Skip to main content

Full text of "PLAYBOY"

See other formats 


GIBLS OF THE BIG 12//TOP PARTY SCHOOLS// NO MEM |) 

200: JEFF GARLIN// THE INTERVIEW: | AM 
JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT//THE WORST MOVIE | iG, yf 
EVER MADE//WEAPONS OF THE FUTUBE MR 


2 
7, 
“Gp Ds 
СТУ 


ШУ) A 


Introducing the new Atacamas 
The Chilean Atacama Desert, one of the driest areas in the entire world, was the inspiration for Luminox's Atacama Field Series. The newest pieces, day-date 


models (1920 series) and chronograph alarm models (1940 series), feature both earthy and bold new color ways, and the return of the classic Black-on-Black. 


This page, from top left: 
Atacama Field Day-Date 1929 | Atacama Field Chronograph Alarm 1944.M 
Atacama Field Chronograph Alarm 1944 | Atacama Field Day-Date 1922.BOB 


ESSENTIAL GEAR. 


Atacama Field Chronograph Alarm 1949: 45mm, black PVD stainless steel case with screw case back and screw 
down crown, antireflective sapphire crystal, water resistant to 100 meters, alarm feature, vintage brown leather 
strap with black PVD buckle, and Luminox self-powered illumination. Swiss Made. 

Preferred timepiece of automotive enthusiasts. 


Available at Tourneau and Other Fine Retailers Nationwide. 


ALWAYS 
“VISI BLE 


Constant Glow for up to 25 Years. 


facebook.com/Luminox f 


E Williams 


| 
Юк? LAA à 
9: STRAIGHT ^ 3 | 
ike | 
Ù 
| ( 4 en 
\ | TILLED INK N 


SERIOUSLY GOOD BOURBON. 


EvanWilliams. com f E) 


Think Wisely. 
Drink Wisely. 


cy 


Æ ur country wasn't content to have the 

Д most guns; it needed Cody Wilson to 
Чы} 3-D-print them. The Texan, living by 
his own brand of “proto-fascistic-anarcho- 
republicanism,” is blurring the line between 
intellectual and physical property with his 
push (and State Department lawsuit) to give 
everyone the ability to download handguns. 
And over in Western Europe, smart guns— 
which discharge only for their owners—are 
well developed, but the NRA wants to prevent 
their arrival here. In The Perfect Weapon, 
William Wheeler details this ongoing col- 
lision between technology and firearms. If 
there's anything America loves as much as 
guns, it's movies—especially ones so bad 
they're good. In The Battle Over the Worst 
Movie Ever Made, Jake Rossen traces the 
conception and revival of 1966's Manos: 
The Hands of Fate, a film so nonsensi- 
cal it verges on hilarity. Today it stands as 
a junk-cinema classic, and the director's 
son is fighting for the rights to it. For a les- 
son in good filmmaking, we turn to Joseph 
Gordon-Levitt's Playboy Inter- 
view, in which the actor reveals his 
secret to achieving greatness ina 
variety of roles. After all, he plays 
everything from high-wire artist 
Philippe Petit to whistle-blower 
Edward Snowden to a yuletide 
stoner in a trio of films out later 
this year. Between acting, directing 
and founding his own media com- 
pany, Gordon-Levitt should look 
into his vacation policy. It may 
be hard to imagine Jeff Garlin 
without Larry David in tow, but as 
the patriarch on The Goldbergs, 
Garlin is one of many reasons the 
show is enjoying a third season. 
Find out about his long-ago role 
on Baywatch and how a laid-back demeanor 
belies his anxiety in 20Q, photographed by 
Chris Buck. Do you like mayo? If not, you're 
a monster. Julia Bain e's Food guide 
to unlocking the condiment's potential will 
convert the most adamant naysayer. In My 
Feet Are Fire by Georgia Regents Univer- 
sity's Donnie Watson, our 29th College 
Fiction Contest winner, chubby Duncan ven- 
tures into a foreign realm—a nightclub—and 
comes face-to-face with the kind of hulking 
bro he'd normally avoid. The accompany- 
ing illustration by Amanda Moeckel of the 
School of Visual Arts sets the story alight. In 
Talk, Eric Alt takes us rinkside for the debut 
of women's professional hockey, poised to 
shine a spotlight on an often overlooked side 
of the game. Jessica Ogilvie's Forum essay, 
"Oculus Rift and the Future of Sex,” explains 
how the first advanced, mass-produced 
virtual-reality headset will affect pornog- 
raphy. VR sex, 3-D-printed guns and Joseph 
Gordon-Levitt all grown up—the future is 
terrifyingly cool, huh? 


COM 


CA 90046 


MOODSOFNORWAY. 


7964 MELROSE AVE LOS ANGELES 


moods of norway 


VOL. 62, NO. 8— OCTOBER 2015 


AYBOY 


CONTENTS 


PHOTOGRAPHY, THIS PAGE AND COVER, BY GAVIN BOND 


: THE PERFECT 

: WEAPON 

E Will tech-savvy guns 

i save lives or wreak havoc? 

i WILLIAM WHEELER eyes 
i the future of firearms. 


| THE BATTLE OVER 
| THE WORST MOVIE 


EVER MADE 


; When an incredibly bad 

; film becomes an unlikely 

i cult hit, who profits? JAKE 
i ROSSEN finds out. 


| THE MOST 


IMPORTANT MAN 
IN SPORTS 


, NEAL GABLER profiles Dr. 
: James Andrews, the surgeon 
¿ with billion-dollar hands. 


PLAYBOY’S TOP 
PARTY SCHOOLS 


E At these 10 schools, final 
EC spelled R-A-G-E-Ryand 
і the school uniform might 
і aswellbea toga. 


MY FEET ARE FIRE 


; College Fiction Contest 

: winner DONNIE WATSON 
i tells astory about self- 

i discovery in strange places. 


: JOSEPH GORDON- 


LEVITT 


i DAVID HOCHMAN finds 

: out how the atypical child 
i actor became a star who 

і thinks outside the screen. 


: JEFF GARLIN 


i From Baywatch to Conan 


to Colbert, TAFFY 


| BRODESSER-AENER 

i draws out the hidden life 
; behind the comic’s placid 
: demeanor. 


When Australian Guess 
girl Simone Holtznagel 
channels her inner coed to 
cover our College Issue, the 
boys come running. Our 
Rabbit, as always, is one 
step ahead—anda great 
study buddy, as it turns out. 


PLAYMATE: Ana Cheri 


WHAT CODE ISN’T 
It’s easy to feel you need 
to learn to code to keep 
up with the world. JOHN 
AVLUS talks to tech 
titans to prove the world 
isn’t as algorithmic as 
you think. 


WHO NEEDS 
TALENT? 

Tinder makes sex easy. 
Too easy. JOEL STEIN 
explains why everyone’s 
going soft as first 
impressions morph into 


a series of right swipes. 


LOVE ME, LOVE 

MY FOLKS 

Don't tolerate a woman's 
parents out of obligation, 
says HILARY WINSTON— 
tolerate them because it 
means the world to her. 


OCULUS RIFT 
AND THE FUTURE 
OF SEX 
ESSICA OG ТЕ traces 
how Oculus Rift could 
impact human sexuality— 
and how censors could 


stand in the way. 


CHELSEAS, LATELY 
The Beatles rocked this 
boot as effortlessly as you 


can. VIN ‘BOUCHEF 
shows you how. 


VOL. 62, NO. 8-OCTOBER 2015 


PLAYBOY 


CONTENTS 


BEFORE SUNSET 
Model Polina Putilova 
enjoys the remains of 

summer with a sultry 

outdoor stroll. 


MA CHERI 
Get cozy with Miss 
October Ana Cheri, a 
fitness fiend with a 
daybreak routine that 
could turn anyone into 
amorning person. 


GIRLS OF 
THE BIG 12 
This classis 
more selective 
than Harvard 
and sure as hell 
prettier too: From 
Baylor to West Vir- 
ginia, meet 10 ladies 
giving schools on the 
coasts a bad name. 


WORLD OF 
PLAYBOY 
Another Midsummer 
Night's Dream draws 
out the stars at the 
Mansion; Playboy 
nerds out at Comic- 
Con; Kennedy 
Summers reveals her 


20Q: Jeff Garlin 


PLAYBILL 
DEAR PLAYBOY 
AFTER HOURS 


taa 3 ENTERTAINMENT 
lucrative) day job. Є RAW DATA 
41: PLAYBOY 
i ADVISOR 


PARTY JOKES 


PLAYBOY ON PLAYBOY ON PLAYBOY ON 
FACEBOOK TWITTER INSTAGRAM 


GET SOCIAL Keep up with all things Playboy at 
facebook.com/playboy, twitter.com/playboy 
and instagram.com/playboy 


GENERAL OFFICES: PLAYBOY, 9346 CIVIC CENTER DRIVE, BEVERLY HILLS, CALIFORNIA 90210. PLAYBOY 
ASSUMES NO RESPONSIBILITY TO RETURN UNSOLICITED EDITORIAL OR GRAPHIC OR OTHER MATE- 
RIAL. ALL RIGHTS IN LETTERS AND UNSOLICITED EDITORIAL AND GRAPHIC MATERIAL WILL BE 
TREATED AS UNCONDITIONALLY ASSIGNED FOR PUBLICATION AND COPYRIGHT PURPOSES, AND 
MATERIAL WILL BE SUBJECT TO PLAYBOY'S UNRESTRICTED RIGHT TO EDIT AND TO COMMENT EDI- 
TORIALLY. CONTENTS COPYRIGHT © 2015 BY PLAYBOY. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. PLAYBOY, PLAYMATE 
AND RABBIT HEAD SYMBOL ARE MARKS OF PLAYBOY, REGISTERED U.S. TRADEMARK OFFICE. NO 
PART OF THIS BOOK MAY BE REPRODUCED, STORED IN A RETRIEVAL SYSTEM OR TRANSMITTED IN 
ANY FORM BY ANY ELECTRONIC, MECHANICAL, PHOTOCOPYING OR RECORDING MEANS OR OTH- 
ERWISE WITHOUT PRIOR WRITTEN PERMISSION OF THE PUBLISHER. ANY SIMILARITY BETWEEN THE 
PEOPLE AND PLACES IN THE FICTION AND SEMI-FICTION IN THIS MAGAZINE AND ANY REAL PEOPLE 
AND PLACES IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL. FOR CREDITS SEE PAGE 116. THREE BRADFORD EXCHANGE 
ONSERTS, ONE DIRECTV ONSERT AND ONE RX RELIEF ONSERT IN DOMESTIC SUBSCRIPTION POLY- 
WRAPPED COPIES. CERTIFICADO DE LICITUD DE TITULO NO. 7570 DE FECHA 29 DE JULIO DE 1993, 
Y CERTIFICADO DE LICITUD DE CONTENIDO NO. 5108 DE FECHA 29 DE JULIO DE 1993 EXPEDIDOS 
POR LA COMISION CALIFICADORA DE PUBLICACIONES Y REVISTAS ILUSTRADAS DEPENDIENTE DE 
LA SECRETARÍA DE GOBERNACIÓN, MÉXICO. RESERVA DE DERECHOS 04-2000-071710332800-102. 


PRINTED IN U.S.A. 


WeatherTech 


Automotive Accessories 


Acura - Audi - В 
Isuzu - deep. - Kia - Fand: Ro 


Made in the USA y © 2015 by MacNeil IP LLC 


PLAYBOY 


HUGH M. HEFNER 


editor-in-chief 


JIMMY JELLINEK 
editorial director 
STEPHEN RANDALL deputy editor 
MAC LEWIS creative director 
JASON BUHRMESTER, HUGH GARVEY executive editors 
REBECCA H. BLACK photo director 
JARED EVANS managing editor 


EDITORIAL 
SHANE MICHAEL SINGH associate editor; TYLER TRYKOWSKI assistant editor 
COPY: WINIFRED ORMOND copy chief; CAT AUER senior copy editor 
RESEARCH: NORA O'DONNELL research chief; SAMANTHA SAIYAVONGSA research editor 
STAFF: GILBERT MACIAS editorial coordinator 
CARTOONS: AMANDA WARREN associate cartoon editor 
CONTRIBUTING EDITORS: VINCE BEISER, MARK BOAL, Т.С. BOYLE, ROBERT В. DE SALVO, STUART DYBEK, MICHAEL FLEMING, NEAL GABLER, KARL TARO GREENFELD, 
KEN GROSS, DAVID HOCHMAN, ARTHUR KRETCHMER (automotive), GEORGE LOIS, SEAN MCCUSKER, CHUCK PALAHNIUK, ROCKY RAKOVIC, STEPHEN REBELLO, DAVID RENSIN, 


WILL SELF, DAVID SHEFF, ROB MAGNUSON SMITH, JOEL STEIN, ROB TANNENBAUM, CHRISTOPHER TENNANT, DON WINSLOW, HILARY WINSTON, SLAVOJ ZIZEK 


JAMES ROSEN special correspondent 


ART 


JUSTIN PAGE managing art director; ROBERT HARKNESS deputy art director; AARON LUCAS art coordinator; LAUREL LEWIS designer 


PHOTOGRAPHY 
STEPHANIE MORRIS playmate photo editor; EVAN SMITH photo researcher; GAVIN BOND, SASHA EISENMAN, JOSH REED, JOSH RYAN senior contributing photographers; 
DAVID BELLEMERE, MITCHELL FEINBERG, ELAYNE LODGE, MICHAEL MULLER, PAUL SIRISALEE, PEGGY SIROTA, PETER YANG contributing photographers; 
KEVIN MURPHY director, photo library; CHRISTIE HARTMANN senior archivist, photo library; KARLA GOTCHER photo coordinator; 


DANIEL FERGUSON manager, prepress and imaging; AMY KASTNER-DROWN senior digital imaging specialist; OSCAR RODRIGUEZ Senior prepress imaging specialist 


PRODUCTION 


LESLEY K. JOHNSON production director; HELEN YEOMAN production services manager 


PUBLIC RELATIONS 


THERESA M. HENNESSEY vice president; TERI THOMERSON director 


PLAYBOY ENTERPRISES INTERNATIONAL, INC. 


SCOTT FLANDERS chief executive officer 


PLAYBOY PRINT OPERATIONS 
DAVID G. ISRAEL chief operating officer, president, playboy media; 


TOM FLORES senior vice president, business manager, playboy media 


ADVERTISING AND MARKETING 
MATT MASTRANGELO senior vice president, chief revenue officer and publisher; MARIE FIRNENO vice president, advertising director; 
DAN DRESCHER vice president, integrated sales; RUSSELL SCHNEIDER east coast digital director; AMANDA CIVITELLO vice president, events and promotions 
NEW YORK: MALICK CISSE director of advertising operations and programmatic sales; JENNA COHAN fashion and luxury director; 
MICHELLE TAFARELLA MELVILLE entertainment director; ADAM WEBB spirits director; MICHAEL GEDONIUS account director; 
MAGGIE MCGEE direct-response advertising coordinator; JASMINE YU marketing director; TIMOTHY KELLEPOUREY integrated marketing director; 
KARI JASPERSOHN senior marketing manager; AMANDA CHOMICZ digital marketing manager; ADRIANA GARCIA art director; ANGELA LEE digital sales planner 
CHICAGO: TIFFANY SPARKS ABBOTT midwest director 


LOS ANGELES: JONATHAN HOMAN, DINA LITT west coast account directors 


MORY 


= ROOMIER FIT 


~ 


FOAM” 


PLAYBOY / OCTOBER 2015 


WORL 


PLAYMATE SIGHTINGS / 


D of 


FROLICS / 


MANSION NIGHTLIFE NOTES 


Playboy 


PAST 
and 


PRESENT 


| 


f 


PLAYBOY TAKES ON COMIC-CON 


eb Any celebration of the best of pop 
culture wouldn't be complete without the 
Rabbit Head, so we packed our bags (and 
Bunnies) and headed to Comic-Con in 
San Diego to throw the hottest red-carpet 
fete in town. In conjunction with the 
release of the sci-fi thriller Sel//less from 
Gramercy Pictures, Playboy transformed 


"arq Nightclub into a science-lab-themed 
discotheque. The folks at Sailor Jerry 
were kind enough to give our Playmates 
a ride to Parq in a glossy 1962 Chevy 
Impala before serving delicious spiced 
rum to such VIPs as Oscar Isaac (Star 
Wars: The Force Awakens) and Meagan 
Good (Fox’s Minority Report). 


* Thirty-eight 
years ago this 
month, a young 
TV exec named 
Lorne Michaels 
invited Hef to 
host an episode 
of Saturday 
Night Live, 

then in its third 
season. Hef’s 
show is laced 
with Playboy 
DNA—a perfect 
example of the 
radical com- 
edy that would 
come to define 
SNL, Laraine 


Newman opens 
the program 
dressed as the 
Femlin, Gilda 
Radner and 
Jane Curtin 
mock misogy- 
nists, and John 
Belushi plays 
Socrates ina 
skit parodying 
the Playboy 
Philosophy. You 
can catch the 
full episode on 
Hulu, just ahead 
of SNL’s histor- 
ic 4lst-season 
premiere. 


GOOD RETURNS 


* A poster woman 
for beauty meets 
brains, PMOY 
2014 Kennedy 
Summers stopped 
by Fox Business 
Network to chat 
about her success 
as a day trader. 


BAR MADE 
* The Tipsy Bar- 
tender gave PMOY 
2015 Dani Mathers 
a lesson in shaking 
things up at Bar 
Fifty Three. Watch 
her muddle, sling 
and swig on Tipsy’s 
YouTube channel. 


^ PLAYMATE 
NS. NEWS 


PLAYBOY 


2015 MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM PARTY м 


Aerialists dressed as butterflies swung from the Mansion always proves to be the stuff dreams are L-COM | 


the rafters, snake charmers danced on platforms, made of, and this year didn’t disappoint. In addition 

Painted Ladies displayed their erotic body art and to flocks of nymph-like ladies dressed in lace, the © 

Playmates (including Miss March 2013 Ashley Doris, hedonistic celebration attracted some of Hollywood's SLEEPY 

Miss September 2014 Stephanie Branton and Miss hottest movers and shakers, including Justin Bieber, BEAUTY 

August 2015 Dominique Jane) stepped out in barely Amber Rose, Adam DeVine, Chloe Bridges and DJ Nicole Beharie 

there silk and satin. Hef’s annual pajama soiree at Brody Jenner, who kept the dance floor blazing. plays a kick-ass 
cop on Sleepy 

Hollow, but 


we're guilty of 
enjoying her 
softer side. See 
the evidence 
for yourself in 
her Becoming 
Attraction video. 


BREAK A 
SWEAT 
Enjoy more of 
Miss October's 
perfect form 
with outtakes 
from her 
pictorial. 


© 
JEFF GARLIN 
Never seen 
The Goldbergs? 
Playboy.com's 
Lucky 7 Q&A 
offers a primer 
on the funnyman 
who plays the 
show's patriarch. 


PRETTY IN PINK 
* The always color- Miss De- trophy, to PBS's 
ful PMOY 1994 cember 1979 Antiques Road- 
Jenny McCarthy Candace Jordan show. Tune in on 
turned more heads took her most October 19 for 
than usual when she prized Playboy the appraisal, 
debuted fuchsia locks paraphernalia, which left Can- 
to support Remem- including her dace speechless. 
ber Betty, a breast Bunny suit and “Let me just say 
cancer charity. Bunny of the this: Thank you, 
í Year pageant Hef!” she hints. 


12 


dear PLAYBOY 


OF ATHLETES AND ASTERISKS 


The relevant question is not wheth- 
er performance-enhancing drugs are 
fair or safe (“Dope Story,” Forum, July/ 
August) but whether we wish to al- 
low athletes to use pharmaceuticals to 
enhance their performance. If PEDs 


were legalized, everyone (regardless of 


sex or age) who wished to be competi- 
tive would by necessity be forced to use 


PEDs. It is easy to imagine the sort of 


dystopian situation this would create. 
David Bussabarger 
St. Louis, Missouri 


Attitudes toward performance- 
enhancing drugs differ depending on 
what one is looking for from sports. 
For some, it’s about testing the limits 
of how far we can push the human 
body via various forms of enhance- 
ment, including steroids. For others, 
its about fairness and following the 
rules—which, according to the World 
Anti-Doping Agency, prohibit the use 
of certain substances and methods, 


ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF HISTORY 
One can always count on PLAYBOY 
to be at the forefront of social jus- 
tice issues (Ahead of Her Time, July/ 
August). It took guts for Hef to run 
the Caroline “Tula” Cossey pictorial 
in 1991—not to mention for Cossey to 
participate—and it makes me proud 
to be a reader. Thanks for the timely 
retrospective on her. 
Joyce MacGreevy 
Madison, Wisconsin 


BETTER OFF RED 
The universe led you to Miss August 
Dominique Jane, and you led her to us 
(Lady in Red, July/August). Kudos and 
thanks. I’m seeing red everywhere. Wow! 
William Turner 
Massillon, Ohio 


OILY POLITICIANS 

The BP Gulf Coast oil spill and 
its aftermath is a tragic tale of greed 
and its consequences (The Poisoned 
Gulf, July/August). Perhaps most de- 
pressing is how little compensation is 
making its way into the hands of the 
people who need it most. The oil gi- 
ant is paying tens of billions of dollars 
in damages, which it should, given the 
havoc it wreaked. Some of that money 
will go to special funds for much need- 


including many steroids. We must also 
consider fairness not just in terms of 
existing rules but in terms of access: 
If some players buy steroids and com- 
pete against those who do not, it’s per- 
ceived as unfair. One option is to cre- 
ate two different leagues—“natural” 
versus “enhanced.” This is already 
happening in bodybuilding. Lastly, 
there is the question of whether we 
owe anything to athletes of the past. In 
other words, how meaningful is it to 
break legendary sports records if cur- 
rent athletes have clear advantages? 
Elizabeth Yuko 
Bronx, New York 
Elizabeth Yuko, Ph.D., is a bioethicist 
whose research topics include the ethics of 
human enhancement. 


If I wanted to see enhanced super- 
humans, Pd watch the latest Avengers. 
Competitive sports should be drug-free. 

Ernie Lee 
Atlanta, Georgia 


ed environmental restoration. Unfor- 
tunately, Gulf Coast states are raid- 
ing their share to plug budget holes 
created by short-sighted tax policies 


rather than helping the citizens who 
have been permanently harmed by 
BP’s arrogance and carelessness. The 
irresponsibility of the oil company is 
matched only by the disregard politi- 
cians are now showing for their own 
constituents—a double insult that dis- 
respects our democratic system. 
Frank Nort 
Staunton, Virginia 


TIMING IS EVERYTHING 

I recently stood behind Lizzy Caplan 
in a Las Vegas airport security line. I 
pretty much blew it by asking if her 
show, Masters of Sex, had been renewed 
for a second season. (It’s in its third.) 


DOPE STORY 


Why do we punish athletes for seeking 
harmless performance advantages? 


performance enhancement 
that allows us to be stronger, 
smarter, faster and better t 
our fellow: һи” ams Amor 


She was very polite and patient with 

my ignorance. When I got home, the 

July/August PLAYBOY was in my mail. I 

wish I could have read her 20Q before 
running into her! 

Pedro Herrero 

Franklin, Tennessee 


David Rensin’s repeated questions 
about Lizzy Caplan’s professional nu- 
dity evoke the “creep factor.” By the 
time he asks about food shaped like sex 
organs his lurid approach conjures an 
image of a dirty old man. 

Ron Ryden 


Riverview, Florida 


TUNE IN TO RABBIT RADIO 
Nice try, guys, with the fake-Rabbit 
radio on the July/August cover. I found 
the real Rabbit Head in the shadow on 
the green towel. 
Ted Greenlee 
Morgantown, West Virginia 


In what universe does a rectangular 
radio with extended antennae resemble 
the iconic PLAYBOY symbol? Where's the 
Rabbit's bow tie? 

John Shicora 
San Antonio, Texas 

What can we say? The Rabbit must have 

gotten a little hot under his collar. 


A radio, no matter the position of 
its antennae, is not the Playboy Rabbit 
Head. Don’t mess with your logo. 

Richard Dargan 
Beaverton, Oregon 


What an amazingly sexy cover. The 
bevy of Playmates makes this one of my 
favorite issues ever. 


Andrew Bejarano 
Las Cruces, New Mexico 


When I saw *21-page Summer, Sex 
and Sun Special” on the cover, I ex- 
pected 21 pages of Playmate pictures 
by Tony Kelly. I would love to see more 
photos of the girls. 

Jean Carvalho 
Sao Paulo, Brazil 

For а behind-the-scenes glimpse of the 
Playmate-heavy photo shoot, check out the 
video on Playboy. com. 


LOVE LESSONS 
The sexual poverty of young men 
and women is a social problem her 
than a personal matter (No Sex, Please, 
We're Japanese, June). It’s true that 
young men and women in Japan are 
scared economically and under the in- 
fluence of anime and manga, so they 
have lost sexual confidence. But Japan 
is at the forefront of sexual social is- 
sues. In the future, other countries 
will face the same problems. Because 
of this, Japanese people have an obli- 
gation to address this sexual poverty 
in order to contribute to the world. To 
do so, we must enhance sex education 
in public education; this will require 
help from nonprofit organizations to 
support the young people in matters 
of sex and love. 
Shingo Sakatsume 
Niigata, Japan 
Sakatsume is the founder of White Hands, 
a nonprofit sex-therapy organization. 


GALLERY-WORTHY 

I have been a PLAYBOY subscriber for 
many years. I cannot stress enough 
the value added by artists Olivia De 
Berardinis and Dean Yeagle. Their work 

brings so much class to your magazine. 
Dan Gwizdak 
East Brunswick, New Jersey 


ALL HAIL QUEEN DANI 

I would like to give a huge shout- 
out to Michael Bernard for his master- 
ful photography (Playmate of the Year, 
June). Dani Mathers is an outstanding 
example of what PLAYBOY represents 
and is the perfect choice for PMOY 
2015. Her genuine personality will 
serve her well as a Playboy ambassador. 

And I love her new short hairdo! 
Mark Naeser 
Jamestown, New York 


IT'S NO MYTH 
Odin, Ted Cohen’s fiction in the June 
issue, is excellent. Keep the outstanding 

writing coming. 
John Dacey 


Alexandria, Virginia 


BURGER FLIP-OFF 
Joel Stein thinks grilling requires no 
effort (Men, "The BS of BBQ,” July/ 
August)? Please. I can't take any more 
of his self-castrating, beta-male drivel. 
J. Guy 


Evanston, Illinois 


BREAKFAST WITH KAYLIA 
Miss June Kaylia Cassandra is a 
gorgeous young woman (Retro Fil, 


June). In her Data Sheet she says one of 


her guilty pleasures is cereal, but un- 

fortunately she neglected to say what 
kind she prefer s. 

Wes Pierce 

Orlando, Florida 

We investigated for you. “Pm a Kellogg's 

girl—Froot Loops and Frosted Flakes,’ "she 

says. “But don't get me wrong; I'll eat al- 
most any cereal!" 


Kaylia Cassandra is beautiful—retro 
and sexy. Please, let's see more. 

Bob Refo 

Jacksonville, Florida 


Kaylia Cassandra: Snap, crackle, hot. 


E-mail LETTERS@PLAYBOY.COM or write 9346 CIVIC CENTER DRIVE, BEVERLY HILLS, CALIFORNIA 90210 


PLAYBOY'S 
SPECIAL 
COLLECTOR’S 
_ EDITIONS 


LECTORS El DITION | 


FOR A SPECIAL ONE-YEAR 
SUBSCRIPTION PRICE OF $49.97 
E-MAIL PLAYBOYSPECIALEDITIONS@ 
CUSTOMERSVC.COM 


FROM 2013 PLAYMATE OF THE YEA 
RAQUEL POMPLUN 


How to Have... 


ADVERTISEMENT 


NOT JUST АМҮ 


HALLOWEEN - 


This Halloween, 2013 Playmate of the Year Raquel Pomplun 


serves up her advice on how to throw not just any Halloween bash. 


1. TRICK OR TREAT 2.0 
Take trick-or- 
treating toa 
whole new level 
this year. Grab 
a group of friends and hit the 
streets for a Halloween bar 
crawl, filled with Hornitos® 
cocktails-the adult way to 
collect your candy. 


2. SEVEN DEADLY SINS 
Treat your guests 
to a night of sin. 
Decorate every 
room in your 
house to represent a different 
one of the seven deadly sins. 
Think beyond just décor by 
offering themed snacks and 


FOR MORE ADVICE AND EXCLUSIVE CONTENT VISIT 


PLAYBOY.COM/NOTJUSTANY 
HORNITOS 


El Hornitos Tequila | f GHornitosTequila | м @Hornitos 


DRINK RESPONSIBLY | Hornitos* Black Barrel* Tequila, 40% alc./vol. ©2015 Sauza Tequila Import Company, Deerfield, IL 


cocktails, such as a Green with 
Envy Margarita. 


3. SCARY MOVIE NIGHT 
Everyone loves a 
good binge-watch, 
so why not have one 
for a holiday? Host a 

horror movie marathon and let 

your friends munch on themed 
snacks for each film. Parts-from- 
the-Morgue Medley, anyone? 


4. HOLLYWOOD 
HORROR 


Invite your guests 
to dress as 
zombie versions 
of their favorite 
Hollywood stars. Treat the party 


NOT JUST ANY TEQUILA. 


like awards night and give 
out prizes for Killer Costume, 
Creepiest Couple, Ghoulish 
Glamour and more. Bonus 
points if you get creative with 
the trophies. 


5. MURDER MYSTERY 
DINNER 
If your guest list 
is on the small 
side, try throwing 
a dinner party for 
amateur sleuths. Stage mock 
crime scenes in each room, and 
have your guests put on their 
detective hats to figure out 
exactly what happened based 
on the clues and answer the 
question: whodunit? 


©2015 Playboy Enterprises International, Inc. PLAYBOY, PLAYBOY.COM, PLAYMATE and the Rabbit Head Design are marks of Playboy Enterprises Internatióha 


All trademarks are the property of their respective owners. 


FOLLOW THE BUNNY 


00000 


[playboy @playhoy @ playboy playboy + playboy 


BY STEVEN MASON FOR EXCLUSIVE ARTISTS MANAGEMENT USING ORIBE HAIR CARE; MAKEUP BY KIP ZACHARY FOR CLOUTIER REMIX 


á 
[4 
ü 
7 
О 
& 
& 
9 
> 

5 


BECOMING 
ATTRACTION 


A WOMAN IN 
uniform attracts seri- 
ous attention, so it 
makes sense that 
we're captivated by 
Nicole Beharie. On 
Fox's spooky thriller 
Sleepy Hollow, the 
petite Juilliard-trained 
actress plays an iron- 
willed cop who chases 
demons through dark 
forests and looks 
damn good doing 
it. “Pm interested in 
showing every side of 
being a woman,” says 
Nicole, who also stars 
in the 2013 Jackie 
Robinson biopic 42. 
“Whether my charac- 
ter is a vixen or strong 
and sultry, it’s my goal 
to shake things up.” 
Lucky for us, infatua- 
tion isn’t a crime. 


Photography by 
JOSH REED 


TALK | WHAT MATTERS NOW 


USE 
YOUR 
ILLUSION 


FORGET THE LIGHT SHOW. THE 
FUTURE OF ENTERTAINMENT 
IS IN HOLOGRAMS 


till go to comedy clubs? Of 
course you don’t. 

But no worries; opening 
next August in James- 
town, New York is the 
National Comedy Center, 
which promises to be a humor hall of 
fame starring well-known stand-ups 
you can't see live anymore. Instead 
of video installments, wax statues or 
robot clones, the performers will be 
holograms: life-size, 3-D holograms 
that even up close look like real people. 
The center is working with Beverly 
Hills-based HologramUSA to render 
the new space a club where you can 
watch funny people (most ofthem long 
dead) perform at their peak with rou- 
tines that kill (virtually). 

“It's a centuries-old trick called pep- 
per's ghost,” explains David Nussbaum, 
vice president of sales at Hologram- 
USA. “It was used by actors to project 
themselves from under the stage to 
above the stage. It's an old smoke-and- 
mirrors theater trick.” j 

There are no mirrors in the modern 
version. Instead, a projector positioned 
over the stage beams the video onto 
areflective, high-definition “bounce 
screen.” The image is then cast back up 
across a piece of translucent material 
stretched at a 45-degree angle, resulting 
in the final lifelike likeness. 

HologramUSA has already arranged 
an all-star lineup of Andy Kaufman 
(sure to reignite rumors that his death 


was faked), Redd Foxx and Sammy “We're installing these as permanent Nussbaum even sees uses beyond enter- 
Davis Jr. Another big name batted installations in famous venues across tainment. “It’s the safest way to cam- 
around but unconfirmed is Rodney the country,” says Nussbaum. “Instead paign if you're a politician,” he says. 
Dangerfield. Recently, inside the com- of Tupac at Coachella for one song, we're Sure, you won't experience the anxiety 
pany's studio in California, a hologram going to do an entire concert, over and and spontaneity of alive performance— 
of Jimmy Kimmel (you may have seen over again, sellingtickets, capitalizing or the comics’ sweat, stench and spit. But 
it featured on his late-night show) on love and nostalgia.” you could get to watch a shvitzing, stam- 
appeared onstage, followed by Ray If the idea takes off, you may never mering Dangerfield who doesn’t exist 
Charles banging away on a piano. The again have to leave town to take in a live whine about how he still gets no respect. 
reanimated talents seemed almost performance. A company will broadcast The material may crack you up, but it 
alive, ifatad airy, their performances perfected hologram acts—with no heck- will also remind you that you're lucky to 


simultaneously creepy and amazing. lers or mistakes—to venues everywhere. be real—and alive.—Adam Baer 


ILLUSTRATION BY OLIVER BURSTON 


VERTICAL LIMITS 


arlier this year, Twitter 
snatched up streaming- 
video app Periscope for 
an estimated $50 mil- 
lion. The buy was Twit- 
ter’s defensive strategy against 
Meerkat, another streaming-video 
app, as well as the behemoth Snap- 
chat, now valued at $16 billion. 
While the growing pool of video- 
oriented apps seems to be just 
another case of tech giants duking 
it out over venture capital and digi- 
tal real estate, it’s actually causing 
headaches for veteran video mak- 
ers, from movie moguls in Holly- 
wood to ad men in New York. Why? 
Because Meerkat, Periscope, Snap- 
chat and others are subverting the 
oldest rule of filmmaking: They’re 
forcing users to shoot vertically. 

“As a filmmaker, shooting verti- 
cal actually hurts me,” says Joanna 
Hausmann, a digital-video writer- 
producer in New York. “But when 
І do a video for Snapchat, I shoot 
vertically because I know that’s how 
people will accept it.” 

The vast majority of videos for 
apps are filmed and watched verti- 
cally simply because that’s how 
people hold their phones. But when 
viewed on any other platform— 
whether a tablet, an iMac or your 
60-inch HD TV—vertical videos 
are bookended by distracting black 
bars. Moreover, these vids tend to 
have low resolution, last only a few 
seconds and have little to no pro- 
duction value. 

Such cringeworthy attributes 
have long been common in ama- 
teur film efforts, but thanks to the 
popularity of these apps, they're 
quickly becoming the norm for 
videos by experts too. According 
to Hausmann, who creates con- 


tent for Univision and Bedrocket 
Media, the shorter, grainier and 
more amateur-looking, the better, 
especially when it comes to ads. 

“The moment millennials recog- 
nize an ad as an ad, they switch off,” 
she says. “Commercials now need 
to look like something their friend 
shot.” And the fact that highly 
sought-after millennials are the 
bread and butter of global brands 
such as Samsung, Disney and 
Burger King means that awkward 
vertical videos will only become 
more commonplace. Even YouTube 
tweaked its Android app to elimi- 
nate the black bars; vertical videos 
now get automatically resized to fill 
your screen when played. 

“We hear a lot of the industry say- 
ing a platform like Snapchat is just 
a fad, but you have to have vision,” 
says Carlos Roncajolo, who teaches 
digital and social media at Miami 
Ad School and heads digital content 
for marketing firm Cheil Worldwide. 
“We ask ourselves all the time, ‘How 
can a company like Samsung use 
Snapchat?’ Whoever answers that 
question wins the game.” 

Could iPhones and the pursuit of 
greenbacks be the ultimate undoing 
of the oldest law of cinematography? 
Some point to basic human physiol- 
ogy for the answer. 

“The world is aligned horizon- 
tally. Our eyes will never be stacked 
on top of each other,” says Adam 
Lisagor, owner of Los Angeles- 
based Sandwich Video, which 
produces TV commercials. “I have 
a strong respect for the language 
of cinema that exists already. I 
can safely say that mobile-phone 
screens are going to go away sooner 
than human vision is going to reori- 
ent itself.”— Jean-Paul Renaud 


PLUTO'S POCKETBOOK 


The New Horizons 
spacecraft traveled 
3 billion miles on 

a groundbreaking 
mission to Pluto. 
The price tag: a 
very budget-friendly 
$700 million. Don’t 
agree? Here’s our 
cost comparison. 


1 Pluto mission 

($700 million) 
worldwide gross of The 
Twilight Saga: Breaking 
Dawn Part 1 


3 Pluto missions 
($2 billion) 


cost of the 2012 U.S. 
presidential election 
17 Pluto missions 
($11.8 billion) 
amount Americans 
spent on bottled 
water in one year 
77 Pluto missions 
($54 billion) 


cost of the BP oil-spill 
aftermath 


195 Pluto missions 
($136.5 billion) 

cost of the Apollo pro- 
gram in today’s dollars 


($2 trillion) 


cost of the Iraq war 


19 


E: 


H. JON 
BENJAMIN 


* Sometime ago, the people of America 
unanimously christened Morgan Free- 
man as the voice of God. But let's pre- 
tend God has a sense of humor. If that’s 
the case, the good Lord is more likely 

to sound like H. Jon Benjamin, whose 
natural bass and bravado carry two of 
today's best animated sitcoms. As both 
the bumbling patty-flipper Bob Belcher 
on Fox's Bob's Burgers and superspy 
playboy Sterling Archer on FX's Archer, 
Benjamin waxes and wanes from irra- 
tional and elated to irritated and antag- 
onistic without breaking a sweat. And 
the guy would be just fine if his shows 
lasted longer than The Simpsons. “Tm 
not sure what the goal is before I take off 
from this Earth, but I’m not very self- 
motivated,” he says. “This is ajob I can 
easily do sitting.”—Shane Michael Singh 


well-balanced 
Bob is about los- 
ing all the time. He 
is not a dark char- 
$55 acter. Despite his 
X. X hard times, he's a 
X» real optimist. You 
* c. don't see much 
optimism on TV 
-these days. 


PLAYBOY: Both 
~ your shows have 
been nominated 
for Emmys and 
have huge fan 
bases. Can you 
order a pizza 


аа without being 


sixth season 


$ ? 
of Bob’s Burg- recognized; 
ers premieres BENJAMIN: | 
this month. can order pizza 


As the show's pretty peacefully. 
title sequence A Delta Air Lines 
reminds us, Bob is rep once recog- 


TALK | WHAT MATTERS NOW 


constantly down 
on his luck. Has 
playing such a 
tragic character 
turned you into a 
pessimist? 


BENJAMIN: It's 
funny, because | 
view him differ- 
ently. I’m always 
surprised by how 


nized meand was 
psyched about it, 
but that's truly the 
end of that story. 
Voice actors don't 
make people 
swoon. It's more a 
mild “That's cool.” 


PLAYBOY: Last 
year you did a hi- 
larious voice-over 


Photography by JASON NOCITO 


of 2007: A Space 
Odyssey's HAL 
9000 that went 
viral, Is there any 
prose you can't 
make funny? 


BENJAMIN: 
Maybe Mein 
Kampf? It would 
bum out a few 
people, but | think 
some would find it 
funny. I’m Jewish, 
so | can do that. 


PLAYBOY: /s 

your ideal woman 
more like Archer's 
baby mama Lana, 
voiced by Aisha 
Tyler, or Bob's 
wife, Linda, voiced 
by a man? 


BENJAMIN: Oh 
my God, Lana. 

In real life | hate 
Linda. She's a 

big mess. Lana 
has baggage 

but is smart and 
accomplished, 
though she would 
never be with me. 
| couldn't keep up. 
I'm way too short. 


XX 


XXE 


ER 


д 
МАХ 


=) 
ee 


V 


DANIEL NYARI 


AWN OF THE 
WAL U.S. HOCKEY 


othing spurs a sport’s growth like 
a defining moment. The “Miracle 
on Ice” in 1980 created a surge 
in hockey interest south of the 
Canadian border. Likewise, Wayne 
Gretzky’s shocking trade from the 
Edmonton Oilers to the Los Angeles Kings in 
1988 turned the hockey hinterlands of southern 
California into an unexpected hotbed. And when 
Team USAS Kelli Stack missed an empty net by 
inches at the 2014 Winter Games, it sparked the 
birth of the National Women’s Hockey League. 
Stack’s agonizing near miss and the ensuing 
Canadian gold-medal victory was the hockey story 
out of Sochi, despite a men’s final that boasted 
two teams whose rosters read like an NHL all- 
star program. It was the moment everyone talked 
about, and it put a long overdue spotlight on the 
skill, passion and excitement of the women’s game. 
Now, a little over a year later, the first professional 
women’s hockey league makes its debut with an 
“original four”: the Boston Pride, the New York 
Riveters, the Buffalo Beauts and the Connecticut 
Whale, all determined to establish a thriving, 
high-profile future for the NWHL, just as the 
WNBA has done for women’s basketball. 
“Coming off the 2014 Olympics, where the 
women’s gold-medal game was the highest- 
watched event on NBC with 4.9 million viewers, 
it seemed like a missed opportunity for the sport 
if there wasn't a league paying these women 
for being the best at what they do,” says Dani 
Rylan, NWHL co-founder and commissioner. 
The NWHL games kick off October 17 and run 
through March, when the teams will contend 


for the Isobel Cup—named after Lord Stanley’s 
daughter, one of the first female hockey players, 
whose passion for the game, according to Rylan, 
fueled her father to create the Stanley Cup. 

The Northeast focus is part of the league’s 
growth plan: Keeping NWHL teams in bus-ride 
distance will cut down on costs as the league 
builds a fan base and recognition. (New England 
and New York account for 33 percent of female reg- 
istrants for the USA hockey program, Rylan says.) 

“They seem extremely organized, focused and 
goal-oriented—important for a start-up organi- 
zation,” says hockey writer Jen Neale. "They've 
already learned one lesson from the NHL—start 
small.” Asked about expansion, Rylan says the 
league intends to “build for the long haul” but is 
focused first on making year one a success. 

Two things will be needed to ensure the NWHL 
can continue to pay women to play (unlike the 
Canadian women’s league): a marketable superstar 
and a boost from the NHL. No crossover has yet 
been set for the two leagues. “The NHL has a per- 
fect opportunity with the Winter Classic this year 
to incorporate the Boston Pride and the New York 
Riveters for a matinee game,” says Neale. “But to 
get the league off the ground, they need a super- 
star, just like the NHL.” 

The odds are stacked against the women’s 
league; even the NHL struggles in a sports land- 
scape dominated by football, baseball and basket- 
ball. But Rylan trusts that the market and the fans 
are there. “If we just shine the spotlight on what's 
already here, it will be a huge success,” she says. “If 
you like to have fun and experience damn good 
hockey, you're going to love the NWHL.”—Eric Alt 


Cl 


NDY 


ON CINDY: 
BECOMING 


AN 


ICON ON HER 


EXTRAORDINARY 
CAREER IN FRONT 


OF 


THE LENS 


> Supermodel Cindy 


Cra 
inF 


wford turns 50 
ebruary; out this 


month with plenty 


oft 


ime to celebrate 


that milestone is 
Becoming (Rizzoli, 
$50), her lush 
photo-book-slash- 
memoir. Funny and 
thoughtful—you don't 


ach 


ieve success like 


hers without brains to 
match the beauty— 


the 
ima 
stor 
incl 
her 


40- 


ner 
DIC 
wn 


“Af 
can 
ha 
tun 


book pairs sexy 
ges with the 

ries behind them, 
uding one from 
scariest shoot: 


posing nude witha 


pound python. 


(Our opinion: Worth 
it.) Crawford devotes 
several pages to 


steamy PLAYBOY 
orials, the first of 
ch she credits as 


a career springboard. 


er PLAYBOY, MTV 
ne calling, and 
led to oppor- 
ities beyond the 


ashion world,” she 
wri 
say 
we 


es. What can we 
? Reader, you're 
come.—Cat Auer 


condiment con 

eae dart ajotin Here are 
a few ways you can cook with this е 
old American staple. They’ 
tasty and you already hav 


stuffin ae 


DRESSING 
* Skip the eggs 
and ences 


a with two table- SPINACH - 


Mix mayonnaise, 
mustard, f 
lemon juice an 


+, Roast the fish at 
- 450 degrees Fahr- 
: . enheit for 15 min- 
utes. Slice cross- 
wise and serve. 


` FOOD STYLING BY SARA JANE CRA\ 


aphy by MICHELL FEINBERG d 


MOODSOFNORWAY.COM 


moods of norway 7964 MELROSE AVE LOS ANGELES, CA 90046 


FENCE POST 


* 4 oz. hard cider 

* 1⁄2 oz. Jameson 
Black Barrel 
Irish whiskey 

* % oz. dark 
amber maple 
syrup 

* 2 dashes An- 
gostura bitters 

* 1 slice red 
apple 

Build liquid 

ingredients in 

a collins glass, 

then fill with ice. 

Garnish with 

apple slice and 

serve with a 

straw. 


This simple riff 
on the classic 
stone fence 
cocktail is so 
named because 
the black- 

barrel bottling 
of Jameson is 
aged in alligator- 
charred (that is, 
burned) former 
bourbon bar- 
rels, giving this 
drink a woody 
(fence-post-like) 
character. 


Photography by PAUL SIRISALEE 


délicious, thes 5 
memories of the dreaded appletini. 


FRENCH ’96 


* 34 oz. Aviation 
gin 

* % oz. 
Becherovka 
bitters 

* l^ oz. lime juice 

* 1% oz. Duché 
de Longueville 
Cidre Bouché 
de Cru 

* Grated 
cinnamon 

Shake gin, bit- 

ters and lime 

juice with ice 

and strain into 

a chilled coupe 

glass. Top 

with cider and 

garnish with 

cinnamon. 


This twist on the 
classic French 
75 cocktail (gin, 
lemon, sugar, 
champagne) 

is named after 
the year (1996) 
in which Pays 
d'Auge cider 
received Appel- 
lation d'origine 
contrólée 
certification. 


CIDER APPLE 


* 20z. Banks 7 
Golden Age rum 

* Vo oz. Pok Pok 
Som apple 
drinking vinegar 

* 2 dashes Dale 
DeGroff's 
pimento bitters 


Stir ingredients 
with ice and 
strain into a 
chilled rocks 
glass over one 
large ice cube. 


London bar- 
tender Dick 
Bradsell's 
famous treacle 
cocktail—a rum 
old fashioned 
with a splash of 
cloudy apple 
juice—is the 
inspiration 
behind this 
variation, which 
relies on a sour 
Sweetener, just 
like the bitter- 
sweet apple it's 
named after. 


DRINK STYLING BY JAMIE KIMM 


Weather Tech’ 


Automotive Accessories 


es 


Laser Measured 


FloorLiner” 


Acura - Audi - BMW - Buick - Cadillac - Chevrolet - Chrysler - Dodge - Ferrari - Ford - GMC - Honda - Hummer - Hyundai - Infiniti 


Accessories Available for Isuzu - Jeep - Kia - Land Rover - Lexus - Lincoln - Maserati - Mazda - Mercedes-Benz - Mercury - Mini - Mitsubishi - Nissan 
Oldsmobile - Plymouth - Pontiac - Porsche - Saab - Saturn - Scion - Subaru - Suzuki - Toyota - Volkswagen · Volvo - and more! 


American Customers ie Canadian Customers European Customers 


Order Now: 800-441-6287 WeatherTech.com WeatherTech.ca WeatherTechEurope.com 


© 2015 by MacNeil IP LLC 


PROPER 
BROWN 

* Jimmy Choo 
'Chelsea boot 
in gleaming 
brown calfskin. 


$950, jimmy 
choo.com 


Chelsea boot 
in rich espresso 
suede by 

Grenson, ^ 


440, . 
mrporter.com 


+ Essential bl 
Chelsea boo 


Photography by PAUL SIRISALEE 


Y TRAVEL 


ua 


BEACH BUM 
BARBADOS 


espite being the most British island in 

the Caribbean (witness its adherence 

to three-day cricket tournaments, tea- 

time and fancy-pants dining attire), 

Barbados is surprisingly, tropically, 
thankfully nonchalant in terms of its personali- 
ties and pastimes. Locals are especially chill and 
generous when it comes to navigating the less 
populated, more rustic side of the island—where 
the surf breaks and the fish (7) are big and bold 
and there’s no shortage of reasons to stay in the 
water. So get on the reggae bus already. 


* Barbados is an 


і amazing place 


to surf, possibly 
one of the best 
for the full spec- 
trum of folks— 
from novices to 
pros—on boards 
these days. 
Every Novem- 
ber, world-class 


; athletes gather 


for the Indepen- 
dence Pro Surf- 
ing Soup Bowl, 


і a competition 


at Bathsheba 
Beach (2 
where a gnarly 
break can easily 
cause a coral 
pileup. To watch, 
gather under 
palm trees on 
the grass lawn 
leading to the 
sharp shoreline. 
Between 
spectator ses- 
sions, grab a 
board of your 
own and tune 
in to find the 
best surf spots 
each day. Rent a 
car (remember 
U.K. custom 


d and drive on the 


left), or call Em- 
manuel Tours (1- 
246-824-4254; 


i ask for Willie) to 


set up a driver 
to ferry you 
between Silver 
Sands, Duppies, 
Bathsheba or 
wherever else 
you scout a 
good swell. 

No matter if 


it's breakfast 
or lunch, it's 
always time for 
a cutter at Cuz's 
Fish Shack 
an unassuming 
beach-parking- 
lot kiosk where 
expertly layered 
sandwiches of 
flying fish, egg 
and cheese are 
served on a salt- 
bread roll. Don't 
ask; just eat. 
There's a reason 
it's always busy. 
If the ocean's 
flat, try your 
hand at kite 
surfing or 
windsurfing at 
deAction Beach 
Shop in Silver 
Sands, a colorful 
slice of beach 
where you'll 
find Barbadian 
surf pro Brian 
Talma's studio 
and beach hut. 
These days he's 
into stand-up 
paddle-boarding 
on steroids and 
leads two-mile 
paddling safaris 
along the coast. 
Skip the 
well-known but 
too touristy Har- 
rison's Cave and 
head instead to 
Animal Flower 
Cave, an acces- 
sible swimming 
hole full of sea 
anemones locat- 
ed near the base 
of a rugged set 
of cliffs on the 


island's northerly 
point. Descend 
the 27 steps and 
paddle around 
in the tidal pools 
while watching 
the waves crash 
in the ocean 
below. After 
your dip in the 
dark, scramble 
up and into the 
light, toward the 
family-run cliff- 
side restaurant 
and bar. Enjoy 
great drinks, 
shrimp rotis, 
sauteed conchs 
and whale 
sightings in the 
Atlantic. 

Beat by the 
sun and salt 
yet? The Lone 
Star (4) isa 
cool little hotel 


that eschews 
the typical 
beach-hut look 
for a nautical- 
industrial vibe. 
Six suites, 
including a 
beach house, 
and a restaurant 
on the sand are 
fashioned from 
a former auto 
garage from the 
1950s, hence 
suite names such 
as Shelby and 
Studebaker. But 
you don't need a 
set of wheels to 
make it down to 
the shore—and 
back up again— 
for a few qual- 
ity rum drinks 
before crashing 
into bed. 
—Jeralyn Gerba 


VISIT PLAYBOYSTORE.COM TODAY! 


30 


MOTORS 


DRIVEN: ALFA 
ROMEO 
4C SPIDER 


100 YEARS OF ITALIAN RACING HERITAGE 


IN A DYNAMIC, DELIRIOUSLY FUN PACKAGE 


* The 2015 Alfa Romeo 4C wants to prove a point. 
And the more you stare at the compact, mid- 
engine Italian sports car, its massive side air 
intakes giving it amuscular stance, the more the 
temptation to take it up on the offer grows. Draw- 
ing on more than 100 years of Italian heritage, the 
new handcrafted Alfa Romeo is a study in how 

to load the appeal of a supercar into a smaller, 
tighter vehicle. Who could resist? 

Our first drive behind the wheel of а 4С wasin 
acoupe at Chrysler’s Chelsea Proving Grounds 
in Michigan, where we were schooled on the 
car’s agility. But it wasn’t until we were handed 
the keys to a4C Spider in southern California 
that we got a feel for its full capabilities, rip- 

ping through winding 
STATS canyon roads in the 
ALFA ROMEO convertible. 


4C SPIDER The raw perfor- 
mance of Alfa Romeo’s 


racing legacy has 

been kept intact 

while augmented by 
high-tech features 
including an advanced 
turbocharged engine, 
acarbon-fiber chas- 
sis and a twin-clutch 


Engine: Turbocharged 
in-line four-cylinder 


Horsepower: 237 


Torque: 258 lb.-ft. 
Zero to 60: 4.1 sec. 
MPG: 24 city/34 hwy. 
Price: $63,900 base 


transmission. The 4C (rated at 237 horsepower) 
can be temperamental on short city commutes. 
It’s also loud and aggressive for its size, which 
makes it a tough buy for an everyday driver. Even 
the steering requires more muscle at lower speeds 
due to its manual system. But everything comes 
together with amazing precision when the 4C is 
pushed. Switch to the manual paddle-shifters 
and select race mode—one of the car’s four touch- 
mode driving dynamics—and the 4C makes a 
powerful argument. 

Much of the 4C’s performance styling has been 
carried over to the cockpit, a bare-bones affair 
with few luxuries aside from the standard accent 
stitching. Our Spider was equipped with the 
lineup’s new Alpine audio system with Bluetooth 
capabilities, which makes it a little more driver- 
friendly than a race car. 

With a price tag of nearly $75,000 fully loaded, 
the 4C Spider is about as practical as a three-piece 
wool suit at a summer pool party. Still, it's so much 
fun to drive—and that's the point.—Marcus Amick 


POWER 
DRIVER 


UNLOCKING THE 


ENERGY OF 
YOUR TIRES 


> Your next hybrid 
car could be pow- 
ered by pavement 
That's the idea 
behind new tech- 
nology that Univer- 
sity of Wisconsin- 
Madison engineers 
have developec 
with a team from 
China. Pushing the 
envelope even fur- 
ther when it comes 
to fuel-efficient 
vehicles, the group 
has devised a 
"nanogenerator" 
system that har- 
vests energy from 
a car's rolling-tire 
friction (known as 
he "triboelectric 
effect"), which can 
be used to power 
various compo- 
nents. The system 
relies on an elec- 
rode integrated 
into the tire that 
produces an elec- 
trical charge when 
he surface of the 
ire comes into 
contact with the 
ground. To test the 
process, research- 
ers used a remote- 
controlled toy Jeep 
equipped with 
LEDs; an electrode 
attached to the 
wheels caused the 
ights to flash on 
and off as the Jeep 
rolled across the 
ground. Based on 
their findings, en- 
gineers discovered 
that the amount of 
energy harnessed 
is directly related 
to the weight and 
speed of the ve- 
hicle. They believe 
he system could 
cut a car's average 
gas consumption 
by 10 percent 

If the research 
results are imple- 
mented, the key 

to hybrid cars of 
the future could be 
letting the rubber 
hit the road. 


E 


WIENS 


ILLUSTRATION BY CARL 


SHARING 
IS CARING 


IN THE WILD WEST OF THE SHARING 
ECONOMY, WHO IS THE SHERIFF? 


P APARTMENT TRASHED. 
CAR TOTALED. POP-UP 
BROTHEL BUSTED. Based 
solely on the head- 
lines, peer-to-peer 
rental services such 

as Airbnb (homes) 

and Getaround (cars) 
sound like nightmares. 
Go a level deeper and 
you'll find another glut 
of stories that question 
the legality ofturn- 

ing privately owned 
assets into commercial 
moneymakers. 

The so-called shar- 
ing economy is under 
amicroscope because 
itis disrupting tradi- 
tional markets left and 
right—and doing so, for 
the most part, without 
oversight. Airbnb, for 
instance, has provided 
hospitality services 
to more than 35 mil- 
lion guests but is not 
subject to the same 
rules as Marriott or 
Hilton. That means, 
among other things, 
that accommodations 
may not have proper 
fire exits or accessi- 
bility for people with 
disabilities. 

As more sharing 
networks pop up, ques- 
tions of trust and safety 
loom. Think about 
it: Not only are prop- 
erty owners entrusting 
their valuable assets— 
a bike or snowboard 
on Spinlister, a power 
tool on Peerby, a car on 
RelayRides—to strang- 
ers, but renters are also 
taking owners at their 
word that the item 
being borrowed is as 
advertised. 

So whose job is it to 
keep companies hon- 
est and users safe? 
The short answer: 


the market. “The U.S. 
believes in free mar- 
kets,” explains Arun 
Sundararajan, a pro- 
fessor at New York 
University's Stern 
School of Business who 
studies the intersec- 
tion of technology and 
society. “We believe in 
letting markets take 
care of themselves 
unless they establish 
that they're unable to.” 
And so far, he says, 
sharing marketplaces 
have proven quite 
adept at keeping them- 


YOU 
WOULDN’T 
DREAM OF 
MOPPING THE 
FLOORIN A 
HOTEL, BUT 
YOU MIGHT 
IN AN AIRBNB. 


selves in check. Airbnb, 
RelayRides and other 
services require users 
to pass a multistep 
verification process, 
including providing 
links to active social- 
media profiles, among 
other identifiers. Two- 
way public reviews on 
all platforms help weed 
out bad or misleading 


posts and sour person- 
alities. Spinlister even 
forbids owners from 
using stock photos of 
their bikes to safeguard 
the authenticity of each 
listing. And if all hell 
does break loose, ser- 
vices provide blanket 
insurance policies val- 
ued at up to $1 million. 
In these person-to- 
person transactions, 
insurance claims (or 
alack thereof) are the 
exceptions that prove 
the rule. For example, 
just three percent of 
Spinlister rentals tap 
into its repair-and- 
replacement policy, and 
only six bikes have gone 
missing in the compa- 
ny’s three-year history. 
As communities 


become more tightly 
knit, the risks dip even 
further. When Relay- 
Rides began to require 
face-to-face key hand- 
offs between car 
owners and renters, 
insurance claims took 
a nosedive. “When pro- 
fessional and personal 
lines blur, so does our 
sense of what is appro- 
priate behavior,” says 
Sundararajan. “People 
don’t treat rental cars 
as well as they treat 
personal cars. There 
might be a shift in the 
mind-set from just 
being a rental car to 
being someone else’s 
car, like a friend's car.” 
Case in point: You 
wouldn't dream of 
mopping the kitchen 


floor in a hotel room, 
but you might feel com- 
pelled to in an Airbnb. 
Still, though this 
social contract may 
safeguard against dirty 
dishes and flat tires, 
it won't stop you from 
tripping on an unsafe 
step or finding a fire 
extinguisher that's 
empty. Eventually the 
industry will need to 
create collaborative 
governing bodies—á 
la the American Bar 
Association—to tackle 
larger issues of safety 
and compliance. If 
you think about it, 
the businesses won't 
have a choice: Secur- 
ing customers is what 
will secure the bottom 
line.—Corinne Iozzio 


ONE FOR THE AFTERPARTY 


— Marshall has been causing ears to ring since the days of 
Plant and Page. The legendary amp builder’s first portable 
speaker, the Kilburn ($299, marshallheadphones.com), is 
designed for backstage dressing rooms and hotel afterparties. 
The vintage-style cabinet houses a four-inch woofer, a pair of 
tweeters and 20 hours of battery life. Connect via Bluetooth 
and kick out the jams until hotel security shows up. 


31 


32 


ENTERTAINMENT 


D 


MOVIE OF THE MONTE ] 
THE MARTIAN #7 


* Ridley Scott's new sci-fi thriller stars Matt 
Damon as a lone astronaut stranded on the 
red planet who must use all his ingenuity 

to survive. Kind of sounds like Gravity and 
Interstellar made a baby, right? Not accord- 
ing to screenwriter Drew Goddard. “I loved 
the spirit and tone of Andy Weir’s novel 
from the first sentence: ‘I’m pretty much 
fucked; " says Goddard about the book 
thatinspired the movie, which co-stars 
Jessica Chastain, Kristen Wiig, Kate 
Mara and Michael Peña. “The day I 
turned in the script, Gravity came 
out. The day we started shooting, 
Interstellar came out. I love those 
movies, but ours—a survival 
movie, a love letter to science and 
to NASA—is fun, even some- 
what silly. In my experience, 
Scientists are always much 
more interesting, complicated 
and funny, and that's how 
they are here. The Martian 
isathreadbare movie that 
feels like it's held together 
with duct tape. That's the 
Spirit of this film." 


THE LEFT- 
OVERS: THE 
COMPLETE 
FIRST SEASON 


B. DeSalvo 


BLU-RAY + DIGITAL HD 


obert I 


e If you were on board with Lost's 
twists and turns, you'll want 

to investigate this mysterious 
HBO series from Lost co-creator 


TEASE FRAME 


bed with paying customers 
in 2011's Sleeping Beauty 
(pictured). See her next as 
the wife of infamous criminal 
Reggie Kray in Legend. 


the leftover folks struggle with 
survivor's guilt. Seen through 

the eyes of Mapleton, New York 
police chief Kevin Garvey (Justin 


> Australian actress Emily Damon Lindelof. After 140 mil- 
Browning plays a student à 3. g n 
who does erotic freelance lion people vanish in something 
work that involves napping in akin to the biblical rapture, Theroux), the 10 eerie episodes 


show a fragile society descending 
quickly into chaos and fanati- 
cism. Best extra: a sneak peek at 
this fall's second season. YY YY 


«> 
TAKING ON 
JOBS 


: How does Steve 
Jobs, the Danny 
Boyle-directed 
movie of Aaron 
Sorkin's script, 
handle the Apple 
co-founder’s 
sometimes prickly 
relationships? 
A: Steve [played 
by Michael Fass- 
bender] and 
Sculley had a 
bromance but 
later parted ways 
over a business 
decision. It put 
up a wall of ani- 
mosity that was 
never dealt with 
before Steve died. 
What Aaron has 
done so beauti- 
fully is write a 
resolution for their 
relationship. 


: How did 
you and Boyle gel? 
A: He reminded 
me of Jonathan 
Demme in his 
enthusiasm for the 
material, which 
was like “Aren’t 
we lucky to be 
making a movie 
today?” It was 
contagious. 

: Did winning 
an Emmy for The 
Newsroom give 
you an edge 
over your co-stars 
who were new- 
comers to Sorkin's 
signature rapid- 
fire dialogue? 
A: At the read- 
through | watched 
and listened to 
Michael Fass- 
bender, Kate Win- 
slet and Michael 
Stuhlbarg handle 
the musicality and 
pace of the script. 
Fassbender kept 
shaking his head, 
saying, “1 don't 
know how you did 
it on The News- 
room.” It's hard to 
do well.—S.R. 


MUSIC 


TOO 


By Rob Tannenbaum 
* In the only slow, 
subdued song on Too, 
FIDLAR singer Zac 
Carper moans, “Yeah, 
ГП take another drink 
and throw up in the 


kitchen sink.” On the 
rest of their second 
album, these Los 
Angeles pop-punk 
maniacs sing about 
drugs and booze with 
the heedless energy 
of Saturday night and 
the hungover regret 
of Sunday morn- 

ing. Carper hews to 


Cali tradition with 

a devotion to nasal 
singing: He sounds 
like a 13-year-old 
performing “All the 
Small Things” at a bar 
mitzvah karaoke. And 
the band, whose name 
is an acronym for the 
skater motto “Fuck 

It Dog, Life’s a Risk,” 


ARA KENNT 


= y 


“fornia j 


keeps its music quick 
and catchy, like the 
Ramones, but more 
sharply honed and 
dynamic. Excitement 
and regret createa 
loop on Too, an album 
about fucking up and 
hating it so much, 
you do it again the 
next night. УУУ 


MUST-WATCH TV 


THE LAST 
KINGDOM 


By Josef Adalian 


* BBC America’s latest epic 
adventure travels to ninth 
century Britain, where plun- 
dering medieval Vikings 
threatened to strangle the 
idea of a united English king- 
dom before it could be born. 
This actual history is liberally 
blended with the fictional tale 


of Uhtred (Alexander Drey- 
mon), a would-be Saxon royal 
who ends up being raised by 
Danes yet seems destined 

to play a pivotal role in the 
creation of the nation we now 
know as England. There are 
no dragons or wizards here, 
but anyone who has enjoyed 
History channel’s Vikings 
will not be disappointed by 
this handsomely crafted (and 
tastefully violent) attempt to 
give historical equal time to at 
least some of the Norsemen’s 
many victims. ¥¥¥ 


GAMES 


METAL 
GEAR 
SOLID 5 


* Kiefer Sutherland is the nefari- 
ous Venom Snake, mastermind of 
а Бапа of violent mercenaries— 
but those looking for blazing 
guns should go elsewhere. Series 
creator Hideo Kojima wants this 
Soviet-Afghan world of intrigue 
to move slowly. As tension builds, 
you'll slog through long, movie- 
like scenes broken up by stealth 
missions. Surreal and brilliant, 
this epic is likely Kojima’s swan 
song to the series. All the more 
reason to relish it. УУУУ 


BOOKS 


WHERE 
THE 
BODIES 
WERE 
BURIED 


By Cat Auer 


e How did James 
“Whitey” Bulger 
conquer the Boston 
crime world? With 
the help of those who 
should have brought 
him down. Writer T.J. 
English has covered 
organized crime 
before (including Irish 
gangsters and Bulger 
in particular), but 

in his first-rate new 
book he pulls back 

to expose a shock- 
ing panorama of 
institutional corrup- 
tion stretching back 
generations. Using 


WHERE THE BODIES 
WERE BURIED 


BULGER AN 
THAT MADE H 


T. J. ENGLISH 


Bulger’s 2013 trial as 
the narrative struc- 
ture, English reveals 
a broken system that 
protects criminals to 
protect itself. In the 
early 1970s, the feds 
recruited Bulger as an 
informant, affording 
him advantages that 
allowed him to get 
away with murder- 
ing innocent people. 
English’s outrage at 
the injustices perpe- 
trated by the Depart- 
ment of Justice is 
palpable. It’s matched 
only by his disgust 
that few responsible 
will ever be held 
accountable—and 
that the system is 
still operating today. 
Bulger, at least, will 


die in prison. YYYY 


33 


PLAYBOY + HORNITOS PRESENT 


NOT JUST ANY VIP 


WHERE TO STAY 
L'Apogée Courchevel 


Located at the very top of the former Olympic 
ski jump in the French Alps, LApogée Courchevel 
attracts international skiers with its extensive 
slopes and true Alpine atmosphere. Off the slopes 
and away from the hustle, the hotel feels like a 
cocoon of rustic glamour and luxury surrounded 
by peaceful woodlands and sweeping views of the 
valley. | 


WHAT TO EAT 
Beep Beep (POT) 


VIP dining doesn’t 
need to be extravagant. 
Celebrated for his 
“food that isn’t fancy,” 
L.A. chef Roy Choi 
reinvents Korean food 
and Koreatown through 
the eyes of an American 
with Korean roots. Choi's 
latest restaurant POT 
puts a spin on a classic 
meal with the Beep Beep 
dish spiked with chili and 
sea urchins—a must-order 
for foodies in the area. 


HOW TO ARRIVE 
Jumpjets 


Looking for an extra 
fly way to travel? Thanks 
to Jumpjet, private jets 
are no longer exclusive 
to celebrities. Operating 
іп ТОО cities across 
the country, Jumpjet 
dominates the 
“affordable private 
travel” space with 
extremely reasonable 
annual and per-person 
fees. Sign up for an elite 
membership and receive 
a free trip for your first 
guest. 


WHAT TO 
WEAR 


IF & CO. 


* If your accessory 


game is on point, 
you're always 

looking for the 
next best bling. 

IF & Co. creates 
the highest of 
high-end pieces 
for true VIPs 
from the hip-hop 
community to 
young Hollywood. 
Securing a 

custom piece from 
celebrity jeweler 
Ben Baller himself 
suggests you've gol 
some serious swag. 
For the rest of us, 
the brand's online 
store features 
rings, earrings 
and pendants 

that ате available 
for purchase, 
including the dope 
9MM Bullet Piece 
(Partially Iced). 


A luxury food product г 
has been specially fattened; pronounced “fwá-grá.” 


/ fwä-grä / 


le from the liver of a duck or goose that 


CLOCKWISE FROM BOTTOM LEFT: COURTESY L'APOGÉE COURCHEVEL (2); IFANDCO.COM; COURTESY JUMPJET; AUDREY MA 


5С5СЮЭЭ542222222[22242244090СКККККЕ= 


| HORNITOS 
[| BLACK BARREL: 


ШЕ Spirits of | UN % l Spirits of 
the Americas E Epi 4 IE the Americas 


БИЙ 


VICTORY HAS NEVER 
TASTED SO SMOOTH. 


SAY HELLO TO 2014'S MOST HIGHLY AWARDED TEQUILA. 


Based on collective awards won in the 13 major spirits competitions 
Find out more information at www.homitostequila.com 


Drink Responsibly. Hornitos® Black Barrel) Tequila, 40% alc./vol. ©2015 Sauza Tequila Import Company, Deerfield, IL. All trademarks are property of their respective owners. 


HEART 
BREAKER 


METRIC 
TONS 


* Weight of 
padlocks 
removed this 
year from 
Paris's Pont 
des Arts, the 
bridge where 
lovebirds 
leave locks 
symbolizing 
their 
partnerships. 


GROSS- 
OUTS 
ARE 
TURN- 
OFFS 


* Scientists 
have found 
that women 
are turned 
off by disgust 
far more than 
by fear. 


GNIFICA, INSIGNIFICA, STATS AND FACTS 


School's 


. INSESSION 


* Real classes offered at 
universities this fall semester: 


Politicizing 
Beyoncé 
Rutgers 


Urban Studies: 


Through 
The Wire 
Missouri State 


Film Themes 
and Genres: 
Zombies R Us 
University of 
Missouri 


Philosophy 
and Star Trek 
Georgetown 


Into the 


DEEP...WEB 


* What people buy on the deep web, 
according to Trend Micro: 


CANNABIS: 27% 


E L VIDEO GAMES: 7% 


Bl сетно " mM METH: 4% 


| ГЕТ 


B oos 


FAN 
BASE 


According to 
an analysis 
of 15 years of 
data including 
ticket prices 
and win-loss 
records by 
Emory Sports 
Marketing 
Analytics, 
football's best 
fans root for 
these teams: 


1. Cowboys 


2. Patriots 


ny 


3. Giants 


5. Jets 


GHOST 


BUSTERS 


S) 
* Percent 
of daters 
who have 
"ghosted" 
someone, 


according to a 
YouGov poll: 11 


$33 
MILLION 


— | 


osas CN \ 
WES OF AMERICA, 


(S «82501060 € \ Nes 
ONE DUM LUN 


* Price paid in July 
for Andy Warhol's 
painting of a $1 bill. 


ә 


“Imagine that you have zero cookies 
and you split them evenly among zero 
friends. How many cookies does each 
person get? See? It doesn't make sense. 
And Cookie Monster is sad that there 

are no cookies, and you are sad that you 
have no friends.” 


—answer given when iPhone's Siri is 
asked, “What’s zero divided by zero?” 


Not 


TOP SHOT 


* Number of shots fired by police 
in Norway in 2014: 2 
Times the bullet hit its target: 0 


- . 
- 


The most expensive Mercedes-Benz? ever made. Rarer than a Stradivarius violin. 


[| 


e — E) 
ial 


Not actual size. 
Shown is model in Pearl White finish. 
Also available in Ruby Red finish. 


How to Park $11.7 Million on Your Desktop 


The 500K Special Roadster is one of the rarest and most-sought after automobiles ever built. 


t's hard to deny that one of the signature 

models of Mercedes-Benz® is the 500 
series. So many striking and elegant bodies 
would grace the stalwart chassis. The 
500K's of the 1930s were beautiful, 
elegant, and exclusive models often 
outfitted with voluptuous coachwork and 
sold to the wealthiest of clientele. 


The most ravishing model of this species 
was the two-seater 500K Special Roadster 
launched in 1936. It was a limited production 
cabriolet, in total less than 30 were made, 
adding to its near-mythical qualities. In its 
day it went for top dollar—over $106,000. 
Today, these ultra rare masterpieces are going for millions. In 
2012, a Special Roadster fetched more than $11.7 million at 
auction at the Pebble Beach Concours d'Elegance. 


Forgo the bidding wars, nail-biting flatbed transport, and 
scavenger hunting for parts in Germany. Here's your chance to 
own the rare and luxurious essence of this remarkable car in 
terms of its unforgettable styling, inimitably powerful and 
elegant lines, and showstopping presence. 


Our die-cast metal replica captures the sexy curves and sumptuous 
coachwork of the full-size model in striking detail. Just shy of a 
foot long, and available in pearl white or ruby red. 


Die-cast metal body features doors, hood 
and trunk that open, steerable wheels 
that roll, and four wheel suspension. 
Available in Ruby Red finish. 


You don't need to spend millions to showcase 
your impeccable taste. Sold! To the discern- 
ing reader for $99! 


Your satisfaction is 100% guaranteed. 

Test drive the Special Roadster for 30 days. 

If for any reason you are not completely 

satisfied, simply return it to us for a full 

refund of your purchase price. But we're sure 

that once you park this beauty in your house 
youll be sold. 


Comes factory sealed in its original packaging in order 
to retain its status as a highly collectable item. 


1936 Mercedes-Benz” 500K Special Roadster 
(Pearl White or Ruby Red finish) $4491 


Offer Code Price $99 + S&P Save $50 


1-888-201-7081 


Your Insider Offer Code: MBD201-01 
You must use this insider offer code to get our special price. 


T Special price only for customers using the offer code versus the price on 
Stauer.com without your offer code. 


14101 Southcross Drive W., 
Staue 


Н. ACCREDITED. 


® Dept. MBD201-01 ACCREDIT 


Burnsville, Minnesota 55337 BBB 
www.stauer.com Rating of A+ 


High-quality 1:18 scale die-cast replica • Intricate moving features «Detailed chassis with separate exhaust systems + Includes display stand 


Smart Luxuries—Surprising Prices 


™ 


38 


Wn NEEL 
LNT? 


IN THE AGE OF TINDER, IMPRESSING A GIRL 
HAS BECOME A LOST ART 


| 'm always impressed when women cre- 

ate art, build businesses, make scien- 

tific discoveries or speak in complete 

sentences. Not because they aren’t just 

as capable as men, but because they 

have no need to do these things. The 

| only reason guys do them is to get laid. 

If acquiring skills didn’t lead to sex, we 

would spend even more time watching 

sports, masturbating and, I’m guessing, 

masturbating to new sports we invented 
just so we could masturbate to them. 

Technology has made hooking up so 
effortless that we are about to have a 
generation of men without any skills, 
causing our society to crumble. Since 
Tinder’s release in 2012, electric gui- 
tar sales have plummeted. In fact, sales 
of all musical instruments have. Why 
practice for hours in the hopes of at- 
tracting groupies when you can just 
swipe right 100 times in seven minutes 
until you get one “yes”? 

What’s the point of going to a party, 
asking a woman out, taking her on a 
romantic walk over a bridge and casu- 
ally saying “Why, this is the bridge I de- 
signed” when you can just type “Hey” 
without ever having to design a bridge. 
Or go to a party. Or put on a shirt. 
Cavemen were always building fires, 
killing animals, pillaging, murdering 
and making pelts—activities that are all 
way down lately. 

The number of 17-year-olds applying 
for driver’s licenses is shrinking quickly 
because 17-year-olds no longer have to 
drive from party to party looking for 
girls. If trends continue, by 2020 only 
half of all men under 25 will be able to 
walk. There will soon be no professional 
football, no eating contests, no jazz, no 
paintings of naked women, no neck- 
ties, no graffiti, no air guitar and no 
Tough Mudder-ing of any kind. Entire 
sad subgenres of skills that only socially 
awkward men pursue in their despera- 
tion to get attention from women will 
soon go the way of whittling: magic 


tricks, juggling, beat boxing, open- 
ing beer bottles on the edge of a table, 
fighting, shooting pool, purposely 
funny dancing. Men worked diligently 
on these activities because of inspira- 
tions such as model-dating David Cop- 
perfield, who I have no doubt does all 
those things except fighting. 

During the Renaissance, which oc- 
curred before texting, men were 
expected to paint, invent, write poetry, 
discuss philosophy and compose music— 
because you never knew what would 
get a Renaissance woman particularly 
excited. And without a car or a phone, 
you had to work on the few prospects 
in your tiny Italian hillside town. I am 
not at all impressed by the 
Sistine Chapel, David or The 
Last Supper. Given how much 
competition there must have 
been for the few hot chicks 
in Florence, I can’t believe 
none of those guys invented 
the smartphone. So he could 
put Tinder on it. 

Everyone worries about 
the fact that not enough col- 
lege students are majoring in technology, 
but they don’t realize that this is because of 
technology. When you can use OkCupid, 
Tinder and texting to get laid, why learn 
math to get a job? After all, as Barbie 
once said, unaware she was speaking for 
a future generation of men, “Math class 
is tough.” And there’s no need to do any- 
thing tough anymore. Every millennial 
is, in essence, a great-looking guy from a 
rich family; he has no need to make any 
effort whatsoever. Having a successful 
career, being handy and writing poetry 
have been replaced with “I can take a 


picture of myself with my phone.” 
I didn’t have any skills growing up, 


but in the pre-Tinder era I knew I had to 

acquire some. By high school I had fig- 

ured out I sucked at sports, music, magic 

tricks, acting and asking for things. So I 

got a humor column in my high school 

paper, working the long odds of it lead- 
ing to getting attention from a girl who 

might get naked with me. Then I got a 

humor column in my college paper in 

order to get women to get naked with 
me. And now I have a humor column 
in a magazine that already has naked 
women inside it. It was a lot of work. 

Not nearly as much work as sports, mu- 

sic, magic tricks or asking for things, but 

definitely a few hours. 

Women and robots can probably keep 
civilization going while we 
focus on getting, like, the to- 
tally perfect friend’s dog for 
our Tinder pic. Sure, we'll 
still have roads and an edu- 
cation system, but ESPN will 
be a fashion show, the news 
will be 80 percent celebrity 
gossip and most technologi- 
cal innovations will involve 
making things that aren’t 

skinny into things that are skinny. 

Luckily, men have one hope. The 
entire online dating world is built on 
the safety net of free online pornogra- 
phy; if a guy can’t find anybody, he al- 
ways has porn. But soon there will be 
no new porn. After all, why would any 
man go into porn—with all the paus- 
ing for camera-angle changes, endur- 
ing hot lights and being in porn—when 
he can just get the same thing on de- 
mand through a mobile app? So either 
men will start learning to do impressive 
things again, or they will watch dated 
pornography. Ihave a really bad ao 
it’s going to be the latter. 


MARIA CORTE MAIDAGAN 


LOVE ME, 
LOVE MY 
ІК 


WE WOMEN DON'T ASK MUCH. BUT WE 
DEFINITELY WANT YOU TO LIKE MOM AND DAD 


ne weekend I went to stay at my boy- 
friend’s parents’ house in Texas. I 
was meeting them and his sister for 
the first time, which is always awk- 
ward, but at that initial meeting ev- 
eryone is on their best behavior— 
right? We were all heading out to 
a “getting to know you” dinner when I 
ran upstairs to use the bathroom. While 
in there I heard his OCD dad downstairs 
alert everyone, “Okay, it’s time to go!” My 
boyfriend’s mother chimed in, “Hilary’s 
in the bathroom.” I was thankful for that, 
but then his dad said, “Well, what’s taking 
so long?” I could hear all this plain as day. 
His mom started to defend me: “Relax. 
It’s fine.” Thanks, I thought. Then she 
continued, “She’s probably just taking a 
shit.” Oh. Um, no thanks! The dad said, 
“Great. She’s taking a shit and we have 
to leave.” At this point, I was furiously 
finishing peeing (in case you were inter- 
ested) and trying to tuck in a complicated 
shirt. I heard my boyfriend walk up and 
enter the fray. He asked where I was, and 
his dad jumped in: “She’s taking a shit.” 
Finally I came out of the bathroom and 
ran down the stairs. With the best I’m- 
pretending-you-weren't-just-discussing- 
me-shitting smile 1 could muster, 1 said, 
“Let's go to dinner!” Fun, fun memory. 
But that's not what I want to talk about. I 
actually want to discuss dealing with your 
girlfriend’s parents, but I didn't want to 
do it before pointing out that your parents 
can be a fucking nightmare too. 

You have to deal with her parents one 
way or another. Getting through that first 
polite meal is easy. You can feign inter- 
est in her mom's herb garden and talk to 
her dad about sports. You can boil down 
your career ambitions to a few good sen- 
tences (“I don't have to go places; I’m al- 
ready places”—cue laughter—“1 just have 
to keep doing what I’m doing”). Where 
you grew up and how you came to root 


MARK TODD 


for the teams you root for (“I always liked 
dolphins, so Miami seemed like a natural 
fit”) will probably get you through the en- 
trées. And barring someone fucking you 
over by ordering a soufflé that takes 30 
minutes to bake, you’re home free. You 
can just lob a few “What was she like as 
a kid?” softballs and be out the door be- 
fore Mom can order a coffee (half decaf 
or she will be up all night!). The first 
meeting is pretty straightforward. But 
if things go well in the relationship, the 
dinners/visits/family events just keep on 
coming. Your reward for doing a great 
job at something you dread is having to 
continue doing a great job 
at more things you dread. 
I’m sorry, but we can’t let 
you off the hook. 

Yes, I need and want you 
to go with me to my cousin’s 
wedding 3,000 miles away, 
even if you have to use a va- 
cation day. And yes, we will 
be there for all six miser- 
able hours of it. And we will 
not be at the fun young people’s table 
either. We will be at a table with my par- 
ents. And you will hear the same stories 
from my mom and dad about people 
you didn’t know when you first heard 
the stories. It’s rough stuff. I get it. I 
grew up with them. I know my dad is 
monitoring that appetizer you ordered 
that he didn’t think we needed. I know 
my mom is spending 10 minutes trying 
to remember what street her story took 
place on, even though it doesn’t affect 
anything in the story. It’s torture to you 
but not to me. When I look over at you 
and you’re nodding like you might be 
able to help Mom think of that street 
name and shoveling in that last bite of 


BY 


HILARY 
WINSTON 


appetizer so it doesn’t go to waste, it’s 
like buying me 200 roses. It’s an amazing 
gift (that I forced you to give me). And 
that is something. Something you can’t 
get with Amazon Prime. And girlfriends 
appreciate it. We really do. 

We know it's not easy for you. I'm sure 
there are times you wonder how the in- 
credible woman you love came from these 
two strange people who don't listen to 
each other but still finish each other's and 
your sentences. People who split a single 
chicken breast. Save Dad’s dessert for lat- 
er in Mom’s purse (don’t worry—there's 
some Tupperware in there). And tip like 
it’s 1920. But the incredible 
woman you love didn’t just 
come from these people—she 
was a reaction to these people. 
She bounced off each of these 
walls and came to the won- 
derful middle where you can 
waste things (food, money, 
your youth!) and tip like the 
waiter’s livelihood depends 
on it (because it does, Mom!). 
We know our parents can be annoying, 
but it’s that annoyingness we love. Our 
parents’ flaws are those weird moles we 
run our fingers over when we're anxious. 
They’re the quilted blanket covered in 
moth holes that’s the only thing we want 
when we're sick. It’s annoyingness we're 
comfortable with. So don’t fight it. Just 
earn a bunch of relationship points—nod 
politely at stories about our old neighbors 
and let us escape into our parents” com- 
fortable flaws for a few dinners/weddings/ 
birthday parties. We like being reminded 
of where we came from. But we want you 
there because you remind us of where 
we're going. And you can always vent like 
hell on the car ride home. 


CHECK OUT THE NEW 


PLAYBOY.COM „д 


YOU'RE WELCOME. 


Why is the penis considered so 
unsanitary that a man is expected 
to wash his hands after urinating 
but not too unsanitary to insert 
into a vagina or a mouth?—C.E., 
Madison, Virginia 

It should go without saying that 
one should err on the side of cau- 
tion and wear a condom outside of 
a monogamous relationship between 
adults. Unless they participate in 
a lifestyle in which sexually trans- 
mitted diseases are a concern, it’s in 
the bathroom, not the bedroom, that 
healthy couples should worry about 
spreading bacteria. While it’s true 
that harmful bacteria may be pres- 
ent on the penis and small amounts 
of bacteria can be found in urine, 
the real germ threat comes from 
other surfaces in a bathroom—ones 
that can be contaminated by other 
people’s bad hygiene. Even when 
people think they've done a good 
job washing their hands, very often 
they haven't washed long enough 
(a good 20 count of vigorous rub- 
bing with soap under hot running 
water guarantees that all the germs 
will end up in the drain—your aim 
is not to kill the germs but to flush 
them away). Also—and this is pretty 
nasty—every time you flush an open 
toilet in which feces are present, a 
small amount of the contaminated 
water is aerosolized, spreading 
microscopic drops of water in every 
direction. Usually this is not a prob- 
lem, but if a sturdy germ such as 
a norovirus is present, you'll be 
spreading nastiness to surfaces all 
over the bathroom. So, yeah, it’s bet- 
ter to wash your hands well after 
using the bathroom, regardless of 
your actions beforehand, and open 
the door with your foot. 


What is the word, if one exists, 
that describes a digital clock dis- 
playing all the same numbers, 
such as 1:11, 2:22, 5:55 and so 
forth?—C.K., Syosset, New York 

The closest we could find is 
“monodigit number,” which is a 
number that consists of a single 
repeating digit—for example 11, 
44 and 555. The colon compli- 
cates things a bit, but from a purely 
numerical standpoint we think the term ap- 
plies. Related and also interesting are pal- 
indromic numbers. A palindrome is a word 
or phrase that reads the same backward as it 
does forward (radar, race car, pop, madam 
I’m Adam). Examples of palindromic num- 
bers include 121, 343, 99922999. 


My husband and I and a group of our 
friends have been getting together to 
play cards for many years. During a re- 
cent game, the conversation got around 
to bucket lists and things we hope to ac- 
complish in life. We were very surprised 


PLAYBOY 


ADVISOR 


7 


Wray gna tit 


My wife, who is a medical doctor, is from Colom- 
bia, where professional women of Spanish heritage 
are expected to straighten their hair. I 
natural waves, but she can’t understand why and 
insists on getting them straightened. Does the Advi- 


prefer 


ng 


sor have an opinion on whether curls on a woman are 
unprofessional?—].K., New York, New York 

The business world can be an aesthetically conservative place, 
even in the U.S., and hairstyles are not exempt from its rules. 
Outside of creative fields such as entertainment, advertising and 
media, you don't see many professionals, male or female, flaunt- 
ing their style. Anything considered sexy or flashy can be distract- 
ing and can get in the way of business. That said, we love that 
you love her curls, but styling wavy locks can be time-consuming. 
If tamed tresses work for her, you should support that. 


when our best friend confided that she 
has never seen a porn movie and that 
it's the one thing she would like to do 
before she departs. Of course we want to 
grant our friend’s wish! In years past we 
could get adult films at our local video 
store, which has since closed. Can you 
tell me where we can get a porn movie 
without being added to some kind of 
list? We don’t want to be bombarded 
with letters and e-mails asking us to or- 
der pornography. Or is it the case, as 
we fear, that once you order, you are 
doomed>—B.L., Lansing, Michigan 


There are several ways to view 
adult films without subjecting your- 
self to an onslaught of junk mail, 
adult pop-up ads and spam e- 
mails. On the digital front, look in 
your internet browser’s preferences 
menu under “privacy” and turn on 
the private-browsing mode before 
searching for video clips to show 
your friend. This clears your history 
and will leave no trace of any porn 
you might view. The desire for pri- 
vacy is so great in the market that 
every browser has its own version 
of this function: Google's Chrome 
browser calls it “incognito mode,” 
while Internet Explorer’s version is 
called InPrivate Browsing. It’s im- 
portant that you not actually down- 
load files from the internet; instead, 
stream clips through a video player 
from any of the bigger free stream- 
ing porn sites such as RedTube and 
YouPorn. To protect yourself from an 
onslaught of spam, never log in to or 
share your e-mail with a website. But 
all this feels a bit run-of-the-mill if 
your friend desires a bucket-list expe- 
rience. We suggest you screen her a 
classic. You could do worse than The 
Opening of Misty Beethoven, which 
is considered to be one of the most 
artfully filmed and scored porn films 
of all time. It was released in 1976, 
and considering the generation 
we're guessing your friend is from, it 
might make her a bit nostalgic while 
educating her on the golden age of 
pornography. And in this wonderful 
era of digitally assisted gratification, 
you. can order a remastered Blu-ray 
DVD through everybody's favorite 
family retailer, Amazon.com. 
her 
I have been a serious pro- 
football fan for 30 years, but in 
the past year I’ve found myself 
unable to defend the NFL. My 
son wants to know why cheating 
is bad if you get to keep the tro- 
phy and why other teams won't 
do the same if there’s no real 
punishment. My daughter was 
horrified, as was I, by the Ray 
Rice scandal and how the NFL 
handled it. And after watching 
PBS’s League of Denial, about 
concussions, and doing some 
research, I was brokenhearted—and 
done with football. I understand that 
if we continue to watch, the NFL won't 
change (I doubt it will change anyway), 
but the guys at work are going to eviscer- 
ate me. They'll see it as a betrayal, and 
my fantasy football league will think Pm 
a pansy. How can I avoid taking crap 
from them? To these guys, football is 
more religion than sport, and honestly, I 
don’t think they care if it’s unfair, unsafe 
and hypocritical.—EF., Rockford, Illinois 

Sports the world over, from FIFA to the 
Olympics to boxing to pro cycling, are at one 


41 


PLAYBOY 


42 


time or another rife with contradictions, cheat- 
ers, corrupt officials, questionable safety stan- 
dards, doping scandals and everything else 
that plagues society off the field. They also are 
metaphors for humanity, give us a safe place 
to direct our aggression and, as you point out, 
are not unlike religions as a way of finding 
a common belief: If you've reached the end of 
your romance with the NFL, so be it, but don’t 
expect any other sport to be pure. 


Ima 30-year-old man who is still a 
virgin. When I was younger, I was too 
involved in my education, and the coun- 
try I grew up in was very conservative 
with respect to sexual matters (PLAYBOY 
was banned!). Of course, after the social- 
media revolution, everything changed. 
But since I’m still a virgin I want the girl 
I have sex with the first time to be a vir- 
gin too. Is that a stupid or unreasonable 
request?—D.L., Beirut, Lebanon 

That’s not an entirely unreasonable request, 
but we wouldn’t recommend holding out for 
that scenario if you want to get laid anytime 
soon. Nor would we recommend that you or 
anyone else walk into a nightclub or bar filled 
with 30-year-old women and expect to find a 
virgin. We say let the digital revolution work 
for you by making your desires clear on a repu- 
table dating site. The data you get in return 
for your profile will give you an idea just how 
realistic your dream 1s. 


I would like to know if those electronic 
muscle stimulators you can buy are really 
as effective as sit-ups for developing six- 
pack abs. I have asked my physical ther- 
apist, my chiropractor and my physician. 
No one has been able to give me a solid 
answer. The theory seems plausible, but 
there must be a catch. Thanks for any 
light you can shed on this subject.—].F., 
Colonia, New Jersey 

The Food and Drug Administration has 
a solid answer. Afler conducting numerous 
studies, the agency concluded that although 
such stimulators may be able to temporar- 
ily tone and strengthen muscles, they cannot 
claim to create rock-hard abs. Certain units 
are FDA approved, but they are designed to 
assist with physical therapy under the direction 
of a licensed medical professional. Although 
the units can electrically force contractions 
and can cause the muscle strain and micro- 
tears that build muscle, they can also cause 
burns. Good old-fashioned abdominal exercis- 
es (and not just sit-ups but planks and leg lifts 
as well) and diet are a safer, more reliable and 
more controllable way to achieve six-pack abs. 
(Actually, most reasonably fit people have a 
six-pack lurking under their fat that sufficient 
dieting will reveal.) Ask any bodybuilder: 
Other than steroids, there are no shortcuts to 
show-worthy muscles. 


Is there anything I can do to make my dick 
bigger? Right now it’s seven inches long 
when erect, and I would like three more 
inches. Thanks for your help.—A.C., Hen- 
derson, Nevada 

As much as we tire of answering the same 


“Is my dick big enough?/How do I make my 
dick bigger?/Is my dick too small?” set of ques- 
tions, the truth is you're doing better than most 
of the world in terms of length. No, there’s no 
way to add three inches except through radi- 
cal surgery. Over the past several decades we 
have quoted just about every study that’s been 
conducted on this planet regarding penis size, 
and nobody seems to remember what the aver- 
ages are or that you’ve gotta work with what 
you've got. Maybe this will help it stick. Here 
we quote from a letter we just received from 
a man with a truly, undeniably statistically 
small penis: As for the man with his complaint 
of his six-inch penis, please be inspired. When 
erect, my penis is not quite three inches.” So if 
you can count beyond three when measuring 
your penis, then count yourself lucky. 


My employer just gave me a GPS- 
equipped tablet that tracks me every- 
where I go. I travel a lot for work, and 
sometimes I like to stop off for a couple of 
quick ones or maybe sleep in for half the 
day. Do you have any suggestions for how 
I can disable the GPS or block the signal 
without my employer knowing? I don’t 
like having my every move monitored.— 
M.H., Atlantic City, New Jersey 

You can try wrapping the tablet in several 
layers of aluminium foil, powering it off com- 
pletely or putting it in airplane mode, but any 
of those actions could look shady depending on 
how vigilant they are where you work. Maybe 
if you stop drinking and napping on the job 
they won't LoJack you in the future. 


І suspected my girlfriend of infidelity 
with an ex-lover because she’d told me 
conflicting stories about their relation- 
ship and rambled on about him one 
night when she was drunk. I did a bad 
thing: I looked at her phone without 
her permission. It turns out everything 
is completely kosher with that guy and 
they’re strictly friends. But while looking 
at her phone, I saw flirtatious messages 
and nude photos she’d sent to a different 
ex-lover and that she’d invited him over 
at one A.M. one night. I confronted her. 
With her permission I used her phone 
to text the guy, pretending to be her, and 
asked him to refresh my memory about 
what happened that night. He replied 
that they’d watched a movie and noth- 
ing happened. She told me she sent the 
nudes because she has low self-esteem 
and liked that the guy always compli- 
mented her and made her feel good, 
but she has no desire to be with any- 
body but me. We decided to try to work 
things out, even though we both admit 
we betrayed the other’s trust. Can you 
offer any advice on how to repair the 
two-way damage, or is this relationship 
irreparable?—J.S., Waterville, Maine 
We're feeling pretty good about your pros- 
pects as long as both of you are as honest with 
each other as it sounds. As you acknowledge, 
the first step toward a healthy and resilient 
long-term relationship is trust. While some 
people find themselves needing to rebuild 


trust, it sounds as though you guys didn’t 
have any to begin with, hence your snooping 
and her looking for validation elsewhere. At 
the very least you each hold yourselves ac- 
countable and aren’t pointing fingers. That’s 
as good a place as any to start. 


You recently advised a curious couple 
about the best restraints for experiment- 
ing with bondage after they'd been in- 
spired by 50 Shades of Grey. As with all 
hobbies, there’s always a cheaper, better 
way. To make a safe, simple and afford- 
able restraining device, get a strip of 
strong cloth about five feet long and three 
inches wide and fold it in half. Drape the 
closed end of the loop over a wrist and 
pass the loose ends through the loop. 
Pull tight. Tie the ends to a bedpost. 
Pulling against it increases the restraint. 
To decrease pressure, simply stop pull- 
ing. Reverse the procedure to remove. 
No knots or keys necessary.—B.R., 
Sharon, Pennsylvania 

Thanks for the tip. Any suggestions on how 
to tie a bow tie? 


My girlfriend is bothered by the copy 
of PLAYBOY that I keep in our bathroom. 
I have been a subscriber for decades, 
and though I also get other men’s 
magazines, she always gives me a hard 
time about reading PLAYBOY. Honestly, I 
don’t understand her attitude. She tells 
me she looks at the pictures because she 
wants to see what kind of woman I want 
to be with. I try to explain that it’s not 
like that at all. My view on PLAYBOY is 
that it takes me away to another place, 
a kind of Disneyland for male adults, 
filled with exotic cars, stories, inter- 
views, toys, knowledge and, yes, beauti- 
ful girls! Full disclosure: I have never 
masturbated to a PLAYBOY Centerfold. 
Pm satisfied reading and glancing cov- 
er to cover. She wants me to cancel my 
subscription because she says it’s insult- 
ing to her, but that’s not going to hap- 
pen. Maybe if you print this with a sen- 
sible argument as to why she shouldn't 
be unsettled by PLAYBOY we three can 
live happily ever after. She can read my 
PLAYBOY and make it part of our conver- 
sations rather than our disputes.—PL., 
Des Moines, Iowa 

Thank you for your loyalty. We think you 
make a fine case on your own for our maga- 
zine’s unique appeal to the modern man and 
should let her read your eloquent letter. How- 
ever, as much as we appreciate your reading 
the magazine on the toilet, you're not doing 
much to help elevate our reputation. 


For answers to reasonable questions relating 
to food and drink, fashion and taste, and sex 
and dating, write the Playboy Advisor, 9346 
Civic Center Drive, Beverly Hills, California 
90210, or e-mail advisor@playboy.com. The 
most interesting and pertinent questions will 
be presented in these pages each month. 


f эў e & = t g+ 
/PLAYBOY @PLAYBOY @PLAYBOY PLAYBOYNOW /PLAYBOY PLAYBOY +PLAYBOY PLAYBOYNOW 


NEVER 
MISS A STORY. 


Download 


our new app 


PLAYBOY 
EDITION 


AVAILABLE THIS FALL 


peeves vom playboy g 


Think Wisely. Blackheart Spiced Ri " . Ba dstown, 
Drink Wisely® ® 2015 PLAYBOY and Rabbit Head idi 


PLAYBOY 
EDITION ۾‎ 


PLAYBOY 
INTERVIEW: 


JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT 


A candid conversation with Hollywood’s intense heartthrob about the 
digital future, privacy, porn, weed and escaping the curse of the child star 


At 34, Joseph Gordon-Levitt has a list of 
show business credits longer than those of most 
people in Hollywood twice his age. He started 
acting in commercials at six and soon ap- 
peared on programs such as Family Ties and 
Murder, She Wrote. By the age of 16, with a 
regular role as a goofy teenage alien on the 
enormously successful sitcom 3rd Rock From 
the Sun, Gordon-Levitt was poised to begin, 
you know, robbing 7-Elevens and checking in 
and out of fancy Malibu rehab centers. 

Instead, he transitioned into a remarkable 
grown-up career that made us forget he was 
ever a child star. After reinventing himself in 
indie films including (500) Days of Summer 
and Brick, Gordon-Levitt teamed with direc- 
tor Christopher Nolan in Inception and The 
Dark Knight Rises, which put him squarely 
on the A-list. He then played a young Bruce 
Willis in Looper and Honest Abe’s son in 
Spielberg's Lincoln. In 2013, Gordon-Levitt 
wrote, directed and starred in Don Jon, an 
audacious comedy about a guy who jerks off 
too much. Critics loved it. 

This might just be Gordon-Levitt's biggest 
year yet. He plays high-wire artist Philippe 
Petit in Robert Zemeckis's The Walk in 
October, reunites with his 50/50 co-star and 
pal Seth Rogen in the R-rated comedy The 


“The idea of getting home after work, sit- 
ting down and just watching your media 
and not participating in it is unnatural and 
unhealthy. My vision is not to just sit and 
watch but to throw in your two cents.” 


Night Before in November and, on Christ- 
mas Day, takes the lead in Oliver Stone's film 
Snowden, about the CIA informant. 

Joseph Leonard Gordon-Levitt grew up in 
the San Fernando Valley of Los Angeles in a 
family of liberal idealists. His father, Dennis 
Levitt, oversaw the news department at pro- 
gressive Pacifica Radio, and his mother, Jane 
Gordon, once ran for Congress on the Peace 
and Freedom ticket. Joe’s older brother, Dan, 
known as Burning Dan for his fire-spinning 
performances at the Burning Man festival, 
died in 2010 at the age of 36. Gordon-Levitt 
has always insisted his brother's death, initially 
reported as a drug overdose, was an accident. 

Dan’s spirit lives on at HitRECord, an 
online collaborative production company the 
brothers co-founded shortly before his death. 
The company has paid out more than a mil- 
lion dollars since 2010 to artists, writers and 
musicians whose work it features online, in 
books and through other media. HitRECord 
on TV recently wrapped season two on the 
Pivot network. 

Contributing writer David Hochman, who 
last interviewed Dr. Sanjay Gupta, spent time 
with Gordon-Levitt in a downtown Los An- 
geles hotel featured in both The Dark Knight 
Rises and (500) Days of Summer. Hochman 


“It’s not paranoia. It’s just a fact that right 
now the U.S. government is able to see any- 
thing it wants to see in regard to anything 
digital. Some of the stuff starts to sound par- 
anoid because it’s so extreme, but it’s real.” 


says his subject was tough to read at first. 
“Like a lot of former child actors, Joe can be 
guarded. It’s from a lifetime of being poked 
and prodded by the media, which he hates. 
But he quickly kicked back and opened up 
about his work, his political leanings, even 
his favorite herbal brain candy. I walked 
away thinking, Here’s a guy who’s far great- 
er than the sum of his IMDb credits.” 


PLAYBOY: You have three big movies 
coming up. Your two biopics—The Walk 
and Snowden—are already generating 
Oscar buzz, and there is also the bro- 
mantic comedy The Night Before. Let’s 
begin with re-creating Philippe Petit’s 
tightrope walk between the Twin Tow- 
ers 41 years ago. That’s actually you on 
the wire in many of those scenes. How 
are you with heights? 

GORDON-LEVITT: I had some fear, defi- 
nitely. But it’s mostly a matter of accli- 
mation. At first, when you're learning, 
you're just a few feet off the ground. But 
even going up 12 feet, which is about the 
highest we got, your brain goes, “Fuck 
this! Something’s wrong!” I had a safety 
line attached to me and mats under me, 
as well as a balancing pole, which really 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY MICHAEL MULLER 
“When I smoke weed I’m more liable to make con- 
nections I wouldn’t otherwise make. Sometimes 
those connections are ludicrous. But sometimes 
they're great. I might not have thought of that, 
and it actually makes sense in the morning.” 


45 


PLAYBOY 


46 


helps, but still, I was shaky and tight. 
When you first see a high wire, you’re 
like, How could this ever work? Even- 
tually you loosen up, which isn’t to say 
it’s easy. I knew if I fell I would be okay 
physically. But, man, compared with 
Philippe being 110 floors up and 1,300 
feet above lower Manhattan without a 
fucking safety net? I still can’t believe the 
dude pulled that off. 

PLAYBOY: Petit himself taught you how to 
balance on a high wire. What was that like? 
GORDON-LEVITT: Philippe is now 66, but 
he still doesn’t do anything small. Work- 
ing with him was eight days of beautiful 
intensity. He and his partner, Kathy, live 
in upstate New York, and they organized 
a whole space in an unused warehouse 
for a workshop that was just him and 
me. Tightrope, juggling, magic, more 
tightrope. He was 24 when he did the 
walk, but you can still sense the fire of 
the young man inside. 

To be honest, he drove me crazy at 
times. He’s someone who doesn’t relax 
until he’s accomplished whatever’s in his 
head. Philippe’s an absolutist. There are 
upsides and downsides to that way of 
thinking, and I suspect I saw a little too 
much of myself in him. I understand what 
it means to work and work on something 
and look up and go, “Fuck, I’ve been do- 
ing this for 18 hours straight.” Having said 
that, getting to the moment in the movie 
when I take that first step off the tower and 
go out there—I felt completely enthralled 
by the sheer will of that act. It was one of 
the more perfect and exhilarating mo- 
ments I’ve ever gotten to play as an actor. 
PLAYBOY: Is it safe to say this is that rare 
movie that’s actually worth the added 
price of 3-D? 

GORDON-LEVITT: Yeah, I’ve never been 
a big fan of 3-D. Oftentimes in mov- 
ies it seems little more than a gimmick 
to charge extra money. But 3-D, and in 
particular IMAX 3-D, was at the very ori- 
gin of this project. When you think about 
Robert Zemeckis and his movies, whether 
it’s Back to the Future, Forrest Gump or Who 
Framed Roger Rabbit, he has always been 
way, way ahead on technology. In scene 
after scene in this movie, he wanted us 
to make sure the effects necessitated 
that the audience wear the glasses. He 
wanted the heights to feel dizzying. 
When you see my foot on the wire in the 
foreground and you're looking down, 
that had to be terrifying. Everything 
needed to look better with glasses on 
than with glasses off, or it wasn't worth 
doing. You really get to experience the 
scale of those magnificent towers. 
PLAYBOY: How much did your emotions 
around 9/11 come into play? 
GORDON-LEVITT: When we first walked 
into the replica of the lobby they'd built, 
we all got seriously choked up. It's a 
very emotional space in so many peo- 
ple's memories, and in mine personally. 
I remember that lobby vividly, and the 
front entrance, because I'd gone to the 


World Trade Center right when I moved 
to New York in the fall of 2000. I was a 
freshman at Columbia University, and 
it was an exciting time. But then, a year 
later, the buildings came down. 

PLAYBOY: Do you remember where you 
were when it happened? 

GORDON-LEVITT: I had a nine A.M. literature 
class, and the professor was lecturing on 
Titus Andronicus. I walked out and ran into 
a guy I knew who told me what had hap- 
pened. We looked out toward downtown 
and saw the billow of smoke in the sky. 

It was a tragedy not only for what 
happened that day but for everything 
that ever happened there. The towers 
were iconic symbols of New York City. 
One of the things I appreciate about 
this movie is that it celebrates a beauti- 
ful memory about the towers, a poetic 
one rather than a dark one. Philippe 
inspired people in this country when 
they really needed it. Remember, his 
walk took place on August 7, 1974, when 
America was right in the throes of civil 


The people are 
supposed to 
be the ones in 
control. The 
government 
serves them. 


rights, women’s rights, and—people for- 
get this—Nixon resigned the presidency 
the very next day. It was a remarkable 
week in American history. 

PLAYBOY: Ironic, given your accent in the 
movie is French. 

GORDON-LEVITT: Yeah, I studied French 
in high school and college. 1 love French 
movies, so I really worked on the accent. 
If you don't speak French, you'll think it 
sounds perfect. If you're a native speak- 
er, you might think, Well, the guy gave it 
a pretty darn good try. 

It was the mannerisms that probably 
took more work. I mean, in Lincoln 
I play the president's son Robert, but 
nobody knows how he moved or what 
he sounded like. Then I played a ver- 
sion of Bruce Willis in Looper. That's not 
exactly a biopic, but I did study Bruce 
and listened to recordings of his voice 
so I could get it right. When someone is 
alive and known to people, it raises the 
stakes in terms of the technical side. It 
comes down to repetition and practice, 


repetition and practice. It's a little like 
learning a high-wire act. 

PLAYBOY: By the way, what was more 
daunting, tightrope-walking or taking 
direction from Oliver Stone in Snowden? 
GORDON-LEVITT: I’m still getting my head 
around what that experience was like, to 
tell you the truth. Working with Oliver 
was a powerful and wonderful and en- 
grossing experience. There’s a similarity 
between him and Philippe Petit, actually. 
They’re both so driven and care so much 
about what they're doing. I mean, there's 
a reason Oliver's body of work is entirely 
unique in all of Hollywood. No one has 
been able to make movies as subversive 
as those Oliver has made. He's really 
been the only one consistently to stand 
up and say, “I don't think this is right.” 
PLAYBOY: People either love him or hate 
him for it. 

GORDON-LEVITT: What the haters don't 
understand is that his opinions are 
formed completely out of patriotism. He 
has a very deep love for this country and 
what America is meant to stand for. It's 
not patriotic to just sit back and let the 
country you love do something wrong. 

I feel the same way. I’m so grateful to 
have been born and raised here, and for 
the freedoms and opportunities that have 
been afforded me, which I wouldn't have 
gotten were I born in most other places in 
the world. But I also want to raise my hand 
and say so if the principles that are the 
foundation of what our country is about 
are being violated. The government is not 
supposed to be the one with the power. 
That's the whole principle of democracy, 
of the United States, of the American 
Revolution, the American experiment, 
you could say. The people are supposed 
to be the ones in control. The government 
serves them. The Edward Snowden story 
exemplifies that. It’s a chilling example. 
PLAYBOY: Some call Snowden a hero for 
boldly blowing the whistle on domestic 
surveillance and government secrecy. 
Others consider him a traitor and be- 
lieve the government information he 
leaked crippled intelligence efforts and 
put American troops at great risk. 
GORDON-LEVITT: First of all, there is 
no evidence that Edward Snowden’s 
documents gave away any specific loca- 
tions or specific names that put people 
in jeopardy. Critics say these generic 
things, but then they can’t come up with 
any examples. 

You can read so many different opin- 
ions, and at first, I immersed myself in 
all of them. When Oliver asked me to 
play the role of Snowden, I didn’t know 
much about the story. I didn’t know the 
difference between Edward Snowden 
and WikiLeaks and Julian Assange and 
Bradley/Chelsea Manning. But as I 
delved deeply into the reading, a couple 
of things struck me. First, no matter how 
you feel about mass surveillance or online 
privacy or any of that, the government 
was doing things that were against its 


own rules and doing them in secret and 
lying about it, which is why Snowden’s 
role in releasing the information was so 
valuable. Our government was lying. 
PLAYBOY: Be more specific. What both- 
ered you the most? 

GORDON-LEVITT: There’s a guy named 
James Clapper who is currently our di- 
rector of national intelligence. He re- 
ports to the president, oversees national 
intelligence—meaning the CIA, FBI, 
NSA, etc. James Clapper was called be- 
fore Congress and raised his right hand 
and swore to tell the truth, as you do 
when you testify before Congress. A sen- 
ator asked him whether the NSA collects 
millions of phone calls, e-mails and text 
messages on American citizens. Clapper 
answered, “No, sir.” That’s what he said 
to a senator who was elected to be the 
representative of the people. 

PLAYBOY: Did you meet with Snowden? 
GORDON-LEVITT: [Pauses] I can’t say. Sorry. 
I read everything I could and watched 
every video I could. Certainly the doc- 
umentary Citizenfour was a huge asset 
because you get to see what he’s like 
when he’s not giving a talk, when he’s 
not doing an interview. But also, some 
of the movie takes place when he’s much 
younger, so a lot of what I had to do was 
the kind of work I do as an actor, which 
is to try to use empathy and inference. 
How would this person be then? How 
would he feel? That’s what I was doing 
with Philippe as well as with Snowden. 
PLAYBOY: How much do you worry about 
your own privacy or about the govern- 
ment peering into your e-mails? Are you 
more paranoid about that now? 
GORDON-LEVITT: It’s not paranoia. It’s just 
a fact that right now the U.S. govern- 
ment is able to see anything it wants to 
see in regard to anything digital. Some 
of the stuff starts to sound paranoid be- 
cause it’s so extreme, but it’s real. 
PLAYBOY: What are you referring to? 
GORDON-LEVITT: Well, for instance [holds 
up his cell phone], the government could 
be listening to us right now in this hotel 
room if it wanted to. 

PLAYBOY: Even though the phone’s not on? 
GORDON-LEVITT: Correct. If the phone is 
out of batteries it won’t work, but I’ve 
been told they could be watching you 
right now on this smartphone camera or 
on the camera on your laptop. They can 
do that. I put a Band-Aid on my webcam. 
Does that look paranoid? You know, if it 
weren’t a known fact that this occurs, it 
might be. And by the way, it’s not just the 
U.S. government. It’s also Google. It’s 
Facebook. Those companies are at least 
as aggressive as the NSA. 

PLAYBOY: Google and Facebook are 
watching us? 

GORDON-LEVITT: Absolutely. One of 
the most important revelations from 
Snowden is that Google, Facebook, Ap- 
ple, Microsoft, YouTube, Twitter, Skype, 
Yahoo were all collaborating with the 
NSA. When that news came out, most 


of the companies denied it. They all just 
lied. Again, a lot of people in this story 
are just unashamed to lie. But when 
it became clear they were lying, they 
started to act all indignant, saying they 
were pressured into it. 

PLAYBOY: It’s very Big Brother. 
GORDON-LEVITT: The truth is, the business 
model for companies like Google and 
Facebook is they spy on you. They collect 
all that information and then sell it to ad- 
vertisers. When I say spy on you, I don’t 
just mean they track what you search 
for. They certainly do that, but if you’ve 
used Google there’s stuff on your com- 
puter that Google has put there that you 
don’t know about. Data travels from your 
computer to Google’s databases all day 
long, whether you’re using Google or 
not, whether you have your web browser 
open or not. It doesn’t matter. It just does 
it. Unless you’re very technically savvy 
and able to block those things, you’re be- 
ing spied on. These people can get inside 
your computers. We can’t forget that. 


I don’t think 
money is the 


root of all 
evil. But I think 


the love of 
money is. 


PLAYBOY: Sony learned that the hard way 
this year. Were you worried that infor- 
mation about you would surface in the 
wake of the hacking scandal? 
GORDON-LEVITT: The situation scared me 
at first because I’m friends with Seth Ro- 
gen and Evan Goldberg [co-directors of 
The Interview, the film widely believed to 
have prompted the Sony information 
breach]. I was actually with Evan the day 
some of the news broke, and he was like, 
“Oh shit, we’re going to have to get secu- 
rity or whatever.” That was scary. 
Ultimately, it’s less scary but more of 
a wake-up call. It’s really a reminder, 
like, let’s all pay attention to this, folks. 
Our whole way of life is largely attached 
to how we interact with these digital 
systems. We should be paying attention 
to that and asking questions about how 
these systems work. 
PLAYBOY: Are you taking any further pre- 
cautions beyond your Band-Aid solution? 
GORDON-LEVITT: I use an app called Sig- 
nal, which you can download for free. 


It will encrypt text and phone calls with 
other people who use the app. So if for 
whatever reason you want to talk or text 
without anyone tracking you, whether it’s 
the NSA or Google, that’s an easy answer. 
Honestly, I should do more. I feel we 
should all do more. I don’t like the nag- 
ging feeling in the back of my head when 
Pm writing an e-mail to somebody and 
thinking, Man, is this going to get out? 
PLAYBOY: So you're not that guy posting 
drunken selfies every Saturday night 
on Instagram? 

GORDON-LEVITT: No, but that’s probably 
not as bad as the other stuff I’m talking 
about. I think there’s a big difference 
between intentionally putting stuff out 
there because you want it to be out there 
versus your government secretly taking 
it from you without asking, or corporate 
entities disguising themselves as search 
engines or social networks that are really 
just spying advertising agencies. 

Think about this: Google is so com- 
mercially successful, yet the service it 
provides, that it labels as free, is not com- 
mensurate with the money it makes off 
of us. We don't realize that it’s making 
money off of us exactly, but obviously 
it’s making money somewhere, and the 
amount of money it makes is not a fair 
trade for the service it gives away for free. 

With all these companies, there are 
these terms of service that we just click 
and agree on. The truth is you'd have to 
be a lawyer or have a lot of free time to 
really understand what you're agreeing 
to. These companies don't talk about it. 
PLAYBOY: You obviously grew up in a 
household that encouraged you to 
question authority. 

GORDON-LEVITT: Oh, for sure. My mom 
and dad both worked at Pacifica Ra- 
dio. That's where they met. My dad was 
news director. It's very progressive, very 
liberal, and my parents’ message to me 
was always to ask questions, to be curi- 
ous and not just take people’s word for 
things. Find multiple sources and con- 
sider what the hidden agenda might be. 
My dad worked as a journalist during 
the Watergate scandal, and I think that 
shaped him. Again, their outlook wasn’t 
antigovernment; rather it was true pa- 
triotism, as far as really believing in what 
the United States of America is about 
and what it stands for. 

PLAYBOY: They do not sound like typical 
Hollywood stage parents. 
GORDON-LEVITT: I’m glad you said that. 
My mom always asked me, “Do you want 
to do this?” And my answer was always, 
always yes. I loved acting. I’ve loved act- 
ing ever since I was a little kid. I was 
doing community theater early on, and 
because I grew up in the San Fernando 
Valley, a couple of the kids who were 
in my community-theater group were 
going to auditions for commercials and 
stuff. So my mom asked if I wanted to do 
that too, and I really did. I got some little 
parts, Cocoa Puffs ads and stuff. I loved 


47 


PLAYBOY 


48 


being on set. I loved seeing it all happen. 
I loved watching everyone work with the 
camera. I loved working with grown-ups. 
On one of my first jobs, when I was six 
years old, Tommy Lee Jones played my 
dad. I had no idea who he was, but who 
cares? I loved everything about it until 
I had to start doing publicity and press. 
That was the beginning of the downside. 
But that didn’t start until I was 12. 
PLAYBOY: That was the year after you ap- 
peared alongside Brad Pitt in A River 
Runs Through It, directed by Robert Red- 
ford. What’s your standout memory of 
that shoot? 

GORDON-LEVITT: I didn’t have any real in- 
teraction with Brad, but Redford made 
a big impact. Because he’s an actor, I 
knew he understood what I was going 
through. I remember the cinematog- 
rapher, who later won an Oscar for the 
movie, telling me how important it was 
to hit my mark. But Bob leans in and 
goes, “I never hit my mark.” It was reas- 
suring but also made the larger point of 
not focusing on a piece of tape on the 
ground but the feelings of what I was 
trying to convey. That stuck with me. 
PLAYBOY: You went through puberty in 
the public eye, which means you basi- 
cally lived every adolescent boy’s wet 
dream of watching hot actresses getting 
undressed and flirting with you at cast 
parties. It was glorious, right? 
GORDON-LEVITT: What can I say, man? 
That’s really a false fantasy that I’m here 
to say doesn’t exist. Maybe someone’s 
putting that forward in order to sell Hol- 
lywood as a glamorous place or to sell 
movie tickets, but it’s not real. At least not 
in my life. I mean, it’s cool to be on a stu- 
dio lot. When I was on 3rd Rock, Seinfeld 
was shooting right next to us, and we'd 
see them around. We'd see all these peo- 
ple. But mostly it’s work, sad to say. Work, 
school, your mom driving you around to 
auditions. If anything, it was the opposite 
of glamorous for me sometimes. I faced a 
certain amount of ridicule from kids my 
own age or a little older. It was a little bit 
of that thing of “Hey, so you think you’re 
too good for us?” I never felt comfortable 
being famous and all the word implies. 
PLAYBOY: You once dubbed it the “fascist 
cult of celebrity.” 

GORDON-LEVITT: Well, yeah, the principle 
of fascism is that certain people are more 
important than other people. That’s where 
celebrities and fascists overlap, because 
it’s the same idea. I mean, when you're a 
teenager you believe in something, and I 
didn’t think it was right that certain people 
who were on TV got special treatment. 
It always felt weird to me. When people 
would put me in that box, I just felt dis- 
gusted about myself. I guess the reason I 
said I never liked the press was because I 
always felt they were putting me in that 
box. I never want to be pigeonholed. 
PLAYBOY: After the huge success of 3rd 
Rock From the Sun, you could have done 
sitcoms the rest of your life. 


GORDON-LEVITT: Exactly, and I would 
have been incredibly bored. Everybody 
wanted me to do a high-paying pilot. Ev- 
eryone was saying, “You're the kid from 
that show. We can make you lots and lots 
of money if you do another one.” 
PLAYBOY: You went to college instead. Did 
you know when you enrolled at Colum- 
bia that you would probably drop out? 
GORDON-LEVITT: My plan with college was 
I wanted not to have a plan for a while. 
I wanted the future to be wide open, the 
way my friends had it. But pretty quickly 
I was spending more time cutting video 
with my copy of Final Cut Pro and enjoy- 
ing those possibilities, rather than doing 
the class work that was expected of me. 
I just got attracted to other things, like 
editing and making things. I would walk 
around New York all the time. For some 
people, school is the right environment 
to learn to do that. For me it wasn't. 
PLAYBOY: You came back to Hollywood 
with some seriously dark roles. In Manic, 
you play a teenager who brutalizes anoth- 


I’ve 
experienced 
what it’s like 
togodowna 

rabbit hole with 
pornography. 


er kid with a baseball bat and ends up ina 
psychiatric ward. It was as if you were try- 
ing to shatter your image as a child star. 
GORDON-LEVITT: That was pretty fucking 
intense. Frankly, the director, Jordan 
Melamed, and I didn’t exactly get along. 
I didn’t think it was going to work. I was 
like, “I’m the man. Fuck this fucking 
guy.” [laughs] But to his credit he made 
a movie that I’m enormously proud of. 
Manic is one of the most important mov- 
ies I’ve done. It’s a very heavy drama, 
especially coming right after 3rd Rock. It 
was the movie Gregg Araki saw that made 
him want to put me in Mysterious Skin, 
and that was the movie Rian Johnson saw 
that made him want to put me in Brick. 
Those movies got filmmakers to put me 
in the next round of movies, including 
(500) Days of Summer, which then Chris 
Nolan saw. So Manic was, in many ways, 
the movie that started me on that path. 
PLAYBOY: What did you learn from 
Christopher Nolan? 

GORDON-LEVITT: Be prepared. He would 


show up in these massive movies—The 
Dark Knight Rises, Inception—and just be 
completely ready to roll. He planned 
and worked to make sure he knew ex- 
actly what everybody needed to do that 
day. It’s a privilege to make a living in 
Hollywood, and it’s so great when some- 
one respects the work, respects the other 
people on set. I really value that. 
PLAYBOY: You defied gravity in your fa- 
mous hallway fight scene in Inception. 
How did that work? 

GORDON-LEVITT: Yeah, I loved that be- 
cause I got to do the whole thing myself. 
They built three sets. One was a normal 
hallway. One turned on its side so that 
it became a 10-story tower. They would 
shoot up it and I would hang with my 
feet on what looked like the wall. The 
third set rotated 360 degrees like a wash- 
ing machine. That was the most fun. I 
used to do gymnastics when I was a 
little kid, and the stunt guy I was fight- 
ing against was an Olympic gymnast. We 
really worked to make that scene great. 
PLAYBOY: What do you consider your 
best work? 

GORDON-LEVITT: My measure of how 
much I like my work is how much I'm 
able to change and be someone other 
than myself. I think Looper is probably the 
greatest example of that because I had 
prosthetics on my face. It was three hours 
of makeup every morning to change my 
face—facial structural changes, contacts, 
eyebrows, the whole nine. 

PLAYBOY: Let's move on. In November, 
you and your buds Seth Rogen and 
Evan Goldberg, your co-star and pro- 
ducer from 50/50, are reuniting in The 
Night Before, a comedy about a group of 
childhood best friends who get togeth- 
er over a bunch of drugs for a blowout 
Christmas Eve. Was it just a big cannabis- 
fueled party on set? 

GORDON-LEVITT: I will say it was prob- 
ably the easiest job I've ever done. It 
was a remarkable welcome and contrast 
going from The Walk to shooting again 
with Seth and Evan. The Walk was in 
certain ways the hardest thing I've ever 
done. On a physical level, learning to 
walk on wire, learning French, being in 
every scene of the movie and also oc- 
cupying the headspace of a character 
who's both superfocused and losing his 
mind—it was intense. 

There’s such a thing as trying too 
hard, and with The Night Before 1 thought 
what would be cooler than just showing 
up and being with my friends, making 
each other laugh and having a blast, 
which is exactly what that movie is. Hav- 
ing fun like that is so necessary. You feel 
better, you feel more like yourself, you 
get fresh new ideas. 

PLAYBOY: Is weed a creativity booster 
for you? 

GORDON-LEVITT: It is. When I smoke 
weed I’m more liable to make connec- 
tions I wouldn’t otherwise make. Some- 
times those (continued on page 102) 


нн 9 
Ш UTTE 


S 
= 


NU 


I—  — 


T" 


Upper Class Just Got Lower Priced 


Finally, luxury built for value—not for false status 


nly a few of us are born with silver spoons in our mouths. 

Until Stauer came along, you needed an inheritance to buy 
a timepiece with class and refinement. Not any more. The Stauer 
Magnificat II brings the impeccable quality and engineering 
once found only in the watch collections of the idle rich. If you 
have actually earned your living through intelligence, 
hard work, and perseverance, you will now be 
rewarded with a timepiece of understated class that 
will always be a symbol of refined taste. The striking 
case, finished in luxurious gold, compliments an 
etched ivory-colored dial exquisitely. By using 
advanced computer design and robotics, we have 
been able to drastically reduce the price on this 
precision movement. 


Do you have enough confidence to pay less? Status seekers 
are willing to overpay just to wear a designer name. Not the 
Stauer client. The Magnificat II is built for people who have 
their own good taste and understand the value of their dollar— 
finally, luxury built for confident people. And this doesn't mean 
the rich aren't smart. Quite the contrary, Stauer's clients include 
a famous morning news host, the infamous captain of a certain 
starship, a best actor nominee, a best actor winner and the 
number one rock guitarist of all time. They were all clever 
enough to recognize a spectacular value. 


It took three years of development and $26 million in 
advanced Swiss-built watch-making machinery to 
create the Magnificat II. Look at the interior dials and azure- 
colored hands. Turn the watch over and examine the 27-jeweled 
automatic movement through the exhibition back. When we 
took the watch to George Thomas (the most renowned watch- 
maker and watch historian in America), he disassembled the 


TAKE 
78% OFF 
INSTANTLY! 


When you use your 
INSIDER OFFER CODE The precision-built movement carries a 2 year 


Magnificat II and studied the escapement, balance wheel and 
the rotor. He remarked on the detailed guilloche face, gilt wind- 
ing crown, and the crocodile-embossed leather band. He was 
intrigued by the three interior dials for day, date, and 24-hour 
moon phases. He estimated that this fine timepiece would 
cost over $2,500. We all smiled and told him that the 
Stauer price was less than $90. He was stunned. We 
felt like we had accomplished our task. A truly 
magnificent watch at a truly magnificent price! 


Try the Magnificat II for 60 days and if you are 
not receiving compliments, please return the 
watch for a full refund of the purchase price. 


warranty against defect. If you trust your own 
good taste, the Magnificat II is built for you. 


* 


Stauer Magnificat Il Timepiece— $399" 


50 
Offer Code Price $87*9. S&P SAVE $3112! 


You must use the insider offer code to get our special price. 


1-800-973-3089 
Please use this code when you order to receive your discount. 
Stauer o meso С 


Burnsville, Minnesota 55337 
www.stauer.com 


Rating of A+ 


* Discount for customers who use the offer code versus the original Stauer.com price. 


Smart Luxuries—Surprising Prices” 


Luxurious gold-finished case with exposition back - 27-jeweled automatic movement - Croc-embossed band fits wrists 634"-8Y2" - Water-resistant to 3 ATM 


THE E 


— 


PERFECT 
WEAPON 


Microchipped guns. 3-D-printed 
firearms. Is technology the 
savior of the gun industry or 

its most dangerous enemy? 


arly one June afternoon, Cody Wilson, 
a bearded 27-year-old wearing khakis 
and a pink shirt, walks into the office 
of a dusty gun range on the outskirts of 
Liberty Hill, Texas and casually greets 
the clerk, a tall man with a ball cap, a 
salt-and-pepper goatee and a rawhide 
tan. Hanging overhead is a sign with an 
image of a pistol and the warning that, 
in case of robbery, the police will not be 
involved. Another reads GUARDED THREE 
NIGHTS A WEEK, YOU GUESS WHICH. There's 
also a plaque with a quote frequently 
and falsely attributed to Abraham Lin- 
coln (clergyman William J.H. Boetcker 


actually said it in 1916): “You cannot 
strengthen the weak by weakening the 
strong." It's a statement Wilson would 
disagree with. 

The clerk asks how business is going. 

It's going well, Wilson explains: His 
latest product, the Ghost Gunner, is a 
$1,500 machine that helps anyone with 
basic technical know-how to build an 
unlimited number of untraceable assault 
rifles, regardless of criminal record or 
mental-health status. He has shipped 
about 300 so far and has received orders 
for 700 more. “I’m suing Obama too,” 
he says. The clerk has been following the 


story in the news, but the store’s lone cus- 
tomer, a squat man with a white handlebar 
mustache, is caught off guard. 

“He’s the one who started, pretty much, 
the 3-D printing for guns,” the clerk 
explains. The customer recognizes him: 
Cody Wilson, radical libertarian, crypto- 
anarchist and one of Wired magazine’s 
15 most dangerous people in the world. 
Two years before, when Wilson released 
online the digital blueprints for the Lib- 
erator, the world’s first 3-D-printed gun, 
the State Department threatened him 
with prosecution for arms exporting. In 
May, Wilson filed a lawsuit arguing that, 


BY WILLIAM WHEELER 


as digital code, the blueprints constitute 
speech protected by the First Amend- 
ment, beyond the censure of federal 
authorities. “I finally get to sue the feds 
because they overplayed their hand,” he 
says, smiling. 

The man with the mustache nods 
supportively, clearly impressed. “Well, 
hopefully something comes of that,” he says. 

The range is closed, but Wilson has 
driven all the way from Austin expecting 
to be an exception. When he asks if he can 
at least pay a range fee, the clerk tells him 
it’s on the house. 

Wilson walks out to the parking lot and 


51 


52 


bu ' 


EC o == ш 


stops at his car, an ancient BMW with a 
crumpled hood. He kicks off his Bearpaw 
slippers and changes them for a pair of 
black steel-toed work boots, tucking the 
cuffs of his chinos inside. “Yep, those are 
some good old boys in there,” he says. 
They like him, but that’s not a unanimous 
opinion here. “Half of the red-staters, 
man, are full-on for this security state,” 
he says. “They love the professional cul- 
ture of the military and police.” Wilson’s 
efforts to put a gun into the hands of any- 
one who wants one have made him a hero 
in some pro-gun circles, a pariah in oth- 
ers. But he’s more than comfortable on 
the fringe. The last time he was here, one 
of the rifle line coaches, a Vietnam vet, 
told him his time on the range was up. 
By Wilson’s watch he still had two min- 
utes left. So he refused. “He threw his 
truck in reverse and tried to run me over 
to intimidate me,” Wilson tells me. “He 
didn’t like that I was completely comfort- 
able telling him to fuck off.” 

At one end of the range an old-timer 
sits at a firing bench, cradling what looks 
to be a .50-caliber rifle fitted with a scope. 


1. A worker tests the electric circuit of an Armatix ¡P1 pistol at the company’s headquarters in Germany. 
2. Cody Wilson and the 3-D-printed Liberator. 3. A prototype of the Armatix iPl smart gun. 


Intermittently, a fiery, thunderous boom! 
bellows from its muzzle. Wilson walks to 
the middle of the line and sets down his 
gear. Beneath his feet a sea of spent brass 
casings carpets the floor. 

Downrange the land slopes gently up 
into a dusty plain speckled with green, 
the legacy of devastating floods that 
washed across Texas just a few weeks 
before. The middle ground consists of 
four berms at various distances. The far- 
thest, a thousand yards away, contains a 


“Key to the appeal of firearms is the sense 
of freedom they give you. When you pull 
the trigger, the bullet comes out.” 


line of red targets that are barely visible 
without optical aids. 

Wilson takes out a plastic bag and 
starts to assemble a trigger mechanism, 
building it around a $60 piece of alumi- 
num called a lower receiver. A gun has 
many parts, but the only part on which 
the federal government stamps a serial 
number—“the gun,” in legal terms—is 
this frame, around which the other parts 
of an assault rifle are built. As with the rest 
of the parts, any amateur gunsmith can 
buy a nearly finished (and unregistered) 
receiver, then drill a few strategically 
placed holes to build an untraceable 
weapon. What Wilson's latest product— 
a computer-numerical-controlled milling 
device called the Ghost Gunner—does is 
put this ability in the hands of even the 
most unskilled novice. Earlier in the day, 
he used a Ghost Gunner to finish this 
lowerreceiver, (continued on page 108) 


"nn ЖТ n 


nu ҮҮ! 


N 


“For Pete’s sake, woman! What's eating you now?!” 


15 THE CRISP DAYS OF FALL 
CLOSE IN, ENJOY ONE LAST 
SUNSHINY HOUR WITH MODEL 
POLINA PUTILOVA, WHOSE 
CAREFREE DALLIANCE IS 
SURE TO KEEP YOU FEELING 
WARM ALL SEASON LONG 


EFORE 
UNSET 


Photography by 


KESLER TRAN 


62 


Jackey Neyman Jones had 
never been so excited before. 
The seven-year-old had 
spent the summer shooting 
her first feature film; tonight 
was the premiere. As the 
lights dimmed in the cavern- 
ous 860-seat Capri Theater 
in El Paso, she settled in 
next to her parents, staring 
saucer-eyed at the screen. 

After a curiously long 
driving montage, Jones 
finally appeared on camera, 
cradling an uncoopera- 
tive dog that kept slipping 
out of her arms. When she 
opened her mouth to utter her first line, 
something odd happened: A middle-aged 
woman’s voice came out, dubbed in and 
horribly out of sync with the footage. 

The audience burst into laughter. Jones 
burst into tears. 

The movie, Manos: The Hands of Fate, 
was written, directed and produced by 
insurance salesman Harold Warren in the 
summer of 1966, an era when virtually 
no one was making independent films. 
While the average studio production cost 
roughly $3 million, Hal Warren raised 
$19,000 and shot the entire movie with 
the absurdly named Filmo 70 camera, a 
handheld device that was spring-wound, 
could not record sound and could shoot 
only 33 seconds of film at a time. He 
promised a local theater troupe, of which 
he was a member, a share of the profits 
if the movie did well. The movie did not 
do well. The only cast or crew member to 
receive compensation was Jones. She got 
a 50-pound bag of dog food. 

“And a bike,” Jones says. 

A flimsy horror story centered on a 
vacationing family who run afoul of a 
polygamist cult leader and his henchman, 


Manos played a handful of drive-in the- 
aters before slipping into obscurity. 
Decades later, Mystery Science Theater 3000, 
a television show specializing in the mock- 
ery of misguided films, unearthed the 
movie like a fossilized turd. The 1993 epi- 
sode devoted to Manos became an instant 
cult classic. Fans marveled at the seemingly 
endless footage of Warren driving around 
the desert, the inability of the Filmo 70 to 


1. The Master, played by Tom 
Neyman, wearing his signature 
cape. 2. Harold Warren, the 
mastermind behind the movie, 
as Michael. 3. The Master’s 
brides wrestle. 4. William Jen- 
nings portrayed the sheriff—and 
served as Warren's legal coun- 
sel. 5. John Reynolds as Torgo, 
the Master's twitchy assistant. 


focus and frame shots at the same time 
and the utterly bizarre performance of 
John Reynolds as the character Torgo, 
portrayed as a twitchy, knobby-kneed 
groundskeeper while Reynolds himself 
was often baked out of his face on LSD. 
“It seemed like it was maybe a crime 
against humanity, but you couldn't be sure,” 
says MST3K writer Frank Conniff, who had 
pulled Manos (continued on page 118) 


y 


Ee o 
EPSE 
== = 

: == 
— 
ГМА 


хо шш 


a; 


f 


EU 


| 


ш 


4 
- 


! 
1 


A ай 


uy 


| 


| 


à ”—_ = 


Da 


“You're no Adonis, Al, but you sure know how to relieve the monotony.” 


63 


64 


BY NEAL GABLER 
PHOTOGRAPHY BY 
MARK MANN 


r. James Andrews is worried. You can’t see 
it because his face is placid, and you can’t 
hear it because his voice, with a sweet Lou- 
isiana drawl, is always low and even. But 
he awoke in the middle of the night, fret- 
ting, which isn’t unusual before his operating 
days on Tuesdays and Thursdays—what he calls 
his “Super Bowls.” He knows he has some “real 
hard cases,” as he puts it, “not snap cases,” and 
he kept running them through his mind again 
and again, thinking about what he would do. 
He worries because he knows how much is at 
stake in each of them: quite possibly an athletic 


YOU'RE A 
SUPERSTAR 
ATHLETE 
WITH A 
SERIOUS 
INJURY. 
THERE'S ONE 
SUPERSTAR 
SURGEON 
YOU CALL 
FIRST: 

DR. JAMES 
ANDREWS 


career, since all Andrews’s patients are serious 
athletes, about one third of them high schoolers 
(most of them Division I prospects), one third 
collegians and one third professionals. 

Earlier that Monday morning, as he does еу- 
ery Monday and Wednesday on his clinic days, 
Andrews had flitted from one exam room to 
another, meeting a dozen or so patients and siz- 
ing them up for possible surgery the next day. 
(He doesn’t wait.) There was Kody Winner, a 
14-year-old Little League pitcher from War- 
ner Robins, Georgia. After winning a regional 
championship game against Alabama, Winner 


66 


began to feel pain in his elbow “like 
somebody stabbed you in the arm” and 
thought he might need Tommy John 
surgery, named after the former major 
league pitcher whose ulnar collateral lig- 
ament (UCL) in his elbow was replaced 
after snapping. (Andrews determined 
Winner didn’t need the surgery; he just 
needed to stop pitching until the growth 
plates in his arm closed.) There were a 
Detroit Lions rookie and a young run- 
ning back from the University of Geor- 
gia, both of whom had torn the anterior 
cruciate ligament (ACL) in their knees; 
a major league pitcher who had already 
undergone a Tommy John and was hav- 
ing problems with the ulnar nerve that 
ran over the elbow; and a former major 
league flamethrower who was trying to 
work his way back after three surgeries. 

And then there were the hard cases 
that would keep Andrews up that night: 
Brian Henninger, who had come out 
of nowhere to finish 10th in the 1995 
Masters golf tournament and 
who, at the age of 51, was 
playing on the Senior PGA 
circuit when the radial col- 
lateral ligament in his elbow 
gruesomely tore; a 19-year- 
old minor league pitching 
star who had one Tommy 
John surgery and then rup- 
tured the new ligament, pull- 
ing his muscle clear off the 
bone during warm-ups; and 
Curtis Beach, a recent Duke 
grad and Olympic decathlete 
hopeful who had torn his 
UCL and whose surgery was 
complicated by the fact that 
he had chipped his elbow 
back in sixth grade and that 
broken spot of bone is where Andrews 
would normally have attached the graft. 
All of them had come to the Andrews 
Institute in Gulf Breeze, Florida for the 
same reason. As one of them put it, “I 
feel if there is one person in the whole 
world who could fix me, this is the guy.” 

Andrews would never say that of him- 
self. He says he’s “just an ordinary or- 
thopedic surgeon,” and when it comes 
to routine surgeries like an ACL or UCL 
repair, he often tells agents their athletes 
can get treatment just as good somewhere 
else. Moreover, he says that “if you oper- 
ate on the right athlete, a high athlete, 
they'll make you look pretty good as a 
physician.” And as a pioneer promoter of 
rigorous, doctor-supervised rehabilitation 
for athletes, he is quick to credit physical 
therapists for successful outcomes. 

But you have only to look at the hall- 
way walls in his new clinic to see he 
isn’t your ordinary orthopedic surgeon. 
Those walls are covered with signed jer- 
seys and autographed photos of a veri- 
table hall of fame of athletes who have 
been Andrews’s patients: Peyton and 
Eli Manning, Roger Clemens, Bobby 
Orr, Charles Barkley, Drew Brees, 


Brett Favre, Bo Jackson, Jack Nicklaus, 
Emmitt Smith, Bruce Smith, Scottie Pip- 
pen, Albert Pujols, Robert Griffin III, 
even Michael Jordan, to name just a few 
of the thousands of professional athletes 
he has treated. If there is a center of the 
sports-medicine universe, Andrews is it. 
Sitting just beyond Pensacola Bay, the 
Andrews Institute is 127,000 square feet 
with a salmon-colored brick facade in a 
modern Floridian style. It has 26 physi- 
cians on staff, but there is no doubt that 
Andrews is the draw. Ninety percent of 
his patients come from beyond a 200-mile 
radius, some from overseas; a Japanese 
baseball player would be arriving in a 
few days. Player agents call him (“I know 
most of their voices”), team trainers call 
him, parents call him, players call him. 
Doctors call him for advice. He is a medi- 
cal rock star. Jay Vines, the administrator 
of the institute, has known Andrews for 
more than 25 years. He says that when 
the two of them entered the packed floor 
at the annual meeting of the American 
Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons and 
the other doctors recognized Andrews, 
“it was like the parting of the Red Sea.” 
But here’s the thing about Andrews: 


If you didn’t know he was the most 
famous sports surgeon in the world, you 
would never guess it by meeting him. 
You might have assumed that at 73 he 
would be formal, even stilted. You might 
look at the long silver hair swept back 
on his head or the neatly pressed beige 
glen-plaid jacket color-coordinated with 
a yellow tie and brown trousers or note 
the courtly bearing and think he was a 
remote eminence. 

You would be wrong. Andrews is folksy. 
He has that Southern accent of light mo- 
lasses, and he ends sentences with “man,” 
as in “We’re going to do this, man,” or 
“Mama,” as in “Here’s the problem, 


Mama,” when talking to a patient’s 
mother. He winks and pokes and joshes. 
“Yankees are sort of like hemorrhoids,” 
he tells a Northern visitor. “If they go back 
up, they’re okay. But if they go down and 
stay, they’re a pain in the ass.” He eats 
a plate of KFC during his lunch break. 
He pulls a battered black leather suitcase 
on wheels behind him, bulging with his 
files. He teases a Tennessee associate who 
tells him his university signed a quarter- 
back also sought by Alabama by needling, 
“Who told you that Alabama wanted 
him? His mama?” He seems relaxed and 
affable. He makes you feel as if you have 
known him your entire life. 


1. An operating room at the 
Andrews Institute in Gulf Breeze, 
Florida, a $50 million facility that 
is the nerve center for cutting- 
edge orthopedic surgery. 2. The 
team doctor for Auburn, Andrews 
always wears the school's 2013 
SEC championship ring. 3. A 
lineup of success stories. 4. At 

: 73, Andrews shows no signs 

of slowing down. 5. Charles 
Barkley is another happy patient. 
6. Shoulder surgery on Roger 
Clemens early in Andrews's career 
made the doctor famous among 
athletes and changed his life. 


But you wonder: How did some- 
one from the Louisiana backwoods— 
someone who began his practice as a 
physician in the flyspeck of Columbus, 
Georgia—become arguably the most 
important man in sports, the man ex- 
pected to save careers and even entire 
franchises? Then again, once you know 
his story, you wonder if he would have 
become that important if he hadn't grown 
up in the small-town South. 


The first thing you ought to know about 
James Andrews the practitioner is that 
athletes don't beat a path to Pensacola 


just because he's an excellent surgeon. 
Yes, Andrews's surgical skill is legendary. 
Doctors come from all over the world to 
see him operate. But there are plenty 
of good surgeons, even famous ones. 
Andrews's gift is his bedside manner. He 
acts like a country doctor. He has a lot of 
patients, but he doesn't rush anyone. He 
spends 45 minutes to an hour in the ex- 
amination room. And Andrews not only 
spends time, he explains. He holds up 
the X-rays and talks through the prob- 
lem and every possible option. As Kody 
Winner's father says, ^He spoke in hu- 
man language versus doctor language." 

Perhaps even more important, 
Andrews not only talks, he listens. He 
emphasizes the importance of “reading” 
his patients. “Different athletes have dif- 
ferent personalities," he says. "You have 
to think the way they think." He takes 
this idea so seriously that back in the 
1980s, when he was in Columbus and 
heard the Columbus Astros were going 
to relocate their local Double-A farm 
team, for which he was team physician, 
he went down to the bank, secured a 
$40,000 loan and bought the team him- 
self. He wound up painting the locker 
rooms, and some nights he and his wife 
even ran the concessions. But the reason 
he bought the team was because being 
around the players was the best way to 
learn what they were thinking, which he 
thought made him a better surgeon. 

Learning about the players is also the 
reason he's the team physician for the 
Washington Redskins, on whose side- 
line you can find him every week dur- 
ing the NFL season. (He takes no salary 
because he says it would be a conflict 
of interest to be paid by the team while 
serving the players.) “If you're not 
there on the sidelines with a pro foot- 
ball game,” he says, “you don't under- 
stand the lingo, you don't understand 
the psychology, you don't understand 
the pressures or anything." 

But the understanding goes beyond 
knowing how an athlete thinks or feels. 
Athlete after athlete on whom he has 
worked will tell you that what really 
makes Andrews so special is how in- 
vested he is in them emotionally, to the 
point that every time he watches Adrian 
Peterson get tackled after his ACL re- 
covery, Andrews silently begs him to get 
up. He cares enough that he will drop 
everything if an athlete needs him, cares 
enough that he has always treated local 
high school athletes for free if they don't 
have insurance, even though an Andrews 
surgery costs in the vicinity of $40,000. 

And hereis the second thing you ought 
to know about Andrews's doctoring: The 
phone is as important an instrument to 
him as the scalpel. Everybody seems to 
have Andrews's cell phone number. He 
gets a hundred calls a day—not just from 
those agents and players and trainers 
and fellow physicians but from former 
patients, such as (continued on page 114) 


67 


N ENTHUSIASTIC 
Tank AT THE LIFE OF 
LARRY DAVID'S FOIL, 
CONAN O'BRIEN'S ROOM- 

MATE AND STEPHEN 
COLBERTS “FRIEND 


1 

Q1 оу You're just 
starting the third season of 
The Goldbergs, which was a hit 
in a year when most fresh- 
man sitcoms were slaugh- 
tered. Why do you think this 
one survived? 

GARLIN: I refuse to analyze 
that. [/aughs] I don't want 
5 to figure that out. And by 
dim SN | the way, I don’t think I even 
en | know. I know the writing’s 
good—lI think it's a really 
good show—but I have no 
idea. I think it has to be that 
people feel good watching 
it. I can’t figure out that. I 
don’t try to figure out why 
I’m funny; I don’t want to 
figure out anything. I don’t 
want to figure out why we 


NASA 


м Tae tastes 
t just tl 


AV RON M there anything 
you do want to figure out? 
_ Are there any mysteries of life 
A you want to solve, or are you 
Hy . Just content with all the infor- 
Г ` "mation that's available? 
op At this point in my 
I'm content with all the 
A | information that's available. 


J lif 


PLAYBOY: There's nothing 
‚you wonder about? 

| GARLIN: I'd like to know 
a little bit more about the 
Kennedy assassination. 
That’s about it. 


Q4 

PLAYBOY: Do you have any 
theories about it? 

GARLIN: I have no theo- 
ries. See, there you go. Even 
though I'd like to know, I’m 
not active in figuring it out. 


5 
PLAYBOY: Why do you think 
we're so fixated on the 1980s, 
the era in which The Goldbergs 
takes place? 
GARLIN: Well, I think the 
1970s and 1980s are very 
similar. We were goofy then. 


I think America stopped 
being fun and goofy sometime 
around the 1990s. 


6 
Qe Bus Don't you think 
that in the 2040s people will 
look back on today and think 
about us the way we think of 
the 1970s? 
GARLIN: No. I don't see how 
they possibly could. We're just 
rehashing everything, so they'll 
look back at the 1970s and 
1980s as the last original eras. 


PLAYBOY: You talk in your 
stand-up about how your wife 
might not actually be your 
soul mate because you don't 
think your soul mate would 
be as disappointed in you as 
she is. A lot of comedians say 
they fictionalize a version of 
their wives for their stand- 
up. Is your stand-up wife like 
your real wife? 

GARLIN: Oh yeah, that's my 
wife. She's not my soul mate, 


but I love her. I don’t 
know if soul mates really 
exist. What is a soul mate? 
I don’t even know what 
that means. My wife is my 
mate and she’s soulful, so 
we'll leave it at that. 


Qs 


PLAYBOY: You made some 


pretty impressive friends 


on your way up. When you 
were at Second City in Chi- 


cago you worked the ticket 


booth with a young upstart 


named Stephen Colbert, 
and you roomed with an 
unknown Conan O’Brien. 
GARLIN: I have no anec- 
dotes about Stephen at all. 
He was just a guy I liked. 
I discovered his brilliance 


only later on. I am not very 
close with Stephen Colbert. 


I've known him for a long 
time, and I adore him—I 
guess that's the best way 
to put it. We're strong ac- 
quaintances. I don't know 
how to even explain it. 


Q9 

PLAYBOY: Maybe just 
friends? 

GARLIN: I mean, I 
don't hang out with him. 
There should be a word 
in between friend and 
acquaintance. 


010 

PLAYBOY: But you were 
close with Conan. 
GARLIN: Conan was also 
an extraordinarily funny 
person to spend time 
with. But the idea that he 
would one day host a talk 
show, I never saw that. 
And what’s ironic about 


66 


IHAVE MORE 
ANXIETY 
ABOUT GOING 
TO BED AT 
NIGHT THAN 
I DO ABOUT 
GOING 
ONSTAGE. 


99 


that is we used to have a 
fake talk show in our liv- 
ing room where he did a 
great George Takei—you 
know, Sulu on Star Trek. 
We did a show called Great 
Wild Blue Yonder With Your 
Host George Takei. He was 
George Takei and George 
Takei had two guests: me 
and Adam West, because I 
do a real good Adam West 
impression. And he would 
ask us questions. We'd do 
it almost every day. But I 
never thought he’d really 
be a talk-show host. 


011 
PLAYBOY: You were one of 
just a couple of comedians 
who refused to go on Jay 
Leno’s show after he took his 
spot back from Conan. 
GARLIN: Looking back, it 
was kind of stupid of me, 

but Conan’s my friend and 

I didn’t like what they did to 
him. I just said, “I don’t want 
to be part of this anymore.” 


Q12 

PLAYBOY: Were you wor- 
ried about how it might 
hurt you? 

GARLIN: Nope, nope, 
nope. It’s not hard to take 

a stand like that. It’s easier 
than people think. And I 
think the only two people 
who did it were me and Tom 
Hanks. But I gotta tell you, 
even if I had never done The 
Tonight Show, it wasn’t going 
to affect my career. 


Q13 

PLAYBOY: Were you sad to 
see David Letterman go? 
GARLIN: Here's how sad 

I was: I couldn't watch any 
of the last two months of his 


show. I couldn't watch, and 

I didn't. I didn't even watch 
the last show. I couldn't —he 
was one of the main reasons 
I became a comedian. I 
became a comedian when his 
12:30 show had just started. 
I'm crazy proud of the fact 
that I did both stand-up and 
panel on his show. For me 
there's a great satisfaction in 
that, but it's still too painful 
to think about. 


Q14 

PLAYBOY: You've said you 

suffer from anxiety and de- 

pression. You seem pretty 

laid-back. Do you get ner- 

vous before you go onstage? 
(continued on page 112) 


2 
o 
z 
E 
< 
= 
5 
ü 
[s] 
< 
@ 
g 
E 
< 
z 
fr] 
б 
o 
> 
& 
€ 
2 
ш 
& 
> 
4 
=) 
> 
a 
о 
2 
= 
© 
© 
& 
© 
= 
o 
2 
a 
[5] 
< 
E 
lo 
2 
© 
< 
= 
ш 
n 
E 
3 
& 
< 
g 
< 
& 
3 
€ 
> 
a 
zi 
& 
т 
5 
> 
а 
© 
2 
3 
> 
E 
a 


2 
ш 
p 
=| 
» 
о 
D 
o 
о 
[4 
© 
> 
ш 
2 
[s] 
> 
о 
> 
ao 
9 
£ 
a 
> 
[4 
n 
a 
[o] 
¢ 
a 


Love in the Dark 


ge 


"FANCY 


q HARDER, HARDER Д 
| ANO TAGRZ | 


NK rng ep AND HS So PARK 
EON : Notar AND MCS o Hot tok 
P THATGUY ICE WAN Y HOTIE 
Welly STAND THE DIFFERENCE. 4 
DIH KHZ MEANWHILE 


4 
TY SMOG A | 

QUICK СІК АР 

BE RIGHT With Уо. 


T cui 


WEW, UNC YOU MRE THE 
SVASHVIGHT ON US, „, 4 


TAK N 


ИУ AN WHY TA 
Wht OURE DONE AREN'T 7ol Poly 6 КОЛ 
| AEREAS \ hi id 
E: am Ay iT AT HOHEZ MY WIFE. 


UNAWARE, ur CES 


iss October Ana Cheri is 

a woman who wants to 

change you for the better. 

It’s in her bones to help 

strangers become better 

versions of themselves, 
but unlike many self-described gurus, 
this radiantly sweet brunette has the 
know-how, the vibrancy and the fortitude 
to succeed in such a lofty endeavor. 

An accomplished print model for 
almost a decade, the incredibly toned 
Ana has won multiple National Phy- 
sique Committee titles (in the bikini 
division, of course). She owns a 
private-membership gym and is earn- 
ing certification to be a personal 
trainer, and as a motivational speaker 
she has doled out advice on positive 
thinking and self-worth to crowds of 
hundreds, from Miami to Las Vegas. 

If that’s not enough, this rising media 
star makes it a point to dispense good 
vibes and lifestyle tips to her 3 million 
Instagram and Twitter followers every 
day. For the record, that's more follow- 
ers than Game of Thrones's Emilia Clarke 
or Dancing With the Stars's Julianne 
Hough has, but celebrity status hasn't 
gone to Ana's head. She sti r 
with her fans, a personal 
abandoned by many in t 


“It’s hugely satisfying when I see 
people accomplish their journeys, 
fitness or otherwise,” she says. “When 
I know others are happy, it’s a kind of 
gratification unlike any other. That's 
why I do what I do. I want a career 
where I can make people's lives better.” 
Next, Ana has her eyes on making it to 
the big screen as a fierce Scarlett-O'Hara- 
meets-Goldie-Hawn-type leading lady. 
As to why Ana chose to pose for PLAYBOY, 
she says, “I grew up thinking the women 
in PLAYBOY were so beautiful. I wanted 
to be them, and I'm a go-getter. This i 
me reminding the world that all women’s 
bodies are beautiful. Appreciate them, — 
love them and respect them." 


Photography by 


MICHAEL BERNARD 


CUI 


Miss October is already a star in her own right —and 
this fitness fiend wants to make you shine just as brightly 


nr. _ XA 


` 115344525 ^o o om a 


.or 8 | 
канау з 
азе, 

tele k 


. = 


PLAYMATE DATA SHEET 


Wg AME DIAM s 
sun oM КОН 2 004 EE су > Wr: T 
scree, m Шү Кл E ar A 
BIRTH DATE: 05 llo Sb BIRTHPLACE: Anaheim Califonia 
amo Еа аа m become So cessful 


AD ONE AY ECO O SUGEEST _ 
it runs iele, leaving me wih more Hime to travel 
ERN NOE 7 а 

зрео о colo (wer 0005 umotiad. 
ruRNorrs: Bad Manners in eneval= | will 123v. 


Al 


TE 

outdoor sport. tvera We lost counts. 

NERD sue; \ love Halloween and aver yng sci-fi. Sailor bupiter, 

Womdor Women, Maria till = Wwe dressed as nem all. 

WHAT’S NEXT: Um CUIEWIINA Sch OW yon 
the riant (ola Dar Screen deba). 


TM 


A Shite o Newer! 


Palma iS Vie ^ Ute 1s beter in 
4o Nappi ress. a bikin). c 


PLAYBOY’S PARTY JOKES 


During the Republican presidential debate, 
Donald Trump was asked for his views on 
same-sex marriage. “I believe that marriage is 
a sacred bond,” he said, “between a man and a 
woman he will replace in six years.” 


How do you say “Fuck you” in politicalspeak? 
“Trust me.” 


The younger generation is so tied to technol- 
ogy that the only time they experience the 
outdoors is when they’re camped outside the 
Apple Store, waiting for the new iPhone. 


What's the easiest way to brainwash politicians? 
Give them enemas. 


After a woman gave birth to her baby, her 
doctor stood solemnly at her bedside. “I have 
something I must tell you,” he said. 

“What’s wrong?” the alarmed mother asked. 

“Your newborn is a hermaphrodite,” replied 
the doctor. 

“What’s that?” asked the mother. 

“It means your baby has both male and 
female parts,” the doctor said. 

“Oh my God, that's wonderful!” the woman 
exclaimed. “You mean it has a penis and a brain?” 


Our Unabashed Dictionary defines blow job as 
a “great head start to intercourse.” 


A woman accidentally crashed her car into a 
van because she was using a vibrator while driv- 
ing. She is said to be in “stable and extremely 
relaxed” condition. The driver of the van said 
he never saw her coming. 


Dont you hate those spam e-mails that try to 
sell you penis enhancers?” a guy remarked to 
his co-worker. 

“Definitely,” the co-worker said. “I’ve asked 
my wife to stop forwarding them to me.” 


A man was having trouble performing in bed. 
“Oh, don’t worry. It happens to a lot of guys,” 
his girlfriend assured him. 

He spat back, “First of all, who are these 
other guys? And secondly, if it’s happening to 
more than one of us, don’t you think it could 
be your fault?” 


Surprise sex is ideal to wake up to, unless 
you're in prison. 


A mother superior told two new nuns that they 
had to paint their room without getting their 
habits dirty. One nun said to the other, “Hey, 
let's take off all our clothes, fold them up and 
lock the door.” The other agreed, so they dis- 
robed and began to paint the room. 

Soon they heard a knock at the door. “Who 
is it?” one of the nuns asked. 

“Blind man!” the voice said. 

The two looked at each other. “He's blind,” 
one of them pointed out. “He can't see. What 
could it hurt?” They opened the door and let 
him into the room. 

The man entered and said, “Hey, nice tits! 
Where do you want me to hang these blinds?” 


A lawyer’s son wanted to follow in his father’s 
footsteps. He went to law school, graduated 
with honors and joined his father’s firm. At 
the end of his first day there, he ran excit- 
edly into his father's office. “Guess what,” he 
exclaimed. “On my first day I’ve settled that 
accident case you’ve been working on for the 
past four years.” 

“You idiot!” said the father. “What do you 
think paid your way through law school?” 


My ече 


After undergoing a surgical procedure, a 
patient said to the recovery room nurse, “Dur- 
ing the operation I heard the surgeon use a 
four-letter word that upset me.” 

“Can you tell me which word so I can include 
it in my report?” asked the nurse. 

The patient replied, “Oops!” 


A husband and wife were sitting in their liv- 
ing room when the husband suddenly said, 
“Honey, just so you know, I never want to 
live in a vegetative state, dependent on some 
machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever 
happens, just pull the plug.” 

She got up, unplugged the television and 
threw out all his beer. 


Send your jokes to Playboy Party Jokes, 9346 Civic 
Center Drive, Beverly Hills, California 90210, or 
by e-mail to jokes@playboy.com. 


“When I'm depressed, I shop. When I’m happy, I shop. When I'm angry, I shop. 
But when I’m horny, I still screw.” 


SINCE THE DAWN OF THE GREAT KEG TAP AND THE 
INVENTION OF THE RED SOLO CUP, THE PERFECT PAIRING OF 
PARTYING AND SCHOOLING HAS EVOLVED INTO AN ADVANCED 
SOCIAL AND TECHNOLOGICAL SPECTACLE. HERE ARE THE 
TOP 10 COLLEGES WITH A HIGHER DEGREE IN MODERN REVELRY, 
PLUS A LOOK AT RECENT CAMPUS HEADLINES AND THE 
APPS THAT ARE CHANGING STUDENT CULTURE 


[И Ато e , 
84 TRAIN 


AK ENSE) 


OHIO 
UNIVERSITY 


Sorry, Miami University, but OU’s year- 

round antics are hard to trump. Athens 
is home to one of the country’s largest Hal- 
loween block parties—a drunken fete so epic it 
attracts such sponsors as the infamous caffein- 
ated alcohol Four Loko. Court Street, which 
connects the campus to Athens’s dining district, 
is a barhopper’s dream: The tiny half-mile 
stretch boasts 18 bars. And thanks to statewide 
decriminalization of marijuana possession, stu- 
dents frequently toke up at the appropriately 
named Bong Hill. The debauchery escalates 
further at #Fest, OU’s take on Electric Daisy 
Carnival, where students double-fist Solo cups 
while bouncing to the sounds of Diplo, Wiz 
Khalifa and Kendrick Lamar. 


UNIVERSITY 
of IOWA 


> When the 2014 
Princeton Review 
knocked the University 


set their sights on re- 
claiming the throne. 
The biggest enablers 
have always been lowa 
City’s bars, which grant 
entry to anyone 19 and 
over—but only until 10 
P.M. Then, last year the 


Midwest, found a legal 
loophole: If an establish- 
ment declares itself an 
“entertainment venue,” 
all ages are welcome 
until closing time. The 
resulting evidence of the 
Union’s Halloween bash 


ILLUSTRATIONS BY GREG KLETSEL 


of lowa from the number Union Bar, home of the 
one party slot, students stickiest floor in the 


is enough to make a 
PLAYBOY editor blush. 


TULANE 
UNIVERSITY 


If anybody knows 
how to party, it’s 
the city of New 
Orleans. When 
most colleges are 
cracking down, 
Tulane continues 
to rise above 
the rest. Why? 
Because it has 
a 140-year-old 
off-campus party 
that’s still thriving, 
and we don't see 
any signs that it’s 
slowing down. 
We're talking 
about Mardi Gras, 
but even in the 
off-season, you'll 
find spirited 
students strolling 
the French 
Quarter, where a 
notorious open- 
container policy 
allows shenanigans 
to happen year- 
round. And to that 
we say, laissez les 

bons temps rouler. 


been said before about the 
beaches and bikinis, but FSU 
students throw it down hard in 
Tallahassee. Booze is plentiful 
and cheap, with specials 

every night. At the beloved 
Bullwinkle's Saloon, a Thirsty 
Moose Card purchased each 
semester offers bottomless drinks 
four nights a week—you know, 
for the frugal college student. 


FLORIDA 
STATE 
UNIVERSITY 


The Seminoles have 

one of the nation’s top 
football teams, the hottest 
sorority girls and the craziest 
spring breaks. Maybe it’s all 


85 


86 


BUZZ-WORTHY 


OR BUZZKILL? 
OUR COLLEGE 
LIKES AND 
DISLIKES 


Ask Me About 
My Beard 


> Dudes at the 

University of Michigan 
grew out their stubble as 
part of a campus-wide 
No Shave November 

campaign to get 
students talking about 

sexual consent. 


Kinky Trojans 
> USC launched a 
student-run BDSM club 
that aims to create a 
safe space for discussing 
kinks and fetishes. 


What What 
(in the Butt) 


> As part of its annual 
Sex Week, Harvard 
offered instruction on 
the dos and don'ts of 
entering through the 
back door. 


Pm Shmacked 


> The online series, 
which exploits over-the- 
top college carousing 
for YouTube views and 
ad dollars, perpetuates 
unsafe partying 
standards and instigates 
police crackdowns on 
campuses across 
the nation. 


Tasteless Beer 


> A Pennsylvania 
brewery released a lager 
honoring the NCAA’s 
winningest coach, Joe 
Paterno, with his face 
featured on the can. 
Although proceeds go 
to charity, paying tribute 
to a man who helped 
cover up a sex-abuse 
scandal is unpalatable. 


Time for 
Deportation 


> The Fiji fraternity at 
the University of Texas 
threw a Border Patrol 
party, which somehow 
did not violate 
university rules. 


UNIVERSITY 
of ILLINOIS 


Like Iowa, Illinois offers 

a similar platter of 
partying (gargantuan Greek 
life; legal bar entry at 19) with 
some extra cultural perks. The 
Pygmalion Festival has a music 
lineup (Run the Jewels, Zola 
Jesus, Tune-Yards) that rivals 
SXSW, and bars such as the 
Highdive and the Canopy Club 
host the best acts that swing 
through Chicago. But come 
March, all hell breaks loose for 
Unofficial Saint Patrick’s Day, 
when thousands of students 
skip class to start drinking at 
dawn—and the streets are 
dyed green with vomit. 


7# — SYRACUSE 
— — UNIVERSITY 


Ь Last year, after the 
Princeton Review 
named Syracuse its 
preeminent party 
school, university 


UNIVERSITY of TEXAS 


We all know about Austin’s Dirty Sixth, the 
thoroughfare that gets overtaken by soused SXSW 
attendees every year. While Sixth Street is still 
the standby for the young and rowdy, Rainey 
Street is the go-to for upperclassmen. You'll find 
UT’s finest along a row of historic homes now 
converted into the city’s coolest bars and cocktail 
lounges. Still not convinced that Texas does it best? 
Longhorns can legally go topless in public. Austin: 
the right to bear arms and the right to bare it all. 


officials cracked down 
and banned carousing 
at Castle Court, a 
popular parking-lot 
party spot. But that only 
inspired Orange-bloods 
to rebel with a cause. 
Music events such as 
Mayfest and Juice Jam 


ballooned, school spirit 
kept Carrier Dome 
packed, coeds chugged 
free beer at Faegan’s 
Pub and Phi Psi’s 
“Heaven and Hell” party 
remained the most 
exclusive ticket in town 
on Halloween. 


UNIVERSITY of WISCONSIN 


> When it comes to Madison, we'll say 

it again: Beer, cheese and frigid climes 
equal a good time. On Football Saturdays, 
Breese Terrace transforms into house-party 
central, and the beer gardens on Regent 
Street are packed with Badgers fans. 
Although the Mifflin Street Block Party 
lost city sponsorship in 2013, students are 
keeping the 46-year-old tradition alive. 
And new traditions are forming: The two- 
year-old Revelry Music and Arts Festival 
helps keep the party options plentiful. 


UNIVERSITY 
of MISSISSIPPI 


Tradition is a a king. After the game, 
beautiful thing there are always huge 
at Ole Miss, where house parties on Frat 
tailgating is a buffet of Row, and when the 
smoking-hot belles and weather heats up, the 
plenty of booze. But this pool parties kick into 
isn’t your average pre- high gear. Just last year 
gaming party. Oxford a drone captured Sigma 
is where Southern Nu’s annual Woodstock 
hospitality reigns, with blowout, helping to coin 
bountiful spreads fit for the phrase frat cam. 


UNIVERSITY 
of MICHIGAN 


Oh, “the Michigan 
difference.” 
The haughty 
catchphrase works 
because it’s true: 
Wolverines study 
hard and party 
harder. At “the Pit,” 
a shared backyard 
between frat houses 
and an epicenter 
for Saturday- 
morning tailgating, 
students get 
advanced degrees 
in Wolverine 
superiority, still 
going strong almost 
20 years after 
its last football 
championship. 
House parties 
abound in Ann 
Arbor; if one 
gets shut down, 
students roll the 
kegs to the party 
down the street. 
Win or lose, 
Michiganders still 
booze. 


SOCIAL STRATEGY 


Apps are rapidly transforming the 
social scene on college campuses. 
Want to become a party god? Post 
a sensational video. Looking for 
love—for tonight? Swipe right. Here 
are three apps that are blowing up 
on quads across the country. 


IEU 


Snapchat 
> This four-year-old video- 
messaging app exploded on 
campuses last year with reckless 
abandon, starring bongs, boobs 
and mysterious white powders. 
Many accounts were shut down. 


Ear pb 


Friendsy 
> Remember when Facebook was 
exclusive and sort of cool, before 
your great-aunt Agnes could join? 
This hookup app, which launched 
in March on 1,600 campuses, is 
available only to college students. 


9-9-9 


Yik Yak 


> Schoolyard bullying gets an 
advanced degree: This location- 
based app allows users to 
anonymously post messages—and 
up- or down-vote them—prompting 
some colleges to try to ban its use. 


uncan shifted uncomfortably on his bar stool, 

nodding his head awkwardly to the music, 

unable to find the beat. The club was too loud 

and brimming with hipsters, frat packs, woo 

girls, punks and hip-hoppers, anyone look- 
ing to take the edge off. Most of the patrons sitting 
at the bar were viewing the game on the overhead 
TV, but Duncan faced the dance floor, watching all 
the ways that women moved like oceans. What the 
guys were doing—hopping up and down, flinging 
their crotches—he didn't really get. 

He imagined himself out there. The crowd on 
the dance floor would slowly part and his body 
would sway and someone would swear that music 
was invented just for him. Maybe after he danced 
with a girl he’d ask her to an all-night diner, tell her 
about his life, how silly he had felt going to a bar 
just to meet someone but he was glad that he did 
because he’d met her. 

Duncan gulped his whiskey and hacked like he’d 


Fiction by 
Georgia Regents University 


Illustration by 


School of Visual Arts 


eaten fire. He tried to work up the nerve to brave 
the dance floor, but every time he came close he felt 
with shame the tightness of his black slacks around 
his gut, fat spilling over the waistband. He pushed 
his index finger into the soft of his love handles. 
Tonight, he reminded himself, he was supposed 
to be somebody. It was why he wasn’t gaming at 
home. It was why he wasn’t in cargo shorts and a 
Marvel Comics T-shirt. It was why he looked up 
“How to tie a tie” on YouTube. It was why he did 
sit-ups that morning. Duncan stood, straightened 
his tie like he’d seen suave guys do in movies and 
walked to the dance floor. It was slick from spilled 
drinks, and just as he reached the center, ready to 
let it all go, his feet slid out from under him and 
he fell to the wet ground. Looking up, he could see 
several people had stopped dancing and were star- 
ing at him, laughing. One man was pointing and 
jumping up and down like a child at a zoo. Dun- 
can staggered to his feet and scurried to the men’s 


» 


90 


For the past 29 years, students have competed for the honor of winning 
PLAYBOY's College Fiction Contest. This year, Donnie Watson of Georgia 
Regents University wins for his story My Feet Are Fire. Students of Marshall 
Arisman at the School of Visual Arts in New York also compete to illustrate 
the fiction. Amanda Moeckel’s winning entry is shown on the preceding 
page. Above, clockwise from top left, are illustrations by runners-up Chioma 
Ebinama, Chris Bonnell, Jeff Lowry, S.Y. Lee, Steve Cup and Karina Shor. 


room, accidentally knocking into people, 
mumbling apologies along his path. 

Racial slurs and blow-job promises tat- 
tooed the bathroom walls in black marker. 
It looked and smelled like someone had 
pissed in the sink. Duncan frowned at 
himself in the cracked mirror, his shirt 
damp and streaked with filth from the 
floor. He hunched beneath the hand 
dryer connected to the wall and poked 
at his belly fat. Suddenly the bathroom 
door flew open. Duncan flinched as a guy 
wearing black jeans and a tattered sleeve- 
less shirt kicked the door wide and strode 
in. Colorful tattoos spiraled around his 
arms and his hair was dirty and wild. He 
was wailing A-ha’s “Take On Me” while 
swaying left and right. 

The door-kicker cocked his head and 


pointed at Duncan in the mirror. Dun- 
can froze. 

“You!” the guy yelled, storming 
toward him. 

“What?” Duncan asked, raising his 
hands defensively. 

The stranger wrapped Duncan in a 
bear hug and shouted, “Preston! Pres- 
ton fucking Myers! Holy shit!” 

“That's not my” 

“It's me! Ritchie! Fuck, man. What's it 
been? Sixth grade?" 

Duncan stepped back, quickly scan- 
ning Ritchie. He was certain they'd never 
met. Ritchie had a look on his face like 
he was ready to eat the world and ask for 
seconds. He seemed feral and yet some- 
how holy, like an apocalyptic horseman. 
Ritchie seemed free. 


"Yeah, man. Sixth grade at least," Dun- 
can said, scratching his head. 

"Shit, that's gotta be 15 years or so. You 
moved, right? What are you doing back 
in town?" 

"Relatives." 

“You alone tonight?" 

"Yeah, all my boys already left." Duncan 
winced as he said it. It was the first time 
he'd ever said “my boys" and he debated 
its taste like a first cigarette. 

“Their loss. You're rollin’ with us 
tonight," Ritchie said as he stepped to 
the urinal. 

He swung his hips back and forth, caus- 
ing himself to shoot past the porcelain. His 
piss slid down the wall like raindrops on 
acar window. Unconcerned, Ritchie went 
back to singing (continued on page 106) 


ISS 


THERE ARE 
ONLY 10 
SCHOOLS IN 
THE BIG 12 
CONFERENCE, И 4 
BUT WITHA #% 
STRAIGHT-A 
CLASS OF 
COEDS THIS 
GOOD- 
LOOKING, 
WHO'S 
COUNTING? 
TAKE A 
BREAK FROM 
THE BOOKS 
AND MEET 
THE 2015 
HONOR ROLL 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY 
JARED RYDER 


T 


TEXAS TECH 


Sabrina 
Lynn 


¥ 


WEST 
VIRGINIA 
UNIVERSITY 


Abrie 


— х OKLAHOMA 
STATE 
UNIVERSITY 


Nicole Rose 


UNIVERSITY 
OF TEXAS 


Jamie C. 


В) 


BAYLOR 
UNIVERSITY 


Jacquelin 
Taylor 


IOWA STATE 
UNIVERSITY 
Elsa Day 


KANSAS 


STATE 
UNIVERSITY 
Alyssa Michele 


TOU 


TEXAS 
CHRISTIAN 


Kayla Elizabeth 
(j ( r left ) 


a 


UNIVERSITY OF 
KANSAS 


Sarah Elizabeth 


PROMOTION 


Le ka 
COLLEGE FOOTBALL CHAMPIONSHIP 


PRESENTED BY FanDuel 
The total prize pool the finalists will be 
competing for a share of, including 
, $100,000 for first place. 


2 
B11093993A б mi 
2 LJ 


c 


Karlee Saal 


* Levels of entry 


fees that allow The minimum buy-in necessary to field 

players to choose your best team every Saturday in the 
үйл а: Playboy College Football Championship. 
competition. 


The preseason 
ranking of 


finalists will earn the opportunity to match 
football wits for the live championship November 
21 at the iconic Playboy Mansion in Los Angeles. 


defending 
Theirs national 
er) champion Ohio 
number of d» 
State. 


preseason Heisman 
Trophy favorite, 
TCU quarterback 
Trevone Boykin. 


e The 
percentage of 
finalists who will 


5 ; win cash at the leer 
The nu mber of rushing yards Playboy Mansion poris per game i 
tallied by Wisconsin’s Melvin Ife elle given up y e le 
Gordon to lead the nation in 2014. й Miss defense to lead 
Г 4 ө the nation in 2014. 


www.fanduel.com/playboy-college 


Only U.S. and Canadian residents who comply with FanDuel's eligibility rules for paid entry games and are 18 years of age or older are eligible to participate. Residents of Arizona, Iowa, Louisiana, Montana and Washington are not eligible to compete. 


(R) 2015 PLAY BOY and Rabbit Head Design are registered trademarks of Playboy Enterprises International, Inc.and used under license by Fan Duel. 


PLAYBOY 


102 


JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT 


Continued from page 48 


connections are ludicrous. [laughs] But 
sometimes they're great. You're like, Oh 
shit, 1 might not have thought of that, and 
it actually makes sense in the morning. 
PLAYBOY: Are you a connoisseur? Do you 
know your Afghan Sour Kush from your 
Banana Candy? 

GORDON-LEVITT: 1 don't pay attention to 
the strains that much, but I know they 
say sativa is more up and indica is more 
down. I don't like the sleepy ones. I never 
get that, so I always buy sativa. Even 
though the tide is turning, I think mari- 
juana is overly demonized in our culture. 
I do know people who let it get out of 
control and let it play a part in their lives 
that’s not beneficial. There’s definitely an 
addictive quality, but it’s psychological. 
It’s not physically addictive in the way cig- 
arettes or alcohol are physically addictive. 
PLAYBOY: Do you smoke when you're 
making movies? 

GORDON-LEVITT: No. It’s illegal to smoke 
on sets because of insurance companies 
and stuff. And during breaks when I was 
shooting Snowden, for instance, I did it 
rarely. But I smoked with Oliver Stone a 
few times, which was awesome. 

PLAYBOY: Wow. What was that like? 
GORDON-LEVITT: The experience you have 
when you’re smoking weed is so deter- 
mined by the context and who is around 
you, which is why I don't like smoking in 
large social settings. But with Oliver it was 
really nice because most of the time we 
were in this kind of high-stakes situation of 
working, and when we were smoking, we 
just smoked and watched a couple of mov- 
ies a few times. We watched Paths of Glory, 
the Kubrick movie, and we watched Grand 
Hotel, with Barrymore and Garbo. Oliver’s 
a hilarious, fascinating dude—incredibly 
smart and good to hang out with. But 
he’s also very direct. He’s not afraid to 
challenge you, both at work and in social 
settings. He'll say shit people don't say. 
If I laughed at something while we were 
watching a movie, he would be like, “Why 
are you laughing?” Then you have to 
think about it for a second and say, “Well, I 
think maybe I identify with Greta Garbo’s 
sick ballerina character in some manner.” 
He’s always kind of nudging you. 
PLAYBOY: How does smoking pot com- 
pare with your experience with other 
drugs, like, say, acid? 

GORDON-LEVITT: Well, acid’s a lot more 
intense. I consider both psychedelic and 
kind of the same thing. Your mind will 
make connections that you wouldn’t oth- 


erwise make. I remember having a vivid 
bird’s-eye view of where I was. Somehow, 
my vision went up above me, and not only 
could I see.... It wasn’t so much about my- 
self. It was seeing a totality of how every- 
thing is all part of one thing, connected. 
PLAYBOY: Your brother, Dan, died in 2010. 
How has that event shaped your life? 
GORDON-LEVITT: It’s an evolution. It 
changes. I let the change happen and try 
not to cling to any one idea or feeling. In 
coping with grief, my motto has tended 
to be “Don’t force anything, and don’t re- 
sist anything.” 

My brother put so much gusto and flair 
and personality into whatever he did. His 
thing was to express himself without lim- 
its, and he encouraged others to do that. 
Burning Man was a watershed for him, 
and it changed everything. He was an 
introvert, but he said, “I’m not going to 
be introverted anymore. I’m going to get 
out there with people and be the best fire- 
spinner in the world. I’m going to make 
people happy.” And that’s exactly what he 
did. [starts to cry] People will walk up to me 
and say, “Your brother”—he and I looked 
very much alike—‘T just want you to know 
your brother changed my life.” Dan in- 
spired me so much to inspire other people 
to take creative risks at HitRECord. 
PLAYBOY: You and Dan launched the pro- 
duction company in 2010 right before he 
died. Since then you’ve built a global com- 
munity of makers and doers who collabo- 
rate on movies, books, shorts and a TV 
series on Pivot. Is this the future of media? 
GORDON-LEVITT: We currently think about 
media as something we passively consume, 
but what we're moving toward is partici- 
patory media. That concept is very dear 
to me. The difference between just sitting 
and watching versus interacting and par- 
ticipating in something is really the mis- 
sion of HitRECord. The idea of getting 
home after work, sitting down and just 
watching your media and not participat- 
ing in it is unnatural and unhealthy. It’s 
like eating a bag of potato chips. My vision 
is not to just sit and watch but to throw in 
your two cents or to tell a new version of 
whatever story is being told. 

PLAYBOY: So the future of entertainment 
is us? 

GORDON-LEVITT: It’s already happening. 
That’s how a television works. You can’t 
talk back to it exactly—not yet, anyway— 
but there is an input device. Our culture 
needs to catch up to the technology be- 
cause we’re still trapped in the mind-set 
of passive consumer media. We're get- 
ting to the end of the star era. For so long 
people said it’s only the stars who create. 
Only the super-best singers are supposed 
to sing. Only the super-best storytellers 
are supposed to tell stories. If I’m not as 
good as they are, then I should just shut 
up and listen. I don’t think that’s true. 
PLAYBOY: You could argue there’s a down- 
side to art when everyone’s a DJ or musi- 
cian or talk-show host or filmmaker. There’s 
a ton of terrible content out there. 
GORDON-LEVITT: But that’s subjective. In 


high school my buddies and I used to get 
together and make goofy videos. It would 
take us an hour or so. We'd shoot it and 
then watch it and laugh our asses off, it 
was so funny. If you showed that to some- 
one who wasn't us, they’d probably call it 
garbage. But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t 
worth doing. The point is, you don’t know 
what’s going to emerge when you open the 
channels of communication and media— 
especially if you pay people. I’m really 
proud that we’ve paid out more than a 
million dollars to our contributors over 
the past five years. For some people it’s the 
first time they’ve gotten paid for their art. 
PLAYBOY: That model hasn’t proven to be 
sustainable for the artist, though. Lots of 
digital-media companies pay contribu- 
tors pennies on the dollar—or nothing— 
for work that used to be valuable, such as 
photography, design and journalism. 
GORDON-LEVITT: That's a really important 
criticism. It's one of the big stances Jaron 
Lanier takes in Who Owns the Future? 
There’s a sleight of hand going on with 
companies saying information wants to 
be free, so there’s no money to give you. 
Yeah, you generated these ideas and it’s 
intellectual property, it’s your music, it’s 
your videos—but we can’t pay. Meanwhile 
they’re making all this fucking money. 
I’m not claiming I have the answer, but 
we are paying contributors, and I do think 
there are some radical solutions. Lanier 
talks about the idea of there being two-way 
web links. If that were the case, it would 
take starting the whole internet over, 
which is certainly ambitious, to say the 
least. But if links went two ways, then you 
could have a system where all this money 
that currently just basically goes to Google 
could be spread out among the different 
people who generated the content. 
PLAYBOY: A Google search puts your net 
worth at $35 million. 
GORDON-LEVITT: Ha! I certainly don’t 
have that much money. But sure. Look, 
the last thing I want to do is deny that I 
live a privileged life. I do live a privileged 
life. And I don’t think money is the root 
of all evil. But I think the love of money 
is. If you’re making money because you 
have things you want to accomplish with 
that money, then money is a tool. If you’re 
making money because you just want to 
make more money, then that’s an endless 
black hole that leads down bad roads. 
I’ve been fortunate, but there’s this 
whole other side to success that can be 
weird, frankly. You get into that extreme 
territory with everybody telling you how 
great you are, that everything you do is 
amazing, and you get into this nebulous 
territory where you can lose touch with 
reality. You can’t believe anybody, so you 
don’t really have any friends because all 
your relationships are predicated on a 
view of you as this supernova. 
PLAYBOY: That’s been the downfall of 
countless celebrities, particularly child 
stars. Yet you somehow came through 
without many TMZ-worthy dramas. 
GORDON-LEVITT: I’ve always done my 


“Looks like he means business this time.” 


PLAYBOY 


best to surround myself with people who 
are honest with me. It’s why I chose cer- 
tain friends in high school and why those 
people are still close friends to me now. 
We hang out, we play basketball. I go to 
my parents’ house every weekend. These 
things keep you sane. 

PLAYBOY: You also got married last year. 
How has that changed things? 
GORDON-LEVITT: [Fidgets] Yeah, again, I’m 
reluctant to talk about being married be- 
cause I’m married to a woman who doesn’t 
like strangers being privy to her life and 
relationships. 

PLAYBOY: She seems smart. She builds ro- 
bots for NASA. But was marrying a celeb- 
rity the wisest choice? 

GORDON-LEVITT: [Laughs] We all bring dif- 
ferent challenges to the table when we en- 
ter relationships. Certainly this is the chal- 
lenge. You know, we kept our wedding a 
secret. It wasn’t that difficult because we 
didn’t tell many people about it. As much 
as some people may disagree, I don’t be- 
lieve a person’s private life—even a person 
in entertainment—is a public performance. 
I also want very much to respect my wife’s 
wishes—and frankly mine too—that we 
keep our private life private. 

PLAYBOY: Fair enough. Let’s move on. Do you 
want to do another big superhero movie? 
GORDON-LEVITT: Sure, if it’s good. Cer- 
tainly the Nolan movies were good. Robert 
Downey’s Iron Man is pretty fucking bril- 
liant. I really enjoyed Age of Ultron. 
PLAYBOY: Are you looking forward to Ben 
Affleck as Batman? 

GORDON-LEVITT: [Raises eyebrows and smiles] 
Um, yeah. 

PLAYBOY: That doesn’t sound convincing. 
GORDON-LEVITT: I think Ben Affleck’s a 
great actor. I also think it’s going to be very 
hard to follow Christian Bale. 

PLAYBOY: What’s the status of the Sandman 
movie you're producing based on the Neil 
Gaiman comic books? 

GORDON-LEVITT: 1 think about it pretty close 
to daily. What's so cool is that Sandman is a 
superhero movie whose setting is the creative 
mind and whose “superhero”—and 1 would 
put that in quotes because he's not exactly a 
superhero—is the embodiment of human 
ingenuity, creativity and dreams. It's totally 
different from just a very powerful man who 
wants to fight crime. There's nothing wrong 
with those movies, but something like this 
is stimulating for me on a whole other level 
and for the readers of Sandman. There's not 
a single scene in a Sandman comic where he 
punches somebody. So come up with a spec- 
tacular action movie where no one punches 
anybody. It's a challenge to write, but we're 
getting there, and when we get there 1 think 
it’s going to be unique. 

PLAYBOY: Which actors’ careers would you 
most like to emulate? 

GORDON-LEVITT: Jim Henson, Elon Musk. 
Wait, can you repeat the question? 
PLAYBOY: Are there any actors you see as 
models for your career? 

GORDON-LEVITT: Oh, I don’t want to just be 
an actor. I love acting, and I always want to 
do it, but if that were the only thing I got 
to do I don't think I'd be satisfied. I love 


104 the editing, producing and writing I do at 


HitRECord. I love making music. In the 
second season of HitRECord's TV series, I 
did two songs. One's a kind of Morrissey- 
inspired 1980s dance song, and one is a 
comedic R&B song. 

PLAYBOY: What other music are you enjoy- 
ing these days? 

GORDON-LEVITT: D'Angelo's new album 
is probably my favorite in recent times. 
Newer acts: Flying Lotus, James Vincent 
McMorrow. But I largely listen to Nirvana, 
Brian Eno. I spend a fair amount of time 
on Spotify, though I feel bad about it be- 
cause I know artists are getting the short 
end of the stick. Then again, it's a great 
way to discover music. The internet can 
provide us with wondrous little pieces of 
brain candy all day long if we want it to. 
PLAYBOY: What are your online rabbit holes? 
GORDON-LEVITT: Well, I've certainly ex- 
perienced what it's like to go down a rab- 
bit hole with pornography. I think most 
young men my age have experienced what 
that's like. I wrote a movie about that. Don 
Jon is probably the most transformative of 
any movie I've done. That character is the 
most different from me, and I'm proud of 


Sex is good 
only if you 
have that two- 
way feedback 
cycle. 


that from an acting-performance stand- 
point. I'm also proud of what it says about 
sex, about guys, about compulsions. 
PLAYBOY: Your character would rather 
watch porn than have sex with Scarlett 
Johansson. Isn't that asking a lot from your 
audience in terms of suspending disbelief? 
GORDON-LEVITT: [Laughs] Actually, the rea- 
son I wanted the character of Jon to be with 
the hottest girl in the world is to illustrate 
the concept that it’s not about how hot she 
is. I'm not saying beauty is only skin deep. 
That’s a different argument. The argument 
is when your sexuality is defined by por- 
nography or, on the other side, when your 
idea of romance is defined by movies or any 
number of other things—when your men- 
tality gets defined by media, one-way media, 
consumer media—you are nothing but a 
passive receiver. Regardless of how hot the 
girl is, just by virtue of the fact that Jon has to 
interact with her means she’s not as hot for 
him as the one-way street of pornography. 
PLAYBOY: Doing publicity for that movie, 
you were frank about being someone 
who masturbates. 

GORDON-LEVITT: Oh, big news, folks! 


PLAYBOY: But it’s rare for celebrities to 
actually talk about it. 

GORDON-LEVITT: I think it's worth talking 
about, so I’m happy to lubricate the conver- 
sation, so to speak. What’s interesting is that 
people were sometimes resistant to talking 
about it as it pertained to me. Most interview- 
ers didn’t even ask me about it, even though 
masturbation and porn are the themes of 
the movie. It goes back to the thing I was 
talking about earlier. Throughout my life of 
being an actor I’ve seen the way mainstream 
media impact people, and there’s this myth 
that gets sold of the celebrity world on the 
other side of the screen. I guess it doesn’t fit 
with their preconceived notions that some- 
one like me would jerk off. [laughs] 
PLAYBOY: Okay, we will ask about it. What 
has been your experience with masturbat- 
ing to porn? Any downsides? 
GORDON-LEVITT: I’ve thought about that 
quite a bit. What it mostly comes down to— 
besides the specifics of what you’re into or 
do you like more of this body part or that 
fetish—is whether you’re having too much 
of a passive experience versus an interac- 
tive one. When I say interactive I don’t 
mean, like, a porn video game. I mean in- 
teracting with another human being—and 
not by webcam. Whether you're watching 
the Victoria's Secret show on CBS or hard- 
core porn of two girls with three guys or 
whatever else it is that gets you off, you 
have to recognize it's a different mode 
from being with another human being. If 
you get used to getting a boner and jerking 
off without having another person there, 
you run the risk of not knowing how to 
truly interact once you're actually in bed 
with someone. Sex is good only if you have 
that two-way feedback cycle. 

PLAYBOY: What's ahead for you? Anyone 
you're dying to collaborate with? 
GORDON-LEVITT: There are the obvious ones 
like the Coen brothers, Quentin Tarantino 
and Paul Thomas Anderson. Any of those 
would be a dream. I'd love to work with 
Louis C.K. His show is probably my favor- 
ite in contemporary culture, maybe because 
I have a dark sense of humor. But he's also 
heartfelt and insightful. There’s a really tal- 
ented filmmaker named Ryan Coogler, who 
made Fruitvale Station. Y'd love to work with 
him. Through Ryan I got turned on to the 
work of another guy, Terence Nance. He 
does these brilliant short pieces. So many 
people to work with, so little time. 
PLAYBOY: You've been in show business 
since the age of six. What motivates you to 
keep working? 

GORDON-LEVITT: I really enjoy it. That's 
at the top of the list. But I try to find the 
balance between being motivated for my- 
self and for the whole team, the 7 billion 
of us on the planet. People think there's 
nothing really important about movies 
or music or what you could call culture. 
There's nothing sacred about it. It's con- 
sidered snooty to think this stuff matters 
nowadays, but I believe it does. I'm not 
saying it matters more than other things, 
but it matters to me, and it's part of being 
human. That's enough for me. 


í INOTJAVAIL'ABLE|IN[STORES! 


119: 


Cold-Cast Bronze 


MOIS YOAIPUS 


NFL LEGACY BOOKENDS 


First orders will receive 
© the highly coveted lowest 
edition numbers! 


E NEW ENGLAND 


Shown smaller than actual size of 6-7” Hx 4” Wx 4" D. Product subject to change. 


© 


PATRIOTS _ 


NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS 


DENVER BRONCOS 


SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS CHICAGO BEARS SAN DIEGO CHARGERS 
KANSAS CITY CHIEFS INDIANAPOLIS COLTS DALLAS COWBOYS MIAMI DOLPHINS 
E ЖЕЕ == کے‎ 
PHILADELPHIA EAGLES ATLANTA FALCONS NEW YORK GIANTS NEW YORK JETS 

ej Ap | E © 
GREEN BAY PACKERS CAROLINA PANTHERS BALTIMORE RAVENS — WASHINGTON REDSKINS 
OAKLAND RAIDERS NEW ORLEANS SAINTS PITTSBURGH STEELERS HOUSTON TEXANS - 

YOUR CHOICE! NFL team action Strictly limited! n 
immortalized in cold-cast bronze! Order promptly. В 


Only from The Bradford Exchange, these first-ever cold-cast bronze 
bookends are a “gotta have it” for pro football fans! These substantial 
bookends feature three dramatic NFL player scenes. The players on 
each side appear to push back the books and hold them up, while the 
centerpiece QB raises his rocket arm to go long. Together, the bookends 
tell the play-by-play action in burnished, sculptural trophy-look bronze. 
These bookends are fully functional and bear your choice of team colors 
and logos. Order now to get the coveted low edition numbers! 


YES. Please accept my order for my choice of NFL Cold-Cast Bronze Legacy Bookends as 
indicated below. | need send no money now. | will be billed with shipment. Limit: one set per order. 


ÛÛ NEW ORLEANS SAINTS 
904216 


ÛJ DALLAS COWBOYS 
904214 

Û MIAMI DOLPHINS 
904145 


ÛÛ SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS Ü GREEN BAY PACKERS 
903831 904212 


Ocar 
904147 
Û PHILADELPHIA EAGLES 
903834 
DIEGO CHARGERS JORE RAVENS 
143 
KANSAS CITY CHIEFS 
_ 904149 
Cl INDIANAPOLIS COLTS 
903833 


ÛÛ ATLANTA FALCONS 
904146 


ÛÛ NEW YORK GIANTS IGTON REDSKINS 
90: 


ÛÛ NEW YORK JETS 
904144 


90: 
*Plus $9.99 shipping and service per edition. Limited-edition presentations restricted to 5,000. 
Please allow 4-8 weeks for shipment. Sales subject to product availability and order acceptance. 


2 90 6 
OLINA PANTHERS [PITTSBURGH STEELERS 
147 904213 
C NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS ÛJ HOUSTON TEXANS 
90 
ÛÛ MINNESOTA VIKINGS 


Sellout demand is expected, so order * 
your choice of teams now at $49.99* MINNESOTA VIKINGS 
per set, payable in two installments of $24.99. Send no money now. Your 
purchase is backed by our 365-day guarantee. Cancel at any time by 
notifying us. Mail the coupon today! 
www. bradfordexchange.com 
©2015 NFL Properties LLC. Visit www.NFL.com 
©2015 The Bradford Exchange All rights reserved 01-22749-001-BDMPO 
PLEASE RESPOND PROMPTLY SEND NO MONEY NOW 


"н 
BRADFORD ANGE 
=COLLECTI 


9345 Milwaukee Avenue : Niles, IL 60714-1393 


Mrs. Mr. Ms. 
Name (Please Print Clearly) 


Address 
City State Zip 
Email (optional) 


PLAYBOY 


106 


MY FEET ARE FIRE 


Continued from page 90 


the chorus of “Take On Me,” leaning way 
back as he screeched its last high note. Dun- 
can sang along under his breath. 


Out in the club, Ritchie seemed to know 
everyone; each time Duncan turned there 
was a new hand to shake. 

“I’m Preston,” he'd say. “In town to see 
relatives.” 

With every hand he shook, a question 
followed. How’s it feel seeing Ritchie again 
after all these years? What’re you drinking 
tonight? You gotten laid since you been back 
in town? When Ritchie’s friends leaned in to 
better hear his answers he kept it short and 
simple, smiling and nodding. He had a hard 
time keeping up with all the names, but it 
was easy to remember Alessandra. She was 
small and lithe and she grinned at him with 
strawberry lips as he introduced himself. 

Duncan extended his hand, but she 
closed in for a hug instead. He instinctively 
sucked in his gut and curled his arm around 
her narrow frame. 

“One arm?” she teased. “That’s weak.” 

Before he could come up with a witty 
response she bounded toward the dance 
floor like a stone skipping over the water’s 
surface, hopping with each step as if her 
shoes had spring-loaded soles. Duncan fig- 
ured that’s how happy people moved. 


CocHR AML 


Ritchie put his arm around Duncan and 
shouted above the thumping music, “Pres- 
ton, my man. Tell the triplets here about 
that sweet chica you snagged from me at 
the sock hop!” 

Ritchie gestured toward three large men 
in button-up flannels, each with combed- 
back hair and a brown beard. They looked 
like members of a woodsmen fraternity. 

“Yo! Earth to Preston!” Ritchie belted as 
he patted Duncan’s back. “The chica.” 

Duncan tore his attention from Alessan- 
dra and searched for something to say that 
would coat him in undeniable coolness. 

“Man, there were so many of ’em, I’m 
having a hard time remembering who 
you're talking about,” he blurted. 

“My man! You absolute fucking dog. Did 
I not tell you guys that my boy Preston was 
a fucking legend?” Ritchie hooted. 

The triplets threw their heads back and 
roared with laughter, one clapping his mam- 
moth hands and stomping in appreciation. 
Ritchie and his friends laughed with their 
whole bodies, like a good joke might break 
a bone. Duncan watched them admiringly. 
Not only do they laugh deeply, he thought, 
but they piss on walls. They ask questions 
and actually listen to the answers. They 
travel in packs like great wolves. And when 
the right song comes on, they dance. 

A popular song blasted from the speakers 
and within seconds the dance floor was flooded, 
a storm of gleeful howls swirling around Dun- 
can. It was the World Series when the winning 
run rounds third. It was a roller coaster just 
before the big spill. It was your favorite band 
coming out to play one more song. It was that 
thing that’s worth waiting for, because when 
it finally shows up, all you can do is scream. 

Ritchie and the triplets moved toward 
the dance floor, and Duncan followed. But 
as the beat revved, Duncan stood still, par- 
alyzed. Around him dancers were flailing, 
wet with sweat and beer. He scanned nearby 
faces. Afraid someone might recognize him 
from his fall, Duncan felt his breathing has- 
ten. He decided to bolt for the bar, but then 
he heard her. 


“Okay, Lefty. Show me that hard slider the sports writers talk about.” 


“You’re not gonna dance?” 

Duncan turned and saw Alessandra bop- 
ping in front of him. 

“Oh, this just isn’t my jam,” he said, hop- 
ing he sounded cool. 

“Do you have ears?” she laughed. “It’s 
everyone’s jam.” 

“You know, I just feel like I’ve jammed to 
it too many times.” 

“We're saying jam a lot.” 

“Yeah, too much jam.” 

“You’re cute,” she said as she twisted 
in circles. 

Duncan watched her body move like it 
was what made the world spin. 

The song ended, and with relief Duncan 
began to make his way through the waves 
of people to the safety of a bar stool. But 
as the next song gathered speed and the 
crowd boomed its approval again, someone 
grabbed Duncan’s arm from behind. 

“Oh no you don’t, Mr. Sock Hop ’99! 
I remember you getting fucking nutty to 
this shit!” 

Duncan glanced at the empty seat at the 
bar, remembering sitting there, choking on 
his liquor, suppressing a hard-on, watching 
the dance floor and aching for all the things 
he could be. With a nod he pushed past 
Ritchie, who barked joyfully and drummed 
his hands on Duncan’s back. Duncan shut 
his eyes for a moment, listening to the music, 
feeling it. Rolling his head to the buildup, 
grooving his shoulders to the beat as the 
rhythm bloomed. He gripped his shirtfront 
and hoped that the people who saw him fall 
earlier were watching. He hoped that the 
girl who laughed at him when he gave her 
a Wonder Woman Valentine’s Day card in 
fourth grade was watching, and the very first 
person who called him fat, and the ones who 
called him John Candy’s bastard child, who 
compared him to a Mack truck, who blamed 
him for putting Chow Down Asian Buffet out 
of business. He hoped they were all watching. 

The beat dropped and Duncan ripped 
open his shirt, buttons exploding off the fab- 
ric like plastic shrapnel. He swung his arms 
and swiveled on his feet, his belly bounc- 
ing under his white T-shirt. His loosened tie 
flapped like a happy dog’s tail. He always 
thought he’d have to rely on secondhand 
moves copied from films like Footloose and 
Grease, but it wasn’t the case. He felt the music, 
his body greeting the rhythms and tones like a 
lover, laying it down gently, then rough. Dun- 
can let loose, his feet burning as he spun. For 
a few blissful minutes, everything was a mul- 
ticolor blur. He didn’t notice that a circle had 
formed around him until the song was over. 

Duncan searched for Ritchie or Ales- 
sandra or the triplets but saw no one he’d 
met that night. A panic washed over him. 
Had he embarrassed them? Had he embar- 
rassed himself? He stiffened; people were 
still dancing, but for Duncan the club had 
become quiet, the music sounding far away. 
He checked the bar, the men’s room, did 
a couple of laps around the dance floor, 
but no luck. Ritchie and Ritchie’s friends— 
everyone he'd felt a connection with—had 
disappeared. It was a social rapture. 

“Preston! Outside, man,” one of the trip- 
lets hollered, urgency edging into his voice 
as he waved at Duncan from the door. 


The club’s humidity was offset by the cool- 
ness of the evening air. Duncan saw a swarm 
of people gathered in the parking lot, and 
in the center was Ritchie, gritting his teeth 
at an angry midnight warrior with a popped 
collar and a flat-bill hat. 

Duncan stumbled toward Ritchie, push- 
ing weakly past the crowd. He felt his chest 
cave and his tongue turn to beach sand. 
Cold sweat glistened on the back of his neck. 
He glanced over people’s heads at the street 
beyond and imagined himself running away. 
No one would ever see him again. No one 
even knew his name. But instead Duncan 
stood at Ritchie’s side. 

“Who’s the fucking marshmallow?” Flat 
Bill said. 

“Don’t talk about my man like that,” Ritchie 
said. “He didn’t spill 
your drink. I did.” 

“Jesus. Look at 
him. He’s out of 
breath just from 
walking over here,” 
Flat Bill sneered. 

Duncan heard 
scattered laugh- 
ter and felt like his 
skin was tightening 
around his bones. He 
stood up straighter. 
The laughter grew, 
filling his head, cir- 
cling his brain. This 
was the only song he 
knew. It was a grand 
symphony churning 
his blood, making the 
spit that he swallowed 
taste like gasoline. 
Duncan clenched 
his fist and swung it 
as hard as he could. 
It connected across 
Flat Bill’s jaw, and he 


doesn’t mean yours is.” 

“What now?” Duncan asked. 

“Га better get going,” Ritchie said, dig- 
ging his hands into his pockets and looking 
at the passing cars. 

“Yeah,” Duncan said reluctantly. “Me too.” 

"Already? You're not going to go talk to 
Alessandra first? I saw you guys in there." 

“I would, but——" 

"But what?" Ritchie interjected. 

“She wouldn't like me, man. I'm fat 
and——" 

"So fucking what you're fat. Let me ask 
you something. Do you give tight hugs? Do 
you know any jokes?" 

"Yes." 

“Then you're lovable, you fuck." 

Duncan slowly nodded. 


went down hard. 

"Holy shit!" 
Ritchie roared, join- 
ing the cacophony of 
onlookers. 

Holy shit, Duncan 
thought. 

Ritchie laughed 
and whooped like 
a boy who'd found 
his favorite present 
under the tree on 
Christmas morning. Duncan saw Flat Bill 
working unsteadily to his feet and grabbed 
his arm to help him up. Flat Bill looked 
at him, eyes widening in confusion, then 
moped to his car. Duncan watched, wishing 
he'd apologized, but was frozen as he real- 
ized he'd stood up for himself. A hulking 
security guard strode over and informed 
Ritchie and Duncan that they weren't 
allowed back in. The gawkers dispersed, 
chattering about what had just happened. 

"Who's the big guy?" Duncan heard 
someone ask. "The bulldozer that came 
from out of nowhere." 

Ritchie told his friends to head back 
into the club and not worry about him 
and Duncan. He waved off their protests 
and said, "Just because my night's over 


when someone calls you fat on Tuesday, 
you do jumping jacks in front of him, or 
scream “Bohemian Rhapsody,’ or knock his 
goddamn teeth out, because it doesn't mat- 
ter. You're alive and you're not confined to 
what anyone says you are." 

Ritchie took a long drag. ^Only on the 
weekend do we seem to remember this," he 
said, walking toward the street. 

Duncan laughed and shouted, “ГЇЇ run 
into you next time I'm in town!" 

“You bet,” Ritchie called back, waving. 
Then he disappeared beyond the haze of 
the streetlights. 

Duncan tried buttoning his shirt, forget- 
ting that he’d ripped all the buttons off. A 
grin broke out on his face as he looked at 
the reddened knuckles of his right hand. He 
clenched his fist and 
felt pain wash over 
his skin. He knew 
what he had to do. 

Duncan sprinted 
back into the club, 
past the disbelieving 
bouncer. He heard 
him exclaim “What'd 
I say, motherfucker,” 
but he didn’t look 
back. He ran to the 
dance floor. There 
she was—Alessandra, 
grooving, glowing in 
a wash of faces that 
didn’t matter. He 
didn’t wait to catch 
his breath. 

“Listen, I have to 
make this really fast 
because there’s a fuck- 
ing ogre coming for 
me,” Duncan gulped. 
“You seem happy. 
I don't know if you 
really are, but I want 


“You know,” Duncan said, breathing 
deeply, “I’m not Preston. Have no idea who 
the guy is.” 

“Man,” Ritchie said, looking Duncan 
over, “I figured that out within the first 
two minutes.” 

They stood in silence. Duncan thought 
maybe he should’ve felt foolish, but he 
didn't. He was caught up in a strange, over- 
powering sense of comfort. 

"I'm really glad I came out tonight,” Dun- 
can finally said. 

“Yeah, a lot can happen on a weekend 
night," said Ritchie, lighting a cigarette. 
“You can just be yourself, you know? And 
you carry that with you throughout the 
week. Be that wild thing breathing fire on 
the dance floor on Monday morning. And 


to hear about your 
life. Come out with 
me. To a diner. Now. 
Please. And if you're 
not hungry, watch me 
eat. I can do origami 
with the napkins and 
that one balancing 
trick with the fork. It 
doesn't matter if you 
know what I'm talking 
about. Come with me 
and you will. And goddamn it, ГЇЇ hug you 
when we're done. I'll hug you the right way. 
Just, please. Meet me outside." 

Before she could answer, Duncan took 
off, a few steps ahead of the bouncer. He 
pushed his way past men and women, 
spilling drinks and stepping on shoes. He 
didn't say sorry—didn't even think to. He 
knew the bouncer was behind him and 
Alessandra was somewhere behind the 
bouncer, contemplating what had just 
happened. Maybe she'd meet him outside. 
Maybe she wouldn't. As he ran toward the 
door his inhales were deep and he thought 
that this was the type of breathing that 


kept you alive. 


107 


PLAYBOY 


108 


THE PERFECT WEAPON 


Continued from page 52 


simply clicking through a set of instructions 
that told him when to shift the receiver’s 
position, tighten or loosen a bolt and change 
the drill bit. It took about two hours in all. 

The result’s only flaw is one imprecisely 
drilled hole that now leaves the safety catch 
spinning loosely in its orbit. But then Wilson 
finds a bigger problem. Rather than build 
out a whole new gun, he brought along his 
Colt AR-15, hoping to substitute the newly 
machined lower receiver for the stock part 
in his expensive store-bought rifle. Now he 
realizes the manufacturer has precluded that 
with a screw ring. The ring is a good thing, 
says Wilson—it is intended to keep the stock 
from loosening after repeated use—but still, 
someone else has made the decision for him. 
He bridles at that fact. “With Colt,” he says, 
"] guess you pay for not getting to do what 
you want with your rifle.” 


The offices for Wilson’s nonprofit, Defense 
Distributed, are situated in an Austin busi- 
ness park. The interior resembles a Mac 
repair facility more than a gun shop, with a 
full-time staff of eight and two part-timers, 
most of them vegetarians in their mid- to 
late 20s: Wilson describes them as “suffering, 


overeducated millennials” who subscribe 
to his twist on Google’s motto: Think evil. 
One leads the Alliance of Austin Agorists— 
a “counter-economic libertarian strategy” 
that seeks to completely evade the formal 
economy. (Wilson tried to hire a few of this 
employee’s Agorist buddies, but “they’re not 
made for working.”) Wilson also stole an 
engineer away from National Instruments. 
Everyone makes at least $15 an hour, the 
software engineers a lot more. 

For all his varied philosophical influences, 
Wilson’s roots are pure red state. He grew 
up in Arkansas, where his father, a Baptist 
minister, had a law practice—asset protec- 
tion, estate planning, elder law, end-of-life 
planning. “Idyllic stuff, no complaints at all,” 
he says. His father owned a shotgun and a 
handgun, but Wilson never considered him- 
selfa gun guy; in Arkansas, he says, there’s an 
age when young men start wearing too much 
camouflage and embracing their fathers’ mas- 
culine ideals. That never appealed to him. 

But there were traces of what would 
become his trademark brand of provoca- 
tive entrepreneurialism—selling candy in 
competition with approved school fund- 
raisers and pocketing the money, or selling 
the answers to tests from digital material he 
discovered his teacher was using. In 2011 
he started law school at the University of 
Texas because it “seemed like the only cred- 
ible path to any type of money, any type of 
power.” During his first semester, in the wake 
of the Citizens United ruling, he formed his 
own super PAC to help bring down U.S. 
Senator Mark Pryor. He describes it as an 
attempt to “gain cachet with the Arkansas 
machine” and to put political theory into 
practice. In the end he decided to take his 
career in a different direction because his 
politics have “always been antistate.” He 
spent that summer hanging out with his col- 
lege buddy Ben Denio and became obsessed 
with the digital fabrication of guns. 

Denio was a radical environmentalist and 


"I guess they don't call you Tiny Tim for nothing." 


anarchist. He left the impression of someone 
“just looking for reasons to blow something 
up.” He was also obsessed with military his- 
tory and the sort of “gun nerdisms” that 
bored Wilson, who was more fascinated 
by the idea of the gun as “the implement 
of political realism.” He became obsessed 
with a singular question: What would be 
the equivalent of WikiLeaks for guns? The 
outgrowth of that notion was the Liberator. 

The blueprints for the Liberator were 
computer-aided-design files, essentially com- 
puter code. In May 2013, four days after 
Wilson posted them, he received a letter from 
the State Department warning that he may 
have violated ITAR, or International Traffic 
in Arms Regulations, which govern the ability 
of anyone in the U.S. to export defense arti- 
cles. Violations could result in jail time and 
million-dollar fines. While the State Depart- 
ment considered whether it would require 
Wilson to get a license to disseminate the 
code, it demanded he pull the CAD files from 
his online server. He complied. (By that time, 
however, the files had already been down- 
loaded more than 100,000 times; they remain 
widely available on the internet today.) 

In May 2015, Wilson and the Second 
Amendment Foundation filed his lawsuit, 
which names John Kerry and other State 
Department officials and seeks not only 
damages but an injunction against the State 
Department's ability to censor Defense Dis- 
tributed’s files. If granted, it would mean 
he could immediately publish a trove of 
new firearm blueprints developed over the 
past two years. 

Wilson summarizes an e-mail from his 
legal team: In the face of his lawsuit, the 
State Department is effectively “doubling 
down,” continuing to require its prior 
authorization for posting any technical data 
related to the production or maintenance 
of a “defense article.” Defined in “perfectly 
Kafkaesque” terms, as Wilson explains it, 
“a defense article is any article that is impli- 
cated in defense, basically. It has this very 
circular definition. It gives them infinite 
discretion.” The regulations also define tech- 
nical data broadly: “A diagram, a model, a 
formula, a table, design specification, CAD 
files—so that’s for yours truly,” he says. 

The lawsuit raises complex arguments 
involving the First, Second and Fifth Amend- 
ments. The suit’s central premise revives a 
legal argument made in the 1990s after the 
Department of Justice began to investigate 
cryptographers who were sharing powerful 
encryption tools online, which the govern- 
ment considered military munitions. In this 
argument, code—whether it conveys knowl- 
edge about how to protect communications 
or how to build a firearm—constitutes speech 
protected by the First Amendment, and ITAR 
imposes an unconstitutional “prior restraint” 
on that speech. Legal scholars have called 
Wilson’s suit a novel and unsettled argument 
for the digital age, as technologies such as 
3-D printing continue to blur the difference 
between a thing and instructions on how to 
make it, and the internet serves as a means of 
instant worldwide distribution. 

Which is precisely Wilson’s aim: to push 
back at what he considers the government's 
totalitarian impulse to exert control over all 


new technologies. Aided by technology, he 
hopes the spread of digital contraband— 
whether CAD files shared on sites too 
numerous to prosecute or drug sales, facil- 
itated by Dark Wallet and its copycats, too 
inscrutable to monitor—will render the rules 
practically impossible to enforce and the law 
essentially irrelevant. 

Wilson’s political philosophy of free- 
market anarchy can be hard to triangulate. 
He enjoys using leftist critical theory in 
service of what he (jokingly) calls his brand 
of “proto-fascistic-anarcho-republicanism 
or something.” 

When Wilson came up with the idea for 
the Ghost Gunner, his father told him he 
might sell five or 10. But Wilson thought he 
could squeeze at least $2 million out of the 
idea. (With roughly 1,000 orders at $1,500 
each, he’s close to proving himself right.) A 
self-described “hype man,” Wilson is a savvy 
promoter. Wired just went live with a glow- 
ing review of the Ghost Gunner, and he has 
already received a couple of new orders. On 
his laptop he clicks through e-mail lists he'll 
use to publicize the story. On this Listserv, 
he says, he has about 4,000 people—his total 
database, split across seven constituencies, 
is about 20,000, halfway to “a list you can 
live on," as he's learned from targeted-ad 
consultants—and he's hoping to convert one 
to two percent of them into sales. He also 
keeps an extensive press list, categorized by 
the likelihood of favorable coverage. 

He describes the Ghost Gunner as both 
a gift to his red-state base and an example 
of shrewd but cynical capitalism, preying 
on the insecurities of clients who will likely 
never use his product but feel empowered by 
the very prospect of doing so. He describes 
his ultimate goal in metaphysical terms. 
"It's black magic to these people when they 
see this thing running. They don't under- 
stand it. They think there's some spirit in 
it that was banished and that they thought 
they had gotten rid of," he says. "It's about 
becoming a partisan for this other, deeper, 
mysterious aspect of the world." 


For every worldview that endorses a new 
technology there is a diametrically opposed 
worldview that endorses its opposite. If Wil- 
son's work puts the power to decide life and 
death into countless unknown hands, the 
smart gun puts it into fewer. 

'The quest for a smarter gun can be traced 
to 1886, after D.B. Wesson, a founding part- 
ner of Smith & Wesson, learned that a child 
had been injured playing with one of his 
company's products. Wesson asked his son 
to design a childproof handgun: a revolver 
with a metal lever on the back that had to be 
depressed as the trigger was pulled in order 
to fire. Until 1940, when the technology was 
abandoned, the company sold more than 
half a million such guns. 

Today, with roughly 30,000 Americans 
killed by gunfire every year, many argue 
that smart-gun technology, which restricts 
a gun’s use to its proper owner, could pre- 
vent accidental shootings and gun theft, as 
well as protect police officers from crimi- 
nals using their own guns against them. But 
personalization technology has long faced 


resistance. In 1976 the pro-gun lobby pres- 
sured Congress to prevent the Consumer 
Product Safety Commission from overseeing 
guns the way it does other consumer prod- 
ucts (such as childproof medicine bottles). 

In 2000 Bill Clinton announced grants 
of $300,000 to Smith & Wesson and EN. 
Manufacturing Inc. to spur the technology. 
A subsequent boycott of Smith & Wesson 
“sent fear into the hearts of gun manufactur- 
ers that, should they break ranks and start 
to make safer guns, they could be severely 
punished,” says Stephen Teret, the found- 
ing director of the Center for Gun Policy 
and Research at Johns Hopkins University. 
Consequently, most smart-gun technology 
has come from Western Europe. 

Teret points to one study that concluded 
smart-gun tech could have prevented 37 
percent of accidental shooting deaths. 
It could also presumably make a signifi- 
cant dent in crimes committed with some 
of the estimated 250,000 to 300,000 guns 
stolen from homes each year. How many 
lost lives does that translate to? “That’s a 
sound question for which we should have 
an answer,” he says. “We lack data. The 
reason we lack data is politics.” The United 
States should collect data on gun fatalities 
just as it does on auto fatalities to craft 
better preventive policies, he says, but in 
the past few years, the NRA has used its 
influence in Congress to repeatedly cur- 
tail funding for research by the Centers for 
Disease Control and Prevention that would 
have gathered that information. 

For those who saw gun deaths as a public 
health crisis, there was hope they could force 
gun manufacturers to incorporate smart-gun 
tech through litigation, just as car companies 
had been pressured to offer air bags amid a 
congressional stalemate on the issue. “That's 
why the National Rifle Association came up 
with the idea of getting Congress to give them 
immunity from liability,” says Teret. In 2005, 
president George W. Bush signed the Protec- 
tion of Lawful Commerce in Arms Act, giving 
gun makers far-reaching immunity from lia- 
bility litigation. The NRA's fingerprints were 
“all over this. There’s no question this was 
their doing. They got Congress to agree 
that gun manufacturers could not be sued 
for damage done to people by guns, except 
under highly restricted circumstances,” Teret 
says. “No other manufacturer has immunity 
from liability for damages caused by its prod- 
uct if the product was made in a way that was 
less safe than it could be.” 

Nineteen years ago, Teret helped draft a 
New Jersey law that would require all guns 
sold in the state to use smart-gun technol- 
ogy within three years of the first smart gun 
becoming available anywhere in the United 
States. The leading contender to do so has 
been the iP1, a .22-caliber pistol designed 
by the German arms manufacturer Armatix. 
The gun is paired with a wristwatch acti- 
vated by a five-digit PIN and must be within 
10 inches of the watch to fire. But after the 
company announced plans to begin selling 
the gun in California, its U.S. representative, 
Belinda Padilla, faced a wave of harassment: 
Her name and phone number and a photo 
of the location of her post office box were 
posted on an online gun-enthusiast forum, 


WORKS FOR YOU... 
OR YOUR MONEY BACK! 


| Doctor Developed 
\ |j Male Enhancement 


3-STAGE SEXUAL RESPONSE: 


a 


LONGER PE RFORMANCE & STAMINA" 


D SOFT-GELS 
T-ACTING LIQUI 
75 FAST CARY SUPPLEMENT 


Available for purchase with coupon in fine stores 
everywhere or online at: 


www.appliednutrition.com 
Enter Coupon Code: 012028 


LIBIDO-MAX for MEN 
75 Count ONLY 


MANUFACTURERS COUPON 


tion activity) a 
in Naturals, 1Fa 


0363-012028 


П] 
1 
1 


1 
! 
! 
1 
1 
1 
І 
1 


mm 


PLAYBOY 


110 


and she began to get menacing calls. Padilla 
reportedly had an agreement with the owner 
of a California gun club to sell the iP1. But 
after the club’s owner, James Mitchell, told 
The Washington Post the gun would revolu- 
tionize the industry, a wave of social-media 
threats to boycott the club killed the deal. 

“They tried to put the product on the 
market, and the market reacted,” Lawrence 
G. Keane of the National Shooting Sports 
Foundation told The New York Times. 

But Dr. Garen Wintemute, head of the 
Violence Prevention Research Program at 
the University of California, Davis school 
of medicine, takes issue with that charac- 
terization. “A small vocal group acted to 
intimidate a single store that was bringing a 
new product to the market,” he says. “That’s 
not the market speaking. That's tyranny.” 

In the wake of the Sandy Hook shooting, 
President Barack Obama declared an exec- 
utive order to spur support for smart-gun 
research. Silicon Valley entrepreneur Ron 
Conway, an initial investor in everything 
from Google to Facebook, offered $1 mil- 
lion in prize money for the development of 
what he described as “the iPhone of guns.” 
The race to build that is global. Ireland-based 
TriggerSmart teamed with researchers at the 
Georgia Tech Research Institute in Ireland to 
develop a prototype gun that can be fired only 
when in the presence of an RFID-equipped 
ring or bracelet. The company hopes to cre- 
ate the ability to remotely disable guns in 
airports, schools and other areas. California 
company Yardarm has created a gun that can 
be remotely tracked and disengaged by the 
owner via an app or a website. The technol- 
ogy can even alert the owner if the weapon is 
moved by an unauthorized individual. 

Critics argue smart technology could mal- 
function just when a gun is needed most. 
They point to the New Jersey statute as an 
example of how the technology could fur- 
ther the gun-control agenda, resulting in a 
ban on all nonsmart guns. 

“I think part of the appeal of guns in 
general is that they’re not smart,” says 
gun-industry analyst Andrea James. “Key 
to some of the appeal of firearms themselves 
is the sense of freedom they give you. When 
you pull the trigger, if there’s a bullet in 
the chamber, the bullet comes out. You start 


putting in an RFID chip, then all of a sud- 
den, whether or not a bullet comes out, it’s 
controlled by something other than your fin- 
ger. And if that can be controlled on a micro 
level, it can be controlled on a macro level.” 
The only objections to smart guns come 
from “Luddites who are afraid of any new 
technology,” says Teret. “It would be wrong 
to say these guns will be 100 percent reli- 
able.” But they will be more reliable than 
the status quo. “If you introduce electronics 
into the products, the products are going to 
be more reliable. That has been the trend 
with all products for many decades. What's 
remarkable is that guns are still made the way 
they were made more than a century ago.” 
The Armatix iP1 eventually found a home 
at a gun store in Nebraska, which should 
have started the three-year time clock for all 
guns sold in New Jersey to incorporate the 
technology. But the state’s attorney general 
issued a report denying that the 1Р1 meets 
the statutory definition of a smart gun. 
Teret calls the attorney general’s reasoning 
“squirrelly” and says it violates the legisla- 
tion’s intent. A bill similar to New Jersey’s 
has stalled in the California State Assembly. 


For Wilson’s part, he sees legislation around 
smart guns, like legislation mandating emis- 
sions standards for smart cars, as “a political 
contrivance,” gun control masquerading as 
gun safety. “You’re forcing your own vision 
of the future,” he says. “They’re not willing 
to say they want to take it away from you, 
but they kind of look with turned-up lips 
and use market language. Just have an ide- 
ology if you’re going to have one. Tell me 
what you want.” 

When I press him on whether he thinks 
technology will inevitably put a gun in the 
hands of anyone who wants one, he con- 
cedes that it is in part a strategic posture. 
“Tm trying to rep that position when I’m in 
front of the enemy. Do I really believe that? 
No, I don’t think I’m convinced of this. But 
I'm trying to be the monster or the mascot 
for that idea.” For Wilson, liberty is the high- 
est principle and the ultimate end. “Why 
isn’t liberty the default position?” 

Wilson’s bullish posture naturally invites 
the question of how far he thinks things 


WEVE BEEN MARRIED 
AYEAR AND I'VE TOLD 
YOU_HOW MANY LOVERS 
ГУЕ HAD. WHY WON'T 
YOU TELL ME P 


should be allowed to go. After the release 
of the Liberator, a libertarian writer friend 
of mine, Conor Friedersdorf, penned a 
piece for The Orange County Register in 
which he voiced hope that the democrati- 
zation of technology would hinder tyrants 
and strengthen individual rights, but he also 
feared it would put weapons more power- 
ful than guns “in the hands of evil people 
more cheaply and easily than ever before.” 

I put one of Friedersdorf’s questions to 
Wilson: If a chemistry set allowed anyone 
to make a contagious virus with the capacity 
to kill millions, should it be outlawed and 
suppressed? Wilson looks at it in context. 
Since 9/11 the Department of Justice has 
“locked down all of the chemical industry,” 
he says. “You can’t just go buy supplies. You 
get reported on. Everybody’s an agent of 
the court.” He compares it to another ques- 
tion he is frequently asked: If you can 3-D 
print a gun, why shouldn't we 3-D print a 
nuclear weapon? “It’s not the same thing as 
carving a hole in a piece of metal like we’re 
doing with our little machine.” But hold his 
feet to the fire, and on principle, his answer 
is that neither technology should be sup- 
pressed by the state. “The liberty interest 
should always prevail,” he says. 

It’s National Gun Violence Awareness 
Day, he says, showing me a photo of Jason 
Bateman wearing orange. But he sneers at 
the idea that celebrity activism can stop the 
coming anarchy. 

“Biohacking by computers should happen; 
people should be able to experiment. Terri- 
ble things are coming,” he says. “People are 
going to play with whatever future is saved. 
Kids are going to be able to experiment with 
gene sequences, and it will be terrifying. I’m 
sorry, it’s just where it’s going.” 

He’s comfortable with his own 
contradictions. 

“All the power in this gun thing is: Look 
at what I’m able to evoke. I’m able to rattle 
the chain—back to people’s deepest feel- 
ings about what America was supposed to 
be, about where history was supposed to go 
and what patriotism is and what it means to 
be a free man. I’m able to do that just with 
this one little object.” 


OKA LETS SEE 
ONE, TWO, THREE, 
FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, 
EIGHT, NINE, YOU, TEN, 
ELEVEN, TWELVE. 


[à 


INTRODUCING 
PLAYBOY COLLECTOR S EDITION ART TOYS 


SELECT TOYS AVAILABLE NOW | COARTISM.COM 


y 


PLAYBOY 


112 


JEFF GARLIN 


Continued from page 70 


GARLIN: It’s never horrifying to be on- 
stage, ever—even when I’m bombing. 
I’m totally comfortable onstage no mat- 
ter what’s going on. I have more anxiety 
about going to bed at night than I do 
about going onstage. I am loaded with 
anxiety, but I seem laid-back because I 
don’t take others down with me. That 
means if I’m feeling full of anxiety or 
I’m not in a good mood or I'm tired, 


that's not anybody else's problem; it's my 
problem. ГЇЇ keep it my problem. I won't 
make it your problem. 


Q15 

PLAYBOY: What’s your anxiety about? 
GARLIN: It’s mostly free-flowing anxiety. 
It just comes from anywhere and every- 
where. It could be anything, like some- 
thing I said that afternoon. I don’t think 
I ever say anything that I don’t regret, 
ever. On the other hand I’m rarely hor- 
rified by what I say onstage. I’m only 
horrified by what I say offstage. Onstage 
is what it is. You know, offstage ГЇЇ have 
conversations with people and ГЇЇ drive 
home thinking, Why did you say that? 
What purpose did that serve? Who’s bet- 
ter because of it? I can be very hard on 
myself in that way. 


Q16 
PLAYBOY: What was childhood like? 
GARLIN: 1 had undiagnosed ADD. My 
friend's parents were social workers, and 
they suggested that I had it. Then I went to 
a neurologist as an adult. We went through 


“Believe me—1 know an illegal immigrant when I see one.” 


everything, and I was a big bowl of ADD. It 
was a relief. It’s still a constant struggle for 
me to deal with it, between my anxiety, my 
ADD and my depression. But I’m laid-back 
and happy in spite of that. I really enjoy 
things, but it can be hard. Plenty of nights I 
don’t fall asleep until four in the morning, 
and I go to bed at 10. 


17 
PLAYBOY: The е... were first known 
for, Curb Your Enthusiasm, is very different 
from The Goldbergs in that it’s pretty dark. 
Did it ever get to you? 
GARLIN: No, no, no. It’s so funny. I only 
thought of our situations on Curb Your En- 
thusiasm as, All right, I’m here; I’m ready to 
go. What’s for lunch? 


Q18 
PLAYBOY: Speaking of Curb Your Enthusiasm, 
will we ever see new episodes? 
GARLIN: I think there might be. I’m doing 
The Goldbergs, but I’m allowed contractu- 
ally to do more Curb. 


Q19 

PLAYBOY: You make a lot of jokes about 
your body. Is that just shtick, or do you 
think about your body a lot? 

GARLIN: You're wrong saying 1 do a lot of 
physical-insecurity jokes. I’m a very con- 
fident man, but those aren't jokes. That's 
just me talking about my feelings. They 
happen to be funny because I’m funny. 
Here, I can give you a perspective that 
just hit me. 1 follow different friends 
on Instagram. A friend was vacationing 
in Mexico, a young guy in his 30s. He's 
one of the directors on The Goldbergs. 1 
love this kid. His name is David Katzen- 
berg. But he instagrammed a picture of 
himself in a shallow pool. I don't want 
to insult him, but it's not like he's studly. 
He's built like a regular guy. I looked at 
him, and he's just lying there so relaxed, 
and I thought, I have never felt that way. 
There's never been a moment in my life 
when physically I'd be lying by a pool or 
on the beach and I didn’t think I was fat. 
I’m very comfortable with my body, but 
still I never feel good ever, ever. 


Q20 

PLAYBOY: Some of the entries on your 
IMDb page might startle people. For in- 
stance, you were on an episode of Baywatch. 
GARLIN: I did Baywatch. It was the first job 
I had when I moved to L.A. with my wife. 
I was an evil disc jockey who takes over 
the beach. I didn’t try to make it better, 
because you can’t make Baywatch better— 
I said all the lines as written. When the 
producer asked if I'd be interested, I 
said, "I'd love to be on. It's pretty col- 
ors and bosoms. Who doesn’t like that?” 
And I worked with David Hasselhoff. It’s 
my best acting and my worst acting. It’s 
my worst acting because I’m not a good 
enough actor to rise above bad mate- 
rial. But it’s my best acting because I did 
scenes with David Hasselhoff yelling at 
me and I didn't laugh. 


Have the best sex you've ever had - NOW! 


Highly Erotic. Shows Real Couples Demonstrating Real Sexual Techniques. 


| = EO. ee 


M 


A 


[ШЇ ТШ 


WINNER 
TELLY AWARD 


SSSS Award of 
Excellence 


AA | 
buy THESES ва FREEI 


пата 


TAS 


SE TO PLEASE 
YOUR LOVE) 


529.95 412 


For fastest service: 


2 EROTIC INDULGENCES: WET, WILD € WICKED: — » ORDER TODAY АТ BetterSex.com® 
al Expand the boundaries of sexual play and fantasy. ? [ 8PB280 | [Search WE, 
A NUM ] 

s| INCREDIBLE ORGASMS: i | " wg Enter code 8PB280 into the search box for this amazing offer. 
&| Unlock mysteries for amazing orgasms. PI n Or, call 24 hours a day * 7 days a week: 
s BETTER SEX? GUIDE TO GREAT ORAL SEX: س ل ل س‎ 6 TU —— ч 
=f The world’s greatest oral sex techniques for him & her. METHOD OF PAYMENT: Check (AVISA UMC UO Discover AMEX Money Order 

! CARD#: EXP. DATE — 
x) EXPLORING GUILTY PLEASURES: | oenn ме BETEN LENE EVER: | 
е Intensify your sexual satisfaction with erotic Lome [i $29.95 SIGNATURE 
GP movies, sensual fantasies, and more. | 3 EE RSE REE) | 

РО$ТАСЕ & 

ni | HANDLING NAME | 
= THE BETTER SEX® GUIDE TO ANAL PLEASURE: 
=f Tricks and tips for anal eroticism to help you reach new есе au á 

' heights of pleasure. | | App $2 ШИБЕ | 
ol NC orders add 
c) TOYS FOR BETTER SEX: | | 6.75% sales tax | 
a) Real couples demonstrate the joys of toys. SEBETA CITY STATE ZIP 

\ | Sorry - no cash or C.0.D. | 
ZA 32 WAYS TO PLEASE YOUR LOVER: : Е | - 
2 Keep it spicy with fun and creative positions and techniques. jc Баат Institute (PRED), РО Box 8265, Chapel Hill: КО 618 


Sinclair Institute (8РВ280), PO Box 8865, Chapel Hill, NC 27515 • To protect your privacy, your order will be packaged and delivered discreetly. 


PLAYBOY 


114 


4 


THE MOST IMPORTANT MAN IN SPORTS 


Continued from page 67 


a talented high school gymnast on whom 
he’d operated 20 years earlier who had 
written him a letter saying her elbow was 
bothering her again. And Andrews, clearly 
pained that the letter had been forwarded 
to him after several months and worried 
she might think he was ignoring her, called 
her persistently. 

So that Monday morning, Andrews 
talked with decathlete Curtis Beach and 
told him he could have the surgery to his 
elbow and hope it would work out, or he 
could give up the decathlon and just con- 
centrate on his best event, the 800 meters, 
or he could retire entirely and move on. 
He suggested that Beach and his mama 
go have a cup of coffee and think it over. 
He was honest. He said the surgery was no 
guarantee Beach would be able to throw the 
javelin again. The procedure was difficult, a 


challenge. He would usually harvest a ten- 
don from the forearm for the repair, but be- 
cause of the arm damage, he would have to 
harvest one from the leg instead, and that 
could have an effect on Beach’s sprinting. 
But then he added that he liked challenges, 
welcomed them, and told Beach what he 
tells nearly all his patients: He doesn’t want 
him to give up his dreams. Not just yet. 


James Andrews knows a thing or two about 
broken dreams. He was born in New Or- 
leans, where his father was stationed in the 
early days of World War II. When his father 
shipped out to Europe, his mother moved 
baby James and his sister to his maternal 
grandparents’ cotton and vegetable farm 
in Claiborne Parish in northern Louisiana. 
Andrews says from that point on he was 
destined to be a sports doctor. His grand- 
daddy Nolen had wanted to be a doctor 
himself but had only a first-grade educa- 
tion, so he satisfied his ambitions by admin- 
istering salves and lotions and potions and 
various concoctions to his farmhands and 
neighbors—sort of a local medicine man. 
Granddaddy Nolen would rock Andrews 
on the front porch and talk about the boy’s 
future. That was the medicine part. 

The sports part came when Andrews's fa- 
ther returned from the service and set up 
a dry-cleaning business in nearby Homer. 
There were only a few thousand inhabitants 
in Homer, but they all shared one obsession: 
sports. The social life of the town revolved 
around its high school teams, basically, as 


“Т would love to throw myself on the mercy of the court...if you 
know what I mean!” 


Andrews puts it, because people didn’t have 
much else to do. The Homer football team 
had only 18 players during Andrews's high 
school years, so they couldn't even scrim- 
mage, and the school was so small that the 
players had to march in the band during 
halftime to fill it out. But they fought their 
way to the state championship game and 
lost to a much larger school. 

Andrews's dad was in the thick of it. He'd 
been playing football at Northwestern State 
University of Louisiana when he was drafted, 
ending his athletic dreams. In Homer, he 
channeled those dreams into coaching and 
rooting. Young James was a superb ath- 
lete. He played football, baseball and bas- 
ketball, but he was small, 150 pounds, and 
(thanks to his father’s prodding) gravitated 
to pole-vaulting, for which he won the Loui- 
siana state high school championship. That 
earned him a scholarship to Louisiana State 
University, where he won the SEC indoor 
and outdoor pole-vaulting championships 
and began dreaming of the Olympics. 

But at the end of Andrews's sophomore 
year, his father suffered a heart attack. He 
was convalescing when doctors discovered 
lung cancer that had metastasized. He died 
quickly. Although Andrews still had two 
years of college remaining, he applied to 
the LSU medical school, already deter- 
mined to become a sports doctor. He was 
admitted, he says, because the school gave 
special dispensations to athletes and even 
paid for their medical education. “I was 
damn lucky, man,” he says. He hated giv- 
ing up sports, and he brought his poles to 
medical school, hoping he might still com- 
pete. He never did. 

That dream was gone, just as his 
father's had been, and the loss still hurts. 
So Andrews appreciates firsthand that his 
practice isn't about ligaments or muscles or 
bone. He knows it's all about those dreams. 
Or as one of his protégés, Dr. Jeffrey 
Dugas, says of the job, “We manage hope.” 


When Andrews, wearing blue scrubs with 
the pants bottoms tucked into white rub- 
ber rain boots, enters one of his four oper- 
ating rooms—arrayed two to a side behind 
large plate-glass windows and divided by 
a wide viewing area—there is absolutely 
no question who is in command. He stud- 
ies the X-ray, sits down on a stool next to 
the operating table and gets to work. He 
moves quickly, as if he has done this thou- 
sands of times before, which he has—about 
45,000 times. The first operation is a rou- 
tine Tommy John. He uses an arthroscope, 
which is a fiber-optic probe he can insert 
through a small incision into the elbow 
so he doesn't have to open up the entire 
joint. He can see the inside of the elbow 
on a large screen above the table, which 
means he isn't looking directly at where he 
is operating. Surgeons call it triangulation, 
and it is a skill, one orthopedic surgeon 
tells me, that you really can't learn. You 
either have it or you don't. Andrews is one 
of the best—a triangulation maestro. “He 
always said he could probably eat lunch 
and be talking and looking up there but 
never looking at the patient, and he could 


be doing the case perfectly,” says a surgeon 
who trained under Andrews. 

Andrews finishes the Tommy John in 
under half an hour, threading the graft 
through a small drill hole in the bone 
like a deft tailor. Then the window fogs 
over mechanically so observers don’t see 
the closing. He emerges into the viewing 
area, takes a brief respite by collapsing on 
a couch and sipping a coffee, then gathers 
himself, gets up and heads into the next 
operating room for an ACL. There will be 
another couple of Tommy Johns and an- 
other ACL among the nine surgeries he will 
perform that day, and after each, he plops 
on the couch for 10 minutes or so, sips that 
coffee, then gets up for the next operation. 
But these are the easy ones—the prelunch 
ones—the ones he can practically do in his 
sleep. These aren't the ones that keep him 
up. The hard ones are yet to come. 


Back in the 1960s, when Andrews attended 
medical school, sports medicine wasn’t yet 
a specialty. All you could do was train as 
an orthopedist, which is what Andrews 
did, and hope to work on sports injuries. 
But during his second year of residency at 
Tulane, he was watching a slide show about 
acute knee injuries and saw a photo of 
Dr. Jack Hughston of Columbus, Georgia, 
standing in front of the Auburn University 
sign at the campus entrance. Hughston 
was Auburn’s team physician, and in that 
eureka moment Andrews said to him- 
self, Man, there’s my guy. So Andrews 
phoned Hughston cold and asked if he 
could shadow him on the weekends when 
Hughston covered Friday-night high 
school games, often operating on injured 
players Saturday mornings, and then соу- 
ered Saturday-afternoon Auburn games. 
By the end of the year, Andrews had con- 
vinced both Hughston and his residency 
chief to let him spend his third year of 
residency in Columbus, studying under 
Hughston. “It was the greatest year of my 
life, as far as what I learned,” Andrews says. 
But Andrews didn’t want to be just a 
sports surgeon. He made no bones about 
wanting to be the very best sports surgeon. 
When he finished his residency, he essen- 
tially went into training, just like a promis- 
ing athlete. Dragging his wife and young 
children behind him, he took a fellowship 
with Dr. Frank McCue III, who was the 
team doctor for the University of Virginia 
and who specialized in hands and upper ex- 
tremities. After that, Andrews immediately 
took another fellowship, this time in France 
under Dr. Albert Trillat, who had operated 
on Olympic skier Jean-Claude Killy and on 
many of Europe’s top soccer players. 
When he returned from France, 
Andrews went back to Columbus to prac- 
tice with Hughston. They were a great 
team, but they weren’t exactly peas in a 
pod. Hughston was a fastidious man, for- 
mal to Andrews’s informality, and was 
brusque and unappreciative to his staff. 
Andrews says he learned from that too, 
developing his own easy manner and his 
graciousness to colleagues as a reaction. 
Still, in his day Hughston was the closest 


thing there was to the James Andrews of 
today. Just about his entire practice was 
sports, especially football players. And 
Andrews found himself right in the middle 
of it—tending to those high school players 
on Friday nights and Saturday mornings, 
then flying his Cessna 182 to three or four 
college football games at what he calls “piss- 
ant schools” in Georgia or Alabama that 
nobody else cared about, schools like Troy 
State and Livingston and North Alabama, 
where he would serve as the team physician 
and where injured players would pile into 
a van and be driven three or four hours to 
Columbus so Andrews could operate on 
them, then let them convalesce in his home 
with his wife cooking them meals, before 
driving them back to school. He followed 
that routine for 13 years—years during 
which he became like a son to Hughston. 
In that time his reputation began to rise. 
But there was a problem. Andrews came to 
realize that the old man saw his protégé as a 
threat. He decided he had to leave the prac- 
tice. Hospitals all across the South had been 
courting him. One of them, a hospital in Bir- 
mingham, flew him and his wife into town on 
a private jet and offered to build him a facili- 
ty of his own. Andrews was flattered but wary 
about competing with a friend of his who 
practiced in Birmingham, sports surgeon 
Larry Lemak. Instead, the two agreed to 
team up, and Lemak’s own hospital agreed 
to build them a new clinic, complete with a 
biomechanics lab and a building for a sports- 
research foundation Andrews wanted. 
Andrews left Columbus. And Jack 
Hughston, who was “madder than hell” about 
Andrews leaving, never forgave him for it. 


Now comes the hard part. Andrews sits on 
a stool and hunches over the table, focus- 
ing intently through his wire-rim glasses. 
No more arthroscope or screen. These are 
“open” surgeries, which require that he 
open up the arm to do the work—surgeries 
in which there is more drilling, more 
threading, more moving of muscle, more 
attachments, more everything. These are the 
surgeries that require Andrews to rely on 
his experience and intuition, because he is 
in uncharted territory. There is Brian Hen- 
ninger’s ruptured ligament, the one pulled 
clean off the bone, for which Andrews has 
to harvest a graft and then attach it. This 
one takes awhile because the damage is so 
severe, though Andrews works quickly, his 
hands fairly flying. (“He has the best hands 
in the business,” says one of his former fel- 
lows.) And when he is done, he does what he 
always does after each successful surgery: He 
turns to the window and signals “thumbs- 
up” to the observers. Then the window fogs 
again, Andrews emerges again, collapses 
onto the couch again, rises again and heads 
into the next operating room again. 

Lying there on the table is the young 
minor league pitcher whose ligament was 
torn a second time after a Tommy John and 
whose muscle was ripped away. Andrews 
isn't sure he can save this one. It's another 
long surgery—one that, with the drilling 
and screws, looks more like carpentry than 
a medical procedure. Andrews never looks 


curve. Can be worn off-the-shoulder. 
Pink or purple. Simply gorgeous! 


$29 only $21.95! 
$34 only $25.95! 


Order Gift 96351 • 800.505.6730 


Regular 
Queen Size 


panties.com 


...the gift that touches her when you can't 


2 


X When your mission 
is beyond missionary. 


LIBERATOR 


BEDROOM ADVENTURE GEAR 


liberator.com 


115 


PLAYBOY 


116 


CREDITS: COVER AND P. 5: MODEL: SIMONE 
HOLTZNAGEL, PHOTOGRAPHY BY GAVIN 
BOND, CREATIVE DIRECTION BY MAC LEWIS, 
HAIR BY DAVID KEOUGH AT ART DEPART- 
MENT, MAKEUP BY ALLAN AVENDANO USING 
M.A.C. COSMETICS FOR OPUS BEAUTY, PHOTO 
DIRECTION BY REBECCA BLACK, STYLING 
BY CYDNEY GRIGGS CULLEN. PHOTOGRA- 
PHY BY: P. 3 COURTESY ERIC ALT, COURTESY 
JULIA BAINBRIDGE, COURTESY CHRIS BUCK, 
COURTESY JESSICA OGILVIE, COURTESY JAKE 
ROSSEN, COURTESY WILLIAM WHEELER, 
BRANDON DERITIS, MICHAEL MULLER, MAT- 
THEW RICHMOND; P. 6 MICHAEL BERNARD, 
CHRIS BUCK, PAUL SIRISALEE; P. 10 COUR- 
TESY FOX BUSINESS NETWORK, COURTESY 
HUGH HEFNER/INSTAGRAM, COURTESY DANI 
MATHERS, GETTY IMAGES FOR PLAYBOY (4); 
P. 11 GETTY IMAGES FOR PLAYBOY, RAYMOND 
HALL/GC IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES, KENNETH 
JOHANSSON, ELAYNE LODGE, MEREDITH 
NIERMAN FOR WGBH © WGBH 2014, CHAD 
SALVADOR AND CAMRON HATEF/POLITE IN 
PUBLIC INC.; Р. 12 EDEL RODRIGUEZ, BRIAN 
STAUFFER; Р. 13 SASHA EISENMAN; Р. 18 
MICHAEL OCHS ARCHIVES/GETTY IMAGES; P. 
19 COURTESY NASA, SHUTTERSTOCK; P. 20 
COURTESY COMEDY CENTRAL/JASON NOCITO; 
P. 21 O BECOMING BY CINDY CRAWFORD, 
RIZZOLI NEW YORK, 2015; P. 28 COURTESY 
THE LONE STAR, PAUL BRISSMAN, O JS CAL- 
LAHAN/TROPICALPIX/ALAMY, © MICHAEL S. 
YAMASHITA/CORBIS; P. 30 COURTESY ALFA 
ROMEO (2); Р. 32 COURTESY © HBO, COUR- 
TESY © IFC FILMS, COURTESY © TWENTIETH 
CENTURY FOX FILM CORPORATION/AIDAN 
MONAGHAN, TOMMASO BODDI/WIREIMAGE/ 
GETTY IMAGES; P. 33 COURTESY HARPERCOL- 
LINS, COURTESY KONAMI, ALICE BAXLEY/PR, 
KATA VERMES © 2015 CARNIVAL FILMS FOR 
BBC TWO AND BBC AMERICA; P. 36 COURTESY 
APPLE INC., COURTESY BALTIMORE RAVENS, 
COURTESY COLUMBIA PICTURES, COURTESY 
DALLAS COWBOYS, COURTESY © NBC, COUR- 
TESY NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS, COURTESY 
NEW YORK GIANTS, COURTESY NEW YORK 
JETS, © 2015 THE ANDY WARHOL FOUNDATION 
FOR THE VISUAL ARTS INC/ARTISTS RIGHTS 
SOCIETY NEW YORK, KEVIN MAZUR/GETTY 
IMAGES FOR DIRECTV, SHUTTERSTOCK (12); 
Р. 50 SHUTTERSTOCK; PP. 50-51 COURTESY 
ARMATIX; P. 52 AP PHOTO/AUSTIN AMERI- 
CAN-STATESMAN/JAY JANNER, O MICHAELA 
REHLE/REUTERS/CORBIS, SEBASTIAN WID- 
MANN/GETTY IMAGES; P. 62 COURTESY 
SYNAPSE FILMS/MANOSINHD.COM (5); P. 67 © 
TOMASSO DEROSA/CORBIS, FOCUS ON SPORT/ 
GETTY IMAGES; P. 85 JOEL BISSELL, JOSHUA 
DEMUTH/DISTRACTION PHOTOGRAPHY; P. 86 
CHASE GAEWSKI FOR THE DAILY ORANGE, 
JGR PHOTOGRAPHY; P. 87 JASON PARKHURST/ 
SPORTS ILLUSTRATED/GETTY IMAGES, 
LUKAS KEAPPROTH; P. 124 COURTESY UNI- 
VERSITY OF TUBINGEN, GEORGE EASTMAN 
HOUSE/GETTY IMAGES, © SCIENCE MUSEUM/ 
SCIENCE & SOCIETY PICTURE LIBRARY, SHUT- 
TERSTOCK; P. 125 COURTESY OCULUS VR, 
SHUTTERSTOCK; Р. 126 COURTESY COMEDY 
CENTRAL, GAVIN BOND (2), JOHN GURZINSKI/ 
AFP/GETTY IMAGES. P. 125 ILLUSTRATION BY 
SIR REEBOK SPECKLEFART. P. 45 GROOMING 
BY CHERI KEATING AT THE WALL GROUP; PP. 
68-70 GROOMING BY LAUREN KAYE COHEN AT 
TRACEY MATTINGLY, PROP STYLING BY CYD- 
NEY GRIGGS CULLEN, STYLING BY SHIRLEY 
KURATA; PP. 72-81 CREATIVE DIRECTION BY 
MAC LEWIS, HAIR BY JORGE SERRANO AT THE 
ONLY AGENCY, MAKEUP BY ERIN LEE SMITH 
AT ATELIER MANAGEMENT, PRODUCTION BY 
STEPHANIE MORRIS, STYLING BY LESLIE 
LESSIN AT BRYDGES MACKINNEY; PP. 92-100 
ASSOCIATE PRODUCER MIRIAM BAPTISTA, 
HAIR, MAKEUP AND STYLING BY VALISSA 
YOE, PRODUCTION BY STEPHANIE MORRIS; 
P. 96 CLOTHING BY GASOLINE GLAMOUR EYE- 
WEAR, CLASHIST SWIMSUIT; Р. 98 CLOTHING 
BY ILLESTEVA EYEWEAR, RECKLESS WOLF 
BRA AND PANTY. 


up. He concentrates fully. The pitcher’s 
physical therapist is watching through the 
window, and it is tense—another dream on 
the line. And then, after close to an hour— 
an hour in which Andrews doesn’t seem to 
make a single wasted motion—he finally 
turns his head to the window and flashes 
the sign: thumbs-up. 


One would like to say everything was 
thumbs-up for Andrews himself when in 
1986, at the age of 44—not exactly a kid 
anymore—he left Columbus for Birming- 
ham. But there was a hiccup. It turned out 
there wasn’t enough money to build the new 
hospital Andrews had been promised, which 
antagonized an ambitious health entrepre- 
neur named Richard Scrushy, who had 
agreed to provide Andrews with physical 
therapists. Scrushy got so frustrated with the 
hospital’s foot-dragging that he finally decid- 
ed to have his company, HealthSouth, buy 
the hospital and build Andrews his $50 mil- 
lion addition. The wing went up in less than 
a year. Andrews designed the whole thing. 

And that is when the practice really 
started to take off. Andrews says modestly 
that he was “in the right place at the right 
time”—but it wasn’t all luck. It was that 
Southern charm of his and his emotional 
connection to the athletes. Former patients 
remembered Andrews fondly. A number of 
the baseball players Andrews had treated in 
the minor leagues were now major leaguers, 
and they not only came to Andrews, they 
recommended him to friends and team- 
mates. A number of those college football 
players, including a few from the “pissant” 
schools, were now in the NFL, and they 
made recommendations too. 

But what turned Birmingham into the 
Lourdes for injured athletes was what An- 
drews calls “signature patients”—big names 
who brought Andrews big recognition in the 
sports world and in the media. One of the 
first was golfer Jerry Pate, who hailed from 
Alabama and on whom Andrews would op- 
erate six or seven times to repair a recurrent 
shoulder problem. Pate spread the word. 
Another was Jack Nicklaus, on whose knee 
Andrews operated. Nicklaus sent everyone 
he knew with orthopedic issues to Andrews, 
and the two remain good friends. 

The biggest, however, was a strapping 
young Boston pitcher who had suddenly 
and inexplicably lost velocity. The Red Sox 
team physician couldn't figure out why. It 
was the pitcher's agent, Randy Hendricks, 
who heard about Andrews and directed 
his client to Columbus, when Andrews was 
still working with Hughston, to have the 
doctor take a look. Andrews quickly deter- 
mined that the pitcher had a torn labrum 
in his shoulder. He scoped him. Eight 
months later, Roger Clemens was striking 
out 20 batters in a game, and Andrews had 
decamped to Birmingham. As Andrews 
puts it, “Roger is the kind of guy who tells 
all of his buddies where to go, what to do." 
Andrews says it changed his life. 

After Clemens, the floodgates opened. 
Andrews was seeing up to 60 patients on 
his clinic days and performing more than 
40 operations a week. He became known 


as a miracle worker. When Bo Jackson, the 
two-sport pro athlete, wrecked his hip dur- 
ing a Raiders game and needed a hip re- 
placement, Andrews, who knew him from 
Auburn, helped fix it. (Jackson's contract 
stipulated that he could circumvent the 
team physician and go directly to Andrews.) 
When young Clippers point guard Shaun 
Livingston suffered a multiple-ligament 
injury to his knee—“More like a football 
injury," Andrews says—and Livingston's 
career seemed over, Andrews fixed him. 
Perhaps the biggest testament to Andrews 
is that he became the team physician simul- 
taneously for Auburn and its chief rival, 
Alabama, roles that to this day necessitate 
that he fly to Auburn games every Satur- 
day and then, after the final gun, fly to Ala- 
bama games. He wears a diamond-studded 
Auburn 2013 SEC championship ring on 
his right ring finger. 

Those were the good times, and they 
lasted nearly 20 years. He had a ster- 
ling reputation, a wife he loved and six 
children—all of whose names begin with 
A, for the alliteration. And to top it off, 
Scrushy had decided to move him to a 
brand-new $300 million state-of-the-art, 
all-digital facility. But the ride wasn't quite 
over. It turned out there were still a few 
more speed bumps ahead. 


It is Thursday and Andrews is off to San 
Antonio for a graduation ceremony, but he 
always seems to be flying off somewhere in 
his Citation III, be it to a game or a confer- 
ence. One season he toted up all the football 
games he and his wife had attended; it came 
to 55. He works every week of the year ex- 
cept Christmas, and he spends much of that 
week watching football games on TV and 
wincing when a player goes down, knowing 
he might be called to action. 

Andrews isn't working tirelessly because 
he needs the money. His wealth has been 
estimated at $14 million. He can't rest, be- 
cause when you dig far enough, you find 
that folksy demeanor hides a deep com- 
petitive streak. Andrews once raced yachts 
with great success, and he even headed 
an America's Cup syndicate. Medicine, 
though, is where he has really channeled 
the competitiveness that he sacrificed when 
he gave up pole-vaulting—not competi- 
tion against other doctors but competition 
against those dream-threatening injuries. 
He won't say it, of course, but a man who 
has been around athletes all his life is on a 
mission. He is out to be the Michael Jordan 
or the Peyton Manning or the Jack Nick- 
laus of sports medicine. He isn't content to 
do surgeries. He wants to change the entire 
face of sports medicine so that no one ever 
has to surrender his or her dreams again. 

Part of that effort is the research Andrews 
has done and part is a fellows program he 
initiated with Hughston that now has 350 
alumni, many of them team physicians. But 
the part that seems nearest to his heart is the 
effort to prevent youth injuries, which he says 
have increased tenfold since 2000. He calls 
this his passion. Andrews is adamant that 
the reason there are so many Tommy John 
surgeries today—more than 40 in the major 


and minor leagues this year—is that kids 
like Kody Winner begin throwing too many 
pitches generally and too many breaking 
pitches specifically at too young an age, and 
it catches up with them. So he conducts re- 
search that focuses on children and provides 
guidelines on limits that he thinks should be 
placed on children’s sports, and he has writ- 
ten a book about how to prevent youth sports 
injuries. He calls this his legacy. In effect, he 
would like to put himself out of business. 

But when it comes to legacies right now, 
Andrews’s most visible one is the imposing 
institute that bears his name. It is not some- 
thing he sought. It just happened. He was 
waiting for his new hospital to be finished 
when Scrushy suddenly came under federal 
investigation in 2003 for inflating his com- 
pany’s profits. HealthSouth was over. Eventu- 
ally another hospital moved into the breach, 
but everything was scaled back, and Scrushy’s 
$300 million facility sat unfinished—an 
empty shell. For Andrews, it was crushing. 

And then in January 2006, after flying 
home from treating an injured Redskins 
player after a playoff game, treatment 
that didn’t end until the wee hours of the 
morning, Andrews was taking a shower 
when he began gasping for breath. He was 
rushed to the hospital with a massive heart 
attack—an attack that almost surely would 
have been fatal had there not been, by 
sheer coincidence, a cardiac surgical team 
at the hospital that had just finished work- 
ing on another patient. 

The attack should have been a sign that 
Andrews may not be as easygoing as he 
appears, and it should have been a warn- 
ing for him to slow down. He didn’t, but 
the heart attack did get him to think about 
succession, which prompted him to tap 
two of his favorite fellows to be his heirs. 
“Better than I was,” he says. And that put 
him at loggerheads with his partner, Larry 
Lemak, who had intended to turn the 
practice over to his son. The divide was un- 
bridgeable. So in 2006 Andrews reluctantly 
underwent his second medical divorce. 

By that time a physical therapist named 
Chad Gilliland, who had worked with 
Andrews in Birmingham, had resettled 
in Pensacola and was advising a hospital 
group named Baptist Health Care, which 
wanted to expand its orthopedic services. 
Baptist Health Care asked Gilliland to in- 
vite Andrews to Florida to recommend doc- 
tors it might hire. Gilliland and Andrews 
were in the physicians’ lounge, talking 
about candidates when Andrews blurted, 
“What about me?” 

And so began Andrews’s newest phase. 
He sat down with a yellow pad and wrote 
a wish list of all the things he desired in 
a hospital: not only the operating rooms 
and clinic, but also a biomechanics lab, a 
rehab center and a separate performance- 
enhancement wing where athletes could 
go simply to improve themselves. Baptist 
Health Care committed $50 million to build 
the new facility. It opened in January 2007. 

Andrews said he intended to stay in Bir- 
mingham and visit Pensacola only once a 
week, but the one-day-a-week arrangement 
lasted just a few years. He now spends four 
days a week in Pensacola and one in Bir- 


mingham: Friday. By his own admission, 
he hasn’t lost any enthusiasm or willing- 
ness to learn. He says the next big advance 
in orthopedics will be biologics—stem cells, 
tissue engineering, DNA therapies—and 
there are another 3.5 acres on the Andrews 
Institute campus, on which he hopes to 
build a new lab. “Somebody asked me if I 
feel old,” he says. “I said, ‘No, the only time 
I feel old is when I look in the mirror. So I 
stopped looking in the damn mirror.’” 


Andrews has been operating since seven in 
the morning, and now he comes to Curtis 
Beach, the decathlete with the cracked elbow 
and torn ligament. It’s another open sur- 
gery and another grueling one. If the minor 


PERE ( 
“ad VW Ind 


|! I P | 


— 


ee — 


AN 


Za 


JU THE 


Hir 


T v ATA 
А WS 


league pitcher's surgery was like carpentry, 
this one is more like sculpting. Andrews chis- 
els away at the elbow until a chunk of bone 
the size of a half-dollar falls off. He grabs 
it with a forceps and plunks it into a silver 
tray, then forages back into the elbow, pull- 
ing aside the ulnar nerve that runs like a thin 
rubber tube all the way down the arm. Now 
he has to find a place to attach the graft. He 
finds it, drills the hole and carefully threads 
the ligament. The room is absolutely silent. 
He lays the ulnar nerve over the muscle and 
begins to stitch up, lightning fast, almost 
quicker than the eye can follow. 

Then he turns to the observation win- 
dow, gives his signal, and the glass fogs over. 


| === 


“So what else did you guys do on your summer vacation?” 


117 


PLAYBOY 


118 


THE BATTLE OVER 
THE WORST MOVIE EVER MADE 


Continued from page 62 


from a stack of tapes at the show’s offices. 
“Tt has an atmosphere, a vibe. Why did peo- 
ple latch on to it? I don’t know. It’s like the 
Supreme Court's definition of porn: You'll 
know it when you see it.” 

For a long time no one wanted to see 
it unless it was accompanied by MST3K’s 
taunts. Then, in 2011, a collector of film 
prints uncovered the original negative of 
Manos and embarked on an inexplicable 
project to restore the film with all the white- 
glove attention archivists give to Hollywood 
classics. His efforts would incur the wrath of 
a mysterious man with a fake New Zealand 
accent named Rupert, as well as Joe Warren, 
Hal Warren’s embittered son, who intends to 
preserve the Manos legacy at all costs. 

“J.R.R. Tolkien’s kid catches shit,” Joe 
Warren says, “but he just wants to protect 
his father’s work. Same thing.” 


Hal Warren loved the theater. “He was a 
ham,” says Shelley Connor, his daughter 
from his second marriage. Warren went on 
USO tours during World War II; an early 
adopter of the latest technology, he would film 
his kids getting up on Christmas morning, 
rousing them in the middle of the night for 


a rehearsal before sending them back to bed. 

He was also a hustler, pushing newspa- 
pers before getting into insurance sales. A 
product of the Great Depression, Warren 
dedicated himself to staying one step ahead. 
Once, Connor recalls, a physician turned 
down a deal Warren offered him. Warren 
donned scrubs and followed the man into 
the operating room. 

“He lost the sale,” Connor says. 

Spare moments were spent in the theater. 
Warren, who bore a slight resemblance to 
Vince McMahon minus the gorilla neck, 
often played the heavy in productions that 
lacked polish: One playbill for a Shakespeare 
presentation was titled Makbeth. 

When he settled in El Paso with his third 
wife, a number of things crystallized. He was 
in the desert, which would make a great set- 
ting for either a horror film or a Western; 
he could talk a bunch of repertory actors 
into working for nothing; and if he wrote 
the screenplay, he could portray the hero. 

A rumor persists that Warren once met 
Academy Award-winning screenwriter Stir- 
ling Silliphant and obnoxiously argued that 
“anyone” could produce a film. Silliphant dis- 
agreed. Motivated by ambition, spite or both, 
Warren decided to mount a feature titled The 
Lodge of Sins, inspired by a long-held interest 
in the Freemasons and their ritualistic gath- 
erings. Calling on his salesman persona, he 
raised money from local investors at a reputed 
$700 a share and began to write a script on 
napkins about a husband, wife and daugh- 
ter who take a wrong turn and run into a 
sacrificial cult run by the Master and his dim 
servant, Torgo. For added salaciousness, the 
polygamous Master would have several scant- 
ily clad brides (portrayed by women recruited 
from a local modeling agency) who would 
engage in a free-for-all wrestling match. 

All this was somehow made palatable 
to members of the theater company, who 
agreed to work for a share of the profits. 
Many of them took on multiple responsi- 
bilities. William Jennings, who portrays the 


“Oh hell! Your eyes came out all white!” 


sheriff, served as Warren’s legal counsel and 
president of his Sun City Films banner. Tom 
Neyman, who portrays the Master, was an art- 
ist who painted a large and disturbing portrait 
of his character posing with a dog. Neyman’s 
wife made many of the costumes, including 
the now memorable Master’s robe, a billow- 
ing cloak with two enormous red hands that 
resembles an occult-themed Snuggie. Before 
filming, Neyman asked his daughter, Jackey, 
to play the family’s daughter. 

Warren, then 42, retitled the film Manos: 
The Hands of Fate and shot throughout the 
summer of 1966, hampered considerably 
by the Filmo 70 and his own inexperience. 
The novice director’s production techniques 
were beyond guerrilla. For a human- 
sacrifice scene, Warren dumped piles of 
dirt around a group of old courthouse pil- 
lars on land owned by a lawyer running for 
county judge. (He left the dirt for the law- 
yer’s family to clean up.) Since the cast and 
crew had day jobs, they toiled all night in 
the dark, illuminating some scenes with car 
headlights. If something went awry—and 
virtually everything did—Warren dismissed 
it by claiming they would “fix it in the lab.” 

There was no lab. Still, after six hours of 
editing at a local television station, Warren 
had finally made a movie. It was often out of 
focus, lingered on the backs of actors’ heads 
and featured interminable shots of people 
staring at each other, but it was still a movie. 
He set the premiere for November 15, 1966 
and invited El Paso’s luminaries to fill the 
vinyl turquoise seats at the Capri Theater. 
He rented a limousine and instructed the 
driver to keep circling the block, picking 
up cast members and dropping them off as 
though he had a fleet on standby. He paid 
street urchins to run up to the actors—who 
were and remain virtually anonymous—and 
ask for their autographs. 

The movie started, and the Filmo 70 
immediately proved why it was best relegated 
to Korean War footage. Because it couldn't 
record sound, Warren was forced to over- 
dub the entire film. All the voices were out 
of sync. The editing was a mess. Crew mem- 
bers sneaked away in shame. Warren, whose 
character, the husband and father Michael, 
comes off as an ungracious jerk to the hapless 
Torgo even before the Master’s motives are 
revealed, sank deeper into his seat. 

“Perhaps the most surprising aspect of the 
production,” wrote one El Paso reviewer, “is 
that Hal Warren, who wrote, directed and 
produced and starred in the movie, wrote 
for himself the worst part.” 

Aside from a handful of drive-in engage- 
ments, Manos would disappear for the next 
26 years. Warren distanced himself from 
the theater, never making another movie, 
and continued in sales until his death from 
lung cancer in 1985. He would not live to 
see the film’s resurrection on MST3K, the 
name-drop on an episode of How I Met Your 
Mother or the sincere attachment fans have 
developed toward his fumbled experiment— 
particularly the character of Torgo, who lives 
to please the Master and winds up being 
strangely sympathetic even as he spends a 
good portion of the movie carrying luggage. 
(A troubled Reynolds committed suicide just 
a month before the film’s premiere.) 


QUALITY TOOLS AT RIDICULOUSLY LOW PRICES 


How Does Harbor Freight — 274 SUPER COUPON T2; SUPER COUPON 


Sell GREAT QUALITY Tools i 
| 
О 


is 

І 

at the LOWEST Prices? І 

І 

We have invested millions of І 
I WITH ANY PURCHASE | 
І CENT Ce. 1 

І 

І 

І 

І 

IN" ITEM І 

ANY SINGLE Г I 


quality test labs and millions more 
in our factories, so our tools will go 
toe-to-toe with the top professional 
brands. And we can sell them for 

a fraction of the price because we 
cut out the middle man and pass 


dollars in our own state-of-the-art 
7 FUNCTION , 


DIGITAL , 


MULTIMETER 
LOT 90899 shown Ш 
98025/69096 y 


at our |] 


- Save 20% on any one item purchased at our stores or Pup ха сот о by calling 
3 z Bf 3004252587. “Cannot, be оте, aut oter “dicount, Coupon inside Track Cub | | 
the savings on to ou It’s ust that membership, extended service plans or on any of the folk TA, generators, tool 
y = J | puer م ا سا وسا پا‎ юх ا‎ Tow hie Kn Тин ‘ot u и T 1 - Cannot be used with other discount, coupon or prior purchase. Coupon 
simple! Come visit one of our Dor purchases der 30 d. hm ong puse die A CaO er Or ome” whe uis ur, Sign 
p Ы J Original coupon must be presented. Valid through 1/22/16. Limit one coupon per customer per day. |} [| must be presented vaid tough 1/22/16. Limit one FREE GIFT coupon per customer рег day 


600 Stores Nationwide. 1 HI И ИГО LM 1 ОТО І 


- POWDER-FREE NITRILE GLOVES RAPID PUMP? 3 TON. 
PACK OF 100 


| | HARDY MEDIUM HEAVY DUTY STEEL 
68496/61363 FLOOR JACK € = 
LARGE A, 


3 GALL 
CENTRAL OILLESS PAN 
ees AIR COMPRESSOR * S mil. thickness PITTSBURGH Emm 


61615/60637 HOICE! 
ES 5590 N НС an We 
CURES ^ "Seen REG. PRICE $11.99 ores 5169.99 
CLL NUN NEN PY IN 
Û um Good at our sos or Hato 7 — ith other discount y LIMIT 4 - Good at our stores or HarborFreight com or by calling 800-423-2567, Cannot be used with other discount 


ог purchases after 30 days from Jt. Offer good w le ийи het or coupon or prior purchases after 30 days from original purchase with original receipt. Offer good while supplies last. y 
Non-ranserdle. Orga coupon must be presented h 1/22716. Umi one coupon per customer ре day. Ё Nor-transterabie. Original coupon must be presented Valid through 12218. Limit one coupon per customer per day. 


1/2" ANGLE GRINDER $ em 16 02. HAMMERS ' 


4 


driljmaster PORTABLE WITH FIBERGLASS : 
10 FT. x 20 FT. 
БЕСЕУ —- CAR CANOPY HANDLE 


PITTSBURGH ' 


LOT 60728/62858 


SAVE 7/69034 shown 
62857/ 


CLAW RIP 
LOT 69006 | LOT 47873 shown 
60715/60714 | 69005/61262 


m LU ul 


356650 


LL ПШ! ШШШ STR m ТО 
83552659 $19.99 LIEU AA UN REG. PRICE $8.99 ! 
7 - Good at our stores or HarborFreight com or by calling 800-423-2567. Lo be used wi T 7 - Good at our stores or Harborfreight.com or by calling 800-423-2567. Cannot be used with other discount 


M di 
q Or coupon or prior purchases after 30 days from original purchase with original receipt. Offer good w н upon or prior purchases after 30 days from original purchase with original receipt. Offer good while supplies last. 
Non-transferable. Original coupon must be presented, Valid through 1/22/16. Limit one coupon per customer per day. Norrtransfeble. Original coupon must be presented. Valid through 1/22/16. Limit one coupon per customer per day 


pens TER 4000 PEAK/ 26", 4 DRAWER 
avier? 3200 RUNNING WATTS "TOOL CART 


6.5 HP (212 CC US*GENERAL 
3 "Wie GAS GENERATORS 


* * LoT: e shown 
evel or LOT 69729/68528/69676 shown MERE 34/61952 


^ LOT 69675/69728 + 580 Ib. Capacity 
CALIFORNIA ONLY 1 


LO AM 


LOT 62515 
66911 shown 


Є з 


ШШШ un po 


, [Т ТТ NM „с price $499.99 : NWO AN ji | Mi iin 


T 3 - Good at our stores or p rbor did by caling 800-423-2567. Cannot be used with other discount | LIMIT 4 - Good at our stores or Бн сот or by calling 800-423-2567. Cannot be used with other discount y 
coupon or prior purchases after 30 days from original purchase iginal receipt. Offer good while supplies last. y or coupon or prior purchases after 30 days from original purchase with original receipt. Offer good while supplies last. 
Non-transferable Original coupon must be presented. Valid thr ugh ez i „Limit one coupon per customer per day. Y Non-transferable. Original coupon must be presented. Valid through 1/22/16, Limit one coupon per customer per day. 1 


HaulfMaster TRIPLE BALL 
fe TRAILER HITCH 


LOT 61913 shown 
69874/61914 


AIRLESS 
PAINT SPRAYER KIT 
EF” 


LOT 60600 , 


| uer —— 
E 4 lo Extends from 
„ | 61.108110° 


REG. PRICE $299. 99! 


HM EO А ШШЩ T ШАШ "$59.99 


y LIMIT 5 - Good at our stores or Harborfrei MP pr TT Жыз pot ba usad u vith other discount y LIMIT 6 - Good at our "s or ена ог by calling 800-423-2567. Cannot be used with other discount 
y or Coupon or prior purchases after 30 days from original роп Offer good while supplies last. „ or coupon or prior purchases after 30 days from original purchase with original receipt. Offer good while supplies last. J 
Non-transterabe. Original coupon must be presented. Val оц. i P La mite ane coupon per customer per day. 1 Non-transferable. Original coupon must be presented. Valid through 1/22/16. Limit one coupon per customer per day 


PRICE 
Жж 99 


e No Hassle Return Policy * 600 Stores Nationwide 
e Lifetime Warranty on ли напа tools e HarborFreight.com 800-423-2567 


° 100% Satisfaction Guaranteed 
* Over 25 Million Satisfied Customers 


PLAYBOY 


120 


Like any great bad film, Manos is bliss- 
fully unaware of its own two left feet. Many 
of the sets look like drug dens; manos means 
“hands” in Spanish, making the title Hands: 
The Hands of Fate. Torgo, who sports pecu- 
liar padding around the knees, may have 
been conceived as part animal, an idea aban- 
doned at some point but far enough along 
for Reynolds to move with a staggered gait. 
In Manos, even walking across the frame 
appears to be a half-assed effort. 

There is no end to how badly executed 
the film is, and there is no ignoring that 
every creative misstep was entirely Warren’s 
doing: He had total autonomy. If he did 
indeed brag that “anyone” could make a film 
to a respected writer like Silliphant, it makes 
his failure even more epic. Like a boastful 
Evel Knievel, he wipes out so spectacularly 
on the tarmac that it demands closer obser- 
vation. The film’s fandom may as well be a 
support group, inviting a level of fervent 
discussion that good movies rarely garner. 

“Ben-Hur is a cool movie,” says Tony 
Trombo, a fan who hosts the podcast Talk- 
ing Manos. “But nobody ever talks about it.” 


Ben Solovey, 30, is sitting in a farmers’ mar- 
ket in Los Angeles, sunglasses obscuring a 
pleasantly boyish face. He’s fond of punctu- 
ating sentences with a horizontal air punch. 

A cameraman by trade, he grew up on 


the side of a mountain in Chattanooga, Ten- 
nessee, which was all right except that he 
couldn’t get cable. One day, his mother was 
given a 16-millimeter film projector that had 
been sitting unused in the local elementary 
school and took it home. Solovey checked 
out reels from the town library and real- 
ized that movies were tangible, not just some 
ephemeral signal beamed to your television. 
They had a smell, a feel, and he became pre- 
occupied with collecting them. 

“Т was not,” he says, “the most popular 
kid at the lunch table.” 

Solovey attended Florida State before 
taking an internship at Panavision in Los 
Angeles, entering the industry just as digital 
shooting began to take over. He continued to 
collect prints and bought a 35-millimeter pro- 
jector. In 2011 he found an eBay listing for a 
pile of canisters located in San Diego. They 
were full of the kind of schlock Solovey had 
been weaned on in the horror section of his 
local video store: The Atomic Brain, The Brain 
That Wouldn't Die and, improbably, Manos, a 
film he had seen on Mystery Science Theater 
3000 and embraced for its sincere awfulness. 

He e-mailed the seller and asked to buy 
just two titles. “You can have them all,” the 
man said. 

Solovey drove to San Diego to pick up the 
lot. He expected Manos to be just another 
print, but as he hefted the canister, two things 
caught his eye. One was the title on the spine, 


“Those are stalactites, those are stalagmites, and those lining 
the cave’s entrance are gigantic fangs!” 


which read Finggrs [sic] of Fate, and the other 
was a label that read “work print” on the front. 

Solovey had unwittingly stumbled 
upon celluloid straight out of the cam- 
era, upchucked by the Filmo 70 and left to 
wither by Emerson Film Enterprises, the dis- 
tributor Warren had convinced to pick up 
the movie. The Northridge earthquake of 
1994 had destroyed many titles from Emer- 
son’s library, but Manos survived, sitting in a 
storage space until the founder’s grandson 
auctioned it off. 

As he inspected the reels (“It looked like 
it had been run over by a truck,” he says) 
Solovey remembered a book he had once 
read on the search for the missing foot- 
age of an old Napoleon feature and how it 
had instilled in him the idea that films—all 
films, no matter their perceived merits— 
had a right to exist. The Manos DVDs being 
sold online were copies of copies that looked, 
Solovey says, “like they were shot through 
a screen door.” (Or as MST3K had put it, 
“Every frame of this movie looks like some- 
one’s last known photograph.”) Here was the 
original, ready to be cleaned, restored and 
preserved for future generations to mock. 

"I wanted to make the best version of the 
worst movie ever made,” he says. 

After Solovey posted his find on 
SomethingAwful.com, a clearinghouse 
for internet snark, his campaign began to 
gather steam. Commenters told him he was 
“doing God’s work.” Movie critic Roger 
Ebert tweeted that Manos had been rescued 
from the waste bin. Comedian Mike Nelson, 
who once hosted MST3K and now roasts bad 
movies online at RiffIrax.com, called him 
up to chat about the discovery. 

Emboldened, Solovey approached the 
Texas Film Commission about funding a res- 
toration. "They weren't receptive," he says. 
Instead, Solovey turned to Kickstarter and 
showed off sample footage of actress Diane 
Mahree, who plays Warren's wife, in a before- 
after comparison. The difference was striking: 
Previously covered in soot, the image of 
Mahree— who later became a model—looked 
stunning after Solovey's restoration. 

“That blew people away," Solovey says. 
Fans pledged nearly $50,000 to help clean, 
scan, restore and distribute a high-definition 
copy. Solovey hired two specialists to assist in 
the process, wiping the print down by hand 
and then using the same scanner preferred 
by archivists at the Criterion Collection. "It 
was like adopting an ugly puppy," he says. 

Because some of the original image had 
been cropped, their work uncovered more 
filth in the margins. Erasing the hazy screen- 
door effect revealed the film to be even more 
incompetent than previously believed, with 
the Master sporting blue jeans under his 
foreboding cloak and footage of one of 
the brides cracking up in the background 
during a scene. The clunky dubbing was 
left untouched. "It's my job to present it," 
Solovey says, "not fix it." 

Solovey started in late 2011, and by the 
summer of 2012 he was far enough along to 
field a call from Charles Horak, who ran the 
Plaza Classic Film Festival in El Paso. Citing 
the city's ^mythic attachment" to the movie, 
which may or may not have been a joke, 
Horak wanted to screen Manos for some of 


the festival’s 40,000 attendees. Also showing 
that year: On the Waterfront, Casablanca and 
Dog Day Afternoon. 

There was only a brief discussion over 
the necessary permissions. To the under- 
standing of Solovey and most everyone else 
involved, Manos had suffered the same fate 
as 1968's Night of the Living Dead: A copy- 
right symbol had been left off the film, which 
in the 1960s meant it automatically entered 
the public domain. There was no telling how 
many millions Dead director George Romero 
lost to the gaffe. 

But someone was doing the accounting 
for Manos—and what had been intended as 
a victory lap for Solovey turned into some- 
thing far less pleasant. 


Joe Warren’s wife, Aimee, remembers the 
first time she walked into the Warren house- 
hold. A four-by-five-foot painting of the 
Master hung over the couch, staring down 
visitors and upsetting children. 

“I thought these people were freaking 
nuts,” she recalls, watching her husband 
shuffle through a Sterilite container full of 
papers. “What are you looking for?” 

“The novel,” Joe says. In his late 40s, 
graying hair buzzed tight to his scalp, Joe 
lives in a St. Louis suburb. Preoccupied 
with baseball, he didn’t see Manos until high 
school and had little idea his father ever held 
creative aspirations. When Hal screened it 
for him, Joe fell asleep. When he woke up, 
Hal asked him what he thought. 

“It's okay,” Joe said. 

“You can tell me the truth,” Hal said. 

“Well, it’s kind of terrible. It doesn’t make 
any sense.” 

For the next three hours, Hal attempted 
to make sense of it. He knew, Joe says, it 
was a bad movie, but he never completely 
abandoned his ambitions. Hal wrote a novel, 
Forever and Always, which he turned into a 
script and submitted to HBO in 1983. Joe 
still has the polite rejection letter. (HBO 
would later own Comedy Central’s pre- 
cursor, the Comedy Channel, which aired 
Mystery Science Theater 3000.) 

There are pictures of Hal emceeing 
events and appearing onstage. “Great 
widow’s peak,” Joe marvels, admiring his 
father’s hairline. There’s a Masonic Bible 
with Hal’s name written inside and the orig- 
inal cloak worn by the Master in the film, 
replicas of which remain a staple of cosplay- 
ers at Comic-Con and other conventions. 

“We’ve had to stitch up the bottom,” Joe 
says, the heavy linen material having grown 
frayed from both Joe and Hal wearing it 
on Halloween. 

The painting, the cloak and the Sterilite 
container are what remain of Hal War- 
ren’s entertainment career. Manos may not 
be a good film—at 69 minutes, it may not 
even qualify as a feature film at all—but Joe 
insists it is the property of the Warren fam- 
ily. “Something needs to be done to protect 
Dad’s legacy,” he says. “People are trying to 
make money off of it and don’t even care.” 

When Solovey began his restoration work, 
he consulted a lawyer who believed the film 
was firmly in the public domain. But War- 
ren was agitated. His father’s movie had just 


been given a public grant of $50,000 and 
Solovey was starting to screen it; Jackey Ney- 
man Jones, who played the little girl in the 
film, was selling Manos T-shirts. Someone 
was cashing in, and the Warrens appeared 
to be an afterthought. 

On Jones’s Facebook page, Warren wrote, 
“We need to talk about this: T-shirts, paint- 
ings, etc. I don’t want to be the bad guru 
[sic] but all the characters are copyrighted 
and as such can’t be used without permission 
either by you or by Solovey...please con- 
tact me otherwise I have to make my own 
choices to protect it and all its characters. 
Ben knows this and has crossed the line and 
I don’t want you to be put in that position... 
this is serious and could potentially cost a lot 
of money if you pursue this without asking 
and covering your butt.” 

Jones was not swayed. “He has my dad’s 
painting and robe. I wrote back, “Here's 
my address. When can I expect them to 
be returned?’” 

Jones's father had been promised profits, 
which would seem to stifle any argument 
over selling a few T-shirts. But Warren 
insists any deals made by his father died with 
his father. More important, he disagrees 
with Solovey that the film is in the public 
domain. In 2013, he discovered among his 
father’s belongings a notice of copyright for 
the screenplay. A friend dug through the 
Library of Congress records and confirmed 
it was more than just a submission—the 
script had been logged, which Warren inter- 
prets to mean the movie itself is protected. 

No one, however, knows for sure, as no 
precedent exists and no one seems willing 
to spend the money to have a court figure 
it out. “No copyright filed for theatrical 
release and no copyright notice on the film 
from that period is a fatal, defective thing,” 
says Ian Friedman, Solovey’s attorney. “But 
in the end, it’s not whether you're right or 
wrong. It’s whether you want to litigate it.” 

Warren took a different tack. A day before 
the celebratory screening in El Paso, someone 
phoned Horak and told him he did not have 
permission to screen the film. A license fee 
was required, along with another demand: 
Security personnel should be given a picture 
of Solovey and instructed not to let him in. 

The festival board had no time to investi- 
gate whether the claim had any merit. The 
following afternoon, as Al Pacino was setting 
up a one-man show in the theater intended 
to screen Manos, Horak made hasty arrange- 
ments to show the film in a nearby hotel 
ballroom, making it an unofficial part of the 
festival. The late notice, Horak says, “felt like 
a shakedown.” 

"I'm not trying to stop people,” Warren 
contends. “I’m not some George Orwellian 
guy. I just don’t want people making money 
off my dad’s work.” 

“Joe seems to think I’m in it for the 
money, and nothing will dissuade him from 
that perception,” Solovey says, insisting 
there’s not much to be made in the Manos 
trade to begin with. “Where was he when 
nothing was going on with the movie?” 

Warren, meanwhile, bristles at Solovey- 
hosted screenings in Finland and Germany, 
likening them to a subsidized world tour. 
“Why not have Hal’s kid there?” he says. 


— 
> Tedd 4 


ДЕП 


When she wears this teddy will she be 
friend or foe? Let the interrogations begin! 


$36 only $29! 
Order Gift 25441 ¢ 800.505.6730 


panties.com 


...the gift that touches her when you can't 


S,M,L 


PLAYBOY 
PRIVACY NOTICE 


We occasionally make 
portions of our customer 
list available to carefully 

screened companies 
that offer products or 
services we believe 
you may enjoy. 


If you do not want to 
receive these offers or 
information, please let 

us know by writing 
to us at: 


Playboy Enterprises International, Inc. 
c/o TCS 
P.O Box 62260 
Tampa, FL 33662-2260 
e-mail: playboy@customersvc.com 
Phone: 800-999-4438 


It generally requires eight to 10 weeks 
for your request to become effective. 


PLAYBOY 


122 


“No one’s inviting me, the director’s son.” 
In August 2012, Warren did get an invi- 
tation to what was intended to be the largest 
Manos spectacle of its kind: The film would 
be roasted a second time by a portion of the 
Mystery Science Theater 3000 cast, now doing 
business under the name RiffTrax. The 
screening in Nashville would be beamed live 
to theaters across the country. Like most things 
the film touches, it was a disaster, but not 
because of any of the usual suspects. Most par- 
ties lay the blame at the feet of Joe Warren’s 
onetime associate, a curious man who can be 
found on YouTube in character as Torgo and 
who calls himself Rupert Talbot Munch Sr. 


In 2010, Munch, sporting a vaguely New 
Zealand-sounding accent, approached War- 
ren with the idea of shooting a sequel to 
Manos. It would pick up some 40 years after 
the original, featuring the return of Jackey 
Neyman Jones and her father, musical num- 
bers, break-dancing and as many as 120 
brides in an erotic grappling session. The 
script was reputed to be 250 pages. Munch— 
a bearded man who favors fedoras and who 
declined to comment for this article—had 
composed music for television but had no 
prior experience directing a feature. 
According to Andy Cope, a documentary 
filmmaker whose grandfather appeared in 
the original Manos (“He didn’t talk about it, 
like he had killed somebody,” Cope says), 
Munch explained that he was home ill one 
day and caught Mystery Science Theater 3000. 
He became a devoted fan of both the series 
and its signature episode, sometimes dress- 
ing up as Torgo for comics conventions. No 
one is sure why Munch adopted an alter 
ego, though Cope believes he may have 
felt more comfortable directing as “some- 
one else.” Confusing the issue further, he 
would also be playing Torgo in the film. 


“He was in character playing a character,” 
Cope says. “It was very convoluted.” 

Jay Lee, who served as director of pho- 
tography for the ill-fated sequel, recalls 
accidentally calling Munch by his real name, 
Phil Francis, during filming, prompting 
Munch-Francis to shut down production for 
the day. Lee, who had already toiled in the 
B-movie trenches directing Zombie Strippers! 
starring Jenna Jameson, says he attempted 
to remedy some of Munch’s directorial defi- 
ciencies, to little avail. A fraction of the film 
was shot before Munch stopped, possibly 
due to lack of funds. 

“We could’ve shot the whole thing for 
his budget,” Lee says, “but he spent almost 
$30,000 in one week in El Paso.” 

With the sequel on ice, Munch instead 
attempted to install himself as the curator of 
the Manos estate. Both Jones’s and Solovey’s 
attorneys claim Munch falsely presented 
himself as their representative. Solovey says 
Munch offered to finance the Manos restora- 
tion back in 2011, but he wanted too much 
control over the project, prompting Solovey 
to turn to Kickstarter. Warren, who believed 
Munch’s heart was in the right place, claims 
Munch helped locate the original Manos 
copyright notice. After the Nashville deba- 
cle and Munch’s overzealous efforts, though, 
Warren now refers to him as “the Entity.” 

The trouble started when, according to 
RiffIrax co-owner David Martin, Munch 
contacted the company to discuss the Manos 
copyright and licensing fee after it had 
begun to advertise the live Nashville show. 
It was too late to switch movies, so RiffIrax 
reluctantly agreed to Munch's terms—most 
notably, that he appear in character as Torgo 
and deliver pizzas to the cast. His cameo was 
later edited out of the DVD release. 

Warren was given a seat, but the cast and 
crew largely ignored him, thinking he was 
colluding with the troublesome Munch. 


“Апа so I am stepping down to spend more time with a number of 
women I’ve been seen around town with.” 


“There was sadness,” Warren says. “This was 
supposed to be about me being able to see 
Manos on the big screen for the first time. I 
wanted to meet the guys and say thank you. 
I wanted, as my dad’s son, to go backstage. 
That was supposed to be my coming-out 
moment. It was frustrating.” 

After the screening, Munch disappeared. 

“Munch had the gift of gab,” Jones says. 
“He talked a lot of people into doing a lot 
of things. 

“He reminded me of Hal.” 


After considerable delay, Solovey’s Manos 
restoration will be released on Blu-ray this 
month by Synapse Films. The original nega- 
tive is now safely tucked away in cold storage 
at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and 
Sciences Film Archive. 

“That’s not a joke,” Solovey says. “Their 
holdings are very diverse.” 

Solovey—who next plans to tackle a 
repolishing of The Atomic Brain—says he 
was successful in copyrighting the restora- 
tion, which would appear to settle the matter 
once and for all. If Manos is in the public 
domain, then other fan labors, including a 
puppet show (Manos: The Hands of Felt), a 
Mario-style platform video game for smart- 
phones and a planned microbudget prequel 
featuring a high-school-age Torgo, can be 
copyrighted on their own. 

Warren, however, remains adamant that 
Solovey’s copyright is not enforceable. “1 
still say the movie is protected, and as such, 
developmental work or restorations are 
thereby protected,” he says. “I’ve tried to 
be nice, but he has his own ideas about pro- 
tected works and infringing on them.” 

Warren’s assertion that he’s being rea- 
sonable is backed by RiffIrax's Martin, who 
quickly came to an agreement regarding 
the inclusion of Manos outtakes in a recent 
DVD release, crediting the “Harold P. War- 
ren Irrevocable Trust.” 

“When we finally had a chance to talk, I 
found Joe to be a really nice guy,” Martin 
says. He doesn't rule out Torgo-related busi- 
ness in the future. “Manos remains one of our 
10 top-selling titles.” He says his copyright 
attorney, who has extensive experience with 
public domain cases, believes Warren has 
an arguable claim to the original property. 

Jackey Neyman Jones hasn’t heard from 
Warren in some time. She continues to sell 
Manos-inspired casualwear, including a scarf. 
Semi-estranged, she and her father, Tom 
Neyman, got back in touch while helping 
to promote the restoration. 

“It’s a strange way to develop a relation- 
ship again, but I’m grateful for it,” she says. 
“T adore my dad.” 

MST3K's Conniff, who admits his discov- 
ery essentially opened a gateway to movie 
hell, remains a bystander to the latter-day 
animosity but is happy to take some respon- 
sibility for the affection directed at Manos. 
“There are a lot of bad movies, but there was 
something special about this one,” he says. 
“It somehow captured the public’s imagi- 
nation, even though there wasn’t a lot of 
imagination in it in the first place.” 


BRIAN STAUFFER 


FORUM 


October 2015 /// Don’t Quit Your Day Job /// Harsh Realities in Virtual Sex 


> 
и 


e, 
" 
- 
2 
a 
ct 
1 
г 
‚каер? 
1 
v 
з 
5 
3 
+ 
£ 
з 
= 
i= 
= 
E 
м 


А 
t 
$ 


% 
400219) и 


i 
р 
u 


WHAT CODE ISN’T 


Code isn't your enemy, the new literacy or 


wizardry. Code, in fact, isn’t the point 


You're scared. It's okay— 
you're among friends. You've 
heard murmurings in the 
media about how “software 

is eating the world,” and you 
don't understand the threat. 
You know it has something 

to do with “coding,” which 
seems important, but you don't 
know how to do it and may 

not want to learn, regardless of 
how many millennials are sud- 
denly making exorbitant sums 
as “developers” or how many 
advertisements you see online 


for six-week “boot camps” 
promising similar results. 

But it feels like more than a 
fad. You suspect, in fact, that 
some kind of literacy is being 
defined out there beyond your 
ken, and you worry you or 
your kids will be rendered illit- 
erate if you don't get with the 
program—that you'll be left 
behind if you don't learn code. 
Maybe you picked up Bloom- 
berg Businessweek's 
acclaimed primer on 
the subject —WHAT IS 
CODE? asked its head- 
line with disarming 
directness—to reas- 
sure yourself. Having 
failed to finish all 
38,000 words, you fear you've 
become not just too illiterate 
to survive the future but too 
damned tired as well. 

Take a deep breath. You're 
afraid because you don't 
know what you don't know. 
This is normal, even for 


BY 


JOHN 


PAVLUS 


converterResult = ne Ste 


~ 
ч, 
a 
E 
(D 
E 


coders. Students of program- 
ming "should know what 
not to read and what they 
need not understand at any 
moment," according to the 
1984 computer-science bible 
Structure and Interpretation of 
Computer Programs. "These 
skills are by no means unique 
to programming," it adds. 
See? The op-eds and the 
online courses and Businessweek 
are informative, but they can 
wait. You're not as adrift as you 
think, and you're not alone. 
Let's consider what code isn't. 
If software is eating the 
world, the process is far 
from complete. Look around 
you: Most of what you see 
isn't code. To Jeff 
Atwood, co-founder 
of the long-running 
software develop- 
ment forum Stack 
Exchange, this is a 
good thing. "More 
code is never the 
right answer,” he says. “Every 
good programmer knows 
their job is to delete code. It’s 
better to take preexisting solu- 
tions and package them—the 
best code is no code at all.” 
To Atwood, coding isn’t 
literacy; it’s more like 


fax-machine repair. “I want 
veterinarians to be veterinar- 
ians,” Atwood explains. “Bill 
de Blasio shouldn't have to 
learn how to program to solve 
the problems of New York 
City. One measure of prog- 
ress in the computer industry 
is that we no longer require 
people to become pro- 
grammers to do things with 
computers. There are more 
effective uses for their time." 
Instead of pressuring 
everyone to program, Atwood 
thinks we ought to reteach 
people what they were pro- 
grammed to do as kids: play. 
"Sandbox-style" video games 
such as Minecraft are "pro- 
gramming environments, 
essentially," he says, because 
they provide open-ended 
opportunities to discover how 
a system works by messing 
around with it—a much more 
fundamental and versatile 
skill than writing JavaScript. 


*Bill de Blasio 
shouldn't 
have to learn 
how to pro- 
gram to solve 
the problems 
of New York.” 


Steve Jobs claimed, "The 
minute that you under- 
stand that you can poke life 
and something will pop out 
the other side, you'll never 
be the same again." Atwood 
encourages his own kids to 
adopt this empirical stance 
toward the world, regardless 
of whether it includes coding 
or not. “Who the fuck knows 
what programming is going 
to be in 10, 20, 40 years?" he 
says. ^The enduring value is 
in experimentation to figure 
out what's actually going on." 
In other words, program- 
mers aren't wizards, and code 
isn't magic. According to game 
developer and media theo- 
rist Ian Bogost, it's much 
more mundane. "It's Micro- 
soft Excel," he says. Inputting 
values and formulas into cells, 
arranging them and hook- 
ing them up to one another in 
ways that don't break: That's 


programming. 123 


124 


FORUM 


So why don’t you feel like 
a hacker when you fire up a 
spreadsheet? For the same 
reason you don't feel like Bob 
Vila when you put together 
an Ikea armoire: You simply 
may not get what Bogost calls 
“moment-to-moment enjoy- 
ment” out of assembling and 
manipulating components, 
even though you may value 
the end result. So it is with soft- 


Software will 
change, but 
playful explo- 
ration, critical 
thinking and 
effective com- 
munication 
will not. 


ware. Most of us don’t want the 
drill, we just want the hole. 
Which is why code is, ulti- 
mately, not the point. “Ask 
programmers who admire 
other famous program- 
mers if they've ever looked 
at each other's code," says 
Atwood, "and they'll say no. 
Why? Because the admira- 
tion has nothing to do with 
the code they wrote." Code is 
all about how. It doesn't say 
much about why. Hardware 
and software will change, but 
playful exploration, critical 


> 


OF SEXUAL 
INNOVATION 


[^ 26,000 в.с.: The Dildo 


In 2005, in a cave near Ulm, 
Germany, Tübingen University 
researchers unearthed the 
world's oldest dildo, an eight- 
inch phallus made of "highly 
polished" sandstone. 


thinking and effective com- 
munication will not. 

And "why" matters more 
than you think. It's often 
assumed that by train- 
ing everyone to code, we'll 
empower a generation of 
not just "systems thinkers" 
capable of understanding 
the complexity of things like 
climate change, globalized 
economies and Snapchat, but 
also systems doers like Steve 
Jobs and Elon Musk. Jobs 
famously never coded, but 
Musk did. What links these 
titans is what novelist and sci- 
entist Arthur Koestler called 
“blue thoughts”: an ability to 
pop out of the flat, incremen- 
tal optimization paths that 
all systems afford and won- 
der what's possible by moving 
perpendicularly. What if cell 
phones were handheld com- 
puters? What if solar power 
and wall-mounted battery 
packs replaced fossil fuels? 

Of course, as legendary 
computer scientist Alan Kay 
once remarked, “you have 
to have something blue to 
have blue thoughts with.” 
For many, code is that “some- 
thing.” But what's truly 
valuable, beyond learning 
a trendy programming lan- 
guage or dropping in ona 
hackathon, are those blue 
thoughts themselves. 

Fear is what stops those 
thoughts dead in their tracks. 
Kay knew this, and in his 1997 
speech “The Computer Revo- 
lution Hasn’t Happened Yet,” 
he delivered advice to any- 
one as afraid as you may be. 
“To stay with the future as it 
moves,” he said, “is to always 
play your systems more grand 
than they seem to be right 
now.” Jobs and Wozniak did 
that. Elon Musk did that. Lady 
Ada Lovelace, who wrote the 
world’s first computer pro- 
gram in the mid-19th century 
for a never-completed “analyti- 
cal engine,” did that. 

So take another breath. You 
don’t have to know how to 
code. You don’t have to know 
what's next. You don't have to 
be scared. o 


From depictions in cave art to 
proto-prophylactics in ancient 


in the 1600s when animal-skin 


Little-known fact: When the 
telephone was introduced 
to Victorian society, conser- 
vatives lurched into crisis 
mode. Here was a device, 
they thought, that would 
allow home-bound women 
to speak with secret lovers 
and plot adulterous affairs. 
Their concerns weren’t 


1600s a.D.: The Condom 


Asia, condoms are nothing 
new—but they really took off 


sheaths were publicly sold. 


OCULUS RIFT AND 
THE FUTURE OF SEX 


Virtual reality could revolutionize human 
sexuality. Will censors stand in its way? 


unwarranted: "Couples for- 
bidden to meet in person," 
says Nigel Linge, a profes- 
sor of telecommunications at 
the U.K.'s University of Sal- 
ford School of Computing, 
Science and Engineering, 
"could plan to elope— 
which is reported to have 
happened." 

Since then, moral panic 
over technology has erupted 
anew with every advance. 
Motion pictures once threat- 
ened to entice young, 
unchaperoned women to set 
off for Hollywood; the VCR 
brought any media—even 
pornography, God forbid— 
into living rooms worldwide. 
Even the Polaroid once 
augured the fall of mankind, 
having liberated personal 
photography from lab devel- 
opers' watchful eyes. To be 


1839: The Daguerreotype 


Here's how an Ohio University 
researcher describes some 
early photographic porn: "A 

solemn man gingerly inserting 

his penis into the vagina of an 
equally solemn woman." 


BRIAN STAUFFER 


sure, technology and sex 
have always met on the 
cutting edge. Kinks and fan- 
tasies flourish online, and 
the internet has unbound 
sex from proximity, bring- 
ing about new universes of 
romance and intimacy for 
couples and strangers alike. 

Next year, another leap 
forward occurs with the 
arrival of Oculus Rift, the 
first mass-produced virtual- 
reality headset to achieve 
what has been termed “pres- 
ence,” or an experience so 
real it causes the same physi- 
cal reactions one would have 
in real life. Users’ feet tin- 
gle when they approach the 
edge of a virtual building; if 
they turn to face a tiger, they 
feel a rush of blood to their 
extremities. The device could 
herald profound changes in 
fields from architecture to 
medicine, from gaming to 
education, and the possibili- 
ties for sex are endless. 

It is also likely to refine 
the boundaries between cen- 
sorship, technology 
and sexual liberties, 
as new technologies 
have in the past. 
When the internet 
reached near uni- 
versal adoption in 
the 1990s, Congress 
passed the 1996 Commu- 
nications Decency Act to 
protect minors, imposing 
criminal sanctions on any- 
one who made “obscene or 
indecent” materials available 
online. The Supreme Court 
struck down the CDA on 
First Amendment grounds, 
but Congress redoubled 
its efforts in 1998 with the 
Child Online Protection Act, 
which penalized companies 
for making available mate- 
rials deemed “harmful,” 
including sexually explicit 
content. Again, the Supreme 
Court struck it down. 

Internet pornogra- 
phy only flourished in the 
decades that followed: In 
2000, 25 million U.S. resi- 
dents viewed online porn 
on a weekly basis. By 2002, 


1869: The Vibrator 


The invention of the 
steam-powered Manipula- 
tor spared doctors, who 
IN often induced orgasms 
to calm female patients, 
carpal tunnel syndrome. 


JESSICA 


OGILVIE 


the industry generated 

$1 billion, and by 2013 por- 
nographic websites had 
more visitors than Net- 

flix, Amazon and Twitter 
combined. Most online cen- 
sorship now comes from 
the tech juggernauts them- 
selves. Facebook restricts 
the display of nudity, Insta- 
gram’s terms of service ban 
“nude, partially nude... 
pornographic or sexually 
suggestive photos,” and 
Apple employs censors to 
comb through every appli- 
cation submitted to its App 
Store for explicit content. 

It remains unclear what 
restrictions Oculus may face. 
“The Rift is an open plat- 
form,” said founder Palmer 
Luckey earlier this year. 
“We don’t control what soft- 
ware can run on it. And 
that’s a big deal.” But Face- 
book CEO Mark Zuckerberg 
bought Oculus for $2 billion 
in 2014, and his company 
will devise the terms that 
govern its official store. This 
June, a Facebook 
representative told 
Business Insider 
that pornography 
would be forbidden 
from the Oculus 
Store, but devel- 
opers will likely be 
able to release uncensored 
content for the head- 
set independently. In that 
case, Oculus could have an 
impact on human sexual- 
ity on par with the webcam, 
one of the most influen- 
tial pieces of technology 
for sex since the internet 
itself. By allowing users to 
enter safe, inhibition- and 
judgment-free worlds, its 
impact on individual sex 
lives—especially women’s— 
has been enormous. 

Kate, 24, has been an 
online exhibitionist under 
the user name AwesomeKate 
for the past three years. “I 
had a pretty good sense of 
myself sexually,” she says 
of her pre-cam life, but “on 
the internet, you can lay it 
all out there. I can just be 


1990 to present: The Digital Age 


With technologies such 
as Oculus Rift and the 
coming age of teledildonics 
(remote-operated sex toys), 
nothing stands between you 
and your dream orgasm. 


“For those 

who are bored, 
high-sensation 
seeking or risk 
seeking, Oculus 
will help them 
have fun and 
remove risks." 


—Justin R. Garcia, director of educa- 
tion and research, Kinsey Institute 


an absolutely sex-drenched 
person. I watched my sex- 
uality flourish.” The same 
happened for 25-year-old 
Marissa Frost, who started 
camming several years ago. 
“Гуе always been sexually 
open,” she says, “but in real 
life, I’m shy. To find things 
that you didn’t think you 
would be into and be really 
into them when you're cam- 
ming is something 1 can take 
into my personal life.” 
Those disinhibiting 
effects will be amplified by 
virtual reality, which will 
divorce sexual experimenta- 
tion from fear and physical 
danger. This became appar- 
ent earlier this year at the 
XBIZ 360 conference in 
Los Angeles, where a com- 
pany named Red Light 
Center unveiled a program 
that immerses users in a 
virtual Roman orgy. Attend- 
ees sat down, strapped on 
an Oculus headset and wit- 
nessed themselves on a 
white terrace under a crisp 
blue sky. When I did so, 
my senses became imme- 
diately attuned to this new 
world. With my virtual self 
flanked by couples having 
sex in all manner of posi- 
tions, the effect was physical 
and immediate; I felt my 
stomach turn warm and my 
blood rush. It wasn’t until 
the Oculus was lifted from 
my head that I returned to 
the reality of a drab hotel 


FORUM 


conference room, sur- 
rounded by other journalists 
and early adopters. As far 

as your brain and body are 
concerned, you’re gone. 

“Tm almost thinking 
of Oculus as a training 
tool,” says Justin R. Gar- 
cia, director of education 
and research at the Kin- 
sey Institute. He envisions 
myriad uses for the device. 
“Virtual-reality-type sex- 
ual experiences might help 
people with their sexual 
initiation, and to prac- 
tice overcoming fear and 
anxiety. For those who are 
bored, high-sensation seek- 
ing or risk seeking, it will 
help them have fun and 
remove some of the inher- 
ent risks.” 

Kate experienced that 
firsthand. “If I have 400 
people watching me online, 
I visualize an auditorium 
full of people masturbat- 
ing with me on a stage,” 
she says. “It feels absolutely 
incredible.” 

Zuckerberg, for his part, 
now faces a choice: cen- 
sor his new toy as he does 
his website, or allow virtual 
reality to upend sexuality 
as we know it. Every com- 


munication platform must 
grapple with the same issue, 
deciding whether and how 
to limit its users’ dissemi- 
nations. While Facebook 
disallows all nudity except 
depictions of breast-feeding, 
Twitter eschews most cen- 
sorship, for good and bad: 
The platform has become as 
key for ISIS recruitment as 
it is for lending a voice and 
platform to those whom tra- 
ditional media outlets can’t 
reach. These companies 
must decide whether to tailor 
their tools to the demands 
of the moralists. What we do 
know is that the future of sex 
is around the corner. Here’s 
hoping we've finally buried 


our Victorian sensibilities. M 125 


FROM BOY WIZARD TO HUNCHBACKED HENCHMAN. 


WALTZ THIS WAY—THANKS TO QUENTIN TARANTINO, CHRISTOPH 
WALTZ HAS SEARED AN IMAGE ON CELLULOID AS A DELICIOUSLY 
SMUG AND MALICIOUS CHARACTER ACTOR WITH A FINE-TUNED 
TALENT FOR VILLAINY. HE’S NABBED TWO OSCARS FOR HIS 
MANIACAL SCENE CHEWING, AND THIS FALL HE’LL CHEW ON 
MORE AS JAMES BOND’S FOE IN SPECTRE. IN THE PLAYBOY INTER- 
VIEW, STEPHEN REBELLO BREAKS BREAD WITH THE MAN WHOSE 
CREEPY GRIN MIGHT MAKE EVEN 007 SHAKE IN HIS BOOTS. 


RISE OF THE MACHINES—FUTURISTS HAVE LONG PREDICTED A 
WORLD POPULATED BY FLYING CARS AND SPACE COLONIES, 
BUT TODAY, SIMPLE MATH EQUATIONS ARE OVERTAKING HUMAN 
INNOVATION. CHRISTOPHER STEINER EXAMINES HOW DEPEN- 
DENT WE’VE BECOME ON ALGORITHMS—AND JUST HOW LONG 
IT MIGHT BE UNTIL COMPUTER CODES EXTINGUISH FREE WILL. 


CHECK YOUR FACTS—DEREK WATERS IS OUR KIND OF GUY. NOT 
ONLY DOES HE ENJOY A STIFF COCKTAIL (OR FOUR), BUT HE 
GETS PAID TO DRINK THEM, AS HOST OF COMEDY CENTRAL'S 
HILARIOUS, HARDLY HISTORICAL DRUNK HISTORY. WE INVITED 
WATERS TO TACKLE OUR FAVORITE SUBJECT: PLAYBOY. AS 
EXPECTED, HE GETS ALMOST NOTHING RIGHT. 


BOTTOMS UP—WE ROUNDED UP THE BEST BAR-MINDED FOLKS 
WE KNOW, FROM PUBLICANS TO MIXOLOGISTS TO ESTEEMED 


йр, 


FEN 
f N = 
THE NEXT BIG PUNCH-OUT WON'T BE BETWEEN MEN BUT MOGULS. 


EZ N 
CHRISTOPH WALTZ SCARES US SENSELESS, AND WE LOVE IT. 


LIQUOR CRITICS, AND ASKED, WHERE’S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE 
TO DRINK? THE RESULT IS OUR ANNUAL COMPENDIUM OF AMER- 
ICA’S TOP BARS, FEATURING EVERYTHING FROM THE MAINSTAY 
DIVES TO THE FRESH TO THE FROUFROU. 


THE FUTURE OF FISTICUFFS—BOXING MAGNATE AL HAYMON 
TURNED FLOYD MAYWEATHER JR. INTO MONEY, IN MORE 
WAYS THAN ONE. NOW HE THREATENS TO BLOW UP THE 
PAST WITH PREMIER BOXING CHAMPIONS, A NEW PROMO- 
TION THAT INFUSES THE OLD SPORT WITH THE EXTREME, 
CROWD-PLEASING TACTICS OF THE UFC. TIM STRUBY EXPLORES 
WHETHER THE ODDS ARE IN HAYMON’S FAVOR. 


BOY MEETS WORLD-—IT’S BEEN FOUR YEARS SINCE HARRY 
POTTER'S CINEMATIC SWAN SONG, BUT DANIEL RADCLIFFE IS 
STILL TRYING TO SHAKE IT OFF. RIDICULOUSLY RICH WITH FINE 
TALENT AND LOTS TO PROVE, HE’S BARED HIS WAND ONSTAGE, 
DRUNK HIS WAY OUT OF AWKWARD MEET-AND-GREETS AND 
RECEIVED FELLATIO ON-SCREEN TO DISTANCE HIMSELF FROM 
HOGWARTS. BOY WIZARD FOREVER? NOT A CHANCE. IN 20Q, 
ROB TANNENBAUM PICKS AT THE GROWING PAINS OF RADCLIFFE. 


PLUS—AN AFTERNOON WITH R&B’S RISING QUEEN TINASHE, 
MISS NOVEMBER WARMS US UP WITH HER SMILE, A SOUTHERN 
NOIR TALE BY STEVE WEDDLE AND MORE. 


Playboy (ISSN 0032-1478), October 2015, volume 62, number 8. Published monthly except for combined January/February and July/August issues by Playboy in national and regional editions, Playboy, 
9346 Civic Center Drive, Beverly Hills, California 902 10. Periodicals postage paid at Beverly Hills, California and at additional mailing offices. Canada Post Canadian Publications Mail Sales Product Agree- 
ment No. 40035534. Subscriptions: in the U.S., $32.97 for a year. Postmaster: Send all UAA to CFS (see DMM 707.4. 12.5); nonpostal and military facilities, send address changes to Playboy, PO. Box 62260, 
Tampa, FL 33662-2260. From time to time we make our subscriber list available to companies that sell goods and services by mail that we believe would interest our readers. If you would rather not receive 
126 such mailings, please send your current mailing label to: Playboy, PO. Box 62260, Tampa, FL, 33662-2260. For subscription-related questions, call 800-999-4438, or e-mail playboy@customersvc.com. 


Nun 


MAN 


T 


{ 
| 
| 


RE 


Visit иѕ а Newport pleasurecom SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Quitting Smoking 


® ® ® . . 
|| ЕК кы page doses щш Now Greatly Reduces Serious Risks to Your Health. 
‘ea trademarks of Lorillard Licensing Company LLC. 
© 2015 RJRTC 


ibero Ferrero