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PLAYBILL 


THIS MONTH we have more stars than a Van Gogh painting— 
new stars, resurgent stars and even some Star Wars. To begin: 
Heather Когаг is Playmate of the Year. Actually, Heather has in- 
spired heavy crushes for 17 months. Now she is ready to take 
the world with her short hair. See for yourself. Her pictorial 
was shot by Arny Freytag and choreographed by West Coast 
Photo Editor Merilyn Grabowski. 

Brace yourself for a sharp Playboy Interview with Samuel L. 
Jackson. Yeah, that guy—the righteous dude who riffed on 
pigs in Pulp Fiction. The guy whose résumé is loaded down 
with Jungle Fever, Die Hard With a Vengeance, The Negotiator 
and Goodfellas. Daily Variety columnist Michael Fleming sat with 
Jackson and walked away smarter. Pick a subject—cocaine 
(Jackson's an ex-user), paparazzi, race, Chris Tucker, babied 
actors—and Jackson's answer will impress. Next up, Holly- 
wood's leader in assists elevates Yoda's game in the most an- 
ticipated film of the millennium, Star Wars: Episode I: The 
Phantom Menace. Turning to our homage, The Saga Begins, 
where you can admire Mace Windu's light saber, ogle the 
hottest tellar dancing girl and study Darth Vader's fa- 
vorite lines till your voice turns raspy. 

As one of the most powerful men in the nation's most pop- 
ulous state, Willie Brown has settled in as mayor of San Francis 
co. Now, in a profile called His Hipness the Mayor, Burr Snider 
presents Brown to the other side of the Sierra Nevada. You 
won't soon forget the party animal of politics. Speaking of wild 
times, Matt Groening recently said he was sorry he inflict- 
ed Bart Simpson on parents. Seems Groening now has two 
grade-schoolers. Thi 
baby, the series Fulurama. 
Groening looks back at h 
wonders where the time went. Another star with a past, Christi- 
па Applegate, makes no apologies for playmg Kelly Bundy on 
Married With Children. “Too much Equal or something," she 
says in a 20 Questions with Robert Crane. “І don't remember any- 
thing about it.” We do, though, and we love her even more in 
the hit Jesse. 

No Exit is the title of Blondie's new album and it suits us just 
fine. After a 17-year absence, the band is back. In When Harry 
Met Blondie Deborah Harry's biographer Glenn O'Brien traces the 
trajectory of his favorite lead singer. And in a revealing look at 
Harry's roots, delightful nude pictures of a pre-Blondie Har- 
ry flesh out the text. Today's musical landscape is being re- 
shaped at 120 beats per minute, thanks to the convergence of 
electronic music and the tradition of hip-hop DJs. In a 
heavy package called Р] Culture, Timothy Mohr checks in with 
Coldcut and other leaders of the genre. It’s all about decks 
(turntables), drums (breakbeats) and rock and roll. Being 
PLAYBOY, we'd never slight jazz—but we did last month. We 
said our Jazz Festival starts June 2, whereas it's on June 12 
and 13. Call it anücipation. 

The age of better living through chemistry is here and 
Michael Parrish tells us what we can expect in our latest science. 
project, Lifestyle Drugs. (The artwork is by Wilson McLean.) 
Whether you're talking weight loss or hair gain, the future 
looks bright and shiny and comes in a pill. To help you con- 
tinue your drug-free, postgraduate existence in style, editors 
Barbara Nell Alison Lundgren compiled classy golden rules 
in Playboy's Guide to Life After College. Artist Steven Guamaccia 
provided the illustrations for how-tos on careers, clothes and 
living with a roommate (maybe even a roommate with a bra) 
Before you buy that new computer, read the manual—that is, 
Laptop Dancing by Ted C. Fishman. He rates the best carryalls in 
ways even computards understand. Yearning for simpler 
times? The Pussycat Dolls pictorial may help. The gorgeous 
stars of the Viper Room’s cabaret floor show take it off for the 
first time in public. Goes to show there's more than one way 
to skin a cat. 


FREYTAG, KOZAR, GRABOWSKI 


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PLAYBOY 


vol. 46, no. 6—june 1999 CONTENTS FOR THE MEN'S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE 
PLAYBILL В РЯ А E Я 5 т 
THE WORLD OF PLAYBOY Етте г 13 
PARTY LIKE IT'S 1999 dps UBER: " 14 
DEAR PLAYBOY. 17 
PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS E с 2з 
MOVIES. ра РУНИ " ...LEONARD MALTIN 25 
VIDEO К А EN 28 
MUSIC... Баса н 29 
WIRED E sis е ; > 32 
LIVING ONLINE ...... at — MARK FRAUENFELDER зз 
TRAVEL 34 
BOOKS D Ph заў rai 36 
MEN 3 is * . ASABABER 37 
TELEVISION: FUTURAMA ............ Бава STEVE POND 38 
МАМТВАСК а 
THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR аз 
THE PLAYBOY FORUM Mte N ^ 45 
PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: SAMUEL І. JACKSON—candid conversation TEE Pills a Poppin’ 
LIFESTYLE DRUGS: WHAT'S AFTER VIAGRA? —orticle 2. MICHAEL PARRISH 70 
PUSSYCAT DOLLS—pictorial 74 
DJ CULTURE аніс 7 sess TIMOTHY MOHR ві 
HIS HIPNESS THE MAYOR—profile sss, BURR SNIDER 86 
SUMMER SUITS—foshion o В ЖАС HOLLIS WAYNE 90 
20 QUESTIONS: CHRISTINA APPLEGATE SERRA soso 94 
STAR WARS: THE SAGA BEGINS—preview 96 
SUGAR AND SPICER—playboy’s playmate of the month .... аў? 
PARTY JOKES—humor 2222... 3 Y ў 114 кылышы 
DADS AND GRADS--gifis 5 NETS 116 
DEBORAH HARRY—personality з ..GLENN O’BRIEN 120 
LAPTOP DANCING—computers Я Е - TED C. FISHMAN 124 
PLAYMATE OF THE YEAR—pictorial ... А P 128 
PLAYBOY'S GUIDE TO LIFE AFTER COLLEGE—article 2 144 
WHERE & HOW ТО BUY - 2 pese 166 
PLAYMATE NEWS ...... dm Р : tee 175 
PLAYBOY ON THE SCENE е зс A 179 Sample This 
COVER STORY 


"People told me Іт the Nineties version of Marilyn Monroe,” soys 1999 Ploy- 
mole of the Yeor Heather Kozor. "Then І cut my hair short ond storted heoring 
it oll the time. Not that І could ever replace her.” Our nod to MM—our first 
cover—from the century's lost РМОЎ wos produced by West Coast Photo Edi- 
tor Marilyn Grobowski, shot by Arny Freytag ond slyled by Lone Coyle. Alex- 
is Vogel styled Hecther's hoir and mokeup. Our Rabbit hos no snoke phobio 


PRINTED IN U.S.A 


PLAYBOY 


Model 88 


This year’s 
best radio 
The Gadget 
Guru 


“The Best Гуе Heard” 


А 


Model 88 s a hi 
sound likes 


In 1960 Henny Kloss changed how the 
work istened to music when he intr 
duced the first high fidditry FM table 
radio - the KLH Model Eight. The new 
Model 88 by Henry Kios ™ once again 

Va redefines how ve listen to music 

fidelity table ralio dat really does 

ood component audio system. Thats be 


cause combines highperformance speakers and a re 


markable EM tuner that outperforms many боле 
alio has a builtin powered subuoofer-is 
es bass with remark 


We 


31 
reproduc 


accuracy and impact. 
sounds batter than many (on 


think Model 


ponent stereo systems. М includes a slim, easy-to-use 


= 
oe 


Stereo Review 
remote control and тко sets of stereo inputs, so can һе 
connected with а CD player, tape deck, TV or computer 

Audition Made 88 in vour own home, isening to veur 
music, for 30 days. Myou don't fall in love with it, retum it 
for ful refund. 


For a 30-Day Home Audition or For 
‘The Location ofa Dealer Nearest You, call 


1-800-FOR-HIFI 


0067-4484) 


311 Neram Siret, Suite 290, Newton, MA (oi 
T 1800408 Бас оГ 


Metall Stores in San Francisco Bay 
32929) Canad: 18/0525 4444 Outside US 


New England 


Canad 17 82.5950 


Playboy Dog Tag and Chain 
Small tag in front engraved 
with black Rabbit Heed. Large 
tag engraved with "Playboy 
est. 1953.” Silvertone metal 
30" bead chain. Gif-boxed. 


рала PLAYBOY Y 


Jewelry for Men 


AS 


еее“ 


USA. CG5B32 518 


Canadian orders accepted (please vi 


Men's Rabbit Head Ring 
Silvertone metal ID ring with 
black Rabbit Head engraved 
on each side. Giltboxed 
USA. Sizes 7, B, 9, 10. 
CG5B35 515 


Ployboy ID Bracelet 

Heavy silverione metal curb 
chain with Playboy ID plate. 
Ployboy name embossed in 
textured print. 9" long. 
Giftboxed. USA. 

CG5830 $20 


Most mojor credit cords occepted. 


Include credit cord occount number ond expirotion date or send o check or 
money order to Playboy, PO. Box 809, Source Code 03491, Itasca, Illinois 60143-0809. 54.00 
shipping-ond-hondling chorge per tolol order. Illinois residents include 6.75% sales lox. 


Visit the Playboy Store at 


our website for other foreign orders) 


1999 ovtoy 


PLAYBOY 


HUGH М. HEFNER 
editor-in-chief 


ARTHUR KRETCHMER editorial director 


JONATHAN BLACK managing editor 
TOM STAEBLER art director 
GARY COLE photography director 


KEVIN BUCKLEY, STEPHEN RANDALL 
executive editors 


JOHN REZER assistant managing editor 


EDITORIAL. 
FICTION: ALICE К. TURNER editor; FORUM: 
JAMES к. PETERSEN senior staff writer; CHIP ROWE 
associate editor; MODERN LIVING: DAVID STF 
vens editor; BETH TONKIW associale editor; DAN 
HENLEY assistant, STAFF: CHRISTOPHER Na: 
VOLLTANO senior editor; BARBARA NELLIS associate 
editor; ALISON LUNDGREN assistant editor; CAROL 
ACKERBERG. LINDA FEIDELSON, HELEN FRANGOULIS 
CAROL KUBALER, HARRIET PEASE, JOYCE WIEGAND: 
pavas editorial assistants; FASHION: HOLLIS 
WAYNE direclor; JENNIFER RYAN JONES assistant 
editor; CARTOONS: MICHELLE URRY editor 
KERRY MALONEY assistant; COPY: LEOPOLD 
FROEHLICH editor; BRETT HUSTON, ANNE SHERMAN 
assistant edilors; REMA SMITH senior researcher; 
LEE BRAUER. GEORGE HODAK. KRISTEN SWANN 7e- 
searchers; MARK DURAN research librarian; ana 
HEED ALANI, TIM GALVIN, JOSEPH. HIGAREDA, JOAN 
MCLAUGHLIN, BETH WARRELL proofreaders; Jot 
CANE assistant; CONTRIBUTING EDITORS: 
ASA BABER. CHRISTOPHER BYRON, JOE DOLCE 
GRETCHEN EDGREN, LAWRENCE СОВЕТ, KEN GROSS. 
WAKKEN KALBACKER, D. KEITH MANO, JOE MORGEN 
STERN. DAVID RENSIN, DAVID SHEFF 


ART 
KEKIG rore managing director; BRUCK HANSEN 
CHET єкї, LEN Wir IS niar diveetars: SCOTT 
ANDERSON assistant art director; ANN SEIL Super- 
visor, keyline/pasteup, PAUL CHAN senior art assis- 
lant; JASON SIMONS art assistant 


PHOTOGRAPHY 
MARILYN GRABOWSKI west coast editor; JIM LAR 
son managing editor—chicago; MICHAEL. ANN SUL 
LAVAN senior editor; STEPHANIE BARNETT, PATTY 
BEAUDET-ERANCÉS, KEVIN KUSTER associate edilors; 
DAVID CHAN. RICHARD FEGLEY ARNY FREYTAG. RICH- 
ARD 1201, DAVID MECEY POMPEO POSAR. STEPHEN 
wayna contributing: photographers; сконс скон 
ciou studio manager—chicago; BILL WHITE stu 
dio manager—los angeles; SHELLEE WELLS stylist; 
ELIZABETH CHORGIOU photo archivist 


RICHARD KINSLER publisher 


PRODUCTION 
MARIA MANDIS director; WITA JOHNSON manager 
KATHERINE CAMPION, JODY JURGETO, RICHARD 
QUARTAROLI, TOM SIMONEK associate managers 
DARB TERIELA, DEBBIE THLOU fypeselters; BIL 
BERWAY, LISA COOK, SINMIE WILLIAMS prepress 


CIRCULATION 
LARRY A. шек newsstand sales director; rivus 
KOTUNNO subscription circulation director; cis 
RAROWITZ communications direcior 


ADVERTISING 
JAMES DIMONERAS, advertising director; JEFF кім 
MEL. new york sales manager; jor HOFFER mid- 
west sales manager; ikv KORNBLAU markeling 
director; TERRI CARROLL research director 


READER SERVICE 
LINDA STROM, MIKE OSTROWSKI correspondents 


ADMINISTRATIVE 
MARCIA TERRONES rights € permissions director 


PEM 
cunasmie neren chairman, chief executive officer 
ALEX MIRONOVICH president, publishing division 


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THE WORLD OF PLAYBOY 


hef sightings, mansion frolics and nightlife notes 


HEF'S SLEEPOVER 

Hef stopped in to check on the progress of the Playmate Paja- 
та Party video and to check out the sexy sleepwear on Jaime 
Bergman, Lisa Dergan, Stacy Fuson and Heather Kozar. 


LOOK WHAT 
HEF GOT FOR 

A PRESENT 
Faced with finding 
just the right pres- 
ent for a man who 
has everything, Hef's 
friend Brande Rod- 
erick offers water 
nymphs Mandy 
Bentley. Andrea Lo- 
gan, Nenna Quiroz, 
Kristy Cline and De- 
anna Brooks. 


FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT TO PARTY 

Joining Hef on fight night are Leon Isaac Ken- 
nedy, Smokey Robinson, Rod Stewart and a 
bevy of Playmates and friends: Heather Kozar, 
Alison Berliner, Lisa Dergan, Stewart, Deanna 
Brooks, Victoria Fuller and Carrie Stevens—all 
technical knockouts 


LIVE FROM 
THE PLAYBOY 
MANSION 
Roseanne broadcast 
her TV talk show from 
the Playboy Mansion 
late last winter, en- 
abling her to inter- 
view Hef comfortably 
in his lair. Another 
guest was the Gram- 
my award-winning 
jazz musician Herbie 
Hancock. He took 
lime to squeeze out 
a nostalgic moment 
with Miss August 1986 
‚Ava Fabian (left) and 
Miss January 1996 Vic- 
toria Fuller, who were 
decked out in full Bun- 
пу regalia for the year 
of the rabbit 


More than a billion Chinese are celebrat- 
ing the Year of the Rabbit. Count us in. | 
The Playboy Mansion is p central for 
a yearlong bash. (1) Hef 
stop conga-ing for 365 days. (2) Tim Car- 
rey (with Stacy Fuson and pal) apparently 
raided Hef's closet, (3) We don't know her | 
name, but we like her. (4) Hef and Wilt 
Chamberlain. (5) New Year's Eve: guys 
in tuxes, ladies in lingerie. (6) Hef and 
Jack. (7) George Clooney, Deanna Brooks 
and friend. (8) Alyssa Milano charms Neil 
| Patrick Harris. (9) John Stamos is horny 
for his wife, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos. (10) 
Jerry Springer, Brian Austin. — 
Green, Julie Brown and pal. (11) | 
“Do a little dance, make a little 
love, get down tonight." (12) | 


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DEAR PLAYBOY 


680 NORTH LAKE SHORE ORIVE 
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 60611 
FAX 312-649-9534 
EMAIL OEARFO@PLAYBOYGON 
PLEASE INCLUOE YOUR DAYTIME PHONE NUMBER 


KISS AND TELL 

I'm a 30-year-old mother of two, and 
I've been a Kiss fan since I was ten and a 
PLAYBOY fan since І was 20. I went out 
and bought Kiss: The Second Coming (a 
must-see video) when the March issue of 
pLaveov, featuring the band, arrived. 
The photos (The Girls of Kiss) are imagi- 
native and gorgeous. Kiss has bridged 
the generation gap with their music (my 
kids love them, too). 


Carolyn Beitz 
Dayton, Texas 


I'm a huge fan of Kiss and an even 
bigger PLAYBOY fan. I own every issue of 
the magazine from 1976 to the present. 
Imagine my excitement when I opened 
the March issue and found myself pic- 
tured in the Kiss feature. I'm in опе of 
the live shots from the concert on No- 
vember 12, 1998 at Fleet Center іп Bos- 
ton. This is a dream come truc. 

Walter Kieseling 
Dedham, Massachusetts 


1 can't understand why ғ.лувоу would 
take so many beautiful women and cover 
their faces with horrible makeup so they 
resemble an old, washed-up band trying 
to get attention. I used to like Kiss, but 
it's time for them to give it up. 

Andy Brenner 

Chicago, Illinois 


As a Kiss veteran, І thoroughly en- 
joyed the feature. Ihe band is still kick- 
ing and the girls are hot. 

Joe Di Martino 

Huntington Beach, California 


Гус been a Kiss fan since puberty and 
Гуе enjoyed two nostalgic concerts since 
their reunion. But, no matter how much 
I enjoy пілувоу and Kiss, their pairing 
couldn't have been more ill conceived 
Near naked women in Kiss makeup just 
doesn’t work. 


CAREY ON, DREW 
rLaysoy scores double points for find- 

ing a guy in showbiz who can't tell a lic. I 

love the Drew Carey interview (March) 

because I can relate to all the highs and 

lows he has experienced in life. 
Anndrea Paulson 
Minneapolis, Minnesota 


Does Drew Carey get paid every time 
he says, “І love to eat pussy"? 
Randy Reinacher 
Ogden, Utah 


On behalf ofall the dysfunctional, self- 
esteem impaired, beer-bellied average 
joes of the world who chase strippers to 
validate our manhood, thanks for the 
Drew Carey interview. Hes our man. 

Carl White 
Atlanta, Georgia 


There's no reason a gorgeous, sexy, 
sweet guy like Drew should ever haye to 
eat at McDonald's or Denny's again. Tell 
him to look me up the next time he's in 
Baltimore. I'll make sure he gets a terrif 
ic home-cooked meal, a chance to see 
Albert Belle again and anything else 
he wants. 

Beth Woodell 
Baltimore, Maryland 


I would trade a six-pack stomach for 
Drew's pony-keg tummy any day. I've al- 
ways thought he was funny as hell, but to 
find out he's so down-to-earth makes me 
love him that much more. 

Leta Whitehead 
Midlothian, Virginia 


AMERICA RULES 

In response to John Cleese's quote in 
Raw Data (March), here's why I think 
Americans are superior to Brits: 

(1) We saved their bacon twice—in 
World War І and World War II. 

(2) We don't have hordes of punks 
running through the streets beating and 

illing fans of opposing soccer teams. 


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PLAYBOY 


(3) We have PLAYBOY magazine and 
Marilyn Monroe. 
William Beck 
Raleigh, North Carolina 


FIREWATER 
How could John Rame write an article 
on premium vodkas (Cold Gold, Febru- 
ary) and not mention Belvedere? This 
Polish vodka is made from rye and is dis- 
tilled four times. The distilling creates a 
crisp and clean taste, and there's no nas- 
ty hangover 
Dan Ballinger 
Alameda, California 


NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS 
Celine Dion is a talented singer, but 1 
can't believe she was voted Female Rock 
Vocalist of the Year (The Year in Music, 
March). Next thing we'll see is Ethel Mer: 
man being inducted into the Rock and 
Roll Hall of Fare. 
Kirk Anderson 
Pennsauken, New Jersey 


RED HOT 
I'm delighted that you have chosen a 
sexy redhead, Alexandria Karlsen, to be 
Miss March (Investing With Lexie). She's 
smart and successful, and she knows 
what she wants. Lexie is the perfect 
woman 
Daniel Kunkle 
Omaha, Nebraska 


Alexandria Karlsen is the clear choice. 
for Playmate of the Year, the decade and 
the millennium. My roommate almost 
had an embolism when he saw her pic- 


tures. [ust keep bringing us those s 
young redheads. 

Neal Grant. 

San Luis Obispo, California 


Lexie is an archetype for today's Amer- 
ican woman. She's not afraid to explore 


her varied interests—writing, finance, 
education and modeling. It’s great that 
she can balance and blend Wall Street 
and ап. 
Giovanni Continelli 
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 


I love redheads, and Lexie takes the 
саттоцор cake. Thanks for making this 
my favorite pictorial 


Gas City, Indiana 


BEAUTY AND THE BEASTIES 
I'm a new PLAYBOY subscriber, and the 
March issue was my first. 1 loved reading 
about the trials and tribulations of the 
Beastie Boys (Beastie Boys to Beastie Men) 
I'm thrilled that PLAYBOY has taken no- 
ісе of the Boys and how their music has 
evolved. When Adam, Mike and Adam 
speak, millions listen. You can tell by 
listening to their music that the Beast- 
ic Boys have grown up, and I want to 
thank them for helping me grow up, too. 
Colin Sim 
Barrie, Ontario 


BUBBLING OVER 

While 1 agree with Christopher Byron 
(Money Matters, March) that technology 
stocks, particularly Internet stocks, are 
out of control, I think he makes some 
faulty assumptions. He says that "rough- 
ly 33 percent of all American households 


am Huck Finn. —= 


"inn.on а 135-horsepower raft. 


Just think of all the spots on the map you always wished you could explore. Now. stop thinking, and go. The SUV is a truly innova- 
tive way to get there. Storage compartments are ingeniously integrated into the boat's design. Flip them open and you can stow 
your gear deep into the hull. Skis, а wakeboard, even a folding beach umbrella - all told, it can сату up to 660 pounds, including 
yourself and three explorer friends. And with more than 18 gallons of fuel capacity, you don't have to come back till you say so. 


have already signed up for Internet 
use,” but his numbers are way off. Ву- 
ron ignores the multiple Internet-access 
factors of work and school. His one- 
account-per-houschold and one-user- 
per-account assumptions are off by a fac- 
tor of at least three nationally. From this 
he projects a bursting bubble in 19 to 
18 months. It's sure to happen, but By- 
ron's timing is not accurate. Saturation is 
much farther away than he concludes. 
Don Bouchard 
Houston, Texas 


REPORTER'S NOTEBOOK 
1 concur with John Dean that the in- 
dependent counsel law should be abol- 
ished (Let's Kill the Independent Counsel, 
March). Perhaps the legacy of this coun- 
sel will be added to other American ral- 
lying cries—from Remember the Alamo, 
the Maine and Pearl Harbor to Ken Starr 
and the House managers. 
Tom Steinfeld 
Hartsdale, New York 


HAIL, HAIL, ROCK AND ROLL 

They Can't Kill Rock and Roll, but They're 
Trying (March) by Dave Marsh is filled 
with the kind of information my friends 
and I often disc The Nineties have 
been pretty hostile toward hard rock 
and heavy metal. Maybe that's why rec- 
ord companies are being swallowed up. I 
say let them be, and let's watch indepen- 


dent labels pick up the decent material 
out there. Maybe then the music will get 
better. 
Darrell Wright 
Livingston, Texas 


Elvis, the Spice Girls, Hollywood, Mu- 
sic Row, Beale Street—critic Dave Marsh 
knows the music biz. He's been there. As 
an indie label owner and artist, І appre- 
сіме his valuable insight. 

Bryan Burchfield 
Fultondale, Alabama 


MOODY RUDY 
Mayor Rudolph Guiliani (Rudy's Rules, 
March) and his kind are half of what's 
wrong with America. The people who 
vote for them make up the other half. 
Marc Hiesrodt 
Tekonsha, Michigan 


THE SPORTING LIFE 

1 agree with many of the points Keith 
Olbermann makes in So, Whal Have You 
Done for Us Lately? (March), but I take 
umbrage at his characterization of Mark 
McGwire's use of androstenedione. Is he 
implying that McGwire has only warn- 
ing-track power without andro? If so, 
what sport has he been watching? Mc- 
Gwire hit 49 homers as a rookie, long be- 
fore he began taking andro. The fact 
is, he can use any legal performance- 
enhancing supplement he chooses. Last 


summer, I saw McGwire not as an athlete 
embroiled in a controversy, but as one 
who saved the sport with grace, humility 
and respect. If Olbermann can't remem- 
ber that far back, he should try a memo- 
ry-enhancing supplement. 

Bobby Allen 

Las Cruces, New Mexico 


DATING DISASTERS 
After reading Myles Berkowitz’ article 

Dating Disasters, and How to Avoid Them 
(February), | wanted to share my experi- 
ences with PLAYBOY readers. There was 
a lot of humor and sadness in my dat- 
ing disasters. I tried dating services, the 
personals, even asking friends to fix me 
up- But doing all those things taught me 
what I didn't want. There are good men 
and women out there; mine happened 
to be right under my nose. 

Sarah Parker 

Hyannis, Massachusetts 


BAD JOKE 

It is distasteful of PLavaoy to publish a 
joke (Party Jokes, March) about the presi- 
dent’s daughter. You can attack him, but 
leave her out of it. Children don't choose 
their parents. 


Darlene Trumble 
Newark, Texas 


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PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS 


THE PEN IS MIGHTY 


Before Lorena Bobbitt turned her 
husband into lunch meat, The New York 
Times had printed the word penis only 
three times in 20 years. Author Maggie 
Paley uses this example of the word's 
coming out party as an opportunity for 
extensive exploration of the male organ 
in The Book of the Penis (Grove). Though 
she sometimes writes as if half her po- 
tential readers don't own one, she gener- 
ally hits the subject on the head—partic- 
ularly in her discussions of history. Some 
examples: A gavone who wears a gold 
Italian fist-and-finger around his neck 
may be surprised to learn that the charm 
is based on the early Roman cock-and- 
balls amulet. Once upon a time, a bris 
involved snipping only a piece of the 
kin—the penis on Michelangelo's 
David is an example of once-standard 
Jewish circumcision. Padded codpieces 


fore: 


may have been less of a fashion state- 
ment and more of a way to keep mer. 
cury-based syphilis creams from soiling 
expensive fabrics. And editrices at wom 
en's mags may find it interesting to learn 
the word glamour comes from a me- 
dieval witches spell to rid men of their 
favorite magic wands. 


MEDICINE BALL 


From researchers at Wilkes University 
in Pennsylvania comes good news and 
bad. The good news is that people who 
engage in sex once or twice a week pro- 
duce “substantially higher levels” of im- 
munoglobulin A, a key disease-fighting 
antibody, than those who couple less fre- 
quently. The bad news is that the health 
benefits of sex peak at twice weekly, with 
antibody levels declining at higher fre- 
quencies. On the other hand, Hef's look- 
ing pretty good 


DUNG НО 


king the recycling effort further 
than we would care to go is a book cur- 
rently marketed as a Y2K survival aid 
Humanure Handbook. Ws all about how to 
convert your own bodily waste into fer- 
tilizer compost 


FAMILY TRAILER COURT 


An Ohio man was arraigned on first- 
degree sodomy charges after a woman 
testified that she awoke one evening in 
her trailer home to find him performing 
oral sex on her. The Ohioan's excuse? 
He was drunk, and he tripped and fell 
into the woman's bed, his lawyer argued, 
and had mistaken her trailer for his sis- 
ter's next door. 


CLUELESS 


Smith College president Ruth Sim- 
mons is fed up with the Hurry of likes, 
you knows, І means and other slang that 
is bandied about in campus classrooms 
Last fall, according to the Boston Globe, 
Simmons introduced "Speaking Across 
the Curriculum," a program that adds 
speaking requirements and an under- 
standing of rhetoric to the undergradu- 
ate course load. Mount Holyoke, MIT 
Wesleyan and other schools are follow- 
ing suit. According to dismayed alumni 
who have conducted job interviews with 
recent graduates, the scourge of mall- 
speak, as Simmons calls it, extends be- 
yond the campus. “It's minimalist, it's re- 


ductionist, it's repetitive, it's imprecise, 
it’s inarticulate, it's vernacular,” Sim- 
mons railed. “It drives me crazy.” Like, 
whatever 


THE FARTHEST SHORELINE 


From the land of Oz. A reader com- 
menting in The Sydney Morning Herald on 
President Clinton's troubles last fall 
wrote: "Thank God we got the convicts 
and they got the Puritans." 


DION TO GET IN 


Ло those who say they'd listen to Ce- 
line Dion only over their own dead bod- 
ies, consider this: A British funeral chain 
conducted a survey of music played at 
funerals last year. Dion's My Heart Will 
Go On ranked as number one. 
who wanted to be buried like a princess 
made Sir Elton John's Candle in ihe Wind 
number two. Bette Midler rounded out 
the top three with Wind Beneath My 
Wings, which was featured in the tear- 


Those 


jerking funeral scene from Beaches 


MARQUEE TRIM 


From the new frontiers in censorship 

le: Tickets for the theatrical metal band 
Nashville Pussy's current tour read NASH 
VILLE PsSY ALL AGES WELCOME 


WHAT A DIFFERENCE A BAY MAKES 


Nothing captures the difference be- 
tween San Francisco and Oakland better 
than the decision of the Oakland City 
Council—with the urging of the Ameri- 
can Academy of Child and Adolescent 
Psychiatry—to formally consider becom- 
ing the country's first official No Spank- 
ing Zone. The proposal was defeated 
Meanwhile, in San Francisco a good 
spanking will still cost you at least $50. 


CRAPO-LOTT REVISITED 


More evidence that Congress fails to 
think things through: It named the bill 
that bans federal funding of human 
embryo research after its two authors. 
The result? A law concerning reproduc- 
tive freedom called the Dickey-Wicker 
Amendment. 


23 


RAW DATA 


SIGNIFICA, INSIGNIFIC | SIGNIFICA, INSIGNIFICA, STATS AND FACTS | AND FACTS 


QUOTE 
"Drugs taught an 
entire generation of 
kids the metric sys- 
tem."—PJ. O'ROURKE 


SEMPER FIDELITY 

Number of years 
401(k)s have been in 
existence: 21. Total 
number of 401(k) 


Number of partici- 
pants in Fidelity In- 
vestments’ 401(k) 
plans: 5.3 million. 
Number of new par- 
ticipants added to Fi- 
delity accounts last 
ycar: 701,000. Num- 
ber of Fidelity 401(k) 
participants who 
have balances of 
$1 million or more: 
10,000. Total amount of money in 
40109: $1 trillion. Total amount pro- 
jected for 2002: $1 9 trillion. Average 
balance in Fidelity 401(k) accounts: 
$52,000. 


TO PEE OR NOT TO PEE 

Average number of gallons of water 
used per flush of a toilet: 2.5. Num- 
ber of gallons of water a person can 
conserve every year by urinating out- 
side once a day: 912. Number of cubic 
feet of water that can be conserved if 
a quarter of all American men saved 
one flush per day: 4.5 billion. 


LEO VS. THE LION 

High bid at the Hollywood Сойес- 
tor's Ransom Five auction for the 
Wizard of Oz’ Cowardly Lion costume: 
$250.000. High bid for Michael Kea- 
ton's Batman outfit: $60,000. High bid 
for Leonardo DiCaprio's shirt from 
Titanic: $10,000. 


MAINLY IN THE PLAINS 
Number of Red Lobster restau- 
rants in the state of Maine: 0. 


HEADWEAR AND CHILDREN FIRST 

According to Boating magazine, 
percentage of boat owners who would 
not jump overboard to save their 


FACT OF THE MONTH 
The Canadian government 
agreed to spend as much as 
$40,000 on medical bills for a 
soldier who wanted to have a 
sex-change operation. 


spouses: 13. Percent- 
age who would dive 
into the drink to save 
a hat: 25. 


PORK CHOPPERS 

Percentage decline 
in the price farmers 
received for pork 
from 1997 to 1998: 
39. Percentage de- 
cline in retail price 
for consumers: 1.5 


HARD CHARGERS 

Percentage of the 
credit card industry 
controlled by Visa 
and MasterCard: 75. 
Total owed to Visa 
in 1997 on U.S. ac- 
counts: $233.6 bil- 
lion. Total owed to 
MasterCard on U.S. 
accounts: $161 bil- 
lion. Total owed to American Ex- 
press: $14.6 billion. 


BABE WATCH 
Number of countries in which the 
television show Rugrats is broadcast: 
70. Number of languages into which 
it is translated: 16. Number of years 
Rugrats has been on TV: 7. 


BIG AND BIGGER BUSINESS 
Of the 10 largest U.S. corporate 
mergers in history, number that took 
place in 1998: 10. 


BENCHMARKS 
Of the 498 law clerks hired by the 
current піве justiccs of the Supreme 
Court, number of blacks: 8. Of the 
approximately 550 hockey players in 
the NHL, number of blacks: 9. 


SHOPPING MAUL 
Percentage of violent crimes at 
malls that occur in parking lots: 80. 


SHELL GAME 
Number of Americans who are al- 
lergic to nuts: 2 million. Likelihood 
that a child will inherit an allergy if 
one parent has it: 30 percent. If two 
parents share it: 60 percent. 
— PAUL ENGLEMAN 


VAN GO 


French automaker PSA Peugeot 
гоёп caused a stir when it announced 
that it “paid heavily for r 
new minivan the Picasso. Many people 
in the art world regard this as blasphemy 
and have condemned it. People in the 
automotive world are just hoping it 
doesn't mean that both headlights will be 
on the same side. 


SENATOR=TREASON 


At last, real hidden meaning surfaces 
in Washington. An anagram for Moni- 
ca Lewinsky is “nice silky woman.” And 
“President Clinton of the USA” becomes 
“То copulate he finds interns.” 


BRILUS CONTENT 


Ever notice how the audience at Late 
Night With David Letterman is up even 
when Dave isn’t? Thank warm-up шап 
Eddie Brill. A successful comedian, Brill 
fluffs up the out-of-town crowd with 
New York patois. In ief instrucuon- 
al he veers from “У о "jokes 
that suck" to "bull The giddy 
crowd roars at his insouciance (honed 
regularly at Caroline's Comedy Club). 
Brill is equally candid with Letterman. 
"Once Dave asked Sophia Loren, whom 
he loves, if she got any grab-ass on the 
set ofa movie," says Brill. "At the break I 
looked at him and said, ‘Grab-ass, Dave? 
and he just cracked up." Stay awake and 
you may catch Brill's next televised ap- 
pearance on the show. The last time, he 
talked about a dream when he was in a 
movie with Gene Hackman. tried to 
get De Niro but he was too expensive. So 
I have a three-dream deal with Hack- 
man. It's for two afternoon naps and a 
nightmare.” 


GIMME SHELTER. 


The new catalog from New York's 
Boym Design Studio is out. One of our 
favorite product lines is the Buildings of 
Disaster collection. lt features ^ 
ture replicas of famous structures where 


to take place." Each building weighs 
around one and a half pounds and is cast 
in heavy, bonded nickel. АП are hand- 
finished and numbered and cost $100 
each. You can take your pick of such 
structures as the Chernobyl plant, the 
Oklahoma City Federal Building and the 
Unabomber shack. May ме sugg 
ing the Capitol Building, the 
bor relations office and any stu 
has shot a Pauly Shore movie 


PENNYWISE PENTAGON 


Never mind the Department of De- 
fense's history of paying for platinum- 
priced hardware. Its official website is 
now pushing the booklet Dollars and 
Cents: The DOD's Guide lo Managing Your 
Finances. 


Contradiction | 


balms away. 
yours for only $50.00 from 
the CONTRADICTION FOR MEN 


fragrance collection. 


while quantities lost 


Contradiction 
foi теп 


Contradiction 


formen 


alter shove relief balm 
ете oprès rosoge ороо 
alcohol free/sons alcool 


Calvin Klein 7 T 


Controdiction 
formen 


Calvin Klein 


MOVIES 


By LEONARD MALTIN 


ALTHOUGH тг saddled with an inappro- 
priate title, Besieged (Fine Line) lives up 
to Bernardo Bertolucci's reputation for 
striking, original entertainment, In this 
fable, spun by Clare Peploe and Berto- 
lucci, African immigrant Thandie New- 
ton is working as a maid for a rechusive 
English pianist (David Thewlis) at his 
townhouse in Rome while studying for a 
medical degree. He is smitten by her, but 
she pays no attention to his advances, be- 
ing much too absorbed in her own life 
and in the haunting memories of her 
husband, an outspoken schoolteacher 
imprisoned in Nairobi. She doesn't even 
respond to Thewlis beautiful music be- 
cause she can't relate to the European 
classics he favors. Ultimately, he decides 
to prove his love for her in the only way 
he can—and she does her best to pre- 
tend it isn't happening. To reveal more 
would spoil the surprise and spontaneity 
of this film. Bertolucci isn't afraid of si- 
lence—in fact, much of the film's expos- 
itory scenes play without dialogue—and 
he uses a kinetic editing style with often 
overlapping shots to good effect. The re- 
sult is stimulating and satisfying. The 
two lead actors are superb. ¥¥¥ 


Winner of both the Audience Award 
and the Grand Jury Prize at this ycar's 
Sundance Film Festival is Tony Bui's de- 
but feature, Three Seasons (October). This 
fascinating look at life in modern-day 


Why are movies so damn long? 
Some directors tell me it's because 
studios impose unrcalistic deadlines 
on their postproduction schedules. 
While rushing their films to comple- 
tion, they don't have time to step bacl 


Newton and Thewlis in a Bertolucci moment. 


Searing satire, 
cult cinema, 
revisiting a classic. 


Vietnam weaves together the stories of a 
young woman who takes a job harvest- 
ing lotuscs for a reclusive poct, a street 
urchin who peddles his wares to tourists 
while remaining invisible to others, a 
tranquil bicycle-taxi driver whe becomes 
enamored of a good-looking prostitute, 
and an American ex-Marine (Harvey 


telling time, such as The Ten Command- 
ments and Gone With the Wind. Time 
flew by when I watched Spike Lee’s 
Malcolm X and Mel Gibson’s Braveheart. 

More troubling than the rare three- 
hour epic is the two-hour film that 


E SHOW MUST GO ON 


take a deep breath and review their 
work with a fresh eye. 

In other cases, studios seem unwill- 
ing to get the filmmakers to compro- 
mise. If they've ceded final cut to the 
director—as Universal did with Martin 
Brest on Meet Joe Black—they re stuck. 
And so are we. Surely a filmmaker as 
savvy as Brest knew he was risking 
both audience endurance and box of- 
fice success by turning in a three-hour 
movie. Sources say he tried to trim the 
film but felt those excisions would cut 
the heart out of it. 

Testing a moviegoer's patience does 
not make sense. There are, however, 
stories that demand extended story- 


doesn’t know how to end. As Good as It 
Gets is a wonderful movie, but it does 
go on. І thought The Mask of Zorro was 
fun until it had to give us another 
chase, another climax, another villain's 
demise. 

When legendary producer Samu- 
el Goldwyn was asked, “How long is 
а good movie?” he answered: “How 
long is a movie good?” 

Even Clint Eastwood, who has made 
his share of films running two hours or 
more, says, “Most movies are probably 
too long. I think every movie has to 
find its own length, but on average, 
most movies are probably a beat or two 
too long; you think, Gee, it would have 


Keitel) who's come back to Vietnam in 
search of the daughter he left behind. If 
the setting were less exotic or intrinsical- 
ly compelling, some of the story and dia- 
logue would seem clichéd. But the nov- 
elty of the backdrop energizes the film. 
Bui, a Vietnamese American, has chron- 
ided the growing culture clash between 
the old world and the new, with an ur- 
ban culture dominated by expensive, 
air-conditioned high-rise hotels but also 
peopled by citizens who live and sleep 
on the streets below. ¥¥¥ 


Election (Paramount) is a smart, auda- 
cious comedy from director Alexander 
Payne, who adapted Тот Perrotta's nov- 
el in collaboration with Jim Taylor. If you 
saw Payne's Citizen Ruth you know that 
he has a penchant for satire, and one of 
his principal targets is earnestness. Like 
Ruth, this film takes place in the heart- 
land—Omaha, Nebraska. Matthew Brod- 
erick plays a nerdy high school teach- 
er and counselor who genuinely cares 
about shaping young minds. But one 
student—overeager, ferociously ambi- 
tious Tracy Flick (wonderfully portrayed 
by Reese Witherspoon)—gets under his 
skin, so much so that he encourages a 
nice but dull-witted jock to oppose her in 
the student council elect rom there, 
everything goes wrong. Dead-on in its 
portrayal of students and teachers alike, 
Election can seem cruel, but it may simply 
be precise. Proof lies in the fact that you 
don't dislike any of the people in the film, 


been nice if this had ended five or ten 
minutes ago." 

Titanic is the exception that proves 
the rule. James Cameron risked a 
great deal on his three-hour-plus epic, 
including potential income, since the- 
aters can't show a long film conve- 
niently tvice a night. As it happens, 
the whole world wanted to see his 
film—and happily sat through every 
frame. (Still, he fought to the end for 
an even longer version, including a 
sequence in which Billy Zane's out- 
raged character goes gunning after 
Leo and Kate.) 

To return to the original question, 
why are movies so long? 

Simon West, who directed Con Air 
and the upcoming The Generals Daugh- 
ter, says, “It just depends how power- 
ful a director is. The more powerful 
you are, the longer your movies are. 
So when I'm at the top of the tree, my 
movies will be about five or six hours 
long." Of course, West was just joking. 
I hope. —LM. 


25 


26 


OFF 
CAMERA 
“Besides hockey 
and baseball,” 
says Denis Leary, 
“acting was the 
only thing I 
was ever really 
interestei 


So it's no ассі- 
dent that the an- 
gry young man of 
comedy has turned 
out to be a highly 


L : Асіп 
capable actor with cave trato 


came first. 


of screen credits, including Suicide 
Kings, Wag the Dog, True Crime, A 
Bug's Life (as the tough-talking 
ladybug) and, forthcoming, The 
Thomas Crown Affair. 

Comedy was the accident in 
Leary's career; he was studying 
acting at Emerson College in 
Boston and tried it out as a lark. 
(Coincidentally, the writer of his 
first co-starring vehicle, The Ref, 
was former schoolmate Richard 
LaGravenese.) 

“Working onstage,” he says, 
"you're alive for those two hours 
and you're aware of where you 
have to go and huw tu get there. 
But in film it might be over the 
course of nine weeks that you 
have to keep in touch with all the 
emotions involved in a particular 
scene.” 

"I didnt know anything about 
acting on camera," Leary admits. 
“І was trained in the theater" But 
he felt safe in the hands of direc- 
tor Ted Demme, a friend who had 
already done Leary's notorious 
МТУ spots. 

Leary has written one film (Tivo 
if by Sea, co-starring Sandra Bul- 
lock, which turned out badly) and 
produced another (Monument Av- 
enue). But he's just as happy to 
work as an actor. 

"There are people who com- 
plain about the hours, but I used 
to work asa dishwasher in a greasy 
spoon, and Га have to be up at six 
o'clock. So getting up at six, com- 
ing here and having coffee and 
then hanging around with Rene 
Russo—it's not that tough." 

And if fans are surprised to wit- 
ness his blossoming career, he ad- 
mits, “It's all a surprise to me. 
From the first day on True Crime— 
every day—I would sit there and 
What am 1 doing in a room 
Clint Eastwood? It continues 
ім. 


but empathize instead. The film plays 
like a civics film turned inside out. ¥¥¥ 


Actress Joan (The Last Emperor, Twin 
Peaks) Chen has written and directed xiv 
Xiu: The Sent-Down Girl (Stratosphere), an 
interesting story about a bright-eyed girl 
who is sent with other city children to 
live and work in the country to narrow 
the disparity between the two cultures 
Тһе noble experiment is plagued Бу cor- 
ruption and mismanagement, and our 
һегоіле (beautifully played by 16-year- 
old Lu Lu) is left in utter isolation with 
an ostracized Tibetan herder and horse 
trainer (Lopsang). His kindness is as un- 
expected as the turn of events that trans- 
form the loyal and virginal Xiu Xiu. The 
atmosphere is rich, the performance 
strong; it's the resolution that leaves one 
wanting. But that doesn't mean the jour- 
ney is without interest. ¥¥/2 


The British import Get Real (Para- 
mount Classics), adapted by Patrick 
Wilde from his play What's Wrong With 
Angry?, is the heartfelt tale of a 16-year- 
old boy (Ben Silverstone) who's gay and 
tired of having to stifle his feelings in 
front of his schoolmates and parents. 
Matters get complicated when he falls in 
love with his school's leading jock (Brad 
Gorton), a handsome, populär boy who 
becomes intrigued by the prospect of a 
homosexual encounter. First-time fea- 
ture director Simon Shore too often 
plods when he ought to tread lightly, 
and an overstated musical score is no 
help. Get Real's depiction of adoles- 
cent pain is well wrought. ¥¥/2 


‘The ever-unpredictable David Mamet 
has chosen Terence Rattigan's durable 
play The Winslow Boy (Sony Pictures Clas- 
sics) as his latest film project. Dealing as 
much with repressed emotions and the 
mores of the day (1910 England) as with 
injustice, the drama offers some intrigu: 
ing parallels to contemporary society 
and the way a notorious trial is perceived 
by the public. The title character is a 13- 
year-old boy who is expelled from a Brit- 
ish naval academy for allegedly stealing 
a five-shilling postal money order. His 
father, convinced of his st innocence, 
determines to clear the boy's name. The 


film is fascinated with social order (in the 
Winslow household as well as England in 


general) and the pa 
career, courtship and income. Like many 
of Mamet's films, it's not particularly 
warm-blooded, though Nigel Haw- 
thorne's character certainly is as the dry 
and bemused but loving head of the 
Winslow family. Rebecca Pidgeon (Mrs. 
Мате!) is also good as his headstrong, 
suflragette daughter, and Jeremy North- 
am is dashing as the barrister who agrees 
to take the case. ¥¥¥ 


MOVIE SCORE CARD 


capsule close-ups of current films 
by Leonard maltin 


Besieged (Sce review) A delicate and 
inuiguing pas de deux for disparate 
characters, knowingly orchestrated 
by Bernardo Bertolucci. мум 
Clubland (5/99) A young man tries to 
crash the music scene in Los Angeles 
A Nineties film with its head in B 
movies of the past YY 
Cookie's Fortune (5/99) Robert Altman's 
savory gumbo about life, love and de- 
ceit in a small Southern town; cast 
includes Charles $. Dutton, Glenn 
Close, Liv Tyler, Julianne Moore and 
Chris O'Donnell. vv 
Ed TV (5/99) Ron Howard's all-too- 
credible (and entertaining) satire 
about a guy whose life is chronicled 
24 hours a day on TV. wy 
5mm (Listed only) Nicolas Cage is a 
private eye tracking down a snuff 
film; seamy and grim but not entirely 
believable. БЫЛ 
Election (See review) A dead-on satire 
about high school and over- and un- 
derachievers, and one teacher with a 
fatal Вам. wy 
eXistenZ (Listed only) Cronenberg's 
fans may get something out of this 
virtual-reality drama; others will get 
a headache. Y 
Get Real (Sce review) A flawed though 
interesting drama about a British 
schoolboy who has come to terms 
with being gay, and his latest lover, 
the school jock. К ТА 
бо (5/99) А hyperkinetic weekend in 
the lives of various scummy young 
people. ұу; 
Тһе Harmonists (5/99) Тһе compelling 
story of Germany's enormously pop- 
ular singing group of the Twenties 
and early Thirties and how it ran 
afoul of the Nazis. vu 
Three Seasons (See review) A fascinat- 
ing look at life in modern-day Saigon 
through several stories. vw 
True Crime (Listed only) Clint East- 
wood plays a burned-out reporter 
who has less than a day to savea man 
оп death row. ww 
20 Dates (Listed only) Actor-filmmak- 
er Myles Berkowitz chronicles his 
hunt for romance and somehow gets 
a movie made at the same time. ¥¥¥ 
The Winslow Boy (Scc revicw) David 
Mamers remake of the classic Ter- 
ence Rattigan play is worth seeing if 
only for Nigel Hawthorn 
performance 


s glorious 

vu 
eview) 
uing film, a Chi- 
nt to the country as 
part of a cultural exchange. Ya 


¥¥ Worth a look 
Y Forget it 


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¥¥¥ Good show 


Unconventional. 
г“ Unco on. | 


A legendary smoke. 
А Knowing choice. 
For those who value 
a full-bodied cigar 


28 


VIDEO 


"| love watching videos—particularly ro- 
mantic comedies—Iying on my couch, 
eating popcorn," says Matthew Perry of 
Friends. "My favorite movies include: An- 
nie Hall, because it is hysterical and was а 
little ahead of its time. It's a marvelous 
love story that | watched for the first time 
with my mom when І was eight. It’s a 
Wonderful Life is just the nicest place to 
be. And | don't think my love for Return to 
the Blue Lagoon needs to be explained. 
It's a classic.” — SUSAN KARUN 


AUSTIN'S ORIGINS 


"That swinging International Man of Mys- 
tery, Austin Powers (Mike Myers), is back 
in theaters in The Spy Who Shagged Me. 
But he didn't just thaw ош of a deep 
freeze alter 30 years. Here are the top- 
secret secrets to his zany ancestry. 

The Wrecking Crew (1968): Frec-loving 
Matt Helm (Dean Martin) is a photog- 
rapher for swanky Slaymate magazine 
(hmm) and a spy on the side. Sharon 
Tate, Tina Louise, Nancy Kwan and El- 
ke Sommer find him irresistible. Not 
a bad day's work. Fight scenes choreo- 
graphed by Bruce Lee. 

Casino Royale (1967): This bizarre paro- 
dy of the early James Bond sagas stars 
Woody Allen as neurotic Jimmy Bond 
facing the evil forces of Smersh. Score 
by Burt Bacharach, who has a cameo in 
Austin Powers: Intemational Man of Mystery 
Our Man Flint (1965): Austin Powers "fem- 
bots” were inspired by the brainwashed 
army of Amazons here. Suave ladies- 
man Derek Flint (James Coburn) has a 
secret code number we would like to 
crack: 40-24-36. 

The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (1964-1968): Na- 
poleon Solo (Robert Vaughn) and Illya 
Kuryakin (David McCallum) brought so 
phistication to prime time as the infalli- 
ble boys from the United Network Com- 
mand for Law and Enforcement. Look 
out, Thrush! Twenty-two episodes of this 
ultracool TV series are on tape. 

Carry On Spying (1964): The masterminds 
behind Stench (the Society for the To- 
tal Extinction of Non-Conforming Hu- 
mans) are foiled by amateur spies in 
their plot to steal a secret formula. One 


of the group in this sexy farce is James 
Bind, Agent 006%. We like the alternate 
title better: Agent Oooh! 

Come Spy With Me (1967): Yet another spy 
spoof, this one with the DiCaprio of his 
day, Troy Donahue, in the Caribbean. 
Smokey Robinson riffs on the Sinatra-ri 
theme song. — BUZZ MCCLA 


VIDBITS 


You know in your heart you should be 
familiar with the oeuvres of Truffaut, 
Wertmüller, Godard, Rohmer and the 
Taviani brothers. But classic foreign 
films come and go at the local art house 
faster than a noon quickie—if your town 
even has an art house. Help is here: This 
year the World Class Cinema Collection (Fox 
Lorber; $20 to $30 cach) will issue more 
ıhan 50 time-honored films from great 
dircctors, many for the first timc on 
DVD, including six early Ingrid Berg- 
man gems in Swedish. Now you can find 
out what The 400 Blows is all about.—R.M. 


DISC ALERT 


Points in the paint: Award them to Im- 
agc Entertainment for releasing Stephen 
Sondheim's musical Sundey in the Park 
With George. The production, shot for 
PBS in 1986, features original stars Man- 
dy Patinkin and Bernadette Peters (with 
commentary from both), and is arriv- 
ing on laser ($50) and DVD ($30). Sond- 
heim and James Lapine, director of the 
stage production, also turn up on the 


OF TH 
MONTH 
Can't remember if 
you had a good 
time during spring 
break? Perhaps 
Spring Break Un- N 
censored (TML, E 
888-312-1112) TU c 
will jog your mem- AN bo 
ory. Watch col- Я 

lege kids getting 

drunk, participat- «тшш 
ing in simulated-sex 

competitions and generally acting like the 
leaders of tomorrow. Think of this as the 
party version of a high-speed car chase. 
It's as funny as Cops and as uplifting as 
Jerry Springer—and much sexier. 


supplemental audio track, Apologies to 
Uma Thurman, but the jumpsuit that 
launched a thousand libidos is coming to 


DVD. All 162 episodes of The Original 
Avengers, the wry and beloved British TV 
series that inspired last year's painful 
Thurman-Fiennes big-screen bomb, will 
he released hy ASF Home Video ($45 
for a two-episode disc; $25 for a single 
disc). Episodes featuring Diana Rigg as 
Miss Peel (they caused a stir when first 
aired in 1967) are the first discs out. No 
extras, but who needs any? 

—GREGORY Р FAGAN 


Enemy of the State (goad Will, hunted; buppie Smith has a 
tape the bad guys want, and techie Hackmen soves his butt), 
The Siege (terrorists toy with New York os Bruce the general 
ond Denzel the fed endeavor to stop them; tense, if tao PC). 


Celebrity (с gotham scribe painfully pursues it; Bronagh is 
weird as Woody, but Charlize Theron is a model model), 
Waking Ned Divine (lottery win stops old Ned's heart, and his 
Irish village plats to keep the laot; call it Local Dead Hero). 


Elizabeth (Cate Blanchett is с 16th century virgin queen, the 
original ball-buster; great palace politics), Velvet Goldmine 
(two of glom-rock's gender-bending elite bong the gong, 
etc.; a wild, if empty, celebrotian of sexual exploration). 


Babe: Pig in the City (the other white meat meets Mean 
Streets; George [Mod Мах] Miller's secand dip in this well is 
а mischievous treat), A Bug’s Life (the Toy Story wizards put 
оп entomological spin on Seven Samurai; you'll rewind often). 


Very Bad Things (a stag party is pooped by impaled hooker, 
then it gets nasty; great gonzo tums by Comeran Diaz and 
Christian Slater), Ringmaster (Jerry Springer os о doytime-TV 
sleaze king; mack backstage stary feels like the real thing). 


RAP 


IN THIS AGE of Monica, Bill and Oval 
Office sex, rapper Foxy Brown doesn't 
seem quite so nasty. And that's a good 
thing artistically. Chyna Doll (Def Jam) is 
the 19-year-old's follow-up to the plat- 
inum ЛІ Na Na. While it's still sexually 
frank, Chyna Doll contains some surpris- 
ing introspection. My Life is an homage 
to a similarly titled Mary J. Blige song 
It describes her childhood, including a 
dismissive look at her father (“I didn't 
ask to be born/Dum dum/Shoulda used 
а condom") and hypocrisy (“Catchin' 
cases/Spittin' in faccs/T'm a woman so 
I'm a bitch/Double standard /Call him a 
mack, call me a ho"). On /ob, a hip-hop. 
interpretation of the old dance classic 
Ain't Nothin' Goin' On But the Rent, she de- 
mands her lover work harder—finan- 
cially and sexually. With longtime collab- 
orator Jay-Z, she executes a robbery on 
Bonnie and Clyde Part II. Foxy drives into. 
the sexual battleground between men 
and women with both obscenity and can- 
dor. For some, she might be scary, but 
she does make catchy pop records. 

2Pac: Greatest Hits (Interscope) again 
raises the question: Is Тарас alive? Not 
only do his hits still have great vitality 
but many of his previously unreleased 
tracks are as intense as anything being 
made by living artists. But the mytholo- 
gy that surrounds him does answer the 
question of who is rap's Elvis and James 
Dean. The answer is found in this essen- 
tial collection. — NELSON GEORGE 


ROCK 


Worshiped in San Francisco for his 
guitar virtuosity, Tommy Castro throws a 
bit more rock and two bits of soul into 
his basic blues mix on Right As Rein (Blind 
Pig). He has the voice, the band and the 
guitar to pull it off. Does he have the 
cathartic exuberance to extricate his au- 
dience from their own blues? I'm here 
to testify that his sandpaper howl and 
Stratocaster sting do the trick. His vocal 
duet with Delbert McClinton on an old 
Sam and Dave song, Don't Turn Your Heat- 
er Doum, has to be the best Sam and Dave 
since the originals. Unlike the dozens of 
neo-Stevie Ray Vaughans on the blues 
circuit, Castro has the taste and self-as- 
surance to allow other musicians their 
moments. His guitar solos stand out be- 
cause you get them in tasteful dollops. 

On the other hand, massive assaults of 
especially when 
with a feel for 
blues-based metal, can be pretty cool. It 
is especially cool to those of us who 
learned to obliterate our problems to the 
tunes of the great Sixties power trios. 
Gov't Mule offers such an assault on 


ІШ: —3 3 
Foxy's not-so-fragile Chyna Doll. 


Foxy is X-rated, Imperial 
Teen bends gender and 
Gov't Mule kicks. 


their two-disc Live With a Little Help From 
Our Friends (Capricorn). And they don't 
skimp on the interminable: The longest 
song, Afro Blue, a Mongo Santamaria 
composition made famous by John Col- 
trane, lasts almost 30 minutes. So pack a 
lunch. All your favorite riffs get ham- 
mered for an average of ten minutes 
apiece. Gov't Mule really knows how to 
hammer, 一 CHARLES M. YOUNG 


On éNo? (Rudeballs, chizmosos.com), 
Lil’ Rudy G. and the Chizmosos repre- 
sent Chicano pop at its most loco and lu- 
cid. ¿No? contains everything from solil- 
quies on street life, jail and drugs to a 
protest against Santa, who's been ignor- 
ing the barrio. Its highlight is Cannibal’s 
Eulogy, a history of Cannibal and the 
Headhunters and their Land of 1000 Danc- 
es. Green Bubble hilariously recounts what 
happens when cultural pride reaches the 
border. The music ranges from punk to 
Joe Cuba, Hippy Hippy Shake to Afro- 
Latin swing. ёМо? is roots music at its 
smartest and funniest, even if you don't 
know how to pony like bony maronie. 

—DAVE MARSH 


Imperial Teen make no bones about 
their gender bending. “Why you gotta 
be so proud?/I'm the one with lipstick 
on,” sings “looped on estrogen” Roddy 
Bottum, who used to play keyboards for 
Faith No More. He leads this outfit on 
guitar and vocals. “You're fucking movie 
stars,” and “I'm fucking congressmen” 


are lines from different songs on What Is 
Nor to Love (Slash). Imperial Teen think 
they're saying something new, which 
makes it possible to enjoy this disc. 
Sleater-Kinney, the female trio led by 
Corin Tucker and Carrie Brownstein, 
never sounds bored. But Cadallaca's In- 
troducing Cadallaca (K Records), on which 
Tucker leads a hard-to-resist pop trio 
drenched in cheesy organ, suggests that 
the secret of Tucker's freshness isn't her 
sexuality. She has too much musi her 
to hold back. The fourth Sleater-Kinney 
album, The Hot Rock (Kill Rock Stars), is 
slightly less intense and direct than the 
first two, so maybe Tucker's side project 
diminished her strength a little. But 
Brownstein has always been almost as 


| big a presence in this band, whose vocal 


trade-offs and no-bass guitar cross talk 
generate enormous drive. These rebels 
can rock. —ROBERT CHRISTGAU 


Jeff Beck, along with fellow Yardbird 
alumni Jimmy Page and Eric Clapton, 
practically invented modern rock guitar. 
And next to Hendrix, he may be the 
most innovative one of all. Even so, he 
avoided commercial career moves in fa- 
vor of offbeat experimentation. Some 
found his legendary Seventies fusion al- 
bums such as Wired and Blow by Blow daz- 
zling. Others agreed with Pete Town- 
shend when he dissed Beck as the most 
expressive player in rock—with nothing 
to express. Who Else! (Epic), Beck's first 
album of original materi: a decade, is 
the radiant blend of technique and feel- 
ing that fans and critics have been wait- 
ing for. From cutting-edge techno to Del- 
ta blues, he wrings tones out of his guitar 
that sound as if they were beamed in by 
UFOs—especially on the frenzied Space 
for the Papa, which features a vocal loop 
by Chrissie Hynde. And on Angel (Foot- 
steps) and Declan, he plays with an aching 
passion and sensuality that makes Who 
Else! a moving experience. 

In my February item about U2: The 
Best of 1980-1990, I wrote that U9's best 
work in the Eighties was actually found 
on Under a Blood Red Sky and on their 
1987 masterpiece, The Joshua Tree. The 
last bit was scrambled, replacing The Josh- 
ua Tree with Wide Awake in America. The 
good news is that now Island has issued 
a mini-CD containing U2's tart recent 
single, The Sweetest Thing, plus two su- 
perb, previously unreleased live tracks 
from the same Under a Blood Red Sky con- 
cert we recommended. 

I never thought the death of Jerry 
Garcia meant the end of the Grateful 
Dead. They still had plenty of untapped 
potential. In 1998 the remaining mem- 
bers of the band, minus Bill Kreutzman, 
went on tour as the Other Ones. They 
added part-time keyboard member 


30 


FAST TRACKS 


Garbarini 
4 8 7 22 9 
7 4 8 6 7 
Tommy Castro 
Right As Roin 4 7 8 4 i 
John Wesley 
Hording 
Trod Arr Jones 7 
Imperial Teen 
What Is Not ta Love 8 5 


PENNIES FROM HEAVEN DEPARTMENT: Did 
you hear about the Silicon Valley law- 
yer who wrote Ү2К, the song? Sung 
to the tune. of the Village People's 
YMCA, it begins, "Young man, might 
your server go down?" The chorus in- 
cludes: “Y2K, І just can't wait for that 
Y9K. At the New Year's Eve bash, can 
1 access my cash? Or will the АТМ 
state I’m 100 years too late?" Song- 
writer Bruce Kerr says that with Inter- 
net access he doesn't need a record la- 
bel. just a computer. 

REELING AND ROCKING: Look for No 
Mercy front man Morty Cintron in Neon 
Dreams, with music provided by his 
band.... Jason Priestley has been work- 
ing on a documentary about Bare- 
naked Ladies that will air in the fall. . 
Joni Mitchell shot a ИН Storytellers and 
is thinking about a big-band jazz-stan- 
dards album. . . . Master P. has teamed 
up with Chris Blackwell for a prison dra- 
ma, Lock Down. . . - Brittany Murphy (the 
voice of Luanne on King of the Hill) 
will play Janis Joplin in the Piece of My 
Heart bio. 

NEWSEREAKS: Woodstock 99, the 30th 
anniversary of the real thing, is sched- 
uled for July 23-25 in Rome, New 
York. No word yet on the lineup. - 
R.E.M^s world tour kicks off in the U. 
August 9 at the Greek Theater in Los 
Angeles. . . . Crosby, Stills, Nash and 
Young are set for a 25th anniversary 
tour and, of course, a new album. 
Sting has been honored on the Pacif- 
ic island Belau with his own postage 
stamp. ... The CD Michael Hutchence 
was working on at the time of his 
death will be released this month. . . . 
Rock and Rap Confidential is rccom- 
mending Blues for Dummies as a hu- 
morous and complete overview of the 
blues, written by musicians, not crit- 
ics. It comes with a 12-song disc of the 
essentials. . . . We recently visited the 


Blues Heaven Foundation in the old 
2120 South Michigan Avenuc build- 
ing in Chicago that housed Chess Rec- 
ords. Everyone recorded there—Mud- 
dy, Bo Diddley, Chuck Berry (who lived 
in the basement one summer), Wi 
Dixon, Buddy Guy and even the Stones. 
Willie's daughter Shirli, who is in 
charge now, told us the plan. Aside 
from shoving visitors what's left of the. 
studio, the foundation provides blues 
musicians with health insurance, roy- 
alty information and other useful sup- 
port. Check it out when you're in 
Chicago. Phil Collins recorded his 
songs from the Tarzan movie in Ger- 
man, French, Spanish and Italian. 
Why? His voice is unmistakable. . 
Star Wars: Episode 1: The Phantom Men- 
ace, soon to be released by Sony Clas- 
sical, coincides wirh the opening of 
the movie and rcunites conductor 
John Williams and the London Symphony 
Orchestra. . . . Naughty by Nature's Treach 
has landed a role in HBO's series Oz. 
You'll see him in episodes this sum- 
тег... Master Р plans an interactive 
game and doll. ... When Bob Dylan 
and Paul Simon tour together this sum- 
mer, they'll do a few duets. Simon, 
who hasn't played live since 1991, 
may have his new album ready by 
then. . . . Chris Cornell, formerly of 
Soundgarden, has a debut solo CD out 
this month. . . . Beck is working on a 
new album. . . . One for the money, 
two for the show: As noted in our Kiss 
issue (March), glam rock is happening 
all over again, and an off-Broadway 
show has been packing them in. Hed- 
wig and the Angry Inch explores out- 
ragcous glam in the person of trans- 
sexual rocker Hedwig. Lou Reed, David 
Bowie and Marilyn Manson (see any link 
here?) have been to see it. Now it's 
coming to a movie screen near you 

— BARBARA NELLIS 


Bruce Hornsby and his drummer John 
Molo, plus Dave Ellis on reeds and two 
guitarists, Mark Karan and Steve Ki- 
mock. The Strange Remain (Arista), a two- 
CD live album from those outings, may 
well be the comeback of the decade. 
Karan and Kimock honor Garcia's fili- 
greed style, while adding a bluesy edge 
to some of the Dead's most challenging 
compositions, including St. Stephen, The 
Eleven and The Other One. Whatever they 
call themselves, this is easily the best 
Dead concert set since their legendary 
Europe 72 album. — VIC GARBARINI 


FOLK 


John Wesley Harding's Trad Arr Jones 
(Zero Hour) gives the current folk re- 
vival an essential it's lacked: an album of 
actual folk songs. Well, sort of. Harding, 
the self-styled gangsta folk performer, 
plays 11 songs based on traditional sourc- 
es. Sometimes, as on The Singer's Request, 
only the melody's evocative melancholy 
makes you certain there's a traditional 
song in there somewhere. Elsewhere, 
songwriter Nic Jones takes incredible 
liberties in rewriting ancient ballads: Zit- 
Ше Musgrave barely deviates from Matty 
Groves, for instance. The result is an al- 
bum filled with murder, mysticism, pas- 
sion and betrayal—all the gore and glory 
that has gone into such balladry since 
Chaucer. Harding isn't exactly taking a 
break, even though he didn't do any of 
the writing. Trad contains the most con- 
fident singing he's ever done. The new 
folk revival is probably better off with 
songs written for those who are going to 
have to learn to live in it. But there'd be 
no way to educate ourselves without the 
kind of bountiful, beautiful history that 
Trad Arr Jones displays so boldly. 

—DAVE MARSH 


CLASSICAL 


In the past year Gavin Bryars has 
made tremendous advances as a com- 
poscr. Best known for his string quartets, 
this British modernist has been working 
in new formats. Two recent releases sug- 
gest he's on the verge of something 
great. Codman Requiem (Point) is a solemn 
work of calm grandeur sung by the Hil- 
liard Ensemble. With three contempla- 
tive works for saxophone ensemble, Gav- 
in Bryars (Daphénéo) is the kind of CD 
that comes around only once or twice 
a decade. Precise but forceful, these may 
be the best classical works ever written 
for saxophone. 

Another contemporary Brit composer 
deserves a wider audience. Howard 
Skempton writes brilliantly austere mu- 
sic. His CD single, Lento (NMC), is only 
13 utes long, but it's orchestrally 
powerful. The 28 miniatures on Surface 
Tension (Mode) are works of majestic 
precision. — LEOPOLD FROEHLICH 


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WIRED 


TALKING TECH 


This year the big home-tech trend is 
owning more than one PC and network- 
ing them. Like office networks, home 
variations let you rig several PCs to share 
printers, scanners and other devices. 
But you don't have to rip down drywall 
or reconfigure wiring. Instead, products 
by InnoMedia and ShareWave use ra- 
dio frequency technology to move your 
documents from, say, a laptop in the 
bedroom to a printer in your home of 
fice. ShareWave has even adapted its 
network to link a PC and a television set. 
All you do is connect a special plug-in 
card and radio frequency transmitter to 


your PC, and a receiver to any TV set. 
Using a wireless keyboard, the TV then 
becomes a computer station with the 
ability to tap into all the software and 
hardware connected to the base system. 
Philips’ Ambi (about $800) is the first 
product to feature ShareWave's PC-TV 
technology. Down the road this network 
will offer a bonus: If you don't have a 
DVD player connected to your TV, Ambi 
will let you spin one on your computer's 
DVD-ROM drive and watch it on the big 
screen. Another home networking op- 
tion is to use phone lines to connect PCs. 
Action Tec's ActionLink (899) comes with 
cards that connect computers to a near- 
by phone jack, distributing information 
through the telephone wiring without 
interrupting incoming or outgoing calls. 
But the ultimate home networking 
lution may be Sun Microsystems Jini. 
Based on the Java language that is used 
to jazz up Web pages, jini promises one- 
button control of your home electronics 
and environment. With newfangled Jini- 
ized gear, you'll be able to press a button 
and watch the computer power down as 
the lights dim and the Jacuzzi kicks in. 
Hold all calls, please. — JONATHAN TAKIFF 


DOWNLOADS OF FUN 


In the interest of lightening your gadget 
load, we suggest you let your PalmPilot 
do double duty as a game machine. A 
32 website called the Pilot Zone (pilotzone 


com) offers a slew of great software for 
the Pilot, including these addictive en- 
tertainment options. Casino: Las Vegas 
at your fingertips—blackjack, roulette, 
craps, video poker and slots—but with- 
out the payoffs. Intelligolf Birdie Edi- 
tion: Turn your Pilot into a golf score- 
card as you track, analyze and review the 
stats for a foursome. Included are 14 
of the sport's most popular wagering 
games, including Skins, Stroke Play, 
Greenies and Bingo-Bango-Bongo. IR 
Battleship and IR Chess: These varia- 
tions of the classic board games let you 
play on your own or with an opponent, 
beaming moves from one Pilot to anoth- 
er via infrared links. Kyle's Quest: A 
popular role-playing game in which 
you explore a bizarre world while 
fighting monsters and taking on a 
slew of challenges. Gilligan’s Quest: 
Acompanion to Kyle's Quest, this one 
has you helping the castaways of the 
5.5. Minnow get off the island. Maze 
Madness: An addictive game in which 
you make your way through increas- 
ingly difficult mazes. Triv: A Trivial 
Pursuit clone with more than 4400 
ions. Squeeze the Ants: Earn 
ing bugs—but don't get. 
stung. Star Pilot: Not exactly a game 
but equally entertaining, this full-fea- 
tured star map includes a database of 
nearly 500 stars and 40 constellations. It 
works according to your current loca- 
tion, datc and time. So if you were to 
hold the PalmPilot over your head, the 
stars would appear on the screen exactly 
as they do in the sky. —MARC SALTZMAN 


— WILD THINGS es 


No, this isn't the latest in hair-drier design. H's InterAct's FX Racing Wheel, a РС pe- 
ripheral that functions as a steering wheel-type game controller yet doesn't take up 
your entire desktop. In fact, the FX is similar to а remote control in size ond handling 
Gripping it with your lef hand, you maneuver your vehicle by pointing the device to the 
left and right. To odjust speed, you turn the rubberized wheel with your opposite hond. 
Force feedback technology creates a vibration sensation every lime you hit о bump, 
groove in the road or slick spot and special controls give you the option of program- 
ming the various butions to perform specific tricks. The price: 540. е A great control- 
ler can improve racing action, but you need о powerful set of multimedio speakers 
to complete the fun. We've been cranking the Powered Partners 

AV390PLs from Advent ($150). This 70-watt, three-speaker 
sound system rocks—whether you're burning rubber 
опа racetrack, spinning compact discs or listening 
to sound files from the Web. It’s even better if 
you have a DVD drive on your system. The 
AV390PL setup includes front left and right 
satellite speakers, а boss-booming sub- 
woofer that can be mounted on the 
wall or placed оп the floor, Dolby 
Virtual Surround sound (which cre- 
otes a seven-speoker effect) and 
enough power to turn your office 
into а miniature movie theater. 
The challenge? Getting your 
work done. 一 BETH TOMKIW 


Game or THE MONTH 


WHERE & HOW TO BUY ON PAGE 166 


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LIVING ONLINE 


BUILD YOUR WEBSITE 


Not long ago, setting up a home page 
was a chore. You had to learn HTML 
and file-transfer protocol, register a do- 
main name using InterNIC and pay 
a service provider to host your site. Or 
you could hire someone to do it for you. 
Today, you can casily build and launch 
a website. 

My favorite instant home page site is 
Tripod (tripod.com). The company has a 
smart, fun-loving attitude and a bunch 
of tools that make it simple to setup your 
virtual front porch. 1 put one together 
in 30 minutes using Tripod's Quickpage 
function (take a look at the results at 
members.tripod.com/ottomatik). Quick- 
page lets you select from a number of 
templates, including Photo Album, My 
Personal Page and My Company Page. If 
you're feeling more adventurous, you 
can choose the “build by design” option 
and develop your layout. If you have a 
photo of yourself (or of your girlfriend 
in a bikini—a photo she'll let you use) 
you can put it on the front page. Or you 
can pick something from the library of 
images provided by Tripod. 

After you've set up the basic page, you 
can add all sorts of goodies, such as a 
chat room, a bulletin board and a hi 
counter to track how many people vi 
Tripod even has a program that allows 
you to place ad banners on your page 
and receive a cut of the sales. 

So what's the catch? When some- 
body visits your site, a small 
dow loaded with advertising 
pops up on the screen. It's 
not hard to close the window, 
but it's annoying, like а fly that 
won't die no matter how many 
times you swat it. If you want to save 
your visitors the hassle, buy a premium 
membership ($3 per month) that leaves 
out the pop-ups. 


СЕТА JOB 


Even if you love your job, it's worth 
your time to cruise around Monster.com 
every once in a while just 10 see what 
new opportunities are available. With 
more than 170,000 jobs offered by more 
than 30,000 employers, there's a good 
chance you'll find something that in- 
spires you to dust off your resume. The 
site has an excellent search feature that 
lets you zoom in on your dream career. 
After you upload your résumé, you can 
zip it over to any employer by clicking 
a button. Monster also has chat rooms 
and message boards hosted by coaches 
who are experts at career selection and 
negotiation. 

If you're a senior-level exec eager to 
replace your office-window view of the 


By MARK FRAUENFELDER 


smelting yard with one of the beach, try 
the online headhunting site Futurestep 
(futurestep.com). It takes about an hour 
to set up an account here, thanks to a 
battery of soul-scarching quizzes. But 
once you answer all the questions, you're 
rewarded with a report that describes 
your best career options. 


MORE TRICK THAN TREAT 


Going on the Web in scarch of adult 
entertainment is like hopping into a taxi 
in Berlin and telling the driver that 
you're "looking for a good time." When 
you wake up the next morning and dis- 
cover your wallet's missing, you'll wish 
you had stayed in your hotel room watch- 


ing pay-per-view. 

On the Web, thousands of mom-and- 
pop adult-site businesses compete in an 
increasingly cutthroat environment. If 
you use a scarch engine to find adult pic- 
turcs, or, worsc, enter an address from a 
spammed c-mail advertisement, you'll 
be bombarded with ad-banner windows 
that pop up in rapid-fire succession or 
enticing links that pull you into a nest of 
more adult-site advertising. Some sites 
actually hijack the navigation controls on 
your browser, making it impossible to 
exit or even shut the window (as many a 
frantically mouse-clicking employee has 
discovered after the boss suddenly shows 
up in his office). 


SPIN A DISC 


Picture the perfect radio station. The 
DJ plays the music you like but also sur- 
prises you with songs you haven't heard 
before. If you want to, you can hit a but- 


ton to skip to the next song. Instead of 
20 minutes of commercials every hour, 
there are only two. 

The station is here, now, on the Web. 
Imagine Radio (imagineradio.com) puts 
you in the DJ's shoes, enabling you to 
develop a custom radio station. It’s sim- 
ple to set up—you check boxes next to 
genres you loathe or like. Then some- 
thing that looks like a radio tuner ap- 
pears on your screen and the tunes com- 
mence. You can see the names of the 
artist and song as it's being played, along 
with a link to buy the CD if you want. 

Sometimes I listen to Imagine's news 
station, but I steer clear of the bulletin 
boards. Lame postings such as "Imagine 
Radio is da bomb!" remind me of the 
carpet salesmen we hear on regular ra- 
dio stations. 


FRY THAT SPAM 


Spammers will try anything to get you 
to open junk e-mail. Besides the endless 
deluge of offers for phony ID cards, mir- 
acle weight-loss herbs and Ponzi scams 
that fill my in-box on a daily basis, Гуе 
been getting a lot of “pump and dump" 
spam. These sneaky messages look as 
though they were intended for some- 
body else—“Hey, Jim, don't tell any- 
one, but I'm onto a sure thing. Buy as 
many shares of Amalgamated Capybara 
Breeders as you can, and you'll finally be 
able to afford that 120-foot yacht you've 
been dreaming about. Say hi to Nancy 
and the kids, and we'll see you Satur- 
day—Bill. 

Identical e-mail is sent to 500,000 oth- 
cr people. The schmuck who cooked up 
the ruse owns a bunch of Amalgamated 
Capybara, a penny stock, and the spam 
is intended to pump up demand so he 
can dump it later at a profit, soaking 
everyone else in the process. 

Now I'm able to eliminate almost all 
the junk e-mail that attempts to sneak 
past my radar, with the free program 
Spammerslammer (download it from 
spammerslammer.com). The program 
pores through your incoming e-mail, 
and, when it sniffs out a typical spam- 
ming trick—like a phony return address 
or other telltale forgery—the message's 
subject line is changed to Spam, followed 
by a number rating of one to five. (A 
high number means the message is a 
most certainly junk.) The program is 
simple to set up and use, and automati- 
cally updates its filters to keep up with 
the latest spammer scams. Unfortunate- 
ly, it doesn't come with a filter to delete 
the stinkers from the gusher of jokes that. 
get forwarded my way. 


You can reach Mark Frauenfelder by e-mail 
at oltomatik@earthlink.net. 


34 and Bairro Alto, or you can hire a taxi 


TRAVEL 


SEX MUSEUMS AROUND THE WORLD 


Founders Daniel Gluck and Alison Maddex plan to make 
their forthcoming erotic endeavor at 233 Fifth Avenue іп New 
York the “Smithsonian of Sex." But until the Museum of Sex 
opens early next year, your best bets for exploring erotica of 
all sorts are across the Atlantic. The tacky exterior of Amster- 
dam's Sex Museum (Damrak 18) belies the merit of many of 
the antiquities on display, though the room touted as "shock- 
ing" seems relatively tame. In Paris, the Musée de l'Erotisme 
(72, Boulevard de Clichy) sprang up іп 1997 amid Pigalle's 
peep shows and sex shops. The top three floors of the build- 
ing showcase contemporary art; the other four offer rotating 
selections of modern sculpture and photography, as well as 
African fertility fetishes and other exotic eclectica. Barcelo- 
na's Museu de l'Erótica (Ramblas 96) focuses on erotic pop 
culture—postcards, pin-ups, movies and tattoos. Copenha- 
gen's Museum Erotica (Købmagergade 24) promises insight 
into the sex life of Hans 
Christian Andersen, and 
you will also find paint- 
ingsand sex toys. Ber- 
lin's Erotik Muscum 
(Kantstrasse at Joachim- 
staler Strasse) emphasiz 
es classical Asian and 
European art and arti- 
facts, though snuff bot- 
tles painted on the in- 
side with copulating 
couples share space with 
a replica of Marilyn Mon- 
roe. Silent porn films are 
shown in a small room. 
Claus Becker's Erotic Art 
Museum in Hamburg 
(Reeperbahn between 
Gr. Freiheit Strasse and 
Holstenstrasse) contains 
a world-class collection of European crotic paintings, draw- 
ings and lithos, including some by Picasso. 一 ANNE SPISELMAN 


NIGHT MOVES: LISBON 


Built on seven hills, Lisbon has been a popular destination 
since the Romans arrived 2000 years ago. Baixa, the charm- 
ing waterfront section, and Bairro Alto, the old city on the hill 
above it, are the town’s twin hearts. Start cocktail hour with a 
glass of white port (Lisbon’s aperitif of choice) at Café Targus 
(Rua Diario de Noticias 40B), a favorite of the local media. 
The best seafood is served in Baixa at Gambrinus (Rua das 
Portas de Santo Antäo 25). Try the salt cod, shrimp with gar- 
lic sauce, or cataplana—a shellfish stew. Conventual (Praga 
das Flores 45) in Bairro Alto offers traditional dishes (such as 
stewed clams) with a French influence. After dinner it's time 
for serious drinking to the plaintive Portuguese-poetry-put- 
to-music known as fado. Bairro Alto has many fado clubs, 
which usually don't begin to come alive until 11 rw. (most 
have a $10 to $15 minimum that includes two drinks). Try 
Adega Machado (Rua do Norte 91) or Lisboa à Noite (Rua 
das Gaveas 69). Then join the thousands of people who stroll 
Bairro Alto's narrow cobblestone streets nightly, choosing 
from dozens of small bars, many open until dawn. The hot 

spot for large. modern dance clubs is along the river on 

Avenida 24 de Julho, with Docks and Indochina being the 

most popular. If you have an extra night, head for Estoril, 

15 miles away, where you'll find one of Europe's largest casi- 

nos. An express train leaves every 15 minutes from Baixa 

一 LARRYOLMSTED 


GREAT ESCAPE 一 一 一 
MANDERSTON 


Often described as the “supreme country house of Ed- 
wardian Scotland,” Manderston was the home of Sir 
James Miller, а sportsman and soldier known to his friends 
as Lucky Jim (he died in 1906). His former abode and sur- 
rounding grounds near the Scottish border are open for 
visits, courtesy of the current owners, Lord and Lady 
Palmer. Manderston's silver-plated staircase (see inset) is 


just one of the home's famous attractions. 
There's also a marble dairy, teakwood- 
paneled stables and 56 acres of formal 
and informal gardens. During your stay, 
you'll have the opportunity to dine with 
his lordship and her ladyship, play a 
round of golf at nearby Sunlaws, try 
your hand (or perhaps we should say 
wrist) at falconry and visit other great 
houses in the area. Cultural Kingdoms. 
Ltd. will make all the arrangements, including 
transportation from London. Price: about 54000 per cou- 
ple for three days and two nights. — DAVID STEVENS 


ROAD STUFF 


Traveler (pictured below) mea- 
sures only four inches by seven inches closed, but it holds a 
detachable AM-FM-SW radio, and there's room for your pass 
port, credit cards and plane tickets. Price: about $150 (includ- 
g carphones). e Melitta's stainless steel 

‘Travel Mug Coffeemaker comes with a mi 
roast coffee and all the accessories to make a fi 


Grundig's leather Executiv 


of premium 


shly brewed 


cup to go in the time it takes to prepare instant. Price: about 
$20. e Danger! (the latest "Travelers Tales guide) takes you 
from Bosnia to Borneo with "true stories of trouble and sur- 

vival" 


adventure junkies 
—bs 


by foreign correspondents, 
and others. It's a $17.95 gut-chewer. 


WHERE & HOW TO BUY ON PAGE 165 


SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Smoking 
By Pregnant Women May Result in Fetal 
Injury, Premature Birth, And Low Birth Weight. 


MERIT 


ULTRA LIGHTS 


Discover the rewards of thinking light. ко 


BOOKS 


ONE, TWO, THREE 一 WHAT 
WERE WE FIGHTING FOR? 


А Dangerous Friend (Houghton Miff- 
lin) is Ward Just's 12th novel. It's 
also his best. It is set in Vietnam 
in the mid-Sixties but isn't a war 
story in the conventional sense. 
Instead, it focuses on American 
civilians who went to Vietnam for 
what was called “nation building" 
(a term that covers many sins 
and job descriptions). Such an 
American is Sydney Parade, the 
man at the center of this novel, 
who brings destruction to those 

he meets, including a French 
landowner and his American wife, 
who are trying to survive amid 
chaos. Just gives us а colorful roster of the fools trying to 

save Vietnam, including Tony Dacy, who beds Vietnamese 
girls under the watchful eye of his Polaroid camera; Dicky 
Rostok, the ambitious administrator who is a stone-cold killer 
at heart; and Pablo Gutterman, married to a Vietnamese wom- 
an and destined to become an unwitting agent of death. 4 
Dangerous Friend shows brilliantly how defeat is sown early on 
by Americans who think they are performing miracles, but 
who are actually guaranteeing annihilation. —ASA BABER 


MAGNIFICENT 
OBSESSION/ 


Armchair travel books have improved tremendously over the 
past few years. Gone is the stereotypicol trovel writer, the 
know-it-all in a bush jocket who makes fun of various pidgin 
cultures. In his place is a quirky observer of human nature, a 
fallible troveler who is usuolly o source of 
greot amusement to those he encounters. 
Ore writer responsible for this rejuvenation 
is Eric Newby, the self-effacing travel 

of London's Observer. Lonely Planet has 
reissued Newby's classics in paperbock. 
Newby's Love and War іп the Apennines re- 
lates his experience os an escaped POW. 

A Short Walk in the Hindu Kush detoils his 
mountoin climbing in Afghanistan. In Slow- 
ly Down the Ganges, he tokes a moddening 
1200-mile journey to the Bay of Bengal. 
Round Ireland in Low Gear chronicles a 
foul-weather bicycle trip with his wife. On the Shores of the 
Mediterranean and A Small Place in Italy show him at his 
best—witty ond coptivating. Another moster of the form is 
the Times’ Literary Supplement’s Redmond O'Hanlon. No 
Mercy: A Journey Into the Heart of tho 

Congo (Vintage) tells of his feverish 

exploits among the Pygmies. He 

confronts the unknown with a pecu- 

liar of dreod ond bemusement. 

Australian scientist Tim Наппегу 

hos written Throwim Way Leg (At- 

lontic Monthly), сп incredible book 

obout his experiences in the wilds of 

New Guinea. His moy be the first 

sympathetic portrait of connibals, 

but it's also a wistful look at a poss- 

ing culture. | —LEOPOLD FROEHLICH 


Round Ireland) 
ҮЙ in Low Gear 


PLAYING THROUGH 


In The PGA Tour Complete Book of Golf (Henry Holt), Michael 
Corcoran offers the longest and most complete golf lesson of 
all time. With over 400 pages of tips, suggestions and stratc- 
gics, compiled through interviews with almost а hundred tour 
professionals, the book presents the official collected wisdom 
of the PGA. There's enough great advice here to confuse or 
enlighten any student. For his latest sports odyssey, John Fein- 
stein spent the better part of last year traveling the PCA tour. 
The result is The Majors: In Pursuit of Golf’s Holy Grail (Little, 
Brown). “Most of the time, professional golfers play for mon- 
ey,” writes Feinstein. “It is how they’re measured at the end 
of each year: But four times a year they are playing for histo- 
ry.” Those tournaments make up the majors: the Masters, the 
U.S. Open, the British Open and the PGA. Feinstein skillfully 
weaves together the history and tradition of the tournaments 
and the day-to-day buildup to create a vivid (if overly de- 
tailed) portrait of life on the tour. Focusing 

on a core group of competitors, 
including Fred Couples, David 
Duval and Mark O'Meara, 
Feinstein conveys the at- 
mosphere and captures 
the drama. Bill Murray 
seems like a guy who 
might show up late for 
a Sunday morning tee 
lime. So it's not sur- 
prising that a review 
copy of Cinderella Story: 
My Life in Golf (Double- 
day), co-authored with 
Golf magazine's editor in 
chief, George Peper, was de- 

layed. This account of Mur- 

ray's association with golf, from 
his days as a caddy on Chicago's 
North Shore to his crowd-pleasing an- 
tics as а decent golfer on the pro-am circuit, is at least as much 
fun as 18 holes at Pebble Beach. Golf may receive limited play 
in The Best American Sports Writing of the Century (Houghton МІН- 
lin), but that's par for the course, considering the amount of 
sportswriting devoted to baseball and boxing. From John Up- 
dike's brilliant chronicle of Ted Williams’ final game to Mark 
Kram's knockout account of the Thrilla in Manila, there's so 
much material here that the hand of guest editor David Hal- 
berstam is practically invisible. This lineup also features three 
pieces from PLAYBOY in an anthology that can be savored like 
a hole in one. 


—PAUL ENGLEMAN 


KEEP YOUR DAY JOB: 

Over 40 fomous outhors—in- 
cluding Stephen King, Moya 
Angelou, Normon Mailer, Amy 
Ton, Dove Barry, Molly Ivins, 
Carl Hioosen ond Roy Blount 
Jr.—get musical on а double 
CD optly titled Stranger 
Then Fiction. 71 don't be- 
lieve | pose any threot to 
lon Bon Jovi or even the 
lote Tiny Tim," says Leonard 
Maltin about his contribution. 
Order your copy through Don't Quit Your Day Job Records (PO. Box 
27901-120, Son Francisco, CA 94127). Then get out your kazoo 
and hum along with the literary greots. 一 HELEN FRANGOULIS 


MEN 


he next time that you visit Olym- 

pia, Washington, check out the 
men's room in the state senate. But be 
warned: Female legislators have taken 
over what used to be the men's room 
tors have been banished to 
y with fewer stalls. "De- 
mocracy in action," State Senator Harri- 
et Spanel said with a smile when asked 
abour it. 

Women have the clout to make that 
kind of change in the Washington state 
legislature. They have a 2-1 majority in 
the Democratic caucus, and they occupy 
most of the Senate's leadership and com- 
mittee positions. There are 23 female 
senators (out of 49 seats), and the state 
boasts the highest percentage of female 
legislators in the country (41 percent). 
Washington State is living proof that pol- 
ішсе is no longer a boys’ club, and the 
same can be said for the rest of America. 

Take a look at the number of women 
being touted as candidates for U.S. pres- 
ident in the next election. Watch [V's 
talking heads discuss bids by the likes 
of Elizabeth Dole, Chi ne Todd Whit- 
man, Kay Bailey Hutchison, Dianne Fein- 
stein and Barbara Boxer (and those are 
just the early birds; there may be others). 

Get used to it. Sooner rather than lat- 
er, we are going to have a female presi- 
dent The cultural revolution that began 
in the Sixties with Betty Friedan and 
Gloria Steinem is fulfilling its manifest 
destiny. І have no problem with that. But 
we should not toddle into our future 
without thinking about which woman 
would make the best president for men 
After all, even slobs like us need first- 
person love, don't we? What follows are 
the names of women who should be on 
our list for the first Madam President: 

Elizabeth Dole. Liddy (she hates being 
called that, by the way) is one of my fa- 
vorites, not for her political outlook but 
for her demeanor, which is both tough 
and soft. She appeals to the bad boy in 
me, since I am a guy who likes to be 
kissed and spanked at the same time. 
She was known as Sugar Lips, and 1 can 
certainly dig that. But what I like most 
about her is that she seems to be w: 
to break out of her tailored suits 
careful speech and go wild with passion. 
Like every other raunchy male I know, I 
think I'm the guy who could best help 
her to do that. (Bob, 1 admire you, but 
if my president orders me to serve my 
country, how can 1 dodge that draft?) 


By ASA BABER 


MADAM 
PRESIDENT 


Christine Todd Whitman. As Y write, New 
Jersey's governor is recovering from a 
broken leg. The press release says she 
broke it in a skiing accident, but I have 
my doubts. Like Ms. Dole, Governor 
Whitman presents a public image that's 
rational and controlled, but I can see be- 
yond the pose. Sure, she seems as сісап- 
cut as an angel, but what fantasies lurk 
beneath her calm facade? Personally, 1 
think she broke her leg doing the nasty 
with Michael Jordan somewhere in the 
Caribbean. That's another reason to vote 
for her as president. Think of the videos 
in that impeachment trial! 

Kay Bailey Hutchison. The senator from 
“Texas completes the Cool and Collected 
了 Like Ms. Dole and Ms. Whitman, 
the Kayster projects thoughtfulness and 
fai dedness (plus an outstanding 
wardrobe). She appears to be more vul- 
nerable than the rest of this crew, and 
guys really like that quality in a woman. 
Men assume that at a critical moment, 
President Kay would need an under- 
standing hand to help her guide the ship 
of state—and each one of us presumes 
he's the guy she would call. But can Kay 
discipline us like Liddy 
Christine? If so, she's a winner. 

Dianne Feinstein and Barbara Boxer. 1 
group these two senators together for a 
reason. Not only are they both from Cal- 
ifornia, but they also know their own 


minds and will not coddle men or flirt 
with them from the podium. I suspect 
Dianne likes men more than Barbara 
does, but what do 1 know? In fact, I 
don't think these two senators represent 
our best interests. But if you choose to be 
disloyal to your fellow men and vote for 
the most effective woman for president, 
goahead, numb-nuts. We'll get you later. 

Hillary Rodham Clinton. | have to men- 
tion her. She may not be elected first 
female president, but no former first la- 
dy with her tenacity and ambition will 
rest until she takes a shot (not literally, 
you understand) at the highest office in 
the land. From what I've observed so 
far, Hillary is focused solely on women's 
rights and thinks men have no problems 
worth discussing. But that could change. 
Given my perversitics, I'd probably vote 
for her in the hope that she, too, would 
somehow stumble into an Oval Office 
scandal that would captivate us. Is there 
a Monty Lewdinsky in the house? 

Oprah Winfrey. Some people have sug- 
gested that Oprah might run for the 
presidency one day, but I say we must 
never allow her access to that office. Be- 
lieve me, it has nothing to do with her 
politics or her talk show. The problem 
is, President Winfrey would undoubted- 
ly appoint her good buddy John Gray 
(Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Ve- 
nus) to some cabinet position, and I can't 
stand that guy. Gray's book outsold my 
Men Who Drive Cars t$ Women Who Love 
Penis by millions of copies, and I am noth- 
ing but bitter about it. 

Renée Zellweger. You might remember 
Renée as Tom Cruise's soul mate in ferry 
Maguire. 1 have no idea whether Renée 
knows anything about politics, but that 
doesn't matter to me. I fell in love with 
her face the first time І saw her, and 1 


just want to watch her for a few ycars. IF 


she is president, I will be able to sec her 
on TV a lot, and I have the fantasy that 
she might even call me for personal ad- 
vice sometime. "How do you prepare a 
105mm howitzer for firing, Ace?" she 
might ask me. Or "How do you stay so 
immature and lecherous?" You know, 
questions about things I'm really good 
at. And if, after Inauguration Day, Presi- 
dent Z wants me at her side, І promise to 
speak softly but carry a big stick. So go 
for it, girl, And good luck. 


37 


TELEVISION 


«зе 
FUTURAMA 

We have seen the future, and it looks 
a lot like . .. Homer Simpson? Welcome 
to the world of Futurama, the second tele- 
vision series to spring from the subver- 
sive mind of Matt Groening. With Groe- 
ning's first creation, The Simpsons, still 
going strong after ten seasons (plus two 
years of shorts on The Tracey Ullman 
Show), the cartoonist turned 
mogul has turned his distinc- 
tive drawing style and jaun- 
diced worldview to science 
fiction, a genre he loved as a 
kid growing up in Portland, 
Oregon 

Fulurama takes place a 
thousand years in the fu- 
ture, though if mankind 
doesn't seem terribly 
advanced, the show ex- 
plains, it's because aliens 
have destroyed Earth twice 
in the interim. The hero, Fry, is 
a pizza delivery boy who is inadsei 
tently frozen in a New York Сі 
cryogenics lab on New Year's 
1999 and wakes up in New York 
on the same day in 2999. His 
attempts to reinvent himself are 
stymied when computer tests determine 
that he's best suited to be a delivery boy. 


оа ыс 


Groening's new characters include the space 
pet Nibbler (top left), Leela, an olien (top 
right}, and Mom, the richest woman on Earth 
(center). Fry and Leela (right) zoom acrass 


38 New New York. Near left, their robot Bender. 


He's aided by a robot sidekick and a 
one-eyed alien bombshell (voiced by Ka- 
tey Sagal) who even sings on occa- 
1 don't want to scare anyone 
17 Groening told PLAYBovs Steve 
Pond, “but this is an animated sci- 
ence fiction musical, actually. 
PLAYBOY: You have been doing The 
Simpsons since 1987, and you've fi- 
nally gotten around to making anoth- 
er show. What took you so long? 
GROENING: І was having so much fun 
working on The Simpsons that it didn't 
seem there was апу necessity to do some- 
thing new. Also, І have a weekly comic 
strip, Life in Hell, and I have a couple of 
kids. So that's plenty of work. And I was 
unsure if | wanted to start another week- 
ly grind. But this was just too good an 
opportunity to pass up. 
PLAYBOY: Didn't you have plenty of 
chances to do other projects long be- 
fore this? 
GROENING: Fox has wanted to do a spinoff 
of The Simpsons, Simpsons movies, whatev- 
er. So finally we said, "Let's 
just do another show." 
PLAYBOY: And how has Fox 
responded? 
GROENING: The cu 
mosphere in television is one 
of anxiety and fear. And Fox 
has been worried that Futu- 
rama isn't like The Simpsons. 
And l've sa 


ent at 


FUTURANA™ AND 


and original.” But e 
that hasn't calmed Б; 
them down. Al- 
so, Fox expected 

to have our show 
under its thumb 2 
and was quite sur- 7% 
prised when I ada- 
mantly insisted that 
we put this show 
together exactly 
as we do The Simp- 
sons, with com- 
plete autonomy. 
So that’s why 
you haven't 
heard anything positive about Futurama 
from Fox during the past year. But now 
that it's finished and on the air, Fox’ tune 
has changed. 

PLAYBOY: What made this idea too good 
to pass up? 

GROENING: It looks to me like I do a new 
TV show about once every ten years, so 
if I don't do this now, I'm never going 
to do it. And 1 know David Cohen, 
who's been working on The Simpsons 
for about five years and is as avid 
a science fiction fan as І am, and we 
developed the show together. 

When we were kids we both read 
piles and piles of science fiction— 
good, had and indifferent In start 
ing to research ideas for this new 
show, I acquired a library of old, 
yellowing (continued on page 160) 


әл 
СА 


= 


TWENTIETH CENTURY FOX FILM CORPORATION. ALL RIGHTS RESERVEO 


20,000 B.C. 


1680 


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“A high-performance rally car far five passengers and all their gear” is how Michael Desmond af Mi 
subishi Matars describes the SSU—which stands for super sports utility. Whether it will be produced is 
yet to be decided, but the go-for-it consumer response at the Detroit and Chicago auto shaws might 
be what it takes to ge! the 310-horsepower all-wheel-drive cancept car off its pedestal and onto the 
byways and boandocks. If you're into extreme sports such as sky surfing, the SSU is your baby, accord- 
ing to Desmand, a lead designer at Mitsubishi's design studio in Califarni 
lops around a track and serious ‘air time’ off road," he says. And you don't have to give up any crea- 
ture comforts. By that we mean Recaro bucket seats, с GPS system and limausine-style legroam. 


ls capable of 150-mph 


hey... it'S personal 


PA 


ra 


К. 


ч 


=) 


= - TE J} 


Give Thomos Hutschenreuter two bottles from the same 
case of beer ond he can tell which was near the hand 
hole (exposure to light can skunk it ever so slightly). As 
master brewer for Beck's, he tokes his beer seriously. As 
his blueprint shows, he is porticulor obout pouring. Our 
odvice: Repeot the exercise until you get it right. 


Doggin’ It 
The perfect Chicago-style hot 
dog storts with a Vienna Beef 
fronk simmered for ten min- 
utes ond placed іп а poppy 
seed bun, according to Bo 
founder of Gold 
Coast Dogs. He smears a 
thin layer of mustard along 
the dog with the back of a 
spoon ("squeeze-boltle 
squiggles don't look right") 
then does the same with 
ish. Next are chopped onig 
ond three sport peppers 
serranos, оп! ў 
Then he places o long slic 
of dill pickle and three sli 
of tomato along the top. 
final touch is а dash of cel 
salt to bring out the flavor 
the tomotoes. And, Poteki! 
says, “never, ever put catsup 
on o hot dog. It’s like 
putting mayonnaise on 
comed beef.” 


WHERE & HOW TO BUY ON PAGE 166 


41 


сло» вам Co 


NS 


SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Smoking 
By Pregnant Women May Result in Fetal 
Injury, Premature Birth, And Low Birth Weight. 


THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR 


l caught my girlfriend having sex with 
another guy. It was obvious that alco- 
hol was involved. Tve told myself since 
the beginning of this relationship that 
1 would forgive one major fuckup, so af- 
ter much deliberation, | took her back 
She has promised me that this guy was 
the only one and that she had sex with 
him twice (I caught her the second time). 
Her remorse seems sincere, especially 
during all those nights when she cried 
her eyes out and begged me not to leave 
her and to forgive her. She makes it a 
point now to tell me how much she loves 
me. I think I made the right move, but 
I'm only 19 (she's 18). I'm not too proud 
to say that T love her, but it's not like 
we're married. Did I make the right de- 
сіѕіоп?—ЕМ., Yuma, Arizona 

Sure. If you and your girlfriend had been 
through a few serious relationships, we 
might have counted the second time she slept 
with her fast friend as one drunken mistake 
foo many. But given her youth, and yours, 
it's nol surprising that she strayed. Eighteen 
is Ihe first chapter, or maybe the third, in a 
long book. You ll both be curious aboul what 
other lovers have to offer, and now is the time 
to explore. Ride this one out and see what 
you learn. In the meantime, tell your girl- 
friend to drop the cry-mc-a-river routine—if. 
you've forgiven her, she doesn't need lo win 
you back. 


Bla in December, a reader asked the 
Advisor, “When is the proper time to eat 
the olive in your martini?” You replied, 
“There is no proper time.” Then you 
quoted two experts who suggested using 
one or two olives. I once read an inter- 
view with Frank Sinatra in which he ad- 
dressed both dilemmas. He said that the 
number of olives in a martini should al- 
ways be two—one for yourself and one 
to share with the next beautiful woman 
who walks into the room.—K.M., Car- 
mel, Indiana 
God, we miss that guy. 


You've heard about this controversy al- 
ready, but in А Man in Full Tom Wolfe in- 
wroduces a character who visits а motel 
with a lover. “Once they got in the room, 
she produced that little cup from her 
handbag, and they did that thing with 
the cup, something he had never heard 
of in his life. He had lost his mind to 
her demented form of lust. Danger! Im- 
minent exposure! That thing with the 
cup!” Wolfe says he invented the phrase 
“that thing with the cup” to imply “some 
unmentionable perversion.” I'm not 
sure I believe him. Is there a thing with 
the cup?—R.D., New York, New York 
Of course—Wolfe is being discreet. That 
thing with the cup is deliciously perverted, 
but certainly not unmentionable, at least not 


here. We asked Laura Corn, who describes a 
variely of sex tricks in her book 101 Nights 
of Great Sex (800-611-2665), to do the hon- 
ors, because that thing with the cup sounds 
all the more depraved when a woman de- 
scribes it: “It should be a teacup, because the 
woman will need to get her tongue into it. 
She produces the cup from her purse or bag 
with some dramatic flair; he secs it and ap- 
preciates that it has significance. The cup is 
placed within easy reach of the bed, or wher- 
ever they're going to get down to business. As 
the woman works her guy into a frenzy with 
her mouth and hands, she glances over at the 
cup every once in a while to remind him it's 
there. Then, during the moments before he 
climaxes, she reaches for it and positions it at 
the end of his coch to catch his ejaculate. 
Looking him straight in the eye, she raises 
the cup slowly to her lips апа sips from it, 
then reaches in with her fingers and spreads 
his semen over her face and breasts. As a fin- 
ishing touch, she licks the cup clean, then 
leans forward to give him a long, deep kiss 
That's about as nasty and hot as you can 
gel—with а cup, anyway." 


W our answer in February to the reader 
who asked about tie lengths overlooked 
what might be the main reason so many 
men are wearing their ties below the 
belt. We fat men have learned that wear- 
ing long ties makes us look less pudgy, 
and that is more important than being 
correct by PLAYBOY'S standards.—E.S., 
Louisville, Kentucky 
It's not working. 


А radio DJ said that Gene Simmons of 
Kiss had a frenectomy so that he could 
stick his tongue out as far as he does 
"That must be great for oral sex. How 


ILLUSTRATION BY ISTVAN BANVAI 


complicated is this surgery, and who per- 
forms it?—N New York, New York 

Cutting your frenulum—the tissue that 
connects your tongue 10 the botlom of your 
mouth—won't make your tongue any longer, 
but it will make you drool. If you can touch 
your lips with your tongue, it's long enough. 
Most women prefer gentle teasing of the vul- 
va and indirect clitoral pressure, so they 
aren't going to be disappointed if you can't 
polish the walls of their vagina. Simmons 
says he's the fortunate recipient of a long- 
tongue gene. “It’s a bizarre thing to be 
known for,” he says. "Women approach те 
іп airports or at parties and ask, ‘Do you 
mind if see it?" ГЇ happily reach for my zip- 
per but then realize they're talking about the 
monstrosity in my mouth.” That Gene—such 
a kidder. 


1 work in Russia and have a profession- 
al driver who is proud of his abilities be- 
hind the wheel. But any time he stops, 
for a light or because we're in traffic, he 
slips the automatic transmission into 
neutral. When 1 started driving in the 
U.S. some 30 years ago, І was taught that 
it's better for an automatic transmission 
to be left in gear when the vehicle stops 
We're talking about a 1999 Toyota Land 
Cruiser, which retails here for a modest 
$74,000, so 1 would rather not damage 
the engine. Then again, I'm not eager to 
tell my driver how to do his job.—D.M., 
Yuzhno-Sakhalinsk, Russia 

Unless you're standing for more than five 
minutes, you don't need to shift to neutral. 
The only time you should in stop-and-start 
traffic is when you're running hot. The vehi- 
cle idles higher in neutral, which helps the 
water pump and AC compressor work more 
efficiently. You can explain all this to your 
driver, but you'll have a hard time break- 
ing him of the habit. Needless shifting won't 
damage your engine, but it can wear on your 
Transmission over the long term. If that con- 
cerns you, pacify your driver with a stick 
shift that’s not connected to anything. Or 
quit watching him drive. 


What happens if one parent opposes 
the circumcision of a newborn son and 
the other parent insists on it? My wife 
and I have been discussing this as we try 
to have a child, but I can't convince her 
that circumcision is an unnecessary and 
painful procedure. Who does the doctor 
listen to? If my son decides he wants to 
have it done when he's older, fine, but 
no infant should be forced to endure 
it—S.G., Calgary, Alberta 

If you object strenuously and in writing, a 
physician would be foolhardy to perform the 
procedure, But that should be a last resort; 
work this out before the birth. You are not 
alone in believing circumcision is unneces- 
sary—rates in the U.S. have fallen from 80 


43 


PLAYBOY 


percent to 90 percent in the early Seventies 
to about 60 percent today, in part because 
more parents are being educated about the 
procedure. Noureligious circumcision be- 
came popular in the U.S. because 19th cen- 
tury doctors thought the removal of the fore- 
skin would discourage masturbation, which 
they believed led to disease. When that justi- 
fication fell from favor, doctors argued that 
circumcision improves hygiene. However, 
diligently cleaning under the foreskin can 
prevent infections and other problems as 
readily as culling й off Many boys are cir- 
cumcised, it seems, for no other reason than 
that their fathers or brothers preceded them. 
That may be changing. The American Acad- 
ету of Pediatrics has revised its guidelines 
to say that circumcision should no longer 
be considered routine. “Circumcision is not 
essential to a child's well-being at birth, 
though й does have some potential medical 
benefits,” the academy says, such as provid- 
ing slighily better protection against urinary 
tract infections in the first year of life. The 
academy also recommends that an analgesic 
be used during all circumcisions (it often ізі 1). 


Fm in the process of finding а new job. 
What kind of watch should I wear to in- 
terviews? -РВ., El Paso, Texas 

An interview watch should be low-key and 
traditional, reliable and punctual. Avoid the 
beeps and whistles and compasses and tem- 
perature gauges—il need only provide the 
time and date so you'll be where you're sup- 
posed to be when sou're supposed to be there. 


А friend of mine and his fiancée have 
agreed not to have sex until their wed- 
ding night, even though they've been 
sleeping together for several years. Have 
you ever heard of this?—R.W., McLean, 
rginia 

Reclaiming your chastity is a great way to 
build anticipation, even after you're mar- 
ried. In their book The Greal Sex Weekend, 
Janet Lever and Pepper Schwartz suggest 
that couples remain abstinent for at least a 
week before any erotic getaway. “The minute 
we made sex off-limits, we were dying for it,” 
опе couple told Lever and Schwartz, who 
point out that abstinence can “heighten your 
appetite for sexual extravagance.” Here are 
some ground rules: The couple can kiss and 
caress so long as they avoid the genitals. 
They can't masturbate (harsh!). They should 
talk dirty and lease each other silly. Imagine 
the longing you'd feel after a few months (or, 
God forbid, a year or more) of that. If this 
idea catches on, expect a lot more shotgun 
weddings—with the groom supplying the 
shotgun. 


Your January column featured a leter 
from a woman whose husband was un- 
willing to have sex with her during her 
period. That's too bad, for many women 
experience heightened arousal during 
that time of the month. You suggested a 
diaphragm or a product called Instead, 


44 but inserting a tampon before inter- 


course has always worked for me. The 
pull string should be shortened so that 
it reaches just outside the vaginal open- 
ing (it can be tucked inside before 
coitus). A cervical covering might be dis- 
lodged during vigorous activity, especial- 
ly if the woman enjoys the sensation of 
having her cervix stimulated during 
intercourse. In addition, a cap or di- 
aphragm won't fit securely if a woman's 
uterus is in a tipped position, which is 
common. The tampon moves to ac- 
commodate play. If a couple has соп- 
cerns about a small amount of blood get- 
ting on the sheets (which is unlikely), 
place a towel on the bed. The main thing 
is to relax and have a wonderful romp.— 
5.5., Los Angeles, California 

We're with you on that, but isn’t this start- 
ing to sound like a lot of trouble? Use a tow- 
el, guys, and forget it. Great sex can happen 
any time of the month. 


The other night my buddies and 1 were 
playing poker with a wild card. At the 
conclusion of one hand, 1 held a five-of- 
ackind and my friend had a royal flush. 
We couldn't figure out who had won, so 
we split the pot. I figured if the Advisor 
can't settle this, nobody can.—R.T., Car- 
bondale, Colorado 

А five-of-a-kind and а royal flush in the 
same hand? You may want to have that deck 
bronzed. In home poker, five-of-a-kind beats 
a royal flush. 


MI, wife of four years left me for a 
woman she met online in a chat room 
dedicated to lesbian lifestyles. This was 
difficult to deal with, but it has been 
more than a year now and I have come 
to understand her choice couldn't have 
been easy. She did what she needed to 
do. Perhaps I even respect her courage. 
1 have been secing a woman for several 
months and we are getting on quite well, 
but 1 find that when І tell my friends the 
truth about what ended my marriage, 
their reaction is often disbelief. Some of 
them even seem to avoid me. I wonder 
if they think I'm lying and believe the 
reason for the divorce lies clsewhere. 
Should I not be completely honest about 
this?—B.H., Baltimore, Maryland 

You lost someone you loved. Her departure 
doesn't mean you were a bad lover or hus- 
band, ie., that you “turned her gay." Your 
friends will understand that and offer their 
support. The rest can't be called friends. 


A buddy of mine suggested buying vin- 
tage champagne for the coming New 
Year's Eve celebration, to avoid last-min- 
ute price gouging. He also told me that 
champagne should never be stored in 
the refrigerator. Why is that? I have a 
bottle in there now. Have I ruined it?— 
R.G., Nashville, Tennessee 

There's a good chance you've killed the 
bubbles and flattened the laste. A refrigera- 
tor is too cold lo store any wine for longer 


than а day or two, and the vibrations of its 
motor can be harmful, too. Chill the cham- 
pagne in а bucket filled with ісе and water 
(add half a cup of salt) for 30 minutes before 
serving. Until then store it as you would any 
good wine: in a constant temperature be- 
tween 55 degrees and 60 degrees. Ideally, 
your storage area should have a humidity of 
75 percent lo 95 percent; in most cases, a 
cool, dark closet ar basement will suffice for 
current nonvintage releases. Store the bottle 
on its side. If you're planning a party, con- 
sider renting a cellar. Your wine store should 
be able to recommend one where you can 
keep a case or two. 


м, youngest brother is getting mar- 
ried in August. My boyfriend and I are 
wondering if you could suggest any 
ideas for harmless wedding night gags to 
play on them.—V.L., Omaha, Nebraska 

We're not fans of "harmless" gags—they 
often backfire. If you'd like to give your 
brother a laugh, how about a scandalous 
care package from his big sister? Gift штар a 
box filled with a tall botile of lube, а condom 
sampler, massage oil, a scented candle, a jar 
of chocolate body lotion, a large feather, а 
velvet-lined blindfold and a vibrator (don't 
forget the batteries). Have the box placed on 
their bed. The contents should last them an 
hour or so. Good Vibrations (800-289-8423) 
has a lot of the sexy stuff. 


Recently 1 found a Rabbit Head pen- 
dant in an old jewelry box. My husband 
suggested that I wear it. The first time 
1 did—at the mall—two separate men 
asked if I was a Playmate. Since then, 
several others have asked the same ques- 
tion. Is there something І don't know 
about this pendant? Should І still wear 
it, even as a happily married woman?— 
M.H., Tampa, Florida 

As you have discovered, the Rabbit Head. 
mbolizes freedom, fun and confidence— 
three characteristics that define sexiness 
Men picked you out of a crowd long before 
you found that pendant. It simply gave them 
ап opening line. And being married doesn't 
mean you can't accept а compliment. When 
someone asks if you're a Playmate, smile and 
leave them guessing. 


All reasonable questions—jrom fashion, food 
and drink, stereo and sports cars to dat- 
ing dilemmas, taste and eliquette—will be 
personally answered if the writer includes a 
self-addressed, stamped envelope. The most 
provocative, pertinent questions will be pre- 
sented in these pages each month. Write the 
Playboy Advisor, ті ауноу, 680 North Lake 
Shore Drive, Chicago. Штоіх 60611. or ad 
visor(t playboy.com. Look for responses to 
our most frequently asked questions at www. 
playboy.com/faq, and check out the Advisor's 
latest collection of sex tricks, 365 Ways to 
Improve Your Sex Life, available in book- 
stores or by phoning 800-423-9494. 


REFRESHING | 

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THE PLAYBOY FORUM 


AIR BAG UPDATE 


wight Childs’ pickup truck 
D came equipped with driver- 

side and passenger-side air 
bags. On May 16, 1998 he ran a red 
light and crashed into another vehi- 
dle. His two-month-old son was on 
the seat next to him, belted into a 
rear-facing child carrier and, as a lo- 
cal reporter described it, “in the bags" 
line of fire.” The air bags deployed, 
Killing the baby. 

The tragedy was soon compound- 
ed. Like 3.2 million other vehicles, 
Childs’ truck had a cutoff switch that 
would have disabled the air bags. Be- 
cause he had neglected to activate i 
judge found Childs guilty of vel 
lar homicide and sentenced hi 
two days in jail—one to be served 
on his dead son's birthday and 
the other on the anniversary of 
the fatal accident. He also or- 
dered Childs to make public- 
service announcements re- 
garding air bag safety. 

First, Americans thought 
air bags were a bad idea, 
Then they became manda- 
tory. Now, we punish some- 
one because he forgot to turn 
them off. 

Automotive giant Lee lacocca 
has spoken against air bags. In his au- 
tobiography, Іасосса tells of a retired 
safety engineer who wanted to use air 
bags as a humane alternative to the 
electric chair. 

"In his application to the U.S. Pat- 
ent Office," writes Гасосса, "the inven- 
tor stated that by inflating an air bag 
directly under a condemned person's 
head, the force of 12,000 pounds can 
snap the guy's neck far more effec- 
tively than the hangman's noose, and 
so quickly as to preclude any pain 
whatsoever. I'm not sure that 1 would 
want one of those gizmos in my car.” 

The government called air bags 
“automatic crash-protection systems.” 
You got the protection whether you 
wanted it or not. And early tests sug- 
gested that air bags—in combination 
with seat belts—were effective in pre- 
venting head and chest injuries. If 
you were stupid enough not to buck- 
le up, air bags alone could reduce 
your chance (by $1 percent) of dying 


when a bad idea gets worse 


in а head-on collision. 

From their introduction in the late 
Eighties until August 1998, air bags 
deployed some 2.6 million times. In 
doing so, the devices saved the lives of 
about 3448 people (965 belted, 2483 
unbelted). In that same period, air 
bags killed 113 people (47 adults, 66 
children). In other words, air bags 
killed one person for every 30 lives 
they saved. 

The air bags had performed as pre- 
dicted—they were a humane alterna- 
tive to the electric chair. In front-end 
collisions of any speed, they deployed 
at 200 mph. If a baby were strapped 


into a rear-facing infant carrier (its 
head mere inches from the air bag) 
and the car’s front fender grazed a 
garage door, the bag could deploy 
and the baby would likely die. If a 
person of short stature—say, Gran- 
ny—sat fewer than ten inches from 
the steering wheel, the quickly bil- 
lowing pillow, so reassuring in TV 
ads, could crush her chest and snap 
her neck. The same air bags—which 
can either kill you or save your life— 
caused 300,000 minor injuries that 
ranged from broken bones to shat- 
tered eardrums. 

The government found all sorts of 
bad behavior to blame—victims were 
not buckled in, were sitting too close 
to the front dash or steering column, 


were too young (under 12) to ride in 
the front seat. The National Highway 
‘Traffic Safety Administration offered 
guidelines that read like they came 
from the National Rifle Association. 
(What kind of safety device has to be 
treated like a loaded handgun?) If the 
car has a tilt steering wheel, it should 
be pointed toward the chest. Sit as far 
away from the air bag as possible, be- 
cause the first two or three inches are 
the impact zone. Don't reach for some- 
thing in the glove compartment when 
pulling out of a parking spot—a low- 
speed collision could inflate the bag 
and break your neck. Do not drive 
with your hands in the classic ten- 
and-two position. The air bag could 
break your arms and throw them 
in your face at 200 mph. The 
NHTSA told Americans that 
proper parenting mandat- 
ed putting kids in the back- 
| seat. Better yet, leave them 

at home and stay there 

yourself. 

Without admitting that 
air bags might be a bad 
idea, the government and 
the auto industry adapted to 
the grim statistics. Companies 
introduced second-generation 
air bags that deployed with 20 per- 
cent to 35 percent less force. Ford an- 
nounced a smart bag (featuring a sen- 
sor that reacts to the speed of the 
vehicle and the height, weight and 
seat position of the passenger) that 
makes the important live-or-die deci- 
sion automatically. It would also re- 
duce insurance costs for replacing all 
the passenger-side air bags that inflat- 
ed to protect an empty seat. This is an 
elaborate solution to a simple prob- 
lem—that air bags аге not safe for 
everyone. 

The feds finally realized that not 
all passengers resemble a 170-pound 
crash-test dummy and mandated that 
automobile companies test their air 
bags on a one-year-old in a safety 
seat, a three-year-old, a six-ycar-old 
anda 110-pound woman. The results 
should tell us what we already know. 
We would have preferred the govern- 
ment conduct its safety experiments 
on dummies instead of the public. 


45 


46 


Questionable 


Oddest toy 


Don't try this 


tor that has an ad- | doorstep one day 
justable throttle and fuck the taste 
and butt plug out of your mouth.” 


Piece of black "Baruch ata adonai, 

obsidian honed to | elohainu melech 

razor sharpness ha-olam, shechi- 
yanu, v'kiyamanu, 
vehigiyanu, lazman 
ha-zeh." 


y 


Al 


pickup line at home 

Idaho potato "| am Zeus, ruler oft | "Part of my sex play 
(with condom) Olympus, seducer with my partners was 

of maidens, wielder | that we cut each 

ofthe thunderbolt." | other with razors, 

scalpels, X-Acto blades." 

Jewel-encrusted "Bend over and Sex with power sander, 
dildo grab your ankles." sex with blender 
Hobbyhorse "You've been "He bent me over the 
equipped with a dreaming that I'll eighth-story balcony 
dual-piston vibra- | show up at your railing.” 


“Her dreams were filled 
with images of needles. 
driving themselves into 
her ears, her nipples, her 
labia, and she came hard 
when Rebecca caned her 
the next morning.” 


Cheesiest line 


“Yours is the cunt 
that ate Tokyo.” 


“I like it when 
Mister Down- 
Under slides his 
meat loaf into my 
fresh hot biscuit.” 


“His dark nipples 
stared at me like 
icons from a 
Taoist temple.” 


“My girlfriend 
Melinda has skin 
the color of a per- 
fectly toasted 
bagel, lips like lox 
and teeth as white 
as cream cheese.” 


*Stories in which masturbation occurred with a power sander, pneumatic machine, prostate vibrator, boat tiller or other 


By JOSHUA GREEN 


nexasperated Sigmund Freud once asked, “What do women want?" Five generations 

later, we at least know where to look for the answer. No, we're not talking about cor- 

recting the 74-cents-to-the-dollar gender gap in wages, breaking the glass ceiling or 

electing Liddy Dole. We are talking about fucking a ghost who looks like George Costanza, hav- 
ing sex with an ice sculpture, and using all manner of monster vibrators: the Clitiekler, the Gi- 
gantor, the Panabrator ІХ. When it comes to sex, women's deepest yearnings are as far-out as 
those of men. A cottage industry in female fantasy—one that began with Anais Nin and was passed 
down to the editors of Ladies’ Home Erotica and now the Herotica series of books and tapes—has 
flowered. We examined four recent volumes of clit lit to learn what turns on the modern woman: 


Number of 
authors who Memorable 
mention cats Sex scene 
in their bios 


Percentage Ratio of 
of stories straight to 
with dildos | gay stories* 


Worst description 
of sex act 


"It feels like fucking 
a stalled cement 
truck." 


"The pace quickens to the 
breaking point, my strokes 
are tight pulses, then she 
gasps, pitches hard against 
me, does a long, last grind, 
opens her eyes and unfuris 
a slow smile." 


“І shook like my 
epileptic cousin, 
Emmy." 


"Cindy began whipping her 
head from side to side, all 
the while telling me to 
continue fucking her, but 
harder, always harder." 


“¡Ayyy! iMi сата! “Trembling, І collapse onto 
iMi camarera!” [Mick Jagger's] wiry body. 
she yelled." So many years fantasizing 


about him, feeling teased 
by him, yet never believing 
I'd really have him.” 


“She comes fiercely, head 
arched back, eyes closed. 
Her fingernails scratch a 
trail down to my ass, sharp, 
razor-thin strokes of 
passion. Longing. Desire." 


“She reached deep 
into me, past the 
place of coming, into 
the center of my 
womanness." 


object were excluded from this category. 


47 


E 


E R 


SEX FOR SALE 


‘The next logical мер in the 
warped world of Jane Larson 
and Linda Hirshman, authors 
of Hard Bargains: The Politics of 
Sex (“Sex for Sale,” by Ted С. 
Fishman, The Playboy Forum, 
March), would be to require 
single, celibate and uncommit- 
ted men to pay an extra tax. 
Proceeds of this tax would be 
paid to single women who suf- 
fer economically by the selfish 
actions of such men. Imagın 
an available man not contribut- 
ing to the economic well-being 
of women. The nerve of some 
people! 


Richard Reinhofer 
Portland, Oregon 


As a professor of sociology, I 
agree with Ted Fishman's anal- 
ysis that Larson and Hirsh- 
man's proposals are "lunatic." 
Their views incorporate an un- 
derstanding of sexuality— 
both women's and men's—and 
equality that is naive at best and 
offensive at worst. 

However, Fishman's conclu- 
sion—"The new feminism 
seems like the old. Once again, 
only men pay"—is likewise na- 
ive. As a feminist and PLAYBOY 
subscriber, 1 would wager that 
Larson and Hirshman, who al- 
so consider themselves to be feminists, 
would never agree with such an assess- 
ment. But that illustrates an important 
Point: There is no single definition of 
feminism, and most certainly there is 
none for a new feminism. There are 
variations within the umbrella of femi- 
nism, and many feminists, if not most, 
would consider Larson and Hirsh- 
man's thesis extreme. 

Finally, Fishman is wrong when he 
claims that only men are vicums in Lar- 
son and Hirshman's scheme. In cul- 
tures that regulate sex in ways similar 
to those proposed by the book's au- 
thors, women lose too. 

Leslie Atkins 
Norman, Oklahoma 


Fishman should relax: The laws Lar- 
son and Hirshman have proposed are 
as old as the hills. John Wesley, founder 
of the Methodist Church, had to return 
to England because of breach of con- 
tract after he jilted his fiancée from 


TUTE 
TY rire 


FOR THE RECORD 


POLLING THE PROSPECTS 


"Do you normally call games of chance 'gam- 
bling’ or ‘gaming’? 
“Would you support a removal of the words 
"under God’ from the pledge of allegiance? 
“Do you believe gun control reduces crime? 
“Would you place a créche on the White 
House lawn if ordered to refrain from doing so 
by the Supreme Court?” 
一 Port of a questionnaire given to Republican pres- 
idential hopefuls by the conservative Committee to 
Restore American Values to determine which can- 
didate best meets the group's ideals. Respondents 
included Ohio congressman John Kasich, Steve 


Forbes, Gary Bauer and Alan Keyes. 


Georgia. Consequently, the Methodist 
Church in America was founded by 
proxies. 
Sharon Eicher 
Lawrence, Kansas 


Ted Fishman criticizes our book be- 
cause of our belief that “sex between 
men and women should not be a pri- 
vate matter. Instead, sex is an exten- 
sion of social life.” 

Let us first untangle what our book 
really says. Hard Bargains assumes that 
most people prefer to have sex with at 
least one other person (this should not 
be controversial). In this way, having 
sex is almost always a social decision, 
like going into business or seeing a 
movie with a companion. Whether 
brief or lasting, the sexual union cre- 
ates a small society. In a sexual rela- 
tionship, as in any society, people who 
want to be together will sometimes dis- 
agree. They'd like to spend the eve- 
ning together, but they don't want to 


see the same mo One wants 
cunnilingus beforc intercourse, 
the other prefers dispensing 
with “the frills." One wants to 
get married and the other 
doesn't. One wants to be free to 
“fondle the secretary,” as Fish- 
man so quaintly puts it, the oth- 
er wants her sexual partner to 
keep his hands off the help. 

When people's interests dif- 
fer, there are many ways to re- 
solve the differences. But one 
thing is unavoidable. When peo- 
ple differ in what they want, 
someone is going to get more 
than the other. You can't see 
two movies at once. 

For many centurics, sexual 
advantage went to the strong. 
Now laws against rape restrain 
the advantage of physical 
strength. Discounting physical 
strength, however, the rich and 
powerful more often have sex 
on their terms than the poor or 
disempowered. Before sexual 
harassment laws, the executive 
got to fondle his secretary be- 
cause she needed the job. More 
subtly, persisting biases affect 
who gets the better sexual deal. 
People are still more likely to 
think that a wife should move 
to where her husband's job 
takes him or quit her job to 
raise the kids—all part of their 
sexual deal. Whether inside or outside 
of marriage, “having sex” still ordinar- 
ily means unadorned intercourse, an 
act well designed for male orgasm but 
not so good at providing the direct сін- 
oral stimulation most women need for 
orgasm. 

Despite recent social changes, men 
аза group are stronger and richer, en- 
joy higher social status and benefit 
from thousands of years of assump- 
tions that they belong on top. So when 
it comes to male-female sex, that's 
where they tend to end up. 

Force, money and inherited social 
advantage—that's how disputes get set- 
tled where there is no better system. 
And despite greater attention to the 
social impact of sex since the sexual 
revolution, society still recognizes al- 
most no better system for resolving dif- 
ferences of interest between men and 
women regarding the terms on which 
they will have sex. People deserve bet- 
ter options. 


R E. 5 


Р O 


As things stand, one option people 
have is to get married and let the gov- 
ernment set the rules. Despite Fish- 
man's certainty that we are trying to 
force men into marriage, the fact is we 
are interested in making sex outside of 
marriage a better option than it cur- 
rently is. 

We think criminal laws against forni- 
cation (also known as unmarried sex), 
which are still on the books in many 
places, should be abolished. But we al- 
so think it is time for the law to end its 
hands-off policy about nonmarital sex- 
ual relationships. A world without any 
law is a scary place. Personal injury law 
doesn't protect the unmarried from a 
partner with HIV or other sexually 
transmitted diseases. 

Philosophers call a world without 
law the "state of nature" or a "state of 
the war of all against all." Heterosexu- 
al or homosexual, we don't think peo- 
ple should have to go all the way to 
marriage to have the benefits of a law- 
ful relationship. 

pLAvaoy and Fishman might describe 
a world without sex law asa sexual par- 
adise. Where there is no law, the strong 
rule, whether they are physically stron- 
ger, financially stronger or socially 
stronger. 

Нага Bargains proposes that law play 
a role in creating a world where men 
and women make sexual decisions on 
more equal footing. 

Here are our ideas: 

First, partners must say yes to sex. 
Silence is not consent. We want both 
men and women to persuade their 
partners to say yes (or better yet, "Yes, 
yes, уе”). This is not because we want 
men to marry instead of rape, but be- 
cause silence is ambiguous. Rather 
than risk forced sex, we err on the side 
of consent. This strengthening and 
clarification of rape law continues the 
century-long process of limiting the 
use of force in sex. 

Second, the law should provide for 
mutual duties of care when a man and 
a woman have lived together for years. 
1f the couple wants to make legal 
promises to each other, the law should 
enforce those contracts, just like any 
other deal. If, on the other hand, one 
party wants 10 keep a sexual relation- 
ship going but have no ties, he or she 
must say so. Fishman raises the dread 
prospect that a man might not mar- 
ry and yet still get stuck with a wom- 
an who "plumps up,” stops wanting to 


have “wild sex," or “demurs, goes to 
bed in curlers or pleads a headache.” 
As the law stands now, if they're not 
married she's out as fast as you can say 
"change the locks." That's fine. All we 
ask is that before he talks her into put- 
ting him through graduate school or 
moving to Dubuque because he got a 
new job, he warn her about the daily 
weigh-ins and the no-curlers rule. 

Third, if the partners want to prom- 
ise to be faithful for life by getting mar- 
ried, we would put ordinary legal force 
behind the promise and make it en- 
torceable, just like any other deal. 

Most of what Fishman dislikes about 
the book is that we assume that indi- 
vidual women, like men, have needs 
апа desires, and that a woman's desires 
may not always coincide with a man's. 
Calling women whores is the bottom 


—€—— — 


N S E 


linc for Fishman, because he thinks this 
new picture of sexual arrangements 
means that "only men pay." What he 
is ignoring is that women want sex as 
much as men do, and yet they already 
pay more for it than do their male part- 
ners. They exchange sexual access un- 
der terms of emotional, physical and 
financial disadvantage; bear the great- 
er burden of the reproductive conse- 
quences of heterosexual intercourse 
and spend more of their capacities and 
opportunities to obtain a lesser sexual 
deal. Let's even out the deal a little. 

Jane Larson 

Madison, Wisconsin 


Linda Hirshman 
Waltham, Massachusetts 

Fishman did not call women whores. Your 
argument, however, recalls the apocryphal 


FORUM Е.Х.І. 


ATTENTION DEFICIT DEMOCRACY 


"Rather than ‘government by the people,’ we now have ‘attention 
deficit democracy.’ Less than half of the voters show up at the polls; 
less than half of the voters who do show up understand the issues. 
Politicians themselves are often unaware of what lurks in the bills 
they vote for. The larger government becomes, the less democratic 
it will tend to be, simply because people becorne less able to com- 
prehend and judge the actions of their rulers. The great issue for 
modern democracy is whether politicians can fool enough of the 
people enough of the time to continue expanding their power over 


everyone." 


—From James Воуага 5 new book, Freedom in Chains: The Rise 
of the State and ihe Demise of the Citizen (St. Martin's Press) 


49 


50 


exchange between a man and a prim ma- 
tron. He asked, "Would you sleep with me 
for a million dollars?” After some thought, 
the woman replied in the affirmative. When 
he handed her $50, she expressed shock and 
demanded to know what he thought she uas. 
"We've already determined that. Now we're 
just haggling over price." You say women 
desire sex, bul almost every page of Hard 
Bargains says they desire more than sex. 
They desire permanence, security, control 
over their partner's wandering eye—in short 
they want a monopoly. The "Yes, yes, yes!” 
you claim to orchestrate is more akin lo 
tialing a rental contract than it is ап affir- 
mation of er surrender to the power of sex. 
Early feminists such as Emma Goldman saw 
а parallel between prostitutes and wives— 
and argued for sexual choices that were free 
of state or church contracts. The sexual rev- 
olution stripped bare the charade of mar- 
rioge—laus didn't make what happened in 
marriage moral or even 

safe. You claim to want to 
decriminalize fornication, 
уе! you hope to place a pal- 
ітопу lawyer outside every 
bedroom. You want to call 
in an air strike every time 
a woman doesn't reach cli- 
тах, or sue for damages 
every time she has to sit 
through an action movie 
or he through some Eliz- 
abethan epic. It's not ei- 
ther-or. How about both- 
and? My turn-your turn? 
Your analysis reeks of a 
coffee Klatsch. 


STARR STRUCK 

1 take exception to 
James Bovard's char- 
acterization of two Su- 
preme Court decisions 
described in his article “Ken Starr's 
Greatest Hits” (The Playboy Forum, 
March). Rather than being novel inter- 
pretations of constitutional law to ap- 
pease an overzealous solicitor general, 
the decisions in Florida ws. Bostick and 
United States vs. Williams were in keep- 

ing with well-established precedents. 
In Bostick, the Court overturned а 
la ruling which held that all po- 


are inherently coercive. In this case, a 
trial court had determined that the of- 
ficers explicitly informed the passen- 
gers that they could refuse to submit 
to searches of their baggage. The Su- 
preme Court simply said that a judg- 
ment of whether such searches are co- 
ercive must be made on a case-by-case 
basis and cannot be disallowed simply 
because they happen to take place on 
a bus. The point is that this decision 


AAA A 
Allowing 
prosecutors to 
deceive grand 
juries turns 
them into 
rubber stamps 
for vendettas. 


@ == шае. 


reemphasizes the Court's history of 
holding that police are free to ask ques- 
tions of citizens and perform warrant- 
less searches so long as they have that 
person's uncoerced permission. 

In Williams, the Court reaffirmed the 
standard interpretation of the English 
common-law view of grand j 
that the prosecutor's pos 
supreme. The majority opinion noted 
that Congress is free to make laws reg- 
ulating the presentation of evidence, 
but in the absence of such legislation, 
legal precedent demands that prosecu- 
tors maintain the status quo. 

After reading the Court's opinions in 
these cases, I am left to conclude that 
Bovard, in his zeal to portray Ken Starr 
as an unethical would-be despot, has 
resorted to selective reporting. 

Geoffrey Teets 

Louisville, Kentucky 

You claim that the Bos- 
tick decision was іп keep- 
ing with well-established 
court precedents. Sweep 
searches on buses are a 
relatively recent develop- 
ment, so there is no clear 
basis for comparison with 
our common-law heritage. 
There is no question that 
some agencies acted in had 
faith: If someone refused 
to consent to a search, he 
was forcibly searched. Al- 
ternately, as one DEA 
agent explained, police 
farther along the bus route 
would be alerted m time to 
gel a warrant based on the 
earlier refusal. Starr's ar- 
gument in the Bostick case 
rested on a blind faith in 
law enforcement, He ar- 
gued: “Because law enforcement officers in 
this country must respect an individual's 
right to be left alone, the ‘police state’ images 
invoked by the Florida Supreme Court miss 
the mark.” 

In the second case, courts have never ex- 
plicitly granted prosecutors unlimited power 
over grand juries. Allowing prosecutors to 
deceive grand juries turns them into rubber 
stamps for political vendeltas. Yet Starr ef- 
fectively insisted thal judges must have blind 
faith in prosecutors—no questions asked— 
regardless of any evidence of misconduct. 


We would like to hear your point of view. 
Send questions, opinions and quirky stuff 
to: The Playboy Forum Reader Response, 
PLAYBOY 680 North Lake Shore Drive, Chi- 
cago, Illinois 60611. Please include a day- 
time telephone number. Fax number: 312- 
951-2939. E-mail: forum@playbey.com 
(please include your city and state). 


FORU m 7 


п and again, the same situa- 
tion occurs. 


1n 1974 a jury convicted Joseph 
Green Brown for murder, rape and 
robbery Testifying against Brown was 
Ronald Floyd. Several months after the 
trial, Floyd admitted he had lied at tri- 
al. He said he had testified to avoid 
prosecution for the murder and to re- 
ceive a lighter sentence on another 
crime. Brown spent 13 years on death 
row before being released 

In 1977 Randall Dale Adams was 
convicted of murdering a police officer. 
The prosecution's key evidence against 
him was the testimony of David Harris, 
who claimed to have been with Adams 
when Adams shot the officer. In return 
for Harris’ testimony, prosecutors did 
not charge him with anything. Adams 
spent 12 years on death row before 
proving his innocence. 

In 1983 Anthony Silah Brown was 
convicted and sentenced to death for 
murdering a deliveryman. Another 
man who had been arrested for the 
same murder implicated Brown as an 
accomplice. This man was given a deal 
in return for his testimony. Brown 
served three years on death row before 
he was acquitted of all charges in a re- 
trial. The witness admitted he had lied. 

In 1983 Charles Smith was sen- 
tenced to death for murder and rob- 
bery. The prosecution called as a wit- 
ness a man who admitted to having 
been the getaway driver, and who 
claimed that Smith had committed the 
murder. It emerged at a retrial that the 
witness had testified after making a 
deal with the prosecution that allowed. 
him to avoid a murder charge. Smith 
spent eight years on death row. 

In 1989 Joseph Burrows was con- 
victed of murder and armed robbery. 
The prosecution's primary evidence 
was the testimony of the two men who 
also had been charged with the mur- 
der. Direct evidence implicated the 
two, but by naming an alleged accom- 
plice they escaped the death penalty. 
Burrows spent five years on death row 
before a court reversed his conviction 
and dropped all charges. 

In each of these cases, and many 
more that were examined at tbe Na- 
tional Conference on Wrongful Con- 
victions and the Death Penalty, an 


innocent man was convicted of murder 
and sentenced to die on the basis of 
testimony Бу a jailhouse snitch seeking 
reduced charges or preferential treat- 
ment, Witnesses lied to avoid the death 
penalty for crimes they themselves had 
commitied. In each case it took years to 
unravel their deceit. 

The snitch culture is so embedded 
in our judicial system that there is now 
an entire industry of convicts who buy 
information from other criminals or 
friends on the outside that allows them 
to rat and cut off 
years from their sen- 
tences. And prosecu- 
tors go along. The 
snitch enables them 
to clear cases and to 
inflate their convic- 
tion rates. 

The snitch culture 
has become a crucial 
clement in the war 
on drugs. For the 
past decade, the fed- 
eral government has 
rewarded drug users 
and dealers with re- 
duced sentences and 
cash—so long as they 
finger someone else. 

In 1986 Congress 
passed mandatory 
minimum sentences. 
Sell enough drugs 
and you face five years to life in prison. 
Two years later, the law was amend- 
ed 一 anyone involved in a drug deal 
would get the maximum sentence. 
There didn't even have to be drugs ex- 
changed. Just talking about the sale of 
drugs was evidence of conspiracy. 

The only way to avoid the maximum 
was 10 turn on your confederates (or al- 
most anyone else you could finger as a 
drug dealer) and provide “substantial 
nce" to narcotics officers. 
Federal prosecutors have an over- 
whelming conviction rate in such cases, 
prompting Nora Callahan, an advocate 
for drug war prisoners, to note that 
“there are thousands of people sitting 
in prison because of bought testimony 
alone, with no other evidence against 
them. It is an affront to justice, and to 
humanity itself, And it’s important for 
people to remember that this could 


By JAMES R. PETERSEN 


happen to anyone, to anyone's child.” 
On January 12 Frontline broadcast a 
report on the fallout from mandatory 
minimums. Again and again, the same 
situation arose: Big-time dealers would 
lie to avoid maximum sentences. Drug 
kingpins received payouts, lighter sen- 
tences or complete freedom for turn- 
ing in the little fish—or in some cases 
people who were completely innocent. 


Only 11 percent of the prisoners serv- 
ing time for drug crimes are kingpins; 
52 percent are users or low-level street 
dealers. 


The report chronicled the case of 


Clarence Aaron, a college athlete who 
was paid $1500 to drive his cousin and 
some high school friends to meet peo- 
ple he knew were involved in drugs 
Upon arrest, the cousin and his accom- 
plices—all of whom had criminal 
records—agreed to “cooperate” for 
lighter sentences. The ringleader drew 
12 years. Two accomplices served less 
than five years. The cousin went free. 
Aaron received three life sentences 
with no chance of parole. He didn't 
have anyone to turn in. 

Aaron's story is no aberration. Sonya 
Singleton, 25, was accused by the feds 
of money laundering and conspiracy to 
distribute cocaine. They offered her a 


deal and told her that if she would ad- 
mit to wiring money to her boyfriend— 
whom the government claimed was the 
biggest drug dealer in Wichita—she 
would receive less than a year. Single- 
ton refused, maintaining she was inno- 
cent. Indeed, the boyfriend was nev- 
er prosecuted. Another drug dealer, 
seeking to lower his sentence, testified 
against Singleton. On the basis of that 
testimony, she was convicted and sen- 
tenced to 46 months in jail 

Singleton's lawyer, John Wachtel, ap- 
pealed, using an in- 
teresting argument: 
Offering leniency or 
sentence reduction 
for the right testi- 
mony violated the 
federal law against 
bribery. “Whoever 
directly or indirectly 
gives, offers or promi- 
ses anything of valuc 
to any person, for or 
because of the testi- 
mony under cath or 
affirmation given or 
to be given by such a 
person as a witness 
upon a trial” shall be 
fined or imprisoned. 

А panel of three 
judges from the 
Jenth Circuit Court 
of Appeals agreed 
with Wachtel: “Promising something of 
value to secure truthful testimony is as 
much prohibited as buying perjured 
f justi 
verted when a criminal defe 
seeks to buy testimony from a 


ness, 
o less perverted when the govern- 
ment does so." 

For a moment it looked as though 


prosecutors would have to go out and 
investigate cases the old-fashioned 
way—with physical evidence, motive 
and opportunity. 

In January, the full Tenth Circuit 
Court of Appeals overturned the pan- 
el's decision, ruling in a 9-3 vote that 
enforcing the antibribery law would 
have made criminals of federal prose- 
cutors. The panel's ruling, 
“patently absurd." For now, prosecu- 
tors are free to go after the big fish, the 
little fish and also the innocent 


51 


52 


N “Б. OW 


SFR 


O N Т 


what's happening in the sexual and social arenas 


SPACE INVADERS 


NEW YORK—The U.S. Customs Service 
strip-searched about 1700 people at air- 
ports last year in pursuit of contraband, 
but the invasive procedure prompted law- 


suits. Last fall the agency began offering 
some detainees at JFK and Miami Inter- 
national two options: Stay at the airport 
for a strip search or travel in handcuffs 
0 a medical center for an X ray. Not спе 
traveler chose the X тау. Officials suspect 
that travelers find the strip search less in- 
convenient, and that those carrying drugs 
internally (i.e., wrapped in condoms and 
swallowed) know the X ray would give 
them away. 


LOW PLEASURE ZONE 


CHICACO 一 4 substantial number of 
Americans suffer from sexual problems, 
according to a survey of 3159 adults. 
Forty-three percent of female respondents 
and 31 percent of the men reported sexual 
dysfunction of some kind. A third of Ihe 
women said they lack interest in sex; about 
the same number of men said they climax 
too quickly. More than 25 percent of the 
women said they seldom have orgasms, as 
did eight percent of the men. Generally, 
younger women reported more pain dur- 
ing, and anxiety about, sex than older 
women, and single women were more like- 
ly to have problems than married women. 
Only ten percent of the men and about 20 
percent of the women said they had sought 
medical advice. 


LOOSE LOGIC 


ROME—Italy's highest appeals court 
ruled that а 45-year-old driving instructor 
could not be guilty of raping an 18-year- 
old student because she was wearing tight 
jeans. The all-male panel cited the “сот- 
mon knowledge that it is nearly impossible 
to even partially remove jeans from a per- 
son without their cooperation, since this 
operation is already very difficult for the 
wearer.” The panel added that if the girl 
had taken off her jeans in fear, well, she 
shouldn't have. The defendant's lawyer 
said the girl had consented to sex bul made 
up the rape story to appease her parents. 


THE BOOBS WIN 


HOLLYWOOD, FLORTDA—A cop fired for 
wearing a strip club T-shirt to a sensitivity 
training session got his job back, An arbi- 
trator ruled that while the officer showed 
“bad taste, insensitivity and poor judg- 
ment” by wearing his Booby Trap shirt, he 
did not break any rules and should receive 
back pay. The cop sard he had dressed т 
the dark because his wife was sleeping and 
realized he had worn the shirt only when 
he arrived for the class. 


PROFILE IN COURAGE 


DURHAM, NORTH GAROLINA— The local 
public library refused to cancel its sub- 
scription to PLAYBOY despite protests from 
а local Baptist minister who says the mag- 
azine "stimulates lust in the hearts of men, 
which can damage marriage.” The direc- 
tor of the library, which has received 
PLAYBOY for 25 years, says the magazine 
will remain because it is popular among 
patrons and has good articles. 


MORAL MEDICINE 


PITTSBURGH—A health clinic fired а 
Roman Catholic nurse who refused to dis- 
pense condoms or oral contraceptives to 
single people. Laura Merrioll had worked 
at the clinic part-time for six months before 
she renewed her commitment to the Catho- 
lic faith. Soon after, she informed her boss 
that she wanted to begin screening her ра- 
tients! marital status. Otherwise, Merriott. 
said, she would be encouraging "the sin of 
fornication." Noting that about 85 percent. 
of its clients are single, the clinic refused to 
reassign Merriott and fired her when she 
persisted. The nurse filed a civil rights 


lawsuit, saying she had been dismissed be- 
cause of her religious beliefs 


PHOTOS FOR SALE 


WASHINGTON, D.C—Image Data L 
had a bright idea: Purchase drivers’ li- 
cense photos from each state, then build a 
national database that allows merchants to 
instantly confirm a customer's identity be- 
fore accepting а credit card or personal 
check. Privacy advocates cried foul, espe- 
cially after learning that the Secret Service 
had paid Image Dala almost 81.5 million 
to help develop the database. Lawmak- 
ers who pushed for the federal funding 
thought that Image Data's TrueID system 
sounded like a great way to identify terror- 
ists and illegal aliens 


UNINVITED GUESTS 


ABBOTSFORD, BRITISH COLUMBIA —Six 
tactical officers casing a house before a 
Sunday aflernoon drug raid failed to no- 
tice that the suspect was throwing a birth- 
day party for his seven-year-old son. When 
the cops burst in with weapons drawn, they 
met resistance from the family's pit bull, 
which bit the shirtsleeve of one officer. A 
second officer shot and killed the dog in 
front of 13 horrified children and several 


parents. Police arrested the birthday boys 
father on drug charges. "We regret that 
this happened,” a police spokesman said. 


One parent complained, "My kids are up- 
set. I want to know why they couldn't have 
waited until after the party." 


© Philip Norris Inc. 1998. 
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PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: SAMUEL L. JACKSON 


а candid conversation with hollywood's top-grossing actor (believe it) about racism, 
the joy of golf, the nightmare of crack and what it’s like to act with yoda 


Name the actor who has appeared in more 
big movies in the Nineties: Hanks, Schwar- 
zenegger, Cruise, Willis, Williams? The an- 
swer is none of the above. The distinction 
goes to Samuel L. Jackson, the most prolifi 
African American actor in history—whose 
movies have earned а total of $1.2 billion 
this decade. And that doesn’t count Jackson's 
latest film, Star Wars: The Phantom Men- 
ace, the first of the Star Wars prequels and 
the most eagerly anticipated film of the year. 

Despite all those sold tickets, not to men- 
tion enough popcorn to fill the Grand Can- 
yon, Jackson remains one of the most under- 
rewarded actors iu the movie business. 
Consider that Matthew McConaughey, who 
gol his first big role opposite Jackson in the 
adaptation of John Grisham's A Time to Kill, 
soon commanded $6 million a picture—a 
figure it took Jackson more than 15 years to 
achieve. And McConaughey hasn't had an- 
other hit since. 

But that doesn't seem to bother Jackson, 
who is known to be a regular guy in a busi- 
ness of prima donnas. Instead of grumbling, 
Jackson is busy working—as his long and 
varied list of credits proves. 

Perhaps none of Jackson’s roles has made 
more of an impression than his port 
Jules Winnfield, the hit man in Quentin 
Tarantino's Pulp Fiction. Dialogue with his 
murderous partner, played by John Travolta, 


“This business is about money. An actor's job 
is lo get butts in the seats. So when they want 
а big-name white guy, I understand it. But 
there's still an element that wants to hold 
down the number of ethnic people.” 


and Jackson's recitations of Ezekiel 25:17 as 
prelude to his assassinations, are some of the 
most unforgettable moments in any movie. 
The role, created by Tarantino after the di- 
rector saw Jackson's performance in Spike 
Lee's Jungle Fever, earned Jackson his first 
Oscar nomination. (The Academy Awards 
show that year was also memorable. When he 
lost to Martin Landaw's performance іп Ed 
Wood, Jackson did what previous losers may 
have thought but never dared do on live TV: 
He said, “Shit.” And we knew it because we 
read his lips.) 

Besides Pulp Fiction, Jackson has ap- 
peared in a wide variety of movies (there 
have been more than 40 features in all) and 
rarely does he look the same. He played the 
earnest sidekick to Harrison Ford in Patriot 
Games, a reluctant sidekick to Bruce Willis 
in Die Hard With a Vengeance, a computer 
technician in Jurassic Park, an attorney in 
Losing Isaiah, a Don King-like promoter in 
The Great White Hype, а womanizing doctor 
in Eve's Bayou and a member of the Luft- 
hansa heist team in Goodfellas. 

Audiences like him and so do directors, 
many of whom call him back for subsequent 
films. He has been in four movies with Spike 
Lee, including Do the Right Thing, School 
Daze aud Jungle Fever, and Tarantino fol- 
lowed up Pulp Fiction by casting him as Or- 
dell Robbie in Jackie Brown. (That charac- 


“I didn't know any other шау to perform 
Шап being high. My friends and I would go 
to the theater, get dressed, put on makeup 
and smoke a reefer and drink wine. Гое done 
plays on acid and everything else.” 


ter—who repeatedly uses the word nigger— 
prompted а celebrated falling-out between 
Lee and Jackson.) Renny Harlin also called 
him back for encores in roles opposite Geena 
Davis in the raucous action film The Long 
Kiss Goodnight and then Deep Blue Sea. “I 
want Sam to be in every movie I make,” says 
Harlin. ‘Aside from being one of the best 
actors, he's respected by everyone on the 
set. When you have to get your cast to stand 
in cold water for hours, shooting a scene 
over and over, it's much easier when they scc 
Sam doing it and never complaining.” Says 
Joel Schumacher, director of A Time To Kill: 
“Sam can be sitting around joking, but when 
you say, Action,” he becomes the most intense 
and focused actor. I've never seen anyone 
with the facility to transform himself that 
quickly." 

Jackson had a modest upbringing in seg- 
regaled Chattanooga, Tennessee, where he 
was raised by his mother, abeth, his 
grandparents and an aunt. His father aban- 
doned the family and quit the Army so he 
wouldn't have to pay child support. Father 
and son did not meet again until Jackson 
was grown—it was not a storybook reunion. 

Asa child, Jackson enjoyed movies and TV. 
and was а voracious reader. In high school 
he swam competitively, ran hurdles on the 
track team, played horn in the marching 
band and was senior class president. 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY MIZUNO 
“Bad guys are people, too. Most people think 
that if you're playing a killer, you've got to be 
emotionless. But killers have kids at home. 
They watch TV and play with their kids and 
help them do their homework.” 


PLAYBOY 


Не enrolled at Morehouse College in At- 
lanta intending to become a marine biolo- 
gist. That plan changed when he acted in his 
first play, a production of The Threepenny 
Opera, and was introduced to two lasting 
passions: the theater and his future wife, La- 
Tanya Richardson. 

During the Sixties, Jackson was part of 
а group of student activists who locked up 
campus irustees in an effort to get more stu- 
deut input into school decisions. For his 
short-lived involvement in campus politics, 
Jackson was temporarily suspended, but he 
returned and graduated with a BA in drama 
in 1972. 

With Richardson and other actors, he 
formed a theater company and, in 1976, 
moved with her to New York to pursue a 
stage career. Both he and LaTanya—they 
have been together 29 years and married for 
19—acted steadily, though he had to fill in 
with other jobs to make ends meet. Still, һе 
made a name for himself in such productions 
as A Soldier's Play, The Piano Lesson (he 
originated Ihe lead role that later earned a 
Tony nomination for Charles 8. Dutton) and 
Two Trains Running, along with his first 
small parts in films and such TV shows as 
Spenser: For Hire. His wife, who would lat- 
er appear in Malcolm X, U.S. Marshals and 
as Jackson's opposing altorney in. Losing 
Isaiah, performed in Colored Girls and oth- 
er productions. 

Jackson admits he was a heavy drug user 
and alcoholic in those days. He claims he 
outpartied almost everyone until, after eight 
months on crack, he succumbed to pressure 
from his wife and entered a rehab program. 
He kicked the habit just in time to land the 
role that launched him into the limelight, in 
Spike Lee’s Jungle Fever. He played a crack 
addict. 

He made his debut as a producer with 
Eve's Bayou (and is also producing other 
films, including a police drama with Matt 
Damon called Training Day). His most re- 
cent coup is landing the role of Shaft, the 
tough-guy detective portrayed by Richard 
Roundtree in the 1971 film being remade by 
director John Singleton. 

When he's not working, Jackson is home 
in Encino, California with LaTanya and 
their 17-year-old daughter, Zoe, Whether he 
is working or not, he indulges his other 
obsession, golf; in his movie deals, he insists 
on а clause that allows for golf time and 
greens fees. 

With The Phantom Menace hitting the 
theaters, we asked Daily Variety columnist 
Michoel Fleming (who previously interviewed 
Robert Downey Jr. and Joe Eszterhas for 
PLAYBOY) fo track down the hardworking ас- 
tor. Here's Fleming's report: 

“I met Jackson at the Sunset Marquis Ho- 
tel in West Hollywood just before his 50th 
birthday. In his sunglasses, trademark black 
Kangol cap and matching shirt, Jackson 
looked incredibly cool and confident after 
playing 54 holes of golf. (Yes, he loves the 
game.) A waiter interrupted our conver- 
sation to pay his respects, gushing about 


56 how he admired Jackson's performance with 


ен Barkin in Bad Company. ‘That was 
Fishburne,’ Jackson said after the waiter left, 
acknowledging that this wasn't the first time 
he'd been mistaken for Laurence. Bul rather 
than embarrass the fan, he laughed about it 
and mentioned later that he has frequently 
given out Fishburne's autograph, and Fish- 
burne his. 

“As the first interview session came to a 


close, Jackson seemed giddy as he headed off 


to collect his birthday present to himself. 
He showed it off the next morning, when he 
pulled up at the hotel іп a new black Porsche 
convertible. Jackson is as cool as he is cal- 
culating. Confessing he'd golten standard 
shift, he said, “My daughter only drives an 
automati 


PLAYBOY: You could not have chosen a 
more cagerly anticipated film than the 
latest Star Wars episode. How did you get 
the gig? 

JACKSON: When I do interviews, some- 
one always asks, “Are there any directors 
you want to work with?” I usually say no. 
Normally I just read scripts, and whatev- 
er director comes with the script is fine. 
But I realized George Lucas was about 


That's not who I am. My 
hair's not always going to be 
the same. Гт not going to 
talk the same. I play guys 
with different social ambi- 
tions. I like bad guys. 


to do Star Wars, and 1 really wanted to be 
in a Star Wars mov So in interviews I 
started saying, “Га really love ro work 
with George Lucas.” As a result, George 
invited me to his ranch. I told him, “І 
don't care what part you give те. ГЇЇ 
be a stormtrooper—anything.” He said, 
"Probably the most you'd be saying is, 
"Look out! Duck" Stuff like that.” And I 
said, "George, that's cool. Anything.” 
PLAYBOY: In the end, Lucas made you a 
Jedi. Is that a fantasy come true? 
JACKSON: Oh, yeah. There was a great 
moment on the set when a guy came 
over with a bunch of light sabers in a 
case and said, “Pick onc." 

PLAYBOY: How did you choose? Come to 
what was it like to wield one of 
those mythical weapons? 

JACKSON: І didn't get the chance to use it. 
But the good news is that my character 
doesn't die and there's another movie 
coming. I think I've got a shot at it. 
PLAYBOY: You share scenes with Yoda. 
Any problems playing opposite a leg- 
endary puppet? 

JACKSON: George Lucas doesn't give you 
the whole script, just your scenes, and it 
was the coolest thing to find out that I 


would be interacting with Yoda. It meant 
my role would be an important part of 
the film. Fm sitting there, trying to keep 
it together and getinto my character, but 
Tm also thinking, Wow. I can't believe 
I'm here with Yoda. 
PLAYBOY: How does it feel to become a 
Star Wars action figure? 
JACKSON: It actually looks like me. After 
Jurassic Park, my relatives were asking 
“Where's your action figure?” I didn't 
have one. Now I do. 
PLAYBOY: This movie had more advance 
press than almost any movie in history. 
Does that add to the pressure? 
JACKSON: The expectations are pretty 
high. I'm sure there will be favorable 
and unfavorable comparisons. We did 
our work, but it was all in George's 
hands. George is very calm. Nothing 
bothers him. There was stuff going on 
that would have made most directors 
crazy—things falling in the background, 
noise, planes flying over. And George 
goes, “OK, print it.” I guess he has to do 
so much in postproduction that it's not a 
big deal. He’s the only one who knows 
how the stuff works anyway. 
PLAYBOY: You have been in an average of 
two or three films a year for the past five 
years. Do you worry that you could be- 
come overexposed? 
JACKSON: And therefore I should work 
less? Are you kidding? First of all, I'm se- 
lective about what I do, but I want to 
work as much as 1 can. Movie stars do 
опе movie a year for $20 million, but I'm 
not one of those guys. І don't make that 
much money and don't need it, but 1 do 
need to work for the comfortable life- 
style we have. 1 am also aware that even- 
tually all of this is going to stop. The 
phone stops ringing for everybody: Greg- 
ory Peck, Sidney Poitier. Everybody. So 
while I'm able, ГІІ generate as much 
income as I can. And come on, Travol- 
ta makes $20 million a picture and he 
makes four movies a year. Nobody men- 
tions that. 
PLAYBOY: Do you resent the pay difler- 
ence between you and Travolta? 
JACKSON: It's a sliding pay scale. It's 
about putting butts into seats. Produc- 
ers and studio heads don't look 10 me 
for that. They don't say, “Let's give him 
$20 million because the movie's going to 
open huge because of his name.” 
PLAYBOY: The number of films you've 
done has made you the top-grossing ac- 
tor of the decade. But to be fair, neither 
Jurassic Park nor Die Hard are thought of 
‘as Samuel L. Jackson movies. 
JACKSON: Т They aren't movies driv- 
en by me. They could have put anybody 
іп Jurassic Park. The dinosaurs were the 
ars of that one. Die Hard is a Bruce 
vehicle, and that's cool—I knew 
that going in. But it could have been 
a run-of-the-mill chase movie. Put peo- 
ple like me and Jeremy Irons in it and 
you have real human beings alongside 
that superman, John McClane. So we do 


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PLAYBOY. You seem the opposite of the $20 million-a picture 
guys, who continue to play variations of the same character 
time after time. 

JACKSON: There are guys who are very successful doing that 
They get painted into a corner and they get this look on their 
faces, and all of a sudden you know. 
ready to fix this thing.” People pay money to 
that’s what 1 want when I pay to see a Harrison Ford film. But 
that’s not who І am. And people accept the fact that even 
my hair's not always going to be the same. I'm not going to 
talk the same. I play guys with different social ambitions. 1 like 
bad guys. 

PLAYBOY: How do you choose films? Are you trying to mix big 
action movies with art films? 

JACKSON: І don't think about that 一 my agents and managers 
do. I just work. When I was in the theater I was always doing 
a play and auditioning for another at the same time. Now, I 
am constantly looking for my next movie. I don't have jobs 
lined up or scripts lying around my house. 

PLAYBOY: In The Negotiator, 187 and The Long Kiss Goodnight, 
you played parts originally written for white actors. Do you 
ever miss out on roles you want because of your race? 
JACKSON: І go to meetings all the time to convince people I'm 
the actor they should hire. If I read a script І like, І go to my 
agent or manager and say, “І really like this. Do you think 1 
could get a meeting to discuss it?" They call and the produc- 
ers go, "Sam Jackson! We never thought of going that way. 
Wow! That's interesting." Sometimes they ask me to come in 
to discuss it, and 1 end up convincing them that the dynamics 
of the story won't change because I'm African American. Be- 
fore 1 got 187, 1 sat there with director Kevin Reynolds for an 
hour and a half, explaining how I would make the movie bet- 
ter. They wanted someone white, but I explained that we've 
all seen Dangerous Minds, in which a white teacher goes into an 
inner-city school and the kids hate her because she's white. 
But 197 was about authority figures and not about гасе. If yuu 
put somebody like me in the school and students still rebel, it's 
more interesting. Reynolds got it, but not until I talked 
to him. 

PLAYBOY: Do you take it personally when race stops you from 
getting a role you want? 

JACKSON: I liked the script for the lead role ofa priest in a Fox 
movie called The Sin Eater. It went to Antonio Banderas. No- 
body could wrap their mind around a black priest [laughs]. It's 
nobody's fault. І think I only do the jobs I'm supposed to do. 
PLAYBOY: No resentment? 

JACKSON: If a director doesn't hire me, I feel sorry for him. 
PLAYBOY: You once said you received lots of scripts turned 
down by Denzel Washington. Whose fingerprints are on the 
scripts you get now? 

JACKSON: It's the same story. They tell me, "We want you, Sam, 
but we need a star" They get a Tommy L 
the script out to a Harrison Ford. But that's cool, because the 
guy who's investing the money is looking at the forcign pre- 
sale potential with those two guys after The Fugitive. Now at 
least there are better fingerprints on the scripts I get They're 
not just ethnic fingerprints. They're $20 million-star prints. It 
makes me feel better 

PLAYBOY: The Long Kiss Goodnight was written for a white guy 
To make a big budget action movie with a female heroine was 
unusual; to pair her with a black sidekick and include a few 
sexual sparks was unheard of. Did you have to do some con- 
vincing on that one? 

JACKSON: My character, Mitch, was written white, yeah. And 
that was another script I'd been chasing awhile. І campaigned 
and campaigned, and people would dance around and say, 
“Well, we don't know.” Renny Harlin was to direct it, and 1 
ran into him ata dinner party one night and we talked. He 
had no problem with it, and his wife, Geena Davis, was play- 
ing the woman. So it was done. The story changed, though. At 
one point there was a tryst between the two characters. They 


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fell into bed and had sex. But I wasn't in 
favor of it. It had nothing to do with 
race. My reasoning was that it was better 
to keep the tension. If they started fu 
ing, there was nowhere to go with it— 
like in most relationships. 

PLAYBOY: Harlin felt that movie didn't do 
as well as it should have because of rac- 
ism—people didn't want to see a black 
man in a close relationship with a white 
woman. Do you agree? 

JACKSON: That doesn't fly with me. I 
think it was more that it was a women's 
film. Women like seeing themselves em- 
powered, and one was empowered here. 
But they marketed it to men. Instead 
of buying commercial time on football 
games, they should have bought time on 
daytime soaps. It was bad marketing. No 
matter vhere I go in the world, women 
come up to me and tell me how much 
they loved that movie. They should have 
marketed it to women 

PLAYBOY: A decade ago, there were far 
fewer opportunities for African Ameri- 
can actors. The best that Lou Gossett Jr. 
could do after his Oscar-winning role in 
Ап Officer and a Gentleman was Jaus 3-D. 
Now there's a wealth of black actors: 
you, Washington, Will Smith, Eddie Mur- 
phy, Morgan Freeman, Cuba Gooding 
Jr, Ving Rhames, Laurence Fishburne, 
Wesley Snipes and Don Cheadle. Has 
the world changed? 

JACKSON: As the number of black film- 
makers increases, the world changes. I 
grew up in a segregated society and I 
am part of the last generation that re- 
members it. Even down South people 
have gone to school and interacted with 
blacks, Asians and Hispanics all their 
lives now. They see the world differently. 
And now blacks. Asians and Hispanics 
are going to film school waving their 
and making their own films 
PLAYBOY: But isn't race still an issue? In 
the foreign adveı 
they used posters with a faraway shot of 
you carrying a brielcase through the des- 
ert—only they made you white. 
JACKSON: Yeah. They tried to tell me, 
“We don't want to give away the plot of 
the movie.” Right. That was a South Af- 
rican guy who was the head of market- 
ing. So we just attribute it to him not re- 
ally understanding. We made him pull 
the poster and the next thing you know, 
the guy in it has his back to the camera. 
But he still has Caucasian hair. OK, fine 
It's one of those things. They didn't want 
posters circulating with some black guy 
on them, but with Die Hard there were 
posters all over Europe with my face on 
them. Some had Jeremy Irons, some 
had Bruce and some had me. So what 
does that tell you? Is it ly bad mar- 
keting in Europe to use a black face? 
PLAYBOY: Is Hollywood racist? 

JACKSON: This business is about making 
money. An actor's job is to get butts in 
the seats. I get that. So when they want a 
big-name white guy, І understand it. But 


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there's still an element that wants to hold 
down the number of ethnic people іп 
movies. When Rush Hour became a big 
hit, a lot of the white executives were 
saying, “That Jackie Chan movie is go- 
ing through the roof!” I'd ask, "What 
Jackie Chan movie?" They'd say, “Rush 
Hour,” and Га say, “That's not a Jacki 
Chan movie. It's a Chris Tucker movie 
“No,” they'd say, "Jackie Char's really 
big in America." I'd say, "What the fuck 
are you talking about? The last two mov- 
ies Jackie Chan released here didn't 
make $5 million. All of a sudden this 
opens at almost $20 million? Those are 
black people coming out to see Chris 
Tucker.” They never even considered it. 
If they were to try doing Rush Hour H 
without Chris, they'd 
see how much they 
would make. Nobody 
other than Chris 
Tucker could have 
made some bullshit 
like Money Talks and 
still have it make a 
profit. My boy Char- 
lie Sheen was there, 
but it's not a Charlie 
Sheen movie. It's à 
Chris Tucker movie. 
But Hollywood's ig- 
noring that these 
movies are success- 
ful because of Chris 
keeps bim out of the 
$20 million club. 
PLAYBOY: Are you po- 
litically active? 
JACKSON: I go to pre- 
mieres, and folks start 
asking me, "How do 
you feel about the 
president?" I think, 
What the fuck do peo- 
ple care what I think 
about the president? 
I'm an actor. All 
those actors out there 
stumping for this 
candidate or that can- 
didate, it's bullshit. 
They don't do any- 
thing past that. They 
raise some money and they're out of 
there. Or they just voice their opinion 
"That Dalai Lama is my boy." 

PLAYBOY: So your soapbox message is for 
celebrities to get off their soapboxes? 
JACKSON: Just pay your taxes. Stop stand- 
ing up and saying, “We need to lend our 
money to so-and-so." You make $20 mil- 
lion a picture. Shut the fuck up and give 
them a million dollars. Don't ask Joe 
Everyday for $5. He might need that $5 
You've got money to burn. 1 dont like 
giving my political opinions. Paparazzi 
don't bother me. I'm not punching guys 
with cameras. I know that's their job, 
and if you don't want to get caught fuck- 
ing, don't fuck around [laughs]. The 


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as an everyday guy who just happens 
to have an unusual job, the better off 
my life is going to be. I don't think I'm 
extraordinary. 

PLAYBOY: You make the bad guys you 
play—the really bad guys, such as Jules 
Winnfield in Pulp Fiction and Ordell 
Robbie in Jackie Brown—likable. What's 
the trick? 

JACKSON: You humanize them. Jules was 
more than just a hit man. He Killed peo- 
ple for a living, but he was a real guy: He 
watches TV, goes to the store, has a girl- 
friend. He's a regular guy with an inter- 
esting job. Ordell is 2 dangerous guy, 
too, but he's fun to be around. He talks 
like everybody else. He fights with his 
girlfriend like everybody else. Bad guys 


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are people, too. Most people think that 
if you're playing a killer, you've got to 
be emotionless. But 
home. They don't sit at home all day and 
clean their guns and shine their bullets. 
They watch TV and play with their kids 
and help them do their homework. 
PLAYBOY Do the humanizing facts come 
from the script? 

JACKSON: Depends. If the character isn't 
fleshed out in the script, | make up the 
rest of the story myself: a birthplace, a 
social stratum, if he had parents, what 
his parents did. In high school, was he 
a jock? A recluse? A smartass? You put 
this together and create a whole person, 
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self upright because he's alway 
very proud, or an athlete. If he's not so 
proud, he slumps 

PLAYBOY: Some great actors stay in char- 
acter between takes. On Last of the Mo- 
hicans, Daniel Day-Lewis apparently 
stayed in character. acting like Daniel 
Boone, whether he was doing a scene or 
not. Robert De Niro did the same thing 
during Goodfellas. Have you tried meth- 
od acting? 

JACKSON: As soon as they say cut, Sam 
shows up. My telephone rings. It's my 
agent. How would Daniel Day-Lewis 
deal with that? His agent calls him in the 
middle of a shooting day, he doesnt 
want to talk to fuckin’ Daniel Boone. He 
wants to talk to Daniel Day-Lewis! Guess 
he couldn't watch TV 
in his trailer, either: 
“Strange box stealing 
spirit.” If it works for 
him, fine. It's the bad 
actors who do it that 
bother me. 

PLAYBOY: Quentin Tar- 
antino wrote the part 
of Jules in Pulp Fiction 
for you. How did ıhat 
come about? 
JACKSON: Right after 
Jungle Fever, Quentin 
wanted to meet with 
me and thought I was 
perfect for this thing 
he was writing. We 
met somewhere off 
of Hollywood Boule- 
vard, sat there having 
dinner and talking 
about stuff like Hong 
Kong movies. He nev- 
er told me what he 
was writing, just that 
he hoped I would like 
it. The script came in 
а plain brown wrap- 
per with a Jersey 
Films logo on it. It 
said, "If you show this 
to anybody, two guys 
from Jersey will break 
your legs." I read it 
and, damn, I couldn't believe it. When I 
finished it, I actually went right back to 
the beginning and read it through again. 
Awesome script. I thought, If whoever 
produces this vill leave it alone and just 
shoot it like it is on these pages, it's go- 
ing to be awesome. Still, I didn't think it 
was going to be one of those off-the- 
board h 
PLAYBOY: Though it was written for you, 
you almost lost the role. 

JACKSON: Yeah. One day I got a phone 
call asking me to come and read through 
the part, because they wanted to hear 
what Jules sounded like. So I did. In the 
meantime Га been cast in the movie 
Fresh. | went to New York to shoot Fresh 
for Lawrence Bender, who was also thc 


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producer of Pulp Fiction. Y got wind that 
some actor had auditioned for another 
role so small that he read Jules’ part so 
they could see what he could do. And 
he'd blown them out ofthe room. All of 
a sudden, 
guy just blew us away" 

PLAYBOY: What did you do? 

JACKSON: І said, “What the hell do you 
mean, giving my job to somebody else 
My agents and managers are calling [es 
ecutive producers] Harvey and Bob 
Weinstein, telling them that nobody said 
I had to audition. Harvey and Bob called 
Quentin and Lawrence and told them, 
ОК, to be fair, Sam's got to read again.” 
All of a sudden I'm іп an acting contest 
Ме and this other actor, who I won't 
name. I'm in New York shooting Fresh, 
and I have to get on the redeye on a Sat 
Sunda 
and audition. I'm on the plane, scrib 
bling furiously, writing notes in the mar 

gins, underlining the beats and doing 
this whole thing I normally do over the 
course of a project, or what I would have 
done had I known I was auditioning. | 
get to the studio and nobody's there. 
The place is empty. Maybe half an hour 
later, everybody files in. Quentin, Law- 
rence, all these other guys. And Law- 
rence goes to introduce me to another 
producer, who says, “You don't need to 
introduce me to this man. І love your 
work, Mr. Fishburne.” I'm like, Damn! 
He doesn't even know who the fuck Lam 
or why Um here. Now I'm really pissed, 
just steaming. Fuck them. We start with 
the first scene with John and me in the 
car. They got this guy they've hired to 
read. He's reading and I'm doing my 
Jules thing. And all of a sudden, he stops 
reading. I'm thinking, What the hell’s 
going on? And I realize this guy's lost, 
because he's watching me. He's caught 
up in what's going on. So I know I'm 
cooking. We go through the killing room 
scene and we get to the diner, that last 
huge speech I make. The whole room's 
getting excited. And I look around and 
everybody's like, “Whoa.” I get up, real 
professional, and I split, go back to New 
York. And when Lawrence comes back, 
he tells me, “Well, the job's yours." Turns 
out that the reason nobody was around 
when I got there was they had all gone to 
lunch because the other guy had come in 
again before me and had done this fabu- 
lous job, and they were sitting there try 

ing to fig 
tell me they cast the guy. But Lawrence 


am was good, but this 


urday night to get to LA on 


out how they were going to 


said that until I did that last speech in 
the diner, they never had seen how the 
movie was supposed to end 

PLAYBOY Your dialogue in the film 15 
some of the most memorable ever. Was it 
all exactly as written in the script or did 
you improve it? 

JACKSON: About 98 percent of what's on- 
screen was on the page. Why would you 
change something so good? I'm not a 
writer, though I know how characters 


talk. I may have put a word in a char- 
acter's mouth with Quentin's permis- 
sion, but it was all in the script. Quentin 
thinks he writes great black dialogue; he 
writes interesting black dialogue, bui 
not pure. Like most white people, he'll 
put an "I be" somewhere because it's 
supposed to sound black. I'd never say 
that. I went to school. The character, 
even if he didn't go to school, has heard 
enough people talk to know better—no- 
body talks like that anymore. You have 
to be real, real dumb to talk that way. So 
1 fixed things up a little. 

PLAYBOY: You apparently got into a war 
of words with Spike Lec over the dia- 
logue in the subsequent Tarantino film, 
Jackie Brown. He objected to the use of 
the N word. 

JACKSON: Come on, you can say it 
[laughs]. In truth, І wasn't trying to de- 
fend Quentin or shoot Spike down. I've 
said "nigger" in Spike Lee movies. He 
just thought Quentin used the word ex- 
cessively. People have said that about 
Pulp Fiction too. The Hughes brothers 
came to me with that very same thing. 
“What the fuck is up with Quentin and 
this ‘nigger’ thing?” I said, “And how 
es did you use it in Menace II 
Oh, that's different.” “Bullshit. 
You wrote your script, he wrote his.” 
With Ordell, I may have said it three 
times more than Quentin wrote, because 
that was who Ordell was. For Spike to 
say, “Well, I use the word at home, but 
Quentin's got no right.” Bullshit. And if 
he really thought Quentin was a racist, 
why put him in Girl 6? He had Quen- 
un in Girl 6 looking at a black woman's 
breasts. Was that a metaphorical mas- 
ter-slave thing we didn’t get? [Laughs] 
PLAYBOY: You were in most of Spike Lee’s 
early movies but none of the recent 
ones. Why? 
JACKSON: We have our differences. After 
Jungle Fever, he wanted me to work for 
scale in Malcolm X and 1 wouldn't do it. 1 
worked for scale on Do the Right Thing 
and Mo’ Better Blues, but not on Fever. He 
said that as a producer, he was working 
for scale. I said that was beside the point. 
Га work with Spike if all the elements 
were correct, if he were going to pay an 
honest wage. But 1 haven't seen a Spike 
Lee script since Fever. Spike may believe 
that he can't afford me, which is fine. It 
might be true. 

PLAYBOY: You're apparently flexible. We 
understand you were paid about $5 mil- 
lion for The Negotiator, but $250,000 for 
Jackie Brun. 

JACKSON: 1 got a great big check from 
Jackie Brown the other day. There's that 
back-end thing. Spike never said to me, 
“Lets share the profits." He's never said 
that to anybody. My problem with Mal- 
colm X was, if this is for the people and 
it's about a higher purpose, then why 
don't we all get a point [a percentage 
of the film's profits]? Give everybody a 
point. He never talked about anything 


like that. Spike and I get along fine now, 
though. We had a talk about what hap- 
pened, and he still believes Quentin 
could have edited out 40 of those “nig- 
gers" and the movie would have been 
the same. But І take as much responsi- 
bility for them as Quentin. I could have 
said something. If Га thought it was of- 
fensive, I would have. Spike said Denzel 
got on Quentin when they were doing 
Crimson Tide. I don't know what hap- 
pened between Quentin and Denzel, but. 
when people give me this bullshit thing 
about being a role model and my effect 
оп society, I say bullshit to you. If people 
want to know if I'm a role model, they 
should know I've been married to the 
same woman for 19 ycars. I drove my 
daughter's car pool until she started driv- 
ing. I help her with her homework. I 
make up beds, I take out the garbage. I 
graduated from college. I can read and 
write. | can speak correctly. I treat every- 
one with respect. I pay my taxes. Tve 
never been to jail. I think that's the stuff 
of a role model. 

PLAYBOY: Pulp Fiction brought you an Os- 
car nomination for Best Supporting Ac- 
tor. When you lost, the world saw your 
reaction on live TV. You clearly said, 
“Shit.” Do you regret that moment? 
JACKSON: Oh, no. Why would I? І always 
hated those four little pictures in the cor- 
ners, when they name the winner and 
everybody claps in a phony manner. I 
hate that shit, because you know they're 
sitting there going, Fuck. Especially if 
they think they should have won. 
PLAYBOY: Martin Landau, who won for 
Ed Wood, was the favorite. Did you ex- 
pect to win anyway? 

JACKSON: It never crossed my mind go- 
ing to the Academy Awards that year 
that І was going to win. I'd been to the 
Golden Globes, and Martin Landau had 
won. Screen Actors Guild, Martin Lan- 
dau again. Only during that fleeting mo- 
ment vhen they called my name did I 
say to myself, Well, maybe the law of 
averages is going to change things. It 
didn't, and I said, "Shit." I didn't care. It 
was no reflection on Martin Landau. But 
the strangest thing was that everybody 
kept saying to me, "You know, Martin 
Landau's been nominated three or four 
times and he hasn't won. You'll get an- 
other shot.” And I said, “Bullshit. Mor- 
gan Freeman has been nominated three 
or four times, and he's never won. So 
what the fuck are you saying?" 

PLAYBOY: Do you think the violence in 
Pulp Fiction turned off the Academy's 
members? 

JACKSON: Maybe, but do you think they 
really watched Ed Wood? I tried to watch 
Ed Wood three times and fell asleep each 
time. Га wake up to that hissing you 
hear at the end of the tape. Never made 
it through The English Patient, either. 
Tried to watch it four times. By the üme 
Willem Dafoe showed up, every time, I 
was gone. Hissss. I just couldn't hang. I 


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didn't vote it Best Picture. If a movie 
can't keep me awake, how the hell can it 
be Best Picture? 

PLAYBOY: How important is winning an 
Oscar? 

JACKSON: Not at all anymore. I'm over it. 
I mean, in a fair world Га have three. 
PLAYBOY: For which films? 

JACKSON: Jungle Fever, Pulp Fiction and 
A Time to Kill. Maybe four, with Jackie 
Brown [laughs]. In a fair world. It's not 
going to validate my career one way or 
another at this point. 1 walk down the 
street every day and people tell me how 
much they like my work. That's impor- 
tant. It's not about, "This is the award 
winning role of the year,” even though 
my agents and managers say that to me 
all the time. They said that shit about The 
Negotiator. 

PLAYBOY: One of the films you mentioned 
as Oscar worthy was A Time to Kill, which 
launched the career of Matthew McCon- 
aughey. But you've been critical of how 
director Joel Schumacher limited your 
character, the father who murders the 
rednecks who raped his daughter. Could 
you tell us why? 

JACKSON: The first time 1 saw the film, I 
almost walked out. There was this huge 
scene І did, when I go to Jake's office be- 
fore killing the guys. I'm talking to him 
about what happened to my daughter 
I tell him the story he tells the jury at 
the end of the movie. About what they 
did, how she looks. When I finished the 
scene, everybody in the room had bro- 
ken down. They said it was awesome. It 
was one of those feelings when you've 
done something and you think, I nailed 
the thing. Damn. That particular speech 
was my moment. I'm very good in the 
rest of the film, but that particular mo- 
ment would have killed. I'm watching 
the film, and I'm like, “Wait a minute! 
The whole fucking scene's gone!” І had 
no idea. 4 Time lo Kill would have been 
different. When I was doing it, it was a 
story about a man who loved his daugh- 
ter so much he was willing to make this 
kind of sacrifice so the world would be a 
safe place for her. If her attackers were 
sent to prison, she would never feel safe, 
because they could get out. He had to 
kill chem so she would know those two 
guys would never h n. Every 
reference to his thought process was 
gone by the time the movie came out. It 
Бесапіе а film about a guy who took the 
law into his own hands, and now he's 
trying to find a way to get out of it 
That's not what I was doing, and it's my 
only deep regret about the film. 
PLAYBOY: Last year, you squared off with 
Kevin Spacey in The Negotiator, and now 
you're about to start Rules of Engagement 
with Tommy Lee Jones. You have also 
worked with Dustin Hoffman, Robert De 
Niro, Harvey Keitel and John Travolta. 
Is there a big diflerence working with ac- 
tors of that caliber? 

JACKSON: It's like being traded from the 


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Clippers to the Bulls. I get to pass the 
ball with Jordan and he passes it back to 
me. That's how it is to work with those 
guys. Dustin will start making faces while 
he's doing his lines, or he'll do his line in 
a different way to try to get a different 
reaction. Kevin's really good about turn- 
ing his head a certain way or turning a 
phrase in a certain way so you've got to 
say, “Wait a minute. You're upping the 
ante here? OK, let's go!” De Niro? The 
whole time we were doing Jackie Brown, 
1 watched him. He didn't seem to be 
doing anything. But when I watch that 
movie I realize: Goddamn, he was kick- 
ing so much ass doing nothing, 

PLAYBOY: Who is the most unpredictable 
actor you've worked with? 

JACKSON: That would be Nic Cage. He 
likes to constantly change. He doesn’t 
like to do the same thing over and over. 
And once you realize that, it’s kind of 
like, Oh, my God, what's he going to do 
now? [Laughs] I'm the opposite. Pim con- 
stant. I pride myself on playing thc edit- 
ing game before the editors get to me. If 
I'm doing a scene and I pick a glass up 
and take a drink, ГІІ pick the glass up 
and take a drink on the same line—the 
same word each time. I can tell a prop 
person how full the glass was. 

PLAYBOY Of all the great actors you've 
worked alongside, is there one you most 
look up to? 

JACKSON: Way back, when I was in New 
York, I worked with Morgan Freeman. 
He was on Broadway and I was watching 
him and 1 just totally forgot it was Mor- 
gan. I sat there then and said, “This is 
what I want to do.” The more I watch 
him, the more I see the ease with which 
he does what he does. It's so convincing 
without being forced. It's cffortless. I 
want to be that way. 1 would love to be 
thought of in the same vein as Morgan. 
PLAYBOY: You grew up in Chattanooga, 
raised by your mother, your grandpar- 
ents and an aunt. What happened to 
your father? 

JACKSON: He was in the Army when he 
married my mom and he never came 
back to Tennessee. He hung around Mis- 
souri, Philadelphia, had kids all over the 
place. I didn’t run into him until much 
later on—about 16 years ago. 

PLAYBOY: What was it like to meet him? 
JACKSON: І was on tour doing a play. Му 
daughter had just been born. We were 
performing іп Wichita. My grandmoth- 
er always had kept in touch. Since we 
were close to Kansas City, her home, I 
said, "Let's go see her." He happened to 
be there. It was pretty bizarre 

PLAYBOY: There must have been a million 
questions in your head 

JACKSON: Not really. 

PLAYBOY: Didn't you miss having a father 
around? 

JACKSON: No. I accepted it. Most kids I 
knew who had fathers were in hell. Dads 
were kicking their asses and their fami- 
lies were in turmoil. My family was per- 


fect. I had my grandfather, who was my 
best friend. We hung out together; we 
were the guys in the house. But when I 
went to my friends’ houses and it was 
time for the fathers to kick asses, I went 
home [laughs]. Meanwhile, my father got 
out of the Army so he wouldn't have to 
pay my mom child support. She was bro- 
ken up about that. She struggled, did 
what she had to do to make sure 1 was 
a guy. 

PLAYBOY: How did she make sure you 
were a guy? 

JACKSON: When kids chased me home, 
"You go back out there and 
e sent me to the Y and made 
sure I played ball and swam. There were 
rules. I had to read, do my homework, 
make grades. I had discipline and a 
great family life. 

PLAYBOY: So you had no interest in devel- 
oping a relationship with this man? 
JACKSON: Seeing him was pathetic. We 
went walking with my six-month-old 
daughter. I gave him ten dollars he was 
going to give back before I left, which I 
never got. We ended up at this woman's 
house. I thought the woman was his girl- 
friend, but she happened to be his girl- 
friend's mother. His girlfriend was like 
16 years old and she had a baby younger 
than my daughter. The older lady said, 
“When's the last time you and your fa- 
ther saw each other?" "Thirty-five years 
ago." She said, "Oh, God." She looked at 
her daughter, her daughter looked at 
her own daughter and all I could do was 
feel sorry for them because he was still 
doing the same dumb shit. And then we 
were talking about something and he 
said, "You don't talk back to your father 
like that.” And I said, “Hey, we are just 
two guys talking. This is not a father-son 
moment. 

PLAYBOY: What happened to him? 
JACKSON: He died about eight years ago. 
This doctor calls me from Kansas City 
and says, “Your father's kidneys are fail- 
ing. We have to take extreme measures 
to keep him alive. Do you want us to do 
it?” I'm like, "Why are you calling me?” 
“Well, we may have to put him on life 
support.” And I'm saying, "Who's going 
to be responsible for that? Don't keep 
him alive for me.” I wasn't trying to be 
cold, but he wasn’t my responsibility. Urn 
not going to make that decision. It didn't 
matter to me either way. 

PLAYBOY: Let's return to your childhood 
Did you know any white kids when you 
lived in Chattanooga? 

JACKSON: There were a couple in the 
neighborhood. We had rock fights with 
them. There was this one little kid who 
lived across the street, but my grand- 
mother would never let us beat him up 
because he was a polite child. If we were 
walking down the street, he would speak 
to my grandmother, “Good morning, 
Miss Nigger.” He would say to me, * 
nigger boy!" He was very proper about 
it and they wouldn't let us beat his ass, 


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because he said Mister and Miss. It 
wasn't until high school, when I was part 
of things like the model United Nations 
or the Unicef drive, that І started to in- 
teract with white kids from across town. 
PLAYBOY: We've read about your suspen- 
sion from Morchouse for taking part in a 
real-life version of The Negotiator, when 
you and a group took hostage the school 
trustees. What happened? 
JACKSON: It was the Sixties, and I was 
Part ofa campus organization that want- 
ed to change some of the rules. We want- 
ed a student voice on the board of trust- 
ees. We wanted more black members on 
the board of trustees because basical- 
ly the board was this group of white 
men who made the decisions about the 
school. We wanted community involve- 
ment because we had no contact with 
People outside the school. When stu- 
dents left campus, the guys in the neigh- 
borhood would just beat the shit out of 
them. We wanted to talk to the board 
about it and we petitioned them, and 
they said, “We don't have time for this.” 
So juston a whim that day when they 
were there, we were outside and some- 
body said, "Well, let's make them talk to 
us.” We went into the building, chained 
the doors from the inside and locked 
them. “You want to talk to us now?” And 
all of a sudden it was a hostage situation. 
me of the hostages was Martin 
Luther King’s father. 
JACKSON: Yeah. We let him go that day, 
only kept him a few hours. He was hav- 
ing a little heart problem. So we put him 
оп a ladder and got him out. 
PLAYBOY: How did it end? 
JACKSON: We made an amnesty deal with 
them: They weren't going to do any- 
thing to us if we let them go, because the 
board of trustecs said we were right. 
Sure enough, we finished the year, and 
everybody went home. But then all of 
a sudden these registered letters came. 
"Come back to school to stand trial for 
what you've done.” 1 got suspended. 
PLAYBOY: After graduating and doing 
some theater in Atlanta, you and La- 
“Tanya moved to New York to pursue the 
stage. What did you find in New York? 
JACKSON: It was Halloween, 1976. I re- 
member pulling into the Village, driving 
into that big Halloween parade on Chris- 
topher Street, going "What the hell is 
" It was so bizarre. І saw а nun 
ng the street with a guy in a diaper 
And the nun turned around and had a 
big green beard. I said, “I guess we've 
arrived.” I did a play quickly. LaTanya 
landed a job in Colored Girls and went on 
the national tour. I was left іп New York, 
id the next thing І knew I was a securi- 
ty guard. І was working from 11 гм un- 
til 7 in the morning and then going to 
auditions during the day. 
PLAYBOY: Were you discouraged? 
JACKSON: No. I knew what I had to do. I 
was learning. I'd do this play, that play. I 


68 ended up working at the Shakespeare 


Festival and the Negro Ensemble Com- 
рапу. І was working with great people 
like Morgan Freeman and Adolph Cae- 
sar. It was a great time for black theater. 
All the black actors around town were 
working. The hoofers were working, 
too. Gregory Hines was doing a show. 
Everybody was working, so every Mon- 
day was like a big black party. 

PLAYBOY: That was also the period of 
your out-of-control partying. Was La- 
"Tanya with you during this time? 
JACKSON: She was in the main room of 
the Penthouse in Hell. 

PLAYBOY: Did the partying affect your 
performances onstage? 

JACKSON: No. In fact, I didn't know any 
other way to perform than being high. It 
started in the theater in college. It was a 
ritual. My friends and 1 would go to the 
theater, get dressed, put on our makeup 
and smoke a reefer and drink wine and 
cognac until it was time to do the play. 
We'd come offstage for a minute, take a 
couple hits off a joint and go back on. 
Гус done plays on acid and everything 
else. We played whacked out of our 
minds every night. People І knew had 
no clue. Eighty percent of the actors I 
knew were acting on substances 
PLAYBOY: In Jungle Fever you play a crack 
addict. You apparently knew about that 
drug from experience. 

JACKSON: I never thought I was smoking 
crack. 1 always bought powder cocaine 
and cooked it myself, because I liked the 
process. People who smoke crack buy 
rocks. I thought I was freebasing, but as 
it turns out it's the same thing. | gravi- 
tated to it when I woke up one morning 
and could put a match up one side of my 
позе and pull it out the other side. 
PLAYBOY: Literally? 

JACKSON: Yes. І said, “Гус got to stop 
snorting this. I've got to smoke it now.” 
It never occurred to me to stop using 
altogether. But smoking brings you to 
your knees pretty quick. І don't know 
how people do that shit for years. 
PLAYBOY: How long did you smoke crack? 


low often did you do it? 
JACKSON: As often as I could afford to. 
PLAYBOY: Your wife sent you to rehab 
when she found you slumped over the 
kitchen table with a pipe in your hand. 
Until that point, did she know how bad 
your problem was? 

JACKSON: It was bad. There was hell in 
the house. I was not around. Or I was 
just always isolated, snappy and irritable. 
PLAYBOY: Did rchab help immediately? 
JACKSON: Yeah. I guess I was ready. I 
hate to think that I was crying for help, 
but it was time for me to get caught. And 
it worked out. When I went into rehab, I 
was like everybody else, pissed off about 
being there and angry because 1 had let 
myself get put there. Angry with every- 
body because they were saying shit about 
me that was probably true but that I 
didn't want to hear. І did the family ses- 


sions, and I was going to leave her and 
all this other shit. 

PLAYBOY: Because La Tanya had commit- 
ted you to the program? 

JACKSON: Yeah. Half my friends felt like 
1 did: “You don't have a problem. You 
just get fucked up like everybody else.” 
They didn't have a clue cither. Nobody 
knew how bad it was. But it woke me up. 
You think of why you're not where you 
should be. You're a good actor, every- 
body says that. But when you go to audi- 
tions, do you think you might smell like 
beer because you woke up that morning 
and had a beer and your eyes might be 


Do you think 
that maybe you weren't as clean as you 
could have been when you walked into 
that room? This sudden real 
curred. So it was time to do a real clear 
evaluation of what was going on. 1 found 
out about alcoholism being a family 
case. І never thought I was an alcoholic; 
I just drank all my life. But I was a black- 
out drinker. I would wake up in places 
and not know how I got there. And I was 
а drug user. If somebody could smoke a 
joint, I could smoke three. If you could 
drop one tab, I could do four. I was al- 
ways in excess. When 1 bought asix-pack 
of beer, I drank six beers. I didn't save 
one for the next day. Once I figured this 
out about myself, it was easy to say, "OK, 
I've tried this for 23 or whatever years. 
Let's give this other way a shot and see 
what happens." That's when Jungle Fever 
came along. Га done the research. 
PLAYBOY: Did your rehab counselors have 
an opinion about your playing a crack 
addict? 
JACKSON: Those guys were always telling 
me some stupid shit: "If you take this 
role you're going to be handling crack 
pipes and lighters, and before you know 
it, you're going to be right back into it." 
All T knew was how much I was going 
to make—for eight weeks’ work I was go- 
ing to make like 40 grand. I was like, 
"Where the fuck are you going to get 40 
grand in less than eight weeks? Fuck 
you." I said, “I will never come back 
here, if only because I never want to see 
you again." And Гуе been sober ever 
since, never relapsed. 
PLAYBOY: The role of Gator in Jungle Fe- 
ver put your career on the map. 
JACKSON: Definitely. It happened to be a 
perfect showcase for a lot of the skills I 
have. And it also happened to be a per- 
fect opportunity for me to go through a 
kind of catharsis. To put to rest that parı 
of my life. When Ossie Davis killed that 
character, 1 knew I could start over. 
PLAYBOY: Even before his father shot 
him, Gator seemed оо far gone to be 
saved. How far from him were you when 
you stopped using crack? 
JACKSON: І was him. І was wearing the 
same shit every day and didn't know it. I 
(continued on page 168) 


WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PLAYBOY? 


He's a man who loves to get under the hood. He appreciates both class and performance. Among 
the men who read PLAYBOY, 2.4 million guys regularly watch or attend races, which is more than 
the readers of GQ and Esquire combined. Over 3.9 million PLAYBOY readers are heavy auto af- 
termarket purchasers, which is more than the men who read Automobile and Road & Track 
combined. PLAYBOY—month after month, we lap the competition. (Source: Fall 1998 MRI.) 


69 


| 1 Tu 


here's a big difference be- 
tween being sick and not feel- 
ing your best. Doctors and 
pharmaceutical companies 
used to know the difference. 
If you were sick, they were 
there to help. If other aspects 
of your life weren't perfect, well, you 
should just learn to live with them. 
That type of thinking has gone the 
way of carbon paper and wine coolers. 
Today, drug manufacturers realize 
there's big money in curing things 
that aren't generally considered ill- 
nesses—such as baldness or shyness. 
Thanks to Viagra, they see the enor- 
mous profit potential in improving 
your sex life. The rush is on to devel- 
op lifestyle drugs—medications that 
help you achieve the life you feel you 
deserve. Whether you need better sex, 
more hair, less weight, an improved 


memory, a good night’s sleep or some 
cheering up, there’s a medication on 
the horizon for you. 


GETTING IT UP 


Last year’s king of the lifestyle 
drugs was Viagra, Pfizer’s blockbust- 
er solution to male—and, likely, fe- 
male—sexual dysfunction. But, hey, 
nothing’s perfect, and while most pa- 
tients keep renewing their prescrip- 
tions (seven out of ten are happy 
warriors), enthusiasm has slowed some- 
what as Viagra's ions have be- 
come better known. Viagra isn’t for 
men with serious heart problems, low 
or high blood pressure, peptic ulcers 
or the eye disease retinitis pigmen- 
tosa. And for some men, Viagra 


doesn't deliver the goods, or it takes 
too long. The other most commonly 
prescribed drugs are Caverject and 
Muse. One requires sticking a needle 
into the penis and the other is a small 


М НАТ” З А 


THE RACE IS ON 

TO DEVELOP PILLS 
THAT WILL SATISFY 
YOUR EVERY NEED 


ARTICLE 
BY MICHAEL PARRISH 


ILLUSTRATION BY WILSON MCLEAN 


gl Û 5 


pellet placed in the urethra through a 
plastic tube. 
That means there's room for im- 
proved drugs (for us) and more profits 
(for the drug companies). Here's what 
the researchers аге working оп now: 
“Clearly, the first-line therapies will 
still be oral drugs,” says Dr. Harin 
Padma-Nathan, director of the Male 
Clinic in Beverly Hills. Dr. Padma- 
Nathan and other researchers believe 
we've only just begun to treat such 
sexual problems as impotence and 
premature ejaculation. 
The likeliest new pills—that is, 
Ç those closest to FDA approval—are 
two promising tabs that could work 


t for some men who can't use Viagra. 
~ Vasomax: Submitted to the FDA last 
summer, this pill is based on phentol- 
4 amine, one of the drugs currently 


used in penile injections. Phentol- 
amine relaxes smooth-muscle cells in 
the penis, allowing that hot intake of 
blood that brings us such pride of 
ownership. Nobody likes to talk spe- 
cifics when the FDA is scrutinizing a 
drug, but tests so far apparently show 
that Vasomax works faster than Viag- 
ra, with fewer side effects. It also ap- 
pears to be effective on milder cases of 
impotence. Under the name Z-Max, 


Vasomax has already been approved 
by Mexican authorities and is for sale 
across the border. 

Spontane: A sublingual (placed un- 
der the tongue) drug that is quickly 
sucked into your system through 
blood vessels in the mouth. That may 
mean a faster erection. But results re- 
ported so far suggest that Spontane 
шау work best either in combination 
with Viagra or for men whose big 
problem is the somewhat limited one 
of getting messages from brain 
to penis. Apparently Spontane 


Vie Rrap 


PLAYBOY 


also has a few side effects, including 
headaches. 

1C351: Dr. Padma-Nathan sees enor- 
mous potential in one pill that's not so 
far along in development. IC351, an- 
other fast-acting tablet, seems to work 
like Viagra, but with a more focused 
ncentration on the penis. It could 
eliminate some pesky side effects. Icos, 
which makes IC351, is running clin- 
ical studies in the U.S. and Europe 
and plans to include female patients at 
some point. If testing stays on track, 
and the FDA approves it, IC351 could 
be on the market in the year 2001. 

Viagra under the tongue: Mean- 


while, Pfizer is researching other deliv- 
ery systems for Viagra’s key ingredient, 
including a sublingual wafer. 

"Topiglan and Alprox-TD: Two other 
near-term contenders arc gels to be 
rubbed on the penis. The big advan- 
tage here is direct application. Both 
gels deliver alprostadil —the same well- 
tested drug in the Muse pellet and 
most injections—directly to the whang- 
er, so the drug doesn't wander through 
the rest of the body stirring up side ef- 
fects. Until now, however, this delivery 
method hasn't worked as well as one 
might expect, because difficult to 
get a drug from the penis surface to 


the erectile chambers inside, where it 
counts. But the new gels contain com- 
pounds that are highly absorbable 
Both have shown decent results so far 
in tests in doctors’ clinics, where men 
apply gel to the head of their members 
and use X-rated movies and vibrators 
for inspiration. Even sitting in exami- 
nation rooms all by their lonesomes, 
66 percent to 75 percent of the men 
tested achieved serviceable erections 
And the gels don't seem to harm fe- 
male partners. In fact, companies ex- 
pect to test versions formulated for sex- 
ually challenged women as well. 
(continued on page 80) 


War You Can Do Asovr Ir WHat Tue Furure Horos 
Viagra (unless you have heart problems), 
Caverject (unless you hate needles) and 
Muse (unless you hate sticking а tube up 
your penis). 


Your PROBLEM 


ERECTILE 
DYSFUNCTION 


Faster-acting pills such as Vasomax, Spon- 
tane and an under-the-tongue version of 
Viagra. Gels applied directly on the penis. 
Some new drugs will be available this year. 


Zovirax, Valtrex and Famvir help suppress 
outbreaks, but they don't cure herpes. 


Highly accurate home blood tests. Vaccines 
to inoculate against herpes are in the test- 
ing phase—anywhere from one to five 
years away from common usage. 


SYPHILIS, 
GONORRHEA AND 
OTHER STDs 


Antibiotics—a single shot or pill can offer a 
quick cure. 


‘Topical microbicides—gels or creams ap- 
plicd inside the vagina. Long-lasting and 
undetectable, they will stop STDs (and 
in some cases HIV) in their tracks. Some 
could be available in three to four years. 


OBESITY With the demise of phen-fen and Redux, 
the hotantibulge drugs are Meridia, which 
helps control appetite, and Phentermine, 


the good half of phen-fen 


А new generation of appetite suppressants, 
hormone therapy and fat blockers such as 
Xenical, which keeps your body from ab- 
sorbing as much fat. 


HAIR LOSS Rogaine and Propecia, the only two drugs 


to show moderate hair growth. 


Not much—the newest antibaldness drug 
is at least five years away from the market. 


INSOMNIA. The usual suspects: Valium, Prosym, Hal- 


cyon, Dalmane etal. 


New designer drugs that aren't addictive 
and help you sleep the entire night, yet 
don't leave you groggy the next day. 


FORGETFULNESS So-called smart drugs—nutritional supple- 
ments such as Hydergine, Piracetam and 


Deprenyl. 


Medications that tweak your brain recep- 
tors (as you age, your brain cells die) and 
make them work harder. A gene switch that 
controls whether we make a long-term 
memory out ofan event, or block a trau- 
matic event (help is 15 to 20 years away). 


DEPRESSION, 
ANXIETY, SHYNESS 


Prozac, Zoloft, Xanax, Paxil. Drugs that accomplish the same end but 
with fewer side effects. Paxil, also a pop- 
ular antidepressant, will soon be the first 
drug prescribed to combat shyness (or, as 
doctors call it, social phobia). The big- 


bucks lifestyle drug business. 


“Who are you? I don’t do oral sex for just anybody.” 


73 


ve таке а DC 


ПТ he lights are low, the joint is buzzing, and sultry jazz vamps circle your head like smoke rings from a French cig- 
! агейе. Through the bottom of your martini glass, you see them up there on the stage like a vision from the past. 
| Неге come the dancing girls: There are eight 一 yes eight—leggy dames in corsets and panties, stockings and 
一 中 garters, straddling cafe chairs and giving you come-hither winks. Slick back your hair, gentlemen, and prepare 
to adjust your trousers. You have been granted an audience with Robin Antin’s Pussycat Dolls. 
“In this era of strip clubs and lap dancers, the Pussycat Dolls are the complete opposite,” says Antin, the shapely 
founder, choreographer and visual perfectionist of the group. “We never go all the way. The men are looking at usand 
thinking, Whoa, hot chicks, but are they ever going to take it all off?” (text concluded on page 150) 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY ARNY FREYTAG 


і 


ў 
—À à 


JA 


Ы) = _ 


je: Backstage, the dancers 
prepare. Lee (top) touches up her 
lipstick while posing this theory: "It feels 
Бо sexy to be in nylons and garters. And 
high heels are the best thing ever in- 
vented." Lindsley Allen (in boa) and Kiva 
Dawson (in the leopard high heels) do 
some touching up themselves. And that's 
head honcho Robin Antin in the sailor 
hat. This page: Lindsley helps Erica Gudis 
tie one on. “We're reliving a time when 
men were gentlemen and women 

were really feminine." 


This page: “For a night out,” 
Carmit Bachar says, “the 
Pussycats put on glitter all 
over, and we get it on every- 
one else—we like fo leave 
our mark on men. I don't 
think they mind." Opposite 


| page: Kasey Campbell pre- 


fers men who wear “tighty- 


|  whities." Her cohorts, Kiva 


and Erica, seem to agree. 


"EM 


po P 


5 > 


Е 


^ 


111111 


Теч 


oll 


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A АЧ 


80 


[Ipesquje gruas 
(continued from page 72) 
Gene Therapy: Gene therapy intro- 
duces a new, or remodeled, batch of 
genes into a person to correct a genetic 
disease or flaw. Genes give the body or- 
ders. In an organ that is basically isolat- 
ed from the rest of the body—the peris 
being one low-hanging example—this 
could mean that by injecting a bunch 
of new genes with the orders to stand 
erect and be counted, the new genes 
could overwhelm the existing genes. 
This could be the best treatment for 
many men. A couple of times a year, a 
guy would drop by his doctor's office to 
get a tune-up injection. (You can guess 
where he would get the needle.) One 
prominent gene researcher, Dr. Arnold 
Melman, chairman of urology at Mon- 
tefiore Medical Center/Albert Einstein 
College of Medicine in New York, be- 
lieves that human trials of gene thera- 
py could begin as early as the end of 
1999, with a drug on the market sever- 
al years after that. 


THE HERPES COMPLEX 


There is some good news regarding 
gonorrhea and syphilis: Antibiotic pills 
and injections that need to be taken 
only once are already on the market. 
While there's no known cure for her- 
pes, three drugs—acydovir (Zovirax, 
or generic versions) and the newer Val- 
trex and Famvir—will help suppress 
outbreaks. 

Within the next year, expect better 
blood tests that make highly accurate 
diagnoses by herpes type. Dr. Penny 
Hitchcock, chief of the Sexually Trans- 
mitted Disease branch of the National 
Institute of Allergy and Infectious Dis- 
eases, is particularly interested in de- 
veloping at-home tests for the full 
range of STDs. “My goal is to one day 
have these tests done in your bath- 
room, just like a home pregnancy test,” 
says Dr. Hitchcock. 

Pockit: This blood test has been sub- 
mitted to the FDA and could be avail- 
able this year. If it's approved, doctors 
could tell you in ten minutes whether 
you're infected with herpes type II, the 
most common genital variety. 

Vaccines: Far more exciting to the 
uninfected among us is the prospect of 
a vaccine. Herpes is more easily thwart- 
ed by a vaccine than other viruses be- 
cause it doesn’t mutate—it doesn't 
keep changing the rules on the re- 
searchers. Research on a herpes vac- 
cine focuses not only on the traditional 
preventative vaccine—a treatment to 
keep people from being infected—but 
also on a therapeutic vaccine, which 
would strengthen the immune system 
of the afflicted, potentially lessening 
symptoms and infectiousness. Not a 


cure, but a much better treatment. 
One promising vaccine has already 
bitten che dust. Another, produced by 
SmithKline Beecham, is in advanced 
testing, but many researchers predict it 
will suffer the same fate. If it succeeds, 
however, a vaccine could be available in 
as little as a year. Other vaccines being 
developed are probably at least five 
years away, according to Dr. John Dou- 
glas Jr., a visiting scientist at the Cen- 


ters for Disease Control and director of 


STD control at the Denver Department 
of Public Health. 

A Cure: That's even farther down 
the road, says Douglas. Some research 
has suggested that patients treated 
with Famvir soon after their first her- 
pes outbreak may throw off the virus 
before it settles into nerve cells near the 
brain and spinal cord. “But 1 think 


that's somewhat of a long shot,” 
Douglas. 


says 


STD STOPPERS 


Why not find a way to thwart all ob- 
noxious sexually transmitted diseas- 
es at once? Hitchcock is researching a 
simple solution—an STD killer called a 
topical microbicide. ln its ideal form, 
this would be a tasteless, odorless, col- 
orless substance that could be applied 
to the vagina. Without being noticed by 
either partner, the gel, cream or oint- 
ment would stop most STDs in their 
tracks. In theory, topical microbicides 
would be long-lasting, needing reap- 
plication only every so ofien—for in- 
stance, when one changed lovers. 

One product in clinical trials is a sup- 
pository that contains good bacteria 
called lactobacillus. Lactobacillus in the 


vagina protects against some STDs, but 
it can also act as a carrier for other dis- 
ease killers. “There's no reason that we 
couldn't add a whole cocktail of mole- 
cules to the lactobacillus,” says Hitch- 
cock. This product could be used by 
women at their discretion, to protect 
themselves without making an issue of 
it with their partners. 

The following microbicide products 
are being tested: 

Lactin-Vaginal: A lactobacillus sup- 
pository produced by GyneLogix, with 
encouragement from the National In- 
stitutes of Health. Lactin-Vaginal is be- 
ing developed to protect women and 
their partners against HIV, gonorrhea 
and bacterial vaginosis, but not herpes. 
It would have to be reapplied with each 
new sexual partner. Women would test 
themselves every so often to see that 
the lactobacillus count is still sufficient. 
Men would have to depend on the con- 
scientiousness of their partners. 

Pro 2000: A gel developed by Pro- 
cept in Cambridge, Massachusetts as 
a contraceptive and a microbicide. In 
the lab, the gel worked against HIV 
and herpes II, as well as chlamydia. In 
1997, in two tests on European women, 
the drug appeared to be safe. Testing 
among women in the U.S. and South 
Africa is scheduled to begin this year, 
supported by the National Institute of 
Allergy and Infectious Diseases. Some 
of these women will already be infect- 
ed with HIV, so the question will be 
whether Pro 2000 prevents viral trans- 
fer to a partner. 

Buffer Gel: A spermicidal microbi- 
аде in a lubricant, being tested as pro- 
tection against STDs. It was developed 
by ReProtect, in Baltimore. Buffer Gel 
works by maintaining the naturally 
protective acidity of the vagina that can 
kill sperm and many STDs. Semen has 
an alkaline component that neutralizes 
that acidity and allows the sperm to 
swim to the egg. This lubricant blocks 
the semen's alkaline component, keeps 
the vagina’s acidity intact and should 
keep sperm and STD organisms—in- 
cluding syphilis, gonorrhea, genital 
herpes and HIV—at bay. The first 
phase of clinical trials, at Brown Uni- 
versity, has been completed and the 
next stage is expected to begin this 
year. Buffer Gel could be available as a 
contraceptive in about three years, and 
about a year later as an STD fighter. 

Plantibodies: ReProtect and another 
small research company, ЕРІсуге Phar- 
maceutical in San Diego, have joined to 
work on a contraceptive and disease- 
stopper—but using a different mech- 
anism. Plantibodies are plant antibod- 
ies. Human genes are put into a plant, 
where they are reproduced and har- 
vested. This method produces drugs a 

(continued on page 152) 


DECKS AND DRUMS AND ROCK AND 
ROLL. A HOT MUSICAL FORM CHARGES 
INTO THE MAINSTREAM. GO AHEAD — 

YOU CAN DANCE IF YOU WANT TO 


BY TIMOTHY MOHR 


е. On a recent night eut- 
side New York's Sound Factory, dedicated-fans form 
a line. Despite the long wait—and a $25 ger-tiead 
charge—they pack the 3000-person clubyto capaci- 
ty. The draw: prominent London-based drum and 
bassist DJ Aphrodite. Downstairs at the coat check 
the ascendant status of DJs is even more apparent. 
А kid is playing records on a pair/of turmtahles set 
up іп the open space between the garderobe and 
the bathrooms—and a crowd has gathered, watch- 
ing intensely. The kid spins a vinyl platter inta posi- 
tion with his left hand. He ignores the crowd, puts 
his headphones up to one ear and begins to bourice 


tothe heat. On the main dance floor, a variety 
of creatures dance in outlandish gear. Two wom- 
en wear angel іп and skimpy tank tops. Glitter 
chicks flit'about with glow sticks in their mouths, a 
cute trick that producesan eerie green light when 
they speak. Amid the bouncing and bobbing, a few 
guys hit the-smpoth floor for some neo-hreak danc- 
ing. Another-aróup twist their arms and hands like 
Grateful Dead-faris. Girls with bare midriffs climb 
onta bass boxes the size of SUVs and start to dance. 
Теп feet aboye the fray, a couple of figures jump 
around behind a bank of equipment in the DJ booth. 
They urge the crowd on (text continued on page 100) 


ыңа M 
Шош acks DYeyeing changes in tfi ¡NAYCOMICULIONS, DIS even 
Se tape to mark their LPs. Scratching and Гап СК (Tre Tie tanning a guitar 
pickup) produce addi | Ш nd goofi aw Raich cobras або 
A > \ 


ІМ 


hew Jamaican dub kings and bronx hip- 
hoppers inspired a generation 


Two separate developments combined to 
make the modern DJ a potent cultural figure: the 
rise of DJ-as-entertainer and the growth of elec- 
tronic music. The first 45 rpm records went into 
production during the Fifties. The new mass mar- 
ket spawned the first performance-oriented DJs 
(as opposed to radio jockeys) in the form of Ja- 
таісап sound systems. Ambitious record shop 
owners toured the countryside with a jerry-rigged 
PA and stacks of 45s. By the late Sixties the use of 
records for dancehall performances led to the first 
remixes of hit records. Then King Tubby, Scientist 
and other producers made heavy acetate cuttings 
of reggae records, called duh plates, that dropped. 
vocal lines and emphasized bass 
tones. Shortly thereafter, the first 
big names emerged from New 
York's nascent hip-hop scene: Kool 
Herc, DJ Hollywood and Grandmas- 
ter Flash, who brought a new level 
of creativity to DJing. Following 
the lead of the Jamaican sound sys- 
tems, DJs entertained open-air 
crowds with only intermittent pat- 
ter from an MC. But the guy with 
the microphone quickly outshined 
the one behind the two record play- 
ers; in terms of name recognition 
and pulling the lovelies, the MC 
had no competition. Some DJs got 
equal billing on records—Public Enemy's Termina- 
tor X even made solo records—hut it is Will “Fresh 
Prince" Smith rather than his partner, DJ Jazzy 
Jeff, making all the movies, and Run-DMC rather 
than their DJ, Jam Master Jay, who are lauded. 

The Eighties witnessed a proliferation of 
electronic sounds first begun a decade earlier hy 
Kraftwerk, Tangerine Dream and Brian Eno. Musi- 
cians had access to synthesizers and programma- 
ble drum machines. To increase the percussion, 
DJs ran homemade drum tracks along with ori 
songs. Hip-hop artists sampling Kraftwerk origi- 
nated a style known as electro, typified by Afrika 
Bambaataa’s “Planet Rock,” that anticipated 
many later developments. (To gauge the 
impact of electro buy the two-volume 
"Electro Boogie" series on Studio K7.) By 
the mid-Eighties, house music—basically an 
extension of the disco 12-inch record cult said 
to have originated in Chicago's Warehouse 
club—became а full-fledged musical form. Then 
came the meteoric rise of acid house in Europe, 
and the stage was set. 


ial 


| “Hit it from the hack.” | 


“Тһе scene is global, not local,” says Dar- 
ren Ressler of “Mixer” magazine. “Because DJs 
tour like hell, you сап go to а club like Twilo or Si- 
mon's and hear a French or English DJ. There is no 
ethnocentricity. It's all beautifully interconnected.” 

In addition to current big-name artists, 
Britain also has a wide range of full-on madmen. 
Their styles defy labels. For mind-warping experi- 
mentation and genre bending, listen to Aphex 
Twin, Autechre or p-Ziq. 

Germany and France play important roles. 
Germany is home to the world’s biggest techno 
DJs—Swen Vath, Westbam, Paul уап Dyk—and 
host to the single biggest event related to the mu- 
sic, Berlin’s annual Love Parade, 
which draws more than 1 million 
revelers during the second week- 
end of July. Organized by anoth- 
er DJ, Dr. Motte, the festival 
goes around-the-clock, with a 
huge parade followed by parties 
at all the major clubs. In re- 
sponse to overbearing techno, 
German artists such as Mouse on 
Mars, Whirlpool Productions and 
Le Hammond Inferno experi- 
mented with lighthearted elec- 
tronic music noted for its easy 
touch. Le Hammond set up anin- 
fluential label, Bungalow, that 
uncovered similar acts in Japan and Europe. 

In France, a number of famous DJs and 
groups have made a fairly insular house scene 
global: Daft Punk, Etienne de Crécy, Dimitri From 
Paris and Cassius know one another through the 
famous Respect club nights at Queens, where they 
all DJ. Kid Loco, DJ Cam and the Mighty Bop cov- 
er more laid-back, trip-hop territory. Many of 
these trace their origins to the Paris hip-hop scene 
centered on MC Solaar, Soon-E-MC and Menelik. 

In Japan, DJ Krush and Major Force Or- 
chestra mine trip-hop grooves, while Towa Tei be- 
came a celebrity DJ after the breakup of Dee-lite- 
His compositions are mirrored by other cut-and- 

paste groups such as Pizzicato Five and 
Fantastic Plastic Machine. 

Meanwhile, back where it all be- 
gan, there is yet another new style emerg- 
ing in Detroit called ghetto tech. Local artists 
such as DJ Assault and DJ Godfather mix hard 
bass and percussion with electro-style synthesiz- 

ers and dirty chants such as “Shake dat azz” or 


EU 


= = 
| A ig YA 
MEI AA 


E. E 


"Your Kama Sutra won't hit the charts if you keep 
repeating yourself, Ranji." 


86 


His Hipness 
The Mayor 


how willte brown of san francisco 
put the party back into party politics 


PLRyBOy PROFILE Ву BURR SNIDER 


ever mind that Willie 

Brown was out roaming 

the town until God 
| knows when last night, 

capping off a crowded 
evening of official events and decidedly 
unofficial carousing with a stop for bar- 
becue at a Fillmore District rib joint in 
the small hours. And never mind that 
it’s barely seven o'clock on a Saturday 
morning and most of San Francisco is 
still asleep. Mayor Brown likes to get 
an early start, and here in his opulent 
city-hall offices the business day is al- 
ready in full swing. One of the chicf 
complaints of the mayor's critics is that 
his standard operating style is that of 
"management by crisis," and right 
now there is a waiting room teeming 
with citizens in varying stages of ur- 
gency giving vivid testimony to that 
charge. 

Once each month the mayor throws 
open his office door for these one-on- 
one meetings with his constituents. 
But, this being progressive San Fran- 
cisco, Willie Brown won't be handing 
out bags of coal to destitute widows or 
fixing traffic tickets. He will be, as they 
say, "problem solving." 

Some of these people have camped 
out for hours to secure their precious 
ten minutes with the mayor. What do 
they want? Some are angling for jobs, 
some are angry about perceived injus- 
tices at the hands of the city bureaucra- 
cy and some just want to vent to some- 
body important. And, of course, San 
Francisco being one of America's more 
unusual cities, a few are here to relay 


urgent messages from their alien mas- 
ters on distant planets. Brown, who 
walks the streets of the city often, is well 
aware of the weirdness quotient that 
awaits him in his outer office. "Sixty- 
five to 70 percent of the people who 
stroll in here," he has said, “are clearly 
in need of therapy.” 

But, hey, that's why they call it San 
Franschizo, and if you can't handle a 
little insanity, as the mayor often 
says, you don’t belong in the job. “I 
wake up every morning with only one 
thought in mind, and that is to be en- 
tertained,” says Brown. “І am hardly 
ever disappointed.” 

No way the mayor is going to be dis- 
appointed today. Included in the 
mixed bag of earnestness and eccen- 
tricity that will pass through his office 
this morning are a wayward city bus 
driver who is on suspension for his in- 
corrigible habit of taking off-route 
joyrides, а rap musician who wants his 
hip-hop group to be the mayor's “offi- 
cial” band, a lottery winner so incensed 
at Brown that he plans to spend all his 
winnings to get him removed from of- 
fice, and a sad, elderly Egyptian gen- 
deman carrying a tattered portfolio 
of badly drawn cartoons who breaks 
down into tears during a disjointed 
monolog in which he proposes that 
Arabic be adopted as San Francisco's 
official language and reveals a secret 
plan to prevent the city’s parking me- 
ters from being ripped off. 

To each supplicant, legit and loopy 
alike, Brown will accord his undivided 
attention and sincere concern. Brown 


ILLUSTRATION ву OZVIO LEVINE 


says his biggest surprise upon taking 
the reins at city hall was discovering 
how “dedicated to dysfunction” local 
government is, and he makes no bones 
about the fact that he roundly distrusts 
career civil servants (“little clerks who 
push pens and pencils" is how he refers 
to them). Hence, he revels in these op- 
portunities to circumvent the process 
and personally intervene on behalf of 
his constituents. 

When a general contractor accuses 
the city attorney's office of conducting 
a vendetta against his company, Brown 
advises the man not to get into a court 
battle with a public agency (“These 
guys have no profit motive,” he warns 
the contractor. “They'll litigate you for- 
ever.”) and then offers to mediate the 
dispute himself. When the head of a 
do-gooding nonprofit outfit asks for 
help finding a location for a start-up 
company that employs ex-cons, the 
mayor suggests an abandoned factory 
on the far edges of the city. 

And finally comes the aforemen- 
tioned lottery winner, a 60ish man so 
livid about the “incredibly rude” treat- 
ment he received from city hall after 
his car was hit by a municipal bus that 
he refuses to shake the mayor's hand. 

“What I want is a written apology, 
signed by you," says the man. “And I'll 
never get it.” 

“You got it,” says the mayor. “Hand- 
written, on my letterhead.” Brown 
Jeans forward and taps the man on the 
knee. “Now, you know what I want? I 
want to put you to work! Instead of just 
criticizing, why don't you come to work 


b 


Za VE 
ЖЖ) 


ET 


V 


PLAYBOY 


88 


and help me?” 

The man looks aghast. “No, no, nev- 
ет!” he sputters. “You are looking at 
the last conservative Republican in San 
Francisco. I get $800,000 a year after 
taxes from the lottery, and I'm going to 
spend it all to get you defeated." 

"Absolutely your prerogative," 
Brown says with a shrug. The man 
gathers his papers and stomps out. “АЙ 
that money sure didn't make him hap- 
ру, did it?” Brown chuckles. “But shit, 
give me a million of it and ГЇЇ resign.” 


If ever a man and a municipality 
were meant for each other, they are 
Willie Brown and San Francisco. The 
thing about the City (as true San Fran- 
ciscans, smug and solipsistic to the 
core, refer to their hometown) is that 
although it has the approximate popu- 
lation of, say, Kansas City, it has never 
chosen to shake the hubristic notion 
that it belongs among the world’s great 
metropolises. And the thing about Wil- 
lic Brown is that although he was born 
dirt-poor and illegitimate in a segre- 
gated backwater community in East 
‘Texas, he has never had the slightest 
doubt in his destiny to lead a life of 


power, pleasure and high privilege. 

Could there be a more natural fit? 
The consummate style-driven over- 
achiever in charge of the world's most 
obsessively self-conscious city. That be- 
ing said, it is also true, if Brown is to be- 
lieved, that he never had the slightest 
interest in running for mayor of his 
adopted hometown until he ran out of 
other options, 

For the majority of his public life 
Willie Brown has wielded power on 
such a grand scale that the idea of be- 
ing a mere mayor, even of his beloved 
San Francisco, has always struck him 
as small potatoes. "Why would I ever 
want a job,” he once asked contemp- 
tuously, “where your main concerns 
are streetlights, parking meters and 
dog doo?” 

Why indeed? In his tempestuous 30- 
year career in the California legisla- 
ture, during the last 15 of which he 


reigned as the nearly omnipotent 
Speaker of the Assembly, Brown built 
up such an unprecedented power base 
that he came to be viewed by many as 
the de facto boss of the most populous 
state in the nation. Governors came 
and went, but in Sacramento there was 
always Speaker Brown, the slickest po- 
litical operator anybody could remem- 
ber. Ruthless, outspoken and contro- 
versial, Brown had a Machiavellian 
instinct for the delicate maneuvering 
and horse swapping of the legislative 
process. And, equally important, as one 
of the most prolific fund-raisers in Cal- 
ifornia history, the Speaker had virtu- 
ally every Democratic officeholder in 
the state beholden to him. With the 
legislature snugly in his pocket and 
near veto power over an annual 
$50 billion state budget, it is not too 
much to say that for nearly two decades 
Willie Brown was the most powerful 
elected black official in America. 
Brown says he would have been hap- 
py to stay in the assembly forever, 
pushing his liberal agenda and waging 
battle against California's forceful right 
wing. But it all came to a sudden end 
with the passage of California's term 
limits act in 1990, a law that many be- 


With fat-cat sponsors 
picking up the tab, 
Brown entertained some 
75,000 ecstatic revelers 
at a wharfside street bash 
that raged until dawn. 


lieve was enacted as a direct result of 
voter revulsion over Brown's strangle- 
hold on state government. Termed-out 
and barred from reelection in 1996, 
Willie Brown was out of public office 
for the first time since 1964. 

What to do? It was suggested that he 
might run for governor or senator, but 
Brown quickly rejected both possibili- 
ties. One thing he prides himself on is 
his uncanny ability to count votes, and 
he knew it was next to impossible for a 
black man—especially one burdened 
with his political baggage—to win state- 
wide office in California. 

Another option was to devote him- 
self to the high-powered law practice 
he'd built up in San Francisco during 
his years of political influence. But how 
could being a private-sector lawyer 
ever satisfy him after his years in the 
spotlight as the 800-pound gorilla of 
California politics? 


That's when Brown's good friend 
Herb Caen stepped in. Caen, the leg- 
endary San Francisco Chronicle colum- 
nist who died in 1997, had for years 
harbored a not-so-secret dream that 
his longtime buddy would someday be- 
come mayor. San Francisco was in the 
midst of a demoralizing downswing, 
Caen felt, and only somcone with the 
brilliance and indomitable panache of 
Willie Brown could restore it to its right- 
ful glory as a world-class city. 

For nearly 60 years Herb Caen was 
the supreme arbiter of all things triv- 
ial and significant in the Bay Area. 
No true San Franciscan would have 
dreamed of starting the day without 
first turning to Caen's column to find 
out what had transpired overnight in 
the place he called Baghdad by the 
Bay. So when Caen devoted an entire 
column to what was essentially a hagio- 
graphic manifesto urging Willie Brown 
to take on the task of reviving the city's 
sagging fortunes, the die was pretty 
much cast. 

“Even before Herb's column I had 
been flattered by the number of people 
who had come to me and said they 
thought the city could only be saved if 1 
came aboard,” says Brown. “But when 
Herb did the column urging me to re- 
new the world's interest in San Francis- 
co by making it the most glamorous 
city I could possibly make it, that was a 
compelling factor in my deciding to ac- 
cept the challenge and run, That, and 
the fact that it was only the opportuni- 
ty for me to stay in public life, of course.” 


Despite Caen's endorsement, Brown 
entered the mayoral race as an under- 
dog. The incumbent, an amiable if lus- 
terless ex-career cop named Frank 
Jordan (who was known as Empty Hol 
ster Frank for the succession of desk 
jobs he'd held on the force) not only 
seemed to have the big downtown 
money locked up but also held a com- 
manding lead among white middle- 
class voters. A second candidate, Ro- 
berta Achtenberg, a popular former 
city supervisor and lesbian who as assis- 
tant secretary of HUD had been the 
highest-ranking avowed homosexual 
in the Clinton administration, was ced- 
ed the sizable gay vote that would have 
normally gone to Brown. All that was 
left for Willie was some union support 
and the minorities. 

Just before the election, the always 
lucky Brown got luckier when, for rca- 
sons unknown, the normally starch- 
stiff Jordan agreed to a stunt in which 
he posed nude in a shower with a cou- 
ple of drive time radio jocks. Brown 
topped the voting in a close race. And 
then, in a runoff against Jordan—vith 

(continued on page 162) 


“Telephone, miss—it's the devil.” 


FUNNY HOW THE 
RIGHT TRUNKS 
MAKE EVEN GIRLS 
LOOK BETTER 


FASHION Бү 
HOLLIS WAYNE 


et you’ve never felt sym- 
pathy for a male model. 
Still, there's something 
cruel about asking a guy 


= n = y 
Just—springs eternal. The setting is 
Tipe for seduction. First Victoria takes 
off her engagement ring and hands it 
to us. Then we bring out three of this 
scason's best bathing suits—and not a 
dud among them. The role- Шун 
begins and the camera starts cli 
With each successive change of ed 
his confidence soars. It's a scenario that 
soon will be played out on strands all 
over the country. The right swimwear 
can turn a moment into an endless 
summer. This year, thankfully, trunks 
come in a variety of styles, so you can 
buy a great pair that's appropriate for 
your body type and tan. Your chance of 
finding the perfect match has never 
been better. 


We coll this pose (left) the chairlift. Our 
man's ego is cushioned when he steps in- 
to optical-ort swim trunks by Emilio Pucci 
($190). (Со on, try it at home. Buy your 
girlfriend this Molia Mills bikini [5140] ond 
the straw hat by Eric Jovits |51751) At 
right, he's in a pair of Rolph Lauren trunks 
(550). Things are looking up. Her shirt is 
by Jill Stuart (5138). Studio Lo Blanco 
mode the string bikini bottom (527). 


Не has the woter right there. 
(Salty.) He hos the sand. 
Sandy.) He hos the rock- 
steady suit. (Slick.) The nylon 
Joseph Abboud trunks cost 
$50. Her two-piece tankini 
fram Versoce More costs 
8442 He has а Playmate 
from heaven. It's time to 
make a move. Her mouth is 
wet. Then it's over. She pops 
up, puts on her ring ond is 
gone. Oh well—maybe 
tamarrow. Maybe tamor- 
raw he'll go ta the beach. 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY CHUCK BAKER 
WOMAN'S STYLING BY KATHY KALAFUT FOR 
IPERRELLA MANAGEMENT. 


HAIR EY DONNA GREGORY. 
MAKEUP BY GUILLERMO 


WHERE & HOW TO BLY ON PAGE 166. 


Christina Applegate 


BLAMB OMNES 


200 


tv’s favorite waitress оп tipping, spitting and the 
burden of doing your own laundry 


ome Hollywood soothsayers predict- 
ed that Christina Applegate's career 
would live and die with the role of teen sex- 
pot Kelly Bundy on the long-running Mar- 
ried With Children. With her NBC hit sit- 
com Jesse, Applegate has proved her critics 
wrong. Afler Married With Children ended 
an 11-year run, Applegate stepped away 
from television for а few years, emerging 
in such studio films as Mafia!, Wild Bill 
with Jeff Bridges and Tim Burton's Mars 
Attacks! Applegate also appeared in the in- 
dependent productions Nowhere, The Big 
Hit and Claudine's Return, in which she re- 
turned to her sexpot image. 
Despite her varied movie roles, the Holly- 
wood native realized she missed television. 
Applegate and her producer-manager of 20 
years, Tami Lynn, joined forces with the suc- 
cessful production team behind Friends and 
Veronica’s Closet and came up with the most 
watched new show on NBC, Jesse, which 
Applegate co-produces. Although Married 
With Children plays worldwide in reruns, 
Kelly Bundy is dead. Jesse Warner lives. 
And that's the way Applegate wants it 
Robert Crane caught up with Applegate 
on the Jesse set. He reports: “Entering Ap- 
plegate's dressing room is like walking in- 
to an ashram—incense burning, aromatic 
candles lit, music playing and Christina sit- 
ting on the floor, Robeks juice in hand. It 
took a nanosecond to adjust to the fact that, 
damn it, Applegate 15 not Kelly Bundy. Her 
first words to me were to ask if she could 
‘smoke. Of course she could. Everything else 
in the room was smoking.” 


1 


PLAYBOY: On Jesse you play a waitress. 
What is the proper way to treat the 
waitstaff? 

APPLEGATE: Don't say, "Hey." Don't 
scream across the restaurant, “Can L 
have the check, please?” Don't raise 
your finger in the air to summon them. 
They don't like that. Do listen to them 
when they recite the specials, because 
they've been practicing that all day. 
Poor kids. I've never understood how 


PHOTOGRAPHY By MICHAEL GRECCO 


pubic hair can get into your food, How 
does that happen? Where does it come 
from? І don't want to know. 


2 


PLAYBOY: What are the unforgivable 
sins committed by a waitperson? 
APPLEGATE: Spitting іп the food. Let me 
tell you something that happened. My 
loved one and 1 went to a drive-in res- 
taurant, and 1 had finished my drink 
and he had his sitting there. There was 
some left in bis, and I went to drink 
some through the straw. It was really 
thick, and I then realized that he had 
hocked a load of spit in there. Having 
hada big gulp ofit once, I know it’s not 
delicious. 


3 


PLAYBOY: What's a proper tip? 
APPLEGATE: Somewbere between 15 and 
20 percent, but І like to give 20 per- 
cent. Considering that I can't figure 
out any of that percentage stuff, I just 
go for 20 percent because it's easy. I 
mean, who came up with 15 percent? 
It's too complicated to figure out. 


4 


PLAYBOY: When the history of comedy 
television is written, how will Married 
With Children fare? 

APPLEGATE: Married broke the rule of 
sugarcoated television during its time. 
TV was so sweet then, it was giving me 
a cavity. Married changed all that. After 
us came shows like Roseanne. We defi- 
nitely opened the door for profanity 
and vulgarity on television. 


5 


PLAYBOY: It celebrated emotional bru- 
tality and postulated that women are 
sex crazed and men are stupid. To 
which part of the population did that 
series speak? 

APPLEGATE: It appealed to all walks of 


life because even the people who found 
it offensive found it so only because 
they were shameful of the things they 
thought in their own minds. It gave 
people an opportunity to look at how 
not to be. They could sit at home and 
be grateful that they weren't emulating 
the characters in the show. 


6 


PLAYBOY: Give us the Christina Apple- 
gate investment program. 

APPLEGATE: Clothes, clothes, clothes 
That's all that's on my mind right now. 
I'm going shopping after this. Actually, 
I've racked up a lot of property. But 
that's because I'm a pack rat. It has 
nothing to do with investments. It has 
to do with, well, I don’t really want to 
get rid of anything. I'm going to move, 
but I can't let go of the property. I rent 
it out. It’s not really a source of income 
because it just pays the mortgage. І 
don't like to take chances with the stock 
market or on anything except bonds. I 
lease my cars because it's a much better 
tax write-off. I go to Hawaii a lot. To me, 
a trip is more valuable than buying a 
brand-new car, because a trip gives me 
seven days of bliss that I can bring back 
to everyone here. Going on retreats 
with my church and things like that are 
investments of the soul. That's the one 
thing you're always going to have, so 
you might as well take care of it. 


7 


PLAvBov: Describe a perfect evening, 
Who cooks and who cleans? 

APPLEGATE: Someone else. A perfect 
evening would be that I'm able to lie on 
my couch in my pajamas with the re- 
mote control in hand. My flannel paja- 
mas and my big old slippers. 


8 


PLAYBOY: Over the years, certain fash- 
ions have been cruel to women. What 
are the silliest (continued on page 173) 


95 


arth Maul is from a nightmare, 
George Lucas’ пірін 
millions of Star War: 


Side, or don his familiar b: 
he's a nine-year-old boy n 
walker, who, with the рго) 
power to become a Jedi 
aren't even thoughts, tho 

as does C-3PO. The galaxy i 
else is new?—and the greed 
has laid siege to the small p 
cutting off all shipping witl 
ships. Qui-Gon Jinn (Liam 
di pupil, Obi-Wan Kenobi 
are sent to put things right 


Jedi Knights and the queen 
master, Darth Sidious, to di 
leads to starfighter dogfigh 
race, encounters with strang 
erated) creatures, light saber 
about the Force. If you're hi 
the story plays out on ope: 
better be reading this in 1 
have already staked their cla 
aters, and some are flying in 
(the film doesn't open in Euro] 
this summer). That Phantom 
the highest-grossing film ev 
by how much that has everyon 


S 
“ ІН 
АЙ, 


Early in the production of 
“Episode |,” George Lucas told 
‚his designers, “Give me a star- 
fighter.” They produced four 


Lord flies this ship to Tatooine’ 
fora showdown with Obi-Wan 
Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn (op- 
posite page). Lucasfilm also 
created dozens of guns; the 
pistol at left is one of many 
used on Tatooine. Each Jedi 
warrior carries hisown custom 
light saber; from left to right 
are the personalized weapons 


fan, Mace Windu (a J 
di played hy Samuel І. Jack- 
son) and Qui-Gon Jinn. Adegan 
crystals or jewels—seldom 
more than three—power 
each saber blade, which ex- 
tends about a yard (the han- 
dtes measure nine inches to a 
foot). In her book “The Sci- 
ence of Star Wars,” astrophys- 
icist Jeanne Cavelos wonders 
if the blades aren't plasma, 
since lasers can't do what 
light sahers do. 


Skywalker grew to embrace evil, then found redemption. He also got the best lines. 


four powers are weak, old man.” 
taunting Obi-Wan, in Star Wars 


“Apology accepted, Captain Needa.” 
—after strangling him, in The Empire Strikes Back 


“Lam altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further.” 
—ro Lando, in The Empire Strikes Back 


“I find your lack of faith disturbing.” 
—choking Admiral Morti, in Star Wars 


“I am your father.” 
—to Luke, in The Empire Strikes Back 


Much to Carrie Fisher's embarrassment, her Princess Leia 
slave-girl costume Kept slipping off while filming the barge 


scenes for “Return of the Jedi.” Twillek dancer Qola (Femi 
Taylor) did lose her top in the film as she fell into the Rancor 


pit. That may explain why, despite appearing on-screen all of 
а minute, she has her own Kenner action figure. (Those head 
tentacles are called lekku.) Queen Amidala (below), por- 
trayed in “Phantom Menace” hy Natalie Portman, is the 
mother whom Leia can recall only vaguely and Luke doesn't 


STAR WARS | EMPIRE 


1 HAVE А BAD FEEL- remember at all. Anakin Skywalker and Amidala will талу in 

ING ABOUT THIS “Episode Il,” which begins shooting next year. According to 
‘One spoiler site, after the young queen dismisses Anakin in 

STORMTROOPERS “Episode 1” as “just a boy,” he s “I won't always he.” 

ARE HORRIBLE SHOTS. 

ITS/YDU'REOUR і 


ONLY HOPE 


SOMEONE TEETERS 
DVER AN ABYSS 


‚ LECTURE ABOUT THE 
» FORCE/DARK SIDE 


HANO OR ARM GETS 
CUT OFF 


= ROPE SWING 


TALKS YODA FUNNY 


C-3P0 ROUGHED UP 


> 
X 


53 


27 
3 


The movie of the century opened May 25, 1977. The 
next day, "The New York Times" called it the most 
beautiful movie serial ever made. е Designers 
modeled the "Millennium Falcon" after 
the shape of a hamburger sitting 
next to an olive. "Do... or do not. 
There is no try."—vopa е George Lu- 
cas didn't want the finale of “The Em- 
pire Strikes Back" to leak out, so the 
actor playing Vader was given a false 
line during filming—some say it was 
“Obi-Wan killed your father." « All this 
leads to Ewoks? е Watch in “Star Wars" for the trilo- 
一 gy's most famous blooper: a 
y OE stormtrooper rushing into a 
С Й | control room bumps his head 
е Fe on a low beam. е Choose 
one? “Empire.” е “Never 
Е tell me the odds!”— 
нам * The sound made by the TIE fighters 
was created by combining an elephant's 
scream with the noise of a car driving on wet 
pavement. е Other films released in May 1977: “The 
Car,” “Day of the Animals,” “Smokey and the Bandit.” 
* Sissy Spacek auditioned for the part of 
Leia; Christopher Walken and Robby 
Benson read for Han. е Best spoiler 
site: jedinet.com. е The title of an early 
draft of the “Star Wars” screenplay Я 
was “The Adventures of the Starkiller.” 
e “I'd just as soon kiss a Wookiee."— 
LEIA е Phone the official "Star Wars” 
fan club and hear the song “Yoda” 
(sung to the tune of the Kinks' “Lo- 
la") while you're on hold. е Best ru- 
mor: When Natalie Portman sprained her ankle 
during the filming of “Episode I,” Lucasfilm corrected 
her limp digitally. « The Bill Clinton Award for Fudging 
the Truth goes to Obi-Wan, who tells Luke, “Darth Va- 
der...betrayed and murdered your father.” When 
Luke finds out differently, Obi-Wan explains, “What I 
told you was true, from a certain point of view.” е Get 
in line: “Episode ІІ” (2002); “Episode III" (2005). 


PLAYBOY 


100 


DJ CULTURE 

(continued from page 81) 
with sonic booms, stuttering high hats 
and an array of blips and sirens—the 
new rock and roll. 

Today there is a DJ for everyone— 
club kids, road trippers, even head 
bangers. Some just drop booty music. 
Others spin ambient listening music. 
Without a doubt, Djsare providing the 
soundtrack to the late Nineties. For a 
new generation of listeners, they are on 
their way to surpassing guitar bands in 
credibility and popularity. In the hands 
of a good DJ, the future works. Tech- 
nological change translates into beats 
per minute—and everyone can party 
to that. 

The music is fast becoming ubiqui- 
tous. Three different Fatboy Slim songs 
popped up in ads during last year's Su- 
per Bowl. Volkswagen, 
Oldsmobile and Philips 
pump the stuff in their 
TV spots, and the worst 
of it is lapped up by 
sports highlight shows. 
On the fashion front, 
designers have co-opt- 
ed club looks and now 
feature cargo pants, 
platform shoes and su- 
per-wide-leg jeans in 
their runway shows. 
And thriving websites 
like Delia's and Alloy 
can overnight 48-inch- 
wide pants—at the cuff— 
to kids stranded in the 
heardand. 

DJs now enjoy rock-star status. They 
are youth-culture heroes and groupic- 
worthy electronic music pioneers. 
They also know how to make money. 
The Guinness Book of World Records re- 
cently added a new category: most suc- 
cessful club DJ. British DJ Paul Oaken- 
fold grabbed the honor with more than 
1 million record sales and an annual in- 
come of $400,000; England's DJ Mag- 
azine also named him best D] in the 
world. Darren Ressler, editor in chief 
of Mixer magazine (which began as 
Mixmag in 1996), says Americans such 
as Josh Wink, King Britt, Armand Van 
Helden, David Morales and D] Icey all 
do very well recording and producing 
albums for a variety of labels. Some, 
like Morales and Frankie Knuckles, 
earn $30,000 for a remix and even 
get points. 

‘Theirs is a peripatetic entrepreneur- 
ial lifestyle, which perhaps explains the 
profusion of mixheads. Cell phones, 
beepers and laptops are as essential as 
record crates and turntables. During 
an average week, Nigel Richards, a 
Philadelphia DJ who set up 611 Rec- 
ords, will DJ up to five times. “You go 


to Virginia on Tuesday, Atlanta on 
Wednesday, you'll hit Los Angeles on 
Friday, Seattle on Saturday, New York 
оп Sunday—no biggie. It makes it 
seem like a small country. You keep 
wack of the miles. I want to save 15,000 
more so І can get two round-trip first- 
class tickets to Japan." 

The D] scene is just remote enough 
and new enough to make it a perfect 
youth culture. Like punk and rock be- 
fore it, the music makes the uniniti- 
ated older brother or parent reach to 
cover their ears. At Manhattan's tiny 
Bar XVI on First Avenue, the crowd 
looks menacing and slightly druggy— 
though such traditional rave enhancers 
as Special K, Ecstasy or even coke and 
crystal meth are nowhere to be found. 
As drum and bass DJ Dieselboy—im- 
ported from Philly for the night—or- 
chestrates an obscure assault of beats 


MONEY. 


and blips, intense fans here or there oc- 
casionally break out into an Irish jig. 
Then they'll stop as suddenly as they 
started and flash a shy grin at a neigh- 
bor. Other than that, there is litle that 
resembles dancing. Not so at a typical 
big-name DJ show. At a Fatboy Slim 
concert the music is easily recog- 
nized—he's not above spinning Planet 
Rock or When Doves Cry. A time-warped 
visitor from the old Studio 54 would 
immediately notice comforting similar- 
ities (and odd differences) on the dance 
floor. For one, everyone dances—but 
facing the same direction. The mirror 
ball has been replaced by computer 
game-style graphics on huge screens. 
And everyone stares intently at the DJ. 
Periodically Fatboy Slim holds up an 
album, waves it above his head and 
smiles. The crowd roars. 

“American crowds tend to be on less 
drugs than English crowds," says Nor- 
man Cook, a.k.a. Fatboy Slim. “There's 
more of a drug culture in England. 
The first thing that strikes you is the 
faces. People are actually having tons of 
fun, but they look like they're in pain. 
And sometimes you look at people's 
faces and they're trying to say, ‘I'm 


DJs ENJOY ROCK- 
STAR STATUS. 
HEX ARE YOUTH- 
CULTURE HEROES 
AND ELECTRONIC 
MUSIC PIONEERS. 
THEY ALSO KNOW 


HOW TO MAKE 


having a really good time,’ but it looks 
like they're saying, ‘I have a very sharp 
piece of metal up my bottom and some- 
body's wriggling it around.” 

е 


As Fatboy Slim, Cook has sold more 
than 500,000 copies of his most recent 
album, You've Come a Long Way, Baby. 
He even pulled down Spin's 1998 sin- 
gle of the year for The Rockafeller Skank. 

Cook by far prefers life as Fatboy 
Slim to when he played bass in the suc- 
cessful English pop band the House- 
maruns. In the band, he says, “I could 
get free drinks and get laid every night. 
Musically, though, it wasn’t what 1 
wanted to do. I'm nota very good bass 
player, and I'm not particularly happy 
stomping around onstage and doing 
sound checks every day. But the DJ 
lifestyle seems to suit me, and DJing 
seems to be what my tal- 
ent is." 

So when did putting 
on records become so 
glamorous? Though the 
roots of DJ culture 
reach back to the Six- 
ties, things began to 
spin faster with the ad- 
vent of electronic dance 
music. In the States, 
clubs in Chicago and 
Detroit pushed the 
form with house and 
techno music. Instru- 
mental music exploded 
in British and Europe- 
an clubs at the end of 
the Eighties. The boom had two major 
implications for DJ starpower. First, 
the DJ no longer had to stand—literal- 
ly and figuratively—behind a vocalist 
or rapper. Second, music composition 
now consisted of manipulating pre- 
recorded, preprogrammed or preex- 
isting sounds—the very thing DJs had 
been doing for years—meaning that 
the distinction between electronic mu- 
sician and D] completely broke down. 

Jonathan More, of the British duo 
Coldcut, says things developed to the 
point where he began to question the 
definition of DJ as disc jockey. "We 
added two extra turntables to our set- 
up. so we had four turntables and two 
mixers he says. "We progressed from 
there to using samplers and CDs and 
eventually to laptops—and manipulat- 
ing things on laptops. And now we do a 
lot of the stuff on laptops. That's what 
we call a digital jockey." 

There is still a school of DJing that 
centers on manual skills, tricks and ac- 
robatics—the physical act of DJing on 
two Technics 1200s. The DMC organi- 
zation, producers of Mixer magazine 
and a series of excellent DJ-mix CDs 

(continued on page 156) 


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“It’s courtesy of the gentleman seated at the other end of the bar, тағат.” 


ONY , 


miss june slides into the spotlight 


tthe age of 15, Kim- 

berly Spicer decid- 

ed that she wanted 

to pose for PLAYBOY. 
Four years later, between 
modeling school, winning 
Michigan's 1998 Hawaiian 
Tropic swimsuit pageant 
and working the night shift 
at Hooters, she made it 
happen. We mer the amhi- 
tious 19-year-old for lunch 
in Chicago. 

Q: What are the ingredi- 
ents in a Kimberly Spicer? 

A: Take a mother from 
Mexico and a father from 
Tennessee. Then stir in 
strong opinions and a pas- 
sion for dancing. 

Q: When do you feel you 
changed from a girl to a 
woman? 

A: When I was 15 I had 
a Mexican coming-out 
party. It was exactly like 
a wedding—there was a 
church ceremony, a cake 
and dancing—except that 
I didn't get married. 

Q: We noticed that you 
have your belly button 
pierced. How did you deal 
with the pain? 

A: It wasn't as painful as 
getting my tongue pierced. 
Then, 1 was drooling all 
over, holding my friend’s 
hand so tight that his fin- 
gers turned blue. When I 
go to clubs I wear a glow- 
in-the-dark ball on my 
tongue. It's cool. 

Q: We know why we're 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY RICHARD FEGLEY 


indy Crawford fans. Why are you? 

A: She's the reason 1 became a mod- 
el. The first time І saw her in a maga- 
zine, І thought, I want to do everything 
she does, including posing for PLAYBo 

Q: You also want to become an un- 
dercover investigator. Do you enjoy 
looking through other people's stuff? 

A: No, but I love to solve problems 
and figure things out. That show New 
York Undercover rocks. 

Q: What do you do to whoop it up in 
Detroit? 

A: I go to clubs and dance with my 
friends. It’s funny, though—I've nev- 
er been drunk or done drugs. І don't 
have the desire. 

О: Under what circumstances would 
a one-night stand be right? 

A: Never. To те, sex isn't just sex 
175 something intimate that’s shared 
between two people. Like marriage, 
sex is sacred. 

Q: Is there anything about guys that 
pisses you off? 

A: The worst thing a girl can do is 
stay with a guy who dogs her out. I 
should know—I've been there before. 


Q Are you dating anyone now? 

А: Yes. And do you know how I know 
that he's a great guy? Because he treats 
his mother with respect. They say if 


Le's good w his mum, heil be goud to 


his girl. 


agg 


“Being famous is not ту gool,” Kimberly soys. "I wont to be known, but І don't wont fome to interfere with the normolcy of my life ond 
my relotionships with people. Thot's why I'm not moking o big deol out of this PLAYBOY thing.” As for her love life? “I'm not the kind of 
106 girl who dates oround. Even though I'm young, I'm reody to settle down ond get married. І think I'm on old soul—I'm 19 going on 25." 


PLAYMATE DATA SHEET 
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HEIGHT: а A WEIGHT: ee 

BIRTH pare: 17-80. BIRTHPLACE: 
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AMBITIONS : 
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TURN-ONS: (УД А 1 
LONA, dL of Hm s Y ҮҮ 
TURNOFFS: 化 NAATA, CUADO ADA 


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WORDS TO LIVE BY: ES | Nu ДАП NY) u 
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rve LEARNED: МОЛЛ ТО? іда hon AMANNA 
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with Guest ALARI v 
«іол ртг gıno Haii Горе. От kha job 


PLAYBOY’S PARTY JOKES 


Do you have any Viagra in stock?" the man 
asked the pharmacist. 

"Yes, sir, I do. 

“Can 1 get it over the counter?” 

“Well, sure," the pharmacist replied, "but 
only if you take three of them." 


The rumor in Silicon Valley is that Microsoft's 
official release date for Windows 2000 will 
be delayed at least until the second quarter 
of 1901. 


Р лувох crassıc: Two Southern belles were sit- 
ting on a porch swing, sipping mint juleps and 
chatting. “Do you see those acres and acres of 
Kentucky bluegrass out there?" the first asked. 
"When my daddy dies and goes to heaven he's 
leaving it all to me. 

y, my!” the second said. “How fine!" 

"And do you see all those beautiful Thor- 
oughbreds out there in those fields? When my 
daddy dies and goes to heaven he's leaving 
them all to me.” 

*My, my! How fine!" 

"And do you see this big plantation man- 
sion? When my daddy dies and goes to heaven 
he's leaving it to me, too!" 

“My, my! How fine!” 

“My daddy is doing all that for me. What did 
your daddy ever do for you?” 

“Well, my daddy sent me to an exclus 
ishing school.” 

“What good did finishing school do you? 

“Well, it taught me to say, "Му, my! How 
fine" instead of ‘Fuck you, bitch!" 


vc fin- 


Graffiti seen in an airport rest room: "Earth is 


full. Go home.” 


Years after giving up on the idea of mother- 
hood, a 65-year-old woman had a baby w 
the help of a fertility specialist. All her relatives 
came to visit. When they asked to see the baby, 
the mother held them olf. "Please, not yet," 
she said. 

A little later they asked again to see the baby. 
"Not yet," she repeated. 

Alter an hour, they became impatient. "Well, 
when can we see the baby?” 

"When the baby cries," she said. 

“Why do we have to wait until she crie 

“Because,” the mother said, “І forgot where 
I put her." 


THIS MONTH'S MOST FREQUENT SUBMISSION: Feel- 
ing that death was near, an old man са 
attorney. “І want to become а lawye 
fellow said. "How much is that qui 
you told me about?” 

"Around $50,000," the lawyer replied. "But 
do you want to become a lawyer now?" 
hat's my business. Get it for me! 
Four days later the old man got his law de- 
. His lawyer was at his bedside. Suddenly 
the old man was racked with fits of coughing 
and it was clear that this would be the end. Still 
curious, the lawyer leaned over and said, “Be- 
fore it's too late, tell me why you wanted to get 
a law degree so badly." 

In a faint whisper, as he breathed his last, the 
old man said, "Now there's one less lawyer. . . ." 


wh 


Bumper sticker spotted in Los Angeles: priv- 
ER CARRIES NO CASH. НЕЗ MARRIED. 


Deep within a forest a little turtle began to 
climb a tree. Alter hours of effort, he reached 
the top, jumped into the air waving his front 
legs, then crashed heavily to the ground. Alter 
recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, 
jumped and fell heavily to the ground. 

The turtle tried again and again while a cou- 
қопа branch watched his sad 
efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her 
mate. “Dear,” she chirped, “I think it's time to 
tell him he’s adopted.” 


Seen on the back of a Hell's Angel's 
YOU CAN READ THIS, MY BITCH FELL OFF. 


A salesman had to leave the country on bu 
ness and entrusted the job of keeping a 
on his wife to his best friend, leaving instruc 
tions to notify him tely should any- 
thing out of the ordinary occur Afier a week of 
no news, the businessman received an e- 
“You said to notify you of any change at your 
house. The man who comes to visit your wile 
every night didn't show up yesterday. 


Send your jokes on postcards 1 Party Jokes Editor, 
PLAVEOY 680 North Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, 
Illinois 60611. or by e-mail to jokes@playbay.com. 
$100 will be paid to the contributor whose submis- 
sion is selected. Sorry, jokes cannot be returned. 


"I said this is where we came in!" 


L nda 


DIES 


ч | 
& Gradi 


THE BEST GIFTS FOR THE BEST GUYS 


DADS (left to right): Nakamichi's SoundSpace 8 stereo system includes a five-disc CD changer, ап AM-FM 
tuner, wall-mountable satellite speakers and a booming subwoofer (51000). The limited-edition Bardahl Spe- 
cial, by Fournier Enterprises, is an aluminum 1:7 scale model of a 1953 Sprint Car ($2300). Combine Filofax’ 
calfskin Sandhurst organizer ($250) with a Graf von Faber-Castell alderwood-and-silver pencil set (5375), and 
give Dad an elegant way to.take notes. Minolta's Dimage EX digital camera features exchangeable lenses for 
creative shots from various angles (about $800). Cocktail shakers don't get much cassier than the Metro, a lim- 
ited-edition style fram the Classic Shaker Co. with a rich finish achieved by silver plating pewter ($400). The 
Alain Ducasse knife-set from Bergdorf Goodman combines four stainless steel knives, a serving fork and a 
ора board їп ап aluminum carrying case ($375). Sennheiser's HD5ß0 Fusion headphones, ergonomically 
designed for enhanced comfort, аге digitally compatible with CD, DVD and MD players ($130). Celestron's C5+ 
portable telescope has accompanied space shuttle missions ($2000). Rellerblade's Outbacks have jumbo 
wheelsfor off-road in-line skating ($250). The Panasonic 51-5Х460 CD player has a 40-second shock-resistant 
memory and-con operate for almost two days straight on batteries alone ($110). Candy truffles, by Vosges Haut 
Chocolat, contain such exotic ingredients as curry, wasabi and Hungarian paprika (about $50 a pound). 


GRADS (left to right): Take your graduation party to the beach with Totally Gross’ TailGator, а 60-ounce даз- 
powered blender with enough torque to whip up a batch of margaritas іп 15 seconds ($365, including а соғту- 
ing case). Porsche's radio-controlled Boxster is a 14-inch toy that can reach a top scale speed of 210 mph ($90). 
The Palm У (5450), by 3Com, has а wafer-thin design and brushed-metal exterior, plus all the organizer features 
that make the original Palm Pilot great. Diamond Multimedia's pocket-size Rio (5200) can store 60 minutes of 
digital music downloaded from the Internet. The Jeep Z-Case boom box looks like a briefcase but opens to re- 
veal а CD player, AM-FM weatherband receiver, speakers and storage slots for six compact discs (5200). Advent's 
AW770 wireless stereo headphones transmit audio via 900-megahertz radio frequencies (about $135). On the 
table, Wenger's Mini Grip Swiss Army Knife has 13 implements, including pliers and a detachable socket bit 
drawer with six screwdriver bits ($100). Two great toys: Jugglebug's 20-inch unicycle with steel forks and shafts 
(about $100) and Apple's iMac, "grape" flavored and loaded with a 266-megahertz ©З processor, 64 megs of 
RAM, a six-gig hard drive and a 24X CD-ROM spinner (about $1200). On top of the iMac is Philips’ USB PC cam- 
era (about $100) for sending video and still images over the Net. For an equally voyeuristic adventure, Big Eyes 
military binoculars are capable of 40X magnification ($2910, including tripod). 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY JAMES IMBROGNO 


WHERE & HOW TO BUY ON PAGE 168. 


personality by Glenn O’Brien 


efore there was a Blondie there was a girl named Deborah Harry. A cute kid adopted by a 
nice middle-class New Jersey family, a junior college graduate who fantasized about Mar- 
ilyn Monroe being her natural mother. 

Here's Deborah Harry as she looked in her art modeling days. She's having an ice tea 
and inspecting her face for blemishes. It is a very hot day. She is nude and contemplating. Look- 
ing in the mirror she discovers, Yes, it's true. І am beautiful. Maybe I could be a Playboy Bunny 
and not an artist's model. Not that it’s hard work, being an artist's model. I’m certainly not 
ashamed of my body. But what's with the backbends? 

This folk rock thing is really big, she thinks. So she joins a band called the Wind in the Willows, 
a folkie group but with a name that alludes obliquely to pussy. 
She also puts on some clothes and gets a job as a waitress at Max's Kansas City and waits on 


NIMA PHOTOS 


ELA еы. i 


122 


famous folk rock musicians such as Bob Dylan and Bob 


Neuwirth, and famous artists like John Chamberlain and 
Larry Poons or Andy Warhol and his entourage. Waitressing 
аг Max's is educational but not too lucrative. 

So Debbie went for bigger tips. She became a Playboy 
Bunny. The tips were bigger and so were the ears. But this 
was not enough to fulfill the budding artiste. So Debbie 
dropped out to consider the existential question: Now what? 
While thinking this over, she worked briefly as a hair- 
dresser and began experimenting with blondeness. Blonde- 
ness was something Debbie would redefine. With her it was 
always an attitude, a state of mind, a sort of gorgeous Fuck 
You. She was never blonde all over or anything resembling 
natural. There was usually a dark patch in the back. Often it 
was the way it is now, blonde in front, natural in the back. It 
was a statement, although Debbie contends it just turned out 
that way because she did her hair herself and couldn't see 
back there. 

In the early Seventies Debbie met this beatnik-type guy 
named Chris Stein, who was definitely a real arust. She 
could tell because he was attending New York City's School 
of Visual Arts on a welfare scholarship after being released 
from a mental institution. Chris must have been a real artist, 
because he didn't hit on her right away. Hc talked to her and 
played guitar for 
her, thus sweeping 
her off her pret- 
ty feet. 

Soon Debbie 
and Chris were 
playing together in 
a protopunk band, 
the Stilletoes. After 
rocking around 
for a while with the 
group, Debbie and 
Chris went off on 
their own as Angel and the Snake. (Guess who 
was the angel and who was the snake.) Not the 
best name, but this was the germ of Blondie—a 
name that was suggested to Debbie by truck dri- 
vers and construction workers. 

Blondie settled down on the Bowery, within 
walking distance of the band’s favorite venue, CBGBs. The 
band was Debbie on vocals, Chris on guitar, Clem Burke on 
drums, Gary Valentine on bass and Jimmy Destri on key- 
boards. Today Destri says he never played at his audition 
The band liked his hair and his suit. 

Blondie was bad in the beginning. According to legend, 
Patti Smith told Debbie to get out of rock and roll. But the 
band had nowhere to go but up. And they were smart. Clem 
brought an immaculate pop sensibility, Jimmy brought roots 
in Brooklyn doo-wop melody, Gary brought a punky back- 
ground. Chris brought enlightening, psychedelic, ironic, 
artistic dementia. And Debbie brought . . . Debbie. 

By 1976 Blondie had become a favorite on the small but 
ready-to-explode punk scene in downtown Manhattan. A 
legendary music-biz guy, Marty Thau, and producer Craig 
Leon—who had just produced the Ramones’ first record— 
signed Blondie to work with Richard Gouchrer, who had 
produced hits such as the Angels’ My Boyfriend’s Back and the 
McCoys’ Hang on Sloopy. The arrangement worked ош well 
and the band went on to record an album with Gottehrer. 
The record was well received and the band headed for Los 
Angeles to spread the news. David Bowie and Iggy Pop 
picked up on it right away and invited Blondie to tour 
with them. 

Blondie's second album, Plastic Letters, appeared іп 1977 
and introduced the band's first number one hit in England. 
‘They followed quickly with Parallel Lines in 1978, produced 


by Mike Chapman. This album, which eventually sold more 
than 20 million copies, produced a slew of hits, including 
Hanging on the Telephone and Sunday Girl and their first num- 
ber-one in the U.S., Heart of Glass. The hits kept on coming: 
Dreaming, Atomic, Call Me, The Tide Is High. 

Blondie had the knack for radio hits, but they were also 
adventurous. Heart of Glass was the first rock-disco fusion, 
coming at the height of the Disco Sucks movement. “We did 
it because we wanted to be uncool,” said Debbie. And The 
Tide Is High, a cover of a Jamaican single, was number one. 
Rapture was the band’s homage to rap. Blondie was now 
huge. It was in constant demand for touring. Debbie got 
movie offers. All the musicians started working on young 
acts. Debbie made a solo album with Nile Rodgers and Ber- 
nard Edwards of Chic. Everybody worked every day. No- 
body ever took a vacation. Until - . . boom. 

Blondie never officially broke up. The band’s chemistry 
was volatile after the sixth album, The Hunter, was released. 
It involved the ego dueling that often accompanies sudden 
success, as well as some of the usual pharmaceutical catalysts. 
But Blondie's 17-year hiatus was a direct result of Chris 
contracting a rare, life-threatening illness. He was hospital- 
ized for months before doctors figured out the problem. 
Debbie dropped out of sight to nurse Chris back to health. 
The band members went their separate ways. Clem briefly 
joined the Eurythmics. Jimmy went to exotic places like 
Paris and Staten Island and dropped out of music for a 
while to raise a family. Debbie acted in movies and made so- 
lo records. But after the passage of years they all realized 

that they had some unfin- 
ished business. 

Clem recalls, “My dad 
died about two years ago 
and Debbie and Chris came 
to the funeral—I never 
would have expected that. 
E think it was around that 
time we decided we would 
be able to work together.” 
Nobody was broke or any- 
thing, but maybe the band 
realized there was a musi- 
cal void out there they were 
eminently qualified to fill. Blondie wouldn't have come back 
just to cash in on the punk revival, like the Sex Pistols did. 
But they came back with higher motives, such as artistic ex- 
pression and revenge 

“We never would have done a nostalgia thing,” Chris say 
“Get out and play our old hits. That would be too tacky.” So 
the band went into the studio with Craig Leon as producer, 
the first person ever to get them intoa studio. It took longer 
than other Blondie albums to record, but No Exit features 14 
new songs that rock to the band’s high standards. A few 
weeks after the album’s release, the single Maria hit number 
onc in England and the top-ten charts in the U.S. And it's 
not just a resurrection of the Eighties Blondie sound. Ihe 
band is still experimenting, doing weird progressive mu- 
sic—Transylvanian vampire rock, bebop-tinged lounge, a 
far-out rap duet with Coolio. And then there's stuff that just 
has Blondie hit written all over it, like Forgive and Forget. 

Blondie 1999 is a band of grownups, more or less. Mel- 
lowed juvenile delinquents at worst. “Everybody's a lot less 
fucked up now,” Chris says. “Well, everybody's still fucked 
up, butit's more natural. In the old days we were stoned and 
horrendously fucked up and negative about everything. To- 
day nobody's stoned and we're still horrendously fucked up. 
but now we're really positive about everything. Our neu- 
roses used to be free-floating. Now they are firmly anchored." 

It's surprising how little they have changed. There's 

(concluded on page 167) 


“Will that be all, sir?” 


123 


SCREAMING PROCESSORS, 


PLANE TRIP is one of the few occasions when you can 
spend uninterrupted quality time with your com- 
puter. No phones, no spur-of-the-moment meet- 
ings. Just the chance to focus. And because the air- 

plane now doubles as an office, it's also a great place to 

procrastinate. Who's to say you can' slip the director's cut of 

Blade Runner into your DVD-ROM drive? The best portable 

computers can put the business of a Fortune 500 company 


MEMORY, MOVIES TO GO— 


in your lap one minute and a cinema, arcade or alien bat- 
defield the next. In fact, with lightning-fast processors, cry 

tal-clear screens, giant hard drives, speedy network and 
modem connections and surprisingly good stereo sound, new- 
generation notebooks rival the best desktop machines. Yet, 
buying one still means deciding how much weight you want 
to carry (anything more than five pounds can get heavy 
fast). Do you need a big screen or a compact case? Wading 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY RICHAR 


с 


LA 


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ELE О GA 


THE HOTTEST NOTEBOOKS BY TED С. FISHMAN 


It’s easy to be distracted by the software, but the hardwore go! avr attentian. These four notebook computers earned top ratings in our 
test of more than a dozen of the best portable systems. All af them are serious pawerhauses with features on o par with the best desk- 
lop computers, and euch offers something unique. Lefi to right: Compag's Presario 1900-366 comes with а removable docking station 
containing DVD and floppy drives as well as keyboard buttons that launch yau directly to your e-mail, browser and favorite search en- 
gine ($3200). IBM's ThinkPad 7702 has a 13.7" monitor with one af the highest reselutians of any natebaak and a sizable keyboard that 
wan't cramp yaur typing style (55100). Gateway calls its Sola 3100XL the Fire Ant, a fitting name for a workhorse that weighs a mere 
five pounds and comes with an onboard DVD drive and an external flappy drive ($3150). And Apple's PawerBaok СЗ 300 MHz DVD 
the Jeff Gordon of noteback camputers, a speed deman that outpaced the pack in ward pracessing, games end movies (about $3700) 


En 


125 


PLAYBOY 


126 


through the thousands of configura- 
tions from dozens of manufacturers 
can be a huge time suck. Because time 
is what your machine is supposed to 
save, we've selected the top four note- 
book computers on the market (plus a 
few runners-up). Those that made the 
cut were judged on everything from 
performance to case of use to tech sup- 
рогі to portability. The good news: Pow- 
er differences among the winners are 
insignificant; they're all major work- 
horsesand play 


chines we review here have them). A 
touch-pad control device makes getting 
around easy (compared to the tedious 
pointing sticks on some of the compe- 
tition). And while the PowerBook G3 
is ideally suited to those in Apple's 
niche—designers, publishers, musi- 
cians, website builders and users of big 
video files—it's possible to have a Win- 
dows-based PC at the office and еНес- 
tively take the PowerBook on the road. 
Apple's operating system makes swap- 


horses—com- 
plete with 
DVD-ROM 
drives and 
56kbps mo- 
dems. And all 
the respective 
manufactur- 
ers make trou- 
bleshooting 
painless wich 
toll-free cus- 
tomer-support 
lines that offer 
just the right 
amount of 
hand-holding. 
These are the 
similarities. 
But each com- 
puter also has 
unique fea- 
tures that have 
earned ita spot. 
in our ranking, 
which we detail 
here and high- 
light (along 
with impor- 
tant technical 
specs) in the 
accompanying 
chart. It's a 
sure bet ıhat 
if you choose 
any one ofthe 
four notebooks 
меуе selected, 
yov'll want to 
book extra fly- 
ing time just to 
allow yourself 
to get better acquainted. 


THE BRAWNY AND THE BEAUTIFUL 


Apple PowerBook СЗ (300 MHz 
DVD) ($3700): Apple ncarly died two 
years ago, but its new PowerBook G3 
notebooks prove resurrections can be 
moving experiences. The world's fast- 
est portable computer, the PowerBook 
gets its speed from the IBM/Motorola 
PowerPC chip. It sports a jumbo 14.1- 
inch screen that's as bright as a TV set, 
which is great for presentations and 
even better for movies. Apple built in 
a DVD drive (all of the top four ma- 


GATEWAY 
SOLO 
3100XL 


ping files between Windows and Mac 
machines easy, while the reverse (open- 
ing Mac-created documents on a PC) is 
not true. Further, you can purchase 
programs, such as SoftWindows, that 
let you run PC games and application 
software on the Mac. Of course, as with 
many notebooks, application software 
is sold separately, thus jacking up the 
cost of the notebook by hundreds of 
dollars. Still, the PowerBook G3 is an 
pressive piece of equipment. And 
with its cool rubbery black case, it's a 
supremely hip accessory that will gen- 
erate envious stares, 


IBM ThinkPad 770Z ($5100): IBM 
offers Windows users the best cure for 
Apple envy with its ThinkPad 770Z. It, 
too, has a large screen (13.7 inches), 
probably the best on any notebook, 
and audio pumped from the small 
speakers is surprisingly full and bright. 
But the best feature of the ThinkPad 
7702 is its keyboard, with keys nearly 
the size of those on a standard desktop 
model, all ergonomically arranged to 
avert the digital gymnastics other note- 
book makers 
require of busy 
hands. The 
best machines 
in the Win- 
dows universe 
run on Mobile 
Intel Pentium 
11 chips, and 
this one is по 
exception. Pow- 
ered by the 
366 MHz pro- 
cessor, the 


ThinkPad 
7702 сап han- 
Ше even the 
most 


taxing 


ing running 
DVD movies 
smoothly rath- 
er than in the 
herky-jerky, of- 
ten grainy fash- 
ion common 
on less power- 
ful machines. 
At almost cight 
pounds, the 
machine is a 
real back- 
breaker over 
the long haul. 
and its large 
size won't let 
you work com- 
fortably on a 
coach-class 
tray table. But 
ifyou want the 
most muscle, 
you have to bulk up. A warning: The 
ThinkPad 770Z, as with all the ma- 
chines covered here, promises more 
battery life than it usually delivers. Fast 
chips, bright screens, big sound and 
quick drives gobble up more power 
than a Death Valley air conditioner. 
Don't expect more than two hours of 
power if you insist on running multi- 
media without external juice—no mat- 
ter what the manual states. 

Honorable Mentions: The Compaq 
Armada 7400 and the Toshiba Satellite 
4080XCDT match most of the features 

(concluded on page 160) 


Y 


гаў t 1 4 y % уҹ 


" 


“Look, Susan, it was your idea that we vacation at this 
romantic South Seas paradise." 


TN 


LT 
of the 
ЦД 


“People have always told me I resem- 
ble Marilyn Monroe,” Heather says. 
“When І cut my heir short, I started 
hearing it all the time—in the grocery 
store or at the post office. І think of 
Marilyn as a sexy icon. I'm not trying to 
be like her, and I could never replace 
her, but people compare us. They say 
I'm the hip Nineties version of Marilyn.” 


Ve = 


м 
Б м“ б 


he past year has been a total trip,” says Heather Kozan pattering barefoot across 
the blond wood floor in her new Hollywood Hills home. She glides from room to 
room, giving a tour of the boudoir, the Japanese-inspired bathroom, the office and 
the skylight-equipped TV area. Then it’s out through a glass door and onto a vast 
stone porch, where Heather sweeps her arm in the air to emphasize the thousands 
of tiny lights shining below. “West Hollywood is over there. And that's Burbank. 
And the Playboy Mansion," she says, pointing toward the landscape like a real es- 
tate agent trying to sway Leonardo DiCaprio into buying the property, “is right 
over there." She takes a deep breath and exhales, (text concluded on page 148) 


E 
Kc Es 
| CR 


‘ve grown up a lof," Heather says 
about spending the past 17 manths 
іп the spotlight. “I've changed men- 
tally and physically. When І go back 
to Akron, same peaple don't recog- 

nize me—they do a triple take." She's 


come a long way since her flannel- 


shirt days. “I think people perceive 
me os being classy and saphisticated. 
I like ta wear elegant, beautiful 
dresses, For the parties 

at the Mansion I go all out.” 


No More peNciLf, No More books, No More teachers’ dirty Looks. Now WHat? 
to paraphrase jay-z, the real world if а hdrd-kNock life. graduation Means Leaving the Shelter 
of campus ама being thrust headfirst into а brutal, unfamiliar eNviroNMeNt where people Have 
Jobs and boffef ама actually care if you've washed your clothes ана cleaned your apartment. 
but postgrad Life alfo kdf itf perkf—parcheckf, chriftmas parties, golf outings and that Sexy 
harvard grad with the Short skirt who fits in the cubicle Next to yourf. Неге if fome advice оң 
making а Smooth transition into adulthood. 


[INE arug T-WANES FoR YouR CLesET 


straight Shoes: Wing tips are ideal. They're good for your first office job and they send a 
reassuring message to postgraduate females. 


Six White shirts; Colors come and colors fade, but a crisp white shirt can set up any suit and 
tie. Hunt the racks for your favorite style—you'll be surprised at the variety. When you find one 
you like, buy six. There’s nothing worse than trying to hide a stain. 

the charcoal fuit: The suit has to be dark. 

the essential Sports coat: Now is not the time to skimp. Use your newly found credit power. 
You can wear the right Armani for ten years (cheap jackets look like shit after a year of heavy 
use 一 or a year on a hanger). 

4 good belt: Throw away the buckle you’ve been opening beer bottles with and spring for a 
sleek belt. The buckle should be classic and understated—you'll be wearing it every day. 


1 wow те CELA oP Yeqî Ает 


problem: Tattoo 
soluto: Laser treatment. Start early; you'll need five to 
eight sessions spaced four weeks apart before the ink is gone. 


аааааааааааа 


pickup football “а golf Note: Blue and black inks are easier to remove than red and 
campuf bookftore ¥* ikea yellow are. The cost is $75 to $300 per session, depending on 
School fight Jong “аў м Лон Statement the size of the tattoo. 

„edu => сом Probles: Multiple piercings 

velcro watch 99 tag Heuer solution: Speed the healing process by making sure you're. « 
quake 7** avicken getting enough zinc and vitamin C. Tongues heal quickest, but 
герой: card © job performance evaluation earlobes may never heal completely. Many types of holes will 

big gulp => starbucks Venti coffee be too small to notice in a few weeks. 


Probles: Punk-rock dye job 

solution: Don't try to fix your hair at home. A professional 
colorist can restore it to its original hue for about $50, 
depending on thickness, length and color. 

problew: You inhaled. Now you must 
pass a drug test. 

solution: Heavy users and those with 
excessive body fat are most at risk of fail- 
ing. Casual users may pass a test after two 


ApviGt ел REAL Ys 


¡Save money now. Take advantage of your company's 
401(k) or profit-sharing plan. You're kidding yourself if 
you think Social Security will be able to support you 
after you retire. Social Security might not exist in 30 


years. 3 
“Hon kleik, 23 or three days’ abstinence, though the longer, 
When you're in an office setting, watch what you say. NZ/ the better. Whatever you do, don't give a spec- 

1 once told a questionable story to а co-worker in the || RRA AB imen first thing in the morning. Drink fluids: 

office cafeteria. Just as the story reached its climax, a 人 lu The more water you drink, the more you wi 


female co-worker walked in and showed her displea- Mr sample. 


sure that we were having such a conversation. I real- 
ized that I was with co-workers now, not friends. 


Martin Lieberika, 24 


proble: Your girlfriend has marriage pangs. 
soluto: Move back in with your parents and she'll 
move on. 

proble: Silver dollar-sized hickey. 

sotution: Rub it with an ice cube and hope for the best. 


ILLUSTRATION BY STEVEN CUARNACCIA 


Pesrécurge DATING бе. 


So much for fraternity date parties and the excessive alcohol that made hooking 
up in college a cinch, In the real world, know the following: (1) Handing a 
woman your business card will project a holier-than-thou vibe. It’s a fun 

prop, but save it for corporate schmoozing and trying to win free lunches at 2 
T.G.1. Friday's. (2) Pickup lines are dead. (3) You'll meet girls in bars, at 
the gym and at the bus stop, but the best way to find a potential girlfriend is to 
ask friends to set you up. (4) Clean sheets matter. So does the way your apart- 
ment smells. (5) Always have a decent (315-920) bottle of wine in your apartment. 


he Yeu REED INSRAREE 2 


You're young, you're making money, you're acquiring things. What could go wrong? Plenty. 
difabitity: Disability insurance pays you an income if you're unable to work for 

medical reasons. 

f you have a home, car, pet, business or anything that might cause you to be sued, you should obtain 
surance. Determine how much coverage you need and how much you can afford; a minimum of 

$1 million coverage is prudent. 

Auto; Different states require different types, so check with an agent. At the least, get liability for bodily injury (it 
protects you іп case you're іп a wreck and you get sued). Liability for property damage covers the other guy’s car ог 
mailbox. If you're driving a new car, collision insurance covers repair costs no matter who's at fault. 

Life: There are many types, including term, whole, variable and universal. Term provides coverage at a lower cost 
while you're young, with escalating costs as you grow older. Whole, variable and universal policies һауе built-in savings 
plans with higher premiums. Term is usually more appropriate for young people who are able to save on their own. 


Beebe Reve of ікчетің 


һе your money in зс 


‚something with legs. 
ReeWMAATE RED [ASS 


red flag: He carries a pager that his girlfriend gave 
him. Meaning: You'll have two roommates, not one. 


(1) AtLanta: “Irs filled with young people 
from all over the Southeast who come here 


ing significant other. 


fails to reciprocate. Meaning: He's cheap and won't 
likely chip in on stuff for the apartment. 
red flag: He works the graveyard shift. Meaning: 
He'll sleep all day and keep you up all night. 
тей flag: He's in a punk, thrash or metal band. 
Meaning: They need a place to practice. 

A ted flag: He doesn’t want to “commit” 
UA, to signing a lease. Meaning: If he 
N ditches out, you'll 
be stuck paying the 
full rent. 


red flag: Не 
doesmt want 


to pay the secu- 
N “Га тігу deposit. Meaning: 
He has destructive 


zy impulses and you'll 
NY 


end up paying for 
damages. 


ЧӨ ЧУ ЧУ ЧУ ЧУ ЧУ ЧУ ЧУ ЧУ ЧУ ЧУ ЧУ ЧУ ЧУ ЧУ ЧУ ЧУ ЧУ ЧУ ЧУ ЧУ ЧУ ЧУ ЧУ ЧУ ЧУ ЧУ ЧУ ЧУ ЧУ чу ч» 


Count on incessant late-night calls from his overbear- 


теа fiag: When you buy the first round of drinks, һе 


right out of college looking for adventure,” says 
Jamie Allen, an Atlanta-based writer. Major indus- 
tries include Coca-Cola, MindSpring and CNN. 
There's also a burgeoning technology community. 
Bonus: the Braves, Falcons and Hawks. 

(2) austin: The next hip technopolis is home to 
1 million residents, the University of Texas and 1750 
technology companies. “Here,” says Josh Hinsdale of city 
search.com, “hippies cavort with rednecks and high school 
punks hang out with grayhairs in business suits." Bonus: live 
music (great roots music and country) seven nights a weck. 

(з) charlotte: Banking's second city boasts more banker 
yuppies than any other city in the South. Home to a slew of big 
banks (NationsBank and First Union), manufacturing compa- 
nies (Gunk is made there) and some technology companies. 
Bonus: nearby Blue Ridge Mountains and Lake Wylie. 

(4) portland: Sixty-five miles from Mount Hood, this city 
boasts such companies.as Adidas, Nike and Columbia Sports- 
wear. Bonus: the most microbreweries and brewpubs in the U.S. 

(3) MINNEAPOLIS: Northwest Airlines, Best Buy, Pills- 
bury and Rollerblade are based here. The city features more 
theater seats per capita than any other metropolitan area (ex- 
cept New York). It also has 2? lakes and 170 parks. Bonus: Gov- 
ernor Jesse Ventura. 

(6) seattle: Microsoft is one of 2500 computer-develop- 
ment firms in the area. Biotech is another major industry. The 
music scene is still groundbreaking. Bonus: Remote wilderness 
is less than an hour away. 


146 


C TiPs FoR ReueehATing 


6 (1) take a virtual tour: Once you have a few 


job-RELATED ім 


stock option: Standard at small companies 
where cash is tight. A way for start-ups 10 at- 
tract talented people. 

Medical benefit: Employees choose med- 
ical insurance from a mix of options, in- 
cluding health maintenance orga- 
nizations and preferred-provider 
organizations. May include vision, 
dental and standard life insurance. 
You will have to participate in the cost. 
vacation and Leave: Most employers 
provide paid vacation days (Thanksgiv- 
ing, Christmas, New Year's Day) and after 
a certain amount of time (usually a year of 
employment) two weeks of paid vacation. 
Most employers provide a set number 
of paid sick days. If you are 
a salaried employee, you 
should be allowed to miss 
work for jury duty without 


cities in mind, visit cityguide.lycos.com. 

Û) afk around: If you use a por- 
tal such as AOL, search the 
member base for people in 

the areas you're consider- 
ing. E-mail them with ques- 
tions such as cost of living and 
best neighborhoods. 
(з) visit hoMefair.com: The most com- 
prehensive relocation site on the Web pro- 
vides tools to help you compare cities on cru- 
cial criteria such as cost of living. It has a salary 
calculator to help you compare your net worth іп var- 
ious locales. And the moving calculator will help you 
determine the cost of getting there. 
(4) Shop for ан apartment or a house: You can do this 
online via homefair.com, rent.net or www.springstreet. 
сот. Some city sites offer links to classificd listings. 


(3) assume nothing: In many large cities, landlords 


losing pay. The Family and skimp wherever possible. What you consider essential — 
Medical Leave Act mandates that employees receive a refrigerator, an air conditioner or a stove—may not be 
up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave for a birth, adoption standard equipment. Specify what you want before sign- 
or family illness (the benefit is usually offered after ing а lease. 

a year in companies of 50 or more workers). Some (6) have references: In areas where the rental market is 
companies also offer child care benefits and flexible tight, many landlords require a reference or two (some- 
spending accounts (employees use pretax dollars to one with whom you have a rental history or a local per- 
pay for health and day care). Many companies offer son who can vouch for your character). Don't fake it— 
education benefits (employees take job-related col- most landlords who ask will check. 

lege courses and get reimbursed). (7) if vou саң afford to, hire professionals to Help vou 
christmas bomus: A thing of the past, unless you ‘ove: Take essentials and fragile items with you in the 
work on Wall Street. car. If you have to 285 yourself, recruit friends and 


thank them by providing 
beer and food all day long. 


(6) маке а task 
Lift and time- 
Line. This will 
help you get the 

ical jobs (such as 
arranging for utili- 
ties) done in time. A 
useful timeline can 
be found at pipeline 


</ 
press.com. 
(9) plan vour route. If 
you're driving a 24-foot 


rental truck that’s 13 feet 
high and weighs 13,000 
pounds, you need to stay off 
roads with low bridges or tree 
limbs. Check out mapquest.com 
to find the best way to go. 
(10) be prepared. No move has 
ever gone smoothly, so leave your- 
self extra time for everything. 
Double- and triple-check reservations 
and timelines. Carry a list of critical 
phone numbers, including the rental 
truck roadside service number and AAA. 
Any more questions? Check out the Real- 
Life Guide to Life After College. 


Wer CAREERS 


All medical and professional specialties, including accoun- 
tants and PR and marketing executives: Projected to add the 
most jobs—4.8 million—between now and 2006. 


U) new Media maven: Any job related to the Internet, 
from engineering websites 10 creating content to selling 
banner space. “You have the opportunity to help enable 
companies in a unique way,” says Michael Tucker, busi- 
ness strategist for hesketh.com/inc. 


@) sales engineer: Used in the software-hardware 
business, these are “tech specialists who understand the 
sales cycle,” says Allen Wyke of Engage Technologies. A 
sales engineer works with a customer's tech people to 
handle implementation and assume respon: ity 
through the life of the partnership. "They're often the fac- 
tors that close the deal.” 


(3) Leisure consuitant: People are working longer and 
harder than ever, and many need help planning their down- 
time. Leisure consultants Coordinate half-day outings to the 
local woods or multiweek expeditions to the hinterlands— 
anything to force their busy clients to have some fun. 


(4) patient reprefentative: Aging baby boomers will 
use medical care at record rates. “Patient representatives 
are part social worker, part advocate, part confidante, 
part spirit booster,” notes a patient advocate. They work 
all angles of the health care maze (insurance, hospital, 
doctor) to ensure the best outcome for their clients. 


‚ а а а а а а A A A A A A A A A A A A A Б A A A A A ц Б A A A 全 & 


Geck Te ¡PRESS 


dinner: italian-style chicken for two 

3 tablespoons olive oil 

2 strips bacon, finely chopped 

1 onion, finely chopped 

1 bay leaf 

1 teaspoon fresh rosemary leaves, chopped 
1 teaspoon fresh thyme leaves, chopped 
Salt and freshly ground pepper 

6 chicken thighs (bone in) 

1 large can (28 oz.) Italian plum tomatoes 
1 cup red wine 


(1) Ina Dutch oven, heat olive oil and cook 
bacon 1 minute; add onion, bay leaf, rose- 
mary and thyme and sauté a few more min- 
utes. Remove and set aside. (2) Salt and 
pepper chicken; brown it on both sides. 
Add bacon-onion-herb mixture. (3) Add 
tomatoes and wine, bring to a simmer, then 
cook over low heat for 40 minutes. (4) 
Remove chicken and set it on a platter. 
Continue cooking sauce until it thickens, 5 
to 10 minutes. (5) Reheat chicken in sauce 
for five minutes. Serve over rice or polenta. 


THE тісте BEND THE TITLE 


51416; Attorney, public interest law firm 
truth: Earn peanuts while learning you're not 
John Travolta in A Civil Action. Bonus: Discover 
that egomaniacal senior partners aren't limited to 
the private sector. 


title: Customer service representative, credit 
card company 

truth; Be a punching bag for irate debtors 
while shilling bloated, expensive life insurance 
policies. 

tit Le: Property services associate, building 
management. 

truth: Grab your plunger and get up 

to 14B. 


title: Publicity manager, book publisher 
truth: Kiss ass, make reservations, feign 
bookishness, kiss more ass. 


title: Beat reporter, small-town daily 
newspaper 
truth: Fight to stay awake during city council 


ҚА Ает їттАтА [eR we 


1 tablespoon olive oil 
1 tablespoon shallot, finely chopped 

1 tablespoon onion, finely chopped 

1 red bell pepper, diced 

4 eggs (large or extra large) 

Salt and freshly ground pepper 

1 tablespoon butter 

2 tablespoons freshly grated parmesan 

1 teaspoon parsley, chopped 

(1) Ina small skillet, heat olive oil over medium heat. (2) 
Sauté shallot and onion until translucent. Add red pepper 
and sauté a few more minutes. Remove mixture from heat 
and let rest until just warm. (3) Beat eggs in a bowl until 
well blended. (4) Add the cooled shallot-onion-red-pepper 
mixture, along with salt and pepper to taste, to eggs (if mix- 
ture is too hot, you'll end up with scrambled eggs). (5) 
Reheat skillet to medium high and melt butter. Add egg 
mixture and cook until eggs set on the bottom (about 30 sec- 
onds). Sprinkle with grated parmesan, then quickly turn 
heat to the lowest setting and cook eggs for about 15 min- 
utes. Then place skillet under the broiler for another 
minute. (6) Transfer the frittata to a serving plate and sprin- 
kle with parsley; to serve, cut into halves or fourths. 


screwdriver aNd Hammer 

corkfcrew 
duct tape 

duftbufter 
alarm clock 

overNigHt bag 
dark Jock 
оңе piece of framed artwork 
ANSWering Machine 
interNet Service provider 
wriftwatch 
saucepan 
Skillet 
coNdom/—iN the real world, 
they're Not free. 


meetings, write features on bake sales and locally grown 
squashes that resemble former presidents, accept the 
fact that you’re neither Woodward nor Bernstein. 
ГО 
VORDS 
“- 


/ 
SCA А ЕН Мі, AL VV 
Ill scatter all over the world for jobs 


Get an e-mail address. Your friends 
and grad school. E-mail is the easiest, cheapest way to stay in touch. 


Read everything you can and network. You never want to be in a staff meeting 
and not know what someone’s talking about. 


Don't live on credit cards. We all have friends who are $15,000 in debt. There are 
plenty of free or cheap things to do. 


No binge drinking. You're not on a safe college campus anymore. 


148 


PLAYMATE os rue YEAR 


(continued from page 131) 
then shows us that quintessential Heath- 
er smile (demure at first, then bursting 
at its scams). “І feel so peaceful up here.” 

Hollywood has been good to Heath- 
er Inthe past 17 months, she has land- 
ed а national Wendy's commercial, a 
part on Aaron Spelling's Rescue 77 and 
a stint as a spokeswoman for Trashy 
Lingerie, Los Angeles’ coolest under- 
wear emporium. But it’s the little 
things about Heather—the way she 
squeals with delight when her cat, Ko- 
komo, bounds onto her lap, or the way 
she blushes, burying her head in her 
hands, while watching her Playmate 
profile video (“І am such a dork! Look 
at that hair! Did you see me trip right 
there?")—that ensure that even if 
Heather Kozar becomes a 
household name, Heather 
will always remain the goofy, 
self-deprecating girl next 
door. This she promises. “I 
talk to my sister and friends 
from back home and ask, 
‘I'm not changing, am 1? Do 
I sound different? Snobby?" 
1 figure if my personality 
hasn't changed by now, it's 
not going to,” she says. 

Heather was born in Ak- 
ron, Ohio on May 4, 1976. 
“1 lived a sheltered Ше. My 
mom, a born-again Christian, was 
against nudity on TV, cussing and soap 
operas. She even freaked out about vi- 
olent cartoons. I wasn't allowed to take 
sex education class in school because 
my mom thought it meant we would be 
taught how to have sex. Growing up, I 
thought it was bad to be naked or to 
look at myself while in the bathtub. I 
had low self-esteem, because when I 
did those things, I thought І was doing 
something wrong.” 

When she was 18, Heather's father 
passed away, and his legacy taught her 
a valuable lesson. “All my father did 
was work his butt off. And where did it 
get him? Dead at 50. Ever since then, 
I've thought, Why work so hard and 
stress yourself out if it’s going to kill 
you? I make it a point to live a stress- 
free, fun-filled life. I surround myself 
with upbeat friends. I think І enjoy life 
more than most people.” Much of this 
enjoyment stems from the fact that 
since migrating west, Heather and her 
fiancé, Glen Barensfeld, have become 
part of Hef's intimate circle of friends. 
That, combined with the world's decla- 
ration that the Playboy Mansion is hip 
again, makes it impossible for Heath- 
er not to have a blast. “I try not to act 
like a maniac,” she says, describing the 
hundreds of late nights she has spent 
with Hef, his good friends Brande Rod- 


erick, Mandy and Sandy Bentley and 
the rest of the gang. “But boy, do we 
share a lot of laughs. When I'm party- 
ing, I know exactly how to push the en- 
velope. I сап be cute and fun and sexy 
and sassy and push it to the limit—like 
hanging out of a limo roof naked—but 
I always stop myself before 1 do some- 
thing totally stupid, I'd hate to be 
thought of as a sleaze.” Heather's fa- 
vorite Mansion event so far has been 
the New Year's Eve party, a fete that 
attracted such celebrities as the Red 
Peppers and actor Joaquin 

- “І wore this sheer lace dress 
with sparkles,” Heather says. “It was 
just on the edge—sexy but beautiful.” 
When they're not whooping it up at 
the Mansion, Hef's group can be 
found sipping cocktails in the VIP sec- 
tions of Los Angeles’ phattest restau- 


rants and clubs. “There are certain 
places we go each night of the week,” 
Heather says. “Wednesdays we go to 
Garden of Eden, Thursdays to Atlantic, 
and so оп. It’s so much fun to see first- 
hand how people react to Hef being 
back on the scene. All the guys—even 
celebrities—are like, ' You're the king!” 
It's amazing to be in the middle of the 
excitement. Hef is happier than he's 
ever been. | feel really lucky to be able 
to go to the Mansion any time I want.” 
Of course, Hef isn't the only one who 
attracts attention. “І don't really mind 
ifa guy comes up to talk to me in a bar. 
But I do mind if he says something ig- 
norant, such as “Nice rack.’ As an open- 
ing line, that's not going to cut it." To 
charm Heather, a guy has to be “fun- 
loving, generous and, of course, a good 
listener. Physically, I'm a butt and wings 
girl,” she says. Wings? “That's what I 
call a guy's back muscles,” she says. “If 
they're sculpted right, they look like 
angel wings.” Back in the house, Heath- 
cr examines a picture frame in the 
shape of a school bus that contains her 
dass photos from grades one through 
12. “I had a lot of boyfriends in first 
grade,” she says, motioning to a photo 
of a tiny girl with curly, maple-colored 
hair. “But then I lost my front teeth, 
and that was the end of that.” As a 
teenager, Heather wore flannel shirts 


and no makeup. She got along better 
with boys than with girls. “There was a 
lot of screaming in my face and crazy 
stuff from the girls,” she says. “I guess 
it's because their boyfriends liked me 
or something. It's not that I was bet- 
ter-looking than the other girls were— 
I think I was just nicer. High school was 
really a time of confusion for mc. I had 
good days and bad days, fun times and 
not-so-fun times. I guess everyone goes 
through that.” Going back to Akron 
and flaunting their success in the fac- 
es of those catty schoolgirls might be 
sweet revenge for some. But gloating 
is not Heather's style. “Going to my 
hometown makes me nervous,” she 
admits. “I feel like I'm right back in 
that rut of wanting to be popular and 
in the best clique and wearing the right 
clothes. I'm proud that 1 did some- 
thing with my life, but I cer- 
tainly don't think I'm better 
Шап any of them." 

As a tecnager, being fa- 
mous never crossed Heath- 
er's mind. The problem 
was, she didn't know what to 
do with her life after gradu- 
ation. “І was accepted to col- 
lege, but I never sent in the 
check,” she says. On a lark, 
she decided to enter a local 
swimsuit contest. She won 
the top prize. Then came 
the Hawaiian Tropic swim- 
suit pageant and а nudge from a pho- 
tographer, who encouraged her to en- 
ter PLAYBOY'S lingerie model search in 
Cleveland. Once again Heather wowed 
Ше judges. 

In 1997 she appeared іп Playboy's 
Lingerie Model Search, as cover girl for 
the May/June 1997 Playboy's Book of Lin- 
gerie. She also appeared in another pic- 
torial in the July/August Playboy's Book 
of Lingerie. 

“Next thing I knew, PLAYBOY called 
me from Chicago, asking me to come 
in for a Centerfold test. I was like, 
“Huh? What? Ме? I found out on St. 
Patrick's Day that I was going to be a 
Playmate. Talk about an ego boost.” 
Two years later, and hundreds of miles 
from Akron, the 20th century's last 
Playmate of the Year sips a glass of 
merlot, amazed at her good fortune. 
It's 11 PM., and down on Hollywood's 
notorious Sunset Strip a line snakes 
around Barfly, where hundreds are 
waiting to enter Brad Pitt's birthday 
party for Jennifer Aniston. Up in the 
hills, a sleepy Playmate sinks into a 
white couch, Sure, she could hang out 
with Hollywood's A-list tonight, but 
what's the rush? If everything goes as 
planned, Heather will be the toast of 
the town soon enough 


“. . . And now, as you leave these hallowed halls and prepare to 


enter the world of litigation. . . ." 
149 


PLAYBOY 


CTE TW E EDF E GY 
PUSSYCAT TOLLS 
(continued from page 75) 
Robin Antin is a tease. And proud of 
it. Four years ago she turned her love 
for calendar pin-ups, burlesque queens, 
old-time strippers and showgirls into 
a sugar-and-spice, naughty-and-nice 
nightclub revue. The members, who 
have been stretching at the ballet barre 
since they were Іше girls, combine pro- 
vocative dance moves with flirty sensu- 
ality in a 30-minute show that features 
ten songs—from the bump and grind of 
Breakfast at Tiffany's “Hubcaps and Tail- 
lights” to a Roaring Twenties-styled 
number by the Squirrel Nut Zippers 
“It's hot,” says Antin, "but never raunchy.” 
Before they even had a name, Antin 
and her dancers were given their own 
night at the Viper Room by the cat who 
owned it, Johnny Depp. They came to 
Depp's attention through Christina Ap- 
plegate (see this month's 20 Questions), 
an honorary Pussycat who has, on occa- 
sion, tap-danced with the troupe. (An- 
other TV star to emerge from the Dolls 
is Carmen Electra.) As swing swung into 
the American consciousness, the Pussy- 
cats’ legend grew. Onctime Stray Cats 
member Brian Setzer used the girls to 
stroke his audiences when he played LA 
dates for his first solo album. Courtney 
Love hired them to dance for her then- 
boyfriend, actor Edward Norton. Nic 
Cage caught their show in San Francisco. 
Ehon John got them to shimmy for his 
guests at this year's Academy Awards 
party. Antin even cast the Dolls in videos 
she choreographed for pop-punk outfits 
Smashmouth and the Offspring 
Known as “the head honcho” by her 
dancers, Antin intimates that it takes a 
special kind of woman to be a Pussycat 
Doll. “You have to tweak your body a lit- 
tle. What we do is slithery, slinky and 
sharp. It's not just a dance show. All the 
girls play characters, and they need to 
get wild and crazy. During the show we 
strip down from a sailor's outfit to a cor- 
set, then another corset. By the end 
we're in Fifties-looking white bras and 
girdle panties. We have to be in touch 


with our femininity and sexuality.” 

And one more thing, says Алип: "You 
have to be able to kick your legs up past 
your ears." 

Five-foot-four blonde blue-eyed Lind- 
sley Allen is the littlest Doll. At the age 
of three, she started taking dance class- 
es, "because I was terribly shy. But my 
mother says that one day when I was 
five, I came out of her room with a big 
feather boa on, and they knew I was 
headed for something." She moved from 
pretzel town Hanover, Pennsylvania to 
Los Angeles in 1989 and has done all 
kinds of dancing. including an experi- 
mental piece in which "they splattered 
silver paint on my naked body; it was 
very liberating” and a year on tour with 
Prince's New Power Generation. She is 
ilingual— "English and Southern," she 
giggles—and currently shares quarters 
with two kittens. You may soon see her 
acting in the independent film Cessna. 

1f you caught Motley Crue on tour in 
1998, you probably noticed San Francis- 
co homegirl Leila Lee, who hosed down 
the audience with water guns and fire 
extinguishers. “I don't know how we got 
away with that,” she says. For Lee, who 
also danced for the Jane's Addiction re- 
union, rock and roll pays the bills, but 
learning is her passion. “І like to read 
Thoreau or Emerson as I'm watching 
the Discovery Channel while wrapped in 
feather boas." 

Vancouver native Kasey Campbell is a 
five-foot-seven blonde bombshell with 
icy-blue eyes and the baby-doll voice of 
Marilyn Monroe. The good news is that 
her old man doesn't mind; the bad news 
is she's married. "My husband is a danc- 
er, so he has seen it all," she says about 
her work. And she wasn't at all nervous 
about the prospect of appearing in 
PLAYBOY. "It was so much fun," she re- 
calls. "Everyone was complimentary and 
encouraging. And very generous with 
the champagne." 

The other Dolls call raven-haired San 
Jose native Staci Flood "the Beauty." 
She's the only Pussycat without a tattoo. 
As a musician and singer, she has per- 
formed in hip-hop videos, but she's 


proudest of her Doll parts. "What we do 
is a Vargas-girl cabaret burlesque thing, 
but it’s tasteful,” Although she enjoys 
travel, she describes herself as a home- 
body whose number one fan is “my boy- 
friend.” Rats. 

“In high school in Santa Monica 1 
tried so hard to be the tan Gidget,” Kiva 
Dawson recalls. “But I was a total goth 
chick, all angst-ridden and dramatic.” 
Today the pale brunette stunner loves 
cutting loose as a Pussycat Doll. “I'll be 
chewing gum, thinking I’m Betty Boop. 
People will say, "You're a goofball, and 
ГІІ say, "Yes, Lam!” 

Carmit Bachar, a Sephardic Jewish 
cross between Туга Banks and Marlene 
Dietrich, was a member of a national 
rhythmic gymnastics team before becom- 
ing а Pussycat Doll. She is frequently cast 
in rock videos (she mouths "give it to me 
baby" in the video for the Offspring's 
Pretty Fly) and enjoys yoga, spirituality. 
going out dancing and walking on the 
beach in Santa Monica vith her dog. 

“L am the towering Amazon of the 
Dolls," says five-foot-nine Angeleno Eri- 
ca Gudes. And underneath that Louise 
Brooks wig is a bleached-blonde Afro. 
“I'm the alternative Pussycat, with a 
pierced nipple, tongue and belly button. 
But my best asset is my butt.” Since she 
admits that men can be intimidated by 
Pussycatitude, she’s happy to reveal 
what turns her on. “Laughter is number 
one. I also like to philosophize and have 
great conversations, so I need a guy who 
can stimulate my mind.” 

So what's new, Pussycats? Robin Antin 
has plans. She has cast most of the Dolls 
as the Bombshells, Ann-Margret-meets- 
Barbarella confections, for a USA Net- 
work variety show Happy Hour. 

There із а website (pussycatdolls.com) 
and a proposed line of lingerie. There is 
even a script in development. “We'd like 
it to be a black-and-white documenta- 
ry,” says Lindsley Allen. “Or a sitcom on 
NBC,” Kiva offers. “As long as we get the 
old Seinfeld spot,” Kasey insists. 

Me-yow! 


IT'S LOUSY, WHAT 
WITH ALL THESE 


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PLAYBOY 


152 


tres4yje gruas 

(continued from page 80) 
lot more cheaply than some current re- 
combinant methods. Various plantibod- 
ies would cause sperm to clump togeth- 
er, limiting their motility, and also to 
stick to viruses and other pathogens to 
prevent them from entering cells. Clini- 
cal trials could begin next year, with an 
over-the-counter gel or lubricant avail- 
able about four ycars later. 


DEFLATING YOUR SPARE TIRE. 


In September 1997, after being tied to 
a sometimes fatal lung condition as well 
as heart-valve damage, the weight-loss 
drugs Redux (dexfenfluramine) and 
Pondimin (fenfluramine, the "fen" in the 
phen-fen combo) were withdrawn from 
the market. There are better ways to lose 
weight. 

"You've got an awful lot of stuff in the 
gyms out there that promises to promote 


lean muscle mass and body definition, 
and flush out fat,” says Dr. Peter Vash. 
"And most of that is dishwater. Really." 
Dr. Vash, executive medical director of 
Lindora Medical Clinics in Costa Mesa, 
California, is a clinical expert on obesity 
management. 

The key armaments in Vash's arsenal 
are appetite suppressants, both common 
over-the-counter pills (most of which use 
phenylpropanolamine) and new pre- 
scription drugs: 

Meridia controls the appetite by im- 
parting a sense of being full; Phenter- 
mine is the good half of phen-fen, and is 
still available under various brand names 
(Oby-trim, Ionamin, Fastin, Adipex-P). 
If taken half an hour before eating, phen- 
termine decreases hunger and increases 
a general sense of optimism. 

‘Tenuate works by manipulating nerve 
transmitters. 

But there are more-intriguing weight- 
loss possibilities in the future. 


“You know I hate it when you watch Big-Time 
Wrestling before sex!” 


Xenical: If approved, this fat block- 
er will be sold by Hoffman-LaRoche. 
Unlike appetite suppressants, this drug 
works directly on the gut, reducing fat 
absorption by 30 percent—no matter 
how much fat you eat. Where does this 
fat go? Out your nether end as an “oil 
discharge,” says Vash. (Other research- 
ers have reported an unfortunate side 
effect described as "anal leakage.") In 
clinical trials, patients lost 10 percent or 
more of their body weight over the 
course of a year, and experienced lower 
cholesterol and lower blood pressure. 

Leptin: This is even farther down the 
pipeline, perhaps five ycars off. Leptin is 
à hormone produced in fat cells. Amgen 
is testing to see if a synthesized form of 
leptin can cause weight loss. Lab mice 
got fauer when they didn't have enough 
leptin in their systems, thinner when 
they did. In early testing, humans on 
high doses lost an average of 16 pounds 
in six months. 

Neuropeptide Y blockers: Pfizer, in 
collaboration with Neurogen, is testing a 
group of drugs that decrease appetite by 
shutting off the neurotransmitter neu- 
ropeptide Y, which stimulates hunger. 
"Whether this will make any difference 
to the human whose brain overrides 
these things and says, ‘Oh, ће hell with 
`m still going to eat that dough- 
we don't know," says Vash. 

CP-644, 673: Pfizer's possible anti- 
obesity drug, derived from a South Afri- 
can plant, encourages people ro cat less. 
It’s being researched by Phytopharm, i 
collaboration with Pfizer. CP-644, 673 is 
considered an appetite suppressant. It 
works in rats and is now being tested in 
humans. 

СР-331, 684: Another Pfizer drug in 
testing fights weight gain by increasing a 
person's metabolism so they burn more 
calories. It's now in human trials that will 
show whether it works or not. 


HAIR TODAY AND TOM! 


RROW 


Hair transplants and surgical cover- 
ups for male pattern baldness have im- 
proved a lot recently, but thousands of 
years of trying have yielded only two 
drugs that work on men—neither of 
which is 100 percent effective, and both 
of which require six months or more to 
find out if they're doing any good. 

Minoxidil: The active ingredient in 
Rogaine is now available without pre- 
scription in two percent and five percent 
solutions. Rogaine's maker reported that 
2 quarter of men get moderate or bet- 
ter results—74 percent see minimal or 
n0 hair regrowth. More often, Rogaine 
halts further loss of hair, and that's an ac- 
noxidil also comes in a 
pill, as а blood-pressure medicine. But 
this form can have heart-d 
effects. It can also grow hair on places 
other than your head—"werewolf kind 
of hair," says one doctor, "all over." 

Propecia: Studies have found that 36 


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154 


percent of male patients who use Prope- 
cia show moderate or beiter regrowth, 
while 83 percent at least maintain 
their current hairlines. Propecia's side 
effects, which are often temporary, in- 
clude lowered sexual desire, trouble get- 
ting an erection and a decrease in semen 
amount—cach of which occurs in fewer 
than two percent of users. 

Perhaps the most discouraging word 
about hair growth is that no improved 
drugs are expected for at least five years. 


GETTING YOUR BEAUTY REST 


Everyone has trouble sleeping at one 
time or another. There's a booming 
over-the-counter business in sleep aids. 
No wonder pharmaceutical companies 
are turning up the heat to market pills 
that help you get a good night's sleep. 

Sonata: Under FDA scrutiny since De- 
cember 1997, this sleep medication will 
likely be on the market this spring. Wy- 
eth-Ayerst Laboratories, makers of the 
new drug, says that because Sonata is 
metabolized more than twice as fast as 


other drugs, it is less likely to cause next- 
day drowsiness. On the other hand, the 
new pill may not keep all insomniacs 
aslecp through the entire night, for the 
same reason. Sonata patients apparently 
have fewer withdrawal symptoms when 
they go back to drugless attempts at 
slumber. 

NGD 96-1: Farther behind, this un- 
named drug, another joint project of 
Neurogen and Pfizer, is scheduled to be- 
gin human trials this year. Neurogen re- 
searchers expect it to work quickly, but 
not so quickly that it leaves you awake 
again at four A.M. It shouldn't interact 
dangerously with alcohol, and isn't sup- 
posed to be addictive. 


FORGET ME NOT 


A decade ago, smart drugs were a 
medical trend. Purported to enhance 
memory, intelligence, perception, mood 
and sexual interest, smart drugs have 
encouraged few researchers to study 
their often faint effects. 

Smart drugs: There are two distinct. 


“You want weird? І dreamed I was lap-dancing Ken Starr." 


points of view about smart drugs. The 
smart drug people, who meet each other 
at smart drug parties and watering 
holes, say their experiences confirm the 
findings (claims) of the Cognitive En- 
hancement Research Institute that non- 
prescription drugs such as Hydergine, 
Piracetam, Deprenyl, GHB and pyeo- 
glutamate make our brains function bet- 
ter. What the drugs lack, says CERI ex- 
ecutive director Steven William Fowkes, 
is the "perception of legitimacy" that 
would come from FDA-accepted studies. 
But the FDA isn't of a mind to give its 
stamp of approval to a drug that may 
only make us operate better. And drug 
companies don't see much profit in pay- 
ing out $50 million or more to take a 
smart drug they can't patent through 
the FDA approval process. Still, says 
Fowkes, Piracetam and Deprenyl have 
developed such a following that they 
may, over the next decade, become ac- 
ceptable to the mainstream. 

The other camp. traditional research- 
ers, says that nobody knows whether 
smart drugs work. "But they're certainly 
not used extensively in psychiatric and 
neurological practice," says James Mc- 
Gaugh, director of the Center for the 
Neurobiology of Learning and Memory 
at the University of California-Irvine. 
"And believe me, if they were effective, 
they'd be used. There'sa crying need." 

So, the search for drugs to preserve 
and strengthen memory—cognition en- 
hancers—has been pushed by conven- 
tional researchers. Big drug manufac- 
turers have calculated the economic 
opportunity from such drugs among ba- 
by boomers as they approach Alzh 
mer's age. Only two drugs for cognitive 
enhancement have so far been approved 
by the FDA: Cognex and Aricept. Both 
improve patients’ brains, but not suffi- 
ciently. McGaugh evaluates them: On a 
scale of one to 20, normal people are 17 
in cognitive terms. The average Alzhei- 
теге patient is a 3. With Cognex or Ari- 
cept, the Alzheimer's patient moves up 
to5. 

But pharmaceutical houses have a 
much bigger market in mind. “The ma- 
јог companies are looking at a very large 
population of people who either have, or 
believe they have, a deficit in memory,” 
says McGaugh. These are people, he 
says, who notice the natural decline in 
cognitive function that comes with age 
“And they say.” adds McGaugh, “І just 
want to remember better. Who's to keep 
me from doing that? If I can have Viag- 
ra, why can't I have this?'" So, here's the 
name of a disease you may want to com- 
mit to memory: mild cognitive impair- 
ment. Mild cognitive impairment is what 
will happen to most of us as time goes 
on. The FDA considers this a disease 
worth developing drugs for. "Many com- 
рапіе are developing such drugs," says 
McGaugh. "Most of us believe that in the 
next decade or so some powerful new 


ones will appear.” At least two major 
trends are thriving at the moment: 

Brain receptors: Receptors receive 
and send messages in the brain, and ай 
ferent receptors react to different drugs. 
Prozac, for instance, works on the sero- 
tonin receptors. But 70 percent or more 
of the brains receptors are glutamate 
receptors, and rescarchers are hunting 
for drugs that can manipulate the func- 
tion of glutamate receptors. As we age, 
we have fewer brain cells. If receptors 
would work harder, they would make up 
for some of that loss. This process may 
even cause the growth of new cells. But 
most potential glutamate-receptor drugs 
have too many side effects to be safe. 

McGaugh is hunting for better recep- 
tor drugs, as are a lot of other rescarch- 
ers, including two from UC-Irvine 
(Gary Lynch and Richard Granger). The 
University of California, in fact, has tak- 
en out patents on a family of glutamate- 
receptor drugs. Lynch and Granger are 
working with Cortex Pharmaceuticals, a 
small Irvine company that has licensed 
the patents. The drugs have proved safe 
so far, and are now being tested to see if 
they work for people. Granger estimates 
that these drugs could be available in a 
couple of years. 

Gene switch: Researchers are looking 
for a drug that would use genetic manip- 
ulation to switch long-term-memory for- 
mation on and off. One protein (called 
CREB) controls whether we have a long- 
term memory of an event. Eric Kandel, 
a neuroscientist at Columbia Universi- 
ty, has founded Memory Pharmaceuti- 
cals to develop a pill that will work with 
CREB to improve our memory. Another 
CREB researcher, Tim Tully, an investi- 
gator at Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory 
in New York, has used a CREB switch to 
give fruit flies a photographic memory. 
He believes that a drug can eventually be 
found that will switch memory on when 
needed 一 or off, when not wanted. Tully 
gives an example of an unwanted mem- 
ory: the traumatic experience of the 
day-care-center kids who survived the 
Oklahoma City bombing. "If you could 
administer a memory suppressor to 
those kids in the hospital within a few 
hours of the event," he says, "you could 
block the formation of that emotional 
memory." Tully is a founder of Hclicon 
Therapeutics, a co-venture with the 
Cold Spring Harbor Lab, Oncogene Sci- 
ences and Hoffman-LaRoche that is work- 
ing to develop such pills. These memory 
drugs could be 15 to 20 years off. 


IN YOUR HEAD 


At least 85 new drugs are under devel- 
opment in the U.S. to treat mental disor- 
ders. And the existing pharmaceutical 
armory—from Prozac to Depakote—is 
already formidable. “We have great med- 
ications—that's been а real success story 
in the last five or ten years," says Glen 
Stimmel, professor of clinical pharma- 


cy and psychiatry at the University of 
Southern California Schools of Pharma- 
cy and Medicine. 

No one wants to feel bad, physically or 
emotionally. And the existing mood en- 
hancers have proven extremely prof- 
itable for drug companies. That's why 
there's no shortage of new miracle pills. 
Some drugs in development: 

NGD 91-2: This drug is for sufferers 
of generalized anxiety disorder, the most 
common of thc anxieties and one that 
many of us can identify with. Existing 
anxiety drugs like Valium have side ef- 
fects that include slecpiness, memory 
impairment and a dangerous interaction 
with alcohol. The new drug, aimed at a 
brain neurotransmitter, is expected to 
lower anxiety with fewer side effects. In 
a collaboration between Neurogen and 
Pfizer, it is being tested on humans. Wall 
Street pharmaceutical analysts expect 
that if this drug is successful, it will be on 
the market in the next four years. 

MK-869: Also aimed at the big market 
for anxiety (as well as depression and 
schizophrenia), this is a new type of anti- 
depressant intended to block a brain 
peptide called substance P. Merck Re- 
search Laboratories is developing the 
drug, which is already being tested with 
humans. MK-869 aspires to be the new 
Prozac, with fewer side eflecıs. 

Paxil: When it was approved for use 
in the UK to treat a widespread ar 
cty disorder callcd social phobia, this 


SmithKline Beecham antidepressant was 
scofled at in the British press as a "shy- 
ness drug.” Still fending off unsporting 
charges that the drug is more for parties 
than party phobes, the drugmaker has 
asked the FDA for approval to use it on 
the same disorder in the U.S. (To use it 
for a party, you'll have to think ahead; it 
takes a couple of weeks before the drug’s 
liberating effects begin.) 

NDG 98-1, NPY2: The first of these 
two drugs from Neurogen aimed at 
treating depression and anxiety focuses 
on the corticotropin releasing factor, a 
neurotransmitter not yet targeted by сх- 
isting drugs. Testing should start this 
year in human subjects. The second 
drug, which will be a longer time coming 
to market, aims at the neuropeptide Y 
receptor, and it could work faster and 
with fewer side effects than existing pills. 
Proponents also hope it will work with 
some patients who don't respond to cur- 
rent medication. 

R-Fluoxetine: It's already known as 
Son of Prozac. The rights to produce 
a sort of mirror image of Prozac were 
bought late last year by Eli Lilly as a way 
of continuing the company's stake in the 
depression-drug market. The patent 
protection on Prozac will end in 2004. 
R-Fluoxetine's patent stretches to 2015. 
Lilly plans to apply to the FDA for ap- 


proval by 2001. 


DAMN! 1 
AUNAYS FORGET 
ABOUT CASUAL 

FRIDAY! 


PLAYBOY 


156 


DJ CULTURE 
(continued from page 100) 
(Mixer Live), sponsors DJ championships 
all over the world. In 1999, DMC will 
host 15 regional contests around the 
country, luring 500 contestants. For the 
first time, the world championship will 
be held in the U.S—in New York, on 
September 17 and 18. Some DJs shine 
in this setting—San Francisco's Invisibl 
Skratch Piklz are so good they were ru- 
mored to have been banned from DMC 
events to foster more competition. DJ Q- 
Bert is credited with perfecting such 
techniques as the crab scratch, the flare 
scratch and others. “Some DJs are fan- 
tastic to watch,” says More. “Kid Koala, 
who's on Ninja Tune, is visually an amaz- 
ing DJ. It's like watching a master vio- 
linist at work.” Most DJs use such skills 
to build a party atmosphere. Some, such 
as the Chemical Brothers, are better 
known for creating atmosphere than for 
their dexterity with two turntables. 
Still, much of the music that con 
uted to the heightening of DJ status— 
slow-motion hip-hop instrumentals on 
Мо Wax Records, the often low-key ex- 
perimentation on Warp Records, the 
post-hip-hop of early Ninja Tune releas- 
es 一 was not good for dancing. Instead it 
made the case for turntable-as-prime- 


instrument. There are now bedroom DJs 
just as there were (and are) bedroom 
musicians. The turntable has reached a 
level of introspection and experimen- 
tation parallel to other musical instru- 
ments. Advertisers in such magazines as 
Mixer and URB offer 8500 DJ starter 
kits—vith two record players, a mixer 
and microphone—similar to the cheap 
electric guitar kits offered for decades. 
These days every town has a DJ who 
can pack a club. Chicago house turnta- 
blist DJ Rich says, "Though the DJ is a 
draw, you can always get another one 
There's no room for a big ego. You're 
not making it—you re just playing it. 
And if the DJ doesn't get the crowd 
dancing in four cuts, send him home." 
Back in the day, this dance party atmo- 
sphere gave rise to legendary Ате 
cans—D]s such as Carl Craig, Jeff Mi 
and Kevin Saunderson. Chicago is syn- 
onymous with house music, Detroit with 
techno. Norman Cook considers Amer- 
ican DJs Frankie Knuckles and Tony 
Humphries among his biggest heroes. 
"Here in England," says DJ Darren Em- 
erson of Underworld, "we were inspired 
by all the original Chicago and Detroit 
pioneers. People like Derrick May and 
Juan Atkins—they were star DJs to us." 
Despite the deification of American 
cities and DJs abroad, the electronic 


"It's bad enough when you call out another girl's name, 
but "Rover?" 


buzz that overwhelmed club culture in 
Europe went unnoticed in the U.S. Dar- 
ren Ressler of Mixer says, “There are 
many reasons why Detroit and Chicago 
legends aren't well known. Some of it 
was intentional on their part. Detroit's 
Underground Resistance refused to be 
photographed without masks. Many just 
wanted to produce and spin and not 
deal with fame." Cook ventures a theory: 
“It's the age-old thing of black America 
inventing something and white England 
digging it and working it out into a more 
palatable form. You'd say all the stars are 
English, but the guys I name as my he- 
roes are black Americans.” 


There is money to be made at all lev- 
els of fame. The costs to everyone in- 
volved 一 record labels, club owners, even 
the performers themselves—are much 
lower than with a band. “All my album 
cost,” says Cook, “was the digital audio- 
tape we mastered it onto—about 40 
bucks. Well, that and however much cof- 
fee 1 drunk while doing it. 

"It's all about overheads. If you're on 
tour and generating income, it's all 
right. But if you have these people on a 
retainer and you take six months off, it 
costs a lot of money. Now I have more 
freedom—I have to pay the wages of on- 
ly two people, a personal assistant and a 
recording engineer. If I wanted to take a 
year off, it wouldn't bankrupt me." 

The popularity of DJ styles is reflect- 
ed in the explosion of new gear and 
clothing (cargo pants, Day-Clo running 
shoes). G-shock watches (pictured on 
page 83) can even count beats per min- 
ше. Record bags have eclipsed back- 
packs as totes of choice among trendy 
kids. New acts frequently set up corpo- 
rate entities that do everything from pro- 
moting parties to releasing records. 

Many DJs also sell mix tapes through 
local record shops. Bad Boy Bill, a house 
DJ, sold about 30,000 copies of mix 
tapes before releasing his first CD. Mu- 
sic and specialty clothing stores have 
sprung up to satisfy scenesters. Liquid 
Sky, Soulslinger and Sonic Groove are in 
New York; Satellite Records is in Atlan- 
ta. Gramaphone and Untitled are in Chi- 
cago. Housewares and Faster Bamboo 
are favorites in San Francisco; Beat Non 
Stop is Los Angeles’. And Philadelphia 
has 611 

“We have two retail stores—611 is a 
record shop, 612 sells merchandise, rec- 
ord bags, shoes and clothing," says Nigel 
Richards. “Then we have our own cloth- 
ing line that we manufacture and sell to 
places such as Urban Outfitters and Un- 
titled in Chicago. We send exports to 
Germany, France and Canada. Then we 
have the 611 record label. 

“The niches aren't huge and estab- 
lished, so a lot of people involved in re- 
tail end up being DJs—usually they 
open stores because they're into music. 


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And it aids your notoriety. І opened 611 
and created a logo, and it definitely 
helped my DJ career. Now I'm making 
three times as much DJing as I do out of 
my own store.” Darren Ressler explains: 
“Тһе DIY spirit that fueled punk pushes 
entrepreneurs in America because there 
is so much potential." 

Coldcut designs and markets software 
to enable digital jockeys to move beyond 
vinyl. "Manipulating video material is 
powerful," says More. “We thought that 
if we had tight control over video and 
music, we'd get interesting results. We 
did stuff using Premiere, which is a slow 
program for doing video. It was frustrat- 
ing. So we thought we'd design some 
software that would enable us to do what 
we want, which is to play clips with sound 
and manipulate those in real time." 

For the first time since the death of 
disco, dance music has shed its image in 
the U.S. as a gay art form. As Ressler 
notes, “In America, there isa notion that 
if you like to dance, you're a fag. That's 
because the gay community has been 
most accepting of dance music from day 
one.” One of the most enticing qualities 
of today's dance music events, howev- 
er, is that the crowds are not limited to 
young, aggressive boys—the traditional 
rock fan. Crowds tend to be mixed in 
terms of sex and sexual orientation. Of 
course, some ostensible dance acts—the 
Prodigy, for example—draw audiences 
that more closely resemble those of a 
gangsta rap or heavy metal show. How- 
ever, Most music surrounding DJ culture 
is less frustrated, more embracing and, 
as a result, more an elixir for sexual 
escapades than а consolation prize for 
the lack thercof. Disco diva vocals still 
tend to be associated with gay clubs, but 
they've also become the near-universal 
soundtrack to wild parties. 


A kaleidoscopic array of music rum- 
bles across the dance floors and chill-out 
areas of clubs—and don't call it electron- 
іса. Like the many strands of rock, every 
subgenre (e.g., trance, techno, jungle, 
drum and bass) has a distinct history, a 
set of records that make up the canon, 
and as many detractors as fans. Take the 
genre known as big beat. Some fanatics 
trace its origins to а 1994 remix by Left- 
field of a self-titled single by Renegade 
Soundwave. Others will point to older 
material by Renegade Soundwave and 
Depth Charge. Still others single out the 
groundbreaking work of Andrew Weath- 
erall, who collaborated with Primal 
Scream on their seminal album, Screama- 
delica. In any event, the scene coalesced 
with the release of the landmark debut 
album by the Chemical Brothers, Exit 
Planet Dust. A host of other DJs and 
groups (Fatboy Slim, David Holmes, 
Monkey Mafia, Wiseguys, Dee Jay Punk- 
Roc, Bentley Rhythm Ace, Dub Pistols, 
Propellerheads) began to release similar 


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music (characterized by hip-hop drum 
patterns beefed up with the effects and 
bowel-loosening bass of techno and of- 
ten supplemented by fairly obvious sam- 
ples). Adherents adopted the name of 
Norman Cook’s famous club night called 
the Big Beat Boutique, which itself was 
modeled on the Chemical Brothers’ reg- 
ular party, the Heavenly Social. Big beat 
also includes more obscure platters such 
as the Fatboy Slim remix of Corner 

shop's Brimful of Asha, a series of compi- 
lations from Skint records called Brassic 
Beats Volume 1, Underworld's Born Slippy 
remix single and Unkle's remix of Bell- 
bottoms by the Jon Spencer Blues Explo- 
sion. And one could argue ad infinitum 
about a host of other items. For every big 
beat fan, there is someone who thinks 
the style is too obvious or too much like 
futuristic frat-rock. 

Where big beat people party, drum 
and bass DJs get arty—with breakneck- 
speed beats programmed in intricate 
patterns. The style emerged from the 
jungle scene, which basically took rag- 
gamuffin's hard dancehall reggae and 
added incredibly fast and furious snare- 
drum break-beats. Two pirate radio DJs, 
Jumpin’ Jack Frost and Bryan Gee, were 
pivotal in creating jungle by combining 
the technology and rush of acid house 
with ragga and dub. Other artists began 
to transform the genre. Some added 
house diva vocals. Others got minimalis- 
tic, until, having jettisoned all the reggae 
flavor, the music was left with just drum 
and bass. Hence the name. Many British 
legends originated in this scene, from 
the Godfather of drum and bass, Groove- 
rider, to Goldie, Roni Size, DJ Krust, Pe- 
shay and Ed Rush. 

House and trance seem to have the 
most mass appeal. Though house varies 
from diva-sung anthems to harder deep 
house, the foundations are still disco- 
inspired. Anchored by an invariable 
beat, the songs exploit basic melodies 
and elements of funk to attain differenti- 
ation. Trance is a melodic and main- 
stream descendant of techno. Grafting 
а neohippie image with rave culture, 
trance is closely related to Goa 一 New 
Age rave music that originated at beach 
parties in the Indian city of Goa. These 
genres also overlap with the progres- 
sive house of DJs such as Sasha and Dig- 
weed. As traditional techno faded, trance, 
Goa and resurgent house forms came 
to dominate the biggest venues—places 
that can't be filled by more abstract 
forms such as drum and bass. 

Electronic dance forms change and 
evolve as fast as the computers they're 
made on, and many of the changes are 
quickly reflected in new names coined by 
ournalists. One thing is sure. 
ions—and the music—will on- 
ly continue to grow. 


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(continued from page 126) 
of the ThinkPad 7702 (with adequate 
though less awesome screens, and no 
DVD on the Satellite) but for a lot less 
money, at about $3200 to start. 


LEAN AND MEAN 


Gateway Solo 3100XL ($3150): Gate- 
way calls its Solo 3100XL the Fire Ant. 
Like its namesake, this notebook is com- 
pact, light and uncompromising. Weigh- 
ing in at 5.2 pounds, it’s about as long 
and wide as a piece of notebook paper 
and only slightly thicker than an aver- 
age issue of PLAYBOY. Its 12.1-inch screen 
may seem small, but it's the biggest one 
in a machine this size. Powered by a 366 
MHz processor, the Fire Ant runs fast- 
er than most other computers with the 
same brain. So how does Gateway keep 
the computer's weight down? By build- 
ing in just one slot for removable disks 
and letting you choose to fill it with ei- 
ther a CD-ROM drive or the more ex- 
pensive DVD drive. Another trade-off in 
choosing lightweight computers is that 
you have to hook up a variety of separate 
pieces—speakers, floppy drives, CD 
ROM and DVD spinners—to make them 
as functional as their bigger kin. Besides. 
being easy to forget when packing, most 
of these add-on devices seem too flim- 
sy for travel. Fortunately, the Fire Ant 
is more self-contained than any other 
small notebook. That the floppy drive is 
separate (it attaches to the machine's 
parallel port) is no big deal for Net savvy 
guys, for files can be easily transferred 


PLAYROY 


22 L 


over online networks. 

Compaq Presario 1900-366 ($3050): 
Although it is slightly heftier than the 
Gateway Fire Ant, Compaq's Presario 
1900-366 sports another inch of screen 
and better speakers. It also comes with a 
small wedge-shaped detachable docking 
station that fits under the back of the 
computer and gives it all the drives and 
ports you'd find on a good desktop com- 
puter. Shed the wedge and the 1900-366 
drops to five pounds. The Compaq has a 
touch pad as its pointing device, which 
(as we mentioned) is a big improvement 
over the temperamental and sometimes 
hard to control pointing sticks in the 
middle ofthe keyboards ofthe other ma- 
chines. Another thoughtful innovation: 
Compaq has built special keys into the 
keyboard that make accessing and navi- 
gating the Internet one-button opera- 
tions, including one that instantly opens 
your e-mail. 

Honorable Mention: Sony's VAIO СІ 
PictureBook (about $9300) doesn't have 
as much muscle as the competition, but 
it packs a terrific one-touch punch. Built 
into the computer's lid is a camera that 
can shoot digital still photos or record 
up to 60 seconds of video. The lens flips 
from back to front so you can capture 
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TELEVISION 


(continued from page 38) 
science fiction paperbacks to reacquaint 
myself with the genre. The most fun part 
of this project was just siting back and 
reading all those great old books. 
PLAYBOY: Did you find them to still be 
great, or did some of them make you 
cringe? 

GROENING: You know, nobody can real- 
ly predict the future. Everybody gets it 
wrong. Nobody, in writing about the 
Eighties and Nineties, predicted that the 
way we would choose our evening's en- 
tertainment would be to go to a video 
store and pick out a movie by taking an 
empty box to the counter. There have 
been so many depictions of the future 
over the course of the century, and we 
just picked our favorite versions and 
mixed them up. When I pitched Futura- 
та to Fox I told them, “This show is not 
going to be bland and boring like The Jet- 
sons, and it’s not going to be dark and 
drippy like Blade Runner.” They said, 
“Oh no, don't make it like Blade Run- 
ner! Make it like The Jetsons!” І said, "It's 
not going to be like The Jetsons.” It's a 
mixture of the wonderful and the horri- 
ble. People are caught up in portentous 
events and are also consumed by distrac- 
tion and trivia. 

PLAYBOY: What were your science fiction 
inspirations? 

GROENING: І was inspired by the great s 
ence fiction movies I grew up watchin; 
2001, Blade Runner, Brazil and a few oth- 
ers. And writers like Robert Sheckley, 
Kurt Vonnegut, Frederik Pohl, Philip К. 
Dick, Robert Heinlein, Isaac Asimov, 
Arthur C. Clarke—the list goes on and 
on. Remarkable writers with fascinating 
ideas. I love their stuff. І don't know if 
they'd like my show. But then, I don't 
know if they'd like the future, the way it 
has turned out 

pravsov: Do you like the way the future 
has turned out? 

GROENING: When I was a kid, I was look- 
ing forward to monorail jet packs 
and all the rest. So this show is my bitter 
disappointment with the way the future 
turned out. On our show we have jet 
packs, but they burn your ass. 

The thing I find discouraging about 
the future, as it is now, is minimalls. God, 
I hate minimalls. And exhaust. So much 
car exl ‘That's something you don't 
sce depicted in too many visions of the 
future. 
PLAYBOY: Are you saying that Futurama 
has exhaust and minimalls? 

GROENING: Yes. There's lots of exhaust. 
And bad fast food, except it’s really fast 
now. A lot of things have changed— 
there are wild, futuristic hairdos, and yet 
Republicans still look like they model 
their hair after ventriloquists dummies, 
So some things remain the same. 
PLAYBOY: There are Republicans in the 
year 3000? 


GROENING: Yeah. In one episode Richard Nixon is reelected 
president. 

PLAYBOY: Richard Nixon? 

GROENING: His head. It turns out that Richard Nixon's head is 
still living in a jar in the Twentieth Century wing of the Head 
Museum, and it's a recurring character on the show. He's re- 
elected, but with a dynamic new body. In fact, that’s our open 
casting call to any celebrity who's alive today: If you'd like to 
be alive a thousand years from now, and youre willing to play 
yourself as a head іп a jar, give us a call. 

PLAYBOY: So Futurama has the usual science fiction mix of hu- 
mans and aliens and robots? 

GROENING: Yeah. Fry is a delivery boy for an interplanetary 
package delivery service called Planet Express, and his best 
friend is a corrupt robot named Bender, short for Bender 
Unit 22. Bender is one of the most corrupt robots in the 
history of science fiction. He drinks, he smokes, he reads 
mLaveov. He's a fascinating character because, like Homer 
Simpson, he has по guilt І think that may be the secret to 
both characters’ likability. It’s fun to imagine somebody who 
has no guilt 

PLAYBOY: Are you trying to say that Simpsons fans will find 
themselves on familiar ground here? 

GROENING: I think if you love The Simpsons, you're going to dig 
Futurama. If you hate The Simpsons, this show will be just as an- 
noying to you. 

PLAYBOY: And despite the change in setting, the characters still 
look like Matt Groening characters. 

GROENING: Yeah. I tried drawing characters with underbites, 
but they looked horrible. And 1 made their eyes small and 
beady for a while. Didn't work. My characters have to have gi- 
ant, golf ball-sized eyeballs. 

PLAYBOY: Still, you have managed to create your own uni- 
verse twice. 

GROENING: I've always been fascinated by people who create 
an entire world of dicir own, people like PT Barnum and 
Walt Disney and Hugh Hefner. And I like the puppet master 
aspect. There's no more masterful way of making puppets 
dance than working with cartoons, because you control cvery 
aspect. 

ылувоу: So Hugh Hefner has a special place in your person 

al pantheon? 

свовмімс: Yeah. One of my chores as a kid was to stack maga- 
ines in our basement in neat piles, so I got to look at PLAyaoy 
at a young age. And I was fascinated by Hugh Hefner. In the 
seventh grade I read a biography of him, which was confiscat- 
ed by the teacher. I left it on top of my desk at recess, and 
when I came back the teacher said, "Whose book is this?" I 
never admitted it was mine. Until now. 

That was the same teacher who confiscated Thunderball, the 
lan Fleming novel, because in one paragraph James Bond 
takes the bikini top off a woman and carries her into a cave. 
[Laughs] Of course, the teacher found that paragraph because 
we had earmarked it. 

PLAYBOY: You talked about admiring puppet masters, but in 
Futurama you get to write the next thousand years of human 
history 

GROENING: That's part of the fantasy: What would happen if I 
had my own TV show and could do whatever I wanted with 
it? And that's what we did. Basically, The Simpsons is a result of 
my growing up watching TV and realizing that I was spend- 
ing way too much time doing it. І thought, The only way І сап 
justify watching all this TV is if I end up making my own TV 
show. Then this will all have been research. And Futurama is 
more of the same. I spent so much time thinking about the fu- 
ture and about science fiction ideas, so it's fun to actually use 
them. Also, so little of science fiction is actually funny, it's fun 
to play games with it. І just hope real science fiction fans will 


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PLAYBOY 


162 


Willie Brown 


(continued from page 88) 
Achtenberg's gay constituency now be- 
acked up an impres- 
sive win. Sworn in on January 8, 1996, 
Brown promptly showed the citizenry 
what was in store for the next four years 
by throwing himself an inauguration 
party so wildly extravagant that his de- 
tractors compared it to the excesses of 
Versailles. With local restaurants and 
wineries supplying the food and drink, 
and fat-cat sponsors picking up the ex- 
orbitant tab, Brown entertained some 
75,000 ecstatic revelers at a wharfside 
street bash that raged till nearly dawn. 


Brown rode into office on a crest of 
public goodwill and media adoration, 
and from the beginning he seemed de- 
termined to grab the entire chaotic city 
by the heels and shake it until everything 
fell into its ordered place. He was every- 
where at once, reeling off plans for am- 
bitious new development projects, an- 


nouncing sweeping changes in city gov- 
ernment, blithely commenting on every 
subject from world affairs to the price 
of the Borsalino hats that had become 
rakish trademark, and performing 
his ceremonial duties with a swank joie 
de vivre that hadn't been seen around 
city hall in years. “I'm into happiness!” 
the mayor giddily announced, and all 
of San Francisco seemed to share the 
sentiment. 

MAYOR BRINGS CITY TOGETHER! raved 
one newspaper headline early in his 
tenure. S.F THRIVING UNDER BROWN pro- 
claimed another. And indeed, in a city fa- 
tally splintered by narrow-focus interest 
groups and ancient political rivalries, the 
mayor appeared to possess a preternat- 
ural ability for bringing warring factions 
to the table. 

And things were getting done. After 
years of political timidity and bureau- 
cratic log jams, civic enterprises that had 
been stuck on the drawing board sud- 
denly sprang to life. The sprawling Mis- 
sion Bay project, the largest urban re- 
newal scheme in the city's history, got a 


“All my life Pue been waiting to meet a woman 
like you. But the waiting has been so much fun, Гое decided 
to keep on waiting.” 


green light after decades of dormancy. 
Plans for a new waterfront stadium for 
the San Francisco Giants finally won ap- 
proval. Construction cranes appeared 
everywhere, and it seemed as if the foun- 
dation were being dug for a whole new 
city. San Francisco was humming, and 
Willic Brown was incontestably the pow- 
er source. 


When he was born in 1934, at the rock 
bottom of the Depression in Mineola, 
Texas, Brown's unmarried parents were 
so poor that instead of going to a hospi- 
tal, his father, an itinerant waiter and 
sometimes pimp named Lewis Brown, 
paid a midwife $7 to deliver the baby. It 
was one of the few contributions he ever 
made to the welfare of his son. 

With his mother gone off to Dallas to 
k as a domestic, Brown was raised by 
is maternal grandmother, a formidable 
ned Anna Lee Collins. The 
family business was a local watering hole 
called the Shack, where you could not 
only geta pretty good hamburger but al- 
so avail yourself of a taste of the moon- 
shine Brown's uncles distilled in the near- 
by woods. His grandmother, says Willie 
Brown fondly, was a born outlaw. 

"She was an incredible woman, a beau- 
tiful woman, tall, thin and angular, with 
great high cheekbones, probably a com- 
bination of wl African American and 
Native American," says the mayor. "She 
was totally and completely fearless, and, 
without any education, she was insunc- 
tively the smartest person I ever met. 
She raised us five grandchildren with a 
great degree of love, but no real ten- 
derness, so to speak. You had to meet 
the standards." 

Brown was a bookish, voluble boy who 
excelled in math. He got into a little 
trouble here and there, but his grand- 
mother kept him in line. "She knew what 
you were going to do before you did it," 
he says with a laugh. "Fo nce, she 
never let me handle the coll. n plate 
in church because she knew Га be mak- 
ing funny change.” 

But it was his uncle, Rembert “Itsie” 
Collins, who provided Brown with both 
a role model and entree to a larger 
world. Itsie was a dandy and a gambling 
man who had left Texas during World 
War IL to join the great migration of 
blacks to the West Coast. In San Francis- 
co, he started up a little floating gam- 
bling operation. It was so successful that. 
within a few years he had opened a back- 
room casino in the black ghetto of the 
Fillmore District. On his frequent trips 
ut quite the figure with 
his big cars and flashy clothes. With local 
racial tensions making his family uncom- 
fortable, it seemed logical to send Willie 
to San Francisco after his high school 
graduation so he could join his prosper- 
ous unde. 

Willie worked his way through college 


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selling shoes—and as an occasional 
lookout for Uncle Itsie’s San Francisco 
casino. He then attended a local law 
school. His first job was as a "street law- 
yer" in the Fillmore, which was known 
for its after-hours clubs and і 
ing dens, and his practice consisted pri- 
marily of defending prostitutes, drug 
dealers and petty thieves. This wasn't ex- 
actly what he had envisioned when he 
decided on a career, but upon graduat- 
ing from law school, he discovered that 
none of the white-shoe firms downtown 
were interested in hiring a young black 
lawyer, even one as bright as he was. 

At the same time he was also making 
a name for himself in the city's bur- 
geoning civil rights movement. In 1961 
Brown became the focus of one of the 
city's first big antidiscrimination protests 
when he and his wife were refused in 
their attempt to buy a home in an all- 
white housing development. Local ac- 
tivists threw up a picket line that became 
a cause célébre among San Francisco 
liberals, and even though the Browns 
never bought the house, their defiance 
spurred the local progressive communi- 
ty into action. 1t also led to his first, un- 
successful run for the State Assembly on 
a civil rights platform in 1962. 


It was around this time that a Pacific 
Heights public relations woman named 
Marion Conrad. who regularly fed items 
to Herb Caen, decided that Caen need- 
ed to know this razor-sharp young айог- 
ney with a preacher's eloquence and a 
sartorial flair. "I guess she felt that I 
would make good copy for Herb, so she 
arranged a luncheon for the three of us 
at Trader Vic's,” Brown recalls. “Herb 
and I immediately realized that we en- 
joyed the same kind of put-down hu- 
mor, and we started zinging each other 
unmercifully, which of course left poor 
Marion mystified. From that day on 
Herb and I had lunch once a week. We 
hung out a lot, barhopping everywhere, 
and he started dragging me to these par 
ties he always went to.” 

Soon a regular among the exotic cast 
of characters that inhabited Caen’s col- 
umn, Brown achieved a sexy cachet 
among San Franciscans for his pungent 

isecracks, his elegant ways and his 
eclectic nocturnal peregrinations, which 
ranged from the penthouse parties of 
Nob Hill to the low dives of the Barbary 
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couple never divorced, and they remain 
warm friends. According to Michael, 
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mayor is on good terms with all three of 
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When he made his second run for the 
assembly in 1964, Brown focused his 
campaign on his opposition to a pro- 
posed crosstown freeway, thus situating 
ely in the camp of environ- 
. Brown won going away, be- 
coming San Francisco's first black state 
legislator. 


Although he seemed untouchable as 
an assemblyman, there were growing in- 
dications when he became mayor that 
his vaunted mojo wasn't entirely bullet- 
proof. Brown still had a disturbing ten- 
dency to mouth off at the slightest prov- 
ocation, and he was suffering serious 
consequences. *I am my own worst ene- 
my." he was heard to say on more than 
one occasion, and even his most devoted 
followers agreed. 

One of the most damaging outbursts 
came after a tough 49ers loss in 1996, 
when Brown offhandedly described the 
team's backup quarterback, Elv 
as "an embarrassment to humankind." 
The mayor was on an official visit to Par- 
isat the time and had no way of knowing 
that Grbac's infant son had recently un- 
dergone a serious operation. But his ap- 
parent callousness generated a media 
barrage of anti-Brown vituperation. 

During the campaign for the football 
stadium, Brown suffered yet another 
public relations disaster when friends of 
the campaign manager for the pro-stadi- 
um forces, a loose-cannon political con- 
sultant named Jack Davis. threw him a 
bacchanalian birthday party so licentious 
in nature that it shocked even easygoing 
San Francisco. The main act of the eve- 
g involved a dominatrix who first uri- 
nated on a naked man and then sodom- 
ized him with a bottle of Jack Daniels 
Brown, as well as every other celebrity 
in attendance, claimed to have left the 
premises before the infamous penetra- 
tion occurred, but the media had a field 
day with the incident and it nearly cost 
the mayor the stadium vote. 
me, too, the mayor's extend- 
ed love affair with the San Francisco me- 
dia had gradually degenerated into an 
ugly trade of attack and insult. Brown 
began castigating reporters at his media 

ies” and throwing virulent an- 
Upress tantrums on a regular basis. “I'm 
Brown 
fumed. “When 1 am insulted, I insult 
back.” 


By midterm, Brown's poll numbers 
were beginning to reflect serious voter 
dissatisfaction. It was felt that his con- 
stant outbursts made the city look bad, 
and, despite the frenetic pace the may- 
or maintained, people were starting to 
question if anything of substance was 
getting done. Brown was finding that 
some of the more entrenched civie prob- 
lems were resistant to even his outsize 


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HOW 


Below is a list of retailers and 
manufacturers you can contact 
for information on where to 
find this month's merchandise. 
To buy the apparel and equip- 
ment shown on pages 32, 34, 
41, 90-93, 116-119, 124— 
125, 139 and 179, check the 
listings below to find Ihe stores 
nearest you. 


WIRED 

Page 32: “Talking Tech”: 
Home networking systems: 
Ву InnoMedia, 888-251-6250. By Share- 
Wave, www.sharewave.com. By ActionTec, 
800-797-7001. "Game of the Month”: Soft- 
ware by EA Sports, 800-245-4525. “Wild 
Things”: Multimedia speakers by Advent, 
Game controller by InterAct, both from In- 
terAct Accessories, Lake Mary, FL, 407- 
333-1392. 


TRAVEL 

Page 34: “Great Escape”: Manderston 
from Cultural Kingdoms, 011-44-143-468- 
2802 or www.cultural-kingdoms.com. 
“Road Stuff”; Travel organzier Бу Grun- 
dig, 800-872-2228. Travel mug coffeemak- 
er from Melilla North America, 888-635- 
4882. Guide from O'Reilly c Associates, 
800-998-9938. 


MANTRACK 

Page 41: "Mitsu's Mean Machine": Mit- 
subishi Motors, 800-233-6672. " Doggin’ 
17: Gold Coast Dogs in Chicago at: Union 
Station, 159 North Wabash Avenue, 418 
North State Street, 2 North Riverside Pla- 
zu and O'Hare International Airport. 


SUMMER SUITS 

Page 90: Swim trunks by Emilio Pucci, 
NYC, 212-752-8957. Bikini by Майа Mills, 
NYC, 800-685-3479. Hat by Eric Javits, at 
Saks Fifth Avenue, NYC, 212-753-4000. 
Page 91: Swim trunks by Ralph Lauren, 
800-494-7656. Her shirt by Jill Stuart, 
219-343-9300 Bikini bottom by 
Studio La Blanca, 800-BUY.SWIM. Pages 
92-93: Swim trunks Бу Joseph Abboud, at 
Bloomingdale's and Saks Fifth Avenue 
stores. Tankini by Versace Mare, 888-3- 


DADS & GRADS 

Pages 116-117: Dads: Stereo system by 
Nakamichi America, Torrance, CA, 310-538- 
8150. Model car by Fournier Enterprises, 
800-501-3722. Organizer by Filofax, 800- 
345-6798. Pencil set by Faber-Castell, 800- 


ro 


BUY 


243-8145, ext. 113. Digital 
camera by Minolta. 800- 
528-4767. Cocktail shak- 
er by Classic Shaker, 800- 
822-9015. Knife set from 
Bergdorf Goodman, 800-218- 
4918. Headphones by Senn- 
heiser Electronics, Old Lyme, 
CT, 860-434-9190. Portable 
telescope by Celestron, Tor- 
rance, CA, 310-328-9560. 
In-line skates by Rollerblade, 
800-328-0171. CD player 
by Panasonic, 800-211-7262. 
Candy by Vosges Haut, 888-301-9866. 
Pages 118-119: Grads: Blender by Totally 
Gross, 888-874-7677. Radio-controlled car 
by Porsche Cars North America, 800-767- 
7243. Electronic organizer by З Ст, 800- 
881-7256 (USA), 800-891-6342 (Canada). 
Portable audio device by Diamond Multi- 
media, 800-468-5846. Boom box by Jeep, 
from Telemania and Power Brands, 800- 
354-8785. Wireless headphones by Ad- 
vent, from Recoton, 800-742-3438. Swiss 
Army Knife by Wenger, 800-267-3577. 
Unicycle by Jugglebug, from Sport Time, 
800-444-5700, ext. 323. Computer by Ap- 
ple Computer, 800-538-9696. PC camera by 
Philips, 800-210-9605. Binoculars by Big 
Eyes, 800-860-6163. 


LAPTOP DANCING 

Pages 124-125: Notebook computers: 
“The Brawny and the Beautiful”: By Apple 
Computer, Inc., 800-538-9696. By IBM, 
800-496-7255. "Lean and Mean": By Gate- 
way, 800-846-2000. By Compag Computer, 
800-345-1518. "Honorable Mention": By 
Toshiba America, 800-999-4273, By Sony 
Electronics, 800-229-7669. Men's suits and 
shoes by Ermenegildo Zegna, 645 North 
Michigan Avenue, Chicago, IL 60611, 
312-587-9660. 


PLAYMATE OF THE YEAR 
Page 139: Fertility goddess jewelry by 
Robert Lee Morris, NYC, 212-431-9405. 


ONTHESCENE 

Page 179: "Way to Go": Car audio sys- 
tems: By Kenwood Electronics, 800-536- 
9663. By Clarion Sales, 800-462-5274. By 
Alpine Electronics, 800-257-4631. By Puna- 
sonic, 800-211-7262. By Fujitsu Ten, 800- 
233-2216. By Nakamichi America, Tor- 
тапсе, CA, 310-538-8150. By Sanyo. Chats- 
worth, CA, 818-998-7322, ext. 564. By 
ТҮС of America, 800-252-5722. By Pioneer 
Electronics, 800-746-6337. 


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skills as a fxer The citys large homeless 
contingent, attracted by San Francisco's 
liberal welfare policies, continued to clog 
the sidewalks and inhabit the parks, 
causing the mayor no end of headaches. 
When he tried to ignore the problem, 
he took heat from neighborhood groups 
and the business community, and when 
he cracked down with sweeps and ar- 
rests, h less advocates and civil liber- 
tarians jumped him. 

Brown had also promised to fix Mu 
the city's creaky public transportation 
system, but he hadn't taken into account 
the years of neglect that the system had 
suffered, nor the stubborn intransigence 
of the unions whose members drove and 
repaired the buses. The mayor put his 
chief of staff in charge and instituted a 
controversial program to use former 
gang members to provide security on 
the buses. But service continued to 
deteriorate. 

“The truth about Willie Brown 15 that 
he’s all glamour and no substance,” says 
former California state senator Quen- 
tin Kopp, a longtime Brown foe. “He sim- 
ply doesn’t have the discipline to attack 
the gritty issues such as Muni and the 
homeless.” 

What Brown direly needed at this 
point was for Herb Caen to step in and 
take the heat off. But Caen had died 
more than a year earlier, and the mayor 
was without his main champion. “Herb 
helped me so much by allowing me to be 
myself without having to compromise 
any facet of my personality,” Brown la- 
mented. “He interpreted my conduct as 
something other than arrogance and 
made me into a lovable figure so that 
people got vicarious joy out of my antics. 
I miss him a hell of a lot.” 

But the one area where the mayor was 
surprisingly successful in dodging criti- 
cism was in the matter of 
life. While Bill Clinton was 
for failing to curb his lust, Willie Brown, 
whose name was constantly linked with 
scores of attractive young women, man- 
aged to escape the slightest hint of sexu- 
al scandal. 

То Brown it's beside the point. “Why 
should there be a scandal? I've never 
done anything bad,” he says. “I have a 
good time, I'm a gentleman, I'm up- 
front, І treat women with the same re- 
spect I wish to get myself, and I'm harm- 
less. I'm not a phony. I don't make it 
appear as if I’m sanctified. Plus, I dont 
think anyone I have ever dated would 
consider herself to be an ex-girlfriend. 
They are all still good friends of Willie 
Brown's—no longer dating companions, 
no longer lovers, but still good friends 
And the reason is that my re 
have always started out as 
never as a hustle. No one ever leaves 
with a bad taste because there has nev- 
er been a promise of permanence or 
exclusivity.” 

All of this is no doubt true, but there is 


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also Willie Brown's well-known largesse 
to his former flames. He found plush 
public jobs for two of his inamoratas, 
and he's famous for his lavish parting 
gifts. “He big-times the women when he 
leaves, so they tend to keep quiet,” says a 
journalist who covers San Francisco's so- 
cial scene and is a longume Willie watch- 
er "He bought one girlfriend one of 
those hot Darth Vader-rigged black 
Jeeps, and another a geranium pink Ar- 
mani gown to wear at an opera opening. 
And the word is that he gives out Cartier 
Panthere watches, at $9000 a crack, to 
the lucky ones." 


"The big question that hovers over Wil- 
lie Brown is his future. True, his poll 
numbers have sagged. In February, poll 
results published in the San Francisco 
Chronicle said that only 32 percent of San 
Francisco voters would be inclined to 
vote for him in his bid for reelection. The 
New York Times reported, “San Francis- 
cans are obviously upset They are upset 
with Mr. Brown's seeming inability to 
make the buses and trains run on time 
or to get the homeless off the streets. 
And they are upset at downtown traffic 
jams, at a lack of public parking, at litter, 
mediocre schools and the mayor's ‘arro- 
gance.' In short, they are upset at a lot of 
things.” 

In San Francisco, however, it’s always 
best to expect the unexpected. Many of 
Brown's potential opponents in the No- 
vember election have even lower poll 
numbers. Nor does Brown have many 
options—he watched the late Tom Brad- 
ley try unsuccessfully to move from may- 
or of Los Angeles to governor of Califor- 
nia twice, which led Brown and others to 
believe that an African American candi- 
date has an uphill baule at best. 

At the moment, Willie is all but an 
announced candidate—having secured 
early endorsements from several power- 
ful unions. He has also announced his 
plans to conduct gay weddings on the 
city hall steps, for instance, and makes 
daily proclamations on new ways to im- 
prove the transportation system. “І don't 
think democracy is well served with me 
having an opponent," says a typically 
brazen Brown. 

“As І always tell my staff, “І am a bun- 
dle of contradictions, so don't ever try to 
explain me or predict what I'll do,” says 
Brown. “І have a theory that if you focus 
on going for something too distant from 
where you are, you'll never achieve it. So 
just perform at your zenith and all roads 
will be open to you. Whatever I do, I 
always believe І am going to succeed, 
and if I don't, well, it wasn't meant to 
happen. My feeling is that you cannot 
unwrite history, so don't even bother 


to try.” 


Deborah Harr 

АП, from page 122) 
youthful enthusiasm in Ше way they in- 
sult each other. They even look pretty 
much the same. Especially Clem, who 
still looks like the teen drummer. Jimmy 
says, "Well, I have a little McCartney 
neck now and Chris has become the Jer- 
ry Garcia of the Lower East Side, with 
his gray hair. But our chops were never 
better." 

Today, in her early 50s, Debbie is still a 
supervixen, a head rurner Her body has 
changed significantly since these pre- 
Blondie photos were taken. Deb hadn't 
stopped growing in her art model days, 
because today her cup runneth over, 
while back then she was pectorally pert. 
Devoted fans will recall her rolling 
around the Поог topless in David Cro- 
nenberg's 1983 film, Videodrome. She was 
a woman of substance even then. Debbie 
is a bigger woman today. She has mus- 
cles—a development that can be traced 
back to her involvement in wrestling. 
For many years Debbie and Chris were 
pro-wrestling nuts. In the Eighties Deb- 
bie got a chance to star in a Broadway 
show about female wrestling, Teaneck 
Tanzi, co-starring with Andy Kaufman. 
She became a gym rat and learned how 
to kick ass. Today she doesn't really need 
a bodyguard. 


Debbie's athleticism is evident in the 
current Blondie stage show, She never 
was one just to stand at the mike and 
sing, but today Debbie is a more full-tilt 
performer than ever before. She stalks 
the stage, incites the audience, shakes 
her mane and pumps her fist in the air. 
Singing is an art, even in rock and roll, 
and Debbie is a much better singer today 
than the very good singer she was in the 
Eighties. That may have something to do 
with the fact that for the last few years 
she has worked as a vocalist with a for- 
ward and funky New York jazz band, the 
Jazz Passengers. Today her voice is a 
virtuoso instrument, more precise and 
powerful than ever. Ironically she's also 
more of a punk rocker today than ev- 
er before. 

After everything Deborah Harry has 
been through, she can afford to let her 
attitude hang out a little bit, and she 
does. She's been there, done that, so 
she's eager to keep improvising music 
. She's still icy cool at times, still 
ingly sultry at others. But when 
the tempo turns up, when she heats up, 
there's a blonde dervish up there front- 
ing a band that's just as powerful, edgy 
and eccentric as it was—shit, can it really 
be 17 years ago? 


"We only had one date. He liked indie films, Thai food, 
Cole Porter songs and my brother." 


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SAMUEL L. JACKSON 


(continued from page 68) 
stopped sleeping in my bed. I was sleep- 
ing downstairs so I wouldn't have to 
bother. І was just this phantom guy 
ing through 
PLAYBOY: You've been with LaTanya for 
29 years, and married for 19 of them. 
Though she has made some big films, 
you're more often away on sets. Is she 
resentful? 

JACKSON: No. Interestingly enough, she 
is in a pretty good place, personally and 
professionally. She works only when she 
wants to work. She doesn't have to work, 
so she'll go to things that interest her. 
She's not part of the rat race in the way 
she used to be, when she had to go to 
every cattle call and hope to get a job 
PLAYBOY: What was it like working to- 
gether on Losing Isaiah? 

JACKSON: Because she has been acting on 
the stage since she was a kid, she is a lot 
more knowledgeable than 1 ат. All of a 
sudden we were in a situation where I 
could be helpful to her. Telling her to 
keep it simple because she'd have to re- 
peat the same thing over and over again. 
How to hit a mark, find her light and 
help the cameraman. It was enlighten- 
ing for her to see that 1 had learned so 
much and was so comfortable doing it 
and that I could help her find a comfort 
zone. The only insistence I had was that 
we have separate dressing rooms and 
bathrooms. 1 hat way, Га always be on 
time. I wouldn't be if I had to share a 
bathroom with her. 

PLAYBOY: The two of you played oppos- 
ing attorneys. In real life, who wins the 
arguments? 

JACKSON: She does, because I refuse to 
argue. You can't argue with someone 
who doesn't argue back. I just say OK, 
nod my head, turn the television down 
and keep watching it. As long as she 
doesn't change my channel, I’m fine. 
PLAYBOY: How did growing up without a 
father affect your relationship with your 
daughter, Zoe? 

JACKSON: 1 definitely believe that Zoe 
deserves two parents. Sometimes when 
you have those husband-wife things, 
you look at your kid and think maybe it 
would be easier to walk away and leave 
her with a single parent, or take the 
child yourself. But she needs to see a 
family dynamic, to see that people can 
fight and overcome it and sull love each 
other and love her. It’s part of her devel- 
opment as well as ours. We both grew up 
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LaTanya grew up with her grandpar- 
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PLAYBOY What if your daughter decides 
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actor? 

JACKSON: I think that she wants to be a 


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that stuff. She comes to the set a lot with 
me. She hangs around directors and 
watches. She's a harsh critic. On Fridays 
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opening, апа she'll come home and talk 
to me about the direction and the cine- 
matography, the acting and all this other 
stuff. Last year when we went to a mini 
film festival and she was sitting there 
watching all these bad films, she said, 
"Dad, I could do better than that." And 
now she's talking about going to film 
school. І think it would be fabulous. 
PLAYBOY: We know you're a serious golf- 
er. What's the appeal? 

JACKSON: Four and a half years ago some 
friends took me out and forced me to 
play. They beat me pretty soundly and I 
said, "Wait a minute, these guys aren't 
athletes. They can't beat me playing 
anything else. I've got to get this game 
down." It's a great game, though. It’s 
you, the golf course and this ball. It’s 
not like the moving ball games I always 
played— baseball, softball, basketball. 
This ball is lying still on the ground. It's 
the hardest thing in the world to do. I 
can go out there some days and play like 
I'm on tour. Then the next day it's like 
Tve never seen golf clubs before. 
PLAYBOY: Apparently you now have time 
to make it to the golf course, and greens 
fees are written into your contracts. 
When did you start that? 

JACKSON: When I realized that I could 
[laughs]. The first time I went on loca- 
tion, after I'd started to play golf, I real- 
ized I was going to work and I might not 
be able to play. I didn’t belong to a spe- 
абс club, so I said to my manager, "I'm 
taking my golf clubs. Га like to play 
golf.” And they worked that out. I be- 
long to a country club, but I don't treat 
golf as the elitist game I used to think it 
was back when I was a kid, I usually go 
to public golf courses to play. In my 
neighborhood there are four. I've been 
thrown in with 80-year-old women, 70- 
year-old guys, kids. It's an incredibly 
friendly game. You're out there and 
you're walking with these people. You 
spend four hours with them. You ei- 
ther end up hating some people or you 
spend some interesting time with them. 
You can find out a lot about people 
four hours. And half the time they don't 
even know who the fuck I am 

PLAYBOY: Do you enjoy that when it 
happens? 

JACKSON: Yeah. [Laughs] Sometim s ИІ 
take a while and then they'll go, 

that actor guy, aren't yo 
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Christina Applegate 

(continued from page 95) 
things men have asked women to wear? 
APPLEGATE: Tight red dresses. I have nev- 
er understood it. Red is the most unflat- 
tering color. Men like tight red dresses. 
Heels are the biggest sin in the world. Af- 
ter a while we're crippled. We wear those 
things just so we seem taller and our legs 
look longer. I had to do it for 11 years, 
but I was getting paid good money. Wom- 
en in another profession get paid good 
money to do that, but I don't need to 
mention them right now. Miniskirts and 
hip huggers are horrible. Nobody looks 
good in hip huggers. I have a waist for a 
rcason—that's where my pants аге sup- 
posed to start. 


9 


PLAYBOY: Your boyfriend, Johnathon 
Schaech, starred in That Thing You Do. 
When he says "that thing you do," to 
he referring? 

: That's a sex question, isn't it? 
I think he's referring 10 the drool com- 
ing from my mouth in the morning. Mak- 
ing up silly songs about anything. That's 
another thing I do. We wrote a litle 
song that we sing sometimes about my 
eczema. It goes: Eczema, my little 
ie's got eczema.” It's like a blues song. 


10 


PLAYBOv: It шим be tough to shake the 
Kelly Bundy image. What's the key to 
being taken seriously in Hollywood? 
APPLEGATE: It’s not something that I've 
ever had to fight for. 1 don't know what 
happens behind closed doors, but I nev- 
er had to convince anyone. I'm different 
from the people who are their charac- 
ters. They're limited because when they 
go out in public, they carry that image 
with them. Some people just are Kelly 
Bundy, and they car't help it. 


1 


pLavsov: What is Kelly Bundy doing 
now? We see a limited number of career 
options—perhaps real estate or financial 
services. 

APPLEGATE: Kelly's still living at home. 
There is no evolution, only regression. 
She's probably watching television as we 
speak. The future will always be bright 
because everything's new and shiny to 
her. She doesn't ponder the ways of the 
world, you know. She's just like, “Ooh, 
that's a pretty pen." 


12 


PLAYBOY: Is spinning good exercise? 

APPLEGATE: It's real hard-core exercise. A 
lot of people can't do it, and I'm proud 
to say I can. It's like a stationary Tour de 
France, and it's music driven. You have 
ice levels that imitate what it's like 
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174 


and it’s a sprint, so you take off all your 
resistance and pedal really fast. Every- 
one is focused and intense, and you burn 
more calories doing that than pretty 
much any other exercise. I do it for 45 
utes. It's a real cliquey kind of thing. 
Spinners share a camaraderie, a sense 
that we all go through it together. 


13 


PLAYBOY: You have the most luminescent 
skin on television. Which skin-care prod- 
ucts would you put your name on? 
APPLEGATE: Sea Breeze, definitely. That's 
the stuff that works for me. I was go- 
ing to say something really disgusting, 
There's a certain fluid that's been known 
to get rid of acne, and it's the first thing 
that came to my mind, if you want to 
know the truth. І know а guy who says 
that when he was a kid he had really bad 
acne and at night, after he finished do- 
ing “that thing you do,” he would, in- 
stead of wiping it off, put it on his face. It 
dried up his acne. 


14 


PLAYBOY: When was the last time you 
saw a scene with nudity that made sense 


in a movie? 

APPLEGATE: The end of Boogie Nights is the 
only one I've ever seen that made sense. 
Тһе payoff was Mark Wahlberg standing 
there with his schlong. To me, nudity 


млувоў: When actors do a nude scene 
for the wrong reasons, who looks more 
ridiculous—the man or the woman? 
APPLEGATE: The man. If he's nude, oh, he 
definitely looks more ridiculous. І love 
the male body, but, you know, it definite- 
ly looks sillier. 


16 


pıavsov: Play Mr. Blackwell for a mo- 
ment. Who needs а makeover? 

AYPLEGATE: Anna Nicole Smith, definitely. 
She's a buxom blonde, and there's a way 
то be one that isn't, you know, frighten- 
ing. Some colors you just don't wear— 
like bright turquoise: But І think she 
looks amazing right now. 


17 


pLaveoy: How high is your monthly cel- 
lular phone bill? 


“Whatever the chemical imbalance may be that 
causes your excessive happiness, I am putting you on a medication 
to restore normal anxiety.” 


APPLEGATE: Pretty high. I have no idea of 
the exact amount, but I know it's high 
because I get on the phone just to get 
through traffic. I'm pretty much on the 
phone the whole time I'm in the car, 
which is not good. It's not like I call New 
York or anything, though I have called 
Hawaii. But I don't think my bill would 
shock anyone. I think it’s normal 


18 


rLAYBOY: How do you signal your sexual 
readiness? 

APPLEGATE: The signal is like, yeah, how 
inappropriate is it at that moment. 
What's the most bizarre place you can do 
it? How about in a church, which I have 
never done and probably won't ever, but 
І think that would be the most bizarre 
place to do it. A Catholic church, prefer- 
ably in Rome 


19 


rLAYBOY: There's a waste of ime and a 
total waste of time. Which do you still 
permit yourself? 

APPLEGATE: Bikini waxing is a total waste 
of time. It hurts. Why do it? Just a waste 
of time would be grocery shopping. 
don't do that anymore, either. When I 
had a lovely assistant, she used to do it. 
Laundry is a total waste of time. I refuse 
to have anyone else do my laundry, and 
I will stay at home for seven hours to do 
It's horrible and everyone knows thar 
s laundry day, they have to come 
over and take care of me. It's the most 
miserable day of my life, and it's coming 
up on Sunday. I have a laundry chute, 
and the problem is that the laundry is 
hidden, so you don't know what's hap- 
pening. I had a two-story laundry day 
two weeks ago. Six loads. Each load took 
an hour and a half to dry because it was 
so huge. I was at home all day. 


20 


м дувоу: Let's say you have a daughter, 
and she sees Married With Children. Do 
you have a speech prepared? 
APPLEGATE: They made me do it. They 
put a gun to my head. This is what bad 
taste is all about, sweetheart. That would 
be how not to dress. It's all about the 
clothes. It always comes back to that for 
me. Halloween every day. 

Read, read, read, darling. You must 
always read. Keep learning, I don't even 
remember that show, it was so long ago. 
175 hard to even go back there. Not that 
it was a bad thing, but I don't even re- 
member. It was years ago and I don't re- 
call anything about it, really. 1 have one 
of those memories—1 think it was аНесі- 
ed by too much Equal or something. I 
just don't remember a thing about that 
time in my life. 


u T / 7 
р jv AY 


|5 ANGELES GLAMOURCON 


You never know who you are go- 
ing to see at Glamourcon—Pandora 
Peaks and her famous breasts, men 
dressed in drag, women with wrap- 


Right: Miss April 
1989 Jennifer Jack- 
son, not ta Бе сап. 
fused with PLAYBOY's 
other Jennifer Jock- 
son, Miss March 
1965. Below: Koren 
Foster (Miss Octo- 
ber 1989) joined mare thon 50 Playmates far 
the Los Angeles Glomcurcon. 


around Bettie Page tat- 
toos, people standing in 
line for hours to meet 
Hugh Hefner. Glam- 
ourcon is, in a word, 
pandemonium. But it's 
chaos with a view, the 
4 kind that keeps fans 

f coming back again and 
again. Of course, Glam- 

ourcon is also about 

meeting and chatting 

with the Playmates. And 

guess what? They enjoy 

hanging out with you as much as you 
enjoy seeing them in the flesh. Take 
it from Glamourcon attendee Carol 
Vitale (Miss July 1974): "Sure, І could 


PLAYMATE BIRTHDAYS 
June 3: Miss March 1976 
Ann Pennington 
June 9: Miss December 1959 
(and PMOY 1960) Ellen Stratton 


June 21: Miss February 1988 
Kari Kennell 


June 25: Miss March 1960 
Sally Sarell 

June 30: Miss May 1990 
Tina Bockrath 


have stayed in Miami and continued 
my daily routine of having fun in the 
sun. But I do love meeting the fans. 
There's so much appreciation 一 ! 
didn't want to miss it. I wish I could 
make it to every Glamourcon.” Miss 


Hef and a graup of Playmates 
gathered at the Mansion (lefi) ta 
watch the movie 20 Dates, fea- 
turing PMOY 1996 Stacy San- 
ches ond Miss February 1986 
Julie McCullough. Belaw: An- 
gela Little, Hef, Penny Baker 
ond Sharon Johansen reminisce. 


February 1998 
Julia Schultz agreed: "I'm һау- 


ing a great time. I'm selling a lot of 


stuff, the fans are nice and it’s cool 
hanging out with the other Play- 
mates,” On Saturday night, the Cen- 
terfolds traveled to the Holmby Hills 


30 YEARS AGO THIS MONTH 


Our Bunnies 
are back, thanks 
to the Playboy Ca- 
sino at Hotel des 
Roses on the isle 
of Rhodes. Per- 
haps that is why 
we're feeling nos- 
talgic for the Bun- 
ny turned Play- 
mate who made 
the June 1969 is- 
sue of PLAYBOY a 
keeper. That issue 
is memorable for 
fiction by Ray 
Bradbury, a guide 
to mutual funds by investment 
writer Michael Laurence and 
instructions on making perfect 
paella and sangria. But the is- 
sue's unforgettable elixir was 
New Jersey's Helena Antonaccio. 
After inexplicably failing to land 
a job modeling wigs, Helena 
found herself in front of the 
Playboy Club. She inquired 
about a job and, of course, we 
hired her on the spot. 


Helena 
Antonaccia 


Mansion to spend time with Hef “He 
gave me the nicest, juiciest kiss,” Car- 
ol reports. “It made my day.” 


The hipster elite love lo rub 
shoulders with the Playmates 
Can you blame them? 
Clockwise fram top left: Miss 
June 1986 Rebecca Ferrotti 
with Jomes Caan; Miss Jan- 
vory 1999 Joime Bergman 
with Ben Stiller; Miss June 
1967 Joey Gibson with 
Richard Grieco; Miss May 
1990 Tina Backrath with 
Jane Seymour. 


175 


My two all-time favorite Play- 
mates are Miss October 1987 
Brandi Brandt (right) and Miss 
August 1986 Ava Fabian, 
because I'm friends 
with both of them. 

They're beautiful 

women, and very 

nice. I met Brandi 

when she was 12 

years old and I was 

studying with the 

Groundlings. A girl 

in my class, Hillary 

Matthews, was in an 

all-girl rock band called Ameri- 

can Girls, and the band's drum- 

mer was Bree Howard, Bran- 

di's mother. I saw Brandi again 

in Malibu about 15 years later. 
As for Ava, I've had a crush 

on that babe for years. 


Besides singing rhythm and blues 

at nightclubs in Los Angcles, Martha 
Smith has joined former 
Latin dancer David 
Martinez and Donny 
Burns (from Shall We 
Dance?) in producing 
dance competitions. 
“We plan to turn cou- 
ples dancing on its 
back," Martha says. 
"We want to show the 
steamier side of Latin 
and swing dancing, 
with cool music, hot 
VORHER, gorgeous young cou- 
ples. Our working title is This Is Not 
Your Mother's Ballroom." 


When the editors of Modern Ferret 
magazine heard about 
Playmate Tif- 
fany Taylor'sin- 
fatuation with 
the furry guys 
(she has seven 
"babies" at home). 
they jumped at 
the chance to 
showcase Miss 
November 1998 

176 and her pets in 


E NEWS 


their publication. Tiffany appears on 
the magazine's May/June cover, but 
it's the ferrets who grace the center 
pictorial. "We're pleased to feature 
such famous ferrets," says editor 
Mary Shefferman. Tiffany, who sub- 
scribes to Modern Ferret, was so excited 
about the shoot that she's thinking of 
adding another ferret to her crew. “If 
my boyfriend agrees, I'm going to get 
an angora one,” she says. “But at this 


point, he's like, “No more babies!" 
For information, check out modern 
ferret.com. 


We recently telephoned Rebekka 
Armstrong, Miss September 1986, for 
an intimate chat. 

Q: You're HIV-positive. What is it like 
living with the virus? 

A: Life is really good right now. I'm 
maintaining and controlling my vi- 
rus. The side effects from the medica- 
tion are terrible, 
but I'm getting 
uscd to them. 
I'm being treat- 
ed with an AIDS 
cocktail. 

Q: Do people 
treat you differ- 
ently hecaise of 
your disease? 

A: Fortunately, 
no. I feared the 
worst when I went public, but I've 
been pleasantly surprised by the sup- 
port I've received. I have one friend 
who wouldn't talk to me at first be- 
cause he was scared. But that was 11 
years ago. Other than that, I haven't 
had any problems. Not even with 
dating. 

Q: Have you participated in any 
AIDS awareness events lately? 

A: Last November I was in New York 
City helping Positive Health Project 
put on a kinky costume ball to raise 
moncy for AIDS. I got to dress up 
in a black latex dress. Now I live in 
New York, so get to meet wonderful 
AIDS activists all the time. І used to 
live in a smaller city where AIDS ac- 
та wasn't so prevalent. 

Q: What's the one thing you never 
leave home without? 

A: Condoms, of course. Positive 
Health Project donated flavored con- 
doms for me to hand out at Glamour- 
con. They're a good thing to have 
with you, just in case. 

О: Is it true that there is going to bea 
documentary about your life? 

A: Yes. Гт so excited. Antonia Bird, 
who directed Priest, has agreed to di- 
rect it. І can't wait to share my story 
with the world. 


PLAYMATE GOSSIP 


Daphnee Duplaix deserves a 
break today—and she got one. 
She just landed a speaking part 
in a national McDonald's com- 
mercial. ... As you know, 

PMOY 1982 Shannon 
@ Tweed lives with Kiss 

bassist Gene Simmons. 

f But at the Los Angeles 
З“ Glamourcon in Febru- 

— агу, her charms were di- 
rected at Hef. . . . Alice Denham, 
who proved her writing talent 
when she penned The Deal in the 
July 1956 is- 
sue of PLAYBOY, 
has authored 
an autobio- 
graphical 
book, Shab- 
by Genteel: A 
Southern 
Girlhood. . - . 
Photogra- 
pher Anne Shannon & Pet 
cently shot the cover of Venice 
magazine, which features Quin- 
су Jones. ... Kimber West сап 
be seen іп the forthcoming film 
Mystery Men. The cast includes 
William H. Macy, Ben Stiller, 
Geoffrey Rush and Claire Forla- 
пі... . Rhonda Adams didn't 
have to leave her native Florida 
to appear in the new Oliver 
Stone movie, On Any Given Sun- 
day. .. . Golf aficionado Lisa Der- 
gan is profiled in the premiere is- 
sue of Schuing!, a golf magazine 
for kids. The pictorial also fea- 
tures MTV's Carson Daly and 
Primus. . .. If you want to cele- 
brate the mil- 
lennium with 
Victoria Silv- 
stedt, you're 
in luck: She 
plans to ap- 
pear in her 
own calendar 
for the year 
2000. ... It 
was only a 
matter of 
time before 
PMOY 1990 
Renee Teni- 
son and her 

€: sister Rosie 
Toni Ann Thomos became Dou- 
blemint twins. Look for them in 
a national Wrigley's Doublemint 
Gum commercial. .. . What's new 
with Toni (Ann Thomas) Peck? 
She lives in California and owns 
Т. Peck and Co., a business that 
specializes in commercial design 
for the hospitality industry. 


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and rolled, to enhance any setting. Wherever it is smoked. 


Playboy by Don Diego Cigars. N 


Label and Band © Playboy 1998. PLAYBOY, RABBIT HEAD OESIGN, НМН and HUGH М. HEFNER are trademarks of Playboy Enterprises, Inc. and used with permission. 


PLAYBOY 


ON-THE 


aving a CD changer in the trunk used to earn a guy brag- 

ging rights. Now you need a theater оп wheels. Vehicles 

tricked out with surround sound and liquid-crystal dis- 

plays for watching movies and playing video games аге 
опе of the biggest new trends—and not just with the minivan set. 
Because car theaters often do double duty as vehicle navigation 
systems, they're particularly appealing to hard-core commuters 
and road trippers. Most involve elaborate custom installations (with 
monitors built into seat backs or suspended from the ceiling for 
passenger viewing) and cost upwards of $4000. But Kenwood of- 
fers a simpler, more affordable schematic: Its P907 is a $2000 in- 
dash unit that combines an 
adjustable touch-screen 
TV with a CD player. An 


Above: To encourage safer 
driving, the electrolumines- 
cent display on Pioneer's lat- 
est CD receivers presents 30 
images and is visible at any 
angle and in any lighting 
(about $700 to start). Below: 
JVC has put a unique security 
spin on its new ElKameleon 
CD receivers. When your car 
is turned off, the controls 
retract into Ihe unit and Ihe 
display goes black, creating 
what appears to be a blank 
panel (5330 to 5380). 


一 一 一 一 一 一 一 一 一 一 一 


antenna on the P907 pulls in 
VHF and UHF channels, and 
à pair of audio-video inputs 
let you hook up video sourc- 
es such as a VCR or a DVD 
player. Fortunately for the 
rest of us on the road, you 
can't watch Ronin or Jerry 
Springer while driving to the 
office. Circuitry in the system. 
prevents the monitor from functioning when the car is in motion 
The same holds true for Clarion's VRX740Z, a $1700 receiver with 
a pop-up touch-screen monitor and controls for CD and minidisc 
changers. But instead of just going blank when you're driving, both 
monitors provide touch control of the audio gear. Two other no- 
table car theater products: Alpine's DVA-52000 ($1200) and Pana 
sonic's CX-DV-1500 ($1400), DVD players desipned for easy-to 
reach dash installation. Another Clarion product, the AutoPC, is 


WAY TO GO 


Pioneer's voice-controlled AVIC-505 navigation system keeps you on course 
with a global positioning satellite receiver, nationwide CD-ROM mapping 
software and a 5.6" color monitor that not only adjusts for the ideal viewing, 
angle but also retracts when the system is not in use (about $2350). 


EG ENE 


an in-dash Windows CE 
computer and CD play- i < 
er that also spins CD- 2 ECLIPSE 

ROMs. Voice recogni- = ES 
tion built into the $1300 
AutoPC lets you tell the 
system to change CD 
tracks or crank up the 
volume. With hardware 
upgrades, you can also 
use voice commands to 
access e-mail and schedules, track the stock market and get direc- 
tions via global positioning satellite technology. For something less 
elaborate but equally impressive, check out the Eclipse Comman- 
der 9002 ($400), a voice-ac- 
tivated stereo and navigation 
system that works in con- 
junction with three Eclipse 
CD tuners (including the 
5506 pictured here, $900). 
If you would prefer to kill 
commute time with lunes 


The Eclipse 5506 compact disc receiver 
also plays CD-ROM software and con- 
nects to the company's Commander 
9002 to provide voice-activated naviga- 
tion functions and audio controls (5900). 


» = ыкы 
9 «minm 一 
ся гі 


лаа 


Above: Clarion's AutoPC is а 
CD player and Windows CE 
computer with electronic or- 
ganizer and e-mail capabili- 
ties (61300). Below: Nakami- 
chi eliminates CD-changer 
hassles with its MB-100, a 
disc model that fits in most 
dashboards (about $1000). 


and talk radio, try Nakami- 
chi's MusicBank MB-100 
($1000), the first in-dash CD 
changer and tuner to accom- 
modate six compact discs 
Still clinging to your custom 
cassette collection but want 
in-dash CD capability too? 
Sanyo's EXCD-1000 (5400) 
features a faceplate that 
folds down to reveal slots for a cassette and a CD. And if security is 
a priority, [VC's ElKameleon KD-LX1 ($329) and KD-LX3 ($379) 
CD receivers have controls along the bottom that retract into the 
unit when the ignition is 
switched off, and a liquid 
crystal display that blacks 
out for a convincing camou- 
Паре job. —pouc махсомв 


179 


Sweater 
Power, 
1999 

PAM GRIER's 
solid comeback 
translates into 
four movie proj- 
ects this year: 
Jawbreaker, 
Fortress 2, Holy 
Smoke and In 
Too Deep. Turn- 
ing 50 and turn- 
ing heads, Pam 
has what it has 
always taken. 


Holly 
Sparkles 
Plenty 
HOLLY 
HUNTER lit 
up the room 
in this dress. 
She'll be 
lighting up 
the screen 

in two new 
films, Jesus” 
Son with Bil- 
ly Crudup, 
and Wom- 
an Wanted, 
directed 

by Kiefer 
Sutherland. 


A Method 
to His 
Madness 


Wu-Tang Clansman 
METHOD MAN can 
be seen in Black and 
White with an 
all-star cast (includ- 
ing Robert Downey 
Jr. and Mike Tyson) 
and heard on the 
Clan's anthology, 
Wu-Chronicles. He 
says he respects the 
underdog because 
"he's always got 
something to fight 
for." It takes one to 
know one. 


Rockin’ 
Robin 


Тһе 1999 winner of 
Hawaii's Golden Girl 
Pageant, ROBIN ВАҮ- 
LOSIS will compete in 
Malaysia with 50 in- 
ternational winners. 
She's already a 
shoo-in with us. 


Bringing Up the Rear 
DORENE GUERRAZZI (Ashley Anderson on Playboy TV) has ap- 


peared on Silk Stalkings, Renegade, videos and calendars. Here 
she proves that nothing is sexier than the naked truth. 


Look at Brooks 

CARLA BROOKS’ résumé in- 
«аде» TV cummercials for 
Sprite and Harley-Davidson, a 
slew of swimsuit calendars 
plus a swimsuit video. Surfs 
up for Carla. 


Ву the 
Grace 
of Grace 
DEBRA MESSING, 
a.k.a. Grace on 
Will and Grace, 
so played Dr. Par- 
ker on Prey. She 
was in the infa- 
mous “Yada, ya- 
da” episode of 
Seinfeld and is 
a knockout in 
this little 
black dress. 


POTPOURRI 


A REAL KICKER 


Until now, Kick Start, a bloody mary mix 
based on а biker recipe, was available on- 
ly at motorcycle shops, swap meets and 
biker-friendly saloons. Now you can kick 
back with your own supply, available for 
55 a boule or $48 a сазс from S.P. 

Grip Products at 888-953-Grır. (Prices 
don't include shipping.) Fueling sugges- 
tions for regular, midgrade and high- 
octane drinks are on the label. 


THE NAUGHTY LADY OF CUSTOM EROTICA 


“Custom erotica allows the reader to get exactly what he or she de- 
/ivant, an enterprising author who makes her living 
tasies into personal fiction that's medium hot or 
triple X. But unlike computer-generated naughty novels, the steamy 
works from Sage are written from scratch. Her biggest request: guys 
with lots of women. Hmm. The 15-page finished product, bound bc- 
tween heavy barklike covers, costs $225, Check her website at custom 

€roticasource.com or call 415-854 0787 for more information. 


ROCK AND ROLLING 


Everything from Wilson Picketrs Mustang 
Sally vo The Ballad of Thunder Road i 
cluded in Rhino Records’ Hot Rods & C 
tom Classics, a four-CD set of 87 “cruisin 
songs and highway hits." Accor 
Rhino, many of the numbers featured are 
out of print —and there's even a James 


SKIP DOCTOR'S ORDERS 


Digital Innovations claims its Skip Doctor is the world's first compact 
disc repair device capable of eliminating skips and distortions caused by 
abrasions and scratches. According to the service manual, this gizmo is 
the cure for abused CD-ROMs, DV Ds, PlayStation discs and recordable 
CDs. Sounds good to us. Place your damaged disc in the Skip Doctor, 
spray the disc with a special resurfacing fluid, close the unit and turn 
the crank. Pop out the disc, dry and bull it with a special doth, and 
play. The price: $35, from 888-5млкт-Э8. Sorry, the Skip Doctor won't 

182 fix deep gouges or warped CDs. 


BOND WITH JAMES 


It's estimated that over a 
quarter of the world's popu- 
lation has seen a James Bond 
film. For aficionados or 007 
rookies, Lee Pfeiffer and 
Dave Worrall have co-au- 
thored The Essential Bond, an 
“authorized guide to the 
world of 007." Besides pro- 
viding inside information and 
rare photos on the 18 Bond 
films made by Fon Produc- 
tions, this $45 autographed 
hardcover also touches on 
the unofficial Bond films and 
the 007 phenomenon. Call 
732-752-7257 to order. 


COME DRAGANFLY WITH ME 


Draganfly Innovations’ remote-control flying saucer is the ulti- 
mate indoor toy For $297, you geta rugged 38-inch nylon space- 
ship that's propelled by a three-motor fan unit. A two-stick hand- 
held radio transmitter allows the saucer to Пу up, down, left and 
right and to rotate. There's also a space for an optional micro- 
video camera that can take aerial shors. Call 800-979-9794 to 
order. Other sizes are available. 


BIG LFAGUE TAROT 


With 78 colorful, oversize 
cards and a 324-page book to 
interpret them, Workman 
Publishing's Baseball tarot set 
is based on the assumption 
that baseball is a metaphor 
forl Translate baseball ac- 
tion, such as a home run, into 
tarot wisdom and you'll find 
solutions to everyday situa- 
tions. To do so, you pose a 
question, lay out the cards 
and interpret their meaning 
from information in the 
book. As noted psychic Yogi 
Berra put it,"It ain't over ШІ 
it's over." The price: 590, at 
bookstores nationwide. 


21ST CENTURY CADDY 


“The convenience and ease of a cart with the 
joy of walking” is how Sun Mountain describes 
the Dynamis, its remote-control golf cart, which 
has a range of up to 100 yards. While there are 
other remote-control carts on the market, the 
Dynamis claims to have the longest battery life 
between charges (33 hours). It also folds for 
easy storage in the trunk of your car and is so 
quiet even Tiger Woods wouldn't complain. 
Price: about $1000. Call 800-816-9308. 


YOU TAKE IT, JEEVES 


Zenith's Easy Hang Up is the buder you've al- 
ways wanted. When you receive a telemarket- 
ing phone call you don't want, just push a but- 
ton on Fasy Hang Up and replace the receiver. 
The caller hears a short, polite recorded mes- 
sage that says phone calls of this type are not 
accepted and please don't call back. This re- 
quest also puts you on a do-not-call list for 

one year. Price: $13, available at Kmart, True 
Value and other stores. 


NEXT MONTH 


SUMMER STORY 


SHANNON ELIZABETH 一 SHE STEAMS UP THE SCREEN AS 
AMERICAN PIE'S SELF-PLEASURING FOREIGN EXCHANGE 
STUDENT. A HOT PICTORIAL FOR SUMMER 


BARNEY FRANK THE OUTSPOKEN DEMOCRATIC CON 
GRESSMAN IS A POLITICAL FIREBRAND AND STAUNCH 
ADVOCATE OF MEDICAL MARIJUANA AND GAY RIGHTS. 
PLAYBOY INTERVIEW BY DAVID SHEFF 


HERBAL REMEDIES —DOCS ARE OUT. NATURAL FIXES ARE 
IN. EVEN PHARMACIES STOCK STUFF TO FIX YOUR MOOD. 
YOUR PAIN, YOUR SEX LIFE, YOUR HAIR. BUT DOES ANY OF 
IT WORK? IS IT SAFE? ARTICLE BY CARL SHERMAN 


MICHAEL MOORE— THE COUNTRY’S MOST IRKED CITIZEN 
TALKS ABOUT HIS NEW SHOW (THE AWFUL TRUTH), HOFFA, 
HILLARY AND WHY HE LOVES SECURITY GUARDS. 20 QUES- 
TIONS BY WARREN KALBACKER 


DAY TRADERS 一 BROKERS? WHO NEEDS THEM? STOCK 
MARKET HOTSHOTS ARE TRADING FROM THEIR HOME 


PERFORMANCE ART 


COMPUTERS BETWEEN ROUNDS OF GOLF. IS THIS ANY 
WAY TO MAKE A FORTUNE? LARRY DUBOIS TELLS ALL 


THE BEST THINGS I'VE DONE FOR A MAN —STRIPTEAS- 
ES, THREESOMES, MASTURBATION, VOYEURISM. CREATIVE 
SEDUCTRESSES CONFESS THE NAUGHTY WAYS THEY'VE 
PLEASED THEIR MEN. BY LORI WEISS 


WRESTLING МАМІА- STARRING THE LIKES OF SABLE. 
GOLDBERG AND "STONE COLD" STEVE AUSTIN. THE STE- 
ROID SOAP OPERA PUMMELS THE MONDAY NIGHT RAT- 
INGS. MARK HUDIS GOES INSIDE THE LOCKER ROOM 


INSTRUMENTS OF PEACE—HIS FATHER WAS A MOBSTER, 
BUT THE KID SEEMED LIKE A NICE BOY. MY TEENAGE 
DAUGHTER THOUGHT SO. FICTION BY EDWARD FALCO 


PLUS: DRINKS FOR A BARBECUE, THE BEST NEW BIKES 
FOR SUMMER, HIP FISHING GEAR, STOCK MARKET TOYS 
AND BILL MAHER'S GOOEY TRIBUTE TO NUDE PERFOR- 
MANCE ARTIST KAREN FINLEY 


Playboy (ISSN 0032-1478), June 19 
Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, Illinois 60611. Periodicals postage ра 
Publications Mail Sales Product Agreement No. 56162. Subscriptions: in the U.S., $29.97 for 12 issues. Postmaster: Send address change to 
184 Playboy, PO. Box 2007, Harlan, lowa 51537-4007. For subscription-related questions, e-mail eirc@ny.playboy.com. Editorial: edit@playboy.com. 


olume 46, number 6. Published monthly by Playboy in national and regional editions, Playboy, 680 North 


садо, Illinois and at additional ma 


Post Canadian 


It's a tough job, but sor 

Is it the fresh, сін 
Northwest that make 
pilsner? Or Is it the triple filtering and smooth plisner 
brewing? We could simply tell you it’s both. 

But that would. + the fun. 


1 OZ. SUPER-PREMIUM TEQUILA 

1 02. GRAND MARNIER 

1 02. FRESH-SQUEEZED LIME JUICE 
SUGAR TO TASTE 


ADDING