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HAWAI м! 


TRONG L. 


“е 


The Stars 
The Brawls 
The Girl 


BARNEY FRANK 
INTERVIEWED 


"Ghocolate Fantasies 


How To Get Rich If You 
Have The Balls For It 


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www.brownandwilliomson.com 


Box Kings, 16 mg. "tar"; 1.2 mg. nicotine av. per ciga 


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PLAYBILL 


SOME DAYS you can almost taste the heat—and this issue is like 
a month of those days. Our cover pictorial, The Girls of Hawai- 
ian Tropic, is the second time we've uncovered the best bikini 
contest in the country. The опе was a scorcher; this one 
features oil slicks even Creenpeace could love. 

No one unnerves Republicans on the Hill more than Barney 
Frank, representa! from Massachusetts. Intolerance makes 
Frank incensed. His leadership of the minority made him the 
clear winner in the Lewinsky mess. Now, in an unadulterated 
Playboy Interview with he presses the advantage. He 
says Jerry Falwell is “nutty, with a compulsion to be a public 
moron,” and explains why Henry Hyde has seen The Bridge on 
the River Kwai too many times. For an outsider's inside take on 
the Beltway, read Frank's mind. 

From the Hill to the mat: You know wrestling is fake, you 
Know its big. A few issues ago, we showed you it could be 
beautiful. But you probably don't know the dirtiest moves in 
wrestling take place in the feud between the WWF's Vince 
McMahon and the WCW's Eric Bischoff. 1n Wrestling Madness, 
Mark Hudis (with an assist from William Harlan Pryor) referees 
the dispute. We give you an update on Sable as well, and a 
rogues' gallery of Goldberg, Steve Austin and friends. For our 
next bout it's David Wells vs. Jesse Ventura, then David Wells 
vs. Roger Clemens—hell, then David Wells vs. everybody. 
Drinking, Screwing, Defying by Mark Ribowsky is an uncensored 
О. and A. with the most likable beer-bellied hurler in baseball. 
Be warned—it's no autograph session. To wit: “Jesse Ventura 
is just another politician, a suck-ass with a bald head." In a 
heavy 20 Questions, Warren Kalbacker tries to brush Michael 
Moore off the plate, but the man behind Roger and Me and the 
new show The Auful Truth has а sweet swing. Moore talks 
about his battles with avoirdupois, the folly of " Buy American" 
and why factory workers need to play golf. 

In the market, volume can turn a tiny price increase into a 
thousand-dollar gain. That's the allure of day trading. But if 
the price goes in the wrong direction, you're a loser—big 
time. Extreme Wall Street by Larry DuBois (illustrated by Christian 
Northeast) is all about being a grinder (not trying to win big) 
and knowing where to access information. Does losing thou- 
sands by noon sound stressful? Try a dose of kava. Self-med- 

ating with herbs is trendemic. In Root Rage, Carl Sherman 
goes low to the ground to unearth the best shrubs and sexual 
stimulants. Find out what works—and what might not. 

Sometimes the right woman knows when to do wrong. 
Some of the stories Lori Weiss gathered for The Best Things Ive 
Ever Done fora Man would make Dr. Laura's brain sweat—like 
the one from a woman who shared her man with another la- 
dy. These remembrances of flings past will give you hope for 
tomorrow. Speaking of optimism, Sci-Fi TV by Daniel Radosh is 
an inspired look at how television sees the future. It's an an- 
niversary celebration of everything from Captain Video to Futu- 
rama. Set your phasers to stun. 

The Instruments of Peace, our story by Edward Falco, pits an 
honorable man against the Mob. Throw in a virginal daugh- 
ter and you have trouble. The illustration is by Bruce Wol 
Frankly, we'd rather be fishing. Gary Cole, our resident sports 
man, recounts the joys of angling in The Manly Secrets of Fly 
Fishing. Hint: It's all in the wrist. After you master casting, 
you'll deserve one of the concoctions in Summer Shooters by Ray 
Foley (the unusual photo comes from Davis Factor). For dessert, 
turn to our Karen Finley pictorial with a cameo by Bill Maher 
(Stephen Wayda shot it). Finley is a performance artist who cov- 
ers her body in chocolate. She's our kind of candy ass. 


HUDIS RIBOWSKY 


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DU BOIS SHERMAN 


FOLEY 


COLE 3 FACTOR WAYDA 

Playboy (ISSN 0032-1478), July 1999, volume 46, number 7. Published monthly by Playboy in national and regional editions, Playboy, 680 North 
Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, Illinois 60611. Periodicals postage paid at Chicago, Illinois and at additional mailing offices. Canada Post Canadian 
Publications Mail Sales Product Agreement No. 56162. Subscriptions: in the U.S., $29.97 for 12 issues. Postmaster: Send address change to 
Playboy, РО. Box 2007, Harlan, lowa 51537-4007. For subscription-related questions, e-mail circ@ny.playboy.com. Editorial: edit playboycom. З 


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PLAYBO 


vol. 46, no. 7—july 1999 CONTENTS FOR THE MEN'S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE 
PLAYBILL steer eis 3 
THE WORLD OF PLAYBOY АЯ vr y 9 
BOOGIE NIGHTS ..... ERA are 5 5 10 
DEAR РІДҮВОҮ....... Я ^ T = — Ban 15 
PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS ............ о ин 19 
MUSIC, cs er eee neos E "T Е н 22 
WIRED . е OTS В . 28 
MOVIES ..... ЗЕЕ 5 .. LEONARD MALTIN 30 
VIDEO ..... sieas E aig waa Mamet ee 33 ore 
BOOKS es 5 (——— ME 
MEN ГЛ ОКЫ BABER 236 
MANTRACK 39 
THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR... З E UT ken 398 
THE PLAYBOY FORUM ..... NE Me 45 
PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: BARNEY FRANK—candid canversatian ...... . 56 
EXTREME WALL STREET—article 2... LARRY DUBOIS бв 
KAREN FINLEY—pictorial . - ans ——— FEN 72 
THE INSTRUMENTS OF PEACE—ficti . EDWARDFALCO 78 [cm Horsey е 
LIGHT WEIGHTS—fashion ... 4 HOLLIS WAYNE 82 
THE MANLY SECRETS OF FLY FISHING—sport " GARY COLE 86 
DRINKING, SCREWING, DEFYING—THE WORLD 
ACCORDING TO DAVID WELLS—personality .. . . MARKRIBOWSKY 90 
ROOT RAGE—article ... +... CARL SHERMAN 94 
JUST PLAIN JENNIFER—ploybay's playmate of the month : * 98 
PARTY JOKES—humor a 110 
THE BEST THINGS I'VE DONE FOR A MAN—ortide ..........,. LORI WEISS 112 
TAKE A BIKE—gear..... S 3355 ` 114 
WRESTLING MADNESS—article .. МАЕК HUDIS and WILLIAM HARLAN PRYOR 120 
20 QUESTIONS: MICHAEL MOORE —À € exe 124 
SCI-FI TV—article sis gta ына елет DANIEL RADOSH 126 
SUMMER SHOOTERS—drink ..... Я m ¿RAY FON, 130 
GIRLS OF HAWAIIAN TROPIC—pictorial. .. . mE. 132 
LIVING ONLINE Е E eee MARK FRAUENFELDER 144 
WHERE & HOW TO BUY я И geni gue 3183, 
PLAYMATE NEWS . 3 a aS sabe gov Peek m m 167 
PLAYBOY ON THE SCENE DTP 171 
COVER STORY 


Surf's up, and sun goddess Brooke Richards shows off her gorgeous Hawaiian 
Tropic tan just in time for summer. There's lots more of Brooke and her bronze 
pols inside, sho! in Hawaii ond Mexico. Our cover was produced by Wes! 
Coast Photo Editor Marilyn Grabowski, siyled by Lane Coyle ond shot by Con- 
tributing Photographer Arny Freytag. Brooke's hair ond makeup were styled by 
Alexis Vogel for Fred Segal. Our workout-minded Rabbit, lucky guy, is fit to be tied 


Y CERTIFICADO DE КГ con. 5 


PRINTED IN U.S.A. 


PLAYBOY 


PLAYBOY 


HUGH M. HEFNER 
editor-in-chief 


THE PLEASURE 15 Ач. YOURS | nem 
WHEN ITs DONE BY HAND, 


JONATHAN BLACK managing editor 
ТОМ STAEBLER art director 
CARY COLE photography director 
KEVIN BUCKLEY, STEPHEN RANDALL 
execulive editors 
JOHN REZEK assistant managing editor 


EDITORIAL 
FICTION: ALICE K. TURNER editor; FORUM: 
JAMES R. PETERSEN senior staff writer: CHI ROWE 
associate editor; JOSHUA GREEN editorial assistant; 
MODERN LIVING: DAVID STEVENS editor; BETH 
TOMKIW associate editor; DAN HENLEY assistant; 
TOPHER NAPOLITANO senior editor: 
15 associate editor; ALISON LUND 
GREN assistant editor; TIMOTHY MOHR junior edi- 
lor; CAROL ACKERBERG, LINDA FEIDELSON, HELEN 
FRANGOULIS. CAROL KUBALEK. HARRIET PEASE 
JOYCE WIEGAND-Bavas editorial assistants; FASH= 
TON: HOLLIS WAYNE director; JENNIFER RYAN 
JONES assistant editor; CARTOONS: MICHELLE 
URRY editor; KERRY MALONEY assistant; COPY: 
LEOPOLD FROEHLICH editor; BRETT HUSTON, ANNE 
SHERMAN assistant edilors; REMA SMITH senior re- 
searcher; LEE BRAUER, GEORGE HODAK, KRISTEN 
SWANN researchers; MARK DURAN research li- 
brariam; ANAHEED ALANI. TIM GALVIN, JOSEPH 
HIGAREDA, JOAN MCLAUGHLIN, BETH WARRELL 
proofreaders; yor CANE assistant; CONTRIBUT- 
ING EDITORS: ASA HABER. CHRISTOPHER BYRON 
JOE DOLCE, GRETCHEN ЕБСВЕК. LAWRENCE GROBEL 
KEN GROSS, WARREN KALBACKER, D. KEITH. MANO. 
JOE MORGENSTERN, DAVID RENSIN, DAVID SHEFF 


ir nearest deale: 
eke \ 


ART 
KERIG POPE managing director; BRUCE HANSEN. 
GHET SUKI, LEN WILLS senior directors; scort 
ANDERSON assistant ari director: ANN SEDI. Super- 
visor, keyline/pasteup; PAUL. CHAN senior art assis 


P L N Y B О lant; JASON SIMONS art assistant 
y : PHOTOGRAPHY 


THE CATALOG MARILYN GRABOWSKI west coast editor; JIM LAK 

son managing editor—chicago; MICHAEL. ANN SUL- 

N LIVAN senior editor; STEPHANIE BARNETT. PATTY 

Check out the all-new. BEAUDET-FRANCÉS, KEVIN KUSTER associate editors, 

DAVID CHAN, RICHARD FECLEY, ARNY FREYTAG. RICH 

Playboy catalog, featuring ARD IZUI, DAVID MECEY, POMPEO POSAR, STEPHEN 

\ wayna contributing photographers; GEORGE GEOR 

a brand-new selection of ciou studio manager—chicago; вил. WHITE stu- 

dio manager—los angeles; SHELLEE WELLS stylist; 
ELIZABETH GEORGIOU photo archivist 


men's and women's apparel, 


plus lingerie, collectibles Е RICHARD KINSLER publisher 


PRODUCTION 
MARIA MANDIS director; RITA JOHNSON manager; 
KATHERINE CANPION. JODY JURGETO, RICHARD 
QUARTAROLL, TOM SIMONER associate managers; 
BAK TERIELA, DEBBIE тилоо fyfeselers; вы 
BENWAY. LISA COOK, SIMMIE WILLIAMS prepress 


CIRCULATION 
LARRY A. DERE newsstand sales director; PHYLLIS 
ROTUNRO subscription circulation director; CINDY 
RAKOWITZ communications director 


ADVERTISING 
JAMES DINONERAS, advertising director: Jer кїм. 
MEL, new york sales manager; jor HOFFER mid- 
sales manager; IRV KORNBLAL marketing 
director; темки GARRO LA research director 


READER SERVIC 
LINDA STROM, MIKE OSTROWSK1 correspondents 


ADMINISTRATIVE 
Arcia TERRONES rights © permissions director 


PLAYBOY ENTERPRISES 
CHRISTIE HEFNER chairman, chief executive officer 
ALEX NIRONOVICH president, publishing division 


RE [ASTER 
WYNDHAM BLSCKEUSTER Music 7 ука 
BELAGE HOTEL (2191 4n0-3232 = (714) 74012000 


OFFICIAL HOTEL 947 КТУУ Y (805) 583-8700 • (619), 


© 1999 PLAYBOY 


The legendary Shelby Cobra, the most admired, sought after, 
feared and copied performance car in the world, is available once 
again from Shelby American. Whether you prefer the original 
289 Street Cobra which started it all, the championship winning 
289 FIA Competition model, or the awesome 427 S/C, these new 
Shelby Cobras are designed to original specs and deliver all of the 
performance of our '60s Cobras, and more. Have one built for you 
by one of these recognized Shelby American Dealers. 


Alamo Sporis Cars 

3107 Broadway 

San Antonio, Texas 78200 
210/828-5511 

Fax 210/822-5512 
Contact; Kermit O'Neil 


All Pro Cars 

PO. Box 402 

Muncy, Fennsylvania 17756 
717/546-4800 

Fax 717/546-8726 

Contact: Lee Benson 


Classic Motorsports 
16541 Redmond Way #427 
Redmond, Washington 98052 
206/818-6002 

Fax 425/556-9509 

Contact: Karol Stubbs 


Shelby Cobras by Borders & Russell 
712 Williams Road 

Palm Springs, California 92204 
760/320-5312 

Fax 760/320-8093 

Contact: Don Borders & Randy Russell 


Echidna Racing 

100 S.E. 2nd Street #401 
Minneapolis, Minnesota 55414 
612/379-0643 

Fax 612/379-0620 

Contact: Jim Bartlett 


Finish Line Motorsports 
6755 Speedway Blvd. Suite B. 
Las Vegas, Nevada 80115 

7 


702/64 994 
643-7972 


Fax 
Contact: Roy Hunt 


Fitzgerald Motorsports 
1165 Union Avenue 

Laconia, New Hampshire 03246 
603/524-2311 

Fax 603/528-6334 

Contact: Dan Fitzgerald 


Fahrzeugtechnick GMBH 
Rheinische Str. 41 

44137 Dortmund, Germany 
011-49-231-148-215 

Fax 011-49-231-148-216 
Contact: Martin Drengenberg 


HRE Motorcars 
233 Buffalo Avenue 

Freeport, Long Island , New York 11520 
516/378-5461 

Fax 516/378-9492 

Contact: Billy Andrews 


Newport Shelby Cobras 
(Subdealer of FLMS) 

290 Fischer Avenue 

Costa Mesa, California 92626 
949/851-6320 

Fax 949/833-0253 

Contact: David Parcell 


Nostalgia Motorcars 
965 South Anderson Road 


Rock Hill, South Carolina 29730 
803/324-2277 

Fax 803/327-1040 

Contact: Jim Harrell 


noselas@rjsonline.net 


Shelby Cobras by Rocky Mountain Motorsports 
25967 Conifer Road 

Conifer, Colorado 80433 

303/674-3518 or 800/530-2600 

Fax 303/838-4550 

Contact: Karman Cusack 


Shelby Cobras by Midwest Motorsports 
46524 145th Avenue 

Holland, Michigan 49423 
616/335-8188 

Fax 616/335. 
Contact: Bil 


(E SHELBY 


AMERICAN, INC. 


THE WORLD OF PLAYBOY 


hef sightings, mansion frolics and nightlife notes 


KISSING UP TO TERRY 
Sportscaster and Steelers QB Terry Bradshaw got plenty of 
protection from the Kiss girls at the Super Bowl. With their 
pregame extravaganza and the March PLAYBOY cover, the 
boys in the band—Paul, Ace, Peter and Gene—prove it's 
Possible to rock and roll all night and party every day. 


LEO PAINTS THE TOWN 
Just before Leonardo DiCaprio went to Thailand to make 
The Beach, he made the rounds at Dublin's, where he ran 
into Hef's party posse. Environmentalists picketed Leo's 
movie in Thailand, but he got squeezed in Hollywood. 


RABBITS, RABBITS EVERYWHERE 

During the Chinese Year of the Nabbit PLArooY’s Nabbit Head took over Times 
Square in New York City. In Los Angeles, our Rabbit hopped onto the cover of 
Inside the Playboy Mansion, a compitation of Hef's intimate Mansion doings in 
both Chicago and 
Los Angeles. Help- 
ing Hef make more 
memories are Man- 
dy Bentley (left) 
and Brande Roder- 
ick, who joined him 
at a recent Bren- 
tano's bookstore 
signing. 


MOVIE NIGHTS AND MOVIE STARS 

At the Mansion: Making music together are Charlize 
Theron and boyfriend, Third Eye Blind front man 
Stephan Jenkins (above). At a screening for Myles 
Berkowitz’ 20 Dates, the director brought one of his 
stars, Па Carrere, to say hello to Не! (below). 


BOOGIE 


Body glitter. Disco balls. Glam rock. Hun- 
dreds of A-listers flashed back to the Seven- 


| ties at Hef's Boogie Nights bash, and Dirk 


Diggler would have been proud. (1) Pal 
Pamela. (2) Tori Spelling and Mandy Bent- 
ley: Up to no good? (3) Oscar De La Hoya | 
and fiancée Shanna Mokler. (4) Claire Danes’ 


| mod squad: Ben Lee and Mata Kirschner, 
_ (5) Stacy Fuson and Jeff Goldblum. (6) Dan 


м 


Aykroyd, Jessica Paisley, Mandy Bentley, Hef 
and Brande Roderick. (7) Soup's John 
Henson. (8) Kevin Costner and B! Allen. 
(9) Nikki Schieler and Heather Kozar. (10) 
Hefand writer Larry Gelbart. (11) Judd Nel- 
son, Kevin Eastman and Julie Strain. (12) 
— Andy Dick and Bijou 

| Phillips. (18) Playmates | 

Daphnee Duplaix, Va- 

nessa Gleason, Kelly 


Monaco and Jessica Lee. 


De 


LOCK YOUR A 


PLAY. > 


BEAMING INTO A STORE NEAR YOU. £F 
oL AENT IT TODAY. ks 


TREK @ i 
ject to change wiltot 


1998 by Paramount Pictures. All Ri 
mount.com/homevideo 


Ше. nnd we 
а ا و‎ FR 
б, ag e 
Te ow x 


© Philip Morris Inc. 1998 


10 mg "tar; 0.8 mg nicotine ev. per cigarette by FTC method. 


SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Smoking 
By Pregnant Women May Result in Fetal 
Injury, Premature Birth, And Low Birth Weight. 


The ee for 
Exotic ‚Lovers 


Car 
duPont 
REGISTRY i 


DEAR PLAYBOY 


BED NORTH LAKE SHORE DRIVE 
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 60611 
FAX 312-649-9534 
E-MAIL DEARPB@PLAYBOY.COM 
PLEASE INCLUDE YOUR DAYTIME PHONE NUMBER 


SABLE SCORES 
Rena Mero, known to the world as 
Sable (That Touch of Sable, April), is with- 
out question the sexiest woman ever to 
enter the World Wrestling Federation 
and the most alluring ever featured in 
PLAYBOY. I can see why millions tune in 
to watch Raw Is War. Wrestling is no lon- 
ger just about men in tights proving 
their testicular fortitude. The new Mon- 
day night attraction is Sable. 
Donald Wright 
Ottawa, Ontario 


Га rather see Sable do a Sable Bomb 
on a wrestler than watch Bryant Young 
tackle anybody on Monday Night Football. 

John Eldridge 
Lafayette, Louisiana 


First 1 had to convince my wife I buy 
PLAYBOY for the articles. Now 1 have to 
convince her I’m a wrestling fan, just 
for another glimpse of the most Ben 
ful woman you've ever photographed. 1 
hope there's a rematch with Sable in the 
not too distant future. 

Robert Bartley 
Amore, Alabama 


PLAYBOY really dropped the ball. One 
of the great things about Sable is the way 
she dresses, in black leather, latex rubber 
and wild animal prints. Posing her in all- 
white against a white background makes 
her look like any other model. 

Eric Fusco 
New York, New York 


GERRY, GERRY, QUITE CONTRARY 

I hate Morgan Strong's interview with 
Gerry Adams (20 Questions, March). The 
questions sound as if they were written 
by Adams himself, and the answers are 
shameless in their bias. Adams is hardly 
a voice for peace. He's a terrorist with 
bloody hands who condemns violence 
by the IRA only with great reluctance. 
He continues to stonewall the IRA dis- 
armament issue and is an obstacle in ne- 


gotiations when he doesn't get his way. 
PLAYBOY should have asked the hard 
questions and not played favorites. 
Andrew Peterson 
Rolling Meadows, Illinois 


What Adams fails to mention is that 
at presstime, more than 200 terrorist 
prisoners—many of them convicted 
murderers—had been released. But the 
IRA has not yet given up any guns or €x- 
plosives as was agreed. That breach of 
contract is holding up negotiations. Most 
of the English are as sick of the conflict as 
the Irish are, despite Adams’ insistence 
that Trimble is the unreasonable one. 
There are two sides to every story. 

Paul Gibbon 
Otley. UK 


I was shocked that a magazine with 
such a fine record on civil liberties would 
act as a mouthpiece for Adams’ blatant 
fascism. Your interview is so biased it is 
akin to interviewing the Grand Wizard 
of the Ku Klux Klan without once chal- 
lenging his beliefs. Gerry Adams is a 
more articulate version of Timothy Mc- 
Veigh, and Adams makes me ashamed 
to be Irish. 

Patrick Walker 
Londonderry, Northern Ireland 


Morgan Strong's interview is more 
suited to an IRA propaganda sheet than 
to your magazine. Having been raised a 
Catholic, with a father from Belfast. I 
cannot defend Adams, Paisley or Trim- 
ble. Why didn't Strong ask about the 
scores of murders and the dozens of 
exiles that have occurred in Catholic 
neighborhoods since the Good Friday 
agreement? 


Adam Winchester 
Beaumont, Texas 


MY BIKE'S BIGGER THAN YOUR BIKE 
So you think your article on big bikes 
(The Art of the Big Bike, April) covers them. 


GAMES 


The latest and. greatest for the PC. 


Early last year, the wicked minds at 
DMA unleashed Grand Theft Auto on 
an unsuspecting American publi 

Igniting controversy worldwide, 
from debates in the English House of 
Lords to discussions on CNN, GTA 
immediately developed а’ cult 
following. As petty thieves looking to 
impress their murderous gangster 
bosses, players of СТА complete 
missions by stealing cars, running 
from the law, and moving down 
mercenaries, rival gang members, and 
scores of unsuspecting pedestrians. 


Now, Gathering of Developers is 

he release of Grand Theft 
Director's Cut. It contains the 
Б uncut, full version of Grand 
Theft Auto, with the addition of the all- 
new Grand Theft Auto Mission Pach #1: 
London 1969. With its outrageous 
Hollywood-style car handling and 
freedom of movement, GTA: The 
Directors Cul lets players plow their 
way through three American cities 
plus La adon, covering a total of 6,000 


alleyways, and ae unique, 
zooming top-down view provides an 
unobstructed view of the mavh 
that ensues. Players of the original 
GTA live out their criminal aspirations 
to the sounds of a 60-minute 
soundtrack voted “Soundtrack of the 
Year” by PC Gamer. And GTA London 
ibes 


reggae hits from the time period 


A word on system requirements: The 
game's programmers managed to 
deliv with millions of colors 
and fantastic game play while avoiding, 
high-end system requirements, 
making G7 The Director's Cut 
‘cessible to most home computer 
hose who already own the or 
A, the Mission Pach can be 
chased separately, Both titles are 
available now in retail stores and on 
line at www.godgames.com/playboy. 


Next Month: Darkstone The latest 
Action/RPG for the PC. 


Advertisement 


PLAYBOY 


all? You're not even close. You forgot 
about the Boss Hoss, a factory-built 355- 
horsepower V8 motorcycle. Now that's 
a big bike. 

Mike Pettey 

Hot Springs, Arkansas 


You gathered an impressive list of big 
bikes, but you failed to mention the new- 
est of these monsters. Excelsior-Hender- 
son Motorcycle Manufacturing recently 
unveiled the updated Super X. This is 
one impressive bike. 

Curtis Habib 
Orlando, Florida 


The Titan Roadrunner Sport RM is 
the true big bike. It comes with a 107- 
inch motor and is ten times the bike the 
others will ever be. 

Jay Igo 
Gillette, Wyoming 


WHERE THE GIRLS ARE 
PLAYBOY has provided me with a bet- 
ter travel brochure (Spring Break, April) 
than any travel agent could offer. Pana- 
ma City Beach, here I come. 
Jason Helland 
Morris, Illinois 


I had the pleasure of mecting Spring 
Break girl Erin Wilson during an auto- 
graph session. Her cheerful, down-to- 
earth personality is matched by her radi 
ant smile and flawless beauty This was 
an experience I'll cherish fondly. 

Jim Lo 
Edmonton, Alberta 


A PRINCE AMONG ACTORS 
Finally, a man who thinks with his 

higher head and is honest about it—or at 
least tells great lies. Гуе always admired 
Nick Nolte's (Playboy Interview, April) tal- 
ent as an actor, and now I admire him as 
a man. 

Mickey Creel 

Pfafftown, North Carolina 


Your interview with Nolte is excellent. 
He is right in his belief that there is no 
such thing as absolute truth in three di- 
mensions. Every individual's experience 
is colored by personal fantasy 
Curtis Brown 
Neenah, Wisconsin 


IT'S AN ORAL TEST 

In the April Dear Playboy, Kurt Gasko 
claims he never thought of a blow job as 
passionate or romantic. Obviously, he 
has never had a good one. Many of my 
partners have said it’s better than inter- 
course. My advice to Gasko is that he 
date women who read PLAYBOY. 


ARABIAN BYTES 
Your information isn't up to date in 


16 the Raw Data item “Virtual Veils” (April). 


Saudi Arabia does have Internet service 
providers. I know of at least one, based 
in Jeddah. I've lived there and have 
friends there with whom I communicate 
via e-mail. 
Sam Gerace 
Westfield, New York 


ANOTHER RUSSIAN REVOLUTION 
Congratulations, Moscow! Natalia 
Sokolova (Neuer Say Nyet, April) is ab- 
solutely the best thing to come out of 
Russia since vodka. 
Greg Rogers 
Ottawa, Ontario 


Someone put in a call to heaven—it 
seems that an angel has escaped. Too 
bad Natalia wasn't around in the Sixties; 
she's so hot, there wouldn't have been a 
cold var. 

Jerry Harvey 
Atlanta, Georgia 


Move over, Pamela Anderson. There's 
a new queen in town, and her name is 
Natalia 


‚John Timp 
Seminole, Florida 


‘Twenty-two years ago I broke my 
neck, and, as with Miss April, Natalia 
Sokolova, it was six months before I took 
my first steps. Because she escaped pa- 
ralysis, she's even more beautiful to me. 
I admire her determination as much as 
her beauty. 

Les Winne 
Atlanta, Georgia 


THAT'S 420 

The term 420 (Playboy After Hours, 
March) is derived from the Grateful 
Dead. Everyone knows that the Dead 
and marijuana are nearly synonymous 
When the Dead toured, most shows 
started at 4:30. Therefore, people start- 
ed lighting up before the show—at 4:20. 
And so it goes that the Deadheads’ offi- 


cial favorite time of day was 4:20—which 

meant only ten minutes until the show 

and time for a good hit off the bong. 
Daniel Mason 
Meadville, Pennsylvania 


There is an abundance of evidence 
that the term 420 originated with a small 
group of friends who called themselves 
the Waldos in San Rafael, California dur- 
ing the Seventies. The phrase was a code 
they used to find out if the others were 
high. Their younger brothers picked up 
on the lingo and passed it on to their 
classmates, and so on. 

Steve Smith 
Los Angeles, California 


Your account of the possible origins of 
the slang term 490 is very different from 
one I heard from a friend who grew up 
on the west coast of India. It seems that 
many years ago there was a sitcom on In- 
dian TV with the number 420 as part of 
its title—an apartment number or street 
address. The program was silly, so 420 
became a slang code word among Eng- 
lish-speaking Indians. It has no connec- 
tion with recreational drugs—unless it 
came from people who thought doing 
drugs was something stupid. 
Chuck Hastings 
Bcaverton, Oregon 
We're embarrassed to reveal how much time 
we have already spent decoding 420. Indian 
TV? Ha. The Indian connection predates 
Shree 420, the 1955 Bollywood movie star- 
ring Raj Kapoor Now back to our research 


SAY YES TO ORAL SEX 
I'm a 24-year-old female subscriber 

responding to your survey Is There (Oral) 
Sex After Marriage? (April). 1 love giving 
and receiving oral sex; it makes me fecl 
empowered and sexy. Women who pro- 
test it are simply not comfortable with 
themselves sexually. 

Jane Donald 

Colorado Springs, Colorado 


RUDE RUDY 

According to Paul Schwartzman, Ru- 
dolph Giuliani (Rudy's Rules, March) is 
pro-choice, favors gun control, is for ho- 
mosexual rights and has been accused of 
committing adultery. Hell, Giuliani is 
not a Republican. he's a liberal Demo- 
crat. He will never be nominated by his 
own party. 


Dexter Franklin 
Romulus, New York 


ALL SEWN UP 
1 have subscribed to and enjoyed 

PLAYBOY for more than 30 years. The 
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something out ofa magazine. 

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` PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS 


PHARAOH FOUL 


Thanks to a report in the British jour- 
nal Nature, people who are sick of getting 
dumped on professionally can take so- 
lace in history. According to a study on 
ancient Egyptian medicine and pharma- 
cology, one of the more eminent posi- 
tions on the pharaoh's staff of personal 
physicians was the Keeper of the Royal 
Rectum. Back then it meant you were 
a wizard with enemas. Today it means 
you're the legal counsel of some chief 
executive 


DIAL-A-LIE 


Pagers, beepers, cell phones. It's a 
wonderful thing for friends and loved 
ones to have 24-hour access to you—un- 
less you're doing the wrong thing at the 
right time. A UK-based service called the 
Alibi Agency (alibi.co.uk) provides cre 
ative excuses for uncommitted people in 
committed relationships. OUR AIM 16 TO 
TAL PEACE OF MIND FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMI- 
Ly reads the home page's banner. With 
the company’s services starting at £20, 
you may obtain fake invitations to busi- 
ness conventions, false receipts, discreet 
pagers and a telephone line that serves a 
dummy hotel switchboard, “If you're go- 
ing to do something, do it—don't talk 
about it,” says the happily married co- 
operator of the agency, Ronnie Brock. 
“Stay positive. Why break up a marriage 
over sex?” However, until the agency 
sets up shop here, you're on your own 
when it comes time to explain why the 
branch office in Ohio has 011 as its ac- 
cess code. 


FUKUSHUYA ANID YOUR MOTHER, 
TOO! 


Japanese capitalism has reached a new 
limit, An article in the magazine Look 
Japan describes a new sort of entrepre- 
neur as "fukushuya (revengers), who will 
exact revenge on your enemies." The re- 
vengers stop short of murder but will 
pour battery acid on cars, kill pets or dis- 
tribute leaflets reporting extramarital af- 
fairs. The article closes with, "And just 
imagine what they'll do if you don't pay 
up.” Koan, punk—make my day. 


WILD PRODIGY 


vid Bowie, Oasis, Cornershop, An- 
nie Lennox and Luciano Pavarotti have 
given lip service to the Jubilee 2000 cam- 
paign. However, Prodigy's lead singer, 
Keith Flint, has gone a step further. In 
keeping with the program's goal of get- 
ting industrialized nations to forgive the 
debts of developing countries, Flint had 
the words DROP THE DEBT tattooed across 
his back. The Drop the Debt logo will 
start to appear on the CDs of many ma- 
jor artists during the next few months. It 
will probably be on Flint’s back longer 
than many of the albums will be on the 
Billboard 200. 


SEER SUCKER 


Nostradamus didn't predict Y2K, but 
he sure had a thing about July. This 
month one of his major predictions will 
be put to the test: “The year 1999, se 
enth month/From the sky will come a 
great King of Terror/To bring back to 
life the great King of the Angoulmois/ 
Before and alter Mars to reign by good 
luck." At least that's one translation 
offered by the Nostradamus Toolkit at 


ILLUSTRATION BY GARY KELLEY 


amae.com. What does it mean? Who 
knows—we'll just wait for Wes Craven's 
movie version 


BLOODY MARY 


Finnish women are starting off their 
nights with an unusual new way of soak- 
ing up alcohol. Reuters reports that 
some girls in Finland are apparently 
bent on avoiding flamethrower breath. 
The executive director of a Helsinki re- 
hab center says the dainty lasses dip tam- 
pons in vodka and then absorb the booze 
through their vaginas, Throw in a swiz- 
zle stick and you have a party 


DEAD SHOW 


Leave it to baby boomers to individu- 
alize that unayoidably collective experi- 
ence, death, Dallas-based start-up com 
pany WhiteLight helps you make a good 
last impression with a wide variety of 
steel caskets laminated with photomon- 
tages. “Personal expression isn't some- 
thing you get at the corner funeral 
home,” says co-founder Patrick Fant. His 
designs feature cherubs from the Sistine 
Chapel and a golf-oriented best-seller 
called Fairway to Heaven. With business 
exploding, the 17 current designs will 
soon be supplemented by others—in- 
cluding a casket that appears to be 
wrapped in plain brown paper, tied with 
twine and stamped Return to Sender. 


ATTRIBUTION NOT FOUND 


One of the problems of being so 
plugged into cyberia is that you some- 
times lose credit for work as it travels 
around the Net. A popular piece of 
chain e-mail on new terminology was 
cobbled together from several years’ 
worth of the “Jargon Watch” column in 
Wired. Now that we've pointed out the 
proper source, we'll take the opportuni 
ty to list the best terms. Generica denotes 
the faceless, boring landscape typical of 
Silicon Valley—strip malls, light indus- 
try complexes and chain stores. The key 
word (it means clueless) in the phrase 
"Don't bother him, he's 404" comes from 
the web error message "404 Not Found 
A flight risk is an employee entertaining 


19 


RAW DATA 


[_SIGNIFICA, INSIGNIFICA, STATS AND FACTS | INSIGNIFICA, STATS AND FACTS 


QUOTE 

“Don’t get me 
wrong. I like to get 
paid. But what do 
you do with any- 
thing over $10 mil- 
lion? After that, it 
doesn't make any 
sense." —SEAN PENN 


BILLION HEIRS 

Year in which the 
world’s population 
passed the 1 billion 
mark: 1804. Num- 
ber of years it took 
to reach 2 billion: 
123 (1927). Number 
of years it took to 
reach 3 billion: 33 
(1960). Number of 
years it took to reach 
ion: 14 (1974). 
са Of years it took to reach 5 bil- 
lion: 13 (1987). Year in which thc 
world's population is expected to 
reach 6 billion: 1999. 


BAR GRAPH 
The largest jury award in 1989: $75 
million. The largest jury award in 
1998: $1.5 billion. The largest jury 
award ever (a 1996 judgment against 
Ferdinand Marcos that was later 
overturned): $22 billion. 


PREGNANT PAUSE 
Annual number of pregnancies 
worldwide: 210 million. Percentage 
of all pregnancies that are un- 
planned: 38. 


CALI CALL 
Charge for the first three minutes 
of a phone call between New York 
and San Francisco in 1915: $20.70 
Charge per minute for the same call 
today: 10 cents. 


COMP USA 

Based on figures published in 
Forbes, average annual compensation 
of the 100 highest paid chief execu- 
lives in the nation last year: $22 mil- 
lion. According to the Bureau of Eco- 
nomic Analysis, annual per capita 
disposable income in the U.S. as of 
July 1998: $22,916. 


FACT OF THE MONTH 
60 Minutes is the only net- 
work television show with no 
theme song or music, 


GREASY LOCKS 

Amount of oil (at 
a cost of $2 billion) 
that Exxon recover- 
ed from the 11 mil- 
lion gallons spilled 
by the Exxon Valdez: 
1.5 million gallons. 
According to lab tests 
at NASA (performed 
at the suggestion of 
hairdresser Phillip 
McCrory), amount 
of oil that 1.4 mil- 
lion pounds of hu- 
man hair stuffed in- 
to mesh containers 
could soak up in a 
week: 11 million 
gallons. 


BITE SIZE 
Force exerted by 
the jaws of a Tyrannosaurus rex: 3011 
pounds (enough to crush a car). 
Force exerted by jaws of an alligator: 
3000 pounds. Force exerted by jaws 
of an African lion: 987 pounds. By 
molars of a human: 175 pounds. 


TAKE A BOW—PLEASE 
Percentage of 100 million ties sold 
yearly in the U.S. that are bow ties: 3. 


FROM THE MOUTHS OF BABES 

According to The Journal of the 
American Medical Association, percent- 
age of college students surveyed in 
1991 who did not consider oral sex to 
be sex: 59. 


WAG THE DOUGH 

Number of pizzas ordered by the 
Capitol from Domino's Pizza on Im- 
peachment Saturday: 1500. Number 
of pizzas ordered by the Pentagon on 
the first day of NATO's air strikes on 
Yugoslavia: 800. Number of pizzas 
ordered by the White House during 
busiest days of the Lewinksy scandal: 
900. Number of orders by the White 
House on an average day: 50. 


HARASS IS OURS 
According to the EEOC, percent- 
age increase in number of sex harass- 
ment charges since 1991: 120. 
—EILEEN KENT 


job offers. An ohnosecond is the moment 
after you realize you made a huge error 
and belore the error goes through. Our 
favorite term proves that resentment is 
the mother of invention: A seagull manag- 
eris a consultant who swoops in, screech- 
es, craps on everyone and then flies off 


TWO TURNTABLES AND A 
FRANCOPHONE 


Alizé has been name-checked in songs 
and interviews by ıhe Notorious B.1.G., 
Queen Latifah and LL Cool J. Now dis- 
tributor Kobrand has gathered cocktail 
recipes for the formerly obscure mixture 
of passion fruit juice and cognac in a bid 
for wider recognition. Turns out Tupac 
Shakur (who mentioned Alizé in eight 
songs) and Puff Daddy never saw eye to 
eye, even when it came to cocktai 
pac's favorite was Thug's Passion ( 
tal and Alizé). Puffy Combs prefers his 
P'Diddy (two measures cach of Alizé Red 
and Absolut Citron, one measure cach of. 
Chambord and sour mix and half a mca- 
sure each of triple sec and Rose's lime 
juice). Either one is enhanced by a pack 
of Salems. 


PASTRAMI TO YOUR EARS 


Relax to whale noises? Fuhgedaboutit. 
Sounds of the City (highstresspress.co 
offers a tape of soothing New York City 
noises—sirens, horns and subways—for 
rural insomniacs who are afraid of sleep 


ing with the fishes. 


FATHERS OF INVENTION 


A sharp-cyed patent lawyer drew our 
attention to U.S. Patent 5,849,803, ap- 
proved late last year. Called Method of 
‘Treating Erectile Dysfunction with Ni- 
troglycerine, this technique of delivering 
nitro along the urethra was invented by 
two men born to the task: Nils C. Kock 
and Gerhard Lycke. 


BLACK MAGIC BREAKUP 


If your divorce has become a pain in 
thc neck, Stephen Rue will belp you rc- 
turn thc favor. The New Orleans lawyer 
is the author of Voodoo Divorce: Put a Hex 
on Your Ex Through Preparation and Knowl- 
edge (Forbes). The guide combines ag 
gressive legal advice with unorthodox 
revenge tactics that call for pins, dolls 
and animal parts. Here is the spell to win 
visitation rights: “Light one white and 
one orange candle. Put ca 
and peppermint in a red f 
gris bag. Place copies of your саге 
birth certi or pictures of your ch 
dren under your bed. Take a piece of pa- 
per that contains your children's names 
and pin the paper on the heart ofa voo- 
doo doll.” The easy part is winning cus- 
tody of your children. The hard part is 
convincing your kids that chickens and 
goats make nice house pets. 


MOTION PICTURE COMPANY 
We Know Movies 


SUNCOAST samgoody MEDIAVBLAY 


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DVD And Widescreen Formats Also Available. 


Avalabilty subject o change without notice. TM, © & Copyright © 1999 ty Paramount Pictures. Al Rights Reserved 
y paramount.com/ho ‹ 


R&B 


THE ATLANTA-BASED trio TLC reinvented 
the girl group for the hip-hop era with 
clever costumes, rapping verses and 
smart double entendres. Five years ago, 
T-Boz, Left Eye and Chilli's album Crazy- 
SexyCool became a landmark of the de- 
cade, ingeniously mixing sing-along 
melodies, R&B rhythms and rap's frank- 
ness. TLC returns with Fan Mail (Arista), 
a 17-track collection that is top-notch. 
The best producers and writers in con- 
temporary music (Babyface, Dallas Aus- 
tin, Jimmy Jam, Terry Lewis and Jer- 
maine Dupri) bring their considerable 
skills to bear. Unpretty, written by Austin 
and T-Boz, is an instant classic about a 
young woman's self-esteem, articulated 
with a great hook. The Diane Warren- 
penned Come On Down shows why this 
songwriter has become one of the chief 
sources of current R&B material. Young 
producer Kevin Briggs provides the fun- 
ny, feisty No Scrubs, which captures the 
TLC attitude. The album's chief draw- 
back is that despite spunk and charisma, 
the singing is only adequate, particularly 
on ballads. Still, TLC is distinctive and 
back on track. — NELSON GEORGE 


ROCK 


On its third album, Vengeance (North 
Side), Garmarna continues its plunge in- 
10 the strange world of medieval fantasy. 
Garmarna sings about mass murder, tor- 
ture and leaving your enemy's corpse to 
be devoured by dogs and ravens. These 
present-day Vikings seem to have the 
same preoccupations as gangsta rap. 
Garmarna, however, transcends its de- 
pressing subject matter. Playing a unique 
blend of heavy guitar, Scandinavian folk 
music and electronic weirdness, it 
grooves and drones and trances out, tak- 
ing the listener with it. The lyrics are in 
Swedish, but you don't need a trans- 
lation to know vocalist Emma Hardelin 
is simultaneously staring into the abyss 
and dancing. The only way you'd get 
more chills would be to go for a swim in 
the Baltic Sea. —CHARLES M. YOUNG. 


On Bourbonitis Blues (Bloodshot), Ale- 
jandro Escovedo is reckless enough to 
open by declaring 7 Was Drunk, sensitive 
enough to pull off Lou Reed's Pale Blue 
Eyes, folkie enough to fill in for Woody 
Guthrie on California Blues and punk 
enough for the Stoogian extravaganza 
Everybody Loves Me. On Guilty, he gets up 


a tougher feat tha 
Through it all, 
own man, a wise character whose obser- 
vant lyr te he's a lot more sober 


22 than he's letting on. 


Fan Mail trom TLC. 


TLC returns, the Duke's 
birthday salute and Stevie 
Ray Vaughan remastered. 


Paul Westerberg has finally recovered 
from the breakup of the Replacements, 
one of indie rock's great glories. Suicaine 
Gratification (Capitol) brings his songs, 
with their punky puns and laconic vo- 
cals, back into focus. Co-producer Don 
Was does for Westerberg what he’s done 
for so many aging rock stars. It's hard to 
imagine Westerberg as a grown-up, but 
that's just why you need to listen. 

The irreplaceable Dusty Springfield 
was the one truly great female artist of 
the British Invasion. Rhino's Dusty in Mem- 
phis and Dusty in London, sessions record- 
ed between 1968 and 1970, reveal her as 
a sultry, soulful pop entrancer. Shell be 
sorely missed —DAVE MARSH 


JAZZ 


Richard Leo Johnson is an Arkansa: 
native whose dazzling major-label debut 
album, Fingertip Ship (Metro Blue), may 
establish him as the most innovative gui- 
tarist since Jimi Hendrix. Johnson is a 
one-man guitar orchestra. He conjures 
an entire universe of tones, rhythms and 
lightning-fast runs on an unaccompa- 
nied 12-string acou: Fingertip Ship is 
full of roiling celestial chimes, mercuri- 
al single-line runs, and a menagerie of 
pops. taps and slurs. At times you'd 
swear that 12-string master Leo Kottke, 
frenetic jazzman John McLaughlin and 
Jaco Pastorius have morphed into one 
person. In fact, Johnson was influenced 
by a friend's unmarked tape of Kott- 


ke and McLaughlin tunes. (He thought 
it was just one guitarist playing every- 
thing.) But Johnson's music i about 
much more than flashy techi 
multilayered folk-jazz compositions have 
real depth and bite. —VIC GARBARINI 


Duke Ellington holds a nearly incal- 
culable place in jazz history, with more 
than 2000 compositions to his credit. No 
surprise, then, that his centennial would 
yield the largest jazz anthology ever— 
the 24-disc Duke Ellington Cenrennial Edi- 
tion (RCA). Ellington recorded these sides 
from 1927 to 1973, giving this set a 
grand overview. The highlight 
Ellington's great burst of creativit 
Forties, when he and alter ego Billy Stray- 


1 horn cemented his legacy with a series of 


gemlike miniatures, and vibrant large 
works from the Si: The Far East Suile 
and Sacred Concerts. But God is in the 
details of this remarkable discography. 
(Comparing four versions of Black and 
Tan Fantasy from 1927, 1932, 1945 and 
1966 helps trace Ellington's evolution.) 
The sound reconstruction of old and 
worn recordings is state of the art, and 
the liner notes offer accessible analysis in 
some 20 essays. For those uncomfortable 
with the $400 tab, this 24-course meal 
will be sold in six more-manageable 
morsels. — NEIL TESSER 


RAP 


1f you think pop music today—domi- 
nated by boy groups and dance drivel— 
you ought to listen to 
hip-hop. This is its golden age, as three 
excellent albums demonstrate. Designed 
to turn teenagers on while driving their 
parents nuts, The Slim Shady LP (Inter- 
scope), by Dr. Dre's white protégé Em- 
inem, recalls the Beastie Boys' Licensed lo 
s hilarity and button-pushing of- 
x it couldn't warn 


ios at home, these do 
venge murders and one OD. Eminem 
rhymes with the imagination of a dirty- 
mouthed Ogden Nash (how about "eye- 
balls" "Lysol—"my fault"?). Here's hop- 
ing follow-ups to the irresistible My Name 
Is will give censors ulcers all year. 

Prince Paul Presents a Prince Among 
Thieves (Tommy Boy), by former De La 
Soul music man Prince Paul, 
dacious but totally different: a 77-minute 
rap opera so well plotted, it has been 
picked up by Chris Rock, who will play a 
crackhead in the movie. Other cameos 
go to old-t bb Rock as a drug 
don, Kool Keith apons dealerand 
Big Daddy Kane as a pimp. And. yes, the 
beats are def 

Things Fall Apart (MCA), the fourth al 
bum by Philly progressives the Root 


just anything. 


"Е put the Pi 


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1. HERES HOW TO ENTER: On on fcil entry frm orl 
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в stroker 21 years of ge o older as of date of entry 
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Май your completed erty form r a handaceressed 4- 
ME X 3/2 MD business size) envelope, weh агы. 
class postage stemp ales, to. Bast Sweepstakes, PD 
Box 4565. Bar. NE GBOUSASED. Lera one enuy per 
‘utes maling envelope. Ertries rust be received by 
93098 


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TWIN BIKES 


Al entries must be on official ertry forms only No photo- 
coped or mechanically reproduced entry forms accepted, 
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ike to receive, send a seperate, soll addressed, stamped 
#10 Ibusress-siel envelope to: Besc Ertry Requests, 
РО, Box 4399, Blair. NE BEDOS 4309. Lint one 
request per cuter mating envelope, Residents of the 
states al VT and WA ory need not ai postage te 
retum ervelopes, Participation limited ta residents of the 
US. who ere smokers, 21 yeors of age or older. Entry 
form request must be recewed by 8/30/83, 

3. GENERAL RULES: Sweepetstes open to residents of the 
US. who are smokers, 21 years of age or older at time 
ol entry. Employees ol Phi Morris Incorporated СРМ. 
USA, les ates, subsidiaries, echertisng end prome- 
ion agencies and the immediate family members cf each 
же not eiie, Vod in MA, MI. zt retad n VA end where 
prohibited by ew. AI federa. state end local ews and 
regulations apply. AI entries become the exclusive prop 
erty of PM USA ard wil not be returned. PM USA wil 
mot be responsible for lost, late, derragec. postage due. 
‘miadrected or mulated mal. Ircomplete or ilegible 
entries, entries without а signature cr entries not neu 
ing a data of birth wil be deemed гай ard void. A ran- 
dom drawing to sward all prizes wil be held on or about 
10/7/58 Irom ameng al eligible entries received by D.L. 
Вг. Inc, an independent judging organization whose. 
decisions are ial on gl matters releung to Wis sweep: 
stekes. The odds of witning depend upon the rumber of 
elige entries received, Potenbal winners may be 
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EgiblityRelease of LicbityPubicity Release/Prize 
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tion. Noncomplionce within this time релй may геги in 
iequelfcetion and the selection of an eharrate wer 
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Any przefprize nouicaton returned to PM USA es unde 
lverabie wil result in disqualification and an aterrate 
winner wil be selected. Traveling companions d travel 
prize winner will be required to sign ard retum a 
Release ol Liblity prior to departure and must be 21 


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THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE BASIC SWEEPSTAKES OFFICIAL RULES. 
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Travelers must possess required travel documerts le g 
valid photo ID etc) end must travel on dates speched by 
РМ USA. Limt one prae per person. Wirrers are. 
responsible for all federal. tete and local taxes: vehicle, 
Pop-up camper and boat winners are aidtionally respon 
ie for any applicable licercing insurance, bile ond 
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permitted. РМ USA reserves the rin a provae a cash 
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also be offered through participating retailers and 

mal. Accsptanca ol prie offered corstitites per 
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purposes without further nace and compensation 
Unless prohibted by lew. 

8. PRIZES AND APPROXIMATE RETAIL VALDES: A oa) ol 
2.124 praes wil te awarded as love: 1 Grand Prize 
ıa Lincoln Logs log cabin including $45,000 towards 
property and home furishirgs (8150,400). Winner 
must obtain or provide property on which to bald the leg 
cabin within one year ot winning prize 5 rst Prizes - & 
brand new Ford® Pickup Truck [$27 995 each. 5 
Second Prizes - a Pro-Line 19 foot Sportsmen boat, 
тог trailer. sun top and conct guard package. 
1822.000 eachi. 5 Third Praes - a Coleman® by 
Fieetioot Pop-Up Carrper, ncluding portable tolet end 
portable TV HIE, DEO exchl. 5 Fourth Prizes - a 7.425 
Tight trip for two їп the Grand Canyon, including round- 
trip ecach acre kom wirrer's nearest commercia air- 
port. hate accommodations fone гост end $1,000 
spendicg money 34.500 sechl. 25 Fifth Prizes - a 
Philips Magnavox 60° Large Screen TV ($3 015 eech) 
50 Зил Prizes - ë Sea beige reciner ($965 each} 
25 Seventh Prizes - Fui? Bicycles. 1 таё/1 temae 
18920 por set of 2 bikes! 50 Eighth Prizes - s Stanley 
Proto tod set including 4 drawor too chest ord 158 
piece tool set 18790 each. 50 Ninth Prizes - Coleman® 
camping equipment inch tert. stove, lantern, set ol 
cookware coder, fashiaht and two sleepng bags ($418 
each), SC Tenth Praes - an Ames gardening set, includ 
(ng plantas vagon, a E piece tel set and З осо hand 
tool set 18210 each). 250 Beventh Prizes итеге 
choice ol в mde or ferrate Timex watch ($50 each, 100 
Tuelth Prizes - an American Fle, inducing pae and 
mourtinghoróware ($25 each). 500 Tirteent Praes. 

a роб iter ($24 sach) 1.000 Fourteenth Pres 

а coupon lor a free carton d Basic cigarettes ($22 
tochi. lzudents of the states of MN and UT wil receive 
the cech erunelent of te carton coupon, Prizes consist 
only of those tems specifically isted as pert ol the prize. 
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12/17/99, send e seperete. selferidressed, szemed. 
¥10 envelope to: Basic Swuspstakes Wimers, PD. Bor 
4997, Bi, NE B80094387. 


IS IT A CRIME TO CRY ELVIS IN A CROWDED 
NIGHTCLUB? DEPARTMENT: San Antonio 
disc jockey Lorry Johnson has filed suit 
against the sheriff's department and 
others for false arrest. Johnson was 
arrested for saying Elvis’ name in the 
club where he works. Police officers 
claim it was a code word to alert un- 
derage strippers that the cops were 
there. Everyone's all shook up. 
REELING AND ROCKING: Paul Wester- 
berg's collaboration with Don Was has 
moved from the recording studio to 
the movie studio. Instead of touring, 
Westerberg wants to make a film of his 
new band performing. . . . Director 
Robert Altmar's grandson ропа made a 
documentary about David Crosby and 
the band he formed with his long-lost 
son, Jomes Raymond. It will air on PBS 
and will be available on video. . . . Billy 
Idol has landed a part in the animated 
movie Heavy Metal: EA.K.K.2. He'll 
provide the voice of Tyler, who is pur- 
sued by a female warrior out for re- 
- . Burt Bacharach will appear in 
in Powers sequel and has writ- 
ten songs with partner Hal David for 
the score of Bette Midler's Jacqueline Su- 
sann movie. . . . Rob Zombie will write 
and direct The Legend of 13 Graves for 
Madonna's film company. 
NEWSBREAKS: Jim Beam bourbon 
has launched B.E.A.M. (Benefiting 
Emerging Artists in Music), a pro- 
gram that will provide financial as- 
sistance, resources and exposure for 
up-and-coming musicians. Pot DiNizio 
of the Smithereens is chairman of the. 
advisory board. Interested musicians 
can learn more on the Jim Beam web- 
ite (jimbeam.com) or by writing to 
PO. Box 4723, New York, NY 10163- 
4723. .. . Geri Halliwell is getting more 
than a million dollars to chronicle her 
rise from nude dancing and the Spice 
Girls to UN ambassador . . . Other 


FAST TRACKS 


Spice news: Mel C is singing the theme 
for the new James Bond movie, The 
World Is Not Enough. . . . Twisted Sister, 
reunited after 12 years, will be tour- 
ing soon. . .. More reunion news: 
Dave Stewart and Annie Lennox will have 
a new Eurythmics album rcady when 
they tour in November, and Bernie 
Worrell will reteam with Bootsy Collins 
and George Clinton for a Mammoth 
Records release. . . . Coolio stars in a 


UPN pilot for a comedy series spin-off. 


of Malcolm and Eddie. . . . Ihe Lovers, 
Sting’s next album, will be out in the 
fall. . . . Jimi Hendrix’ father has just 
published My Son Jimi. Now that al 
Hendrix owns the rights to his son's 


music, he wanted to "get the story of 


Jimi's life straightened out.” . . . Court- 
ney Love narrates an hour-long docu- 
mentary about the actress Clara Bow 
urner Classic Movies. . . . More 
Courtney: She co-stars in Man in the 
Moon, the Andy Kaufman film bio R.E.M. 
provided the title for and is scor- 
A sequel to the T'V miniseries 
the works. The Seven- 
lies will air next season and cover Wa- 
tergate, feminism and disco. Can a 
soundtrack be far behind? . . . Expect 
to see the John Lennon tour bus at all 
the summer festivals—Lilith, Horde 
and Warped. The bus’ mobile record- 
ing stu will allow fans to create 
their own records on the spot... . 
Lastly, it was inevitable that Wall 
Street would get into the music busi- 
ness, and it has—on two new labels 
that will emphasize live performances 
and an Internet radio station (www. 
radiophoenix.com). Phoenix Media 
Group marries a music aficionado 
from Salomon Brothers and Bankers 
Trust to a group of rock types, an in- 
die and club vet, a soundman and a 
major-label guy. What's next? Jam- 
at Nynex? —BARBARA NELLIS 


the first to escape the feckless swing of 
the second-rate Jazz they love too much. 
Here they respect hip-hop's more forth- 
right tradition. —ROBERT CHRISTGAU 


BLUES 


Few musicians can propel the blues 
with their own energy. Corey Harris has 
done so on Greens From the Gorden (Alli- 
gator), a step into new territory as he 
expands his much praised command of 
acoustic blues to include Caribbean and 
rap influences. Harris is an ace with the 
slide guitar whatever the idiom, but his 
main attraction is a warmth reminiscent 
of Louis Armstrong. —CHARLES M. YOUNG 


Stevie Ray Vaughan has been bailed as 
a blues savior by some and dismissed as a 
Hendrix wannabe by others. Nine years 
after Vaughan's death, the comparisons 
1o Jimi ring false. Actually, they were op- 
posites: Hendrix was an innovator who 
used the blues. Vaughan was a bluesman 
who used innovations. Stevie Ray's raw 
tone, jazzy Western swing chords and 
Texas R&B shuffle revitalized the blues 
and remain major influences on this de- 
cade's young artists, from Kenny Wayne 
Shepherd to Pearl Jam. Epic has done a 
magnificent job remastering and ex- 
panding Vaughan's first four studio al- 
bums, rcleasing them as The Real Deal: 
Greatest Hits Volume 2. But the real trcats 
here arc the four live tracks added 
to each album—all previously unre- 
leased. —that should cement Vaughan's 
reputation as the finest white American 
bluesman of all time. — —viC GARBARINI 


COUNTRY 


True harmony is fading in country 
music because it doesn't fit on radio. But 
last winter's Trio И (Asylum) found Em- 
mylou Harris, Dolly Parton and Linda 
Ronstadt weaving a powerful statement 
about love and loss. The material in- 
cludes Lover's Return, a haunting 64- 
year-old Carter Family ballad. With Par- 
ton on lead, there's a lonesome version 
of Neil Young's After the Gold Rush. The 
sleeper is The Blue Train, a pop song orig- 
inally recorded by Maura O'Connell. 
"This album was recorded as a follow-up. 
to the critically acclaimed 1987 collabo- 
ration Trio. These women are three gold 
the fountain of traditional coun- 
— DAVE HOEKSTRA 


CLASSICAL 


Mozart wrote his first church music at 
the age of ten. By the time he completed 
his final work, the Requiem of 1791, he 
had written 63 pieces of sacred music. 
Nikolaus Harnoncourt has done a won- 
derful job with Mozart's Complete Sacred 
Works (Teldec), a 13-CD set of musical 
grandeur. — LEOPOLD FROEHI 


x 


IR 
899 IMPORTED BY BACARDI-MARTINI U.S.A., Inc., 


2. 


Disaronno Originale. 


Italian. Sensual. Warm. m 


vh Light A Fire 


WIRED 


PLAYBOY SCOOP: FURBY ACQUITTED 


It was headline news: Furby, the fuzzy 
electronic toy that infiltrated America 
last holiday season, was labeled a spy. 
The National Security Agency started 
the commotion by officially banning the 
critter from its offices, claiming the mi- 
crochip that enables Furby to learn Eng- 
lish and speak its own language (Fur- 
bish) also has the capacity to record 
classified information and later spout it 
out. Then the Navy fueled the contro- 
versy by banishing Furby (for the same 
reason) from restricted areas at its bas- 
es in its West Virginia region. Now, we 


know what you're thinking: The jabber- 
ing furball would be the perfect tool for 
spying on the jerk in the next cubicle 
But the truth is, a Furby is no Aldrich 
Ames. “It's a clever toy, but it doesn't 
record or mimic voices,” says Roger 
Shilfman, president of Tiger Electronics, 


long time to download. The Empeg Car, 
by comparison, stores 7000 songs or 35 
hours of music on its hard drive. To get 
the tunes into the player, you remove the 
stereo from the dashboard and connect 
to your PC by means of a USB or seri- 
al cable. Once the tracks are transferred 
(from either music websites or your own 
CDs), Empeg’s Windows and Mac soft- 
ware lets you customize playlists before 
hitting the road. This auto jukebox also 
features an FM tuner. The price: $1000. 

— MARC SALTZMAN 


BARGAIN BASEMENT PCs 


Computers are becoming as inexpensive 
as VCRs—and the price to beat is $500. 
Sure, you have to make a few sacrifices 
to cut this kind of deal. Most $500 com- 
puters are made by obscure companies 
(potentially risky) and they aren't the 
speediest systems on the planet. But the 
machines have enough muscle to do 
what matters—that is, run games and 
business software, and get you onto the 
Net. Witness eMachine's eTower 300k. 
This $500 PC offers a 333-megahertz 
processor, 32 megs of RAM, 2.1 gigs of 
storage, a 56kbps modem and both a 
floppy and a 24x CD-ROM drive. And 
«Machine throws in a 17-inch monitor. 
Not bad. Other bargain computers: Mi- 
croworkz' ¿PC and Micro Center's Pow- 
erSpec. For more information, visit com- 
puters.com. —JOHN w. ELLIS IV 


Set in 2100 
AD., Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri 
is a strategy game set in a world 


that's both futuristic and familiar. 
The futuristic: Mankind is forced 
to colonize a planet inhabited by 
worms that devour the human 
brain. The familiar: Factions of re- 
ligious nuts, tree huggers, capital- 

ts, warmongers, peaceniks and 
freethinkers attempt to force their 
agendas on society while strug- 
gling to gain political control. You 
choose a group to lead and then 
do whatever it takes to assume 
power. You can challenge the 
compuler or other players online. 
Either way, be prepared to get 
sucked in for days. (For Windows 
95 and 98.) —SETH TOMKIW 


Checking in with the boss from Tokyo, Paris and other international posts hos just got- 
ten easier with the lounch of Ericsson’s 1888 World Phone (pictured here). This sleek 
pocket-size portable cell phone offers roaming in more thon 120 countries. When ful- 
ly juiced, the 1888 lets you tolk for neorly five hours straight and supplies 80 hours of 
standby time. It also functions in 24 languages, has a 99-number phone book and es- 


Furby's creator. According to Shifiman, 
the NSA and the Navy "did not do their 
homework" before issuing the ban—and 
neither did anyone else. Of the many 
news sources that reported on the exile 
of Furby—including ABC News and The 
Washington Post—only PLAYBOY called T 
ger to verify the creature's ability to car- 
ry out the alleged dastardly deeds. 

— JOEL ENOS 


sentials such os coller ID and coll waiting. Plus, the 1888 
can be assigned two numbers—say, one for work ond one 
for pleasure. Н comes with a built-in wireless modem for 
sending foxes, e-mail ond pager messages from all those 
exotic locales. The price: $300. e Hewlett Packard has in- 
troduced the DeskJet 882C, o fost ink-jet printer that pro- 
duces color images almost os well os o photo lab con 
but isn’t a poin in the ass to sel up. What makes it 
easy? The $300 HP gives you the option of 
plugging the new Desklet into a USB port 
instead of the computer’s oft finicky 

printer ports. All of the new Macs ond ES 
any PC built in the past two years 

hove а! least one USB port, and 

connecting gear to it is а snop. 
You simply plug in a USB co- 
ble, and Windows 98 (or the 
new Мос operoting system) 
automatically recognizes 

the new device—with no 
noodling or configuring 
required. —81 


MP3 HITS THE HIGHWAYS 


The days of crackling tapes and CD 
changers exiled to the trunk are over. 
Empeg Ltd. has created a car stereo that 
plays MP3 files, the controversial audio 
format popularized on the Internet. For 
those of you who've missed the buzz, 
MP3 is a compressed digital format with 
near CD-qua sound. MP3 music files 
(both legit and pirated) are available at 
a variety of websites. The major com- 
plaints about portable MP3 players are 
that they hold only an hour's worth of 
28 music and that a single track can take a 


WHERE & HOW TO BUY ON PAGE 153. 


STAR WARS” 


— EPISODE I—. 
ACTE. 


= i = 
ars 


STAR WARS style. 


30 


By LEONARD MALTIN 


wu TIANMING is one of the founders of 
modern Chinese cinema—a mentor to 
such young filmmakers as Chen Kaige 
and Zhang Yimou. He has returned to 
his homeland after eight years in exile 
and created a gem: The King of Masks 
(Samuel Goldwyn). In this mesmerizing 
tale set in the rural world of Sichuan in 
the Thirties, a lowly street entertainer 
named Wang (Chu Yuk) has but one as- 
set, a secret technique that enables him 
to switch masks in the blink of an eye. 
Even the country's pampered leading 
actor bows to the mastery of this humble 
performer. But Wang is no longer a 
young man, and despairs that he has no 
heir—until he acquires a young son on 
the black market, where a child's life is 
cheap. How this leads to heartbreak, po- 
litical gamesmanship and the true ex- 
pression of love is the magic of this 
unique and powerful film. УУУЈ2 


The Red Violin (Lions е) has already 
won awards at a number of film festivals. 
It has all the ingredients of an art-film 
hit: international participation, a smat- 
tering of familiar actors (notably Samuel 
L. Jackson) and a flashy premise (follow- 
ing a musical instrument over three cen- 
turies’ time). The same basic idea has 
been tried before, notably in 1942's Tales 
of Manhattan, which followed a tailcoat 
through such owners as Charles Boyer, 
Charles Laughton and Paul Robeson 
The problem is not the concept but the 
result. Most of the vignettes are not ter- 


Arbiters of mass taste seem to think 
the public has no memory and cares 
only about celebrities of the moment. 
Consider then the phenomenon oftwo 
extraordinary female movie stars— 
one from the silent era, the other from 


STARS FOR ALL TIME 


пез and Sixties—who are still in 
the spotlight: Mary Pickford and Au- 
drey Hepburn. 

Hepburn is in a class by herself. Her 
look is utterly contemporary, and 
more than one young woman 1 know 
has pictures of her tacked to her bul- 
letin board at work. When the publish- 
er of Legends: Women Who Changed the 
World Through the Eyes of Great Women 
Writers (Publishers Group West) had to 
choose one image to put on the cover, 
Audrey Hepburn's photo won. 

Now there is a book called Audrey 
Style (HarperCollins), by Pamela 


MOVIES 
E 


The king of masks and his assistant. 


Passing on traditions, 
running for ycur life, 
living in limbo. 


ribly compelling, and are rarely satisfy- 
ing, though they cover the globe from 
Italy to China to Austria. Each story is 
laced with frustration and tragedy be- 
cause the violin has been cursed. So has 
writer and co-star Don McKellar, whose 
central idea never catches on. Even the 
sight of Greta Scacchi undressed can't 
raise this ambitious film above a pleasant 
diversion. ¥¥/2 


Clarke Keogh, with an introduction by 
the man most closely associated with 
Hepburn's wardrobe, Hubert de Gi- 
venchy. Designer Manolo Blahnik calls 
hers "the most important look of the 
20th century.” 

In your local toy store you'll find 
two separate lines of Audrey Hep- 
burn dolls representing her various 
wardrobes in Breakfast at Tiffany's and 
My Fair Lady. There is also talk of Jen- 
nifer Love Hewitt's playing Hepburn 
ina TV biography. 

Mary Pickford doesn't have the 
same degree of contemporary recogni- 
tion, but on the 90th anniversary 
of her screen debut, a beautiful new 
book called Mary Pickford Rediscovered 
(Abrams) by Kevin Brownlow affirms 
that new appreciation is due for the 
first great female movie star. 

There have been other Pickford bi- 
ographies during the past decade (by 
Scott Eyman and Eileen Whitfield). 


There's a great deal to be said for en- 
ergy. The question is whether or not it 
alone can sustain a film. Run Lola Run 
(Sony Pictures Classics) is a hyperkinctic 
German import that will attract some 
viewers because of its sheer momentum. 
The premise is simple: A young man 
messes up a drug deal because his girl- 
friend wasn't there to pick him up at the 
appointed hour. Now he's in hot water 
with his unforgiving boss, who's set to 
meet him in 20 minutes. Lola (Franka 
Potente) tells him to wait for her; some- 
how she'll find a solution. Using tech 
niques of animation and manipulation, 
director Tom Tykwer follows Lola as she 
runs for her boyfriend's life, racing the 
clock not once, but three times. How and 
why should we care about Lola and her 
boyfriend if each resolution is only a 
possibility, not a certainty? If technique 
were all, Run Lola Run would be worth 
running to see. As it stands, it's just a 
gimmick. YY 


. 


Emir Kusturica chronicled the tumult 
of his Yugoslavian homeland most re- 
cently in the epic Underground. Now he 
tells a different story in farcical terms— 
yes, farce. For in Block Cat, White Car (Uc- 
tober), the characters and their actions 
begin ordinarily enough. As the story 
mushrooms, the plot grows increasing- 
ly frenetic. Life, Kusturica seems to say, 
cannot be normal in a society such as 
this. Planned marriages, accidental 
deaths, love and revenge are all part of 


"There's also been an exceptional book 
about her valued collaborator, screen- 
writer Frances Marion (Without. Dying 
Down by Cari Beauchamp). They all 
point out Pickford's groundbreaking: 
status as a superstar, contract negotia- 
tor and co-founder of United Artists. 
(When Jack Nicholson won his first 
Oscar in 1976, he thanked Pickford, 
who'd appeared earlier on the broad- 
cast, for opening the door to profit 
participation for actors.) 

Now, best of all, Pickford's films 
themselves are coming back into circu- 
lation. Milestone Film & Video (800- 
603-1104) has released My Best Girl, 
Tess of the Storm Country, Daddy Long 
Legs, Stella Maris and Amarilly of 
Clothesline Alley, using the best archival 
materials available, with new orches- 
tral scores and color tinting. These 
films confirm what film buffs have 
known for years: Mary Pickford is as 
enchanting as ever. —LM. 


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32 


Cruz: Very much in control. 


OFF CAMERA 


She's already a major presence 
in European film, having worked 
for the enfant terrible of Spanish 
cinema, Pedro Almodóvar, and in 
such recent releases as Open Your 
Eyes and Tuice Upon a Yesterday. 
Now Penelope Cruz is amassing an 
equally impressive list of American 
colleagues—induding Woody Har- 
relson (in The Hi-Lo Country), Matt 
Damon and Billy Bob Thornton 
(who's directing her and Damon 
in All the Preity Horses). 

But Penelope Cruz seems to 
have kept a level head through it 
all. Perhaps because she's still so 
close to her family—and hasn't yet 
made a permanent move to Holly- 
wood (although she lived in New 
York for a while). Perhaps it's be- 
cause in her teens she learned dis- 
cipline when she started working 
asa dancer. 

The impression one gets is of 
a hardworking actor determined 
enough to want it all, and sensible 
enough to be grateful for what 
she's achieved. 

Although she speaks with an ac- 
cent, Cruz says working in Fngl 

s actually freeing for her because 
1 don't recognize myself so much 
in the character. The more 
tance there is between you and the 
character, the easier it is. In Live 
Flesh with Almodóvar, I was a pros- 
шше with a mustache and black 
teeth and nobody knew it was me. 
1 loved iL" She also appears in 
Almodóvar's next film (АЙ About 
My Mother)—as a pregnant nun 
with AIDS. 

Task thc gracious young actor if, 
growing up, she ever had a role 
model. Her answer is immediate: 
"Audrey Hepburn. It’s not that I 
dare to think I could be like her— 
she was an angel—but she is my 
inspiration in the way she was, the 
she did. I have seen all of 
Audrey's movies." Her favorite? 
‘Two for the Road. “1 love that movie. 
1 would like to make a remake of 
that.” Anybody listening? —L-M 


an atmosphere akin to a giant mad- 
house. The milieu is Gypsy life along 
the Danube, and the principals are 
two archrivals, now in their 80s, whose 
children cause them nothing but grief. 
Marked by vigorous performances, 
broad comedy and a never-flagging tem- 
Black Cat, White Cat is as funny as it is 
surprising. ЖУУ 


I admire Mike Figgis’ films, from his 
stylish Stormy Monday (now on video) to 
his uncompromising Leaving Las Vegas. 
So I regret to cite The Loss of Sexual In- 
nocence (Sony Pictures Classics) as one 
of the most excruciating films I've sat 
through in years. The first sign of trou- 
ble was the use of ironic title cards to in- 
troduce each section of the film. This has 
become an unfortunate cliché lately. and 
seems a desperate measure to prop up 

veak material. The material, in this case, 
is an allegorical look at one man's sexu- 
al experiences from childhood to the 
present day, with flashbacks to the orig- 
inal awakening in the Garden of Eden. 
Dense and pretentious, it plays like a 
parody of a Sixties art film. Viewers who 
haven't gone through such collegiate 
moviegoing may find this a novelty. I 
couldn't stand it. Y 


Watching a John Sayles movie is like 
diving into а good novel. Perhaps that’s 


satiable curiosity about people. He has a 
particular affinity for the working class 
and is incapable of writing a line of dia- 
logue that doesn't ring true. Sayles’ films 
never make the weekend top-five box-of- 
fice lists, but they make up an extraordi- 
nary body of work, including Matewan, 
Passion Fish, The Secret of Roan Inish, Lone 
Star and, most recently, Men With Guns. 
Now, in Limbo (Screen Gems), the direc- 
tor takes us to Alaska, where oppor- 
tunists think of new ways to exploit the 
state for the benefit of tourism, lifelong 
fishermen and cannery workers find 
themselves unemployed, and others sim- 
ply get along because they have no 
choice. Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio 
plays a singer working in a local saloon. 
Her teenage daughter (Vanessa Mar- 
tinez), full of doubt and self-loathing, 
has had to endure her mother's endless 
string of short-term relationships. David 
Strathairn is a loner who was once the 
star player on the high school basketball 
team. How these three eventually come 
together, in a series of unpredictable cir- 
cumstances, forms the core of the film. 
But Sayles peppers 
typically three-dimensional supporting 
characters. Like many Sayles movies, 
Limbo doesn't fit in any pigeonhole, but 
for intelligent moviegoers looking for 
something stimulating, it's manna from 
heaven. ¥¥¥/2 


MOVIE SCORE CARD 


capsule close-ups of current films 
by leonard maltin 


Besieged (Reviewed 6/99) Bertoluc- 
ci orchestrates an intriguing and 
oblique love story for two disparate 
characters, perfectly played by Than- 
die Newton and David Thewlis. ¥¥¥ 
Black Cat, White Cat (See review) A spry 
Gypsy farce. yyy 
Election (6/99) Reese Witherspoon is 
fabulous as a high school overachiev- 
er, with Matthew Broderick as the 
teacher who tries to stop her dead in 
her tracks in Alexander Payne's 
smart, sassy satire. EI 
Existenz (6/99) Cult favorite David 
Cronenberg explores virtual reality, 
with Jennifer [ason Leigh as a game 
designer who gets trapped in her 
own world—or does she? Y 
Get Real (6/99) This earnest drama, 
set in England, concerns a teenager 
who's comfortable with his homosex- 
uality—unlike his parents or the class 
jock (with whom he's developed an 
amorous relationship). EA 
The King of Masks (Scc review) An aged 
street performer yearns for an heir to 
pass on his ancient tradition in this 
exquisitely realized film. E 
Limbo (See review) Characters at 
crossroads somehow come together 
in Alaska. thanks to director John 
Sayles. EA 
The Loss of Sexual Innocence (See review) 
An excruciating treatise on sexual 
awakening plays like a parody of a 
Sixties art film. ¥ 
The Matrix (Listed only) Keanu Reeves 
is pulled into a parallel world of the 
near future in which he may be its 
savior. Overlong and silly at times, 
but a watchable film with striking ef- 
fects and production design. УМУ: 
The Red Violin (See review) A violin's 
travels are followed from the mas- 
ter's shop where it’s created in 16th 
century Italy to 20th century Canada, 
where it's the focal point of a fever 
auction. This sounds a bit better than 
it plays. Samuel L. Jackson and Greta 
Scacchi lead an international cast. ¥¥/2 
Run Lola Run (See review) This hyper- 
kinetic, superstylish exercise is a 
woman's frantic attempt to rescue 
her boyfriend. EM 
This Is My Father (Listed only) Aidan 
Quinn stars in a well-intentioned film 
directed by his brother Paul about an 
American schoolteacher's attempt to 
unlock the mystery of his father's life 
in Ireland 60 years ago. Уу 
Three Seasons (6/99) Топу Bui's com- 
pelling mosaic of stories set in mod- 
ern-day Saigon E 


YYYY Don't miss 
¥¥¥ Good show 


YY Worth a look 
Y Forget it 


VIDEO 


fin of NBC's Sud- 
denly Susan 
"| love David 
Lynch’s The 
Elephant Man, 


which is, | think, 
Lynch before he 
went. totally bi- 
zarre. | also like a 
Jot of Alan Parker 
movies —Mid- 
night Express, 
The Commitments—and Fritz Lang's M. 1 
love Hitchcock's 39 Steps. What's my fa- 
vorite way to watch videos? In silence. | 
hate going to the theater and hearing peo- 
ple talk.” SUSAN KIRUN 


BAD TASTE, FUNNY FILMS 


Judging by Todd Solondz Happiness, zr- 
riving on tape and disc this month, the 
trend in cinema is to see just how dark 
comedy can get. The boundaries of good 
taste are stretching, and all we can do 
is laugh 

Very Bad Things (1998): Five ordinary guys 
slay and chop up two people before turn- 
ing their deadly corkscrews on one an- 
other. Disgusting, foul and hilarious— 
and don't miss the painfully fanny last 
five minutes. 

8 Heads in a Duffel Bag (1997): The title 
says it all. At one point mobster Joe Pesci 
dreams that the heads sing Mr Sandman 
to him while the decapitated bodies do a 
jig. Written off by critics, but it gets bet- 
ter with age. 

The House of Yes (1997): Creep out! Horny 
Parker Posey is obsessed with Jackie O., 
and Posey thinks her brother is John F. 
Not even Clinton's Lincoln Room has 
scen anything this daringly distasteful. 
To Die For (1995): Nicole Kidman will do 
anything to be a TV newscaster—that in- 
cludes sleeping with everyone and ar- 
ranging the murder of her husband (Matt 
Dillon). Dark, but Kidman shines. 
Parents (1989): What if the moms of Pleas- 
antville begar ng their dinner guests 
other guests? It’s the Cleavers with meat 
cleavers. 

Spanking the Monkey (1994): We know 
what the title means, but we didn't know 
the mother would be the spanker and 
the son the spankee, Gross! 

Curdied (1996): Death-obsessed maid An- 
gela Jones gets a job with Miami's Post 
Forensic Cleaning Service, which mops 
up after dapper serial killer Billy Bald- 


win's gory mayhem. It is to laugh! Exec- 
produced by Quentin Tarantino. 
Troinspotting (1996): Scottish drug addicts 
find the bottom of socicty's barrel and 
then crawl under it. Lesson learne: 
not sling a bedsheet full of excrement in- 
to your girlfriend's parents’ breakfast 
nook— especially during breakfast. 
Harold end Maude (1972): The grand- 
mother of black comedies: Death-ob- 
sessed teenager Harold (Bud Cort) falls 
for 79-year-old Maude (lovable, wrinkly 
Ruth Gordon), who teaches him about 
pot and sex. Comically grim—Harold's 
fake suicides are unforgettable. 

— BUZZ MCCLAIN 


DISC ALERT 


You remasterin' me? Martin Scorsese's 
Taxi Driver (1976), the tale of an alienated 
New York hack (Robert De Niro) on his 
way to a psychotic explosion, has been 
digitally remastered and released on 
DVD ($25, Columbia Tristar). A 70- 
minute "making of" film produced for 
the release (an abbreviated version ap- 
pears on the tape release) includes in- 
terviews with the director and De Niro 
as well as Jodie Foster—who made the 
jump from TV cutie to serious actress 
with her role as an adolescent street- 
walker in the film. Both Foster and De 
Niro earned Oscar nominations for their 
turns, as did Bernard Hermann’s score, 
which seems even more ominously ee- 
rie on this new disc. If Robin Williams" 
home video of the moment, Patch Adams, 


GUILTY, 
PLES! pe 


larious societal exploita- 

tion films from the mid-Thir- 
ties—Narcotic, Maniac and 
that old chestnut Reefer Mad- 
ness (Kino on Video, $19.95). 
These films have been shined 
up and reissued with the new £ = 
Forbidden Fruit ($29.95), a CD- = E 
ROM documenting the crea- ER 
tion of 25 classic crude, rude adit” 

and so-bad-they're-qood ex- 
plorations of all things ta- 
boo. Necrophilia, wanton 
sex, drugs and cat's eyes 
are on the menu, and Ssa 
that's just in Maniac. Tw 


= 
E 


is too saccharine for your taste, check 
ош the often-cloying comic in his often- 
brilliant mode, portraying the man in 
the moon in The Adventures of Baron Mun- 
chausen ($25, Columbia Tristar). Wil- 
liams' unbilled cameo performance is a 
highlight of Terry Gilliam's elaborate 
but uneven fantasy —which is enhanced 
by the wide-screen DVD's eye-popping 
clarity. You will want to pause on Uma 
Thurman's body-painting scene. 
—GREGORY Р FAGAN 


in Love (Fiennes' Bord--blocked, broke and 

ith Paltrow—conjures Romeo and Juliet; 1998's Os- 
cor champ), Rushmore (con-do prep-schoal dark and his men- 
tor ore hot for the same teacher; Bill Murroy's best role yet). 


The Thin Red Line (director Terrence Mol 

poetry at the Battle of Guadalcanal; a gorgeous m: 
Piness (it’s painfully elusive and sexual in di 
ondz' New Jersey; unsetilingly funny). 


A Simple Plan (bumpkin bros who find $4.4 ı 
soon ga seporate ways; great goad-guy-in: 

Poxtan), A Civil Action (families send shark Joł 
ter corporate polluters; Robert Duvall rises fro 


Hurlyburly (Sean Penn and Kevin Spacey as nasty Hollywood 
scum who leave no scenery unchewed), Little Voice (fram the 
London stage hit, o Kewpie shut-in belts ta beat the bond; 
great sleaze by Michoel Caine as her agent). 


COMEDY 


ART HOUSE 


DRAMA 


THEATER 


Mighty Joe Young (the ape is 15 feet tall and Charlize Theron 
is a primatolagist; much better at home, with popcorn), Psy- 


cho (Gus Van Sont's shat-by-shat Hitchcock homage; fine, if 
you can get post the “but why?" question]. 


BOOKS 


SERIOUS SHTICK 


What makes Richard Belzer's UFOs, JFK and Elvis (Ballantine) 
a must-read isn't the familiar conspiracy material the actor- 
comedian has gathered. He seriously wants to con- 

vince us that "history—past and 
current—is just a collec- 

tion of accepted lies." 

But his sharp sense of 
humor doesn't allow him 

to miss an opportunity 

for laughs. For example, 

in citing the oft-quoted 
comparisons made by con- 
spiracy theorists between 
assassinated presidents 
Lincoln and Kennedy, Bel- 
zer can't help adding a new 
one: "A week before Lincoln 
was shot he was in Monroe, 
Maryland. A week before 
Kennedy was shot he was in 
Marilyn Monroe." You gotta 
love the Belz. —DICK LOCHTE 


MAGNIFICENT 
OBSESSIONS 


Earlier this year, artist Damien Hirst designed a $2000 limit- 
ed edition of Robert Sabbag’s 1976 cocaine-trade classic, 
Snowblind (Cunungule). This edition of the book, which 
tracks the descent of a New York executive turned coke 
dealer, is a design rush. It has а thick mirrored cover, a 
diecut containing a ralled-up $100 bill and a platinum 
American Express card for a bookmark. We talked with Hirst 
about what inspired his latest piece. 
Q: What characteristic attracted yau to Zachary Swan, Snow- 
blind's prataganist? 
A: He's a gaod guy, the fool. In the eyes af the law, he’s a 
bad guy, but not in terms of his canscience ond how he 
cares about his screwed-up couriers. The book is so well re- 
searched. A lot of people say it glorifies coccine. Actually, 
the book demystifies coke. There are only three reasons to 
toke cocaine: so you can drink ten times mare, so yau can 
slay up all night and talk shite, and because you can afford 
it. If you're doing it for any ather reason, you're an idiot. But 
1 think that coke has finally last its coolness. It's just o 
babbling drug now. 
Q: The mirrored cover tells the reader, “This book is about 
you." Do you agree? 
A: 1 really like that. The cover almost disappears as well. It 
reflects space into it—almost 
like not having a cover. 
It marks up easily and 
gets filthy. That mokes 
you feel dirty, which I 
quite like. | alsa like 
the idea that you 

buy it ond it also 

has money і 
It's a safe gift for 
anyone, because 
they'll look at it 
and think, Great! | 
got $100. 

— ОЕАМ KUIPERS 


NOVEL TURNS OF THE CENTURY 


From two separate offices at the same publishing company 
come two sprawling first novels that should get plenty of at- 
tention. Both are turn-of-the-century epics linked to the latest 
technology, but one is set at the start of the 20th century and 
the other at the end. In Turn of the Century (Random House), 
Kurt Andersen introduces George and Lizzie Mactier, a para- 
digmatic Manhattan couple—smart, sophisticated, successful 
workaholics with a pair of precocious children and no time 
to enjoy the wonderful life they've carved for themselves. 
George is an independent TV producer with a new series de- 
signed to blur the lines between news and entertainment. 
Lizzie owns a computer software company that is weighing 
takeover bids from Microsoft. As a co-founder of Spy maga- 
zine, Andersen established himself early on as an astute, facile 
and irreverent observer of modern culture. In the novel, 
those qualities are ever present. But over the course of 600 
pages, it's possible to get too glib. Andersen's narrative is a 
hyperkinetic reportage that leaves no detail unnoted. Ander- 
sen knows his stuff—corporate takeovers, computer hackers, 
the stock market, media ratings, unthinkable menu items at 
fusion restaurants. But with no relief from his droll non- 
stop commentary on corporate culture, the book seems su- 
perlicial—as wide as cy- 
berspace but no deep- 
er than a Web page. 
Lauren Belfer's debut 
novel, City of Light (Dial 
Press), is set in 1901, 
when the city that 
stood for progress was 
not New York Биг Buf- 
falo. The new century's 
technological wonder 
was electricity, made 
possible by the seem- 
ingly limitless power of 
nearby Niagara Falls. - 
The story is told from the perspective of Louisa Barrett, 
whose position as headmistress of a school for girls allows her 
far more freedom than most women were permitted. When 
the chief engineer on the electric project is found dead, Lou- 
fears the husband of her best friend is involved. City of Light 
is a richly textured mystery played out on a grand stage, tak- 
ing in the significant issues of the day—industrialism, labor 
unrest, environmentalism, technology, women's rights, race 
relations and presidential politics (Grover Cleveland came 
from Buffalo; William McKinley was assassinated there). In 
what is arguably the most noteworthy historical novel since 
Ragtime, Belfer does for Buffalo what William Kennedy did 
for Albany. She infuses it with light, creating a living memory 
that provides perspective not only on the developments of the 
last century but also on the possibilities for the next. 
—PAUL ENGLEMAN 


MEET THE MOB 

Al Capone, the original media darling 
af American gangsters, once com- 
plained: "When I sell liquor, they call 
it bootlegging. When my patrons serve 
it an silver trays, they call it haspitali- 
ty." For more great quotes from famous 
outlaws, cs well as blood-ond-guts pe- 
riod photos [some rore ond never be- 
fore published) pick up Public Enemies: 
America’s Criminal Past (Checkmark) by 
former PLAYEOY Senior Editor William 
Helmer with Rick Mattix. It's a who's 
who of bad guys. — HELEN FRANGOULIS 


Women Are Always Interested 
In AWell Educated Man. 


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MEN 


he things 1 do for you guys... it's 

amazing, isn't it? Consider my 
basic thoughtfulness toward you: Every 
time I give a massage to a Centerfold 
and then sip champagne with her in che 
whirlpool that Hef installed for me next 
to my cubicle, I never forget my loyal 
readers. During those moments of whirl- 
pool kiss and bliss, 1 make it a point to 
remember everything that is happening 
to me so 1 can tell you about it later. You 
believe me, don't you? 

1 see myself as your PLAYBOY surro- 
gate, your Man in Nirvana who does ex- 
acıly what you would do if you were 
lucky enough to be in my shower shoes. 
I spend my days in service to you, think- 
ing and writing about the issues that 
concern us, and then I minister to the 
women of rLAYBOY in a hands-on and vi- 
brating style of healing that makes them 
squeal like the cute and passionate little 
hellions they are. 

Given my selFappvinteu status as your 
alter ego, 1 have recently begun to pon- 
der some particularly vital questions that 
I know you are wrestling with as you 
look into the future: What is sex going to 
be like in the next century? What chang- 
es will lie ahead for us in the bedroom? 
Most important for us as men, what will 
the women of the next 100 years be like 
and how will they treat us? Just call me 
Asa Nostradamus, for 1 have seen the fu- 
ture and I am here to reveal to you the 
biggest changes in human sexual habits 
between now and the year 2100. Here 
are the top four: 

(1) Permanent peace will be established be- 
tween the sexes: This will be the news flash 
of the century. Shortly afier January 1, 
2000, Patricia Ireland, president of the 
National Organization for Women, will 
make a nationally televised statement 
that will change both history and hersto- 
ry. “I have finally seen the truth,” Ms. 
Ireland will report on Larry King Live, 
“and I hereby renounce the hard-heart- 
ed positions that NOW has sometimes 
taken on gender issues. I acknowledge 
that men are superior to women in every 
way. However, | came to this conclusion 
only after meeting Asa Baber. What a 
piece of work he is! How noble in rea- 
son! How infinite in faculty! In form and 
moving, how express and admirable! In 
action, how like an angel! In apprehen- 
sion, how like a god!” (It will be noted 
later that Ms. Ireland was cribbing from 


36 Shakespeare here, and she will admit it. . . 


By ASA BABER 


CALL ME 
NOSTRADAMUS 


shortly after she and [ return from our 
honeymoon.) 

(2) Transsexualism will become a univer- 
sal fad of great importance: By 2010, every 
human being in the civilized world will 
have undergone at least one sex change 
operation. This cultural phenomenon 
will have its downside, ofcourse, because 
you will never be able to determine the 
original sex of any person you are sleep- 
ing with unless he/she/it chooses to re- 
veal it to you. But is there an upside? 
You bet your estrogen there is. A new 
ficld called transsexual surgery will sur- 
pass plastic surgery as a lucrative carcer, 
and hormones vill replace vitamins as 
this country's favorite addiction. In a 
remarkable announcement, Jacqueline 
Nicoleson will reveal to the public that 
she was once the actor Jack Nicholson 
and that she has changed her sex ten 
times over the past decade. She will also 
make a movie called A Few Good Transsex- 
uals, in which the line “You can't handle 
the truth!" will be changed to "You can't 
handle being Ruth!" 

(3) Androids will become the favorite sexu- 
al partners of most human beings by 2015: 
Put away your inflatable dolls, boys. By 
the spring of 2015, science will have pro- 
duced the X-1 and Y-1 androids, incred- 
ible creatures whose joints and sexu- 
al components are linked by nerve and 
muscle tissue to the central processing 


unit, and whose computers can be pro- 
grammed any way you desire. Straight 
or gay, cool or hot, short or tall, your 
android will flop for you at the flip of 
a switch. Possible problems? Just two. 
First, the android software will be con- 
trolled by the infamous Microhard Cor- 
poration, which will have the ability to 
tunc in to your sexual escapades when- 
cver it chooses. Second, although no 
major news network will broadcast this 
information, some men will be immedi- 
ately emasculated by defective android 
A-drives that chew up anything you put 
into them. Larry Schiller's autobiogra- 
phy, Dickless in Denver, will expose this 
horrible scandal in bloody detail 

(4) Sex with aliens will be the fastest grow- 
ing sexual activity on Earth during the second 
half of the 21st century: Unfortunately, this 
is not necessarily good news. Notice that 
I did not say voluntary sex with aliens. 
While I do not want to alarm you, my job 
as Asa Nostradamus is to tell you the 
truth as I foresee it, and the harsh fact is 
this: Be prepared to be poked, prodded 
and butt-fucked by slimy alien creatures 
who haul you into their spacecraft on a 
beam of light and take control of your 
body and your mind. These aliens are 
after your precious bodily fluids for rea- 
sons that we do not yet completely un- 
derstand. But you can bet they will get 
what they came for unless you can think 
of a clever method of self-defense. My 
advice: When those short, gray-skinned 
motherfuckers strap you down on a lab 
table and put on their four-fingered la- 
tex gloves, start singing a country song. 
For some reason, aliens love country 
music. As long as you continue singi 
they will dance. (Keep in mind that they 
are particularly fond of the songs of 
Kinky Friedman and Hank Williams.) 
But guess what? Aliens cannot dance for 
more than a minute without dissolving 
like icicles in an oven. If you sing your 
lungs out before they collect your sperm 
sample, they will start to melt vithin the 
first few bars, soon to become a puddle 
of stinking guts and goo. Think about 
it, pardner: With the aliens dead, the 
spacecraft will be under your control. 
You can beam up anybody you choose 
and play until the cows come home. So 
do it, stud. And have yourself a happy, 
prosperous and sexy 21st century! 


bos can you make 


two months salary last forever? 


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2 


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months’ salary guideline helps you find a diamond of quality, brilliance and breathtaking 
beauty. For other tips on buying, and the 4Cs— cut, color, clarity and carat weight— consult 
your jeweler. Or call 1-800-FOREVER Dept. 31 for a free diamond buying guide. 


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spray in the face with her adrenaline fix). 
How long will this thrill ride last? The. 
Ultra 150 carries 15.3 gallons of 

fuel, good for about two hours 

of wuve jumping. The 

price: about $8000. " 


which 
Bordeaux? 
It is as good o time 
as any to assess the 
red Bordeaux of the 
Nineties. The de- 
cade started out 
with the spectacular 
1990 vintage. The 
'91s and '92s were 
underwhelming. 
The '93s ond '94s 
were better, with 
some very good 
vines, particularly 
Pomerol. The 


'95s are considered 


outstonding, the 
/96s are a notch be- 
low them and the 
early returns on the 
"975 suggest that 
they are pleosont, 
early-drinking 
wines—though they 
will be expensive. 


Don't expect your Tae-Bo training to prepare you for the advonced 
legwork of the roundhouse kick. The circular, sweeping motion of 
this martial arts technique is ideol for disarming thugs, and it con 
create on opening for a pulverizing punch. But its legwork requires 
proctice—first in front of a mirror and then with a sparring partner. 
Tip: You con use the roundhouse os a "jab" to intimidate an attack- 
er. If you're lucky, he'll mistake you for Jackie Chan ond split. 


dey...1l's personal 


39 


40 


Smells Like Summer 


Just-mown hay and fresh fruit combined with rich woods and have more feel and 
leathers are the olfactary lures of this summer's eaux de tailette and don't tarque on im- 
aftershaves. Left to right: UDV for Men mixes the scents of wood, pact. They're alsa 


musk, leather and tobacco, while Davidoft’s Good Life has a pos- 

toral essence. Joko from Lagerfeld cambines fruits with sandalwaod 
and leather to create a mysterious fragrance. Emporio Armoni's so- 
phisticated smell is derived fram sage, cedar and sandalwaod, while 
Contradictian by Calvin Klein affers spicy fruit mixed with patchouli. 


Shaft of Light 


When we asked golf 
expert and teaching 
pro Kim McCambs 
1o pul a filonium 
shaft into a King 
Cobra driver head, 
he soid, "This is 
where the titanium 
should be. It isn't so 
impartant in the 
head; it belongs in 
the shaft." Like 
graphite, Ti-shafts 
ore lightweight to 
increase club-head 
speed, but they 


consistent and accu- 
rate like steel. Ti- 
shafts are made by 
Titanium Sports Technologies (which also makes space- 
age bicycle and wheelchair frames—think maximum 
strength, minimum weight). True Temper distributes them 
through better golf shops nationwide. 


Clothesline: 
Dan Rather and 
Scott Pelley 


CBS news god Dan 
Rather (left), who is 
also a carrespondent 
an 60 Minutes Il, con- 
fides that he prefers 
10 buy suits at his lo- 
«al Sam's Club ware- 
house (a subsidiary of 
Wal-Mart) and JCPen- 
ney and says, "I'm se- 
rious about this." 
What about designers 
such as Armani and Joseph Abboud? “I'm sure 
their clothes are great, but, generally speaking, 
they're overpriced.” And far casualwear? "1 like 
Lee or Wrangler jeans and almost any kind of 
cowboy boots except snakeskin. Thase ore far 
people who are all hat and na cattle." Scott Pelley 
(below), chief White 
House correspondent 
for the CBS Evening 
News With Dan Rath- 
er, puts the opposite 
spin on his personal 
style. “My tastes run 
to Armani suits and 
Ermenegildo Zegna 
fies," he told us, “be- 
cause the suits hang 
well and the ties have 
interesting designs.” 
At home? “I wear 
Gap khakis.” 


Guys Are Talking About... 


Smart tools. New to Stanley's line of "innovative in- 
tellitools" are a stud sensor (right) that detects 
wood, metal ond live wires in twa-inch-thick walls 
vio electronic signals, o laser ultrasonic estimator 
(below) that computes a roam's square footage 
and a ruler (bottom) that gives digital and tradi- 
tional tape readings. The stud sensor and the 
ruler are about $35; the estima- 
tor is about $50. Urban time- 
sharing. The Manhattan Club at 200 
West 56th Street offers one-week perpetual ownership of 
а suite beginning at $14,990 (not including annual main- 
tenance fees). Owners can swap their units for the use 
af 3100 other properties in B5 countries. No-brainer 
translators. Type an English word into Ectaco Interna- 
tional's Universal Translator and push a button and a 
camputer voice will respond with correct pronunciation 
in one of eight languages: French, Spanish, Italian, 
Portuguese, Greek, Hebrew, Chinese or Russion. The 
translator is $150 and each language cartridge costs 
$50. Must-have watches. Rolex’ stainless steel, white- 
faced Doytono (about $5,000) is hot—as is the stainless steel, black-faced 
Paul Newman Daytona model thal goes for $10,000 to $12,000 (if you can 
find one). Additional watch words: Gold is out and 
platinum is cool. Used sports 
cars. А 1957 Morgan Plus 4in wif" 
OK shape sold recently for < 
$16,800 and a 1969 Jaguar XKE Se- 
ries И went for anly $20,580 at the same 
auction. Sports Car Market out of Portland, 
Oregon, "the complete insider's guide to collect- 
ing," tracks the prices. Plus, it lists hundreds of cars for. 
sale. A year's subscription (12 issues) is $48. 


WHERE & HOW TO BLY ON PAGE 153 


[an САЛ 
IMPORTED А 


LONDON DRY GIN DISTINCTIVELY CRISP SINCE 1830 оноон DRY GIN 


Light one up, 
let it bring out the Playboy 
in you. е 


Zesty flavor and rich aroma consistently blended 
and rolled, to enhance any setting. Wherever it is smoked. 


Playboy by Don Diego Cigars. EN 


THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR 


Can you wear a swiped tie with а 
striped shirt or suitz—A.A., New York, 
New York 

You want tough? Throw in a striped suit. 
“Tue seen a photo of Fred Astaire wearing 
three stripes, and it looks wonderful,” says 
Alan Flusser of the Alan Flusser Shop in 
New York City. “It requires a delicate touch. 
The more sophisticated the dresser, the more 
likely he'll attempt patterns together.” Most 
guys can handle mixing three solids (one col- 
or should stand out) or two solids and a pat- 
tern. Fewer can find their way with two pat- 
terns. Ideally, one should be stripes, both 
should share a color and each should have a 
different scale. "If you re wearing a suit with 
stripes that have an inch of space between 
them, choose a shirt that's more о] а pin- 
stripe," Flusser says. "If you have a striped. 
tie, make sure it's closer to the scale of your 
suit than to that of your shirt. You want to 
avoid wearing small stripes next to small 
stripes." 


Bs Gwyneth Paltrow the first actor to win 
an Academy Award for a film in which 
she appears nude?—R.T., Milwaukee, 
Wisconsin 

Far from it. According to Craig Hosoda, 
author of the Bare Facts Video Guide (408- 
249-2021), 14 other women have hared 
their breasts in films that won them an Os- 
car. But besides Paltrow, only three—Glenda 
Jackson (best actress for Women in Love, 
1971), Jane Fonda (best actress for Coming 
Home, 1979) and Holly Hunter (best actress 
for The Piano, 1994)—have shown substan- 
tial skin, While we're on the topic, three male 
actors who did scenes in which they briefly 
exposed their buns have won: Jack Lemmon 
(best actor for Save the Tiger, 1974), Geof- 
frey Rush (best actor for Shine, 1997) and 
Cuba Gooding Jr: (best supporting actor for 
Jerry Maguire, 1997). There has yet to be an 
‘Oscar-winning appearance of a penis. 


А few months ago a reader wrote to 
ask whether women enjoy giving head. 
I take issue with contention that 
women do not achieve orgasm by per- 
forming oral sex. For many years I had a 
lover whose orgasms were triggered by 
my coming in her mouth. She insisted 
that the swelling of the head of my penis 
before my orgasm triggered hers. This 
was the greatest turn-on of my life. She 
told me many times, “1 don't do this for 
you, I do it for me." 1 have been a sub- 
scriber for 40 years and wanted you to 
know this—or maybe I just wanted to re- 
Пес on it again.—5.S., Atlanta, Georgia 
You're not the first reader to disagree on 
this point. Your lover did what all great 
lovers do: She convinced you that your plea- 
sure dictated her pleasure, and youll never 
forget the impression that made. We got our- 
selves in trouble, as usual, by stating our 


case an an absolute. Certainly the rare wom- 
an does reach climax while giving head with- 
out direct stimulation, as does the rare guy. 
However, we’re not convinced it occurs as 
Frequently as claimed by those who took issue 
with our response. For starters, anyone re- 
ceiving head is hardly in a position or state 
of mind to observe his or her partner closely. 
Your lover may have consistently reached eli- 
max by placing your erection in her mouth, à 
la Deep Throat, but we bet that in most cas- 
es there were fingers, a floor, a mattress or 
thighs involved, at least momentarily. That 
said—and this is a vital point—we would 
never discourage a woman from trying to 
prove us wrong. The PLAYBOY test bedrooms 
are being remodeled, but perhaps our female 
readers would be willing to experiment with 
their partners. It's for science, 


Can you tell me how to increase the 
amount of semen 1 produce when I 
come? I have a girlfriend who wants 
more —D.C., Hartford, Connecticut 

The typical ejaculate measures about half 
a teaspoon (al least among guys who visit 
sperm banks), though it can range [rom a 
fifth of a teaspoon to two teaspoons or more. 
The only reliable way to increase volume is to 
hold off from having sex or masturbating for 
a few days. To satisfy your girlfriend, you'll 
have to make her wail. 


V am a 27-year-old married man with 
two small children. My wife and I hadn't 
been getting along, so she cut me off i 
the bedroom. I began to see prostitutes, 
telling myself I wasn't cheating because 1 
didn't get emotionally involved. 1 still 
love my wife and dor't want to hurt her. 
Everything went well at first. I was get- 
ting regular sex, which helped me stay 


ILLUSTRATION BY ISTVAN EANYAL 


calm when things got hairy at home. Be- 
cause I'm less frustrated when my wife is 
chewing me out, things have improved 
exponentially. But I still have a problem. 
1 think that I'm addicted to hookers. It's 
great to be able to get off without the 
politics, and 1 can't do it any other way 
because I'm painfully shy. Another prob- 
that Гуе met one girl who I see 

k, and I think we're developing 
a relationship. She tells me about her 
problems and we counsel each other. We 
exchange e-mail and she has even given 
me her home phone number. I don't 
want to leave my wife, and seeing my 
new friend is getting risky and expen- 
sive. But I don’t want to leave my friend 
out in the cold, either. She has told me 
what to do to smooth things out. She 
even reduced her fee so I could see her 
more often. What should 1 do?—L.M., 
San Dicgo, California 

Your wife made a mistake here, and you 
followed up with your own. Her error was to 
withhold sexual intimacy to punish you. In 
her defense, it may be the only Using she feels 
she can control in the relationship. But it 
isn't the best strategy. One sex educator ad- 
vises women, “Don't deny him sex. That de- 
prives you of pleasure. Deny him dinner. 
You don't say why your wife blows her top, 
but how much help do you provide raising 
those two kids? How about keeping the 
household running smoothly? Perhaps your 
time could be better spent. Your new friend 
1 pushing you toward a stronger mar- 
riage; she's moving you loward a new credit 
cord limit. As difficuli as it will be, you need 
to stop secing prostitutes, stay home and 
address the problems in your marriage. If 
you love your wife, arrange for professional 
counseling that includes both of you. For a 
referral, send a self-addressed, stamped en- 
velope to the American Association of Sex 
Educators, Counselors and Therapists, PO. 
Box 238. Mount Vernon. Iowa 52314. 


What is the proper way to clean a 
pewter flask? I can't get the smell of 
peach schnapps out of mine.—T.P, Des 
Moines, lowa 

Serves you right. Neutralize the odor with 
a solution of baking soda and hot water. 
Pour in the solution, shahe the flask, then let 
it soak [or a few hours. Shake it again, rinse 
and air dry. 


А friend gave me a money clip as a gift 
and I was hoping you could tell me the 
proper to use it. Do you clip over 
the folded end? How many times should 
1 fold the bills?—M.L., Ottawa, Ontario 
Fold once so that the image of the queen or 
prime minister faces outward. Slide the clip 
over the fold. Don't cram in more bills than 
Jit comfortably: an overstuffed money clip is 
a sure sign of a tightwad. We like how Leon 


43 


PLAYBOY 


44 


Hale, a columnist for the Houston Chroni- 
cle, once described the proper use of a clip: 
“The way a gentleman pulls out his money in 
public is an indicator of how sophisticated he 
is, how organized and cool. The last time I 
was at the airport Twatched a guy step out of 
a taxi, and he was so cool. Watch the way 
hie pays the cabdriver: He sels his briefcase 
down; left hand goes in side pocket; brings 
out cash in money clip. Quickly he peels off 
three bills—flip, flip, flip—and hands them 
1o the driver and makes a small gesture that 
says, "Keep the change.’ He didn't even look 
at the bills. which says he knew the denomi- 
nations of the first three. Amazing. Is it pos- 
sible the guy is so organized he arranges the 
money in his clip so the right bills will always 
be on top?" That, or he carries only tens. 


Ё have been seeing the term “tantric 
sex” lately and have to plead ignorance. 
(Or is it innocence?) Quick description, 
please?—D.P, Omaha, Nebraska 

Tantra is a spiritual movement that views 
prolonged, ritualistic sexual pleasure as a 
path to the divine. y can't more religions 
be like that? It dates from about the sixth 
century, when it arose within both Hinduism 
and Buddhism. To extend lovemaking. male 
tantrists teach themselves to withhold ejacu- 
lation during climax, which allows them to 
maintain their erections, The method takes 
practice and is accomplished by pressing a 
point along the perineum or through superi- 
or muscle control. Interlocked couples also 
typically gaze into each other's eyes, search- 
ing for enlightenment (they may not find it, 
but eye contact can be an incredible turn- 
on). In the West, the word tantra has come to 
describe any type of meditative sexuality, es- 
pecially among marketers, but traditional 
tantra covers a wider range of beliefs and 
rituals. You'll find an introduction online at 
the Church of Tantra (tantra.org). There, 
Swami Nostradamus Virato introduces tan- 
tra this way: “There is a most beautiful word 
for sex in the Sanskrit language, and that is 
Kama, which means sex and love indivisible. 
Almost everyone is familiar with the Kama 
Sutra, a tantric treatise on lovemaking. Ka- 
ma is also the name of the Hindu goddess of 
love. And love is what tantra encourages— 
total unconditional love, including the 
mind, the spirit and the body. In tantra, the 
orgasm is with the universe.” Talk about a 
big bang. 


IM, girlfriend and I plan to marry this 
fall. She would like to take my last name. 
I want her to keep her own last name. 
She says she doesn't understand why I 
am so insistent, since having different 
surnames will cause problems with fi- 
| paperwork and when we have 
children. 1 don't see why a woman 
should have to give up her family name, 
and I'd rather have an cqual partner- 
ship than a patriarchal one. What should 
1do?—T$., Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 
Let your fiancée decide what to call her- 
self She may prefer one name because it’s 


symbolic of a new family being forged. Many 
people feel, as you do, that separate names 
acknowledge the independence of each pari- 
ner. You could combine names (we have 
friends, McCord and Silverman, who be- 
came McSilver) or use both (Johnson and 
Turner becomes Johnson-Turner). Hyphen- 
ated names are unwieldy, however, and you 
still have to decide which name comes first. 
Some women shift their maiden names to the 
middle, e.g., Hillary Rodham Clinton. Per- 
haps your fiancée would consider that, and 
you could be satisfied that she’s honoring her 
heritage. Don't make an issue of this. The 
name she puts on her checks will have noth- 
ing to do with whether your marriage suffers 
from patriarchy, 


ast week, 1 hired an escort. When she 
arrived at my place, she said she would 
dance nude and touch herself, but that 
we couldn't have intercourse because 
she was a Catholic and wanted to remain 
a virgin until she was married. That's a 
new one. Perhaps PLAYBOY could do a 
pictorial featuring virgin adult entertain- 
ете В.М. Las Vegas, Nevada 
Turned you on, didn't ii? 


What is the advantage of an advanced 
photo system camera over one that uses 
35mm film? The only advantage | see is 
that you can shoot wide-angle photos. 
The disadvantage is that the film and de- 
veloping cost about 15 percent more.— 
R.K., Vacaville, California 

APS film and processing cost more, but for 
the point-and-click set, it's often love at first 
sight. As you know, APS cameras don’t re- 
quire you to thread the film; you drop the 
cassette into the camera case and it loads au- 
tomatically. You can switch within the same 
roll between three print sizes—standard, 
wide and panoramic, High-end APS cam- 
eras allow you to remove the cartridge before 
you finish the roll without damaging the 
shots you've tahen (i.e., you can switch from 
color to black-and-white film, then back). 
Because the negatives are stored within the 
cartridge after processing, each developed 
roll comes with an index sheet. Depending 
on how many photos you take, storing hand- 
fuls of cartridges and keeping each with its 
index sheet can become a hassle. On the up- 
side, APS film contains a magnetic strip that 
can record information about each photo— 
everything from event names to the light 
source to how many prints you'd like. The 
latest cameras have zoom lenses, and scan- 
ners are available that create digital reprints 
from developed cartridges. APS cameras 
can't use standard 35mm film, so stock up if 
you're traveling to any place exotic. 


П have tried in vain to explain to my girl- 
friend that we are not friends. I've also 
had more than one conversation with 
others who don't agree that a parent is 
not his or her child's friend. While cle- 
ments of friendship might be present in 
these relationships, calling each other 


friends isn't accurate. I believe my view 
logical, while others are using their 
emotions. They see not being "friends" 
as horrible, wl I view it as it should 
be: something better and deeper. I'm ei- 
ther not explaining it well enough, or 
I'm wrong. Help!—K.P, Lancaster, Ohio 

Are you expecting to get laid anytime soon, 
Mr. Spock? We see your point, but you're be- 
laboring it. Lovers, as well as children and 
their parents, are more than friends. But a 
relationship that isn't built on the combina- 
tion of loyalty, respect and empathy common- 
ly described as friendship isn't going am 
where. While you and your girlfriend aren 
Just friends, you also aren't just lovers. 


V have developed an unusual fetish: 1 
love to have my hair cut. I thought I was 
the only one until I discovered websites 
such My Beautiful Barbereue. 1 also 
saw a film called The Hairdresser's Hus- 
band, which explores this theme. I find 
haircuts an erotic experience, especially 
when electric clippers are used to get 
close to the scalp. I rarely get an erection 
in the barber's chair, but I almost always 
urbate when I get home. I suppose 
this is a "true" fetish in that it's the expe- 
rience itself that arouses me rather than 
the attractiveness or even the gender of 
the barber. I remember hating haircuts 
as a child, and it wasn't until I was in the 
military and getting frequent buzz cuts 
that it turned me on. Perhaps it makes 
me feel more manly or vi What does 
the Advisor thi bout all this?—B.P, 
San Diego, California 

We never have a sexual thought—not 
one—when Fat Charley cuts our hair. His 
assistant, however—her shampoo massage 
could go on forever. We've heard from guys 
who fantasize about bald women (“naked 
from the neck up.” as they say), but never 
from anyone who gets turned on from sitting 
in the chair: It's net surprising that you find 
the experience arousing; the scalp is over- 
looked as an erogenous zone (try massaging 
your lover's head, or rubbing her вай; and. 
gauge her response). If a haircut is the only 
way you can gel turned on, you have a true 
fetish. That's not healthy, or much fun. May 
you never suffer from male pattern baldness. 


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n the PBS series Prime Suspect, 
Helen Mirren, playing detec- 
we tive Jane Tennison, walks into 
an interrogation room and turns on 
the recording machine; to her, it's 
second nature. Before she asks the 
first question, she takes the step nec- 
essary to memorialize the confession. 
Compare the English procedure 
with what we see on American tele- 
vision. In recent years interrogation 
has become a favorite dramatic device 
for cop shows such as NYPD 
Blue. The battle of wills has 
familiarized us with the fine 
points of interrogation: the 
pressure of good cop-bad cop 
routines, the isolation of the 
suspect, the power of accusa- 
tion, the pitting of one criminal 
against another, the lies, the 
bluffs, the intimidation—not to 
mention the occasional vio- 
lence. This is the stuff of great 
ratings. In almost every con- 
frontation, confession is offered 
as the only way out, a catharsi 

Real life is not so tidy. Profes- 
sors Richard Leo and Richard 
Ofshe studied 60 police-in- 
duced false confessions and 
came up with this conclusion: 
"In a criminal justice system 
whose formal rules are de- 
signed to minimize the fre- 
quency of unwarranted arrest, un- 
justified prosecution and wrongful 
conviction, police-induced false con- 
fession ranks among the most fateful 
of all official errors." 

Why would someone confess to 
a crime he didn't commit? Leo and 
Ofshe argue that the techniques of 
psychological interrogation have pro- 
gressed to the point where it is easy to 
force innocent parties to confess. 

* In 1990 police in Austin, Texas 
administered two lie detector tests to 
Billy Gene Davis. After failing both, 
he finally confessed to killing his ex- 
girlfriend. She later turned up alive. 

ө 10 1987 Los Angeles police got 
Ruben Trujillo and Pedro Delvillar to 
confess to the same double murder 
and robbery. Both were in police cus- 
tody at the time of the crime. 

*1n 1991 sheriff's deputies in Phoe- 


crime, cops en te 
By JAMES R. PETERSEN 


nix interrogated Leo Bruce, Mark 
Nunez and Dante Parker for some 21 
hours, during which time the men 
confessed to the mass murder of nine 
people at a Buddhist temple. Police 
later found a riflc and traced it to the 
actual killers. 

A confession is "universally treated 
as damning and compelling evidence 
of guilt," say Leo and Ofshe. "It is 
likely to dominate all other case evi- 
dence and lead a trier of fact to con- 


vict the defendant." 


And the odds of. 
correcting an injustice are slim. Police 
and prosecutors are not inclined to 
reopen or investigate further a case 
that has been solved. 

Cary Cauger was sentenced to die 
for the 1993 murder of his parents. 
He found his father's body on the 
floor of the family's motorcycle shop 
His mother lay dead in a nearby trail- 
er. Police thought Gauger's response 
was suspicious (he seemed too calm). 
They took him to the station and in- 
terrogated him for 18 hours. During 
the night, police told him they found 
evidence proving he was the killer. 
(They were lying.) 

Gauger was a recovering alcohol- 
ic. Police suggested to him that he 
had committed the murders during a 
blackout. He took a polygraph exam, 
which he was told he failed. (Again, 


d EORFaSSIEN? 


ZERO RE 


they were lying.) Finally they asked 
Gauger to imagine a hypothetical sit- 
uation—if he had killed his parents, 
how might the crime have happened? 
Gauger gave it a try, but the details of 
his “confession” did not match the de- 
tails of the crime. 

Although no physical evidence con- 
nected Gauger to the killings, prose- 
cutors told the jury that he had con- 
fessed. He was found guilty. Three 
years later, his conviction was over- 
turned. Wiretaps in a federal 
investigation of a Midwestern 
motorcycle gang indicated that 
two members bad committed 
the murders during a robbery. 

In Illinois, police may have 
reason to avoid taping inter- 
rogations. No fewer than ten 
prisoners on death row insist 
they were tortured by former 
Chicago Police Commander 
Jon Burge. The Chicago Police 
Board dismissed Burge after 
investigators identified 50 peo- 
ple who said they'd been elec- 
troshocked, suffocated, kicked 
or beaten during the course of 
interrogation. Chicago Tribune 
columnist Eric Zorn described 
some of the forced confessions 
that put men on death row. 
Ronald Kitchen's conviction for 
a 1988 quintuple homicide was 
"based on the hearsay of a jailhouse 
snitch and the results of a Burgian in- 
terrogation that left him with severe 
injuries to his genitals." Leroy Or- 
ange confessed to a 1984 quadruple 
slaying after police placed electrodes 
on him and also attempted to suffo- 
cate him. 

Two states, Alaska and Minnesota, 
require that officers record interroga- 
tions. According to a report in The 
New York Times, some 2400 sheriff's 
and police departments across Amer- 
ica use audiotape and videotape dur- 
ing investigations and confessions. 
Studies indicate that these measures 
actually help the judicial process— 
they can prevent defense attorneys 
from speculating about police mis- 
conduct. This should be the law of the 
land, as simple as throwing a switch 
on the wall. 


45 


46 


but mostly well-off, neighborhood 
on the South Side. Every week I 
read the police blotter in the neighbor- 
hood paper and breathe a sigh of relief 
when the crimes at gunpoint—there 
are always crimes at gunpoint—hap- 
pen on someone else's block. No mat- 
ter how many illegal guns the police 
seize, thousands more keep pouring in. 
The city of Chi- 
cago banned hand- 
guns in 1982, yet 
the city has become 
the murder capital 
of America. Since 
1965, handguns 


| live in Chicago in a mixed-income, 


1998 alone, 536 
of the 700 people 
killed in Chicago 
died from bullet 
wounds, 

Determined to 
find out how deal- 
ers were funneling 
thousands of guns 
to Chicago street 
gangs and other 
criminals, Mayor 
ichard M. Daley 
sent undercover 
officers on a gun 
buying spree in sub- 
urban towns. One 
policeman wore camouflage fatigues, 
complete with a knife on his belt. One 
couple aped outlaw bikers and three 
donned gang colors and demeanors. 
The undercover officers conducted 
business at gun stores just beyond the 
city line, making no bones about the 
jobs they hoped their new guns would 
perform. One ostensible gang member 
asked for a gun that would “protect my 
spot” and that wouldn't “hang up on 
me in the heat of battle.” 

Another man posing as a gangbang- 
er picked out twin 9mm pistols then 
told the clerk he wanted to settle up 
with the creep who ratted him out. 
Obliging store clerks proffered the best 
hardware, from gel-impregnated bul- 
lets guaranteed not to "hit a little girl 
on the next block" to huge guns and 
shells that would "go through car 
doors and everything." The clerks split 


= DEADLY TRAFFIC Es 


kill thy neighbor 
By TED C. FISHMAN 


up orders to circumvent government 
registration requirements. One clerk 
backdated receipts, skirting the man- 
datory waiting period and allowing the 
biker couple to take immediate deliv- 
ery of six semiautomatics. Guns that 
can be sold only to license holders were 
sold to customers without the official 
paperwork. In two months, the un- 
dercover officers bought 171 guns for 


LOW HOURLY RATES! 
DAILY RATE DISCOUNTS | 


$65,000. That included such super- 
stars of destruction as AK-47s and Uzis, 
as well as guns with laser scopes 

The investigation uncovered one 
shop, in a suburb with a population of 
only 14,000, that had sold 6500 guns 
that were later confiscated by Chicago 
police after being used in crimes. 

Based on its investigati 
filed a $433 million suit against 38 gun 
manufacturers, ributors and shops 
for pursuing sales and marketing strat- 
egies that intentionally target Chicago. 
The suit relies in part on public nui- 
sance laws that are more commonly 
marshaled against polluters who ruin 
the environment of nearby localities. 
The city argues that, like upriver toxic 
sludge, the flow of illegal handguns 
from outside the city creates a dead- 
ly environment. The $433 million is 
meant to recover the costs gun violence 


has wrought on the that is obliged 
to police the streets and treat the vic- 
tims of violence in public hospitals. The 
suit also aims to force the gun industry 
to be more watchful. 

Adanta, New Orleans and Bridge- 
port, Connecticut have adopted Da- 
ley's legal tactics in their own crusades 
against handguns. Taking a somewhat 
different tack, those three cities argue 
that gunmakers 
ought to be legal- 
ly bound to make 
their products safer. 
City attorneys have 
filed lawsuits that 
cite the availabili- 
ty of smart technol- 
ogy (e.g., trigger 
locks) that would 
prevent anyone 
but the rightful us- 
er from firing the 
weapon, thereby 
protecting kids 
from gunshot acci- 
dents and thwart 
ing criminals who 
find the guns. 

In a recent fed- 
eral suit in Brook- 
lyn brought against 
the gun industry 
by shooting victims’ 
families and one 
survivor, the jury 
found gunmakers negligent in their 
sales practices and liable in two fatal 
shootings. One statistic that swayed the 
jury was that 90 percent of all guns 
used in New York City crimes come 
from outside the state, and that many 
of those were bought new. Further, a 
study by National Economie Research 
Associates found that 20 percent of the 
handguns sold nationwide are used in 
crimes within four years. 

More suits are in the works. By this 
fall as many as 50 other cities will join 
the legal coalition against handguns. 
Only a national effort can make much 
difference in the way guns are distrib- 
uted; guns move nearly as easily from 
state to state as they do from suburb to 
city. NERA determined that states with 
lax gun laws—mostly those in the 
Southeast—ring up sales far out of pro- 
portion to local demand. 


ling. Chicago cops posing as mem- 

bers of drug gangs, visiting gun 
shops, hauling away handguns by the 
bushel, filling the air with bullshit and 
badass posturing. 

Would you have been swayed if the 
cops had posed as Bill Cosby, Cybill 
Shepherd, Dianne Feinstein, Howard 
Stern, Donald Trump, William F. Buck- 
ley, Laurance Rockefeller, Tom Selleck, 
Robert De Niro and Erika Schwarz 
(first runner-up in the 1996 Miss 
America Pageant)? These are just a 
few of the Americans who have ap- 
plied for concealed handgun permits 

Would you have been swayed by a 
woman who described pulling a hand- 
gun out to deter a rape? Or by a man 
who described an attempted carjack- 
ing in which the would-be perpetra- 
tor gave up when the driver pulled 
out his handgun? 

The Chicago story captured our 
imagination and caused outrage be- 
cause the guns purchased by under- 
cover cops seemed destined for crim- 
inal use. But if 20 percent of guns 
sold in one year are used in crimes. 
what of the other 80 percent? 

It is almost impossible to depict the 
impact and effect of normal gun own- 
ership, although the National Rifle 
Association certainly tries. No single 
profile covers the collectors, hunters, 
target shooters, libertarians, mock 
militias, creative anachronism groups 
and frightened citizens who keep a 
gun. There are as many reasoris to own 
a gun as there are guns. 

Handguns, for most Americans, rep- 
resent a means of self-defense—one 
that is largely silent. One reassuring 
statistic reports that in 98 percent of 
the 's where a handgun is used to 
prevent a criminal act, it is not fired. 

But it is possible to measure the ef- 
fect of those millions of legal weapons. 

University of Chicago law and eco- 
nomics fellow John Lott Jr. has ener- 
gized the gun debate with some star- 
tling research, published last year in a 
book with the counterintuitive title 
More Guns, Less Crime. Surveying crime 
statistics for 3054 U.S. counties, Lott 
found that most obstacles to gun own- 
ership do nothing to lower crime rates. 
“Violent crime rates were highest in 


N ure, the videotapes were compel- 


ШЕКШИП 
GUNS R US 


not so fast, guys 


By JAMES R. PETERSEN 


states with the most restrictive rules, 
next highest in the states that allowed 
local authorities discretion in granting 
permits and lowest in states with non- 
discretionary rules." The difference is 
most striking for murder: “States that 
ban the concealed carrying of guns 
have murder rates 127 percent higher 
than states with the most liberal con- 
cealed carry laws 

Put another way, if states had rewrit- 


JOHN LOTT 
FOUND THAT 
MOST OBSTA- 
CLES TO GUN 
OWNERSHIP 
DO NOTHING 
TO LOWER 


CRIME RATES. 


te cod 
ten their handgun laws and issued 
handgun permits right and left, Lou 
estimates "murders in the U.S. would 
have declined by about 1400. The 
number of rapes would have declined 
by 4200, aggravated assaults by 60,000 
and robberies by 19,000." 

There is a halo effect—citizens who 
don't carry guns can benefit from an 
armed citizenry. Criminals fear gun 
owners and potential gun owners. Ac- 
cording to Lott, in countries where cit- 
izens have little or no access to guns 
(the UK and Canada), almost half of 
all burglaries are "hot burglaries," in 
which the criminal enters the house 
while the resident is at home. In the 
U.S., 76 million people are armed with 
an estimated 150 million to 200 n 
guns and the hot burglary rate is 13 
percent. 

Yes, guns are used to commit crimes 


of violence—though people are more 
inclined to use them against themselves 
(18,503 suicides in 1995) than against 
others (13,790 homicides and 616 justi- 
fiable homicides in the same year). In 
contrast, polls estimate that guns are 
used defensively from 760,000 to 3.6 
million times a year. The cops are not. 
always there to protect you, but your 
handgun is. 

Lott points out that there are far 
fewer accidental deaths than antigun 
politicians would have us believe. In 
1995, 233 citizens died in handgun 
accidents. Citizens using guns in self- 
defense accidentally kill about 30 
people each year, believing them to 
be intruders. In contrast, cops kill up 
to 330 innocent individuals annually. 

Lott forces one to reconsider the 
favorite claims of gun control advo- 
cates. Sarah Brady used to boast that 
the background check bill named for 
her husband had “helped kecp morc 
than 100,000 felons and other pro- 
hibited purchasers from buying 
handguns.” In 1996 a report from 
the General Accounting Office indi- 
cated that “initial rejections based on 
background checks numbered about 
50,000, of which over half were for 
technical reasons, mostly paperwork 
errors that were eventually corrected. 
A much smaller number of rejections 
(3000) was the result of convictions 
for violent crimes. By the time the 

background check provision was found 
то be unconstitutional in June 1997, 
only four people had gone to jail for 
violations." 

The attempt to force manufacturers 
to install gun safety locks is as simple- 
minded as forcing air bags on all Amer- 
icans to make up for those who forget 
to buckle up. The lawsuits that try to 
recover damages from gun manufac- 
turers for producing lethal products 
are equally absurd. Try stopping a car- 
jacker with your finger. Mayor Daley's 
lawsuit shows the failure of prohibi- 
tion. Gun laws did not make Chicago 
safer, they just forced citizens (both 
law-abiding and criminal) to travel out- 
side of the city to buy secu 

The pollution metaphor is catchy 
and may well work on gullible jurors, 


but it shifts the blame from killers to 
corporations. 


47 


48 


E 


R 


WAR ON DRUGS 


The 19th century German 
philosopher Arthur Schopen- 
hauer once s 'All truth pass- 
es through three stages. First, it 
is ridiculed. Second, it is vio- 
lently opposed. Third, it is ac- 
cepted as self-evident.” 

It appears that in the war on 
drugs, America is in the throes 
of stage two. 

After reading April's Playboy 
Forum, one can hardly identify a 
more misguided public policy 
than the federal government's 
war on marijuana smokers. It'« 
hard to imagine what it will 
take to close the chasm between 
the mores of responsible mari- 
juana users and the antiquat- 
ed, wasteful and mean-spirited 
laws most politicians favor. 

Since 1970, the National Or- 
ganization for the Reform of 
Marijuana Laws has led the 
charge to end marijuana prohi- 
bition. The time is right, again, 
for citizens who believe prohi- 
bition is unworkable to act. Our 
message is clear: Stop arresting 
marijuana smokers. 

Allen St. Pierre 
Executive Director 
NORML Foundation 
Washington, D.C. 


‘Twenty-two years ago your 
magazine was among the first 
national publications to report 
my success in obtaining legal 


FOR THE RECORD. 


NET LOSS 


"You already have zero privacy—get over it." 


uals who can benefit 
from this substance will contin- 
ue to rally around any possible 
solution. We owe it to them to 
provide safe and controlled ac- 
cess to this drug." 

The federal government's 
behavior concerning medical 
marijuana has been scandalous. 
Federal officials know marijua- 
na can help many who suffer 
from life- and sense-threaten- 
ing disorders, but they are will- 
ing to let those people suffer. 
Why? Because for 60 years the 
government has lied about mar- 
ijuana's medical utility 

Lies beget more lies and, like 
a house of cards, the entire fed- 
eral policy could collapse if 
someone were 10 tell the truth 
about marijuana. It's hard 
work to untangle a lie. "It's not 
my job,” say the pensioned bu- 
reaucrats. Ánd then there's the 
money. The Forum's “Drug War 
Scrapbook” (April) reveals just 
how much is being squandered 
to maintain the war on drugs. 
You can understand why there 
is little bureaucratic incentive 
to do anything that might upset 
this very rich gravy boat. 
Robert Randall 
Sarasota, Florida 


—Scott McNealy, chairman of Sun Microsys- 


tems, in response to the charge by privacy 
groups that computers and the Internet are 


eroding personal freedoms. 


As co-founders of Patients 
Out of Time, a nonprofit or- 
ganization dedicated to reinsti- 
tuting cannabis as a legitimate 


access to marijuana for medi- 

cal purposes ("Glaucoma and the Kill- 
er Weed," The Playboy Forum, March 
1977). At the time I was the only citizen 
in the country using Uncle Sam's mari- 
juana to treat a serious illness. Naive- 
ly, I believed that compassion would 
prevail. Along with my partner, Alice 
O'Leary, I began a 20-ycar odyssey to 
help others legally obtain this often 
critical medication. 

Longtime Forum readers will recall 
the victories of the late Seventies and 
early Eighties, when 36 states enacted 
laws recognizing marijuana's medical 
value. Some may remember the ardu- 
ous court battle of the Eighties that re- 
sulted in the chief administrative law 
judge of the Drug Enforcement Ad- 
ministration declaring that “the over- 
whelming preponderance of evidence 
in this record establishes that marijua- 


na has a currently accepted medical 
use in treatment." Then, as today, the 
reaction of the federal government was 
denial and obfuscation. For two decades 
it has thwarted the will of the people 
with respect 10 controlled, medical ac- 
cess to marijuana. 

Lyn Nofziger, former deputy chair- 
man of the Republican National Com- 
mittee, put it succinctly in the foreword 
of our book Marijuana Rx: The Patients" 
Fight for Medical Pol: "Marijuana clearly 
has medicinal value. Thousands of seri- 
ously ill Americans have been able to 
determine that for themselves, albe- 
it illegally. Like my own family, these 
individuals did not wish to break the 
law, but they had no other choice. The 
medical marijuana issue calls out for 
responsible, honest leadership at the 
federal level. Until that time, seriously 


medicine, we have worked with 
hundreds of patients over the past 20 
years. Some have been helped by mod- 
ern medicine, including the father of 
the DEA agent who wrote to you in 
March, but others have not. The agent 
is mistaken in assuming that what 
worked for his father will work for ev- 
cryonc. His declaration that marijuana 
is a “regressive” drug is also misguided. 
The poppy plant, and even drugs like 
aspirin, is not always replaceable with 
newer medicine. As a DEA agent, he 
must be aware that marijuana can be 
ingested or applied topically in addi- 
tion to being smoked 
We suspect that what really troubles 
the agent is his perception of marijua- 
na as nothing more than a harmful, il- 
legal drug. We're confident that fur- 
ther studies of medical marijuana, such 
as the Institute of Medicine study that 


R E S 


P O 


N S E 


was commissioned by the White House 
Office of National Drug Control Policy, 
will reveal its benefits and help end the 
hysteria that surrounds the issue. 

The medical marijuana initiatives re- 
cently passed in five states have moved 
our organization to co-sponsor the 
First National Clinical Conference on 
Cannabis Therapeutics, to be held 
April 7-8, 2000. The University of lo- 
wa's colleges of nursing and medicine 
will also sponsor and host the event. 
We invite all health care professionals 
to attend this accredited conference, 
and of course the DEA and its agents 
are welcome and expected. 

Mary Lynn Mathre 
Al Byrne 
Charlottesville, Virginia 

The Institute of Medicine study, released 
on March 17, lends support for certain 
medical uses of marijuana. The report says 
that for people suffering from symptoms of 
the late stages of AIDS and cancer, marijua- 
na may be among the most effective treat- 
ments. While the report also points out the 
medical risks of smoking marijuana, il notes 
that "for certam patients such as the term- 
nally ill or those with debilitating symptoms, 
the long-term risks are of no great concern.” 
The investigators suggest that the future of 
medical marijuana lies in the development 
of synthetic cannabinoids and smokeless de- 
livery systems such as inhalers. Predictably, 
drug czar Barry McCaffrey called for more 


research, 


I read the "Drug War Scrapbook" 
with great interest. As a DEA chemist 
for more than five years, 1 never total- 
ly believed that marijuana should be 
ranked up there with cocaine and her- 
oin. The drug war certainly earmarks 
some of its funds in the wrong places. 
But what do you propose: legalization 
of all drugs or just marijuana? At a 
time when cigarettes are taking it on 
the chin, how can anyone condone the 
smoking of any unfiltered plant? The 
most glaring aspect of the article, 
which shows an utter lack of rescarch 
by your staff, is that DEA stands for the 
Drug Enforcement Administration, not 
Agency, an egregious error. Nice try to 
gain some credibility with me. I'd like 
to read PLAYBOY for the articles but with 
such drivel as this, it's hard to look at 
more than the nudie pics. 

David Floyd 
Eugene, Oregon 

You're right, it's Administration, not 

Agency. The point of our Drug War Serap- 


book wasn't to debate legalization, but rather 
to point out the police state that is developing 
behind the government's campaign to pun- 
ish drug users. Many need medical treat- 
ment; instead, they receive jail terms. And 
while cigarettes may be “taking it on the 
chin,” no one goes to prison for selling them. 


DEATH ROW DEBATE 

On January 28 Missouri Governor 
Mel Carnahan commuted the death 
sentence of Darrell Mease at the re- 
quest of Pope John Paul IL. As a M 
souri death row inmate, I applaud this 
action, but it also troubles me. Con- 
demned inmates should not live or die 
based solely on whether their exec 
tion date coincides with a papal visi 


Mease's pardon sets a troubling prece- 
dent. His sentence was commuted as a 
display of mercy rather than on legal 
grounds. When will others receive such 
mercy? I fear it is too late for two of my 


FORUM F.Y.l. 


BIG BROTHER 15 WATCHING 


The Federal Deposit Insurance Corp.'s Know 
Your Customer plan, which required banks to 
report even rouüne customer transactions to au- 
thorities, didn't score big with the public. But it 
did garner the Big Brother Award for the Most 
Invasive Proposal. 
This past April, the human rights group Pri- 
vacy International presented its first Big 

Brother Awards (pictured at left) to ine 
uals and institutions that have done the 


fellow inmates, James Rodden, who is 
scheduled for execution just hours af- 
ter I write this, and Roy Roberts, who I 
expect will die on March 10. 

Michael Worthington 

Potosi Correctional Center 

Mineral Point, Missouri 

James Rodden was executed on February 

24, and Roy Roberts on March 10. Roberts" 
case again highlights the disparity in treat- 
ment of death row inmates. Roberts was 
found guilty of capital murder for holding 
doum a prison guard in 1983 during a 
prison riot, while two other inmates stabbed 
the man to death. Though prosecutors ad- 
mitted that Roberts did not stab the guard, 
he was sentenced to die by lethal injection. 
Neither of the two inmates who killed the 
guard are on death row (one received a life 
sentence; the other is awaiting a new trial). 
Furthermore, even Roberts’ limited role in 
the killing was in dispute. The initial inves- 
ligation did not name Roberts as one of the 


most 10 invade personal privacy in 
the United States. The judging 
panel included civil rights 
activists, journalists, lawyers 
and academics. In addition 
to the FDIC, winners includ- 
ed Microsoft, for its Win- 
dows 98 “registration wiz- 
ard," which acquires ID 
numbers to PCs and 
transmits them back 
to the company, and 
the Massachuseus 
marketing firm El- 
ensys, which ob- 
tained prescription 
drug records from 
pharmacies without 
customers’ permi 
sion, then used the in- 
formation for marketing. 
The FBI, meanwhile, re- 
ceived the Lifetime Menace award. 


49 


50 


perpetrators, and an internal report con- 
cluded that the killers might never be identi- 
fied. According to the news reports, the state 
had no physical evidence linking Roberts to 
the crime, and he passed a lie detector test 
just weeks before he was executed. By con- 
trast, Meuse, whose execution was commuted 
by Governor Carnahan at the bequest of the 
Pope, murdered the disabled teenage grand- 
son of his narcotics partner. He also killed 
the partner and his wife but wasn't tried for 
those crimes. You are right to be troubled by 
your governor's sense of justice. 


Thank you for the informative let- 
ters about. wrongful convictions and 
the death penalty in the April Forum. 
Northwestern University professor 
David Protess noted that nine prison- 
ers have been released from death row 
in Illinois, while 11 have been execut- 
ed. Since that letter was published, two 
more men have been freed from Illi- 
nois' death row. Protess and his jour- 
nalism students—who helped free two 
death row inmates in 1997—were again 
responsible for saving one of these 


FOUL CALLED 

In June 1986 1 was tlie subject 
of the Playboy Interview. In the in- 
terview, I suggested that Thomas 
Jefferson and George Washing- 
ton had fathered children with 
slave women on their respective 
plantations. I based my opinion 
on black oral history dating from 
the time these births occurred. At 
the time, PLAYBOY added a par- 
enthetical statement that history 
had “concluded there were no 
such children.” DNA evidence 
has since linked Jefferson to at 
least one of Sally Hemmings’ 
children. Another person claim- 
ing to be a descendant of Wash- 
ington's is secking DNA material 
to substantiate a similar claim. 

PLAYBOY should set the record 
straight on these issues. The 
truth is the only thing that will 
enable all Americans to move 
past a painful aspect of U.S. his- 
tory that has been denied or 
buried by white historians and 
publishers. This denial is best ex- 
emplified by what Mary Chest- 
nut, the wife of a Confederate 
military commandant in Charles- 
ton during the Civil War, wrote. 
in her diary during March 1861: 
"God forgive us but ours is a 


lives. This time, the benefactor was An- 
thony Porter. who at one point was 48 
hours from being wrongfully executed 
These cases underscore a point that 
is often missed in discussions of the 
death penalty—that the concept is en- 
tirely separate from the actual practice. 
Remove emotion and look at the issue 
pragmatically; it becomes clear that 
morally, economically and socially, the 
death penalty is bad public policy. 1 
hope it doesn't take the execution of 
an innocent man to prompt important 
changes in the system. 
Abraham Bonowitz 
Citizens United for Alternatives to 
the Death Penalty 
Tequesta, Florida 


We would like to hear your point of view. 
Send questions, opinions and quirky stuff 
10: The Playboy Forum Reader Response, 
PLAYBOY, 680 North Lake Shore Drive, 
Chicago, Illinois 60611. Please include a 
daytime phone number. Fax number: 312- 
951-2939. E-mail: forum@playboy.com 
(please include your city and state). 


monstrous system, a wrong and 
an iniquity! Like the patriarchs 
of old, our men live all in one 
house with their wives and con- 
cubines; and the mulattoes one 
sees in every family resemble the 
white children. Any lady is ready 
to tell you who is the father of 
all the mulatto children in ev- 
erybody's household but her 
own. Those, she seems to think, 
dropped from the clouds." 

As this letter is being written, 
no response has been heard from 
Washington's estate. I am anx- 
iously waiting to see if this issue 
will be settled once and for all. 

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar 
Los Angeles, California 

Science has a way of making fools 
of us all. The DNA evidence you re- 
Jer to in Jefferson's case was pub- 
lished last fall in the British science 
journal Nature. In January one of 
the study's co-authors clarified that 
the research indicates conclusiuely 
only that a member of the Jefferson 
family —perhaps not the president— 
‘fathered Hemmings’ youngest child. 
That aside, it’s long past time we shed 
the hypocrisy that continues to taint 


it’s 
everywhere. 
why? 


e first noticed herpes mak- 
ing a media comeback al- 
most one year ago, vhen 


our Fditorial Department received 
three story suggestions in a single 
day. Freelance writers wanted to dis- 
cuss the forgotten epidemic, the sha- 
dow epidemic, the silent epidemic, 
the "other" STD. 

Suddenly it seemed like every oth- 
er ad on MTV and ҮНІ showed a 
couple running in slow motion to- 
ward each other, mimicking the old 
Clairol shampoo ads that suggested 
“the closer he gets, the better you 
look." Except that these ads promot- 
ed a new antiviral drug and onc of 
the lovers was presumably infected 
with herpes. 

Clearly, we are having another 
herpes moment. The disease hasn't 
changed in 2000 years, but our per- 
ception of it has. One STD expert. 
Dr. Karl Beutner, says, "In the Sev- 
enties and Fighties we told people 
that herpes was rare, very serious, 
and that you could transmit it only 
during an outbreak. Now we're tell- 
ing people it’s incredibly common, 
not that serious, and that you can 
pass it on even when you are not 
having an outbreak.” 

The disease, it turns out, can be as 
nonintrusive as a suntan. “Roughly 
90 percent of those who carry the 
virus are unaware they have it,” says 
Dr. Beutner, an associate professor of 
dermatology at the University of Cal- 
ifornia-San Francisco. 

"The most recent media twitch can 
be traced to two events: (1) re- 
scarchers have developed a new di- 
agnostic test for herpes and (2) the 
first line of defense against herpes, 
acyclovir, went off patent. Facing 
competition from generic (cheaper) 
products, pharmaceutical companies 
have developed new treatments. 

In October 1997, The New England 
Journal of Medicine published a sur- 
vey by the Centers for Discase Con- 
trol that showed alarming increas- 
es in the prevalence of herpes 
Researchers found that seven out of 
ten Americans had been infected by 
HSV-1 (the virus that produces cold 
sores on the mouth) and that one in 
five have had contact with HSV-2 
(the virus that infects the genitals). 
With an estimated 45 million Ameri- 
cans over the age of 12 carrying the 


И, MINEN 


HSV-2 virus, herpes was fast becoming 
the most common sexually transmitted 
disease. 

Herpes, spread by indifference, ig- 
norance, apathy or denial, was itself 
a victim of neglect. "While the CDC 
spends over $100 million to prevent 
and treat syphilis, gonorrhea and chla- 
mydia," The New York Times noted, "her- 
pes gets almost no funding." 

In modern times, VD is about mon- 
ey, not morals. Which brings us to the 
second factor in the current me: 
blitz. In late 1997, the International 
Herpes Management Forum hosted a 
conference in Cannes and, in 1998, an- 
other in Morocco. The IHMF receives 
funding from the pharmaceuti- 
cal giant GlaxoWellcome, 
which—coincidental- 
ly—had new herpes 
treatments in the 
pipeline. 

To promote the 
new drugs, the 
company needed 
to convince doc- 
tors that herpes 
is serious. Only a 
quarter of herpes 
patients who visit 
doctors are given 
medication. Physi- 
cians seem to think 
that if there are no 
outbreaks or lesions, 
there is no need for 
intervention nor a main- 
tenance dose of antivi- 
ral drugs. 

To steer this potential mar- 
ket toward the new drugs, the 
pharmaceutical companies called 
for universal testing. The message be- 
hind the MTV ads was: Get a test and 
take your medicine and you won't give 
the gift that keeps on giving. But there 
were also those who pointed out a 
drawback of universal testing. An arti- 
cle in New Scientist charged that “the 
new test is part of a campaign to mar- 
ket herpes as the sexual scourge of 
the modern world.” Undergoing treat- 
ment for a disease that for most indi- 
viduals causes no great suffering pos- 
es a psychological burden. We already 
live in a culture where between a quar- 
ter and a third of college students have 
taken an AIDS test. 

We examined the media reports on 
herpes to see what, if anything, is new. 


By JAMES R. PETERSEN 


Most of the articles stressed the same 
three concerns: 

e Contrary to popular wisdom, a person 
who shows no signs Of the disease can still 
pass the virus on. There is no safe peri- 
od. Sexually active individuals are en- 
couraged to use condoms (which do 
not cover the entire genital area) or 
one of the new drugs. There is some 
evidence that a strong counterattack 
during initial infection can eliminate 
the virus. Good news. 

* People with active herpes outbreaks are 
more vulnerable to HIV infection. One re- 
searcher suggested that herpes suffer- 


ers are nine times as likely to get AIDS. 
Not only that, a herpes lesion on an 
HIV-positive lover may act as a viral 
factory, increasing the chance of trans- 
mitting AIDS. This is hardly news, 
though. In Africa, where AIDS is ram- 
pant and heterosexual transmission is 
the rule, genital lesions have been the 
main portal. 

In the United States, one researcher 
warned, inner city dwellers seem par- 
ticularly vulnerable to this route of 
transmission. But will a group hard- 
pressed to seek medical attention, or to 
buy condoms or sterile needles, em- 
brace the new medications? 1t seems 
unlikely. People who ignore safe sex 


warnings and still inject drugs and 
share needles are not going to sudden- 
ly. in a pang of conscience, begin treat- 
ing their herpes. 

* The virus can kill newborn infants. 
If the mother is infected, the infant can pick 
up the infection in the birth canal. Com- 
plications include blindness, retardation or 
worse. When herpes surfaced in the Sev- 
enties every major magazine printed 
this scare story without giving the 
odds. There should have been dead 
babies stacked like cordwood outside 
delivery rooms. The new media take is 
more honest. A study of almost 5 mil- 
lion deliveries in 1990 found 38,054 
cases in which the mother reported 

having herpes. Only 202 fetal 

deaths were attributable 
to herpes. Infection can 
have severe conse- 
quences this side of 
death, but newer fig- 
ures reinforce the 
rarity: Researchers 
estimate between 
1000 and 3000 
neonatal infections 

per year. 1f 20 to 

25 percent of preg- 
nant women have 
herpes, fewer than 

0.1 percent of ba- 

bies contract it. Dr. 

Zane Brown states 
that "neonatal herpes 
is a remarkably rare 
event. Compared to all 
the other possible risks in 
a pregnancy, the herpes risk 
is extremely small.” 
Studies have shown that if a 
woman has herpes before pregnan- 
су, she transmits her antibodies to the 
fetus. The chances of transmi 
crease if she contracts an infection for 
the first time during pregnancy. Advo- 
cates of testing play on the consciences 
of would-be fathers. Test, and if the re- 
sults merit action, take antivirals before 
and during pregnancy. 

Herpes isn't back. It's always been 
with us. The herpes moment is evi- 
dence that we have advanced since 
1982, when Time called the virus “The 
New Scarlet Letter” and the adjective 
incurable pulsed through every article. 
Now there are new ways to control it, 
and more companies that want to sell 
them to you. Venereal disease, like ev- 
erything else, turns on marketing. 


B 


N E W 


[Forum| 
S F R 


O N T 


what's happening in the sexual and social arenas 


THIS PLACE IS А MESS 


DAYTON, OHIO—The public defender 
for an accused bank robber plans a nov- 
el twist on an old defense—she claims po- 
lice illegally searched her client's home. 


Afier police found Donnie Tunstall in a 
Dumpster, they confiscated bedding, $4068 
in cash, a mask and a sawed-off shotgun, 
then arrested him for allegedly robbing a 
nearby bank. His public defender says 
Tunstall had lived in the Dumpster for “a 
substantial amount of time” and notes that 
courts have ruled that police need war- 
rants to enter even modest homes, includ- 
ing cardboard boxes. She asked, “If you 
make something your home, be it a box or a 
Dumpster, do you have an expectation of 
privacy?" 


NO MEN ALLOWED 


BOSTONA theology professor at Bos- 
ton College who has taught female-only 
classes for 25 years took a leave of absence 
rather than allow male students to enroll 
in her feminist ethics course. Mary Daly 
permits men to absorb her wisdom in inde- 
pendent study projects but says allowing 
them to participate in class discussions 
would inhibit her female students. She says 
women have been socialized to "nurse" 
men and defer to them, which would alter 
the dynamic of the course. Men also tend to 
be disruptive, which would "dumb doun" 
the class and keep it from "soaring," she 
told The Boston Globe. “This is not about 
discrimination," she said. "This is about 


leveling the rights of women and minori- 
ties so that while male power reigns.” The 
university says Daly's policy only became 
an issue after two male students com- 
plained, and one threatened to sue. A 
spokesman noted that if administrators 
allowed a male professor to bar women, 
"we'd be run out of town." 


A MOTHER'S BURDEN 


LINCOLN, NEBRASKA—Doug and Shar- 
on Detmer learned that their 16-year-old 
daughter had become pregnant by her boy- 
friend and took her to get an abortion. The 
procedure and ensuing therapy cost more 
than 811,000. Who should pay? The 
couple asserts they had no idea their 
daughter was sexually active but that her 
boyfriend's mother must have known. They 
sued Dawn Bixler for negligence, arguing 
that she had failed to supervise her son. À 
judge, after allowing a jury to hear evi- 
dence, threw out the case. 


URINE TROUBLE 


COLUMBIA, SOUTH CAROLINA—A state 
senator introduced a bill that would make 
it a felony to buy or sell urine for the pur- 
pose of cheating on a drug test. Offenders 
would receive up to five years in prison. 
The owner of Privacy Protection Services 
cried foul, claiming the law targets his 
company. The South Carolina firm sells 
$69 kits that include "pretested" human 
urine and a heat pack so you can furtively 
warm it to body temperature before hand- 
ing it to the tester. 


TESTICLE CURE 


ANAHEIM. CALIFORNIA — Scientists are 
hopeful that cells taken from the testicles of 
figs and rats hold the key to correcting 
brain damage. A researcher from the Uni- 
versity of South Florida said at a scientific 
meeting that Sertoli cells, which protect 
and provide nutrients needed to develop 
sperm in humans and other mammals, may 
also stimulate new brain growth. The tech- 
nique is being tested on stroke victims. 


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PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: BARNEY FRANK 


a candid conversation with the outspoken congressman about angry republi- 
cans, gay marriage, his personal scandal and the price of impeachment 


It's a typical, though unglamorous, day at 
the Newton, Massachusetts office of 
gresman Barney Frank. In the outer office 
it's standing room only for the eclectic collec- 
tion of Frank's constituents and representa- 
tives of special interest groups awaiting an 
audience. One man is here to ask for Frank's 
help in convincing Ihe Congressional Black 
Caucus to support his project, the American 
Antislavery Group. A distraught woman 
says she wants federal protection because of 
a domestic problem involving a child. 

One by one, they are escorted into a con- 
ference room where Frank holds casual 
court. The meetings are brief—five to ten 
minules—after which the visitors are led out, 
apparently satisfied. The distraught woman 
is one exception. She is sobbing as she is 
guided from the congressman's office. “Hell 
do what he can do,” her friend consoles. The 
crying woman isn't convinced aud utlers a 
homophobic remark. 

Following the meetings, Frank throws on 
his suit jacket aud overcoat and heads out of 
the office, trailed by «documentary filmmuk- 
er with a camera. As the congressman passes 
her desk, one of his assistants chuckles. "It's 
nice to see Barney with an entourage,” she 
says. “He never gets lo have one." 

Soon Frank is behind the wheel of a rent- 
ed sedan, driving through Boston on his way 


on- 


“Ken Starr became the first wildly unpopu- 
lar prosecutor 1 can think of. Prosecutors 
tend to be the good guys, heroes. The public 
reacted against the voyeurism. There is a 
sphere of privacy that they respect.” 


to meet with a group of hospital administra- 
tors concerned about recent Medicare cuts. 
Changing from one freeway to another, the 
car hits a bottleneck and is forced to inch 
along slowly. Frank swears under his breath. 
“I can't believe this traffic,” he says. He 
doesn't laugh when one of his passengers 
suggests he write his congressman 

It's a far cry from the picture of him that 
is familiar to many Americans: Frank in 
congressional hearings railing eloquently 
against the Republican accusers of President 
Clinton, an image televised throughout last 
year's impeachment hearings. Indeed, al- 
though Frank has been a congressman since 
1981 and is considered a prominent and 
effective legislator on domestic and inter- 
national issues, he gained immense visibil- 
ity outside his home state of Massachusetis 
during the hearings. As the second-ranking 
Democrat on Chairman Henry Hyde's 
House Judiciary Committee, Frank was one 
of the most visible congressmen—loved or 
loathed, depending on the viewer's opinion 
about the impeachment, 

Though Frank was a harsh critic of the 
partisauship that characteri: 
leading to Clinton's impeachment, he was 
in his element in the contentious hearings, 
trading witty barbs with his adversaries 
across the aisle. (Early on he described the 


“They're saying that my ability to marry an- 
other man somehow jeopardizes heterosexu- 
al marriage. Then they go out and cheat on 
their wives. That doesn't jeopardize helero- 
sexual marriage? I's nonsense.” 


hearings as "an impeachment in search of a 
high crime.") He was a thorn in the Repub- 
licans’ sides, arguing about everything from 
procedure (for example, he wanted delibera- 
lions to be open to the public) to whether the 
president could be censured instead of im- 
peached. Outside the hearing rooms, Frank 
was an architect of the Democrats’ strategies. 
When some of his colleagues pushed for ex- 
panded hearings that would have includ- 
ed witnesses to support President Clinton, 
Frank's view prevailed: “When your oppo- 
nent is busy committing suicide, get out of his 
he said. 

Though it put him at the center of the 
year’s biggest story, the impeachment was by 
по means Frank's first time in the middle of 
controversy. As America's first openly gay 
congressman (he came out in 1987), Frank 
is often in one storm or another, many of 
them connected to gay issues. When he com- 
promised on gay-related legislation, he was 
condemned by gay-rights groups; when he 
pushed gay rights, he was attacked by con- 
ser vativex. While all politicians are attacked 
for the stands they take, some of the vindic- 
tive attention Frank received was directed at 
him because he is gay. In 1995 Dick Armey 
called Frank “Barney Fag," claiming later 
that it was easy lo confuse "Frank" and “Fag.” 

But Frank is hardly a one-issue legislator. 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY SAM KITTNER 
“Gingrich represented the worst trends in 
American politics. He was creative in his vi- 
cious and negative campaign, and he was 
successful. But it ultimately consumed him, 
which was extremely satisfying.” 


55 


PLAYBOY 


Siuce arriving in the House in 1981 after 
eight years in Ihe Massachusetts state legis- 
laiure, he has taken strong, mostly liber- 
al stands on issues that include gun control, 
the Norih American Free Trade Agreement, 
affirmative action, the death penalty, work- 
ers’ rights and the International Monetary 
Fund. He is fiercely pro-choice and pro-wel- 
fare. (He once said of his adversaries on the 
first of those issues: “Sure they're pro-life. 
They believe life begins at conception and 
ends at birth. ") His current causes include 
a reduction in military spending, a univer- 
sal health care system in America and what 
he calls an “international New Deal" that 
would strengthen America's position in the 
emerging global economy. 

Frank also suffered a personal scandal 
that preceded Clinton's by a decade. И 
stemmed from his 1985 relationship with a 
male prostitute named Stephen Gobie, whom 
Frank befriended aud employed as a house- 
keeper and driver. Gobie later betrayed 
Frank, claiming he had operated a prostitu- 
tion ring ош of Frank's home with the con- 
gressman’s knowledge. There were calls for 
Frank's resignation. Frank, by then living 
with an economist named Herb Moses, had. 
thrown Gobie oul when he was alerted to the 
illegal activities by his landlady, He contest- 
ed the allegations in the House Ethics Com- 
mittee and ashed for an investigation, which 
found no evidence that Frank knew about 
the prostitution ring. He was nonetheless of- 
ficially reprimanded by Congress. (At the 
time, Congressman Меин Gingrich pushed 
for the more serious punishment, censure.) 

Despite the scandal, Frank ran again and 
was handily reelected. Since then, he has be- 
come one of the mosi powerful, highest rank- 
ing members of the House, serving on the 
most important committees, including bank- 
ing and judiciary. His congressional seat is 
so firmly sealed that he ran unopposed in 
two of his last three elections. 

Frank, who was born in Bayonne, New 
Jersey in 1940, was interested in politics 
at an early age. He is one of four children 
(his sister Ann Lewis is Clinton's communi- 
cations director), and when he wasn't in 
school, he worked part-time at his father's 
truck stop. But he also read voraciously 
news as well as literature—and was alway 
sensitive lo social injustice. It was his early 
glimpses of racism and bigotry that led him 
into politics. 

He studied political theory at Harvard 
and planned to pursue a Ph.D. but left acad- 
eme for politics in 1967, when he went to 
work for a Boston mayoral candidate. In 
1972 he van for office for the first tine and 
won a seat in the Massachusetts House of 
Representatives that he kept for eight years. 
He ran for the U.S. House in 1980. 

Frank was an enormously effective legisla- 
tor, popular with his constituents and many 
of his peers in the House. He earned a repu- 
tation for his skills as an orator and is often 
referred to as the smartest man in Congress. 
He made history when, in 1987, he told a 
Boston Globe reporter that he was gay, ex- 


56 plaining, “I don't think my sex life is rele- 


~ I don't want to leave 


vant to my job, but . 
the impression that I'm embarrassed by it. 
In the election that followed, his opponent 
attempted to make Frank's personal life an 
issue (at the time he was living with Moses, 
though the couple has since separated and 
Frank is now single). The incumbent won 70 
percent of the vote. 

In the aftermath of the impeachment, im- 
mediately after the Senate voted to acquil 
Clinton, we sent Contributing Editor Dovid 
Sheff lo meet with Frank. Here is Sheff’s 
repor 

"Frank is famous for his frumpiness. In 
1976, running for reelection to the Massa- 
chusetts House, onc of his campaign posters 
read NEATNESS ISN'T EVERYTHING. So [ was 
surprised by his tailored dark suit, recently 
pressed. But nothing else about Frank was 
polished. In fact, his casual style and unpre- 
tentiousness—even the fact that he drove 
himself around town—made him seem like 
an oddity in Congress. For a politician he is 
also unique in that he seems unswayed by 
opinion polls. 

“The most instructive forum in which to 
walch Frank is not in televised hearings bui 
in his meetings with constituents and numer- 


It's not just that Jerry 
Falwell is nutty, attacking 
Teletubbies and the 
Antichrist. Americans now 
understand how obsessive 
and mean this right wing is. 


ous special inlerest groups. When he met 
with the group of hospital administrators, he 
was clearly knowledgeable about such issues 
as HMOs, prescription medicine and Medi- 
care. Frank listened bul was also quick to 
point out contradictions and hypocrisies in 
the arguments of others. Immediately after 
that meeting, he had scheduled yet another 
face-off with voters. "Now that we don't have 
to waste our time on the Lewinsky-Clinton 
scandal, the American people expect us to 
on lo some real issues,’ Frank said at one 
point. Ч, for one, think they deserve that.” 


PLAYBOY: After the impeachment ordeal, 
are you feeling discouraged? 

FRANK: I was discouraged in Augusi— 
the whole thing was sort of messy and 
unpleasant. But now I'm less pessimistic. 
In fact, it was heartening to watch the 
American public through all this. They 
behaved enormously well. It was a de- 
light to watch them. 

PLAYBOY: Are you referring to the pub- 
lic’s consistent support of Bill Glinton 
throughout the impeachment process? 
FRANK: It was that the public refused to 
be told what to think. They ignored the 
experts, induding the media. Ordinarily 


the public is instructed on their politics, 
because they feel they lack expertise in 
many issues, whether science, econom- 
ic or environmental issues or complex 
foreign policy. But they knew what thi: 
was about. A married man had sex with 
someone he shouldn't have had sex 
with. She worked in his operation, it was 
consensual. There was nothing about 
the Clinton-Lewinsky affair that re- 
quired experts. And the public quickly 
made up its mind. That drove the press 
and most of the Republicans wild. 
PLAYBOY: As a result of this scandal, are 
politicians’ personal lives fair game or 
verboten? 

FRANK: The public was clear on this. 
There is a spherc of privacy that they 
respect. Throughout the scandal, they 
weren't simply reacting 
publicans and for Bill Clinton. They re- 
acted against the voyeurism. Ken Starr 
became the first wildly unpopular prose- 
cutor I can think of. Prosecutors tend to 
be the good guys, heroes. But Starr was 
one of the most unpopular political fig- 
ures in American history, and not be- 
cause people wanted to let Clinton off 
the hook. People felt that Clinton looked 
kind of cheesy in all this, but they cor- 
rectly understood that the force behind 
the anti-Clinton effort was far more in- 
sidious. That force represents the people 
in this country who want to tell the rest 
of us how to live—how to make the most. 
intimate and personal choices in our 
lives: how to worship, whom to love and 
when and where and how we may do it. 
The public said no. Americans viewed 
Starr—correctly, 1 think—as the agent of 
this, and Americans saw that it was both 
ridiculous and dangerous. 

PLAYBOY: But Republicans maintained 
the impeachment wasn't about sex. 
FRANK: Though they said it wasn't about. 
sex, the Republicans spent an awful lot 
of time talking about the philandering 
S.O.B. They were mortally offended. It 
was all about sex. 

PLAYBOY: They claimed it was about lies. 
FRANK: The American people didn't even 
care about the lies. A lot of them said, 
“We expect you to lie about sex." In mat- 
ters that aren't their business, they don't 
want to be told the truth. They don't 
want to know every detail of a person's 
life. We all know someone who has done 
something like what Clinton did. In ev- 
eryone's circle, among all of our family 


failure to live up to the moral code. Mi 
of us have learned that li 
ple thought, IF I have to throw Bill Clin- 
ton out as president for this and apply 
the same standard to my life, I can never 
speak to my brother-in-law again. My 
nephew can never come to Thanksg 
ing dinner. This is about families who 
don't speak to one another. This is about 
ntolerance and lack of forgiveness—if 
someone screws up, saying, "Don't ever 
come to my house again." It's the stern 


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father who, when his daughter shows up 
after having had a child out of wedlock, 
turns her away in his self-righteousness. 
That's not the way most people want to 
live. We may criticize, but we don't judge 
so harshly that which is completely hu- 
man. The public understands human 
complexity. 

PLAYBOY: Were the Republicans simply 
out of touch? 

FRANK: They were so out of touch that 
it was astonishing. They acted stupidly 
throughout the impeachment and after- 
ward. There's nothing more frustrating 
than winning a contest with a good loser. 
On the other hand, it's wonderful to win 
when there is a bad loser. And the Re- 
publicans were the worst losers imagin- 
able, snarling and unhappy: 

PLAYBOY: If private lives are no longer 
fair game, at least according to the pub- 
lic, why did Bob Livingston have to re- 
sign his seat in the Congress when his af- 
fair was revealed? 

FRANK: The fact is, three Republicans 
were shown to have committed adultery, 
and they acknowledged it and paid no 
political price whatsoever. Livingston 
was a separate case because he was run- 
ning for Speaker. The electorate didn't 
care—he wouldn't have been hurt in his 
home disuict—but some of the right- 
wing Republican members of Congress 
would have stopped him from becoming 
Speaker. 

PLAYBOY: Are you suggesting that he was 
pressured to resign—that he didn't re- 
sign on his own in an attempt to take the 
high ground? 

FRANK: He was pressured, pure and sim- 
ple. Livingston was told he wouldn't get 
elected as speaker. He was told there 
were enough Republicans against him— 
it would have taken only six—to make 
it a fait accompli. Despite their saying 
that the impeachment wasn't about sex, 
there were enough Republicans who 
had condemned the cheating, adulter- 
ous Bill Clinton that they couldn't then 
50 ahead and vote for Livingston. But 
the other Republicans who admitted 
having adultcrous affairs paid no price. 
Hyde, Chenoweth and Burton have had 
their elections and paid no price—even 
when there was hypocrisy. When the re- 
port about Hyde's affair broke, it engen- 
dered more sympathy for him than criti- 
cism. It's another example that negative 
politics no longer works. 

PLAYBOY: Yet some Repub — Пап 
Quayle, for опе—аге volunteering, even 
bragging, that they have been faithful to 
their wives. 

FRANK: Yes, and that will hurt them. It is 
demeaning and injects an issue that peo- 
ple think shouldn't be injected. 

PLAYBOY. Livingston was a victim of Lar- 
ту Flynt's campaign of fighting fire with 
fire. Do you support и? 

FRANK: I think there is something to be 
said for using people's hypocrisy against 
them. In Livingston's case, 1 don't see 


that there was that much. He wasn't one 
of the people who exploited the Clinton 
affair. But 1 understand the instinct to 
fight fire with fire. On the other hand, 
ГЇ be happy when revelations about per- 
sonal lives are dead and buried. 
PLAYBOY: Throughout the impeachment, 
the Republicans maintained that they 
were following their consciences, which 
is why they didn't bend to public pres- 
sure, Were they? 

FRANK: Nonsense. That was an after-the- 
fact rationalization. For years the Repub- 
licans argued exactly the opposite—that 
the left was out of touch and that Repub- 
licans represented the public. They said 
the Democrats, especially the liberals, ar- 
rogantly ignored public opinion about 
issues like the death penalty, affirmative 
action and welfare. They made a big 
point of saying how much they repre- 
sented the public and chastised the Dem- 
ocrats for being uncaring about public 
opinion. Suddenly they're arguing that 
it's a good thing not to care about public 
opinion. 

PLAYBOY: Were they surprised by the 
public's reaction? 

FRANK: Completely. They thought im- 
peaching Bill Clinton would be very pop- 
ular. They were planning national TV 
ads about it. They thought this scandal 
was going to be the end of Clinton and 
great for them. Throughout the im- 
peachment, even when it wasn't work- 
ing. their strategy was to try to turn pub- 
lic opinion against Clinton. If they didn't 
care what the public thought, why did 
they release grand jury testimony on 
television? Why did they want Monica 
Lewinsky on the floor of the Senate? 
They kept hoping that something they 
did would turn around public opinion 
PLAYBOY: At some point wasn't it obvious 
that the strategy wasn't working? 

FRANK: That's when they tried to hide 
what they were doing as much as possi- 
ble. They said, "We're going to vote to 
impeach Bill Clinton, but it doesn't real- 
ly mean he'll be impeached." They said, 
“The public doesn't have the right to 
watch our debates and to know exactly 
where we stand." They were afraid by 
then of having to pay the price of their 
so-called moral convictions. To allow the 
membership to hide from the public isa 
violation of democracy—which is exactly 
what they did. But in the end, the public 
spoke. They knew the impeachment was 
being used as a political tool, not as the 
founders had meant for it to be used. 
The truth is, they knew that the main 
sanction for the kind of flaw Bill Clinton 
showed was not impeachment but the 
clection process. In a democracy, the 
main way you penalize elected officials is 
not to vote for them. 

PLAYBOY: But Clinton can't run again. 
FRANK: "That's right, and the problem 
with a second-term president is that 
there is no vay to punish him in an elec- 
tion. If there were, I don't believe he 


would be reelected. It's one thing to 
keep the guy in office; it's another to re- 
ward him with another term. But since 
they couldn't vote him out of office, the 
Republicans were frustrated. So they 
tried to circumvent the political process. 
In that, Americans saw who really con- 
trols the Republican Party. They saw that 
the right wing controls the party and 
they saw that the right wing is nuts. It's 
not just that Jerry Falwell is nutty, with 
his Compulsion to be a public moron, at- 
tacking Teletubbies one week and the 
Antichrist the week before. But Ameri- 
cans now understand just how obsessive 
and mean this right wing is. They also 
understand that the right controls the 
Republicans. There had been a miscon- 
ception that the Republican Party was 
generally free of that ultraconservative 
influence. The mask was stripped off. 
PLAYBOY: Did you know that the right- 
wingers controlled the Republicans so 
thoroughly that the party would allow 
them to destroy it? 
FRANK: 1 actually thought that self-pres- 
ervation would keep them from im- 
peaching the president as late as early 
September. I really thought they would 
stop it when they saw how unpopular it 
was. So I underestimated not just the 
self-destructive tendency of the right 
wing but also the inability of the rest of 
the Republican Party to do anything 
about it. I guarantee that there were 
Republicans who wanted the process to 
stop a long time before impeachment, 
but they were powerless. They watched 
it unravel and were helpless. 
PLAYBOY: Do you think more-moderate 
Republicans would have voted with you, 
against impeachment, but that they were 
blackmailed? Would the party have with- 
held money for reelection campaigns? 
FRANK: They were blackmailed with 
votes, not money. Liberals always think 
it's about money, that they are going to 
be unfairly outspent. Money is a factor, 
but a much smaller factor than the right 
wing's organization. They get out the 
vote. Mainstream Republicans have 
more money than right-wing Republi- 
cans. The mainstream are the rich peo- 
ple, but they don't get out the vote. So 
moderate Republicans were in a quan- 
dary. They felt they couldn't break from 
the party because they would have been 
targeted by the right wing. 

d t subtle or overt pressure? 
FRANK: It was overt pressure. Some of it 
was public. Bob Livingston, when he was 
running for Speaker, said that anyone 
who voted against them on the proce- 
dural issue involving censure would be 
defying the leadership. What that means 
is that you might have trouble getting a 
subcommittee chairmanship, or that you 
wouldn't have leadership support in get- 
ting projects approved for your district. 
It was not subtle pressure. 
PLAYBOY: Some Republicans maintain 
they wanted to vote for censure but wer 


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not given that choice. 
FRANK: Yes. They're saying, "They 
wouldn't let me vote for censure." You 
wouldn't let you vote for censure. These 
people helped the Republican leader- 
ship prevent censure and then used the 
fact that they couldn't vote for censure as 
an excuse to vote for impeachment. 
PLAYBOY: Some of the Republicans felt 
that censure was too mild—a slap on the 
wrist. In one memorable speech, you ar- 
gued that your reprimand by the House 
was indeed a big deal. Was that an emo- 
tional speech for you? 

FRANK: It was very emotional. I thought 
censure was a way to break the country 
out of this miasma. 1 thought censure 
was appropriate. The anticensure argu- 
ments were totally inconsistent. They 
maintained that censure would cripple 
future presidents because it can be used 
so easily. At the same time they said that 
it doesn't mean anything. But how can 
something that doesn't mean anything 
cripple future presidents? So | made an 
argument against the suggestion that a 
reprimand like censure was meaning- 
less. I also wanted to point out the hypoc- 
risy surrounding Gingrich. If they cared 
so much about lying, why did they vote 
him a new term after his investigation? 
Under House rules, I couldn't mention 
Gingrich's reprimand on the floor, be- 
lieve it or not. 1 knew that if I pointed 
out the hypocrisy, I could be ruled out of 
order. It occurred to me, however, that if 
I mentioned not only Newt Gingrich but 
also myself, it would be hard for them to 
rule me out of order. 

PLAYBOY: Why couldn't you mention 
Gingrich's reprimand? 

FRANK: We have rules that protect us. I 
can get up on the floor of the House and 
say outrageous things about anybody in 
the world except another member of the 
House and Senate. We can lie with im 
punity about anybody else, but we can't 
tell the truth about one another. So I 
spoke about my own experience in or- 
der to address the hypocrisy around 
Gingrich and to show that reprimand is 
meaningful. They always knew that cen- 
sure was meaningful, by the way. They, 
like me, care about this place—the Unit- 
ed States Congress. To be reprimanded 
by this body is no small thing. 

PLAYBOY: When your scandal broke, did 
you lie about it? 

FRANK: Not under oath, but I did lie in 
a letter I sent to a friend. I lied about 
how I met Gobie [the central figure in 
the scandal]. I didn’t lie in any judicial 
proceedings like Gingrich had, but I 
nonetheless regret what | did. It was ir- 
responsible. I was terribly afraid that it 
would damage gay causes. Ultimately it 
wasn't as bad as I'd feared, but it hurt 
some. So I had political motivations in 
bringing up my past transgressions, but 
nal ones: И was another way of 
g my mistake. 


&0 PLAYBOY: In retrospect, did you handle 


your scandal any better than Clinton 
handled his? 

FRANK: Given that it happened, I reacted 
about as well as I could have. 

PLAYBOY: There were calls for your resig- 
nation. Even The Boston Globe, which had 
supported you, wanted you to step down. 
FRANK: Yes. The Globe had a brief Puritan 
period. 

PLAYBOY: Was there ever a chance you 
would resign? 

FRANK: No. There was a good chance 
1 wouldn't run again, but I never con- 


would have ended the House ethics pro- 
ceedings. I knew I had done something 
stupid —and wrong—in engaging Gobie 
and keeping him around and getting in- 
volved with him to the extent I did. But. 
I also knew that most of what he accused 
me of—letting him run prostitution in 
my apartment, among other things— 
were lies. The only forum in which I 
could prove that was the House Ethics 
Committee. If 1 had resigned, it would 
have ended the proceedings and 1 never 
would have been able to prove my inno- 
cence on those charges. But I did decide 
1 didn't want to run again. By this ume 
1 was living with my lover, Herb Mo- 
ses, who told me I should run. He said, 
“You're going to be a mess if you don't 
run again.” But I was afraid Га lose the 
scat for the Democrats, and that I would 
be doing more harm than good. Finally I 
agreed to poll my district to determine 
whether or not I should run. The results 
were that I should: People thought 1 
had behaved stupidly, but they wanted 
me to run. 

PLAYBOY: Was the public served in any 
way by knowing about that scandal? 
FRANK: No, though it's important that 
people know I'm gay. 

PLAYBOY: Why is your sexuality an issue? 
FRANK: Because there is prejudice to- 
ward gay and lesbian people based on 
inderstandings about us. You don't 
go from a prejudiced situation to an un- 
prejudiced situation without knowledge. 
So it's important for me to speak openly 
about my sexuality to help educate pco- 
ple. Forty years ago, when there was a lot 
of anti-Semitism, it would have been im- 
portant for them to know that I'm Jew- 
ish. Today it is not a big deal that I'm 
Jewish. Where there is prejudice, it is 
important to be open. Then people can 
see for themselves that their prejudic- 
es are unfounded. It is important for 
gay people to let the rest of society know 
the fact of discrimination and the pain 
of discrimination. Even the Gobie stuff 
helped in a sense. When I came out, 
people said, "Why did you come out? We 
didnt want to know. Why did you have 
10 tell us?" My answer was, I can't live a 
life in which you don't know, because 
that would require me to do all kinds of 
dumb things—it's what led me to Gobic. 
PLAYBOY. And how did it lead to the rcla- 
tionship with him? 


FRANK: The fact that I had used the ser- 
vices of a prostitute and then befriended. 
im are examples of how crazy 1 felt liv 
ingin the closet and why coming out was 
a prerequisite to a healthy life. 

PLAYBOY: But you had come out by then. 
FRANK: 1 had come out by the time he 
made the accusations, but I wasn't out 
when I met him. The order was: | met 
him, ! was with him, I broke off with 
him, I came out, I met my lover Herb. I 
was living a normal, healthy life by the 
time he made the accusations. The accu- 
sations went back to events that began 
prior to my coming out. 

PLAYBOY: What led to your decision to 
come out? 

FRANK: Primarily, 1 couldn't live any- 
more in this frustrating, closeted way. I 
was not having a healthy emotional life. I 
thought it would hurt me politically, but 
not mentally. And I thought it would be 
politically advantageous for gay causes. 
Still, 1 can't claim that as a primary mo- 
tive. It was a secondary motive. The pri- 
mary motive was that I could no longer 
live like that. 

PLAYBOY: At the time, you said that the 
troubles involving Gobie were due to 
your low self-esteem. What did you 
mean by that? 

FRANK: It all came down to the same 
thing: being in the closet. I had a hard 
time meeting people. I hired men for 
sex, then tried to make a friend out of. 
them. Bcing a prominent person in thc 
closet meant it was hard not only meet- 
ing people but also developing emotion- 
al relationships. I thought there was 
something the matter with me, some 
flaw: "Why can't I relate to people bet- 
ter?" 1 finally realized it was because I 
was keeping this secret. 1 couldn't be my- 
self, and I was afraid. | had to be careful 
who knew. I couldn't be seen in many 
places. I had to be careful who 1 called. 
Relationships are difficult anyway, but I 
was multiplying the difficulty. 

PLAYBOY: Back to the president's scandal: 
Did he thank you for your support? 
FRANK: Yes, the president thanked me. 
Several times. 

PLAYBOY: Did it bother you that he lied to 
you personally? Did he apologize? 
FRANK: He never lied to me. I never 
asked him what happened. By the way, I 
never said I believed him. There were all 
these people fretting that he lied not on- 
ly to the public—as if that were excus- 
able—but also to his friends and cabinet 
members. That's crazy. In fact, if a public 
figure were telling a lie to the public and 
the truth to his staff, he would be putting 
his staff in a worse position. He would 
then be asking them to lie. 
PLAYBOY: But do you acknowledge that 
he lied to the American people? 

FRANK: Sure, and that was wrong. He 
lied in the deposition when he said he 
didn't remember being alone with Mon- 
asn't perjury, since it 
to the case, but it was a 


lie. But the lie that bothered me the most 
was when he lied to the American peo- 
ple. He thought that he was technically 
telling the truth, but he was wrong and 
he shouldn't have done it. He had the 
right not to say anything, but he should 
not have lied. That’s why 1 was for cen- 
sure early on. 

PLAYBOY: Was the vote to impeach the low 
point for you? 

FRANK: The low point was when the 
House voted in September to release the 
Starr material. Three hundred and sixty 
members of the House, including the 
great majority of the Democrats, vot- 
ed with all the Republicans. Everybody 
thought it would kill Clinton. Everyone 
expected nasty, salacious stuff. That was 
the low point, because 
I thought that he 
might be thrown out 
of office—a terrible 
victory for the right 
wing. It wasn't that 1 
didn't think we could 
survive Bill Clinton 
not being president, 
but I didn't want to 
see that set of values 
win. Also, I thought it 
would do tremendous 
damage to the Dem- 
ocrats. People like Dick 
Morris, whose desire 
for vengeance on Bi 
Clinton has driven 
him around the bend, 
were writing stories 
about how the Dem- 
ocrats were going to 
get wiped out. So was 
Bob Novak. They've 
all forgotten that now. 
So that was worse for 
me than the vote to 
impeach, because the 
impeachment vote 
was clearly partisan 
and everyone knew it 
PLAYBOY: When the im- 
peachment was hand- 
ed to the Senate, did 
that body behave bet- 
ter than the House? 
FRANK: The moderate Republicans in the 
Senate showed more spine, though only 
slightly more 

PLAYBOY: Were they acting out of political 
expediency? 

FRANK: They were being politically expe- 
dient when they voted in the beginning 
to keep the trial going. They could have 
ended it—there were numerous calls to 
dismiss. If they had really voted their 
consciences, they would have stopped 
it. No one other than the rabid right 


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him a new term as Speaker. How in the 
hell do you make a man Speaker for a 
new term if he has lied 13 times to the 
House Ethics Committee over campaign 
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These are people who praised George 
Bush's pardoning Caspar Weinberger 
when he was indicted for perjury. So, no, 
I don't believe rhat most of them serious- 
ly carcd about the charges. It was miscal- 
culated political expediency 

PLAYBOY: When you look back at Clin- 
ton's part in the scandal, do you blame 
his arrogance, or did the president sim- 
ply use bad judgment? 

FRANK: There was a lapse in judgment 
when he engaged in sex with Monica 
Lewinsky in the first place. Beyond that, 


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saying “I didnt have sexual relations 
with her” reflects one of his weaknesses. 
He thinks he can talk his way out of any- 
thing. He's a good talker, but he's not as 
good as he thinks he is 

PLAYBOY: What did you make of the 
charges that came out after the impeach- 
ment that he raped Jua Broaddrick? 
FRANK: I'm glad he can't run for reclec- 
tion. IF he were able to run agai 
would all be obligated to come to judg- 
ment about whether that is true or not 
If it’s trne, he shouldn't be impeached— 
he should be imp On the oth- 
hand. that's why we have a statute of 
limitations. There's no way anyone can 
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people who did bad things a long time 
ago. It exists because it's impossible to 
come to a judgment about whether 
something happened or not many years 
after the fact. Witnesses’ memories just 
aren't that reliable. I feel that this accu- 
sation isn't consistent with other accusa- 
ions against the president, so I'm less 
inclined to believe it. It doesn't make 
sensc in terms of a pattern, but there's 
no way to know about somcthing that 
happened 90 years ago. 

PLAYBOY: What's your reaction to George 
Stephanopoulos' account of the scandal 
and the Clinton presidency in his book? 
FRANK: Mixed. He has a right to write 
a book about Bill Clinton that's critical 
of the president's policies. I worked 
for Kevin White, then 
the mayor of Boston, 
and was very high on 
him—thought he did 
a great job. But then 
І came to disagree 
with things he did 
and opposed him 
when he ran for his 
last term. People said 
1 was being disloyal. 
But the idea is not to 
work fora person but 
for your 
are working for the 
public interest. So 1 
don't fault Stephano- 
poulos for disloyalty. 
I do, however, criti- 
cize him for quot- 
ing private conversa- 
tions. That's wrong. 
PLAYBOY: After the 
books and news ac- 
counts and yearlong 
attention to the Clin- 
ton scandal, what is 
your prediction for 
the 2000 elections? 
FRANK: The Republi- 
cans hope new issues 
will come along and 
the public won't care 
about the impeach- 
ment. But the public 
now judges every- 
thing the Republicans do through a 
screen of dislike. If they fight with Clin- 
ton, they are not going to get a fair 
shake. I would be surprised if the Dem- 
ocrats don't do much better than usual 
in 2000. We'll take the House and will 
make serious gains in the Senate—per- 
haps take it back 

PLAYBOY: Ycı carly polls suggest that a 
Republican, specifically George Bush, 
could beat Al Gore for president 

FRANK: Personality can transcend other 
factors when it comes to the presidency. 
Those poll resulis a foregone co 
clusion by any means. George Bush has 
a long way to go before an election. 
far, he has taken a pass on the Republi 
can rights issues, but they aren't going 


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to allow him to continue to take a pass. 
We'll see how he comes out of it all. 
PLAYBOY: How about the next race in 
New York for the U.S. Senate? Would 
you support a bid by Hillary Clinton? 
FRANK: 1 think it will be great if she runs. 
She would be very good. 

PLAYBOY: What will happen to the Re- 
Will the moderates in the par- 
th the right? 

FRANK: At some point they are going to 
have to. But part of the reason the right 
has so much strength is that its members 
vote. There's a catch-22. The more the 
right dominates the party, the less other 
people will vote. Though they are a mi- 
nority in this country, considerably less 
than 20 percent, the right is well orga- 
nized. They are a powerful force. They 
er to vote and show up at the polls. 
I wish gay and lesbian people and Afri- 
can Americans and others would follow 
their example and organize. So 1 don't 
know how the Republicans will break 
out of that. I assume at some point they 
will throw out the ultraright if they lose 
badly enough. But it may take a truly 
disastrous defeat for that to happen— 
more disastrous than the 1998 elections. 
PLAYBOY. One casualty of those elections 
was another former adversary of yours, 
Newt Gingrich. Were you happy to see 
him go? 

FRANK: Thrilled. Gingrich represented 
the worst trends in American politics. He 
more than anyone else brought in the 
negativism. He made a conscious deci- 
sion in the Eighties to attempt to elevate 
his party by delegitimizing the opposi- 
tion. He said to the others in his par- 
ty, "Don't act as if these are reasonable 
people with whom you disagree. These 
are bad people, corrupt people." He was 
creative in his vicious and negative cam- 
paign, and he was successful. But it ulti- 
mately consumed him, which was ex- 
tremely satisfying. 

PLAYBOY: Besides the possibility of gain- 
ing seats in the House and the Senate, 
how does the Democratic Party stand af- 
ter the impeachment? 

FRANK: Wc are on the verge of doing 
well. Bill Clinton has done a good job of 
purging our excesses. 

PLAYBOY: Do you mean that he brought 
the party into the center? 

FRANK: Yes, though in some cases he 
went too far. 

PLAYBOY: On which issues do you think 
he went too far? 

FRANK: Welfare, for example. I’m still 
worried about the repercussions of wel- 
fare reform—the part that says you are 
cut off after fivc years. There are people 
who just won't make it. What about the 
people who have kids? I don't under- 
stand punishing kids because they have 
lousy parents. And I don't think it's nec- 
essary, | am all in favor of getting peo- 
ple working, but it isn't the only issue 
The economy has been good, so we have 


&4 been able to get a lot of these people 


jobs. But what happens when we reach 
people on welfare who no one would 
They aren't quite disabled, but you 
wouldn't hire them. The bill doesn't con- 
sider them. Cutting them off assumes 
they are all just lazy. Some aren't. Some 
are dysfunctional. 

PLAYBOY: How would you help them? 
FRANK: We are a rich country. If we were 
a poor country, maybe we'd have to wor- 
ry that somebody might get a nickel they 
don't deserve. But we are rich enough to 
етт on the side of not starving or abusing 
children. I believe in the safety net. It's 
essential and humane. Sadly, there may 
be casualties before people sce the need 
to fix it. 

PLAYBOY: Other than welfare, what issues 
have you and President Clinton dis- 
agreed on? 

FRANK: The biggest policy split between 
us was when he bought into the global 
trickle-down theory. A lot of us on the 
Democratic side support a global free 
market, too, but only if we can address 
labor rights and general human rights as 
well as environmental protection. We al- 
so have to take care of the people at 


I don't understand 
why people can't 
validate their own 
beliefs without 
victimizing 
other people. 


home. The president is now moving in 
that direction. The defeat of fast track 
[which increases the president's power 
over trade issues] was very important. 
The passing of the International Mon- 
etary Fund bill was important because 
it included a lot of stuff about human 
rights and environmental concerns. 
There will be more of those. 

PLAYBOY: But you opposed the North 
American Free Trade Agreement, which 
Clinton supported. 

FRANK: That is the best example of why 
trickle-down doesn't work. What we 
need is an international New Deal. Es- 
sentially what is happening is that tech- 
nology has transformed capitalism 

What FDR did was deal with fully ma- 
ture capitalism on a national level. He 
found a system that produced a lot of 
wealth but also assured stability and 
equality. The free market system worked 
as the main generator of wealth, but 
there were controls to protect people 
from unrestrained capitalism. Now tech- 
nology has come along and transformed 
everything. Borders don't mean much 
anymore. But as we take our place in the 
new world economy, we need to protect 


our workers. We need to protect the en- 
vironment. We need to protect the poor 
in other countries from being exploited 
and at the same time protect American 
companies from unfair foreign competi- 
tion. So what we now need is an interna- 
tional New Deal. 

PLAYBOY: How do you protect American 
interests beyond our borders? 

FRANK: Wc can't tell other countries what 
to do, but we can use the fact that oth- 
er countries want two things from us: 
American capital, encouraged and to 
some extent protected by the American 
government, and the ability to sell in the 
best market in the world. We have the 
right to condition access to our capi- 
tal and our market. Clinton is coming 
around. In his State of the Union ad- 
dress he said, “We have got to put a hu- 
man face on the global economy.” We 
can do that by saying that if you want 
money from the World Bank. you have 
to agree to let your workers join unione 
Our companies shouldn't have to com- 
pete against companies that pay their 
workers ten cents an hour. Other coun- 
tries need environmental rules that arc 
enforced. If they use child labor, they 
shouldn't be able to sell goods in Ameri- 
ca. We want to protect people and we 
want competition to be fair. 


and em 
FRANK: Nafta paid lip service ES them. I 
say let's redo Nafta with teeth. I think 
Clinton sees that that's what we need 
We're stronger now as a party and we 
can go forward with tougher stands on 
issues like this. We're more united on a 
plausible agenda than we have been in 
my memory. Clinton did a lot of this: He 
purged a lot of the negatives associated 
with Democrats. 

PLAYBOY: Is liberalism stilla bad word? 
FRANK: It is, but it shouldn't be. I want to 
make it a better word. 

PLAYBOY: Democrats are traditionally 
seen as weaker on defense. Are we un- 
derdefended now? 

FRANK: No, we are not underdefended 
PLAYBOY: Some of your colleagues argue 
that we need to be—and aren't--ready 
to fight two wars at the same time. 
FRANK: Against whom? It's 
South Korea is already well 
have to help South Korea against North 
Korca and we have to fight Iraq, but 
Iraq is in pretty weak shape. We could 
help South Korea against North Korea 
and defeat Iraq with much less than we 
now have. We have way too many nu- 
clear weapons. Wc haven't really scaled 
down since the end of the cold war. 
There has been a qualitative change. For 
50 years, from the late Thirties until 
1990, we faced heavily armed totalitari- 
ans who opposed freedom and were 
ready to attack us and had the capaci- 
ty to damage us. The Nazis and the 
Communists had the capacity to do real 


damage to America. Since then, there 
have been countries that are irresponsi- 
ble, dangerous to their neighbors, but 
none are a danger to us. It is a qualita- 
tive difference. There is no combination 
of forces in the world today that threat- 
ens our existence as a free society. 
PLAYBOY: If the new threat is terrorism, 
what more would you have us do? 
FRANK: We've done a fairly effective job 
so far. There has been virtually no suc- 
cessful foreign terrorism inside the U 
But we need to continue to fight it 
through intelligence and other means. 
PLAYBOY: What would you do with the 
freed money if you were successful in 
trimming the military budget? 

FRANK: We need money in many domes- 
tic areas. My single 
greatest priority is 
universal health 
Care. Then 1 would 
improve education, 
the environment, 
housing and law en- 
forcement. There 
are a lot of things 
that involve the 
quality of life in a 
complicated urban 
society that you 
can't pay for as an 
individual. We must 
again look at all the 
people in our soci- 
ety—the ones falling 
through the cracks. 
PLAYBOY: Another 
contentious domes- 
tic issue is affirma- 
tive action. Do you 
think it is doomed? 
FRANK: Because of 
the courts, we may 
have to use econom: 
ics instead of race as 
a marker. It is not a 
perfect marker, but 
it's better than noth- 
g. There is no con- 
stitutional argument 
against economic 
ination. Po- 
the enemies 
of affirmative action 
will have a hard time arguing against 
economic-based affirmative action. They 
say they aren't against helping poor peo- 
ple, they just don't think it should be 
based on race. I disagree, of course. It 
should be about race because America 
has a long racist past and we can't get 
from prejudice to no prejudice without 
corrections, taking our history into ac- 
count, It would be better than nothing 
to have it be income based, though, be- 
cause race and income are related. 
PLAYBOY: After the divisive impeachment 
ordeal, will you be able to work with the 
Republicans on this or other issues? 
FRANK: I will. 1 can't work with Barr or 
Burton, but I couldn't work with them 


before. ГИ work with the others. When 
you're a professional, you do that. This 
is not the sharpest dispute I've had with 
those people. 1 was pretty angry at the 
demagoguery on the Defense of Mar- 
L 1 have been angry at their ho- 
mophobia and racism. But you learn to 
work with them because you have to. 
PLAYBOY: But how deep docs this sort of 
rancor go? 

FRANK: With most people, not that deep. 
I think they way overdid it, but Bill Clin- 
ton was not some innocent person walk- 
ing down the street. They didn't mug a 
charity case. He brought a little of this 
on himself, which mitigates the anger. 
PLAYBOY: But do you like these guys? Do 
you argue with them in front of the cam- 


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FRANK: No, we don't do that. We don't 
socialize much across party lines. But we 
can work together. 

PLAYBOY: Were you surprised if not hor- 
rified when you heard that Dick Armey 
referred to you as Barney Fag? 

FRANK: Yeah, I was. Г usually shoot from 
the hip and comment. But I took this 
one very seriously. I checked the tape to 
make sure he'd said it. Then I sat and 
thought about it for a while before I de- 
cided on a onse. It seemed to me 
very grave. This was early 1995. The Re- 
publicans had just taken over as kings of 
the hill. So it felt pretty serious to have 
one of the major figures in the Republi- 


can Party—one of the top five Republi- 
cans in the country—say something like 
that. He's fallen pretty far since then in 
terms of people's opinion of him, but it 
was serious. I thought hard about how to 
respond. I wanted to show my anger, but 
I didn't want to look like a victim. People 
don't respect victims. I never want to 
project weakness. I don't want to say, 
“Oh, poor me.” I want to say, “Poor son 
of a bitch who crosses mc." I want to be 
aggressive in defense of my rights. 
PLAYBOY: Were you surprised that he said 
it or surprised that he said it out loud? 
FRANK: That he said it out loud, mostly. T 
was talking to Steve Gunderson, who is 
a gay Republican who does very good 
work but is far too prone to apologize 
for his gay-bashing 
colleagues. Gun- 
derson said, "I 
know Dick Armey 
and he doesn't have 
a prejudiced bone 
in his body." I said, 
“I don't know about 
prejudiced bones 
in his body, but I 
know he has a prej- 
udiced thought in 
his head." 

PLAYBOY: How did 
you decide to re- 
spond to him? 
FRANK: I held a 
press conference. I 
explained that I 
wanted to respond 
on behalf of all gay 
people who feel 
prejudice such as 
that expressed by 
Armey. I said, “This 
is an outrageous 
example of bigot- 
ry. Armey said he 
didn't mean to say 
it. T accept that, but 
he was thinking it. 
His argument was 
that it was simply 
a physical mispro- 
nunciation—he had 
simply mangled the 
syllable." I said that 
that was preposterous. I said, “I don't 
think he intended to say it. But it wasn't 
a physical mispronunciation. He blurted 
out something he had been thinking, 
and I’m sure he wishes he hadn't said it.” 
1 also wanted to point out that this whole 
thing may have shown some progress. 
Fificen years ago, he wouldn't have had 
to pretend he hadn't meant it. 1 love my 
mother's reaction. Armey said it was just. 
a mispronun ion of Frank. When she 
heard about it, my mother said, "In the 
50 years since I married your father, no 
one has ever called me Elsie Fag.” 
PLAYBOY: Is that an indication of how 
Armey and his colleagues talk about you 
in private? 


65 


PLAYBOY 


FRANK: I don't think so. Maybe I'm kid- 
ding myself. I think Armey is unusually 
boorish. But 1 really don't think there is 
much of that. I would hear about it— 
there arc gay staff people in their offices 
who are in the closet, and I would hear it 
from them. Part of the reason it came 
out then was the Republicans were par- 
ticularly mad at me during that period. 
"They had taken over and were running 
the House. A lot of Democrats were dis- 
couraged to find themselves in the mi- 
^ lot of my colleagues had never 
been in the minority before. But I've 
been a minority all my life. I'm gay, Jew- 
and left-handed. I’m used to it. So I 
was more visible as one of their oppo- 
nents, and they found me particularly 
obnoxious. 

PLAYBOY: As the first openly gay con- 
gressperson, you drew a lot of attention 
to gay issues. One was gays in the mili- 
tary. Do you feel Clinton sold out the gay 
community in his compromise? 

FRANK: No, because he got through as 
much as he could have at the time. I was 
against the don'rask-don't-tell policy, 
but it wasn't his preference, either. 
PLAYBOY: Didn't you help make the 
compromisc? 

FRANK: No. I voted against it. Sam Nunn 
first came up with a version of the policy. 
1 presented an alternative version that 
was rejected. The villains in this are Sam 
Nunn and Colin Powell. Powell wouldn't 
go along with anything meaningful. 
PLAYBOY: What were you pushing? 
FRANK: I would have accepted a policy 
that says, "You won't talk about being 
gay while you are on duty, but when you 
arc off duty it is not a problem. If some- 
body finds out, it's none of his business." 
The policy they adopted is not a very 
good one. What's even worse is that the 
military has been abusive of the policy. 
They hate it. They think it goes too far, 
though it doesn't go ncarly far enough. 
Clinton has been so afraid of the military 
that he won't enforce it. He lets them get 
away with abusing people, 

PLAYBOY: Is it just a matter of time before 
that changes? 

FRANK: Nothing is automatic. It's a mat- 
ter of our mobilizing politically. 
PLAYBOY: Meanwhile, there seems to be 
less, not more, tolerance of gays. A sur- 
vey showed that homophobia is on the 
rise among teenagers. Also, there has 
been a spate of hate crimes against gays. 
FRANK: What we need to do is fully sup- 
port secondary schools teaching that 
prejudice—any prejudice—is wrong and 
that you don't beat people up because 
you don't like them. The two thugs who 
murdered Matthew Shepard were sadly 
just a few years out of high school, 21- 
year-old pieces of shit. Kids have to be 
educated about tolerance—of different 
races, sexual orientation, whatever. 
PLAYBOY: Did you take it as a personal 
affront when the Republicans pushed 


66 through the Defense of Marriage Act, 


which essentially prohibits same-sex 
marriages? 

FRANK: Of course. When Henry Hyde's 
marital affairs were revealed, 1 said to 
“I agree with those who say that 
n't relevant as far as the impeach- 
ment is concerned. But it is as far as 
Doma is concerned." Given his promi- 
nence as committee chairman in press- 
ing Doma and arguing to me that gay 
marriages violate the sacrosanct institu- 
tion of marriage, I think there was justi- 
fication in what I said. They are arguing 
that legally acknowledging gay unions 
will undermine conventional marriages. 
It's nonsense. They're saying I can't get 
married. They're saying that my ability 
to marry another man somehow jeopar- 
dizes heterosexual marriage. Then they 
go out and cheat on their wives. That 
doesn't jeopardize heterosexual mar- 
riage? So there's some reconciling to do. 
PLAYBOY: When you confronted Hyde, 
how did he respond? 

FRANK: He said, "It's complicated. I un- 
derstand your point." But we'll see what 
happens. 

PLAYBOY: What can you do? 

FRANK: Thc vicious part of Doma says 
that if a state recognizes same-sex mar- 
riage, the federal government will not 
honor it. So if and when a state recog- 
nizes gay marriage, I will try to push 
through legislation that challenges the 
federal government's stand. It will be a 
state's-right argument—that it's not up 
to the federal government. It will also be. 
challenged in court. 

PLAYBOY: What do you think 
the right wing's homophobia? 
FRANK: I think it is a vestige of religious 
influence. Beyond them, however, Amer- 
icans take a generally pro-gay position, 
though not yet on marriage. If you ask 
the public, "Should you be fired because 
you are gay?" they say, "Of course noi 
Knowing that, when the bigots try to kill 
legislation that prohibits discrimination, 
they say, “Gays already are protected 
Everyone is protected. Gays are looking 
for special rights.” They get support that 
way, but it's nonsense. If the question 
were, "Should people be able to have 
recognition of the fact that they love 
someone else and legally share rights 
with them?" you would get a yes. I think 
everyone should have the same rights 
and anyone being discriminated against 
should have special tection. Doma 
meanwhile was mostly political. Hawaii 
was debating same-sex marriage and 
some gay groups said, “If Hawait allows 
it, we're going to use the U.S. Consti 
tion to argue that every state must allow 
it.” It isn't good constitutional law, but 
it gave the Republicans a plausible 
gument that a decision in Hawaii to al- 
low gay marriages was going to lead to 
gay marriages everywhere in Ameri 
Hawaii unfortunately didn't go through 
with it, but it helped the right-wingers 
push the Defense of Marriage Act. Re- 


behind 


publicans saw a political wedge issue. 
They proposed Doma in 1996 and 
brought it to a vote. They figured they 
were going to make Clinton cither sign 
the bill and piss off gay people or veto 
the bill and piss off everybody else. It was 
political. Completely. 
PLAYBOY: After serving as long as you 
have in this House, are you less idealistic 
and more pragmatic? 
FRANK: I'm no different now And I reject 
the idea that pragmatism 
are opposed. The more idea 
are, the more pragmatic you should be 
The more you care about your values, 
the more you are morally obligated to 
get them implemented. It is not alw 
easy to figure out how, but you have to 
try: You try to reconcile your ideals and 
the real world. 
PLAYBOY: Do you have a plan for the next 
election? Do you sce yourself running 
for a different office, or vill you run 
again for Congress? 
FRANK: | am going to run again. The on- 
ly other office 1 would run for would be 
the Senate, and there are already two 
very good senators from Massachusetts. 
I'm 59 ycars old, rather latc in life to be 
picking a new job. I expect to spend the 
next 15 or so ycars at this job and move 
on to retirement. 
PLAYBOY: Deke it get tedious, or is it still 
interes 
FRANK: It is about as tedious as anything 
else. Every job has elements of tedium. 
but on the whole it is still very exciting. 
PLAYBOY: In general, do you find that 
your congressional colleagues are an im- 
pressive group? Are the American peo- 
ple well represented? 
FRANK: Absolutely, at least in terms of. 
general intelligence. I served in the state 
legislature for eight years and saw that 
the people who left the state legislature 
and went to Congress tended to be the 
people you would want to sec do so. 
Holding values constant, I think people 
are well represented. There are some 
notable exceptions, but thats inevitable. 
PLAYBOY: We assume you are referring to 
the congressmen you refer to as “rabid 
Republicans." Do you include Hyde in 
that group? 
FRANK: Henry was especially dogged in 
the impeachment, but I think he con- 
vinced himself. He had the Bridge on 
Ihe River Kwai syndrome. He probably 
didn’t want the job at first, but he got it 
and was a good general 
PLAYBOY: You've already indicated your 
dislike of Bob Barr. You once said that 
you would douse the flames if he were 
on fire but would regret it afterward 
FRANK: There's an old joke about a litle 
Jewish boy in Russia. He sees a man 
drowning and jumps in and saves him. 
The guy says, "Son, you have just saved 
the czar. | am going to give you a wish. 
What would you like?" The boy answers, 
“My wish is that you never tell anybody I 
(continued on page 148) 


WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PLAYBOY? 


He's a man who's plugged in. Whether composing songs or buying CDs, he wields major market- 
ing clout. PLAYBOY men spent nearly $500 million on audio equipment last year—more than the 
readers of Rolling Stone and Spin combined. Every month, PLAYBOY delivers almost 4 million men 
who listen to music, which is 1.2 million more than the total like-minded men of Esquire, 
Spin and Stereo Review. PLAYBOY—isn't it time you listened? (Source: Fall 1998 MRI.) 


67 


115 3/16 


$6 


By Larry DuBois 


REMEMBER SITTING in a hotel ballroom in early 1993, when 
the Dow Jones industrial average was at about 3000, 
listening as the manager of one of America's largest 
mutual funds shocked his audience by announc- 
ing: "Dow 10,000 by the year 2000." Nobody believed him. 
The general feeling among his polite questioners seemed to 
be that he had taken leave of his senses. Stocks more than 
tripling in seven years? No way. As it turned out, he was just 
about right on the money. But not even that visionary saw that 
the market was about to become a national obsession. Who 
would have believed that millions of Americans who had nev- 
er watched so much as a soap opera would become passionate 
fans of CNBC, watching nothing but stock market news from 
morning till night? Who could have predicted the impact of 
the Internet? Even Bill Gates was late seeing that one. 

In the Nineties, the volume of stocks traded on the New 
York Stock Exchange and the Nasdaq market has more than 
quadrupled, from a few hundred million shares a day to 
nearly 2 billion—and occasionally more. It used to be that 
anyone who wanted to trade a stock called his broker and 
paid a commission steep enough to discourage even adven- 
turous souls. Then came discount brokers. Next came the In- 
ternet. Now anyone can sit at home and click a mouse and 
buy and sell IBM or Microsoft for a commission that amounts 
to lunch money. 

And that was just the prelude to the next great wave: day 
trading. Using sophisticated software leased for a few hun- 
dred dollars a month, some brave (or foolhardy) pioneers 
(estimates range from a few thousand to tens of thousands) 
are now linked electronically into the same computer systems 
used by the giant brokerages on Wall Street. Day traders 
compete directly with the so-called market makers 
for the quick profits to be made as stocks blip 
up and down. Forget investing. For 
day traders, as an ad on CNBC 
says, "an hour and a doy traders 
half is the long 
term.” Ideally, they're 
out of stocks altogether 
before the market clos- like a video game. 
es, ready to start fresh the 
next morning. Hence the 
tide day trader. Holding a 
stock, any stock, overnight is a 
definite no-no. As onc of them but you can 
says, "Don't ever let a trade turn 


into an investment." get rich 


play the market 


it’s dangerous 


MO MOT 


-1 11/16 4114 -9/16 705/8 -17/16 


COLLAGE BY CHRISTIAN NORTHEAST 


PLAYBOY 


70 


What follows is the account of one 
guy in his 305 who started day trading 
just after it all began, about three years 
ago. Steve Poulter worked as a televi- 
sion reporter on the East Coast after 
college. Then he realized that network 
stardom was going to require years of 
in small towns he didn't 
ve in, so he moved home to 
Salt Lake City. He switched to day trad- 
ing after a couple of years asa success- 
ful stockbroker. He's been doing it ever 
since, living a quietly comfortable life 
as he builds his trading bankroll. By 
now Poulter regards himself as an old- 
timer in a new business, and says that 


ofa TV, so I can watch them both at the 
same time. 1 sit in a comfortable chair. 
If I walked you into the room where 1 
work, you'd think you were in an of- 
fice. I won't even bring in coffee or 
juice. Spilling that on my keyboard in 
the middle of a trade is the last thing I 
need. I cat away from where I work. 

I turn on CNBC and CNN to see 
what happened overnight in the Asian 
markets and what's going on domesti- 
cally. I check out a few websites to gath- 
er information (the one | use most is 
Briefing.com). to see which stocks are 
splitting, that sort of stuff. I use Silicon 
Investor (www.siliconinvestor.com) for 


ИНЕТЕ 


Tools of the Trade: Thanks to computer software dubbed Level II, the 
day trader has access to the same up-to-the-second information avail- 
able to the market makers on Wall Street. He can, for example, moni- 
tor the activities of many stocks, displayed in the two quadrants on the 
left of the computer screen shown above. He can simultaneously focus 
on one, such as Doubleclick Inc., and track trades as they happen, see 
what the morket makers are offering to buy and sell DCLK and follow 
price movement and valume of sales before he makes a decision. 


he's committed to it as a career. Here is 
Steve's story: 


My first rule is that I'm showered 
and dressed before I sit down in front 
of my computer, because if I roll out 
of bed and go online half awake in my 
T-shirt and shorts, I'm just asking to 
get hammered. I assure you that the 
professionals who are making markets 
in stocks at Goldman Sachs and M 
Lynch aren't sitting there half asleep 
in their T-shirts and shorts. They're 
dressed for business. If I want to com- 
pete with them, I have to take it as seri- 
ously as they do. 

So I'm dressed and at my worksta- 
tion about 45 minutes before the mar- 
ket opens. My monitor is set up in front 


тШ 


news about tech stocks. Then I go into 
the day trader chat rooms to see which 
stocks people are talking about. Day 
traders are a tight-knit group. 

There are good and bad chat rooms. 
In the bad ones people are hyping 
mostly junky stocks that sell for $1 or 
$2. If you try to hype anything in thc 
good chat rooms, they will kick you 
ош. Most of the good ones offer a free 
introductory service, but if you want 
to get into the heavier stuff, you have 
to subscribe. I see what the other day 
traders are doing, and that's important, 
because their trading action influences 
the price of stocks. They're plugged in- 
to all sorts of news sources, and as soon 
as they get news, they post it. That puts 
you a few minutes ahead of most peo- 


ple—and a few minutes is all you need 

If you live in the Midwest or on the 
West Coast, you could trade for an 
hour before you go to work. That's a 
good deal, because if you can hold a job 
while you're learning, it takes a lot of 
pressure off your trading. 

There are about 50 stocks that day 
traders track. The stocks that are driv 
ing this craze of day trading arc the 
same companies that make it possible 
for us to do this: Cisco, Dell, Microsoft, 
Compaq, 3Com, Yahoo, Sun Micro and 
Internet stocks. All the usual suspects 
Day trading exists because of their 
beautiful new technology. Who ever 
thought that a guy could live anywhere 
in the world and be hooked right into 
the market alongside the Merrill Lynch 
trading desks on Wall Street? I have а 
friend who day trades from his ranch 
near Devil's lower in Wyoming and 
another one who sits on the back porch 
of his mansion making trades on his 
laptop. He said a while ago that this 
damned day trading was getting in the 
way of his golf game. 

Just before the market opens, I 
check my e-mail. It comes from—how 
can I say this?—a damned guru. A fat 
buddha. Even day traders have gurus. 
But this one's good. He gets up even 
earlier than I do and studies even more 
news sources. Finally, I check out 
which stocks the market makers are 
looking to buy, which ones they want 
to sell and how they re tinkering with 
prices in the moments before the mar- 
ket opens to the public 

I'm seeing this on a Level И screen. 
1 use the software from Maverick Trad- 
ing in Salt Lake and run my trades 
through them. Level II gives me ac- 
cess to Nasdaq-only information—live, 
streaming data—that you never sec if 
you go online with a discount broker 
such as Schwab or E-Trade. They work 
fine for what they do, but they're just 
showing you a bid price and an ask 
price—Microsoft is at 149% at 149%. 
They're not showing you how many 
market makers want to buy or sell how 
many shares of a specific stock. If I see 
50 market makers trying to sell Mi- 


than 150 right now. There 
at that price. If a lot of market makers 
are offering to buy Microsoft at 149, it's 
going to be tough for it to go below 
that. There's support at that price. Day 
trading is about Icarning to spot those 
small, likely movements in pricc—and 
trading them to your advantage. If you 
want to move in and out of stocks fast, 
you need Level II software. If you 
don't have the information the market 
makers have, then day trading is a gam- 
ble that the house always wins. If you 

(continued on page 118) 


“H didn't work out. We both wanted to see 
women." 


*Licking chocolate off Karen 

Finley reminds me that the 

First Amendment is always in danger 
unless everyone follows our example 
and does something about it.” says 
"Politically Incorrects" Bill Maher 
(tasting danger himself. below). 
"So do something, peoplel 

Find an ass and lick candy off it!” 


O HER FOLLOWING she's the Lady of Godiva, Wilhelmina Wonka, the best thing to 

happen to chocolate since Nestlé added the crunch. But artist Karen Finley s cocoa- 

loco fame goes back nearly a decade. It was in 1990 that her one-woman perfor- 

mance piece We Keep Our Victims Ready so irked U.S. senator and perpetual party 

pooper Jesse Helms that he encouraged the National Endowment for the Arts to 

pull the plug on Finley's funding. Among the rants, chants and poctry, Finlcy's 
show bad included a segment in which she coated her naked body with chocolate as a 
symbol of degradation. That's what triggered the Helms attack, setting in motion Finley's 
decade-long battle with the NEA over the issue of decency—a fight that she lost last sum- 
mer, just in time for her new show, Return of the Chocolate-Smeared Woman. As a public ser- 
vice, here is your backstage pass to a Karen Finley frolic, with the king of the pol 
incorrect, Bill Maher, providing the Hershey's kisses. Cheers 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY STEPHEN WAYDA 


In addition to performance artist ond lightning rod for the for right, Finloy's résumé includes author (her most recent book: Shut Up 


and Love Me), actor (she was Tom Hanks’ doctor in Philodelphia) ond musicion (she has colloboroted with Sinead O'Connor). As for 
nudity in her work, she says, “1 am concerned with the power of looking. Being nude, | am like the art.” Sweeter words were never spoken. 


i hired a mohster’s 
son to work the farm. 
things didn’t work out 


the way i expected 


he kid drove up in a char- 

treuse sports car. Convert- 

ible. He arrived with the top 

down, his dark hair wind- 
blown, a small gold ring in his right 
ear. When he stepped out of that car in 
my driveway, wearing blue jeans and 
a red T-shirt, my 16-year-old daugh- 
ter went ghost pale and leaned back 
against the wall by the living room 
window. I was in the kitchen making 
breakfast, scrambling eggs in a pink 
bowl with a wire whisk. I could see 
my daughter's back, and beyond her, 
through the window, Chad Barnnett, 
the youngest son of a well-known 
criminal. He was tall—six-one, maybe 
six-two—broad-chested and muscular. 
I had agreed to give him a job for the 
summer. We lived in the boondocks 
ona small farm where we stabled stan- 
dardbreds from the racetrack ten 
miles away toward town. It was just me 
and my daughter. Her mother had left 
me before Amy had turned three. 

“Oh my God," Amy said when she 
could finally speak. “Is that him?” 

"Seems likely." I put the eggs down 
on the stove and joined her at the win- 
dow. Chad appeared to have decided 
he was at the right place. He pulled a 
lightweight jacket out from behind the 
front seat, slipped it on and started up 
the walk to the front door. 

Amy bolted for her room. It was a 
little after nine and she'd been out of 
bed for an hour, though she hadn't 
showered and cleaned up yet. She 
stopped at the stairs and pointed to 
me emphatically. “Do not tell him Pm 
up,” she stage-whispered. “Tell him 1 


PAINTING BY BRUCE WOLFE 


FEEKYRGOY 


80 


was out late last night and I'm sleeping 
in.” She charged up the stairs two at a 
time, like a little kid, her pale-blue, 
wrinkled sleepshirt billowing out be- 
hind her. 

I went out to meet him, and whatev- 
er anxieties I had about housing the 
son of a gangster dissipated quickly. He 
had a sweet smile and the kind of good 
looks that charmed even an old guy 
like me, who had essentially been or- 
dered to give him summer work, as 
well as a place to stay. Not that I was ac- 
tually given an order. Ollie Lundsford, 
the trainer who accounted for virtually 
all of my farm’s business, had asked me 
to do him a favor. Every Friday night. 
I played poker with Ollie and a bunch 
of characters from the track, and 1 
saw him just about every day. When he 
asked me to hire Chad, 1 didn’t think 
twice. I hired someone every summer 
anyway. Still, there was something in 
the tone of his voice that suggested an 
urgency to the request that couldn't re- 
ally be refused. "I need you to do me a 
favor," he had said—and the word need 
had carried a ton of weight. Chad of- 
fered mc his hand. "Mr. Decgan?" 

I nodded, we shook hands and I in- 
vited him in for coffee. In the kitchen 
he sat at the table and commented on 
the huge copy of Shakespeare's collect- 
ed plays that was propped up and 
Open on the counter next to the stove 
so I could read while I was cooking. He 
asked me if I was reading Shakespeare; 
I told him I was, and he told me he had 
read him for the first time in his Eng- 
lish classes. He was 22 and had just 
finished his first year of college after 
working odd jobs out of high school. 
He liked sports, especially basketball 
and football, both of which he played 
on intramural teams. By the time I 
called up the stairs for Amy to join us, I 
wasn't worried anymore about this kid 
being the son of Jimmy Smoke, which 
is what the papers called his dad. 

“Amy,” I yelled from the foot of the 
stairs, holding the skillet in my hand 
and scrambling her eggs. “Come on 
down here and meet our guest.” 

A moment later Amy came into the 
kitchen wearing apple-green velvet- 
trimmed pajamas that looked more 
like elegant evening attire than some- 
thing you might sleep in. Her shoul- 
ders were bare and her breasts were 
prominently outlined under a flimsy 
camisole before she covered herself— 
to my great relicf—by buttoning a 
matching cardigan. Her hair was 
brushed, and she had makeup on. 

Chad stood up when she entered the 
room, and they shook hands politely. 
“Pleasure to meet you, Amy,” he said in 
a tone of voice downright avuncular, 
which pleased me. 

“Uh-oh,” Amy said, gesturing to- 


ward Chad's eggs, toast and orange 
juice. “I see my father's started taking 
care of you already.” She sat next to 
Chad at the table. “You got to watch 
out for him," she whispered, as if I 
couldn't hear her. “If you let him, he'll 
be tucking you into bed at night.” 

“Amy thinks I'm overprotective.” I 
put her eggs and toast on the table in 
front of her, and buttered her toast and 
dipped it in egg before she figured out 
the joke and slapped my hand away. 

Chad laughed. He said, “You guys 
are pretty funny.” 

“We're a team," I said. “Me and Amy.” 

“Oh, please.” Amy rolled her eyes. "I 
can't wait to get out of here and go to 
college. This is like hell, living in the 
middle of Nowhere, USA. You know 
how far you have to drive to get to a 
decent music store? Two hours. You 
know 

"Amy," I said. "I'm sure Chad wants 
to hear about how miserable your life 
is.” 1 picked up Chad's plate and ges- 
tured for him to join me. "Time to see 
the farm.” 

Outside, the early summer weather 
had turned the land into an expanse of 
mud and grass. Everything that wasn't 
green was brown and muddy—and a 
lot of what was green was muddy too. 
Things would remain that way until 
July. when the heat finally baked the 
ground dry. In the anteroom. two pairs 
of galoshes stood upright and waiting. 
1 picked up my pair and directed Chad 
to a closet, where old galoshes and 
boots were piled in a corner. "I hope 
you don't mind mud,” 1 said. “You'll be 
living with 1t for the next month.” On 
the brick walk, 1 looked up and drew in 
a deep breath of fresh air and let the 
sun warm my face. "So," 1 said, when 
he came up beside me, "you have a 
girlfriend?" 

“Several,” he answered, grinning in 
a way that was supposed to be a be- 
tween men thing, as if he expected me 
to pat him on the back for being such a 
hotshot 

“ТИ show you the barns first,” I said. 

Chad followed along quietly while 1 
gave him the tour. He seemed troubled 
by the mud, which he sank into up to 
his calves at one point, muddying his 
clean denims. There were a handful of 
fractious racehorses on the farm, and I 
pointed them out to him first. At the 
stud barn, we stopped in front of His 
Majesty's stall. HM was the worst of the 
lot. one,” I said, pointing to HM, 
who had come to the front of the stall 
to check out Chad, “stay away from 
him. I'd put him down if it was up to 
me, but Ollie insists on keeping him." 

Chad moved to the stall. “He doesn't. 
look mean." he said. "He doesn't look 
any different from the others." 

"Take my word for it," I said. I 


moved him along. 

Just out of the barn, he stopped sud- 
denly and looked around, as if he were 
actually seeing the place for the first 
time. He looked up toward the moun- 
tain ridges, which were already lush 
and green, and his cyes followed the 
satiny folds of hollows and rises down 
to the green pastureland of the farm, 
which was divided and enclosed by 
white fences. Inside the farm's corrals, 
horses grazed lazily. 

"Not a bad place to spend your sum 
mer,” I said. “As long as you don't mind 
working some.” 

"I don't mind,” he said. 

At his cabin, he leaned against the 
doorframe to pull off his boots. 

І opened the door for him. "It's 
hardly luxury," I said. "But it's cozy 
enough." 

He looked though the doorway at 
the single bed with its brass headboard, 
at the oval, cord rug in the center of 
the wood floor and at the red-and- 
white checked curtains over the w 
dows on the back and side walls. "It's 
nice," he said. "It looks good." 

I opened an old ball-foot armoire I 
had dragged over from the storage 
barn and cleaned up a few days earlier. 
“This is your closet," I said, and then I 
pointed to the bathroom, which was di- 
rectly across from the bed. “I thought 
about putting a door on the bathroom 
for you, but then I figured, it's only you 
in here, so" 

Chad nodded. "Be fine." 

"OK, then. I'll send Amy to get you 
for lunch." I started for the door. 

"Mr. Deegan," he said, stopping me. 
"I didn't mean, before, what I said 
about having girlfriends. . . . I didn’t 
mean to sound like some sort of lover- 
boy or something. It's not like that.” 

"That's good,” 1 said, "because —" 
I was standing in the doorway and 
moved back inside the cabin and closed 
the door. "Because Amy's at that age 
now where she's still a kid but doesn't 
want to be one anymore. It's a danger- 
ous age for a young girl. 

“1 understand,” Chad said. "You 
don't have to worry about me." He 
brushed his hand through his hair. “ГИ 
tell her I have a serious girlfriend." 

"Good." I said. "Because, don't tell 
her 1 told you this, but ——" I hesitated 
a moment, not certain 1 should contin- 
ue. I said, “She hasn't even had a first 
boyfriend yet. She'd be mortified if she 
knew I told you that, but it’s something 
you should know. It's because we live 
out here in, as Amy says, Nowheres- 
ville. Still, she thinks she knows things, 
but she doesn't know anything yet.” 

"Like I said," Chad touched his 
heart, as if swearing an oath. “You have 
nothing to worry about from me." 

(conlinued on page 142) 


"How about if we stick you in a rocking chair and call it 
Whistler's Mother?" 


e have nothing against 

department stores. 

There is probably no 

better place to find a 

full designer collec- 

tion (not to mention 
sportswear). It's all about brand identi- 
ty—you find the designer you like, then 
go to the corner of the store that features 
yards and yards of his or her line. Lately, 
though, taking pride in buying just one 
label seems like the easy way out. Lost in 
the Armani mania and Karan craze are 
traditions of the haberdashery. Our ap- 
proach this year is to serve as your per- 
sonal shopper—to remind you of the 
PLAYBOY style. Men with taste should 
think about their entire ensemble. They 
should feel comfortable mixing labels 
and wearing suits of different cuts—and 
personalizing every outfit. The single- 
breasted suit, for example, is still going 
strong. Manufacturers have softened the 
look by taking the high-button stance of 
a three-button jacket and lowering the 
top button. You can take it a notch fur- 
ther by rolling down the lapel and us- 
ing the middle button only. With a nod 
toward British stripes and checks, 
it's smart to combine lightweight sum- 
mer suits with plaid shirts. Add a pocket. 
square and a patterned tie and you've 
struck a balance between sophistication 
and daring. Easy, right? It's summer, but. 
that doesn't mean you have to sweat. 


A rumpled khoki cotton suit might 
look good on a commuter, but 
there's no need to pine for the 
crabgrass frontier just yet. One of 
the sweetest variations on the 
theme is the three-button suit at 
left. It's made from a wool-silk 
blend by Kenneth Cole ($495). 
The plaid shirt by Robert Talbott 
($145) is off-white ond has French 
cuffs. Nothing sets off the ton bet- 
ter than a gold tie by Studio by 
Fumagalli's ($48) ond o linen 
pocket square by Robert Talbott 
($125). At right, the tropical wool 
of this CK Calvin Klein number 
($650) has visual depth otypical of 
summer suits. The parquet check 
sport shirt by Alfred Dunhill 
($150), jacquard tie by Boss Hugo 
Boss ($95) and pocket square by 
Robert Tolbott ($125) give it 
added grovity. The timepiece is by 
Hugo Boss Walch. 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY CHUCK BAKER 
GROOMING BY SCOTT SUMMERS FOR BRADLEY CURRY MANAGEMENT 
WHERE & HOW TO BUY ON PAGE 133. 


Several ways lo make the most out 
seersucker: Going top-of-the-line, os. 
this Hickey-Freeman suit ($695), is a 


($33), both by Paul Fredrick, look ri 
bert Talbott pocket squore ($12: 
red Dunhill watch ($1150) provi 
rs of style. It's a physically light 
that's undeniably masculi 


Here's a term to repeat: super 120. It de- 
scribes the heft of the wool in this Hugo 
Boss suit ($825). Summerize it with a shirt 
that shows off your eye. Yes, you can wear 
ginghom in the city—this shirt by Alfred 
Dunhill ($145) is one of the strongest moves 
you can make this year. The tie by Paul 
Fredrick ($33) and pocket square by Robert 
Talbott ($65) will have admirers thinking 
hip, not hick—just be sure not to burn the 
back of your neck ot the beach. 


trout, tarpon, ze 


OME GUYS don't fish. May- 
be Dad was a brain sur- 
geon who never had time 


to take you to the shore. Or perhaps 
Uncle Harry took you—three o'clock 
wake-up call, smelly night crawlers, 
bobbers floating interminably"1£ you 
were lucky, there were stringers full of 
crappies to be garroted, gutted and 
scaled. And now that you're a grown- 
up, maybe sailing around a swamp full 
of dead trees in a bass boat isn't your 
idea of relaxation. 

Consider fly fishing. Wading a clear 
mountain stream, gracefully arcing a 
line over the head of a waiting rainbow. 
Fly fishing is athletic and artistic, phys- 
ical and intellectual. It's solitary and 
absorbing. It touches the primal in- 
stinct but is ecologically friendly. No 
kill required. In fact, if you're interest- 
ed in a fish dinner, don't take up fly 
fishing. Go to a restaurant. 

OK, so you want to try it. But you're 
intimidated—the double haul, mend- 
ing line, knots to tie, a million bugs to 
identify, techniques to master, equip- 


ment to acquire. Don't despair. Making _ 


a decent cast is a thousand times easier 
than driving a golf ball straight. 

All you need to get started is to know 
which kind of fish you'd like to catch. 
Then pick up a suitable rod and rcel 
with the right line on it, a few basic flies 
in a matchbox, a pair of high rubber 
boots, nail clippers and proper sun- 


SPORT 


calm—whatever you fish for, here’s how to 2 it in 


B 


glasses (preferably with polarized lens- 

es to cut glare). You will also need a 
" leader—a piece of transparent line be- 
tween the end of your fly line and the 
fly. These are scamless tapered won- 
ders of modern technology that almost 
refuse to tangle. Learn a couple of 
knots by reading the back of the pack- 
age the leader comes in. Practice with- 
outa fly on the line in your backyard or 
at the park. Then це on a fly and find 
some water. 

For those of you who have difficul- 
ty doing anything without instruction, 
there are scores of how-to books, vid- 
cos and CD-ROMs that make learning 
a game. For those who struggle with 
the self-teaching concept, there are 
loads of great one-, two- and three-day 
fly fishing schools. With fly fishing be- 

oming increasingly popular on the 
taff side, who knows? You may hook 
D more than a trout in one of 
is ions. Or, once you pick out an 
u nt to fish, you can always 
who's ready to show 
e. proper fly and 

the corre nique. To help you 

along, we've listed a few to-die-for des- 
{ tinations from Alaska to the Yucatan, 
all guaranteed to transport you far 
from the concerns and stress of every- 
day life. And that's what a man's sport- 
ing life is all about. So go ahead. Step 
into the stream and let fly fishing take 
you someplace special 


Y GAR Y С О LE 


(5) Wear a hat to shode 


(4) A good your face, bu remember, 
pair of polor- only o greenhorn stores 
ized ШЫ flies on his heod. 
es enables you 
lo see fish in. №. 
безше (6) There ore tons of 
tools la hong on your 
vest. The only one you 
(3) Fishing / need is a pair of nail 
vests are по! ИХ dippers. 
required, but "4 = 
they help N 
you look 
the part. 
(7) Bamboo Ay rods 
N ost more thon 51000. 
They're beautiful, 
(2) Creels moke but they don't cost os 


great props or well os cheop- v 
Бш in er graphite rods. N 
sine o - 

monger would ~, 


keep а traut, уси N 
don't need one. 


(1) Even rhough 
you're nol going to 
keep your catch, o net 
helps yov to handle 
ond release fish with- 
‘out injuring them. 8 Неве ав 
| inexpensive, easy to 
pock ond sufficient 
for small stream 
fishing. Felt-bot- 
tomed soles provide 
solid footing on slip- 
pery rocks. 


Opposite (top, center and bottom): Use this 
Steelhead Wet Fly (52.50) to hook steelheod— 
roinbow trout that migrate to sea or live in 
lokes belore entering rivers to spawn. To lure 
boss, go with the Wicglelegs Frog (57) or Bass 
Duster Popper ($3). Right (top ond bottom): 
This Cockroach ($4.50) vill tempt tarpon, ond 
Копей will go nuts for Crazy Chorlie (S2 50). 


“ishing is 
better than 
reading about 
fishing. Howev- 
er, a suitable body 
af-water may not 
always be handy, so 
books can provide the vi- 
carious experience of wetting a 
fly. Plus, there's always the 
chance you'll pick up a useful tid- 
bit along the way. Hardcover. Pa- 
perback. Glorious colar photos. 
Diagrams and charts. It’s all 
there for the reading. We suggest 
starting with your prey. An An- 
gler’s Guide to Fish (DK) is an il- 
lustrated paperback that offers 
fips for snoring more than 450 
breeds of fresh ond saltwater swimmers, as well as 
the best tackle and bait io use for each. One of the 
best all-around tomes is Tom McNally's The Com- 
plete Baok of Fly Fishing (Ragged Mountain), which 
covers everything from fly-costing basics to tech- 
niques for a wide variety of situations. Once you've 
mastered the skills, pick up Prospecting for Trout by 
Tom Rasenbaver (Delta) or Lefty Kreh's Advanced Fly 
Fishing Techniques (Delta). Rosenbaver gives valu- 
able insight into what's happening beneath the sur- 
face EI how it will affect yaur fishing success. Kreh 
explains how to spot fish before they strike and how 
to hook them properly when they do. Another in- 
formative how-to—Fly Fishing for Trout in Streams 
(Cowles Creative)—provides all the background in- 
formation you will поса to loarn the techniques for 


ou don't need to go to school to learn 

to fly fish. But if you're not the self- 
teaching type, a day or weekend session at 
a fly fishing schoal will prepare you to tie 
a knot, make a cast without tangling your 
line and walk into a tackle shop without feel- 
ing intimidated. There ore scores of schools 
around North America. One of the most papular 
is the original Orvis school in Manchester, Ver- 
mont. A weekend cours: ludes classroom wark on 
everything from knot tying to selecting the right flies 
1o how to wade in a river. There are practice sessions 
on Orvis' casting paols and a trip to Vermont's Bat- 
tenkill River, where the trout are almost always 
smarter than the fishermen. Price for the two-day 
session is $345, which includes instruction, lunch, 
fishing license and the use of equipment. Orvis will 
also hook you up with accommodations in the area, 
with hatels offering rooms at special group rates. 
Orvis also hosts schools in Evergreen, Colorado, Tal- 
lahassee, Key Largo, Caeur d’Alene, Idaho, Chat- 


upstream, cross-stream and down- 

stream angling. Traut & Salmon (Lyons 

Press) {5 more eloquent than educa- 
tional. The book's charming narratives 
pay tribute to a dozen af the world's 
top waters for trout and salmon fishing, 
each accompanied by beautiful pha- 
tographs taken by R. Valentine Alkin- 
son, a frequent contributor to Travel and 
Leisure, Sparts Afield and other outdoor 
mogozines. Want to see beautiful fish- 
ing spots without getting out af your 
chair? Take a look at Seosans af the Yel- 
lowstone, by Kim Leightan, or Seasons of 
the Bigharn, by George Kelly, both from 
the Great American Rivers series (Willow 
Creek Press). These boaks feature pho- 
tographs that practically set you on the 
banks of twa magnificent rivers as they change with 
the seasons. Watermark (Lyons Press), by Grant Mc- 
Clintock and Mike Crockett, offers beautiful portraits 
of some of North America's famous costern fly fish. 
ing rivers. Flashes in the River (Willow Creek Press) is 
an American fly fishing odyssey written by Ed Gray 
with paintings by watercolarist Arthur Shilstone. 
Gray's essays are also featured in another Willow 
Creek hardcover, Shadows on the Flats. This time, 
pointer Chet Reneson provides the artwark, a won- 
derful vision of the poetry and grace of fly fishing the 
shores and lagoons of the Bahamian flats. And final- 
ly, if you're up for some computer angling, Soltwater 
Fly Fishing (ValuSoft) is a Windows 95 CD-ROM that 
lets you chase down 14 species of virtual fish. Now, if 
only casting with a mouse would prep you for the 
real deal. 


York. For details, consult orvis.com or call 
800-548-9548. Want to get your signifi- 
cant other hooked on the sport? L.L. Bean 
offers a two-day fly fishing workshop for 
women. It also organizes three-day courses 
($425) that include gear, lunch and even a hat. 
Call 888-552-3261 to enroll. Out West, try the Cali- 
fornia School of Fly Fishing. Husband and wife Ralph 
and Lisa Cutter will take you into the Sierra Nevada 
far an intense learn-by-doing trout-fishing experi- 
ence. Cost of the two-day semiprivate session is 
$449, which includes equipment and lunch. Call 
800-588-7688. And finally, fisherman extraordinaire 
Jerry Knight runs a school for beginners and interme- 
diates ct Ponte Vedra Beach near Jacksonville, Flori- 
do. It’s a great place to catch sea trout and tarpon 
while you hone your casting skills. Jerry will give you 
private lessons, or you can take a ane-day crash 
course and call yourself a fisherman by the time the 
sun sets. Call 904-285-5411 for details. 


he best way to experience 

the joy of fly fishing is to do 
it in a spectaculor place under 
ideal circumstances. There ore 
plenty of spots in North Americo 
ond beyond that qualify, and 
we're sharing our favorites. Visit 
апу one of these destinotions and 
you'll be hooked. 


Crystal Creek Lodge, Di 
ham, Alaska. One of the 
fishing lodges in North America, 
Crystal Creek attracts fishers of 
rainbow trout, arctic char, Dolly 
Varden, groyling and five species 
of salmon. Guides take you wad- 
ing and driffing; when further 
mobility is needed, jet boats are 
provided. There are even heli- 
copters to transport you to re- 
mote locotions. 


Baja on the Fly, Southern Boja 
Mexico. Go for dorodo, tuna or 
billfish off Bojo in the game-fish 
capital of the world. Custom tours 
include special instruction for 
salt-water angling. 


Pond's on the Miramichi, Lud- 
low, New Brunswick, Fish for 
Atlontic salmon and native brook 
trout on nine miles of private 
spring-fed pools. 


Elk Creek Lodge, Meeker, Col- 
orado. This destination offers 
world-class trout fishing on o 
20,000-acre working cattle 
ronch. Though you could spend 
months here and still not fish 
all the hot spots, the lodge offers 
on optionol fly-out to Utah's 

n River. 


Captain Danny Watkins, 
Clewiston, Florida. With Cop- 
tain Danny as your guide, you 
can fish for torpon in the Gulf of 
Mexico's inshore waters and for 
redfish, trout, snook and bass on 
Lake Okeechobee. 


Key West Angler, Key West. 
Would you believe the guys be- 
low are fly fishing for shark? They 
ore, with the help of Key West 
Angler. This 4000-square-foot 
woterfront outfitter works with 30 
of the best Lower Keys guides, 
who spe- 


AS 


ciolize in fly fishing for 
tarpon, bonefish ond 
permit on the flots, and 
blockfin tuna, king 
mackerel and sharks 
offshore 


Eagle Nest Lodge, 
Hardin, Montano. 

There's superior fly fishing \ 
"the last best ploce,” and this is 
olso a superior spot to rest your 
head after a day of it. 


Firehole Ranch, West Yellow- 
stone, Montana. Fish for trout i 
the famous Madison, Yellow- 
stone, Gibbon, Firehole ond Hen- 
ry's Fork of the Snake, then re- 
turn to your cabin, build a fire 
and kick bock in deluxe comfort. 
The Firehole Ronch can occom- 
modate up to 20 guests in ten 
cabins. And there's o benus: Kids 
under 12 aren't cllowed. 


SeaClusion Villa, Yucatan. Situ- 
oted on Ascension Bay ond con- 
sidered one of the top fishing 
sites in the world, this hidden villo 
offers occess to permit, bonefish, 
snook and borrocuda. 


WHERE & HOW TO BUY ON PAGE 153 


Geor Tip #3: И 
youre investing 
sigrificont cosh in 
a fly rod, buy o 
solid cose to pro- 
lect your goods. 
Prices range from 
$3010 $125. 

[Look a! the Orvis 
website —orvis. 
com—for some 
Options.) lf you're 
going for big 
prey—as in mor- 
lin or soilfish— 
youll wont to grip 
the rig ol right. 


It combines a 
16. Loomis GLX 

(o piece, Blc foot 
tod, on Orvis Vor- 
Mex 13/14 reel 
овд 3M [Scientific 
Anglers Billfish 
Toper WF135 
(12/13-weight) 
line(S1810). 
Along the bottom 
is thelbest setup 
for hoke-hiting 
torpon; I! teams o 
Soge RPLXi three- 
piece, Moo! rod, 
on Abel Super 12 
reel ond 9M/Sci- 
entific Anglers 
Torpon Taper 
WENE (11 
weigh!) line 
(9130) | 


DRINKING, 

SCREWING, 
DEFYING— 
THE WORLD 


ACCORDING TO 


By Mark Ribowsky 


FOR 12 YEARS, David Wells has been a 
stranger in the strangest of lands—a 
ballplayer with a walrus’ body and an 
outlaw biker's mentality trying to fit in- 
to the game's conservative conventions 
and protocols. He is nicknamed Boom- 
er for the sonic concussion he creates 
when he collides with authority. It 
came as no surprise when he reacted 
negatively to his new status as the Blue 
ays replacement for Roger Clemens 
(Clemens had demanded to be traded 
to a winner, and he was—to the New 
York Yankees for Wells and two lesser 
players.) Wells was so bummed out by 
the trade he could barely wolf down his 
sixth chili dog at lunch. 

"Though routinely at odds with man- 
agers, owners and umpires, he as 
sumed the role of the Yankees’ best 
pitcher during their epic 1998 champi- 
onship drive. Wells had an 18-4 record 
and in 214 innings racked up 163 
strikeouts and 29 walks. That's one 
walk every seven innings. With control 
like that, Wells was primed for his vir- 
tuoso performance on May 17, 1998, 
when he threw a perfect game against. 
the Twins at Yankee Stadium, just the 
15th perfecto in history. In fact, he set 
an American League record by retiring 
37 consecutive hitters between that and 
his previous game. 

Not too bad for a guy who nearly 
blew his Yankce career by getting in a 
bar brawl and breaking bis pitching 
hand. He was also diagnosed with gout. 
when his foot swelled up as a result of 
his high living. Wells weighed his op- 
tions at the time: “If the cause is beer, 
I'll go to whiskey. If it’s whiskey. I'll go 
to vodka." 

The Boomer doesn't reform, he 


PLAYBOY 


92 


adjusts, as he explained to writer Mark 
Ribowsky. 

PLAYBOY: The trade really hurt you, 
didn't it? 

WELLS: It was shocking. I had an empty 
feeling. It was hard to let go, because 
New York was my bag, baby. Those 
fans liked me for mc. Didn't matter 
what else I did, they let me do my busi- 
ness. But shit happens. It's a business. 
I knew that a long time ago. I have 
played for a lot of teams and teams 
have released me, traded me or passed 
on signing me. Those were all business 
decisions, and I can look back now and 
take satisfaction that they all screwed 
vp by not going with me. 

илувоу: Did the Yankees screw up by 
letting you go? 

WELLS: Listen, everyone wants a Clem- 
ens. You can't take anything away from 
the way he pitches. Rocket and I are 
both hard-core pitchers, and I'd like to 
be as intimidating as he is, to throw as 
hard. But you know what? He's not the 
savior, ГЇЇ guarantee that. He's not a 
tcam player, he's an individualist. He's 
a desperate man now, dying to win a 
championship. But he's gonna worry. 
about his records, his strikeouts, anoth- 
er Cy Young award. I don't have any of 
that, but I gota championship ring and 
he doesn't. Shit, two years ago he said 
he didn't even like New York, he want- 
ed his family to be in a better place. 
That was a slap in the face. Well, Roger 
Clemens is going to go into the Hall of 
Fame, but he's going to go in empty, 
without a ring. 

PLAYBOY: Aren't you an individualist? 
WELLS: I'm a team player, not a fucking 
individualist. Not on the field. That's 
why we won. We played together, as a 
tcam. We had that chemistry, and we 
had it without Roger Clemens. 
вілувоу: But you have also had some 
stormy relationships with managers. 
weLLS: Only when they didn't respect 
me. It's a two-way street. Actually. one 
of my managers changed my life, 
Sparky Anderson. There's a guy who 
didn't worry about my weight or how I 
look. Sparky taught me the game of 
baseball and let me play, and it's some- 
thing ГИ never forget. 

PLAYBOY: Do you want to kill George 
Steinbrenner for trading you? 

WELLS: George wanted Roger for a long 
time, but I don't think he wanted to 
lose me. George is a wonderful man. 
There were times I could have killed 
him, but that's nothing. People say 
things and, I don't care who it is, when 
they rub me wrong they're going to 
hear from me. George came in after I 
had a bad game once and he told me 
that I wasnt the pitcher he thought I 
was. I told him, "Trade me." He said 
nobody wanted my fat ass and it deteri- 
orated into an argument over who's 


fatter—and 1 still think he is. I love 
him, but I always knew I might have to 
punch George, and it almost got there. 
Hey, it sull might. 

PLAYBOY: What's the biggest difference 
playing in Canada? 

WELLS: It's colder. 

rLAYBOY: Will you commit to staying 
with the Blue Jays when your contract 
is up in two ycars? 

wELLS: They may commit me first. No 
matter where you are, even if it's a 
place you hate, you go out and play to- 
gether. Right now, all I want to do is 
kick the Yankees’ ass when we play. and 
I want to kick the shit out of Roger 
Clemens. 

PLAYBOY: Which is the better drinking 
town, Toronto or New York? 

WELLS: New York is. But now that I 
have a restaurant in Toronto, it's going 
to be the best place on earth to get 
drunk. So plug it, the Indian Motorcy- 
de. Right by the Skydome. 

PLAYBOY: Are you left wing or right 
wing? 

WELLS: I'm left-handed. I stay out of 
politics. I don’t vote. Never voted, nev- 
er will. Politics in America are so fucked 
up. It doesn't matter who votes for 
who. They'll suck your ass until they 
get what they need from you, then say 
fuck you. Why get all pumped up for 
somebody that's going to turn around 
and shit on you? Jesse Ventura is no 
different. He's just another politician, a 
suck-ass with a bald head. 

PLAYBOY: Who do you think is the great- 
est living American? 

WELLS: All of us glorified white trash. 
We're nor just any white trash. We're 
more elite than Paula Jones white 
trash. We're high-profile white trash. 
Howard Stern's high-profile white 
trash. Howard's a scumbag, he's my boy. 
PLAYBOY: Are you an idealist? Do you 
dream of a perfect world? 

WELLS: You can dream all you want, but 
it's never going to happen. All you can 
do is live a day at a time and try some- 
how to find an inner peace. I get inner 
peace on the mound, man. I talk to my 
mother [who died two years ago] out. 
there, because I know she's with me. I 
also get a major inner peace from Me- 
tallica and Van Halen and AC/DC. 
PLAYBOY: You get inner peace listening 
to Metallica's Kill "Em All? 

WELLS: It ain't the words, dude. It's not 
about death and doom. It's the music, 
the sound. It’s balls to the wall. It's tall 
ing to me. That's why I hang with Ed- 
die Van Halen when I'm in Los Ange- 
les, watch him record his music, shoot 
hoops with him. It’s the vibes, man. As 
Iggy Pop says, life is all about drinking, 
screwing and defying. Ain't nothing 
wrong with that. 

PLAYBOY: Was your mother the biggest 
influence in your life? 


WELLS: I was riding Harleys with her 
when I was ten. It wasn't what you 
would call a traditional upbringing, My 
father walked out on us and she raised 
us, but she had her own life, too. She 
hung with the bikers around San Die- 
go. They would be at our house every 
weekend, man. And I wasn't stupid. T 
could con those dudes. They'd sit in 
the stands when I pitched in the Lit- 
Че League, drink beer and bet on the 
games. They never believed I was as 
good as I was, so I'd bet on myself and 
I'd come away with a lot of money. It 
wasn't your typical middle-class life, 
but my mom never let anybody fuck 
with her kids. Her name was Eugenia 
Ann, but she was always Attitude Annie 
to me. That's what it says right there on 
a tattoo on my chest over my heart. 
PLAYBOY: Did you have any father fig- 
ures who helped raise you? 
WELLS: A few. There was a guy named 
Crazy Charlie, he was my mom's boy- 
friend. He really wasn't an inspiration 
in my life, but he did give me some 
great advice. He told me, “Don't ever 
put your fists up without using “em.” 
He was right. Because the other guy 
might use his before you and, boom, 
you're smoked. I met my real father 
when I was 22 after I saw him in a 
dream out of the blue. I saw him liv- 
ingin West Virginia, and that's where I 
found him. We talk, we get along. I 
don't blame him for cutting out. Back 
in the Sixties it was tougher than it is 
now. It won't ever be the same as if he 
had stuck around, but we're friends. 
Well go from there. 
PLAYBOY: So he didn't get tattooed some- 
where on your body? 
WELLS: No. I just gor the five: my moth- 
er—as a three-year-old and the Atti- 
tude Annie one—my grandma and my 
grandpa, and my seven-ycar-old son, 
Brandon. 
PLAYBOY: You were divorced years ago. 
Is marriage a failed institution? 
WELLS: Mine was. I think marriage can 
work, but it takes hard work, more 
than I could put into it. At least my ex- 
wife and I are starting to talk again. 
That's a good thing, because in a di- 
vorce the only ones who suffer arc the 
kids. My son did. I'm still trying to 
make it up to him. 
PLAYBOY: Are you in love now? 
WELLS: l'm content. Sometimes. 
PLAYBOY: Who is the sexiest woman 
alive? 
WELLS: I haven't found her yet. Naomi 
Campbell said on David Letterman that. 
she liked me. She's a great chick. The 
rock stars aren't the only ones who can 
get a supermodel. So can a fat pitch- 
er. And then Winona Ryder, oooh, she 
can give a massage. dude. She can get 
deep. We were hanging out and I said, 
(concluded on page 169) 


"Care to have your timbers shivered?” 


93 


Roel rA Ge 


MERICA IS getting back to its roots. ‘To say nothing of its leaves, bark and flowers. 
In the pursuit of health and well-being, we shelled out close to $4 billion last 


year for plant preparations prized for their medicinal properties. In other 
words, we bought a lot of herbs. 


People who a few years ago might have thought St. John’s wort was a skin 
condition are now convinced it's nature's answer to Prozac, making an extract of 
the yellow flowered plant the fastest-growing herbal remedy in the land. 
‘Trolling health food stores, supermarket shelves and drugstores for ginkgo, gin- 
seng, echinacea and saw palmetto, 


about one third of Americans opt for 


article by 
CARL 
SHERMAN 


the botanical solution to wellness. 
Why the excitement? Many people 
are driven by dissatisfaction with tra- 
ditional doctors and toxic drugs, and 
the desire to take responsi 
their own health. And many herbs 


siressed? impotent? 


sleepless? herbal 
ity for 
medicine has a cure 


promise to do more than just cure 


disease; they promise to make good 


health better. 


for you—maybe 


But with more than 20,000 herbal 


and related products on the shelves, 
there's a lot of confusion. “Patients come in with bags full of herbs, clueless 


about why they're taking them,” says Dr. David Edelberg, founder of American 


Herbs On/ine 


whatever ails you, the plant doctor is just a click away 


The rain forest hos nothing on the Internet when it comes to pro- 
fuse growth. Entering "herbs" in a standard seorch engine is like- 
ly to get you more thon 1000 sites, some good, some bod, some 
downright ugly in their mix of ignorance ond avarice. We recom- 
mend these: ars-grin.gov/duke. Ethnobotanist James Duke 
offers o huge datobose on troditionol herb use ond scientific 
reseorch. ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed gives you access to ab- 
stracts of 9 million scientific popers from the Notionol Library of 
Medicine, including o wealth of herb studies. www.nal.usda. 
gov/fnic/ibids contains citolions and abstrocts of more than 
250,000 scientific articles on dietory supplements, including vito- 
mins, minerals ond herbs. Produced by the Office of Dietary Sup- 
plements ot the National Institutes of Health. walden.mvp. 
net/—tonytork: The Ethnomedicinals Home Page provides links 
to mony sites—some more relioble thon others—devoted to bot- 
опу, herbol studies, nutrition and heolth. 


WholeHealth, a Chicago-based chain of clinics that blend 
conventional and alternative medicines. One survey found 
that only three percent of herb users feel confident in what 
they're doing 

"Most people's knowledge of herbs comes from ads,” 
says Dr. Edelberg. Those who seek to know more risk in- 
formation overload from books. TV specials and hundreds 
of websites that offer a mix of science, traditional lore and 
just plain balderdash. How to separate the hype from the 
hard data? 

‘The use of plants for good health goes way back— 
through 3 million years of human history, according to 
James Duke, a retired USDA ethnobotanist who has studied 
herbs for more than 50 years. The remedies that worked 
were passed along, and virtually all those in current use 
derive from the folk medicine of cultures around the 
world. In fact, more than one fourth of today's prescrip- 
tion and over-the-counter drugs were found by following 
up such leads (the most common example is aspirin, which 
came from willow bark—a traditional pain remedy). 

Unlike drugs, which are generally single chemicals, 
herbs are complex combinations of compounds that often 
work synergistically. “The active principles are diluted by 
other plant material, which makes them milder than con- 
ventional drugs,” says Varro Tyler, distinguished professor 
emeritus of pharmacognosy (the study of drugs from nat- 
ural sources) at Purdue University. This means fewer side 
effects but less dramatic benefits. You ofien must take 
herbs for weeks, if not months, to realize their full effect, 
and they're best for chronic conditions rather than acute 
diseases. 

Many of today's herbs have science as well as tradition 
behind them. But you can't tell from the label. Because the 
FDA regards herbs as dietary supplements and leaves them 
virtually unregulated, just about anyone can call just about 
any nontoxic plant product an herbal remedy. And be- 
cause herbs haven't been subjected to the rigorous tests de- 
manded for drug approval (which can cost half a billion 
dollars), no claims can be made about their effectiveness— 
even if the data arc there. 

"The picture is different in Europe and Asia, where 
alot of research has been conducted and herbs are 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY JAMES INBROGNO 


ر 


= 


96 


pass The Herbs, Pease 


your problem 


the good news the downside 


Sex 


Yohimbe 


Seriovs side effects 
include nausea, vom- 


Source of approved 
drug for erectile dys- 


function, modestly ing and soaring 
effective blood pressure 
Ginkgo biloba Improves blood flow, : Results unclear, 


may restore potency : takes time to work 
and improve mental 


j acuity 


Ginseng Accelerates sexual Its aphrodisiac 
behavior in lab mice, : properties are 
unproven 
Coids and Fit 
Echinacea Shouldn't be taken 
for more than eight 
imulates Immune consecutive weeks 
system 
prostate 
Saw palmetto i Treatment could 


mask infection or 
ment, no serious cancer 


side effects 


Heart Disease 


Garlic 


Sustained consump- 
і tion can lower cho- 
lesterol and 


Possibility of fewer 
dose friends 


d 
pressure 
Sfress 
Kava Reduces anxiety and : Less potent than 
nervousness, few Valium 
sedative effects 
Valerian Good for sleep; ned | Few trials 
off faste 
1 soundly, wake up 
refreshed 
St. John’s wort | Effective in mildto Takes six to eight 
moderate depres- weeks to kick in 
sion, few side effects 
ptriormeance 
Ephedra Good for concentra- | Serious side effects— 
irregı pulse, high 
blood pressure, 
even death 
H mt 
Ginseng Has been shown to : Takes a long time to 


increase aerobic 1 workup to two 
capacity and sharpen months 
1 concentration E 


widely prescribed instead of conven- 
tional drugs. In Germany, a govern- 
ment agency (Commission E) subjects 
herbs to systematic evaluation. After 
weighing traditional experience and 
scientific data, the commission has ap- 
proved more than 300 herbs for use as 
medicines sold in German pharmacies. 
It has turned down 108 that haven't 
stood up to scrutiny. Tyler calls the 
commission's findings "the most accu- 
rate body of scientific knowledge on 
the subject available today.” 

The Complete German Commission E 
Monographs: Therapeutic Guide to Herbal 
Medicines, published here last year, is 
the closest thing we have to an author- 
itative guide on herbs. But this isn't to 
throw softer data out the window. Sa- 
ence has always lagged behind folk wis- 
dom in this department, and knowl- 
edgeable people such as herbalists, 
botanists and folklorists often have use- 
ful information to contribute. 

So what can herbs offer you? Besides 
keeping you healthy, can they help you 
play harder, longer, stronger? Here's a 
rundown on some of the most popular 
remedies. 

If you don't have much use for saw 
palmetto extract now, check back in 
a decade or two. Many men in their 
50s develop an enlarged prostate, mak- 
ing urination more difficult and fre- 
quent. Urinary tract infections and kid- 
ney damage can follow. Seven years 
ago the drug finasteride (Proscar) was 
approved for the condition, but its side 
effects include sexual dysfunction. 

Saw palmetto, a low-lying palm that 
grows in the southeastern U.S., has 
been used in Europe for generations 
and scems to work as well as Proscar. 
An analysis of 18 controlled trials in- 
volving nearly 3000 men, published in 
The Journal of the American Medical Asso- 
ciation last year, found improvement 
equal to Proscar with virtually no side 
effects (other than occasional head- 
aches and stomach upsets) and no im- 
pact on sexual function. 

Scientists have speculated that saw 

palmetto, like Proscar, prevents the 
transformation of testosterone into a 
brother compound that works on the 
prostate. 
“Saw palmetto extract could be con- 
sidered a treatment option for men 
with symptoms of prostate enlarge- 
ment but no complications," says Dr. 
Leonard Marks, clinical associate pro. 
fessor of urology at UCLA. But he 
suggests that men see a doctor first, 
because symptoms such as urinary fre- 
quency could indicate an infection or 
even cancer. 

At any age, you have to contend with 
colds and flu, which explains why echi- 
nacea has become a top-selling herb. 

(continued on page 162) 


"Cameras ready, folks? You never know what's coming up here in the Big Swamp.” 


miss july wants to celebrate her independence 


Just plain jennifer 


HE SHOWS UP at a West Los Angeles restaurant the way she shows up 
most places these days: dressed down in a T-shirt and denim over- 
alls and accompanied by her best friend and roommate, Stacy 
Sanches. The two women share a wicked but inscrutable sense of 
humor and are convinced they'd make great MTV co-hosts. But first, Miss 
July, Jennifer Rovero, has to learn the PLAYBOY ropes from Stacy, th 
Playmate of the Year. 175 a new world for Jennifer, who spent her child- 
hood traveling between Venezuela (where her parents lived, though her 
mother is English), Texas, California and Florida. Evidence on these 
pages to the contrary, Jennifer says she's "just an average girl from Jack- 
sonville who got lucky." But when she adds that she feels uncomfortable 
signing autographs, her friend laughs. "You're a Playmate now,” Stacy 
minds her. "Get used to it." 
Q: Are you ready for the attention? 
A: Well, I've always been an actress. Growing up, 1 acted out things at 
home, always liked attention. When I was 13, I started entering beauty 
contests. They were nothing big, just little local pageants, but I went from 
contest to contest, picking up $500 here, $500 there. [Laughs] I've been in 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY ARNY FREYTAG AND STEPHEN WAYDA 


Ja А hs 
i. hy „а 
и“ чи URN. be 
"m | 
n i ^ 
la 


ҮП 


When Jennifer leaves her apartment, more 
often than not she's wearing her outfit of 
overolls, a T-shirt and the floppy black hat 
she's always borrowing from Stacy Sonches. 
"When people see Jen in anything else," 
loughs Stacy, "the usual reaction is, ‘Oh my 
God, you clean up well.” Jennifer admits thot 
she cleans up—and dresses up—every so of- 
ten, but sorry, guys, she doesn't do it tor just 
anybody. "When it comes to men, I'm picky,” 
she says. “And in a relationship, you hove 

to stond up for yourself and be a strong 
person. Especially if you want it to last.” 


bathing suits way too long. 
Q: And now you're in less 
than that. Are your friends 
in Jacksonville surprised, 
or did they expect this? 

A: My friends in Florida 
always knew I wanted to 
get out of there, so they're 
excited for me. My guy 
friends are freaking. 

Q: Why did you want to 
leave Flori 

A: I like a fast-paced life, 
and Jacksonville is sort of a 
business town. I still love it 
because of my friends, but 
I don't really fit in there 
anymore. Everybody there 
says I've gone Hollywood, 
but I haven't. I have just 
learned a lot of new things, 
and grown up a lot. 

Q: How did you hook up 
with PLAYBOY? 

A: I was at a Hawaiian 


Tropic International con- 
test, and I went up to the 
PLAYBOY people and told 
them they ought to shoot 
in Venezuela, because it's 
so beautiful. And Arny 
Freytag, the photographer, 


said, “Why don't we shoot 
you there?" So it was like 
a Forrest Gump thing—l 
just wandered into it. At 
first I didn't take it serious- 
ly. Anybody who knows ше 
will tell you 1 don't take 
anything very seriousl 
But then I realized that it's 
really hard to be chosen by 
PLAYBOY, and I should be 
proud ofit and get serious 
about it. 

Q: Where do you want to 
go from here? 

A: My goals are to be an 
actress and a model. But 
when it comes down to it, 
nothing is as important as 
being a mom. Family is 
really important to me. I 
keep forgetting that I'm 
only 20 years old—I guess 
I don't need to rush things. 


“You wouldn't think a mom 
would be excited obout this, 
but mine's been telling ev- 

erybody, ‘Jennifer's going to 
be in PLAYBOY!" She knows | 
have a head on my shoul- 

ders, so she's proud of me." 


PLAYMATE DATA SHEET 


NAME: 


BUST: 34 WAIST: 24 HIPS: 34 
HEIGHT: gr WEIGHT : lað /| . 


BIRTH pare: 19/12/78 _ suernenace: ——A0Stin, Texas SE 
memos: Tò write Short stories. T have a lot of 


_ Material in my head, T need 4p get П 
— An paper. —— 


TURN-ONS: 


who have a strong sense of individvality. 
TURNOFFS : People who are close-minded or who 
E ur a 


WORDS TO Es BY: Дуда Каха avoid any 
and. jenlousy. Clear your head 


I JUDGE A MAN BY: 


L 


Trying to model Surfer girl ae 4 


PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES 


Russian President Boris Yeltsin, French Presi- 
dent Jacques Chirac and President Bill Clin- 
ton were wrapping up a summit in a five- 
star Parisian restaurant. "Le café?" the waiter 
asked. 

“Oui,” they all replied. 

The waiter looked at Chirac 
monsieur?" 
Oui," Chirac replied 
“Le vodka?" he asked Yeltsin. 
“Oui,” Yeltsin answered. 
Finally, the waiter looked at Clinton. “Le 
key?” 
If you wouldn't mind,” Clinton yelled, 
“please don't mention that woman again!” 


“Le cognac, 


As a husband and wife were taking a weekend 
drive in the country, the wife suddenly said, 
“Honey, stop! Let's do what we did here 40 
years agu!” 

The husband parked the car and they ea 
gerly jumped out. The woman backed against 
a fence and her husband began making love to 
her. Soon she was screaming, gyrating and 
shaking uncontrollably, and when it was over, 
much to her husband's surprise, she fainted 

Alter he revived her and got her back in- 
to the car, he said, "Darling, you sure never 
moved like that 40 years ago—or any time 
since that I can remember.” 

“Forty years ago,” the wile said, gasping for 
breath, “that fence wasn't electrified!” 


vorite Amish summer pastimes 

+ Drinking molasses till you heave 

e Blowing past Dairy Queen on a bitchin’ 
Clydesdale. 

e Sleeping till six a.m 

* Driving to Reading and kicking some Men- 
nonite butt. 

© Buttermilk keggers 


A golfer hit his drive on the first hole 300 
yards right down the middle. When the ball 
came down, however, it hit a sprinkler and 
bounced into the woods. Muttering angrily to 
himself, the furious golfer went into the woods 
and smacked a two iron, which hit a trec and 
rebounded, hitting him in the temple and kill- 
ing him. 

Ar the pearly 
big book and sai 
that right?" 
les, I was,” the newcomer 
“Did you hit with any distance? 
"D. he boasted. 


tes Saint Peter looked at the 


I sec you were a golfer, is 


1. 


1 got here in 


THIS MONTH'S MOST FREQUENT SUBMISSION: The 
blonde's boss asked her to report on her de- 
partment's progress in dealing with the Y2K 
problem. “I hope I haven't misunderstood 
your instructions," her memo read, "because, 
to be honest, none of this Y to К problem 
makes any sense to me. At any rate, I have 
finished converting all the months on all my 
calendars so that the year 2000 is ready to go 
with the following new months: Januark, Feb- 
ruark, Mak and fulk—and the following new 
daks: Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, 
Thursdak, Fridak and Saturdak." 


What happened when the blonde tried to give 
her boyfriend a blow job while he was driving? 
"They both fell off the motorcycle 


A guy told his doctor that he hadn't been able 
to have sex n months and asked 
for a prescription for Viagra. “I'll give you a 
sample to see il it's worth spend: "Es money 
for a prescription," the medic i 
pill now, go home and tell me if it work 

Almost immediately the fellow noticed re- 
sults. By the time he got home the Viagra had 
kicked in, but his wife had gone sho 
called the doctor. “What do I do? My wife's not 
home. Only the maid's here." 

“Well, have sex with the maid to see if it 
works." 

"But Doc," the man moaned, “I don't need 
Viagra for the maid," 


27 ور‎ 
Aly аа 


А: a senior citizen was driving down the free- 
ng. His wife was on the 
she said, "I just heard on the 
car going the wrong way on 


news that there’ 
280. Please be care 

“Hell,” Herman "it's not just one 
car. There are hundreds of them!” 


Рилувох cusssic: Harry approached a pr 
tute and asked, "How much for a blow jol 
“A hundred bucks.” 
“OK,” he said, and then began to jerk off. 
“What the hell are you doing that for?" 
“For a hundred bucks you don't t 
going to give you the casy one, do you?" 


k lm 


Send your jokes on postcards to Party Jokes Editor, 
PLAYBOY, 680 North Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, 
Illinois 60611, or by e-mail to jokes@playboy.com 
$100 will be paid to the contributor whose submis- 
sion is selected. Sorry, jokes cannot be returned 


“I understand he's considered some kind of pioneer in the film business.” 


111 


112 


n 


FOR A 


THIN 


EIGHT WOMEN TURN SEDUCTION UP A NOTCH 
BY LORI WEISS 


worked with this woman, Hilary, who was a dead ringer 
" for Pamela Anderson. She had big fake boobs. She even 
let me feel them once because I was curious about breast im- 
plants. 1 knew she was bisexual, and even though I had nev- 
er been sexually attracted to a woman, I wanted her. One 


3 


nen 
y e E 
i. 


f 
\ 


a. 
E 
= 
a 
= 

EI 
| 


night, me, my husband and Hilary went out drinking. Out 
of nowhere, Hilary told me that I was beautiful. She touched 
my face and lips. She put my hands on her breasts. 

‘A woman seduced you and you didn’t flip out? 

No, I kind of liked it. And remember, we'd been drinking. 
When we got to the next bar, she started kissing me. Then 
we got hot, feeling each other up and licking one another. 

What kind of bar was this? 

It vas dark. People were gawking, but 
we didn't care. In the car on the way 
home Hilary went down on me. 

What was your husband doing? 

Driving. Getting into it. There was a 
lot of three-way kissing. Eventually the 
three of us went to our house and got in- 
to bed. She kissed me and licked and ca- 
ressed my breasts. Then my husband got 
behind her and started having sex with 
her while she was eating me out. 

How did you feel about that? 

It was weird, but 1 know he loved it. 

How did it end? 

The way that it’s supposed to end: We 
all came. 


|| used to work as a stripper to pay for school. The guy I was 
11 dating had no clue about my extracurricular activities. 
Most people didn't know. One night, I overheard him and 
his friends making plans to go to a strip club. I knew the 
owner, so I arranged to be there. I put on a black G-string, a 
sce-through top, thigh-highs and six-inch heels. I told the 
DJ which song to play and I hit the stage dancing. My boy- 
friend was shocked. I stared at him like a lion stalking its 
prey. Then I did a round of lap dances. It turned him on to 
see how much the other guys wanted me. 

When he couldn't 
take it anymore, I 
led him into the 
VIP room, stripped 
off my shirt and 
rubbed my breasts 
in his face. He tried 
to touch me, but I 
pulled away. Then 
I stripped off my 
G-string and started 
10 grind on his lap. 
I wanted to know 
how hard his penis 
was. I kissed him 
on his neck and his 
chest—but just teas- 
ingly. It was the ulti- 


mate foreplay. 

And then? 

We had built up so 
much anticipation at the strip club that I couldn't wait to get 
back to his house and fuck him. So that's exactly what I did. 


"m all about being kinky. One night, my boyfriend want- 
| ed me to cook him a candlelight dinner, but that's not my 
style. Then I thought, I'll be his 
dinner. While he was at work, 
my friend came over and tied 
me up naked on the table. ] was 
like a sexual tablecloth. I had 
opened a bottle of wine and left. 
a note on the door that said, 
"Come in. You're just in time 
to eat.” When my boyfriend 
walked in, he looked like he 
was about to indulge in the 
best meal he'd ever had. I was 
submissive; he was totally in 
control. He worked his way 
around the table for the next. 
two hours, tying me up in dif- 
ferent positions and having sex 
with me. 


JE or my husband's 50th birthday, he told me he wanted 
two women. It got my wheels turning. I wondered how 
I could fulfill his fantasies without feeling uncomfortable. I 
decided to throw a birthday party for him, including a few of 
his friends and a stripper. I had never been to a strip bar, but 
I assumed a stripper would come in with a boom box, do a 
little dance and take her clothes off. Simple as that. 
So what happened? 
She started the music and handcuffed 


- Christmas, so everybody was on the road. We hadn't 
Ê had sex in a few days. We couldn't keep our hands off 
each other. He put his hand down my pants. Then I 


started masturbating. I'm surprised he didn't crash 
the car! He kept saying, "Oh, my God, I can't believe 
you're doing this!” 

Could people in other cars see you? 

Oh yeah. I don't have a poker face when I'm getting 
myself off. That exhibitionistic element was really ex- 
citing. So there 1 was, totally into it, touching myself 
and rolling around in the front scat. I have to say, it 
made the ride go by much faster. 


TIC e were living in France. One afternoon we were 
coming home from work on the train. My 
boyfriend wondered out loud, "What would happen if 
we had sex right here?" So we did. It was a spur-of-the- 
moment thing. I straddled him in front of everyone. 
Sure, people gawked at us, but no one said a word. 
No one? 
It must be a European thing! I couldn't believe it ei- 
ther. But it got us thinking. On our next train trip across 
Europe, we had sex in every country, at every border 
crossing. 
Did you find any spots where no one would see you 
doing it? 
No. It was usually 
someone. The first time we weren't sure what would hap- 
pen, but we were a hit. We drew a crowd of 20 people. We 
figured, If they re going to watch, we're going to put on a 
show. We went from oral sex to every position you could 
imagine. When we finished, some guy in the crowd offered 
ine а tigarcue! In Czecioslovakia, 1 was told by the bus des 
guard that I couldn't continue giving my boyfriend a blow 
job unless I gave him one too. 

And? 

T rocked both their worlds that night! 

(concluded on page 146) 


him to a chair. Within 30 seconds she 
had her clothes off and was shaking her 
boobs in his face. Then she rubbed her 
crotch and ass all over him. The guys 
were going nuts. My husband's eyes al- 
most popped out of his head. 

His friends must have thought you 
were a great wife for doing that. 

Oh yeah, I was the queen that night! 
But there's more. Next, she asked for a 
dollar bill and stuck it to his forehead— 
my husband was sweating big time. How 
did she get it off? With her tits! Then he 
opened his mouth, like he was ready to 
chomp on one of them. I had to leave 
the room. I knew it was all in fun, but if 
he had put her tit in his mouth, I would 
have died! Was I intimidated? Yes. Was I 
uncomfortable? Absolutely. The whole 
time I kept reminding myself, This is a 
treat for him. 


7 e were driving on the Beltway in 
Washington, D.C., on the way 
back from his parents' house. It was 


ILLUSTRATIONS BY ISTVAN BANYAL 


113 


SIX WONDERS OF THE TWO-WHEEL WORLD 


TARE A 


hoosing the height 
of the sissy bar 
and whether to go 
with a saddle or a 
banana seat were 
once the toughest 
decisions a guy had to make when 
buying a bicycle. But today's two- 
wheelers are specialized—for 
racing, touring, careering down 
mountains, etc.—and are made of 
materials that require a degree 
from MIT to decipher. Hint: the 
more space-age-sounding the 
metals, the lighter, faster and pric- 
ier the ride. Here are six of this 
season’s coolest picks. 


EZ 


Right: Get past the odd- VA 
ball looks of Trek's R200 e 
recumbent bike and you'll 


discover a mode of trans- 

port that’s particularly guy 

friendly, if you catch our 

drift. This jumbo recum- 

bent combines 40-gear 

combinations with an alu- 

minum frame that folds to 

fit in a car trunk ($1650). 

Opposite, top to bottom: 

While the Harley-David- 

son Velo Glide won't emit 

the classic rumble, it has 

that same "hog" head- » 
turning appeal. Only 1000 > y » 
of the four-speed cruisers ^ * 
аге being made. Features -- 
include a Rockshox sus- á 
pension and optional 

leather saddlebags 

($2500). Looking for a - 

dream racing bike—price 

no object? Check out the 

Litespeed Liege, a 16- 

pound titanium marvel 

with 18 speeds, top-shelf 

Campagnolo Record com- 

ponents and a carbon fork 

(about $6000). 


CRUISING жые 
e 


RACING 


Above: Bruce Gordon Cy- 
cles’ slick BLT (that's short 
for basic loaded touring) is 
an entry level road bike 
with such high-end features 
as a chrome-moly frame, 
full Shimano LX compo- 
nents and hand-built 
wheels ($1255, including 
the front and rear racks). 
Opposite top: When blur- 
ring the landscape on a 
single-track trail, you'll ap- 
preciate the dual suspen- 
sion design of Cannon- 
dale's Super V Raven 700. 
This mountain bike boasts 
Shimano LX/XT components 
plus a frame made with an 
aluminum core covered in 
carbon fiber to cut weight 
($2400). Right and opposite 
bottom: The Mongoose 
Transport SX is the ultimate 
commuter vehicle. Its sturdy 
aluminum frame and fat 
tires can handle the tough- 
est urban (or suburban) ter- 
rain. Plus, the bike folds 
down to half its size in only 
a few seconds, making it an 
equally stellar plane, train 
and automobile traveling 
companion (about $500). 


TOURING 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY RICHARO тш! 


DURL SUSPENSION MOUNTRIN 


PLAYROY 


118 


Day Tradar9 

(continued from page 70) 
have it and learn how to interpret it, 
you'll see some of the same clues the 
market makers see about which way 
prices are likely to move during the 
next few seconds or minutes. 

When the market opens, I know the 
three or four stocks that provide my 
best opportunities, but then I have to 
sit on my hands. 1 don't want to buy or 
sell a stock short at the opening. That's 
when the market makers are filling all 
the orders that have flowed in over- 
night from brokers around the world. 
That price movement tells you what 
investors are doing. The opening is 
for investors, not day traders. The buy- 
ing pressure from those orders may be 
enough to move a stock up for five 
minutes, but after the orders are filled, 
the stock may sag. 1 don't want to take 
my shot until I know what I'm shooting 
at. If I commit at the open and I'm 
wrong, it hurts. Investors won't even 
notice. They bought the stock and 
they'll hold the stock. Big deal what 
happens in the first five minutes. But 
for a day trader there's nothing more 
painful than a loss first thing in the 
morning, because then you're not even 
trying to get ahead, you're trying to 
catch up. 

I'll wait until I see which way the 
market is going and which stock has 
the most buying or selling pressure. ГИ 
wait until my heart and mind give me 
the signal: This is the stock and this is 
the moment to buy it. ГЇЇ set my limit 
price, what I'm willing to pay. I always 
buy at limit, because if 1 enter a market 
order, I'm at the market maker's mer- 
cy. I want to pay my price, not his. 

Once I make my decision, I click the 
mouse. Instantly! Fill out your order! 
Press the button! The best traders 
move in milliseconds. If I want a stock, 
I don't hesitate. If it’s going up, I want 
to own it now. If it’s going down, I want 
to sell it short now. I'm playing the mo- 
mentum. I don’t care about the compa- 
ny's future. I don't care about its next 
earnings report. I don't even care if the 
stocks going to be up next week. I care 
about whether it's going to be up in the 
next three minutes. 

It ticks up a quarter point or half a 
point, and I'm geuing ready to sell be- 
cause I don't know how long that mo- 
mentum is going to last. The Level II 
screen shows me who's buying and sell- 
ing how much and gives me a minute- 
by-minute chart of the stock's move- 
ment that day. After a while, you learn. 
how to read your feelings. A lot of it 
goes against what we've heard all our 
lives. I don't want to buy at the lowest 
possible price. If I think a stock is about 
to move up, I want to see it start before 


I buy. I don't want to be the first one at 
the party. I want to catch the momen- 
tum after it's already begun. 

Once 1 enter my trade, | get my con- 
firmation in about two seconds. That's 
the key difference between day traders 
and the millions of people who are just 
trading stocks online. They may buy 
on Monday and sell on Wednesday or 
next month, if it takes thc stock that 
long to go up. 1 call that position trad- 
ing. They may not get their confir- 
mations for several minutes. That 
wouldn't work fora day trader, because 
he might not want to hold the stock 
that long. If I buy a stock at the same 
moment that a regular person—not a 
day trader—buys it from his discount 
broker, there's a good chance ГИ have 
sold it before he knows for sure that he 
bought it. 


hn 415 


Most people lose at day trading. I've 
scen dozens of day traders come and 
go. I have seen people lose $5000 or 
$10,000 in their first few days and then 
decide they don't want to do it any- 
more. And I made the same mistakes 
everyone else makes. 1 lost money at 
first, but I didn’t get blown out, because 
I'm bullheaded. 1 was determined to 
make a lot of money in this life, so I 
stayed around long enough to learn 
from my mistakes. I think you need a 
minimum of $25,000 trading capital 
to start—preferably $50,000. And the 
success rate is going up. People are get- 
ting some time under their belts using 
the software. The teaching is better. 
There are some good books on how to 
use these powerful new tools 

How can you tell if you might qualify 
as a day trader? Can you stand losing 
some of your money before you learn 
how to make money? Can you stand 
not making a lot of money when you 
begin? When I started, my two major 
goals were not to try to get rich quick 
and not to lose everything. When I 
teach people how to day trade, 1 always 
tell them that their goal as a beginner is 


not to make money; it's to learn how 
not to lose money. If I want to sit down 
in my T-shirt and shorts and outsmart 
the market for $900,000 and retire 
next year, I figure my odds are about 
one in a million. I have had some spec- 
tacularly good days. Yahoo went my 
way once, for about $3500 in a matter 
of minutes. But that was a combination 
of luck and timing; it was one trade, 
one day. I didn't outsmart the market, 
even though that's the kind of glossy 
story you might read in the press. I 
don't believe those articles about day 
traders who start out making $600,000 
a year. 1 say, send me their tax returns. 
If you want to start off making $10,000 
one day and losing $5000 the next day, 
go to Vegas 

Did you see the movie Rounders? It’s 
about professional poker players—a 
home-run hitter, and the flashy guy. 
who doesn't last long. But there was 
another character who said, "I've got a 
mortgage, Гуе got child support, Im 
just here to earn a living." And he did. 
They called him a grinder. Well, I'ma 
grinder. That's the attitude you have to 
have if you want to stay in the game. If 
I'm asurgeon, I'm not going to get rich 
and retire next year. Why would 1 ex- 
pect to do that as a day trader? I'm up 
against the smartest people, with the 
best training, the best information and 
the Lest technology. 

But I can make a good living and be 
my own man as a day trader, as long as 
I don't try to do too much. I'm just go- 
ing to buy or sell short—one stock, 
and I'm going to be correct about that 
one stock. Or ГЇЇ cut my loss before it 
hurts. Then ГЇЇ buy another stock and 
be correct again. I don't try to be a mu- 
tual fund, buying 40 stocks at once. I 
just stick to making small, quick profits. 
But I had to learn how to make $100 a 
day, after commissions, before I could 
learn how to make $200 a day. 

1 know day traders who swing big- 
ger sticks than I do. I've seen some 
make $50,000 in one day. They bought 
a few thousand shares of lower-priced 
stocks—$8 to $12 a share—and rode 
them up a few bucks each and sold 
them. The rule is: Let your winners 
run and cut your losses. I'm still learn- 
ing about letting my winners run. 
That's an art form, knowing when to 
take your profit. I've left tens of thou 
sands of dollars on the table, and I'm 
not talking about difficult profits; I 
mean easy money. I'd picked the right 
stock and it was going my way, and I 
just covered my position too soon 

But the most successful day traders 
aren't the ones who are best at picking 
winners. I know а lot who are good at 
that. The most successful traders are 

(continued on page 150) 


"Why do you suppose it's only the kids who spot us?" 


119 


its crude 
¡Us huge 


and we (overt 


by mark hidis q 
Withresearcm ly ҮШҮҮ 


Real Name: Steve Williams 

Atfillation: WWE 

Need to Know: Locked in an ongoing, 
megalomeniecal, Rosdrunner-versus- 
Coyote-like fight with WWF owner Vinos 
McMahon. Took his neme from the old 
TV show “The Six Million Dollar Man.” 


Reel Name: Bill Goldberg 

Affiliation; WCW 

Need to Know: Wrestling'e neweet eu- 
perstar. Also, for those keeping ecors, 

e nice Jewish boy, eon of a nice Jewish 
doctor. Possibly the only wrestior In his- 
tory who wrosties from right to left. 


Ree! Neme: Dweyne Johnson 
Affilietion: WWF 
Need to Know: Former college football 


Oddly, olso olwoys refers to himself in 
the third person. 


Real Name: Merk Callawey 
Affillation: WWF 

Need to Know: Dresses in bleck, heeds 
the Ministry of Derkness and givee the 
WWF a hint of mock Setanism. Famous 
for caokot motchos, Finishing move: the 
‘Tombstone Piledriver. 


Real Name: Page Falkinburg 
Affiliation: WCW 

Nead to Know: Wes Jay Leno's tag- 
team pertner during a new low in 
celebrity eelf-humiliation. ls dyslexic 
end therefore may not realize Goldberg 
Wresties from right to left. 


Real Name: Mick Foley 

Affiliotion: WWF 

Need to Know: Tumed e cult following 
into a WWF title reign. Wrestle under 
three different persones (e.K.e. Cactus 
Jack ond Dude Love). Femous for being 
thrown off a 20-foot cage. 


Real Мете: Terry Bollea 
Aftitiation: WCW 
Need to Know: His $5 million pS year 
‘contract le the most lucrative in profea- 
sional wrestling. Locks homs with 
George Hamilton In competition for 

_ world's worst fake tan. 


Need to Know: At 74* and 800 poundo, 
he complains: *I wes wetohing one of 
my matches on tape. My wife says, 
“Honey, when you stand next to Lex 
Luger, you look like a tub of shit.” 


Reel Nemo: Jemes George Jenos 
Affiliation: Reform Party 

Need to Know: Govemor of Minnesota. 
In the ring, he wes known for outlandish 
attire and outregeoue etatements. In 
the Statehouse, he's meneged to tone. 
own hie werdrobo. 


the wwf's sexiest superstar—and our favorite wrestler—tells what goes on behind the scenes p 


The Burden of Being a 
Champion: “The championship belt 
weighs at least 20 pounds—I can't 
wear it, it just slips down to the 
floor—and they cost about $10,000 to 
make, so you carry it with you on air- 
planes. When airport security sees it 
in the x-ray, they go crazy. My hus- 
band [wrestler Marc Mero] is the 
worst. He takes it out, holds it up 
over his head 
and shouts, 
Tm the 
WWF's 
Wom- 
en's 


Champion of the World" Jt embar- 
rasses me to death.” 

Signs of the Times: “It’s get- 
ting so that everyone in the crowd is 
holding a homemade sign. Lately, 
I've seen a lot of Ready, Willing and 

Sable and Sable Got 
Milk signs. The one 
Marc and I got the 
"biggest kick out of 
was, Marc Mero is 
a wife beater—be- 
cause that's all he 
can beat.” 
Locker 
Room 


Practical Jokes: “Before the match is 
a loose, fun time. Some of the guys 
play football and stuff. But there's a 
lot of practical joking, too. You'll find 
your bag locked shut with a strange 
padlock. Or they'll just hide your bag 
right before your match. Owen Hart 
is probably the worst practical joker 
of the group. You always have to keep 
your eye on Owen." 

Brushes With the Rich and 
Famous: “We've met everyone: Hank 
Aaron, David Copperfield, Geraldo 
Rivera, Muhammad Ali. Michael 
Jackson wanted to know where I got 
my costumes made. Jerry West of the 
Los Angeles Lakers came backstage 
once with a poster for me to auto- 
graph. I said, ‘Who would you like 
this to?’ and he said, kinda sheepish- 
D» me.’ And Jimmy Carter told us 

is mother, Lillian, had been a big 
wrestli and he used to watch 
wrestling from the White House. No 
wonder the country went to hell— 
he watched too much wrestling.” 


The Numbers 


[hey, they don't lie] 


8 Of the top 15 Nielsen-ranked cable TV programs 
(March 1-7,1999), number that were WWF or 
WCW programs. 


y 0 Number that were news, conventional sports, 


ramas or concerts. 


Ц 
93,113 шун paid attendance for indoor 
sports-entertainment ovent (Wrestlemania 111 
in 1989). 


29,316 Average major league baseball atten- 
dance іп 1998. 


2.3 MION approximate mero paying 
fans who attend a wrestling match in one year. 


90 SEGONdS Tne tok wrestenania xv 


to sell out Boston's Fleet Center. 


8.5 MINULES Approinate tine n taves 7 


light from the sun to reach Earth. 


СВ E mtm 


in the ring, fights are seripted. 
Outside the ring, real tempers 
flare. who's right? who's 
wrong? you make the call! 


Stone Cold Steve Austin (formerly 
Stunning Steve Austin) says he was 
unceremoniously fired from WCW 
by Eric Bischoff. 

Austin’s side: “I was in WCW. I was 
talented in the ring, but they didn’t 
have a whole lot for me to do. I called 
a meeting with Eric Bischoff and 
said, ‘I don't see you guys going in 
any direction with me.’ Bischoff told 
me right to my face, ‘Steve, you go 
out there in those black trunks and 
those black boots, and there just 
aren't a whole lot of ways we can mar- 
ket that. If you can't think of some- 
thing better to do, you need to call 
Extreme Championship Wrestling or 
New Japan and see if they can give 
you a job.” WCW sent me to Japan. In 
a match, I jumped offa top turnbuck- 
le and tore a triceps. I wrestled an- 
other two and a half weeks with a torn 
triceps. When I went home, I had 
surgery and 
was out of ac- 
tion for six 
months. 


Did the 
ИСИ 

blow it with 
Stone Cold 
Steve Austin? 
He became 
the WWF's 
biggest stor. 


"That's when I got fired.” 

Bischoff's side: “That's a flat-out 
lie. That is bullshit. I can show you 
the footage of probably the last five 
appearances Austin made here at 
WCW. He wasn't in black tights and 
black boots. He was wearing glitter 
and long blond hair. The torn tri- 
ceps? That's another lie. He blew out 
his knee. Steve had been on the in- 
jured list for quite some 
time. I was paying him 
alot of money. We had 
tried to call Steve sev- 
eral times to get an 
idea of his rehab sta- 
tus. We were getting a 
lot of evasive answers. 
My feeling, whether I 
was right or wrong, 
was that he wasn't be- 
ing forthright about his 
injury. I wasn't in- 
clined to continue to 
pay him six-figure 
money while he was sit- 
ting at home pouting. 
So I got rid of him.” 
Steve Austin or 
Eric Bischoff? You make the call! 


WCW's Ric Flair fails to 
show up for a live WCW 
telecast and is sued by 
Bischoff. 

Flair’s side: Flair wanted 
time off to see his ten-year- 
old son in an amateur 
wrestling competition. He 
claimed he received permis- 
\. sion from the proper WCW 
\ authorities to miss the Monday 
Nitro telecast in question. Flair 
\ , confronted Bischoff during a 
scripted tiff on WCW's Monday 
|! Nitro and shed real tears. 
Bischoff's side: Bischoff 
claims Flair never received 
written permission to miss the 

Nitro telecast. “Ric firmly be- 


eium) 
QUEE à 


lieves to this day that he had every 
right to no-show an event. I firmly be- 
lieve he doesn't have the right to no- 
show an event. And despite the fact 
that we were working together, we 
still litigated that issue. We have 
since negotiated a settlement and now 
we're moving forward.” 

Ric Flair or Eric Bischoff? You 
make the call! 


“Creative differences” 
forced Vince McMahon 
to unceremoniously 
oust WWF champion 
Bret Hart. 

Hart's side: Hart, 
unhappy with the in- 
creasingly racy WWF 
story lines, made his 
displeasure known 
publicly, prompting 
McMahon to call for 
his resignation. Hart, 
a Canadian, claimed 
McMahon demanded 
he surrender his title 
in Canada. Hart was 
averse to the idea, fearing a loss 
would ruin his hometown image. 
McMahon and Hart ultimately agreed 
that, rather than losing outright on 
native soil, Hart would save face and 
surrender his belt and title because of 
a disqualification. 

McMahon’s side: During Hart's 
match with Shawn Michaels, McMa- 
hon decided to alter the bout's prede- 
termined outcome. While Hart was 
on the mat—but not pinned—the ref- 
eree, under orders from McMahon, 
signaled the bell to ring, ending the 
match. Hart suffered the ignominious 
defeat he had feared and engaged 
McMahon in a real postbout back- 
stage screaming match, which was 
caught by a documentary crew and 
later aired on A&E. 

Bret Hart or Vince McMahon? You 
make the call! 


Michael Moore 


PLAYBOY'S 


200 


corporate america's most vocal critic on foreign 
shoes, private schools and owning stock 


M ichael Moore has made himself 
less welcome in America's corpo- 
rate boardrooms than a hostile takeover offer. 

General Motors was among the first tar- 
gets of Moore's sharp left jab. In his 1989 
film Roger and Me, Moore pursued Roger 
Smith, then CM's chairman, for an expla 
nation of why he was shutting down plants 
in Moore's hometown of Flint, Michigan. 

The son of a GM employee, Moore veered 
off the path to the assembly line, first to a 
Catholic seminary when he was 14. But he 
didn't remain there long. “The hormones 
kicked in,” he recalls. 

After high school, Moore edited an alter- 
native newspaper known as the Michigan 
Voice and was later lured to San Francisco 
for a short, unhappy stint as editor of Moth- 
er Jones. His return to Michigan set the 
stage for his career in film and television. 

He has continued lo wage class warfare 
through his Emmy Award-winning TV Na- 
tion and his best-selling book, Downsize 
This. On his laiest television venture, The 
Awful Truth, Moore again pursues titans of 
business and industry. 

Contributing Editor Warren Kalbacker 
caught up with the man in the ball cap who 
travels in the left lane. Kalbacker reports: 
“Moore manages to be opinionated and con- 
genial at the same time. He's capable of pro- 
ducing a belly laugh while referring to The 
Wall Street Journal as ‘the enemy's tip sheet." 

“Moore insists he's uneasy with his New 
York residency but lives there because the city 
is the center of the media business. Tue had 
to get adjusted to such a conservative red- 
neck place,’ he says. Tue never lived in a 
city with a Republican mayor." 

“And, of course, the man remains a firm 
believer in the benefits of government inter- 
vention in the economy. He contrasts Michi- 
gan's ten-cent bottle deposit with New York's 
nickel. "You don't see any litler in Michigan,” 
says Moore. ‘It’s all picked up.” 


1 


pLavpoy: Your breakthrough film, Rog- 
er and Me, presented a jaundiced view 
of Flint's relationship with the auto in- 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY DAVID ROSE 


dustry. How close did you come to hav- 
ing a career on the assembly line? 
MOORE: I quit the first day. The dad of 
my best friend in high school worked 
in the personnel department at Buick. 
He told my friend and me that he 
could get us jobs for the summer after 
our senior year. We said, "Great mon- 
ey. Save for college." But we had seen a 
lot of people who took that summer job. 
and didn't leave it because the money 
was so good. They never went to col- 
lege. The day I was supposed to go in, 
the alarm clock went off and I lay there 
in bed. My dad was downstairs getting 
up to go to his job at the AC spark plug 
factory. He worked hard for us so our 
lives could be better—so we wouldn't 
have to get up at 4:30 in the morning 
to go to work at the factory. And 1 de- 
cided at that moment that I wanted to 
do something else with my life. 


2 


PLAYBOY: The New York Times recently re- 
ported that Ford workers who are as- 
sembling sport utility vehicles at the 
plant in Wayne, Michigan are earning 
a hundred grand a year with overtime. 
Doesn't that sound like a job worth get- 
ting up early for? 

MOORE: The workers deserve every pen- 
ny that they get. They make a good liv- 
ing and they should because it’s hard 
work. Besides, people believe they'll 
get out to the Hamptons quicker in a 
bigger truck. Henry Ford understood 
something important—if you don't pay 
workers enough money to buy the 
product, the product will eventually 
die. You ve got to create the consum- 
er class to make your profit. The foun- 
ders of General Motors—Mott and Du- 
rant—realized that if they did not give 
this vast working class some of the ac- 
coutrements of wealth, sooner or later 
those people would revolt. In Flint, 
back in the Thirties, GM built five pub. 
lic golf courses, most of them next to 
the factories. The company set it up so 


our dads would leave the factories at 
three in the afternoon and go play a 
round of golf. 


3 


PLAYBOY: So the United Automobile 
Workers sometimes can be a better bet 
than the media industry unions you 
belong to? 

MOORE: The Directors Guild is a great 
union. Its primary concern is for the 
creative rights of the artist. It stopped 
movie colorization. No studio execu- 
tive can enter the editing room until 
ten weeks into the editing process. it’s 
completely your film and you have the 
right to deliver a cut. But we also have 
great health care. No co-pay! Your 
neck's stiff? “Go get a massage. We'll 
pay for it.” The Writers Guild is weak, 
it's ineffective, it doesn't support its 
members and it'll always back down in 
the face of adversity. The one good 
thing that it has done is get the writer a 
better credit than the producer. The 
UAW is better. No union I belong to 
can match it. If you are a UAW mem- 
ber you get the real deal 100 percent 
Blue Cross, not an HMO. One hun- 
dred percent coverage for dental and 
eye care. If you need a lawyer for any 
kind of civil case, from a divorce to 
your will, it's free. Four weeks paid va- 
cation. You usually have a paid week or 
two off in the summer during model 
changeover. There's maternity leave 
and day care. The UAW will help you 
pay for college. These are things that 
were fought for over decades. 


4 


PLAYBOY: Were you born to conduct am- 
bush interviews or did you work hard 
to develop your style? 

MOORE: Being raised in an Irish Cath- 
olic household, you're instilled with a 
sense of right and wrong, socially and 
morally—a (continued on page 152) 


125 


Sci-Fi TV 


Fifty years ago, on June 
27, 1949, the DuMont Net- 
work declared, “Let there 
be Captain Video." The 
program's prop budget to- 
faled $25 per week, but 
that was enough for an op- 
ticon scillometer, an atomic 
rifle, a trisonic compen- 
sator and a cosmic ray vi- 
brator. Science fiction tele- 
vision was born. In the 
decades that followed, Star 
Trek cleared the path, Star 
Trek: The Next Generation 
paved the road and The 
X-Files added shoulders. A 
few newcomers, such as 
Blade Squad, which fea- 
tured futuristic police wear- 
ing in-line skates, could be 
as painful on the eyeballs 
as phaser burn. Others, 
such as Matt Groening's Fu- 
turama, keep hope alive. 


AcE PIONEERS 


CAPTAIN VIDEO AND His VIDEO 
RANGERS (1949-55) 

In the 22nd century, Captain Video 
hawks plastic decoder rings. 


Том CoRBETT, SPACE CADET (1950-55) 
In the 24th century, Tom listens to 
his crew bicker as he saves civilizations. 


Space PATROL (1950-55) 

In the 30th century, Commander 
Buzz Corry uses his brainograph to re- 
form evildoers. 


Buck Rocers (1950-51) 

In the 25th century, Buck defends 
Earth from his base behind Niaga- 
ra Falls. 


By Dani¢i Radosh 


Rop Brown or THE Rocker 
RANGERS (1953-54) 

In the 22nd century, Rod battles a 
copyright infringement lawsuit by the 
producers of Tom Corbett. 


FLasH GORDON (1953-54) 
In the 23rd century, Flash b 
lains who have thick Gern 


in unwavering moral code, a Shake- 
spearean star and effects that enhance, 
not replace, great stories. Best episode: 
The Enterprise blows up before the first 
commercial in "Cause and Effect." 


(3) THE PRISONER (1967-68) 
So stylish and cynical you hardly no- 
tice that the best effect is an overinflat- 
cd condom. Best episode: The double 
mindfuck in "The Schizoid Man." 


(A) Star Trek (1966-69) 

The original space Western is rootin’ 
tootin' fun. Best episode: Joan Collins 
plays in traffic in “The City on the 
Edge of Forever.” 


(5) Dr. Who (1963-89) 

An eccentric gadabout traverses time 
and space in a phone booth. Best epi- 
sode: The doctor has a chance to pre- 
vent the creation of his deadliest foes in 
“Genesis of the Daleks.” 


(6) Corp Lazarus (1996) 
In this trippy miniscrics by Dennis 
Potter, scientists 400 years in the future. 


plumb the memo: 
frozen head. 


IES (1983) 
gerbil-eating 


ARK (1978) 

lenry’s attempt to do for sci-fi 

at Get Smart did for spies. The trav- 

els of an intergalactic garbage scow 

with acrew that includes a sai t liousc- 
plant and the ex-Doublemint twins. 


Brack Hoes 


ten worst shows 


(I) Lost IN Space (1965-68) 

In its first year, this show was dreary, 
juvenile, mirthless and insufferable. 
"Then it got bad. 


(2) Ir's About Time (1966-67) 

From the fertile imagination of Sher- 
wood (Gilligan's Island) Schwartz comes 
the story of two astronauts stranded in 
prehistoric times. 


G) Whip Palms (1993) 

"This miniseries begins with a rhinoc- 
eros in an empty swimming pool and 
ends .. . well, if you ever meet someone 
who sat through it, they can tell you 
how it ends. 


(4) GaLactica 1980 (1980) 

Adding a cool year to the title is the 
last gasp of a dying show. It didn't work 
for Knight Rider 2000 or seaQuest 2032, 
and it didn't work here. 


Coptain Video and His 
Video Rangers aired 
live weeknights until 
1955. Richard Coogan 
hosted the first season, 
followed by Al Hodge, 
the voice of rodio's 
Green Hornet (right, 
ar with Ranger Don 


- Hosting). Only two 
Ow episodes survive: 


000000090 
(6) SMALL WONDER (1985-89) 


Precocious daughter is actually an 
android. Wacky! The worst in a long 
line of My Favorite Martian rip-offs. 


(7) THE STARLOST (1973-74) 
An Amish man discovers his home- 
town is part ofan interstellar Noah's Ark. 


(8) Mercy POINT (1998) 
ER meets Deep Space Nine. Audience 
meets coma. 


(9) Woops! (1992) 
A comedy about a nuclear holocaust 
that kills everyone on Earth except a 
ppic, a homeless man, a black а 
tivist, a curvy airhead, a radical femi. 
nist and a nice Jewish boy. 


тєн NIGHTS (1995-97) 
ined X-Files plots, too 
ing on the beach 


$a-Fi 


TRANSPORTER (Siar Trel 
You can get there from here. 


K-9 (Dz Who) 
Loyal, user-friendly portable com- 
puter bundled with its own ray gun. 


OMNI (Voyagers) 
Time-traveling device t 
it's OK to change hi: 


STUN GUN 


) 
g buddies with a fond- 
ks and pop culture. 


CREATE Your OWN 
CLassıc SHOW! 


Millions of miles from 
home, you and your heroic 
crew encounter... 


* a dangerous asteroid belt. 

® а never-before-seen physical or tem- 
poral anomaly. 

e an unexplained power surge that 
threatens to blow your ship apart. 

* a distress signal from a planet long 
thought dead. 

* an unmanned spacecraft that de- 
stroys everything in its path. 


fully zaps a 


e Cadet, storring Fronkie 
Thomos, completes the trifecta of early 
space operas. Astro the Venusian (right) 
became sci-fi TV's first olien character. 


An investigation leads you 
to the surface of an alien 
world where... 


* an evil government rules with an 
iron fist. 

* a primitive people live in the after- 
math of a global war. 

e incorrigible prisoners are deposited 
to fend for themselves. 

e everyone is a little too cheerful. 

ө the entire population has vanished 
into thin air. 

e everything is exactly like it is on 
Earth, yet .. . somehow . . . different. 


You and your crew meet... 


® a seductive woman who turns out to 
be an android. 

© a crusty old-timer who deals 

parts and information a 


computer. 


Just when things SONS 
less, you and your сгеу? 


e overwhelm the computer by feeding 
it data that do not compute. 

ө discover that the evil aliens have a fa- 
tal reaction to the common cold. 

e teach the planet's inhabitants the im- 
portance of personal freedom. 

9 resolve everything with stock footage 
of a large explosion. 


Safely back on your ship, you 


and your weary crew... 


* look forward to some peace and qui- 
et for a change! 

* come to grips with your realization 
that nothing is at it seems. 

® wish there could have been anoth- 
er way. 


A E» 


"You're a sweet guy, Flash, and Рт really sorry, but you've never 
seen Ming with his shorts off.” 


129 


> 
mn 
x 
z 
© 
a 


132 


in these surnrner garnes, 
silver and gold 
have nothing on bronze 


OU WOULDN'T expect a little bottle 

to make such a big noise, but the 

story of Hawaiian Tropic is the 

stuff of legend. Thirty years ago, 

Florida high school chemistry 
teacher Ron Rice began working on a 
recipe that would tap nature for its in- 
gredients rather than rely on chem- 
icals. His winning elixir—a magical 
mix of avocado, coconut oil, bananas, 
aloe and a few other goodies—soon be- 
came as emblematic of summertime as 
sand in your swimsuit. But Rice wasn't 
through. Next, he marshaled an army 
of Hawaiian Tropic women, a jaw- 
dropping corps that would travel the 
world—from Cannes to Red Square— 
advertising his products’ success in liv- 
ing color (mostly bronze). In 1995, 
PLAYBOY published a portfolio of these 
sun goddesses that shows off more tan 
than you see on the average bus stop 
billboard. Ever since then you've been 
telling us you want an encore. Who are 
we to argue? 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY ARNY 
FREYTAG AND STEPHEN WAYDA 


re. a уч 
ча =. 


Du 


Icd 


— Б. 
em к ¡A - 


* 


Surf's up. At right, maki 
waves with head-to-toe 

tans are (from lef): North = 
Carolina's Brooke 

Richords, Californians 

Jennifer Braff and April 


Abraham and Florida’s er 


Johan Berube. (That's — — 
them again, top left. We 
leave it to you to figure 

out who's who.) And 

here's Brooke in action 
(bottom left), wowing the 
crowd at the Miss Hawei- 
ian Tropic U.S. face-off in 
Oahu. Eat your heart out, 
Miss America. 


fe 


OF HAWAIIAN TRÓPIC 


DUM 8; 


ЧК, A 


Corrie Flaska (le) is a New York 
model wha loves beach-bumming, 
raller-skating and shopping. But 
mostly, Carrie is hell-bent on “mak- 
ing the most out of life.” Jennifer 
DeYonker (right) works far General 
Motors, where she's a member of 
the vehicle design support team. 
(No chassis jokes, please.) And 
Tenniel Gacoyon (below and bat- 
tam) hails from Honolulu, where 
she models and tends bor. Her 
hobby: being pampered. 


Hawaiian Tropic vet ond PLAYBOY Playmate (August 1997) Kolin Olson (above) 
hails fram Hot Springs Arkansas s herself a "small town girl with 
big dreams.” 


wha C CS Los Vc w 
ture and snow skiing and arse to attend the University of Sauthem California 
Low School. At right: That’s Jennifer with the flawer and Tanna an the runway. 


April Abraham and Brooke Richards (far left) prove that even for 
fierce competitors in the sunshine business, lotion is thicker than 
water: [That's April ogein, bottom left, bending over bockward to 
pleose.) At left, a gaggle of Hawoiion Tropic sun worshipers give 
the babes of Boywatch a run for their money; at right, а beaming 
bikini-ond-lei contingent takes time out from the festivities for a li 
Не bit of publicity. They are (from lefi}: Charlotte Arlt of Houston; 
Tenniel Gacayan (our previously pictured Honolulu honey); the 
ubiquitous Brooke Richards; and Angie Chittenden of Aspen, Col- 
orcdo. Finally, signing off below is thot fetching foursome from the 
opening spreod (from left): Jennifer Вгой, Johan Berube, April 
Abrohom ond Brooke Richards. 


PLAYBOY 


142 


INSTRUMENTO 


(continued from page 80) 

I put my hand on his arm, as if to say 
thanks, and then turned to leave. 

"Long as we're talking," hc contin- 
ued. "You know about my family, right?" 

“I know what I read about your fa 
ther in the newspapers." 

Chad closed his eyes for an instant, 
as if gathering the resolve to explain 
and pushing down frustration, like a 
celebrity who's just been asked the 
same dumb question for the millionth 
time. "He's not my father," he said. 
"He's my mother's husband. We have a 
simple relationship. I hate bim and he 
hates me." 

I looked at him in a way that I 
thought might prompt him to explain, 
but his eyes had gone steely, as if he 
had just said all he had to say on the 
subject. I pushed a little. "Doesn't that 
worry you?" I asked. "Having someone 
like that bate you?" 

“My mother would never let him do 
anything. I'm not worried.” 

“Well,” [ said, meaning to dismiss the 
subject, "maybe time will make you 
closer." 

“I doubt it," he said. “Не had my fa- 
ther killed." 

"He had——" I started to echo him 
stupidly, the amazement in my voice 
momentarily turning me into the boy. 

"You can see the problem." 

“I guess so,” I said. "Like Hamlet.” I 
had no idea how to continue. 

“I have nothing to do with Jimmy 
and he has nothing to do with me. So 
you don't have anything to worry 
about on that score either. I just want 
to be a college student with a summer 
job, you know what I mean?” 

“Yes,” I said. “I do," and I touched 
his arm. I said, "I'll send Amy for you 
for lunch,” hoping my tone let bim 
know that the subject of his family was 
done with as far as 1 was concerned 
On the way back to the house, I turned 
it over in my mind. I was curious, of 
course, but 1 wasn't about to ask. In a 
way, it made me feel protective. Amy 
never understood that about me, my 
protectiveness. Linda, her mother, 
hadn't either. There's a reason for it. 1 
was raised poor, in a bad part of Brook- 
Iyn. My father was a mean drunk, my 
sıster was raped when she was 16, and 
when I was not much older | was 
robbed and beaten half to death by two 
guys wearing sweatshirts with hoods 
pulled to tiny openings around their 
eyes. They beat me just because they 
wanted to—no special reason. 

After the attack, I spent months in 
the hospital, my heart full of murder. 
Nights, I'd have dreams in which beat- 
ings my father delivered merged with 
the street beating. Days, I'd fall into 


long, bloody reveries of violence so aw- 
ful it frightened me—half daydreams, 
half trances in which Га inflict every 
manner of nightmare on the men who 
beat me. For a while I thought I was 
losing my mind. I came back slowly. 1 
didn't lose my mind and I didn't with- 
draw from the world. I just moved to a 
more secluded part of it. My father's 
boss owned a horse farm up in the moun- 
tains, and I went to work for him when 
I got out of the hospital. I've worked 
around horses and on farms ever since. 
I became careful, protective. 

Amy couldn't appreciate these things, 
but I thought maybe Chad could, hav- 
ing been through some himself—and 
after working with him only a few 
weeks, it was clear that I was right. He 
rapidly turned into a combination ally 
and mediator in my frequent, though 
usually minor, conflicts with Amy. 
Whatever he told Amy, she seemed to 
hear clearly. I suspected his working 
without a shirt, sweat glistening over 
the muscles of his chest and stomach, 
had something to do with the explana- 
tions always being so convincing. 

In any event, things ran a lot more 
smootbly with Chad on the farm. Amy 
seemed happier with him around, 
even if he did—as he had told her— 
have a serious girlfriend. She took to 
going to bed early most nights and 
sleeping late in the mornings, and in 
general appeared to be more relaxed 
and comfortable than she had been in 
years. She was looking forward to the 
fall, when she'd start her senior year in 
high school. Chad turned out to be ex- 
cellent help, working all day, finishing 
up the jobs I'd given him and often go- 
ing on to other things that needed do- 
ing. Evenings he spent in his cabin, 
hardly ever going into town. The on- 
ly problem I bad with him involved 
the phone bill, which was exorbitant 
When I took it to him, he explained he 
was calling a girlfriend and buddies 
from home and college and agreed to 
pay the extra charges. When I pointed 
out that if he didn't cut back on the 
calls, he'd wind up sending a good por- 
tion of his summer earnings to Ma Bell, 
he nodded, but not resentfully, the way 
Amy would have nodded. By midsum- 
mer, I was already worrying about his 
leaving and thinking of ways 1 might 
entice bim back next year. 


Ollie stopped by the farm more fre- 
quently with Chad here, which I also 
considered a benefit. Ollie was proba- 
bly less than ten years older than me, 
but he always treated me in a fatherly 
way. He was a stocky, blond-haired, 
blue-eyed Swede with a fondness for 
poker and his stout, churchgoing wife 
He supposedly had some dubious con- 


nections at the track—1 had heard this 
implied by other trainers and farm- 
ers—but I never heard a word about it 
from him, and I never saw him do any- 
thing the least bit unseemly. Asking me 
10 hire Jimmy Smoke's son for a sum- 
mer job was the only thing in 12 years 
that had given me the least cause for 
worry—and that was going fine. Then, 
on a morning in the first week of Au- 
gust, when I was at his stables picking 
up hay, he invited Amy and me to his 
housc for dinner. 

I backed my truck into the stable and 
lowered the tailgate, while he opened 
the stall door and dragged out four 
bales of special high-grade hay he had 
been holding for me. He tossed a bale 
onto the truck. "Hey, Paul," he said. 
"The wife's making something special 
tonight. Why don't you and Amy come 
out and join us?” 

1 didn't answer right away. I pulled a 
bale of hay from the stack, threw it on- 
to the truck and went back for another, 
which I slid onto the tailgate. Ollie had 
never invited me to dinner before. Ol- 
lie never invited anyone to dinner. I 
said, as if he didn't know it, “We've 
never been to your house for dinner. 
Actually, we've never been to your 
house at all." 

“This will be the first time then, 
won't it?" he said, tossing a bale of hay 
at me. playfully roo hard 

I was knocked back a couple of steps 
before regaining my balance. "OK," 1 
said. I didn’t see how we could refuse. 
“What should we wear?” 

“Dress nice,” he said. “My wife'll 
bring out the good china. We'll do the 
whole deal for you.” He winked at me 
and closed the stall door. “Be there by 
seven. Don't be late." He turned and 
hurried to the other end of the stable, 
where he had an office. 

At my truck, I pulled a ball of twine 
from under the front scat and took my 
time tying down the bay, which didn't 
need to be tied down at all. The pit of 
my stomach stirred the way it does 
when something doesn't seem right. I 
was tempted to follow Ollie into his of- 
fice and ask him what was going on, 
why all of a sudden the invitation to 
dinner. By the time the hay was tied 
down, | had decided to let things play 
out as they would. I got back into the 
cab of the truck and instead of heading 
out the front entrance I did a three- 
point turn and started dovn the dirt 
road that crossed the stables and went 
through the farm and wound around 
to a back entrance, which was closer to 
town, where I planned on stopping at 
the supermarket. In the rearview mir- 
ror | saw Ollie come out of his office. 
He watched me drive away, looking an- 
noyed. I usually asked him if it was all 

(continued on page 156) 


Enel Prom 


“I think he's out of his coma now, Doctor.” 


143 


LIVING ONLINE 


the best of the net every month By MARK FRAUENFELDER 


AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL 


Here's a great online resource. My friends were flying in 


from San Francisco, and I typed their flight number into 
thetrip.com's Flight Tracker and found out that the 
plane would land half an hour later than scheduled. The 
information is updated once a minute, and you can even 


see where the plane is on a map. Flight Tracker saved me 


half an hour of waiting at the airport. You can also use the 


service to automatically send e-mail to your friends when "———— 


your plane lands. 


through tunes.com's messaging system. The site was de- 
signed with pest protection in mind, so other users won't 
know your real name or e-mail address unless you provide 
it for them. 

FOR MOVIE MANIACS 


The Internet Movie Database (imdb.com) is the Net's best 
resource for movie and video information. Among its 
180,000 movie titles, I've always found what I've been look- 
ing for, from Fifties bondage queen Bettie Page's Teaserama 
to George Lucas’ 1970 science fiction classic, THX 1138. 


The reviews and credits are linked, so a click on Lucas’ 
name, for instance, will produce a page with everything he's 
directed, written or produced. The site offers more than re- 
views, plot summaries and credits. You can read memorable 
quotes, trivia, “goofs” and the details of alternate versions of 


the film in question. You can also review, comment on or 


rate а movie. When Im in the mood for a video but am not 
sure what to watch, I cruise around IMDb and follow inter- 


esting links. Sooner or later I'm able to find what I want. 


GOOD MUSIC The Internet Movie ren 
Rolling Stone's new portal, tunes.com, offers what you'd Database was pur- 
expect from any decent commercial music site—a million chased by Ama- 
song clips, a thousand videos, profiles of 85,000 artists. zon, so if a movie 
But the thing I like most about tunes.com is the way it lets is available on vid- 
you tap into other users' music collections to find out what ео, or if there's a 
you've been missing. Here's how it works. When you click biography of the 
on a picture of an album you like, you get a list of other director or a cast 
people who like the same album. You can then click on a member in print, mm Mati i 
person's name to see what other albums he likes and to you can be certain bro WDR Oscard Winning Modo ofthe Огу 
hear 30-second sound clips. If you want to get in touch there'll be a link to ee 
144 with a like-minded music fan, you can contact him asite that sells it. 


ps EEE bh em 


SURFER, HEAL THYSELF 


A few months ago I had a flu that 
I couldn't shake. As soon as ГА start 
to feel good—wham!—I'd wake up in 
the middle of the night with another 
fever and chest congestion. My doctor 
couldn't tell me anything 1 didn't al- 
ready know, so I went online to treat out 
myself. At www.healthshop.com I un 
filled out an anonymous questionnaire about my condi- 
tion, and the site suggested, among other things, that I 
might have a "disturbed immune system.” It prescribed a 
regimen of 30 supplements, including primrose oil, gin- 
seng concentrate, saw palmetto concentrate, essential fatty 
acids concentrate and echinacea. It also offered to sell me 
the stuff for around $300. I wanted a second opinion. 


Andrew Weil (askdrweil.com) integrates traditional 
and alternative medicine. I've used Weil's site before—it 
was the source of two surefire remedies (stinging nettles 
tablets to treat hay fever, and very hot water to relieve the 
itching of poison oak). This time I found an article about 
how the immune system works and how to keep it strong. 
Besides suggesting a low-fat, low-protein diet to boost your 
immune system, Weil recommends the use of "tonic" 
mushrooms from China and Japan: zhu ling, maitake, shü- 
takeand enokidake. 1 ordered a bottle of Mushroom Com- 
plex capsules on vitaminshoppe.com for $11.20. They 
seem to have helped—I haven't so much as sniffled in near- 


ly three weeks. 


HOW TO GET 
THERE FROM 
HERE 


One day, all cars will 


have computer navi- 


gation systems with 
a dashboard video 
map and a friendly 
voice that tells you 
you missed your ex- 
it. You can buy one now (try Alpine's Navigation and In- 
formation System at alpinel.com), but it'll set you back 
a couple grand. Until the price drops, I'm happy using 
driving directions ] print from online map sites such as 
maps.yahoo.com and mapquest.com. You enter your 
starting address and your destination, and the sites create 
turn-by-turn directions along with a map that traces your 
route. I've become hopelessly dependent on online driving 


a AN 


(ask AE 


Wednesday March 17.1999 


Netscape: Ask Dr. Weil - Q&A ASecond Life for Thalidomide’ 


0-50% Off on Vitamins 


$9 Vii TT N SHOPPECOM SEE 


CLICK HERE 


hawto Ask Dr. Wail? ‘Sion up for 
Use our Site Map De Weis Bulletin 
Sponsored by The Vitamin Shoppe 


TODAY'S QUESTION 


A Second Life 


directions, but every once in a while I run into trouble. 
Near the end of a trip from Los Angeles to Pismo Beach, 
the printout told me to “turn left on unnamed road.” 1 
ended up at a landfill. Now, I always make sure the direc- 
tions are complete before 1 hit the highway. 


BEYOND AMAZON 


I went to amazon.com to buy a copy of Gordon Sander's 
book Serling: The Rise and Twilight of Television's Last Angry 
Man, but it was out of print. When Amazon doesn't have a 
book in stock, it throws up a page that says, “We'll query 
our network of used bookstores for you and send an up- 
date within one to two weeks.” Fortunately, many places 
online will sell me the book today. First I went to isbn.nu 
and found a used copy for $12.45. Then I checked anoth- 
er bookseller search engine, addall.com, which located 
several other online stores carrying the book, with prices 
ranging from $12.45 (powells.com, 10- to 15-day ship- 
ping) to $19.90 (fatbrain.com, two-day express). When 
I'm looking for a book that’s way out of print, like Roger 
Price's hilarious polemic The Great Roob Revolution, 1 turn to 
Bibliofind (bibliofind.com), a search engine that con- 
tains the inventories of thousands of used bookstores. Four 
booksellers had the 
book, at prices rang- 
ing from $10 for a 
well-worn copy to 
$25 for a copy in 
very good condition. 


Barnes and Noble 
(barnesandnoble. 


Antiques(s2099) 


‘Books, Movies, Music (215941) 
Coins & Stamps (r200) 
Collectiblestetzee 
Computers(s6010) 

Dolls Figuzes(+0659) 


com) offers a rare- 
and used-book ser- 


vice that's worth- 


Photo & Electronics (0304) 


"Һе. If} i у 
while. If you still can't Pottery & Glass (inet) 


find what you're look- 
ing for, try an online auction site, such as ebay.com. 


You may contact Mark Frauenfelder by e-mail at livingonline@ 
playboy.com. 


"di 


van ool 


Click na 


1я series GoM Merwin 


PLAYBOY 


146 


SHOOTERS 


(continued from page 130) 
HOT AND HOI 
(KEY WEST, PANAMA CITY BEACH, FLORIDA) 


1 ounce Hot Damn! schnapps 
1 ounce Sauza Hornitos tequila. 


SUNTAN LOTION 
(JUST A FEW TAVERN, BAY SHORE, 
NEW YORK) 


1 ounce Baileys Irish Cream 
1 ounce Captain Morgan rum 


BLUE SHARK 
(TRIANGLE WEST BAR, RIVER RIDGE, 
LOUISIANA) 


1 ounce Jose Cuervo tequila 
1 ounce vodka 
% ounce blue curagao 


RUBY RED SUMMER BREEZE 
(BELL IN HAND TAVERN, BOSTON) 


% ounce Bacardi Tropico 

% ounce Bacardi light rum 
% ounce Bacardi Select rum 
% ounce cranberry juice 


BIKINI LINE 


xx kk HOGSE, SEA Ginn NEWIERSEY) 


% ounce Chambord 

X ounce Tia Maria 

X ounce vodka 

Splash of pincapple juice 


SAND IN YOUR BUTT 
(BOHAGER'S, BALTIMORE) 
И ounce Southern Comfort 
И ounce Midori 
1 ounce pineapple juice 
JAGER VACATION 

(EMPIRE, YBOR CITY, FLORIDA) 

И ounce Jägermeister 


unce Captain Morgan rum 
1 ounce pineapple juice 


BEACH BALL 
(BAR ANTICIPATION, SOUTH BELMAR, 
NEW JERSEY) 
Y ounce Malibu rum 
ounce blueberry schnapps 
У ounce pineapple juice 


SHARK BITE. 

(MARQUIS WEST, SANTA MONICA, CALIFORNIA) 
X ounce Mycrs's Original Dark Rum 
1% ounces orange juice 
Splash of grenadine 


HOME JEROME, 
(SOAPY SMITH'S, DENVER) 


unce Wild Turkey 

unce peppermint schnapps 
И ounce white creme de cacao 
И ounce Grand Marnier 


(Ж УЛ 


"Why can't you just read a newspaper in the morning 
like other men?" 


BEST THINGS 


(continued from page 113) 

Amy, 24, copywriter 

This guy I was dating was into bond- 
age and experimentation. He built a loft 
over his bed from which he could hang 
handcuffs and sex toys. He loved to see 
me in nothing but go-go boots. So I de- 
cided to combine his two inte: 5. 1 
went out and bought a trapcze. Then I 
went to his place wearing my boots and a 
dress with nothing underneath. I hung 
the trapeze from the loft and got naked 
When he walked in, all he could see were 
my boots, my ass and my back. I gave 
him a blow job hell never forget. 

Cindy, 26, attorney 

My husband and I had two couples 
over to drink wine. I'd been taking mas- 
sage therapy classes, so when one of the 
girls said her back was hurting, 1 gave 
her a massage. It became pretty sensual, 
as most massages do. The next thing 1 
knew, I was kissing her. The other girl, 
who had been watching us, asked, "Can 
I join you?" We were like, "Sure!" 

Where were the guys 

Having their own conversation. They 
didn't notice at first. Then they becamc 
intrigued. I'm sure they were thinking, 
My girlfriend's kissing your girlfriend! 
Neither of the other girls had been with 
a woman before. 

Why do you think the women decid- 
ed to experiment? 

I guess they felt safe because their 
boyfriends were there. Once we got go- 
ing, it felt right. l'd been with women, 
so I took the lead. No one pushed any- 
one to do anything. Then we turned the 
lights down. The guys focused on watch- 
ing us. It was soft and sensual at first—a 
little touching, massaging and kt: 3 
We worked our way to the bedroom. 
The guys actually brought chairs into 
the room and sat and watched. When 
we took olf our clothes and brought out 
the vibrator, things got supersteamy. Of 
course, the guys could only sit there 
ng for so long. One guy started 


everyone was naked and groping every- 
one else. While I was going down on one 
of the girls, my boyfriend was having sex 
with me from behind. Every time you 
turned around, there was something to 
touch or kiss. The women were all over 
one another. 

Talk about an orgy. 

I know! It was an incredible night that 
was by no means planned. 

How did it end? 

One girl had so many orgasms that she 
couldn't 
vibrator 


side her for a long time. 
Everyone had a cigarette and ventured 
home, presumably to carry on for the 
rest of the night. At least I know my boy- 


friend and 1 did. 


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Your Source for Help and Hope œ 


BARNEY FRANK 


(continued from page 66) 
saved you. If my parents find out I saved 
the czar, they will kill me." So I would 
save Barr out of duty but wouldn't like 
doing it. Heis a terrible influence. He's a 
mean and hateful man. He has consort- 
ed with racists. He seems to be a man 
whose primary interest in life is to use 
official power to make other people's 
lives miserable. Barr is part of the fring- 
es who believe that they are obligated to 
impose their private choices on other 
people. Religion is conceived as a won- 
derful thing and it can be a source of 
great love and good. But some people 
use it to make other people's lives miser- 
able. Religion becomesa stick with which 
you beat other people. There are fringes 
throughout the world, the Haredim in 
Israel, Islamic fundamentalists, funda- 
mentalist Protestants and Catholics, the 
Hindus and the BJP in India who tear 
down mosques and burn Christians. 1 
don't understand why people can't vali- 
date their own beliefs without victimiz- 
ing other people. I just don't understand 
it. 1 don't understand what motivates а 
straight person to make as his or her ma- 
jor political goal to deny the rights of gay 
people. I don't understand why some 
one would worry about what movies the 
rest of us see, what we read. In the case 
of forcing children to pray in school, it's 
not about wanting a child to be allowed 
to pray in school if he wants to—a child 
can do that now. They want prayer in 
schools because they think everyone 
should be forced to pray. They feel that 
if you leave it to the average citizen, he 
won't pray. So they want to use the pub- 
lic school mechanism to force kids to be 
more religious than their parents want 
them to be. I don't understand that im- 
pulse. Its dangerous. 

PLAYBOY: Do you at least understand the 
view of the extreme right? Reagan and 
the Moral Majority bemoan what they 
see as the moral degradation of the coun 
try. Clinton is just the most prominent 


example 

FRANK: Absolutely. And here was their 
chance to do something about it. Clinton 
was a scapegoat. They truly hate what is 
happening to America. They went to 
sleep in a painting by Norman Rockwell 
and woke up in a Hieronymus Bosch. 
Instead of nice, clean-cut, well-defined 
figures of Americans, they saw a nation 
of people writhing and squirming in 
pain: People are getting aboi they 
are tolerating homosexuality, people of 
many races are mixing, there's salacious 
material on television, people who aren't 
religious are making fun of religion. 
Culturally, thesc conscrvatives are losing 
the country, and they absolutely hate it 
They can't believe the public really dis- 
agrees with them, though, because their 
roots are deeply populist. So they need 
an explanation. They have to blame 


something or someone. And that person 
is the Wizard, Bill Clinton. They real- 
ly believe that Bill Clinton, with Hillary 
helping him—Hillary, who represents 
everything they dislike in a woman, in- 
cluding being a forgiving wife—is steal- 
a. With his cleverness and the 
lliance with the media moguls 
who are shallow and corrupt, they are 
stealing America. They really believe Bill 
and Hillary have temporarily bewitched 
the American people. And they believe 
that if they could have gotten rid of Bill 
Clinton, they could have had their coun- 
try back. They didn't really want to im- 
peach Bill Clinton: They wanted to drive 
а маке through his heart. 

PLAYBOY: If Clinton had not provided the 
opportunity—with his relationship with 
Monica Levinsky—would it have been 
someone else? 

FRANK: Maybe, though they wanted Clin- 
ton badly. Clinton slipped through in 
1992, but the Republicans blame George 
Bush for that. They say, “Bush was sort 
of namby-pamby." The true believers 
never accept defeat as a repudiation of 
their ideas. It is always that their ideas 
weren't presented with enough authori- 
ty. The left does it, too. They thought 
that if George McGovern hadn't com- 
promised on amnesty and abortion he 
would have won the presidency. The 
right thought Bush vas just weak. In 
1994, however, when the Republicans 
won big, they thought it showed where 
America really was. Yet in spite of win 

ning big, they accomplished little of 
their agenda. And that was blamed on 
Clinton. The scandal erupted and they 
thought they had him. They were rub- 
bing their hands together. That he sur- 
vived it makes them hate Clinton more 
than ever: "The son of a bitch got away 
with it." Once again, th 
doesn't scc it as a repudi 
ues. But that’s exactly what it was. The 
American people spoke. In 2000, they 
will speak again 

PLAYBOY: One last question: What exactly 
does a congressman do? 

FRANK: Two things. First, we try to imple- 
ment a set of values through the federal 
government. In my case, | want to work 
for more fairness in our society. But 
whatever your values, you're trying to 
affect public policy to bring things closer 
to the way you think they should be. Se 
ond, you're an advocate for the specific 
concerns of the people you represent. 
Whatever it takes, you want to make sure 
that people aren't treated unfairly by bu- 
rcaucracy and that they get their fair 
share. That's the job—pushing your val- 
ues and protecting the people you rep 
resent. It may sound corny, but it's real- 
ly trying to make the world better. That's 
what it's all about. If you're not here to 
try to make this a better world, you have 
no business being here 


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149 


PLAYBOY 


150 


Day TRAAERP continued fiom page 118) 


1 keep trading Internet stocks. Buy Yahoo at the right 
moment, you're up $5 in two minutes. 


fastest at getting rid of their losers. The 
cardinal rule of day trading is: Cut your 
losses. If a trade goes against you, get 
out. Fast. It sounds simple, but it's the 
most difficult part. Гус learned the hard 
way. The Internet stock Excite went 
against me one day for $100. But my ego 
got involved and I wouldn't admit Га 


WELL, AT 
LEAST 

You HAVE 

A RooF 
OVER 
YOUR 


HEAD. 


made a mistake. In a heartbeat, I was 
down $1500. I finally pulled the plug a 
few minutes later with a loss of $2000. 
Those damned Internet stocks are 
scary. It's a new industry, so they're go- 
ing to be volatile, and when you add day 
traders, you get these huge swings. The 
day traders arc aggressive about Inter- 


net stocks. They know the future of com- 
merce is on the Internet, because th 
on the Internet themselves. They 
power every day. So when CNBC says it 
looks like Internet stocks are going to 
run that morning (which means there's 
going to be a lot of volume) or that Ya- 
hoo or Amazon.com or America Online 
is announcing positive news (which will 
bring up the whole sector), then ГИ try 
to make some moncy. I won't buck the 
trend. 

ГИ pick up Excite, for instance, as 
soon as I dare, and ГЇЇ know in advance 
how much I want to make. Even if it 
looks like it's going to run rampant, 1 
won't get greedy. I buy 1000 shares, I'm 
up $1 a share, I'll sell into strength. 
That's $1000. There are day traders who 
will go for a lot more, but I've been 
around long enough to know that $1000 
a day is $250,000 a year. On those days 
when Internet stocks are up $20 or $30, 
not many day traders take the enure 
ride. Or even most of it. It's too danger- 
ous. They'll take bits and pieces of it. I 
bought Yahoo once, sold it a few seconds 
later down $1, and two minutes later it 
was up $3 and I'd been panicked out of 
it. But I keep trading Internet stocks be- 
cause of the profit potential. You buy Ya- 
hoo at the right moment, you're up $5 in 
two minutes. It's pure adrenaline. But 
you have to keep a cool head. 

There's a guy in Chicago who's the 
best trader Гуе ever seen. Why? Because 
he has mastered the most difficult thing 
of all: emotional control. There's no emo- 
tion in his decisions. No ego. God, that's 
tough. But hell sit there with four mon- 
itors, like a damned machine, pushing a 
button and making 60 to 80 trades a day, 
and even his good friends won't know if 
he's up $40,000 or down $30,000. You 
won't see this guy high-fiving after he 
takes a quick $7 a share out of some In- 
ternet stock. You won't even know he 
did it. Hc can turn on a dime faster than 
anyone I have ever seen. Wrong? OK 
Click. Next. He's made a small fortune 
from admitting his mistakes. He buys a 
stock, it goes down, hell turn around 
and sell it short—click, click—and he's 
gone from a bad trade to riding a profit 

I also watched a good trader blow 
himself out because he was determined 
to prove he was right. On one trade! He 
shorted 2000 shares of Dell at about $75 
and it went his way for a quick $4000 
profit. But he wouldn't cover. He got 
greedy. Dell turned up and suddenly hc 
had a loss. He was too stubborn to let go 
now, so he stayed in overnight. Big mis- 
take. Dell kept going up; he kept hold- 
ing. He wouldn't admit he was wrong 
He eventually covered at about $108. He 
turned a $4000 gain into a $74,000 loss. 
Adios. That was painful to watch 

So, is day trading just a crazy Internet 
boom? No. It's here to stay—even if the 
market crashes. Maybe that would scare 
people away, cut the volume. But it won't 


stop day traders. What happens to a day 
trader in a crash? Nothing. Day trading 
my liberation from fear of a crash. 
That's for investors to worry about. 1f 
I have done what I'm supposed to do 
and go home at night (well, I'm already 
home) holding no stock, then the market 
heading south the next morning is an 
cven greater opportunity for me. Why? 
Because the market goes down a lot fast- 
er than it goes up. Fear beats greed. Ev- 
ery time. So I can short the market. I 
care less about the market's direction, up 
or down, than I do about how much it 
moves. What counts for a day trader is 
volatility. 

Market makers blame us for the in- 
credible volatil now, and there's some 
truth in that. We're so aggressive playing 
the momentum in either direction that 
a stock can move up or down $5 or $10 
in a day—and it's still the same stock 
No news. The underlying value remains 
the same. We make life more difficult 
for market makers. They hate us. They 
call us bandits. They say we're going to 
wreck everything for everybody with all 
this volatility. We'll drive stock prices too 
high, then drive them down into a crash: 
Nonsense. We have as much right to buy 
and sell stocks as they do. What we're re- 
ally wrecking is their easy profits. They 
now have to work harder—and smart- 
er—tor their money. 

Where do 1 go from here? I've started 
an e-mail service for new day traders. 
I'm always looking for a larger account 
than my own to trade, and I'd like to 
pair olf with a rich investor. That's hap- 
pening a lot between good traders and 
wealthy people who are too busy to trade 
for themselves but want to participate in 
the action. They want more return with 
more excitement, so they bankroll a 
young trader with a good record and 
then split the profits. I even know of 
stockbrokers who have left their firms to 
day trade for their former clients. That 
kind of action used to be the private pre- 
serve of the very rich. No longer. 

"Those millions of people who are now 
trading stocks online are eyeing their 
next step. A lot of them will try day trad- 
ing and some will stay with it. That's 
great, because they'll show that this is a 
legitimate way to make a living. If I had 
never heard of day trading, I'd still be 
1 was making a 


catching up with us. They're 
about opening from 5:30 лм 
night. I can just sce millions of people 
sitting at home after dinner with nothing 
to do: “Hey, honey, I 
trade a few stocks." Talk about an explo- 

lume! Ron Insana on 


trading, you'll love night trading, 


WRESTLING MADNESS 


(continued from page 120) 
bold move, he came clean and told the 
audience what it had long suspected: 
Wrestling is as fake as an air kiss from 
your lesbian ex-girliriend. "Wrestling is 
entertainment,” McMahon says. "Story 
line is really what the World Wrestling 
Federation is about. Come on, this is Dy- 
nasty. This is Dallas." Who could have 
predicted that fans would like wrestling 
more when they knew it was fake? 

McMahon's WWF compctes in the na- 
tional wrestling marketplace with Ted 
Turner's World Championship Wres- 
tling. It's a new generation of wrestlin 
in which the distinction between hee 
(bad guys) and baby faces (good guys) is 
fuzzy and the plots are laced with sexual 
innuendo and profanity. Cable TV is the 
main battleground. On Monday nights, 
the WWF's Monday Night Raw, on the 
USA Network, takes on WCW's Monday 
Nitro, on TNT. The edgier Raw targets 
viewers in the 18- to 34-year-old demo- 
graphic, while Nitro courts the deep- 
pocketed 18-49 set. Both companies of- 
fer a glut of wrestling programs during 
the remainder of the week, but the Mon- 
day night shows are so popular they're 
siphoning off audience share from 
ABC's Monday Night Football, an actual 


sporting event where fewer than half the 
games are fixed. Smaller wrestling out- 
fits such as Philadelphia-based Extreme 
Championship Wrestling employ the 
same basic concept but include liberal 
amounts of blood, barbed wire and as- 
sorted cracking sounds. But for casual 
wrestling fans, there are only two choic- 
es: the WWF and WCW. 

As Shakespeare almost said, "the 
feud's the thing," and the front men in 
the WWF-WCW feud are McMahon, 53, 
and Eric Bischoff, 43, president of 
WCW. Each man constantly bad-mouths 
the other, and even the wrestlers take а 
brcak from kicking the crap out of wcak- 
er guys to berate the rival organization 

“Vince McMahon genuinely cares 
about this business,” says WWF star the 
Rock, a.k.a. Rocky Maivia. "Ted Turner, 
however, couldn't give two pieces of 
monkey shit about it." Interestingly, this 
interpersonal and interleague animosi- 
ty is real, making it an anomaly in the 
scripted world of pro wrestling. 

Blurring the line between what is real 
and what is fertilizer is a big part of 
wrestling's success. Both Bischoff and 
McMahon cast themselves as key play- 
ers in their leagues’ never-ending dra- 
mas. One WWF plotline that lasted sev- 
eral weeks had McMahon clashing with 
Stone Cold Steve Ausün and firing him 


"You're very welcome.” 


151 


PLAYBOY 


152 


on the air. Austin then filled McMahon's 
new convertible with concrete. McM 
hon had him arrest id Austin retali 
ated by hunting McMahon with a cross- 
bow. Then Austin kidnapped McMahon, 
tied him up, put a pistol to head— 
and fired it. The pistol was a gag gun—it 
shota flag out of the barrel—but it caused 
McMahon to lose control of his bladder. 
All this on national cable television. And 
you thought South Park was racy. 

And it’s not just management. Wres- 
ters do their part to confuse reality. 
Take Austin's official stance on charity 
appearances for children: "I'm not kiss- 
ing any snot-nosed rugrat.” In real life, 
there is Austin's alter ego, Steve Wil- 
liams, a different man with a publicity- 
friendly “I meet a lot of Make- 
a-Wish kids," ms said. "They're so 
inquisitive. I never have seen one of 
them scared. Meeting those kids is a 
thrill for me.” WWF's Big Show, a.k.a. 
Paul Wight, a terror in the ring at seven- 
foot-four and 500 pounds, says being a 
bad guy "hurts my feelings a little bit” 
and “I hope my mom doesn't find out.” 
s, fret not: Two elements of 
wrestling are entirely real: the athleti- 
cism of the wrestlers and the pain they 
endurc. The current megastar of WCW 
is Goldberg, a.k.a. Bill Goldberg, former 
nose tackle for the Atlanta Falcons and 
one of the world's toughest Jews (not 
counting the waitresses at the Carnegic 
Delicatessen). Diamond Dallas Page, abu 


a WCW star, is a former college basket- 
ball player who usurped the Diamond 
moniker from that sport's diamond de- 
fensive alignment. In addition to being 
athletes, wrestlers must be cagey per- 
formers and quick thinkers, becaus 
while wrestling s story lines are s 
the action isn't. 

“On the Monday Nitro telecasts, five 
minutes before the match I don't know 
who my opponent will be,” explains 
Page. *Things change." And while Page 
says the bout’s outcome "is predeter- 
mined, the match is not chorcographed. 
If it were, wrestlers would be the great- 
est memory experts in the world. When 
a guy like Goldberg grabs you, he just 
takes you. Things change, people get 
injured. There are broken necks, 
knees. Right now ме 
out after knee surgeries." 

But there is a pot of gold at the end of 
the injured-reserve rainbow. When Jesse 
“the Body" Ventura was elected gover- 
nor of Minnesota last November, several 
wrestlers realized there was a world be- 
yond camel clutches and hammerheads. 
On November 9, during Monday Nitro, 
WCW's Hollywood Hulk Hogan an- 
nounced his candidacy for president. 
McMahon, Hogan's former boss, won't 
say whether or not he'll vote for Hulk, 
but does maintain, “If Hogan wins, itll 
be a hell of an inauguration ball.” 


torn 


got nine guys 


“I wanted to get addicted to sex, but I was always too damn busy.” 


Michael Moore 

(continued from page 125) 
sense of fair play. I'm actually shy and in- 
troverted. 1 dread going in to do a shoot 
in some corporate office. I'm a bundle of 
nerves. But if nobody's going to do it, 
that means I have to. 


5 


PLAYBOY: Putting labor and management 
ide, do you feel any nostalgia for 


MOORE: Tail fins scared me as a child. 
1 never thought something that could 
hurl toward you at 80 miles an hour 


ion of being impaled by 
g in reverse. 


6 


ылувоу: If you were sitting in a class 
at the Harvard Business School, you'd 
¢ your hand and зау wha 
MOORE: When the Kennedy School of 
Government at Harvard asked me to 
give a lecture, a lot of business school 
students showed up because they want- 
ed to debate me. A student got up and 
, “This is a business, and its respons 
bi y is to its shareholders." I said, "If 
you keep repeating that li 
have lost your mora 
ly believe what it says in the Bible about 
a camel having an casi passing 
through the eye of a needle than a rich 
man does getting into heaven." It was 
awfully quiet. Then I said, “I'm ready to 
support higher wages, full employment, 
day care and health care. And I want you 
to support them, but not for my libcral 
do-good bleeding-heart reasons. I want 
you to support them because it's best 
for you. If everyone is working and mak- 
ing $40,000 or $50,000 a year, what are 
the chances that he's going to break in- 
to your luxury home and steal your en- 
tertainment system?" It was a great eve- 
ning, and I think many of the students 
were affected by what I said. 


7 


PLAYBOY: Asa keen observer of the labor 


Hoffa with the current model, the 

who has just taken over as head of the 
"leamstei 
MOORE: It's sad what's happening with 
the Teamst 1 remember Teamsters 
sett ire to a dry cleaning store in 
Flint in the early Sixties when the owner 
would not use Teamster truck drivers. A 
dry cleaner, man—that's a dangerous 
fucking place to light a match. All that 
fluid. The guy who set the fire caught on 
fire and went stumbling into the hospital 
with all these burns. But that was typical 
Hoffa style. Hf you're in a war, sometimes 
you don't really care about the weapons 
you choose. The UAW chose not to use 
those weapons and became just as strong. 


And it’s much more democratic. 1 feel 
bad that the Teamsters Union has elect- 
ed Hoffa Jr—a lawyer, not a worker. I 
have a lot of friends who are Teamsters 
and Hofla supporters. They don't sce 
their real income going up. And when 
you're up against the ropes like that, you 
feel like you need a fighter. To them, the 
Hoffa name represents "Up against the 
wall, motherfucker, here I come.” I un- 
derstand that. But I don't support him, 
his slate or his policies. 


8 


PLAYBOY: Ball caps. Headgear of choice 
for the working-class hero? 

MOORE: There's no statement I'm trying 
to make. People send them to me all the 
time. And I don't wear them because I'm 
bald. I'm 44, not a hair missing. Virtual- 
ly no gray. 1 went to my 25-year high 
school reunion and all the guys were 
bald. They were all saying, “Come on, 
man. You're going Hollywood. This is 
fake, right?” And they're all pulling my 
hair. I said, “Hey, that's the only part of 
my body that’s working.” 


9 


PLAYBOY: If you look under the tongue of 
the right shoe in a pair, you can usual- 
ly find the country of its origin. As a 
champion of the American worker, do 
you care? 

MOORE: "That's a dead issue. You can't 
buy anything that's 100 percent Amcri- 
can made. These companies do not con- 
sider themselves American. They're glob- 
al corporations. "Buy American" is an 
illusion. I wear New Balance. I have Con- 
verse on today because I had to wear 
them for a shoot. I wear New Balance 
because they fit. | have a wide foot, and 
Nike and others don't make a wide size. 
If you wear anything more than a D 
width, you're screwed. No American car 
is made with American parts. If General 
Motors can get the average worker to 
think it's the Mexicans or the Japanese 
who are taking their jobs from them in- 
stead of General Motors, it deflects from 
thc corporation the anger and the polit- 
ical response. 


10 


ылувоу: Rush Limbaugh has slimmed 
down over there in the right corner. Is 
Michael Moore aiming to get into fight- 
ing trim here in the left? 

MOORE: I lost 50 pounds this year. When 
I edited Mother Jones, 1 weighed 175. I 
ran in 5K and 10K races. Then when I 
lost that job in 1986, I didn't get out of 
bed for a month. I just sat around and 
made calls. If you're unemployed for a 
period of time, your weight goes up be- 
cause you eat those 39-cent hamburgers 
at McDonald's and fill up on starch be- 
cause it's cheap. Fortunately, I don't 
drink. I prefer chocolate and sugar. Гуе 
got to get back to the old me. I recently 


WHERE 


HOW 


Below is a list of retailers and 
manufacturers you can contact 
for information on where to 
find this month's merchandise, 
To buy the apparel and equip- 
ment shown on pages 28, 39 
40, 82-85, 86-87, 89, 114- 
117, 146 and 171, check the. 
listings below to find the stores 
nearest you. 


WIRED 

Page 28: "Playboy Scoop: 
Furby Acquitted”: Elec- 
tronic toy by Tiger Electronics, 888-844- 
7767. "МРЗ Hits the Highways": Car 
stereo by Empeg Lid., wwwempeg.com. 
"Bargain Basement PCs": Computers by 
eMachine and Microwerkz, www.comput 
ers.com. By Micro Center, www.mei-micro 
center.com. "Game of the Month": Soft- 
ware by Firaxis Games, 800-245-4525. 
“Wild Things”: Cellular phone by Erics- 
son, 800-974-2776. Printer by Hewlett 
Packard, 800-752-0900, 


MANTRACK 

Pages 39-40; "The Waters Edge": Jet ski 
by Kawasaki, 949-770-0400. “Smells Like 
Summer": Fragrances: By UDV, 212-582- 
4784. By Davidoff, 212-242-9353, By 
Lagerfeld, 212-261-1171. By Armani, 919- 
984-4930. By Calvin Klein, 212-223-8064. 
“Shaft of Light": Titanium Sports Technolo- 
gies, 800-545-6384, ext. 235. "Guys Are 
Talking About”: Tools by Stanley, 800- 
782-6539. The Manhatian Club, 800-532- 
4566. Translator by Ectaco International, 
800-710-7920. Sports Car Market. 503- 
252-5812. 


LIGHT WEIGHTS 

Pages 82-85: Suit by Kenneth Cole, 800- 
536-2653. Shirt and pocket squares by 
Robert ‘Talbott, 800-747-8778. Tie by Studio 
by Funagalli's, at Macy's, Bloomingdale's 
and Dillard's stores. Suit by CK Calvin 
Klein, at Lord & Taylor stores. Shirt and 
watch by Alfred Dunhill, 800-860-8362. Tie 
and suit by Boss Hugo Boss and watch by 
Hugo Boss Watch, 800-484-6267. Suit by 
Hickey Freeman, for store locations call 800- 
295-2000. Shirt and ties by Paul Fredrick, 
800-247-1417. 


FLY FISHING 
Pages 86-87: Fishing merchandise: Orvis, 
Manchester, УТ, 800-548-0548, www.or 
vis.com. Fishing equipment: Trout and 
Grouse, 300 Happ Rd., Northfield, IL. 


A 


TO 


BUY 


60063, 847-501-3111, www. 
grandslamshops.com. Page 
89: Meccas: Crystal Creek 
Lodge, 800-525-3153 or 
907-245-1945. Baja on the 
Fly, 800-919-2952 or 619- 
223-5080. Pond's on the Mi- 
ramichi, 506-369-2612. Elk 
Creek Lodge, 970-878-4565. 
Captain Danny Watkins, 800- 
741-2517 or 941-983-7773. 
Key West Angler, 305-296- 
0700. Eagle Nest Lodge, 406- 
665-3711. Firehole Ranch, 
406-646-7294. SeaClusion Villa, 888- 
829-9240. 


TAKE A BIKE 

Pages 114-117: Bikes: By Trek Bicycle 
Corp.. 800-369-8735. By СГ Bicycles, for 
Harley-Davidson, 888-482-4537; from. 
George Garner Cyclery, Northbrook, IL, 
847-272-2100. By Litespeed, 423-238-5530; 
from Johnny Sprockets, Chicago, 773- 
244-1079. By Bruce Gordon Cycles, 707- 
769-5601. By Cannondale, 800-245-3872; 
from Higher Gear, Chicago, 773-472- 
7433. By Mongoose, 800-257-0662, 


SUMMER SHOOTERS 

Page 146: Drinks and bars: Hot and 
Horny, Key West, 6804 Thomas Dr, Pana- 
ma City Beach, FL. Suntan Lotion, Just a 
Few Tavern, 61 Bay Shore Rd., Bay Shore, 
NY. Blue Shark, Triangle West Bar, 10801 
Jefferson Hwy., River Ridge, LA. Ruby 
Red Summer Breeze, Bell in Hand Tavern, 
45 Union St., Boston. Bikini Line, Parker 
House, Ist and Beacon Blvd., Sea Girt, NJ. 
Sand in Your Butt, Bohager's, 515 South 
Eden St., Baltimore. Jager Vacation, Em- 
pire, 7th Ave. and 19th St., Ybor City, FL. 
Beach Ball, Bor Anticipation, 703 16th 
Ave., South Belmar, NJ. Shark Bite, Mar- 
quis West, 3110 Santa Monica Blvd., Santa 
Monica. Home Jerome, Soapy Smith's, 1317 
14th St, Denver. 


ON THE SCENE 

Page 171: “Pocket Brokers”; Stock Market 
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size this year. 


11 


PLAYBOY: Would Michael Moore buy a 
bleacher ticket in a publicly financed 
stadium? 

MOORE: I don't think people's tax dollars 
should be spent on a huge profit-making 
enterprise. It's extortion. It's like some- 
body asking you to chip in on a movie 
they're making. I would not go to the 
New York City Council and say, "I want 
$20 million to make this movie on the 
Upper West Side and if you don't give it 
to me, I'm going to move the film out of 
New York City.” But I love sports, so ГЇЇ 
always go regardless of who paid for the 
stadium. One's politics can never over- 
take one’s primal urges. I'm a strong 
‘Tigers fan and a strong Pistons fan. 


12 


PLAYBOY: Does the expression “Take this 
job and shove it” resonate with you? 
MOORE: I haven't had positive experi- 
ences being someone's employee. It’s 
best when I'm my own boss. Because I 
know the feeling, I try to make sure my 
employees are treated in a way that I 
would want to be treated. 1 would say 
the average paycheck lor those working 
on my TV show is $2000 a week. These 
days, it's difficult to get anything but an 
HMO for a small company. But our poli- 
cies are extremely liberal. Unlimited sick 
days. If you're sick, I believe you and I 
want you to get better. For family issues 
you take as many days as you want— 
when the kids are sick, for bereavement, 
whatever. You have a right to criticize me 
without getting fired. I said to everybody 
the first day, "I want you out of here at a 
decent hour. | want you to go out and 
have a life, have relationships, get mar- 
ried, have babies." 


13 


itique a few automobile pro- 
: The Betsy, Gung Ho, Tuck- 
er and Blue Collar. 

MOORE: Blue Collar is as close to the truth 
as you will see in a Hollywood movie. 
When you live in a factory town like 
Flint, you are living on the edge. It’s 
amazing more people don't go over the 
edge, considering the work and the life- 
style it creates. All you need to do is 
listen to the music that comes out of 
Michigan, whether it's the MC5 or Ted 
Nugent. Tucker is а good film in terms of 
its representation of how the monopolies 
of that time prevented independent peo- 
ple from building a better car. Gung Ho's 
heart was in the right place, but it was 
misdirected because the enemy isnt the 
Japanese. I remember going to see The 


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Betsy in Flint and walking out of the 
movie thinking, Damn. 1 want to work 
for that car compa ‚ег me some ass. 
The film that will be probably the best 
depiction of an auto worker's life is one 
that I hope will be made in the next year, 
from my friend Ben Hamper's book. It's 
called Rivethead 


14 


рілувоу: You drive a minivan. Did you 
base your purchasing decision on a high 
level of domestic parts, good fit and fin- 
ish or maybe because you have a relative 
at a dealership who was able to give you 
a good deal? 

MOORE: I bought the new Chrysler mini- 
van. It's red. I bought it for the only rca- 
son anybody should buy any product. It 
gave me the best value for my dollar. On- 
ly the dilettante liberal who has money 
sits around thinking about the political 
plications of what they're purchasing. 
The average working-class person works 
hard for his money and wants to spend 
it on something that isn't going to fall 
apart and that's going to protect hi 
and his family. 1 purchased a mi 
with a good fit and finish and a comfort- 
able ride. It's relatively safe, and the gas 
mileage is good. It has a CD player and 
air-conditioning. If it were loaded it 
would have rich Corinthian leather seats 
and four-wheel drive, which I regret not 
having because I got stuck a couple of 
weeks ago. 


TODAY, FOR ONCE, LETS BE 
TOTALLY SPONTANEOUS! 


LETS HAVE DINNER AT A 
SRI LANKAN RESTAURANT! 


15 


PLAYBOY: Like many liberals, you send 
your child to a private school. Do you 
feel any guilt that she's benefiting from 
an expensive education? 

Moore: She goes to a school that has val- 
ues we believe in. My friends at work 
would not call themselves liberals, yet 
cverything they believe in and say and 
do is beyond liberal. When you grow up 
working class, your dream is to be able to 
make enough money to send your kid to 
the best schools. My child is not a social 
experiment, and my child is not the one 
who's going to be used to undo the dam- 
age that the rich have done to this soci- 
ety. Liberals who say, “I'm going to send 
her to the inner-city school to make 
things better," are so misguided political- 
ly. Your little five-year-old did not create 
the racist, segregated, class-based society 
we live in. I didn't go to public school 
My parents busted their butts so we 
could go to Catholic school. 


16 


PLAYBOY: Ever worry that security guards 
and PR people lose their jobs as a result 
of a visit from Michael Moore and his 
camera crew? 

MOORE: No one has ever lost a job as a re- 
sult of me. I'm careful to check back. I 
just did something for the TV show that 
made me worry about a guy who was too 
nice to me. Security guys are great. We 


LETS RENT ROLLERBLADES 
AND SKATE AROUND THE PARK, 


AND HAVE. WILD 
PASSIONATE SEX! 
J. 


arc alvays filming them doing their job, 
which is to throw me out. They do it 
well. PR people are different. Most peo- 
le who work in public relations went to 
college to be journalists because they 
wanted to tell the truth. Then they got 
out of school and went to work at a pa- 
per for a few years and found they could 
make three times as much money not 
telling the truth. Their job is to come out 
and lie to the camera. They made a 
choice. I have litde respect for that. 


17 


PLAYBOY: We recently heard of a young 
girl in a choir practice at an Episcopal 
church in Greenwich, Connecticut who 
asked if it would be appropriate to pray 
for a rising stock market. As a former 
Roman Catholic seminarian, what's your 
comment? 

MOORE: It’s appropriate to pray for the 
child who wants to pray for the stock 
market. They're always just a little off, 
those Episcopalians. They go to Mass, 
they take communion, but their priests 
can have sex. All that sex makes them 
have these weird ideas. The Pope has 
been saying that capitalism is an evil sys 
tem. The economic system that we live in 
is unfair, it's unjust, and it's not demo- 
cratic. It's not a moral system. Like I said 
at the end of my last film, “One evil em- 
pire down, one to go.” I'm hoping some- 
one will invent an economic system that 
takes the best parts of socialism, which 


By BILL JOHNSON 


LETS GO DOWN TO THE. VILLAGE 
AND BROWSE THROUGH 
ART GALLERIES! 


SIGA, WOMEN ALWAYS SAY 
THEY WANT YOU TO BE 
DENE, EUT THEY 


PLAYBOY 


says that everyone should get a fair 
shake and have a safety net, and the best 
parts of capitalism, which respects the 
will of the individual to create and invent 
and doesn't lump you together as part of 
a large, faceless mass. 


18 


PLAYBOY: Should there be one, will you 
be working for Hillary Rodham Clin- 
ton's New York Senate campaign? 

MOORE: I will be doing more than just 
working for her. ГИ be holding her hand 
thc entire way. Give her a neck rub now 
and then on the campaign trail. She's 
onc hot, shit-kicking feminist babe, and I 
don't understand why a lot of guys are 
threatened by her. I met her at a White 
House dinner. I went through rhe recep- 
tion line where the Marine announces 
your name, and then you have five sec- 
onds to say hello. There are 300 people 
behind you. I shake Clinton's hand, and 
he says, “I'm such a fan of yours. I love 
Roger and Me.” Hillary hears this and she 
says, “I'm a bigger fan.” Then she takes 
me by the hand and she keeps her hand 
on mine. Her other hand goes on my 
forearm, and she says, "I've seen all your 
stuff. I really want to thank you for that 
chapter you wrote about me in your 
book." My face goes red. I'm having the 
only physical reaction that the Roman 
Catholic Church allows me to have. She 
goes on and on, and I’m so embarrassed 
that she actually read the chapter where 
I listed some Internet jokes about her. 
Like the one about the new Hillary com- 
bo at Kentucky Fried Chicken: two small 
breasts, two large thighs and two left 
wings. My response: If you can get those 
three things in a woman, you're smok- 


ing. I'm into my second minute with her. 
The line is being held up. Time Warner 
chairman Gerald Levin is standing be- 
hind me. 1 tell her she should run for the 
Senate. She spends another minute talk- 
ing to me. If she needs any help after 
she's out of the White House, I'm there 
for her 100 percent. Well, 99 percent. 


19 


PLAYBOY: Where have you and your wife 
invested your 401(k)? 

MOORE: Му wile and I have some kind of 
retirement thing. We don't own stock. 
But not for political reasons. Part of it is 


just our upbringing. Our parents never 


owned stock, though they do now, be- 
cause as GM employees they've been giv- 
en stock. My vife and I werer't raised in 
homes where our dads were sitting at 
the table figuring out thcir assets. It's a 
foreign concept. We'd be wealthy be- 
yond belief had we invested in the stock 
market eight years ago. 


20 


PLAYBOY: Tell us something wonderful 
about Michigan. 

Moore: People do not normally think of 
Michigan as one of the most beautiful 
states in the country. lt is. You would 
never go into Michigan unless you were 
definitely planning to go to Michigan. 
There are no laws against sodomy in 
Michigan. It's a state of sodomites—in 
the upper and lower peninsulas, all over 
the place. There's morc tolerance there 
than in New York. 


“Behold, m'Lord. "Tis very user friendly.” 


INSTRUMENTO 


(continued from page 142) 
right to drive across the farm—but he 
had walked away and 1 couldn't imag- 
ine why it wouldn't be OK. I couldn't 
imagine—until I passed the bunkhouse 
where he sometimes put up extra help 

At the back of the house, taking over- 
night bags out of the trunk of a deep- 
blue Lincoln Continental, were two guys 
who might as well have had the word 
gangster emblazoned in neon on their 
backs. They wore dark suits with dark 
shirts and matching dark ties. Their hair 
was cut short and slicked back. At the 
sound of my truck, one of them turned 
around quickly, and I saw the straps of a 
shoulder holster before he could adjust 
and button his jacket. Then the other 
turned around and our eyes met as I 
drove past. They didr't lock happy. In 
my rearview, 1 saw one of them slam the 
trunk shut, and then they both went into 
the bunkhouse. I drove only a little far- 
ther up the road before pulling onto the 
grass and spinning back around toward 
the stables. 

Ollie was still standing outside vith his 
hands on his hips, and I pulled the truck 
right up to his toes before cutting the 
engine and jumping out and slamming 
the door. "Ollie," I said. "Guess who I 
just saw." 

Ollie set his jaw and crossed his arms 
over his chest. 

“Two of the kings men. Back at the 
bunkhouse." 

He looked perplexed. "You saw who?" 

“1 saw the two guys Jimmy Smoke 
sent. That's why we're having dinner to- 
gether tonight, isn't it? So it’s just the kid 
on the farm when they get there?" 

Ollie looked at me with disgust and 
shook his head slowly. He went back into 
his office and stood by the open door, 
waiting for me to join him 

I hesitated a moment, then went into 
the office and took a seat at the side of 
his desk, as if 1 were about to be inter- 
viewed for a job. I stared at his empty 
leather chair. 

Ollie closed the door. "You saw two 
guests of mine. They're staying at the 


7 1 said, slowly, as if I had con- 
sidered and then rejected his assertion. 

“I saw two killers. Sent to do somet 
to a boy I've been working with all su. 
mer. A kid I like.” 

“Really,” Ollie said. "You like him?” 
He walked around me and took his scat 
behind the desk. 
> [ said. "I like him.” 
leaned forward. "Why would you 


“Ye: 


ill you stop it?” I said. "I know 
about the kid's relationship to his step- 
father. 1 know who his stepfather is. I 
know they hate each other. Now all of 
a sudden you arrange for me and Amy 
to be off the farm, and two thugs show 


up wearing guns under their thug uni- 
forms. Have 1 led you to believe I'm a 
stupid man, Ollie?” 

Never thought it for a second.” 

“Then stop bullshitting me." 

is hands in his lap and 
looked at me patiently. "Those phone 
calls you mentioned, the ones the kid 
ing all over the country? What i 
they weren't to his college bud 
his girlfriend? What if the little 
g to have Jimmy killed? What if 
the clown had it stuck in his head that 
Jimmy killed his father and nothing but 
revenge would do? What about that, 
Paul? Would that make things a little 
morc understandable to you?" 

I hesitated before answering. Half of 
me was ready to argue with Ollie. The 
other half was in shock to hear him tacit- 
ly confirm a killing. After a long mo- 
ment, 1 said, “The details are supposed 
to make a difference to me? Not that I'm 
sure I believe them. But what is it you 
think—that if I understand why, then 
itl be OK? I'm not going to have a prob- 
lem with two killers coming out to my 
farm after a kid who's working for me?" 

Ollie put his elbows on the desk and 
covered h e with his hands. Не 
spoke into his palms. "All that I said is 
what i£." 


"Well, what if nothing. It makes no 
difference.” 

"None at all? 

"None," I said, sull amazed he'd think 
at might. 


He crossed his arms on the desk and 
moved closer to me. "What if 1 hap- 
pened to know for a fact that Jimmy's 
raised this kid like his own son? That he 
id everything a father could do, but the 
kid's been screwing up since puberty, be- 
tween girls and drugs and money? What 
if Jimmy's spent a small fortune between 
abortions and lawyers and rehab with 
this kid, and now the little asshole is hell- 
bent to do away with him, hell-bent try- 
ing to pull together every old enemy 
Jimmy's got? What if, Paul? What if it's 
either one way or the other, Jimmy or 
Chad—and this is all Chad's doing. Thi: 
is the way Chad wants it. Then what? 
Still make no difference? 

“1 don't believe it about this kid," 1 
said. "He's— 

“He's slick, is what he is,” 
raising his voice a little 

“That's not the way he comes across 
to me. 

Ollie stared at me. 
were smarter than t 
thought you knew mor 
things were than this 

"How's that?" I s; "What have I 
ever done to make you think you could 
ange a murder on my farm and I'd 
look the other way’ 

“What I just said,” he answered. “I 
thought you knew the way things were." 

Um going back to the farm; 
ng Chad.” 


Ollie said, 


“1 thought you 
he said. “I 
about the way 


Ollie stood up behind the desk, “And 
what good will that do, Paul? Except to 
complicate your life.” 

“1s that a threat?” I said. “To compli- 
cate my life?" 


“Not from me,” Ollie said. “I can't tell 
you what Jimmy's going to do.” 
I said, “I thought that you were my 


friend. 

“Lam your friend,” he said. “Come to 
my house for dinner tonight. What's go- 
ing on between Jimmy and Chad—you 
can't do anything about it. Only a fool 
would get in the way ofa thing like th 
It's an act of God. The only thing you 
should be looking for is how to keep you 
and yours safe. That," he said, "is what I 
thought you'd understan 

“Like I said," I started for the door. 
"I'm going back to the farm. I'm finding 
the kid.” 

“Think about what you're doing," Ol- 
lie said. When I was already out the 
door, he called after me. “ГЇЇ be expect- 
ing you for dinner!" 

1 didn't answer. I got in my truck and 
went out the front gate and started for 
the farm. My foot fell heavily on the gas 
as I sped along the two-lane roads, wor- 
rying over Ollie's threat. I didn't believe 
he'd do anything to harm Amy or me. I 
didn't think it was possible I had so mis- 
judged the man. Nor did I think he'd 
let Jimmy Smoke do anything to usa: 
long as it vas in his power to preveni 
That, of course, was the problem. What 
if he couldn't keep Jimmy Smoke from, 
say, burning down the farm, which is 
where his name came from, as 1 under- 
stood it—his connection to mysterious 
fires. While I was worrying about all this, 
1 recalled Ollie stopping by the farm a 
few days earlier to check on His Majes- 
ty—he had looked the horse over, gone 
through his stall, even asked me if he 
was as mean as always—and I realized 
with absolute certainty that he kept HM 
for Jimmy Smoke. I was sure of it. When 
the time came that Jimmy needed a be- 
lievable accidental death, HM would be 
waiting. Sometimes I'm good at reading 
things, and I read this with certainty: 
Chad was going to wind up in the si 
h HM, crushed and beaten to death. 
Неа get Chad out of the way in an acci- 
dent no one would question—an acci- 
dent on a farm where the kid was work- 
ing a summer job hundreds of miles 
away from Jimmy and his associates. 
Jimmy got rid of his kid, and he kept his 
wife. When I realized these things, I 
ng that maybe I had mis 
judged Ollie all these years. Maybe Га 
be in trouble once I warned Chad. 

None of this, though. ha 
on what I w 
it. When I considered Olli 
and the 
if this 


wouldn't let 
"s arguments 
began to gather weight—what 
ally a skirmish in a war 


between Killers? I reminded myself 


that Chad was a kid, a boy, and that to 
go eat a pleasant dinner while he was 


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PLAYBOY 


getting beaten to death would make me 
a murderer. That pushed me hard, that 
thought. On the farm, dust flew up in 
clouds behind the truck as 1 drove the 
dirt road out to Chad's cabin. The hors- 
es looked up from their grazing to watch 
the truck speed by, as if they were my au- 
dience. Otherwise, the farm was so quiet, 
you'd think no one worked it. Amy was 
in the house probably, enjoying the air- 
conditioning. Chad was either working 
or eating lunch. I pulled up to the cabin 
and hit the brakes, and when I skidded 
into the concrete foundation, the rub- 
berized front of my bumper thumping 
into the cabin wall, 1 realized how fast 1 
had been going. 

1 got out of the truck carcfully, not 
wanting to look panicked. At the cabin, 
I knocked twice and when Chad didn't 
answer, I opened the door and stepped 
inside. 1 was shocked for a moment by 
the mess. The bed was unmade and the 


sheets were rumpled and soiled. The 
floor was liuered with garbage: grocery 
store bags, pizza boxes, clothes, even 
farm tools. I noticed, sticking out from 
under the bed, the wooden handle of a 
twitch I had been looking for just that 
morning. I knelt to retrieve the twitch 
and then jumped back at the sight of 
someone moving in the bathroom. It on- 
ly took me an instant to realize it was my 
own reflection in the mirror. When I 
straightened up, my heart was pound- 
ing. The mess in the cabin made me an- 
gry. 1t seemed like а small matter com- 
pared to the larger situation at hand— 
but it angered me. 1 couldn't help it. 
Even the walls, which I had painted at 
the beginning of the summer, appeared 
soiled. At the top of the bed, a large dis- 
colored area darkened the white paint. 
I couldn't imagine what had made the 
stain. Sweat? Did he stand on his bed 
and lean against the wall naked and 


“Part of me is willing to believe I’m irresistible, but a voice 
within me is shouting, Entrapment?” 


sweaty? The stain had roughly the pro- 
portions of someone's back. 

I muttered a curse at the condition of 
the cabin and looked around one more 
time for damage. In the bathroom 1 
noticed а grapefruit-sized hole in the 
plasterboard by the sink, and my mouth 
fell open. When I examined it, it looked 
like he might have simply put his fist 
through the wall. "Son of a bitch," I said 
aloud, and 1 touched my hand to my 
forehead and looked down, gathering 
my thoughts. At my feet, the bathroom s 
wastebasket overflowed. Under a crum- 
pled, stained sheet of toilet paper, some- 
thing glittery caught the light, and when 
1 moved the paper away with my toe, I 
saw it was an empty condom wrapper. 
I kicked the basket over and scores of 
wrappers spilled onto the floor, along 
with a good number of used condoms, 
some of them still soggy, others stiff and 
brittle. I leaned back against the sink 
and heard myself moan, as if 1 had just 
been told someone | love had died. In 
the bedroom, a brief search turned up 
Amy's pajamas, the apple-green ones 
she had worn on his first day at the farm. 
They were folded ncatly in onc of the ar- 
moire's drawers, along with several oth- 
er items of her clothing-—and something 
about how her few things were neatly 
folded and stacked, surrounded by the 
squalor of his things, made it all more 
painful. I picked up the pajamas and 
held them to my chest. and when I 
turned around, Chad was standing in 
the doorway. 

At first he looked like the same Chad, 
same boyish, sweet expression. Then he 
saw that 1 was holding Amy's pajamas, 
and he noticed the overturned wastebas- 
ket, and the pleasant expression on his 
face melted away. It was as if a mask 
came off, revealing someone I didn't 
know, someone different: cold where 
Chad was warm, impenctrable where 
Chad was vulnerable. He stood in the 
doorway, his legs spread as if for solid 
с. is arms crossed on his chi 
he wasn't going to stay a vir- 
gin forever, Deegan. She's nearly 17." 

I dropped her pajamas back into the 
dresser drawer. I wanted to ask him 
when it had happened. I wanted to ask 
how long it had been going on. I knew, 
though, that it had to be at night, after 1 
was asleep. Probably every night. The 
whole damn summer. That was why she 
had taken to going to bed early and 
sleeping late. It explained her mood, 
too—which I realized now was happi- 
ness. Hard to believe, how 1 didn't see it 
all summer. She was in love with h 

Chad remained in the doorway, solid 
asa statue. I wanted to get past him, in- 
to the sunlight and out of the squalor of 
the room. He met my eyes, his stare 
hard and powerful, 
stronger man and he knew it. “Chad,” I 
said. “Just get out of my way 

He didn't move. “Deegan,” he said. 


ere the 


"You can't protect her from the world 
I'm telling you as a favor. She's not 
dumb. She sees the way you've kept boys 
away from her, the way you've kept her 
hidden out here." 

"You're giving me a lesson on raising 
kids, Chad? After taking advantage of 
my 16-year-old daughter. Alter 

^] didn't take advantage of her, Dec- 
gan. I'm the best thing that ever hap 
pened to her. Those are her words. Ask 
her. She'll tell you.” 

“Tm sure,” I said. “I'm sure she will.” 
1 looked down at the floor a moment 
and then back. up at Chad. I took a step 
toward him. "Get out of my way, Chad. 

He moved aside. "It's insultin 
said, "trying to keep her from growing 
up. Not letting her make her own choic- 
es, whatever the consequence 

I stepped past him. From outside, 1 
said, "You make a good argument, 
Chad. You make your point well 
closed the door on him and walked away, 

At the house, I found Amy siting on 
the porch rocker, writing in her journal. 
She was wearing a white summer dress 
with bright-red flowers, and she had her 
legs crossed under her, the light cotton 
fabric draped over her knees and the 
chair. She appeared sullen and barely 
looked up until I spoke to her, telling 
her we were going to the Lundsfords' for 
dinner. She gave in without a serious 
struggle. She went up to her room and a 
minute later, 1 heard music come on. In 
the living room, I sat and held my head 
in my hands. I wasn’t thinking much 
about anything. Somewhere outside a 
colt whinnied, and the sound slid 
through the house, high, along the ceil- 
ing and out the windows, while the low 
pulse of bass notes from Amy's room 
traveled through the floorboards 

I spent the rest of the afternoon in a 
strange, spacey state of mind. It seemed 
impossible that I would just go to Ollie's 
for dinner while I knew Chad was being 
beaten to death. I would tell him. I had 
to. Yet the afternoon went by and 1 nev- 
er left the house. At six, I went up to my 
bedroom and showered and dressed for 
dinner. 1 knocked on Amy's door to tell 
her we would be leaving soon. She didn't 
answer right away, but opened the door 
instead and offered me a bright smile 
and a kiss on the cheek. She said she'd 
be ready in half an hour, and I said fine 
and then went downstairs, thinking that 
gave me plenty of time to go tell Chad. 
But I never left the kitchen. I stood by 
the sink looking out the window, until 1 


heard Amy coming down the stairs. I 
was looking at the mountains, at their 
velvety coat of trees in the evening light 
and the way the darkness of the hollows 
was accented by the bright sun on the 
rises, turning the lush green woods into 
a garment fit for a king, thick and lux- 
urious, draped over the body of the 
mountains. 
“Well?” Amy said. 


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I turned away from the window and 
found Amy dressed neatly in a long, 
dark, drawstring skirt and a modest 
white blouse. "You look lovely," I said. 

Amy smiled and did a pretend curtsy. 

In our car, in the driveway, with Amy 
in the passenger’s seat alongside me, I 
took the keys from the glove compart- 
ment I put them in the ignition but hes- 
itated then, as if I were trying to remem- 
ber something. 

Amy said, “Is anything wrong?” 

I turned to look at her but didn't 
respond. 

"You're sweating." she said, and hand- 
ed me some napkins from the glove 
compartment. 

“Must be hot flashes.” I mopped the 
sweat from my forehead and understood 
in that moment that I was planning on 
going to dinner and leaving Chad to his 
fate; that someplace, on some level, I 
had decided that Ollie was right, that 
what was going on between Chad and 
Jimmy was one act in an endless bloody 
drama and that my responsibility was to 
Amy, to keep her safe, to take care of my 
family. I also understood in that moment 
before I started the car that I couldn't do 
it. I said, "Would you mind waiting one 
minute, Amy? I need to tell Chad some- 
thing before we leave." 

"What?" she ed, obviously annoyed 
at my timing. 

“It won't take a minute," 
I hurried from the car to the pickup. 
which was parked alongside us 
drive. I winked at Amy as ] drove away. 
She looked back at me as if 1 had grown 
another head. 

At the cabin I flung the door open 
without knocking and found Chad 


standing by the armoire. “Chad,” I said, 
approaching him. " How well did you do 
in that English class?" I hit him hard 
across the chest with a forearm and 
knocked him down on the bed. “Re- 
member Rosencrantz and Guildenstern? 
Remember what Claudius tries to do to 
Hamlet?" 

For a moment he looked like hc was 
going to jump at me. Then he seemed to 
change his mind. He said, "What the 
fuck are you talking about, Deegan?" He 
pulled himself along the mattress and sat 
up with his back against the headboard. 

“I saw two guys at Ollie's farm. They 
were driving a blue Lincoln Continen- 
tal and wearing shoulder holsters. I saw 
them right after Amy and I were invited 
to dinner by a guy associated with your 
stepfather, a guy who's never invited 
anybody to dinner before in his life." 

Chad didn't say anything, but his face 
started to go pale at the mention of the 
blue Lincoln. 

“You recognize the car?” 

Yes," he said. He stopped abruptly, as 
if he suddenly remembered who hi 
talking to. "What did they look like: 

"Turns out your stepfather owns ИМ, 
Chad. Why do you think he would own 
a horse like that? That's a dangerous 
animal." 

Chad seemed to think a moment. 
“Sure,” he said, talking more to himself 
than to me. "Of course." 

"Be gone when I get back. Chad. You 
can leave Amy some sort of note—but 
don't see her again. Is that fair?” 

He didn't answer. He was still pale and 
looking away from me, at the far wall, as 
if he were looking through it to the 
mountains beyond. 


"Actually, we don't say 'nose job’ anymore. 
We prefer "rhinoplasty.'" 


1 closed the door firmly and drove 
back to Amy, who was waiting for me 
with a puzzled, exasperated expression. 
“All done,” I said, and started for Ollie's. 


Ti didn't take long to figure out why 
Ollie never invited anyone to his home. 
We weren't in the house two minutes be- 
fore Margaret asked us if we were saved. 
In the years since I'd last seen her, she'd 
gone from stout to massive, and the glit- 
tering intensity in her eyes struck me as 
half mad. She brought out the Bibles, 
three of them, one for Amy, one for me 
and her own. Ollie watched all this with 
a sad, impotent expression, leuing us 
know he was sorry for her behavior but 
unable to do anything about it. Until 
dinner was ready, Amy and I sat trapped 
on two uncomfortable, straight-back 
chairs, answering questions posed by 
Margaret about our interior, spiritual 
lives. She asked questions, we answered 
politely and then she lectured us, begin- 
ning every little speech the same way: 
When you Know Jesus, she'd start, and then 
she'd tell us how much fuller our lives 
would be once we were saved. 

Ollie and I never got a chance for a 
private word, though I'm not sure I 
would have told him anything. From 
time to time, while Margaret went on 
and on, I worried over the consequences 
of what I had done. I imagined a blue 
Lincoln Continental arriving at our door 
and delivering a pair of thugs who'd ex- 
ecute us, gangland style, a bullet apiece 
in the back of the head. At one point, I 
had a vision of the farm in flames, while 
a dark-suited young man held a gun 
to the back of Amy's head. The image 
was so disturbing, I think 1 must have 
made a noise of some kind, grunted or 
moaned, because Ollie and Amy both 
turned to look at me, though Margaret 
went on, deaf to anything but the import 
of her message. 

Eventually there was dinner, a dried- 
up. barely edible meat loaf. Margaret 
had indeed brought out the good china 
for us, but she had apparently neglected 
to wash it before setting the table. The 
plates and glasses, even the pewter can- 
dleholder at a center of a wrinkled, 
white tablecloth, were coated with a thin, 
greasy substance, the kind of grime that 
might accumulate after years of disuse 
on a pantry shelf. It was a strange expe- 
rience, that meal. It began with a stand- 
ing grace, during which we all held 
hands while Mai et intoned St. Fran- 
cis' Prayer, the one that begins Lord, make 
us Ihe instruments of thy peace. No one ate 
more than a bite or two of meat loaf, 
which Margaret seemed not to notice. B 
the time we were back in our car, heat 
ing for the farm, Amy had gone from 
discomfort to distress to amusement. 
"She's crazy,” she laughed, grasping her 
seat belt with both hands, as if she need- 
ed to steady herself. "The woman's out 


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of her mind!" She leaned close and gave 
me a deadpan look. “Did you see that 
meat loaf?” She screamed. 

1 laughed along with Amy, but my 
thoughts raced ahead to the farm. There 
was a stretch of driveway right before we 
reached the garage from which Chad's 
cabin was visible, and the spot alongside 
the cabin where he parked his car. It was 
late but the moon was almost full and 
Amy would be able to see the cabin clear- 
ly if she was looking—and I suspected 
she would be looking. I started up the 
drive speedily. hoping to hurry past the 
clear view ofthe dark cabin, and then al- 
most hit the brake when I saw Chad's 
chartreuse convertible, Alongside me, 
Amy stretched and yawned, though I 
had seen her head turn toward the cabin 
as soon as it came into view. "I'm sleepy," 
she said. 

1 nodded, my throat suddenly so dry 1 
wasn't sure I could speak. 1 got out of 
the car at the house and stood silently 
while Amy started for the door. 1 listened 
hard but heard only the sounds of the 
farm: a breeze rustling leaves, a horse 
rattling a bucket in one of the barns. 

“Are you coming?” Amy held the door. 

I looked down at the front tires, as if 
I had been concerned about the car, 
and then followed Amy into the house. 
1 went to the kitchen and opened the 
fridge. I cleared my throat. “I think I 
need something to eat." 

“No kidding," Amy said. She put her 
arm around my shoulder and looked in- 
to the fridge with me a moment. “I'm 
tired, though." She kissed me on the 
cheek and said, “ГЇ see you in the morn- 
ing," and went up to her room. 

1 closed the refrigerator, and when I 
heard the door to her room shut, I 
turned off the lights and looked out the 
back window. Chad's car was exactly 
where it had been when Amy and I left. 
I hesitated a minute at the sink, looking 
out at the farm's shadows, at the fence 
and the posts and the dark planks of the 
barns, the only sounds those coming 
from Amy's bedroom and the dull knock- 
ing of my own heart. I went out the back 
door and cut through a corral, walking 
at first but then jogging until I reached 
the steps of Chad's cabin. The lights 
were out, but the door was half open. 
"Chad," 1 said, and it came out sounding 
like a question I was asking myself. | 
pushed the door open and called his 
name again, though it was obvious, even 
in the dark, that the cabin was empty. In 
the bathroom I heard a steady trickle of 
water falling from the shower nozzle. I 
turned on the lights and the only things 
1 saw clearly before bolting out the door 
and hurrying to the stud barn were the 
bloody handprints on the shower stall 

"I told him," I said aloud. I almost 
shouted it. When I reached the barn, I 
was running, and when I saw the light 
on in HM's stall, I knew what I was go- 
ing to find. I stopped running before 1 


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got to the stall. HM stood looking out, 
facing me. He threw his head back twice, 
cocky and full of himself. "You bastard," 
I said to him, and then I said, again, "I 
told him." I knew what I was going to 
find in the stall and I didn't want to see 
it, and then when I did finally step up to 
the door and take hold of the bars and 
look in, it was as if I had stepped into 
a dream. I felt the numb paralysis of 
a nightmare, and 1 was unable for an 
ant to understand what I was see- 
g- When I did finally understand, 1 
couldn't think about it. I backed away 
from the stall empty-headed. I backed 
away from both of them, with their dark 
suits and dark ties, their heads bashed 
in, their faces bloody and slack over the 
crushed bones of their skulls. 1 backed 
away from the sight of them and walked 
out of the barn dazed. 

I made my way toward the house, 
through the open gates of the empty 
corral, in the moonlight. I was stunned 
and dizzy. I wasn't thinking at all. I was 
listening—to the small sounds coming 
from the grass at my feet, to horses mov- 
ing in the pastures, like there was a 
peaceful song being composed around 
me in the dark somewhere and I had to 
strain to hear it. I was looking—at the 
mountains, which seemed to undulate in 
the moonlight, powerfully, like ocean 


swells. I made my way toward my house, 
as if moving to a place of safety, a place 
where I could rest and figure things out 
As I neared the back door, a light came 
on in Amy's bedroom window, and I 
stopped a moment and watched her lean 
close to her dresser mirror, carefully ex- 
amining her face, and then lean back 
and begin lazily brushing her hair. | 
touched my face and felt that both my 
hands were slick with still-wet blood— 
and for a moment then I must have lost 
my mind, because I stood there thinking 
I had murdered them, those two kids in 
НМ” stall, those boys who were only 
Chad's age if not younger. It lasted a sec- 
ond or two, that belief, that knowledge 
that I was the murderer, before I solved 
the equation and understood that the 
bars of the stall must have been bloody 
and I got blood on my hands when I 
gripped them. But still, it lingered, that 
sense that 1 was the murderer. I was 
shaken. I struggled toward the house, 
surrounded by the peace of dark moun- 
tains and fields, knowing only that I 
needed to get cleaned up before Amy 
saw me. I didn't want to frighten her. 1 
didn't want her to see me with blood all 
over my face and hands. I didn't want 
her to wonder who I was. 


"Your anger management therapist is here early. Shall 
1 tell him to fuck off?" 


ROOF А бе 


(continued from page 96) 
Echinacea was a prized medicine among 
Plains Indians and has been approved 
by the nan government as a treat- 
ment for upper respiratory and urinary 
tract infections. 

Iwo controlled double-blind studies 
linked echinacea to less frequent colds 
anda reduction in the length and sever- 
ity of flu-like symptoms. Other studies 
suggest that echinacea stimulates the im- 
mune system, helping your body fight 
of bug: 

Despite echinacea's widespread use, 
no serious side effects have been report- 
ed, but the German Commission E ad- 
vises that people take it for no more than 
eight weeks at a time. 

Heart disease remains the number 
one killer of American men, and there's 
reason to believe garlic can offer protec- 
tion. Active chemicals in this pungent 
herb make it a lot more than just a cook- 
ing ingredient: It has been shown to kill 
bacteria and fungi, and evidence sug- 
gests it can lower cancer risk. 

Most studies show that sustained gar- 
lic consumption can also lower choles- 
terol by six to 11 percent (particularly 
LDL, which has been linked to heart dis- 
case) and reduce triglycerides as well. 

Similar research indicates that garlic 
lowers blood pressure (another coronary 
risk factor) by five to seven percent, and 
studies on animals show that it makes 
blood less likely to clot, which would fur- 
ther reduce the chance of a heart attack. 
or stroke. New data imply it makes blood. 
vessels more elastic and thus less likely to 
plug up. 

Side effects? It depends on who you 
hang out with. 

You can get a sufficient amount of gar- 
lic eating a raw clove daily (cooking may 
inactivate allicin, the chemical that ap- 
pears to do the work) or taking the 
equivalent in capsules (about 300 mg, 
two or three times a day). 

Even if you're healthy, it's unlikely you 
can escape stress. What you need is an 
herb, such as ginseng, to help you cope. 
Ginseng is considered an adaptogen— 
that t improves the body's ability 
to adapt to both physical and mental 
demands. 

Studies suggest that ginseng helps 
normalize the pituitary and adrenal hor- 
mones that stress can send out of whack. 
The Commission E report approves the 
herb "as a tonic for invigoration and 
fortification at times of faugue” and for 
"declining capacity for work and concen- 
tration." Side effects are rare, though in- 
somnia and nervousness can come with 
excessive doses. Some experts advise 
a week olT ginseng after two or three 
wecks on. 

It's important to know that several 
herbs go under the name ginseng. Most 
research has been done on Panax 


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ginseng (also known as Korean or Asian 
ginseng). Siberian ginseng (a.k.a. eleu- 
thero) is actually a distandy related (and 
somewhat less potent) plant that also 
seems to have adaptogen properties. 

When the demands of work and home 
life have you anxious and off the wall, 
consider Kava. This herb, prepared from 
the root of a tropical plant, is "the most 
powerful anti-anxicty preparation avail 
able without a prescription," says Jerry 
Cou, a pharmacologist with the National 
Institutes of Health. Several studies have 
shown significant reductions in nervous- 
ness, though less than with drugs such as 
Valium. By the same token, kava doesn't 
dull your mind and memory like heavy 
meds do. 

Save kava for occasional use when the 
stress gets you, Cott suggests. If you 
need it all the time, there's probably 
something in your life (job? a relation- 
ship?) that should be changed. 

If you're too stressed to sleep, valerian 
may do you good. This nasty-smelling 
root extract has been calming insom- 
niacs for centuries. Two small random 
trials (and a number of other studies) 
found that valerian helped people nod 
off faster and sleep more soundly—and 
left them refreshed, not logy, in the 
morning 

Unlike prescription sleeping pills, va- 
lerian doesn't lose any of its effect with 
continued usc. In fact, it seems to work 
better after you have taken it for several 
weeks. 

Too much stress can take its toll on 
your mood. The cffectiveness of St. 
John’s wort against mild depression led 
to a 20-fold increase in U.S. sales last 
year. The herb has been used for thou- 
sands of years and is widely prescribed 
in Europe (in Germany it outsells all oth- 
er antidepressants combined). A major 
study in the British Medical Journal ana- 
lyzed results from 23 controlled trials 
and called St. John's wort effec 
mild to moderate depr 
these trials found it works just as well as 
do prescription drugs. So great is the 
interest in the herb that the National 
Institute of Mental Health and other 
US. agencies have started a $4.3 million 
study of it. 

While prescription antidepressants 
come with a host of distressing side ef- 
fects—including sexual problems—St. 
John’s wort appears to have few, though 
it can make fair-skinned people sensitive 
to the sun. And it may be six to eight 
weeks before you're feeling better. 

te: If your mood is dark enough to 
interfere with work, or your personal 
life, don't treat it on your own. Ask a 
doctor about St. John's wort—or some- 
thing stronger. 

There's a category of herbs that is di- 
rected not at negative conditions but 
rather at increasing your health poten- 
tial. In this arca, ergogenic herbs prom- 
ise to enhance athletic performance. But 


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PLAYBOY 


156 


do they deliver? 
Ephedra has gotten a lot of press in re- 
cent years, most of it bad. Serious side ef- 
fects—irregular pulse, increased blood 
pressure, shakiness—and some deaths 
have been associated with its unwise use. 
But ephedra apparently works—on 
the mental side of sports, anyway, sug- 
gests Luke Bucci, vice president for 
rescarch at Weider Nutrition Interna- 
tional. "It's more for concentration, 
alertness, confidence. Weight lifters use 
it to motivate themselves." 
If you take ephedra, limit it to 24 mg 
of the active ingredient, ephedrine, per 
day. And don't combine it with other 
stimulants, such as caffeine (which many 
ephedra products contain). 
Speaking of which, coffee has similar 
eflects and is a far safer (if less sexy) nat- 
ural product. Caffeine revs you up and 


gets your muscles to burn fat instead of 


stored glycogen, for an endurance boost. 


Another possibility if you're into long 
runs or bike rides is eleuthero (a.k.a. 
Siberian ginseng). Several studies have 
shown it can improve aerobic capacity — 
your muscles burn more oxygen, which 
(according to a few reports) enables us- 
ers to run faster and farther. 

Real (Asian or Korcan) ginseng could 
be most helpful for long-term training. 
As an adaptogen, it helps your body 
bounce back after a heavy workout. Be- 
sides that, Asian ginseng seems to sharp- 
en mental performance—concentration 
and reaction time—and not just in 
sports. One controlled study found that 
college students who took it for 12 weeks 
performed math calculations faster. 

Again, note that Siberian and Asian 
ginseng require time to work. "If you 
want to see things happen, allow at least 
1wo months," says Bucci. 

Ginkgo biloba is also used to enhance 
mental performance. Ginkgo improves 


etter Sex, 


otanicaity 


sometimes you just can't beat mother nature 


"The search for a safe and natural 
product to make men harder has 
gone on for centuries, all around 
the world, without unearthing a 
botanical Viagra. But there are 
some herbs that deserve more than 
a second look. 

"The bark of the African yohimbe 
tree has the strongest claim—its ac- 
tive ingredient, yohimbine, is an ap- 
proved drug for erectile dysfunc- 
tion. But the modest benefits from 
yohimbine are a lot less impres- 
sive than its possible side effects, 
which include high pulse and blood 
pressure, nausea, vomiting and 
anxiety—hardly the recipe for a ro- 
mantic evening. The German Com- 
mission E refused to approve yo- 
himbe, citing its poor risk-to-ben- 
efit ratio. In this case the drug is 
safer and more effective than the 
herb: If it's yohimbine you want, 
get a prescription. 

A lot more promising is ginkgo 
biloba, which may well raise more 
than your IQ. The herb improves 
blood flow throughout the body— 
including the penis. In one trial in- 
volving 60 men with erectile dys- 
function, six months of ginkgo 
restored potency to half. Recent re- 
search strongly suggests that gink- 
go can redress the sexual damage 
(impotence, delayed ejaculation) 


wreaked by antidepressant drugs, 
and a controlled study is under way 
to evaluate the effect. 

Ginseng has been described by 
James Duke as “North America's 
most famous unproved aphrodisi- 
ac.” The herb's “tonic” properties 
have been shown to accelerate sex- 
ual behavior in mice and to increase 
testosterone and sperm production 
in human subjects. 

Garlic may sound like an unlike- 
ly sex enhancer, but Duke swears 
by it. The theory is intriguing: The 
herb is a rich source of arginine, an 
amino acid that aids the manufac- 
ture of nitric oxide. Nitric oxide ac- 
tivates an enzyme that allows the 
penis to swell with blood. (Viagra 
works by enhancing the effect of ni- 
tric oxide.) 

There are more—many more— 
herbal helpers whose value remains 
unproved. Ashwaganda, India's an- 
swer to ginseng, hasn't undergone 
much study in this country. The 
sexual reputation of muira puama 
has followed it all the way from the 
Amazon rain forest, but research 
doesn't justify its nickname of “po- 
tency wood": Commission E left 
muira puama on its unapproved 
list. The same goes for avena sati- 
va, whence comes the phrase "sow 
one's wild oats." 


blood flow to the brain and throughout 
the body and is approved in Germany 
for a host of circulatory problems. Here, 
a yearlong study of patients with Alzhei- 
mer's disease found that the herb im- 
proved thinking ability about as much as 
drug treatment. 

Does ginkgo help the healthy? In his 
clinical experience, "it improves ацеп- 
tion, concentration and memory," says 
Dr. Dharma Singh Khalsa, president and 
medical director of the Alzheimer's Pre- 
vention Foundation in Tucson, Arizona. 
Because it gobbles up free radicals — 
high-energy molecules that damage cells 
slowly but steadily—gingko is said to 
protect the brain against the toll of time. 

Deciding which herbs to use may be 
easier than choosing a brand. "There 
are some good products out there, and 
lousy forms of the same herbs," says Ty- 
ler. “The trouble is that there are no of- 
ficial standards for quality. You're at the 
mercy of the manufacturer." 

While experts are loath to endorse 
particular brands, most suggest going 
with the bigger and better-known, on 
the theory that they have more to lose by 
selling faulty goods. Herbs marketed by 
pharmaceutical companies (a growing 
trend) can be assumed to have under- 
gone reasonable quality control. 

Look for products that are standard- 
ized—the label will tell you how much of 
the herb is in every capsule, plus the 
amount of a key ingredient. If the prod- 
uct has the same formulation that was 
used in scientific trials—the best-case 
scenario—the label should say so. (For 
example: the ginkgo extract used in re- 
search is EGb 761; the tested form of St. 
John's wort extract has 300 mg of the 
herb, containing 0.3 percent hypericin.) 

Combinations of herbs are rarely test- 
ed as thoroughly as single ones—you're 
likely to get useless crap along with the 
good stuff. "Products containing a lot of 
different herbs often have too little of. 
any to do much," says Tyler. 

Don't bother with such cute ideas as 
ginkgo-flavored potato chips, kava can- 
dy bars or ginseng tea bags. These so- 
called fortified foods are more likely gim- 
micks than meaningful sources of herbs, 
says James Duke. 

As for safety, don't fall prey to two 
common misconceptions: that because 
something is “natural” it can do you по 
harm, and that if one pill is good, two or 
three are better. Take no more than the 
recommended dose. 

Herbs that will ordinarily caus 
no trouble may become toxic when used 
along with drugs (ginkgo and garlic, for 
example, can cause bleeding for some- 
one who is on a blood thinner). If you're 
taking any medication—prescription or 
over-the-counter—ask your doctor or 
pharmacist about possible interactions. 


you 


PLAYMATE S NEWS 


na Brooks. "You never know which ¿ 
stars to expect." As for her funky pink. 25 YEARS AGO THIS MONTH 
boa and space-cowboy hat (pictured 
below left), Deanna explains with a 
laugh: "I went all out in full disco 
gear. A friend of mine designed my 
silver cowboy hat. It says F*** OFF, and 
Hef thought it was hilarious.” 


BUNNY HUNT 


Gloria Steinem, watch out: Playboy 

Bunnies are back in a big way. Miss Organized Crime. But 

August 1986 Ava Fabian (below) trav- i the issue’s luminary 

eled to London, Amsterdam, Stock- | | was Miss July 1974 

holm and Mu- i | Carol Vitale, a sun- 

nich to recruit ny Bunny turned 

20 women to Playmate from Mia- 

staff the new mi. Although Carol 

at Playboy Mansion West Playboy Casi- was set to trade in 

was an undisputed w no at Hotel her Bunny cars for 

ner. The scene: disco- | des Roses on a carcer with a major airline, she 

clad Playmates whooping the Greek isle ultimately decided she would 

it up with hundreds of TV. movie of Rhodes. miss working with PLAYBOY too 

and sports stars, including Kevin More than 300 much. “I’ve got lots to do, and 

Costner, Jeff Goldblum, Drew Carey, women audi- I'm happy all the time,” she said 

Claire Danes, Oscar De La Hoya, ; tioned with in her Playmate profile. We can't 
Andy Dick, Dan Aykroyd, : hopes of join- imagine the summer of 74 with- 

ing the new athens 
generation of 


Playboy Bun- 
nies. After the cottontail-worthy were 
chosen, they were whisked away to 


The Evander Holyfield-Lennox 
Lewis battle for the heavyweight title 
ended in a controversial draw, but 
Hef's postfight Boogie Nights party 


Our summer celebration in- 
duded Glug, Blub, Snap!—a rous- 
ing feature on un- 
derwater cameras; 

Wish You Were Here, 
a humorous look at 
naughty postcards; 
and The American 
Nightmare: Part XII 
of Playboy's History of 


tensive training (mastering the Bun- 
ny Dip is still a must) from Bunny 


Bunny School for four weeks ofin- : Mother Judi Bradford. 


Dozens of Ploymotes 
who were too young 
to enjoy the Seventies 
mode up for los! time 
ot Hef's disco blowout 
Top, from left: Dophnee Lynn Duploix, Hef 
ond Tishora Cousino. Middle: Jessico Lee, 
Kelly Monoco ond Deonro Brooks belly up 
to 90210 stor Vincent Young. Above: Drew 
Corey yucks it up with 198B Ploymote of the 
Yeor Indio Allen 


Before they become 
movie stors, television 
regulors ond household 
потез, the women feo- 
tuted in Playboy's Ploy- 
mate Tests (Ployboy 
Press) were girls next 
door with o dream. The 
newly published Newssiond Spe. 


son, Jonathan Silverman, Talk Soup's 
John Henson, Tori Spelling and Jon 
Lovitz. "It's amazing how many cool 
people have shown up at the Mansion 
lately,” reports Miss May 1998 Dean- 


ciol showcoses more thon 15 of 
your fovorite Centerfolds in the eor- 
ly doys, including (clockwise from 
top left). Shoe Morks, Liso Morie 
Scott, Koren Velez, Alesho Oresko 
vich and Julie McCullough 


MICKEY WINTERS: 


"As for being o Bunny, I loved it 
We were like celebrities then.” 


My 
Favorite Playmate 
By 
Tori Spelling 


I think all the Playmates are 
beautiful and individual. My fa- 
vorite, though, is Miss Septem- 
ber 1997 Nikki Schieler—oth- 
erwise known as Nikki Schieler 
Ziering. I'm not just saying 
that because she's 
a personal friend 
and the wife of 
my Beverly Hills 
90210 co-star 
Ian Ziering. 
She's beautiful 
and one of the 
sweetest people 
I have ever met. 
There's nothing 
fake or pretentious 
about Nikki. And 
she's funny. which 
is something a lot 
of people probably 
don't know. 


'On February 12 and 13 I partici- 
pated in my first dance competition. 
the California Open DanceSport 
Championships. I danced the tango, 
merengue, mambo, rumba and cha- 
cha and ended up with 14 first places, 
four second plac- 
es and two third. 
places. Гуе been 
training for only 
four months and 
am excited about 
a future in pro- 
fessional dance 
and working in 
various shows, 
commercials, 
movies, TV and 
more. In this pic- 
ture, I'm doing 
the cha-cha with 
my dance in- 
structor, Jorge 
Geronimo." 
— BARBARA 
MOORE 


This year more fans than ever ex- 
pressed support by casting their votes 
for Playmate of the Year through the 
magazine, Playboy TV and the Inter- 
nct. In addition to PMOY Heather 
Kozar, reader favorites included Lau- 
ra Cover, Lisa Dergan, Tiffany Taylor, 
Vanessa Cleason, Angela Little, Julia 

168 Schultz and the Dahm triplets. 


PLAYMATE NEWS 


PLAYMATE BIRTHDAYS 


July 3: Miss August 1977 
Julia Lyndon 

July 4: Miss July 1966 
Tish Howard 

July 9: Miss May 1975 


Bridgett Rollins 

July 22: Miss March 1980 
Henriette Allais 

July 31: Miss March 1992 
Tylyn John 


Four months into Playmate life, 
Miss March 1999 Alexandria Karlsen 
wants you to know one thing: She's 
having a blast. We checked in with the 
Arizona native over the phone 
Q: Have you used your Playmate sta- 
tus to do anything cool? 

A: [Laughs] I try to. It's nice to be al- 
lowed into exclusive clubs. Truth is, I 
don't go out very often. 

Q: Your Centerfold appeared in the 
March 1999 issue, which featured 
Kiss on the cov- 
er. Have you 
ever fantasized 


A: Ihave always 
wanted to be a 
singer. Unfor- 
tunately, I'm 
tone-deaf. 

Q: What are 
some of the jobs 
you had before 
you became a 
Playmate? 

A: Nothing cra- 
ту—1 was a receptionist at a car deal- 
ership and 1 worked at a brokerage 
firm. I've been modeling on and off 
since I was 15. 

Q: What are your vices? 

A: I don't drink or smoke, but you 
wouldn't believe how much candy 
and junk food I eat. 

Q: What do women want from men? 

A: I can't speak for all women, but 
I like a guy with a great sense of 
humor, who is well read and able 
to speak intelligently about current 
events. 

Q: Are you a good kisser? 

A: Let's just say I haven't had any 
complaints. 

Q: Do you tan topless on vacation? 

A: No, but I'm willing to try. 

О: What's the most bizarre place that 
you've made love? 

A: [Laughs] It was just the other day, 
in the car in an airport parking 
garage 


Alexandria Korlsen 


PLAYMATE GOSSIP 


Julia Schultz is the new spokes- 
woman for Poway Road of Cars, 
a chain of six auto dealerships 
near her hometown of San Di- 
ego. In addition to appear- 

ing in a new locally tele- 

vised commercial every 
month for the next two 
years, Julia scored a 
1999 red Mustang con- 
vertible. ... 

Want a free auto- 

graphed copy of the 

"Ienison twins calen- 

dar that’s pictured at 

right? Click on teni 

sontwins.com and 

become a platinum 

member; the cal- 

endar is a bonus. 

To see Renee Ten- 

ison in action, 

look for her in 

episodes of Mor- 

tal Kombat and 

Pamela Ander- 

son’s TV show, 

И.Р... Did you 

catch Victoria Silv- 

stedt's appearance 

as nurse Ingrid in the 

series finale of Melrose Place? 

For more news on the beautiful 

PMOY 1997, check out www.oHi 

cialvictoria.com. . . . Angel Boris 

has two new movies under her 

belt: the independent science fic- 

tion movie Interceptors and War- 

lock: The End of Innocence. . . . 

Wondering what's shaking in 

Carmen Berg's life? Drop her a 

line at PO. Box 3157, Beverly 

Hills, California, 90212. Lisa 

Dergan and Kelly Monaco blew 

into the Windy City for a radio 

chat show gig and to host a Year 

of the Rabbit party at Rednofive. 

When they arrived in classic Bun- 

ny costumes, the 

crowd went wild. 


Liso ond Kelly 


DAVID wells 


(continued from page 92) 
“You know, my shoulder hurts, my arm," 
and she just took my arm and, man, she 
had me on the ground, begging. I have 
to find her and get another of those 
things. Last time, we were in public. I 
wish we weren't. Maybe next time. I real- 
ly enjoy Winona. She's a rebel. Tike that. 
PLAYBOY: Why would Bill Clinton risk so 
much for a blow job? 
мешу: Blow jobs are good. Receiving 
them, that is. 
PLAYBOY: 
be wrecked? 
weLLs: Doesn't matter: It's an awesome 
thing, man. It doesn't have to be a god- 
dess, either. In the heat of the moment, 
fuck it. Go for it. There is nothing wrong 
with what he did. He just got caught. 
That bitch who turned in his ass, fucking 
Linda Tripp, she's a piece of shit. She 
wanted all that recognition and all she 
did was corrupt the world for a year. 1 
have one word for Linda Tripp: piece 
of shit. 
PLAYBOY: Have you ever had phone sex? 
WELLS: A couple times. But I'm not doing 
it with you, dude. 


n if your presidency could 


PLAYBOY: Does glorified white trash wear 
cologne? 

WELLS: Yeah, Come to Me. Does it smell 
like come to you? 

PLAYBOY: Which team has the best locker- 
room buffet? 

WELLS: The good spreads are in New 
York, Texas and Tampa, but the best is 
in Oakland, because they have Mexi- 
can food 

PLAYBOY: What's your biggest turn-on? 
мец: A chick with blue jeans, boots and 
a Tshirt. Kinda makes you want to jack, 
don't it? 
PLAYBOY: And a turnoff? 

мец: Rude people. 

PLAYBOY: Favorite movie of all time? 
WELLS: The Outlaw Josey Wales. Love Clint 
Eastwood. Love Westerns. 

в лувоу: Do all umpires suck? 

WELLS: Not all of them, but there are 
plenty of incompetent ones. They just 
don't try to get it right and don't want 
to improve. They just want to be hard- 
ass. Then you get one who's got a chip 
on his shoulder. You piss him off and 
he's pissed the whole game, then he 
holds a grudge against you and screws 
you every time. One guy last year just 
kept squeezing my ass. I'm throwing 


I Devt Kew WHY Yeu BeUGHT А 
PERSWAL COMPUTER, WEEVIL -. 


SPEAKING OF CHAT ROOMS » 
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME {со 
COKE Te A REAL” AWE WOMAN 
TACE-TO FACE AND In THE FLESHÉ 
Боку You REALIZE THAT ANY 
FEMALE WHO (оё BY THE HANDLE 
CYBER SLOT” гэ NT SNE NE 
You WANT CHEKINGT 

фор. MeoS e? 


pitches right down the frickin’ middle 
and he's calling ‘em all balls. I told him 
he was horseshit and for some reason he 
ran me. That sucks. That's what makes 
the game go bad. 

PLAYBOY: Do you feel like caving in a 
guy's face when he comes up after taking 
you out of the park? 

WELLS: Nah. Greg Vaughn took me out 
twice in game one of the World Series, 
on two real good fastballs. 1 just tipped 
my cap to him. Jim Thome hit one 
against me in the playoffs that went so 
high and so far I just said, "Wow." What 
should I do? Yell "Fuck you!" as he's go- 
ing around the bases? You can't take it 
personal. I do take it personal if a guy 
hits one out and stands there admiring 
it. Do that, you're going to get a prob- 
lem. You're going to get the next one in 
your ear. 1 will hit you. You will pay. 
PLAYBOY: You like to buzz guys who are 
leaning over the plate, don't you? 
WELLS: You can't be afraid to pitch in- 
side. Too many pitchers are. They're 
afraid to hit a guy. So what? Hit the 
fucker! Kill "em all! 


оме STOCKED UP on 


Y ov STURE, I SEE. 


o. “VIRTUAL VIXENS IN 

Guck TIME, WELL, THAT 

DESCRIBES MY STAYING 
POWER TS А TEE. 


Р Im TELLING You, WEEVIL, 

YourRE N WAY OVER Уор. EAD. 

You'RE AN INNOCENT, А NEOPHYTE, | 
A NEWBIE... 7 


TANKS ALT. ВЕС. 
(S A CHAT Room FoR UUDROPLANERS 
15 NOT MY (DEA oF PROGRESS - 


SEE, WAKT DD 3- TELL You? 
Vou/QE Мет ONLINE FWE MINUTES 
AND ALREADY You7VE 

CONTRACTED A VIRUS. 


PLAYMATE HOSTS 
IN 


Kimberly Spicer 
Miss June 


more 
tayoy 


PLAYBOY ORIGINAL SERIES 


e 9 
coti 
= d 


imagined... 


t our summer just got hotter with Playboy TV's 

Ж ы i programming in June. In the Playboy Original 
жик = Movie | Like to Play Games Too, a seductive busi- 
nesswoman gets involved with the most daring 


and dangerous deal of her life. Next, Earth- 
invading aliens plotting sex-driven domination 
and a sexually insatiable monster set the stage 
for the hilariousiy campy adult movie Double 


DEPOSITION POSITION 
P RES JUNE 18 


Feature. Then revel in the sheer spice that 
adventuresome amateurs capture on tape in 
the Playboy Original Series Best of Naughty 
‚Amateur Home Videos IIl. And in the Playboy 
Original Series Sex Court: Deposition Position, the 
sexy bailiff's handcuffs and tickle-whip are 
always ready to administer Judge Julie's every 
punishment. Finaily, a beautifully shy librarian 
seeks pleasure in a garden filled with erotic 
marble figures in the adult movie Statues. It’s a 
Playboy TY sizzlin' summer 24 hours a day. 


| LIKE TO 
PLAY GAMES 


E12 


Visit our wobsito: 


Playboy TY ls avallabla from your оса cabo olvison oporalor 
or homo saolito, DIRECTV, PRIMESTAR or DISH Комо doo. 


(©1990 Playboy 


LfePIEAYIBOYS*S 
(ON-THE-SCENE) 


In front: Fidelity Investments’ Instant Bro- 
ker Service lets qualified clients make trades 
via a Research in Motion interactive pager. The 
price: about $350 for the RIM pager and $50 to 
$60 per month, depending on service options. In 
back: Qualcomm’s pdQ800 is a combination 
cell phone and Palm organizer that lets you 
access stock information via the Internet (be- 
tween $500 and $1000). 


ireless gadgets that receive in- 
formation pertinent to your 
stock portfolio are being in- 
troduced faster than you can 
say "dump 200 shares of almostnewyugos. 
com." Although some come with blue-chip 
price tags (hardware can cost upwards of 
$300 with monthly service fees of $100 
or more), there are plenty ol moderately 
priced alternatives for those who want an 
efficient way to monitor the market, Hard- 
core day traders, for example, should check 
out QuoTrek and MarketClip. The former is a cal- and the Sharp TelMail TM-20 can zap data 
culator-sized FM receiver that provides financial up- across standard phone lines. You simply hold 
dates from all the major U.S. markets. MarketClip is an accessory the device up to a telephone receiver, listen while it emits a series 
that turns Windows CE computers and the Palm organizers Ш, Illx of signals and then wait a few seconds while your messages and 
and V into traveling tickers. For an $80-per-month subscriber fee, stock quotes are downloaded as e-mail. —Юг ENOS 
stock quotes, charts and cross-market cverviews are deliv- 
ered to MarketClip-ecuipped gear via Reuters and Aether 
The new Palm VII (with a wireless modem) comes load- 
ed with E-Trade, a service that offers stock market infor- 
mation as part of the Palm's monthly $10 wireless fee. 
E-Trade is also loaded on Qualcomm's pdQ800, a combi- 
nation digital and analog cell phone and Palm organizer. 
Preler to get your updates on a pager? Beepwear Pro, a 
wristwatch pager from Timex and Motorola, provides 
stock updates while displaying messages and e-mail 
WolfeTech's PocketGenie software lets you pull up stock 
quotes, news, sports updates and movie listings on the 
Research in Motion 950 interactive pager and Moto- 
rola PageWriter 2000. If all of your eggs are in one bas- 
ket inamely that 
of Fidelity Invest- 
ments, Siebert, Mo- 
beo or W-Trade) 
you can opt for an 
interaclive pager 
that tracks your 
portfolio’s рейог- 
mance and also 
allows you to make 
instant trades. And 
should you find 
yourselt out of 


wireless range—or unwilling to pay exorbi- 
tant roaming charges—the JVC HC-E100 


Left: Sharp's TelMail TM-20 receives 
stock-quote updates via standard phone 
lines ($150, plus $10 per month for Pock- 

etMail e-mail service). Above: QuoTrek, by 
Data Broadcasting, is an FM receiver that taps into the major 
stock and futures markets, including Nasdaq, the New York 
Stock Exchange and the Dow Jones ($300, plus $100 per 
month). Right: 3Com’s Palm VII has an onboard wireless mo- 
dem and E-Trade software, which delivers instant portfolio 
data (about $800, plus $10 per month). 


Din 


GEORGE GEORGIOU WHEKE к HOW и HUY OS PAGE 153, 


171 


172 


Feast Your 
Eyes on 
Cherisse 
1 ©» CHERISSELA- © 
м 


ен 


REUXhas 4 
appeared оп 
Jy Hills ¥ 
dand 
tasy do. 
She's in ош 
tasies, too. 


Tweak Those Cheeks 


s: She has appeared on Spin City and in the 
"s Secret catalog, and she's had a Sports Hus- 
trated swimsuit cover. Give up? She's HEIDI KLUM. 


Se 


Habla ы 
Espanol 
ENRIQUE IGLE- f >“ Р 
SIAS (Julio's 
baby) has 
been the 
best-selling 
Latin artist 
for the past Beach 
three years | Peach 
and has If ASHIYN 
received GRAHAM 
both à looks familiar, 
Grammy check your 
and an Hooters cal- 
American endar or 
Music scope out her 
award all-star Hula 
for Bowl poster. | 
Things Ashlyn's mod- \ 
of Love. eling career 
has legs. è | 
> 


2] 


$ 


Who Wears 
Short Shorts? 
CORY LANE has been on 
Silk Stalkings and in the 
movies Maui Heat and 
Baseketball. We're just. 
happy watching her work 
on her zipper. 


Downey 

Is Up 
ROBERT 
DOWNEY JR. has 
five movies on 
the screen this 


the thriller In 
Dreams (co-star- 
ring Annette 
Bening). Sure 
beats si 


ing i | 
the pokey. À 


$ 


A Bunch of Daisy 

America's Funniest Home Videos co-host DAISY FUENTES is still 
styling, though her days on MTV's House of Style are over. In beaded 
black, she has our number. 


SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST 


Gerber's rugged Sport Utility Pack is the per- 
fect backup for a day in the boondocks. Housed 
in ihe 12^x 11”x3” kit arc a folding spade and 
saw, an ax, a needlenose Mu lier 600 tool 
with a slew of blades, screwdrivers and openers, 
and an aluminum-bodied 2-D Mag-Lite. For 
the klutzy, there's a compartment stuffed with 
bandages, wound wipes, iodine ointment, as- 
pirin and instructions. Price: $250, at sporting 
and automotive stores nationwide. Or check 
www.gerberblades.com. 


RUM, ME HEARTIES 


Pyrat is old English for “pirate,” but any way 
you spell it, Anguilla Rums’ Pyrat ulırapremi 
um rums are fine drinks. Three types are avail- 
able: Pyrat Pistol, a lighter spirit in 375-ml bot- 
Planter's Gold XO Reserve, which is 
darker and richer; and Pyrat Cask 23, a limit- 
ed-edition bottling comparable to a vintage co- 
gnac. е: $25 for the Pistol, $45 for the ХО 
Reserve and $260 for the Cask 23. You can also 
buy Pyrat cigars, priced at about $325 for a box 
of 23. Call 800-723-4767 for more information. 


TEE 


i, 


POTPOURRI- — $- 


BOOKS FOR THE BEDROOM AND BEACH 


The long, hot summer just got hotter with these new reads. Riv- 
ercross Publishing's The Sexy Book ($15.95) by Alicia Roach con- 
tains witty listings of who and what is sexy in a variety of cat- 
egories, including soap opera stars and places to make love. 
There's even a chapter that helps you rate what kind of lover you 
are. Cooking as Courtship (Penelope Press, $30) by Susan Wiegand 
is a hardcover that explores "the ins and outs of love and friend. 
ship in the presence of food." Oulfoxing the Faxes ($28.95) by Ray 
Gordon reveals "how to seduce the woman of your dreams,” and 
s dedicated to Hef, "a true inspiration to all foxhunters.” (Con- 
tact Snodgrass Publishing at www.cybersheet.com to order.) And 
two 1998 books, Nerve: Literate Smul (Broadway, $15)—the best of 
the webzine Nerve.com—and Aphrodisiacs: A Guide to What Really 
Works (Citadel, $10.95), are still in bookstores. 


FERRARIS FOREVER 


d Ferrari 1947-1997: The Official Book may 
| weigh almost as much as one of the Grand 
Prix cups the marque won so easily back in 
the Fifties. Within its 406 pages are 777 illustrations (400 in col- 
or) and a text that chronicles engineering innovations, memories, 
yearly events, specilic models and testimonials by and about such 
drivers as Clemente Biondetti, Tazio Nuvolari, Eddie Irvine and 
Michael Schumacher, In other words, this is the definitive tome 
on Ferrari. Price: $95 slipcased. Published by Rizzoli. 


WHAT A DISH 


a funky Miami Beach store at 939 Lincoln 
Road in the Sterling Building. Owner 
Barbara Gillman says the 

glasses (below) are popular with guys be- 
cause “by their third drink the stem looks 
straight.” Price: $4.50 each. The Manhat- 
tan Blue Plate (also below) is $10.95. 
"There are hundreds of other items to 
choose from, including Club Havana ash- 
trays, $40. Call 888-347-4897 for info. 


THE SANDS OF TIME 


"Architectural marvels you can build at 
the beach" is the cover line for Sand- 
tiquity, a softcover book that shows you via 
color photos how to create pyramids, a 
Greek amphitheater and other structures 
of yore using wet sand and a straight- 
edge implement such as a shingle. Best of 
all, at the end of the day you get to play 
Godzilla. From Willow Creek Press, at 
800-859-w11b. Price: $16.95. 


STROKES AT STOKES 


The Ian Fleming Foundation is dedicated to the study and 
preservation of his works—"and, no, members don't dress up in 
white tuxedo jackets and smoke cigarettes in holders,” says Doug 
Redenius, the vice president. To raise money for projects such as 
a literacy scholarship program, the foundation will host a celebri- 
ty golf event September 24 at Stoke Poges, the golf course fea- 
tured in the 1964 James Bond film Goldfinger. A playing spot 


costs $475. For more information, call Redenius at 815-472-3002. 


ZZ LI 
qum 


CAMERA ART OF LUCIEN CLERGUE 


In 1969, Lucien Clergue founded Les Rencontres Arles, one of Eu- 
rope's most important photography festivals. A 30th anniversary show- 
ing of his work will be held July 7-31 at the Van Acker Gallery in Arles 
near Marseilles, In addition to Clergue's nudes (above) and bullfighting 
photos, a new book of his work, Grand Nus, will be available. If you'll 

be in the south of France during that time, drop by. 


CLASS 
VROOM 
"Think of it as 
a school with a 
120-mph study 
hall." That's the 


High Perfor- 
mance Riding 

School. But ac- 
cording to one of 

our editors, who survived two days aboard a Honda 600 at the 

Las Vegas Motor Speedway, “smoothness is everything. You learn 

to steer with your palms and discover the secrets of traction.” 

ices range from $1595 for the Basic Sport Rider course to 
$1895 for professionallevel training. Call 702-643-1099. 


NEXT MONTH 


TOMB RAIDER 


ALBERT BROOKS—THE FUNNIEST WHITE MAN IN AMERI- DO YOU WANT TO MAKE MONEY OR DO YOU WANT TO 
CA ON LOSING HIS VIRGINITY TO A PROSTITUTE, BECOM- FOOL AROUND?—SAGE INVESTMENT ADVICE FROM A 
ING A FATHER IN HIS 50$ AND THE OSCAR ACCEPTANCE GUY WHO HAS SPENT 40 YEARS IN THE TRENCHES. BOOK 
SPEECH HE NEVER GAVE. A LONG-AWAITED PLAYBOY IN- EXCERPT BY JOHN SPOONER 


TERVIEW BY BILL ZEHME 
THE SOPRANOS—THE BEST SHOW ON TELEVISION IS A 


MY ADVENTURES WITH STANLEY KUBRICK—IT'S NOT FAMILY SAGA IN EVERY WAY AND JAMES GANDOLFINI IS 
EVERY DAY YOU'RE SUMMONED TO WORK FOR A LEGEND. ONE TALENTED CAFO. BY JOE MORGENSTERN 


IAN WATSON SHARES A GLIMPSE INSIDE THE HOME AND 
HEAD OF THE LATE, GREAT FILMMAKER WEB MUSIC—THE FAMILIAR WAYS TO GET MUSIC ARE IN- 


CREASINGLY PASSE. HERE'S HOW TO USE YOUR COMPUT- 
PAPA'S 100TH—A TITAN OF THE CENTURY IS GONE. BUT ER TO ACCESS MUSIC LIKE А 21ST CENTURY TECHNO MAN. 
HIS LIFESTYLE LIVES ON. A TRIBUTE TO ERNEST HEMING- BY DEAN KUIPERS 
WAY AND THE ADVENTURER IN ALL OF US. BY CRAIG 
BORETH SUMMER SWEAT—A WOMAN AND A MARRIED PROFES- 


SOR HAVE A SEXY OUTDOOR AFFAIR. FICTION BY JOYCE 
LARA CROFT—NOT SINCE JESSICA RABBIT НАЗ A CAR- CAROL OATES 


TOON VIXEN GOTTEN US SO SEXED UP. MEET THE REAL- 

LIFE INSPIRATION FOR TOMB RAIDER'S PISTOLPACKER IN SHANNON ELIZABETH —WE WAITED FOR HER HOT SUM- 

THE FLESH MER MOVIE, AMERICAN PIE, TO BE RELEASED. SHANNON'S 
WORTH THE WAIT—TAKE OUR WORD. A SIZZLING TEN- 


THE MAN SHOW—PROPRIETY BE DAMNED. ADAM CAROL- PAGE PICTORIAL 


LA AND JIMMY KIMMEL JAW ABOUT THEIR TESTOSTERONE- 

FUELED TV GIG, FEATURING MIDGETS. РУВОТЕСНМС$ PLUS: MUSCLE CARS, GOLF CRUISES, DRIVING SHOES, 
AND SCANTILY CLAD WOMEN ON TRAMPOLINES. C. ANDA. LITTLE ANNIE FANNIE DISCOVERS VIAGRA AND WE UN- 
BY ROBERT CRANE COVER OUR WARM-WEATHER PLAYMATE 


WH] IS EVER[BOD/ So HUNG ue VLL HAVE ANOTHER SMIRNOFF, 
ON THIS 126 THING? AND A NEWSPAPER FoR м] FRIEND HERE 
ISN'T THAT Some SORT OF JELLY? 


ALL VODKA. No PRETENSE. 


DRIVE RESPONGIBL) NO MATTER HAT ANJONE ELSE THINGS. 


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SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Smoking 


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Emphysema, And May Complicate Pregnancy.