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МНИ =- THE GIRLS
ке ,U RADIO

BERRY GORDY

APLAYBOY =,
EXCLUSIVE:

STAR TREK MANIA

PLAYBOY BOLDLY

GOES WHERE

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PLAYBILL

FOR YEARS, Berry Gordy kept us dancing in the streets of Mo-
town. But while we knew his music, it seems we never knew
the man. What we heard through the grapevine pegged the
tycoon either as an icon or as an exploiter. Not until his recent
best-selling book, 70 Be Loved, did Gordy tell his side of the
story. Now Contributing Editor David Sheff gets an earful in an
Interview about Gordy’s first time with Diana Ross, figuring
out Michael Jackson and losing Marvin Gaye.

Vladimir Nabokov was a prized contributor to PLAYBOY. This
month we're proud to present the first English translation of
La Veneziana, from The Stories of Vladimir Nabokov (Alfred Knopf)
as edited by р. Nabokov. Fittingly, it involves a newly dis-
covered work of art, a beautiful temptress and a naive young
man. Our painting of the painting is by Istvan Banyai, a guy fa-
miliar with masterpieces; he has worked for Art and Antiques.

As for art appreciation, now’s the time to celebrate the
work of LeRoy Neiman—it's the 40th anniversary of Neiman’s
Femlin. Here are а few Femlin facts: She's a female gremlin
conceived by Hefand drawn by LeRoy for Party Jokes; she's ac-
cident prone (pours a drink, then spills it) and vertically chal-
lenged (in real life she’s 12 inches tall).

From mischief to mayhem: As the Oklahoma City bombing
made clear, chemical explosives give a few extremists the
punch of an army. Reporter Michael Reynolds, who tracked the
Unabomber for us, went undercover to monitor the new
hate groups. His gutty account, Day of the Zealots, makes you
realize that placing these paranoiacs on the far right is unfair;
they belong on another planet. Back on earth, there is a war
raging over real issues—and you can score one for the bald
guys. High taxes have Gen Xers looking enviously at the way
the denture crowd influences policy in D.C. Read Screw the
Young by Mark Jannot.

Hollywood's premiere moneymaker these days is Oscar-
winning director Bob Zemeckis. Blockbuster Bob built an ac-
tion-film fun house with Who Framed Roger Rabbit and Back to
the Fidure, then turned out Forrest Gump. In Bob Z Can Read
Your Mind, Joe Morgenstern examines Zemeckis’ winning for-
mula. While we were canvassing Hollywood, we asked writer
Robert Crane to check in with Dawn Steel, the first woman to
head a major motion picture studio. In 20 Questions, Steel ex-
plains why she's comfortable with balls, how she can't hide zits
from her husband and why the Japanese should stay home.

Now that we're talking 500 channels, it seems like half of
them are devoted to Star Trek—ıhere are also more novels,
movies and fans than we can keep Trek of. Writer Daniel
Radosh brings us up to warp speed on Trek sex drive, Romu-
lan drinks and pick-up lines for cute E.T.s in Keep Оп Фей".
Аз а bonus, Wilson McLean did a rogues’ gallery of aliens. Tom-
my Lee, the rogue drummer for Motley Crue, wooed Heather
Locklear and married Pam Anderson. Seems that a sense of
rhythm goes over big with the babes. Enjoy The Charmed Life of
Tommy Lee by our own Christopher Napolitano and Stephen Randall.

Аза Contributing Photographer, Richard Fegley knows lots of
guys would like to follow him around on the job. We did just
that for Fegley's shoot of Playmate Rachel Jean Marteen. Anoth-
er Playmate, Traci Adell, had a chat with O.J. Simpson the day
Nicole was killed. Oh, yes—she knows Kato, too. See her en-
core pictorial, When O.J. Phoned Traci. For the hottest drive-
time divas you've ever heard, tune into the Girls of Radio. But
first, turn to our summer drink feature, The Caribbean Connec-
tion, and Karen Borbour's intoxicating artwork. Read the rum-
soaked recipes, add a tiny umbrella and you're ready to enjoy
this issue in a high stylee, mon.

NABOKOV

BANYAL

RADOSH

RANDALL, NAPOLITANO, BARBOUR

Playboy (ISSN 0032-1478), August 1995, volume 42, number 8. Published monthly by Playboy in national and regional editions, Playboy,
680 North Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, Illinois 60611. Second-class postage paid at Chicago, Illinois and at additional mailing offices.

Canada Post Canadian Publications Mail Sales Product Agreement No, 56162. Subscri

ions: in the U.S., $29.97 for 12 issues. Postmaster:

Send address change to Playboy, РО. Box 2007, Harlan, Iowa 51537-4007. E-mail: edit@playboy.com.

ену, enjoy it responsibly.
а д

PLAYBOY.

vol. 42, no. 8—august 1995 CONTENTS FOR THE MEN’S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE
PLAYBILL. 3
DEAR PLAYBOY ...... 9
PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS _ 13
МОЅІС .............. 16
20
22
К 24
BRUCE WILLIAMSON 26
29

DIGBY DIEHL зо

FITNESS . JON KRAKAUER 32
MEN 20% ІХ un у, ..ASABABER 33
THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR. . .................. tern rr «а 263
THE PLAYBOY FORUM . d opcre 37
REPORTER'S NOTEBOOK opinion BERN 2.-.-.. ROBERT SCHEER 45
PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: BERRY GORDY- condid conversation. . 47
LA VENEZIANA—fiction VLADIMIR NABOKOV ва
WHEN O.J. PHONED TRACi—pictorial .......... Е ES НЕ
KEEP ОМ TREKKIN’—orticle. .. DANIEL RADOSH 62
DAY OF THE ZEALOTS—article 5 2 MICHAEL REYNOLDS 68
PLAYBOY GALLERY: THE BARBI TWINS—pictor ША ү eee ee 71

THE CHARMED LIFE OF TOMMY LEE—personality CHRISTOPHER NAPOLITANO
and STEPHEN RANDALL 72

SOLE SURVIVORS—fashion. .............................. HOLLIS WAYNE 74
BOB Z CAN READ YOUR MIND—playboy prenie -.JOE MORGENSTERN 78
DIVER'S PLEASURES—wotches . . 9 Е 80
ОМ CAMERA—playboy's playmate of the month ... 84
PARTY JOKES—humor . . Mn 2 "cmo em 194
UNGUARDED MOMENTS—nostalgia ED а. Ре 304 196
THE CARIBBEAN CONNECTION drink eese JOHN OLDCASTLE 99
CLASSIC COVER AND CENTERFOLD: AUGUST 1975—pictorial Жз. be Їй)
SCREW THE YOUNG—orticle MARK JANNOT 104
20 QUESTIONS: DAWN STEEL 106
GIRLS OF RADIO—pictorial ... ee 110
WHERE & HOW TO BUY occ 155
PLAYBOY ON THE SCENE. 157
COVER STORY

There's no sound so intoxicating as the sultry voice of a female DJ, and
puysoy’s Girls of Radio proves that's not their only attractive asset. Our cov-
er was styled by Lane Coyle-Dunn, produced by West Coast Photo Editor
Marilyn Grabowski and shot by Contributing Photographer Arny Freytag.
Thanks to cover girl Shelly Jones, and to Alexis Vogel for styling Shelly’s
hair and makeup. Holy FM fatales, it looks like our Rabbit is wired p sound.

PUBLICACIONES V REVISTAS ILUSTRADAS DEPENDIENTE OF La SECRETARIA DE GOBERNACIÓN MEXICO RESERVA OE TÍTULO EN TRÁMITE

PRINTED IN U.S.A.

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PLAYBOY

HUGH М. HEFNER
editor-in-chief

ARTHUR KRETCHMER editorial director
JONATHAN BLACK managing editor
TOM STAEBLER art director
GARY COLE photography director
KEVIN BUCKLEY executive editor
JOHN REZEK assistant managing editor

EDITORIAL

ARTICLES: PETER MOORE, STEPHEN RANDALL edi-
tors; FICTION: ALICE к. TURNER editor; FORUM:
JAMES R. PETERSEN senior staff writer; CHIP ROWE
assistant editor; MODERN LIVING: DAVID
STEVENS editor; BETH TOMKIW associate editor;
STAFF: BRUCE KLUGER, CHRISTOPHER NAPOLITANO.
BARBARA NELLIS associate editors; FASHION: HOL-
LIS WAYNE director; JENNIFER RYAN JONES assis-
tant editor; CARTOONS: MICHELLE URRY editor;
COPY: LEOPOLD FROEHLICH editor; ARLAN BUSH-
MAN assistant editor; ANNE SHERMAN copy associ-
ale; CAROLYN BROWNE senior researcher; LEE
BRAUER, REMA SMITH. SARI WILSON researchers;
CONTRIBUTING EDITORS: ASA BABER,
KEVIN COOK, GRETCHEN EDGREN. LAWRENCE GRO-
BEL, KEN GROSS (automotive, CYNTHIA HEIMEL,
WILLIAM J. HELNER, WARREN KALBACKER, D. KEITH
MANO, JOE MORGENSTERN, REG FOTTERTON, DAVID
RENSIN, DAVID SHEFF, DAVID STANDISH, MORGAN
STRONG, BRUCE WILLIAMSON (movies)

ART

KERIG POPE managing director; BRUCE HANSEN,
CHET SUSKI, LEN WILLIS Senior directors; KRISTIN
KORJENEK associate director; ANN SEIDL supervisor,
keyline/pasteup; PAUL CHAN. RICKIE THOMAS art
assistants

PHOTOGRAPHY

MARILYN GRABOWSKI west coast editor; JIM LARSON,
MICHAEL ANN SULLIVAN Senior editors; PATTY
BEAUDET associate editor; STEPHANIE BARNETT,
BETH MULLINS assistant editors; DAVID CHAN.
RICHARD FEGLEY, ARNY FREYTAG. RICHARD IZUI
DAVID МЕСЕХ, BYRON NEWMAN, POMPEO POSAR,
STEPHEN wavpa contributing photographers;
SHELLEE WELLS stylist; тім HAWKINS manager, pho-
to archive

RICHARD KINSLER publisher

PRODUCTION
MARIA MANDIS director; RITA JOHNSON manager;
KATHERINE CAMPION, JODY JURGETO. RICHARD
QUARTAROLI. TOM SIMONEK associate managers

CIRCULATION
LARRY A. DJERF newsstand sales director; үнүїллз
ROTUNNO subscription circulation director; CANDY
RAKOWTTZ communications director

ADVERTISING
ERNIE RENZULLI advertising director; JUDY BERK-
owırz national projects director; кімі. PINTO sales
director, eastern region; ІКУ KORNBLAU marketing
director; LISA NATALE research director

READER SERVICE
LINDA STROM, MIKE OSTROWSKI Correspondents

ADMINISTRATIVE
EILEEN KENT пеш media director; MARCIA ТЕК-
коме rights & permissions administrator

PLAYBOY ENTERPRISES, INC.
CHRISTIE HEFNER chairman, chief executive officer

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DEAR PLAYBOY

680 NORTH LAKE SHORE DRIVE
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 60611
FAX 312-649-9534
EMAIL DEARPE@PLAYBOY.COM
PLEASE INCLUDE YOUR DAYTIME PHONE NUMBER

KILLER WARDEN
As a corrections official, Га like to

comment on Dan Greenburg's article,
The Warden Was a Killer (May). Did 1
make a mistake attending Penn State in-
stead of the state pen? By appointing
Michael Marcum as warden, Sheriff
Michael Hennessey has slapped the faces
of the dedicated deputies in the San
Francisco Sheriff's Department and
those who put their lives on the line
every day inside America's correctional
facilities. Marcum should have been
made a civilian advisor and never have
been allowed to wear a badge.

Lenny Ortiz

Denver, Colorado

BASEBALL PREVIEW
I want to commend Kevin Cook for
his outstanding article, Baseball Preview
(May), on the state of the game. It's easy
to see that most of the current labor
problems stem from the owners' refus-
al to appoint a baseball commissioner.
Cook clarifies the history and addresses
the passion and problems of our nation-
al pastime.
Brendan McClain
Stockton, California

Kevin Cook has it all wrong. Baseball
is not a quest for perfection and the best
players. Baseball's myths and history are
the story of Everyman. If replacement
players had been allowed to play, they
would have become part of baseball folk-
lore, just as Casey Stengel's Mets did.
Their humanity and eagerness would
have brought freshness to a sport grown
tired with greed, drug use and other
cancers.

Neal Born
Casselberry, Florida

RHAPSODY IN BROWN

Ever since I first saw her coy pose in
the 40th Anniversary issue (The Great
40th Anniversary Playmate Search, January
1994), I have been hoping that Cindy

Brown would be selected as a Playmate.
As summer came and baseball ended, I
feared that she hadn't made the cut. But
her Playmate appearance in May, just as
spring and baseball return, prove that
she’s a natural.

Greg Recka

Columbia, Maryland

I work for the Environmental Protec-
tion Agency. After reading that Miss May
wants to work for the EPA, my co-work-
ers and I want to make a pitch for our re-
gional offices. We have some of the best
jobs in the country, protecting the envi-
ronment for future generations to enjoy.
Our assignments sometimes take us to
the Virgin Islands and Puerto Rico. We
want Cindy Brown to know that even if
she doesn't submit an application, we'd
love to give her a tour of our offices next
time she’s in New York.

Rob Ferri and friends
Environmental Protection Agency
New York, New York

MEN
Asa ВаБег May column, “Think Like
a Girl,” states that men of the Nineties
need to learn to cook. As a certified chef,
I disagree. Too many women of the
Nineties don’t know how to cook and
don't want to learn. I'm all for equal
rights, but let's spend equal time in the
kitchen, too.
Patrick Rae
ThetaClass@aol.com
St. Louis, Missouri

Compliments to Asa Baber, but let's be
serious—there’s no way men can think
like women. Even so, I enjoy Baber's ad-
vice and have learned much from his
columns.

Rob McCarry
Hartford, Connecticut

CAMILLE PAGLIA
Hooray for Camille Paglia (Playboy In-
lerview, May). Any woman who stays іп

яти LAKE SHORE DRIVE, сң АС oat WEST COAST 8245 BEVERLY BOULEVARD, BEVERLY FALLS СА BON
ЕЗ CENTEA. Sue thon НЕЕ RA аа аа таса сан тт созт аа

ROAD NE SUITE 10, ATLANTA. GA 3050 BOSTON NORTHEAST MEDIA SALES B FANELIC МАШ MARKE

an abusive relationship isn't а victim,
she’s a loser. When someone tells me
they were victimized, I point out that
they could have made a choice that
would have changed the outcome.

Ed Begley

Bellevue, Washington

Camille Paglia doesn't understand the
difference between men and boys. She
seems to believe that an erection gives a
man an excuse to attack a woman who
says no. Unfortunately, Paglia is the
Rush Limbaugh of the left, mixing just
enough of what we want to hear with the
fiction she creates. To all men who want
to find out more about feminism, beware
of loose cannons spouting warped ideas.

Tor Christensen
New York, New York

Squeeze a bunch of grapes onto the
ground and thank Aphrodite for giving
us Camille Paglia.
David Johansson
Melbourne, Florida

Camille Paglia's two most notable at-
tributes are her insights into the male
point of view and her comfort with her
‘own sexuality.

Anthony Centurione Jr.
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania

Paglia has been described as an enfant.
terrible, bellicose, swaggering, vain and
а raving pornographic maniac. Well,
that's what happens when you tell the
truth in America.

David Devore
Austin, Texas

1 was a bartender at a recent PLAYBOY
party for Nancy Sinatra that Camille
Paglia attended. When she walked up to
the bar, I was so flustered with admira-
tion that I poured her scotch with a
heavy hand. 1 apologized and she
replied, “It can never be too strong!”
The subtext was clear to me. 115 been a
long time since anyone has written with
such heart, soul and courage.

Alan James Edwards
New York, New York

Thanks for revealing the pompous,
self-serving and venal side of Paglia. The
bulk of the interview makes her out to be
no more ofa social commentator than ci-
ther Howard Stern or Rush Limbaugh.
Just like theirs, her criticism consists

She Sansone BREET SUTE er sax TRANCO EA кта БЕТОН.

PLAYBOY

more of hyperbole than of rational
thought. Maybe she's auditioning for a
talk show of her own.

John Potter

Huntington Beach, California

The Camille Paglia interview sizzled.
It ranked at the top with interviews of
Joyce Carol Oates and David Geffen.

William ReMine
Highlands Ranch, Colorado

Not since the Malcolm X Playboy Inter-
view has there been such a revolutionary
voice of wit and wisdom.

Tim Rider
Lancaster, Ohio

Camille Paglia’s manic diatribes are
hotter than any photographs PLAYBOY
could offer.

Renata Braganti
New York, New York

NANCY SINATRA
Kudos for the Nancy Sinatra picto-
rial (These Boots Are Back, May). Гт a
22-year-old college senior who once
thought that women were sexy only be-
tween the ages of 20 and 30. But Nancy
proves me wrong. She is absolutely great
at 54. By the way, I love the boots.
Chris Chalberg
BacardiMan@aol.com
Waco, Texas

Asa teenager in 1968, 1 loved listening
to Nancy Sinatra's music. I bought all of
her albums and spent many a sleepless
night trying to imagine what was be-
neath her minidress. So you can certain-

ly understand how seeing Nancy's picto-
rial is a fantasy come true. She proves
that a sexy girl of the Sixties can be a
gorgeous woman of the Nineties.

Jim DeRusso

Boston, Massachusetts

Nancy Sinatra is like fine wine. She

just gets better with age.

Rick Hurtle
76212.3605@compuserve.com
Mishawaka, Indiana

What an inspiration to ladies over 50.
Leave it to my favorite magazine to come
up with the pictorial of the year. Let's see
more mature women in the future.

Rick Barnes
Shawnee, Oklahoma

I was eight years old when These Boots
Are Made for Walkin’ hit number one, and
Nancy Sinatra's thigh-high boots stirred
emotions 1 shouldn't have had until I
was in my teens. She proves that age
doesn't define what's sexy.

Olin Jenkins
Mr. Typo@eWorld.com
Columbia, South Carolina

First February’s Women Over 40, then
54-year-old Nancy Sinatra. You guys are
killing me. I may never look at a 20-year-
old Playmate again

John Russo
Farmingville, New York

Older women are in and that's all
there is to it. Please continue PLAYBOY'S
classy look at them.

Jeffrey Whitmore Bittner
Winston-Salem, North Carolina

When I was six, I thought Nancy Sina-
tra was the sexiest woman alive. Thirty
years later, I don’t see any reason to
change my mind. I was thrilled to find
out that I fall in the age range of her dat-
ing requirements.

Lance Bifoss
Ketchikan, Alaska

I believe Nancy Sinatra found the
fountain of youth walking in those boots.
Michael Kolodziejski

Baltimore, Maryland

MUSIC POLL
It was both refreshing and long over-
due to see Daisy Fuentes get some recog-
nition for VJ of the Year (Playboy Music
1995, May). She is one of the most tal-
ented and beautiful women on TV.
Edward Shad
Baldwin, New York

WOMEN
I usually enjoy Cynthia Heimel's col-

umn for its feminist perspective, but

*Falling for Four-Wheel Drive" (May) of-

fended me. She made many sexist as-

sumptions about women and their in-

herent inability ro learn about cars.
Alison Bateman
Northampton, Massachusetts

Anyone with the intelligence ofa пїпє-
year-old can understand the workings of

June 29

Got up.

Sat in the road cleaning fur.

Heard a car coming.

Great speakers.

Bad brakes.

an engine if she makes the effort. If Cyn-
thia Heimel had trouble understanding
the manual on basic auto mechanics, she
should have enlisted the help of an ex-
perienced person—man or woman. The
inability to make an informed decision
about a car's performance is the result of
ignorance, not genetics.

Kristen Cox

coxks@coral.indstate.edu

Terre Haute, Indiana

REPORTER’S NOTEBOOK
I was shocked by Robert Scheer's

opinion of Speaker Newt Gingrich (“Get
Rich With Newt,” May). Nobody thinks
Gingrich is any different from Dan Ros-
tenkowski, and nobody cares. Everyone
knows that politicians aren't honest. Av-
erage Americans didn't vote for the Con-
tract With America. We voted against
those maniacs in the White House.

Bill Meyers

San Jose, California

The outcry against Newt Gingrich is
another indication of the hypocritical at-
titudes taken by all political advocates,
whether liberal or conservative. As a lib-
ertarian, I am less interested in the scan-
dals Scheer presents in his column than
in whether or not the programs that
politicians support are worthwhile.

Danny Gratrix
Tonasket, Washington

MORE ELMORE
I enjoyed your profile of Elmore

Leonard (Pulp Fiction, May), but I won-
der why Lawrence Grobel didn't say
anything about Leonard's publication
credits in your magazine. I happened to
be reading Glitz, which was described
in the article as Leonard's first big best-
seller, when the May issue arrived. Por-
tions of the book had been excerpted in
PLAYBOY, yet there was no mention of this
in the profile. I guess it must be an ex-
ample of your magazine's well-known
modesty.

Tom Jackson

Lawton, Oklahoma

I DREAM OF JEANIE
Its great to see a fresh new face run-
ning a successful organization. I hope to
see more attractive career women like
Jeanie Buss (Dreaming of Jeanie, May) in
PLAYBOY.
James Bowersox
Beloit, Kansas
TRIPLE-HEADER
Your May issue is a three-time winner,
with Jeanie Buss, Playmate Cindy Brown
and Nancy Sinatra all in one month.
Now I wonder what PLaYBoY will do for
an encore.
Mel Perry
Sandy Hook, New Jersey

In noway does Pioneer advocate running over rood critters. Every ost one of us wouk swerve.

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The Art of Entertainment

PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS

STUART SAVES A CARD GAME

Game of the month. It doesn't get any
better than this—especially after a few
drinks. The Feelings Co. explains its
Fishing for Feelings game: “Share feel-
ings while playing the card game of Fish.
This is a wonderful way to help children
learn, describe and share their feelings.
Each card has an animated face to match
the corresponding feeling. When a play-
er collects all four cards with the same
feeling, they [sic] must share a time
when they [sic] felt that feeling to keep
the cards. The player with the most feel-
ings at the end wins. For ages 6 to 106."
Let's see, that means it's probably a real-
ly bad idea to get caught in a game with
Sally Struthers.

Space crunchy. A no-parking sign
posted in a driveway on a congested San
Francisco street: VISUALIZE BEING TOWED.

SPACE FOR LET

Stretching a point: The Miami Herald
recently ran an ad for the Lipton Tennis
Tournament in Key Biscayne that read:
“The Lipton is a lot like South Beach.
Except love actually means something.”

MISSISSIPPI LEARNING

With Republicans firmly in control of
the Senate and House of Representa-
tives, more legislative authority is being
returned to individual states. The con-
sensus is that this will lead to more re-
strictive social policies, so we were pleas-
antly surprised by a progressive step
taken by legislators in Mississippi: In a
unanimous vote, the state house ratified
the 13th Amendment. After 130 years, it
finally voted to abolish slavery.

TOOTIN’ TERMITES

Forget about cow belches or car ex-
haust. Agronomist Corinne Rouland
says global warming receives a big boost
from termite farts. Apparently, every ter-
mite in a tropical forest eats between
three and four tons of organic matter

per acre each year. Fermentation of cel-
lulose in the pesky critters’ digestive
tracts then leads to the release of large
amounts of methane gas.

YURY NATION

For more than 30 years, cosmonauts at
the Baikonur Space Center in Kazakh-
stan (formerly part of the Soviet Union)
have practiced a strange tradition un-
known to the West. However, when
American astronaut Dr. Norman Tha-
gard joined the Russians for a trip to
space station Mir, workers at the Rus-
sian-rented center revealed that all space
cowboys must make a special stop on
their way to the launchpad. Apparent-
ly, the custom was started in 1961 by
Yury Gagarin, the first human in space.
Gagarin stopped the truck taking him to
the rocket and pissed on one of its tires.
Since then, the firing hasn't stopped.

FRUITFUL GESTURE

To underscore his contention that
Oklahoma legislators were “far too up-
tight” about cutting the state budget,
Governor Frank Keating sent the law-

ILLUSTRATION BY GARY KELLEY

makers gift baskets of prunes. It’s a mat-
ter of conjecture whether the dried fruit
produced the necessary and redemptive
flow of legislation.

SKATE DUDES AND DON'TS

When Lodi, California put up signs to
remind citizens of a ban on sidewalk
skateboarding, the town made certain to
display the admonition in terms defiant
thrashers could understand:
and a bandaged leg in a circle with a
slash through it. Underneath the image
is this warning: NO WAY, DUDE.

а board

WHO GIVES MORE HEAD2

A team of Yale neuroscientists has
proved what everyone has known for
centuries: Men and women don't think
alike. When performing certain linguis-
uc functions, men use an area in the left
side of the brain and women use the
same area in the left and right sides. The
data was seized upon by both feminists
and male chauvinists. Some women said
it explains why so many men are half-
wits, while certain men claimed that it
provides a scientific basis for the fact that
women can’t make up their minds.

TONYA'S TRIP UP THE AISLE

In movies it’s called continuity. In
video stores it’s called a con. The X-rated
video enthusiasts at Batteries Not Included,
a monthly zine, point out that there's
something fishy about the infamous
Tonya Harding wedding-night video.
Seems that hubby Jeff Gillooly has a
mustache in an early bathtub sequence
that vanishes during the sexual parts of
the show yet reappears for the final
goodnight kiss. While it's possible the
mustache rubbed off during the oral sex
scene, it's more likely that the sex on the
video did not take place on Tonya and
Jeff's wedding night. Which makes
sense, because that wasn’t rice in her
hand, either.

ICE CHEST

Now tourists will get more than the
cold shoulder in France. A refrigerated

DATA

SIGNIFICA [_SIGNIFICA, INSIGNIFICA, STATS AND FACTS | STATS AND FACTS

FACT OF
THE MONTH
In 1982 the first
ad with a scent strip
appeared, in Chicago
magazine; currently,
according to the
scent sampling com-
pany Arcade Inc.,
500 million scent
strips appear in
magazines each year.

QUOTE

“We ought to
have an FCC rule
that any time any-
body is paid for an
interview, the price should be super-
imposed under their face on the tele-
vision screen. If we were told what
people had been paid for these sto-
ries, we might be able to better judge
their truth or falsity." —WALTER
CRONKITE

FIRE POWER

According to Kingsford Products
Co., percentage of American house-
holds with barbecue grills: 77. Num-
ber of times the grill is used each
year: 60. Percentage of grilling done
by men: 62. Percentage of men who
plan the menu: 25.

HORNET'S NEST

Value of a collection of 1 million
dead wasps, according to the man
who donated it to the American Ento-
mological Institute and then took a
tax deduction: $413,000 (41.3 cents
per dead bug). Value of the collection
according to the Internal Revenue
Service: $68,500 (about seven cents
per wasp).

REPTILIAN TRADE
Number of alligator hides harvest-
ed annually by Louisiana and Florida
trappers and farmers: 162,000.
Largest consumer of finished alliga-
tor products: Japan.

THE BREADBASKET SPREAD.
Recommended daily dose of fat for
an adult, in grams: 65. Grams of fat in
a Reuben (corned beef, sauerkraut,
Swisscheese, Russian dressing): 50; in

a tuna sandwich: 43;
in a veggie sandwich
(avocado, cheese, may-
onnaise): 40; in a
BLT: 37; in a roast
becf sandwich with
mustard: 12; in a
turkey sandwich with
mustard: 6.

CAR TALK

According to a na-
tional survey, per-
centage of women
; who talk to their
| cars: 41; percentage
i of men who talk to

their cars: 30. Per-
centage of women who give their cars
names: 16; percentage of men: 10.

CURING ELEPHANTIASIS
Average number of new people
hired each year by the federal gov-
ernment during the past tvo Repub-
lican administrations: 130,000. Annu-
al number of new hires since Clinton
was elected: 40,000.

CAUTION: SLOW ADULTS

On freeways and rural highways,
the accident rate for cars that go five
to ten miles per hour over the speed
limit: 24 accidents per 100,000 vehi-
cle miles. The accident rate for cars
that go ten to 15 mph over the speed
limit: 51 per 100,000 vehicle miles.
The rate for cars going ten to 15 mph
under the limit: 449 per 100,000
vehicle miles.

MANHUNT
Percentage of American men who
have hunted, fished or camped dur-
ing the past year: 46 (41 million).

HOT HEADLINES

According to a survey of news sto-
ries between 1986 and 1995 by the
‘Times Mirror Center, percentage of
Americans interested in the explosion
of space shuttle Challenger: 80; per-
centage interested in the San Francis-
co earthquake: 73; in the Gulf war:
67; the caning of a U.S. youth in Sin-
gapore: 32; the O.J. Simpson case:
30: the breakup of Woody Allen and
Mia Farrow: 3. — BETTY SCHAAL

bra has just been introduced to the
national market. After the contraption is
chilled in the fridge, next to the frogs’
legs, the material will hold the cold and
give an uplifted, perky appearance.

LOVE ON THE RUN

For more than ten years, Chicago taxi
driver Ellis “Chubby” Miller has cultivat-
ed a reputation as Cupid in a cab. Be-
cause most of his fares are businesspeo-
ple looking for a ride to the airport, he
started compiling a book of photos and
biographies of passengers willing to par-
ticipate for just five dollars apiece. More
than 500 members each have a file in the
portfolio and are allowed to contact
three people. So far, Chubby has
matched a few couples who have gotten
married. As a matter of fact, someone in
our Chicago office—who is the first to
admit she's а hard fix-up—gave it a shot.
Much to everyone's shock, she got mar-
ried. But not for long. Her reaction to
the whole experience? Great—but next
time she’s going to the airport in a limo.

JUDGE MENTAL CASES

If the ОЈ, Simpson proceedings have
undermined your faith in the judicial
system, some recent incidents around
the country will confirm that the courts
are a circus. In Houston, Judge J.R.
Musslewhite received a public repri-
mand for fondling female prosecutors
and drinking evidence in a drunk driv-
ing case. In St. Johnsbury, Vermont,
defendant Chinka Whitekiller Buck
asked permission to conduct a tradition-
al sage-burning to purify the courtroom
before his trial—for arson. And in Nor-
ristown, Pennsylvania, after convicted
drug dealer Howard “Wing Ding” Jones
was indicted again recently, his lawyer
requested $1000 bail and promised
Jones would not flee. According to a
prosecutor, when the judge announced
bail at $150,000, “Jones hit the court-
room door like a fullback.” He was cap-
tured quickly.

PIG PENNED

After $2000 worth of training and a
few weeks on the job, Louis Lee was
fired from the drug unit in Freeport, Illi-
nois. Lee slept through assignments, was
too short to perform his duties and ex-
hibited deplorable personal hygi
Specifically, said Chief Don Parker,
dumped in the squad car.” Lee, a Viet-
namese potbellied pig hired to sniff out
drugs, isn't expected to appeal his dis-
charge. At least someone is cutting back
оп law enforcement pork.

WHEN IN ROM

While in Milan, a colleague was puz-
zled by a store called Flopporia. It turns
out it sells software, but it could as easily
rent the video oeuvre of John Ritter.

It Tastes Good.
It Costs Less.

SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Cigarette
Smoke Contains Carbon Monoxide. срна Moraine 1995
Kings: 16 mg "tar." 1.1 mg nicotine av. per cigarette by ЕТС method.

ROCK

ік 1987 Introducing the Hardline According
to Terence Trent D’Arby seemed to signal
the debut of an international star. The
Florida native, who had risen to promi-
nence in London, was both progressive
and retro. He had a strong, passionate
voice that echoed Sam Cooke's. He had a
lean, exotic look. He gave quirky, enter-
taining and cgotistical interviews. D’Ar-
by became more a cult figure than a star.

Maybe that’s for the best. D'Arby's
fourth recording, the modestly titled Ter-
ence Trent D'Arby's Vibrator (Work/Sony),
is another survey of idiosyncratic soul
(Holding on to You, Surrender), odd rock
excursions (Supermodel Sandwich) and
show-off ballad performances (If You Go
Before Me). Vibrator is not so compelling
as its predecessors. Some of D'Arby's ob-
sessions may have become too familiar.
Still, when his sensibility is focused, he's
as cheeky as he wants to be.

Bad Brains, a pioneering hard-core
band noted for its rapid transition from
guitar-based thrashing to sultry reggae,
have reassembled the band’s original
four-man lineup for God of Love (Maver-
ick). It's the fast, frenetic Justice Keepers
and the searing title track that highlight
this welcome return. — —NELSON GEORGE

With Scarified (Zero Hour) the Dirt
Merchants wrest remarkably dramatic
songs from cacophony. Is this post-
noise? Vocalist-guitarist Maria Christo-
pher offers further proof that these days
girls do this stuff better than boys.

— CHARLES M. YOUNG

Some musicians do their best work in
midlife. Neil Young, George Jones and
Bonnie Raitt have proved that pop mu-
sicians can bring a vibrancy to their
mature work. Bob Dylan's work is less.
certain. A Sixties supernova, he trans-
formed folk and rock by wedding musi-
cal tradition with modern lyrics. Some
people claim that you can still hear bril-
liance in every note he plays. Other peo-
ple resent him for not being the tran-
scendent figure he once was. If you're
under 30, you may wonder what all the
damn fuss is about. Dylan's risky, if i
evitable, MTV Unplugged (Columbia),
should give plenty of ammo to both
sides. Classics such as Desolation Row lack
the old fire or new revelations. But on
new or obscure material (John Brown
and Shooting Star, for example) he finds
his voice. After a perfunctory Like a
Rolling Stone, he ends with a beautiful.
With God on Our Side. И surpasses any-
thing he's done in years. --УІС GARBARINI

The Brooklyn Side (East Side Digital, 530
N. Third St, Minneapolis, MN 55401)

16 by the Bottle Rockets 15 a fine heartland

Terence Trent D'Arby's new image.

D'Arby's Vibrator,
James Carter's Quieistorm and
Guy Clark's Dublin Blues.

rock set that includes some of the best
car songs of the decade (notably 1000
Dollar Car) and an anti-Newt rant, Wel-
fare Music, that demolishes Rush Lim-
baugh in one line. — DAVE MARSH

WORLD MUSIC

What keeps Clannad's Themes (Celtic
Heartbeat/Atlantic), a collection of film
and TV music, from being New Age
fluff A haunting Gaelic earthiness. The
theme Harry's Game, from the movie Pa-
triot Games, is a minor masterpiece. Also
stirring is Maire Brennan's duet with
Bono on Ina Lifetime. --УІС GARBARINI

JAZZ

James Carter's The Real Quietstorm (At-
lantic Jazz) enters the fray over the
meaning of traditional jazz. A 26-year-
old veteran of both Wynton Marsalis’
and Julius Hemphill's bands, Carter
turns in a set of standards, including
Monks "Round Midnight and Jackie
McLcan's A Ballad for a Doll. He plays
these classics straight-up on a variety of
instruments: baritone, tenor, alto and so-
prano saxes, bass clarinet and bass
flute. Carter conveys tremendous re-
spect for these tunes. He never wigs out,
Sixties-style, the way he did on his earli-
er, almost-equally-wonderful Sony/DIW
sets, Jurassic Classics and J.C. on the Set.
Carter's attitude is swinging and free.

Rather than honoring these numbers
with a stiff neck, as other neoclassicists
might do, Carter blows their guts out,
turning jazz back to its roots. His band is
showcased as a rhythmic ensemble. To
clinch the point, he closes the album
with Eventide from Bill Doggett, a
rhythm-and-blues genius. Carter stays
well within himself here, but he’s knock-
ing down conceptual barriers. I haven't
had this much fun with a jazz record in a
long time. —DAVE MARSH

‘The 75th birthday of trumpeter Clark
‘Terry is marked by a slew of new releas-
es and a nationally broadcast showcase
from this month's Chicago Jazz Festival.
Few artists deserve so much attention. In
his native St. Louis, Terry's fluid tech-
nique and sly tone left their mark on the
young Miles Davis. Terry starred in both
the Ellington and Basie bands, mixing
explosive fast-tempo solos with the slow,
teasing blues numbers that he still plays
better than anyone else. Terry started ой
this year with Remember the Time (Mons),
which provides a good, if slightly coy, in-
troduction to his work. But he plays with
more spirit and abandon on the album
Talkin’ Trash (DIW), led by his former pi-
anist James Williams. Trash also features
plenty of Mumbles, Terry's comical scat-
singing alter ego. And on The Second Set
(Chesky), Terry and saxist Jimmy Heath
fire up a lighthearted performance at
the Village Gate in New York, providing
a perfect portrait of a true jazz original.

In Britain, acid jazz deejays have
placed such demand on Blue Note's funk-
ihed late-Sixties recordings that the label
has started. reissuing them under the
rubric of Rare Grooves. The best of the
first batch includes trumpeter Donald
Byrd's African-inspired Kofi and organist
John Patton's soul-snatching Boogaloo,
featuring the wild flights of sax player
Harold Alexander. — МЕН. TESSER

BLUES

Long before Soul Asylum, long before
Prince, there was a thriving music scene
in Minneapolis. Its foremost export was
Bob Dylan, but he wasn't the only major
talent. “Spider” John Koerner, Dave
“Snaker” Ray and Tony “Little Sun”
Glover performed in area coffeehouses,
recorded in various combinations and
made an important contribution to the
folk revival of the early Sixties. Some
three decades after it appeared, their
first album, Blues, Rags & Hollers (Red
House Records), has been reissued, and
it sounds as good to me now as it did
then. As a trio, Koerner, Ray and Glover
brought a raucous, highly rhythmic

A first from Paramount Pictures

STAR

REK

A MUST FOR STAR TREK COLLECTORS) Intricate sculpture thal boldly
re-creales the legendary saga of-the STARSHIP. ENTERPRISE?"
For the first time ever encased іп а crystal-clear dome.

The most famous starship in history dramatically. porirayed. And
every detail—from the luminous moon in the distant solar system—to
the Command Insignia of the U.S.S. ENTERPRISE" on the sculp-
tured base, is authenticated by Paramount Pictures and accurately
and superbly rendered in Tesori* porcelain, a sculptor's blend of
powdered porcelain and resins. Then hand-painted and individually
numbered by hand.

The U.S.S. ENTERPRISE. Just $37.50.” This Officially Autho-
rized specially imported Limited Edition will close forever after 95
casting days. Available only from The Franklin Mint.

SATISFACTION GUARANTEED
M you wish to return any Franklin Mint purchase, you may do so within 30
days of your receipt of that purchase for replacement, credit or refund.

IssuED In A WORLDWIDE LIMITED EDITION.

The only Officially Authorized Collectible of its kind.

Individually
numbered by hand.
Shown actual size of 51/2"
(13.97 cm) in height.
A Limited Edition Fine Art Sculpture.
Individually Hand-Numbered and Hand-Painted.

The Franklin Mint Please mail by August 31, 1995.
Franklin Center, PA 19091-0001

Please enter my order for the U.S.S. ENTERPRISE™ officially authonzed
by Paramount Pictures,

1 need SEND NO MONEY NOW. | will be billed $37.50* when my
sculpture is ready to be sent. Limit: one sculpture per collector.

“Plus my state sales tax and 82.8 ping and handling.

SIGNATURE
NGARS MISS m RN
ADDRESS

CITY/STATE

TELEPHONE (———= а E e

FAST TRACKS

James Carter
The Real Quietstorm 9

Terence Trent
D'Arby
Vibrotor

Bob Dylan
МТУ Unplugged

Koerner, Ray and
Glover
Blues, Rags &
Hollers 6

little Charlie and
the Nighteats
Straight Up 8

Christgau | Garbarini | George
9 9 9 2
6 i
i 8
2 8 Z 9
7 5 4 7

STEAL THIS CD DEPARTMENT: American
Recordings claims that Danzig has
more fans who are shoplifters than
any other band. The record company
says а normal rate of one percent pil-
ferage is expected at retail. Danzig 4
exceeded 15 percent. Only in rock
and roll would something like this be
reported with a measure of pride.

REELING AND ROCKING: Madonna is ex-
pected to film Evita, after all. . . . Joe
Eszterhas is writing a film bio of Otis
Redding. Eszterhas sees either Eddie
Murphy or Wesley Snipes as Redding.
We don't. .. . Brandy, fresh from tour-
ing with Boyz И Men, shot a TV pilot
for a half-hour sitcom called Moesha.

NEWSBREAKS: Look for a new Fleet-
wood Mac LP We don't know about
you, but we are sick of Rumors. . . .
New Yorkers can get subway passes
decorated with artwork from anita
Baker's Rhythm of Love album. She is
the first artist to be honored with such
а сага... . There won't be a Doors box
set for at least a year. Robby Krieger
says the delay is over packaging. “I
want it to be a big box set with every
album in its own jacket. They are talk-
ing about three or four CDs with two
albums per CD.” . . . Suzanne Vega's
next album should be out in early
1996. . . . Doing time the rock-and-
roll way: Dr. Dre got out for a day to
film the video for Keep Their Heads
Ringin’. .. . Don Was plans to produce
live albums for both the Stones and
Bonnie Raitt. . . . If you like Boston, go
see them this summer because there
won'tbe a record. ... This month, ex-
pect to see a three-CD box set of Alice
Cooper material. About half the stuff
has never been out on CD in the U.S.
before. But there won't be an album

of new releases until next year... .
The Frank Zappa catalog, which has
begun to appear in stores, is part of
some 60 discs acquired by Rykodisc.
The releases were prepared from new
masters approved by Zappa and rep-
resent the final versions of his work.
All the artwork has been restored. . . .
In other Zappa news, Ahmet and
Dweezil have a second album, Music
for Pets, coming out. Dweezil says, “We
thought the pet market was as good a
place as any to start trying to sell mu-
sic.” The fruit falls close to the tree. . . .
Get a copy of Ventilator Blues Zine (РО.
Box 1045, Wilkes-Barre, PA 18703)
for a wonderful, rambling interview
with Stanley Booth, who wrote a classic,
The True Adventures of the Rolling
Stones, and the more recent Keith (St.
Martin's Press). In the interview,
Booth regales the editor with anec-
dotes about Mick, Charlie, Brian and
Keith, whom he describes as “an old
fart sitting around throwing ciga-
rettes in the air and catching them
in his mouth.” . . . There are more
platinum albums this year than last.
Van Halen's double-platinum Balance
makes the band the only group to
have all its titles—11—go multiplat-
inum. .. . The Black Crowes like the
way fans һауе responded to invita-
tions to tape concerts. Drummer Steve
Gorman said the first thing he sees
when he comes onstage are mikes
hanging from trees. “People bring
some pretty sophisticated equip-
ment," says Gorman, The band does
have an occasional off night, he says.
“But when you're a fan, you want to
hear that stuff. Гуе never gotten a
bootleg and said, ‘Oh man, that's
really terrible.” — BARBARA NELLIS

approach to the acoustic blues that effec-
tively captured the essence of their for-
bears. Ray, in particular, had a haunting
voice and a mastery of the 12-string gui-
tar that placed him in a direct line from
Leadbelly and Blind Willie McTell.
Gloyer was an ace with the blues harp,
and Koerner brought a delightful sense
of humor to his pounding rags. Buy it,
then write letters to Red House (RO.
Box 4044, St. Paul, Minnesota 55104)
demanding they reissue everything else.

Rare Performances 1960-1979 (Vestapol/
Rounder) is a videotape by Lightnin’
Hopkins. His droning, open-string bass
lines and ingenious riffs in the upper
register helped to define Texas blues.
The humorous lyrics rate with Chuck
Berry's and his stage presence with
Louis Armstrong’s, but nobody else
sounds like him. — CHARLES M. YOUNG

The titular leader of Little Charlie and
the Nightcats is guitarist Charlie Baty,
whose light touch and licks owe as much
to jazz and Western swing as they do to
sweet home Chicago. The concept mas-
ter is front man Rick Estrin, who sings,
does saxophone impressions on har-
monica, and writes songs with pizzazz.
The Nightcats' sixth and strongest al-
bum for Alligator, Straight Up, will startle
cynics convinced the white blues circuit
is a refuge for know-nothings. On wise-
ass novelties such as You Gonna Lie and
Me and My Big Mouth, Eswin recalls
Willie Dixon and Leiber and Stoller. On
sharp-swinging workouts like I Could Deal
With It and the witty instrumental Geron-
tology, this California boogie band rocks
the house as if Louis Jordan were still on
the hit parade. -—ROBERT CHRISTGAU

FOLK

On Dublin Blues (Asylum), Guy Clark’s
grave whiskey-bred voice is somewhere
between country and folk (that is, be-
tween Waylon Jennings and Bob Dylan).
His songs have narratives as compelling
as their plain melodies. The doser, Ran-
dall Knife, should grab those people who
never met their fathers. —DAVE MARSH

R&B

I'm not going to claim that Hi, the
other great Memphis label, is the equal
of Stax Volt. But ГЇЇ swear on a stack of
ribs that Hi Times: Hi Records, The R&B Years
will give you more bang per disc than
any of Stax’ monster compendiums.
‘True, many of the tracks on this set are
by Al Green. But over producer Willie
Mitchell’s sweet jazz inflections Ann Pee-
bles, Syl Johnson, Otis Clay and O.V.
Wright recorded music that deserved far
better than the bottom of the black mu-
sic charts. Now you can give them their
propers. —ЕОВЕКТ CHRISTGAU

STYLE

SWELL DOPP KITS

Developed by Charles Doppelt around 1919, the Dopp kit
($45, pictured top) is a leather toiletry case designed to stow a
man's grooming essentials neatly. Today, the Massachu-
setts-based Buxton Co. is the exclusive pro-
ducer of the Dopp kit, though the term is
often used generically for similarly
styled cases. Donna Karan's contem-
porary version (bottom, $165), for
example, is made of black water-
proof rubber with a zip top and
an inside zippered compart-
ment. Italian designer Naza-
reno Gabrielli uses stain- and
scratch-resistant olive canvas
trimmed in leather to create a
sleek kit ($138) with no pockets
inside or out. Nautica went for
color and durability: Its sporty
navy and yellow kit (center, $34) is
made of а special waterproof nylon
and has two zippered outside pockets
for extra storage. And for something
that closely resembles the original
Dopp, check out Eddie Bauer's full-
grain, dark-brown leather kit ($60) with
an easy-to-clean, water-resistant nylon lin-
ing, or Ghurka's Hold All ($195), a supersoft
chestnut leather case with a leakproof vinyl liner and an inside
zippered compartment for stowing secret stashes.

THE BOXER REBELLION

Although traditional woven boxer shorts will
never be considered passé, knit looks (which
hit about midthigh) have become quite the
rage. Why? Because they're comfortable
under suits yet beefy enough to be worn
solo as gym shorts. A few cool looks to
consider include Tommy Hilfiger's cot-

ton knit boxers in heather gray and
white with a signature flag on the waist-
band. Emporio Armani offers two basic
“midway” looks in black and white that are
fitted and have waistbands that match the
black or white color of the shorts. The
ecofriendly knit boxers in the Guess Green
line have a globe logo on the waistband
and are colored with natural dyes. For
those who favor patterns, Perry Ellis offers
yarn-dyed knit boxers in gray with plum, navy
or hunter green stripes. Stripes also show up
on Polo by Ralph Lauren boxer briefs. And for
below-the-belt humor, Joe Boxer offers styles
featuring banana or hot dog prints.

HOT SHOPPING: CARMEL, CALIFORNIA

Redwood trails and cliffside beaches define the scenic appeal
of Carmel-by-the-Sea, a small village where shopping is big

business. If you are
CLOTHES LINE

there August 18-20,

catch the vintage car

festival at nearby Off the set of ABCTV's Lois & Clark,
leading man Dean Cain likes to
dress quite casually. “Mostly, 1 wear

Pebble Beach, which
culminates with the
exciting Concours

d’Elegance. On the
Beach (Ocean and
Mission): А cutting-
edge surf store fea-
turing its own line of
beachwear. 9 Pacific
Canvas & Cargo (San
Carlos between 5th
and 6th): Distinctive
handwoyen shirts,
plus rugged, quality
luggage. э Wings

Nike sweatpants and
Doc Martens," says
the former all-Ameri-
can football player,
who also swears һу
Zanella's slacks ("They
are comfortable and
cool") and says he's

a "Calvin Klein T-shirt
junkie.” Our Man of
Steel admits he's really
tough on his clothing.
"| absolutely destroy

America (Dolores
and 7th): An avi
specialty store with
hand-carved model
airplanes and great
bomber jackets. e
Khakis (3744 the
Barnyard): Cool ca-
sual clothes for men.

r it." Although he's been
ion linked to a bevy of

Cain won't discuss the
ladies in his life—except one. “I’m
really proud that my mother graced
the pages of р.лувоү in the late Six-
ties.” We definitely agree that Su-
perman has one super mom.

SCENT OF A MAN

Some women love a hint of scent on their
men but don't want to be overpowered.
For subtle appeal, consider a stick de-
odorant or antiperspirant lightly scent-
ed with a designer fragrance. Donna
Karan's DK Men offers antiperspirant
protection warmly scented with citrus,
suede and tobacco. If you prefer a cooler
scent, look for evergreen-inspired antiper-
spirants such as Giorgio Beverly Hills’ Red
for Men, and Égoiste Platinum by Chanel
with essence of geranium and tree moss. A
nondrying, alcohol-free deodorant stick is
another option. We like the light soap-and-
water fragrance of Guy Laroche's Horizon,
Calvin Klein’s Escape for Men and new
Nightfiight from Joop. And if you're a guy who
likes power at his fingertips, check out Brut's Ac-
tif Blue dear deodorants and antiperspirants іп į
new click-control packages. Using one is like È
working the TV remote—only it smells better. ;

SOT YF- L E

CASUAL BELTS IN

Webbed skateboorder styles; 1" to 1%" widths;

Studded conch belts; straps trimmed in heavy

square and rectangular shapes

STYLES suede ond ungrained leathers metal hardware; 2" to 3° (and more) widths
COLORS Brawn or black; tan luggage tones; Burgundy; white; fluorescents; moterials
taupe or olive drab that scream “This is fake skin”
n— Military styles; matte gold or silver;

Large, averdone cowbay styles;
goofy-lacking product logos

Where & How to Buy on poge 155.

MAN’S GUIDE DIAMONDS

ARE YOU one of the TWO MILLION
victims of engagement ring anxiety?

@ Relax. Guys simply are not supposed to
know this stuff. Dads rarely say “Son, let’s talk
diamonds?

Ө Bur it's still your call. So read on.

© Spend wisely. It's tricky because no two
diamonds are alike. Formed in the earth millions
of years ago and found in the most remote
corners of the world, rough diamonds are sorted
by DeBeers’ experts into over 5,000 grades
before they go on to be cut and polished. So be
aware of what you are buying. Two diamonds of
the same size may vary widely in quality. And if
a price looks too good to be true, it probably is.
@ Learn the jargon. Your guide to quality and
value is a combination of four characteristics
called The 46s. They are: Cus, not the same as
shape, but refers to the way the facets or flat
surfaces are angled. A better cut offers more
brilliance; (0/27, actually, close to no color is
rarest; Clarity, the fewer natural marks or
“inclusions” the better; Carat weight, the
larger the diamond, usually the more rare.

Ө Determine your price range. What do you spend on the one woman in the world who is smart enough
to marry you? Most people use the feo months’ salary guideline. Spend less and the relatives will talk. Spend
more, and they'll rave.

© Watch her as you browse. Go by how she reacts, not by what she says. She may be reluctant to tell
you what she really wants. Then once you have an idea of her taste, don’t involve her in the actual
purchase. You both will cherish the memory of your surprise.

@ Find a reputable jeweler, someone you can trust to ensure you're getting a diamond you can be proud
of. Ask questions. Ask friends who've gone through it. Ask the jeweler you choose why two diamonds that
look the same are priced differently. Avoid Joe’s Mattress & Diamond Discounters.

Ө Learn more. For the booklet, “How to buy diamonds you'll be proud to give’ call the American Gem Society,
representing fine jewelers upholding gemological standards across the U.S., at 800-341-6214.

© Finally, think romance. And don’t compromise. This is one of life’s most important occasions. You want
a diamond as unique as your love. Besides, how else can two months’ salary last forever?

Diamond Information Center
Sponsored by De Beers Consolidated Mines, Ltd., Est. 1888.
A diamond is forever. De Beers

WIRED

ALL'S FAIR

If you are tired of being just another
name and number in cyberspace, get
ready to dial up the Interactive Worlds
Fair. An online service scheduled to de-
but this fall, the Fair lets you explore
computer-rendered pavilions, exhibits,
pubs and conference rooms in the form
of animated characters. Instead of sign-
ing on as Joe 75471, for example, you'll
interact as a robot or a non-Barney
tyrannosaur—and we're not talking sim-

ple cartoons. Inspired by the environ-
ments in games such as Doom and Myst,
the Fair immerses you in a world of
smoothly scrolling 3-D landscapes. ‘The
video game-like interface (stored on
CD-ROM) will feature a number of at-
tractions, which you reach by way of a
space shuttle, jet pack and other futuris-
tic modes of transportation. Sites include
a science pavilion, comedy and music
clubs and a charming Parisian café. At
the latter, you'll be able to admire the art
on the walls or pick up a virtual java and
join other subscribers at a table for some
real-time chat. The Interactive Worlds
Fair is a joint venture of California-based
Landmark Entertainment Group and
Worlds Inc., a software developer with
several Hollywood investors, including
Steven Spielberg. Costs are expected to
be between $10 and $20 for the CD-
ROM, with connection fees compara-
ble to those of other commercial on-
line services.

INTERACTIVE TV
GETS REAL

AT&T is one of the first compa-
nies to deliver on the promise of
interactive television. Its $349
Home Center System, an elec-
tronic box that links the TV to
phone lines, brings a host of
smart new functions to the
tube. At its most basic level, the
Home Center is an on-screen
digital telephone answering
machine. You scroll through
22 your list of messages with the

supplied universal remote control, select
опе and listen as it plays back through
the built-in speaker. The device also al-
lows you to pay bills and to receive cus-
tom weather and traffic reports,
sports scores, stock quotes,
news—all for about $6 per
month. Banking services similar
to those offered at ATMs will be
ülable for an additional fee, as
the ability to send and re-
ceive faxes and e-mail

JOCKS IN A BOX

Life Fitness, the world’s largest
manufacturer of computerized
workout equipment, has devel-
oped a multimedia kiosk with
IBM that may give personal
trainers a run for their muscles.
The Lifecenter Interactive Train-
ing System is debuting in health
clubs nationwide this summer as
a free member service. Using a touch-
screen monitor with an easy-to-follow
graphic interface, the Lifecenter allows
you to view video demonstrations of
proper exercise movements and to select
body parts from an anatomical illustra-
tion for a list of related exercises. But the
most impressive feature is an electronic
link that enables the kiosk to communi-

conference calls, the

А spoce-age device for corporate climbers, Polycom's Sound Station (pic-
tured here) is a two-way speakerphone system with an integrated tele-
phone keypod, three microphones and digitolly tuned speakers. For

cate with the club’s Life Fitness circuit
training and cardiovascular gear. After
you logon with an ID card, the Lifecen-
ter automatically sets the weight levels,

repetitions and durations as you move
from machine to machine. Details on
complete sets and routines, including
calories burned, are downloaded and
stored in the kiosk. When you are
finished with your workout, you can re-
quest a printout of the day’s results or
one that charts your progress over time.
Read it and weep.

$995 device provides 360 degrees of cover-

оде, allowing several people to talk simultaneously without
clipping off paris of the conversation. (Standard speaker-
phones are capable of transmitting only one voice ot
о time.) The Sound Stotion also features digital

signol processing technology that re-
duces echoes опа distortion опа
has о mute button and an
RCA jack for a
= tope recorder.
% For one-
to-one tele-
phone con-
versations,
Cincinnati
Microwave's
900-mega-
hertz Escort 9020
is о wise choice. In ad-
dition to offering eight times
the range of a standard cordless
telephone, the second-generation
Escort has a variety of features that
help protect privacy —nomely, 100
chonnels, 100,000 digitol security
codes ond Spread Spectrum, a tech-
nology that eliminates annoying
interference from other wireless devices.
The price: obout $300.

MULTIMEDIA
REVIEWS & NEWS

ON CD-ROM
"Тһе baseball strike ended. So what? The
baseball simulation Hardball 4 filled the
gap nicely. With its realistic arcade
graphics, commentary by Al Michaels
and game updates that give the match-
ups the feel of the broadcast booth, the
game has enough bells and whistles to
keep you occupied for hours. In addi-
tion to handling the duties of batter,
fielder, pitcher, base runner, statistician,
trainer, manager and owner, you are
faced with wind shifts, temperature
changes, falling humidity and fatigued
pitchers. You have the option of accept-
ing a default team, assembling your own
or installing a separate disc that includes.

CYBER SCOOP

Intersection ‘95, a two-doy omal-
‚m of electronic entertainment and
live alternative music, is scheduled
ta hit Chicago, New York, Philadel-
phia and other major cities this fall
caurtesy of the Lollapalooza arga-
nizers. Attractions will include CD-
ROM and video game play, virtual
reality demos and online service
previews. The ticket price: 515.

When Microsaft's new 32-bit oper-
ating system debuts later this
month, you can be up and running
by picking up a copy of CRT Multi-
media's Easy Tutor Learn Windows
'95. The $40 CD-ROM provides
navigation infarmation and offers
comparisons to Windaws 3.1—but
it won't point out the bugs.

the major leaguers’ data from last sea-
son. Once your team is in place, you can
play pickup games or commit to 13-, 81-
or 162-game schedules. Hardball 4, like
its predecessors, remains batter-friendly,
with scores of 15-3 or 21-7 not uncom-
mon. And the computer can be a quirky
opponent, which is
why we suggest you
turn a second joy-
stick over to a friend
(the game supports
modem play) and
send the digital logic
to the showers. (By
Accolade, for DOS,
$60. MLBPA Players
Disk, about $25.)
Simply put, De-
scent kicks ass. It's
the first among doz-
ens of Doom clones to surpass the com-
puter-game engineering standard estab-
ed by Doom's creator, Id Sofiware.
The key is the disc's amazing 3-D envi-
ronment. Players pilot ships for the Post

Play ball!

Terrain Mineral Corp. through the
mines of Lunar Base I, rescuing hos-
tages and battling renegade robots, ver-
tigo and one another. While Descent's
realistic landscape takes some getting
used to, it's easy to control your ship.
(We customized our keyboard controls
and were whipping through the mines
in minutes.) When you get bored blast-
ing robots, Descent takes head-to-head
death-match play to а new level. As
many аз 32 players can hunt one anoth-
er, cooperate in cleaning out the mines
or go to war in teams. Throw some spec-
tacular graphics and a killer soundtrack
into the mix and you get the standard by
which other 3-D action games will be
judged. (By Interplay for DOS, $40. Also
available as shareware on the Interplay
BBS at 714-252-2822 as well as on
the Internet at Interplays Web site
hup://www.interplay.com or ftp.cdrom.
com:/pub/descent.)

ONLINE
You're working and you need a break.
Instead of destroying Doom demons
again, feed your mind online. The Inter-
net is filled with information covering a
variety of topics. There are World Wide
Web sites replete with graphics and in-
teractive Opportunities, or, if your sys-
tem isn't equipped with a browser, you
can visit file transfer protocols. Here are
some places to start. ® The Infinite
Goof: The Tom Robbins Home Page:
references every sacred word put to pa-
per by Robbins, plus cool book-cover
GIFs and access to related newsgroups
and mailing lists (http://coos.dart
mouth.edu:80/~cygnus/robbins.
html). е Hyperreal: This FTP centered
on the rave scene lets you download arti-
cles, images and games. It also includes
discussions on the latest mind-altering
substances and the cultivation of cyberia
(hyperreal.com). ® Gizmos: If you love
Mystery Science Theater 3000, this FTP is
packed with facts (and gossip) on the
popular show. (The site is cloverdeaf.
com; the directory is pub/mstk3k/
gizmos.) ө Rec.autos.tech: A car-lovers’
directory with infor-
mation on суегу-
thing from auto re-
pairs to safety advice
(rtfm.mit.edu/
pub/usenet/
rec.autos.tech). e
The Unit Circle: An
eclectic foray into ex-
perimental music,
futuristic societies
and the true mean-
ing of humankind.
All that and comic
book reviews, too (hitp://www.etext.
org/zines/Unit Circle). ® Factsheet Five,
Electric (hutp://www.well.com): Accessed
via the Well home page, this is the defini-
tive index to nearly every online zine

available—complete with addresses, de-
scriptions and reviews. ® Learning to
navigate the thousands of networks and
hundreds of thou-

World Wide weirdness on the Net

sands of computers that constitute the
Internet is enough to make anyone pull
the plug on the PC. Fortunately, we've
found several books that simplify surfing.
yet won't put you to sleep with a lot
of technical language. Random House
Electronic Publishing's Net books are
among the best. Dubbed the “ТИ Guide
to cyberspace,” this series of directories
by Michael Wolff & Co. of New York in-
cludes Net Guide (a look at 1500 Internet
games, mailing lists and newsgroups),
Net Chat (a list of places for practicing
pickup lines), Net Trek (online attractions
for Trekkers), Net Money (personal
finance sites) and the forthcoming Net
Sports and Net Music. Check out the in-
formative and funny Internet Insider from
Osborne/McGraw-Hill. This overview of
the I-way presents information tabloid-
style with great tacky photos and art.
And finally, Best of the Net, from IDG
Books, is the perfect compendium of hot
spots and advice for newbies. Written in
the same humorous tone as the publish-
еге For Dummies book series.

DIGITAL DUDS

Flash Traffic: We like the plot:
You're on FBI agent who has ta
prevent a nuclear blast from flot-
tening Los Angeles. But the
scenery-chewing actors and chop-
py audio/video reproduction on
this CD-ROM are a bomb.

Gone Fishin’; Take а pass ot
catching digital bass—unless you
don't mind paying abaut $50 for a
CD-ROM simulation that’s even
slower than the real thing.

See what's happening on Ployboy's

Нате Page at http://www.playboy.com. 23

WHERE & HOW TO BUY ON PAGE 155,

ТКАУЕТ,

BOOK IT YOURSELF

Squeezed by airline commission caps, travel agents are start-
ing to charge for booking flights and organizing complicated
travel plans. So computer-literate travelers are making their
own reservations via easy-to-use online services. The Official
Airline Guides, for example, let you scan schedules and fares
on Motorola's Envoy, a small personal wireless communicator.
All you do is key in search parameters—dates, departure city,
destination, desired times, carrier, seating class, etc.—and
OAG give you the best flights, lowest fares, seat availability and
reservation numbers. Travelers can also access OAG on com-
mercial online services such as Compuserve, Dialog, the Dow
Jones News/Retrieval and Genie. As with the Envoy setup,
you can check flights and fares for any airline, plug in your
frequent-flier number, choose seats and indicate whether
you want to pick up the tickets or have them sent to you
(overnight if nec-
essary). For real
OAG junkies,
there’s Flight Disk,
a Windows soft-
ware program that
is updated month-
ly with complete
airline schedules.
You can use it to
hook directly to
OAG's database for
a list of current
fares. The cost is
$269 a year. EAAsy
Sabre and Worldspan Travelshopper, two reservation services
that allow you to make flight, hotel and rental car arrange-
ments, are online. You can also check out Tourism Info Inter-
net on the World Wide Web at http://www.tkz.fhrpl.de/tii/
tiie.html. You'll find direct links to international airlines, rail
services and hotels as well as to the U.S. State Department
Travel Advisories and the CIA World Factbook—to ensure safe
round-trip flights, no doubt.

NIGHT MOVES: BERLIN

Six years ago this November, the party geared up in Berlin as
the Wall came down. But that hasn't altered the social life of
Berliners, who have always treated every night as New Year's
Eve. And East Berliners are now feverishly making up for lost
time. The result: The party continues. Berlin has nearly 7000
restaurants, bars and cafés and most stay open late. In fact,
the locals live for Feierabend, or evening celebrations. There is
little distinction between bars and cafés in Berlin and no strict
hours. Begin with an early-evening drink at one of the out-
door cafés such as the Aschinger, situated along the Kurfürst-
endamm—which has miles of luxury hotels, cafés and night-
clubs. Move on to Café Oren (on Oranienburgerstrasse). ‘The
owner isa former Israeli paratrooper who insists on playing
Hebrew folk music. Then check out Café Hegel (on the
Savignyplatz), which is run by a Russian exile for Rus-
sian exiles. The vodka flows freely here and it's а great
pick-up spot. Clubs include the Bunker (24-25 Al-
brechtstrasse), a former Nazi bunker that rocks un-
ul dawn. The E-Work (43 Wilhelmstrasse) opens at
11 р.м. on Fridays and midnight on Saturdays. It
was a power station and is now a techno dance
palace. Delicious Doughnuts Research at 9 Rosen-
thalerstrasse (no, it doesn't serve doughnuts) opens
Tuesday through Sunday at ten p.m. The music is
great and so is the high-energy dance floor.

WHERE & HOW TO BUY ON PAGE 155.

— GREAT ESCAPE ——
POST RANCH INN

Thirty miles south of Carmel in the heart of woodsy Big
Sur is the Post Ranch Inn, a romantic 30-unit cliffside lux-
ury resort. Open a bottle of local wine, settle back in your
private stone-and-tile indoor whirlpool for two and drink
in the view. If you opt for a Coast House you're treated to.

a panoramic view of the coastline. Tree Houses are built
on stilts that put you in the redwoods. Fach accommoda-
tion has a wood-burning fireplace and huge bed with
feather comforter for serious snuggling. No automobiles
are allowed beyond the parking lot on the resort's 98
acres, which also include a candlelit restaurant and bar, a
spa and lap pool and lots of walking trails. Prices begin at
$265 per night, and various room packages are available.

ON THE GO

Grundig's new digital world receiver, the easy-to-use YB-305
(pictured here), is a pint-size shortwave radio with 30 memo-
ry presets and direct key-in. Its weight (19 ounces) is as low as
its $130 price. * Keep your valuables safe at the beach, the
pool, the club or even in a hotel room. Sentry has just intro-
duced the Portable Lock'R, a high-impact plastic combination
safe that's not much bigger than a paperback. The Lock'R fea-
turesa tough aircraft cable that can be attached to a stationary
object, such as a fence. The $20 model will hold a wallet and
keys. The $30 size is large enough for a cellular phone, etc. e
Minolta has released the Freedom Zoom Explorer, the world's
smallest 35mm lens shutter camera with a

2.5x (28mm to 70 mm) lens. Price:
about $300.

1965 PONTIAC GT

Officially authorized by
Pontiac Division

Shown smaller than
actual size of 8% in length.

Believe it or not: All photos depict our
incredibly detailed replica—not the actual car!

A meticulously enginee
metal replica — hand-as:
over 150 precision parts.

It was a wolf in sheep's clothing...a clean АП the major components are die-cast

looking two-door hardtop that could — metal. Each replica is individually

in a heartbeat — turn into a ferocious, polished by hand to a showroom finish.
brutally fast muscle car. A “Tri-Power”

optioned GTO, with its 389 cubic-inch No-risk — satisfaction guaranteed.

V-8 engine breathing through three two- The 1965 Pontiac GTO is available

barrel carburetors, pushed out a street- exclusively from the Danbury, Mint at just
pounding 360 horsepower. Now, you сап $94 50, payable in three monthly install-
acquire ап authentically detailed replica ments of $31.50. You can order at no risk
of this legendary muscle car. because your satisfaction is guaranteed.
Over 150 scale parts go into making this То order, send no money now. Return
handsome replica in the large 1:24 scale. your Reservation Application today!

Authentic dials and gauges.
8.79 gen. © 1884 MBI

“RESERVATION APPLICATION Send |

по money
now.

Тһе Danbury Mint
47 Richards Avenue ” Norwalk, CT 06857

1965 PONTIAC GTO

Yes! Reserve my 1965 Pontiac GTO. 1 will pay for my replica in.
three monthly installments of $31.50*. Ifnot completely satisfied State
with my replica, I may return it within 30 days for replacement or
refund. j

ы Signature.
*Plus any applicable sales tax and 81.50 shipping and handling per installment, Er EEE)
Fontisc. GTO, and Body Design are trademarks of General Motors Corporation and used under license: Allow 4 to 8 weeks after initial payment for shipment, 145ЗҒРҮ1

‘(Pies print nary)

Zip.

MOVIES

By BRUCE WILLIAMSON

FILM STUDENTS should consider Living in
Oblivion (Sony Classics) required view-
ing. Writer-director Tom DiCillo’s inside
view of a cinematic work-in-progress is
simultaneously hair-raising and hilari-
ous. No doubt inspired by DiCillo's own
experiences in making a movie (Johnny
Suede with Brad Pitt), Oblivion stars Steve
Buscemi as Nick, the harried director
whose woes on the set would drive a
man to justifiable homicide. Nick’s hav-
ing a fling with his neurotic leading lady
(Catherine Keener), who casually tum-
bles into bed with the egomaniacal lead-
ing man, Chad Palomino (played with
preening malice by James LeGros). Even
the cameraman (Dermot Mulroney) is a
stud with attitude. Every caterer, gaffer,
assistant and bit player contributes to the
bedlam. Nothing goes right that could
possibly go awry. While Oblivion looks
improvised, it isn’t. DiCillo has this com-
edy of errors under control at all times,
quite aware that the insane process of
getting a movie in the can is probably a
lot more fun than being a retail clerk or
insurance adjuster. ¥¥¥

A leisurely air of self-indulgence per-
vades Smoke (Miramax), written by nov-
elist Paul Auster and directed by Wayne
Wang (who made The Joy Luck Club).
Some highly accomplished players head
the cast. Harvey Keitel is Auggie, man-
ager of a Brooklyn cigar store where the
action begins—enter William Hurt as a
widowed author with a writer's block,
Stockard Channing as Auggie's old
flame, newcomer Harold Perrineau as a
teenager suffering an identity с! and
Forest Whitaker as the teen's long-lost
dad. Upstaging them all, Ashley Judd
stops the show with her stint as Chan-
ning's hostile runaway daughter. The
performers beautifully light up what
could have been just smoke. ¥¥'/z

Two homicidal housemaids, siblings
seething with sexual and social unrest,
made big news in 1933 when they mur-
dered their employer and her daughter
ina French town. Director Nancy Meck-
ler recaps that true tale in Sister My Sister
(Seventh Art Releasing), adapted by
Wendy Kesselman from her own stage
play (Jean Сепег drama The Maids told
the same story). Here, Jocly Richardson
as Christine and Jodhi May as Lea por-
tray the sisters who seem at first to be
perfect servants. They scream and act
deranged only in their attic room—until
one wintry day when Madame Danzard
(Julie Walters) and her ungainly daugh-

May, Richardson: Scary Sister act

Brothers break their vows,
players have their day and
killers take their toll.

ter Isabelle (Sophie Thursfield) discover
the truth about the girls upstairs. The
Danzards die for it, bludgeoned to death
in a chilling climax. The performances
of all four are flawless, though Richard-
son's tense instability and Walters’ stern
superiority keep Sister My Sister bristling
like a disaster just about to happen. This
minor claustrophobic thriller delves
into woman's work with a compulsive
vengeance. ¥¥¥

The beautiful young special-effects
makeup artist who sees a bloody murder
being committed on a movie set in
Moscow can hear but can't speak. What
she sees in Mute Witness (Sony Classics) is
a snuff film in progress, and a pair of evil
Russian ruffians decide she must not live
to tell about it. Marina Sudina, in her ti-
tle role as Billy, gives a riveting perfor-
mance. The silent innocent stalked by a
Killer is a surefire formula, and writer-
director Anthony Waller brings it off
with breath-stopping skill. (At the dli-
max, watch for a cameo by one of Eng-
land's top-rung stars.) Visually inven-
tive, made in Russia and often over the
top, Mule Witness is short on logic but
long on exotic local color. ¥¥¥

°
Winner of the 1995 Sundance Festi-

val's top award, The Brothers McMullen (Fox
Searchlight) is a bright seriocomic study

of the mating game. Edward Burns—in
an auspicious triple-threat feature de-
but—writes, directs and plays a key role
as middle brother Barry, one of three
Irish Catholic lads from Long Island
caught between carnal urges and church
dogma. Barry is noncommittal, insisting
“1 don't believe in true love" until he
meets irresistible Audry (Maxine Bahns).
The eldest, Jack (Jack Mulcahy), is mar-
ried but fooling around, and kid broth-
er Patrick (Mike McGlone) has been li
ing with a Jewish girl, even though it’s
against his religion. All the brotherly guy
talk has a zing of conviction as well as
an underlying romantic sweetness. Obvi-
ously, Burns has been there and done
that, and he gives the movie a bracing
and authentic shot of rich Irish Ameri-
can flavor. ¥¥¥'/2

All the chemicals, fumes and additives
that threaten human life are the fuel that
propels Sefe (Sony Classics), writer-di-
rector Todd Haynes’ austere follow-up
to his first feature, Poison. This time
Haynes examines the mysterious “envi-
ronmental illness” of an affluent Los
Angeles woman named Carol White
(Julianne Moore), who suddenly seems
allergic to her elegantly antiseptic home,
her family and everything else about her
tidy 20th century world. She ultimately
winds up not cured but resigned, living
in a plastic bubble at one of those costly
New Age retreats where Californians go
to get away from it all. Safe, in the end,
gets nowhere, having tackled a problem
without a solution. The movie's bleak
modern look would soon become tire-
some except for Moore, an actress so
good she can make a terminally boring
character quite bearable. She helps you
forget that Carol, in a real world without
movie-star gloss, is the kind of woman
whose laundry list of baffling and bewil-
dering symptoms might put her best
friend to sleep. ¥¥

The title of Pushing Hands (CFP Distri-
bution) is taken from а t'ai chi exercise—
it represents a man pitting his own
strength against fate. Hands is the first
film in Chinese writer-director Ang
Lee's trilogy, obviously released now be-
cause both subsequent movies (The Wed-
ding Banquet and Eat Drink Man Woman)
were Oscar nominees. This more pre-
dictable but promising practice run fea-
tures Mr. Chu (Sihung Lung), a former
tai chi master who moves from Beijing to
New York to live with his son Alex (Bo
7. Wang) and Alex’ all-American wife
Martha (Deb Snyder). Plainly, the con-
flict between old Chu and his daughter-

ба; ) >.
BUMP TONIC
Pour: ©

Squeeze lime wedge o

and drop into glass.

0
ОШО ант ЕНЕ RUMP poe
OTTLE.

ОЕЕ САМЕВА

When Jeremy Piven, 29, shows up
on a movie screen, things start
popping. He was the dentist who
seduced Sarah Jessica Parker's
newlywed sister in Miami Rhapsody
and is an unemployed stockbroker
energized by “an excitement disor-
der” in the TV sitcom Pride & Joy.
He will soon be back on the big
screen with Sean Young in a spoof
titled Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde. “1
play a pig who wants to have sex
with her. She burns my face off
and electrocutes me, but I won't
die.” Piven jauntily describes it as
“a lot of fun.”

His parents still operate the Piv-
en Theater Workshop in Evan-
ston, Illinois, where Jeremy grew
up onstage. By the age of nine, he
was improvising with fellow little-
league thespian John Cusack
("We're close friends to this day”)
and admiring Piven-trained teen-
agers, including Rosanna Arquette
and Aidan Quinn. He later de-
parted Drake University to study
acting in England and elsewhere.

Nowadays he keeps apartments
in New York and Los Angeles and
takes time out for the New Crimi-
nals, a Chicago theater group he
runs with Cusack. At work in Man-
hattan on a movie called Laying
Low, he seems solidly booked. “АЁ
ter this, Гуе got a job to do in Heat
with De Niro and Pacino. Then ГИ
start a comedy called Nickel and
Dime with Bill Murray.”

Of medium height and devilish-
ly handsome, Piven j i
receding hairline: "In my early
20s, I decided it didn't matter that
I wasn't a pretty boy" He has al-
so claimed that all he needs to
be content is a girl, a dog and a
couple pairs of clean underwear.
"Well, I have the underwear, even
clean socks. But no dog, no girl.
Don't have time. Women are like
cactuses. You have to care for
them to make them flower. I can't
even keep a plant."

in-law will be resolved in time by a lone-
ly widow named Mrs. Chen (Lai Wang).
"That the time passes pleasantly is a trib-
ute to Ang Lee's talent for bridging the
culture gap with good humor and cHort-
less style. УУУ

А compelling true story unfolds іп
Bandit Queen (Arrow Releasing). Made іп
India, director Shekhar Kapur’s film is
the saga of a lawless national heroine
named Phoolan Devi (vividly portrayed
by Seema Biswas), who surrendered to
the police in 1983 after an amazing ca-
reer in crime. At the age of 11, as а hap-
less low-caste child, Devi is married off to
a brutish man and forced into sex and
slavery before she escapes—only to be
arrested, kidnapped and raped until she
herself emerges as the leader of a ruth-
less bandit gang. Robin Hood-style, De-
vi plunders villages but forbids harming
women and children. Her most celebrat-
ed exploit is the systematic murder of
the entire male population of one com-
munity in revenge for harboring the
rival thugs who murdered her lover,
Vikram (Nirmal Pandey). More shock-
ing than artful, a slice of life far fiercer
than fiction, Bandit Queen is a grabber
from beginning to end. УУУ

Maybe one has to be a French-film
buff to appreciate Grosse Fatigue (Mira-
max). Actor Michel Blanc, a top Parisian
celebrity, wrote and directed this movie
in which he plays himself—and also por-
trays his own double—in а comic rumi-
nation on the price of fame. Inexplica-
bly, Blanc's odd, seemingly improvised
movie won an award for best screenplay
at the 1994 Cannes Film Festival. Carole
Bouquet, Philippe Noiret and other fa-
miliar French performers appear as
themselves. At one juncture, Noiret
strolls with Blanc along the deserted
Champs Elysées, bemoaning that the
moviegoing public seems to prefer
American-style hype and violence to typ-
ical French fare. After seeing Grosse
Fatigue (freely translated as “dead
tired”), there's very little reason to won-
der why. ¥¥

When it comes to high-tech adventure
and excitement, it's hard to beat Crimson
Tide (Buena Vista). Kicking off the sum-
mertime spate of action attractions,
director Tony Scott's underwater epic
co-stars Gene Hackman and Denzel
Washington, who go head-to-head over
the command of a U.S. nuclear subma-
rine that's armed to initiate World War
Three with Russia. Is some of the plot
predictable? Yes. But happily, nothing
gets in the way of the nonstop testos-
terone rush. ¥¥¥/2

MOVIE SCORE CARD

capsule close-ups of current films
by bruce williamson

Bendit Queen (See review) She's Indi-
an, abused, ruthless and wanted. ҰҰҰ
Braveheart (Reviewed 6/95) Swinging
a sword and donning a kilt, Mel Gib-
son strikes a blow for Scotland. ¥¥¥'/2
The Brothers McMullen (See review)
"Three Irish Catholic siblings strut
their stuff and tell all. We
Burnt by the Sun (6/95) Oscar's Best For-
eign Film is a prime drama about a
Russian family under Stalin. УУУУ
Crimson Tide (See review) Hackman
and Washington make waves in a
submarine. wu
Crumb (6/95) A fine artist’s hellish fam-
ily fully documented. КУЛ
Erotique (Listed only) Is this what
women want? Two movies about hat-
ing men. plus one (Wonton Soup)
about a pair of hetero athletes. УУ
Forget Paris (7/95) Crystal and Winger
not happily-ever-after. yyy
Grosse Fatigue (See review) Tired
French look at French film folk. ¥¥
The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls
in Love (7/95) Uncloseted. yy
Living in Oblivion (See review) All the
fog generated on a movie set. | ¥¥¥
Love and Human Remains (7/95) An ur-
ban jungle teeming with available
singles. yyy
Mute Witness (See review) She stumbles
onto a murder and cannot tell. УУУ
Panther (7/95) How those rebellious
black cats were declawed. wu
The Perez Family (7/95) Happy landing
in Miami for Cuban boat people. ¥¥¥
Picture Bride (6/95) From mail-order
marriage, a Hawaiian love song. ¥¥¥
The Postman (6/95) Touching Italian
tale of a poet and a peasant. ¥¥¥//2
Priest (5/95) A gay Catholic church-
man uncovers some disturbing
habits. УУУУ
А риге Formality (7/95) Polanski vs. De-
pardieu іп a Gallic duel of wits. УУ
Pushing Hands (See review) А t'ai chi
veteran learns the American way. ¥¥¥
Red Firecracker, Green Firecracker (6/95)
Chinese lovers’ blowup. yyy
Safe (See review) Wealthy wife has it
all, but she’s allergic to it. YY
Sister My Sister (See review) Grisly tale
of two housemaids' revenge. wy
Smoke (See review) Hurt and Keitel
weave lazy circles in the plot ¥¥/2
Wigstock: The Movie (7/95) Dolled-up
drag queens in а big parade. ¥¥//2
Wild Reeds (7/95) Back in the Sixties,
French youth trying touchy-feely. ¥¥¥
Wings of Courage (7/95) A 3-D sam-
pler—and as big as all outdoors. ¥¥'/z

¥¥ Worth alook
y Forget it

УУҰУ Don't miss
¥¥¥ Good show

VIDEO

ШЕЛІ

In front of the VCR,
screen veteran Kirk
Douglas confesses a
short attention span:
“If a movie doesn't
grab mein the first 15
minutes,” he admits,
"it's back to the video
store.” A recent rent-
al that rated an overnight stay was the
1992 Melanie Griffith thriller, A Stranger
Among Us. "1 watched it twice,” he raves,
“and had tears in my eyes both times. It's
а gem." Of his own 82 films, Douglas rec-
ommends Lonely Are the Brave ("an envi-
ronmental classic”) as best of the lot,
though he never watches himself on the
screen. Instead, he prefers checking out
the works of Pacino (Scent of a Woman),
Chaplin (The Gold Rush), Brando (Last Tan-
go in Paris) and, of course, son Michael.
"1 consider Falling Down Michael's best
work,” boasts Dad, “but | particularly like
Disclosure. Mainly because it echoes the
Biblical experience of Joseph and
Potiphar's wife." Who knew? — — мио STINE

OLD GOLD

Now in its third year, Fox Video's Studio
Classics Collection mines Twentieth Cen-
tury's film vaults for jewels (a consumer
fan club helps choose the titles). While
tried-and-true flicks have been picked in
the past (Laura, How Green Was My Val-
ley), this year’s winners are decidedly off-
beat. They include:

The Rozor's Edge (1946): In post-World
War One Paris, idealist Tyrone Power
chooses loafing over high society sweet-
heart Gene Tierney. Anne Baxter won
an Oscar as the hometown girl turned
derelict widow.

The Diary of Anne Frank (1959): Essential
post-Schindler viewing, this is the original
170-minute version of the Oscar-win-
ning drama not seen since its premiere.
Shelley Winters shines.

Leave Her to Heaven (1945): The original
fatal attraction, with head case Gene
Tierney so possessive of hubby Cornel
Wilde, she drowns his disabled half
brother. Now, that’s a bitch.

Titanic (1953): If you have that sinking
feeling, it's because this Clifton Webb-
Barbara Stanwyck effort doesn't come
close to the British-made A Night to Re-
member. Deep-six it.

The House on 92nd Street (1945): The Nazis
want our atomic secrets in this trend-set-
ting spy thriller based on a true story. It
was filmed at the actual New York loca-
tion and features a Crying Game twist.
Compulsion (1959): Orson Welles has a

slick cameo as Clarence Darrow defend-
ing thrill killers Leopold and Loeb
(Dean Stockwell and Brad Dillman). To-
day, he would be negotiating the TV
movie rights.

No Highway in the Sky (1951): Transatlantic
air traveler James Stewart is a scientist
convinced the plane’s wing is doomed
from metal fatigue. Marlene Dietrich is
first-class as a believing co-passenger.
Anastasia (1956): Impostor or grand
duchess? Ingrid Bergman won an Oscar
for her big comeback after being ostra-
cized by Hollywood for having Isabella
Rossellini out of wedlock. One of home
video's most wanted.

How to Steal a Million (1966): Audrey Hep-
burn enlists Peter O'Toole to pinch a bo-
gus statue from a supposedly impreg-
nable Paris museum. Not a work of art,
but a lot of rowdy fun.

Roxie Hart (1942): A roaring Twenties
dancehall girl (Ginger Rogers) uses her
gams not to dance but to wow a jury ina
murder case she’s trumped up to boost
her career. —DONALD LIEBENSON

LASER FARE

Of the four new titles released by Co-
lumbia TriStar under the Best of the
West sombrero, Bite the Bullet (1975) is the
most welcome. Writer-director Richard
Brooks concocted a brilliant scheme for
a turn-of-the-century oater: Seven cow-
boys—and one cowgirl (Candice Ber-
gen)—compete іп a 700-mile horse race.
The action, shot in Colorado, Nevada
and New Mexico, remains gripping in

VIDEO
COLLECTION
OF THE MONTH

He gave us killer pi-
geons, voyeur sleuths,
necktie murderers
and a solid argument
against showering

alone. Now from

MCA/Universal

comes the Alfred Hitchcock Collection,
14 classics from Britain's inimitable master
of suspense. Included in the perpetually
rewindable batch are Vertigo, Psycho, Torn
Curtain, The Birds, Frenzy, Rear Window,
Topaz, The Man Who Knew Too Much and
six others. All tapes repriced at $14.98 each.

the widescreen format. And while the
same technical excellence holds for the
other three films іп the set—Alvarez Kelly
(1966), MacKenna’s Gold (1969) and
Мо) Dundee (1965)—none has Bile's
bi . Gen X scenarists eager to cap-
ture a taste of rock angst before Kurt
Cobain and Courtney Love should
check out Voyager's Criterion Collection
edition of sid and Nancy (1986), the per-
plexing love story of Sid Vicious and
Nancy Spungen. Included among the
wove of extras: interviews with stars
Gary Oldman and Chloe Webb; Eng-
land’s Glory, a 30-minute making-of doc-
umentary; and Love Kill, an homage
to the ill-fated couple by Clash legend
Joe Strummer. —GREGORY P FAGAN

Nobody's Fool (Newman saars as crusty small-town ne'er-
do-well making amends with san, bass, World), Ready to Wear
(Altman flushes out fashion biz phonies in all-star ramp
ramp; no Player, but stylish skewering—and what а finale).

By DIGBY DIEHL

Ок THE half dozen recent books about
CIA traitor Aldrich Ames, the best docu-
mented is Betrayal (Random House), by
three New York Times reporters, Tim
Weiner, David Johnston and Neil Lewis.
Betrayal provides riveting details about
how Ames passed CIA secrets to the
KGB and how the FBI finally nailed
him. The Times team presents its account
amid questions about the effectiveness of
the CIA's internal policing, squabbling
between the FBI and the CIA, and the
role of spying in the post-Cold War era.

The case against Ames exploded in
February 1994. Over a period of nine
years, he had brazenly handed thou-
sands of pages of CIA documents—usu-
ally originals—to KGB agents. In return,
he was paid more than $2 million. As a
direct result of Aldrich Ames’ treason, at
least a dozen Soviet and eastern Euro-
pean agents—virtually the entire CIA
counterspy network—were executed or
“disappeared.”

Who was this master counterspy? He
was a loser, an alcoholic incompetent,
the sort of guy who would have been
fired from any self-respecting corpora-
tion. Year after year, his CIA superiors
gave him poor performance ratings.
Year after year, they promoted him into
more sensitive positions. Ames may have
been bright enough, but he was fre-
quently blotto after lunch. He was repri-
manded for walking out of his office and
leaving his safe open. Early in his career,
he left a briefcase of sensitive documents
in a New York City subway car. He got so
drunk at meetings with his KGB han-
dlers that he couldn't remember the
ume of their next meeting. Had he not
been so dangerous, he would have been
a comic figure. Weiner, Johnston and
Lewis place most of the responsibility for
the failure to spot Ames with the CIA's
peculiar culture, which they describe as
“a cross between Yale’s Skull and Bones
society and the Post Office.”

At the same time that Betrayal berates
the CIA's laxity, it points out the value of
the Agency's Cold War mission. With
half the agents, the CIA has outwitted
the KGB on almost every front since
1947. The Ames case is a glaring excep-
tion. This tough, fair-minded assessment
is impressive—exceptional in the annals
of spy literature for not citing a single
anonymous source.

Robert Ferrigno writes power-packed
thrillers that exist on some plane of
southern Californian hyperreality. The
latest, Dead Man's Dance (Putnam), is
filled with sharp-edged scenes of vio-
lence, confrontation and sensuality. This
time, Quinn, the hard-driving investiga-
tive journalist familiar to Ferrigno's

Betrayal: The story of Aldrich Ames.

Cloak-and-dagger treason,
Michael Jordan’s levitation
and the Navy Seals at war.

readers, searches for the killers of his
stepfather. He must also come to terms
with a separation from his wife and
daughter. As Quinn closes in on the two
psychopathic hired guns, they methodi-
cally add to the body count. Ferrigno
drives his narrative rapidly, pushing the
level of excitement higher.

Athletes rarely speak in terms of mys-
ticism, but according to In the Zone: Tran-
scendent Experience in Sports (Penguin) by
Michael Murphy and Rhea White, on
the field they often experience moments
of ecstasy, altered perceptions, out-of-
body sensations and extraordinary pow-
ers of strength. It may sound wacky
when the authors suggest that Michael
Jordan practices levitation, On the other
hand, anyone who has attempted to sink
a long putt can understand that Arnold
Palmer seems to use psychokinesis to will
a ball into the hole. Who hasn't been
amazed to watch a quarterback throw
опе perfect pass after another?

In this updated version of their 1978
book, Murphy, co-founder of the Esalen
Institute, and White connect these un-
usual feats with Eastern mysticism. They
suggest there may be something more at
work than coincidence and hyperbole.

The courage and daring of the U
Navy Seal teams have made them mil
tary legends. Created in 1962 as an ex-
tension of the World War Two Underwa-
ter Demolition Teams, these elite units
specialize in antiguerrilla warfare. In
Hunters and Shooters: An Oral History of the

U.S. Navy Seals in Vietnam (Morrow), edit-
ed by Bill Fawcett, 15 of the tough guys
talk about combat. It includes some of
the most chilling, vivid, ground-level de-
scriptions of war ever written.

These battle memoirs are sometimes
raw and rambling, but their candor and
remarkable level of detail give them
power. With impressive precision, the
soldiers recall specifics of weaponry, ter-
rain, fighting action and friendship
Frank Thornton, the most decorated
Seal of the Vietnam war, remembers the
unreality of being told while he was on a
mud bank in Vietnam in the middle of a
moonlit battle that Apollo 11 had just

3 landed on the moon. Fawcett, a field cu-

rator for the UDT/Seal Museum in Fort
Pierce, Florida, allows the men to tell
their own war stories, and they do so
with an unvarnished directness.

Robert Timberg's The Nightingale’s Song
(Simon & Schuster) examines the inter-
connected lives of five Vietnam-era
Naval Academy graduates—John Mc-
Cain, James Webb, John Poindexter,
Robert “Bud” McFarlane and Oliver
North. The war brought them into vari-
ous political roles in Washington and
three of them into the Iran-contra affair.
McCain spent five and a half years in
North Vietnamese prison camps and be-
came а U.S. senator. Webb wrote several
novels about his Vietnam experiences
and served as Secretary of the Navy un-
der Reagan. Poindexter, McFarlane and
North—all with distinguished military
service records became primary fig-
ures in Iran-contra as members of the
National Security Council.

Timberg argues that by remaining
supportive of Vietnam veterans and by
defending the war, Reagan sang the
nightingale's song that allowed these
men to regain their pride and their voic-
es. Part biography, part history, this is a
provocative analysis of modern events.

BOOK BAG

Being Frank: My Time With Frank Zappa
(California Classics), by Nigey Lennon
An intimate memoir of the remarkable
musical iconoclast includes vintage pho-
tos and a discography.

Rage to Survive: The Etto James Story (Vil-
lard), by Eta James and David Ritz:
James celebrates her 40th year in show
business with a new CD and this gutsy
chronide of her struggles.

The Burglar Who Thought Не Was Bogart
(Dutton), by Lawrence Block: Burglar
and antiquarian bookseller Bernie Rho-
denbarr's latest caper involves a dead
guy, a pretty woman and all of Bogie's
movies. If there is a more perfect beach
book, we haven't read it.

EVERY THREE

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FITNESS

verybody knows that the road to a

honed body and rosy health is paved
with pasta. The message has been loud
and clear for more than two decades: Eat
less fat and more carbohydrates. A high-
carb diet, say nutrition experts, is espe-
cially important for athletes. Consume
lots of whole grains, go easy on the pro-
tein and banish fat from the training
table. Fitness experts call it "carbo-load-
ing” and explain convincingly how it
gives us a competitive edge

But according to Dr. Barry Sears in his
provocative new book The Zone, the ex-
рег are wrong. Want to shed flab? Live
longer? Kick butt on the track or basket-
ball court? Then avoid pasta, bread and
so-called energy bars. “Carbo-loading,”
Dr. Sears insists, “is ап athlete’s worst
nightmare. If you want to perform bet-
ter, eat more fat.”

Sears’ advice flies in ıhe face of the
conventional wisdom, but recent studies
support his radical theories, and his cre-
dentials are solid: Formerly a researcher
at MIT, Sears holds 12 medical patents
in the field of cancer therapy. His dietary
advice has been credited with contribut-
ing to eight gold-medal performances at
the 1992 Olympics in Barcelona and
with helping Stanford University's men's
swim team win three consecutive nation-
al championships.

To appreciate Sears’ theories, it helps
to understand a bit of physiology. When
you eat spaghetti or a dinner roll or any
other carbohydrate-rich food, your body
converts it into sugar in the blood-
stream. Your brain relies on this sugar as
its primary energy source, and much of
the rest is squirreled away in the liver
and muscles for future use, in the form
of glycogen.

Your muscles burn these stores of car-
bohydrate during exercise. They can
burn fat instead, but fitness experts have
long insisted that glycogen is the pre-
ferred, high-octane fuel.

Sears disagrees. Fat, he argues, is a far
more efficient fuel than glycogen, mostly
because there's a lot more оҒ оп hand.
And carbo-loading is not just ineffective,
it’s downright harmful.

Sears points out that it is physiologi-
cally impossible for your body to pack
away much carbohydrate. No matter
how vigorously you carbo-load, no more
than about 2000 calories can be stored
as glycogen. “When you are exercising

By JON KRAKAUER

CARBO-
UNLOADING

hard,” he says, “you'll burn up your
body's entire supply of stored carbohy-
drate in about two or three hours. As
you run out, the brain is forced to com-
pete with the muscles for the remaining
glycogen,” and when that's gone, every-
thing grinds to a painful halt.

Unlike glycogen, your body's supply
of fat is almost inexhaustible. “Even a
very skinny person carries about 50,000
calories of stored body fat," says Sears.
The only problem with burning fat in-
stead of glycogen is that it has to get
from your fatty tissues into the blood-
stream for the muscles to be able to use
it—a complicated process that’s easily
short-circuited by eating carbohydrates.

When you stuff your face with lin
guine, say, or any other carbohydrate, it
causes a rapid rise in blood sugar. In an
effort to put a lid on this sugar rush, the
pancreas secretes a flood of insulin into
the bloodstream, producing a backlash
effect. This is why you crash and feel like
taking a nap after a big meal. More sig-
nificantly, insulin is an extremely power-
ful hormone that mobilizes the body to
convert the new surplus of sugar into fat.
“Even though carbohydrates are fat-
free,” explains Sears, “excess carbohy-
drates end up as excess fat.”

Worse yet, all that insulin surging
through your veins signals your body to

put its fat stores under lock and Ке
making it impossible to burn fat as fuel.
175 a triple whammy: Eating too much
carbohydrate generates new fat, makes it

possible for your body to shed the fat
it already has and robs your muscles of
their main energy source.

According to the highly respected
Pritikin diet, 75 percent to 85 percent of
your daily calories should come from
carbohydrates, ten percent to 15 percent
from protein and five percent to ten per-
cent from fat. Sears believes that such a
high concentration of carbohydrate will
make your insulin soar and over the
long run “may be dangerous to your
health.”

Sears recommends a diet much higher
n protein and somewhat higher in fat.
“I know it’s shocking,” he acknowledges,
“but you have to eat fat to lose fat. You
have to stop thinking of food in terms of
calories alone and start thinking of it as
a mechanism for controlling the flow of
powerful hormones.” Just as carbohy-
drate triggers the release of insulin, pro-
tein and fat trigger the release of other,
opposing hormones that neutralize the
effect of insulin.

In the diet Sears promotes, each meal
should have roughly equal proportions
of protein and carbohydrate, plus a dol-
lop of monounsaturated fat (this “good”
fat is found in such foods as olive oil,
peanuts and avocados. Bad fat comes
from egg yolks, dairy foods and most
deli meats). Equally important, no single
meal should total more than 500 calo-
ries. If you get hungry between meals,
you should eat snacks that maintain the
same strict protein-carb-fat ratio.

Sears’ dict runs contrary to current
nutritional dogma, but the latest re-
search into the relationship between in-
sulin and obesity reinforces Sears’ views.
Although the jury's still out, he's starting
to win converts. "| was skeptical at first,”
concedes Skip Kenney, coach of Stan-
ford’s national-champion swim team.
“But we've had amazing results. I'm a
believer now.”

“There's nothing radical about my
ideas,” insists Sears. “My diet is actually
quite similar to one your grandmother
might recommend.” It simply takes us
back to the good old days, before carbo-
mania swept the land.

МЕМ

I twas evident before the Persian Gulf

war that Saddam Hussein was willing
to deploy the chemical weapons the U.S.
had helped supply him during his long
war with Iran and his fight with the
Kurds. Not publicly known was the ex-
tent of his resources in this area.

In 1991, when United Nations inspec-
tion teams investigated Iraq's stockpiles
of chemical and biological weapons, here
are a few of the things they found: 75
tons of sarin (the deadly nerve agent
used in March's Tokyo subway attack—
half a milligram of sarin can kill a per-
son), 60 to 70 tons of tabun (another
nerve agent), 250 tons of mustard gas,
28 Scud missiles carrying sarin, 370 acri-
al bombs with mustard gas, 30 binary-
chemical ballistic warheads containing
nerve agents and 6000 empty nerve-gas
containers (the type used to fill 122mm
rocket warheads).

It should be noted that in operations
Desert Shield and Desert Storm, we
didn't merely send our troops against
Hussein's potentially annihilating chem-
ical and biological weapons in the field.
Against the adyice of many experts, we
also bombed to smithereens the Iraqi
warehouses and bunkers where those
lethal materials were stored, throwing
tons of noxious fumes into the atmo-
sphere and exposing our own people to
extended low-level doses of nerve gases
and perhaps to biological weapons. And
that scenario may have provided Hus-
sein with the last laugh: It is possible that
in bombing him, we poisoned ourselves.

А recent Duke University study fund-
ed by Ross Perot indicates that an inter-
action between anti-insect compounds
and anti-nerve gas pills may also have
contributed to the cluster of ailments
known as the Gulf war syndrome.

Platoon commander Kimo Hollings-
worth is positive he was poisoned. Hol-
lingsworth was in great shape before he
left for the Middle East. An active-duty
artillery officer, he was deployed to the
Persian Gulf with the 2nd Marine Divi-
sion in December 1990.

On the first day of the ground war, 70
kilometers е Kuwait, an artillery
round exploded over his position with a
soft popping sound (possibly from a
chemical or biological weapon). On the
third day of the war, Hollingsworth and
his men were ordered to wear their pro-
tective clothing during a full biological

By ASA BABER

A VERY
DIRTY WAR

and chemical alert. They observed dead
animals on the battlefield—and the pres-
ence of dead insects on the corpses of
those animals (a sign that chemical or bi-
ological agents might have been em-
ployed). Throughout the war, the chem-
ical sensors of American troops sounded
continually.

“Numerous Persian Gulf war veterans
witnessed an overhead fireball explosion
in the vicinity of Al Jubayl, Saudi Ara-
bia during the morning of January 20,
1991,” reports Hollingsworth. “The De-
partment of Defense first denied the in-
cident happened. Then it explained that
the explosion was a sonic boom. Finally,
the DOD explained that what the veter-
ans experienced was a cloud of ammonia
from a nearby industrial facility.”

In May 1991 Hollingsworth returned
to the U.S. In September 1991 he went
back to the Persian Gulf with another
artillery battery. He returned home in
March 1992 and was discharged in May
1992. His final military physical exam
declared him perfectly fit.

But then his health—and the health of
some of his peers—began to deteriorate.
“Last August,” Hollingsworth reported
in February 1994, “I talked with my first
sergeant from the Persian Gulf war. He
is now deathly ill and not expected to
live much longer” In addition, Hol-

lingsworth himself had serious health
problems.

“Late in 1992,” Hollingsworth says, “I
became Ш with a violent case of the flu.
My symptoms included coughing up
dark-green sputum, chest pains, aching
joints, low-grade fever, headaches, blur-
ту vision, cold sweats, frequent urination
and chronic fatigue.”

Hollingsworth's condition worsened,
and in May 1993 he wentto the Veterans
Affairs hospital in Washington, D.C. for a
physical exam. A doctor there told Hol-
lingsworth that coughing and chest
pains are normal in some people. A so-
cial worker suggested to Hollingsworth
that his condition was mental, that he
had post-traumatic stress disorder.

Hollingsworth contacted his own spe-
cialist, was hospitalized for 12 days and
was given intravenous antibiotics. His
condition slowly improved. Today, still
on oral antibiotics. he estimates he has
recovered 85 percent of his health. “Pm
опе of the lucky ones,” he says.

There are a number of “unlucky
ones.” An estimated 50,000 Persian Gulf
war yeterans are symptomatic today (in-
cluding 10,000 men and women on ac-
tive duty) and their numbers are increas-
ing. Their families are affected, too, with
numerous reports of illnesses, miscar-
riages and birth defects.

Uncle Sam, the ball is in your court.
Your record in these sorts of situations
has not been honorable. Remember how
you exposed thousands of military men
to nuclear explosions after World War
‘Two to test the effects of radiation on un-
protected troops (and then denied that
there was any problem with those exper-
iments)? Remember your slippery rhet-
oric concerning Vietnam veterans and
the disastrous medical effects of Agent
Orange?

There are two main reasons you are
playing games with vets again, Uncle
Sam. First, the prospect of having to pay
for the continuing health costs of thou-
sands of Persian Gulf war veterans is a
major problem. Second, to admit that
our forces were vulnerable in the Gulf
war is to acknowledge that we are basi-
cally unprepared for а 21st century war.
That's why you are stonewalling the peo-
ple who served you.

Don't play it again, Sam

Cuervo Gold =
formal y. | N
instructions: Ё |

[Се 9
Shoot the co, (тюй
Bite me lime, ® Be |

ÍP терсе ЕСЕТ

Practice makes perfect.

NM HP PRIMO TEQUILA.

THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR

Whenever one of my former girl-
friends wanted to have sex, she knew
how to get me going. She would walk up
to me, unbuckle my pants and pull them
and my boxers down to my ankles. The
rush of suddenly finding myself half
naked always gave me an instant erec-
tion. I had a bad experience with my
new girlfriend, however, when we were
in bed making out and I decided to pull
off her panties. She got a little miffed at
me, though she didn’t stay angry and we
still made love. But I'm curious about
why she didn't seem to feel the same ex-
citement that I always have when some-
one strips me down.—D.A., Rutherford,
New Jersey.

Many women enjoy the erotic rush of hav-
ing their clothes hit the floor in a matter of
seconds. It’s a safer bet, however, that your
girlfriend enjoys the slow tease. What’s the
hurry, after all? The next time you make
love, dedicate yourself to gelting her panties
їп a knot. First, run your index finger under
the elastic at her hips and thighs, back and
forth, up and down, just to give her the idea
that—zip!—she might be naked in an in-
stant. Lift the material away from her wet
labia, finger her, then hiss her gently through
the material. Move on to her inner thighs
After a few minutes, begin to pull down her
panties. But wait, you're getting ahead of
yourself, Pull them back up and reassure her,
“Not quite yet.” Continue teasing her: John
Gray, author of “Mars and Venus in the
Bedroom,” offers this advice on how to touch
a woman: “God gave a woman a circular
body to remind a man to move his hands and
fingers in circles instead of getting right to
the point” and “А man should remember that
it is not what he does but how long he takes
to do it that ensures a woman's fulfillment.”
When she starts begging you to let her get
naked, pull her panties into the crack of her
ass, then touch and stroke her buttocks and
thighs. Then, perhaps, just maybe, since
she’s been good and you have a major hard-
on, slide her panties off and use your tongue
to explore her clitoris and labia.

Ive had herpes for years but rarely read
about the virus in the papers. Are scien-
tists any closer to finding a cure or vac-
cine?—D.G., Washington, D.C.

A cure—no. A vaccine—possibly. 1f re-
search continues to go well, scientists say
there could be an FDA-approved vaccine on
the market within a few years. Herpesvirus
is a challenge because it travels via nerve
cells, hides in the ganglia at the base of the
spine and thrives on mucosal surfaces—two
spots that provide natural buffers against
antibodies. At least four companies are
working on vaccines, and one has reached
the final phase of testing, involving 1850
noninfected volunteers who claim multiple

sex partners and 400 couples in which one
partner has herpes. The genetically engi-
neered vaccine consists of fragments of the
virus that fool the body into responding with
antibodies, but can’t reproduce themselves to
fight back. That probably won't keep the
virus from entering an uninfected person,
but it may strengthen the immune response
enough to prevent outbreaks. In other words,
a booster shot wouldn't keep you from getting
herpes—but if you did, you would never ex-
perience symptoms, That doesn’t exactly ease
our minds, and the best bet for herpes suffer-
ers is still to avoid sexual contact during out-
breaks and to use condoms otherwise. For
more information, phone the American So-
cial Health Association’s Herpes Hotline,
919-361-8488.

Ham 24 years old, just out of college and
living at home. A few weeks ago I went
out to dinner with my mother. During
the meal I noticed that our very attrac-
tive waitress kept looking at me. We e:
changed glances through the evening,
and it was quite obvious she was interest-
ed. I have always been very shy, and al-
though I have dated several women in
the past, I still don't feel comfortable ap-
proaching a woman I don’t know; I nev-
er know what to do or say. Any advice? —
E.V., Coatesville, Pennsylvania.

There aren't many people who feel com-
fortable approaching someone they don't
know, even to ask the time. But you're not
working from scratch: The waitress’ linger-
ing eye contact is a classic sign of interest.
(Its also a classic sign of disgust, but we're
assuming you can tell the difference.) Many
men have taken the leap of faith with far less
evidence of any mutual curiosity; many men
have also been shot down. If there were no

ILLUSTRATION BY PATER SATO.

mystery or daring in the process, there would
be little excitement in hearing her say, “Pd
love to.” Here's a plan: Lose the mom. Visit
the restaurant again when it’s not bustling
with other customers. Carefully select a seat
(“You did a great job when I brought my
mother for her birthday—will you wait on
те again?") and strike up a conversation
when your waitress-in-waiting takes your or-
der: “Whet do you recommend? Do you like
working here?” If she replies with grunts,
back off. If she doesn't, keep talking when she
brings your food and bill. Slight physical
contact, smiles, probing questions or friendly
conversation can indicate that a person feels
comfortable with you. If you get those vibes,
ash her out for coffee. If you've said more
than two words to her by this point, it won't
appear to come out of the blue. Finally, if she
licks her lips slowly, drawing her tongue sen-
sually back and forth while moaning softly
and rubbing her thigh, order dessert.

Has there ever been any research on
why some people are considered beauti-
ful and others are not? I've been attract-
ed to many types of women—slim, tall,
short, with long faces, round faces, etc —
but find it curious that ncarly everyone
agrees that supermodels such as Carol
Alt or Cindy Crawford are gorgeous.—
D.R., New Orleans, Louisiana.

Well, if you want to get technical about it:
Researchers have found that even across dif-
ferent races and cultures, men generally pre-
fer women with large pupils, widely spaced.
eyes, high cheekbones, a small chin and up-
per lip, a generous mouth and shiny, smooth
skin, A psychologist at the University of
Louisville took the measurements further af-
ter asking 150 male students to rate 50
women's faces. Among the faces deemed pret-
ty, each eye was one fourteenth as high and
three tenths as wide as the face, Ше позе took
up no more than five percent of the face, the
distance from the bottom lip to the chin was
one fifth the facial height and the distance
from the middle of the eye to the eyebrow was
one tenth the facial height. Surprisingly,
when the faces of models are superimposed
on that image, they don't match up. Instead,
the composite resembles someone’s mom.
(You're drop-dead gorgeous, Cindy, but
you're no madonna.) Women, meanwhile,
consider a man's maturity and dominance
with cues such as thick eyebrows, a strong
jawline, prominent chin and cheekbones and
a small nose. If your features don't match
that scientific standard, don't despair: You
probably have a great personality.

А friend says that he warms up his
stereo amplifier for about a half hour be-
fore he uscs it. Supposedly, this makes
his stereo perform better. It sounds like
a bunch of hooey to me. What do you

PLAYBOY

k?—PL., San Jose, California.
‘Listener” magazine recently polled five
home audio pros on that question, and most
agreed that giving your amp a half hour to
rub the sleep from its eyes is a sound idea.
Several went a step further, suggesting that
audiophiles keep their amps, preamps and
compact disc players powered constantly to
avoid the wear and tear of going from cold
shutdowns to warm humming and back
again. Leaving your system on has some
drawbacks, such as unexpected electrical
storms that could damage your components.
And who knows what freak accident might
occur? One pro recalled a customer whose
amp unexpectedly dumped its entire output,
causing a speaker to catch fire. If you plan to
be gone Jor days at a limo, shut down and
unplug everything. Finally, don't place too
much faith in the cozy vibrations theory of
music appreciation—your state of mind
probably has as much to do with how your
stereo sounds. As Victor Campos of the stereo
component maker NAD explained in “Lis-
tener”: “If you're well rested, you'll perceive
sound in a сенат way. If you've had three
martinis. you'll perceive sound differently. If
someone says that the tree in your front yard
has to be cut down, and it'll cost you $890 to
do it, things will sound different.” In the last
case, turn off your stereo before you sell it.

Ibm planning a trip to Asia this fall.
Since I am not a seasoned air traveler,
do you have any suggestions to make my
hours on the plane more comfortable2p—
N.H., Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

No matter what you take along to fill the
time, you don't want to spend 18 hours
wearing light jeans or bumming blankets, so
choose loose-fitting clothes and take a
sweater in case it gets chilly or you need a
makeshift pillow. Add a pair of slippers with
rubberized botioms and a change of socks
and you'll be the envy of fellow travelers.
Pack а few toiletries—toothpaste and tooth-
brush, contact lens solution, a washcloth, a
small bar of soap—to freshen up after din-
ner. Drink liquids once an hour or so, but
avoid caffeine and alcohol (they aggravate
jet lag). We suggest an inflatable neck pil-
low, a deck of cards and two or three dispos-
able books, including a thriller and a guide
to your destination. (Some friends have tak-
еп their laptops and all the games they've
never had time to master.) Finally, be sure to
stretch occasionally and take a walk around
the plane. It'll keep you [rom getting stiff—
and you never know who you might meet.

Two years ago 1 came home from work
and began talking with our 18-year-old
babysitter. Somehow we got onto the
topic of hidden cameras. I joked that she
should make a video for me and without
a blink she disappeared into the spare
bedroom, where we keep a video cam-
era. She stayed there with the door shut
for a few minutes and then announced
she was done. I watched the tape that

35 night and immediately felt guilty. She

had stripped for the camera. My wife
found the tape three months later in my
sock drawer (1 hadn't watched it again).
Naturally, I'm now in deep shit. How
can I explain why I didn't stop our ba-
bysitter from making the video?—O.E.,
Tacoma, Washington.

Why didn't you? Our guess is thal you
were titillated by the fact that a young
woman would perform a private dance for
you, and that you weren't likely to come
across a tape that hot again. Tell your wife
the first part; keep the second to yourself.
Your wife feels betrayed because she real-
izes—as you should —that you subtly solicit-
ed the video and sat idly by when the babysit-
ter closed the door to the bedroom. If it was
just a weak moment, did you also have 90
other weak moments when you opened your
sock drawer every morning without throw-
ing the cassette ош? Depending on how an-
gry or upset your wife feels—and how reck-
less you are—hint that it would really turn
you on to have her tape over the video with
ап erotic performance of her own. By the
way, how much did that babysitter charge?

In January, the Advisor responded to a
question by saying, “Pumping up can
blow you out, and we would never recom-
mend vacuum tubes for any penile activ-
ity.” But what about vacuum therapy for
impotence? My doctor prescribed a vac-
uum tube a few years ago that has really
helped.—R-T., Los Angeles, California.

Medical vacuum tubes prescribed to treat
impotence are another matter, naturally (we
were thinking of dubious novelty items that
promise to expand your penis to the size of a
tree branch). Vacuum therapy, which is pre-
scribed for 100,000 men annually, involves
slipping the penis into a plastic cylinder,
where a pump creates a partial vacuum that
aids blood flow into the penis and creates an
erection. The erection can be maintained
safely for up to 30 minutes with a tension
ring. Among other methods used to treat
erectile dysfunction, 40,000 lo 50,000 men
annually choose injection therapy (the pa-
tient injects his penis with a drug that in-
duces erection) and another 20,000 have
penile implants. If you're having trouble get-
ting or maintaining an erection, the first
step should be a visit to your doctor. Erectile
dysfunction can indicate more serious med-
ical problems.

Еву rve noticed this message at the
beginning of the VHS movies I've rent-
ed: “This film has been modified from its
original version. It has been formatted
to fit this screen." The opening credits of
these movies are shown in the letterbox
format (with black bars at the top and
bottom of the screen), however, which
makes me wonder why they feel the
need to alter the rest of the picture. —
L.P, Nacogdoches, Texas.

Many people don't like the black bars,
which are the by-product of placing a rectan-
gular theater format onto a square television

screen by squeezing, stretching and trimming
the edges of the film (if you watch closely,
you'll notice that borders, people and objects
often have been cut off during the pan-and-
scan process that molds the film for the tube).
The credits are spared this indignity because
otherwise letters would be chopped off or dis-
torted, and a film starring Arnold Schwar-
zen might confuse people.

White making love with my girlfriend,
she inserted a finger into my rectum and
rotated it. I had the most intense orgasm
I've ever experienced. Is there a reason
for this, or did the shock of feeling her
finger in my asshole just catch me Бу sur-
prise?—B.T, Leeds, England.

It’s always refreshing to meet a woman
who's anal inventive. Your lover has learned
somewhere (probably from being on the re-
ceiving end) that the anus is filled with nerve
endings and becomes engorged and aroused
during intercourse just as genitals do. We
suggest using a waler-based lubricant if you
plan to return the favor, and make sure to
trim your fingernails, as the interior of the
rectum is delicate. Cathy Winks and Anne
Semans, authors of “The Good Vibrations
Guide to Sex,” offer an excellent introduc-
tion to using a light touch on the anus to
send your partner over the edge. After apply-
ing а lubricant, “circle your finger around
the soft folds of anal tissue. Many people find
that gentle stroking of the anal opening is all
the anal stimulation they desire. If your
partner becomes sufficiently relaxed, she or
he may bear down and slide right onto your
‚finger. Your fingertip should reach toward
the front of the body rather than crook up to-
ward the tailbone. The sphincter muscles
may tense up automatically as soon as you
enter, so hold your finger still at first until the
anus relaxes around it. Then feel free to in-
sert your finger deeper, exploring the outer
rectum. You can circle your finger, tap and
stroke the walls of the rectum or move your
finger gently in and out.” If your partner
has never experienced anal penetration,
don't be surprised if she or he finds the sen-
sation unsettling when you first slide in. By
the way, Winks and Semans also advise that
you “take the time to look at your partner's
anus. You may be surprised at how sweet and
innocent it looks—not like an "asshole" at
all.” That changes everything: What are we

supposed to yell at bad drivers?

All reasonable questions—from fashion,
food and drink, stereo and sports cars to dat-
ing problems, taste and etiquette—will be
personally answered if the writer includes a
stamped, self-addressed envelope. The most
provocative, pertinent queries will be pre-
sented in these pages each month. Send all
letters lo The Play duisor, PLAYBOY, 680
North Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, Illinois
60611 or by e-mail to advisor@playboy.com.
Look for responses to our most frequently
asked questions on the World Wide Web at
http://wwu.playboy.com/faq/faq.html.

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YBOY FORUM

GENTLE, JUSTICE

ee |

why do female felons get off easy?

It’s difficult to miss the pervasive
discrimination against women and
minorities in the workplace and al-
most every other area of our society—
with one notable exception. When we
turn our attention to the criminal jus-
tice system and its sentencing habits,
an equally shocking bias against men
is seen.

American men commit the majori-
ty of serious crimes, including mur-
der, rape, robbery, assault and drug
trafficking. It’s not surprising, then,
that seven times more men are
arrested on felony charges than
women. What is surprising is
that after conviction, 19 men
are imprisoned for every
woman. Some attribute this dif-
ference to the fact that women
commit less serious crimes. But
statistics compiled by crime re-
searchers and the U.S. Depart-
ment of Justice over the past
two decades indicate otherwise.

For burglary, while nine men

are arrested for every woman,
30 men are imprisoned before
one woman goes to jail. For ag-
gravated assault, ten men are
arrested for every woman, but
79 times more men are incar-
cerated. Even for white-collar
felonies such as fraud—the only
serious crime for which more
women are arrested than
men—nine men are jailed for
every woman.

There are other, more subtle
biases. One government study
found that after a woman is ar-
rested, she is almost twice as
likely to be released on her own
recognizance (in layman's terms, the
accused promises not to skip town).
Women are also more likely to have
bail set in amounts they can afford.
According to the most recent Justice

By ARMIN A. BROTT

tice system is so high that it skews the
figures. But when race is removed
from the equation, gender bias is still
prevalent. Five blacks are arrested for
every white, but six blacks are impris-
oned for every white. That's a differ-
ence of 20 percent. Seven men are ar-
rested for every woman, while 19
men are imprisoned for every wom-
an. That's a difference of 170 percent.

According to the Justice Depart-
ment, the situation gets no better
once criminals reach prison. On aver-

age, male felons receive prison sen-
tences that are 47 percent longer
than those of women convicted of the
same crime (the greatest difference is
for aggravated assault). One might

Department figures, 81 percent of argue that longer prison terms for

women accused of felonies were given
pretrial releases, as compared with 59
percent of men.

Some claim that the problem is
racism, that the percentage of African
American men processed by the jus-

men are the result of the severity of
their crimes and more extensive
criminal records. But studies that
control for these factors tell a differ-
ent story. Researchers Matthew Zin-
graff and Randall Thomson report in

the International Journal of the Sociology
of Law that, with the exception of
fraud, “women and men with compa-
rable backgrounds do not receive
comparable sentence lengths." Zin-
graff and Thomson also found that
gender contributed more to the de-
termination of sentence than race,
age or prior convictions. A Justice De-
partment study later supported these
findings when it calculated the aver-
age sentences for Americans who re-
ceived less than life terms or the
death penalty for killing their
spouses. Men who are convicted
of killing their wives received an
average sentence of 17.5 years.
Women convicted of killing their
husbands were given six years.

Why do so many judges use a
light touch when sentencing
women? Gender-bias research-
ers Jon Ryan and Ian Wilson
suggest that the answer is based
on three stereotypes. First, many
judges see women as being less
capable than men of commit-
ting crimes. Second, women are
viewed as more easily reformed,
so less severe punishments are
necessary to straighten them
out. Third, women are thought
to be less of a threat if released
back into society.

For more than 20 years,
women have complained that
similar stereotypes have kept
them out of boardrooms, poli-
tics and combat. They rightfully
resent being treated like chil-
dren who require big, strong
men to protect them. Why then
should society allow sexist

judges to gallantly rescue damsels in
distress? Such chivalry is nothing
more than paternalism in disguise—a
paternalism that demeans the people
it tries to protect. In the case of our
criminal justice system, it's time we
started giving female felons the same
sentences we hand out to their hus-
bands, fathers, brothers and sons.

Armin A. Втой is the author of “Тһе Ex-
pectant Father.”

R E

SEX OFFENDERS

In “Sex Crime & Punish-
ment” (The Playboy Forum, May),
Marty Klein provides an excel-
lent overview of the issues and
politics surrounding sex of-
fenders. Fear and collective mis-
information have led to a multi-
tude of legal responses that are
misguided and ineffective.

‘Technology does exist to pro-
vide a fairly accurate picture of
the sex offender. Over the past
decade assessment and diagno-
sis of sex criminals have im-
proved. Psychological testing,
structured interviews and com-
puterized penile plethysmo-
graphs (which gauge the state
of a man’s arousal) can give us a
good read on personality, sexu-
al arousal patterns and the
client's psychological ability to
manage his behavior. Unfortu-
nately, these skills are seldom
known to professionals in men-
tal health and corrections.

Computerized penile pleth-
ysmography offers great poten-
tial for the diagnosis and treat-
ment of sex offenders. William
Farrell has spent decades gath-
cring data and perfecting this
system. Last year state officials
in Nebraska forced Farrell to
destroy much of his work, be-
cause it included explicit sexual
pictures of children and adoles-
cents. These photos are essen-
tial in determining a man's
arousal. The actions of Nebras-
ka are akin to asking scientists
to find an effective treatment
for AIDS without being allowed
to rescarch HIV.

Most sex offenders are nev-
er properly treated, and what

FOR THE RECORD

HIGHER GROUND

“A very real gender and sexual revolution
started in the Sixties and has built momentum
with each decade. Every time sexual speech has
emerged from persecution and hiding, every
time sexuality has been considered in public
policy and dignified debate, my life has im-
proved in spades. For sexual discussion to move
so quickly from the criminal and pathological to
the realm of the creative and political is рһе-
nomenal, a triumph of honesty and democracy
over hypocrisy and elitism. Right now, funda-
mentalists of all persuasions have only been titil-
lated with a glimpse of the largely middle-class
erotic renaissance. Yes, I know they're appalled,
but they ain't seen nothin’ yet. Frankly, I'm sure
my sex life could be better—so much better than
I could possibly imagine—if their hands had
never been around my throat.”

—AUTHOR SUSIE BRIGHT ON ELEVATING SEXUAL

CONSCIOUSNESS, IN THE INTRODUCTION OF HER
LATEST BOOK, Sexwise

E R

tions, is an attempt to bring the
issues presented by Klein into
sharper focus.
William Kelly
Chairman
Sex Abuse Certification Im-
plementation Committee
American Association of Sex
Educators, Counselors
and Therapists
New York, New York

MASTURBATION 101

Chip Rowe thinks masturba-
tion should be taught ("Mastur-
bation 101,” The Playboy Forum,
May)? Guess again. Craig
Rogers, a California State Uni-
versity student, recently filed a
$2.5 million sexual harassment
claim against a female professor
for teaching the joys of auto-
eroticism to a psychology class.
Guest lecturer Joanne Marrow,
a former nun turned lesbian ac-
tivist, showed the class slides of
female genitalia and discussed
dildos and vibrators. Rogers,
who is a fundamentalist Chris-
tian, thought that the lecture
amounted to “crude, unadul-
terated male-bashing” that left
him feeling “raped and
trapped." He says that, as a re-
sult of the trauma, he suffered
mental anguish and loss of con-
centration prior to his final ex-
ams and had to seek counsel-
ing. Wouldn’t you call this

hypersensitivity absurd?

Miles Long

New York, New York
Welcome to the sensitivity sweep-
stakes. Rogers filed his suit under a
California law intended to protect
female students from speech or be-
havior by male teachers that could

treatment there is, is in its infancy.
Klein cites a number of reportedly suc-
cessful treatments. The picture seems
overly optimistic. Successful outcomes
are contingent on personality, stability
and type of arousal pattern. An exhibi-
tionist with a history as a family man
and a positive employment history is
much more likely to respond positively
to treatment than a sociopathic, fixated
pedophile.

But, the larger problem stems from
the fact that, with few exceptions, sex
offenders are treated by paraprofes-
sionals or by professionals who have re-

ceived little training in human sexuali-
ty. Those programs that do boast the
participation of a Ph.D. or medical
doctor limit those doctors’ roles to
consultation.

The American Association of Sex Ed-
ucators, Counselors and Therapists
looks to establish national standards in
the certification of persons who work
with sex offenders. These standards
would cover both professionals super-
vising sex offenders (such as probation
and corrections officers) and those pro-
viding treatment. This effort, in con-
junction with other national organiza-

lead to a hostile, offensive or otherwise ad-
verse learning environment. We've written
about abuse of sexual harassment laws in
“Kangaroo Campus” (“The Playboy Fo-
rum,” October 1994) and we have to ask:
How much pain and suffering occurs when
someone looks at slides of the opposite sex?
We echo the sentiments of Professor Mar-
тош attorney: “If every lecture has to be in-
offensive to every student, then you may as
well shut down the university.”

LESSON PLANS ON SEX
Attitudes about children and sexual-
ity are quite different in the U.S. from

those in the Netherlands. Our schools
give sexual education to children start-
ing from the age of seven. Sexuality is
not only an adult thing, but also some-
thing that children experience in a
spontaneous way. This spontaneity
gradually disappears in different ways
for boys and girls, because of the differ-
ent ways we deal with them. Sensory
experiences are important for the de-
velopment of a child’s identity, self-es-
teem and relational abilities. Many
adults have trouble with their sexuality
because they could not give their own
shape to certain ideas and feelings in
their childhood. The people who de-
velop sex ed lessons in the Netherlands
are of the opinion that with the sex
roles as we know them, society main-
tains an inequality, with men in domi-
nant roles. Since these roles sneak into
education at a young age, they want to
put them into discussion. The lessons
are rather detailed. Teachers tell about
sex: What sex is, how your body
changes, masturbation, what sperm is,
alternatives to fucking, condom use,
honesty, avoiding obligatory sex, vene-
real diseases, AIDS and various ways to
caress your partner sexually. So, while
there are no demonstrations, sex is
openly discussed in our classrooms.

Jan Heemskerk

Editor-in-Chief, Playboy Netherlands

Amsterdam, Netherlands

READER TO READER

It was refreshing to read the re-
sponse by David Kveragas (“Cru-
saders,” Reader Response, The Playboy Fo-
rum, April). I would like to comment
further. Father Trosch believes a client
of an abortion center could be carrying
the next Christ. Zealots often claim that
anything done for Christ is the righ-
teous thing to do, no matter what it in-
volves. This theme fueled the Cru-
sades, the witch-burning rituals and,
lately, the murders of doctors who per-
form abortions. But if Christ is not at
the core of the same acts, the acts
quickly change to violence. Murder is a
crime, no matter who does it. Murder-
ing abortionists is no different than
blowing up cars in Israel. I do not
believe either Christ or Muhammad
would have supported the radical posi-
tions taken by some of their followers
today. We should treat murderers
equally in the eyes of the law.
Ed Munir
Eagan, Minnesota

There аге a few inaccuracies in
Bradley Miller's missive (“Nanny
Boys,” Reader Response, The Playboy Fo-
тит, January). We conservatives never
run “stealth” campaigns. Miller claims
that “when made aware of it, most reli-

gious people reject the heart of the
nanny-Right agenda." Oh, really? I
have a hard time imagining religious

Here we go again.

Three days after Christmas 1994,
county prosecutor Joseph Deters
wrote to the manager of a Barnes &
Noble bookstore in Cincinnati and
accused him of displaying five mag-
azines and a novel that Deters
judged "harmful to juveniles." You
may have heard of them: The book
is alesbian erotic novel, Robbi Som-
mers’ Kiss and Tell; the magazines
are Nuthing Sacred, Your Flesh, Sub-
liminal Tattoos, Heavy Metal and the
January issue Of PLAYBOY.

Deters cited an Ohio law that
bans the "display, description or
representation" of any material that
contains sex, masturbation, sexual
arousal, nudity, bestiality, “extreme
or bizarre violence, cruelty or brutal-
ity," “human bodily functions of
elimination,” “repeated use of foul
language,” “physical torture, dis-
memberment, destruction or death
of a human being" or “criminal activ-
ity that tends to glorify or glamorize
the activity” and “has a dominant
tendency to corrupt.”

Cincinnati has always been a curi-
ous place—a major American city
where uptight moral crusaders have
all but stamped out sexual freedom
and expression. During his years as
county prosecutor, current sheriff Si-
mon Leis drove owners of adult
bookstores, adult theaters and strip
clubs out of town, attempted to shut
down a production of Oh! Calcutta!
and а critically acclaimed exhibit of
Robert Mapplethorpe photos, and

PLAYBOY.
LAWSUIT IN CINCINNATI

people rejecting the Ten Command-
ments or the idea that morality should
not be a matter of individual choice.
Individual liberty is a great idea, but
not if it is to come at the expense of
civilization.
James Heckel
Arlington, Virginia
(continued on page 41)

declined to prosecute a couple who
kidnapped their daughter to “depro-
gram” her because they believed
she was a lesbian. As sheriff, he filed
charges last year against a subur-
ban Barnes & Noble for selling a
copy of the literary sex journal Li-
bido to an 11-year-old girl (Deters
advised Leis against taking the case
to court—the sheriff did and it was
promptly thrown out).

The crusading Leis has publicly
feuded with his former protégé, De-
ters, who has not prosecuted an ob-
scenity case in four years on the job.
Instead, Deters has developed a
strategy of his own. By threatening
costly legal action unless business-
es allow him to define what is
“harmful,” he avoids having to take
on the Constitution directly or risk
the sort of judicial rebutf that greet-
ed the more brazen sheriff. Last
year, for example, Deters dismissed
criminal charges against two hotels
after they agreed to remove adult
videos from their rental machines.
As part of the agreement, if adult
movies are ever again stocked in
the machines, the hotels must close
their doors.

With support from the American
Booksellers Foundation for Free
Expression and a number of pub-
lishers and music and video distrib-
utors, PLAYBoy filed suit against De-
ters and Leis in March, questioning
the constitutionality of the prosecu-
tors action and the statute that
prompted it. — CHIP ROWE

CURSES!

editors drop fig leaves on the language

Two years ago, Men's Health—a mag-
azine read almost entirely by people
with penises—asked Robin Williams
how to save a stand-up routine.
Williams’ reply: If all else fails, “go for
the d—k joke.”

That's how the word—a stand-in for
"dick"—appeared іп the magazine. А
copy editor explained that parent com-
pany Rodale Press feared spelling it
out might upset some anonymous
reader who could pick up the maga-
zine in a doctor's office or from a
neighbor's coffee table.

Every day, people
say, sing and scrib-
ble words such as
dick, prick, fuck,
shit, motherfuck-
er, asshole, cunt
and goddamn
with great pas-
sion, ignorance or
conviction, and
every day editors
excise the guts of
the language for
fear that some-
where, somehow,
someone may pos-
sibly be offended.

Consider some
of the more ri-
diculous examples
‘we've come across:

© The Los Ange-
les Times censored
all of the cusswords
in a story by media re-
porter David Shaw that examined why
newspapers censor cusswords. In an-
other infamous incident, a Times editor
changed “69-car pileup” to “70-car
pileup” to avoid “titillating or offend-
ing readers.”

* The New York Times refused to print
an ad with the headline LIES. DAMNED
LIES. STATISTICS (based on a phrase pop-
ularized by Mark Twain) until it was
changed to LIES. MORE LIES. STATISTICS.

* When the rap group 2 Live Crew
was hauled into a Florida court because
its song lyrics were allegedly obscene—
an important and newsworthy First
Amendment case—no daily newspa-

By CHIP ROWE

per found the courage to print the
words. To this day, few Americans who
don’t own the album have any idea
what the group sang beyond reading
that it was “crude and graphic.”

If you ask the editor of a newspaper
ог magazine why he or she censors cer-
tain words, you'll likely be told that
you're reading a “family” publication.
“Editors regard themselves as the
moral guardians of children, who

aren't reading the newspaper anyway,”
explains Shaw. Funny, that concern
doesn't prevent them from printing
photos of mutilated Rwandan war vic-
tims, or from writing about a Supreme
Court nominee accused of discussing a
pubic hair on his Coke can, a boxer
convicted of raping a teenage beauty
contestant, or priests accused of child
sexual abuse. If you were to protest the
reporting of any of these subjects, the
response would be much more high-
minded: We cover the news. Don't
shoot the messenger.

Publications that decide honesty is
the best policy and report the language

as it is spoken— including The New York-
er and other respected magazines—al-
ways get heat from a small number
of readers who object to seeing their
worst linguistic nightmares in print.
"They're missing the point: The censor-
ship of language implies something far
more insidious—namely, that editors
believe that they have a duty to change
reality, and with it, the news.

The modern collision between reali-
ty and propriety began in 1964, when
Mario Savio helped launch the Free
Speech Movement at Berkeley. The

FSM demonstrat-

ed that while so-

ciety could quickly
recognize and pun-
ish language that
it considered ob-
scene, it had a tough
time confronting
hateful actions.
Shaw notes an
example. When de-
tective Mark Fuhr-
man was on the
stand during the
О.]. Simpson trial,
he was under fire
for supposedly us-
ing the word nigger
ten years earlier.
The Los Angeles
Times’ extensive cov-
erage of the testi-
mony avoided re-
peating the slur.
Shaw pointed this out
to the editors, who explained that they
didn't want to offend readers and that
everyone knows the word anyway.
“Everyone knows that O.J. Simpson is
on trial for murder, but we don’t make
it ‘the M-word," Shaw responded.
“Nigger is the ugliest word in the lan-
guage, but murder is more obscene.”

Many editors believe that disguising
controversial words with dashes or
comments such as “expletive deleted”
ог as “the N-word” constitutes a com-
promise. But if “everyone knows the
word,” as Shaw was told, why not spell
it out? Why make a reader guess if
s—tty represents shitty, smutty or slutty,

as Entertainment Weekly did last аи-
tumn? And if you are going to disguise
words that might offend some readers,
what about h—s—ual, ab—tion or
even s-x?

In any case of censorship, major or
minor, larger issues surface. Time Inc.,
which publishes magazines such as En-
tertainment Weekly, Life and Southern Liv-
ing, has a policy that generally forbids
obscenities in print. In Time, for in-
stance, you'll sometimes get the non-
word с- » which could be cock-
sucker or cunt (you're left to decide).
Or the editor will resort to eu-
phemisms. At Sports Illustrated, a motor-
cyclist’s appraisal of a ride, "It was this
close to being better than sex," became
“It was this close to being better than
making love.” The perplexed writer
responded, “How about ‘It was better
than making love in the missionary po-
sition for the sole purpose of procre-
ation within marriage'?” Clearly,
speech codes represent a class and race
consciousness. The Time Inc. title Vibe,
aimed at young urban blacks, contains
“more curse words in one issue than in
the entire history of Time Inc.,” one
top editor boasted in a trade publica-
tion. "We don't censor it. It's acceptable
in that context.” In other words, be-
cause young urban blacks aren't as civ-
ilized as white folks, they won't be up-
set by rough language.

A similar problem surrounds the
word bitch, which leaped into the news
after Newt Gingrich's mom used it in
reference to Hillary Clinton. All but the
most prudent publications printed the
word, though you'd be hard pressed to
find any that would so easily put “ass-
hole” or “prick” into type. One reader
noted as much in a letter to the Chicago
Tribune, writing that “similarly vulgar
words hurled at men do not appear on
commercial television or in newspaper
articles.” Apparently men are more
sensitive about name-calling.

An effective way to battle censorship
is to expose and ridicule it. The satirist
Paul Krassner used a novel approach
during the height of the Cold War by
printing a poster that read FUCK сом-
MUNISM. The verb was offensive, the
sentiment was not, and moralists were
stymied. We suggest an update: FUCK
CENSORSHIP. Whenever a publication
lets a prudish minority dictate what
sort of language—and news—the rest
of us can see, ask which letters or
words, exactly, were deleted. If editors
are willing to take liberties with lan-
guage they deem offensive, what else
are they keeping from you?

READER RESPONSE
(continued from page 39)

In the April issue, Allen MacCan-
nell described how men are being ha-
rassed in the newsgroup alt.feminism
(“Politics in Cyberspace,” Reader Re-
sponse, The Playboy Forum). Irate
flamers put male poster's names in
message headers, saying that these
men condone rape. There is a solu-
tion to negative repercussions from
non-PC postings: Anonymous remail-
ers allow people to speak their minds
without fear of reprisals. They can
even be used for two-way dialogues
with no danger of discovery. Right
now these remailers provide protec-
tion against the most rabid university
thought police, and are rapidly evolv-
ing to provide anonymity against
government intrusion. As supporters
of free speech, you should make your
readers aware of this resource.

Lance Cottrell
San Diego, California

The founding fathers wrote under pseu-
donyms—it was the only way to debate
without fear of reprisal—and the stakes
were the future of the country. While we
understand the principle behind anony-
mous remailers, we don't endorse them. To-
day, most unsigned opinion is graffiti.

MORE TRICKS

Your “Stupid Government Tricks”
(The Playboy Forum, April) mentions
the USDA spending $34.6 million
for research into screwworms, even
though the worm has been eliminat-
ed from the 0.5. I have seen how
devastating this pest can be on do-
mestic and wild animals, as well as on
humans, so to label the research as a
waste is completely inaccurate. True,
the screwworm has been eradicated
from the U.S., Mexico and part of
Central America. Those annual funds
are being spent not for research but
to extend elimination all the way to
Panama, where a biological barrier
will be more effective in stopping the
pest's northward movement. Eradi-
cation of a pest from an area does not
ensure it won't be reintroduced.
Texas A&M University researchers
estimate that an outbreak in 1976
cost consumers more than $200 mil-
lion. The current USDA spending on
this program will undoubtedly
benefit the people of Mexico and
Central America. But the main
beneficiary of this program is the
U.S. If this pest were to be reintro-

duced here, we would not be
equipped to cope with the labor-in-
tensive affliction.
Alberto Broce
Department of Entomology
Kansas State University
Manhattan, Kansas

John Kohut's “Stupid Government
Tricks,” though amusing, was riddled
with distortions regarding the Postal
Service. First of all, the Postal Service
did not, as stated, lay off 33,000 em-
ployees. Those employees were bor-
derline retirees who were offered in-
centives to leave. The Postal Service
is currently reducing its workforce
through attrition. As for the priority
envelope, it was never considered or
labeled a guarantee. The two-day en-
velopes were destroyed because of
customer confusion and because of
complaints regarding the differences
between priority mail and overnight
express, which is guaranteed.

Joseph Warda
Eureka, California

Author Kohut responds: “Why stop with
the screwworm in Panama? Let's use U.S.
tax dollars to drive the varmints to Tierra
del Fuego, or better yet, the sea. As for our
esteemed Postal Service, early retirement is
just Nineties biz-speak for layoff. I don't
know of many private enterprises that reg-
ularly reward executives for limiting an-
nual losses to $1.3 billion. What happens
after several more years of such perfor-
mances? 1 know who will be left holding
the bag.”

COMICS
If the deadpan humor of William

Helmer (“Comics: Threat or Men-
асе?” The Playboy Forum, April) is any
indication of the long-term effects of
trash comic book consumption, then
the fanatical right has every reason to
be worried. Free exchange of art,
knowledge and ideas is the greatest
antagonist to a totalitarian objective.
Thank you for continuing to feed
my mind, and for continuing to
provide such thought-provoking
entertainment.

Laura Garth

Los Angeles, California

We would like to hear your point of
view. Send questions, information, opin-
ions and quirky stuff to: The Playboy Fo-
rum Reader Response, PLAYBOY, 680
North Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, Illinois
60611. Please include a daytime phone
number. Fax number: 312-951-2939.
E-mail: forum@playboy.com.

OW TO POLICE WAYWARD COPS.
The headline in the New Sci-
entist caught our attention
immediately. Why was an

English science magazine covering the

internal affairs of a police department?

The story proved fascinating. The
Chicago police department had “enlist-
ed the help of artificial intelligence to
pinpoint potential rotten apples on the
force.” Something called a neural net-
work system had “already identified 91
officers whose behavior suggests that
they may become a liability to the
department.”

Now, we know that sometimes cops
in Chicago, and elsewhere, go bad.
They skip work, beat up innocent by-
standers, steal, sell or take drugs and
occasionally commit murder. The no-
tion that a computer program could
predict such behavior was intriguing.
And, we suspected, dangerous.

We decided to investigate.

The Chicago police department had
indeed done a computerized analysis
of bad cops. It fed the software the
records of 191 cops who had been fired
and 382 cops with unblemished ca-
reers. The computer looked at disci-
plinary and attendance records, per-
formance reviews and more. It chose
what was important, delving into edu-
cational, marriage, medical and driv-
ing records; it also tallied the offending
officers’ race, sex, Social Security num-
bers and badge numbers.

Next, atrial run by a university com-
puter lab confirmed the patterns the
police department had found. Internal
affairs then went ahead with a full run
on police in the department. The com-
puter devoured the records of 12,500
officers and pegged 91 “at risk.” The
rank and file started screaming. The
police officers’ union protested. While
the system may have the ability to
finger wrongdoers before they do
wrong, it could also finger cops who
would never sour—and that was un-
‚American.

Ме talked with people on both sides
of the controversy.

Robert Geinosky of the Chicago po-
lice department's internal affairs divi-
sion told us the neural network was
simply an attempt to remove the hu-

man element from the process that
roots out bad cops. Geinosky works out
of the CPD's antiquated headquarters
downtown and has too small a staff to
sort through all of the department's
personnel records. The department is
under pressure to modernize, and the
neural network was seen as an exem-
plary move forward.
Geinosky, a former
street cop, worked
hard on the new sys-
tem, developing most
of the database him-
self. Internal affairs
can be a lonely post.
Officers don't like be-
ing policed. They
work closely together
and are loathe to
squeal on one anoth-
er. The idea that an
impersonal computer
could circumvent the
cops' code was seduc-
tive. Geinosky ex-
plains, "There are
cases where a supervi-
sor doesn't want to
[crack down on] an-
other officer because
he feels it may be
detrimental to that
person's career and
there is friendship in-
volved—and added
work." The program,
Geinosky claims,
looks objectively at
officers’ records. И
more than 99 percent
of the factors in the
record of an active
officer were to match
those of the rogues,
he or she would be
called in for a consul-
tation, encouraged to
get counseling and put on a list of
officers іп the Behavior Alert program.
Тһе problem lies in what constitutes
a match. If a bad cop were Irish or
‚African American, then sizable chunks
of the police force might be a match.
William Nolan heads Chicago's Fra-
ternal Order of Police, the officers’
union. He saw the potential for dis-

crimination and responded, “On the
police force, we're all blue.”

Harold Kunz minds the legal affairs
of the Fraternal Order. Kunz’ office is
jammed with memorabilia from a long
career: team trophies, certificates of
commendation and lots of photos with
other officers. A campaign poster for

and a signed picture of Oliver North
hang behind his chair. Kunz knows all
cops aren't good. On his desk is a stack
of business cards from a drug-treat-
ment center for visiting officers to take.

"Тһе police call the computer “the
crystal ball.” Not surprisingly, Kunz
thinks the crystal ball goes too far. The
program “labels officers as behavior

problems without looking closely at
their behavior,” he says. “Getting la-
beled as a potential problem means
your bosses won't want you and future
bosses won't want you. The label can be
used against you if anything goes
wrong in your life—like а divorce—
and your records are opened in court.”

Kunz says the program condones the
kind of unfairness and prejudgment
police are supposed to avoid in their
own work.

Chicago developed its crystal ball
from a commercial software package
called Brainmaker. It’s touted as simu-
lated biological intelligence. Experts in
artificial intelligence call it “Brain-in-a-

Box.” The Brainmaker's neural net-
works try to mimic the way neurons in
the brain acquire and process data and
learn from it, working around missing
information to build an image of reali-
ty. Perhaps it was the novelty of the
software that seduced the Chicago po-
lice. The world’s most powerful com-
puters have nev-
er approached the
speed and precision
of the human brain.
Or even the brains of
frogs and bunnies.
Neural networks
have helped with lim-
ited tasks such as dis-
cerning what kinds of
people might have
trouble meeting their
mortgage obliga-
tions, or helping con-
tractors find flaws in
concrete. Some
ple have used them
to predict stock
prices and the out-
comes of dog and
horse racing. Nolan,
who dismisses the
software as “a toy,”
points out the obvi-
ous: If Brainmaker
could crack the stock
market or successful-
ly predict the out-
come of horse races,
everyone who owns a
copy would be rich.
The department
has set itself on a
quest for the Holy
Grail of artificial in-
telligence—predict-
ing complex human
behavior. No one has
succeeded yet. Not
the Department of
Defense with its billions spent on bat-
tlefield robots, not researchers at su-
percomputing centers still struggling
with much simpler problems, such as
teaching machines to catch baseballs.
Jim Jubak, author of In the Image of
the Brain: Breaking the Barrier Between the
Human Mind and Intelligent Machines,
says, “Using neural networks to predict

when people will go bad is absurd. Is
taking a kickback on a parking ticket
the same as shaking down drug deal-
ers? Any time you're looking for more
complex behavior, the network will spit
out garbage.”

Jubak also cites the obvious problem
of ferreting out today’s wrongdoers
based on the behavior of yesterday's.
“The department assumes that people
are dumb and machines are smart. But
bad cops in 1995 know how bad cops in
1985 got caught.”

Of course, that leaves the computer’s
net to snare good cops who aren't par-
ticularly interested in how bad cops got
caught. According to a spokesman for
internal affairs, the crystal ball wasn't
intended to identify cops actively in-
volved in corruption. A cop could deal
drugs on the front steps of the precinct
house, but if he didn't match the
profile, no one would notice.

Raymond Risley, a superintendent аг
internal affairs, told the New Scientist
that the program would identify
officers whose minor misbehavior
could signal major trouble ahead. The
police union stepped in to protect its
membership from such speculative in-
terference. No one will see the 91
names that were generated in the test
run. And that's as it should be—even
cops are innocent until proven guilty.

We wonder who else is asking a com-
puter to play judge, jury and execu-
tioner. The people at Brainmaker say
their program is already used to classify
psychiatric patients and to summon ju-
Tors. Will the government or big busi-
nesses start to make hiring decisions
based on computer-generated profiles?
Are they already? If your vital stats
match those of a vice president who ab-
sconded with company funds, will you
be fired? If your EKG matches that of
someone who had a heart attack, will
you be denied insurance?

We have no doubt that elsewhere in
America, techies are finding new uses
for programs like Brainmaker—taking
the pain and gravity of human judg-
ment out of the picture. The question
is: Who will protect you?

Е. ў

ы Fy JR

O МЕТ

what's happening in the sexual and social arenas

THEPRIMALBUST ~

SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH—Lawmakers
wanted to get tough on perverts who expose
children to lewdness, but they ran into
trouble. What would happen if Junior

woke up, wanted a drink of water and dis-
covered his parents making love? The ex-
pression “knowing or reckless or intention-
al” threatened parents with jail. After
discussion, lawmakers agreed that failing
to bolt the bedroom door may be careless but
was not reckless, at least in the legal sense.

2 ШАМА

INDIANAPOLIS—A lawmaker added a
new wrinkle to a bill that would require
Indiana women to receive counseling and
wait 18 hours before undergoing elective
abortions. State Senator Anita Bowser, de-
elaring such a law one-sided and unfair,
has offered an amendment that would re-
quire the same counseling and waiting pe-
riod for men seeking vasectomies.

- GLADIATOR GAMES —

EDMONTON, ALBERTA—A bizarre case
on trial in Canada gives new meaning to
the phrase a woman scorned. A former
model is accused of injecting her ex-lover, a
prominent Canadian photographer with
human. immunodeficiency virus during a
round of sadomasochistic sex. Witnesses
testified that the woman, in an act of те-
venge after the breakup of their seven-year

relationship, plotted to lure the victim into
а kinky weekend for old times’ sake. The
nostalgic rendezvous, which included nip-
ple rings and blindfolds, allegedly includ-
ed the woman drugging and whipping the
complainant before injecting him with
tainted blood. He has since tested positive
for HIV.

KALISPELL, MONTANA— The West Valley
School District must pay $38,000 to the li-
brary aide it fired for lending her personal
books to two seventh-grade students doing
research on witchcraft in the Middle Ages.
The girls had no luck finding helpful titles
in the library, so Debbie Denzer offered
books from her home—two academically
respected volumes on the occult and
women. in history. After the girls’ parents
complained, the school sacked the librarian
for exposing the students to Satanism and
feminism.

AxLANTA—Should health officials be al-
lowed to track down the sexual partners of
people with HIV? The Centers for Disease
Control offers compelling data in favor of
contact tracing. А report linked a single
HIV-infected person to 142 others through
a chain of sexual encounters or shared
needles. Òf those, 50 were found to be
HIV-positive.

ST. JOSEPH, MICHIGAN—A bar owner
and local authorities have gone to war
over televised nudity that tests the state
liquor board's rules on tavern entertain-
ment. The flap arose when an off-duty po-
liceman observed patrons exhibiting more
than a casual interest in the show on the
tavern’s television set, a Cinemax broad-
cast of “The Getaway.” When a nude
woman appeared on the screen, the officer
advised a change of channel, but the bar-
tender refused. The state's liquor rules pro-
hibit the showing of nude scenes by elec-
tronic means, which, up to this point, has
been interpreted to mean pornography
shown via videocassette recorders. If held
liable, the bar could be fined up to $300
and have its license suspended. The tavern
owner blamed the “mix-up” on Consolidat-
ed Cablevision, claiming he did not sub-

scribe to that particular station. Guess the
Disney Channel doesn't draw them in like
it used to.

AMSTERDAM, NETHERLANDS—Would-be
Dutch prostitutes now can take a course
designed to teach them the world’s oldest
profession. The year-old Prostitution Info
Center, a cooperative formed by Amster-
dam's hookers, offers а training program
for women interested in the calling. The
six-session course covers intricacies of the
law, bookkeeping, how to build a regular
clientele and expertise in the use of con-
doms. After a series of classroom sessions,
students apply the theories, visiting sex
clubs and practicing their cum seduction
skills. What is the most important aspect of
the program? Dealing with the taxman.
How else are you going to know that
whips, leather and creams are deductible
business expenses?

SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA—We have heard of
unique forms of drug delivery: trailer
truck, cigarette boat, balloons, spray cans,
cakes and beehive hairstyles. Now comes

one to rival the U.S. Open. The Reuters
news agency reports that Australian pris-
олет have come up with а new trick for
getting narcotics. Friends on the outside
qut the drugs in tennis balls and bat them
over the walls.

Reporter's Notebook

BEACH BLANKET POLITICS

conservatives have declared war on hollywood.
maybe they forgot who invented family values

Is Hollywood really run by a bunch of
sex-crazed exploiters of violence deter-
mined to destroy what remains of Amer-
ican family values? That's what Pat
Robertson and his Christian Coalition
claim, and now Republican presidential
candidates are trumpeting the same hys-
terical message.

As an encore to Dan Quayle’s attack
on Murphy Brown in the last election,
the usually sober Bob Dole promises that
"If I'm the president of the United
States, I'm going to urge consumers to
turn off their TV sets and not patronize
these movies."

But the conservative crusade is bogus.
Hollywood is driven by profit, not poli-
tics. The stuff it turns out relies heavily
on sex and violence because that's what
sells. This was true in the past, when
most movie moguls, from Jack and Har-
ry Warner to Darryl Zanuck, were
staunch Republicans, and it's true today
now that a few are Democrats. These
guys go for demographics, not political
ideology. Anyone who believes that Re-
publicans don't exploit sex and violence
hasn't surfed the channels lately.

Rupert Murdoch is an ardent conser-
vative with a long record of financing
right-wing politicians such as Margarct
Thatcher and Ronald Reagan. Yet his
Fox network has given T and А a promi-
nence impossible during the decades
when the three networks had a monop-
oly on taste. Not one of the older net-
works would have permitted a single air-
g of Studs, Melrose Place or that epitome
of family values, Married With Children.

So who's the enemy? Pat Buchanan
launched his presidential bid with a
pledge to chase Hollywood's “purveyors
of sex and violence back bencath thc
rocks from whence they came." I hope
he's not going to go after Bruce Willis,
Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester
Stallone—Republicans down to their
larger-than-life bones. True, those guys
make violent movies, but they're no dif-
ferent from earlier Republicans John
Wayne and Clint Eastwood—and no-
body would call those two un-American.

While we're discussing patriotism and
Hollywood, let's remember that since
World War Two, Americans have been
led into war by actors. John Wayne nev-
er experienced actual combat, but mil-

opinion By ROBERT SCHEER

lions inspired by his film heroics did. For
all the talk about leftists in Hollywood,
the movie industry during the Vietnam
war was also a major recruiter for the
military. Wayne's The Green Berets was a
big-budget action movie. Jane Fonda's
Coming Home, about the dismal reception
for a paraplegic veteran, wasn't made
until three years after the war.

Nor is there any truth to the right-
wing charge that Hollywood is out to un-
dermine family values. That charge was
leveled by Bob Dornan, another Repub-
lican presidential candidate, who daims
that “we have a debased culture in Hol-
lywood that ridicules and assaults reli-
gion and tears valor, hope and virtue ош
of our country.” He must be talking
about The Lion King, which gets a bit
raunchy, and not Forrest Gump, which tra-
ditional-values conservatives loved. The
right-wing National Review gave Gump an
award for conservative values even be-
fore the film won any Academy Awards.

The entertainment business profits by
allowing us to escape to lives we don't
have. That's why Hollywood can't be at
war with traditional values. Images of
the perfect family were invented by the
entertainment industry and continue to
have no other existence. As Ben Stcin, a
screenwriter and former Nixon speech-
writer, concedes, ТУ is “the primary
teacher of family values in this country.
Even the Bundys stay together. All the
problems on TV are solved with human
understanding and love. TV hasn't
changed, really, since Ozzie and Harviet.”

Hollywood would just as soon sell the
Lord as the devil if it would win sweeps
week or fill theaters. That's what George
Vradenburg, a Fox executive vice presi-
dent, tried telling a gathering of conscr-
vatives summoned by the National Review
to denounce Hollywood. “We produce
what will attract audiences. R-rated mov-
ies are significantly more profitable than
G-rated movies. If movies are out of
touch with America, why do Americans
watch them? This business is driven by
commercial considerations.”

There was a time when politicians
knew enough to look the other way
when Hollywood gave Americans the
movies they wanted. Back then, Republi-
cans didn't worry about the Christian
Coalition and didn't confuse Hollywood

images with the real world. They took
movieland celebrity for what it was:
something to be exploited

At the Nixon Library in Yorba Linda,
California, I picked up one of my most
treasured mementos: a coffee mug em-
blazoned with a picture of Richard
Nixon and Elvis Presley shaking hands
over the words THE PREZ AND THE PRINCE.
Nixon liked that one so much that he
had T-shirts made with the same image.
"Тһе mug and T-shirts commemorate a
terrific moment in political history, when
Nixon appointed Elvis ап honorary
drug enforcement officer. That's class.
Hollywood stars are royalty, and the
president should pay homage. After all,
the prime minister of England nods to
the Queen, but that doesn't mean the
Queen runs the country. And neither
does Barbra Streisand.

Conservatives should follow the exam-
ple of Ronald Reagan, who appcared in
hisshare of T and A movies and had the
good taste to invite Michael Jackson and
his chimp Bubbles to the White House.
Reagan also had a cozy relationship with
MCA chief Lew Wasserman and made a
video to honor him and his wife on their
50th wedding anniversary. Reagan knew
who made him, not just as a movie star
but as president. Similarly, George Bush
made a big deal out of attending the pre-
miere of My Stepmother Is an Alien be-
cause it was produced by his generous
contributor and buddy Jerry Weintraub.

This gets at the source of the problem
between the GOP and Hollywood. Re-
cently, the moguls and stars have given
more money to the Democrats, so the
Republicans’ gloves have come off. Peo-
ple who grew up loving Beach Blanket
Bingo are suddenly yammering about
the good old days when Hollywood
made movies of value.

If the Republicans want to lecture
Hollywood about values, maybe they
should start with violence. Maybe Holly-
wood could cut back on blowing up
buildings for a while. Come to think of it,
perhaps when Bruce Willis campaigns
for Republican candidates he should
caution his audience that the car bomb-
ings featured in Die Hard With a Ven-
geance are not intended to inspire the ul-
traright ving.

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1994 Кал! vo), Hiram Walker 3615, Inc, F

norn: BERRY GORDY

a candid conversation with the maestro of motown about building an empire against
all odds, clashing with michael jackson’s father—and why he left all of it behind

On the jacket of Berry Gordy Jr-'s autobi-
ography, “To Be Loved,” are testimonials by
some of the people who have been affected by
him: Smokey Robinson, Dick Clark, David
Geffen, Lee lacocca, Barry Diller, Mike
Ovitz, Sidney Poitier and Diana Ross. But
Gordys influence was not felt only by his
peers in the entertainment and business
worlds. There is hardly ап adult anywhere in
the world who doesn't recognize at least some
of the music that came from Gordy's Motown
Studios. As Clark says, “Berrys music, that
Motown magic, provides the soundtrack of
our lives.”

A list of the artists who created that sound-
track reminds everyone what a potent musi-
cal force Motown was: the Four Tops, Mar-
vin Gaye, the Jackson 5, the Marvelettes,
Martha and the Vandellas, Lionel Richie,
Smokey Robinson (һе Miracles, the
Supremes, the Temptations, Mary Wells,
Stevie Wonder. For five weeks in 1968 and
1969 Motown artists held the top three spots
on “Billboard’s” Hot 100 chart. It would be
an amazing achievement for any record com-
pany. But for Motown—whose acts were pri-
marily African American and whose music
captured America’s urban essence—such
success made histary.

Motown was Berry Gordy, the enigmatic,

“We didn't dwell on black audiences or white
audiences. The first song 1 tried to sell was a
song I wrote for Doris Day, a white-sound-
ing song for a white girl. So 1 sold out my
white roots when I changed to black music.”

tenacious, revered and occasionally reviled
mogul who launched the record company in
his hometown of Detroit. Gordy also wrote
many of the company’s hits on his own or in
collaboration with other Motown writers,
discovered and nurtured the Motown acts,
produced and arranged the records and was
integral in the creation of the world-famous
Motoum sound. In addition, he acted as the
stars’ manager, agent and, often, surrogate
father. He also oversaw Motown’s market-
ing, manufacturing, sales, public relations,
distribution, finances and whatever else
came along.

Gordy founded Motoum and other
record label, Tamla, in the late Fifties. The
first record he released was one of his songs,
“Come to Me," recorded by Маго Johnson.
The $800 it cost came from a loan Gordy
took from his family. Other records followed,
the company grew and by the mid-Sixties
Motown was the hottest label in the world.
The Beatles and Rolling Stones, among oth-
covered Motown songs, and the original
versions sold millions of copies.

Motown enjoyed show business break-
throughs—the Supremes at the Copacabana,
the Jackson 5 on the “Ed Sullivan Show,”
Marvin Gaye's unforgettable performance of
“The Star-Spangled Banner” at the 1983

“Stardom affects people in many different
ways, and some can make it through the vi-
cious circle. Others get caught in drugs some
go mad with power, some forget who their
friends are, some forget who they are.”

NBA All-Star Game—as well as some less
pleasant moments. The Motortown Revue
was traveling through the South when the
bus that carried the performers was fired up-
on, At the same lime, critics accused Gordy of
selling out by making music that crossed wer
to whites. There were business setbacks, 100.
Most notably, Motown was crippled by the
defection of some of its key acts, including
the Jackson 5 and in particular, Michael,
who went solo and made the biggest-selling
album in the history of the record business—
for Epic Records, not Motown

In the early Seventies Gordy moved his
thriving company to Hollywood and into the
movie business. Though the Motown film di-
vision never took off, there were a couple of
artistic and commercial successes: “Lady
Sings the Blues,” starring Diana Ross as
Billie Holiday, and “Mahogany,” starring
Ross and directed by Gordy. But Gordy was
distracted by moviemaking, and changes
were sweeping the record business. Distribu-
tion was being consolidated and costs were
skyrocketing. Gordy got into financial trou-
ble, particularly when other Motown acts—
including Diana Ross and Marvin Gaye
deserted the company.

As his econamic woes mounted, Gordy
almost sold Motown in 1986 and two years

PHOTOGRAPHY BY MIZUNO
“Not all rap music is about ‘niggers, whores
and bitches.’ Some of it is reflective of the
rappers’ lifestyles and the frightening way in
which they have to live. It's put on record
now for everyone to hear.”

PLAYBOY

later accepted a $61 million offer from
МСА. Though Gordy was criticized for sell-
ing—Jesse Jackson, for one, felt he was let-
ting down the black community—he claims
he had no choice. Gordy retained his music
publishing company, Jobete, which earns an
estimated $20 million a year.

Money like that was unthinkable when
Gordy was a child in Detroit. His parents
were enterprising and hardworking, starting
а number of businesses, including a grocery
store, a plastering business, insurance sales
and a Christmas tree lot. But making ends
meet was hard, and at one point his father
was forced to go on welfare.

Young Gordy planned to follow in the foot-
steps of his heroes, boxers Joe Louis and Sug-
ar Ray Robinson. Gordy was a promising
featherweight, but he also enjoyed writing
songs—despite the fact that novice com-
posers have trouble paying the bills. He
opened а record store and worked on an as-
sembly line at а Lincoln-Mercury plant until
he decided, at last, to devote himself to song-
writing full-time. When he wanted more con-
trol over the production of his songs and re-
alized he could make more money if he
weren't paying so many middlemen, he de-
cided to start his own record company. Mo-
town was built in large part on Gordy's
songs (including classics such as “You've
Made Me So Very Happy” and “Money
[That's What I Want] ”), which were record-
ed by almost every one of the company’s
artists,

Motown and Gordy had more than their
share of detractors. Throughout the years,
the company was haunted by allegations that
Gordy had cheated and manipulated his
artists and that he was backed by the Mafia.
He was married and divorced three times,
has eight children, lived for a number of
years with ptaysoy Playmate Lee Ann
Michelle and had a long romance with Di-
ana Ross. One of his ex-wives, Raynoma,
wrote a book in which she accused him of
cutting her out of Motown's success. There
were also lausuits by former colleagues, in-
cluding songuriters and performers.

Though these charges accumulated, Gordy
refused 10 comment—he was 100 busy build-
ing Motown to be distracted. He did not
break his silence until he published “To Be
Loved: The Music, the Magic, the Memories
of Motown,” an entertaining memoir that
made best-seller lists around the country. Be-
cause Gordy was now talking openly, we sent
Contributing Editor David Sheff to speak with
the 65-year-old at his Bel Air mansion.
Here's Sheff's report:

“This was the first interview 1 have con-
ducted with an audience, A cameraman
filmed the entire event ("Мк Gordy records
everything for the archives,’ I was told) while
one, and occasionally two, secretaries sat in
and took shorthand notes.

“Gordy entered the first session at about
ten in the morning wearing beige cashmere
and soft moccasins. He squinted because of
the intense lights set up for the filming and
insisted that they be shut off (‘it’s much too
early for that," he said). When the lights were

doused, he stretched, shook out his hands
and rotated his head—warm-ups left over
from his days as a boxer

“He spoke casually and confidently, clear-
ly enjoying the opportunity to talk. When he
reminisced, he often closed his eyes and ser-
monized in a preacher-like voice. Occasion-
ally he would ash one of his assistants to find
a recording of a song he was talking about—
an old blues record or a recording by Smokey
Robinson. Gordy became lost in the music,
but there were a few times—when he played
а recording of the Temps singing а new ver-
sion of the Contours’ hit ‘Do You Love Me’
for example—when 1 was the one who had
to be reminded that it was time to get back
to work.”

PLAYBOY: After refusing to address the
rumors about you and Motown for so
many years, why did you finally decide
to tell your story?

GORDY: 1 wish Martin Luther King had
written his own book, or JFK. I would
have loved to hear their stories in their
own words. Beyond that, though I don't
like being public, I felt I had to set the
record straight. As Motown was grow-

I learned ages ago
that money cannot
make you happy.
And I realized that unless
you have money, you can’t
make that statement.

ing, I wanted to refute the misinforma-
tion, rumors and gossip, but I chose not
to. I had to live by the advice I gave to
the artists on the label: Don't be distract-
ed from your goals. I told the artists nev-
ет to answer rumors, and I had to prac-
tice what I preached. But I was torn. 1
particularly wanted kids to understand
that no company as beautiful as Motown
could haye been built in the devious
ways that were rumored.

PLAYBOY: Let's tackle the rumors. Did
you make deals with the Mafia?

GORDY: No. That rumor grew from an
artide that appeared in a small neigh-
borhood news sheet. It said, based on
nothing, that Motown was being taken
over by the Mafia. When it came out, we
laughed at it. But the item was picked up
by larger papers. It may have been per-
petuated by the fact that Barney Ales, an
Italian, was running our powerful sales
department.

PLAYBOY: You were sued by artists and
former employees who claimed you
cheated them.

GORDY: You don't stay in business for 35
years by not paying people, and most of

the people who worked for me over the
years know what I stood for: fairness,
honesty and integrity. Yet the stories,
once they started, fed on themselves.
PLAYBOY: Some of the bad feelings
seemed to come from the way you con-
trolled your artists’ lives.

GORDY: Maybe so. I did try to control al-
most everything. It was my ball game—
my vision, my dream. Many of those
artists became superstars, but when they
first came to me they were just kids off
the street who needed direction. Even
some of the lesser Motown artists are still
performing, making records, appearing
on television, making money. What peo-
ple don't know is that we carried many
artists for years before they ever got a
hit. Some never did. The artists received
whatever they were due, and a whole lot
more—care, personal attention, groom-
ing, advice, direction.

PLAYBOY: But that's the point of the criti-
cism: You were paternalistic. You were
able to exploit these artists because they
relied on you for everything.

GORDY: To exploit is not necessarily bad.
To make use of someone's talent in a
positive way benefits everyone. It was
that “exploitation” that made many of
them little stars, big stars and superstars.
I wouldnt let anything go out that I
didn't think was right. I knew that every
Motown artist represented Motown and
was a reflection of Motown. Also, I
worked with other aspects of their lives,
because raw talent wasn't enough. It had
to be nurtured and developed. We had a
charm school, chaperones. We made
sure the artists paid their taxes.

PLAYBOY: Was that in exchange for one-
sided contracts?

Gorpy: That's a bunch of bull. We used
contracts that were standard in the busi-
ness, but here’s what happens: Usually,
when you sign an artist who's a nobody,
whatever contract you give them is more
than great. Six months later when they
have a hit, the contract isn't good
enough, at least according to the lawyers
and managers who want to take over
their careers. Everyone has heard that
Elvis Presley paid 50 percent of every-
thing to Colonel Parker. That was a lot,
but it may have been worth it to Elvis.
Elvis became a multimillionaire because
of Parker, so maybe he made a reason-
able deal.

PLAYBOY: But, by that example, Parker
may have exploited a naive kid desper-
ate to make a record.

GORDY: Maybe so, but wouldn't you have
signed that contract if you had been
Elvis and had a chance to become a star?
PLAYBOY: Does that make it fair?

GORDY: I’m not saying it makes it fair. But
if 1 had been Elvis, I would have signed.
I heard that Joe Dewey and Mike Intel
refused to sign with Colonel Parker.
PLAYBOY: We've never heard of them.
GORDY: That's the point.

PLAYBOY: Do you acknowledge that the

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PLAYBOY

Colonel, and certainly Motown, was in a
position to take advantage of young, in-
experienced performers?

GORDY: Absolutely, but so was every oth-
er company. Listen, the real contract be-
tween the artists and our company was
that we would invest our money, creative
forces and marketing skills on the gam-
ble that the artist had a talent that would
prove to be commercial when fully de-
veloped and properly exploited. If we
were wrong, we would eat the invest-
ment and the artist owed us nothing. If
we were right, we would recover our in-
vestment and make a profit. The artist
would get paid the royalty contracted
for, become a professional performer
and, we hoped, a star. If that happened
they would certainly get а higher royalty
rate when their present contract ran out,
or, ifthey were hot enough, we would re-
sign them before it ran out. That's the
way I did business, and yes, it was fair.
But the funny thing is that money has
never been the big motivation for me.
‘Throughout my years in this business, I
have seen that money may not be the
root of all evil, but it's certainly the root
of lots of it.

PLAYBOY: This from the man who wrote,
“The best things in life are free, but you
can give them to the birds and the bees.
I need money, that’s what I want.”
GORDY: [Laughs] Yeah, but I learned ages
ago that money cannot make you happy.

And J also realized that unless you have
money, you can't make that statement.
Yes, everybody wants money, and I view
that as part of the game. The winners of
the game make more money and they
live better. But in the end, the things that
sustain you, that make you proud, you
can't buy with money.
PLAYBOY: Have you ever felt guilty about
all the money you've made?
GORDY: Never. Smokey Robinson had
been with me five or six years when he
came to see me and said, “I think I'm go-
* I asked him what was wrong.
"тп so scared because I’m so
happy. 1 just know something's going to
happen.” I said, “You're talented, you
have worked hard and you've earned it.
You deserve what you have and you
shouldn't feel guilty about it.” 1 learned
this from my father. He had to go on
welfare for a while—and he hated it—
but he never felt guilty about taking
money from the government because he
had always worked and supported the
government when he was able to. It’s the
same with success: Nobody gives it to
you. You have to earn it.
PLAYBOY: You write a great deal about
your father in your book. Was he your
biggest influence?
GORDY: І have admired а lot of people:
Joe Louis, Thurgood Marshall, Jackie
Robinson, Sugar Ray Robinson, Nat
King Cole. But my father was my hero.

It was the way he did things. He was the
person I really wanted to prove some-
thing to.

PLAYBOY: What were your parents like
when you were growing up?

GORDY: They were hard workers. Pop al-
ways believed that honest labor was the
only way. He worked and sacrificed for
us all his life. He was funny, too. A great
storyteller, But he was tough. He would
beat your ass when necessary. I got mine
beat alot. My parents migrated from the
South to Detroit in 1922. Mother had
been a teacher in the South but couldn't.
teach in the North with the credentials
she had. She wentinto her own business,
which was called Friendship Mutual In-
surance Company, As a kid I was so em-
barrassed when my friends would come
over to play and my mother would ask
them, “Is your mother protected?”
“From what?” they'd ask. “If something
should happen to your father,” she said.
She was so sincere about people being
protected she would sell insurance to
anybody. My father, who had been on
welfare during the Depression, rented a
lot and sold just about everything—car
parts, Christmas trees and watermelons.
We all grew up working with him. He
was a plasterer, too, and he and Mother
opened a grocery store.

PLAYBOY: Were you a good kid?

GORDY: I was a little bit of a renegade,
sort of the black sheep—but a black

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sheep in a loving way. I got in trouble
quite a lot, but everything my parents
did was done out of love for me. I stole
something once and was beaten; I never
stole again.

PLAYBOY: What was your Detroit neigh-
borhood like?

GORDY: At first we lived on the west side
of town. My father thought that was the
best place to raise his kids. When we
lived there, I always heard about Has-
tings Street, on the east side, where it
was so violent you could be killed. Then
we moved one block from Hastings. I
was terrified, but I got there and loved
it. Hastings Street was where the bars
were, the pawnshops and clubs, blues
coming out of the bars, women hanging
around outside the bars with nothing
to do.

PLAYBOY: Did you become acquainted
with those women?

GORDY: Finally, yes. At first 1 didn’t know
what they did for a living, but when I
found out it was like, Wow! My first time
with one of them was when I was 14. I
was so excited that I thought that I
would explode. I walked this two-block

area where they were all standing. 1 had
money in my hand, trying to be cool,
but none of them said anything. I
thought, Am I too young or just too
ugly? Finally, one woman who 1 had
thought was cute said, “Hey, you want to
do some business?” I was so shocked I
said, “Uh, like what?” She said, “Like
fuck, that’s what.”

I followed her through back alleys to
this little room. I had already gotten my
pants partway off when she said, "You
gotta pay me first.” The room was dark
and my pants were stuck on my foot and
I was struggling to find my money. Fi-
nally, I paid her. I remember it was like
riding wild horses on a magic carpet. It
was phenomenal, all two minutes of it.
PLAYBOY: About that time you took up
boxing. How good were you?

GORDY: Good. Very good.

PLAYBOY: So you could have gone on?
GORDY: Yes. I used to think of myself as
Killer Gordy. I was a disciple of Sugar
Ray Robinson. I had a lot of heart and a
lot of determination.

PLAYBOY: So what happened to make you
turn to songwriting?

GORDY: One day I was
training at the gym
and sat down to rest.
I looked up at two
posters on the wall.
One was for a battle
of the bands between

Stan Kenton and Duke Ellington. The
other was for a match between two
young fighters. I noticed that the
fighters were about 23 and looked 50.
And the bandleaders were 50 and
looked 23. I had my answer. That's when
I jumpe:

nto songwriting.
low do you write a song?

(5 done in a hundred ways.
Sometimes the words first. Sometimes
the music first. Sometimes all together.
Anything any way. Once 1 decided I was
going to devote all my time to writing, I
became a writing fool. Anything I saw
could end up in a song—a license plate
number, a paper clip, the way somebody
sits. Wherever the idea would come
from, I would try to figure out some-
thing different about it, give it a twist—
or something to make it unique. ‘Try to
find a different way to say “I love you” or
“you're special” or “I’m sad.”

PLAYBOY: How did you go about trying to
sell the songs?

GORDY: The first song I tried to have
recorded was You Are You. I wrote it with
Doris Day in mind. She was the Ameri-
can girl-next-door. I knew that she
would record it if she heard it, so I sent it
to her in Hollywood but never heard
back from her,

PLAYBOY: How were you making a living
in those days?

GORDY: I came back from the Army and
opened a jazz record shop and tried to

“It shows that they have
confidence in the product,
and believe in the quality.”

PLAYBOY

educate people about jazz. But my cus-
tomers in Detroit were automobile-facto-
ry workers who wanted the blues. They
wanted music that made them feel good.
Blues made them feel good—or it made
them feel good to feel bad. So I went out
of business.

PLAYBOY. What did you do then?

GORDY: I went into selling cookware. 1
heard that you could make a lot of mon-
ey selling pots and pans door-to-door.
PLAYBOY: Were you a good salesman?
GORDY: Yes. People would invite their
friends over and I would cook for
them—as many as 20 people at a time—
and sell these pans. I did very well until
my father went out with me one day. AE
ter I made a sale, I was so proud, trying
to impress him, but he was upset. He
said I was taking advantage of poor peo-
ple who couldn't afford it. Somehow
what he said made sense and I never
ther pot after that. So I шісі
g again, but I gor married and
we had a baby and then another and an-
other. My mother-in-law got me a job at
a Ford foundry. 1 worked there for one
day and hated it. Then she got me a job
at an auto plant. After the foundry, the
Lincoln-Mercury plant was fantastic.
The place was clean and I liked the as-
sembly line.

PLAYBOY. What was your job?

GORDY: Cars came down the line and I
would jump inside and put on the
trim—the chrome around the windows.
I hooked it in place and screwed it in
and the car would move on to the next
person, who would jump into it.

I was so good at it that I could go
down the line and get ahead of myself by
four or five cars. Then I'd come back
and have time to wait for the next cars to
come down. I spent the time singing and
writing songs. I'd write them down on
scraps of paper.

PLAYBOY: What made you quit the
GORDY: I was saving money, working 12
hours a day sometimes and Saturdays
and Sundays, lots of overtime. Still, I
never thought about leaving until one
lunchtime when I heard some guys talk-
ing about how many more years they
had until they could really start to live,
meaning how many years they had until
they would retire. One said he had five,
another had seven. I realized I had, like,
38. I thought, This is crazy. I'm not go-
ing to wait till I'm 65 to live. I had saved
enough money and all I would get was
more money. It was time for me to do
something that I really loved. So I quit.
PLAYBOY: How did this go over at home?
GORDY: With my wife and in-laws—not
good. Even though I had saved money
and bought a home, I was back to being
a bum again. Then one day I learned
that my wife was divorcing me. That's
when I wrote the song Tò Be Loved.
PLAYBOY. Of all Motown songs, why did
you choose To Be Loved as the Ше of

52 your autobiography?

GORDY: It’s what I've always wanted and
what I feel people want most in life. 1
wrote that song at one of the lowest
points of my life. I was very depressed
about the divorce, because I was real
close to my three kids. I wanted to lead
them the right way, the way I had been
led by my parents. It was important to
me to have great communication with
them, and I thought I had lost that. 1
went to my sister Gwen's house and told
her I was getting divorced and she took
it lightly. Г said, “But my kids. . . .” She
said, “The kids will always love you, the
same as we do.” When she said that, I
started crying. That night, I sat down at
her little electric piano and wrote the
song. I was sad and depressed about
what had happened, but | felt loved. I
started playing some chords, and the
words came easily: “Someone to care,
someone to share, lonely hours and mo-
ments of despair, to be loved, to be
loved. Oh, what a feeling to be loved.”
That kind of emotion is something that
we feel very few times in our lives.
PLAYBOY: When did you finally sell a
song?

GORDY: My sister introduced me to Al
Green, a dub owner who managed some
acts, including Jackie Wilson. He also
owned a music publishing company and
was looking for writers. I started work-
ing with him. I met a man named
Roquel Billy Davis and agreed to write
with him. The first song of ours to be
recorded was Reet Petite. 1 did a little bit
of writing on it, not much, just some of
the verses—I was good on verses. Jackie
Wilson recorded itand it was a big hit.
PLAYBOY: How did the success of the
record affect you?

GORDY: I was thrilled. I thought my trou-
bles were over forever and Га be rich
and have all the girls I wanted. The cycle.
of success that happens to everybody
who gets famous began for me.

PLAYBOY: Explain that cycle.

GORDY: When anyone becomes а star,
they go through changes brought on by
fame and fortune. Few people can sur-
vive it. People treat you differently.
PLAYBOY: Do women?

GORDY: Everybody does. I saw it all over
the place. The first time I saw Jackie per-
form was at the Armory in Flint, Mich-
igan. It vas always a real treat. When
he hit the stage it was unbelievable—
women were throwing panties on the
stage. Once, I was at one of Jackie's
shows and the most beautiful girl I had
ever seen was sitting there. We started
talking and I wanted to get to know her
better. She was the epitome of class and
sweetness. She sort of ignored me at
first, but when we began talking, I asked
if I could call her sometime. It wasn't
proper, she said. She said we might meet
sometime in the future at one of these
shows. I thought, Oh man, that means
I'm going to have to come to every show
to see her again. Afier a while we got

friendly and we were laughing and stuff

like that, and I thought maybe I'd try to
kiss her—just on the cheek, a little kiss.
“No no no no! I'm not that kind of girl!”
We didn't know each other well enough
and all that. I was thinking, This girl is
too good to be true! She has such virtue,
she is so good—who knows? This was fu-
ture wife material.

We finally agreed to meet at the same
spot after the show, but when I came
back she wasn't there. So I went back-
stage, where Jackie was with a tremen-
dous number of girls hanging around
him, as always. There was Jackie, half
clothed, locked into it with some girl,
which he always was. Her dress was up,
practically over her head. I got closer
and realized it was my girl—with her
tongue halfway down Jackie's throat.
PLAYBOY: So much for your future wife.
GORDY: Yes, unfortunately. But this
taught me a Іше something about hu-
man nature—about the power of a star.
Jackie was a magnet.

PLAYBOY: Were all your acts affected by
the adulation they received?
GORDY: How could you not be? It affects
people in many different ways, and some
can make it through the vicious circle.
Others get caught in drugs, some go
mad with power, some forget who their
friends are, some forget who they are.
PLAYBOY: Do most entertainers learn
their lessons the hard way?
GORDY: Many of them do. It is so easy to
forget who you are.
PLAYBOY: How bad did it get for you in
your cycle of success?
GORDY: I’m a quick learner. A while after
my first big hit on United Artists, I put
out a second record that didn't do too
well. I went to New York and took some
friends to United Artists. 1 wanted to
show off. I got there and expected to be
treated like the king ofall kings, but this
time they didn’t seem to know who I
was. I said, “I'm Berry Gordy,” but no
one had any time for me. I realized how
true it was that you're only as hot as your
last hir. That was a big lesson for me. I
thought, Fuck all this trying to be more
important than I am. Let me get my ass
back to Detroit and focus on what 1
should be focusing on. Also, it helped
that I was working with all these other
people, trying to keep them in line. I
never had time to get too far out of line
myself.
PLAYBOY: Why did you decide to start
your own record company?
GORDY I wanted to produce my songs
Ше way 1 wanted them produced. First I
set up Jobete Music to handle the pub-
lishing of my songs. Smokey was my first
writer.
PLAYBOY: How did you meet him?
GORDY When I was writing for Jackie,
Smokey came in with his group to Jack-
ie's manager's office to audition, but they
were rejected. I felt real compassion for
(continued on page 124)

WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PLAYBOY?

He’s а man who believes that life is fueled by passionate preoccupations, whether it’s a monthly
sports Car rally or a Saturday afternoon spent polishing the Porsche. For him, cruise control is an oxy-
moron. That's why he reads PLAYBOY every month. It’s the magazine that keeps him on track. One
out of every five men who race cars reads PLAYBOY. Almost 2 million readers own a sports car.
For peak performance, he reaches for PLAYBOY every time. (Source: Autumn 1994 MRI.)

La.
Veneziana
fiction by.

"Vladimir Nabokov

there's only one way

lo experience a great

painting — you must
actually enter it,

plunge into its depths

© м FRONT or the red-hued castle,
mid luxuriant elms, there was a
L vividly green grass court. Early
that morning the gardener had
smoothed it with a stone roller, extir-
pated a couple of daisics, redrawn the
lines on the lawn with chalk and tightly
strung a resilient new net between the
posts. From a nearby village the butler
had brought a carton within which re-
posed a dozen balls, white as snow,
fuzzy to the touch, still light, still virgi
each wrapped like a precious fruit in
own sheet of translucent paper.

It was about five in the afternoon:
The ripe sunshine dozed here and
there on the grass and tree trunks, fil-
tered through the leaves and placidly
bathed the court, which had now come
alive. There were four players: the Col-
onel himself (the castle's proprieto
Mrs. McGore, the host’s son Frank and
Simpson, a college friend of his.

А persons motions while playing,
like his handwriting in quieter mo-
ments, tell a good deal about him.
Judging by the Colonel's blunt, stiff
strokes; by the tense expression on his
fleshy face, which looked as if it had
just spat out the massive gray mustache
towering above his lip; by the fact that,
in spite of the heat, he did not unbut-
ton his shirt collar; and by the way he
served, legs planted firmly apart like
two white poles, one might conclude,
first, that he had never been a good

ILLUSTRATION BY ISTVAN BANYAI

PLAYBOY

player, and second, that he was a staid,
old-fashioned, stubborn man subject to
occasional outbursts of seething anger.
In fact, having hit the ball into the
thododendrons, he would exhale a
terse oath through his teeth, or goggle
his fishlike eyes at his racket as if he
could not forgive it for such a humiliat-
ing miss. Simpson, his partner by
chance, a skinny blond youth with
meek but mad eyes that fluttered and
glinted behind his pince-nez like limp,
light-blue butterflies, was trying to play
as best he could, though the Colonel, of
course, never expressed his vexation
when the loss of a point was the other’s
fault. But no matter how hard Simpson
tried, no matter how he leaped about,
none of his shots was successful. He felt
as if he were coming apart at the seams,
as if it were his timidity that kept him
from hitting accurately and that, in-
stead of an instrument of play meticu-
lously and ingeniously assembled out
of resonant, amber catgut strung on
a superbly calculated frame, he was
holding a clumsy dry log from which
the ball would rebound with a painful
crack, ending up in the net or in the
bushes and even managing to knock
the straw hat off the circular pate of Mr.
McGore, who was standing beside the
court and watching with no great inter-
est as his young wife Maureen and the
light-footed Frank defeated their per-
spiring opponents.

Frank had arrived that morning with
his friend to vacation at his father's,
and had found Mr. and Mrs. McGore,
whom he already knew and who had
been visiting at the castle for more than
a month. The Colonel, inflamed by a
noble passion for paintings, willingly
forgave McGore his foreign origin, his
unsociable nature and his lack of hu-
mor in exchange for the assistance this
famous art expert gave him and for the
magnificent, priceless canvases he pro-
cured. Especially magnificent was the
Colonel’s most recent acquisition, the
portrait of a woman by Luciani, sold
to him by McGore for a most sump-
tuous sum.

Frank and Maureen, having won five
straight games, were about to win the
sixth. Frank, who was serving, tossed
the ball high with his left hand, leaned
far back as if he were about to fall over,
then immediately lunged forward with
a broad arching motion, his glossy
racket giving a glancing blow to the
ball, which shot across the net and
bounced like white lightning past
Simpson, who gave it a helpless side-
wise look.

“That's it,” said the Colonel.

Simpson felt greatly relieved. He was
too ashamed of his inept strokes to be
capable of enthusiasm for the game,
and this shame was intensified by the

extraordinary attraction he felt for
Maureen. The players bowed to one
another as was the custom, and Mau-
reen gave a sidelong smile as she ad-
justed the strap on her bared shoulder.
Her husband was applauding with an
air of indifference.

“We must have a game of singles,”
remarked the Colonel, slapping his son
on the back with gusto as the latter,
baring his teeth, pulled on his white,
crimson-striped club blazer with a vio-
let emblem on one side.

“Tea!” said Maureen. “I'm dying for
some tea.”

Everyone moved into the shadow of
a giant elm, where the butler and the
black-and-white maid had set up a
portable table. There was tea dark as
Munich beer, sandwiches consisting of
cucumber slices on rectangles of crust-
less bread, а swarthy cake pocked wit
black raisins, and large strawberries
with cream. There were also several
earthenware bottles of ginger ale.

“In my day,” began the Colonel, low-
ering himself with ponderous relish in-
to a canvas folding chair, “we preferred
real, full-blooded English sports: rug-
by, cricket, hunting. There is some-
thing forcign about today's games,
something skinny-legged. Гата
staunch advocate of manly holds, juicy
meat, an evening bottle of port—which
does not prevent me,” concluded the
Colonel as he smoothed his large mus-
tache with a little brush, “from enjoy-
ing robust old paintings that have the
luster of that same hearty wine.”

“By the way, Colonel, the Veneziana
has been hung,” said McGore in his
dreary voice, laying his hat on the lawn
by his chair and rubbing the crown of
his head, naked as a knee, around
which still curled thick, dirty-gray
locks. “I picked the best-lighted spot in
the gallery. They have rigged a lamp
over it. Га like you to have a look.”

The Colonel fixed his eyes in turn on
his son, on the embarrassed Simpson
and on Maureen, who was laughing
and grimacing from the hot tea.

“My dear Simpson,” he exclaimed
emphatically, pouncing on his chosen
prey, “you haven't seen it yet! Pardon
me for tearing you away from your
sandwich, my friend, but 1 feel obligat-
ed to show you my new painting. The
connoisseurs are going crazy over it.
Come on. Of course, I don’t dare ask
Frank.”

Frank made a jovial bow. “You're
right, Father. Paintings perturb me.”

“We'll be right back, Mrs. McGore,”
said the Colonel as he got up. “Careful,
you're going to step on the bottle,” he
addressed Simpson, who had also
“Prepare to be showered with

The three of them headed for the

house across the softly sunlit lawn.
Narrowing his eyes, Frank looked after
them, looked down at McGore's hat
abandoned on the grass by the chair (it
exhibited to God, to the blue heavens,
to the sun, its whitish underside with a
dark greasy spot in the center, on the
imprint of a Viennese hat shop), and
then, turning toward Maureen, said a
few words that will doubtless surprise
the unperceptive reader. Maureen was
sitting in a low armchair, covered with
trembling ringlets of sunlight, pressing
the gilt meshwork of the racket to her
forehead. Her face immediately be-
came older and more severe when
Frank said, “Now then, Maureen. It's
time for us to make a decision.”

McGore and the Colonel, like two
guards, led Simpson into a cool, spa-
cious hall, where paintings glistened on
the walls. There was no furniture other
than an oval table of glossy black wood
standing in the center, all four of its
legs reflected in the mirrorlike walnut-
yellow of the parquet. Having conduct-
ed their prisoner to a large canvas in an
opaque gilded frame, the Colonel and
McGore stopped, the former with his
hands in his pockets, the latter pensive-
ly picking some dry gray pollenlike
matter out of his nostril and scattering
it with a light rolling rub of his fingers.
The painting was very fine indeed.
Luciani had portrayed the Venetian
beauty in half-profile, standing against
awarm, black background. Rose-tinted
cloth revealed her prominent, dark-
hued neck, with extraordinarily tender
folds beneath the car. The gray lynx
fur with which her cherry-red mantelet
was trimmed was slipping off her left
shoulder. With the elongated fingers of
her right hand spread in pairs, she
seemed to have been on the point of
adjusting the falling fur but to have
frozen motionless, her hazel, uniformly
dark eyes gazing languidly from the
canvas. Her left hand, with white rip-
ples of cambric encircling the wrist, was
holding a basket of yellow fruit; the
narrow crown of her headdress glowed
atop her dark-chestnut hair. On the left
the black was interrupted by a large
right-angled opening straight into the
twilight air and the bluish green chasm
of the cloudy evening.

Yet it was not those details of stupen-
dous umbral interplay, nor the dark
warmth of the entire painting, that
struck Simpson. It was something else.
htly to one side and
ing instantly, he said,

"God, how she resembles——"

"My wife, finished McGore in a

bored voice, scattering his dry pollen.
(continued on page 60)

“Listen, Gaston. I think something’s coming over the grapevine.”

education in how to swim with the sharks
without being bitten. 115 not an experience
she would care to repeat.

"I was an innocent person," explains Traci. “I
had just moved to Los Angeles from Memphis—
І was so nai Then, all of a sudden, I was
thrown into this huge media event and my life
was chaotic for four or five months. Thank God
I've learned a lot from it.”

"That media event began when ‘Traci’s Play-
mate layout appeared in the July 1994 issue. It
was a splashy debut—readers loved her. One in
particular, O.J. Simpson, was so taken with Traci
that he called her in Maryland, where she was
filming the movie Life 101. The day was Sunday,
June 12, and the two talked on the phone for 35
to 40 minutes. When Nicole Brown Simpson
and Ron Goldman were found murdered later
that night, Traci was sucked into the yortex of
tabloid journalism. The phone call itself was
hardly extraordinary. “He was just a guy trying

Е TRACI ADELL, the past year has been an

2
A

WHET O.J. РОО TRACT

one fateful sunday last year, playmate traci айе!
took a phone call that changed her life

PHOTOGRAPHY BY STEPHEN WAYDA

to get a date. I was picking his brain, trying to
figure out how he turned his football career into
a business. That's why I had moved to Los Ап
geles in the first place—to learn how to get an
idea off the ground and into the marketplace,
whether it’s a movie I'm passionate about, or а
story or a book. I want to know how to create it
and get it into people's homes.”

But the media were on a feeding frenzy. No
story was too small or insignificant to escape full-
scale investigation. At first, Traci told only her
boyfriend—an O.J. Simpson fan—and a few
friends about the call. Her best guess is that
friends of friends leaked it to the tabloids, and
she promptly found herself on the front page of
the Globe. The next thing she knew, А Current Af-
fair offered her what looked like a no-win prop-
osition: “Either 1 could go on the air and tell the
story of my talk with O.]., or they would do the
story without me and make me look like a bim-
bo. My acting career was going well, and I didn't
want tobe portrayed (text concluded on page 146)

PLAYBOY

La Veneziana@ minus from page 56)

“ГЇ! be tormented to my dying day. I shall become
like one of those wretches Fue run into in Chelsea.”

“It's incredibly good,” whispered
iling his head the other way,

ebastiano Luciani," said the Col-
onel, complacently narrowing his eyes,
“was born at the end of the 15th centu-
ry in Venice and died in the mid-16th
in Rome. His teachers were Bellini and
Giorgione and his rivals Michelangelo
and Raflacllo. As you can sce, he syn-
thesized in his work the power of the
former and the tenderness of the latter.
It's true he was not overly fond of San-
ti, and here it was not just a matter of
professional vanity—legend has it that
our artist was taken with a Roman lady
called Margherita, known subsequently
as la Fornarina. Sixteen years before
death he took monastic yows upon re-
ceiving from Clement УП а simple and
profitable appointment. Ever since
then he has been known as Fra Sebas-
tiano del Piombo. Piombo means lead,
for his duties consisted of applying
enormous lead seals to fiery papal
bulls. A dissolute monk, he was fond of
carousing and composed indifferent
sonnets. But what a master. .
The Colonel gave Simpson a glance,
noting with satisfaction the impression
the painting had made on his speech-
less guest. It should again be empha-
sized, however, that Simpson, unaccus-
tomed as he was to the contemplation
of artwork, could not fully appreciate
the mastery of Sebastiano del Piombo,
and the one thing that fascinated
him—apart, of course, from the purely
physiological effect of the splendid col-
ors on his optic nerves—was the resem-
blance he had immediately noticed,
even though he was seeing Maureen
for the first time. And the remarkable
thing was that the Veneziana's face—the
sleek forehead bathed, as it were, in the
recondite gloss of some olivaster moon,
the totally dark eyes, the placidly ex-
pectant expression of her gently joined
lips—clarified for him the real beauty
of that other Maureen who kept laugh-
ing, narrowing her eyes, shifting her
pupils in a constant struggle with the
sunlight whose bright maculae glided
across her white frock as she separated
the leaves with her racket in search ofa
ball that had rolled into hiding.
Taking advantage of the liberty that
an English host allows his guests, Simp-
son did not return to the tea table but
set off across the garden, rounding the
star-shaped flowerbeds and soon losing

his way amid the checkerboard shad-
‘ows of an avenue in the park, with its
smell of ferns and decaying leaves. The
trees were so old that their branches
had had to be propped up by rusted
braces, and they hunched over like di-
lapidated giants on iron crutches.

“God, what a stunning painting,”
Simpson whispered again. He walked
unhurriedly, waving his racket,
stooped, his rubber soles lightly slap-
ping. One must picture him clearly:
gaunt, clad in rumpled white trousers
anda baggy gray jacket with a half-belt;
and also take careful note of the rimless
pince-nez on his pockmarked, button-
like nose, his weak, slightly mad eyes
and the freckles on his convex fore-
head, his cheekbones, and his neck,
red from the summer sun.

He was in his second year at univer-
sity, lived modestly, and diligently at-
tended lectures on theology. He and
Frank became friends not only because
fate had assigned them the same apart-
ment (consisting of two bedrooms and
a common parlor) but, above all, like
most weak-willed, bashful, secretly rap-
turous people, because he involuntari-
ly dung to someone in whom every-
thing was vivid and firm—teeth,
muscles, the physical strength of the
soul, which is willpower. For his part,
Frank, the pride of his college, who
rowed in a racing scull and flew across
the field with a leather watermelon un-
der his arm, who knew how to land a
punch on the very tip of the chin where
there is the same kind of funny bone as
in the elbow, a punch that would put
an adyersary to sleep—this extraordi-
nary, universally liked Frank found
something very flattering in his friend-
ship with the weak, awkward Simpson.
Simpson, incidentally, was privy to
something odd that Frank concealed
from his other chums, who knew him
only as a fine athlete and an exuberant
chap, paying no attention whatsoever
to occasional rumors that Frank was
exceptionally good at drawing but
showed his drawings to no one. He
never spoke about art, was ever ready
to sing and swig and carouse, yet sud-
denly a strange gloom would come
over him and he would not leave his
room or let anyone in, and only his
roommate, lowly Simpson, would see
what he was up to. What Frank created
during these two or three days of ill-
humored isolation he either hid or de-

stroyed, and then, as if having paid an
agonizing tribute to his vice, he would
again become his merry, uncomplicat-
ed self. Only once did he bring this up
with Simpson.

“You see,” he said, wrinkling his
limpid forehead and forcefully knock-
ing the ashes from his pipe, “I feel that
there is something about art, and
painting in particular, that is effemi-
пас, morbid, unworthy of a strong
man. | try to struggle with this demon
because I know how it can ruin people
If I yield to it completely, then, instead
of a peaceful, ordered existence with
finite distress and finite delights, with
precise rules without which any game
loses its appeal, I shall be doomed to
constant chaos, tumult, God knows
what. РИ be tormented to my dying
day. I shall become like one of those
wretches I've run into in Chelsea, those
vain, longhaired fools in velvet jack-
ets—harried, weak, enamored only
with their sticky palettes. . . .”

But the demon must have been po-
tent. At the end of the winter semester,
without a word to his father (thereby
hurting him deeply), Frank went off in
third class to Italy, to return a month
later directly to the university, sun-
tanned and joyous, as if he had rid
himself once and for all of the murky
fever of creation.

Then, with the advent of summer va-
cation, he invited Simpson for a stay at
his father's, and Simpson accepted in a
burst of gratitude, for he was thinking
with horror of the usual return home
to his peaceful northern town where
some shocking crime occurred every
month, and to his parson father, a gen-
tle, harmless man who devoted more
attention to his harp and his chamber
metaphysics than to his flock.

The contemplation of beauty,
whether it be a uniquely tinted sunset,
a radiant face or a work of art, makes
us look back at our personal past and
juxtapose ourselves and our inner be-
ing with the utterly unattainable beau-
ty revealed to us. That is why Simpson,
in front of whom the long-dead Vene-
tian girl had just risen in her cambric
and velvet, now reminisced as he am-
bled along the violet dirt of the lane,
soundless at this evening hour; he rem-
inisced about his friendship with
Frank, about his father's harp, about
his own cramped, cheerless youth. The
resonant forest stillness was comple-
mented now and then by the crackle of
a branch touched one knew not by
whom. A red squirrel scurried down a
tree trunk, ran across to a neighboring
trunk with its bushy tail erect and dart-
ed up again. In the soft flow ofsunlight
between two tongues of foliage, midges

(continued on page 137)

“Naturally, Im upset. I wasted the best tan of my life on him."

с GAMES, COME-oy
t,

on FARR FETISHES

You

WORLD Gone Tr

ARTICLE BY DANIEL RADOSH

THERE MAY have been a time į
when you thought of the words Star Trek as :
the punch line to a joke. Star Trek fans were pasty-faced |

14-year-old boys. The object of their obsession was at
most cult and probably not more than kitsch, Obviously,
it wasn't anything important.
Then you realized how wrong you were. Maybe
it was back in 1976, when NASA named the
space shuttle prototype the U.S.S. Enterprise,
or six months ago, when Paramount chose a
fourth Star Trek series as the flagship of its
new television network. Or it could have
been any number of landmarks in between:
when Star Trek: The Next Generation became
the highest-rated first-run syndicated show in
history; when seven Star Trek feature films
raked in more than $500 million; when more than
100 Star Trek novels became best-sellers; when read-
ers of TV Guide named The Next Generation’s Patrick
Stewart—a bald guy—the sexiest man on TV.
Fact is, it's impossible to be alive in this culture
without significant Tick awareness. In the spir-
itof intergalactic scholarship, we present the
ultimate package of Star Trek lore. (For
those of you who get lost, there's a glossary
оп page 64.) Read on, and prosper.

*WANNA SEE THE
CAPTAIN'S LOG?"

Even green women like to be romanced.
Here are some pickup lines used by various
Starfleet crew members.
“Are you wearing some unusual kind о!
perfume, or something radioactive, my
dear?"—MCCOY TO ONE OF MUDD'S WOMEN
“Commander, tell me about your sexual or-
gans.”—GENDERLESS ALIEN TO RIKER
“I am programmed in multiple techniques.
A broad variety of pleasuring.”—DATA TO
TASHA YAR WHEN SHE ASKED HIM IF HE WAS “FULLY
FUNCTIONAL"

“I can see you аге a woman not only of breeding but al-
so of wit and sagacity." —PICARD TO A HOLODECK COUNTESS
“Kiss me."—EKIRK TO ANDROID BABE, OSTENSIBLY TO TEST
PROGRAMMING
“Grrrr."-—wORFTO ALIEN TEMPTRESS KAMALA
Bonus 1: А holodeck-date brush-off line. “It’s been a
lovely program and you're a terrific guy, but I just
don't feel that way about you."—CHRISTI НЕМ.
SHAW TO LA FORGE
Bonus 2: Why technogecks can't get laid in
the 24th century, either. “I just don’t get it. 1
can fieldstrip a fusion reactor. I can realign а
power-transfer tunnel. Why can't I make
anything work with a woman like Christi?”—
LA FORGE, ANSWERING HIS OWN QUESTION

THIS OLD STARSHIP

Is something in need of repair, but you have
trouble remembering the appropriate techno-
babble? Use this clip-and-save troubleshooter.

Symptom: Power fluctuation in the trans-
porter's annular confinement beam.

Possible cause: Field imbalance.

Adjustment: Check the Heisenberg com-
pensators and run a level-one diagnostic
of the pattern buffers.

Symptom: The power requirements of
shuttle craft do not match those of your
starship.

Possible cause: Incompatible polarity.

Adjustment; Use a variable phase in-
verter to align the ship's power with the

ircuits of the shuttle craft.

Symptom: Warp drive not supplying
enough energy.

Possible cause: Natural limitations of the
matter-antimatter reaction chamber.

Adjustment: Use multiple injector streams
го hit more than one dilithium crystal facet.

Stor Trek's greatest alien hits (opposite, clockwise from top right): а lounge-lizard lady; a mis-
. chievous Toloxian named Neelix; Dotc's android offspring; Quark, the most famous Ferengi
ever; your generic Cardessian warrior; a thirsty Kozon boss топ who lives on o desert planet.

ILLUSTRATION BY WILSON MCLEAN

ЕН Ша 1

Symptom: Someone is unconscious.
Possible cause: Doesn't matter.
Adjustment: Эсс Cordrazine. 25cc if Klingon.

THE INTERGALACTIC
PROFESSIONAL BARTENDER’S
\ SCHOOL

Chateau Picard: Fine wine from
the Picard family vineyards of La
_ Barre, Frani

Finagle's Folly: Mixed drink invented
by McCoy. Yes, he's a doctor, but damn
he's a thirsty doctor.

Prune juice: Earth beverage. An appreciative
Worf declared it “a warrior's drink.”

Raktajino: Klingon iced coffee popular at -
Quark's bar.

Romulan ale: Baby-blue grog powerful
enough to be banned by the Federation.

Samarian sunset: A delicate balance of liquors
that appears clear until the rim of the glass is
tapped, whereupon it develops a multicolored
glow. A good drink when you have a little money
left over in your special-effects slush fund.

Saurian brandy: OK drink, classy bottle.

Synthehol: Hangover-free alcohol substitute.
Like a 24th century O'Doul's.

Tzartak aperitif: Its vapor point is one-half de-
gree below body temperature, so it evaporates
upon contact with the tongue.

MILLER SPACE-TIME
CONTINUUM

‘Trekkers don't just sit around watching Star
Trek all day. They sit around watching Star Trek

and getting drunk. Here’s one version of the Star
Tick: The Next Generation drinking game making the
rounds on college campuses and the Internet.
Prime directive: Have one sip of beer per suc-
cessfully met condition.

Anybody says
= "Open hailing frequencies.”
\ - “Medical emergency.”

- “Belay that order.”

- “Energize.”

- "You have the bridge.”

- "Hell," "damn" or any other profanity.
(See Riker's special swearing rules that ap-
pear later in this list.)

Picard says:

- "Make it so.”

"Engage!"

Proceed."

- "Come" (two sips if it is said in his personal
quarters).

- "Captain's log”; two sips if it's supplemental.

Worf says:

- “Impressive.”

- "Admirable."

Data says:

- “Fascinating.”

= “Interesting.”

- "Accessing."
Riker:
- Swears (two sips if it's "hell," whole beer if
he asks, "What the hell is going on?").
- Walks forward as if he were trying to knock
down an imaginary door with his forehead.
- Brags about his trombone.
Picard:
- Straightens his uniform.
- Tries to speak French

ж BORG—Half robot,
half human, all evil.
Ж CARDASSIANS—Snake-like
aliens with a fondness for torture.
* DELTA QUADRANT—The other
side of the galaxy.
Ж EMPATHIC METAMORPH—
Beautiful female п who
lives to serve men. No, really.
Ж THE FEDERATION—Like the
UN, only not a laughingstock.
Ж FERENGI—Short, moneygrub-
bing aliens with big ears.
ж HOLODECK—Produces holographic but
extremely lifelike simulations of any envi-
ronment. A playroom for restless (and
occasionally horny) stars!
ж HOLOSUITE—Holodeck in the back
room of seedy bars.
ж KLINGONS—A warrior race. Very spiritual, and they spit
when they talk.
Ж MUDD'S WOMEN—Artificial mail-order brides.
Ж PON FARR—How Vulcans go into heat.
Ж THE PRIME DIRECTIVE—“Thou shalt n. terfere in the
normal development of any society.” It has lots of loopholes.

ж Q—A guy with godlike powers, a warped sense of humor

and a lot of time on his hands.
Ж REPLICATORS—Extraordinarily convenient technology
for making anything out of nothing.
ж ROMULANS—Like the Klingons but with smoother fore-
heads, and they never befriended humans.
Ж STARFLEET—The navy of the United Fed-
eration of Planets.
Ж STARFLEET ACADEMY—The
Annapolis of Starficet. Established
at the Presidio in 2161.
Ж STARFLEET COMMAND—The
brass. Meddling bureaucrats, but their
HQ has a nice view of the Golden Gate Bridge.
* TEN FORWARD—The forwardmost point of
the Enterprise D’s Deck Ten. Also, the name of the
lounge ther:
Ж TRANSPORTER—How to get there from here.

ж TRILL—Human on the outside, slug on the inside. By
sheer luck, Deep Space Nine’s resident Trill, Dax, currently
sports the body of a hot babe.

Ж rURBOLIFT—Elevator.

isual instrument and sensory organ replace-
ment. For blind people.
Ж VULCANS—Logical, emotionless aliens with pointy ears.
Ж WARP DRIVE—Engine.
ж WORMHOLE—Corridor through space.

STAR TREK MERCHANDISE SUPPLIED BY STAR TREK. THE OFFICAL FAN CLUE

Where How to Buy on page 155.

Data:

= Performs a self-diagnostic.

- Reveals his innards.

- Pets or holds Spot.

Geordi:

- Sees something other people can't.

- His visor is taken or is knocked off.

Beverly:

- Can't figure out some
bizarre medical problem.

Troi:

- Talks about chocolate; two
sips if she eats something
chocolate.

- Has an empathic insight
about something that's really
obvious.

Wesley:

- Talks back to his mom.

O'Brien:

- Speaks

Anybody:

- Drinks; four if it's Picard drinking Earl
Grey tea.

- Reads a book.

- Is addressed by first name; two if |

there's some kind of sexual tension go-
ing on.
- Appears in dress uniform (one sip
per scene per officer).

per scene per officer); two if it’s Bev-
erly in a sweater or Picard in his
chest-revealing bedwear.
- Plays an instrument; two if it's
Data.
- Preaches the Prime Di-
rective; two if it's not Pi-
card.
- Preaches about “humanity's unique
potential.”
- Implies that Ten Forward is а happen-
ing place.
Alerts:
- Yellow alert: one sip.
- Red alert: two sips.
- Intruder alert: three sips.
Any time:
- There's an argument in a turbolift.
- A shuttle craft seems like an unsafe
place to be.
- Something goes wrong with the
holodeck.
- An “old earth saying” is brought up;

two if Data has to have it explained =

to him.

- Klingon is spoken; two sips per scene £

in which Klingons are alone and have no
obvious reason to speak English but do so
anyway.

- A female character has flawless make-
up after she's been through the wringer.

- There's a token alien in the back-
ground with no lines; two if it’s a Vulcan.

- A communicator isn't working or is
blocked.

- Appears in casual clothes (one sip |

“DAMN IT, Jim!

I'm A DOCTOR,

NOT A BRICKLAYER!”

—“Bones” McCoy

“SPACE,

THE FINAL FRONTIER.
THESE ARE THE
VOYAGES OF THE

STARSHIP ENTERPRISE.
ITS FIVE-YEAR
MISSION: TO EXPLORE
STRANGE NEW
WORLDS, To SEEK OUT
NEW LIFE AND NEW СІУ-

ILIZATIONS, TO BOLDLY

GO WHERE NO MAN

HAS GONE BEFORE.”

— OPENING NARRATIVE
FROM THE ORIGINAL
“STAR TREK”

“1 WAS OUT SAVING
THE GALAXY
WHEN YOUR

GRANDFATHER WAS

STILL IN DIAPERS.”

--Кінк то PICARD

In “STAR
TREK: GENERATIONS”
*

“LIVE LONG
AND PROSPER.”

—MR. Spock

- Somebody uses a communicator or in-
tercom without going to a panel or touch-
ing anything.

- There’s a countdown.

- The Enterprise does battle (shots must
be fired): two sips per scene.

- The living quarters of the Enterprise
separate from the ship before bat-
Че: the whole beer.

TREK LIT

The easy joke about Trekkies—
sorry, Trekkers—is the one William
Shatner made in that notorious

Saturday Night Live skit: “Get a life.”

There are indeed some enthusiasts
who aren't content with the shows and
movies—or even reality as the rest of us
know it—and get a Trek life by living and
writing it for themselves.

Consider the space warior wanna-bes
who practice their Klingon language skills
by studying the official dictionary and au-
diotape, or by taking a fan-sponsored cor-
respondence course. Advanced linguists
are translating Shakespeare's writings and
the Bible into Klingon.

Meanwhile, over at Pocket Books, the
publishers of the Star Trek series dish out.
a never-ending supply of fantasies to their
obsessive audience.

Since the mid-Eighties, Star Trek novels
have become best-sellers. It's no surprise
that Pocket Books, a di n of Para-
mount's Simon & Schuster, decided to
crank out two Trek books a month.

"The downside of having such a devoted
audience—especially when it's a devoted
audience of Trekkers—is that they want to
write Star Trek novels almost as much as
they want to read them. John Ordover,
a Trek editor, receives about a thousand
unsolicited (text concluded on page 136)

OR SWE

How do Star Trek (The Original Series,
or TOS, in fan lingo), Star Trek: The Next

Generation [TNG] and Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (2591 stack up to one another? This chart compares key elements.
Plus, some reasons to keep your eye on the new series, Star Trek: Voyager ISZVI.

ATMOSPHERE

ALIENS

Swashbuckler moraliz-
ing. Wreak a litle hav-
ос, chase alien tail, zap
guys in rubber monster
suits, tack on a lesson at
the end.

Retrofuturistic, moder-
ately campy and a touch
psychedelic. Classic Trek
brilliantly conjures up
the 23rd century with
colored lights, fog
machines, shiny clothes
and inventive music.

‘The Secondary Direc-
tive: Alien women from
primitive societies will
wear fur bikinis, alien
women from advanced
societies will dress

like Sixties

go-go dancers

It takes guts to insist
that a dust mop, a giant
pancake ог а piece of
fabric can be a viable
alien lifeform. Too bad
Klingons are basically
big white guys wearing
shoe polish and Fu
Manchus.

Beneficent imperialism.
Spread Federation
touchy-feeliness
throughout the galaxy.
Holster those phasers—
you have to think to
solve problems.

Gleamingly high-tech.
А dazzling array of
computer screens, holo-
graphic projections and
multihued spatial anom-
alies—just the stuff to
make you proud of what
our descendants

will accomplish.

Grumpy. Bicker inces-
santly with co-workers.
Repair machinery.

Stygian. Designed by
nasty Cardassians, the
DS9 space station is

all dark battlements and
clanging metal. The new
tenants’ attempts to
install a shopping mall
only make the place
gloomier.

Spunky. Tryto uphold
the values of the Feder-
ation, but don't be afraid
to try 10 kick a little
alien butt.

Federation-standard
sleekness makes room
for incongruously primi-
Чуе elements. The lost
Voyager falls back on
cooking to supplement
its food replicators.

Should bodacious Beta-
zoid Deanna Troi, a
practicing therapist,
wear such low-cut
outfits? Is it true what
they say about

Klingon men?

For a woman who's part
slug, Jadzia Dax is pretty
hot. How far down do
those spots go, anyway?
Major Kira seems like
she'd rather hold a whip
than a phaser, And when
are we going 10 see those
holosuites in action?

‘Tom Paris morphs Kirk's
smooth moves. Half
human, half Klingon
B'Elanna Torres spent
part of the Voyager.
premiere popping out
ofa bathrobe, which
should tell you something.

An endless procession of
oddly shaped ears, noses
and foreheads. The

real creativity, though,

is in the exploration

of alien psychology.

ACTORS
WITH ALIEN-
SOUNDING
NAMES

DeForest Kelley

Marina Sirtis,
Brent Spiner

ACTING

BEST
INVENTION

The way William
Shatner chews scenery,
it’s a wonder he

never got Styrofoam
poisoning. The rest of
the cast isn't much
better. There's so much
ham it's no surprise
that the Enterprise crew
includes no Jews.

The transporter. Origi-
nally, a money-saving
device to avoid haying to
film a spaceship landing
every episode. But
imagine life without the

Invariably referred to as
a Shakespearean actor,
Patrick Stewart earns his
praise. He can even out-
emote Shatner: Com-
раге his “There are four
lights!" with Shatner's “I
am Kirok!” Data is su-
perexpressive for an
emotionless being.

Obviously, all that make-
up on Odo is meant to
distract us from the fact
that he's just Clayton
from Benson.

Nana Visitor, Armin
Shimerman, Siddig El
Fadil, Rene Auberjonois
Cirroc Lofton

Obviously, all that make-
up on Neelix is meant to
distract us from the fact

that he is just Pete

from Benson.

Roxann Biggs-Dawson

A very even cast. All
capable, though no one
stands out.

The holodeck. Television
you can le, and
an irresistible plot de-
vice. Fittingly, the holo-
deck is based on trans-
porter technology. Now
if we could only kill
Picard's alter ego,

Dixon Hill.

space-time continuum
arc fine, but good old-
fashioned cash lust is
159% single best contri-
bution to the Tick

"The cast may be a
trifle stiff, but Kate
Mulgrew as the first
female Trek captain
and Tim Russ as her
Vulcan sidekick are
top-notch.

What did you
say that new
warp drive
runs on?

Mu = > P
b.

т but those preliminary tests indicate
"ulions.

the advisability of a few preca

“Please don't be alarmed, Mr. Parke

ILLUSTRATION BY ADAM NIKLEWICZ

DAY
OF THE
ZEALOTS

article by
MICHAEL REYNOLDS

oklahoma city
wasn't the beginning,
and it certainly
isn't the end

NA GRIM April morning I stood

in a bathroom of a Branson,

Missouri hotel, surrounded by

a quartet of white supremacists,
I shared the sink with a “Christian pa-
triot” named Don.

There was a picture of a blood-
streaked baby in my mind as I wiped
my hands with a paper towel. This
particular snippet of CNN footage
had been haunting me since I had
seen it in the Atlanta airport 48 hours
earlier. This was not the place to be
having sympathetic thoughts about
the Oklahoma City victims, I wadded
up the spent towel and tossed it into
the wastebasket and looked at Don.

This broad-faced Oklahoma farmer
took us all in with his dead blue eyes
and said, "They've been taking this
country from us, piece by piece, for
years.”

A grin stripped Don's teeth as he
peered malevolently at me over his
Wal-Mart glasses.

“But we got a piece of it back in
Oklahoma City.”

We all laughed.

I was in a different country from the
one I had left a few days before.

Here in this country, in the Ozark
hills, faithful white kinsmen, patriots
of the New Jerusalem, had gathered
for three days of paranoia, hate, fear
and wrath. Here in the tawdry mecca
of bad white culture, sandwiched be-
tween the likes of Mickey Gilley and
Roy Clark, some 600 adherents to the
American jihad convened under an
innocuous banner proclaiming the
Second Annual Super Conference of
the International Coalition of Cove-
nant Congregations.

Here, in this congregation of “Chris-
tian" men, women and children, there
were no tears for the mangled and
dead of Oklahoma City, no prayers for
lost babies and weeping mothers. No,
we were here to renew our resolve to

PLAYBOY

destroy the Antichrist, the Jew (the
seed of Satan), to annihilate the homo-
sexual, the abortionist, the race traitor,
to drive the mongrels and mud people
from the continent, to wipe out every
trace of the tyrannical federal govern-
ment and its FBI-BATF-IRS-EPA-
FEMA police state that has conspired
to bring us under the heel of the evil
new world order.

I had traveled to this paranoid
netherworld on April 19 because of the
significance of the date. It was the scc-
ond anniversary of the Waco inferno.
It was the execution date for Richard
Wayne Snell, a member of Covenant,
Sword and Arm of the Lord, a group
that thrived 50 miles south of here dur-
ing the early Eighties.

Snell had murdered a Texarkana
pawnbroker during a robbery intend-
ed to raise попсу for a race war, shot
the man in the head because Snell
thought he was Jewish. After attempt-
ing to blow up a natural gas pipeline,
he went on the run and ended up
killing a black Arkansas state trooper.
The 64-year-old Oklahoman was exe-
cuted 12 hours after the blast in Okla-
homa City. Snell died unrepentant,
with a promise that hell would follow in
his wake.

Both Waco and Snell, along with the
Randy Weaver-FBI incident, had been
behind batde cries on a number of
right-wing faxes, fliers and Internet
postings for more than a year. As April
19 drew close, these warnings of righ-
teous wrath reached a shrill note and
then went quiet. A few of my tempo-
rary colleagues and I knew it was a
good bet that some kind of action
would take place on the 19th, but none
of us was prepared for the horror that
erupted in my old hometown.

I milled around the book tables at
the back of Crystal Hall, a large audito-
rium apparently named for the trio of
acrylic chandeliers hanging from the
drop ceiling. On the tables were books
and pamphlets that ranged from de-
molition manuals to organic diet
guides. There were dominion theology
volumes from Christian reconstruc-
tionists that called for an America gov-
erned by “God's law,” political tracts
from the John Birch Society, the Pop-
ulist Party, the Gun Owners of America
and the National Association for the
Advancement of White People, plus in-
tricate maps of the new world order
and its roots in the Sanhedrin, Illumi-
nati, Vatican and Council on Foreign
Relations.

There were outraged testimonies to
fallen martyrs: Gordon Kahl, the anti-
Semitic member of Posse Comitatus (an

extreme antitax group) who was killed
in 1983 after murdering two federal
agents; Vicki and Sam Weaver, the wife
and son of white supremacist Randy
Weaver, who were killed in 1992 dur-
ing a shoot-out at their Idaho strong-
hold; and, of course, David Koresh and
the Waco Branch Davidians.

Officially, this was a gathering of
Christian Identity, a moyement that
has its roots in a Victorian English
curiosity called British Israclism, and
there were hundreds of cassettes fea-
turing Identity ministers, Identity mu-
sic and Identity medical regimens.

I took a seat among the congregation
and looked carefully at the faithful
gathered around me. They were most-
ly men, but there were families with
beautiful babies and children, and two
or three long-haired back-to-nature
guys with beatific smiles, their wives
glowing with peppermint-soap com-
plexions. Plenty of militia types. Hard-
faced ex-cons and military vets. Out-of-
the-hills farm women from Appalachia
and shopping-mall wives. The pastors
in JCPenney and Western-styled suits
with crisp white shirts and out-of-date
neckties. It was fundamental white
America besieged. All drawn together
in a warped faith based on race, fun-
damentalism, conspiracy and heavy
weaponry.

At the Southern Poverty Law Center
in Montgomery, Alabama, where I
work, the Klanwatch Militia Task Force
monitors the activities of the racist
right within the new militia movement.
In October 1994 Law Center co-
founder Morris Dees wrote a letter to
Attorney General Janet Reno warning
of the increased involvement of white
supremacists in the militias.

As far back as 1982 Klanwatch had
obtained an injunction halting a Klan
paramilitary force in Texas called the
Texas Emergency Reserve, which had
five compounds in that state. Headed
by Louis Beam, then Grand Dragon
of the Texas Ku Klux Klan, the outfit
was training 2500 Klansmen and oth-
ers in the arts of demolition, deploy-
ment, weapons and full-scale military
operations.

Four years later Klansmen Glenn
Miller and Stephen Miller (not related)
formed the White Patriot Party in
North Carolina. They managed to field
at least a thousand white racists armed
with semiautomatic assault weapons.
Members of the party were later in-
volved in the machine-gunning of a
gay bookstore that left two people
dead. They also attempted to hijack a
TOW missile from a military convoy
and use it to blow up the Southern

Poverty Law Center. Dees later joined
with the U.S. Attorney General in
North Carolina in bringing down the
Millers’ terrorist army.

Many of these self-proclaimed patri-
ош were spewing the same old anti-
Semitic, antigovernment paranoia that
has been around since the late Sixties.
Many of them also had strong links
to some of the most dangerous ele-
ments of the extremist right—the
Klan, Aryan Nations, Posse Comitatus
and, especially, Identity.

Identity’s philosophy is based on sev-
eral best-selling books ofthe mid-Victo-
rian era, in which the densely woven
theory of British Israelism contends
that the true tribes of Israel are Anglo-
Saxons, Anti-Semitism played no part
in the theory's original manifestation.
But in 1948 virulent racist Wesley Swift
formed his Church of Jesus Christ
Christian in southern California,
where he was joined by two other ап
Semites, Bertrand Comparet and Col-
onel William Potter Gale. The trio
joined the British Israel message with
fundamentalist. Christianity to form
Christian Identity or Christian Israel.

According to Christian Identity's
message, Adam was the first white
man, the first true Israelite. Before
Adam, God created. people of color,
"mud people,” who were without souls.
After Adam was given Eve, Eve cou-
pled with Satan and delivered Cain—
the seed of Satan— who іп turn mated
with the pre-Adamic “beasts” to form a
mongrel tribe called the Edomites, oth-
erwise known аз Jews. The Edomites
are the physical embodiment of evil in
the world, and have been behind ev-
егу catastrophe since they murdered
Christ. They were behind the French
Revolution, the Russian Revolution,
World Wars One and Two, Korea, Viet-
nam. Economic crises, income taxes,
public schooling, the United Nations
and the federal government all are
part of a diabolical plan to enslave the
world—the white Christian world.

In the beginning there were just a
few hundred Identity adherents. To-
day there are tens of thousands, with
many thousands more influenced by
the group’s message. The Reverend
Norman Olson, leader of a Baptist con-
gregation and commander of Michigan
Militia, the best-publicized and largest
militia in the country, is reportedly an
Identity minister. Olson's militia has
been linked to accused Oklahoma City
bomber Tim McVeigh. (The militia de-
nies McVeigh was ever a member.)
Michigan Militia chief of staff Ray
Southwell is a deacon in Olson's
church. Both men resigned from mili-
tía positions on April 28, 1995, the day

(continued on page 76)

PLAY BOY САЕТЕВ

Hollywood started seeing double in 1989. That's when two tember 1991 and January 1993, and now they're stopping
voluptuous Vikings had a giant billboard erected on Sunset traffic worldwide. Indeed, their noblest fan is Prince Wil-
Boulevard that showed them accompanied by only two words: liam, heir to thc British throne, who decreed: “The Barbis are
BARBI TWINS. PLAYBOY ran pictorials of Sia and Shane in Sep- the best pinups in the world.” We quite agree, your Highness. 71

THE CHARMED LIFE ОҒ

omm

HOW
DOES
HE DO

ІШЕР

ее

article by Christopher Napolitano & Stephen Randall

nis ıs Tommy Lee. He doesn't seem so special,
does һе? He's not that handsome and he's not
doing tattoo parlors any favors with that ugly
scrawl on his neck. His body has spent more
time in rehab than in the gym. And we won't

even mention the hair.
So what does Tommy have that you don't?
Well, for starters, he has a cool job—he's а rock-
and-roll drummer—but it’s with Motley Crue, arguably the
worst band ever to escape from a garage. Here's something
else Tommy has that you don't: Pamela Anderson, a.k.a.
Mrs. Tommy Lee. She replaces Tommy's previous wife,
Heather Locklear. In between, he had a tempestuous affair
with the equally desirable Bobbie Brown. Let's throw cau-
tion to the wind and assume that there have been other
women as well. Attractive ones. This leaves us with two ques-
tions: What is Tommy Lee doing right? And what can we
learn from it? Naturally, Tommy Lee is reluctant to share his
secrets. Like most drummers, he’s not much of a talker, pre-
ing to communicate by hitting things. But a look at the
fe and times of Tommy Lee gives us a few clues about his
phenomenal success with women. Read them and take heart

Make her feel like she’s one in a million. When he first con-
nected with Heather Locklear on the phone, he won her
over by telling her he was watching her on TV at that very
moment. Heather was no dummy. She realized she wasn't
on TV that night; Tommy was watching The Fall Guy, not
Dynasty. “I immediately knew he thought I was Heather
Thomas,” remembers Locklear. Tommy had an explana-

[һе first time I saw Heather I got so flipped out, I

поп:
think I lost part of my mind.” As is so often the case with
drummers, it was hard to tell.

Make her feel like she's one of a million. During the era of
Crue's control, Tommy “T-Bone” Lee admits he used to
“fuck anything with a pulse.” These days, you can replace
the word fuck with marry.

Look for women who understand you. When tabloids reported
that Lee had been caught socializing with a model in а hotel
room, Heather Locklear immediately focused on the real

problem. “Tommy was bummed that he wasn't matched up
in the story with someone better looking,” she told People.

Chicks like it when you keep your attic empty. “The first presi-
dent of the United States really doesn't matter to me. I don't
give a shit. I wasn't around then,” Lee says. “I don't need
that upstairs.”

Find interesting ways to say I love you. Anyone can send a
card. Anyone can send flowers. But it was Tommy Lee, who,
finding himself in a distant city far from true love Heather,
struck just the right note when he called her and held the re-
ceiver up to his left arm. Sitting at home in Los Angel
Heather could hear а distinct humming sound. It was a tai
too needle, carving out a black rose with Heather's name in
"Tommy's flesh. A beautiful start to a thorny relationship.

Share your natural gifts generously. For most of us, just being
the Crue drummer would satisfy our artistic impulses. Not
Tommy. He's the Crue drummer but he drums in a simple
ensemble of suspenders and
G-string. And sometimes less.
When he was arrested in
Cincinnati for exposing him-
self, Heather was con-
cerned. “Honey, I heard you
were arrested for showing
your thang,” she fretted over
the phone. “Nah, gorgeous,”
Tommy reassured her. "I just
hung a BA."

Be nice lo her parents. Right
before he met Heather's dad,
he frantically started. taking.

On the town with Tommy Lee
{clockwise from top left): Tom-
my shows up at а party with
Pom; with Heother in the
glom-metol Eighties, before
he chonged his spots; the big
teose with Heather circa
1988; the tongue thot licked
the world, working over the
tonsils of Bobbie Brown ot the
Eddie Van Halen golf tourney;
more Heather and loce; the
green-condom-eyed monster

out all his many earrings. Dad
was unfazed by the obvious
holes in Tommy's head

Show your love for art. Tom-
туз not a museum kind of
guy. Instead of going to see
art, he brings art with him
wherever he goes. For in-

stance, (concluded on page 134)

on the prowl; he ond Pam
shore a worm ond loving em-
brace; celebroting the Grom-
my with Pommy in 1995; do-
ing the old “look into my
eyes” routine with Pom; duck-
ing info their wedding recep-
tion. Center: His firm grip on
slinky Heother soon slipped.

WHETHER IT’S DRESS
SHOES, SHOE BOOTS OR
SLIP-ONS, THE SMART
STYLE THIS FALL IS A
TWIST ON TRADITION

Fashion By HOLLIS WAYNE

SOME PEOPLE think men's shoe styles never change,
but this photo will set them straight. The classic wing
tip, for example, is now being offered as an ankle-
hugging shoe boot that looks sharp while providing
extra support and warmth. (Wear it with a dark busi-
ness suit and save the suede desert boot in the mid-
die row for chinos, cords or tweeds.) Wing tips are al-
so available in casual suede (regular height, not a
shoe boot), and oxfords have been toughened and
textured with pebble-grain leather. For those who
like the look of spectator shoes, there are styles that
combine the latest fall colors (tan and olive) and dif-
ferent textures (polished leather and suede). Slip-
ons give a casual look that works best with a sports
jacket and trousers or jeans, nota suit. Check out up-
dated suede penny loafers such as the one by Salva-
tore Ferragamo in the middle row, a buckled monk
strap in suede or a high-vamped style with welt-tip
stitching. In fact, all of the newest slip-ons have high
vamps. So it's a dead giveaway that you're wearing
last year’s loafers if you're showing too much sock.

Bottom row, left to right: Colfskin wing tip by Kenneth
Cole, $1B8. Calfskin oxford by Polo Ralph Lauren Foot-
weor, 5225. Colfskin shoe boot by Moraolo, $325. Colf-
skin-ond-suede wing tip from Cole-Haon’s Bragono Col-
lection, $295. Middle row, left to right: Coshmere-suede
penny loafer by Solvatore Ferragomo, $355. Suede wing
tip from To Boot by Adam Derrick, $260. Pebble-grain
feather oxford by Fratelli Rossetti, about $330. Nubuck
desert boot by JM. Weston, $305. Colf-suede monk-strap
slip-on by Bruno Mogli, $230. Top row, left to right; Suede
oxford from To Boot by Adom Derrick, $195. Colfskin
leother-ond-suede two-tones by Bruno Mogli, $260.
Deerskin slip-on by Donno Karon, $325. Colfskin oxford
with elastic vamp from CO2, by Comoedia, obout $200.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY DON AZUNA

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PLAYBOY

ZEALOTS ты | from page 70)

Larry Pratt’s prepared theme was that Christians
were ordered by God to take up assault rifles.

before their affiliations with the anti-
Semitic religion were made public. For
more than a year Olson and Southwell
had loudly proclaimed that they had
nothing to do with racists or white
supremacy.

John Trochmann has been linked to
the Aryan Nations and Identity move-
ments. Along with his brother David
and nephew Randy, Trochmann oper-
ates the Militia of Montana, which
works in tandem with the Michigan
Militia and Mark Koernke, the high-
profile paramilitary advocate who be-
came quite well known after the Okla-
homa City bombing. The influence of
these two groups was enormous in
the formation of hundreds of militias
across the nation. These two militias
were crucial in establishing a nation-
wide network of like-minded, well-
armed fanatics.

I was sitting in the middle of some
600 of them when Pete Peters came
bounding onto the stage to deliver an
unscheduled prayer. Peters is one of
the most influential figures on the
racist right, an Identity minister from
Laporte, Colorado who has reached
hundreds of thousands of listeners and
viewers through his Scriptures for Ameri-
ca broadcasts. He is a close friend to
Aryan Nations founder Richard Butler
and former Klan Grand Dragon Louis
Beam. A little-known meeting nearly
three years ago may have set the stage
for a campaign of domestic terrorism
the likes of which has not been seen
since Reconstruction. In October 1992
Pete Peters invited more than 160
“white Christian men” to Estes Park,
Colorado for a three-day strategy ses-
sion. During that weekend in the Rock-
ies a network of militant antigovern-
ment zealots was created. Alliances
were formed from diverse factions—
Identity, Posse Comitatus, the Klan,
Aryan Nations, reconstructionist and
other fundamentalist Christians, neo-
Nazis, tax resisters, Second Amend-
ment advocates and anti-abortion
extremists.

Onstage now, Peters informed us
that he had just gotten off the tele-
phone with his folks in Colorado and
that the federal government had
linked the Oklahoma City bombing to
white supremacists.

“Join me,” Peters called in a nasal
bray as he raised his arms to the ceil-
ing. “Oh, Lord Yahweh, our creator,
Yeshua, his son! Deliver us from the
Antichrist enemies who plot against us!
Strike them down! Thwart their satan-
ic plots against your people! Smite
them down, Lord. Keep us, your peo-
ple Israel, safe from your enemy, the
Antichrists who have done this thing
and put it on us, your people! We pray,
in Christ's name. Amen."

"Amen!" we echoed.

This frightening theme would be
rapped out again and again as differ-
ent “pastors” and “patriots” took the
podium in the following sessions.

The most intriguing of these was
Larry Pratt, executive director of both
Gun Owners of America and the Com-
mittee to Protect the Family Founda-
tion, an organization that raises funds
for anti-abortion extremist Randall
Terry. Pratt is a slight, bespectacled
Presbyterian who travels between the
Beltway and the extreme reaches of
contemporary American fanaticism.
The former Virginia legislator has
been in constant contact with an array
of extremist bodies for more than a
decade, from racist meetings like the
one in Branson to Peters’ Estes Park
strategy sessions to visits with militia
officers in the Philippines and mem-
bers of Guatemalan death squads.

“Maybe I should begin with a few re-
marks on what has happened,” Pratt
says. “I was in front of the FBI building
in Washington just before noon. It was
11 o'clock, I guess, out in Oklahoma.
There were a number of us there at a
rally to commemorate what was done
to those people at Waco by the FBI.
And the media were all trying to make
this connection between the Davidians
and what happened in Oklahoma City.
So I told them, "Yeah, I do see a con-
nection between what happened to the
Davidians and what happened in Okla-
homa City. And that was that whoever
did that in Oklahoma City had sunk to
the level of the FBI.’ The government
behaves as a beast. It did in Waco and
we have somebody, whoever it might
have been, whatever group it might
have been, assuming they can’t rely on
the Lord to take vengeance.”

Pratt's prepared theme was that
Christians were ordered by God to take
up assault гїйез. It wasn’t an issue of
rights or governance. God simply sai

“Get an assault rifle, or else.”

“We have a lot of confusion in our
land, and the bottom line is that it is a
spiritual battle. This is not a political
issue. This is something that comes
first and foremost from the Scripture.
What I see in scripture is not that we
have a right to keep and bear arms,
but that we have a responsibility to
do so.”

Fifteen years ago the Arkansas-based
Covenant, Sword and Arm of the Lord,
an Identity community of some 200
members, put out a statement regard-
ing their Endtime Overcomers Sur-
vival School. “In this class we teach
people the scriptural basis for war and
a Christian army. Exodus 15:3 says ‘I,
the Lord, am a man of war: the Lord
is my name.’ God is a man of war, reap-
ing vengeance on his enemies and the
enemies of his elect. At CSA we try to
teach that ‘beans and bullets’ are not
enough—faith in Christ Jesus is man-
datory in order to survive!”

The CSA also reported on a sup-
posed world government plan for for-
eign troops to police the United States.
Substitute “new world order” for
“world government” and you have the
same scenario that the militia move-
ment has been promoting for the past
two years.

“Folks, this tragedy in Oklahoma
tells us that unless we know the savior,
without knowing him, we won't have
peace. This is the kingdom message.”

David Barley, of America’s Promise
Ministry in Idaho, had the podium
His voice began evenly but soon took
on the timbre of an angry terrier.
“They say we are a bunch of white sep-
aratists. You bet we are!”

We responded with quite enthusias-
tic applause.

“They are out to do the same thing
to us that they did in Oklahoma City.
They don’t talk about Waco.”

Barley rolled his head around in
disgust.

“Well, who were the evil cowards in
Waco? Didn't they hide?"

Barley had us pitching anger back
and forth. We bounced our butts on
our chairs.

“Johnnie Reno, uh, Janet Reno.
She's putting out hints about white su-
premacists and extremists and militia
groups. "They're up to something,’ she
says. You had better believe it! They
are out to do the same thing. They first
demonize you people, me, those peo-
ple who love Jesus Christ, those people

(continued on page 120)

“Hi, could we come in and talk to you about hedonism?”

how else can you

explain why films

directed by bob

zemeckis have raked

in more than $2

billion in ten years?

BY JOE MORGENSTERN

AYBOY PROFILE

ШУ

AN READ YOUR MIND

WE LIVE IN AN ЕВА of hero directors. It began in the Seventies, when movies such as
Jaws, The Godfather and Star Wars established a category of entertainment called the
blockbuster and catapulted the people who made them to positions of eminence that
Frank Capra, John Ford or even Alfred Hitchcock could not have imagined. Now,
ordinary moviegoers, along with card-carrying members of Hollywood's guilds,
drop such names as Spielberg, Coppola, Lucas or Scorsese and other moviegoers
nod sagely in response.

All the more refreshing, then, when Robert Zemeckis stood up earlier this year
at the Directors Guild of America’s annual awards ceremony and told an audience of
his peers that producers, agents and studio executives “don't know exactly what it is
that we do.” This got a big laugh, as did his assertion that actors think they know,
while critics never know. Later in the evening, Zemeckis’ friend Steven Spielberg,
who was once his mentor, presented him with this year’s top prize for directing For-
rest Gump. Two weeks after that, Zemeckis copped the all but inevitable Oscar.

His win was popular within the motion picture community. Most producers,
agents and studio executives consider the boomingly genial Bob 7, as many call him,
a perfect example of what directors ought to do: He makes movies that make moun-
tains of money. In less than a decade, he has directed seven feature films—Romanc-
ing the Stone, Back lo the Future and its two sequels, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Death Be-
comes Her and Forrest Gump—that have had worldwide grosses in excess of $2 billion,
a record exceeded only by the movies of Spielberg himself. Gump alone has passed
the $600 million mark in earnings, which makes it the fourth most successful movie
of all time, following such family fare as Jurassic Park, The Lion King and E.T.

Oddly enough, given his Midas touch, the 44-year-old Zemeckis has come slow-
ly to public prominence. Until recently, most moviegoers would have found it easier
to recall Tom Hanks’ last two pictures than the name of the man who directed Forrest
Gump. This has changed in the past several months, of course. Now his is a name
heard in households far beyond Hollywood or Montecito, the elegant suburb of San-
ta Barbara where Zemeckis lives with his wife, the actress Mary Ellen Trainor, and
their nine-year-old son, Alex. Still, what he said at the Directors Guild remains true:
Most people don't know what directors do, let alone what special qualities certain
filmmakers bring to their films.

Zemeckis’ specialty has long been technological razzle-dazzle. First came all that
flux-capacitated time travel via Doc Brown's DeLorean in Back to the Future, then
the strenuous interweavings of cartoons and live action in (continued on page 82)

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PLAYBOY

B | } 1 [ M f [ | | $ (continued from page 78)

Нез plugged into an energy source no less potent
than lightning, and a lot more marketable.

‚Roger Rabbit, then the derangements of
human anatomy in Death Becomes Her,
including Meryl Streep's backward
head and Goldie Hawn's napkin-ring
body. Most recently were the remark-
able trompe Poeils of Forrest Gump,
which, in addition to placing Gump in
the same frame with JFK or LBJ, used
invisible digital stitchery to put him ina
crowded football stadium and a Wash-
ington mall overfiowing with antiwar
protesters, to fill the air over Vietnam
with helicopters and to relieve actor
Gary Sinise of his legs.

Yet Zemeckis’ success can't be as-
cribed only to special effects. As direc-
tor and co-writer, with Bob Gale, of
Used Cars, a surreal piece of slapstick
that came out in 1980, Zemeckis
sought something sleazy in every char-
acter and succeeded to a degree that
evoked the misanthropy of W.C. Fields.
For all the beeping, flashing, steaming
gizmos of Back to the Future, which he
also co-wrote with Gale, the film is a
great screwball comedy, with unexpect-
edly touching oedipal twists and an
intricate plot—everything turns on a
lightning bolt hitting that clock tower
at the right time. Nor do tricks alone
explain the appeal of Forrest Gump.
When a movie opens spectacularly and
keeps getting stronger—it took in its
first $100 million in just 18 days—you
know the guy running the show has
plugged into an energy source no less
potent than lightning, and a lot more
marketable.

On the morning I show up at Ze-
meckis' house, he has just learned that
Forrest Gump received 13 Oscar nomi-
nations. Greeting me with a big “Hello,
Jess,” he seems abstracted and keeps
calling me John even after I tell him
my name is Joe. I ask how this level of
success feels, and he replies expansive-
ly: “I must say, I'm starting to learn
how to take yes for an answer. It feels
good. It feels great to be recognized.”

Stately on the outside and California
casual on the inside, his huge house is
perfect for a director who likes to mix
things up and find new life in old for-
mulas. “My wife and I like houses that
already havea style on the exterior,” he
tells me. “But then we do the interior
just the way we want it. This place was
built in 1928. On the outside it's like a
classic mock "Tudor"—I laugh at the
idea of a mock anything being classic,
and after a beat he laughs with me—
“but how would you describe the in-

side? It's Mediterranean, almost.”

The conversation turns, naturally, to
Forrest Gump. Zemeckis notes that no
one could have predicted the picture’s
popularity. “At the outset we had only
Tom Hanks. There were no exploit-
ative elements in the script—no crea-
tures, no action, no ticking clock, none
of the stuff that ordinarily sells tickets. I
mean, yes, we had those great images
оп paper, and yes, I had a good record,
but that’s an unrealistic way of think-
ing. Just because my previous films
made money didn't mean I could con-
trol this one. But I never felt that it was
a suicide mission. People thought we
had a good chance to make our money
back. Still, nobody knows in advance
what the pop culture mentality is.”

This is an apt reminder of how risky
moviemaking can be, though I'm sur-
prised to hear it from a man who
stands, like a California-casual version
of Sir Edmund Hillary, at the summit
of his profession. “I've been fortunate
that my movies have clicked,” the di-
rector says matter-of-factly. “But I
don't think that's anything a filmmaker
can do by design. It's terrifying. There
are two ways of looking at it: Are film-
makers constant, and does the world
catch up with them but then quickly
pass them by? Or is the filmmaker able
to continue to grow today, to stay in
touch with himself and his audience?”

Right now, Zemeckis is on a one-year
sabbatical he decided to take last fall,
when he was exhausted after shooting
five $50 million movies in a row. Soon
he'll have to commit to a new project,
and Forrest Gump could impede, just as
well as expedite, his artistic growth.
"I'm afraid anything I do will have а
Gump spin on it. Here’s how the next
project will be announced in Variety:
‘Coming on the heels of the tremen-
dous success of Forrest Gump, Bob is go-
ing to 40... ' followed by the title of
the new project. You know, ‘Gump di-
rector Zemeckis is signing on to do
whatever; It's good to have a problem
like that, right? But it’s a double-edged
sword.”

Zemeckis pronounces Jean-Luc Go-
dard's last name with two hard “d's.”
This is not offered as а comment on his
Chicago accent nor on his ear for
languages—who knows how Godard

would pronounce Zemeckis—but as an

index of his fix on film culture. “My
love of movies started with spectacle,”
he says. “Ном did they do that? I
grew into an understanding of emotion
and drama later on. When Bob Gale
and I were in film school we were the
guys who loved the James Bond
movies, as opposed to the graduate stu-
dents who were always talking about
the latest Godard film, or Death in
Venice. 1 remember thinking Death in
Venice was one of the most boring
movies ГА ever seen.”

Gale recalls that the Bob Zemeckis of
their film school days was always inter-
ested in making Hollywood movies:
“He's got an outrageous sense of hu-
mor, a great sense of showmanship and
a healthy cynicism about the world,
which may be because he grew up in
Mayor Daley's Chicago.” Zemeckis is
also “someone whose artistic side is ac-
companied by pragmatism,” says Gale,
who recently directed Mr. Payback, the
first interactive film for theatrical re-
lease. “He's never gone out and spenta
ton of money just for the hell of it. He
knows we first off have to figure out
how to get people to go to the movies,
how to get the asses in the seats.”

Growing up as the son of a construc-
tion worker on Chicago’s South Side,
Zemeckis fell heedlessly in love with
lowbrow comedy. “1 was one of those
kids who sat in front of a television set
all the time. When Bob Gale and I
would do interviews back in the Used
Cars days, people would ask about our
greatest influences and we'd say Jules
White, who directed all that great stuff
with the Three Stooges. I'd memorized
every episode. The Three Stooges,
Laurel and Hardy, Abbott and Costel-
lo, I watched those constantly. Jerry
Lewis movies. I watched all that stuff,
never missed any of it.” (Film buffs
might want to check the January 1995
issue of Film Comment for a piece by Ze-
meckis called “Guilty Pleasures,” in
which he confesses his love of other
low-rent movie landmarks, such as
Macabre, House on Haunted Hill, You'll
Like My Mother, Two on a Guillotine and
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which he
calls “one of the most brilliant and fun-
ny movies I have ever seen—truly an
American classic.”)

His horizons broadened at the Uni-
versity of Southern California. There,
he and Gale, who came from St. Louis,
discovered they had almost identical
tastes and got to gorge on American
classics. “You have to remember, when
we were in film school there was no
videotape, so we thought retrospec-
tives were the greatest things in the
world. We would sit and watch all of
Frank Capra’s movies, like four on Sat-
urday and four on Sunday, and then

(continued on page 98)

“The Captain has been detained. He asked me to give
you his apologies.”

A star is born: Small-tawn girl Rachel checks inta her hotel (top left}, then
goes through the Playmate paces. (That's photographer Richard Fegley,
cpposite, top and battom left.) Ever the hard warker, Miss August bought
o stack af РЕАТВОТ back issues and "studied every centerfold. | practiced
the poses in my bedroom.” As the phatas attest, practice makes perfect.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY RICHARD FEGLEY

On (айги

x THE MAKING OF MISS AUGUST

T HINGS HAVE a way of happening to Rachel Jeán Marteen. Wonderful,

lucky things, such as dining at one of Chicago's most expensive
bistros and having the manager insist on picking up the tab. Or hav-
ing a casual chat on a plane with a businessman who ends up giving her
his fifth-row Bulls tickets—on the night Michael Jordan returns to action
on the home court. Or try this scenario: An Atlanta photographer
approaches млувоу about doing some work, and though he doesn't get

In high school, Rachel recolls, “1
wos ridiculed for being skinny.
Then I started working out and
soon 1 looked totally different.”
Looking good is the best revenge.

the job, staffers spot her picture in his portfolio. She is flown in for а test shoot and
suddenly, she is Miss August. “It all happened so quickly!” Rachel says, smiling.
“And it was just luck. But that sort of thing happens to me all the time.” Much of
Rachel's good fortune can be attributed to her friendly disposition. This is a
woman who's on а first-name basis with hotel doormen. She's the kind of per-
son who interrupts an interview to say, “We keep talking about me. I want to

г at you.”

My parents taught me го be open and honest,” she explains. Rachel, the
youngest of three girls, grew up on a farm outside Cartersville, Georgia in a
family that made the Waltons look like a gang of hedonistic delinquents. Sundays

were spent at the Baptist church. According to Rachel, Cartersville has “more churches
than houses. It’s very conservative.” Rachel's folks also taught her the value of hard work.
To pay for college she worked an eight-to-four job, then taught aerobics, all before spend-
ing four hours in class. Weekends and vacations were reserved for modeling gigs. “I work
hard to get where I want to go,” she says. And where might that be? “I really want to be a

top model and then start a career in movies,” says Miss August. “I dream a lot about my fu-
ture, and lately I've had dreams about being an actress and accepting an award.” The way
things happen to Rachel Jean Marteen, don’t bet against it. — вов DAILY

Miss August wos “very nervous”
abaut posing nude. “Іп my house
you didn't even soy the word
sex," she says. “Posing for PLAYBOY
has changed me. I’m not so em-
barrassed anymore. | feel much
more open. This experience has
taught me to be praud of my body.”

PLAYMATE DATA SHEET

saw: Kathel San Marteen ___
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HEIGHT: Sune WEIGHT: 123

BIRTH DATE: Ol- S[- О BIRTHPLACE: Atlanta Goria _

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who lack ambiti йшй. and Stereohjpes.
nat a EL "hohnshbinn’atthe 1994 _
Minoli Jodan op VE Classic == fo 1 ME!

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scartest moment: МПСИ 2 was 12, one oEmy oyanddachys

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VIRTUES: Er ta rad |

STH EnADE SCHOL DAZE: му CROWNING DEBUT EAS IMA
SPIDER TO ИМ CASSINATES, AS М6. WHITE COUNTY'ES. MDOEL Now!

PLAYBOY’S PARTY JOKES

Gary matched Dan drink for drink, trying to
get him to talk about what was troubling him.
Gentle prodding was ignored until finally, af-
ter downing the sixth, Dan blurted out, “OK,
it’s your wife.”

“My wife?" his friend demanded. “What
about my wife?”

“I think she's cheating on us."

What's the definition of a loser? A guy who
goes to family reunions to meet girls.

Two mountain-bred Gls were wandering the
streets of Calcutta when an old woman walked
by. "Hey, Billy Joe,” one said, “I think that's
Mother Teresa."

“You're nuts."

“Tm telling you."

They approached the woman and one
asked, "Are you Mother Teresa?"

The old lady eyed them scornfully. “Fuck
off, you goddamn perverts,” she hissed, strid-
ing off.

“Jeez,” Billy Joe said, watching her disap-
pear into the crowd, “now we'll never know.”

Why is marriage like a tornado? It starts with
a lot of sucking and blowing, and when it’s
over you've lost your house.

Р лувоу сілѕыс: A guy walks into a tavern, or-
ders a beer and sets a paper bag on the bar.
Several beers later, the curious bartender
asked what was in the bag. Without a word, the
customer reached in and pulled out a minia-
ture piano, then a small man, about a foot tall,
who sat down at the piano and began to bang
out rhythm and blues.

“Wow, where'd you get that?" the barkeep
asked.

“1 found a bottle,” the customer explained.
“When 1 rubbed it, a genic popped out and
granted me one wish. It’s right here,” he said,
reaching into his coat, “if you want to give it

The bartender gave the bottle a rub and,
sure enough, out popped a genic, “I want a
million bucks,” he said. Suddenly the bar was
filled with ducks, a million of them. “Hey, 1
said bucks, not ducks! Is this genie deaf or
something?”

“Hey, friend, you don't think I actually
asked for a 12-inch pianist, do you?"

A couple veterans from the secretarial pool in-
vited the newest member out to lunch. Both
admired the fur coat she was wearing.

“Isn't it gorgeous?" the wide-eyed blonde
gushed. “I went out with Mr. Clark from legal
last weekend, and when we went back to his
place he had a closet full of them. Can you be-
lieve he just gave me one?”

“Oh really?” one drawled sarcastically,
nudging her friend. “And what did you have
to do?”

“Just shorten the sleeves a little.”

How do you fit 20 businessmen into a mini-
van? Promote one and watch the other 19
climb up his ass.

A traveler in Mexico got lost in a remote area
of the country and pulled up to a cantina to
ask directions. A gringo cowboy stood out
front, leaning against a magnificent white stal-
lion. The traveler was so taken by the horse
that he approached the wrangler and said,
“That's a fine mount you have there. If you
could rub out that brand, Га be willing to give
you ten grand for him.”

The cowboy slowly eyed the stranger, then
put a leg up and slid into the saddle. “If I
could rub out that brand,” he said, “I would be
living in El Paso.”

This MONTHS MOST FREQUENT SUBMISSION: Ап.
aging hooker volunteered to give the поуісе a
few tips on the art of fellatio. Satisfied that she
had perfected the basics, the old pro asked the
beginner if she had any questions.

“Well, yeah. I was wondering how long dicks
should be sucked.”

“The same as the short ones, honey.”

^а]

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned,” the
'oung man confessed. “I work on a farm and
ауе been having sexual relations with some of

the animals.”

“That is a crime against man and God,” the
priest admonished.

“I know,” the sinner replied, “and I've al-
ready given the sheriff $500 to keep quiet.

How much do you want for not telling God?”

Heard a funny one lately? Send it on а post-
card, please, to Party Jokes Editor, PLAYBOY,
680 North Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, Illinois
60611. $100 will be paid to the contributor
whose card is selected. Jokes cannot be returned.

Ipless,

t me. I’m hei

Dad en Sue

“Oooh look, Adam, the snake's
Adam. Oooh Adam,

that was then, this is now

UNGUARDED MOMENTS

OLLOW THE CAREERS of two actresses and you learn about the changing roles of sex and prudery in Hollywood. In 1941
Carmen Miranda had just finished shooting Weekend in Havana when she did a publicity photo session with her co-star
Cesar Romero. Аз a photographer clicked away, Romero hoisted his dance partner into the air and gave the camera ап
unexpected peek into stardom. The widely circulated underground photo stirred up ascandal thet, according to Twen-
tieth Century Fox mogul Darryl Е Zanuck, “was the finish of her.” In 1991 Sharon Stone was filming an interrogation scene
for a thriller called Basic Instinct, when director Paul Verhoeven instructed her to uncross, then recross her legs. Moviegoers
around the world saw Stone had nothing on beneath her tight white dress. Stone insists she had no idea her brief flash
would even be noticed. She was wrong, and the notoriety propelled her to stardom. What a difference half a century makes.

PLAYBOY

BOB LEMECKIS (continued fom page 82)

“Bob's values are not unlike John Wayne's,” Spiel-
berg says. “Yet Bob would have offended Wayne.”

we'd watch all of John Ford's movies,
or screwball comedies. This was in the
early Seventies, when there was a big
comedy resurgence and they brought
back the Marx Brothers, and W.C.
Fields was big, too. Remember how all
the head shops would sell W.C. Fields
posters?”

The early Seventies was a great time
for films, and for film school students.
“We were in the right place at the right
time,” Zemeckis says, "because the class
before us was the George Lucas class.
They had the same sensibilities as we
did, and they were blazing a trail for
us, so we fell right into that slipstream.”
Fell, or jumped. Zemeckis’ first bid for
glory was directing a 15-minute stu-
dent film called The Field of Honor. Its
hero, a whacked-out kid, shoots up
a town as soon as he’s released from
a mental institution. The protagonist's
Strangelovian father, a World War Two
vet, sits in his wheelchair by a window,
waiting for the Commies to invade.

This short film is a fascinating pre-
view of Zemeckis’ subsequent work.
Ambitious and startlingly accom-
plished, it’s laced with black humor
and bursting with the sort of random
violence that Zemeckis had already
seen and admired in Bonnie and Clyde
and The Wild Bunch—and that anoth-
er young filmmaker, Martin Scorsese,
would explore several years later in
Taxi Driver. The Field of Honor also
served Zemeckis as a calling card, win-
ning him an internship with Steven
Spielberg. Soon Zemeckis and Gale
were writing an anarchic comedy,
1941, for Spielberg to direct.

“Bob started about five years after
me," Spielberg recalls. “I brought him
along with me at first, but then he grew
his own branch, and now he has his
own trunk and roots. He makes Holly-
wood movies, but Zemeckis Hollywood
movies are distinctive in their social rel-
evance and irreverence. Bob has al-
ways been amused by American histo-
ry. He doesn't take it that seriously,
though he is reverential about the
structure of society and what makes it
function. Part of Bob's values are not
unlike John Wayne's, yet most of Bob
would have offended John Wayne,
starting with 1941, which did offend
him. I'd sent him the script and asked
him to play General Stillwell, and when
he called back he spent an hour trying
to persuade me not to direct it.”

As Spielberg protégés, the two Bobs

then started making movies on their
own. Zemeckis directed, and he and
Gale wrote, their first feature, 7 Wanna
Hold Your Hand, followed quickly by
Used Cars. I Wanna Hold Your Hand is,
to use one of the vilest epithets known
to marketing executives, a sweet little
film. It’s a comedy that deals with a
bunch of New Jersey teenagers who
want to meet the Beatles during the
group's first visit to New York. (In its
dever intercutting of dramatic and
documentary footage, the film can be
seen asa finger exercise for some of the
techniques in Forrest Gump.) Used Cars,
which stars Kurt Russell as an exuber-
ant, ethics-free used-car salesman, is
anything but sweet. Pauline Kael
hailed its “wonderful, energetic heart-
lessness" and called it ап "American
tall-tale movie in a pop art form.”

Both films, however, were box-office
flops. Zemeckis and Gale bounced back
enough to write Back to the Future, but
they couldn’t get it produced. The
script was widely perceived as being
too innocent for an audience that, at
the time, was lapping up the mindless
raunch of such comedies as Animal
House. (Actually, Spielberg had seen the
script's potential from the start, but Ze-
meckis felt he couldn't ask his mentor
to produce another movie after the
first two had failed, and after 1941
turned out to be Spielberg's only box-
office dud.) For the next three years
Zemeckis and Gale were forced to
scramble for decent work.

This changed for Zemeckis only after
he crossed paths with Michael Douglas.
Douglas wanted to produce a movie
called Romancing the Stone, but he
couldn't get a director. The joke was
that when he reached the bottom of the
directors listings he called Bob Z. “The
project was originally at Columbia,”
says Douglas, who eventually made it
for Twentieth Century Fox, “and Bob
had an office near us on the lot, so we
got together and talked. I'd seen Used
Cars and loved it. I thought he had a
wicked sense of humor and a wonder-
ful gift for telling a story.”

Both qualities stood Zemeckis in
good stead on Romancing the Stone, a ki-
netic comedy-adventure about the re-
al-life perils оЁа writer, played by Kath-
leen Turner, who churns out romantic
best-sellers. It was а punishing shoot,
what with breakneck chases across
tropical landscapes, but the young di-
rector's work was self-assured. “Even

then,” Douglas says, “you saw how Bob
could hang on to all the facets of his vi-
sion, and you saw his stamina. He has
such energy and humor, but he doesn’t
dwell on shots or great moments. He
makes it look easy.”

Looking back to the early Eighties,
it's hard to imagine that studio execu-
tives failed to see Back to the Future as a
winner, But fail they did, until Romanc-
ing the Stone came out in 1984 and took
off at the box office. Suddenly the stu-
dios were competing for the privilege
of financing Zemeckis’ next project, a
situation that relieved him of any mis-
givings about his friend Steven Spiel-
berg producing it. So Spielberg pro-
duced it through his Amblin Enter-
tainment at Universal.

Back to the Future is filled with deft
touches. One of the best has to do with
the resolution of the oedipal romance
between the time-traveling Marty Mc-
Fly and the oversexed teenager des-
tined to become his mother, a relation-
ship that could have turned smarmy,
to say the least. “We had struggled for
months with how to keep this from be-
ing grotesque,” Zemeckis tells me. “All
these events were coming together, but
we didn’t know how to get out of them.
We were locked in because we felt it
was Marty who had to end the oedipal
story, because he knew she was his
mother. But he kept looking very per-
verse. Then came the great inspira-
tion—it was his mother who would end
it. Some cosmic thing happens when
she kisses her own son and it doesn’t
feel right. That was the perfect solu-
tion. I remember being so exhilarated
when we came up with the idea that she
doesn’t want to do it, and she says,
"This is like kissing my brother.’ That's
my favorite line in the movie."

As a measure of the director's new
artistic status, another recent issue oF
Film Comment carries a glowing ap-
praisal of his work by movie critic Dave
Kehr, who describes the oedipal joke of
Back to the Future as “Zemeckis’ most
subversive moment, an attack on the
American mommy fixation as repre-
sented most vividly (and disturbingly)
in the ravishing young moms who pop-
ulate the films of Steven Spielberg.”
Kehr also sees Marty as “a product of
Eighties malaise, of an American
dream gone mysteriously wrong.”

People who remember Back to the Fu-
ture as screwball science fiction may be
astonished to hear it was actually a
searching, even subversive, piece of so-
cial commentary. Yet Kehr isn't making
up his tribute from whole cloth. As he
points out in intriguing detail, Zemeckis’

(continued on page 147)

She

get your mojito. workin

Drink by John Oldcastle the rhythm and spirit

of Latin culture are what's happening in a lot of hot new
restaurants. Pumped up to the music of Jon Secada and Glo-
ria Estefan, establishments such as Patria in New York, Bossa
Nova in Chicago, Coco Loco in Washington, D.C. and Café
Marimba in San Francisco are making news with a glam-
orous Caribbean style that features dazzling decor and col-
orful cocktails. Americans who have never tried the potent

Brazilian sugarcane liquor called cachaca, for example, are
finding how tasty it is in a caipirinha cocktail (recipe follows).
Cooling the fire of spicy foods is a terrific reason to try the
array of fine rums and tequilas punched up by fresh tropical.
fruits such as mango, guava and passion fruit. Of course,
classic Caribbean cocktails such as the piña colada and the
daiquiri are still being served. But thanks to the recent im-
portation of new fruit juices, nectars, concentrates and

ILLUSTRATION BY KAREN BARBOUR

PLAYBOY

100

liqueurs, these drinks now offer а
wider range of flavors. Following are
drinks from some of the hippest State-
side tropical restaurants.

Patria
250 Park Avenue South
New York
212-777-6211

Patria is famous for such Cuban cre-
ations as sugarcane tuna and cashew-
crusted flan. Both are best with chef
Douglas Rodriguez’ signature drink—
the mojito (which means “a little wet”

MOJITO

1 teaspoon sugar

1% ounces light rum

4 or 5 mint leaves

Splash of Seven-Up

Sugarcane stick or lime wedge

Place sugar, rum and mint in a cock-
tail shaker and shake or stir until sugar
dissolves. Add Seven-Up. Pour over
crushed ice in a tall glass and garnish
with sugarcane or lime.

PATRIA COLADA

% cup frozen passion-fruit
concentrate

И cup Coco Lopez

И cup light rum

1 ounce Captain Morgan Spiced Rum

Shaved coconut

Combine passion-fruit concentrate,
Coco Lopez and light rum in a chilled
blender container and blend until
smooth. Pour into a hurricane glass
and float Captain Morgan Spiced Rum
on top. Garnish with shaved coconut.

Lola
30 West 22nd Street
New York
212-675-6700
Known for its spiced chicken and a
great bar scene, Lola keeps the heat at
bay with its frozen mango martini.

FROZEN MANGO M.

TINI

2 ounces Smirnoff vodka

1 ounce triple sec

2 ounces mango juice

Dash of lime juice

Lime garnish

Pour vodka, triple sec and juices into
a blender with a scoop of crushed ice.
Blend until slushy and serve in a
chilled martini glass with lime.

Coco Loco
810 7th Street NW
Washington, D.C.
202-289-2626
Coco Loco is the place to go for both
Mexican food and succulent South
American roasted meats. Many of the
cocktails served—including the caipi-
rinha—are made with cachaca, a Brazil-
ian sugarcane liquor.

CAIPIRINHA

Juice of one lime

4 tablespoons sugar

2 ounces cachaca

Muddle lime juice and sugar to make
a thin paste. Pour into a cocktail shaker
with ice cubes and cachaca. Shake until
cold. Serve in an old fashioned glass.

Max's South Beach
764 Washington Avenue
Miami Beach, Florida
305-532-0070

Gloria Estefan, Jon Secada, Sylvester
Stallone and Madonna have been spot-
ted at this hip Miami Beach eatery.
Sink your fangs into the atmosphere
while sipping a vampire.

VAMPIRE,

1 ounce Finlandia vodka

1 ounce Chambord

1 ounce Rose’s lime juice

1 ounce cranberry juice

Combine ingredients in a cocktail
shaker with ice cubes and shake until
cold. Strain into a tall cocktail glass.

Shabeen Cookshack

1200 Collins Avenue

Miami Beach, Florida

305-673-8373

As funky as a setting in an Elmore
Leonard novel, this Jamaica-inspired
establishment serves red-hot finger
food and cocktails that go down easily.

SMOOTH SAILING

1 ounce light rum

1 ounce dark rum

И ounce grenadine

1 ounce each of cranberry, orange,

grapefruit and pineapple juices

Maraschino cherry

Combine rums, grenadine and juices
with cracked ice in a cocktail shaker
and shake until very cold. Strain into a
collins glass with ice cubes. Garnish
with a cherry.

Mark's Las Olas
1032 East Las Olas Boulevard
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
305-463-1000

The tightest skirts in Florida crowd
the bar at this new restaurant. Try a
Brazilian daiquiri while waiting to sam-
ple chef Mark Militello's new Carib-
bean cooking.

BRAZILIAN DAIQUIRI

1 ounce Bacardi light rum

1 ounce Bacardi dark rum

1 ounce Myers dark rum

1 teaspoon brown sugar

И teaspoon vanilla extract

2 pineapple slices

Let all ingredients except pineapple
slices steep in the refrigerator for 48

hours. Buzz ingredients in a blender
until smooth and pour into a tall glass.
Garnish with pineapple slices.

Americas
1800 Post Oak Boulevard
Houston, Texas
713-961-1492
With its tropical decor, long-legged
waitresses and Latin American delica-
cies, Americas packs them in at the
bar—a great spot to try one of chef
Michael Cordua’s Caribbean cocktails.

MANGORITA

2 ounces mango nectar

2 ounces lime juice

1% ounces Jose Cuervo tequila

Combine ingredients in а chilled
blender container and blend at high
speed just until smooth. Serve in a
martini glass.

Natura Cafe
2909 McKinney Avenue
Dallas, Texas
214-855-5483
Natura Cafe's commitment to all-
natural ingredients extends to the
purified water and the organic fruits
used in its cocktails.

NATURA COOL BREEZE

1% ounces Malibu rum

9 ounces orange juice

2 ounces pineapple juice

1 ounce cranberry juice

Pineapple slice

Combine rum and juices with ice in a
cocktail shaker and shake until cold.
Strain into a glass with ice cubes and
garnish with pineapple

Nola
534 St. Louis Street
New Orleans
504-522-6652
Nowhere in New Orleans do they let
the good times roll more than at Nola,
where celebrity chef Emeril Lagasse
creates terrific Caribbean-inspired cre-
ole-cajun dishes.

NOLA MARDI GRAS

3 ounces Finlandia vodka

% ounce Chambord

Lemon twist

Shake vodka with ice in a cocktail
shaker until very cold. Pour Chambord
into a martini glass and swirl to coat.
Pour out excess. Strain vodka into the
glass and garnish with lemon twist.

Mike's on the Avenue
628 St. Charles Avenue
New Orleans
504-523-1709
Mike Fennelly is an arust first and a
chef second, so expect the unexpected—
(concluded on page 150)

ENTERTAINMENT FOR MEN AUGUST 1975 + $1.25

PLAYBOY

# PRO FOOTBALL FORECAST

A PICTORIAL
FANTASY:
AFTER HOURS IN A
DEPARTMENT STORE

FEDERAL JUSTICE=
PROSECUTION
OR INQUISITION?

WHAT YOU STILL DON'T

KNOW ABOUT Шы <n
EX-COMPAI

PHILIP AGEE TELLS m

^ CHECKING OUT
m THE FEMALE ESCORT
SERVICES:
SOME CONS AND
LOTS OF PROS

FICTION BY JOHN UPDIKE

LILLIAN MULLER

PLAYMATE

MISS AUGUST 1975. Norwegian knockout Lillian Müller turned-photographer Suze Randall, the sultry Lillian went
made her memorable рглүвоү debut on the cover of an is- оп to appear on nine PLAYBOY covers and in more than two
sue that offered fiction by John Updike and the confessions dozen pictorials. She was the obvious choice for Playmate
of superspy Philip Agee. Discovered in London by model- of the Year in 1976, a year we still think of as Miller time.

“In sports terms, Га be something like a free agent.

Except, of course, I ain’t free.”

103

screw
the
young

THE ELDERLY HAVE A
HEARTFELT MESSAGE
TO SHARE WITH
GENERATION X:
“STICK ‘EM UP, KIDS”

1 AM 30 years old, well educated, launched іп my cho-
sen profession, with everything to look forward to in
life. So why do 1 feel as if I'm the latest downtrodden
minority, somebody whose future was brokered away
even before he was born?

I know what you're thinking: Not another whiny
Xer bleating his generational complaint. I'm neither
bored nor purposeless nor unambitious; I'm no slack-
er. And yet the more I look into it, the more I’m con-
vinced that I'm being screwed by a big generational
conspiracy. So hear me out, before I spill my story to
Oliver Stone.

My status crystallized for me one morning last fall.
First, the newspaper reported that Social Security will
be dead broke by the year 2029. By subtracting my
birth year, 1965, from 2029, I realized that the year
the geezer dole goes belly-up I'll be 64, ready to feed
at the entitlement trough myself.

This shouldn't have come as a big surprise. Accord-
ing to a 1994 poll, nearly twice as many of my fellow
Xers believe in UFOs as believe they'll ever get a dime
from Social Security. But vague pessimism is one
thing. It's overwhelming to have that pessimism con-
firmed over your morning coffee, when the govern-
ment itself announces that America’s retirement fund
is scheduled to dry up on the eve of your golden years.

I was soon stumbling upon evidence of intergenera-
tional inequity all over the place. My favorite horrify-
ing stat is that back when my grandpa started paying
Social Security taxes, the most he could be forced to
fork over each year was 60 bucks (335 in today’s dol-
lars). A self-employed 25-year-old can pay $8500 a
year. And the money doesn't always go to the needy. In
1990, for instance, nearly $8 billion in Social Security
benefits went to people earning more than $100,000
annually. Meanwhile, the average 30-year-old man
makes about a third less in real dollars today than his
counterpart did before the oil shocks of 19° so his
payroll deductions hurt that much more.

Looking for someone to share my outrage, I came
across mention of a defunct — (continued on page 150)

ARTICLE BY MARK JANNOT

ILLUSTRATION BY MIKE BENNY

105

DAWN Se

М> film industry observers would ar-
Mz that selling a motion picture to

the public is as important as creating one.
No one knows that better than studio execu-
tive Іштей independent producer Dawn
Steel. After marketing and merchandising
novelty items through her own company, Oh
Dawn, in the mid-Seventies, Steel came to
Hollywood in 1978 and joined Paramount
Pictures as director of merchandising. She
created the first feature-filin commercial tie-
in with Klingons eating McDonald's Big
Macs to publicize the film “Star Trek.” By
1980 Steel was supervising the development
and production of such films as “Flash-
dance,” “Top Gun,” “Beverly Hills Cop 2,”
“The Accused” and “Fatal Attraction.”
Helping to redefine and expand the role of
women in Hollywood, in 1987 Steel became
the first woman to head a major motion
picture studio—Columbia Pictures. During
her tenure, she was responsible for the pro-
duction of “Ghostbusters 2,” “Karate Kid 3,”
“When Harry Met Sally” and “Look Who's
Talking,” among others. Having survived
at Columbia for three years (twice as long as
the average studio executive), Steel departed
and independently produced the hit films
“Sister Act 2” and “Cool Runnings,” the
latter of which has

hollywood’s eamed more than

$150 million to

ШАШ en

wi he -sell-

mogul on img book “They

à Can Kill You, But

howto win They Can't Еш

You,” which chron-

an argu- icles her journey

through the Holly-

ment, What осі maze. Recent-

- ly, Steel formed At-

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nese don't Turner Pictures

and is currently 1e-

know about — 75775; first
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movies and Robert Grane

caught up with the

what to say diminutive Steel at

her production of-

when a fice in West Holly-

wood. Crane re-

woman poris: “Dawn Steel

asks, “how ts small, pretty, sexy,

funny—ond defi-
nitely in charge.
You wouldn't want
her to be pissed off
at you.”

do i look?”

PHOTOGRAPHY BY OUTLINE

PLAYBOY: Your et is called
They Can Kill You, But They Can't Eat You.
How did the title come to you?

STEEL: I was in labor and 24 hours later
gave birth to my daughter on March
17, 1987. I had been having some
difficult times at my job, and I was at
odds with my boss. I knew he didn't
like me, but I didn't know how much
he didn't like me. In the hospital, my
husband had gone down to the coffee
shop to get a newspaper. He came back
and I was feeding my child and blissed
out. He looked at me with the newspa-
per under his arm and said, “I don’t
know how to tell you this, babe, but you
got fired while you were in labor.” I re-
member thinking, I will not cry, I will
not let them make me cry. I have my
daughter in my arms. I looked up at
my husband and said, “You know
what? They can kill you, but they can’t
eat you." I had heard that years before.
Someone smarter than me had said it.
But at that moment I realized that’s
how it felt. I'm still here.

pavpoy: Remember the film The Play-
er? Is the real story more complicated
or less complicated than that?

STEEL: I hate that movie because it
makes all of us in the movie business
look like schmucks, and we're not. We
don't murder people. I can't name one
studio executive who's killed anybody.
That movie makes really intelligent
people believe that we are all immoral,
amoral—and jerks, which is worse.

3.
PLAYBOY: How do you get your way?
Whom do you sweet-talk and whom do
you bully?
STEEL: I don't give up. I just annoy peo-
ple until they give me what I want. I
badger them.

I hope I don't bully anybody. It's not
something I would be proud of. I want
what I want when I want it and I'm
very straightforward about it. One of.
my mentors used to call me "the tank."
He said, "You put your head down and
you just keep rolling forward until you
get what you want." That's basically
what I do. I just keep going forward.
Jeffrey Katzenberg used to go to the
front door. If they didn't let him in the
front door, he'd go to the back door. If
they didn't let him in the back door,
he'd go to the side door. If they didn't

let him in the side door, he'd go to the
basement. You keep going in different
orifices until you get where you want to
go. You never give up. That's how I get
what I want.

тілүвоу: How do you know you've won
ап argument?

өткі: They hang up. They can't take it
anymore. They want to go home and
take a nap.

rLAYBOY: How would you define the
word bitch? Are there other things you
can call a woman?

STEEL: I won't define it. In fact, it’s a
word I particularly loathe and don’t
think we should use. There's по equiv-
alent for men. ІҒІ cut somebody off, he
calls me a bitch. If I offend someone,
he calls me a bitch. I strap on my balls,
he calls me a bitch. I find it offensive. I
am not a female dog. I don’t under-
stand how it came to mean what it
means today. In my office, we don’t use
the bitch word. The C word is unac-
ceptable. If you absolutely need to call
a woman a name, you can call her a
shithead.

PLAYBOY: Men are born with balls, but
most don’t use them. Women acquire
balls and use them. Give us rules for
wielding balls in a postfeminist society.
STEEL: Always do it with humor. Men
don't like having balls wielded serious-
ly. Men don't like having balls wielded
by women, period. Girls, I suggest you
always have a gleam in your eyes when
you’re wearing your balls.

PLAYBOY: What can a woman tell a man
about balls?

STEEL: I once heard a pop psychiatrist
say, “Ladies, leave your balls at home,”
which was weird because I would say
wear your balls to the office and then
take them off when you're going out.

PLAYBOY: Do men take their balls for
granted?

STEEL: Yes, completely. We're dealing
with the image of balls as opposed to
the psychological advantage of know-
ing you were born with balls. But, in
some way, 1 always knew I was born
with balls. It’s much more comfortable

107

PLAYBOY

for me than it is for you. Mine are
figurative and yours are literal

PLAYBOY: You make stars. Which star
makes you weak in the knees?

STEEL: Brad Pitt. I've had nothing to do
with his career, though I hope to. I just
want to be his friend.

10.

PLAYBOY: Have you ever used a casting
couch to your advantage?

STEEL: Before I was married, I thought
it worked only for men. It took me a
long time to figure out that I could use
it. That's a really different thing be-
tween men and women. I've heard
specific references to it and, in fact,
heard recently that a studio executive.
was caught giving head to a writer she
wanted for a particular project. What-
ever it takes, honey.

и.

PLAYBOY: Please tell us three lies of
Hollywood.

STEEL: “I'll read the script tonight.” “ГЇЇ
get back to you tomorrow.” “I loved
your movie.” No one sets out to make a
bad movie, but it happens. If you're in
a position where you get to see a movie
before it’s finished, you have an obliga-
tion to be completely honest. But if you
see a movie after it's finished, and it's
somebody you care about, you're not
going to walk up to them and say, “I
hate it.” You're going to say, “Good for
you. Congratulations. I really enjoyed
it.” 1 don't want to be too tongue-in-
cheek about that answer.

12.

PLAYBOY: Describe three danger signs of
becoming “too Hollywood.”

STEEL: Number one is when you begin
to think that you're different and, of
course, you’re not. Number two is
when you get really angry if you (a)
can't get a favorite table at a restaurant,
(b) are made to wait in line at a movie
theater rather than be rushed in ahead
of the line, ог (с) have to Ну, God for-
bid, commercial. There's the car thing,
which is mainly a male issue, when the
cars get fancier and fancier and you
look around and wonder, Can't they
think of something else to do with their
money? Finally, you have, legitimately,
people who lose their temper way too
easily because the stress level is way too
high. When you finally get to that
place, and I've certainly been there, it's
time to go. People who dor't know
they're there don't know it’s time to go.
But I promise you, it's time to go.

13.

PLAYBOY: What does Hollywood have
too much and too little of?

STEEL: It has 100 much money and too
little integrity. In every business you
find people who have honor and peo-
ple who don't. There are only two
kinds of people in the world, honest
ones and dishonest ones. We have our
share of dishonest people here. I think
the problem is that we're all—and I
mean all of us—paid way too much
money, more money than we would be
paid in any other business at our career
levels. The union people who are just
starting their careers are being paid so
much more than minimum wage. So
kids coming out of college are making
$50,000 a year. That's a fortune. I'm
not talking about the tens of millions of
dollars that people like Tom Hanks or
Bruce Willis make. I'm not talking
about movie stars. I'm talking about
regular people. Every day I thank the
universe for putting all of this on my
plate. The minefield for me is trying to
avoid the people who are dishonest.

14.

PLAYBOY: What have the Japanese
learned from their incursion into the
U.S. film industry? Should they have
stuck to Godzilla?

STEEL: They've learned to stay home. I
think the Japanese have been ill-ad-
vised and they've made a mistake that
is common in Hollywood, which is
thinking that anyone can make an
American movie. It’s not true. Only
Americans can make American movies.
It is the most exportable product we
have. It is the thing we’re most noted
for. An American movie is a calling card
anywhere in the world. The Japanese
can make Japanese movies, but they
can’t make American movies.

15.

PLAYBOY: We never hear about your
husband. How do you balance work
and your relationship?
STEEL: Chuck is incredibly solid and
doesn’t really give a shit. Work doesn't
come anywhere near the importance of
my relationship with my husband and
my daughter. It became clear when I
was at Columbia Pictures that I needed
to figure out a way to do everything.
There was this myth about Super-
woman. She doesn't exist. Some days I
was a great mother and some days 1
was a great studio executive or a great
producer. But not every day. I can’t be
great every day. There were times I
didn’t get my legs waxed for months.
It’s an awful image, I know. Something
had to go and it was my legs.

16.
rrarsov: Who wears the pants in your
relationship?
втекі: We both wear pants. My eight-
year-old daughter wears pants, too.

17.

PLAYBOY: Whatis the oddest file in your
Powerbook?

STEEL: My daughter's games. She's on
my computer all the time and she’s re-
ally annoying about it. We have all
these games like Math Blaster and
Spelling Buster and Shanghai Shuffle
Puck. Do you know how annoying the
sound is when the puck gets hit? I also
have all sorts of bizarre letters because
1 have figured out how to fax from my
computer. I have all sorts of weird cor-
respondence. I'm not going to tell you
with whom.

18.

PLAYBOY: When а woman asks, "How
do I look?” is it ап invitation to be
truthful?

STEEL: For me it is. Му husband doesn’t
miss anything. On one hand, I want to
say to him, “Could you put on a blind-
fold?” He sees every zit оп my face. On
the other hand, I absolutely want him
to be truthful with me because I don't
want him to let me go out if I look
ridiculous. If there’s something I can
do about it, then it's really helpful. But
if he says, “Your nose is gigantic,”
there's nothing I can do. So I don't
want to be told that. I'm a finished
product, basically, give or take a couple
of pounds and wrinkles. I want to be
told the truth except for the things I
can't change. Only certain responses
are permitted, on things 1 can change.
If he doesn’t like my nose, what can 1
do about it?

19.

PLAYBOY: What happened to tan lines?

STEEL: The ozone layer. Gone. Skin
cancer wiped out tan lines. Can we talk
about sunspots? In the Sixties, I was 1у-
ing out there on Jones Beach plastered
with baby oil and iodine with a sun
reflector surrounding me. I was really
tan. Flash forward a couple of decades
and now I һауе sunspots all over my
legs from where I was sunburned.
That's what happened to tan lines. No
more sun. Sunspots and skin cancer—
that’s what you get from tan lines. Pm
very neurotic about my sunspots, too.

20.

PLAYBOY: With whom will you never
have lunch again?

STEEL: I recently read a book called The
Tibetan Book of Living and Dying. One of
its great insights is that we should have
compassion for every human being be-
cause we're all dying. I have compas-
sion for everyone because everyone's
dying, and ГИ eat lunch with anybody
because they're going to die. We're all
going to die.

109

HE RADIO revolution has

shown that we are a nation of

night owls, drive-time com-

muters, air guitarists, chat-
show hotheads and aural adven-
turers. And often, the siren voices
that lead us to the dial belong to
female hosts. In the past, we could
only imagine the women of the ra-
dio: Disc jockeys rarely came out
of their studios to flesh out our vi-
sions of them. But when Rush
Limbaugh was deemed camera-
ready, the business changed. Now
radio stars do promotional tours,

OF
the best-looking

women you've never
seen—until now

Ellen K. (opposite) gives California drivers с
fine blend of humor and energy оп КИЗ FM's
morning show, having landed her dream job
with DJ Rick Dees (receiving an award with
Ellen, lefi). Now she dreams of just sleeping in.
Jonet Loyne (cbove and right) spins discs for
KGBX in Missouri. She soys weight training
keeps her looking just as goad as she sounds.

broadcasts and publicity posters,
and the women have looks to
match their pipes. As we scanned
the airwaves for the hottest FM fa-
tales and wake-up crew members,
we learned that radio has recruit-
ed sexy advertising executives and
business managers, as well. There
are also talk-show starlets—
dancers, models and actresses—
who boost their careers as on-air
guests. With beauties in the sound

booth and the front office, radi-
oland is finally providing good vi-
suals. Turn the pages and tune in.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY ARNY FREYTAG AND STEPHEN WAYDA

Guadalupe Divina (below, lefi) caught aur attention when she appeared in Playboy
Mexico. When she’s nat working as а DJ at a station in Texas, she likes ta sing and
play guitar and piana. As o nighttime DJ, Diane Ray (below, right) sends aut heat
waves ta her sauth Florida listeners and jakes that what she really wants ta da is rule
the warld. At 23, madel Shelly Jones (right and apposite) has appeared in the mavie
Spring Break Sarority Girls and a Matley Crue video. She has alsa been the Intima lin-
депе madel. But her stint as the Original Panty Fax Queen an “Ron and Ran,” а syn-
dicated shaw, thrilled listeners in the Sautheast. They flaaded stations’ phone lines ta
receive a fax af a picture taken af Shelly's posterior when she sat an a copy machine.

Tracey Roy (left and above) hosts о rodio tolk show for WFTL
in Florido, which allows her to head ta the aceon during her
downtime for some bodysurfing or porosciling. Her dream
is ta own o ronch ond roise endangered species. Lizz Cufori
{right ond opposite) knows her woy oraund heat. Besides
dreoming up hot promotions for WAGY in Springfield,
Mossochusefis, Lizz is оба on expert ot repairing handguns.

Fans know Vanessa Conner (opposite, top) as the V-Woman on
WHHH іп Indionapolis. Her mother is a physician, and now Vonesso
gives out health odvice, too—she's оп expert on exercise. Though
Jenifer Masterman (opposite, bottom) is a full-time accountant, she
сап expect more radio time on WUFX in Buffalo. The station recruit-

ed her during а search among listeners for someone to pose for
PLAYBOY. It worked beautifully. Soon after her Polaroids were selected,
she heoded out to Los Angeles for a photo shoot of Playboy Studio
West. It wos her first trip to Californio. As a 98 Rock Girl in Florida,
Jessica Lee (right) works on promotions with Morgan Malice. As you
con see below, she is also pretty successful ot promoting herself.

de + d
Nm
M А 1
a `
ig a ,
.
« y y -
má қ Я

It's Joy Pons (left and above), airborne
traffic reporter for Maryland's Metro Networks. Karen
Nobis (bottom) is an account executive for K-LAW
Broadcasting in Oklohoma, а job she loves to adver-
tise (below). Tempest and Amy Lynn Baxter (left and
right, opposite) are part of Howard Stem's on-oir
harem. They were shot for the cover of Stern's book
Private Parts, but the racy photo ended up inside. Amy
is an actress and Tempest writes screenplays, when
they're not giving aural jolts to the shock jock and
his listeners. The Girls of Radio will be out on video-
tape August В. Coll B00-423-9494 to reserve a copy.

PLAYBOY

120

ZEALOTS (continued from page 76)

After I drove out of town, there were 10,000 holes in
the Ozarks where my body could be dumped.

who love righteousness, those people
who really care about this nation!

“Those people,” says Barley, fiercely
thrusting a finger eastward, “who want
to violate God's law, do away with those
biblical principles, they don’t love this
nation! We had Waco. . . ."

"The pastor lets that sink down on our
shoulders like a heavy shadow of doom
before continuing.

"People don't talk about that tragedy.
They don't talk about the little children
they murdered. They show pictures of
these precious little children—and they
were precious little children—who died
in this accident. I didn't see any pictures
of what happened in Waco!

“The media ask, Who are these evil
cowards who were the perpetrators of

this bomb? Who murdered these little
children? Well, I have another question:
Who are the evil cowards who hid them-
selvesand murdered those little children
in Waco, Texas? Didn't they hide them-
selves? Didn't they wear ski masks?"

Pastor Barley has a solution: We need
a national old-covenant cleansing! We
need а new heart! This is a time of refor-
mation! What is the New Jerusalem?
Who is the New Jerusalem? False teach-
ing of the Scripture has put sin on this
nation! And he commanded: and with a
two-edged sword in their hand, render
judgment on the heathen!”

I threw my hands together with the
covenant people in a wash of applause
for this appalling little bigot. My brain
was reeling from the exploitation of mu-

“Never mind what your mother told you. What did
your father tell you?”

tilation, death and despair I had just
participated in. The rest of the country
was still in shock, still grieving, but we
here, the chosen patriots of the New
Jerusalem, had no such feelings. We
were the real victims. Us. Not those
mangled toddlers and unlucky Social Se-
curity workers. No. They had it coming
to them.

On the next day the rain fell and with
it paranoia sprouted like mushrooms
among us. For the militiamen, “Chris-
tian patriots” and Aryan Nations mem-
bers, it was a well-justified fear that FBI
agents might walk in at any time. For
me, it was the fear I might be found out
as the stranger among the Israelites, the
traitor among patriots.

1 knew I had nothing to fear so long as
1 was here in Branson among the thou-
sands of hard-permed and polyestered
tourists. But after I drove out of town,
there were 10,000 holes in the Ozarks
where my body could be dumped for all
eternity.

We were treated to some Identity en-
tertainment, which consisted of a hus-
band and wife duo going at each other
with electric piano and banjo, a gangly,
crotch-pulling brother who wrenched
through a few sacred tunes to Yahweh
and finally a very strange ventriloquist
act perpetrated by yet another member
of the congregation.

This dismal spirit-raising endeavor
was abruptly wiped away by the appear-
ance of Earl Jones of the Christian Cru-
sade for Truth, out of New Mexico. A
shaved-pated ex-Marine colonel and
close confidant to Louis Beam, Jones
had laid down Beam’s strategy for “lead-
erless resistance.” Beam appropriated
this guerrilla plan from a Cuban who
had been involved in the Bay of Pigs
invasion.

Leaderless resistance, as Beam sees
it, is a biblical system of warfare in
which “freedom fighters” are trained,
equipped, funded and then turned loose
to do whatever may be necessary. It re-
lieves the movement leadership from the
actions of these cells, which are made up
of from five to eight men. As Jones put it,
it leaves the men “free to just do every-
thing on their own, as just one man or
several. They just do whatever comes on
their hearts to do. It’s called leaderless
resistance,” Jones continued. “But we
know it as following the mandates given
to us by our God.”

It is the type of terrorism that we
have seen in abortion clinic bombings,
in assassinations of doctors and in the
bombing of the federal building in Okla-
homa City.

During the weekend in Branson we
heard many Old Testament examples of

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PLAYBOY

122

this guerrilla tactic: References were re-
peatedly made to the stories of Phine-
has, Gideon and Ehud—vigilantes of the
Lord God.

“For our purposes,” Jones asserted,
trolling us with a flinty gaze, “we have to
have leaderless resistance within the
confines of our directives given to us
in the word of God.” In Identity that
means death to the Jews, the sodomites,
the baby killers, the race traitors, the so-
cialists and any and all who would stand
in the way of a white Christian republic.
“Our backs are against the wall,” said
Colonel Jones.

Here in this upstairs room in Branson
were just some of the thousands of white
people who shared the same witness,
and who were joined by the same bloody
spirit. Some of them were not any more
Identity than I was. It wasacknowledged
by Everitt Ramsey, the Identity minister
who called this gathering, that this was
a Covenant Congregation. This meant
that like-minded “Christian patriots”
were now bound together, regardless of

whether or not they had “the Israel
message.”

Looking at Jones standing up there
ramrod straight, fit and ready as a vin-
tage combat pistol, I thought of Beam
and his prophetic speech at Estes Park
back in 1992.

“For the first time in the 22 years that
1 have been in the movement, we are all
marching to the beat of the same drum,”
the menacing Texan had begun. “We are
viewed by the government as the same:
enemies of the state. When they come
for you the federal government will not
ask if you are a constitutionalist, a Bap-
tist, Church of Christ, Identity, Cove-
nant, Klansman, Nazi or home schooler.
You are enemies of the state! If you be-
lieve in liberty, if you believe in justice,
join with us. Pave the road to the new
world order with the tyrants’ blood,
tyrants’ bones. They shall know the bro-
ken heart!”

The engine that powered that yellow
truck down Highway 77 into Oklahoma
City was built by white supremacy. The

“I suppose this can best be explained as a fear of real intimacy.”

fuel that powered that engine was Iden-
tity. No other group of Americans hates
the federal government with as much
purity, as much fervor and as much con-
viction as do those who have the Israel
Message. It may not be that the terrorists
responsible for the bombing were bap-
tized Identity Christians. But their para-
noia and homicidal will to action issued
from more than 40 years of that pecu-
liarly American sect's teachings and from
tactics supplied by its followers, such as
Beam, Jones, Peters and others.

1 drove out of Branson in a cold, dis-
mal rain and snaked down into Ar-
kansas. I wasn't followed and I wasn't far
from a safer country. Inside my head the
little broken body floated, red and pink
and yellow, like a wound. I pushed the
ы лу button on my minicasserte recorder
to hear if my jerry-rigged “wire” system
had worked during the conference. Out
came the howling voice of W.N. Otwell,
a pastor who runs a well-armed com-
pound in the piney woods of east Texas.

“We talk about Patrick Henry, John
Paul Jones and all these patriots and we
don't do one stinking thing! We talk
about the Constitution that was given to
us in blood! And not one preacher did I
meet in Waco, Texas! I was down there
in Waco on the 19th, and I didn’t know
what was going to happen in Oklahoma
City. But when it come time, the bottom
fell out and it started raining. We had
militia people there and we give a 21-
gun salute. 1 had no idea they was going
to blow up that building in Oklahoma
City.”

The little body was now outside my
head, rocking back and forth just in
front of the hood in the gray rain. I
thought of my 16-month-old son as
Otwell's rant continued:

“I just come back from there. Chief of
police called me and said, `1 heard you
were up in OKC: I guess he thought I
had something to do with it. About nine
or nine-thirty we found out they had
bornbed that place. I saw all those ampu-
tations and broken bodies, but I'm still
angry with them. ГЇЇ tell you something.
They say, “What about all those women
and kids?’ And | say: ‘What about all
those women and kids in Waco, Texas!
You go look in the Old Testament. God
did not mind killing a bunch of women
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I hit the stor button with my thumb.
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my eyes on the broken body out there
in the rain and wondered what Jesus

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124

BERRY GORDY | «ua рот page 52)

Smokey said, “You might as well start your own record
label. You couldn’t do any worse than this.”

them and chased them into the hallway
and told them that I thought they were
really good. We got to talking and
Smokey told me he had a hundred
songs. When 1 told him who I was, he
was excited; he had seen my name on
Jackie’s records. I listened to his songs
апа rejected every one of them. He was
so incredible because he never got disap-
pointed, disgusted or bitter. I told him
he was a great poet but not such a great
songwriter, But he worked hard and
learned and after many false starts came
back with a song I liked, Got a Job. 1 pro-
duced it later. I was with him one day,
waiting for a producer's royalty check,
thrilled that some money was coming in.
I opened the envelope and in it was a
check for $3.19. After everyone had tak-
en their cuts, that's all that was left.
Smokey said, “You might as well start
your own record label. You couldn't do
any worse than this.” I borrowed $800
from my family and recorded a song I
wrote called Come to Me, sung by Marv
Johnson, a new kid I'd met. I first put it
outon my own label, which I called Tam-
la, after the number one song at that
time, Tammy by Debbie Reynolds. But
when I couldn't afford to distribute it na-
tionally, I sold it to United Artists. Way
Over There by the Miracles was the first
record J went national with.

PLAYBOY: By then you were managing,
producing, promoting and writing the
songs. Were you going in too many
directions?

GORDY: No question about it. But every-
thing I did was to protect my love, the
love of songwriting. 1 wrote the songs
and wanted to protect them and get my
money, so I became the publisher. Then
I became the manager of the artists who
sang them and I worked with them so
they would sing it right.

PLAYBOY: And Motown came next?
GORDY: That was the beginning of Mo-
town, but I hadn't started calling it that
yet. One day Smokey came in with this
great new song, Bad Girl. It was truly
brilliant and the recording we made was
so great that I wanted to launch another
label. Tamla was a gimmicky name. 1
wanted the name of the corporation to
be something that meant more to me,
and since 1 had always known Detroit as
the Motor City, I came up with the name
Motown.

PLAYBOY: You were remarried by then?
GORDY: Not quite. 1 remarried a year or
so later.

PLAYBOY: What happened with that
marriage?

GORDY: My marriage to Raynoma ended
because I was going with someone else
and she was going with someone else. I

“How long is the whistling moratorium supposed to last?”

confessed mine, and she confessed hers.
I believe she did it only after I was doing
it, but I will never know that.

PLAYBOY: Her book is extremely critical
of you. She writes that you cheated her
out of ownership of the company.
Gorpy: Yeah, I know. When I read her
book I was furious, 1 couldn't believe it.
Ray was a good wife. She did a lot for me
and Motown at a key point in the com-
pany's history, and I will always care
about her.

PLAYBOY: She apparently didn't feel the
same way. She felt you cut her out of Mo-
town's success.

GORDY: I didn't, but the other books
about Motown did. I guess it was be-
cause she left Motown around 1963, be-
fore it exploded. We had our problems.
But Ray was a fine person and she loved
me to death.

PLAYBOY: She certzinly had an odd way
of showing it.

GORDY: Obviously she was hurt We
talked about it. I was furious and called
her and said, "Why in the hell would you
write some shit like that? I can't believe
you did that!" She said, "I never got
credit,” or whatever. "You never did
enough for me." I said, "Yes, Биг here's
what I did do." I listed some things—
how I helped set her up in business, gave
her more money than we agreed on and
gave her jobs over and over again. She
said, "Yes, but 1 don't have any money
now," and I said, "Whose fault is that?"
She then agreed with me and said she
was sorry for what she һай done.
PLAYBOY: Back at thc company, what kind
of manager were you?

GORDY: I made a point of never making
people do things. Instead I made them
want to do things. Because no one could
ever make me do anything. Ifthey made
me want to do it, that was a different
story.

PLAYBOY: Yet you have a reputation for
toughness.

GORDY: I was tough. When there was a
hard decision to make, I made it. Some-
times it’s impossible not to hurt some-
body. If there’s something that you real-
ly don’t think can work, you have to tell
the person.

PLAYBOY: You've said that you modeled
Motown after the assembly line at Ford.
How did it work?

GORDY. At the plant, they started out with
a frame and ended up with a brand new
car. I wanted the same thing at Motown,
only with artists, songs and records. The
idea was that someone could walk in un-
known off the street and walk out a star.
We had writers, producers, arrangers,
choreographers, chaperones, managers,
acharm school.

PLAYBOY: What was your first million-sell-
ing record?

GORDY: Shop Around by the Miracles.
PLAYBOY. When did you meet Marvin
Gaye?

GORDY: I met him at a Christmas party in

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The Innovative Edge“

features
Audible/Visual Alerts

PLAYBOY

my studio. My sister Gwen pointed him
out. She said he was with Harvey and the
Moonglows but that he wanted to go so-
lo. I heard him sing and loved и. He
sang Mister Sandman. 1 heard his voice
and felt his soul and knew I had to have
this guy on my label.

PLAYBOY: You once said that his music
was a place for him to pour out his pain.
Was he open about his struggles?
GORDY: Absolutely. If you wanted to
know what was happening in Marvin's
life, all you had to do was listen to his
music. There was one thing about Mar-
vin: He could not keep a secret. And he
was determined to do his own thing.
Sometimes I would say, “Marvin, this
doesn’t make sense,” and he would say,

THE MOTOWN

From 1961 to 1985, Motown topped
the charts an amazing 75 times. Here
are its number one singles:

1961: The Miracles, Shop Around

1961: Marvelettes, Please Mr: Postman

1963: Stevie Wonder, Fingertips

1964: Mary Wells, My Guy

1964: The Supremes, Where Did
Our Love Go?

1964: The Supremes, Baby Love

1964: The Supremes, Come See
About Me

1965: The Temptations, My Girl

1965: The Supremes, Stop! In the
Name of Love

1965: The Supremes, Back in My
Arms Again

1965: The Four Tops, / Сап! Help
Myself

1965: The Supremes, / Hear а
Symphony

1966: The Supremes, You Can't
Hurry Love

1966: The Four Tops, Reach Out,
ГИ Be There

1966: The Supremes, You Keep
Me Hangin' On

1967: Gladys Knight & the Pips, /
Heard It Through the Grapevine

1967: The Supremes, Love Is Here and
Now You're Gone

1967: The Supremes, The Happening

1968: Diana Ross & the Supremes,
Love Child

1968: Stevie Wonder, For Once in
My Life

1968: Marvin Gaye, / Heard It Through
the Grapevine

1969: The Temptations, / Can't
Get Next to You

1969: Diana Ross & the Supremes,

“I know, but that’s me.”

He and my sister Anna got married
and divorced and he wrote about it. He
went through some bad times with drugs
and he wrote about that. I think his life
was on a collision course. We were al-
ways good friends, We became even bet-
ter friends when he left Motown.
PLAYBOY: Was that sometimes the case?
GORDY: Not always, but in his case it was.
One day he called me and said he had
this new record he was doing for CBS
and asked me what I thought about the
title. The title, he said, was Sanctified
Pussy. I was so relieved that I didn’t have
to deal with him on that one. I said, “I
think you might havea little trouble with
the name,” but he said, “No man, that's

what I feel.” I said, “If you feel it, then
go for it.” I was so glad it wasn't my com-
pany. [Laughs] The song eventually came
out as Sanctified Lady.

PLAYBOY: Obviously, it was a terrible
shock when Gaye was killed by his father.
Did he ever discuss the problems be-
tween them?

GORDY He didn't talk about his father
much with me. His death was the end of
a troubled life. But he was an incred-
ible genius—the truest artist I have ev-
er known.

PLAYBOY: Do you remember the first time
you met the Supremes?

GORDY: It was before they were the
Supremes—they were the Primettes, the
sister group to the Primes, who became

Someday We'll Be Together
1970: The Jackson 5, I Want You Back
1970: The Jackson 5, ABC
1970: The Temptations, Ball of
Confusion
The Jackson 5, The Love
You Save
Stevie Wonder, Signed, Sealed,
Delivered
Edwin Starr, War
Diana Ross, Ain't No Mountain
High Enough
The Jackson 5, /'ll Be There
Smokey Robinson & the
Miracles, The Tears of a Clown
The Jackson 5, Мата% Pearl
Marvin Gaye, What's Going On
The Temptations, Just My

1970:
1970:

1971:
1971:
1971:

Imagination
1971: The Jackson 5, Never Can
Say Goodbye
1971: Undisputed Truth, Smiling
Faces Sometimes
1971: R. Dean Taylor, Indiana
Wants Me
1971: Michael Jackson, Got to Be There

: Michael Jackson, Rockin’ Robin
: Michael Jackson, Ben
: The Temptations, Papa Was
а Rollin’ Stone
1973: Stevie Wonder, Superstition
1973: Gladys Knight & the Pips,
Neither One of Us
1973: Stevie Wonder, You Are the Sun-
shine of My Life
1973: Diana Ross, Touch Me in
the Morning
1973: Marvin Gaye, Let's Get It On
1973: Stevie Wonder, Higher Ground
1973: Eddie Kendricks, Keep on
Truckin’

ITLIST

1974: Eddie Kendricks, Boogie Down

1974: The Jackson 5, Dancing
Machine

1974: Stevie Wonder, You Haven't
Done Nothin’

1975: Stevie Wonder, Boogie on
Reggae Woman |

1976: Diana Ross, (Theme From “Ma-
hogany”) Do You Know Where
You're Going To

1976: The Miracles, Love Machine
(Part 1)

1976: Diana Ross, Love Hangover

1977: Stevie Wonder, / Wish |

1977: Thelma Houston, Dont Leave
Ме This Way

1977: Stevie Wonder, Sir Duke

1977: Marvin Gaye, Got to Give It Up

1978: The Commodores, Three Times
a Lady

1979: The Commodores, Sail On

1979: The Commodores, Still

1980: Smokey Robinson, Cruisin’

1980: Diana Ross, Upside Doum

1980: Stevie Wonder, Master Blaster

(Jammin")

Smokey Robinson, Being

With You

Diana Ross & Lionel Richie,

Endless Love

Stevie Wonder, That Girl

1981:

1982:
1982:
1983:
1984:
1984:

Lionel Richie, Hello

Stevie Wonder, / Just Called

00 Say I Love You

1985: Stevie Wonder, Part-Time Lover
1985: Lionel Richie, Say You, Say Me

Sources: Billboard and Cashbox.

ЕН |

"It's not that Pm against it. It's just that Pm a
‘you are what you eat" guy.”

127

PLAYBOY

the Temptations. They had come into
Motown and were singing in the lobby
when I walked by. Their singer, Diana
Ross, had this whiny voice. They put so
much into the song and were so young
and cute that I asked ıhem to sing it
again. They did, putting everything into
it. I asked them if they were in school
and they said they were seniors. I told
them I wouldn't sign them until they
finished school; I didn't want to be re-
sponsible for anybody dropping out of
school. They were disappointed, but
they came back to the studio every day
until they finished high school.

PLAYBOY: Did they hit right away?
GORDY: It took three years. Smokey and 1
both wrote songs for them that were not
hits. But when songwriters and produc-
ers Brian Holland, Lamont Dozier and
Eddie Holland locked in on them, the
hits came, and there were lots of them. I
knew then that the Supremes could be
something special, and they could help
themselves and help Motown. They
broke down doors for lots of our acts.
PLAYBOY: So why did you fire Florence
Ballard?

GORDY: Flo had a great attitude—a sar-
castic, funny attitude. When she was in a
good mood, everyone was in a good
mood. When she wasn't, no one was. I
didn’t know that she had a drinking
problem for а long time—Mary and Di-
ana hid it from me. When 1 heard about
it I was furious, because by that time it
was out of control. She was showing up
drunk or at times not showing up at all.
Ultimately, 1 had to make one of those
hard decisions. 1 replaced her with Cin-
dy Birdsong.

рдүвоү. Was Mary Wilson correct when
she complained in her book that you
favored Diana Ross from the beginning
and that the other singers were pushed
aside?

GORDY: If she said I favored Diana she
was right, but I don’t think anyone was
pushed aside. There was never any
question in my mind as to who the lead
singer was.

PLAYBOY: What do you remember about
Stevie Wonder when he first came in?
GORDY: I wasn't that thrilled with his
voice, but I was thrilled with his har-
monica playing. He also played the bon-
gos and drums. His feeling and attitude
were wonderful.

PLAYBOY: Didn't you name him Stevie
Wonder?

GORDY: That's what my sister Esther tells
me. I don't remember. She says that I
said, “What a wonder,” and the name
stuck.

PLAYBOY: Another carly act was Martha
and the Vandellas. Martha Reeves also
wrote a book that attacked you. She said
your focus on the Supremes hurt the
other groups. And she sued you for back
royalties.

GORDY: 1 did focus on the Supremes. But

128 not at the expense of the other artists—

rather, to their benefit. The Supremes
opened at the Copacabana in New
York—the first R&B act to play there—
and sold out every night for two weeks,
and during the off-season at that. Then
we were able to book the Temptations,
Marvin Gaye, Smokey Robinson and the
Miracles and Martha and the Vandellas
not only there but also at all the other
posh nightclubs in the country, includ-
ing Las Vegas. It’s true that Martha sued
me many years after leaving the compa-
ny. When my attorney told me the
Martha Reeves trial was starting the next
day in Detroit, I hit the ceiling. Martha
and me fighting in court? Ridiculous. 1
had my secretary get Martha on the
phone and I asked her why in the world
she hadn't called me personally if there
was a problem. She said her people told.
her it was the best way to go. I asked her
what the complaint was, and she said she
really didn't know but had been told
there was a dispute and she probably
had something coming. 1 asked her why
they didn't do an audit of our books to
find out. She didn't know. Once she and
I talked about it, she understood she had
been misled and I made a settlement
with her. I did it because it was Martha
Recves, and only because it was Martha
Reeves.

PLAYBOY: Let's switch to the Jackson 5.
Michael Jackson has said that he resent-
ed never having a childhood because he
became a star when he was so young.
He was ten when the family signed with
Motown.

GORDY: I don't think Michael believes
that. He had a childhood when he was
with Motown. When I moved them to
California we played baseball every
week—the Jacksons versus the Gordys.
The kids swam and played all the time
when they weren't rehearsing.

PLAYBOY: But he also worked extremely
hard when he vas a child.

GORDY: I don't know what happened at
home before he got to Motown, but he
hada childhood at Motown.

PLAYBOY: His sister La Toya said that Joe
Jackson, their father and manager,
abused his children. Is that true?

GORDY: I don't know. I never saw any
signs of it. As far as I saw, they were
bright and happy children. Joe Jackson
has been depicted as a strong and hard
person, maybe vicious at times. I have
had many differences with him, especial-
ly when he took over their careers, but.
they were an impressive family. They
were the easiest group to work with that
I have ever known. They stayed focused.
They listened to everything I said and
they did it happily. I was impressed with
whatever got them to that stage before I
met them. Whether their mother de-
serves the credit or their father deserves
the credit, somebody does.

PLAYBOY: What happened when Joe Jack-
son took over as their manager and took
them away from Motown to Epic?

GORDY: I was furious. I sued both Epic
and the Jacksons because it was a year
before their contract was up. Their fa-
ther, I was told, concocted a story that we
stole $2 million from the boys. After a
long legal battle and audits of our books,
they ended up owing us $50,000 or
something. But it was too late. The kids
were long gonc from Motown.

PLAYBOY: Jermaine, who had married
your daughter Hazel, didn’t go to Epic
Was it tough for him?

GORDY: It was. I appreciated it so
much—his courage in standing up to his
father. One thing Jermaine said their fa-
ther told them was that Motown was not
able to promote their records anymore
and we were going down the drain and
so forth.

PLAYBOY: Hazel and Jermaine got di-
vorced. Was that a difficult time for you?
GORDY: They were together for 14 years,
and even though they're not together
now, there is no woman he respects
more. And she respects herself, which is
even more important. She has a tremen-
dous self-image and wonderful children.
Their divorce was tough for me because
Jermaine is a fine person. I like him
alot.

PLAYBOY: Of all those who left Motown,
Michael Jackson has sold the most
records. Was it infuriating to watch him
rack up all those million-sellers?

GORDY: Michael was like my son, so I was
thrilled for him. When I asked him to do
Motown 25, he said he wished I were his
father,

PLAYBOY: What do you make of the
charges of child molestation that were
brought against him?

GORDY: I don't believe them. I know him
to be a strong, sensitive human being.
He happens to love kids. I know that
he's always talked about kids. He's al-
ways spent money on kids.

PLAYBOY: If not a child molester, is
Michael as weird as many of us think?
GORDY: I doubt it. He is very shy,
though—oflstage. Once onstage he be-
comes dominant. He's a fanatic like me,
focusing on whatever creative project
he's working on. He wants to be the best.
PLAYBOY: But what about all the wild sto-
ries—the amusement park at home and
the Elephant Man bones, among others?
сору: I don't know. They're probably
just stories. Michael is a marketing ge-
nius. He has studied everybody—me,
Walt Disney, Charlie Chaplin, Jackie
Wilson, Marcel Marceau, James Brown.
He is an incredible sponge, and he is
aware of how publicity can help your
career no matter what it says—almost.
Michael always wanted to be the greatest
entertainer in the world and the most
popular entertainer in the world. He
worked at it. That's why he might have
let a lot of those rumors go, or he might
have even perpetuated them.

PLAYBOY: What do you make of his mar-
riage to Lisa Marie Presley?

GORDY: I don’t know exactly what you
mean by “make,” but I talked with hima
couple of weeks ago, and he said they
are very much in love. I hope they are
happy. The king of pop and the ing
of rock's daughter get together—great! I
also understand that she’s almost as shy
as he is. So, I think they need each other.
PLAYBOY: You have said that Motown
crossed racial barriers. Did you face
racism?

GORDY: 1 was a kid the first time I heard
the word nigger. Six years old. It didn't
really come up with Motown until 1962,
when the Motortown Revue—a tour of
our acts, including the Marvelettes,
Mary Wells, the Supremes, Martha and
the Vandellas, Marvin Gaye, the Temps,
Contours and Smokey Robinson and the
Miracles—went through the South
Word came back that the bus had been
shot at—real guns, real bullets. That was
a horrible feeling for me. I felt guilty and
responsible. And real angry. I told them
to cancel the tour because I just couldn't
have it on my conscience ¡Fany of those
kids got killed out there. They insisted it
was an isolated incident and that they
wanted to go on. So I said OK, but I was
fearful and worried.

PLAYBOY: Did you have all-black audi-
ences at that point?

GORDY: Yes.

PLAYBOY: When did Motown begin to
cross over into white America and main-

stream pop music?

GorDY: We got really big around 1964
and even bigger when people found out
how much we were respected in Europe.
It helped when the Beatles recorded
three of our songs on their second al-
bum. A lot of the British groups had
been studying the Motown artists and
doing Motown songs. Once you're гс-
spected elsewhere, you're respected
more at home, even in a family.

PLAYBOY: When you did cross over, you
were accused of selling out your roots by
catering to white audiences. What did
you think when you heard that?

GORDY: I thought it was ridiculous. We
didn't dwell on black audiences or white
audiences. We just focused on putting
out great songs. Pop means popular. If it
ѕе a million, it's pop. I didn't give а
damn what else it was called.

PLAYBOY: One criticism was that attempt-
ing to cross over to a white audience
meant that you had to diffuse the mu-
sic—that it couldn't be “too black." Did
you make concessions in crossing over?
Did you sell out?

GORDY: [Laughs] No, I didn't. Remember,
the first song I tried to sell was a song I
wrote for Doris Day, a white-sounding
song for a white girl. So if that's the
case, I sold out my white roots when I
changed to black music.

PLAYBOY: Why did you move Motown
from Detroit to Los Angeles?

GORDY: I wanted to be in the movies and
television. I always wanted to grow.
PLAYBOY: It has been said that the begin-
ning of the end came when you decided
to move West.

GORDY: Yeah, I would say it was the be-
ginning of the end. Not the end of Mo-
town—Motown is forever—but it was
perhaps the beginning of the end of
the fun.

PLAYBOY: What changed?

GORDY: Everything. One of the main
things was that when I moved to the
West Coast, the writers, musicians, pro-
ducers and arrangers that I had in De-
troit had a lot of other places to go.
Everybody wanted them. Naturally, they
went where they could makc the most
money, and the major labels could pay
more. Also, trying to get into every-
thing—into movies—meant that 1 was
less able to focus on the artists, records
and songwriting.

PLAYBOY: Your first foray into moviemak-
ing was Lady Sings the Blues in 1972.
What inspired it?

GoRDY: Lady Sings the Blues was the hard-
est thing I'd ever done until the book.
But making it was incredible fun. 1 had
something very real with this movie, ac-
complishing so many of my childhood
dreams.

PLAYBOY: Such as?

GORDY: The dream of making black peo-
ple look like I thought they should look.

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128

PLAYBOY

PLAYBOY: How was that?

GORDY: The way they had been por-
trayed in movies when I was a kid tickled
me, but still I was embarrassed. Actors
like Stepin Fetchit, the laziest man in the
world, Mantan Moreland, who played in
the Charlie Chan movies, and all these
guys with big bulging eyes who were
scared of everything. Well, in Lady Sings
the Blues, 1 was able to make black peo-
ple look the way I saw them: beautiful,
strong and funny like the people I saw
hanging around at the clubs when I was
growing up. Iremembered the beauty of
Billie Holiday and 1 wanted to show that.
PLAYBOY: Was it tough working with Di-
ana Ross in that role?

GORDY: It was probably tougher for her
to work with me. When you're working
with a possessed, focused fanatic like I
am оп a subject 1 was so passionate
about, it's not easy. If Diana hadn’t been
the trouper she is and a perfectionist like
me, it could never have worked.
PLAYBOY: How did the movie affect her?
GORDY: It gave her so much more self-
confidence. It was a big turning point for
all of us.

PLAYBOY: But you weren't minding the
store. What was happening at Motown?
GORDY: Everything had dropped and I
had to work hard to pull it back up. I
worked for a couple of years to bring
things back to normal, and then I was off
to do another film, Mahogany.

PLAYBOY: That was your directorial de-
but. Did you enjoy it?

GORDY: It was one of the great thrills of
my life. We were in Chicago at night.
Big, heavy lights lit up the streets. There
were about a hundred crewpeople and
extras filling the streets, When I said

“Action” to begin the first scene I ever di-
rected, everything and everybody start-
ed moving. I loved the scene. When it
was over I was busy complimenting the
actors—hugging Billy Dee Williams and
Diana—and Shelly Berger, my top assis-
tant at the time, tapped me on the shoul-
der and said, “You'd better say “Сш.” I
had forgotten to do that, and everybody
and everything was still moving.

The cameraman was still shooting. I
said, “Oh, cut.” Everything stopped. Га
been chairman of the board but never
had the feeling of such power. It was
incredible.

PLAYBOY: Diana Ross walked out on the
last day ofshooting.

GORDY: Well, she was exhausted, and by
that time she was really fed up with me.
Later I learned that her daughter was
sick at home, too.

PLAYBOY: You had an affair with Ross.
How did you feel when she left Motown?
Was that the hardest defection for you?
GORDY: By far. It was such a shock.
PLAYBOY: Did she tell you herself?
GORDY: Not at first. А man came in and
said, "I'm representing Diana Ross." She
had been with me for 21 years. She had
three seven-year contracts and her latest
contract was up. I always thought she'd
be with me forever, so I never even
thought about re-signing her. When one
of her records came out, the sales de-
partment would say, “Oh no,” because
they knew they were going to have trou-
ble with me. I would be on them to make
certain it became a hit.

PLAYBOY: Was that your business sense
talking or was it your affection for her?
GORDY: 1 would do it to some extent with
any record I believed in. But everybody

"Where's the ping-pong table?"

knew Diana was my baby.
PLAYBOY: Then why did she leave?
GORDY: She got a lot of money, but mon-
еу wouldn't have mattered if things had
been different between us. Throughout
her life at Motown, she had heard that
she was just a puppet for me. And then
she married someone else. We all know
what pillow talk can do. Also, I was de-
manding of Diana because I loved her.
Unfortunately, when you love people a
lot you don't want them to make mis-
takes, and you're a little more protective.
and demanding.

PLAYBOY: Did you push her harder?
GORDY: Much harder.

PLAYBOY: Were you jealous?

GORDY: Maybe more than I admitted at
the time. It came up when the Supremes
and I were in London and Mary and Flo
wanted to go out and party and I told
them they couldn't. Mary said, “Don't
make us suffer just because you're jeal-
ous of Diana going out at night.” My
point was that they should stay in be-
cause they had all these one-nighters to
do. They needed their rest. But when
Mary hit me with that, I had to think
twice. Was I really protecting them or
was I jealous?

PLAYBOY: What was your answer?

GORDY: I don't know. I think a іше of
both. I told Diana what Mary had said
and she got a kick out of it, thinking I
was a little jealous. Also, when she said
she had to get her sleep and wasn't about.
to go out—the relief I felt indicated that.
jealousy was there somewhere.

PLAYBOY: You and Ross have a daughter,
Rhonda. Why did you keep it from her.
that you are her father?

GORDY: It was her mother's decision. She
felt that the child should not know any-
thing until she was able to handle it and
understand it. She made a wise decision,
because when she did tell her, Rhonda
was able to handle it well.

PLAYBOY: When Ross read your book, she
said, "I also wish he had told me he
loved me, as he says in the book. Maybe
things would have been different—may-
be not." How did you feel about that?
GORDY: Great. She was so special to me
and I always felt misunderstood by her.
In fact, while writing the book, I heard
she hated that I was going to write about.
the first time we slept together. Diana al-
ways hated any of her business being in
the street. But when she read it and
found out that I told the truth about my
being so embarrassed, she got a big kick
out of it.

PLAYBOY: You admitted you couldn't get
it up the first time you slept together.
Did you have to think twice before in-
duding that story?

GORDY: At least twice. Many people said,
“Boy, were you candid. Probably a little
too candid.” But once I decided to write
the book I had to tell the truth, especial-
ly about me. I also wrote that I wet
the bed when I was a kid. These things

Һарреп. I figured, others must wet the
bed and must not be able to get it up, so
it shouldn't be that big a deal to say it.
PLAYBOY: Ross, the Jackson 5, Michael
‘Jackson, Marvin Gaye and other big acts
left Motown. David Geffen told us how
difficult it was when artists he had nur-
tured left his company. Was it the same
for you?

GORDY: For many years Motown was un-
touchable. Nobody would leave. People
would try to get them to leave—Mary
Wells was the first star who did, in 1964.
PLAYBOY: What happened?

GORDY: Mary had been with me for only
four years and was very hot at the time—
in fact, she had the number one record
in the country, My Guy. When Mickey
Stevenson, head of A & R, told me he
was having trouble getting Mary to come
to recording sessions, I called her and
arranged a meeting at her house. When
1 asked her what the problem was, she
|, “You better talk with my lawyer.” I
said OK and left with a smile on my face
but a rock in my stomach. I met with her
lawyer and showed him our assembly
line and what we did for the artists. He
was impressed and said he would per-
suade her to stay with Motown. The next
day he was fired.

PLAYBOY: Why did she want to leave all
that badly?

GORDY: I don't know for sure, but Twen-
tieth Century Fox Records probably

paid her a lot of money. They even paid
us a royalty to get her out of her con-
tract. They wanted her that bad and she
wanted to leave that bad. She went to
five other record companies over the
next 20 years and never had a hit.
PLAYBOY: Why did so many artists leave?
GORDY: That's a ridiculous question be-
cause it leads to a wrong perception. You
should have asked, “How did you keep
so many so long?” That was the phe-
nomenon. Of the artists you mentioned,
only the Jackson 5 left before their con-
tract ran out and Michael had no
choice—he was a minor with a father de-
termined to take his children from Mo-
town. Diana stayed 21 years, Marvin
stayed 18 years and many of the name
artists, including the Marvelettes and
Martha and the Vandellas, didn't leave
us, we just didn't re-sign them after we
moved to Los Angeles. For some of the
others it was just human nature. Some-
times the grass looks greener. The truth,
however, is that never in the history of
the record business have so many stars
been on one label at one time for so long.
PLAYBOY: A few artists never left—
Smokey, Stevie Wonder, Lionel Richie.
What caused them to stay?

GORDY: Certain people were so loyal that
money wasn't the issue. Stevie Wonder,
Smokey Robinson and Lionel Richie you
could not buy for money.

changing at the time you moved to Los
Angeles. How?

GORDY: All the small companies were be-
ing swallowed up by big ones. Soon 90
percent of the records were distributed
by six companies.

PLAYBOY: What was the impact of that?
GORDY: Control of the music. It’s harder
for independents to get their records out
there if you control distributors, record
stores and radio and TV stations. It's
much harder for a small company to
break in. The cost had gone up so much.
PLAYBOY: How much would it cost to
market a record?

Gorby: It would cost $100,000 just to
promote one single. That's how expen-
sive it had become. It cost even more
when we had to start making videos be-
cause MTV had become so strong. So
we were losing money. I started think-
ing about the Motown legacy. I never
thought I would sell the business, but I
began to realize it was the only way to
ensure that Motown would survive.
PLAYBOY: Yet you stopped an initial deal
from going through.

GORDY: I wasn't ready to let go, and I had
gotten angry about the restraints they
were putting on me. I couldn't use the
Gordy name for five years, things like
that. I just felt like fighting back so I said
to hell with it. But after a year and a half
1, had to let it go.

PLAYBOY: How bad did it get?

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131

PLAYBOY

GORDY: Real bad. | remembered a few
years before, when I first realized how
bad it was. My accountants told me I was
in trouble, and I said, “What does that
mean?” They said, “You're bankrupt.” I
got crazy. “Why wasn't I told?” They
said, “You were told.” They had sent
memos saying the sales department was
costing too much, the promotion depart-
ment was costing too much, the market-
ing department was costing too much
and I was giving too much to the artists.
See, I was an entrepreneur, and entre-
preneurs are great at building things but
Not so great at controlling the growth as
it explodes.

So I had to sell it, but this time without
the restrictions and for a lot more mon-
ey. It was a big poker game. It was the
biggest poker hand of my life. If I had
lost 1 would have lost everything. Final-
ly, MCA beat the other offers and I got
$61 million.

PLAYBOY: Jesse Jackson accused you of
selling out one of America’s strongest
black companies.

GORDY: Jesse, who had been a longtime
friend, came to discuss it. I told him, “1
have three choices: Sell out, bail out or
fall out. Which do you suggest?" He sort
of laughed and said, “OK, Brother
Berry, do whatever you have to do.”
PLAYBOY: Did you consider going with
the company—staying on to run it?
GORDY: You're kidding.

PLAYBOY: Geflen continued to run Geflen
Records after he sold it.
GORDY: First ofall, David is a much better
businessman than I am, one of the
smartest cats I know. He's such a power-
ful player it's hard to know who's work-

ing for whom. The idea of working Юг
somebody never even crossed my mind.
PLAYBOY: What else could you imagine
doing with your time?

GORDY: First of all, I'm enjoying my free-
dom so much it's incredible. Just know-
ing that I will be blamed only for what I
do and not for what the artist or any-
body at Motown does is wonderful. The
book took five years of my life. Now I
have many options. I went up to Vegas
the other night to see Smokey play at
Caesars Palace. | sat in the audience with
his producer, Michael Stokes, and—I
hadn't done this for years—I turned to
Michael and said, "Give me a piece of
paper, quick!” Here | am watching the
show and writing notes for Smokey, a
guy who is a consummate professional.
But I noticed little things.

PLAYBOY: For example?

GORDY: His voice is as great as ever, but I
thought the overture could have been
more dramatic. I had some ideas for new
arrangements. He opened with a really
nice ballad, but I wanted him to start
out with something more up-tempo. So
I ran backstage and worked my way
through the crowd and Smokey hugged
me and said, “How did you like the
show?” I said, “It was great, it was won-
derful, but, but Гуе got to talk to you.
Look, I have a few notes. ...” He bust-
ed out laughing. Anyway, I realized how
much I love that part of the business.
Who knows? Maybe I would manage
someone again. I'm spending quite a bit
of time restructuring Jobete, our pub-
lishing company, to compete in the 21st
century. Jobete owns most of the copy-
rights to the Motown songs, and those

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There's a gold mine there.

PLAYBOY: You've also been spending time
in South Central, working with kids
What can you tell them that's different
from what they're hearing all the time?
GORDY: First of all, these kids came up in
the same environment as I did, and
some are ex-gang members. I relate to
the kids down there, and I want them to
know that there's nothing they can't do if
they deal with it in a positive way. №
they're smart enough to keep these drug
deals in their heads, keep track of the
money keep ahead of the cops—all
that—imagine what they could do in a
legitimate business with a computer! So
they have a chance to die, go to jail or be-
come rich and famous using talents that
they already have. I want them to know
there's a price tag on everything—to
know about the theory of no free lunch-
es. They may be able to make $2000 a
weck dealing drugs, but the price is
much heavier than most of them realize.
I tell them, "You have to worry about
your mother, your father, your little

brothers, who could be killed. You have
to constantly look over your shoulder."
Suddenly a job for $250 a week in which
they learn computer skills sounds better.
PLAYBOY: What is your take on гар mu-
sic—somgs about niggers, whores and
bitches?

lumber one, not all rap music is
about “niggers, whores and bitches.” 1
have a problem with any song that advo-
cates violence or racism or disrespect to
women. Much of rap is about the condi-
tions under which rappers live. It's a lan-
guage they have developed to describe
what they go through. They're putting it
оп record for everyone to hear. I think
some of it reflects their lifestyles and the
frightening way that they have to live. A
lot of people don't know what's going on
in communities they don’t see, so maybe
it's good to awaken our consciousness to
some of it.

At Motown, we always avoided records
that I thought were bad for society. We
decided оп a case-by-case basis. I didn't
want to put out Norman Whitfield's
Cloud Nine because 1 thought it advocat-
ed drug use. We discussed it back and
forth. He was determined, so I let him
do it. But before I did, we voted on it at
a company meeting. 1 voted against it,
but the rest were for it. The song was a
big hit and was our first Grammy.

But I was always concerned. Artistic
freedom is important, but if you think
something is damaging to society, that's
something else. We have a responsibility
not to hurt people willfully. And we must
remember that creative people are very
powerful. People say it’s just music, but
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134

TOMMY LEE continua fom page 72)

He tried a ruder, Crueder approach with Pamela—no
ring, plenty of booze, no wedding dress.

there's a phoenix over his entire right
thigh and something sort of cute and
rune-like on his belly. There are also
memories of an encounter here or there:
The black rose that won Heather's heart
is outdated, so Tommy cleverly had the
“H” covered up—the tat now reads
"eather"—which fools countless models
into thinking he was an anesthesiologist.
Then he got the bright idea to put “Bob-
bie” on his neck. But with each inamora-
ta there seems to be diminishing returns.
Pamela got only a delicate rendering of
her name on his ring finger, as part of
the traditional exchange of ring-finger
tattoos at their wedding.

Master the art of press relations. Аса char-
ity golf tournament, he engaged Bobbie
Brown in lengthy and repeated make-
‘out sessions for the benefit of the media.
As the display became increasingly te-
dious, one photographer remarked,
“Now I think she’s chewing on his nose
ring.”

Bleed for your fans. During the 1990
tour, Lee sat in a cage that, according
to Rolling Stone, was “equal parts drum
kit, merry-go-round and monorail.” The
crowd had to keep an eye on Lee as he
zipped around above their heads, drum-
ming along to taped recordings of Led
Zeppelin and Edgar Winter. When the
display ended, he'd slide to the ground
on a rope and moon everybody. One
night in New Haven, he fell off the scaf-
folding and hit his head, suffering a mild
concussion. Again, being a drummer, the
difference was barely noticeable.

Play the strong, silent type. “I never want-

ed to be on a pedestal or to be any kind
of a hero,” he says. “I speak through my
music.” That's two beats for yes, one
for no.

Stay in fashion. In the Eighties, Tommy
sported a huge, teased bouffant as if he
had just licked a light socket. (Legend
tells us that Crue once hired a musician
simply because he used the same rinse—
blue-black Nice & Easy—as the rest of
the band.) But once grunge knocked
Crue off MTV, Tommy got wise and
started sporting a shorn head and a goa-
tee. The band has yet to conquer the
next phase of surviving on MTV: learn-
ing to play their instruments.

Be prepared. You never know when
trouble will strike. Perhaps that’s why
Tommy was arrested for trying to carry a
loaded .40 caliber semiautomatic pistol
through airport security at LAX, He's
still no Harry Connick Jr.

Learn how to party.

‘Tommy Lee had a bit of trouble

At L.A.’s House of Blues one night.

Ycah, Tommy Lee got in some trouble

At the House of Blues one night.

He caused such a big brawl

A dozen cops had to stop the fight.

They called in a helicopter

To help scare people away.

They needed a big blue copter

To send the mad crowd away.

At last the punching stopped

When Tommy got hit with pepper

spray.

Keep belting out the hits. Most rational
people would assume that when your
live-in lover—in this case, Bobbie

“She's young and beautiful and
she does things for me that my wife would never do—like,
she cooks with butter.”

Brown—has you arrested for abuse and
you pay $50,000 bail to get released, the
relationship is over. In fact, most rational
women—and men—steer clear of guys
who swing their fists until they see them
in court for a lawsuit. Not so with Bob-
bie and Tommy. They lived happily ev-
er after for a week or so—until Tommy
swooned over Pam Anderson at a New
Year's Eve party.

Learn the proper way to propose. The tra-
ditional approach doesn’t always guar-
antee results. Consider Tommy's fairly
unoriginal but thoughtful proposal to
Heather. He stuck his head through the
sunroof of his limo and asked his sweet-
tempered girlfriend to do the same (now
we know where she gets that hair from).
When she did, he gave her a 2.3 carat di-
amond ring and asked her to marry him
“She said yes,” said Tommy. “Then she
grabbed the ring, sat back down and
screamed, ‘Now get down here!” So he
tried a ruder, Crueder approach with
Pamela—no ring, plenty of booze, no
wedding dress. [t worked. They got
married 12 hours after he proposed one
day at four A.M.

To Tommy Lee's credit, he had gone
on a gallant quest to track Pam down.
Finds out she is somewhere in Cancün,
takes a plane trip to Mexico. Starts cruis-
ing bars—you never know where televi-
sion stars will turn up next. Tries a biki-
ni contest—still no Pam. Finally, she
gives the wandering minstrel some help.
and calls him after hearing of his drunk-
en escapades. At least someone was
thinking—but not too much: One of
Pamela's bridesmaids was a new friend
of Tommy's. You know, the winner of the
bikini contest.

Wediquette. For his quasitraditional
wedding to Heather, Lee wore a white
leather tux and he chewed gum. For his
beach wedding to Pamela, he donned a
pair of big baggy shorts (she, of course,
wore her work dothes—a white string
bikini).

Netiquette. He doesn't just cruise the
beach, he also surfs the Net. As an avid
habitué of the Rocknet Forum on Com-
puserve, he was Motley Crue's ambas-
sador of goodwill to the pocket-protec-
tor set: Whenever someone criticized the
Crue, he'd respond with a heartfelt
“Fuck you!"

Release those pheromones. At the opening
of the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas, by-
standers complained that Tommy Lee
wore a lethal case of B.O. (The leftover
scent from some pepper spray facial,
perhaps?)

Think of your loved one's future. “1 think
we'll be the coolest grandma and grand-
pa in the world,” he said of his marriage
to Heather. “We'll be like 85 or 90. ГИ
still be a rock pig and Heather will still
be gorgeous.” The only thing they won't
be is married.

[y]

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TD fE IZ 72 М”

TREKKIN
(continued from page 65)
manuscripts a year

Virtually all of the hopeful Trek writers
are women. Seventy percent of their
manuscripts fall into one category, what
Trek insiders call the Mary Sue. “The star
is a beautiful young woman, often a
teenager, often half human, half alien,”
explains Ordover. “She's the smartest
person to graduate from Starfleet Acad-
emy. She’s smarter than Data, a better
diplomat than Picard. She single-hand-
edly saves the ship, and everybody falls
in love with her.” And, he ad
most always has the same initials as the
author.”

Pocket Books does not publish Mary
Sues.

Аз for other things that Pocket Books
won't publish, here are excerpts from its
Star Trek submission guidelines, with an-
notations by Ordover:

*No offspring or close relations that
have not already been established. (“I
have seen approximately 200 books
about Kirk's daughter. They're varia-
tions on the Mary Sue.”)

= No traveling in time to change histo-
ty, learn something, rescue someone,
buy groceries, etc.

“Ко plots that mix the characters
from one series with another. (“We even
got one in which the Star Trek crew res-
cues the people from Lost in Space. Dr.
Smith turned out to be a godlike being
who was testing the Robinsons to see
how much they would take before they
killed him.”)

*No explanation of the Vulcan way
beyond what has been done in the TV
series or movies.

*No Pon farr in Spock.

*No plot that hinges on or describes
sexual relations (normal, abnormal or
otherwise). No books that suggest any-
thing other than friendship. between
Kirk and Spock or any other members of
the crew. (“There's a lot of this, but we
don't see most of it because fans write
it only for themselves and one anoth-
er." Indeed, the genre, originally known
as K/S—for Kirk/Spock—but now just
called "slash," has been wildly popular
since the Seventies. It can be found in
zines and on the Internet newsgroups
alt.sex.fetish.startrek and alt.sexy.bald.
captains. Ordover jokes about the en-
during popularity of W/W—Worf/Wes-

among Next Generation fans. "You
оте up to my cabin, boy, and
ГИ show you what wormhole really
means.'”)

In fact, Pocket Books editors will no
longer even look at manuscripts that
haven't been solicited from agents. Or-
dover offers a more realistic submission
guideline: “Don’t send us anything,

please.”
El

he al-

La Veneziana

(continued from page 60)
circled like golden dust, and a bumble-
bee, entangled in the heavy lacework of
a fern, already buzzed with a more re-
served evening tone.

Simpson sat down on a bench spat-
tered with the white traces of dried bird
droppings and hunched over, propping
his elbows on his knees. He sensed the
onset of an auditory hallucination that
had afflicted him since childhood. When
in a meadow, or, as now, in a quiet, al-
ready duskening wood, he would invol-
untarily begin to wonder if, through this
silence, he might perhaps hear the en-
tire enormous world traversing space
with a melodious whistle, the bustle of
distant cities, the pounding of sea waves,
the singing of telegraph wires above the
deserts. Gradually his hearing, guided
by his thoughts, began to detect these
sounds in earnest. He could hear the
chugging of a train even though the
tracks might be dozens of miles away,
then the clanging and screeching of
wheels and—as his recondite hearing
grew ever more acute—the passengers’
voices, their coughs and laughter, the
rustling of their newspapers, and finally,
plunging totally into his acoustic mirage,
he clearly distinguished their heartbeats.
The rolling crescendo of that beat, that
drone, that clangor, deafened Simpson.
He opened his eyes with a shudder and
realized the pounding was that of his
own heart,

“Lugano, Como, Venice,” he mur-
mured as he sat on the bench under a
soundless hazelnut tree. Right away he
heard the subdued plashing of sunny
towns, and then, closer, the tinkling of
bells, the whistle of pigeon wings, a high-
pitched laugh akin to the laugh of Mau-
reen and the ceaseless shuffling of un-
seen passersby. He wanted to halt his
hearing there, but his hearing, like a tor-
rent, rushed ever deeper. Another in-
stant and he was hearing not only their
footfalls but also their hearts. Millions of
hearts were swelling and thundering,
and Simpson, coming fully to his senses,
realized that all those sounds, all those
hearts, were concentrated in the fren-
zied beat of his own.

He raised his head. A light wind, like
the motion of a silk cage, passed along
the avenue. The sun's rays were a gentle
yellow.

He rose with a feeble smile and, for-
getting his racket on the bench, went to-
ward the house. It was time to dress for
dinner.

“105 hot with this fur on, though! No,
Colonel, it's only cat. It's true my Vene-
tian rival wore something more expen-

sive. But the color is the same, isn't it? A
perfect likeness, in short.”

"If I dared, I would coat you with var-
nish and send Luciani's canvas to the at-
tic,” countered the Colonel, who, in spite
of his strict principles, was not averse to
challenging a lady as attractive as Mau-
reen toa flirtatious verbal duel.

“I would split with laughter,” Mau-
reen parried.

“I fear, Mrs. McGore, that we make a
terribly poor background for you,” said
Frank with a broad, boyish grin. “We are
crude, complacent anachronisms. Now if
your husband were to don a coat of
armor——"

“Fiddlesticks,” said McGore. “The im-
pression of antiquity can be evoked аз
easily as the impression of color by press-
ing one's upper eyelid. On occasion I al-
low myself the luxury of imagining to-
day’s world, our machines, our fashions,
as it will appear to our descendants 400
or 500 years hence. I assure you that I
feel as ancient as a Renaissance monk.”

“Have some more wine, my dear
Simpson,” offered the Colonel.

Bashful, quiet Simpson, who was seat-
ed between McGore and his wife, had
prematurely put his large fork to work
during the second course, when he
should have used the small one, so that
he had only the small fork and a large
knife for the meat course, and now, as he
manipulated them, one of his hands had
a kind of limp. When the main course
was brought around a second time, he
helped himself out of nervousness, then
noticed he was the only one eating and
that everyone else was waiting impa-
tiently for him to finish. He got so flus-
tered that he pushed away his still-full
plate, nearly knocked over his glass and
began reddening. He had already come
ablaze several times during dinner, not
because he actually had something to be
ashamed about but because he thought
how he might blush for no reason, and
then the pink blood colored his cheeks,
his forehead, even his neck. It was no
more possible to halt that blind, agoniz-
ing, hot flush than to confine the merg-
ing sun behind its cloud. At the first such
onset he deliberately dropped his nap-
kin, but when he raised his head, he was
a fearful sight: At any moment his
starched collar would catch fire too. An-
other time he tried to suppress the
onslaught of the hot, silent wave by
addressing 2 question to Maureen—
whether or not she liked playing lawn
tennis—but Maureen, alas, did not hear
him and asked him what he had said,
whereupon, as he repeated his foolish
phrase, Simpson instantly blushed to the
point of tears and Maureen, out of char-
ity, turned away and started on some
other topic.

The fact that he was sitting next to her,

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sensing the warmth of her cheek and of
her shoulder, from which, as in the
painting, the gray fur was slipping, and
that she seemed about to pull it up but
stopped at Simpson's question, extend-
ing and twinning her slender, elongated
fingers, filled him with such languor that
there was a moist sparkle in his eyes
from the crystal blaze of the wineglasses.
He kept imagining that the circular table
was an illuminated island, slowly revolv-
ing, floating somewhere, gently carrying
off those seated around it. Through the
open French windows one could see, in
the distance, the skittle shapes of the ter-
race balustrade, and the breath of the
blue night air was stifling. Maureen's
nostrils inhaled this air; her soft, totally
dark eyes remained unsmiling as they
glided from face to face, even when a
smile would faintly raise a corner of her
tender, unpsinted lips. Her face re-
mained within a somewhat swarthy
shadow, and only her forehead was
bathed by the levigate light. She said
fatuous, funny things. Everyone
laughed, and the wine gave the Colonel
a nice flush. McGore, who was peeling
an apple, encircled it with his palm like a
monkey, his small face with its halo of
gray hair wrinkled from the effort, and
the silver knife tightly clutched in his
dark, hairy fist detached endless spirals
of red-and-yellow peel. Frank's face was
not visible to Simpson, since between
them stood a bouquet of flaming, fleshy
dahlias in a sparkling vase.

After supper, which ended with port
and coffee, the Colonel, Maureen and
Frank sat down to play bridge, with a
dummy since the other two did not play.

The old restorer went out, bandy-
legged, to the darkened balcony, and
Simpson followed, feeling Maureen's
warmth recede behind him.

McGore eased himself with а grunt in-
toa wicker chair near the balustrade and
offered Simpson a cigar. Simpson
perched sideways on the railing and lit
up awkwardly, narrowing his eyes and
inflating his cheeks.

"I guess you like that old rake del Pi-
ombo's Venetian lass,” said McGore, ге-
leasing a rosy puff of smoke into the
darkness.

“Very much,” replied Simpson,
adding, “of course, I don’t know any-
thing about pictures——"

“All the same, you liked it,” nodded
McGore. “Splendid. That's the first step
toward understanding. I, for one, have
dedicated my whole life to this.”

“She looks absolutely real,” Simpson
said pensively. “It’s enough to make one
believe mysterious tales about portraits
coming to life. I read somewhere that
some king descended from a canvas, and
as soon as —"

McGore dissolved іп a subdued, brittle

140 laugh. “That's nonsense, of course. But

another phenomenon does occur—the
inverse, so to speak.”

Simpson glanced at him. In the dark
of the night his starched shirtfront
bulged like a whitish hump, and the
light of his cigar, like a ruby pinecone, il-
lumined his small, wrinkled face from
below. He had had a lot of wine and was
apparendy in the mood to talk.

“Here is what happens,” he continued
unhurriedly. “Instead of inviting a paint-
ed figure to step out of its frame, imag-
ine someone managing to step into the
picture himself. Makes you laugh,
doesn't it? And yet I've done it many a
time. 1 have had the good fortune of vis-
iting all the art museums of Europe,
from the Hague to Petersburg and from
London to Madrid. When I found a
painting I particularly liked, 1 would
stand directly in front of it and concen-
trate all my willpower on one thought: to
enter it. It was an eerie sensation, of
course. I felt like the Apostle about to
step off his bark onto the water's surface.
But what bliss ensued! Let us say I was
facing a Flemish canvas, with the Holy
Family in the foreground, against a
smooth, limpid landscape. You know,
with a road zigzagging like a white
snake, and green hills. Then, finally, 1
would take the plunge. I broke free from
real life and entered the painting. A
miraculous sensation! The coolness, the
placid air permeated with wax and in-
cense. I became a living part of the
painting and everything around me
came alive. The pilgrims’ silhouettes on
the road began to move. The Virgin
Mary was saying something in a Flemish
patter. The wind rippled through the
conventional flowers. The clouds were
gliding. But the delight did not last long.
I would get the feeling that I was softly
congealing, cohering with the canvas,
merging into a film of oil color. Then I
would shut my eyes tight, yank with all
my strength and leap out. There was a
gentle pop, as when you pull your foot
ош of the mud. I would open my eyes
and find myself lying on the floor be-
neath a splendid but lifeless painting.”

Simpson listened with attention and
embarrassment. When McGore paused,
he gave a barely perceptible start and
looked around. Everything was as be-
fore. Below, the garden breathed the
darkness; one could see the dimly lit din-
ing room through the glass door and, in
the distance, through another open
doorway, a bright corner of the parlor
with three figures playing cards. What
strange things McGore was saying!

“You understand, don't you,” he con-
tinued, shaking off some scaly ash, “that
in another instant the painting would
have sucked me in forever. 1 would have
vanished into its depths and lived on in
its landscape, or else grown weak with
terror, and lacking the strength either to

return to the real world or to penetrate
the new dimension, I would have jelled
into a figure painted on the canvas, like
the anachronism Frank was talking
about. Yet, despite the danger, I have
yielded to temptation time after time. . . .
Oh, my friend, Гуе fallen in love with
Madonnas! I remember my first infatua-
tion—a Madonna with an azure corona,
by the delicate Raffaello. Beyond her, at
a distance, two men stood by a column,
chatting calmly. 1 eavesdropped on their
conversation—they were discussing the
worth of some dagger. But the most en-
chanting Madonna of all comes from the
brush of Bernardino Luini. All his cre-
ations contain the quiet delicacy of the
lake on whose shore he was born, Lago
Maggiore. The most delicate of masters.
His name even yielded a new adjective,
luinesco. His best Madonna has long, ca-
ressingly lowered eyes, and her apparel
has light-blue, rose-red, misty-orange
tints. A gaseous, rippling haze encircles
her brow and that of her reddish-haired
infant. He raises а pale apple toward her,
she looks at it, lowering her gentle, elon-
gated eyes. . . . Luinesque eyes. God,
how I kissed them.”

McGore fell silent and a dreamy smile
tinged his thin lips, lighted by the cigar's
glow. Simpson held his breath, and, as
before, felt he was slowly gliding off into
the night.

“Complications did occur,” McGore
went on after clearing his throat. “I got
an ache in my kidneys after a goblet of
strong cider that a plump Rubens bac-
chante once served me, and I caught
such a chill on the foggy, yellow skating
rink of one of the Dutchmen that I went
on coughing and bringing up phlegm
for a month. That's the kind of thing
that can happen, Mr. Simpson.”

Мсбоге 5 chair creaked as he rose and
straightened his waistcoat. “Got carried
away,” he remarked. “Time for bed. God
knows how long they'll go on slapping
their cards about. I'm off—goodnight.”

He crossed the dining room and the
parlor, nodding to the players as he
went, and disappeared in the shadows
beyond. Simpson was left alone on the
balustrade. His ears rang with McGore's
voice. The magnificent starry night
reached to the very balcony, and the
enormous velvety shapes of the black
trees were motionless. Through the
French window, beyond a band of dark-
ness, he could see the pink-hued parlor
lamp, the table, the players’ faces rouged
by the light. He saw the Colonel rise.
Frank followed suit. From afar, as if over
the telephone, came the Colonel's voice.
“I'm ап old man, I turn in early. Good-
night, Mrs. McGore.”

And Maureen's laughing voice: “I'll go
in a minute, too, or else my husband will
be cross with me.”

Simpson heard the door dose behind
the Colonel. Then an extraordinary
thing happened. From his vantage point

in the darkness he saw Maureen and
Frank, now alone far off in that lacuna of
mellow light, slip into each other's arms.
He saw Maureen fling back her head
and bend it back farther and farther be-
neath Frank's violent and prolonged
kiss. Then, catching up her fur and giv-
ing Frank's hair a ruffle, she disap-
peared into the distance with a muffled
slam of the door. Frank smoothed his
hair with а smile, thrust his hands in his
pockets and, whistling softly, crossed the
dining room on his way to the balcony.
Simpson was so flabbergasted that he
froze, his fingers clutching the railing,
and gazed with horror as the starched
shirtfront and the dark shoulder ap-
proached through the glass. When he
came out onto the balcony and saw his
friend’s silhouette in the dark, Frank
gave a slight shudder and bit his lip.

Simpson awkwardly crawled off the
railing. His legs were wembling. He
made a heroic effori

“Marvelous night. McGore and I have
been chatting out here.”

Frank said calmly, “He lies a lot, that
McGore. On the other hand, when he
gets going he’s worth a listen.”

“Yes, it's very curious,” Simpson con-
curred lamely.

“The Big Dipper,” Frank said and
yawned with his mouth closed. Then, in
an even voice, he added, “Of course, I
know that you are a perfect gentleman,
Simpson.”

Next morning a warm drizzle came
pattering, shimmering, stretching in
thin threads across the dark background
of the forest's depths. Only three people
came down for breakfast— the
Colonel and listless, wan Simpson; then
Frank, fresh, bathed, shaved to a high
gloss, with an innocent smile on his over-
ly thin lips.

The Colonel was markedly out of spir-
its. The night before, during the bridge
game, he had noticed something. Bend-
ing down hastily to retrieve a dropped
card, he had seen Frank’s knee pressed
against Maureen's. This must be stopped
immediately. For some time already the
Colonel had had an inkling that some-
thing was not right. No wonder Frank
had rushed off to Rome, where the
McGores always went in the spring. His
son was free to do as he liked, but to
stand for something like this here, at
home, in the ancestral castle—no, the
most stringent measures must be taken
immediately. The Colonel's displeasure
had a disastrous effect on Simpson. He
had the impression that his presence was
a burden to his host and was at a loss for
a subject of conversation. Frank was
jovial as always and, his teeth asparkle,
munched with gusto on hot toast spread
with orange marmalade.

When they had finished their coffee,

the Colonel lit his pipe and rose.

"Didn't you want to take a look at the
new automobile, Frank? Let’s walk over
to the garage. Nothing to do in this rain
anyway.”

Then, sensing that poor Simpson had
remained mentally suspended in mid-
air, the Colonel added, “I’ve got a few
good books here, my dear Simpson.
Help yourself if you wish.”

Simpson came to a start and
pulled a bulky red volume down from
the shelf. It turned out to be the Veteri-
nary Herald from 1895.

Simpson found it somehow terrifying
that today, too, breakfast would be fol-
lowed by lunch, tea by supper, with i
olable regularity. He wanted to scream at
the thought that things would continue
like this. He wanted to struggle like
someone who has awakened in his coffin.
‘The drizzle was still shimmering outside

the window, and having to stay indoors
made his ears ring as they do when you
have a fever.

McGore spent the whole day in the
workshop that had been set up for him
іп one of the castle’s towers. He was busy
restoring the varnish of a small, dark
picture painted on wood. The workshop
smelled of glue, turpentine and garlic,
which is used for removing greasy spots
from paintings. On a small carpenter's
bench near the press sparkled retorts
containing hydrochloric acid and alco-
hol; scattered about were scraps of flan-
nel, nostriled sponges, assorted scrapers.
McGore was wearing an old dressing
gown, glasses, a shirt with no staid collar
and a stud nearly the size of a doorbell
button protruding right under his

“What are they doing now?”

141

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Adam's apple; his neck was thin, gray
and covered with senile excrescences,
and a black skullcap covered his bald
spot. With the delicate rotary rubbing of
his fingers already familiar to the reader,
he was sprinkling a pinch of ground tar,
carefully rubbing it into the painting so
that the old, yellowed varnish, abraded
by the powdery particles, itself turned
into dry dust.

The castle’s other denizens sat in the
parlor. The Colonel had angrily unfold-
ed a giant newspaper and, as he gradu-
ally cooled down, was reading aloud an
emphatically conservative article. Then
Maureen and Frank got involved in a
game of Ping-Pong. The little celluloid
ball, with its crackly, melancholy ring,
flew back and forth across the green net
intersecting the long table. ОЁ course
Frank played masterfully, moving only
his wrist as he nimbly flicked the thin
wooden paddle left and right.

Simpson traversed all the rooms, bit-
ing his lips and adjusting his pince-nez.
Eventually he reached the gallery. Pale
as death, carefully closing behind him
the heavy, silent door, he tiptoed up to
Fra Bastiano del Piombo's Veneziana. She
greeted him with her familiar opaque
gaze, and her long fingers paused on
their way to her fur wrap, to the slipping
crimson folds. Caressed by а whiff of
honeyed darkness, he glanced into the
depths of the window that interrupted
the black background. Sand-tinted
clouds stretched across the greenish
blue; toward them rose dark, fractured
cliffs amid which wound a pale-hued
trail, while, lower down, there were in-
distinct wooden huts. In one of them,
Simpson thought he saw a point of light
flicker for an instant. As he peered
through this ethereal window, he sensed
that the Venetian lady was smiling, but
his glance failed to catch that smile; only
the shaded right comer of her gently
joined lips was slightly raised. At that
moment something within him deli-
ciously gave way, and he yielded totally
to the picture's warm enchantment. One
must bear in mind that he was a man of
morbidly rapturous temperament, that
he had no idea of life’s realities and that,
for him, impressionability took the place
of intellect. A cold tremor, like a quick,
dry hand, brushed his back, and he real-
ized immediately what he must do. How-
ever, when he looked around and saw
the sheen of the parquet and the table,
and the blind white gloss ofthe paintings
where the drizzly light pouring through
the window fell on them, he had a feel-
ing of shame and fear. And, in spite of
another momentary surge of the previ-
ous enchantment, he already knew that
he could hardly carry out what a minute
ago he could have done unthinkingly.

Fixing his eyes on the Veneziana's face,
he backed away from her and suddenly

flung apart his arms. His coccyx banged
painfully on something. He looked
around and saw the black table behind
him. Trying to think about nothing, he
climbed onto it, stood fully erect facing
the Venetian lady and once again, with
an upward sweep of his arms, prepared
to fly to her.

“Astonishing way to admire a painting.
Invented it yourself, did you?”

It was Frank. He was standing, legs
apart, in the doorway and gazing at
Simpson with icy derision.

With a wild glint of pince-nez lenses in
his direction, Simpson staggered awk-
wardly, like an alarmed lunatic. Then he
hunched over, flushed hotly and clam-
bered to the floor.

Frank’s face wrinkled with acute re-
vulsion as he silently left the room.
Simpson lunged after him.

“Please, I beg you, don't tell anyone.”
Without turning or stopping, Frank
gave a squeamish shrug.

Toward evening the rain unexpected-
ly ceased. A humid orange sunset came
aquiver amid the boughs, broadened,
was reflected in all the puddles simulta-
neously. Dour little McGore was dis-
lodged from his tower by force. He
smelled of turpentine and had burned
his hand with a hot iron. He reluctantly
pulled on his black coat, turned up the
collar and went out with the others for a
stroll. Only Simpson stayed home, on
the pretext that he absolutely must an-
swer a letter brought by the evening
post. Actually, no answer was required,
since it was from the university milkman
and demanded immediate payment of a
bill for two shillings ninepence.

For a long time Simpson sat in the ad-
vancing twilight, leaning back aimlessly
in the leather armchair. Then, with a
shudder, he realized that he was falling
asleep and started thinking how he
could get away from the castle as quickly
as possible. The simplest way would be
to say his father wa ike many bash-
ful people, Simpson was capable of lying
without batting an eyelash. Yet it was
difficult for him to leave. Something
dark and delicious held him back. How
attractive the dark rocks looked in the
chasm. What a joy it would be to em-
brace her shoulder, to take from her left
hand the basket with its yellow fruit, to
walk off peacefully with her along that
pale path into the penumbra of the
Venetian evening.

Once again he caught himself falling
asleep. He got up and washed his hands.
From downstairs sounded the spherical,
dignified dinner gong.

Dinner was followed by the invariable
game of bridge, during which Frank and
Maureen did not even glance at each

other. МсСоге went off to work; Simp-
son sat in a corner and opened a portfo-
lio of prints, glancing only a few times
from his corner at the players, having
marveled in passing that Frank was so
cold toward him, while Maureen seemed
to have faded somehow, to have yielded
her place to another.

How insignificant these thoughts were
compared to the sublime anticipation,
the enormous excitement, that he now
tried to outwit by examining indistinct
lithographs.

When they were parting company and
Maureen nodded to him with a good-
night smile, he absendy, unabashedly,
smiled back.

Simpson awoke exactly at midnight.
Не had just fallen asleep and, as some-
times happens, the very act of falling
asleep was what woke him. Propping
himself on one arm, he looked into the
darkness. His heart was thumping
rapidly because he sensed that Maureen
had entered his room. Just now, in his
momentary dream, he had been talking
to her, helping her climb the waxen path
between black cliffs with their occasional
glossy, oil-paint fissures. Now and then a
dulcet breeze made the narrow white
headdress quiver gently, like a sheet of
thin paper, on her dark hair.

With a stifled exclamation Simpson
felt for the switch. The light came in a
spurt. There was no one in the room. He
felt an acute sting of disappointment and
lapsed into thought, shaking his head
like a drunk. Then, moving drowsily, he
rose from the bed and started to dress,
listlessly smacking his lips. He was guid-
ed by a sensation that he must dress se-
verely and smartly. So it was with a kind
of somnolent meticulousness that he
buttoned his low waistcoat on his belly,
tied the black bow of his tie and for a
long time pinched with two fingers at a
nonexistent little worm on the satin lapel
of his jacket. Vaguely recollecting that
the simplest way into the gallery was
from outdoors, he slipped out like a
silent breeze through the French win-
dow into the dark, humid garden. Look-
ing as if they had been doused with mer-
cury, black bushes glistened in the
starlight. Somewhere an owl was hoot-
ing. With a light, quick step Simpson
walked across the lawn, amid the bushes,
rounding the house. For a moment he
was sobered by the night's freshness and
the intensely shining stars. He stopped,
bent over and then collapsed like an
empty suit of clothes onto the grass in
the narrow interstice between flower bed
and castle wall. A wave of drowsiness
came over him, and he tried to shake it
off with a jerk of his shoulder. He had to
hurry. She was waiting. He thought he
heard her insistent whisper. . . .

He was unaware of how he had gotten

up, gone indoors and switched on the
lights, bathing Luciani's canvas in a
warm sheen. The Venetian girl stood
half facing him, alive and three-dimen-
sional. Her dark eyes gazed into his
without the sparkle; the rosy fabric of
her blouse set off with an unhabitual
warmth the dark-hued beauty of her
neck and the delicate creases under her
car. A gently mocking smile was frozen
at the right corner of her expectantly
joined lips. Her long fingers, spread in
twos, stretched toward her shoulder,
from which the fur and velvet were
about to fall.

And Simpson, with a profound sigh,
moved toward her and effortlessly en-
tered the painting. A marvelous fresh-
ness immediately made his head spin.
There he was, standing in a bare black
room of some kind, by a window that
opened on evening, and at his very side
stood a real Venetian Maureen—tall,
gorgeous, all aglow from within. He real-
ized that the miracle had happened and
slowly moved toward her. With a side-
wise smile La Veneziana gently adjusted
her fur and, lowering her hand into her
basket, handed him a small lemon. With-
out taking his eyes off her now playfully
mobile eyes, he accepted the yellow fruit
from her hand, and as soon as he felt its
firm, rough coolness and the dry
warmth of her long fingers, an incredi-
ble bliss came to a boil within him and
began deliciously burbling. Then, with a
start, he looked behind him toward the
window. There, along a pale path amid
some rocks, walked blue silhouettes with
hoods and small lanterns. Simpson
looked about the room in which he was
standing, but without any awareness of a
floor beneath his feet. In the distance,
instead of a fourth wall, a far, familiar
hall glimmered like water, with the black
island of a table at its center. It was then
that a sudden terror made him compress
the cold little lemon. The enchantment
had dissolved. He tried looking to his
left at the girl but was unable to turn his
neck. He was mired like a fly in honey—
he gave a jerk and got stuck, feeling his
blood and fiesh and clothing turning in-
to paint, growing into the varnish, dry-
ing on the canvas. He had become part.
of the painting, depicted in a ridiculous
pose next to the Veneziana, and, directly
in front of him, even more distinct than
before, stretched the hall, filled with live,
terrestrial air that henceforth he would
not breathe.

Next morning McGore woke up earli-
er than usual. With his bare, hairy fect,
with toenails like black pearls, he groped
for his slippers and softly padded along
the corridor to the door of his wife's
room. They had had no conjugal rela-
tions for more than a year, but he never-
theless visited her every morning and

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PLAYBOY

144

watched with powerless excitement
while she did her hair, jerking her head
energetically as the comb chirruped
through the chestnut wing of the taut
tresses. Today, entering her room at this
early hour, he found the bed made and a
sheet of paper pinned to the headboard.
McGore produced from the pocket of his
dressing gown an enormous eyeglass
case and, without putting on the glasses
but simply holding them up to his eyes,
leaned over the pillow and read the
minute, familiar writing on the note.
When he had finished he meticulously
replaced his glasses in their case, un-
pinned and folded the sheet, stood lost
in thought for an instant and then
shuffled resolutely out of the room. In
the corridor he collided with the waiter,
who glanced at him with alarm.

“What, is the Colonel up already?”
asked McGore.

‘The waiter answered hurriedly, “Yes,
sir. The Colonel is in the picture gallery.
I'm afraid, sir, that he's very cross. I was
sent to wake up the young gentleman.”

Without waiting to hear him out,
wrapping his mouse-colored robe
around him as he went, McGore set off
quickly for the gallery. Also in his dress-
ing gown, from beneath which protrud-
ed the folds of his striped pajama bot-
toms, the Colonel was pacing along the
wall. His mustache bristled and his crim-
son-flushed countenance was terrifying
to behold. Seeing McGore, he stopped,
and after some preliminary lip-chewing,
roared, “Неге, have a good look!”

McGore, to whom the Colonel's ire
mattered little, nevertheless inadvertent-
ly looked where his hand was pointing
and saw something truly incredible. On
the Luciani canvas, next to the Venetian
girl, an additional figure had appeared.
It was an excellent, if hastily executed,
portrait of Simpson. Gaunt, his black
jacket strongly highlighted by the lighter
background, his feet turned oddly out-
ward, he extended his hands as if in sup-
plication. His pallid face was distorted by
a pitiful, frantic expression.

“Like it?” the Colonel inquired furi-
ously. "No worse than Bastiano himself,
15 it? The vile brat! That's his revenge for
my kindhearted advice, Just wait.”

‘The waiter came in, distraught.

“Mr. Frank is not in his room, sir. And
his things are gone. Mr. Simpson has dis-
appeared too, sir He must have gone
out for a stroll, sir, seeing as how it’s such
a fine morning.

“To hell with the morning!” thun-
dered the Colonel. "This very instant, I
want——”

“May I be so bold as to inform you,”
the waiter added meekly, “that the
chauffeur was just here and said the new
motorcar has disappeared from the
garage.”

“Colonel,” McGore said softly, “I think
1 can explain what's happened.”

He glanced at the waiter, who was tip-

toeing out.

“Now then,” McGore went on in a
bored tone, “your supposition that it was
indeed your son who painted in that
figure is doubtless right. But, in addi-
tion, I gather from a note that was left
for me that he departed at daybreak
with my wife.”

The Colonel was a gentleman and an
Englishman. He immediately felt that to
vent one's anger in front of a man whose
wife had just run off was improper.
Therefore he went over to a window,
swallowed half his anger and blew the
other half outdoors, smoothed his mus-
tache and, regaining his calm, addressed
McGore.

“Allow me, my dear friend,” he said
courteously, “to assure you of my sincer-
est, deepest sympathy, rather than dwell
on the wrath I feel toward the perpetra-
tor of your calamity. Nevertheless, while
1 understand the state you are in, I
must—I am obliged to, my friend—ask
an immediate favor of you. Your art will
rescue my honor. Today I am expecting
young Lord Northwick from London,
the owner, as you know, of another
painting by the same del Piombo."

McGore nodded. “I'll bring the neces-
sary implements, Colonel.”

He was back in a couple of minutes,
still in his dressing gown, carrying a
wooden case. He opened it immediately,
produced a bottle of ammonia, a roll of
cotton wool, rags and scrapers, and went
to work. As he scraped and rubbed
Simpson’s dark figure and white face
from the varnish he did not give a
thought to what he was doing. What he
was thinking about should not arouse
the curiosity of a reader respectful of an-
other's grief. In half an hour Simpson's
portrait was completely gone, and the
slightly damp paints of which he had
consisted remained on МсСоге rags.

“Remarkable,” said the Colonel. “Re-
markable. Poor Simpson has disap-
peared without a trace.”

How strange, McGore thought, how
very strange. Is it possible that— He
looked at the rags with the paint sticking
to them and abruptly, with an odd
frown, wadded them together and
tossed them out the window by which he
had been working. Then he ran his palm
across his forehead with a frightened
glance at the Colonel—who, interpret-
ing his agitation differently, was trying
not to look at him—and, with uncharac-
teristic haste, went out of the hall
straight into the garden.

There, beneath the window, between
the wall and the rhododendrons, the
gardener stood scratching the top of his
head оуег а man in black lying facedown
on the lawn. McGore quickly approached.

Moving his arm, the man turned over.
Then, with a flustered smirk, he got up.

“Simpson, for heaven's sake, what's
happened?” asked McGore, peering into
his pale countenance.

Simpson gave a laugh

“Tm awfully sorry. 105 so silly... . I
went out for a stroll last night and fell
asleep, right here on the grass. Ow, I'm
all aches and pains. I had a monstrous
dream. . . . What time is it?”

Left alone, the gardener gave a disap-
proving shake of his head as he looked at
the matted lawn. Then he bent down
and picked up a small dark lemon bear-
ing the imprint of five fingers. He stuck
the lemon in his pocket and went to
fetch the stone roller he had left on the
tennis court.

Thus the dry, wrinkled fruit the gar-
dener happened to find remains the on-
ly riddle of this tale. The chauffeur, dis-
patched to the station, returned with the
black car and a note Frank had inserted
into the leather pouch above the seat.

The Colonel read it aloud to McGore:

“Dear Father,” wrote Frank, “I have
fulfilled two of your wishes. You did not
want any romances going on in your
house, so J am leaving and taking with
me the woman without whom J cannot
live. You also wanted to see a sample of
my art. That is why 1 made you а por-
trait of my former friend, whom you can
tell for me, by the way, that informers
only make me laugh. I painted him at
night, from memory, so if the resem-
blance is imperfect it is from lack of time,
poor light and my understandable haste.
Your new car runs fine. I am leaving it
for you at the station garage."

"Splendid," hissed the Colonel, “ех-
cept I'd be very curious to know what
money you're going to live on.”

McGore, paling like a fetus in alcohol,
cleared his throat and said, “There is no
reason to conceal the truth from you,
Colonel. Luciani never painted your
Veneziana. It is nothing more than a mag-
nificent imitation.”

The Colonel slowly rose.

“It was done by your son,” McGore
went on, and suddenly the corners of his
mouth began to tremble and drop. “In
Rome. I procured the canvas and paints
for him. He seduced me with his talent.
Half the sum you paid went to him. Oh,
dear God... .”

The Colonel’s jaw muscles contracted
as he looked at the dirty handkerchief
with which McGore was wiping his eyes
and realized that the poor fellow was not
joking.

Then he turned and looked at La
Veneziana. Her forehead glowed against
the dark background, her long fingers
glowed more gently, the lynx fur was
slipping bewitchingly from her shoulder
and there was a secretly mocking smile
at the corner of her lips.

“I'm proud of my son,” the Colonel
said calmly.

—Translated from the Russian by Dmitri
Nabokov. ғ

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PLAYBOY

TRACI АЕЦ, continue from page 59)

“How dumb can you be if you’re that comical? Kato
just can't manage to put а life together.”

negatively. So I cooperated. I'm disap-
pointed in myself. I should never have
talked to them because it wasn’t impor-
tant enough to talk about.”

More stories followed, from respected
publications—The New Yorker and Es-
quire—and from the National Enquirer,
which put Traci’s picture on the cover
next to Nicole and OJ's girlfriend,
Paula Barbieri, with the headline 0J-s
women. It was a bit of a stretch, even for
the Enquirer. “I never met O.J. in person
and I never would have gone out with
him,” explains Traci. “He had a reputa-
tion as а womanizer, and that’s not what
I'm interested in.”

Even more absurd was the media’s in-
sistence that she psychoanalyze O.J. on
the basis of one phone call. “What
freaked me out most,” says Traci, “was
talking with someone who seemed like a
normal guy and then realizing that, six
hours later, he might have lost it com-
pletely. Ivs incomprehensible to me.
How could I have known? Its not like
there’s a natural course of action for
someone who's about to snap. If I had it

to do over again, I wouldn't talk to the
media at all. I just want to set the record
straight and move on.”

These days, Traci concentrates on her
career. There are two new movies, Dead-
ly Ties, in which she plays an FBI agent
gone wrong, and Showdown at Sundown,
which features her as a young Zsa Zsa
Gabor type. She also writes: She's com-
pleted two children’s books, titled Miss
Daisy and Willie the Bug Catcher, and a
love story, Mary and Ben.

Of course, like everyone else, she pays
close attention to the goings-on in Judge
Lance Ito's courtroom. And it's not only
Simpson she’s had contact with, In fact,
O.J. got Traci's phone number from the
trial's chief comic relief, Kato Kaelin.

Traci had met Kato in January 1994.
He was visiting the apartment complex
where she lived and spotted her as she
returned home one night. “A few min-
utes later,” Traci recalls, “he was at my
door asking, ‘Do you have any birthday
candles? I'm ata party downstairs and I
need birthday candles.’ I'm a private
person and I don't like people stopping

SORA, WE
DON'T SERVE

Еоор,

by my apartment, but he was likable and
funny.” After that night, they spoke а few
more times: Kato tried to introduce her
to his friends and even set her up for an
audition. She declined to enter his social
circle, however, and didn't hear from
him again until the day before the mur-
ders, when he left her a message an-
nouncing O.].'s impending call.

Although she had only brief contact
with Simpson, she got to know his for-
mer houseguest a bit better. She notes
that Kato was 35 years old and a father,
but acted like a teenager. “His career
wasn't really taking off, and he seemed
to have decided to just have fun,” says
Traci. She found him to be engaging and
dever. “The world is saying that Kato
can't be that bright because he hasn't
done much with his life so far. But part
of his brain is very quick—I don't know
how dumb you can be if you're that com-
ical. He just can't put a life together.”

Kato was a court jester even before the
trial. His role as buddy to the stars was
puzzling to Traci, who puts her social life
a distant second to her career. “This
town is based on successful people hav-
ing flunky friends,” she explains. “That
pumps them up and makes them feel
good. I'm not calling Kato a flunky, be-
cause he is very likable. He adds energy
to a room with his conversation. Many
celebrities are lonely, and while there are
plenty of fun people around, you better
watch out, because they'll take advan-
tage of you. With Kato, you knew he
wasn't going to rip off your bank ac-
count. He was harmless.”

While Traci watched Kato pursue the
good life, she became more determined
to focus оп her career. “I didn't come to
Los Angeles to goof off or party,” Traci
says emphatically. “I came here for my
dreams and my spirit.”

Nor did Traci move to California to be
part of an O.J. media circus. And while
she sees that as a painful experience, at
least it taught her something. “To come
out here and meet con artists and all
kinds of people really threw me,” she
says. “But Гуе come to terms with
things, especially in the past year. I'm
more mature and not so afraid. Now 1
know how to protect myself. You can't
survive out here and be naive, and the
past year has helped me get over my
naivete.”

No matter how well she understands
Los Angeles and the entertainment in-
dustry, she’s still not sure she likes them.
Away from her family and friends in
Memphis, Traci suffers occasional bouts
of homesickness and culture shock.

“Los Angeles is so different from
Memphis,” she notes. “This is such a
transient city. I miss the real relation-
ships. My life was so normal back home.
You know, there are no Katos in Memphis.”

BOB ZEMECKIS

(continued from page 98)
movies are filled with dark, discordant
themes. The most vivid presence in Back
to the Future is the most troubling:
Crispin Glover's portrayal of the teenage
George McFly, Marty's wretched misfit
of a father-to-be, who is endlessly terror-
ized by Biff, the high school bully.

In the nightmare world of Back to the
Future Pari И, Biff temporarily hijacks
the American dream. He has become a
loathsome and humorless robber baron
based in Las Vegas. In Roger Rabbit, the
malevolent Judge Doom is an all-de-
vouring developer whose freeway exten-
sion will wipe out Toontown. In Death
Becomes Her, immortality becomes а gris-
ly joke. Unable to die, the two rival beau-
ties simply rot out.

The question posed by all this discor-
dant stuff is the same one Zemeckis
raised at the Directors Guild: What is it
that directors do? Is Zemeckis as deeply
thoughtful an artist as some would have
us believe? Or is he a man with an abun-
dant comic gift who, like most directors
of comedy, including Jules White, simply
rings in every wild plot twist and hateful
villain he can think of? Until recently,
such distinctions were debated mainly
among film buffs and academic critics;
ordinary people went to Zemeckis’ moy-
ies to have fun, and they were rarely dis-
appointed. Then came Forrest Gump,
which, in the course of capturing a vast
audience, also stirred lively debate.

Many people have loved Gump. They
have been moved by what they see as the
sweet innocence of its hero, who lopes
across а vast historical landscape he com-
prehends only partially. Others have
sought to turn Gump into an audiovisual
book of virtues. Pat Buchanan hailed it
as “a morality play where decency, hon-
esty and fidelity triumph over the values
of Hollywood” (as if Hollywood didnt
understand what it had brought forth).

Others have found Gump resistible or
worse. Janet Maslin, writing in The New
York Times, saw “the elements of an emo-
tionally gripping story,” yet she conclud-
ed that the movie “feels less like a ro-
mance than like a coffee-table book
celebrating the magic of special effects.”
Jonathan Rosenbaum, in the Chicago
Reader, called it “the most pernicious
movie of the year,” one in which “oblivi-
ousness parading as purity, stupidity
parading as honesty and xenophobia
and narcissism parading as patriotism
triumph over gross misrepresentations
of the countercultural values of the Six-
ties and Seventies.”

For Spielberg, it's a clear call: The
movie is an admirable mirror of the man
who made it. “The closest to who Bob re-
ally is is Gump,” Spielberg says. “He takes
advantage of how important certain mo-
ments in American history have been
in his life, including Vietnam—even

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though he wasn't old enough to serve.
"Тһе most serious parts ofthe movie аге
about Vietnam, and I think they're every
bit as good as Platoon. At the same time,
a lot of the movie has that irascible social
irreverence, especially when Gump be-
comes an American icon as a long-dis-
tance runner.”

Bob Gale sees similar reflections of the
same man. “I got a kick out of going to
the first screening of Gump,” he tells me,
"and hearing people say, “Му God, it's so.
unlike Bob Zemeckis.’ I look at it and
think, This is Bob Zemeckis. It's the per-
fect expression of his sensibilities. When
he was a kid he loved Kurt Vonnegut,
and Forrest Gump is full of Vonnegut's
cynical existentialism. That’s his sense of
humor. I mean, come on, a movie that
sees all the important events of an era
through the eyes of a guy with an IQ of
752 That's а cynical thing to say, it's fun-
ny and outrageous.”

Talking with Zemeckis himself, I look
for manifestations of this social irrev-
erence, this cynical existentialism, but
they're hard to find. Like many direc-
tors, he speaks freely about feelings—
“One of my first reactions when I read
the screenplay was that it was very emo-
tional and compelling”—and about such
familiar ingredients as suspense: “At first
I was mystified by how compelling the
story was, because it had none of the
conyentions of a dramatic screenplay. I
learned in the course of breaking it
down that the true suspense comes from
Jenny and Forrest—that's the dramatic
glue that holds the movie together.”

When we start to discuss the essence of
the story, however, and the larger mean-
ing of Forrest Gump's IQ, Zemeckis
confines himself to the nuts and bolts of
narrative technique. “1 always assumed
that Forrest’s intellect being below aver-
age was a device that enabled me to take
this journey, because it freed me up. I
don't have to worry what Forrest's agen-
da is since he's an innocent. He's like a

six-year-old. Who wants to see a story
about a normal guy going through the
Sixties and Seventies? You knew what he
was going to say was the truth, and that
allowed you to make these comments on
historical events that I thought were
ironic and dark and poignant.”

I repeat the widely held concern that
Gump flattened history by appropriating
images of solemn events for the saga of a
dim bulb. Zemeckis is courteous enough,
calling it “an appropriate question,” and
insists, in his pragmatic way, that the
question hasn’t bothered him.

“I did it all as a joke. You know, none
of it was presented as reality. As a matter
of fact, that Lyndon Johnson sequence
was built from seven different pieces of
LB] news film, so it’s not even one sin-
gle piece of history. What fascinates me
about Forrest Gump is that it’s the first
time that the entire world shares these
images of history. Because everything is
recorded! Everybody knows what that
shot of Kennedy riding in that limo
means. Or, ГЇЇ use an image that isn’t in
Gump: Everybody knows what that space
shuttle looked like when it blew up. I'm
talking about everybody in the world!
Everybody knows what that white Ford
Bronco on the freeway looked like.
Everybody knows what Rodney Kings
beating looked like. We share pop cul-
ture and historical images. That's some-
thing I love, and it allowed, certainly,
one generation of people who saw the.
movie to have a lot of fun with it."

At first I wonder how literally to take
this—did he really do the historical stuff
asa joke and nothing more?—but then I
realize that Zemeckis is telling me some-
thing else about himself and his genera-
tion, the post-Watergate cohort who be-
came Forrest Gump’s core audience. For
him, and for them, historical images are
inseparable from the collective pop cul-
ture. For him, and them, you can't really
flatten historical events by folding them
into an entertainment, because history—

«еб, YeS, MR. WilLits!

үүт I$ iT 42

pictorial history, the tale told and end-
lessly retold by T V—already seems flat,
with not much moral dimension

Like his core audience, with whom he
has deep and instinctive connections
(another way to describe a Midas touch),
Bob Zemeckis grew up bathed in cath-
ode rays, bombarded by moving pic-
tures, steeped in sitcoms, bemused by
corruption and disinclined, or unable, to
find the solemnity that an earlier, picto-
rially deprived generation found in such
pre-Gump images as, say, the Stars and
Stripes being raised on Iwo Jima.

What his contemporaries see as cyni-
cism would have been an earlier genera-
tion's whimsy. He's not a social critic but
a cheerful ironist, which is all to the good
for commerce, because social criticism,
like satire, is what closes on Saturday
night. The tone he brings to a movie—
and setting a tone may be the most im-
portant thing a director does—is pre-
dominantly light. But it's also marked by
moments of darkness, irreverence and
sweetness. This is not to say he's indis-
criminate, only supremely pragmatic.
Whatever works works, from the broad-
est caricatures of Used Cars to the most.
emotional passages of Forrest Gump.

"When Bob was a kid," Tom Hanks
tells me, “һе watched everything that
was going on with the idea of, Isn't this a
kick in the head? Just recognizing that
what's going on is volatile and wild, nei-
ther good nor bad. ‘Isn't that something?
Isn't that wild?’ There was stuff on our
movie that never failed to slay Bob, and
oftentimes it was the most obvious, like
the look of the bar scene with Forrest
and Lieutenant Dan on New Year's Eve.
I was at the bar, which was very high,
and Lieutenant Dan was in his very low
wheelchair. Well, as they were setting up
the shot Bob was back by the monitor,
and he was just dying with laughter at
'One guy's up high,

High and low explain a lot, so long as
they're not equated with good and bad.
Zemeckis treats lofty aesthetic or histor-
ical considerations as no more worthy,
or unworthy, than the slapstick humor
he grew up on. In the body of his work
it's all a swirl: The Three Stooges meet
Abbott and Costello, Alfred Hitchcock,
JEK, Walt Disney, Jerry Lewis, Godzil-
la, The Great Chase, the Barrow Gang,
Richard Nixon, Howard Hawks, Kurt
Vonnegut, William Castle, Preston
Sturges, Vincent Price and the first film
he ever saw, The Blob.

“Bob's main love,” says Steven Spiel-
berg, “is to tell a really great, kicky story,
with more twists and turns than the
audience can ever imagine. When the
lights go down I defy anyone to guess
where he’s going. His strategy as a story-
teller is to be unfathomable. You can
never outguess Bob Zemeckis.

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(continued from page 100)
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“Psst . . . fucking don't count. Pass it on."

screw the young

(continued from page 105)
organization called Americans for Gen-
erational Equity. I tracked down its for-
mer director, Paul Hewitt, who now
heads the National Taxpayers Union
Foundation. Hewitt neatly put the
figures into perspective: “Basically,” he
said, “Social Security and Medicare have
become regressive programs. We tax
hamburger flippers to pay the greens
fees of retired doctors.” (Speaking of
Medicare: It's expected to run out of
money in 2002.)

Not surprisingly, the further I got into
this stuff, the louder the drumbeats of
generational war became—and they
weren't just pounding between my own
temples. They were mostly flying
through my phone lines in the form of
data bits and bytes.

Being a member of my generation car-
ries various responsibilities, computer
literacy among them. No baby buster is
complete without a modem and a con-
nection to the Infobahn. That's why I
was shocked to find the American Associ-
ation of Retired Persons with its own
nook on America Online.

AARP as all our elected servants know,
is the largest and most powerful political
lobby in Washington. It claims to repre-
sent the interests of more than 33 mil-
lion Americans past the age of 50—a
rather liberal definition of retired, Га
say. This number terrifies Congress. Af-
ter all, AARP members vote; my genera-
tion doesn’t. Take the 1990 elections
(please): 60.3 percent of eligible yoters
65 years or older cast ballots, compared
to 22 percent of those from 21 to 24.

And it’s not justa matter of stuffed bal-
lot boxes, there are all those stuffed bank
accounts, too. In his 1990 book, Age
Wave, Ken Dychtwald points out that
“Americans over 50 now have a com-
bined annual personal income of more
than $800 billion and control 70 percent
of the total net worth of U.S. house-
holds—nearly $7 trillion in wealth.”

As ifall that money and power weren't
enough, here they are invading my gen-
eration’s online preserve. Who are these
sneaky AARP people targeting, anyway?
Click on the AARP icon, and the first im-
age that flashes on the screen is a red,
white and blue logo and the slogan,
“Bringing lifetimes of experiences and
leadership to serve all generations.”

Explore a bit more, though, and it be-
comes clear that the younger genera-
tions aren't buying AARP's brand of ser-
vice. Subscribers can post notes to one
another in the AARP message center,
and there, inside a folder marked “20s,
30s & 40s Generation,” are the opening
volleys of an intergenerational skirmish.

One blast reads, in part: “Well, AARP,
you're big, you're powerful and now
you're here in what I think you'll find to
be quite a new experience. You see, in

cyberspace, age doesn't matter. So
speaking as a younger, поп-РАС affiliat-
ed, well-educated man, one who doesn't
see any governmental pacts in his future,
1 welcome you to the future. Are you
sure you're ready to hear from it?”

The floodgates thus breached, a few
impressively informed boomers and
Xers then laid out the antigranny case:
At our expense, current retirees are get-
ting several times what they paid into So
cial Security. At the same time, student
grant and loan programs are being cut.
Young people are subsidizing health
care for the elderly, the job market is in
the tank and who knows how many of us
will ever be able to afford to buy a house.
Meanwhile, those generous payments to
old-timers are helping to fuel the nation-
al debt ($5 trillion and counting), which
will come out of our hides, one way or
another. And the fear-mongering,
vote-mongering, behemoth AARP is
the evil agent of this inequity. “Young
people beware,” one correspondent
warned his peers. “This organization
wants Congress to tax the hell out of
you. Don't be fooled! It has only one
agenda, and that's to rob from the young
and give to the old.”

To their credit, the oldsters weren't
taking this back talk without issuing a
few knuckle raps themselves. As one
AARP member responded, “The ground
you walk on and the air you breathe is
because we old guys fought and died in
wars to keep you in the freedom and $$$
that let you learn how to use that com-
puter. You owe us. Be thankful that you
can repay us for giving you life.”

Another old-timer wrote, “I will be
means-tested when you pick up my
share of taxes for your kids’ school. Г
don't have any kids in school. Why
should I pay for you, sonny?” The re-
sponse: "Your argument is so Worn out it
annoys me. Simply put, you give me
back the 15.3 percent of my income that
your Social Security costs me and you
can quit paying taxes for schools. I'd
come out way ahead. Our schools are
very cheap compared with Social Securi-
ty welfare programs.”

Next, fora couple of days I trolled the
alt.society.generation-x newsgroup, wait-
ing for some generational enmity to
sprout unbidden, and, sure enough, it
did. The spark this time was a school-tax
vote in Illinois, where a cadre of blue-
hairs was apparently rallying to kill the
tax and send local tykes off to under-
funded schools. “Е

Excuse me?!” reads the
first post. "They're getting Social Securi-
ty money from our blood and they won't
even stomach a modest increase for edu-
cation?" This note spawned two dozen
like-minded responses.

Note the tenor of these posts. Genera-
tion X is not angry just about the likeli-
hood that Social Security won't exist
when we retire. That, after all, is a fore-
gone conclusion. We're pissed that we're

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152

cutting into muscle and bone to make
these absurd payments, which often go
directly to people who can hardly claim
to need them, and oh, by the way, the
well runs dry in 2029. What galls us is
the 15.3 percent of every paycheck that's
poured into an unfair, unhealthy system.
(Half of that tax comes from the employ-
er, but economists agree that the money
ultimately comes out of our wages.)

Of course, Social Security is hardly the
only instrument of this reverse-Robin
Hood act. Take health care. From the be-
ginning of last year's doomed reform
campaign, lobbies for the elderly played
coy with their ardent suitors in the
White House. Finally, these politicians
watered down their universal coverage
proposals and offered some plums for
their older constituents, already the

=
)

best-insured age group in America. So
much for cost containment.

Actually, it’s a wonder the AARP and
its ilk didn't rush to support Clinton's
plan from the beginning. After all, its
provision for flat community rating—in
which the healthy young lay out for the
sickly old—not only would have made it
possible, as intended, for those with pre-
existing conditions to get coverage, but
also probably would have substantially
lowered premiums for everyone over
55—all at the expense of the young.

On April Fools’ Day in 1993, a com-
ity-rating law went into effect in
New York State. Soon the premiums
paid by some young people nearly
tripled, while their parents’ rates tended
to fall. “1 have an uncle who's 63 years
old and overweight who smokes and has

УИ

“Don’t just stand there, whoever you are. Call a doctor!
Tve got amnesia.”

had heart surgery. His health insurance
premiums were cut in half,” says Rich-
ard Thau, executive director of Third
Millennium, a Gen X advocacy group. “I
didn't speak to my cousins about it, but
my guess is that their insurance went
through the roof to subsidize him.”

The young are also taking a beating in
student loans. “When you say you're not
going to touch entitlements, Social Secu-
rity, veterans’ benefits or defense, there
are few areas left where you can save
money and still try to balance the bud-
get,” says Bill Cotter, the president of
Colby College in Waterville, Maine. “So
education gets cut.”

In 1950, 46 percent of all college costs
were paid by the federal government.
Today it's about 11 percent. The differ-
ence has been made up by the family—
primarily the student—in the form of
loans. Today's college freshmen will
graduate with an average loan burden of
$14,000 apiece, never mind what they
might accrue if they foolishly decide to
go to grad school. Meanwhile, Newt
Gingrich’s Contract With America
would kill the in-college interest subsidy
on those loans—the interest accrued
while a student is in school would be
added to the loan at graduation. The ау-
erage undergrad would see his or her
burden jump by almost $3000, while a
six-year doctoral student could see
$33,000 tacked on to an already over-
whelming $68,000 debt.

“Students will be coming out with
such huge loan burdens that they won't
be able to buy а car or a house, and they
won't have the option of taking low-in-
come social service jobs,” Cotter says.
“We're skewing the social pressures оп
these students. And at the same time, be-
cause we cannot restrain our consump-
tion on Social Security and such things,
we're also telling them, ‘Pay for your
own college—and by the way, would you
mind supporting me and the national
debt that I ran up while you were in col-
lege? It's a terrible intergenerational
burden shift.”

The difficulty here is that when you
search for a villain, you wind up staring
at granny and pops. 1 don't look forward
to the seething silences around the
Thanksgiving dinner table after I've
burst my cork and accused my grand-
parents of selling my shot at the
‘American dream to pay for another gam-
bling binge on some phony riverboat.

Besides, my grandparents don't gam-
Ыс. And while they're not eating cans of
cat chow in a barren apartment, or shiv-
ering under a moth-eaten blanket in the
street, I don't get the sense that they're
living it up on my hard-earned Social Se-
curity contributions, either. But who else
am I going to vent my anger on?

A look at how Social Security managed
to find itself in such a sorry state gives a
good indication of the forces at work
here. Back in 1935, when the program

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was enacted, part of the idea was to get
lingering old-timers off the employment
rolls, thus opening slots for the out-of-
work young adults littering the streets.
Under the circumstances, there wasn't
the lag time necessary to have the system
operate like a private pension, in which
everybody gradually pays in, and the
money is invested and grows before any-
body gets a chance to take anything out.
(Besides, with Uncle Sam using our
money to buy huge chunks of GM and
IBM, we'd soon have to be called the
United Socialist States of America.) So-
cial Security became what actuaries call a
pay-as-you-go system and what police
call a Ponzi scheme.

The idea of a Ponzi (or pyramid)
scheme is that the original investors’
profits will be paid with money coming
in from new investors. Nothing is invest-
ed outside the pyramid; the money sim-
ply changes hands. This is exactly the
way Social Security works: My money
goes directly into some retired golfer's
pocket, with about one percent going for
administrative overhead. The only way
to keep such a system afloat is to recruit
more and more suckers at the lower lev-
els, which is just what those World War
Two Gls did when they began procreat-
ing the baby boom generation.

As those of us who have grown up in
its shadow are by now painfully aware,
the boomer generation is just too big.
If you diagrammed the great national
Ponzi scheme, it would look more like a
barrel than the more optimal pyramid.
By the time the boomers start retiring, in
about 2011, it will have morphed into a
mushroom. Add to that the effects of life-
prolonging medical technology and you
can appreciate how top-heavy the system
is becoming. When Social Security was
enacted, there were more than 40 work-
ers chipping in for every retiree. Today
there are three. By 2030 there will be
two (hence the empty coffers in 2029).

Under the right circumstances, a
Ponzi scheme of the sort the government
runs could have continued to fund itself
even with stagnant population growth.
All that would be necessary would be for
our economy to continue to grow at a
fevered pace (it hasn't), and for politi-
cians to restrain their vote-grubbing
pandering (they haven't).

The big blow came in 1972, when
politicians began to fight over who could
give the GI generation the bigger pres-
ent. Wilbur Mills, the then chairman of
the House Ways and Means Committee,
decided to run for the Democratic presi-
dential nomination and began to suck
up to the elderly by proposing a 20 per-
cent across-the-board hike in Social Se-
curity benefits. Not to be outdone, Presi-
dent Nixon engaged Mills in a bidding
war. The resulting legislation bestowed
the 20 percent increase plus 100 percent
cost-of-living adjustments, indexed an-
nually. (And, as it turned out, indexed

generously: Social Security increases
soon galloped well past the inflation
rate, and if you'll remember, in the Sev-
enties, inflation was inflation.)

Then the oil shocks hit, the economy
slowed to a crawl, and it became clear
how precipitate these decisions had
been. But it still took the heel-draggers
in Congress ten years to rein in the
COLAs. The intervening years were
good ones for new Social Security recip-
ients. The most extreme example: The
fortunate 1981 retiree, leaving the work-
force at the height of the benefit run-up,
had by 1992 received all the money he
had paid into the program and every-
thing his boss had paid in for him, plus
the interest he would have received on
those contributions if he'd invested them
elsewhere. He'd also received all of the
income taxes he had ever paid—plus in-
terest on them. And he still, actuarially,
had three more years to live (and his
wife had five more after that),

“There are cohorts of Americans now
who will haye contributed nothing to the
cost of running the government in their
entire lives,” NTU's Paul Hewitt says.
"It's а sad commentary on the current
generation's legacy.”

By 1984, Social Security was at the
point of being unable to send out its next
batch of checks when a bipartisan com-
mittee, its back to the wall, figured a way
to keep the system solvent. For a while.
Predictably, not one young voice was
asked to testify before that congressional
committee. Current beneficiaries con-
tributed by taking a paltry six-month de-
lay in cost-of-living adjustments, The
bulk of the burden was to be borne by
the young. As Hewitt acknowledges,
“Politicians compromised by raising tax-
єз and cutting benefits, and they raised
your taxes and cut your benefits and you
were compromised.”

Of course, it soon became apparent
that the grand compromise hadn't ex-
actly left the system in long-term bal-
ance, so last year it was Senator Bob
Kerrey's turn to mount the white hobby-
horse of reform. The Nebraska Demo-
crat strong-armed President Clinton into
forming the Bipartisan Commission on
Entitlement and Tax Reform, whose
findings ruined my breakfast last fall.
When Kerrey and vice-chair John Dan-
forth, the Republican senator from Mis-
souri, unveiled their proposals for
change, it turned out to be the same old
story: Most of their bold suggestions—
raising the retirement age to 70, slowing
the growth of benefits for midwage and
upper-wage workers—weren't sched-
uled to take place until at least the year
2000, and even then they would be
phased in slowly. There would be almost
no sacrifice by anyone older than 55.

After that plan went down in flames,
despite this sop to the gray voting bloc
and its congressional protectors, I talked
with Phil Longman, a former Americans

for Generational Equity staffer, who in
1987 wrote the generational politics
book Born to Pay. He was still disappoint-
ed about the Kerrey proposal. “It's
ridiculous,” he said. “We're not going to
get anywhere unless we make changes
now. Why in the world would you say to
a population that's affluent—we’re talk-
ing about people who make more than
$100,000 a year without working—
"You're exempt from any kind of
sacrifice’? I don't get the logic.”

Still, groups such as AARP continue to
nurture among senior citizens a sense of
outraged entitlement. Last fall, Third
Millennium's Richard Thau flew to San
Francisco to testify before a government
panel that was considering whether to
boost the benefits for so-called notch ba-
bies, a group of retirees who had the bad
fortune to be born a bit too late to enjoy
the full fruits of the Social Security
benefit run-up of the Seventies. Instead
of getting outrageously generous
monthly checks, they merely get exceed-
ingly generous monthly checks. And boy,
are they steamed.

“Being at that conference was like
watching Cocoon while on acid,” Thau
says. “Imagine a long, narrow hotel
room full of chairs, with seniors lined up
an hour before the conference started
just to get а good seat. It was 150 senior
Citizens absolutely bonkers about every-
thing I said. At one point a guy stood up
in the middle of a speech and shouted, ‘I
don't care about the future! I just want
my money!" The panel, in an extraordi-
nary burst of reason, declined to give it
to him.

Fat chance, though, that such reason
will prevail on the bigger issues. As we
saw when Newt Gingrich swept i
power and immediately declared Soci
Security sacrosanct, neither party can re-
sist the seductions of the AARP vote.

Eventually, though, something has to
give, Ifnothing is done soon, it's likely to
be the national psyche. You think the
taxpayers resent layabouts on the dole
today? Wait until 2010, when the drain
on national resources really kicks into
gear and it becomes clear who's really
getting government money, how much
of it there is, and how powerless we the
people are to do anything about it. “A
democracy starts to unravel when it's
in denial,” says Jon Cowan, a leader of
the baby-bust advocacy group Lead or
Leave. “Тһе glue that holds it together is
that we tell the truth about our problems
and face them squarely. Politicians are in
denial. Young people aren't.” Empires
have fallen because of far smaller inter-
nal contradictions.

And next year, the slide toward the
abyss is likely to just get steeper. In 1996
the first baby boomers turn 50. That's
when they become eligible for member-
ship in AARP.

HOW TO BUY

Below is a list of retailers and
manufacturers you can contact
for information on where to
find this month's merchandise.
To purchase the apparel and
equipment that is shown on
pages 20, 22-23, 24, 62-66,
74-75, 80-81 and 157, check
the listings to find the stores
nearest you.

STYLE

Page 20: “Swell Dopp Kits":
By Buxton, at Macy's and
Innovation Luggage stores. By Donna
Karan, at select Bloomingdale' stores. By
Nazareno Gabrielli, at Holt Renfrew, na-
tionwide in Canada, Bob Rose, 722 Travis
St, Houston, 713-222-7673, and Frank
Stella, 1388 Sixth Ave, NYC, 212-757-
2295, By Nautica, at Nautica, 216 Colum-
bus Ave., NYC, 212-496-0933. By Eddie
Bauer, at Eddie Bauer stores. By Ghurka.
800-243-4368. “The Boxer Rebellion”;
Knit boxers: By Tommy Hilfiger, at major
department stores. By Emporio Armani, at
Emporio Armani stores, By Guess, at
Bloomingdale's, Lord & Taylor and Day-
ton Hudson stores. By Ferry Ellis, at major
department stores. From Polo by Ralph
Lauren, at Macy's West, Bloomingdale's
and Dayton Hudson stores. By Joe Boxer,
at Bloomingdale's, Lord & Taylor and
Dayton Hudson stores. “Hot Shopping:
Carmel, СА": On the Beach, 408-624-7282.
Pacific Canvas & Cargo, 408-626-3456.
Wings America, 408-62 ING. Khakis, 408-
625-8106. “Clothes Line”: Sweatpants by
Nike, 503-671-3939. Shoes by Doc Marten,
800-866-9815. Trousers by Zanella, at fine
department stores. T-shirts by Calvin
Klein, at Calvin Klein stores. "Scent of a
Man’: Deodorants and antiperspirants:
By Donna Karan, Giorgio Beverly Hills,
Chanel, Guy Laroche, Calvin Klein and Joop,
at fine department stores. By Brut, at mass
merchandisers.

WIRED

Pages 22-23: “All's Fair": Online service by
Landinark Entertainment Group and Worlds,
dnc., Web Site: http://www.worldsinc.com.
“Interactive TV Gets Real”: Home infor-
mation system by AT&T, 800-233-2650.
“Jocks in a Box": Kiosk by Life Fitness,
800-735-3867. " ‘Things’: Phones:
By Polycom, 800-765-9266. By Cincinnati
Microwave, 800-433-3487. "Multimedia
Reviews & News”: Software: By Accolade,
800-245-7744. By Interplay Produc-
tions, 800-969-4263. Books: By Random
House, 800-733-3000. By Osborne/McGraw-
Hill, 800-227-0900. By IDG Books, 800-
762-2974.

TRAVEL

Page 24: “Book It Your-
self”: OAG Flight Disk
from HLB Communications,
800-342-5624. Online reser-
vation services: From Eaasy
Sabre, 800-972-3330. From
Worldspan Travelshopper,
800-892-1011. "Great Es-
саре”: Post Ranch Inn, 800-
527-2200. “On the Go”: Ra-
dio by Grundig, from
Lextronix, Inc., 800-872-
2228. Locker by Serurj, B00-
828-1438. Camera by Minolta, 201-825-4000.

KEEP ON TREKKIN*

Pages 62-66: For a one-year, $16.95 mem-
bership to The Official Star Tiek Fan Club,
subscription to the full-color Official Star
Trek magazine and a merchandise catalog,
call 800-TRUE-FAN.

SOLE SURVIVORS
Pages 74-75: Bottom row: By Kenneth
Cole, 800-KEN-COLE. By Polo Ralph Lauren
Footwear. By Maraolo, 212-869-0499. From
Cole-Haans Bragano Collection, at Cole-
Haan and fine department stores. Middle
row: By Salvatore Ferragamo, at Salvatore
Ferragamo boutiques. From 70 Boot by
Adam Derrick, at Bergdorf Goodman, 745
Fifth Ave., NYC, 212-339-3335. By Fratelli
Rossetti, at Fratelli Rossetti, 601 Madison
Ауе, NYC, 212-888-5107. By JM. Weston,
42 E. 57th St., NYC, 212-308-5655. By
Bruno Magli, 212-977-7676. Top row:
From To Boot by Adam Derrick, at Bergdorf
Goodman, NYC. By Bruno Magli, 212-
977-7676. By Donna Karan, at Scott Hill, 100
$. Robertson Blvd., Los Angeles, 310-777-
1190. From CO2 by Comedia, 212-957-9166.

DIVER'S WATCHES
Pages 80-81: By Promaster, at Square Jew-
elers & Opticians, 2731 N. Milwaukee
Ave., Chicago, 312-252-7373. By Porsche,
Seiko and Ebel, at Smart Jewelers, 3350 W.
Devon Ave., Chicago, 800-422-6999. By
Nautica, at Bloomingdale's, 900 N. Mic
gan Ave.. Chicago. 312-440-4515. By
Rolex, Baume & Mercier, Breitling and TAG-
Heuer, at Henry Kay Jewelers, 835 N.
Michigan Ave., 312-266-7600. By Chrono-
sport, 800-222-9057.

ON THE SCENE
Page 157: Game controllers: By CH Prod-
ucts, 619-598-2518. By Advanced Gravis
Computer Technology Lid., 800-653-8558. By
Thrustmaster, Inc., 503-639-3200. By Al
Tech, 800-882-8184.

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155

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nyone who has tried to race cars, fly jets or kill Doom
demons on his or her computer knows the keyboard
doesn't cut it as а game controller. For realistic simula-
tions, you need a joystick or one of the other PC control
devices pictured below. Aside from making it easier to maneuver
through 3-D worlds, these controllers feature multiple triggers for

rapid-fire action. Many are programmable, allowing you to assign
game commands to buttons, and some, such as Thrustmaster's
F-16 FLCS or CH Products’ Virtual Pilot Pro (both shown below),
are designed in the image of authentic combat-jet sticks or flight
yokes. Diehards can even put the pedal to the metal with accel-
eration and brake-pad peripherals. Sorry, no radar detectors yet.

Clockwise from top left: CH
Products’ Virtual Pilot Pro, an
airplane yoke with six fire but-
tons, a pair of four-way switch-
es, trim controls and a throttle,
about $130. The Firebird Flight
and Weapons Control System
by Advanced Gravis has an
eight-button jet-style handle, an-
alog throttle, elevator trim con-
trol and 17 programmable but-
tons, about $70. Thrustmaster's
programmable F-16 FLCS joy-
stick has four four-way switch-
es, a dual-stage trigger and four
buttons, about $200. Al Tech
cut the cords on its Wireless
Bandit controller, allowing you
to command arcade-style game
action via infrared technology
up to 40 feet from your PC
monitor, about $60 for a pair.

JANES INBROGNO

Where & How to Buy on page 155.

Trisha’s Undercover
TRISHA MARES’ TV credits include Beverly Hills
90210, Melrose Place and Blossom. She has ap-
peared in the movie LA. Story and in commercials,
magazines and fashion and trade shows. There's
more to Trisha than meets the eye.

The Devil
Made Him Do It

After 64 years in show business, JERRY LEWIS finally opened on
Broadway. Playing the devil in Damn Yankees with a tempting Lola,
CHARLOTTE D’AMBOISE, Lewis gets his critical due. What do
jon Frenchmen know? Lewis can hit a home run and does.

Country Delight
‘Singer RONNA REEVES’ new
LP Affer the Dance just
came out. She has co-
hosted the Statler
Brothers show on ca-
ble and is now

touring through
September.
Ronna rules,

Giant Killers

California fans of indie gods THE OFFSPRING knew them and loved them be-
fore Smash became a smash. What's next? Lead guitar honcho Noodles says,
“Maybe we'll write the first punk rock opera.” Does Pete Townshend know?

Praise Lords

Astint on Melrose
Place, a job at
Roseanne's diner
and a new album,
1000 Fires, have
helped TRACI
LORDS kiss off
her old life. Wel-
come to her
second comi

an Kill Myself) in
a Jim Carrey mov-
ie. It got PETE
DROGE on Letter-
man and a tour

= my” Tom Petty.

Russian Fox
Actress and dancer MARINA KVARTALOVA made
movies in Russia before she got a part in Bram
Stoker’s Burial of the Rats. Look for comic
books based on the film to sı
Marina got

POTPOURRI
BES

FAST FROM THE PAST

Denise McCluggage is an automotive
icon. The friend of famous racers, an ас-
complished driver and the only woman
to win the Ken Purdy Award for Excel-
lence in Automotive Journalism, McClug-
gage has had motor oil in her veins for
40 years. Now her best columns from
Auto Week are collected in By Brooks Too
Broad for Leaping, available for $20 from
Fulcorte Press, Tower Suite 400, 535 Cor-
dova Road, Sante Fe, New Mexico 87501

ROMANCE IS IN THE AIR

“Woven from the threads of fantasy” is how Yungjohann Hillman Inc.
in Grand Prairie, Texas describes its line of tropical bed drapes. While
some of the company’s creations keep out mosquitoes and other flying
critters, the Mombasa Caravan canopy pictured here is purely decora-
tive. Seven seductive colors are available white, sand, ivory, mauve,
peach, pale blue and black—and the Caravan's $135 price is cheaper
than airfare to Kenya. Call 800-641-2345 to order and for information
about other hanging products that are equally romantic.

SWEAT EQUITY

What could be simpler? A company
named Marvelous Creations Inc. has
combined an absorbent headband with
removable headphones that you connect
to your personal CD or cassette player. As
you jog, work out or whatever, you can
hear your favorite sounds without the
hassle of your headphones falling off.
One headband and a sct of speakers cost
$12.75. Three bands and the speakers
are $25. Call 800-898-1248 to order.

IN PURSUIT OF PLEASURE

Colonial Africa, big game photography and the giraffe's height are
just some of the subjects covered in The Pleasures of Safari Adventure, a
56-page book published by Pavilion in England as part of its Pleasures of
series, The three other titles available are also pictured here. Romantic
Travel features illustrated excerpts from classic travel writings and
fiction by W. Somerset Maugham, Rudyard Kipling, William Make-
peace Thackeray and others. Boating and Sailing addresses “the timeless
pleasures to be gained from being on water, with the sun and wind in
your face.” And Discovering Europe is all about going Continental. The
160 books cost $15.95 each from Trafalgar Square at 800-423-4525.

GOOD OLD GUY STUFF

Pour yourself a shot of rye
and lather up the double-
edge. Chronicle Books’ A Stiff
Drink and a Close Shave, by
Bob Sloan and Steven Guar-
naccia, recaptures “the lost
arts of manliness” as celebrat-
ed in the Thirties, Forties and
Fifties. Barware, shaving
brushes, tie tacks, poker
chips, smoking paraphemalia
and much more are repre-
sented in more than 150 col.
or illustrations. Early men's
magazines are included, and
PLAYBOY is present. Price:
$12.95. Call 800-722-6657.

ERIC WITH STRINGS

Any new Martin guitar is
noteworthy, but when Eric
Clapton teams up with the
company to create a limited-
edition signature model—
now that's strumming. Ac-
cording to Martin, the
000-42ЕС combines the qual-
ities of the two vintage Mar-
tin 000 small-bodied acoustic
guitars that Clapton plays on-
stage and in the studio. Rose-
wood, spruce, ebony and ma-
hogany are used in the
instrument's construction.
Part of the $8100 price will
be donated to children
charities. Call 800-633-2060.

FLIPPING FOR
PACHINKO

Think of pachinko as the
‘Japanese version of a pinball
machine that's been stood on
end. Turn a knob, and as the
steel balls you've fired thread
their way through a maze of
wheels and pins, lights flash
and there are sound effects
galore. Now Grand View
Products in Grand View-on-
Hudson, New York is selling
reconditioned machines that
are right off the Ginza.
Themes include slots (shown),
horse racing and sumo
wrestling, among others.
Price: $350, including 400
balls, an instructional video
and a lifetime warranty. Call
B00-4-rACHINKO to order.

LICK AND A TRICK

No, Heidi Fleiss isn't the president of Magic in
Your Mailbox, the country's only "trick of the
month club." But if you want to entertain your
friends or break the ice at parties or singles
bars with some amazing bits of prestidigitation,
then call 800-780-масіс for details. Professional
ician Danny Orleans chooses each month's
and they are all surprisingly sophisticat-

ed. The $75 annual fee includes a newsletter
and detailed trick instructions.

NICE DICE

Just when you think you've seen everything;
along comes a French company named Savoir
Vivre that's marketing the pair of erotic metal
dice pictured here. We'll leave the kind of
games you play with them to your imagination.
But be warned—rolling a three and a four in
some rural Southern towns and doing whats
shown on the dice just might land you in the
slammer. Price: $55. To order, call William
Lipton Ltd. at 212-751-8131.

МЕХТ МОМТН

KIMBERLEY FOOTBALL

SPECIAL FALL PREVIEW ISSUE—AN INFORMED SNEAK SANDRA BULLOCK—HOLLYWOOD'S FAVORITE SPRITE
PEEK AT THE NEW SEASON. LOOK FOR SURPRISE CARS TELLS US ABOUT HER CRAVINGS FOR CHOCOLATE AND
FROM MERCEDES AND BMW, THE LATEST ENTERTAIN- WHY SHE LIKES ALOOFAH. OH, SHE ALSO INSTALLED HER
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KILLER FRAGRANCES AND FIVE FABULOUS WARDROBES,

DRINKS AND DISCS, OUR UNCANNY NFL FORECASTANDA MULTIMEDIA GULCH—GROUND ZERO FOR THE LATEST

GUIDE TO CLUBS, RESTAURANTS AND NIGHTLIFE. DON'T TECHNOWIZARDS IS SOUTH OF MARKET STREET, SAN
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KIMBERLEY CONRAD HEFNER—A LOT HAS CHANGED TONS, DODGE CREDITORS AND SELL THEIR DISCS TO
SINCE WE FIRST GLIMPSED THE INCREDIBLE MRS. HEF- SONY—ARTICLE EY LARRY GALLAGHER

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AERE TUER TER ITAL РЫ ШЕЕ SS BEEN AROUND THE BLOCK AND YOU THINK IT GETS EASI-
KOPPEL ON ТОР -LOOK OUT LENO AND LETTERMAN. ER. NOT ON YOURLIFE. FICTION BY JOSEPH MONNINGER
TED KOPPEL IS A SURPRISING CONTENDER IN THE LATE-
NIGHT WARS. THE REASON? THE WORSE THE NEWS
GETS, THE MORE МЕ ALL TUNE IN TO TED ON NIGHTLINE.
ARTICLE BY HARRY JAFFE

EVEN MORE BARRYMORE FOLLOWING UP OUR DAR-
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DREW'S MOM—WHO'S JUST AS HOT AS HER DAUGHTER

CINDY CRAWFORD, THE MOST SUPER OF THE SUPER- THE S6 BILLION ROGUE- GENERAL MOTORS GAVE CAR
MODELS, TALKS ABOUT MAKING MILLIONS AND THE UGLY SALESMAN JOHN MCNAMARA BIG LOANS FOR VEHICLES
SIDE СЕ BEING BEAUTIFUL, THEN CONFRONTS THOSE THAT NEVER EXISTED. THAT WAS NOTHING COMPARED
PESKY RUMORS ABOUT RICHARD GERE IN A CANDID IN- WITH THE SWEET DEAL HE GOT FROM THE FEDERAL GOV-
TERVIEW BY DAVID RENSIN ERNMENT. ARTICLE BY DAVID HEILBRONER

SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Cigarette
Smoke Contains Carbon Monoxide.

Cirrus Ом А New WAVELENGTH

^ AS
Ta 6. perd
ae ë ver me 3
TONIC. JUICE. ROCKS. RIGHT. Now.

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