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Clint 
Eastwood 


Michael 
Jordan 


Arthur 
C. Clarke 


Faye 
Resnick 


Vincent 
Bugliosi 


Don King 


Best Sex 


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PLAYBILL 


AMONG THE PLAYERS in the O.J. Simpson murder trial, Faye 
Resnick stands out as a particularly beguiling figure. She was 
Nicole Simpson's best friend and an eyewitness to her dra- 
matic and tragic relationship with Simpson. She is also a beau- 
tiful woman who celebrates her personal strength and wom- 
anhood for Contributing Photographer Stephen Woyda. In Faye 
Takes the Stand, Resnick sits down for a long, frank talk with 
former Los Angeles prosecutor Vincent Bugliosi. Read it and 
you'll never think the same about California justice. (The il- 
lustration of the interview is by Anita Kunz.) 

The world cheered when Mike Tyson was beaten roundly 
by Evander Holyfield. However, the real winner was the 
shameless promoter Don King. King has had boxing (and bar- 
bers) on the ropes for years. Jack Newfield, columnist for The 
Меш York Post and writer of an Emmy-winning documentary 
on King, comes out swinging in the profile Vidture on the Ring 
Post. It has all the elements of a title bout —roundhouse ex- 
changes, bathroom language and body blows—only it's on 
the level. 

Clint and steel: “Do you feel Iucky? Well do you, punk?" 
With these words back in 1971, Clint Eastwood, a.k.a. Dirty Har- 
ry, made our day and his career—one of the longest-running 
Hollywood success stories ever. As a director, he lassoed an 
Oscar for Unforgiven and immortalized The Bridges of Madison 
County. Now he's starring in the thriller Absolute Power and di- 
recting the forthcoming Midnight in the Garden of Good and 
Evil. You might expect this craggy star to be taciturn, but 
in this month's Playboy Interview with Bernard Weinraub of The 
Neu York Times, Eastwood shoots from the lip regarding past 
loves, sexy Sondra Locke and Hollywood's schmoozing and 
boozing. 

What a long. spaced trip it's been. Arthur C. Clarke, the mono- 
lithic man ofletters, returns to our pages with an excerpt from 
the conclusion to his Homeric epic, 3001: The Final Odyssey 
(Del Rey). Astronaut Frank Foole, last seen as frost in space, is 
thawed and brought back to Ше a cool thousand years later, 
with mind-blowing results. (Donato Giancola did the astral art- 
work.) Ground control to Major Toon: In a recent commercial 
venture, Michael Jordan vanished down Bugs Bunny's rabbit. 
hole to mop up the extraterrestrial version of the New York 
Knicks in Space Jam. These days, Jordan is out to clear the air 
with cologne and a 20 Questions conducted by Contributing 
Editor Kevin Ceok. Jordan ists that Dennis Rodman's not a 
drag and that Bill Murray's Caddyshack cracks can throw off 
his golf game. 

What builds a relationship faster—endless predate negotia- 
tions or a vigorous bedroom romp? Gen X sex writer Sari Lock- 
er favors the latter and, in mouthwatering detail, outlines her 
treatise (and treats) in Why New Sex Is the Best Sex (illustrated by 
the fabulous Kenny Scharf). Locker, who hosts TV shows on the 
Lifetime channel, says: "People used to tell me they loved my 
TV show—now they tell me how much they loved my previ- 
ous piece in PLAYBOY (in May 1996).” Another of our favorite 
female writers, Susie Bright, contributes to this month's Forum 
with an sizzling excerpt from her book Susie Bright's Sexual 
Slate of the Union (Simon & Schuster). 

There's no job like that of ski reporter Charles Plueddeman— 
he gets paid to go downhill fast. In Playboy's Guide lo Spring Ski- 
ing, he waxes enthusiastic about the best places to drift to this 
season, whether it's for nude skiing at Crested Butte or riding 
a desk down Big Mountain. Then turn to Playmate Jennifer 
Miriam, a snow bunny who reminds us why we learned to ski in 
the first place. 


CLARKE 


LOCKER PLUEDDEMAN 


Playboy (ISSN 0032-1478), March 1997, volume 44, number 3. Published monthly by Playboy in national and regional edit 
Chicago, Illinois 60611. Periodicals postage paid at Chicago, Illinois and at additional mailing offices. 
Canada Post Canadian Publications Mail Sales Product Agreement No. 56162. 5ш i 


680 North Lake Shore Drive, 


in the U.S., $29.97 for 12 issues. Postmas- 


ter: Send address change to Playboy, PO. Box 2007, Harlan, Iowa 51537-4007. E-mail: edit@playboy.com. 


PLAYBOY 


vol. 44, no. 3—march 1997 CONTENTS FOR THE MEN'S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE 
PLAYBILL 3 
DEAR PLAYBOY. en б E 9 
PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS 3 к 13 
MOVIES BRUCE WILLIAMSON 16 
VIDEO 21 
MEDIA STEPHEN RANDALL — 24 
MUSIC : 26 
STYLE 28 
WIRED dere: ТТЕ E ^ 32 
TRAVEL 5 А 34 Faye Accompli 
BOOKS ... DIGBY DIEHL 36 
HEALTH & FITNESS ... nee 88 
MEN Bice ASA BABER 40 
WOMEN... ЕЕС CYNTHIA HEIMEL 42 
THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR... . 45 
THE PLAYBOY FORUM . WE 5 49 
PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: CLINT EASTWOOD—candid conversation . Love SER 59 
3001: THE FINAL ODYSSEY—fiction eO EE ARTHUR C. CLARKE — 66 
PLAYMATE REVISITED: SHARRY КОМОРЅКІ...._...................... eM UR 
WHY NEW SEX IS THE BEST SEX—article SARIIOCKFR — 76 
ALL DRESSED UP—fashion ER Я ..HOLLIS WAYNE во 
CHARGE IT—cors ............ TAS KEN GROSS ат 
PLAYBOY GALLERY: BRIGITTE BARDOT 8 9i 
MAID MIRIAM—ployboy's playmate of the month...................... 94 
PARTY JOKES—humor 106 
VULTURE ON THE RING POST—playboy profile................ JACK NEWFIELD 108 
PLAYBOY'S GUIDE TO SPRING SKING—article......... CHARLES PLUEDDEMAN 110 Мама 
GLAMOURCON—showcase. . text by KEVIN COOK 114 
SURF TV—electronics 5 сас dogs BETH TOMKIW 120 
20 QUESTIONS: MICHAEL JORDAN . 122 Ta 
FAYE—pictorial ee E 56, 126 : 
FAYE TAKES THE STAND—orticle. ................. ....... VINCENT BUGLIOSI 136 
WHERE & HOW TO BUY 162 
PLAYMATE NEWS .................. A A ITI 
PLAYBOY.ON THE SCENE LG ANN E CS 
COVER STORY 


Faye Resnick is the beautiful blonde on our cover, which was produced by West 
Coast Photo Editor Marilyn Grabowski, styled by Jennifer Tutor ond shat by 
Contributing Photographer Stephen Woyda. Thanks to Alexis Vogel for Faye’s 
makeup and to Daniel DiCriscio of José Eber Solon in Beverly Hills for styling 
Foye's hair. “Why doesn’t a leopard change its spots?” asks our nosy Rabbit. 


To BE CONTENDO no 3108 OE PECHA 28 OE JULO OE 1988, XPEOIDOS FON LA COMISION CALIHIAGORA OE PUBLICACIONES V REVISTA ILUS NADAS GLPENDIENTE OF A GECRETANA DE GOMER 5 


PRINTED IN U.S.A. 


Listen to Your 
Favorite Author 


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d ORIN THEWO 


à api, er 


ей 
SOS BON, MD HORE 


USO кши; ROALD DA, 
Y ойе BOLE, AND JANE SAY 
КТ 


Best of Playboy Fiction 


Collections of Short Stories from Playboy Magazine on Two Cassettes 


pon Featuring ul Michael Crichton, 

Frederick Forsyth, T. Coroghessan Boyle, Joseph 

Qum en е 2 | 5 

lune 2: Featuring st urt ut Jr, 
Tom Robbins, T. Caroghesson Boyle, Roo Roald Dahl 

hed Jone Smiley ce 3 

Mia Fer startes by Lose Sentry d HIE IS SHE 
John Irving, John. D Margaret. ГОТ MES PLAYE OY | Е 
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Playboy, Playboy Audio and Rabbi Haud Design aro marks of Playboy and used with permission. 


Ordern Mow 
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injoy a blast from the past with our sixth, 

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Use your credit card ond be sure to include your 
account number and expiration date. Or enclose a 
check or money order payable to Playboy. Mall to 
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PLAYBOY 


HUGH M. HEFNER 
editor-in-chief 


ARTHUR KRETCHMER editorial director 
JONATHAN BLACK managing editor 
TOM STAEBLER art director 
GARY COLE photography director 
KEVIN BUCKLEY executive editor 
JOHN REZEK assistant managing editor 


EDITORIAL 

ARTICLES: STEPHEN RANDALL editor; FICTION: 
ALICE К. TURNER editor; FORUM: JAMES к. PE 
TERSEN senior staff writer; crue ROWE assistant 
editor; MODERN LIVING: DAVID STEVENS edi- 
tor; BETH TOMKIW associate edilor; STAFF: BRUCE 
KLUGER senior editor; CHRISTOPHER NAPOLITANO, 
BARBARA NELLIS associate editors; FASHIO) 
HOLLIS WAYNE director; JENNIFER RYAN JONES 
assistant editor; CARTOONS: MICHELLE URRY 
editor; COPY: LEOPOLD FROEHLICH editor; ARLAN 
BUSHMAN, ANNE SHERMAN assistant editoi 
REMA SMITH senior researcher; LEE BRAUER. 
GEORGE HODAK, SARALYN WILSON researchers; 
MARK DURAN research librarian; CONTRI- 
BUTING EDITORS: ASA BABER, KEVIN COOK 
CHEN EDGREN, LAWRENCE GROBEL. KEN GROSS 
(automotive), CYNTHIA HEIMEL, WARREN KAL 
BACKER, D. KEITH MANO, JOE MORGENSTERN, REG 
POTTERTON, DAVID RENSIN, DAVID SHEFF, DAVID 
STANDISH, BRUCE WILLIANSON (movies) 


ART 
KERIG POPE managing director; BRUCE HANSEN. 
CHET SUSHI, LEN WILUS senior directors; KRISTIN 
KORJENER associate director; ANN SEIDL supervi- 
sor, keyline/pasteup: PAUL CHAN senior art assis- 
lant; JASON SIMONS arl assistant 


PHOTOGRAPH 
MARILYN GRABOWSKI west coast editor; JIM LAR 
SON, MICHAEL ANN SULLIVAN Senior editors; PATTY 
BEAUDET associate editor; STEPHANIE BARNETT, 
BETH MULLINS assistant editors; DAVID CHAN, 
RICHARD FEGLEY, ARNY FREYTAG, RICHARD 1201, 
DAVID MECEY, BYRON NEWNAN, POMPEO POSAR, 
STEPHEN wavDa contributing photographers; 
SHELLEE. WELLS stylist; TIM HAWKINS manager, 
photo services; ELIZABETH GEORGIOU photo ar- 
(Chivist; GERALD SENN correspondent—paris 


RICHARD KINSLER publisher 


PRODUCTION 
MARIA MANDIS director; RITA JOHNSON manager; 
KATHERINE CAMPION, JODY JURGETO, RICHARD 
QUARTAROLI. TOM SIMONEK associate managers 


CIRCULATION 
LARRY A. DJERF newsstand sales director; PHYLLIS 
ROTUNNO subscription circulation director; CINDY 
RAKOWITZ Communications director 


ADVERTISING 
ERNIE RENZULLI advertising director; JAMES DI- 
NONEXAS, пеш york manager; JEFF KIMMEL, sales 
development manager; JOE HOFFER midwest ad 
sales manager; IRV KORNBLAU marketing director; 
LISA NATALE research director 


READER SERVICE 
LINDA STROM, MIKE OSTROWSKI correspondents 


ADMINISTRATIVE 
EILEEN KENT new media direclor; MARCIA TER 
RONES Tights € permissions manager 


PLAYBOY ENTERPRISES, INC. 
CHRISTIE HEFNER chairman, chief executive officer 


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e. 


ALFRE WOODARD LAURENCE FISHBURNE 


A GOVERNMENT LIE. 
A WOMAN SWORN TO SILENCE. 
EVERYONE KNEW BUT THE PEOPLE WHO MATTERED MOST. 


MISS EVERS’ BOYS 


BASED ON A TRUE STORY 


AN HBO ORIGINAL MOVIE 


ВОЮ хис ncc 
ACTIN GIA BEANE ve MARSAL 
AS vel 


ШШЕ ИЕ EI 


©1997 Home Box Office, а division of Time Warner Entertainment Co... LP. Al rights reserved. HBO is a registered service mark ol Time Warner Entertainment Co, LP http://www.hbo.com 


DEAR PLAYBOY 


580 NORTH LAKE SHORE ORIVE 
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 60611 
FAX 312-649-9534 
E-MAIL DEARPB@PLAYBOYCOM 
PLEASE INCLUDE YOUR DAYTIME PHONE NUMBER 


THE BOLD AND THE BRAVE 
Mike Wallace (Playboy Interview, De- 
cember) libels Menachem Begin, one of 
the founders of the state of Israel. Un- 
like Yasir Arafat, Begin never attacked 
civilian targets or children. Even Wal- 
lace's biases can't change history. He 
should show respect for a man who was 
fearless 
Saul Baruch 
Encino, California 


Mike Wallace's admission that he has 
smoked marijuana made the news. Then 
California voters approved Proposition 
215, which legalized marijuana for med- 
ical purposes. Could it be that the state- 
ments of this former occasional pot 
smoker had something to do with get- 
ting Proposition 215 passed? If so, hur- 
rah for him. 

Brian Sorgatz 
Carmichael, California 


In the December Playboy Interview, Y 
was misquoted as saying that the CBS Re- 
‚ports for which we were sued by General 
William Westmoreland dealt with the 
subject of "body counts during the Viet- 
nam war" The 1989 broadcast, titled 
“The Uncounted Enemy: A Vietnam De- 
ception," was about live enemy troops 
and/or guerrillas. (The general eventual- 
ly withdrew his libel suit.) 

I was also misquoted as saying that 
William Quandt is an official at the 
Council on Foreign Affairs; what I said 
was that he worked at the Brookings 
Institution. 

And finally, the CBS series on which I 
appeared with my former wife Buff. 
Cobb is described as a comedy show. 
1 suppose it's in the eye (or ear) of the 
beholder, but what the two of us broad- 
cast back in 1951 and 1952 was an inter- 
view show. 


Mike Wallace 
New York, New York 
Sorry, Mike, we inserted Quand!'s status as 
a member of the Council on Foreign Relations 


instead of his far better known affiliation with 
Brookings. We also finished a sentence for you 
about the uncounted enemy, and got it wrong. 
Thanks for taking the time to finish it yourself. 


HISTORY OF SEX 
Even though we're entering the third 
millennium, society's attitude toward sex 
(Playboys History of the Sexual Revolution, 
Part I, December) remains Victorian. 
"The baby boomers have grown up to be 
their parents. 
G. Gideon Rojas 
Reno, Nevada 


HUNTING SEASON 
I can't believe PLAYBOY published an 

article that pokes fun at hunters 
(Hunters’ Harvest, December). We don't. 
kill tor bloodlust or to unite with "distant 
carnivore ancestors." And we don't turn 
to "domestic violence" if we come home 
empty-handed. I guess Joyce Carol 
Oates doesn’t realize that the licenses 
and tags we pay for cach year fund 
wildlife management areas and help 
preserve natural habitats for animals. 

Barry Payne 

Bowling Green, Kentucky 


Oates sure doesn't understand what it 
means to be an archer. Most archers live 
by an ethical code of conduct that this 
nation's leaders don't live up to. In 30 
years of hunting, I've killed fewer deer 
with a bow than my friends have crushed 
with their front bumpers. 

Craig Williams 
Hampstead, Maryland 


Oates’ piece isa testament to her great 
writing ability. It would be horrifying, 
though, to consider her satire anything 
but entertaining fiction. I'm an outdoors 
editor and an author, and one of the 
things I’ve learned from my research is 
that hunting is useful in keeping a 
species’ population healthy. Oates i: 
correct in her assertion that hunting is 
a sport of machismo. The number of 


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PLAYBOY 


female hunters is rising. Did she base 

this piece on her relationship with her 

pets and an occasional trip to the park? 
Cork Graham 
Belmont, California 


Shame on PLAYBOY for featuring Joyce 
Carol Oates’ whimpering rant against 
sportsmen and hunting. The only way to 
rectify your error is to publish a rebuttal 
by Ted Nugent, begin to include fine 
firearms in Where t? How to Buy and send 
a check to your state's department of 
natural resources. 

Steve Owens 

Fort Smith, Arkansas 


Oates' knowledge of biological evolu- 
tion is scant. She embraces the Disney 
theory that places humans somewhere 
below animals. 

John Bergevin 
Dallas, Pennsylvania 


BON APPÉTIT 
I just finished Lawrence Grobel's pro- 
file of Al Pacino (Looking for Al, Decem- 
ber), and I loved it. I read the entire ar- 
ticle while enjoying a rib dinner, and not 
only did I taste the entire meal, I also 
understood the entire article. 
Bart West. 
Shawnee, Oklahoma 


Lawrence Grobel has the most envi- 
able job in journalism. He traded quips 
with one of Hollywood's most com- 
pelling and ferociously private actors. Al 
Pacino reveals fascinating insights about 
his artand himself in this profile, and his 
film, Looking for Richard, attests to a risk- 
taking, over-the-top genius. 

Mike Buehner 
Waterloo, Ontario 


AFTER HOURS 
The last line of your December After 
Hours item "Ashe to Asses” seems to im- 
pugn Robert E. Lee, Stonewall Jackson 
and Jeb Stuart. I believe Arthur Ashe 
would have been proud to have his stat- 
ue placed among theirs. 
John McBeth 
Round Rock, Texas 


I'm dismayed by the implicit racism 
surrounding the project to place a statue 
of Arthur Ashe on the same street with 
monuments to Confederate heroes. The 
decision was made with due considera- 
tion, not only to his fame and skill as a 
tennis player but also to his sense of gen- 
tlemanliness, honor and fairness—qual- 
ities for which generals Lee, Jackson and 
Stuart were respected. I think the ghosts 
of Ashe and Lee et al. are perfectly com- 
fortable in one another's company. 

William Berryhill Jr. 
Pittsboro, North Carolina 


Arthur Ashe's statue was placed on 


10 Monument Row against the wishes of his 


widow and a great many citizens as a po- 
litical statement to create a conflict. His 
memorial is the only nonperiod, non- 
Confederate monument there and a 
protest, from both blacks and whites, 
was expected. 

‘Thomas Smith 

Anniston, Alabama 


MERRY CHRISTMAS, JENNY 
If Jenny McCarthy (When Jenny Met 
Santa, December) is going to be featured 
in next year's gala holiday issue, I'll glad- 
ly volunteer to play the role of San- 
ta Claus. 
John Lewis 
Manasquan, New Jersey 


When I first watched Jenny on Singled 
Out, I thought that she was quite the 
package. But the more I watched her, 
the more I thought she needed a relief 
valve to blow off the pressure from an 


extremely swollen head. She is a head- 
to-toe beauty, but she really ought to get 
that personality disorder fixed. 
Chris Baptista 
bapman@ici.net 
Acushnet, Massachusetts 


You have a great magazine and pub- 
lish pictorials of some of the world's best- 
looking women, so why recycle photos of 
Jenny McCarthy? I've seen those Dalma- 
tians before. It's time to look for some- 
one new who may be an even bigger hit 
than Jenny. 

K. Jenkins 
Chatham, Ontario 


I'd like to cast the first vote for Jenny 
as Playmate of the Millennium. 
Eric Houghton 
Ewing, New Jersey 


BASKETBALL JONES 
1 can't believe you left Brevin Knight 
off your preseason All-America team 


(Playboy's College Basketball Preview, De- 
cember). He's the best all-around player 
in Stanford history. 

John Reid 

Palo Alto, California 


LOUNGING AROUND 
I was disappointed that you recom- 
mended a Ralph Lauren chalk-stripe 
suit, a Tommy Hilfiger silk tic, anything 
by Calvin Klein and a completely un- 
loungey, darker-than-your-suit shirt in 
The Look of Lounge (December). You're 
dressing people for an evening with Si- 
mon Le Bon and Amanda de Cadenet, 
not Frank Sinatra and Shirley MacLaine. 
A.S. Hamrah 
Lower Allston, Massachusetts 


HOORAY FOR RECYCLING 
Гуе been a PLaYBoY subscriber for five 
years and feel I truly get my money's 
worth. My wife fights me for each issue, 
as do the other attorneys at my office. I 
take the magazine to the gym to read 
while I exercise, and it gets circulated 
there. Then I give the issue to a friend, 
who passes it on to his son in college- 
That's recycling at its best. 
Terry Shulsky 
tshulsky@concentric.net 
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 


XXX FILES 
During my investigation of Sex Stars 
1996 (December), I discovered Gillian 
Anderson's photo. All I can say is, “Good 
work, agents.” 
Richard Klenhard 
Elk Grove, California 


TOO TOXIC 

I am writing in regard to Michael 
Reynolds article Toxic Terror (November) 
because my father, Tom Lavy, is featured. 
in the story. I'd like to correct some of 
Reynolds’ misstatements. It's an undis- 
puted fact that the FBI didn't believe my 
father had any ties with Patriots or a 
militia group. Agent LC. Smith of Little 
Rock confirmed that to my family and to 
the media. Reynolds states that neo-Nazi 
literature was found in my father's pos- 
session when he crossed the border into 
Canada. This is also untrue. The article 
goes into great depth about guns, am- 
munition and cash my father had with 
him when he crossed the border, but it 
fails to say that the guns were deer rifles 
used for hunting in Alaska, not for ter- 
rorist activity. The cash was from the sale 
of his home. 

What was my father doing with the 
ricin? He took the answer to his grave. 
He wasn't a terrorist. He was a good fa- 
ther and grandfather. He was a member 
of the American Legion and of a Mason- 
ic order. 


Lisa Hoelting 
Moscow Mills, Missouri 


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PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS 


REAL MEN EAT SPAM 


The Order of Manly Men is a thriving 
organization that celebrates testosterone 
in all its limited forms. It is the brain- 
child of R.M. пе, who describes him- 
self as "the manliest FTD florist in the 
Pacific Northwest." The first annual 
Manly Men Parade and Spam Festival in 
Roslyn, Washington featured a Spam 
queen in a Bentley, a Spam-mobile (a 
riding lawn mower with a six-foot ply- 
wood Spam сап) and a Scotch Sippin’ 
Stump Sittin’ Cigar Smokin’ Seminar. 
The festival is nonsexist, and a woman 
even won the tool-belt contest. The Seatile 
Times celebrated the event by holding 
a contest for the title of manliest man. 
One entrant boasted in print of having 
“passed gas at the ballet” and another 
said he poured concrete somewhere 
around his house every six months. But 
the top prize went to a guy whose fa- 
vorite color was camouflage. Crane says 
his group now numbers more than 1000 
men nationwide. Membership entails 
"no dues, no meetings and absolutely no 
responsibilities—it's perfect for a man." 
But for a $28 fee, you get an official cer- 
tificate, a coffee mug and a gold mem- 
bership card. (Call 800-99-MANLY to 
join.) You can also order merchandise, 
which includes T-shirts and caps. The 
best-selling Manly Man jockstrap comes 
in black or white. Says Crane, “The black 
ones are evening w 


MINX OIL 


Having pored over recent high-fash 
ion advertisements (the ones in which 
the models are capriciously dressed, sug- 
gesting a smack-induced lack of atten- 
tion), we were taken by the way the mod- 
els’ hair looked greasy and dirty. Of 
course, we immediately understood that 
this was a good thing. A hairstylist at 
New York's Henri Bendel explained to 
Forbes that when oil builds up in hair, it's 
“sexier.” One product even claims to 
give hair "polish and a sort of languid, 
sexy, slept-in look." It turns out that 
looking like a just-awakened Johnny 
Depp isn't cheap. Among the products 
available are Brilliantine, from the Burn- 


ble and bumble [sic] salon ($10 for two 
ounces), and Kiehl's version ($15.50 for 
four ounces) However, an economy- 
minded stylist suggests Lubriderm body 
lotion. Perhaps mixed with a soupcon of 
used bathwater? 


CASH OR CZECH? 


Getting compliments where it can 
Dept.: When a branch of the financially 
troubled Agrobanka, the largest private 
bank in the Czech Republic, was robbed, 
bank honcho Jiri Klumpar touted the 
robbery as a ringing vote of confidence 
in the bank's likelihood of actually hav- 
ing some cash. 


CELLULAR FOAM 


Fun goo. It seems there is a way 
around the recent New York law that 
prohibits inmates from throving bodily 
fluids at prison employees. Prisoners 
have taken to collecting their semen in 
plastic bags, putting it in envelopes 
along with other expressions of undying 
ardor and mailing them to loved ones. 
Trouble is, when these envelopes are 
processed by prison mail-sorting ma- 


ILLUSTRATION BY GARY KELLEY 


chines, workers are occasionally squirted 
with the amorous frappé. But because 
the splashes are unintentional, the law 
does not apply. 


SMOOTH OPERATOR 


The suspect remained calm at all 
times: A Texas state trooper, checking 
out a vehicle that perhaps was swerving, 
found 3 million Valium pills in the car. 
The driver was arrested, presumably 
without a struggle. 


KEYBOARD EXORCISES 


In Cologne, Germany, the Lazarus So- 
ciety is in hot holy water with the Ger- 
man Conference of Bishops. The Society 
has come out with a CD-ROM, Confession 
by Computer, which offers a menu of the 
200 most frequenily committed sins and 
a program by vhich wretched, comput- 
cr-literate sinners can cop to their trans- 
gressions. Penances consistent with the 
sins are then assessed, and there is a link 
to online priests. 


CALIFORNIA SCHLIEMANN 


When assistant professor of anthro- 
pology Laurie Wilkie excavated the Zeta 
Psi fraternity house abandoned in 1911 
on the campus of the University of Cali- 
fornia-Berkeley, she found "trash, but 
historic trash." The day-and-a-half dig— 
occasioned when construction on a new 
wing for the law school began—yielded 
a collection of old bottles, medicines, 
toothbrushes, bones and other relics 
from what was soon dubbed “the not-so- 
ancient Greeks." The haul also uncov- 
ered broken pottery —which immediate- 
ly became known as fratware. Mysteries 
abounded. For example, what explains 
the 46 Del Monte ketchup bottles? Were 
they receptades for homemade beer? Or 
is it what one female student called the 
Bachelor Condiment Syndrome—a the- 
ory that holds the brothers ate food so 
horrible they had to douse it with lots of 
ketchup. That would explain the Pheno- 
Wafer bottles (which contained a popu- 
lar upset-stomach remedy). What does 
all this work give the scholarly world? An 
insight into how “a part of California's 


13 


14 


RAW DATA 


SIGNIFICA, INSIGNIFICA, STATS AND FACTS | 


QUOTE 

“The Batman out- 
fit that Val Kilmer 
and Michael Keaton 
wore will fit George 
Clooney every- 
where except for 
the codpiece, which 
will have to be dra- 
matically enlarg- 
ed."—JOEL SCHU- 
MACHER, DIRECTOR OF 
Batman and Robin 


IRON MAN 
Number of bones 
Olympic weightlifter 
Mark Henry broke 
when he dropped 
352 pounds on his 
foot: 0. 


CONGRESSIONAL 
PAGES 

Number of unsold 
copies of Speaker of 
the House Newt 
Gingrich’s novel, 
1945, in a Pennsylvania warehouse: 
97,000. 


WHEELS OF THE FORTUNATE 
Cost of a Schwinn Black Phantom 
bicycle in 1960: $79.95; suggested re- 
tail price of reintroduced Black Phan- 
tom model in 1995: $3000. 


PEC-ING ORDERS 
Number of pectoral implant opera- 
tions performed on men in 1994: 32. 
Average cost of the procedure: $4000. 


EURO RAIL 
Minimum length for condoms set 
by the European Committee for Stan- 
dardization: 6.7 inches. 


HAPPY TIME 
Number of times per day that the 
average preschooler laughs: 400. 
Number of times per day the average 
adult laughs: 15. 


TRACKING LAUGH TRACKS 
The percentage of listeners who 
laugh at hearing the first burst of 
laughter on a tape of canned laugh- 
ter: 50. The percentage who laugh af- 


FACT OF THE MONTH 

Three of the five top-selling 
infomercial products in 1996 
were fitness machines: an ab- 
dominal exerciser, the Power 
Rider and the Health Rider. 
(Other top-sellers: the Psychic 
Friends Network and Tony 
Robbins Personal Power tapes.) 


ter hearing the tenth 
burst: 2.5. 


PET CONCERNS 

According to the 
Pet Food Institute 
and The New York 
Times, the amount. 
spent on pet food 
worldwide in 1995: 
$10 billion. Amount. 


BLUE MONDAYS 
The estimated 


depression costs the 
U.S. in lost workdays 
per year: 825 billion. 


А ТАР TOUCHED 

The number of 
Minnesota's 87 coun- 
ties that have had re- 
ports of deformed 
frogs in 1996: 54. 


COSMIC INFLATION 
The cost per gram of a rock from 
Mars in 1990: $50. Cost in 1995: 
$400. Cost in 1996, after remnants of 
life found in a Mars rock: $2500. 


40 WHACKS AND 40 WINKS 
Cost of one night's stay (including 
breakfast) in the Massachusetts house. 
where Lizzie Borden is alleged to 
have ax-murdered her parents: $219. 


LIVING DOLL 
Chances of meeting a woman 
whose measurements are 36-18-33, 
the extrapolated measurements of a 
Barbie doll: 1 in 100,000. 


MASTER BLASTER 
Estimated pints of fake blood 
spewed by Gene Simmons during 

Kiss’ 1996 world tour: 358. 


PIG IN THE POKEY 
Days in jail a Pennsylvania man was 
sentenced to after he made pig noises 
and played Old MacDonald Had a 
Farm every time his ex-wife walked by 
his home: 30. АЧКА BILLINGS 


elite prepared for adulthood,” says Wil- 
kie, adding, “I've never heard of any 
other fraternity excavations. It doesn't 
seem to be a hot subdiscipline within 
archaeology.” 


HOW DO I LOVE THEE? OWL SHIT! 
BUGGER THE POPE! 


In California there is a plucky new en- 
terprise called. Echolalia Press, devoted 
solely to publishing the writings of per- 
sons afflicted with Tourette’s syndrome. 
Induded are works of verse by Emma 
Morgan that strive “to capture TS in 
poetic form.” 


FAMILY JULES 


Writer and illustrator Jules Feiffer is 
known for his political cartoons, movie 
scripts and children’s books. He is do- 
nating his drawings and papers to the 
Library of Congress and recently gave 
an illustrated talk there. But what is not 
so well known is that his cousins—Roy 
Cohn and Dick Morris—may have had 
more of a political impact than he. “I 
used to think of myself as a radical, a left- 
ist—and then the left disappeared,” he 
told The Washington Post. "Now I describe 
myself as an illusionist because I insist on 
thinking things will get better but cannot 
point to any reason why.” 


KRONAS FROM HEAVEN 


Eduardo Sierra, a Spaniard in Sweden 
on a business trip, dropped into a 
Catholic church in Stockholm to pray. 
"The church was empty, save for a coffin 
containing the late Jens Svenson. So 
Sierra said a prayer for him, signed 
Svenson's blank condolence registry 
book and left. Svenson was a wealthy 
man with no close family. His will left 
his entire estate to “whoever prays for 
my soul.” Sierra is now a millionaire. 
We must remember to attend church 
more often. 


BACON BITS 


Playing off the premise that everyone 
on earth is linked to everyone else by six 
or fewer relationships, the party game 
Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon has grown 
from an amusing notion to full-blown 
cult status. A new book on the subject, 
bearing the same name as the game 
(Plume), ties the actor to a host of film 
stars. For example, Meg Ryan was in 
Sleepless in Seattle with Tom Hanks, who 
was in Apollo 13 with Bacon, giving Meg 
Ryan a second degree of separation. A 
World Wide Web version of the game, 
The Oracle of Kevin Bacon (http://www.cs. 
virginia.edu/bct7m/bacon html), has 
managed to link almost every actor of 
the past 50 years with Bacon. Most re- 
cently, Friends star Jennifer Aniston ap- 
peared with Bacon in Picture Perfect, giv- 
ing her debut on the Bacon charts an 
impressive rating of one. 


"La Femme Nikita” 
Mondays at 10 pm/9C 
A sexy streetpunk is trapped 
in a li ni nd espionage. 
Another original USA Studios 
production. Only on USA Network. 


NETWORK 


MOVIES 


By BRUCE WILLIAMSON 


AINLESS YOUNG people hanging out at a 
strip mall in a town called Burnfield are 
the subjects of study in subUrbia (Castle 
Rock). Based on a hit play by Eric Bo- 
gosian and directed by Richard Link- 
later (of Slacker and Before Sunrise), the 
movie plunges its characters into a 
nightlong orgy of sex, envy, racism and 
violence. A successful rock musician 
named Pony (Jayce Bartok) comes home 
in his limo, accompanied by a snooty 
publicist (Parker Posey), and incites the 
resentment of his former buddies. Gio- 
vanni Ribissi, Nicky Katt and Steve Zahn 
portray the threesome, whose principal 
recreation seems to be raising hell 
around the mall's convenience store, 
which is owned by a Pakistani couple. 
This grim slice of life set in a typical mid- 
dle-class suburb reflects no optimism. 
Author Bogosian himself states: "If it's 
the American dream, why does it feel so 
fucked up?" Well put and well acted, 
subUrbia is good work. ¥¥¥ 


Wes Craven's Scream (Miramax) is an. 
entirely campy spoof of horror films. Af- 
ter Drew Barrymore is done away with 
in an eerie opening sequence, the movie 
plunges into a killing spree that obvious- 
ly excites all the teenagers in town, 
whose cultural references range from 
Psycho to Halloween to Silence of the Lambs. 
Among the victims, voyeurs and perpe- 
wators covered with gore and movie lore 
are Courteney Cox, Neve Campbell, 
Skeet Ulrich, Matthew Lillard and Jamie 
Kennedy. They all generate a frightful 
lot of fun—much of it contagious if 
you're not squeamish. УУУ; 

. 


A small American town celebrates its 
150-year history with a musical review in 
Waiting for Guffman (Sony Classics/Castle 
Rock). Director Christopher Guest also 
stars as the ambitious, affected Corky St. 
Clair, who is putting on the show with lo- 
cal talent and naively believes it could be 
his shot at moving to Broadway. The 
town, Blaine, is known as the Stool Capi- 
tol of the World (they manufacture 
them). And the movie follows Catherine 
O'Hara, Fred Willard, Parker Posey and 
Lewis Arquette as they struggle through 
rehearsals. As low camp, Guffman scores 
with plenty of wickedly sardonic region- 
al color. ¥¥ 


Curiosity is sure to draw audiences to 
director Alan Parker’s adaptation of Evita 
(Hollywood Pictures), which turns out to 
be grandiose but rarely gripping. The 


16 all-singing operatic soundtrack taken 


Muhammad Ali: King of Kings. 


Mall rats on the move, 
kids in jeopardy and 
siblings back in sync. 


from the theatrical epic by Andrew 
Lloyd Webber overwhelms Madonna, 
Antonio Banderas and Jonathan Pryce, 
through no fault of their own. The 
movie's score and the drama of Eva 
Perón's short, eventful life as Argentina’s 
first lady seem to proceed as separate en- 
tities, which makes the movie more an 
episodic musical pageant than an emo- 
tionally involving biography. Madonna 
sings and dances valiantly through her 
tide role, with Pryce as a stolid Juan 
Perön and Banderas narrating as the 
sexy, skeptical Che. All earn A's for effort, 
but they look lost amid a mournful cast 
of thousands. УУУ: 


1n 1974 Muhammad Ali went to Zaire 
to challenge boxing's reigning heavy- 
weight champion, George Foreman. 
Having been stripped of his title belt be- 
cause he objected to U.S. military service 
several years carlier, Ali became an out- 
spoken social critic, entertainer, hero 
and symbol to his African soul mates. He 
was 32, but he fought his way back to 
glory. The famous six-week buildup to 
that Foreman-Ali bout is recalled in di- 
rector Leon Gast's When We Were Kings 
(Gramercy), subtitled “The True Story of 
the Rumble in the Jungle.” News footage 
from the period, accompanied by music 
(James Brown and B.B. King) and inter- 
views (with George Plimpton, Spike Lee 
and Norman Mailer), vividly re-creates a 
memorable sporting event. Kings is the 


definitive record of a moment in boxing 
history that transformed a quick-fisted 
loudmouth into a legend. ¥¥¥/2 


The late Tupac Shakur, as a bass play- 
er named Spoon, co-stars with Tim Roth 
(as Stretch, on keyboards) and Thandie 
Newton (she’s Cookie the vocalist) in 
бгі оска (Gramercy), a feisty comedy 
about a musical trio with serious prob- 
lems. Drugs are their downfall, and 
when Cookie overdoses one New Year's 
Eve, Spoon and Stretch embark on a 
hopeless odyssey to hell and gone— 
eluding some bad guys, bambéozling the 
cops and talking their way through a 
tangled bureaucracy into rehab. In his 
debut as writer- ctor, actor Vondie 
Curtis-Hall (of TV's Chicago Hope) ac- 
quits himself admirably; he knows this 
inner-city turf, and adds a wry note to 
Shakur's swan song. УУУ; 

. 


Diminutive Andrej Chalimon, a Rus- 
sian tyke not yet six years old, melts all 
resistance in the title role of Kolya (Mira- 
max). Precocious Andrej is the pawn in a 
disarming comedy from the Czech Re- 
public. Zdenek Sverak stars, and also 
wrote the screenplay—directed with un- 
sentimental wit by his son, Jan Sverak. 
The elder Sverak plays Franusek, a mid- 
dle-aged bachelor and cellist who per- 
forms at cremations and spends his free 
time seducing other men's wives (partic- 
ularly Libuse Safrankova as Klara). In 
order to get money to buy a car, he is 
lured into a marriage of convenience 
with a young Russian woman who needs 
official Czech papers. Soon after, the 
bride impulsively decamps to join her 
lover in Germany, leaving her little boy 
behind. The rest is predictable but de- 
lightful—with young Kolya underfoot in 
Frantisek's cramped apartment, where 
he inhibits his reluctant stepfather's sex 
life while making the case for family val- 
ues. With dry-eyed humor and a cheeky 
attitude, both Sveraks and young Chal- 
imon make their collaboration a father- 
and-son triumph. ¥¥¥/2 


Funny, wise, compassionate and de- 
cidedly downbeat, Marvin's Room (Mira- 
max) uses its fabulous cast to smooth its 
cutting edges. Meryl Streep, Diane Kea- 
ton, Leonardo DiCaprio and Robert De 
Niro take over the key roles in director 
Jerry Zaks’ film based on Scott Mc- 
Pherson's hit play. Streep seethes as Lee, 
a tough cosmetician from Ohio who 
travels to Florida after a 20-year es- 
trangement from her sister Bessie (Kea- 
ton). Suddenly stricken with leukemia, 
Bessie may require a bone-marrow 


Ga т ЫА t your le side. 


KENTUCKY STRAIGHT 
BOURBBN WHISKEY 


20 


Scott Thomas: From Prince to patient. 


OFF CAMERA 


Over the telephone from Paris, 
English-born Kristin Scott Thomas, 
35, faces her future as a major 
movie star with mixed feelings. 
"Hype terrifies me,” she says. After 
being bombarded with plaudits for 
her performance in The English Pa- 
tient as the glamorous British wife 
caught up in a torrid affair with 
Ralph Fiennes, she's back in the 
Left Bank home she shares with 
her French husband, a well-known 
obstetrician, and their two chil- 
dren. "I'm just painting walls and 
digging in my garden. The rest is 
too much to cope with. You're 
tempted to think: Hey, I must be 
brilliant. Seriously, of course, it's 
great. My character, Katharine, is 
probably the person I'd most like 
to be, despite the movie's gory 
ending." 

The eldest of five children 
raised in Dorset, Thomas studied 
drama for a year in England, then 
moved to Paris, worked as an au 
pair and wound up in a French 
acting school. Oddly, her first 
movie job in English was as the 
leading lady to Prince in his misbe- 
gotten Under the Cherry Moon. 
"Then came her breakthrough 
role as the elegant chum who loves 
and loses Hugh Grant in Four Wed- 
dings and a Funeral. "While the 
film's success changed my career, I 
always felt people saw me as very 
cool and distant." Even so, there's 
a steamy undercurrent to her 
roles in Roman Folanski's Bitter 
Moon, in Angels and Insects (“That 
movie made braininess sexy") 
and in Richard HI, where she's se- 
duced by lan McKellen over her 
dead husband's body. Now the big 
time beckons, and Thomas ac- 
knowledges that she has been re- 
ceiving offers from "some very 
impressive sources. But so far, 
nothing grabs me by the throat.” 
When something does, the former 
"funny little English girl" certain- 
ly looks ready to make waves 
everywhere. 


transplant from a blood relative. Accom- 
panying Lee are her two boys, including. 
the wayward teenage son (DiCaprio) 
who has just burned down her house. 
While the family wrangles, reunites and 
faces the future anew, the battling sis- 
ters’ father, the titular Marvin (Hume 
Cronyn), is dying of cancer in his room. 
No summary can do justice to the salty 
down-home humor of a piece so rich in 
talent that it can alford De Niro in a role 
as the consulting family doctor, plus 
Gwen Verdon as the resident crotchety 
aunt. Streep, Keaton and company lift 
the ordinary people of Marvin's Room 
to extraordinary heights. ¥¥¥ 


A gruesome monster pursues and de- 
vours well-dressed patrons in the bowels 
ofa Chicago natural history museum in 
The Relic (Paramount). That's all you 
need to know if special effects and mass 
destruction are your dish. Penelope Ann 
Miller is the evolutionary biologist sup- 
plying scientific data to police lieutenant. 
D'Agosta (Tom Sizemore) and a museum 
executive (Linda Hunt) while the mutat- 
ed beast begotten in South America 
munches away. Sound familiar? VJ; 

. 


Thirty years after the murder of civil 
rights leader Medgar Evers, a crusading 
assistant D.A. named Bobby DeLaughter 
brings Evers’ killer to justice. Producer- 
director Rob Reiner replays that true 
story with gusto in Ghosts of Mississippi 
(Columbia/Castle Rock). Given a role he 
can sink his teeth into, Alec Baldwin 
shows solid grit and conviction as De- 
Laughter, who destroys his first mar- 
riage, faces threats against his children 
and all but loses his peace of mind in his 
quest for truth. Whoopi Goldberg plays 
it straight as Evers’ widow, while James 
Woods adds to his gallery of archvillains 
as the assassin, Byron De La Beckwith. 
Ghosts shows that racism in America did 
not end in the Sixties. ¥¥¥ 


Writer-director Greg Mottola’s The 
Doytrippers (Cinepix) is the comedy sleep- 
er that startled audiences at movie festi- 
vals from Athens to Cannes to Deauville 
to Toronto. It’s the slight but appealing 
account of how members of a ditzy Long 
Island family pile into a car with their 
marned daughter Eliza (Hope Davis) to 
follow her husband Louis (Stanley Tuc- 
ci), who seems to be getting love notes 
from someone named Sandy. Before 
their questions are answered, the family 
encounters several eccentric strangers, 
wanders into a book party and generally 
goes to pieces. Anne Meara and Pat Mc- 
Namara are Eliza's parents, with Parker 
Posey as Eliza's sister Jo and Liev 
Schreiber as Jo's pretentious boyfriend. 
All turn out to be pleasant company on 
an odyssey that comes to a dead end. YY 


MOVIE SCORE CARD 
capsule close-ups of current films 


by bruce williamson 


Albino Alligator (Reviewed 1/97) 
Hostages in a bar, directed by Kevin 
Spacey. Wh 
Blood and Wine (2/97) B-movie melo- 
drama gets boost from Nicholson and 
a class-A cast. Wh 
La Cérémonie (2/97) Chabrol's chilling 
prelude to murder in a French 
cháteau. wy 
The Crucible (1/97) Daniel Day-Lewis 
stars in a gripping treatment of the 
Arthur Miller classic about Salem’s 
witch trials. Wy 
The Daytrippers (See review) A family 
outing gets sidetracked while hot on 
the trail of a philanderer. PI 
The English Patient (2/97) Rich romantic 
melodrama as it used to be. УУУУ 
The Evening Star (Listed only) Mac- 
Laine comes to Terms again. yy 
Evita (See review) A disappointment, 
yes—but it isn't Madonna's fault. ¥¥/2 
Ghosts of Mississippi (Sce review) 
Medgar Evers’ case reopened with a 
solid cast. yyy 
Gridlock'd (See review) On-the-town 
comedy with a pair of dopeheads. ЖУУ: 
Hamlet (2/97) The four-hour Branagh 
version, most of it super. m 
Kolya (See review) Czech swinger in- 
herits a winning Russian tyke. УУУУ: 
Marvin’s Room (See review) Good ac- 
tors in a grim comedy about the 
big C. Wy 
Nothing Personal (Listed only) In 
volatile Belfast, Erin goes bananas 
again. Wh 
The People vs. Larry Flint (2/97) Milos 
Forman makes a cogent case for the 
defense of the man from Hustler. УУУУ 
The Portrait of a Lady (2/97) Dull finish 
on Kidman, directed here by Jane 
Campion. v 
The Relic (Sce review) Monster at large 
in a crowded Chicago museum. 
Uh-huh. vh 
Scream (See review) For kids who dig 
serial murder—by Wes Craven. ¥¥/2 
Sling Blode (1/97) Homecoming of a 


killer who may do it again. УУУ 
subUrbia (See review) Unnerving pack 
of mall rats mills aimlessly. yyy 


Troublesome Creek (Listed only) Strik- 
ing nonfiction study of an Iowa fami- 
ly farm going under. К ЕЛА 
Waiting for бийтеп (Sce review) A 
jerkwater town celebrates its past. YY 
When We Were Kings (See review) It's 
Muhammad Ali in fine form. ¥¥¥/2 


¥¥¥¥ Don't miss 
УУУ Good show 


YY Worth a look 
У Forget it 


VIDEO 


OUEST SHOT 


When it comes to off- 
duty entertainment, 
Yaphet Kotto, who 
plays the intense 
Lieutenant Al Giardel- 
lo on NBC's Homicide, 
is a pushover for the 
supernatural. "There's 
a whole world out 
there that never 
makes it to the big 
screen," Kotto says, 
adding that TV's 
Sightings series is a winner in his house. 
But vihen Kotto suffers from UFO overload, 
he feeds the VCR qumshoe flicks. “I like 
Basil Rathbone's Sherlock Holmes," he 
says, “and I'm also a fan of the Thin Man 
movies. Nick and Nora have become 
friends of mine." Kotto's most prized video 
find is somewhat offbeat: a documentary 
about Punta del Este, the Uruguayan resort 
town. "You're going to think I'm mad," he 
says, "but whenever I watch it, | lock the 
deor and draw the blinds. This place is 
heaven on earth, and no one wants you to 
know it exists.” Until now. —DONHACDE 


VIDBITS 


It’s not as good as The Godfather, but it's 
not as long, either. HBO's acclaimed 
mob drama Gotti stars Armand Assante 
as the titular don of the Gambino crime 
family. The story traces Gotti’s rise, as 
well as his penchant for breaking Mafia 
codes—which led to his undoing. An- 
thony Quinn and William Forsythe co- 
star. . .. On the heels of Independence Day 
and Mars Attacks! comes the granddaddy 
of alien-invasion pictures, The Wer of the 
Worlds, reissued by Paramount for $9.95. 
The 1953 Martian chronicle may not 
have the bells, whistles and morphs of 
today’s flying-saucer blockbusters, but 
the effecis won an Academy Award— 
and, boy, do those Fiftics screenplays 
love to crank up the tension. Show it to 
your kids and gloat. 


VIDEO CHASERS 


When they say “Cut to the chase,” they 
mean “Get to the good part.” So we have. 
Bullitt (1968): Steve McQueen's bumpy 
ride through San Francisco became the 
model for stomach-churning, roller- 
coaster car chases. No wonder the edit- 
ing took an Oscar. 

The French Connection (1971): The chase 
beneath the el—often imitated, never 
surpassed—makes Speed look pedestri- 
an. Watch out for that baby carriage. 

The General (1927): Silent hero Buster 
Keaton did it all without flashy special 


effects. His acrobatics on a hijacked loco- 
motive are still awesome. 

Smokey and the Bandit (1977): Pure corn, 
but clever high-octane highway gags 
abound as bootlegger Burt Reynolds 
dodges hayseed sheriff Jackie Gleason. 
Directed by a stuntman (Hal Needham). 
Duel (1971): Someone call AAA. Steven 
Spielberg’s first feature finds weary 
salesman Dennis Weaver in a rental car, 
going grill-to-grill with a mysterious and 
deadly tanker truck. 

North by Northwest (1959): In Hitchcock’s 
droll spy thriller, on-the-lam Cary Grant 
ducks and dodges a maniacal crop 
duster. Hollywood's best—and only?— 
man-versus-biplane chase. 

The Seven-Ups (1973): Quasi-sequel to The 
French Connection finds Roy Scheider in 
the driver's seat. Best stunt: Rear of a 
parked truck turns speeding coupe into 
a convertible. 

Stagecoach (1939): Amazing how fast 
those clackity wheels spin in the face of 
an Indian attack. John Wayne's Ringo 
Kid rides shotgun in John Ford's classic. 
Das Boot (1981): Crippled U-boat makes a 
gallant effort to get back to Germany, de- 
spite pounding from Allied bombs and 
torpedoes. Killer ending. 

it’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World (1963): One 
long chase. Autos, bikes, planes, trucks, 
cop cars, Checker cabs and an all-star 
cast highlight this fast-paced race to find 
$350,000 in buried loot. Hysterical. 
Fantastic Voyage (1966): Holy hemoglo- 
bin! Miniaturized doctor Raquel Welch 
is up the bloodstream without a paddle 
when huge white corpuscles decide she’s 


each) is perfect 0 


the parsimon 

_ paramour. ТЕКЕ (ей Roy (Scots i in 
love), The Cutting Edge 

rink), The ! Goodbye Girl fac 

etual jiltee), The Lover (teen girl comes of 

age in Twenties s Vietnam), Rich in Love (re- 
tiree's passion n reboots after wife splits) 
and Moonstruck (love, opera, Cher and la 
famiglia in Brooklyn). Enjoy. 


a germ and quickly adhere to her body. 
Smart cells. — BUZZ MCCLAIN 


LASER FARE 


Before she began cranking out costume 
dramas, Winona Ryder was the ultimate 
screen teen. Now Lumivision has cap- 
tured her darkest—and funniest—foray 
into adolescent angst on disc. Heathers 
(1989) features Ryder as the only non- 
Heather in a hot high school clique; with 
rebel classmate Christian Slater, she 
bumps off her bitchy friends. The disc 
features audio commentary by director 
Michael Lehmann, original trailers, re- 
mastered sound and a beautiful digital 
transfer. Speaking ofnice-looking, Shan- 
nen Doherty co-stars. —GREGORY P FAGAN 


The Island of Dr. Moreau (Н.С. Wells tale finds Brando ond 
Kilmer splicing genes in paradise; best bit: Vol’s midfilm 
Marlan impersonatian), The Fan (crackpot De Niro stalks 
baseboll star Snipes; familiar turf, but Bob's nut scores). 


Matilda (whip-smart girl autfoxes evil adults; DeVita and 
Perlman steal it as world's worst parents), Jack (anatomical 
glitch seriausly accelerates boy's growth; it's not Big, but 
Rabin Williams keeps the shticky kid stuff coming). 


Kansas City (Altman's jazzy paean ta Thirties K.C.; best: 
Н. Belofonte's gangster; worst: JJ. Leigh's REL 
dame), Feeling Minnesota (Comeran Diaz holds her own in 
funky, seedy lave triangle; disarmingly kinky). \ 


Мой Flenders (Robin Wright is Defae's zesty 18th century 


pratofeminist; nat as sexy as PBS' spin, but more to the 
point), The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie (Maggie Smith's 1969 
g spinster, newly restored by Fo») 


21 


© Philp Morris Inc. 1897 


xm "tar; 0.8 mg picotina:áv. percigatette by FTC method: 


SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Smoking 
Causes Lung Cancer, Heart Disease, 
Emphysema, And May Complicate Pregnancy. 


MEDIA 


By STEPHEN RANDALL 


HELEN GURLEY BROWN, the longtime edi- 
tor of Cosmopolitan, has a talent for look- 
ing foolish. CNN recently captured her 
being hoisted aloft by a group of Fabio 
wannabes. There she was, at age 74, gig- 
gling like a schoolgirl. Even her ph: 
appearance is cartoonish. So wispy-thin 
she appears frail, Brown looks like the 
poster girl for the Anti-Plastic Surgery 
League—her ultratight skin a warning. 
against having one face-lift too many. 
And when she spoke, things got worse. 
She preached her gospel of good sex in а 
breathless voice that merely solidified 
her reputation as the silliest magazine 
editor in America. 

One can easily imagine the stuffy exec- 
utives of the Hearst Corp., Cosmo’s par- 
ent company, reaching for their nitro- 
glycerin tablets every time she visited a 
talk show. But for 30 years, they bit their 
lower lips and suffered their corporate 
humiliation in private. Helen Gurley 
Brown and Cosmo were making them a 
fortune. 

But in January 1996, they fired her— 
giving her until the February 1997 issue 
to help break in the new editor, and to 
exit the magazine with a modicum of 
grace. (Brown will remain at Hearst as 
editor in chief of Cosmo's international 
editions.) Brown didn't want to go, but 
she had embarrassed Hearst too many 
times. She hadn't taken AIDS seriously 
enough, she was on the wrong side of 
the sexual harassment issue and, worse, 
she had gotten old. Forget that the mag- 
azine continued to perform well, bring- 
ing more than $50 million in profit in 
1995 to a mismanaged publishing com- 
pany always eager for a nice cash influx. 

It's too bad, too. Besides being the 
silliest magazine editor in America, Hel- 
en Gurley Brown was also one of the 
smartest. Not only was she much smart- 
er than other editors gave her credit for, 
she was often smarter than she thought 
she was. No wonder she was an outcast 
in publishing, where the opposite is gen- 
erally true. 

She was an outcast for other reasons, 
as well. When she took over editing Cos- 
mopolitan, magazines—even women's 
magazines were run by a fussy group 
of martini-swilling men with Ivy League 
pedigrees. If they didn't hold their audi- 
ences in disdain, they were at least indif- 
ferent to them. It was one thing to edit a 
magazine for the ordinary woman, but 
you wouldn't want to invite her to the 
club for lunch. 

Brown had a different worldview. For 
years, she rode the subway to work, to 
watch her "Cosmo girls" up close. She was 
43 when she got the Cosmo job, and for 


24 much of her adult life she had been just 


COSMOPOLITAN 


Farewell 


That's All, 
Folks! 


So Long 
Adieu 
Bye у 


Bye 
Now 


The Cosmo Girl says goodbye. 


Was Helen Gurley Brown 
the silliest editor in America— 
orthe smartest? 


like her readers, a working girl (17 dif- 
ferent secretarial jobs) who wanted more 
out of life. She understood them. She 
identified with them. To help them get 
everything Brown wanted them to have, 
she reinvented the failing Cosmopolitan as 
the most ingenious how-to manual ever 
published, addressing the subjects that 
were really on her readers’ minds—most 
notably sex. “From the beginning,” 
Brown told Newsday, "I knew it would be 
a magazine for young women who love 
men—and want to find one.” It was a re- 
pressed era, but Brown unabashedly cel- 
ebrated premarital and sometimes ex- 
tramarital sex. (“Гуе never felt married 
men were off-limits,” she explained.) 
iding the subway paid off. Her vision 
was less of the future than of the present, 
and she managed more than any other 
women's magazine editor to reflect the 
sexual and feminist revolution taking 
place around her. An early fan of Hugh 
Hefner and рілувоу, she freely bor- 
rowed some of the liberating advice Hef 
gave his male readers. Brown, too, re- 
belled against the restrictions she saw 
around her. She wanted her readers— 
"mouseburgers" she called them—to en- 
joy successful careers and to pamper 
themselves with material possessions, 
just as she did. If they wanted a man, 
Brown offered advice on how to get 
one. She even persuaded Burt Reynolds 
to pose centerfold-style in 1972, boost- 
ing both the magazine’s circulation and 
Reynolds’ fledgling career. 


She developed a loyal readership and 
became rich and famous, but she was 
never taken seriously. Her magazine, 
which grew from a circulation of 
783,000 when she took over in 1965 to 
3 million in 1988, never won a National 
Magazine Award. Hearst never made its 
most successful editor a member of its 
board of directors nor gave her the 
wider corporate responsibility it would 
have given an equally successful man (or 
a less-embarrassing woman). Feminists 
bashed her. “I was accused of hurting 
the cause because 1 was still talking 
about women as if they were sex ob- 
jects,” she said in The New York Times. 
“But to be a sex object is a wonderful 
thing, and you're to be pitied if you 


She took unflinching—and unpopu- 
lar—stands. Indeed, her softness on the 
AIDS issue was considered dangerous at 
the time (“We have tried not to scare the 
daylights out of the Cosmo woman," she 
told CNN). Her tireless enthusiasm for 
flirting in the office seemed dated in the 
era of Anita Hill and Bob Packwood. 

And yet those Cosmo cover lines con- 
tinued to rule the newsstand: SEIZE THE 
NIGHT: YOUR SEXUAL PEAK IS NOW. WOMEN 
ADDICTED TO MEN. SEX AND THE GYM. REAL 
MEN TALK ABOUT WHY THEY DUMP GREAT 
WOMEN. MIND-BLOWING SEX: TEN WAYS TO 
HAVE BETTER ORGASMS. The problem? 
"Those five cover lines aren't from Cosmo, 
but from recent issues of Glamour, Marie 
Claire, Allure, Mademoiselle and American. 
Woman. Brown's influence infiltrated 
every other women's magazine. Imita- 
tion may be flattering, but when every- 
one else is copying you, a drop in sales is 
not far behind—last year's circulation 
was down to 2.5 million from the 1988 
peak. "People aren't buying it like they 
used to," Brown admitted to Newsday, 
“partly because Cosmo bas been cloned.” 

That helps explain why Brown's last 
blowout issue is now on the stands, and 
why much of her staff and stable of writ- 
ers have been cut loose by the new edi- 
tor. Brown will be given the appropriate 
send-off. If you sense sadness behind her 
smile as she makes her last round of TV 
interviews, it’s because she is sad. Brown 
made no secret of her desire to continue 
editing Cosmopolitan, and Hearst made 
no secret of its distaste for the idea. 
Brown is already well past the age when 
most people retire and, let's face it, when. 
a 74.year-old woman talks about sex in 
that goofy Helen Gurley Brown manner, 
the squirm factor increases exponent 
ly. Most of all, she's a victim of changing 
times and, as usual, Brown is reflecting 
the world her beloved Cosmo girls live in. 
They exist in an economy that no longer 
guarantees them job security. As it turns 
Out, so does Helen Gurley Brown. 


Enjoy Black Label Responsibly 


Jobnnie Walkers Black Lalele, Blended Scotch Whisk, Importe 12 Year ОМ, 
40% Alc Vel, (30 Proof) ©1996 Scbieffelin & Somerset Co. ork NY 


R&B 


TONY TONI TONE, one of the best and most 
consistent bands in black pop, is back 
with a strong retro-soul album, House of 
Music (Mercury). This trio writes witty, 
melodic songs and plays crisply in a style 
that pays homage to the past while still 
sounding contemporary. The set is full 
of gems: Thinking of You, a Memphis-style 
groove, and the soul ballad Still a Man 
are two of the best. In the current soul 
revival, the Tonys hold a central place. 
On Babyface's fourth solo alburn, The 
Day (Epic), he tempers his typical pop 
production with more personal material. 
"The centerpiece of this collection is the 
title track, subtitled (You Gave Me а Son), 
an emotional piano-driven ballad about 
the birth of his child. More up-tempo is 
Simple Days, a nostalgic look at his own 
childhood. Writing with Stevie Wonder, 
Babyface recorded How Come, How Long, 
his first social commentary track, about 
the murder of a woman. Other stars 
make cameo appearances: Mariah Carey 
sings backup on Every Time I Close My 
Eyes and Eric Clapton solos on Talk to Me. 
The hit single This Is for the Lover in You is 
surprisingly hip-hop-based and features 
the voices of former Shalamar members 
Howard Hewett and Jody Watley. 


NELSON GEORGE 


ROCK 


OK, I admit I just wanted to see the 
title Burn in Hell Fuckers (Bong Load 
Records) by Lutefisk on the venerated 
PLAYBOY Rockmeter. But it's actually a 
terrific punk rock album. Lutefisk has 
found a balance between the Ramones 
and Flipper that didn't exist before. The 
band marries a sense for pop melodies 
with a nihilistic contempt for everything. 
The result is funny and oddly life-affirm- 
ing. The band’s voices work whether 
they are screaming or harmonizing, 
even when they're deliberately out of 
tune and inane. And it’s performed with 
such a cathartically snotty attitude that 
you can listen a lot more than once. Cho- 
ruses such as “Burn and rob, burn and 
rob/Rock and roll makes me want to 
burn and rob" make it unlikely Lutefisk 
will see heavy rotation on MTV, so you'll 
have to buy it to hear it 

Even if you thought, as I did, that the 
Grateful Dead mostly sucked, you might 
find yourself developing an inordinate 
fondness for Shady Grove (Acoustic Disc), 
by Jerry Garcia and David Grisman 
Garcia on guitar and Grisman on man- 
dolin are focused here by their obvious 
affection for and understanding of the 
ancient folk songs they are covering. 


26 They manage to pull it off by sounding 


Tony Toni Tone's House of Music. 


The Tonys' soul revival, 
Joni Mitchell's hits and misses 
and the Beatles' third anthology. 


modest and like virtuosos at the same 
time. —CHARLESM. VOUNC 


Joni Mitchell would allow her record 
company to release her greatest-hits al- 
bum only if she could also put out a sep- 
arate LP that documented the ones that 
got away. Both Hits and Misses (Reprise) 
are crammed with delightfully odd 
choices. Various songs could easily have 
wound up on either collection, which is 
probably Mitchell's point. For 30 years, 
she has produced a body of work that 
rarely sounds dated. Each song is inti- 
mate and musically gorgeous. Hits is my 
favorite simply because the songs seem 
woven together. 

The first two Beatles anthologies were 
intriguing but fragmented. You don't 
have to be a musicologist or collector, 
however, to enjoy the third and final 
double album of the series, Anthology 3 
(Capitol). These early takes, demos and 
outtakes from the Beatles’ last three al- 
bums are a revelatory reintroduction to 
the band you thought you knew. These 
are complete songs that were later 
dressed up with strings, choirs and harp- 
sichord. Here they're presented either 
as acoustic demos or as raw, risky band 
takes that are often a lot more fun than 
what was ultimately released. Plus you 
get new material such as Lennon's 
avant-garde rocker What's the New Mary 
Jane, Harrison's searing Not Guilty and an 


‘early take of Helter Skelter that will remind 


you of Come Together. —-VICGARBARINI 


WORLD 


In France, where African émigrés en- 
ergize the most enthusiastic and affluent 
Afro-pop audience in the world, the 
voice of 28-year-old Oumou Sangare, 
from Mali, has been a sensation for most. 
of this decade. And in her homeland, 
this impassioned opponent of polygamy 
and arranged marriage is so popular 
that politicians pay lip service to her 
feminist ideas. Onstage, Sangare is si- 
multaneously regal and outgoing, sexy 
and sisterly, traditional and emancipat- 
ed. On record, she's easier to under- 
stand once you've learned her story and 
glanced over the lyrics of Woretan (World 
Circuit, c/o Rounder, One Camp Street, 
Cambridge, MA 02140). It's clear that 
she's a progressive in music as well as in 
politics. The interlocking rhythms, the 
unforced synthesis of African and Amer- 
ican instruments and the occasional 
horn charts from James Brown alumnus 
Pee Wee Ellis add up to some fresh funk. 

After something of a dry spell on 
America's Afro-pop front, a few other re- 
leases are also recommended. Paris- 
based Zairean Tshala Muana is a less 
challenging singer than Sangare, but her 
second U.S. album, Mutuashi (Stern's 
Africa, 598 Broadway, New York, NY 
10012), does a nice job of sprucing up 
soukous rhythms. Sam Chege, a post- 
graduate student in Iowa, generates the 
bright-cyed innocence of Kenyan benga 
on Kickin' Kikuyu Style (Original Music). 
And for those looking for a way in, com- 
piler Daisann McLane dips into the 
Caribbean and even the U.S. on her su- 
perb introductory tour of the rhythms of 
the African diaspora. It's called Kwanzoa 
Party!: A Celebration of Black Culture in Song 
(Rounder). ROBERT CHRISTGAU 


JAZZ 


Art Blakey remains the model for jazz 
drummers leading their own bands, 
thanks in part to Louis Hayes and Ray 
Appleton. Both men embrace Blakey's 
hard-bop ethos on new CDs for the styl- 
ish little Sharp 9 label (888-742-7723). 
"The versatile and well-traveled Hayes 
leads a quintet of younger musicians on 
Louis At Large, especially notable for the 
debut of Riley Mullins, a brash newcom- 
er on trumpet. On Appleton's Killer Roy 
Rides Again, the splashy and inventive 
drummer pilots a sextet of mostly veter- 
ans, starring saxist Charles McPherson. 
It's a lively reminder that in the right 
hands, the jazz of the Fifties and Sixties 
is still alive. — NEIL TESSER 


Sun Ra’s The Singles (Evidence) pro- 
vides the final proof that the great jazz 


orchestra leader truly was a master of 
space, time and doo-wop. These ultra- 
rare sides include pure rock-and-roll vo- 
cal harmony, straight-up Chicago blues, 
horror-movie organ improvisations and 
some of the wildest avant-jazz pieces 
ever put on 45s. Every bit of it is marked 
by craft without condescension, vision 
without pretensc, and sublime vit. These 
sides have a greater claim than anything 
else I’ve heard to being the real origins 
of jazz rock and experimentalism in 
mainstream pop music. —DAVEMARSH 


COUNTRY 


Marshall Chapman's Love Slave (Mar- 
garitaville/Island) is certainly the year's 
most misnamed record. There are some 
funny songs here, and the title track is 
one of them, but there's no indication 
that Chapman belongs to anyone but 
herself. The best of her songs—A Mystery 
to Me, If I Can't Have You, In the Fullness of 
Time—deliver the shock of recognition 
that comes when intimate stories and 
grown-up emotional situations hit home. 
Musically, the tough country-rock blend 
picks up where Chapman's live album 
left off last year. Imagine Mary Chapin 
Carpenter with another ten years’ expe- 
rience, more blues and grit in her 
singing and the wit to rip off the Who at 
the end of an antigun song, and you'll 
get the picture. Chapman, long one of 
Nashville’s best renegade songwriters, 
has become the kind of performer her 
fans trust to bring them both good times 
and insight. — DAVE MARSH 


The unadorned harmonies of the 
Louvin Brothers are some of the most 
influential sounds in country music his 
tory. Charlie and Ira Louvin were a fire- 
and-brimstone team. The reissues ofthe 
late-Fifties Tragic Songs of Life and Satan Is 
Real (Capitol) are filled with simplistic 
beauty. The Kneeling Drunkard's Plea and 
Are You Afraid to Die reveal the brothers’ 
g style: There was a ceiling to 
Charlie's range, so Ira would cue in on a 
high lead and Charlie would drop under 
on low harmony. That became the Lou- 
vin Brothers' trademark, a style that has 
influenced Emmylou Harris, Gram Par- 
sons and Bruce Springsteen. 

Wilco is kin to the Louvin Brothers. 
It's evident in the spacious arrange- 
ments and the increasing emphasis on 
harmony on Being There (Reprise). Wilco 
songwriter Jeff Tweedy looks at life with 
wonder. The double CD has a fine mesh 
of laments, love songs and lullabies. The 
best track may be What's the World Got in 
Store, which sounds like Brian Wilson 
playing banjo. In the rural blues ballad 
Kingpin, Tweedy’s sultry vocals actually 
lock into the goofy line “J wanna be your 
kingpin/Living in Pekin.” Being There is 
just right for the first road trip of spring. 

—DAVE HOEKSTRA 


FAST TRACKS 


Garbarini 

3 7 6 8 8 
Burn in Hell Fuckers if i 2 6 8 
Jani Mitchell 
Hits and Misses 9 10 9 9 10 
Oumau Sangare 
Worotan 9 8 8 6 8 
Топу Toni Tone 
House of Music 9 7 9 Y 8 


DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT HISTORY DE- 
PARTMENT: A wire service report last fall 
told the story of an archaeological dig 
that led researchers to conclude that 
Roman and medieval musicians bent 
notes on wooden pipes and bone 
flutes to achieve off-pitch sounds— 
not unlike the ones made by modern 
jazz and blues musicians. Maybe Fred 
Flintstone wasn't as primitive as we 
thought. 

REELING AND ROCKING: Director Jon- 
athan Demme and Robyn Hitchcock have 
teamed up to make a documentary 
movie and an album. Demme will film 
Hitchcock and fellow musicians at a 
storefront, with an audience of 50. 
The movie will be available in theaters 
and on video this spring. . . . A docu- 
mentary about Abbey Road Studio 
will be released late this year Al- 
though best known for the Beatles, the 
studio was also home to Glenn Miller 
and Pink Floyd. 

NEWSBREAKS: In case you didn’t 
know, Pete Townshend considers Quad- 
rophenia a work in progress, and it 
could possibly end up as a theatrical 
production. . .. Look for more Live at 
the BBC discs this year, culled from 
archived performances by the Rolling 
Stones, Jimi Hendrix, David Bowie and 
the Police. . . . Other Jimi news: Final- 
ists have been chosen in the Hendrix 
family guitar competition and will 
compete in the spring for prizes. The 
winner's prize will include an invita- 
tion to play in the Jimi Hendrix Trib- 
ute Concert in New York. . .. Look for 
a Yes studio album this summer, and 
for the first Moody Blues album in five 
years. . . . Marianne Faithfull's former 
husband, John Dunbor, has discovered 
some drawings John Lennon made 
when the two traveled to Ireland to- 
gether. Think they're worth some- 
thing now? . . - Michael Nesmith's first 
novel, The Long Sandy Hair of Neflune's 


Aura, will be published in the fall by 
St. Martin's. . . . In the first two of 
many spoken-word histories, Mon- 
stersounds Entertainment has re- 
leased The Doors: Myth & Reality and 
Paul Kantner's A Guide Through the 
Chaos, about the Jefferson Airplane. . . . 
An exhibit of Grateful Dead poster art is 
on a 30-city national tour. . . . African 
American sophomores in community 
colleges or technical schools are eli; 
ble for a Nat King Cole Scholarshi 
they have a 3.0 GPA and are planning 
to continue their education. Applica- 
tions are available at financial aid 
offices. The program was started by 
EMI and Capitol Records. . . . Rusted 
Root retained ownership of its first LP, 
Cruel Sun, which turned out to be 
a very smart move. Sun sold about 
50,000 copies when it was released, 
but the success of Roots major-label 
debut has boosted its sales to about 
1000 copies a week. The band earns 
four to five times more from that than 
it does from the big company. . . . A 
new musical based on E.L. Doctorow's 
novel Ragtime will open on Broadway 
at the end of this year. It went from 
book to movie to musical. . . . Quincy 
Jones is jumping into the late: night 
talk-show wars. He's producing a one- 
hour syndicated show with urban 
artists. Stand-up comics and inter- 
views are also in the mix. . . . PLAYBOY 
Critic Dave Marsh and Jon Bon Jovi 
mixed it up recently on AOL. Marsh 
castigated Bon Jovi for switching po- 
litical parties from Republican to 
Democrat between 1992 and 1996. 
Bon Jovi called it American to change 
your mind and said announcing your 
party affiliation is not political. Marsh 
thought it was cynical, because Bon 
Jovi played Clinton's 50th birthday 
bash this past summer. We like this in- 
sider stuff. — BARBARA NELLIS 


27 


STYLE 


CHECK IT OUT 


If you associate checked sports 
coats with used-car salesmen, 
it is time to pay attention. 
Checked looks have gone so- 
| phisticated for this spring. 
Whether you opt for subtle or 
bold, look for soft fabrics and. 
unexpected color combos. 
Perry Ellis offers its signa- 
ture “unbalanced checks" 
in smooth fabrics and colors 
that blend for a rich tapes- 
try effect. We especially 
like its taupe threc- 
button wool model, 
which is woven with 
thick yarns to create a 
much softer construc- 
tion ($395). Fora check 
so subtle it looks virtual- 
ly solid, try Arnold 
Brant's olive and black 
sports jacket in a wool and 
nylon blend. It's stretchy 
for comfort and is offered in 
two-, three- or four-button 
styles ($395). In the Assets 
line, designer Andrew Fezza 
offers a four-button wool 
sports jacket in cobalt blue 
with a maize check (about 
$375). Or try the three-but- 
ton sage and moss look 
by Mickey Spatz ($795, 
pictured middle left). 
It's made of a hi; 
twist wool fabric 
that doesn't wrin- 
Ме. For a dramat- 
ic statement, you 
can opt for Hugo 
Boss' two-button 
tapered wool 
variation in an oversize black-and-white 
houndstooth check ($575, bottom left). An 
even bolder effect is featured in Nigel's 
three-button sage, yellow and brown wool 
jacket ($495, top left). And Nautica, de- 
signed by David Chu, underscores its all- 
American style with a blue and white po 
button seersucker minicheck suit with a 
high button stance ($295). 


parasailing, 


these shops: 
wreck, Ltd. ( 


beachwear s 
store offering 


Front Beach 


Trading Co 
Beckrich 


al marketplace 


and Africa. е 
Toggery (495 


jerseys, denim 


surfing and snorkel- 
ing, Catch a wave to 


Front Beach Rd.): A 


ming togs, volleyball 
shorts and clubwear. 
* Trader Rick's 
Surf Shop (12208 


Skate threads, 
sneakers and wet 
suits. ө Rainforest 


Shoppes at Edgewa- 
ter): An internation- 


vironmental curios 
from South America 


rich Rd., Shoppes at 
Edgewater): Casual- 
wear and accessories 
for nights on the 
town. ® Last Flight Out (10442 Front Beach Rd.): Baseball 


HOT SHOPPING: PANAMA CITY, FLORIDA 


The place to go for spring break this year is Panama City, a 
Gulf Coast party town with 27 miles of sugary sand and emer- 
ald water ideal for 


К CLOTHES LINE 
Richard Grieco, star of the new film 
Heaven or Vegas, does fashion on 
his own terms. That means wearing. 
one of 30 leather 
jackets—from a black 
bomber to a camel- 
colored three-quarter 
length—while riding 
one of of his seven 
Harleys. "I'm a big 
fan of jackets, particu- 
larly my Gucci black 
leather blazer with 
leather buttons," 
Grieco says. But with 
a 48-inch chest and 
a 30-inch waist, he 
finds it difficult to buy 
off-the-rack. "That's why | own 30 
Armani suits. They fit me well.” 
Grieco accessorizes with a silver 
bracelet of tiger claws from 
Maxfield in Los Angeles, a ring from 
the Canadian Hell’s Angels and 
Oliver Peoples wraparound shades. 


Ship- 
10570 


uper- 
swim- 


Rd.): 


(523 
Rd 


ofen- 


Hy's 
Beck- 


shirts, hats and more—all with the store's logo. 


HANDS UP 


Hands are among the body parts men ignore 
and women notice. If they're dirty, calloused 
or raw, there's little chance she'll want you to 
touch her vith them. But you can come clean 

with an antibacterial wash and hand cream. 
Molton Brown liquid cleanser is ideal for the 
gym; it kills germs you pick up from the 
equipment. LOccitane's shea butter is a nat- 
ural moisturizer—straight up or in a hand 
cream. If you wash your hands frequently, 
try Philosophy's protective Handmade. And 
if working on the Porsche has left you 
covered in grease, Origins offers liquid 
cleanser with peppermint as well as scrub- 
bing soap with sawdust and pine to remove 
anything from ink to heavy grimc. 


1 


H 


i 


T Y 


ES KE TR 


SNEAKERS 


OUT 


¡ht white, ultrasleek running styles; 
futuristic molded soles; breathable fabrics; 
Nike and Reebok 


PERFORMANCE 


Low-performance models with sport details; 
svede and nylon; speed lacing; two-tone old- 
school colors; Airwalks and Vans 


ОМ THE STREET 
28 


Edgy black; overweight, chunky basketball 
high-tops; anything that pumps or lights up; 
sloppy, untied laces; thick padding 


Wet-look plastics; faux-lecther vinyls; high-top 
canvas models straight from Sha Na Na; dime- 
store specials with no-grip soles 


Where & How lo Buy on page 162. 


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WARNINGS: Thrombotic thrombocytopenic purpura/hemolytic uremic syndrome 
{TIP/HUS), in some cases resulting in death, has occurred in patients with advanced 
HIV disease and also in allogeneic bone marrow transplant and renal transplant 
recipients participating in clinico trials of VALTREX at doses of 8 grams per day. 
PRECAUTIONS: The efficacy of VALTREX hos not been established for the treatment of disseminat- 
‘ed herpes zoster, or suppression of recurrent genital herpes, or in immunocompromised patients. 


Dosage odjusiment is recommended when administering 


VALTREX to patients with renal impairment (see DOSAGE 

AND AOMINISTRATION section of il prescribing information) 
Coution should also be exercised when administering VALTREX 

Хо patients receiving potentially nephrctoxic ogents since this. 
moy increase the risk of renol dysfunction and/or the risk of 
reversible central nervous system symptoms such os those that 
howe been reported in polienls treated with intravenous acyclovir. 


Information for Patients: Herpes Zoster: There ore по 


dota on treatment initiated more thnn 77 hoursafter onset of the 


zoster resh. Potients should be achised to iritiale treatment cs soon os possible after o diagnosis of 
herpes zoster. 


Genital Herpes: Petients should be informed that VALTREX is not a cure for 
‚geritol herpes. There ore no dato evaluating whether VALTREX will prevent tronsmission of infection 
to others. Because genital herpes is a sexually transmitted disease, patients should ovoid contact with 
lesions or intercourse when lesions and/or symptoms are present lo ovid infecing porters. Genitol 
herpes con alsa be transmitted in the absence of symptoms through asymptomatic viral shedding, IF 
medicol monogement of a geritol herpes recurrence is indicoted, patients should be advised to 
initiate therapy ot the first sign or symptom of on episode. 


There ore no dota on the effectiveness of rea'ment initiated more than 72 hours after the onset of 
signs und symptoms of o first episode of genital herpes or more thon 24 hours of the onset cf signs 
‘ond symptoms of o recurrent episode. 


Drug Interactions: Ar odiive inaease in ecclovir AUC and Cg, was observed when VALTREX 
wos administered to heolihy volunteers who were taking cimetidine, probenecid, ого combination of 
both cimetidine ond probenecid (see CLINICAL PHARMACOLOGY: Pharmacokinetics section of full 
prescribing information). 

Carcinogenesis, Mutagenesis, Impairment of Fertility: The dato presented below 
include references to the steady-stote acyclovir AUC observed in humans treated with 1 g VALTREX 
given orally three times o day to teat herpes zoster. Plasma drug concentrations in animal studies. 
‘ore expressed os multiples of human exposure to ocyclovir (see CUNICAL PHARMACOLOGY: 
Pharmacokinetics secon of full prescribing informotion) 


Volocdoiir was noncorcinogenc in lifetime carcinogenicity bioassays ol single daily doses 
(gavage) of up to 120 mg/kg/day for mice and 100 mg/kg/doy or rots. There wos no signticont 
difference in the incidence of tumors between treated ond control animals, nor did valacyclovir 
shorten the latency of tumors. Plasma concentrations of acyclovir were equivalent to human levels in 
the mouse bioossay ond 1.4 to 2.3 times human levels in the rat bioassay. 

Volacyclovir was tested in five genetic tonicity assays. An Ames assay wos negative in the absence. 
or presence of metabolic octivotion. Alsa negative were on in vitro cytogenetic study with human 
lymphocytes and о rot cytogenetic study at a single oral dose of 3000 mg/kg (В to 9 times human 
plasmo levek) 

In the mouse lymphoma assay, volocydovir was negative in the absence of metabolic octivation 
In the presence of metabolic activation (76% to 88% conversion to acyclovir), valacyclovir wos 
weakly mutagenic. 


A mouse micronucleus assay wos negative at 250 mg/kg but weakly positive ot 500 mg/kg 
(осудом concentrations 26 to 51 times human plasma levels). 


Velocdovi did пой impair eit orreproducion in rots ot 200 mg/kg/day (6 tines human 
plasma levels 


Pregnancy: Teratogenic Effects: Pregnancy Colegory B. Valocyclovir was not teratogenic in 
rats or rabbits given 400 mg/kg (which results in exposures of 10 ond 7 fimes human plasma levels, 
respectively) during the period of major orgonogenesis. There ore no odequate and wellcontalled 
studios of VALTREX or ZOVIRAX in pregnent women. A prospective epidemiologic registry of acyclovir 
use during pregnancy hos been ongoing since 1984. As of December 1994, outcomes of live births 
have been documented in 380 women exposed tc systemic acyclovir dwing the first trimester of 
pregnongy. The occurrence rate of birth defects opproximotes thot found in the general populolion 
However, the smoll size of the registry is insufficient to evaluate the risk for less common defects or to 
permit reioble ond definitive condusions regarding the solely of ocydovir in pregnant women ond 
their developing fetuses. VALTREX should be used during pregnoncy only if the potentol benefit justi- 
fies ће potential risk to the fetus. 


nancy Exposure Registry: To monitor matemal-Istol outcomes of pregnant women 
exposed to VALTREX, Glaxo Wellcome Inc. meintoins a Valocydovir in Pregnoncy Registry. Physicians 
re encouroged fo register their patients by calling (800) 722-9292, ex. 39437. 


Nursing Mothers: Ther is no experience with VALTREX. Howova, ocyclovir concentrations have 
been documented in breast milk in tuo women folowing oral cdministration of ZOVIRAX and ronged 
tom 0.6 lo 41 tines conesponding plasma level These concentrations would potertioll expose he 
nursing infont to a dose of ncydovir os high os 0.3 mg/kg/day, VALTREX should be odministered to a 
nursing mother with caution and only when indicated. 


Pediatric Use: Safety and effectiveness of VALTREX in pediotric patients have not beenestoblished. 


Geriatric Use: Of the totol number of patients included in cincel studies of VALTREX, BIO were 
оде 65 or older, and 339 were oge 75 or older. A totol of 34 volunteers age 65 or older completed a 
phomocckineic niol d VALTREX. The phormacokineis of eco following single- ond multiple- 
dose orol administration of VALTREX in geriatric volunteers varied with renal function. Dosage 
tedudion moy be required in geriatric patients, depending on the underlying renal status of the 
patient (see CLINICAL PHARMACOLOGY and DOSAGE AND ADMINISTRATION sections of full 
peescibing information) 


ADVERSE REACTIONS: The adverse events reported by greater thon 2% of о given treatment 
group in dinicol triols of VALTREX ore listed in Table 1, 


Table 1 
Incidence (%) of Adverse Events in Herpes Zoster und 
ital Herpes Study Populations 
Мере Zoser Gita Herpes 
VALTREX | ZOVIRAX | Placebo | VALTREX | VALTREX | ZOVIRAX | Ploceto 
igi | stag | meins) | des | some | 20 | (0-43) 
Mera kunt dn- 98) Sadoiy b=1,19) | (n=35) 7 
{n=378) h=82) 
m m w 1 n П 7 П 
њав u n u x u u и 
Vig в в 3 1 1 2 E 
Donte 5 1 LI 4 5 3 6 
Constoation 4 5 3 <! 1 1 1 
Ktheiio 4 5 4 2 1 2 4 
Dizziness 3 6 1 3 2 2 3 
Abdominal Poin 3 3 1 2 3 7 3 
[o 2 3 1 а а а а 


OVERDOSAGE: There have been no reports of overdosage from the administration of VALTREX. 
However, it is known that precipitorion of acyclovir in renal tubules may occur when the solubility 
(2.5 mg/ml) is exceeded in the introtubulor Aid. In the event of осие rena! failure and onun, the 
potient mn benefit from hemodolyss until renal funcion is restored (see DOSAGE AND ADMINIS- 
TRATION) 


US. Potent No. 4,957,924 R369 October 1996 
GlaxoWellcome 
Ошо Welcome Inc. 
Res ange POA HE Sms 
© 1997 охо Wellcome Inc. VAT Printed in USA. March 1997 


ZOVIRAX® Capsules BRIEF SUNMARY 


ZOVIRAX® Tablets — 
ZOVIRAX® Suspension 
(acyclovir) 


toi a briet summary orly: see il prescrbing inforaton for complete родот, meh 
ing references. 


CONTRANOICATIONS: ZOVIRAX Capsules. Tabs and Suspension are ooriraindcated tor paiorts ho devel- 
ор hypersensitivity or intolerance to ће components o! the 


WARNINGS: ZOVIRAX Capsules, Tablets, and Suspension are intended for oral ingestion only, 


PRECAUTIONS: 

General: ZOVIRAX has caused decreased spermabgeresis parenteral doses in some animals and 
In sue a sudes a hh toneliaons d dug (ee PRECAUTIONS. Dum 
gets, paren 0 EU Te recommend ski nrbe eret ee D 

isecton o! ful prescribing inormaion). 
Exposure of herpes Simplex and vartela-zoste sales to acyclovir in vîro can lead о the emergence o! less 


'senctive viruses, The possility ol th appearance of less sensitive viruses in humans must be bome in mind 
wen resto pains The rang between he in vivo sestvy of herpes singlet or ae renes 
{a acyclovir and circa response вару has yet o be esthiaed бее PHARMACOLOGY: 


Microbiology section of full prescribing informa 
Because ol ne po gru t p pie 


Tablets, and Suspension are lor rl 

dose sho not be exceeded. ZOVI 

a eu RE 
recurrences. 


curenly marketed 
wh moth cll ci cy vig 10 m d ZONA per dy hr Туа # fua 
‘show any abrormalties т Suche or number of chromosomes. 
Herpes Zoster Infections: Adults age 50 ог oler tend o have more severe shingles, and reatmer with ZOVI- 
RA showed mor sia bnt Or cicer pt. Tener vae begun van 72 hors d ra Orsel in 
бою sudes and sep aa VI ио о o a y er 
ило tough compos ne tay cien is usualy а oma desse to 
and adults tend to have more severe disease. Treatment was inated win 24 
feats us Utd cheese d Detail des std erie wo Lom RR tm ps 
сй атап Bean em De deesse corse Ls uno wheter ТЕ wenten of chickenpox ОМО 
as шу sec on anger immunity, However Dee 8 no evidence lo indcate bat тоат chckenpor 
АХ woul hare any eec on eher decessor erging ре incidence or Ser of subsequent 
Ver tees лае erue be oF is indicated tor he treatment o vari- 
‘ela-rosier infections in 
Oni Interaction 


sta or beaten of gemal in animal studies are 


human 0 ine ar a over dong Sues pee Ei 
equam ayer al higher dosing бе 


Acydoi was tested т time bioassays in rats and mice at doses of up 10450 пуло admin. 
soy prse Teo a cb rad 


ic ticity assays.  mamrnalan cells т vito. 
Beer 


east 1 
‚vd Fas ol меп shown to impar ty or Tercio in mie (450 malay. ро) ori rats 


угу s.c Inte mouse suo), plasma. 910 18 bnes human vas, m 
Mare 1 nes ure biis Als hoe dos w tretat mad se) Der was a ниш 
increase in post-mplartation loss, But no conzomrant бесове Sr, n terrae rats Wea 


acyclovir subsequent to maing, hare was a statstically enfant decrease in implan- 


tain бону but no concer derase in ier size at a dose ol 50 ЧУУ (6 to S1 times hurran 
levels), No effect upon implante etfciency was observa when the Same 

eu (531 106 mes urtan o) Ina rat perz and гов sudy at SO поо sc (11 to 22 res 
haan ev), bere was a Sa $ decrease in te group Corpora ea, total 
TUS Ma ae la ete Кышы конок MIEL N 
аБо a dose-related decrease in group mean numbers of ive fetuses and implantation stes at 125 mo/g(tay and 
25 тууй, sc. The mtzaenocs administration of 100 тороу. г dose krawn to cause obstructve 
in ab, сазе а Spar increase й el ers and a corresponding decease in ter 
levels wert not measured) Hoveves ata masimu tolerated intaverous dose o! 50 туу бау 
in гайд (53 0 106 mes human 


te "atrophy. Plasma levels were not measured in the 1-month : 
туу Turpe 
тота бийге wem 2 
doses of 100 and 200 mı m Tor 31 days 
frere eran , while at 200 mg/kg 


100 sme eres wer. 
times human levels. No testar abnormaites were seen п dogs Quen 
jig ora tr {шш yea (9012 тертип вна) u 


{пуу Р, EEE е Mera бту, Е Ey) 


nal ty oe stris var en às doses f 100 

pls ees 6 and 125 times human leves, Tiere ат 

ELT ess ПЕ 
was in 


Pregnancy’ 
acyclovir Gao! 
bycaling (800) 722-0202 e 58455, 
ксп MM 
diria ОНА acd and rom 06,4 times coreondng esma eels, ee crei 
docs wok puma expose he nursing твт t a dise f acyclovr up o 03 men. Садки stouldbe 
OVS айтип woman. 
Pediatrie Ue" Say an actes in che es a d years ge heve rt been ce uch. 


feres Sip Sorento. ТЕ mg es rs ron бү na 

herpes wäh orally administered ZOVIFAX were nausea andr оттеп n B o! 206 patent 

and headache in 2 of 298 (06%). Nausea andlor vomiting occurred in 2 of 287 (0.7%) 
ates wno even pco, 

adverse events, each of which occurred in of 298 patient treatments wih orally administered 

aire IRAX (0319. rote dan, ars, ares, lue, dena, San rash, eg pain, гга adenopa- 
sore 

Tem Aininsiraon: The sr avec ins repcrtedin а ia vil for he revertor o 


Какан na EE Bed 
En [denia 4%) дү EL 


Бу 390 равеп who ected to corünue 
or 2 years were headache (1.5%). rash 
third year included asthe- 


ron eno adve svenis рот үшү с Косу 
shige) wi БО ту о ra ZOVIRAX Ste daly for 6 10 u ‘were: malase 
E raises (09) beatan o) ess) dara 

ecto Tec rado тае (Т. тава (1.9), Tee its) vong (en, dan 


ils Ti net Irae adest ves during three cinica tials ot treatment of chickenpox 
with orl ZOVIRAX in 405 patents were diarrhea (42%), abdominal pain (0.6%). REGI колу T 
ЖО Тайке 4). Пе 480 patenis rca pa reported: daria (22) висе (0. 


seed Our Cia Practice: Base ica ac оройтсон pet ad ih Dv 
inteus. ly reported adverse events are uncommon. Cata are insulin! lo support an estimate. 
d ther orto estabish causaton These everts may also ocow as part o! fe disease 
Process. Voluntary reports of adverse events whch have been гаселе Snce markelintoduchon! 
Jache. рап, peripheral edema, and rarely. anaphyiais 

‘Nervous: confusion, dizziness, Fallucnatcns, paresthesia, somnolence (These symploms may be mareo, 
particulary in oder adults) 

: deren, elevated liver function tests, gastrointestinal distress, nausea. 

eukoperi, ymphadenopathy 


OVERDOSAGE: Patents have ngested intentonal overtoses of vp to 100 capsules (20 c) o! ZOVIRAX, with no. 
ойлоп o clown renal sues may occur whe e (25 тута) n the intatubuar fud. 
acyclovir in ren n тут) n 
веке: Ric creed ball o lora па les by peed dup уаз 

occurred in he Species: rats vealed win iv and ip, doses ol 20 mods for 21 and 31, das. 
antatsc. ЖОН ПО ЕИ 05 8 
sce MODE е ашшы ык ны 


peritoneal dialysis are incomplete but indicate that tis 

en SEIS ord cis rer pus DOSAGE AND 
we alert may berett ro палову. function is restored (sea DOSAGE 
ESTI section of M prescribing information). 
US. Pani No 4198574 aren 1596 
GlaxoWellcome 

Gan eme ne 

pecie bansi Pr Cina 
© 1997 Gloxo Wellcome Inc. Painted in USA Li March 1997 


31 


WIRED 


HEAR THE FUTURE 


Imagine a future in which loudspeakers 
don't exist. Instead, sound coming from 
a typical stereo or home theater system 
materializes off any solid surface you 
choose—from your living room sofa to 
the bottom of the Jacuzzi in your master 
suite. Sound far-fetched? We thought so, 
too, until we heard a demonstration of a 
revolutionary technology called Hyper 
Sonic Sound. Invented by Elwood Nor- 
ris. chief technology officer at American 
Technology Corp. in San Diego, HSS us- 
es ultrasonic waves to make sound ap- 
pear as if it's emanating from midair. 
"The main piece of equipment is a trans- 
ducer system, which connects to a stan- 
dard stereo amp. Point one transducer 
(or several for a surround-sound effect) 
at a chair, potted plant or even some- 
one's head, and that’s where you'll hear 
your CDs or movie soundtracks play 


back. According to Norris, HSS gear op- 
erates more cfficiently than tra 
loudspeakers, which means you don't 
need to crank the volume. That saves 
electricity and your eardrums. Carver 
has signed the first license to bring HSS 
equipment to the consumer market. 
Norris expects it to arrive in stores in 
mid-1997, at a price comparable to that 
of current stereo gear. 


опа! 


dollar-a-month unlimited connection to 
the Internet through your television. 
Currently that connection is made at 100 
kilobytes a second, which is already 
faster than current modem tech- 
nology. But we're told that sub- 
scribers vill ultimately be able to 
surf about 270 times faster with a 
cable modem. Another fun fea- 
ture of digital cable is the display 
of song info you see on your TV. 
screen when your home theater. 
receiver is tuned to Music Choice 
tal radio. Local program- 
ming, which cannot be beamed 
by the DSS birds, is available on 
digital cable. And your monthly 
bill will go up only slightly with 
the upgrade. 


TECH WE CAN'T RESIST 


Virtual reality is taking a quantum leap 
forward this spring with the introduc- 
tion ofcomputer gaming controllers that 
incorporate a breakthrough technology 
called force feedback. It's a series of 
gears and gyroscopes housed in the base 
of new-generation joysticks and game 
controllers, designed to offer physical re- 
sistance based on cues sent from gaming 


software. Using CH Products’ new Force 
EX joystick ($250), for example, you'll 
be able to battle g forces in kamikaze 
nosedives and spin out on the autobahn 


while the stick jumps around in your 
hands. Many of the hottest game devel- 
opers are already adding force-feedback 
support to their latest games as well as 
creating downloadable patches for fa- 
vorites such as Descent II, Need for 
Speed SE and Jetfighter III. Other 
force-feedback devices in the works: a 
steering wheel controller by Thrustmas- 
ter and a joystick by Microsoft, both due 
in stores later this year. 


MA  — 


When you're backcountry skiing or snowboarding this spring, stay on course and in 
touch with Magellan's GSC 100 (pictured below). This handheld global positioning 


sctellite device displays latitude and longitud 


from military satellites, and it lets you send and 
receive e-mail anywhere in the world. Messages 


are transmitted vic a personal satellite com- 
munications network, so that you needn't 
worry about proximity to phone lines or 
cell-phone towers. And you don't have to 
memorize e-mail addresses either—the 
GSC 100 hos the capacity to store up іо 
150 contacts. The price: about $1000, 
plus a $30 activation fee and upwards of 
$5 per month for e-mail service. € Interest- 
ed in jazzing up your home videos but don’t 


le coordinates obtained 


feel like spending a fortune on gear? Then 
check out Videonics Home Video Producer. 
This stort-up kit for future Scorseses includes 
Videonics’ Thumbs Up 2000 {a video editor 
that lets you keep and cut footage by pressing 
“thumbs up” and “thumbs down” buttons). The 
Home Video Producer also comes with the 
Sound Effects Mixer 2000, a gadget that can add 
59 sampled audio effects to your tapes, as well os 
a microphone, speakers, an instructional video- 
tape and o handbook with a slew of production 
tips. Not bad for $329. ® Blaupunkt has intro- 
duced clever new remote control for its car stere- 
os. Called the Thummer, it’s shaped like с curved 
wedge and mounts to the inside rim of your car's 
steering wheel. You use your thumb to press control 
buttons, and the Thummer sends an infrared beam 
to carry out the commands. The price: $100. 


CABLE’S COMEBACK 


Satellite television's exclusive bragging 
rights to more channels with better qual- 
ity pictures and sound may not last 
High-capacity, high-grade digital cable 
is up and running in a handful of cit- 
ies and will soon reach various systems 
nationwide. Compatibility with current 
technology is the key to cable’s come- 
back. Satisfied customers can stick with 
their analog service or get a new box 
that can add channels by the digitized 
dozens. There are also other clever fea- 
tures even satellite doesn't offer. One of 
32 the most promising is World Gate, a five- 


MULTIMEDIA 
REVIEWS & NEWS 


ON CD-ROM 
Storfloet Academy set in th 
verse, is a graphically bri 
combat simulator for the PC. Players 
take on the roles of cadets attending Star- 
fleet Academy (in San Francisco's Pre- 
sidio) and command the USS Enterprise 
in 29 simulated missions that encompass 
all aspects of starship command. Among 
the instructors at this prestigious acad- 
emy are Tiek stars William Shatner, 
George Takei and Walter Koenig, who 
make guest appearances in full-motion 
video dips. (By Interplay, for Mac, Win- 
dows 95 and Play Station, about $60.) 


CYBER SCOOP 


ıJ For a sneak peak and an early 


A- 


shot at testing IBM's next gener- 
atian Net software, check aut Al- 
phaWorks al www.alphaworks. 
ibm.cam. In an unprecedented 
move for IBM, the company has 
set up this online lab to share its 
future technology—and to gain 
feedback—before the final prod- 
ucts hit the market. 


Humphrey Bagart will make his 

dia debut this full i 
interactive odventure by Cortina 
Entertainment. We're told the 
game will have a retro black- 
end-white look and lots of classic 
film-noir elements. 


Artificial Life goes mainstream with Crea- 
tures, a groundbreaking scientific experi- 
ment disguised as a CD-ROM game. 
Users can raise endearing virtual beings 
(best described as a cross between a 
chimp and a puppy) from eggs to great- 
grandparents, with complete control over 
their health, happiness 
and education. The in- 
corporation of genuine 
neural nets and simulat- 
ed sentient behavior, 
mixed with a healthy 
dose of humor, makes 
this one of the most cap- 
tivating entertainment 
titles in some time. (By 
Inscape, for Mac and 
Windows, about $50.) 


Steven Spielberg’s Direc- 
tor’s Choir is an ente 
ing game that doubles 
as a moviemaking tuto- 
rial. With the Academy 
Award-winning director as your mentor, 
you learn the film biz from the ground 
up. juggling script development, edit- 


Torontino sets off sporks 


ing, budget crises and actors’ overblown 
egos. (The egos in this game belong to 
such hotshots as Quentin Tarantino, 
Jennifer Aniston and Penn and Tel- 
ler.) As your skills progress, your 
creative options grow, along with 
your budget. In the end, you make 
a short film, which can be up- 
loaded onto the developer's 
Internet site and shared 
with other future Holly- 
mood moguls. (By Knowl- 
edge Adventure, for 
Windows and Mac, $55.) 


The Girlie Game pre- 
sents a raunchy and 
oddly elegant inter- 
active exploration of 
a lushly designed So- 
ho strip dub. The humor 
is wry and the girls are hard- 
edged, with the notable excep- 
tions of a sexy French maid and 
an alluring blonde amazon 
who invites you to pop the 
balloons that serve as her 
stage costume. Pass through 
the leopardskin curtains to 
view hard-core vignettes for 
a quarter each. Go to the 
main counter to purchase props for the 
strippers to use in their acts, or a virtu- 
al magazine peppered with spots that 
bring explicit photos to life. But watch 
your wallet. If you run out of cash, the 
girls lose interest quickly, and the dub's 
bouncer has precious little patience for 
gawking deadbeats. (By Rom Antics, for 
Windows and Mac, $49.) 


Among the current crop of generic 
sports titles, Extreme Games stands out for 
originality and adrenaline-inducing fun. 
Based on ESPN's televised compctition 
of whacked-out sports, the PC and Play 
Station title lets you take a stab at Roll- 
erblading, mountain biking and street 
luge on one of six international courses 

against a colorful cast of 
strect gladiators. But be- 
ware—contact is permit- 
ted, and your oppo- 
nents are amped and 
angling for the inside 
line. (By Sony Interac- 
tive Studios, $50.) 


Conspiracy theorists will 
delight in Drowned God, 
a beautifully rendered 
multidisc mystery that 
weaves orical fact 
and fantasy into a com- 
plex and intriguing ad- 
venture through time. 
Incorporating most of 
the best-known conspiracy theories— 
from the creation of the pyramids to the 
extraterrestrial find at Roswell—the tal- 


ented developers at Inscape have man- 
aged to deliver another fascinating mul- 
timedia oddity that is entertaining and 
thought-provoking. (For Windows, $50.) 


Erotica doesn’t get any glossier than 
Latex Interactive, the most visually so- 
phisticated carnal CD-ROM to date. 

Incorporating clips from the slick 
film of the same name, this futuristic 
game sets you on a journey through 
the mind of Malcolm Stevens, a sexual 
psychic. Your mission is to rescue a col- 
league who became lost in Stevens’ psy- 
che while performing a 21st century ver- 
sion of psychosurgery. After solving a 
few simple puzzles to gain access to the 
lobes within, you can search Stevens" 
mind for clues to your colleague's 

whereabouts. You'll find lots of sexy 
video snippets to tease you through 


JÎ your quest, but casual gamers are 


not likely to discover some of the 
best bits without visiting 
VCA's Web site at www. 
vcaexposed.com for 
tips to help stretch latex to 
its erotic limits. This sexy 
two-disc spinner definitely 
sets the high-water mark for adult gam- 
ing. (By VCA Interactive, for Mac and 
Windows, about $50.) 


ONLINE 

There's something incredibly provoc- 
ative about a woman in rubber—espe- 
cially the rubber sold at the House of 
Whocks. A Chicago fetish fashion shop 
that deals exclusively in latex clothing, 
the House is online for your viewing and 
buying pleasure at www.whacks.com. In 
addition to showcasing rubber garb 
from top international manufacturers 
such as Skin Two, House of Whacks on- 
line also features the store's exclusive la- 
bel—House Wears. Designed by Cindy 
DeMarco, owner of HOW, the collection 
includes a sexy tank-and-skirt ensemble 
(pictured above) plus several other cus- 
tom-made mix-and-match items we 
are sure you'll love as much as she does, 
In case you need somewhere to go in 
your rubber, HOW online provides the 
heads-up on DeMarco's fetish bashes— 
attended by latex fanatics nationwide. 


DIGITAL DUDS 


See what's hoppening an Playboy's 
Home Page ot http://www.playboy.com. 33 


Ace Ventura: If you thought the 
movies were saphamoric, the Pet 
Detective an disc is even dumber. 


The Neverhood: Caol Claymation 
visuals don't make up for o plot 
and puzzles that are as exciting 
as, well, lumps of clay. 


WHERE & HOW TO BUY ON PAGE 162. 


34 


TRAVEL 


DIGITAL TRAVEL AGENTS 


The Internet has become an excellent resource for planning 
worldwide getavays. When we plugged the word travel into 
the Alta Vista search engine on the World Wide Web, it listed 
nearly 3 million related sites. To avoid surf hell, however, we 
suggest you either be specific when conducting research (type 
in "travel" plus an exact destination) or point your browser to 
a comprehensive travel site such as Travelocity (www.trave 
locity.com/), Microsoft's Expedia (expedia.msn.com/) or 
Pathfinder Travel (pathfinder.com). All offer excellent world- 
wide travel information, online reservation services and much 
more. Pathfinder, for example, includes a complete guide to 
golf resorts in the U.S., as well as Zagat's restaurant surveys, 
a link to Travel & Leisure online and a foreign-language trans- 
lator. There's also the Official Guide to the 

Phat Planet (streetsound.com/phatplaney), 

a hipster's travelog with details on 

dubbing, raves, street style 

and culture around the 
world. T@p Travel 
] (www.taponline.com/ 
tap/travel) is another 
Gen-X site. with atti- 
тшде, cool graph- 

ics and great tips 
from student 
explorers on a 
budget. If you 

like to vacation on the 
edge, the Outdoor 
Sports & Travel Di- 
rectory (www.ecotrav 
el.com) is a one-stop 
shop for adventure travelers, 

with info on eco excursions, exotic 
expeditions and sports-themed trips for hik- 
ers, bikers, climbers, etc. Dive Travel Express (www.divetrav 
el.com) will hook you up with the ideal underwater adven- 
ture; if you prefer to travel above sea level, Cruiseopinion 
(www.cruiseopinion.com) rates the various cruise lines—com- 


plete vith feedback from people who've been there, done that. 


NIGHT MOVES: NEW ORLEANS 


In New Orleans, where eating and drinking are around-the- 
clock pursuits, pacing is everything—especially during Mardi 
Gras, when indulgence is raised to a high art. Start your 
evening with a dozen oysters and an Abita beer standing upat 
Felix's Oyster Bar (729 Iberville). Amble over to the Napoleon 
House (500 Chartres)—perhaps the most civilized drinking 
environment in the U.S—for a preprandial Pimm’s Cup or 
gin fizz. Then it’s time to eat. In a city with hundreds of great 
places to dine, Bayona (430 Dauphine) is currently recog- 
nized as the best. Chef Susan Spicer prepares a terrific grilled 
duck breast. (Make your reservations immediately at 504-525- 
4455.) Ifyou can't get a table at Bayona, try NOLA (504-522- 
6652) at 534 St. Louis. Chef Emeril Lagasse's cedar-plank- 
roasted fish is excellent. After dinner, head east of the Quarter 
to the Faubourg Marigny, where you can catch a set at Café 
Brasil (2100 Chartres) or some jazz at Snug Harbor (626 
Frenchmen). If you're feeling adventurous, take a cab down- 
river to the bizarre Saturn Bar (3067 St. Claude). A good 
place to dance is Oz (800 Bourbon). (I here's no closing time 
at bars in the Crescent City.) Greet the dawn with black ham 
and grits at Mother's (401 Poydras) or beignets and café au 
lait at Café du Monde (800 Decatur). Then get some rest: Oys- 
ter poboys at Uglesich's (1238 Baronne) are only hours away. 


WHERE & HOW TO BUY ON PAGE 162. 


GREAT ESCAPE 
WELLCRAFT'S HIGH-PERFORMANCE BOOT CAMP 
Don Johnson made piloting a cigarette boat look easy on 
Miami Vice, his stellar steering helping him overtake or 
outrun the bad guys. Now you can make like Sonny 
Crockett (white suit optional) if you register for Wellcraft's 
High-Performance Powerboat Boot Camp, a hands-on 
school in which world-champion drivers and record- 
breaking racers teach you everything from boating basics 


to how to drive safely at top speeds. Some instruc- 

tion takes place indoors, but most of the time your class- 
room, a $155,000, 31-íoot Wellcraft Scarab, will be racing. 
across the water at 70 mph. The four-day course is held 
on Captiva Island, Florida, in eight sessions from April 
through October. The $5000 price includes tuition, meals 
anda hotel room. There's also a graduation gala, complete 
with diplomas. Call 800-755-1099 for more information. 


ROAD STUFF 


Willis & Geiger, the company that outfitted Teddy Roosevelt 
and Sir Edmund Hillary, has created its own version of the 
classic field jacket. W&G's Ranger Jacket is made of Italian wa- 
ter-resistant waxed cotton that's accented over the shoulders 
and at the elbows, cufis and pockets (even on the underflap) 
with supple leather. Add ten pockets, including a pouch in 
back (inset) and a nylon hood in the collar, and you have a 
versatile jacket that's ideal for a trek to Baffin Island or 

the corner bar. Price: $348 for. 
medium, large or extra large 
in buckskin (shown), loden 
ог claret. e Lovers of the 
weed who are headed 
for England should 
pack a copy of The 
Forest Guide to Smok- 
ing in London (about 
$15). Called “the 
world’s first travel 
guide for smok- 
ers,” it also of- 
fers insight on 
the city itself. 


Jeremiah Johnson Pat Garrett. Wyatt Earp, 


Own the badges 
that made 
them legends, 


As part of an unprecedented collection of 

12 authentic replicas of the very badges worn by 

the Wild West's greatest lawmen. Minted to perfection, 
Re-created in solid sterling silver and 24 karat gold. 


They were the legendary lawmen of the Old West, And the 
very mention of their names struck fear into the hearts 
of the West's most notorious outlaws. Wyatt Earp. Fred 
Lambert. Pat Garrett. 
Now. the badges they wore to bring law and order to 
the West are re-created for the first time in 
а landmark collection issued by the West- 
ern Heritage Museum, 
Twelve famous badges in all. Each one 
unique. MI based on extremely rare origi- 
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ished-until an exhaustive search was: 


ial Badges of the 


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undertaken to recover them. Each minted to perfection in 
solid sterling silver. And the legendary badge of Pat 
Garrett is even embellished with 24 karat gold electroplate. 
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installments for each, And a handsome display case, crafted of 
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as part of the collection. Specially imported: 


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The Official Badges of the Great Western Lawmen 


By DIGBY DIEHL 


THE AUDIOBOOK business continues то 
thrive, sometimes in unexpected plac- 
es. Publishers Weekly recently reported a 
boom in audio sales at truck stops that 
has boosted the industry in the past 12 
months. Truck drivers seem to enjoy sci- 
ence fiction, Westerns, mysteries and 
Rush Limbaugh. One company allows 
truckers to rent audios at one location 
and drop them off at locations farther 
along their routes. 

Whether you're in a rig or a BMW, 
one of the most provocative audios of 
the spring is the audiocassette abridge- 
ment of Arthur C. Clarke's imaginative 
conclusion to the 2001 series, 3001: The 
Final Odyssey (Random House). Frank 
Foole, executive officer of the spaceship 
Discovery—who had been cut loose in 


Audiobooks: Ear candy. 


space by the computer Hal in 2001—has 
been found in perfectly frozen condition 
and is resuscitated after one thousand 
years in that state. 

For a sneak preview—in print—see 
our fiction on page 66 

As Clarke brings to a close the saga he 
began in 1948 with a short story called 
The Sentinel (about the discovery of a 
small pyramid on the moon), he answers 
many questions that have intrigued 
readers since 1968, when both the book 
and movie 2001: A Space Odyssey ap- 
peared. Although Clarke has always 
been far more interested in the science 
than in the fiction, his portrait of Frank 
Poole and Poole's poignant quest to re- 
unite with Dave Bowman give this last of 
the series a sweet emotional power. 

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (Margari- 
taville Records; one 90-minute cassette 
or CD), by Hunter S. Thompson: Creat- 
ed in conjunction with Random House's 
Modern Library 25th anniversary edi- 
tion of the book, this dramatic reading 
of selected passages—with background 
music and sound effects—cranks up all 
of the drug-induced manic energy of the 
original, then adds more. Jim Jarmusch 
plays Duke, and Maury Chaykin plays 
Duke's attorney, Gonzo. Harry Dean 
Stanton narrates their hallucinogenic 
road trip to Las Vegas—ostensibly to 
cover the Mint 400 road race—in a phar- 
maceutically equipped red Cadillac con- 
vertible. The supporting cast includes 
Buck Henry, George Segal, Laraine New- 
man, Harry Shearer, Jann Wenner and 
Jimmy Buffeu. 

The Dilbert Principle: A Cubicle's Eye View 
of Bosses, Meetings, Management Fads & Oth- 
er Workplace Afflictions (Harper Audio; 
one 70-minute cassette), by Scott Adams: 
The hottest topic around water coolers 
in corporate America is the latest Dilbert 
cartoon and the uncanny way in which 


36 Adams appears to have overheard the 


Clarke's 3001, Dilbert's 
principle, Mickey’s mantle 
and Kerouac's poetry. 


dumb thing said in yesterday's closed- 
dovr conference. So you won't miss the 
visuals too much, this package includes 
six Dilbert cartoon strips. 

Return of rhe Jedi: The Original Radio Dra- 
ma (High Bridge; three hours on three 
cassettes or CDs), by Brian Daley: Pro- 
duced in association with Lucasfilm, 
Ltd., this NPR dramatization has a great 
cast—including John Lithgow, Ed Asner 
(as Jabba the Hutt) and Anthony Dan- 
iels (reprising his role as the original 
C-3P0)—and a John Williams score per- 
formed by the London Symphony Or- 
chestra. Since this completes the trilogy, 
you might as well get Siar Wars and The 
Empire Strikes Bach, too, and enjoy the 
full 15 hours in a slipcased 15-CD set. 

May It Please the Court... (Ihe New 
Press; tapes and transcripts of the most 
significant oral arguments made before 
the Supreme Court since 1955, on six 
90-minute cassettes slipcased with a pa- 
perback book): Listen to the passion with 
which Justice Hugo Black defends the 
First Amendment in the Court's 1971 
decision to protect the rights of The New 
York Times and The Washington Post to 
publish the Pentagon papers. Justices 
Thurgood Marshall, Earl Warren, Abe 
Fortas, Warren Burger, William Rehn- 
quist and Sandra Day O'Connor debate 
flag burning, capital punishment, inter- 
racial marriage, school prayer, child 
abuse and other issues in 23 key cases. 

A Hero All His Life: A Memoir by the Mantle 


Family (Harper Audio; three hours on 
two cassettes): These reminiscences of 
life with Mickey Mantle by his wife, Mer- 
lyn, and sons Mickey Jr., David and Dan 
Mantle provide warm anecdotes. Read 
by Travis Swords and Dorothy Schott, 
the uplifting stories of his last days are 
particularly poignant. 

Political Incorrections: The Best Opening 
Monologues From “Politically Incorrect With 
Bill Maher" (Simon & Schuster Audio; 
one 60-minute cassette): Maher lets it rip 
with nonpartisan venom every night on 
his TV show. Here's some of the funniest 
material from the past four seasons. It 
beats listening to the news. 

Above Top Secret: The Worldwide UFO Cov- 
er-up (Alternative Audio; two cassettes), 
by Timothy Good: With alien spaceships 
landing all around us, it's amazing that 
this international conspiracy to keep it 
quiet has been so effective, despite the 
occasional pesky leak in the tabloids. Vic- 
tor Talmadge brings the appropriate i 
dignant tone to his reading of this ex- 
posé, which has the blessing of Whitley 
Streiber. Skeptics can skip this one. 

Roce Rules: Navigating the Color Line (Au- 
dio Partners Publi: ; three hours on 
two cassettes), by Michael Eric Dyson: A. 
professor of communications studies at 
the University of North Carolina. Dyson 
argues that unspoken rules about racial 
relations control political power, social 
life and cultural events in America. In 
chapters such as O.J. Simpson and Our Tri- 
al by Fire and Why Black Men Should Light- 
en Up, the author uses his forceful voice 
to challenge your attitudes. 

Mexico City Blues, 242 Choruses (Shambha- 
la Lion Audio; two 90-minute cassettes), 
by Jack Kerouac: This collection of poet- 
ry by the leader of the Beat generation is 
chanted enthusiastically by his friend 
Allen Ginsberg, the real Beat poet. 

Sex for Dummies (Harper Audio; one 90- 
minute cassette), by Dr. Ruth West- 
heimer: When this little lady gets rolling 
on the topic of orgasms in her Dr. 
Strangelove accent, it's difficult to keep a 
straight face. But Dr. Ruth leaves no as- 
pect of carnal delights unexplored. The 
unintended humor may be the easy way 
out for explaining the facts oflife to kids 

The Burglar in the Closet (Blackstone Au- 
dio Books; six hours on four cassettes), 
by Lawrence Block: Bernie Rhodenbarr, 
antiquarian bookseller and comically in- 
ept burglar, is hired by his dentist to steal 
a few diamonds back from the dentist's 
soon-to-be ex-wife. It should be a piece 
of cake. Instead, the almost-ex gets mur- 
dered with a dental tool while Bernic is 
hiding in the closet. Now the diamonds 
are gone, and Bernie is on the lam. Read 
by Jeremy Gage. 


101995 Chivas Regal 12 Year Old Worldwide Blended Scotch Whisky 


40% Alcohol by Volume (80 proof) Chivas Bros. Import Co., Now York, NY 


You either have it 


Visit the Chivas Regal web site at 
http://www.careertoolbox.com 


or you don't 


Those who appreciate quality 
enjoy it responsibly 


HEALTH & FITNESS 


GAME FOR EMU? 


It's unlikely Wendy's or McDonald's will be serving emu bur- 
gersany time soon, but you'd be wise to consider tossing a few 
on your own grill. Why? Because emu, along with ostrich, is a 
healthful, tasty alternative to beef. A 3.5-ounce portion of emu 
has 1.7 grams of fat and 109 calories, compared with 15.6 
grams of fat and double the calories in a same-size serving of 
beef. Plus, emu is higher in protein and lower in cholesterol. 
"Game meats in general offer greater health benefits," says 
Richard Czimer, owner of Czimer's Game and Seafoods, a 
suburban Chicago grocery that specializes in 
exotic meats. 
Many of the more popular game 
meats—emu, ostrich, buffalo, 
elk—are not wild but farm- 
raised (and thus not endan- 
gered). "Theyre not shot 
up with chemicals," Czimer 
says, "and they cat rough- 
age rather than grain, 
making them natural- 
ly leaner.” 

So how do these 
meats taste? Not like 
chicken, we're happy 
to report, "but like a 
juicy steak that is less 
greasy and more tender," 
Czimer says. As with many 
^" low-fat options, game meats come 
at a premium. Emu costs about $12 a pound, ostrich burgers 
are about $9 a pound and a lion steak will set you back about 
$15 a pound. The good news: Prices of exotic meats are com- 
ing down as demand grows. 


HEART-RATE MONITORS 


Do yourself favor: Buy a heart monitor, a device that's in- 
expensive and tremendously useful. Why bother? Because 
cardiovascular fitness is achieved when you work out at a par- 
ticular intensity. That means pushing your heart rate into a 
target zone and keeping it there long enough to build 
strength and endurance. 

How to fgure your target heart rate? The old formula— 
subtract your age from 220; your zone is within 65 to 90 per- 
cent of that number—is impractical, says endurance athlete 
Sally Edwards, author of Heart Zone Training. Older athletes 
are told their maximum heart rate gets lower with age when, 
in fact, it drops with lifestyle changes. Plus, it's a mistake to fo- 
cus entirely on your target zone. Edwards’ system defines five 
zones, with benefits in each. 

Monitors are also a great way to keep track of stress. Wear 
one during the day and you'll learn a lot about yourself. The 
devices cost about $90. 


NURTURE YOUR INNER ATHLETE 


* Climb on a Treadwall, a continuous climbing wall at select 
health clubs. It's a great workout and loads of fun. 

e Click on Sports Doc at www.medfacts.com. It explains how 
to treat weekend-warrior injuries. Play intern or surgeon with 
an interactive anatomy game. 

* Read Why Michael Couldn't Hit, by Dr. Harold Klawans. It's a 
fascinating book on the neurology of sports. Learn how 
Tourette's syndrome actually helps pro basketball's Mahmoud 
Abdul-Rauf, why Parkinson's struck Muhammad Ali and the 

38 secret of Ben Hogan's magic. 


+ Train like a Navy Seal with the new Cutting Edge Total Body 

it book, by Mark De Lisle (a Seal, natch). Great info оп 
activities (such as swimming), diet and stretching. Order it for 
$23.50 postpaid at 800-281 -seaL. 


TAKE TWO GARLIC 
PILLS AND CALL ME IN 
THE MORNING 


HMOsare finally waking up to 
the potential of alternative medi- 
cine. While shark cartilage and 
bark implants still aren't cov- 
ered, chiropractic and acupunc- 
ture are fast gaining acceptance. 
So-called nontraditional cures 
for everything from allergies to 
depression to cancer are no 
longer lore from Lourdes. For 
information, start with the 
bible Alternative Medicine: The 
Definitive Guide. It's by Burton 
Goldberg, the 70-year-old 
roller-skating founder of Cali- 
fornia Pizza Kitchen, who is 
now a New Age medicine 
man. Buy the book and you 
get a bonus: Alternative Medicine 
Digest, a magazine filled with tes- 
timonials about intravenous vitamin C, ginseng roots and de- 
pression cured with selenium. A showman, Goldberg features 
a pro-alternative medicine celeb on each cover. Annie Potts 
claims Chinese herbs helped her conceive, Kelly LeBrock 
started her own homeopathy biz for kids, and Cloris Leach- 
man, a lifelong vegan, had her body painted with legumes. 
Fabio, who was contracted for a cover, was canned when it was 
discovered he went only to traditional doctors. In our book, 
that's a vote for the alternative guys. 


Leochmen: veggie point job 


DR. PLAYBOY 


Q: Im a recreational athlete and I wear glasses, which 
can be a real hassle. I've heard about an operation that 
fixes nearsightedness. Can you tell me about it? 

A: The preferred operation used to be radial keratono- 
my. Since it was introduced in the Eighties, RK has 
given many nearsighted people nor- 

mal vision. The primary drawback: 

The surgical technique, which flattens 

the cornea, left the weakened eyeball 

vulnerable to rupture. That's particularly 

bad for athletes. But science marches on. 

There's a newer procedure—take a breath, 

it's called photorefractive keratectomy—that 

reshapes the surface of the cornea without 
compromising the tissue underneath. ‘The 

big difference between RK and PRK is that 

the former is done with a scalpel and the latter 

uses a laser. PRK got FDA approval here in 

the fall of 1995. Expect a bigger expense 
($2000-plus per eye compared with $1000-plus 

for RK), and it isn't covered by health insur- 

ance. But for active types the choice is obvious. 

Check with an ophthalmologist to see if you're 

a candidate. 


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MEN 


M rs. O'Hara was a middle-aged 
crone who ran her classroom in 
one of Chicago's public schools like a 
warden. Boys seemed to be her special 
nemeses—especially a boy named Ace. 

Among the powers that Mrs. O'Hara 
appropriated was the right to appoint 
the person of her choice to the school's 
student council—an elective position in 
all the other classrooms. Mrs. O'Hara's 
representative had only one momentous 
responsibility —namely, to leave school, 
fetch a milk shake from a nearby drug- 
store and bring it back to room 301 at 
precisely ten o'dock cach morning. 

At the beginning of sixth grade, the 
milk shake run became my job. I did not 
mind the chore, because it meant that I 
was a free man for 15 or 20 minutes. 
However, why Mrs. O'Hara chose me— 


By ASA BABER 


the student she most loved to scold—for 
the honor is not completely clear. 

I was a wiseass kid from 47th Street, 
and that might have had something to 
do with it. I lived on the unfashionable 
edge of the school district, and it was un- 
derstood that in my territory you need- 
ed some street smarts to survive. The 
pragmatic Mrs, O'Hara was probably 
betting that 1 would not get mugged and 
lose her money on my journey to and 
from the drugstore. She was also betting 
that I would not be shocked to see her 
open her desk drawer and pour a big hit 
of scotch into her milk shake while I 
shielded her from my classmates’ view. 
Which is what I was doing when I first. 
saw the incredible Maria Philson. 

As I stood guard in front of the scotch- 
slurping Mrs. O'Hara one morning, the 
door opened and in walked a young 
woman of unquestionable loveliness. She 
was wearing a short black skirt and a 
white sweater, and 1 was awed. She had a 
china-doll face and an outstanding body, 
and she moved as if she were dancing to 
her own music. She smiled at me as she 
handed Mrs. O'Hara a note. 

I, of course, got an immediate erection 
that threatened to break the zipper on 
my Levi's. Leaning over as if I had an at- 
tack of dysentery, I went back to my seat 
as quickly as I could. 

Mrs. O'Hara, her milk shake ritual in- 
terrupted, glared at me as if I had just 
deserted her in combat. “Ace,” she 
yelled, “what are you doing? This is 
Maria Philson. Show her to the desk be- 
hind you, young man. You are our stu- 


40 dent council representative, and that is 


SEX IN THE 
AFTERNOON 


one of your jobs!" 

I stood up slowly, both confused and 
embarrassed, holding a notebook over 
my crotch. And then it happened, a mo- 
ment of surrender, that time when the 
male of the species gawks like a love- 
struck loon as the female assumes a pow- 
er that leaves him helpless. 

Maria Philson, without waiting for me 
to do anything, looked straight at me as 
she walked down the aisle. She gave me 
a mocking smile as she sauntered by, let- 
ting me feel her breasts brush against my 
arm, letting me smell her perfume and 
gaze at her lips. The back of her hand 
gave my notebook a gentle tap—two taps 
and I would have exploded—and her 
expression said, “Hi, Ace. I'm a fox. 
Want to play sometime?” 

Maria sat down behind me. Blushing, 
my voice cracking, I said something real- 
ly stupid like, “Welcome to our class- 
room.” Maria smiled and pulled her 
sweater tightly across her chest. She 
looked at me with full heat one more 
time and shifted in her seat. 

"That afternoon, Mrs. O'Hara kept me 
after class. "You stay away from Maria," 
she said. "She's no good for you. She'll 
get you into trouble." 

“Yes, ma'am,” I said, but then I started 
to laugh at the images that were dancing 
through my mind. 

"What's so funny, Ace?" Mrs. O'Hara 


shouted, trembling with anger. 

"Nothing," I said with a smile. 

"You think I’m joking? Well, try this, 
buster. You are hereby off the student 
council," she said. 

I smiled again. “Don't you have to take 
a vote?" I asked. 

Mrs. O'Hara, skinny but fierce, hauled 
off and slapped me hard in the face for 
my impertinence. “Get out of here!" she 
shrieked. I left the room, still laughing. 

1 soon discovered that Maria also lived 
on 47th Street, in a large tenement only 
three buildings from mine. It was a 
rough place with garbage in the halls 
and junkies on the front stoop, but I 
didn't care. Maria's mother was rarely 
home and her father had disappeared 
years before. Her knowledge of sex and 
the human body was much more ad- 
vanced than mine. She was ready to 
teach me whatever 1 wanted to lcarn, 
and I was an eager student. 

We all remember our first timc, and I 
can replay mine in detail. It was in the 
afternoon, and we were mostly clothed. 
After a lot of necking, Maria pushed me 
onto my back, straddled my hips and 
guided me into her. I did not last long, 
but luckily, I had the common sense to 
pull out before ] came. When I did, the 
expression on Maria's face as she stroked 
me and watched my semen fly was that 
of a contented milkmaid. 

She was a year older than I. She spoke 
with a slight lisp, and her luminous skin 
and features revealed her heritage, a 
combination of Asian, Latino and Afri- 
can American bloodlines. She was a wild 
child of unearthly beauty, a young wom- 
an who ended up as a dancer in Las Ve- 
gas (and who died in that city at the age 
0f 35 in a car crash). 

I got my revenge on Mrs. O'Hara by 
throwing her scotch bottle out of our 
classroom window one morning. She 
walked back into the room as her milk 
shake was being delivered by the next 
appointed sucker, and as she reached in- 
to her desk for her bottle, she realized 
that her ten a.m. fix had been stolen. She 
assumed that I was the culprit, and she 
scowled at me with a special fury. 

I pretended to be studying, but I 
know I blushed. And Maria, bless her 
delinquent heart, rebellious mind and 
scrumptious body, laughed out loud. 


FILTERS. 


KEEP IT BASIC 


SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Quitting Smoking 


Now Greatly Reduces Serious Risks to Your Health. 


© Philip Morris Inc. 1996 
16 mg "tar; 1.0 mg nicotine av. per cigarette by FTC method. 


WOMEN 


was driving along Wilshire Bou- 

levard, decided to make an un- 
planned stop for pet food and called my 
husband from the car phone. 

"Bunny," he said too kindly (he calls 
me Bunny because I have long, twitching 
lapin ears and wear fishnet stockings), 
“you should come home right away.” 

“Whats wrong?" I asked, panicked. 
"Is Brodie OK? Are the dogs OK?" 

“They're all fine. Just come right 
home." 

I made a screeching U-turn. 

Years ago, when 1 had an abortive flir- 
tation with acting, we were taught to cry 
in dass. Whenever I had to pull forth a 
memory of past sadness, I thought of my 
dad. His big blue eyes that regarded my 
mother, my sister and me with a deep 
confusion; eyes that said, "How the hell 
did I get here?" 

My father was born in Russia. Being 
Jewish, his family was soon fleeing for 
their lives. A boatload of people rowed 
silently away from Mama Russia and the 
pogrom when my one-and-a-half-year- 
old future dad started screaming. They 
were about to throw him overboard 
when his mother shoved her breast into 
his mouth and shut him up. 

He was with the RAF during the war, a 
captain in military intelligence, fought in 
Germany and France. A little Jewish boy, 
hardly out of diapers, learning to use 
machinc guns, fighting Nazis. 

My dad wanted to be a photographer, 
he wanted to be a musician. He was a 
pharmacist. He sold drugs for a huge 
pharmaceutical company. He worked, 
worked, fathered a child, smoked, saved 
for a bigger house, worked. bought a 
nice car, worked, learned bridge, fa- 
thered another child, bought a sports 
car, worked, played duplicate bridge, 
quit smoking, bought a big house, cele- 
brated New Year's Eves with suburban 
bacchanals, swelled up from an allergy to 
penicillin, flew off to sales meetings, 
called his wife and daughters by one an- 
other's names, flipped out when those 
daughters became adolescents, bought 
increasingly fancy sports cars and 
worked until they retired him. 

"What? What!?" I hissed, rushing into 
the house. 

"That was your mother on the phone, 
honey,” Mr. Husband said. “Your dad has 
pneumonia. He's not doing too well." 

Once a piece of concrete ceiling in an 


42 old London house fell on my head. My 


By CYNTHIA HEIMEL 


immediate reaction was to whirl around, 
fists ready to smash whatever had hit 
me. This vas the emotional equivalent. 

My husband ducked. 1 swung in cir- 
cles. Kicked things. Burst into tears. 
Then I called the hospital. They were 
pumping antibiotics into Daddy. The 
next 48 hours would tell the story. 

My parents divorced when my sister 
left home and there was no one left to 
deflect their screaming at each other. My 
father dated a new woman every month, 
and each of them wanted to be my new 
mom. Imagine how much fun that was. 
Eventually he married a Holocaust sur- 
vivor 20 years his junior. This woman 
had a rather ashy soul. 

My mother floundered, as women 
whose lives are dedicated only to looking 
after husbands and children are wont to 
do. She went into several fabulous de- 
clines and had periodic hissy fits as my 
father fitted to four-star European ho- 
tels with the new missus. 

But after a few ycars of marriage his 
mind started stumbling. His blue eyes 
became clouded with a confusion be- 
yond the norm for a man who wonders 
why he's dedicated his entire life to be- 
ing a corporate cog. When his new wife 
noticed my father's mind fading. she 
split. Just abandoned him, fucking cunt. 

He hid it for as long as he could. He 
didn't want to trouble us. It went against 


every fiber of his soul to show helpless- 
ness: He was the person who had to be in 
control, who was the caregiver, not the 
care-needer. But one day—who knows 
what happened?—he simply turned up 
on my mother's doorstep. Fifteen years 
after their divorce they remarried. My 
mother cared for him until it was impos- 
sible, then battled until she won him a 
place in the country’s best Veterans Ad- 
ministration hospital, in Pennsylvania. 
“I don't know whether I should go,” 
my mother, who lives near my sister in 
San Diego, told me on the phone. “Your 
sister says I shouldn't." 
"Thats right,” said my sister, “he 
won't know she’s there.” 
"Don't listen to her,” I told my mother. 
"This is your husband. This is the man 


< you dedicated your life to, silly prune. 


You drive up here to Los Angeles, we'll 
go together. Maybe he'll know we're 
there. Stop crying. Pull yourself togeth- 
er. He might be OK." 

Acting school. Recall a sense memory 
of when you were serene. I called the 
airlines, waited by the phone in case the 
hospital called. 

When 1 had last seen my father he was 
skinny and pop-eyed and agitated. All 
his sentences trailed into gibberish. His 
nurses hugged and kissed him and treat- 
ed him like a puppy, which he loved. I 
fed him with a spoon and he opened his 
mouth like a little bird. 

Early that evening the call came. 

“Tm sorry,” said the doctor. “Your fa- 
ther just . . . he just... uh...” 

“Is my father dead?" I whispered. 

“Your father died, just now," said the 
doctor. 

Mother had the body flown out to San 
Diego. I found the sweetest of rabbis, My 
daddy is buried on a beautiful hill in the 
Jewish cemetery. I threw the first shovel- 
ful of dirt into the grave. Mother was 
given an American flag at the funeral, to 
honor her husband, the war hero. She 
bought a burial plot next to him. 

When 1 was little, my father sang me 
Mairzy Doats. He patiently held my head 
when a stomach virus made me vomit all 
night. He bought me a puppy for my 
ninth birthday. He sewed button eyes 
on my teddy bear when its other eyes 
fell off. 

And he died alone. I can't stand it. I 
can't understand it. 


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About two months ago my girlfriend 
persuaded me to let one of her friends 
move in with us while she worked out 
some financial problems. It wasn't so bad 
at first, but after a month we were all in 
one another's way. 1 think they sensed 
my irritation, because a week ago 1 came 
home to find them cooking a huge din- 
ner for me. They watched me eat and 
then led me by the hand into the bed- 
room. My girlfriend started undressing 
me while her friend sat on the edge 
of the bed and watched. After 1 was 
stripped down to my boxers, my girl- 
friend told me to lie down on the bed, 
and she kissed my neck and face. Her 
friend then began to massage my feet 
and legs and told me how much she ap- 
preciated being able to stay in our apart- 
ment. I sensed what was coming but 
could hardly believe it. While her friend 
(our friend?) tickled my balls through 
my shorts, my girlfriend took out my 
cock and began giving me head. When I 
was good and aroused, she mounted me. 
It felt incredible, especially since her 
friend toyed with my balls the entire 
time. She also teased me by licking her 
lips and winking at me while kissing my 
girlfriend’s back. It was quite an experi- 
ence. Two days later my girlfriend went 
to the store and left her friend and me 
alone. I couldn't help but feel awkward 
because I wanted to have sex with her. 
How do I imply something like that but 
leave room to back away if it doesn't sit 
well?—S.B., Indianapolis, Indiana 

There's no reason to be shy with a woman 
who has tickled your balls. However, the best 
way to broach the subject is when your girl- 
friend is present. Say something like, “I en- 
joyed that special meal the other night, but 
I'm not sure I did my fair share.” If they're 
agreeable to another round, cook them a lav- 
ish dinner and then play slave to their mas- 
ters. It's hard to believe that a woman who 
asks a friend to help fuck you doesn’t have a 
generous spirit. If your new roommate again 
plays backup, your girlfriend has probably 
made it clear you're off-limits. Whether you 
want to be limited is another matter. 


How does one secure a patent? I've in- 
vented a condom design and want to 
safeguard it—L.B., Fort Wayne, Indiana 

Protection for your protection? Join the 
club. As Hoag Levins notes in his entertain- 
ing book “American Sex Machines: The Hid- 
den History of Sex at the U.S. Patent 
Office,” at least 47 patents have been award- 
ed since 1941 for condom designs, including 
those that play music through a computer 
chip, are coated with lubricant inside and 
out or have “flavor delivery systems.” There 
are another dozen patents on file for “con 
dom garments” (such as a sex apron with 
built-in condoms) and 23 for accessories 


such as “installation rings” or men’s under- 
wear with condom pockets. The markets in 
sex furniture, specialty bras, penile splints, 
coital harnesses and antimasturbation de- 
vices remain largely untapped. For more in- 
formation, contact the U.S. Patent Office 
(800 786 9199) or pick up David Press- 
man’s “Patent It Yourself,” published by No- 
lo Press. 


Ё enjoy your column and would like to 
respond to the letter in November from 
the woman whose multiorgasmic hus- 
band is wearing her down. I too have a 
man with an enormous sex drive. I rec- 
ommend she start using artificial vaginal 
lubricants such as Astroglide or Probe or 
any of dozens of others. Next, I urge her 
not to be hesitant about requesting re- 
cesses or cuddle breaks. If her man is 
like mine he loves to please and should 
be given an opportunity to do so outside 
the bedroom. I appreciate my over- 
sexed, cuddly, masculine man because 
he has come to understand how much I 
love sex, and how often, but that some- 
times a break is in order. Our social life, 
gourmet dinners, massages and a host of 
other sybaritic pleasures have their place, 
too. I also suggest prolonged kissing as a 
means to reassure him of her affection 
when they are not making love. Once 
her husband learns to appreciate other 
means of sharing affection, she may find 
she enjoys the occasional marathon. In 
short, a man with spirit and stamina 
should not be broken; he should simply 
have his energies rechanneled. Perhaps 
he needs a hobby?—L.C., New York, 
New York 

Thanks for writing—we always enjoy 
hearing about couples who have found a way 


ILLUSTRATION EY ISTVAN BANYAL 


to balance their desires. Now, don't you have 
to be somewhere? 


[азага trendy nightspot in Knoxville 
when an attractive young woman hand- 
ed me a slip of paper. She asked if 1 
would mind taking a pop quiz. On the 
paper was written: "Mark the statement 
you think is most likely. (A) I am wearing 
bikini pantics. (B) I am wcaring a thong 
panty. (C) I am wearing no panties." Be- 
ing a conservative Republican, I marked 
A and turned in my quiz with a smile. 
She graded my paper and gave me an F 
We introduced ourselves and enjoyed 
each other's company for several hours. 
She was a student at the University of 
Tennessee and said this pop quiz had 
originated at a sorority there. She said 
the only rule is that there are no rules. 
Have you heard of this?—J-H., Morris- 
town, Tennessee 

We've taken that quiz a few times, but on- 
ly after we knew the answer. 


Some time ago I took a job with a com- 
pany that has a dress code of "business 
casual." For that reason, my expensive, 
all-wool business suits spend more time 
in the closet than they ever have before. 
The jackets have begun to lose their 
shape, presumably from all the down- 
time on the bangers. Is there something 
I can do to correct or prevent this? What 
about general maintenance tips for suits 
that are in the closet more than they're 
on me?—W.K., Omaha, Nebraska 

You need stronger hangers. Thin hangers 
(especially those made of wire) allow the 
shoulder pads to shift, giving your suits that 
wilted look even when they're not in the clos- 
et for a season. For those that have already 
sagged, ask your lailor or retailer to replace 
or press the pads. As for storage, have your 
suits cleaned before putting them away, and 
don't leave them inside Ihe retailer's garment 
bag, which can trap moisture and create 
wrinkles. Instead, cut the bag so that only the 
shoulders are covered. Also, make certain 
the suit is stored with a solid froni; that is, 
the panels should overlap slightly so that the 
button holes line up with the buttons. 


IM, husband and I have had wonder- 
ful, sensual, romantic lovemaking since 
we were married three years ago. He 
loves to have intercourse doggy style, 
but the only way I can climax in that po- 
sition is with thc help of a vibrator. This 
seems to intimidate my husband. He 
tells me none of his other partners need- 
ed stimulation that way. Please assure 
him that many women need assistance in 
that position.—K.R., Tampa, Florida 
Consider it done. Because the penis 
doesn't always make contact with the clitoris, 


45 


PLAYBOY 


46 


many women use vibrators to enhance their 
arousal. The next time you have sex doggy 
style, ask your husband io reach around and 
play with your clitoris. Or hand him the vi- 
brator. Or use the vibrator on him (try apply- 
ing it gently under his balls) so they can get 
1o know each other better. 


Û inherited a collection of briar pipes, 
but it's been years since any ofthem have 
been used. How can I restore the finish, 
disinfect the mouthpieces and fix the 
tooth marks and the internals?—F.B., 
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 

That's a tall order. First, carefully ream 
out the cake in the bowl to the thickness of a 
nickel. Fill the bowl with kosher salt, then 
add tuo or three drops of grain alcohol. Af- 
ter Ihe pipe bowl has soaked overnight, clean 
it thoroughly with alcohol-socked swab and 
bristle cleaners to remove all the salt. Also 
use alcohol-soaked pipe cleaners to reach the 
interior of the rubber bit; buff the exterior by 
hand with nongel toothpaste. Rinse with 
water and dry thoroughly. After you've reas- 
sembled the pipe, run a nonbristle cleaner 
through it, then rach it for a few days with 
the bowl down. If the teeth marks aren't too 
deep, try buffing them out with tripoli and a 
one-inch felt wheel. Better yet, leave that job 
to a tobacco shop. For more information, 
check out Richard Carleton Hacker's "Ulti- 
mate Pipe Book” or visit “Pipes Digest” on- 
line at www,pipes.org. 


In December a reader asked about a 
Marine crease. Although I'm in the 
Navy, I believe the Marine you consulted 
was misquoted. There are two creases in 
front of the shirt and three in back, not 
the other way around. And although the 
Marine's creases may be a lot sharper 
than anything the Army has, the Ma- 
rines should know their creases are like 
butter knives compared with the razors 
the Navy makes.—].N., Atsugi, Japan 

Qur mistake, not his. We were exhausted 
after a long workout with Ihe Playmate drill 
team. As to which branch has the sharpest 
creases, we've adopted a "don't ask, don't 
tell” policy. More advice follows. 


Dia that Marine you spoke with men- 
tion “blouse jobs,” also known as BJs? 
Before inspection, a fellow Marine 
stands behind you and pulls your shirt 
sharply to the rear. As he lifts your 
trousers oyer and against the small of 
your back, you gather the extra material 
of your shirt and fasten your trousers. 
The result is a smooth, aligned uniform 
from head to toc, front and back —W.L., 
Baltimore, Maryland 


Because wax can bleed through the 
material and stain it, my ex-Marine 
boyfriend used pure, undiluted liquid 
starch on his creases. Also, have you no- 
ticed how drill instructors never seem to 
sweat? They use starch on the inside of 
their clothes. And here’s another tip: 


When you shine your boots, touch a 
lighted match to the shoe-polish can— 
the polish liquefies and is easier to apply. 
When it dries on the boots, it will expand 
again, so don't cake it on.—M.L., Grand 
Rapids, Michigan 


В, now you've probably heard from 
hundreds of service members in re- 
sponse to the error in your December 
column. Despite this lapse, PLAYBOY still 
passes inspection with me.—Sgt. B.E. 
"Thomas, U.S. Marine Corps, Camp Pen- 
dleton, California 

Thanks for the encouragement, Sarge. Are 
you going soft on us? 


How many calories does a guy burn by 
just sitting around? I work out and run 
but don't feel like I'm getting anywhere. 
Is it because exercise makes me hungri- 
cr, which makes me eat more?—K.E., 
Providence, Rhode Island 

A heartier appetite is a natural by-produet 
of regular exercise, but ycu may need to ad- 
Just your diet, Fast food and between-meal 
‘snacks can do you in, as will eating after you 
feel full. We'll assume you weigh around 175 
pounds. At that weight, playing basketball or 
racquetball for ten minutes burns about 105 
calories, walking burns about 61 calories 
and standing burns 28 calories. Watching 
television or reading for ten minutes burns 
14 calories, as does taking a nap. Sex, as it 
goes, burns about 17 calories. 


IM, husband and 1 have been married 
for almost two years. The first 18 months 
we had sex at least once a day, if not 
more. But the past two months Гуе been 
lucky if we've had sex once every two 
weeks. He always asks me to perform 
oral sex on him, but when I try to go fur- 
ther or when 1 ask him to perform oral 
sex on me, he is always tired or busy. I 
have asked him if I don't turn him on 
anymore, but he insists I do. I enjoy giv- 
ing him head, but he makes no effort to 
satisfy me. Isthere something the matter 
with him?—D.C., Las Vegas, Nevada 

There may be. He could be depressed or 
stressed out for some reason. But since he 
hasn't lost interest in having his sexual needs 
met—only in meeting yours —he comes off as 
a selfish bastard. You aren't having sex wilh 
your husband, you're servicing him, and 
that's not the sign of a healthy relationship. 
We'd blow off the blow jobs and find a coun- 
selor who can help sort things cut. 


Whenever 1 shoot video, the sound is 
awful. Do you have any suggestionse— 
S.T., Dallas, Texas 

Sound is the most neglected aspect of most 
home videos. First, check the range of your 
mike by having someone sit in a chair and 
read aloud as ycu back away and record at 
three-foot intervals. When shooting indoors, 
avoid corners, corridors, windows or any 
other spots that might create echoes. In the 
same way, carpels and curtains deaden 


sound. The most common problem outdoors 
is wind. Use a foam windshield or shield 
yourself behind a tree or wall. And to reduce 
background noise such as traffic, consider 
a directional mike (most camcorders are 
equipped with omnidirectional mikes). 


V would like to share something that has 
given me a lot of pleasure during my 13 
years of marriage. My wife and 1 lie on 
our stomachs next to each other. I throw 
my leg over her, positioning my balls in 
her upturned hand. When she wiggles 
her fingers, I experience what we call a 
ball rub—it's the most relaxing (and 
sometimes exciting) sensation I know. 
Please enjoy.—G.D., Charlotte, North 
Carolina 
We did. It can be just as relaxing or stim- 
ulating for a woman to have a man cup his 
hand over her vagina and gently move his 
fingers, so be sure lo switch positions. 


Can the Advisor suggest any adult 
films that won't be a waste of time? I pre- 
fer erotica to pornography, and I am in- 
terested in criteria such as quality and 
beauty rather than revenues.—M.F., An- 
napolis, Maryland 

Is a movie erotic if it turns you on but 
pornographic if it turns someone else on? We 
consider just about everything erotic on some 
level, so it's hard to offer a surefire list. But 
we can point you in ihe right direction. We 
asked Richard Freeman, who edils a month- 
Ly newsletter about porn films called "Batter- 
ies Not Included” ($3 from 130 W. Lime- 
stone St., Yellow Springs, Ohio 45387), for 
films that seem to have wide appeal. He sug- 
gests, in no particular order, “Chameleons: 
Not the Sequel," “The Opening of Misty 
Beethoven," “Face Dance,” "New Wave 
Hookers,” “Justine: Nothing to Hide 2,” 
“American Babylon,” “Neon Nights,” "Un- 
natural Phenomenon,” “800 Fantasy Lane” 
and “Latex.” “These ten may nol be the best 
ever made,” he says, "but I can watch any of 
them and feel Гое found my sexual center.” 
PLAYBOY'S “Video” page editor would add 
two films to the list, "Night Trips" and 
"House of Dreams," both directed by Andrew. 
Blake. We know what we're doing this week- 
end—how about you? 


All reasonable questions—from fashion, food 
and drink, stereo and sports cars to dating 
dilemmas, taste and etiquette—unll be per- 
sonally answered if the writer includes a self- 
addressed, stamped envelope. The most 
provocative, pertinent questions will be pre- 
sented in these pages each month, Send all 
letters to the Playboy Advisor, PLAYBOY, 680 
North Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, Illinois 
60611. Look for responses to our most fre- 
quently asked questions on the World Wide 
Web at www.playboy.com or check out the 
Advisor's latest book, “365 Ways to Improve 
Your Sex Life” (Plume), available in book- 
stores or by phoning 800-423-9494. 


It’s a guys’ thing. 


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Now Greatly Reduces Serious Risks to Your Health. 


THE PLAYBOY FORUM 


DD] Cry RAPE LL II 


brown university strikes again 


No one thinks Adam Lack is lying. 
Not even the woman who charged he 
raped her What follows is his ac- 
count, as described in the Chronicle of 
Higher Education and the Brown Daily 
Herald: 

In February 1996, Lack, then a ju- 
nior at Brown University, had been 
serving drinks at a party. He ven- 
tured into a friend's room to find 
some music and discovered a woman 
lying on the bed—cither sleeping or 
passed out. He roused her easily and 
suggested she recoup in his room. 

Lack offered her a glass of water 
and said she could crash on his bed. 
She lay down fully clothed, and so did 
he. Lack says he kept his back to the 
woman, until he felt her kiss him. He 
returned the favor. Her kisses 
led to caresses, and Lack re- 
turned those, too. The woman 
took off her clothes and pru- 
dently asked if Lack had a con- 
dom. He got one. Some peo- 
ple—those who don't know 
better—might call what hap- 
pened next safe sex. 

According to Lack, the 
woman then asked if there 
were anything else she could 
do, saying she wanted him to 
feel like he had never felt be- 
fore. He suggested oral sex 
and she obliged. Then they 
talked, and talked and talked, 
until the early morning. She 
told him a secret. When she 
woke up, she gave him her 
phone number and asked him 
to call. 

Lack hoped to see her again, but 
his first couple of calls went unan- 
swered. When they finally spoke, the 
woman said she remembered noth- 
ing about their encounter except 
waking up in his bed. Dumbstruck, 
Lack detailed their brief romance, in- 
cluding the balls-to-the-wall sex, the 
blow job and the intimacy. 

Honesty, it seems, is not the best 
policy. In a complaint to the universi- 
ty disciplinary panel, the woman 
wrote: “I got the distinct impression 
that he had no idea he had done any- 
thing wrong—that what he had done 
was in fact rape.” 


By TED C. FISHMAN 


How did this encounter become 
rape? 

A few years ago, feminists at Brown 
wrote on bathroom walls the names 
ofalleged student rapists; the only ev- 
idence of a proclivity to rape was the 
possession ofa penis, It should there- 
fore come as no surprise that Brown 
developed a novel definition of rape. 
Campus policy forbids sexual contact 
resulting from “advantage gained by 
the offended student’s mental or 
physical incapacity or impairment of 
which the offending student was 
aware or should have been aware.” 

Never mind the woman's alleged 
take-charge loveplay, or the couple's 
candid talk into the night, or that she 
apparently extended her friendship 


in the morning. Never mind that con- 
sent was Lack’s to give, not hers. Ac- 
cording to Lack, the woman initiated 
sex. Twice. It's hard to imagine a 
more credible sexual partner than 
someone who suggests the deed. Not 
good enough. There were signs the 
woman had thrown up before being 
roused by Lack. Were the woman of 
sound and sober mind, Lack’s judges 
reasoned, she might not have offered 
a kiss, or removed her clothes. 

Put yourself in Lack's position: He 
could not tell that his partner had ap- 
parently downed ten shots of alcohol 
before arriving at the fraternity. Per- 


haps every female student at Brown 
should be issued a T-shirt that, sensi- 
tive to her blood alcohol level or 
short-term memory loss, would 
change from LIBERATED WOMAN to CAU- 
TION: CRIME SCENE. 

One student at Brown wondered 
how Lack should have measured his 
partner’s presence of mind—with 
a Breathalyzer? Pardon me, would 
you blow into this before you suck 
on that? 

Lack told the disciplinary panel 
that nothing about the woman's be- 
havior led him to think she was i 
paired. With no instruments of sci- 
ence at hand, Lack relied on what he 
knew about human nature, and to 
him the woman just seemed, well, 

friendly. 

Unfortunately, the philoso- 
phy at Brown seems to suggest 
that no woman in possession of 
her full faculties would ever 
desire contact with a mere 
man. Toby Simon, Brown's as- 
sociate dean of student life and 
one of Lack's harshest judges, 
actually offers a workshop 
called Sex for One that teaches 
campus women to masturbate. 
Simon tells women they can 
pleasure themselves up to 
eight times a day, as long as it. 
doesn't get in the way of their 
schoolwork. 

Brown offered the woman 
peer and professional counsel- 
ing, including a faculty advo- 
cate to make her case at the 

== hearing. The school told Lack 
he could get a lawyer at his own ex- 
pense but advised that the extra help 
might hurt his casc. 

The disciplinary panel, made up of 
three students and three professors, 
found Lack guilty cf "sexual miscon- 
duct" for "nonconsensual physical 
contact of a sexual nature." The 
school put him on probation for two 
semesters. It also recommended 
counseling about the effects of alcohol 
and sexual responsibility, something 
the woman who had ten shots of 
booze before the frat party was spared. 

Welcome to Brown—a leader in 
re-education. 


49 


reflections on 15 years of AIDS panic 


Susie Bright, co-author of "Nothing but 
the Girl,” author of "Susie Bright's Sexual 
Reality: A Virtual Sex World Reader" and 
editor of "The Best American Erotica" and 
the "Herotica" series, is a one-woman sex. 
industry. 

Two years ago she settled in to write an 
overview of American sexual politics. "Susie 
Bright's Sexual State of the Union,” due out 
from Simon & Schuster, is an irreverent look 
at everything from online sex to yuppie porn. 

The book targets a few uncomfortable 
truths. In her introduction Bright writes: 
“Lust brings out the liar in everyone. Dis- 
ease, in particular the specter of AIDS, is 
a virtual geyser of opportunities for people 
to make moral conclusions 
out of ignorance.” 

Nowhere 1s the nation’s 
dishonesty more apparent 
than in the panic that 
shadows the AIDS epidem- 
ic. Here is Bright's report. 


We are approaching 
the decline of the AIDS 
panic. The panic is not 
anything like the AIDS epidemic itself, 
which is still unfolding. When AIDS 
first came on the scene, people became 
apoplectic about French kissing. Nowa- 
days, people dismiss the “relative risks” 
of performing fellatio. When someone 
discovers that he or she is HIV-posi- 
tive, a funeral is no longer planned on 
the spot, as we expect that person to 
live many years. The notion that the 
virus is some kind of special punish- 
ment for sexual orientation is receding. 
The initial panic has broken into many 
smaller, but no less fearful, panics, For 
example, the belief that AIDS is a con- 
spiracy against minorities—black, 
Latin, Native American, queer—con- 
tinues to be on the upswing. Consider- 
ing the political conditions for minori- 
ties or the xenophobic backlash against. 
immigrants, it’s no wonder that people 
who live in a ghetto of racism or sexual 


AS 
а ¡CONCLUSIONS OUI 


By SUSIE BRIGHT 


intolerance think twice about the ori- 
gins of the virus. 

The other enduring panic about 
AIDS is the idea of retribution for sex- 
ual excess. AIDS is, mysteriously, con- 
sidered a disease for two groups of 
people: the innocent children infected 
by a bad blood transfer—and sex mani- 
acs. You either get it because you are 
the unsuspecting victim of the sex ma- 
niacs' irresponsibility, or you fucked 
your way into it. The collective lie is 
that you don’t get AIDS from having a 
normal sex history. You have to have an 
erotic cast of thousands. 

The AIDS panic surrounding prom- 


UST BRINGS OUT THE LIAR IN EVERYONE 


DIE] 


LETS PEOPLE MAK 


iscuity reflects our traditional fears 
about sexual gluttony. We're particu- 
larly uneasy watching our boundaries 
being erased and replaced like a res- 
taurant menu instead of a tablet of 
commandments. 

1 don't know what it is about the iso- 
lation of the mainstream media, but T 
still see the biggest bozos dominate the 
public discussion about AIDS preven- 
tion and STD transmission. 

Last year the press reported that an- 
other famous athlete—and there are 
dozens of them now—boxer Tommy 
Morrison, had tested positive for HIV. 
He immediately withdrew from fur- 
ther matches. Kansas City Slar sports 
columnist Jason Whitlock was over- 
come with alarm and despair over this 
turn of events and wrote a front-page 
editorial that was reprinted even in my 
small-town California newspaper. 


MONA 
IGNORANO Di 


Whitlock seemed to believe Tommy's 
troubles were inevitable because, after 
all, Morrison had a reputation as a 
ladies' man, an insatiable girl-chaser. 
The columnist felt it was time to talk to 
our children and tell them that screw- 
ing around is not what it means to be a 
man, to be a grown-up. 

What any of this hand-wringing had 
to do with AIDS is beyond me. Morri- 
son could have fucked 30 women, or 
ten or three, but had he been unfortu- 
nate enough to have high-risk sex with 
one positive woman—particularly if he 
had sex with this same woman more 
than once—then he could have been 
infected. All the mo- 
nogamy in the world 
couldn't have saved 
him after that. Morri- 
son isn't seropositive 
because he was a slut. 
He is positive because 
he wasinfected in a sex- 
ual or blood-sharing 
encounter, and no 
sportswriter actually 
knows anything more 
about the situation than this. 

If Morrison had sex with many part- 
ners, for instance, but habitually used 
condoms for intercourse—or had oth- 
er kinds of sex that avoided the sharing 
of semen or blood—then he wouldn't 
have been so safe as a complete celi- 
bate, but his risk for HIV would bave 
been minuscule. He would certainly be 
at lower risk than a man who had few- 
er partners but chancier sexual behav- 
ior. But that kind of truth does not a 
panic make. 

Perhaps foretelling the end of irra- 
tional fear, Tornmy Morrison has re- 
turned to the ring. 


THE VIRUS AS SCREEN VILLAIN 


My lover, Jon, who is magnetically at- 
tracted to bad movies, recently rented 


a video of Outbreak, a 1995 movie that 
still rides the popularity wave of virus 
horror that characterizes every post- 
AIDS American household. The movie 
does a decent job of stirring up any 
dormant germophobia one may have: 
Our next-door neighbors came over 
and started sneezing halfway through 
the movie, and the rest of us screamed, 
"Quarantine!" and rolled them up in a 
blanket. 

But Outbreak hasn't gotten its hooks 
in me—the real thing is much more 
unnerving. It nauseates me to hear a 
one-minute item on the radio that 27 
more people died of Ebola virus in 
Zaire in the past week. (Ebola appar- 
ently liquefies your insides in a mat- 
ter of days, shooting your blood 
through your eyeballs.) 

Outbreak qualifies as a bad 
movie first because it isn't scary 
enough, and, more impor- 
tant, because it has such a su- 
per-duper happy ending. 

Just when beautiful actress 
Rene Russo is about to die 
from what appears to be a 
mild case of acne, Dustin 
Hoffman manages to 
find the bad monkey that 
started the whole mess, 
and saves her! 

Is this movie actually 
trying to imply that if. 
someone with Dustin 
Hoffman's pluck had 
found the right monkey 
in the nick of time, we 
could have stopped AIDS? 

"What kind of virus is 
that?" I asked. "It's a Holly- 
wood virus," said Jon, and 
he was correct. 

But deep down, I know bet- 
ter. 1 respect and fear the virus- 
es. I know that I'm just another 
set of cells to munch up and spit 
out. My vulnerability has nothing to 
do with my sexual preference, or with 
God's wrath or bad karma, so 1 feel 
even more susceptible. Yet like every- 
one else, I don't dwell on it any more 
than I would imagine a fatal car acci- 
dent. It's terrifying to be so smug that 
you can imagine this could never hap- 
pen to you or your family. 

The real epidemic affects me on a 
different plane: It enters my mind 
most often after 1 haven't heard from 
someone in a while. One of the first 


things I wonder is, Is he or she still 
alive? I live in the San Francisco area, 
one of the epicenters of the plague. 
When I thumb through my phone 
book looking for something, I think, 
I really have to get a new phone 
book, so many of these people are 
dead. But I never get rid of it, because 
throwing it away would somehow 
be like throwing away the last vestiges 
of them. 

Maybe I shouldn't assume that AIDS 
has touched everyone's life. 1 just know 


that it seemed one year everyone I 
knew was alive and kicking, and then 
the next year everyone started failing, 
or checking out, or fighting to the bit- 
ter end, accepting death with grace or 
denying it with insanity. I became fa- 
miliar with every method, and in the 
end a whole lifetime of friends had left 


me for good. 
Hollywood hasn't yet packaged this. 


THE SAFE-SEX ROAD SHOW 


A theater group from Pittsburgh, the 
Saltworks Theater Co., has performed 
а “по sex is safe sex" drama called No 
Safe Place on school stages across the 
country. 

"The young actors in the play mime a 
game of Russian roulette to show how 
risky it is to use condoms for protec- 
tion. One of the hapless characters has 
sex only twice; the first time, she gets 
HIV, and the second time she passes it 

on to someone else. 1 think the first 
person who slept with her should 
have been portrayed as a homo- 
sexual Martian, but that might 
have been asking too much. 

"Because of me, that person 
is going to dic," says Mau- 
rcen in her final scene. “I 
regret that. And I regret 
that I won't get to gradu- 
ate." Oh yeah, gradua- 
tion, the ultimate life ex- 
perience. But if Maureen 
joins the Cannabis Club 
to get wholesale drug re- 
lief, starts writing for 
a militant, positive zine 
such as Diseased Pariah 
News and gets some hip 
doctors, she'll probably 
live way past the prom. 
Maybe she will even have 
sex and fall in love with 
someone else who is posi- 

tive like her! 
False hopes. The panic- 
mongers have only one end- 

ing: fear. 


THE POWER OF NO 


Teenagers are easy to scare because 
they're anxious about sex to begin 
with, AIDS or no AIDS. There's noth- 
ing that pleases the puritan dema- 
gogues more than hearing a bunch of 
hormone-impaired junior high school 
students shouting, "Pee-uuew! Sex is 
icky, I'm taking the chastity pledge!" 
Kids are under peer pressure to do a 
million things, and they will grab at any 
righteous reason to justify their fears. 

As soon as frightened people have an 


51 


52 


opportunity to have sex that doesn't 
seem frightening, they will take that 
chance, and bye-bye go the celibacy 
vows. It can be because of something 
as wonderful as a kind lover's guid- 
ance, or as sloppy as getting high and 
not giving a hoot. 

People are not going to stop having. 
sex in any kind of significant numbers 
just because they're scared or because 
it's dangerous. I always knew sex was 
fraught with danger. I would have felt. 
like my life was over if I had gotten 
pregnant when I was 16—I agonized 
with friends who faced that situation. 
Even without the physical chances of 
getting more than you bargained for 
in sexual relations, there were all the 
psychological hurdles. Physical inti- 
macy could so easily mean falling in 
love, unbearable longing, a broken 
heart. Who would put up with alll of it 
ifit wasn’t such a terribly human thing 
to do, if the urge to connect sexually 
wasn't in our souls, our maturity, our 


fingertips? 


The panicmongers 
believe in the power of 
prohibition, as op- 
posed to permission. 
One of the great lies of 
the past decade is that 
the two traits are op- 
posed. To "just say no” is a fine thing 
for many occasions, not only sexual 
ones. I wish I could have said no to my 
mechanic last week, for example. I'm 
always kicking myself for not telling 
people my boundaries ahead of time. 
But saying no is nothing more than 
crying wolf if the person saying it 
doesn't also know the power of affirm- 
ing yes. It’s distinguishing what you 
do want (and knowing the advantages 
of it) that gives no its currency. People 
who have a lot of sexual experience 
and know what they enjoy sexually al- 
ways give the best nos. It's almost a 
pleasure to be on the receiving end of 
their refusal, because their confidence 
and goodwill are contagious. 

Carcer celibacy and automated neg- 
ative responses are science fiction, as 
fantastic as an amazing world where 
people don't eat, cry or poop. The 
appeal of celibacy has always been 
to transcend human desire, the low- 


er chakras, the elemental and earthy 
parts of ourselves. Well, too bad, that's 
the way we were made, and we should 
take a hint from the other animals. You 
don't see birds starting an antiflying 
campaign just because the skies aren't 
so friendly anymore. Sex is not all-con- 
suming; it's just a natural part of our 
lives that, for all its mysteries, we have 
often repressed. 

Some people think safer-sex advice, 
condoms, dams and all the rest are too 
complicated. It's true that there's a lot 
of information out there, but I don't 
know anyone who's sorry that thcy'rc 
informed, or bummed out because 
they got the latest update. The real 
problem is how sex information is cen- 
sored and suppressed so that people 
can't get it in the first place. Further- 
more, if safe sex is offered like cod-liver 
oil, it's not going to be swallowed. Safe 
sex doesn't work without sexual fulfill- 
ment—that's why I started to do work- 
shops called Safer Sex for Sex Maniacs. 


ЕВА! 
VERY 


TRANS KIS 
UNLIKELY ДҮ 
ECT 


VIR UIE 


TO IN 


My workshop title has the kind of 
oxymoronic titillation that draws a big 
crowd wherever I go. How can safer 
sex be something that a true sex 
aficionado would enjoy? Aren't sex 
maniacs the ones who are responsible 
for all our troubles? No—people who 
think about, talk about and have sex a 
lot are the answer to your prayers, be- 
cause they’re the only ones with any 
experimental information. 

The most frustrating things about. 
safer-sex information are these giant 
fuzzy areas where no one knows the 
complete answer. When we do hit a 
gray spot, people tend to fall back on 
their worst fears about, and condemna- 
tion of, sex. The most obvious instance 
of this quandary is oral sex. 1 once had 
a poignant discussion about oral sex 
with a support group of HIV-positive 
women. When asked what they missed 
most about their postdiagnosis sex, 
they said, almost to a woman, “Having 


SION 


YOU. 


my pussy licked!" 

Everyone in the group was terribly 
worried about the risk of cunnilingus 
passing the virus to their partner. Be- 
cause no one in HIV research was giv- 
ing the time of day to women's bodily 
fluids at that point (the late Fighties), it 
was a mystery. Women generally feel so 
insecure and suspicious about their 
cunts to begin with that having another 
reason to keep their lips shut seemed 
the familiar—and thus, the safer— 
thing to do. 

I teased them, saying they needed to 
start the day with a pussy affirmation: 
“My lips are beautiful, my clitoris is 
beautiful, I smell like a woman. When I 
open my legs, the world begins"— 
something along those lines. We could 
all have a laugh, because it's unusual to 
have those feelings at all, let alone after 
you have been diagnosed positive. 


WORD OF MOUTH 

Oral-sex research has 
shown us what is typi- 
cal of all news about 
this virus—that it has 
nothing to do with all 
our self-loathing inse- 
curities about our bod- 
ies. HIV does exist in 
women's genital fluids, 
as well as in semen, but 
oral-genital transmis- 
sion is a very unlikely 
way for the virus to infect you. It's not 
the party the virus wants to go to. 

One form of the panic obscured a 
truth. The more important aspect of 
oral contact seems to be the character 
of the mouth, rather than the genitals. 
Many people have gums that bleed, or 
a mouth sore, and it's this bold open- 
ing that poscs thc highest risk. That's 
why today's hottest date tip is to not 
brush your teeth, girls, and for heav- 
en's sake, no flossing! This must drive 
dentists berserk, because, of course, if 
you brush and floss regularly, your 
gums will be pink and lovely and never 
bleed. There are other things to con- 
sider about the health of your mouth, 
for any sores or STDs already affecting 
the vulva or penis also pose a risk fac- 
tor. But a risk factor isn't the same as 
high risk. Letting people know all the. 
details puts a lot of discretion in their 
hands, but it's the only honest way to 
go. If we persist in being alarmists 


FOR 


about oral sex, the word gets out that 
people are doing it, or some variation 
of it (to swallow or not to swallow—or 
how quickly to do either—is the ques- 
tion), and surviving quite nicely. 


NEW RULES 


"The key to being as safe as you want 
to be is not carrying a list of outdated 
rules in your pocket: It's listening to 
your own body, talking frankly with 
your lovers and friends and getting the 
most uncensored facts and research 
material available. It's realizing that 
these days your zip code is probably 
a higher risk factor than your sex- 
ual preference, because this dis- 
сазе is demographic, not preju- 
dicial. It means you have to 
pull your head out of the 
sand and forget mainstream 
television, which is spread- 
ing a virtual disinforma- 
tion campaign. Look in- 
stead for your local gay 
paper, or the nearest 
free-needle center. You'll 
find people there who 
have the most conscien- 
tious and practical infor- 
mation. STDs are here 
to stay—like the weather. 
And if you want to know 
where it's raining, you 
have to look outside. 

But what if you're like 
poor Rapunzel, locked up 
in a turret, with no friends 
to turn to? In that situation, 
Safer Sex for Sex Maniacs of- 
fers alternatives: When you're 
with someone you don't know 
and there are no condoms in 
sight, simply avoid sharing blood 
and semen. Let your dirty mind 
come up with a different style of or- 
gasm. Safer sex habits won't work if 
you can't get off—to say anything else 
is a puritanical joke. The excitement of 
desire is ultimately what will send you 
to the moon, including all the unsafe 
fantasies you can dream up. You can 
envision gallons of semen from 50 cow- 
boys pumping up your ass, and that's a 
lovely and completely safe way for you 
to get your rocks off. 

1f Tommy Morrison had only 
spanked all his dozens of girlfriends 
while they sucked and stroked his penis 


with their sticky, eager groupie hands, 
he would be in the pink today, and 
that fretful columnist would have 
to come up with some other drivel 
with which to spook his nieces and 
nephews. 


WHERE WE ARE NOW. 


Despite what our culture feels about 
“excessive” sex, it's clear that most of us 


think a lot morc is acceptable than we 
used to. Homosexuality has become 
positively wholesome, if one looks at 
the role models available to the public 
today. We have fetishized virginity, but 
we no longer make a condition out of 
it for a woman's value. We are not 
shocked that someone has had, say, ten 
sexual partners. Sex before marriage is 
considered sensible, not a sin. These 


days, we do not condemn lovers be- 
cause they have oral or anal sex or use 
a vibrator. And, as much as we esteem 
loyalty and partnership, people are not 
damning their partners or their friends 
to everlasting hell for infidelity. The 
notion of marriages that are in some 
way erotically open to interpretation is 
hardly shocking. 

Of course, there are old-fashioned 
people defending old values, but the 
point is, everyone agrees that they're 
old. The biggest lie the old-fashioned 
people have on their side is that sexu- 
ality used to be so different in the good 

old days, when in fact, it was only 
more secretive and much more re- 
strictive for women and young 
people. One day, AIDS will be 
an anachronistic disease, but 
the panic, the revolution, our 
transformed respect for life 
and death and sex, will nev- 

er be plowed under. 


AFTERWORD 


We now know how to 
say no to sex in 50 differ- 
ent languages, in every 
mood, place and time. 
But it rings so hollow 
and aching sometimes— 
we never learned to say 
yes to sex without duress 

or without a fall from 
grace. 

Sex is such an urgent 
message from our body 
that sometimes we call it our 

soul. Lust carries risks, sexual 
intimacy has consequences. 
Nobody would go through it if 
the rewards were not mag- 
nificent: the knowledge of one’s 
body, the basic connection with an- 
other person. Without eroticism there 
is no love. 

The most outstanding result of lust is 
new life, both in real births and in the 
birth of our creativity, and such events 
are nothing short of a sensation. Of 
course it's worth it. What the puritans 
and their gong shows don’t seem to re- 
alize is that sex is inevitable. Their 
prudery is killing people, both meta- 
phorically and literally, but they can- 
not mandate their vision of purity be- 
cause it is, at its core, an affront to our 
survival. 


53 


54 


E 


R 


"Thank you for Ted Fishman's 
piece on how we acquire vir- 
tue (“The Ethical Voice," The 
Playboy Forum, December). In- 
deed, it is not from presidents, 
popes, movie stars or athletes 
that we acquire a groundwork 
of morality but from those pco- 
ple who guide us through the 
turbulence of childhood. For 
better or worse, we model our- 
selves on the blood and/or sur- 
rogate family around us. Fish- 
man reminds us that small acts 
of decency, performed without 
expectation of reward, are the 
greatest gifts we can give to 
children and to ourselves. 

David Kozinski 
Wilmington, Delaware 


Leadership by example— 
what a quaint idea. Perhaps it 
takes a man of Fishman's per- 
ception and understanding of 
life to point out what should be 
obvious to us all. If we adults 
treat all about us with respect 
and honesty, if we are generous 
to those of lesser means, if we 
conduct our lives with integrity, 
perhaps our children will do 
the same. Some may have to 
rise above their own upbring- 
ings to embrace such a life, 


FOR THE RECORD 


HORROR STORIES 


“Run, don't walk, to the first library you can 
find and read what they're trying to keep out of 
your eyes Read what they're trying to keep our 
of your brains. Because that’s exactly what you 
need to know.” 
—AUTHOR STEPHEN KING'S ADVICE TO YOUNG 

READERS ON THE SUBJECT OF CENSORSHIP. ONE 

OF THE MOST CHALLENGED AUTHORS IN SCHOOLS 

AND LIBRARIES, KING INCLUDES AMONG HIS 

BANNED TITLES Salem's Lot, Carrie ANDCujo. 


E R 


her rights, it is not the mission 
of the armed forces to protect 
her from herself. Bluenoses 
such as Wilson are all cut from 
the same cloth, She might have 
a real complaint if the federal 
government forced her to buy 
and read PLAYBOY. One won- 
ders why she chose your maga- 
zine in which to vent. It must be 
because of PLAYBOY reputation 
as a meaningful forum for First 
Amendment issues rather than 
as the "pornography" to which 
Wilson refers. 

Jake Stroop 

San Diego, California 


‘Thank you for your opposi- 
tion to the bill to restrict the 
sale of adult material in the 
base/post exchanges. In a re- 
cent Air Force Times, our high- 
ranking officials adopted a 
wait-and-see attitude concern- 
ing protests on the base be- 
cause they feel most airmen 
don't сусп realizc that adult 
material is no longer available. 
The congressional reasoning 
that troops can subscribe to or 
go off base to purchase such 
material misses the point—as 
Congress so frequently does. 
Thanks for your continued 
support of the rights of military 


but it’s worth it for the sake of 
children. 
Lec Fisher 
Manchester, Nev Hampshire 


PLAYBOY FIGHTS BACK 

Asa member of the armed forces for 
more than 35 years, I feel compelled to 
set Heather Wilson straight on the op- 
eration of the armed forces exchange 
systems (“Playboy at War," Reader Re- 
sponse, December). The Defense De- 
partment contracts for everything. 
Manufacturers and wholesalers bid on 
these contracts, and their bids are ac- 
cepted or rejected depending on the 
product's ability to meet the 
specifications put forth. When prod- 
ucts wind up in the exchange post, they 
are sold to members of the armed 
forces at a cost that (1) covers the 
wholesale price of the goods, (2) covers 
the cost of warehousing the goods and 
(3) covers the cost of selling the goods 
to the customer. Any profit that the ex- 
changes make is turned over to the 


armed services for morale, welfare and 
recreation funding. Ergo, the men and 
women of the armed services help their 
own cause by shopping the exchange 
system. In their misguided attempt to 
force their morals on every enlisted 
person, the three congressmen behind 
the Military Honor and Decency Act 
indicate that they have neither honor 
nor decency. 

James Smith 

Mansfield, Ohio 


“The price breaks that servicemen 
and servicewomen enjoy are the result 
of the base exchanges buying in bulk, 
not subsidics from Congress. Morc to 
the point, Heather Wilson should be 
mindful of the fact that America's mili- 
tary personnel have sworn to defend, 
with their lives if necessary, her right to 
view the world as she pleases, even 
when that view differs from that of the 
soldier, sailor, airman or Marine. While 
these enlisted folk can and will defend 


personnel. 
Dennis Watkins 
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 


Your December Forum got me going. 
I thoroughly enjoy your publication, 
but because I am in the Navy, I must 
have it delivered to my home off base 
rather than to my military address. 
Aboard ship, magazines such as 
PLAYBOY are prohibited. If any are 
found, even in the confines of your 
locker, they will be confiscated and de- 
stroyed. The military reduces its per- 
sonnel to adolescent status in various 
other ways, but why should adults be 
forced to hide their chosen reading 
material like teenagers? Enlisted men 
and women are old enough to decide 
that we want to defend our country, 
but we can't be trusted to view adult lit- 
erature. Where is the logic in that? Rest 
assured that the next letter I write is 
going straight to my congressman. 
John Stalzer 
Virginia Beach, Virginia 


RUEGOS 


BOOKWORMS 
Т have two questions for censorship 
advocate John Grisham (“By the 
Book," The Playboy Forum, November). 
Does he believe that, had they never 
seen Natural. Born Killers, the couple 
who murdered his friend would have 
been upstanding citizens? And if I steal 
a million dollars and escape to the Cay- 
man Islands, can I hold John Grisham 
legally responsible? 
Poppy Brite 
New Orleans, Louisiana 


FAMILY NOISE 
Iam writing in response to your arti- 
cle about the parents who petitioned to 
end an elementary school's photo ex- 
hibit of gay and lesbian families (“Hate 
Makes Noise," Neusfront, December). I 
too believe the exhibit is inappropriate 
for elementary school display. There 
are lessons more valuable and more 
likely to affect a broader range of ele- 
mentary-school children—drug and al- 
cohol awareness, racial harmony and 
nonviolence, to name a few. We should 
not waste time justifying a lifestyle that. 
is, in fact, the exception. A less pointed 
way of approaching the idea of love in 
a diverse family structure would be to 
include these homosexual families in a 
larger perspective of families who have 
experienced divorce, or families in 
which grandparents, aunts or foster 
parents are the primary caregivers. 
‘These examples are far more common 
than homosexual-parent families and 
do not falsely represent such circum- 
stances as the only relevant scenario. 
School districts must allow certain 
lessons to be taught at home rather 
than forced into our children’s lives. 
My wife and I are perfectly capable of 
explaining to our daughter that fami- 
lies do not necessarily have a structure 
identical to ours and that regardless of 
structure, love and nurturing are the 
most important factors in any family. 
As for the title of your item, this is not 
a matter of hate but a matter of mo- 
ral value. 
Sean Farley 
St. Petersburg, Florida 


COMICS DEFENSE 
S.J. Alston's letter about the comic 
book industry waging war agai 
sorship and arbitrary restraint 
Laughing Matter,” Reader Response, De- 
cember) brings an old quote to mind: 
“The only thing necessary for the tri- 


P О 


umph of evil is for good men to do 
nothing." Many Americans mistakenly 
assume that the government will run 
and control itself. People who are upset 
that comics are persecuted, the Inter- 
net is censored or their favorite adult- 
video store is being torn down should 
not sit at home and whine. They 
should attend city council meetings. 
Voter turnout for the past few years has 
been abysmal, so we have no one to 
blame for current circumstances but 
ourselves. Every day our rights are be- 
ing stripped away. If we want fair rules, 
we have to force the issue. 

Alex Richardson 

Copperas Cove, Texas 


INIM SUB 


How can I contact the Comic Book 
Legal Defense Fund mentioned in the 
December issue? 


Jim Pheeney 
Washington, D.C. 
It can be reached at PO. Box 693, 
Northampton, Massachusetts 01061, 413- 
586-6967 (www.insv.com/cblaf ). 


We would like to hear your point of vieu. 
Send questions, opinions and quirky stuff to: 
The Playboy Forum Reader Response, 
rıavnov, 680 North Lake Shore Drive, 
Chicago, Illinois 60611. Please include a 
daytime phone number. Fax number: 312- 
951-2939. E-mail: forum @Мауһоу com. 
(please include your city and state) 


9 


CITTA’ 


DI AULLA 


SI PREGA DI EVITARE 
SOSTE PARTICOLARI 
IN QUESTO LUOGO 
CHE APPARTIENE A 
TUTTI I CITTADINI 


Ai sensi dell'ordinanza sindacale 
n.140 del 25/09/1996 


& prevista ammenda 


Did driver's ed cover this? The village elders of Aulla, Italy thought enough 
was enough. The officials caught motorists’ attention when they decided 
to rid the town of two resident streetwalkers via antiprastitution street signs. 


55 


N E W 


SHEFER 


O N T 


what’s happening in the sexual and social arenas 


CHANGING TIMES 


SAN FRANCISCO—Officials want to 
change the city’s medical insurance to cov- 
er sex-change operations, which can cost 
$10,000 to $30,000, not including long- 


term fees for hormone treatmenis and psy- 
chiatric care. One police sergeant who is 
paying for her own operation to become a 
man told the Associated Press the condition 
should be considered a medical necessity, 


not an optional procedure. 


WHO KNOWS? 


ST PETERSBURG The state of Florida 
fired a health department investigator af- 
ter he allegedly used a confidential list of 
4000 le with HIV or AIDS to screen 
potential dates. The list was then sent to 
several newspapers, but the man denied 
sharing the list and appealed his dismissal. 
Local activists said they fear the scandal 
will discourage people from being tested. 
Meanuhile, health officials in North 
Carolina hope io end anonymous HIV 
testing despite studies showing that people 
most at risk avoid tests that require them 
to identify themselves. Twenty-five other 
states restrict or ban anonymous testing, 
saying it hinders their efforts to control the 
disease. 


PLAYGROUND SAFETY 


SAN FRANCISCO—Offictals want to li- 
cense the city’s underground sex clubs and 
require them to provide condoms, lubri- 


cants, proper lighting, AIDS-prevention 
literature and safe-sex monitors. The clubs 
host gatherings where customers pay $5 to 
$20 to congregate for sex, mutual mastur- 
tation or voyeurism in large, open rooms, 
some with music and strobe lights. Critics 
of the plan say the city should not endorse 
anonymous sex in light of the role that San. 
Francisco's gay bathhouses played in the 
AIDS epidemic. 


GREEN FOR 60 


LONDON—A battery-powered, hand- 
held monitor and test sticks now on the 
market in the О.К. tell a woman exactly 
when she can have sex without getting 
pregnant. The device, called Persona, tests 
hormone levels in a woman's urine. A 
green light indicates that the woman can 
have sex without contraceptives and a ved 
light shows when she is most fertile (six to 
ten days a month). Unipath, which makes 
the device, claims the monitor is 95 percent 
effective in preventing pregnancy, about 
the same as condoms (but without the pro- 
tection against STDs). The firm hopes to 


introduce Persona in the U.S. pending 
FDA approval. 


BREASTS ARE GOOD 


BERKELEY—A jury reached a deadlock 
over the case of two women who violated 
an antinudity statute by strolling and 
singing topless as part of a campaign for 
“breast freedom.” The women, aged 44 
and 50, argued they have a First Amend- 
ment right to bare their breasts, but kept 
their shirts on during the trial at the 
judge's request. “I'm attempting to lift the 
shame that other women seem to carry sur- 
rounding their breasts,” one of the women 
explained. Berkeley's antinudity law was 
passed in 1993 in response to the Naked 
Guy, a college student who frequently 
walked around nude. 


TROUBLE AT HOME 


SAN FRANCISCO—A survey of communi- 
ty activists has discovered an alarming 
amount of domestic abuse in homosexual 
relationships. The National Coalition of 
Anti-Violence Programs documented more 
than 1500 cases of domestic abuse between 
same-sex partners in six major cities dur- 
ing 1995. The coalition estimates violence 
occurs in more than a quarter of homosex- 
ual relationships. In four of the cities, ac- 


tivists reported that gays were more likely to 
be injured in domestic violence than in 
gay-bashing attacks. 


BIBLE BUREAUCRACY 


WASHINGTON, D.C—The Social Securi- 
ty Administration ruled that those who are 
assigned a number which includes the bib- 
lical mark of the Antichrist—666—can 
have it changed. A California couple had 
protested after their infant daughter was 
assigned a number that included 666. Ac- 
cording to the Bille, "Christians are sup- 
posed to refuse the mark of the beast,” the 
girl’s mother told “The Orange County 
Register.” The child's father claimed, “I'm 
not a religious fanatic. The number is as 
offensive to me as if an African American 
were given a KKK on his card or a Jewish 
person had to have a swastika.” 


COIN OPERATOR 


CINCINNATI—A police officer on park- 
ing-meter patrol arrested a 62-year-old 
grandmother after she fed a nickel into one 
expired meter and a dime into another— 
just as he prepared to write tickets. He cit- 
ed Sylvia Stayton for obstructing official 
business (it’s illegal in Cincinnati and 
many other cities to feed expired limited- 


time meters). A local church whose mem- 
bers also feed meters printed T-shirts that 
read, SYLVIASTAYTON . .. GUILTY OF KIND- 
NESS. Widespread negative publicity over 
the arrest prompted the city counal to con- 
sider changing the law. 


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PLAYBOY INTERVIEW. CLINT EASTWOOD 


a candid conversalion wilh the tough-guy legend about his life as a hollywood out- 
sider, his legal battles with sondra locke and the secret behind his years as a star 


Clint Eastwood is walking around Mis- 
sion Ranch, the quiet, secluded property he 
owns only a few miles from his home in 
Carmel, California. He purchased the ranch 
on the Monterey Peninsula in. 1986 when 
businessmen planned to turn the 22-acre site 
into a condominium development. He enjoys 
talking about the history of the place—it was 
one of the first California dairies and, dur- 
ing World War Two, an Army and Navy 
officers’ club with a rollicking reputation. 

As soon as Eastwood bought the ranch, he 
hired craftsmen to turn the series of build- 
ings on the site into a quaint hotel overlook- 
ing meadows that join the wetlands and 
Carmel River Beach. “U would have been 
wrong to sell this,” he says slouly, softly and. 
emphatically, his startlingly blue eyes squint- 
ing once more, his craggy face and 64" 
frame somehow giving the words weight, 
even a touch of menace. 

Eastuood's on-screen persona—the flinty, 
confident, silent loner—mirrors his life in a 
way that’s uncommon among movie stars. 
Even more uncommon has been his longevity 
and success. His remarkable 40-year career 
is unrivaled. He entered the nation’s con- 
sciousness as a no-talent television heari- 
throb on “Rawhide.” Even when he switched 
to motion pictures, critics had no use for him. 

“Eastwood doesn't act in motion pictures, 
he is framed in them,” Vincent Canby wrote 


“Sondra has a husband. He's gay—she ad- 
mitted that during the trial. They were bud- 
dies from school days. It's just a different 
scene. I can't explain it . . . your eyes might 
not stay in their sockets. 


in “The New York Times” in 1968. In 1971 
Pauline Kael said “Dirty Harry" was a film 
imbued with “fascist medievalism.” East- 
wood seemed oblivious to the attacks and 
widened his focus to include directing. 

By the mid-Fighties many of Eastwood's 
early critics had reversed themselves. In his 
review of “Pale Rider,” Canby wrote, “I'm 
just now beginning to realize that, though 
Mr. Eastwood may have been improving over 
the years, it’s also taken all these years for 
most of us to recognize his very consistent 
grace and wit as а filmmaker.” Norman 
Mailer wrote, “Eastwood is an artist. You 
can see the man in his work, just as clearly as 
you can see Hemingway in A Farewell to 
Arms.” 

In the youth-dominated entertainment in- 
dusiry, Eastwood continues to confound peo- 
ple. He's 66 years old and still a major box- 
office draw and sex symbol. As an actor, he 
remains the longest-running success story in 
Hollywood. He is such an archetypal movie 
slar it’s almost easy to forget that he's one of 
our most successful directors as well, having 
presided over more than 20 films. 

He stars in his new movie, “Absolute Pow- 
er,” which opens this month. It is based on a 
best-selling novel by David Baldacci about 
a skilled career burglar who inadvertently 
witnesses a murder in which the president of 
the U.S. participates. What especially ap- 


“I don't know if I have a violent temper 1 
don't think 1 do at this stage in my life. But, 
yeah, 1 get as bugged as Ihe next person. If 
you can go through а movie and lose your 
temper only once or twice, you're lucky." 


pealed to Eastwood was the troubled rela- 
tionship in the film between the burglar and 
his daughter. His next directorial effort is an 
adaptation of John Berendt’s “Midnight in 
the Garden of Good and Evil.” 

Born on May 31, 1930 in San Francisco, 
the older child of Clinton and Ruth East- 
wood, Clinton Eastwood Jr. endured а hard- 
scrabble, Depression-era childhood that pro- 
foundly affected him. Because his father had 
difficulty finding jobs, the family moved from 
one northern California town to another 
with а one-wheel trailer in tow. Young Clint 
attended eight grammar schools and later 
described himself as having been a lonely, in- 
troverted child. 

In Oakland, California Eastwood attend. 
ed Oakland Technical High School, where, 
aside from swimming and basketball, his ma- 
jor interest was jazz. He played piano for 
free meals at a club in Oakland and after 
graduating from high school in 1948 
worked as a lumberjack and firefighter in 
Oregon and a steelworker in Seattle. His 
тойо was "never to be dependent on anyone 
else.” 

He was drafted into the Army in 1951 
and was made а swimming instructor at 
Fort Ord, California. While there he mel sev- 
eral actors, including David Janssen and 
Martin Milner, who encouraged him to go 10 
Hollywood after his military stint. 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY ORVIO ROSE 
“You never purposely make a movie for an 
empty house. Bul I'm philosophical. I've al- 
ways believed that the great thing about a 
theater is the big exit sign. And don't let the 
door hit you on the rear as you walk out.” 


59 


PLAYBOY 


Following his discharge in 1953, he en- 
rolled at Los Angeles City College under the 
GI Bill and started making the rounds as an 
actor. On thc basis of his rugged looks, Uni- 
versal signed him on as a contract player. 

After 18 months of playing bit parts in 
"Francis the Talking Mule” movies and “Re- 
venge of the Creature" (1955), Eastwood 
was dropped by Universal. He pumped gas 
and dug swimming pools in the San Fernan- 
do Valley Hills and thought about returning 
to college. While he was eating with a friend 
in the basement o[ the CBS television stu- 
dios, a producer asked him to test for the role 
of good guy Rowdy Yates in “Rawhide,” the 
TV series about cattle drives on the Great 
Plains that ran from 1959 to 1966. It was 
the beginning of Eastwood's lucrative career 
as a gunslinger. 

In 1964, during a four-month break in 
the “Rawhide” production schedule, East- 
wood accepted an offer of $15,000 to 
Spain and star in ‘A Fistful of Dollars, 
rected by Sergio Leone. As the Man With No 
Name, Eastwood went out of his way to de- 
part from his clean-cut television cowboy im- 
age and play a smoldering, enigmatic, vio- 
lent loner. 

The film was an unexpected hit. Two oth- 
er successful spaghetti Westerns by Leone fol- 
lowed: “For a Few Dollars More” and “The 
Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.” By the late 
Sixties, the three films had established East- 
wood's reputation as an international super- 
star, initially more popular abroad than 
at home. 

Returning to Hollywood, Eastwood 
formed his own production company, Mal- 
paso, and signed on to make “Hang ‘Em 
High” (1968), as a man who survives his 
cun hanging and wreaks revenge on the 
nine men responsible. Although similar to 
the spaghetti Westerns, the movie had even 
darker undertones because it featured a dif- 
ferent type of hero—a cowboy who drew his 
gun first. “I do everything John Wayne 
would never do,” he said at the time. “I play 
the hero, but I shoot the guy in the back.” 
The movie—for which Eastwood was paid 
$40,000 plus 25 percent of the profits—was 
one of his highest-grossing films for that 
period. 

By 1969 Eastwood was one of the world's 
top box-office draws. He began a partner- 
ship with action director Don Siegel, making 
such successes as "Coogan's Bluff” “Two 
Mules for Sister Sara,” "The Beguiled” and 
“Dirty Harry.” “Dirty Harry,” the 1971 film 
about Harry Callahan, a San Francisco de- 
tective who takes the law into his own hands, 
not only launched three sequels but, to the 
amazement of Eastwood and Siegel, also 
seized the mood of many Americans who were 
as enraged about urban violence as they 
were about a legal system that failed to con- 
trol thugs. 

It was Siegel who encouraged Eastwood to 
direct his first feature film, "Play Misty for 
Me” (1971), a thriller about a disc jockey 
(played by Eastwood) who becomes involved 
with a psychotic fan. There followed a series 


60 of films that he directed, many of them dark- 


edged. Eastwood starred in many of these 
films, including “The Outlaw Joscy Wales” 
(1976), plus “Bronco Billy” (1980) and 
"Honkytonk Man” (1982) —which spoofed 
Eastuood's tough-guy persona—and the 
mystical Western “Pale Rider” (1985). 
There were some duds, too, including a 
James Bond-style mishap, “The Eiger Sanc- 
tion” (1975). 

Eastwood then proceeded to make some 
even more striking films, including "Bird" 
(1988), about the destructive life of jazz mu- 
sician Charlie Parker (played by Forest 
Whitaker), and “White Hunter, Black 
Heart” (1990), т which Eastwood gave a 
broad performance as a macho, self-absorbed 
director, a character based on John Huston 

“Unforgiven” (1992) is the most ac- 
claimed film of Eastwood's career, winning 
an Academy Award as best picture and earn- 
ing him an Oscar as best director. И was fol- 
lowed by “In the Line of Fire" (directed by 
Wolfgang Petersen) and two more films, ‘A 
Perfect World,” in which he co-starred with 
Kevin Costner (despite good reviews, the film 
was a box-office disappointment) and “The 
Bridges of Madison County,” in which he 
played a “National Geographic” photogra- 


I hate fads. And the 
movie business loves fads. 
I wasn't a fad. When I came 
in, it was predicted I'd 


go nowhere. 


pher who has a brief affair with an Iowa 
housewife played by Meryl Streep. 

Over that long career Eastwood had kept 
his personal life more discreet than. most 
movie stars—until the end of his relationship 
with Sondra Locke, an actress and director 
who appeared in six Eastwood films and was 
his lover and companion for 14 years. In the 
spring of 1989 Eastwood changed the locks 
on their Bel-Air home and hired movers to 
pack and move her clothes while she was on 
location directing a film. 

She retaliated with a palimony suit. In a 
later, highly public lawsuit she would allege 
that Eastwood had duped her into dropping 
the palimony case by dangling a bogus three- 
year development deal to direct at Warner 
Bros. Locke said she was undergoing chemo- 
therapy at the time and in a vulnerable state. 
After the deal, she pitched more than 30 pro- 
jects; Warner Bros. rejected all of them. 
Locke said she later learned that her $1.5 
million deal was secretly financed by East- 
wood. The case was resolved last September 
when Eastwood gave Locke an undisclosed 
monetary settlement. 

Eastwood has been married twice and 
seems to have seven children—the number is 
unconfirmed and Eastwood is reticent about 


the issue. In 1953 he married Maggie John- 
son, a swimsuit model. After a long estrange- 
ment, they divorced in the mid-Eighties and 
she reportedly received a $25 million settle- 
ment, The couple have two grown children, 
Kyle, a musician, and Alison, an actress. 

The new biography by Richard Schickel 
mentions the fact, first published in 1989, 
that Eastwood has another groum daughter, 
Kimber, born in 1964 to a woman who had 
an affair with Eastwood and remained 
somewhat friendly with him. In recent years 
Kimber has granted press interviews, saying 
at times that her father is financially and 
emotionally supportive. He also has a son 
and daughter born to Jacelyn Reeves, a for- 
mer flight attendant living in the Carmel 
area, who, according to Schickel, wanted 
children but did not want to share East- 
wood's public life. He supports the famil 

And Eastwood has a three-year-old 
daughter, Francesca, with Frances Fisher, the 
stage and film actress who had the top female 
role in “Unforgiven.” 

Last March, after a quiet courtship, East- 
wood married then 30-year-old Dina Ruiz, a 
television reporter in Salinas. The couple 
had their first child, a daughter, Morgan, on 
December 12. Eastwood has joked that he 
married Ruiz “for her money. 

We sent writer Bernard Weinraub, whose 
most recent article in PLAYBOY was about the 
life and death of producer Don Simpson, to 
get the press-shy actor to open up. Weinraub 
reports: 

“Eastwood has numerous hames—in Bel- 
Au, in Shasta County [the old Bing Crosby 
estate] and in Sun Valley, Idaho. But the one 
he favors is in Carmel, a quaint oceanside 
town that he first visited in his Army days. 
Around Carmel—where he was mayor from 
1986 to 1988—Eastwood is treated with a 
mixture of deference and friendliness. Every- 
one calls him Clint. 

“Friendly but a little moody, Eastwood is 
an unpredictable interview—lerse one mo- 
ment, talkative the next. He doesn't like to be 
pressed too hard. There’s no nervous chatter. 
He says exactly what he wants to say, and 
that’s it. 

“He's thoroughly unpretentious. What 
you see on-screen is pretty much what you see 
offscreen. There's no entourage. He drives 
himself to the airport. He doesn’t mix with 
the Hollywood crowd. Many of his friends 
are golf buddies in Carmel—an accountant, 
a salesman, a schoolteacher. His loyalties 
seem to run deep. He has used the same tal- 
ent agent and publicity honchos for decades. 
He keeps the same film crew. 

‘As reserved as he is, the one time he be- 
came animated was when his wife appeared. 
Dina Ruiz is outgoing and laughs easily. ‘If 
he doesn't tell you anything, just call me. ГЇЇ 
tell you everything,’ she said to me. Eastwood 
rolled his eyes in mock horror." 


PLAYBOY: For years now, you've been con- 
sidered the archetypal macho guy. How 
does that feel? 

EASTWOOD: It's a burden only when oth- 
er people impose their thoughts about 


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PLAYBOY 


who I am. Macho was a fashionable word 
in the Eighties. Everybody was kind of 
into it, what's macho and what isn't ma- 
cho. 1 really don't know what macho is. I 
never have understood it. Does it mean 
somebody who swaggers around exud- 
ing testosterone? And kicks the gate 
open and runs sprints up and down the 
street? Or does handsprings or what- 
ever? Or is macho a quiet thing based on 
your security? I remember shaking 
hands with Rocky Marciano. He was 
gentle, he didn't squeeze your hand. 
And he had a high voice. But he knew he 
could knock people around, it was a giv- 
en. That's macho. Muhammad Ali is the 
same. If you talked with him in his 
younger days, he spoke gently. He wasn't 
kicking over chairs. I think some of the 
most macho people are the gentlest. 

PLAYBOY: Meryl Streep said of you, "I've 
never encountered anyone who gave less 
cf a damn what any critic, movie wag or 
trend hound says about him or his 


work.” 


EASTWOOD: Well, I don't know. You never 
purposely make a movie for an empty 
house. You make it hoping people will 
see it and enjoy it. But I'm philosophical. 
At some point you commit yourself to a 
project and you have to do the project 
the way you see it. There's a line from 
the director character in White Hunter, 
Black Heart, patterned after John Hus- 
ton. He tells a writer, “When you make a 
film, you must forget that anyone's ever 
going to see it. Just make the hlm. And 
stay true to it." I believe that. You have to 
tell the story the way you see it and hope 
people want to come along on the jour- 
ney. You cannot tell a story and say, "OK, 
I've got to be careful now because audi- 
ences may not like this.” Then you be- 
come delusional and don’t know what 
you're making anymore. I’ve always be- 
lieved that the great thing about a movie 
theater is the big exit sign that everyone 
can see. And don't let the door hit you 
on the rear as you walk out. 

PLAYBOY: So you've never cared about 
what's trendy or fashionable? 
EASTWOOD: Oh, absolutely not. I hate 
trends, I hate fads. And the movie busi- 
ness loves fads, so for 40 years I've been 
stuck in a business that loves fads. I 
wasn't a fad. When I came in, it was pre- 
dicted that I'd go nowhere. And the pic- 
tures that were turning points in my ca- 
reer, such as Fistful of Dollars, were 
against the fad. Westerns were out of fa- 
vor. You just have to go with your in- 
stincts. I didn't make Dirty Harry because 
I thought the country needed a detective 
movie. I just felt it was a good movie. 

I know that Hollywood is loaded with 
people who love fads, the studios espe- 
cially. Independence Day was the big pic- 
ture last year, so I’m sure there are 
dozens more like it on the drawing 
board. Would I like to make a movie like 
that? Not particularly. 


82 PLAYBOY: You once said, “There's a rebel 


lying deep in my soul. Anybody tells me 
the trend is such and such, I go in the 
opposite direction." 

EASTWOOD: That just about sums it up. 
PLAYBOY: Do you consider yourself an 
artist? 

EASTWOOD: I’ve never thought about 
that. If making movies is an art, I guess 
T'd be considered an artist. But I don't 
know if it's an art or a craft or whatever 
anybody wants to call it. A lot of people 
get pompous and claim a film director 
has to be an auteur. Or are you really 
just a craftsman who is in a leadership 
capacity and who guides people along? 
Besides, isn't there an art to everything? 
There'san art to a plumber fixing a sink 
well. Or a mechanic working on cars. 
There's an art to it if you know how to 
do it and you do it well. A good bar- 
tender could be an artist. A bad one 
is not. 

PLAYBOY. When you're on a movie set 
away from home, how inevitable is it that 
people—the actors, the director, the 
crew— will have romances? 

EASTWOOD: I don't know if it's common. 
It does happen, though. When you're a 
young person making movies, it's easy to 
be exposed to it, to be tempted when 
you're away from home. 

PLAYBOY: Have you been tempted? 
EASTWOOD: [Smiles] Well, I guess maybe 
in my youth. 

PLAYBOY: Not in your later years? 
EASTWOOD: When you get into directing. 
hims it becomes a little ditierent because 
directing is so time-consuming. Once an 
actor learns his part he has a lot of time 
on his hands. If you're a young actor 
and you're playing a romantic scene 
with somebody, I suppose that tempta- 
tion would be there. But film directors 
don't have much time on their hands. 
PLAYBOY: Still, don't women throw them- 
selves at you more than they would at an 
average guy? 

EASTWOOD: I can't say. 1 suppose people 
fantasize about movie stars. I fantasized 
about Rita Hayworth and Linda Darnell. 
But sure, it's something an actor might 
face regardless of his age. It's the same 
thing that an older executive feels with 
a 21-year-old girl chasing him around. 
He wonders, Does she like me for my 
personality and looks or is it for some- 
thing else? 

PLAYBOY: And when women throw them- 
selves at you — 

EASTWOOD: Today I'm very happy and 
married to the best woman I have ever 
known, and that wouldn't cross my 
mind. 

PLAYBOY: But you admit it happens. 
EASTWOOD: Oh, yeah. There are a lot of 
people who throw themselves at you. At 
a certain time in your life that's flatter- 
ing, and you're impressed by it. At other 
times you're realistic about it. You realize 
it doesn't add up to a whole lot. 
PLAYBOY: Are you at least Hattered? 
EASTWOOD: I think I’m a realist about it. 


You're a movie actor, people know you. 
I've been around a long time. Although 
Iappeal to a wide age group, a younger 
actor would get the younger audience 
going for him. 

PLAYBOY: It must cheer you up that this 
still goes on when you're 66 years old. 
EASTWOOD: [Laughs] I don't think about 
that. Age is biological, but it's also psy- 
chological. A lot of people are old before 
their time because they think old 
PLAYBOY: How do you feel when you see 
actors who are afraid to play their age? 
EASTWOOD: I cringe. Some people can't 
face it. Like Cary Grant. He just decided 
one day he didn't want to act anymore 
because he could no longer play roman- 
tic characters. Other people say, "What 
the hell, I'll just play character parts and 
play them till I'm 90." And there are oth- 
er people who insist they can play 45- 
year-olds for the rest of their life as long. 
as they have a lot of hair dye and stuff 
like that. But that’s not very interesting 
to me. You've got to be what you are. 
PLAYBOY: Do you have much privacy? 
EASTWOOD: When you study to be an ac- 
tor you try to watch people and observe 
humanity. Then, when you become 
more well known, you're the one studied 
and you can't study people anymore. 
You go places and people interrupt you 
and say, “Oh God, you're sitting by your- 
self. I thought maybe I'd give you some 
company.” Which is the last thing you 
probably want. You're probably sitting 
by yourself lor a reason. It could be that 
your dog got run over, or you could be 
in a terrible mood. Everybody deserves 
to have his moment of privacy. As a well- 
known person you don't get it, but you 
deserve it. 

PLAYBOY. You have never been part of 
the Hollywood world —the premieres, 
parties, restaurants and all of that. Why 
not? 

EASTWOOD: I've gone to a few. I've always 
maintained a residence here in Mon- 
terey County; it's sort of my home base, 
except when I’m working. I go to restau- 
rants in L.A. once in a while. I don't hold 
with the fashion that you have to hate 
LA. to be happy in the world. I mean, to 
me, you're happy wherever you are and 
where things are going well. 

PLAYBOY: What do you like about 
Carmel? 

EASTWOOD: It's a smaller town, a smaller 
community. It's not quite like a small 
town in mid-America where there may 
be nothing to do except to hang around 
the local store and drive the strip with 
your hair in curlers. There are things to 
do here—there are rock festivals, jazz 
festivals, car races, anything a person 
wants to do. It has exquisite views. 
You're close to San Francisco, and you're 
reasonably dose to L.A. It's a nice place 
to be. 

PLAYBOY: Your career choices in recent 
years, as an actor and as a director, don't 
show much of a pattern. You don't seem 


to say, I'm doing a comedy this year, ГЇЇ 
do an action film next year. 

EASTWOOD: I don't look for anything in 
particular. What I look for is an interest- 
ing story. I'm not sitting there saying, 
"Well, I'm looking for something to di- 
rect." With Absolute Power, Y liked the 
gimmick of the book—the guy is outside 
the law, so he can't go to the police when 
he sees a situation involving a high-up 
government official. It's a little different. 
I haven't done a suspense-oriented film 
for a while. 

PLAYBOY: Your next film is Midnight in the 
Garden of Good and Evil, which you'll di- 
rect but not appear in. What appealed to 
you about that book? 

EASTWOOD: I liked the atmosphere of 
Savannah. The central character, the 
journalist, goes down there and takes us 
on a journey. It's a town with a tremen- 
dous history and an interesting social 
structure. 

PLAYBOY When you tackle something 
that seems so outside your experience, 
do you get nervous? 

EASTWOOD: No. Half the fun of making a 
movie is doing something that's outside 
your experience. In fact, if you do some- 
thing outside your experience, you have 
a much better chance of bringing a fresh 
eye to it. 

PLAYBOY: If you look at the work of Clint 
Eastwood, director and actor, do you see 
many common threads? 

EASTWOOD: I sometimes find myself at- 
tracted to characters who are searching 
for some sort of redemption, some sort 
of reconciliation with their soul. But 1 
don't know if it's a common thread. A lot 
of the characters 1 play are outsiders, a 
lot of them are rebelling against condi- 
tions in society. A lot of the people I've 
played have been lonely for one reason 
or another, either by their own choice or 
through fate. Like in Bridges of Madison 
County. He's a loner. I seek out that sort 
of character. I guess I relate to those 
kinds of people. In terms of a story, basi- 
cally, when I look at a character 1 want 
him to have something that's bothering 
him. As in In the Line of Fire—a Secret 
Service guy is guarding the president, 
who's been threatened. That's a plot. 
But it isn't half as interesting as a Secret 
Service guy who's living with guilt be- 
cause he was guarding another presi- 
dent when that president was killed 
years ago. 

PLAYBOY. And what about your career 
disappointments? 

EASTWOOD: I've had several films that 
were disappointing. Some were risky to 
begin with, and I knew the odds were 
against them. I suppose Honkytonk Man 
and Bird would be included in that 
group. There was Paint Your Wagon. 1 did 
that in the Seventies. That was just a 
big waste of money and effort. A bla- 
tant waste. 

PLAYBOY: Don Siegel, who directed you in 
Dirty Harry, once said, "You can't push 


ү 


Clockwise from top left thats Jack Daniel Jess Mollow, Lem Tolley, Frank Bobo and Jess Gamble. (mm/s in the middle) 


JACK DANIEL’S HEAD DISTILLER, Jimmy 
Bedford, has lots of folks looking over his shoulder. 


Since 1866, we've had only six head distillers. 
(Every one a Tennessee boy, starting with 
Mr. Jack Daniel himself.) Like those before 
him, Jimmy's mindful of our traditions, 
such as the oldtime way we smooth our 
whiskey through 10 feet of hard maple 
charcoal. He knows Jack Daniel’s 
drinkers will judge him with every 
sip. So he’s not about to change a 
thing. The five gentlemen on his 
wall surely must be pleased 

about that. 


SMOOTH SIPPIN’ 
TENNESSEE WHISKEY 


Tennessee Whiskey + 40-43% alcohol by volume (80:86 prooi) + Distiled and Bottled by 
Jack Danel Dstilery, Lem Motlow, Proprietor, Reute 1, Lynchburg (Pop 361), Tennessee 37352 
Placed in the National Regsster of Historic Places by the United States Government, 


63 


PIL AGIT B TOUY 


Clint. Its very dangerous. For a guy 
who's as cool as he is, there are times 
when he has a violent temper." 
EASTWOOD: I don't know if I have a vio- 
lent temper. I don't think I do at this 
stage in my life. But, yeah, certain things 
bug mc, and I get as bugged as the next 
person. 

PLAYBOY: Give an example. 

EASTWOOD: It happens once a picture. If 
you can go through a movie and lose 
your temper only once or twice, you're 
lucky. On the set of Absolute Power we 
were trying to get this particular scene 
done, and everything was falling apart. 
People were talking on the radios and 
everyone looked like they were walking 
around chasing their tails. I just let go. I 
didn't say, “Hey, you're all fired." I just 
let everybody know I was unhappy at 
that moment. 

PLAYBOY: Meryl Streep has echoed what 
lots of other people have said about you. 
She said your set is the quietest she's 
ever worked on and that you work so un- 
nervingly fast that the rehearsal may end 
up in the film. 

EASTWOOD: Yeah, I know. 1 don't think 
that’s a particularly bad reputation to 
have in a business that loves excess so 
much. 1 do like a quiet set. I think it's 
better for the actors. I don't depend on 
nervous energy or insecurity to drive the 
wagon ahead. 1 believe there's a comfort 
zone in which actors work best, and if 
you keep that atmosphere, actors will 
sometimes do something brilliant during, 
rehearsal. That doesn't mean I'll use itin 
a picture, but I might. I remember when 
Meryl saw Bridges of Madison County. She 
said, "You know what I love? You used all 
my mistakes, too." And I said, “Yeah, but 
they were genuine mistakes.” They were 
human mistakes, not an actor's mistakes. 
"They are more like real life. 

PLAYBOY: You were married more than 25 
years to your first wife. What happened? 
EASTWOOD: We just separated. We were 
separated for ten years of that marriage. 
PLAYBOY: What is your relationship with 
herlike now? 

EASTWOOD: We're in business together— 
we have a partnership in a restaurant 
and some properties. We get along ter- 
rifically. She lives in this arca and we talk 
a lot, and naturally we have certain 
things in common, because we bave two 
children. We see each other at events 
and get along much better than when we 
were marricd. 

PLAYBOY: You received a lot of media at- 
tention about the situation with Sondra 
Locke. 

EASTWOOD: I know. 1 guess maybe I'm 
the only one who finds it weird that she's 
still obsessed with our relationship and 
putting out the same old rhetoric almost 
ten years later. But I always think it’s best 
to take the high road and not get in- 
volved with that. There are two sides to 
this whole thing. And I've endured a lot 


64 of sensationalist reporting, people mak- 


ing up things out of thin air. She's been 
married for 29 years, but nobody puts 
that in their stories. She never wanted 
children, so she had a tubal ligation, 
which women opt for mostly after 
they've had children. I've been accused 
of forcing that on her—if anybody be- 
lieves that. 

PLAYBOY: She accused you of forcing her 
to have a tubal ligation? 

EASTWOOD: Yeah. It's constantly thrown 
out there—some tabloid called me about 
it the other day, or called my agent about 
it. But it's the same old stuff, and you get 
on with your life. It's kind of unfortu- 
nate. She plays the victim very well. Un- 
fortunately, she had cancer and so she 
plays that card. But every time these 
things come up, it makes me knock on 
wood that I'm here and not there. 
PLAYBOY: Do the tabloids drive you crazy? 
EASTWOOD: With the tabloids it's a kind 
of lazy journalism. They don't really 
want to know your story; they prefer to 
write about Clint Eastwood and the ac- 
cusations against him. They regurgitate 
this stuff. As far as the legal action with 
Sondra goes, it was my fault. I have to 


It's the same old stuff, 
and you get on with 
your life. It's kind of 
unfortunate. She plays the 


victim very well. 


take full responsibility because 1 thought 
I was doing her a favor by helping her 
get a production arrangement with War- 
ner Bros. I prevailed upon Warner Bros. 
to do it and it didn't work out. So she 
sued Warner and then she sued me and 
finally at some point I said, Wait a sec- 
ond, I would have been better off if I 
hadr't done anything and had let her go 
ahead and file the palimony suit against 
me. I tried to help. 1 thought she would 
get directing assignments, but it didn't. 
work out that way. So her attorney ac- 
cused me of going into collusion vith 
Warner Bros. and said that they pur- 
posely didn't want her to do anything. I 
should have known that it would never 
work out, that it would come back to 
haunt me. Even if it had worked out, it 
would have come back to haunt me, be- 
cause you don't know if somebody is 
ever going to be satisfied. 

PLAYBOY: She said the breakup, after all 
those years, was sudden. 

EASTWOOD: It wasn't sudden. I mean, it 
was sudden, but it had been coming 
along for some time. She has a husband. 
He's gay and was having problems with 
one of his friends, so she was getting 


drawn into it all the time. She was con- 
stantly on the phone and couldn't go 
anywhere, and pretty soon we just grew 
apart. She was busy trying to solve his 
problems and we didn't spend that 
much time together. I decided I was 
tired of it. That's the way things happen 
sometimes. It was an unhcalthy exis- 
tence, and I didn't want any part of it. 
My son vas living with me in Los Ange- 
les at the time, and I just wanted to be 
with my family. I didn't want to be with 
someone who had some strange thing 
going on. And I don't mind what any- 
body does, but when it's affecting me 
and my family relationships, then I have 
to do something. 
PLAYBOY: Her husband is gay? 
EASTWOOD: She admitted that during the 
trial. They were buddies from school 
days or something. 1 mean, it’s just a dif- 
ferent scene. I can't explain it without. 
going into a. . .. I mean, your eyes might 
not stay in their sockets. They're liable to 
come too far out of your head. They 
were pals when they were kids, and they 
both believe in fairy tales and call each 
other Hobbit and stuff like that. And so 
they hang out together, and I guess she's 
supportive of him and he's supportive of 
her, and somehow they feed each other. 
She didn’t like my son living with me 
and it just got messy. It just wasn't the 
kind of existence I wanted. 
PLAYBOY: Do you feel burned by the 
whole thing? 
EASTWOOD: Yeah, I guess so. But you go 
on about your business. I'm going on 
with my life, and if other people can't get 
on with theirs, that's their problem. 
PLAYBOY: How is your relationship with 
Franccs Fisher? Is it friendly? 
EASTWOOD: Good, ycah. It's friendly. 
PLAYBOY: You have a child with her? 
EASTWOOD: Yes. 
PLAYBOY: Was the breakup acrimonious? 
EASTWOOD: We were just having a rough 
time getting along. 1 love the child, she 
loves the child. We have that together. 
Frances is a fine actress. Very successful. 
Hardworking. I give her a lot of credit. 
We had a nice relationship, but it was 
never meant to go to marriage. 
PLAYBOY: Is it complicated having a seri- 
ous relationship with an actress, espe- 
cially if you're a director? 
EASTWOOD: Yes, it is. Very complicated. 
Ivs better just to hire people and work 
with people. But if you're with an ac- 
tress, especially if you're a director with a 
certain amount of control, there’s some- 
times a resentment if you hire somebody 
else. The attitude is, “Am I not good 
enough for you to hire me?” Of course it 
has nothing to do with ability; it has to 
do with how you see the project. 
PLAYBOY: So if you want to cast The 
Bridges of Madison County —— 
EASTWOOD: Exactly. She would have 
loved to play the part Meryl played. 
PLAYBOY: Was that an issue? 

(continued on page 162) 


WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PLAYBOY? 


He's a man with energy. In the bedroom or the boardroom, he likes to feel fit and look sharp. That's 
his style. That's why PLAYBOY men spent $680 million on health and grooming aids last year, 
more than the male readers of Men's Health and Esquire combined. PLAYBOY reaches more than 
5 million men who use aftershave or cologne. Whether you're starting a terrific night or be- 
ginning a great day, PLAYBOY helps reflect you at your very best. (Source: 1996 Spring MRI.) 


frank poole's last memory was of 
spinning helplessly in space 
outside the discovery. 

now he is awake again—a 


thousand years into his own future 


>lerlein EE 


ARTHUR C. CLARKE 


not remember. He was not even 
sure of his name. 

Obviously, he was in a hospital 

‚en though his eyes were 
osed, the most primitive 
and evocative of his senses told 
him that. Each breath broug 
the faint and not unpleasant tang 
ofantiseptics in the air. 

Now it was all beginning to 
come back. I'm Deputy Com- 
mander Frank Poole, executiv 
officer, USSS Discovery, on a top 
secret mission to Jupiter 

It seemed as if an icy hand had 
gripped his heart. He reme 
bered, in slow-motion playbac 
that runaway space pod jetting 
toward him, metal claws out- 
stretched. Then the silent im- 
pact—and the not-so-silent hiss of 
air rushing out of his suit. After 
that—one last memory, of spin- 
ning helplessly in space, trying 
in vain to reconnect his broken 
air hose. 

Whatever mysterious accident 
had happened to the space-pod 


ILLUSTRATION BY DDNATO GIANCOLA 


PLAYBOY 


controls, he was safe now. Presumably 
Dave Bowman had made a quick EVA 
and rescued him before the lack of 
oxygen could do permanent brain 
damage. 

His confused train of thought-was 
abruptly broken by the arrival of a ma- 
tron and two nurses wearing the im- 
memorial uniform of their profession. 
They seemed a little surprised: Poole 
wondered if he had awakened ahead of 
schedule, and the idea gave him a 
childish feeling of satisfaction. 

“Hello!” he said after several at- 
tempts; his vocal cords appeared to be 
very rusty. “How am I doing?” 

The matron smiled back at him and 
gave an obvious “Don't try to talk” 
command by putting a finger to her 
lips. Then the two nurses fussed swiftly 
over him with practiced skill, checking 
pulse, temperature, reflexes. When 
one of them lifted his right arm and let 
it drop again, Poole noticed something 
peculiar. It fell slowly and did not seem 
to weigh as much as normal. Nor, for 
that matter, did his body, when he at- 
tempted to move. 

So I must be on a planet, he thought. 
Or a space station with artificial grav- 
ity. Certainly not Earth—I don't weigh 
enough. 

He was about to ask the obvious 
question when the matron pressed 
something against the side of his neck. 
He felt a slight tingling sensation and 
sank back into a dreamless sleep. Just 
before he became unconscious, he had 
time for one more puzzled thought: 

How odd—they never spoke a single 
word all the time they were with me. 

When he woke again and found the 
matron and nurses standing around 
his bed, Poole felt strong enough to as- 
sert himself. 

"Where am I? Surely you can tell me 
that" 

The three women then exchanged 
glances, obviously uncertain about 
what to do next. The matron an- 
swered, enunciating slowly and care- 
fully: "Everything is fine, Mr. Poole. 
Professor Anderson will be here in a 
minute. He will explain." 

Explain what? thought Poole with 
some exasperation. But at least she 
speaks English, even though I can't 
place her accent. 

Anderson must have been already 
on his way, for the door opened mo- 
ments later to give Poole a glimpse of a 
small crowd of inquisitive onlookers 
peering in at him. He began to feel like 
a new exhibit at a zoo. 

Professor Anderson was a small, dap- 
per man whose features seemed to 
have combined key aspects of several 
races—Chinese, Polynesian, Nordic— 
in a thoroughly confusing fashion. He 
greeted Poole by holding up his right 


palm, then did an obvious double take 
and shook hands with such curious 
hesitation that he might have been 
rehearsing some quite unfamiliar 
gesture. 

“Glad to see you're looking so well, 
Mr. Poole. We'll have you up in no 
time." 

Again that odd accent and slow de- 
livery—but the confident bedside man- 
ner was that of all doctors, in all places 
and all ages. 

“I'm glad to hear it. Now perhaps 
you can answer a few questions." 

“ОЁ course, of course. But just a 
minute." 

Anderson spoke so rapidly and qui- 
etly to the matron that Poole managed 
to catch only a few words, several 
of which were wholly unfamiliar to 
him. Then the matron nodded at one 
of the nurses, who opened a wall cup- 
board and produced a slim metal band, 
which she proceeded to wrap around 
Poole's head. 

“What's that for?" he asked—being 
one of those difhcult patients, so an- 
noying to doctors, who always want to. 
know just whar's happening to them. 
“EEG readout?" 

Professor the matron and nurses 
looked equally baffied. Then a slow 
smile spread across Anderson's face. 

"Oh—electro . . .enceph ... alo... 
gram," he said slowly, 2s if dredging 
the word up from the depths of his 
memory. “You’re quite right. We just 
want to monitor your brain functions." 

My brain would function perfectly 
well if you'd let me use it, Poole grum- 
bled silently. But at least we seem to be 
getting somewhere—finally. 

"Mr. Poole," said Anderson, still 
speaking in that curious stilted voice, as 
if venturing into a foreign language, 
"you know, of course, that you were . . 
disabled . . . in a serious accident while 
you were working outside Discovery." 

Poole nodded agreement. 

“I'm beginning to suspect," he said 
dryly, "that “disabled” may be a slight 
understatement.” 

Anderson relaxed visibly, and a slow 
smile spread across his face. 

“You're quite correct. Tell me what 
you think happened.” 

“Well, the best-case scenario is that, 
after I became unconscious, Daye Bow- 
man rescued me and brought me back 
to the ship. How is Dave? No one will 
tell me anything!” 

“All in due course—and the worst 
case?” 

It seemed to Frank Poole that a chill 
wind was blowing gently on the back 
of his neck. The suspicion that had 
been slowly forming in his mind began 
to solidify. 

“That I died but was brought back 
here—wherever here is—and you've 


been able to revive me. Thank you. ...” 

“Quite correct. And you're back on 
Earth. Well, very near it.” 

What did he mean by “very near it"? 
"There was certainly a gravity field 
here—so he was probably inside the 
slowly turning wheel of an orbiting 
space station. No matter: There was 
something much more important to 
think about. 

Poole did some quick mental calcu- 
lations. If Dave had put him in the 
Hibernaculum, revived the rest of. 
the crew and completed the mission 
to Jupiter—why, he could have been 
"dead" for as long as five years! 

“Just what date is it?" he asked as 
calmly as possible. 

Professor and the matron ex- 
changed glances. Again Poole felt that 
‚cold wind on his neck. 

“I must tell you, Mr. Poole, that Bow- 
man did not rescue you. He believed— 
and we cannot blame him—that you 
were irrevocably dead. Also, he was fac- 
ing a desperately serious crisis that 
threatened his own survival. 

"So you drifted on into space, passed 
through the Jupiter systern and head- 
ed out toward the stars. Fortunately, 
you were so far below freezing point 
that there was no metabolism—but it's 
a near-miracle that you were ever 
found at all. You are one of the luckiest 
men alive. No—ever to have lived!” 

Am I? Poole asked himself bleakly. 
Five years, indeed! It could be a centu- 
ry—or even more. 

“Let me have it," he demanded. 

Professor and the matron seemed to 
be consulting an invisible monitor: 
When they looked at each other and 
nodded agreement, Poole guessed that 
they were all plugged into the hospital 
information circuit linked to the head- 
band he vas wearing. 

“Frank,” said Anderson, making a 
smooth switch to the role of longtime 
family physician, “this will be a great 
shock to you, but you're capable of ac- 
cepting it—and the sooner you know, 
the better. 

“We're near the beginning of the 
fourth millennium. Believe me—you 
left Earth almost a thousand years ago." 

"I believe you," Poole answered 
calmly. Then, to his great annoyance, 
the room started to spin around him, 
and he knew nothing more. 


Despite her name, Doctor Indra 
Wallace's chief racial component ap- 
peared to be Japanese. She was the first 
visitor with a fluent command of 
Poole's own English, so he was delight- 
ed to meet her. 

“Mr. Poole,” she began in a very busi- 
nesslike voice, "I've been appointed 
your official guide and, let's say, your. 


- you know the vest." 


“He speaks softly and . . 


PLAYBOY 


70 


mentor. My qualifications—I've spe- 
cialized in your period—my thesis was 
The Collapse of the Nation-State, 2000- 
2050. 1 believe we can help each other 
in many ways." 

“Tm sure we can. First, I'd like you 
to get me out of here, so I can see a lit- 
Че of your world." 

“Exactly what we intend to do. But 
first we must give you an Ident. Until 
then you'll be a—what was the term?— 
nonperson. It would be almost impos- 
sible for you to go anywhere or get any- 
thing done. No input device would 
recognize your existence.” 

Indra walked over to a small rectan- 
gular plate, set at eye level in the door. 
She laid the palm of her hand on the 
plate, then removed it after a few sec- 
onds. She glanced at Poole, and said 
smilingly, “Come and look at this.” 

The inscription that had suddenly 
appeared made a good deal of sense 
when he read it slowly: 

WALLACE, INDRA 

[Е2970.03.11/31.885//ніѕт.ох 
rorD//*/1) 

^I suppose it means female, date of 
birth 11 March 2970—and that you're 
associated with the Department of His- 
tory at Oxford. And I guess that 31.885 
is a personal identification number. Is 
that correct?" 

“Excellent, Mr. Poole. As you see, it's 


“Yes—nanochip at birth, one in each 
palm for redundancy. You won't even 
feel yours when they go in. But you've 
given us a small problem." 

"What's that?" 

“The readers you'll meet most of the 
time are too simpleminded to believe 
your date of birth. So, with your per- 
mission, we've moved it up a thousand 
years. And now, Frank, Professor An- 
derson thinks you're strong enough to 
go for a little walk." 

“I'm very pleased to hear it. 
know the expression 'stir crazy 

“No, but I can guess what it means." 

Poole had so adapted to the low 
gravity that the long strides he was tak- 
ing seemed perfectly normal. Half a g, 
he had estimated—just right to give a 
sense of well-being. Poole had foliowed 
Indra for perhaps 200 meters when he 
came to a halt, shocked because he had 
not realized something so blindingly 
obvious. 

"This space station must be enor- 
mous!" he exclaimed. 

Indra smiled back at him. 

"Didn't you have a saying— You ain't 
seen anything yet?” 

“Nothing,” he said, correcting her 
absentmindedly. He was still trying to 
estimate the scale of this structure 
when he had another surprise. Who 
would have imagined a space station 


you 


large enough to boast a subway—ad- 
mittedly а miniature one, with a single 
small coach that is capable of seating 
only a dozen passengers? 

"Observauon Lounge Three," or- 
dered Indra, and they drew silently 
and swiftly away from the terminal. 

As far as Poole could judge by the 
speed and the elapsed tirne, they must 
have traveled at least three kilometers 
before the vehicle came to a silent stop, 
the doors opened and a bland zu- 
tovoice intoned, "Have a good view. 
Thirty-five percent cloud cover today.” 

At last, thought Poole, we're getting 
near the outer wall. But here was an- 
other mystery: Despite the distance he 
had gone, neither the strength nor the 
direction of gravity had altered! He 
could not imagine a spinning space sta- 
tion so huge that the g vector would 
not be changed by such a displace- 
ment. Could he really be on some plan- 
et after all? But he would feel lighter— 
usually much lighter—on any other 
habitable world in the solar system. 

When the outer door of the terminal 
opened and Poole found himself enter- 
ing a small air lock, he realized he must 
indeed be in space. But where were the 
space suits? He looked around anx- 
iously: It was against all his instincts to 
be so close to a vacuum, naked and un- 
Protected. One experience of that was 
enough.“We’re nearly there.” Indra 
said reassuringly. 

The last door opened, and he was 
looking out into the utter blackness of 
space through a huge window that was 
curved both vertically and horizontally. 
He felt like a goldfish in a bowl, and he 
hoped the designers of this audacious 
piece of engineering knew exactly what 
they were doing. They certainly pos- 
sessed better structural materials than 
had existed in his time. 

"Though the stars must have been 
shining out there, his light-adapted 
eyes could see nothing but black empti- 
ness beyond the curve of the great win- 
dow. As he started to walk toward it to 
get a wider view, Indra restrained him 
and pointed straight ahead. 

"Look carefully" she said. "Now do 
you see it?" 

Poole blinked, and stared into the 
night. It must be an illusion—even, 
heaven forbid, a crack in the window! 

He moved his head from side to side. 
No, it was real. But what could it be? 
He remembered Euclid’s definition: “A 
line has length but no breadth.” 

For spanning the whole height of the 
window, and obviously continuing out 
of sight above and below, was a thread 
of light quite easy to see when he 
looked for it, yet so one-dimensional 
that the word thin could not even be 
applied. However, it was not complete- 
lyfeatureless: There were barely visible 


spots of greater brilliance at irregular 
intervals along its length, like drops of 
water on a spider's web. 

Poole continued walking toward the 
window, and the view expanded until 
at last he could see what lay below him. 
It was familiar enough; the whole con- 
tinent of Europe and much of north- 
ern Africa, just as he had seen them 
many times from space. So he was in 
orbit after all—probably an equatorial 
one, at a height of at least a thousand 
kilometers. 

Indra was looking at him with a 
quizzical smile. 

“Go closer to the window,” she said 
softly, “so that you can look straight 
down. Ihope you have a good head for 
heights.” 

What a silly thing to say to an as- 
tronaut, Poole told himself as he 
moved forward. If I suffered from ver- 
tigo I wouldn't be in this business. 

The thought had barely passed 
through his mind when he cried “My 
God!” and involuntzrily stepped back 
from the window. Then, bracing him- 
self, he dared to look again. 

Hc was looking down on the distant 
Mediterranean from the face ofa cylin- 
drical tower, whose gently curving wall 
indicated a diameter of several kilome- 
ters. But that was nothing compared 
with its length, for it tapered away 
down. down. down—until it disap- 
peared into the mists somewhere over 
Africa. He assumed that it continued 
all the way to the surface. 

"How high are we?" he whispered. 

"Two thousand k. But now take a 
look upward,” 

This time it was not such a shock; he 
had expected what he would see. The 
tower dwindled away until it became a 
glittering thread against the blackness 
of spacc, and he did not doubt that it 
continued all the way to the geostation- 
ary orbit, 36,000 kilometers above the 
equator. Such fantasies had been well 
known in Poole’s day, yet he had never 
dreamed he would see the reality—and 
be living in it. 

He pointed toward the distant 
thread reaching up from the eastern 
horizon. 

“That must be another one." 

"Yes—the Asia Tower. We must look. 
exacily the same to them. 

"How many are there?" 

"Just four, equally spaced around the 
equator. Africa, Asia, America, Pacifica. 
The last one's almost empty—only a 
few hundred levels were completed. 
Nothing to see from that height except 
water." 

Poole was still absorbing this stupen- 
dous concept when a disturbing 
thought occurred to him 

“There were already thousands of 

(continued on page 84) 


PLAYMATE REVISITED: 


SHARRY KONOPSKI 


rniss august 1987 blends glamour with guts 


n 1987, when she was shooting her centerfold at Playboy Studio West, Sharry Konop- 
ski met a young woman named Ellen Stohl, who was also posing for the magazine. 
Sharry was overwhelmed by Ellen, a spunky paraplegic who had been injured in an 


auto accident. “I was really shy,” she recalls, *: 


nd Ellen's personality was so forceful that 
she kind of scared me.” After their pictorials appeared, the two young women went 


their separate ways. Sharry returned to rural Washington State, where she married and 


“I'd never worn false eyelashes before, and doing this shoot, | felt like Norma Desmond in Sun- 
set Boulevard: ‘I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille.’ But | wanted to be a temptress. Couldn't 
they put me in a leather outfit with a bullwhip? Pam Anderson gets to do all the good stuff.” 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY ARNY FREYTAG 


fi 


71 


72 


had two children (Spencer, 
now eight, and Siera, six). In 
1995, a tragedy similar to 
Ellen's struck Sharry. On what 
she describes as "a really bad 
April Fool's Day," she was 
driving home from work 
when three deer suddenly ap- 
peared in the road. She 
swerved, hit loose gravel and 
rolled her Mustang. 

“I lay out in the woods all 
thar night” Sharry recalls, 
"and God and I had a few 
choice words. The staff in the 
trauma unit at the hospital 
where 1 was taken told me 
that if Fd been out there an- 
other 20 minutes, or if the 
temperature had bcen a few 
degrees lower, I would have 
died." She is paralyzed from 
the spinal cord injuries she 
suffered and will never walk 
unassisted again. 

“I just picked myself up, 
dusted myself off and am con- 
tinuing on,” says Sharry to- 
day. “I'm giving safety talks to 
local students, telling them 
what happened to me, how I 
survived the trauma and how 
to prevent injuries.” One 
thing she has learned is that 
“the only thing that you can 
really count on is change.” 
One such change: Her mar- 
riage is breaking up. "Some 
people can't deal with adversi- 
ty," she observes. "My hus- 
band is a wonderful father, 


Trainer Steve Mansfield helps Sharry build strength. “ tell 
people my jeans are by Armani but my body is by Steve,“ 
she says. Recent spinal-injury research on rats shows 
promise, and Sharry was asked if she'd like to participate in 
future human trials. "I said, ‘Sign me up. I'll wear a big rat 
suit and eat however much cheese is required.’ I'd make the 
rat costume, if | got some help with the sewing machine.” 


but sometimes things just don't work out." Meanwhile, Sharry gets on with her 
life, with a little help from her fans—and from PLAYBOY, which sponsored a 
fund-raiser for her in Los Angeles (among the guests: Ellen Stohl). She works 


“What everybady wants to know is, can 1 have 
sex? | tell them yes, І can have sex. Yes, 1 con 
get pregnont. But it takes c special person to 
be my partner. He hos іо be compassionate 
and understanding, because sex with me hos 
to be a litle more choreographed. It's not go- 
ing to be o boby-oil wrestling match. One time 
1 heard с cartoonist who's disabled soy there 
cre advantages to being paralyzed, like get- 
ting good porking places. The best part, he 
said, is that yau no langer have to work too 
hard when you have sex. | just howled.” 


out with trainer Steve Mansfield, building strength in her upper body so she can manipulate a set of braces. After stories 
about her plight appeared in regional newspapers, Robert Owens, an orthotist in Salem, Oregon, donated his time to build 


braces for her. With their aid, Sharry took her first steps on October 21, 1996. Things, she says, are definitely looking up. 


X $e уел Cex i$ 
жыт Че 


3 7 ANI 
some of © ha Ha NS? 


il». 7 
the most romantic f С 

| relationships ym Y 
get launched 


in bed 


ies and more practiced in 
are 


asing each other, they es- 
n intimacy that will in- 


s a while to get it right, A 
‚part of the experience. Wo 
out the will pay dividends in t 
ture. Even bad sex has its rewards. 
You can experience the most awesome 
aspects of new sex once you learn how to 
deal with hot crushes, how to feel uninhib- 
ited with a new partner and how to over- 
come performance problems. 
As a sex educator, I have inter- 
viewed thousands of people. When 
the subject turns to mind-blow- 
ing sex, a common source is 
lust at first sight. Women like 
to feel swept away by the 
passion of such meetings. 
т A friend of mine says the 
wo Gy Sari Tels ME E aimee 
a { ock was the time she met a 
er guy on the subway. They 
struck up a flirtatious 
conversation, then de- 
{ cided to get off at the 
* same stop. After having. 
coffee together, they 
went for a long walk 
and spent the rest 
of the day togeth- 
er, That night 
they went to his 
place and had 
sex. “I was to- 
e tally ravenous 
and aggressive,” 
she told me. “1 


«il, 


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PLAYBOY 


78 


put my mouth all over his body. I think 
if I had known him better I wouldn't 
have been so uninhibited." I believe 
they had a great encounter because 
they were rapped up in the risk and 
uncertainty of acting on impulse, 
which brings me to my first topic- 


IMPULSE SHOPPING AROUND 


It’s not uncommon for people to feel 
aroused when they're convinced they 
have found destiny with a stranger. A 
woman once told me about going to a 
party and hitting it off with a guy she 
had just met. They started making out 
in a not-so-secluded corner. On the 
ride home, she discovered that he was 
much younger than she and that he 
was the son ofa vice president at her 
workplace. While she says that she had 
no idea of his lineage when they were 
making out, she later realized that 
there was a familiarity about his face 
that did make her feel comfortable 
with him. 

There may not be such a thing as 
destiny—but it's still hot to feel an in- 
stant attraction for a stranger. As long 
as you feel that undeniable heat, you 
don't have to worry about where it's 
coming from. Bonding with someone 
slightly mysterious is the stuff of fan- 
tasies. A single woman I interviewed 
told me that on Friday nights she often 
masturhates to sleep with the fantasy of 
having sex with a stranger. On those 
nights, she says, she is assured of a 
good time. Because she had always en- 
Joyed the fantasy, she decided to act on 
it. So she went to a bar, picked up a guy 
and had sex with him. She was disap- 
pointed—the sex was awkward and un- 
comfortable. However, knowing that 
she could pick up someone only made 
her fantasy stronger—she still mastur- 
bates to it on Friday nights. 

Men also report that anonymous sex 
can be a bummer. Many are concerned 
with the repercussions: "She says she is 
cool with casual sex," men say, "but 
how can I trus: that she won't pursue 
me?" Men worry that the women vill 
want a relationship. In fact, it may not 
be AIDS that scares people most about 
sex with strangers—it's psychotic stalk- 
ers. Maybe I watch too many made-for- 
TV movies, but I think more people 
are afraid of getting robbed or even 
killed during a one-night stand than 
getting an STD or getting pregnant. 


RHETORICAL QUESTIONS. 


You have no doubt heard a million 
times that communication is an impor- 
tant aspect of a new relationship, but it 
isn't everything. No matter how much 
you talk, you'll know if you're physical- 
ly compatible only by having sex. If 
you're not, you have two options: You 
can (1) choose to break up or (2) work 


on your sex life. So why not find out 
early? People get comfortable with sex; 
psychological closeness follows physical 
closeness. Sex is a creative way to get to 
know someone. 

Now, I'm nor telling you not to talk 
when you're ready. But often, people 
try to settle relationship issues before 
they put the work into having good 
sex. They get waylaid by whether to 
commit to each other, the length of 
past relationships, how much free time 
they have, whether or not they want to 
meet each other's friends. 

You can maintain the excitement of a 
new relationship by allowing your part- 
ner to learn about you from experi- 
ence, not from rhetoric. About a year 
ago, I went to dinner with a man I had 
met on an airplane. We were discussing 
our backgrounds, when out of no- 
where he started talking about sex. Be- 
fore the appetizer had arrived, he had 
given me his entire sexual history, com- 
plete with the names of the four wom- 
en he'd slept with and details such as 
"She had to be on top to come." 
Baffled, I confronted him by saying, "I 
never asked." He said, "I thought 
you'd like me more because I haven't 
slept with that many women.” What 
a turnoff. Sure, it was nice that he 
hadn't been with 500 women, but it was 
ridiculous for him to tell me about his 
sexual past without me so much as 
asking about his previous girlfriend. 
Forget sex—we never went on a sec- 
ond date. 

We all tend to talk about how bro- 
ken-hearted we were at one time. Bela- 
bor the point, and you won't come 
across as being sensitive, you'll come 
across as a jerk. Don't talk about your 
exes—she'll get jealous and obsess 
about them. Some of the things I've 
heard men tell women—such as “Гуе 
never been in love” or “I need a lot of 
women, so I can't commit"—are in- 
sanely put and badly timed. Instead, 
express yourself physically: Stroke 
her arm as she talks to you. Pull her 
close. Smile. 


TALKING CONDOMS 


A turning point in new relationships 
usually occurs when a couple first dis- 
cusses condom use. You do not need to 
discuss details of past partners. People 
lie—so always use a condom. In my 
book, Mind-Blowing Sex in the Real 
World, 1 point to some interesting statis- 
tics. A study of college students found 
that more than 50 percent of those in- 
fected with an STD reported they had 
unprotected sex while they knew they 
were infected, and nearly a quarter of 
them lied to their partners about it. 
Whether or not you can transmit or re- 
ceive a disease is not necessarily about 
the past. It’s about you and your new 


lover in the present. Will you use con- 
doms effectively? Will either of you 
cheat? These questions are for today 
and the future. 

Never say, “I don't want to use a con- 
dom because I want to feel you." It 
makes the woman think you are try- 
ing to manipulate her into risky sex. 
Rather, say, "I want to and will use a 
condom, but ГЇЇ be imagining that it's 
skin on skin.” 


DON'T BUM RUSH THE SHOW 


Rushing through the main event isa 
mistake many people make during first 
times together. Think of it this way: 
Most guys like to fantasize about dif- 
ferent women—mostly women they 
haven't been with. Well, a first time is 
what you've been dreaming about. 
Doesn't that make it worth doing for a 
while? After all—and this is for all the 
guys who say wham-bam-thank-you- 
mam—you shouldn't try to sleep with 
someone just to add her to your mental 
scrapbook. You can always masturbate, 
but how many times do you get to sleep 
with a new woman? 

The first time you have sex, let the 
desire linger. Get her hot, wet and 
ready before you penetrate her. Tease 
her. Massage her thighs. Rub her ass. 
Lick and nibble her labia. Stroke her 
vulva. Put the head of your penis at the 
entrance to her vagina, exert a tiny bit 
of pressure so she thinks you're going 
in, then move away and start kissing 
her neck, her chest and all the way 
down her body again. Make her want 
you more than she could possibly 
imagine. Make her beg to have you in- 
side her. Women who have experi- 
enced this have all told me the same 
thing: “My whole body was shaking. I 
wanted him so badly.” 

Make the first moment of penetra- 
tion memorable: Say her name or give 
her a long, slow kiss at the same time. 
Women have said to me, “I will never 
forget the first time with him. He held 
my face in his hands and looke 
my eyes as he entered me. He sli 
slowly. 1 gasped. Then he kissed me 
once he was all the way in. He made me 
remember that moment. With so many 
other guys, I was just lying there, star- 
ing at the ceiling.” 


USE THE FORCE, LUKE 


Realistically, there are times when 
new sex is incredibly awkward. Try to 
redirect the nervousness into intensi- 
ty. Remember that if there weren't a 
chance of failure, it wouldn't be so ex- 
citing. Awkward is as awkward docs— 
try to act like you know what you're 
doing. If you panic and begin to think, 
I can't cope with this yast wasteland 
of pubic hair, remember that you're 

(continued on page 90) 


“My new boyfriend is an insomniac. There’s something to be said for 
a man who's up all night." 


Forget while shirts and rep ties. In- 

stead, wear a navy pin-striped suit by 

Etro (51050) with a lavender spread- 

collar shirt by Charvet ($295) and a 

matching iridescent tie by Tommy Hil- 

7 i figer (about $40). Other vibrant elo- 

ments to perk up a predictable 

WHEN IT COMES TO JAZZING wardrobe include elockwise from top 
right): striped socks by Gene Meyer 

(518); lace-ups by Salvatore Ferra- 

UP TRADITIONAL TAILORING gamo ($395); a spread-callar shirt by 
Etro ($140); textured tie from Lorenzini 


THIS SPRING, FLAUNT : (about $100), Tino Cosma (70) and 

j: Etro ($85); a mesh-band 18-kt.-gold 
B YOUR FASHION SENSE ¿ES 
a 


watch by Georg Jensen (52500); an: 
ique eyeglasses from Retrospecs 


S ($395); a French-cuff shirt by Gene 
EN Meyer (5148) and 18-kt.-gold-and- 


AND 60 FOR THE BOLD Ё 23 4 coral cuff links by Verdura (51800). 


Fashion By 
Nee WAYNE 


‘Accessorize а classic single-breosted 
seersucker suit by Hugo Boss ($695) 
with а deep-toned cotton-and-nylon 

buttondown shirt by Calvin Klein (5270) 
апа а color-blocked fie by Gene Meyer 
(560): Or add c silk pocket square by 
Tino Cosma ($20) and a poir of titanium 
glasses ($345) fitted with clip-on sun- 
glasses ($125); both by Motsudo. Alter- 
ind (below) include an iri- 

dot look by DKNY (about 

$60) and а silk patterned model by 
Joseph Abboud ($75). They're atop a 
plum:short-sleeved dress shirt 

(ils a foshionable but comfortable look 

+ this spring) by Calvin Klein ($195). 


The pastel dress shirt to теде Бу | 
Gene Meyer (5148) and the casual EE 

ric belt with leather tabs and € Brass: 

buckle is by Torino (about 530] 
stainless steel chronograph witht 


it’s only $90, by Gi 
(for left) cre a pair of suede 
ig, from To Boot New 
"by Adam Derrick ($215), and 
socks by Mountain High Hosiery (S 


Dress down a linen suit by New Repub- 
lic (5695) with an open-coller iridescent 
camp shirt by Calvin Klein ($255). Other 
accessories for great night moves in- 
clude (clockwise from top): oval-shaped 

"a A buffalo horn-rimmed eyeglesses by 
“ Jim Frevdenhaas (5675), color-blocked 
расову Gene Meyer (about $20), high- 
„у pallihed square-toed penny loafers 
[you provide the Pa alay Susan Ben- 
^ni dwo! 


pread-collartexture-patierned _ 
арат E а 


ў ). Above: 
terned shirt byltarenzini ($245) provide 
“the base for-a layered look that includes” 
lightweight V-neck sweoter by Gene 
leyer (about $115) and o woven 005 
еске tie by Charvet ($120). Wrapped ` 
around the sweater's sleeve is а Напі 
um dive watch by Vefdura ($650)... 


WHERE & HOW TO BUY ON AGEN а. 


PLAYBOY 


3001: E SE 


(continued from page 70) 


Looking down into the crystalline emptiness, he ex- 
perienced a brief moment of panic. 


satellites, at all sorts of altitudes, in my 
time. How do you avoid collisions?” 

Indra paused for a moment. “1 be- 
lieve there was a big cleanup operation 
centuries ago. There just aren't any 
satellites below the stationary orbit.” 

That made sense, Poole told himself. 
They wouldn't be needed—the four gi- 
gantic towers could provide all the fa- 
cilities once provided by thousands of 
satellites and space stations. 

“And there have never been any acci- 
dents—any collisions with spaceships 
either leaving Earth or reentering the 
atmosphere?" 

Indra shook her head 

"But they don't, anymore." She 
pointed to the ceiling. "All the space- 
ports are up there, on the outer ring. I 
believe it's been 400 years since the last. 
rocket lifted off from the surface of the 
Earth." 

Poole was still digesting this when a 
trivial anomaly caught his attention. 
His training as an astronaut had made 
im alert to anything out of the ordi- 
nary. In space, that might be a matter 
of life or death. 

The sun was out of view, high over- 
head, but its rays streaming down 
through the great window painted a 
brilliant band of light on the floor un- 
derfoot. Cutting across that band ar an 
angle was another, much fainter, one, 
so that the frame of the window threw 
a double shadow. 

Poole had to go almost down on his 
knees so that he could peer up at the 
sky. He had thought himself beyond 
amazement, but the spectacle of two 
suns left him momentarily speechless. 

“What's that?" he gasped when he 
had recovered his breath. 

*Oh—haven't you been told? That's 
Lucifer.” 

“Earth has another sun?” 

“Well, it doesn’t give us much heat, 
but it has put the moon out of business. 
Before the second mission went there 
to look for you, that was the planet 
Jupiter.” 


“There’s no need to close your eyes,” 
said the technician, who had been in- 
troduced by the pretentious title of 
brain engineer. “When setup begins, 
all your inputs will be taken over. Even 
if your eyes are open, you won't see 
anything.” 

I wonder if everyone feels as nervous 
as this, Poole asked himself. Is this the 


last moment I'll be in control of my 
own mind? Still, I've learned to trust 
the technology of this age; up to now, 
it hasn't let me down. Of course, as 
the old saying goes, there is always a 
first time. 

As had been promised, he felt noth- 
ing except a gentle tickling as the myr- 
iad nanowires wormed their way 
through his scalp. All his senses were 
still perfectly normal; when he scanned 
his familiar room, everything was ex- 
actly where it should have been. 

The brainman—wearing his own 
skullcap, wired like Poole's to a piece of 
equipment that could easily have been 
mistaken for a 20th century laptop 
computer—gave him a brief reassur- 
ing smile. 

“Ready?” he asked. 

There were times when those old 
clichés were the best ones. 

“I'm as ready as I'll ever be,” Poole 
answered. 

Slowly the light faded—or seemed 
to. A great silence descended, and even 
the gentle gravity of the tower relin- 
quished its ЕЕН е инета 
bryo, floating іп а featureless void, 
though not in complete darkness. He 
had known such a barely visible, near- 
ultraviolet tenebrosity, on the very 
edge of night, only once in his life— 
when he had descended farther than 
was altogether wise down the face of a 
sheer cliff at the outer edge of the 
Great Barrier Reef, Looking down into 
hundreds of meters of crystalline 
emptiness, he had felt such a sense of 
disorientation that he experienced a 
brief moment of panic and had almost 
triggered his buoyancy unit before re- 
gaining control. Needless to say, he 
never mentioned the incident to the 
Space Agency physicians. 

From a great distance, a voice spoke 
out of the immense void that now 
seemed to surround him. Butit did not 
reach him through his ears; it sound- 
ed softly in the echoing labyrinths of 
his brain. 

“Calibration starting. From time to 
time you will be asked questions—you 
can answer mentally, but it may help to 
vocalize. Do you understand?” 

“Yes,” Poole replied, wondering if 
his lips were indeed moving. There 
was no way he could tell 

Something was appearing in the 
void—a grid of thin lines. like a huge 
sheet of graph paper. It extended up 
and down, right and left, to the limits 


of his vision. He tried to move his head, 
but the image refused to change. 

Numbers started to flicker across the 
grid, too fast for him to read—but pre- 
sumably some circuit was recording 
them. Poole could not help smiling 
(did his cheeks move?) at the familiari- 
ty of it all. This was just like the com- 
puter-driven eye examination that any 
oculist of his age would have given a 
patient. 

The grid vanished, to be replaced 
by smooth sheets of color filling his en- 
tire field of view. In a few seconds, 
they flashed from one end of the spec- 
trum to the other. “Could have told 
you that,” Poole muttered. “My color 
vision’s perfect. Next for hearing, I 
suppose.” 

He was correct. A faint drumming 
sound accelerated until it became the 
lowest of audible Cs, then raced up the 
musical scale until it disappeared be- 
yond the range of human beings, into 
bat and dolphin territory. 

That was the last of the simple, 
straightforward tests. He was briefly as- 
sailed by scents and flavors, most of 
them pleasant but some quite the re- 
verse. Then he became, or so it seemed, 
а puppet on an invisible string. 

He presumed that his neuromuscu- 
lar control was being tested, and hoped 
there were no external manifestations, 
if there were, he would probably look 
like someone in the terminal stages of 
St. Vitus’ dance. And for one moment 
he even had a violent erection but was 
unable to give it a reality check before 
he fell into a dreamless sleep. 

Or did he dream that he slept? He 
had no idea how much time had 
elapsed before he awoke. The helmet 
was gone, along with the brainman and 
his equipment. 

“Everything went fine,” the matron 
said, beaming. “It will take a few hours 
to check that there are no anomalies. If 
your reading's KO—I mean ОК. 
you'll have your braincap tomorrow. 

Poole appreciated the efforts of his 
entourage to learn archaic English, but 
he could not help wishing that the ma- 
tron had not made that unfortunate 
slip of the tongue. 

б 


When the time came for the final 
fitting, Poole felt almost like a boy 
again, about to unwrap some wonder- 
ful new toy under the Christmas tree. 

“You won't have to go through all 
that setting up again,” the brainman 
assured him. “Download will start im- 
mediately. I'll give you a five-minute 
demo. Just relax and enjoy.” 

Gentle, soothing music washed over 
him; though it was something familiar, 
from his own time, he could not identi- 
fy it. There was a mist before his eyes, 


"Don't worry about my husband. He's somewhere shooting 
a documentary film.” 


PLAYBOY 


86 


which parted as he walked toward it. 

Yes, he was walking! The illusion was 
utterly convincing. He could feel the 
impact of his feet on the ground, and 
now that the music had stopped he 
could hear a gentle vind blowing 
through the great trees that appeared 
to surround him. He recognized them 
as California redwoods and hoped that. 
they still existed in reality, somewhere 
on Earth. 

He was moving at a brisk pace—too 
fast for comfort, as if time had been 
slightly accelerated so he could cover as 
much ground as possible. Yet he was 
not conscious of any effort; he felt he 
was a guest in someone else's body. The 
sensation was enhanced by the fact that 
he had no control over his movements. 
When he attempted to stop, or to 
change direction, nothing happened. 
He was going along for the ride. 

It did not matter. He was enjoying 
the novel experience and could appre- 
ciate how addictive it could become. 
The “dream machines" that many sci- 
entists of his own century had antici- 
pated—often with alarm—were now 
part of everyday life. Poole wondered 
how mankind had managed to sur- 
vive—indeed, he had been told that 
much of it had not. Millions had been 
brain-burned and had dropped out 
of life. 

Of course. he would be immune to 
such temptations! He would use this 
marvelous tool to learn more about the 
world of the third millennium and to 
acquire in minutes new skills that 
would otherwise have taken years to 
master. Well, he might, just occasional- 
ly, use the braincap purely for fun. 

He had come to the edge of the for- 
est and was looking out across a wide 
river. Without hesitation, he walked in- 
to it and felt no alarm as the water rose 
over his head. It did seem a little 
strange that he could continue breath- 
ing naturally, but he thought it much 
more remarkable that he could see 
perfectly in a medium where the un- 
aided human eye cannot focus. He 
could count every scale on the mag- 
nificent trout that went swimming past, 
apparently oblivious to this strange 
intruder. 

A mermaid! Well, he had always 
wanted to meet one, but he had as- 
sumed they were marine creatures. 
Perhaps they occasionally went up- 
stream like salmon to have their babies. 
She was gone before he could question 
her, to confirm or deny this revolution- 
ary theory. 

The river ended in a translucent 
wall; he stepped through it onto the 
face of a desert beneath a blazing sun. 
Its heat bumed him uncomfortably, yet 
he was able to look directly into its 
noonday fury. He could even see, with 


unnatural clarity, an archipelago of 
sunspots near one limb. And—this was 
surely impossible!—there was the tenu- 
ous glory of the corona, quite invisible 
except during a total eclipse, reaching 
out like swans’ wings on either side of 
the sun. 

Everything faded to black: The 
haunting music returned, and with it 
the blissful coolness of his familiar 
room. He opened his eyes (had they 
ever been closed?) and found an expec- 
tant audience waiting for his reaction. 

“Wonderful!” he breathed almost 
reverently. “Some of it seemed, well, 
realer than real!” 

Then his engineer’s curiosity, never 
far from the surface, started nagging 
at him. 

“Even that short demo must have 
contained an enormous amount of in- 
formation. How’s it stored?” 

“In these tablets. Your audiovisual 
system uses the same, but with much 
greater capacity.” 

The brainman handed Poole a small 
square, apparently made of glass, sil- 
vered on one surface. It was almost the 
size of the computer diskettes of his 
youth but twice the thickness. As Poole 
tilted it back and forth, trying to see in- 
to its transparent interior, there were 
occasional rainbow-hued flashes, but 
that was all. 

He was holding. he realized, the end 
product of more than a thousand years 
of electro-optical technology—as well 
as other technologies unborn in his 
era. And it was not surprising that, su- 
perficially, it closely resembled the de- 
vices he had known. There was a con- 
venient shape and size for most of the 
common objects of everyday life— 
knives and forks, books, hand tools, 
furniture—and removable memories 
for computers. 

“What's its capacity?” he asked. “In 
my time, we were up to a terabyte in 
something this size. I’m sure you've 
done a lot better." 

“Not as much as you might imag- 
ine—there's a limit, of course, set by 
the structure of matter. By the way, 
what was a terabyte? I'm afraid 1 have 
forgotten." 

"Shame on you! Kilo, mega, giga, 
tera—that's ten to the twelfth bytes. 
Then the petabyte—ten to the fif- 
teenth. That's as far as I ever got.” 

"That's about where we start. It's 
enough to record everything that any 
person can experience during one 
lifetime." 

It was an astonishing thought, yet it 
should not have been so surprising 
The kilogram of jelly inside the human 
skull was not much larger than the 
tablet Poole was holding in his hand, 
and it could not possibly be as efficient 
a storage device—it had so many other 


duties to deal with. 

"And that's not all,” the brainman 
continued. *With some data compres- 
sion, it could store not only the memo- 
ries but also the actual person." 

"And reproduce him again?" 

"Of course. Straightforward job of 
nanoassembly." 

So Га heard, Poole told himself, but 
I never really believed it. 

Back in his century, it seemed won- 
derful enough that the entire lifework 
of a great artist could be stored on a 
single small disk. 

And now something no larger could 
hold the artist as well. 


"Now I've some good news. Ander- 
son has finally given his—what was the 
phrase?—OK. You're fit enough to go 
for a little trip upstairs . . . to the lunar 
level." 

"Wonderful. How far is that?" 

"Oh, about 12,000 kilometers." 

"Twelve thousand? That will take 
hours!" 

Indra looked askance at his remark, 
then she smiled. 

“Not as long as you think. No—we 
don't have a Star Trek transporter yet, 
though I believe they're working on it! 
But first you'll need new clothes, and 
someone to show you how to wear 
them. And to help yon wirh the hun- 
dreds of little everyday jobs that can 
waste so much time. So we've taken the 
liberty of arranging a human personal 
assistant for you. Come in, Danil." 

Danil was a small, light-brown man 
in his mid-30s, who surprised Poole by 
not giving him the usual palm-to-palm 
salute, with its automatic exchange of 
information. Indeed, it soon appeared 
that Danil did not possess an Ident. 
Whenever it was needed, he produced 
a small rectangle of plastic that appar- 
ently served the same purpose as the 
21st century's smart card. 

“Danil will also be your guide and— 
what was that word? I can never re- 
member. Rhymes with ballet. He's 
been specially trained for the job. rm 
sure that you will find him completely 
satisfactory." 

Though Poole appreciated this ges- 
ture, it made him feel a little uncom- 
fortable. A valet, indeed. He could not 
recall ever meeting one; in his time, 
they were already a rare and endan- 
gered species. He began to feel like a 
character from an early 20th century 
English novel. 

"You have a choice," said Indra, 
"though I know which one you'll take. 
We can go up on an external elevator 
and admire the view—or on an interior 
one and enjoy a meal and some light 
entertainment." 

(continued on page 92) 


ollywood environ- 

mental zealot Ed 

Begley Jr. drew 

snickers from status- 

conscious L.A. driv- 

ers for more than 25 
years as he motored about in glorified 
golf carts. But the rich and famous 
aren't laughing at battery-powered 
cars anymore, and neither is the man 
on the street. General Motors' new 
EVI electric vehicle has become the 
four-wheel stopper on Rodeo Drive. 
Not only is the EVI great for the envi- 
ronment (electric cars are said to be 
about 95 percent less polluting than 
vehicles with an internal combustion 
engine), it's also fun to drive. Styled 
dramatically low to the ground, it ac- 
celerates to 60 mph in 8.5 seconds, 
about the same time it takes a BMW 
318i. GM won't sell you an EVI, but 
the car is available with a 36-month 
no-money-down lease that ranges 
from $480 to $640 at 24 Saturn dealers 
in Los Angeles, San Diego, Phoenix 
and Tucson. You'll also need a home 
charger that leases for an additional 
$50 a month; installation is around 
$1000. But there is a bonus: The 
$33,995 EV1 comes with a ten percent 
federal tax credit and $5000 in tax in- 
centives for four counties in Califor- 


By KEN GROSS 


nia and financial incentives up to 
$2100 in Arizona. Carefully driven, 
the EVI is ideal for almost anyone's 
daily urban commute. A full charge 
gives you about 70 miles of city driv- 
ing or 90 miles on the highway. Top 
speed is an electronically limited 80 
mph. To operate the car, just punch in 
your private code on a keypad near 
the driver's door. Once inside, tap 
your code again on a second pad lo- 
cated on the center console, hit a 
switch labeled RUN and put the sí 
drive. The ЕУІ starts with a 
pitched whine. Pulling away, you 
won't hear any shifts because the car 
is direct-drive. Its transverse-mounted 
electric motor runs through a reduc- 
tion gear that in turn drives the front 
wheels. On the road the car's uncanny 
silence enables you to hear all sorts of 
things, such as the rustle of tires and 
the hiss of the wind, that are masked 
by the engine in a conventional auto- 
mobile. In fact, it'sa bit like flyingina 
glider. Your initial experience behind 
the wheel will probably be affected by 
the EVI's relatively short range, and 
yov'll find yourself constantly glanc- 
ing at the battery charge gauge as it 
ticks off how many miles you have 
left. Feather-footing to try to extend 
the range is a common first reaction 


GM'S EVI ELECTRIC 
SPORTS COUPE 

IS HUMMIN— 
PLUG IT IN AND 
STICK IT TO OPEC 


and not unlike trying to beat your 
personal record on a video game. 
Then you give in and enjoy the EVI's 
nimble handling and acceleration. Re- 
member, there are no valves, pistons, 
spark plugs, gas engine, transmission 
or starter to go wrong. There's no ex- 
haust system (and no expensive cat- 
alytic converter) to replace. Oil for its 
electric motor and gear drive lasts for 
life, so there are no oil or filter 
changes. But, the EV1 does have ABS 


General Motors built the EVI with a 
composite plastic body, and saved 
more weight with aluminum suspen- 
sion pieces, magnesium seat frames 
end low-rolling-resistance tires. Top 
left: A high-torque electric motor de- 
veloping 137 hp enables the EVI to hit 
60 mph in 8.5 seconds and a top speed 
of 80 mph. After traveling 70 to 90 
miles, the EV1's 26 12-volt batteries 
require a three-hour recharging. Left: 
The EVI’s cockpit features regular 
car-type controls along with mileage 
range and battery condition indica- 
tors. A T-shaped rack amidships holds 
the batteries, which is why the interior 
has a center tunnel and no backseat. 


brakes; traction control; dual air bags; 
power windows, locks and mirrors; 
and an AM/FM/cassette/CD stereo. 
Why the long wait for an effective 
electric car? The problem has been 
battery technology. Few buyers want- 
ed to lumber around town in a vehicle 
weighed down with a ton of lead-acid 
batteries. So when the federal govern- 
ment approached carmakers a few 
years ago to inquire about feasible 
electric (text concluded on page 166) 


Top right: The EVI is about ten inches 
shorter and two inches wider than a 
Saturn coupe. (At 2790 pounds, it's al- 
so about 400 pounds heavier, because 
of the car's battery pack, which weighs 
three times as much as the Saturn’s 
engine and transmission combined.) 
Right: The EV1's trunk will hold two 
golf bags or several medium-size suit- 
cases comfortably. GM is offering 36- 
month leases for about $34,000, less 
various federal and state incentives 
and credits. (You also need to lease a 
charger for $50 a month and have 
your wiring upgraded to accommodate 
220 volts.) Currently, the car is avail- 
able in red, dark green and silver blue. 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY RICHARO IZU! 


PLAYBOY 


90 


NOU GOX (continued from page 78) 


While some guys are better at oral sex than others, 
it almost never feels bad. So do it. 


actually getting laid. Tell yourself: 
C'mon, I'm blessed! 

If you start by fooling around with 
everything but intercourse, chances 
are the sex won't be so awkward the 
first time. If you tend to be clumsy, take 
your time; if you're Mr. Slick, then go 
ahead, show off. 


PREMATURE EVALUATION 


Ifyou lose your erection or come too 
soon, try to look on the positive side: It 
takes the performance anxiety off her 
shoulders. (Avoid saying, “This has 
never happened before,” which makes 
it sound like it’s her fault.) Before you 
have sex, don’t tell her you sometimes 
have problems. Keep your psyche to 
yourself. She's your lover, not your an- 
alyst. If you do come too soon or lose 
your erection, don't pretend it didn't 
happen, but don't dwell on it. Stay 
physically close. Don’t get out of bed. 
Keep your sense of humor. Your penis 
is interesting to her in all its stages. 
Think, She should be thrilled to be 
next to my naked body whether I'm 
hard or not. You lost your erection; 
you didn't lose your mind. 

A woman I know was about to bed 
down with a guy she had just met. She 
did the field test (feeling his crotch 
through his pants), and he seemed to 
have a firm package, so she couldn't 
understand why he was reluctant to 
take off his pants. Then he rushed off 
to the bathroom and was gone for a 
while, and she began worrying that 
maybe he was crazy or violent or 
strange. Turns out he vanted to ejacu- 
late once by himself before having sex 
with her—he was concerned he'd come 
too fast. Nice thought, but the problem 
is that he totally disrupted the rhythm 
they had going. If you must do this 
to feel secure, disappear while you're 
having coffee in the living room and 
jack off quickly. Or, once in the bed- 
room, have her get you off manually or 
give you oral sex. 


MAKE HER FEEL LIKE A NATURAL WOMAN 


To make early sex even better, you 
must feel good about your body and 
having her see you naked. The best 
way to do this is to be naked together as 
often as possible. Sounds good, right? 
Unfortunately, women feel more self- 
conscious about their bodies than men 
do. This means that at first you may 
have to spend more time than you'd 
like with the lights off during sex. Tell 


her what you like about her body. She 
probably won't believe you, but she'll 
enjoy hearing it. A big problem is that a 
lot of wornen don't like their breasts or 
their asses. They think their butts are 
too big or that their breasts are too 
small, too big or lopsided, or that they 
have ugly nipples. Tell her you like her 
breasts and she'll feel sexy—but don't 
argue with her if she says she has a 
problem with them. Let it go. Just say, 
“Well, I like them.” You'll be better off 
dealing in particulars: “I love that 
beautiful birthmark on your hip.” But 
if you fixate on a part of her body she 
doesn't really like, she'll think you're 
weird or too kinky. Some women aren't 
comfortable with fetishizing in the ear- 
ly stages of sex. ("How could he possi- 
bly dig my size 12 feet?”) When she re- 
laxes, then you can say, "Take off your 
shirt—1 just want to look at you." 
Concentrate on undressing her slow- 
ly the first time you have sex. Save rip- 
ping oft her clothes for a later dare. It's 
the only time that you'll be seeing and 
teelmg her body tor the hrst time. Let 
her take long looks at your body, too. 


HANDS-ON LEARNING 


Women love eye contact. If you look 
into her eyes while you are inside her 
body, it will touch her deeply. Good 
hands are important, too. Nothing 
beats mutual masturbation. It teaches 
you about her body and vice versa. It 
tells you how she likes to make love. If 
she whispers, "Try to put your whole 
hand inside," you know that—at least. 
for now—she likes vigorous thrusting. 
Likewise, if she likes lots of clitoral 
stimulation, she's probably more into 
gentle rubbing during intercourse. Al- 
so, women are fascinated by how men 
masturbate. So don't be shy in front of. 
her. You can say, "Grab my balls" or 
“just the head” or "faster," and she may 
do it during intercourse. During early 
sex, before you've mastered how and 
when she likes her clitoris rubbed, ir's 
important to touch her all over. While 
you're learning, it's not good to con- 
centrate on her clitoris. Even if you 
finally get it right, she'll be too sensitive. 
or frustrated to take advantage of it. 
Try closing your eyes and feeling the 
way her nipples react to slight pinching 
or stroking. And don't neglect that sen- 
sitive suip of skin between her vagina 
and anus. Some firm pressure and rub- 
bing will do just finc. 


TALK AINT CHEAP SEX 


Talking about what you want or what. 
she wants during sex is fine. It's beter 
to say, "Ouch, you're on my hair,” than 
it is to yank your head away. Or if you 
want your lover on top, it's usually eas- 
ier to ask than it isto swing her body on 
top of you. When it comes to talking 
dirty, make sure you are both inspired. 
Ifshe says “Ram it in me, baby" just be- 
cause she thinks it turns you on, it 
probably won't be a great sexual expe- 
rience. That's an affectation, not an ef- 
fective madness. Great sex is being to- 
tally in the moment. If it takes her a 
while to feel OK with sex talk, then ıry 
to initiate it gently. Say her name a Jot 
when you are in bed. Compliment her 
without being too blatant, and sce 
where it goes. Say, “This feels good.” 
She might encourage a more racy ex- 
change by asking, “What feels good?” 
Then you can get into specifics, 
whether it's the warmth and wetness of 
her vagina or the feeling of her mouth 
on your skin. 

A woman wants to feel free about sex 
irty. So if you get 
g free, don't 
push her to get kinky right away. A 
woman called me after she had sex 
with a guy for the first time. She said 
that while they were doing it, he said, 
“Ooh, you're so dirty.” She asked me, 
“Is what he said bad? Is lie degiading 
me?" "What were you saying?" I asked. 
"Stuff like, ‘I love it when you grab my 
tits, when you squeeze my ass. I love 
the way your cock feels in my mouth.” 
She also initiated positions and 
touched his butt. I told her no, he 
wasn't degrading her—he probably en- 
Joyed it. He liked that she was adven- 
turous. But the lesson is: Don't tell a 
woman that she's dirty. Try using 
such words as "sexy," "erotic" or "good 
in bed." 

Everybody wonders what "good in 
bed" means. Well, it does not mean 
much at all. So in the beginning, feel 
free to say it. It's a great catchall. But 
don't say something you don't mean. 
Don't tell her she gives good head if 
she uses too much teeth. She won't get 
any better that way. Don’t stay quiet if 
she tries stimulating your nipples and 
you hate it—just say so gently and 
guide her hands and mouth some- 
where else. Start with the general 
good-in-bed remark and she may want 
to perform a little more. Talk about 
specific technique only when her ego 
can take it. 


PASS YOUR ORAL EXAMS 


Initiate oral sex on her before she 
asks for it. Dozens of women have said 
to me, “I can’t stand it when I have to 
beg a guy to go down on me. I would 

(continued on page 160) 


BLAME ON GA EE RY 


In our July 1964 issue, André Maurois paid homage to dot as “a petite, sulky, tousled beast of the jungle" who "lived 
French actress Brigitte Bardot, who had redefined screen in the nude” and embodied “eroticism uncorrupted.” Bar- 
sensuality in Roger Vadim's And God Created Woman (1956). dot would appear in six PLaYBoy pictorials. This shot, from 
Maurois' essay, BB: The Sex Kitten Grows Up, described Bar- Maurois' story, was taken on the set of A Very Private Affair. 91 


PLAYBOY 


92 


3002: ГНЕ ШШ 


(continued from page 86) 


The age of the rocket must have been over centuries 
ago. All his knowledge was obsolete. 


*] can't imagine anyone wanting to 
stay inside.” 

"You'd be surprised. It's too vertigi- 
nous for some people—especially vi: 
tors from down below, Even mountain 
climbers who say they have a head for 
heights may start to turn green when 
the heights are measured in thousands 
ilorneters, instead of meters." 

П risk it,” Poole answered with a 
smile. “I've been higher." 

When they had passed through a 
double set of air locks in the exterior 
wall of the tower (was it his imagination 
or did he feel a curious sense of dis- 
orientation then?), they entered what 
might have been the auditorium of a 
small theater. Rows of ten seats were 
banked up in five tiers; they all faced 
one of the huge picture windows that 
Poole still found disconcerting, as he 
could never quite forget the hundreds 
of tons of air pressure striving to blast it 
out into space. 

The dozen or so other passengers, 
who had probably never given the mat- 
ter any thought, seemed perfectly at 
ease. They all smiled as they recog- 
nized him, nodded politely and then 
turned away to admire the view. 

“Welcome to Skylounge,” said the in- 
evitable autovoice. “Ascent begins in 
five minutes. You will find refresh- 
ments and toilets on the lower floor.” 

Just how long will this trip last? Poole 
wondered. We're going to travel more 
than 20,000 klicks, there and back: 
This will be like no elevator ride I ever 
knew on Earth. 

While he was waiting for the ascent 
to begin, he enjoyed the panorama laid 
‘out 2000 kilometers below. It was win- 
ter in the northern hemisphere, but 
the climate had indeed changed drasti- 
cally, for there was little snow south of 
the Arctic Circle. 

Europe was almost cloud-free, and 
there was so much detail that the eye 
was overwhelmed. One by one he iden- 
tified the great cities whose names had 
echoed down the centuries. They had 
been shrinking even in his time, as the 
communications revolution changed 
the face of the world, and had now 
dwindled still further. There were also 
some bodies of water in improbable 
places—the northern Sahara's Lake 
Saladin was almost a small sea. 

Poole was so engrossed by the view 
that he had forgotten the passage of 
time. Suddenly he realized that much 
more than five minutes had passed— 


yet the elevator was still stationary. Had 
something gone wrong, or were they 
waiting for late arrivals? 

And then he noticed something so 
extraordinary that at first he refused to 
believe the evidence of his eyes. The 
panorama had expanded, as if he had 
already risen hundreds of kilometers! 
Even as he watched, he noticed new 
features of the planet below creeping 
into the frame of the window. 

Then Poole laughed, as the obvious 
explanation occurred to him. 

"You could have fooled me, Indra! 
I thought this was real—not a video 
projection? 

Indra looked at him with a quizzical 
smile. 

"Think again, Frank. We started to 
move about ten minutes ago. By now 
we must be climbing at, oh, at least 
1000 kilometers an hour. Though I'm 
told these elevators can reach a hun- 
dred gs at maximum acceleration, we 
won't touch more than ten on this 
short run." 

“That's impossible! Six is the maxi- 
mum they ever gave me 1n the cen- 
trifuge, and I didn't enjoy weighing 
half a ton. I know we haven't moved 
since we stepped inside." 

Poole had raised his voice slightly 
and suddenly became aware that the 
Other passengers were pretending not 
to notice. 

“1 don't understand how it's done, 
Frank, but it's called an inertial field. 
Or sometimes a Sharp one—the S 
stands for a famous Russian scientist, 
Sakharov. I don't know who the others 
were." 

Slowly, understanding dawned in 
Poole's mind—and also a sense of awe- 
struck wonder. Here, indeed, was a tech- 
nology indistinguishable from magic. 

"Some of my friends used to dream 
of ‘space drives—energy fields that 
could replace rockets and allow move- 
ment without any feeling of accelera- 
tion. Most of us thought they were 
crazy—but it seems they were right! I 
can still hardly believe it. . . and unless 
I'm mistaken, we're starting to lose 
weight.” 

“Yes—it's adjusting to the lunar val- 
ue. When we step out, you'll feel we're 
on the moon. But for goodness’ sake, 
Frank, forget you're an engineer and 
simply enjoy the view.” 

It was good advice, but even as he 
watched Africa, Europe and much of 
Asia flow into his field of vision, Poole 


could not tear his mind away from this 
astonishing revelation. Yet he should 
not have been wholly surprised: He 
knew that there had been major break- 
throughs in space propulsion systems 
since his time but had not realized they 
would have such dramatic applications 
to everyday life—if that term could be 
applied to existence in a 36,000-kilo- 
meter-high skyscraper. 

And the age of the rocket must have 
been over centuries ago. All his knowl- 
edge of propellant systems and com- 
bustion chambers, ion thrusters and 
fusion reactors, was totally obsolete. Of 
course, that no longer mattered—but 
he understood the sadness that the 
skipper of a windjammer must have 
felt when sail gave way to steam. 

His mood changed abruptly, and he 
could not help smiling when the auto- 
voice announced, “Arriving in two 
minutes. Please make sure you do not 
leave any of your personal belongings 
behind.” 

How often had he heard that an- 
nouncement on some commercial 
flight. He looked at his watch and was 
startled to see that they had been as- 
cending for less than half an hour— 
that meant an average speed of at least 
20,000 kilometers an hour, yet they 
might never have moved. What was 
even stranger, for the past ten minutes 
or more they must actually have been 
decelerating so rapidly that by rights 
they should all have been standing on 
the roof, heads pointing toward Farth! 

The doors opened silently, and as 
Poole stepped out he again felt the 
slight disorientation he had noticed on 
entering the elevator lounge. This 
time, however, he knew what it meant: 
He was moving through the transition. 
zone where the inertial field over- 
lapped with gravity—at this level, 
equal to the moon's. 

Indra and Danil followed him, walk- 
ing carefully now at a third of their cus- 
tomary weight, as they went forward to 
meet the next of the day's wonders. 

Though the view of the receding 
earth had been awesome, even for an 
astronaut, there was nothing unex- 
pected about it. But who would have 
imagined a gigantic chamber, appar- 
ently occupying the entire width of the 
tower, so that the far wall was more 
than five kilometers away? Perhaps by 
this time there were larger enclosed 
volumes on the moon and Mars, but 
this must surcly be one of the largest in 
space itself. 

They were standing on a viewing 
platform, 50 meters up on the outer 
wall, looking across an astonishingly 
varied panorama. Obviously, an ar- 
tempt had been made to reproduce 
a whole range of terrestrial biomes. 

(concluded on page 158) 


"You know what I miss most? Lighting up after having sex 
in the lavatory." 


MAID 


miss march believes‏ - ا 
A‏ 


> in good omens 


H LOOK, there's a falling star!” says 
Jennifer Miriam. It's a clear, cold 
midnight in Austin, Texas and we 
=t have goose bumps as we walk 
along the lake, not because of the tem- 
perature but because Jennifer was talk- 
ing about finding her soul mate at the 
precise moment the heavenly light 
caught her eye. She considers it a sign. 

This 24-year-old model, actor and 
hotel concierge (who once served 
Quentin Tarantino breakfast at five 
AM., "when he was coming in from a 
night on the town after a B-movie film 
festival in Austin”) believes in past lives. 
She says she was a priestess who met, 
and lost, her soul mate 2000 years 
ago—and she's been missing him in all 
her lives since. But a psychic told her 
she would meet him again in two years. 
She can't wait. 

The daughter of an oilman, Jennifer 
grew up in Oklahoma, Kansas, lowa, 
Colorado (where she learned to ski) 
and Texas. Moving frequently taught 
her how to meet people, she says. She 
also learned how to be the class clown, 
“Every time the teacher would leave 
the room,” she remembers, “I would 
entertain the class. I got sent home a 
lot. Like the time in first grade when 1 
crawled under my desk and roared like 
a lion." 

Jennifer has always loved lions—and 
almost every man she's dated, coinci- 
dentally, has been a Leo. “Leos are 
magical,” she acknowledges, “but 1 
haven't had very good luck with them." 
She compares the men she has dated to 


"Iis hard to build a snowman with fresh 
powder," says Jennifer, jumping far joy in 
Pork City, Utah (above left), "but I didn’t let 
that stop me!" The daredevil said she hiked 
two miles ta an untouched advanced slope 
with five feet of fresh powder (left) 
looked down once ond then went for 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY ARNY 
FREYTAG AND STEPHEN WAYDA 


In Jennifer's romantic fantasy, a blizzard is raging outside, so she and her soul mate can't go 
skiing. They build a fire, throw lots of pillows around ard . . . play! “Nabedy should forget how 
to be a kid,” she says. "I don't need to spend time trying to alter my mind. | just want ta play.“ 


a character in The Lion King (“my 
favorite Disney film,” she says)— 
the king's evil brother, Scar. But 
her soul mate, once she’s reunit- 
ed with him, will be the mane 
event: Mufasa, the lion king. 

That king of beasts had better 
be prepared for his independent 
mate. She demands of any guy 
she dates: “Let me be me" I like 
people who like to have fun and 
aren't worried about what other 
people think. If he says, ‘You 
can't do that,’ 1 say, ‘Bye.’ I dated 
an actor once who called me 
from a golf course on his cellular 
phone. I said, ‘Never mind!” He 
was into the right cars, the right 
possessions, I hate that. I would 
rather have a guy in a beat-up 
pickup who's nice to me and 
brings me flowers he picked him- 
self. He has to be independent, 
too, because I don't want to take 
care of anybod 

Acting classes and auditions 
take a lot of her time. “I want to 


do independent films," she say: 


"small, meaningful movies lik 
The Spitfire Grill." But Jennifer is 
happiest when she's outdoors. To 
stay in shape she runs with her 
dog, Snickers, who is half Aus- 
tralian shephe 
She also plays football wi 
guy friends and loves horseback 
riding, biking, hiking and camp- 
ing (she roughs it—no tents al- 
lowed). In her quiet moments 
she practices yoga and meditates, 
and she loves to read. Forget 
Jane Austen; this tomboy is into 
literary lions Ernest Hemingway 
and Charles Bukowsl 

—JULIE J. BAIN 


yz 7% 


As for that best-seller of mon-catching rules for women, such os "never tolk to o mon first,” Jennifer says that's ridiculous. “If | didn't tolk. 
to men first," she says, "no one would ever talk to me! | don't want to miss an opportunity. I'm a strong person—strong-willed, too. 1 
don't let other people hold me back." The tattoo on her wrist drives the point home: It is on ancient mystical symbol for strength. 


PLAYMATE DATA SHEET 


NAME :_ Jenni hy Miriam 


Bust: 2h C warst: CH mps: 34 _ 


HEIGHT: SS” WEIGHT: Шбс dicen 
ed Tak! ) 
BIRTH DATE: DS-07-72. BIRTHPLACE: Oklahoma tiy ОК 


AMBITIONS : as a film Qe Xov ip the point 

-where X can ire 4 пе, d сщ Moundt ins ~ 

TURN-ONS: ub cked & 
and wis will jump Into NU: uit mie. 


tunworrs: Anyone whip tries f suppress the fee sarik iit mel _ 


FAVORITE DISHES: Chi E us otalpes 
fee |^ Yea a 
Uons- e 
m \\ 
She Lien Kila" and also "| 
MY IDEA OF FUN: S 
Y 


I EXPOSE MYSELF TO: 
ru 


Ane quitar player nthe Comer of me café 


Outlaw oA an SE, Cot and ле Princess Dakota " 
larly оде (Gy mou? (OAL B) (хех >, me 2) 


PLAYBOY’S PARTY JOKES 


The exhausted businessman stopped in a 
"Tokyo bar for a drink. "Spcak English?" he 
asked the bartender. 

“yes, sir.” 

“Great. I'd like a Stoli with a twist." 

‘The barkeep looked at him for a moment, 
then leaned over the bar. "OK, once upon a 
time there were four little pigs. .. .” 


Conmrurer virus or THE MONTH: the Hillary 
Clinton. Files disappear, only to reappear mys- 
teriously a year later in another directory. 


TE RACLES 


Р. лувоу cuassic: At the motel checkout desk, 
Harry handed the clerk $50. “I’m sorry, sir,” 
the man said, “but this won't cover your bill.” 

“The hell it won't,” Harry barked. “The sign 
outside says rooms are 40 bucks.” 

“But that doesn't include the food,” the 
clerk explained. “Your total is $75." 

“But I didn't eat any food.” 

“It was there for you. If you didn’t eat any, 
that's your fault.” 

Harry glared at the motel employee for a 
moment. "OK," he finally said, "then you owe 
me $100." 

“What for?" the confused clerk asked. 

“For screwing my wife.” 

"But I never touched her!" 

"That's your fault," Harry shrugged. "She 
was there for you." 


А spectacular-looking blonde tock a seat at 

the bar. “What'll it be?” the bartender asked. 
“Oh, nothing," she replied. “I'm just waiting 

for that guy with the pet frog to come in 


While taking a weekend drive through the 
country, a New Yorker stopped to speak to a 
farmer leaning against a fence. Gesturing to- 
ward a hillside, the visitor complimented the 
fellow on his corn crop, “How do you plow 
that field? It's pretty steep.” 

“Don't plow it,” the farmer replied. “When 
the spring thaw comes, the rocks rolling down 
the hill tear it up.” 

“That so? How do you plant it?” 

"Don't plant it. Just stand in my backyard 
and shoot the seed in with a shotgun.” 

“That so?” 

“Nope,” the farmer said with a shrug. 
“That's conversation." 


This MONTH'S MOST FREQUENT SUBMISSION: Why 
arc educators so concerned about the graduat- 
ing class of economists? The majority believe 
Prozac ended the Great Depression. 


‚After dinner and a movie, Carl drove his date 
to a quiet country road and made his move. 
When Mary responded enthusiastically to his 
kissing, he tried sliding his hand up her 
blouse. Suddenly she jerked away, got out of 
the car and stomped home. That night she 
wrote in her diary, “A girl's best friends are her 
own two legs." 

On their next date, Carl returned to the 
country road. As they were necking, he slid his 
hand up Mary's skirt. Once again she pulled 
away, got out of the car and stomped home. 
‘That night she wrote in her diary, “I repeat, a 
girl's best friends are her own two legs." 

On the third date, the pair returned to the 
country road. This ime Mary didn't get home 
until very late. That night she wrote, "Dear di- 
ary: There comes a time when even the best of 
friends must part." 


The seven-year-old told her mom that a little 
boy in her class asked her to play doctor. “Oh, 
dear,” the mother nervously sighed. "What 
happened, honey?" 

"Nothing. He made me wait 45 minutes and 
then double billed the insurance company.” 


05) 


DH 2 
len etu 


We hear Bill Gates was seen with Divine 
Brown. She charged him the basic rate, plus 
$99.95 for the upgrade, manual and customer 
support. 


А snowstorm kept the two gay men cooped up. 
all weekend. To combat E one sug- 
gested a game of hidc-and-scck. “TIl go hide. 
If you find me within five minutes, ГІ give you 
the best blow job of your life.” 

“Awesome,” the other said. “But what if I 
don't find you?" 

"Oh, silly—I'll be behind the couch." 


Send your jokes on postcards to Party Jokes Editor, 
PLAYBOY, 680 North Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, 
Illinois 60611, or by e-mail to jokes@playboy.com. 
$100 will be paid to the contributor whose submis- 
sion is selected. Sorry, jokes cannot be veturned. 


“I said nothing about a quickie, madam—1 asked if 
you would consider a shorty.” 


108 


ON KING was selling. Don King 
was doing what he does best— 
promoting his next fight, with 
a torrent of misplaced words 
and malapropisms. 

America's most gifted robber baron 
and con man was standing in the ring 
in Las Vegas last year trying to make 
Mike Tyson's next fight sound more 
exciting, more dramatic, than Ali and 
Frazier, or the Gulf war. 

As usual King had no shame. 

It didn’t slow him down in the slight- 
est that five minutes earlier he had put 
on a fight between Tyson and Bruce 
Seldon that had been a fraud and that 
should have caused Seldon’s license to 
be revoked and his pay withheld. 

The disgusted crowd was still chant- 
ing “Fix, fix, fix,” but King was smiling 
and huckstering and jiving like there 
was no stench hovering over the arena 
and filling more than 900,000 homes 
across America, where people had paid 
$45 to view the 109-second swan dive 
by Seldon. 

This was the first heavyweight title 
fight in history in which both contes- 
tants had served time in prison— Tyson 
for rape and Seldon for armed rob- 
bery—as had the promoter, for man- 
slaughter. (He was later pardoned.) 
It was the ultimate criminalization of 
one of the most dazzling prizes in all 
of sports. 

King had just delivered a sucker 
punch to every boxing fan around the 
world, and here he was, already setting 
up the pay-per-view market for his 
next fight. 

Seldon had fallen down from a Ty- 
son punch that missed his head by 
three inches. He had fallen down a sec- 
ond time from a left hook that barely 
grazed his crystal chin. The man had 
fainted from fright, had hyperventilat- 
ed from intimidation. Seldon had pro- 
vided a powerful audition for the No- 
bel Peace Prize. 

The crowd, feeling cheated, was still 
cursing and booing. 

And like he has done all his life, Don 
King was ignoring reality and perform- 


ing his bombastic rap-opera filibuster, 
shouting over the catcalls, denying the 
fraud—and selling his next fight, 
which would make another $5 million 
or $10 million to add to his net worth 
of more than $100 million. 

The world of hustlerdom is a meri- 
tocracy, and Don King is the best. If 
bullshit were poetry, he would be 
Shakespeare. 

е 


In the interest of full disclosure, I 
must say that King and I have gone a 
few rounds together in the past. 

In 1991 I wrote and reported an 
Emmy-winning PBS documentary 
about King that includes a scene of him 
threatening me, calling me a “scum- 
bag” and revoking my press credentials 
for the Tyson-Razor Ruddock fight. 

In 1995 I published my book Only in 
America: The Life and Crimes of Don King. 

In 1990 King and I negotiated over 
whether he would sit down for a series 
of taped interviews for the book. One 
day he put his arm across my shoul- 
ders, in a friendly manner, and said, 
"I've decided, no interviews for your 
book." 

"Why?" I asked. 

"Because the day your book comes 
out," King explained, “I want to be 
able to call a press conference and tell 
the whole world that that damn white 
boy didn't even have the decency to 
speak to this poor nigger!” 

With that, King laughed loudly and 
patted me on the back, as ifhe had just 
put something over on me and wanted 
to gloata little. 

But when the book was published in 
August 1995, he called it a “rehash” 
and refused to talk about it. 

The book contains some of the same 
revelations as the television documen- 
tary, which he had called lies but never 
sued over. 

Only in America reports that King has 
killed two men: The first death, in 
1954, was ruled justifiable homicide; 
in the second case (in 1967), King 
stomped and pistol-whipped a man to 


PLAYBOY PROFILE 


forget death and 
taxes. the only sure 
thing is that, win or 
lose, don king is 
counting the money 


ULTURE 
ON THE 
RING 
POST 


By JACK NEWFIELD 


death over a gambling debt of $600. 
His victim was 100 pounds lighter than 
he and unarmed. 

I reported that King took $1 million 
for the promotional rights to a fight in 
South Africa in 1984, in violation ofthe 
worldwide anti-apartheid boycott of 
that country. It was my question about 
this payment that triggered King's 
"scumbag" tirade, making the PBS 
documentary à hit. 

My book also describes how King 
shortchanged Muhammad Ali by al- 
most $1.2 million of his pay for his 
tragic, health-ruining comeback fight 
with Larry Holmes. And when Ali, sick 
and almost (continued on page 124) 


ILLUSTRATION BY DAMD LEVINE 


UN 


| 
{ 


PLAYBOY'S 


WANT TO BOARD IN THE 
BUFF OR SKI A SOFA? 
HERE ARE THE WILDEST 
PLACES TO GO 
DOWNHILL FAST 


article by CHARLES PLUEDDEMAN 
In theory, skiing is a winter activity. 
Snow is the essential medium, afier all. 
But that doesn't mean you have to en- 
dure the icy blasts of January to carve a 
perfect turn or receive a glorious face- 
shot of powder. Spring is skiing's sec- 
ond season, a time to celebrate the re- 
turn of the sun and rejoice in the best 
snow of the year. In fact, March and 
April tend to be the snowiest months 
for many resorts. Add to that lower lift- 
ticker prices and plenty of wild events, 
and you have great reasons to keep 
your skis and snowboards waxed and 
ready for action. For some, that means 
swooshing down a slalom course in fuil 
business attire in the annual GMC 
Truck Briefcase Race at Loon Moun- 
tain in New Hampshire. For others, it 
means wearing much less, in bikini 
races at Telluride, Colorado. Whatever 
your pleasure, we've covered it in this 
guide to spring flings on the slopes. 
Big Mountain, Montana: For rowdy 
fun and friendly locals, it's tough to 
beat Big Mountain, near Kalispell in 


Pictured from left to right are Playmates 
Priscilla Taylor, Anna-Marie Goddard and 
Yictaria Fuller. Buckle up: You could meet 
them on the slopes this spring at resorts 
such as Crested Butte and Snaw Summit. 


PLAY SOY 


112 


northwest Montana. The Hawaiian- 
themed Beach Party Weekend kicks off 
March 15 with a pig roast, tropical 
drinks and a race in which skiers vie for 
a medal while dressed in flowered 
shirts and hula skirts. The Waitress 
Cup competition opens on March 20 
with bawdy skits at the Bier Stube 
bar—followed by a ski race through ап 
obstacle course. And Big Mountain's 
showcase event is the annual Furniture 
Race on April 5. Creative participants 
compete in a variety of categories, 
speeding down the mountain on all 
manner of home furnishings. Last 
year, five daredevil entrants secured a 
sofa, coffee table and television to a 
platform on skis. All entries must have 
brakes, a steering apparatus and a hel- 
met. First prize is a recliner. 

Grand Targhee, Wyoming: Jackson 
Hole has the reputation, but Grand 
‘Targhee has the snow. Situated on the 
west side of the Teton Range, with an 
8000-foot base that's 1700 feet higher 
than that of its famous neighbor, this 
resort usually has great skiing through 
its scheduled closing date of April 20. 
Skiers and snowboarders of all abilities 
con compete for prizes during the an- 
nual Anheuser-Busch Spring Snow 
Carnival (March 14 to 16) or enter the 
Bud Girl contest, a "drag" race fol- 
lowed by a beauty pageant for "moun- 
tain men." 

Crested Butte, Colorado: Three 
words say it all: free lift tickets. That's 
from April 7 through 20, no strings at- 
tached. The season draws to a close the 
weekend of April 19 with the Rocky 
Mountain Brewers Cup—a microbrew 
tasting and competition—and Snowfu- 
sion events that include a snowshoe 
and snowboard biathlon, plus moun- 
tain bike and kayak slalom races on the 
mountain. Sample enough beer and 
you may be ready to join locals who ski 
the Butte in the buff on closing day 
(April 22), a tradition that is not sanc- 
tioned by the resort. Bring a backpack 
for your clothes—you must be dressed 
to ride the lift. 

Park City, Utah: Golf on skis in the 
Evian Golf Tournament, one of many 
popular events offered at the Snow 
Shine Festival (March 29 to April 13). 
Golfers tee off at the 9400-foot summit 
and play a nine-hole downhill course, 
smacking tennis balls through race 
gates that act as holes. 

Brian Head, Utah: An 11,000-foot 
summit produces good late-season 
snow at this resort, situated near Cedar 
City, a three-hour drive from Las Ve- 
gas. The Altered Olympics is the signa- 
ture event of the annual Brian Head 
Spring Carnival (March 22 to 30), 
which draws a zany UNLV crowd. 
Events include keg-rolling, a ski obsta- 
cle course and the crash-intensive Dash 


for Cash downhill mountain bike race. 

Breckenridge, Colorado: The 
month-long Beach Daze at Brecken- 
ridge kicks off April I with the April 
Fool's Day parade, which has featured 
appearances by "Bill and Hillary Clin- 
ton" in a hot tub (in hot whitewater). 
Other events include snow volleyball 
and the Imperial Challenge—a bike/ 
climb/slide race from town to the sum- 
mit of Peak Eight and down again. 

Arapahoe Basin, Colorado: Known 
as the King of Spring and surely the 
funkiest ski area in Colorado, 13,000- 
foot A-Basin has one of the longest sea- 
sons of any resort in the country (last 
year it closed on July 4). In April and. 
May, join locals to catch the bikini and 
barbecue action along "the beach," at 
the edge of the parking lot. Mountain 
bikers race down a mogul course in the 
Bike and Bumps competition in April, 
while the annual Beach and Bikini 
Contest in May features live music and 
celebrity judges. 

Telluride, Colorado: Pink flamingos 
and scantily clad skiers dot this moun- 
tain during the annual end-of-scason 
Surf the Rockies festival (March 31 to 
April 13). In the Nike ACG Snowboard 
Derby on April 4 and 5, in which near- 
ly $100,000 in prizes is up for grabs, 
heats of six riders navigate a course lit- 
tered with banked turns and rollers be- 
fore sailing off a 30-foot-high jump аг 
the finish line. Last year, 5000 specta- 
tors made this the biggest party of the 
season. Wear a crazy costume to enter 
the Bikini Slalom (April 12). A recent 
winner was a woman dressed in 20 
years' worth of old season passes. 

Vail, Colorado: Racers from around 
the world will be in town the week of 
March 12 for the Chevy Trucks Inter- 
national Ski Festival. This is the World 
Cup Finals for the 1996-1997 season, 
open to the top 25 racers in slalom, 
giant slalom, Super-G and down- 
hill. Expected to make the cut are U.S. 
Ski Team members Hilary Lindh and 
Tommy Moe. 

Snow Summit, California: Interest- 
ed in bombing the mountain behind a 
Playmate? Then head to Snow Summit 
for the Playboy Winter Ski Fest (March 
7 to 9). Nissan sponsors the on-snow 
events, including Playmate-led tours, 
races with prizes and a snowboard 
competition hosted by Haz-Mat snow- 
boards. Smirnoff vodka takes over the 
après-ski activities, including Playmate 
appearances, live music, bar games for 
prizes and a sweepstakes to win a 
san Pathfinder. You can also catch sim- 
ilar events during the Playboy Winter 
Ski Fest at Stowe, Vermont from March 
14 to 16. 

Snow Valley, California: Body-bag 
races return to the midmountain Mar- 
garita Beach bar thisspring in a reprise 


of perhaps the strangest winter sports 
event ever. Now in its third season, the 
competition has participants sliding 
down a slope in body bags supplied by 
the local coroner's office. Just zip in 
and go! 

Sierra-at-Iahoe, California: Races to 
determine the King and Queen of 
Corn are the featured events of Sierra 
Sunsplash (April 5), which also in- 
cludes live reggae music, food and 
beer. The season closes on April 19 
with the Boarding for Breast Cancer 
Benefit, a day of half-pipe and freestyle 
snowboard competitions with top pro 
riders and big-name bands. (The 
Beastie Boys made a surprise appear- 
ance last year.) 

Mt. Rose Ski Area, Nevada: Those 
desperate for a cheap lift ticket should 
not miss Bud Light Ladies Day on 
March 20 at this Lake Tahoe-area re- 
sort. The premise is simple: Dress likea 
woman and get a $15 lift ticket. Any- 
thing goes—tight sweaters, bikinis, 
even nuns' habits. 

Sugarbush, Vermont: A highlight of 
Spring Fling at Sugarbush (March 29 
through May 4) is the annual pond- 
skimming contest on April 5. Contes- 
tants attempt to glide on skis or snow- 
boards over an ice-cold, 125-foot-long 
pond. Last year only 15 of 200 entrants 
succeeded. Prizes are awarded for 
complete skims. the best crashes and 
the craziest costumes. 

Loon Mountain, New Hampshire: 
Corporate rivalry is renewed on March 
1 during the fifth-annual GMC Truck 
Briefcase Race, a dual-slalom event for 
five-person coed teams of executives in 
full business attire or other costumes, 
all of which must include a briefcase. 
Proceeds from the event go to the 
Faulkner Breast Center Research Fund. 
Any “loonatic” can enter the cardboard 
box derby during the Pepsi Spring 
Fling Weekend (March 15 and 16). 
Cash prizes are awarded for the fastest, 
most creative and most original boxes 
to make it down the mountain. Last 
year there was a Stealth bomber, a 1957 
Chevy, a gigantic banana split (filled 
with ice cream) and a candy shop (com- 
plete with counter and stools)—all 
made of cardboard. 

Sunday River, Maine: More pond 
skimming during the Spring Celebra- 
tion on March 29 and 50—thıs time 
over a slush puddle that last year swal- 
lowed all but one of 150 skimmers. 
There's also Paul Mitchell Budweiser 
Mogul Mania on April 5 and 6, an am- 
ateur event featuring exhibitions by 
pro freestyle legend Wayne Wong and 
pro mogul-bashers Stu O'Brien and 
Eddie Ferguson. 

Head for those crazy hills! 


“Т think après-ski on the chairlift is a little gauche!” 


113 


Article By Kevin Cook 


GLAMOURCON is a COS- 
mos of its own. It's 
easy to find: Enter 
the Los Angeles Air- 
port Marriott and 
take the escalator 
down. The mirrored 
hall below is a whole 
other world, terra in 
flagrante. This is the 
party the pin-up 
world throws once a 
year, the biggest col- 
lection of nude pho- 
tos this side of Char- 
lie Sheen's wallet 
This is where a girl 
doffs her fur coat 
outside the Imperial 
Ballroom. She wearsa few strips of leather 
underneath. She stretches, poses and asks 
you to take her picture. 

Glamourcon is the world’s largest mar- 
ketplace for “glamour art.” On display are 
vintage pin-ups, magazines, calendars, 
sexy movie ads, even such once-taboo 
items as leather gear and bondage cata- 
logs. Like other recent booms in comic 
books and sports cards, the hobby is driv- 
en by rarity: This market's golden fleece is 
the first PLAYBOY, the 1953 Marilyn Mon- 
roe issue. Now worth upwards of $10,000, 
it is as valuable as some of the rarest col- 
lectibles. “The Honus Wagner baseball 
card that Wayne Gretzky bought is worth 
more, but I'd rather lock at Marilyn," says 
one collector. 

Glam fans once traded purely on nostal- 
gia. Now the times are catching up. 
"We're bigger than ever. We're getting 
more modern," says Bob Schultz, who. 
launched the convention in 1991. In those 
days the annual weekend was a gathering 
ofa few pin-up enthusiasts. Since then it 
has grown to a Kama Sutra Bowl 

"Look around you," Schultz said last 
April. “Where else can you find all this?” 

The hall is a whirl of breasts and hips, 
laughter and commerce. Picture a Slar 
Trek convention on Planet Sex. Exhibitors 


LEFT ANNA NICOLE SMITH BY OLIVIA DE BERARDINIS 


Care to the 

Meza of Dimas 

W/heve Dla mates [Reign Su reme 
y g P 


ҮШ 


moking o fon’s doy; Hef and wife Kimberley causing a commotion; 
Liso Marie Scoti ond 1996 PMOY Stacy Sanches signing cutogrop 
Ploymates all in a raw (fram left, Ann Pennington, 1974 PMOY Cyndi Wood, Sharon 
Johansen, Carol Vitole, 1976 PMOY Lillian Müller, Bonnie Lorge and Michele Drake); 
and Sixties Ploymotes Cynthia Myers (lefi) and Patti Reynolds attracting new fans 


115 


116 


hawk hot videos, 
suggestive com- 
pact discs, Vam- 
pirella calendars. 
Women strut 
past you in neck- 
lines that aren't 
just plunging, 
they're in free 
fall. A girl wears 
a TAN NAKED I-shirt. Hobbyists and pro 
collectors bid $100 for a Pamela Ander- 
son trading card, $35 for PLAYBOYS 
from the ycar Pamela was born, $18 for 
vintage boxer shorts, $5 for a catalog 
featuring blindfolds and maid uni- 
forms. Artist David Nestler sells his 
most noted work, a giant duct-taped 
girl. Here sits Apollonia, Prince's for- 
mer girlfriend, all shiny with her pur- 
ple nails, rock candy earrings and 
glossy black hair. She sells signatures 
for ten dollars. Two scary, gangsta- 
looking guys stride up and demand 
her attention. Worried, Apo puts up 
her hands. "Anything you want," she 
says. Then they perform a perfect duet 
of her hit song Sex Shooter. 

Across frorn Apollonia stands anoth- 
er brunette beauty. She stars in lacy cat- 
alogs. "I'm a ham," says Persephone, 
who never expected Glamourcon to 
get so big. "I guess we're getting 
trendy," she says. "A lot of it is them." 

Persephone nods to the spotlighted 
center of the exhibition hall, the cosmic 
hub. That's where video display termi- 
nals, CD-ROMs and security guards 
surround four rows of PLAYBOY Play- 
mates, this year's special guests. Here's 


Collector James 
Swanson provided 
the Egyption sar- 
cophogus lomp that 
opens to c gilt pin- 
up on the previous 
poge and the Jayne 
Mansfield hot-wa- 
ter bottle, ot loft. 


In 1958 London's 43-22-36 June Wilkinson, seen twice ot the top of this page, made PLAYBOY reoders admire her “frontage.” June 
gained worldwide renown—and recent Glamourcon fans—as The Bosom, the epitome of Fifties femininity. Lili St. Cyr (above), was the 
most elegant exotic doncer ever. “To millions of men of oll nationalities, Lili is the symbol of love," raved с fon magazine. Lili's stripping 
reportedly eorned her $200,000 a year 40 years ago. She beat c lewd-and-lascivious-performance chorge offer offering to toke a bub- 
ble bath for the jury, wowed the world in the film The Naked and the Dead end penned her autobiography, And Men My Fuel. 


The work of Gil Elvgren, whose bold 
strokes ore clear in the print above left 
(and on the revolving pin-up lamp on 
page 119), now joins that of Billy De Vorss 
[top right) and Earl Moran (below right) 


THERES ло 
$тотт\М@ HER, 


on dealers’ shelves ond gallery walls. 
Enoch Bolles enlivened Film Fun (below 
left) in 1936. Zöe Mozert is seen at left 
painting Jane Russell for a poster for 
Howard Hughes’ movie The Outlaw. 


Fons often find their 
old flames looking 
greot at Glomourcon. 
PMOY 1978 Debra Jo 
Fandren (below ot 
Glomourcon ond at 
right two decades 
earlier) naw has 
shorter hair but is still 
long on beauty. Also 
an hand in Los Ange- 
les was ane of the 
great names of vin- 


Miss August 1956 Jonnie Nicely, 1996 
Playmate of the Year Stacy Sanches and 
more than 50 others, all signing pho- 
tos, magazines and business cards for 
thousands of hungry collectors. Here's 
Playmate Cynthia Myers, who went 
from the centerfold to a lead role in Be- 
yond the Valley of the Dells and calls the 
latter an anticlimax. “Being 
Miss December 1968, that was 
my highlight,” says Cynthia, PHO 
whose soldier fans made her 
an instrument of psychological 
warfare in Vietnam. They left 
her centerfold in Viet Cong 
territory, daring the enemy to 
compare their women to ours. 
The battleship-sized PLAYBOY 
exhibit eclipses the rest of the 
room. Persephone remembers 
when this was a smaller event 
where a girl who looked good 
in chains could be a star. "But I 
don't mind. They're pretty," she says. 
These days the Playmates rule the 
ballroom—rows of famous names, 
measurements and turn-ons. They 
sign centerfolds in gold ink, turning 
glossy paper into prizes collectors can 
fight over. They smile. They shake 
fans’ hands. They cloud men's vision. 


tage celebrity, Irish 
McCalla. The ex 
athletic Irish (in a dos- 
sic pose below ond 
ct Glomourcon near 
right), a onetime Var- 
gas madel, wos ane 
of America's postwar 
pin-up queers. lii 1956 
she was TV's Sheena, 
Queen af the Jungle. 


Flame-haired Tempest Storm (above) once ruled exotica's realm. Her 
breasts were insured for $25,000 opiece. Her Las Vegas-based striptease 
was о nationel scandal, os were Tempest's affairs with Elvis Presley, Nat 


King Cole and then-Senctar Jahn F Kennedy. “I'd like ta live it all aver 


again!” says Tempest, 69 (inset, at Glamaurcon) and still quite blazy. 


A cowboy-hatted dude leaving the ballroom shakes his 
head. “My eyes are worn out,” he says. 

You can blame much of the eyestrain on Bettie Page. A 
brunette cover girl, Bettie wore bikinis and a Doris Day 
smile on the covers of Police Gazette and Ellery Queen's Mystery 
Magazine in the Fifties. She also appeared in such early girlie 
magazines as Stare, Leg Show and—wink-wink—Modern Sun- 
bathing. She was an uncommon sex object. Even when she 
appeared nude in the racier magazines, including posing as 
PLAYBOY'S Miss January in 1955, (continued on page 159) 


^| thought I would be 
forgotien,” says the im- 
mortol Bettie Page 
(above). Instead Bettie 
helped inspire a new 
phenomenon. Will Bet- 
tie visit Glamourcon 
1997? If not, Hef hos 
a few other immortals 
tor you (right). See how 
many Playmates you 
can name, then check 
1he roster on poge 160. 


surf: 


TECHNO FANTASY has come true. 
The two most compelling media of our time—the televi- 
sion and the computer—are uniting. It makes sense, of 
course, that electronics manufacturers would look to the 
tube as the best way to launch the mainstream into cyber- 
space. After all, 110 million households are already 
equipped with at least one television set (compared with 
one third that number for computers). And let's face it, 
TVs ate friendly, computer are not No шацет how шапу 
wild Web sites you visit or CD-ROMs you spin, sitting in 
front of a PC feels like you're at the office rather than at 
home having fun. The first stab at mating a TV screen and 
a computer monitor came from Gateway 2000, which sim- 
ply disguised a Pentium computer for living room place- 
ment. Its Destination system, a 31-inch Mitsubishi monitor 
and Gateway PC introduced last spring, is priced at $3000 
and up, putting it in the same—often unattainable—league 
as multimedia computers. Enter WebTV Networks. This 
California-based company has teamed up with Sony and 
Philips Magnavox to introduce TV-top boxes that cost less 
than $350 yet let you go Net nuts for only $19.95 per 
month. The hardware, similar in size to a standard cable 
box, includes a 33.6 modem and everything you need, in- 
duding a line splitter, to connect the WebTV unit to your 
television set and phone jack. If you have call waiting, the 
system software will even inform you of incoming calls, 
pause while you talk and then resume Internet service 
right where you left off. We tested the Sony INTW100 and 
liked both the resolution and the speed at which Web 
pages appeared on-screen. You can choose among small, 
medium and large type (we suggest the last on a screen of 
27 inches or larger). and have the option of making an S- 
Video connection. (If your TV allows for this, do it. You'll 
enjoy even better picture clarity) Both the Sony and 
Philips Magnavox systems let you send and receive e-mail 
as well as keep an address book of contacts. But that, and a 
list of up to 36 favorite Web sites, are the only items the 
first-generation machines are able to store. Neither the 
Sony system nor the Philips Magnavox system offers hard- 
drive space, which means you can't download games or 
other materials from the Net. And while the WebTV 
browser can do most of the things Netscape Navigator and 
Microsoft Internet Explorer can do, it won't allow you to 
participate in newsgroups or chats, or view full-motion 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY JAMES IMBROGNO 


THE NET IS 
CONVERGING 
WITH THE TUBE, 
COUCH POTATOES. 
LIFE IS GOOD 


BY BETH TOMKIW 


video clips—yet. Upgrades are in the works, according to a 
spokesman for WebTV, but only software ones, all of which 
will be handled online at the WebTV site. Initial shortcom- 
ings aside, the true beauty of surfing the Internet through 
your TV set becomes clear when you're actually watching 
television. While tuned to The X-Files, for example, you can 
spend the commercial breaks at the Official X-Files Home 
Page, getting the lowdown on missed episodes or updates 
ig characters. Or maybe you're watching the 
news and learn that United has slashed its international 
fares. Time to grab your credit card, head to onc of the 
many travel sites on the Net and book a flight to London. 
And think of the possibilities with picture-in-picture. Dur- 
ing March Madness, you can move the game into PIP 
mode at halftime (so you can still catch the cheerleaders) 
and then dial up espn.com to check the other teams’ stand- 
ings. A word to the wise: The WebTV systems come with a 
remote control for navigating the Net; however, you can 
avoid this tedious method of surfing by spending an extra 
$100 on a wireless keyboard. The Sony model we used is a 
perfect laptop size and features a selection of smart one- 
touch function keys, including co TO, which automatically 
adds the “http://www” and “.com” extensions to Web ad- 
dresses. Down the road, Smart Cards slots on the Sony and 
Philips Magnavox systems will let you make purchases off 
the Net using computerized cards loaded with money from 
your bank account. As WebTV catches on, you can be sure 
other companies will jump on the convergence bandwag- 
on. Sega has already introduced a $200 28.8 modem pe- 
ripheral, called Net Link, for its Sega Saturn game system 

Zenith, RCA, Samsung, Sharp and Mitsubishi have an- 
nounced plans to introduce TV sets capable of accessing 
the Internet. And cable companies across the country are 
scrambling to introduce upgraded systems that will com- 
bine digital television programming with high-speed In- 
ternet service. All of these options mean serious Spud City 
for us. Those 500 channels we've been waiting for . . . well, 
they just turned into 5 million. Hang ten on that. 


Right: To send e-moil and explore the Web through your televi- 
sion set, try Sony's INT-W100 WebTV Internet Terminal. This 112- 
megahertz machine atop the TV is priced at $350 and comes 
with o 33.6 modem and o remote control for TY and Netsurf- 
ing. Also pictured is Sony's $100 wireless infrared keyboard. 


WHERE & HOWTO BUY ON PAGE 162. 


DÍ 
m 


Er, ? = 
Favorites Explo 


instructions 


MICHAEL JO 


ast year Michael Jordan led the Chica- 

go Bulls to their fourth NBA title in six 
years. (They lost when he played baseball.) 
He won his eighth scoring title and his 
fourth MVP award. Earth's most famous 
jock also starred in "Space Jam,” becoming 
the only human to work with both Bugs 
Bunny and Dennis Rodman. He did it with 
ease and antigrav grace, as usual. For Jor- 
dan, superhuman feats ave no sweat. So why 
does he need Michael Jordan cologne? 

We sent Contributing Editor Kevin Cook 
to the Rodeo Drive suites of fragrancier Bi- 
jan to ask 

“I didn’t smell anything, but the air did 
change when Jordan entered the room. He is 
regal. Pleasant and sometimes funny, too, 
but his presence has a bouquet of magnifi- 
cence. He is in charge of every detail. At one 
point Bijan barged in; the cologne pooh-bah 
was worried about a photo of Jordan for an 
ad campaign. 

“What's missing?’ Jordan asked. 

“Your energy, your statement of you,’ said. 
Bijan. 

“Michael studied the photo for about two 
seconds. ‘It’s fine,’ he said. End of crisis. 

"I couldn't help noticing the official Mi- 
chael Jordan soap displayed beside his co- 
logne. It was thich as a brick and almost 
as long." 


1. 


PLAYBOY: Why is your soap so big? 

JORDAN: Look at my hand. It's huge, 
isn't it? So I need a big bar of soap. 
And I'm not the only one—my team- 
mates need something big to wash their 


5 butts with. 
his most A 
supreme PLAYBOY: Do 

E you intend to 

fresh th 
us NDA locker 
discusses rooms? 

JORDAN: Start- 
team ing with my 


team. I think 
Scottie Pippen 
wears Dunhill, 
but I'll change 
him over. If I 


hygiene, 
trash talk 


and having can just get 
A Scottie to try 
bill murray Michael Jordan 
cologne, he'll 

asa come around. 
Dennis Rod- 

golf coach man? I'll give 


him some, but 
I don't think 
he'll use it. 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY DAVID ROSE 


PLAYBOY: Is Dennis a more ofa 
Chanel guy? 

JORDAN: Dennis is totally different. I 
never question his attire or his hygiene. 
I don't infringe on him. He has ways of 
expressing himself that I don't agree 
with, but that's Dennis, and we let it go. 
I would be opposed to seeing him in 
makeup or a dress on the basketball 
court. And as far as him playing naked, 
I just hope I'm not on the court. 


4- 


PLAYBOY: Tell us your fragrance history. 
Did you ever use Hai Karate? 

JORDAN: Sure. I went through Old 
Spice, Hai Karate—but what I really 
remember is the smelly stuff my father 
used to wear, English Leather. The fa- 
therly cologne, yeah, with that wooden 
top. Sneaking some of his English 
Leather, spraying it on myself, I'll nev- 
er forget that. 


5. 


PLAYEOY: Fans love Bugs Bunny, your 
Space Jam co-star, but we've heard he 
can be difficult. Did he pay you a com- 
mon actor’s courtesy—showing up to 
read his lines when he’s off camera, so 
you can react to his delivery? 

JORDAN: No. He always sent his double. 
It made it a little tougher for me, but 
that’s the big time, man. You can do 
that when you've been a star for 60 or 
70 years. 


6. 


рїлүроү: What made you laugh on the 
movie set? 

JORDAN: Joe Pytka, who directed Space 
Јат, thinks he’s a basketball player. But 
he can't play. So I played a lot with him 
and some of the extras. Joe was asking 
how it really is in the NBA, so I made it 
physical. Now these extras, they're not 
just actors, they're basketball players, 
too, and it got a little rough. Somebody 
throws an elbow and—boom—breaks 
an extra’s nose. 1 was laughing because 
it was so timely. That's how it is, Joe. 


7. 


PLAYBOY: Let's talk about trash talk. Is it 
true that Charles Barkley is the funni- 
est talker and Seattle's Gary Payton is 
the nastiest? 

JORDAN: Charles is funny. He kids me 
about endorsing everything from co- 
logne to underwear. It's a way to get 
your head. But if you know Charles, it 


y d ( S 
doesn’t bother you. If you've had suc- 
cess over him, you can throw it right 
back. You can call him a great second- 
place finisher 

Payton is young and brash. He's 
good. Maybe he talks, but not to me. 
Still, I could sense the challenge com- 
ing off him in the playoffs last year: It's 
fun when you fecl that challenge from 
a younger player. You have to respond. 
This is somebody who wants to gain the. 
respect you already have. And maybe 
he will. It's just that you don't want it 


to happen this year. That's one of the 
things that keeps me going. 


8. 


PLAYBOY: How much do you talk on the 
court? 

JORDAN: Lam constantly trying to get an 
edge. There are a lot of mental chal- 
lenges. Maybe a guy expects me to 
drive, but I pull up for a jump shot. I 
might say, “This could go on all night." 
Or tell him he can't guard me. I might 
ask him a question. “How many do you 
want me to score?" 


93 


т лувоу: How does it feel when you're 
airborne? 

JORDAN: It's an act of creativity. You 
make it up as it goes along. I see things 
before they happen, things that might 
happen, and then alter them—adjust, 
dish off. It all seems very slow to me, 
but it might not to you. 


10. 


PLAYBOY: Why are NBA players such 
sharp dressers? 

JORDAN: There are probably more 
sweaters and jeans in baseball. In a bas- 
ketball locker room the guys are put- 
ting on suits. There's more style, more 
trendsetting. Here's my theory: It's be- 
cause people see us wearing shorts all 
the time. We're so visible on the bas- 
ketball court, running around in our 
shorts, that we want to compensate 
when the game's over. 


11. 


PLAYBOY: Three years ago you quit 
hoops to try baseball, a more contem- 
plative game. How did you kill all the 
downtime? 

JORDAN: You'll do anything to bide time 
while waiting for your turn in the bat- 
ting cage, waiting out a rain delay or 
riding in the bus. I learned to play 
hearts, and I also played checkers and 
dominoes.l (concluded on page 173) 


123 


PICA YS BOK 


124 


DON KING алое) 


At Harvard Law School, King revealed his guiding 
principle: “Money is the answer, go get money.” 


broke, sued King for his money, King 
paid him $50,000 in cash to drop the 
lawsuit. 

After the book came out and HBO 
had purchased the film rights, I en- 
countered King in the men's room of 
the federal courthouse in Manhattan, 
where he was on trial for insurance 
fraud. I didn't know what to expect 
from my formidable adversary in the 
closed privacy of the washroom. 

But his immensely likable, good-hu- 
mored streak came out, instead of his 
brutal, bully side. He just looked at me 
zipping up my fy and exclaimed: “I 
read in the papers that I am now feed- 
ing your whole motherfucking family.” 

And he laughed—“Hee, hee, hee," 
the way he did back in 1990, quite bois- 
terous but with cold, dead eyes. 


Don King isa hip exploiter, an intel- 
ligent flesh peddler. He knows which 
fighters to steal, how to exploit any- 
one's vice, vanity or insecurity and 
make a profit for himself. 

A famous story he often tells about 
himself is of what happened in 
Kingston, Jamais in 1973. King ar- 
rived for a bout in the limousine of the 
heavyweight champion, Joe Frazier. As 
George Foreman, the challenger, be- 
gan to win the fight, King inched to- 
ward Foreman's corner. When Fore- 
man knocked out Frazier, King 
jumped into the ring with Foreman's 
faction, hugging the new champion 
and shouting, “You're my man!" 
King left the stadium in a limo with. 
Foreman. 

King always ends the Foreman-Fra- 
zier story with the same punch line: “1 
came with the champion and I left with 
the champion." 

"This anecdote captures King's ruth- 
less opportunism and fickle loyalty, 
though he thinks the story reflects fa- 
vorably on his cunning. 

In 1983 King promoted a heavy- 
weight title match in Cleveland be- 
tween Michael Dokes and Gerri Coet- 
zee. King usually referred to Dokes as 
“ту son" and "my favorite fighter." But 
Dokes admitted he had used cocaine 
less than 48 hours before his fight with 
Coetzee, a white South African whom 
King pretended to despise. 

Coetzee knocked Dokes out cold in 
the tenth round. 

Then came one of the defining mo- 
ments of King's life. He jumped into 


the ring, in his tuxedo and gold jewel- 
ry stepped right over the fallen black 
champion he had called his son and 
embraced the new white champion 
from the land of apartheid. King was 
hugging Coetzee before Dokes could 
regain his senses and make his way out 
of the arena. 

Before the fight, King had signed 
Coetzee to a contract with many op- 
tions in case he conquered King's 
"son." 

No one can take away from King the 
historical fact that he has promoted 
some of the greatest fights of all time: 
Ali-Foreman in Zaire, Buster Doug- 
las-Tyson in Tokyo, Holmes-Norton in 
Las Vegas and the Homeric confronta- 
tion between Ali and Frazier in Manila, 
the third of their trilogy. The most re- 
cent was Evander Holyfield's upset 
over Tyson in November 1996. 

And his memory is precise—when 
it suits him. Writer Mark Jacobson 
once borrowed an umbrella from him, 
and two years later, despite all the 
events that had intervened. King 
suddenly asked Jacobson, "Where is 
my umbrella?" 

Even King's enemies in the boxing 
business—and he seems to have plenty 
of them—acknowledge his mental, tac- 
tical and financial mastery. 

Seth Abraham is the president of 
Time Warner Sports—of which HBO 
Sports is a division. He was allied with 
King for 14 years, but they fell out bit- 
terly in 1990 when King demanded 
that Abraham fire Larry Merchant as 
HBO's on-camera boxing commenta- 
tor because Merchant, a good reporter, 
asked Tyson probing questions that 
were not easy to answer. Abraham said 
no, driving King and Tyson to the rival 
Showtime cable network. 

"Today Abraham says, “He has the 
most brilliant business mind 1 have 
ever encountered. Don King is formi- 
dable in his sleep." 

Lou DiBella is HBO's top boxing ex- 
ecutive and a passionate reformer of 
the cruelest sport. He told me: "Don 
can con anyone. He is brilliant and has 
no conscience. I marvel at his ability to. 
get people to do things contrary to 
their own best interests. He can steal 
from you and persuade you to say 
"thank you’ to him. ТЇЇ tell you how re- 
sourceful I think Don is. I wouldn't flip 
a two-headed coin with him if 1 had 
heads." 

King has survived: two federal trials, 


almost four years in prison, a quarrel 
with John Gotti, an FBI sting and an 
assassination attempt when he was run- 
ning the numbers rackets in Cleveland 
in 1957. 

Now, at the age of 65, he remains the 
predominant power in boxing as Ty- 
son's promoter. Despite his criminal 
past and rascal reputation, he is a ce- 
lebrity with surprising respectability 
who turns up in surprising places. 

For example, shortly before last 
Christmas, King turned up at а crowd- 
ed White House reception for contrib- 
utors to the Democratic National Com- 
mittee and the Clinton presidential 
campaign. Visitors to King's office can't 
miss the autographed photographs of 
the three presidents who preceded 
Clinton. In politics as in boxing King 
knows how to position himself next to 
winners. 

In September 1996 King spoke to 
300 students at Harvard Law School, 
where he joked about having already 
spent more time in courtrooms than 
those future litigators ever would. Dur- 
ing this speech King revealed his guid- 
ing principle: “Money is the answer to 
all things, so go get some money.” The 
students listened respectfully. 


. 


Perhaps the best example of his mar- 
keting virtuosity can be found in 
heavyweight Peter McNeeley, King's 
“great white hope” who fell into the 
footsteps of previous white hopes 
Chuck Wepner and Gerry Cooney. 

King signed McNeeley to a four-year 
contract in 1994, while Tyson was still 
in prison for rape. As soon as Mc- 
Neeley signed with King he started to 
move up in the ratings, from 20 to 
11to9. 

King was preparing and packaging 
McNeeley to be Tyson's first postprison 
turkey feast. 

When the Tyson-McNeeley match 
was announced in May 1995, King 
truthfully told the public that McNee- 
ley hada 36-1 record, with 30 wins via 
knockout. The numbers were impres- 
sive enough that King could charge 
pay-per-view subscribers as much as 
$60 to order the Tyson-McNeeley 
event. He priced ringside seats at 
$1500 cash. 

The hidden fact was that almost 
every opponent McNeeley had beaten 
had had a losing record at the time. He 
had never beaten a contender. The 
combined record of his 37 rivals was 
206 wins, 441 defeats and 21 draws. 
They had already been knocked out a 
combined total of 160 times before 
they were deemed hopeless and vul- 
nerable enough to become statistics in 
McNeeley’s official record. McNeeley 

(continued on page 166) 


“Dadgummit, Tex. I thought I was yer sidekick!” 


125 


ү: E ms. resnick believes 
in full disclosure 


HEN 1 was asked by rLayBov to do this pictorial,” says Faye Resnick, "I did 


a lot of soul-searching. Ultimately, I decided it would be a liberating 

experience. Because of what I've been through in the past two and a 

half years I had lost my sense of joy. I'd become isolated and discon- 

nected spiritually. The experience proved to be even more incredible 

than I expected—it was my first taste of freedom," she adds, referring 
to her unsolicited transition from anonymity. 

"It was actually part of my reawakening. And I've never had a problem with nudity. I'm 
comfortable with my body. From my Mediterranean background I'm very European in my 
thinking, and Europeans aren't judgmental. To them, nudity is considered natural. I strongly 
believe the human body should be celebrated." 

Faye had another reason for choosing to do this pictorial. "I am an unconventional woman,” 


she continues, "and I realize 1 will always be controversial because I speak my mind without 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY STEPHEN WAYDA 


127 


editing what's politically 
correct. I say what's in my 
heart." Faye doesn't want 
to place resuictions or lim- 
its on herself. “Through 
my recovery I've learned 
that I don't need to, nor do 
I ever wish to.” 

The author of two 
books—Nicole Broun Simp- 
son: The Private Diary of a 
Life Interrupted and Shat- 
tered: In the Eye of the 
Storm—Faye is currently at 
work on her third, The Re- 
invention of a Woman. Its 
a self-help book that, she 
says, “will enable women to 
understand that their past 
has nothing to do with 
their future. That we can 
all change ourselves and 
our lives.” 

“It has been my experi- 
ence that women must find 
their own voices and speak 


with conviction without be- 


coming abrasive or alienat- 


ing men. So many women 
feel powerless and not in 
control of their own des- 
tiny. The solution is for us 
to embrace our femininity 
as well as our power. 

Faye is a leading voice in 
the fight against domestic 
violence. She founded 
Domestic Violence Anony- 
mous, a program that now 
exists in various cities across 


the country. She created a 


MAKEUP BY ALEXIS VOGEL 
HAIR BY DANIEL DICRISCIO FOR JOSÉ EBER 
SALON. BEVERLY HILLS 


14-step program for wom- 
en who believe it's impos- 
sible to turn their lives 
around. As an advocate for 
abused women, Faye has 
appeared on national talk 
shows and has made nu- 
merous personal appear- 
ances. She has spent hours 
counseling women. To 
strengthen herself, she has 
been practicing meditation 
and tai chi every day for 
the past year and a half. 
As a proud liberal, she is 
determined to help wom- 
en through difficult transi- 
tions in their lives. 

Faye's greatest joy, she 
says, "is sharing my life 
with my daughter? Her 
greatest pain: "Losing my 
best friend." Her wishes 
for the future: "Healing 
and understanding be- 
tween the sexes and races." 

When Faye is not taking 
care of her daughter, or 
writing or speaking, she 
enjoys reading and watch- 
ing the classics on AMC 
and INT. “Those were 
gentler days,” she says. “1 
can't take all the violence 
of modern films. There's a 
great quote from one of 
my favorite films: 'Once 
you find the way, you'll be 


bound. It'll obsess you. But 


believe me, it'll be a mag- 


nificent obsession.” 


STYLING BY JENNIFER TUTOR 
TERESA OLSEN, PRIVATE TRAINER. LOS ANGELES 


TAKES THE STAND 


vincent bugliosi, 
former los angeles 
prosecutor, meets 
The star witness 


соз: Faye, before we get into 
Nicole and your friendship with her, 
tell us how and when you met her. 
RESNICK: In the spring of 1990 Kris 
Kardashian was staying with me while 
she was in the middle of her divorce 
from Robert Kardashian. And one day 
she asked if I would like to meet a 
woman she felt would be a great friend 
to mc, because we had a lot in com- 
mon. So she took me to Rockingham to 
meet Nicole. And that's when she was 
married to O.J. Simpson. 

BUGLIOSI: You eventually got to know 
Nicole very well. So many things have 
been written and said about Nicole, 
several contradictory. How would you 
describe her? 

RESNICK: Well, I can see how people get 
the impression she is an enigma be- 
cause there were so many facets to 
Nicole. She vas multidimensional. She 
was a great friend, a wonderful mother, 
yet at the same time she was very liber- 
al in her thinking. She was very close 
to her family. She was so conventional 
in many ways and, on the other hand, 
she wanted to enjoy her life. O.J. and 
his defense team put a pejorative spin 
on that. 

BUGLIOSI: What adjectives would de- 
scribe Nicole? 


ILLUSTRATION BY ANITA KUNZ 


PLAYBOY 


RESNICK: Oh my God, she was sweet, 
she was wonderful, she was caring and 
compassionate. She was sincere. She 
wasn't the typical celebrity who had lost 
the ability to want to make a change in 
the world. 

BUGLIOSI: What was the average day 
like in the life of Nicole when you got 
10 know her pretty well? 

RESNICK: She would wake up very early 
every morning, and I would typically 
get a phone call from her. She would 
gether children ready for school, she'd 
pack their lunches and make their 
breakfasts, take them to school and 
then afterward, after her run, we 
would meet for coffee. She would run 
between five and nine miles every day. 
And after that, because she was playing 
the role of mother and father—O.]. 
was out of town most of the time—she 
was doing it all. She would take the 
kids to karate class, she would take 
them to ballet or jazz. She would spend 
time doing their homework with them 
She would read to her children at night 
for hours, bedtime stories, and she 
would put them to sleep. And some- 
thing J think a lot of people don't know 
about Nicole is that she was very proud. 
of the ethnicity of her children. She 
was born in Germany and wanted very 
much to have Sydney and Justin speak 
German, to understand both sides of 
themselves, so she read them bedtime 
stories in German. She also wanted 
them to know as much about their 
black culture as possible, and to be 
proud of it. 

BUGLIOSI: So you would rate Nicole 
very highly as a mother? 

RESNICK: She would receive the highest 
rating asa mother. 

BUGLIOSI: As you may know, І no longer 
call О.]. Simpson what most people still 
call him—O.J. To me, someone who 
does what he did to Nicole and to Ron 
Goldman forfeits the right to any en- 
dearing nickname, so I'm going to be 
calling him Simpson or O.J. Simpson 
during this interview. Is that OK? 
RESNICK: Yes, of course. 

BUGLIOSI: You've described Nicole as 
being a wonderful mother. What kind 
of wife was she to O.J. Simpson? 
RESNICK: I didn't really know them 
when they were married. I knew them 
when they were trying to reconcile. She 
tried in every way to balance mother- 
hood with her relationship with him. 
She felt that they were equal responsi- 
bilities. She was respectful, unless she 
was pushed to the limit. 

BUGLIOSE To your knowledge, during 
her marriage to Simpson was she al- 
ways faithful to him? 

RESNICK: Absolutely, to my knowledge. I 
know nothing to the contrary. 

BUGLIOSI: Did she ever talk with you 
about that? 


RESNICK: Yes. She said she took her 
vows seriously, that she would never do 
anything to ruin her relationship. 
BUGLIOSI: When did you become a close 
friend of Nicole's? 

RESNICK: July 4, 1992. 

BUCLIOSI: Why do you remember that 
particular date? 

RESNICK: Because it was at the Jenners’ 
house in Malibu when we were having 
a Fourth of July party. Nicole and I be- 
came immediate friends that day. That 
was after she had filed for divorce. We 
became great friends from that day. 
BUGLIOS!: She was no longer living with 
Simpson at that time? 

RESNICK: No, she wasn't. 

BUGLIOSI: Where was she living? 
RESNICK: At the time, on Gretna Green 
in Brentwood. 

BUGLIOS!: That was pretty close to the 
Bundy address, right? 

RESNICK: It was blocks away, very close. 
pucLios1: What would the two of you 
typically do when you were together? 
RESNICK: Well, we were both mothers, 
so we would go grocery shopping to- 


O.J. could sell anything. He 
could sell you a glass 
of sand in the desert, that's 
how successful he was at 


being charming. 


gether. When we were redoing our 
homes, we would help each other pick 
out furnishings and accessories for 
them. And we would shop together for 
shoes for our kids. We would plan our 
holidays together and take our chil- 
dren to the movies. We would go to 
swap meets. We would, at times, go 
out and enjoy ourselves, go dancing— 
which I'm very proud of and which is 
something we have been attacked for 
doing. When the big earthquake hap- 
pened we took our kids down to Lagu- 
na Beach and stayed together until the 
disaster was over. During the riots in 
Los Angeles we took our children to 
Mexico until the riots ended. 

BUGLIOSI: Would you see her or talk 
with her almost every day? 

RESNICK: Oh, every day. I used to talk 
with her sometimes four times a day. 
BUGLIOSI: Tell us about some of the 
more memorable times you spent with 
Nicole and Simpson socially. I'm refer- 
ring to the trips to Mexico and things 
like that. 

RESNICK: Well, the first time I really 


spent a lot of time with them together 
is when Nicole and I planned a trip to 
Cabo San Lucas. 

BUGLIOSI: When was that? 

Resnick: That was in May 1993. My ex- 
husband has a villa in Cabo San Lucas. 
1 asked Nicole if she and the children 
would like to come to join us. And they 
did, and that’s when Nicole and O.J. 
started talking about a reconciliation. 
He decided to come, which he did, for 
five days. It was Mother's Day and it 
was lovely. They were trying to put it 
back together. It was a real nice time. 
Of course, they had some difficulties, 
as people do when they're trying to 
reconcile. 

BUGLIOsI: Was that the only time you 
spent together in Mexico? 

RESNICK: No, there were other times. 
Another time in Cabo San Lucas was 
Easter of 1994. That’s when the Jen- 
ners and all of us went down and had a 
big Easter-egg hunt. It was family and 
wonderful. At times it was just great— 
when ОЈ. and Nic were doing well. 
BUGLIOSI: Were there other places you 
went with Nicole and Simpson? 
RESNICK: To New York in 1993 for the 
opening of the Harley-Davidson Café. 
OJ. wanted Nicole and me to come in 
and be with him for that and we did. 
BuGLiosı: Was he associated with the 
café? 

RESNICK: One of his best friends, Mark 
Packer, was one of the owners. 
sUGLIOSI- People want to know what 
financial background you had that en- 
abled you to move and socialize in 
Nicole's and Simpson's wealthy circles 
of friends. 

RESNICK: I've been a wealthy woman for 
most of my adult life. 1 was married to 
a very wonderful, successful business- 
man, Paul Resnick. 

BUGLIOSI: When were you married 
to him? 

RESNICK: From 1985 until 1991, I was 
with Paul. Here in Beverly Hills. 
BUGLIOSI: And you had a big, beautiful 
home? 

RESNICK: Yes. It was similar to Simp- 
son's Rockingham estate. 

BUGLIOSI- І read somewhere that you 
renovated the home to the tune of a 
million dollars. 

RESNICK: Yes. We put $1.3 million into 
our home. And it was quite spectacular. 
It was Michael Eisner's old home. 
BUGLIOSI: Was your divorce from Paul 
amicable? 

RESNICK: Yes. He is a wonderful father 
anda man full of integrity. 

BUGLIOSI: When you divorced Paul in 
1991, was there a financial seulement 
between the two of you? 

RESNICK: Yes, there was. I received 
$500,000 in cash and additional prop- 
erty totaling close to $200,000. 
BUGLIOSI: So at least during your adult 


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PLAYBOY 


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life, you've always been a person of, shall 
we say, easy circumstances? 
RESNICK: Yes. 
BUGLIOSI: Going back to O.J. Simpson, 
Faye, how would you describe him? 
RESNICK: This man, if you want to call 
him a man, is very charismatic and very 
winning. 1 wouldn't call him very in- 
telligent. 1 would call him very street- 
smart. He was jovial and used to make 
you feel like the most important person 
around, whether you were a plumber or 
a movie star. 
1: So he wasn't arrogant? 
No, he wasn't exactly arrogant. 
He was omnipotent. It's strange because 
he is a dichotomy. He has two very 
strong personalities. One is very win- 
ning, very charming, very lovely. And 
the other is narcissistic and megalomani- 
acal. He felt he should receive all the 
attention. 
BUGLIOSI: Did you find him to be a per- 
son who would take liberties with the 
truth? 
RESNICK: Oh yes. The truth is what he 
created in his own mind. In fact, I asked 
him once, "O.J., how have you been able 
to get away with all of the drug abuse 
and womanizing and everything? How 
have you been able to hide it, being in 
the public eye?” 

And he said, "Well, Faye, I learned 
very early in life: Deny, deny, deny. You 


give "em a good enough story and say it 
long enough, and finally they begin to 
believe it. 
DUGLIOSI: Was he able to charm people? 
Resnick: I'd say O.J. could sell anything. 
He could sell you a glass of sand in the 
desert, that's how successful he was at 
being charming. 

BUGLIOSE But he was totally absorbed 
with himself? 

RESNICK: Oh, extremely narcissistic. It 
was all about O.J. Unless he was trying to 
charm you. 

BucLıosı: What type of father was he to 
Justin and Sydney? 

RESNICK: One of the saddest aspects of 
this is that he wasn't, in my opinion, a 
great father nor did he even try to be. 
Nicole used to always say, “Take Justin 
out and play some football with him. 
Take him to the park.” Or, “Take him 
golfing with you,” or whatever. But it 
wasn't something he really had in him to 
do. He just didn't really have that father 
mentality. 

BUGLIOSI: Let's get into a description of 
the relationship between Nicole and 
Simpson. Clearly, it was tempestuous, 
but how would you describe it? 

RESNICK: Because it was so good when it 
was good and because it was so bad when 
it was bad, it was the height of dysfunc- 
tion as far as I was concerned. You never 
knew when it was going to be great and 


“What makes you think l'm—keep your hands where 
I can see them—a cop?" 


you never knew when it was going to be 
tragic. And when I say tragic, they would 
go from them just loving each other to 
the point where it was sickening to 
watch—I mean, truly—to the next day, 
or even half an hour later, where you 
wanted to crawl under the table. I just 
wanted to disappear because it was so 
frightening. It would change from one 
minute to the next. 

BUGLIOSI: Like Kansas weather. 

RESNICK: Yes. 1 remember saying to 
Nicole one time, “I cannot make com- 
mitments to be with the two of you any- 
more.” It got so bad at times that you 
would never know what was going to 
happen. 

BucLiosı: There was a tremendous 
amount of passion on both sides? 
RESNICK: There was so much passion that 
it was unbelievable. 

BUGLIOSI: Did Nicole ever tell you 
whether or not she felt Simpson truly 
loved her? 

RESNICK: She said that he was obsessed 
with her. There was a day of revelation 
for Nicole, and it was in Cabo San Lucas, 
during that last trip, in April 1994. It 
was actually the same day she told me 
about all the abuse. And she said, “I have 
finally realized that he doesn't love me. 
He's just obsessed with me." But up un- 
til that time she thought it was a love 
relationship. 

BUGLIOSI: Approximately when did уой 
first learn of Simpson's physical and psy- 
chological abuse of Nicole? 

RESNICK: In 1993 we were at Toscana, a 
restaurant in Brentwood. We were dis- 
cussing whether or not she would ever 
have any more children. She explained 
why she would never have another child 
with O.J. She said she was kicked and 
punched and harmed by Simpson dur- 
ing the time she was pregnant with 
Justin. Not only did he physically abuse 
her, he also mentally abused her. She 
said he used to womanize intensely when 
she was pregnant. 

BUGLIOSI: So she first told you about this 
at this restaurant? 

RESNICK: Yes. But she limited what she 
told me to the beatings he had given her 
while she was pregnant. I didn't learn 
about all the other beatings until she told 
me about them in April 1994 in Mexico. 
BUGLIOSI: We all know about the 1989 
beating when she called the police and 
said he was going to kill her. He ended 
up pleading nolo contendere to that. 
Tell us about some of the beatings of 
Nicole by Simpson that Nicole told you 
about but that did not come out at the 
criminal trial. 

RESNICK: Oh my God, there were so 
many. 

BUGLIOSI: Tell us about some of them. 
Resnick: She told me one evening in 
Mexico in April 1994 about the full ex- 
tent of the abuse. She needed to sit me 
down and finally go through it all. And it 
was horrific, to say the least. There was 


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142 


one instance when he had locked her in 
a closer. 

BUGLIOSI: Approximately when was this? 
RESNICK: She didn't go through years, 
but it was definitely while she was mar- 
ried to him. He was going with Tawny 
Kitaen at the time. It had to be in May 
right before one of her birthdays. Nicole 
had found a pair of diamond earrings in 
his drawer and thought they were going 
to be hers for her birthday. She put the 
carrings back in the drawer because she 
didn't want him to know that she'd 
seen them. Anyway, her birthday came 
around and she didn't receive the dia- 
mond earrings. They were missing from 
his drawer. So she confronted him with 
"Where are those earrings?" She found 
out that he had given them to Tawny Ki- 
taen. Tawny was wearing them around 
town, bragging about O.J. giving them 
to her. Nicole couldn't turn a blind eye to 
it. She asked him what he was doing, 
why he was throwing this in her face, 
why he was being so frivolous about it 
and flaunting it. And he beat her vicious- 
ly. I believe that was the night he locked 
her in a closet after beating her. He 
threw her in that closet and he would 
come back every 15 minutes—he was 
watching a game ofsome type on TV. He 
beat her again. And she would think he 
was coming back to let her our. But he'd 
beat her again. It happened for hours. 


Nicole could barely walk afterward. That 
was the night, she told me, she thought 
he was going to beat her to death. An- 
other time she was beaten by him with a 
corked wine bottle. 

BUGLIOSI: When and where was this? 
RESNICK: Again, 1 don't know exactly 
when, but it was during their marriage 
and at their Rockingham home—down- 
stairs in the bar. I don't know the cir- 
cumstances that led up to it, but know- 
ing O.]. it could have been anything. She 
said that he beat her one time because 
the towels were not lined up geometri- 
cally. But this particular time he took a 
wine bottle and beat her, bruising her 
ribs. She couldn't walk; she went to the 
hospital. And the doctor said, "This 
looks like you've been beaten by your 
husband." And she denied it. She told 
the doctor, “No, 1 fell off a bicycle." OJ. 
told her to say that. 

Those are just a couple of incidents. 
BUGLIOSI: Were there many other times 
she told you he beat her? 

RESNICK: Many other times. She said 
there were 100 many to count. 

BUGLIGSI: What were the beatings usual- 
ly over? 

RESNICK: Typically, over when she would 
accuse him of being with another wom- 
an. That was unacceptable to O.J., it was 
none of her business so far as he was 
concerned. 


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BUGLIOSI: You indicated earlier that he 
beat her when she was pregnant. He 
didn’t like it when she became heavy 
during her pregnancies? 

RESNICK: Yes, that’s correct. He didn’t un- 
derstand that a woman had to gain so 
much weight. He thought she could just 
manufacture a child and stay beautiful. 
BUGLIOSI: So he'd impregnate her and 
then, when she got heavy because of it, 
he'd get angry with her? 

RESNICK: He would get extremely angry 
with her. He would tell her she was dis- 
gusting, she was a fat pig. Nicole experi: 
enced so much mental abuse during her 
pregnancies that it was just devastating 
for her. She never wanted to have anoth- 
er child with him. 

BUGLIOSI: Was she aware of his womaniz- 
ing during their marriage? 

RESNICK: Absolutely, she was aware of it. 
BUGLIOSI: And she tolerated it for quite a 
long time? 

RESNICK: She did as long as she possibly 
could. He actually made her believe that 
it was his right. 

BUGLIOSI: In essence, for lack of a better 
term, she was somewhat of an old-fash- 
ioned woman. 

RESNICK: She was very old-fashioned in 
many ways. 

BUGLIOSI: Between the time the divorce 
was final in November 1992 and when 
they attempted to reconcile in May 1993, 
what was their relationship like? 
RFSNICK- Ir was practically nonexistent in 
the end. When Nicole first filed. O.J. was 
stalking her and doing everything in his 
power to get her back. When he realized 
it wasn't working, he wouldn't even 
speak to her. She would try to get hold of 
him to ask him questions about the chil- 
dren and he would communicate with 
her through his secretary, Cathy Randa. 
He essentially cut off Nicole as a human 
being, which I think was the problem. 
She was so emotionally dependent on 
this man, so tied in, that his cutting her 
off made her feel like she was nonexis- 
tent. It was probably the biggest reason 
she had to reconcile with him. This gets 
into a big area of domestic violence, the 
cycle of violence, what happens when 
you've been abused for 17 years and 
you're so intertwined with this personal- 
ity that when the relationship ends you 
no longer know how to function unless 
you get therapy. 

BUGLIOSI: Which person initiated the 
reconciliation? 

RESNICK: Nicole did. 

BUGLIOSE What was the main reason why 
she wanted to reconcile with Simpson? 
RESNICK: Actually, there were two rea- 
sons. Candace Garvey and Kris Jenner 
were at a prc-am golf tournament and 
they ran into O.J. and his girlfriend 
Paula Barbieri. O.]. said to Candace and 
Kris that he finally realized what he had 
done to his marriage, that he was now a 
monogamous man and he would nev- 
er jeopardize his new relationship by 


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144 


womanizing again. And that he was go- 
ing to be a diflerent person entirely. 
Well, Candace told this to Nicole. And 
Nicole immediately thought, My God, all 
lever asked for was for him not to abuse 
me and not to womanize. 

She was in therapy at the time. The 
counselor made Nicole believe she could 
control her own destiny, that she could 
reestablish her relationship with her ex- 
husband—and she wanted desperately 
to have her family back together. 
BuGLiost: Was she still in love with Simp- 
son at this point? 

RESNICK: Yes, she was. 

puctiost Did he immediately agree to 
the reconcihation? 

RESNICK- Actually, it took him about half 
an hour. He said, “Мо,” at first. And she 
said, "OK." 

And she went home, and half an hour 
later he called her and said, “Yes.” 
BUGLIOSI: Now, as I understand it, the 
reconciliation ended between the two of 
them somewhere around May 1994. Be- 
tween when they first attempted to rec- 
oncile, and when they finally ended it, 
there was about a year. 

RESNICK: Yes. During that year, Nicole 
had called off the reconciliation many 
times. It was like watching a tennis tour- 
nament. They would be doing very well 
and then she would see that he hadn't 
changed and she would call it off Then 
he would send flowers and say, *I swear 


I love you.” And it would be back on. So 
it was on and off throughout that year. 
BUGLIOsI: During that period of attempt- 
ed reconciliation, was Nicole faithful to 
Simpson? 

RESNICK: During the time she was sleep- 
ing with ОЈ. she was faithful to O.J. But 
whenever Nicole would call it off, she felt 
that it was like filing for divorce, that 
she was no longer with him. She distin- 
guished that line. 

BUGLIOSI: As І understand it, somewhere 
around May 23 or 24, 1994, which was 
just a few weeks before the murders, 
Nicole returned to Simpson a bracelet. 
and earrings he had bought her for her 
35th birthday on May 19. Did she tell 
you what she told Simpson when she re- 
turned the bracelet and earrings? 
RESNICK: Yes. She said, "Get out of my 
life, I cannot be bought. I don't want 
these things." Actually, she didn’t return 
them, she threw them at him. She had 
just had it with O.J. She said, “Get out of 
my life, take your things, I don't want 
your presents." 

BUCLIOSI: Did she tell you what finally 
caused her to end the reconciliation 
effort? 

RESNICK: Yes. We had heard he was sec- 
ing Paula Barbieri again and Nicole 
pushed it out of her mind—she really 
didn’t want to believe it. But then when 
we got to Mexico they were doing great. 
That night he began to describe his new 


“If we want this relationship to work, 
we'll have to start communicating. I'll go first—get your 
feet off the table.” 


role in the Frogman series pilot. He went 
into detail about the filming and what he 
had learned, about learning the “silent 
kill.” An ex-Navy Seal trained him on 
all these techniques. Nicole took it seri- 
ously. She said, “I believe this man will 
kill me someday. I've got to get away 
from him.” She just snapped. She real- 
ized that she was definitely going to die 
at his hands. 

BUGLIOSI: You spoke of techniques. Tech- 
niques for killing with a knife, you 
mean? 

RESNICK: Yes. And how to do it without 
the victim making any noise. So in early 
May, after we got back from Mexico, she 
told him it was over between the two 
of them. 

BucLıosı: Among the incriminating 
things found in Simpson's possession af- 
ter the low-speed chase—items that the 
prosecution remarkably did not present 
at the trial—were a fake goatee and a 
mustache purchased on May 27, 1994, 
two weeks prior to the murders and a 
few days after Nicole gave him back the 
bracelet and earrings. His attorneys said 
he bought the disguise to wear for an 
upcoming wip to Disneyland he was 
planning with his children Sydney and 
Justin. You have been with Simpson 
many times in public. Did you ever sce 
him wearing a disguise or hear of his 
doing so? 

RESNICK: Never. 

BucLiost: Simpson was not the type of 
person to wear a disguise in public 
RESNICK: No, Simpson loved to be seen. 
То this day Simpson doesn't wear dis- 
guises, and he's a double murderer. He 
never wore a disguise. I've been to Dis- 
neyland with the Simpson family. He 
loved it; he wanted the attention. 
BUGLIOSI: What would happen if he 
wasn't recognized? 

RESNICK: He would let people know he 
was there by raising his voice. Simpson 
didn't even want to go to Europe be- 
cause he wasn't recognized in Europe. 
Recognition was something that he had 
worked for all his life. 

pucLiost: Would you go so far as to say 
that when Simpson wasn't recognized in 
public, he would actually become de- 
pressed over it? 

RESNICK: That's true. He would feel he 
wasn't getting what was due him. He 
needed the adulation. It was his life- 
blood. 

BUGLIOSI: So you find the notion that he 
would buy a disguise to go to Disneyland 
with his children or anywhere else in 
public completely ludicrous? 

RESNICK: Absolutely. 

BUGLIOSI: You're aware that after Simp- 
son's arrest the police also found in 
Simpson's possession a set of keys to 
Nicole's condominium at the Bundy ad- 
dress. I understand that Nicole told you 
about the keys being missing. Could you 
tell us a little more about that? 

RESNICK: This was something I kept 


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saying to the prosecution over and over 
again, "Why don't you bring up the 
keys? 
BuGLiost: When did all this happen? 
RESNICK: It was on, I would say, June 5. 
About a week before the murders. 
BucLiosi: What did she tell you with re- 
spect to the keys? 
RESNICK: I had moved in temporarily 
with Nicole at Bundy around June 3 be- 
cause I was having a lot of problems with 
my fiancé, Christian Reichardt. Anyway, 
four or five days later Nicole was going 
to give me a set of keys, because 1 was 
leaving her house. I could no longer 
stand what was going on between Nicole 
and O.J. It was scary for me. He was act- 
ing crazy because she gave him back the 
earrings and bracelet. And I asked her to 
leave the country or to get away from 
him unul he calmed down, and she said. 
she couldn't because of Sydney's dance 
recital, which was coming up. So I said, 
"I'm sorry, Nic, I have to go. I have a 
child; I can't put my child in jeopardy.” 
So I was leaving and she said, “Well, 
before уси go. why don't I give you a set 
of keys so you can come back in." And 
she went into the drawer where they'd 
been and the keys were gone. She said, 
“Oh, my God. When O.]. was here visit- 
ing the kids, he must have taken the 
keys. Because they were just here." So 
we searched the house for the keys, but 
there were no keys to be found. 
BUGLIOSI: Were you personally aware of 
Simpson stalking Nicole? And if so, 
when and wherc? 
RESNICK: Yes, in a couple of instances. I 
recall one right after we got back from 
Mexico in May 1994. We were in front of 
Starbucks after working out that morn- 
ing. We had gone to have some coffee 
and Ron Goldman was there with four of 
his friends. That's when I met Ron. And 
O.J. came pulling up in his Bentley. 
BUGLIGSI: So who was sitting at the table 
there? 
RESNICK: It wasn't a table, we were on 
abench. 
BUGLIOSI: There was you, Nicole, Ron 
Goldman. .. . 
RESNICK: Mike, Doug, some of Ron's 


friends. And O.J. came walking up and 
he said, "This is my wife. I just want you 
to know this is my wife you're talking to. 
Nicole, I want to talk to you." 

So he summoned her over to the car. 
And she went over and he said, "You 
can't be with other men.” 

She said, “It's just coffee. We just got 
back from working out. I'm not with 
any men." 

And he left. She came back and said, 
"Let's go, Faye." 

When we left, we noticed O.]. was be- 
hind us, a couple blocks, following us. 
That was one experience. 

BUGLIOSI: Did Simpson ever see Ron and 
Nicole together on any other occasion? 
RESNICK: Yes, he used to see them seated 
next to each other at Starbucks. Because 
Ron would end his workout at the same 
time Nicole would end her workout. He 
always thought that they were having 
an affair. 

висіло. How do you know that? 
RESNICK: Because he said it to me. "She's 
seeing that guy," he said 

BUGLIOsI: Briefly describe the relation- 
ship between Ron and Nicole. 

RESNICK: To my knowledge, they were 
just friends. 1 know she thought he was 
quite handsome and he thought she was 
very beautiful, but as far as I know there 
was nothing but friendship. 1 asked her, 
in fact. And she said she had not seen 
him romantically. 

BUGLIOSI: On what other occasions were 
you aware of Simpson stalking Nicole? 
RESNICK: She said that she felt she was be- 
ing watched throughout the reconcilia- 
tion. One time she actually caught him: 
She was making a left-hand turn from 
Lincoln Boulevard into the parking lot 
of a shoe store, Aaron Brothers or Pay- 
less Shoes or something like that. O.J 
was behind her, a block behind, or a cou- 
ple cars behind, whatever. She saw him. 
And she actually stepped on her brakes 
so he would know that she saw him. 
Nicole called me up and said, "He's fol- 
lowing me again.” 

And then he called me and said, “She 
thinks I'm following her, I'm not follow- 
ing her.” 


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HE USED TO БЕРНЕ TO 


And I said, "O.]., what were you doing 
in that area? I know what your plans for 
the day were.” 

And he said, “Well, you tell her I'm 
not following, I wasn't following her." 

And I said, “But you were. I can't tell 
her that you weren't.” 

He would try to script me, tell me 
what to say to her. 

BUGLIOSI. Were there any other stalking 
incidents she told you about? 

RESNICK: Yes, in fact we called it the bush 
syndrome, because she said he used to 
hide in the bushes near the big front 
window at Bundy and watch what she 
would do at night. The Keith Zlomso- 
witch incident—when O.J. was hiding in 
the bushes watching them—is a good ex- 
ample of that. 

BUGLIOsI: When was that? 

RESNICK: This was right afier her divorce 
was finalized. It was 1992. 

BUGLIOSI: You're aware that Simpson ac- 
tally admits to looking through the 
front window and observing Nicole in an 
act of intimacy with Keith? 

RESNICK: Yes. 

BUGLIOSI- You say in your two books, 
Nicole Brown Simpson: The Private Diary of 
a Life Interrupted and Shattered: In the Eye 
of the Storm, that Nicole told you Simpson 
was going to kill her one day and get 
away with it because he was O.J. Simp- 
son. How many times did she tell this 
to your 

RESNICK: I really cant tell you how many 
times. 1 can tell you there were a lot of 
times. Approximately five or six. 
BUGLIOSI: When was the first time that 
Nicole told you this and what were the 
circumstances? 

RESNICK: The first time was in Mexico in 
early April 1994, when she decided he 
now had the capability and knew how to 
kill her. 

BUGLIOSI: She didn't indicate to you her 
fear of his killing her earlier than that? 
RESNICK: She had mentioned to me be- 
fore that when he had kicked her and 
punched her, she felt one day he might 
beat her to death. But the "he's going to 
kill me and get away with it" quote came 
in 1994, in Cabo San Lucas. She detailed 


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the entire abuse. She said, "I have to get 
away from him, I feel he's going to kill 
me one day. And he's going to get away 
with it. He's going to charm his way out 
of it." 

BUGLIOSI: Who were some of the other 
women who were part of your and 
Nicole's inner circle? 

RESNICK: Kris Jenner—Kris is married to 
Bruce Jenner, she's Robert Kardashian's 
ex-wife. Cici Shahian, Robert Kardashi- 
an's cousin. Cora Fishman, who was 
married to Ron Fishman. Robin Greer, 
who's an actress. And that was it. 
BUGLIOSI: Did any of them tell you Nicole 
had told them the same thing, that is, 
that she was afraid of Simpson killing 
her someday? 

RESNICK: Yes. Cici Shahian and Kris Jen- 
ner told me Nicole had told them Simp- 
son would kill her one day and get away 
with he also told Robin Greer the 
same 


n 


BUGLIOSI: I understand you talked with 
Simpson over the phone a lot. When did 
this start? 

RESNICK: It started after they initially rec- 
onciled in May 1993, in Cabo San Lucas. 
I became their mediator at that time, be- 
cause neither of them could communi- 
cate and they came to me for help. And 
from that day on I was their mediator. 
BuGLiosı: Would he usually call you, or 
would you call him from time to time? 
RESNICK: Almost always, he would call me 
on the phone. 

BUGLIOSI: What was the usual reason for 
his calls? 

RESNICK: To find out what Nicole was do- 
ing. To find out what Nicole was think- 
ing, to clear up things whenever they 
would fight. He'd give me his side, his 
point of view, get me to explain to her 
what he really felt, since he couldn't ex- 
press himself to her properly without 
upsetting her. 


"You knou, hon, I sometimes wonder what they do with 
all that rubber they buy from us . . . 1” 


BUGLIOSI: Would he ever complain to you 
about Nicole? 

RESNICK: All the time. 

BUGLIOSI: What would he say? What were 
some of his complaints? 

RESNICK: That she wasn't there 100 per- 
cent for him. That she was more inter- 
ested in her children than in him. That 
she didn't drop everything for him. He 
complained that she wasn't going to 
enough parties with him. She didn't put. 
him before everything else. She wasn't 
traveling with him encugh. 

BUGLIOSI- In these conversations with 
Simpson, did he ever threaten to kill 
Nicole? 

RESNICK: Yes. 

BUGLIOsI: How many times? 

RESNICK: Three times. 

BUGLIOSI: When's the first time that he 
told you this and what were the 
circumstances? 

RESNICK: The first time was early May 
1994. Nicole had told him that he need- 
ed to see a shrink to work out his de- 
mons. And he assured her he had. She 
had talked to him after he got back from 
the shrink's office and she asked him, 
“Did you discuss all the abuse in the 
past?” 

And O.J. said, “What does that have to 
do with anything?” 

She said, “It has to do with everything. 
I'm afraid that someday you'll hurt me, 
and I feel that you need to have therapy 
over what happened.” 

And he said, “It has nothing to do with 
anything. It happened in the past. It 
doesn't need to be addressed.” 

And she said, "O.]., you're obviously 
not willing to work on anything. I want 
nothing more to do with you." 

BUGLIOSI: And after she told him this he 
called you on the phone? 

RESNICK: Yes, he did. He called almost. 
immediately. 

BUCLIOSI: Tell us what he told you. 
RESNICK: He told me that Nicole had just 
told him that she didn’t want to be with 
him anymore, that it was over. He was 
actually mad at me for not telling him 
beforehand. And I said to him, "O.J., 
she's afraid of you. You used to beat her. 
She wanted you to get help for that. You 
promised her you would address these 
things and you didn't." 

And he said, "It's not about that. I 
don't beat her anymore. I think it has to 
do with her seeing somebody else. She 
must be seeing another man. And if I 
find out that she's seeing another man, 
Faye, I promise, ГЇ kill her." And I said 
to him, “She's not sceing anybody, 1 can 
assure you, she just needs some time.” I 
was very afraid for her at that time and I 
was trying to ease it over. 

And he said, "Well, if I find out she's 
with another man before August, I'll kill 
her. I'll kill that bitch.” 

BUGLIOSI: What was the significance of 
August? 
RESNICK: It’s when he would go to New 


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York every year to start his NFL com- 
mentating. He spent essentially four 
months a year there. There, and travel- 
ing on the East Coast. 

BUGLIOSI: So he told you that if she were 
seeing someone before August 1994, he 
would kill her. 

RESNICK: Yes. 

BUGLIOSI: He flat-out told you that? 
RESNICK: He flat-out said so. 

BUGLIOSI: And then he told you two oth- 
er times, the same thing, over the phone? 
RESNICK: Yes. And I said to him: “I just 
want you to know what you just said.” 

And he said, “I'll kill her. I'll kill the 
bitch.” 

He was adamant. He was enraged 
BUGLIOSI: Did you ever urge Nicole to do 
certain things to reduce the likelihood of 
Simpson's harming her? 

RESNICK: Yes, I did. 

BUGLIOSI: What did you tell her? 
RESNICK: That she needed to document 
everything. She needed to go to the po- 
lice, she needed to go to her psychiatrist, 
his psychiatrist, they needed to open it 
up. It needed to be addressed in ev- 
ery way. 

BUGLIOSI: When you suggested she go to 
the police, what was her response? 
RESNICK: She said she didn't want to go to 
the police because she said the police 
had never helped her in the past. And 
that, you know, if they went and ques- 
toned O.J., that she was afraid what he 
might do to her. 

BUGLIOSI: Earlier you said that just before 
the murders you told Nicole to leave the 
country to get away from him until he 
calmed down. Had you on previous oc- 
casions suggested to her that she move 
away from him? 

RESNICK: Yes, but she said she didn’t want 
to uproot her children, that her children 
had been through enough because of 
their relationship, that she wanted stabil- 
ity for her children. That she felt maybe 
she could calm him down somehow. It 
was so bizarre because she knew it was 
going to happen, yet there was a fine 
doubt that it would. And she was cling- 
ing to that little gleam of doubt. She 
wasn't taking precautions. 

BUGLIOS!: I understand that you spoke 
to Nicole on the telephone the night 
she was murdered. Where were you at 
the time? 

RESNICK: I was in treatment at a recovery 
center. 

BUGLIOSI: For cocaine addiction? 

RESNICK: Yes. 

BUGLIOSI: And where is that located? 
RESNICK. In Marina del Rey. 

BUGLIOSI: What were the circumstances 
causing you to end up there? 

RESNICK: Nicole called for intervention 
when she found out that I had relapsed, 
and she called my ex-husband Paul and 
the Jenners and my close friends and 
they all told me they would like me to go 
into treatment, so I did. 


BUGLIOSI: When did you speak with 
Nicole on the night of the murders? 
RESNICK: Around nine r.M. Nicole had 
called me several times during the day, 
but I was in group therapy. 1 returned 
her calls around nine. 

BUGLIOSE Tell us what the two of you 
talked about. 

RESNICK: I asked her how the dance 
recital went. She told me it was wonder- 
ful, that Sydney had performed beauti- 
fully. Nicole was upbeat, in a wonderful 
mood. I asked her what happened with 
O.J. that night, because I knew that he 
was going to be there. She said, indeed, 
he had been there. He was in a deep, 
dark mood. I asked her if there had been 
an exchange between the two of them 
and she said she had told him, in fact, 
that he wasn't even welcome in her fam- 
ily anymore, that he should get out of 
her life 100 percent. 

BUGLIOSI: Did she tell him anything else? 
RESNICK: Yes. To leave her alone, leave 
her family alone, that he was no longer 
welcome in her family. 

BUGLIOSI: You've indicated earlier that 
they broke up and reconciled several 
times. And the first time it seemed to be 
final was in early May 1994, a little over 
a month earlier. 

RESNICK: Yes. 

BucLiost: It might be productive to try to 
distinguish Nicole’s breaking up with 
him in early May 1994 from the day of 
the murders. Was there a difference? 
RESNICK: Yes, Nicole got very sick in the 
middle of May. She had double pneumo- 
nia. She was at a weak point because of 
the illness. 

When she had returned from Mexico 
after the frogman incident, she told him 
she didn't want to continue with their re- 
lationship anymore and she told me he 
told her he’d kill her if she followed 
through on this. In any event, Simpson 
kept trying to get back into Nicole’s good. 
graces, and he thought her sickness in 
mid-May gave him an opportunity. ОЈ. 
took advantage of her being sick, he kept 
trying to weasel his way back in. And she 
had told me that she didn’t have the en- 
ergy to fight with him during that time. 
BUGLIOSI: He would bring her soup and 
things? 

Resnick: He was bringing her soup, he 
was having breakfast brought over. The 
jewelry situation came up when Nicole 
was getting better, She had her energy 
back and she told him: “O.]., look, I 
can't be bought. I don't want your pres- 
ents. I want you to leave me alone. You 
know this relationship is not healthy for 
either of us. I know we both still love 
each other, but it’s just not ever going to 
work out.” But O.J. still felt he had the 
ability to be a part of Nicole's life, no 
matter what she said. 

RUGLIOSI: So in early May she told him 
it’s over. Also, several days after her 


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birthday, on May 24 or 25, she returned 
the jewelry, she again said it was over. 
But he still senses that it’s only over with 
her because she has determined that 
they're totally incompatible. 

RESNICK: Right. 

BUGLIOSI: But he feels that he has а cer- 
tain control over her because she still 
loves him. She still belongs to him in 
a sense. 

RESNICK: Right. 

BUGLIOSI: But what about on the night of 
the murders? 

RESNICK: The night of the murders, 
Nicole was out of love with him. She was 
libcrated from him. The fecling was 
over. It was as if the spell was finally bro- 
ken. She was actually free of him. She no 
longer had him in her blood that night. 
She was able to free herself of any love, 
any want, any joy, any thought that she 
was ever going to be with him again. And 
I kept saying to her, "Cod, you're in such 
a wonderful mood." 

BUGLIOSI- So you sensed something dif- 
ferent in Nicole's feelings concerning 
Simpson that night, as opposed to previ- 
ous occasions? 

RESNICK: I felt that there were no feelings 
anymore. 

BUGLIOSI: For the first time. 

RESNICK: For the first time. 

BUGLIOSI: If you picked up that sense, it's 
reasonable to infer that Simpson proba- 
bly also picked up the same sense that 
night, that he truly and irrevocably had 
lost bis spell over her. 

RESNICK: Yes. But a most important facet 
that people don't get is that he always 
had an in with the family. He could al- 
ways get to Nic through her family. But 
when she told him that he wasn't even 
welcome in her family any longer, he lost 
all ties to Nic. He lost her, he lost her 
family, it was over. He knew it, I knew it, 
she knew it. 

BUGLIOSI: So you feel that maybe he 
could have continued to live with the sit- 
uation so long as she still loved him, but 
when he senscd she no longer did he 
could not take it. 

RESNICK: He couldn't take it. 

BUGLIOSI: Obviously, his killing her was 
a result of cumulative events, and 1 have 
heard you say that you believe he had 
been thinking about killing Nicole for 
some time, but what finally triggered 
it was that he felt that she no longer 
loved him. 

RESNICK: That's exactly correct. 

BUGLIOSI: When you knew that it was tru- 
ly over that night between Nicole and 
Simpson, did your fears about Nicole's 
safety increase? 

RESNICK: Yes. I had heard her say so 
many times before that she didn't want 
to be with him, but because I always 
knew she was still in love with him, I nev- 
er took it seriously. But when she told 
me that night, I felt, Wow! This is it, it's 


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done. It's over. I got nervous. I got so 
nervous for her. I said, "Nicole, aren't 
you nervous at all?" 

She said, "Faye, he's leaving for Chica- 
go tonight, it's over, it’s over with. I'm 
free. I can start living my life without the 
darkness that's been surrounding me for 
the past year." 

BUGLIOSI: Most people, myself includ- 
ed, conduded that Simpson murdered 
Nicole only after the evidence started 
pointing irresistibly to his guilt. At what 
point did you know for sure that he had 
murdered Nicole and Ron Goldman? 
RESNICK: The second I was told by the 
therapist that she had been killed, I 
knew that O.J. had killed her. 

sucLiosr. When did he tell you this? 
RESNICK: It was the next day, Monday, 
around ten in the morning. Hc said that 
Nicole had been shot. He said they 
thought it was a drive-by shooting. And 
I immediately said, "Nicole was killed 
by O.J. Simpson. Не told me he would 
murder her and he did it." That was 
what immediately came out of my 
mouth. 

BUGLIOSI: You obviously had to be totally: 
devastated by Nicole's death. Can you 
describe what you went through emo- 
tionally at the time? 

RESNICK: Ihe month and a half that led 
up to the death of Nicole was more than 
devastating. It was like watching a train 
wreck, knowing that the end was com- 
ing. When it happened, I just kept 
scrcaming. I was just hysterical—they 
couldn't calm me. 


BUGLIOSI: Were you also afraid for your 
own safety? 

RESNICK: Definitely. I was fearful. Be- 
cause 1 knew O.J. knew exactly what 
I knew. He knew I was there at every 
moment. 

sucuiost: When did you finally find out 
that Nicole had been stabbed to death? 
RESNICK: I found out that night, Monday 
night. 

BUGLIOSI: Going back to Simpson's 
threatening to kill Nicole to you, I take it 
you communicated this to the prosecu- 
tors in the Simpson case, Marcia Clark 
and Christopher Darden? 

RESNICK: Yes, I did. 

BUGLIOSI: And inasmuch as this would 
have been highly explosive and incrimi- 
nating evidence against Simpson, do you 
know why they didn’t call you to the 
stand to testify to it? 

RESNICK: I was told originally by my at- 
torney that because I had been in treat- 
ment for my past addiction that I would 
never be able to testify, that the defense 
would use that against me. Shortly af- 
ter Nicole's murder the defense started 
floating rumors that the murders were 
my fault because of a drug connection. 
1 think the prosecutors didn’t want the 
jury members to even entertain the 
thought that something like that could 
have happened. 

BUGLIOSI: But it came out at the trial any- 
way—that you had lived with Nicole and 
had gone into treatment right before the 
murders because of your di ug probleui. 
resnick: Right. 


“It’s totally over this time. She had her taitoo removed.” 


BUGLIOSI: So the jurors already heard 
that. 

RESNICK; Yes, they did. 

BUGLIOSI: Did you want to testify? 
RESNICK: I never wanted to, but I felt it 
was imperative. 

BUGLIOSI: Well, you wanted to in the 
sense that you felt it was imperative. 
RESNICK: Yes. 

sUGLIOSI: Let's get back to your drug 
habit. On the last page of Simpson's 
book, / Ийт to Tell You, he says, “I know 
in my heart that the answer to the death 
of Nicole and Mr. Goldman lies some- 
where in the world that Faye Resnick in- 
habited.” And in Simpson's criminal tri- 
al, his attorneys suggested to the jury 
that Colombian drug lords ordered your 
murder because you owed them money 
for drugs—drugs you were too broke to 
pay for—and the hired killer or killers 
mistook poor Nicole for you. I'm not go- 
ing to ask you to dignify this preposter- 
ous allegation with a response, but for 
those benighted individuals who give 
even an ounce of credence to this allega- 
tion, tell us about the nature and extent 
of your drug habit. 

RESNICK: I had relapsed after two years of 
being drug free. It was two weeks prior 
to the murder of Nicole. And in those 
two weeks, I had consumed no more 
than $30 worth of cocaine a day. 
BUGLIOSI: A gram of cocaine sells оп the 
street today for approximately $100. So 
you were using about a third of a gram 
per day? 

RESNICK; Well, a quarter to a third. 
BUGLIOSI: And you were purchasing this 
from whom? 

RESNICK: From a friend of mine who isa 
businessman. By the way, he’s an Italian. 
BuGLIOsI: The laughability of all this is 
that although drug killings are common 
in the U.S., the Colombian drug lords 
have nothing to do with them. They do 
have a history, of course, of killing any- 
one in Colombia who opposes them, in- 
cluding, in 1985 in Bogotä, 11 supreme 
court justices who were about to rule on 
the constitutionality of an extradition 
treaty. But according to the Drug En- 
forcement Agency, the only record of a 
Colombian drug lord ordering a hit in 
this country of anyone not associated 
with the drug lord's enterprise was in 
1993 against a Hispanic journalist in 
New York City. He was an antidrug cru- 
sader, and that’s the only one. If you 
were to believe the defense, you were 
important enough for the Colombian 
drug lords down in Medellin and Cali to 
break with their policy and go after a 
small, private user. I'm being sarcastic, 
of course. 

RESNICK: I know. 

BUGLIOSI: With respect to the defense al- 
legation that you were too broke to pay 
for your drug habit, around the time 
of the murders, Faye, approximately 


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how much readily available cash did 
you have? 

RESNICK: Around $60,000. And I also had 
a credit line, my TRW credit report was 
excellent. 

BUGLIOsI; So you had all the conceivable 
money you needed to support a $20- to 
$30-a-day habit. 

RESNICK: Of course. 

BUGLIOSI: Was there ever an occasion 
around the time of the murders or any 
previous time when you couldn't pay 
cash for the cocaine that you were using 
each day? 

RESNICK: Never. It was nothing. It was 
not even so much as a dinner. 

BUGLIOS1. Simpson's criminal defense at- 
torneys allege that you used to borrow 
money from your fiancé at the time, 
Christian Reichardt, to pay for your 
drugs. What's your response to this? 
RESNICK: That is an outright lie. In fact, 
I used to loan Christian money. I di 
everything to finance his chiropractic 
office. I even ran his office for him and 
loaned him money whenever he asked 
for it. In fact, all of my friends and fami- 
ly would say to me, “It’s crazy, you need 
to stop supporting him.” 

BUGLIOSE When was the last time you 
had loaned Christian money, and how 
much did you loan him? 

RESNICK: He and his friend came to me 
about three months before the murders 
and asked me to lend him $20,000, and 
1did. 

puctiosi: Has he ever paid that money 
back? 

RESNICK: Not a penny. 

BUGLIOSI: Are you presently drug free? 
RESNICK: Yes. Absolutely. 


висцові And how long have you been 
drug free? 

RESNICK: Since three days before Nicole 
was murdered. Thank God, that is part 
of my past. I never do that again. 
BUGLIOSI: While we're talking about drug. 
use, did you ever personally see Simpson 
use cocaine? 

RESNICK: Yes. The first time was at the 
Harley-Davidson Café in New York in 
1993. Right at the table, in front of 
everyone, he started tooting it. I told 
him I was uncornfortable with that be- 
cause it was so out in the open, but he 
said no one was paying attention. And, 
as I have said in my deposition, Nicole 
told me more than once that O ].'s drug 
use was substantial, and about his 
“Christmas tree,” a mason jar he kept in 
his closet upstairs that contained all 
types of drugs in different-colored cap: 
sules. In fact, in certain circles he was 
known as Snow J. 

BUGLIOSI: Faye, before we discuss other 
matters, I want to ask you a question 
about something that troubles even 
many of your supporters. What comes 
across in your books and in everything 
you have said 15 that Nicole was your best 
and closest friend. You loved her dearly 
and were profoundly wounded by her 
death. With that in mind, how do you 
reconcile writing in your first book about 
the physically intimate night you spent 
with Nicole? At least among some peo- 
ple, couldn’t this only hurt the memory 
of Nicole? 

RESNICK: Yes, I do believe it hurt the 
memory of Nicole. And I'm sorry that 
that information ever got out. I would 
never have spoken about it unless I felt I 


“We've rescheduled your surgery for tomorrow, Mr. Cooper. It seems 
they left your heart in San Francisco.” 


had to, because I felt it was irrelevant, I 
felt it was nothing that harmed anyone 
and it need not have been told. But 
when I was writing my first book in Ver- 
mont with my co-author, Mike Walker, I 
started getting phone calls from all of my 
friends. Kris Jenner called me, Christian 
called me, Cici Shahian called me. I even 
got a message from Nicole's mother, Ju- 
ditha Brown, asking me if, in fact, it was 
true that Nicole and I had spent one in- 
timate evening together. I didn't know 
what else to do. 

BUGLIOSI: Did they indicate to you how 
they had learned about it? 

RESNICK: They told me that Cora Fish- 
man had gone to them and told them 
that Nicole had told her. My initial re- 
sponse was, Why would Cora tell any- 
body? It was nobody's business. It was 
nothing that had to do with this case. 
When I found out Cora had told Juditha 
Brown about that night, and then when 
I found out that she had also told O.J., I 
knew that it was going to come out in the 
press. I knew that it would probably hit 
the trial. 

BUGLIOSI: So you felt the story's being out 
there was a fait accompli? 

RESNICK: Yes, and I wanted to explain it 
the way it truly was, rather than have 
people accept the embellished version, 
because Cora was making it sound as if it 
wasn't just one night. Which is all it was. 
BUGLIOSI: Did you have any evidence that 
Cora had already approached the media 
at the time that you were in Vermont 
writing your first book? 

RESNICK: Yes, I did. My co-author, who is 
an editor for the Enquirer, which also 
owns Star magazine, told me that Cora 
Fishman had approached the Star with a 
story regarding Nicole and me spending 
that night together. And it was indeed 
published. She had approached Barbara 
Walters with the story. She did, in fact, 
eventually go on Barbara Walters’ show 
and talk about the intimacy. So 1 felt the 
only thing to do was to address it in as 
delicate a manner as possible. And to at 
least get the truth out, not the embell- 
ished version that I was hearing. 
BUGLIOSI: Do you still associate with the 
same mutual friends you and Nicole had. 
when she was alive, other than Cora 
Fishman? 

RESNICK: Yes, I do. We have made a bond. 
with one another to always stay together, 
protect one another and make sure 
nothing happens to any of us. 

BUGLIOSI: But you have nothing further 
to do with Cora Fishman? 

RESNICK: Right. We don't even acknowl- 
edge her presence on this planet. 
BUGLIOSI: What are your feelings about. 
the not-guilty verdict in the criminal 
trial? 

RESNICK: I was so embarrassed to be 
called an American. I feel that there is no 
justice, and the loss of innocence for me 
in secing our judicial system fail so mis- 
erably was overwhelming. I feel that 


Nicole's and Ron's lives were discounted 
in three hours and it was just the same 
feeling that I felt when JFK was assassi- 
nated. It was a visceral blow. 

BUGLIOS!: In Dominick Dunne's fore- 
word to your second book, Shattered, he 
wrote, “I learned very quickly that Faye 
was no airhead cashing in on her friend's 
murder. She didn't mince words. She 
said exactly what she thought, she was 
smart, she knew the score. To my amaze- 
ment, words such as brave and fearless 
came to my mind." By the way, I agree 
with Dominick, but is that the way you 
perceive yourself, brave and fearless? 
RESNICK: I thank Dominick for writing 
the foreword to my book. He is one of 
my heroes—besides you, Vince. I don't 
take the credit for being fearless or 
brave. I give that credit to Nicole. I just 
did what I felt had to be done. I believe 
in friendship and I believe that if people 
don’t stand up for one another, then 
what do we have? We have nothing. 
BUGLIOSI: One of the ironies in the Simp- 
son case is that Simpson is black in color 
only, having long ago dissociated himself 
from the black community and having 
never suffered as an adult from the dis- 
crimination against blacks in our society. 
Yet, by the defense fraudulently inject- 
ing race into the case before a predomi 
nantly black jury, Simpson benefited 
from all the wrongs perpetrated against 
blacks through the years, particularly by 


those perpetrated by certain elements in 
law enforcement. Does it strike you as 
odd that Nicole did not want Simpson to 
forget his black roots and urged him to 
help poor and otherwise disadvantaged 
blacks? 

RESNICK: No. Nicole always encouraged 
OJ. to do more for his community than 
he was willing to do. And it was a sore 
point between them. But OJ. felt it was 
very controversial. He had crossed the 
line. In fact, we used to make fun of him, 
we used to call him a white Jewish man. 
BucLIOsI: To his face? 

RESNICK: Yes. 

BUGLIOSI: What would he say to that? 
resnick: Oh, he laughed. He thought 
that was hilarious. Most of his best 
friends were these old Jewish guys at the 
golf club, so that’s what we used to call 
him. His only two black friends were— 
and I thought it was very sad and so did 
Nic—Marcus Allen and А.С. Cowlings. 
BUGLIOSI: So in the last analysis, Nicole, 
whose murderer was freed in large part 
because he is black, had more compas- 
sion and concern for black people than 
her murderer did. Does that seem to be 
a fair assessment? 

RESNICK: Absolutely. 

BUGLIOSI: Comment briefly on some of 
the people you've met during the past 
two years in connection with this case, 
starting with Robert Kardashian. He 
was, as we all know, a close friend of OJ. 


Simpsor’s and part of Simpson's defense 
team. He wasa friend of yours, as well, I 
understand. You wrote that he was one 
of the people floating rumors that some 
Colombians were after you 

RESNICK: Yes, 1 was wounded when I 
learned he had a part in attacking me. I 
know that Robert is a religious man, and 
it shocked me that he would join that 
team. I'm well aware, from having many 
conversations with Robert over the past 
few months, that he has been haunted by 
this, that he was in terrible denial when 
the trial first started. He truly believed 
what his friend had said to him. And 
I will not join the team of, you know, 
he's damned if he does and damned if 
he doesn't. I'm glad that he's telling as 
much of the truth as he possibly can at 
this point. 

BUGLIOSI: A.C. Cowlings. 

RESNICK: It's sad—I feel like A.C.'s really 
a victim in this, too. A.C. has interfaced 
with O.J. throughout their entire lives 
and has no other options than to defend 
his friend. Nicole used to love A.C. I 
know A.C. loved Nicole. And I find the 
position that A.C. is being put in to be 
horrible. 

BUGLIOS!: So you sympathize with А.С. 
Cowlings and actually like him. 

RESNICK: I do. I do sympathize with him. 
I don't like what he's doing, but I under- 
stand it. 


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RESNICK: Well, Kato, we always called him 
the court jester since he couldn't actually 
answer a question. In fact, I kept saying, 
“Where did he get that lobotomy?” I'm 
glad that he, too, has come clean with 
what he truly knew. I wish he only would 
have been honest and truthful at the tri- 
al, but I know he was terrified. 
BUGLIOSI: What about Marcus Allen? 
How does he fit in, if at all, to what ulti- 
mately happencd in this case? 

RESNICK. Well, Marcus Allen is onc of the 
few people who actually walked out of 
this case unscathed. He would not re- 
spond, did not respond, except to deny 
everything. And he was able to quash all 
subpoenas for the criminal case because 
his residences were out of the state of 
California. He did have a relationship 
with Nicole. When Private Diary first 
came out, Marcus Allen's attorney, Ed 
Hookstratten, said Marcus would sue me 
for saying so, though he knew that it was 
corroborated by three other sources. 
Marcus and Nicole did indeed have an 
affair. And Marcus never sued me. 
BUGLIOSE When did that affair start? 
RESNICK: It started when O.J. would not 
talk to Nicole at all. It was after the di- 
vorce was final in 1992, 

BUGLIOSI: Was Simpson aware of the 
affair? 

RESNICK: Yes, he was very aware of the re- 
lationship and it made him absolutely 
crazy. Marcus was one of the many rea- 
sons Simpson was acting wildly over 
Nicole. Marcus and Nic stopped seeing 
each other when Nicole and O.J. recon- 
dled. And Nicole made ОЈ. a promise 
and Marcus made O.J. a promise that 


they would never see each other again. 
The month before she died, Marcus 
started seeing Nicole again. 

BUGLIOSI: When's the last time you're 
aware of that Marcus was with Nicole? 
RESNICK: Two weeks before she died. 
BUGLIOSI: She told you that? 

RESNICK: Yes, she did. 

BUGLIOSI: Getting into the area of domes- 
tic violence, you say in Shattered that sta- 
tistics show upwards of 4 million women 
are living in abusive relationships. 
RESNICK: Well, 4 million women report 
the abuse. But when we include the inci- 
dents that are not reported, the num- 
bers are much higher, of course. I think 
the saddest fact is there are three times 
as many animal shelters in this country 
as there are shelters for abused women. 
I think it's something that we all need to 
take a look at. That, and the fact that in 
this country 11 women a day are mur- 
dered by their intimate partners. 
BUGLIOSI: What advice would you give to 
women who are in abusive relationships? 
RESNICK: The advice 1 would give first of 
all is to call a hotline for advice and help. 
Secking shelter is important, but it’s not 
enough. Victims have to address the 
problem in therapy. 

They need to understand how to start 
living a different life. And they need to 
have the batterer receive some therapy 
as well, because without that, there is 
no hope. 

If your abuser is not willing to get 
therapy and if you’re not willing to ad- 
dress the problem and handle it profes- 
sionally, then you should accumulate all 
the documents—your child's and your 


birth certificates, all of the papers—and 
start saving some money so that you can 
plan your way to freedom. So that you 
can start supporting yourself when you 
escape from that relationship. Restrain- 
ing orders are essential, the police need 
to know about it, your doctors need to 
know about it, it needs to be brought to 
the attention of the public. 

BUGLIOS: What's the most important 
rule to follow? 

RESNICK: Do not wait until the next time. 
Start planning, start taking care of your- 
self immediately. 

висіло. Because inevitably there is go- 
ing to be another time? 

RESNICK: There is always another time. 
Unless the batterer seeks treatment, he 
vill always be a batterer. 

BUGLIOSI: One final question. Гуе heard 
that before Nicole was murdered, you 
had plans to open a coffeeshop together. 
Tell us a little about it. 

RESNICK: Nicole and I wanted to have 
complete independence. We thought it 
would be great to open up a business of 
cur own. And because we worked so well 
together in whatever we did, and we got 
along so well, we thought we'd make 
great business partners. So we had the 
idea that we would open up this poetry- 
reading type of French coffcc shop. We 
wanted to call it the Java Café, where a 
gentler, civilized, philosophical group of 
people would come in for verbal and lit- 
erary exchange. We were going to have 
artists and poetry readings. And that was 
cur dream. That was what we were 
working on. 

BUGLIOSI: Had you set aside a certain 
amount of money for that? 

RESNICK: Yes, we were both planning on 
investing $40,000 into the first one. Ini- 
tially we were going to start one and 
then open others, because at that time, 
coffechouses were becoming so big in 
Los Angeles. 

BUGLIOSI: Did you happen to talk with 
Nicole about this during the last conver- 
sation you had with her, on the night shc 
was murdered? 

RESNICK: Yes, I did. Because Nicole was 
free of the spell of O.]., she told me we 
could now start planning all of the things 
that we were going to do. | was getting 
treatment, she had just released herself 
from that relationship. So essentially 
anything that ever held us back was now 
gone. So we were talking about how nice 
it feels to be autonomous women and 
how incredible it would be to have our 
business. 

BUGLIOSI: So Nicole was very excited on 
the night she was murdered about going 
into this coffeehouse venture with you? 
RESNICK: She was so excited—it's hard to 
express the freedom she felt that night. 
She was in just the greatest, most amaz- 
ing mood. I had never sensed her to be 


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158 


3001: IH HNL ODYSSEY continued from page 92) 


The dinosaur returned his stare, doubled back into the 
shed and emerged with a rake and garden shears. 


Immediately beneath them was a group 
of slender trees that Poole could not at 
first identify. Then he realized they were 
oaks, adapted to one sixth of their nor- 
mal gravity. What, he wondered, would 
palm trees look like here? Giant reeds, 
probably. 

In the middle distance there was a 
small lake, fed by a river that meandered 
across a grassy plain, then disappeared 
into something that looked like a single 
gigantic banyan tree. What was the 
source of the water? Poole had become 
aware of a faint drumming sound, and 
as he swept his gaze along the gently 
curving wall, he discovered a miniature 
Niagara with a perfect rainbow hovering 
in the spray above it. 

He could have stood there for hours, 
admiring the view and still not exhaust- 
ing all the wonders of this complex and 
brilliantly contrived simulation of the 
planet below. As it spread out into new 
and hostile environments, perhaps the 
human race felt an ever-increasing need 
to remember its origins. Of course, even 
in his own time every city had its parks as 
reminders—nsnally feeble—of nature. 
The same impulse must be acting here 
on a much grander scale. Central Park, 
Africa Tower! 

“Let's go down," said Indra. “There's 
so much to see, and I don't come here as 
often as I'd like." 

Followed by the silent but ever-pres- 


ent Danil, who always seemed to know 
when he was needed but otherwise kept 
out of the way, they began a leisurely ex- 
ploration of this oasis in space. Though 
walking was almost effortless in this low 
gravity, from time to time they took ad- 
vantage of a small monorail, and 
stopped once for refreshments at a café 
cunningly concealed in the trunk of a 
redwood that must have been at least a 
quarter of a kilometer tall. 

There were very few other people 
about—their fellow passengers had long 
since disappeared into the landscape— 
so it was as if they had all this wonder- 
land to themselves. Everything was so 
beautifully maintained, presumably by 
armies of robors, that from time to time 
Poole was reminded of a visit he had 
made to Disney World as a small boy. But 
this was even better: There were no 
crowds and indeed very little reminder 
of the human race and its artifacts. 

They were admiring a superb collec- 
tion of orchids, some of enormous size, 
when Poole had one of the biggest 
shocks of his life. As they walked past a 
typical gardener's shed. the door 
opened—and the gardener emerged. 

Frank Poole had always prided himself 
on his self-control and never imagined 
that as a full-grown adult he would give 
a cry of pure fright. But like every boy cf. 
his generation, he had seen the Jurassic 
movies—and he knew a raptor when he 


VES e, 
TT 


“For all of that, he still doesn't know which way the wind blows." 


met one eye-to-eye. 

"T'm terribly sorry,” Indra said, with 
obvious concern. “I never thought of 
warning you.” 

Poole’s jangling nerves returned to 
normal. Of course there could be no 
danger in this perhaps too-well-ordered 
world, but still! 

The dinosaur returned his stare with 
apparent disinterest, then doubled back 
into the shed and emerged again with a 
rake and a pair of garden shears, which 
it dropped into a bag hanging over one 
shoulder. It walked away from them with 
like gait, never looking back as 
disappeared behind some ten-meter- 
high sunflowers. 

“I should explain,” Indra said con- 
tritely. “We like to use bio-organisms 
when we can, rather than robots—I sup- 
pose it's carbon chauvinism! There are 
only a few animals that have any manual 
dexterity, and we've used them all at one 
time or another. 

"And here's a mystery that no one's 
been able to solve. You'd think that en- 
hanced herbivores such as chimps and 
gorillas would be good at this sort of. 
work. Well, they're not; they don't have 
the patience for it. 

“Yet carnivores like our friend here 
are excellent, and easily trained. What's 
more—here's another paradox!—after 
they've been modified they're docile and 
good-natured. Of course, there are al- 
most a thousand years of genetic engi- 
neering behind them, and look what 
primitive man did to the wolf, merely by 
trial and error!” 

Indra laughed and continued: “You 
may пог believe this, Frank, but they also 
make good babysitters—children love 
them! There's a 500-year-old joke: 
"Would you trust your kids to a di- 
nosaur?' "Whai—and risk injuring it? 

Poole joined in the laughter, pardy in 
shamcfaccd rcaction to his own fright. 
То change the subject, he asked Indra 
the question that was still worrying him. 

“АП this," he said, "is wonderful, but 
why go to so much trouble when anyone 
in the tower can reach the real thing just 
as quickly?" 

Indra looked at him thoughtfully, 
weighing her words. 

“That's not quite true. It's uncomfort- 
able—even dangerous—for anyone who 
lives above the half-g level to go dovn to 
Earth, even in a hoverchair. So it has to 
be this or—as you used to say—virtual 


Now I'm beginning to understand, 
Poole told himself. That explains Ander- 
son's evasiveness, and all the tests he's 
been doing to scc if Гус regained my 
strength. 

Ive come all the way back from 
Jupiter, to within 2000 kilometers of 
Earth—but I may never again walk on 
the surface of my home planet. 


GLAMOURCON 


(continued from page 119) 
Bettie wasn't a bombshell like Marilyn 
Monroe, stripper Blaze Starr and pin-up 
girl Irish McCalla. She was naughty and 
nice, somehow suggesting forbidden 
fruit and apple pie at the same time. 
Which made it all the more shocking 
when America's secret sweetheart began 
appearing bound and gagged in under- 
the-counter bondage photos. It was all in 
the game for Bettie, who saw bondage as 
one more way of cavorting with the cam- 
era. But then, in 1958, she disappeared. 

Before long Page's fans were collect- 
ing and trading Bettie memorabilia. 
Their hobby soon embraced all sorts of 
sexy items. Today's Glamourcon still fea- 
tures the traditional Bettie Page look- 

ike contest, and you'll see vintage Lili 
St. Cyr movie posters beside classic i: 
sues of Sir! magazine. But there's mod- 
ern glam as well: topless holograms, 
voluptuous robots and Pasta Erotica 
noodles in unlikely shapes. This is where 
the girl modeling latex underwear lends 
her pen to the guy hawking sexy CD- 
ROMs. Yes, it's where the rubber meets 
the info highway. 

“We got a big boost when he started 
coming,” says Schultz, nodding toward a 
hubbub at the door. In walks Hugh M. 
Hefner, moving slowly, signing auto- 
graphs, ringed by flashbulbs and grasp- 
ing hands like a prizefighter. The con- 
vention gained stature when PLAYBOY'S 
founder recognized it as the ficld's 
official shin: As a veteran exhibitor 
says, "We're legit. Hey, we're on the TV. 
news now." 

And fast outgrowing the Imperial 
Ballroom. You can barely move without 
jostling an underwear model or Vam- 
pirella impersonator. Hef and his small 
posse move past a bank of TV monitors. 
The screens show him hosting Lenny 
Bruce and Nat King Cole on Playboy Af- 
ter Dark. He reaches the hub, greets the 
Playmates, nods like Captain Kirk as he 
inspects the PLAYBOY exhibit. Suddenly a 
chemist bursts from the crowd. Don 
Troy, 38, waves a piece of the past at the 
publisher—nothing less than the 1953 
Marilyn Monroe rLAvboy, which Troy 
got for $1200 in 1990. A lifclong collec- 
tor, Troy took his prize from its safe-de- 
posit box and flew here from Chicago, 
hoping to get Hef to sign i 

“1 can't turn that down," Hef says— 
and, with one scrawl, doubles the maga- 
zine's value. 

Glamourcon is "part of the retro phe- 
nomenon that includes James Bond, the 
Beatles—a wide range of Hollywood col- 
lectibles as well as pin-up art," says 
Hetner. "Glamourcon is special to us at 
PLAYBOY," he says, "because it is rooted in 
what was called Good-Girl Art, a style of 
pin-up art 1 was very avare of when I 

owing up." The naughty but nice, 
daring yet lighthearted spirit he saw in 


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PLAYBOY 


such pin-up queens as Irish McCalla, the 
sultry star of Sheena, Queen of the Jungle, 
influenced the magazine he invented. 
"This year Hefner made his invention's 
command of the event official, approv- 
ing the ballroom's gleaming central dis- 
play and its celebrity Playmates. 
"The Playmates are as impor- 
tant as movie stars here,” he 
says. “That’s gratifying to me be- 
cause it shows that the Playmate 
represents something more 
than a photo feature. Their fans, 
of course, never forget." The 
hutchmaster understands fan- 
dom. "I'm a kid who had pin- 
ups on his wall. I participate in 
the fans’ romantic nostalgia," he 
says. "You know, if I hadn't cre- 
ated the magazine, I'd proba- 
bly be on the other side. I'd be 
afan." 

Fans line up and Playmates 
sign, adding worth to every 
curved collectible they put their 
special Playmate pens to. Occa- 
sionally a collector offers the ul- 
timate compliment: ^I will never sell 
this one." 

“We have a responsibility here," says 
Miss May 1991 Carrie Yazel. "rraypov's 


presence matters. We have to look classy. 
We have to be classy. This isn't Panty Ex- 
press anymore." Yazel, a blonde in a 
slightly tight yet businesslike black dress, 
says she and 20 other Playmates had a 
lunch meeting to plan their appearance 
here. Hence the clean lines of 
their New York black dresses 
and suits today—a sharp con- 
trast to Bondage Darla and the 
nearby Indian maiden wearing 
a see-through hatchet belt. 
“We're here to have a little 
fun, make a little money and 
make Glamourcon legitimate 
and professional,” Carrie says. 
She makes it sound like a 
business meeting. Which is 
what Glamourcon is becoming 
as it grows. Still, glam has qual- 
ities that won't soon fall prey 
to accountants. In the course 
of interviewing Carrie Yazel, 
you ask for her PLAYBOY trading 
card, It features her without 
the businesslike dress or any- 
thing else. 
“I think we're succeeding,” she says. 


“Don't you?” 
[у 


Know your Ploymotes! In cose you weren't oble to identify them oll, here's some help. 
(1) Christino Leardini. (2) Rebecco Ferrotti, (3) Potty Duffek, (4) Cormen Bera, (5) Tino 
Bockroth, (6) Monique Noel, (7) Rhondo Adoms, (B) Jennifer Lovoie, (9) Bonnie Mori- 
по, (10) Michele Droke, (11) Reogon Wilson, (12) Debi Nicolle Johnson, (13) Mori- 
onne Grovotte, (14) Moreno Corwin, (15) Morlene Jonssen, (16) Corrie Yozel, (17) 
Donno Perry, (18) Jonet Quist, (19) Jonnie Nicely, (20) Petro Verkoik, (21) Noncy Hor- 
wood, (22) Potti Reynolds, (23) Hef, (24) Judy Tyler, (25) Victoria Volentino, (26) Cethy 
Rowland, (27) Alono Soores, (28) Eliso Bridges, (29) Rochel Jean Morteen, (30) Donno 
Edmondson, (31) Gwen Wong, (32) Stocy Sonches, (33) Shoron Johonsen, (34) Echo 
Johnson, (35) Heleno Antonoccio, (36) Victorio Fuller, (37) Monique St. Pierre, (38) 
Angelo Melini, (39) Cothy St. George, (40) Peggy Mcintoggort, (41) Bonnie Large, (42) 
Olo Roy, (43) Helle Michoelsen, (44) Jessica Lee, (45) Lillion Müller, (46) Gina Gold- 
berg, (47) Korin Toylor, (48) Liso Boker, (49) Сере Lind, (50) Julie Lynn Ciolini, (51) 
Cyndi Wood, (52) Cynthio Myers, (53) Debbie Beostrom, (54) Liso Morie Scott, (55) 


Carole Vitole, (56) Liso Welch 


New Sex 
(continued from page 90) 


have to wait until 2001 if I didn't ask for 
it.” And while some guys are better than 
others, it almost never feels bad. So do it. 


MOD MOODS 


If the best sex you ever had was when 
you fucked an old girlfriend from be- 
hind while watching Sportscenter, 1 would 
suggest that you not do that with your 
new lover. To set an appropriate mood, 
just remember to please all five senses. 
Don't smell like a stale cigar, taste like 
beer, watch ESPN, listen to gangsta rap 
or let her feel crusty sheets. Though she 
doesn't want you to be a nancy-boy, some 
soothing turn-ons you could try are a 
stick of incense, or mood lighting, or 
champagne. Here's one of the best ideas 
I've heard for helping a new lover get to 
know your body: Blindfold her and tie 
her hands behind her back. Put a drop 
of honey on your body and tell her to 
find it with her tongue. Doesn't that 
sound sweet? Be sure to reciprocate, 

Once you are past the dinner-and- 
movie-date stage, one of the best and 
most popular ways to spend an evening 
is watching a video. There's nothing bet- 
ter than going to a vidco store together. 
Your instinct with a new girlfriend may 
be to rent a chick flick, such as Л Postino 
or Sense and Sensibility. But get a sexy 
one, too. Think Body Heat, Exotica or Last 
Tango in Paris. Avoid Blockbuster, be- 
cause there's no X-rated section for her 
to drift into. You would be surprised at 
how many women suggest renting a 
porno tape. 

I once knew a guy who always told his 
dates that the TV in his living room 
wasn't working, so they'd have to watch 
the one in the bedroom. If you have on- 
ly one TV, move it into the bedroom. 
You could say, "I've never seen that film 
9% Weeks. And look, there's all this food 
in my fridge!" 


SEX TOY STORY 

Because the erotic charge is strong in 
the early weeks, you can eventually 
break out the food, handcuffs or tantric 
sex moves. Part of new sex is bonding 
and establishing a rhythm, so don’t jump 
the gun. The best time to start using sex 
toys is when you're starting to feel com- 
fortable but not yet stuck in a routine. 
One woman told me that she once 
walked into her new boyfriend's room to 
find him sitting on his bed holding 
handcuffs and smiling. She thought, 
Ooh, creepy. What's he thinking, that 
I've never seen handcufis before? Why 
isn't he saying anything? Don't suddenly 
rcach under the bed and cuff her. She 
will wonder where you got them and 
who you used them on last (women can 
be bitchy that way). The key is to work in 
an intermediate step. Talk about it dur- 
ing sex but save the actual cuffing for the 


next time. Try tying her with cloth be- 
fore you get to metal. One woman might 
like hearing that you want to tie her up 
so she can lie back and enjoy it; another 
may think that's too passive. If she'sa bit 
tougher, you could tell her that she can 
tie you up afterward—make it sound 
rough-and-tumble. 


THREE STRIKES 


Be careful bringing up the topic of 
threesomes. Women know this is a fa- 
vorite male fantasy, but in the beginning, 
she'll want to focus on you, not her cute 
girlfriend. Also, maintain your privacy 
about your past when it comes to turn- 
ons and fantasies. Since you are strip- 
ping away the mystery as you talk, you 
need to do things to keep sex light and 
adverturous. 


SIGN LANGUAGE 


Pay attention to the signals she sends. 
1f she says, "I love it when you kiss my 
neck," do it. Many men say, "I'm not go- 
ing to do that. I want to prove that I 
can be creative and that I can make a wo- 
man feel good without being told how." 
Come on—give her credit for saying 
what she wants. 

While good sex is about giving plea- 
sure, to some extent it's also about being 
selfish. A sexually experienced woman 
will know her favorite positions for 
achicving orgasms. She'll either tell you 
or show you by, say, getting up on all 
fours. Lots of guys tell me, "I know how 
to make a woman come." It's not the 
man's responsibility to give a woman an. 
orgasm. It should be something she can 
do for herself. That's the selfish part of. 
sex. If she likes, she should show you 
what you can do to help, or you can ask 
her to masturbate during intercourse. 
Enjoy it. Good sex is when you are not 
worrying about who's coming when. 

Don't ask, "Was it good for you?" Nev- 
er fish for compliments about how good 
you are. 


BOOTY POWER 


"The boldness associated with a new ro- 
mance also allows us to seek out wild and 
slightly crazy places to have sex. Let 
your lust flow. Play footsie under the 
table at the restaurant while meeting her 
parents. When she visits you at work, see 
if she'll sneak a blow job under your 
desk. At a party, have a quickie in the 
bathroom. If you're in high school or 
college, this is probably one of the only 
private places you have. But if you've 
been out of school for a while, try it 
again. Make out in the back of a movie 
theater and get a hand job while you're 
at it (this is probably inevitable, anyway, 
so savor it). These are some of the valu- 
able, exciting memories you'll rack up 
before you establish a routine of doing it 
in bed every time. One of the odder sto- 
ries I've heard is from a woman who was 
spending the day in a public park with 


her new boyfriend. They had a footrace 
and she fell and bruised her behind (she 
was wearing a skirt). Her boyfriend 
picked her up and carried her to a fairly 
isolated park bench. "Somehow," she ex- 
plains, "he went from drying my tears 
and cleaning the wound to kissing my 
face and fingering me. I came so hard I 
got splinters in my butt. We had to play 
doctor all over again when we got 
home." 


COME ACAIN? 


Something else to please her: Always 
have time to make love once more. 
When you spend the night (most likely 
she wants you to), take an extra 15 
utes to have sex before you leave in the 
morning. What makes new sex great? 
Urgency. It's when you want her, need 
her and she wants to devour you. In 
those moments, all the sex pressure— 
the clumsiness, the erection problems, 
the nerves—falls away and lust takes 
over. When you are both dressed and 
ready to go to a party, make yourselves 
late: Strip, mess yourselves up and have 
sex before you leave. Also, pay attention 
when she offers to go down on you. Blow 
jobs are a point of pride for many 
women—they see it as a performance. 
Let her do what she wants. 


LOVE VERSUS ROMANCE 


In the carly going you may start to feel 
that you arc in love. It's widely believed. 
that when “I love you” is said in bed, it 
doesn't count. (unless you've already 
been saying it—which means you better 
say it in bed, and often). Women, of 
course, love to hear “I love you," but if 
you haven't said it before, try not to say 
it for the first time in bed. A friend told 
me that with his previous girlfriend he 
liked to rest his head on her chest and 
listen to her heartbeat. He made the mis- 
take of telling this to his new girlfriend, 
and now every time he goes to lick or 
suck her nipples, she presses his head to 
her chest. 

Finally, whether or not you ever say “1 
love you," you can still try to do some ro- 
mantic things that will make new sex 
special for her. No matter how liberated 
today's women are, many still love old- 
fashioned romance. I used to say on my 
television show that I love to get flowers 
But male guests would tell me that they 
never give flowers because they think it's 
too much of a cliché. Granted, romance 
has evolved over the past few years. It 
used to be romantic to write a love note; 
now it's romantic to send e-mail. So I'm 
told that my old favorite, flowers, is a 
cliché. "Anyone can get flowers," one 
guy told me, “so why would a woman 
think that's special?" Listen—most guys 
don't give anything, so if you buy flowers 
you are a step ahead. The rest of the an- 
swer: Women love them. 


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STYLE 
Page 28: Sports coats: By 
Perry Ellis, at Marshall 
Field’s. By Arnold Brant, at 
AK. Rickks, 616-957-3242. 
By Andrew Fezza, at Bigsby 
& Kruthers, 312-944-6955. 
By Mickey Spatz, at Van 
Boven, 313-665-7298. By 
Nigel, at Mark Shale, 319- 
440-0720. “Hot Shopping”: 
Shipwreck, Ltd., 904-233- 
6750. Trader Rick's, 904- 


M 
; 


at Robert Marc, 212-799- 
4600. Page B2: Suit by Hugo 
Boss, 202-625-2677. Shirtby 
Calvin Klein, at Saks. Tie 
and shirt by Gene Meyer, at 
‚Charivari, 219-333-4040. 
Pocket square by Tino Cos- 
ma, 212-246-4005. Glasses 
and clip-ons by Matsuda, at 
Robert Marc Optiei 

219-799-4600. Tie: 
DKNY, at Macy's, 212-695- 
4400. By Joseph Abboud, at. 


235-3243. Rainforest, 904- 
230-8186, Hys Togger), 904-235-1177. By 
Origins, 800-ORIGINS, Lotions: By LOcci- 
tane, 888-MAD-AT-80. By Philosophy, 888- 
263-9243. 


WIRED 

Pages 32-33: Joysticks: By CH Producis, 
619-598-2518. By Microsoft, 800-426- 
9400. Controller by Thrustmaster, 503-639- 
3200. GPS device by Magellan. 800-707- 
ideo producer by Videonics, 800- 
DIT. Remote control by Blaupunkt, 
. “Multimedia Reviews & 
: By Interplay Productions, 
800-INTERPLAY. By Inscape, 800-693-3253. 
By Rom Antics, 219-941-7038. By Sony In- 
teraclive, 800-345-SONY. By VCA Inter- 
active, 800-895-8444. 


TRAVEL 

Page 34: Jacket by Willis Y Geiger, 800-223- 
1408. Book from Seven Hills Book Distribu- 
tors, 800-545-2005. 


ALL DRESSED UP 

Page 80: Suit, shirt and tie by £tro, 212- 
719-1645. Shirt by Charvet, at Bergdorf 
Goodman, 212-753-7300. Ties: By Tommy 
Hilfiger, at Macy's. By Lorenzini, at Barneys 
New York. By Tino Cosma, 212-246-4005. 
Socks by Gene Meyer, at Bloomingdale's. 
Shoes by Ferragamo, at Salvatore Ferra- 
gamo. Watch by Georg Jensen, 312-642- 
9160. Glasses from Retrospecs, at Robert 
Marc Opticians, 212-799-4600. Cuff links 
by Verdura, 212-758-3388. Page 81: Suit by 
Hugo Boss, 610-992-1400. Shirt by Gene 
Meyer, at Charivari, 212-333-4040. Tie, 
shirt and belt by £tro, 212-719-1645. Cuff 
links and watch by Verdura, 212-758-3388. 
Pocket square and tie by Robert Talbatt, at 
Nordstrom. Loafers by Granello, at Prada, 
212-308-2332. Socks by Latitude Fifty 
Three, at Nordstrom. Sweater by Malo, 
212-717-1766. Ring by David Yurman, at 
Neiman Marcus. Glasses by Freudenhaas, 


Saks, 212-753-4000. Shirt 
by Galvin Klein, at Louis, Boston, 617-262- 
6100. Belt by Torino, at Nordstrom. Watch 
by Gino Franco, at Macy's. Shoes by Adam 
Derrick, at Allure, 215-561-4242. Socks by 
Mountain High Hosiery, at Bloomingdale's. 
Page 83: Suit by New Republic, 212-219- 
3005. Shirts: By Calvin Klein, at Ron Ross, 
818-788-8700. By Ermenegildo Zegna, 212- 
751-3468. By Lorenzini, at Louis, Boston, 
617-262-6100. Glasses by Freudenhcas, at 
Robert Marc Opticians, 212-799-4600. 
Socks and sweater by Gene Meyer, at Bar- 
neys New York. Loafers by Susan Ben- 
nis/Warren Edwards, 800-634-9884. Belt by 
Nicole Farhi. Pocket square by Tino Cosma- 
Ties: By DKNY, at Macy's. By Charvet, at 
Bergdorf Goodman, 212-753-7300. Watch 
by Verdura, 212-758-3388. 


SPRING SKIING 

Pages 110-112: Big Mountain, 800-858- 
5439. Grand Targhee, 800-TARCHEE, 
Crested Butte. 800-544-8448. Park City. 801- 
649-8111. Brian Head, 801-677-2035. 
Breckenridge and Arapahoe, 800-248-0732. 
Telluride, 800-525-3455. Vail, 970-476- 
5601. Snow Summit, 909-866-5766. Snow 
Valley, 909-867-2751. Sierra-at-Tahoe, 916- 
659-7453. Mt. Rose, 800-SKI-ROSE. Sugar- 
bush, 802-583-2381. Loon Mountain, 800- 
229-LOON. Sunday River, 207-824-5004. 


SURF TV 

Pages 120-121: Terminals: By WebTV, 
800-GO-WEBTV. By Sony, 800-222-SONV. 
By Philips Magnavox, 800-597-1790. Mo- 
dem by Sega, 800-USA-SEGA. 


ON THE SCENE 

Page 175: Cuff links: From Robert Vance 
Lid., 847-367-1585. From James II Gal- 
leries, 219-355-7040. By Susan Maimon of 
Apropo, at Frank Stella, 212-757-2295. 
From Holland & Holland, 212-752-7755. 
From L-S Collection, 212-673-4575. By the 
Caroline Collection, 703-978-2576. 


CLINT EASTWOOD 


(continued from page 64) 
EASTWOOD: Enough said. 
PLAYBOY: So is this your final marriage? 
Ts Dina the last Mrs. Eastwood? 
EASTWOOD: This is it. Win, lose or draw. 
PLAYBOY: Does the age disparity concern 
you? She's 31, you're 66. 
EASTWOOD: Nothing to worry about 
there. I mean, it's never been an issue. I 
don't think about that. You're as old as 
you feel, and 1 feel great. Certainly if 
you're a man there are advantages to be- 
ing older. You're a little more giving and 
patient. You're not as self-oriented, al- 
ways out for the brass ring like when you 
were younger. None of us knows how 
long fate gives you on the planet. People 
get so concerned about age, about the 
future, they don't live out their moment 
today. Moment to moment. I'm im- 
mensely happy with Dina, and I feel I've 
finally found a person I want to be with. 
We have a great time. 
PLAYBOY: How did you meet? 
EASTWOOD: She's an anchorwoman with 
an NBC affiliate here, and she inter- 
viewed me after Unforgiven. She seemed 
very charming and nice and I liked her, 
but it was a friendly thing and then we 
just went our separate ways. But I liked 
her very much. 1 remembered her. And 
I think she felt the same way. I went to a 
function by myself some time later. I 
walked in and they said, “Oh, why don't 
you sit with Dina, she's also by herself." 
So we sat down and talked and laughed 
and danced and what have you, but we 
didn't arrange a date or anything. Then 
I went to another charity function, and 
again she was there. And we got talking 
again and by this time I was between re- 
lationships, and so we went out and had 
a beer and talked. The next few times we 
just went out and grabbed a beer and sat. 
and talked. We started to date occasion- 
ally after Bridges of Madison County. The 
one thing we always maintained was a 
really good level of respect for each oth- 
er. Гуе been supportive of her with her 
job and she's supportive of me with my 
job. They don't cross or collide. She's a 
really smart woman. 
PLAYBOY: Do you prefer to be with some- 
body who's not in the movie business? 
EASTWOOD: You said it. There's no agen. 
da, no work thing. If I introduce her to 
friends who are producers, there's no 
work in that for her. They're just friends. 
And she's here, she loves it here. I love it 
here. It's very nice. 
PLAYBOY: What kind of women have ap- 
pealed to you? 
EASTWOOD: I've liked women who were 
smart and OK-looking, and I've liked 
women who were good-looking and not 
too smart. I'm no different from any oth- 
er guy. It's a cliché that an extremely at- 
е woman has to be a bimbo with a 
brain the size of a peanut. That's wrong. 
Just because a woman is attractive 


doesn't mean she isn't smart. But I think 
what a man wants from a woman is pret- 
ty much what a woman wants from a 
man. Respect. That's the ultimate to me. 
Sure there's infatuation. But a person 
has to respect herself and has to respect. 
you and what you do, and you have to 
respect each other. If one or the other 
doesn't, it becomes problematic. 
PLAYBOY: What role does your family play 
in your life? 

EASTWOOD: | like them very much. It 
seems their existence keeps me young. If 
you have a two-year-old around the 
house, it keeps you thinking, keeps you 
young, watching the learning process. 
My older kids are all off in different di- 
rections, but I try to see them as much as 
I can. I'm seeing my daughter Alison in 
L.A. tonight. I see the older ones on hol- 
idays and on certain occasions when they 
want something. [Laughs] 

PLAYBOY: How do you feel about having a 
three-year-old and a brand-new daughter? 
EASTWOOD: It's so much easier when 
you're in your 60s. When you're young, 
life is selfish, everything is selfish. You're 
talking about your next job, what's going 
to happen to your career and, when you 
get a break, especially in the acting pro- 
fession, how long it's going to last. Every 
actor thinks his last job was his last job. It 
takes years before that syndrome sub- 
sides. And I don't have that. It's a great 
thing. I'm not compelled to work like 1 
did when I was younger. Check it out 
with older men who have kids. They 
have more time, and more patience. Of 
course, you also get to a certain age and 
you go, “OK, this is going to be nice, but 
here's the reality of it: They're going to 
be here forever, you'll be asked for 
things forever, you'll feel sometimes like 
it's a one-way street." 

PLAYBOY: Having been mayor of Carmel, 
have you ever been asked to run for gov- 
ernor or senator? 

EASTWOOD: There was a lot of talk like 
that, but only because Reagan was presi- 
dentat the üme and everybody thought, 
Well, here's another movie actor who is 
going 10 try to do something political. 
But I didn't want to do that. George 
Murphy and Reagan and all those guys 
quit acting when they went into politics. 
PLAYBOY: Why didn't politics appeal to 
you as a way of life? 

EASTWOOD: lt's a lot of work and a lot of 
frustration, and being a politician is 
about the last thing I'd want to do. I like 
independence. I revere independence. 
And I'm not that good a politician. I get 
along with people, but to sit there and 
fudge the truth and promise to do some- 
thing and know you're not going to do 
it—that’s not what 1 want to do. 
PLAYBOY: Are there issues you feel strong- 
ly about? 

EASTWOOD: I don't think there should be 
two four-ycar terms for the president. I 


think someone should be president for 
one six-ycar term with no chance to run 
again. I feel that only two years of a four- 
year term are put to good use. The rest 
is running for the next four years, and 
that's very expensive and counterpro- 
ductive. I think term limitations would 
be great. I know a lot of congressmen 
and senators hate to hear that, but I 
think it's good to have new blood. I quit 
after one term as mayor because I want- 
ed new blood to come in. When people 
get in term after term, they forget the 
meaning of public servant. Then bad 
things start happening. 

PLAYBOY: How would you characterize 
yourself politically? 

EASTWOOD: [trie Tveryone leaves 
everyone else alone. Neither party seems 
to have the ability to embrace that sort 
of thing. 

PLAYBOY: Are you pro-choice? 

EASTWOOD: I've always been pro-choice. 
It’s an individual decision. 1 don't be- 
lieve organizations should start taking. 
over the decision-making process for the 
individual. Absolute power corrupts. 
PLAYBOY: Let's talk about another issue. 
During the Sixties and Seventies, did 
you see a lot of drugs and craziness 
in Hollywood? 

EASTWOOD: I had friends who died using 
drugs, and Гус had a lot of friends who 
had problems along the way. I had a par- 
ticularly close friend who became redu- 
sivc and finally gave up. It was very sad. 
PLAYBOY: Did you ever take drugs? 
EASTWOOD: No, never did. I'm not much 
of a drinker, either. A glass of wine, a 
beer, a shot of Patrón tequila —that's a 
treat every now and then. I have a bud- 
dy who says, "Anything better than a 
good glass of beer and a piece of ass 
would kill me.” [Laughs]. Maybe there's 
something to that. | mean, how good do 
you want life to be? I've always liked life, 
anyway. People who get into drugs are 
trying to escape themselves. I’ve never 
wanted to escape. 

PLAYBOY: Let's talk a bit about your child- 
hood. What was your mother like? 
EASTWOOD: I say this without prejudice: 
She's an extremely giving lady and she 
was always very flexible, very supportive, 
when I was growing up. I was always 
taught to be respectful of her. My father 
was big on basic courtesies toward wom- 
en. The one time | ever got snotty with 
my mother when he was around, he left 
me a little battered. [Grins] Yeah, he 
taught me little things—like I should 
leave the toilet seat down out of respect 
for my mother. I was lucky. I was taught 
values. I was raised in a good family. 
PLAYBOY: You grew up during the De- 
pression, What impact did that have 
on you? 

EASTWOOD: Tremendous impact, tre- 
mendous. So many people were unem- 
ployed and struggling, and there was no 


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PLAYBOY 


welfare state. People were dying to work, 
really wanted to work in any kind of job. 
Nowadays it's different. A friend of mine 
stopped a guy who was carrying a NEED 
WORK sign on the road and asked him if 
he wanted a job. The guy asked how 
much he'd be paid, and my friend said 
$6.80 an hour. The guy said, "Can't do 
it, not enough." That wouldn't have hap- 
pened then. 

PLAYBOY: Did growing up worrying about 
money affect you? 

EASTWOOD: It made me sort of fiscal- 
ly conservative. When you have some 
dough, you should put it away for a 
rainy day, and you should try to manage 
your money. The first movie actor I met 
was Cornel Wilde. We were at a party, 
and he asked, "What are you doing?" 
And I said, "Well, I'm trying to be an ac- 
tor, studying to be an actor." I was a kid 
at the time, in my early 20s. And he said, 
"Save your money.” I said, "I don't have 
any.” But he said, “If you ever get any 
money, make sure you save it so you 
don't have to do all the crap people are 
going to ask you to do someday." I've al- 
ways remembered that. 

PLAYBOY: You struggled for some time as 
a bit player at Universal, then got 
Rawhide. Then you went off to Italy to 
make the spaghetti Westerns. Did it up- 
set you that people years later maybe 
even now—still saw you essentially as a 
Western star? 

EASTWOOD: It didn't upser me. 1 knew 
that I was different, I knew I wasn't a 
cowboy. But if you portray a cowboy and 
people think you're a cowboy, that's fine. 
That's what every actor strives for. If 
you're playing a fireman and they be- 
lieve you're a guy who's with the fire de- 
partment, that's fantastic. People are al- 
ways trying to typecast you. I guess I 
came in in kind of an oddball way too, 
going off to Italy like that to do those 


low-budget Westerns. When the movies 
came out, they were actually more 
revered—at least for that time—than 
American-made Westerns. But some 
people wondered, What the hell kind of 
crap is this? What are they doing to our 
Western movie? As for being a Western 
actor, years ago I was asked if I was 
afraid of being typed when I started 
Rawhide. 1 had been unemployed for a 
long time, 1 had been struggling as an 
actor, and I said, "Are you kidding? Just. 
get me the job and I'll worry about get- 
ting untyped later." But in reality every- 
one is typed for something. 

PLAYBOY: You're one of only a handful of 
people who have had extraordinary 
longevity as stars for you, 40 years. 
What's the secret? Good looks? 
EASTWOOD: Not at this age 

PLAYBOY: Is it the roles you choose? 
EASTWOOD: When I first came on, maybe 
30 years ago, I was a sort of an upstart 
out of television who was doing these 
Italian-made Westerns. But after the 
third one, after The Good, the Bad, and the 
Ugly, it was time to come back here. And 
instead of doing a picture more grand in 
scale, I did a smaller picture, Hang ‘Em 
High, which was about capital punish- 
ment. Then I did medium-sized pictures 
throughout the Sixtics. And several ex- 
pensive films, such as Where Eagles Dare 
and Paint Your Wagon with varying suc- 
cess. I started to branch out in the Sev- 
enties with The Reguiled, trying offbeat 
things. The next two, Play Misty and Dirty 
Harry, were commercial, and then in the 
Eighties I did Bronco Billy and Honkytonk 
Man. I was always reaching out for 
something different. And even Every 
Which Way but Loose, which is a comedy 
with an orangutan and the sort of stuff 
people don't necessarily take seriously in 
cinema, was a reach. I was moving away 
from gunplay and that kind of stuff, and 


Cruel 


“You're right, he's not expecting you, but let me just 
say I have been.” 


I think those reaches throughout my ca- 
reer have gotten me some attention. 
They've kept me interested. I think it's 
easy for a person to fall into complacen- 
су and say, "1 could have stayed in Italy 
and done 95 Westerns instead of three." 
I could have come back here and done 
a whole mess of cop dramas, but that 
would have been boring for the public 
and boring for me. If you're not going to 
look interested, there's no reason to ex- 
pect the audience to be interested. 
PLAYBOY: In terms of casting women, you 
rarely seemed to go after conventional 
beauties: Geraldine Page in The Beguiled, 
Jessica Walter in Play Misty for Me, Kay 
Lenz in Breezy, Bernadette Peters in 
Pink Cadillac. 

EASTWOOD: If you get too conventional 
with glamour girls, all of a sudden it be- 
comes a Hollywood picture rather than a 
picture that relates 10 anything realistic. 
There are beautiful girls who are not 
models or actresses, but they seem like 
Barbics. It can kill a movie if you glam 
things up. 

PLAYBOY: You often make the commute 
from Carmel to Los Angeles by piloting 
your own helicopter. When did you 
start flying? 

EASTWOOD: | was introduced to heli- 
copters in 1968 or 1969. I was on the ser 
of Paint Your Wagon, in Baker, Oregon, 
and the pilot used to pick me up in the 
front yard of the home I was renting and 
we'd fly a half hour to work. He gave me 
a chance to fly a little. I liked it. Final- 
ly about eight years ago I got a license 
and bought a helicopter at the Paris 
Air Show. 

PLAYBOY: What makes fying a helicopter 
special? 

EASTWOOD: There's great freedom to it. 
Its sort of the last seat-of-your-pants 
flying. You can actually go places and 
land places and not be obliged to have 
an airport. It's nice to be able to land ata 
friend’s house. And when you're flying 
you're out on your own, there are no 
phones, you just kind of relax and think. 
You're just a number in the sky. It's nice 
up there. 

PLAYBOY: Let’s talk about music. We 
heard you playing piano the other day 
and you play very well. 

EASTWOOD: | used to listen to a lot of 
rhythm and blues on the radio. When I 
was growing up in northern California 
there was a big classic-jazz revival in the 
Bay Area. I would lie about my age and 
go to Hambone Kelly's. I'd stand in the 
back and listen to Lu Watters and Turk 
Murphy play New Orleans jazz. I used 
to think 1 was really a black guy in a 
white body. 

PLAYBOY. Who were your favorites? 
EASTWOOD: І grew up listening to Ella 
Fitzgerald and Nat King Cole. Big fa- 
vorites. I still listen. I was raised on 
Lester Young, Charlie Parker, Dizzy Gil- 
lespie, Miles Davis, Clifford Brown, Fats 


Navarro, all that crowd, and Thelonious 
Monk, Erroll Garner. 

PLAYBOY: Bird was an unexpected film 
for you. 

EASTWOOD: It was unexpected because it 
was out of the genre. People think, If 
he's not going to be in the picture, he 
should make a film about something he 
understands or has done before. But I 
like music, I love music. Doing a story 
about a musician was very logical for me. 
And it came as a shock only to someone 
who didn't know I was interested. But 
those are all swings at bat. You don't al- 
ways get the home run. Sometimes a 
game can be put together with base hits. 
That's what happened with Bird. 
PLAYBOY: Why did you want to make a 
movie about Charlie 


placing an emphasis on ensemble work 
over individuality. 

EASTWOOD: Jazz has always represented a 
sort of freedom of expression for me. 
Buta musician has an advantage over an 
actor. He holds the saxophone or trum- 
pet and channels into it. We just have to 
stand there and deliver whatever there 
is. Being behind the camera is certainly a 
safer feeling than acting in front of it. 
PLAYBOY: You still tend to play heroes. 
Could you play a salesman or a dry 
cleaner or an average guy? 

EASTWOOD: I doubt it. Let's say I wanted 
to play a remake of Dr. Kildare or some- 
one like that. Old Dr. Kildare, middle- 
aged doctor, whatever. Eventually, when. 
the last reel comes up, no matter how 


terested me a while back. The Killing 
Fields. You remember the one, where the 
guy isa New York journalist who goes in- 
to Cambodia. I liked the script a lot and 
thought it would make a good movie. 
But I thought, If you cast Clint East- 
wood in a film called The Killing Fields, 
you know damn well that that's going to 
send a message to a lot of people who 
want to see Clint Eastwood gun down 
30 people every recl. And they're going 
to be terribly disappointed. You're going 
to get that crowd and that crowd only. 
PLAYBOY: In the Dirty Harry films you 
mete out justice to murderers. You take 
the law in your own hands, mirroring 
the discontent in a country that was por- 
trayed as being run by bleeding hearts. 
Pauline Kael said it 


Parker? 

EASTWOOD: 1 had seen 
him when I was a kid. 
I liked him very much. 
I thought he was one 
of the most confident 
players I'd ever seen. 
It was a whole new era 
of music—this is when 
New York bop was 
coming out. I saw him 
in Oakland, Califor- 
nia. He was on tour 
with Lester Young, 
Coleman Hawkins and 
Hank Jones. It was an 
interesting era for me. 
At that time I was 16 
years old in the For- 
ties and it just kind of 
knocked me out. And 
1 didn't know about 
Charlie Parker. I just 
knew his name. But 
he came out and start- 
ed playing. In those 
days, musicians didn’t 
wear fancy outfits like 
today. Everybody just 
wore a suit and tie, 
everybody. They just 
played. And you lis- 
tened. The excitement 
came out of what they 


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was fascist. 
EASTWOOD: People 
can call things what 
they want. In those 
days everybody want- 
ed to put a label on 
things. The picture 
was ahead of its time. 
This is a guy who's 
having bureaucratic 
obstacles thrown up. 
within the police 
force, judicial system, 
city politics and all 
that. Everybody un- 
derstood that frus- 
tration. If there was 
irresponsibility in 
Dirty Harry, there's 
irresponsibility in 
Robin Hood, Tom 
Mix and the Old Tes- 
tament. There's vio- 
lence in them all. 
PLAYBOY: Is that why 
you think that pic- 


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victim, which wasn’t 
stylish at the time. 

PLAYBOY: What did 
you think when you 
7 first read "Go ahead, 


© 1997 CMI 


played. Parker got up 
there and started playing, and I said, “1 
dont know what this is, but I want to 
find out about it.” He opened up a whole 
new world. I'd never seen an artist that 
confident about what he was doing, so 
completely in control. He was brilliant 
and innovative. Yet there was great emo- 
tion and sensitivity. I bought a lot of his 
records over the years. When that script 
became available, I decided it was a story 
1 would like to tell. 

PLAYBOY: You've written the main themes 
for Bridges of Madison County and other 
films. Lennie Niehaus, the composer 
who scores a lot of your pictures, said 
you actually think like a jazz musician 
while directing films, preferring impro- 
visation over constant rehearsal and 


nice the story is, many people in the au- 
dience will expect old Dr. Kildare to 
shoot somebody. Fortunately, a lot of re- 
viewers have called attention to the fact 
that I fought my way out of a certain 
genre, and that's been nice. But still 
there's a group out there saying: “East- 
wood as Dr. Kildare? Let's pass on this 
one and catch the next one." I entered 
some projects, such as White Hunter, 
Black Heart, knowing they would proba- 
bly not be hard-core commercial films. 
But I had to make them anyway. 

PLAYBOY: Any parts you wish you'd had? 
EASTWOOD: There are some you turn 
down because you don't feel instinctively 
right about the material, or maybe you 
think you aren't the right guy. One in- 


make my day"? 
EASTWOOD: 1 thought, Yeah, this is def- 
initely the key line of the movie. 
PLAYBOY: Other stars, including Mel Gib- 
son and Jack Nicholson, have come to 
you for advice before directing a film. 
What did you tell them? 

EASTWOOD: Get more sleep than your 
actors. 

PLAYBOY: You were once asked if you ever 
woke up in the morning, looked in the 
mirror and said, "Can this possibly be 
me?" Your reply was, "It's like waking 
up with a hooker—how the hell did I 
get here?" 

EASTWOOD: Actually, it's like waking up 
with an ugly hooker. 


165 


PLAYBOY 


Charge It 


(continued from page 89) 
vehicles, the manufacturers stalled. It 
took stringent new laws, first passed in 
California and then in several New Eng- 
land states, to create incentive. Automo- 
bile manufacturers were told that to sell 
cars in California in the year 2003, they 
would have to guarantee that ten per- 
cent would be zero-emissions vehicles. 
That got the companies’ attention, and 
soon they were developing concepts and 
jointly working on improved battery 
technology. 

By introducing the first electric ZEVs 
on the market, Gencral Motors is taking 
a bold step, for there's no infrastructure 
to support this type of vehide and no 
guarantee that the public will either buy 
or lease electric cars. Despire the rela- 
tively high lease cost that limits its cus- 
tomer base to elite buyers, GM has its 
reasons for leasing the vehicles: It allows. 
the company to control how they're 
used, to react quickly to any problems 
that might develop and to warranty all 
EVI parts, including the batteries. 
Whether or not leased cars will be avail- 
able for purchase after the lease expires 
has yet to be determined. Depending on 
sales, GM hopes that electric utility com- 
panies will introduce on-the-road qui 
stop stations that would allow electric- 
car drivers to recharge their batteries. 


fully in 15 minutes or less. 

Not surprisingly, other companies are 
rushing to get on the electric bandwag- 
on. Ford and Chrysler are testing natu- 
ral gas and electric versions of some of 
their current models. "Toyota sells an 
electrically powered RAV4 minisport 
utility in Japan, which the company is 
bringing to America next fall, and Hon- 
da plans to lease 300 two-door, four- 
seater electric cars in Sacramento and 
southern California. 

But Americans like driving long dis- 
tances, and, for that, electric cars aren't 
the answer. Chrysler, for example, has 
just unveiled a show car powered by a 
compact fuel cell that converts gasoline 
10 hydrogen, which then powers an elec- 
tric motor. This propulsion package fits 
into a normal-size car and promises ap- 
proximately 80 miles per gallon and a 
range of about 500 miles. Toyota and 
Mercedes-Benz are also experimenting 
with fuel-cell technology. And Chrysler, 
Ford and GM are jointly studying vari- 
ous hybrid solutions (such as a vehicle 
that has an electric motor for city use 
and a diesel engine for the highway). 

As we turn the corner into the next 
century, one thing is certain. The cars of 
tomorrow will be vastly different from 
anything on the road today—except, 
perhaps, the EVI. 


(continued from page 124) 
was, in fact, a crude novice. He was slow, 
and he had no defense, no chin, no ver- 
satility—he had no skill. His record had 
been fattened with a pathetic string of 
stiffs, misfits, retirees, bouncers, guys in 
drug programs, Hell's Angels, guys 
blind in one eye and 12 opponents who 
had lost all their previous fights. 

And even this padded record is worse 
than it sounds. McNeeley twice beat J.B. 
Williamson, who had a 26-13 record the 
first time, and 26-14 the second time. So 
Williamson, who was close to 40 years 
old, accounted for more than one eighth 
of all the wins by McNeeley's feeble foes. 

Here are some of the lowlights that 
built McNecley into a “white hopc" with 
a 36-1 record: 

McNeeley turned pro in August 1991 
by knocking out Van Dorsey, who was 
0-2. In June 1992 he knocked out Jim 
Harrison, whose record was 6-28-4; he 
knocked him out again in September. 
That month he knocked out Dorsey 
again. By then the hapless Dorsey was 
0-5 and had been knocked out 
four times. 

In June 1992 McNeeley knocked out 
John Jackson, who was 0-4 at the time. 
In March 1993, he had a rematch with 
Jackson. In the interim Jackson had lost 
six more times without a win. 

In Sepiember 1993 MeNeeley won а 
decision over Juan Quintana, who had 
lost 28 times and won only six fights. 

In February 1994 McNeeley was 
stopped in eight rounds by Stanley 
Wright, who had an 8-5 record. But 
Wright, poor and black, remains an un- 
known. He was never considered by 
King for a televised fight, and certainly 
not one against Tyson. 

When I contacted Wright by phone, 
he recalled: *McNeeley couldn't fight 
much. The main thing I remember 
about him is that he spit on me in the. 
third and sixth rounds. It was the gross- 
est thing 1 ever had done to me. Right in 
my face!” 

By February 1995 McNeeley was ris- 
ing like hot air in the monthly ratings. 
King put him in with Joe Barnes, which 
was not exactly a high-risk fight. Barnes 
had never won a bout in his entire pro- 
fessional career. He was 0-6, fighting 
a "contender." 

McNeeley knocked out Barnes in the 
first round. 

In April 1995 King matched McNee- 
ley with the legendary Frankie Hines— 
who was a legend for losing. He had 
been knocked out 45 times during his 
years in the ring. His career record was 
67 losses and 14 wins. 

McNeeley fattened him in the first 
round, in a record six seconds. 

So when the Tyson match was an- 
nounced in May, McNecley was rated 
among the top ten heavyweights in the 


world by all three rating organizations— 
the World Boxing Council, the World 
Boxing Association and the Internation- 
al Boxing Federation. 


The Tyson-McNeeley bout was an im- 
pressive triumph of hype, marketing 
and convenient matchmaking. McNee- 
ley was actually about the 100th best 
heavyweight in the world, but here he 
was making millions of dollars for Don 
King while posing absolutely no threat 
to Mike Tyson. 

The fight was, of course, a joke. Mc- 
Neeley went down from the first punch 
and then was disqualified at 89 seconds 
because his manager jumped into the 
ring to save his life and put an end to the 
fiasco. Tyson landed a total of three 
punches, McNeeley none. 

Gamblers who bet that the national 
anthem would last longer than the fight 
won a lot of money— Johnny Gill's ver- 
sion of The Star-Spangled Banner lasted a 
full minute longer than the so-called 
match. 

"The next morning, a headline on the 
back page of the Boston Herald —McNee- 
ley's hometown paper—screamed the 
truth: WHAT A RIP-OFF. FANS PAY PRICE IN 
MCNEELEY SHAM. 

A few days before the fight it was dis- 
covered, and reported, that McNeeley 
had to pay $100,000 of his reported 
$700,000 purse as а “finder’s fee" Lo Al 
Braverman, King's director of boxing. 

After the fight, defending himself 
against a nation of angry fans, King ac- 
tually told the truth at a press confer- 
ence. He no longer was selling McNee- 
ley’s “killer punch” or his “great Irish 
heart." He admitted: 

*No one expected Peter McNeeley to 
win a fight with Mike Tyson. You 
couldn't sell it as the most credible fight 
in the world, because it wasn't supposed. 
to be. It was a SERT an event. It 
was not meant to be a championship 
fight." 

A year later, when he spoke at Har- 
vard Law School, King offered anoth- 
er rationale when a student asked him 
about the farcical fight. 

“Peter McNeeley was the best one- 
round fight Mike's ever had," King 
gushed. 

McNeeley himself sank back to his nat- 
ural level after his short ride on the 
Great American Hype Machine came to 
an end. Last year he was knocked out by 
Louis Monaco in five rounds in Denver. 
"The fight was not on television and was 
not reported in most newspapers. It was 
Monaco's eighth fight. 

To show just how bad McNeeley really 
is, Monaco lost his next fight to 43-year- 
old Trevor Berbick in Westbury, New 
York in September 1996. 

Showtime announced that 1.4 million 
homes paid up to $60 to see the Tyson- 
McNeeley 89-second scam. The gross 


revenue was $63 million. It is estimat- 
ed that King made a profit of about 
$15 million on the promotion. 

With McNeeley, King had taken scrap 
and sold it as silver. He marketed the 
mismatch as a racial drama. He made a 
financial killing with a consumer fraud, 
once again picking fans’ pockets and giv- 
ing boxing a black eye. 

. 


If Peter McNeeley's rise and fall illus- 
trate King's marketing genius, the ca- 
reer of heavyweight Frans Botha shows 
King's genius for manipulation—again 
at the expense of disappointed fans and 
the concept of a fair, clean, competitive 
sport. 

Critics who underestimated King 
thought his monopoly over the heavy- 
weight title was doomed when Tyson 
went to prison in 1992. But King, by 
then past 60, just worked harder to be a 
player until Tyson got out. 

To do this he sought out and signed 
up some of the worst heavyweights 
around and promoted some forgettable 
and artless waltzes: Tony Tucker versus 
Oliver McCall, McCall versus Francisco 
Damiani, and Bruce Seldon versus Joe 
Hipp. 

King signed Lionel Butler, who was an 
admitted drug addict. He signed Tucker, 
who had flunked a drug test. He signed 
McCall, who had been in drug rehab. 
Aud lic signed white Soutli African Bu- 
tha, whom he billed as "the white buffa- 
lo." King's strategy was to monopolize 
mediocrity, to manipulate the ratings so 
that these journeymen became champi- 
ons by the time Tyson was paroled 

Though he had nothing to work with, 
King made his strategy a success. Seldon 
became the WBA champion. McCall be- 
came the WBC champion, followed by 
Frank Bruno. And in 1995 King per- 
suaded the IBF to strip George Foreman 
ofits version of the heavyweight champi- 
onship and declare it vacant. 

The IBF’s president, Robert Lee, had 
once been a severe critic of King, but 
they had reconciled and become collabo- 
rators. By 1995 King had signed Botha 
to a long-term exclusive contract. His 
idea was to make Botha the IBF champi- 
on, so that he would have three turkeys 
called “champions” as placeholders for 
‘Tyson. 

It was a farsighted plan, and another 
reason why HBO's boxing boss, Lou Di- 
Bella, calls King—admiringly and to his 
face—" Blackiavelli." 

With the IBF title dedared vacant, 
boxing writers and managers were 
aghast in April 1995 when Botha was 
suddenly jumped over all other boxers 
and rated the number one heavyweight 
contender, ensuring that he would fight. 
number two contender Axel Schulz for 
the IBF crown. Botha had never beaten 
another fighter in the top 30, normally a 
requirement to enter the top ten, much 


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less be ranked number one, a rating with 
vast cconomic valuc. 

King had somehow persuaded Lee to 
rate the minimally skilled Botha ahead 
of much more talented fighters, includ- 
ing people such as Riddick Bowe, An- 
drew Golota, Tim Witherspoon, Ray 
Mercer, Evander Holyfield, Lennox 
Lewis and Michael Moorer. None of 
these seven fighters had a promotional 
contract with King. 

Patrick English, a lawyer for Main 
Events, a rival promotional company, 
then filed a lawsuit against the IBF on 
Moorer's behalf. The following month 
the IBF responded by dropping Moorer 
from the ratings, giving “pending litiga- 
tion” as the excuse. 

When reporters asked Lee why Moor- 
er, a former IBF champion, had been 
rated below Botha, Lee had a simple an- 
swer. He said the reason was “Moorer's 
inactivity.” 

But Moorer had returned to activity 
soon after losing his title to Foreman. He 
had beaten Melvin Foster in May 1995, 
only six months after the Foreman loss. 
During the same period Botha had 
looked awful, barely winning an eight- 
round decision over an unknown boxer 
named Willie Jake. 

Moorer's suit, filed in federal court in 
New Jersey, did not mince words. It 
claimed Robert Lee had “solicited bribes 
and/or extorted monies” to rig the 
heavyweight ratings for Buha and 
against Moorer. 

Moorer's complaint alleged: "Acting 
unilaterally, Robert Lee jumped Botha 
over Michael Moorer in the rankings in 
conformance with the plan of Don 
King Lee was completely unaware 
that King had, in fact, disclosed his plan 
and his control over Lee." 

The lawsuit was dropped when Lee 
agreed that Moorer would get a title 
fight against the winner of a December 
1995 contest between Botha and Schulz. 

While everyone was waiting for the 
decision to be announced after that 
match, Showtime's microphones picked 
up King, in the ring, telling Botha in 
plain English not to worry because "you 
won the fight” 

A moment later the official verdict 
confirmed that Botha had indeed won, 
though most ringside reporters thought 
Schulz deserved the decision. Joe Ger- 
gen, sports columnist for New York Neus- 
day, wrote: 

“Botha has done little to date to prove 
he has anything but rudimentary boxing 
tools. His decision over Axel Schulz . . . 
raised serious questions about his ability. 
Many attribute his victory to the fact he 
is promoted by King, whose rule over 
the heavyweight division is complete." 

Three weeks after the fight, Botha's 
urine test results came back from the 
lab—he had tested positive for steroids. 
IBF rules state quite unequivocally that 
any positive drug test requires the dis- 


qualification of the boxer who took a 
banned substance. 

At first Lee claimed there were “miti- 
gating circumstances" and that Botha 
would keep the IBF title despite the 
rules. But a federal judge in New Jersey 
disqualified Botha and opened up the 
fight between Schulz and Moorer for the 
revacated crown. 

Moorer won that match in June 1996. 
But that same night, in Moorer's dress- 
ing room, Lee told Moorer's manager, 
John Davimos, that they had to give 
Botha the first chance at the title and 
that Botha was to get 50 percent of the 
money—which is highly unusual. Lee, 
who is supposed to be an independent 
regulator, not a matchmaker, also told 
Davimos that King would give Moorer a 
big-moncy match with Tyson if he beat 
Botha. 

In November 1996 Moorer knocked 
out Botha, suggesting that the IBF's rat- 
ing of Botha above Moorer was indeed 
misleading. 

. 


In the autumn of 1995 Don King was 
on trial in New York for an insurance 
fraud of $350,000 against Lloyd's of 
London. 

In the climax of the trial King took the 
stand in his own defense. Anyone who 
attended his 1985 trial for tax fraud 
knew what he was going to do. He was 
going to act dumb and blame it all on his 
subordinates. 

That's how he won an acquittal in 
1985. Connie Harper, his co-defendant, 
his faithful employee for many years, 
took the rap. He had even registered her 
as the manager of onc of his fighters, Es- 
taban de Jesus. 

At the trial, King's loyal servant be- 
came the fall woman. She was convicted 
and sentenced to four months in prison 
while King swaggered out of the court- 
house and roared, "America is a great 
country! Only in Amcrica!" King's 
lawyer, Vince Fuller, had convinced the 
jury that the employees in King's Man- 
hat office had handled all of the in- 
criminating financial transactions with- 
out King's knowledge. 

When King took the witness stand at 
his 1995 trial, the evidence against him 
seemed strong but circumstantial. His 
former accountant, Joe Maffia, swore the 
$350,000 claim was contrived and that 
King had told him to pad expenses to 
rcach it. 

Boxing champion Julio César Chavez 
had also testified against King, telling 
the jury that King had not kept his word, 
kept him on a string with loans and had 
even billed him for 55-cent and 81-cent 
phone calls. 

But when cross-examined by prosecu- 
tor Paul Gardephe, King acted as if he 
had amnesia, During his first full day on 
the stand, King said “I don't recall" 
more than 20 times about events that 


had taken place during the previous five 
years. 

Even when his memory was refreshed 
by evidence, King kept saying he could 
not remember, that his deputies handled 
all ıhe details, that he never read docu- 
ments that had been sent to him and 
bore his initials and signature. 

Yet King paid enough attention to de- 
tail to charge Chavez for a 55-cent phone 
call. He had demanded that Mark Jacob- 
son return his umbrella two years after 
he borrowed it. But under oath he 
played an Alzheimer's casualty. 

The key document in the complex 
financial case was a forged rider to a con- 
tract that made training expenses for a 
canceled Chavez fight nonrefundable. 

The government established that this 
contract was faxed to and signed by King 
in Las Vegas on October 10, 1991. But 
when the government subpoenaed 
King’s fax logs, 31 consecutive days were 
missing, including those for October 10. 

King was in Vegas on that date. But he 
told the jury he couldn't remember any- 
thing, that his disloyal employees in New 
York must have done something fishy. 

King was walking a tightrope, admit- 
ting a few embarrassing facts but sticking 
to his basic story that he was a busy 
man—traveling the world, babysitting 
‘Tyson, making deals—and too distracted 
to pay attention to every little detail. 
That's why he hires accountants. 


“Is it your practice to insist on sign- 
ing checks even if they were for only 
five cents?" prosecutor Gardephe asked 
King at one point 

“Yes,” King replied. 

“Yet you were content to let your 
bookkeeper make a decision to spend 
nearly $80,000?” Gardephe asked. 

“Yes,” King answered. 

King also admitted that it was compa- 
ny policy that he sign every check and 
control every wire transfer, and that he 
owned 100 percent of the stock of Don 
King Productions. 

King even conceded that he backdat- 
ed one check to Chavez and postdated 
another, but he insisted it was unfair to 
draw any negative inference about his 
motives for such machinations. 

But the government held no smoking 
gun, no videotape of King reading or 
signing the bogus contract, no witness 
who typed the contract. 

After only five hours of deliberation, 
the jury sent the judge a note saying it 
was “irretrievably deadlocked” and the 
judge declared a mistrial. Afterward sev- 
eral jurors told me they were split six 
against six. King faces a retrial on these 
same fraud charges sometime this year. 


On November 9, 1996 Don King's 
biggest source of revenue, Mike Tyson, 
was knocked out by Evander Holyfield 


in an event that surprised the boxing 
universe and shook up the cable TV and 
casino industries. Holyfield, the scrip- 
ture-quoting gentleman, destroyed the 
trash-talking Tyson and silenced Tyson's 
thug-nation entourage. 

But King’s monopolistic power was 
not dented by this epic upset. In order to 
get the fight with Tyson, Holyfield had to 
sign a contract giving King options on 
his future fights if he won, and sign pa- 
pers giving Tyson a rematch in case 
Tyson lost. 

On the same boxing card, Michael 
Moorer retained the IBF version of the 
heavyweight title and also had to sign 
away some of his future fights to Don 
King. 

_Evander Holyfield privately despises 
. King has called him a tool of 
ites. King tried to get Holyfield to be- 
tray his Italian promoters, the Duva 
family, but failed because Holyfield is a 
class human being. 

Holyfield is now trapped in the tenta- 
cles of the King Octopus, just as Buster 
Douglas was trapped after he knocked 
out Tyson. Douglas also had to sign the 
same options to get the opportunity to 
fight Tyson. 

“Tyson lost to Holyfield because his 
years in the grasp of the octopus eroded 
both his skills and his character. King 
forced Tyson to fire his trainer, Kevin 
Rooney. And once that happened, Tyson 


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drified away from the style that made 
him seem invincible at 22. He stopped 
moving his head. He stopped jabbing. 
He stopped punching in combinations. 
He stopped training as hard. 

And he had no one around him to tell 
him the truth. He became a captive in a 
cult of retainers who told him only what 
he wanted to hear. 

"Tyson lost to Holyfield, but Don King 
never loses because he always controls 
both fighters. He has done this ever 
since 1973, when he walked to the ring 
with Joe Frazier and left with George 
Foreman, the new champion. 


Boxing's failings are systemic and his- 
toric. If Don King dropped dead tomor- 
row, the sport would still be a sewer for 
suckers. 

King is a great symbol, the vulture on 
the ring post. But he did not invent the 
sport that resembles 18th century piracy. 
It is important to remember that gang- 
sters managed Primo Carnera and Son- 
ny Liston long before King entered the 
boxing scene. 

Boxing is the only major sport without 
a national commissioner to set stan- 
dards, the only sport without unions, 
pensions or health plans for its athletes. 
Boxing regulation is a joke. Boxing rat- 
ings are corrupt and have no credibility 
with knowledgeable fans. 

King had nothing to do with the riot at 
Madison Square Garden last July after 
the Bowe-Golota match. He did not pro- 
mote or referee the mismatch last year in 
Las Vegas in which Jimmy Carcia died 

King does not need to be demonized 
or scapegoated to be placed at his ap- 
propriate level in the chain of human 
exploitation. 

King manipulates fighters out of their 
just earnings. He cheats fans by putting 
garbage fights on pay-per-view. He us- 
es racism and the crudest emotions of 
wrestling to market his fights. 

King has no personal loyalty to his 
fighters because his method is monop- 
oly, and under a monopoly all box- 
ers are fungible—including Dokes, his 
"son." As King suggested at Harvard, 
money is his god 

King uses long-term option contracts 
to impose servitude on boxers who are 
told they can't have their own lawyers 
and accountants. King's methods do not 
allow boxers to be free agents and sell 
their services to the highest bidder. 

Don King has often called himself “the 
greatest promoter in human history." 
This is not an unreasonable statement in 
the sense that King has always been the 
real product he promotes. 

The point of King's career may be the 
same one made by the film The Usual 
Suspects: Someumes the bad guys are just 
smarter than the good guys. 


In November, at the Motown Cafe in 
New York City, more than a dozen 
Playmates celebrated Operation Play- 
mate. The fund-raiser was held to 
support the Vietnam Veterans of 
America and the Veterans Leadership. 
Program. Call it a 13-goddess salute. 


P" 
A 
h 


PLAYMATE SNEWS 


for leading the way on social issues. 
Former mayor Ed Koch called for 
greater action on Gulf war syndrome. 

It was a rousing beginning to na- 
tionwide goodwill appearances by 
Operation Playmate, a program of 
support for servicemen that General 
H. Norman Schwarzkopf praised 
during Desert Storm as "a major 
morale boost.” The Playmates will vis- 
it various vet- 
crans’ hospi- 
tals. If you 
would like to 


Former New York mayor Ed Koch is flanked by Ploymatos (left to right) Donna Edmondson, Korin 


Toylor, Stacy Sonches, DeDe Lind ond Helena Antonoccio at our gala That's Jo Collins, inset 


An enthusiastic crowd of vets and up- 
town executives saved their biggest 
cheers for, among others, Helena An- 
tonaccio, Cindy Fuller-Martino, 
DeDe Lind, Danelle Folta, Stacy San- 
ches, Bebe Buell and Jo Collins. 

In 1966 Collins piloted the first 
Operation Playmate in Vietnam. Her 
visit to combat areas and field hospi- 
tals (later immortalized in the film. 
Apocalypse Now) was initiated when 
troops of the 173rd Airborne Brigade 
ordered a lifetime subscription to 
PLAYBOY. At the time, a lifetime sub- 
scription induded delivery by a Play- 
mate. Collins recalled that the wel- 
come she received “touched my heart 
and everyone else's on the trip.” Cap- 
tain Jack Price of the 173rd told her 
that while many Nam vets came home 
with heavy baggage, for his guys “the 
baggage was lighter." Paul Bucha, 
head of the Congressional Medal of 
Honor Society, applauded PLAYBOY 


JUNE COCHRAN: 
"When | posed | was petrified. 


To relax me, Pompeo Posar 
told me to think of myself as a 
shoe while he took my picture." 


experience the power of Operation 
Playmate firsthand, log on to www. 
playboy.com/announcements/play/ 
index.html. Soon you'll also be able 
to visit the Photo Library at cyber. 
playboy.com/members/library. 


At the press party for The Playmate 
Book in November, 16 Playmates 
spanning five decades reunited with 
Hef for a book sign- 
ing at the Playboy 
Mansion and at a Su- 
per Crown in Santa 
Monica. Stacy San- 
ches, Jo Collins, DeDe 
Lind, Candy Loving 
and a surprise visit by 
1956 Playmate Betty 
Blue helped make it a 
truly special event. 
Crowds of people— 
many of whom bought 
six books at a time—lined 
up around the block for 
autographs. “This book is 
much more personal to 


Bill Maher poses with Ploymotes (top, lef to 
right) Julie Cialini, Tino Bockrath, Anna 
Marie Goddard and Stacy Sanches. Hefond 
Kimberley autogroph The Ploymate Book 


FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS: 
FIRST PLAYMATES 
First woman called a Playmate: 

Margie Harrison (January 
1954) 

First triple-page 
centerfold: 

Marian Stafford 
(March 1956) 
First to sign her 
centerfold: 

Jill De Vries 
(October 1975) 
First Canadian 
Playmate: 

Pamela Anne 
Gordon (March 
1962) 

First Asian 
Playmate: 

China Lee 
(August 1964) 
First black 
Playmate: 

Jennifer Jackson (March 1965) 
First published Data Sheet: 

Sondra Theodore (July 1977) 
First Playmate younger than 
PLAYBOY: 

Monica Tidwell (November 
1973) 

First Phi Beta Kappa Playmate: 

Alice Denham (July 1956) 


Jill De Vries 


me than The Playboy Book,” Hef said 
"The first edition— 125,000 copies— 
has sold out. General Publishing 
Group went into a second edition in 
December. 


171 


172 


"Here's my idea of a perfect day: My 
morning mail contained a personal 
letter from a Playmate. The Decem- 


PLAYMATE NEWS 


"When I was just a kid, one of the 
things I was taught was that the pres- 
ident outranks one's mother when 
making a formal introduc- 


PLAYMATE TRIVIA 


tion. So the proper form 
would be ‘Mr. President, I 
would like you to meet my 
mother’ But how do you in- 
troduce a Playmate to your 
mom? Do you say, ‘Miss My- 
ers, this is my mom, or do 
you say, ‘Mom, this is Cyn- 
thia Myers?" liam Ar- 
vola, arvola@sol.acs. 
unt.edu 


Playmate Cynthia Myers re- 
sponded to this weighty question 
thusly: "William, I think most 
will agree that moms outrank 


ber issue arrived, The Playmate Book 
just came in at the local bookstore 
and the Cheerleaders video is on sale 
down the block. This may be old 
news for some of you, but those of us 
who live in Edmonton, Canada—an 
hour's flight from the Arctic Cirde— 
know that good things are worth the 
wait. Then life improyed even more, 
I visited southern California, where I 
had the good fortune of attending the 
taping of Wings on which Jenny Mc- 
Carthy guest-starred. Her comic tim- 
ing was right on. However, several 
takes were required for the breadstick 
scene. Something you may not see in 
the blooper reels is Jenny putting one 
of the breadsticks up her nostril be- 
fore the last take. She seems to know 
a lot about having fun."—David 
Reeves, REEVESD@enr.gov.ab.ca 


—— Gail Stanton 1954-1996 — Y 


Gail Stanton, Miss June 1978, 
was only 42 when she died last 
November of kidney failure and 
abdominal complications. Con- 
tributing Photographer David 
Chan remembers Gail. "I was 
looking for can- 


The Girls of the 
New South when 
1 met Gail. I 
shot some pho- 
tographs of her 
to take back to 
Chicago. The 
editors liked 
her, She was both beautiful and 
very professional.” Stanton was 
from Memphis and, naturally, 
was a fan of Elvis. In fact, she 
went out with him. Gail said, 


“Elvis made Memphis proud.” 
So did she. We'll miss her. 


everyone except the president.” 


PEGGY MCINTAGGART: 

“| like going to signing events. 
I get together with the girls. It's 
like a reunion. pLaysoy is the 


only magazine I've done, be- 
cause it’s classy. It’s given me 


good exposure.” 


QUOTE UNQUOTE 


“I really admire the Playmates from 
the Sixties. They were pioneers. 
PLAYBOY made a big difference in 
my life. My one great 
desire was to be 
photographed and 
published in a na- 
tional magazine. 1 
wanted to be a mod- 
el and I was. I 
worked for PLAYBOY, 
did lingerie catalogs 
and a cover. Га still 
like to be in a James Bond movie." 
— BONNIE MARINO, Miss June 1990 


“My association with pıayuoy has re- 
ally been fun. From the day 1 went to 
the Mansion for the first time to the 
day my issue came out, I had a blast. 
I'd do it again in a second. 

I have a daughter 1 
now, and people ask a 
me how 1 would feel 

if she wanted to ap- 

pear in the magazine. 

It wouldn't bother me 

a bit. My friends at 

PLAYBOY are very 

grounded. They are 

nice girls. I'll always be proud of that 
time in my life.” 

ARRIE YAZEL, Miss May 1991 


PLAYMATE GOSSIP 


DATE WITH AN ANGEL: July 1996 
Playmate Angel Boris has fin- 
ished a few independent 

A movies, including Hot 
je Times at the Oasis and Sui- 
cide Blonde. Between her 

4 PLAYBOY promotions and 

"=". her movie work, Angel 
— has dyed her hair from 
blonde to red and back four 
times. . . . Priscilla Taylor, Pauly 
Shore's main squeeze, made a 
guest appearance on CBS's The 
Nanny. . . . Vicki McCarty Iovine 
is writing a follow-up to The Girl- 
friends’ Guide to Pregnancy. It’s an- 
other chatty primer. .. . The latest 
feature spin-off from the НВО 
horror-comedy 
series Tales From 
the Crypt, Bor- 


Carol Vitale 
has a cable 
access show 
in New York, 
California 
and Florida, 
with more 
states slat- 
ed for later 
in 1997... 
Judy Tyler 
has her 
own festival 
and party 
production 
company, 
Sweet & 
Spicy En- 
tertain- 


Sneak Jennifer Miriom 


in African and reggae music. . . . 
Call Candy Lop Calendars (800- 
404-1397) for a copy of the 1997 
Texas Swimsuit Calendar starring 
Miss March 1997, Jennifer Miri- 
am. . .. Karin Taylor, who made a 
memorable splash here in June 
1996, made her Baywatch debut 
last month in an episode about a 
homeless shelter for children. . . . 
We hear that Bebe Buell may 
publish her autobiography. 
PLAYBOY'S most famous rock babe 
knows where all the bodies are 
buried. ... Cyndi Wood has an al- 
bum out called Sacrifice (e-mail 
atuworld@deltanet.com). 
di Mark became engaged to Mot- 
ley Crue's Vince Neil. What's with 
the women of PLAYBOY and that 
band, anyway? Watch for Heidi in 
a recurring role on Married With 
Children. 


MICHAEL JORDAN 


(continued from page 123) 


Baseball is the greatest fun. When a baskelball game 
is over, it's zip-zip, 12 guys out the door. 


filled a book of crosswords. And 1 lis- 
tened to some funny arguments. The 
guys on my minor-league team, most 
were 21 or younger, and they'd go on 
about TV shows. Not about whether the 
show was good. They'd argue about 
what time it was on. "It's on at seven!” 
"No, 7:30!" I was thinking, Man, this 
makes me feel old. 


12. 


PLAYBOY: What else about joining the 
Birmingham Barons was tough on the 
world's greatest athlete? 

JORDAN: Hitting. It's hard. And then I'd 
see some of those kids staying out till 
three or four in the morning, drinking 
beer like water, and the next day they'd 
go four for five. 


13. 


PLAYBOY: Did you chew tobacco? 

JORDAN; Not this tirne. I tried it back in 
high school baseball—peer pressure— 
and get a little sick. So in the minor 
leagues I stuck to sunflower seeds. I'd 
spit them all over the dugout, practicing 
my accuracy. We playcd basketball that 
way, spitting seeds at a Gatorade cup. 1 
got better at it, but not to a profession- 
al level. 

I still think baseball is the greatest 
fun, the best camaraderie you can have. 
When a basketball game is over, it's zip- 
zip, 12 guys out the door in different di- 
rections. The camaraderie in baseball, at 
least in the minors, was unbelievable— 
ten or 12 players hanging out together 
every night. I still keep in touch with 
some of those guys. 


14. 


PLAYBOY: Every minor-league ballplayer 
knows how to rewire a motel TV to steal 
premium cable. Did you? 

JORDAN: No, I can afford to pay. But no- 
body else was ordering movies; they 
were saving their money. That's why my 
room vas the team theater. All the guys 
came in to watch the movie with me. 


15. 


PLAYBOY: What's your dream foursome 
for golf? 

JORDAN: Can I say five? Tiger Woods, 
Arnold Palmer, Davis Love III, Ben 
Hogan and me. We play skins, and no- 
body wins a skin unless he knocks a hole 
inone. 

Here's a real group: me, Larry Bird 
and Bill Murray. We've played a few 
times. Talk about talk—Bill is a player, a 
commentator and a damn coach all at 
once. It's just like Caddyshack. He'll be 


teeing off and giving the play-by-play on 
what club he's using, what kind of shot 
he wants to play. He does it while you're 
playing, too. 


16. 


PLAYBOY: Can you be psyched out on the 
course? 

JORDAN: Sometimes. There's a lot of re- 
verse psychology on a golf course. My 
short game is probably the best part of 
my game, but ГЇЇ hit the tee ball any- 
where. So mostly the attacks come when 
I'm teeing off. A guy will drop a tidbit: 
“Michael, there's water on the right. 
Make sure you go left.” It's that simple— 
golf is such a mental game that you can't 
block it out. I'll be trying to focus on a 
good swing, but if you have to think 
about focusing, your concentration's not 
there, ? Golf does that to you. Think 
about the negative and you're in trouble. 
You're in the water. 


17. 


»LavBov: Why do white guys look so bad 
with shaved heads? 

JORDAN: [Laughing] Y guess it has to do. 
with tanning. They've never tanned that 
part of their damn bodies, so the head 
stands out a little. 


18. 


PLAYBOY: When you were 15, you got 
cut from your high school basketball 
team. What do you remember about that 
moment? 

JORDAN: Looking at the list on the bul- 
letin board. 1 looked through it four or 
five times. My name wasn't there. I went 
immediately to question the coach. I 
thought he was wrong. But it didn't 
help. Years later, I thought about that 
when I saw my name in the newspaper. 
It was when the Bulls won the first 
championship. Everyone said an NBA 
scoring champion couldn't win the NBA 
title, but I'd just done it. There it was in 
the paper. So I proved everyone wrong. 
That's one of my strong points. 


19. 


PLAYBOY: Fifteen years ago this spring, as 
a freshman at North Carolina, you won 
the NCAA tourney with a last-second 
jumper from the corner. Did you know it 
was going in? 

JORDAN: It felt good, but I was fading 
away, the defense was coming. 1 never 
saw it go in. I knew from the crowd, 
hearing the crowd noise. That was the 
beginning of Michael Jordan. 


20. 


pLavsoy: Was Shaquille O'Neal joking 
when he told us that you really can fly? 
JoeDan: People can fly. Some fly higher 
than others, that’s all. 


DRINK TECHNICIAN? COCKTAIL COORDINATOR? 
BEVERAGE ADMINISTRATOR? 


(THANKFULLY, A BARTENDER IS STILL A BARTENDER.) 


Enjoy Red Label Responsibly 10 H N N IE WALKER an LABEL 


Nol.. (80 Proof) 
91996 Schiffen & Somerset Ca, New York, NY. 


urns out it's true: What goes around comes around. Cuff 
links were popular in the Twenties, the Fifties and the Six- 
ties, according to Gene Klompus, president of the Nation- 
al Cuff Link Society, but they were consigned to the bot- 
tom drawer in the casual Seventies. Now cufí links are back. 
Shirtmakers are offering the largest variety of French-cuff styles 


JAMES IMBROGNO. 


Clockwise from top: ling silver and vermei 
James It Galleries ($400). Sterling silver and enamel cufflinks 


"WHERE & HOW TO BUY ON PAGE 162. 


CUFF STUFF 


ever, and fashion designers such as Ralph Lauren are including 
shirts with French cuffs in their spring wardrobes. When picking a 
pair of links, you can play it safe with enamel art deco or silver- 
and-crystal looks, or express yourselí by sporting various types that 
represent your interests, such as sterling silver or gold cigars or 
corkscrews. The latter ones are available with wine bottle studs. 


igar butt cuff links from Robert Vance ($95). An art deco double-faced style circa 1920 from 
the shape of a golf bag, designed by Susan Maimon of Apropo, from Frank 
Stella ($130). Rabbit-and-cartridge cuff links in sterling silver and enamel from Holland & Holland ($355). EI 
ling silver cuff links from the LS Collection (about $170). Gold-plate and enamel SURF THE NET cuff links from Frank Stella ($130). Going black 
tie? Try sterling silver corkscrew links with wine bottle studs by the Caroline Collection ($225 for the set or $125 for just the links alone). 


tical-shaped crystal and ster- 


OMM E VINE 


The Tush Push 
z JAMIE WILSON isn't line- 
Naomi’s Walk on dancing here, just prac- 
the Wild Side ticing for her Hot 


Now British model NAOMI Kuala 
CAMPBELL has branched modeling stint. Tails, 
ош. She is part owner of dicis 
the Fashion Café, appeared 

in Girl 6 and is working on 

a CD. Here's to sheer. 


What's New, 
Pussycats? 
Next time you're in Los An- 
geles, check the local list- 
ings for the informal week- 
ly "girlie" revue at the 
Viper Room. A cast of up- 
and-coming stars—THE 
PUSSYCAT DOLLS and 
MTV's Singled Out co-host 
CARMEN ELECTRA (cen- 

176 ter)—salutes vaudeville. 


All Clear 


EVERCLEAR's major label debut caused a buzz. While 
you wait for Pure White Evil, the follow-up to Sparkle 
and Fade, check them out on the soundtrack to 
Romeo and Juliet, Nothing is murky about Everclear. 


Erika Is 
Topped Off 
ERIKA OLSON 
was Miss March 
in Revenge of 
the Calendar 
Girls. How ap- 
propriate. You 
may have 
glimpsed her 
on Baywatch, 
Silk Stalkings 
and Ren- 
egade. Geta 
better look 
here. 


^ Bubble 


N Trouble 


LUKE PERRY'S chal- 
lenge is to go beyond 

his role on Beverly Hills 
90210 without gum- 
ming up the 

works. 


How to Stuff a 
Wet Bikini 
CARMELA PANICO is a 
calendar model who ap- 
peared in the premiere 
issue of Sportsplay maga- 
zine, in a swimsuit picto- 
rial. Less is definitely more. 


WAR IS VIDEO 


“The definitive video history of the most de- 
structive century humankind has ever experi- 
enced" ow Time Life describes Century of 
Warfare, its latest videocassette series. More 
than a quarter of a million hours of authentic 
battlefield footage—not seen until now; much 
of it was deemed top secret —was used to create 
three five-tape sets that cover World War One, 
World War Two and modern warfare. Each set 
costs about $80. Call 800-TIMEvID. 


SHARPER IMAGE 


“A razor blade isn't dulled by shaving," says for- 
mer aerospace engineer John Hastie. "The 
blade merely becomes bent and distorted." So 
Hastie invented the Razor Mate. It's a magnetic 
device, no larger than a TV remote control, on 
which you lay your razor nightly. The next 
morning, the blade is straight again and contin- 
ues to deliver great shaves up to ten times 
longer than with normal use. You have to try it 
to believe it. Price: $23.50 from 800-803-4370. 


POTPOURRI 


THIS STORE SMOKES 


All the stogie puffing that’s going on has given rise to smoke sig- 
nals of another sort—antique shops that specialize in vintage to- 
bacco-related paraphernalia. The Past & Present Men's Club (pic- 
tured above), Booth 1, Cranberry House Mall, 12318 Ventura 
Blvd., Studio City, California 91604, is one of the best. Owner Su- 
san Allan-Harshman stocks vintage Dunhill and Du Pont lighters, 
unusual cigar cutters, antique humidors and labels and much 
more. A list of goodies is $3. Call 818-314-1200 for more info. 


THE WINE BOOK LIST 


Wine books continue to pop up like champagne corks on New 
Year's Eve. Here's a roundup of some we like. The Grapes of Ralph 
($35) by Ralph Steadman is filled with his madcap illustrations (as 
depicted here) and witty observations about vineyards and wine 
tastings. The second edition of Wine Appreciation ($60) by Richard 
P Vine further details “the 

history, science and joy of 

wines,” while The Taste of 
Wine ($40) by Emile Pey- 
naud explores “the art and 
science of wine apprecia- 
tion.” The Wine-Tasting 
Class ($40) by Judy Ridg- 
way approaches wine as 
one would in a tasting 
session and is especially 
helpful to novice oeno- 
philes. Last, there's Ger- 
ald Asher's Vineyard 
Tales ($22.95), a de- 
lightful hardcover by 
the wine editor of 
Courmet magazine that 
chronicles his 
opinion of 
wines rang- 
ing from 


FERRARIS FOREVER 


In honor of Ferrari's 50th birthday, the 
1997 Raupp Limited Edition Ferrari Calen- 
dar showcases 12 legendary machines 
from the 625 Fl to the 330 P4 Spider 
pictured here. Single-seaters and sports 
racers are featured through November; 
December is devoted to the newest mod- 
el, the 550 Maranello. Each 19"x27" cal- 
endar (only 6000 are available) is num- 
bered and costs $80. Call 800-421-2011. 


SOFT GOODS DO HARD TIME 


Hard Time T-shirts, sweatshirts, caps, 
boxer shorts and other items of apparel 
are silk-screened by San Quentin inmates 
earning minimum wage. Their salaries 
are divided equally among room and 
board, victim restitution, family support, 
personal expenses and a savings account. 
Caps and 'I-shirts are $15. Sweatshirts are 
$24. Shorts are $18. And if someone 
makes a mistake, the product is stamped 
with a big PAROLE DENIED and sold that 
way. Call Inkarcerated Industries at 510- 
426-8230 to order. 


AND HERE'S THE REST 
OF THE STOLI 


Last month's back cover of 
PLAYBOY announced that Stolich- 
naya was introducing Stoli 
Razberi (raspberry) vodka to the 
American market. It's one of six 
70-proof flavored vodkas the 
Russian company is bringing 
here. Stoli Vanil (vanilla), Stras- 
beri (strawberry), Persik (peach), 
Zinamon (cinnamon) and Kafya 
(coffee) are going national after 
being introduced in limited 
markets late last year. Each has 
a distinctive flavor, whether 
served straight up, on the rocks 
or in a mixed drink. Price: about 
$17 for a 750-ml bottle at up- 
scale liquor stores. 


NEN 


GARA STOLICHNAY: | 
nr | ee 


Wero Borra: 
FOUR SLICES OF CHEESECAKE 


We're not the only ones who think pin-ups are one of the greatest 
art forms in American history. Collectors Press, Inc. just released 
Vignettes, a scrics of pocket-size books that showcases illustrations 
by four of the best pin-up artists of the century. Alberto Vargas: The 
Esquire Years, Rolf Armstrong: The Dream Girls, Billy DeVorss: The 
Classic Pin-Ups and Gil Elugren: The Wartime Pin-Ups cost $9.95; 
$35 for the set. Call 888-680-3030 for more info. 


MONTANA FISH STORY 


“A newspaper serving Ennis, 
McAllister, the Madison Valley, 
Montana, Planet Earth, the 
Known Universe & Other 

how Ron W. Marr 
sistant Publisher & Top 
Dog, Buffett the Wolfhound”) 
describes The Fan Mountain Al- 
manac & Trout Wrapper, which he 
publishes weekly (except during 
the winter) out of PO. Box 128, 
McAllister, Montana 59740. 
Marr's views on politics and 
Western life are witty, as are the 
columns Commando Houseuife 
and The Bamboo Flyrod. Price: 
$30 annually, "and no, we don't 
have any damn e-mail!" 


NEXT MONTH 


WILD TWENTIES: HERE'S HOWARD 


PAL JOEY SAY AHH 


JOEY HEATHERTON—THE RAT PACKS TOP DOLL АМО VINCENT BUGLIOSI—HE PUT AWAY CHARLES MANSON, 
SINGER-DANCER EXTRAORDINAIRE STAGES HER HOTTEST WROTE THE TOP-SELLING TRUE CRIME BOOK OF ALL TIME 
ACT JUST FOR PLAYBOY (HELTER SKELTER) AND IS STILL ENRAGED ABOUT THE O.J. 
SPECIAL SPRING PREVIEW WE HAVE IT ALL, FROM SIMPSON VERDICT. MEET LOS ANGELES’ OUTSPOKEN LE- 
FETISH BALLS AND CYBERCAFÉS TO THE COOLEST pups ВАЁ BULLDOG IN A COMPELLING PLAYBOY INTERVIEW BY 
AND LATEST GADGETS. DID WE MENTION SIX AWESOME LAWRENCE GROBEL 

ALES AND THE HOT NEW COLLEGE DRINK, HARD CIDER? DENTAL ASSISTANTS. OPEN UP AND SAY AHH, BECAUSE 
PARTY HARDY, MEMBERS OF THE HOTTEST DRILL TEAM IN THE COUNTRY 
JAMES BOND BLASTS INTO HONG KONG. BUT CAN HE ARE SHOWING OFF MORE THAN THEIR PEARLY WHITES IN 
SURVIVE THE SINISTER SECRET TRIADS AND THE COL- THIS JAW-DROPPING PICTORIAL 

ONYS FIENDISH INCENSE MASTER? THE LATEST 007 

THRILLER BY RAYMOND BENSON 


I SPY AT THE FBI—A FORMER AGENT LEVELS SOME 
SHOCKING CHARGES AT THE FBI'S VAUNTED CRIME LAB— 
HOWARD STERN—HE'S CONQUERED RADIO, TV AND ARTICLE BY JEFF STEIN 


BOOKS WITH HIS OUTRAGEOUS SPEWING. WHAT'S NEXT 
FOR THE SELF-PROCLAIMED KING OF ALL MEDIA? PRIVATE VANESSA WILLIAMS—SHE CAN ACT, SHE CAN SING, 


PARTS STILL INTACT. HE'S ABOUT TO BECOME A МОМЕ SHE'S GORGEOUS AND SHE SMOKES CIGARS. BUT AS 
STAR—A PLAYBOY PROFILE BY JAMIE MALANOWSKI RICHARD LALICH FINDS OUT IN AN INTRIGUING 20 QUES- 


TIONS, THERE'S MORE TO THIS FORMER MISS AMERICA 
PLAYBOY'S HISTORY OF THE SEXUAL REVOLUTION—N THAN MEETS THE EYE 


PART THREE OF THE SERIES, JAMES R. PETERSEN RE- 
CREATES THE WILDEST YEARS OF THEM ALL—THE JAZZ PLUS: INCOMPARABLE SILVER, THE MARVELOUS MARIEL. 
AGE. PLUS: WHAT REALLY HAPPENED AT THAT PARTY WITH HEMINGWAY AND A VISIT WITH THE VIXEN FROM BEYOND 


THE INFAMOUS FATTY ARBUCKLE. THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS, DOLLY READ 


THE 


EVOLUTION 


OF SAVANE 


COTTO 


EASUA 


ND FADE 


et 


SAVANE 


http//savane,