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THE GROWING LEGEND OF LINCOLN CLAY + THE BESTBOURBON
CITY BLINDER RECIPE + A NIGHT ON THE TOWN WITH GIORGI
MARCANO + SURVIVING THE NEW B@RDEAUX GANG WAR

© 2002-2016 Take-Two Interactive Software, Inc. and its subsidiaries. Developed by F gar 13. Mafia, Mafia Ill, 2K, Hangar 13, Take-Two Interactive Software and respective logos are all
trademarks and/or registered trademarks of Take-Two Interactive Software, Inc. The “PS” logo is a registered trademark and “PS4” is a trademark of Sony Interactive Entertainment Inc. The
ratings icon is a registered trademark of the Entertainment Software Association. All other marks and trademarks are property of their respective owners. All rights reserved. © Playboy Enterprises
International, Inc. PLAYBOY, PLAYMATE and Rabbit Head Design are marks of Playboy Enterprises International, Inc. Photo Credit: Marya Gullo|

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O 2016. Playboy Enterprises International, Inc. Playboy and the Rabbit Head Design are trademarks of Playboy Enterprises International, Inc. and used under license by Coty.

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Catherine Servel

Raised in France and trained at New
York City's School of Visual Arts,
Servel has made a name for herself as
an in-demand celebrity photographer,
carrying a portfolio that includes ev-
eryone from Kim Gordon to M.I.A. to
Susan Sarandon. Her portraits of co-
median Kevin Hart are a perfect ac-
companiment to his Playboy Interview.

Bridget Phetasy

A stand-up comic living in Los An-
geles, Phetasy has penned her sex
column Just the Tips exclusively for
Playboy.com since last April. This
month, Phetasy brings her writing—
and her savvy, sex-positive wit—to our
Advisor page, answering perhaps the
greatest question of our generation: Is
itever okay to send a dick pic?

PLAYBILL

Tony Tulathimutte

In July, National Book Award winner
Jonathan Franzen praised Tulathi-
mutte and his debut novel, Private
Citizens, calling him "a big talent."
With After the Dyerses, an original
short story about family dysfunction,
Tulathimutte further solidifies his
status as one of the most exciting new
voices in American literature.

Bruce Dern

It may seem odd to pair indie-rock
ingenue Sky Ferreira with two-time
Oscar-nominated actor Dern for a con-
versation. But both entertainers are
committed to revealing truth through
performance and are equals in terms
of passion and grit. As Dern says, "Sky
is the most uniquely interesting person
Pve met in a long time."

Sandy Kim

Kim succeeds in photographing youth
culture in part because she lives in that
world. From struggling bands on tour
to lovers running wild in the rain, she
documents those who setthe rules on
fire—which is why she's the perfect
woman to capture singer and guest
art director Sky Ferreira (above, in
cowboy hat) in all her fuck-you glory.

Chloé Kovska

There's something carnal and mischie-
vous about Kovska's work, which depicts
cartoonish characters exploring grown-
up material. Taught by her Macedonian
father to embrace painting at an early
age, this month's Artist in Residence
now refers to art as her "addiction" and
loves muddling the boundaries between
cute creatures and kinky pleasure.

Steve Friess

A veteran journalist, Friess brings to
our pages an important profile of a
man trying to probe the limits of a se-
rious (and imminent) domestic threat:
vote hacking. In Technology Will De-
stroy Democracy Unless This Man Stops
It, Friess observes Alex Halderman,
whose cybersecurity work could fuel
Mr. Robot story lines for years to come.

Ryan Lowry

A skateboarder, a comic, a rocker, a
rhyme spitter, a sex-rights activist, a
slam poet. It takes an indefatigable
talent to capture the essence of such
distinct personalities. In a testament
to his gifts and agility, photographer
Lowry did just that, his work becom-
ing the primary visual voice of our
Renegades Issue.

CREDITS: Cover and pp. 70-77 model and guest art director Sky Ferreira, photography by Sandy Kim, styling by Kate Crowley, hair by Christian Marc for Forward Artists, makeup by Amy Chance
for Bernstein & Andriulli, production by Brande Bytheway, styling assistance by Cassandra Parigian. Photography by: p. 4 courtesy Steve Friess, courtesy Chloé Kovska, courtesy Bridget Phet-
asy, courtesy Catherine Servel, Lyndon French, Robin Jones/Evening Standard/Getty Images, Sandy Kim, Lydia White; p. 31 courtesy Renault U.K. Limited, George Frey/Bloomberg via Getty Im-
ages, Ullstein Bild/Getty Images; p. 36 Myles Aronowitz/Netflix; p. 37 courtesy El Rey Network, courtesy Fox, courtesy HBO, courtesy Starz; p. 38 courtesy 2K Games; p. 46 courtesy RoboteX
(2), AP Photo/Gerald Herbert; p. 5o Molly Cranna; p. 67 Kate Warren; p. 68 David Titlow; p. 103 CQ Roll Call via AP Images, Danielle Hicks; p. 105 Chris Hondros/Getty Images; p. 114 Ben Clement. P. 15
styling by Chloe Chippendale, hair by Jakob Sherwood for the Wall Group, makeup by Melinda Love Dean; p. 18 prop styling by Janine Iversen; p. 21 prop styling by Janine Iversen; pp. 32-35 styling by
Annie & Hannah, hair by Creighton Bowman for Tomlinson Management Group, makeup by Roxy for Tomlinson Management Group, photographed at Canter's Deli in Los Angeles; pp. 40-41 groom-
ing by Ed at Faded Society Barber Shop; pp. 52-59 styling by Ashley North, grooming by John Clausell; pp. 64-65 hair and makeup by Bethany McCarty, wardrobe assistance by Maya Harris; p. 67
makeup by Sara Mabrouk; pp. 86-99 model Allie Silva for No Ties Management; pp. 106-112 model Lily Bridger for Premier Model Management, styling by Violetta Kassapi for Premier Artists London.

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Introducing the all-new 2017 FIAT° 124 Spider.
The only turbo-charged two-seater convertible that can show you a thing or two.

fiatusa.com

Pre-production 124 Spider Abarth model with optional equipment shown. @2016 FCA US LLC.
All Rights Reserved. FIAT is a registered trademark of FCA Group Marketing S.p.A., used under license by FCA US LLC

OPPOSITE PAGE: PHOTOGRAPHY BY HENRIK PURIENNE

CONTENTS

Departments

NO FILTER celebrity choreographer Sharna Burgess offers alesson in impressing women 15
DRINKS Geta better buzz with three elevated takes on the classic shot and a beer 18
FOOD An introduction to the sizzling, spicy-sweet glory of Filipino food 20
STYLE Designers are obsessed with the footwear of hardworking Irishmen this season 22
ALSO: Jaguar rolls out its first-ever SUV; Bluetooth headphones; the etiquette for below-the-belt selfies
THE RABBIT HOLE Ben Schott delivers the specs on electric vehicles and their accelerating popularity 91
209 Rachel Bloom, star of TV's most delightfully subversive show, sounds off on porn, T&A and outsmarting the FCC 82
TV Black culture mixes with the Marvel universe in the groundbreaking Luke Cage, Netflix's latest superhero series 36
GAMES л tense 1960s Big Easy atmosphere breathes life into Mafia III—and makes for gripping gameplay 38
MUSIC Hip-hop impresario Vince Staples has no interest in escaping his roots 40
FRANCOFILE Maggie Gyllenhaal on making characters' sexual inhibitions feel real 2
POLITICS why it’s legal for police officers to kill American citizens with bomb-rigged robots 44

ALSO: The best sci-fi and horror shows on television this month; how the science of persuasion is used to win votes
Features

INTERVIEW Critics be damned, nobody hustles harder than box office king Kevin Hart 52
THE RENEGADES We salute seven cultural rule breakers who are changing the way we think, dress, play and more 60
SKY FERREIRA Bruce Dern goes on a journey with the singer-songwriter as she edges into a new chapter 7O
FICTION Familial bonds become dangerously frayed in Tony Tulathimutte’s After the Dyerses 78
MISS OCTOBER Allie Silva tells you exactly what not to ask her 6
TECHNOLOGY WILL DESTROY DEMOCRACY... unless Alex Halderman stops it 0
LILY BRIDGER A day in the English countryside with London’s new It girl 106

ARTIST IN RESIDENCE Familiar characters are reimagined as libidinous cartoons in the cheeky work of Chloé Kovska 114

ON THE COVER Sky Ferreira, photographed by Sandy Kim.

VOL. 63, NO. 8—OCTOBER 2016

PLAYBOY

HUGH M. HEFNER
EDITOR-IN-GHIEF

JASON BUHRMESTER EDITORIAL DIRECTOR
MACLEWIS GREATIVE DIRECTOR
HUGH GARVEY DEPUTY EDITOR
REBECCAH. BLACK PHOTO DIRECTOR
JAREDEVANS MANAGING EDITOR

EDITORIAL
CAT AUER, JAMES RICKMAN SENIOR EDITORS; SHANE MICHAEL SINGH ASSOCIATE EDITOR
WINIFREDORMOND GOPY CHIEF; SAMANTHA SAIYAVONGSA, ELIZABETH SUMAN RESEARCH EDITORS
GILBERT MACIAS EDITORIAL GOORDINATOR; AMANDAWARREN EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT TO THE EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
CONTRIBUTING EDITORS: VINCE BEISER, DAVID HOCHMAN, STEPHEN REBELLO, DAVID RENSIN, DAVID SHEFF, ERIC SPITZNAGEL, DON WINSLOW,

JAMES FRANCO EDITOR AT LARGE

ART

CHRIS DEACON SENIOR ART DIRECTOR; AARONLUCAS ART MANAGER; LAURELLEWIS ASSISTANT ART DIRECTOR

PHOTOGRAPHY
EVAN SMITH ASSOCIATE PHOTO EDITOR; ANNAWILSON PHOTO ASSISTANT
KEVIN MURPHY DIRECTOR, PHOTO LIBRARY; CHRISTIEHARTMANN SENIOR ARCHIVIST, PHOTO LIBRARY
AMY KASTNER-DROWN SENIOR DIGITAL IMAGING SPECIALIST
ELAYNELODGE STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

PRODUCTION

LESLEY K. JOHNSON PRODUCTION DIRECTOR; HELENYEOMAN PRODUCTION SERVICES MANAGER

PUBLIC RELATIONS
THERESA M. HENNESSEY VIGE PRESIDENT; TERITHOMERSON DIRECTOR

PLAYBOY ENTERPRISES INTERNATIONAL, ING.
BEN KOHN CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER
DAVIDG.ISRAEL GHIEF OPERATING OFFICER, PRESIDENT, PLAYBOY MEDIA
JARED DOUGHERTY GHIEF MARKETING OFFICER
COOPER HEFNER CHIEF CREATIVE OFFICER

ADVERTISING AND MARKETING
PHILLIP MORELOCK CHIEF DIGITAL OFFICER AND PUBLISHER; MARIEFIRNENO VICE PRESIDENT, ADVERTISING DIRECTOR
NEW YORK: MICHELLETAFARELLA MELVILLE SENIOR DIRECTOR, ENTERTAINMENT AND BEAUTY; ADAMWEBB SENIOR DIRECTOR, SPIRITS
ANGELALEE DIGITAL CAMPAIGN MANAGER; OLIVIABIORDI MEDIA SALES PLANNER
KARIJASPERSOHN ASSOCIATE DIRECTOR, MARKETING AND ACTIVATION; GRETCHEN MAYER ASSOCIATE CREATIVE DIRECTOR
AMANDACHOMICZ DIGITAL MARKETING MANAGER; VOULALYTRAS EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT AND OFFICE MANAGER
CHICAGO: TIFFANY SPARKS ABBOTT SENIOR DIRECTOR, MIDWEST
LOS ANGELES: KRISTIALLAIN SENIOR MARKETING MANAGER

Playboy (ISSN 0032-1478), October 2016, volume 63, number 8. Published monthly except for combined January/February and July/August issues by Playboy in national and regional editions, Playboy, 9346 Civic
Center Drive, Beverly Hills, California 90210. Periodicals postage paid at Beverly Hills, California and at additional mailing offices. Canada Post Canadian Publications Mail Sales Product Agreement No. 40035534.
Subscriptions: in the U.S., $32.97 for a year. Postmaster: Send all UAA to CFS (see DMM 707.4.12.5); nonpostal and military facilities, send address changes to Playboy, P.O. Box 62260, Tampa, FL 33662-2260. For
subscription-related questions, e-mail playboy@customersve.com. To comment on content, e-mail letters@playboy.com. + We occasionally make portions of our customer list available to carefully screened companies
that offer products or services we believe you may enjoy. If you do not want to receive these offers or information, please let us know by writing to us at Playboy Enterprises International, Inc. c/o TCS, P.O. Box 62260,
Tampa, FL 33662-2260, or e-mail playboy@customersvc.com. It generally requires eight to 10 weeks for your request to become effective. e Playboy assumes no responsibility to return unsolicited editorial or graphic or
other material. All rights in letters and unsolicited editorial and graphic material will be treated as unconditionally assigned for publication and copyright purposes, and material will be subject to Playboy's unrestricted
right to edit and comment editorially. Contents copyright O 2016 by Playboy. All rights reserved. Playboy, Playmate and Rabbit Head symbol are marks of Playboy, registered U.S. Trademark Office. No part of this book
may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form by any electronic, mechanical, photocopying or recording means or otherwise without prior written permission of the publisher. Any similarity
between the people and places in the fiction and semi-fiction in this magazine and any real people and places is purely coincidental. For credits see page 4. 2K/Mafia III faux cover attachment on all subscription
copies. Two Bradford Exchange onserts in all domestic subscription polywrapped copies. Certificado de licitud de título No. 7570 de fecha 29 de Julio de 1993, y certificado de licitud de contenido No. 5108 de fecha 29
de Julio de 1993 expedidos por la comision Calificadora de publicaciones y revistas ilustradas dependiente de la secretaría de gobernación, Mexico. Reserva de derechos 04-2000-071710332800-102. Printed in USA.

Y PLAYBOY SHOP com

DEAR PLAYBOY

EXPAND YOUR MIND WITH MOLLY
Imay disagree with Molly Crabapple's politics,
but to devote only four pages to her work is a
shame (Artist in Residence, July/August). Her
art makes me think and question my beliefs.
Chris Sullivan
Broadway, Virginia
For more thought-provoking work from Molly
Crabapple, see her profile of Stoya (page 62).

LOVELY LISE
There's never been a better ad for travel-
ing to Cuba than Jean Pierrot's spectacular
photo shoot of Lise Olsen (Cuba Libre, July/
August). I'll bet bookings to the island shot
up because of her.
Brent Davis
Houston, Texas

LET FREEDOM RING
From Wiz Khalifa's high-as-fuck but candid
20Q interview to Matt Gallagher's enthrall-
ing short story, Babylon, to the Playboy
Interview with Ta-Nehisi Coates, I was ex-
tremely impressed with your Freedom Issue
(July/August). Matthew Zaremba's illustra-
tion for Killer Mike's piece, Black Votes Mat-
ter, was obviously inspired by Malcolm X's
famous “The Ballot or the Bullet" speech.
Brooks Roenisch
Kentfield, California

Thank God and the First Amendment for free-
dom of speech (The Conservative Sex Move-
ment, July/August). And thank God also for
Hugh Hefner and PLAYBOY.
David Jacobson
Chicago, Illinois

Chelsea Handler frames her argument (My
Choice, July/August) the way many pro-choice
supporters do, saying that people against
abortion want to somehow keep women down.
But for me, it has nothing to do with the
mother; it's about the baby.

Patricia Gadd

Portland, Oregon

Women should have the right to choose,

period. But you don't have to agree with us.
Chelsea says it best in her essay: "It's okay
if you think it's not right for women to have
abortions...it's not your problem.”

Mary Mapes's essay, Free the Press (July/
August), brought me great joy, and Ithank her

As if Cuba weren't steamy enough, model Lise Olsen is smoking hot on the beach.

profusely. Staying well-informed is a lifelong
responsibility for adults. Journalism should
strengthen society; journalists need to recog-
nize this as imperative.
Andrew Small
Taylor, Michigan

PUCK’ER UP?
Writer Scott King asks, Does Hockey Need a
Bigger Net? (June) and reports that soon goal-
ies will wear smaller pads. That may encour-
age higher scores, but what about just making
the puck smaller? Surely that would have the
same effect as a larger goal.

Scott Landon

Portland, Oregon

King responds: “There’s already a shortage

of teeth in the NHL—imagine the puck being
whipped around like a golf ball. More scor-
ing? Probably. More danger? Definitely. And
the goalie would have a chance to chip one in
from the other side. That’s not hockey.”

EURO BEAUTY

Miss August Valerie van der Graaf, who was
born in Rotterdam, Amsterdam, made my
day (July/August). As a kid in Orléans, France

Tonce visited Rotterdam; I still have its badge
on my wall. Valerie says she loves “being
European”—I do too.

Bill Martin

Smith Center, Kansas

PLAY IT AGAIN, HEF
When I saw the picture of Playmate of the
Year 1965 Jo Collins signing her Centerfold
in Vietnam (Playback, July/August), I had
déja vu. I was stationed in Bien Hoa in late
1966 through the summer of 1967, and I wall-
papered my billeting area with Centerfolds,
just as in the photo.

Dave Selbach

Weeki Wachee, Florida

COVER STORY
Twice is nice: Our
Rabbit hides on two
covers this month
with guest art di-
rector Sky Ferreira.

E-mail letters@playboy.com, or write to us at

9346 Civic Center Drive, Beverly Hills, California 90210.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY JEAN PIERROT

BLACK IS
CALLING

IRISH WHISKEY

мшш |

In 1608, we were granted the world's first commercial licence to distill whiskey. Probably doesn't seem
like a big deal now, but 400 years ago it sure was. Most of the folks in Northern Ireland were tending

farms or opening linen shops. At Bushmills, that spirit lives on to this very day; being ready to step into
the unknown and respond when “Black is Calling.”

Visit blackiscalling.bushmills.com

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Strong Sexual Content AND RESPECTIVE LOGOS ARE ALL TRADEMARKS AND/OR REGISTERED TRADEMARKS OF TAKE-TWO INTERACTIVE SOFTWARE, INC. THE "PS" FAMILY LOGO IS A REGISTERED

Use of Drugs TRADEMARK AND "PS4" IS A TRADEMARK OF SONY INTERACTIVE ENTERTAINMENT INC. THE RATINGS ICON IS A REGISTERED TRADEMARK OF THE ENTERTAINMENT SOFTWARE

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“You don't need to
have the best moves”
г be in the middle of
break-dance circle to
impress a woman. Just
get up with confidence
and groove with her—
even if it's only your
arm around her waist.
l always say a dance
partnership is like a
marriage: It teaches
you the art of patience
and tells a story. Every
one of my partners has
taught me something,
from Noah Galloway, a
double-amputee Army
vet who redefined
what dancing means to
me, to the Pittsburgh
Steelers’ Antonio
Brown, who turned me

into a Steelers girl for
life. | love making peo-
ple feel an emotion—
especially now, when
so many horrible things
are happening to good
people. Dance is free-
dom of expression, It's
about whatever you're
feeling in the moment.
And as long as you get
out there and own it,
girls will fall in love."

Choreographer Sharna
Burgess competes on
ABC's Dancing With
the Stars this fall.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY AARON ۴۷۳۲۴

“AIR-COOLED MEMORY FOAM

FOOD

The Next Big

Asian Cuisine

Filipino food is popping up all around the country

As any casual trend spotter (translation: any-
one with Instagram) knows, what happens
in Williamsburg never stays in Williams-
burg. And so with a slew of openings—from
last year’s Manila Social Club in the Brooklyn
neighborhood to the more recent Pinoy-Cali
incubator Lasa—Filipino cuisine has been
anointed in America.

Although mom-and-pop shops have been
serving Filipino staples in the
U.S. for decades, this hearty and
humble food is finally creep-
ing into the mainstream, from
the roving White Rabbit Truck in L.A. to the
party-vibe Jeepney in Manhattan’s East Vil-
lage to the revered Bad Saint in D.C. Granted,
what constitutes “Filipino food” can be diffi-
cult to define. Not only is the Philippines an
island country—it consists of more than 7,100
specks of land floating between the South
China Sea and the Pacific Ocean—but its col-
orful history means the food “is a beautiful
mutt,” says Yana Gilbuena, who was born in
the Philippines but now lives in New York when
she’s not traveling the world, serving regional
Filipino cuisine to groups of around 30 din-
ers for her Salo Series pop-up dinners. “We’re
talking about influences from the Chinese,

By JULIA
BAINBRIDGE

Arabs, Indians, Malays, Spanish, Japanese
and Americans.” Put that together and you
have the sweet, salty, tangy, spicy food we all
want to eat. “Suddenly we're the cool kids,” Gil-
buena says. So how did a cuisine that has been
in this country for more than 50 years become
an overnight sensation? As American palates
warm to fish-sauce funk and “other” animal
bits, more people are finally ready to receive
the Philippines’ particular brand
of hot, tart, meaty cooking.

Gilbuena’s goal is to introduce
eaters to more than “the ubiqui-
tous trio” of adobo (vinegar-marinated meat),
pancit (noodles) and lumpia (meaty egg rolls)
found in most Filipino restaurants in the U.S.
That said, she recommends that newbies tour
the lesser-known parts of the Filipino reper-
toire to get a more nuanced understanding of
the cuisine. Next chance you get, order tapa
(cured beef), tocino (cured pork), silog (garlic
fried rice with an egg) or the ultimate beer food,
sisig, a sizzling pork dish made with all the
humble cuts (namely pork face) that intrepid
foodie dudes like to brag about eating. To get a
baseline understanding, start with Gilbuena’s
adobo (recipe below) and hit one of the many
pop-ups now serving Filipino fare.

PINOY POP-UPS

Some of the most adventurous neo-Filipino cook-
ing is itinerant. LASA IN LOS ANGELES: Brothers
Chase and Chad Valencia have a weekend resi-
dency at Unit 120, a culinary incubator in Chi-
natown. What you might find on the seasonal
four-course prix-fixe menu: red snapper with
black plums and fermented Fresno chilies,
or twice-cooked pork belly with eggplant and
bagoong (fermented shrimp paste). Lasa means
“flavor” in Tagalog, and the Valencias are bring-
ing it. FOOD AND SH*T IN SEATTLE: Every third
Monday of the month, husband-and-wife team
George “Geo” Quibuyen and Chera Amlag sell
Filipino comfort food at Kraken Congee in Pio-
neer Square. One of this year’s spring dinners
included what they call “the hottest sisig ever,”
made with Trinidad scorpion chili. PELAGO IN
PHILADELPHIA: Food photographer-curator Neal
Santos’s mission is “to articulate Filipino culi-
nary culture within the context of the American
mid-Atlantic region.” With partners Jillian En-
carnacion and Resa Mueller, he throws ticketed
dinner parties in spaces around the city. One eve-
ning’s meat-themed menu featured kilawin na
baka (beef tartare with ginger, chili and shallots)
followed by sisig cannelloniand coconut-braised
greens, prepared by chef Damon Menapace.

CHICKEN ADOBO SA GATA
by Yana Gilbuena
Serves 4

As with curry in India, there are myr-
iad recipes for the national dish of
the Philippines. This one will get you

% cup soy sauce

% cup dark brown sugar

1⁄4 cup cane vinegar

2 tbsp. canola oil

4 bone-in, skin-on chicken quarters
(thighs and legs), scored

2 heads garlic, crushed, skins

5 bay leaves

thinly on a bias

for serving

Pinch of black peppercorns

4 scallions, white parts only, sliced

Steamed short-grain white rice,

flipping periodically, for 10 minutes or
until skin browns. About five minutes
in, add garlic. Add soy-vinegar mixture
to the pan, then add water and coconut
milk to just cover chicken. Bring mix-
ture to a boil, then add chilies, pep-
percorns and bay leaves. Reduce heat.

started. If you can’t find cane vinegar,
Gilbuena says palm vinegar or even
distilled white vinegar will do.

removed, roughly diced
cup water
2 cups coconut milk
3 Thai chilies (optional), roughly
chopped

Mix soy sauce, sugar and vinegar ina
bowl and set aside.

In a large sauté pan or wok, warm oil
over medium-high heat. Sear chicken,

Simmer 30 to 40 minutes. Remove
chicken from the pan, reserving some
of the liquid. Garnish chicken with scal-
lions and serve with rice and liquid (for
spooning over the dish) on the side.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY GRANT CORNETT

Brogues Go Rogue

The ever-versatile shoe gets a stylish and unstuffy reboot this fall

Originating on the moors of Scotland and Ire-
land, the classic brogue has taken on a city-
ready footing in a range of smart designer
updates this season. This sturdy lace-up
gets its name from the distinctive perfora-
tions and serrated edges on its surface, called
"broguing." Originally a rough-and-tumble
work shoe with open, punched holes, brogues
allowed water to drain from the feet as laborers
tromped around the bogs. Nowadays the per-
forations are a nonfunctional detail and often

STYLE

associated with the staid, old-school wingtip.
Butthere’s nothing at all stuffy about this fall’s
offerings, ranging from British brand Trick-
ers’ heavy-soled Bourton in a versatile mer-
lot ($645) to iconic designer Thom Browne’s
luxury iteration in navy ($1,290). But Jimmy
Choo’s Alec (pictured) really caught our eye,
with just the right amount of detail and a tonal
blue hue that can punch up everything from
a slim flannel suit to indigo jeans ($825; all
styles at mrporter.com).—Vincent Boucher

n ^e

PHOTOGRAPHY BY SCOTTIE CAMERON

VODKA
TRICKS.

THE
VODKA
TREATS.

THE
STOLI
MULE

Stoli® Vodka 2 parts

Stoli® Ginger Beer 2% parts

Lime Juice V» part

Lime garnish

SAVOR STOLI” RESPONSIBLY. Stolichnaya" Premium Vodka. 40% Alc/Vol. (80 proof). Distilled from Grain `

Stoli Group USA, LLC, New York, NY ©2016. All rights reserved. * - registered trademarks of ZHS IP
Americas Sarl or Spirits International B.V.

AUTO

JAG'S SUV IS A BRIT BRAWLER

Jaguar jumps into the SUV arms race with a badass ride that’s capable both on and off the road

If a storied car brand is going to introduce
any kind of “first,” it had better knock it out
of the park. That’s why, even with more than
80 years of experience in the luxury game,
Jaguar left nothing to chance when develop-
ing the 2017 F-PACE, the first SUV to wear
the British nameplate. This burly, somewhat
peacocky ride comes at atime when the world
is already full of powerful status SUVs, in-
cluding the Porsche Macan and the Audi Q5.
And the F-PACE is about as muscular as a
British ride gets.

From interior details to overall perfor-
mance, Jag’s design team spared no expense in
positioning the F-PACE as a major contender
in the segment, drawing on the company’s
racing-influenced F-TYPE coupe for inspi-
ration. The car’s most striking feature is its
muscular profile, accented with bulging rear-

PHOTOGRAPHY BY CHANTAL ANDERSON

wheel arches that give the SUV a true catlike
appeal, especially in the black-on-black 35t
R-Sport (pictured), one of six styles offered.

The optional black package, which comes
with special black-metallic paint, gloss-
black roof rails and 22-inch contrasting alloy
wheels, makes the F-PACE impossible to ig-
nore even if you aren’t a fan of Jaguar.

Inside, it builds on that appeal with a mix of
luxury and practicality that doesn’t leave you
feeling you’ve had to sacrifice the functional-
ity of a midsize SUV when opting for a more
premium experience.

The seamless integration of features—
such as the twin cup holders and the 12-volt
socket—into the interior design is as much
a part of the F-PACE’s appeal as the etched-
aluminum veneer trim. But one of the coolest
interior selling points is the optional InCon-

trol Touch Pro infotainment system, which
features a 10.2-inch touch screen that func-
tions like a tablet with the ability to custom-
ize the home screen and add widgets.

Still, not until you put the all-wheel-drive
F-PACE (available in three engine options)
through its paces on roads like those mapped
out for our test run in Aspen, Colorado can
you fully appreciate what this new Jag brings
to the luxury segment. After all, what better
way to gauge the true worth of a $40,000-plus
luxe SUV than by powering it along winding
mountain roads at elevations of up to 12,000
feet above the tree line?

The F-PACE proves to be just as capable off-
road, which makes it an even worthier con-
tender in the world of luxury, considering so
many new vehicles badged as SUVs fail to live
up to the label.—Marcus Amick

Y PLAYBOY SHOP com

P ¿‏ سیق

Future-Proof Your Headphones

The audio jack may disappear, so get ready with next-gen Bluetooth versions

Like it or not, our old friend the headphone jack
is going the way of the VCR. Rumor has it Apple
will nix the 3.5-millimeter plug on its next-
generation iPhone. And Android lovers won't be
spared either: The only hole on the new Moto Z
isacharging port. This is actually good news for
audiophiles; connecting via Lightning (Apple)
or USB (everyone else) means that headphones
can include onboard amplifiers and deliver
higher-quality sound. The rest of us get slightly
thinner cell phones and another item on our
shopping list. But there’s a way out: The phone
gods aren't taking Bluetooth away. Going wire-
less now will keep the music playing in the fu-
ture. Here are our favorite headphones that
allow you to unplug.— Corinne Iozzio

PHIATON BT 460

While it was busy cutting cords, Phiaton also did
away with buttons. The BT 460 over-ears include a
touch-sensitive pad on the ear cup, from which you
can adjust volume and skip tracks. The headphones
also automatically pause when you take them off
your melon. If you and a friend each buy a pair, both
sets of headphones can connect to share the same
audio feed. ($199)

SENNHEISER PXC 550

The crowning glory of Sennheiser's newest cans is
their ability to shut out the world around you. The
headphones use active noise canceling, which lis-
tens to the din of a room and generates opposing
sound waves to nix it, so you'll hear only your music.

Need to hear an announcement on the subway or
listen to the boss rant for a second? Tap the touch-
sensitive pad on the right ear cup to start and stop
your tunes. ($400)

MASTER & DYNAMIC MW60 WIRELESS OVER-
EAR HEADPHONES

No matter how gorgeous a pair of headphones—
and the MW6o is undeniably beautiful —Bluetooth
audio can turn into a bummer the second it shud-
ders, skips or drops out. So rather than waste its
whopping 45-millimeter drivers, Master & Dynamic
focused on the MW6o's antennae, borrowing the ex-
posed design from Apple. The result is a clear sig-
nal that travels up to 50 feet, even with drywall and
doors in the way. ($549)

PHOTOGRAPHY BY SCOTTIE CAMERON

ADVISOR

Is It Ever

Okay to Send

a Dick Pic?

I matched with a girl on Tinder, and
Q: our exchanges have gone from flirta-
tious to hot. We have yet to meet, but I think
that will happen in the near future if I keep
playing it right. In the meantime, we've been
texting a lot at night, and I'm close to doing
something I’ve never done before: send a dick
pic. If I do, will I be blowing the chance she'll
want to hook up in real life?

e When I asked one of my girlfriends if

O it’s ever okay for a guy to send her a
picture of his penis, she responded, “No. Five
hundred times no. Question answered.” This
knee-jerk reaction isn't uncommon. You can
thank the miscreants who scatter unsolicited
dick pics through dating apps and text mes-
sages like flyers at a college activities fair for
that. You can also thank high-profile snap-
pers Brett Favre and Anthony Weiner. These
guys gave dick pics abad name, and their sub-
sequent public shaming and professional fall-
out haven't helped the cause either.

I don't find unsolicited dick pics offen-
sive, but it all depends on the context—and
the recipient. A dick pic can inspire feelings
of violation, amusement, attraction or pity.
That broad spectrum should let you know just
how much opinions vary. For some women it's
the digital equivalent of a flasher in a trench
coat. There's something menacing about a
guy wielding his penis
like a weapon. It can be
violating—and I think in
some circumstances that's the intention. In
other instances, I believe it's harmless exhi-
bitionism. The biological imperative makes
sense to me. A quick Google Images search of
my name will result in plenty of boob shots, so
it would be hypocritical of me to say I don't get
it. And if I had an alien member with a mind
of its own attached to my body, I’d probably be
showing it off to the world too, like, “Can you
believe this fucking thing?”

ILLUSTRATION BY MIKE PERRY

sv BRIDGET PHETASY

So is there a time and a place? Absolutely:
when a woman specifically requests one from
you. Personally, I love well-lit, artful dick pics
and solicit them regularly from suitors and
lovers alike, who are usually more than happy
to oblige. In some cases they aren’t comfort-
able with it, and that’s fine too.

That being said, there’s always a gray area,
such as when you’re flirt-
ing and sexting and want
to show her how turned on
she's making you. Recently a man and I sexted
after meeting ata bar. I sent him a few tasteful
nudies that same night. He replied, “You wanna
see my cock, baby?" He didn't assume. He
asked. And his timing was perfect. The picture
was hot. It was well played. When it comes to ex-
changing nudes, then, the same rules apply as
when you're having sex. It's all about communi-
cation, consent and mutual respect. After all,
a consensual sexy pic isn't sleazy; it's foreplay.

Here are some guidelines to keep in mind:

1. Don't make the mistake of thinking that
once a woman sees your dick, she'll want to see
it anytime during the day. There's something
jarring about penises when they make surprise
appearances in the wild.

2. Do your research before sending a lady
your David imitation. The internet has plenty
of tips for taking good dick pics. Nothing kills
the mood faster than a full-length, badly lit
bathroom-mirror selfie with a half chub.

3. Unless she initiates a sexy-pic exchange,
don't ask for one if you don't plan to recipro-
cate. Sexting is an exercise in trust. You can't
demand what you're unwilling to give.

4. I'll emphasize "specifically requests one"
one more time. “What’s up?" is not an invitation
for you to send an X-rated selfie. Never send un-
solicited dick pics, period. If you don't know this
yet in 2016, you're the reason they get a bad rap.

Questions? E-mail advisor@playboy.com.

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0 E =

THE RABBIT HOLE

ON ELECTRIG CARS

——— AGGELERATION——

The global stock of electric vehicles (EVs) accel-
erated from 12,000 in 2010 to 1.2 million in 2015
and is estimated to hit 13 million by 2020. China
alone accounted for 40 percent of 2015 sales.

1.2M
800K

(Source: International Energy Agency)

400K

2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015

Bloomberg predicts that by 2040 long-range
electric cars will cost less than $22,000 (in
today’s money), and 35 percent of newcars sold
worldwide will come with a plug.

FORMULA E

Formula E—the electric-vehicle equivalent of
Formula One—was created in 2012 by the Fed-
eration Internationale de l'Automobile to stim-
ulate interest in EVs and catalyze innovation in
consumer cars. Upto 10 teams race on inner-city
street courses one to two miles long. Each ePrix
lasts around 50 minutes, during which driv-

ers are required to swap cars with a fresh bat-
tery and tires. The third season starts October
2016 in Hong Kong. ¥ One novelty of Formula E
is FanBoost, a site where fans vote online for
their favorite driver; the top three drivers get to
deploy a 100-kilojoule blast of power during the
race. There has to be a way of incorporating this
idea into the Olympics...or Miss World.

sr BEN SCHOTT

“When Henry Ford made cheap,
reliable cars, people said, ‘Nah, what’s
wrong with a horse?’ That was a huge
bet he made, and it worked.”

—ELON MUSK

—— THE AGES OF AUTO——

- Se TA
At the dawn of the Auto Age (1880-1920),
the number of steam, gasoline and electric
cars was roughly equal; indeed, electric
often had the edge in cities such as New York,
where fleets of electric taxis roamed. It took
the invention of the electric starter motor
(which eliminated the hand crank) and the
rise of mass production to popularize gaso-
line engines and consign electric vehicles to
the margins. There they languished (sporadi-
cally revived by oil crises) until global warm-
ing and technological advances coalesced to
establish our current golden age of electric.

—— DRIVING A BARGAIN ——

In addition to offering FINANCIALINDUCEMENTS
(purchase rebates, lower taxes), jurisdictions
promote EVs with INCENTIVES, including free
or discounted access to toll bridges, ferries and
HOV and bus lanes; free or designated parking;
access to car-free areas or on car-free days; and
less onerous vehicle-inspection regimes. Some
countries employ a BONUS-MALUS principle,
punitively taxing fossil-fuel vehicles. Y The most
successful promoter of EVs is NORWAY, where 24.
percent of all new vehicles are plug-ins. When it
was reported that Norway might ban all gas cars
by 2025, Elon Musk tweeted, “What an amaz-
ingly awesome country. You guys rock!”

—— SOUND OF SILENGE—

Although a reduction in noise pollution is a
key selling point of EVs, the risk that near-
silent cars pose to pedestrians has caused real
concern—not least to the blind. Artificial noise
is necessary only at speeds below 18 miles an
hour—above that, the vehicles make enough
noise to be safe. While the National Highway
Traffic Safety Administration does not yet
require EVs to broadcast fake noise, many are
already fitted with noise-faking capabilities.

——— RANGE ANXIETY — —

One brake on consumer ac-
ceptance of EVs has long
been RANGE ANXIETY: the
fear that your battery will
die in the middle of no-
where. Given that the av-
erage U.S. driver travels
just 29 miles a day—and
the average journey is less than 10 miles—such
concerns seem overblown. Yet range is being ad-
dressed viaubiquitous (and soon wireless) charg-
ing stations and a race for better batteries—a
race supercharged by Tesla. ¥ Listed below are
the five longest-range 2016 base-model electric
cars, according to AxleGeeks/Graphig:

MSRP battery-only range, in miles
$41,450 Mercedes-Benz B250e 87
$31,800 Fiat 5006 87
$31,950 Kia Soul EV-e 90
$115,500 Tesla Model X PgoD 250
$108,000 Tesla Model 8 PgoD 253

— HACK, JACK € RANSOM —

Internal software and external connectivity
leave EVs vulnerable to HACKING, JACKING and
RANSOM—threats that go way beyond a dude
with a slim jim. In 2015 researchers were able
to hack a Tesla Model S, and in February Nis-
san was forced to deactivate an app that al-
lowed remote access to the climate control of
its Leaf models. As The Guardian predicts,
“Your next car will be hacked.”

20Q

RACHEL

BLOOM

A wild conversation with the creator and star of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend,
the smartest, sexiest show on prime time

Q1: More than six studios turned you and your co-
creator down before the CW picked up your show,
and now it's returning for its second season as a
critical and viral hit. Do you get recognized more
now than before?
BLOOM: Either I don't look the same on
TV or people are just polite. When I do
meet someone who recognizes me, it
means they watch the show, which, from
an executive-producer standpoint—
that's what I care about. I'm like, Oh
good, you’re watching the show! What
demographic are you?
Q2: You wrote nearly 50 original songs last sea-
son, on topics ranging from anal waxing to how
weird a stranger's balls smell—and all of it on
network TV, not streaming or cable. How do you
get away with that?
BLOOM: You can get away with saying
all kinds of dark shit if you turn it into
abouncy musical number. When you're
doing comedy, music is your straight
man. “The Sexy Getting Ready Song”
is all about the brutal things women do
to look hot and get in touch with their
feminine side. My character, Rebecca,
sings, “I'm gonna make this night one
you'll never forget” as she’s waxing
hair off her ass. The chorus chimes in

er DAVID HOCHMAN

with “Ass blood,” and you see blood on
camera. There's no subtext with songs.
You just let it rip.

Q3: You shot an earlier version of Crazy Ex-

Girlfriend as a pilot for Showtime that never

aired. How much edgier was that?

BLOOM: It was mostly what we have
on the CW. There was only one scene
we had to reshoot. Instead of a make-
out scene, there was a hand-job scene,
which I hope to release.

Q4: How much do you have to hold back?
BLOOM: We find work-arounds. It
makes us more creative. There was a
song, “Oh My God I Think I Like You.”
Now, had I just done that song by my-
self, with no censorship, some of it
probably would have been sung by my
character as she was getting fucked.
You can't show that. However, what
we could show was her head getting
pushed down for a blow job. Pretty
fucking close. So rather than try to be
cutesy, we push the envelope as much
as we can. And then when we can, we
do a dirty version.

Q5: Your song “Heavy Boobs" is about having

double-Ds, each with “the volume of a toddler's

head.” They are “dense like dying stars” and

“they each have their own memoirs.” What would
your heavy boobs say in a tell-all?
BLOOM: When you have big boobs,
you’re a sexual object even when you
don’t want to be. I would walk down
the street in New York in just a T-shirt
and get catcalls. Iknow men don’t un-
derstand this, but getting catcalled is
the worst feeling in the world. It truly
feels like you are being physically
violated. Boobs sexualize you when it's
not on your own terms. Then there's
the physical part of it: Having these
giant sacs on your body can be painful.
They're tied to your hormones, to your
reproductive system. PMSing is a real
thing, and it can be awful. Boobs are
not just these disembodied bags of fat
to be used as playthings for guys. That
said, a gentle touch goes a long way. For
guys in relationships with big-boobed
women, I'd say err on the side of being
tender, unless she specifically requests
you to really grab them and mash them.
Q6: Do you feel at all competitive with other
women in comedy?
BLOOM: I feel competition only when
other people point it out. You read
these weird headlines, like MOVE OVER,

PHOTOGRAPHY BY JEREMY LIEBMAN

AMY SCHUMER, Or MOVE OVER, TINA
FEY. Why move over? Can't we all just
stand here together? The only time I
get a twinge of something is when
there's content overlap. We wanted
to do a song recently, and someone in
the writers’ room pointed out that it
had basically already been an Amy
Schumer sketch, so we scrapped it.
For a second you go, “Fuck, she got to
it first!” But do I wish she didn't exist
and that I was the only woman doing
comedy? Absolutely not.

Q7: You were an intern at Saturday Night Live.
What did you learn there?

BLOOM: I remember watching a ton of
Real Housewives and waiting for stuff
to do and seeing the writers sit around
and write like me and my friends did,
and thinking, There's no difference
between me and my friends and these

BLOOM: I'm self-conscious when I’m
supposed to look pretty or neutral. I
watched a scene where I’m in a bar,
and I noticed I had a muffin top. I was
like, The song we’re doing is not called
“Look at Me and My Big Ol’ Muffin
Top.” But there was nothing I could do.
People have muffin tops—great. Just
like when my character is depressed,
she should have no makeup on. I go
to all these red-carpet events, but it’s
all an illusion. Anyone being glossy
and pretty, with their hair done and
makeup done—it’s mostly fiction. On
the inside, we’re all humans filled with
guts who poop and fart.
Q11: This past Father's Day you posted on Twit-
ter, "Hey Dad, thanks for jizzing іп my mom then
sticking around to help raise the jizz and paying
for the jizz to take singing lessons.” Is that how
you talked growing up?

guys. I used to think there was some
secret they had or some key to the cas-
tle. No, they just had more experience.
It was just them getting better.

Q8: You got famous for a 2010 song called

“Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury.” Wasn’t he just shy of

90 years old at the time?
BLOOM: He was getting on in years,
yes. But I was inspired after reading
The Martian Chronicles. Also, I find
smart people and writers to be very
hot. I never went for men because of
their looks.

@9: So much of dating today is about swiping

left or right based on profile pics.
BLOOM: I used to be attracted to guys
who were very tall, very lanky, al-
most to the point of being feminine.
Those guys were not always great for
me personality-wise. They tended to
be kind of reserved and have a rigid
nature about them. I’m glad I’m mar-
ried now, because if I was dating based
on my physical type, I’d be swiping at
men I shouldn’t be swiping.

Q10: On the show and in your social-media

feeds, you switch from looking model gorgeous

to strutting around without makeup in your

Spanx. Is one closer to the real you?

BLOOM: Around the house it was “fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck.” As an only child, you
become like your parents’ idiot side-
kick, so we all talked that way. They
were also okay talking about sex, and
that openness made me feel in control
of my sexuality. First of all, I have the
good fortune to not have been raped—
something that happens to one in four
women. That’s just fucking luck. I lost
my virginity in college and never had
sex with a guy before I was ready, be-
cause I knew what sex was; I knew the
realities of it. I have no problem talk-
ing about sex. I have boundary issues in
that I have none.

Q12: Was anything off-limits with your parents?

BLOOM: Talking about my anxiety and
depression. I didn’t want to be a bur-
den on my parents, and when you have
that darkness inside you, it feels very
shameful. Eventually I found that the
more you share it, the more a weight
is lifted. That’s why I like exposing
secrets. If you don’t, you’re repressing
things. Fear leads to hate, hate leads to
the dark side. I’m completely bungling
the Star Wars quote, but it’s all con-
nected. If we were all more open, we

wouldn’t be so ashamed that we have in-
securities and that we watch porn, and
a lot of problems would go away.

Q13: What kind of relationship do you have with
pornography?

BLOOM: A vibrator and porn are my
glass of wine. I read erotica for many
years, which was really fun, but then
a couple of years ago I was like, I’m
going to try watching porn—and I
really, really liked it. My tastes in porn
are very much the typical older-man,
younger-woman type. It's the hetero-
normative way of things, where men are
dominant and women are submissive. I
think people often confuse someone’s
sexual predilections with their ability
to be powerful or feminist. Just because
I want to be on the submissive side in
the bedroom has nothing to do with my
ability to be a boss or with my intelli-
gence. It'saninteresting contradiction.
That's kind of what the show is about:
the struggle between thinking we are
evolved human beings who live in soci-
ety and us all being animals.

Q14: How would America be different with a
woman in the White House?

BLOOM: Women, to use the most gross
generalization, do what's good for
the team. They do what's best for the
greater good, and that would be good for
the country. I see this on my TV show,
where most of our department heads
are women. If you say to a male costume
designer, “This needs to be changed
because it doesn't work with the writ-
ing,” sometimes they'll be like, “You're
wrong. 1 have an Emmy, so, um, no.”
Then you have to really serve the ego.
“Oh yes, we know you have an Emmy,
but could you just do this one thing,
pretty please?” If you say to a woman
something needs to be changed, she'll
go, “Okay. Done.”

Q15: Who's funny but not yet famous?

BLOOM: There's this group called the
Apple Sisters who are just fantas-
tic. They do a 1940s-type radio show.
They're amazing. Zach Sherwin, who

I'M DOING THE THING I'VE ALWAYS
WANTED TO DO. TO USE A PORN TERM,
I'M BEING FILLED IN ALL MY HOLES.

writes a lot ofthe raps for our show, is
fantastic and should be famous. Iknow
the Lonely Island is famous already, but
Ilove them.

Q16: What's coming up this season on Crazy
Ex-Girlfriend?

BLOOM: The theme of season one in the
writers’ room was the lies we tell our-
selves. The theme of season two is that
change is hard. Rebecca’s not in denial
as much anymore. She has admitted to
Josh that she moved to California to be
near him. You can’tunsaythat, and now
we can playwith the premise ofthe show
in away we hadn't been able to before.

Q17: What would you put out there if you didn't
have to worry about standards and practices?

BLOOM: It's funny. I did a comedy-club
show at the Largo in Los Angeles, and
I was going to do “Heavy Boobs" wear-
ing just pasties. I pitched that idea to

my friend Jack, and he said, “That's
awesome and so funny, but just know
that it will live on the internet forever.
Whenever someone googles you, they're
going to see you in pasties at alive show
where you didn't have to be in pasties." I
thought, MaybeIwantto hold off on that
until it's really important.

Q18: What would qualify as important enough
for pasties?

BLOOM: Maybe a big benefit perfor-
mance rather than a regular club gig.
It’s something I'm not opposed to doing.
Ijust wantto wait for the right moment.
Same with the internet. I'm not going to
posttopless pictures of myself, because
that's aboundary that I do have. I don't
want people to see my bare tits unless
it's for a good reason.

Q19: Life is going well for you. Any new moun-
tains to climb?

BLOOM: People ask me, “What's next for
you?” and I think, What do you mean
what’s next? This was the thing. Not
that I have no other ambitions. There
are things I want to do. After doing a
lot of these talk shows—Colbert, Seth
Meyers, Kimmel—I would love to be a
person in late night. I would love to host
a late-night or variety show. I wouldn't
do a topical opening monologue. I would
make it much more variety-based.

Q20: Who would be your dream guests?

BLOOM: I can picture having a politi-
cian on and then a fire eater and then
doing a musical number. I would have
Elizabeth Warren, the cast of Stomp
and maybe someone dead, like Benja-
min Franklin. But I’m doing the thing
I’ve always wanted to do right now, so
I’m good. To use a porn term, I’m being
filled in all my holes. L|

BULLETPROOF TELEVISION

Marvel’s Luke Cage nods to the blaxploitation era into which its character
was born—but muscles out the cliches

Of the 40-plus new shows premiering this fall,
none arrives with higher expectations or stakes
than Marvel’s Luke Cage. It’s the third Netflix-
Marvel collaboration, after Daredevil and Jes-
sica Jones, and it’s the first live-action superhero
series to star an African American actor.
Making its debut in a year of boiling racial
politics, Luke Cage is the story of a reluctant su-
perhero, endowed with extraordinary strength
and bulletproof skin, who takes on violence in
the streets and corruption in the government—
threats far more relatable than the alien hordes
and sentient robots invading other superhero

franchises. The series is loaded with allusions to
black culture (the Harlem Renaissance, Jackie
Robinson, Walter Mosley, the Tuskegee experi-
ments, Malcolm X, Roots), but the most perva-
sive influence is the crop of swaggering crime
thrillers, including Super Fly and Foxy Brown,
that grew into their own genre in the 1970s.
“Thate the term blaxploitation; it’s black em-
powerment,” says Luke Cage show runner Cheo
Hodari Coker. “Blaxploitation was a black man
asserting himself in a cinematic world, kick-
ing ass and getting the girl, being able to do the
same thing as Steve McQueen or Lee Marvin.

Luke Cage comes from that. The way I thought
to do the character was to take that attitude
and modernize it.”

Marvel Comics created Luke Cage in 1972
as the story of a streetwise crime fighter in the
mold of Shaft and Black Caesar, films with
strong black men who take care of the little guy
and look good in leather jackets. Cage-featuring
titles Hero for Hire and The Defenders are dated
as much by their headbands and disco blouses as
they are by racial stereotypes. Alot had to change
for him to survive the 21st century—a time when
shows such as Empire, Jane the Virgin and Fresh

Off the Boat are gaining popularity outside their
demographic borders, and the announcement
of future blockbusters Black Panther and Cap-
tain Marvel hints at new levels of inclusiveness
in mainstream entertainment.

This Cage is still cool and still a bruiser,
but now he reads Ralph Ellison and Malcolm
Gladwell. “Black men in this country, particu-
larly with the fact that they’re systematically
hunted, have a lot to be angry about,” Coker
says. “But Luke Cage is very measured, and he
doesn’t act impulsively. He has strong opinions,
but he has a sense of humor. He has acharm that
women go crazy for, and there's a philosophical
side of him that thinks about the world.”

Cage made his live-action debut last year, as
Jessica Jones's love interest and fellow crime
fighter. Between the end of that show's first

season and the beginning of Luke Cage, he
has moved some 70 blocks north from Hell's
Kitchen to lie low and work off-book for an old
friend who runs a Harlem barbershop. The
quiet life doesn't last long.

Adds Coker, “In the first episode, one of the
villains says, ‘He’s about to bring it.’ Luke says,
‘Not the way I want to. I’d kill you.’ He realizes
his strength, his power, and he’s judicious about
how he beats the shit out of these guys. He’s in
control of himself.”

The main villains are revamps of origi-
nal characters that would scare the hell out
of today’s guardians of political correctness:
Cornell “Cottonmouth” Stokes, a butterfly-
collared pimp in the 1970s comics, is reimag-
ined by Mahershala Ali (House of Cards) as a
menacing crime lord who runs Harlem’s Par-

adise nightclub, where much of the series is
set. Black Mariah, a 400-pound racketeer
and drug dealer in the comics, is now Mariah
Dillard (Alfre Woodard, of Desperate House-
wives), a corrupt and fucking scary Harlem
councilwoman. And Cage? In the hands of six-
foot-three, 250-pound actor Mike Colter, he’s
also thoroughly of our time—but he retains his
original superpower.

“We were in a production meeting, and some-
one asked if we should do something different
than having the bullets bounce off Luke—that it
might look like a shtick,” Coker recalls. He dis-
agreed: “I never get tired of seeing a bulletproof
black man. That image of power is important
to show that you can have a black superhero. I
wanted the show to be unapologetically black, but
there's nothing to apologize for.”— Scott Porch

When the Nerds Took Over the Airwaves

From network to cable to streaming, fall TV is rich with gifts for sci-fi and horror fanatics

FROM DUSK TILL DAWN (EL REY)
Robert Rodriguez returns! From
Dusk Till Dawn has a different
relationship to its source
material—the campy 1996
horror film of the same name—
than, say, FX’s Fargo does to its
own. Whereas that show places
new stories firmly in the world of
the original Coen brothers film
(also a 1996 cult classic), Dusk

is a darker, more mysterious
retelling. The Gecko brothers,
the Titty Twister strip club and
the culebras vampires are all
here, but the series is more
cerebral than madcap.

THE EXORCIST (FOX)

TV is crawling with effects-
heavy spectacles—zombies (The
Walking Dead), vampires (The
Strain) and even the devil himself
(Lucifer)—but shows about inner
demons, such as A&E’s Damien
and WE's South of Hell, haven't
yet connected. Enter The Exorcist,
Fox’s adaptation of the 1973 hor-
ror masterpiece. The pilot sets

a tempered, religious tone with
unexpected bursts of violence,
opening up rich story lines for a
haunted matriarch (Geena Davis),
her husband and two daughters,
as well as a pair of priests.

ASH VS EVIL DEAD (STARZ)

Sam and lvan Raimi's refresh of
the Evil Dead films they've been
making since the early 1980s
once again gives us Ash Williams,
played by paunchy 58-year-old
franchise star and national trea-
sure Bruce Campbell. From the
beginning you know you're in
good hands—including one old-
school prosthetic that prompts
Ash to ask a demon-possessed
woman, "You like my wood?"
Ash's road trip to his hometown
in the season two opener, which
includes a fight in a haunted
crematorium, is bloody hilarious.

WESTWORLD (HBO)

With only two seasons of Game
of Thrones remaining and Vinyl
failing despite a $100 million bud-
get, HBO desperately needs a hit.
Westworld, the sci-fi Western se-
ries whose cast includes Anthony
Hopkins, James Marsden and
Evan Rachel Wood, may be the
answer to its prayers. Early
looks portend a series bursting
with sex, violence, humanoid
robots and Truman Show-like
surveillance. Prepare to lose
sleep thinking about how arti-
ficial intelligence threatens our
sense of what's real.

Playing With Politics

um»

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>.

Mafia Ill’s violence, racial tensions and apocalyptic dread are set in the 1960s but rooted in the now

There's a disorienting moment early in Mafia
III, thelatestinstallment of 2K's richly plotted
drive-and-shoot series: Somewhere in the fic-
tional town of New Bordeaux, which strongly
resembles New Orleans circa 1968, you stumble
into the basement of a seedy jazz joint and find
yourself in an opium den. Seconds ago you were
on your way to a bloody showdown with a mafia
henchman, but now you're watching a shaggy
Jim Morrison type intone apocalyptic laments
backed by a sitar player.

Andy Wilson, one of the game's executive
producers, explains that his team chose the era
for its volatility, citing Martin Luther King's
and Bobby Kennedy's assassinations in par-
ticular. “And within the South, there's no more
of a pressure-cooker place to be than New Or-
leans," says Wilson. "Players can connect the
dots between then and now." With pundits con-
stantly comparing the current election year to
the “summer of hate" 48 years ago, the game
couldn't have arrived at a better time.

You play Lincoln Clay, a Vietnam vet of
mixed race seeking revenge on the Italian
mob that slaughtered his surrogate family. In
this land of sultry sleaze and barking gators,
you're a calculating avenger, a unifier and an
annihilator— “a one-man army,” says Wilson.
You get medieval on the KKK. You get assailed
with N-bombs. You get hassled by cops. And
all the while, hundreds of classic songs blar-
ing from your various rides set the mood. “For-
tunate Son," Creedence Clearwater Revival's
counterculture anthem, could be Clay's theme
song. An angry orphan from the poor side of
town, Clay “ain't no millionaire's son."

Occasionally the allegory comes unset-
tlingly close. In the bayou, you track down
Uncle Lou, a crime boss who resembles Don-
ald Trump in a pink 10-gallon hat. Everywhere
youturn, neo-noir horror and paranoia— not to
mention voodoo, prostitution and drugs—lurk.
^We treated New Bordeaux as a many-layered
character," says Denby Grace, another execu-

tive producer. ^The sexiness. The heat. The un-
derbelly. The mystery."

The dialogue hums with the tensions of the
game's moment. ^I was definitely affected by
books and speeches of the time,” explains senior
writer Ed Fowler. *Malcolm X said, 'Anytime
you live in the 20th century and you're walking
around here singing ^We Shall Overcome;" the
government has failed us.'" Adding to the au-
thenticity, 30 vintage issues of this magazine
are scattered within the game, allowing you the
surreal pleasure of reading up on the era as you
fight your way through it. Enter a nondescript
trailer and you might find yourself paging
through the December 1968 Playboy Interview
with prominent Black Panther Eldridge Cleaver.

From graveyard to whorehouse, power-ups
depend on which lieutenant you allow to con-
trol a ward. As you jack cars and toss explod-
ing voodoo dolls, the essence of New Bordeaux
crawls inside you, biting and clinging hard, like
an ancient bayou parasite.—Harold Goldberg

Get cheeky. Introducing a new line of Playboy intimates.

Y PLAYBOY SHOP com

MUSIC

The Reluctant
Rap Star

North Long Beach native Vince Staples has broken just about
every rule in the hip-hop playbook. So what does he stand for?

From Tupac Shakur to Lil B, rappers have
long embraced the make-it-and-move nar-
rative. “I made a little money, then I moved
my mama/ Yeah straight out the hood,” Rich
Homie Quan says in “Water.” In “The Watcher,”
Dr. Dre raps, “I moved out the hood for good,
you blame me?” And Ice Cube’s “Once Upon a
Time in the Projects” isawhole cautionary tale
about hanging around the hood.

Don’t expect any such songs from Vince
Staples. “That’s the most ignorant thing,” he
says. “To me, that translates to ‘If we want to
do better, we have to get away from black peo-
ple.’ It’s impossible to feel good about doing
bad if you have a strong connection to the
people in your community.” The 23-year-old
is so proud of his native North Long Beach,
California that he dedicated a song to thrills
not found in any travel guide. On “Norf Norf,"
from his 2015 Def Jam debut, Swmmertime
‘06, he offers a new slogan for the LBC: “We
Crippin’, Long Beach City, pay avisit.” What’s
more, he still resides there.

Staples has just stepped out of Hamilton
Middle School in North Long Beach, where he
dropped in on the kids at the Youth Institute,
anew YMCA initiative he helped establish. A
few blocks away sits Ramona Park, alandmark
he name-checks in the sleepy, ominous “Ra-
mona Park Legend, Pt. 2.” The struggle crys-
tallized in that song—“It’s so hard, trying not
to go so hard”—is precisely why he donated to
the program, which gives kids the opportunity
to learn filmmaking and music production in-
stead of gangbanging.

The latter is what Staples studied. Growing
up, he attended Christian schools and excelled
at every sport he tried, but his father was af-
filiated. The elder Staples made him promise
he’d never touch the stuff he watched his pop
chopping up (to this day, Staples doesn’t drink

PHOTOGRAPHY BY RYAN LOWRY

or do drugs), but the pull of the streets and the
appeal of the family business were strong. His
2014 song “Nate” begins, "Asa kid all I wanted
was to kill a man / Be like my daddy’s friends,
hoppin’ out that minivan.” Eventually he be-
came a 2N Crip. Although the most detailed
accounting you'll get of that time is in his
songs, Staples allows that “backlash is still
there, probably. But I’m not worried about it;
it’s part of life.”

Rapping happened almost by accident.
Friendly with members of the sprawling L.A.
collective Odd Future, he crashed at producer
Syd tha Kyd’s studio one night in 2010, after
his mom had kicked him out, and recorded a
verse on Earl Sweatshirt’s song “epaR.” In the
fall of 2014, his debut EP, Hell Can Wait, acol-
lection of bleak hood tales told by a realist in
the cold light of dawn, received critical raves.
By Summertime '06, he'd earned the respect
of everybody from dudes kicking it on the cor-
nerto The New York Times. His new EP, Prima
Donna, should secure his place as one of rap's
best lyricists. Still, he shrugs off the idea of
fame, insisting he's “regular” and leaving that
hustle to, say, Kanye.

“I'm someone who has lived that full life, so
Iknowforafactitis not promised,” he says. “I
also treat it like it doesn’t matter, because life
is so much bigger than us as people. I’m not the
important part. There are so many issues in
the world—we don’t just need to pay attention
to the children, we don’t just need to pay atten-
tion to police brutality—people should focus
on whatever they want to fix. They should do
their best to put their passion into action, be-
cause if it really matters, you won't let it fail."

And if rap fails for him?

“Га be all right,” he says, the wind off the
ocean blurring his words a little. “Га get to
stay home more."— Rebecca Haithcoat

f
y

“IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO FEEL
GOOD ABOUT DOING BAD

IF YOU HAVE A STRONG
CONNECTION TO THE PEOPLE
IN YOUR COMMUNITY."

COLUMN

FRANCOFILE

A conversation with Maggie Gyllenhaal on the science of playing a prostitute, the art
of navigating a sex scene and the brilliance of Heath Ledger

JAMES FRANCO: Your parents were

both directors. How much were you
exposed to the film business when you

were younger?

MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL: I was born

in New York, and my parents, even

when I was little, both wanted to be
filmmakers. Ithink my mom got ajob

in Los Angeles, so they gave up their
apartment and drove cross-country

with me. I was really little. At first my

dad was a carpenter in L.A. They were

just jobbing, trying to get work. By the

time I was old enough to really remem-

ber, they were both making movies.

They were never celebrities; it wasn’t

a world like that.

FRANCO: When you’re playing a part

like the recovering addict Sherry in
Sherrybaby, or Candy, who’s a pros-

titute on our show, The Deuce, how

do you meld yourself to someone who

lives a life so different from yours?
GYLLENHAAL: There are things

that come without my thinking about
them—like wardrobe or hair and
makeup—where I just have a sense. I don’t to-
tally know where that comes from, but it’s a big
part of creating somebody. Then, for example,
Candy has a child and is a prostitute. I gave my-
self some space to imagine and see what bub-
bled up. As Candy I was thinking, Did I ever put
my baby in the other room and fuck a john or go
down on someone, and the baby started to cry
in the middle of it? Did my milk ever start to
leak when I was with a john?

FRANCO: Oh my God.

GYLLENHAAL: Those are intense, right? And
you go, Okay, now that’s a real person. Now the
blood is coursing in my veins as this person.
You also have to ask, How many people am I
fucking a night? How cold is it? Which of the
eight men I’m sleeping with tonight is this one?
I find it difficult to be disciplined enough to do
that work, but when I do it, it helps.

FRANCO: You worked pretty intimately with
James Spader in Secretary. How did you navi-
gate those scenes?

PHOTOGRAPHY BY DAVE MA

BY
JAMES FRANCO

GYLLENHAAL: I didn't know much about the
business of making movies at that time, but I
see now that Secretary wasn't a real movie until
they had a guy who meant something finan-
cially. We were working, but I don't think the
movie was real until they got James. He came
in and read through some scenes with me, and
it was amazing. We were just quietly reading
through these scenes, sitting on a couch, but
it was on. James speaks very slowly and delib-
erately, and at the end of this read-through, he
sortofstopped and took along, dramatic pause,
looked at the director and said something like
“I think...you have hired...the most wonderful
actress for this role." My heart was beating. I
was like, Oh my God. I also remember him say-
ingto me in the very beginning, again with alot
of dramatic pauses and very deliberately, “I al-
ways have an ally on everything I work on, and
this time my ally is you.” And I just went on the
trip with him. I was his ally.

FRANCO: You and your brother Jake worked

with Heath Ledger in what I thought
were two of his best performances—
Brokeback Mountain and The Dark
Knight. Did you see his idea for the
Joker taking shape?
GYLLENHAAL: I remember my hus-
band, Peter Sarsgaard, talking to
Heath about Jack Nicholson having
played the Joker. Heath kind of said,
"I know what I'm going to do. I have
an idea." The thing is, it's really hard
to be excellent and free in a movie of
that scope and when there are so many
other things that are important aside
from the acting. And Heath really is
totally free. It's hard to make space
for yourself to do that in a movie like
The Dark Knight. It’s way easier in a
movie like Sherrybaby, for example.
That was what was particularly amaz-
ing about Heath as the Joker. It was to-
tally clear from the second I was on set
with him that he was doing something
really special and alive.
FRANCO: You told me Jeff Bridges
once said to you, “Everything goes
into the stew.” How do you use that?
GYLLENHAAL: Here’s a simple example. An
actress said to me two days ago, “I’ve been get-
ting so scared when it comes time for my close-
up. I’m paralyzed with fear.” From my objective
position, I was like, “You’re playing someone
who is acting like they’re comfortable with the
wildest sexual encounters. It is so much more
interesting if that person sometimes is para-
lyzed with fear.” I don’t believe in the fantasy
person who is totally comfortable with that
kind of stuff. Maybe there are a couple of people
like that in the world, but I’m not really inter-
ested in them. I’m much more interested in the
person who acts like they’re comfortable with
all those things and then sometimes is para-
lyzed with fear. If that actress heard me, then
the experiences come out and she’s paralyzed
with fear. If you can just let that be okay, then
all ofa sudden you're doing something fascinat-
ing. I think that’s what Jeff was talking about. I
really find that freeing. E

FOLLOW THE BU
000006

/playboy @playboy @ playboy playboy + playboy

POLITICS

WHAT DOES IT

MEAN WHEN GOPS
CAN KILL А MAN
WITH A ROBOT?

For the first time ever, police officers killed an American citizen—albeit a mass shooter—on
home soil using a bomb-bearing robot. Where does that leave our civil rights?

It's the dark, wee morning hours of July 8, 2016
and Micah Xavier Johnson is holed up on the
second floor of El Centro College with a rifle,
singing. Eleven people are injured, five police
officers are dead. After two hours, the Dallas
Police Department has given up on negotia-
tions. A Special Weapons and Tactics team is
positioned down the hallway from Johnson,
working a pound of C-4 plastic explosive into
the arm of the department's Remotec Andros
Mark 5A-1. It's the C-3PO of police robots. It
has video cameras and an arm, but aside from
being able to blind someone with a flash or dole
outa nasty pinch, itis not a fighter. It was made
for bomb disposal, not delivery. This morning,
for the first time in police-robot history, it will
be used to take a human life.

Afterward, news headlines screamed KILLER
ROBOTS HAVE ARRIVED. But those headlines miss
the point. The robot wasn't sentient. It didn't
kill somebody; somebody used
itto kill somebody else. Much of
the debate focused on the robot
and others like it: how heavy they are, how fast
they are, how their tiny electrical muscles work.
These details are superficial, but our collective
nervousness that someday robots would call the
shots ran deep. Artificial intelligence can be as
much a threat as a benediction—but what hap-
pened in Dallas had nothing to do with AI.

Under its most orthodox definition, AI is

sy MATT JANCER

ILLUSTRATION BY

PATRIK SVENSSON

the replication of a biological mind. Philoso-
phers and software engineers can't agree about
whether Al could ever be more than a convinc-
ing charade, much less a staple of policing.
Under its most liberal definition, Al is what
yowd find trying to shoot or outrun you in a
video game. Even that is beyond the scope of
the world's police robots. The Andros used in
Dallas, like every other police bot, is remote-
controlled, like a Tyco toy car.

No one from the Dallas Police Department
would speak with me (perhaps because their
robot overlords wouldn't let them), but Tim
Dees, a former Nevada police officer and for-
mer criminal-justice professor, understands
the events of July 8. “The Dallas situation
was fairly unique,” says Dees, who writes for
PoliceOne, an online publication for law en-
forcement officers. “The shooter was in an area
where he couldr't be easily visualized by the
cops without exposing them-
selves to gunfire. He was be-
lieved to have ample ammo on
him, and he said he had explosives with him.”

Don Hummer, associate professor of crimi-
nal justice at Penn State Harrisburg, agrees.
“The Dallas incident represented an extremely
high, if not the highest, rung on the use-of-
force continuum,” he says. He explains John-
son's position 30 feet down a hallway from
the SWAT team, in a computer server room

from which he could easily defend the only
two doorways. “He'd barricaded himself in a
space where further casualties were likely if the
police stormed it—or, if they did not, from the
subject firing at law enforcement or civilians
or detonating the explosives he claimed to pos-
sess. The decision to neutralize the subject was
avirtual necessity. Is the outcome any different
if the perpetrator is felled by a sniper's bullet
or by an explosive device attached to a robot?”

If Dallas is a special case, it raises more theo-
retical questions than practical ones; namely,
does the availability of a robot capable of kill-
ing a suspect change police decision making
from here on out? Because if it does, we won't
be going back.
Technology changes law enforcement. It hap-
pened with Kevlar vests, pepper sprays, Tasers,
undercover squad cars, body cameras, in-car
laptops, radios, flash-bang grenades, beanbag
ammunition rounds and tear gas. America's
police forces also transformed when revolvers
were swapped for semiautomatic handguns in
the 1980s and when long guns were issued to
non-SWAT officers in the 1990s. The domino
effect of those changes has never been more
evidentthan itis today.

“When I was investigating allegations of
police misconduct in New York City, officers
were allowed to carry guns but not Tasers,” says

Ryan Calo, assistant professor of law at the
University of Washington and co-director of
the Tech Policy Lab, which studies the collision
of U.S. law with new technologies—specifically
robotics and online tech. “They would have to
call in a supervisor for a Taser. This is because
the NYPD wasn’t sure officers would have
the experience or operational awareness to
make the decision to use nonlethal force, even
though they were trusted with lethal force.”
There’s a strand of thought that goes like
this: The less likely it is that a certain degree of
force will cause friendly casualties, the more
likely it is that someone will authorize a great-
er degree of force—even when it’s not 100 per-
cent necessary. If it shocks you that a police
robot set off a bomb in Dallas, what did you
think when a CIA drone fired a missile into a
car carrying American citizen Kamal Derwish
in Yemen in 2002? Derwish was associat-
ing with Al Qaeda. It was at the height of the
war on terror, and the CIA’s unmanned aerial
vehicles—General Atomics MQ-1 Predators—
were being retrofitted to shoot Hellfire air-to-
surface missiles at the world’s biggest threats.
But it raised a furor nonetheless. Shouldn't

POLITICS

1. Robots such as RoboteX's Avatar Ill are actively marketed to law enforcement, yet few police agencies buy them because
of their high price tag. 2. Police bots are primarily used for the removal of explosives; the response to the mass shooting in
Dallas is an exception. 3. Dallas officers embrace hours after Micah Xavier Johnson killed five of their own.

American citizens be arrested (or at least an
attempt be made to arrest them) before be-
ing gunned down? If not for their sake, then
for the integrity of our Constitution? Where is
due process in the age of technology?

“Legally, the two scenarios are controlled by
wholly different laws, but the ethical consid-
erations are quite similar,’ says Ron Sullivan,
a Harvard law professor who focuses on civil
liberties, criminal law and criminal procedure.
“Co-extensive with the militarization of police
a decade or so ago has been the increased inci-
dence of use of force, including lethal force. The
psychology of warfare is markedly different
from the norms that should animate policing.”

The laws governing police use of force, deadly
and otherwise, are set out in the 1989 Supreme
Court ruling Graham v. Connor, in which a
man sued Charlotte, North Carolina police for
using excessive force after they observed him
quickly enter and leave a convenience store,
behavior they found suspicious. Dees explains
the Supreme Court’s ruling: “Any use of force
must be objectively reasonable in the eyes of
the officer, and any subsequent reviewing ju-
dicial authority has to consider that officer’s

perspective in ruling on the reasonableness of
the officer’s actions. This applies whether the
use of force is via an empty hand, a firearm ora
brick of C-4 Or a robot.

Robots, bots, brobots, drones, automatons,
mechano-men, androids, mandroids, repli-
cants, terminators and UAVs—one can imag-
ine the American executive branch has been
into robotics since Tron. The CIA and the
Department of Defense began acquiring and
developing unmanned aerial vehicles in the
early 1980s to the point that, according to the
U.S. Navy, there was at least one UAV in the sky
during every second of the Gulf War.

Years earlier, in 1966, America’s mad-
scientist division, DARPA, funded the first
modern unmanned ground vehicle, or UGV.
“Shakey” was remote-controlled, wheeled
and about as automatic as shoelaces. A human
driver—not anything resembling Al—made
all the calls. As with many of DARPA’s ideas,
the Department of Defense went lukewarm
on it until interest in UGVs reemerged in the
early 1980s. The vehicles were built to see in-
side dangerous buildings and territories and

=
4

_ The most expensive Mercedes-Benz? ever made. Rarer than a Stradivarius violin.

Not actual size.
Shown is model in Pearl White finish.
Also available in Ruby Red finish.

How to Park $11.7 Million on Your Desktop

The 500K Special Roadster is one of the rarest and most-sought after automobiles ever built.

t's hard to deny that one of the signature

models of Mercedes-Benz® is the 500
series. So many striking and elegant bodies
would grace the stalwart chassis. The
500K's of the 1930s were beautiful,
elegant, and exclusive models often
outfitted with voluptuous coachwork and
sold to the wealthiest of clientele.

The most ravishing model of this species
was the two-seater 500K Special Roadster
launched in 1936. It was a limited production
cabriolet, in total less than 30 were made,
adding to its near-mythical qualities. In its
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to manipulate explosives placed by enemies
and suspects. American police departments
have been using them for the same purposes
for two decades.

Arming these robots isn’t a foreign idea to
those who manufacture them. Northrop Grum-
man, of which Remotec is a subsidiary, has sold
accessories that mount a Franchi 612 or Penn
Arms Striker 12 combat shotgun to its Andros
UGV since 2004, though sales literature refers
to the Franchi 612 as a door-breaching tool and
the Penn Arms Striker 12 as a delivery system
for less-than-lethal rounds. So the ability to arm
robots has been there for more than a decade.
In reality, most police agencies don't have ready
access to robots; for those that do, the devices
are rare and expensive, used mainly for explo-
sives disposal and for entry into areas deemed
too hazardous for police officers.

“Robots with guns are impracti-
cal” says Eric Ivers, president of
robot manufacturer RoboteX. He
says RoboteX has dealt with at least
a thousand police departments, in-
cluding those in San Francisco, Los
Angeles, New York City, Chicago,
Seattle and St. Louis. “Reloading
would be nearly impossible at the
point of use, and delay in wireless
signal is a possible problem. From
my perspective, the biggest problem
is the speed with which a gun could
move and track a subject. People can
move faster than current police ro-
bots can track them. By the time the
operator could locate, aim and fire,
the subject would likely have moved
far enough to avoid being hit.”

Two Korean firms, Samsung Tech-
win and DoDAAM, and one Israeli company,
Rafael Advanced Defense Systems, have devel-
oped near-autonomous sentry guns for border
defense along the Korean Demilitarized Zone
and the Gaza Strip, respectively. Software de-
tects and tracks targets through body-heat sig-
natures, but each gun relies on a human operator
to fire. Good thing, because an automatic sentry
can't distinguish between friends and enemies;
it targets anyone it sees. And because they’re
long-range stationary platforms, these devices
are unsuitable for police work. Put wheels on
one and roll it into a hotel room or a bank, and
deficiencies will show up immediately.

“A robot is not agile enough to protect its
weapon from being accessed by a hostile,” says
Dees. “It’s a relatively simple task to creep up on
aremote-controlled vehicle, tip it over, throw a

POLITICS

net over it or grab something off it, especially if
the vehicle is out of sight of its operator, whose
perspective is limited by the vehicle’s camera.”
Neither is a robot good for fighting with
explosives. “Robots don’t really need modifi-
cation in order to be used the way the one in
Texas was used,” Ivers says. It isn’t the price
tag of the Dallas Police Department’s $151,000
Andros, which survived the explosion, that
keeps police from deploying suicide bots, he
says. “Any remote-controlled toy car or truck
could probably be rigged, driven to a location
and detonated. Police have not used explosives
in the way Dallas did mostly because there are
better ways to accomplish the same goal.”
Police face situations in which they have
to end a life for their own and others’ safety.
There’s no getting around that. But those who

“ARMED ROBOTS
MAKE THE DECI-
SION TO USE LE-
THAL FORCE MUCH
EASIER BECAUSE
THE HUMAN BEING
IS REMOVED FROM
THE SUBJECT.”

make that decision should also follow legal and
civil regulations. Some, like Sullivan, want
police departments to write protocols spe-
cifically for the use of armed robots. “Armed
police robots, in effect, add an insulation layer
between the police officer and the subject. It
makes the decision to use lethal force much
easier because the human being is removed
from the final point of contact with the sub-
ject,” says Sullivan. “And my strong intuition is
that shared responsibility increases the likeli-
hood of irresponsible decision making.”

For others, the current regulations are
enough. According to Hummer, every police
department already has in place language
relevant to armed, nonautonomous robots,
but that language is written exclusively for
firearms. Something as simple as a broaden-

ing of terms—from “firearm” to “any tool in
the police arsenal”—could fix that. “As with
any critical incident, there is a supervisory
decision-making process whereby a senior ad-
ministrator has the ultimate responsibility for
using deadly force,” he says. In Dallas, it was
the chief of police and the mayor. When there
isn't time to call police headquarters, it's the
senior officer on the scene. “We have seen in
recent months that every level of officer from
top management through line officers can be
held accountable for misuse of force,” Hummer
continues. “For instance, half a dozen officers
were indicted in the Freddie Gray case in Bal-
timore” Use of an armed robot, as in Dallas,
is subject to the same hierarchy of potentially
shared responsibility.

One day robots will be as standard-issue as
Kevlar vests and sidearms, particu-
larly for negotiation, surveillance,
bomb disposal, door breaching and
distraction. Forthe moment,though,
and for foreseeable moments, armed
robots are as much an aberration
as they are a legal means to an end.
“Assuming the robot is tele-operated
at all times by a person, I don’t see
a particularly greater impact than
snipers, full-body armor or other
militarized police tactics,” says Calo.
“The current constitutional frame-
work is sufficient to address a situa-
tion such as Dallas, wherein officers
use a robot to kill someone.”

“I don't think overall police deci-
sion making will be affected much
as a result” says Hummer. “Every
police incident is a continual flow of
circumstances, and no two are ever

the same. Discretion is the most critical com-

ponent of doing police work. 1 firmly believe
policing will be one of the last occupations to
have the human element diminished.”

Still, to others, the mere presence of passed-
down military robots is enough to affect police-
civilian relations. “Society would be much better
off if the structural divide between military and
civilian police remained distinct,’ says Sullivan.
That said, starting discussions about autono-
mous robotics and true AI would be wise. Au-
tonomous robots are coming, without a doubt.
And as humanity accelerates its efforts to create
artificial intelligence, preparing for that day is
smart contingency planning. The moment it ar-
rives will be a watershed because it will, for the
first time, shift judgment from the officer using
the machine to the machine itself. E

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POLITICS

SEDUCING THE

VOTE

The science of persuasion is reshaping politics—and the men’s room—forever

We're putting the band back together. That was
the message UCLA psychology professor Craig
Fox sent out this past summer to a tight-knit,
rarefied group of academics at the nation’s top
universities. For more than a decade, this un-
usual team, which calls itself the Consortium
of Behavioral Scientists, has worked to un-
cover new information on how people make de-
cisions. Now their expertise is being deployed
for an urgent mission: maneuvering the public
into voting for Hillary Clinton.

Major corporations have been employing this
type of persuasion science in their advertising
and sales strategies for years. One of the most fa-
mous applications helped clean up filthy men’s
restrooms at the airport in Amsterdam. (Come
to think of it, this may be perfect for politics.)
Rather than post signs instructing men to aim
into the urinals, the airport’s solution was to
etch the image of aflynear the urinal drains. The
result was that men locked their aim onto the
flies, and the floors had 80 percent less residue.

Fox offered Democrats this type of insight
into decision making in 2004, but presidential
nominee John Kerry wasn't interested. He lost,
and George W. Bush was reelected. By 2006, the
academics were so offended by Bush’s policies
that they went into overdrive to sell Democrats
on their science. At the time, the Bush Republi-
can machine was pushing the rhetoric that the
war in Iraq was part of the “war on terror.” The
Democrats’ denial wasn’t cutting it, so the con-
sortium helped craft the line that the war in Iraq
was a “detour” in the war on terror. Hillary Clin-
ton, then a New York senator, paid close atten-
tion and attended a small meeting where some
of these “decision scientists” gave advice on how

to take Congress back from the GOP. Using this
new message in various forms, Democrats won
control of both houses of Congress that fall.

It sounds like the spin-doctoring of press
secretaries and communications strategists,
but the field of decision science is already in-
fluencing U.S. politics. In the political game,
these academics look at questions and conduct
real-time experiments through e-mail polling
and web-link tracking to find which messages
move people to volunteer, donate money and
deliver a vote at the ballot box.

Fox assembled the group again to get Presi-
dent Barack Obama reelected in 2012. Helping
were Robert Cialdini, who earned his Ph.D. in
social psychology from the Univer-
sity of North Carolina, did postdoc-
toral work at Columbia and wrote the
best-selling book Influence: The Psy-
chology of Persuasion; Michael Morris, a pro-
fessor at Columbia Business School who has
written morethan 100 articles on decision mak-
ing for psychology and management journals;
SamuelL. Popkin, a Massachusetts Institute of
Technology Ph.D., professor atthe University of
California, San Diego and author of The Can-
didate: What It Takes to Win—and Hold—the
White House; and Richard H. Thaler, a behav-
ioral economics pioneer, University of Chicago
professor and co-author of Nudge, a book about
tactics such as etching flies on urinals.

He was so impressed with Obama when they
met in 2004, Thaler told The Guardian, that
he made the first political contribution of his
life to Obama's campaign for the U.S. Senate.
By 2008, Thaler was being described as the
"in-house intellectual guru" of Obama's White

By JOHN
MERONEY

House run. The campaign never admitted to
using the scientists' advice—but after win-
ning, Obama himself praised their unique re-
search and appointed Cass Sunstein, co-author
of Nudge, as administrator of the White House
Office of Information and Regulatory Affairs.

When I contacted Thaler to ask him about
Fox's group and their advice for Clinton, he
refused to talk and accused me of *making up
claims." But his colleagues who did provide me
with information firmly believe they're on a
mission. And Clinton is fortunate these experts
lean left, because even with Donald Trump's
repeated meltdowns, he's an agile persuader
and an expert at controlling the conversation,
whereas Clinton often "short cir-
cuits," as she put itin August.

Other experts in persuasive
techniques argue that Trump's
off-the-cuff, authentic remarks are more
deftly calculated than he lets on. Trump has
such a mastery of persuasion (he grew up with
The Power of Positive Thinking author Nor-
man Vincent Peale as his minister) that he
has internalized the techniques, according to
persuasion expert Scott Adams. Known for
his popular Dilbert comic strip and author of
Howto Failat Almost Everything and Still Win
Big, Adams runs a blog that includes thoughts
on the art of persuasion. ^Trump's technique
matches pretty much point for point what the
best persuaders would do,” says Adams.

So Clinton is going to need something revo-
lutionary to beat Trump at his own game. Re-
ferring to one of Professor Fox's stars, Robert
Cialdini, Adams admits, “If Godzilla's in the
fight, Trump's got a problem." [|

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KEVINHART

INTERVIEW

Kevin Hart is poised to become the biggest stand-up comedian ever. Not that he's kicking
back to celebrate: His movies, including Ride Along, Get Hard and Central Intelligence, have
raked in more than a billion dollars globally, and yet he works like an unknown still angling
for an NCIS callback. Since last January, Hart has appeared in half a dozen films, includ-
ing this month's What Now?, a genre-hopper about his recent record-breaking global comedy
tour. That movie, which mixes stand-up footage with a fictional James Bond-style back-
story, is expected to smash box-office records too. Hart is also producing TV shows, building
a video-on-demand network, partnering on tech deals and signing endorsement contracts.

In other words, his life is as dazzling as that
gold mike he wields on stage. No wonder he
calls himselfthe “comedic rock star.”

At 37, Hart is at the peak of his popularity,
and all signs point to continued domination
on screens both large and handheld. He has
a keen sense that comedy today is an every-
where experience, whether you're spending
an evening with him at the megaplex, buying
his new Nike “Hustle Hart” sneakers or let-
ting him guide you on the Waze app. Wher-
ever you go, Hart’s quicksilver voice and
contagious energy are with you.

He was born on July 6, 1979 in Philadelphia,
the younger of two boys. His mother, Nancy
Hart, raised them; father Henry Witherspoon
was a heavy drinker and coke addict who spent
time in jail on drug charges. Being funny
saved Kevin well before he was getting laughs
professionally. At the shoe store in Philly
where he worked, his pratfalls and snappy ob-
servations made him the star salesman on the
floor. But “regional manager” wasn’t going to
cut it. After high school, Hart played small
comedy clubs under the stage name Lil’ Kev

the Bastard. People urged him to quit, but he
followed the paths blazed by heroes like Chris
Tucker, J.B. Smoove and Eddie Murphy, even-
tually willing his way to Hollywood.

For years Hart struggled. Sitcom after sit-
com tanked. SNL rejected him. His marriage
collapsed. But he turned heartache, and even
his mother’s death from cancer in 2007, into
gold. His 2011 Laugh at My Pain stand-up
tour and subsequent concert film became his
first real hit. The five years since have been a
rocket ride: He hosted the MTV Music Video
Awards, guest-starred on Modern Family,
produced and starred on the Real Husbands of
Hollywood series and made a handful of mov-
ies each year (The Wedding Ringer, The Secret
Life of Pets and Think Like a Man and its se-
quel, to name a few), all but one of which went
to number one. He has two young kids, Heaven
Leigh and Hendrix, from his first marriage,
and this year Hart married model Eniko
Parrish. Along the way, he became a living
counterargument to an ugly show-business
assumption: that African American actors
can’t sell movie tickets in the global market.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY CATHERINE SERVEL

Contributing Editor David Hochman, who
last interviewed Trevor Noah for PLAYBOY,
spent several days with Hart on both coasts
over the past year. “Kevin’s got this mas-
sive, hyperactive energy that makes you for-
get he’s a small guy,” Hochman says. The
two of them hung out most recently in the
ultra-luxurious Baccarat Hotel in Manhat-
tan, where Hart was tailoring the menu to
his dramatically fitness-conscious tastes:
“TIl have a burger but no cheese, no lettuce,
no tomato, no onion, no sauce and definitely
no bun,” he told the amused waiter. “Do
the same thing with a chicken patty.” Says
Hochman, “Kevin knows what he wants in
every situation. It’s not Oscars. It’s beyond
mere money and fame. Kevin Hart wants to
be the Genghis Khan of comedy.”

PLAYBOY: Your new stand-up concert film
follows you on the biggest comedy tour of all
time: 156 shows, 112 cities, 13 countries and
five continents. That’s a lot of airport body-
cavity searches.

HART: You get used to it. The good thing is,

flying private takes a lot of the hustle and
bustle off it, makes the ins and outs a little
more convenient. But the whole goal behind
the tour was not only to make history but to
go beyond what people would expect a come-
dian to do. To be able to play so many venues
in so many cities and countries, to sell out
multiple shows and arenas, to do stadiums—
it blows up the idea of “You’re just a guy
telling jokes,” right? You show the global im-
portance oflaughter.

PLAYBOY: How does your material change
when you're playing to a crowd in Singapore ver-
susanaudience in, say, Brooklyn or Cape Town?
HART: I change nothing nowhere. Noth-
ing. That's the beauty of it. To be-
come a universal comedian and
really stay true to the meaning
of universal, you come up with
comedy that appeals to everyone.
We set so many records. We sold
100,000 seats in New York alone,
with three sold-out shows at Mad-
ison Square Garden and two more
shows at the Barclays Center in
Brooklyn. It's completely crazy.
And it's not just crazy here. My
international shows sold out in
three days, all with the same ma-
terial and the same level of laugh-
ter. California, Cape Town—the
people are amazing, and they re-
spond. Durban, Qatar, Dubai, Sin-
gapore. Same thing everywhere.
Funny is funny.

PLAYBOY: What was the toughest
crowd?

HART: Well, Abu Dhabi was def-
initely the scariest before I got
there. I was so afraid to go because
I didn't want to offend anybody. I heard you
could rub the culture in the wrong way. You
know, because ofthelanguage and sexual con-
tent, I wondered, How far can I push it? What
canIdo? ButItalked to people, and they said,
"Kevin, these are your fans. They want you
over there."

PLAYBOY: Did you really think something
would happen to you?

HART: I didn't want to have a problem with a
sheikh or the royal family and then not be able
to get out of the country. But then I got there
and it was the complete opposite. All these
people dressed head to toe in the sheikhy garb,
and they're roaring with fucking laughter. It
was mind-blowing. Mind-blowing. The shit
they're laughing at in Abu Dhabi is the same

INTERVIEW

shitthey'relaughingatin Australiaisthesame
shitthey'relaughing at in Philadelphia.
PLAYBOY: You sold out Lincoln Financial
Field stadium, where the Eagles play in Philly.
Doing stand-up for 53,000-plus people in your
hometown must have been wild.

HART: That was some wild-ass shit. First time
a comedian ever sold out an NFL stadium.
We knew Philadelphia was going to be mas-
sive, so we turned it into a huge production.
We had 84 cameras on me and a gigantic wall
of screens behind me. So my backdrop was a
video wall that acted as a visual point of view
that matched whatever I was saying through-
out my show. As I'm joking about my house,

There's this
idea that

actors of color

don't sell

movies outside
the U.S. Look at
me and Gube.

the screens change into the set of my house.
Now I'm talking about my backyard. It flips.
It switches. As I'm walking out, the cameras
walk with me. I wanted to transform my stand-
up comedy show into something with a movie
dynamic that's never been seen. And then shit
starts to explode. We go all James Bond Casino
Royale with the biggest fight scenes. Fire on
the stage. A whole backstory about what hap-
penedto me leadingup to the show. People say,
“Whatthe hell are you doing, Kevin?" But with
a movie like this, it can't just be me coming out
and telling jokes. We're too big for that. The
production has to be big. I paid too much not
togo huge. I'm in with finances for about $13.8
million on this one.

PLAYBOY: You personally financed all this?

HART: Out of my damn pocket. Every cent.
This is all me. I fully financed a movie, and
Universal distributed it. They actas a partner.
Iknow me. I know my value. When you're deal-
ing with other people's money, you can't con-
trol it. But when you invest in yourself, you're
in charge and the rewards come to you.
PLAYBOY: Some have predicted this could be
the highest-grossing stand-up concert film of
alltime.

HART: That is the plan. I'm going for the win
onthisone, you know? Eddie Murphy still holds
therecord for stand-up concert film for Raw, at
$50 million in gross. My last concert film, Let
Me Explain, did $32 million, but that was on
only 900 screens or something like
that. This one is on screens every-
where. All signs are pointing that
this could be the big one. This could
achieve the highest level of success
ever. It's all part of the progression.
PLAYBOY: But does bigger equal
funnier?

HART: I grow with my fan base,
тап. I grow and I change. If you look
at my stand-up specials—if you look
at I’m a Grown Little Man and then
at Seriously Funny and Laugh at
My Pain, you see it. So What Now?
shows my progression not only as
a comedian but just as a man. You
see me going through things. You've
seen me married. You've seen me
go through a divorce. You've seen
the consequences of divorce. You've
seen my kids grow up, and as they've
grown, how I’ve changed. Now that
I’ve changed, how do I feel? How do
I feel about where I am, people treat-
ing me, the places I put myselfin, my
relationship with my family?

PLAYBOY: What's it like when you come across
one of your old stand-up routines now?

HART: It can be weird. I was watching Grown
Little Man recently, and the way I’m touching
the mike, you can see my nervous energy. I’m
not comfortable, at least not at the level I’m
at now. I’m also rushing. You’d think some-
body was chasing me with a machete. The
speed is off the hook. There’s no break. Now
I see a guy who’s full of fear. You’re out there
on stage and you look up, you see all the peo-
ple, and there's real tension: All right, I don't
want to lose these people. Now I feel like I'm
much more in command. It’s all about grow-
ing and improving. I want to continue to get
better as a stand-up.

PLAYBOY: Not that your movie career is hurt-
ing. In the past year alone, your credits have
included What Now?, Ride Along 2, Central In-
telligence and The Secret Life of Pets.

HART: [Laughs] Yeah, I feel like a slacker if I
don’t have a movie coming out every two months.
PLAYBOY: Chris Rock joked at the Oscars this
year that he can’t afford to lose another role to
you. What do you make of the complaint that
African American actors don’t get the same op-
portunities in Hollywood as white actors?
HART: First of all, Chris is a great friend. I
thought it was a great joke. Here’s
my opinion: When people speak on
the diversity issue in Hollywood
or the lack of actors or actresses of
color, I’m not going to sit up here and
play dumb to it and act like it isn’t
an issue. But at the same time, when
you bring more attention to an issue,
it becomes a bigger issue. Whereas if
you try to figure out a solution and
do things to help position yourself or
people of different races, shapes and
sizes to have more options, that’s
where youcan be of service. If you’re
not making shit happen, you just
become a part of the problem. You
know what I mean?

PLAYBOY: But how does the prob-
lem get fixed?

HART: For me, I’m actually doing
some of the stuff that people are
saying black performers aren’t get-
ting the opportunity to do. That
includes taking my movies inter-
national. You know there's this idea
that actors of color don't sell mov-
ies outside the U.S., but look at what
me and Cube did. The first two Ride
Alongs, youre looking at some-
thing like $278 million in world-
wide box office revenue with two
African Americans as your leads. And yet no
attention was thrown to the fact that we were
breaking major ground, because so many peo-
ple were focusing on what wasn’t happening
in the industry. I can’t get stuck on the nega-
tive. Let’s keep grinding. Let’s go to 25 coun-
tries and promote the hell out of it. Then let’s
come back and do another one. Now, whether
we do a Ride Along 3 or not, what Cube and I
have is special, and we know it can work here
and around the world. Same thing we saw with
Straight Outta Compton, a major success do-
mestically and internationally. Universal
Studios saw it. They got it.

INTERVIEW

PLAYBOY: You almost always share the screen
with a major co-star, whether it’s Ice Cube,
the Rock or Will Ferrell. Is there any reason
you don’t do a straight-up Kevin Hart movie?
Where’s your Beverly Hills Cop?

HART: I’m just slowly building up to it. It’s
not like you can walk in and tell the studio,
“All right, give me all your money. I’m ready
to do the $100 million movie.” I mean, I can go
in and say that, but here’s the thing. I’ve had
one number-two movie. Every other movie I’ve
done has been number one atthe box office. My

fans love what I’m doing. I’m also switching it
up, you know? I’ve been lucky enough to be
part of two franchises. I got Think Like a Man,
Think Like a Man Too, Ride Along, Ride Along
2 and possibly Ride Along 3. And it’s not like I
haven’t done any Kevin Hart movies. My stand-
up concert films are my movies. The Wedding
Ringer was like a Kevin Hart movie, and it was
a good movie. That's Kevin Hart’s name in the
lights, nobody else’s.

But there's a reason РЇЇ go do Central Intel-
ligence with the Rock. It still makes sense to
do that, because to become that international
star, you want to get with somebody who can

help you achieve that. The Rock is that guy.
So for us to team up and have that pairing
was amazing. I also broke into the animation
space with The Secret Life of Pets and now
Captain Underpants.

PLAYBOY: Would you ever do a drama?
HART: It's in the works. I'm going to do The
Untouchables with Bryan Cranston. It's a re-
make of the French movie The Intouchables.
That'll be my first and I'm looking at another
one, but I'm slow walking into these things.
To be honest, I'm not looking for the artsy
stuff, the stuff that's going to go
under the radar for a group of in-
tellectual people to watch and say
[in highfalutin voice], *Oh, this is
one of the most marvelous films."
I'm about box office success. But
sure, after I'm done having fun
and achieving the box office suc-
cesses, then ГІЇ go and take the
risk of doing the more serious,
more dramatic. But if I'm trying
to break international waters and
show the world that comedies do
play overseas with lead actors of
color, you don't just try to do it all
by yourself—then people start say-
ing you can't do it. But my numbers
add up. No matter what anybody
says, Kevin Hart is bankable.
PLAYBOY: You have 20 million-plus
followers on Facebook, 30.5 million
on Twitter and 40 million on Insta-
gram and Snapchat. Does that ever
freak you out?

HART: Are you kidding me? Any-
thing that gives you the opportu-
nity to test out material and get an
instant reaction from a population
as big as a country? It's a godsend. If
I want to test out ajoke, I put it out to
my followers and see in five seconds
what works and what doesn’t. That’s changing
comedy. For people coming up, not only can you
test out your material, but you build that fan
base. You get 100,000 or 500,000 followers and
now you can say, “Hey, you should invest in me
and my idea because they love me on Twitter
or Facebook or Instagram or whatever.” Peri-
scope? I love that shit too.

When you look at what a guy like, say, Mark
Zuckerberg has done, it’s amazing. I haven't
met him yet, but I can’t wait to. I’ll probably
have 5,000 questions for the guy. I just love
the fact that he’s creative and what he’s done
with that company. I also really love Snapchat

right now. You see somebody like DJ Khaled on
there. You got to take your hat off to him for re-
creating himself. He's found a niche. The Rock
is funny as hell on Snapchat too. If you’re a
comedian in 2016 and you're not jumping into
the tech space, you're going to get left behind.
Me? I'm not being left behind. You know why?
I've got Kevmojis.

PLAYBOY: Kevmojis?

HART: That's right, Kevmojis! Everybody uses
animated emojis, but Kevmojis are real pho-
tos of my face doing a million different twists
andturns. How many people have the ability to
really change up their face that many times?
Not many, that's who. So I went and did a bunch
of different facial expressions, and
now you can use them instead of
that little yellow smiley-face shit
people use. I’m always thinking,
always building, always moving
to whatever's new and exciting.
That's why I hashtag ComedicRock-
StarShit. I know people are looking
at their phones and seeing me sur-
pass just being a comedian.
PLAYBOY: For someone who loves
his devices, you’re unusually strict
about audiences not using phones
at your live shows. A woman in Iowa
City was arrested after she called a
friend during one of your gigs.
HART: I told you there’s a lot of
money invested in my shows, and
I don’t want to see that money go
down the drain because everybody’s
filming me and putting that shit on
YouTube. More than that, you want
people to watch. Enjoy it, people.
Put yourself in a position where you
can laugh. As much as I love social
media, at these live shows, it distracts people
from actually seeing and enjoyingthe show, be-
cause everybody is worried about getting that
great piece of footage to show to their Twit-
ter friends or on Facebook Live or whatever.
Ican't stand it in my own house. My kids love
their screens. I don't remember the last time
my kids went outside and kicked a stick or
something. So at my shows, I don't want your
mind on footage. I want your mind on me on
the stage. Again, I'm taking entertainment to
alevelit's never been before, and I want people
rightthere with me.

PLAYBOY: Did you always have this level of
ambition?

HART: No. Actually, here's the crazy part. As
a kid in school, I had no real desire to reach

INTERVIEW

the highest levels of education. I was not that
guy. But I’ve always been a person who pushed
to the ultimate realm of things that I loved. If
I had a passion for something, I figured out a
way to be the best at it. That started with video
games. Tecmo Bowl, Double Dribble, remember
those? These are the games of the past, but it
was me trying to figure out everything I possi-
bly could to have an edge. Then basketball be-
came the passion. I wanted to go to the NBA.I
said, “Mom, I want trainers. I want to take pri-
vate lessons. I want to be in the gym all day."
And I would spend all day in the gym.

PLAYBOY: Your mother was a computer ana-
lyst atthe University of Pennsylvania. Clearly

Shit’s not funny
unless it’s true
to life, and noth-
ing was fun-
nier than my
mom and dad’s
relationship.

she was smart enough to see that you weren't
NBA material.

HART: Hell no! My mom was the opposite of a
dream killer. She was the person who told me I
could do anything I put my mind to. Her thing
was: Anything you start, you have to finish. You
start a book, you finish the book. You start a
sport, you finish the season. It's still the major
rule we live by in my household. We don't quit.
І don't care if you don't like it. My kids get into
some new project, it’s got to get done. I went as
far as I could in basketball, but then, yeah, you
go, Okay, maybe somebody like me could excel
even more in another line of business.
PLAYBOY: Your dad was in and out of jail,
and you've joked on stage about him show-
ing up at your school spelling bee on a cocaine

high, shouting, “All right, all right, all right!
My son’s spellin’ the shit out of these mother-
fuckin’ words!” How much of that is true?
HART: Shit’s not funny unless it’s true to life,
and nothing was funnier to me growing up than
my mom and dad’s relationship.

PLAYBOY: But he was actually stealing money
from you to buy drugs, right? Where’s the
comedy in that?

HART: He was stealing, 100 percent. From
me, from other people. But honestly, this is the
beauty of who I am. I’ve always had the abil-
ity to find a positive in any negative. Coming
up, of course, what kid doesn’t want his par-
ents to be happily married? You want to wake
up every day and see Mom and Dad
in the morning, being all snuggly
with you and lovey-dovey, and then
good night. Every kid wants that.
For me, I didn’t have it, so I had to
deal with what was there. My par-
ents weren’t fond of each other.
They were hot and cold and frozen
cold, and my dad could be crazy.
So my mom would let him have
it. He'd come home with stuff he
bought. “That’s probably stolen!”
she’d say. “That stuff can’t come
in this house.” I’d be thinking, But
look how cool these toys are. She’d
go, “You ain’t touching that stuff.
Set it down. We're going to give it
back in the morning.” Then my dad
would be like, “Ain’t nobody stole
that stuff!” Mom would go, “You
did steal it.” “No I didn’t.” “Then
bring a receipt. You got a receipt?
Then he can keep it.” I’m like,
What? Why am I the butt of this
stuff? Even if he did steal it, it’s sit-
ting right here waiting for me to play with. But
my mom would always win.

PLAYBOY: Is it true she died before she ever
saw you perform?

HART: She died in 2007, so she saw my success.
But she never saw me do stand-up because, you
know, she was a churchgoing woman. The lan-
guage and all that was not something she was
going to enjoy. But I know she’s watching over
me now. She’s seeing it all. That’s my angel. I
definitely believe in heaven. I believe that when
you pass away there is a place where these posi-
tive spirits go, and I feel like I have one. Them
days you feel are your toughest days, you're
okay, because you've got somebody pushing you
in the direction to smile.

PLAYBOY: You had it pretty tough coming up

as acomedian. Didn’t someone once throw a
chicken wing at you?

HART: Yeah, yeah. [laughs] Somebody was
that frustrated with my material that they de-
cided to throw a half-eaten buffalo wing at me.
Sloppy sauce and all. And you hear the worst
stuff when you're starting out and nobody
knows you. “Brother, this ain't for you. You need
to fucking do something else.” That wasn't just
the audience; itwas friends, family, peers, who-
ever. All that stuffis nothing to me but ammu-
nition. People say, “No, you can't.” Well, here I
am, motherfucker. But even so, you
look around and you're playing at
some shitty-ass places. In the early
days in Philly I was doing bowling
alleys and nightclubs, strip clubs,
people's living rooms, places that
weren't conducive to comedy at all.
PLAYBOY: You wereturned down by
Saturday Night Live too.

HART: Lorne Michaels and I joke
about that now. He's been doing this
for solongand he knows comedy. He
lives it. You can only admire a per-
son who's given his life and devoted
himself at the highest levels of en-
tertainment for more than 40 years.
Iwas probably just having an off day.
That wasn't my only rejection. I was
the death of every sitcom I was on for
a while. You struggle, but you keep
going. It'sthe only way. Ithinkthat's
why you have certain stars and why
some people can't make it in show
business. I think the ones who made
itarethe ones who heard the word no
and didn’t let it affect them and were
strong enough to hear the word no
again and still continue. I'm actually
glad I struggled, because I can look
back and connect yesterday's lows to
the highs I'm experiencing now.
PLAYBOY: By the way, how's your relationship
with your father these days?

HART: Oh, he saw the mistakes he was making
and the people he was hurting. He's in his late
60s and clean as a whistle. My dad is a man's
man. His pride is heavy, but he got to a point
where he wanted to be a father and make up for
alotofthe mistakes he made with my brother
and me. My brother held more of a grudge, but
I’m different. I'm justa forgiving person. I take
care of him now.

PLAYBOY: Did you ever worry about those ad-
diction genes passing down to you? What's your
history with drugs and booze?

INTERVIEW

HART: I'll tell you what. Having the knowl-
edge about what drugs and alcohol did to him
was the greatest gift he gave me. NowIcan tell
you 100 percent, ^Hey, man, don't do drugs.
That shit will fuck you up." My dad got fucked-
up bad. I mean, I'm human. I’ve done things in
the past, but I'm nota drug guy. I drink. I'm not
abusive with drinking. I'm very much in con-
trol of what's going on, but that’s a combination
of my mom and my dad. My dad’s mistakes be-
came beams of light to me. My mom’s strict
rules of behavior are the reason I’m in line.

PLAYBOY: Who were the people who made you
want to get into comedy?

HART: Redd Foxx. Eddie Murphy. I had to
sneak around to listen to Richard Pryor. George
Carlin, Sam Kinison. Andrew Dice Clay, Chris
Rock. My mom wouldn’t allow that in the
house. She let me watch Sinbad because he was
clean. Seinfeld. Martin Lawrence. There were
others, of course.

PLAYBOY: Did you purposely leave Bill Cosby
off the list?

HART: No. Bill Cosby was a huge influence.
He’s still a comedic legend, and his impact on
me remains massive. What he has done in his

personal life, I obviously don’t support. Ifall ar-
rows point to him doing what all these women
say he did, then I hope he’ll be dealt with ac-
cordingly. But I still have his picture up in my
house. He’s one of my comedy heroes.
PLAYBOY: So often we hear about the private
troubles of our favorite icons. Prince was sup-
posed to be a clean-living Jehovah’s Witness.
Then he dies ofa drug overdose.

HART: Yeah, you don’t know what goes on
behind those closed doors. But Prince lived
his life the way that he wanted to live it. He
was one of the most intimidating
men to meet, I'll tell you. Some-
body like Prince, you don’t want to
go and talk and be stupid. The one
time I met him, I didn’t even want
to make eye contact as he was walk-
ing by. You’re like, Shit, here he
comes. Okay, look down. All right,
wait a minute. He smells good. Is
he gone? What? He wants to say hi.
Hey, P-P-P...do you even call him
Prince? I'm confused. So you go,
“Hey, man,” and that sounds stu-
pid. The man was such a talent. You
don't want to tarnish his legacy.
Digging up and finding specula-
tions about people—it won't bring
him back, so why bother?
PLAYBOY: What about the next
generation ofentertainers? Who are
you watching?

HART: In comedy, if I had to put
together a quick list, there's Lil
Rel—I think he’s very funny. Wil-
liam “Spank” Horton, Na'im Lynn,
Joey Wells. Those are guys who’ve
been with me for a long time and
I think are very talented comedi-
ans. Keith Robinson. I mean, tons
of comedians in New York I came
up with that I would love to see get
a shot. David Arnold, who I was producing
something for. Corey Holcomb. These are
guys I think have an amazing comedic per-
spective and point of view and could become
huge names. A lot of these guys will be fea-
tured on a new network I’m launching this
fall called Laugh Out Loud. It’s a new video-
on-demand network in partnership with
Lionsgate. We just shot 52 comedy specials
over the summer. I want this to be a multi-
cultural platform for comedy, stand-up com-
edy, miniseries, viral content. I want this to
be a hub where people will go.

PLAYBOY: What motivates you to do so much?

Didn’t you also sign a big sneaker endorse-
ment dealthis year?

HART: First-ever sneaker endorsement for a
comedian, that’s right. Why stop, you know?
The Nike deal grew out of my love for physi-
cal fitness, and Ilove the factthat Inow have
a platform for that. I was out of shape. Well,
Ithought I was in shape, but I wasn’t, so I de-
cided to get into shape. I started doing 800
to 1,000 sit-ups throughout the day. I bench
about 260, 265. Being in shape motivates me
to do other things too. You have to look at
yourself and go, What am I doing? I want to do
action movies? I want to be an action-comedy
star? I can’t be an action-comedy star look-
ing like this [slouches and blows
out gut]. So now that I’m getting
my act together, let me see if I
can get other people who want to
get it together. So I started doing
5Ks, putting the call out on Ins-
tagram and whatnot, and people
started joining us. Thousands of
people. We’ve gotten crowds of
people of all shapes, sizes and
ethnicities, and they come out to
challenge themselves for that day.
You hear the stories: “Hey, Kevin,
thank you for getting me out of
my bed to come run.” “Hey, I had
triple-bypass surgery and I was
just lying around not doing any-
thing, but you made me want to
get up and get myself together.”
“Hey, man, I'm acancer survivor.”
When you start to see the effect
you have on people and you start
to see the faces and hear the sto-
ries, you know you're doing some-
thing right. It’s the satisfaction of
knowing that I motivated people. That’s an-
other effect I’m having on the world. You have
your window of time here on earth, and you
want to try everything.

PLAYBOY: Don’t you ever just want to take
avacation?

HART: We go and do stuff, sure. I’m very much
a family man. When Dad goes to work, he’s
working for a couple weeks, but then I’ll be back
for acouple weeks, and we want to do something
fun. We'll go to Orlando. It's not about Disney
World or anything like that. It’s us, house, nice
little barbecue setting, the family doing three
meals a day. I'll tell you, the best party is just
me and my wife with my kids. Nerf gun fights
with the babies, movie night, taco night, game
night. We love to play [Ellen DeGeneres’s app]

INTERVIEW

Heads Up. My kids make me smile. No matter
how bad it gets out here, knowing that they’re
okay, that calms me down.

PLAYBOY: You got married this summer.
What did you learn from your first marriage,
which ended in divorce?

HART: I was 22 years old. What happened hap-
pened when it was supposed to. I’m where I am
now in my relationship for a reason, and I’m
happy. At some point, you're not going to keep
searching. What else are you trying to find?
You eventually go, All right, this is it. I’m going
to die with this one.

PLAYBOY: Tellus aboutarecent splurge. Youlike
cars and watches, judging from your Instagram.

When people

go, “Man,

you’re short,”
I’m like, Oh,
good job, sir.
You cracked

that case.

HART: I bought the new Benz truck. I love
it. The G65 is a major upgrade from the G63.
I also recently had my Shelby rebuilt from
the ground up. It’s a beautiful 1966 hatch-
back Eleanor, black with silver streaks. I
get something big for myself every time I do
a big movie or project. The Shelby was from
the first Ride Along. I got a Mercedes SLS
AMG for Laugh at My Pain. My Ferrari 458
Italia is from Let Me Explain. I bought my
house from Think Like a Man. Other than
that, ГІЇ buy myself a watch. Those are def-
initely my weakness. I like Cartier, Rolex,
Richard Mille, Patek Philippe. That’s my
guilty pleasure right there. It’s a little bit of
an addiction.

PLAYBOY: Do you ever worry about losing it

all, going MC Hammer and blowing through
the cash?

HART: No worries there, man. Can’t do that
when you're doing the right thing. If you spend
more than what you're making, that's your
fault. If you’re in for $15 million on something,
and all you’ve got is $8.5 million, that choice is
going to crush you. The hard thing with money
is I try not to let it change or affect who I am
or who I’m shaping up to be. I don’t want the
money to play a major factor in it. You don’t
want to become one of these guys who can’t
zip up his own pants or put on socks or open a
door for himself. People get like that. They get
so rich they forget how to be a normal human.
The trick is to stay close to people,
to get out there in the public, to run
in Central Park, to talk to people, to
observe, to be real. It’s easy at a cer-
tain success level to isolate yourself
and disappear into a castle of your
own making.

PLAYBOY: Let’s move on. Do you
have any thoughts on the race for
the White House?

HART: I’m not a major political
guy. It’s not my cup of tea. I don’t put
my foot in that stuff. But I’m defi-
nitely going to miss Barack Obama.
Amazing man. Michelle Obama,
amazing woman. The fact that I
got to have dinner at a White House
Christmas gathering with the
first black president of the United
States, that’s one for the lifetime
highlights reel.

PLAYBOY: What do you make of
Donald Trump?

HART: What I can say is that I have
no ill will toward him or his cam-
paign, but I’m a people person. I love people. I
love the idea of people coming closer together.
My whole job is to unite people. You go to my
shows, there’s all races there. So the idea of
separating and segregating and dividing be-
cause of what someone believes in, that’s not
something I could ever get behind. I try to un-
derstand people and accept them, but it can be
difficult sometimes. Then again, I have enter-
tainer friends who are widely misunderstood,
and if you get to know them, you see what's re-
ally going on.

PLAYBOY: Who comes to mind?

HART: Kanye is probably number one in that
category. He's a good friend. You can say what
you want about Kanye and his approach, but
the passion behind what he's fighting for is

real, and I really believe he’s misunderstood
because of his passion. He's a monumental tal-
ent. His last album, The Life of Pablo, is incred-
ible. Best line of all time: “Name one genius
that ain’t crazy.” There you go. That’s Kanye in
a sentence. He's admitting that he’s crazy but
also calling himself a genius at the same time.
Same respect goes out to Justin Bieber. The
Biebs is my man. His last album also is fucking
amazing, and he’s a guy who does whatever he
needs to do to be himself, no matter how much
shit he gets for it.

PLAYBOY: You spend time with
Jay Z too. What’s that like?
HART: He’s the king. It’s like
being with the king. To be honest,
I’m asponge when I’m around that
guy. You just sit there and soak up
information on how he does what
he does, man. You see a guy who is
not content and constantly push-
ing and stretching. I mean, look
at Tidal and the flak people gave
Tidal when it first came out. “What
is this shit? It’s gonna fail.” Every-
body wanted it to fail. Nobody saw
potential. Now look at it. Tidal has
over 3 million subscribers. He’s
doing something right. When you
think about Jay Z, you’re looking at
a guy who has so much success in
music, but he took that music, and
took the money from music, and
turned himself into a business and
created X, Y and Z, and now sits at
the top of Roc Nation as a mogul.
You can't fight what people are des-
tined to be.

PLAYBOY: What about your des-
tiny? What’s on the horizon for
Kevin Hart?

HART: There’s definitely an exit
plan. I’m not going to give away too
much about it, but it’s a retirement plan. I’m
not going to be 50 years old and grinding at the
level I’m doing it now. The reason I’m build-
ing these things and putting all these pieces
together is because, at a certain age, I want to
say, Okay, I did it, and now it’s time to enjoy
myself, and enjoy myself doesn’t mean par-
tying it up, and being on a yacht and danc-
ing and stuff like that. It means enjoying my
home, enjoying my kids, enjoying the founda-
tion that I built.

PLAYBOY: Is there anybody you envy?
HART: I wouldn’t say envy, but I certainly ad-
mire what Eddie Murphy has been able to do.

INTERVIEW

Ithink he's very happy. I know him well. He's
very happy in his relationship. He just had a
baby and already has tons of kids. He doesn't
seem to be bothered by any piece of negativ-
ity. He plays his music. He has his hobbies. I
mean, atacertain age, you have to understand,
it's about being at ease. It's about doing what
you wantto do and not what people want you to
do. And when you look at the people who really
get that and understand that, I guess you could
say I am envious of that. Dave Chappelle—
again, people can say what they want. Dave

Chappelle, he's all right, man. He's a guy who
is very much in control of his life. He has a
farm with tons of animals on it, and he has his
kids and his wife, and he has his wonderful
life. He's setup, he's not answering to anybody,
and I'm very proud to call that guy a friend. I
want to be like that one day.

PLAYBOY: Ifthat's whatyou want, why not just
buy the farm now and call it a day?

HART: All in good time. I’m doing what I want
to do. I'm doing it at the level that I want to do
it, but what people have to understand is that
there's a difference in entertainment between
working because you have to work and work-

ing because you love to work. I love to work. I
love entertainment. I love stand-up comedy. I
love making people laugh. Ilove embracing my
fans. I love giving my fans content. I love the
fact that I can make a movie and people watch
the movie and say, ^That guy makes my day."
Iminlove with that.

For me, stand-up comedy is bigger than the
title “stand-up comedy." Stand-up comedy is
an effect. I have an effect on people. I have the
ability to change your day in a positive way.
I have the ability to light your day up. I take
pride in that. I don't take that for
granted. If you feel like you're just
going through the motions in life,
youcan turn on a Kevin Hart movie
or Kevin Hart stand-up, and you
know what? You laugh, and it takes
your mind off whatever that may be.
Give me your stress and ГЇЇ take it
away. That's the true art of comedy.
That's why, regardless of whatever
negativity I've taken from critics
or even other comedians, I'm true
to my fraternity of comics, because
very few people can do what we do.
I got chosen as one of the guys who
are funny. Thank you, God. I get it.
Now my goal is to be the best at it.
I'm going to do what I can to be the
best and the biggest.

PLAYBOY: You talk about being
the biggest. Be honest: Does it of-
fend you when people make fun of
your height?

HART: When people go, “Man,
you're short," I'm like, Oh, good
job, sir. You cracked that case. What
a genius! It's the thing that people
have known for the last how many
years I've been in entertainment?
But you just figured itout. It doesn't
bother me, no. I'm good either way.
You can't offend me.

PLAYBOY: Great. In that case, one last ques-
tion. Are you sure you're not driving so hard
to overcompensate for, you know, some other
physical shortcoming?

HART: [Cocks head and lets eyes go wide] All
right, brother, all right. I don’t know what to
tell you, man. I’m happy. I'm very happy. I’m
happy over here and I'm happy down there.
Definitely happy. That’s the best way to put it.
That's my nicest way. I’m not overcompensat-
ing for anything. Iam in a great space. A great
space. I’m living it! Things are flying! Life is
good! It's great being Kevin Hart! Ei

The men and women on these pages will change how you think about business, music, porn,
comedy, gaming and more. They’ve risked it all—even their lives—to do what they love, showing us
what can be accomplished if we break the rules. Meet the Renegades of 2016

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JASON DILL

In 2009, pro skateboarder Jason Dill had to call
9110nhimself. He was throwing up blood all over
his New York City apartment and suffering from
agastric hemorrhage. The Jameson, Vicodinand
Percocet cocktails had finally taken their toll.
"Ididn'tthinkTd even survive,” says Dill, who
now stars on the Netflix series Love. “When I'm
on the set, I’m quietas a mouse. I'm just so blown
away and thankful I’m there. And the last thing
I ever wanted was the responsibility of own-
ing a company that people expect more from—

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PARK. IT WAS SO IMPORTANT
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because owning a company is a pain in the ass."
In 2013, after kicking the pills and spending
more time on his board, Dill ditched his long-
time sponsor, Alien Workshop—one ofthe most
popular skateboarding companies ever—and
walked away from a partial-ownership offer to
co-found board brand Fucking Awesome, an ex-
tension of his self-funded apparel side project.
In doing so, Dill dumped a bucket of ice on
the once-countercultural world of skateboard-
ing, which in the previous 17 years had devolved

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into aG-rated parody of itselfto appease moms
and malls, and woke it the fuck up. The exodus of
Alien’s riders to Fucking Awesome was swift. It’s

“now one of the top-selling and mostknocked-off

companies in boards and streetwear, despite its
provocative. graphics, null socialmedia i presence
and label that prevents mass retail saturation.
“I suppose FA is like having a kid,” he says:
"It's got personality; it's walking around and
talking. I can’t let it go to a community college,
you know? I gotta raise it right."—Rob Brink

Stoya tells me about the mid-19th century pfima
ballerina Emma Livry. In an era when dagcers
routinely caught fire from stage lights, Livry
refused to destroy the ethereality of her Art by
soaking her tutu in flame retardant. When sh:

died of burns, she had no regrets. Stoya notes `
thatpanic about safety often focuses on the bod-
ies, and the choices, of young women. She won-
ders why no one thought to move the lights.

This moment hints at Stoya’s ferocious mix
of glamour, toughness and nerdery. A classi-
cally trained ballerina until an injury in her
ens ruined her prospects, Stoya became
star—and I use the word star in the
sense that applies to Garbo. She has written

for The New York Times, starred in a Serbian
sci-fi film (the upcoming Ederlezi Rising) and
trained as an aerialist in Moscow. She has also
moved into entrepreneurship, co-founding the
genre-defying porn site TrenchcoatX. When
one of the biggest porn studios in the country
treated her with disrespect, she chose to work
as a waitress rather than kowtow. No matter
what she does, Stoya exudes a fierce, hard-won
sense of freedom.—Molly Crabapple

LAURA JANE GRACE

Laura Jane Grace has been minutely scruti-
nized since she started the band Against Me!
as an anarchist-inspired solo project in 1997.
Punk purists frothed as the Gainesville, Flor-
ida group's sound evolved from lo-fi folk
to full-on anthemic pop punk, leading to a
major-label record deal in 2007. (These days,
the band releases music on its own Total
Treble imprint.) Fans and critics stopped and
stared when Grace came out as transgender
in 2012—an event with few precedents in the

testosterone-drenched world of punk rock.
This November, two months after the release
of the seventh Against Me! album, Shape Shift
With Me, Grace will cap off her odyssey so far
with a memoir titled Tranny: Confessions of
Punk Rock's Most Infamous Anarchist Sellout.

Back in May, Grace made headlines for
burning her birth certificate onstage in North
Carolina to protest the state's anti-trans bath-
room law. But her music and writing signal a
more intimate strain of activism: Listening

to Against Me! songs such as “I Was a Teenage
Anarchist” and “True Trans Soul Rebel,” it be-
comes clear that Grace has always lived where
the personal and the political collide. Her pain-
fully honest, deeply human way of articulating
that friction is the definition of Grace. And she
still believes in the scene that has sustained her,
even as it has threatened to drown her in expec-
tations. “The influence that punk rock has had
on my life is astounding,” she says. “Ijust think
music is infinitely important."—Jonah Bayer

ALIWONG

Ali Wong wanted it all (career, relationship,
baby), got it alland mined every last minute
ofitin the process. The comedian currently
juggles her mom duties, her day gig as a writer
on acclaimed sitcom Fresh Off the Boat and
her thriving stand-up career—while taking
every conventional rule of comedy and bend-
ing it to her liking.

Wong’s Netflix special, Baby Cobra, filmed
when she was more than seven months preg-
nant, is truly hilarious and groundbreaking.
Now, as a new mother, she’s on another mis-
sion: speaking openly about finding a bal-
ance between her hormones’ command to stay
home with her daughter and her professional
need to stick to the comedy grind. The good
news? Whatever she’s doing, it’s working.

“Last year in San Francisco, before Baby
Cobra, they had to put some of my tickets on
Groupon because I couldn’t sell all the seats,”
she says. “Now this year, at that same venue,
tickets for five shows sold out in less than one
minute.” Sure, the crowds may be changing,
but the objective of an Ali Wong show has al-
ways been the same. “I want people to laugh to
the point that they can’t think.” —Jamdie Loftus

“PVE ALWAYS WANTED TO

BE A HOUSEHOLD NAME AS A
STAND-UP COMIC AND ALSO BE
A MOTHER. I WAS NOT GOING
TO ACCEPT THAT THEY WERE
MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE.”

PAUL BEATTY

Paul Beatty may be America’s most hilarious—
andsubversive—writer. In July, the Los Angeles
native's daring fourth novel, The Sellout, was
long-listed for the prestigious 2016 Man Booker
Prize. The gleefullyunhinged satire followsthe
misadventures of one Bonbon Me, an urban
weed and watermelon farmer whose father, a
prominent psychologist and “Nigger Whis-
perer,” is gunned down by the LAPD. With the
settlement money, Bonbon reinstitutes segre-
gation, acquires an elderly slave and lands him-
self, stoned, before a baffled Supreme Court.
“Tt all starts with the language,” says the
54-year-old (who was also the first-ever Grand
Poetry Slam champion, in 1990). “That’s where
all the latticework is for me.” Indeed, the thrill
of The Sellout lies not only in Beatty’s delirious
conceit but also in his virtuoso riffs that take
bull’s-eye aim at race, class, pop culture and
propriety in our supposedly postracial America.
“I get nervous when things don’t make people
nervous,” Beatty says. “A lot of writers of color
feel there are certain directions they have to
take: what your point of view ٦ be,whocan
do what, how positive it has to be. Sómebody's al-
ways going to tell you what it means\to be a black
writer, what responsibilities you have. Just try-
ing to create some space is important to me.”
And that’s exactly what Beatty does, obliterat-
ing the boundaries of what is funny, what is pro-
fane and what is just so sad and unfixable that we
can only laugh to keep from crying. There’s a bit
of truth in every good joke, and perhaps in that
truth we are able, after the laughs subside, to bet-

ter see the world and ourselves in it.—Jame Yeh i

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NOOR TAGOURI

For anyone with preconceived ideas about
women who choose to wear a headscarf every
day, Noor Tagouri is disorienting. She’s sim-
ply not what you expect: a 22-year-old jour-
nalist (she likes to call herself a storyteller)
on the verge of becoming this country’s first
hijab-wearing news anchor. As of June, she's an
on-air reporter for Newsy, where she provokes
the sort of confusion we could use right now,
in part by making a surprisingly bold case for
modesty. Asabadass activist with a passion for

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demanding change and asking the right ques-
tions, accompanied by beauty-ad-campaign
looks, Tagouri forces us to ask ourselves why
we have such a hard time wrapping our minds
around ayoungwoman who consciously covers
her head and won’ttake no for an answer.

A West Virginia native and first-generation
Libyan American, Tagouri graduated from
college atthe age of 20. In 2012, her #LetNoor-
Shine campaign went viral. Her 2015 TEDx
talk advocated unapologetic individuality,

and her YouTube channel draws tens of thou-
sands of viewers. More recently, she collabo-
rated with streetwear brand Lis’n Up Clothing
on a fashion line that includes a Jean-Michel
Basquiat-inspired sweatshirt. Half the pur-
chase proceeds go to Project Futures, an anti-
human-trafficking organization. Americans
have a long way to go when it comes to how we
regard Muslims, but with Tagouri burning
down stereotypes and blazingnewpaths, we’re
a healthy stride closer.—Anna del Gaizo

SEAN MURRAY

Everyone dreams of being an astronaut; Sean
Murray made a game that lets you play one.
This summer, the 36-year-old's company,
Hello Games, released one of the most ambi-
tious video games in recent history: No Man’s
Sky. The gorgeous sci-fi adventure allows
players to explore more than 18 quintillion
planets—yes, quintillion—thanks to clever
environment-generation technology. Travel
to massive worlds suffused with rich colors
and teeming with alien creatures—then dodge
galactic cops in your spacecraft.

The Ireland-born, Australian outback-
raised Murray created his first game when he
was just five. “My parents always jokethatthis
is all I ever wanted to do,” he says.

Murray founded Hello Games in 2008 with
three friends after quitting hisjob at Criterion,
abig studio that got bought by EA, an even big-
ger studio. Sick of slaving away on blockbust-
ers such as the Burnout series, he wanted to
flex his creative muscles. Today that's not a
unique origin story for an independent game
developer, but back then, in the days before the
Apple App Store, itwas.

“We were some of the first people to do that,”
he says. “In our minds, it wasn’t some path to
success. It was more like, I can't work here any-
more, and I need to go do something different.”

No Man's Sky, the third release from Hello
Games, launched in August after three years
of feverish buildup among gamers obsessed
with the promise of endless exploration. It's
a high-water mark for video games—and like
a true artist, that's all Murray really cares
about.—Mike Rougeau

T WAS A BIG MOTIVATOR: WHAT IS

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SKY

THERE’S THIS ENTIRE “SHUT UP AND
BE PRETTY” MENTALITY. I'M SO TIRED
OF APOLOGIZING. DON’T PACIFY ME.

BRUCE DERN: | love that PLAYBOY is allowing you
to give an interview that shows people what you
want them to know rather than what they want
to hear. One reason I fell in love with you is that
| don't meet many young women your age who
are genuine, but every fucking note you sing is
genuine. What's the biggest challenge for an
established singer who is trying to be an actress
at the same time?
SKY FERREIRA: You'd think it would
make it easier to book jobs, but when
people have an idea of you and who you're
supposed to be, it gets in the way. I actu-
ally started acting first but then stopped
and went to New York to focus on music.
Music gave me the freedom to do what I
wanted to do so I wouldn't have to go on
the Disney Channel or Nickelodeon.

DERN: When did you move to New York?
FERREIRA: I was 16. I got signed, but the
label tried to make me into someone I
wasn't. I felt like they were all lying to
me, agents and managers and the re-
cord company. I write my own stuff,
which is unusual. I go into situations
trusting people until they do some-
thing wrong. It's not little things. I'm
a sensitive person, and sometimes it
seems like I'm being irrational, but it's
for valid reasons. When something is so
true to me and I know on the inside it's
wrong, I can't hide it.

DERN: Ben Harper said to me, “I'll tell you one

thing about Sky Ferreira: She's 25 years ahead of

the game.” Your most unusual quality is that, at

your age, you have confidence in who you are, and

that's why your struggles come so often.
FERREIRA: A lot of people don't listen to
or see their surroundings. I can see the
ugliness and the beauty in everything.
Music is away for me to get it out, and it's
why I also love acting. Both are personal
to me. Iget to exorcise my demons with-
out it affecting my life. There's a switch
when I'm performing.

DERN: Have you ever studied acting?
FERREIRA: I started to see an acting
coach when I got older.

DERN: Stay away from that. | taught acting for

a long time, and Га never teach anyone younger

than 25 because of life experience. When I taught,

I didn't teach how to act. | taught about investi-

gating your own behavior.
FERREIRA: I've wanted to act for a while,
but I get scared I'll sign up for some-
thing and it will be a disaster. I'm the
type of person you either love or you
hate, because people don't know what
box to put me in. I don't like feeling I
have something to prove, but I do feel
that way. I didn't want to make my new
record about dwelling on the past. I
just wanted to get better. When I get at-
tached to something, it's all parts of me.
Ithas to be 1,000 percent. In some ways
that's why I had to take a break after my
previous album. I think that intimidates
people to a certain extent.

DERN: Don't try to please anybody but yourself.
FERREIRA: When I get angry, آ‎ get stuck.
I've heard I'm *intense" my entire life. I
can be exhausting to people, but I try to
reason with them. Then finally, if that
doesn't work, I have to walk away so I
don’t go off. Obviously, if I'm doing some-
thing wrong, I'll apologize. But I'm so
tired of apologizing for stuff I shouldn't
be apologizing for. Don't bullshit me.
Don't pacify me. Why do I always feel
like I have to earn respect from people?
I don’t need to feel I’m a burden by doing
what I'm supposed to do.

DERN: Do you have a feeling that the people sur-

rounding you in your career dream the same

dream for you? That's essential.
FERREIRA: I've had a lot of people who
pretended to but didn't. Even when
I was 15 years old, going by myself to
meetings with Sony or some other place,
they'd be like, “Little girl, you don't
know what you're talking about." But
they kept wanting to get my music from
me. There's this entire “shut up and be
pretty" mentality.

DERN: It seems you have a mechanism where

there's never a moment when you're not retain-

ing the shit that's going down around you.
FERREIRA: Never. That's why I have so
much in me. Sometimes it's too much.
For example, last night I got only an hour

of sleep. I woke up feeling like I couldn’t
move. But I thought, I’m not doing this
work for nothing. No matter the circum-
stances, I’m going to make the best of it,
even if I have to complain and be misera-
ble during the process. I don't really have
regrets. A lot of people are scared to fail,
but I’ve never been much of a winner.
That’s why I don’t care about doing stuff
that could open up an easier way for me
to do the films I want to do. I don’t like
having people rely on me to win.
DERN: / never go into a situation thinking I’m here
to entertain people. | go in thinking | have to give
a little bit up today and leave a piece of myself
behind. It’s a quest. And you’re trying to do that,
especially when you sing.
FERREIRA: I started making music be-
cause I felt I might be understood if I
did. I need to forge my own path, because
no one else is going to do it for me. I get
upset that I don’t get help from the peo-
ple who should be helping me, but it’s the
way I choose to live.
DERN: No. "It's the way | live.” Fuck “choose.” You're
going to live however you're going to live. You're a
person doing the writing for yourself, and you're
light-years ahead of guys your age. All my life I’ve
been searching for the Big One in terms of love.
Have you had that feeling yet, that you’re on the
edge of finding the Big One?
FERREIRA: Yes and no. I didn’t kiss a guy
until Iwas 15 or 16, which was pretty un-
heard of. I was mature in so many other
ways, but sexually I was such a prude.
I’ve learned from people who are now
in my past. Now I respect myself, and
I didn’t before. I actually had to learn
to be completely alone, to be okay with
being alone, sitting in silence and not
feeling weird about it.
DERN: You have a light and a sensitivity that are
magical. Even with an hour of sleep, you don’t look
tired. You look very much like Charlize Theron,
and she’s never fucking tired. If you can find a
way to balance your music with acting, we'll be
entertained. You have so much to give. You have
too much going on for us not to be entertained.
FERREIRA: If you want to come along for
the ride, go ahead. =

DM THE TYPE OF PERSON YOU EITHER LOVE OR
YOU HATE. I DON’T LIKE FEELING I HAVE SOME-
THING TO PROVE, BUT I DO FEEL THAT WAY.

Mom's a mess, Dad's a drunk and junior's having sex—a fractured family
spins out of orbit and into dangerous trajectories

ILLUSTRATIONS BY PETER STRAIN

FICTION

It sounds like a damn joke and maybe it is one. The other day Richard
had asked the doctor where the sting in his back was coming from.
Doctor said, It’s coming from your back. And he was kidding but also
wasnt. Trick backs and necks are what your 40s are all about, Rich.
And your 50s, боз and 70s. * Nothing he could do about it? + Nein. It’s
natural wear and tear, especially with you former athletes. * Former
my ass! No, former your back. Take glucosamine and fish oil.

Hotbaths. Stretch and exercise. Tryahard futon.

Take it easy by lying on something hard,
says Dr. Common Sense. Great: So Richard's
back pain isn’t coming from his back, it's com-
ing from his futon. A futon's not a bed. So now
he takes hot baths. His fingers twiddling in
soapless water make currents drift against
his thighs, and the pain, which is what hockey
turns into, steeps away. But he laughs because
now he gets it: In an hour, the pain will be
back, the joke will be back, the tricks will be
back: in his back. And he feels tricked.

Richard has turned his cell phone off. So
has the phone company. Fine—he needs
to distract himself from distractions any-
way. And fine—since anymore the only ones
who call him are the guys from community
hockey asking to borrow his goalie pads. Or
else Leigh, the chick he’s been seeing on and
off (she's on; he's off). He met herthrough the
personals and she's been talking marriage
from date two. “Listen, Rick, we’ve both been
through this hokeypokey. I don’t even want a
wedding. It's just good sense for two old hides
to be together. You're that cowboy type who
needs to be dragged into doing anything good
for you. Well, if it makes it easier, put it this
way: We get hitched, you get all the sex you
want. You like sex, don't you?"

Women can talklike that now, say whatever
they want and it's equality so long as it's at
his expense. Leigh's a mouth. Usually he’s the
mouth. And he's never “Rick.” At any rate,
nobody's getting married.

Hechecks for cancer downstairs, and when

the bathwater goes luke he kicks out the plug
by its chain. Feels his ribs through a damp
cotton towel. Doctor's right, he needs exer-
cise, something to get his unemployed heart
in shape. A heart's not a bed. It needs to work
too. He does like sex. Could take the dog for
a run. But the last time Richard was outside
three days ago, the air was so thick with cold
that he coughed out his first few breaths and
after 10 minutes he had an ice cream head-
ache. When he staggered back inside he
checked the temperature, 47 degrees. Any-
way the dog's got hip dysplasia. A trick dog
that can't learn new tricks.

The air shrinks the mois-
ture off his body as he snaps
on his briefs and walks to
sit at his computer. Spam,
spam, can't figure out how to cancel it, hey-o,
there's the one:

Dear Mr. RICHARD F. DYERS,

As a world-class establishment with eight loca-
tions across the Pacific Northwest, Bob Hope's Laf-
fateria receives many applications. We're sure you'd
make a great addition to our first-rate LINECOOK ,
but given the current economic—

Richard doesn't know how to delete it so
he switches off the power strip and walks
to the kitchen, scratching under the elastic
of his underwear. Teakettle weighs a thou-
sand fucking pounds apparently. Somewhere
under all the back issues of Shootout the cord-
less phone rings, can't find the cocksucker.

sy TONY
TULATHIMUTTE

The landline makes him feel older than any-
thing else. Down the hall the magnetic tape
in the answering machine spins and a voice
lays itself across it. How can a phone be no-
where? How the hell do you answer a phone
that's nowhere? Suppose you don't. Suppose
instead you watch the TV for one God-blessed
reason to move.
After four rings Suzanne hears her own dull
duh voice on the other end speaking the out-
going voice-mail message, which is less than
outgoing: “You've reached Richard and Tim-
othy Dyers and Suzanne Ueda, the Dyerses.
Please leave a message. Okay,
so now what do I—” beep.

He still hasn't changed
it. No surprise that he'd en-
shrine her at her stupidest. “The Dyerses"
never sounded right. “Harrises” sounds
right but “Williamses” doesn't. Huh. Dyerses
Dyerses Dyerses—well, now she can't tell. In
the message's background she hears the old
stove's hood fan and the TV news from four
years ago. Had she been cooking? She never
cooked. Richard neither. She lags after the
machine's beep, and trying to make her
pause sound deliberate, or at least not de-
ranged, she painfully extrudes her words.
"It's Suzanne. It's about Tim. If you still care
about your son, you'll call me back. Same
number. This is important. B——” she says,
halting herself.

In the bathroom, she thinks about the vir-
tue of self-sufficiency but then cries anyway,

touching her eyes with the corner of a towel,
lightly so they won't turn pink. She imagines
a smarter self, standing behind her, arms
crossed—Real independent, this figment
says, very Woman Having It All. After a few
cri-du-chat breaths, she blows into a folded
square of toilet paper and dimly recovers. In
the mirror she anguishes over mouth lines
that no longer vanish with the relaxation of
her face, thethought-crease between her eye-
brows, so much for the ostensible Asian fuck-
ing fountain of youth. Then there's her new
haircut, which made the face that should’ve
looked heart-shaped look fat.

In the hallway, her answering machine indi-
cates a missed message. “Suze—it’s Peter. We're
going on-site Monday and we should dress for
success. One of those start-ups that gets their
first taste of VC money and thinks they're an
enterprise. Ping me when you getthis.”

Peter is a managerial fast-tracker, a passion-
ate hander-offer. His job consists mostly of not
stuttering. While Suzanne sumo-wrestled the
in-house IT and shit-kicked through log files
and fought the screen-glow migraine, Peter
would be kibitzing with his management

kindreds, trading restaurant recommenda-
tions and explaining that Memecare was pro-
nounced meh-meh-care and not meem-care
since the company was founded before memes
were memes. Thank you ibuprofen, thank you
coffee, thank you half an Ativan.

God and here she’d just made the stupidest
phone call of her life to avoid thinking about
work. It’s the first time she’s reached out to
Richard sans lawyer in two years, and when
he gets her message, he'll want to know what's
up with Tim. Then what'll she say? Certainly
not the truth: that nothing was wrong, that
she was lonely. She would’ve called Colleen
instead, if Colleen weren’t on her extempore
jaunt to Germany with her husband. Child-
less couples can do that. Colleen is Meme-
care’s HR lady, a compact woman with a
queen-size butt that looks implanted. Since
the separation Suzanne has relied on Colleen
as a social chaperone, and in her reintegra-
tion, Suzanne found herself asking questions
like “Can I wear jeans there?” Suzanne waits
on Friday nights for Colleen’s summons to
go and sip their enormous drinks. Suzanne
sways solo to the music and practices flirting

with the bartender, who she hopes is gay, and
it’s time for more moronic questions: “Um, so
what goes into a manhattan?”

Colleen’s fun energy, let’s be honest, makes
Suzanne feel torpid. Next to her Suzanne isa
hippo, an unhippo, hur-hur. But the alterna-
tive is to go out alone. Better to be inferior.

With Colleen in Europe, with nobody’s
childlessness to borrow, Suzanne is just a
mediocre mother. Tim’s in his room watching
cartoons on TV and picking at an unplugged
Stratocaster. His long flat body spans the
armrests of his couch, and the bladelike
angles of his recently pubesced face star-
tle Suzanne. None of her fat to soften them.
When Suzanne enters he doesn’t look up.

“Dessert?” Suzanne asks. “Ice cream?
Wait, no, we're out. I could go get some."

Not even a grunt. She hates when Tim
doesn't engage. Suzanne stares at the color-
ful mayhem he's staring at. TVs are so huge
now. He's too old to watch cartoons but car-
toons are so filthy now that he's also too
young. It's okay as long as he's passing his
classes, though it's ironic that Richard, com-
munity college dropout, takes the credit for
that, since Suzanne was never home to help
with Tim's homework. Did Tim miss his fa-
ther? He'd never tell her, and she's the only
one who needs to know. He probably tells
his friends. She always forgets their names.
She knows what they're thinking: Who's the
weird awkward Asian lady raising a white kid
a foot taller than her? Can she even speak
English? And the answer was yes—she just
didn't, sometimes. She hates Tim's friends
and is polite to them.

But Suzanne adores his girlfriend Cristina.
Elegant feminine manners, which must be
cultural. Suzanne tries not to over-trill her
Latin name, though weren't you supposed to?

"How's Cristina?"

“Fine.”

Tim never asks for money, which is ei-
ther worrisome or not, and he bikes him-
self around. He doesn’t smoke anything,
although she supposes it wouldn’t be terri-
ble if he did (thought the Cool Mom). She’s
never had to discipline Tim, and probably
couldn’t. If something were wrong with him,
she’d have told Richard the truth. She's got to
stop worrying. Teenagers need privacy, and
Cool Moms know that privacy means total
estrangement.

She leaves the den feeling like she needs to
talk with him before he leaves for college in
three years. But about what? If only they’d

had anything in common. If Tim had been a
girl, or Asian. That is, what if Suzanne had
gotten her way re: adoption? But it wasn't
good to consider what you were owed, and
also? What awful things to think.

Lately dark blurs have appeared in Su-
zanne’s vision. Flushing her eyes doesn’t
help and rubbing makes it worse, but she does
both. Something may be wrong with her brain
and not just her personality. Every time she
tries notthinking tumor, shethinks it. Walk-
ing to the kitchen for a glass of water, which
she'll either drink or pour on her eyeball, she
hears the phone ring and panics.

Before it finishes ringing, her body decides
to seize her purse and keys off the kitchen
table. “Tim, I'm going out for ice cream.
Don’t stay up late.”

"You're not my real dad!” he shouts back.

A joke.
Then Mom whams the door shut in the exact
way she always says notto wham it. Now she's
hauling across the lawn to the car instead
of taking the walkway, another of her own
no-no's. Not even gonna answer the fuck-
ing phone, Mom? Tim gets up groaning and
answers the hall phone. Mom, a.k.a. Rules
RoboCop, a.k.a. Politeness Nazi, Heil Mom,
doesn't like when he answers with “hey” or
“hi” or “sup,” but there's no logical reason not
to. He says, “Sup.”

It's Cristina. For whatever
reason she won't text and never
calls his cell. She calls specifi-
cally so Mom knows she's call-
ing, so everything's proper. He
throws his guitar over and taps
up the phone volume. “How was
your day?”

Her endis quiet. He's not even
sure if she's still on the phone
but he doesn't want to say “Are you there?”

“Everything's okay,” she says.

“What...wasn’t supposed to be okay?” For
some reason he's talking all slow and weird
like he has to build each word from mud and
spit before sayingit.

“Something could've gone wrong.”

“Should I come over?”

“No. My parents are here.”

Itwas crazy last night how easy itwas. Cris-
tina's parents were at a party so Tim went
over and all the lights were out except Cristi-
na's window. He had been worried about hav-
ing to do something special, but she opened
the door and just was kissing him right there,

FICTION

and Tim did it back and pushed the door shut.
That was it. When she took her clothes off it
was weird. Like it wasn't normal even though
itwas fine. Aaahhh it was hard to explain. He
got on her and felt hot on his chest and thighs,
but he didn’t actually get very, like, sprung.
Everything looked great, her tits looked awe-
some, like the three times he saw them be-
fore, but they didn’t make him feel like porn
tits made him feel, like even non-great blurry
ones. And he definitely wasn’t expecting her
pussy to look that way, messy and really dark,
or feel that way, like different parts of the in-
side of his own mouth. But it was fine, he to-
tally still did it, and for like a long time too.
It just didn’t feel as good as he thought, not
even when he shot his load. Which literally
made no sense. And her face the whole time
was blank like, wuh. He left after, not saying
anything. Easy.

Tim paces around the den, into the kitchen,
as far as the phone cord can stretch. It’s so
stupid that they’re paying for a phone with a
cord, like, for real? Especially since he and
his mom have smartphones, and double es-
pecially since Mom doesn’t even talk on the
phone because she has no friends. He’s not
her friend. In fact, if he didn’t feel so bad for
her sometimes he would think she was a cunt
pretty much.

"Itold my parents we did it," Cristina says.

“Your parents? You told them we had sex?”

She doesn’t sound sorry, even a bit. “I don't
lie."

Tim's hands feel staticky. “But not telling's
not lying.”

“I never said it was going to be a secret.”

He knows that Cristina's family has cus-
toms and shit because they're not American.
They're Mexican, so Jesus makes her all se-
rious, and maybe her dark hair and really
straight posture is that sort ofthing too. She
can change her accent and when it's heavy
she sounds better. Her weird rules, where she
always needs to do some hypothetical right
thing, fuck him completely the fuck up.

“But they didn't ask you, did they? They
didn't know.”

“Tim, relax. They're angry, but it's okay.
They trust me. And this is why they trust
me. The one thing is they want to have me
examined.”

“What? For what?”

“Because we didn't use protection.”

“Why the fuck did you tell them that?
That's fucked-up!”

“Do you have a problem?” Cristina pro-
nounces it pro-blem instead of the right way,
praw-blum. “I need an examination and to go
to confession, but that's all, there's no pun-
ishment. So what is the matter?”

“I don't know,” he barely says.

“This was a bad idea,” says Cristina. “We
need to talk later—no, later, Tim.”

The house is quiet and he slugs over to his
room and drops into bed. It made no sense
why you couldn't just sleep whenever. After
Dad was fired they’d stay up late together and
watch those shows that were only reruns any-
more. That’s when his sleep started getting
fucked-up, like somehow whatever was mak-
ing Dad drink was making it hard to sleep.

After an hour awake in bed Tim kicks his
sheets off and goes to the bathroom to look
into the mirror at a goblin basically. Like,
yeah, he’s overall better off with Mom,
moneywise, but he wishes he could get on a

“YOU TOLD YOUR PARENTS
WE HAD SEX? WHY THE FUCK
DID YOU TELL THEM THAT?”

plane to Dad. All that has to happen is: Dad
gets ajob, Mom decides to be less of a useless
shred of cunt lint. She loved him before. Why
didn’t it get easier the longer you did it? Even
if he told them what to do, they wouldn’t be
logical enough to do it.

The hallway phone rings but Tim ignores it.
They were so afraid of change they still used
landline phones, but divorce is okay some-
how? The bathroom light is going through his
head like a spaceship and he flicks it off. He
fucked Cristina. He smashed the V. So what’s
the pro-blem. Why does he care about Cristi-
na’s parents or some whatever examination.
The phone’s last ring gets cut off by the

answering machine, and Tim sits on the toi-
let and boo-hoos like just acomplete wiener.

Suzanne gets to the bar and it's both loud and
mostly empty, with drunk people drinkingin
private spaces. A girl and a man at the end
of the bar are making out, nearly all-the-way
out, under a green Heineken neon sign. The
only time she'd been here was when Colleen
was in low spirits, when her husband can-
celed their Vegas trip because it would look

A GIN AND TONIC APPEARS,
TASTES LIKE ANTIFREEZE,
AND DOWN IT GOES, HOO.

bad if he took time off during his company’s
re-org. Colleen had shanghaied some younger
guys to play cards, draining and flipping
every shot glass they handed her. She sucked
on her hair and mushily muttered to Suzanne
about needing some fresh dick. Suzanne left
her at the bar, pretending that she'd prom-
ised to watch a movie with Tim.

And what happened the next morning was
so predictable that Suzanne was amazed it
even happened—a force field of hangover
oozing from the phone receiver as Colleen
sobbed, “Oh shit oh shit I am fucked beyond
life! І don’t know what the fuck... He was
such a creep, really —oh, I cheated with such
a creep—why did you bail on me?” Um, be-
cause you've done this twice before? is what
Suzanne should have said. Colleen drags Su-
zanne out; Colleen implodes; Suzanne has to
mop up Colleen’s sad yellow puddles of guilt.

No more begging permission. Suzanne is
here tonight by herself because she wants
to and can be and in life there are no real
rules. Suzanne is free, and with her freedom
and $5 she orders a white Russian and mez-
zes out into the mirror behind the bar, then
realizes she’s dressed in work khakis and a
pink button-down. Undeodorized too. A zit
of dried pesto on her khaki leg from lunch.
And these ugly clothes weren’t even cover-
ing a good body; no sir, it was schlump-upon-
schlump. She crosses her legs over the stain
and nods at the bartender when he sets her
rocks glass on the bar.

Midway through drink two, someone calls

FICTION

her name. She pivots on her stool and sees a
man standing so close to her that she can’t
see his entire face. “What’s the news, Suze?”

There he is, cozy old Peter, boss man, old
slackass intestinal parasite Pete Farber.
He’s flopping his hands around in his pock-
ets, smiling like there’s a rake sideways in his
mouth. “What’s a working gal doing here on
a school night?”

“This working gal is getting ready for a
week of good old-fashioned data recovery,”

Suzanne says dully, refusing to amend his
mixed metaphor.

“Super,” he says.

“Super duper.”

Perching next to Suzanne, Peter delivers en-
tirely without segue his philosophy of success,
which seems to involve squash at the YMCA,
deep tissue massage and a cross-platform
internet-blocking app. He gestures demon-
stratively, like he’s launching a product. Over
his shoulder Suzanne sees someone try repeat-
edly to feed a limp dollar into the jukebox,
which at last plays “Come As You Are.”

When Richard used to take her out—when
he bothered to go out, before he took to mak-
ing 10-pin arrangements of empties on the
kitchen counter—he would start conversa-
tions with waiters, passersby, other couples,
anyone in range of his yap. Whereas Suzanne
was so cowed by chitchat, by the pressure of
knowing his friends expected her to be this
trembling Asian concubine, that she came
off as slow and diffident even though she'd
kicked ass in college and she made the money.
But nobody at a bar cared if what you said
was astute or informed or even true. People
wanted to laugh. So she needed a few seconds
to say nonstupid things; Richard just said
them, and the wide way that he talked, that
nonstick coating of Georgia around his vow-
els, exonerated everything. She became Rich-
ard's duller half, to whom you spoke only out
of the goodwill of proximity, with no friends
of her own. She should have foreseen that as
an adult in the job world, his charm would

fail. See where the love of charm got her.

“——that's where I say nuh-uh, 13.5 percent
is just a little bit ridiculous. Three things
about me: I hate wasting time, money and
food. It's the rule of minimums. Speaking of
which, I'll be going on a retreat this Febru-
ary, a safari of the Sierras thing. Boys only,
unfortunately, though sometime you'll have
to meet my buddies—ridiculous guys. But
they're great. Let me get you another."

Peter is still close enough that she sees the
hatch mark of hairs in his chin
cleft that his razor missed. But
his aftershave is nice—or not
actually nice, it's just nice to
smell aftershave. Or whatever
men use to smelllike something
other than drunk. A gin and
tonic appears, tastes like anti-
freeze, and down it goes, hoo.
Pete's voice has flattened into
the background noise, and it's
nicer than having to screen it out. Though
the side of his hand just made some maybe
probably not accidental frottage against her
forearm. Oh—another one.

She looks up at Peter and he isn't Richard.
But he's about the same height, median. Oh,
isn't that good enough? Half of everything
is below median. Can we not just have fun
without ramifying? But she doesn't have a
Suzanne of her own to bail her out. Well, but
she's not trying to do herself any favors. And
she'll get away with coming in late tomorrow.

From a bathroom stall Suzanne leaves a

message: "Tim, it's Mommy. Listen, take
care of yourself tonight. You're so mature, I
never tell you this but you are so much more
mature and capable than your father, and
I'mvery proud of you; you'll have no problem
handling things tonight. Have some friends
over. Have a beer, why not? I trust you. Love
you, sweetie."
Steam wiggles from the kettle spout. No one's
answering. Richard's been drinking a lot of
tea: gunpowder black, blooming flower, Lap-
sang souchong, dirty greens with canister la-
bels in foreign scrawl. The swallowing keeps
his mouth busy, and he swishes with hoji-cha
as he prepares the next pot. Richard hangs
up and tries again, and when someone picks
up, Richard asks for the manager. Man says,
“This is him. How can I help you?”

“Hey there, brother, Richard Dyers. How's
it going?"

“Can I help you with something?"

“How’s it going?”

“Fine.”

“Great to hear, brother. Well, what my sit-
uation is right now, last week I put in an in-
quiry for a position at your eck-stablishment,
which I’ve bought my shares of, I don't mind
telling you. I was wondering if y’all’d got
around to taking a look at my résumé yet.”
Richard pours hot water into a dirt-brown
mug and dunks the steeper.

“I do remember a query, yes. Hang on one
sec.” The phone at the other end is placed
down, and in the background is the mall’s PA
system. Man picks up again. “You were dis-
missed from your last job.”

“Indeed. No bull from me.”

“Can you give me some background on
that?” the man says.

“That, I believe, I
application.”

“Can you describe to me the way in which
you were ‘unfairly persecuted’?”

Richard makes himself smile. “A lot of shit
was getting shoveled in that place. A lot of
guys with agendas, plans hatching, little men
in brown helmets——”

“Sir, can you give me the reason they gave
you for your dismissal?”

Richard pops his knuckles just to rally up
ago-getting feeling. “With regards to that, it
may have been due to one episode of inebria-
tion. But it was after game time, practically
after hours and well, I know I don't have to ex-
plain this to you, fella, we’ve all been there.”

“Tt also says here,” the man adds, “that up
until last year, you were a hockey referee.”

“Yes sir, and believe me, that’s referees.
Drinking’s part of the culture.”

“T follow hockey. I don’t recall anything
like that.”

“Local teams. Hawks versus Dragons.”

“T’ve never heard of either,” says the man-
ager. “You mean Clement Regional Junior
High Hawks?”

“This one cholo was disrupting the game.
Chucked a hot dog on the ice. The way he was
going on, who knows, hot dog coulda melted
through, hurt some kids. I was right by him.”

“And?”

“Frontier justice, I confess.”

“Okay, Mr. Dyers, we’re getting a little off
track. We don’t have any positions open.”

Richard feels a dizzying strike of anger.
Words roll up his spine and out his mouth.
“Bullshit, sailor! I saw that HELP WANTED
sign yesterday.”

And it’s done.

included on the

FICTION

It’s bright in here. Sun coming up off the
surface ofthe tea into a fat web of light wob-
bling on the ceiling. Richard looks at the
phone like he’s giving it three seconds to
apologize, then chucks it across the kitchen,
which is the den too. The phone strikes the
wall, battery lid flying off, and hits the car-
pet softly; the dog jingles awake in his basket.
Nine-volt battery dangling like a gouged eye.

He fills the kettle again at the faucet, but
he’s already full of tea, his gut so swollen an-
other cup will throw his back out. But that
doesn't mean he has to stop drinking—or
for that matter that he has to drink tea. In
the closet. Behind the skis. Paper bag. Or-
ange discount sticker still on it. Adults with
no problems kept booze in the house all the
time. It was something you had just in case.
For guests, people in shock, cuts, the com-
mon cold. Lots ofuses besides that one. How
long since? Not since Suzanne. And nowhere
close to enough to, God forbid, enjoy.

It was only being married that made it a
problem. Not just for Suzanne, but for every-
one. But how do you convince anyone you're

clean, once their eyebrows go up? They didn't
have to smell it on your breath either, just step
one toenail over the line. Leave the bathroom
with your shirt untucked and you're off the
wagon so far as the Joneses are concerned.
Any fun and you're fired. You can't drink—
you're a father.

But what's a father who never sees his kid
anymore? Maybe ifthere was that solid band
of blood connecting him to his son. But there
wasn't. His parenthood was repossessed.
They took everything but what he didn’t have:
ex-hockey, ex-husband, ex-dad. Now Richard
is squatting in the closet and he’s not feel-
ing like a father, not feeling anything except
for dust, until his fingers brush the textured
glass and label. Okay, slow it down, not right
from the bottle. It goes into a Dixie cup and he
toasts the dog and drinks, breathes it in, ap-
ples, caramel, moss, alcohol, reminds him of
when everyone liked how he was, when he was
like the Dean Martin of his own life. Cheers

to Suzanne, to Tim. To Matty Dyers who took
12 shots and laid his genius ass down in a
snowbank in 1993 and didn’t get found until

a plow hit him two days later with a solid pond
ofice in his mouth. Here's to Dean, ain'tthat
a kick in the head...

Suzanne wakes опу alittle later than usual, and
her head feels fragmented, corrupted, unread-
able. But no headache. She wasn’t that drunk.

Negative evidence of Peter’s body indents
the pillow and the loose sheets beside her.
Shit. She’d sworn not to feel guilty but now
she’s envenomed with it. Yes, it was stupid to
feel guilty about cheating on your past, but
that happened to be all she had, and from
now on she knows that she will never be able
to correctly feel the dignified hurt that she’s
relied upon, the sore satisfaction that she is
lonely because she has no choice.

Peter’s room is neat like her own, with a
taupe carpet still bearing vacuum tracks and
a miniature Zen garden on an oak desk. She
gets up to kill, if necessary, for water. Lap-
ping out of her hand from the bathroom fau-
cet, she hears her phone buzz in her purse, so
she returns to the bedroom and saves it.

“What’s this about Tim?”

Richard’s voice is a familiar depth of

FICTION

monotone—drunk—and it arouses the famil-
iar response—contempt. In pale yellow cot-
ton panties and a camisole, Suzanne wants to
cover herself before speaking. Richard asks
again, “Tim.”

“It wasn't anything serious. I made a mis-
take. I’m sorry for bothering you.”

“Put him on.”

“He’s not here.”

“Whuhthfuck. Where’s he?”

The alcohol makes him sound pitifully red-
neck. She hears his misspellings. She never
believed nor wanted to believe that he wasn’t
as intelligent as she was, but that accent has
always sprung her prejudices. Or maybe not
always, but between that and the drinking.

“Tim’s at home,” Suzanne says. “I thought
he had a fever but he didn’t.”

“He’s at home? Where are you at seven in
the morning?”

Suzanne cups her forehead. “Work.”

“Okay, what the hell is this?”

“Richard, I just wanted to talk.”

“About what?”

“Just talk,” Suzanne says. “It’s, you know,
for one moment I felt a little strange and I

made a mistake, and I'm sorry. I didn’t mean
to annoy you.”

“You tell me my kid’s in trouble and he’s not?
Yeah, I’d call that a mistake all right. Real
piece of work. Calling me up to lie! I gotta——”

Suzanne pulls the phone away from her ear
and covers the receiver. His voice vibrates in
her palm. When it goes still, she moves the
phone back.

“T can’t do it,” she says, talking more qui-
etly than she needs to. “TV and internet, TV
and internet, all day. He never talks to me.
I don’t know what’s going on in his head. He
hates me. And I think—something’s wrong
with my brain.” Her lips warp to a shape of
wretchedness. Her troubles sound as thin as
the air she’s speaking them into.

Richard breathes on the other end. “Tim
can handle himself. I raised him that way. He
doesn’t need you. Leave the kid alone.”

“Okay,” says Suzanne. She is so grateful to
him for not delivering the easy insult.

Peter enters the room with an actual silver
tray bearing orange juice, toast and a French
omelet garnished with dill. His grin col-
lapses when he sees Suzanne on her phone.
He places the tray quietly on the end table and
sits on the opposite side of the bed, recom-
posing the flatware on the tray with effortful
indifference.

"Listen, I've got to go. Sorry to call you at
home,” says Suzanne, in official tones.

“Wait,” says Richard, “how is Tim? How is
he really?”

“Yep, touch base later. Good-bye,” says
Suzanne, hangingup, and says to Peter, with-
outthinking, “Sorry, that was my boss.”

Peter regards her with amazement but says
nothing. Her clothes are horrifyingly folded for
her in neat squares on the desk chair, and she
takes them, dresses in the bathroom and leaves
her boss alone with his sexual breakfast.
Evening. The phone rings again, and Rich-
ard, warmed up with anger, makes for the
nowhere location of the phone, when his
back trumps him with its final trick—he
goes down on the carpet, one arm back to
grab the handle of the invisible switchblade
in his lumbar and the other forward to break
his fall. He curses when the voice mail plays.
“You've reached Richard and Timothy Dyers
and Suzanne Ueda, the Dyerses. Please leave
a message. Okay, so now what do 1——” beep.
Exactly, Richard thinks, wincing and going
prone. What do І beep.

The machine records a phone hanging up.

The pain is coming out of him in sweat, and
the air is double warm because he's left the
stove on in the kitchen. The water has boiled
down. He will not try to turn it off. He would
rather think about who's to blame. The way
things turned out, people disappearing in
every way possible. He’d been a good man and
agood father: that only sounded like the first
line of a eulogy. Try to see. Go back to when

FICTION

girl, I promise that. Chinese, Japanese, Mar-
tian, whatever you want. What I'm saying,
though, is if our very first child is going to
be under my own personal supervision most
of the day, let's do it right. Can a guy like me
raise alady—I don't know.”

“Richard.”

“ButIcan raise aboyuptoa man. I knowthat.”

“So men can only create in their own image?

ing the house in daylight now is like what-
ever made things easy that night is gone.

No answer at the door. What the fuckity
fuck? He crosses the lawn and looks into the
living room window at nobody. She's the kind
who'd get mad at him if he texted her with
something serious, so he'll leave a note. He
takes out a pen and paper from his book bag.
What's even to say? I love you? How was your

SHE TAKES HER GLOTHES, DRESSES IN
THE BATHROOM AND LEAVES HER BOSS
ALONE WITH HIS SEXUAL BREAKFAST.

things tilted from fine to awful, the instant
where people liked him to when they didn't.
These things start before they get started. He
tries, and what comes to mind is Suzanne’s
raise, the one they bought the house on. Last
step before a family. The hitch was that she
couldn’t afford to stop working, so no preg-
nancy and no maternity leave.

Soithappened:

In the agency office, searching through the
binder with the worn laminated pages on her
lap, was where Suzanne came across the girl
with wet dark eyes, an open-mouthed smile, a
nose that Suzanne thought might grow to re-
semble her own. Malaysian. “That’s her,” she
had said, circlingher finger overthe photograph
but not touching it. “Richard, look at her.”

Richard, standing behind Suzanne and
peering over her shoulder, sucked in his bot-
tom lip and nodded. “Can't argue she ain't
pretty. Can't argue that.”

“Let's ask about her.”

“No reason to rush. Let's work everything out
before we get in anybody’s face. Talk it out first.”

“Talk about what? Richard, I mean, she’s
beautiful.”

"I'm just saying is all. If it's someone who's
going to be at home every day with the child,
likely as not it’s going to be me, right?”

“we'll both be caring for her. Whoever's
working.”

“But in terms of actual hours spent. Ain’t
that the truth? What I’m saying is I’m just
not sure a guy like me’s really fit to raise a
baby girl. Don’t get me wrong now, girls are
sunshine. One day we can have ourselves a

Whereas a woman—whereas women, for thou-
sands, for millennia, raising male babies——”

Richard grasped Suzanne’s shoulder.
“Level with me here and let’s not get politi-
cal. It's got nothing to do with I'm a man and
you're a woman. I'm saying we make choices
that will work best for this baby. You see how I
geton with Matty's boys? I'm Captain Amer-
icato them."

Suzanne turned in her seat. “Of course
they're going to be attached to you, obviously,
you’re their only——"

“Don’t bring that up now. All I'm saying is
thatto me, boys are second nature. Would you
want me raising a girl, tripping over my own
feet, if I already said I'm not sure I can?”

She looked at the picture of the dark-eyed
Jane, June, Juliette. *I don't know."

“we're taking our time here. Nothing's get-
ting rushed. No need to get attached to any-
thing. Spirit of compromise.”

He picked up the boy binder. He looked at
Suzanne, who was looking away from him,
and he leaned forward and kissed her shoul-
der and up the back of her neck where the soft
hairs were.

After a whole nother night of not sleeping but
just looking at his eyelids, Tim sees that Mom
must have left for work early, leaving him to
bike his own ass to school. He's changed his
mind: He feels bad for her and she's a cunt.
At school Cristina is missing at pre-calc then
lunch. So he ditches and pedals five miles
across town and he’s wearing all of his sweat
by the time he gets to Cristina’s. He leans his
bike against the iron mailbox out front. See-

sex examination? Who even writes notes?
Maybe it’d help if she knew he loved her, but
you come off like you’re lying if you say it like
that, so he’s got to prove it to her. He writes: I
was here to see you haha call me—tim.

One story up, on a ledge outside her bed-
room window, there’s the planter of gerani-
ums she waters in the morning. She’d see the
note there. But there’s no tree or anything to
climb on. You can’t throw a sheet of paper up
that high. If he crumples it into a ball, she
might think it’s garbage. Next to the drive-
way there’s a little flagstone path held to-
gether with crumbling mortar, and he gets
down and pulls out a loose shard. Fasten-
ing the paper to the flat rock with a butterfly
clip from his book bag, Tim stands close so
he doesn’t hit the window, and makes a layup.
The rock taps down on the shingles, rolls and
skips off the slant, and he has to bomb out of
the way as it comes back down and shatters.
Needs more arm. The next shot doinks short
into the gutter, so he writes another note. 7
came to see you please call me was your ex-
amination okay? I love you—tim. He clips it
to another rock and throws it up again and it
goes, not as loud as he’d expect, through the
fucking window. And it’s not like he even de-
cided to do this, you know, consciously, but
he takes another rock and pitches it through
the living room picture window and another
through the sunroom window. Sprints for
his bike. Coins and gum shake loose from his
bag, and he takes off before it hits him just
outside of town that he could have folded the
note into a triangle and flicked it up if he
wasn’t born and raised an idiot. a

PLAYMATE

PHOTOGRAPHY BY HENRIK PURIENNE

“T like to think my sunny disposition is the first thing people notice about me,” says Miss
October Allie Silva, “but it's probably in the running for second. The first, of course,
is my hair—it’s its own entity.” The genetics responsible for those curly locks come from
Allie's Norwegian and African American heritage, which has become the subject of a few too
What are you?’ is the question I'm asked most often. I'll act

e €

many awkward icebreakers.
confused, as if I'm being asked if I'm an alien. I like to respond, ‘I’m a human. What about
you?” I prefer “What's your ethnicity?’ " To that, Allie will speak proudly about growing up in
a mixed-race household in bucolic Connecticut with parents who revered education and en-
couraged her to finish college before pursuing modeling. ^I had a balanced upbringing with
parents who have a love and respect for each other that many people never find. I'm incredi-
bly fortunate to witness such love, and it's a perfect example of how absurd hatred and racism
are, especially in these crazy and heartbreaking times,” she says. “I believe good is out there.”

x
>

а as» ta

ALLIE SILVA

AGE: 27 BIRTHPLACE: Willimantic, Connecticut GURRENT CITY: Los Angeles, California

TRAVELOGUES

To succeed in modeling, you have
to be smart and independent. At
the drop of a hat you can be sent
to a new city with a public transit
system or an airport that's totally
unfamiliar to you. You have to be
able to take care of yourself and
navigate foreign places. I’ve been
to some of the most beautiful
and romantic locations but had to
explore—and hang out in gorgeous
hotel rooms—all by myself.

FAMILY TIES

Despite what my Instagram may
look like, I'm actually a quiet and
somewhat introverted person.
| enjoy visiting my family in Con-
necticut and going to the gro-
cery store with my mom. ١ like

watching SportsCenter with my
dad, making pancakes with my
nephew and fishing in the woods
with my two older brothers. With
my #GrandmaLife, maybe it’s bet-
ter that my social media accounts
are a little misleading!

MY POP CULTURE OBSESSIONS

Prince Eric from The Little Mer-
maid was my first “celebrity”
crush. | can’t stop singing Justin’s
Bieber's "Love Yourself"—"My

mama don't
everyone." (
the song) I
life. Those
think aboutt

ike you, and she likes
Come on, you know
think Harry Potter is
ooks altered how |
he world, and you can

usually catc

me at home on Fri-

day nights watching the movies for
the thousandth time. And if | could

ЇЗ 6۵۱

W @ElusiveAllieKAT

meet anyone who has ever lived,
I would choose Marilyn Monroe.
She's the original icon of glamour
and the one who started it all.

SPECIAL TALENTS

| have double-jointed elbows and
thumbs—but | don’t think those
qualify as a talent, unless you
want to see how fast | can haila
car while hitchhiking.

SELF-IMPROVEMENTS

In terms of personal goals for the
rest of the year, I'd like to go out
of my way a bit more to help peo-
ple, especially the downtrodden.
Also, | need to work on having
more patience. Speaking of, are
we done with this Data Sheet?

ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہم ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے al A‏
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے A‏ ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے M CO‏ ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے =
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے
u‏ ات شا um л um‏ ا ھی um‏ ی Lam‏ اث کت CAR‏ بی سیا سیا اس UB UB A‏ سا سا TUUM‏
سس ہے ےت سس سے ہہ مات سس ہے کہ ہے کہ ہے QQ‏
EBE C LBN UE E BE‏ ھت جس A‏ اس جو تھسا میں مب سز اس سا a‏ ہے S‏
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے سم 555
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے р]‏
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ساس nn‏
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے کی ہے ہے ہے
сеен icm‏
oO 5222822255225‏
Sr‏ ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے Homme‏
soagn 25555‏ 00 == ہے ہے
88882 ود ہت ہے ہے ہے 2799 "iro orn‏ =
il‏ بح بے بے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے بے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے SEES‏ ہے ہے جج ےہ تح دن ہے ہہت
с теч pa um.‏ جا ھا ھا ھا ھا ھا ۓ EE E rec‏
ااا اع جج ا ہس um m UR um‏ اس еә en T icum‏
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے O‏ ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے کے
5 ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے رت ہے نے بے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے م
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہم ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے
ہے ہے نے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے وق ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے
ہے ہے ہے نے O A‏ مسر اسر اس لے ہے سے m‏ ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے OD‏ ہے ہے ہے —— کے ہے ہے س سے ہے ہے سے سے سے سے سے سے سے سے سے TM‏
сасна S‏ یا جیا A‏ سب جا UD Us‏ مر стола‏ الک ایا ann‏ سأ جو ھی ہےہے ہے =ч‏ ا اسم سم سم اسم م م اسم م اسم م م لم سم اسم لم سم م
تے کے مس وس HHH O HHHH HHHH Hmm‏ ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے کی HHH‏ بم nR NI‏ یر مر م م مسر A‏ مسر مسر مسر مسر مسر پم یسر پم ہس سم
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے au [> Du‏ ہے ہے (omkom kan kan kaa ankan kana kan kaa kann kan aa kaaa Kana kama kaa kan om‏
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے پر ہیا ا می مسا جس ہے ہے ہے СО‏ ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہم
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے 2288 ہے ہے ہے ہے ہم ہے ہے ہے O‏ ہے ری ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے m‏ ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے Ori‏ ہے D‏ ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے م
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے A COO rr‏ ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے سی ہد سی یم ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہر ہے ہے ہے O‏ ہم ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہی بب OOO mimi‏ وہ
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے С‏ ہے ہم SSS чч‏ ہے ہے а‏ اسم اسم اسم اسم [emma‏
O‏ ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ری ہے ہے mim Or‏ 2 ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے
سم SITIOS‏ 2 ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہہ [cacas‏
دی یی یی و ے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے rrr‏ ہے = ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے اسم اسم اسم اسم اسم اسم اسم اسم اسم ہے ہس ہے ہس ہس [un QD Ten Ten Tun GO‏
سس کی O‏ ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے Orr‏ رم riri‏ ےہ ,یوین ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے اسم اسم اسم اسم Ls‏ اسم اسم اسم OD OD OOOO sos‏
OO mm‏ ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے el ri‏ ہے ہے ہم ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے Dee‏ ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہہ im a e‏ سم OD QD‏ یی OD OD‏ يپ
ہے A ll‏ ہس ہس ہس کی ہسے سے سے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہےے ہس ہے O‏ ہے ہے کی ہے ہے ہے یی ہے un‏ اسم سم ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے سے ہسے e‏ ہے ہے سے ہے ہپس ہے اسم اسم سم Den Ten Ten Ten Tun QD‏
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ری ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے Ln‏ ہے ہے ری بے بسن کی ہسے ہے С Lam‏ ہے ہے ہے ہے ttt‏ ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے lem e m‏ سم سم Go GO Ai r r‏ ہے دی یپ نا
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے سے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے 0 ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے کے ہے سے ہے ہے ہے گ ہے ہے ہے ہس یسر un‏ ہسے n‏ ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے کی ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے اسم اسم اسم اسم mim‏ اسم سم QO GO e‏ جج جج
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے گی ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے A‏ ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے نے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے گی ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے O‏ ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے 59 ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے کے کے کی ٗی کون
ہے ہے ہے سے ہے ہے سے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ED‏ ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے اسم os‏ بب ہس Go‏ رہ و کیہ
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے کی ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ن ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے e‏ نے نس e‏ مسر مسر زسم نے سے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے سم
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے O‏ ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے کی ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے سم کے A e‏ یسر س )سر )سر )سر )سم سر )سم р AA‏ ہے ہے ہے ہس دی 05 ہی GO GO‏ کا
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے کی ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہآ ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے Los md‏ ہے ہک DO‏
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے CO‏ ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے نے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے O mm‏ ہے جک وہ ہا
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے گی ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہپ Las Las Uas Uas e os Las Las md e e‏ یی ںی یوین
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے کے ہے ہے a‏ رق ہسے ہسے ہسے ہسے ہے ہے ہس ہے ہس OD OD OD OD OD QD rr aaa‏
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے چ ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے a‏ یبس یہی Da‏ اسم Du‏ ہی کی وی [ej‏
== ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے CO D‏ دی ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہس ہے ہے ہے ہے a‏ اسم ہس ہم یی دی ی یو
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے لے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے COO rr A A AO‏ ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے سے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے MÀ‏ ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے A‏ ہے ہے ہے سم Or Ori‏ ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے OOO‏ ہی [ee‏
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہم ہے ہے نے یی ہے ری ہے ہے ہے سے سے ہے ہے ہے ہے سے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے م
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے O) O‏ ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہس ہے ہے ہے a‏ ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہم
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے m‏ نے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے یق ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ےی ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے OD‏ ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ری ہے ہے ہے AA‏ ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے نے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے کی ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے
سے مر م A‏ مسر لسم لسم لسم A‏ م م سم A‏ م III‏ نس ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے سم م اس سے ہس سے سے سے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے سم سم
ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے HOO e‏ ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے

ہکم

rO‏ ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے سے = = ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہہس O ml‏ ہن ہے
ن‌ہے ہے

Tt ہے ہے ہم‎ O ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے سن ہے ہے بسن‎ um um um um m um um um m m m m m e O) 3
“ч

"oO e
ہے ہے‎ і
: Sa جح تح دح ےہ ہہت‎ Lm m m سم‎
um. بے سے کے ہے‎ kt aaa a a نے بے ہے ہے ہے _ ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے ہے‎
aaa aaa a o m a m m m زسم‎ o um m m m m m um r

000000011

Technology will destroy democracy unless

THIS MAN STOPS IT

Alex Halderman has hacked electronic voting machines, circumvented government censorship software
and dismantled a $100 million NSA surveillance program. Thank God he's one of the good guys

“Let's take a survey around the room,” says
Jacob Appelbaum, a notorious hacktivist the
National Security Agencyis definitely monitor-
ing, as we sit on the floor beneath a low-slung
canopy illuminated by red strobe lighting.
“Charles over here wrote basically every sin-
gle base station for free cell-phone software in
existence. Dorian is, well, just look at the mus-
tache.” It's a handlebar waxed at its ends into
antennae. “That thing is a story in itself. He
does a whole bunch of cryptic stuff in France.
I just don’t even know what to say about him. I
don’t want to get him in trouble." He and Dorian
both cackle. Appelbaum continues. “This guy
works for Laura Poitras on leak-
ing the Snowden documents.
Her? She’s akickboxer, and she
can murder you. Write a nice article. She’s ac-
tually one of the world’s leading lawyers on dig-
ital privacy. Nadia over there is one of the most
badass cryptographers ever. Everybody around
the table might look counterculture, but they’re
amazing people in their field in every way.

“And then,” he says, finishing the next
thought with a wordless, bemused nod toward
Alex Halderman. At two A.M. in Hamburg, on
the last night of one of the world’s biggest hacker
conventions, when everyone else is doing shots
of fancy European spirits, Halderman is sip-
ping tea and sitting cross-legged but ramrod
straight in khakis and an immaculately pressed
navy button-down. “And then there’s Alex. He
loves oxford shirts. That’s his only sin.”

That probably depends on whom you ask. A
couple of days earlier, Halderman and com-
puter scientist Nadia Heninger stood on a
stage before more than a thousand of Edward
Snowden, Julian Assange and Chelsea Man-
ning’s most ardent admirers at the Chaos Com-

sy STEVE FRIESS

iLLUsTRATION BY KAI & SUNNY

puter Club’s 32nd gathering to explain precisely
how to defeat hacking capabilities that cost the
NSA more than $100 million to develop. It is a
groundbreaking lecture, occasionally as stulti-
fyingly technical as you'd expect from computer
scientists like Halderman, of the University
of Michigan, and Heninger, of the University
of Pennsylvania. But after a long discussion
of algorithms and core years and safe prime
numbers and something known as the Diffie-
Hellman key exchange, Halderman sums up
the method of stumping the NSA: “It’s not ex-
actly free, but it’s inexpensive. It costs a little
money, but at least a large government adver-
sary has to spend a lot of time
targeting you individually—at
least a year, perhaps—and they
can't just have your stuff for free.”

This, you might expect, makes Halderman
largely unpopular within said “large govern-
ment adversary.” And indeed, the NSA, were
it willing to talk about him, which it is not, is
unlikely to be enamored of Halderman and his
mission to render useless the most costly and
sophisticated spying technology ever deployed
by the United States or any other snooper with
abudget for nine-figure toys. That sortofthing
is why Appelbaum, a California native who
lives in self-imposed exile in the Netherlands,
calls Halderman “one of the top computer se-
curity researchers in the world” and his work
“super fuckingimportant and really good.” (In
May, Appelbaum resigned from the Tor Proj-
ect amid accusations of sexual misconduct
against several women at or associated with
the digital-security organization. He denies
the allegations.)

But Halderman is notjustahero inthis world
of cyberanarchists and online paranoiacs. His

expertise transcends partisanship. Approxi-
mately three weeks afterthe Hamburg conven-
tion, Halderman is running an all-day meeting
in his Ann Arbor conference room with key fig-
ures from academia, Silicon Valley and the U.S.
State Department. Their mission is to decide
how to use a $2 million grant—from the same
“large government adversary” whose fanciest
espionage toys he has just disemboweled—to de-
velop adevice that by the end of the decade could
end the ability of foreign governments, includ-
ing China, to block its citizens from any part
of the internet. The contraption, nicknamed
TapDance and capable of what is referred to as
“decoy routing,” is “the most promising of all
the anti-censorship programs going on,” says
Steve Schultze, a program officer working on
the State Department’s mission to spread in-
ternet freedom. “It’s the best thing we have.”

Halderman, for his part, doesn’t see why
being a valued member of such discordant
groups is surprising. He glides comfortably
and almost annoyingly cheerfully between
worlds, choosing to see the best intentions of
everyone—even the NSA—in a culture other-
wise marked by suspicion and distrust. “The
world is a dangerous place, and there are people
who really do want to do us harm if they have
the opportunity,” Halderman tells me, recit-
ing a message his late grandfather, a CIA spy,
used to tell him in defense of invasive actions
by the U.S. government that the likes of Appel-
baum and Snowden find irredeemable. “While
Ithink that perspective is true, I think it’s also
true that the world is one in which living and
making policy in perpetual fear of such poten-
tial harm also puts us all at risk. My goal is to
use technology to make the world safer, more
secure and more free.”

101

It is, to him, as simple as that, but that clar-
ity of purpose and good-natured earnestness
areas rare as the frighteningly huge record of
technological achievement Halderman, at 35,
has already assembled. If all he ever did was
figure out how to defeat NSA cyber-espionage
and build a device to allowthe most oppressed
people on the planet to have open access to the
internet, that might itself be a career. Yet Hal-
derman's output from his perch as a tenured
professor includes findings that have stopped
governments around the world from using
voting machines that can easily be gamed,
alerting Homeland Security that full-body
scanners in common use at airports can be ef-
fortlessly duped, developing a now widely used
method of querying every IP address in the
world in minutes, stopping major media com-
panies from installing illicit software on home
computers, and persuading China to abandon
its efforts to require that all com-
puter users load a piece of surveil-
lance software by demonstrating
how vulnerable that made every PC
inthe country to hack attack.

"It's an extraordinary level of pro-
ductivity for an academic in any
field, which is not to say there aren't
some other brilliant, prolific, top-
ically varied computer scientists
out there," says David Robinson, a
dorm neighbor of Halderman's at
Princeton and now co-principal of
a Washington, D.C.-based tech con-
sultancy that advises a range of pol-
icy makers, including ones in the
Obama administration. “This isn't
normal. Butthen again, he's a major
computer science talent who plays
really well with others, and that isn't
normal either.”

It helps that Halderman is a peculiarly ele-
gant man. Thisthought had occurred to me be-
fore, particularly in Hamburg when he tied his
shoes from a standing position without bend-
ing his knees. (Try it; it's not easy.) It seems as
effortless as his perfectly kept nails, the per-
petual absence of even a hint of facial hair, his
thin, Plastic Man-esque limbs with which he
wraps himself in tight knots as though unable
to control his balletic bearing, the simple wire-
frame glasses, the puffy dishwater hair, the
button-down shirts and khakis always impos-
sibly wrinkle-free even after hours of sittingon
grimy floors in hacker-counterculture dens.

WhenIaskHalderman about his very proper
appearance and demeanor, he says, “Well, I'm a
professor. I think I ought to play the part." Ex-
cept plenty of other professors from impres-

sive universities are in Hamburg this week,
and they're wearing geek-chic political T-shirts
that show off their tattoos as they brag about
their place on the no-fly list and how assidu-
ously the NSA tracks their text messages. That
Halderman believes he owes it to the world to
look and act like the thing he actually is and
loves being strikes me as brave and confident.
And the fact that all these self-described ruf-
fians love and admire him as he is lends them
some credibility too.

After analyzing his unusual physical traits
and social status, I realize that Halderman is
the embodiment of his vision for technology
and the solutions he seeks: simple, respect-
ful, friendly, kind, clean, orderly, uncluttered,
helpful, honest.

Early one steamy predawn morning in August
2010 in Hyderabad, India, a heavyset, ruddy-

IN LESS THAN 48

HOURS, HALDER-

MAN AND A TEAM
OF GRAD STUDENTS

WERE ABLE TO
ALTER VOTES.

NOBODY DETECTED

THE ATTACKS.

faced security researcher named Hari Prasad
was roused from his bed by a team of police of-
ficers, shoved into acar in front of his children
and driven 14 hours to Mumbai. For the next
week, Prasad was held without bail while refus-
ingtorevealjust how he had obtained one ofthe
country's electronic voting machines. He was
allowed to use his cell phone during the cross-
country ride—he theorizes the government
hoped he would call his sources—which is how
he spoke to Halderman. “Alex,” Prasad told the
professor, who recorded the call and posted
parts of it on YouTube, “I have been arrested.”
A few months earlier, Halderman, Prasad
and the Dutch hacktivist Rop Gonggrijp had
used the electronic voting machine, or EVM,
to show the world how easy it would be to steal
an election by manipulating devices that In-
dian authorities had proclaimed variously as

»&«

“perfect,” “fully secure," “tamperproof” and
“infallible.” The EVMs had become a sym-
bol of pride and modernity in the subconti-
nent; local headlines in 2009 trumpeted the
fact that then U.S. Secretary of State Hillary
Clinton told a Filipino media outlet how “im-
pressed” she was by what India was doing. Yet
the Election Commission reportedly refused to
release footage of ataped EVM security inspec-
tion that Prasad had conducted in September
2009. Instead, an inside source gave an EVM to
Prasad just in time for Halderman and Gong-
grijps visit to Hyderabad in February 2010,
and by that April they had posted a six-minute
YouTube video demonstrating how vote totals
could be changed using Bluetooth, a custom-
made machine attachment dubbed Clippy and
a phone app mockingly called Fraudster.

Prasad’s detainment became acause celebre
in the Indian media thanks largely to Halder-
man’s hasty posting of both the news
and audio clips of his conversations
with Prasad on Freedom to Tinker,
the blog he co-founded with his men-
tor, Princeton professor Ed Felten.
“It was a moment when I just knew
immediately it was going to be up to
me todo something,” Halderman re-
calls. “Iwas sure if people knew what
was going on, if we had transparency
as to what police were doing, what-
ever political machinery was mak-
ing trouble for him was doing, that
was the best hope to get him out of
this terrible predicament.”

He was right. Prasad’s arrest drew
more attention to the machines’
flaws than the publication of the
research did—and turned public
opinion by portraying Indian elec-
tions officials as suspiciously heavy-handed
against, of all people, scientists. The judge who
granted Prasad’s eventual bail wrote that “if
the machine was possessed by the accused for
demonstrating only that it could be tampered
with, then the accused committed no offense.
On the contrary, he has done a great service to
the democracy.”

Several months later, when Halderman and
Gonggrijp returned to India to appear at an
election-technology symposium, they were de-
tained at the Delhi airport. Their passports
sparked an angry, red-lettered warning: “Deny
entry to India and notify originator.” This
time, it was Prasad at the receiving end of the
SOS call, but he now had contacts in the gov-
ernment who could help. He told Halderman to
do everything he could to delay being put back
on the plane.

102

Left: Alex Halderman (third from left) and a team of University of Michigan grad students who research algorithms in encrypted communication. Right: As a grad student at Princeton
in 2006, Halderman worked with professor Edward Felten (left) and fellow student Ariel Feldman (right) to expose the security flaws of a Diebold electronic voting machine.

By dawn, Halderman was cleared to enter,
but the Indian episodes shook, exhilarated
and shaped him. The notion that a democratic
government would persecute researchers for
pointing out something so threatening to the
basic premise of society was infuriating—and
showed just how dangerous and important his
work could be. “I was always confident before
that as long as we were correct about the tech-
nical matters, we would ultimately be success-
fulin producing positive change,” he says. “But
thisinterplay of politics and research results in
technology was a much more complicated game
than either the technology or the politics alone.
The stakes just kept getting higher and higher
as we went along.”

That is how I first became aware of Halder-
man: After Superstorm Sandy demolished
the Eastern seaboard a few days before the
2012 general election, the state of New Jersey
made the unprecedented decision to allow dis-
placed residents to vote via e-mail. As a senior
writer at Politico covering technology and pol-
itics, I thought this was batshit crazy. I'm no
coder or hacker, and I even occasionally use
an AOL address, but this idea seemed fraught
with potential mischief. I expected the tech-
nology community to calm me down, to tell
me it could work. Instead, the same whizzes
who boasted that technology could accom-
plish anything were screaming to any journal-
ist who would listen—and there were precious

few that week—that not only was e-mail voting
aterrible idea, but internet voting would prob-
ably never be possible. (It’s not clear whether
the New Jersey election results were counted
properly. Some local races that turned ona few
votes could have been swayed, but no losers
filed complaints or lawsuits. Unsurprisingly,
Governor Chris Christie’s administration in-
sists it was a good solution.)

The leader of this alarmist contingent was
Halderman. I presented him with the stan-
dard line I’d been hearing: If we can bank on-
line, isn’t it inevitable that one day we'll be able
to vote that way too? “No, I don’t think it’s in-
evitable,” he replied. “I think we’re having an
evolving conversation about that. On the one
hand, people look at the progress of technology
and see this as something that makes sense. It
would be great to have. But on the other hand,
we look at how close margins of elections are;
we hear every week in the paper about some
new cyberattack. I think there are counter-
vailing forces. Whether security progresses
in a way that makes online voting safe and pri-
vate as well as convenient for people is an open
question. What I think is inevitable is, if we do
online voting on a large scale with the kind of
technology we have today, there will be an at-
tack that will disrupt a large-scale election.
That might be inevitable.”

Halderman got his first taste of the
election-technology stakes domestically. As a

graduate student at Princeton under Felten—
who is now the White House deputy chief tech-
nology officer—Halderman began to focus on
whether the most widely used electronic voting
machines in America were vulnerable. After
Florida’s 2000 election debacle showed that
the nation’s leadership could hang by tiny bits
of paper known as chads, Congress approved
more than $3 billion in assistance to help states
modernize elections and voting practices. The
result was the purchase of thousands of ma-
chines, most notably from a company called
Diebold, that were deployed with no rigorous
external security checks. Felten’s team was
eager to examine an actual machine, and one
day in 2006 an insider offered to get them one.

Halderman, then 25, was sent to pick up
the contraband device, and in an alley behind
a New York City hotel, a man in a trench coat
slipped it to him. Halderman, Felten and an-
other graduate student then spent weeks—in
a room not on the blueprints of the building
in which it was housed—attempting several
hacks. In September 2006, the team posted a
YouTube video that showed how the machines
could be hijacked. “We will now show how
to steal votes in a simulated election,” Hal-
derman narrates evenly before unspooling a
mock election in which Benedict Arnold beats
George Washington for the presidency despite
the voters’ clear choice of the American Cin-
cinnatus. Further demonstrating how akin to

103

ordinary personal computers voting machines
were, Halderman and a grad student later re-
purposed one made by a different company as
a Pac-Man device. It is still available for play in
the lobby of Felten’s Princeton building.

Diebold blasted the 2006 study and insisted
the Princeton trio had used technology that
had since been upgraded. Yet by the following
summer, after an intensive security review,
California decertified its Diebold machines.
As the then secretary of state explained, they
were “too flawed to be widely used.”

The apotheosis of the Halderman approach
came in the fall of 2010 when Washington, D.C.
was preparing to deploy the nation’s first inter-
net voting system for municipal primaries. The
city invited the public to try out the system іп а
mock election, which Halderman saw as “a fan-
tastic opportunity to test out attacks in a live
system but not an actual election.” In less than
48 hours, he and a team of his Uni-
versity of Michigan grad students
were able to alter votes. Nobody in
the city government detected the at-
tacks until trial voters complained
about the weird music playing on
the THANK YOU FOR VOTING page.
The students had set the system to
play the Michigan fight song.

D.C. officials promptly canceled
the online system and never re-
turned toit, but Halderman's office
at UM has one delicious memento of
that endeavor. In addition to infil-
trating the voting system, his team
was also able to hack into the secu-
rity cameras observing the serv-
ers. Taped to one of Halderman's
bookcases is a screen shot showing
a D.C. election worker, unaware he
is being observed, picking his nose.
Alex Halderman could easily have been a child
prodigy, and the fact that he wasn't may ex-
plain something important about his peri-
patetic interests. Like many geniuses, he
was taking apart and reassembling house-
hold electronics—the toaster, the VCR, the
computer—at a young age and showed an in-
stinctive fascination with and aptitude for de-
vices. His father, a corporate lawyer, and his
mother, a housewife and avid birder, indulged
these efforts at their home in bucolic Bucks
County, Pennsylvania but never pushed him to
move faster through school or to abbreviate his
childhood as many parents of gifted kids do.
Instead, theytook Halderman and his younger
sister, now a mixed-media artist, for hikes on
a 50-acre expanse of meadow, streams and

woods or on frequent excursions to New York,
about 80 miles away, to see opera.

Halderman emerged from his childhood
with a broad range of interests not often seen
in technologists. He regularly opens speaking
engagements by showing portraits painted
by his great-grandfather Maksimilijan “Maxo”
Vanka, a prominent Croatian-born artist. Hal-
derman never met Vanka, whose oblong face
and slender, aquiline nose can be seen in his
own features, but Halderman traces his phi-
losophy to Vanka's efforts to fight fascism,
war and inequality through his work. “The one
thing my great-grandfather was said to say all
the time was to look, to look at the world, to look
at what you see and think about it, and that's
what I try to do as well,” Halderman says. “This
is atthe core of computer security.”

Halderman's greatest influence was Felten,
whose own varied interests showed Halder-

“IT’S NOT ONLY

THAT DEMOCRACY
GAN BE CIRCUM-
VENTED BUT THAT
TECHNOLOGY, THE
THING HE LOVES,
COULD TURN OUT
TO BE THE AGENT." des

man and his classmates how broad their sci-
entific inquiry could be. (Felten did not reply
to several requests for an interview and told
Halderman he wasn't comfortable talking to
the press given his role at the White House.)
It wasn't long after Halderman began under
Felten's aegis that he started to make trouble.
In his first semester as a grad student, Halder-
man figured out how the latest coding on Sony
BMG’s music CDs worked to prevent piracy, the
first of his many moments of inspiration and
massive publicity. In a paper he and Felten later
published, Halderman explains that the discs,
withoutthe user's permission, implanted a pro-
gram that blocked the CD drive from commu-
nicating with the CD-burning software. This
could be defeated by disabling Windows' auto-
run feature, and the easiest way to do that was
tohold down the shift key while loading the CD.

The result was heady stuff—the music in-
dustry felt betrayed by the security company,
whose slogan, "light years beyond encryp-
tion," was instantly comical. Halderman and
Felten were threatened with lawsuits, and the
internet lit up with mockery that the music
business had an antipiracy system so easy
to defeat. After witnessing how his research
generated tangible results in the real world,
Halderman's interests moved toward other
questions he believed had human impact. The
topics he chose are, he says, "the part of com-
puter science that most bridges from technol-
ogy to people. It's all about the actions, the
capabilities, the motivations, the intentions
of people, whether it's the users or the people
who build systems. It's mediated by technol-
ogy, but it's really more about the human be-
ings who experience that technology."

David Robinson, who witnessed Halderman's
coming-of-age as a technologist, sees
something more profound—a sense
thatitisthe duty of ethical computer
scientists to guard against technol-
ogy's darker potential. “The word
that is at the center of Alex's philos-
ophy is power and how it's shared,"
Robinson says. ^The idea of a voting
system that allows someone to steal
an election from the public—that's
a horrifying possibility. It's not
only that democracy can be circum-
vented but that technology, comput-
ers, thethings heloves and works on,
could turn outto be the agent for that
kind of disaster."

One day in 2011, Halderman stood

at the whiteboard in a UM lecture

hall, fielding questions from fresh-
man engineering students. Someone asked
about an approach to circumventing censor-
ship, and Halderman was in the process of ex-
plaining its flaws when an idea popped into
his head. The class, he says, didn't notice the
few seconds that he stopped and stared, but at
that moment the groundbreaking concept of
decoy routing—which the State Department's
Schultze says could be a "generational jump
forward" in efforts to defeat state-sponsored
censorship—coalesced in his brain.

It's still to some extent just a concept, but no
less than U.S. ambassador to the United Na-
tions Samantha Power believes it is so revolu-
tionary that she brought Halderman to New
York to describe it at the Internet Freedom
Technology Showcase held alongside the U.N.
General Assembly last September. Simply put,
Halderman'steam hopes to develop a small box

104

that would attach to the world’s most heavily
trafficked internet infrastructure, the back-
bone servers that virtually no web data can
avoid passing through. Computer users would
employ software able to detect when govern-
ments such as China attempt to block online
requests, and the software would reroute the
request through the decoy router so it would ap-
pear innocuous to government censors. To cir-
cumvent a decoy router, the censoring country
would have to basically shut down most, if not
all, of the internet—an untenable option that
would severely damage the country’s economy.

Although Halderman calls the instance of

clarity that led him to this notion a “eureka
moment,” it’s not quite as magical as it sounds.
“It’s not something that happens in isolation,”
he says. “But when it happens, when the pieces
snap together, it’s not a systematic deduction.
You set up for it and then—aha! When you're
working on hard problems, it’s not often that
you get beautiful solutions.”
Hours before Halderman and Heninger are
to give their address on the NSA in Hamburg,
I watch them prepare in the Airbnb they’ve
rented for the week. They've been not just long-
time colleagues but in an on-and-off relation-
ship for years, and her cryptography skills were
critical in answering one of the key questions
to emerge from the Snowden documents: How
had the NSA managed to break so much en-
cryption that the cryptography world had be-
lieved to be virtually unbreakable?

Other than the fact that they’re getting
ready for a lecture, they behave the way young
geeks in love do when they don’t see one an-
other often—stretched out side-by-side on a
couch with shoulders and legs touching, faces
glowing from their respective laptops, occa-
sionally draping an arm or a foot on the other
casually. She’s a small, dead-serious woman
with a crown of braids and an aversion to being
watched by a journalist, and we never speak оп
the record for an interview about Halderman.

She’s also abit more hardcore and less sunny
than Halderman, having been subpoenaed by
a Virginia grand jury in 2011 to testify about
thousands of diplomatic cables leaked by
Chelsea Manning. While both clearly believe
Snowden’s revelations about the U.S. govern-
ment’s capabilities and reach are critically
important and a net positive for the world,
Heninger has been far more outspoken—a fact
reflected ina particular debate they have while
prepping for their talk.

“We should emphasize that if the NSA can
do this stuff, other people probably can too,” he
mutters to her. “Not all of them are on our side."

A YouTube video posted in 2006 features Halderman and a team of researchers demonstrating how
an electronic voting machine could be hacked by having Benedict Arnold beat George Washington in
a mock election. A similar machine was later reprogrammed to play Pac-Man.

“We're currently in Germany,” she answers
tartly, “so it’s unclear if the NSA is on the side
of the people of Germany.”

“That’s right,” he says. “But there’s no reason
to rush to be overly judgmental.”

“From the perspective of the people here, the
NSA is an adversary,” she says.

This effort to remain even-keeled may be
Halderman’s defining trait, the superpower
that grants him access to so many diverse
worlds. He tries to be respectful of the NSA—
he has former students working there and has
invited agents to address his classes—but,
as Robinson says, “if you were able to inter-
view people in Fort Meade, when you men-
tion Alex’s name, this research is the primary
thing they’re going to be thinking about.
The evidence is pretty strong that they spent
many, many, many millions of dollars build-
ing equipment and potentially specialized
chips just to do this one thing that now, be-
cause Alex has pointed out this thing is possi-
ble, is just not going to work anymore, because
people are not going to use that cipher. That
will hurt at some level.”

Halderman is nonplussed. The NSA should
expect “natural opposition,” he says. “I would
hope from their point of view this is a loss but
not a threat. On the defensive side, that’s a
gain, because it’s not necessarily just the U.S.

intelligence agencies that can do this, and the
U.S. intelligence agencies aren't necessarily on
your side if you're, say, a European or any other
non-American; then it’s not your government.
In terms of the security of the internet and of
humanity, we’re talking about a gain. I think
it’s a tactical loss for the NSA, but it’s a long-
term gain for our security of the internet.”

Halderman’s reaction to another presenta-
tion in Hamburg, this time from his old friend
Rop Gonggrijp, is illustrative. One graphic
Gonggrijp displays indicates that in coming
years the world will devolve from one that em-
braces “liberty, democracy and civilization” to
one with none of those attributes. It’s a varia-
tion on a theme that not just Gonggrijp but
many others present in various forms over the
course of the week.

As Appelbaum and others listen, Halderman
offers his counterview: “I have some more in-
herent optimism. I just don’t get the sense that
society is about to fall. Society doesn’t fall, be-
cause people solve the big problems and be-
cause people learn what it takes to fix them.
So if the problem is surveillance, then, yeah,
you need technological changes as well as legal
and political changes to make sure that surveil-
lance does not devolve into an Orwellian dysto-
pia. But I don't have quite as pessimistic a sense
of the future of the world as these guys do.” Mi

105

"| love to wonder what makes people tick. Alongside my love of language, it's something that
fuels my excitement when reading and writing,” says Lily Bridger, who skyrocketed to world-
wide recognition last year after she was scouted on a London street for an international Adidas
campaign. Her recent travels pair well with her passion for literature, including Shakespeare's
Hamlet and John Fowles's The Magus, which, she says, “has encouraged me to investigate
early Greek philosophy and to consider some of the fundamental questions posed by thinkers.”

+
1

TRAVIS MILLARD

ARTIST IN RESIDENCE

CHLOÉ
KOVSKA

Гое had a crush on Chloe Kovska's work since I first spotted it on Instagram a few
years ago. That delightful riot of bubble butts, red devils and Playboy Rabbit Heads
nestled deep into my brain, where my inner child waits impatiently for me to go

senile. Kovska has the ability to reduce forms to the essential, paying tribute to the
American tattoo tradıtion and Golden Age comics and cartoons while adding her own
primal twist. It's as though Tex Avery, Sailor Jerry and Robert Crumb got together
and hosted an orgy at the Playboy Mansion. In her words, “I paint desires, urges,
dreams, inspirations and memories with lovers, dressed up in cartoons.” Y I learned
that Kovska grew up in Melbourne, Australia, where her father taught her to paint.
She has shown her artwork in Los Angeles, San Francisco and Miami, but she mostly
keeps to herself, preferring that the details of her life remain obscure. She likes to use
canvas or cardboard and acrylic paint, which dries more
quickly than oil and keeps colors bright—all the better to
bring her kinky, trippy pop-cartoon visions to life. YI con-
tacted her to get a piece to hang above my desk and an-
other to be tattooed on my arm. I have tried not to fall in
love with her, but it's hard: Aside from her gifts as an art-
ist, Kovska is as sweet and beautiful as you would imag-
ine. Ultimately, I prefer to sit in the audience, like Averys
Big Bad Wolf, my eyes bursting out of my head at Chloé

ИТУ O Kovska's pink panthers, gorgeous goddesses and red-hot
page: Playing Tongues. Acrylic and dd P
gesso on canvas, 16 x 20 inches, 2016. riding hoods.—Jean André

114

Opposite page: Playtime. Acrylic and gesso on canvas, 20 x 16 inches, 2016. Top left: As Quiet as a Mouse.... Acrylic on canvas, 18 x 14 inches, 2014. Top right: Sex Wolf. Acrylic on canvas,
20 x 16 inches, 2014. Bottom left: Pink Panther and Little Dot. Acrylic on canvas, 24 x 20 inches, 2014. Bottom right: Inspired Бу '76. Acrylic and gesso on canvas, 18 x 14 inches, 2016.

117

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electric train collection,
beginning with the “Santa
Peter” Steam Locomotive as
described in this announcement.

SEND NO MONEY NOW.

Certificate of Authenticity &
365-Day Money-Back Guarantee

www.bradfordexchange.com

a $100 value!

LIMITED-TIME OFFER—PLEASE RESPOND PROMPTLY

BRADFORD EXCHANGE 9345 Milwaukee Avenue
Niles, IL 60714-1393

HAWTHORNE VILLAGE DIVISION
Signature

Mrs. Mr. Ms.

Name (Please Print Clearly)

Address

City

State Zip
E-Mail

*Plus $9.99 shipping and service. All sales are subject to acceptance and product availability.
Please allow 4-6 weeks after initial payment for shipment.

Shipment One

Shipment Two

er:

A Фейн

Shipment Three

“Victory Shall Be Mine!” Tender

“Santa Peter” Steam Locomotive

with FREE 14-pc. Track Set, Power

“Freakin’ Christmas” Gondola

Pack 8: Speed Controller

As Peter Griffin would say, “That is freakin’ sweet!” And, of course, he’d be
referring to this real working electric train collection inspired by Family Guy”,
winner of 3 Primetime Emmy Awards and named the 9th Greatest Cartoon of All-
Time by TV Guide. This train is more fun than Happy Hour at the Drunken Clam
as all the slightly unhinged citizens of Quahog are here riding atop the festive
train cars and celebrating the holidays in their own hilarious way. You'll
enjoy the handcrafted, hand-painted sculptures of classic scenes from some of their
most memorable episodes like “A Very Special Family Guy Freakin’ Christmas”

S CUT ALONG DOTTED LINE

BRADFORD EXCHANGE NO POSTAGE

NECESSARY
IF MAILED
IN THE
UNITED STATES

7 OFFER!

BUSINESS REPLY MAIL

FIRST-CLASS MAIL PERMIT NO. 73554 CHICAGO IL
POSTAGE WILL BE PAID BY ADDRESSEE

THE BRADFORD EXCHANGE
9345 N MILWAUKEE AVE
NILES IL 60714-9891

where Lois has a bit of a mental breakdown, the *Blind Ambition" episode featuring
the epic battle between Peter and Ernie the Giant Chicken, and many more! Plus the
wonderfully detailed sculpted scenes are removable for display anywhere you want
to add some cutting-edge Family Guy hilarity! This is a must-have heirloom-quality
train runs on any HO-gauge track.

Begin your train collection with the illuminating *Santa Peter" Steam Locomotive.
It can be yours for three easy payments of $26.66*, the first billed before shipment.
Soon, you can look forward to adding coordinating train cars each billed separately
at the same attractive price and sent about every other month—some including
removable sculptures! Your Second Shipment will be the “Victory Shall Be Mine!”
Tender including the FREE 14-piece track set, power-pack and speed controller—a
$100 value! You may cancel at any time and your satisfaction is assured with our
best-in-the-business 365-day guarantee!

Internet demand has already exceeded expectations, so don’t miss out! Send
no money now. Just log on or mail the post paid Reservation Application today!

EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO RUN YOUR TRAIN!

Along with Shipment
Two you'll receive a FREE
14-piece track set, power-

pack and
speed controller—

a $100 value!

2
er

www.bradfordexchange.com

KISS DESTROYER N,
MASTERPIECE LAMP ۳ | Bm.
š ہے‎ the night —

Sa 4

E CFL bulb.

RESERVATION APPLICATION SEND NO MONEY NOW
9345 Milwaukee Avenue -
. 3 E ч ыл arm Niles, IL 60714-1393
Fully dimensional, hand-painted figures №7 BRADET a e NOUS

capture the rockin’ energy! YES. Please reserve the KISS Destroyer Masterpiece Lamp for me as
described in this announcement.
Limit: one per order. Please Respond Promptly

Drum-style shade is pierced with KISS Mrs. Mr. Ms.

Name (Please Print Clearly)

so the light shines through each letter!

Address

City
Easy ordering
www.bradfordexchange.com/destroyer

Email (optional)
01-23804-001-E30291

*Plus $24.99 shipping and service. Limited-edition presentation restricted to 295 casting days. Please allow
4-8 weeks after initial payment for shipment. Sales subject to product availability and order acceptance.

KISS RULES THE STAGE AND LIGHTS ^
UP THE NIGHT AGAIN!

Filled with songs that rocketed to the >
top of the charts, Destroyer was a

sonic steamroller that obliterated the

million mark in less than a year. Now,

on the 40th anniversary of the double
platinum's debut, you're invited to

recapture the magic of the monster LP

and triumphant victory tour with the

KISS Destroyer Masterpiece Lamp.

A 1% foot tall statement piece available
only from The Bradford Exchange, the
originally designed and fully functional
KISS Destroyer Masterpiece Lamp
boasts a sculptural base that captures
the boys in all their tour glory. Topping
the concert scaffolding post is a jet
black, drum-style shade lined in silver
and pierced to magnificent effect with
the only letters that matter: KISS.
Strong demand is expected for this Bradford
Exchange exclusive limited edition. Order
' your KISS Destroyer
Nopostace] | Masterpiece Lamp
NECESSARY : today, payable in four
IF MAILED '.
IN THE ; installments of only
UNITED STATES | : $49.99 each, for a total of
: $199.95*. Your purchase
| is risk-free, backed by
; our 365-day money-
: back guarantee. Send
THE BRADFORD EXCHANGE ; no money now. Just
9345 N MILWAUKEE AVE : complete and return the
/ 71 ! Reservation Application
: today so you don't
| miss out!

01-23804-001-51 = CUT ALONG DOTTED LINE

BRADF ORD E XCHANG

BUSINESS REPLY MAIL

POSTAGE WILL BE PAID BY ADDRESSEE

HOWIE LONG жу

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INCLUDES AIR-COOLED
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