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PLAYBILL 


WHILE MUCH entertainment news is fluff, we strive to bring you 
the person inside the celebrity. Take Ме! Gibson. Sure, you've 
seen him wisecrack in Lethal Weapon or glibly chat through TV 
appearances. But you have never seen him as frank or as 
brash as he is with Contributing Editor Lawrence Grobel in this 
month’s Interview. Call 1995 Mad Max’ year of talking dan- 
gerously. From bloody bar brawls to the battle-ax gore of his 
new film, Braveheart, Gibson candidly describes his fights with 
a former business partner (he calls her the C-word), an ob- 
noxious biographer (“I'd tear his fucking face right off”) and 
gay rights activists (Gibson's a staunch Catholic). 

Ah, controversy. It fueled NYPD Blue's rookie season—but 
credit Dennis Franz with keeping the show in doughnuts. Dur- 
ing the David Caruso standoff, Franz let his portrayal of tor- 
mented detective Andy Sipowic do the talking and was re- 
warded with a Golden Globe. Writer Steve Oney got to know 
Franz at the same time, and the resulting Playboy Profile is 
powerful—particularly when Franz shares his memories of 
Vietnam. Speaking of golden globes, Carol Shaye was recently 
kicked off the New York City police force for doing the same 
thing as Franz: baring her buns of blue steel in public (in her 
case, the August 1994 рглувоу). This month, catch up with 
Shaya in an arresting two-page feature 

Law and order, round two: If there’s a rival to movies in 
Los Angeles, it has to be courtroom drama. Four years ago, we 
sent Robert Rand deep behind the defenses of Erik and Lyle 
Menendez for an article (The Killing of Jose Menendez, March 
1991) on what tumed out to be the second most celebrated 
trial in America. Now, as the boys go back to court, Rand 
brings us Menendez Confidential (illustrated by Stasys Eidrigevi- 
cius) with fresh info on what Erik told O.]. in jail, and why Erik 
thinks his former lawyer, Robert Shapiro, screwed up. 

Kurt Loder is the most influential music critic on MTV next 
to Beavis and Butt-head, which pretty much makes him more 
important than the fifth Beatle. So he was ready when Con- 
tributing Editor Worren Kalbocker showed up on his doorstep 
for 20 Questions. Loder unloaded a bunch of stuff he can't say 
on his show: what it’s like hanging out in the men’s room of 
Radio City, his wish to see the photos of Michael Jackson's pe- 
nis, and the feminist strains of Abba. On a different wave- 
length, Contributing Editor Kevin Cook put his ear to the 
ground, and it turned red from the latest wend: sex-talk ra- 
dio. See his Media column, “Eargasms.” Also tuned in to a new 
word order are graphic novelists who have dumped Super- 
man for supermensch. In Postmodern Comics—a look at the of- 
ten neglected art of comics for adults—John Tomkiw examines 
the mavericks behind the new literacy. 

Atlast, some real superheroes. Craig Vetter ascends an ocean- 
side Olympus in Volleyball Goddesses. It’s a look at the women's 
pro beach circuit. To use their language (see Beach Blanket Lin- 
£0), you'll wince at the facials and sigh when the women put a 
stamp on it. Then we downsize. With a nod to Louisa May Al- 
cott, our Little Women pictorial focuses on babes who bring us 
to our knees. Finding the right woman puts the hero of Road 
Test, fiction by Lenny Kleinfeld, in a bind when he learns she has 
a secret that will drive him around the bend. Vivienne Flesher 
did the artwork. 

It’s getting hot, so it's no wonder we have water on the 
brain. We discovered Playmate Heidi Mark on the set of our 
Miami Heat pictorial (September 1993). Thanks to photos by 
Stephen Wayda, you'll see she’s doing swimmingly on the West 
Coast. Then cool off with our Water Toys feature, illustrated by 
Martin Hoffman. Our summer celeb fest concludes with ex—cal- 
endar girl Sandra Taylor, who has a memorable scene on a train 
in Steven Seagal's Under Siege 2: Dark Territory. Taylor is our 
starlet at the end of the tunnel. 


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PLAYBOY. 


vol. 42, no. 7—july 1995 CONTENTS FOR THE MEN’S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE 
PLAYBILL. ee a а U 
DEAR PLAYBOY ................ 13 
PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS . сүл T ES 17 
MOVIES BRUCE WILLIAMSON 20 
VIDEO bees + B 23 
STYLE 24 
WIRED ОЙУ засо & ‚ £9 
MEDIA...... . KEVIN COOK зо 
MUSIC.,.... eese 32 Toylor Made 
BOOKS. DIGBY DIEHL 36 
MEN... * ASABABER 37 
THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR. . . 39 
THE PLAYBOY FORUM — 41 
PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: MEL GIBSON—candid conversation. 5 ee АЙС] 
MENENDEZ CONFIDENTIAL—true crime....................... ROBERT RAND 58 
TAYLOR MADE—pictorial ыы (62) 
HAWAIIAN CHIC—iashion. „HOLLIS WAYNE 70 
PLAYBOY GALLERY: KAREN FOSTER Е ETS, 
THE NEW POSTMODERN COMIC—orticle .. JOHN TOMKIW 77 
CAROL SHAYA: BUSTED—pictoriol. |... ss er 82 
ROAD TEST—fiction =... eee cere ee eee es eee eo > LENNY KLEINFELD 84 
THE HEIDI CHRONICLES—ployboy's playmate of the month ................ 88 
PARTY JOKES—humor 98 
THE LINEN LOOK—foshion. .... 100 
103 
107 
VOLLEYBALL GODDESSES—arlicle .................... 110 
FULL MOON RISING—ployboy profile 112 
LITTLE WOMEN—pictorial . 116 
CARRY ON!—trovel............ + 126 
20 QUESTIONS: KURT LODER .................. 128 
WHERE & HOW TO BUY........ 159 
PLAYBOY ON THE SCENE __ 161 


COVER STORY 


With her eye-catching role in Steven Seagal’s Under Siege 2, model- 
turned-actress Sandra Taylor is оп her way. This month she celebrates In- 
dependence Day in her own special way. Our cover wos produced by West 
Coast Photo Editor Marilyn Grabowski, styled by Jennifer Tutor and photo- 
graphed by Stephen Wayda. Thanks to Alexis Vogel for styling Sandro's 
hair and makeup. Fireworks by John Cranham and, of course, our Rabbit. 


GENERAL OFFICES: PLAYBOY. ево NORTH LAKE SHORE DRIVE. CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 6061 |. PLAYBOY ASSUMES NO RESPONSIBILITY TO RETURN UNSOLICITED EDITORIAL OR GRAPHIC он OTHER MA- 


PAGES 36:37 IN ALL DOMESTIC SUPSCHIPTION COPIES OPTEK INSERT BETWEEN PAGES 130-131 IN SELECTEO OOMESTIC Si 


TAS HUSTHAOAS BEPENBIENTE DE LA SECRETARIA CE GOBERNACIÓN, MÉXICO. RESERVA DE TÍTULO EN TRÁMITE 
PRINTED IN U.S.A 


PLAYBOY 


10 


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PLAYBOY 


ARTHUR KRETCHMER editorial director 
JONATHAN BLACK managing editor 
TOM STAEBLER art director 
GARY COLE photography director 
KEVIN BUCKLEY executive editor 
JOHN REZEK assistant managing editor 


EDITORIAL. 

ARTICLES: PETER MOORE, STEPHEN RANDALL edi- 
tors; FICTION: ALICE K. TURNER editor; FORUM: 
JAMES R. PETERSEN Senior staff writer; CHIP ROWE 
assistant editor; MODERN LIVING: DAVID 
stevens editor; Bern Tomniw associate editor; 
STAFF: BRUCE KLUGER, CHRISTOPHER NAPOLITANO, 
BARBARA NELLIS associate editors; FASHION: HOL- 
LIS WAYNE director; JENNIFER RYAN JONES assis- 
tant editor; CARTOONS: MICHELLE URRY editor; 
COPY: LEOPOLD FROEHLICH editor; ARLAN BUSH- 
MAN assistant editor; ANNE SHERMAN сору associ- 
ale; CAROLYN BROWNE senior researcher; LEE 
BRAUER, REMA SMITH, SARI WILSON researchers; 
CONTRIBUTING EDITORS: ASA BABER. 
KEVIN COOK, GRETCHEN EDGREN, LAWRENCE GRO- 
BEL, KEN GROSS (gulomolive), CYNTHIA HEIMEL, 
WILLIAM J. HELMER, WARREN KALBACKER, D. KEITH 
MANO, JOE MORGENSTERN, REG POTTERTON, DAVID 
RENSIN, DAVID SHEFF, DAVID STANDISH. MORGAN 
STRONG, BRUCE WILLIAMSON (movies) 


ART 
KERIG POPE managing director; BRUCE HANSEN, 
CHET SUSKI, LEN WILLIS senior directors; KRISTIN 
KORJENEK associate director; ANN SEIDL supervisor, 
heyline/pasteup; PAUL CHAN, RICKIE THOMAS art 
s 


PHOTOGRAPHY 
MARILYN GRABOWSKI west coast editor; JIM LARSON, 
MICHAEL ANN SULLIVAN senior editors; PATTY 
BEAUDET associate editor; STEPHANIE BARNETT, 
BETH MULLINS assistant editors; DAVID CHAM, 
RICHARD FEGLEY, ARNY FREYTAG, RICHARD IZUL, 
DAVID MECEY, BYRON NEWNAN, POMPEO POSAR, 
STEPHEN WayDa contributing photographers; 
SHELLEE WELLS stylist; TIM HAWKINS manager, pho- 
to archive 


RICHARD KINSLER publisher 


PRODUCTION 
MARIA MANDIS director; RITA JOHNSON manager; 
KATHERINE CAMPION, JODY JURGETO, RICHARD 
QUARTAROLI. TOM SIMONER associate managers 


CIRCULATION 
LARRY A. DJERF newsstand sales director; PHYLLIS 
ROTUNNO subscription circulation director; CINDY 
RAKOWITZ communications director 


ADVERTISING 
ERNIE RENZULLI advertising direclor; JUDY BER- 
‚kowitz national projects director; KIM L PINTO 
sales director, eastern region; IRV KORNBLAU maT- 
keting director; LISA NATALE research director 


READER SERVICE 
LINDA STROM, MIKE OSTROWSKI correspondents 


ADMINISTRATIVE 
EILEEN KENT new media director; MARCIA TER 
RONES rights & permissions administrator 


PLAYBOY ENTERPRISES, INC. 
CHRISTIE HEFNER chairman, chief executive officer 


Bates: Jane 2 5, 8,15, 2120/29 


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‚Playdates: June 10,12,15,21,24, 


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njoy the ultimate in late night 
entertainment 24 hours a day with 
all of the sensuality, passion and 
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from Playboy. Playboy Television 
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up of provocative, made-for- 
Playboy world premiere movies, 
spectacular special events, 
uncensored music videos, sizzling 
series and, of course, Playmates. 
Playboy's got it all, and you can 
have it all — anytime, day or night! 


PLAYBOY 


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And feel the allurement of the road. Experience the elation that 
comes from the new 300 horsepower 545. With a slight touch 
of your hand. ndulge in supple power steering and rigorous 
handling. Smell its pervasive full Connolly leather. And enjoy. for 
once, stimulation of the senses, without the invasion of intellect. 


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FOR THE РЕМ WHD KNow THE DIFFERENCE 


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DEAR PLAYBOY 


680 NORTH LAKE SHORE DRIVE 
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 50611. 
FAX 312-549-9534 
E-MAIL DEARPE@PLAYBOY.COM 
PLEASE INCLUDE YOUR DAYTIME PHONE NUMBER. 


HISTORY OF JAZZ & ROCK 
Hope I Die Before I Get Old (April) by 
David Standish helped a lot of the 
Nineties generation tune in to the roots 
of today's music. 
Rocky Hanrahan 
Wilmington, Massachusetts 


As a fan of Sixties music and of the 
Rolling Stones, I must raise one minor 
point about a guitar pictured in Stan- 
dish's article. It may have belonged to 
Keith Richards, but I can assure you he 
never played it during the Sixties. The 
Fender Telecaster Deluxe wasn't pro- 
duced until 1972. A more appropriate 
choice would have been the Les Paul 
custom, which, as I recall, Richards 
played and smashed on the 1969 tour. 

Jeffrey Hunt 

South Berwick, Maine 


BARBARA KEESLING 

PLAYBOY has had some marvelous mo- 
ments, but none finer than The Doclor Is 
In (April), From her writing, 1 know that 
Barbara Kecslingis intelligent, articulate 
and compassionate. 1 am delighted to 
discover that she is an exquisite beauty 
as well. 


David Chapman 
Loveland, Colorado 


The photos of Barbara Keesling are 
wonderful. Hawaiian Tropic girls Angel 
Boris and Shana Hiatt may have stolen 
my heart, but the good doctor is wel- 
come to the rest. 
B.V. Evans 
Alpharetta, Georgia 


DYING YOUNG 

I was gratified by Betty Friedan's com- 
ments on the pathetically short male life 
span in Why Men Die Young (April). She 
had dismissed this issue back in the Sev- 
enties. I am disappointed that she still 
subscribes to feminist nonlogic. If the fe- 
male population sacrificed more than 10 
million lives and the medical profession 


didn’t bother to find out why, would 
feminists conclude that society doesn't 
take men seriously? 
Fredric Hayward 
Men's Rights Inc. 
Sacramento, California 


Women have longer life spans because 
they have the freedom to make changes. 
Women can go to college to expand their 
minds, while men must go to set a career 
path in concrete. Women may join the 
military by choice; with men, it is either a 
call to duty or required by law. Even 
pregnancy is a woman's choice. Maybe 
we should spend more on men's health 
care until life span equity is achieved. 

Eugene Phillip 
Great Falls, Virginia 


Friedan's piece reminds me of a true 
story about the wife of a former employ- 
ee. This man took another job that re- 
quired him to travel. While out of town, 
he was murdered. When I went to pay 
my respects, his wife told me that when 
she had her husband's body returned to 
her she began to strike his corpse in 
anger. Why? Because he had gotten him- 
self killed and left her with three chil- 
dren. This didn't seem any more abnor- 
mal to me than Friedan blaming men for 
their own early deaths. But I do object to 
you subjecting me to this ignorance. Lit- 
tle boys want to be heroes. Little girls 
want to be loved. Heroes die young. 

Steven Maberry 
Santa Fe, New Mexico 


Friedan's article on why women live 
longer is insulting to men. The issue is a 
neglect of men's health, not women's 
Men must ask why federal dollars aren't 
spent to determine why women live 
longer than men. Friedan’s anecdotal ev- 
idence may have some merit, but as sci- 
ence it's useless. 

Steven Holzner 
National Center for Men 
Ithaca, New York 


MYSTERIOUS 


B E A u T Y 


Kinuko Craft has done hundreds of illus- 
trations for Playboy, often rendering mod- 
ern subjects in the styles of bygone mas- 
ters. Now you can own one of her most 
romantic and sensual images as a signed 
and numbered lithograph. Mysterious 
Beauty, which appeared in the June 
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PLAYBOY 


PERCHANCE TO DREAM 
I met April Playmate Danelle Folta at 

the Health and Fitness Expo before the 
Los Angeles Marathon. She was beauti- 
ful, outgoing and sincere, and she had a 
positive attitude about life. 

Dan Hernandez 

Los Angeles, California 


I have always loved redheads, but 
Danelle is absolutely radiant. Her red 
hair reflects her passion for life. 

H. Alan Myrick 
Richmond, Virginia 


REPORTER'S NOTEBOOK 
While I always enjoy reading Robert 
Scheer's controversial opinions, “Cracked 
Obsession” (April) really pissed me off. 
It’s not right to penalize crack possessors 
five times more harshly than powder 
possessors, but I hardly think this is an 
attempt to oppress the black community. 
It surely goes deeper than the color of 
someone's skin. The real issues here are 
politics, money and drugs. 
Leland Wheaton 
Dayton, Ohio 


To say that the tough laws on crack are 
really calculated efforts aimed at harass- 
ing blacks is ridiculous and very cynical. 
When crack came on the scene a rela- 
tively short time ago its usage was grow- 
ing at an alarming rate. The tough laws 
were passed in an effort to discourage its 
use. 1 he laws area good thing for every- 
body, especially for those who live in the 
projects. When writers manipulate data 
and dream up conspiracies, they do 
more to hurt race relations than they do 
to help them. 

Malcolm Washington 
Des Moines, Iowa 


Robert Scheer missed one important 
point. Instead of reducing the penalty 
for crack use, why not stiffen the penalty 
for powdered cocaine use until the two 
are comparable? 

Greg O'Keefe 
Newport News, Virginia 


VIRTUAL ERROR 
Just thought Га let you know that 
your illustration for the virtual guitar 
CD-ROM game (Wired, April) is a bass. 
Even though a bass is а guitar, a guitar is 
not necessarily a bass. The game uses a 
guitar (six strings), the illustration shows 
a bass (four strings). 
Mark Biery 
Chesapeake, Virginia 
Thanks for bringing this to our readers’ at- 
tention. We were having so much fun jam- 
ming with Joe Perry, we failed to notice that 
we broke tio strings. 


BEAUTIFUL BRONZE BOMESHELLS 
When 1 received my April issue and 
saw the cover, 1 just about went into car- 


14 diac arrest. Please give us a pictorial of 


Shana Hiatt (Girls of Hawatian Tropic) as 
soon as possible. 
РС. Thomas 
PGThomas@aol.com 
Van Nuys, California 


Until now, 1 never understood why 
letter writers told you that you had 
achieved perfection in a pictorial or on a 
cover. Your April cover is not only as- 
tounding, it's perfect 

Jeremy Ahern 
Laramie, Wyoming 


Sung Hi Lee is the most incredible 
woman to appear in PLAYBOY in a long 
time. Could you devote an entire issue 
to her? 

Rob Dennis 
Ann Arbor, Michigan 


You have featured some wonderful 
covers over the years—Susan Kiger (No- 


vember 1977), Liz Wickersham (April 
1981), Teri Peterson (November 1981) 
and Jennifer Lavoie (October 1994). 
Now it's no contest. Shana Hiatt’s cover 
surpasses them all. 
Andy Boyd 
Wheaton, Illinois 


We, your loyal readers at UC-Berke- 
ley, would like to see more of Sung Hi 
Lee. Two pictures are not enough. 

Riva Han 
Berkeley, California 


Generally, I'm more interested in the 
articles than the pictures. But Shana Hi- 
ац’ cover has to be the best ever. 

Hilton Wiggins 
Dallas, Texas 


WOMEN 

1 just read Cynthia Heimel's “Nice 
Girls Don't Read Romances” (Women, 
April) and 1 wonder what took her so 


long to discover these books. When most 
of the men I know see a “bodice ripper” 
on their lover's nightstand, they know 
that it will usually lead to interesting 
lovemaking. I'd be happy to recommend 
some titles. 

Deborah Cook 

Fountain Valley, California 


Nice girls read romances; so do girls 
who are naughty, old, young, fat, skinny, 
attractive, plain, fashionable or unfash- 
ionable. According to Harlequin Books, 
there are more than 50 million female 
romance readers in North America 
alone. The sex scenes take place in the 
context of monogamous. relationships 
that work on equal terms. That's the fan- 
tasy for women. 


Susan Wiggs 
Houston, Texas 


I find Cynthia Heimel intelligent and 
witty. However, I must take exception to 
her April column. I am a reader and 
writer of romance novels. I suggest a 
book called Dangerous Men. and Adventur- 
ous Women by Jayne Ann Krentz, which 
explains why women enjoy these books. 
By the way, 46 percent of all paperbacks 
sold are romance novels. 

Tonya Lawson 
Ontario, California 


COURT MAGIC 
I enjoy reading your interviews and 
articles, but I take issue with Joe Mor- 
genstern's profile of Johnnie Cochran in 
the April issue. He portrays Cochran as a 
hero looking out for the underdog, but 
what we really have here is an obnoxious 
attorney who is going to cost Los Ange- 
les taxpayers millions of dollars, espe- 
cially if there needs to be a second trial. 
Michael Robinson 
Rockville, Maryland 


FICTION 

Afier reading Richard Chiappone's 
Dealer’s Choice (April), I can only say: 
Thank the Lord it is only fiction. Poker 
is the ultimate contemporary form of 
manly combat. It’s what testosterone is 
all about. 


Richard Sterk 
Danbury, Connecticut 


NYPD NUDE REVISITED 
What's wrong with this world? I'm 
talking, of course, about Carol Shaya 
(New York's Finest, August) getting 
canned. What did she do that was 
wrong? She got punished, and the scum 
she tried to lock up are free to walk the 
streets. I hope that we'll see her in 
PLAYEOY again. 
Adam Waldera 
Whitewater, Wisconsin 
Turn to page 82 for a new Carol Shaya pic- 
torial and enjoy. 


16 mg таг 11 mg nicotine av. per cigarette by FIC method. 


SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Smoking 


By Pregnant Women May Result in Fetal 
Injury, Premature Birth, And Low Birth Weight. 


© Philip Morris Inc. 1995 


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PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS 


THE BREEDER HANDBOOK 


To paraphrase Henry Beard and 
Christopher Cerf, authors of The Official 
Sexually Correct Dictionary and Dating 
Guide, the language of romance is not 
dead; st heavily footnoted. With 
572 notations, the Dating Guide is an ex- 
haustively researched glossary of terms 
actually coined by such hyperfeminists 
as Andrea Dworkin and Sheila Jeffreys. 
Some of the more startling interpreta- 
tions include 

Coitus: punishment 

Dating: compulsory heterosexuality 

Desire: eroticized power difference 

Flowers: instruments of ritual violation 

Kissing: osculatory rape 

Man: potential rapist 

Marriage: domestic incarceration 

Mistletoe: an uninvited-endearment 

sanctifier 

Penis: dildo substitute 

Prostitute: sex care provider 


WILD OATS 


Looks like a young mover and shaker 
at Quaker Oats knows a thing or two 
about acid trance. Packages of Instant 
Quaker Oatmeal now sport bits of pop 
trivia on such subjects as hip-hop, rave, 
fanzines and grunge. One demanding 
multiple-choice question asked kids: 
“What's the difference between house 
music and rave music?” Fortunately for 
parents, the answer was listed on the 
same packet: “House is generally 120 
beats per minute, rave is 132 beats per 
minute.” 


HIGH-RISE HOTEL 


The Mandarin Oriental hotel in San 
Francisco sits atop a 48-story skyscraper. 
With bathtubs-for-two equipped with 
spigots for champagne and an inspiring 
view of the tip of the Transamerica pyra- 
mid, it was saluted in a recent issue of 
the British magazine For Women as the 
Horny Hotel of the Month. 


BRINGING UP THE REAR 


Recently, the Los Angeles Times praised 
retired general Norman Schwarzkopf 


for encouraging men to overcome their 
reluctance to discuss prostate cancer. He 
explained how his own prostate cancer 
almost went undetected and reasoned 
that “when you are a general, the doc- 
tors don't tend to do a thorough digital 
rectal exam.” No, they save those for pri- 
vates and taxpayers. 


WOMEN AND WOODIES 


Ah, the strong, silent type: Self recent- 
ly published an article on eco-psycholo 
By. a new form of psychotherapy that is 
designed for people riddled with worries 
about the degradation of the environ- 
ment. The cure? One eco-shrink recom- 
mended "establishing a relationship with 
a tree.” 


U GOT 2B KIDDING 


Four years ago, Pam O'Leary of Mich- 
igan requested and got the vanity license 
plate russe, which expressed her sup- 
port of the French abortion pill. Howev- 
er, a few months ago state officials wrote 
her demanding that she surrender the 
plates, claiming they were “obviously is- 
sued in error.” The Secretary of State's 


ILLUSTRATION BY GARY KELLEY 


office routinely checks requests for vani- 
ty plates that combine words, numbers 
or letters in an offensive way. Curiously, 
there is a Michigan license plate that 
reads rroLiFE, which no one has com- 
plained about yet. O'Leary plans to ap- 
peal the state’s decision 


MR. PAINT-BY-NUMBER 


For starters, it stands for the hopes, as- 
pirations and collective good wishes of 
an entire civilization. The Internal Rev- 
enue Service uses so many acronyms 
that even accountants who daily toil 
within its regulations find them confus- 
ing. Recently, IRS chief Margaret Milner 
Richardson recalled one tax specialist 
who was listening to a discussion of the 
IRS's Art Advisory Panel, a group that 
values taxpayers’ artwork gifts. The spe- 
cialist turned to Richardson and asked, 
“What does ART stand for?” 


MY OWN PRIVATE ALAMO 


Texans are famous for their ability to 
defend their turf, so it's not surprising 
that a San Antonio company has taken 
home security to a truly ornery level: 
Bullet Resistant Systems can turn your 
home into a fortress impervious to gun- 
fire. The company installs bullet-resis- 
tant, fiberglass-based paneling on walls 
and doors and equally tough shutters 
on windows. In a backhanded endorse- 
ment, police officials have expressed dis- 
may about the system because it helps 
prevent gunfire from entering the house 
no matter which side of the law the bul- 
lets come from. 


THE 13 TENNERS 


In appealing her alimony award, Toni 
Tenner argued that she didn’t commit 
the adultery that led to the breakup of 
her marriage. Rather, it was one of her 
13 personalities who violated her wed- 
ding vows. Kentucky, where this case is 
taking place, allows marital conduct to 
Бе considered in determining alimony. 
Tenner sought $1100 a month during 
divorce proceedings; the court gave her 
$500. The appeals court sided with her, 


RAW 


DATA 


FACT OF THE 

MONTH 
Pepperoni is the 
number one pizza 
topping. Each year, 
Americans eat about 
300 million pounds 
of the greasy red 
disks on pizza— 
adorning enough 
pies to cover 13,000 

football fields. 


QUOTE 

“He stands there 
groping himselfand 
he is 46 years old 
and he shouldn't be 
doing that. It disgusts me—but he 
tells me that the young kids like it.” — 
MIA TYLER, IGYEAR-OLD DAUGHTER OF 
AEROSMITH SINGER STEVEN TYLER, ON 
WHY SHE DISAPPROVES OF HER FATHER'S 
STAGE MOVES 


DOWNLOAD LOWDOWN 
Between October 1994 and Febru- 
ary 1995, number of times America 
Online subscribers downloaded im- 
ages of Lois & Clark's Teri Hatcher: 
12,555; number of downloads of Mad 
About You's Helen Hunt: 3671; of 
Madonna's latest album cover: 3211; 
of Nightline host Ted Koppel: 369. 


THE LONG AND SHORT OF IT 

Percentage of 1000 male respon- 
dents surveyed by Glamour who said 
they would prefer to be 52” with a 
seven-inch penis: 62; percentage who 
said they would prefer to be 62" with 
а three-inch penis: 36; percentage 
who admitted to having measured 
their penises: 55; percentage who re- 
fused to answer: 20. 


JAILBIRD JAM 
During the past 15 years, average 
number of inmates added each week 
to the nation's prison population: 
900; number of federal prisons in 
1982: 43; number of federal prisons 
in 1994: 77. 


THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING DOLE 
The average monthly payment in 
inflation-adjusted dollars to welfare 
families in 1970: $676; in 1993: $373. 


HUSKY APPETITES 

The number of 
pounds of caribou 
meat packed for ex- 
plorer Will Steger, 
five team members 
and three teams of 
sled dogs for the 
March 1995 start of 
a four-month trek 
across the Arctic: 
500; number of 
pounds of cheese: 
450; pounds of but- 
ter: 225; pounds of 
noodles: 200; pints 
of potato-leck soup 
and clam chowder: 
180; pounds of dog food: 10,000. Av- 
erage calories team members will 
burn each day: 5000. Anticipated av- 
erage weight loss for each team mem- 
ber: 9 pounds. 


MORMON CONQUEST 
Number of Mormons who were liv- 
ing in Mexico, Central America and 
South America їп 1980: 700,000. 

Number in 1993: 2.7 million. 


REMOTELY CONTROLLING 
In a survey conducted by Philips 
Consumer Electronics, percentage of 
men who would rather give up sex 
than their TV remote for one weck: 
9. Percentage of women who would 
make the same choice: 18. 


CRIMINAL ART COSTS 

Price paid in November for a 1978 
Andy Warhol portrait of O.]. Simp- 
son signed by the artist: $34,500. 
Price range for series of portraits of 
Tonya Harding by the artist Defor- 
restt: $5000 to $33.000. Price paid for 
painting of a clown by executed serial 
killer John Wayne Gacy: $20,000. 


READ BETWEEN THE COMMERCIALS 

Percentage of Americans who are 
functionally illiterate—i.e., unable to 
fill out a job application, follow writ- 
ten instructions or read a newspaper: 
9З; percentage of talk show guests 
deemed illiterate by a Penn State so- 
ciologist who recently studied 1000 
hours of Oprah. Donahue and Sally 
Jessy Raphael: 90. —LAURA BILLINGS 


ruling that her mental illness excused 
her affair, A dissenting opinion by Judge 
Anthony Wilhoit said of the ruling that 
the new standard for fault was “more in 
keeping with the psychobabble preva- 
lent on talk shows than with sound ju- 
risprudence.” Tenner's former husband 
has filed an appeal. 


THE 50-MINUTE COMMUTE 


Now, busy—and conflicted—execu- 
tives can commute and work on their 
psychotherapeutic issues at the same 
time. Drs. Ursula Strauss and Shelley 
Lennox pick up suburban New York ра- 
tients in a van. While they are chauf- 
feured into Manhattan, shrinks listen to 
their patients’ problems. Mobile Psycho- 
logical Services has 50 patients, six ther- 
apists and three drivers. A session of 
rolling insights costs $175. 


HIGH ROLLERS 


A federal court in California has deter- 
mined that more than 75 percent of all 
currency circulating in Los Angeles car- 
ries traces of cocaine or other illegal 
drugs. The Ninth Circuit Court of Ap- 
peals said that the prevalence of such 
drug-tainted paper money is so great 
that almost anyone in the city could at- 
tract the attention of drug-sniffing dogs, 
and it used the finding to dismiss a case 
against a man accused of transporting 
drug money. In contrast, narcotics spe- 
cialists said that only 15 percent of the 
bills in Bozeman, Montana have traces of 
drugs on them. 


12 STEPS TO DECAF 


We didn’t have to read tea leaves to 
figure out that the java express was 
heading for an inevitable crash—and 
where else but in the heart of coffee 
country? That's right, the first chapter of 
Caffeine Anonymous has thrown open 
its doors in Portland, Oregon. Since last 
spring, caffeine addicts have been admit- 
ting their powerlessness against demon 
joe. “When I drink coffee,” says one fe- 
male javaholic, “it’s just like drinking 
а cup of unhappiness.” That's quite a 
different tune from the early days of 
grunge and fresh roasts. 


ARMEY MANEUVERS 


Afier House Majority Leader Richard 
Armey referred to gay congressman. 
Barney Frank as Barney Fag, Roll Call 
assembled a list of congressional names 
that Armey shouldn't even attempt to ut- 
ter aloud: Norm Dicks, Daniel Akaka, 
Mike Crapo, Chris Cox, Jay Dickey, John 
Boehner, Mel Hancock, Harry Rei 
Dick Swett and Carlos Moorhead. Fi 
that matter, anyone named Dick Armey 
who hasa predilection for Freudian slips 
should be careful about how he intro- 
duces himself. 


sound, he realized 
"thing about this 
at this hour that 

ly quicksilver, 


boite filled 
dies could 
? zestful 
\utiful. 


M 


| ‘looking, in ag 


middie 


MOVIES 


By BRUCE WILLIAMSON 


NOTHING 15 what it seems to be in A Pure 
Formality (Sony Classics), a French-lan- 
guage drama written and directed by 
Giuseppe Tornatore, who made that 
marvelously Italian movie Cinema Par- 
adiso. This austere, unexpectedly cere- 
bral exercise co-stars Gérard Depardieu 
and Roman Polanski going head-to- 
head as a famous novelist and an im- 
placable small-town police inspector. 
There's been a mysterious death near 
the home of the writer, who is thrashing 
wildly through a rainstorm when he is 
taken into custody. He then becomes 
hostile, absentminded and evasive dur- 
ing the cat-and-mouse interrogation that 
continues all night. The surprise ending 
has been done on-screen a number of 
times, but Tornatore does it again with a 
stylish intensity only slightly diminished 
by the air of deja vu. ¥¥ 


An exuberant performance by Marisa 
‘Tomei provides much of the piz 
The Perez Family (Samuel Goldwyn). She 
plays Dottie, a free-spirited Cuban immi- 
grant who leaps off the boat from Ha- 
уапа to make waves in America. Dottie 
instantly latches on to a fellow traveler 
named Perez (Alfred Molina), who, after 
years as a prisoner of the Castro regime, 
hopes to find his wife and daughter 
somewhere in Miami. Anjelica Huston 
stretches her talents playing the lost 
wife, Carmela. Trini Alvarado as her 
daughter and Chazz Palminteri as a Mi- 
ami cop more than casually interested in 
Carmela's case add to the animated sup- 
porting cast. Directed by Indian-born 
Mira Nair (with the estimable Mississippi 
Masala to her credit) and adapted by 
Robin Swicord from a novel by Christine 
Bell, this amiable ensemble piece deals 
only superficially with the influx of 
Cuban refugees to Florida. But The Perez 
Family feels closer in spirit to Latin love 
songs than sociology, as a film with heart, 
soul and tempo. ¥¥¥ 


“Trendy drag queens on parade—from 
Mrs. Doubtfire to The Adventures of Priscil- 
la—may have paved the way for Wigstock: 
The Movie (Samuel Goldwyn). Call it a 
concert movie, call it high or low camp, 
it’s an annual New York event hailed by 
some partisans as the Super Bowl of 
drag. While thousands cheer, such cele- 
brated characters as RuPaul, Lypsinka, 
Alexis Arquette and Mistress Formika 
take the outdoor stage wearing sequins, 
heels and hairdos from hell. Their per- 
formances, largely prerecorded, range 


20 from supersmart to god-awful. Between 


Marisa Tomei: Cuban boat babe. 


Suspects on the spot, 
immigrants and militants on the beach 
and transvestites in full bloom. 


showbiz parodies, one enthusiast shouts, 
“It's in to be gay in the Nineties!” True 
or not, Wigstock is an unabashedly liber- 
ated sign of the times. WYı 


The intriguingly titled Love and Human 
Remains (Sony Classics) is the first Eng- 
lish-language feature by Canadian direc- 
tor Denys Arcand, whose two previous 
films in French (Jesus of Montreal and The 
Decline of the American Empire) won Oscar 
nominations. Brilliant as ever, Arcand 
retains all of his hip, witty timeliness and 
adds an edgy sense of danger to Brad 
Fraser’s shrewd adaptation of his own 
hit play. Performed to perfection by a lit- 
tle-known cast, Love and Human Remains 
examines some horny, screwed-up sin- 
gles at large in an urban jungle. Thomas 
Gibson, a Daniel Day-Lewis look-alike, 
plays David, a gay waiter and former TV 
sitcom star who prefers cruising to 
celebrity. His roommate Candy (Ruth 
Marshall) can’t find the right man, so she 
trades teasing sexual sweet talk with а 
vulnerable lesbian (Joanne Vannicola). 
Davi other friends include Benita 
(Mia Kirshner), a professional domina- 
trix, and handsome Bernie (Cameron 
Bancroft), an apparently uptight busi- 
nessman who turns out to be seething 
with dark secrets. This social study un- 
folds against the search for a serial killer 
in a nameless big city where everything 
seems to happen at night. Arcand's 


bright young misfits try desperately to 
act cool, pretending they're not afraid of 
the dark. ¥¥¥ 


According to Panther (Gramercy), the 
decade-long Black Panthers movement 
begun in 1966 was doomed by a conspir- 
acy between the FBI and organized 
mobsters to flood the black community 
with drugs. That's the interpretation ac- 
cepted by director Mario Van Peebles in 
a frankly fictionalized docudrama co- 
produced by his father, Melvin Van Pee- 
bles, who also wrote the lively scrcen- 
play. Balancing the portrayal of such 
noted activists as Bobby Seale (Courtney 
B. Vance), Huey Newton (Marcus 
Chong) and Eldridge Cleaver (Anthony 
Griffith), Kadeem Hardison appears as 
an invented character named Judge, re- 
стане by the FBI to inform but still 
a double agent loyal to the Panthers’ 
cause. While unreliable as history, the 
movie nonetheless packs a wallop of one- 
sided conviction. ¥¥¥ 


Mountains loom and chasms yawn in 
3-D during director Jean-Jacques (Quest 
for Fire) Annaud's Wings of Courage (Sony 
Classics). This 40-minute movie plays 
only in theaters equipped to show giant- 
screen Sony Imax and is the first feature 
to combine stars and a story with this 
state-of-the-art system. Val Kilmer, Tom 
Hulce and Graig Sheffer portray airline 
pioneers, with Sheffer as pilot Henri 
Guillaumet Aying solo across the Andes 
in 1930 to establish an airmail route be- 
tween Santiago and Buenos Aires. Eliza- 
beth McGovern plays Guillaumet's 
who panics when her husband's plane 
goes down in a snowstorm. Annaud's 
brief survival story is a test run—a peek 
into the future of movies with sweeping. 
special effects. Viewers must wear a 
headset to get really goggle-eyed on 
Imax. It is spectacular, indeed. But will it 
last, or go the way of earlier cinematic 
gimmickry that promised to make films 
better but merely made them bigger? 
We'll know more later. ¥¥/2 


Three boys and а girl come of age sex- 
ually and politically at a school in south- 
western France circa 1962. That's the 
story of director Andre Techine's Wild 
Reeds (Strand Releasing). Winner of four 
1994 Césars—for best picture, best di- 
rector and best screenplay in addition to 
actress Elodie Bouchez’ award as best 
young hopeful—such a mild human 
comedy would be a long shot as an also- 
ran in our Oscar sweepstakes. The 
French seem more tolerant of a slower 


The First Official Cesyette Collector Plate 


The Chevrolet Motor Division 
officially authorizes its first-ever 
collector plate celebrating America’s 
favorite sports car—the 1963 Corvette Sting Ray. 
'he 1963 Corvette Sting Ray. America’s dream machine. The 
sports car that stunned the automotive world with its 
revolutionary design and performance, 

Now, Chevrolet Motor Division officially authorizes their first- 
ever collector plate capturing the power and glory of this classic саг. 
Created by Don Wieland, celebrated illustrator and winner of 
numerous awards in the field of automotive art. In the tradition of 
the most prized collectibles, this imported heirloom collector plate is 
crafted of fine porcelain and lavished with breathtaking color. It is 
hand-numbered and bordered in 24 karat gold and bears the artists 
signature mark on its reverse side. 

Priced at just $29.95, this Limited Edition will be closed forever 
after just 45 firing days, Available exclusively from The Franklin 
Mint, Franklin Center, PA 19091-0001. 


The 1963 
Corvette Sting Ray 


Individually numbered 
by hand with 24 karat gold. 


Plate shown smaller than 
actual size of 8" (20.32 cm) in diameter. 


A Limited Edition Collector Plate. 
Hand-Numbered and Bordered in 24 Karat Gold. 
The Franklin Mine Please mail by July 31, 1995. 
nklin Center, РА 19091-0001 
Please enter my order for 


he 1963 Corvette Sting by Don Wieland. 


my plate is 


І need SEND NO MONEY NOW, J will b 
ent. Limit: one plate per colle 


ready tob 


CITYT _ 


TELEPHONE + ( — — — ` 


22 


Lundgren: day of the Dolph. 


OFF CAMERA 


Tall (675°), blond Dolph Lundgren, 
36, is a hunk with a head on his 
broad shoulders. Over breakfast at 
a hotel near his New York apart- 
ment, Lundgren shrugs at his 
screen image as a Scandinavian 
lug with more brawn than brains. 
In fact, he has a master’s degree in 
chemical engineering and won a 
Fulbright scholarship to continue 
studying at MIT. But in 1982, the 
movies beckoned. “My brother is 
in offshore drilling. I meant to go 
into petroleum engineering, regu- 
lating the oil flow at refineries. But 
I got involved with the singer 
Grace Jones and it suddenly 
dawned on me that being a chemi- 
cal engineer for the rest of my life 
might be too boring.” Through 
Jones, who tormented James 
Bond in A View to a Kill, Lundgren 
debuted in that film as “just a 
walk-on” and followed with his 
breakthrough role as the Russian 
boxer in Rocky IV. 

Now happily married for more 
than a year to Anette, a Swedish 
Lundgren has a sec- 
Stockholm and seri- 
for his film future. “Um 
ing to be an action hero 
like Stallone, Van Damme or 
Schwarzenegger.” He describes his 
role in the new film Johnny 
Mnemonic with Keanu Reeves аза | 
stretch. “I don’t think of myself as 
just kicking ass.” His next movies 
include an athletic epic titled Pen- 
tathlon, as well as The Shooter, a 
thriller in which he plays “a U.S. 
marshal who goes to Prague to ar- 
rest a female terrorist.” Lundgren 
was once a European karate cham- 
pion, and he's considering taking 
time out to be team leader of the 
U.S. pentathlon contingent at the 
1996 Olympic games in Atlanta. 
He also works with an offoff- 
Broadway theater group. “The ex- 
citing thing about show business is 
to go in new directions. I want to 
do things no one expects of me.” 


pace, and Wild Reeds is easygoing, sensi- 
tive and emotionally fine-tuned. 
Frangois (Gael Morel) is a boy on the 
verge of admitting he’s gay after some 
homosexual horsing around with Serge 
(Stephane Rideau), an uncomplicated 
country stud who simply likes sex. Serge 
also likes François’ friend Maite 
(Bouchez), but she has eyes for Henri 
(Frederic Gorny), an older student-radi- 
cal from Algeria who is stressed out by 
the Algerian war. Techine's rueful slice- 
of-life makes no major statement but de- 
livers some plain truth. ¥¥¥ 


Writer-director Maria Maggenti said it 
best in describing her own first feature: 
“The content is what's subversive, not 
the form.” That's a fine introduction to 
The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in 
Love (Fine Line). This buoyant nose- 
thumbing comedy concerns two attrac- 
tive high school seniors whose lesbian re- 
lationship disrupts the status quo at 
school and at home. Laurel Hollomon as 
Randy and Nicole Parker as Evie are the 
beleaguered couple. Their story actually 
has more to do with young love than 
with lesbianism, and they react to objec- 
tions similar to those any teenage couple 
might encounter by shacking up in a 
motel. Tivo Girls in Love shrugs off its po- 
tential shock value by emphatically say- 
ing yes to real romance, gay or straight, 
on the way 10 а sweet, somewhat corny 
climax that leaves all sexes in sync. ¥¥ 


The bad news is that Forget Paris (Co- 
lumbia) dusts off every cliche you might 
expect in a romantic comedy about two 
lovebirds who meet and mate in the City 
of Light. The good news is that Billy 
Crystal directs and stars in the film, 
which he also cleverly co-authored with 
his City Slickers collaborators, Lowell 
Ganz and Babaloo Mandel. Crystal's co- 
star is Debra Winger, and while they 
don't quite click, both are easy to like— 
especially when they're spouting hilari- 
ous dialogue about career conflicts, sex 
and Phantom of the Opera. She's an airline 
executive based in Paris; he's a profes- 
sional basketball referee. They meet, go 
to bed, break up, marry, argue, separate 
and try to procreate in a series of flash- 
backs. Each chapter in their stormy rela- 
tionship is introduced by three couples 
waiting at a restaurant to see if the tur- 
bulent twosome will show up together. 
Joe Mantegna, Cynthia Stevenson, Rich- 
ard Masur, Julie Kavner, John Spencer 
and Cathy Moriarty add sizzle as the gos- 
sipy sextet, with Charles Barkley, Ka- 
reem Abdul-Jabbar and Isiah Thomas 
giving Crystal back talk on the court. 
Saddled with a clumsy structure, Forget 
Paris still generates good vibes because a 
lot of itis laugh-out-loud funny. ¥¥¥ 


MOVIE SCORE CARD 


capsule close-ups of current films 
by bruce williamson 


Amateur (Reviewed 5/95) Sexy ex-nun 
meets amnesiac porn merchant. YY/ 
The Basketball Diaries (5/95) Hoop 
hopeful sidelined by a drug habit. ¥¥ 
Braveheart (6/95) As a historic Scot pa- 
triot, Mel Gibson stars, directs and 
gets it just about right. WI) 
Burnt by the Sun (6/95) A vibrant saga 
about Soviet Russia—and an Oscar 
winner as best foreign language 
film. УУУУ 
Crumb (6/95) Compelling documen- 
tary about a fine, funky artist from a 
dysfunctional family. УУУУ; 
Farinelli (5/95) Hitting all the high 
notes with the world’s most famous 


castrato. Wy 
Forget Paris (See review) Marriage on 
the rocks, deftly Crystalized. YYY 


The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls 
in Love (See review) Again, lesbian 
comedy leaves the closet Уу 
Jefferson т Paris (6/95) Nolte as Tom 
does a slow, stylish stint abroad. ¥¥¥ 
Kiss of Death (5/95) Lively remake with 
Cage and Caruso. we 
Love and Human Remains (See review) 
Kinky young singles at large. УУУ, 
Muriel’s Wedding (4/95) Hilarious high 
jinks about an unpopular girl who 
just wants to get married. yyy 
My Family (6/95) Through the years 
with Chicano immigrant Wh 
Panther (See review) Militant black 
cats as an endangered species. ¥¥¥ 
The Perez Family (See review) Cuban 
boat people make hay in Miami. УУУ 
Picture Bride (6/95) A man, a woman 
and a love match in old Hawaii. УУУ 
The Postman (6/95) Poet meets peasant 
ina poignant Italian comedy. ¥¥¥/ 
Priest (5/95) Gay, tormented man of 
God gets hot under the collar. ¥¥¥¥ 
A Pure Formality (Sec review) Two stars 
collide in a cerebral О & A. YY 
Red Firecracker, Green Firecracker (6/95) 
Scenic Chinese view of an explosive 
forbidden love. yyy 
Search and Destroy (6/95) Dark deeds 
involving would-be moviemakers. YY 
Swimming With Sharks (5/95) Kevin 
Spacey saves it as a Hollywood preda- 
tor who smells blood. Wh 
The Underneath (5/95) A born loser 
finds he can't go home again. ¥¥¥ 
Wigstock: The Movie (See review) Camp- 
town races, with drag queens on pa- 


rade, and then some. Wh 
Wild Reeds (See review) The young 
and restless in Sixties France. ww 


gs of Courage (Sec review) High, 
le and handsome 3-D eyeful. ¥¥/: 


¥¥ Worth a look 
Y Forget it 


YYYY Don't miss 
YYY Good show 


VIDEO 


ШАШ 


[— —— | "This always gets 
people in trouble,” 
says George Lucas 
when asked to name 
his favorite flicks. 
“Once you say it, it 
all becomes history.” 
Still, the movie mogul 
and special-effects 

wizard buckled down and gave us a short 

list of classics, all worthy of rewind on the 

VCR: Citizen Kane, Seven Samurai, A Hard 

Day's Night, Dr. Strangelove, Battleship 

Potemkin and The Bridge on the River 

Kwai. “They're all emotionally powerful 

movies," Lucas explains. “| like comedies, too, 

but when I think about the films | want to 
see over and over again, they're not usual- 
ly the funny ones. Except Dr. Strangelove. 

Now, that’s funny.” SUSAN KARLIN 


VIDEO IDIOTS 


If there's anything to learn from Jim 
Carrey, it's that men will be morons— 
and audiences will flock to see them. 

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994): Already 
dumb before he got dumber, Jim Carrey 
squeezes big laughs out of the 007 genre, 
porpoises and, memorably, his own butt. 
Infantilism at its breeziest. 

Pee-wee's Big Adventure (1985): Before he 
had a hand in his own demise, Paul 
Reubens chased his stolen bicycle 
through this zany road movie, with Tim 
Burton at the helm and Danny Elfman's 
score as slaphappy as the larger-than-life 
scenario. A keeper. 

The Disorderly Orderly (1964): Lewis split 
from Martin in 1956, but the break 
didn’t de-dumb him. Set in a nursing 
home, this entry is typical Jerrified fum- 
bling, bumbling and stumbling—just the 
way the French like it. 

The Strong Man (1926): Baby-faced bun- 
gler Harry Langdon fends off toughs 
and temptresses under the big top in this 
silent gem. Unlike most screen dopes, 
Langdon is reactive rather than active— 
but just as funny. 

Being There (1979): Peter Sellers drew 
raves as a dim gardener whose small talk 
about weeds and TV is mistaken for po- 
litical sagacity. Jerzy Kosinski's screen- 
play is pretty smart. —DAVID LEFKOWITZ 


MUSES OF MOUSSE 


In Immorial Beloved (scc Mood Meter), 
Gary Oldman's swept-back tresses and 
arched eyebrow help him portray Bee- 
thoven as a well-groomed lover. It's not 
the first time—actors who play com- 
posers usually hit the right notes when 


their coifs are in the proper key, Check 
out these other musical poufs: 

DIRK BOGARDE: Too-hip-for-the-times 
hairdo makes Bogarde's Franz Liszt look 
more like a 19th century Hungarian 
rockabilly star in Song Without End 
(1960). Also note those mod sideburns as 
he tries to lay a latte on Capucinc. 
RICHARD BURTON: He is the very image 
of Richard Wagner's scowling bust in 
the five-hour Brit saga Wagner (1983). 
Speaking of busts, Vanessa Redgrave (in 
a Wonderbra?) doesn’t seem to mind 
Dick's slatternly hair one bit. 

HUGH GRANT: As mop-topped Frédéric 
Chopin, Grant is given to silly stovepipe 
hats to cover his lackluster locks in /m- 
promptu (1991). At least he's better than 
Julian Sands, whose Liszt sports Ойу 
blond tresses parted in the middle. 

TOM HULCE: Curly powdered wigs were 
all the rage when Mozart reigned. In 
Amadeus (1984), a goofy and giggling 
Hulce makes the case as to why the wigs 
went out with the harpsichord. 

cary GRANT: His slick Wildroot pom- 
padour looks about the same as it always 
does in Night and Day (1946), a biopic of 
Cole Porter. But, hey, he's Cary Grant. 
ROGER DALTREY: The Who singer Nails his 
heavy metal mane (and undulates to 
beat the band) as a sex-addicted Liszt in 
director Ken Russell's acid-trippy Liszto- 
mania (1975). —BUZZ MCCLAIN 


LASER FARE 


Lumivision puts its customary special in- 
terest in special interest discs on hold 


VIDEO YUKS 
OF THE MONTH 


Old meets new—and 
two burlesque masters 
meet one sitcom whin- 
er—in Abbott and 
Costello Meet Jerry 
Seinfeld (MCA/Univer- 
sal), a 46-minute trib- 
ute to comedy's leg- 
endary duo. Seinfeld hosts the trip back. 
through A&C's lives and careers, featuring 
the duo's home movies, behind-the scenes 
peeks and, natch, "Who's on First?" 


this month by re-pressing the theatrical 
feature A Taxing Woman. The winner of 
nine Japanese Academy Awards, the 
1987 farce tracks a female tax inspector's 
obsession with—and efforts to bust—the 
owner of a Tokyo “love hotel.” The 
movie was directed by Juzo Itami and 
stars Nobuko Miyamoto and Tsutomu 
Yamazaki (Jampopo, The Funeral), whom 
some consider Japan's Tracy and Hep- 
burn. . . . Sensory Overload of the 
Month: side six of Voyager's gorgeous 
Criterion Collection edition of The Red 
Shoes (1948). As Brian Easdale’s score 
backs a montage of sketches for the 
flick's ballet sequence (drawn up by film- 
makers Michael Powell and Emeric 
Pressburger), on the analog track, Jere- 
my Irons reads from Hans Christian An- 
dersen’s original fairy tale. Whew. 
—GREGORY Р FAGAN 


| STYLE 


SHIP TO SHORE HOT SHOPPING: NEWPORT 


To get top-notch performance from your outerwear, try a Throughout July this alluring, mansion-filled Rhode Island 
nautically inspired jacket. Columbia Sportswear's hooded resort town hosts international tennis competitions, sailing re- 
Ibex siyle wil keep sou dry, thanks to heavy duty waterproof gattas and music fes- 

olyvinyl chloride nylon. Its also functional, with a visor on __tivals. The proper at- 
hi ee Eines Севан | CLOTHES LINE 
the zipper. Tommy Hilfigers be found in some of ИЛИИ ИИ 
yellow rain jacket with details the following shops. | ЛЫКЛЫ AM d 


such as a “ТН” sailing insignia Water Bros. (39 i 
on the sleeve, a drawstring Memorial Blvd): Mili ror 


hood and clasp closures is High-energy threads irlfri 

SG EAGT ES aE O E NOM ME 
ous nautical wear is the sole ing, plus under- ТЕ 
business of Team One New- ground tapes and VENE E р 
port. Its Musto Coastal Jacket CDs. e Army & траге Иек to 
(pictured here) is made of a Navy Surplus Store CS NY WEDS 


heavy-coated nylon, with a (262 Thames St.): 
roll-down, fleece-lined hood The best place for 
and reflective stripes. Dash’s authentic peacoats 
zip-front shell in 100 percent and fied jackets. ® 
rib-stop nylon is water-repel- Island Sports (86 A 
lent. And at Nautica, style and Aquidneck Ave.): ns 
marine inspiration are synony- Rents bikes and sail- from London Fog. For 
mous. Its Catamaran poplin boards and sells ath- И 
parka has five pockets, a hood leticand windsurfing И Сами Мел Ыше деапь а 
and а drawstring waist. Prices threads. Christian Dior blue blazer with gold 
range from $25 for the nylon Gangsters (375 т ONIS 
shell by Dash to $229 for the Thames St): Comfy EPA eine near trier anne nn] 
Musto Coastal Jacket. men’s fashions, such cap touts his new movie, Usual Sus- 
as linen pants and pects, and was designed by the 


unconstructed її со-в!аг, Stephen Baldwin. 
blazers. 


twosome travels to 


Napa Valley, it’s not 
for wine tasting but 
for outlet shopping. A 


ECO-COMFORT 


Sticklers for natural fabrics will be glad to know that 
mother earth still has a few surprises left. One of them, 
an organic fiber called Tencel, is made from the cellu- 
lose in wood pulp. Touted as the hot new fiber of 
the Nineties, Tencel is showing up in every- 
thing from suits to sport and dress shirts. 
But it’s scoring especially big in jeanswear, 
attracting top designers such as Giorgio 
Armani, who uses itin his A/X line of five- 
pocket jeans. Why? Because Tencel has 
the soft feel of silk, the absorbency of 
cotton and the durability of polyester. 
Though similar to rayon, Tencel is typical- 
ly machine-washable and biodegradable. 
Try a pair of traditional five-pocket 

jeans made with Tencel and cotton by 
Redford or a self-belted relaxed pair by 
Genius Jeans. For casual pants, check out the 
Tencel-and-cotton pair by Reunion Menswear. 
Wallace Muroya has a great-looking dress 
shirt with a tab collar in a Tencel-and- 
linen blend, or, for a sportier look, 
there's Joop Jeans’ Тепсе! camp shirt. 


NO-SWEAT SUN CARE 


If your skin itches at the mere thought of ap- 
plying a thick, waterproof sunscreen, you'll be 
glad to know that manufacturers have improved 
their formulas. No longer loaded with irritating 
chemicals, new sweatproof and wetproof sun 
protection products are lightweight, emol- 
lient—and highly recommended by derma- 
tologists. A few formulas to consider include 
Aramis’ oil- and fragrance-free Lab Series 
Sun Protection Spray SPF 15, which is 
easy to apply and promises at least 80 
minutes of sun protection even after 
swimming or vigorous exercise. Cop- 
pertone Sport, an SPF 30 waterproof lotion, 
smells great, dries quickly and keeps you covered 
all day, as do Neutrogena’s SPF 15 and SPF 30 
sunblocks. Finally, the SPF 8 Weatherproof Sun 
Lotion and SPF 15 Sun Block from Polo Sport by ; 
Ralph Lauren contain skin-soothing aloe as well i 
as an antioxidant vitamin E derivative. 


GOLFWEAR 


Subtle prints and jacquards; textured knit fab- 
rics; soft collars; neutral browns and blues 


Soft, brushed fabrics; long shorts; 
pleats; neutral colors 


Baseball-style caps; wind- and water- 
resistant outerwear; sweater vests 


Bold, bright graphic 
‚short, bicep-hug 


SHIRTS 


Preppie plaid pants; blindingly bright 


BOTTOMS colors; short shorts; warm-up pants 


Plostic visors; synthetic sweaters; anything 
that screams “I just played golf” 


ACCESSORIES 


24 


Where & How to Buy on page 159. 


\ MAN’S GUIDE DIAMONDS 


She’s expecting DIAMONDS. 
Dor WRN TO We CAM ely. 


The way to а man’s heart is through his stomach, 
but the way to a woman’s usually involves a 
jeweler. Just think of golf clubs, or season 
tickets wrapped in a little black velvet box. 
"That's how women feel about diamonds. 

Го know diamonds ts to know her. Find out 
what she has her heart set on. Is it a pendant, 
anniversary band, or ear studs? You can find 
out by browsing with her, window shopping, 
watching her reactions to other women’s jewelry. 
Go by body language, not just by what she 
says. Then, once you know the style, you can 
concentrate on the diamond. 

Like people, no two diamonds are alike. 
Formed in the earth millions of years ago 
and found in the most remote corners of the 
world, rough diamonds are sorted by DeBeers’ 
experts into over 5,000 grades before they go 
on to be cut and polished. So be aware of what 
you are buying. Two diamonds of the same 
size may vary widely in quality. And if a price 
looks too good to be true, it probably is. 
Maybe a jeweler is a man’s best friend. You want a diamond you can be proud of. So don't be attracted 
то a jeweler because of “bargain prices. Find someone you can trust. Ask questions. Ask friends who've 
gone through it. Ask the jeweler you choose why two diamonds that look the same are priced differently. 
You want someone who will help you determine quality and value using four characteristics called The #05. 
They are: Cus, not the same as shape, but refers to the way the facets or flat surfaces are angled. A better 
cut offers more brilliance; Co/or actually, close to no color is rarest; Clarity, the fewer natural marks or 
"inclusions" the better, Carat weight, the larger the diamond, usually the more rare. Remember, the more 
you know, the more confident you can be in buying a diamond you'll always be proud of. 

Learn more. For the booklet “How to buy diamonds you'll he proud to give? call the American Gem Society, 

representing fine jewelers upholding gemological standards across the U.S., at 800-340-3028. 

Compromise now? Where's your heart? Со for diamonds beyond her wildest dreams. Go for something 
that reflects how you really feel. You want nothing less than a diamond as unique as your love. Not to 
mention as beautiful as that totally perplexing creature who will wear it. 


Diamond Information Center 
Sponsored by DeBeers Consolidated Mines, Ltd., Est. 1888. 
A diamond is forever. 


25 


17 Cf Sii  Somerse Са. New York NY 


Bo. 07:6 Grain Neural Spiri 


How refreshingly distinctive. 


28 


WIRED 


ROAD WARRIORS 


The latest car security devices won't pre- 
vent someone from breaking into your 
vehicle, but they make it difficult for a 
thief to drive it away. The Logic Lock 
from Security Logics ($159), for exam- 
ple, disables a vehicle's ignition, starter 
and fuel pump using a key fitted with a 
computer chip. You insert the key into a 
small receptacle inside the car, sending 
one of more than 4 billion random codes 
to a hidden control module that verifies 
the disarming code and programs the 
next one. No key, no code, no go. The 
Wizard Plus (about $400 installed) from 
Winner International disables the same 
vital circuits, but it arms and disarms via 
a 2"x1" encoder chip that continuously 
emits a radio signal. Approach within 30 


feet of the yehicle and a receiver mount- 
ed inside the engine picks up the signal 
and disarms the system. Walk away and 
the system automatically arms again. If 
you are into James Bond-type gizmos, 
check out the Smoke Defense Machine 
from US Technology Source. Formerly 
known as the Dragon, its perimeter sen- 
sor detects an intrusion, and if the vehi- 
de is further disturbed, a separate 
shock sensor fills the car's cabin with 
nontoxic, odorless white smoke that 
is intended to keep the thief from 
driving away. The price: about 
$500 installed. 


CYBERFLICKS 


Hollywood has a dozen or so computer- 
related films in the works. Two sched- 
uled for release this summer are Tri- 
Star's Johnny Mnemonic and Paramount's 
Virtuosity. In the first, Keanu Reeves 
plays a courier with a computer chip in 
his head. The second pits Denzel Wash- 
ington against a computer-generated vil- 
Jain. In The Net, a Columbia film, Sandra 
Bullock snoops in the wrong computer 
file and gets caught up in a murder plot. 
Top Gun producers Don Simpson and 
Jerry Bruckheimer are preparing /2/ for 
Disney, about a serial killer who hunts 
victims online, Also in development is 


User Hostile, a low-budget action film 
about а couple on the run who get help 
from their cyberspace buddies. Also, get 
ready for an updated Cyrano de Bergerac. 
In this version, de Bergerac woos the 
woman—you guessed it—online. Now 
all we need in the system is the Hacker 
with the Heart of Gold. 


MULTIPLE PC 
PERSONALITIES 


Is ita computer? ATV? A 
telephone? Chances are, 
it’s all three. In fact, now 
that computer manufac- 
turers are making a big 
push into the home mar- 
ket, they're coming up 
with all kinds of innova- 
tive ways to maximize 
their systems’ uses. To 
save space on the desk- 
top, Packard Bell and Compaq have 
developed all-in-one multimedia com- 
puters that combine a 14-inch color 
monitor, a hard drive and a quad-speed 
CD-ROM drive in a single unit. Com- 
paq's Presario (about $2000) features a 
television tuner for watching broadcast 
or cable TV, plus a speakerphone and an 
answering machine. Packard Bell's Spec- 
ийа (about $1400) lias telev and ап 


swering machine capabilities, too, and 
the Macintosh Performa 638CD (about 
$2000) doubles as а ТУ. Acer America 
has gone in a more decorative direction. 
Its new Acer Acros IBM-compatible PCs 
are black, giving them a cool look that 
coordinates well with other home enter- 
tainment appliances. Appearances 


the Acer Acros PCs are powerful. You 
can choose among three minitower ma- 
chines equipped with eight to 16 mega- 
bytes of RAM, Pentium processors (in 
75- and 100-megahertz configurations) 
anda 1.2 gigabyte hard drive, plus either 
a 14.4 or 28.8 data-fax modem, a quad- 
speed CD-ROM drive and more than 
$1000 worth of preinstalled multimedia 
software. The prices: $2000 to $2800. 


Motorola's innovative Gold Line Professional Pager (pictured here in actual size) re- 
sembles a classic fountain pen and is loaded with impressive features. In addition to a 
12-digit back-lit numeric display, the Gold Line has simple two-button operations and 
‘announces incoming pages with either с musical chime or Motorola's exclusive Vibra- 
Page silent vibrating alert system. When not presenting messages, the pager displays 
the time and соп be programmed to sound an alarm. The price: $229. ® Does the 
shrunken keyboard on your notebook computer have you typing all kinds of 
crazy character combinations? Then check out IBM's latest Think- 
pads, the 701C and 701CS ($3B00 to $5600). These four- 
pound 486 notebook computers feature Big Blue’s 
new Track Write keyboard, which expands 
to the size of a standard desktop 
model. That means you get 
85 full-size keys, 
spaced 


just the way 
they are on your office 
machine. The 701C/CS Think- 
pods also come with an integrated 
14.4 dota-fax modem, two PCMCIA card slots 
and infrared technology that allows you to transfer 
files from your notebook computer to your desktop PC without 
cables or wires. ® Motorola has introduced the first two personal 
digital assistants with wireless communications capabilities. The Envoy, based 

on General Magic's Magic Cap software, costs between $1000 and $1500, depend- 
ing on the package you choose, and the Marco, a PDA that uses Apple’s Newton tech- 
nology, is similorly priced. The latter does require handwriting recognition, but Apple 
has improved the function considerably since the Newton debuted two years ago 


MULTIMEDIA 
REVIEWS & NEWS 


ON CD-ROM 
Hey kids, do you like to rock and roll? 
Then check out Vid Grid, an interactive 
CD-ROM that turns music videos by 
Aerosmith, Jimi Hendrix and Red Hot 
Chili Peppers into addictive moving puz- 
zles. Each of Vid Grid's five levels re- 
quires you to reassemble nine full-motion 
videos, which have been jumbled into as 
many as 36 blocks. Some of the puzzles 
are easy to solve. With Peter Gabriel's 
Sledgehammer video, Юг example, you 
use his face as а guide. But with quick- 
cut titles such as Spoonman by Soundgar- 
den, the rapid-fire footage means you 
can tackle the puzzle а half dozen times 
before you get it right. Fortunately, it’s a 


CYBER SCOOP 


L/ Prodigy recently became the first 
‘= commercial online service to offer 
multimedia electronic mail. Cur- 
rently avoiloble only to PC users, 
this service allows subscribers to 
‚create mail thot contains text, dig- 
itol photos (processed on floppy 
disk by a company called Seotilo 
Film Works) and sound clips. 


J” Compuserve has even bigger 
< plans. Its Worlds Awoy project, a 
collaboration with Fujitsu Limited, 
is an animated online service thot 
will lounch later this summer. Two 
former Lucasfilm staffers leod the 
design team. For details check out 
Fujistu's Cultural Technologies 
Web page at hitp://www.worlds 
awoy.ossi-com. 


good song, and the puzzle changes each 
time you play, so it’s never monotonous. 
Persistence pays: When your score is re- 
ally good (the faster you solve the vid 
grids, the more points you rack up), 
you're treated to a hidden puzzle of Nir- 
vana’s Smells Like Teen Spirit. For those 
who prefer mellower 
tunes, there’s Country 
Vid Grid, with videos 
by Reba McEntire, 
Vince Gill and Tracy 
Byrd. (By Jasmine 
Multimedia for Win- 
dows, about $50 
each.) 


Virgin Interactive 
Entertainment offers 
two excellent science 
fiction CD-ROM 
games. Creature Shock is a full-screen, 3-D, 
animated title set in the distant future. 
As a reconnaissance pilot, you are 
charged with locating a United Nations 
spacecraft that has been incommunicado 


Correre kicks alien butt 


since it passed Saturn's outer moons a 
decade ago. To get to the craft you have 
to shoot your way through a solar system 
of space debris and alien aircraft. Once 
there. you learn why the crew members 
have been so quiet: They're all dead, 
courtesy ofa shipload of badass invaders 
that you have to annihilate to win the 
game. But watch your back. Grotesque 
creatures such as the Metamorph, the 
Crawler and the Eye Monster seem to 
come out of nowhere to swallow you 
whole or shear your flesh from the bone. 
(For DOS, about $70.) 


Killer aliens also are the enemy in Vir- 
gin's impressive Daedalus Encounter, an ac- 
tion adventure that combines 3-D ani- 
mation and the best-looking full-motion 
video we've seen on CD-ROM—and not 
just because it stars Tia Carrere of 
Wayne's World. Daedalus is groundbreak- 
ing thanks to production methods that 
seamlessly blend video and animation. 
In one sequence, for example, the actors 
wear animated space suits that have 
been illustrated around video footage of 
their faces. In the wrong hands, this ef- 
fect could look cheesy. But Virgin pulls it 
off so well that we found ourselves star- 
ing at the computer screen in a “How 
did they do that?” daze. Likewise, we 
cringed when a pack of computer-ren- 
dered batlike aliens attacked Carrere's 
neck. These visual stunts, combined with 
arcade-style action, strategic puzzles and 
multiple plot twists, make Daedalus one 
of the hottest games of the year. (For 
Mac, Windows and 3DO, about $70.) 


Mix interactive articles with music and 
computer game reviews, toss in samples 
of songs by artists as diverse as Digable 
Planets and Ween, add a dash of fashion 
advice and a lot of humor, and what do 
you get? Blender, a bimonthly pop-cul- 
ture digital magazine with the frenetic 
pace of МТУ. Now in its second issue, 
Blender is in no danger of a sophomore 
slump. Features on topics such as mod- 
ern love, graffiti art and the reality оЃас- 
cessing the president online are sharply 
written and accented 
with vibrant graph- 
ics and entertain- 
ing man-on-the- 
street-style deo 
dips. Blenders cre- 
ators are into music: 
Isue number two 
features video inter- 
views with the mem- 
bers of Veruca Salt 
and Deee-Lite's La- 
dy Miss Kier and has 
you shopping for bi- 
cycles with the Gigolo Aunts, responding 
to Barry White's romance quiz and 
watching Tori Amos, Salt-N-Pepa and 
Betty Serveert answer questions on love 
and lust in the Nineties. But our favorite 


Blender ingredients are the silly ones 
There are Refrigerator Johnny, а soap- 
opera comic about a Gen X slacker; Bi 
er Billy Cooks With Fire, featuring a 77 
Top look-alike who shares culinary ad- 
vice and spicy recipes; and horoscopes 
by guest astrologers. They Might Be Gi- 


Creature Shacker 


ants were a hoot in the first issue. This 
time, Spot, an animated wonder dog, 
barks the astrological predictions while 
you read along. (By Dennis Publ 
for Mac and Windows, $19.95 per issue, 
or $49.95 for five.) 


ONLINE 

You can win cars, trips or even Hawaiian 
milkcaps by entering contests on the 
World Wide Web. Here are a few give- 
aways that you can check out. CD-a-Day 
(http://www.seattle.ivi.com/ivi/cd-a- 
day.html): Net-surfers who correctly an- 
swer IVI Publishing's daily question 
qualify to win any CD-ROM in IVI's 
library. e Sooter's Home Photo Gallery 
(hitp://www.mbnet.mb.ca:80/flatland/soo 
ter/): Take a picture, post it here and a 
cash prize could be yours. € Book Web 
Contest (http://www.ambook.org/book 
web/contest/): Win $50 gift certificates to 
bookstores nationwide by successfully 
completing this monthly challenge. 
(When we checked in, we were asked 
which of seven listed author tours was 
fake. It wasn't easy.) ® Doppler's DTVi 
game (http://giant.mindlink.net/dtv/game. 
html): Name the monthly mystery word 
and win computer paraphernalia. 


DIGITAL DUDS 


On the Right: Political cortoons by 
Jim Berry do little to enliven this dull 
disk-based calendar and planner. 


Interactive Sailing: Bad grophics 
induce seo D-ROM sickness in this 
otherwise ambitious ottempt to 
teach sailing skills by computer. 


Yes Active: Just soy no to this poor 
excuse for a rock CD-ROM—un- 
less, of course, you want to use the 
cool Technicolor disc as a cooster. 


WHERE & HOW TO BUY ON PAGE 158. 


29 


By KEVIN COOK 


WHATS ON the radio tonight? Melissa 
Etheridge, Counting Crows, some 
mouth-breathing sports talker calling 
from his car, maybe a wry ode to navel 
lint on NPR. Yawn, But wait—here's a 
midget kleptomaniac in drag. Here's a 
mud-wrestling voyeur and a guy who 
swears his penis is square. Here’s José, 
who wants to blow up his balls, and 
Steve, a long-distance ejaculator. Here's 
a sexpert taking stock of “the vaginal 
barrel” after you've spent years looking 
for the trigger. It's sex talk radio, riding. 
bare-butt to rescue America’s ears from 
the same old ditto—radio designed to 
keep you and the ratings up all night. 

Erin Somers: “For making that old penis 
taste a little better, Sarah, go to the grocery 
and get one of those plastic honey bears. Put 
that honey right on your man. It's gonna make 
everything sweeter —— 

Sarah: Hee-hee. 

Somers: Regarding the taste of semen, there. 
is nothing wrong with spitting ош. That's 
our choice, and remember that as a woman, 
Sarah! 

Somers, radio's late-night succubus of 
the South, has the only show that leaves 
a wet spot on the dial. The host of Passion 
Phones straddles a fine line between in- 
formation and raunch six nights a week 
on Miami’s WIOD, dispensing tips on 
everything from toe-licking to giving 
head. When she took over a “relation- 
shippy” call-in show 18 months ago, the 
ratings were barely measurable. Somers 
spurred interest with tales of her own 
sex life, including premarital stripteases 
and “plenty of oral sex, which I love to 
give and receive.” Permissive but safely 
suburban (“1 personally am not into rim- 
), she doesn't mind featuring stuff 
like “snowballing,” in which a woman 
fellates a man and then kisses him, pass- 
ing his semen into his mouth. It then 
goes back and forth until somebody calls 
the ski patrol. "It's a yoyeuristic show,” 
she admits. Today her husband can't 
bear to listen, but the show is a hit and 
Somers can't wait to get to the studio. 
“With HIV, the religious right, psycho 
men and psycho women, this is the most 
screwed-up time ever for sex,” she says. 
But it's the perfect time for eargasms. 

Dr. Ruth Westheimer pioneered sex 
talk radio 15 years ago, but Dr. Ruth 
never purred Somers-style about her 
own sexual stylings. This is sex shock ra- 
dio, and with sports talk waning, it's the 
new game in Florida, New York, Atlanta, 
New Orleans and even Salt Lake City, 
where chubby orgasmatron Donna 
Sparks Williams hosts a nooner called 
Naked Lunch. Porn star Scka hosts an au- 
ral sex show on Chicago's WLUP. “A lot 


30 of talk stations are looking for a younger, 


Eargasms: The new tend in aural sex. 


Sex talk 
radio heats up 
the airwaves. 


hipper audience, and they're going to 
sex talk,” says industry watcher Randall 
Bloomquist. who writes for the trade 
publication Radio & Records. “Then there 
are the music stations looking to make 
inroads into talk radio. They're doing 
it, too.” 

Eargasms are a good fit for a time 
when talking about sex is safer and more 
socially correct than doing it. Don't tell 
Newt, but while conservative epochs 
such as the Fifties and mid-Nineties may 
chill sexual activity, they always spawn a 
corresponding burst of secondhand 
thrills. 

It’s Loveline, it’s your bleeping time. 

"That jingle introduces the best sex 
chatter of all. Loveline on KROQ has 
been Los Angeles’ number one nij 
time show of the Nineties. It stars nice 
guy Dr. Drew Pinsky and a tattooed, 
spike-haired, nose-pierced punk named 
Riki Rachtman, former host of МТУ” 
Headbangers Ball. Celeb guests run the 
gamut from Debbie Gibson to Ice-T, but 
the hosts make the show go. Dr. Pinsky, 
one of the few radio docs who's a real 
M.D., steadies loose cannon Rachtman, 
who spends airtime guzzling coffee and 
tossing a rubber fish at the control 
board, trying to knock the station off the 
air. Both give heartfelt advice to their 
mostly young callers. “People don't 
know who the hell they can talk to. We're 
their friends," Rachtman says. "You get 
facts from Drew and the street-level 
truth from me.” The other night Racht- 


man corrected the doctor: “Drew, 
there's nothing weird about a four-foot 
shoplifting transvestite!” But, like Pin- 
sky, he is serious about the life-breaking 
trouble some callers face, including such 
subjects as AIDS or deciding at the age 
of 15 whether to get an abortion. “Any- 
body can talk about fucking. We shock 
because we talk about what's real,” he 
explains. Co-host Pinsky worries quietly 
about competition from "dirty talk 
shows” that offer only titillation. Racht- 
man, who does nothing quietly, snarls at 
competitors. “I know they're out there,” 
he says, “and they all suck.” 

John, the mud-urestling voyeur: I like 
mud-wrestling porno tapes. I got my two girl- 
friends to fight, and I taped it. 

Dr. Judy Kuriansky: You have a problem 
getting close to people. Take a painting class 
ога music class, meet somebody and go to the 
movies and hold hands. 

Dr. Kuriansky is sex talk queen in 
Gotham. Her Love Phones on Z-100FM is 
a blatant knockoff of Loveline. Along with 
rock-and-roll guests and a loudmouth 
sidekick, Kuriansky spouts Cosmo-style 
counsel, urging angry men to "remem- 
ber the big C—cuddling.” This is a sex- 
pert whose press kit calls her “downright 
cool!” and who advises upright honesty 
and caring even to a caller who says he 
raped his cat. But Love Phones’ hang-up 
isn't just Kuriansky's nasal keening or 
the fact that everybody talks at once. It's 
that Kuriansky stayed on and Aero- 
smith's Steven Tyler left after his stint as 
honorary love doctor. Tyler bopped into 
the studio singing, “If men bled, would 
tampons be free?” He warned against 
the “numbness and derailment” you get 
from rubbing cocaine on your penis be- 
fore sex. He praised his wife, conceded 
he has sex only twice a week, recounted 
the real-life tale behind Love in an Eleva- 
tor and told a smitten female fan, “As 
long as I have a face, you have a place 
to sit.” 

Here's Tyler advising caller Steve, the 
long-distance ejaculator: 

LDE: My problem is my girlfriend likes me 
to release come all over her. And the come 
comes out in such large amounts that one time 
it went into her eye. Now I'm scared to do it. 

Tyler: Hmmm. Did she say the experience 
for her was not fun? Did it not get her off? 

LDE: It did, but I thought something dan- 
gerous would happen —— 

Dler: Like what? A baby growin’ out of her 

lid? 


LDE: I thought she'd go blind. 

Dler: Well, did she? 

LDE: No, but she couldn't see for three 
days. 

Dler: Safety goggles! 

No pro therapist could therapize bet- 
ter than that. Except maybe to suggest a 
wet suit, too. 


Satisfying taste 
and lower tar. 
You make the call. 


SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Cigarette Ч Su 
Smoke Contains Carbon Monoxide. 


perc 
— : by ETC method. 
— D Br, 
„= ; " a 
> —. p 


ROCK 


PORTISHEAD'S Dummy (Go Discs/London) 
is dark, sexy and soulful. It was a word- 
of-mouth hit before the band became an 
MTV favorite. Coming out of Bristol, 
England, vocalist Beth Gibbons, key- 
boardist Geoff Barrow and guitarist 
Adrian Utley create a blend of brittle 
techno ambience, dusty hip-hop samples 
and plaintive melodies. 

Gibbons has a small, cool voice that 
keeps optimism at arm's length. On Л 
Could Be Sweet, Sour Times and the al- 
bum's most enticing cut, Wandering Siar, 
she sing-talks her way through a mini- 
тайы landscape. Affirmation and joy 
have no home on this album. Portishead 
is easy listening for those who always 
wear black. —NELSON GEORGE 


Tribute albums are usually as enjoy- 
able as a rubber-chicken dinner. Encomi- 
um: A Tribute to Led Zeppelin (Atlantic) is a 
delightful exception. It's faithful to the 
band’s spirit and original enough to 
make it just plain fun. Most Zep songs 
were built around great riffs. Helmet, 
with Jesus Lizard’s David Yow on vocals, 
tosses Custard Pie in your face with fero- 
cious lunacy. The Rollins Band drags 
Four Sticks, bristling with angst, attitude 
and a thunderous beat. into the Nineties. 
But the real kick comes from hearing 
bands you never thought had it in them 
pull out the stops. Stone Temple Pilots" 
semiacoustic reading of Dancing Days is a 
revelation. Grammy queen Sheryl Crow 
breathes edgy passion into the Fifties 
camp of D'yer Mak'er. And 4 Non 
Blondes’ over-the-top rendition of Misty 
Mountain Hop is pure bliss. Even Blind 
Melon and Big Head Todd come 
through. Of course, Zep could deliver 
pomp as well as circumstance, as is un- 
fortunately represented here with 
mawkish efforts by Duran Duran, Never 
the Bride and Tori Amos. Program your 
CD player accordingly, 

Slash's Snakepit's it’s Five O'Clock Some- 
where (Geffen) is the record many hoped 
Guns п' Roses would make after their 
raging debut. Instead, we got the bloat- 
ed excess of Use Your Illusion. Here, Slash 
plays Keith sans Mick, redeeming his 
hard-rock credentials with some ambi- 
tious but not overblown songs. Eric Do- 
ver delivers Ах! Rose's intensity without 
the histrionics. —VIC GARBARINI 


Rock and roll gocs through cycles of 
dressing up and dressing down. Various 
popsters and hair bands dominated 
MTV in the Eighties. Then, with the ar- 
rival of grunge, everybody had to dress 
down. Can it be time again to dress up? 
If so. I hope it’s the Voluptuous Horror 
of Karen Black setting the trend. Led 


32 by vocalist Kembra Pfahler and guitarist 


Portishead is по Dummy. 


Dark thoughts from 
Portishead and РЈ. Harvey 
and a tribute to Led Zep. 


Samoa, VHKB draws inspiration from 
the great soul revues of the late Sixties 
and from glam-horror acts such as Alice 
Cooper. In VHKB's club act, Pfahler 
paints her teeth black and her body blue 
and cavorts with oddly costumed 
dancers. Unlike GWAR, VHKB doesn't 
suck musically, On Voluptuous Horror's 
second album, The Anti-Naturalists (Triple 
X), Samoa plays metallic riffs in an accu- 
rate but slashing style that achieves the 
desired raucousness without hiding be- 
hind a wash of noise. Pfahler howls and 
grumps hilariously about traditional fe- 
male roles, sounding like a rougher ver- 
sion of the Shangri-Las. Halloween 
every night—it's an idea whose time has 
come again. —CHARLES М. YOUNG 


I haven't thought much of PJ. Har- 
vey's previous three albums, but To Bring 
You My Love (Island) proves that was a 
mistake. At her best, as on Meet Ze Mon- 
sta and Стоп Billy, Polly Jean Harvey 
sings with as much conviction, heart and 
power as Patti Smith (though without 
Smith’s gift for the telling line). The 
dirty, distorted, minimal music that 
drives the title track creates a 
scary cnough to qualify аз роп 
er times, as on Working for the Man, she 
combines this sinister quality with a se- 
ductive false innocence. If she mumbled 
a little less, she would probably be irre- 
ible. Harvey is a tough, literate 
woman trying desperately, and with 
some success, to get a grip on her sexu- 


ality. Unfortunately, Harvey also some- 
times tries to sing like a diva. In the stu- 
pefying first verse and chorus of Teclo, 
this effort brings truly dire results: Annie 
Lennox, Lisa Stansfield or Patti Labelle 
she ain't. Such archmannerism killed 
English rock. It would certainly be 
a shame to lose such a gifted artist to 
pretension. 

Ofall the songwriters of the pre-Dylan 
era, Doc Pomus maintained his credibili- 
ty and enthusiasm the longest. This trib- 
ute to Pomus, Till the Night Is Gone (For- 
ward/Rhino)—which contains many 
good performances and a couple of 
great ones—accords him his due. The 
great ones are Dylan's Boogie Woogie 
Country Girl and Dion's Turn Me Loose. 
The good ones come from performers 
such as Rosanne Cash, the Band, B.B. 
King, Los Lobos, Shawn Colvin and 
John Hiatt. 

On Steve Winwood's four-CD collec- 
tion The Finer Things (Island Chronicles), 
the slow, sad deterioration of blue-eyed 
soul into the hackwork of modern adult 
pop is lovingly traced. With the Spencer 
Davis Group, Traffic and even Blind 
Faith, Winwood cmerged as England's 
answer to Little Stevie Wonder. He still 
finds attractive paths between blues and 
folk, but, unfortunately, in his solo ca- 
reer Winwood grinds out junk like Roll 
With It with all the sheen of an Armani 
model, —DAVE MARSH 


R&B 


Once or twice a year, British dance 
music presents an act that outsiders can 
relate to, usually a beat-master combo 
such as Soul II Soul, Saint Etienne, 
Stereolab, M People or Portishead. 
Tricky, coming out of the loose collective 
that spawned Massive Attack, leaves 
most of the singing to a young woman 
named Alison Goldfrapp and saves his 
best tricks for the mix. His debut album, 
Maxinquaye (Island), maintains a funky, 
slow groove that owes much to dub, am- 
bient techno, low-fi and several strains of 
hip-hop. On Hour of Chaos Goldfrapp's 
unlikely take on Public Enemy's Black 
Steel should get your attention. So 
should the racy Abbaon Fat Track. 

Part disco and house, part funk-reg- 
gae, the all-techno Dance Hits U.K. (Moon- 
shine Music) is another way to get to 
British dance music, track by catchy 
track. — ROBERT CHRISTGAU 


Adina Howard has an interesting 
voice, but her record company markets 
her derriere. The visuals for her debut, 
Do You Wanne Ride? (East West), are of her 
е. The songs play off this 
h You Got Me Humpin'. 


FAST TRACKS 


STYLE CHAT DEPARTMENT: Little Richard 
stars in a major exhibit at the Rock- 
and-Roll Hall of Fame. He'll give a 
guided tour of four decades of rock- 
and-roll fashion in 12 minutes. Film- 
maker Ethan Russell said, “We're go- 
ing to Gump him.” That means when 
visitors see a Tina Turner dress or the 
Beatles’ Sgt. Pepper suits, Little Richard 
will be there—even showing Elvis how 
10 dance. 

REELING AND ROCKING: Bad Boys, the 
comedy starring mith and Martin 
Lawrence, has songs by Babyface, War- 
ren G, Inner Circle and Da Brat on the 
soundtrack. ... The soundtrack for To 
Wong Foo With Love, Julie Newmar will 
likely include a Labelle reunion, Ma- 
donna, Cyndi Lauper, TLC and Mary J. 
Blige. . . . The Duke of Groove, starring 
Uma Thurman, Keifer Sutherland and 
Kate Capshaw, is the story of a Seven- 
ties party at which a young boy finds 
himself with Janis Joplin. It will air on 
Showtime. . . . Rosanna Arquette is film- 
inga TV pilot for Fox TV titled Daisy 
and Chess, in which she plays a single 
mother and former groupie. 

NEWSBREAKS: A new Lenny Kravitz al- 
bum will be out in September and 
he'll tour after that. ... Lollapalooza 
'95 has its own Internet site. There 
will be weekly interactive press con- 
ferences and artists will be able to talk 
with the media. . . . Vince Gill's annual 
golf tournament, the Vinny, is taking 
place right about now in Tennessee. 
Professionals, amateurs and celebri- 
Чез are playing and Gill will per- 
form. . . . Quincy Jones’ next album will 
have Babyface, Queen Latifah and Tevin 
Campbell among the guest perform- 
ers. . . . Check out the Blues Stuff 
catalog, a mail-order marketplace of 
memorabilia, collectibles and other 
stuff including videos, T-shirts, lapel 


pins and framed original blues 78s. 
Call 800-sLues-11 or fax 415-898- 
3647. . . . Jim Beam's Third Annual 
Country Music Talent Search is on 
until August 10. Country bands and 
musicians can request an entry form 
from Jim Beam Talent Search, РО. 
Box 5016, Ronks, PA 17573. Last 
year’s winner is on the verge of sign- 
ing a record deal. . . . The live acoustic 
album that Heort recorded last sum- 
mer with John Poul Jones producing 
just came out. Jones joined Heart on 
piano, bass and mandolin. Take that, 
Jimmy and Robert. All-4-One is half 
finished with the follow-up to its 
smash debut album. The band is wait- 
ing for some busy celebrity songwrit- 
ers and producers to find the studio 
time. . . . The Chinese government 
made Roxette change its lyrics to suit 
Beijing. “Making love to you” became 
“making up to you.” According to 
Rock & Rap Confidential, a country that 
has more people than any other 
ought to have “made its peace with 
getting a piece”. . . . Rock & Rap also 
reports that San Antonio Spurs bad 
boy Dennis Rodman went to see Pearl 
Jam in Seattle and has been sporting 
its T-shirt during interviews. . . . The 
archives of the famed radio show The 
King Biscuit Flower Hour have been 
bought by a record label of the same 
name. This treasure includes 450 
artists and 1000 performances. The 
first releases have hit the record 
stores and include America, Kingfish 
(featuring Bob Weir), Deep Purple, 10сс 
and Canned Heat, with many more to 
follow. . . . A forthcoming Mervin Gaye 
tribute album will include a duet with 
Bono and cuts by Speech, Lisa Stansfield 
and daughter Nona Gaye. A TV special 
will coincide with the LP's release. 

— BARBARA NELLIS 


While it’s hard to tell whether Howard 
wants a Grammy or a photo spread, her 
ballad You Don't Have to Cry suggests 
there’s more to her voice than all this 
silliness. — NELSON GEORGE 


FOLK 


At 48, John Prine is one of those guys 
who haven't lost a step. He's not espe- 
cially prolific—tost Dogs & Mixed Blessings 
(Oh Boy, 33 Music Square West, Suite 
102A, Nashville, TN 37203) is only his 
third album in a decade—but he rarely 
writes a foolish line. And although Prine 
is a folkie, nobody is more adept at pin. 
ning down the day-to-day details of ordi- 
nary, fucked-up lives. He's warm, he's 
sharp, he’s funny, he’s weird, and his 
latest release is varied and consistent 
enough to outsell his 1991 album, The 
Missing Years. See for yourself. 

— ROBERT CHRISTGAU 


‘The border music of Texas combines 
the polka rhythms of German immi- 
grants with Mexican folk melodies. On 
Frontejos (Rounder) Tish Hinojosa sings 
this especially joyous music with such 
verve that you'll be happy through alll 12 
cuts, even the sad songs. 

As much a guitar hero as a singer, 
Chris Smither tinges his folk music with 
the blues and takes you to a haunted 
place in your soul on Up on the Lowdown 
(Hightone). If you like pensive, this is 


just about as good as it gets. 


— CHARLES М. YOUNG 


COUNTRY 


Oklahoma-born desperado Ray Wylie 
Hubbard wrote the Jerry Jeff Walker hit 
Up Against the Wall, Redneck Mother, 
which became the anthem for the Texas 
outlaw movement of the early Seventies. 
Hubbard says that song became his jack- 
et and he had to wear it. But Hubbard’s 
Loco Gringo’s Lament (Deja Disc) is a coat of 
a different color, a down-to-earth repre- 
sentation of the detailed folk idiom in 
which he was raised. Now lifted from a 
Texas honky-tonk fog at the age of 48, 
Hubbard presents a dozen songs of spir- 
itual deliverance and measured opti- 
mism. The breakthrough track is The 
Messenger. A disciple of Ramblin’ Jack El- 
liott and Woody Guthrie, Hubbard finds 
his phrasing in spacious arrangements 
of cello, dobro, slide and acoustic guitar. 
One of the evergreen tracks is the sweet- 
ly subtle Love Never Dies, but the record’s 
most provocative turn comes in Wanna 
Rock and Roll, a hard-driving story about 
sex and sin framed by his empathetic vo- 
cals and Terry Ware's sizzling bottleneck 
guitar. Like Billy Joe Shaver and Mickey 
Newbury before him, Ray Wylie Hub- 
bard is waiting to be rediscovered. Loco 
Gringo is a pleasure for old and new fans 
alike. —DAVE HOEKSTRA 


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Ву DIGBY DIEHL 


ELMORE LEONARD has the best ear for dia- 
logue in the crime-writing biz. What his 
fans often miss, however, is how artfully 
he builds plot, drama, character and 
emotional texture through the easy, 
amusing banter in his novels. In Riding 
the Rap (Delacorte) he gives enough sinis- 
ter edge to the chatter among the bum- 
bling bad guys that you never forget 
they're dangerous, even while you laugh 
at their antics. Adding a softer element 
to the story, he insinuates sweet sceds of 
romance into the suspicious exchanges 
between 26-year-old Reverend Dawn 
Navarro—'certified medium and spiri- 
tualist”—and crusty middle-aged federal 
marshal Raylan Givens. 

In this noyel, retired Miami bookie 
Harry Arno hires Bobby Deo, a Puerto 
Rican bounty hunter, to collect $16,500 
in gambling debts from а charming 
flake, Warren “Chip” Ganz III. Howev- 
er, when Bobby arrives at Chip's beach 
house in moneyed Manalapan, he finds 
Louis Lewis, a Bahamian who was in 
state prison with Bobby. The two join 
Ghip in a scheme to kidnap Harry, with 
the assistance of Reverend Dawn, and to 
hold him hostage for a large chunk of 
his ill-gotten retirement fund. It’s their 
bad luck that relentless lawman Givens 
comes looking for Harry. The incompe- 
tent kidnappers become frantic as Givens 
zeros in and their get-rich-quick scheme 
unravels. Under Leonard's control, Rid- 
ing the Rap glides to a conclusion both vi- 
olent and funny. 

Leonard is inspired by the seemingly 
infinite varieties of Florida lowlife. His 
crime-writing colleague Robert Parker 
sticks with Spenser and the detective's 
witty inamorata, Susan (and his partner, 
Hawk). This trio stays fresh by discov- 
ering a different crime venue in the 
Boston area for each new novel. The lat- 
est, Thin Air (Putnam), takes Spenser to 
the crumbling Hispanic mill town of 
Proctor, Massachusetts. There, a local 
drug syndicate leader has kidnapped a 
former girlfriend, Lisa St. Claire, who 
has recently married a cop. Searching 
for clues to her whereabouts, Spenser 
digs into Lisa's past and discovers that 
she was once a hooker. 

Parker has an impressive ability to 
take readers into unfamiliar territory— 
in this instance, the Hispanic under- 
world—and illuminate it in a few short, 
powerful scenes. He gives Spenser a 
Spanish-speaking sidekick, Chollo, for 
this adventure and guides him through 
an investigation of the social milieu at 
Club del Aguadillano, encounters with 
the local cops and the parish priest and 
some chats with the town jefe. He juxta- 


36 poses scenes of Spenser circling for the 


Leonard's Riding the Rap. 


Florida lowlife, bumbling 
bad guys, raunchy sex 
and great mysteries. 


kill with terrified monologs from Lisa, 
who is waiting to be rescued. The climax, 
in which Spenser and Chollo storm the 
drug lord's bunker, is full of action, sus- 
pense and thrills that provide a satisfy- 
ing finish to Parker’s 22nd book in the 
Spenser series. 

Also this month, three noteworthy 
novels by relative newcomers to crime 
fiction: The Edge of the Crazies (Hyperion) 
by Jamie Harrison, Strangers at the Gate 
(Random House) by Leonard Gross and 
The Plan (Morrow) by Stephen Cannell. 
When Hollywood types mix with local 
eccentrics in Blue Deer, Montana, there 
are plenty of suspects for sheriff Jules 
Clement to consider for a series of mur- 
ders. Harrison keeps us laughing and 
guessing whodunit. Gross, a former for- 
cign correspondent for Look magazine, 
examines the rapid growth of the Hong 
Kong Triad in San Francisco in a fast- 
paced thriller about a TV reporter at- 
tacked by Chinese thugs. Cannell, an 
Emmy-winning TV writer and producer, 
proves he can spin out a thriller with the 
best of them in this story about a clever 
Mafia conspiracy to putits own politician 
in the White House. 

If nothing else, Heidi Matison's Му 
League Stripper (Arcade) will increase the 
number of male applicants to Brown 
University. This is the true story of a stu- 
dent who couldn't make her tuition bill 
by waiting tables and cleaning houses. 
She began stripping at the Foxy Lady, a 
men's dub near the Brown campus, and 


quickly became a hot attraction. She 
meditates on the incongruities of her 
double life, the Brown code of political 
correctness, her parents' shock and her 
ethical qualms. But the most entertain- 
ing and informative portions of this live- 
ly confessional are her commentaries on 
the action in the dub and on the life 
backstage. She dissects the psychology of 
stripper and ogler with titillating insight 
and provides an honest and thoughtful 
look at the business of sexual fantasy. 
Topping From Below (St. Martin's) is a 
new novel by Laura Reese that tackles 
the subject of sexual obsession. Its pow- 
erful erotic undertow immediately pulls 
the reader into sensuously described 
sadomasochistic rituals and the related 


$ obsessions of murder, sisterhood and 


love. Franny Tibbs is discovered dead in 
her apartment with duct tape across her 
mouth and around the limbs of her 
nude body. Marks on her body indicate 
that she was tortured before she died. 
Her sister Nora is convinced that Fran- 
пу'з sadistic lover, Michael, is the mur- 
derer. She subjects herself to his sexual 
games of degradation and pain in order 
to find the evidence to convict him. 
Gradually, she discovers that she likes 
S&M and that she is falling in love with 
Michael. Topping From Below has a com- 
pelling plot intertwined with steamy 
scenes. When's the last time you read 
raunchy sex and a good mystery in the 
same book? 


BOOK BAG 


The Sex Revolts: Gender, Rebellion and Rock 
and Roll (Harvard University), by Simon 
Reynolds and Joy Press: Alongside the 
story of male-warrior rock, this blend 
of music criticism and cultural studies 
traces the history of female rebellion in 
rock, from Janis to the Slits. 

Bootleg: The Secret History of the Other 
Recording Industry (St. Martin's), by Clin- 
ton Heylin: In 1969 a collection of unre- 
leased recordings by Bob Dylan—culled 
from home sessions and Woodstock— 
appeared in a small cluster of indepen- 
dent Los Angeles record stores. This was 
the first rock bootleg, and it spawned the 
multimillion-dollar industry that contin- 
ves to thrive today. 

The Slightly Older Guy (Simon & Schus- 
ter), by Bruce Jay Friedman: One of our 
funniest novelists offers a comic guide to 
those years of chin fat, prostate trouble, 
baldness and snickering feminists. 

Permanent Midnight: A Memoir (Warner), 
by Jerry Stahl: A vivid, agonizing tale of 
drug addiction by a man choking on his 
own laughter. This should be required 
reading in high schools because, in spite 
of the yuks, it’s not funny at all. 


I t was a tough job, but somebody had 
to do it. Last week, I talked with 
every divorced father in America. Boy, 
am I tired . . . and you should see my 
phone bill! 

I was conducting the first national 
Beatdead Dads poll. The results were as- 
tounding. Forget the image of the angry 
divorced father. Such а person does not 
exist. My Beatdead Dads poll proves 
that divorced noncustodial fathers live in 
a state of perpetual bliss. 

It turns out that those of us who have 
lost our kids in custody cases and have 
been assigned hefty and ever-increasing 
child support payments actually love the 
legal system in which we find ourselves 
entrapped. Yes, it’s true. Scratch a di- 
vorced dad and you'll find a happy 
camper. 

Consider these startling statistics: 

(1) Fully 100 percent of the fathers 
polled agree with the statement that “It 
15 totally fair and just that, in some nine 
out of ten divorces, sole custody of the 
children is awarded to the mother.” 

Ronald Lysenko of Caratunk, Maine 
spoke for all divorced fathers when he 
said, “Those numbers may seem unbal- 
anced, but you would have to be para- 
noid to assume that custody laws are ap- 
plied to fathers unfairly. I lost custody of 
my children, and 1 deserved it. Even 
though my ex-wife is a test pilot for 
NASA during the day and a bouncer at a 
topless bar at night, she has the time to 
raise our 16 children properly. How 
could I, a poor man, hope to match her 
nurturing abilities? I am not worthy, 
which is why, even though she earns 
three times as much as I do, I pay for 
most of the kids’ expenses. It is my way 
of apologizing for being a man.” 

(2) An incredible 101 percent of all di- 
vorced dads agree with the statement 
that “Marcia Clark, the lead prosecutor 
in the O.J. Simpson case, should be able 
to buy as many business outfits as she 
needs with her ex-husband's child sup- 
port money—and if it's not enough, she 
should be permitted to get more bucks 
from him.” 

Myron Mincemold of Coyote, Utah 
said it best: “Marcia Clark makes a paltry 
$96,000 a year. She is obviously another 
oppressed woman in a corrupt patriar- 
chal society. Assuming that Clark’s busi- 
ness clothing (including shoes) costs 
about $500 per outfit, her annual sal- 


By ASA BABER 


THE BEATDEAD 
DADS POLL 


ary could buy her only 192 complete 
changes of clothes. But there are 365 
days in a year. What is this victimized 
and persecuted woman supposed to do 
for the other 173 days? Wear the same 
clothes more than once? Clearly, Clark 
needs another $96,000 from her ex-hus- 
band so she can dress professionally 
year-round. I send my child support, as 
ordered by the court, directly to my ex- 
wife's charge account at Saks. And I do it 
happily, because a well-dressed mom is а 
great thing to behold.” 

(3) An amazing 102 percent of the 
men polled agree that “It is irrelevant 
that the General Accounting Office has 
determined that some 14 percent of the 
fathers who supposedly owe child sup- 
port are dead, and approximately 66 
percent of fathers who owe child sup- 
port cannot afford to pay the amount or- 
dered. It is also irrelevant that when fa- 
thers receive visitation privileges, almost 
80 percent pay their full child support, 
and when fathers receive joint custody, 
more than 90 percent of them pay full 
child support. Those numbers are purc- 
ly coincidental, and there is absolutely 
no connection between treating fathers 
fairly and having them cooperate with 
the system.” 

Gregory Sanskrit of Megargel, Ala- 


bama summarized it this way: “I am 


most offended by those dead fathers who 
don't pay child support. I believe they 
should be included in the statistics about 
deadbeat dads. What are those stu 
corpses doing with their money, апу 
Spending it on beer and licentious wom- 
en? It's tragic. Men, even when they are 
dead and buried, are pigs.” 

(4) Acool 104 percent of the divorced 
fathers interviewed agree with the prop- 
osition that “No matter the reason, if a 
father is delinquent in his child support 
payments, the authorities should jail 
him, attach his assets, garnishee his 
wages, suspend his driver’s license (and 
all other professional licenses), intercept 
his state and federal tax refunds, charge 
him for both his ex-wife's and his own le- 
gal fees and brand his forehead with the 
word DEADBEAT. If, on the other hand, 
the mother denies the father his legally 
assigned time with his children, if she 
spends his child support money on her- 
self instead of on the kids and if she 
harasses her ex-husband with excessive 
legal actions and false charges, the au- 
thorities should leave her alone. Be- 
cause, after all. motherhood is sacred.” 

Barney Bindleshaft of Fort Dick, Texas 
speaks for all of us when he says, “I am 
sick of hearing any suggestions that, in 
practice, the awarding of child support is 
basically an arbitrary income tax on di- 
vorced fathers. So what if divorced dads 
find their kids unfairly taken from them 
and then have to pay for that privilege? 
Or that a divorced dad often pays mon- 
ey to a person who does not have to ac- 
count for the expenditures of that money 
and who may not spend it on the chil- 
dren? Fathers don't give a damn what 
happens to their kids, so why should 
they care where the money goes? Take it 
like a man. Pay up and shut up, I say.” 

(5) A phenomenal 200 percent of the 
fathers I spoke with in the Beatdead 
Dads poll approved of current custody 
and child support laws and practices. To 
aman, there were no complaints. 

Let Russell Fwimp of Gibson City, Illi- 
nois wrap it up: “I love the fact that the 
government can discontinue my paren- 
tal status and then tax me for it. It re- 
minds me of my sunny days in the Sovi- 
et Union. And as any man will tell you, 
there's nothing like a police state to 
bring joy and light to a guy's life.” 


37 


THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR 


И love giving my boyfriend blow jobs, 
and he enjoys getting them. The trouble 
is, I want him to crave them! Do you 
have any suggestions for fine-tuning my 
technique? I've always imagined being 
so good that he would greet me at the 
door one day after work, weak with de- 
sire, begging me to suck him off.—C.T., 
Rapid City, South Dakota. 

The next time you go down on your 
boyfriend, prop his head on a pillow to make 
sure he can see what you're doing. Tell him 
how hot he is, how much you love sucking 
him and how hard and beautiful he is. Let 
him know that you're in no hurry. With his 
erection in your mouth, begin to hum softly 
(the warmth of your breath and the vibrations 
on his cock will drive him crazy with desire). 
At that point, we'd be happy as clams, but 
were easy. Dr. Judy Kurianshy, author of 
“Generation Sex,” offers a description of the 
classic В] that had us fidgeting in our seats: 
“Start licking at the tip, gently. Circle your 
tongue around the head, and then slide the 
head into your mouth. Create suction and 
roll your tongue around the head, lingering 
on the frenulum (the underside of the tip 
where the ridge meets the shaft). There’s no 
need 10 bob your head up and down. Slip 
your mouth over the tip and run your moist- 
ened lips up and down the sides of the shaft 
uf the penis (while yuu caress the heul with 
your hand) and return to slipping the head 
inside your mouth. Lower your mouth far- 
ther down on his erection each time. Or close 
your lips around the head, licking the frenu- 
lum, and grasp the shaft with one or both 
hands to give him the sensation of being in- 
side you.” There will be a test in the morn- 
ing, class, so please prepare. 


Lovemaking with my husband was an 
icy affair for years. He was always warm 
and 1 was always cold. One night T put 
ona mohair sweater to keep warm. Dur- 
ing our lovemaking I noticed that my 
husband snuggled in and couldn't keep 
his hands off me. I've found that the 
more I pile on, the better. One time 1 
wore mohair over a bra and garter, and I 
also knitted a nightie out of angora yarn. 
My husband says he loves touching the 
thick clothing, then digging underneath 
it to caress me. I've noticed in the mean- 
time that other men are very touch-ori- 
ented too. Wear a thick, fuzzy sweater 
to the office one day and watch how 
many men strike up a conversation with 
you, eventually patting you on the shoul- 
der or touching you innocently in some 
way.—R.A., Portland, Oregon. 

You've discovered a sexual secret that the 
Eskimo people have knoum for centuries: The 
warmest part of a woman is under her coat. 
It's no surprise that the contrast between the 
layers of thick, fuzzy nightclothes and the 


smooth, soft woman underneath drives your 
guy wild—it appeals to his sense of mystery. 
The erotic power of touch is often overlooked 
in the rush to intercourse. Many couples find 
that concentrated kinesthesia creates a sense 
of trust and relaxation that spills over into 
the relationship. Your creativity tickles our 
fancy. Ihe only downside 15 that you always 
know what you're getting for Christmas. 


IM, 33-year-old boyfriend sometimes 
has trouble getting it up. He's the pic- 
ture of mental health, and neither of us 
thinks the problem relates to issues in 
our relationship. He's physically fit, too, 
except that he has high cholesterol—268 
at his last check. Could there be an erec- 
tion-cholesterol connection?—J.U., Fort 
Dodge, Iowa. 

Possibly. In a study of 3250 men reported 
in the ‘American Journal of Epidemiology,” 
researchers found that the higher a subjects 
cholesterol, the more likely he was to report 
problems getting and maintaining an erec- 
tion. Those with cholesterol levels above 240 
were nearly twice as likely to report erection 
problems as men who had lower levels (180 
milligrams per deciliter of blood or less). 
Other studies have shown that high levels of 
fatty acids impair blood flow into the penis 
and interfere with the muscles involved in 
erections. One more reason for men to reduce 
the cholesterol and fat in their diets. 


A vidco store derk told me to play 
stored videos at least once a ycar to keep 
them from deteriorating. I'm skeptical. 
Is that a good way to preserve video?— 
S.E., Chicago, Illinois. 

Despite what some manufacturers would 
have you believe, video is not forever. (No 
doubt Tonya Harding will be relieved to hear. 


ILLUSTRATION BY PATER SATO 


that.) Chances are that the video you made 
last winter in Rio or your prized copy of 
“Sodomania 9” will lose its luster after five 
or ten years, even with better-than-average 
storage conditions. You can still try to pre- 
serve the tapes for as long as possible. Re- 
winding, fast-forwarding or playing your 
tapes through completely at least once every 
one to three years can help prevent defor- 
mation, expansion, contraction or stickiness 
caused by temperature changes, dustand hu- 
midity. Videophiles recommend backing up 
analog tapes every five years, and many ea- 
gerly await the first digital videocassettes, 
which will allow duplication without loss of 
picture or sound quality (they're expected to 
hit the market next year). Besides airing 
your tapes regularly, store them vertically 
‘and completely rewound to avoid warping 
and bleed-through. 


V own а lot of leather furniture and 
dothing, each with a slightly different 
recommendation on cleaning and care. 
Rather than buying a closetful of prod- 
ucts, is there a simple way to clean all my 
leather stuff?—PP, Atlanta, Georgia. 

Because leather comes in several grades 
and many textures, you need to be careful not 
to stray far from the cleaning advice on the 
labels. In general, you can use a sofi, dry 
cloth to wipe away dust and dirt on апу 
leather. If the grime is more serious than 
that, you need to determine if the leather has 
been treated with a protective sealant (in 
most cases, it will have a polished look). Pro- 
tected leathers should be able to withstand a 
warm water wipe-down and air-dry. Unpro- 
tected leather, which is softer and darkens 
more easily when it comes in contact with the 
oil on your skin, presents more of a chal- 
lenge. The color of the suede or leather is 
likely to change when cleaned, so be sure to 
color-test first. 


M, girlfriend enjoys sunbathing top- 
less on our patio, but we have a nosy 
neighbor who has complained to the 
manager of our condo complex. We 
were asked to respect the local laws 
against indecent exposure, even though 
our neighbor had to stand on a chair to 
see over the fence (she was pruning a 
tree). What are our rights? I can under- 
stand the concern if my girlfriend were 
walking down the street topless, but this 
seems more of an invasion of our priva 
cy than of our neighbor's.—M.C., Hunt- 
ington Beach, California, 

In our book, if you have a fence that blocks 
the sight line of passersby, your exposure 
shouldn't be considered indecent unless you 
are on a trampoline. That interpretation 
may not jibe with the real estate or municipal 
codes in Huntington Beach, however. Call a 


lawyer and ask how far your right to privacy 39 


PLAYBOY 


40 


extends beyond your bedroom door. Many 
cities and states have so-called Peeping Tom 
laws that could penalize your neighbor for 
not keeping her 
rather attempt a compromise, give your con- 
do manager a time when your girlfriend 
won't sunbathe—before noon, say, or after 
six P.M.—and ask him or her to pass it on. 
That way your neighbor can trim her tree 
without being overcome with indignation. If 
all else fails, build a higher fence. 


IM, wife loves to have her nipples fon- 
dled. She can't get enough of my licking, 
massaging and pinching. She even likes 
having them buzzed with a vibrator. I'd 
like ю give her a new nipple thrill, but 
Гуе run out of ideas.—J.H., Worcester, 
Massachusetts. 

How about nipple clamps? Once confined 
to the world of SEM, these titillating devices 
have gone mainstream in the past few years. 
They resemble alligator clips but now have 
vinyl-coated tips so they pinch but don’t bite. 
The best clamps are also adjustable so you 
can regulate the pressure. One model even 
attaches to a vibrator. When Good Vibra- 
tions, the San Francisco sex boutique, began 
carrying nipple clamps, they flew out the 
door, says owner Cathy Winks, who co-wrote 
“The Good Vibrations Guide io Sex.” She 
advises positioning them behind the tips of 
the nipples so they stay on comfortably. 


Ё just bought a subwoofer to enhance 
the bass response of my stereo. 1 asked 
two salesmen about where to place it. 
One suggested a corner, the other said 
that that would make the sound boomy. 
What do you recommend?—T.G., Chi- 
cago, Illinois. 

Despite what you've heard, the best loca- 
tion may be the corner behind your favorite 
chair. ү the bass sounds boomy, tune the lev- 
el on your subwoofer You can also move the 
box away from the wall or out of the corner 
in small measures until the sound approach- 
es the smooth, deep bass you're after. 


They say that clothes make the man, 
but are women influenced by the car 
you're driving when you make that cru- 
cial first impression? One of my friends 
drives a station wagon but still seems to 
have a lot of dates, while my new BMW 
hasn't changed my love life much at all. 
Should I trade it in for a Pinto?—PE., 
Austin, Texas. 

Keep the BMW. In a recent survey of 708 
Americans, three times as many women as 
men said they had accepted or declined a 
date because of the car the other person 
drove (though that amounted to just 7.5 per- 
cent of the total number of women surveyed). 
A University of Michigan study of the sex 
habits of 10,000 people in 37 cultures of- 
fered some clues as to why: Researchers con- 
cluded that while men are more likely to con- 
sider a woman's. physical features, women 
are more interested in whether the guy is go- 
ing places. An expensive car says he is, and 


that he can take her along. What nobody has 
asked is how many of the women who chose 
their men by their wheels go out on a second 
date. Rather than bringing out the garage 
trophy, we prefer to rely on our charisma and 
charm to handle the curves. 


МУ college roommate has a habit of 
masturbating in his bed on the bottom 
bunk when he thinks I'm asleep, and the 
shaking drives me crazy. 1 can't really tell 
him to stop without humiliating him, 
and I have tried jokingly to tell him to 
use the bathroom, with no results. How 
can I get him to take his habit to a p: 
vate place without embarrassing him?— 
B.M., College Station, Texas. 

Where do you masturbate? Suggest he go 
there. As you've discovered, college life pre- 
sents а challenge for students and their sexu- 
ality. Privacy is at a premium. Take ри 
Your roommate would prefer not to have to 
masturbate with you in the room, but his op- 
tions are limited if you don’t keep regular 
hours and he has trouble guessing when you 
might burst in. Better to know where you are, 
keep the shaking to a minimum and take the 
chance that you'll be awake and annoyed. 
Let him know when you're going to be gone 
for any extended period so that he can use 
the time for some private moments. Whether 
they involve masturbation isn't any of your 
business, unless he's using your socks. In re- 
turn, you can ask him to provide the same 
courtesy for you. Sharing space involves 
knowing more about a persons habits than 
you want to. If that's а problem, find а room- 
mate who enjoys a hot shower before he hits 
the sach. 


И was caught speeding on my motorcy- 
cle by a cop who used a handheld radar 
gun, I wonder how reliable a radar gun 
is on a bike's smaller size and moving 
parts. Can I make the case that the gun 
wasn't accurate because I was on а Наг- 
ley?—T.A., Los Angeles, California. 

Not unless you get a judge who belongs to 
Hell’s Angels or cruises the coast on week- 
ends. The courts have seen so many speeding 
cases based on radar readings that judges 
aren't usually receptive to argumentis about 
technological snafus. And the smaller size of 
your bike won't keep an officer from getting 
an accurate reading—he aims at your li- 
cense plate or some other fixed, reflective sur- 
face. Your case may depend on how much 
traffic there was when you were pulled over. 
Unlike newer speed guns that use pinpoint 
lasers, the traditional micrawave radar 
sends out a cone-shaped beam as wide as 
1000 feet—enough to cover an entire high- 
way. Once the trooper gets a reading, he may 
have to make his best guess as to which 
speeder was the most guilty (who drives un- 
der the limit апутоге?). If you were alone an 
the road, your chances of fighting the radar 
reading successfully are practically nil. 


Im a 23-year-old soon-to-be college 
g 
graduate. For someone my age, 1 have 


an extensive and excellent credit history. 
But my girlfriend does not. I plan to 
marry her soon, but I am worried: Will 
our marriage affect my credit rating?— 
H.A., Iowa City, Iowa. 

Only if you buy a house or car together or 
consolidate your credit cards and other debts. 
When a bank or other lender considers a 
joint application, it will factor in your wife's 
rating and determine how much of a risk you 
are as a coule. Credit card companies will 
be even more cautious. It may be simpler for 
each of you to maintain your own credit 
cards, both for bookkeeping (no bickering 
over unexplained purchases) and for conve- 
nience (you can earn frequent füer miles on 
more than one airline). Shared cards can al- 
so be dangerous should the relationship turn 
ugly: No matter what a judge rules about 
who's responsible for which debts, a joint ac- 
count means you're legally responsible for 
half of whatever your wife buys with the 
card—even after you split. 


AA few weeks ago, I met a blind man at 
a party. We hit it off and have been out 
twice now, and I look forward to sleep- 
ing with him. But I’m curious about 
whether someone who has been blind 
since birth experiences sex differently than 
a sighted person. Might this man enjoy 
different types of stimulation than a man 
with sight?—S.S., London, England. 

One of the best things about sex is that you 
don't have to see what you're doing to enjoy 
yourself, or to do it well. Blind people have 
the same sexual desires as anyone else—some 
kinky, some vanilla—and we hope many 
have learned а thing or two over the yea 
perusing the Braille version of the “Advisor. 
Still, fanciful theories abound about how 
blind people must be masterful with their 
hands during sex and less judgmental be- 
cause they make love to a mental vision of 
their pariner. Uh . . . right. Remember that 
the next time you dale a blind person who's 
lousy im bed. Jim Geoghan, whose play 
“Light Sensitive” revolves around an ex-cab- 
bie who loses his sight, has said that while re- 
searching the character; he “found blind men 
to be much more horny than anyone Ud ever 
met, I put together my own ten-cent theory, 
which is that sighted people gratify them- 
selves visually all day long in bits and pieces. 
You look, you look, you like, you look. But 
blind people don't get to do that.” Actually, 
they do, in their own way: Geoghan said his 
blind male friends would ask him to describe 
in explicit detail the women they met. 


All reasonable questions—from fashion, 
food and drink, stereo and sports cars to dat- 
ing problems, taste and etiquette—will be 
personally answered if the writer includes a 
stamped, self-addressed envelope. Send all 
letters to The Playboy Advisor, PLAYBOY, 680 
North Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, Illinois 
60611. (E-mail: advisor@playboy.com.) 
The most provocative, pertinent queries will 
be presented in these pages each month. 


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PLAYBOY 


THE MYTH OF 


1 


bosses 


Ro 


FORUM 


IS 


laws ond lawsuits can never eliminate bad judgment 


In The Death of Common Sense, au- 
thor Philip Howard makes an astute 
observation: For the past 50 years, 
various regulatory agencies have 
tried to create a completely safe soci- 
ety. Officials at the FDA, EPA, CPSC, 
OSHA and countless other alphabet 
agencies have covered every contin- 
gency, every possible accident the hu- 
man (or at least bureaucratic) mind 
can imagine. “Our regulatory system 
has become an instruction manual,” 
Howard writes. “In the decades since 
‘World War Two we have constructed 
a system of regulatory law that basi- 
cally outlaws common sense. The 
motives were logical enough: 
Specific legal mandates would 

keep government in close 

check and provide crisp 
guidelines for private citizens. 

Butit doesn't work. Human ac- 

tivity can't be regulated without 
judgment by humans.” 

People—some 45,000 a year— 
still die from accidents. They 
drown in bathtubs, buckets, 
swimming pools and toilets. 
They choke on food. They run 
into things while riding bicycles. 
They fall from stairs, ladders, 
bridges and balconies. They elec- 
trocute themselves. 

For years we have responded 
to such deaths with a flurry of new 
regulations. At one point, says 
Howard, there were 140 regulations 
dealing with wooden ladders. (Did 
any say the obvious: “Don't walk un- 
der one”?) 

The Contract With America crowd 
has pushed through legislation call- 
ing for a moratorium on new regu- 
lation, a reconsideration of existing 
regulation and a call to examine safe- 
ty from a cost-benefit perspective. It 
has also called for tort reform and 
caps on liability lawsuits. This crusade 
appeals to the libertarian impulse to 
get government off our backs. 

Let’s look at one regulatory agency 
in particular. The Consumer Product 
Safety Commission has fewer than 
500 employees and a budget of $41 
million. Established in 1972, the 
CPSC has jurisdiction over any prod- 
uct sold for home use. It can recall, 


order the redesign of or ban any 
product that it considers dangerous. 
Its job is “to protect the public against 
unreasonable risks of injuries and 
deaths associated with consumer prod- 
ucts.” The commission has brought 
us fire-retardant children’s dothing, 
lead-free crayons, safer bunk beds. 
Five years ago the CPSC focused on 
the ubiquitous five-gallon bucket— 
those plastic containers that carry 
everything from joint compound to 
pickies (approximately 170 million of 
the buckets are manufactured annu- 
ally. Some folks take them from 


construction sites to use around the 
house. A Chicago coroner deter- 
mined that toddlers could fall into the 
buckets and drown. It's а freak 
tragedy, but an estimated 40 children 
a year die this way. 

The CPSC went into action. Its staff 
spent 5113 hours and $100,000 in 
wages, plus another $20,000 in grants 
to outside focus groups, trying to re- 
design the pail. Among its sugges- 
tions: a grating over the opening; a 
cone at the bottom that would keep a 


toddler's head out of liquid; a plug 
that could be removed after the buck- 
et was emptied; buckets that would 
deteriorate in sunlight, or finally, a 
bucket with a round bottom that 
would tip over when a child climbed 
into it. 

The manufacturers of the buckets, 
finding themselves in the spotlight, 
spent some $500,000 in legal and 
lobbying fees to keep one step ahead 
of the commission. In February, 
the CPSC gave up on redesigning the 
bucket. Instead, it recommended 
posting warning stickers on the buck- 
ets, detailing in both English and 

Spanish the hazard to toddlers. 

‘The industry complied. 

Congress had a field day with 
the bucket fiasco—with some mem- 
bers charging (incorrectly) that the 
commission had considered order- 
ing that the buckets have holes 
punched in them. “Why on earth 
would you want a bucket with a 
hole in the bottom of it?” asked 
one incredulous congressman. 

The Contract With America 
anti-regulatory crusade casts 

the debate in terms of cost. 
Should the businessman pay 
for every wild-assed or well- 
intentioned idea that comes 
from Washington? There 
are plenty of people willing 
to siphon off profits in the 

name of the common good. 
But cost obscures the de- 
bate, just as blaming the buck- 
et misses the real problem. Many of 
the drownings were actually the re- 
sult of inattention on the part of par- 
ents or day care providers. One of the 
commissioners at the CPSC looked at 
119 reports and found “60 percent 
were cases that could be termed child 
abuse, neglect or potential foul play. 
A number of the children had been 
previously in foster care because of 
negligence and insufficient parental 

supervision.” 

‘Trying to manufacture thoughtful- 
ness, trying to put safety into bucket 
design, was a noble cause but one 
doomed to fail. You cannot replace 
human judgment or protect against 
the lack of it. 


Al 


42 


In addition to reining in regula- 
tors, the Contract With America seeks 
to cap settlements in liability lawsuits. 
Consumer rights activists and ambu- 
lance chasers contend that court cases 
are an important way to police indus- 
try, that big settlements send a mes- 
sage. Do away with regulation and 
lawsuits become the only way to force 
change. But they suffer the same 
flaws as regulation: They shift blame, 
reward stupidity and make safety the 
responsibility of the machine, not the 
operator. 

Collin Johnson was riding a bicycle 
home from work after midnight. Al- 
though his bike was equipped with 
reflectors, ithad no headlight. Believ- 
ing he was visible to traffic, Johnson 
whizzed down a hill at 20 to 40 miles 
per hour. An oncoming Jeep made a 
left turn in front of him. Johnson 
woke up partially paralyzed. He 
found a lawyer who, with the help 
of a self-proclaimed bike expert, tes- 
tified that reflectors weren't enough, 
that the company, Derby, should have 
installed a headlight as standard 
equipment on every bike it sold, that 
the CPSC standards were themselves 
dangerous because they gave the im- 
pression that reflectors were suffi- 
cient to prevent accidents. The jury 


bought the argument and awarded 
Johnson $7 million (later negotiated 
down to $3.25 million). 

Ask yourself: Will this multimillion- 
dollar message reach more bike rid- 
ers than the one in their owner's 
manual? That warning reads: “At 
night, always use a working headlight 
and taillight. Always wear reflective, 
light-colored clothing and a reflective 
stripe on your helmet.” That seems 
straightforward enough. 

The expert witness was a one-man 
regulatory agency intent on making 
headlamps mandatory. Не һай once 
sued the CPSC for not expanding its 
reflector policy to include headlights. 
He lost. He now wages his crusade on 
the Internet. “In many nighttime ac- 
cident situations, motorists can't see 
reflectors,” he said. “But they can al- 
ways see headlamps.” 

Unfortunately, he is wrong. 

By his estimate, headlights might 
prevent only 79 percent of nighttime 
collisions between bikes and cars. 

The law requires that all motorcy- 
des come equipped with headlights. 
Engineers have rigged it so you can't 
ride a motorcyde without the light 
on. Motorcydes are larger, louder 
and more illuminated than bikes, yet 
thousands of motorcyclists are struck 


by drivers (day and night) who did 
not see the headlight. 

For that matter, hundreds of peo- 
ple are killed crossing railroad tracks 
at night, and locomotives have terrific 
headlights. Yes, headlights might save 
some lives. New Jersey law requires 
you to have a headlight on your bike. 
Whose responsibility is it to follow the 
law? Johnson chose not to install a 
light, even though he knew he would 
be riding at night. 

To argue that Derby was responsi- 
ble (because it was rich and Johnson 
was not) creates a double standard: 
Only the wealthy are responsible. 

It’s a point that got lost in the head- 
lines. Many state laws hold that chil- 
dren in automobiles must be belted 
into a car seat. The law does not re- 
quire Detroit to put a car seat into 
every car it makes on the off chance 
that a child may ride in that саг. 

What the safety saviors don't un- 
derstand is that no rule, no single 
piece of equipment, will ever protect 
you from the concerted stupidity of 
others or the stupidity you sometimes 
inflict on yourself. 

When laws and lawsuits dismiss 
personal responsibility or shift blame 
to the deepest pocket, we create an 
absurd and unsafe world. 


WHAT SORT OF JUDGE READS PLAYBOY? 


We know Clarence Thomas 
reads PLAYBOY (he once wrote a 
letter to the editor about an arti- 
cle on Reagan and race). But now, 
we can add to the list of 
those in power who read 
our magazine for the arti- 
cles the names of William 
Rehnquist, Antonin 
Scalia, John Paul 
Stevens, Stephen 
Breyer, Anthony 
Kennedy, Sandra 
Day O'Connor, 

Ruth Bader Gins- 

burg and David 
Souter—collectively known as the 
U.S. Supreme Court. 

Well, ifnot the entire magazine, 
perhaps just The Playboy Forum. It 
seems that John Wesley Hall Jr., 
an attorney from Arkansas, was 
attempting to persuade the 
Supreme Court to consider mak- 


ing the “knock and announce” 
rule of common law part of the 
Fourth Amendment. 

In his brief he wrote: “We agree 


that the element of surprise in 
some searches can be imperative 
if—and this is a big ifthe police 
can show a valid reason to over- 
come the privacy and property 
interests of the householder they 
intend to invade with battering 
rams, guns drawn and cocked 


and stun grenades. The element 
of surprise, however, is subject to 
great abuse and is a greater dan- 
ger to citizens and police. The 
anecdotal evidence is 
mounting. The Decem- 
ber 1994 PLAYBOY, on 
newsstands the weck this 
reply bricf is filed, pro- 
vides a parade of citizens 
and police shot and 
killed or seriously 
wounded during raids 
by overzealous officers.” 
i Attached to the brief 
was a copy of James Bo- 
vard’s Playboy Forum article 
“Oops—You're Dead: The Body 
Count From No-Knock Raids Is 
Climbing. Are You Next?” 

‘The Court granted certiorari. 
Oral arguments were heard on 
March 28, 1995. The final ruling 
was expected by June. 


N E W 


SFR 


O N T 


what's happening in the sexual and social arenas 


AD PATROL 


CROWN POINT, INDIANA—Many athletic 
teams support themselves through spon- 
sors, and now police want to explore this 
Source of revenue. The top cop in Crown 


Point is offering to sell space on the backs 
of police cars—at the rate of $1600 а car. 
“We thought it would be a good idea to pay 
fer light bars, siren boxes, radios and 
things of that nature,” said Police Chief 
Michael Valsi. Wait until Dunkin’ Donuts 
hears about this. 


AKISS 1S JUSTA KISS 


WASHINGTON, D.c—Let’s hear it for 
long wet ones. Scientists have long main- 
tained that kissing does not spread AIDS, 
but now they are closer to knowing why. 
Researchers have found that saliva con- 
tains proteins (called secretory leukocyte 
protease inhibitors) that attach themselves 
to white blood cells and protect them from 
infection. Another set of proteins (called 
mucins) cause the human immunodeficien- 
cy virus to clump together. The biomech- 
anism remains to be identified, but it raises. 
the possibility of developing new treatments 


or a vaccine. 


THE OTHER CHEEK 


TROY, OHIO—A 33-year-old father who 
bruised his ten-year-old son with a hard 
spanking accepted a novel plea bargain to 
avoid prosecution for domestic violence. 


The court dismissed the charge when the 
father agreed to leta police officer give him 
three licks with the same paddle he had 
used on his son. The paddle, inscribed 
BOARD OF EDUCATION, was subsequently 
destroyed. 


HIPPOCRATIC OAFS 


JACKSON, MISSISSIPPI—Giving a penile 
implant to а convicted child molester was 
not hailed as progressive medicine by a 
Mississippi congressman. Representative 
Sonny Montgomery learned that a Novy 
veteran afflicted with impotence obtained 
the implant at taxpayer expense after seru- 
ing four years in prison for sexual acts 
with two girls. Montgomery wants Veter- 
ans Administration hospitals to start 
Screening their patients. 


BLUENOSE STOCKS 


‘TUPELO, MISSISSIPPI—Not long ago a 
‚financial genius established a mutual fund 
billed as virtually recession-proof because 
it invests in i ies associated with sin, 
human weakness and popular bad habits. 
Now comes the Timothy Plan, a no-load 
mutual fund for “Christian investors” who 
want to put their money where their morals 
are. That means no investments are made 
in corporations involved with abortion, 
pornography, alcohol, tobacco or casino 
gambling. No connection is indicated, but 
the original Timothy was а Christian disci- 
ple and missionary activist who, legend has 
it, was sainted after being stoned to death. 


SAY WHEN 


LONDON—Three men who were among 
a group of S&M enthusiasts found guilty 
of assault during a 1990 trial are again 
appealing their conviction on grounds that 
the consensual nature of the acts afforded 
them the right to privacy. In initial ap- 
peals, Britain's House of Lords upheld the 
original conviction, stating that consent to 
sadomasochistic acts is no defense for as- 
Sault that causes bodily harm. 


TOUGH EXAMS 


ANKARA—The Turkish government is 
backing down on a rule that authorizes 
virginity tests for female students and те- 
quires the expulsion of any found to be 
"unchaste." Afier an outcry from human 


rights advocates, national education offi- 
cials said they would modify the order “to 
prevent mäsinterpretations.” 


CLINIC SUITS 


PENSACOLA, FLORIDA—A wrongful- 
death suit has been filed against а Pen- 
sacola abortion clinic by the family of 
David Gunn, в doctor shot and killed there 
by a pro-lifer in 1993. The suit claims the 
clinic should have recognized the danger 
presented by fanatic protesters and that it 
failed to accord protection to employees 
lawfully on its premises. Meanwhile, anti- 
abortionists are suing to nullify the eight- 
foot buffer zone around the clinic, which 
was created by the Pensacola city council. 
Officials established the protected area af- 
ter Paul Hill killed a doctor and his secu- 
rity escort outside the clinic a few months 
after Gunn's murder. Abortion opponents 
claim the zone violates the Freedom of Ac- 
cess to Clinic Entrances law, and hinders 
their First Amendment right to speak 
against abortion and distribute literature. 


WATER BABIES 


WASHINGTON, D.c—Is that seasickness, 
or are you pregnant? Navy Secretary John 
Dalton rejected a proposal that would re- 


quire Waves to take a pregnancy test before 
they are assigned sea duty. He advised his 
base and fleet commanders that having a 
baby "is a natural event” not incompatible 
with a naval career. 


43 


TRICKS 

You made some good hits in 
“Stupid Government Tricks” 
and “The Contract on America” 
(The Playboy Forum, April). The 
1994 crime bill made dozens of 
additional crimes punishable by 
death, but at what cost? Last 
year the U.S. had more than 
3000 people on death row, but 
only 31 were executed. The 
others spent their time exhaust- 
ing resources and man-hours 
on legal appeals paid for by tax- 
payers. A Duke University 
study shows it costs $2.2 million 
more to execute a killer than to 
lock him away for life simply be- 
cause lawyers cost more than 
prison guards. Every $2 million 
spent injecting lethal drugs into 
some lawless punk is money 
that can’t be spent on efforts 
which even law enforcement 
authorities regard as more ef- 
fective: more cops on the beat, 
more programs to fight drug 
abuse, longer prison terms. Un- 
cle Sam should apply a little 
federal scrutiny where it could 
really do some good—toward 

budgetary priorities. 

Nick Johnson 

Chicago, Illinois 


April, the month when mil- 
lions of procrastinators come 
face-to-face with their tax mas- 
ters in Washington, becomes all the 
more frustrating when we survey the 
wasteland of our federal government. 
With more than 600,000 members na- 
tionwide, Citizens Against Government 
Waste has been working for more than 
adecade to make government more ас- 
countable. Our 1995 Congressional Pig 
Book Summary profiles 88 of the most 
egregious pork-barrel projects in the 
country. These projects, worth $1 bil- 
lion, represent only a fraction of the 
$10 billion in procedural pork that we 
found larding up appropriations bills. 
Among this year's: 

*$15 million for a footbridge from 
New Jersey to Ellis Island. 

*А $19.6 million annual, unautho- 
rized gift to the International Fund for 
Ireland. In the past, the money has 
been used to produce golf videos and 
to subsidize pony-trekking centers. 

+$110 million for a single highway 
project in West Virginia, which is the 


E R 


FOR THE RECORD 


PiUc Рик 


“It got pretty tiring, and I have better things 
to do. There are so many educated people on 
the Internet—and what are they interested in? 
Stupid pictures that they could see better if they 
bought a copy of PLAYBOY.” 

COMPUTER RESEARCHER PATRICK GROENEVELD, 

AFTER PULLING THE PLUG ON THE UNIVERSITY 


OF DELFTS PORNOGRAPHY ARCHIVE IN THE 
NETHERLANDS, AN INTERNET SITE THAT RACKED 


UP SOME 50,000 DOWNLOADED IMAGES A DAY 


state of pork paragon Senator Rob- 
ert Byrd. 

Ofcourse, pork makes up only a part 
of the waste. In the interest of present- 
ing taxpayers with a wider range of op- 
tions, CAGW's 1995 edition of Prime 
Cuts catalogs hundreds of unimple- 
mented waste-cutting proposals dating 
back to the 1984 Grace Commission. 
While the 104th Congress seems more 
likely to take action than any other 
Congress in memory, nothing will 
move the process along faster than citi- 
zen involvement. Let's insist that the 
government live within its means. 

"Thomas Schatz 

President 

Citizens Against Government Waste 
Washington, D.C. 

("Congressional Pig Book Summary” and 
“Prime Cuts” are available from Citizens 
Against Government Waste, Dept. Р 1301 
Connecticut Ave. NW, Suite 400, Washing- 
ton, D.C. 20036.) 


CONTRACT ON AMERICA 
I am thoroughly disappoint- 
ed with the headline “The Con- 
tract on America.” The proper 
term is Contract With America. 
No matter what PLAYBOY's polit- 
ical affiliations and beliefs are, I 
think it’s unbecoming of you to 
advocate a childish misnaming 
of an important (albeit unoffi- 
cial) document. Many fresh- 
man representatives beat their 
senior opponents in the last 
congressional election because 
of that contract. Let Bob Wie- 
der use wit and facts to support. 
his argument. Don't destroy 
your credibility by sleight of 
meaning. 
Sean Sherwin 
Casper, Wyoming. 
What's this? You want to deify an 
agenda? It’s the Constitution we 
support, not Newt's master plan. 


In early March, New York 
brought back the death penalty. 
There were no public hearings. 
Мо experts were called to elab- 
orate on the details of the bill. 
Even floor debate was limited. 
This was not an effort toward 
genuine or legitimate crime 
control. Just like last year’s ab- 
surd congressional cnactment 
of the largest expansion of cap- 
ital punishment in U.S. history, 
the unspoken agenda in New 
York was about polities, not policy. The 
death penalty debate isn't about effec- 
tiveness or efficiency. Virtually every- 
one concedes that executions cost mil- 
lions of dollars and have no impact on 
crime. We've given up the pretense of 
fairness since the Supreme Court an- 
nounced that racism in death sentenc- 
ing is inevitable. Similarly, the Court 
has dispensed with concern about er- 
ror by announcing that the Constitu- 
tion doesn’t protect innocent people 
from being put to death. What law- 
makers are concerned about is the 
death penalty’s impact on elections. It's 
a shame that the losers in the game 
aren't just the politicians, and they don't 
just lose their jobs. The real losers in the 
death penalty charade lose their lives. 
Leigh Dingerson 
Executive Director 
National Coalition to Abolish 

the Death Penalty 
Washington, D.C. 


FATHERHOOD 

Thank you for Ted Fishman's article 
“Redefining Fatherhood” (The Playboy 
Forum, March). It's about time someone 
stood up for men’s rights. Women have 
hundreds of political and civil rights 
organizations to look out for their in- 
terests. Because it is politically incor- 
rect to dispute a woman's right to par- 
enthood, the organizations that help 
men receive little or no attention from 
politicians or the media. An organiza- 
tion I would recommend to any man 
fighting for his rights is the National 
Center for Men, РО. Box 555, Old 
Bethpage, New York 11804. Please in- 
form your readers. Men need all the 

help they can get. 

Scott Wilkens 

Pontiac, Michigan 


I hope Ted Fishman's article receives 
the attention it deserves. In a society 
that continues to favor women in child 
custody disputes, we should be out- 
raged that so many children are victim- 
ized in the name of good intentions. 
Loving, devoted, presumably compe- 
tent dads are having their children 
stolen from them through deception 
and procrastination. With their emo- 
tional and financial resources spent 
(апа invaluable moments participating 
in their children’s lives lost forever), 
many of these men are frustrated, sad, 
angry, poor—and childless. At a time 
when stories about deadbeat fathers 
and abusive relationships make head- 
lines, the media would do well to high- 
light the good guys whose only crime 
might have been not knowing the 
answer to “Do you know where your 
children are?" 

Nancy Chaney 
Moscow, Idaho 


UNCLE SCAM 

Perhaps I've been in law school too 
long, but I found James Bovard's аг- 
tide “Uncle Scam Wants You” (The 
Playboy Forum, March) so full of hyper- 
bole, unsubstantiated facts and emo- 
tional rhetoric as to border on propa- 
ganda. No law enforcement agency in 
this country promotes what Bovard 
calls “abusive entrapment schemes.” In 
fact, the criminal justice system has 
many self-imposed hurdles that are 
specifically designed to deter such un- 
lawful practices. I would welcome an 
intelligent debate of the real issues re- 
garding entrapment. Unfortunately, 


none was presented. PLAYBOY should 
stick with the kind of cerebral disputa- 
tion found in your February Forum arti- 
cle “Defending Pornography.” 
Joseph Gallo 
Waco, Texas 


I think James Bovard is forgetting 
how many drug rings are brought 
down by government stings. Sure, 
many of the tactics seem unethical to 
the innocent citizen, but what about 
drug pushers and dealers who slip 
through the fingers of the justice sys- 
tem because of minor technicalities? 1 
say we tighten the loopholes in the 
courts and hang the animals on the 
streets and in our schools. 

Louis Hayes 
Urbana, Illinois 


Hooray for “Uncle Scam.” The gov- 
ernment works in unscrupulous ways 
for the sake of a bust. Here’s a nomina- 
tion for the Drug Enforcement Admin- 
istration’s Bloopers Hall of Fame: A 
suit by a group of airline passengers 
and workers aboard a Belize Air Inter- 
national flight charges that they were 


MINIMUM 
SECURITY 
PRISON 


А. average of 1250 people began serving mandatory minimum prison 
_ sentences each week in the U.S. in 1993. That translates to 179 people per day, 
seven people every hour. This future-shock landscape was contributed by former 
inmate Marshall Randall, who used to make his living drawing political cartoons. 


imprisoned and tortured in Honduras 
in 1991 as а result of a botched drug 
sting conducted by DEA officials. Ac- 
cording to the suit, zealous DEA agents 
hid 48 kilos of cocaine on a flight from 
Miami to Central America. In their 
haste to track and capture drug smug- 
glers, the agents failed to inform the 
Honduran government, the passengers 
or the crew, The six plaintifis said they 
were imprisoned and tortured for 11 
days before U.S. officials would secure 
their release. The officials apologized 
to the Honduran government, but 
those participating in the suit wanted 
more—at least $350,000 each. 
Terry Kent 
Miami, Florida 
In March, а federal judge in Miami 
awarded $155,000 to each plaintiff: 


We would like to hear your point of 
view. Send questions, information, opinions 
and quirky stuff to: The Playboy Forum 
Reader Response, PLAYBOY, 680 North 
Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, Illinois 60611. 
Please include a daytime phone number. 
Fax number: 312-951-2939. E-mail: 
forum@playboy.com. 


45 


46 


7 


+y 


> 


It's only a matter of time. With Newt 
Gingrich pushing for a laptop in every 
poor child’s schoolbag, an Internet 
server in every area code and afford- 
able access for all, cyberspace is 
finished. The virtue vigilantes have 
asked the obvious: Before we turn our 
kids loose in this digital playground, 
shouldn't we clean up the garbage, 
chase the dirty old men out of town 
and find a way to eliminate erotic 
images? 

Will they succeed? Probably. The on- 
ly question is how. 

Yes, yes. We are aware of that little 
obstacle known as the First Amend- 
ment. The Internet—as anyone who 
received a computer for Christmas has 
undoubtedly discovered—is anarchic. 
There is no act too obscene (or too bor- 
ing) that a million geeks can't find time 
to discuss it in chat groups for days. 
People who have now experienced un- 
bridled First Amendment freedom via 
cyberspace will resist any efforts to curb 
its unfettered discourse. Part of their 
cockiness comes from the technology. 
As Internet pioneer John Gilmore has 
said: “The Net interprets censorship as 
damage and routes around it” 

Let's hope that’s the case: The cyber- 
prudes come in all shapes and sizes. At 
the very top, Senator James (“I want to 
keep the information superhighway 
from resembling a red-light district”) 
Exon introduced legislation (the Com- 
munications Decency Act of 1995) to 
expand FCC regulations covering ob- 
scene telephone calls to include all 
forms of electronic communication. 
Anyone who “makes, transmits or oth- 
erwise makes available any comment, 
request, suggestion, proposal, image or 
other communication” that is “obscene, 
lewd, lascivious, filthy or indecent” us- 
ing a “telecommunications device" will 
be subject to a fine of $100,000 or two 
years in prison. 

Most people view censorship as the 
silencing of one voice ata time. Senator 
Exon's tactic goes for the middleman. 
Make carriers responsible for the con- 
tent of the Net, and providers will 
monitor every online conversation. 
Perhaps they will use what is known 


"TARGET: 


forget it—the net is doomed 


as George Carlin software—programs 
that bleep out offensive or potentially 
sexy words. Nervous sysops may have 
to spend their days and nights 
hunched over the bully button ready to 
spank anyone who brings offensive lan- 
guage to a chat group. Postal inspec- 
tors could find (or plant) provocative 
images and collect big bucks from bul- 
letin board operators who take the bait 
or who simply fall asleep instead of 
policing their corner of cyberspace. 

If that law were to go into effect, cy- 
berspace would become about as titil- 
lating as the local mall. Hot and heavy 
e-mail would all but cease. Erotic image 
banks would be even harder to find. 
Altsex.stories would evoke nostalgia 
similar to wildly 
embellished ac- 
counts of Wood- 
stock. You could 
probably still ac- 
cess stock quotes 
and weather re- 
ports from Com- 
puserve, or find 
kindred spirits to 
discuss the relative 
merits of Picard 
and Kirk, but only 
if everyone kept 
their virtual pants 
zipped up. 

The knights of 
the Internet like 
to claim that their 
universe is beyond 
the reach of prudes. They have con- 
vinced themselves that the Net is a 
realm of fantasy, a universe that exists 
parallel to the real world rather than 
within и. Forget it. The Internet is 
about as private as a postcard, 

The technology already does exist to 
document and disclose your personal 
obsessions, or your simple curiosities. 
The same technology can allow anyone 
to see your address book—with whom. 
you communicate, how often and for 
how long. 

In one sense, the Internet is like the 
Trojan horse: a neat toy until you look 
inside. The Harvard Crimson discov- 
ered, for instance, that anyone on the 


-YBERSPACE 


© == By JAMES В. PETERSEN 


Harvard computer network could look 
at logs of users’ actions. In short, they 
could find out exactly how many im- 
ages from Debbie Does a Donkey, Hu- 
manoid Hunks From San Francisco or 
Young Lolitas you had downloaded. The 
Crimson reported (without naming 
names) that 28 students had down- 
loaded some 500 pornographic pic- 
tures in one week. Patrick Groeneveld, 
the sysop who ran the Digital Pictures 
Archive at the University of Delfi in the 
Netherlands, kept a log of the top 50 
consumers of erotica and then publi- 
cized the list. It included the addresses 
of several major corporations (AT&T, 
Citicorp and Ford, among others). Try 
explaining your collection of computer 


cuties to the personnel department. 
When the do-gooders arrive in 
force—and they certainly will—they'll 
bring some obvious, fairly old-fash- 
ioned tools: outrage, parental concern 
and hypocrisy. They'll target schools 
and colleges first because that's where 
the “children” are and because most 
universities have ties to the govern- 
ment. Sadly, most colleges place repu- 
tation above academic freedom. We're 
not sure what the outcome of the Har- 
vard fiasco will be, but when a techie 
pointed out to authorities at Carnegie 
Mellon University what was available 
on the Net, CMU tried to shut down all 
sex-related chat groups. Our guess is 


that prestigious universities such as 
Harvard and Carnegie Mellon will be- 
come the first and most vigilant censors 
of cyberspace. After all, boys and girls, 
they're their computers. 

There seems to be no end to the self- 
appointed protectors of the innocent. 
Look at what happened to Jake Baker. 
By now you're probably familiar with 
the story: A University of Michigan 
alumnus with nothing to do sits in 
a hotel room in Moscow, cruising the 
Net. Acting on a tip from the teenage 
daughter of a friend, he flips through 
alt.sex.stories, where he finds a bunch 
of sordid torture fantasies posted by 
kiasyd@umich.edu (Jake Baker). 
Thinking that such filth and depravity 
reflect poorly on his alma mater 
(whereas his own cruising was for no- 
ble reasons having nothing to do with 
sex or simple curiosity), the man 
notifies the university. Before you 
know it, Jake Baker finds himself in 
jail. Internet junkies say Baker fucked 
up by using his real name and the 
name of his school—oh, and by the 


way, by giving the victim in a story 
the name of a woman in one of his 
classes. Baker was an idiot, but what 
happened to him shows a typical over- 
reaction by the outside world to the 
not-so-niceties of the Net. 

The University of М 
the equivalent of martial law: It or- 
dered psychiatric interviews for Baker 
(the shrinks thought he had an active 
fantasy life but was not a threat), then 
moved to suspend him. Never mind 
the First Amendment—this was a 
health crisis. 

Suspension wasn’t enough for the 
feds. The government sniffed a test 
case and took action. The cops arrived, 


looked at Baker's e-mail (with his per- 
ission) and arrested him for trans- 
g “interstate communication 
containing any threat to kidnap any 
person or any threat to injure the per- 
son of another.” A judge ordered that 
Baker be held without bond. The pros- 
ecuüon argued that the 20-year-old 
student be kept in jail “to prevent rape 
and murder.” (He was released after a 
month in jail.) 

Clearly the judge and the feds were 
overwhelmed by the mystique of the 
new medium. Robert Ressler, a retired 
FBI agent who specializes in the habits 
of serial killers, told the press that 
while not everyone who has such fan- 
tasies is dangerous, “every serial killer 
starts with fantasizing.” That backward 
logic seems to say that the Net—fed by 
fantasy—is a breeding ground for 
killers. So everyone who has ever 
signed on to altsex.stories should be 
held without bond for what they might 
do? What's the difference between 
words on the Internetand words at the 
neighborhood bookstore? 

Jake Baker is au- 
thor of a grubby 
tiule chronicle in 
which he and a 
friend hold a 
woman Captive (ty- 
ing her by her hair 
to a ceiling fan), 
then abuse her 
with clamps, glue, 
a big spiky hair- 
brush, a hot curl- 
ing iron, a spread- 
er bar, a knife and 
finally fire. He 
lands in jail. 

Bret Easton Ellis 
comes up with a 
novel, American 
Psycho, in which 
the protagonist holds a woman captive, 
sprays her with Mace, decapitates her 
to have sex with her severed head, 
nails a dildo to her genitals and drills 
holes in various parts of her body, all 
while capturing the events on film. El- 
lis has a table at Elaine's. 

The feds insist Baker's case isn’t a 
First Amendment issue. that he made a 
direct threat against a specific person. 
But their logic doesn't hold up: The 
woman's name appears in something 
that is clearly a story, written in the pre- 
sent tense and including a disclaimer 
indicating it is fiction. (Most case law 
holds that a threat must imply a future 
action.) Baker never showed the story 


to the woman or acted in any perverse 
fashion toward her, As freaky as the 
fiction was, there didn't seem to be any 
intent. Just dweeb bravado. Rumor has 
it that Baker is still a virgin. (That 
could explain everything.) 

The evidence against Baker includes 
e-mail that he sent to a person in Cana- 
da who called himself Arthur Gronda. 
Baker and Gronda keystroked cach 
other into electronic ecstasy, discussing 
torture and kidnapping techniques. 
According to the investigating agent, 
Baker wrote: "I don't want any blood 
in my room, though I have come upon 
an excellent method to abduct a bitch. 
As I said before, my room is right 
across from the girls’ bathroom. Wait 
until late at night, grab her when she 
goes to unlock the door. Knock her un- 
conscious and put her into one of those 
portable lockers (forget the word for it) 
or even a duffel bag. Then hurry her 
out to the car and take her away. What 
do you think?" 

Good question. Most of you probably 
think that the little creep should be 
hung upside down by his genitals. But 
the evidence is far from damning. In 
the e-mail, Baker never named a tar- 
get. The woman whose name he ap- 
propriated for his macabre alt.sex.sto- 
ries fantasy did not live in his dorm. 
And talking about a crime is not a 
crime. As one lawyer said: “What peo- 
ple see isa frightening use of technolo- 
gy, So they attack the technology itself. 
Tf Baker had written this stuff in letters, 
nobody would be saying, 'Let's open all 
the U.S. mail.” 

Don't give the government any 
ideas. Baker faces a five-year prison 
sentence. If he's convicted, it will, as 
they say, send a message. 

Meanwhile, the knights of the Inter- 
net insist their world does not need 
rules or cybercops. They have their 
own ways of punishing bad behavior: 
flaming and scorn. Within days of Bak- 
er's arrest, stories began to appear on 
the Net with characters named Jake 
Baker. Drag queens in prison rape the 
fantasy Jake and cut out his tongue. A 
woman meets the fantasy Jake on the 
street, tortures and shoots him. The 
devil asks the fantasy Jake to torture 
a woman, then masturbate, and when 
the fantasy Jake is unable to obtain an 
erection, the devil shoves a curling iron 
up fantasy Jake's ass. 

Fight fire with fire, speech with 
speech: Can the government come up 
with anything better to keep the Net 
avilized? 


47 


48 


Anonymous remailers Often located 
in freedom-loving Scandinavia, these 
sites allow Internet users (including 
pedophiles, government whistle- 
blowers and political exiles) to send 
e-mail that does not contain a return 
address. They are not foolproof, 
however, In February, the name of 
a poster who used the popular 
anon.penet.fi site was turned over to 
Finnish authorities following com- 
plaints from the Church of Scientol- 
ogy. The church pressured police to 
serve a search-and-seize warrant after 
nameless postings that it claims in- 
cluded “re-created versions of sacred 
religious scriptures that are protected 
by both copyright and trade secret 
law.” The remailer owner said he sur- 
rendered the poster's identity rather 
than reveal his 200-megabyte sub- 
seriber list. 


Cancel A command 

sent by а user to 

delete a message 

posted to a Usenct 

discussion group. In 

theory, only the per- 

son who writes а mes- 

sage can cancel it, but 

users long ago discov- 

ered ways to forge the 

command. Programs 

that cast a wider net 

(knocking out mes- 

sages in more than 

one place) are known 

as cancelbots. In the 

past, cancelbots have 

been used mostly to 

counter users who 

“spam” Usenet by 

sending chain letters, 
advertisements or political propagan- 
da to multiple discussions where they 
don't belong. But the programs have 
a more ominous use, allowing zealots 
to launch search-and-destroy missions 
against ideological enemies. 

Domain name Part of your address 
оп the Internet that indicates where 
you are located (еб. playboy.com, 
yale.edu, whitehouse.gov). А non- 
profit group funded by the National 
Science Foundation registers domain 
names, each of which must be unique 
and, apparently, colorless. A recent 


the tools of repression 


request by a Net publisher, Justin 
Hall, to register fuck.com was denied. 
“We're not in the business of censor- 
ing names,” a registration official ex- 
plained, “but there are undoubtedly 
a large number of people who would 
be offended.” 


George Carlin software The nick- 
name coined by Prodigy to describe 
the program it uses to delete objec- 
tionable words from its members’ pri- 
vate mail. Prodigy officials decline to 
release a list of the forbidden words, 
but certainly it contains the seven that 
Carlin rattles off in his famous come- 
dy routine: shit, piss, cunt, fuck, cock- 
sucker, motherfucker, tits. The soft- 
ware allows Prodigy to screen 75,000 
messages daily and send each on its 
way within minutes. When screened 
by humans, the delay could be as long 
as 21 hours. 


Moderators On popular services such 
as America Online, volunteers are ге- 
cruited to discourage members from 
using language deemed to be “vulgar, 
abusive or hateful.” AOL and Prodigy 
subscribers—who agree when coming 
aboard that they won't use even dis- 
guised words such as f**k—quickly 
Tesort to more creative antics. Last 
fall on AOL, a user typed the word 
prick during a discussion, then quick- 
ly added “your finger” on the next 
line to cover her tracks. Soon after, a 
male participant tested the guidelines 


with “genitalia” and “asexual.” Both 
users were warned; one was evicted. 

Most discussions on Usenet, avail- 
able via the Internet, are free-for-alls. 
Those that do have moderators allow 
them to eliminate only repetitive or 
irrelevant posts. It’s a fine line. Last 
year, for example, a user or users by 
the name of Serdar Argic flooded the 
discussion group soc.history with mes- 
sages arguing, despite overwhelming 
evidence otherwise, that Turks had 
not massacred Armenians in 1915. A 
moderator was chosen, and Argic's 
diatribes were filtered out. 


Terms of service The document that 
many cyberspace users must endorse 
before they are allowed to open an ac- 
count with a service provider. While 
insisting they support freedom of ex- 
pression, Everyman services such as 
America Online and Prodigy are also 
dedicated to preserv- 
ing family-oriented 
“communities.” After 
reminding members 
that “there are chil- 
dren online,” AOL 
bans “unlawful, harm- 
ful, threatening, abu- 
sive, harassing, de- 
famatory, vulgar, 
obscene, profane, 
hateful, racially, et 
cally or otherwise ob- 
jectionable material 
of any kind.” It also 
forbids “personal at- 
tacks or attacks based 
on a persons race, 
national origin, eth- 
nicity, religion, gen- 
der, sexual orienta- 
tion or other such affiliation.” 

The judgment as to what consti- 
tutes offensive language rests largely 
with volunteer moderators, whose 
whims are the subject of much deri- 
sion. AOL recently removed a discus- 

ion area called YngM4YngM, prompt- 

g protests from gay teens who used 
it as a support group. Earlier, AOL 
had closed several feminist forums 
with the word girl in their titles, fear- 
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wis MEL GIBSON 


a candid conversation with hollywood's favorite madman about bad puns, great 
fights, the perils of speaking your mind and the joy of grossing out your co-stars 


Mel Gibson is sitting in an editing bay in 
а small postproduction building in Holly- 
wood, watching three compuler monitors, all 
of which are running clips from his latest 
film, “Braveheart.” Gibson is producing, di 
recting and starring in this story of William 
Wallace, a 13th century Scottish revolution- 
ary who made a hobby of killing Englishmen 
and wound up being hanged. drawn and 
quartered at the age of 35. It's an epic that 
runs nearly three hours and is filled with 
bloody battle scenes, a dash of romance and 
more than а few of the sorts of glib, throw- 
ашау lines that fans of Gibson 's “Mad Max" 
and “Lethal Weapon” trilogies have come 
to expect. 

The editors have put together a promo- 
tional clip for Gibson—shots of Mel and co- 
star Sophie Marceau, of Mel in battle, of pil- 
laging, of rampaging, of just Mel looking 
into the camera. “There's too much of me,” 
Gibson complains. “It slows it down.” He 
wants to take out the close-ups that don't 
move the action along. He runs his fingers 
through his nearly shoulder-length. un- 
washed hair, pulling at it so it stands almost 
straight up. He rubs his beard, which is 
white around the chin, and sticks a finger in- 
to his mouth to massage a tooth. He looks 
like a wild man rather than the handsome 


“One time I got a bad thrashing I woke up 
in the bloody hospital with head stitches, a 
busted nose, my jaw off the hook. That's nev- 
er going to happen again. If anybody even 
looks at me sideways, I'm cracking first.” 


romantic lead who so captivated his co-stars 
Sigourney Weaver т "The Year of Living 
Dangerously,” Diane Keaton т "Mrs. Sof- 
fel,” Jodie Foster in “Maverick,” Michelle 
Pfeiffer in “Tequila Sunrise,” Sissy Spacck 
in “The River,” Goldie Hawn in “Bird ona 
Wire” and Jamie Lee Curtis in “Forever 
Young.” 

“Braveheart” is on's 22nd picture 
(not counting Disney’s animated “Pocahon- 
tas,” for which he provides the voice of Cap- 
tain John Smith). Over the past 18 years he 
has played sensitive romantics, tough, no- 
nonsense lawmen, glib rogues, con men and 
the bewildered son of a slain Danish king. 
He has that rare ability to work off actors 
such as Danny Glover, Anthony Hopkins, 
Kurt Russell and James Garner with the 
same enthusiasm and aplomb he has with his 
female co-stars. He's also not afraid to tack- 
le roles made famous by actors such as Lau- 
rence Olivier (“Hamlet”), Garner (“Maver- 
ick”) and Clark Gable and Marlon Brando 
(“The Bounty”). 

Gibson was born on January 3, 1956 in 
Peekskill, New York, the sixth child of Hut- 
ton and Anne Gibson. His father worked as 
a railroad brakeman for the New York Cen- 
tral Railroad until 1964, when he slipped 
on some oil and fell from a train, severely 


“ГИ get kicked around for saying it, but men 
and women are not equal. The same way you 
and I are not equal. You might be more intel- 
ligent or have a bigger dick. Feminists don't 
like me and I don't like them." 


hurting his back. While awaiting the out- 
come of the resultant lawsuit he helped sup- 
port his family by appearing on “Jeopardy,” 
winning $21,000 in 1968. That same year, 
with the Vietnam war threatening the lives of 
young American draftees, Hutton Gibson 
decided to move his family (which included 
ten children, with an eleventh soon to be 
adopted) to Australia. Although Hutton 
served in World War Two, he was also an 
opinionated, religious man who had serious- 
ly considered the priesthood. His ultracon- 
servative Catholic views were imprinted on 
his children, and he has written books 
defining his position. 

Unlike his father, Mel wasn't a reader. In- 
stead, he watched such TV shows as the 
“Mickey Mouse Club” and “Captain Kan- 
garoo,” and old Steve Reeves gladiator 
movies. As a high school student in Australia 
he was struck by the “reality and natural 
ism" of American films in the Seventies, in- 
cluding Sidney Lumet’s “Serpico” and “Dog 
Day Afternoon” and Francis Coppola's first 
two “Godfather” films. At various times, he 
worked part-time in a supermarket, at Ken- 
tucky Fried Chicken and as an assistant 
juice mixer т an orange juice factory. 

After high school he auditioned for the 
National Institute of Dramatic Arts in 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY MIZUNO 


“I was known for being a clown at school. 1 
remember my dad said, Just remember, 
everybody likes a chum, but nobody pays 
him. I've often been tempted lo call him and 
say, “Remember how you told me? Yes, they do.” 


51 


FAL AY EFO TF 


52 


Sydney afier an older sister filled out an ap- 
plication for him. When he was asked why he 
wanted to be an actor, he answered, “Гое 
been goofing around all my life. I might as 
well get paid for it.” While at NIDA he got a 
part as a surfer т a low-budget film called 
“Summer Cily,” which he didn’t take so seri- 
ously as his fencing lessons and the Shake- 
speare he was learning. He acted in dozens 
of plays, including “Waiting for Godot” and 
“Romeo and Juliet,” in which he had the 
lead opposite Judy Davis. Off campus, he 
was a typical rowdy Aussie—he hung out 
at bars as much for the brawls as for the 
bourbon. 

A шеей after one intense barroom beating, 
he auditioned for the part of Max Rockatan- 
sky in a futuristic film about a lone warrior 
cop and an unsavory motorcycle gang. Di- 
rector George Miller saw in the beat-up face 
of the young Gibson the hero he was looking 
for. Although Gibson had only a minimal 
‘amount of dialogue, “Mad Max” brought 
him the kind of attention that Clint East- 
wood got as the Man With No Name in his 
early spaghetti Westerns. 

Gibson followed “Mad Max” with a sur- 
prisingly sensitive portrayal of a retarded 
handyman in “Tim,” based on Colleen Mc- 
Cullough’s novel, for which he won the 1979 
Australian Film Institute’s Best Actor 
award, Two years later he worked with Peter 
Weir and George Miller (again), two of Aus- 
tralia’s most renowned directors, in films 
that firmly established him as both а roman- 
tic leading man and the prototype of a new 
breed of action-adventure hero. He won a 
second Australian Film Institute Best Actor 
award for Weir's “Gallipoli,” an antiwar 
story of two Australian soldiers sent to fight 
in Turkey during World War One. And 
Miller’s “The Road Warrior” perfected what 
he was attempting in “Mad Max.” The two 
films established Gibson as an iniernational 
movie star. 

Between 1982 and 1985 he played Biff in 
Arthur Miller’s “Death of a Salesman” at 
the Nimrod Theater in Sydney and made five 
pictures back-to-back: “The Year of Living 
Dangerously,” “The Bounty,” “The River,” 
“Mrs. Soffel” and the third and last of the 
Mad Max films, “Mad Max Beyond Thun- 
derdome.” He then look some time off to 
recharge and came back as а smartass un- 
dercover cop in “Lethal Weapon,” his most 
commercially successful picture to date. Not 
all of his films were hits: “Tequila Sunrise” 
did moderate business, and “Bird on a 
Wire" and ‘Air America” bombed. His inter- 
pretation of “Hamlet” drew rave reviews but 
small crowds. In 1992 he appeared in “For- 
ever Young,” a schmaltzy romance about a 
man who is frozen and comes back to life 50 
years later. That film and “Lethal Weapon 
3” together grossed more than $200 million. 
In 1993 Gibson was named male star of the 
year by the National Association of Theater 
Oumers. He made his directorial debut with 
“The Man Without a Face,” in which he 
played a disfigured man with a hidden past. 

Gibson is intensely private and has avoid- 


ed the media as much as possible. His wit 
and sometimes raunchy humor have gotten 
him into trouble with feminists and gays, 
who have demonstrated against him for re- 
marks he claims he made in jest. His sense of 
humor leans toward the outrageous—"some- 
where between discomfort and just hysterical 
laughter,” he says. 

Gibson has been married to Robyn Moore, 
а former nurse’s aide, for 15 years and has 
kept her and their six children (ages 5 to 14) 
out of the spotlight. Until recently they made 
their home on an 800-acre ranch in Aus- 
tralia, but decided to move to California be- 
cause, Gibson claims, “they don’t know what 
to make of me down there.” 

His company, Icon Productions, employs 
15 people who actively develop numerous 
projects for Gibson to produce, direct and act 
т. The recent “Immortal Beloved,” starring 
Gary Oldman as Beethoven, was an Icon 
production, as were five of Gibson's last six 


films (“Hamlet,” “Forever Young,” “The 


Man Without a Face,” “Maverick” and 
“Braveheart”). 

To break through Gibson’s protective wall, 
PLAYBOY sent Contributing Editor Lawrence 
Grobel (who last interviewed Jean-Claude 


It was over something I said 
five years ago. Suffice it to 
say that Pue been chased by 


automobiles doing dangerous 


things on the freeway. 


Van Damme) to visit with the star at his 
offices on the Warner Bros. lot in Burbank. 
Grobel's report: 

“When I got this assignment I called some 
of the actresses who have worked with Mel, 
and they all told me the same thing: He’s 
handsome, easy to work with and has a 
weird sense of humor. In person, Gibson 
seemed like а nice, cheery fellow, a one-of- 
the-guys type who just happened to appear 
in a few big films and became a star who 
could command many millions for a couple 
months’ work. 

“For journalists, Gibson has long been a 
challenge, claiming that he wants to keep his 
life as private as possible. We arranged to 
talk for two hours the first day and two more 
the next. We wound up talking for eight 
hours over those two days and had another 
session after that. He kept saying how much 
he disliked being interviewed, but only once 
did he ask to go off the record. 

“The result is a surprisingly no-holds- 
barred conversation with a man who has not 
revealed himself in quite this way before. 
Gibson is full of controversial opinions and 
loves raunchy humor. And despite the fact 
that such attitudes can get you into trouble 


in these politically correct times, he proved to 
be refreshingly fearless.” 


PLAYBOY: Here are some of the things 
we've heard about you: You can be 
weird. Off-the-wall. Irreverent. Unpre- 
dictable. Insecure. Fearful. Inarticulate. 
GIBSON: All of the above are true. And 
that’s not the half of it. 

PLAYBOY: You mean we're going to get in- 
to some interesting stuff here? 

GIBSON: We're all a strange bunch of dif- 
ferent and contradictory bits. Im no 
closer to explaining who | am than any- 
one else is. 

PLAYBOY: The director of Maverick and 
Lethal Weapon, Richard Donner, has said 
that you have a lot of anger and hostility 
and that underneath, you're a tough son 
of a bitch. 

GIBSON: I don’t know. I get pretty dark 
sometimes, pretty bleak. But that passes. 
I rarely lose my temper anymore. 
PLAYBOY: Which means you have lost it in 
the past. 

GIBSON: You've got to get it out. I used to 
just hang on to it and then some little 
thing would set it off, which was stupid. 
You behave like an asshole when you 
lose it, and you feel like an asshole after- 
ward, It’s not healthy. 

PLAYBOY: Has it angered you over the 
years to be accused of promoting vio- 
lence with the Lethal Weapon and Mad 
Max films? 

GIBSON: I'm sorry, I don't go with the ar- 
gument there. These things have been 
around forever. Just look at the Roman 
circus. They used to put people out 
there and have wild donkeys dance on 
them. Look at some of the Jacobean 
tragedies. And Shakespeare’s Hamlet 
and Macbeth—these are fairly violent 
plays. No one has ever accused them of 
being responsible for our social evils. 
But, boy, if they're saying that about my 
earlier films, they ain't seen nothing yet. 
PLAYBOY: In other words, wait until they 
see Braveheart? 

GIBSON: Oh yeah. It's rough. Some of it's 
very hard to watch. One battle is about 
20 minutes long—we shot 100,000 feet 
of film. Before we shot it I watched every 
battle movie I could lay my hands on— 
and noticed they all get muddy and 
murky, but who cares? [ wanted to show 
what it was like to be in the middle of a 
13th century slugfest. It was pandemoni- 
um. People being whacked by mistake by 
their own guys, horses falling on people. 
I've got а scene where a horse just flies 
over the top of these guys’ heads. Гуе 
never seen anything like it on film. 
PLAYBOY: What drew you to the story of 
William Wallace’s attempt to drive the 
British out of Scotland? 

GIBSON; I read the script in one sitting. 
I thought, Oh Jesus, I'm too old to do 
this. I hemmed and hawed and walked 
around it, but I just couldn't forget it, it 
was so dynamic. Wallace's legend is alive 


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оне HARE td Des eens re Sem НО ГОО e gn ar ao 
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yauıseROGARE H, however yo experience any a the posable side eects isted above, spusrg ЮСАМЕ and сутй! your dco. Alai 
oues ii ROGAN vas ше пата nemer sored tan fener neu 

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фла Ths kindi danagehas rot been seen тутип: gven mironi talets or Pod pressure ellc diss 
What factors may increase the risk of serious side effects with ROGAINE? 

People with a known or suspected heart condition ora tendency forhean tailure would be at particular risk if increased haart rate or fluid retention were to occur. 
People with these kindsol hear problems should discuss the possible risks of treatment with their босдогїі they choose to use ROGAINE. 

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Can people withbighblod pressure use ROGAINE? 

Most people with high blood pressure, ircluding these tating high bood pressure medicine, can use ROGAINE but should be monitored closely bytheir docar. 
Pats tainga boo ese тейге cle gunelhûne rot se GAN 

any precautions be followed? 
People whoure ROGAINE shoud soo ther doctor 1 month te starting ROGAINEandat ast every mans here. Stap using ROGAINE any othe flowing 
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Ar there specialprecauns lor women? 

‘Pregnant women and nursing mothers shouldnot ze ROGAINE. Nec, its ets on women during labor and delivery are not known. Efficacy in posmeropsusal 
worenhasrl ben side! uses stow reuse RÜGANE vil Нея mensa cce eth, amount cf fow, te блато ее parad. 
EEE as soon as possible it your menstrual репой does nat occur at the expected tme, 

Can ROGAINE be used by children? 

Ni безеу and af emeres OCA has rot been esti penple underage 18 

(Caution: Federal law prohibits dispensing without a prescuption. You must see a doctor to receive г prescription, 


EEN | усе" 


The Upchn Company. Kalamazca М 49001. USA CBS 


and well in Scotland. A lot of it is amaz- 
ing shit. Whether it’s true or not I don’t 
know, but it certainly is colorful. He was 
kind of a monster—his main hobby was 
killing Englishmen. He just hated them. 
He started knocking ‘em off when he 
was 27. They caught him, threw him in 
jail and tried to starve him to death. He 
was in a prison dungeon for two months 
without food. He apparently found God 
in jail and became very religious. When 
they thought he was dead they threw 
him out into the moat. А woman found 
him and nursed him back to health on 
her breast milk. 

PLAYBOY: That should make for an inter- 
esting scene in the film. 

GIBSON: 1 would have liked to have 
filmed that, but 16$ not in there. But 
what is there is totally uncompromising: 
The story is uncompromising, and the 
way I filmed it is uncompromising. The 
camera is always moving. I didn’t want 
anything to stand still. It’s about as sub- 
Че as а sledgehammer in your face. 
PLAYBOY: Wallace was not only hanged, 
but also drawn and quartered. Will that 
be shown? 

GIBSON; Not graphically. For a character 
to be dispatched in such a manner is 
pretty hard for an American audience, 
which prefers hearts and flowers. Amer- 
icans don't like to see something that 
isn't a happy, happy. happy ending. 
Which is OK. The challenge here was to 
actually have someone hanged. drawn 
and quartered and still have it be beauti- 
ful and uplifting. 

PLAYBOY: Your publicist has compared 
the film to Ben-Hur. How does that sit 
with you? 

GIBSON: Не has to—he's being paid. I 
have heard it compared to David Lean's 
work. 

PLAYBOY: Lawrence of Arabia? 

GIBSON: You know, it’s that story. History 
repeats itself. It's that person who rises 
up and is the head of an army that fol- 
lows him into hideous places, and he 
comes out with something. 

PLAYBOY: Wallace of Scotland? 

GIBSON: Mad Mac [laughs]. 

PLAYBOY: How does this one compare 
with Hamlet, which you've said was the 
hardest thing you'd ever done? 

GIBSON: This was harder. И physically 
kicked the shit out of me. Mentally, too. 
It’s also some of the best acting work I've 
ever done because it was totally thrown 
away. That's all I had the time and ener- 
gy todo. 

PLAYBOY: You mean because you were di- 
recting and producing as well as acting? 
GIBSON: Right. I found that I didn’t in- 
dulge myselfat all. It's nice to realize you 
don't have to. 

PLAYBOY: Do you like wearing so many 
different hats? 

GIBSON: Yeah. Not so much from a busi- 
ness standpoint—I'm somewhat of a fis- 
cal imbecile. But there’s a lot of pleasure 


in the creative things, and the fact that 
you can make them happen. 

PLAYBOY: How many projects does your 
company, Icon Productions, have in de- 
velopment right now? 

GIBSON: Quite a few, maybe 16. 

PLAYBOY: Do you plan to produce all your 
own pictures? 

GIBSON: That would be ideal. But I was 
sent something from one of the studios 
the other day that somebody else is di- 
recting and producing. If I like it, ГИ 
just take my five bucks and do it. 
PLAYBOY: Which is what you did as the 
voice of John Smith in Pocahontas. 
GIBSON: Yeah. I read something about 
Disney having real problems with people 
saying it's not historically accurate. I'm 
thinking, Historically accurate? My God, 
there's a fucking raccoon that talks in 
this. What do they want? 

PLAYBOY: Did it take much to persuade 
you to do it? 

GIBSON: Not really, I just felt like it. 
There were a couple of songs in which I 
yodeled a bit. 

PLAYBOY: Did you do it for your kids? 
GIBSON: That's basically it. 

PLAYBOY Did you get a decent deal? 
Robin Williams felt screwed by Disney 
afier he did the genie's voice in Aladdin. 
GIBSON: They screw everybody. You've 
got to know that going in. I'm not going 
to quibble about bucks. | never do. I 
wouldn't say they screwed me, but I 


knew what I was getting into. 

PLAYBOY: Does the character look any- 
thing like you? 

GIBSON: I've seen pictures of him. He's a 
bit more angular and younger than I 
am. More statuesque. What they do is 
put a video camera on you while you're 
doing your dialogue. They get your fa- 
cial expressions and start playing with 
those. They're very clever. 

PLAYBOY: You're supposed to be clever as 
a mimic and impressionist. 

GIBSON: Yeah, I can do anyone. 

PLAYBOY. Anthony Hopkins told us he 
can, 100. 

GIBSON: He's fucking funny. His imita- 
tions of voices are really quite wonder- 
ful. І can do him, but he doesn't know it. 
PLAYBOY: Since you acted together in The 
Bounty, he probably does you as well. 
GIBSON: | don't know if he deems me 
worthy to do. 

PLAYBOY: At that time, 11 years ago. he 
probably didn't. He said he felt you were 
in danger of blowing it unless you start- 
ed taking care of yourself Were you 
pretty out of control then? 

GIBSON: Yeah, I was wacko. We were out 
there in the trees, in the middle of a vol- 
cano, in the middle of French Polynesia, 
with bad food and an endless supply of 
alcohol—a bunch of randy young men 
going to Club Med. We'd get smashed 
and go on the Club Med stage and pull 
down our pants. 


PLAYBOY: That must have gone over big. 
GIBSON: You have to realize that they've 
got about 180 bouncers, Polynesian 
dudes with shoulders four ax handles 
across, who are there to beat the shit out 
of you. 

PLAYBOY: Wasn't that the time you got in- 
to a fight in a bar and they had to shoot 
only one side of your face because the 
other was badly bruised? 

GIBSON: That was it. It was really stupid. 
1 have a self-destructive tendency. 
PLAYBOY: Did you also get a tattoo on 
your ass? 

SON: I was going to, then I just said, 
“Dumb idea. ГИ never be able to show 
my ass again.” 

PLAYBOY: What kind of tattoo would you 
have gotten? 

GIBSON: One of those Polynesian circular 
jobs. The guy was going to do it the old- 
fashioned way—hammer it in. No elec- 
tricity necessary. 

My father had told me about some 
friends of his on leave during World War 
Two who went to Hawaii, got drunk and 
got tattooed in the same parlor. They all 
got leprosy. I don’t know whether that 
was an urban myth, a French Polynesian 
myth, an island myth, ога hit-and-myth. 
PLAYBOY: We were warned about your 
puns. Didn't you get to meet Laurence 
г during The Bounty? 

GIBSON: I met him, though I did not 
have any scenes with him. He did that 


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55 


РЕАУВОУ 


backhanded compliment thing: very 
pleasant, shook hands, “Where are you 
from?” I said, “Australia.” He said, “Ah, 
colonial.” Just . . . a little thing. 

PLAYBOY: He probably would have said 
the same thing if you'd said the U.S. 
Though drinking and drunken behavior 
are perhaps more closely associated with 
Australia. 

GIBSON: Yeah, it's a whole culture in Aus- 
tralia. Drinking is a cultural pastime, 
and its required. So you indulge and 
imbibe. Misbehaving is fun. 

PLAYBOY: Until you're looking at fists in 
your face. 

GIBSON: Onc time I got a bad thrashing. 
I was ata party and three dudes worked 
me over severely. I woke up in the 
bloody hospital with head stitches, a 
busted nose, my jaw off the hook, peeing 
blood. I was a fucking mess. 

PLAYBOY: Why did they do it? 

GIBSON: I just didn’t get on with them. I 
didn't even know who they were. I was 
having an altercation with one guy who 
was not digging me and whom 1 wasn't 
digging. Then, you know how you hear 
that voice saying, “Hey! What are you 
doing?” and all you see are knuckles? 
Wall, some guy to my side just hauled off 
and cracked me one. Drove me right in- 
to the wall, and then he followed up with 
three more, bang, bang, bang! My lip 
was stuck on my bottom teeth. I spat out 
a great big hunk of meat and I could see 
my nose growing in front of my eyes. I 
got up and said. “What the fuck did you 
do that for?” He said, “Sorry about that, 
mate.” I thought, Jesus, what an asshole. 
So I went for him: I got him with a good 
one right in his nose, but I didn't see 
much after that. It was lights out. Three 
guys on me like fucking crazy. 

PLAYBOY: Did you learn anything from 
that experience? 

GIBSON: That that's never going to hap- 
pen to me again. If anybody even looks 
at me sideways, I'm cracking first. Just 
devastate him—and don't get him once, 
get him a few times. Make sure he can't 
get up and do anything to me. 

PLAYBOY: Wasn't that beating just before 
you auditioned for Mad Max? 

GIBSON: The audition was a week later. 1 
was still a mess. 

PLAYBOY: It probably helped you get the 
part. Of the three Mad Max films, which 
is your favorite? 

GIBSON: I like the second one, The Road 
Warrior. Is a great film. It sull holds up 
because it’s so basic. It was the early Clint 
Eastwood principle of the Man With No 
Name. Didn't require any dialogue. Let 
the film do the talking. It’s about ener- 
gy—it didn’t spare anyone: people flying 
under wheels, a girl gets it, a dog gets it, 
everybody gets it. It was the first Mad 
Max but done better The third one 
didn't work at all. 

PLAYBOY: Do you consider those films vi- 
olent or just comical? 


56 GIBSON: I laughed with them. They're 


straight out of a Chuck Jones cartoon. 
The kid with the boomerang that 
chopped off people's fingers, 1 thought 
that was very funny. It reminded me of 
one of those Warner Bros. cartoons. 
PLAYBOY: Besides Road Warrior you made 
two films that came out in 1981. One, 
Gallipoli, was highly praised, and the 
other, Attack Force Z, was something 
you'd probably like to forget. 

GIBSON: Gallipoli was a good film, and 
Peter Weir isa great director, like George 
Miller. I kicked off my career working 
with two of the world’s greatest directors 
from home. How come those guys were 
there? Of course, at the time I didn't 
know who they were, but I realized pret- 
ty quickly that they were special. There's 
something mystical about the way that 
Weir achieves a mood, an ambience, 
atmosphere. 

PLAYBOY: Was there anything mystical 
about Attack Force Z? 

GIBSON: That’s where I ate dog and 
something else very strange. I did that 
one for the money. It was a great six- 
month holiday in Taipei. 

PLAYBOY: What kind of dog did you eat? 
GIBSON: It was a black dog. I asked if 
there was any reason it was black and ap- 
parently black dogs arc preferred. It was 
illegal. It wasn't a puppy, but it wasn't an 
old dog, either. And it was delicious. 
‘Tasted like rabbit. 

PLAYBOY: What was the other strange 
thing you ate? 

GIBSON: After a rugged night. a guy took 
us to a Japanese restaurant that he 
owned. He wasa big movie star in Taipei 
and he owned restaurants and brothels. 
We drank this stuff called Green Bam- 
boo Leaf liquor and got absolutely ass- 
holed. It was 130 proof, like paint re- 
mover, man. The next morning I had a 
headache you couldn't believe, so he 
took me to this marketplace and got me 
a bowl of soup. It was a slightly murky 
broth with what looked like the en- 
docrine glands and digestive tract of a 
small animal, the intact esophagus, liver, 
lungs, pancreas, intestines and adrenal 
glands. I never knew what it was, but it 
was delicious. I ate it all and felt great 
afterward. They know something, the 
Chinese. 

PLAYBOY: Did that experience slow you 
down? 

GIBSON: Nah, are you kidding? I had a 
long career ahead of me. I got in some 
law trouble once—got arrested for driv- 
ing real drunk. It was a humiliating 
experience. 

PLAYBOY: This was in Toronto, wasn't it? 
When you ran a red light and hit anoth- 
er car during the making of Mrs. Sofjel? 
GIBSON; Yeah, the police dragged me їп. 
‘They put me in the back of their truck. I 
couldn't get out. No door handles on the 
inside. It was a horrible feeling. I was 
kicking the grille. yelling and screaming, 
"Let me the fuck out of here, you moth- 
erfuckers.” I used every foul name I 


could think of. This guy turned around 
and looked at me dead calm and said, 
"Shut the fuck up or ГИ beat the shir out 
of you." He was like 64" and I could see 
me getting ту head knocked off. 1 was 
deeply upset. Your freedom is gone, 
you're in this cage, you can't believe 
these guys are dragging you off. I got 
fingerprinted. 
PLAYBOY: And after they found out who 
you were, did you spend the night? 
GIBSON: No, they gave me a lift home. 
PLAYBOY: What did you think of your co- 
star, Diane Keaton? 
GIBSON: She was generous and warm, 
but I never really got to know her. She 
used to ask me to tell her stories between 
shots. I told her a really disgusting one 
with the horrific title of Shit Blisters. She 
sat across the table going, “That's the 
most disgusting thing I've ever heard.” 
But I think she thought it was funny. It 
came to me from someone else, so I 
don't know whether it's true or not. 
PLAYBOY: Want to tell us the story? 
GIBSON: It was a sexual-deviant thing 
with people who pushed the envelope as 
far as sexual practices went. It's beyond 
crapping on glass-top tables or anything 
like that. They would get hypodermics 
full of shit and pump a few grams un- 
der their skin. The real fun happened 
a week later for the coming-out party 
when these welts would grow and then 
fester. That's it ina nutshell. I don’t want 
to get into it too much, but apparently 
there was a whole cult of people over in 
Helsinki or someplace and they used to 
indulge in these practices. 
PLAYBOY: You sound like you believe this 
actually happened. 
GIBSON: I don't know—it's feasible. Or 
fecesable. 
PLAYBOY: Thanks for that, Mel. Let's 
move on. What do you think when you 
hear about your co-stars, like Keaton or 
Sigourney Weaver, calling you one of the 
handsomest men they've seen? 
GIBSON: Hey, they don't tell me that 
stuff! 
PLAYBOY: But you read about it all the 
time, your good looks, the women who 
go nuts over you. How do you handle 
the groupies or the personal letters you 
must get? 
GIBSON: Anything like that you have to 
look at with suspicion. Invitations scrib- 
bled on napkins or cards—from time to 
time that happens, and you might think, 
boy, it's everybody's dream. But it's not. 
It's scary, Because you don't know who 
the hell they are. And before you became 
famous that never happened. Also, it 
doesn't happen all thg time. They're not 
exactly jumping out of the woodwork. It 
probably happens to Al Pacino more 
than me. I come to work, I go home. 
Nothing happens on the freeway, no- 
body throws herself in front of my 
bumper. 
PLAYBOY: But when someone does get 
(continued on page 68) 


WHAT SORT ОЕ MAN READS PLAYBOY? 


The sort who knows that hanging out is one of summer's most productive pastimes. He gets many of 
his best ideas when he’s not even looking, particularly when with a spirited companion. He treasures 
his leisure, and relies on PLAYBOY as his guide to recreation. One in seven men who play tennis, sail 
ог go fishing reads PLAYBOY. In any season, his free time 1$ too precious to waste with anything Y 
but the best. PLAYBOY is what keeps him swinging—all year long. (Source: Spring 1994 MRI. 


58 


MENENDEZ 
CONFIDENTIAL 


anticipating life 

without o.j.? lyle and 

erik are headed back to 
court for their retrial. 
here are all the odd facts, 
bizarre characters and 
untold stories you need 

to appreciate round two— 
including, of course, 

a cameo by o.j. himself 


By ROBERT RAND 


THE CASE OF THE MISSING GUNS 


n an early March afternoon, Lyle 

Menendez drove a buddy along Mul- 

holland Drive pointing out the luxu- 

rious homes of Jack Nicholson, War- 

ren Beatty and Marlon Brando. Seven 
months had passed since his wealthy parents, 
Jose and Kitty, were shotgunned to death on a 
‘quiet Sunday evening in August 1989 in Bever- 
ly Hills. And it would be another three years 
before then 22-year-old Lyle and his 19-year- 
old brother, Erik, would publicly confess to 
their killing. Their trial, which dominated 
Court TV for months, resulted in a double 
hung jury. During the drive along Mulholland, 
Lyle casually mentioned that “we dumped two. 
shotguns and a pistol down the side there re- 
cently.” As his friend squirmed in his seat, Lyle 
explained that his parents’ deaths might have 
been a Mafia hit and that he and Erik had 
bought two shotguns to protect themselves. 
But realizing they were the primary suspects, 
the brothers decided it might look suspicious 
and dumped the guns in the heavily wooded 
area. Of course, there had been no Mafia hit 
and Lyle was engaging in some odd revisionist 
history. What had really happened was this: 


ILLUSTRATION BY STASYS EIDRIGEVICIUS 


PLAYBOY 


The brothers had tossed a pair of 
freshly fired shotguns down a steep 
canyon the night they killed their par- 
ents. Lyle anxiously returned a few 
days later hoping to retrieve the 
weapons, but scavengers had apparent- 
ly already found them. 


THE GREAT ESCAPE 


Lyle and Erik had chosen a secret 
spot for a rendezvous. The special place 
was in Greece, high on a cliff over- 
looking the Aegean Sea. Lyle told sev- 
eral dose friends that they would be 
able to contact him there if he ever 
disappeared. 

“Three months after the Menendez 
brothers arrest, sheriff's deputies dis- 
covered that some links on the two-foot 
chain Lyle wore to and from court 
had been partially cut. A strip search 
turned up nothing, but a search of 
their cells was more productive. 
Deputy Robert Birkett reported that 
he found “an escape contingency plan 
with information on countries that had 
extradition plans.” 

As if the brothers needed more trou- 
ble, Lyle actually titled one document 
“Key Questions” and wrote down such 
concerns as “How will they be looking 
for us? Can we get an appearance 
change? How do our girlfriends fit in?” 
Other papers mentioned “safe houses” 
and listed various entries: “three pass- 
puits with different names. Need fe 
nances. Need silencer. Extradition.” 

As it turned out, the plot was merely 
a paper tiger. It was found that the 
brothers had no part in cutting the 
chains. After accusing the Menendezes 
of attempted escape, the sheriff’s de- 
partment recanted. The escape plans 
were never mentioned during the trial. 


THE ABUSE EXCUSE IS BORN 


In early summer 1990, a few months 
after Lyle and Erik were arrested, 
Leslie Abramson, Erik's attorney, con- 
tacted Dr. William Vicary, a renowned 
forensic psychiatrist. Dr. Vicary has de- 
grees from Harvard Law School and 
the University of Southern California 
Medical School. In addition to con- 
ducting psychiatric evaluations for the 
Los Angeles County Superior Court 
system, he has run a sex offender treat- 
ment program at USC. 

Abramson asked Vicary to “get in- 
volved—do your thing,” which meant 
to spend time with the Menendez 
brothers and form a professional opin- 
ion. He already had an opinion based 
on what he knew from the media. 
“When I started, I completely accepted 
the prosecution's theory of the case,” 
he recalls. “I thought they were rich 
kids who were pissed off at their over- 
bearing, oppressive parents. They 
Killed so they could go on with their 


lives and have the money.” But as a 
psychiatrist, he knew children rarely 
kill their parents. And when they do, 
they often have been victims of terri- 
ble abuse. 

Vicary had a hunch that the father, 
Jose Menendez, was going to turn out 
to be a monster. But he was puzzled by 
the mother, Kitty. “It’s rare when kids 
kill their mother. I couldn't believe Kit- 
ty had been doing nasty, rotten things 
to her own children,” he said. “Itshows 
my own naivete.” 

A week after Abramson called, Vic- 
ary was face-to-face with Lyle and Erik. 
The first few minutes were awkward. 
“There’s no point in beating around 
the bush,” Abramson said. “We have a 
tough situation and Dr. Vicary is here 
to help us. We all know you guys did it. 
Isn't that right?" Everybody smiled ex- 
cept Vicary. 

His sessions with Erik took place in a 
iterview room down the hall from 
5 nine-by-seven-foot cell. With the 
door of the room closed to shut out the 
constant din of the jail, the tempera- 
ture in the room felt as if it were 100 
degrees. Vicary occasionally took notes 
as he sat across from Erik, who was 
chained to a chair. 

During the sessions, Erik described 
Jose as a “mental manipulator.” Kitty 
“loved us but hated us.” She yelled to 
her sons that she wished “they'd never 
been bum.” Juse repeatedly told the 
brothers what he could've done “if I 
had your start.” They “grew to hate 
him.” At one point, Jose told Lyle and 
Erik he had “disinherited and dis- 
owned them.” 

Vicary believes both brothers were 
emotionally immature, many years be- 
hind their peers. “Erik was probably a 
person about 8 to 12—somewhere in 
that range. Lyle was a little more ad- 
vanced, but from an emotional point of 
view, he was probably in the 12 to 14 
age range. Both of them were very im- 
mature from a psychological perspec- 
tive, Both knew how to conduct them- 
selves in a superficial way to avoid 
sticking out from other people. 

Late one night in his cell, Erik was 
startled by someone speaking to him. It 
was his father's voice. It sounded “like 
a stone, like the devil" and he told Vic- 
ary he would “do anything not to hear 
it again.” Sometimes the voice would 
whisper to him in a dream. But on oth- 
er occasions it would scream, “You're 
stupid!” “You're not worthy of being a 
Menendez!” or “It’s your fault!” just as 
his father had in real life. 

When it came to patients hearing 
voices, Vicary found this persuasive. 
“Real patients tell you it’s like someone 
is in the room standing next to them 
talking,” says Vicary. “The people who 
make it up talk about voices inside 


their heads.” To Erik, it sounded as if 
his father were right next to him, an 
actual presence in his cell 

Erik frequently became emotional, 
shaking and crying during their mect- 
ings. Vicary was surprised during their 
eleventh session when Erik said being 
in jail was “relaxing, like a vacation.” 
‘There was one other thing he was re- 
lieved about: “Now we don't have to suc- 
ceed,” he said about his and Lyle's lives. 

A frustrated Abramson sometimes 
became agitated with Vicary on the 
phone. “What's happening? Why can't 
you get more?” she demanded. “We 
need the answers.” The mystery began 
to unravel during Erik and Vicary’s 
26th meeting. Erik spoke about his 
cousin Andy Cano, his best friend from 
the ages of ten to 14. According to Erik, 
Andy “knew about the problems with 
my father.” In recent weeks, Erik con- 
stantly woke up crying in his cell after 
dreaming about his parents. “M, I hate 
you,” Erik had said, according to Vic- 
ary's notes. “Found out one week prior 
to killings M knew F molested Erik.” 

After that, the details poured out of 
Erik. “F not having sex with М. . .. Age 
five to six F massaged sore musdes 
from sports . . . eventually told me to 
turn over... massaged my реп... 
told me it was a tension release . . . oral 
sex since seven or eight. .. asked me to 
give him massage and oral sex . . . 
sudumy al age IT... I ciel out, but nu 
one was home .. . I was torn apart 
inside.” 

“It was difficult,” Erik tearfully relat- 
ed to Vicary. “My father told me over 
and over he'd beat me to death if I told 
anyone. I was afraid he'd hurt me, kill 
me or not love me.” 

Enik had been afraid to say no. Lyle 
was furious when Erik revealed his mo- 
lestation to Lyle a few days before the 
killings. “That's it,” proclaimed Lyle. 
Erik said his brother insisted on con- 
fronting their father. Jose warned Lyle 
not to challenge his authority. “I had 
no pity for my mother when I found 
out she knew what my father was do- 
ing to me,” Erik told Vicary. "I was 
ashamed of it all my life.” 


"THE D.A’S SHRINKING SHRINKS, 


Why didn't prosecutors put their 
own psychological experts on the stand 
to counter the defense? "I'm not going 
to answer that,” lead prosecutor Pam- 
ela Bozanich said at a press conference 
following the mistrial. The decision not 
to rebut the molestation claims was 
clearly a tactical error. 

Unknown to the public, prosecutors 
had two doctors in the courtroom lis- 
tening to every word of Lyle's and 
Erik's testimony. Dr. Saul Faerstein is 
a forensic psychiatrist who teaches at 

(continued on page 74) 


We see you! We see you!” 


РНОТОСКАРНУ ВУ 
STEPHEN WAYDA 


ROM THE balcony of 


her apartment in Los Angeles, Sandra 
Taylor has a full view of the Pacific 
Ocean. But her eyes are headed in anoth- 
er direction now: She has picked out the 
Hollywood home of Oliver Stone and 
confesses an ambition to work with direc- 
tors of his caliber. “Pm not here by mis- 
take,” says the model-turned-actress, who 
arrived in movieland from Port Chester, 
New York. “I have a goal, a strategy, a 
plan.” Her early fame was based on still 
photography: Her sexy poster and pin- 
up calendars were hot sellers. From there 
she moved on to MTV and a Def Lep- 
pard video, then landed a role in Garry 
Marshall's bondage comedy Exit to Eden. 
The woman with a plan now moves on- 
ward and upward to Steven Seagal's 
Under Siege 2: Dark Territory. She plays an 
imperiled bartender on a train who may. 
or may not, die in the line of duty. 

“We filmed it both ways,” says Sandra. 
Whatever her character's fate, Sandra’s 


career is thriving —TOM GREEN 


with а killer role 
in under siege 2, sandra 
taylor is on her way в 


A 


Sandra's pal (and fellaw poster star) Fabia coaxed her to move fram New York ta Las Angeles to boast her career. She left behind ane- 


time flame Donald Trump ond fan Howard Stern, who—ever the gentleman—once pleaded for a private glimpse of Sandra's charms. 
She declined. What the shock jock yearned for, Sandro now willingly presents for PLAYBOY readers’ pleasure. Eat your heart out, Howard. 


PLAYBOY 


68 


MEL GIBSON „нев 56 


He deserves death. He attacked me at an elemental 
level. He’s lucky he’s still walking. 


your attention, are you tempted? 
GIBSON: Everyone is—isn't that the hu- 
man condition? But all those things 


GIBSON: Your life changes. 1 don't 
know if it’s that easy to explain the phe- 
nomenon of celebrity. It's something 
you have to learn to live with. The by- 
products of stardom can spoil you. It 
has aspects that are not pleasant. I can't 
be like I was anymore. There's no need 
to beat myself up over it because I've 
been through that process. What hap- 
pened to me was that I was pissed off 
that fame wasn’t what it should have 
been. It's like a lot of nastiness is associ- 
ated with it. There are a lot of nasty 
people, and then there's the dishon- 
esty. So you have to become very pro- 
tective in the way you view things. You 
have to change your whole plan of 
existence, 

PLAYBOY: What other problems did be- 
coming famous cause you? 

GIBSON: There are people who try to 
grab on and go through the gate with 
you, because they can’t do it them- 
selves. You find alot of people interact- 
ing or doing things for not very good 
reasons. $о you have to deal with ass- 
holes. Not everybodys an asshole, 
though sometimes you wonder. 
PLAYBOY: How uncomfortable does it 
get for you? 

GIBSON: There was an article in the Los 
Angeles Times telling where my kids go 
to school. That makes me very ner- 
vous. That makes you want to ask the 
reporter what his head's made of. 
PLAYBOY: We can understand why that 
makes you angry. 

GIBSON: Newspapers make me mad be- 
cause they lie. About everything. When 
I watch news programs I just get livid, 
because they're not fair. They don't tell 
the truth about anything. 

PLAYBOY: Is the European press more 
scandalous than the American press? 
GIBSON: Yeah. The British press is hei- 
nous. They love their smut. The Amer- 
ican press has a category for it on the 
supermarket shelf. But the British 
press, their regular newspapers are 
like that, You don't know what's going 
on in the country, but you know who's 
fucking who. Whether it’s true or not is 
another thing. And then there's the 11 
o'clock news here, which tells you un- 
truths. It drives me crazy. It’s like the 
O.J. Simpson thing—I can't watch it 


105 disgusting. And that makes me 
mad, It's 1984: "Lers all put up a 
figure of hatred. There's the villain.” 
And they vent all their anger and their 
rage on O.J. 

PLAYBOY: There may already be a ver- 
dict by the time this interview appears, 
but without knowing what that might 
be, do you have an opinion of what will 
happen to O.J.? 

GIBSON: 1 think they'll put him in jail 
for a long time. I don't think he'll get 
off. It’s been great for the politicians 
and the president, because it’s taken 
the heat off them. I find it disgusting. 
The main winners here are the people 
who have other agendas that they don’t 
want to be too public about. Whitewa- 
ter or whatever. It’s all been brushed 
aside because this is the biggest thing. 
PLAYBOY: Well, let's put the spotlight on 
you. 

GIBSON: I hate talking about me and 
what I believe. I always find it to be 
painful. It’s like making a large target 
out of yourself. You make yourself very 
vulnerable. 

pLarsor: Has this been painful so far? 
GIBSON: Yeah. I'm just feeling like, 
Why am I saying all this stuff? One al- 
ways tries to maintain some sense of 
mystery. That’s why these damn things 
are so painful, because you are giving 
a little more away. This is not a natural 
situation 

PLAYBOY: Are you sorry that you're do- 
ing this? 

GIBSON: I probably will be when I read 
it. I get real weird afterward. I'll prob- 
ably drop out someplace and hide. 
PLAYBOY: Have you ever considered 
writing a book to get your story out the 
way you want it? 

GIBSON: No, other people do them for 
me. And they just make it up. One of 
them, Jesus Christ! I have 10 pray for 
the guy who did it so 1 don't kill him. 
Because the motherfucker hasn't got 
any balls. He's a pussy and 1 hope I 
never meet him, because I'd tear his 
fucking face right off! He's one of those 
tabloid-press low-life scumbags from 
England who's making a buck. There's 
a lot of money to be made in unautho- 
rized biographies. 

PLAYBOY: Which is why they get written. 
GIBSON: But, you know, when you read 
this one you say, “My God, you know 
what he's done? He's written a book 
about himself” Thats what he did. 
Then I started to feel sorry for him. 
PLAYBOY: But not sorry enough to for- 


give him if you meet him? 
GIBSON: I don't think God will put him 
in my path. He deserves death. He at- 
tacked me at an elemental level. He at- 
tacked my wife, my family, my father, 
my whole being. He's lucky he's still 
walking. He's geuing to you in the 
most underhanded, nasty way, threat- 
ening everything you have, everything 
you are, saying that you're a worthless 
piece of shit. And that the people who 
gave birth to you are scumbags and re- 
ally nasty people. And everyone you've 
ever met or touched you trampled on 
and fucked over. And that you're weird 
and warped and it’s like you are fuck- 
ing Hitler. I'm Hitler and my dad is 
Mussolini! 
PLAYBOY: Did your dad read the book? 
GIBSON: Yeah, he did. 
PLAYBOY: What did he say? 
GIBSON: He doesn't give a hoot. It bugs 
the shit out of me, but it doesn't both- 
er him. 
PLAYBOY. Your dad's an unusual man, 
isn't Ве? 
GIBSON: He's just a regular guy who 
worked long hours, supported a big 
family and kept us all in shoes and 
food. 
PLAYBOY: That's a pretty brief summa- 
tion of a man who went from working 
on a railroad to winning on Jeopardy to 
moving his family to Australia. What 
else can you tell us about him? 
GIBSON: He didnt get to know his 
mother because she was dead by the 
time he was two. He lived through the 
Depression with a father who was dy- 
ing and a brother who was a fuckup. 
Goes off to Guadalcanal in World War 
Two, gets the Purple Heart for some- 
thing—he doesn’t talk about it much. 
In the meantime, he goes to а seminary 
because he’s very spiritual. Comes 
back, gets married, has children. 
Writes books about canon law and 
Catholicism. 
PLAYBOY: Have you read them? 
GIBSON: Yeah. He is pretty sound 
canonically and theologically. He's a 
bookish guy. Uses words I've never 
heard of. 
PLAYBOY: What does he have to do with 
the Alliance for Catholic Tradition, 
which one magazine called “ап ex- 
treme conservative Catholic splinter 
group”? 
GIBSON: He started it. Some people say 
it’s extreme, but it emphasizes what the 
institution was and where it's going. 
Everything he was taught to believe 
was taken from him in the Sixties with 
this renewal Vatican Council. The 
whole institution became unrecogniz- 
able to him, so he writes about it. 
PLAYBOY: Is it true that he took your 
family ю Australia during the height 
of the Vietnam war because he didn't 
(continued on page 136) 


“Гт properly warmed up. How about you?” 


Fashion Ву 


WHEN rr comes to Americana, Hawaiian shirts rank with hot dogs and ap- 
ple pie. Born сис of rebellion, their spirited history dates back to the days 
when Western missionaries insisted that the natives cover their “heathen 
nakedness.” Rather than copy the drab clothing of their new uptight 
neighbors, Hawaiians used vegetable dyes to hand-paint Polynesian mo- 
ЧЁ on work shirts and other garments. The colorful styles soon became 
coveted souvenirs, with a celebrity following that ranged from Elvis to 
Eisenhower. Today, authentic Hawaiian “aloha shirts” are valuable col- 
lectibles that sell for as much as $6000 each. Of course, anyone who wants 
to hang loose for less can pick up vintage copies that replicate the originals 


right down to the coconut-shell buttons. Wear one under a sports jacket 


for dress-down Fridays or with khaki pants or shorts on the weekend. 


а@ аад 


ГТ о ЕЕ | ао зов оо во ооо в онооно ево воно товоо воно вов оооско 


Е = 


ONCE THE TREASURE OF PRESIDENTS AND POP 


STARS, HAWAIIAN SHIRTS ARE BACK WITH VINTAGE 


DETAILS AND ISLAND MOTIFS THAT ADD COLOR 


o 


AND CHARACTER TO YOUR CASUAL SUMMER DRESS 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY JAMES IMBROGNO 


President Harry Truman, Elvis 
Presley, Tony Curtis and 
Dorathy Lamour are just a 
few of the celebs who made 
the Hawaiian look a hit dur- 


ing the Forties and Fifties. 


shirt is made af silk with co- 
conut-shell butions and а va- 
cationland print that mixes 
modes of travel with Hawai- 

ian culture, by Avanti ($55). 71 


The tropical trappings pictured 
opposite (clockwise from top 
lef) begin with а silk border 
print shirt with beige palm tree 
and volcano motif and coconut- 
shell buttons, by Avanti ($65), а 
Forties remake in rayon with a 
blue ground, sugarcane motif 
and coconut shell buttons, by 
AAArdvork's ($125), an outhen- 
tic rayon tourist shirt circa 1940 
with а nowy ground and a print 
that combines a mop of the 
Howaiian Islands and recre- 
otional octivities, from Golyester 
{about $1500), a cotton and 
rayon shirt with a dark green 
ground ond morlin game-fishing 
motif, by Que ($46), o royon vin- 
toge-style shirt with a yellow 
ground and Treasure Island mo- 
tif feoturing palm trees and 
grass shacks, by GMSurf (about 
$40), and a rayon shirt circa 
1950 with а navy ground and а 
print that mixes pineapples and 
exotic flowers, from Radio Hula 
(about $300). Right: It's all in 
the details, which, i 

this retro-style shi 

small pictures of tiki statues, 
surfers, outrigger canoes and 
other facets of Hawaiian life, by 
Reyn Spooner (about $60). 


WHERE & HOW TO BUY ON PAGE 159. 


PLAYBOY 


74 


MENENDEZ comio ron peso 


One hour into deliberations, all six women voted for 
manslaughter. The six men voted for murder. 


USC and frequently provides expert 
testimony throughout the country. 
Joining Dr. Faerstein was Dr. Spencer 
Eth, an expert in child psychology. 
“They're very thorough, very сопза- 
entious and very confident,” says one 
associate. 

Vicary spoke with Faerstein after the 
trial and says both doctors had doubts 
after they heard the testimony: “It 
doesn't mean they agreed with every- 
thing about the molestation evidence, 
but they weren't willing to try to knock 
it down. They really couldn't be of any 
help. That's why they weren't called.” 

Faerstein has a different recollection 
of their conversation: “I never told 
Vicary 1 bought even а minuscule 
amount of the molestation evidence. 1 
don’t buy it. Categorically, 1 don’t be- 
lieve the story at all. The whole thing 
was fabricated.” He says Vicary is 
“speculating” about his and Dr. Eth's 
positions. 

Vicary contends neither doctor was 
looking forward to confronting him. 
“We all know one another well,” he 
says. “They know I don't make things 
up.” Vicary believes the prospect of 
weathering cross-examination by 
Abramson may have also been a factor. 
“They had no interest in doing that. If 
it had been a different case with less 
able attorneys and less publicity they 
might have been willing to come in and 
do a little nibbling around the edges. 
Inthese big cases, you better be ready.” 

Faerstein says he wasn't afraid of 
Abramson or Jill Lansing, Lyle’s lead 
attorney. He frequently testifies and is 
а veteran of tough cross-examinations. 
But the Menendez prosecution team 
didn’t follow through on a pretrial re- 
quest to have their own experts exam- 
ine the brothers. “I will not testify 
about someone's mental state at the 
ume of the crime if I have not exam- 
ined them, because there are ethical 
concerns,” says Faerstein. 

"Ifthey were molested, it doesn't ex- 
cuse what was done nor providea men- 
tal impairment sufficient to lower the 
level of criminal responsibility even to 
second-degree murder unless the jury 
just feels sorry for them and says we 
won't convict anyone of first-degree 
murder if they have been abused or 
molested.” 


THE TRIAL WITHIN ATRIAL 


The star psychological witness of the 
first Menendez trial will have a greatly 


diminished role the next time around. 
Jerome Oziel, the therapist Erik con- 
fessed to five months before the broth- 
ers were arrested, may not testify. 

Oziel's appearance resulted in a six- 
day cross-examination that exposed 
every detail of the stormy relationship 
with his former mistress, Judalon 
Smyth. After her romance with the psy- 
chologist soured, Smyth went to the 
police in March 1990 and said that she 
had overheard the brothers confess 
to Oziel. Lyle and Erik were arrested 
days later. 

In a lawsuit she filed against Oziel, 
Smyth claimed she was his patient and 
accused him of beating, drugging, kid- 
napping and raping her. But a coun- 
tersuit filed by Oziel and his wife main- 
tained that Smyth was a desperately 
disturbed woman who came into their 
lives and held them hostage in their 
home with a series of threats that in- 
cluded suicide, murder and exposure 
of confidential information about the 
Menendez case. Smyth reportedly re- 
ceived a settlement of between 
$400,000 and $500,000 Пош Оле! 
malpractice insurance. 

On the eve of Smyth’s appearance as 
a defense witness to discredit Oziel, the 
former lovers met in a conference 
room at a Los Angeles law firm. The 
meeting was an attempt to settle a law- 
suit Oziel filed against Vanity Fair writer 
Dominick Dunne and Smyth, whom 
Dunne had quoted extensively (she 
said she'd had with Oziel “the worst sex 
of my life”) in an October 1990 article. 
Oziel settled with Dunne and the mag- 
azine, but not with Smyth. As he was 
leaving the meeting, Smyth charges 
that Oziel pushed against her sugges- 
tively while whispering in her ear, "You 
slut. You know you still want me.” Wit- 
nesses say she spun around and threw 
a glass of water in his face. Oziel denies 
making the remarks to Smyth, and his 
attorney, Raj Patrao, said the incident 
was not an assault but "an unfortunate 
touching of the body at a deposition." 
A suit stemming from the meeting, 
seeking unspecified damages, accuses 
Oziel of battery, negligence and inten- 
tionally inflicting emotional distress. 

This past January, Smyth filed her 
third lawsuit against the therapist, al- 
leging that Oziel's libel suit (which was 
dismissed in February 1994) had been 
filed in order to harass her. According 
to Smyth’s new claim, Oziel's suit 
lacked proper legal grounds and was 


malicious prosecution. While Oziel 
continues to deny any wrongdoing, he 
closed his Beverly Hills therapy prac- 
tice and moved back to his hometown 
of Seattle. 


THE FRANKFURTER CONNECTION 


A single jury will deliberate the fate 
of both brothers in the retrial. At 
Menendez I, Lyle and Erik each had 
their own juries because some evidence 
applied to only one brother. Shurtling 
the parallel panels in and out of the 
tiny courtroom became а logistical 
nightmare that won't be repeated. 

Even though jurors are instructed 
not to consider potential penalties, the 
men on Erik’s panel worried about set- 
ting a precedent. Anything less than a 
first-degree murder conviction, they 
argued, would lead to the widespread 
use of the “abuse excuse” defense. One 
hour into the deliberations, all six 
women on Erik's jury voted for man- 
slaughter. The six men voted for the 
murder charge. 

Even though jury deliberations are 
t, Erik heard with- 
jury was split even- 
ly along gender lines. Some jurors had 
shared the information with the owner 
of a hot dog cart outside the court- 
house. The hot dog vendor told some- 
body else. Within a few hours it was the 
worst kept secretin Van Nuys. 


JUROR VS. JUROR 


In early 1994 jurors sympathetic to 
the defense stayed in touch. Several 
struck up friendships with the brothers 
through jail visits and phone calls and 
one even played chess with Lyle over 
the phone. 

As lawyers began picking the jury for 
O.J. Simpson's trial, there was renewed 
interest from talk show producers in 
jurors who had served on high-profile 
cases. Two Menendez veterans were al- 
ready regulars on the talk circuit, with 
appearances on Donahue, Oprah and 
Prime Time Live. Jude Nelson was an 
outspoken advocate for a first-de, 
murder conviction. The unemployed, 
ponytailed 53-year-old Army veteran 
with three children told a fellow juror 
he'd once been a “psychic to the stars." 
Judy Zamos, a 55-year-old nurse and 
teacher married to an attorney, was 
one of the j rs who believed the 
brothers. Although she was an alter- 
nate juror, other jurors had angrily 
vented their frustrations during delib- 
erations by telling her what was hap- 
pening behind closed doors. Nelson 
and Zamos traded insults while ap- 
pearing on The Maury Povich Show in 
late August 1994. In the opening min- 
utes of the program, Nelson accused 
Zamos of trying to get him kicked off 

(continued on page 76) 


PIRAN BION ОА BERN 


Helmut Newton is renowned for his signature brand of А PLAYBOY contributor for more than two decades, Newton 
kinky eroticism. Born in Berlin, he launched his career with was the natural choice to shoot our January 1991 feature 
British and French Vogue, then earned worldwide notoriety on voyeurism. He defined the concept visually with this vid- 
for his edgy portraits and sexually charged fashion photos. eo fantasy featuring October 1989 Playmate Karen Foster. 75 


PLAYBOY 


76 


MENENDEZ „ал 


Lyle laughed and said, 


“We've snowed half the 


country. Now we have to snow the other half.” 


the jury so she could replace him. “I 
feel that she has absolutely no 
credibility,” he blustered. “If Judy is 
normal, 1 wouldn't want to be normal 
for anything.” 

Zamos explained that she had re- 
signed as an alternate juror after be- 
coming troubled when she heard 
“some of the things that were happen- 
ing in the jury room.” 

Nelson said he had learned from one 
of the attorneys connected to the case 
that Zamos was dismissed from the tri- 
al for misconduct. Zamos was out- 
raged. The discussion deteriorated in- 
to a shouting match as the pair argued 
about Nelson’s contact with the me- 
dia. (During deliberations, Nelson had 
bragged to other jurors that he had 
talked to “his friend” Ron Reagan that 
morning. “Is he a friend of yours?” 
asked one. “Yeah,” he reportedly re- 
plied. “I don’t have much use for his 
father, but he’s a good guy.” Nelson an- 
nounced to others seated at a cafete- 
ria table that Reagan was shooting 
“an MTV segment on the trial.” Sever- 
al were uncomfortable because jurors 
were forbidden to talk with the media. 
Zamos reported Nelson’s remarks to 
the judge, who took no action after 
questioning Nelson.) 

After Zamos accused Nelson of hir- 
ing an agent to seek out TV appear- 
ances (he denied it), there were more 
fireworks. As petty insults Нем across 
the studio, the audience roared with 
laughter. 

“Hey, folks—any of you who want to 
be on a long trial, you think twice,” de- 
clared Zamos. “These are people you 
wouldn't talk to in your entire life if 
you had a choice.” 

“If they would allow me, I would 
pull the gas chamber pellets on Lyle,” 
declared Nelson a few minutes later. “I 
can't believe that we have jurispru- 
dence such that” 

At that point Zamos interrupted: 
“Oh God—he's learned a three-syllable 
word. I car't believe this. Do you be- 
lieve how ignorant he is? Would you 
want your life to be in this man's 
hands?" 

"Ignorant?" he replied. “ОБ, come 
оп, give me а break, lady!" 

“Oh, I need to give you a break.” 

Instead, Zamos sued Nelson. In the 
suit filed by her attorney husband, 
Zamos declared she was slandered by 
Nelson's comment that she'd been "dis- 


missed for misconduct.” In fact, she as- 
serted, she was excused not for wrong- 
doing but “as a result of her request 
based on personal and philosophical 
concerns." A week later, Nelson's attor- 
ney, Phillip Rose, wrote to Zamos’ hus- 
band Jerry: “Mr. Nelson is a man of 
limited assets and financial means and 
can ill-afford to bear the legal costs of 
defending this lawsuit. Unfortunately, 
Mr. Nelson is not married to an attor- 
ney, а distinct and unfair advantage 
that your client has over my client.” 

Ten days after that, Nelson filed a 
countersuit accusing Zamos of slander 
for calling him “ignorant” and accusing 
him of “making а career out of doing 
talk shows.” 

In the ensuing months, the court file 
grew into two thick volumes. At a hear- 
ing in February, the judge presiding 
over the case said both sides “deserved 
what they gor for appearing on talk 
shows.” 


А STAR IS BORN 


Of course. the Los Angeles County 
District Attorney's office didn't like the 
outcome of the first Menendez trial. 
But the weeks that followed the trial 
weren't much more pleasant. Abram- 
son was everywhere. Marie Claire mag- 
azine declared her one of America’s 
foremost “ball-busters.” The New York 
Times called her the “queen of mira- 
cles.” Barbara Walters named her one 
of the ten most fascinating people of 
1994. Over and over again, she kicked 
sand in District Attorney Gil Garcetti's 
face. And she enjoyed it. 

By the time of the first hearing a 
month after the mistrial, Abramson 
had assumed a new stature. TV crews 
followed her into the courthouse, bare- 
ly keeping pace with the autograph 
hounds. Several former jurors also 
lined the hallway. As Abramson ap- 
proached the courtroom door, she saw 
Nelson—atypically wearing a suit and 
tie—offering to shake hands. Pausing, 
she recognized him before withdraw- 
ing her hand and walking by. “She evi- 
dently doesn't like my point of view,” 
he said to no one in particular. “That’s 
fine with me. I don't like hers, either.” 
A few weeks later, Nelson was back, pa- 
tiently waiting again at the courtroom 
door. “Good morning, Miss Abram- 
son,” he said cheerfully. “Good morn- 
ing, Mr. Nelson. I see you still haven't 
gotten a life yet.” 


IF AT FIRST YOU DONT SUCCEED 


For the retrial Сагсеш replaced the 
original prosecution team. David 
Conn, the 44-year-old acting head of 
the D.A’s special trials unit, was named 
the new lead prosecutor. The New 
York native joined the district attor- 
ney's office in 1978 after graduating 
from Columbia University Law School. 
Conn previously served in the sex 
crimes, special investigations and or- 
ganized crime divisions. 

Joining Conn is 36-year-old Carol 
Najera, a ten-year-veteran deputy dis- 
trict attorney. Both Conn and Najera 
have prosecuted death-penalty cases, 
but Najera's appointment was not pop- 
ular within the D.A.'s office. Garcetti 
urged his staff to “get behind” the new 
team, but moments later seemed to un- 
dercut Najera: “David Conn is the per- 
son assigned to the case. He will be 
handling 95 percent of it. He asked 
that Carol be assigned to the case. I 
said, ‘Yes, she will be a fine assistant for 
Dave." 


in weeks, there was already sig- 
nificant animosity between Abramson 
and the new prosecution team. At one 
hearing, Conn accused Abramson of 
wanting to delay the start of the trial 
because of her “financial arrangement” 
to provide commentary on the O.J. 
Simpson case for ABC News. When a 
police witness asked to have a picture 
taken with Abramson, Najera said, 
“That's disgusting—this hero worship 
of you.” Abramson replied, “As much 
as you hate me now, you'll be apoplec- 
tic at the end of trial." The witness’ 
mother turned to Najera and told her, 
“You're the rudest person I've ever 
met.” A delighted Abramson maintains 
that Najera is “the greatest asset of the 
defense case.” 


LYLE MAKES А FRIEND 


The ability of the Menendez case to 
attract controversial characters contin- 
ued with the emergence of Martha 
Jane Shelton, a Falls Church, Virginia 
woman who became hooked on Court 
TV's coverage of the trial. Shelton 
wrote to Lyle after watching him testify. 
She too was an abuse victim. When 
Lyle phoned her, she told him details of 
her life she’d never revealed before. 
The 30-year-old single mother was so 
dedicated, she even began raising 
money for the defense fund at a Falls 
Church bar in addition to urging 
friends to pray for the brothers. 

But the night of the mistrial declara- 
tion, Shelton says she heard a different 
side of Lyle during a phone call from 
jail. He was arrogant, cocky. At one 
point, Shelton claims, Lyle laughed 
and said, “We've snowed half the coun- 
try. Now we have to snow the other 
half.” She was shocked. 

(continued on page 151) 


LOOK! UP IN THE SKY! 
IT’S A TOON, IT’S LITERATURE, 
IT’S THE NEW POSTMODERN 


ARTICLE BY JOHN TOMKIW 


WHEN MOST people think comic books, 
they think simple pictures and simple 
plots—big guys in leotards pounding 
one another while saying, “Feel the 
righteous sting of my unbridled 
fury!" After all, 80 percent of the esti- 
mated $1 billion U.S. comic book mar- 
ketis driven by testosterone in tights, 
secret identities and adolescent bat- 
tles of good versus evil, Then there's 
the other 20 percent. In the rack that 
has held the pen-and-ink porn of 
Cherry or the aging hippie sedition of 
The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers, a 


The graphic staries published by Vertiga break every canvention established by its 
superhera-driven parent, DC Comics. For example, Gallery af Dreams (obove)—an 
offshaot af the Sandman series—has no wards. Canjuring up the dream king sim- 
ply requires a leap of frags. Below, the vivid and disturbing artwark from The Mys- 
tery Play, drawn by Jon Muth, brings a detective's obsessive hallucinations to life 


тик LOST CLASSIC BY 


BRAWINGS BY 


<40UR0 Ur-£ mzrx4 


A lost classic? Well, maybe. But with drawings by 
а Pulitzer Prize winner, an obscure рает by 
Joseph Mancure Murch (Tle Wild Puriy, above) 
joins the growing list of art lit. Various artists rade 
the Residents’ bandwagen far Freak Show (below). 


new breed of illustrated mag— 
smart, gritty and literate—has 
reached adulthood. It’s a fusion 
of art and literature: the post- 
modern comic. 

The form hit new heights—in 
content and readership—when 
Art Spiegelman's graphic novel 
Maus won the Pulitzer Prize in 
1992. The two books in the series 
recount Spiegelman's journey of 
understanding as his elderly fa- 
ther tells him about his survival 
in a Nazi concentration camp. 
But here the son and father are 


PAGES FROM Ч A ARAS mice and the Nazis are cats: the 


ee; ў ultimate Tom and Jerry cartoon. 
THE RARE ) 2 3 Spiegelman's autobiographical 
FIRST 3 ISSUES N work is ап extension of the sex- 
OF THE COMICS 4 E ; RS COD comm 
N of the late Sixties. The horrors о! 

MAGAZINE FOR Auschwitz are juxtaposed with 
DAMNED \ Y a quirky encounters with his 


INTELLECTUALS! 4 А cranky father; an argument over 
A wooden matches turns into a 
vaudeville routine. 

In his collaborations with Six- 
ties comic master R. Crumb, 
writer Harvey Pekar also pio- 
neered the push into self-reflec- 
tive realism. The American Splen- 
dor series chronicles the life of 
Pekar, a curmudgeon from 
Cleveland. David Letterman 
took notice, calling Pekar’s exis- 
tence one of “whining despera- 
tion,” and Pekar began showing 
up as Dave's late-night sparring 
partner, later re-creating the Let- 
terman appearances in his comic 
books. In 1994’s Our Cancer Year, 
Pekar and his wife, Joyce Brab- 
ner, detail his battle with the dis- 
ease. Our Cancer Year is available 
in a particularly wide range of 
bookstores, and not in the sec- 
tion where you'd find Garfield. 

Meanwhile, Crumb—perhaps 


The illustrated encyclopedia: Raw (above) was the 
majar force behind a resurgence of adult comics dur- 
ing the past decade. Issues featured Charles Bums’ 
"Dog Boy" (a teen werepup wha has a habit af bury- 
ing his girlfriend’s high heels), attacks on Reaganism 
by Sue Coe, the jagged stick figures of Mark Beyer 
and "limbo," atomic age angst by Gary Panter Art 
Spiegelman, wha launched Raw in 1980 with wife 
Francoise Mauly, calls it “an avant-garde comics 
magazine for your bamb shelter’s caffee table.” De- 
spite its synthesis of high ort and paranoia, Raw 
found a distributor in Penguin USA, Although the 
original oversize layout was reduced—much to the 
dismay of early fans—the trade-paperback versions 
reached circulations of 40,000. Soon Raw's contribu- 
tors were in demand at art galleries, Informed more 
by movies than by fine art, Thirteen O'Clack (right) 
lampoons mysteries with а Mr. Murmur plat as ridicu- 
lous as the fille; Duplex Plonet Illustrated (far right) 
tums an ald age home inte а planet of the japes 


art spiegelman, 


In 


(| 


best known for drawing Мт. Natural—has tackled the work of 
Franz Kafka by illustrating his stories in Introducing Kafka. 
From his early work on Zap Comix and Fritz the Cat to today's 
explication of a mad Czech author, Crumb is an example of 
how times have changed—and how comics have changed with 
them: Introducing Kafka is а Cliff Notes for the postliterate gen- 
eration. While Crumb's grotesque depiction of cockroach Greg- 
or Samsa (from Metamorphosis) writhes across the page, Crumb 
and partner David Zane Mairowitz position Kafka as a product 
of his environment. They emphasize the humor of Kafka's ab- 
surdist despair and reconsider him as a Weimar-era Woody 
Allen. “What do I have in common with the Jews?” Kafka 
writes. “I don't even have anything in common with myself." 

Although alternative comics have finally arrived, they still 
don't get respect. “They're the bastard children of both art and 
literature—neither side claims them, but their roots are in both 
of them,” says Denis Kitchen, cartoonist and publisher of 
Kitchen Sink Press. “Pointy-head intellectuals in both camps 
think comics are beneath contempt.” 

Nonetheless, а new generation of talent is finding its voice in 
comics. Using pictures in the place of exposition, comic book 
confessionals—riding the success of Spiegelman and Crumb— 
have crowded the field. One noteworthy book is Wild Life, by 
writer and illustrator Peter Kuper. In it, Kuper recounts his 
not-so-suave youth, a series of false starts in a race to lose 
his virginity. Propositioned by a (text continued on page 134) 


Art Spiegelman's Maus (above lefi) convinced even unregenerate 
snobs that comic books possess artistic merit. While Like a Velvet 
Glove Cast in Iron {below left) thrives outside the mainstream, the 
peerless R. Crumb has come up from the underground with Introduc- 
ing Katka (below). Traditionol superheroes have also felt the impact of 
the new comics. The Joker is at right; Batman is on the opposing ропе! 


CAROL SHAYA: BUSTED 


the пура had a few things on its mind, like crime and corruption— 
so it fired the best-looking cop on the force 


arguably the most alluring cop to walk the streets of the Bronx’ 45th Precinct, logs in a 

surprise patrol through the pages of rravBov's August 1994 issue. Readers voice their 
approval, the media Ваз а field day (Shaya pops up in everything from The Times of London 
to Geraldo's hot seat), but the suits—in this case Police Commissioner William Bratton and 
Mayor Rudolph Giuliani—decide to show the world just how tough they can get with an “em- 
barrassment” like Shaya. The verdict: New York's sexiest and finest is first demoted to a desk 
job. then sacked from the force altogether. “Discrimination is something that cannot he 
pushed aside,” says Shaya, who is fighting back with a $10 million lawsuit against Giuliani, the 
city and the NYPD. “Still, the past year has brought me lots of emotional highs. Thanks го all 
the support I've received, I've found happiness and joy.” Ten four, Carol. We copy that. 


A 5 wrth many good cop stories, the events unfolded dramatically. Officer Carol Shaya, 


“I had mixed emotions of 
anger ond sadness leaving 
the force,” says Shaya 

ing out for the lost time, 
above; blissfully out of uni- 
form, below and opposite] 
never thought | would experi 
ence that.” Still, Shayo is up- 
beat off the beat. “Pim al- 
ready working on а few movie 
deals,” she soys. “The next 
yeor should be interesting.” 


84 


ROAD 
TEST 


fiction By LENNY KLEINFELD 


when it came fo travel, the lady 
was а champ—with intriguing ideas 


on how to spend a vacation 


RATT LUCKED into the road test when he was 

24, the first and only time he'd been on the 

verge of becoming an official fiancé. He 
and Suzie were suspiciously compatible. The sex 
was good and so was the talk. They were into the 
same movies and music. They liked each other's 
friends. Her family wasn't insane. His family was, 
but liked Suzie so much that when they were 
around her they pretended to be bearable. 

Pratt and Suzie moved in together, a real find 
on the top floor of a rent-controlled building on 
West End Avenue. It was the first time either of 
them had risked sharing bills and a bathroom. 
Things went remarkably smooth, Their friends 
and relatives remarked on it. It was a way of ask- 
ing when Pratt and Suzie would tie the knot. 

Pratt was wondering about that one day in the 
lobby of their building as he waited for the eleva- 
tor. Did love and marriage necessarily go togeth- 
er like a horse and carriage? The carriage (mar- 
riage) did require the horse (love), but you could 
get around fine with just a horse. Though two 
people riding a horse couldn't get as far as one 
person on a horse or two people in a carriage. . . . 
The elevator arrived and Pratt got on. As the 
door was closing, the redhead from the fifth. 
floor dashed aboard. She was in a playful mood. 
She lightly but unmistakably invited Pratt to stop 
in at her place and play. He declined. 

Pratt was rattled. He’d never done—or rather 
never not done—something like this before. Did 
passing up the elevator offer mean he was more 
in love with Suzie than he'd been willing to ad- 
mit? Or did it mean he was losing his balls? 

Pratt bought an engagement ring and suggest- 
ed to Suzie that they rent a car and drive up to 


ILLUSTRATION BY VIVIENNE FLESHER 


PLAYBOY 


86 


Vermont for the weekend. They had 
vacationed together once before, a 
week at the beach on St. Barts; pure 
fun, except for one particularly pain- 
ful lesson about sand. Pratt had high 
hopes for Vermont. 

They left Manhattan on a cool, 
bright morning, driving a shiny five- 
liter Mustang, oh yeah. . . . Thirty- 
three minutes later Suzie had to stop to 
take a leak. Forty-two minutes later she 
had to stop again. Suzie could absolute- 
ly not make it through an hour of driv- 
ing—except for the time she lasted 78 
minutes, but only because by that point 
they were no longer speaking. 

It rained for two days. Their room 
leaked. Suzie cried frequently and blew 
her nose a lot. 

At supper Saturday they worked to 
regain their sense of humor and make 
peace. Pratt revved up his courage to 
pop the question. He looked deep into 
Suzie's eyes, reached for the cham- 
pagne bottle and knocked over the ice 
bucket, sloshing an Arctic tide across 
the lap of the 60ish gent at the next 
table, who stiffened and groaned as 
though he'd been harpooned, inspir- 
ing his wife to cut loose with a shriek at 
what she assumed was her untimely 
widowhood. 

Home Suzie would have been 
amused. Road Suzie locked herself in 
the bathroom and brushed her teeth 
for a couple of hours. The weekend re- 
mained damp in all the wrong places. 
The diamond ring never came out of 
Pratt's pocket. Within a month he was 
out of the apartment. 


A year later Pratt became infatuated 
with Jane, who was extremely roman- 
tic. Jane was forever surprising Pratt 
with little gifts and social events, and 
sudden sex in semipublic places. To 
commemorate the six-month anniver- 
sary of their first simultaneous orgasm 
(Jane kept note of such things in her 
hand-bound Florentine diaries), she 
presented Pratt with tickets to Paris. 
Precisely six months to the second 
from their historic spasm duet, Pratt 
and Jane were in a 747 restroom re- 
creating the event. 

They checked into a chic hideaway 
in the Marais and made love in a large 
chair by an open window. Then Jane 
needed to do a little shopping. Some- 
how it consumed the day. Their second 
day in Paris was spent shopping. So 
was the third. On the fourth day Pratt 
lured Jane into the countryside by sug- 
gesting they rent a car and go shop- 
ping at wineries. But they stopped to 
ask for directions at a village that was 
having a crafis fair. Then there were 


the antique shops. They spent the 
night in a bed-and-breakfast run by the 
cousin of a milliner with whom Jane 
got along famously. 

"The next morning Pratt suggested a 
walk in the hills—and a romantic pic- 
nic by a stream. Jane accused him of 
being an Eagle Scout. 

They drove back to the city. After 
they dropped off the car Pratt asked if 
they could go look at a painting or a 
cathedral, seeing as how this was his 
first time in Paris. Jane accused him of 
being a tourist but consented to an art 
auction. 

They spent their final day shopping 
for the extra luggage Jane required. 

On the flight home they ae t мо- 
late a single airline policy. 

They left Kennedy in separate cabs. 


And so it went. 

During every takeoff and landing 
Connie dug her nails into Pratt's arm 
and muttered her litany: Flemeoul, wind 
shear, hydraulic failure, collision, mad 
bomber and all their variations. She was 
convinced that chanting every possible 
catastrophe was the only way to pre- 
vent them. Connie also had a strict rule 
against driving after dark in any for- 
eign country, including California. 

Mona got peevish on Kauai because 
there was no reason to dress up and 
the water was full of fish. 

Bettina was shocked into sullen de- 
pression when Mexico failed to run ac- 
cording to the precisely planned daily 
schedule she had mapped out some 11 
months earlier. 

Kelly's idea of travel was to go some- 
place new for golf and tennis. Tennis 
and golf. And golf. 

Linda complained about the food 
and the wine from one end of Italy to 
the other: 

Ellen couldn't go away for a weekend 
without taking enough makeup, cos- 
tume changes, electrical equipment 
and taped music to supply a Madonna 
tour. 

joan had spent all summer every 
summer of her life at the family cabin 
оп a lake in Minnesota, and always 
would. 

Olga informed Pratt, the night be- 
fore they were scheduled to leave, that 
she had canceled their nonrefundable, 
impossible-to-get reservations for a 
Christmas week cross-country ski trip 
through Yellowstone. Advice from her 
astrologer. 


Pratt was 39. All his friends from 
school had been married at least once, 


even the gays and lesbians. Hell, the 
lesbian couple had two baster babies 
and а Volvo. Pratt envied his friends’ 
rich emotional lives, the profound joy 
they, their spouses and their kids took 
in one another. Pratt's friends envied 
his promiscuity. He was an efficiently 
oiled bachelor. He had flings with girls 
who were mainly interested in an edu- 
cation and a decent meal. He had on- 
going affairs/friendships with adult 
women, wary veterans who, like Pratt, 
kept their expectations in check and 
their options open 

Pratt loved to travel and did so 
whenever possible. Usually alone. 


Pratt decided to take himself to Eng- 
land. Somehow he had been only once 
before, a business trip to London: 
three days and nights in a modern cor- 
porate office and a modern corporate 
hotel that could have been in any part 
of the world that had electricity and 
plumbing. This time it would be three 
weeks of no work and nobody else's 
itineraries, diets, taboos, bladders, ob- 
sessions, luggage or astrologers. If that 
meant three weeks of celibacy, fine. Of- 
ten it didn't. Another advantage of 
traveling alone. 

Pratt's seatmate on the flight over 
was the publisher of a Midwestern 
equestrian magazine, a gregarious man 
who was looking for investors to fund 
his surefire plan to enter and dominate 
the national market for glossy dressage 
gossip. 

A couple of time zones later the pub- 
lisher paused long enough for Pratt to 
excuse himself. As Pratt stood, the 
woman in the seat behind his glanced 
up from her book with what seemed to 
be a small sympathetic grin. It was. As 
Pratt walked past she wordlessiy of- 
fered him a package of earplugs. Pratt 
took a couple and did a quick, silent 
salaam. The woman nodded and went 
back to her novel. Pratt continued 
down the aisle. 

Pratt was staying at a small, mildly 
extravagant hotel in South Kensing- 
ton that provided limousine service. 
‘There was another passenger sharing 
the limo: the woman who traveled with 
a ready supply of earplugs, generosity 
and tact. 

They chatted pleasantly on the ride 
into town. Her name was Donna. She 
correctly identified him as a West Sider 
and he was right about her being an 
East Sider. They established that this 
was Pratt's first real visit to England 
and that Donna had been there often. 
She urged him to see some of the coun- 
uyside as well as London. He assured 

(continued on page 102) 


“By God, we've achieved it, Hughes. А workplace without 
any sexual harassment.” 


88 


catching up 
with miss july 


OME ON, let's get out of here,” says Heidi 
Mark, a mischievous grin flickering 
across her face. Then, in a voice breathy, 
sultry and suggestive, she adds, “I'll 

make you happy, baby." A second later the spell is 

broken. “That is so not me!” she squeals, embar- 
rassed. It is, in fact, Bebe Quinn, the character 
she plays in aTV movie called Deadline for Murder: 

From the Files of Edna Buchanan. Heidi's character 

is “dangerous, cool and 24—a total femme fatale,” 

she explains. 

The real Heidi Mark is also 24, loyal, fiercely 
independent and someone who, unlike Bebe, 
would never ride some squirrelly gangster’s coat- 
tails to the top. “I never want to rely on anybody 
or anything,” she says. 

We caught up with Miss July as she lounged in 
her Santa Monica condo. She was in repose—but 
studying Bebe's lines. “I'd rather work than rest,” 
she asserts. Born in Ohio and raised in West Palm 
Beach, Heidi has been a hurricane of activity 
since arriving in Los Angeles a year ago. “I've 
been lucky enough to have worked nonstop,” says 
the former model and Hooters employee, rattling 


"1 love, love, love, love men," Heidi stotes. "I've doted 
ones who were short, toll, skinny ond chunky.” One of 
those smart guys introduced her to PLAYBOY. "When | 
looked at the photos, | thought, This is really pretty.” 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY STEPHEN WAYDA 


“I'm а sucker far lave,” Heidi admits. “I lave thot goofy feeling in my stomach. Someday I'd like 
to have a close family.” Thase plans will have to wait. "Now my career is my number one prior- 
ity,” she says. On о typical day she shuttles fram movie sets ta auditions to acting class. Recent 
TV арреогопсез earned Heidi (right, in the blue leotard) o celebrity gig on American Gladiators. 


off roles such as a recurring one 
on The Young and the Restless and 
guest spots on Baywatch, plus a 
host of other TV shows and 


movies. 
Heidi keeps her personal life 
low-key. “Everything here is 
such a scene,” she says of L.A 
“We rarely go out.” The “we 
includes her current beau, for- 
mer Motley Crue-man Vince 
Neil. But Heidi chafes at the 
notion that she’s one of those 
models who dates only rock 
stars. “I've been involved with a 
policeman, a disc jockey, a con- 
struction worker—people who 
are worlds apart,” she says. 
Despite her devotion to hard 
work, Christianity and a mod- 
est lifestyle, Heidi often seems 
to find herself in the center ofa 
scandal. At the age of four, she 
shocked an audience with her 
rendition of Away in a Manger in 
her church's Christmas play. “1 
was swaying my hips through 
the whole song,” she recalls, 


giggling. “I got into so much trouble!" More recently, the tabloids blared: GIRL-CRAZY OJ. CAR- 
RIED ON PASSIONATE AFFAIR WITH PLAYBOY PINUP, “It's alll lies,” she says. “I can laugh atit now. But 
it was really hard for me.” She despises traffic in Los Angeles, but otherwise Heidi says she 
can't complain about her life in the fast lane. “It’s been an interesting 24 years,” she says. "I 
can't wait to sce the next 24." We'll be watching, too. — MARK EHRNAN 


One of Miss July's current 
passions is reading books 
about angels. “I really believe 
in angels,” she says sheepish- 
ly. So da we, Heidi, so do we 


2 
= 


PLAYMATE DATA SHEET 


МАМЕ: 
BUST: QC WAIST: 


ГА "n 
HEIGHT: J 7 МЕТСНТ: 


PEOPLE I ADMIRE: 


A thy DA Kd 
Placer ger 200 2 
оч дало, S PED слао. 


WORK ETHIC: 


PLAYBOY’S PARTY JOKES 


Im telling you, Jodi, I've never been happier," 
Carol told her friend. “I have two boyfriends. 
One is just fabulous—handsome, sensitive, 
caring and considerate.” 

“What in the world do you need the second 
one for?" Jodi asked. 

“Oh,” Carol replied, “the second one is 
straight.” 


What happens when you put the batteries in 
backward in the Energizer bunny? It just 
keeps coming and coming and coming. 


Р:лувох cuassıc: Hall and Stone, lawyers in 
the same firm, had been bitter rivals for years, 
aggressively competing against each other to 
win a full partnership. 

Walking home through the park one eve- 
ning, Hall stumbled upon a bottle from which 
a genie appeared. “I will grant you three wish- 
c5," she said, “but I must warn you, whatever 
you ask for will be given twice over to Mr. 
Stone.” 

Hall thought it over carefully. “OK, first I'd 
like $5 million,” he said. 

“No problem,” the genie said. “But remem- 
ber, Mr. Stone will get $10 million.” 

“Second, Га like а magnificent villa on the 
French Riviera.” 

“Granted,” the genic said. “But remember, 
Mr. Stone will have two villas.” 

“Yes, I know,” Hall said, “so for my last wish 
1 want you to beat me half to death.” 


Two nuns were driving down a country road 
when a naked man jumped out in front of 
them and began dancing lewdly. “What should 
we do?” one sister frantically asked. 

“Show him your cross,” the other said. 

“Hey, mister.” the first nun yelled as she 
rolled down the window, “get the fuck out of 
my way.” 


How many real estate agents does it take to 
change a lightbulb? Ten, but we'll accept 
eight. 


А! complained to his friend Jeff that lovemak- 
ing with his wife was becoming routine and 
boring. 

“Get creative, buddy. Break up the monoto- 
пу. Why don’t you try playing doctor for an 
hour?” 

“Sounds great,” Al replied, “but how do you 
make it last for an hour?” 

“Hell, just keep her in the waiting room for 
45 minutes.” 


Concerned that her new 70-year-old husband 
might need something to stimulate his sexual 
appetite, the young woman consulted a physi- 
cian. He prescribed a powerful drug that he 

Ferkel ТОТ ete Sal ory 

14 again. 

The next day, she hid a pill in his eggs at 
breakfast. When it seemed to have no effect, 
she added two to his salad at lunch. When he 
still showed no sexual interest, she popped 
three into his stew at dinner. Much to her dis- 
appointment, the old guy crawled into bed 
that night and promptly fell into a deep sleep. 

The next morning, the bride watched as her 
husband got out of bed and began to dress. 
“Honey” she purred, “why dont you come 
over here and lie down next to те? 

“I can't,” he said, pulling on his trousers. 
“T'I be late for school.” 


What's the hardest thing about sports to teach 
a blonde? That a quarterback is not a tax 
refund. 


А New Yorker visiting old Tucson strolled in- 
to a blacksmith's shop just after the smithy had 
placed a red-hot horseshoe on a metal bench 
to cool. Before he could be warned, the oblivi- 
ous visitor picked up the shoe, then instantly 
dropped it 

“Are you badly burned?” the concerned 
blacksmith asked. 

“Nah,” the embarrassed tourist replied. “It 
just doesn't take me very long to look at a 
horseshoe.” 


=) 


Aline 


What's the difference between a stagecoach 
driver and a bartender? The driver has to look 
at only six horses’ asses a day. 


Tras MONTH'S MOST FREQUENT SUBMISSION: “Mr. 
Quinn, I have reviewed this case very careful- 
ly,” the divorce court judge said, “and I've de- 
cided to give your wile $275 a week.” 

“That's very fair, your honor,” the husband 
said. "And every now and then I'll try to send 
her a few bucks myself.” 


Heard a funny one lately? Send it on a pos- 
card, please, to Party jokes Editor, PLAYBOY, 
680 North Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, Illinois 
60611. $100 will be paid to the contributor 
whose card is selected. Jokes cannot be returned. 


‘Ahoy! Care to get blown off course?” 


INEN is making a repeat рег- 
formance this season as the 

hottest choice for a cool sum- 

mer look. No, we're not talk- 

ing about the rumpled styles 

your father wore. Today’s 

linen has a smooth, subtle 

finish that allows for only the slightest 
crease. It's also versatile. Because linen 
sports jackets and trousers are often sold 
separately, you can wear the former as a 
suit with a pair of matching trousers (as 
we've done here) or tearn it with almost. 
any style of lightweight pants or jeans. 
We suggest starting with a three-button 
single-breasted linen sports jacket in a 
subtle color such as tan, muted blue or 
pale yellow. For the office, loose-fitting 
pleated trousers are considered more 
polished, whereas plain-front pants are 
the casual ideal. Asa rule of thumb when 
wearing linen, keep the extras light. 
Choose soft-collared sport shirts (or 
camp or polo models if you're going ca- 
sual) in colors that blend rather than 
contrast. And complete the style picture 
with a selection of solid-colored or slight- 
ly patterned ties with surface luster, and 
nubuck or woven oxfords or loafers. 


Right: This lightweight linen look combines 
о three-button single-breosted sports jocket 
($575) ond motching double-pleated 
trousers [$250], both by Colvin Klein Colloc 
tion, with о heothery-soge linen shirt by Joseph 
Abboud Collection (5145), а nubuck belt 
by Bomeys New York ($55), o woven silk tie 
by Best of Closs by Robert Talbott (595) ond 
suede loofers by Hush Puppies (about $60). 


THE 
| INEN 
LOOK 


fashion by HOLLIS WAYNE 


NO-SWELTER 
STYLES FOR THE 
LONG, HOT 
SUMMER 


Shodes of linen dressing. Neor right: 
A three-button single-breasted sparts 
jacket ($625) and matching trousers 
($225) by Joseph Abboud Collection 
are joined with a cation sport shirt 
($105) and woven paisley-print silk 
tie ($90) by Agnes b., a leather belt 
by Tyrone Private Lobel ($150), wo- 
ven roffic lace-up oxfords by To Boot 
($165] and tortoise-frame sunglasses 
from the Classic Collection by Revo 
($195). For right: A three-bution sin- 
gle-breasted jacket ($820) and 
matching flat-front trousers ($255) by 
Paul Smith, teamed with a cotton 
shirt by Andrew Fezza Dress Shirt 
($55), а woven silk muted-paisley- 
print tie by Joseph Abboud Collectian 
($65), nubuck oxfards by Giorgia Ar- 
mani ($330) and pewter-frame sun- 
glasses by Oliver Peoples (5260). 


WHERE & HOW TO BUY ON PAGE 158. 


GROOMING BY LOSI FOR PIERRE MICHEL, 
THE PLAZA, NEW YORK CITY 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY ANOREW ECCLES 


PLAYBOY 


102 


ROAD TEST „аео 


That impressed him. They checked into the hotel. 
Donna was on first-name terms with the manager. 


her he was planning to. Neither of 
them suggested spending time togeth- 
ег Donna didn’t even bother to find 
out Pratt's profession or if he was 
available. 

That impressed him. Much about 
her impressed him, which is why he de- 
cided he wouldn't call until they were 
back in New York. He didn’t want the 
first intimate thing he found out about 
her to be what kind of millstone she 
was to travel with. They checked into 
the hotel. Donna was on first-name 
terms with the manager. 


Pratt went to the British Museum 
and was awed by the extent and quali- 
ty of the collection and the scale of the 
looting involved in assembling it. He 
went to the National Portrait Gallery 
and studied the faces of the officially 
great Britons. He went to the Tower, 
where some of them had been execut- 
ed. Went to Westminster Abbey, where 
a surprising number of them were 
packed into the floors, walls and gar- 
dens. He toured museums of new art 
and old weapons. He attended Parlia- 
ment and a club football match, where 
the British gather to trade museum- 
quality insults. He went to the track 
and won some British money. He went 
to Berry Brothers and invested it i 
port. He went to the Royal Court The- 
апе and bumped into Donna in the 
lobby as the performance let out. 

They had both enjoyed the produc- 
tion, a science fiction revival of The Way 
of the World. They went to a pub across 
the square for pints of bitter and an 
amiable disagreement about what the 
director was trying to say by setting an 
18th century comedy of manners on 
Mars. Donna thonght it was a droll 
comment on how remote the notion of 
manners had become. Pratt thought it 
was a droll comment on how Con- 
greve's script was funny enough to sur- 
vive a talented director with a daring 
sense of design. 

Two young British couples at the 
next table invited themselves to join in 
the debate. The conversation soon de- 
volved into a speculation about what 
the Hollywood version of The Way of 
the World would be. Pratt had Mirabell 
(Arnold Schwarzenegger) blowing his 
way into a high-tech torture chamber 
to rescue Millamant (Uma Thurman) 


from her evil scientist billionaire sadist 
spinster aunt (Robin Williams) when 
the pub bell rang and the lights 
went up. 

As goodbyes were being exchanged 
the less sober of the young women gave 
Pratt an impulsive kiss on the cheek— 
then blushed and apologized to Donna 
for kissing “your husband.” Donna as- 
sured her she wasn't the jealous type. 

The young couples believed Donna. 
So did Pratt. 


They walked back to their hotel. The 
night was idyllic—a crescent moon, 
leafy streets lined with Georgian row 
houses and lacking the stench, filth and 
well-armed crackheads of Manhattan’s 
upscale neighborhoods. Pratt and 
Donna compared vacation scorecards. 
Both were having 2 good time. Both 
would be moving on in the morning. 
Pratt was driving to Wales to do some 
hiking. Donna recommended an inn 
near Snowdonia. She too was heading 
west, taking the train to Gloucester- 
shire to visit ds. Pratt was tempted. 
to offer her a ride. He gave in to the 
temptation. Donna thanked him but 
said she couldn't impose. They arrived 
at the hotel. Pratt assured her it 
wouldn't be an imposition, that it 
would be good to have company along 
in case he needed someone to change a 
tire or walk five miles carrying a gas 
can. Donna called him a shameless flat- 
terer. They said goodnight and went to 
their rooms. Eventually Pratt got him- 
self to sleep. 


The next morning Pratt picked up 
his rental car and returned to the hotel 
to check out. Donna was in the lobby 
with her one piece of luggage. The 
concierge was on the phone tying to 
arrange alternate transportation for 
her; what London lacked in Glock-tot- 
ing junkies it made up for in Semtex- 
toting IRA members, who had detonat- 
ed a political statement in the train 
station Donna had been planning to 
leave from. 


° 
Blue skies and fine country roads. 


An easy-fiowing conversation. Neither 
volunteered much in the way of bio- 


graphical detail. They discussed British 
history. Differences between Brits and 
Yanks and Aussies and Japanese in so- 
cial situations. The distinctive psy- 
choses of drivers in various countries. 
Pratt wasn't surprised to find that Don- 
na had traveled extensively. 

She took him to lunch at a tearoom 
in the Cotswolds. They didn’t talk 
much. They were busy eavesdropping 
on two women at the next table who 
were dressed in unseasonably heavy 
tweeds and dissecting in detail the per- 
sonalitics, careers and living conditions 
of the shelties one of them bred. 

The women finished lunch and left. 
Pratt grinned and was about to remark 
that now he felt he was really in Eng- 
land, but before he could speak Donna 
deadpanned that now he was truly in 
England. 

When they got back to the car Pratt 
asked Donna if she was bored riding 
shotgun and would she like to drive. 
She thanked him but pointed out it 
would violate his rental agreement. He 
tossed her the keys and got in the pas- 
senger side. Donna said nothing but 
looked pleased. 

She drove like a champ. As he had 
expected. 


It was dusk when they arrived at her 
friends’ house. It was a low, rambling 
17th-18th-19th-20th century cottage 
that sprawled along a thickly wooded 
ridge, with the oldest rooms clustered 
at the center and the additions stretch- 
ing out to the left and right. А cozy 
patchwork one story high and 350 
years long. 

Donna's friends, Dick and Chloe, in- 
vited Pratt to stay for dinner. Pratt de- 
murred. The iue was decided when 
their five-year-old daughter request- 
ed that Pratt stay long enough to read 
her a chapter of her new book, and 
her four-year-old brother immediately 
counterattacked by tossing his stuffed 
pig to Pratt, initiating a game of catch. 
Pratt had no choice but to find a com- 
fortable chair and do both at once. The 
battle for possession of the newcomer 
ended in a draw when the literary pig 
throw was suspended by the arrival of 
bedtime, at which point Chloe declared 
dinner to be irreversibly under con- 
struction and ordered Dick to begin 
pouring cocktails into Pratt. 

Dinner was a warm, sociable glow. 
Charred chops and hefty rioja. Dick 
and Chloe didn’t subject Pratt to the 
clumsy grilling a strange man would 
have gotten from a woman's friends in 
the States. The conversation did sepa- 
rate into man-man and woman-woman 

(continued on page 106) 


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PLAYBOY 


106 


ROAD T EST (continued from page 102) 


He was in love. Not the rock-and-roll version he'd 
felt for Suzie. The real thing. Love. 


ghettos earlier and more thoroughly 
than it would have ata New York table. 
Donna and Chloe were old school 
chums with six months of minutiae to 
catch up on, which they turned to in 
earnest as soon 25 they were satisfied 
they could safely leave Pratt and Dick 
to bond over current political outlooks 
and past tastes in drugs and guitarists. 
But each time Pratt glanced up, Donna 
ог Chloe was glancing at him. 

Over coffee Pratt asked them to rec- 
ommend a hotel, but they all knew it 
was a formality. 


Then he and Donna were alone in 
the drawing room. Dick and Chloe had 
retired a few minutes earlier. 

For the first time since they'd met, 
they were carefully polite. They agreed 
оп how lovely dinner had been, Donna 
thanked Pratt for the drive out, Pratt 
thanked Donna for introducing him to 
her friends—anything to avoid ac- 
knowledging the great viscous glob of 
sensual tension that filled the space be- 
tween them. Through it, Pratt could 
feel her breasts pressing against him 
from four feet away. 

Pratt could also read the brief essay 
in the look on her face. She was hoping 
he wouldn't make her say out loud that 
this was the wrong time and place. He 
understood. He agreed. And even ifhe 
didn't, he wasn't going to do anything 
to disappoint this woman. After a small 
silence he quietly said goodnight. She 
gave him a light, grateful kiss on the 
cheek and went off to bed. 

Pratt's room had been built in the 
1780s, Donna’s in the 1920s. The 
rooms shared a wall but were 140 years 
apart. Pratt tossed and turned for at 
Teast that long before he drifted off. 


Pratt was up early. Not as early as 
Donna. She and Chloe had gone rid- 
ing. Dick urged Pratt to stay until they 
returned. Stay as long as he cared to, in 
fact. Pratt thanked him but said he had 
to go. Pratt traded phone, fax and ad- 
dress data with Dick and hugs with the 
kids, then hit the road. 

Donna would appreciate why he left: 
to give her time alone with her friends, 
and to spare them both any more 
nights on opposite sides of that fucking 


antique wall that had probably been 
built by some arrogant bastard using 
profits squeezed out of brutally ex- 
ploited colonials, probably in New 
York— Now that was something to 
look forward to. New York and Donna 
and no wall. . , . Pratt noticed that the 
terrain had become wilder and so had 
the spelling on the road signs. He real- 
ized he was in Wales and that he hadn’t 
made a reservation at the inn Donna 
had recommended. He stopped in a 
town whose main drag wasn't as long as 
the string of consonants that made up 
its name. He phoned ahead and nailed 
down the last available room. 

He arrived at sunset. The inn was sit- 
uated at the head of a long narrow val- 
ley that was backlighted in bronze. A 
slender lake was performing molten 
Technicolor tricks along the valley 
floor. The steep hillsides were carpeted 
in lurid emerald greenery and dotted 
with gold-pink-purple impressionist 
sheep. Behind the inn rose а long-ex- 
tinct volcano. All Donna had said was, 
Nice place, good halemg. 

True and true. The innkeepers were 
a ruddy-cheeked old couple who wel- 
comed Pratt effusively enough to qual- 
ify them as honorary Italians. Dinner 
was ambitious enough to have originat- 
ed on the far side of the Channel as 
well. Afterward in the lounge the other 
guests went out of their way to include 
the lone foreigner in their сопуегза- 
tion. Pratt did his best to repay them 
with the pleasant surprise of meeting 
an American who was unassuming and 
fluent in English. They were quite tak- 
en with him. He wished that Donna 
had seen it. He wondered what she 
was doing. 

The next day Pratt hiked up the 
mountain and around the crater rim. A 
beauty. 

Pratt liked hiking alone. The soli- 
tude, settings and endorphins put 
things in perspective. As he sat on an 
outcropping and watched the wind 
rippling the long wild grass on the 
slopes below, Pratt's perspective was 
that he longed to trade his solitude and 
endorphins for Donna. He wanted her 
to be here. He wanted them to travel 
everywhere and make love on volcanic 
rims and have kids who'd be best 
friends with Dick and Chloe's kids. He 
was in love. Not the close-enough-for- 
rock-and-roll version he'd felt for 


Suzie. The real thing. Love. This was 
not some endorphin-glow delusion. 
This had been there long before the 
hike, it had been going оп. . . continu- 
ously since that little grin and the 
earplugs. Love. Christ. Thirty-nine 
fucking years old and he's first-time, 
full-tilt, chest-pang loony in love. Не 
wondered how foolish it was to feel this 
way about someone he hadn’t slept 
with. Maybe it wouldn't be so great. 
He doubted that. Donna was good at 
things. He looked forward to finding 
out. He would make it his life’s work. 


When Pratt came down off the 
mountain he found Donna in a mead- 
ow behind the inn, tossing a stick for 
the innkeepers’ aged retriever. Pratt 
tried to find something amusingly 
adult to say. He settled for not running 
up to her, kissing her and flinging her 
to the ground. He walked up to her, 
kissed her and took her to his room. 
Their room. 


Sex and hiking and sex and eating 
and sex and a castle and sex in Wales. A 
rainy weekend in Bath, museums dur- 
ing the day, pubs and dancing at night, 
urgent squirming in the car on a coun- 
try lane with a downpour drumming 
on the sheet metal like the ghost of 
Keith Moon. Liquids, liquids. The surf 
licking the cliffs on the Cornwall coast. 
A night of serious drinking followed by 
serious rug burns when they couldn't 
make it all the way from the door to the 
bed. A long drive east to Cambridge to 
do the cornball tourist thing, punting 
on the Cam. Worth it. But the clock 
was running. Tomorrow would be one 
last day together in London. Morning 
after that Donna’s plane would take 
her away. 

They dawdled in the huge clawfoot 
tub in their Cambridge hotel. Finally 
Pratt got out, brought the phone over 
and got back in. He began to call the 
hotel in London, the one in South 
Kensington where they had stayed 
separately at the start of the trip. Don- 
na stopped him; she wanted to stay 
someplace else. Pratt sensed the South 
Ken place had other memories at- 
tached and Donna didn't want to play 
mix and match. Pratt didn't ask. Donna 
hadn't talked about her love life and 
hadn't inquired about his. Pratt was 
OK with that. The past could wait. The 
future too. Pratt was living totally in 
the now, something he had experi- 
enced before only when clinging to a 
rock wall or when being bashed around 

(concluded on page 144) 


nent or diversion; amusement, Sport; Irolic. 


PLAYBOY. 


ala'bo1). 1. A sporty fellow bent upon 
eee seeking; a man-about-town; 
. lover of life; а bon vivant. 2. The $ = 
nagazine edited for the edification and enter- 
ainment of urban men; i.e., in the June issue: 
You Can Make a Million Today” by J. Paul 
xetty; a psychological portrait of Reno by 
Ierbert Gold; five pages of color photography 
n the Grand Prix 1n Monaco with description 
y Charles Beaumont; cartoonist Shel Silver- 
tein visits Hawaii.-played out (plad out), 
p. Performed to the end; also, exhausted; used 
p.—player (pla'er), n. One who plays; an ac- 
ог; а musician. —playful (pla'fool; -f1), adj. 
‘ull of play; sportive; also, humorous —play- 
nate (pla^mat), n. A companion 
a play.—Playmate (Pla’mät)), 
. A popular pictorial feature in 
LAYBOY magazine depicting 
eautiful girl i in pin-up pose; shor- 
ening of “Playmate of the 
Tonth”; ie, Austrian beauty 
leidi Becker in June issue; 
ence, without cap., any very 
ttractive female companion to a 
layboy.—playock (pla'ük), п * 
Prob. dim. of play, n.] Бы. FS een 
cot. —playoff (pla’6f’), п. Sports. A final con- 


MISS JUNE 1961. Our cover, a playful nod to Noah Web- 
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man's vocabulary. Hef and Art Director Arthur Paul de- 
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characterized a playboy as a lover of life, and we'll stick with 
that definition today. The Playmate in that issue was the al- 
ready well-defined Heidi Becker. Heidi played the cameo 
role on the cover as а reminder that words sometimes fail us. 


CI ш ш и иш 


“Т knew your parties were the talk of Savannah, Lady Vandiver, but 
until now I never knew why.” 


103 


110 


article by CRAIG VETTER 
ANOTHER Day at the office for Liz 
Masakayan and Karolyn Kirby, and they 
look a little tired. It’s 8:30 on a Sunday 
morning at the end of August. Their mo- 
tel wake-up call was late, so they had to 
hurry breakfast, hustle to the grandstand 
court on Manhattan Beach in Los Ange- 
les, peel down to two-piece swimsuits, 
slather themselves with sunscreen and, 
against a light breeze, under perfect sun- 
shine, start bumping a volleyball back 
and forth to each other. They are warm- 
ing up for their semifinal match in the 
Reebok Nationals, the finale of the Wom- 
en’s Professional Volleyball Association 
tour. Across the net, Dennie Shupryt- 
Knoop and Deb Richardson are working 
on their serves. 

On the promenade above the beach 
volleyball courts, three sailors in starched 
whites have stopped to watch. “Major 
babe alert,” says one of them as they gawk 
with shameless delight at the four beauti- 


ILLUSTRATION BY DENNIS MUKAI 


they spike. they kill. 

they wear ads on their 
bikini bottoms. but how else 
can you make a good 
living on the beach? 


SLLYBALL 
SDDESSES 


ful, nearly naked women who are about 
to go to work. I eavesdrop as the men ar- 
gue their preferences according to body 
type and hair color. The options before 
the sailors are all appealing: Masakayan, 
dark and exotic, 5'8”; Shupryt-Knoop, 
blonde, athletically compact; Kirby, a 
beautifully proportioned 5'11”, also with 
blonde hair; and Richardson, a lean and 
stretchy 61“. 

A few minutes later, as the game starts, 
Kirby stops the sailors’ beauty-contest 
patter dead by skying off the sand to 
spike a ball (it's about the size of a man's 
head) with an explosive force that has to 
remind them of gunnery practice. The 
courtside spectators turn their chairs 
over to get out of the way of the vicious 
blast. The sailors look at one another as if 
they've just seen Shaq jam one. They 
laugh, exchange low fives and make their 
way onto the sand and into the grand- 
stand to watch the rest of the game. Kirby 
and Masakayan (continued on page 124) 


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112 


Full here Rising 


A COUPLE OF Hours before the 
sight of his naked, middle-aged 
fanny began filling television 
screens across America, Dennis 


character. It’s rare to see a man 


РЕАУВОУ РВОЕ! ЕЕ ДЕ age, wich his outward gruff- 


ness, act in that sort of manner.” 
Yet for all that, it was Franz’ be- 


Franz sat in his trailer on the BY STEVE ONEY hind that would tonight be ex- 


Twentieth Century Fox lot in Los 

Angeles replaying a cassette of the soon-to-air 
footage. The actor had filmed the scene without 
makeup after convincing himself that a tiny scar 
from a spider bite was dramatically plausible. (His 
character, Detective Andy Sipowicz, had been shot 
in the wallet in NYPD Blue's pilot episode.) But 
now that the moon, so to speak, would soon be ris- 
ing, Franz was less sure, and he kept scrutinizing 
the image of his nether region, searching for that 
pinprick ofred until the absurdity of it all dawned 
оп him and he asked: “What kind of guy am I? I've. 
got a beautiful woman in the shower with me, and 
I'm rewinding the tape to look at my ass?” 

The woman was Sharon Lawrence, who in the 
role of Sylvia Costas shares this moment with 
Sipowicz, baring not just her own derriere but an 
area of her lover's psyche that has long been off- 
limits. At first, Sipowicz tries to push Costas away, 
protesting: “I usually shower alone.” Then, when 
she not only persists but also begins sudsing what 
can only be his most private parts, he flat-out 
balks: “Whoa, whoa. 1 usually wash myself down 
there.” Finally, however, he submits, allowing ten- 


tatively: “Boy, that'll sure be clean.” 

As Sipowicz’ lines suggest, his character’s nudity 
is almost secondary to something else, a story that 
has been unfolding on NYPD Blue since it pre- 
miered in September 1993, the story of a1 
cop recovering elements of his humanity. 
wicz hadn't been devoid of sex in the past” noted 
Franz, “but those were financial transactions. 
When he wanted it, he paid for it. Last year, he ad- 
mitted he hadn't had sex sober in 20 years. Now, 
he’s having to learn how to play, to be naughty— 
like an adolescent. That's part of the charm of his 


posed before a nationwide televi- 
sion audience. He was understandably thinking 
less about Andy Sipowicz’ demons than about the 
fact that he was joining an exclusive club, the 
handful of TV actors—most of them courtesy of 
NYPD Blue—who've revealed on camera as much 
of their anatomy as network strictures allow. Call it 
full dorsal nudity. On the one hand, he was flat- 
tered that someone might want to see his less-than- 
svelte self in the altogether. “Back when we were 
conceiving the show,” he remarked, “1 was asked if 
Thad any qualms, and I said, ‘If they want to see it, 
they're welcome.” By the same token, however, he 
was aware that he was opening himself to ridicule, 
confiding: "I know that my friends, my family, my 
loved ones—people I don't ordinarily show my 
rear end to—are going to see it. 1 imagine tomor- 
row I'm going to be the rear end of a lot of jokes." 
With that, Franz emerged from his trailer, which 
is moored next to the soundstage that houses 
NYPD Blue's sets, and stepped across the lot to the 
space where his Jaguar was parked. АЙ he could do 
now was await the outcome at home. 
Predictably, the calls started coming the next 


he’s not handsome, hip or sexy. how did dennis franz become the molten soul of nypd blue? 


morning, yet the day was nearly over before the 
rump roast commenced in earnest. As it hap- 
pened, it was Thanksgiving eve, and Franz and his 
longtime inamorata, Joanie Zeck, were up baking, 
the TV tuned to The Tonight Show. when Jay Leno 
plunged into his opening monolog. 

“So, Dennis Franz bared his butt on NYPD Blue,” 
Leno began. 

Pause. Then: “Did they think we needed to see 
that before Thanksgiving? I guess a lot of people 
won't be eating white meat.” 

Laughter, Encore: “Franz intended this as a 


ILLUSTRATION BY OAVID LEVINE 


No 


\ 
| ү 
M 7 
np р y 


PLAYBOY 


114 


public service ad: This is your butt. 
This is your butt on Twinkies.” 

Like Leno’s studio audience, Franz 
and Zeck found this to be genuinely 
amusing. For an actor, Franz is surpris- 
ingly devoid of vanity, and he appre- 
ciated the broad comedic target his 
posterior offered. Which was lucky. 
‘The episode scored one of the best rat- 
ings in NYPD Blue history, making it 
the week's fifth-highest-rated show and 
meaning that 16.7 million households, 
more than a fourth of the viewing au- 
dience, had seen Franz’ buns of molten 
steel au naturel. 


That it would be the unveiling of 
Dennis Franz’ bottom—and not that of 
his decidedly more buff former side- 
kick, David Caruso, or present partner, 
Jimmy Smits—that sent NYPD Blue's 
Nielsens through the roof seems, at 
first blush, astonishing. As Franz will 
willingly confess, he’s not exactly mati- 
nee idol material. 

Fifty years old, weighing 210 
pounds, and standing just over 5111”, 
Franz is the very picture of a Rust Belt 
man. Though he doesn’t carry much 
fat, his physique can best be described 
as lumpy, and he admits that when it 
comes to dieting, the most he ever does 
is “occasionally pass up a doughnut.” 
(Indeed, in contrast to the preparation 
of other actors, Franz didn't try to get 
in shape before his NYPD Blue nude 
scene.) Then there's the mug—bald- 
ing, of course, and jowly, with 2 beak 
of а nose, mustache and cartoon eye- 
brows. To learn that Franz was born 
Dennis Schlachta in an ethnically bal- 
kanized Chicago suburb (his stage name, 
which rhymes with prawns, was his fa- 
ther’s first name) comes as no surprise. 

But whether he looks the part or not, 
Dennis Franz is a star, a sex symbol 
even, who receives indecent proposals 
in his fan mail, is accorded “heart- 
throb” status by the National Enquirer 
and pops up on the cover of People 
magazine's Valentine's Day issue. And 
not only that, there has been excep- 
tional critical acclaim. For his work on 
NYPD Blue, Franz took home both the 
1994 Emmy and the 1995 Golden 
Globe for best actor in a dramatic tele- 
vision series. 

The reasons for Franz’ success are 
many. For starters, he’s a legitimately 
skilled performer. Steven Bochco, who, 
along with David Milch, created and 
produces NYPD Blue, has been using 
Franz ever since he cast him as the 
fiendish Sal Benedetto in Hill Street 
Blues 13 years ago. Bochco speaks of 
Franz’ “big, big engine" and his "metic- 
ulous” work habits, Then there's the 
fact that NYPD Blue was basically writ- 


ten for Franz. “When David and I con- 
ceived the show,” recalls Bochco, “the 
first thing I did was hire Dennis. We 
didn’t even have a script.” Yet finally, 
there’s something else, something spe- 
cific to Franz as a man. 

Spend time around those who know 
Franz and they will invariably volun- 
teer that he’s that rarest of items, a vir- 
tuous soul. Bochco, who's not the sort 
to sing false praises, vows: “He has 
a genuinely good heart. He's fiercely 
ethical. That's what I respond to. My 
dad was that way.” David Milch echoes 
this sentiment: "Den: а gentle- 
man—civil and sweet-spirited.” Actor 
Joe Mantegna, whose friendship with 
Franz dates back to when they started 
out together in Chicago theater in the 
early Seventies, goes even further: "If T 
had to choose three human beings to 
watch my backside if such an occasion 
arose, Dennis would be one of them. 
It's that Midwestern mentality—no 
pretense, no hidden agendas. You al- 
ways know where you stand with Den- 
nis. If he's your friend, Нез your 
friend.” 

Considering that acting is a profes- 
sion dependent on artifice, the link be- 
tween Franz’ decency and his power 
on-screen тау seem unclear—but not 
to Bochco. “To use Milch’s word,” he 
says, “there's an interesting ‘double- 
ness’ about Dennis. You're always at- 
tracted to his blue-collar toughness. 
But inevitably, as his characters pro- 
gress, his goodness begins to emerge 
through that blue-collar toughness.” 

It's this inner aura, Bochco believes, 
that draws viewers to the outwardly re- 
pugnant Andy Sipowicz. “In Sipowicz, 
we've created a very edgy character, in 
many ways a bigot, loaded with biases. 
But endlessly leaking through the 
cracks of that facade is Dennis’ good- 
ness. The trap for us as writers, in fact, 
is not to give in to it. It’s important to 
take Sipowicz back to that darker side.” 

The dark side, of course, is from 
whence Sipowicz sprang in all his glory 
in NYPD Blue's pilot. Alcoholic, misogy- 
nistic and armed, Sipowicz announced 
himself to the world—and to Costas, 
the assistant D.A. who later becomes 
his lover—by grabbing his crotch and 
snarling: "Ipso this, you pissy little bitch.” 

And it is the dark side that has ii 
formed countless subsequent Sipowi 
outbursts. Not since Archie Bunker has 
anyone voiced as many insulting or off- 
color sentiments in prime time. But 
whereas Bunker delivered them in the 
form of armchair rants, Sipowicz serves 
them in your face. 

During the course of NYPD Blue's 
two seasons, Sipowicz has unleashed a 
number of memorable verbal sallies. 
Some are shots across the bow of polite 
sensibility. For instance, his crack to an 


aging, gay screenwriter who wanted 
him to estimate the value of an Acade- 
my Award statue stolen by some rough 
trade: “Мг Rickman, Га love to sit 
here with you figuring out what some- 
one would pay to whip his skippy while 
he looks at your Oscar, but we're могі 
ing a multiple homicide right nov." 
Likewise, his crack to a wife-killing chi- 
ropractor who asked about Sipowicz 
bad back: “Maybe I can get over it 
thinking of you in Ossining getting 
acupuncture up your dirt chute.” Oth- 
ers, however, are blows at political cor- 
rectness, particularly a tirade he un- 
leashed at an obdurate black man 
named Futrel who believed he was be- 
ing interrogated in a murder investiga- 
tion solely because of his skin color: 


sirowicz: “Hey, pal, I'm trying 
to find some assholes before they 
murder another innocent family. 
It so happens that these particular 
assholes are black. Now, how do 
you want me to go about this? You 
want me to put the questions, “I’m 
sorry for the injustices the white 
man has inflicted upon your race, 
but can you provide any informa- 
tion? I'm sorry your people have 
been downtrodden for 300 years, 
but did you discuss the layout of 
the Sloan house with any of your 
friends?" 

TUTREL: “Yeah. Do it that way.” 

sırowicz: “OK. I know that 
great African American George 
Washington Carver discovered 
the peanut, but can you provide 
the names and addresses of these 
friends?” 


Like Bochco says, there's not a lot on 
the surface to love. And yet the audi- 
ence loves Sipowicz, and that it does 
is a testimony to Franz. Admittedly, 
NYPD Blue's writers have endowed 
Sipowicz with enough saving grace to 
give the actor a starting place. How 
could a hardened cop -who collects 
tropical fish not tug at heartstrings? 
And the romance between Sipowicz 
and Costas has softened a few edges. 
But finally, it's Franz who furnishes the 
transformative magic. “The dimension 
and subtlety and depth Dennis brings 
to that character are something to see,” 
says David Milch, who scripts the bulk 
of Sipowicz dialogue. 

To illustrate his point, Milch de- 
scribed a moment he witnessed when 
NYPD Blue was filming in New York. In 
the episode, Sipowicz probes the sex- 
ual violation and murder of an immi- 
grant boy as he comes to grips vith the 
distance between himself and his es- 
tranged son. During the course of his 

(continued on page 156) 


“Stop being so gender specific!” 


лт р" t 


| 


JENNIFER COMPTON 5’ 


at long last, a tribute to small wonders 


N DEPARTMENT STORES, they're called petites. In school- 
yards, they're short stuff. In the business world, they're 
little dynamos. At amusement parks, they're “below 
this line,” in Texas, they're little ladies and in bed, 
they're, well, highly mobile. But have you ever heard one 
described with the kinds of adjectives—statuesque, strik- 
ing, bombshell—heaped on the Naomi Campbells and 
Christy Turlingtons of the world? Not likely. Face it, in this 


bigger-is-better era, little women tend to get short shrift 


Until now. “We were talking about the hundreds of picto- 
rials we've done in the past,” says PLAYBOY Senior Photo Ed- 
itor Jim Larson, “and we suddenly realized that we'd 
somehow overlooked petite women. We knew we had to fix 
that.” Larson put the word out, and before you could say 
Lilliputian, an army of bantam beauties lit upon the 
PLAYBOY shores. “The truth is, they were all completely 
adorable,” Larson recalls. “But they were also extremely 


sexy.” Think he's telling you a tall tale? Look for yourself. 


Jennifer Compton (ot left and above) is an Ohio native who now lives in Florida, where she manages o lingerie boutique. Her size is 
not on indicator of her ambition. She comes from a “strong, successful, hordworking family"—and intends to keep that legacy alive. 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY RICHARD FEGLEY 


REBECCA FURMAN 5’3” a RACHEL FURMAN 5'3* 


ive duo is borely on arm's length toller than, say, the 76ers’ Shawn Bradley. But they're twin towers of energy. Both like ta wo- 

i, and while Rebecca dreams cf winding up on MTV, Rachel wants to “travel, experience new things and make it big.” Belaw is Emi- 
ly Prince, a waitress and madel from California. A lover of cowboys, old movies, springtime and country living, Emily hopes one day ta 
have her own ranch. Fellow Golden Stater Tonya Watts (aiming for the stars, apposite) trekked west from Alabama to make a splash in 


TONYA WATTS 5'1* 


KRISTEN LEE 


52" 


- ELIZABETH WILLIAMS 5/3” 


"| love dimples ond a greot smile,” says y Ciccarelli (at 
left), a mail-order entrepreneur from the r dream 
man? The somewhat taller Brad Pitt. Elizabeth Williams 
(above) hails from Texas, where she has gone into Dod's busi- 
ness—selling cars (compacts, по doubt). Chicago's Kristen 
Lee (below) plans a career in physical therapy—or showbiz. 


2777 


Г 
& 


р 
à 


| 
| 
MELISSA MARKS 5’ y 


Melissa Marks (abave) wos а competitive ice skater, but now the 
transplanted Texan lives on the West Coast and langs to be с writer. 
April Waddell (right) was born in Georgia and now warks as a 
nursing assistant in Washington State. Off-haurs you can find April 
skiing. Philippines-born Jecniffer Vuylsteke (below) waits tables at a 
sports bar. Her gaal is to be “a successful businesswoman and wife.” 


JEANIFFER VUYLSTEKE 5’ 


BONNY GIROUX 5'2* 


Canadian Bonny Giroux (above) likes bubble baths and Italian food. "My family and I have lived in a nudist colony for nine years,” she 
says. "And during my high school years, | lived with nuns.” Alicia Zepp (below) is an Alabama homemaker who fancies swimming with dol- 
phins and men in tight Levi's. Her big plans: "to have с log cabin on 20 acres of land.” Finally, meet Shannon Leahy (opposite), a madel 
and part-time carpenter from New York. Shannon and all the rest should take comfort in the thaught that it’s a small world, after all. 


ALICIA ZEPP 5'1* 


| SHANNON LEAHY 5'2* 


PLAYBOY 


124 


VELLEY BALL uou 


"I brought dinner to them, and Karolyn was naked 
on the massage table. They told me to come in.” 


overcome their morning fatigue and 
take care of business in a hard-serving, 
sand-crashing, 15-9 win. 

“I'm not sure what men expect when 
they come to a tournament,” says Kirby 
after the match. “They may come for 
the bikinis, but they stay for the com- 
petition, and they go away with re- 
spect. When it's over, they know that 
what they've seen out here are not 
your average women.” 

That's putting it mildly. These 
women were scholar-athletes in col- 
lege, and they have the strength and 
stature that goes with the title. Most of 
them hold other, full-time jobs—there 
are lawyers, personal trainers, entre- 
preneurs, real estate agents, inter- 
preters, accountants, volleyball coach- 
es, mechanical engineers, restaurant 
managers, actresses, teachers and city 
planners on the tour—and many have 
young children. 

Dennie Shupryt-Knoop, 2 39-year- 
old who runsa business from her home 
in Los Angeles, survived southern Cal- 
ifornia’s November 1993 wildfires, the 
January 1994 earthquake and the 
postfire mudslides. She gave birth toa 
daughter on February 11, 1994 and 
ten weeks later took fourth place with 
Deb Richardson in the Reebok Fort 
Lauderdale Open. Other than that, 
she's just out there getting a good tan, 
playing a game that most people think 
of as something to do until the burgers 
are finished grilling. 


Beach volleyball began in California 
in the Fifties as casual pickup games 
on improvised courts at Malibu, State 
Beach and Laguna. Back then the seri- 
ous athletes played for beach chairs 
and beer; the rest of us wandered into 
the games for something to do when 
we weren't surfing or swimming or fry- 
ing on the sand. It was a gentler game 
then—like basketball before the 
dunk—and because most colleges had 
volleyball programs for women but not 
for men, the women in the beach 
games were often the only ones with 
any real hitting skills, finesse or sense 
of strategy. 

Amateur tournaments sprang up 
along the coast in the Sixties and early 
Seventies, and by 1976 the level of play 
among the men was high enough to 
attract sponsorship for the first pro- 
fessional contest ever, in Pacific Pal- 


isades—total prize money $5000. Since 
then, the men's tour, under the aus- 
Pices of the Association of Volleyball 
Professionals, has exported this little 
piece of the California dream to cities 
all over the country, where it plays to 
hundreds of thousands of fans, and оп- 
to television, where it has grown into 
а sophisticated marketing entity that 
in 1994 attracted enough sponsorship 
money and TV revenues to offer a 
prize kitty of more than $4 million. 
The Women’s Professional Volleyball 
Association, organized ten years after 
the men’s tour, played the season for a 
total purse of slightly more than 
$600,000, the highest ever, 


Money, of course, has changed the 
game, but it hasn't changed the scene 
much. The beach at Manhattan is still a 
gorgeous swath, stretching north into 
the luminous glow where the bright 
sun hits the Los Angeles smog, and 
south to Hermosa and the ragged blue 
clifftops of Palos Verdes. By midmorn- 
ing on Sunday of the WPVA final, the 
promenade above the beach is a river 
of walking, jogging, skating, biking 
flesh and summer colors. The grand- 
stand around center court is full, and 
the beach is standing-room-only all the 
way to the tents representing the com- 
mercial tribes that sponsor the wom- 
en's tour: Reebok, Coors Light, Killer 
Loop sunglasses, Chevrolet, Naya (“the 
goddess of bottled waters”). Admission 
to WPVA tournaments is free. Spon- 
sors pay expenses, put up prize money 
and give away towels, water bottles and 
other beach paraphernalia in the hope 
they'll become logo-linked with this 
lifestyle sport, as the marketing people 
call it. 

Just before 11 A... CBS cameramen 
take their places to prepare for a live 
national telecast, while the master of 
ceremonies introduces the finalists: 
Barbra Fontana, born in Manhattan 
Beach, is 56” and one of the tour's 
great defensive players. She’s 29 years 
old and works as a lawyer. In 1994 she 
was president of the player-governed 
WPVA. Her partner, Lori Kotas- 
Forsythe, is 61” and 36 years old. She's 
a durable player who ranks seventh on 
the list of all-time tour money-winners. 
The team of Barbra Fontana and Lori 
Kotas-Forsythe had two tournament 
wins in 1994. 


Unfortunately for them, they are 
competing against Liz Masakayan and 
Karolyn Kirby, who have won each of 
the ten previous competitions they en- 
tered this year. Masakayan—who goes 
by the nicknames Flyin’ Masakayan 
and the Lizard—is quick, powerful, in- 
tense. Now 30 years old, she was а two- 
time UCLA all-American and member 
of the 1988 Olympic indoor team, and 
she is second on the WPVAS list of 
career money-winners. Her partner, 
Karolyn Kirby, has yet to acquire a 
nickname, but who needs one when 
everybody calls you “the best woman to 
ever play the sport”? At 34 years old, 
she is first in nearly every category for 
which women's volleyball keeps statis- 
tics, including wins and earnings. She 
is a huge hitter and has battered her 
way to league MVP honors five of the 
past six seasons. 

“Partnership is everything in this 
game,” says Kirby when I question the 
two of them about their slamming suc- 
cess. “Liz and I fit together quite well. 
We both like living on the edge, we're 
spontaneous, we don’t like to be bored. 
Our style is physical, powerful and 
graceful. And we can say things on 
the court in the heat of the game with- 
ош causing each other to get weird or 
defensive.” 

“Trust, loyalty, communication, ma- 
turity,” says Masakayan, summing up 
die strengdis of the шаш. “And hard 
work.” 

“What about life on the tour other 
than volleyball?" 1 ask. 

"What life?” says Masakayan, and 
they both laugh. 

“You have to pick your spots,” says 
Kirby. “It takes a lot of energy to sight- 
see or go to dinner with people when 
you're exhausted, you have an 8 л.м. 
match and a pulled muscle you have to 
spend the night working on.” 

I tell them that I know something 
about their massage-table moments. 
Tm staying in the same hotel they are, 
and on my first morning there, the 
room-service waiter, Tony, brought my 
breakfast and said, “Do you know 
who's in the room across the hall? 
Karolyn Kirby and Liz Masakayan." 
He paused for my acknowledgment, 
then dropped his voice and said, “Yes- 
terday afternoon I brought dinner to 
them, and Karolyn was naked on a 
massage table." He savored this a mo- 
ment, then quickly added, “They told 
me to come in." 

Kirby and Masakayan laugh at the 
story and bat it back and forth between 
them. 

"Oh yes, come in, Tony, come in," 
says Masakayan. 

“Here's the oil, Tony,” counters Kir- 
by. “Let me show you how this is done.” 

(continued on page 146) 


“Hello, intensive care? Mr. Thompson here at 1500 feet having an out-of-body experience.” 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY JAMES IMBROGNO 


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вт. 


А sa child growing up on the New Jer- 
sey shore, Kurt Loder would tuck a ra- 
dio under his pillow at night and tune in to 
a Tennessee radio station that played black 
music. "It was like something from another 
planet,” he remembers. “A planet you would 
like to visit and perhaps establish residency 
on. Pue been able to do that.” 

MTV's news anchor, who presides over 
“Day in Rock” and ils longer weekend edi- 
tion, “Week in Rock,” is hardly a creature of 
television. After serving as an Army jour- 
nalist in Europe, Loder remained an expa- 
triale before returning to the U.S. to write 
about music—his passion—for small rock 
magazines. A nine-year stint at “Rolling 
Stone” followed. His fascination with the 
sounds of Memphis and the Mississippi 
Delia served Loder well. He collaborated 
with Tina Turner on her autobiography, “I, 
Tina,” which inspired the hit film "What's 
Love Got to Do With It.” 

Despite a bad attitude and what he insists 
is problem һай, Loder was recruited by an 
MTV vice president looking to expand the 
network's programming beyond rock videos. 
His stock in trade is reporting on rock and 
zoll and the not always unrelated issues of 
politics, race and freedom of speech. Last 
year he wrote and reported “Straight Dope,” 
MTV's hour-long special on the drug prob- 


lem. He has also 

d guided viewers on 

MIV's news Fr, шш 

Madonna's ward- 

anchor ar- — 77 (lingerie т- 

cluded) while she 

gues that was shooting her 

rockis not 7220422 
in Spain. 

ion- Warren Kalback- 

revolution- Haren Kalbach 

i for several hours. 

ary, spills He reporis: “Loder 

had a lot to get off 

the beans his chest about such 

minor topics as mu- 

on tabitha sic, culture and tele- 

soren and vision. Of course, 


ту first question 


predicts the ае аа” 
inevitability Ъ 


PLAYBOY: What's 


of penis the latest on sex, 

^ drugs and rock 
trading and roll? 

LODER: Sex has 

cards not gone away. 


It's still here and 
people are still 
having it. Not in 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY DAVIO ROSE 


my bailiwick recently. Kids are listening 
to hard-core metal and rap that's as 
violent as possible. When you are а 
kid, you're angry. So you want to see 
somebody get offed. When we were 
younger, we just wanted to get a date, 
but now they want to see the bitch 
killed. Don't you wish you were young 
now? I could really get into it. My son 
has a difficult time because I'm often 
turning him on to records. He would 
like to shock me, but it's hard. The idea 
of rock and roll—being 15 years old 
and wanting to get fucked up and go 
wild—always made perfect sense to me. 
Then you wind up middle-aged with 
some of the world’s worst habits. 


a: 


PLAYBOY: From the vantage of a rock- 
and-roll historian, what's your take on 
rockers’ ability—or lack thereof—to 
handle fame and fortune? 

LODER: It’s changed. Kurt Cobain was а 
really talented guy who felt burdened 
by fame. This is the new generation 
of kids—the sensitive generation. The 
older guys weren't like that at all. They 
wanted to be famous. They wanted the 
money, the drugs, the sex. And they 
got it. They still have it. And they have 
much younger wives. You can’t imag- 
ine Mick Jagger killing himself because 
he was too famous. That just wouldn't 
have happened. 


3. 


PLAYBOY: As MTV’s news anchor, do 
you feel you're accorded the respect 
due a broadcast journalist with a na- 
tional audience? 

LODER: They pay me every two weeks. 
That's pretty much what we ask, right? 
I work. You pay me. Dan Rather and 
those guys are real reporters. I'm not 
telegenic, but we worked on that. A 
monkey can do this. You just get com- 
fortable so you don’t look like you're in 
pain, which tends to put people off. 1 
learned journalism in the Army. The 
Army taught us journalism in two 
months. That's a little too long because 
the basics of journalism take a month 
to learn. It’s amazing to me that you 
can study television in college. What do 
you study? What would you know at 
the end of the course? 1 don't get it, 
Сай me old-fashioned. 


4. 


PLAYBOY: Do you advise MTV viewers 
to supplement your news coverage 


o ase the th 48 
with C-Span, subscriptions to The Econ- 
omist and Foreign Affairs and the study 
of Richard Nixon's postpresidential 
writings? 

LODER: I generally don't tell people 
what to do. But if you're getting all 
your news from television, you're not 
getting the news. You can’t be well-in- 
formed without print. In fact, print is 
the source of all the stories you see on 
television. Television is good at imme- 
diacy, but the depth of coverage that 
you get from print will never be dupli- 
cated. It won't be replaced, either. The 
other day ata Rolling Stones press con- 
ference, some guy from one of the net- 
works asked me what [ thought. And 1 
said, “It just proves that you can take 
lots of drugs and have lois of sex and 
sull be making money at the age of 50.” 
And the guy said, "I don't think that's 
the message we want го send.” I said, 
“When did news become a matter of 
the message we want to send? I 
thought it was the facts we wanted to 
send.” So the idea that people in televi- 
sion are Curators of journalistic ethics is 
true. Thank Cod for print. To me that's 
real journalism. If you're not reading, 
you're not informed. Even if you're lis- 
tening to me. 


5. 


PLAYBOY: Tell us something surprising 
about your colleague Tabitha Soren. 
LODER: She has a deep punk-rock back- 
ground. I hesitate to go further. 
There's nothing scandalous, but she 
has a real music background. She was a 
fan and she's nota fake. Her real name 
is Sorenberger, and I think it's Norwe- 
gian. One of those Scando countries. 
She's great. 1 love Tabitha. Very smart, 
very ambitious, very sweet. Real cute. 
She's 27 now. Wow! She's sprouted 
right up. She really researches her 
stuff. She's better than most of the peo- 
ple we see on networks. I guess we'd 
have to say she's a credit to her genera- 
tion. That's a terrible thing to say. 


6. 


PLAYBOY: Comment on rock and roll as 
a revolutionary movement. 

LODER: Rock and roll was never revolu- 
tionary. There was nothing done in 
rock and roll that hadn't been done by 
R&B. The great thing about early rock 
and roll is chat it created a new social 
mixture of black and white people. 
Rock and roll was a new way of looking 
at the world and saying black people 


129 


РЕАУВОУ 


have great talents and are pretty cool. 
Some white people thought they would 
like to be black. 1 remember feeling that 
way. It’s a shame to see that breaking 
down now. Yet the biggest audience for 
rap is white kids with their baseball caps 
on backward. Rap brings races together 
without preaching. You hear this music 
and you say, “That's cool.” I’m white, but 
Га like to be cool anyway and escape be- 
ing just a white person. Perhaps we were 
allowed to become white with soul or as- 
Pirations to soul. And our lives were 
much improved by it. You can't believe a 
word Jesse Helms says after you've 
heard Otis Redding. You just can't. 


The 


PLAYBOY: Is rock and гой humanity's last 
best hope? 

Lover: For me it was everything in life 
you wanted to be. Anybody who grew up 
in the Fifties or early Sixties remembers 


how dull and preposterous those times 
were. I wanted to cut loose and do things 
the beatnik guys were doing. The beat- 
niks were really cool, but they didn't 
have rock and roll. They had jazz. Jazz is 
good, but you can't dance to it. So rock 
and roll was perfect. It was stupid, it was 
universal and it was brilliant and beauti- 
ful. Doo-wop songs are beautiful. Lowe 
Louie 15 beautiful. 1 think the FBI studied 
it for a while. If you can picture those 
guys sitting around listening to it. The 
words are easily available, but in the 
recording done by the Kingsmen, no 
one could understand what was going 
on. Not even the guys who were singing 
it. Itcould have been dirty. Can we imag- 
ine a time when people cared? It was a 
much more innocent ume. I’m sure 
there are conservatives who wish we had 
Louie Louie back again and that Dr. Dre 
and Snoop Doggy Dogg were some- 
where else. 


I РЕ 


“Thanks. Му wife's breathing 
appears to be normal now. . . . I said, my 


wife's breathing. . . 


. I said... . Hey!” 


8. 


PLAYBOY: You've said that Tina Turner 
changed your life. Describe what she did 
for you. 

LODER: I was a white kid growing up 
among white people—this is like 1960. 
Ike and Tina records had come out and 
this stuff was just pow! Recorded on one 
mike and in one take. It was so hot. It 
just spoke of another world, to a white 
kid surrounded by people in lime green 
polyester clothes, drinking scotch. And it 
made you want to go out and find it. It 
changed my life. Music really shaped my 
life. Without music, what would I be? 
Tina's an incredible force. I don't think 
she realizes how powerful that gift is 
when she sings. The first thing 1 said 
when I met her was, “I love those early 
records. They are brilliant.” But she told 
me she hated singing those—she 
thought it was screeching. My heart was 
broken. She hated working with Ike 
Turner. We were going to do this book 
and she had forgotten her life story, just 
blotted the whole thing out of her mind. 
She'd forgotten who was in the bands 
and what they did. So to re-create the 
story, 1 wound up trudging through Mis- 
sissippi, finding old saxophone players 
who were out fishing. Tina was really in- 
spired by white people, which is the oth- 
er side of the rock-and-roll dream. And 
she was the first to say that the white 
people she worked with gave her an idea 
that there was a world of class and man- 
ners. And now she lives in the south of 
France. So she got where she wanted to 
go. I wound up where I am. 


9. 


PLAYBOY: Do you miss vinyl discs? 

LODER: You can't roll joints on CDs. 
They're too small. You cant do any 
drugs on them. That's really a drag. No- 
body misses turning the record over. But 
I miss good sound. I miss the fullness of 
the sound. There's a whole generation 
that’s not hearing it. Ike Turner used to 
work with these sharpsters from Chica- 
go, and they'd drive around Mississippi 
with a huge Magnavox tape recorder in 
the trunk of their Rocket 88. They'd stop 
at the local electronics repair shop and 
record Homesick James. This stuff was 
really low-fi, but it's just rocking music. 
You can’t reproduce the effect of a mono 
record, which is everything coming at 
you from one point. That experience is 
lost. Everything is stereo now. The sam- 
pling rate that was established with digi- 
tal sound is so low that you're not hear- 
ing the information you would hear оп а 
record. You're hearing a distilled version 
of и. That's why people complain that 
CDs sound so icy. There's something 
missing. The sampling rate should be 
much, much higher. And it could be. 
Sampling rate means how often the ma- 
chine takes a cutting sample of the music 
being played. It takes only one from 


HIM! THERES: 
ALWAYS MORE 


here and one from there. Nirvana and 
Pearl Jam put out their records on vinyl 
first. If you listen to the Nirvana album, 
their latest one, on vinyl, it's a different 
record. And that’s why all the high-end 
audio people swear by vinyl. 


10. 


PLAYBOY: So, how nasty are the gangsta 
rappers? 

LODER: Аз nasty as they want to be, as 
they once put it. People get upset when 
black people understand the game. 
They understand it'll attract more peo- 
ple if they say, “Hey kids, this shit is 
nasty, it's about sex and bad shit.” And 
underneath all that, some of the greatest 
record production in American history is 
going on. Dr. Dre is a great, great record 
producer. The stuff that's going on in his 
tracks is phenomenal, They're using 
sounds that have never been used be- 
fore. Some of it is synthesized and some 
of it is sampled—electronically taking 
phrases and putting them into a song. 
These ghetto kids—these bad Negroes— 
have mastered this stuff. What you have 
here is a flowering of great musical tal- 
ent from the black community. Rap is a 
generational thing. If you grew up on 
Otis Redding, you're not going to listen 
to rap. But that's the point. You're not 
supposed to. 


PLAYBOY: Aren't you quite a fan of what 
you once described as “dirty music”? 

LODER: There's a grand tradition of dirty 
music, When people decry rap music, 
it’s bracing to go back and see that there 
were songs like Z Want to Put a Banana in 
Your Fruit Basket made around 1930. It's 
tremendous. People were thinking of 
sex and were thinking of women as sex 
objects. Particularly men. I don't know 
why that was. At the time, only these 
crazy Negroes were interested in this 
obviously degenerate shit. So this stuff 
could be made, recorded and sold to the 
audiences it was intended for, and white 
people had no idea. Sex is good and it 


hasn't disappeared. AIDS is a terrible 
disease, but AIDS hasn't wiped out sex. I 
hate to see AIDS used by right-wingers 
аз a way to persuade young people not 
to have sex. Because that’s generally 
what they use it for. Rappers talking 
about sex are young men talking about 
sex. Whoa! The nation’s fate is obviously 
at stake. 


12. 


PLAYBOY: Don't we detect some editorial- 
izing in your on-air body language? 
LODER: Гиз all in favor of editorializing. 
You should present both sides of every 
story, as we do. But ГА rather read 
someone's reporting knowing what their 
opinion is. I'm not trying to pull the 
wool over anybody's eyes, but kids, 
there's a lot of shit out there. The older 
I get the more appalled I am. What's 
going on with Michael Jackson? He is 
someone whose music has never moved 
me. His music is the definition of over- 
producing. Michael Jackson's minions 
sent around a note saying that from now 
on, they wanted the press to refer to him 
as the King of Fop. МТУ News, I can 
tell you, refused. Because he's not. But 
imagine the hubris of someone sending 
around that note. What kind of person 
wants to send that note? The music in- 
dustry is built on that kind of hype. We 
try to fight back as best we can. I was 
hoping to see the pictures of Jackson's 
penis, but they were never released. 
Maybe Clinton's penis pictures will be 
released. I don't know. I see a trading 
card series. 


13. 


PLAYBOY: Do you attach any special sig- 
nificance to the fact that when you ap- 
peared as an extra in the movie The Ра- 
per, director Ron Howard assigned you 
to peer at Glenn Close and Jason Ro- 
bards from over a toilet stall? 

LODER: Yes, I took it as my due. It made 
perfect sense to me. I winged it. 1 impro- 
vised. Felt the character. That lasted ten 
seconds. I had to be pointed out to my- 


self. I didn't see it. My son saw it twice. 
According to the technicians, they spent 
an entire day cleaning the men’s room 
at Radio City. It's a nice men's room. 
Everybody was there. 


14. 


PLAYBOY: Have Nirvana and Pearl Jam 
restored a purity to rock and roll that 
had been missing for a while? 

Loper: There was so much slick shit go- 
ing on. But disco is rock and roll too. 
Rock is not just a style. It's a way of look- 
ing at stuff. Jeff Beck can play with jazz 
guys or rock-and-roll guys. He's still Jeff 
Beck and he's still exciting. He has no 
idea how talented he is. Richard 
Thompson is a great, gifted guitarist and 
songwriter. He's perceived as a folk guy, 
but he's definitely a rock-and-roll kind 
of person. Rock is inclusive. I thought 
Abba was a great pop act in the tradition 
of the Phil Spector groups. They're 
Swedish but they have that echoey Phil 
Spector sound. Listen to Abba records 
and you'll hear arrangements you can’t 
believe. They're so clever. They wrote 
the first women’s lib song, Hey, Hey Hel- 
en. I miss Abba а lot. 


15. 


рглувоу: Defend the Sixties as the gold- 
en age of rock. 

LODER: It was just one of those periods 
when some massive shift was happening 
in popular culture, and that had to do 
with technology and communications. 
And being young is the most important 
part of appreciating pop culture. You 
hear things when you're 15 years old 
that make an impression you can never 
imagine. I remember hearing stuff when 
1 was 15. Wow! Amazing! All the great 
records that were made in New Orleans. 
All the Little Richard stuff. All the Hank 
Ballard and the Midnighters stuff. And 
yet you have to be that age to have it 
make an impression on you. It's a bio- 
logical thing. The people who say the 
Sixties were so great are people who 


were 15 at some point in the Sixties. On 131 


PLAYBOY 


132 


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the other hand, they really were great. 
There’s no songwriting group like the 
Beatles. There's no scene like swinging 
London. Everybody seemed to feel bet- 
ter. It was, "Let's go out and get high! 
And wear really loud clothes! What do 
you say?” Who's going to argue? These 
days everything is so freighted with so- 
ciopolitical bullshit. You just don't have 
that simple, positive pleasure anymore. 


16. 


PLAYBOY: Dig deep into your files and 
find some underappreciated music. 

торек: There's so much. I wish more 
people could hear Yma Sumac. She's a 
woman who claimed to be a sun princess 
from the Inca valleys. She probably was 
from Connecticut. Yma Sumac was not 
related to any folk tradition. No way. 


Her music is ridiculous. Wonderfully 
ridiculous. There was a kind of exoti- 
cism in the Fifties, this tiki consciousness, 


like the Mystic Moods Orchestra doing 
It's a Rainy Night in Hawaii or something. 
Whoa! It’s really exotic. Pretty good mu- 
sic. Absolutely, In the music business, 
you're inundated with records. And 
most of them are garbage. So it’s a plea- 
sure to go to 2 record store and drop a 
couple hundred dollars and just find 
stuff, It renews your enthusiasm. Go to 
the New Age section. You might find 
Brian Eno there. There are odd record 
labels run by possessed people who 
think the world needs to hear more. 
You'll find ECM, a label with a strong 
German-Scandinavian orientation to so- 
lo, austere guitars. You have to hear it to 
understand и. There's a band in Texas 
called Brave Combo that does polka ver- 
sions of Jimi Hendrix tunes. Really well. 


17. 


praxsoy: MTV programs for a young au- 
dience. You wouldn’t be worried about 
losing touch with viewers, would you? 
Loper: No. I just sort of turned 50. Nev- 
er tried to pretend J was 15 years old. 
Never tried to set myself up as an arbiter 
of young people’s music. The kids can 
do that by themselves. I just try to do 
what I do as nonstupidly as possible. 
‘There are intelligent people in every age 
group. That's an overlooked fact. My 
son is always trying to find a way to be 
different from me, but it’s hard. I love 
the latest Nirvana album too. Whoa! I’m 
not a big fan of the new Pantera album, 
but that’s a minor point. The official 
MTV demographics are the ages of 15 
to 35 or something. Demographics are 
made up all the time. Who knows what 
they are? 


18. 


riaybor: This is supposed to be the age 
of the short attention span. Have you 
adjusted your own in an effort to hold 
оп to the viewer who has the remote 
in hand? 


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134 


Loper: I have no attention span. Well, 1 
can read a book. There’s no reason to 
have a long attention span when you're 
dealing with television. Why would you? 
You have to pay attention to hours of 
garbage. Same with computers. They're 
supposed to be intuitive. There are so 
many things you can skip in life, as well 
as in technology. Don't you wish you 
could have skipped adolescence and 
gone right to getting laid? Wouldn't that 
have been great? So there's something to 
be said for short attention spans. But it's 
bad when people don't read. We may be 
losing that to a certain extent. 


19. 


rtavpoy: Do you resent the ratings suc- 
cess of your animated MTV colleagues 
Beavis and Butt-head? 

Lover: No. They get really big ratings. 
Beavis and Butt-head are perfect 
They're the greatest rock critics of all 
time. They are! Anyone who was 20 
years old at any time in the history of the 
world would love Beavis and Butt-head. 
They say, “Butt munch.” They say outra- 
geous things. They look at stupid videos 


and say, “This is really stupid. It sucks.” 
And it's so true. They're eloquent that 
way. It's offensive to parents. It's offen- 
sive to the common values we all hold 
dear. It laughs at things that you're not 
supposed to laugh at. Hey, do we love it 
or what? How can I compete with that? I 
rejoice in their shadows. 


20. 

PLAYBOY: Fess up. Are any Sixties-style 
tie-dyed boxer shorts beneath those 
black suits? 

LODER: No. I was never into that. And I 
grew up in the Sixties at a time when 
you couldn't buy any pants that weren't 
flared. I used to have long hair and oc- 
casionally still do. I look bad with long 
hair. My hair is really thin. I can't do 
anything with it. With stupid hair and 
flared pants, I didn’t make а good im- 
pression. So the Sixties weren't a good 
period for me. Now is a better time for 
me. The things I loved the most about 
the Sixties were music and drugs. 


“While you were out, all hell broke loose.” 


POSTMODERN COMIC 


(continued from page 80) 
willing teen beauty, Kuper's rabbit-eared 
alter ego gulps, breaks into a monster 
sweat and stammers, “I—I'll oblige you.” 
Similar embarrassments inform Peep 
Show, an unflinching look at the life of 
artist Joe Matt. And slackers everywhere 
can relate to the all-too-real shirking of 
comic couch potato Buddy Bradley in 
Peter Bagge's Hate, or the post-teen 
angst found in Drawn & Quarterly's Op- 
tic Nerve, by 20-year-old Adrian Tomine. 
Women writers, also bitten by reality, are 
turning out comic reads: Twisted Sisters, 
for example, is Diane Noomin's antholo- 
gy of cleverly caustic female views into 
the world of hormones and high heels. 
Not to be outdone, male writers have 
gotten in touch with their feminine 
sides: Jaime and Gilbert Hernandez’ 
long-running classic Love and Rockets fo- 
cuses on a group of chicas in the barrios 
of southern California; Why 1 Hate Saturn 
is Kyle Baker's story of a sisterly love- 
hate relationship. 

The popularity of adult comics isn't 
limited to America. In Japan, Salary- 
man—that harried and hyperaggressive 
man in the gray flannel suit—is likely 
to read a comic book on the commute 
home. Japanese readers just can't get 
enough of comic “mooks” (short for 
magazine-books). And in France, comi 
books are referred to as the “ninth art, 
part of thar country’s narional classifi- 
cation of art forms. French President 
Francois Mitterrand has even talked to 
the press about his favorite comics. 

It's also easy to see twisted touches of 
alternative comics in the mainstream. 
The Simpsons, Ren @ Stimpy and MIV's 
Liquid Television owe a debt to (and share 
some personnel with) their off-the-rack 
cousins. Evan Dorkin's violent duo, Milk 
and Cheese, have such cachet that the 
children on Roseanne wear Milk & Cheese 
T-shirts to show off their hip affinity for 
dairy products gone bad. 

The most compelling relationship is 
between comics and movies. There are 
obvious lifts for the general audience— 
The Crow, the wildly successful The Mask 
and Tank Girl—but even such movies as 
Total Recall or Speed carry a strain of al- 
ternative psycho energy. In turn, it 
doesn't take much heavy lifting to imag- 
ine such filmmakers as Quentin Taranti- 
no and David Lynch influencing New 
Wave noir writers who treat comic books 
as low-fi storyboards for mental movies 
that are too fantastic, violent or grim for 
Hollywood—or at least for the Holly- 
wood of today. 

Chief among the graphically inventive 
narratives is The Sandman, published by 
DC Comics’ Vertigo line of adult-orient- 
ed titles. The Sandman is Morpheus, 
lord of dreams. In the course of one se- 
ries, writer Neil Gaiman weaves together 
Norse, Greek and Japanese mythology, 


Egyptian religion and African rituals. 
The result: a liberal arts primer geared 
to a college audience. In one comic book 
panel Gaiman introduces playwrights 
Christopher Marlowe and William 
Shakespeare with a snippet of dialogue 
from a Marlowe play. No further iden- 
tification. Norman Mailer has said, 
“Sandman is a comic strip for intellectu- 
als, and I say it's about time.” 

The Mystery Play, by Grant Morrison 
and Jon Muth, treads similar lofty—and 
cloudy—turf. Set during a town’s re-cre- 
ation of a medieval mystery play, Muth's 
graphic novel looks as if it were drawn 
by a cinematographer. When the actor 
playing God is murdered, a detective 
and a reporter set out to find the killer. 
More unabashedly bleak, Frank Miller's 
Sin City series takes Raymond Chandler 
and—yikes!—goes one up on the ni- 
hilism. His characters are classic movie 
archetypes: the whore with a heart of 
gold, the good girlfriend turned bad, 
the stoic hit man. But in Miller's work 
the hero—or antihero—usually ends 
up dead. 

In today’s 500-channel, remote-con- 
trol entertainment universe, comic 
books serve as short attention span the- 
ater of the absurd. Call it low-tech CD- 
ROM—only rapid-fire images and sur- 
real or disjointed narratives need apply. 
Charles Burns’ stories, such as Blood Club 
and Curse of the Molemen, feature strange, 
stylized illustrations and eerie plots re- 
volving around a boy named Big Baby. 
When Big Baby runs into space aliens 
beneath his neighbors backyard, he 
greets their presence with a gee-whiz en- 
thusiasm straight from B movies of the 
Fifties. Both Daniel Clowes’ Like a Velvet 
Glove Cast in Iron and the Residents’ Freak 
Show (a print partner to the group's CD- 
ROM) are populated with a claustropho- 
bic array of eccentric and freakish char- 
acters—some of whom you might meet 
at Lollapalooza. Either book is perfect 
entertainment for the pierce-firstask- 
questions-later crowd. 

Ultimately, the success of these and 
other alternative comics will continue to 
affect the rest of the industry. In DC 
Comics’ graphic novel Arkham Asylum, il- 
lustrated by Dave McKean and written 
by Grant Morrison, Batman, the venera- 
ble hero from our youth, travels to the 
edge of his sanity when he confronts 
criminal psychotics running their own 
asylum. The lush artwork seems as if it’s 
refracted through a whacked-out prism. 
Even the Joker undergoes a revisionist 
slant. He is no longer the clown prince of 
crime in whiteface, but a leering, inco- 
herent nut job. The twisted thing is, he 
makes more sense to today's audience 
than his traditional forebear ever could. 
This is not your father's Joker. And these 
are definitely not your father's comics. 


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PLAYBOY 


MEL GIBSON (continued from page 68) 


I have tremendous respect for women. I love them. All 
good things emanate from them. The guys mess up. 


want your older brothers to get drafted? 
GIBSON: I don't know, but I heard him 
say at one time, “They're not getting any 
of my kids.” 

PLAYBOY: Were your parents especially 
strong disciplinarians? 

GIBSON: Yeah, they liked to run a pretty 
tight ship. They didn't let us get away 
with anything. But it wasn't like we had 
to shut up at mealtime. It was just kind 
of nutty. 

PLAYBOY: Didn't your father once get so 
angry at your older brother and sister 
that he knocked their heads together? 
GIBSON: Yeah. He told them they were 
not allowed to talk to each other for six 
months, and if he ever saw them even 
looking at each other he would beat the 
shit out of them. And they didn't com- 
municate at all for a real long time. 
When they finally did, they were the best 
of friends. It worked. 

PLAYBOY: Did you get into much trouble? 
GIBSON: 1 used to break the law a bit. I 
was a good criminal as a child. I never 
got caught. And I did kid stuff, like bor- 
Tow the family car. 

PLAYBOY: How did you do that without 
geuing caught, since you had so many 
people in your family? 

GIBSON: I did it at onc A.M. 

PLAYBOY: Didn't you also once staple your 
sister’s head? 

GIBSON: Yeah. She was sitting there and 
it was just one of those compulsions. It 
was a big stapler, too. She screamed her 
head off and I was in serious trouble. 1 
didn't stick around, but they hunted me 
down and I got a whacking. 

PLAYBOY: Was there a lot of fighting 
among you and your brothers? 

GIBSON: Oh, there was plenty of fighting. 
You don't grow up in a crowd like that 
and not punch one another out all the 
time. I've got five brothers, and three of 
them are within two years of me. We'd 
pound the shit out of one another, Espe- 
cially as teenagers. There were twin 
brothers a year younger than me. I used 
to wonder: I'm older, why are there two 
of them? Why are they bigger than me? 
They would stick together and I'd have 
to find ways to distract them. I remem- 
ber one of them actually picked me up 
and threw me out of his room. It was hu- 
miliating. I had to get even. So I 
knocked on his door, and when he an- 
swered it, lights out. 

PLAYBOY: You knocked him out? 

GIBSON: Yeah. That's when I was 15, 16. 
We'd just about kill one another. Very 
satisfying. 


136 PLAYBOY: Were things more peaceful at 


the all-boys Catholic school you attended 
in Australia? 

GIBSON: No. I got whacked around for 
smoking, fighting, not following their 
stupid rules. I had a rough time. I'm not 
much of a conformist. I was known for 
being a bit of a clown. I remember my 
dad got me aside and said, “Just remem- 
ber, everybody likes a clown, but nobody 
pays him.” I've often been tempted to 
call him and say, “Remember how you 
told те... 2" “Yeah?” “Yes, they do.” 
PLAYBOY: Wasn't it one of your sisters who 
decided your career for you when she 
applied to Sydney's National Institute of 
Dramatic Arts on your behalf? 

GIBSON: That was Mary. 1 was wandering 
around without a purpose, so she point- 
ed my nose in this direction. 1 thought, 
What the hell else am 1 going to do? 
There really wasn't much I wanted to 
do. And I had never done anything like 
acting before. The first time I had to go 
onstage I was physically ill and I couldn't 
stand up. My legs wouldn't support me. 
1 had to do и sitting down. И was blind 
terror. 

PLAYBOY: What made you go back a sec- 
ond time? 

GIBSON: I just wondered, What the hell 
could knock the shit out of you like that? 
The next night it didn't happen. I found 
it very liberating. 

PLAYBOY, How often do you all get to- 
gether as a family? 

GIBSON: The last time we got together 
was for my mother's funeral. It was 
great. 

PLAYBOY: That was about five years ago. 
What did she die of? 

GIBSON: Just her heart. She was in her 
late 60s. 

PLAYBOY: How did it affect everybody? 
GIBSON: They were all stunned. She was 
the mortar and the bricks. She held 
everything together, 

PLAYBOY: Are you an emotional family? 
GIBSON: Not overly. And not overly ex- 
pressive, either. 

PLAYBOY: Do you believe in an afterlife, 
and that you'll see her there? 

GIBSON: Absolutely. There's just no ex- 
planation. There has to be an afterlife 
Otherwise where is the evening-out pro- 
cess? There has to be an afierlife because 
Hider and I both walked the planet and 
I'm not going to the same place as Hiller. 
Or Pol Pot. 

PLAYBOY: Is there a hell? 

GIBSON: Absolutely. 

PLAYBOY: What's your image of the devil? 
GIBSON: The beast with eight tongues 
and four horns and fire and brimstone. 


Probably worse than anything we can 
imagine, as paradise is probably beuer 
than anything we can imagine. 

PLAYBOY: Do you believe in Darwin's the- 
ory of evolution or that God created 
man in his image? 

GIBSON: The latter. 

PLAYBOY: So you can't accept that we de- 
scended from monkeys and apes? 
GIBSON: No, I think it's bullshit. Ifit isn't, 
why are they still around? How come 
apes aren't people yet? It's a nice theory, 
but I can't swallow it. There's a big cred- 
ibility gap. The carbon dating thing that 
tells you how long something's been 
around, how accurate is that, really? I've 
got one of Darwin's books at home and 
some of that stuff is pretty damn funny. 
Some of his stuff is true, like that the gi- 
raffe has a long neck so it can reach the 
leaves. But I just don't think you can 
swallow the whole piece. 

PLAYBOY: We take it that you're not par- 
ticularly broad-minded when it comes to 
issues such as celibacy, abortion, birth 
contro|— 

GIBSON: People always focus on stuff like 
that. Those aren't issues. Those are 
unquestionable. You don't even argue 
those points. 

PLAYBOY: You don't? 

GIBSON: No. 

PLAYBOY: What about allowing women to 
bc priests? 

GIBSON: No. 

PLAYBOY. Why not? 

GIBSON: I'll get kicked around for saying 
it, but men and women are just differ- 
ent. They're not equal. The same way 
that you and I are not equal. 

PLAYBOY: That's true. You have more 
money. 

GIBSON: You might be more intelligent, 
or you might have a bigger dick. What- 
ever it is, nobody's equal. And men and 
women are not equal. I have tremen- 
dous respect for women. I love them. I 
don't know why they want to step down. 
Women in my family are the center of 
things. All good things emanate from 
them. The guys usually mess up. 
PLAYBOY: That’s quite a generalization 
GIBSON: Women are just different. "Their 
sensibilities are different. 

PLAYBOY: Any examples? 

GIBSON: I had a female business partner 
once. Didn't work. 

PLAYBOY: Why not? 

GIBSON: She was a cunt. 

PLAYBOY: And the feminists dare to put 
you down! 

GIBSON: Feminists don't like me, and I 
don't like them. I don't get their point. I 
don’t know why feminists have it out for 
me, but that's their problem, not mine. 
PLAYBOY: What did you so dislike about 
your former business partner? 

GIBSON: She was more vicious than any 
guy in business Гуе ever seen. She 
thought she needed to overcompensate 


for the fact that she was a woman. Which 
is just bullshit. It's like unbelievable fe- 
rocity and unreasonableness. Then, 
when you got to her reason, she'd pull 
the woman thing on you. She wasn't fair. 
They don't play fair. 

PLAYBOY: All women, or just this woman? 
GIBSON: It happens а lot. They're not 
coming from the same place at all. There 
are certain things men will never under- 
stand about them. We'll never get it. And 
you're supposed to be nice to them. Be- 
cause they can hurt you. It's like that 
joke about the guy who bedded three 
women: Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding 
and Hillary Clinton. He woke up with no 
penis, his kneecaps bashed in and no 
health insurance. 

PLAYBOY: Does your wife share any of 
your beliefs? 

GIBSON: No. 

PLAYBOY: Does she think that you're a 
Neanderthal? 

GIBSON: Yeah, but she likes it that way. 
PLAYBOY: Maybe she was just too young 
to know any better when she met you. 
GIBSON: I guess I was a good catch. 
PLAYBOY: Your wife has kept a low profile 
Where did you meet? 

GIBSON: I was in South Australia for my 
first assignment in a theater company. 1 
was one of the boarders in a house 
where she lived. 

PLAYBOY: Was it love at first sight? 
GIBSON: No, it wasn't until a year later. 
She had a boyfriend. 

PLAYBOY: So how did it happen? 

GIBSON: I don't know if І want to talk 
about it. I don't know if she'd feel good 
about that either. 

PLAYBOY: Any ideas on what makes а 
marriage work? 

GIBSON: Don't talk about your wife dur- 
ing interviews [laughs]. 

PLAYBOY: What do you think of when you 
think about love? 

GIBSON: Sacrifice. 

PLAYBOY: How do you feel about love 
scenes in your films? 

GIBSON: Depends. It's like being ushered 
into a room with a stranger and being 
told, “Here, take off your clothes and 
swap some spit.” It's uncomfortable. Es- 
pecially with cameras watching you. 
Think about it—would you do it? 
PLAYBOY: If it were Michelle Pfeiffer or 
Sigourney Weaver or Jodie Foster — 
GIBSON: It's still pretty weird. What can I 
tell you? 

PLAYBOY: Tell us about what it was like 
working with Michelle Pfeiffer, Sigour- 
ney Weaver and Jodie Foster. You played 
Scrabble with Pfeiffer in Tequila Sunrise. 
How good was she? 

GIBSON: Real good. 

PLAYBOY: She beat you? 

GIBSON: More often than not. 

PLAYBOY: And you played poker with Fos- 
ter in Maverick. 

GIBSON: Jodie’s a sweet person. I real- 
ly love her. And she's a real careful 


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PLAYBOY: What did you think of The Маг 
of Living Dangerously with Sigourney 
Weaver? 

GIBSON: It wasn't the greatest story, but it 
had that ability as a film to hold you and 
make you watch it. 

PLAYBOY: Wasn't there some trouble 
shooting that film in Manila, where peo- 
ple started throwing stones and making 
death threats? 

GIBSON: The film unit received death 
threats from some Islamic group or 
something because they knew we were 
doing a story about President Sukarno 
and Indonesia. 1 thought it was kind of 
exciting: death threats. Then, before we 
knew it, we got whisked out of the coun- 
try. It wasn’t worth it, it was just a film. 
We shot most of it in Sydney. 

PLAYBOY: Linda Hunt, who won an Oscar 
for her performance, said that you're 
not there before a scene, that you're de- 
liberately uninvolved and absent. She 
said it was a macho thing. 

GIBSON: Yeah? It’s not a macho thing аг 
all. It's just the way I work. I've always 
worked like that 

PLAYBOY: She also said that when you get 
in front of the camera your attention is 
forceful and total, that you control the 
camera the way the young Brando did, 
marshaling your energy. 

GIBSON: That's very generous of her, I 
never looked at it as that complicated. 
1 enjoy the work situation tremendously. 
I get on with the crew, I hang out on the 
set, I don’t hide in a trailer. 

PLAYBOY: While we're on comparisons, 
Mark Rydell, who directed The River, 
said that you have the roughness of a 
Steve McQueen or a Paul Newman and 
the sensitivity ofa Monty Clift. 

GIBSON: Thanks, Mark. Steve McQueen. 
Nobody handles props like Steve did. 
Man, that guy was good with a piece of 
equipment—the fire stuff, the cars, the 
guns. He knew exactly what his power 
was and he used it really well 

PLAYBOY: How do you feel when you're 
compared to such people? 

GIBSON: Comparisons like that are flat- 
tering. In reality, people are always try- 
ing to find a way to pigeonhole you. In 
fact, I'm nothing like any of them. ГИ 
never be able to do what they did, and 1 
hope I've got my own territory that no 
one else can poach. 

PLAYBOY: Were you frustrated playing 
Hamlet, which you said should have 
been done onstage and not filmed? 
GIBSON: Pd like то do Hamlet onstage be- 
cause I've never done it in sequence. Гуе 
done it only in pieces, with the first part 
lastand the last part first, the last third of 
the soliloquy filmed a month before the 
first two thirds. It wasn't a good experi- 
ence because it was so disjointed. Nor 
was I happy with the result, because 


188 there's no conclusion that you can really 


come to. There’s no answer to it. It’s 
more elusive than you think и The 
whole play is about asking questions, not 
about getting answers. Shakespeare 
wrote it during a crisis in his life and he 
was questioning everything. 

PLAYBOY: Do you see Hamlet as mad? 
GIBSON: Yes, I think so. 

PLAYBOY: And how did you feel about 
Franco Zeffirelli’s direction? 

GIBSON: Гуе never actually been honest 
about what I think of Zeffirelli, ever. 
PLAYBOY: Why not? 

GIBSON: Because it wouldn't do any 
good. I don't really want to dump on 
poor Franco. He's got his problems, the 
poor bastard. 

PLAYBOY: Are there any other Shake- 
speare plays you might like to do? 
GIBSON: Гуе always liked Othello. 
PLAYBOY: To play Othello ог lago? 
GIBSON: lago. It’s the best part. 

PLAYBOY: What about King Lear? 

GIBSON: Lear annoys me. He pisses me 
off. He's a real old fart. That's being 
judgmental about a character, which 
Stanislavsky tells us we're not supposed 
to do. But hey, King Lear sucks. 
PLAYBOY: You can be fairly critical. And 
you've been on the receiving end of 
some pointed criticism yourself. The re- 
views for Air America, for instance, were 
very harsh. 

GIBSON: That was given the distinction 
by one critic of being one of the ten 
worst films of the decade, which I think 
is bullshit. It's better than that. It isn't a 
perfect film. A lot of things aren't right 
with it, but it's OK. 

PLAYBOY: How do you feel about another 
critical bomb, Bird on a Wire, which you 
did with Goldie Hawn? 

GIBSON: Not one of my favorites. It's a 
mindless bit of stuff. There’s something 
very unfunny about it, like a puzzle that 
doesn’t fit together. 

PLAYBOY: You've acted with Goldie, and 
with her boyfriend, Kurt Russell, in 
Tequila Sunrise 

GIBSON: Which I liked. It had that 
Robert Towne structure that turned a 
molehill into a mountain. One of the 
most interesting evenings [ ever had was 
when I was working on Нате! in Lon- 
don and Kurt and Goldie rolled in while 
my mom and dad were there. They got 
to talking about religion. Kurt was 
yelling and chiming in loudly, Goldie 
was there, my mother was going, “Red, 
please calm down” to my father. I just sat. 
back and watched the fireworks Ну. 
PLAYBOY: Kurt is opinionated and loves a 
heated political discussion. Do you ever 
get involved with politics? 

GIBSON: I once was involved with politics 
in Australia. I stuck my proboscis into 
the arena, trying to get someone clected 
to a local seat. Because I was me, I got 
a lot of attention. It was amazing, It 
opened my eyes to something that was 
really scary. When you rip the top off the 


scab and look at the shit underneath, it's 
frightening. I was really fucking cynical 
when 1 walked away from that. 

PLAYBOY: Your man lost? 

GIBSON: Yeah, but not by much. It was so 
nasty, so vicious. There's nothing people 
won't do to fuck you over for their own 
ends. I'm talking right up to the prime 
minister at the time, Bob Hawke. What 
an asshole. He fucking made a personal 
attack on me. 

PLAYBOY: Why? 

GIBSON: Because I said something that 
was kind of true and it really bothered 
him, It scared him. He came down to the 
country town where 1 lived, went to the 
newspaper and dumped shit on me. 
‘This is the prime minister of the country. 
PLAYBOY: What did he say about you? 
GIBSON: “He is a fine fellow, but he 
should stick to acting. Let the people 
who know about government run the 
country.” Like, wait a minute, hang on, 
whoa! That's us, it’s our country, we've 
elected you to represent our interests. 
PLAYBOY: Did you respond? 

GIBSON: Fuck yes, ferociously. I was so 
mad I went to the same reporter he 
talked with and I dumped on him the 
next day. 1 acquitted myself very well 
and made him look pretty crummy. But 
as a result that reporter was moved to a 
cushy job in Canberra within a week. 
PLAYBOY: Is Australian politics any differ- 
ent from politics in other countries? 
GIBSON: | travel a lot, so I can look at 
similar events all around the world and 
say there’s something funny going on 
here. It's really fucking corrupt and hor- 
rible. And it drives me crazy. 

PLAYBOY: Do you think there's any place 
that's not corrupt? 

GIBSON: No, there isn’t. I guess we all 
know that. Its when you finally wake up 
to the horror and the nastiness of it. 
PLAYBOY: Hawke is no longer prime min- 
ister of Australia. 

GIBSON: No, Paul Keating 15 the current 
idiot over there. 

PLAYBOY: Maybe a good thing you 
never became an Australian citizen. 
GIBSON: There was no reason to get nat- 
uralized. I wouldn't live there again. 
PLAYBOY: Don't you have an 800-acre 
ranch there? 

GIBSON; 1 do. But they don’t know what 
to do with me down there. I'm some- 
thing of a curiosity, OK? It's, you know, 
the guy who wasn’t born there. But 1 
lived there, І was educated there, had 
my formative years there—puberty, high 
school, university, career choices, voca- 
tional stuff. That's where I come from. 
‘That's where I started to make good and 
then I came over here and made good 
here. 1 found it was more lucrative and 
there was a greater artistic pool over 
here. Then it’s like, “Oh, look at that fel- 
low. He thinks he's pretty good now.” So 
they start to tear you down a bit. It's OK, 
I can handle it, I'm a big boy. They have 


“This is really fascinating, Clive—do 
meteorologists screw, too?” 


139 


PLAYBOY 


cycles of building you back up and then 
tearing you down again. It's happening 
now and I don't know why. Somebody's 
got an ax to grind. So you go back there 
and every time you fart a crew comes 
down and starts looking through your 
windows. So why the fuck should I 
go back? 

PLAYBOY None of this happens in Los 
Angeles? 

GIBSON; The same thing happens here, 
but it's just by virtue of the number of 
people in this country that it’s easier. It’s 
just as corrupt. I'm terribly cynical about 
politics and politicians. I see the same 
trends here that I saw overseas. 
PLAYBOY: How do you feel about Bill 
Clinton? 

GIBSON: He's a low-level opportunist. 
Somebody's telling him what to do. 
PLAYBOY: Who? 

GIBSON: The guy who's in charge isn't 
going to be the front man, ever. I£ I were 
going to be calling the shots I wouldn't 
make an appearance. Would you? You'd 
end up losing your head. It happens all 
the time. All those monarchs. If he’s the 
leader, he’s getting shafted. What's keep- 
ing him in there? Why would you stay 
for that kind of abuse? Except that he 
has to stay for some reason. He was 
meant to be the president 30 years ago, 
if you ask me. 

PLAYBOY: He was just 18 then. 

GIBSON: Somebody knew then that he 
would be president now 

PLAYBOY: You really believe that? 
GIBSON: I really believe that. He was 
a Rhodes scholar, right? Just like Bob 
Hawke. Do you know what a Rhodes 
scholar is? Cecil Rhodes established the 
Rhodes scholarship for these young men 
and women who want to strive for a new 
world order. Have you heard that be- 
fore? George Bush? CIA? Really, it’s 
Marxism, but it just doesn’t want to call 
itself that. Karl had the right idea, but he 
was too forward about saying what it 
was. Get power but don't admit to it. Do 
it by stealth. There's a whole trend of 
Rhodes scholars who will be politicians 
around the world. 

PLAYBOY. This certainly sounds like a 
paranoid sense of world history. You 
must be quite an assassination buff. 
GIBSON: Oh, fuck. A lot of those guys 
pulled a boner. There's something to do 
with the Federal Reserve that Lincoln 
did, Kennedy did and Reagan tried. 1 
can’t remember what it was, my dad told 
me about it. Everyone who did this par- 
ticular thing that would have fixed the 
economy got undone. Anyway, ГЇ end 
up dead if I keep talking shit. 

PLAYBOY: No one can accuse you of keep- 
ing your big mouth shut. 

GIBSON: I used to get into trouble be- 
cause I had a really big trap. I'd say 
things to people and they'd take offense 
because I'm not the soul of tact. It still 


140 plagues me. 


PLAYBOY: You could have fooled us. Let's 
check some of your other attitudes. 
Where do you stand on the issue of cap- 
ital punishment? 

GIBSON: For certain crimes, yeah, you 
should knock them off. You've got to re- 
move certain people, like they're too aw- 
ful to be around. 

PLAYBOY: Gun control? 

GIBSON: That's a tough question. There 
are so many assholes out there with 
guns, and theyll always have guns, 
so you might as well have the right to 
bear arms. 

PLAYBOY: Do you own guns? 

GIBSON: I would rather not talk about 
that. I do. 

PLAYBOY: You have six children. How do 
you deal with the fact that most gun acci- 
dents happen in the home? 

GIBSON: By keeping it in someone else's 
house. 

PLAYBOY: What type of protection does 
that offer? 

GIBSON: Anybody comes knocking, I've 
got a hockey stick and a bat and, what's 
even better, a shinto stick, which I can 
beat the shit out of them with. It's real 
snappy, like a hurling stick. It's a wian- 
gular piece of wood from Scotland. 
PLAYBOY: You can use it on your critics, 
who have called you, among other 
things, homophobic, misogynistic 
GIBSON: Racist, bigoted, all sorts of 
things. 

PLAYROY- Are you any of those things? 
GIBSON: No, I'm nor. I’m really not. I 
think if you suggest that you find some 
modes of behavior unnatural, then you 
become all those things. And you get 
vilified. It’s like having people holding 
signs and trying to spit on you. 

PLAYBOY: Has that ever happened to you? 
GIBSON: Yeah. 

PLAYBOY: When? 

GIBSON: When 1 put my hands in cement 
a couple of years ago. 

PLAYBOY: Outside Mann's Chinese The- 
ater in Hollywood? 

GIBSON: Yeah, that’s when I found out I 
was a misogynist, a bigot, a racist, a neo- 
Nazi and a homophobe. They had signs, 
they were screaming and frothing at the 
mouth, pure hatred. It was wild. People 
just looking for attention. 

PLAYBOY: That was a gay protest, right? 
GIBSON: Yeah, totally whipped up from 
nowhere. I got up to the microphone to 
say something and it was, like, jeers. I 
decided to go up and look at the people 
to see who they were and why they were 
so angry. 

PLAYBOY: Do you know why they were an- 
gry with you? 

GIBSON: It was over something I said five 
years ago in a Spanish interview, which 
was taken the wrong way. I don’t want to 
go into it again because it’s like igniting a 
fucking spark. 1 just don't want it—I 
don't want anyone writing to me or com- 
ing to my house. 1 don't want any of that 


shit. Suffice it to say that I've been 
chased by automobiles doing dangerous 
things on the freeway. I'm not even com- 
fortable with you printing this because 
there are certain organizations that like 
to breathe down my neck. I don't give a 
fuck what they do so long as they keep it 
to themselves. 

PLAYBOY: But what did you say that so 
pissed them off? 

GIBSON: Whatever it was I said, they 
found it offensive. The next day I was 
doing an interview on national television 
and was asked, “So, are you going to 
apologize? You've offended the commu- 
nity.” I said, “I'm not apologizing to any- 
one. I'll apologize when hell freezes 
over. They can fuck off.” Then the war 
started. It's made me totally paranoid. 
I've got to learn to keep my mouth shut. 
PLAYBOY: Not yet, though. We still have 
a few more questions. What's the best 
script you've read? 

GIBSON: Schindler's List, which I read in 
one sitting. I fully expected not to like it. 
lt surprised me. Holocaust stories had 
been done to death. But I was totally 
sucked into it and really moved by it. 
PLAYBOY: Were you being considered for 
Schindler? 

GIBSON: I was one of those nameless peo- 
ple who did an audition that was sup- 
posed to be confidential. 

PLAYBOY: And you wanted the part? 
GIBSON: Yeah, sure. 

PLAYBOY. What did you think of Liam 
Neeson in the role? 

GIBSON: Oh, he was fine, great. He was 
that big teddy bear guy. Liam brought 
his own thing to that, which was wonder- 
ful. I would have made him a lot slicker. 
PLAYBOY: Are there other parts that 
you've wanted but didn’t get? 

GIBSON: I rarely talk about this kind of 
stuff. I only really tried to do one thing, 
and that was Mozart in Amadeus. | was 25 
years old and just barged in on director 
Milos Forman, It was one of those meet- 
ings. He was really uncomfortable, so I 
thought Id leave him the hell alone. 
PLAYBOY: Al Pacino also wanted a part in 
that movic—Salicri, whom Е Murray 
Abraham played. But Forman said he 
didn’t want big stars in it. 

GIBSON: I didn’t have that excuse. He 
didn't know who the hell I was. 

PLAYBOY: We haven't talked much about 
your directing. 

GIBSON: I really like doing that. 

PLAYBOY: Does being an actor help you as 
a director? 

GIBSON: Absolutely. No question. 
That's how I access the whole thing, 
right through that door. I think actors 
make good directors. 

PLAYBOY: The Man Without a Face was the 
first motion picture you directed. You 
would have preferred to get William 
Hurt or Jeff Bridges to act in it, but they 
both turned it down, didn't they? 
GIBSON: Yeah, either they didn’t like itor 


they were busy. I kept giving the script 
out to people and they kept saying no, so 
I thought, Fuck, ГИ do it. It was a scary 
but rewarding experience. 

PLAYBOY: What made you think you 
could direct it? 

GIBSON: I just thought I could tell the 
story as well as anyone. I could scc it in 
my mind. It was a good place to go, into 
uncharted waters. The week before I 
started shooting I saw Peter Weir and he 
said, "I hear you're going to direct a 
film." 1 said, "Yeah, I'm really scared." 


: Didn't you also ask Clint East- 
wood for advice? 

GIBSON: I talked with him. I had read 
Unforgiven before he shot it, so I just 
called him up. I was clutching at straws, 
I was just terrified 

PLAYBOY: What kind of advice did East- 
wood give you? 

GIBSON: He said, “Just relax. A lot of this 
stuff is subliminal shit. You probably 
picked it up and you don't even know 
it.” And he was right 

BOY: After the Mad Max films you 
said that you had no intention of becom- 
ing Mr. Action Adventure or the next 
Clint Eastwood. Looking at how East- 
wood’s career has gone, would you take 
that back? 

GIBSON: No. You can’t be Clint. Not the 
tall one. Nobody can match the tall one. 

PLAYBOY: Does that also mean there won't 
be a Lethal Weapon 42 

GIBSON: No. Not with that title. Maybe 
something like it. We've done itto death. 
Three times, for Pete’s sake. We're lucky. 
PLAYBOY: You seemed to get along well 
with Danny Glover 

GIBSON: Danny's cool. He's good to work 
with. Those films were very rewarding. 
It's just horsing around. But that's the 
spirit of Donner. He's like a big kid. He 
doesn't take life too seriously. But he's al- 
so got the wisdom of your dad. 

PLAYBOY: Are they your most popular 
films? 

GIBSON: Yeah. Tough-guy, macho stuff. 
They're almost cartoons. 

PLAYBOY: You got to know Gary Визеу 
during the first Lethal Weapon. Didn't he 
take you to a Lakota Sioux sweat lodge? 
GIBSON: Yeah, it was a Native American 
church in the hills above Malibu. 
Indians came from everywhere. It was 
the real deal. It was a friendly, loving 
experience. Basically, they shut the 
doors, heat up the fire and pray. There 
were men and women so we were all in 
bathing suits, shoulder to shoulder. It 
was completely dark and hard to 
breathe. I did athing recently called wat- 
su, ever hear of that? 

PLAYBOY: No. 

GIBSON: It’s this weird deal where they 
put you in water and hold you like a ba- 
by and float you around. It's very womb- 
like. Somebody is stretching your limbs. 
A woman was holding me. It was in Palm 


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this." 

PLAYBOY: Was your wife with you? 
GIBSON: Yeah, she tried it, too. I thought 
it was great. I've done a lot of that crap— 
mud baths, saunas, hot tubs. I even 
used to do that thing where you hang 
upside down and stretch your spine, but 
that fucked up my knees and ankles 
PLAYBOY: Your wife once claimed that the 
only sort of exercise you do is lifting 
babies. 

GIBSON: I never used to work out, but 
now I'll run six miles and then lift very 
light weights once a week. I feel better 
now than I did ten years ago. I live 
leaner. I can run farther and last longer. 
PLAYBOY: When you're relaxing, what 
music do you listen to? 

GIBSON: Anything, from Nine Inch 
Nails to Chopin's nocturnes to opera. I 
love opera. 

PLAYBOY: Whom do you prefer, Pavarotti 
or Domingo? 

GIBSON: | like Placido. Pavarotti's got the 
sweetest voice, but the real balls, I think, 
is Placido. But I like Jussi Björling better 
than both of them. 

PLAYBOY: How much of a gambler are 
you? 

GIBSON: Every now and then I might bet 
on a fight or horse around on the 
roulette wheel. A guy once showed me а 
surefire system. I wish I could remem- 
ber it. It works in circuits, and you al- 
ways win. I think I lived off my gambling 
winnings in London. 

PLAYBOY: With a surefire system, what's 
the most you have ever lost playing 
roulette? 

GIBSON: I dropped about $11,000 one 
time, which is too much. There’s some- 
thing kind of immoral about it. 

PLAYBOY: But generally, you feel lucky? 
GIBSON: Yeah. One time in Australia I 
was driving through a country town and 
it was a real good time in my life, coming 
after a real rough time. I said, “You 
know what? I should bet a horse.” There 
was an offtrack betting outlet at the side 
of the road. I decided to take whatever I 
had in my wallet and put it on the first 
race. I picked this fucking name because 
I liked it, New Beginning, and slapped 
$36—all 1 had—on him. It was a 50-1 
shot. It was televised and I watched this 
horse tip this other one by a nose. I 
wasn't surprised. I went back, turned in 
my ticket and got all this bread in cash. 
Stashed it in my pocket, got in the car 
and drove off. Those kinds of things 
happen to me. 

PLAYBOY: Life's been good to you. Do you 
suffer at all from guilt? 

GIBSON: People who don't deal with guilt 
have a problem, unless you never do 
anything to transgress what you know to 
be right or wrong. And there are very 
few people who don't step over the line, 
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144 


ROAD TEST «cape 106) 


They spent cocktail hour draining a wine bar, then 
went to their room and made bed-damaging love. 


by a homicidal river. He was new to love 
and fascinated by it. It was as intense as 
life-threatening sports but even more 
satisfying. 

He booked a room in Knightsbridge. 
Then he started to call the airline to see 
if he could get a seat on Donna's flight; 
his wasn't leaving for another two days 
Donna insisted he hang up. He asked 
why she didn't want to fly home togeth- 
er. She said that she did, but in the 
long run they'd benefit from reminding 
themselves it was possible to survive not 
spending 24 hours a day together, re- 
minding themselves they actually had 
some self-control. She said it in a wry, 
rueful, quietly wise tone, then began do- 
ing one of Pratt's favorite things. 

When they were spent, Donna wept 
and dung to him and kissed all of his 
face, memorizing it with her lips. 


They spent their last day wandering 
London, letting the streets decide where 
they would go. The only specific place 
Pratt and Donna wanted to be was with 


each other. For the first three hours the 
streets respected their wishes and took 
them no place in particular, but eventu- 
ally delivered them to the British Muse- 
um. Pratt and Donna passed an hour 
in the correspondence files, snooping 
through letters written in earlier dec- 
ades and centuries by lovers who had 
been separated—some by great events of 
state, some by the mundane business of 
everyday life. Pratt couldn't find any 
who had separated as an educational ex- 
ercise in self-control. 

Late that afternoon Pratt and Donna 
drifted into an antique shop and bought 
cach other engravings from an 1844 ac- 
tor’s instructional manual that illustrat 
ed the Thirty-Six Classical Facial Expres- 
sions. Pratt gave Donna one of a woman 
tossing a profile, narrowing her eyes and 
flaring her nostrils, titled “Number 17, 
Mysterious.” Donna gave Pratt one of a 
man with chin held high, a heroic gaze 
and one fist clenched to his breast, titled 
“Number 23, Undaunted.” 

They spent cocktail hour draining a 


fet 


‘And now, for the talent portion of the pageant, Miss Hall 
will fake an orgasm.” 


wine bar Donna was fond of, then went 
back to their room and made desperate, 
kinetic, bed-damaging love. 

They bribed their way into a riverside 
table at a brilliantly fashionable Mediter- 
ranean restaurant on Cheyne Walk. Ihe 
food was extraordinary. Pratt didn't no- 
tice. Donna, radiating affection, told 
charming, self-deprecatory stories of her 
youth, the kind of revelations that she 
had never offered before. Pratt's brain 
recorded them for playback at a lat- 
er date. 

They lingered over cognacs. At one 
point Donna seemed to gather herself as 
if getting ready to say something impor- 
tant. All chat came out was a sigh and a 
slightly wrinkled grin. 

They walked in silence, arm in arm, 
back toward the hotel. Slowly, making 
it last. 

‘They were approached by an Asian 
woman carrying а sleeping infant. She 
asked if they wanted to buy jewelry. Don- 
na said no thanks and gave her some 
money. Pratt said yes and bought a 
ring. The woman blessed them and 
moved on. 

Pratt took Donna’s hand, held up the 
ring and asked her to marry him. 

Tears glistening in her eycs, she told 
him she already was. Married. 

Pratt glanced at her ringless left hand, 
which he was still holding. Donna cx- 
plained that she and her husband didn’t 
wear rings. 

She answered the next question be- 
fore Pratt could ask. Yes, it was a good 
marriage. One child, a daughter, 13. Yes, 
she'd be staying with her husband. Their 
опе problem was that they traveled mis- 
erably together, got irritable and had 
nasty arguments. In order to keep the 
marriage together they always took sep- 
arate vacations. 

Pratt nodded to show he understood. 

Donna wasn't cert he did. Her trav- 
els weren't about sex. She'd been un- 
faithful only once before, a one-night 
stand. Nothing like Pratt. Pratt was the 
romance of her life, the traveling com- 
panion she never dreamed that she 
would find. 

Pratt whispered, "Yeah." 

He concentrated hard and was finally 
able to let go of her hand. 

Donna said she was sorry she'd been 
too gutless and selfish to tell him, up 
front, right away. She said she wouldn't 
blame him if he hated her 

Pratt looked away for а moment, then 
slowly looked back at her Said nothing. 

Donna met his gaze. She said if he 
wanted, she would meet him once a year, 
for two weeks, anywhere in the world. 
But only if she never, ever saw or heard 
from him at home. 


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146 


VOLLEYBALL contin from page 124) 


“When things are completely flat out there, it’s like 
bad sex—the harder you try the worse it gets.” 


“Call your boss, Tony,” says Masakay- 
an. “Tell him we have a small problem 
with the bill and that you'll be a while.” 


. 
Despite Kirby and Masakayan's tour- 


nament dominance, the crowd is rooting 
fora close match in the Manhattan final. 


Fontana and Kotas-Forsythe are the 
tour’s second-ranked pair, so there's at 
least some hope that they can pump a lit- 
Че last-minute competition into a season 
that has been embarrassingly short on 
challenge for the number one team. 
The gap between Kirby-Masakayan 
and the rest of the hundred players on 
the tour is a vacuum created by a bitter 


split within the WPVA two years ago, 
when four of its best six players left to 
form a women’s bracket that would play 
alongside, but not with, the men on the 
bigger, richer AVP circuit. The defec- 
tions came at a bad time for the women's 
league, and if Kirby and Masakayan had 
joined the mutiny, it might have sunk 
the WPVA altogether. 

“It was devastating,” says Kirby. “The 
AVP offered a kind of financial security 
that the WPVA couldn't, and some play- 
ers chose not to stand with the organi 
tion that had given them the opportuni- 
ty to become professionals. We were in 
the same boat financially so we sort of 
understood, but it was disappointing.” 

“It was hard because they were our 
friends,” adds Masakayan. “It wasn't so 
much the act of their going as the way 
they did it, the things that were said by 
people who had been my friends for six, 
seven years. When money is laid on the 
table, shit comes out of people's mouths 
that should not.” 

"Volleyball is what we do best,” says 
Kirby. “What we are learning is how 
much harder it is to control the business. 
and the politics that go along with it.” 


Five minutes into the game, Kirby and 
Masakayan are beginning to do what 
they do best. Despite several long points, 
several wicked serves by Fontana and a 
couple of sand-caüng digs by Kotas- 
Forsythe, the power on the other side of 
the net begins to put unanswered points 
оп the board. 

“Karolyn and Liz are so together. 
They just play at another level,” says 
Melanie Sullivan, a 510” rookie from 
Branford, Connecticut. “My partner and 
I faced them once this year and got our 
first bagel.” (See page 148 for a complete 
guide to beach volleyball's indigenous 
language.) Then, as if it were part of 
some live-ammunition boot-camp exer- 
cise, Sullivan shakes her head and says, 
“Гуе heard a Liz jump-serve whiz by 
my ear." 

Оп the court against Fontana and Ko- 
tas-Forsythe, the Lizard and her partner 
are each doing everything: Masakayan is 
serving the guns of Navarone, digging 
Kill shots out of the far corners, dumping. 
pokeys into whatever small patch of sand 
is open. Kirby is Kong at the net for the 
blocks and is driving bloody spikes down 
the line, down her blockers’ throats and 
deep into the crowd on the rebounds. A 
half hour into the match they lead 9-3, 
which is making the television producer 
very happy. Volleyball is traditionally 
played without a time clock, to 15 points, 
but the win must be by at least a two- 
point margin. The live CBS coverage is 
scheduled for one hour, which means a 
close game might not finish in time. As it 
turns out, the worry is wasted: Forty 
minutes into the game, Masakayan takes 


three steps, goes into the air, ponytail 
flying, and sends a screaming serve 
down the line to end it 154. 

After the awards ceremony ($9400 to 
team Kirby-Masakayan, along with their 
choice of a Chevy truck or Camaro) most 
of the players drift into a beachside bar 
called the Sunset for a season’s-end par- 
ty. It is a casual do, a chance for the 
women to say goodbye for the winter, to 
sign one another's programs with the 
nicknames they’ve made up: Lisa Gath- 
right and Ann Schirman, both 6', are 
called Tall and Taller or the Trees; Lucy 
Han, at 5'2" the shortest player on the 
tour, is Sand Flea; Marla O'Hara, an in- 
your-face brown belt big-grunt server, is 
Cave Woman; and Chris Schaefer, a 
beautiful and spirited 6’ second-year 
player, is called Schaef Dog. 

Schaefer and her partner, Kengy Gar- 
diner, an actress, are among the tour's 
comics. “We have to make jokes,” says 
Gardiner. “Otherwise, with the work and 
the competition, things get too scrious.” 

In fact, Gardiner and Schaefer are 
credited with one of the game's best 
pieces of slang. “We use it when things 
are completely flat out there,” says Gar- 
diner, “when it's like bad sex—the hard- 
er you try, the worse it gets. Our coach 
told us that in moments like that, when 
we can't get any real enthusiasm going, 
we should just fake it. So we just look at 
each other and say "diner, you know, 
from the scene in When Harry Met Sally 
where Meg Ryan shows Billy Crystal 
how a woman can fool a man.” 

The party atthe Sunset also provides a 
chance for fans to buy the 1995 WPVA 
calendar and have it autographed by the 
featured women. But most of the color 
photos don't do the players justice. They 
are posed shots—hair done, makeup 
perfect, smiles pinned in place—that 
miss the natural beauty of these women 
in action: luminous with sweat, hair 
flying, arms and legs ablur in perfect 
athletic abandon as they go about “get- 
ting the uniform dirty,” which is their 
description of coming up from a point 
with their bodies covered with sand. 

‘The beauty of these women does, of 
course, play a big part in the selling of 
the sport, though most of the women I 
talk with tell me that the male fans react 
to them as athletes rather than as pin- 
ups. “Very few guys come up to you to 
talk, much less to harass you,” 
diner, who is in the calend: 
some of them come out thinking, Let's 
go watch the bimbos bat the ball around. 
After the games, though, most of them 
seem a bit intimidated.” Fourth-year 
player Krista Blomquist agrees. “I get hit 
on in other situations more than I do on 
the beach,” she says. 

At least one of the players, however, 
has suffered the kind of haunting ep- 
isode that can put fear into the game for 
women athletes. In 1993, at a tourna- 
ment in Santa Cruz, California, Elaine 


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147 


You may not be able to spike it like 
the big girls do, but you can speak 
their language. 

Abusing the equipment: When a player 
pulls on the net. 

Bagel: A game in which your team 
scores zero. 


Chicken wing: A reflexive defensive 
shot off the arm. 

Club Med: Indicates that hitting your 
opponents wimpy little shot back 
over the net made you feel like you 
were on vacation. 

Cobra: A dink shot hit with fingertips. 
Diner: Said to one's apathetic partner 
during a game, meaning to fake it un- 
til it comes. From the diner scene in 
When Harry Met Sally. 

Facial: A hit in the face. 

Facial disgracial: A hit in the face that 
knocks a player out of the game. 
Flipper: Backhanded hit. 

French fry: A game in which your 
team scores only one point. 

Hit it with your purse: Said after an in- 
effectual swat at the ball. 

Husband and wife: A ball that drops 
between teammates and leaves them 
saying, “That was yours, wasn't it?” 


Bench Вьяпкет Linse 


Incoming; also, guns of Navarone: A 
brutally hard serve. 

Jumbo shrimp: A shot that hooks over 
an opponent's head. 

Jungle ball: Volleyball as played at pic- 
nics; eight or more players to a side. 
Kong; also, a Jed (as in Clampett): A 
monstrous block. 

Pokey: A dink shot hit with knuckles. 
Put а stamp on it: When а serve is so 
long it will have to be mailed back. 
Roof: Blocking the ball straight down. 
Scud: A ball that rises. 

Six-pack: A hit in the face that draws 
blood. (From a Fifties tradition in 
which the player who delivered the 
bloody hit earned a six-pack of beer.) 
Spader: An ace. 

Team Advil: Partners who aren't get- 
ting along. 

Tomahawk: A two-handed spike. 

Tool: To score off an opponent's block. 
State: i.e., unconscious state, in 
which a team can do nothing wrong. 
Uno, dos, adios; one, two, barbecue; also, 
the sooner you lose, the sooner you bocze: 
Losing your first two matches in dou- 
ble-elimination format. 


* On the beach, two players must 
cover exactly the same area that six 
players cover indoors. 


e It's four times harder to move on 
sand than on the hardcourt, and leg 
fatigue is doubled. 


* You lose about one fifth of your 
vertical jump on the beach. “I jump 
30 inches indoors,” says Angela Rock, 
“24 inches on sand.” 


* The outdoor ball is softer, has 
bigger panels and is harder on shoul- 
ders in the spike. "You just can't hit 
the snot out of it,” says Rock, “like 
you can the indoor ball.” 


dest Line Haroceuar E «cept... 


* Inside, the sun doesn’t shine in 
your eyes and the wind doesn't knock 
a scud five feet off line. But nobody 
ever got a tan playing hardcourt. 


* In the sand version of the game, 
you can serve from anywhere along 
the back line, meaning that you can 
serve to either opponent straight 
ahead or at an angle. 


* There are no specialized players 
(setter, spiker, etc.) in the beach game 
as there are indoors, so your weak- 
nesses are multiplied. 


* Best ofall, on the beach, most of 
the uniform is not only skintight, 
it’s skin. 


Roque—one of the top women on the 
tour—was approached by a 64^, 280- 
pound man who handed her a letter full 
of weird fantasies about the two of them. 
Roque turned over the letter to the FBI 
and got a restraining order against the 
man. Even so, she says, “I still double- 
check my car mirror. I'm always scared.” 


Around ten o'clock on the Tuesday 
morning afier the WPVA final, the 
dozen ог so volleyball nets at Manhat- 
tan's Marine Street Beach are busy with 
players, from giggle to grunt. Four 12- 
year-old girls hold one court, serving 
underhand, squealing after wild bloop- 
ers, working on their kill shots, which 
sometimes go under the net. Next to 
them isa serious game among ten 40- to 
50-year-old women who gather twice a 
week to exercise at their high school 
sport. They play well, despite the fact 
that age has blurred the edge between 
the dive and the fall as they chase the 
jumbo-shrimp shots that arc just over 
their heads onto the back line. 

The rest of the courts are full of pros 
and wanna-bes, mostly men, in the mid- 
dle of long, brutal workouts for the AVP 
final, which is scheduled the following 
weekend, at Hermosa Beach, one pier 
south of Manhattan. Practice balls litter 
the sand beyond the back lines of each 
court as the relentless drills—dig, set 
and spikc—follow onc another without a 
break. This is the hard work all of the 
women talk about, the labor that keeps 
this life from being as glamorous as it 
looks: six, nine, sometimes 12 hours a 
week to pump their legs into shape, to 
keep the game's skills at an instinctive 
place in their muscles. All this in addi- 
tion to their full-time jobs. 

The most ruthless morning workout is 
on the court nearest the water. Holly Mc- 
Peak, one of the premiere WPVA players 
who left for the AVP, and Lisa Arce, 1994 
rookie of the year in the WPVA, are be- 
ing worked by Anna Collier, their coach. 
Collier is standing on an overturned 
trash barrel spiking ball after ball over 
the net to start a point. She encourages 
the women by yelling, “Go, go, go - 
nice hands . . . stretch for it." As the scs- 
sion grinds on toward two hours, both 
McPeak and Arce stay down longer 
when they hit the sand. At the breaks 
they bend forward, hands on their 
knees, in what I imagine to be both a 
resting and praying posture: “Lord, give 
me breath.” 

As we talk after the workout, Collier, 
who coaches women from both tours, 
says she thinks the split between the AVP 
and the WPVA will eventually heal, per- 
haps soon. 

"Irll happen because women's volley- 
ball needs it to happen if it's going to 
reach its full potential as a pro sport,” 
she says. “And the bitterness is less than 


before you 
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it was. Just after the split, somebody 
wrote ‘AVP sucks’ on my car. But 1 think 
we're past that now.” 

“The bitterness is coming from those 
who have benefited the most from the 
split. They're making more money than 
ever before,” says McPeak in a flash of 
anger. She catches herself before she 
spills details. McPeak is talking about 
Kirby and Masakayan, of course, whose 
sweep of the 1994 WPVA tour earned 
them considerably more (about $80,000 
each) than any of the women who joined 
the АУР “We left hoping that others 
would follow and that the AVP could 
help us make women's volleyball а more 
professional sport,” says McPeak. “It’s 
been frustrating.” 

“Anyway,” says Collier, “you heard one 
side of the story last weekend. You'll get 
the other side in Hermosa.” 


“I love playing alongside the men,” 
says Angela Rock, а 58" former 
Olympian and founding member of the 
WPVA. We are standing backstage of 
center court on the second day of the 
APV Hermosa tournament, and it is an- 
other perfect August day: Grandstand 
banners are slow-dancing on a breeze 
heavy with the smell of suntan oil, and 
beach umbrellas cast small spots of shade 
onto the sand, which is otherwise too hot 
for bare feet. The men’s semifinal is un- 
der way, and Rock is speaking over the 
roar of a crowd ten times the size of that 
at the WPVA final. 

“Look at this. It's a beautiful opera- 
tion. Great crowds, and we're surround- 
ed by professional people who work 
hard to make us happy,” she says, ges- 
turing toward the players’ tent, where 
20 tables are being attended by chiro- 
practors and massage therapists. 

“It hurt me personally,” she says of the 
split. “I was Karolyn's partner and good 
friends with many of the other women. 
Beach volleyball is going to be included 
in the 1996 Olympics, and in a way, 
that's a deadline for getting back togeth- 
er. AVP women are not sanctioned to 
play on the international tour, which 
means they won't be cligible for Olympic 
play unless something changes.” (In 
March 1995 the AVP released the 
women under contract to its tour to play 
in the WPVA, thereby making them eli- 
gible for Olympic competition.) 

Rock is waiting to begin the final 
match of the AVP women's season, а 
game that will decide the 1994 champi- 
ons. There are only eight teams, 16 
women, on the AVP women's side, and 
all four of the finalists are former WPVA 
stars. Rock's partner is Nancy Reno, a 
four-year Stanford all-American and the 
number one ranking AVP women's play- 
er. Their opponents are Holly McPeak 
and Cammy Ciarelli, one of the most ag- 
gressive players on the tour, 


As the game begins, the half-full 
grandstand tells the story of the two- 
year-old AVP women’s tour. The men’s 
final will draw an overflow crowd, and 
the winners of that match will split a 
$100,000 purse and a matching bonus 
pool. The winners among the women 
will share a purse of less than $15,000 
(the same as the 17th-place men's team) 
and a bonus pool of about $8000 each. 

Though the shortfall of the women's 
game may be obvious in audience size 
and prize money, there is no evidence of 
it on the court after the first serve goes 
up. The score is never separated by 
more than two points. Just as itlooks like 
Rock’s cannonball jump-serve is about to 
prevail, McPeak uses her catlike speed to 
execute a diving dig, then gets off the 
sand and into position for the set from 
Ciarelli to spike an angled winner that 
Reno cannot reach. 

On the breaks they sit in the players’ 
boxes, listen to their coaches jabber strat- 
egy at them, and check the clock—a 
nine-minute timer, unique to the AVP 
and designed to make the sport a better 
television package. Only the action is 
timed, and when the clock runs out, the 
point leaders win. The womer's final is 
being taped by МВС, though only bits of 
it will be shown during the live coverage 
of the men’s final, which will feature the 
brightest stars in the game, Karch Kiraly 
and Kent Steffes. 

With 1:20 to go. the score is 12-12. 
McPeak serves to Reno, who passes to 
Rock and then spikes the set into Ciarel- 
li's block, which is dug—unbelievably— 
by a diving Rock. Rock then takes the set 
from Reno, who spikes it into McPeak's 
stomach and knocks her on her butt. 
The crowd, which has grown as the 
men's qualifying matches finish on the 
outer courts, comes to its feet roaring. 
With 30 seconds on the clock, McPeak 
breaks the tie with a short serve that 
catches Rock and Reno waiting for the 
missile she usually launches. And though 
Rock gets another sideout with a perfect 
jumbo shrimp over Ciarelli's jumping 
reach, it isn't enough. As the clock goes 
to zero it’s 14-12, McPeak—Ciarelli. 

After the match, 1 sit with Paul Sun- 
derland. a former Olympian who grew 
up in Malibu playing the beach game 
and who is now the broadcast commen- 
tator for NBC volleyball coverage. 
“When you come down to it,” he says, 
“the women's game isn't that different 
from the men’s. They all play with pow- 
er, finesse, strategy, psychology. And the 
womens success will come closer to the 
men’s in time. That was great volleyball 
we watched out there, which is the key. 
These are beautiful, athletic women, but 
if it weren't for the competition, they 
could play naked and no one would 
show up.” He pauses. We look at each 
other. “Well, almost no one,” he says. 


MENENDEZ 


(continued from page 76) 

A few days later she phoned A Current 
Affair. She told them about Lyle's com- 
ment and offered to tape some of her 
phone conversations with him for the 
show. Then Shelton called Court TV re- 
porter Terry Moran, who had covered 
the trial, and said she was sympathetic to 
Lyle but felt she should do something. 
She confessed one other thing to Moran: 
She had served time for check fraud. 

“You have a record and now you're 
clean,” Moran told her. “My advice 
would be to stay out of this.” Shelton 
didn’t take that advice. The next day she 
phoned Vanity Fairs Dominick Dunne. 
Dunne was more than happy to feature 
Shelton's account of Lyle’s “snowed half 
the country” remark in his next Menen- 
dez article. However, he made no men- 
tion of her criminal past. Shelton was de- 
scribed as “a working single mother, with 
а two-year-old son, who had been in 
constant telephone contact with Lyle 
Menendez throughout the trial.” Lyle 
told his attorneys he had only two con- 
versations with Shelton and insisted he 
never uttered the “snowed” line. 

Meanwhile, A Current Affair reportedly 
provided Shelton with recording equip- 
ment and paid her $1000 for taping her 
conversations with Lyle. Shelton denies 
she received money from the show. The 
calls were taped, she says, because other- 
wise no one would believe somebody 
with a criminal record. On March 16, 
1994 the show introduced a story about 
“a call that could possibly turn Lyle 
Menendez into a convicted murderer.” 
In an interview with reporter John 
Johnston, Shelton's story changed slight- 
ly from the one she told Vanity Fair. Now, 
Lyle said, “We have half the jury 
snowed.” In other revelations, Shelton 
claimed Lyle called Erik “a pussy who 
just shot up the bookcase.” And there 
was more. 

“If my phone calls from jail had been 
monitored, the jury never would have 
come back hung,” she claimed Lyle told 
her. “If I go to prison for the rest of my 
life, my brother is going with me.” John- 
ston reported that Shelton's tapes were 
now “at the center of the prosccution 
case.” In а parting shot, Shelton turned 
to the camera and addressed her former 
confidant: “I hope you get what you de- 
serve.” (Because of legal concerns, the 
TV show didn’t broadcast any of the 
tapes.) 

But in another interview a month lat- 
er, Shelton told reporter Harvey Levin 
the “snowed” line had been said only in 
jest while Lyle was “joking around" the 
night of the mistrial. Shelton said she 
“felt guilty” about taping many of her 
phone calls but since she had “a police 
record as long as a DC-9 airplane,” she 
fretted, “who's going to believe me?” At 
the request of California officials, Shel- 


ton was pressured in Virginia to turn 
over her audiotapes to the Beverly Hills 
police. The tapes were never played 
publicly—there was nothing of impor- 
tance on them. 

Shelton also had recorded several calls 
with Abramson while trying to raise 
money for the defense fund. “Miss Shel- 
ton was not a developed witness,” de- 
dared Abramson at a pretrial hearing. 
“She is reaching out for her 15 minutes 
of fame.” 

LYLE MAKES ANOTHER FRIEND 

During the pretrial hearings, the 
courtroom presence of Menendez family 
members and friends dwindled to one 
faithful advocate: Norma Belly Novelli. 
The native of England and mother of 
four grown children had lived in south- 
ern California for 15 years. She pub- 
lished Mind’s Eye, a small monthly news- 
paper circulated in local jails and state 
prisons. In June 1990 Lyle wrote the 
newspaper to comment on an article 
critical of Pope John Paul И 

“From your various artides and your 
paper's structural tone, I believe we 
would get along quite well,” he added in 
a personal postscript. Norma and Lyle 
became friends through a series of let- 
ters and phone calls. She cheerfully 
served as а telephone operator for him, 
setting up conference calls with his 
friends. In those early conversations, 
Lyle frequently boasted he would soon 
be out of jail. His plans included moving: 
to Florida and buying a Ferrari. He 
asked Novelli to save all the media cov- 
erage—someday he wanted to show 
everything to his grandchildren. To 
Novelli, Lyle frequently seemed more 
preoccupied with his media image than 
with the case against him. 

At one of the pretrial hearings in early 
1993, Novelli displayed a valentine card 
with a shiny, mirror-like front she was 
sending her favorite prisoner. “It’s good 
for shaving,” she said. “They aren't al- 
lowed to have mirrors in jail.” When a 
friend noticed that Lyle appeared to be 
developing dark circles around his eyes, 
Lyle asked Novelli to bring him makeup. 
She advised him that it wasn't such a 
good idea. Lyle also complained about 
the preppie way the defense team made 
him dress. It just wasn't him. Hi: 
clothes—including the expensive Italian 
loafers his attorneys didn't want him 
wearing in the courtroom—were in 
storage. Novelli says that he requested 
a copy of GQ so he could offer his attor- 
neys a fashion lesson. 

One day, less than a month before ju- 
ry selection, Novelli was seething with 
anger outside the courthouse. One of 
the defense attorneys had asked her to 
stop attending pretrial hearings. “People 
will think you have something to do with 
Lyle,” was the explanation. “I have 
something to do with Lyle. I'm not going 
to disappear!” she exclaimed. "I want it 


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to look like they have some supporters. 
I'm in control of my tongue.” 

Novelli frequently wore short skirts 
and white go-go boots to court. Some- 
times, she dressed in provocative outfits 
while visiting Lyle in jail. Menendez fam- 
ily members believe Novelli developed 
a "romantic fixation” for Lyle. "It's 
disgusting,” said one family member 
during the trial. “What is this 54-year- 
old woman doing chasing after a 25-year- 
old man?" 

“I have two things in life: publishing 
Mind's Eye and taking care of Lyle,” No- 
velli said just before the trial. “Не calls 
me several times a day and I visit him in 
jail three times a week. I'm the only per- 
son who visits him. When you're in jail, 
you find out who your friends are.” 

Lyle recently discovered the true 
meaning of Norma Novelli's friendship. 
She has written a book based on tran- 
scripts from the four ycars she surrcpti- 
tiously recorded his three-way phone 
calls. The publisher, Dove Books, is the 
same company that released Faye Res- 
nick’s tabloid tell-all about Nicole Simp- 
son. Dove co-founder Michael Viner told 
Newsweek that Novelli’s tapes “will put 
Lyle away for good.” And this past Feb- 
ruary, Novelli voluntarily turned over to 
the Los Angeles County district attorney 
15 hours of taped phone calls that Lyle 
had made. 

Defense attorneys say the tapes con- 
tain no “smoking guns” nor anything 
about fabricating a defense. “People will 
be disappointed,” Novelli told one mem- 
ber of the defense team. She also said 
she was annoyed with Dove for embel- 
lishing the significance of her record- 


ings. Novelli has been listed as a prose- 
cution witness, but it’s unlikely that the 
illegally recorded tapes will be admitted 
as evidence at the trial. 


OJ. PAYS A VISIT 


At 10:20 p.m. on June 17, 1994 O.J. 
Simpson arrived at the Los Angeles 
County Men's Central Jail. He was tak- 
en toa small, isolated pod of seven cells. 
Instead of a 5700-square-foot mansion 
in Brentwood, his new home was a 
63-square-foot cell, painted institutional 
green, with a metal toilet, sink and bed 
with a thin mattress and no pillow. The 
metal door has a square window and a 
small flap, about eight inches high, 
through which food trays can be passed. 

"Ihe 7000 High Power Unit, on the 
jail's second floor, is sometimes called 
“celebrity row” because prominent pris- 
oners such as Christian Brando, Sean 
Penn and Charles Keating have been 
housed there. It is separated from the 
general jail population for safety rea- 
sons. Within a few hours after being 
incarcerated, O.J. Simpson, prisoner 
#4013970, met his new neighbor, pris- 
опег #1878449, а.К.а. Erik Menendez. 

Erik knew something was up earlier 
that day. On Friday afternoon, sheriff's 
deputies ordered him (along with two 
other inmates on the hallway) to scrub 
the floors and walls of the entire seven- 
cell pod. Erik had been preoccupied for 
weeks writing a science fiction novel, and 
he didnt like the interruption. 

As he scoured the floor, Erik watched 
TV coverage of the Simpson saga, in- 
cluding the dramatic reading of О.].5 
goodbye letter and the slow-speed chase. 


нер! 
15 BLOW JoB 
oNE. WORD 
oR Two? 


“I almost cried when his suicide letter 
was read on TV,” said Erik. “It was very 
sad—tears came to my eyes. It reminded 
me of Lyle and me.” Just before 10:30 
P.M., the entire jail was locked down. А 
group of deputies led by two sergeants 
escorted the former football hero to the 
cell next to Erik’s. 

The first night was rough. “I didn't see 
OJ. crying, but 1 believe he was,” Erik 
told me from jail a few days later. “I 
could hear him moaning. I felt very bad 
for him.” A few hours after Simpson's ar- 
rival, Erik overheard him talking about 
his case with one of the deputies. A 
deputy and a sergeant were stationed on 
“suicide watch,” sitting on chairs directly 
outside his cell. A few minutes later, 
Simpson called out to his neighbor. 

“Hey, Erik, it's O.J.!” 

“OK, O.J., let me explain a few things 
about jail to you," Erik replied. 

“I told him not to talk to the deputies 
or inmates about the case. I told him not. 
to worry, that everything would be all 
right. Just relax. Nothing drastic is go- 
ing to happen to you any time soon.’ Af- 
ter that long chase, you can imagine 
what shape he was in." 

By Saturday morning, the impact of 
the week's events were consuming the 
despondent Simpson. “He wasn’t happy 
to be in jail,” said Erik. “He wasn't any 
worse than I was or Lyle was. He was 
delusional, thinking that he was going to 
get outin three weeks or three months.” 
Erik sull occasionally heard moaning 
from the adjacent cell. Between visits 
from attorney Robert Shapiro and psy- 
chiatrist Saul Facrstein, Simpson spent 
hours making calls on a portable phone. 

Erik told OJ. that he and Lyle had 
met the football star when their father 
was an executive at Hertz in the late Sev- 
enties, but O.J. didn't remember the en- 
counter with the young boys. 

Later that day the two neighbors 
spoke again. Simpson told Erik he was 
worried about the loss of his prestige. “I 
guess I won't be working for NBC any- 
more,” he said. “He was worried about 
his reputation and that he was being 
slandered,” said Erik. “I just told him 
that he was going to have to deal with 
the media.” Throughout the day, Simp- 
son and Menendez peered through the 
open door flaps, watching the news cov- 
erage on a TV set across the hall from 
their cells, 

By Sunday morning, the two men saw 
their cases linked together by the man 
prosecuting them. District Attorney Gil 
Сагсеш was appearing on This Week With 
David Brinkley to offer his opinion about 
the Simpson defense strategy. 

“Well, it's not going to shock me if we 
see an О.]. Simpson sometime down the 
road say, ‘OK, I did it, but I'm not re- 
sponsible.’ We've seen it in Menendez. It's 
going to be a likely defense here, 1 be- 
lieve, once the evidence is reviewed by 
the lawyers.” 


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Erik was indignant that Garcetti com- 
pared the two cases. "Не kept bringing it 
up, as if my name is synonymous with 
some sort of thinking—here's another ‘I 
did it but don't blame me kind of thing.” 
It was really aggravating.” 

A few days later Erik and ОЈ. had а 
conversation about legal representation. 
Erik was unhappy about his own surren- 
der, which Shapiro had arranged in 
March 1990. Erik was playing tourna- 
ment tennis in Israel when he received 
the news of Lyle’s arrest. He immediate- 
ly flew to London, where he debated his 
next move with relatives and legal advi- 
sors back in the U.S. It was decided that 
Erik would voluntarily surrender in Los 
Angeles. He later discovered that had he 
surrendered in London, where there is 
no capital punishment, the death penal- 
ty would have been ruled out as a condi- 
tion of his extradition. He blamed 
Shapiro for making the wrong call. 

“Don’t ever believe Bob Shapir 
ing to get you a deal, because he isn't,” 
Erik said he told O.J. “Nobody knows 
who's the best lawyer. Everyone can talk 
a good line.” Erik felt he'd been fortu- 
nate to replace Shapiro with Abramson. 
What Erik had no way of knowing was 
that Abramson was at that moment jock- 
eying—along with many other promi- 
nent criminal attorneys—to be named to 
the Sumpson defense team. 

A handful of people are connected to 
both murder cases. Faerstein was with 
OJ. Че day he fled from Robert Kar- 
dashian's house. Mark Slotkin, an an- 
tique dealer and contractor and friend 


of O.J.'s who has appeared on numerous 
TV shows insisting on Simpson's inno- 
cence, was a Menendez defense witness 
in the first trial. Slotkin had sold Jose 
Menendez his Beverly Hills mansion, 
and both brothers approached him for 
business advice after killing their par- 
ents. Kato Kaelin’s attorney, William 
Genego, also testified as an expert wit- 
ness on an obscure legal point. Retired 
porno star Jennifer Peace appeared in 
front of a grand jury after claiming her 
former boyfriend, A.C. Cowlings, told 
her about О. |. Simpson's involvement in 
his wife's murder. Peace camped out 
overnight with Screw publisher Al Gold- 
stein (who once dated Judalon Smyth) to 
get a seat for Erik Menendez’ dramatic 
testimony. In the ultimate intersection of 
the stories, Erik and Lyle’s grandmother, 
Maria Menendez, had a brief meeting 
with O.J.'s mother, Eunice, in the wait- 
ing room at the county jail. The women 
hugged as they wished each other well. 


THE GAY QUESTION. 


Prosecutors tried to turn Erik's sexual 
identity into one of the lingering myster- 
ies of Menendez I. In a closed hearing 
the last week of the trial, deputy D.A. 
Lester Kuriyama hoped to prove Erik 
was gay. He asked permission to bring in 
a county jail inmate who would testify 
that he'd performed oral sex on Erik in 
the jail’s shower room. 

Kuriyama also sought testimony from 
a photographer who'd shot a modeling 
portfolio of what prosecutors considered 
to be suggestive pictures. Although the 


“We went out a few times, but we just couldn't recapture 
the intensity we had on the Internet." 


photo contact sheet contains mostly 
head shots, there are also pictures of a 
shirtless Erik in an open jean jacket and 
another of him wearing only white cot- 
ton briefs—a takeoff of the Calvin Klein 
ad. "It offends me that a molested child 
is being blamed this way for the perver- 
sion of his molester,” said Abramson. Af- 
ter an angry debate, Judge Stanley Weis- 
berg denied Kuriyama’s requests. 

Dominick Dunne interviewed the 
photographer, Philip Kearney, looking 
for evidence of what he called Erik's 
“possible homosexuality.” Kearney said 
he'd shot the portfolio in 1988 when 
Erik was considering becoming a model 
or actor. “Did you have an affair with 
Erik?” Dunne asked Kearney. “Spiritual- 
ly, yes. Physically, almost,” he replied. 
Vanity Fair reportedly paid $10,000 to 
run the underwear picture. 

Although the controversial evidence 
wasn't allowed in court, Kuriyama sug- 
gested in closing statements that Erik's 
homosexuality was the real Menendez 
family secret. “Homosexuality is a per- 
sonal choice,” he said. Over defense ob- 
jections, Kuriyama then hinted that Erik 
was gay. “If Erik indeed engaged in 
consensual homosexual activities, that 
would account for his ability to describe 
the sexual encounters with his father,” 
Kuriyama said. 

Lyle reportedly told a friend that he 
worried that Erik was bisexual. Erik in- 
sists he's not gay. 


CLASH OF THE TITANS 


The caustic feud between Vanity Fair's 
Dominick Dunne and Leslie Abramson 
began early in the trial. The day after 
opening statements, Dunne appeared 
оп Good Morning America. Shortly before 
the morning session began, the diminu- 
tive writer approached the equally 
diminutive Abramson and asked, “Did 
you see the plug I gave you this morning 
on TV?” “Nicky, I don't need any plugs,” 
Abramson replied coolly. 

The day after the mistrial, Abramson 
described him as “the little puke, the lit- 
tle closet queen” in a posttrial interview 
she set up with jurors sympathetic to the 
defense. Dunne had become a cheer- 
leader for the prosecution, keeping the 
anti-Menendez media juggernaut going 
strong for months following the mistrial. 

No one could accuse Dunne of being 
an uninvolved reporter when he wrote: 
“If Jose did stick needles and tacks into 
his son’s thighs and buttocks, why didn't 
Erik bleed? I tried sticking a thumbtack 
into my buttocks and 1 bled.” 

Dunne feigns disdain for Abramson 
but loves to write about her continuing 
criticism of his credentials. In various 
Menendez articles, he quotes a speech in 
which “she called me a liar and said that 
1 had made up facts,” retells an insult 
about himself from a BBG documentary 
and reprints every mention she made of 
him during the course of the trial. He 


even published an excerpt from the 
book proposal for Abramson’s forthcom- 
ing autobiography. 

Dunne has also tweaked her for mak- 
ing a reported $4000 a day as an O.J. 
commentator for ABC News. Of course, 
Dunne may be envious. He’s providing 
courtroom play-by-play for the less pres- 
tigious Good Morning America and the lo- 
cal CBS affiliate in L.A. But Dunne still 
has clout. He and Joe McGinnis—an 
author whose controversial journalism 
has resulted in best-sellers about Ted 
Kennedy and convicted murderer Jef 
frey MacDonald—have been given front 
row seats for the Simpson trial. Local news- 
papers are seated several rows behind 

“Here you have southern California's 
three leading newspaper companies rel- 
egated to the cheap seats while the front 
row is reserved for Judith Krantz in 
pants and Ted Kennedy's unauthorized 
mind reader,” complained Copley News 
reporter Paul Pringle to the Los Angeles 
Times. “Dunne’s a professional gossip, 
and it seems like McGinnis ought to be 
able to read O.J.'s mind from anywhere 
inthe courtroom." 

"It's perfect," chortled Abramson. 
“Judy and Judas together in the front 
row. What a team." 


JAILHOUSE ROCK 


As for the brothers, March 8 marked 
the fifth anniversary of Lyle's arrest. 


While Erik has been busy writing, Lyle 
needs more energy around him. When 
possible, he spends hours on the phone 
chatting with relatives, supporters, girl- 
friends and strangers who've written 
him letters. 

Before the trial, Lyle served as a jail 
trustee, delivering meals and distribut- 
ing mail to fellow prisoners. He pre- 
ferred it to being locked in a cell all day. 
At one point, Lyle Menendez became a 
tourist attraction, а popular diversion 
when visitors would tour the jail. 

"They used to bring mé out as a 
spokesperson, he says. "They would 
bring me around the corner and sort of 
parade me like the Elephant Man or 
something. People were shocked. I don't 
think they actually expected to meet me. 
"The kids would all be excited, and I ac- 
tually didn't mind it." 

"They would recognize me immedi- 
ately and I wouldn't be handcuffed or 
anything,” he said. “I would just stand 
there with a few deputies and we would 
joke around. They allowed them to ask 
me questions and then they would say, 
"What's it like? It must be a big switch 
for you, being in jail. How do they treat 
you in here?’ Obviously, I couldn't say 
that they beat me down every day or 
something.” 

Lyle already had a taste of celebrity life 
before becoming a stop on the jail tour. 


Fellow inmates frequently asked for an 
autograph. Among the other renowned 
prisoners he has met on celebrity row 
are Charles Manson (brought in for 
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ings—the mixed feelings about the 
whole thing coming out—will make a 
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155 


156 


DENNIS FRANZ (continued from page 114) 


“Vietnam was a terrifying, life-altering experience, 
yel I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.” 


investigation, he visits the dead boy's 
parents, who in their grief embrace the 
belief that their son's soul has taken resi- 
dence in a bird perched on their win- 
dowsill. They want to know what Sipo- 
wicz thinks. It was a difficult scene for 
Franz—because of the conflicting per- 
spectives Sipowicz brought to it as father 
and cop, because central to Sipowicz' 
persona is a disdain for self-delusion, 
and because Milch was súll rewriting, 
handing Franz his lines on the back ofan 
envelope. 

“Dennis was able to convey Sipowicz’ 
impatience with the parents’ mendacity,” 
Milch recalls, “yet express his empathy 
by looking at the bird and telling them 
he thinks he can see a light coming out 
of it. It was amazing. There were а lot of 
ways to do the scene badly, but Dennis 
found a way to do it well.” 

In short, the light radiated from 
Franz, What made the light so strong 
was not just its beneficence but its au- 
thority, too, an authority forged during a 
traumatic time the actor rarely discusses. 


Ona rainy morning several days after 
he received his Golden Globe, and sever- 


al weeks after the nation got its look at 
his backside, Franz was padding around 
his spacious home in Bel Air. The house 
where television's fiercest lawman lives, 
it turns out, looks more like an antique 
shop than a precinct station. Over the 
years, at swap meets and estate sales, 
Franz and Joanie have amassed a sizable 
trove. Much of it goes under the heading 
of Country Cute—old railroad signs, 
cow tchotchkes, bottle racks, American 
flag pillows, vintage radios, an enameled 
turn-of-the-century stove. АЙ of it means 
something to its owners, most particular- 
ly an upright piano they bought for $35 
at an auction in Lake of the Ozarks, Mis- 
souri, loaded into a U-Haul trailer and 
drove home through a blizzard only to 
discover it would cost $1600 to refur- 
bish. Suffice it to say, six years later the 
piano sits on the porch, untouched. 

In the midst of his tour, the doorbell 
rang and Franz answered. Congratula- 
tions for the Golden Globe were still 
pouring in—this one in the form of a 
bottle of Cristal champagne from Ted 
Harbert, president of ABC. Consider- 
ing everything NYPD Blue has done for 
the network, the champagne seemed a 
rather paltry gesture. 


“It was a super porno movie, Frank. Let’s not spoil it.” 


After scanning Harbert's note, Franz 
puffed out his chest, cocked an eye and 
let loose a barrage worthy of Sipowicz: 
“This is all I'm worth to you, Ted? This is 
it? Where are the car keys? 

“This is nice, but what happened 
to the days when they gave you a car? 
I could use a new four-wheel-drive 
vehicle.” 

For an instant, Franz seemed genuine- 
ly perturbed. But then he smiled, for he 
knew that ABC would begin expressing 
its gratitude two mornings later. A lim- 
ousine would whisk him to the waiting 
Learjet in which he, Bochco, Jimmy 
Smits and Bill Clark—the former New 
York cop who works as NYPD Blue's 
technical advisor—would Ну to Miami 
for a Super Bowl weekend that would in- 
clude dinner with Diane Sawyer and 
other network notables, a round of golf 
with Harbert, nonstop soirees and, al- 
most as an afterthought, a football game. 
The Cristal was merely a prelude. 

After pouring coffee, Franz walked in- 
to the den where his dogs, Bigelow and 
Gallagher—mammoth husky mixes, 
one of whom had recently lost a leg to 
cancer—were lolling around. Outside, 
visible through a sliding door, rain 
danced across the dark surface of a 
swimming pool. 

Unlike so many actors, Franz does not 
revel in self-revelation. Though not ex- 
actly guarded, he is neither insecure 
enough to seek validation through con- 
fession nor egotistical enough to pre- 
sume others are really that interested. 
Yes, he has tales to tell, but he doesn’t 
force them on you, especially if they in- 
volve Vietnam. 

In much the same way that Franz’ 
friends are in accord that he is a prince 
among men, they're also in accord that, 
to a one, they didn't learn about his ser- 
vice in Vietnam until years after they 
met him. With Milch, who's worked with 
the actor on NYPD Blue, Hill Street Blues 
and the short-lived Beverly Hills Buntz, it 
took a decade. Even then, he says, Franz 
was cryptic about it all. With Joe Man- 
tegna it took three years, and the con- 
versation was likewise brief. It ended 
when Mantegna, who'd opposed the 
war, realized he had no frame of refer- 
ence from which to respond. “What 
could I say?” he asks. “Bummer?” 

When apprised of his friends’ una- 
nimity on the subject, Franz seemed 
somewhat taken aback. But then he ad- 
mitted; “It's not something I preface a 
relationship with. I don't say, ‘Hi, I'm 
Dennis Franz and [ went to Vietnam.’ 
But if I'm asked, I don't hold back. It 
wasa terrifying, life-altering experience, 
yet I wouldn't trade it for anything in the 
world.” 

It was 1968, and Franz had recently 
graduated from Southern Illinois Uni- 
versity with a degree in drama and 
speech. His student deferment up, the 
draft board calling, he enlisted. After 


basic training at Fort Dix he entered 
officer candidate school. Franz takes 
pains not to paint himself as a would-be 
hero but as a confused and terrified 
young man whose actions were predicat- 
ed on a desire to avoid combat. “It was 
strictly out of fear,” he said. “I did not 
want to get shot. The plan was to get in- 
to special services and somehow enter- 
tain the troops.” 

Franz’ illusions, however, were soon 
dashed. There was no hope of hoofing 
his way through the war—the Army 
wanted its second lieutenants at the 
front. And Franz realized he wasn't cut 
out to be a leader of men. So three weeks 
into officer candidate school, he request- 
ed reassignment to infantry duty. The 
next day, he was ordered to Vietnam— 
orders, he confides, he almost 
obeyed. “I was duc to ship out of Oak- 
land, but I had a friend living in San 
Francisco, and there couldn't have been 
a worse choice in 1969 than between 
Haight-Ashbury and Saigon. I was three 
days late reporting. I toyed with the idea 
of going AWOL. Butit's not in my make- 
up. I couldn't disgrace my family. I 
couldn't live a life always looking over 
my shoulder.” 

In country, Franz was assigned to a re- 
con unit of the 82nd Airborne and was 
soon immersed in the fighting. “Our pri- 
mary function was to set up ambushes 
along enemy trails," he recalled evenly. 
“Ar night, we went out in 15-man teams 
and stood in rice paddics with the water 
up to our waists. We received fire and 
dispersed fire, sometimes into darkness, 
sometimes at targets.” 

After five months in the Mekong delta, 
the 82nd pulled out. Franz was detached 
to а unit of the 1015: Airborne, which 
was patrolling wooded terrain. There, 
he saw his worst action. 

“1 had a couple experiences 1 remem- 
ber pretty vividly,” he said, pulling Big- 
elow between his knees. 

“One time, we were walking down a 
road. That was wrong. We usually went 
down the sides. But we'd been climbing 
up through trees, and it was a luxury to. 
walk down a road. I was next to the last 
man in line. We'd all passed this point. I 
was carrying my rifle at the ready, and 
the guy behind me yelled, ‘Denny, why 
you carrying your rifle like that? Sling it 
over your shoulder and enjoy the walk? 
Fifteen seconds later, there was а huge 
explosion, and I saw the guy who had 
just spoken to me ten feet in the air, his 
leg going in the other direction. He'd 
stepped on a land mine. He lost a leg, an 
arm and his eyesight. The most frighten- 
ing thing about it was that we'd all just 
walked over the same point. We had all 
walked over the mine. He was just be- 
hind me. 

“There was another occasion,” Franz 
went on, “where we were in a village 
conducting a cordon search for VC. It 
was daytime, and we were going from 


hut to hut looking for any info indicating 
they were there—guns, bullets, military 
clothing. We were quite unsuccessful, 
but they were there. That night, our po- 
sition came under attack. I was in the 
dirt, trying to crawl right into the dirt, 
holding my rifle over my head and 
firing. Next to me I heard people get- 
ting hit, screaming. Bullets were going 
right over my head. I was shaking invol- 
untarily, but I kept firing, not necessari- 
ly to kill anyone but because that was the 
only way to make it stop. I had to make it 
stop. The next day, we returned to the 
village, and it was like the day before. No 
sign of them. That was the frustration of 
the war. 

Upon the completion of his tour of 
duty, Franz was honorably discharged. 
Back in Chicago, he experienced some 
of the difficulties that afflicted other 
Vietnam vets. “Having subjected your- 
self to all that to save others—or so we 
naively thought—and come back and try 
to adjust to the hostility directed at us 
was hard,” he said. “I had to try and un- 
derstand that behavior and in some cas- 
es forgive it. 1 spent a year not doing 
much.” 

But Franz re-entry problems notwith- 
standing, he returned from Vietnam un- 
scathed. While he may not have relished 
the war, he relished having served. “I 
did it. Stood up to it. Came back,” he 
said. “I left my youth behind. I was no 
longer a boy. I had earned a certain 
sense of manhood.” 

With that, Franz rose from the sofa 
and walked into the kitchen for another 
cup of coffee, a man who will talk about 
Vietnam after all but doesn’t need to. 
Which, not to profane the sacred, breeds 
the kind of confidence that most actors 
would kill for, 


Whatever confusion Franz felt thase 
first few months back from Vietnam, he 
was on his feet by 1972, making а con- 
certed effort at launching his acting ca- 
reer. Initially, he worked the Chicago 
dinner-theater circuit, appearing in such 
period pieces as Luv. Then, in his life's 
pivotal creative turn, he landed a partin 
the Organic Theater's production of Ray 
Bradbury's The Wonderful Ice Cream Suit. 

Headquartered in Chicago's tough 
Uptown section, the Organic was at the 
time the city’s premiere art-theater com- 
pany, a precursor to Steppenwolf. Here, 
director Stuart Gordon—who would lat- 
er become known for writing Honey, Г 
Shrunk the Kids—assembled a cadre of 
talented actors and staged numerous 
original works. The most notable pro- 
duction was Bleacher Bums, the story of a 
group of long-suffering Chicago Cubs 
fans that went on to a profitable second 
life as a touring show (it ran for 11 years 
in Los Angeles) and was made into 


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a PBS movie. 

The Organic attracted the usual pot- 
smoking, war-protesting artistes. Except 
Franz. “He was very solid, Mr. Status 
Quo,” recalls Joe Mantegna, who was 
one of the ensemble’s mainstays. To be- 
gin with, Franz owned a car—not any 
car but a new Chevy, on which he made 
monthly payments. If that wasn't far out 
enough, he had a day job as a security 
guard at the Pick-Congress, a downtown 
convention hotel. In other words, the 
latest recruit to this band of countercul- 
ture gypsies was a house dick. 

Yet, no matter how out of place Franz 
might have seemed initially at the Or- 
ganic, he soon established himself as one 
Of its stars, winning numerous excellent 
notices, particularly for his work in 
Bleacher Bums (for which he also received 
a writing credit). Moreover, he began de- 
veloping the acting style that would sus- 
tain him, a style that plainly lent itself to 
portraying policemen. 

“There was just something about 
him,” remembers Mantegna. “One of 
the plays we did together was called 
Cops. As research, we would drive 
around the neighborhood in an old 
Buick to get a sense of what it was like to 
be on patrol. We'd pull up to a group of 
hookers on the corner, and all Dennis 
had to do was roll down the window and 
stare at them, and they’d squeal, ‘We 
ain't doing nothing.’ Dennis would say, 
Just watch ourselves” And it sounded 
authentic. 

Alter five years at the Organic, Franz 
was ready to take a shot at Hollywood. 
So, too, was Mantegna, and they drove 
west together. Mantegna and his wife 
towed Franz’ car behind their own, while 
Franz drove the U-Haul truck that car- 
ried the two households’ belongings. 

On the coast, Franz found that his 
gritty stage presence was a double-edged 
sword—it got him work, but it also got 
him typecast. The cop in Brian De Pal- 
ma's The Fury (1978)—that was Franz. 
The detective in De Palma's Dressed to 
Kill (1980)—that, too, was Franz. The 
airport security chief in Die Hard 2 
(1990) —Franz again. In all, Franz has 
played 28 different lawmen. Still, as con- 
fining as the roles may often have been, 
it was while playing a cop that he en- 
tered Steven Bochco's orbit. 

Though Sal Benedetto skulked 
through only a few episodes of Hill Street 
Blues, he was one of the most idiosyn- 
cratic characters ever to be written into а 
show famous for idiosyncratic charac- 
ters. Bad to the bone, a disgrace to his 
shield, he came to a grimly memorable 
end. Caught in the process of trying to 
rob a bank, he went mano а mano with a 
bomb-squad robot. Then, as Officer J.D. 
LaRue (Kiel Martin) urged him on, he 
committed suicide, 

Bochco and company immediately rc- 
gretted dispatching Benedetto—not so 
much because they missed him as a char- 


acter but because they missed working 
with Franz. And from that day forth, 
they cast the actor whenever they could. 
In the short-lived baseball drama Bay 
City Blues, Franz appeared as pitching 
coach Angelo Carbone. Then, when 
MTM productions fired Bochco at the 
end of Hill Street's fifth year, his replace- 
ments—Milch and Jeffrey Lewis— 
brought back Franz as Norman Buntz, 
an oleaginous, polyester-clad detective 
whom Milch characterizes as “Benedetto 
benignly mutated 20 percent.” Buntz, 
who was accompanied almost every- 
where by a trusty snitch named Sid (Pe- 
ter Jurasik), proved to be such a hit that 
when Hill Street finally came to an end in 
1987, Milch and Lewis gave Franz his 
own series, Beverly Hills Вит. The spin- 
off, though, did not win a wide audience 
and was canceled afier 13 episodes. Yet 
Franz emerged untarnished, and when 
Bochco and Milch reunited to do NYPD 
Blue, he was, of course, at the top of 
their list. 

Franz obviously relishes the success of 
NYPD Blue and relishes playing Andy 
Sipowicz. “I'm riding this thing until the 
end,” he maintains. “I think so much of 
the writers, the producers and the show. 
There's so much still to explore with 
Sipowicz.” Yet he adds that if he never 
portrays another cop, it won't be too 
soon. And he may not have to. With 
the recognition and the ratings come, 
of course, opportunities. In February, 
Franz played attorney Kichard “Касе- 
horse” Haynes in the miniseries Texas 
Justice. In May, he hosted Saturday Night 
Live. Meanwhile, he’s been cast as one of 
the three leads in Tristar's forthcoming: 
feature production of David Mamet's 
American Buffalo. 

Quite simply, it’s been a sweet year for 
Franz. “There comes a time when me- 
tabolism, numerical age and enthusiasm 
all mesh,” he reflects. “For me, it didn't 
happen when I was 20. It’s happening 
now.” And the best part of it had nothing 
to do with Hollywood. 


To characterize Franz’ romantic life as 
unsettled wouldn't be exactly right. He 
and Joanie Zeck have been together for 
13 years. To say that he's had a problem 
with commitment would also be in error, 
as he has not only lived under the same 
roof with her for most of that period, but 
also has acted as a father to her two 
daughters. And yet Franz had never рї 
en any sign of being the marrying kind. 
Indeed, throughout the relationship's 
first decade, he kept his own apartment 
in Los Angeles’ Fairfax district. True, he 
never spent a night in the place, using it 
chiefly as a retreat where he could read 
scripts and listen to music. Yet he held 
оп to it defiantly, much as а man might 
hold on to ап unrealized fantasy. It was a 
last bastion of independence. 


Late in 1993, however, Franz gave up 
his bachelor pad, prompting friends to 
nod knowingly. No one, however, was 
prepared for what he would do at his 
50th birthday party a few months later. 
Least of all Franz. 

Joanie, a tough, redheaded fireball 
who's in the corporate promotions busi- 
ness, had rented a room for 200 at a San 
Fernando Valley restaurant, transform- 
ing it into an homage to Franz. The walls 
were covered with blown-up photo- 
graphs from his childhood. The tables 
were topped by chocolate centerpieces 
shaped to resemble TVs, the screens 
filled by a likeness of the birthday boy. 
And as a final touch, a Hirschfeld carica- 
ture of Franz had been etched into the 
champagne glasses at the head table. 

Alll of Franz’ family and friends were 
in attendance, as were most of the gangs 
from Hill Street Blues and NYPD Blue: 
Steven Bochco and David Milch, Jimmy 
Smits, Sharon Lawrence, Nick Turtur- 
ro, Peter Jurasik, Charlie Haid, Bruce 
Weitz, Joe Spano. 

Not surprisingly, there was much 
drinking, much dancing and, at the end, 
much toasting—most eloquently from 
Joe Mantegna. 

“Schlachta is 50,” Mantegna ex- 
claimed as an opener. 

Then, more solemnly, he saluted 
Franz as a friend, actor and “the man 
who 30 years ago, when we were smok- 
ing pot and saying what a horrible coun- 
try this is, was running around in rice 
paddies on the other side of the world so 
that today, we could all sit here together 
in this beautiful room. 

“Dennis, if you were my brother, I 
couldn't love you more.” 

With emotions running high, a 
sharply attired but nervous Franz took 
the stage. 

“Joanie, come up here,” he began, and 
she did. 

Then, with Joanie by his side, he said: 
“This is gonna knock me out. I'm totally 
unprepared for this. 1 don’t have any- 
thing in my pocket, but—in front of all 
of you—will you marry me?” 

‘There was, of course, bedlam. Not un- 
til the pandemonium died down was 
Franz again able to be heard: “She said 
yes.” Six months later the two ex- 
changed vows. 

And so in the same year, Dennis 
Franz—a man not given to exhibition- 
ism, a man for whom restraint is still a 
virtue—had twice bared all. To the tele- 
vision audience, he'd shown that part of 
himself upon which the sun does not 
shine. To his wife-to-be, he'd exposed his 
heart. In each instance, the response 
had been profoundly affirming. At 50, 
Franz had chosen the exact right mo- 
ment to reveal both the man within and 
the man without. 


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America Corp., 800-368-2237. “Wild 
Things": Pager by Motorola, 800-548- 
9945. Notebook computers by /BM, 800- 
772-2227. Personal digital assistants by 
Motorola, 708-523-8770. "Multimedia Re- 
views & News": Software: By Jasmine Mul- 
timedia, 800-798-7537. By Interactive 
Entertainment, 714-893-1919. By Dennis 
Publishing, 800-825-0061. Online ser- 
vices: By Prodigy, 800-PRODIGY. By Com- 
puserve, 800-848-8990. 


HAWAIIAN CHIC 
Pages 70-73: By Avanti, at Avanti Fashion, 


о BUY 
229 Kuhio Ave., Honolulu, 


808-926-6886. By AAArd- 
vark's, at AAArdvark's, 7579 
Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, 
213-655-6769. From 
Golyester, 7957 Melrose 
Ave., Los Angeles, 213-655- 
3393. By Que, at On Board, 
390 S. Pacific Coast. Hwy., 
Laguna Beach, 714-494- 
1618. By GMSurf, at 
Georges Marciano, 323 N. 
Rodeo Dr, Beverly Hil 
310-271-1818, From Radio 

Hula, 169 Mercer Ave., NYG, 212-226- 

4467. By Reyn Spooner, 800-366-7396. 


THE LINEN LOOK 
Pages 100-101: Jacket and trousers by 
Calvin Klein Collection, at Calvin Klein 
stores. Linen shirt by Joseph Abboud Collec- 
tion, Joseph Abboud, 37 Newbury SL, 
Boston, 617-266-4200. Tie by Best of Class 
by Robert Talbott, at Robert Talbott stores. 
Loafers by Hush Puppies, 800-433-HUSH. 
Belt by Barneys New York, at Barneys New 
York stores. Jacket and trousers by Joseph 
Abboud Collection, at Joseph Abboud, 
Boston. Shirt and tie by Agnes b., at 

b., 116 Prince St, NYC, 219-334-0965. 
Belt by Brone Private Label, at Tyrone. 76 
Spruce St., Cedarhurst, МУ, 516-569- 
3330. Oxfords by To Boot, from To Boot at 
Bergdorf Goodman, 745 Filth Ave., NYC, 
212-339-3335. Sunglasses by Revo, 800- 
321-REVO. Jacket and trousers by Paul 
Smith, at Paul Smith, 108 Fifth Ave., NYC, 
212-697-9770. Shirt by Andrew Fezza Dress 
Shirt, at Bloomingdale's and Bigsby & 
Kruthers stores. Tie by Joseph Abboud Col- 
lection, at Joseph Abboud, Boston. Ox- 
fords by Giorgio Armani, From To Boot at 
Bergdorf Goodman, NYC. Sunglasses by 
Oliver Peoples, at Oliver Peoples, 8642 Sun- 
set Blvd., Los Angeles, 310-657-2553. 


WATER TOYS 

Pages 103-105: Breathing observation 
bubble by Bellaqua Inc., 407-582-7800, Step 
Jet by Step Jet Corp., 800-357-7837. Speed- 
ster by Sea-Doo Jet Boats, 800-882-2900. 
Air Chair by RBM Inc., 909-383-0474. 


CARRY ON! 
Pages 126-127: By Alfred Dunhill of Lon- 
don, 919.753.0999. Ву The Territory Ahead, 
805-962-5333. By R.PI. Co., 800-660- 
0228. From the Sharper Image, 312-335- 
1600. By Ghurka, 800-243-4368. 


ON THE SCENE 

Page 161: Digital cameras: By Fujix, 800- 
755-3854. By Apple Inc., 800-538-9606. By 
Kodak, 800-242-2424. By Logitech, 800- 
231-7717. 


‘CREDITS: PHOTOGRAPHY BY. P 7 TED BETZ. STEVE CONWAY. ANDREW GOLDMAN. RON MESAROS 12), пов RICH. PHIL SHOCK- 
о 3 


CROONING BY NANCY SPRAGUE FOR IVY BERNHARD AGENCY STYLING BY ANDREW RICHARDSON FOR DI 


159 


“Human years, dog years 
- don’t matter. This 
dawg’s gonna be around 


a mighty long time.” 


You are your own dog. 


Red Dog Beer. 


Enjoy It Responsibly. 


Plank Road Brewery. 


61995 PLANK ROAD BREWERY MILWAUKEE, WL 


PLAYBOY 


m | з 
ERE IT’S HAPPENING AND 


а) ОЛИ SUN ANE ORE CTS TO DS = 


ome entertainment isn’t the only thing going digital ing time involved; you simply point, shoot and then hook the cam- 

these days. Digital cameras, which take electronic pho- era up to your PC to view the images. Some digital cameras, in- 

tographs that can be downloaded onto a personal com- cluding Casio's QV-10, can be connected to video printers to pro- 

puter, have become the coveted toys among techies. duce instant wallet-sized and portrait shots. Although the digital 

do they work? Basically, these cameras capture shots on a photos won't have the extra-crisp resolution of those taken with 
light-sensitive silicon chip rather than on film. There's no process- а traditional 35mm camera, the turnaround time can't be beat. 


Digital cameras begin at $700. Generally, the more you pay, the better the picture. Our ace shooter aims to please with Fujix’ 05-515, a di 
tal SLR camera with a Nikon F4 body and PCMCIA storage capabilities ($14,835). Proceeding clockwise: Apple’s Mac- and Windows-compati- 
ble Quick Take 150 with an infrared close-up lens ($750), Kodak's Nikon N90-based DCS 460c—the camera we used to take this shot—with a 
PCMCIA card slot and a for annotations (527,995), and Logitech's IBM-compatible Foto Man Pixtura with 144-image storage ($995). 


2 Nikon 


Where & How to Buy On page 159. 


Skirting 
Diana 

Starlet DIANA 
RAY has made 
posters, calendars 
and virtual reality 
video games. You 
also have seen 
her on Baywatch. 
Now doing a pilot 
for A Whole New 
Ballgame, she's 
looking for a 
home run. 


GRAPEVINE 


The Monster Mash 

Colorado-based BIG HEAD TODD & THE MONSTERS 
has had the heady experience of having its first al- 
bum, Sister Sweetly, turn gold on the charts. The 
sophomore LP, Stralegem, has been described by gui- 
tarist Todd Park Mohr as koans or riddles meant to 
empty the mind. Go and fill yours. 


Elaine 
Goes 
Glamorous 
When JULIA 
LOUIS-DREYFUS 
plays Elaine on 
Seinfeld, she 
sparkles from the 
inside out. In this 
photo, she does 
some sparkling 
on the outside. 


Dressed to Spill 

You know actress KELLY LEBROCK from 
Weird Science and Woman in Red. Her new 
video, Hard Bounty, is a Western. It tells the 
story of a bounty hunter turned saloon 
keeper, a bevy of “working girls,” a murder 
and revenge. Kelly carries a .45, but not in 
this dress. 


A Peek 
at Cheeks 
Singer NONA 
HENDRYX is still 
pushing the enve- 
lope, appearing 
in this outfit at 
the APLA Com- 
mitment to Life 
awards in Los An- 
geles. Look for a 
new album be- 
fore the end of 
the year. Until 
then, Nona's bot- 
tom's got ‘em. 


What, Me 
Worry? 
Leno and Letterman 
slugged it out while 
Late Night host CO- 
NAN O'BRIEN was 
finding an audience. 
He's no longer Conan 
Who. O'Brien's goofy 
humor gets laughs. 


Temporaril 
Beached 4 


LISA FALCONE can be 
seen ina recent Black 
Crowes music video, 
as а host of Playboy 
TV's Erotic Land- 
scapes and in her fea- 
ture film debut, The 
Kingdom of the Blind. 
Our eyes are on Lisa. 


GET THE WILLIES 


Willie Mosconi was a child prodigy who eventu- 
ally racked up 15 Pocket Billiard World Cham- 
pionships before he retired in 1957. The 
Mosconi estate has commissioned a set of five 
trading cards to commemorate him. The pric 
$20, sent to the Willie Mosconi Card Collection, 
РО, Box 3661, Arlington, Washington 98223 
More Mosconi trading cards will be issued soon. 


CZAR HORIZON 


Now that Russia has embraced capitalism, 
czarist-chic drinking vessels are a hot export. 
The bear and stag hunting-horn goblets pic- 
tured below, for example, are $100 each, as is 
the Fabergé-inspired helmet vodka cup. All are 
from Russian Fine Arts & Collectibles, LLC, 
800-335-2764. (All the vessels are gilt finished.) 
And if your tastes run to hand-etched Romanov 
and Nicholas 11 crystal goblets and decanters, 
the company sells those, too. 


POTPOURRI 


GOING OUT WITH A BANG 


“Serving the needs of model makers, restorers and other serious 
students of antique artillery” is how South Bend Replicas, Inc., 
describes itself. And if you've ever wanted to really celebrate the 
Fourth of July, this is the place to write. Prices range from about 
$985 for the Continental, a 26’-long model of a Revolutionary 
War cannon on wheels, to $20,000 for an authentic reproduction 
of a Civil War field gun that’s powerful enough to blow the beje- 
sus out of just about anything. Write South Bend Replicas at 
61650 Oak Road, South Bend, Indiana 46614, for its huge $7 
catalog. No, Replicas doesn't sell earplugs. 


CUTE CUTOUTS 


Sculpt’ Art ıs a Miami 
company that special- 
izes in multidimen- 
sional laser-cut acrylic 
sculptures in sizes from 
3” x 5" to eight feet 
tall. Just send a photo 
ora negative to 299 
SW 8th Street, 2nd 
floor, Miami 33130, 
and specify the size 
you'd like. (An 8” 
x 10” creation is 
$42.95, and the com- 
рапу does not have a 
problem with 
mate shots.) In about 
aweek, you'll get 
your sculpture and 
the original photo 
will be returned. 
Call 305-860-1345 
with questions. And 
in addition to 
three-dimensional 
sculptures, 
Sculpt’ Art also 
creates silhouette 
cutouts. Yes, the prices are cheaper. 


LINKS TO THE PAST 


Eugene Klompus, president of the Na- 
tional Cuff Link Society, owns 30,000 
pairs. And if cufflinks turn you on like 
they do Klompus, then $25 for a year's 
membership would be money well spent. 
In addition to receiving four issues of The 
Link, which provides info on cuff link 
trends, collectibles and special events, 
you'll get up to six free cuff link apprais- 
als a year as well as discounts at jewelers. 
The society’s address is RO. Box 346, 
Prospect Heights, Illinois 60070. 


BRITANNIA RULES THE WAVES 


‘The classic English pond yacht а nau- 
tical toy that refuses to sink. Prentiss 
Court, РО. Box 8662, Greenville, South 


Carolina 29604, sells five styles of hand- 
made wooden yachts. Designed for dis- 
play, not play, the boats measure about 
30” long and are priced from $200 to $415. 
“The $400 Concordia (pictured here) is a 
traditional knockabout with a gaff rig. A 
catalog costs $2. Call 803. 929. 


ELVGREN AND BARE IT 


Referred to as the Norman 
Rockwell of cheesecake, Gil Elv- 
gren is an American pinup leg- 
end. Collector's Press, PO. Box 
230986, Portland, Oregon 
97281, has just released an over- 
size softcover book titled Pin-Up 
Poster Book: The Elugren Collection 
that includes a biography of the 
artist as well as 16 of his sexiest 
illustrations. (/ Gave Him the 
Brush-off is pictured here.) Price: 
$25. And for $80, Collector’ 
Press also offers a limited-edi- 
tion hardcover version signed by 
the book’s author, Marianne Ohl 
Phillips, an authority on pinups, 
and Elvgren's son, Drake. Call 
503-864-3030. 


MR. TOAD, EAT YOUR HEART OUT. 


Sure, today's automobiles are probably the safest and soundest 
machines to ever ease down the road. But the cars of yester- 
year—Hispano-Suizas, Bugattis, Cords and Duesenbergs—were 
the wheels that kings drove. Now Phaidon Press has published 
Dashboards, a gorgeous 240-page coflee-table book that features 
the view from behind the stecring wheel of 52 exciting automo- 
bilcs. Start your journcy in a Panhard 80CV and end it aboard a 
BMW 2002 Turbo. Price: $39.95; to order, call 800-722-6657. 


LINE OF ATTACK 


Navy SEALs, Marine Force Re- 
cons and others who serve in the 
Special Operations branch of the 
military are a special breed, and 
their adventures past and pres- 
ent make for great reading. Our 
choice for firepower by the fire- 
side? Behind the Lines, "The Jour- 
nal of U.S. Military Operation,” 
a bimonthly publication full of 
warrior lore. A year’s subscrip- 
tion is $24, sent to Behind the 
Lines, RO. Box 456, Festus, Mis- 
souri 63028. And if you like the 
LRP/Ranger image pictured 
here, it’s available on a T-shirt 
for $19.95 (sizes medium to ex- 
tra large). Tough-looking Ma- 
гіпс Force Recon and z 
UDT Tshirts are also available. 


МЕХТ МОМТН 


RADIO DAYS: 


FANILY VALUES. 


VLADIMIR NABOKOV'S “LA VENEZIANA" APPEARS FOR 
THE FIRST TIME IN ENGLISH—AT A STRANGE PARTY IN AN 
ANCIENT CASTLE, YOUNG SIMPSON IS TOLD THAT TO АР- 
PRECIATE A FINE PAINTING HE MUST BECOME A PART OF 
IT. NEWLY TRANSLATED FICTION FROM THE MASTER 


THE WOMEN OF RADIO—BEHIND THOSE DULCET TONES. 
ARE WOMEN WITH EVERYTHING YOU IMAGINED—AND 
MORE. A PICTORIAL FROM THE DRIVE-TIME DIVAS 


SCREW THE YOUNG —ТЕВА!НЕО BY THE GEEZER LOBBY 
IN D.C., LEGISLATORS ARE ONCE AGAIN STICKING IT TO 
AMERICA'S YOUTH. LET THE GENERATIONAL WARS BEGIN. 
ARTICLE BY MARK JANNOT 


THOSE BATTLING HAFTS—THE FAMILY THAT TRANS- 
FORMED DISCOUNT MERCHANDISING REVOLTS AGAINST 
ITSELF—FATHER VS. SON, BROTHER VS. BROTHER. КАНА. 
SWISHER HANDICAPS THE WINNERS AND LOSERS 


THE CHARMED LIFE OF TOMMY LEE—WHAT DOES THE 
MOTLEY CRUE ROCKER HAVE THAT YOU DON'T? PAMELA 
ANDERSON AND AN EMPTY ATTIC. HUMOR BY CHRISTO- 
РНЕЯ NAPOLITANO AND STEPHEN RANDALL 


RACHEL, RACHEL 


BERRY GORDY—THE MAN WHO INVENTED MOTOWN 
OPENS UP ABOUT R&B GREATS, DIANA ROSS AND WHY 
STARS BOLT FOR OTHER LABELS IN A PLATINUM PLAYBOY 
INTERVIEW BY DAVID SHEFF 


TREKMANIA—IN A FEATURE THAT BOLDLY GOES WHERE 
NONE HAS GONE BEFORE, DANIEL RADOSH EXPLORES 
TREK SEX, ROMULAN DRINKING GAMES, EXTRATERRES- 
TRIAL PICK-UP LINES AND STARSHIP FIX-IT TIPS 


DAWN STEEL—THE FIRST WOMAN TO HEAD A MOTION 
PICTURE STUDIO SOUNDS OFF ON BALLS, THE GASTING 
COUGH AND THE DEFINITION OF A BITCH IN 20 QUESTIONS 


BOB ZEMECKIS—WITH HIS MOVIE HITS ROMANCING THE 
STONE, WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT AND THE BACK ТО 
THE FUTURE FILMS, HE WAS THE KING OF ACTION FUN. 
THEN CAME FORREST GUMP, AND NOW THE DIRECTOR'S 
A STAR. PROFILE BY JOE MORGENSTERN 


PLUS: WHAT'S HOT IN SUMMER SHOES, WATCHES FOR 
DIVERS, CARIBBEAN DRINKS AND A UNIQUE PICTORIAL 
VISIT WITH PLAYMATE RACHEL JEAN МАВТЕЕМ 


Playboy (ISSN 0032-1478), July 1995, volume 42, number 7. Published monthly by Playboy in national and regional editions, Playboy, 
680 North Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, Illinois 60611. Second-class postage paid at Chicago, Illinois and at additional mailing offices. 
Canada Post Canadian Publications Mail Sales Product Agreement No. 56162. Subscriptions: in U.S., $29.97 for 12 issues. Postmaster: 
166 Address change to Playboy, РО. Box 2007, Harlan, lowa 51537-4007, or e-mail circ@ny.playboy.com. Comments to: edit@playboy.com 


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he SMOOTHER side of success. 


SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Cigarette 
Smoke Contains Carbon Monoxide. 


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Smooih Flavor.