 
Morgan that the officer was an “au- 
thority figure” and that he would teach 
Morgan “what authority is all about.” 

Aided by a DEA agent, he dragged 
Morgan to a nearby room for interro- 
gation. Later, realizing their mistake, 


By JAMES BOVARD 


the narcs released him. Morgan filed a 
lawsuit, which was settled for more 
than $750,000. 


What do these people have in com- 
mon? Each was stopped simply because 
he or she fit a drug-courier profile. 
Each is black. 

The Fourth Amendment states: 
“The right of the people to be secure in 
their persons, houses, papers, and ef- 


"Some profiles pinpoint the 
first person off the plane as a 
likely drug suspect. Others tar- 

get the last person off.” 


fects, against unreasonable searches 
and seizures, shall not be violated, and 
no warrants shall issue, but upon prob- 
able cause, supported by oath or 
affirmation, and particularly describ- 
ing the place to be searched, and the 
persons or things to be seized.” The 
purpose of the Fourth Amendment is 
to prevent government officials from 


having “dictatorial power over the 
streets.” The Fourth Amendment is a 
thing of the past. 

Drug-courier profiles—offcial lists 
of characteristics or traits of people 
who supposedly carry drugs—now al- 
low police to search almost anyone they 
please. Random shakedowns of travel- 
ers—because they are black, or His- 
panic, or scruffy, say, and white—occur 
now more than eyer before. 

Federal prosecutors argue that the 
traits in the drug-courier profile auto- 
matically create a suspi- 

cion of criminal con- 
duct—and thus a 
justification to accost 
private citizens. Asked 
to describe the spe- 
cifics of such a profile, 
Donna De La Torre, 
a Customs Service 
spokeswoman, stone- 
walled. “I can't tell 
you exactly what it 
says. It changes con- 
stantly and it’s not for 
public knowledge.” 

If you study indi- 
vidual cases, the ca- 
pricious nature of 
the profiles emerges. 
Agents have shown 
remarkable creativity 
in devising drug- 
courier profiles for air- 

line passengers. Some 
profiles pinpoint the first person off 
the plane as a likely drug suspect, oth- 
ers target the last person off and some 
assert that people who try to blend into 
the middle are the ones to detain. 

Government agents have used drug- 
courier profiles to search passengers 
таи nonstop flights—and those 
who changed planes; people traveling 
alone—and people traveling with a 
companion; people who appeared ner- 
vous—and people who appeared too 
calm. Among the telltale characteristics 
in one widely used DEA courier profile 
are “the almost exclusive use of pub- 
lic transportation, particularly taxicabs, 
in departing from the airport” and 
“immediately making a phone call af- 
ter deplaning.” These two provisions 


| 


alone should provide enough suspects 
to keep DEA agents happily burrowing 
through other people's belongings un- 
til at least the turn of the century. 

Police routinely stop passengers if 
they are flying to or from places that 
are considered to be narcotics source 
cities, such as Detroit or Miami. During 
a 1991 federal court trial, prosecutors 
went even further, claiming that a 

“source city" for drug traffic is “virtual- 
ly any city with a major airport.” (The 
judge noted in his decision that this as- 
sertion provoked an eruption of laugh- 
ter in the courtroom.) 

Federal agents sometimes claim that 
their profiles are nearly infallible— 
which is news to the tens of thousands 
of people who have been wrongfully 
searched by government officials, In 
one court case, federal prosecutors 
sought to justify a drug- courier profile 
by claiming that “the combination of 
facts in this case will rarely, if ever, 
describe an innocent 
traveler” One DEA . 
spokesman declared 
that government 
agents "can spot a 
drug dealer the way a 
woman can spot a deal 
at the supermarket." 
But at the Buffalo air- 
port in 1989, federal 
agents detained 600 
individuals as suspect- 
ed drug couriers. On- 
ly ten were subse- 
quently arrested. 

Such statistics may 
justify fear of flying, 
but ground travel is 
no safer. Drug-courier 
profiles in many states 
target drivers who ex- 
ceed the speed limit, 
even though a 1991 
Federal Highway Admin- 
istration survey found that more than 
half of drivers exceed speed limits. 
And for those cars that don't speed, 
New Mexico state police invented a 
drug courier profile to justify stopping 
drivers who showed “scrupulous obe- 
dience to traffic laws." A Georgia state 
police profile instructed troopers to be 
wary of "cars carrying a box of tissues, 
which signals cocaine use, and cars car- 
rying empty McDonald's cartons or pil- 
lows and blankets in the backseat area, 
which may signal drug runners in a 
hurry,” as one law journal article not- 
ed. A Florida trial judge commented 
on the courier profile used by Florida 
police: “When you boil the profile 
down to its essentials, it covers just 
about every rental automobile or pri- 


vate automobile with out-of-state li- 
cense plates traveling north on the 
turnpike or 1-95.” 

The police defend profiles as a “tool 
that works.” Here, exactly, is how the 
tool works. Between 1989 and 1992, 
the Tinicum, Pennsylvania police de- 
partment routinely stopped blacks and 
Hispanics who were driving through 
or near the town, on the pretext of a 
motor vehicle code provision that pro- 
hibits cars from having rabbits’ Beet 
dice or air fresheners hanging from he 
rearview mirror. Tinted windows could 
also get motorists pulled over. Police 
then searched the automobiles for 
drugs and contraband. Four black 
women returning from a church ser- 
vice asserted that the police officer who 
performed the search said he stopped 
them because they were young, black 
and driving “a nice car.” 

Ina six-month period, 96 percent of 
the cars stopped by one Tinicum police 


“An LAPD detective 
grabbed him from behind, 
shoved him to the floor 
and handcuffed him.” 


officer were driven by blacks. The 
Delaware County, Pennsylvania district 
attorney justified the racial targeting: 
“Everybody knows that the drug trade 
in Chester and Philadelphia and in 
Wilmington, Delaware is controlled by 
blacks. It’s a truism.” 

Or is the truism that drug enforce- 
ment in some cities is controlled by 


| — — г о A о м 


racists? A Biloxi, Mississippi newspaper 
examined police files and found that of 
57 cars stopped and searched on a local 
interstate, 55 were driven by blacks or 
Hispanics. A Rutgers University study 
found that though only 4.7 percent of 
the traffic on the New Jersey turnpike 
involved “late-model cars with out-of- 
state plates driven by black males,” 80 
percent of arrests fit that description. 

As with the airport profiles, profiles 
for drivers are also being profitably 
combined with asset-forfeiture laws. 
The Volusia County, Florida sheriff's 
department set up a “forfeiture trap” 
run by a Selective Enforcement Team 
and seized an unbelievable average of 
$5000 a day from unlucky motorists 
traveling Interstate 95 between 1989 
and 1992—more than $8 million total. 
In three quarters of the seizures, no 
criminal charges were filed. A Pulitzer 
Prize-winning investigation by The Or- 
lando Sentinel revealed that 90 percent 
of seizure victims were 

black or Hispanic. 

People whose cash 
was seized by the 
deputies received 
scant due process of 
law. As the Sentinel 
noted, one deputy 
told two blacks from 
whom he had just 
confiscated $19,000: 

“You have the right to 

follow us back to the 

station and get a re- 
ceipt.” Even citizens 
who provided proof 
that their money was 
honestly acquired (in- 
cluding a lottery win- 
пеге receipts) were 
treated like drug 
dealers. Volusia Coun- 
ty officials often of 
fered “settlements” to 
drivers whose cash they seized, vowing 
to return a percentage of the seized 
cash if the drivers would promise not 
to suc. 

The ACLU and the NAACP are su- 
ing Volusia County for racial bias in its 
drug-ourier profiles. In court pro- 
ceedings carlier this year, two members 
of the Selective Enforcement Team 
swore that the program head specifi- 
cally instructed them to stop black and 
Hispanic drivers to search for drugs 
and cash. The officers also said they 
had seen copies ofa courier profile that 
included as a target characteristic “eth- 
nic groups associated with the drug 
trade." One deputy stated that a car- 
icature of a drug courier posted on a 
department bulletin board showed a 


47 


48 


black man wearing a large gold 
medallion and cowboy boots. 

During the Fifties, citizens who in- 
voked their constitutional rights and 
refused to testify about their politics 
were sometimes known as Fifth 
Amendment communists. The mod- 
ern equivalent is Fourth Amendment 
drug couriers. When a police officer 
asks a citizen to submit voluntarily to 
a search, the officer is essentially ask- 


Ing the citizen to waive his or her con- 
stitutional right to privacy. Even if a 
citizen refuses to be searched, police 
often forcibly search the person and 
then deny that the citizen refused 
permission. Police also sometimes ar- 
gue in court that a citizen's unwilling- 
ness to be searched is itself sufficient 
evidence that he or she has broken 
the law. Although such arguments 
should be beyond contempt, many 


judges, anxious to give the police as 
much discretionary power as possi- 
ble, accept them with a straight face. 
It is only a question of time until 
the oppressive tactics that the govern- 
ment now uses against drug suspects 
will be used against clean-living, God- 
fearing, Volvo-driving Americans. 
Bovard is the author of “Lost Rights: 
The Destruction of American Liberty.” 


THE DEADHEAD PROFILE: 


Since 1990, ar- 
rests for posse: 
of LSD have tripled 
nationwide. Most of 
those busted have 
been Deadheads, ag- 
ing hippies and col- 
lege kids who follow 
the Grateful Dead 
from concert to con- 
cert in Volkswagen 
buses. Roughly 500 
Grateful Dead fans 
are serving terms for 
LSD violations in 
federal prisons, and 
up to 2000 more are 
serving terms in 
state prisons. One 
University of New 
Hampshire police officer 
created his own drug-courier profile: 
He targeted and stopped cars with 
Grateful Dead bumper stickers 
Stewart, director of Families 
Against Mandatory Minimums, an or- 
ganization that is opposed to harsh 
penalties for drug violations, ob- 
served, “In the last round of Grateful 
Dead concerts on the East Coast, 
there was a trail of people left in jail 
afterward.” When the Dead played in 
Louisville, Kentucky in June 1993, 

police arrested 272 fans within two 
Са In Phoenix in March 1994, po- 
lice arrested 173 people at two Dead 
concerts. 

The attitude of the DEA and local 
police toward Deadheads is difficult 
to comprehend. When the Dead 
played in Adanta in March 1993, po- 
lice sergeant Leroy Williams told a lo- 
cal paper, “For the most part, the 
crowd is peaceful. No violence, no 
fights." Yet Williams also told the pa- 
per that the Atlanta police were "lock- 
ing up [Deadheads] by the busload" 


own drug-couner profile—he 


stopped cars with Grateful 
Dead bumper stickers.” 


on drug charges. 

Many busts occur when undercover 
drug agents aggressively encourage 
Deadheads to sell them illicit drugs. 
Last March in Rosemont, Illinois, po- 
lice entrapped a 20-year-old Dead- 
head by offering him two concert tick- 
ets in exchange for 18 doses of LSD. 
(Charges were dismissed after labora- 
tory tests revealed that the Deadhead 
gave narcs bogus goods containing 
no LSD.) 

Gene Haislip, the DEXs chief of 
LSD enforcement, told USA Today: 
“We've opened a vein here. We're go- 
ing to mine it until this whole thing 


turns around.” 

The police ven- 
detta against Dead- 
heads is large- 
ly the result of a 
quirk in federal 
drug sentencing 
laws. These laws, 
known as manda- 
tory minimums, 
dictate that a per- 
son's prison sen- 
tence is deter- 
mined by the 
weight of drugs 
that he or she sells. 
LSD is usually sold 
in sugar cubes or 
on blotter paper. 
Federal prosecu- 

tors count the weight of 
the sugar or paper as if it were pure 
LSD. Stanley Marshall of El Paso, 
Texas was arrested in 1988 for pos- 
sessing less than a gram of LSD, but 
because the drug was on 113 grams of 
paper, Marshall got a 20-year federal 
prison sentence. 

Because of this quirk in the law, 
Deadheads face longer mandatory 
sentences for selling a handful of 
acid-laced sugar cubes than Congress 
mandates for kidnapping, embezzle- 
ment or manslaughter. 

Some critics believe that the crack- 
down on Deadheads is simply an easy 
way for federal drug agents to rack up 
enforcement and conviction num- 
bers—which arc impressive when it 
comes time for Congress to determine 
DEA budgets. Dennis McNally, publi- 
cist for the Grateful Dead, declared, 
"It's much easier to arrest some hip- 
pie kid than it is to walk into a crack 
den in the inner city, where some- 
body might open the door holding 
a semiautomatic.” 


N E W 


S Е Е 


|F O R U м 


O N.T 


what's happening in the sexual and social arenas 


HOLY NIPPLE 


BURLINGTON, ONTARIO—An unusual- 
ly pious member of St. Paul's Catholic 
Church is threatening to appeal to the Pope 
if a statue of the Virgin Mary is not те- 


moved from the congregant's place of wor- 
ship. The woman claims that the nipples 
are clearly visible through the clothing of 
the life-size statue and that they incite car- 
nal thoughts in male churchgoers. 


ROAD WARRIOR 


ALEXANDRIA—Virginia courts will have 
to decide if a man was interfering with law 
enforcement or exercising his right of free 
speech. After passing a highway sobriety 
checkpoint, the defendant pulled off the 
road and crafted a handmade sign to warn 
oncoming motorists of the police roadblock. 


OUR KIND OF FUND 


CLEVELAND—At last, we've discovered 
a mutual fund for the politically incorrect. 
Morgan Funshares Inc., which is de- 
scribed as "socially unconscious," special- 
izes in companies offering liquor, tobacco, 
cosmetics, gambling and disposable paper 
products. The 77-year-old creator of the 
fund, who doesn't smoke or drink, found 
that consumers cling to their habits in good 
and bad times. Thus, investing in these 
types of companies would make the fund 
essentially recession-proof. Founded in 
1989, Funshares has averaged a return of 


nearly 12 percent, which is better than 
youll get with Standard e Prudes-type 
mutual funds 


ELECTRONIC STALKING 


DEARBORN HEIGHTS, MICHIGAN— Civil 
liberties lawyers will decide whether to 
defend а man charged with stalking a 
woman by e-mail. The two met through a 
video dating service, and an initial айтас- 
tion led to phone calls and computer corre- 
spondence. When the woman tried to end 
the exchanges, he left a message on her an- 
swermg machine saying he had secretly 
watched her leave work. After she filed a 
police report and he threatened to mail 
their story to her family and friends, the 
man was arrested and charged. Present 
antistalking laws do not include e-mail 
correspondence. 


BORN-AGAIN VIRGINS 


NEW YORK CITY—The HIVAIDS Ad- 
закагу Cmmeil passed a proposal. recom- 
mending that the curriculum for eighth 
graders include—or perhaps invent—the 
concept of “secondary virginity.” The idea 
is that even if students are having inter- 
course, they can consider themselves vir- 


gins if they stop doing it. 


BIRDBRAINS 


TRAVERSE CITY—The Michigan De- 
partment of Transportation has banned a 
newspaper, the “Dick E. Bird News,” from 
its state highway welcome centers. The ban 
was prompted when the eight-year-old son 
of a highway official told his mom that 
"Dick E. Bird” sounded like slang for pe- 
nis. The free 24-page monthly is the hobby 
of Dick E. Mallery. The publication con- 
tains humorous commentary, poetry, envi- 
ronmental notes, letters from readers and 
“the best darned bird stories ever told.” 
Stating that the journal had existed for 
eight years without complaint, Mallery ex- 
pressed worry about the “sanity of state 


government.” 


GAY PARENTING 


RICHMOND—The Virginia Court of 
Appeals has ruled unanimously that a per- 
son's homosexuality is not grounds for be- 
ing declared an unfit parent, even if 
statutes still prohibit sodomy, The ruling 


overturned a lower court’s decision that 
had awarded custody of a child to a grand- 
parent because the mother is a lesbian. Al- 
though conservative groups protested the 
ruling, an attorney for the ACLU said the 
language of the court emphasized that par- 
enting ability should be the deciding factor 
in custody cases. 


1-900-EXTORTION 


PHILADELPHIA—A collection agency 
that tracks down phone-sex debtors has 
been accused of using extortion tactics. 
Federal prosecutors say that Standup Com- 
munications and Productions squeezed 
more than $2 million cut of individuals by 
Ihreatening to inform spouses or employers 
of calls made to the lines, sometimes even 
after the money had been collected. A few 
victims maintained that they made no such 
calls, but paid anyway to avoid hassles. 


IW LEAGUE SPERM 


CAMBRINGE—The Cryobank in Masa- 
chuselts, which also has locations near 
UCLA and Stanford in California, is ac- 
tively recruiting sperm donors from Ivy 
League and other highly ranked schools to 
meet an increasing demand for the acade- 


mically fit. “If our customers wanted high 
school dropouts, that's who we would 
seek," a spokesperson said. For now, Cry- 
obank will not accept sperm from men who 
are not attending, or have not graduated 
from, a four-year college. 


50 


KILL ALL THE LAWYERS? 
In “Lawyers: A Modest Pro- 
posal” (The Playboy Forum, July), 
Geoffrey Norman committed 
an error in terminology when 
he said "law schools are still 
packed with people whose goal 
is to make a lot of money.” 
Lawyers do not “make” money, 
they “get” money. Every penny 
paid to a shyster is made by 
someone else—an inventor, 
farmer, manufacturer, bricklay- 
er, secretary, janitor or other 
working chump. Lawyers ad- 
minister a system of lawyer- 
written rules, allowing them to 
skim from and not contribute to 
the pot. 
James Reynolds 111 
Houston, Texas 


I support Geoffrey Norman's 
proposal to cap lawyers in- 
Comes. Let's start a grass roots 
organization to legislate and im- 
plement this idea immediately. 

A. Bristow 
New York, New York 


Geoffrey Norman's modest 
proposal to cap lawyers in- 
comes is a blatant, vicious attack 
on freedom. He prefers to turn 
lawyers into serfs along with 
doctors. Which profession will 
be next? Law is a crucial, legiti- 
mate practice in any civilized 
society. If there are too many 
lawyers today, it is because their 
services are in demand. The an- 
Swer is not. as Norman propos- 
es, to wipe out the remaining 
vestiges of freedom but rather 
to eliminate government in- 
fringements on freedom. 
Bennett Karp 
Aberdeen, New Jersey 


Norman's proposal to impose in- 
come caps on lawyers has tremendous 
appeal. No good is coming from the 
current orgy of avarice. The legal pro- 
fession is out of control, and contrary 
to their own proclamations, bar associ- 
ations appear to be unwilling or unable 
to enforce meaningful standards of 
conduct. It is obvious that lawyers are 
not going to protect the public they 
purport to serve. 

Claude D'Unger 

Corpus Christi, Texas 


sex. 


way)" 


FOR THE RECORD 


© VIRGINITY’S COMEBACK © 


“These days, there's nothing bold or innova- 
tive about saying you sleep around. What takes 
a lotof guts is to say you're a virgin. Virginity has 
become the new sexuality.” 

— BILL LANCASTER, A PRODUCER FOR Geraldo 


“We used to learn about sex in whispers and 
back alleys, and sometimes in books, but only by 
suggestion or insinuation. Now we can go to 
movies and see graphic sex. Now virgins can be 
worldly-wise and even knowledgeable about 

ч —DIANE ACKERMAN, AUTHOR OF 

A Natural History of Love 


“Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder. 

(You can go farther when you don't go all the 

——CAMPAIGN OF POSTER, PRINT AND 
TELEVISION ADVERTISEMENTS. 


"It gives other youths a place to look to and 
say, ‘We're not so odd. There are 100,000 other 
people who are not having sex. 

—ROB LADD, 18, OF NASHVILLE, A MEMBER OF TRUE 

LOVE WAITS CAMPAIGN, A GROUP OF 100000 
YOUNG SOUTHERN BAPTISTS WHO HAVE PLEDGED 


TO REMAIN CHASTE UNTIL MARRIAGE 


Why mot cap everyone's salary? 
"There is no reason why the president 
of any company should make more 
than the president of the United States. 
No physician should make more than 
the surgeon general. No prosecutor 
should make more than the attorney 
general. No businessman should make 
more than the secretary of the treasury. 
This lawyer is more than willing to cap 
his salary at the level of a Supreme 
Court justice, as long as everyone else's 
is capped, too. 

Richard Healy 

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 


Geoffrey Norman claims that 
an income cap will lead to 
shorter trials and lower contin- 
gency fees. Does he know that 
trial lengths depend on the 
complexity of the issue and the 
amount of evidence? Does he 
know that contingency fees al- 
low access to the courts by peo- 
ple who cannot afford hourly 
or fixed fees? The American 
system currently allows an in- 
nocent person to be executed if 
that person received procedur- 
al due process. Yet, Norman 
blames lawyers for high insu 
ance rates, the high price of sl 
lift tickets and the lack of div- 
ing boards at some municipal 
swimming pools. How do you 
draw the line between the peo- 
ple who hire lawyers and the 
lawyers themselves? 

Steven Langer 
Norman, Oklahoma 


OLD-TIME RELIGION 

The letter from G.C.S. of 
New Hampshire ("Reader Re- 
sponse,” The Playboy Forum, Au- 
gust) states: “What frightens 
me more than anything is the 
thought that any religion could 
have the power to shape our 
laws.” Has he or she heard of 
the Ten Commandments? Are 
the laws in America that make 
murder and robbery illegal in 
valid because of their religious 
roots? Is the 13th Amendment 
invalid because many abolition- 
ists opposed slavery on reli- 
gious grounds? Of course not. 
The drive to remove religion 
from all aspects of American 
public life has coincided with 
the country becoming more 
violent and lawless. 
Mike Holly 
Salina, Kansas 


THE POLITICS OF DESIRE 

As a doctoral student working in the 
area of sexual orientation, | commend 
PLAYBOY for presenting a reasoned po- 
sition on this subject in Pepper 
Schwartz’ article "The Politics of De- 
sire: Part Two" (The Playboy Forum, Ju- 
ly). The strength of Schwartz article is 
that it advocates the examination of 
both social and biological variables sur- 
rounding sexuality. Society influences 


R E 5 


who we desire and how we express 
those feelings. However, our bodies are 
biological and explanations of our de- 
sires must be sought within the flesh. 
Christopher Daskalos 
Tempe, Arizona 


PRIVACY UPDATE 

1 am impressed and also disillu- 
sioned by the article “Twenty Facts 
About Privacy” (The Playboy Forum, 
April). 1 can't believe there are no laws 
protecting medical, telephone, em- 
ployment, insurance, credit card or 
bank records. What is the scope of the 
Privacy Act? 

Joel A. Davis 
Phoenix, Arizona 

The original Privacy Ad of 1974 sought 
to protect personal information. It allowed 
one to challenge the accuracy of data held in 
a file and to demand redress when the data 
were used for unintended purposes. The act 
also provided for a permanent Privacy 
Board to investigate the privacy practices of 
federal, state and local government agen- 
cies. President Gerald Ford killed that provi- 
sion, making the U.S. the only industrial 
democracy without such a watchdog. The act 
now bans most electronic eavesdropping 
over phone and data lines (with the excep- 
tion of federal agencies and employers). Bul 
for the most рат, privacy is an illusion. Ex- 
isting laws protecting medical records and 
bank statements function like a see-through 
curtain. 

One of the computer magazines—as an 
experiment—found that personal and legal 
or financial data of high-profile people, such 
as movie producer George Lucas and “San 
Francisco Examiner” publisher William К 
Hearst III, were accessible. The magazine 
was able to find the subjects’ birth date, home 
address, Social Security number, neighbors' 
addresses and phone numbers, driving tec- 
ord, marriage record, biography, tax liens, 
real estate owned, commercial loans and 
debts, civil court filings and corporate ties. 
Feel any better? 

Privacy, barely a right, isn’t even а habit 
for most people. If you don’t want data to ex- 
ist for strangers, don't give it in the first 
place. This may be harder than you expect, 
but it is well worth the effort. Next time 
someone asks for your telephone number, say 
it's unlisted, or give 555-1212 


FAKED MOLESTATION 
The Playboy Forum has always had a 
sane perspective on sex abuse. Never 
has mass hysteria over claims of child 
molestation been more ludicrous than 


FORUM 
РО 


N, S E 


in the case of Chicago substitute 
teacher Albert Thompson. Thomp- 
son's unpopular strictness in the class- 
room prompted a group of fourth 
graders to fabricate a story accusing 
him of molestation. One student of- 
fered nine girls and one boy $1 each to 
report that the teacher had fondled 
them. The student eventually admitted 
that the stories were a hoax and that 
Thompson had not molested anyone. 
An investigation by the Mass Molesta- 
tion Task Force, the Chicago police de- 
partment and the Department of Child 
and Family Services concluded that 
Thompson had hit one or more stu- 
dents with a ruler to break up a fight 
that day and that security guards were 
called in twice to restore order, but that 
accusations of child molestation were 
groundless. Nevertheless, mothers of 
four of the girls who accused Thomp- 
son are threatening to file charges, 
claiming that their children are not ly- 


ing. Believe the children—even when 
they are twisted little extortionists? 

J. Brooks 

Chicago, Ulinois 

The child abuse hysteria—and the blind 

trust of parents who are told to believe the 
children—has created as many victims as it 
Sought to protect. One has to wonder at a so- 
ciety whose children play with the loaded 
gun of a false accusation, and destroy ca- 
твет5. Did they learn the power of the accu- 
sation from Stranger Danger classes, messy 
divorces and child custody hearings? From 
Oprah? From made-for-TV movies? This 
case shows the care that must be taken to pro- 
tect all parties in an investigation. 


We would like to hear your point of 
view. Send questions, information, opinions 
and quirky stuff to: The Playboy Forum 
Reader Response, PLAYBOY, 680 North 
Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, Illinois 60611. 
Fax number: 312-951-2939. E-mail: 
forum @playboy.com. 


е 


© 
2 
5 
8 
2 
m 
E 
5 
© 
© 
© 
ES 
© 
E 
3 


ко 


% 


1 year 


3 months 


iweek 1 evening 


Time Known 


THE AMERICAN SCIENTIST ON SEX 
“Willingness to hove sexuol intercourse (meosured on o scole from 3, definitely 
yes, to -3, definitely no) differs for men ond women with respect to the length of 
time they have been acquointed with their prospective mote. Although men and 
women ore equally likely to engage in sexuol intercourse ofter knowing o mate 
for five years (both responding with o score of about 2, probably yes), women are 
significontly less inclined to hove sex with a prospective mate for all shorter 
lengths of time. The dotc are based on a somple of 148 college students in the 
Midwestern United Stotes. The results support the hypothesis thot short-term 
moting is more importont for men thon for women." So whot else is new? 


51 


52 


T will the first amendment fall prey to a monopoly? 


Ninety minutes into the congres- 
sional hearing about how Ticketmas- 
ter had been able to keep America's 
most popular rock band off the road 
last summer, and nothing had been 
resolved. Pearl Jam bassist Jeff Ament 
seized the mike. “They told us we 
were going to be here, like, an hour,” 
he said, annoyed at the hostile ques- 
tions from a Republican congress- 
man. “Actually, I have to go to the 
bathroom. ГИ be right back.” With- 
out waiting for permission, he rose 
from the witness table and head- 
ed out to seek relief. 

It was a rock-star moment 
and the most sensible act of the 
day. I know, because I'd been sit- 
ting there crossing and uncross- 
ing my legs, waiting my turn asa 
witness. During recess I ran into 
guitarist Stone Gossard in the 
hearing room chambers and Са 
couldn't help asking, "Isn't 
this exactly like being called in 
to talk with the principal?" 

Last May, Pearl 
Jam complained 
to the Justice Depart- 
ments antitrust division. 
The band members charged 
that Ticketmaster (which sells 
tickets for most of the country's 
arenas at increasingly higher 
prices) had prevented them 
from touring last summer by 
refusing to meet the band's 
ceiling price for tickets at $18, with a 
service charge of $1.80. 

Their complaint centered on both 
a major business matter—the rising 
cost of concert tickets—and impor- 
tant First Amendment issues. From 
an artistic point of view, if there are 
no alternate venues or competing 
tour sites, there is no free expression. 
Whoever owns the stage calls the 
shots. Ticketmaster has an ironclad 
cartel. “This is not like selling pop- 
corn or peanuts or hot dogs at Madi- 
son Square Garden," said Robert 
Sacks, counsel for Pearl Jam. "People 
have a choice to buy or not to buy 
peanuts or popcorn. You cannot 
come to see Pearl Jam or any other 
band if you do not buy a ticket, and if 


By DAVE MARSH 


Ticketmaster is the only place you can 
get those tickets, then they have a 
lock on the market." 

Frank Barron of Cravath, Swaine & 
Moore, counsel for Ticketmaster, ar- 
gued that Ticketmaster doesn't set 
ticket prices. "It doesn't even have the 
power to set its own service charges. 
They are determined by way of nego- 
tiations with Ticketmaster's clients.” 

We, as consumers, also have a stake 


“This is not 
like selling popcorn 
or peanuts or hot 
dogs at Madison 


Square Garden. 
People have a choice 
to buy or not to buy 
peanuts or popcorn.” 


in this confrontation. Even if you at- 
tend only one or two concerts a year, 
you know what it's all about. In the 
past four years, surcharges, which not 
long ago averaged about one dollar a 
ticket, rose as much as 25 percent. 


“Ticketmaster slapped on service fees 
up to $10 per ticket (not per order) 
for last summer's Eagles tour. Added 
fees (such as parking, priced by the 
ticket rather than by the carload) 
mean that some shows carry service 
charges as high as 55 percent. Pro- 
moters and venues love this new 
profit center, particularly since artists 
rarely get a cut of it. Ticketron, which 
was Ticketmaster's only meaningful 
competitor, has been out of busi- 
ness since 1991. With the ap- 
proval of the Bush Justice De- 
partment, Ticketmaster bought 
"Ticketron's assets. 

I attended the hearing to rep- 
resent ticket buyers. The other 
witnesses were mainly band man- 
agers, led by Tim Collins of Aero- 
smith, who was able to insert a 
quote from Steven Tyler for the 
record ("Mussolini may have 
made the trains run on time, but 
not everyone could get a seat on 

that train"). All of them, along with 
Ticketmaster and the congress- 
men, Republicans and Democrats 
alike, wanted to reduce the issue 

to a business dispute. 
Getting tickets to the public at a 
fair price isn't just a business issue. 
Pop music is entertainment, but it's 
also culture. For a lot of us it's the 
most important culture, the only 
kind that speaks both to us and for 
us. By running up service charges, 
Ticketmaster, along with the venues 
and promoters that are its partners, 
are restricting access to this culture to 
those who can pay high premiums. 
Ticketmaster, which is owned by the 
same people who have a stake in 
America Online, would eventually 
like to sell tickets in cyberspace, which 
would make it a lot harder for most 
people to see the Grateful Dead, or 
R.E.M., or the Rolling Stones, ог, 
well, Pearl Jam. The result would 
make a joke of rock and roll, but 
more important, it would make a joke 

of the First Amendment. 


PLAYBOY music спас Dave Marsh tes- 
tified on. Ticketmaster service charges be- 
fore a congressional subcommittee in June. 


THE WORLD'S 
FAVORITE CLUB. 


Canadian Club, Blended Canadian Whisky, 40% alc./vol., Hiram Walker & Sons, Inc., Farmington Hills, MI 


зьатвот 


GET A LITTLE CLOSER" WITH NEW 


ARRID XX” CLEAR ANTI-PERSPIRANT. 


= 


A FRESHER, CLEANER WAY TO 
FIGHT WETNESS AND ODOR. 


24] SOLID AND GEL 


Reporter's Notebook 


OF GHETTOS AND GLADIATORS 


white fans watch black stars on teams coached, 
run and managed by whites. this is a model for society? 


Has America developed a gladiator 
class of black athletes who are superbly 
suited for sports but not much else? 
Have these muscular men been culled 
from a subject class in the manner ofan- 
cient Rome, to be handsomely rewarded 
while those who cannot make the grade 
are kept in misery? Are these men good 
for nothing but their short span of mock 
war called sport? 

Such thoughts came to me recently 
while I sat on a panel at a convention 
of sports writers. Something about the 
gathering seemed out of joint, but I 
couldn't place it at first. Then it hit me: 
The audience was, with very few excep- 
tions, white, Yet the athletes they write 
about are, for the most part, black. 

Last year 77 percent of the players in 
the NBA were black. In the NFL it was 
68 percent. Blacks represent 16 percent 
of major-league baxcball players, with 
Latinos providing an equal number. 

Unquestionably, this represents prog- 
ress from the days when bascball was 
segregated and other pro sports were 
similar, if less rigid, in their discrimina- 
tion. The problem is that blacks control 
sports only on the field, not in the media 
and the front office. 

How absurd that a nation that finds so 
little room for blacks in the mainstream 
of its social and commercial life gawks at 
and applauds every jump, thrust and 
blow of those it otherwise shuns. 

I have lived in southern California for 
years and have witnessed the casual rac- 
ism of some USC alums in every moment 
other than those Saturdays when what 
counts is the strength of black youth 
The fate of OJ. Simpson, the greatest 
Trojan of them all, is reality's revenge. 

Professional sports best reveal the 
wasted splendor of athleticism. It is 
where some people demonstrate incred- 
ible discipline and talent, but we refuse 
to connect this awesome display of pur- 
pose with the waste of those who fall so 
far behind. Excellence is expected of 
blacks on the field but not off. 

At the college level, white students 
cheer for black athletes, many of whom 
have learned little from their education 
other than how to qualify for the NFL or 
the NBA. The few who make it are idol- 
ized, those who don't are forgotten. 

In a society where nearly one in four 


Opinion By ROBERT SCHEER 


black males between the ages of 20 and 
29 has been in jail, where more than half 
of inner-city black youths are unem- 
ployed and where simply being born 
black and male means that on average 
you will live seven years less than a white 
male, thanks to violence and poverty, the 
allure of sports exploits the thin hopes of 
the young. As reported by the Center for 
the Study of Sport in Society at North- 
eastern University in Boston: 

“Sports become the cruel illusion for 
too many blacks who see the stars and 
the money. Forty-three percent of black 
high school athletes believe they can 
reach the promised land of the NBA, the 
NFL or major-league baseball. In reality, 
only one in 10,000 will. In pursuing the 
dream, 25 percent leave high school 
functionally illiterate.” 

Not only will they not play in the NBA, 
they will not even get to attend a game. 
Basketball is fast becoming the national 
pastime, but costly scason tickets are 
making it the spectator sport of the rich. 

The low earning power of blacks is 
predicted by the failure of inner-city 
schools to provide students with a mini- 
mal education. Despite the low standard 
required for NCAA recruiters—a grade- 
point average of 2.0 and a combined 
SAT score of 700—67 percent of blacks 
who graduate from high school do not 
qualify for an athletic scholarship. Of 
those who make it as fodder for Divi- 
sion I sports machines, less than half will 
graduate within six years. 

Nor do the big-time sports programs 
provide much of a model for black ath- 
letes in terms of careers outside of 
sports. Eighteen major college football 
powers (where approximately 80 per- 
cent of the starters are black) do not 
have a single black doctor or announcer 
connected with their sports programs, 
according to a recent study compiled by 
the Reverend Jesse Jackson's Rainbow 
Coalition for Fairness in Athletics. Even 
coaching positions are largely off-limits 
to blacks. For example, 65 percent of the 
football team at Florida State University 
is black, including Heisman Trophy- 
winning quarterback Charlie Ward, but 
only four people on the coaching and 
support staff—six percent—are black. 

The prospects for nonplaying jobs for 
blacks are not much better in the profes- 


sional sports industry, which has had a 
systematic, long-standing bias against al- 
lowing blacks to be anything other than 
gladiators. The situation has slowly im- 
proved in recent years, most notably in 
the hiring of minority coaches and man- 
agers, but the stats remain depressing, 
particularly for baseball. 

According to the Center for the Study 
of Sport, there are still 19 teams in 
major-league baseball that are without 
a minority person in top management. 
‘There are no minority team presidents. 

Discrimination extends to the periph- 
eral but lucrative jobs tied to pro sports. 
For example, the Northeastern study 
found that while 12 percent of NBA 
broadcasters are black, only five percent 
of radio and TV announcers in major- 
league baseball are black. The combined 
83 teams in the major sports boast only 
one minority senior club physician and 
two minority attorneys who are em- 
ployed as general counsel to a team. 

This past June the NAACP filed 
charges of “blatant” bias against the Dal- 
las Cowboys. Never mind that almost 
three fourths of the players who twice 
won the Super Bowl for Dallas are black 
and that all of the team’s 11 front-office 
positions are held by white males. The 
NAACP charges that there aren't even 
any minority vendors at Texas Stadium. 

The NAACP summed up its charges 
against the Cowboys in terms that define 
the racial contradiction of American 
sports: “We have all these Super Bowl 
parties, but look at what we party for. We 
have one black on the switchboard, one 
in the mail room and one security 
guard.” 

The Cowboys organization stated that 
in the past year it has shown improve- 
ment in filling vacancies with minorit 

Thanks to the NAACP and the Rain- 
bow Coalition, which has been picketing 
major-league parks, the pressure is on 
the owners. If the sports industry, where 
minorities can make such a visible con- 
tribution, can't do better, who can? ‘The 
current situation is an abomination. It's 
high time that the business of sports 
serve as a model for recruiting and train- 
ing blacks in roles other than that of 


gladiator. 


55 


Have you noticed finding a place to smoke 
is the hardest part of your job? 
For a great smoke, put in for a window office. 


BENSON «а HEDGES 100’s 
THE LENGTH YOU GO TO FOR PLEASURE 


Finally, a welcome sign for people who smoke. 
©) Coll 1-800-494-5444 for more information. 


Ръш Мон tne 1994 
5 mg "tar; 0.4 mg nicotine av. per cigarette by FTC method 


SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Quitting Smoking 


Now Greatly Reduces Serious Risks to Your Health. 


навотиткин: CHRISTIAN SLATER 


a candid conversation with generation x's best actor about sex on the set, 
his least favorite directors and his battles with 


mom, dad and the cops 


Christian Slater is breathing hard. It's 90 
degrees on a smog-alert afternoon at the 
Racquet Center in Studio City, where Slater 
is playing paddle tennis for the very first 
time. After two games he's winded and hangs 
his head between his knees. Slater is only 25 
years old, but he's learning that youth 
doesn't necessarily conquer everything—at 
least not when air pollution, nicotine, caf- 
feine and lack of exercise are involved. 

Slater can be forgiven a certain amount of 
hubris. He has beaten challenges consider- 
ably tougher than paddle tennis—including 
those of a dysfunctional family, alcoholism, 
jail time—and still emerged as an actor 
whom many consider to be Generalion X's 
James Dean. 

He catches his breath, typically unwilling 
to quil. “Let's go," he says, as he grips the 
wooden paddle tightly. And for the next hour 
he hustles mightily, not about to give in. He 
completes two sets and though he will ache 
all night he conceals the pain. Из his own 
Tittle “fuck you" to those who prophesy doom 
lo the few remaining Angelenos who don't 
hold their bodies to be shrines. 

There has always been something of a 
rebel about Slater. At 10 he went on the road 
singing “Gary, Indiana” in “The Music 
Man,” starring Dick Van Dyke, and by the 
time he returned home he was drinking hard 
liquor. He started smoking at 14, tried coke 


and other mind-altering substances and 
dropped out of high school before graduat- 
ing. He and his mother moved to Los Ange- 
les, where he lived with a girlfriend at 17 
and had two run-ins with the law (the sec- 
ond one landed him in jail and rehab). He is 
a recovering alcoholic who, since 1985, has 
managed to appear in 19 films and have af- 
fairs with a number of his leading ladies. 
His name has been above the title in a half 
dozen movies, and his two current films— 
“Interview With the Vampire” and “Murder 
in the First” —will undoubtedly ge! him in- 
creased notice. 

Slater's role as the interviewer of vampires 
came about when River Phoenix, who origi- 
nally had the part, died of a drug overdose 
just as filming began. Slater agreed to fill in 
only after deciding to donate his fee to char- 
ity. His other film, “Murder in the First,” is 
а true story about a young law (Slater) 
who defends a prisoner, played by Kevin Ba- 
cou, who murdered the man who put him in- 
to solitary confinement for three years in AL 
calraz. It’s a new, mature direction for the 
actor, who has already shown а chameleon- 
like ability to perform 

Often, Slaler's offscreen antics overshad- 
ow his work. In “The Legend of Billie Jean” 
he fell in love with his co-star, Helen Slater, 
who spurned the advances of the 15-year- 
old. By 16 he was making love to his 22- 


year-old Chilean co-star Valentina Vargas 
both on camera (simulated) and off (for real) 
while in Italy shooting “The Name of the 
Rose” with Sean Connery. His fast track to 
success speeded up when Francis Coppola 
cast him in “Tucker: The Man and His 
Dream,” starring Jeff Bridges. He became a 
cult figure when he followed “Tucker” with 
“Heathers,” where he played a murderous 
leen rebel disdainful of high school snobs 
and athletic heroes. Winona Ryder played 
his love interest and the two of them had a 
brief, widely reported fling during filming. 
Another teen rebel film, the critically ac- 
claimed “Pump Up the Volume,” solidified 
his cult following. 

He played a cowboy in “Young Guns I1," 
Robin Hood's long-lost brother in “Robin 
Hood: Prince of Thieves” with Kevin Cost- 
ner, Lucky Luciano in “Mobsters” and a San 
Francisco cop in “Kuffs,” where the device of 
talking directly into the camera was given a 
thumbs-down by most who saw it. But Slater 
bounced back, playing a shy and sensitive 
character who believes he has а baboow's 
heart in director Tony Bill's “Untamed 
Heart.” He followed that with “True Ro- 
mance,” а quirky, violent romp with extraor- 
dinary performances by Dennis Hopper, 
Gary Oldman, Christopher Walken and Pa- 
tricia Arqueite, with whom Slater had anoth- 
er of his quick attachments. He also had a 


“1 told the director, T'm not River Phoenix. 
I'm going lo approach this in a totally differ- 
ent way. If you really hate it, then we'll deal 
with that.’ After 1 told him, he just stayed out 
of my way.” 


“I thought that if 1 were famous I would fit 
in. When that started happening, people 
weren't dealing with me anymore, they were 
dealing with somebody famous. That's when 
the drinking started to run the show.” 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY MIZUNO 
“Tom Cruise is incredibly professional. Peo- 
ble work when he's around; no time is wast- 
ed. That's pretty amazing. He's also incredi- 
bly gorgeous, a really good-looking guy. 1 
guess this is my love letter to Tom 


57 


PLAYBOY 


58 


brief fling wilh supermodel Christy Turling- 
ton (with whom he appeared on the cover of 
"Harper's Bazaar,” becoming the first male 
to be featured on the cover since Steve Mc- 
Queen in 1968) 

Slater was born in Manhattan on August 
18, 1969. His parents” rocky marriage end- 
ed when he was just five. His father, an actor 
who now goes by the name Michael Gaius- 
borough, was the original Ryan in the TV 
soap opera “Ryan's Hope” and has ap- 
peared on the stage and in other television 
shows, but never with the kind of success his 
son has had. Slater's mother, Mary Jo Slater, 
is a casting agent (she currently works at 
MGM). Christian grew up surrounded by 
actors and the theater, When his mother ap- 
peared as a guest on “The Joe Franklin 
Show,” Christian, then nine, was spolted in 
the wings and called out onstage. Director 
Michael Kidd saw him and asked him to au- 
dition for “The Music Man.” 

Like many actors, Slater never felt secure 
about himself, and his offbeat family life on- 
ly heightened his insecurities. “I saw a lot 
of insanity when I was growing up,” he 


Slater has also appeared on TV; spending 
six months on “Ryan's Hope” and doing 
some after-school aud ИВО specials. He ap- 
peared onstage in "Oliver!" and, in 1982, 
with Nicol Williamson in “Macbeth.” A chil- 
dren’s play he directed, “The Laughter Epi- 
demic.” raised more than $200,000 for the 
Pediatric ALDS Foundation, 

Enamored by the legends of Hollywood 
past, Slater believed it was an actor's lot to 
be as wild and rebellious as one could, to live 
like Errol Flynn or Jack Nicholson, to expe- 
rience the all-night parties, the drugs, booze 
and women that came with the territory, and 
nol worry about tomorrow. [t was something 
he was good at—at least he was until De- 
cember 29, 1989, when he and a friend were 
speeding down Santa Monica Boulevard, ig- 
noring the police siren behind them. The 
chase eventually ended in an alley, when 
Slater jumped out of his Saab Turbo 900 
and tried lo scale a fence, kicking the cop 
who was trying to stop him. He was fined 
$1400, had his driver's license suspended 
for 18 months and spent ten days in jail. A 
rehab program came next. 

Slater says his wild years are now behind 
him. He just wants to concentrate on his ca- 
reer, his private life and his antique toy col- 
lection, The woman in Slater's life now is 
Nina Pelerson Huang, an actress and writer 
who lives with him in a secluded house in the 
Hollywood Hills. To find out how successful 
his new life is, PLAYBOY sent Contributing 
Editor Lawrence Grobel (who last interviewed 
Anthony Hopkins) to spend some time and 
play some ball with the star: Grobel's report: 

“How can you not like a guy who comes 
out in his white terryeloth robe, his hair un- 
combed, looking sleepy in the middle of the 
afternoon, lighting up a cigarette, gulping 
coffee, and saying, behind cheap purple-lens 
sunglasses, "I bet Marlon Brando never did 
his interview in his bathrobe’? 

“We talked outside by the pool for hours. 


Then he showed me his toy callection— 
dozens of model spaceships hanging from the 
ceiling, hundreds of "Star Wars’ and “Star 
Trek’ figures on shelves, framed posters of 
William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy, and 
old ‘Life’ covers of Spencer Tracy, Errol 
Flynn and Montgomery Clift. He was hav- 
ing a sound system installed so he could 
watch his favorite videos and feel every clase 
encounter of the outer-space kind. 
“Christian's an enormously likable char- 
acter, willing to try something new, like pad- 
dle tennis, even if it puls him at a disadvan- 
tage. He was also, as I found out, fearless 
and uncensored, willing to discuss the ups 
and downs of his life with unusual candor.” 


PLAYBOY: Just as you're turning from 
teen to adult star, the press has deemed 
that there is a new Christian who is 
markedly different from the old Chi 
tian. Richard Nixon was well into his 
presidency before the labels old and new 
appeared, and you're only 25. 

SLATER: It is kind of silly, isn’t it? But I 
never came out saying, “This is the 
new me.” 

PLAYBOY: 15 there а new you? 


“T always wanted to be 
the guy who would rush 
into the burning building 
and save the babe. Being 
a hero would be the 


coolest thing.” 


SLATER: Yeah, I feel separated from what 
1 was, more settled down, more comfort- 
able in my own skin. I'm able to focus 
more, but I’m at a strange point in my 
carcer. It's like I'm too old or too young 
for certain things, and these other guys 
are in their 30s, so I've been lying about 
my age. I tell people I'm 28 just to put 
them at ease. Most older people have the 
hardest time dealing with somebody 
who's 25, 

PLAYBOY. Are you talking about your 
competition? 

SLATER: The only ones I really think 
about now are Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise 
and Keanu Reeves. It's my competitive 
side, which 1 will have to deal with at 
some point. 

PLAYBOY: You worked with both Pitt and 
Cruise in Interview With the Vampire. 
Whose career would you most like to 
emulate? 

SLATER: Tom Cruise's career is just so or- 
ganized and so clean. He's a real busi- 
ness guy, and that is a direction I'd 
my career to move in. Whatever he does 
works. I've never been on a more orga- 
nized set. He comes out, he shoots for a 


set amount of time, and then he's out 
incredibly professio People 
work when he's around; no time is wast- 
ed. That's pretty amazing. He's also in- 
credibly gorgeous, a really good-looking 
guy. 1 guess this is my love letter to Tom 
Cruise. 

PLAYBOY: How well did you get to know 
him during the shooting of Interview? 
SLATER: We spent six hours together in a 
car the day we closed down the Golden 
Gate Bridge for a scene. He offered to fly 
me back to L.A. in his jet. He's really 
down-to-earth, but he's also very pri- 
vate, so there's a certain mystery about 
him. He's been lucky getting first look 
and first chance at projects that have 
built-in audiences, like The Firm and A 
Few Good Men, and now this one, which 
should be huge. 

PLAYBOY: What do you think of the con- 
troversy over Cruise being cast as the 
vampire? We know that the author, 
Anne Rice, was dead set against him. 
SLATER: Tom Cruise will most likely have 
the last laugh. My prediction is that it 
will have a $40 million opening. It's go- 
ing to have such publicity behind it, it'll 
be amazing. 

PLAYBOY: How much are you in the film? 
SLATER: 1 worked a total of about a week. 
I appear sporadically throughout the 
film. The majority of my dialogue is be- 
iween me and Brad, and the rest ap- 
pears at the end with Tom. 

PLAYBOY: How did you feel taking over 
the role of the interviewer after River 
Phoenix’ death? 

SLATER: I felt really uncomfortable about 
it. I had met Neil Jordan six months be- 
fore they started shooting because I was 
interested another role, that of Ar- 
mand. I really hated Jordan, to be hon- 
est with you, because he spent most of 
the interview on the phone. 1 was of- 
fended by that. I've since found out that 
he’s very shy and has a difficult time 
communicating. When Г heard that they 
wanted me for River Phoenix’ role, 1 
wanted no part of it. Then my agent sug- 
gested 1 donate the money to his chari- 
ties and ones that I'm involved with. 
PLAYBOY: Did you know Phoenix or share 
the same friends? 

SLATER: River and I didn't share any close 
friends other than Martha Plimpton. 1 
went to school with her, but I haven't 
spoken to her in four years. I don't real- 
ly go to the clubs and 1 don’t know any 
body he knew. 

PLAYBOY: How did his death affect you? 
SLATER: It provided a reminder of what 
my life could have been. Г was definitely 
heading in the same direction he was. 
After alcohol it could have been acid for 
me and then maybe try some heroin, 
which I think issome of the stuff that was 
found in his system. 

PLAYBOY: We'll get to your life shortly, but 
let's stay with River's death. It seemed to 
have shocked so many people. 

SLATER: There was a massive case of 


HIGH TECHNOLOGY 
WITHOUT THE 
HIGH ANXIETY 


How To BRING HOME 
THE RIGHT 


ALL YOU HAVE TO KNOW ABOUT 
HOME THEATER RECEIVERS IS ONE 


NAME. TECHNICS. TAKE OUR NEW The reino controls aber 
Tecbnies audio compo 

2 ? mous and mos brand- 
em SA-GX770. IT’S POWERFUL. IT'S name ideo components 
The Class и» атр 
sends equal power io 
all the channels for 
optimum bome theater 
sound. 


HPY 


No sound? Touch the 
help key and a TECHNICS HOME THEATER RECEIVER. 
scrolling display pin 

points the problem 

ана offers а solution YOU'LL GIVE IT TWO THUMBS UP. 


UTR ет. А 
Tachnics’ n 


The science of sound med 85 


The our impedance such 
Бер prevent blowing or 
damaging your speakers 


Dony ма те ооизе 0 nytt are acen or Союу Lantern Co Ww 


PLAYBOY 


denial going on there. If he had been 
open enough to step inside an AA meet- 
ing, he'd still be here. Members of his 
family are strong believers in spirituality, 
and in order to deal with the pain they 
believe that River is in the air and in the 
water and all around. 

PLAYBOY: When you came on the set as 
his replacement, did you have any prob- 
lems with anyone? 

SLATER: The director had a clear vision of 
what he wanted River to look like and he 
started taking my hair and pushing it to 
the side, really manhandling me. I just 
hate to be handled. You get in my space, 
it drives me nuts. I told him, “Neil, I'm 
not River Phoenix. I’m going to ap- 
proach this in a totally different way. I'm 
in this movie with Tom Cruise and Brad 
Pitt and I'd like to do the best job I pos- 
sibly can and ГА like you to allow me to 
do that. Let me do my look. If you really 
hate it, then we'll deal with that.” After I 
told him he just stayed out of my way 
and that made my job easier. 

PLAYBOY: You have another film coming 
ош, Murder in the First, in which you play 
the lead. 

SLATER; Right. It’s more of an adult-type 
film for me. I play this guy just out oflaw 
school who works at this law firm that his 
brother runs. He gets this open-and- 
shut case, his first, but things begin to 
happen. It's about the atrocities per- 
formed at Alcatraz and how that place 
was shut down. It's maybe а miniversion 
of Judgment at Nuremberg. 

PLAYBOY: Sounds like this might be your 
A Few Good Men. 

SLATER: I'm sure there will be compar- 
isons, but they're not the same. Cruise's 
character was a hotshot, cocky guy. I'ma 
nervous guy who's trying on this new 
pair of shoes as he walks into the killer's 
cell. It's about the relationship between 
me and this convict who's been so brutal- 
ized by the system. 

PLAYBOY: How did you get along with 
Kevin Bacon, who plays a convict placed 
in solitary for three years who then kills 
the man who put him there? 

SLATER: He's going to surprise a lot of 
people. He's a genius in this. I was being 
considered for that part but I really 
didn’t want to play it. The reason I took 
Murder in the First was that I felt the char- 
acter I play gave me the opportunity to 
show a different side. I hope it's a much 
more intelligent, mature side. 

PLAYBOY: You're no stranger to odd 
behavior. Did you have any blowups on 
the set? 

SLATER: We shot at Alcatraz for three 
weeks. What a nightmare that was. You 
had to take a ferry to get there. They 
couldn't bring trailers out, so they set up 
cells for each of the actors to stay in. 1 
had a cell for three weeks and spent a lot 
of time sitting around waiting because of 
these elaborate camera shots. That was 
frustrating. I'd already done my jail time 


co five years ago. I didn’t need to do апу 


more. I made the mistake of not bring- 
ing enough cigarettes and I asked my 
friend to get me another pack. He came 
back and said there weren't any more 
and that the line producer said 1 made 
enough money to buy my own. Here I 
am on this island —there's no cigarette 
store there. There's no way for me to get. 
a smoke. And if I'm going to sit in this 
goddamn cell, I'm going to smoke! I was 
blown away by the incredible stupidity 
of that comment. So I got out of the 
wardrobe I'd been in for nine hours and 
said, “Fuck these guys. I'm going to the 
fucking mainland, buy my cigarettes and 
I might come back." 1 figured 1 would 
teach them a little lesson, because it was 
so rude. So I took the ferry and got my 
cigarettes and came back. The director, 
Marc Rocco, gave me this incredible atti- 
tude. He thought I was trying to screw 
his movie. 

PLAYBOY: What happened then? 

SLATER: We had to reshoot a scene for the 
television version, without the curses. 
We didn't have to do another setup, just 
put the camera in the same place. But 
for some reason it took a long time and 
we wound up sitting there again. I lost it. 
I started screaming and yelling, “What 
the fuck is the holdup here?” Because we 
had all been on this island for three 
weeks and we just wanted to get off the 
goddamn island. Marc said, "Tm not 
ready to shoot yet.” And I said, “You 
have to be ready, you have to say, 
"Holling!" And he did, quietly, say, 
‘Rolling.’ We had the weekend to think 
about all this and when we got back we 
straightened everything out. 

PLAYBOY: Prison life can do that to you. 
SLATER: Oh, another charming thing 
about our stay: There were no toilets, 
just one Porta-Potti for all of us. So we 
were all peeing in Evian bottles. Kevin 
Bacon came up with that idea. You drink 
the Evian and then you fill it up again. 
PLAYBOY: Did you cut the tops to make it 
easier? 

SLATER: No, we peed in the little hole. It 
was very tricky. 

PLAYBOY: Weren't you also filming in Syl- 
mar, near Northridge, when the earth- 
quake struck? 

SLATER: We were near the epicenter. It 
was horrifying. I was walking back to my 
trailer when the whole place started 
shaking. Gary Oldman came running off 
the set with a cut on his face. His manag- 
er broke his arm. That thing was insane. 
I saw 400 extras piling out of this door- 
way; women were crying, screaming, I 
was hugging a couple of them. The carth 
shook for 20 minutes afterward and I 
said to my friend, "Let's get the hell out 
of here.” 

PLAYBOY: Who was the first person you 
called? 

SLATER: My girlfriend, Nina. We were 
working things out and that carthquake 
was perfect for me, because I was able to 
get in my Bronco and rescue her and 


her friends. We drove up to this ranch in 
the middle of nowhere, just to get out of 
L.A. I was a hero for about a week. 
PLAYBOY: A hero is the part you've fanta- 
sized all your life, isn't it? 

SLATER: Yeah, I always wanted to be the 
guy who would rush into the burning 
building and save the babe. 1 thought to 
be a hero would be the coolest thing. A 
few years ago on Halloween my friends 
and I went to this club, Roxbury, and I 
was wearing my Batman outfit. We left 
and I saw a guy beating up on this chick. 
I took my mask off and yelled, "Stop!" I 
looked like a ninja. I ran across the 
street, jumped on a car and came down 
on this guy. The wig fell off the woman 
he was beating up and it turned out to be 
a man, who took off his high heels and 
started whaling on this other guy. I 
didn't know what was going on, so I just 
let them beat the shit out of each other. 
PLAYBOY: So being a hero wasn't all you 
thought it would be? 

SLATER: When I was growing up I 
thought I was the bionic man. I'd say, 
“I'm going to chop off my legs and get 
bionic legs so I can really run fast.” My 
father would say, "Take it easy. That's 
TY, that's not real life, man. Keep it in 
perspective." TV can be very misleading 
toa kid. 

PLAYBOY: Especially when your father is 
on it. 

SLATER: When I was about three, I was 
sitting on his lap watching him on this 
soap opera, Love ls a Many Splendored 
Thing. | see that he gets his head stuck in 
a fireplace or an oven and he's writhing 
in pain and I don't know what the hell is 
going on. I screamed. He just said, "It's 
all acing." He explained it to me. Man, 
it was freaky. 

PLAYBOY: But it didn't stop you from. 
wanting to be a superhero, did it? 
SLATER: I once got locked on the roof 
when I was five. My father would sun- 
bathe on the roof in New York, 86th and 
West End. 1 would go up there in my 
Batman cape and try to scare him. One 
time I hid too long and he went down- 
stairs and locked the door. I was on the 
roof for a good three hours, 1 couldn't 
get down, and so I took this daring leap 
to the other building. 1 found a door 
that was open to an elevator shaft and 
yelled down and somebody heard me. 
PLAYBOY: What did your parents do when 
they found out you had jumped to the 
other roof? 

SLATER: My mother had already called 
the police and was really freaked. My fa- 
ther was just happy that I had survived. 
They were having their own difficulties 
at the time and that was onc of the things 
that. really widened the gulf between 
them. She felt he was irresponsible. 
PLAYBOY: Soon айсг that they divorced. 
Did you feel you had to take sides be- 
tween them? 

SLATER: I tried to be the therapist some- 
times, sitting between them so they 


could talk it out. I remember some 
volatile moments with hands going 
through lamps, smashing everywhere. 
But it always seemed so beyond real that 
it had to be acting. There was so much 
drama going on and there were so many 
buttons pushed and so many manipula- 
tions, it had to be a soap opera. But 
there was no reason for a five-year-old to 
be in the middle of some fucking devas- 
tating situation. All a kid needs to know 
is, "Its nothing to do with you." After 
their divorce I was insecure everywhere 
I went. 

PLAYBOY. Did your mother ever talk to 
you about acting? 

SLATER: Just her telling me how hideous a 
profession it was, how difficult it can be, 
and using my father as an example of 
the struggle. 

PLAYBOY: Even though you started acting 
when you were nine, your mother didn't 
push you? 

SLATER: If a parent pushes a kid into this 
business, the kid resents it. If I said my 
mother pushed me, people would take 
pity on me. She didn't push me, it was 
my choice completely. Now she fecls that 
not cnough credit is being given to her 
at this point. 

PLAYBOY: Your father fecls the same way. 
He claims full credit for your success, ас- 
cording to a leiter he sent to Premiere 
magazine. He wrote that he's your 
superego and he made you a star, and 
that when he’s dead maybe you'll give 
him the credit he deserves. 

SLATER: I spoke to him about it. He said 
he had sent them a 12-page leuer and 
they cut it down. My father's way of com- 
municating is to write letters. 

PLAYBOY: That seems like a strange leuer 
for him to write. 

SLATER: I think that's part of the reason I 
have trouble drawing the line between 
my private and professional life. Those 
boundaries have not been clearly estab- 
lished for me. I have to start drawing 
some boundaries. 

PLAYBOY: Would you include your par- 
ents among the people you trust and feel 
closest to? 

SLATER: Not at this point. 

PLAYBOY: When was the last time you 
were with your father? 

SLATER: We talk all the time. I took him to 
the Barbra Streisand concert. He pulled 
out a toothbrush and started brushing 
his teeth in the auditorium in front of 
everybody. Who knows, I may steal that 
one day and do it in a film. When it's 
one-on-one I can deal with him. But as 
soon as a woman comes around, my fa- 
ther gets competitive with me. We were 
sitting at the concert and I was eating ice 
cream and he vas talking with this girl, 
ignoring me. Then he turned around 
and, loud enough for several people to 
hear, he said, “If you finish that I'm go- 
ing to Kill you!" Fuck, man, take it easy. 
It made me horribly uncomfortable 
PLAYBOY: That's understandable. 


What doyouengy dang on Saturdays? Whatever its, we hope t includes а sp of Tennessee Whiskey. 


SATURDAYS in Jack Daniel’s country are for 


old friends, familiar places and good conversation. 


Some head off to Mulberry Creek in search of 
smallmouth bass. Some get together to barbecue. 
And a few always seem to gather at Clark’s 
Store. There they'll speak profoundly on any 
number of subjects, including the 
oldtime way we make whiskey here 
in the Tennessee hills. Talking with 
friends about Jack Daniel’s is one fine 
way to pass an autumn Saturday. 
Sipping it with friends, we believe, 
is another. 


SMOOTH SIPPIN’ 
TENNESSEE WHISKEY 


Tennessee Whiskey * 40-43% alcohol Ly volume (80-86 proof)» Distilled and Bottled by 
Jack Daniel Distilery, Lem Motiow, Proprietor, Route 1, Lynchburg (Pop 361), Tennessee 37352 


Placed in the National Register of Historic Places by the United States Government el 


FEES FO TF 


Eorth, wind nd fire are all fine, in 
their BET But it's elemontary, 
Watson, which element crests ta 
the top. Dozens of the world's 
most beautiful merma 


Wom 


discover Ди 
f REIS 


13.9494: 
OR, ORDER TOLL-FREE uei Hed 


Sory, то oer fore 
Ene TO. Box 80% 
orco inca 013-0809. 


AT NEWSSTANDS 
NOW 


слова Playboy 


Charge to your Viso, MasterCard, Oplimo, American Express. 
‚or Discover. Most orders shipped within 48 hours. 
(Source Code: 49572) 


please add $3.00 additional per video. Sorry, no other foreign orders or currency accepted. 


PLAYBOY 
Celebrity Centerfold Video 
La Toya Jackson 
$19.95 


La Toya stars in her own Celebrity 
Centerfold video, featuring never- 
before-seen footage and erotic 
adventures. She'll take you on a 
daring horseback ride, into the 
recording studio for the sexiest 
session on record, and behind 

the scenes for a dazzling dance 
sequence. Plus, you'll meet the real 
La Toya in candid interviews as she 
talks about her unusual childhood, 
her personal life and her aspirations 
for the future. VHS. Approx. 55 min. 
Item #XG1729V $19.95 


Order By Mail 


Use your credit card and be sure to Include your account 
number and oxpiration date. Or endese a check or money 
‚order payable to Playboy. Mail to Playboy, Р.О. Box 809, 
Dept. 49572, ltasco, Illinois 60143-0809. 


Order Toll-Free 
1-800-423-9494 


There is a $4.00 shipping and handling charge per total order. Ilinois residents add 6.75% sales tax. Canadian residents 


© 1994 илья 


Also available at your local video and music stores. 


SLATER: 1 remember he always used to al- 
low me to win at chess. | never realized 
that, I always thought I was good. Then 
one time he had this girlfriend in Chica- 
go and I said, "Let's play chess," and he 
beat the shit out of me right in front of 
her. Man, it was humiliating. After years 
of losing, all ofa sudden he pulls out the 
stops and destroys me. I was upset. I felt 
like an asshole 

PLAYBOY: So what word would you use to 
describe him? 

SLATER: Colorful. He's in his late 50s, and 
he's a fantastic actor. He does a lot of 
small theater around Los Angeles. He's 
entertaining and full of life. 

PLAYBOY: Was your mother right to as- 
sume that as your career grew, she 
would manage you? 

SLATER: My mother's favorite movie is 
Gypsy. That was her dream. Her plans 
were to manage my carcer and run the 
show, to tell me what types of projects to 
do, basically run my life and produce the 
films that I do and have this incredible 
family partnership. One of the things 
that didn't factor into her equation is 
that eventually I would require some in- 
dependence for myself. It never oc- 
curred to her. She couldn't believe, and 
still doesn’t believe, that I don't need 
anything from her. Whereas 1 feel that 
she has raised somebody who is capable 
of taking care of himself, rather than 
having to go back to Mom and say, 
“Please bail me out of this situation.” If 1 
were that type of person Ud still be 
drinking and getting arrested 

PLAYBOY: What is it that you would like 
from her? 

SLATER: Ideally, I would like for her to be 
proud of me. It hasn't all gone her way. 
A part of me feels guilty about that, like 
maybe 1 do owe her everything. 
PLAYBOY: Did you used to sit in during 
auditions and watch as your mother cast 
people? 

SLATER; Yeah, I would watch the actors 
and see what it was like after they left the 
room. That was pretty heavy, listening to 
those people be talked about after they 
were gone. Which is why I hate to take 
meetings, because nobody is really hon- 
est. Everybody is going to go off and talk 
about you behind your back. 

PLAYBOY: Did she prepare you to deal 
with the dark side of Hollywood? 

SLATER: 1 don’t know if she really wanted 
to prepare me fully, because that would 
have given her no power over me. 
PLAYBOY. What was the subtext to her 
telling Rolling Stone that girls are your 
major hobby? 

SLATER: Isn't that unreal? Maybe she was 
right. I had such a lack of respect for 
women that I just treated them as a hob 
by, trying to live up to the supposed im- 
age of Jack Nicholson and all those guys 
who were womanizers. Because if I have 
women as a hobby, my mother will al- 
ways be number one, you know? If I 
take another woman seriously and have 


Stephen King is an original when it comes GRAB ALL THE HORROR YOU WAN 


to bone-chilling, nail-biting terror. Now 7 
you can make sure you don’t miss out on IT’S EASY WITH THE 


a single spooky word — with the Stephen 
King Library. It features original 
hardcover editions, many impossible to 
ee LIBRARY 
off bookstore prices. 


find elsewhere. 
A different King book will arrive about every 6 weeks, each Start with Insomnia 


with a 10-day free trial, and with no obligation — ever — to buy. 
Collect them all — from the classics that inspired the big-screen for just 
hits Carrie, The Shining and Misery to pure thrillers like Gerald's 
Game, The Stand. Dolores Claiborne and “Salem's Lot. Ws a true 
horror fan's dream! Imagine owning the most terrifying fiction 
ever conceived, in an original hardcover collection you'll be 
proud к 3 isplay. You'll have the chance s us EE k, 

which titles you're interested in receiving. Plus, you'll be among + + 
the first to receive King's new books as pem as they're published! no obligation 
And each volume you decide to keep is priced at just $14.95, to buy more. 
plu: ping and handling — a deep 
discount off publishers’ prices 


No risk, no commitment, 
no minimum to buy — ever! 


Special offer for thrill seekers! 
ап with King's latest blockbuster, Insomnia. for 10 days = 
avor every word of this best-selling novel of horror — 
one of King's best! If you decide to keep it after your 10-day 
trial, just pay the low price of $7.95, plus shipping and handling 
(retail: $27.95) as your introduction to the Stephen King Library. 
Then sit back and let the terror come to you. 


the fri gi 
Insomnia — yours FREE for 10 
days. Don’t delay! Send in 
the coupon below! 


YES! пілоні for a moss 10-чу FREE wil 1C1 keep i, pay just 795, pls shipping 
and handling, | understand that you'll send me a list of titles on which I can indicate the King 
books I want to receive books in the series will arrive approximately every 6 weeks, and may be reviewed 
for 10 days with no obli to buy. I vill be billed a low $14.95, plus shipping and handling, for each 


automatically cancelled, and I'll be under no further obligation. 
Name = SK143-11-0 


рт Е 
Ape 


2р 
phone? O) YES O No Send no money now! 

ight anything by mail in the past? С) VES. C) NO Allon ect io pres Pros sabio 

paid for your mail-order purchases? (Check all that an.) cap Te Senhe Ky Livan sado 

пази Г] CREDIT CARD. O CHECK С MONEY ORDER Book ofthe Moet Cub, ne Отен BMC 4482 


— — Stile, 


PLATS OT 


64 


respect for her, my mother would be 
forced to let go. So that's a statement of 
a woman completely unwilling to sepa- 
rate. “Let's keep lots of women around 
so things stay as distracted as possible 
and I can pull the strings.” 

PLAYBOY: Has any woman you've been 
with met with her approval? 

SLATER: I guess a princess is what she sees 
for me. Of course, I feel like 1 am with a 
princess now because a princess is a per- 
son who is honest and straight up and 
can be trusted beyond belief. But to her 
a princess may be Madonna, somebody 
famous, somebody in my profession, at 
least as wealthy. 

PLAYBOY: Madonna? What kind of moth- 
er would wish a woman like Madonna on 
her son? Is she trying to kill you? 

SLATER: My mother is 
envious of the rela- 
tionship Elvis Presley 
had with his mother, 
and the relationship 
River Phoenix had 
with his mother. OK? 
They're both dead! 1 
told her I'd much 
rather have the rela- 
tionship we have to- 
day than the ones 
they did. 

PLAYBOY: What about 
the men in your 
mother's life after her 
first divorce? How'd 
you deal with Ша? 
SLATER: With a lot of 
the guys my mother 
dated, ГА come home 
and they would be si 
ting in the closet cut- 
ting up the clothes. 1 
mean, manic, crazy 
shit. This was the stuff 
I was seeing. There 
were certainly а cou- 
ple of guys who were 
just blatant assholes. 
But it was difficult for 
the men, because my 
mother put so much 
attention on me and 
treated me like the golden boy. She 
spoiled me rotten. | never had any disci- 
pline growing up and 1 had Mom 
wrapped around my finger Naturally 
guys would get jealous and fight for at- 
tention. A lot of them were hideously im- 
mature. So Гуе had to do a lot to get that 
stuff out of my system. 

PLAYBOY: Did any of her boyfriends ever 
provoke you into violence? 

SLATER: I slugged one of them once when 
I was 14. It was another of those guys 
who was trying to discipline me and get 
me to behave a certain way. I had no re- 
spect for this guy. We'd make fun of each 
other all the time, brutalize each other. 
He had this dart and had unscrewed the 
sharp point, but 1 didn't know that. He 
fucking chucked it at me and I thought 


YEEEEQOOOW. 


he was trying to kill me. | think a part of 
him really wanted to. So I just whaled 
him right in the kidneys. I'm lucky I'm 
still here to talk about it because he was a 
big guy. 

PLAYBOY: Your mother remarried twice 
after your father. How did you feel at the 
time of each marriage? 


J was a mess, re- 
ally drunk, flirting with the bridesmaids 
She wanted to marry to give my brother 
a legitimate name, which is Wilson. And 
now his last name is Slater, you know? So 
1 don't know what the hell the marriage 
was for, really. The third one was right 
before 1 went off to do Robin Hood, so 
I was at a sober stage of my life. I like 
this guy. 

PLAYBOY. Didn't your brother Ryan re- 


“Grits? 
-Тт Allen 


So What Do You Put It On? 


cently get cast in his first feature film? 
SLATER: Yeah, he's 11. It's a Warner Bros. 
movie called Little Panda and he's the 
lead. He went to the Himalayas for 
about three months. My mother's han- 
dling his career, so I guess she's doing a 
little transference deal. It's bizarre. My 
brother said to me, “You'd better watch 
out because I'm coming up." I just said, 
“I couldn't be more proud of you than I 
am. I wish you all the best. I just hope 
you don't get competitive with me now. I 
wouldn't want it to ruin the relationship 
that we have developed over the years." 
The fact that my brother is coming up is 
really helping me to realize that you 
have to make space for everybody, you 
can't be competitive and insane about it 
PLAYBOY: When you say your mother's 


TABASCO. 


doing a transference deal, do you mean 
she is picking up with him where she left 
off with you? 
Slater: Right. The night before ће got 
the movie she asked me to go to therapy 
with her. Then after Ryan got the movie 
I didn't hear from her. Either I'm Elvis 
Presley or River Phoenix or I'm 14 years 
old. And if I can't be 14, Ryan will be. 
PLAYBOY: It sounds like there's a lot of 
residual anger that has built up since 
your parents divorced. Did you take out 
that anger on them as you were grow- 
ing up? 
SLATER: How was 1 going to direct my 
anger at my mother or my father when 
maybe I already lost one of them and I 
may lose the other one? It was a tricky 
situation. A lot of my anger got mis- 
placed and was direct- 
ed at kids in school 
and at teachers, when 
I would say, “Excuse 
me, I'm talking, don't 
interrupt me!” 
PLAYBOY: Is it true that 
you used to sob and 
cry because you had 
to go to school? 
SLATER: When 1 was 
younger. I used to 
latch on to my moth- 
ers leg because | 
didn’t want to be put 
оп the school bus. 
PLAYBOY: Why did you 
hate school so much? 
SLATER: It didn't work 
for me. 1 wasn't very 
good at it. It wasn't 
fun. It was a source of 
punishment. 
PLAYBOY: What about 
friends? 
SLATER: I had one 
friend who stabbed 
me in the arm with a 
pencil because I was 
flirting with a girl and 
he was jcalous. 1 still 
have the mark. And 
I had one strong 
^" friendship with this 
other guy. He was Han Solo and I was 
Luke Skywalker, or I was Flash Gordon 
and he was the Baron. We were always 
playing action heroes. Then I went off to 
do The Legend of Billie Jean and when 1 
came back my attitude had changed dra- 
matically. 1 was wearing a snakeskin jack- 
et and sunglasses. My hair was all spiked 
and dyed, and I was working on being 
an unbelievable punk, rebelling against 
school completely. trying to be a badass. 
I'd light up cigarettes in class and get 
thrown out. I got suspended for three 
days. I just didn't care. 
PLAYBOY: Did you ever get into fights? 
SLATER: Not really, though I had a roving 
eye and I got popped for it once, a good 
belt to the head. I learned a pretty good 
lesson: Guys have to stick together—we 


INTRODUCING CORD-FREE SOLO 4 


The World's First Cordless 
Radar+Laser Detector. 


md 


? Solo 4 is the world’s first battery-powered radar+laser 


влизане “elector. Cord-free Convenience Nothing is easier 


batteresprovide to use than cord-free Solo 4. Since no cord is required to 
must drivers with ааа ~ 
months of ase. power it, Solo 4 is in radar-+laser detection mode as soon as 


Portable, cord-free Solo 4 is the 
you place it on your windshield and tum it on. Full Radar+Laser perfect choice when traveling 


Protection Solo 4 provides long-range detection for every type of radar and а ес 
laser used today. If it's traffic radar or laser, Solo 4 detects it. And does so better than any other 
detector. Perfect For Trips Cord-free Solo 4 is completely portable so it's perfect for long trips 

and rental car use. But you'll also appreciate its cordless convenience for everyday driving. Auto 
Shut-Off Solo 4 is smart. To conserve battery life, Solo 4 will 


automatically turn itself off, if you forget. Patented Technol- 
ogy Escort holds the patent for battery-powered detection design. 


Open 24 bours a day, 7 daysa week 


We're the industry leader in detection technology. Best Detector 5010" 4 $249 
ъа Ever Guarantee [sou areq absolutely plus shipping & handling. ОМ es. add 6% sales tax. 
HERES solo 4s ie 7 : mee Fa . 
frontpanel — delighted with your Solo 4, return it within ESCORT 


А > Department3007N4 
0 days for a refund. Solo 4: another 5200 Fields-Ertel Road 
Cincinnati, Ohio 45249 


indicateswhich , 
type of radar or > 
laser signalis detector first, from the company that’s made 


detected аи a 
a business of being first...again and again. ESCORT 
Д 


The Innovative Edge” 


30-Dav MONEY Back GUARANTEE 


Solos is made at our factory in Cincinnati, Ohio, 


PLAYBOY 


66 


Ultimate Pleasure Anyone? 
1-900-740-5588 


Only $3 a minute-18 yrs. or older 


HOTLINE ALSO AVAILABLE BY CALLING 


1-800-949-6000 
MasterCard and Visa only 


Delightful Dian 
“Secret passions...sexy surprises... 
FII share it all, when you call." 


EIPLAYBOY'S 
SUPER HOTLINE 


“Hi, I'm Pam Anderson. Let 
my Playmate iriends tell you 


how you can wake up with a 
smile. Your favorite WAKE- 
MATE will whisper in your 
ear—any time.” 


Your favorite WAKE-MATES want you! 


* Two calls required for Playmate voce-maibox andlor wake-up call 


Sexy Miss November 
Donna Perry 
Wants To Drive You Wild 


“Snuggle up with meand my Playmate 
friends. Then let's get even closer on 
our private voice-mail for two."* 


© 1994 Playboy. A Product ol Playboy. 650 North Lake Store Drive, Chicago 1/60611.Notavalable in DA. | 


can't be fucking one another over. I was 
definitely acting out of blatant selfish- 
ness and immaturity and I paid a little 
price for it. The guy was a boxer and 1 
came at him with my head as my fist, my 
позе leading the way. I have a deviated 
septum to this day. 

PLAYBOY. Did your teachers suspect you 
of dealing drugs? 

SLATER: At one point they really did be- 
lieve I was doing that. 

PLAYEOY: Were you? 

SLATER: | tried. I tried to be cool and fit in 
at one point, but it wasn't really for me. 1 
was walking around with the tinfoil, the 
whole thing. 

PLAYBOY: What was in the foil? 

SLATER: Coke. 

PLAYBOY: How did you get it? 

SLATER: It was always there and always 
available. 

PLAYBOY When did you drop out of 
school? 

SLATER: At 17. My father called and said, 
“J don't want you ever to regret that you 
didn't graduate.” That calmed me down 
right away. 

PLAYBOY: What about sex? When did you 
lose your virginity? 

SLATER: Now wait, this is my love life 
here. Let’s talk about your virginity, not 
about mine. 

PLAYBOY: Let's stay with yours. 

SLATER: No, I don't want to. 

PLAYBOY: Some of it's public knowledge: 


You were 14, on a film, it was in a col- 
lege dorm — 

SLATER: Exactly, so what more can I say? 
PLAYBOY: Well, you never went to college. 
SLATER: That's right. 

PLAYBOY: What film was it? 

SLATER: God, I don't remember. 

PLAYBOY: What city was it? 

SLATER: 1 don't remember. 

PLAYBOY: Sure you do. 

SLATER: No, I swear to you. None of that 
stuff was the highlight of it. 

PLaYBOY: Did your personality change 
afterward? 

SLATER: I was thrilled, no question. 
PLAYEOY: Were you able to talk about it 
with anyone? 

SLATER: | called my friend who had 
stabbed me with the pencil. He wasn't 
that impressed. I guess he had already 
done it. 

PLAYBOY: Was the girl also a virgin? And 
did you see her again? 
SLATER: She was slightly experienced, 
she'd done it. I saw her again, it wasn't a 
one-night thing. 

PLAYBOY: Was it something you had had 
оп your mind for years? 

SLATER: Yeah, definitely. Ever since I was 
five or six and modeled clothes for 
Pierre Cardin. I remember being back- 
stage, spying on the girls changing, and 
1 could see everything. They would have 
on these stockings with no underwear— 
you could see right through the stock- 


ings. It was great. I was exposed to a 
great deal there. After that it was 
definitely important, obsessive. But I 
wish I could have held out longer, be- 
cause once you do it, it's over, it’s done, 
that's it. 

PLAYBOY: There can never again be a first 
time, but surely one can be adventurous 
when it comes to sex. 

SLATER: I've had phases of things that I've 
gone through, and 1 have a good time. I 
have the greatest sex in the world now. 
When you're with somebody and you re- 
ally know the person and you're com- 
fortable, nothing beats it. Still, I'm real 
nervous about sex—it could just be the 
disease thing, because you never know, 
something could be incubating. AIDS 
changed my whole perspective. It forced 
me to deal with issues that 1 probably 
wouldn't have had to deal with until I 
was 35 or 40, like settling down. It's a 
motivator. 

PLAYEOY: Do you practice sale sex? 
SLATER: I have, yeah. And I've been fool- 
ish too, thinking that I'm invincible. 

Did you feel you were born to 
Were you trying to live up to the 


SLATER: | was trying to live up to the leg- 
ends of James Dean, Roman Polanski, 
you know, that you have to live fast, die 
young and leave a good-looking corpse. 
That was something 1 believed in strong- 
ly. But since then my opinions about it 


have changed dramatically. It's imma- 
ture and silly to behave recklessly, with 
out any regard for anybody else's feel- 
ings. It leads to misery. You either die 
like River Phoenix or you do your best to 
get through it as smoothly as possible 
and keep chugging till you get to 30. 
Fortunately Гуе had some people 
around me that helped me keep my 
head on straight. I haven't always been 
great at doing that. 

PLAYBOY: Were you prepared for all the 
fame at so young an age? 

SLATER: Well, certainly а lot of my dreams 
came t but fame didn't really fix me. 
I was always insecure. I thought that if I 
were famous 1 would fit in and people 
would treat me differently. Then when 
that started happening. people weren't 
really dealing with me anymore. They 
were dealing with somebody famous, so 
that never real to me. That's when 
the drinking started to run the show 
PLAYBOY: Is that when you were 16 and 
went to Italy to film The Name of the Rose? 
SLATER: I'd been drinking for a little 
while before then. I had my taste of it 
with the opening of The Music Man. Dick 
Van Dyke was a partyer; he liked to 
drink a bit. And I snuck some punch at 
my mother’s parties where there were so 
many people she couldn't keep an eye 
on me. So I'd been having my fair share 
of alcohol. And then with Name of the 
Rose 1 made a fatal error with Е Murray 


Abraham one night. He had already won 
the Academy Award for Amadeus and was 
the head honcho. 1 noticed he was con- 
suming a great deal of alcohol and I was 
trying to connect with somebody, so 1 
leaned over to him at this restaurant and 
said, “Murray, you've been drinking a 
lot. You'd better slow down a bit, buddy.” 
I was a cocky kid and he just started 
shoving me, “Get the fuck away 
from me, you little shit.” And his teeth 
were grinding and I was horrified. So 1 
went back to the hotel and wrote him a 
note apologizing profusely. Just, “God, 
I'm sorry man, I can't believe what an 
asshole [ am.” And as | was dropping it 
off he got out of this car with Ron Perl- 
man [who starred in the TV show Beauly 
and the Beast]. Murray was a goner and 
was at the stage where there were по 
boundaries. It’s a free rein to kick some- 
body's ass. So there's going to be a fight 
between F Murray Abraham and me! 
And Ron Perlman is going to be the 
fucking referee. We're right along the 
river and Murray comes over and says, 
You know what this fucking kid said to 
me? I'll kick your ass. ГИ throw you into 
the river, you little shit. Think you're a 
fucking actor? Well, fuck you!” Jesus 
t, it was horrifying. And I don't 
know if he remembers the incident be- 
cause we've never spoken of it since. But 
right after that I just went crazy. Scotch 
and soda was my thing, 


PLAYBOY: You apparently had a better re- 
lationship with the 22-year-old Chilean 
actress Valentina Vargas, with whom you 
had to do a nude love scene. How dif- 
ficult was that? 

SLATER: She did what was appropriate to 
guide me through this terrifying experi- 
ence. It took three days. I think they 
were waiting for me to get it up, they 
wanted to see the consummation, but 
there was no way. It was not where [ 
wanted to be. I couldn't perform while 
the camera was rolling. Today it's a dif- 
ferent story: Put a video camera on me 
now, I'm gone. I'm loving it! 

PLAYBOY: But offscreen, didn’t you and 
Valentina get to do what you couldn't do 
when the cameras were rolling? 

SLATER: I'd rather not say. 

PLAYBOY: With that smile on your face 
you don't have to. 

SLATER: There you go. 

PLAYBOY: Айег you got back from Italy, 
didn't you and your mother move to Los 
Angeles? 

SLATER: Yeah, we took off, found a house, 
split the down payment. 

PLAYBOY: And the next thing you knew, 
you were working with Francis Coppola 
and Jeff Bridges in Tucker: The Man and 
His Dream. 

‘SLATER: I was still a kid then and was in- 
timidated by everybody. Especially Fran- 
cis. And to top it off, George Lucas, who 
produced every movie I have ever loved, 


“Its a drag to have to stop 
to put one on.’ 


The heat of the moment can burn you for a lifetime. 


Helps reduce the risk 


67 


ery ol: 


М, 


CSL BUB со mu won тоду. 01104) ол £t tv «оу peniru pur zt 


vi С. 2 
| тъч i * M { З ать 


| 
ORIGINAL SPICED ЕОМ. 


Experience something deliciously different. A subtle hint of exotic spice and 
smooth refreshing flavor that turn rum drinks into new adventures in taste. 


was walking around the set, too. I never 
really knew what I was doing. The one 
real scene 1 had in the movie was very 
important to Fran: 
me to talk about it. I w 
ment with my girlfriend on the other 
line, so I said I would call him back. To 
Francis Coppola! Unreal. I put him on 
hold for ten minutes. When I came back 
to work the next day he was pissed. 
PLAYBOY: Was that the only time you 
pissed him off? 

SLATER: | screwed up pretty big another 
day. I was supposed to finish this episode 
of LA. Law and go to а wardrobe fitting 
for Heathers. And I was supposed to do 
looping for Francis. And 1 missed it all. I 
slept through the whole thing because 1 
had been up all night drinking. Oh, they 
were pissed. 

PLAYBOY: So around this time your drink- 
ing had become a problem 

SLATER: That was the first time 1 heard 
the word alcoholic, while on Tucker. 1 
overheard another actor refer to himself 
as an alcoholic. | had no understanding 
of what it meant. 

PLAYBOY: You weren't 18 yet, but this was 
also a crossroads with your mother, 


: My girlfriend and I were living 
with my mother and Га been up all 
ht drinking and partying and going 
crazy. The next day my mother wanted 
me to get out of bed and face the day 
and 1 wasn't in any mood to do it. We got 
really ugly altercation. Then I 
I'm out of here.” She said, “Good, 
get out.” And I left. Then I kept getting 
calls on the set of Tucker from my mother, 
which wasn't healthy because it was dis- 
tracting me from work. Very bizarre. 
PLAYBOY: Was it mainly booze you used 
during these all-night binges? 

SLATER: I dabbled in quite a bit. Alcohol 
and coke were really perfection for me— 
that was a good litte chemistry set 1 had 
going. There's some Hollywood Babylon 
stuff about me. Things I don't even re- 
member. Passing out in my food in 
restaurants, vomiting on myself, falling 
apart. I’m sure I turned over several cof- 
fee tables in my day. 

PLAYBOY: Did you ever take acid? 

SLATER: No. 1 took ecstasy I went 
through the bowel system of a club 
called Rubber. I came in through the 
door, which was the mouth, and I ma- 
neuvered my way around through the 
intestines. When I came out the back 
coming right out the ass- 
ing place. It lasted about 
eight hours and when I woke up the 
next morning my pants were around my 
ankles, 1 was lying on top of the sheets 
naked to the world. I said, “What the 
fuck happened here?" To this day I have 
no idea. But 1 loved ecstasy. Mushrooms 
were a nightmare. Coming down from 
mushrooms I felt like 1 had all these tiny 
n my mouth scraping my tongue, 
my lips were dry. I spent one night talk- 


ing to a tractor in Tahoe. Drugs can fuck 
your life. 

PLAYBOY: Was your second run-in with 
the police the incident that actually 
saved you? 

SLAYER: It headed me in a more positive 
direction. 

PLAYBOY: That happened when you were 
20, right after Pump Up the Volume. Is it 
enough in your past for you to reflect 
upon it? 

SLATER: I'd rather reflect upon how it's 
affected me since. 

PLAYBOY: It's too major an incident in 
your life for us to gloss over. After all, 
you were speeding down Santa Monica 
Boulevard with the cops behind you. 
You drove into an alley, tried to run and 
kicked a cop. Can you give your side 
of thi 
SLATER: [Uncomforiable] Maybe we should 
do the 20 questions thing. Ask me where 
did the injury to the cop take place. 
PLAYBOY: All right, where was the cop 
injured? 

SLATER: Head, 

PLAYBOY: You kicked him in the head? 
SLATER: Yeah. 

PLAYBOY: Did you know what you were 
doing? 

SLATER: No. 

PLAYBOY: Why did you decide to run? 
SLATER: | thought I was a superhero, The 
Batman theme was playing in my car— 
that’s where I was at. I was in Ше Bat- 
mobile, 1 was Batman, my friend was 
Robin and it was fun. 

PLAYBOY: Were you doing 50 in a 35 
miles-per-hour zone? 

SLATER: Eighty. 

PLAYBOY: After you kicked the cop, did 
you apologize? 

SLATER: No. 

PLAYBOY: Did they handcuff you? 

SLATER: Yeah. 

PLAYBOY: Did they know who you were? 
SLATER: Not until the next day, because 
1 was lying about my identity They 
thought I was River Phoenix. Strange, 
huh? I was mistaken for him all the time. 
PLAYBOY: Then what? 

SLATER: Mom was called, the lawyer was 
called, Papa was called 

PLAYBOY: And what did your mother say? 
: Stuff like, “This is just like your 
father." That I was a fuckup. I just didn't 
want to hear any ofthat shit 

PLAYBOY: Was she right? 

SLATER: Yeah, I definitely fucked up. 
PLAYBOY: If you had escaped from the 
cops, would you still have felt that way? 
SLATER: Then I would have been a suc- 
cess. But 1 would have kept drinking 
and then died. So, fortunately for me, I 
didn't getaway with it. | remember wak- 
ing up the next day looking at my face 
with cuts all over. My body was ripped 
up from trying to climb that fence. 
PLAYBOY: And then you went to court. Do 
you feel you got off easy? 

SLATER: No. At the courthouse I told my 
mother 1 didn't want her to manage my 


aptala Mor 


CALLING 
ALL CAPTAINS! 


Do you bear an uncanny 
resemblance to Captain Morgan? 
Send us a picture, and if you are 

the Captain's twin, you'll win a 
trip for two to Los Angeles for the 
Playmate of the Year Party at the 
Playboy Mansion! 


Captain Morgan Look-Alike Contest 
Official Rules/No Purchase Necessary 


1. HOW TO ENTER: Hand print your name, addre 
including, с 
card and пай а along with 
33" кУ to Captain Мари 
Енев mu 


sate and zip. agr and telephone number оп à 


lor phetograph n 


Thowgroph салси have been 


ELIGIBILITY 
1 


«rem oF promere 
nd their families arc nor 


3. JUDGING: One wine 

phctogsapls submited for over likenes ко Captan Morgan 
an independent jodgng orgasizat 

1. The judging will be completed by 

he winner will be nonfied by 

Idas ol cibi and rese 


whose decision will be 
11555. 4. NOHFICATR 
Trad and requir 10 submit an 
нет bly пн to nse rame and penare ofthe warner 
without compensaton, Winners compar wll be required to 
signa release: Mid 

days посо. Shot 


ту mus be плытка within 14 
he winner net accept or fall the 
rexjorements ol Ау, an alternate winner will be selected 
5. GRAND PRIZE (1): Tap for reo 10 the 1995 Playboy 
Playmate of she Mar Fary at the Playboy Marsion in Los 
Angeles. Colima in spn 
cach aire to and fram the may 


1905 Тер includes roundanp. 


x B36 
cmd by 13195 


PLAYDOY 


career anymore. That was a turning 
point, just as it was to check myself into 
rehab. I had to go to 90 AA meetings 
in 90 days. That was major for me. 1 
thought they would all be a bunch of 
freaks and I would have nothing in com- 
mon with any of them, but the truth is I 
do. When you sit there you realize we're 
all living on borrowed time. 

PLAYBOY: And what about the jail time? 


lo 
PLAYBOY: When did you start smoki 
SLATER: I was 14. lt became this litle 
game, to see how long a cigarette would 
last, how many blocks I could walk in 
New York with one cigarette 
PLAYBOY: An antismoking organization 
put an open letter to you in the Holly- 
wood trades asking you to stop glamour- 
izing smoking. They said your movies 
make smoking seem sexy and cool and 
that you are the tobacco company's best 
tool. How did you react to that? 
SLATER: After I read that I did actually 
quit for seven weeks. 
PLAYBOY: So what made you start again? 
was sitting with a friend and he 
said, "You're cither going to be a smoker 
or you're not.” And I said, “Okay, I'll be 
a fucking smoker.” 
PLAYBOY: How did you meet your girl- 
friend Nina? 
SLATER: Through friends. 1 saw her 
across a room and I just went, "ОК шу 
God. She is the most beautiful human 
being Гус ever seen.” She is so cool, too. 
She had this bandage around her leg 
from a motorcycle accident. We ended 
up going out with a group of people and 
we weren't ready to say goodnight. My 
license had been re 
stantly in need of a 
drive me home. We spent the night talk- 
ing and Г went back to her place and 
slept in the guest room. It turned out we 
were both huge fans of Teenage Mutant 
Ninja Turtles, so the next morning we 
went and saw that together. I told her I 
eventually wanted to get a house in 
Montana and she was into the same 
thing and it was like, “Wow, this is in- 
credible. This is really deep here.” It was 
something of much more substantial val- 
ue than I had ever experienced before. 
PLAYBOY: And yet you put her through 
some pretty hard times with your rov- 
ing eye. 
SLATER: I spent the first part of our rela- 
tionship confused and scared of commit- 
ment and did everything I could to 
avoid it. I'd never had an example in my 
life of a serious relationship where two 
people communicated and worked out 
their problems. Fortunately, she stuck by 
my side. 
PLAYBOY. Even during True Romance, 
when you were romancing your co-star, 
Patricia Arquette, and model Christy 
Turlington? 


> 


SLATER: | don't like to talk about it at all. 1 
was totally self-destructive. You can write 
that I'm cringing. I behaved very selfish- 
ly during the course of that film. Having 
a personal life outside of this business is 
important to me. When I do a character 
like that and it starts to interfere with my 
personal life, it really fucks with me. 
PLAYBOY: The actor's angst. 

SLATER: Maybe. 1 mean, acting provides 
you with a great excuse for behaving like 
a total asshole. 

в Is there nothing you can say 
about going off to fashion shows with 
Christy Turlington? 

SLATER: | was just a crazy kid trying to fit 
in where I didn’t belong. It couldn't 
have been more of a mistake. lt was a 
brutal time in my life. It makes me break 
out in a cold sweat. So uncool, Jesus 
Christ, so uncool. Things that were at 
one point in my life so fucking important 
are just so unbelievably uncool today. 
PLAYBOY: Though it didn't do as well as 
critics projected, Tue Romance was an 
important film for you, wasn't it? 

SLATER: It's hard to comment. I don't 
mean any offense to the director, but it is 
just one of those movies that are too 
lent. I'm glad it’s in my past. I'm glad it’s 
something I never have to go through 
again. Oooh, God! Some of the shit 1 put 
Nina through, it’s brutal. I've definitely 
not been a saint. 

PLAYBOY: What's the worst time of the 
day for you? 

SLATER: The wee hours of ihe morning 
are the worst. When it's quiet and peace- 
ful, that's when I feel like the world is 
crumbling around me. That's when 1 
nudge Nina at four am. and say, “You 
awake?" Then we sit and discuss my life 
or how I should have said a particular 
line in a movie I did four years ago. 
That's when things start haunting me. 
It's a nightmare, for her, anyway. 
PLAYBOY: Do you ever discuss marriage 
or having children? 

SLATER: Marriage is pretty confusing. I'm 
not a huge supporter because I have 
seen so many examples of negative mar- 
riages. It scares me. And divorce is 
frightening to me. I definitely love kids, 
but I need some years before I decide to 
childproof my house. 

PLAYBOY How would you evaluate your 
career? Where would you like it to go? 
SLATER: I'd like to have a career that has 
some longevity. In order to do that 1 
have to take my time and do as much 
reading as possible. That's a whole new 
character trait for me. It used to be that 
I wouldn't read anything. Now, if there's 
a script about Chuck Yeager ГЇ buy his 
autobiography. l'm trying to be as in- 
formed as I possibly can, which is some- 
thing that I never paid much attention 
to. l've hired a management team that 
will fight for everything as much as pos- 
sible. They seem to be levelheaded. 1 
don't want to be handled by people who 
are more neurotic than I am. 


PLAYBOY: You have already mentioned 
ise as an example for you. Who else 
among your generation seems to have 
gotten it together? 

SLATER: Winona Ryder is really an exam- 
ple for me. She took some time off. hid 
out for as long as she could and used her 
time wisely. She read through a lot of 
projects. She didn't throw herself into 
everything. She has handled herself re- 
markably well in this busi 
really has it by the balls r 
has blown my mind in the way she's 
dealt with things. Me, on the other hand, 
1 just went balls out and did everything 
that was offered me. We were heading in 
similar directions at one point, and then 
1 took this other road 

PLAYBOY. You worked with Ryder in 
Heathers. How did that film affect your 
career? 

SLATER: Heathers was the one that people 
started to see. That and Pump Up the Vol- 
ume, 1 really felt great about. I knew they 
were going to be interesting films 
PLAYBOY: You started Heathers seeing one 
of the actresses, Kim Walker, and wound 
up with Winona— 

SLATER: That's love-life stuff we're getting 
into here. 

PLAYBOY: And that's stuff you would 
rather not talk about? 

SLATER: Maybe without the tape recorder 
PLAYBOY: Well, without too much discom- 
fort, what can you tell us about your re- 
lationship with Kim Walker? 

SLATER: We lived together for a while in 
my mother's house. Then we got our 
own little apartment in Hollywood. And 
then it came to a crashing end. 

PLAYBOY: How old were you then? 
SLATER: I was 17, 18. 

PLAYBOY: And then you fell for Winona. 
She told the press that you dated for two 
weeks and you broke her heart. Then 
you said you had fallen in love with 
her, and there was talk of your think- 
ing of marriage. Was it all a game be- 
tween you? 

SLATER: A lot of it was a game, definitely. 
We did a press thing once and we told 
everybody in the room that we were 
married. We were trying to imitate Bo- 
gartand Bacall, Tracy and Hepburn. 
PLAYBOY: She said you once scared her so 
much on the set that she locked herself 
in her trailer. What happene: 
SLATER: She may have been paying me a 
huge compliment. I remember a few of 
our scenes together where I am sup 
posed to be this scary guy attacking her, 
and she shoots my finger off. That may 
be where all of that transpired, because 
that was a pretty dark day. We were beat- 
ing the shit out of each other in those 
scenes, we were really into it. That was 
fun, I had a great time on that movie. Al 
though I hated the director. Hated him. 
Michael Lehmann. We just didn't get 
along. I didn’t want to listen to 
Of course he ended up doing a great job. 
PLAYBOY: Your next big film, Pump Up the 


Volume, gave you a chance to play Dr 
Jekylland Mr. Hyde, or Clark Kent and 
Superman. 

‘SLATER: Exactly. It was my opportunity to 
be two different types of personalities, 
which was fun. It had been difficult for 
me to communicate with other actors. 
With this I got to perform and do my 
thing. Nobody got in my way, nobody 
was trying to upstage me. There were no 
egos involved other than mine. 

PLAYBOY: What was the message of that 
movie? 

SLATER: Not to be afraid to speak out. 
Certainly a lot of people could relate to 
feeling repressed in school and having 
teachers who are overpowering and 
overbearing. All the colorful people in 
that film were ousted, including my 
character. 

PLAYBOY: Were you pleased with the 
reviews? 

SLATER: | got stellar reviews for that 
movie, it was like, “Academy Awards, this 
kid is unreal.” I stopped reading reviews 
after that because I figured they couldn't 
get any better than thar 

PLAYBOY: What's the worst thing anyone 
ever wrote about you? 

SLATER: Some guy compared me to Don 
Johnson. It made me uncomfortable, it 
wasn't the direction I was trying to go. It 
upset me. 

PLAYBOY: Didn't it also upset you to take 
on the quiet, shy character in Untamed 
Heart? 

starter: Yeah, I had just finished Ки/в, 
where my character was kooky, wild, 
carefree and funny. 1 had some fear 
about playing somebody that simple 
minded and humble, so I wanted to stay 
away from it. I felt as if I had closed 
those doors in my world of vulnerability 
and innocence and I didn't want to feel 
that way again. I just didn't relate to it. 
рїдүвоү: The director, Tony Bill, said it 
would change your career. Was he right? 
SLATER: И affected how I perceive acting. 
You don't have to always do 150 percent 
and be completely outrageous. Part of 
my thing was that in order to do a per- 
formance you had to really be hyper. I 
learned that isn't always the case. You 
can be simple and still be fascinating. It 
turned out to be one of the best experi- 
ences Гуе ever had on a film. 

PLAYBOY: Let's talk about some of the 
films where you weren't that happy with 
how you came across, or with what went 
on during the shooting. Starting way 
back with your unrequited crush on Hel- 
en Slater in The Legend of Billie Jean nine 
years ago. 

SLATER: I was head over heels in love with 
Helen Slater. I thought the fact that she 
and I had the same last name signified 
we were meant to be together. She was 
21 and 1 was 15, but I was real clear 
about it. One day we were on the lunch 
line and I went to sit at her table. As I 
put my tray down she said, “Would you 
mind not sitting here? | need to be 


т 


FASHION TARGETS 


JOIN AMÉRICAS LEADING 
FASHION DESIGNERS IN 
FINDING ACURE FOR THE 
DISEASE THAT STRIKES ONE 
AMERICAN WOMAN IN NINE. 
YOUR PURCHASE OF THIS LIMITED 
EDITION BULUS-EYE T-SHIRT WILL 
RAISE FUNDS FOR THE NINA HYDE 
CENTER FOR BREAST CANCER RESEARCH. 

ABRAHAM & STRAUS, BACONS, BERGDORF 
SO BENE CENCE BON une 


DILLARD'S, EMPORIUM, FILENE'S, GAYFERS, GLASS BLOCK, HECHT'S, 
HENNESSYS, HUDSON'S, |. MAGNIN, JOSLINS, J.B. WHITE, LAZARUS, LION, 


LORD & TAYLOR, MACY'S, MAISON BLANCHE, MARSHALL FIELD'S, MC ALPIN'S, 
MC RAE'S, NEIMAN MARCUS, NORDSTROM, PARISIAN, POLO RALPH LAUREN, 
PROFFITT'S, RICH'S, ROOTS, SAKS FIFTH AVENUE, STERN'S, STONE & THOMAS, 
THE BROADWAY, THE JONES STORE CO., WEINSTOCK'S, WOODWARD & LOTHROP, YOUNKERS 


FLAYEOY 


74 


The Hennessy Martini 
Combine 202 of Hennessy 
V.S and a squeeze offlemon 
over ive, Sur genily, dont 
shake Strain into a martini 
glass, Or ask your bartender 


alone." Fuck, that was vicious! In front of 
the whole goddamn crew. 1 just slowly 
picked up my tray and moved away. 

PLAYBOY: How did you get through that 


y doing as much blow as Г pos- 
sibly could. 

PLAYBOY: You also weren't satisfied with 
how Kevin Reynolds directed you in 
Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. 

SLATER: He and | didn't communicate. 
He really had that hands-on thing with 
me which is so uncomfortable. He want- 
ed me to play my character as more inse- 
cure. That wasn't at all what I had pre- 
pared. Here I am with Kevin Costner 
and Morgan Freeman and I would like 
to look good and do the best job 1 can. 
1 felt obstacles in every direction. 1 
couldn't figure out what the hell was go- 
ing on. 

PLAYBOY: Did you ever feel competitive 
В Costner? 

felt а good competitiveness be- 
tween our two characters. 1 got pretty 
good at knife-tossing. One day Kevin 
was there and I threw my knife right in- 
to this dummy. We shot bows, too. 
PLAYBOY: Who usually won? 

SLATER: Me. All the time. But I don't 
think he's losing any sleep over me. 
PLAYBOY: Do you understand Costner's 
appeal? 

SLATER: He's one of the most laid-back ac- 
tors Гуе ever seen. His two lively perfor- 
mances were in Silverado and Fandango. 
He was perfect. Then he did The Un 
touchables and he was so one-note. He 
was charming in Dances With Wolves, but 
still the same type of thing, extremely 
underplayed. He's capable of so much 
more. It has worked beautifully for him, 
but I would like to see him do a perfor- 
mance where he excels in life again. He 
needs to find that role that really gets his 
fire going again. 

PLAYBOY: One film that wentawry for you 
is Jimmy Hollywood with Joe Pesci. Why 
did you do that one? 

SLATER: Because I wanted to work with 
Barry Levinson, who is a great director. 
When I read the script I didn't see an 
role for me. My role demanded ab- 
solutely nothing. I was supposed to be 
playing this spaced-out, brain-dead guy 
and 1 spent the whole film nodding at 
everything Joe said, just sort of being 
there. I was like Peter Sellers in Being 
There, just completely devoid of any 
emotion. It was a mistake for me. Гт 
lucky it hasn't hurt me, but it did noth- 
ing for me. It came and went as quickly 
as possible. Nobody liked anything 
about it. 

PLAYBOY: Didn't Harrison Ford make a 
cameo appearance in that film? 

SLATER: Yeah. I'll tell you a story about 
that, because Harrison Ford is the 
coolest guy on the face of the planet, no 
question about it. 1 would love to do 
an Indiana Jones-type action film. He 
did one day on Jimmy Hollywood and Y 


had just hosted the MTV Video Music 
Awards, where ] made a comment about 
Milton Berle being the coolest guy on 
the face of the planet because of the way 
he handled that freak-of-nature trans- 
vestite RuPaul he was on the stage with. 
Of course 1 won't have any transvestite 
fans now and they're taking over the 
world, so I'm screwed. Harrison Ford 
came up to me on the day he was shoot- 
and said, "Let me ask you, who is the 
coolest guy on the face of the planet?" 
Апат Vell, Lam.” But then I told 
him that I didn’t have any action figures 
of Milton Berle at home. 

PLAYBOY: Han Solo, of course, is part of 
your complete Siar Wars collection. How 
many pieces do you have? 

SLATER: Maybe 200. 

PLAYBOY: What do you think it’s worth? 
SLATER: 1 don't know. Fifty, sixty grand. 
My video collection is also up there. My 
new obsession is getting all the episodes 
of Star Trek: The Next Generation 

PLAYBOY: You had a walk-on in Star Tick 
VI and got paid $750. Did you frame or 
cash the check? 

SLATER: Framed it. 

PLAYBOY. You're obviously a fan of 
Patrick Stewart's, but what about Cap- 
tain Kirk? As a child, didn't you meet 
William Shatner? 

SLATER: The genius of geniuses, the 
greatest of all time. | met him when 1 
was My mother had dressed me in 
this Star Trek outfit and we went to see A 
Chorus Linc. Then wc went back to the 
house and William Shatner was there 
and I hid under a table for a long timc. 
Hours later I took him into my room 
and showed him the little statue I had of 
him and this big life-size poster of Spock. 
He said, “What the hell is this? Where is 
my life-size poster?” I met him again 
when I was doing Saturday Night Live and 
he was appearing on Conan O'Brien. 1 
was told to wait in his dressing room to 
say hello. He came in and then the 
phone rang. As he talked away about 
some deal I got up to turn the TV down 
4 he said, “Christian, would you mind 
waiting outside for five minutes?” 1 felt 
very uncomfortable. I'm not that die- 
hard of a fan to sit out there and wait for 
the fucking guy. Forget it 

PLAYBOY: How often does something like 
that happen to you? 

SLATER: When I feel like Charles Gro 
who wrote that book /t Would Be So Nice 
If You Weren't Here. Thats sometimes 
how I feel. Like when I went to the Ac 
emy Awards and all the big stars we 
there, Tom Cruise and everybody, and 1 
felt и would be nicer if 1 weren't there. I 
had to walk out and present with Nicole 
Kidman, who's about nine feet tall; 1 
looked like Herve Villechaize, just ludi- 
crous next to her. And afterward I re- 
ceived comments about it. Jesus Christ, 
I'm doing the Academy Awards, give me 
a break. I don't want to hear how short I 
looked! The second I got off the stage 1 


©1994 FILA US ку: 


¿> 


PLAYBOY 


was drenched in sweat and Nicole Kid- 
man was looking at me like, What the 
hell is wrong with this guy? I felt like 
a loser, 

PLAYBOY: Didn't you also make а humili- 
ating phone call to one of your heroes, 
Jack Nicholson? 

‘SLATER: | was partying with the daughter 
of somebody famous and she gave me 
his number, so I called him at three A.M. 
and said, “I'm a huge fan of yours. I just. 
did this movie Heathers and it's sort of a 
tribute to you." I just went on and оп. 
Then | heard the phone click and 1 
thought the guy had hung up. I was em- 
barrassed so 1 just kept going on about. 
how we were going to play tennis togeth- 
er. I took a breath after ten minutes of 
nonstop speaking and he went, "Uhhh?" 
And then I just hung up. I was com- 
pletely at a loss. 

PLAYBOY: If you were to interview Nichol- 
son and Harrison Ford, what would you 
ask them? 

SLATER: "What do you think of me?" 
[Laughs] I'd ask Jack what it was like do- 
ing Easy Rider. How difficult is it being a 
star? I'd like to know his theories on 
women and if he's a lonely guy or if he's 
happy about being alone. They are two 
sides of the coin. They're both hugely 
successful, but Jack has dealt with it by 
staying in the limelight and being this 
wild, crazy cat with a golf club. Harrison 
has stayed quiet and humble and totally 
removed from Hollywood. Га like to 
know who has morc hcart, morc sub- 
stance, more depth. 

PLAYBOY: And if you could choose a path 
to follow? 

SLATER: I would pick the Ford path, 
definitely. I need stability. I hate to 
be alone. 

PLAYBOY: So Ford's the more solid path, 
even though you seem to have aligned 
yourself more with Nicholson's lifestyle. 

SLATER: During Young Guns П Kiefer 
Sutherland told me I chose the wrong 
role model in Nicholson. He told me 
who his was. 

PLAYBOY: Who was his? 

SLATI ene Hackman. 

PLAYBOY. Let's talk about some of your 
peers. We'll name an actor, you tell us 
the first thing that comes into your 
mind. Start with Keanu Reeves. 

SLATER: Extraordinarily good-looking. 
He needs to distance himself from that 
Bill and Ted image, and with each project 
he's trying that 

PLAYBOY: Brad Pitt. 

SLATER: Great hair. Pisses me off. It's 


gorgeous. 


indhearted, gentle. He's going 
through a stage that may come with be- 
ing English, where they have pubs on 
every corner. Drinking is socially accept- 
able in that place 

PLAYEOY: Sean Penn. 

SLATER: An angry young man. I'm a big 


76 fan. Great-looking. Cool. 


PLAYBOY: Johnny Depp. 

SLATER: 1 don't think about him that 
much. 

PLAYBOY: John Cusack. 

SLATER: Incredible talent. 

PLAYBOY: Hugh Grant. 

SLATER: Charming guy. 

PLAYBOY: Charlie Sheen. 

SLATER: He had the opportunity to be 
Tom Cruise, but he made some bizarre 
choices, like with Hot Shots. Some major 
risks, but he's carved out a nice little 
niche for himself in comedy. 

[A neighbor's dog starts barking.] 

"That's Paul Reiser's dog. Frankie. He's 
the biggest nightmare dog. He'll bark 
forever. It's endless. I climbed the hill 
once with a steak in my hand, to be 
friendly. Threw the steak over, but he 
still barked. 

PLAYBOY: Did you talk to Reiser about it? 
SLATER: I've written some notes. He's a 
funny guy, one of the notes he wrote 
back was: “Hi, this is Frankie, I'm in love 
with your dog and I'm just trying to get 
his attention.” But enough's enough. My 
father and I are very similar in this way. 
Noise really bothers him, too. There was 
a dog where he was living that would 
constantly bark and he wrote the owners 
a letter with every curse word he could 
think of and said, “Every time your dog 
barks, this is what it sounds like to me. So 
1 am going to send you these letters 
every day until you kill him.” He has a 
sick, demented sense of humor, but after 
they took it to small claims court he won. 
One for dear old dad. 

PLAYBOY: Why docs it seem that rage is an 
casier emotion for you than happiness? 
SLATER: Anger is a much casier emotion 
to tap into. It's easier to get angry than it 
is to smile. I don't know why. 

PLAYBOY: Do you cry often? 

SLATER: No, I don't cry that easily. 
PLAYBOY: There have been rumors that 
you are gay. With all the women in your 
life and your current love life, your sex- 
uality seems straightforward. But was 
there ever a time in your past when you 
leaned the other way? 

SLATER: No, I never did, I had a teacher 
when I was 12 who became a male role 
model for me. He turned out to be gay 
and that really fucked with me for a 
while. I trusted him completely. We used 
to wrestle all the time. I would sleep over 
at his house, it was like my freedom away 
from Mom. He was intelligent and 
down-to-earth. He talked to me like I 
was an adult. Then I turned 16 and the 
feelings started to change. One time we 
went to visit friends of his and we slept in 
the same bed. I woke up in the morning 
and he had his arms wrapped around 
me and he was hugging me tight. It 
was like, Get me the fuck out of here! I 
don't hold any resentment toward him. 
Everybody has their own lives to deal 
with. But that experience confirmed for 
me the direction I was going in. Being 
gay isn't for me. 


PLAYBOY: How did you feel when you got 
to be MTV's Most Desirable Male? 
SLATER: It meant absolutely nothing. 
PLAYBOY: What about when you hosted 
the MTV Awards? 
SLATER: It was a nightmare, just pointless. 
I don't know why I did it. I had wanted 
to sing Luck Be a Lady Tonight on the 
show, but I had no support whatsoever. 
They heard me but the sense in the 
room was, “You're an idiot, don't do this 
or you will destroy yourself.” I wouldn't 
host it again. That's never thc direction 
my career was meant to go. 
PLAYBOY: Speaking of direction, who are 
the directors you'd like to work with? 
SLATER: Scorsee, Spielee, Georgie. . . . 
PLAYBOY: Are those familiars for Scorsese, 
Spielberg and George Lucas? 
SLATER: Right. Who else? Andy Davis, 
who directed The Fugitive. Alex Proyas, 
the director of The Crow—1 really en- 
joyed that film. 
PLAYBOY: Are there any singers who 
speak to your generation the way Bob 
Dylan did to kids in the Sixties? 
SLATER: No. Sinatra's That's Life speaks to 
me. That song really saved my life. 
PLAYBOY: Have you ever met him? 
SLATER: Yeah. He had no idea who I was. 
I mean the guy just doesn't care who he 
offends. "I'm Frank Sinatra, I'm the 
king.” 
PLAYBOY: Do you have a favorite book? 
SLATER: Way of the Peaceful Warrior, by Dan 
Millman. 
PLAYBOY: Favorite film? 
SLATER: It's a Wonderful Life. 
PLAYBOY: Do you work out? 
SLATER: I think about my body and how I 
look sometimes. I may work out for 
three months before a film, but keeping 
a constant regimen going isn't my thing. 
PLAYBOY: Didn't Michael Ovitz suggest 
you find a hobby? 
SLATER: Yeah. I've tried to learn how to 
Ву helicopters and started painting little 
models. 1 keep trying to find a hobby 
that fascinates me. Right now it’s picking 
up dog poop in my backyard. 
PLAYBOY: Have you ever thought about 
winning an Oscar? 
SLATER: Yeah. 1 was looking at Tom 
Hanks Academy Award and he said, 
“You'll have one of these too someday." 
That was really sweet. 
PLAYBOY: Are you satisfied with where 
you are now? 
SLATER: I've had a fucking magical life. 
It's unreal. I'm one of the luckiest men 
on the face of the planet. Who knows, 1 
may be heading for some huge crash. 
But at this point I'm enjoying the hell 
out of 
PLAYBOY: What would make your life 
even more magical? 
SLATER: If George Lucas read this and 
considered me for a role in the next Star 
Wars film. 

El 


4, 


pra RECALL 


IT WORKS NIGHTS. 


Finally, a workout watch that actually works twenty-four hours a day. With our bright Indiglo 
nightlight and advanced100-lap memory this new Ironman’ Triathlon IN D I G L O 
just doesn't know when to quit. For retailers, call 1-800-367-8463. BY TIMEX 


TIMEX. IT TAKES A LICKING AND KEEPS ON TICKING. 
(01994 Пек Corp Indio Во regen rodemerk ol Indigo Corp. С) на reque sodemerk cl Timex Сор. “human io койитой ol ће Worki Tablon Corp 


78 


II 


the sequel 
to 
catch-22 


fiction 


by joseph heller 


by yossarian's second week in the hospital, 
the floor nurse had allowed him to caress 
the lacy border of her slip with his fingertips 


N THE MIDDLE of his second week 
in the hospital, Yossarian 
dreamed of his mother, and he 
knew again that he was going 
to die. [he doctors were upset 
when he gave them the news. 
"We can't find anything 
wrong,” they told him. 
“Keep looking,” he instructed. 
“You're in perfect health.” 
ee wait,” he advised. 
ssarian was back once more in the 
кош for observation, having ге- 
treated there beneath a neurotic bar- 
rage of confusing physical symptoms to 
which he had become increasingly sus- 
ceptible since finding himself dwelling 
alone for just the second time in his 
life, and which seemed, one by one, to 
dissipate like vapor as soon as he de- 
scribed or was tested for each. Just a 
few months before, he had cured him- 
self of an incurable case of sciatica 
merely by telephoning one of his ph 
cians to complain of his incurable case 
of sciatica. He could not learn to live 
alone. He could not make a bed. He 
sooner starve than cook. 
"his time he had gone bolting in, so 
to speak, with a morbid vision of a dif- 
ferent morbid n shortly after hear- 
ing that the president, whom he did 
not like, was going to resign, and that 
the vice president, whom he did not 
like even more, would certainly suc- 


ceed him, and shortly after finding out, 
inadvertently, that Milo Minderbinder, 
with whom he now had been unavoid- 
ably and inescapably linked for some- 
thing like 25 years, was expanding be- 
yond surplus stale commodities like old 
chocolate and vintage Egyptian cotton 
into military equipment with plans for 
a warplane of his own that he intended 
to sell to the government. To any gov- 
ernment, of course, that could afford 
to buy. 

There were countries in Europe that 
could afford to buy, and in Asia and the 
Mideast too. He had no doubt he had 
much to worry about. 

A prick in the White House? It 
would not be the first time. Another oil 
tanker had broken up. There was radi- 
ation. Garbage. Pesticides, toxic waste 
and free enterprise. There were ene- 
mies of abortion who wished to inflict 
the death penalty on everyone who 
was not pro-life. There was mediocrity 
in government, and self-interest too. 
There was trouble in Israel. These 
were not mere delusions. He was not 
making them up. Soon they would be 
cloning human embryos for sale, fun 
and replacement parts. Men earned 
millions producing nething more sub- 
stantial than changes in ownership. 
The Cold War was over and there 
was still no peace on carth. Nothing 
made sense and neither did everything 


COLLAGE FOR PLAYBOY BY LARRY RIVERS 


PLAYBOY 


80 


else. People did things without know- 
ing why and then to find out 

When bored in his hospital room, 
Yossarian played with such high-mind- 
ed thoughts like a daydreaming youth 
with his genitals. 

At least once each weekday morning 
they came barging in around him, his 
doctor, Leon Shumacher, and Dr. Shu- 
macher's brisk and serious entourage 
of burgeoning young physicians, ac- 
companied by the lively floor nurse 
with the pretty face and the mag- 
nificent ass, who was openly drawn 
to Yossarian, despite his years, and 
whom he was slyly enticing to develop 
a benign crush on him, despite her 
youthfulness. She was a tall woman 
with impressive hips who remembered 
Pearl Bailey but not Pearl Harbor 
which put her age somewhere betwee 
35 and 60, the very best stage, Yossar 
an believed, for a woman, provided, of 
course, she still had her health. Yossar- 
ian possessed but a hazy idea of what 
she really was like, yet he unscrupu- 
lously exploited every chance to help 
pass the time enjoyably with her for the 
several peaceful weeks he was resolved 
to remain in the hospital to rest up and 
put his oudook together while the 
great nations of the world restabilized 
themselves into another new world or- 
der for good and forever once more. 

He'd brought his radio and almost 
always had some Bach or good cham- 
ber, piano or other choral music on one 
FM station or another. There were too 
many disruptions for abiding attention 
to opera, especially Wagner. It was a 
good room this time, he was pleased to 
conclude, with unobjectionable neigh- 
bors who were not offensively ill, and it 
was the attractive floor nurs 
sponse to his baiting, modestly laugh- 
ing and with a flounce and a flush of 
hauteur, who made the defiant boast 
that the ass she had was magnificent. 
Yossarian could see no reason 10 
disagree. 

By the middle of the first week he 
was flirting with her with all his might. 
Dr. Leon Shumacher did not always 
look kindly upon this salacious frivolity. 

“Its bad enough I let you in here. 
I suppose we both ought to feel 
ashamed, you in this room when you 
aren't sick- 

“Who says I'm по?” 

"And so many people outside on the 


you let one in here if 1 agree to 


you pay the bills: 

Yossarian preferred not to. 

A great man with angiograms had 
confirmed to him soberly that he did 
not need one; a neurologist reported 
with equal gloom that there was noth- 
ing the matter with his brain. 


Leon Shumacher again was display- 
ing him pridefully as a rare specimen 
his pupils would not have the opportu- 
nity to come upon often in their med- 
ical practice, а man of 68 without 
symptoms of any disease, not even 
hypochondria. 

Late afternoons or sometimes early 
in the evening, Leon would drop by 
just to chat awhile in singsong sorrow 
about his long hours, ghoulish working 
conditions and unjustly low carnings— 
in tactless, egocentric fashion to a man 
they both knew was soon going to 

Leon was not considerate. 

The name of this nurse was Melissa 
MacIntosh, and, like all good women 
to a sophisticated man with a predilec- 
tion to romanticize, she seemed too 
good to be uue. 

By the beginning of his second week 
she was allowing him to caress with his 
fingertips the border of lace on the 
skirt of her slip when she stood or sat 
beside his bed or chair while she hung 
around and talked and flirted back by 
allowing him to advance in his flirting. 
Pink with discomfort and enlivened by 
mischief, she neither consented nor 
prohibited when he toyed with the 
hem of this filmy undergarment, but 
she was not at ease. She was terrified 
that someone would surprise them in 
this impermissible intimacy. He was 
praying somebody would. He con- 
cealed trom nurse Macintosh all the 
subtle signals of his budding erections. 
He did not want her to get the idea that 
his intentions were serious. She was 
lucky to have him; she agreed when 
he said so. He was less trouble than the 
other men and women in the private 
and semiprivate rooms on the same 
floor. And he was more intriguing to 
her, he saw—and therefore more se- 
ductive, he understood, and maybe she 
did not—than all of the few men she 
was seeing outside the hospital and 
even the one or two men she had been 
seeing exclusively, almost exclusively, 
for a number of years. She had never 
been married, not even once or twice. 
Yossarian was so little trouble that he 
was no trouble at all, and she and the 
other floor nurses had little more to do 
for him than look into his room each 
shift just to make certain he wasn't 
dead yet and needed nothing done to 
keep him а 

“Is everything all right?” cach one 
would inquire. 
Everything but my health,” he 
sighed in response. 

“You're in perfect health.” 

That was the trouble, he took the 
trouble to explain. It meant that he 
had to get worse. 

“It’s no joke,” he joked when they 
laughed. 

She wore a black slip one day when 


he begged her to switch, affecting es- 

thetic longing. Often when he wanted 

her there he found himself in dire 

need of something to need. When he 

pressed his call signal, another nurse 
ї respond. 

“Send in my Melissa,” he would com- 
mand. The others would cooperate. 
He suffered no nursing shortage. He 
was in good health, the doctors restat- 
са daily, and this time, he was conclud- 
ing in morose disappointment, with 
the sense he was being cheated, they 
appeared to be right. 

His appetite and digestion were 
good. His auditory and spinal appara- 
tuses had been CAT-scanned. His si- 
nuses were clear and there 
dence anywhere of arthri 
angina or neuritis. He was even w 
out a postnasal drip. His blood pres- 
sure was the envy of every doctor who 
saw him. He gave urine and they took 
it. His cholesterol was low, his hemo- 
globin was high, his sedimentation rate 
was a thing of beauty and his blood ni- 
trogen was ideal. They pronounced 
him a perfect human being. He 
thought his first wife and his second, 
from whom he had now been separat- 
ed about a year, might have some 
demurrers. 

‘There was a champion cardiologist 
who found no fault with him, a pathol- 
ogist for his pathos who found no cause 
Jor concern either, an enterprising gas- 
troenterologist who ran back to the 
room for a second opinion from Yos- 
sarian on some creative investment 
strategies he was considering in Ari- 
zona real estate, and a psychologist for 
his psyche, in whom Yossarian was left 
in the last resort to confide. 

“and what about these periodic peri- 
ods of anomie and fatigue and disinter- 
est and depression?” Yossarian rushed 
on in a whirlwind of whispers. “I find 
myself detached from listening to 
things that other people take seriously. 
I'm tired of information 1 can't use. 

ish the daily newspapers were small- 
er and came out weekly. I'm not inter- 
ested anymore in all thats going on in 
the world. Comedians don't make me 
laugh and long stories drive me wild. Is 
it me or old age? Oris the planet really 
turning irrelevant? TV news is degen- 
crate, Everyone everywhere is glib. My 
enthusiasms are exhausted. Do I really 
feel this healthy now or am I just imag- 
ining I do? I even have this full head of 
hair. Doc, I must have the truth. Is my 
depression mental?” 

"It isn't depression and you arc not 
exhausted,” 

In due course, the psychologist con- 
ferred with the chief of psychiatry, who 
consulted with all the other medical 
men. They concluded with one voice 

(continued on page 156) 


“Wait a minute, Carlos. I don't think you understand 
what Nafta is all about.” 


82 


PAMWATCH 


a trip to st.-tropez with pamela anderson, the most famous lifeguard in the world 


Working on Home Improvement or Baywatch (above) or vacationing in St.- 
Tropez, Pamela draws attention. The tabloids covered her romance with Bay- 
watch co-star David Charvet and a broken engagement to sitcom hero Scott 
Baio. Now the only hairy creature in Pamela's life is her golden retriever, Star. 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY STEPHEN WAYDA 


ELCOME to St-Tropez, 

where the days can be 

hot but the nights are 

cooled by Mediterra- 
nean breezes that help make this 
French town one of the most ro- 
mantic spots on earth. It just got 
hotter, cooler and even more ro- 
mantic, thanks to a visit from 
Pamela Anderson, a friend of ours 
who steamed up the lenses of pho- 
tographer Stephen Wayda more 
than the weather ever could. Pam- 
ela, млувоуъ Miss February 1990, 
told us then that “this 15 the start 
of something big.” All she has done 
since is appear as Lisa the Tool 
Time Girl on Home Improvement, 
America's number one TV show, 
and co-star as C.J. Parker on Bay- 
watch, the TV show with more than 
a billion viewers worldwide each 
week. There's also a Mike Hammer 
movie-of-the-week on CBS (Pamela 
plays Hammer's sexy assistant). Not 
bad for the daughter of a furnace 
repairman and a waitress from tiny 
Comox, British Columbia. But even 
while she juggled movie offers, 
Pamela couldn't resist a trip to 
St.-Tropez—our fifth get-together 
with her. “I've never had a bad ex. 
perience with Lavsoy,” she says. 
Posing nude is like modeling swim- 
suits, she adds, except that you 
don't have to worry how the suit 
looks. In St.-Tropez, she had noth- 
ing at all to worry about. We made 
the arrangements; all Pamela had to 
do was show up, show off and enjoy 
herself. Now she says, “It's my fa- 
vorite place in the world. I want to 
move there.” 

Fantasies do come wue. For 
proof, check Pamela's life story. In 
1989 some neighbors invited her to 
a Canadian Football League game 


Vancouver. A cameraman put her on the stadium's screen TV. The 
crowd went wild. Pamela happened to be wearing a Labatt's T-shirt that 
day; the company, noting that its logo had never before looked so good, signed 
her as a spokesmodel. That's when we spotted the girl in the Labatt's beer ads. 
Her тлувоу appearances led to Home Improvement and Baywatch. The world 
went wild. Playing one of the TV lifeguards People magazine called a “super- 
sexy amalgam of hormones and Coppertone” on the syndicated surf opera 
Baywatch, Pamela is seen weekly in 140 nations by nearly 20 percent of the 


carth's population, and the show has made her an international star. She's 
so popular in Europe that she can't make a move on the Continent without be- 
ing mobbed. With the CBS movie and two feature films on the horizon, 
Pamela is now approximately as hot as the St.-Tropez sand at midday. “It’s 
all pretty hard to believe,” she says in her soft, little-girl voice, “but then I 


Ж i 


"| should be more realistic,” acknowl- 
edges Pamela, "but I’m more into fan- 
tasy than reality, even when it comes 
to men." Sex, she says, is spirituality 
made real. It's a force that con cloud 


men's minds. Ask any male Baywatch 
fan whot Pamela wears on the show. 
He would probably say a bikini. In 
fact, she wears a plain, regulation 
one-piece maillot; the rest is acting. 


What's the secret of her success? Be- 
neath Pamelo's obvious ossets bects 
a very strong heart. David Hasselhoff 
says he is amazed by his co-stor's en- 
ergy, a force thot has made C.J. Par- 
ker vital to Baywatch. Who else but 
Pamela would practice martial arts af- 
ter an 18-hour workday? But that's 
not the only way she gets her kicks. 
She also enjoys inventing exotic (but 
as yet unpublished) works of fiction. 


Meditation, crystals and oth- 
er New Age fancies are the 
real thing for Pamela. She 
has believed in her own 
brand of mysticism since her 
grandfather, an emigrant 
from Finland, first suggested 
that her dreams might con- 
tain hidden meanings. “I 
keep a written account of my 
dreams, just like my grandfa- 
ther did,” she says. The con- 
tents of Pamela's “dream di- 
ary” will have to remain her 
secret. But iF our favorite sen- 
sualist's St.-Tropez fantasies 
are any indication, some of 
that nocturnal diary's pages 
might prove to be incendiary. 


have always believed in fantasies.” 
Being young and beautiful and 
blonde is a good way to be mistaken 
for a mannequin. Pamela told People 
magazine, "I love the dumb-blonde 
image. I have nothing to live up to. 
I can only surprise people.” So she 
doesn't bother reminding people 
that her Baywatch character has got- 
ten deeper as the writers make СЈ 
more like Pamela, whose idea of 
bedtime reading is Bulfinch's Mythol- 
ogy. Even her PLwBOY portfolio 
reflects a philosophy, that “sexuality 
is an expression of spirituality.” 
Pamela certainly didn’t need to ex- 
plain herself in St-Tropez, where 
body language is a native tongue. 


90 


PLAYBOY PROFILE 


Mad About Paul 


it's been decades since tv made marriage look so smart and delightful. 


no wonder paul reiser is this year's most lovable neurotic 


ом 


‘THING is wrong here. 
Look straight ahead: There 
is the Pacific Ocean, pale gray 
and restless under an overcast 
California spring sky. Dol- 
phins cavort as small waves break on 
the white-sand beach that Steven Spiel- 
berg and Johnny Carson and lots of 
other famous people greet every morn- 
ing. Turn around and you'll see a typ- 
ical house in the Malibu Colony, as 
exclusive a patch of real estate as 
can be found along this coastline. In 
side are white walls, pale wood floors, 
overstuffed off-white furniture, pastel 
paintings and vases of fresh flower: 
And right here, standing in jeans 
and a flannel shirt, is Paul Reiser. He's 
Sure, he's the star. 
reator, producer and sometimes 
writer of a hit television show, Mad 
About You, which means he can live just 
about anywhere he wants. But to those 
of us who feel as if we know Reiser— 
and that pretty much includes every- 
body who watches the show—it seems 
that he really ought to be in, say, a New 
York delicatessen. Or a nice apartment 
in Lower Manhattan, like the one in 
Mad About You. Uf he has to live in Los 
Angeles, you figure it would be in 
the hills somewhere, not the Malibu 

Colony 

But it's every bit as odd that Rei 
has become our new favorite funny, 
smart, neurotic, likable leading man, 
hero for people who prefer their televi- 
ion shows to be a little s ст, more 


By Steve Pond 


stylish and more sophisticated than 
Family Matters or even Home Improve- 
ment. Alter all, this is the man who 
spent three seasons mouthing hoary 
sitcom clichés in My Two Dads, co-star- 
ring with that guy from B.J. and the 
Bear. He's spent much of his film ca- 
reer being mistaken for Peter Riegert 
while acting in movies as woeful as The 
Marrying Man, Cross My Heart, Crazy 
People and Sunset. Limousine. And his 
observational and proudly neurotic 
stand-up comedy once seemed to make 
him little more than a backup Jerry 
Seinfeld or Richard Lewis. 

Suddenly, he's one of the coolest and 
sharpest guys on television, Mad About 
You walked away with seven Emmy 
nominations, You have to wonder: Has 
Reiser always been hipper than the 
room? Was he this smart all along and 
we just didn't know it? Does he really 
belong in the Malibu Colon 

1 find the answer to the last of those 
questions when I poke around his 


house and ask him about one of the 


8 


paintings. “1 dont know anythi 
about it,” he says, shrugging. “Wer 
just renting. My wife and 1 have a 
house in the hills, but we got tired of 
finding all the hotels booked when we 
would decide to go away on Friday 
afternoon. So we rented this hous 
for a month, and then another month 
It’s a good place to bring journalists 
because it's all beige and none of its 
mine 

This, by the way, is not exactly true: 
The upright piano belongs to Reiser. 


ILLUSTRATION BY DAVID LEVINE 


It's the only black thing in the house, as 
far as I can tell. It doesn't match the 
decor. Draw from this whatever conclu- 


sion you will. 
. 


Let's pause for a love story. Reiser 
doesn't usually like to get personal, but 
he doesn't mind if you hear this partic- 
ular one. 

Paul's wife's name is Paula. Yes, they 
know the song Hey Paula, by Paul & 

Paula. A florist once thought it was so 
cute that he puta copy of the record in 
a bouquet Paula sent to Paul 

They met when Paul was playing a 
comedy club in Pittsburgh and Paula 
was working her way through college. 
“There's this really cute waitress you 
should meet,” said the club's owner, 
though he'd never met Paul and barely 
knew Paula. They met and Paul w 
speechless, “I thought she was beauti- 
fal and absolutely spunky and sm 
and funny and wonderful.” They start- 
ed a long-distance relationship. Come- 
dian friends of Paul's would play the 
club, and she'd introduce herself as 
Paul's girlfriend. “The other comics 
would go, "Yeah, sweetheart, sure you 
are,” says Paul. "Because they knew 
the kind of dogs they were, and they 
were thinking. Isn't that pathetic? This 
cocktail waitress spent some time with a 
comic and now she thi 
out with him.” 

Alter six years, they were married 
(In the meantime she finished school, 
moved to Los Angeles, got her Ph.D. at 


s she's going 


PLAYBOY 


92 


USC and started practicing psycholo- 
EY) And besides Paul and Paula's six 
years of marriage, there is another 
happy result of this love story. "As one 
of our friends told me,” says Paul, “the 
fact that we got married will keep 
comics getting laid on the road for 50 
years." 

He shrugs magnanimously. "You do 
what you can to help those who come 


after you." 
е 


Mad About You is a love story, too, 
about a 30ish, recently wed couple 
named Paul and Jamie Buchman. Paul 
has a good, creative job, they have 
an implausibly large apartment, a ter- 
rific dog named Murray and brains 
that lead them into spirited, witty con- 
versations. Exploring the interactions, 
negotiations and accommodations that 
invariably take place with a young mar- 
ried couple, Mad About You is now in its 
third season. 

And while it may have had lackluster 
ratings when it debuted following Sein- 
feld, the show survived a first-season 
exile to Saturday night, then unexpect- 
edly flourished after a subsequent 
move to Thursday at eight p.m. In the 
process, it helped NBC regain its hold 
on that night, which had slipped when 
Cosby and Cheers checked out and The 
Simpsons got hot on Fox, Now it’s en- 
irenched in the old Cosby spot, lead- 
ing off the network's signature night 
with style. 

“Thirtysomething, but shorter and fun- 
nier” is how Reiser and co-creator and 
executive producer Danny Jacobson 
pitched the show to NBC. But lots of 
other comparisons have been made. 
“When the history of classic TV mar- 
riages is written,” wrote Manuel Men- 
doza in the Dallas Morning News, “the 
Buchmans will be right up there with 
the Ricardos, the Kramdens and the 
Petries. And although Mad About You 
has yet to embed itself in the collective 
memory like its Golden Age predeces- 
sors, it's been decades since a sitcom 
captured marriage as accurately—and 
as humorously.” 

Most often, though, Mad About You 
has been compared not to other shows 
about marriage but to another situa- 
tion comedy starring another neurotic 
stand-up comedian: Seinfeld. Reiser 
isn't offended by the comparison. After 
all, he and Jerry Seinfeld are longtime 
friends who, together with comics Lar- 
ty Miller and Mark Schiff, have had 
lunch together every New Year's Day 
for more than 15 years. Their immow- 
able feast has become enough of a leg- 
end that they have turned down the 


chance to make a television movie 
about it. 

But the comparisons are irksome, 
too, because Mad About You traffics 
in an area Seinfeld steadfastly avoids: 
the emotional pitfalls, trapdoors and 
bonuses of a committed relationship. 
You might think that this is because 
Seinfeld has been unmarried and unat- 
tached for most of his career, while 
Reiser has been married for six years to 
the woman he had been dating for the 
six years before thar. But to make a 
connection this schematic would imply 
that Paul Reiser is Paul Buchman, an 
implication Reiser resists 

Sure, they look alike. They dress 
alike, in jeans, T-shirts, flannel shirts 
and the occasional blazer. They talk 
alike. They obsess about trifles and 
make various wry observations about 
things that annoy or amuse them. 
They have friendly brown dogs. They 
play the piano, though not often in 
public. They have talented, intelligent 
and sexy wives. 

But Paul Buchman’s wife, played by 
the talented, intelligent and sexy Hel- 
en Hunt, has blonde hair; Reiser's wife 
is a brunette more on the order of Teri 
Hatcher, who was in the running for 
the role. And there are other things 
that make Reiser different from Buch- 
man. He loves to take a good line, or 
even a mediocre line, and repeat it 
endlessly: After he spotted Jerry Vale 
in the lobby of his accountant's office, 
he said, "Put it on Jerry Vale's account" 
so often that one uncomprehending as- 
sistant finally took him aside and sai 
“This isn't the first time you've used 
that line, you know. 

He briefly considered making his liv- 
ing writing commercial jingles. He has 
the unerring ability to focus on the bad 
parts in any review of his work. In an 
episode titled “Paul Is Dead,” in which 
his character is mistakenly declared 
dead, he did a scene without shoes as a 
reference to Paul McCartney’s attire on 
the cover of the Beatles album Abbey 
Road. He sends notes to people whose 
work he enjoys. When his jokes bomb, 
one of his favorite responses is, “See, I 
find that funny, and you, less so.” 

And while he admits to strip-mining 
his personal life for material, he has his 
limits. “The truth is," he says, "if it's 
something really personal, 1 wouldnt 
tell anybody where it came from. It's 
hard for me to feel that lm a stickler 
about privacy when so much of my life 
ends up in the show. But at the same 
time, it's the difference between admit- 
ting I'ma person who goes to the bath- 
room, which is fine, and having people 
walk in the door and hear flushing and 


see me drying my hands on my pants. 
Then they know that I just came from 
the bathroom. I'm not pretending that 
І don't go, but that's just, like, too 


personal.” 
. 


“Look,” says Reiser, happily. “Jon 
Lovitz is giving me the finger.” 

We've just walked into Granita, a 
Wolfgang Puck restaurant in Malibu. 
The place is trendy but the food is 
good, says Reiser, who somehow looks 
as if he belongs in this artsy room 
where everybody recognizes him and 
the most famous guy in the place 
salutes him with an obscene but good- 
natured gesture. 

“I used to be a great orderer in 
restaurants,” he says after greeting 
Lovitz and sliding into a booth. “In 
fact, this is going back a while, but it's 
probably the only area in my life in 
which Seinfeld would surrender to me. 
He would put his menu away and say, 
“Pm not even going to bother. ГП 
have whatever you're getting.” 1 was 
very proud of that, and then I hit a 
slump. For many years I would just or- 
der bad. And now I'm slowly getting 
it back.” 

He lowers his voice. “Here's a per- 
sonal thing,” he says. “The right food 
can make me happy in a way that is al- 
most embarrassing. I suddenly go, 
“Ooh, life is good." Why? Because the 
soup is really nice.” 

And does the wrong food make him 
cranky? 

"I don't quite notice it," he says. "Ac- 
tually, I noticed the other day that I 
was eating cereal that wasn’t good. It 
was hard and all stuck together, and I 
thought, How good should cereal be? 
But then my wife said, "There's a fresh 
box.’ And I opened the fresh box and 
went, ‘Wow, that's really good.’ I didn't 
even notice until it was pointed out to 
me. And that's actually a consistent 
theme with me: 1 don't notice when 
something is wrong, or I don't have the 
energy to fix и. 1 may be sitting on 
the remote control, but 1 either don't 
notice it or don't care until my wife 
says, ‘Get up.” 

This is a typical Reiser monolog. 
He's a charming conversationalist who 
rambles and gives small glimpses into 
his life but always returns to his TV 
show, which he champions to the point 
of what could be construed as arro- 
gance, except for his light and self-dep- 
recating touch. Then Вей stop, frown 
and say, “Am I the most boring person 
in the world?” 

He isn't, of course. If he were, Ban- 
tam Books would not have asked to 

(continued on page 98) 


“Hey, gee, like, wow! You folks don't know what 
you're missing—you know that?” 


CHARLES LOMBARDO, a but- 
toned-up doormen who works in 
midtown, catches big oir of left in 

ап Огох three-quorter-length zip- 

front shell jocket with o drawstring 
woist ond fleece-lined pockets and 
collar, by Blockspoon, $219; o cot- 
ton velour crewneck pullover by 

Burton Snowboards, obout $50; 

4 ‘and nylon shell fly-front pants with 

` a drowstring waist and contrast welt 

stitching. $89. plus cocoles. $49. 
both by Black Flys. He also weors с 
boseboll cap (turned backward, of 
course) with railrood-ticking stripes, 
by Bonfire, $19; Cordura Outback 
gloves, $84, and nubuck-trimmed 
Drive snowboord boots, obout 
$170, both by Morrow. 


VICTOR OUISPE, who hos spent 
the past two years flying down the 
streets of New York City in his Yel- 
low Cab, is airborne on the oppo- 
site poge in a nylon three-quarter- 

length pullover jacket with attached 

fingerless gloves, $350, ond two- 
tone nylon ponts with potched rein- 
forced knees ond bockside, $230, 
both by Degre 7. He’s also sporting 
a cotton hooded shirt by DKNY 
Mens, about $60; с fleece- 
brimmed hot by 90 Clothing, $36; 
ond oiled-leather Extreme snow- 
board boots with onkle supports, by 

Airwolk, $252. The HC 142 freerid- 

ing snowboard and the freeride 
4x4 bindings, $420, ore 
by K2 Snowboards. 


NEW YORK SNOW JOB 


four regular guys from 


the big apple get rad in 
snowboard threads for the 


slopes and the streets 


fashion by HOLLIS WAYNE 


HE BEST PART of learning to snowboard is that you don’t have to pull blindside 3605 or catch big-ass rail to look cool 
That's because cool, in this sport, starts with the clothing. To prove it, we recruited four members of Manhattan's 
work force—a doorman, a cabbie, a bicycle messenger and a street vendor—to model some of this season's hottest styles. 
None of these guys has ever been close to the slopes (their idea of a winter sport is tuning in to the Knicks with a brew and 
some pretzels), but dressed in the essential gear, they look as though they could shred with the best of them. Designed with 
the same oversize, hip-hop look as skateboard clothing, these snowboard jackets, pullovers and pants are built for comfort, 
with plenty of reinforcement in the elbows, knees and backsides. To get street mileage out of your snowboard clothes, go 
with blue-collar-workwear jackets and shirts, and outerwear made of Polarfleece. Five-pocket jeans-style pants and overalls 
made of synthetic fabrics such as Cordura nylon will keep you warm and dry on the bottom. Hats are a must on top. And 
for the latest in hardware, check out the boards shown here and in Artists on Board, this month's On the Scene on page 177. 95 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY CHUCK BAKER 


96 


ANTHONY CONSENTINO, 
the 28-yeor-cld Bronx resident pic- 
tured opposite, may sell baked 
potataes with all the toppings from 
his cort on 54th Street, but he's по 
spud on o snowboard. He has com- 
bined а wool-blend work jacket 
with controst welt seams, $105, 
and nylon overalls sporting contrast 
welt seams, $220, both by Bonfire; 
with a hooded cotton flannel shirt 
that hos o quilted lining, from DS 
by OP Tech, $100; sunglasses from 
Killer Loop by Bausch & Lomb, $90; 
froeriding boots by Kemper Snow- 
boards, $189; and the Shaun Pal- 
mer Signoture 148 snowboard with 
rocket-ship grophics and Lo 5s bind- 
ings, $575, by Sims Snowboards. 


WILBERT SOUTHWELL hos put 
plenty of miles on his rood bike 
over the past decade as a messen- 
ger. At left, he hos traded his 
wheels for the new Andy Hetzel Pro 
Signoture snowboard with bindings 
by Kemper, $598; and is weoring a 
ploid Polorfleece jocket by Eiko- 
wada, about $200; o cotton velour 
hooded pullover by Burton Snow- 
boards, about $60; and Cordura 
nylon five-pocket jeans-style ponts 
by Ton A Wowo, $98; plus a velvet 
appliquéd top hat with a three-cor- 
nered brim, by Elope, about $50; 
ond handerofted 7360 Hit Boots 
with woterproof leather uppers and 
shock-absorbing foot beds, by Sims 
Snowboards, $200. 


EY LOSI FOR ERRE MICHEL 
ORK am 


WHERE & HOWTO BUY ON PAGE 156 


97 


PLAYBOY 


98 


ISET (continued from page 92) 


“Are there similarities between our shows? Sure. 


But to say that we copy Seinfeld is so offensive. 


22 


publish his musings, Couplehood. Or 
maybe it would have, simply because 
it'd already made so much money from 
Jerry Seinfeld's musings. “That had an 
enormous amount to do with it,” Rei- 
ser quickly concedes. “It's the same 
publisher, the same literary agent and 
the same editor. I suppose that’s why I 
resisted it at first. Every blurb about 
the book is ‘Seinfeld did a book, now 
Reiser's doing a book.’ But they asked 
me. And also, if Tm not mistaken, Jer- 
ту wasn't the first person to write a 
book. I believe James Joyce did one. I 
know for a fact Mark Twain wrote a 
couple. 

“I think that my book is distinctive 
from Jerry's book,” he continues, 
the same way that our shows are dis- 
tinctive. It's couple-oriented and not 
as jokey.” 

He frowns. “And jokey wasn't a slight 
of Jerry's show, by the way. I'm contin- 
ually astounded by how great his show 
is. I watched it last night and thought, 
Jesus, they're great, just brilliantly cre- 
ative and ambitious. My wife and 1 
were at the beach this morning, lost in 
thought, and I said, "Where are you? 
She said, ‘Just thinking about my 
office. I don't like where the chair is. 
Where are you?’ I said, ‘I was count- 
ing how many sets Seinfeld used last 
night.” 

And has he seen the episode of the 
animated television series The Critic in 
which the main character, voiced by 
Lovitz, walks past a movie marquee 
that reads SEINFELD. THE MOVIE. STARRING 
PAUL REISER? 

“No, did it say that?” he says. “Real- 
ly? I didn't know that.” He looks puz- 
zled. “Is that good or bad? Is that a 
swipe? Is that neutral?" 

Well, he could take it as neutral, or 
he could take it to mean that they con- 
sider him a second-: 

"I'm not comfortable 
kinds of things," he says. "I assume 
there's something bad to it. And that 
angers me. I've been friends with Jerry 
for 15 years, and we have a similar 
sense of humor. In fact, there are a lot 
of things that his show broke ground 
doing that I wouldn't have had the 
courage or the conviction to execute. 
Are there similarities between my sen- 
lities and. Jerry's? Sure. Are there 
similarities between our shows? Sure. 
But to say that we copy Seinfeld is so of- 
fensive, because we try hard to shy 


away from that. Ours is an emotional 
show, which is something that Jerry 
proudly avoids. So any kind of com- 
ment like that just belittles all the fuck- 
ing hours and heart and emotion that 
go into making the show as good as it 
can be.” 

He stops, takes a deep breath and 
grins. "So fuck Jon Lovitz." 


He could have been a mogul. He 
should have been a mogul, if you asked 
Sam Reiser. 

Paul's father was a mogul. Нед got- 
ten into health food wholesaling in his 
20s—“not because he was particularly 
health-conscious,” says Paul, “but be- 
cause it was a business that somebody 
thought would work.” It did: In the 
mid- to late Sixties, when Paul was en- 
tering his teens, Sam Reiser's business 
boomed, branched out, bought other 
companies and became a successful na- 
tional enterprise. 

All along, Paul was Sam's designated 
successor. But as a kid in New York 
City, Paul was drawn to comedy: Frank 
Gorshin on The Ed Sullivan Show, Mel 
Brooks and Car! Reiner's 2000-Year-Old 
Man records, David Steinberg, Robert 
Klein and George Carlin. But even af- 
ter he had started performing, Paul 
worked for his dad. “He said, “Take a 
year and get the comedy out of your 
system,'” says Paul. “But even then he 
said, ‘But as long as your afternoons 
are free, you might as well come in and 
learn something." 

After a year of comedy, Sam Reiser 
intervened, “He said, ‘It’s time to let it 
ро,” says Paul. “And he sent me to 
Oklahoma to learn the business from 
the ground up. It was the first time 1 
was ever really alone, and 1 couldn't 
get enough of it. I was able to hear my 
own voice, and 1 found myself not 
homesick for friends or girlfriends but 
homesick for comedy. I actually re- 
member thinking, If in ten or 15 years 
my friend Jerry Seinfeld has some big 
show, 1 don't want to be a potbellied 
guy sitting behind a desk telling my 
kids, "You see him? 1 knew him when 
we were kids." 

Paul worked in Oklahoma long 
enough to see that he could succeed in 
his father's business. "When 1 finally 
got to where I could say, ‘Hey, I can do 
this and it could even be fun, " he says, 


“then I was able to say, ‘Given that 
you could succeed at it, is it what 
you choose to succeed at? And for the 
first time 1 said, ‘As a matter of fact, 
no." He remembers the day: Febru- 
ary 26, 1979. 

He returned to New York and re- 
hearsed his resignation speech in front 
of two of his three sisters before he had 
the nerve to run it past his father. “He 
was very emotional, and it was a huge 
break because I was not fulfilling this 
unspoken expectation of 22 years that 
1 would take over his company. 1 had 
to sell it to him in his terms. | said, ‘It’s 
an investment, like when you started 
your business. You had some start-up 
money, and you didn't really turn a 
profit for years and years. I'm not do- 
ing this foolishly, and I'm not expect- 
ing to be a star tomorrow or even in 
five years." 

Before Sam died in 1989, says Paul, 
he admitted that his son had made the 
right decision. “The big thing for him,” 
he says, “was when I was on The Tonight 
Show for the first time. The coinage for 
him was always when somebody he re- 
spected liked me, and after that he 
could say, "Well, Johnny liked you.’ 
And ultimately, he said, ‘Yeah, you did 
the right thing.” 

Almost from the start, Paul got 
enough work in comedy clubs to pay 
the bills. In less than two years Le got 
his big break. This is the classic story 
from his early days, and again he 
Knows the da ebruary 12, 1981. He 
went to Macy's to buy socks with a 
friend, who insisted they stop at a cast- 
ing office where the friend had to drop 
offa photo. Reiser began kibitzing with 
the casting directors secretary. She 
found her boss, who talked with Rei- 
ser and then asked him to come back 
with a photo. He came back, met di- 
rector Barry Levinson and got a part 
in Diner. 

Later, he figured he owed his career 
to the casting agent's secretary, whose 
name he didn't even know. His friends, 
meanwhile, never let him forget how 
he broke into movies. "It became a 
running joke," says his friend Larry 
Miller. “People used to say, ‘Paul, 1 
need some underwear at Gimbels.'” 


Let's back up for a minute, to Rei- 
ser's first brush with greatness. 

It was 1972. Reiser was in his teens. 
He came home one morning and his 
dad smirked and said, “You're not go- 
ing to believe who's in the house.” It 
turns out Paul's sister was interviewing 
George Carlin for her college news- 
paper. After the interview, at Sam's 

(continued on page 172) 


“Nurse, you know this patient is to have nothing by mouth.” 


100 


today’s female musicians are the daughters of punk and they know what boys like 


Rock Gi 


article by Christopher 


Liz PHAIR HITS the stage at 0:45 and strides 
toward the mike with a world-weary grin 
born of months of fawning reviews and 
crowds of drooling PIB (people in black) 
Her debut CD, Exile in Guyville, made many 
critics’ lists of 1993's best albums and this 
live toun, she says, is to prove she's not just 
a studio wonder. She wears a clingy white 
turtleneck and a pleated short 5 
legs are bare. She 
looks like a good 
girl and sings like a 
bad one, the phys- 
ical incarnation of 
а voice that has 
seduced thousands 
with lyrical threats 
10 take die listener 
doggy style. Even at 
her most macho, 
she is no inflated, 
crotch-grabbing 
braggart like Mick 
Jagger or Madon- 
na. She's more like 
a graduate student 
moonlighting as a 
phone sex opera- 
tor. The roles that 
she plays—the jilted 
lover, the tempt- 
ress, the scornful 
ex—never slip into 
parody. It’s as if she 
were speaking aloud 
the thoughts of 
someone you might 
find at three in the morning down at the end of the 
bar—admittedly a safe bar, on a campus. 


"There's a good case to be made that today's most in- 
teresting music is coming from women. À new gener- 
ation of no-nonsense, mostly boy-fucking female mu- 
sicians is singing frankly—and graphically—about two. 
important subjects: sex and gender 

They don't want to be called girl bands. They are 
not the Bangles. Nor are they the first—Mo Tucker, 
Joni Mitchell, Marianne Faithfull, Tina Turner, Bon- 


She can't get no sotisfoction: Despite her sultry posturing, Liz Phoir 
(above) is no boy toy. Even her come-ons have an i 
her mother cried the first time that she heard her songs—not from 
shock but because of the depth of emotion her daughter had revealed. 


nie Raitt, Patti Smith, Debbie 
Harry, Tina Weymouth, Ex- 
ene Cervenka and Kim Gor- 
don were in front, laying 
down important tracks. They 
don't even want to be grouped 
together; they're musicians 
who happen to be women. 
Their styles include the arty 
minimalism of Phair, PJ. Har- 
vey and the Spinanes, the 
hard-driving pop of the Breeders and Belly, the hard- 
core thrash and grunge of Hole, L7, Babes in Toy- 
land, Bikini Kill and 7 Year Bitch, and the rap of Salt- 
N-Pepa and Hoez With Auitude. They can be grungier 
than a pair of Anthony Kiedis’ underwear or nastier 
than Luther Campbell. But as women—writing songs 
as women, playing loud and clectric as women—they 
are subverting a male-dominated business. Obviously, 
they're not stereotypical rock stars with cucumbers 
stuffed in their 
pants. They can do 
and say things guys 
can't do and things 
that older women 
never had the 
chance го. 

Because hard- 
rocking, tough, ag- 
gressive women are 
new to the biz, they 
are, for the most 
part, able to make 
their own rules 
They are not gov- 
erned by MTV— 
they challenge the 
narrow sexpot and 
baby-doll video 
roles that prevail 
on the music chan- 
nel. They cultivat- 
ed followings, then 
dressed up their 
tamer stuff for the 
world of maximum 
telev: We know 
that Liz Phair wants 
to be a blow-job queen and that she thinks men fuck 
and run. She told us so without video. Just as PJ. Har- 
vey can sing about a Celtic goddess with splayed labia. 
Or Hole can put out a single called Dicknail. Or Hoez 
With Attitude can give Az Much Ass Azz U Want. Or 
seminal riot grrrls Bikini Kill can call their latest re- 
lease Pussy Whipped and be labeled revolutionary for 
doing it. Or hard-core Seattleites 7 Year Bitch can cry 
Dead Men Don't Rape without sparking Senate hear 

What these women share is anger—and ange 
we all know, is nine tenths of the energy in rock and 
roll. They also are crossover (continued on page 161) 


Napolitano 


с edge. She says 


“Motherhood means mental freeze”— The Breeders, “No Aloha” © “She lost all her innocenee/Gave it to 


5 
& 
E 
E! 
© 
B 
5 
3 
Е 
= 


coming. 


nok ов sdy оцу dn иәйсууз 


Girls, girls, girls. Clockwise from top 
right: Salt-N-Pepa shimmy and shake to 
spice up their live oct; Kim Deol of the 
Breeders sonk her teeth into Lollapolooza; 


Liz Phair, “Dance of the Seven Veils” 9 "I'm almost 


clways out front, Kot Bjelland is already feo- 
tured in a book, Babes in Toyland by Neal Korlen; en- 
joying her reign os guitor queen, Polly Jean Harvey 
soys she'll dump her bond; Courtney Love on Van Halen: 
"Why can these assholes fill up the Coliseum and girls can't?” 


= 
В 
3 
е 


È the hour” 


эш ures исэ под /Surids uy qun» year v ш. y osneaoq цее Дио |, © „рі 5597 MBL IPD, “VAH у 


102 


Whos Who: 


Women.to .Wateh 


[AR THE GO-GOS were gone pretty quickly. Will 

0 this crop of female talent be around to 

AN shape the sound of tomorrow? Here's a list 

% of women whose music may endure long 

% enough for them to be Grammy grannies: 

Ton Amos: Amos 
was a child prodigy and a de- 
vout Christian who decided 
to be a bad girl. She took the 
traditional feminine role of 
piano player and infused it 
with sexual rebellion. She 
is passionate during perfor- 
mances, complete with sexual 
bumping and grinding on 
her stool. She has to move an 
awful lot to be interesting, 
though; her sugary, commer- 
cial tunes are affected affairs 
reminiscent of the worst of 
Laura Nyro and Kate Bush. 
But on the much-hyped CD 


Under the Pink her lyrics can 
be seductive—/cicle concerns 
а woman masturbating in her 
room as her family reads the 
Bible downstairs—as can her 
image. Past incarnations in- 


cluded a lounge act that she 
quit in disgust (“What's the 
difference between that and 
giving a blow jab to the head 
of Merrill Lynch?") and a 
stint fronting a soft-metal 
band that produced the awful 
disc Y Kant Tori Read. 

Babes in Toyland: When the 
band came out of Minneapo- 
lis and was signed by War- 
ners in 1992, it became a 
symbol that record execs 
were serious about marketing women who played 
abrasive, in-your-face punk rock. Even though the 
group's mainstream debut Fonianelle contains screechy 
lyrics chat seem to attack men, their masculine fans 
can take heart, because the band insists most songs 
aren't about guys but are about dishonest people. The 
Babes hate being labeled women who play like men: 
“What's the difference between females playing and 
males playing?" asked drummer Lori Barbero in Spin. 
"That we don't have dicks?" In a word, yes. 

Belly: Tanya Donelly, singer, guitarist and Rhode Is- 
land-based founder of Belly, is the space oddity of 
her generation. Her songs on S/ar, Belly's recent and 


When Tori Amos steps out (above), she certoinly 
looks good, but she sounds even better. Considerher 
take on self-expression: “If you wont to walk around 
with o pin in your dick, then pierce it all, baby.” 


much-acclaimed release, are full of fairy tale allegories 
imbued with images of witches, dogs and moons 
Somewhat inexplicably, she claims that Someone to Die 
For is about a serial killer and Dusted describes a rape 
victim hooked on smack. It’s a stretch—and the effer- 
vescent pop sound obscures the lyrics. Donelly was 
previously in the seminal alternative band Throwing 
Muses. A gorgeous blonde in oversize combat boots 
and quirky getups, she has a gender agenda in break- 
ing stereotypes: She scouted for a female bassist, Gail 
Greenwood, to match the two men in Belly. 

Bikini Kill: Ooo, riot grrris. There's a lot about the 
movement that sends bad vibes to men: the infantilism 
and schoolgirl lunch boxes, the words RAPE and SLUT 
lipsticked on bare тігі and the drive to force men 
from the mosh pit. On the 
other hand, these four from 
Olympia, Washington are 
not poseurs. Singer Kathleen 
Hanna is prone to jump into 
the audience to swap child- 
abuse stories. And the band 
does have a guy, guitarist Bil- 
ly Karren. Pussy Whipped, the 
band’s first full-length effort, 
isa truly inspired CD: Hanna 
explores her sexuality, in- 
cluding struggles with old 
boyfriends and, in the kick- 
ing anthem Rebel Girl, feel- 
ings of envy and lust. They re 
not beyond a bit of fun. ei- 
ther; at early shows Hanna 
peeled her top in mockery 
of shirtless rock stars of 
the past. Although Courtney 
Love disses riot grrrls and 
Olympia in her new tune 
Rock Star, she had better be 
careful. With a proper studio 
at their disposal and Joan 
Jett as producer, Bikini Kill 
recently issued a three-song 
recording that makes Love's 
Hole sound empty. 

The Breeders: Kim Deal is 
playful about sex, promising 
ТИ be your whatever you 
want” to an unnamed “little 
libertine” on the hit single 
Cannonball. Kim Gordon of 
Sonic Youth, alternative rock's mother superior, di- 
rected the video for Cannonball, which promptly got 
elevated to MTV’s Buzz Bin; soon thereafter the al- 
bum Last Splash passed the 800,000-sales mark. Front- 
ed by the Deal sisters—Ohio natives, former life- 
guards, cheerleaders, gymnasts and self-described 
"riot hags"—the Breeders features Josephine Wiggs 
on bass and Jim Macpherson on drums. Kim started 
the band with sister Kelley and Belly's Tanya Donelly 
(who left after the 1992 Safari EP) during a break 
from the Pixies. The Breeders’ breezy grooves, exper- 
imental edge and ironic, spacey lyrics propel a form of 
power pop that makes much — (concluded on page 104) 


"Bu 


our 


iness”—SaltN-Pepa, “None of ¥ 


s to/ в none of your bus; 


iving 


9 


nto/ Who I'm 


3 
cr 
3 
5 


= 
3 
7 
9 


Four ef a kind: L7 (top left) jumped on the Lollapalooza 
194 bus in support of their new disc, Hungry for Stink. Al- 
though her occosionolly neurotic lyrics deal with shyness 
and self-loathing, Juliona Hatfield (top right) still gets с kick 
from performing live. Ex-Throwing Muse Tonya Donelly 
(above) has a lot to smile about: Her full-fledged songwriting efforts 
on Star made her new band, Belly, a success. In the Eighties, Kim Gordon (left) of 
Sonic Youth wos the only role model for feedback feminists who play loud, cbrasive 
music, Now she has started X-Girl Fashions so more women con buy into her look. 


Pa PURE at apnj поло оду /2urus DU ap AAA ues оу 90] PAY /PLUES aU $ әцоХләлә UA 


ES 
= 
E 
= 
zu 
= 


wap oy ur dn puo sou 
pecie В 


[3 
B 


ido UL, ө „ppowsodng, ‘aaay | 


ү 


103 


PLAYBOY 


104 


of grunge-and-grimace rock seem 
one-dimensional. 

PJ. Harvey: Polly Jean Harvey (BJ. 
Harvey is the name of her band) left 
her home of Yeovil, a town of 600 in 
England, after she released two singles, 
Sheela-na-gig and Dress, at the age of 22. 
Harvey's earthy tunes employ ambigu- 
ous imagery and chainsaw guitar work 
to flesh out a world of sweat and tears, 
particularly on her second disc, Rid of 
Me (produced by Steve Albini of Nir- 
vana fame). She refuses to deconstruct 
her lyrics, whether or not she's knock- 
ing the joys of menstruation in Happy 
and Bleeding, the proper stroke in Rub 
Til It Bleeds or feminism in Man-Size. “1 
don't spend time thinking about femi- 
nism as an issue,” she says. “То me, 
that's backtracking. You can talk about 
things too much and nothing will be 
done.” She, like Phair, also poses top- 
less or in undies for pinup-style jacket 
photos. So far she's done things her 
way: She turned down a prime spot in 
Lollapalooza and gigs opening for Neil 
Young and the Cure but agreed to 
open a U2 show at Wembley Stadium. 

Juliana Hatfield: By the time she was 
96, Hatfield had already slogged her 
way through six CDs (two solo, includ- 
ing last year’s Become What You Are, and 
four with the Blake Babies). Lately, 
she's become more commercial, play- 
ing the MTV-style helpless woman. 
Hatfield complains about being sav- 
aged by the press, but struggling artists 
wish they had her PR person, because 
Hatfield is everywhere. Hailing from a 
wealthy suburb of Boston, she's noted 
for Hey Babe, a CD that dwells on her 
erotic obsessions (some say with Lem- 
onhead Evan Dando). She's also made 
some Curious statements. In 1992 she 
told a reporter that she was a virgin. 
She also claims she has yet to see a fe- 
male guitarist other than Bonnie Raitt 
who can play. Guess she hasn't caught 
Polly Jean Harvey or the Spinanes’ Re- 
becca Gates. 

Hoez With Altitude: Sex and dicks and 
stuff dripping down legs. Welcome to 
hoe house music. Despite some decent 
production by Eazy-E of N.W.A., it’s 
hard to take the Hoez seriously on 
their second CD, Az Much Ass Azz U 
Want. The obscenity of the lyrics, 
though, can send listeners scanning for 
tawdry moments. For sheer eroticism, 
no sex vid beats the power of the title 
track. When the Hoez were accused of 
demeaning black women—particular- 
ly by Senator Carol Moseley-Braun 
(D.-Ill.)—they proved adept at justify- 
ing their steamy lyrics (and pointed out 
that they worked on Moseley-Braun's 
campaign). Kim Kenner, aka. Baby 
Girl, claims they have appropriated the 
word hoez—much as riot grrris use 
"slut"—and redefined it in their own 


image: Strong, sexy, successful women 
who just happen to make appearances 
at strip joints and pose naked inside 
their CD booklet. 

Hole: Even before she got hit with 
that Yoko Ono rap, Courtney Love was 
the bad sister of indie rock. The peri- 
patetic punkstress left quite а tra 
Born in San Francisco to bohemian 
parents (her dad wrote a book on the 
Grateful Dead), she grew up in Ore- 
gon, hit Minneapolis for an early line- 
up of Babes in Toyland, bummed 
around with Faith No More, landed a 
prescient part in Sid and Nancy, formed 
Hole in Los Angeles with gu 
Erlandson and then married Kurt 
Cobain and became famous. Becoming 
famous may have pissed off her hard- 
core competitors more than did the re- 
lease of Hole's first CD, the copycat, 
screechy-scrawly Preity on the Inside (co- 
produced by Kim Gordon). Then came 
the fight with Axl Rose backstage at the 
1992 MTV Awards, the Vanity Fair arti- 
de that said she used heroin while 
pregnant and her quote in Out: “Гуе 
slept with about 15 women.” Live 
Through This is an excellent disc that 
shows her mainstream roots—an ap- 
preciation for Chrissie Hynde and Ste- 
vie Nicks. Until the suicide of her hus- 
band and the drug death of Hole’s 
bassist, Kristen Pfaff, Love's visibility 
fueled interest in other female rockers. 
What happens when she comes out of 
mourning is anybody's guess. 

Liz Phair: Her current success has 
left Oberlin College grads scratching 
their heads in attempts to picture their 
former classmate. Ага time when most 
musicians play as much for the scene as 
they do for the music, Phair is unique. 
She never played live until she finished 
her album; at home in Chicago she 
recorded some songs, passed cassettes 
around and was signed by Matador. Ex- 
ile in Guyville was taped, but the order 
of the songs was changed after she 
heard the Stones’ Exile on Main Street 
for the first time. The title is also a 
dig at the testosterone-charged, small- 
venue proving grounds of macho rock- 
ers. In her songs, Phair grapples with 
problems of womanhood and the rot- 
ten side of love and romance. Her tor- 
tured-sexpot image—from the flash of 
nipple she shows on her CD cover to 
the pinup-style inside shots of a model 
who could be her twin—is even more 
of a clever ruse. “Men are a lot more 
freaked out by my work than women 
are,” she says. “Men are not aware that 
these graphic takes on sex are u 
that nice women from good fa 


17: “We're taking our music to the 
people and if we get to do some shop- 
ping along the way, that's really cool,” 
175 singer Suzi Gardner explained 


two years ago. “If we get laid, that's the 
cherry on the whipped cream.” Babes 
in Toyland, 7 Year Bitch and L7 were 
the first successful all-girl bands in the 
early Nineties to develop a monster 
metal sound, They actually scored a 
mainstream hit in Pretend We're Dead 
and were applauded for their involve- 
ment in the Rock for Choice concerts. 
Their live act can get raunchy: At 
1992's Reading Festival in England, 
guitarist Donita Sparks responded to 
heckling by spinning a small missile on 
a string and tossing it at the audience. 
“Eat my used tampon,” she cried. 

Salt-N-Fepa: As Salt-N-Pepa, Cheryl 
James and Sandra Denton are the 
biggest-selling female rappers—bigger 
than Yo-Yo and Queen Latifah. Eight 
years ago, they scored a hit with the 
single Push It, which was nominated for 
aGrammy. In videos, they offer plenty 
of cleavage and wriggling behinds 
while their lyrics point to female em- 
powerment and poke fun at the car- 
toonish posing of male rappers. (Salt- 
N-Pepa are PG-13 compared with the 
X-rated Hoez.) Their earlier hit Let's 
Talk About Sex established them as social 
critics. On their latest CD, Very Neces- 
sary, they follow through with a mes- 
sage about AIDS. Their best mark of 
independence may be the success of 
their single Shoop, which they released 
over the objections of longtime pro- 
ducer Hurby “Luv Bug” Azor (whom 
they met in Queens when they worked 
at Sears with another future star, come- 
dian Martin Lawrence). 

7 Year Bitch: Four Gothic vampires 
from Seattle who rode grunge’s flannel 
shirttails to prominence and haven't 
done much since. Shortly before the 
release of their CD Sick ‘em, guitarist 
Stefanie Sargent died of a heroin over- 
dose. They're anything but polished 
and that's OK with them. “Women are 
doing their own thing,” says singer Se- 
lene Vigil, “and don't feel they have to 
be Barbie dolls or have a rock-slut im- 
age.” Because the band is mediocre at 
best, many in the industry point to it as 
evidence that women don't have to be 
exceptional to get a recording contract. 

The Spinanes: This duo of guitarist 
Rebecca Gates and drummer Scott 
Plouf sports the buttondown, thrift- 
shop intellectual look—it's a facade 
that sets up the sucker punch of Gates? 
furious strumming. Their clean-cut 
demeanor and big, noisy sound has 
earned them the tag of nice-core. It's 
punk with a diploma. Earlier this year 
they shot to number one on the college 
charts with their first full disc for the 
Sub Pop label, Manos. At one show 
Gates warned, "Here comes the world, 
so fucking understand and suck it." 


Mei 


TP XW 
N 


М ON 
ES SSX? 
“And someday, when you're a little further up the corporate ladder, maybe 
we'll let you meet J.R. himself!” 105 


MISS PERRY 


on freeway and fairway, miss november shows her form 


Although it was her first time on o genuine golf course, Donno Perry enjoyed 
hitting the foirways and trops for her photo shoot. A noturol othlete—whose 
5°11” frome ond spiking skills attracted USC's volleyboll recruiters—Donno is 
now o convert to legitimote links. “They soy the sond trop is the hordest shot,” 
she boosts obout her predicoment ot right. “But 1 got the ball out every time.” 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY ARNY FREYTAG 


HATE Los Angeles,” growls 23- 
year-old Donna Perry, who at 
this moment seems less like a 

mild-mannered Miss November 

than a blonde, supercharged 

Mario Andretti as she careens 

among the freeway lanes in her 

sporty red Mitsubishi 3000GT. 

Leaving the city behind, she is 

headed home to the San Fernan- 

do Valley for a golfing expedi- 
tion—miniature golf, that is. We 
head for the Arroyo Seco course 
fora friendly round and a nostal- 
gicreturn to her roots. "I loved it 
here,” she recalls as we whisk 
past her childhood home and 
three of her former schools. “It 
is more family oriented—like 
where I live now. 1 love families.” 

Sure enough, a clan of her own is 

on the horizon. “People say I got 

marricd too young," Donna says 
of her merger a year and a half 

ago with Mike, a guitarist in a 

band called Bad Seed. “But I 

want to have kids before I'm 


26. My folks are senior citizens. You get along better with your kids if you're young- 
er when you have them.” We arrive at the course and Donna strides toward the 
first hole, her hair tied into a swinging ponytail. Dressed in a gray T-shirt and jeans 
shorts, she guides me from green to green, revealing the secrets and difficulties of each 
“Here's the wishing well,” she whispers, as if this one has special meaning. She 

lines up the ball carefully, gives it a good whack and then—wait a minute—the ball rolls 
through the well and past the hole and comes right back to her. “That's strange,” Don- 
says, tapping the ball, and this time coming closer to her mark. “The next hole is the 


"| went to a PGA match here in 
LA." says Donna, pasing above 
with, from left, Payne Stewort, Jack 
Nicklaus and Ben Crenshaw. “Jack 
was my favorite. A fon saw him giv- 
ing me an autograph and said, "You 
didn’t give me one.’ Nicklaus said, 
“That's because уси ain't pretty.” 


"This pictorial is about me saying 
I'm proud of myself,” asserts 
Donna, who, by remarkable co- 
incidence, is the second Miss 
November in her family. Her 
grandmother by marriage was 
PLAYBOY's The Shapely Miss Staley 
in our November 1958 issue. "At 
the time, it was not considered 
the thing lo do. But taday I can 
say: Here 1 am. I'm nat asham- 
ed. | look goad and I'm praud.” 


112 


Donno's first childhood memory was seeing the Disney movie Old Yeller. "1 kept saying ‘big yellow dog.’ Those were my first words.” 


ney films still have а speciol ploce in Donno's heart. She hos seen Aladdin ten times. "I wish | could have met Walt Disney. When 1 watch 
Fontosio, | think thet man must hove been оп 009. No one in his right mind would think of those things. | meon, elephonts that fly?” 


anthill. It's a hard one." She's not kidding; it takes her 
ten tries to complete the hole. 
In the years since she moved from this suburb, Donna has 


enjoyed a successful career in front of the camera. “People 
have always told me I should be a model, but at first I didn't 
succeed. Agencies kept saying I was too tall or too commer- 
cial. So 1 tried and tried again.” Eventually, she landed her 
current agent and now has loads of work, including walk-on 
parts on Baywatch, in Wayne's World and on 90210 (“But I got 
cut out of that one"). Despite her success, Donna is eager to 
dispel the myth that modeling is all fun and glitz. “It’s so 


nonglamourous,” she insists. “It's the hardest thing. Being a 
secretary is probably much easier. As a model, you have to 
be perfect all the time. It's really hard on your ego and your 
self-esteem.” 

We arrive at the castle, the second-to-last stop on the 
course. She aims, putts and—yikes—it happens again: The 
ball shoots past the hole and inevitably finds its way back to 
Donna's feet. Can you blame it? She laughs as she lines up 
the shot again, and this time sinks the ball for a birdie. “I did 


it!" she cries. “Just call it luck." We prefer to think of it as 


natural talent, Donna. —D.B. ATCHESON 


PLAYMATE DATA SHEET 


NAME: \ 

ет: DC wasr: 25 _urps:_ 3S 

uem. 2" WEIGHT: 195 

BIRTH рате: 03-02-]| BIRTHPLACE: \ 
amsırions: Tn pe Suceessyu) m Ще nat necessarily 
rich bi happy. 

TURN-ONS: Реди! ves , topical islands , reses And my 
Rottweilers, people. He Хо. themselves ~ 


MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT: Having my bikini Ino undone. by 
A guy Sriend on the beach. 


му DREAM сак: (here A@ So man y. 14 хеб my pla mate. 
1 a Е HO. 
A NIGHT TO REMEMBER: Su hi N 
Marleg-Diwidsons. 
DISNEY CHARACTER I RELATE TO: bi. 


he uns insemre and naive. but 


| aways wanked + be Don! laugh. | ned Modeling in Maris 
a Cowboy. my hair, 00-LA-LA! 


PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES 


Scott showed little aptitude for the law and 
even less for public speaking, but neither 
handicap prevented him from pursuing a ca- 
reer as a defense attorney. Finally, the day 
came for him to argue his first capital murder 
case and he asked a colleague in his firm to at- 
tend the trial. 

Halfway through his closing argument, Scott 
sent a note to the other attorney: “What are 
the chances of my client being acquitted?” 

“Keep talking,” the response read. “The 
longer you talk, the longer he lives.” 


AssoLureLy rie LAST воввитт jore: What's the 
difference between John and Lorena Bobbiu? 
She's crazy and he's just nuts. 


Cindy Crawford and a guy were stranded on a 
deserted island. After several weeks without 
rescue, nature took it: inevitable course and 
the two began to make love. Months later, they 
were still marooned and they were still mak- 
ing love 

One day, Cindy asked her companion if 
there was anything special she could do 
for him. “Well, yes, as a matter of fact,” he said 
“Would you mind putting on my trousers and 
shirt?” 

“No, that's OK, I guess,” she replied, step- 
ping into his pants. 

“And my jacket and tie?” 

“Well, all right,” she agreed. 

“And ‘could you pull your hair under this 
baseball cap?” 

“Sure,” she replied, getting into the game. 

"OK, do you teel like a guy now?” he asked. 

“Yeah.” 

“A regular guy?” 

“Yeah, yeah. Now what can I do for you?” 
she asked impatiently. 

He tapped her shoulder, leaned toward her 
ear and whispered, “Just between you and me, 
dude, I'm fucking Cindy Crawford.” 


What do you call a gay lumberjack? Spruce. 


The night before an clection, two Chicago 
campaign workers were in a cemetery copying 
names from headstones into the voter registry. 
They stopped when they came to the name 
Wladyslaw Wladjlevsky Zhivkvicz. "I ain't 
gonna write that,” one said. “We have enough 
names anyway.” 

“Copy it, Sam," insisted the other. “This is 
America and that guy's got as much right to 
vote as anyone else in this graveyard.” 


While auditioning for a job, a pianist played 
one of his own compositions. "That's beau- 
tiful,” the lounge owner enthused. "What do 
you call it?” 

“Rip Off Her Clothes and Screw Her Бору 
Style,” the pianist replied, The owner told the 
musician to play another piece, which was 
equally beautiful. When asked the title, the pi- 
anist replied, “Shove Your Dick in Her Mouth 
and Whistle a Happy Melody.” 

“Look, I love your music,” the owner said, 
“but I'll hire you only if you keep your song 
tides to yourself” 

The pianist agreed and began work that 
night. After his first set, he got up to go to the 
men's room. On his way Sack a customer 
stopped him. “Excuse me, do you know your 
fly's unzipped and your cock is hanging out?" 

“Know it?” the pianist exclaimed. “I wrote 
it, man!” 


What does Bill Clinton tell Hillary after sex? 
“Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes." 


А rabbi and a priest were enjoying a stroll to- 
gether when suddenly a sea lion shuffled past 
them, followed by a young woman clad only in 
earmuffs. A moment later, a rhino thundered 
by, hotly pursued by two cops pushing a wheel- 
barrow full of mice. Before the clergymen 
could react, six Hare Krishnas ran by, each bal- 
ancing five pepperoni pizzas on his head. 

When the dust had settled, the priest turned 
to the rabbi and opened his mouth to speak. 

The rabbi stopped him with an upraised 
hand. “I think,” he said, “that I've already 
heard this one.” 


aw 


А 
„= 


Rumor is you went home with a great-looking 
guy last night,” Carol said. 

"Yeah," Pam said, nodding. “For a guy on a 
road-repair crew, he was pretty hot.” 

“He was a road builder?” 

“Well, he must have been,” Pam said with a 
shrug. “He wore an orange vest and I had to 
do all the work.” 


THIS MONTH'S MOST FREQUENT SUBMISSION: What 
do men and linoleum have in common? If 
they're laid properly the first time, you can 
walk all over them for 20 years. 


Heard a funny one lately? Send й on a post- 
card, please, to Party jokes Editor, viavmoy, 
680 North Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, Illinois 
60611. $100 will be paid to the contributor 
whose card is selected. Jokes cannot be returned. 


“Hell, Гт turning off Main Street, getting ready 
to go through the park, and, wham, it hits me—how come Гт the only guy in 
this city who still has a milkman?” 


19 


120 


CRIMINAL 
IN AMERICA 


HE MAIMS AND KILLS 
HIS DEFENSELESS 
VICTIMS, THEN TAUNTS 
THE FBI. WHO IS 
THE BOMBER 
THEY CAN'T CATCH? 


ARTICLE BY MICHAEL REYNOLDS 


T IS FIVE minutes before noon 
on December 11, 1985. Hugh 
Scruton, 38 years old and sin- 
' gle, opens the back door of 
his computer rental store in 
Sacramento and steps out into 
a bright day, where his death 
vaits just a few feet away in a 
crumpled paper bag. Sunlight 
glints off the chrome of cars 
and pickups parked in the big 
asphalt lot that opens to the 
west, A 15-mile-per-hour wind blows south off the 
eastern hip of California’s Coastal Range and rat- 
tles the bag. Scruton steps past it, then turns. 

There are two Dumpsters right by the door, he 
thinks. Why do people do this? Jesus, just drop 
the damn thing in. 

Scruton bends down and reaches for the bag 
with his right hand. There is no time to consider 
what happens next. There is a flash, a huge or- 
ange and white blast. The world is on fire. Scrut- 
ton is deafened by the explosion. He looks to his 
right hand. It is a mangled knot of tissue and 
bone dangling by a tether of skin and fat. 

He reels on legs shaking in a pool of the blood 


ILLUSTRATION BY MARSHALL ARISMAN 


PLAYBOY 


122 


that streams from his chest. He faces 
two of his employees now standing in 
the open doorway. 

“Oh, my God! Help me.” 

Scrutton takes two faltering steps be- 
fore his left foot slides in the blood and 
he topples backward to the asphalt 
‘The detonation has rocketed a piece of 
metal pipe straight up into Scrutton's 
chest. The shrapnel now resting on his 
liver is the size of a credit card. There is 
a scorched hole just above his right 
nipple big enough to 
put your hand into. 
Hugh Scruiton bleeds 
out his life with his 
eyes wide to the high 
blue sky. 

Sacramento County 
homicide detective 
Bob Bell got the call 
from his supervisor, 
Lieutenant Ray Bion- 
di, shortly after noon. 

They met in the 
parking lot behind 
Scrutton's store, which 
was marked by a sign 
reading RENTECH CON- 
PUTER RENTAL. The 
rear entrances to oth- 
er businesses in the L- 
shaped mall also had 
SIGNS—SUPERB SALADS, 
THE SOFTWARE CENTER, 
IMS/HASLER—and met- 
al doors with cement 
stoops that went down 
to ground level. There 
were a handful of ve- 
hicles parked behind 
RenTech, including 
Scrutton's yellow Kar- 
mann-Ghia, Bell had 
another homicide in- 
vestigator take down 
all the license num- 
bers, then turned back 
to the scene. 

"Two large, congeal- 
ing puddles pooled 
around Scrutton's 
body. Bell let his eyes 
travel outward from 
the blast point. Wood 
splinters, battery com- 
ponents, wire and 
metal fragments littered the area. The 
gray metal door of RenTech and a blue 
BFI Dumpster were splattered with 
blood. On a nearby drainpipe, the 
spatters extended to a height of ten 
feet. The door and walls were gouged 
by debris from the explosion. Á piece 
of shrapnel had torn a large hole 
through the wall to the right of 
the door. 

“We were figuring that Scrutton had 
something in his past," Bell recalls al- 
most nine years later. “This guy had an 


er ot ninis sa 
хе 


кел 
Алкап Ааа, Fight asa, (12 Injured] 


enemy somewhere. With a bombing it 
is usually one of three things: politics, 
money or passion. It is unusual to have 
a bombing murder. It got even more 
unusual when these dark blue suits 
showed up at the crime scene. All of a 
sudden, better-dressed law enforce- 
ment was there. The feds. FBI. 

“They didn't inform us of what we 
were dealing with. We found out the 
next day. Our arson-and-bomb guy, 
Sergeant Ron Howell, was examining 


$1,000,000 REWARD 


call 
UNABOM Task Force 
1-800-701-BOMB 
(1-800-701-2662) 


С 
С] 


devices have been einer placed at or mailed to Be above locations Та, 
‘refuted one Gean and 13 iuris. Tre last со Devices were mated i June ot 1793 from 


‘The UNABOM Task force wal pay а reward of up to $1,000.000 for information leading to the identification, 
менп and conviction of the partons) retponubie tor placing 
locations 


Do you know the ЏМАВОМВЕГТ 


Please contact the UNABON Task Force at 1-00-701-BOMD/1-800-701-2662. 


To catch a bomber: The extroordinary million-dollar reward was offered 
in October 1993 by a consortium of law enforcement agencies and pri- 
vate groups. Sa far, 4000 calls have been received by the task force. The 
only known sighting occurred in Salt Loke City in 1987. The bomber was 
described os a white male with a ruddy complexion and blondish hair. 


all the bits and pieces, laying them all 
out, photographing and tagging the 
evidence. He called his FBI counter- 
partin San Francisco, who asked Ron: 
"Does this have any initials on it?’ And 
Ron said, ‘Yep. FC." That's when we 
learned this was Unabom.” 

Unabom is an acronym, the kind 
federal law enforcement is so fond of 
attaching to its major cases. It stands 
for University Airline Bombings. FC is 
the signature the bomber (or bombers) 


engraves, punches or cuts into the 


© maling esplotiva devices at the above 


metal pieces of his devices. It's hard 
to figure out what it means. It could 
be Fuck Computers, Fear Computers, 
Fight Control, Free Condoms. Pick a 
card, any card. 

Unabom is an exclusive club wi 
expanding membership. The victims 
number 24, including Hugh Scruton. 
Hundreds of law enforcement agents 
at local, state and federal levels have 
worked the case. As Unabom enters its 
17th year it remains а huge, terrifying 
and costly mystery, 
ranking alongside such 
grisly unsolved cases as 
the Green River killings 
and the Zodiac mur- 
ders. It's not likely that 
the killing and maiming 
will stop until FC is 
caught or dies. 

A $1 million reward 
was offered by the FB1, 
the Bureau of Alcohol, 
“Tobacco & Firearms, 
the Postal Service and 
anonymous private 
sources. The only 
equivalent or larger 
awards were for Pana- 
ma's Manuel Noriega 
(President Bush offered 
$] million) and the 
World Trade Center 
and Pam Am flight 103 
bombers ($2 million). 
Despite the temptation 
of this cash haul, de- 
spite hundreds of thou- 
sands of investigative 
hours, despite the fed- 
eral government's re- 
sources, 5000 leads, 200 
suspects and two eye- 
witnesses, the case has 
not been solved. The 
Unabom investigators 
are no closer to this 
phantom bomber than 
they were when he be- 
gan his bombings. 

Headquarters of the 
Unabom task force are 
on the 12th floor of the 
Federal Building in San 
Francisco. A display in 
the reception area re- 
counts another unsolved FBI case—the 
only escape from Alcatraz, made by 
three patient, imaginative and daring 
inmates in the late Forties. 

‘This multiagency team is composed 
of personnel from ATF and Postal, as 
well as the bureau, which heads the 
task force of 30 full-time investigators 
who work in small offices at the south- 
west corner of the floor. 

Postal Inspector Tony Muljat has 
been on the Unabom case nine years, 
longer than (continued on page 128) 


е ^r = 


= PR с 


“We have heard disturbing rumors that you have been using our people in some of 
your scientific experiments.” 


О ЛЕТ 


CHIC 


II THE ПЕШ RUS- 
SIR, EVERYTHING 
FROM MiG EJECTOR 
SEATS TO DOOMS- 
DAY CLOCKSIS 
FOR SALE 


ALK ABOUT ironic. As 
Russia struggles to 
jump-start its econo- 


my, some of the first 
products the country 
is exporting to the 
US. are items that 
were designed during 
the Cold War to bomb 
us into oblivion. Think of it as their capitalist 
wake-up call. The same Soviet defense contrac- 
tors who were living high on the politburo pay- 
roll now sell armaments piecemeal in an effort 
to stay in business. And, of course, Americans 
are snapping up the stuff faster than you can 
say perestroika. Tank, submarine and MiG 
clocks with 14- to 25-jewel movements and Lu- 
cite bases have become popular desk acces- 
sories. There are also vases sculpted from the 
lenses of spy satellites. Urban voyeurs can pick 
up a pair of superstrength binoculars originally 
designed for Russian border guards (they 
weigh about 40 pounds and come with miscella- 
neous lenses and a steel shipping box). But the 
ultimate in Soviet chic has to be the MiG ejec- 
tor-seat chair pictured on page 126. Ideal for 
corporate commandos with big budgets, the 
200-pound, $5000 chair comes equipped with 
seat belts—always useful during downsizing. 


DOOMSDAY CLOCK 


Above: Yes, it’s a genuine Soviet 

doomsday clock that can survive 10gs 
of gravitational force and 

ranging from minus 76 to plus 140 de- 


~ duding a lifetime warranty. Below: Built 
to Soviet “mil spec," the MIG 29 cockpit 
clock features two inset faces. The up- 
per foce is a flight-time indicator; the 
bottom face is a stopwatch. And if your 
office le as cold as the Baltic in January, 
a heating mechanism will keep the 

clock ticking, $250. 


MIG 29 COCKPIT CLOCK 


Above: These 15 x 110 Sibe- 
rian-made Russian border 
guard binoculars were de- 
signed for viewing “air and 
ground targets from stationary 
and emergency observation 
posts In the day and at night 
in a searching light.” If their 
superwide six-degree field of 
view and 4S resolution don't 
bring into focus whatever 
yov're checking out, nothing 
will. The $2500 price includes 
a collapsible tripod and more. 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY JAMES IMBROGNO 


— 


7 
Ма 


а = 
а 
FONO 
E 


BORDER 
GUARD 
BINOCULARS 


Left: Who would have thought 

five years ago that today anyone 
with $5000 could start his day in 
a MiG ejector-seat desk chair? 
According to the importer, the IBD 
Group, “only the cushioned seat- 
ing surface, the leather armrests 
and the chair stand have been 
modified for additional comfort. 
Everything else remains un- 
touched, as you would have found 
it in the aircraft.” (Not to worry, 
comrade, the ejector portion of 
the seat has, of course, been de- 
activated.) Overall dimensions 
are 57" x 28" x 36". Н you have 
а butt that’s tougher than the 
Kremlin, you can buy the ejector 
seat without the modifications for 
$3850. Shipping is additional. 
That's capitalism. 


MIG 
EJECTOR 
SEAT 


heart out. This Typhoon-class sub- 
marine clock is similar to the MIG 
29 model and includes a water- 


50702 Ihe housing, 229. (Ihe above T-72 


clocks come with Lucite bases.) 


COMBAT 
TANK 
CLOCK 


SPACE 
CAPSULE 
CLOCK 


TYPHOON-CLASS CLOCK 


WHERE & HOW TO BUY ON PAGE 156. 


PLAYBOY 


128 


SCARIEST CRIMINAL „алон page 122) 


“He put the novel on his desk and flipped open the 
cover. The main force of the blast went straight up.” 


anyone else on the task force. Muljat is 
the physical embodiment of the classic 
detective: a middle-aged guy with thick 
white hair, an engaging manner and 
eyes that look as if they've seen it all. 
He wears polished, tasseled loafers, a 
blue blazer and gray 

"The clearance of cases in mail 
bombings is easily 90 percent,” Mul- 
jat says. "But in this case we don't 
know the reason or the motive. It's all 
speculative. The possible motives have 
included——" 

Muljat begins ticking suspects off on 
his large fingers, one by one 

“Is it a professor from a college or 
university? Is i a graduate student who 
applied for ition with the universi- 
ty and never received it? Did he have a 
problem with an airline company? 
"Right now I think he's trying to play 
a game with law enforcement. He's cer- 
tainly been fortunate not to have been 
found out. I don't think he's sharing 
with anybody. If he were I think the 
million-dollar reward would spark 
some interest. And obviously that’s not 
the case.” 

Muljat fips his hands open as if he 
were tossing confetti. “Hell, he's calling 
all the shots. He knows it, and that 
makes it that much more difficult. He's 
improved with age. I've never heard of 
somebody like this before.” 

The Unabom case is unique in U.S. 
criminal history. No serial bomber has 
operated for so long without an appar- 
ent motive. The only comparable case 
is that of George Metesky, а 54-year-old 
New Yorker who terrorized that city 
during the Fifties. Metesky's bombs ex- 
ploded in Grand Central Station, Ra- 
dio City Music Hall, Macy's and a few 
other places. But no one was killed by 
the mild-mannered Metesky, a bache- 
lor who lived with his elder sister 
Metesky explained his reasons for the 
bombings in a letter; He blamed a util- 
ity company for causing his tuberculo. 
5. Police checked employment rec- 
ords at Consolidated Edison and 
discovered that Metesky had bee 
knocked down by an escape of hot g: 
in 1931 and had been denied a di: 
ity claim. Eventually he was 
and contessed to the crimes. 

FC is much more mysterious, inge- 
nd deadly than George Metesky. 
According to serial murder experts, he 
is one of a Kind. 

It began on Мау 25, 1978, when 
University of [llinois campus ре 


man found a parcel in the Engineering 
Department's parking lot on the Chi- 
cago Cirde campus. The package, 
wrapped in brown paper, was ad- 
dressed to E.J. Smith, an electrical en- 
gineering professor at Rensselaer Poly- 
technic Institute in ‘Troy, New York. 
The cop noted the sender's name and 
address—Buckley Cri 'orthwestern 
University Technological Institute— 
and forwarded the package to North- 
western Liniversity in Evanston, a sub- 
urb of Chicago. Upon receiving it, 
Crisp was baffled. He gave the parcel 
to Northwestern's police department, 
where an officer attempted to open the 
package. It went off. The cop suffered 
minor injuries. 

Chicago police later discovered the 
bomb to be a crude device that used 
match heads as an explosive. They di 
missed it as a nasty prank by a student. 

A year later there were two more 
bombings. On May 9, 1979 an eng 
neering student at Northwestern Uni- 
versity's Technological Institute no- 
ticed what appeared to be some kind of 
testing device leaning against a wall 
outside a classroom. When he picked it 
t exploded. The student escaped 
with slight injuries. 

On November 15 American Airlines 
flight 444, en route from Chicago to 
Washington, D.C., made an emergency 
landing after a device went off in the 
cargo compartment that contained the 
mail. Instead of exploding, it merely 
burned. Twelve passengers were treat- 
ed for smoke inhalation. The device 
carried a Chicago postmark. Evidence 
from the ATF and FBI labs indicated 
that both bombs were made by the per- 
son who constructed the 1978 bomb. 
п the materials used in their cor 
iction—odds and ends of pipe, met- 
al and wood—ATF dubbed из perpe- 
trator the Junkyard Bomber. 

Seven months passed. On a hot sum- 
afternoon in Lake Forest, Illinois, 
Percy Wood, president of United Air- 
. went to collect his mail from the 
box at the end of the drive. Among the 
letters was a small package with a 
Chicago postmark. 

Inside the package was a typed letter 
atop a new novel. Its blue cover was il 
ed with a trawler passing in front 
of an iceberg. Once inside his house, 
Wood, who had just celebrated his 60th 
birthday, glanced at the lener. "I am 
sending you this book. I think you will 
find it of great social significance 


He put the novel on his desk and 
flipped open the cover. The main force 
of the blast went straight up, ripping 
apart Wood's left hand. The bomb had 
been placed in a hollowed-out rectan- 
gle cut into the pages of the book. 
While bagging the evidence from the 
crime scene, federal agents found the 
end cap to the pipe itself. On it, two let- 
ters were Clearly etched: 

The Wood incident was a display 
of the bomber's cunning. The method 
of delivery—a polite leiter enjoining 
Wood to read the enclosed book— 
demonstrated a chilling sense of hu- 
mor, a penchant for mystery. It also 
showed the lengths to which FC would 
go to ensure that his bombs would 
be triggered. And it made it dear 
that FC's targets were people. But 
why Wood? 

Alter investigators had eliminated 
those who had personal or business re- 
lations with Wood, suspicion fell on dis- 
gruntled former employees, angered 
passengers or anyone who had a gripe 
with United Airlines—or with any oth- 
er airline. 

But other possibilities would later 
emerge. Aside from the obvious con- 
nection between the bomb on Ameri- 
can Airlines flight 444 and his position 
with United, Wood's background sug- 
gested links to other FC bombings. 
Wood was an engineer аз was the tar- 
get of the first bomb. He attended 
Stanford and received an engineering 
degree from the Boeing School of 
Aeronautics. FC would later mail one 
of his devices to a division of Boeing. 

More than a year passed before FC 
was heard from again. This time he 
had relocated to Salt Lake City. On Oc- 
tober 8, 1981 a maintenance man spot 
ted a strange box in the hallway of the 
University of Utah's business admin- 
istration building, Because a rash of 
bombings had recently occurred in the 
Salt Lake City area, the worker notified 
police. Upon rendering the bomb safe 
investigators discovered the initials F 

The next device was mailed from 
Provo, Utah. It arrived in the of 
Patrick Fischer, a computer science 
professor at Vanderbilt University in 
Nashville. The package had been for- 
warded from Pennsylvania State Uni- 
versity, where Fischer had taught two 
у Fischer's secretary, Janet 
Smith, unwrapped the paper to lind a 
wooden box. When she opened it, she 
was thrown back from her desk by the 
explosion. Among the blast debris: the 
initials ЕС. 

On July 2, 1982 Dr. Diogenes An- 
gelakos, ап engineering professor at 
the Un ity of 
appeared to be a student project—a 

(continued on puge 146) 


california, saw what 


DY 


SN ENTE 


Pue got the curse.” 


“Not today, Professor Michaels— 


129 


fashion by HOLLIS WAYNE OVER 


When picking a coat, 
check for military details 
such as double-breasted 

closures, metal buttons 
and elegant longer 
lengths. Far left: A wool 
six-button double-breast- 


sweater, $220, and cadet- 
striped trousers, $230, all 
by John Bartlett; plus 

boots by Kenneth Cole, 
$149. Left: A wocl-and- 
cashmere three-button 
singlo-breasted topcoat, 
„ teams well with a 
К.-с» suit, $995, а 
dress shirt, $155, and 
а plaid tie, $85, all by 

T Calvin Klein; plus shoes 

from To Boot by Adam 

h пари Derrick, $160. 


v 


Classic colors such сз 
camel, navy and gray 
look equally sharp 
dressed up or down. 
Above: A wool six-button 
double-breasted military- 
style coat with metal but- 
tons, $2700, wom over a 
funnel-neck sweater, 
$275, both by Gianni 
Versace; and trousers by 
Byblos, $215. Right: A 
wool, angora and cash- 
mere double-breasted 
topcoat with peaked 
lapels and besom pock- 
ets, $1000, and a cotton 
dress shirt, $195, both by 
Donna Karan; paired with 
a wool double-breasted 
suit by Hugo Boss, $885; 
and a plaid silk tie by 
Joseph Abboud, $80. 


> 


Where & How to Buy on page 156, 


MENS GROOMING BY ANTHONY DICKEY 
FOR PIERRE MICHEL, THE PLAZA, NEW YORK CITY 


UENTIN TARANTINO 


A s we learned from his impressive 1992 
directorial debut, “Reservoir Dogs,” 
Quentin Tarantino has a gift for creating 
human-scale thugs. What's spellbinding 
about his gun-waving sharpies is that their 
conversations have an everyday ring, as do 
their frequent screwups. The fun couple in 
“True Romance,” which was directed by 
Tony Scott from a script by Tarantino, seem 
to make nothing but wrong moves. Taranli- 
no's latest movie, the award-winning “Pulp 
Fiction” —which he wrote, directed and act- 
ed in—is a quirky, blood-spattered ensemble 
film populated by earnest-talking sociopaths. 

As it happens, 31-year-old Tarantino is 
the regular guy his fans would want him to 
be. He loves Big Gulfs, wears stretched-out 
T-shirts and seems uninterested in the show- 
biz gewgaws ће can now afford. The dank, 
toy-packed bachelor cave that is Tarantino's 
one-bedroom Hollywocd apartment contains 
no chirping fax machine. When he wants to 
read “Variety,” he swipes his neighbor's. 

We sent writer Margy Rocklin to speak 
with Tarantino. She reports: “Quentin is 
friendly, quick-witted and unlikely to censor 
himself. We met at Barney's Beanery, where, 
over cheeseburgers and bees, he lived up to 
his reputation as sweet-natured and long- 
winded. Al no point did he sing—or even 
huem— Stuck in the middle with you.'" 


1. 


гълувоу: You make quintessential guy 
movies. Do you have any secret nonguy 
hobbies? 

TARANTINO: It's 
more a matter of 


the darling of 


uy things that 1 

postmodern su ниво that 1 
i i hang around 
film noir pool falls, 1 don't 
i lay poker. And 1 
explains the praa = 
a с 
lence, how would be watch- 
Д ing sports on 
madonna set television. 1f 1 go 


to Dodger Sta- 
dium, that's OK, 
because the game 
is secondary to 
the beer and the 


him straight 
and why his 


ride of choice environment. 
н One thing 1 don't 
is a geo understand is 

that average 
metro American томе- 


goers cannot 
watch a movie for 
three hours, yet 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY MICHAELGRECCO 


they'll watch a stupid, boring, horrific 
football game for four hours. Now, that 
is boredom at its most colossal. I have a 
lot of litle theories, and one of them is 
that nobody really likes sports. But 
men feel they should like sports, so 
they act as if they do. I also feel that 
way about the Who. I don't think any- 
body really likes that band. Everyone 
thinks they're supposed to like the 
Who, so they just pretend. They're 
afraid to say that the emperor has no 
clothes. 


2 


PLAYBOY: What's the difference between 
Los Angeles Italians and New York 
Ttalians? 

TARANTINO: There really is no such 
thing as a Los Angeles Italian. In New 
York there are Italian neighborhoods. 
In Los Angeles there aren't. There's no 
ethnicity here. You just are who you 
are. Of course, most of that Italian stuff 
is learned from movies like Mean Streets 
anyway. It's that whole attitude, that 
"Hey! Yo, yo, yo, mah friend. I'm feel- 
im fine.” You know, that classic Italian 
car-coat-cigarette-Bogarting thing. But 
can 1 tell the genuine-article Italian 
from the poseur Italian? No. [Laughs] 
To me they all seem like poseurs. 


3. 


PLAYBOY: There are people who derive 
their identity mainly from their auto- 
mobiles. Just how hip does a man's car 
make him? 

TARANTINO: Well, I'm not into cars. A 
car is something that simply takes 
you from one place to another. The 
red Chevy Malibu that John Travolta 
drives in Pulp Fiction is mine. 1 could 
give a shit about it. It's actually a big 
pain in the ass. 1 keep it in storage so I 
don't have to deal with it. I was trying 
to sell it on the set. It’s in mint condi- 
tion and everyone was always creaming 
over it. But they sort of assumed that 
something must be horribly wrong 
with the car because I cared so liule 
about it. And I was like, “No! I just 
don't want it. 1 hate it, actually. Pay me 
what I paid for it and it's yours.” I'd 
much rather drive around in my lice 
Geo Metro. 


4. 


тлувоу: Here's a list of modern conve- 
niences, Please identify them as guy or 
nouguy Microwaves. Fax machines. 
Stair Masters. Bike shorts. 


TARANTINO: Microwaves are definitely 
guy. Bachelors don't want to spend 
their time cooking because for some 
reason you don't enjoy the taste of your 
own food. So to spend an hour doing it 
just doesn't seem right. I mean, you're 
probably going to end up eating while 
standing in the kitchen anyway. 

Fax machines aren't something I 
would break down as a guy or nonguy 
thing. They're more about class lines: 
over minimum wage or under mini- 
mum wage. 

Stair Masters are definitely nonguy; 
Lifecycles are closer to a guy thing 
Mostly, guys want to pump iron. 

If you want to talk real guy-guy, 1 
would say that bike shorts are nonguy. 
1 mean, a lot of guys in Los Angeles 
wear them, but how many wear them 
in Detroit? I don't think too many. 
[Thoughiful pause] Can 1 tell you anoth- 
er definitely nonguy thing? When 
you're dancing and you put your 
hands way above your head—that's 
very nonguy. There's a kind of homo- 
sexual line that exists right above your 
shoulders. You can dance like this 
[waves his fists at rib-cage level] all day. 
But the minute you start going like this 
[waves his hands above his head), that's 
very nonguy. 


5. 


тглувоу: Reservoir Dogs opens with a 
hoodlum postulating about Madonna's 
Like a Virgin, which, to him, is about 
“this cooze who's a regular fuck та- 
chine. Um talking morning, day, night, 
afternoon . . . dick, dick, dick, dick.” 
What was the pop star's assessment of 
your take on her lyrics? 

TARANTINO: After she saw the movie, 
she wanted to meet me. So I met her at 
Maverick, her film company. She told 
me that that wasn't where she was com- 
ing from. [Laughs] But I think she real- 
ly got a kick about the fact that | 
thought that, because she signed my 
Erotica album, "To Quentin—It’s about 
love, not dick. Madonna.” 


6. 


плувох: Certain scenes in your films 
are not for the squeamish. When 
you're watching a movie, what makes 
you cringe? 

TARANTINO: Actually, a lot of things. 
1 mean, somebody's head could be 
blown off with a shotgun and that 
would not affect me. A decapitation can 
be enjoyed as (continued on page 166) 


PLAYBOY'S AUTOMOTIVE REPORT 


WILD IN THE STREETS 


bmw is battling lexus, and neon is running rings around saturn. 
here's an inside look at which wheels will be hot in 1995 


DU HEN GROSS 


If you thought the Dodge Viper roadster was the ultimate in wild wheels, check out the GTS version pictured here—and keep your 
wallet handy or marry rich quick. Sometime in 1996, Dodge will release this snake—a 400-hp V10 coupe inspired by the famous 
1966 Pete Brock-designed Shelby Cobra Daytona coupe. (И even sports the same blue-and-white Le Mans-siriped exterior.) The price 
hasn't been announced, but if Dodge con sell the GTS for under $75,000, Ferrari, Porsche and Mercedes-Benz won't be happy. 


tomakers have lost their spirit, offer this photo of the 
pis is с 100 ipa pe Eb. 
izes the excitement 

currently driving Dee 

1994 is the payoff year for a do- 

mestic revival that has been in the 

works since 1989. Today's car 


T HE NEXT TIME someone tells you that domestic au- 


fully integrated, so new models 

are designed better, built better and ready for market 
faster. The value of the yen has risen steadily compared 
with the dollar, forcing price increases that protect 
profitability but chip away at Japan's market share. As 


new-car prices rise, the nature of ownership is changing. 
Leasing is more common. A Lexus LS 400 
sedan that cost $35,000 in 1989, for example, now retails 
for $51,200. But despite the price 
increase, a new LS 400 can be 
leased for less today than it could 
in 1989. Not surprisingly, more 
than half of all luxury cars are 
leased, thanks to low interest rates. 
There's a lot more happening for 
model year 1995, and we've been 
on the road noting trends, pre- 
viewing new wheels and talking with industry executives. 
Here's what we've learned. General Motors’ product pro- 
gram is finally firing on all cylinders. Improved Chevrolet 
Lumina sedans will challenge Ford Tauruses. Chevy has 


PLAYBOY 


136 


also launched a new Monte Carlo 
coupe with an aerodynamic shape de- 
signed specifically for NASCAR racing. 
Although a dramatic-looking Pontiac 
Sunfire convertible prototype toured 
the auto-show circuit earlier this year, 
insiders admit the production version, 
due this fall, won't be nearly as impres- 
sive. Buick's Riviera coupe and Olds- 
mobile's Aurora sedan share the same 
modern platform with a unit body 
that’s as rigid as the one on an E-class 
Mercedes-Benz. The result: new levels 
of silence and smoothness. The Riviera 
(which, to our taste, has too soft a sus- 
pension) comes in a choice of two V6s, 
including a 225-hp supercharged ver- 
sion. The more stiffly suspended front- 
wheel-drive Aurora sport sedan retails 
for only $31,370. That's about $18,000 
cheaper than a comparable Japanese 
model, even if you buy the Aurora with 
a four-liter, 250-hp Northstar V8 en- 
gine and luxury options such as a cus- 
tom-designed Bose sound system. 

Cadillac has restyled the De Ville in- 
to a rounder four-door that packs a 
270-hp Northstar V8 if you opt for the 
Concours version. The company also 
plans to import an Opel-based 24-valve 
V6 luxury entry, the 210-hp Cadillac 
LSE, for sale in early 1996. 

Saturn may be running out of gas. 
While sales continue at reasonable lev- 
els, no step-up program has been ap- 
proved, so there won't be a bigger 
model to which Saturn owners can 
aspire. Plans for a convertible were 
dropped. Adding to the marques 
woes, the Plymouth-Dodge Neon is a 
hot seller. At midyear, production still 
couldn't meet demand. 

Chrysler hopes to keep its string of 
hits intact with two all-new midsize 
sedans, the Dodge Stratus and the 
Chrysler Cirrus. Chrysler president 
Bob Lutz instructed his designers and 
engineers to produce "a BMW at half 
the price." By all accounts, they've 
done it. Spacious interiors, state-of-the- 
art suspension and dramatic styling 
lead the list of features. Stratus and 
Cirrus replace the K-car trio of Ply- 
mouth Acclaim, Dodge Spirit and 
Chrysler LeBaron. (Choose the option- 
al 2.5-liter Уб by Mitsubishi over the 
standard overhead-cam four-cylinder 
engine.) While there's no Eagle ver- 

i Plymouth-badged variant is in 
the works. Just launched: the Dodge 
Avenger, a sports coupe that replaces 
the Daytona. Look for a Chrysler ver- 
sion, the Sebring, at year's end. 

At Ford, the aging Tempo and Mer- 
cury Topaz have just been replaced by 
an all-new Ford Contour and the Mer- 
cury Mystique. Don't be deceived by 
their bland exteriors; these cars are se- 
rious contenders for best-in-class hon- 
ors. Co-developed by Ford USA and its 


overseas affiliates, the two are billed as 
Ford's first successful “world cars." Two 
distinctively different engines are avail- 
able: a basic twin-cam, 125-hp four, 
and a high-revving, 170-hp four-cam 
Уб, as well as new five-speed manual 
and four-speed automatic transmis- 
sions. The handling on both is impres- 
sive. They'll be up against tough com- 
petition (Chrysler's Stratus and Cirrus 
and Chevy's new Cavalier), but if Ford 
gets its pricing right, we predict that it 
will have two big hits. Looking ahead: 
Ford plans a major 1996 redesign for 
the Taurus and the Mercury Sable. 
While Lincoln has previewed a sleek 
Continental show car with doors that 
open electronically without external 
handles, don’t expect that feature to be 
on the model being introduced next 
spring. Do look for a new four-cam VB. 


EUROPE GETS ITS ACT TOCETHER 


German car manufacturers have 
been bolstered by increased sales 
here. Porsche is enjoying an upswing, 
thanks to its sexy new 270-hp 911 Car- 
rera ($60,000). Volkswagen’s re- 
designed Passat sedan hit the streets 
this summer, along with a 172-hp V6- 
powered GTI. Watch out, Ford Probe. 
VW offers plenty of affordable punch 
in its lineup. The 2.8-liter V6 Jetta re- 
mains a well-kept secret. At $21,000, 
this pocket rocket can out-accelerate 
cars costing $10,000 more. 

BMW has moved ahead of Mercedes 
and is neck and neck with Lexus 
thanks to an impressive run of well-po- 
sitioned models. The Bavarians began 
with a $68,100, 840Ci V8 coupe and 
followed with a great-handling six- 
cylinder МЗ sports two-door for 
$35,800. BMW has just introduced an 
all-new, top-of-the-line 7-series sedan 
featuring a sealed-for-life, five-speed 
automatic transmission that senses the 
drivers patterns and adjusts shift 
points accordingly. And їп 1995, 
BMW's Compact hatchback—a trun- 
cated, rear-wheel-drive car that's nine 
inches shorter than a 3-series coupe— 
will arrive in the States. Price: about 
$20,000. 

Mercedes-Benz’ small C-class sedans 
have been a a Penske-Mercedes 
race car won the Indy 500. Mercedes 
may import a small car designed with 
input from Swatch, the Swiss watch- 
15 funky styles, M-B's 
ed, attractively repriced big 
S-class sedans are here just in time to 
battle BMW’s new 7-series and the 
freshly restyled XJG sedan from 
Jaguar. Despite Ford's help, Jag re- 
mains several years away from a totally 
revised product line. In 1998 all-new 
Jags will include an aerodynamic, full- 
size sedan, an F-type sports car and a 
compact four-door reminiscent of its 


Sixties classic 3.8 Mark 11. 

The only German automaker that 
hasn't made a comeback in the States is 
Audi, which explains why it has just 
launched a major repositioning cam- 
paign. In addition to planning a re- 
styled model 100 called the AG, Audi 
will import из all-aluminum A8 sedan 
(formerly the V8 Quattro) in 1996. 
The price will be around $50,000. 

Sweden's carmakers are quietly 
building market share again. Saab's 
new 900 Turbo ($28,990) proves to be 
an agile, fully equipped sports coupe. 
Volvo's 850 front-wheel-drive wagon 
continues to sell well. Look for a great- 
ly improved 960 sedan and station 
wagon—both with independent rear 
suspension—from Volvo. Safety pio- 
neer Volvo recently previewed air bags 
that protect passengers from side im- 
pacts. They will be available in the 850 
series starting in 1995. 


JAPAN: THE SUN ALSO RISES 


Most Japanese automakers are still 
hard-hit by the strong yen and by 
America’s return to domestic marques 
such as Pontiac, which was selling more 
cars than both Toyota and Honda at 
midyear. Of course, there are excep- 
tions. Toyota's Camry is doing well, but 
the future of its big, bland, Camry- 
based Avalon sedan remains uncertain. 
Nissan's conservatively restyled, 190- 
hp Maxima sedan handles extremely 
well thanks to its new twist-beam rear 
axle. Nissan's 2405X coupe is a capable 
car, but more horsepower would be 
welcomed. Honda’s Accord has slipped 
behind the Ford Taurus in the race for 
top-selling sedan. Its sales should im- 
prove with a V6 engine that is due in 
November. 

Mazda's Millenia four-door was to 
have been the entry-level car in an all- 
new luxury division named Amati. Fac- 
ing tough competition from Lexus and 
Infiniti, Mazda shelved the division but 
went ahead with this particular model. 
The Millenia S boasts a powerful 2.3- 
liter, Miller-cycle V6 that develops 
210 hp with the help of a superchar- 
ger called a Lysholm compressor. Mit- 
subishi's turbocharged Eclipse GSX isa 
street sleeper. With 210 hp from two 
liters, all-wheel drive, a sexy shape and 
a great stereo, the Eclipse sets the new 
standard for small street coupes. (This 
same car is sold by Jeep-Eagle dealers 
as the Eagle Talon—usually for less. 
Eagle is still struggling to convince peo- 
ple that it sells cars, too.) To fight 
falling sales, Acura plans a model be- 
tween its Integra and Vigor. The new 
sedan will be the first Acura designed, 
developed and built in the United 
States. A subtly redesigned Lexus LS 
400 bows later this month—just in time 

(continued on page 164) 


[Cd 


Hr Teas 
H 
f 


Ask for item number XE4004. 
Charge toyour Visa, Optima, 
MasterCard, American 
Express or Discover. Most 
orders shipped within 48 
hours. (Source code: 49570) 


Use your credit card and be 
sure to inelude your account 
number and expiration date. 
Or enclose a check or money 
order payable to Playboy. 
Include item number XE4004. 
Mail to Playboy, P.O. Box 809, 
Dept. 49570, Itasca, Illinois 
60143-0809. 


There is a $4.00 shipping 

and handling charge per total 
order, Illinois residents add 
6,75% sales tax, Canadian 
residents please add §3.00 
additional per book. Sorry, 
no other foreign orders or 
currency accepted. 


TTE PLAYBOY BOON: ШЇЇ Tent Чо 


HE ENTIRE EVOLUTION OF THE PLAYBOY EMPIRE, FROM ITS HUMBLE 

beginnings in the apartment of 27-year-old Hugh Hefner in 1953 to its 
remarkable influence on modern society, is captured in one rapturously beautiful, cof- 
fee-table book. Painstakingly researched and meticulously detailed, this 9" x 12" over- 
sized volume is a treasured addition to any library. As a special offering, Hugh M. Hefner 
will be signing a limited quantity of books, so order today to guarantee this collectible. 


A VERY SPECIAL SELECTION OF OVER 1000 PICTURES, ILLUSTRATIONS AND OTHER 
memorabilia from the PLAYBOY vaults, including rare behind-the-scenes images along 
with the most unforgettable pictorials ever to grace the pages of a magazine. Together, 
they provide a refreshing and insightful look at the fascinating changes in popular cul- 
ture over the past 40 years—the standards of beauty, wit, humor, music, fashion, 
trends, polities, attitudes and fantasies of the times. 


THIS 368-PAGE FAMILY SCRAPBOOK IS A RIVETING TALE OF ONE OF THE CENTURY'S 
greatest success stories that contains surprises and shatters myths as it reveals the true, 
inside details of how PLAYBoy grew to become the mighty, mythic media empire it is today. 


ALL THIS PLUS PLAYBOY TRIVIA, FACTS AND STATS! 


THE YEAR’S MOVIES HEAT UP WITH KINKY PASSION, 
GENDER-BENDING AND EQUAL RIGHTS TO BARE ALL 


Put 1994 down on the books as the year that the sexes finally achieved 
equality on-screen: Men and women now share the right to let it all hang out. Moviegoers have become ac- 
customed to the sight of unclad female bodies, but only a few audacious filmmakers have ventured to debrief 
their male stars. Oh, there were earlier hints of a change—last year Harvey Keitel, Jaye Davidson and 
Sylvester Stallone (in The Piano, The Crying Game and Demolition Man, respectively) bared what were once 
known as their privates. But in 1994 full exposure for actors as well as actresses became a genuine trend. 
Bruce Willis” frontal nudity in Color of Night was the talk of the Cannes Film Festival (as were his underwa- 
ter exploits with an equally nude Jane March). One might expect a flash of flesh in a film called Naked in New 
York, and Eric Stoltz, featured in its dream sequence, obliges. So does James Woods, playing a drunken ranch- 
er who strips to the buff in Curse of the Starving Class. The same may be said (text concluded on page 146) 


COMING CLEAN How’s this for a water sport? Bruce Willis and 
Jone March heat up a pool, a shower and (above) a bathtub— 
not to mention a bed and a dinner table—in Color of Night, 
released, surprisingly enough, by Disney's Hollywood Pictures. 


THE WAYS OF ALL FLESH Unorthodox sexuality marks Exit to 
Eden, from Anne Rice's tale of an S&M resort where dominatrix 
Dana Delany hos Paul Mercurio in a lather (top right); Roman 
Polanski's Bitter Moon, in which kinky duo Emmanuelle Seigner 
and Peter Coyote (center right) set up some proper Brits; and 
Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein (at right, Kenneth Branagh, as Dr. 
Frankenstein, nuzzles his betrothed, Helena Bonham Carter). 


HAT TRICKS Winking 
at convention, film- 
makers who were still 
shy about frontal male 
nudity applied head- 
gear to Norbert Weiss- 
er (with Camryn Man- 
heim and Bridget Fonda, 
above) in The Road to 
Wellville; Woody Har- 
relson in The Cowboy 
Woy (left); end (below) 
Mark Christopher Law- 
rence, Rusty Cundieff 
and Larry B. Scott in a 
promotional shot for 
Feur of u Bluck Ни, а 
spoof of a fictional gang- 
sto rap group called 
Niggaz With Hats. 


AWESOME AUSSIES The eye-popping Sirens, 
which showcases PLaveoY cover girl Elle Macpherson 
(seen at left ond obove with Рота de Rossi and 
Kate Fischer), is bosed on actual characters. Neo- 
phyte clergyman Anthony Campion (Hugh Grant, 
top) and his wife are sent to reason with artist Nor- 
man Lindsay (Som Neill), whose nude paintings 
outrage Australian church authorities. Exposure to 
Lindsay and his models (among them a supposedly 
blind Mark Gerber, above center) proves liberating 


T A ES 


146 


for the daring actors in Sirens and Desper- 
ate Remedies, erotic features from Aus- 
tralia and New Zealand. As usual, the 
Motion Picture Association of America's 
ratings mavens fell off the bandwagon. 
Although they tolerated the scene from 
Six Degrees of Separation in which a male 
hustler cavorts in the nude, the MPAA 
raters balked at a shot from the movie's 
trailer: Michelangelo's naked Adam on 
the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. By the 
time an embarrassed MPAA backed off 
from its attempt to censor one of the 
world’s artistic treasures, the trailer had 
already been re-edited. 

Bare-and-equal sexual liberation does 
not stop with dropping trou. In the 
movies, the man of the Nineties sheds 
his inhibitions in more ways than one, 
making cross-dressing and gay themes 
appear not only accessible but down- 
right popular. The Adventures of Priscilla, 
Queen of the Desert showcases England's 
handsome veteran Terence Stamp as a 
transsexual performer who journeys 
across Australia’s outback with a pair of 
drag queens. Similarly, Hollywood's own 
Patrick Swayze, Wesley Snipes and John 
Leguizamo hit the road in drag as beau- 
ty contestants in the upcoming To Wong 
Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Neumar. 
Johnny Depp portrays the title role in 
“Tim Burton's Ed Wood, a biography of 
the cross-dressing director whose bad 
movies (including Glen or Glenda?, the 
sappy tale of a transvestite's trauma) 
are bottom-of-the-barrel classics. Also 
among the guys dressed as dolls: Adrian 
Pasdar in Just Like a Woman, Jorge Sanz 
in Spain's Oscar-winning Belle Epoque 
and Robin Williams in Mrs. Doubifire. 

Homosexuality—a theme in Belle 


Epoque, Naked in New York, the overtly les- 
bian Go Fish and France's Savage Night:— 
will also be dealt with in upcoming film 
versions of several plays: Paul Rudnick’s 
Jeffrey, Larry Kramer's The Normal Heart 
(Barbra Streisand directing) and the 
Pulitzer Prize-winning Angels in America, 
slated for Robert Altman. 

Altman will be making additional con- 
tributions to screen sex. His Prét-d-Porler, 
a multistar vehicle about the Paris fash- 
ion world, reportedly climaxes with a 
startling shot of naked models parading 
down the runway to vociferous cheers. 
Also bucking the early-1994 trend to- 
ward family-style fare are such fall and 
winter releases as The Specialist, teaming 
Sharon Stone and Sly Stallone in a 
steamy shower scene, and the movie ver- 
sion of Michael Crichton's novel Disclo- 
sure, with Michael Douglas leveling sexu- 
al harassment charges against Demi 
Moore. There is skin to spare in Exit lo 
Eden, the Garry Marshall comedy about 
an island catering to its clients’ sado- 
masochistic fantasies. Alan Parker's The 
Road to Welluille, with Anthony Hopkins 
as Dr. John Kellogg, the breakfast-food 
visionary who ran a health spa in Michi- 
gan decades ago, spoofs the American 
preoccupation with fitness and sexual 
potency. 

As the sexual agenda advanced, there 
were a couple of welcome blasts from the 
past. Newly packaged versions of Mid- 
night Cowboy and A Streetcar Named Desire, 
complete with footage that had been 
scissored from their original releases, 
updated those classics. It just goes to 
show: It's never too late for progress. 


а 


e. 


“And best of all, I can arouse all of your 
erogenous zones at once!” 


SCARIEST CRIMINAL 


(continued from page 128) 
metal cylinder studded with gauges and 
dials—resting against the wall of the cof- 
fec-brcak room in Cory Hall. Dr. Ange- 
lakos lifted the apparatus and it tore 
apart his hand and arm. When he was 
finally released from the hospital he was 
no longer able to perform simple func- 
tions—cooking, cleaning, changing the 
bed linen for his dying wife. FC, mean- 
while, had left a tantalizing clue, 
a scorched scrap of paper that 
read: "Wu—lt works! I told you it 
would. R.V.” 

On May 16, 1985 a wooden box ar- 
rived at the Boeing plant in Auburn, 
Washington. It was addressed to the 
Fabrication Division. Postmark: May 8, 
Oakland, California. It was shunted 
around the plant for several weeks be- 
fore it finally came to rest on a shelf. It 
remained there until a workman took it 
down and tried to open it. The workman 
pried open one corner and didn't like 
what he saw inside. The bomb squad ar- 
rived, rendered the device safe and 
found the initials. The batteries in the 
bomb had weakened during the month 
it had sat on the shelf. FC had been 
thwarted by industrial inefficiency. It 
was only the second time one of his 
bombs had failed to explode. 

Patrick Webb, a 20-year-veteran FBI 
bomb specialist, heads the Bureau's 
Counterterrorism Squad in San Francis- 
co, where he has been based since 1974. 
He has investigated more than 100 
bombing crime scenes and staged anoth- 
er 200 at training schools over the past 
two decades. 

“You have to be careful with FC's de- 
vices,” Webb says. “The mail bombs are 
pretty secure. But with the placed de- 
vices, he has to arm them and make 
them live. So there's some risk in carry- 
ing these things and placing them so that 
they will function. You have to be para- 
noid and cautious to do this. I wouldn't 
want to carry them around with the bat- 
teries hooked up. You would have a 
hard time making it up those st 
Berkeley with a live bomb. Your balls 
would have to be big. It's a dangerous 
game." 

Webb believes the bomber has experi- 
mented over the ycars, perhaps reading 
publications rhat cater to survivalists, 
neofascists and assorted Weather Un- 
derground wanna-bes. His reading list 
might have included The Poor Man's 
James Bond (volumes I-II), The Anarchist 
Cookbook and Improvised Munitions Black 
Book. 


“He may select features out of these 
publications. He takes a little from menu 
A and a little from menu B. He puts 
them together and has his device. 

“But the creative part was making it 
look so innocent. I'm thinking here of 


SEAGRAM DISTILLERS CO., NY.; NY. 


Е 
= 
в 
Е 
Е 
б 
a 
= 
En 
Ф 
е 
5 
Ф. 
3 
A 
= 
I 


PLAYBOY 


148 


Hauser. The notebook... . .” 

May 15, 1985. Seven days after the 
Boeing device was mailed from Oak- 
land, John Hauser, a graduate student at 
UC-Berkeley, walked into Cory Hall. Ar 
that time, Hauser was a captain in the 
Air Force and had been invited to apply 
for a slot as a NASA astronaut. He de- 
scribes what it's like to open a bomb: 

"I was working in a research lab on 
the second floor of Cory Hall," recalls 
Hauser from his home in Boulder, 
where he is an engineering professor at 
the University of Colorado. “The room 
was maybe ten feet across, 20 feet long. 
There were a few tables with computers 
on them. 

“A friend of mine came in and we were 
talking. It was around lunchtime. After 
he left 1 saw a little plastic box on the 
table behind me. There was a three-ring 


notebook sitting on top of it.” 

The research laboratory was reserved 
for graduate students. No more than ten 
students would normally have access to 
the room. 

“So 1 thought, Is this Joe's or is it 
Mike’s?” Hauser continues. “I lifted the 
notebook and noticed that it had a rub- 
ber band around it, attaching it to the 
handle of this plastic box. I noticed the 
paper looked for the most part blank 
and that the latch on the box was sort of 
undone.” 

Hauser is remarkably composed as he 
recalls the moment that shattered his 
life. “I went to open the box with my 
right hand. At that point something det- 
опагей the bomb. 

“The explosion threw my arm back 90 
degrees,” says Hauser. “My first thought 
was: Why did they do that? It was such 


“Mother, how many times have I asked you not to 
call me on this phone?” 


a shock. I grabbed my arm. Locking 
around, I could see some of the batteries 
on the floor. Things were really torn up. 
I stayed up on my feet. The blast made 
the heavy steel table look like a wash- 
basin.” 

Hauser recalls the sensations that 
passed through him at that moment. “It 
felt like all the nerves in my right arm 
were on fire. You know how your arm 
feels when you bang your elbow on 
something? Take that and put it in every 
nerve of your arm.” 

Today Hauser's fingers, what's left of 
them, are almost totally absent sensa- 
tion. The thumb is useless. A three-by- 
two-inch portion of his right arm is miss- 
ing. “They removed one piece of metal 
that was two inches long and a quarter of 
an inch wide, a piece ofthe pipe that had 
drilled its way down to my elbow. 

"I wore my Air Force Academy ring on 
my right hand." Hauser holds up his 
partial digit. "The bomb shot that plus 
my finger into a plaster wall with such. 
force that it made an imprint. On the 
wall you could see the curvature of the 
stonc and actually discern the word 
ACADEMY.” 

There was nothing personal to this 
one. It was a site-specific bomb that was 
left for whoever became too curious. 
Hauser was just unlucky. But FC knew it 
had to be somebody in the graduate 
school of engineering. Seven of his 
bombs were mailed to specific persons 
and seven were left at specific sites. He 
didn't pick these individuals and places 
out of a hat. One fact is clear: FC does 
not care if his victims are maimed, blind- 
ed or killed. 

Dr. James McConnell should know. 
McConnell was the author of a standard 
college psychology text, a specialist in 
biochemistry and behavior modification 
and a professor at the University of 
Michigan. On November 15, 1985, six 
months to the day after Hauser was 
ripped apart, Dr. McConnell was at his 
home in Ann Arbor with a graduate 
assistant. The two men were going 
through the day's mail. One large mani- 
la envelope with a Salt Lake City post- 
mark came with a cover letter requesting 
that McConnell please review “this the- 
sis, which should be of interest.” After 
reading the letter, McConnell’s assistant 
opened the envelope. The blast injured 
both his arms and his abdomen. Mc- 
Connell was not injured. 

Twenty-six days later, Hugh Scrutton 
stepped out of his store in Sacramento 
and picked up the fatal paper bag. 

FC was quiet for a year after Scrutton's 
murder. He appeared in Salt Lake City 
in February 1987 at the rear of Caams, 
Inc., another computer store in yet an- 
other strip mall. 

He apparently walked up to the back 
entrance of Caams, Inc. holding the 


The GOLDEN AGE of BASEBALL (al 


CHESS SET -E"- 


A 
ag” 


Us che ultimate all-star game between baseball's “dream teams.” The Game's all-time greats, as 
ПЕ by “Baseball's Bible,” The Sporting News, line up in The Golden Age of Baseball Chess Set— 
the very first chess set ever authorized by Major League Baseball. Led by kings Babe Ruth and 
Hank Aaron, the Game’s greatest are all here. Cobb, Mays, Gehrig, Robinson, Williams, Musial, 


and more, plus sixteen batand-ball pawns. 
Hand-cast in solid pewter, with bronze plating applied to the American League pieces, 

the look of these immortals is captured with incredible detail and drama. Each piece 

is just $19.95, including biographical literature from the archives of The Sporting News. 
The stadium-design chessboard and display case —with a genuine baseball at 

each corner—and a Certificate of Authenticity are included at no additional charge. 

And your satisfaction is guaranteed, with the right to cancel at any time. 


©1994 Cameo С 


Various players under license by Curtis Management Authenticated by 


©1994 Stan the Man Inc r1 NM 
©1994 Major League Baseball Properties ©1994 The Sporting News Tine: 
©1994 Longton Crown Collections, 9202 Center for the Arts, Niles, IL60714 © - 


Г RESERVATION FORM 
PL ; RESPOND BY November 15, 1994 
YES. Please enter my 


Baseball Chess Set 


vation for the Golden Age of 
М me two pewter chess pieces с 
month. and bil per month. The sct includes 32 chess 

pieces in all. The handsome chess hoard and display case. as well as Certificate of 
Authenticity and history and stats about cach baseball player are included at no extra charge. 


is unconditionally guaranteed for 60 days. 


са ar a ар 


1 may cancel ту subscripción at any cime 
V. Cece one: из. Miss Ms. Mr 25 i 5 
1 Name (please prin] 
pm z = ди ма 
1 
1 су Е 
| Telephone - 

The chesthourd features a stadium design and. Е 

ife us 1 sexo Longton Crown wii 

real baseballs on all four corners. | TO COLLECTIONS 9202 Center or the Arts, Niles. IL. 60714-9019 

оох атотт-ез0201 р 


PLAYBOY 


150 


device—two two-by-fours glued together 
and studded with bent nails. It looked 
like a piece of construction trash. FC set 
it down carefully in the parking space 
right behind the Caams door. When he 
suaightened he was looking right into 
the eyes of a woman on the other side of 
a window. She sat at her desk and stared 
at him. FC then turned and walked away 
without the slightest trace of nervous- 
ness. The woman didn't think about the 
encounter until the bomb went off 45 
minutes later when the owner of Caams 
kicked the armed debris out of his 
parking spot. The blast injured his foot 
and calf 

After learning of the incident, federal 
investigators arrived and interviewed 
the woman. She described a white male, 
25 to 30 years old, nearly six feet tall 
with blond or sun-bleached hair and a 
ruddy complexion. He had a thin mus- 


tache and wore a hooded jacket and tint- 
ed glasses. He appeared calm, even after 
she made eye contact with him. 

Almost immediately after the explo- 
sion and interview, a sketch of FC was 
broadcast. Car rental oudets and motels 
throughout the Salt Lake area were 
checked, and police were placed on 
alert. But no one turned up anything. It 
was as if FC had disappeared. 

Six years went by with no word or 
bomb from FC. A few agents believed it 
was only a matter of time before he 
resurfaced; most speculated that their 
bomber was either dead, out of the 
country, in prison on an unrelated 
charge or in a mental institution 

For the FBI and the ATF 1993 was a 
hellish year. It began with the Branch 
Davidian siege in February and moved 
on to the World ‘Trade Center bombing. 
Unabom was a low priority—until June. 


“Sorry to bust in like this, шл, but commercial fishing 


is prohibited by t 


e Department of Parks.” 


99, 


On Tuesday, June 22, 1993, Dr. 
Charles Epstein, a world-renowned ge- 
neticist and professor at the University 
of California-San Francisco, pulled the 
strip tab on a padded mailer while he 
was seated at his kitchen table. It was a 
violent explosion. Neighbors heard it. 
Epstein recalls a flash and a bang. The 
blast threw him back three feet against 
the wall. Several of the fingers of his 
right hand were torn off, and his right 
arm was broken. 

FBI Special Agent Webb was crossing 
the Golden Gate Bridge on his way to his 
daughter's recital when he got the call. 
“1 got to Epstein's probably a half hour 
after it went off. Five in the afternoon. It 
had blown out the windows in the 
kitchen and tipped over a table that was 
six feet across and three inches thick. 
Just rolled it right over. Blood all over 
the place. Epstein was able to get out to 
the street, where a carpet cleaning crew 
was packing to go. They wrapped his 
wounds in towels and then called the 
paramedics. 

“He also suffered penetration through 
his abdomen and a loss of hearing. He 
used to play the cello very well, 1 was 
told. That's over." 

On Thursday, June 24, Dr. David Gel- 
ernter, a computer scientist at Yale and 
the author of a computer language 
called LINDA, opened a similar package 
in his New Haven office. After it explod- 
cd Dr. Gelernter stumbled from his 
office, down the stairs and into the 
street. He staggered to the university 
clinic a block away, blood gushing from 
his chest and right arm. 

That same day The New York Times re- 
ceived a letter that read, in part: "We are 
an anarchist group calling ourselves FC. 
A newsworthy cvent will happen about 
the time you receive this letter. Ask the 
FBI about FC. They have heard of us. 
We will give information about our goals 

с time." 
igit number was on the letter 
to “ensure the authenticity of any future 
communications from us." 

The number turned out to be a Social 
Security ID issued to a man who had re- 
cently been paroled from a California 
prison and who was residing in the 
northern part of the state. Unabom in- 
vestigators were unable to make a direct 
connection between the former inmate 
and the bombs. It seemed to be another 
dead end. “Although more than one in- 
dividual could be involved,” says Terry 
Turchie, current head of the Unabom 
task force, “all indications are that it is a 
single person.” 

The best—and only—evidence comes 
from FC's bombs. He avoids sophisticat- 
ed technology and fashions his bombs 
without electronic switches, heat sensors 
or motion detectors. He doesn't use 
timers. 

“As for triggering," Webb explains, 


SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Smoking 
By Pregnant Women May Result in Fetal 
Injury, Premature Birth, And Low Birth Weight. 


MMM Basic а 


FILTERS 


sim TERS 


©The Ameccar Tobacco Co 1004. 
EPISTOLAE EE EE zi 
Manvactrers Coupee | tapis 33185 1 
1 
| 
|| 
І 
\ To be placed on our maling ist complete the following (Pase Prini) | 
мес М.М О ла conste 1 
їй Street Address е» сее толмо moda |} 
| | D e State у e M 
а a | 
Мер de 
7 Т) SEK: Male CFemale 2) Date of Birth: Mo — Day vr a 1 
Based on З) MY REGULAR BRAND IS: => een | 
Wir FLAVOR С меп Non Venio ш 
manufacturers list price 5) LENGTH Г Regular or King (> 10054 ong 120 stra Long Sao ate e 1 
6) TYPE: Uta Light L Light ow Tar (Ful Favor L Мог-Р Нес rn, Во NE ара 1 
1 
1 
43300 13890 П 


ON THE NEB s terra conser 


Е Кет TONIGHT, ма 
| | enecreonic Реко! 
> I BouGHT a 
морем! 


| т JUST INSTALL THIS AND PLUG IT INTO THe. 
PHoNe Jack, AND I'LL ве ок THE нет, 
соммомсатна WITH Real People oN 


COMPUTERS AROUND THe мекс! 


IM MOVING UP. 
Now. I'M KISSING 
THe вас 


WieW! THATS 
INTegacrive ! 


| 


Mil [| ша 


WHAT? UH...T THe INCIDENT Has 25 YOUR ATTORNEY, T THINK We сам 
DoN'T ремемвер, || LEFT Нер UNABLE GET THIS Reduce) To MISDEMEANOR. 
Hey, THey Wepenr|| To МТевасг C4BeRsexuaL Нараемент — Вог 
REAL Pannes, NEL£CTRON : WITH oNe CONDITION. 


CIBER русе, | We'Re INVESTIGATING 
МЕ. “Кет SURFER.” You'Re а POSSIBLE 
WANTED DoWNToWN | сувев assauLT 

FoR QUESTIONING. lon а “MS, PoPTaRT” 
3 Last NIGHT, 


тнеч Were 
CYBER Panties! 


Нат You agree To 


Have Чоок Морем мне. 


Severed. 


Мнат!? You 
THINK 4..2 
we Were JUST 
HAVING FUN 
ON THe нет! 


HoW авойт а 
Nice Game 
oF Solitaire? 


PLAYBOY 


154 


= E 
Term Paper Assistance 


Catalog of 19,278 research papers 
Order Catalog Today with Visa/ MC or COD 


— - 


REE» 1-800-851-0222 
Catena сей I0 477.625 
Monday - Friday 10am - 5 рт (Расте time) 


Or send $2.00 with coupon below 
ur 306-page catalog cortas detailed descnpons ol 19 278 
esearch papers. 3 virtual library of кїтїп at your 
Angers Footnote ard bbicgraphe pages are Iren ürdemg 
5 easy as picking up уси phone Let this valuable 
tdocatorol ак serve you througout your college years 
EXAMPLES OF CATALOG TOPICS. 
15759- WORK RELATED STRESS Ways l0 mammae 
And marage siess, emphasizing human relations 
and envrormental approaches 9 tocinotes 7 
biographies. 6 pages 
15842 -GROUNOWATER CONTAMINATION Ongirs 
res есопотс гойса пет asperis Proposed 
Soliton based on costibeneht analysis ol socol 
caplal 17 копсиз. Dbbioyaphes B pages 
reh Assstarce ко prove ouch and thesis 
jance Ом sah of O prolessional writers each wring 


im по el of expense can assist you WIN ai үйл тез 
reed: 


QUALITY GUARANTEED! 


RESEARCH ASSISTANCE 

11322 Idaho Ave.. Suite 206-KP 1 

West Los Angeles. Сапота 80025 

Pracerush my catalog Ereeseds $2 00 o ewer poshge | 
1 
| 


| Name _ = 


‚Address 


To introduce vou to the finest 
quality condoms from Federal, we'll send you 20 
FREE! Send for yours today! For over 40 years, Federal 
has offered the world's largest selection of condams at 
discount prices direct to you through the privacy of mail. 
re ra тн suey age 


CHECK ONE ONLY 


-120FREE SPECIAL J SUPER BONUS 
CONDOMS ^ OFFER 6 glow OFFER 50 condoms 
(SenóS2 inthe dark plus 6 gow in the dark 
handing) condoms plus 20 condoms plus 6 NEW 
FREE condoms. Intensity condoms plus 
Send 55. 20 FREE condoms 
Send 510. 


For FREE catalog only, call 1-800-270-1480 


Send cash, check or money order to: Federal Pharmacal INC. 
28835-218 N. Herky Drive Пери. Р81191, Lake Bluff IL 60044 


Name 
Address 
City _ = = 
Sat —— -Zip 


Мод vhere prohibited. 
Зпрред in dscreel packages © 1994 Federal Plarmacel Inc 


Like a mousetrap snapping shut. Two 


wires suddenly come together, which ig- 
nites the nitro stew in the pipe. 
“Nitro-based explosives will break up 


” says Webb. “Smokeless pow- 
der will just rip it along the seam and 
flatten it. Black powder will blow out the 
end caps. Potassium chlorate and sugar 
will never cause И to break up. C,? You 
end up barely finding the pieces. These 
are high-intensity explosions at 21,000 
feet per second. When molten metal 
cools it gets real sharp on the edges. His 
bombs are somewhere in the middle.” 

FC crafis his weapons with care and 
patience. Evidence shows that he spends 
considerable time taking them apart and 
putting them back together. Over and 
over again. They must seem almost alive 
in his hands as he slides the wood, metal 
and springs between his fingers, sharp- 
ens and polishes slivers of steel, cases his 
pipes with handwrought aluminum. He 
ensures that they be opened or 
touched in just the right way and dis- 
guises them so that they will fit into their 
environment easily. All this time and at- 
tention and skill is devoted to one goal: 
to kill and maim. 

Mary Ellen O'Toole is a profiler 
the FBI's National Center for the Analy- 
sis of Violent Crime. An agent for 13 
years, she currently works the task 
force, updating the profile she helped 
develop last fall with fellow profilers Jim 
Wright and Joe Chisholm. 

“The motivation for the bombings 
when he started may not be what's moti- 
vating him now." Agent O'Toole speaks 
with a soft, deliberate cadence. “As time 
goes on with any series of violent crimes, 
the person gets better at what he does. 

“1 think we all agree this guy has some 
unique characteristics. When he's finally 
identified, one of the most compelling 
features will likely be his apparent nor- 
malcy to those who thought that they 
knew him. 

“He is patient, very much in control 
and deliberate in his planning. Control 
is important to this person. You see, 
those who know him would probably de- 
scribe him in the same way. 

“This is not somebody who would seek 
to call attention to himself. He would in- 
ternalize rather than externalize his 
emotions. But there would be someone 
close to him who either suspects or is ac- 
tually aware of his activities. It’s that per- 
son who we hope comes forward.” 

“I think initially he had a cause for do- 
ing it,” says Tony Muljat pensively. “But 
right now? I think из him against the 
world, the world being law enforcement. 
He's going to see who can outdo whom. 
He works sporadically. Between 1982 
and 1985, nothing. In 1986, nothing. 


Between 1987 and 1993, nothing. 

He lets his wide shoulders fall against 
the back of his chair. “I can see him mov- 
ing away from academic targets. 1 think 
he will broaden his horizons and go into 
a lot of different areas. 

“We've had 4000 to 5000 leads and 
we've followed them all. We've devel- 
oped possible suspects and they've all 
washed out. Nobody's talking because 
nobody knows. He fits the environment 
wherever he may be. He doesn't stick 
out. But if | ever come across this per- 
son, I'll know it. I feel that inside.” 

Back in Sacramento, Bob Bell also ob- 
sesses on FC. The fact remains that of all 
the bomber’s victims, Bell's case was the 
homicide. He takes it personally. It’s not 
the feds’ victim, it’s Bell's. The case 
works hi keenly as it did when he 
stood over Hugh Scrution’s body nine 
years ago. 

“We've looked at the calendar a thou- 
sand times. We've looked at academic 
calendars. We've looked at moon charts. 
‘There are hundreds of theories. We 
have no idea what triggers him. If we 
understood his motive we would under- 
stand his trigger mechanism. The profile 
is just obvious stuff. You don't need a 
profile to know two motives are power 
and control. He's been playing with us 
for all these years, specifically with the 
FBI. He's been having a ball.” 

Bell slows down to reflect. "I'm a 
homicide detective. When we have possi 
ble suspects, we talk with them one-on 
one. That's the way you find things out. 
But the FBI likes to put suspects under 
surveillance. They will watch somebody 
for six months without talking to them 
We don't work like that, and they don't 
do homicides. 1 always wondered, had 
the initials been released and a lot of the 
details, what would've been his activity? 
Maybe he would be getting his message 
out sooner. And maybe we would've got- 
ten to him. 

“I've seen all the devices,” Bell ex- 
plains, “the Serutton device and all the 
others since 1980, He constructs devices 
that enhance the power of the bomb and 
of metal. There are several layers of met- 
al on the pipe. According to the bomb 
experts, the explosive material he uses 
is nitro-based, very powerful. These 
bombs are designed to kill. 10: luck 
that a fragment hasn't killed somebody 
besides Scrutton. 

Bell then offers a metaphor. “He did 
undergraduate work until RenTech. 
Then he graduated with the death of 
Hugh Scrution. Now he's doing post- 
graduate work, 

"But," Bell says, “the fact of the matter 
is, he will continue to place devices. He is 
going to kill again. There's no doubt 
about it. We don't know when, but it will 
happen. He's not going to stop now. 


Official Rawlings baseball personally 


autographed by American hero, Mickey Mantle  YourSon 


Authentic Los Angeles Kings Puck 7 : : 
personally autographed by Wayne Gretzky ea ze 


Еутуст, 


Own a piece of sports history when you purchase a 
unique collectible from Upper Deck Authenticated. 
Every signed product we sell is protected by our 
unique authentication process which includes a 
numbered hologram and matching certificate of 
authenticity. Order one of these exclusive products 
and your sports memories will last a lifetime. 


Order Now! 


Authentic Wison Football personal Supplies are Limited. 


autographed by Joe Montana “Call 1-800-456-2007 Ext. 300 


Or to see our full collection of sports memorabilia 
gifts, call or send for a free subscription to our catalog. 


1 To order by mail: 

Yes, | would like a FREE subscription to your catalog! 
1 SKU#10323 - Mickey Mantle Baseball - $119.00* 

| (]5кин10213 - Wayne Gretzky Puck - $129.0% 

! SKU#10158 - Joe Montana Football - $249.9 

! [El sku+12736 - Michael Jordan Newspaper - $99.95" 
І 

1 

| 

1 


City State ZIP 


Make check payable to: Upper Deck Authenticated 
Upper Deck Authenticated, Dept. 300. PO. Box 182266, Chattanooga, TN 3 


Authentic framed Jordan Polirement Chicago Tribune 
M, ‘Deck is a trademark of The Upper Deck Company. Used mission. The Authenticated 
Includes second issue for reading BG закана pes Кетен Lt AI Fugit Pasar. 


156 


WHERE 


| ——————— 


HOW TO BUY 


a 


PLAYBOY expands jour pur- 
chasing power by providing a 
lisi of retailers and manufac- 
turers you can contact for in- 
formation on where to find this 
month's merchandise. To buy 
the apparel and equipment 
shown on pages 22, 30, 
124-127, 130-131 and 177, 
check the listings below to find 
the stores nearest you. 


WIRED 
Page 30: “Doom's Day”: 
Computer games by Id Soft- 
ware, for information, 800- 
ID-GAMES. "Wild Things": 
Computer peripheral by 
APC, available where com- 
puters are sold. For infor- 
mation, 800-800-4272. 


SOVIET CHIC 
Fages 124-127: Clocks and 


STYLE 
Page 22: “Bully Woollies": Topcoat by Ves- 
timento, at Ultimo, 114 E. Oak St., Chica- 
go. 312-787-0906. Coat by Salvatore Fer- 
ragamo, at Salvatore Ferragamo, 725 Fifth 
Ave., NYC, 212-759-7990. Polo coat by 
Joseph Abboud, at Saks Fifth Avenue stores. 
‘Jacket by Emporio Armani, at Emporio Ar- 
mani stores, Stadium coat by EZ by 
Ermenegildo Zegna, at Ermenegildo Zegna, 
743 Fifth Ave., NYC, 219-421-4488. “Fan- 
cy Footwear": Oxfords: By Kenneth Cole, 
for locations, 800-487-4389. By Salvatore 
Ferragamo, at Saks Fifth Avenue stores. 
Lace-ups and slip-ons by To Boot by Adam 
Derrick, at Bergdorf Goodman Men, 745 
Fifth Ave., NYC, 212-753-7300. Loafers 
by Susan Bennis Warren Edwards, at Susan 
Bennis Warren Edwards, 22 W. 57th St., 
NYC, 212-582-0680. Slip-ons: By Philippe 
Model, at Bergdorf Goodman Men, 745 
Fifth Ave., NYC, 212-753-7300. By Bally, 
at all Bally stores, 800-825-5030. Loafers 
by Cole-Haan, at all Cole-Haan stores. 
“Hot Shopping: New York's East Village": 
X-Large Store, 212-477-0012. Alphabets, 
212-475-7250. Style Swami, 212-254- 
1249. Swish, 212-673-8629. Jules, 212- 
477-5560. "Clothes Line": Suits by Brioni, 
at Bergdorf Goodman Men, 745 Fifth 
Ave., NYC, 212-753-7300 and Brioni Bou- 
tique, 55 E. 52nd St., NYC, 212-355-1940. 
Shoes by Bally, for information, 800-825- 
5030. Overcoat by Aquascutum, 680 Fifth 
Ave., NYC, 212-975-0520. Ties by Yohji 
Yamamoto, 103 Grand Ave., NYC, 800-803- 
4443 (in NY, 212-966-9066). “Lip Ser- 
vice": Lip balm: By Chap Stick, Blistex and 
Vaseline, at drugstores, supermarkets and 
mass merchandisers. By Kiehl's, for loca- 
tions, 800-KIEHLSL. By Polo Sport Skin Care 
Collection, at Polo Sport, 888 Madison 
Ave., NYC, 212-434-8000. 


a гнотостатну Dv з NENT BARKER. PATTY SEALOET (21 BENNO CREOHAN, олио COCOMAN: RON MESAROS 
MAN. VOY KEVIN EUMMINGLONDON FEATURES. JILL GREENBURGONY. LOREN HAYNES/OUTUINE. MEN SETTLE: P 102 


binoculars are distributed 
by Sunset Cliff Merchandising Corp., 800- 
225-9407. MiG ejector chair from the 
IBD Group, 313-741-4248. 


OVER THE TOP COATS 

Page 130: Longshoreman coat by John 
Bartlett, at Bergdorf Goodman Men, 745 
Fifth Ave, NYC, 212-753-7300. Turtle- 
neck by John Bartlett, at Charivari 57. 18 
W. 57th St, NYC, 212-333-4040 and I. 
Magnin, 135 Stockton St., San Francisco, 
415-362-2100. Trousers by John Bartlett, at 
Saks Fifth Avenue. Boots by Kenneth Cole, 
at Bloomingdale's. Topcoat, suit, shirt 
and tie by Calvin Klein, at Calvin Klein, 
199 Boyleton St., Chestnut Hill, MA, 617- 
527-8975 and South Coast Plaza, Costa 
Mesa, CA, 714-557-3100. Shoes by 7o Boot 
by Adam Derrick, at Bergdorf Goodman 
Men, 745 Fifth Ave., NYC, 212-753-7300. 
Page 131: Military-style coat and sweater 
by Gianni Versace, at Gianni Versace, 816 
Madison Ave, NYC, 219-744-5572 
Trousers by Byblos, at Ron Herman/Fred 
Segal Melrose, 8100 Melrose Ave., Los 
Angeles, 213-651-3342 and Allure, 1509 
Walnut St, Philadelphia, 215-561-4242_ 
Topcoat by Donna Karan, at select Barneys 
New York stores. Suit by Hugo Boss, at 
Hugo Boss Shop, 1201 Connecticut Ave. 
NW, Washington, DC, 202-887-5081. 
Shirt by Donna Karan, at Saks Fifth Av- 
enue, 611 Fifth Ave., NYC, 212-753-4000. 
Tie by Joseph Abboud, at Joseph Abboud, 
37 Newbury St, Boston, 617-266-4200. 


ON THE SCENE 

Page 177: Snowboards: By Pyramid Snow- 
boards, 206-633-3331. By Division 23, 
at Eastern Board, 508-348-1119, Pacific 
Drive, 619-270-336] and B.C. Sun and 
Surf, 303-972-1300. By Black Flys, 
714-646-3381. 


а ROMAN SALICHI/SHOOTING STAR, P 169 PAUL SHER 


L MATTHEWS. EXCLUSIVELY LICENSED то TOPPS 


=) 

бү TIME 

(continued from page 80) 
that there was nothing psychosomatic 
about the excellent health Yossarian was 
enjoying, and that the hair on his head 
was genuine too. 

“Although,” added the chief psychia- 
trist, clearing his throat, "I am honor- 
bound to flag you as a very good candi- 
date for late-life depression.” 

“Late-life depression?” Yossarian 
savored the term, “About when would 
that be?” 

“About now. What do you do that you 
really enjoy?” 

“Not much, I'm afraid. 1 run after 
women, but not too hard. I make more 
money than I need.” 

“Do you enjoy that?” 

“No. Гуе got no ambition and there's 
not much left I want to get done.” 

“No golf, bridge, tennis? Art or an- 
tique collecting?” 

“That's all out of the question." 

“The prognosis is not good.” 

“Tve always known that.” 

“The way it looks to us now, Mr. Yos- 
sarian,” said the chief medical director, 
speaking for the whole institution, with 
Leon Shumacher's head, three-quarters 
bald, hanging over his shoulder, “you 
might live forever.” 

He had nothing to worry about, it 
seemed, but inflation and deflation, 
higher interest rates and lower interest 
rates, the budget deficit, the threat of 
war and the dangers of peace, the unfa- 
vorable balance of trade and a favorable 
balance of trade, the new president and 
the old chaplain, and a stronger dollar 
and a weaker dollar, along with friction, 
entropy, radiation and gravity. 

But he worried too about his new pal 
nurse Melissa MacIntosh because she 
had no money saved. Her parents had 
none either, and if she lived long 
enough, she would have to live on only 
her Social Security benefits and a ри- 
tance of a retirement pension from the 
hospital, provided she continued work- 
ing there for the next 20 or 30 years, 
which seemed out of the question, unless 
she met and married before then some 
fine gentleman of means who was as ap- 
pealing to her then as Yossarian was to 
her now, which seemed to him entirely 
out of the question also. Few men could 
talk dirty to her so charmingly. More 
than once he contemplated her with a 
pang: She was too innocent to abandon 
to the heartless dynamics of financial cir- 
cumstance, too sweet, unsuspecting and 
unselfish. 

“What you absolutely must do,” he 
said one day after she had begged him to 
advise whether she and her roommate 
should open individual retirement ac- 
counts—Yossarian advised that he could 
not see what fucking practical use an in- 
dividual retirement account was going to 
be in the long run to anybody but the 


banks soliciting them—"is marry some- 
one like me now, a man with some mon- 
ey saved who knows something about in- 
surance policies and legacies and has 
been married only one time before.” 

“Would you be too old for me?” she 
asked in a fright 

“You would be too young for me. Do it 
soon, do it today. Even a doctor might 
work. Before you know it you'll be as old 
as Lam and you won't have a thing.” 

He worried too about the reckless sen- 
timentality of extending concern to a 
person who needed it. 

"That was not the American way. 

‘The last thing he needed was anoth- 
er dependent. Or two, for she spoke 
with pride of an 


and black stockings with climbing ser- 
pentine patterns had no rich parents or 
money saved either, and Yossarian won- 
dered to himself: 

What was wrong with this lousy earth, 
anyway? 

It seemed to him reasonable that 
everyone toward whom he bore no 
grudge should have enough money as- 
sured to face a future without fear, and 
he hung his head in his noble reverie of 
compassion and wanted to take this out- 
standing, full-bosomed waif of a room- 
mate into his arms to dry her tears and 
assuage all her anxieties and unzip her 
dress as he stroked her backside. 

He began to grow so troubled about 


patients do you think he sees in a week 
to whom he can bring good news? That 
guys disasters are among the few 
around me I might be able to avert.” 
“They aren't mine,” said the joyless 
oncologist, upon whose small features a 
foreboding aspect seemed to have set- 
tled as naturally as the blackness of night 
and the gray skies of winter. “You'd be 
surprised, though, how many people 
come to believe they really are my fault. 
Even colleagues don't like me. Not many 
people want to talk to me. It may be the 


could not see that he had much. “Does 
it buck you up to 


eye-catching, fun- 
loving roommate 
in her cramped 
apartment, a wom- 
an named Angela 
Moore who was 
taller than she and 
freer, a natural 
blonde Australian 
with her brighter- 
blonde hair and a 
larger bosom, who 
wore stiletto heels 
and used white lip- 
stick and white eye 
makeup and who 
worked as sales rep- 
resentative for a 
novelty manufac- 
turer to which she 
submitted ribald 
ideas for new prod- 
ucts that rendered 
tongue-tied and in- 
credulous the two 
elderly Jewish fami- 
ly men who owned 
the company as 
partners, and made 
them blush. She 
liked the effect she 
knew she made in 
the costly midtown 
bars to which she 


Whatever you do, 


dont shake the magazine. 


know that sooner 
or later you are 
likely to play an 
important role in 
my life?” 

“Only a little.” 


REMY MARTIN 


Remy Martin Fine Champagne cognac. Exclusively 
from grape of the Cognac region's rwo best arcas 


His name was Den- 
nis Теетег “And 
where would you 
want me to begin?" 

"Wherever you 
want to that is with- 
out pain or discom- 
fort,” Yossarian an- 
swered cheerily 

“You don't have a 
symptom anywhere 
that might suggest 
a closer investiga- 
tion.” 

“Why wait for 
symptoms?” que- 
ried Yossarian, talk- 


ing down to e- 
cialist “Is it not 
conceivable that 


since we conclud- 
ed our last explo- 
rations something 
may have originat- 
ed that is blooming 
as the two of us sit 
here procrastinat- 
ing complacently?” 


often went after 
work to meet the 
convivial business executives to go danc- 
ing with after dinner and then ard 
without pity at the downstairs doorway 
of the apartment house when her eve- 
ning ended. She hardly ever met any she 
liked enough to want to stay longer with 
because she hardly ever let herself drink 
enough to get drunk, The private phone 
number she gave out was of the city 
morgue, a fact Melissa MacIntosh relat- 
ed to him in such joyful praise of her 
confident and exuberant conduct that 
Yossarian knew he would fall in love with 
this woman at first sight provided that 
he never laid eyes on her, and would re- 
main deeply in love until he saw her the 
second time. But the tall blonde some- 
where near 40 with the white makeup 


‘Sole USA Dao пет Arne taue. Hes WY, NI OD Pook 40% Ak Nl. ©1991 


Melissa MacIntosh's good heart and pre- 
carious economic future that he began to 
worry about his own future as well and 
decided to demand the oncologist back 
for some tip-top guarantees about a ma- 
jor killer and to hear him discourse fur- 
ther perhaps on the supremacy of biol- 
ogy in human activities and the tyranny 
of the genes in regulating societies and 
history. 

“You're crazy," said Leon. 

“Then get me the psychiatrist too." 

“You don't have cancer. Why do you 
want him. 

“To do him a good deed, dope. Don't 
you believe in good deeds? The poor lit- 
Пе fuck is just about the gloomiest bas- 
tard I've ever laid eyes on. How many 


Dennis Teemer 
went along with a 
shimmer of animation. "1 guess 1 have 
more fun with you than I do with most 
of my other patients, don't 1?” 

“1 told Leon that.” 

"But that may be because you're not 
really my patient,” said Dr. Teemer. 
“What you conjecture is conceivable, of 
course. Butit is no more likely to be hap- 
pening to you than to anybody else." 

"And what difference does that make 
to me?" countered Yossarian. “It is not 
much solace to know we all are suscepti- 
ble. Leon thinks ГЇЇ feel better knowing 
I'm no worse off than he is. Let's get 
started." 

"Suppose we begin with another chest 
X ray?” 


“God, no!" cried Yossarian in mock 157 


PLAYBOY 


INTRODUCTORY SALE! 
60% SAVINGS! 


Adam & Eve offers you a full line of high 
quality condoms with discreet, direct-to-your- 
door delivery. 

Our deluxe 75 condom collection offers you 
the unique luxury of trying over 14 world-class 
condom brands including Trojan, Lifestyles, 
Prime, Gold Circle Coins, plus some of the 
finest Japanese brands. 

As a special introductory offer, you can get 
the Super 75 Collection (a full $29.95 value if 
purchased individually) for ONLY $9.95. 
That's a savings of over 60%! Or try our 38 
Condom Sampler for only $5.95. Use the 
coupon below to claim your savings now! 

Money-Back Guarantee: You must agree 
that Adam & Eve's condoms and service are the 
best available anywhere, or we'll refund your 
money in full, no questions asked 


Visa & MasterCard Orders Call 
Toll Free 1-800-274-0333 


24 Hours A Day / 7 Days a Week 
Adam 8 Eve, Р.О. Box 900, Carrboro, NC 27510 


Send Check or Bank Money Onder To. PB144 
Adam & Eve • P.O. Box S00 • Carrboro, NC 27510 


L YES! Please rush my CONDOM 
COLLECTION in plain packaging 
under your money-back guarantee. 


coven _ шм ore mece 


59.95 = 


TOTAL 


1 

1 

1 

! 

1 

1 

1 

1 

| #5554 Super 75 Collection 

1 #6623 38 Condom Collection —— $595 
| Postage & Handling 
1 
1 
1 
1 
Ц 
1 
! 
1 


Rush Service Add 52. 


FREE. 


alarm. “That might just get one started! 
You know how I feel about X rays and 
asbestos.” 

“And tobacco too. Should I give you 
a statistic 1 think you'll relish? Did 
you know that more Americans die each 
year of diseases related to smoking than 
were killed in all of the years of World 
War Two?” 

“a> 

“Then I suppose we might as well go 
ahead. Should 1 hammer your knee to 
test your reflexes?” 

т what?" 

“For free.” 

"Can't we at least do a biopsy?” 

"Of what?" 

"Of anything that is accessible and 
simple." 

“Ifyou will find that reassuring.” 

“I will sleep easier.” 

“We can scrape another mole or an- 
other one of your liver spots. Or should 
we test the prostate again? The prostate 
is not uncommon.” 

“Mine is unique,” Yossarian disagreed. 
“It’s the only one that's mine. Let's do 
the mole. Shumacher has a prostate my 
age. Let me know when you find some- 
thing wrong with hi 

“1 can tell you now,” said Yossarian's 
favorite oncologist, “that it will give me 
great pleasure to inform you that the re- 
sults are negative.” 

“1 can tell you now,” said Yossarian, 
“that I will be happy го hear it. 

Yossarian yearned to go deeper with 
this depressed man into the depressing 
nature of the pathologies in the depress- 
ing world of his work and the depressing 
nature of the universe in which they had 
each been successful in surviving thus 
far and which was growing more unre- 

able daily—there were holes in the 
ozone, they were running out of room 
for the disposal of garbage, burning the 
garbage contaminates the air, they were 
running out of air—but Yossarian was 
afraid he would find that conversation 
depressing. 

All of this cost money, of course. 

“Of course,” said Yossarian. 

“Where is it coming from?” Leon Shu- 
macher wondered out loud, with a pal- 
pable snarl of envy. 

“I'm old enough for Medicare now.” 

“Medicare won't cover a fraction of 
this.” 

“And the rest is coming from a terrific 
plan I have.” 

“I wish I had a plan like that,” 
said, sulking. 

Itcame, explained Yossarian, from the 
company for which he worked, where he 
was on the books in a semiexecutive ca- 
pacity as a semiretired semiconsultant 
and could remain for a lifetime provided 
he never tried to get much done. 

“I wish I had a job like that. What the 
hell does it mean?" Leon mimicked in 


Leon 


sneering derision. “Yossarian, John. Oc- 
cupation: semiretired semiconsultant. 
What the hell are our epidemiologists 
supposed to make of that one: 

“It's been another one of my careers. 1 
work part of the time for all of my fee 
and no one listens to more than half the 
things I say. I would call that a semire- 
tired semiconsultant, wouldn't you? We 
are M&M Enterprises and Associates. | 
am опс of the associates. The other peo- 
ple are enterprising. I associate, they 
enterprise.” 

“What do they really do?” 

“Whatever makes money and isn't dis- 
honestly criminal, 1 suppose,” Yossarian 
answered. 

“Is one word of this true?” 

“I have no way of knowing. They can 
lie to me as well as to everyone else. We 
keep secrets from one another. I'm not 
making it up. You can check. Tie me 
back up to that heart machine and see if 
it skips a beat when I tell a lie.” 

“Will it do that?" Leon asked with 
surprise. 

"1 don't see why it wouldn't.” 

“What do you do there?" 

“I object.” 

“Don't get so touchy.” 

“I'm answering your question,” Yos- 
sarian informed him pleasantly. "1 object 
to matters that are not up to my ethical 
standards, Sometimes I work very hard 
at objecting. Then they go ahead or 
don't. Lam the conscience ot the compa- 
ny, a moral presence, and that's another 
one of the things I've been doing since 1 
dropped by there more than 20 years 
ago for illegal help in keeping my chil- 
dren out of the Vietnam war. How'd you 
keep yours out?” 

“Medical school. Of course, they both 
switched to business administration a 
soon as the danger was past. By the way, 
my grapevine tells me you still seem to 
be having a pretty hot time with one of 
our favorite Hoor nurse: 

“Better than Um having with you and 
your associates,” 

“She's a very nice girl and a very good 
nurse.” 

“1 think I've noticed.” 

“Attractive, too.” 

Гуе seen that also 

“We have a number of fine specialists 
here who tell me frankly they'd like to 
get into her pants. 

“That's crude, Leon, really crude, and 
you ought to be ashamed,” Yossarian ге. 
n with disgust. “It’s a most 
of saying you'd alll like to 


obscene 


fuck her.” 
е 


Toward the end of Yossarian's second 
week in the hospital they hatched the 
plot that drove him out. 

They drove him out with the man 
from Belgium in the room adjacent to 


his. The man from Belgium was a finan- 
cial wise man with the European Union. 
He was a very sick financial wise man 
who spoke little English, which did not 
matter much because he had just had 
part of his throat removed and could not 
speak at all. He understood hardly any 
either, which mattered greatly to the 
nurses and several doctors, who were 
unable to address him in ways that had’ 
meaning. All day and much of the night 
he had at his bedside his waxen and 
diminutive Belgian wife in unpressed 
fashionable clothes, who smoked ciga- 
reues continually and understood по 
English either and jabbered away at the 
nurses ceaselessly and hysterically, flying 
into alarms of shrieking terror each time 
he groaned or choked or slept or awoke. 
He had come to this country to be made 
well, and the doctors had taken out his 
larynx because he certainly would have 
died had they left it in. Now it was not so 
certain he would live. Christ, thought 
Yossarian, how can he stand it? 

Christ, thought Yossarian, how can 12 

Yossarian was symptomesuggestible 
and knew it. Within a day his voice 
turned husky. 

"What's the matter with you?" nurse 
Macintosh snapped with concern the 
next morning after she had reported for 
work, put on her makeup, straightened 
the seams of her scamless stockings and 
then come into the room looking her 
niftiest to make sure he was all right. 
“You don’t sound the same. Why aren't 
you eating?” 

“I know. I'm hoarse. I'm not hungry 
right now. I don't know why Im so 
hoarse.” 

He had по fever or physical discom- 
fort and there was no visible evidence of 
inflammation anywhere in his ears, nose 
or throat, the ear, nose and throat 
man who was summoned. 

‘The next day his throat was sore. He 
felt a lump there too and had difficulty 
swallowing his food, though there was 
still no sign of infection or obstruction, 
and he knew as surely as he knew any- 
thing else that he too would soon lose his 
larynx to a malignancy if he did not get 
the hell away from that hospital fast. 

Nurse Melissa Macintosh looked 
heartbroken. It was nothing personal, 
he assured her. He promised gallantly to 
take her out soon to dinner at a good 
restaurant, and to Paris and Florence, 
and Munich too, perhaps, and window- 
shop for lacy lingerie with her, if they 
found they hit it off. She said she would 
miss him. He replied with perfection 
that he would not give her the chance, 
wondering, even as he gazed sincerely 
into her earnest blue eyes and warmly 
pressed her hand goodbye, whether he 
would ever even remember to want to 
see her again. 


You Recede. 


BOSLEY MEDICAL PATIES AGE 37, IMMEDIATELY BEFORE HAIR TRANSPLANTATION 


Хе“ Кесеед" 


ВОЗЕ PATIENT N.I. AFTER PERMANENT HAIR TRANSPLANTS ARE FULLY GROWN 


With Advanced Bosley Techniques 
of Hair Transplantation. 


osley Medical Doctors take the excess If hair loss is eroding your confidence, 
living hair roots from the back of the do what men from all 50 states and 
head and “reseed” areas of thinning at more than 30 foreign countries have 
the front and on top of the head. done: “Reseed” with advanced hair 
And these hairs won't fall out like ће restoration techniques from the world- 
original ones because they're permanent; renowned Bosley Medical Institute. 
genetically programmed to last a Call 1-800-352-2244 
Best of all, there's no “dolls hair” (о request a Free Private Consultation 
look with the trademarked Bosley with a Bosley Medical Doctor, and/or 
MicrografiPand Varigraf™ techniques. our New Free 36-page Color Guide- 
Your new finished hairline can lookas hook and Free Video, or send coupon. 
soft and natural as your original one! i DON > 


1 Yes! O sena me Free copy ofyour New 
136 page Color Guidebook and New Videotape! 


Name 

Telephone (___). 
Address 
1 Gy 


© 1609 TI Bun ma eme 


MEDICAL 
INSTITUTE 


PROFESSIONAL SERVICES PROVIDED BY 
THE BOSLEY MEDICAL GROUP 
LLEF BOSLEY, ир. FOUNDER AND DIRECTOR 
Since 1974, The Art und Science 
of Hair Restoration™ 
Send Coupon lo The Bosley Medical Institue 
1 8497 Wilshire Bivi., Suite 400, Beverly Hills, CA 90211 


Бизи Ils « CHICAGO + ATLANTA = SEATTLE + SAN FRANCIS + DETROIT = SACRAMENTO = SANTA CLARS 
‘NERPORT BEACH + LA JOLLA • ASD IN CONSULTATION WIT TALL IN DALLAS AND HOLSTON 


Introd 


ucing 


PLAYBOY со Loja a Cards’ 


НЕ PROVOCATIVE STYLE AND SHEER GLAMOUR 

of the Playboy Centerfolds have been captured for your 
enjoyment in the Playboy Centerfold Collector Cards". They 
include captivating nude images, actual Playmate Centerfolds 
and unique covers from Playboy’s 40-year history. The com- 


plete February set is now available. There are three cards 
from each and every February issue of Playboy from 1954 
through 1993: a provocative Centerfold Card, a Playmate 
Pictorial Card and a Cover Card. Most images used on the 
cards are exact reproductions from the magazine. Limited 
quantities of the complete set are available. Sorry, individual 
packs are not ауа 


ble at this time. Start your collection 

today. Once an Edition is sold out, it’s gone for good. Take 
advantage of this exciting offer. It’ 
Playboy's most beautiful and memorable women. 


great way to enjoy 


por cal ее 


Cards shown at © 


The Complete February Set 


All 145 Cards 
‘Strictly Limited to 7500 Sets 


120 February Edition Cards 


6 gold foil Jenny McCarthy 
1994 Playmate of the Year Cards 
9 gold foil Celebrity Cards 
featuring Bo Derek, La Toya Jackson and Morganna 


3 Checklist cards, 6 March Preview cards 
* A gold foil February Authenticity Card 


ved binder and 
5 to keep your cards 


* Acustom hardcover, gold foil engi 
slipcase with clear protective shi 
in perfect collector condition 

XJ5102 $79.95 


Order Toll-Free 1-800-423-9494 


Charge to your VISA, MasterCard, Optima, American Express or Discover. 
Most orders shipped within 48 hours. (Source Code: 49574). 


Order By Mail 


Use your credit. card and be sure to include your account number and 
expiration date. Or enclose a check or money order payable to Playboy. 
Mail to Playboy. Р.О. Box 809. Dept. 49574, Itasca, Illinois 60143-0809. 


There is a $5.50 shipping and handling 
dents add 6.75% 
per card set. Sorry. no other foreign orders or currency accepted. e (vastes 


с per total order. Illinois resi 


ах. Canadian residents please add $3.00 additional 


ROCK 61115 continued from page 100) 


“Courtney and Kat worked as strippers. Both under- 
stand the dynamic with the horny guys in the audience.” 


queens: Some of their most rabid fans 
are men. And that’s what separates them 
from Joni Mitchell or Joan Armatrad 
ing. Joan Armatrading shows attract 
some beautiful women, but the few 
clever guys there are superfluous. Many 
women simply make out with each other. 
But, hey, when Babes in Toyland played 
Lollapalooza, there were provocatively 
pierced teenage love thangs aplenty, 
looking around for like-minded guys. 
And the most compelling figure was 
their idol, Kat Bjelland of Babes. (Babes 
as in "in the woods,” not as in “chicks,” as 
she loves to point out; get it wrong and 
she will call you a prick.) Garbed in an 
undersized kinderwhore dress—the de- 
mentcd-litte-girl look she and on-again- 
off-again friend Courtney Love each ac- 
сизе the other of stealing—guitarist and 
lead singer Kat introduced the band in a 
sweet voice and then ripped into a shriek 
to start Bruise Violet. Like a gorgeous 
cracked-out cheerleader, Kat played 
hard and hard to get. The sightly and 
sonic combination of the flashes of Kat's 


panties and Lori Barbero's tribal drum- 
ming inspired some macho moshing. As 
Butt-head said of the song's video, 
“Whoa! These chicks rock!” 

Courtney and Kat worked as strippers 
when they were younger, less famous 
and in need of cash. Whether or not they 
admit it, both women seem to under- 
stand the physical dynamic between a 
woman on a stage and the anonymous, 
horny guys in the audience. And they 
use itto their advantage, just as Liz Phair 
manipulates the contradictions between 
her collegiate look and candid lyrics. Or 
take the electric guitar, the traditional 
phallic prop of male rockers. In the 
hands of virtuoso Polly Jean Harvey, the 
guitar remains a symbol; as she warps, 
twists and wrings sound from her Strat, 
you can’t help but admire the strength 
and facility of her hands. It adds to her 
sex appeal, even when she’s singing 
about a dry vagina. 

The ironic love songs of today's super- 
charged chanteuses entice the male lis- 
tener. There's just the slightest hint of 


romance—it's like electric pillow talk or 
a lovers’ quarrel turned up to 11 on the 
volume knob. It starts cach guy in the 
crowd to thinking, Sure she's mad at 
men—but she aint pissed at me. It's 
those other bums who fucked her over. 
Even when Courtney Love—in all her 
low-rent, tousled beauty—complains of 
adolescent rejection in Teenage Whore, 
she arouses the pride and desire of each 
guy in the audience: ГЇЇ make her happy. 
I bet I can give her what she needs. Salt- 
N-Pepa seduce in a more overt way, by 
describing what they're capable of as 
lovers and what you're missing. When 
Salt brags, "You have no beef/Cause 
when the bugle is blown/lt's all tongue 
and no teeth,” she has every guy reach- 
ing for his instrument. The thing is, all 
she wants us to do is reach for our wal- 
lets and buy CDs. 


Its as if for years we've listened in 
mono and then, suddenly, a few women 
turned up the speakers on the left. Even 
at the local club level, female musicians 
are taking to the stage. Many of the new 
bands, such as New York favorites Bar- 
bie Complex and Die Monster Die, are 
sexually integrated—it's shrewd market- 
ing to enhance the gate. Those bands 
that make it big are equipped with 


Sensual 
Products 


How to order them 
without embarrassment. 


How to use them 
ithout disappointment. 


Т одау, people are interested in improv- 
пр the quality of their lives and 
exploring their own sensuality with 
options from the Xandria Collection 

‘Themost importantaspect of satisfactionis 
trust. Trustus.... houghtful considerationgoes 
into each product in the catalogue. Quality, 
value, and sensual appeal are all important 
elements, as are you, the customer. 


What is The Xandria Collection? 

It is a very special collection of sensual 
products. It includes the finest and most ef- 
fective products available from around the 
world. Products that can open new 
doorsto pleasure (perhaps many you 
never knew existed)! 

Our products range from the 
simple to the delightfully complex 
They are designed for both the timid 
and the bold. For anyone who has 
ever wished there could be some- 
thing more to their sensual pleasure 

The Xandria Collection has a 
unique three-way guarantee. We've 
had the same, no worry guarantee 
for the past 18 years (since 1974) 


First, we guarantee your pri 
хасу. Everything we ship is plainly 
packaged and securely wrapped, 
with no clue to its contents from the 
outside. All transactions are strictly 
confidential and we never sell, give 
or trade any customer's name. 


Second, we guarantee your satisfaction. 
Ка product seems unsatisfactory, simply return 
it within 60 days for a replacement or refund. 


Third, we guarantee the quality of our 
products for one year. If it malfunctions. 
simply return it to us for a replacement. 


The Xandria Gold Collection....a tribute 10 
doseness and communication. Celebrate the 
possibilities for pleasure we each have within 
us. If you're prepared to intensify 
pleasure, then send for the Xandria Gold Col- 
lection Edition catalogue. It is priced at just 
$4.00, applied in full to your first order. 


our own. 


Wiite today. You have absolutely nothing 
to lose, And an entirely new world of eni 
ment to pain. 


Te xandria Collection, Dept PB1194 
| Р.О. Box 31039, San Fran 


| 

| 

| 

| 

| н | 
LL 1 
1 

1 

| 


| tom en aun over zi years of age 


Xandria, 874 Dubuque Ave, South San Francisco, CA sio 


161 


IF YOU LIRE LIZ PHRIR à sr sr: ww 


ter Shana Du Baw worked [аа an intera 
Chicago office. It wasn't the first time he had toile 
of greatness. Turns out he used to date 


а our 
the presence 
iz Phair. When her first 


CD came out and we really listened to the words, the idea of a re- 


ети 


ot grrrls and all the power femi- 

nism. Behind the success of every 
tock babe there's a guy, and the guy 
behind Liz Phair was me. I was the 
one who loaned her the crucial— 
dare 1 say indispensable?—piece of 
stereo equipment she used to dub 
the demos she sent to the radio sta- 
tions that gave her the airplay that 
led to the record deal and the re- 
lease Of her debut album, Exile in 
Guyville, which then brought her а 
fuckload of cash—no, make that two 
fuckloads—and the praise of rock 
critics from New York to Seattle. 
Note, however, where it all started: 
my tape deck. 

My mother tells me there was a 
time when rock babes wrote love 
songs to their boyfriends ће Carly 
Simon-Joni Mitchell routine. You 
can even imagine those boyfriends 
bragging about it at the bar. Of 
course, if you've listened to Liz’ de 
but, you know this is no longer the 
case. Actually, you'd think she had 
never met anyone who's kind or sen- 
sitive or humble. Someone like me. 

Well, for the record, none of 
those unnamed Guyuille Romeos re- 
sembles yours truly. I am not the 
lame-o who fucked and ran in Fuck 
and Run, nor the Neanderthal who 
bullied the stereo in Help Me, Mary 
Fact is, I gave Liz my stereo. We 
Guyville guys just ain't that bad. 

I, for one, taught Ms. “T take full 
advantage of every guy I meet” such 
survival skills as how to play Let's 
Get Lost. We were in college. Pd 
pick her up. We'd drop the top, red- 

` line the tach and bomb through the 
night. The game was to ignore all 
signs, take turns choosing direc- 
tions, lose our minds and our way 
amid the Ohio farmland and then 
pull over. The way I remember it, 
everything was goofy and late- 
night. Liz never mentioned any- 
thing about being my—or anyone 
else's—"blow job queen," never re- 
ferred to my lips as "perfect suck- 
me size.” I only heard that stuff on 
the album. Just my luck—she saves 
the fun stuff for the paying public. 

All I know is that after graduation 


| t was my tape deck. Forget the ri- 


ЯЬ Mol e сие 


swered. So we tracked Du Bow down and 


ons than the songs 
‚ade him give us the scoop. 


an- 


we stayed in touch. She came to my 
mom's second wedding. She named 
her own folder on my hard drive. 
When an early Spin review called 
her a prodigy of privilege, she had 
me ghostwrite a saucy retort. And 
guess which dizzy music rag, after 
receiving said correspondence, 
named Exile its album of the year? 

Sure, Liz seems self-sufficient 
that’s the Nineties rock-babe shtick. 
But take her lyrics, best known per- 
haps for their profanity. Where the 
fuck do you think she got that fuck- 
ing stuff? Or take her second al- 
bum, Whip-Smart. The fifth song on 
it, | happened to notice last trip to 
the CD store, is called Shane, whi 
I happened to notice last 
signed something, is also my name. 
Now, everyone knows it's the title of 
the fifth song on the second album 
that makes or breaks a rock star's ca- 
reer. If Liz rode my coattails any 
harder, she'd be a water skier 

All this neediness, it gets to be a 
drag. This Shane song, it's about a 
night we spent together in Chicago. 
She was an unemployed slacker. I 
was a way-cool writer with an in- 
credibly important assignment to 
report on the club scene. Out of 
pity, I invited Liz to tag along. 
When I wrote “we watched," I was 
referring to Liz and me. I gave her 
that, the plural pronoun, her first 
fame. Now she's exploited it, that 
night, my name, to catapult herself. 
to the top of the rock heap. Ingrate. 

Sure, she leaves backstage passes 
for me. Sure, she asked me to help 
a spot on MTV. But did she in- 
уйе me to read my fiction as an en- 
core? Did she ever show her grati- 
tude through her wallet? 

Note to all men: If ever your girl- 
friend grabs a guitar and a four- 
track, copyright your name and lock 
up your diary. It's too late for me. 
That's why Гуе now retaliated and 
written my own little ditty, a glossy 
commercial kind of thing. Real 
catchy number called If You Like Liz 
Phair, You'll Just Love Shane Du Bow. 
Any day now I'm going to be huge. 


heavy-metal howls, salacious raps and 
enough feedback to power a small town 
They wear their parental advisory 
stickers with pride 

When Nirvana came to New York for 
the last time a few months before Kurt 
Cobair's suicide, Kim Deal's crackling 
and lighthearted band, the Breed 
opened for them. It symbolized, in re 
rospect, the passing of the ax from 
Cobain to the Deal sisters. Nirvana was 
on automatic: Tight and loud, it put out 
a trademark heavy sound with bron- 
tosaurus beats. Cobain seemed de- 
tached, unemotional and uninspired; he 
sat on a stool for much of the show, 
hunched over his mike with his hair ob- 
scuring his face. Fans moshed be 
they were supposed to. The gig lacked 
the joyful energy that had driven the 
Breeders an hour earlier. The closest to 
female angst singer Kim Deal got was on 
Divine Hammer—a quest for satisfaction 
that she describes as "just like a big 
fuck." When she finds that sacred tool 
(after all, her body is a temple), she's go- 
ing to bang it all day. 


Although Phair's band hits chest 
squeezing decibels only three or four 
times, the Phairophiles are psyched. It’s 
a glasses-friendly environment, there's 
no real mosh pit. In fact, if you tossed 
your specs 50 feet away, you could re- 
trieve them from the floor unbroken. It's 
а crowd of serious New York scenesters 
who have a few years on Phair. They're 
the kind of music nuts who used to hang 
out in Hoboken listening to unassuming 
minimalist stuff by such now-defunct 
bands as the Feelies or the dBs (who ac- 
tually reached back to the clangy garage 
sound of the early Rolling Stones and 
Velvet Underground). Phair is a part of 
this unassuming branch of side-street 
rock. Musically, she's derivative, but 
she's polished enough to refute last 
year's word-of-mouth rep for being stiff 
and dull in concert. It's her lyrics that 
count and the guys in the audience 
know them all. 

There's a yabbo up front who can't 
quite control himself, In between songs 
he’s whooping and wailing like Phair 
holds his heart in a box. Phair is not 
amused. In fact, she appears to be a bit 
repulsed by such slobbering adulation. 
In a pique of girlish disdain that con- 
trasts nicely with her milk-and-honey 
looks, she glares down and says, “I don't 
think you should be yelling like that!” 
‘Then she kicks into the next song—just 
her voice, her electric guitar and her 
drummer. The two other guys in the 
band flank ће: the shadows, rattling 
tambourines. It’s a q 
for the Nineties: Female rockers have 
taken center маре. 


ONCE YOU'VE GOT A 
PAIR OF OUR SPEAKERS, 
THIS WILL BE THE ONLY 
TIME YOU'LL HAVE A BAD 
LISTENING EXPERIENCE 
IN YOUR CAR. 


= 


©1004 Pronaor Electronica (USA) Ine, Long Beach, CA 


When you pull up to a fast food drive-thru, the s; outside your car shouldn't remind you of the ones in it. But if it 


5 time you retrofit your ride with some Pioneers. Our speakers are crafted from a unique blend of materials 


And plenty of pavement ing bass. So give us a call at 1-800 Pioneer, 


e you lower distortion. Hig 


sure you never have to listen to bad sound in your car again. Except, perhaps, when you'n 


Q PIONEER’ 


The Art of Entertainment 


PLAYBOY 


The Fitness Machine 


AN OVERALL BODY WORKOUT SYSTEM 
Strengthen and Build Chest, Back, Ams and Legs 
‘Tighten Abcominals > Trim Love Handes 


Achieve Complete Definition! 
One Day 
Delivery 
Available 


This is the most advanced exercise system avail 
able: A safe and effective muscular workout that 
guarantees results. See immediate improvement 
as thousands have worldwide. Your new fitness 
machine includes the folowing: 
* Knowledgeable customer service 
+2 year absolule warranty 
+ Comprehensive instruction marual 
+ A/C adaptor and battery capability 
+ 30 day та period 
Executive Briefcase Model 3435 


Deluxe Fitness Model 3485 
For crodit caré orders and information 
Call in U.S. and Canada 24 hrs 


1-800-228-8663 
or send check or money order to: 
Executive Fitness Products 
2221 Peachtree St., Suite 176 
Atlanta, GA 30309 
Worldwide FAX 1-404-250-1251 


57 COLOR 
„196 CALENDAR 14 


, 

а 
Visa/ NC Order Toll-Free 24 Hrs 
1-800-274-0333 


Discover what 
you're missing! 


Whether your game is 
pool or darts, don't 
miss our FREE bigger- 
lhanever Mueller 
Sporting Goods 
catalog, In it you'll 
find one of the 
largest and finest 
selections of billiard and dart supplies. gifts. 
and cases...all al low wholesale 
prices. You can shop and save пу 
‚Comfort of your own heme. 24 hi 
Send for, or cal 


1-800-627-8888 


Mueller Sporting Goods 
Department 7 
3825 South 16th 
lincoln, НЕ 68512 


WILD IN THE STREETS 
(continued from page 136) 


to boost falling sales 

Subaru has restyled and enlarged its 
popular Legacy sedans and wagons. 
Choose front-wheel drive (and an op- 
tional traction-control system) or full- 
time all-wheel drive. Its slick-handling 
SVX sports coupe in a new front-wheel 
drive version is offered for 1995 for less 
than $24,000 


FUN IN THE SUN 


convertibles are back in a big way 
Joining Chevy's 228 Camaro (PLAYBOY'S 
1994 Car of the Year), Ford’s Mustang 
and Pontiac's Firebird Formula is Saab's 
totally redesigned 900 and Audi's new 
100 Cabriolet. What's more, BMW offers 
a four-cylinder S-scries ragtop priced 
under $30,000 and a six-cylinder model 
for $38,800. A convertible version of the 
M3, currently on sale in Europe, is ru- 
mored to be headed to the States. 

At $19,975, Volkswagen's smartly re- 
styled Golf Cabriolet is the best drop-top 
yet in its long series of affordable open- 
air 2+2's. Mitsubishi's 3000 GT features 
a limited-production folding hardtop, 
and a convertible Eclipse is on the draw- 
ing board. Also, there's a roadster revival 
coming from Germany. Mercedes-Benz 
has displayed its sleek SLK, a C-class- 
based two-seater that will debut in 1996. 
Porsche plans to introduce its Boxster 
sports roadster at the same time. The 
price: less than $40,000. Not to be out- 
done, BMW will build a roadster in 
South Carolina in mid-1996. 

To celebrate the fifth anniversary of 
the MX-5 Miata, Mazda has introduced 
an M edition priced at $21,250 that is 
available only in Montego Blue with a 
tan vinyl top and a tan leather interi- 
or. But our preference is for the equal- 
ly new R Package model that comes 
equipped with sport suspension, front 
and rear spoilers and a rear skirt. Under 
the hood of both the M and the R mod- 
els is a new 128-hp, L8 liter dual-over- 
head-cam engine that gives the car по 
power, especially in passing situations. 
The R Package model is $1500 more 
than the Miata's base price of $16,650. 


CIVILIZED OFF-ROADERS 


Sports utility vehicles are hotter than 
ever, with sales of more than 1.3 million 
predicted in 1994. Chevy's new 510 
Blazcr and GMC's new Jimmy have just 
been launched; new and bigger Tahoe 
and Yukon SUVs from the same manu- 
facturers will follow next spring. 

Ford is building special editions to 
widen the Explorer's already broad ap- 
peal. Unfortunately, a V8 version is still 
years away. The Jecp Cherokce and 

nd Cherokee continue to set sales 
records. West Coasters will see the Kore- 
an-built Kia Sportage—another clever- 
ly packaged, well-equipped, small-size 


SUV—late this year 

uxury-car makers are betting on up- 
ale SUVs, too. BMW has acquired 
Britain's Rover, setting itself up for the 
possibility of a sports utility with a BMW 
badge. Land Rover North America tri 
pled its sales after introducing the Dis- 
covery, a $99,000 SUV targeted at 
young, active families and at singles who 
want to traverse the urban jungle in 
style. Also, a new Range Rover will bow 
this fall. Even Lexus is considering a 
sports utility. Recently seen at European 
auto shows, Toyota's compact RAV4 
i sports utility could challenge Suzu- 
ki's Samurai in the $12,000 to $14,000 
range, opening a whole new market for 
Generation Xers; as yet, there has been 
no decision on whether it will be market- 
ed here. And by 1997, Mercedes-Benz 
will offer a circa-$35,000 SUV to be built 
ata new plantin Alabama. 


WAR OF THE MINIVANS 


It's been ten years since Chrysler in- 
troduced the minivan. Today, it’s the 
company's principal source of income— 
generating an average of $6100 profit 
per vehicle on sales of about 570.000 last 
year. So far, Japan's efforts to unseat 
Chrysler have failed. The jointly devel- 
oped Nissan Quest and Mercury Vil- 
lager are hits, though volume is limited 
by plant capacity. Honda plans to intro- 
duce a minivan next January, but it will 
be built in Japan, where assembly line 
width limitations may curtail its popular- 
ity here. GM's doorstop-shaped mini- 
vans flopped. A recent face-lift hasn't 
helped much. 

Ford's long-wheelbased, front-wheel- 
drive 1995 Windstar is the first minivan 
to contest Chrysler's hammerlock on the 
category. Chrysler's 1996 minivan will be 
launched in January 1995 at the Detroit 
Auto Show. We've learned that it has 
sliding doors on both sides and that Ford 
was too far along in production to match 
this feature. The Windstar will give 
Chrysler's minivans a battle, but we pr 
dict Lee lacocca's best legacy will reta 
its leadership role 


WHEN COST IS NO OBJECT 

Makers of exotic cars have been busy. 
Ferrari launched its $225,000-plus, 187 
mph 456 GT 2+2, and the 380-hp, 40- 
valve F 355 GT earlier this fall. Italian 
carmaker Bugatti (a revival of the his 
toric name) will soon launch i 
two-seater. Its price: $335,000 ( 
of taxes), which buys you a six-speed su- 
percar that will hit 60 mph in 3.4 scc- 
onds and top out at more than 200 mph. 
All that power comes from a 12-cylinder, 
60-valve, quad-turbo engine nestled into 
the midsection of a carbon-fiber compos- 
ite chassis. The interior is just as exotic, 
with handcrafted leather seats and doors 
that open vertically. Bugatti also pur- 
chased Britain's Lotus from General 


| Sex Education For Me? 


| Know-how is still the best aphrodisiac. ^ There's No Such Thing As A “Born Lover”! 
Sexual techniques must be learned. Even if you 
are a good lover, you can benefit from The Better 
Sex Video Series. It is for normal 
adults who want to enhance their 
sexual pleasure. Watch it with 
someone you love. 


America’s Best-Selling 
Sex-Ed Video 


The Better Sex Video Series 
visually demonstrates and explains 
how everybody can enjoy better sex. 
Dr. Judy Seifer, one of the country’s 
most respected experts on sexuality, guides 
youthrough erotic scenes of explicit sexual 
practices including techniques for 
most enjoyable foreplay and 
intercourse. Order the Better Sex 
Video today and take the first step 
to more enjoyment! 
Shipped Unmarked For Your 
Privacy. All of our videos are 
shipped in plain packaging to 
‘assure your privacy. Each video 
is approximately 90 minutes. 


THE 


tter 
ех 


ideo 
SERIES® 
Sex. The More You Know About It, 
The Better It Gets. 


For Fastest Service With Credit Card Orders, 


Call Toll-Free (800) 888-1900 
(24 hours/7 days a week) 


MasterCard 
Wake checks payable ko The Townsend st. Sony, Ne cash or COD 


ат ТАМ AT EASI IB YEARS OF AGE 
ч nn. + 


| 
| 

| 
EI 
ter | 
| 

| 

| 


PLAYBOY 


Motors late last year. The 1997 model 
Lotus Esprit 2+2 will be УВ powered 
There are no plans to revive the short- 
lived Elan roadster, but Lotus is report- 
edly developing a lightweight two-seater 
to compete with upcoming cars from 
Porsche, Mercedes-Benz and BMW. 

Lamborghini celebrated its 30th an- 
niversary just as Chrysler sold its stake in 
the company to Megatech, an Indone- 
sian consortium. It's the same group that 
bought another exotic-car manufactur- 
ing company, Vector, in 1993. The 
$198,000 1995 Vector Avtech SC may 
have a Lamborghini V12 engine. Bol- 
stered with new financing, Lamborghini 
USA is adding dealers and planning an 
ambitious new product program that 
will include the world's fastest off-road 
vehicle. The company will also supple- 
ment its $239,000 all-wheel-drive Diablo 
VT with a limited-edition (25) 492-hp 
Diablo SE. If you have to ask the price, 
you can't afford it. So, we'll tell you: It's 
$255,000. 


JUST DOWN THE ROAD 


The advent of sophisticated comput- 
ers has opened up a wealth of technolo- 
gy designed to increase driving pleasure, 
safety and longevity. Antilock brakes are 
almost universally available now. Elec- 
tronic traction control systems enable 


rear- and front-wheel-drive cars to 
match the performance of four-wheel- 
drive models on wet or snowy roads 

Robert Bosch has announced an intu- 
itive steering system that will appear on 
top-line German makes. Using steering 
and wheel sensors, the system senses 
where the driver wants to go 
gressively applies brakes in indi 
wheels to ensure that the correct direc- 
tion is maintained. Look for it by 1996. 

On-board navigation systems are al- 
ready being used in Germany. Oldsmo- 
bile is testing a system here that could be 
an option in 1995. Today's best and most 
sophisticated sound installations are de- 
signed by the leading audio companies 
in conjunction with car manufacturers. 
This way, the audio systems are designed 
from the vehicle's inception—something 
even the best car-stereo installers can't 
match. And chlorofluorocarbon-free, 
environmentally safe air-conditioning 
systems, water-based paint processes 
and recyclability of most parts prove that 
the auto industry is taking its environ- 
mental responsibility seriously. 

As 1995 and even a few 1996 models 
appear in showrooms, one thing is cer- 
tain: These cars are better built, more re- 
liable and more fun to drive than ever 

fore. 


QUENTIN TARANTINO 
(continued from page 133) 


just а cool special effect or for how it 
works in the piece. What affects me are 
real-life human things. If somcone gets 
a paper cut on а movie set, I'm like 
[shivers], because 1 can relate to that. Be- 
ing shot with an Uzi—that's harder to 
relate to. 


T. 


PLAYBOY: You once appeared as an Elvis 
impersonator on The Golden Girls. Do 
you consider that a high point or the 
nadir of your acting career? 

TARANTINO: Well, it was kind of a high 
point because it was one of the few times 
that I actually got hired for a job. I was 
one of 12 Elvis impersonators, really just 
a glorified extra. For some reason they 
had us sing Don Ho's Hawaiian Love 
Chant. All the other Elvis impersonators 
wore Vegas-style jumpsuits. But I wore 
my own clothes, because I was, like, the 
Sun Records Elvis. I was the hillbilly cat 
Elvis, I was the real Elvis: everyone else 
was Elvis after he sold out 


8. 


PLAYBOY: Describe the dramatic richness 
of the Mexican standoff. 

TARANTINO: In movies, Г never saw the 
Mexican standoff taken to what I consid- 
er to be the logical conclusion, which is 
when everyone fucking shoots сусгу- 
body else because there is nowhere else 
to go. In most movies, they always have 
their guns on everybody and they go, 
“The cops are outside,” and then it's de- 
fused in some way. Or somebody drops 
their gun or whatever. This doesn’t seem 
to be the case in real life. What's cool 
about the Mexican standoff is that it's the 
end of the line. And what's really excit- 
ing to me, for the kind of crime story I 
like to do, is using that one second be- 
fore the explosion as the point where 
there’s a little bit of discussion. It has a 
reality to it. It takes the rubber band and 
stretches it as far as it can go. 


9. 


PLavnoy: Describe, if you can, the purest 
example of the tension between men 
and women. 

TARANTINO: Walking down the street, 
women experience tension all the time. 
They're walking down the street and 
some guy is walking behind them and all 
of 4 sudden there's this tens Is this 
guy going to do something? Whats go- 
ing on here? They re feeling it. And guys 
feel it too. 1 feel it. And Го like, Hey, m 
just walking down the street. I just hap- 
pen to be going the same way. I'm walk- 
ing behind this woman, and she's think- 
ing I'm a rapist. And now I'm feeling 
guilty for being a rapist when I haven't 
fucking donc anything. So now I'm feel 
ing guilty and fecling a litle angry 


24 hours a day! 
7 days a weckt 


415-896-0933 


\ 


E 


Токо RESOURCES 
200 videos! Men's mag, stars & Ist tine 


Ed bodies, 
videos, de more! Catalog 


(169) $3.00 
New Revised? Hour Preview Samper 
(170) $2498 


THE BLACK MYSTIQUE 
World's: selection of Black video 
erica. Single gid haf hour 
videos in sizzling acton. Each VHS 
cassette takes you ona journey into 
Se eas withthe most 
beautiful black video stars and models 
ax they tese and please. 


CA 
Back ie Sarge Kaa 
EN 


St cet ЫТ Da 
о! lity jazz, rock, blues 

деи Tipton ies Н 
(aressfor you in this Andrew Blake video. 
Indulge inthe visual richness of their ipe 
"die the passion of their beautiful faces. 
Кода Н усов est toa nay 
war s, по fantasy Б! оге 

ile Ком 


Shot on film. A 524: retail value Now 


(14961095. 


WHERE ME GIRLS ARE 


CCI'S BOOK or LINGERIE AND 


Srt Tes WEST – 


“The musttave guide ofaddressesand NUDE } Pret but amateur models in panties, 
tear Sls Ro LES dL pantyhose, stockings, slips, girdles, corsets, 
nude gealemen'sclubs across the US ard of nude lege powes Purchase || ЗРидесвойвакатд mere. 
Canada City-by cy stings et you pik y amateur videos & photo- Brochures 
ЕЈ eso p contine Sd pgs anzu 
E lirectory wi tos. Only review Vi 
y insta ТАЕ (5950055 
21940. 2H, Video Sc ann) 
(395185 


XANDRIA 
COLLECTION 


fa Scania Сею і * FE Fresi 
julge» with ourenclusive Perfect 10 gals are gorgeousdrhot.Getine Tre'SiBodywonr, provocative 
сащ ocre sud sete ada best tole, nude Bcn Se дану afable ris If het 
Е s, books, videos & much more! gals trom some of Americas hottest 
rience the ference in mail-order. il centerfold publicatons, Save big S65, 
end wilh you in mind-10(% подев Select sides, photos videos & buy direct rom producer. 
SATSFALTION, Mustbe ZI yrs more, Reasonable prices & fastservice are Qs 
SH redeemable withorder. number one with us. Catalog, VHS Preview Video & Catalog, 
ва sey корав cc 
CAELI (1173) 51955 pele 
Romantic LINGERIE # SENSUAL STRIPTEASE, Pune Panties 
World's hottest full color ive mode. Thourof our most tantalizing pekabo Penis, pantiesand nothing but panties. 
catalog! heavy glossy (510) pages! videos ever produced. An abundance of ЧШ gels who love b tese, wear 
(кан uy qr ber beautiful and sersuous sin their prety pantes. The best in TEASE VI 
ies sy cient пре. met ovate ei pss Along wih Ca шек. 
ја i ‘our. lexi 16) 
(ig) stead ee a 
ША 


Sizzling Video: Gorgeous models tease, 
‘torment edu VAS 
(165) $2385 


169 $ 3.00 185 $29.95 399 $ 200 454 $ 300 
1 170 $2495 336 $ 200 438 $1000 516 $ 300 
1 


1 PRINT CLEARLY • MUST BE 21 YEARS OLD TO ORDER. Total cost of items ordered $ 


[Cirle calogseprdu desired. Include бей, money order, cash or cred cad # far lobi 8/0 processing digg. 
1 156 $ 400 183 $10.00 337 $ 995 439 $1995 784 $ 350 930 $1995 114951495 1 


785 $3995 1004$ 500 1173$19.95 
913 $ 300 1114$19.95 1357$ 5.00 
914 $3995 1143$ 4.00 1358 $39.95 


Processing Charge + $ 


lane 
= = 
1 TOTAL ENCLOSED 5 
p Жа с О меко О 
m Minwest GIRLS jue ———————————— — Male coreg ai polen 
ver 40 gorgeous amateur modes perform rae, 
soya ie inlet Irge ep 1% - Ee er Eu 
7 ойе тоСО! 
the: DRE род ^^ Zp Cok los wets dem. Е 
(DET Por NN" 1 А 
Э modelsstripand pose forthe frst me. q Viel] Маа) Ер и, Iv. Айфон] Signature | am over 21 years old. 
] 
(G4) $95 Пы | | | | | 


PLAYBOY 


168 


because I'm minding my own business. 
Like, I'm sorry I'm walking behind you. 
And she's thinking, Why the fuck can't I 
just walk down the street? All of a sud- 
den there's this tension and anger about 
nothing. 


10. 


pLavnow: If the offices of Hollywood are 
filled with yuppie wusses, does having 
the reputation of a tough guy give you 
an edge? 

TARANTINO: From time to time people as- 
sume that I'm this hard-core New York 
case, which I'm not. I will say that 1 
probably have different rules about life. 
I'll be hanging around executives, film- 
makers, agents, whatever. They'll start 
talking really catuly about other artists, 
and they'll do it in front of me. And I al- 
ways think, Do they think I'm fucking 
stupid? In other words, they might not 
talk about me that way at that moment— 
but tomorrow is another day. They'll just 
as easily rip on me as somebody else. 
"That horrible attitude is the single worst 


thing about this business. People are 
so negative about everything. They're 
lucky to be in this business, which is 
one of the greatest. Especially because 
they're really not contributing anything. 
Enough good movies come out by the 
end of the year to justify their jobs. I 
mean, if at the end of the year you can 
say that you saw ten perfectly no-excuses 
good movies, well, thats a pretty god- 
damn good percentage. 


п. 


PLAYBOY: The women who are cool in 
your films like hamburgers, Sonny Chi- 
ba movies, Elvis Presley and Janis Jop- 
lin. What other things do cool women 
appreciate? 

TARANTINO: If a girl likes to sit in the 
third row at the movies, that's great. I 
could be serious about that girl; it could 
be something that could last for a long 
time. Also, she shouldn't be a stickler 
when it comes to my personal hygiene. 
She has to cut me a little bit of slack. I'm 
not speaking about B.O. But people 


“I want it to say, Tm unattached and not easily impressed, 
but worth the effort.” 


have a natural smell, and she has to like 
my smell. If she has a big problem with 
it, that's sort of the beginning of the end 
A girlfriend, the one who was the love of 
my life, once told me, “I like your smell." 
To me, that was the most romantic thing. 


12. 


PLAYBOY: What do men learn about 
women from listening to girl groups? 
TARANTINO: I love girl groups. [Laughs] 
But in the Sixties, pretty much all they 
ever sang about was their boyfriends: 
"He's so cool/he's so tough/I’m not too 
young to get married." The Go-Go's 
were terrific, and their songs seemed 
poignant and real. But even they were 
basically singing about their boyfriends, 
too. So I don't know if you actually get 
insight from girl groups. If you want to 
learn about how a woman feels, you 
might want to listen to someone like 
Suzanne Vega. 


13. 


PLAYBOY: Movies have the potential to in- 
struct. Do you recoil from that opportu- 
nity or embrace it? 

TARANTINO: Any time you try to get 
across a big idea, you're shooting your- 
self in the foot. First, you need to make 
a good movie. And in the process, if 
there's something in it that comes across, 
that’s great. And it shouldn't be this big 
idea. It should be a small idea, from 
which everyone can get something dif- 
ferent. | mean, if you're making a movie 
and your big idea is that war is bad, why 
do you even need to make a movie? If 
that's all you're trying to say, just say it. 
It's only two words: war 15 BAD. Wait, 
wait. That's three words. Two words 
would be even better: war BAD. In some 
ways, that has even more power. 


14. 


PLAYBOY: Does Ше government have the 
right to tell citizens whether they can 
own guns? 

TARANTINO: I don't own a gun. But if gun 
control were to happen in America, 1 
would have no problem with it whatso- 
ever. Gun control would probably do 
wonders here. The street violence in 
America is horrific. When you go to Eu- 
rope, you actually feel like you take а va- 
cation from the threat of violence. Not 
that people don't get killed and raped in 
Europe. But it seems like they don't in 
comparison with here. But I also feel 
there's a slight hypocrisy about gun con- 
trol, America was founded on people 
grabbing guns and just taking it. We are 
basically a nation of warriors. We're very 
easily pumped up. For good reasons, 
sometimes. 


15. 


PLAYBOY: Whats the best thing about 
breakfast cereal? 


Put The Sizzle 
Back In Your Sex Life. 


Reignite the Passions 

There's nothing, more thrilling than passionate 
Jove-making! Unfortunately, many of us lose the 
passion from our relationships and accept its 
demise as “natural.” Don't you accept that! Now 
you can rejuvenate your love life and reach new 
heights of sexual pleasure with the new “Loving, 
“а three-volume video series for adults only 


Explicit Lovemaking 

“Loving Better” — featured on CES This Morning — 
was created by Dr. Shelly Kule, a psychiatrist. 
author, and sex therapist. Dr. Kule guides you 
throughout the series, explaining the sexu 
explicit lovemaking techniques demonstrated for 
you by a variety of couples. The three full-length 
videos provide you with proven methods — gleaned 
from Dr. Kule's thisty year’s of research in human 
— for “Loving Better.” 

‘The “Loving Better” video series has been 
available in thirty-four countries in fourteen tan- 
guages, helping lovers of every age and level of 
sophistication. Its easy-to-use techniques can revi- 
talize your lovemaking, too. 

YOUR SATISFACTION IS GUARANTEED. 
“Loving Better” will absolutely help you — and your 
partner — to become better and more exciting 
lovers. If not, simply return your videos for a refund. 
You risk nothing by ordering now. And you have so 
much to gain: a new and passionate love life! 


The 


Loving Better Sex Videos 


SL, PO. Box 525, Bethel, CT 06801-0525 


9 


Brandon Research, 32 Henry 


¡ole 1 800-438-8 


EXPRESS DELIVERY NOW AV ANABLE 
| ла сурово 
1 Brandon Research, Dept. PB41002 
1 32 Henry Street, P.O. Вох 525, Bethel, CT 06801-0525 
1 Please send me the full-length VHS videos indicated below: 
1 ипо qn. man. Tom 
4 Vol. 1: “Must-Know” Sexual Basics. ин $19.95 
4 Vol 2: Discovery and Erotic Fantasy ме 31995 
Î Yol 3: Advanced Master Technique. тз $1995 
Originally $39.95 each $192 | T= Swe $10.00" ım] [5.85 
now only А 1 Shipping & Wanting | $400 
very add only $350: | 
demonstrated. I) — 
‘amtasy and erotic Charge my (МУ C MasterCard 
ques with four couples. ars C DATE 
. Loving and caring, 
self loving, loving better and se: CARDMEMDER SIGNATURE 
vo. 
Abs = 


an ям ae 

E пепо order enclosed, payable to: Brandon Research 

All videos are shipped to you in a discreet, confidential package. 
Ofer oot aid where prof. 


PLAYBOY 


170 


Enrell for 3, 6 or 12 
months and she will receive 
спе designer panty each 
month on her doorstep 


perfumed, gift-wrapped, and 
enclosed with a persona! note. 
Our Helloween Edition arrives 
with a black mask, a small vial 
of perfume and o foil stamped 
giftcard reading. 

Don't walk under any ladders, 
ross the path of any black 
cats, or ахат this otsid 
without something 

This delightful gift of romance has 

been proliled by CNN. MTV. USA 

Today and the Wall Street Journal 
ври information bortine 


1515-469-6800 


Because lingerie is the gift 
that touches ber when you сан те 


TWO CELLULAR PHONES 
WITH THE SAME NUMBER 


Order this Motorola Flip f 
Iphone & we will program it with ү“ 
|the same number as your existing = 
cell phone. No second monthly Й 
bill! No second number to а 
remember! Your Extension phone 
works everywhere, 
ONLY $495 
Other programming from $200 


1-800-819-9979 Ext #1 
JEM MARKETING, LLC 


100 Springdale RoadSte. 05-119 
EIT 


Your Number One Source of. 


act Lenses for Less! 


Up to 70% Savings and 
MORE on all Name Brand 
Contact Lenses. 


For more information and orders, 
please call TOLL FREE. 


1/800-2 VISION 
(1/800-284-7466) 
LII mm ED 


C 


Austin, Texas 78751 


TARANTINO: Breakfast cereal is one of my 
favorite foods because it’s so easy to fix 
and it tastes so incredibly great. Cap'n 
Crunch is, of course, the créme de la 
créme. Most cereals, unfortunately, do 
not have a long life; they're around for 
about a year and then they go. But the 
best of the newfangled cereals, far and 
away, was Bill and Ted's Excellent Cere- 
al. It was fantastic. It was like a particu- 
larly terrific Lucky Charms. 


16. 


PLAYBOY: Skinny ties, white shirts, black 
suits and sunglasses. How do you feel 
about the appropriation of the Reservoir 
Dogs look? 

TARANTINO: I think it's great. If an action 
movie is doing its job, you should want 
to dress like the hero. After I saw Chow 
Yun-Fat in John Woo's A Better Tomorrow, 
Part Il, 1 immediately bought a long coat 
and glasses and walked around with a 
toothpick in my mouth. Any time а char- 
acter is really cool in a movie, you should 
want to dress like him or drink the beer 
he drinks. I thought Kevin Costner was 
so fucking cool in Bull Durham that I 
drank Miller High Life for a while. 


17. 


PLAYBOY: Where does real-life violence 
come from? 
TARANTINO: It comes out of nowhere. You 
can be sitting there laughing, and all of a 
sudden you're in reverse. A girl takes off 
her high heel, docks а guy vu the head 
and splits his skull open 

Once, I was waiting for a bus at mid- 
night on Western and Santa Monica, 
where a lot of hookers hang out. So 
a black transvestite hooker is standing 
next to me and suddenly this van pulls 
up and a Mexican kid jumps out with a 
baseball bat and comes up behind her. It 
was surreal. I couldn't even say any- 
thing. So the transvestite senscd somc- 
thing, turned around and saw that the 
kid was ready to hit her. She said [menac- 
ingly], "Don't do it, I'm vice,” which was 
a terrific response. 1 was awed by that re- 
sponse. Meanwhile, the Mexican kid has 
the bat over his head and he's thinking 
about it. And she's saying, “Don't fuck- 
ing do it" And then—boom- he hits 
her anyway. The hooker starts fighting 
back a little, and all of a sudden six other 
guys come out of the van. At that. point 
I took off and she took off. Now that's 
real-life violence. 


18. 


PLAYBOY: After Reservoir Dogs failed to win 
anything at the 1992 Sundance Film Fes- 
tival, you swore you would never again 
attend an awards ceremony unless you 
knew you would win. Was it not winning, 
or what it felt like to lose in public, that 
prompted ı юм? 

TARANTINO: Ultimately, Г don't care. I 
mean, if 1 read it in the newspaper and 
I don't see my name, my response is, 


“Damn.” But when you put on a tuxedo 
and endure the evening and you don't 
get called, it hurts your feelings. By 
showing up with that tuxedo on, Im say- 
ing, “Your decision means something to 
me,” when it really doesn't. When I went 
to the Sundance ceremony and didnt 
win anything for a movie I was really 
happy with, it made me feel bad. At that 
point, I decided that I was never going 
to give anybody permission to hurt my 
feelings that way again. 


19. 


PLAYBOY: You were hired to do a rewrite 
of Пу Pat. As one now familiar with 
the perspiring androgyne from Saturday 
Night Live, is Pat a he or a she? 
TARANTINO: The androgyny aspect is on- 
ly a part of Pat's appeal. What I love 
about the character is that Pat is so fuck- 
ing obnoxious. То tell the truth, I don't 
know what Pat is. But I know what I 
want Pat to be: I want Pat to be a girl. 
There was only one sketch that Julia 
[Sweeney, the actress who plays Pat] did 
on Saturday Night Live that gave a due to 
what Pat is. It was the sketch that Pat did 
with Harvey Keitel. They're stranded on 
a deserted island and they have sex— 
and Harvey still doesn't know what Pat 
is. And the thing is, they kissed in it. At 
one point they were thinking of taking 
the kiss out of the sketch. But Harvey, 
being Harvey, demanded they keep it in, 
that there'd be no integrity without the 
kiss. So that was the first time we'd seen 
Pat in an intimate situation—a smooch. 
There is a certain way that you hold your 
head, the way you come in for a kiss. 
And sitting there, watching it, I thought 
that Pat didn't kiss like a guy. Pat kissed 
like a girl. 


20. 


PLAYBOY: Give us an example of when 
self-confidence has served you better 
than modesty would have. 

TARANTINO: I was a film geek. Film geeks 
don't have a whole lot of tangible things 
to show for their passion and commit- 
ment to film. They just watch movies all 
the time. What they do have to show is 
a high regard for their own opinion 
They've learned to break down a movie. 
They understand what they like and 
don't like about a film. And they feel thal 
they're right. It’s not open to discussion 
When I got involved in the movie indus. 
try I was shocked at how little faith or 
trust people have in their own opinions 
They read a script and they like it—then 
they hand it to three of their friends to 
sec what they think about it. I couldn't 
believe it. There's an old expression that 
goes something like, He with the most 
point of view wins. [Laughs] When I walk 
into a room, I always have the most 


point of view. 


somu | (ЕР (88 


| | victors 


CRIMSON ТШЕ 


A 


ALABAMA 


THE г. 


resenting the Campus Collection of Wilshire 
Fragrances. Unique long-lasting, masculine scents 
which represent the traditions, rivalries and spirit 


Campus Collection Men's Colognes 
Order your official Campus Collection Mens 
2 ounce Cologne Spray for your favorite schools NOW! 


CALL 1-800-213-8989 ext. 20 


You will be billed $24.00 plus $3.95 shipping and handling оп vour Visa or Mastercard 
(for each additional cologne ordered add $1.00 for shipping and 
mail, pay by credit card or enclose а check or money order for $24.00 * for each 2 
ounce cologne spray plus $3.95 shipping and handling (for cach additional cologne 
ordered add $1.00 for shipping and handling) and send to: 


of America’s finest colleges and universities. 

Each cologne captures the image and character 
of the school it honors, from the warm traditional 
scent of the University of Michigan to the cool 
citrus fragrance of the University of Miami 


s um A Campus Collection Men's Colognes 

Show your school spirit by ordering PO. Box 14851 Dept. 20 

one of these original fragrances Ship to: с ‚60614 

with your official school team aa 

name and logo. Ideal for Name 

students, graduates, Е [m 

alumni and sports fans. “Em = 

1. Boston College = 

2. Connecticut 26. Illinois 39. Florida ASM has њем 

3. Synicuse 15. Auburn 27. Northwestern 40. Miami Please list Campus Collection Colognes by number, school name and quantity 

í. town 16. ESL 29. Minnesota shington No. School Qi Toral $ 

5 а 17. Tennessee 50, lowa State Хо. School. QN Total s 

6. Penn Sue 18. Kentucky з. Ohio State 43. Oregon Viol 2 

7. Wake Forest 19. Arkansas 32 Kansas 44. Arizona No. — School Qu Total 

B. North Carolina — 20. Texas 33. Colorado. 45. UNIV Subtotal $ 

Мше 21. Texas ARM 34. Nebraska 46, Indiana ik Handing 

9. Clemson 22 Oklahoma 35. Hori 17. North Carolina. bo ds) 

10. South Carolina 23. Michigan 36. Florida State AB. UCLA Illinois residents please add Sales tax (И. residents only) $ 

11. Georgia 24. Michigan State 37 Grambling sales tax of $2.04 per cologne TOTAL 
Method of payment: (please do not send cash): => 


VISA 


е со check svaiabiliy Y Check?MonevOrder Via Mastercard ` | 


M your school is not listed, plea 


Satisfaction "yeu wish to return any Campus Collection purchase, 


uaranteed 2" do within 30 das of you receipt ofthat 
Guaranteed purchase for replacement, credit or refund. 
1994 Vie Fragrance, nc Ann Astor, Mi 48105 


Grd Number 


1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
25. Wisconsin — 38. Howard i 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
1 
Н 
1 WE20 
J 
] 
1 


PLAYBOY 


172 


Pau 1 Po €LSÉT (continua from page 98) 


“In this business, you get used to a level of rejection 
that to somebody outside would be staggering.” 


urging, Carlin stuck around and they 
fed him lox and whitefish. 

“I gotta get going," Carlin said after 
eating. "I gotta go uptown." 

“Where ya going?” said Sam. 

“Well,” stammered Carlin, “I gotta go 
uptown. To buy a camera.” 

This was all the opening Sam needed. 
“Don't go uptown,” he insisted. “I'll take 
you downtown to my guy.” They piled 
into the car and drove downtown, where 
Sam marched into a camera shop and 
announced, “Take care of this guy. He’s 
abig star.” 


im there buying cameras,” 
months later, my sister 


you remember, but we did an interview 


again and said, 1 don't know if 


and then you went downtown’ 

"And he goes, "Yeah, man, that was the 
weirdest interview. All 1 remember is 
that I was on my way uptown to score 
some coke, and the next thing I know 1 
get lassoed into buying a camera.” 

When Paul tells this story, it sounds as 
if he's still in awe of his dad's salesman- 
ship. “My father,” he says, "made George 
Carlin buy a camera.” 


Reiser’s movie career may have been 
almost accidental, but the films kept 
coming. Martin Brest saw Diner and cast 
Reiser in Beverly Hills Cop. Jim Cameron 
saw that movie and cast him in Aliens. 


“That’s what makes you such a legend in the theater, 
darling—your impeccable sense of timing.” 


But Reiser still thought of stand-up as 
his priority and didn't have a с; 
plan—“you make the best of what's av 
able"—so he also fell into substandard 
projects. 

Take Sunset Limousine. a ТУ movie 
dumb enough to make My Жоо Dads look 
like a logical career move. "1 didn't par- 
ticularly want to do it,” he says. “I 
thought it would be fun to work with 
John Ritter, but it wasn't a great part or a 
great movie. So I said no. And they came. 
back with more money, and I said, ‘No, 
I'm not trying to raise the price. 1 just 
don't want to do it.’ And three or four 
times they came back with more money, 
until I went, ‘Oh, look at this: I'm nego- 
tating.” And I thought, Wow, that's pret- 
ty powerful. When you truly are willing 
to say no, look what can happen. And 
they ended up coming back with so 
much money that I went, ‘Gee, OK. 
Fuck yeah.” 

Later, he won his first lead, in Bachelor 
Party. The rest of the film was cast 
around him. He'd go to the Twentieth 
Century Fox lot, run through love 
scenes with hopeful starlets such as 
Tawny Kitaen, then go home and mi 
ter, “Another tough day at the studio.” 
But one week into production, the top 
brass watched the dailies and decided 
to fire Reiser. In his place, they cast a 
young actor named Tom Hanks. 

Reiser likes to shrug off such things: 
“In diis business,” he says, “you get used 
to a level of rejection that to somebody 
ouside would be staggering.” But even 
then, his friends insist, he wasn't devas- 
tated. “I had lunch with Paul the day he 
got back to town, and I was expecting 
him to be a puddle,” says Larry Miller. 
“But he was very centered, he knew it 
was the kind of thing that happens, and 
he was great. 1 thought that showed ex- 
traordinarily clear thinking and real 
serenity." 

Meanwhile, between the movies and 
stand-up gigs, Reiser developed a pilot 
with Gary David Goldberg, who'd been a 
fan of Reiser's. “He's a keen observer of 
ordinary people," says Goldberg. "The 
laughs in his act and on his show are 
laughs of recognition. They are deep 
and long-lasting." They developed a pi- 
lot that hit close to home: It was about a 
young man from New York who takes 
over his father’s business. But it didn't 
sell. “I liked the script a lot,” remembers 
Goldberg. “I guess I liked it more than 
NBC did. But everybody liked Paul, so 
they went ahead and put him in that oth- 
er show." 

"That other show was My Two Dads, 
bore little resemblance to the kind 
imor Reiser had been doing on- 
stage, or the quick wit that had led his 
comedian friends to dub him “the fastest 
gun on the East Side.” Reluctantly, he 
says, he discarded his own show. “It was 


a new comedy from the director of 


PRETTY WOMAN ~ 


A cops 


are going undercover 
on the exotic island of Eden. 


But to crack this case, they'll have to 
flash more than their badges. 


ҮҮҮҮҮҮҮҮҮ YYYVYVYYYYYY ДАН 


Sana Sal Фед Lan 


DELANY MERCURIO O'DONNELL AYKROYD 


SAVOY PICTURES meses s ALEX ROSE/HENDERSON eiooccrioy “EXIT TO EDEN” DANA DELANY PAUL MERCURIO IMAN 

STUART WILSON HECTOR ELIZONDO ROSIE O'DONNELL DAN AYKROYD 52:5 GARY DAIGLER "PATRICK DOYLE s 5:5 ELLEN MIROJNICK га DAVID FINFER "ESRA PETER JAMISON 
sao THEO VAN DE SANDE, sc fos EDWARD K. MILKIS so NICK ABDO: ANNE RICE "775 DEBORAH AMELON so BOB BRUNNER 

m RALEXANDRA ROSE GARRY MARSHALL" GARRY MARSHALL A SAVOY PICTURES RELEASE 


COMING THIS OCTOBER 


хойс 40 Page Color Catalog 


jbleS Features Museum 
Quality Reproductions 
ЗА « Cil War Swords, Pistols 
Flags, Hats & Insignia 


• tonr Nes Rifles, 
Holsters & Collectibles 
* Medieval, Samurai and 


Mitary Swords, Knives 
= Мпа байга 
Gunsand Canrons 
800-599-9994 
Мо COLLECTORS 
Armoury 
Dept PB, Box 50, Alexandria, МА 22313 


E 


STOP SWEAT 
6 WEEKS 


Drionic® is an incredibly more UNDERARMS 
effective way to combat excess 
sweat — without chemicals. Elec- 
tronic Drionic keeps the heavy 
Sweater dry for 6 week periods 
and is reusable. Thousands of 
units have been prescribed by 
doctors. Ten medical textbooks 
recommend Drionic as achoice 
method of control for the heavy 
‘sweater. 


‘Send for free information. 


GENERAL MEDICAL CO., Dept PB-73 
1935 Armacost Ave., Los Angeles, СА 90025 


A Sensual Way 


To Wear Hosiery 


Scat ane y bigh de 
putside, low on the insi 1. 
n lo an attractive 


optional! 


Fora brochi 


LIMITED EDITIONS 
P.O. Box 20, Farmington, СТ 
(203) 677-9225 — 00034 


SIZES: 5-12 
WIDTHS: B-EEE 
FINE MENS 


shoes except hidden 
repente innermold. 
акца 


1 
Cu no time. ТОМ. FREEL oo: 3810 
ELEVATORS? [] 
RICHLEE SHOE COMPANY, DEPT. PRAN 
P.O. Box 3566, Frederick, MD 21701 


a very painful process,” he says, “because 
I sort of bet against myself. And I never 
quite shook that during the whole My 
Two Dads experience. 1 thought, Maybe 
had I not done this, 1 could have been 
doing my show.” 

He talks cautiously, afraid to be too 
critical of the show but unable to be too 
laudatory. “1 always liken it to manufac- 
turing a product that you don't use 
yourself,” he says. “It’s like I make gar- 
den hoses but don't have a garden. All 
right, that’s not bad. I’m not manufac- 
turing napalm.” 

After that show's three-season run, he 
was determined not to do a series unless 
it reflected his interests and passions. 
While he put together a new stand-up 
act and a cable TV special, he began 
thinking about examining the early 
years of a marriage. It’s what he and 
Paula were going through, and it was the 
mest successful part of his act. 

“The only time I ever felt close to say- 
ing ‘Fuck this whole thing’ was right 
around then,” he says. “We had written 
the pilot for Mad About You and it was 
terrific, and at the time the network 
had these phony reasons for stalling. 
"Change page seven. “Wait a second. 
You like the show? Change page seven 
later.” They were just buying time to see 
what else they had. 1 knew, sight unseen, 
that it was better than the 20 things they 
might be thinking about. And I remem- 
ber thinking, I don’t have a better idea 
than this. I’m not the kind of guy who 
goes, ‘I got a million of ’em.’ 1 have one 
every once in a while.” 

Finally, NBC agreed to buy the show 
provided Reiser came up with an accept- 
able co-star. In early 1992 he brought 
them Helen Hunt. “We got to this office 
where we had to read for the network,” 
he recalls. “If it went well, they were go- 
ing to pick up the show. And while we 
were waiting, just out of nervous energy, 
1 started walking around, kibitzing with 
this person and that person. I stuck my 
head into this woman's office and started 
playing with something on her desk, and 
she laughed and said, ‘We've done this 
before, you know.’ 1 said, ‘When?’ She 
said, ‘I was the secretary to the casting 
director of Diner."” 

He walked out of the office with his 
green light from NBC. “I owe her some- 
thing,” he says of the woman who has 
been his good-luck charm twice. “I don't 
know what, but I owe her something.” 


The furniture is beige, and this time 
Reiser can't disown it. He's sitting in his 
office on the Culver Studios lot, where 
the mantel holds photos of his wife 
and of one of his heroes, John Lennon. 
Atop a television set in the corner are 
stacks of videotapes, many of them 


labeled SEINFELD. 

The TV season has ended. In the next 
few weeks Reiser will finish his book and 
begin work on Bye Bye Love, a movie 
comedy about divorced men on which 
he'll team up again with writer-producer 
Goldberg. Then it's back to work on Mad 
About You. 

“My fecling about Paul,” says Danny 
Jacobson, “is always that I would like to 
see him go a little deeper, bleed a litle. 
Even though he's a good actor, he comes 
from comedy, and when you come from 
that you never want to do anything 
to jeopardize it. Still, as he gets to be 
more comfortable, you'll start to see 
more things than you've seen from him 
before.” 

Contractually, everyone's committed 
for five seasons. “I don't know how 
much more than five years we can do," 
says Reiser. "In one way, I would love to 
end the fifth year with the birth of a ba- 
by, and then go away." NBC, he adds. 
wanted a baby after the first season. 
"We're talking about it,” he says, a bit re- 
luctantly. "And it's funny, because I've 
generally found that the show follows 
my life by three to five years. The stuff 
that Paul and Jamie go through, the dis- 
cussions they have, are things my wife 
and I went through five years ago. But 
having kids is something we've been dis- 
cussing lately, so if Paul and Jamie de- 
cide to have kids they won't be following 
us al all.” 

Suddenly Reiser stops and chuckles. 
“I just noticed the tapes on top of the 
TV," he says. “You're going to look at 
those and think I sit around here all day 
watching Seinfeld.” 

Then he gets back to the matter at 
hand. “I've found,” he says, “that any 
advance | make in life is reflected in my 
work, and vice versa. When I made that 
personal break and moved into the city, 
when I went into therapy, when I started 
growing in those areas, I found that my 
work blossomed, When I started going 
to acting class, my stand-up benefited. 
When I was doing better stand-up, my 
acting benefited. And to me it's all about, 
on one hand, expanding and moving 
forward and creating new things, but it's 
much more about stripping away and re- 
moving the obstacles. Г always maintain 
that this show is not autobiographical, 
and it's not. But the closer 1 make it and 
the greater those frequencies line up, 
the more the better stuff gets freed.” 

Then Reiser sits back, stretches and 
looks around the small office. It's Friday 
afternoon. His work here is done for the 
year, his book is almost finished and Bye 
Bye Lowe won't start shooting for a couple 
of weeks. There's nothing to do but go 
home, grab Paula and head for Malibu. 
Say what you will, he feels right at home 


there. 
[Y] 


Nothing programs your VCR 
easier than the VCR Plus+® system. 


Step 1. Look up the PlusCode® 


number in your TV listing. 6 
be A religious ceremony makes 
Step 2. Punch in the number. Jerry and Elaine apprehensive 


about being god-parents. 
Step 3. Watch when you want. 


The Control Tower? is a universal 
remote capable of operating your TV and 
video electronics. It eliminates the clutter 
caused by those other remotes. It can 
also change the channel on your cable 
box, so you can tape different shows on 
different channels. 

To start programming effortlessly 


Revenge. 


UNIVERSAL REMO? 


without using a manual, ask your local ¡JAN TROL] 
retailer for the Control Tower. TOWER 
e first 


Universal Remote 
with the VCR Plus+ 
feature built in. 


усп и. 


by oed M 


Make sure you get the universal 
remote with VCR Plus+ built in. 


30 Day Money Back Guarantee 


Buy a VCR Plus+ Control Tower before December 31 and get a 30 Day Money Back Guarantee 
plus a one year warranty. Call 800 432-8271 for more information. 


01994 Pinkerton Group, Inc. 


Patented child-resistant button. Safer self-extinguishing 
nylon body. Safer fixed flame for a consistent height. 
Nobody puts so many safety features into one lighter. 
The Safer Lighter. Cricket. Click-It” 


‚Remember, child-resistant lighters are not child-proof. Keep all lighters away from children. 


PLAYBOY 
ON:THE-SCENE 


ARTISTS ON BOARD 


uys want their boards to look as cool as they ride,” says board (below) after he spotted the artist's work in a gallery. Some 
Gregg Ойео of Division 23. For that reason, several companies feature cartoon characters such as Fat Albert on their 
snowboard companies are turning to the art world in boards. And others pay big bucks for images by well-known illus- 
search of graphic images that reflect the sports coun- — trators—including H.R. Giger, whose work has appeared on the 
terculture style. DiLeo, for example, commissioned Jeff Tremaine big screen (he designed the creature in Alien) and is now on 
to complete the funky man-and-fishbowl painting on the 156 — the slopes in the form of Pyramid's 163 C series freeride board 


as what to ride. This season's killer boards include Pyramid's 163 С series freeride model (front left) with illustration by H.R. Gi 
156 freeride board (front right) with artwork by Jefi Tremaine, $430, and the 146 model (rear left) with graphics by DC Comics illustrator Gavin 
Wilson, $425, both by Division 23; plus Black Flys’ Dana Nicholson 163 pro board (rear right) with artwork by Marcus Huebner, $425. 177 


Where & How to Buy on page 156. 


GRAPEVINE 


Lauren's Grace 

Under Lace 

Actress LAUREN HAYES has 
been on screen in America's 

Furmiest People, Erotic Land- 
scapes and, her latest, The 
Great Bikini Off-Road Ad- 

venture. Expect a sequel. 


No Crumbs on 
This Cracker 


When we last checked on Crack- 
er and lead singer DAVID LOW- 
ERY, we were only making pre- 
dictions. Now we're feeling smug: 
Kerosene Hat has gone gold and the 
band recently toured with Spin Doc- 
tors. These rednecks are for real. 


Easy Rider 

LAUNA MOROSAN may be doing her mo- 
torcycle mama bit here, but you've seen 
her on Married With Children, Quantum 
Leap and Cheers. She's been Miss Coors 
and has done numerous calendars and 


posters. Launa makes this chrome shine. 


Street Songs 

TED HAWKINS was once famous only for singing in Venice 
Beach, California. He sang in the streets. Now he sings at fes- 
tivals, on concert stages and on a major label album, The Next 
Hundred Years. Think of a voice that echoes both Sam Cooke 
and Otis Redding—then turn up the volume. 


The Great 
Pretender 

After a four-year lay- 
off, the Pretenders 
are back with a new 
album and a tour— 
and frontwoman 
CHRISSIE HYNDE is 
singing about moth- 
erhood. “Child-rear- 
ing has its moments,” 
she says, “but there’s 
nothing like living 
out of a suitcase.” 
Punk mommy. 


. , Оп the 
Right Tracks 
Maybe sitting on the railroad tracks isn't wise, but these are 
the CRASH TEST DUMMIES. God Shuffled His Feet has gone 

platinum, and the Dummies have headed off to tour in Eu- 
rope until early December, They can come home again. 


Cristin Holds Her Cover 
Model CRISTIN FITZPATRICK has done a commercial for Miller Lite 
and appeared in Muscle & Fitness magazine, but our readers will 
recognize her from Playboy's Book of Lingerie. Look for more 

of Cristin in Playboy's Nudes. 
We know how to 
pick 'em. 


POTPOURRI 


LEROY AND THE CITY OF LIGHT 


In November 1993 we published A Passion for 
Paris, a collection of LeRoy Neiman paintings 
that beautifully capture his 50-year love affair 
with the City of Light. These and dozens of 
other Neiman works are included in LeRoy 
Neiman: An American in Paris, Harry N. Abrams” 
handsome new coffee-table book. Along with 
text that was written by Neiman, the book con- 
39 illustrations, including black-and- 
rs and a magnificent col- 


or spread depicting an imaginary gastronomic 
gathering at Le Grand Véfour that includes 
Honoré de Balzac. The price: $49.50. 


GETTING RUBBED THE RIGHT WAY 


“The effect of the Quattro is similar to that of a professional rub- 
down,” claims Ed Buchner, president of Vimed, Inc, And having 
experienced the Quattro Massager ourselves, we can attest that 
its four individually powered vibrating heads simulate a shiatsu 
massage when applied to the upper and lower back, thighs, 
calves, arms, neck and shoulders. (The Quattro has an adjustable 
speed control that allows for variable pummeling.) And if your 
tired tootsies need some tender loving care, the unit's flat design 
allows you to massage pressure points on the bottoms of your 
feet. The price: $129.95. Call 704-334-0000 for retail information. 


DIVERS’ PLEASURES 


It may not have occurred to you that the diam- 
eter of a dive watch and a condom are almost 
identical, but that fact wasn't lost on the Adam 
& Eve company. So it has created the Protech 
П, a quartz scuba-style calendar watch with a 
secret compartment that houses a Gold Circle 
Coin condom. Think of it as both a watch and a 
lifesaver. The price: $39.95, postpaid, including 
three condoms, a one-year warranty and a gift 
box. Call 800-765-2326 to order. 


LIFE IN THE FAST LANE 


You can spend $4000 for a three-hour, one-way Bs 
flight from New York to London or $24, pos А 
tape How They Fly the Concorde and save $3976. Film: 

747 captain Paul Havis has captured never-before-seen footage of 
the plane in flight, not only from the cockpit but also from the 
vantage of another Concorde. And while the plane is traveling at 
twice the speed of sound, 60,000 feet above the earth, you'll also 
be treated to a peek at what's being served from the five-star 
menu and wine list. Call 800-993-0333 to order. 


WINES FOR THE BIDDING 


Now that New York has opened wine 
auctions to the public, Manhattan's finest 
liquor merchants are putting some ex- 
ceptional vintages on the block. A mag- 
num of 1945 Chateau Petrus, for exam- 
ple, be offered by Morrell & Co. 
auction on November 19 at the Union 
League Club, 38 East 37th Street. Es 
mated value: $4000 to $6000. There 
also be great buys in lesse 
vintages. Call 800- 
96-wINES to or- 
dera $15 cat- 
alog with all 
the details. 


GOT A LIGHT? 


Image Ad Graphics in Virginia Beach, 
Virginia has a hot idea: 30" x 24" posters 
that are illustrated with matchbooks from 
the most exciting restaurants and night 
spots of cities here and abroad. Chicago 
is among the national destinations avail- 
able, as are Berlin and other foreign 
cities. The price is $19.50 each, postpaid. 
Call 800-365-5200 to order—and ask 
about T-shirts and sweatshirts, too. 


Chicago 


e ES 


THE BARBI TWINS 
TURN JAMES BOND 


Those two bosomy beauties, the 
Barbi twins, have just returned 
to the newsstands in Prelude to a 
Mission, a James Bond comic- 
book parody. Yes, there's plenty 
of global intrigue—and not just 
in Shane and Si 
embark on a spy 
with a bagful of сохт 
thong bikinis. Prelude's 32 fu 
color pages are tastefully 5 
no "adults only" label required. 
The price: $2.95 on newsstands 
in early January or $5, postpaid, 
if you order it from Topps 
Comics, c/o Barbi Twins Comic 
Offer, PO. Box 155, Avoca, 
Pennsylvania 18641 


A DRY MARTINI AND 
A PACKAGE OF PINS 


"George Petty was to the Ameri- 
can woman what Norman Rock- 
well was to the family" is how 
21st Century Archives describes 
the popular pinup ar 
celebrate his talent, 2 
ated a set of 50 collectible trad- 
ing cards that reproduce some 
of Petty's most famous works of 
art. (We will soon showcase Pet- 
ty's work in a PLAYBOY portfolio.) 
Ло get the set—including the 
balloon dancer pictured here, 
which dates from the 1930s and 
the days of exotic dancer Sally 
Rand—send a check for $16.50, 
postpaid, to 21st Century 
Archives, PO. Box 1927, 

Royal Oak, Michigan 48068. 


BEAR WITH US 


As we all know, teddy bears 
aren't just for children. Don- 
ald Campbell took along his 
favorite bear, Mr. Whoppit, 
when he set a water speed 
record in 1958. And Alfonzo, 
a bear once owned by 

Princes епа! of Rus 


auction in London in ‚ 1080 

It's all in Teddy Bear Stories for 

Стит-ирх, a softcover book 
[| 2 


piled by Catherine Taylor. 
The tales range from mystery 
to humor to romance and 
“pay tribute to the special re- 


um Publishing at 
800-992-2908 to order a copy 
for $17.95, postpaid 


182 


NEXT MONTH: GALA CHRISTMAS ISSUE 


JUUES RIGHT 


LIFE WITHOUT PLAYBOY? 


DYNAMITE HANDS—JOHNNY IS A SOLID FIGHTER, NOTH- 
ING SPECIAL. UNTIL ANGEL TEACHES HIM TO JUICE UP 
HIS PUNCHES—HARD-HITTING FICTION BY THOM JONES 


TORY SEX SCANDALS—WHAT IS IT ABOUT THOSE BRITS 
WHO PREACH FAMILY VALUES BUT CAN'T KEEP THEIR 
PANTS ON? A SIZZLING REPORT ON THE HOTBED OF 
HYPOCRISY BY PETER PRINGLE 


TOM HANKS—NOT SINCE SPENCER TRACY AND JIMMY 
STEWART HAS A HOLLYWOOD STAR HELD SUCH A GRIP 
ON OUR HEART. WHAT MAKES FORREST SO ENCHANTING? 
A PLAYBOY PROFILE BY ROGER EBERT 


OBSESSION -WHEN DOES LOVE CROSS THE LINE INTO 
MADNESS? O.J. SIMPSON IS ONLY THE LATEST ТО BE AC- 
CUSED OF TURNING REJECTION INTO FATAL RAGE—BY 
JOE MORGENSTERN 


RIGHT YOU ARE—PLAYBOY'S LATEST GIFT TO SHOWBIZ 
15 JULIE LYNN CIALINI. YOU MET HER AS MISS FEBRU- 
ARY 1994. NOW SHE'S FOLLOWING IN DIAN PARKINSON'S 
FOOTSTEPS ON THE PRICE IS RIGHT. COME ON DOWN! 


CASH AND CARREY—HE'S THE MAN IN THE MASK 
WHOSE RUBBER FACE AND HYPED-UP HUMOR MADE HIM 


SUPERMODELS YEAR 


COMEDY'S HOTTEST TICKET. WILL THE REAL JIM CARREY 
PLEASE STAND UP?—ARTICLE BY BERNARD WEINRAUB 


LIFE WITHOUT PLAYBOY—WOULD THE WORLD BE DIF- 
FERENT IF BUNNIES HAD STAYED IN THE FOREST AND HEF 
WORE FAJAMAS ONLY TO BED? AN UPLIFTING REFLEC- 
TION ON THE POWER OF DREAMS—BY BUCK HENRY 


VINCENT BUGLIOSI—THE PROSECUTOR WHO PUT AWAY 
CHARLES MANSON GIVES HIS VERDICT ON O.J., LAWYERS 
AND JUSTICE IN A TOUGH CROSS-EXAM BY DAVID SHEFF 


GARRY SHANDLING—THE STAR OF THE LARRY SANDERS 
SHOW REVEALS HIS DARK SIDE, GIVES THE LOWDOWN ON 
JAY, JOHNNY AND DAVE. AND PROVES HE'S ONE MASTER 
CHATMEISTER IN A DROLL PLAYBOY INTERVIEW 


BO DEREK—STILL A TEN, SHE LOOKS MORE RAVISHING 
THAN EVER IN A SPECIAL HOLIDAY PICTORIAL SHOT BY 
HER HUSBAND, PHOTOGRAPHER JOHN DEREK 


PLUS: SUPERMODELS IN SEX STARS, PARTY FASHION, 
THOSE RIOTOUS HOLIDAY NEWSLETTERS. CHRISTMAS 
GIFTS, GREAT WINTER DRINKS AND SEX TRICKS TO 
BRING REAL JOY TO THE HOLIDAYS 


SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Smoking 
Causes Lung Cancer, Heart Disease, 
Emphysema, And May Complicate Pregnancy. 


100's, 16 mg. 12 mg. nicotine av. per cigarette by FTC method.