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PLAYBILL

THE GENDER REVOLUTION CONTRIBUTORS

Gregory Pardlo

In Subject, Verb, Object, the Pulitzer
Prize-winning poet reflects on the con-
sequences of the masculinity he learned
from his father. A professor of creative
writing at Rutgers University- Camden,
Pardlo has a new book, Air Traffic: A
Memoir of Ambition and Manhood in
America, out April 10 from Knopf.

Sloane Crosley

With her signature blend of incisive wit
and charm, Crosley returns to PLAYBOY
for the first time in a decade with Sorry
Not Sorry, an examination of the post-
Weinstein deluge of male mea culpas.
The Vanity Fair contributing editor's
book of essays Look Alive Out There is
out April 3 from Farrar, Straus & Giroux.

Julia Cooke

In Pretty Hurts, Cooke explores new
shows that bend conventional rules of
prime time with angry and beautiful fe-
male leads. She wrote The Other Side of
Paradise, a nonfiction portrait of Cuba,
and her byline has appeared in The New
York Times and Virginia Quarterly Re-
view, where she's a contributing editor.

Jessica P. Ogilvie

In You Better Work, L.A.-based con-
tributing editor Ogilvie shines a light
on the women forming grassroots
alliances within government, media,
technology and the service industries.
Last year she batted in PLAYBOY fea-
tures on VR porn, sex-work laws and
the world of camming.

Edel Rodriguez

Over a career spanning more than two
decades, Rodriguez has logged many
artistic achievements, most recently
winning the 2017 Cover of the Year
award from the American Society of
Magazine Editors. His bold illustrations
accompany several pieces in the Gender
Revolution package.

Mickey Rapkin

In Help Wanted, Rapkin, whose pre-
vious PLAYBOY contributions include
reports on denim hunting and party-
ing in Denmark, discovers a nontoxic
male milieu: support groups. His first.
book, Pitch Perfect, about the world of
college a cappella groups, inspired the
hit film franchise.

Curtis C. Chen

А onetime Silicon Valley software en-
gineer, Chen now lives in the Pacific
Northwest, where he writes full time
and runs a social gaming event called
Puzzled Pint. Author of the novel Way-
point Kangaroo, about a superpowered
secret agent in space, and its sequel,
Kangaroo Too, Chen penned this issue's
original short story Go, Space Racer!

Matthew Lyons

Hailing from the U.K., Lyons devel-
oped his 3-D geometric sensibilities at
Loughborough University and quickly
became an in-demand artist, with
work appearing in Wired, The New
York Times, Popular Mechanics and
more. His distinctive retro-futuristic
style is on full display in The Playboy
Pad of the Future.

Sean Manning

A freelance writer and senior editor
at Simon & Schuster, Manning is cur-
rently working on books about Bruce
Lee, the movies of 1999 and Chicago
gun violence. The Akron, Ohio native
covered an Uruguayan horse race for
us in 2014 and returns to the fold for
this issue's Playboy Interview with
actor-director John Krasinski.

Bryan Rodner Carr

A photographer and film editor, Carr
has collaborated with brands from
Spotify to Beats by Dre, and his pho-
tos have been featured in publica-
tions including Complex and Harper's
Bazaar. Most recently Carr met up
with Shan Boodram in Los Angeles to
snap the irrepressible YouTube sexol-
ogist for Let's Play.

Harper Smith

Celebrity photo shoots are old hat
for Smith, whose masterly portraits
of stars including Kate Bosworth
and Rita Ora have earned her highly
sought-after magazine covers. A Mid-
western native, Smith is a transplant to
Texas, making her the perfect person
to shoot actor Jesse Plemons for our
latest installment of 200

Maurizio Di Iorio

A self-taught shutterbug whose lush
still-ifes go down as smoothly as
the cocktails he regularly shoots for
PLAYBOY, Di lorio is a former law stu-
dent and an ex-copywriter. For Tongue
Thal'd, the Italy-based photographer
captures Mekhong, the spiced spirit of
Thailand. Implications, Di lorio's self-
published book, comes out this summer.

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SEIN

CONTENTS

Departments
LET'S PLAY shan Boodram wants to teach you a thing or 10 about sex 23
LIFESTYLE A smart bar, a brilliant TV and a genius bathroom: Welcome to the bachelor pad of the future 24
DRINKS Thai one on with Mekhong, the national spirit of Thailand 26
POLITICS The Democrats aim to play seat-stealers this midterm season; here's how they can win ЗО
SEX slutever's Karley Sciortino rushes in where other sexperts fear to tread ЗА
WEED On the eve of legalization, California's pot purveyors celebrate the very culture the industry may outgrow 40

and more

ALSO: The real dirt on fake news; our Advisor on sexbots; Hard Sun and end-of-the-world entertainmer

Features

INTERVIEW John Krasinski, now directing and producing, has come a long way from his Office cube 45

THE GENDER REVOLUTION american identity at the crossroads ӨӨ
PLAYBOY PHILOSOPHY by Cooper Hefner | SORRY NOT SORRY by Sloane Crosley | PRETTY HURTS by Julia Cook
HELP WANTED by Mickey Rapkin | SUBJECT, VERB, OBJECT by Gregory Pardlo | YOU BETTER WORK by Jessica P. Ogilvie

204 Jesse Plemons has a knack for complex characters; witness his creepy turn in the dark comedy Game Night 92
PLAYBOY’S PREDICTIONS From sex tech to space tourism, eight notables take a look at what's to come 96

FICTION Detective Mike Hammer is back! Enter Killing Town by Mickey Spillane and Max Allan Collins 112

POWERNAP Dream creatures threaten to become real in an exclusive comic from Maritza Campos and Bachan 134
PROFILE steven Pinker is a man with an uncommon message: Life is actually really good 140

FICTION Reality TV launches into zero gravity

in Go, Space Racer! by Curtis C. Chen 144

ine Michaels 161

HERITAGE the future looked bright from the past. Plus: cartoonist Gahan Wilson; Playmates Gwen Wong and Lor

Pictorials
SHE'S A RAINBOW Have you seen a lady fi

e

airer? Life's a prism of possibilities with Aussie El; ylor 54
THE WOMAN WHO FELL TO EARTH first contact with March Playmate Jenny Watwood is out of this world 76
EASTERN PROMISE sandra Kubicka will have you asking how to say “thank you” in Polish 104

BIRD OF PARADISE April Playmate Nereyda Bird's

WHEN IN ROME spend a romantic afternoon in Italy with Roxanna June and Jess Clarke 152

sunny, beachy beauty banishes all shadows 118

ON THE COVER (AND OPPOSITE PAGE) Jenny Watwood, photographed by Derek Kettela.

VOL. 65, NO. 2—MARCH/APRIL 2018

PLAYBOY

HUGH M. HEFNER
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
1953-2017

COOPERHEFNER CHIEF CREATIVE OFFICER
CHRIS DEACON CREATIVE DIRECTOR
JAMESRICKMAN EXECUTIVE EDITOR

CATAUER DEPUTY EDITOR
GILMACIAS MANAGING EDITOR
ANNAWILSON PHOTO DIRECTOR

EDITORIAL
ELIZABETH SUMAN SENIOR EDITOR; ANNADELGAIZO SENIOR ASSOCIATE EDITOR
WINIFRED ORMOND COPY CHIEF; SAMANTHASAIYAVONGSA RESEARCH EDITOR
CONTRIBUTING EDITORS: STEPHEN REBELLO, JESSICA P. OGILVIE, ADAM SKOLNICK, DANIELLE BACHER, ERIC SPITZNAGEL

ART
CHRISTOPHERSALTZMAN ART DIRECTOR; AARONLUCAS ART MANAGER

PHOTOGRAPHY

EVANSMITH ASSOCIATE PHOTO EDITOR

SANDRAE

SPHOTO ASSISTANT
CHRISTIE HARTMANN SENIOR MANAGER, PLAYBOY ARCHIVES
JOEY COOMBE COORDINATOR, PLAYBOY ARCHIVES
AMYKASTNER-DROWN SENIOR DIGITAL MEDIA SPECIALIST, PLAYBOY ARCHIVES

PRODUCTION
'NYEOMAN-SHAW PRODUCTION SERVICES MANAGER

YK.RIPPON PRODUCTION DIRECTOR; НЕ!

DIGITAL
SHANEMICHAELSINGH EXECUTIVE EDITOR
KATRINAALONSO CREATIVE DIRECTOR
RYANGAJEWSKI SENIOR EDITOR; ARIELA KOZIN, ANITALITTLE ASSOCIATE EDITORS
EVANWOODS PHOTO EDITOR

PUBLIC RELATIONS
HOMERSON SENIOR DIRECTOR, PUBLIC RELATIONS; TAMARAPRAHAMIAN SENIOR DIRECTOR, PUBLICITY

TERI

PLAYBOY ENTERPRISES INTERNATIONAL, INC.
BENKOHN CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER
JAREDDOUGHERTY CHIEF REVENUE OFFICER
JOHNVLAUTIN CORPORATE COMMUNICATIONS

ADVERTISING AND MARKETING
MARIEFIRNENO VICE PRESIDENT, ADVERTISING DIRECTOR
KARIJASPERSOHN DIRECTOR, MARKETING AND ACTIVATION

BRYANPRADO SENIOR CAMPAIGN MANAGER

2018, volume 65, number 2. Published bi-monthly by Playboy in national and regional editions, Playboy, 9346 Civic Center Drive, Beverly Hills, California 90210. Periodicals postage paid.
at Beverly Hills, California and at additional mailing offices. Canada Post Canadian Publications Mail Sales Product Agreement No. 40035534. Subscriptions: in the U.S., $38.97 for a year. Postmaster: Send all UAA to CFS (see
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ctive, « Playboy assumes no responsibility to return unsolicited editorial or graphic or other material. All rights in letters and unsolicited editorial and graphic material will be treated as unconditionally
1 to Playboy's unrestricted right to edit and comment editorially. Contents copyright © 2018 by Playboy. АП rights reserved. Playboy, Playmate and
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Playboy (ISSN 0032-1478), March/Apri

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CHEERS TO THAT
As a young woman I was always intrigued
by the Playboy brand. I followed Hugh Hef-
ner on The Girls Next Door years ago, but it
wasn't until I watched the American Playboy
series on Amazon last year that I decided to
subscribe to the magazine. Of course I'd al-
ways heard the *I read PLAYBOY for the arti-
cles" comments, but as a 46-year-old single
straight woman I can say that I wholeheart-
edly agree with that statement. To me, Playboy
has never represented anything but a celebra-
tion of women's beauty. I congratulate Cooper
Hefner on a visually stunning magazine. The
articles keep me reading from cover to cover
every time, in a way no other magazine does.
Bravo and please keep up the great work.

Kathy Parker

Haverhill, Massachusetts

ATOAST TO THE HOST
I really enjoyed the November/December
issue with the tribute to the late great Hugh
Hefner (A Man of His Time), without whom.
none of this would have been possible. It's
definitely a collector's issue and, fittingly, is
full of beautiful women.
Rick Christensen
Santee, California

WOMEN WITH WISDOM
T've seen some subtle changes in the magazine
recently. For instance, it's obvious to me that
a woman is behind Playboy Advisor. It didn't
used to be that way.

Joe Livo
San Diego, California
It might seem obvious because we print her
name every issue—Bridget Phetasy. To be
honest, we feel advice on proper cunnilingus
is more credible coming from a woman than

from a man.

THE TRUTH SHALL SET US FREE

Most cults begin with someone misinter-
preting scripture. That's what David Koresh
did, resulting in 76 members of his cult los-
ing their lives. “This was someone who was
really knowledgeable about the Bible and, їп
their minds, cracked codes they'd been trying
to solve their entire lives," says Drew Dowdle

DEAR PLAYBOY

Poolside with Australian model Anthea Page is right where we want to be.

in Steve Palopoli's story Among the Faithful
(January/February). The misinterpretation of
what the scriptures are actually saying is why
we have cults and different denominations.
Koresh did not crack any codes; there are no
secret codes in the Bible that need to be solved.
Melvin L. Beadles Sr.
Murrieta, California

ON THESAME PAGE

1 remember seeing Anthea Page in the June
2016 issue (Cool Front) and being awestruck
by her beauty. It's fair to say I was pleasantly
surprised to see her again in your most recent
installment (The Girl From Oz, January/
February). She has a natural beauty that leads
me to suggest that her third-time charm could
equate to Playmate status. Speaking of which,

please give my compliments to the lovely Janu-
ary Playmate Kayla Garvin and February Play-
mate Megan Samperi. What a beautiful start
tothe new year.
Jordon Scott Larson
Converse, Texas

MAKEIT RAIN

In the article on Rainey Qualley (Let's Play,
November/December), she's referred to as a
pop singer who has experimented with differ-
ent music producers. I've seen an interview
with her in the past when she was doing country
music. Did she leave country music altogether?
Other artists do several types of music, includ-
ing country, pop, rock and pop country. I love
country music, and I hope she’s not another
Taylor Swift. If you start out doing one type of

CREDITS: Cover, p. 6 and pp. 76-89 model Jenny Watwood at Lipps LA, photography by Derek Kettela, styling by Kelley Ash, hair by David Keough for Art Department, makeup by Simone Otis for Artists +
Company, styling assistance by Laura Duncan. Photography by: p. 4 courtesy Bryan Rodner Carr, courtesy Julia Cooke, courtesy Maurizio Di lorio, courtesy Matthew Lyons, courtesy Jessica P. Ogilvie, courtesy
Harper Smith, Folly Blaine, Папа Diamond, Deborah Feingold, Rachel Eliza Griffiths, Caitlin Mitchell, Sam Polcer; p. 16 Christopher von Steinbach for PLAYBOY Germany (2), Evan Woods; p. 17 courtesy Playboy
(2), courtesy Time's Up, courtesy Joe Suzuki, Mathew Imaging, Daria Nagovitz; p. 20 Levon Muradian, Christopher von Steinbach; pp. 38-39 courtesy Hulu (2); p. 66 collage photos courtesy Amazon Studios,
courtesy HBO, courtesy Netflix; p. 71 courtesy Gregory Pardlo; pp. 161-176 courtesy Playboy Archives. Р. 20 illustration by Erin Rose Opperman. Pp. 12-116 Killing Town © 2018 Mickey Spillane Publications, LLC.
P. 23 styling by Chloe Chippendale, hair by Kenya Alexander; pp. 34-35 styling by Kelley Ash, hair by Ashley Lynn Hall for Art Department, makeup by Daniele Piersons for Art Department; pp. 45-52 styling by

Jessica Paster for Crosby Carter Management, wardrobe by Prada, grooming by Amy Komorowski for Art Department; pp. 54-59 model Elyse Taylor at IMG, produced by Rachel Gill;

p. 92-95 styling by Beth

Hitchcock for Seaminx Artist Management, grooming by Erin Lee Smith for Atelier Management; pp. 104-111 model Sandra Kubicka at Next Models LA, styling by India Madonna, hair and makeup by Madeline

North for Wilhelmina LA;

118-132 model Nereyda Bird at Wilhelmina Miami; pp. 5:

160 models Jessica Clarke at Supreme Management and Roxanna June, styling by Kelley Ash, makeup by Matisse Andrews.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY ALI MITTON

music and want to try others, you should con-
tinue to do what you started out doing once in a
while. After all, that's the fan base that got you
started in the first place.

Eric Borgen

Kalkaska, Michigan

While we too would welcome more rootsy

Qualley tracks like “Ме and Johnny Cash,” we
think it's perfectly fine for artists to reposi-
tion themselves. That's what we call an evolu-
tion, and that's exactly why Qualley is someone
we're keeping an eye on.

FLAKING OUT
I have great respect for Jeff Flake and the po-
litical courage he showed in defying Donald
Trump (Senator Flake vs. the New Normal,
January/February), but I would have greater re-
spect for him if he ran for reelection and stayed
in the arena to continue the fight instead of just
delivering a rabbit punch.
G. Gideon Rojas
Santa Fe, New Mexico

FULL STEAM AHEAD
I hadn't bought a PLAYBOY magazine for
maybe 15 years. Out of curiosity I picked ир
the November/December issue. The models in
the sauna photographs by Jennifer Stenglein
(Taylor, Sydney & Terra Jo) are beautifully
lit and posed in a challenging environment.
That pictorial marked a sea change in style.
I wondered if PLAYBOY could keep it up. Yes,
you did. The photography by Dove Shore in
the January/February issue (On the Wing) is
stunning—soft, superbly back-lit, with Janu-
ary Playmate Kayla Garvin alluringly posed in
elegant lingerie. It's obvious a lot of thought
and planning went into setting up both of
those sessions. The result is the epitome of
class with natural, adorable-looking models.
Keep it up and ГЇЇ keep buying.

Peter Neumann

Ottawa, Ontario

IRRESISTIBLE INES
Your November/December issue is superb.
The best thing France ever sent us isn’t
champagne—it’s November Playmate Ines
Rau (Enchanté, Mademoiselle Rau).

Peter Wicklein

Silver Spring, Maryland

As your first transgender Playmate, French
model Ines Rau has made history; from the
looks of online comments, the decision has
been extremely divisive among readers.

DEAR PLAYBOY

Did Senator Jeff Flake do the right thing?

Good. Change doesn't come easily, espe-
cially when dealing with a shift in our collec-
tive consciousness. I believe Playboy is firmly
planted on the right side of history with this
subject. However, if I may offer some fearless
feedback, Ms. Rau's pictorial is so modest I
momentarily thought I'd traveled back to the
days of non-nude models in the magazine.
In comparison to the other pictorials in the
same issue, Ms. Rau might as well be wear-
ing a parka. Treating one body differently
than another on the pages of the magazine
could subconsciously validate any perceived
inequalities between these women, and I'm
sure that is not the intent. Congratulations
on the milestone and thank you. Playboy has
always advocated for the LGBT community,
and it’s heartening to see a global brand go
against the status quo and make a choice be-
cause it’s the right thing to do. I can’t wait to
see what’s next.

Josh Fehrens
Toronto, Ontario

SHE’S ACLASSIC

Thanks for letting us “re-Liv” one of PLAYBOY'S

all-time beauties, 1972 Playmate of the Year Liv

Lindeland (Heritage, January/February).
Tommy Malabo
Tucson, Arizona

WRITERS’ WRITERS
I wanted to reach out to say thank you. I love
that the magazine has kept its integrity and
poise through all the tumultuous battles. The
magazine is still iconic, and the fiction re-
mains strong; as a writer, I appreciate this. I
read the whole thing every time.

David M. Olsen

Pacific Grove, California

VOTE LORENA
Lorena Medina (Back at the Ranch, January/
February) is by far the sexiest woman you've
featured in recent years. I don't know why she
wasn't chosen to be a Playmate, but she defi-
nitely gets my vote.
Timothy O'Brien
Boston, Massachusetts

Dark-haired beauty Lorena Medina takes
my breath away. Why doesn't she have the
Playmate honor? I could get lost in those brown
eyes. And thank you for adding the Heritage
section. January 1971 Playmate Liv Lindeland
is my new favorite Playmate.

Paul Marini

Erie, Pennsylvania

GLAD TO HAVE YOU
I ordered your November/December
solely out of respect for Mr. Hefner. I haven't
read PLAYBOY in recent years, but after finish-
ing this issue, I was very impressed. You've re-
created the classic magazine with a modern
twist. I immediately subscribed and am look-
ing forward to what's to come.

Michael Bogdan

San Diego, California

KIMBERLY CONFUSION

In our special tribute edition celebrating Hugh
Hefner, we mistakenly credited September
2009 Playmate Kimberly Phillips with the trib-
ute about the rabbit species named after Hef.
The tribute was from October 2004 Playmate
Kimberly Holland.

COVERSTORY

We've seen the future and it
sure looks bright with March
Playmate Jenny Watwood.
Mr. Rabbit has already armed
himself for the epic journey.

E-mail letters@playboy.com, or write

9346 Civic Center Drive, Beverly Hills, California 90210.

14

ILLUSTRATION BY EVGENY PARFENOV

MARK NASON.

LOS ANGELES

A REVOLUTION IN CLASSIC FOOTWEAR

THE DRESSKNIT COLLECTION BY MARK NASON’

FEATURES SEAMLESS KNIT CONSTRUCTION AND
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WORLD of PLAYBOY

From Germany,
a Playboy First

Hundreds of beautiful women have been fea-
tured on the cover of PLAYBOY Germany, but
February's cover girl bears a proud di
tion: Twenty-one-year-old Giuliana Farfalla
is the first transgender model to appear on
the cover of any edition of PLAYBOY. Hugh
Hefner would have approved the decision, says
PLAYBOY Germany editor Florian Boitin, since
Hef was “resolutely opposed to all forms of ex-
clusion and intolerance." She's in good com-
pany: Last November Ines Rau made history
sttrans Playmate, and in1991
Caroline Cossey became the first trans model
to have a full pictorial in the magazine.

Giuliana has walked the runway in Berlin,
competed on the 12th season of Germany's
Next Topmodel and can currently be seen on
the German version of I’m a Celebrity—Get
Me Out of Here! “I hope you enjoy the cover as
much as I do,” she said on Instagram. Danke
schün, PLAYBOY Germany!

s PLAYBOY's fi

as

16

TOUCHDOWNS =
AND TURNTABLES

We got into the Super Bowl spirit on Jan-
uary 21 with Playmates Ashley Hobbs
and Gia Marie at an exclusive event at
West Hollywood’s London hotel, where
FanDuel’s top fantasy players watched the
Patriots and the Eagles win their champi-
onship games—and one lucky player won a
trip for two to Super Bowl LII. The night be-
fore that historic contest, Snoop Dogg took
tothe turntables at our Big Game Weekend
Party in Minneapolis. VIP gu
bottle service and bottomless spirits—
gin and juice optional—not to mention
Snoop's drop-it-like-it’s-hot set.

PARTY WITH
PLAYBOY AT
SXSW AND

COACHELLA

Join us this March in Austin,
Texas, the live-music capital of
the world, for the SXSW Music
Festival. A Playboy panel dis-
cussion will feature top names
across entertainment and cul-
ture offering their insights into
music, sex and more. In April,
Playboy will host various events
during the first weekend of the
Coachella Valley Music and Arts
Festival. Naked yoga? Check.
Pool party? Pull on your floaties.
Weed-infused dessert buffet?
Get in line! Ain't no party like a
Playboy party, and you're invited.

Jazz Fest Turns 40
Musical greats Charles Lloyd and Lucinda Williams will headline the 4oth Jor
Playboy Jazz Festival at the Hollywood Bowl June 9 and 10. Other acts include

the Ramsey Lewis Quartet and Daymé Arocena; longtime host George Lopez
returns to emcee the event. Buy tickets at HollywoodBowl.com

(
i. reef silt: mate
Rly agar tion

Artists Donate Rabbit-
Inspired Pieces

for Climate Benefit
That feeling when you just don’t want

to let go? We had it big-time this Feb-
ruary when we auctioned off more

than a dozen original artwoı
including Joe Suzuki's Happ;

POST THESE BILLS

April 2017 Playmate Nina Daniele put on her
Bunny ears and tail to promote our special trib-
ute edition honoring PLAYBOY founder Hugh M.
Hefner, wheat-pasting postersand visiting news-
stands in Hollywood. *Hef was a prog
thinker, a proponent of sexual expression and an
early and adamant advocate of civil rights,” says
Nina. “He changed the world for the better.” How
right she is. Limited copies of the special edition
remain; buy yours at PlayboyShop.com.

ressive

dent, which he stopped by our offic!

Time to Take a Stand to sign (above)—to raise money for

In January, Playboy

ach

environmental ini
г vired piece

proudly donated $5,000
tothe Time's Up legal

donated by our Cre-
defense fund. "Encour- i

8 s, includ-
ing Scott Campbell, an Eaton,
Ben Venom and January 1996 Play-
mate Victoria Fuller. The auction
took place online and culminated in
aparty at the swanky 70th-floor OUE
Skyspace in downtown L.A.

aging women to have
a voice at all tables will
undoubtedly make the
country and the world
a far better place," said
Cooper Hefner.

HELLO, 2018

As champagne flowed, our Play-
mates, Bunnies and guests rang
in the new year in style with Chief
Creative Officer Cooper Hefner,
who gave Playboy's first toast of

2018. Revelers enjoyed dance per-
formances and live music (plus
fun with sparklers) before and
after the big countdown. Here's to
another sexy, sophisticated year!

=

PLAYBOY.COM

READ. WATCH. EXPERIENCE

ONLINE-
EXCLUSIVE
GALLERIES
e Mia Khalifa,
photographed
by Levon
Muradian.

BONUS MAGAZINE
CONTENT
eSexexpert Shan
Boodram is everything
your high school sex-ed
teacher wasn't. See more of
the Let's Play subject in an
extended photo gallery.

е Graham Dunn shows us
afew more shots ofauthor
and sex-adventurer
Karley Sciortino.

THEBEST OF OUR
ARCHIVES
е Sensational accusations,

inquisitorial investiga-
tions, unfounded conclu-
sions. Asthe #MeToo
movement grows, so does
the number of its critics.
InJanuary 1986, Hugh
Hefner wrote about
asimilar sociosexual
debate and the rise of
what he termed "sexual
McCarthyism."

е Revisit all our past
March and April
magazine covers. No doubt
you'll find a favorite—and
enjoy alittle nostalgia too.

CULTURE,
POLITICS & MORE
е We try out a “magical”
wine-infused cannabis
tour, anew trend in drug
tourism.

е Where have all the male
pornstars gone? Eric
Spitznagel investigates.
е A black man in Louisi-
ana called the Veterans
Crisis Line for help.
When sheriff's deputies
responded, the vet ended
up dead. Ian Frisch asks
what went wrong.

Add a comment

"The difference between alpha
males and beta males is the way
they behave—not what they think
about feminism."

"As a feminist, | do not want
women to have the power. | want
the sexes to share it."

"My husband is a feminist. | would
never marry a man who rejected
equality, I find this resistance to
gender equality baffling.”

“Men will always pretend to agree
with lots of things that women
say, even stupid things, in order to
get laid.”

—comments on The Myth of the Male
Feminist by Debra W. Soh

“т

20

Can a vibrator really replace a man? Playboy
Advisor Bridget Phetasy has doubts (luckily).

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SHAN BOODRAM

Think of Shan Boodram as thi

Walmart greeter of sex and re-
lationships. “I'm not trying
to be back in aisle 12 with the
butt plugs," says the year-
old clinical sexologist and host
of the Facebook series Make Up
or Break Up. “Му goal is getting
to the heart of intimacy. You
don't have to have a shitty love
life or sex life." Growing up in
Toronto, Boodram was so sex
ually precocious that her par
ents banned her from stripping
her Barbie dolls. But as she ma
tured, a string of less than stel.
lar sexual experiences left her
baffled. *I was 19 and thought,
This can't be it. There's no way
all these movies were made
about this thing that's awful,"
she says. After a summer spent
reading sex books with "great
info packaged in the most bor
ingest way,” she found her
niche: marrying erotic entice
ment with smart sex education.
A book followed—a collection of
first-person testimonies entitled
Laid—and a YouTube presence
bloomed. More than 20 million
views later, “Shan Boody" is one

of the most respected new sex

perts in the pop-psych sphere
but she's missing one staple of a
millennial sex life.

dick pics,” she says a little wist-
fully. “I wouldn't mind getting

some!

BRYAN RODNER CARR

ONDEMAND

With drone delivery,
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of your ancestors. Same-
day shipping is so common
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seen as clunky and unnec-
essary home appliances.

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The year is 2039. The singularity hasn’t arrived quite yet, but
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day-to-day life. For the sophisticated bachelor, this means
key-changes in how you work, watch and entertain at home.

sy JOHN-CLARK LEVIN
iLustration ey MATTHEW LYONS

MINI-MIXOLOGIST

A tabletop machine powered by materials science and loaded
with chemical precursors can mix up just about any drink you

can imagine, from an instantly aged single malt to cocktails of
exotic flavors that didn't even exist in your parents' generation.

WASHME

Your clothes have long

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netof things." They'll

let you know when you

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your laundry service— PALM READING

and give you a polite Every trip to the bathroom

reminder when it's time doubles as a physical. Hold

to have a shower. your hand up to a smart
Scanner to learn and track
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idgment of yesteryear are all but extinct. |

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Once upon a time, a game called Pokémon Go sparked an augmented-reality craze. Now you con-
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Y

DRINKS

— —

Mekhong, the Thai spiced spirit that's popping up at adventurous
bars all over the country, will slap you in the face

BY MATT ZURAS PHOTOGRAPHY BY MAURIZIO DI IORIO

If you're searching for a liquor to challenge
both your palate and your home mixology
skills, look no further than Mekhong, the

so-called spirit of Thailand. Considering
its dirt-cheapness and popularity among
tourists in Thailand, you may have tried
this sugarcane-and-rice-derived stuff en
route to a full-moon party in Pattay
no one would blame

а, and
ou for not remember-

ing its idiosyncratic flavor. But in recent

years it has ventured abroad, becoming a
powerful tool in the arsenals of inventive
U.S. bartenders

With a gingery-sweet kick that doesn't
quite mask its chemical undertones,
Mekhong is best avoided neat. *This is not
a sipping whiske: s Andy Ricker, chef

and owner of Portland’s lauded Pok Pok.
Ricke encountered the spirit at a Koh
Phangan disco in 1987, and today he uses it
in his restaurant’s popular Khing & I cock-
tail (see his recipe at right).

After debuting in 1941 via a government-
owned di Mekhong quickly be
the top tipple for Thais, only to be de-
throned decades later with the emergence

of the higher-proof but equally affordable
SangSom.

“Generally speaking, the Thai whiskeys
can be described as vaguely medicinal,
Ricker says of both spirits. “That diese
flavor you get from distilled rice spirits is in

there, and that sweet flavor from the cane
and lots of residual sugar and caramel col-
oring too.”

In fact, Mekhong is not a whiskey at all,
though it’s often referred to as such. It’s
closer to a spiced rum, but it’s not exactly
that either. Mekhong is its own thing, and
like a wedge of Stilton or a farmhouse cider,
it has an assertive character that may take

some getting used to. Fortunately, you're
free to experiment without blacking out: De-
spite Mekhong's bold taste, its alcohol by vol-
ume measure

arelatively low 35 percent.
Ricker suggests following the Thai
example and diluting Mekhong with water,

seltzer or cola and enjoying over a long
meal. Creative drinkers might sul
Mekhong into any cocktail that с:
spiced rum, such as a dark and stormy or a
maitai—or should we say a mai Thai?

GLOBAL TOASTING

Go global with this trio of brawny spirits
representing three continents

€ Palinka: A power-

©. ful brandy, palinka is
beloved in Hungary,
& where locals make this
= legal moonshine from
E various fruits. Drink it
“a straight or with soda,

or try it ina pisco sour.

Aguardiente:
2 Colombia's version of.
"fire water" is strong
on anise but light

on alcohol, peaking
around 29 percent ABV.
Often consumed neat,
aguardiente makes a
respectable ersatz pas-
tis in cocktails.

€ Boukha: Depending
on the brand, Tunisia's
fig brandy can taste
like either gasoline or
an autumn orchard

де,
t3 Try Boukha Bokobsa,
alovely eau-de-vie
^ that dates back to the
Sur
D4 1880s and plays well in

fruit-forward drinks.

Khing & I
[
Pair this piquant cocktail with your
favorite Thai dish

3-4 thin slices of ginger, skin removed
1.5 02. Mekhong
15 ог. fresh lime juice
102. ginger simple syrup.
Key lime wedge for garnish

Prepare
Muddle ginger slices in cocktail shaker.
Add Mekhong, lime juice, syrup and ice.
Shake and pour into rocks glass. Garnish
with lime wedge

(ae)

first year the River was
dyed green for St. Patrick’s Day
‘amount of dye
used to color the water today
time it takes to duration of

ores the river's
(which is orange)
by motorboat

number of Easter eggs
їп the largest hunt on.
record—tollected by

number of four-leaf у time it took , odds of finding a
clovers in the said record four-leaf clover,
current Guinness holder to according to
world-record amass his horticulture

holder's collection collection professor John Frett

p ¿A
L fine troy ounces of gold in lickin

T the U.S. governments reserve

as of October 2017

a

RAINBOQOQU)!

1988: debut broadcast of MTV’s Spring Break
most rainbows ever caught together on comera $1.8 BILLION: estimated amount
number of known rainbow varieties spent by 2017 spring breakers

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POLITICS

THE FUTURE OF THE DEMOCRATS

A lesson from Alabama: If the Democratic Party wants to dominate the midterms, it

The midterm election cycle is often а slam dunk
for the minority party, but at press time the Dem-
ocrats hadn't even settled on a strategy. If they
want to see victories in 2018, here's a suggestion:
Stop expecting to lose and start playing to win.

Consider Alabama’s special election last De-
cember. Doug Jones’s upset victory over Repub-
lican Roy Moore proved thateven in traditionally
conservative strongholds, the fate of the Demo-
cratic Party is not predestined. Ofcourse, had the
Republican been anyone but an extremist facing
asexual-assault scandal, Jones might
not have prevailed. From early in the
race, local pundits sensed thata Dem-
ocrat could do well, but it’s unlikely
the Democratic National Committee or other
progressives would have put the same resources
into defeating a more moderate Republican.

Waiting on the GOP to nominate more ab-
horrent candidates isn’t a winning strategy
for the DNC in 2018, though Democrats will
have plenty of opportunities to use that tactic:
Republicans continue to present plausible tar-
gets in conservative states. In Texas, Represen-
tative Beto O’Rourke is mounting a grassroots
Senate campaign to defeat right-wing theocrat
Ted Cruz. In Arizona, Democrats are eyeing the
seat opened by retiring senator Jeff Flake. Their
candidate could potentially face either ex-
Maricopa County sheriff Joe Arpaio, who was
recently pardoned by President Trump, wiping
away his criminal contempt-of-court convic-
tion, or Kelli Ward, a former state senator and
onetime Bannon Republican who drew back-
lash from her own party for calling on Senator
John McCain to resign after his cancer diagno-
sis. Arizona is also the battleground to replace
Representative Trent Franks, a Pat Buchanan-
style Republican who resigned in December
amid sexual-harassment claims; his seat may
not be as safe for the GOP as anticipated.

"It isn't until you have a race with a weak
Republican candidate and a strong Democratic
candidate that the DNC throws any substan-
tial amount of money and support behind their
own,” says Cole Manders, a former insider and
onetime rising star of the Alabama GOP. Liber-
als need to shift their mind-set if they intend to
win over newvoters, he says. “Elections, victories

sv J.W.
HOLLAND

and majorities are investments, not lotteries."

Democrats might be wise to take a cue
from the GOP, which funds local-level races
nationwide—races the Democratic Party
seems inclined to ignore. During the Obama
presidency, right-leaning organizations in-
cluding the American Legislative Exchange
Council and Americans for Prosperity poured
hundreds of millions of dollars into the cam-
paigns of regional candidates. The efforts paid
big dividends: By the time Obama left office,
the Republican Party had success-
fully taken more than доо state-level
seats across the country. That suc-
cess put redistricting in the hands
of GOP-controlled state legislatures. Through
gerrymandering, the threshold for Democrats
to win congressional elections be-
came much harder to cross. It also gave
Republicans a bullpen of recognizable
candidates for federal elections.

“It was somewhat discouraging for
us as young Democrats," says Miranda
Joseph, a Democratic strategist in Al-
abama and two-time nominee for state
office. *We lost a lot of good leaders."
Alabama's state Democratic Party, it
seemed, had been practically left for
dead. Much of the ground game and
support for Jones came from national
organizations and progressives from
other areas, making up for the lack of
Democratic infrastructure in thestate.

But Joseph points to improvements
over the past year. "There are so many more
small, successful groups now doing much more
effective work than the state party is able to do
as one large group," she says.

As Jones's victory proves, red seats can be
flipped to blue. This midterm season, Dem-
ocrats need to connect with moderate and
independent-minded Republicans who don't
identify with eitherthe GOP's establishment fac-
tion or its alt-right-aligned branch. They must
advance into the consistently deep red patches
on the map and commit enough resources to
win at the state and local levels. And they must
show potential new voters that the party is field-
ingcandidates who could be their neighbors and

will need a serious attitude adjustment

friends, not the so-called liberal elites who hold
drastically different values.

“1 suspect the DNC may start investing in
races that previously seemed out of reach," says
Hiral Tipirneni, a Democrat campaigning to
replace Representative Franks. “I’ve seen that
Arizona Democrats are experiencing a new
energy and enthusiasm, particularly at the local
level, since Trump's election."

Democrats will need to channel that
enthusiasm—along with funding—to earn
victories in red districts. For Democrats, the
concerns of average American voters will be an-
other key to winning in 2018; a back-to-basics
message will likely resonate even in the red-
dest of polling sites. According to recent Gallup
polling, Americans are most concerned with

health care, race relations, immigration and the
economy—but the biggest concern is dysfunc-
tional, ineffective government. “I think Demo-
crats nationally are standing in stark contrast
to the corporate, ultra-wealthy priorities being
promoted by the GOP in D.C.,” Tipirneni says.
One more suggestion for Dems: Don'tallowthe
focus of the midterms to be President Trump.
That will be crucial for individual Democratic
races, where candidates must fight on their
own terms and not get baited into rhetorical,
fear-based brawls. The future of the Democratic
Party rests on whether its current incarnation
can shut the door on past failures. To win, Dem-
ocrats must first realize they can. п

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Playboy Advisor

Columnist Bridget Phetasy on why the sexbot revolution shouldn’t necessarily turn us on.
Plus, a primer on strip-club etiquette and advice on exploring your kinks and fetishes online

Q: With all the news about the proliferation of sexbots, I recently
@ decided to check out Ex Machina, Alex Garland's 2015 AI thriller
in which a programmer falls in love with a humanoid. It got me think-
ing: If scientists" obsession with AI continues and relations between hu-
mans and robots become normalized, will having sex with a robot while
married someday be considered cheating?—T.C., New York, New York

ILLUSTRATION BY NICHOLAS GUREWITCH

Almost every week I'm asked some
form of “1з [blank] considered cheat-
ing?" The simple answer: If you're hiding
something from your partner, you're engag-
ing in a form of infidelity. But ultimately, what
constitutes “cheating” is decided by the couple.
A healthy relationship relies on honest com-
munication about desires and boundaries. For
some people, watching porn or getting happy
endings isn't cheating, but camming or direct
messaging hot people on Instagram is. Some
couples have “don’t ask, don't tell" agreements.
Asto your concerns about potential android in-
fidelity, I can only offer this: A woman may not
care if her significant other gets with a sexbot,
but what if her sexbot ends up being the better
lover? In that case, you'll have a problem, and
you might not have the luxury of hitting restart
and hoping for the best.

I'm a fan of lap dances. Recently, I
was caught off-guard by a beautiful
stripper who, after giving me a good dance, re-
quested а tip. Since Igo to the club with only $20
bills and singles, I tipped $2, as I would when
paying for a drink at the bar. She faked a smile,
took the money and ignored me for the rest of
the night. I’ve never been asked by other dancers
to tip. Is there etiquette to strip-club tipping?
Personal dances at this specific club range from
$20 to $100.—J.F., Palo Alto, California

There absolutely is strip-club tipping
etiquette. This is a service industry;
the women are providing a service, and they
work for tips. Depending on the club, danc-
ers either pay a flat fee to work there or hand
over a percentage of their lap-dance earnings.
At the end of the night, many dancers have to
split their tips with the DJ, security guard,
bartender, manager and, sometimes, a *house
mom." Most dancers need to make $100 just to
break even. As my stripper friend Mira says,
“This is a proverbial Disneyland. Come in ex-
pecting to pay inflated prices. If you don't
spend at least $100 per hour on me, don't be
surprised if I ignore you."

There isascale too, which ranges from watch-
ing a dancer onstage to getting a lap dance to
enjoying a VIP experience. If you're just watch-
ing, tip her whether or not she’s reenacting a
scene from Cirque du Soleil. According to strip-
per Kasey Koop, host of the podcast Kasey’s
Freek Show, “You should tip each girl on stage
$2 to $5 minimum."

As for lap dances, Koop advises, “Two bucks
is fine, but 20 percent makes sense.” Many
men I know buy “packages” for $100; for in-
stance, four dances at $20 each, leaving the
last Andrew Jackson as a tip. Regarding your

experience with this “beautiful stripper,” Mira
says, “I might never demand atip—but we make
everything on the floor, so we learn quickly
whom we want to dance for and whom we don't.”

My ex and I started pegging afew years
ago. After we broke up, I, a man in my
late3os, developed an attraction to (some might
callita fetish for) transgender women. I hooked
up afew times with a transgender woman Imet,
but she has since moved away. I've searched
sites like Craigslist and Backpage, but most
women on those are interested only in sex for
рау. Iwant something more organic. Where can
Imeet transgender women or other women into
pegging?—H.L., Columbus, Ohio
A Let'sbeclear: Men should not fetishize
transgender women; those who do are
often referred to as *chasers." (Theantiquated
term is tranny chaser, but nobody outside the
trans community should be using it.) Trans
women are not your sexual playthings, and you
should pursue them only if you want to be in a
relationship with them—or at least put yourself
on the line for their rights and visibility.

More important, you seem to prioritize your
own pleasure. Some trans women aren't in-
terested in penetrating their partners. It may
also depend on where they are in their tran-
sition. Finding partners who are simply into
pegging—whetherthey'retransorcis-women—
is easier. I recommend creating an account on
FetLife.com, “the social network for the BDSM,
fetish and kinky community.” There, you can
discuss your love for pegging up front and not
have to wade through dates who aren't down.

I'm a guy who recently got dumped
by a serial dater. In the time since we
stopped talking, she has been in two relation-
ships and I’ve stayed single, which has caused
me to become insecure. How do you get over
someone who obviously used you as a place-
holder until the next guy came along?—F.M.,
Chicago, Illinois
A Whenever I've pined after a serial
dater or a player or someone who just
wasn't that into me, it has forced me to take a
hard look at the piece of myself that was cling-
ing to that person. Almost always, the problem
is rooted in ego. It's human nature to want the
people or things you can't have. Then there's
the broken part of you that doesn't love your-
self enough to just move on. I suggest looking
at both your ego and your brokenness and ask-
ing yourself the hard questions we avoid after
a breakup. Confront that dreaded F word:
feelings. What's coming up for you? Aban-
donment? Jealousy? Unworthiness? Do you

have a pattern of dating emotionally unavail-
able women? When you work on your own
self-esteem and identify the real root of your
insecurities, you won't need to get over that
serial dater; in all likelihood, your desire for
her will have already faded away.

e My wife has endometriosis, which
‚© makes vaginal sex for her incredibly
painful. Any tips for making sex more pleasur-
able for her? Thank you, from both of us.—S.R.,
Midland, Texas
A I'm not a doctor, nor do I have endo-
metriosis, so I reached out to some ex-
perts. Dr. Serena McKenzie, medical director
at the Northwest Institute for Healthy Sexu-
ality, says, “А woman suffering painful inter-
course should first be evaluated by a pelvic floor
physical therapist to improve likely pelvic floor
dysfunction." This is reiterated by certified sex
therapist Heather Davidson. "I have seen cases
where the pelvic floor muscle dysfunction is
actually causing most of the pain during pen-
etrative sex—not the endometriosis," she says.
"Luckily, pelvic floor muscle dysfunction can
be successfully treated with physical therapy."

If you've concluded that the pain is related
solely to endometriosis, you can experiment
with the following:

1. Commit to foreplay and use plenty of lube.
The more relaxed and aroused she is, the better
theentire sexual experience.

2. Incorporate positions in which she can
be in control, and go slow. “These may include
side-to-side modified missionary (legs to-
gether) or spooning,” Davidson says. “А simple
tilt of the pelvis or slight change in the angle
of your penis may make all of the difference."

3. Track the pain, which is commonly worst
when a woman is ovulating and having her pe-
riod, Davidson says. "You might have to avoid
penetrative sex completely at these times."

4. Remember, penetrative sex is not your
only option. Davidson says, *I often find that
couples who face certain obstacles with sex
end up having some ofthe most varied, healthy
and happy sex lives. Couples can put too much
focuson penetrative sex and neglect other fun,
equally pleasurable sexual activities."

Once again, communication is everything.
“Аз a sex therapist and woman with stage IV
endometriosis since my late teens, I intimately
understand the pain involved," says sex ther-
apist Jennifer Wiessner. "Every woman who
suffers from endometriosis will experience it
individually." In other words, your wife is the
best source of information about her body and
pleasure, so take your cues from her.

Questions? E-mail advisor@playboy.com.

er mastermind Karley Sciortino has built an empi
Noration of sexual fringes. Her new book could not M

s» SCOTT PORCH внотосварнуву GRAHA

In the 1960s, George Plimpton talked his way
onto an NFL team for his book Paper Lion. In
the aughts, A.J. Jacobs followed the scriptures
to the letter and wrote The Year of Living Bib-
lically. More recently, Karley Sciortino spent
about a year as a dominatrix and another as a
sugar baby, documenting her experiences via
her multiplatform personal brand Slutever.

If you're familiar with Sciortino, it’s prob-
ably because you've seen the sex column she
writes for Vogue.com or the video she made for
Vice (31 million views and counting) in which
she gets down witha male sex doll
on camera or the decidedly NC-17
episode of the Netflix series Easy
on which she plays a prostitute.
Her work bridges memoir, per-
formance art, investigative jour-
nalism, social activism—and an
unwavering dedication to first-
hand experience.

The 32-year-old New Yorker has
leaned into the term slut in the
decade or so that she’s been writ-
ing about her sexual experiences—in a blog, in
а web series, in a documentary show for Vice-
land and ina new book for Grand Central, all of
which are called Slutever—the same way people
have claimed pejoratives such as bitch, queer
and Obamacare to free those terms from nega-
tive connotations.

“Tlike the idea that what I do is a mixture of
journalism, personal curiosity, adventure and
something like sexual anthropology," Scior-
tino says. “This idea that to be a journalist is to
bea fly on the wall isn’t always the case today.

SEX

I’ve never been good at sitting on the sidelines
and watching things objectively. I want to doc-
ument things from the inside.”

By immersing herself in fringe cultures,
she has ventured beyond societal and per-
sonal preconceptions, exploring kinks and
rituals that would strike most people as
deeply weird or even pathological. As a dom-
inatrix's assistant, she whipped middle-
aged investment bankers till they bled. She
crouched naked over their faces and peed in
their mouths.

"LADMIRE THAT WILLINGNESS
TO 60 GET THE THING OTHER
PEOPLE STIGMATIZE.”

“When you encounter something different
or strange,” she says, “you're like, What the
fuck? My impulse is to ask, What does that
mean? Why are they like that? What's relat-
able about it?”

In her work, she argues that the reasons
sexual promiscuity is societally shunned—
because it lowers morals, ruins self-esteem,
creates co-dependency and has all the other
pernicious effects your mother warned you
about—repeatedly fail to stand up to scru-
tiny. Her book cites a 2014 Cornell study

that found students who engaged in ca-
sual sex generally reported lower levels
of stress and depression than students
who did not. She sees the sex-as-therapy
model as an explanation for much of
what today passes as deviance.

“If people have the desire to seek out a
dominatrix or be kidnapped or go to sex
parties or have many sexual partners, I
kind of admire that willingness and abil-
ity to go get the thing other people stig-
matize,” Sciortino says. “So many of us
don't have that ability. We can’t even
admit to ourselves what we want."

And while the path to greater under-
standing may require the kind of fearless
and open-ended investigation Sciortino
practices, the solution, in a certain light,
isremarkably simple: “Ithinktherearea
whole lot of problems we could solve with
alittle more sex." п

Dear Karley
From dating etiquette to polyamory,
Sciortino weighs in on five burning questions

What's one common mistake men make
on first dates?

Being indecisive. | hate when a guy half
asks me out, like texting, "We should hang."
It's like...should we? If you're going to ask
someone on a date, go in 100 percent. It can
be as simple as "Hey, | would love to hang
with you. Are you free Friday for dinner?"
Then choose a restaurant. To be honest, it's
not rocket science.

Can a straight man be a "proud slut"?
Because slut is a word that has long been
used to put down women, it feels awkward
for a guy to define himself as one. It's like

a straight girl calling herself a fag—it's just
creepy. However, | absolutely think straight
guys can be sexually exploratory and

have multiple partners in a respectful and
healthy way, just like anyone else.

What's the best setting for a date?

The idea of going on a first date that.
doesn't involve alcohol actually feels
psychotic to me. Unless you relish social
awkwardness and never want to have sex
again, all dates should take place in a dimly
lit bar after seven Р.м. There's no need to
reinvent the wheel.

15 monogamy outdated?

I think as a culture we are beginning to
open up to the idea of nonmonogamy as a
viable option. Monogamy is really hard, but
letting your partner be railed by someone
else seems like actual torture for most
people. So | think it will be a long time
before monogamy becomes passé.

What's one thing every PLAYBOY reader
should know about sex?

I think it would generally be helpful if
everyone were taught (from a young age, if
possible) that we should approach our sex
lives the same way we approach all other
aspects of our lives, from our careers to
our hobbies: Essentially, it's something you
have to invest time and effort into. You're
going to fuck up; it will be discouraging and
difficult at times, and you aren't entitled to
anything. But in the end, if you work hard,
it will be rewarding.

WAS THE YEAR OF FAKE NEWS:

Spurred by Russian meddling dur-

1 ing the 2016 election and the freshly
anointed . president's contempt for

much of the mainstream media, multiple dictionaries added
the term to their pages, and its usage increased 365 percent
between 2016 and 2017. Collins Dictionary deemed it 2017 5
“word of the year," beating out such formidable contend-
ers as echo chamber, Antifa and cuffing season. Never to be
outdone, President Trump capped off the year by claiming
he had invented the term, which, in addition to appearing
in American newspapers since 1890, has existed in various
peripheral forms for about 500 years.
If 2017 was the year of fake news, 2018 will, we hope, be the
year of fact-checking. And with digital giants from Facebook
to Google announcing plans to add factual gatekeepers to
their content systems, this is a good time to take the long view
and clear up what's real about fake т

1622 1807

In God We Trust Thin Skins

Pope Gregory XV establishes *Nothing can now be believed
the religious organization which is seen in a newspaper,"
Congregatio de Propaganda President Thomas Jefferson,
Fide, or Congregation for the irritated that the press has taken
Propagation of the Faith. acritical stance against him

1782

“The Substance Is Truth"
Seeking to drum up support
for American independence,

Sound familiar?

Benjamin Franklin creates a fake
issue of a real Boston newspaper,
The Independent Chronicle.

One concocted story accuses
British soldiers of hiring Native
Americans to scalp colonial
women, children and soldiers.

1835

1960s |

Shoot the Moon

The penny pressa breed of

ationalized opinion and go
disguised as real news—surge
in popularity. A highlight: the
Great Moon Hoax, a story about
anastronomer who reportedly

sen

observed unicorns on the moon.

1890

First Faker
A Cincinnati Commercial
Tribune article entitled
"Secretary Brunnell Declares
Fake News About His People

Is Being Telegraphed Over the
Country" marks the first known
appearance of the term fake news
in print. (The hashtag will have
to wait another

O years or so.)

1938 29)
un?

Martian Mayhem

Orson Welles’s radio adaptation

ofthe H.G. Wells novel The War

of the Worlds convinces some

listeners that aliens have landed
on Earth— causing widespread
panic, two heart attacks and a
national debate about the role
ofthe Federal Communications
Commission.

Just Kidding
founding father Paul
aunches The Realist,

a monthly magazine of real and
fake news (or, more accurately,
satire) written by the likes of
Ken Kesey, Richard Pryor, Lenny
Norman Mai
тить.

Robert

1964

LBJ Lies

The United States ramps up its
involvement in the Vietnam war
after President Lyndon Johnson
states on national television that
unprovoked attacks have been
made on U.S. ships in the Gulf of
Tonkin. The story makes national
headlines in both The New York
Times and The Washington Post,
though it’s later revealed that
some of LBJ’s remarks are false.

1975

Good Night, and Good Laughs

Chevy Chase hosts the first

installment of the “Weekend

Update” news parody, Saturday i
ight Live's longest-running і
recurring sketch.

IS OLD NEWS

1995

uu an дей

2016

s LIZ SUMAN & SAMANTHA SAIYAVONGSA

Fact Finders
David and Barbara Mikkelson
launch one of the world’s fi.
fact-checking webs

Tu Stultus Est
ty of Wisconsin students

s Johnson and Tim Keck found
The Onion. A few of i

аКеп for real over om continu
Kim Jong-Un Named
Man Alive

piracy Theorist
Armstrong Moon
ked” and “Harry

stori

Snope

the brigade of 60-plus similar
sites that have cropped up to
keep pace with the spread of
misinformation.

theyears:
The Onion.
for 201

Landing W
Potter Books Sp:
5: n Among Children."

1991

Jennings & Lenin

Оп АВС World News Tonight,

i Peter Jennings reports that
Soviet officials will auction
off Vladimir Lenin's body for

$15 million in a “desperate move

to raise foreign currency." The

source? A satirical piece ina
Forbes supplement. Other
} media outlets follow the false

| lead; Moscow is not amused.
1
4

Funny Fakers

Jon Stewart's late-night
comedy series The Daily Show
takes spoof news to a new level.
Ina “Bush vs. Bush" skit, a
mock split-screen broadcast
juxtaposes contradictory
foreign-policy comments made
by George W. Bush.

2003

MAY
Blue Bia
A former Facebook employ

claims in a Gizmodo report
that the curators of the social-
networking site’s “trending”
sidebar team shun posts with

conservative viewpoints.

NOVEMBER

Only the Pizza Is Real

Astory accusing Hillary Clinton
of running а child sex-trafficking

ring in the basement of a Wash-
ington, D.C. pizza parlor goes
viral—and continues into 2018.

DECEMBER

Truth Tactics

Facebook announces partnerships
with third-party fact-checking
organizations including the

Poynter Institute and Snopes.com
to combat “hoaxes and fake news."

2017

Tabloid Cloaking
Abusers of Google's AdSense plat-
form drop fake-news ads onto

the home pages of fact-checking
websites including Snopes.com
and PolitiFact. The clickbait, dis-
guised as news stories from publi-
cations such as Vogue and People,
tricks readers with such headlines
as WHY MELANIA IS| STAYING AT
THE WHITE HOU:

.
е

ае те

АВС News
and suspends journ
Ross for reporting that former
national security advisor Michael
Flynn agreed to testify that
Donald Trump had instructed

him to communicate with

Russian officials while Trump

illa candidate. (In fact,

Trump didn’t make the request +-
until he was president-elect.)
“More Networks and < h
should do the same with their
Fake New

wa

ре!

tweets Trump.

SEPTEMBER

Death ofa Fake Newsman

Paul Horner, prolific author of
fake news items, dies at the age of
38. Heclaimed he was the reason
Donald Trump was elected

and also defended his work as
“political satire.”

OCTOBER

Heavy Meddle

Google, Facebook and Twitter face
a Senate hearing after allowing
Kremlin-linked propagandists,

to flood their platforms with

false information designed to
help Donald Trump win the 2016
presidential election.

ILLUSTRATIONS BY DIEGO PATIÑO

TV

British cop drama Hard Sun leads a wave of new takes on the end of the world.
Spoiler alert: It's not as bad as it seems

Since ancient times, humans have lusted for
the ability to see the future. Our oracles and
prophets, and even some of our modern-day
psychics and star-gazers, are commonly char-
acterized as gifted, blessed, touched
byagreater power.

But what if knowing the future
turned out to really, really suck?

Certainly the idea that such seers might
have a steep price to pay stretches across world
cultures, from Cassandra of Greek myth to
Fiver in Watership Down. But the new “pre-
apocalyptic” drama Hard Sun, a BBC series de-
buting stateside on Hulu, puts a modern spin
on the clairvoyance curse that’s as shiny and

s STEVE
PALOPOLI

high-tech as it is archetypal. Two police de-
tectives, Elaine Renko and Charlie Hicks, are
investigating the death of a hacker when they
come into possession ofa flash drive at the cen-
ter of the case. As bodies pile up
around them, they realize what’s
on the drive: incontrovertible evi-
dence that the world is going to end
in five years, the planet engulfed in an unstop-
pable cosmic event.

Suddenly they have a choice to make: Do they
give in to the shadowy government forces that,
fearing global chaos, want to keep the informa-
tion from getting out at all costs? Or do they tell
the world, even though there’s nothing anyone

can do to alter their fiery fate? Already con-
stantly at odds with each other and now forced
into an impossible situation, they face galacti-
cally steep odds.

And yet the man who created these charac-
ters, showrunner Neil Cross, doesn’t feel bad
for them at all. Hell, Renko and Hicks have it
easy; Cross has to write this story—his third
television series after the similarly dark BBC
drama Luther and NBC's Crossbones—and
keep these characters motivated in the face of
extinction. How does he approach it?

*With fear and trepidation every morn-
ing,” says Cross. “I go to my computer fright-
ened and feeling that the task ahead of me is

insurmountable. But that's what makes me
work hard.

Besides, isn't what Hard Sun's main charac-
ters are facing just an extreme metaphor for
what the rest of us go through every day?

“The truth is that we all have our per-
sonal Armageddon heading for us like a train
through time,” says Cross. "We're all going to
die. We don’t know when—it could be in 15 min-
utes, it could be next Tuesday, it could be in 25
years. So the dilemma that Renko and Hicks
deal with, which is finding meaning and worth
and value in the face of ultimate destruction,
in fact is a choice we all make ev

Maybe that’s why apocalyptic stories never
go out of style. Far from making us worry about
the real end of the world, the best of them make
us feel as though there's no zombie takeover too

ry morning.”

ravenous, no denuded landscape too desolate,
no flamethrowing-guitar battalion of War Boys
too savage to snuff out the human will to live

“Survival is given in that
context—that's the thing,” says Cross. “Life is
something to fight for. I think all apocalyptic

dramas essentially are reassuring. They’re not
really about destruction.”

“People love to look at the apocalypse,”
Kate Harwood, executive producer of Hard
Sun, “in the way that we love to look at death—
because we think we s going to dodge it.
And in some ways it makes you feel very alive,

ays

doesn't it? I mean, if you know everybody's
going to die, you think, But it's a fiction. I'm
alive! Let's celebrate that! Let's live for today."

If the addition of the apocalypse to the
police-procedural genre makes Hard Sun an
offbeat offering, it's not alone; this r will
seea number of innovative takes on the escha-
tological epic.

One of the strangest postapocalyptic movies

in recent memory, 2013's Snowpiercer, is

get-

ting a television series on TNT that, according
to star Daveed Diggs, will delve further into the
culture and politics of the train that carries
the last surviving humans on a nonstop route
around the earth after the arrival of a man-
made Ice Age.

Robert Kirkman, creator of the original
comic incarnation of The Walking Dead, is
debuting a new title called Oblivion Song. It’s
set 10 years after a gigantic landmass from an
alternate dimension has suddenly material-
ized inan American city. With a legion of mon-
sters wiping out tens of thousands of people
anda wall finally being constructed to protect
survivors (in case you were starting to worry
these stories were devoid of direct parallels to

Opposite page and above: Jim Sturgess and Agyness Deyn play Hard Sun's haunted detectives.

our current political climate), Kirkman and
collaborator Lorenzo De Felici ask: How does

humanity recover from a catastrophic event it
cannot even comprehend?

Wildest of all might be the Peter Jackson-
produced Mortal Engines, coming later this
year. Set thousands of years after the apoca-
lypse, the film presents a future in which a mo-
torized London-on-wheels rolls through the
barren continents, devouring smaller mobile
burgs like an obese house cat hunting field mice.

These are probably not visions of the future
you'd want to foresee. Certainly the stars of
Hard Sun struggle with that dilemma: If the
world is indeed ending in five years, wouldn't

they be better off not knowing?

Jim Sturgess, who plays Hicks, says he imag-
ines that knowledge would give every element of
life, every tiny detail, a heightened importance.

“Everything matters; everything has a point
anda reason. There's a beauty in that, in a weird
way,” he says. “I would be disappointed if missed
that—ifit just hit me and I wasn’t prepared for it.
You can really see the beauty of the world we live
in when you know it's all going to disappear."

Agyness Deyn, who plays Renko, can even
imagine acertain acceptance: “I try to live with

no regrets. I would just want to be around nz
ture and family and friends. I think I'd be okay
with it, when it came to it, if everyone's going."

And really, isn’t all this end-of-the-world
hand-wringing just a lot of human vanity any-
way? Does our refusal to ever say die even mat-
ter, given that the universe existed long before
mankind and will continue long after? Cross
thought the same thing, until he had a conver-
sation with Brian Cox—scientific advisor on
Hard Sun and a physicist who has emerged as a
sort of British Neil deGrasse Tyson.

“Brian said he’s aware of a theory that, de-
spite the vastness of space, the number of co-
ry in order for complex life
to evolve on Earth are so extraordinary that
even given the scale of the universe, it might

incidences nece

have happened only once, and it might have
happened only here,” says Cross. “If that’s the
case, we are where meaning is. Meaning in the
universe is with us, and if we're gone, all mean-
ing disappears.”

So whether or not a molten comet is hurtling
toward us, whether or not we can ever learn our
species’ expiration date, you might consider
investinga little extra energy into making each
day count. No pressure. =

SWAN SONG

Scenes from the last prohibition-era cannabis competition in
California, where big weed is rising and growers are getting burnt

sy ZACH SOKOL рнотосирнев CARLOS CHAVARRÍA

filled with smoke for the
first leg of the eight-hour drive from Los An-
geles to Santa Rosa—home to the 2017 Ешег
ald Cup. The forbidding view on the way up
was the result of the now-historic Thomas
e, but at the Sonoma County Fairgrounds

a different sort of smoke would cloud both

The line wa.

the sky and the craniums of an estimated

30,000 attendees, all of whom had come to
celebrate northern California's finest sun-
grown marijuana.

A month before the indoor-outdoor fair-
grounds were converted into a cornucopia of
cannabis for the early-December weekend, a
reported 80-plus FEMA trailers dotted the
site, housing local victims who'd lost their
homes in another fire, which had hit right
around peak harvest season. Once the festival

sin full burn, visito! jum-
botron reading THANK YOU FIRST RESPONDERS!
Driving past the southern California wild-

м were greeted by

fires wasa fitting prelude to the Emerald Cup.
Not only had the Sonoma County fires
hilated an estimated 140,000 acres of land,
including a number of pot farms; they also
highlighted the many legal and economic
threats looming over the cannabis community

anni-

in the countdown to near-total legalization in
the Golden State. In this case, smoke signaled
much more than fire.

Just over 80 years after the Marihuana Tax
Act outlawed cannabis possession in the
eight states plus Washington, D.C. boa

st
legalized recreational cannabis use for adults
21 and older, and 29 states and the District

of Columbia hav pproved some form of
medical-marijuana program. The global mar-
ket for саппаЁ xpected to top $30 billion
ayear by nd industry research suggests
that California alone will see nearly $4 bil-
lion in legal sales in 2018. Meanwhile, a Gallup
Poll from October 2017 found that 64 percent
of Americans support legalization—the high-
est percentage in favor since the organiza-
tion began asking the public about the topic in
1969—and for the first time, a majority of Re-
publican respondents are onboard.

The mainstreaming of weed arrives hand
in hand with the so-called *green rush," char-
acterized by unfledged players and deep-
pocketed corporations betting on bud. Some
Silicon Valley execs are switching from tech

jobs to the weed game, while others, such as

former Facebook president Sean Parker, have
been quietly funneling millions into pro-
legalization lobbying efforts. Alcohol mono-
liths Constellation Brands, Anheuser-Busch
and others are investing in the space and even
considering branding their own pot products.

But it isn't all smiley faces and peace signs.
As legalization spreads and the green rush
builds, mom-and-pop businesses face an ex-
istential threat. Due to California's new regu-
lations for the adult-use market—plus federal
restrictions that prevent safeguards and re-
course against a myriad of vulnerabilities,
wildfires included—the craft farmers who ac-
tually produce the crop are the most likely to
get burned in the shift out of prohibition.

There is perhaps no better place to ob-

serve this end of an era than the folksy but
increasingly Coachella-fied atmosphere of
the Emerald Cup. At the 2017 event, people
from all facets of the weed world were ask-
ing what will happen when their culture
moves from outside the law to inside and if
it will be recognizable by the end.
Cups showcase and judge the best mari-
juana, in all its consumable forms, from
across the globe. They typically include
expert lecturers and top 420-friendly tal-
ent, debut new innovations and brands,
and offer aspiring cannabis entrepre-
neurs a platform to promote themselves to
the industry and the public. Some events,
such as the High Times Cannabis Cup,
which started in Amsterdam in 1988 and
has since expanded to several U.S. cities as
well as Jamaica and Spain, function like a
hybrid between a trade show and a big-box
music festival.

The Emerald Cup, for its part, is so re-

spected by the inner cannabis community
that other competitions seem like shake
fests in comparison. Founder Tim Blake,
à 60-year-old northern California native and
self-described “old-school outlaw dealer,”
launched the event in 2003. The inaugural cup
was held deep inside the Emerald Triangle:
Mendocino, Humboldt and Trinity counties,
the marijuana mecca known for producing the
most cannabis in the U.S. Blake decked out the
site with big altars and old couches for the few
hundred people who came.

Back then, he says, the Emerald Cup was more
a "celebration, a wild party and a friendly com-
petition” among the couple dozen growers who
entered their flowers to be judged by other re-
gional cultivators. There were no vendors and
few outsiders. “A lot of people came in masks;
everyone was afraid we were going to get busted.”

The organizers still aim to maintain the
down-home feel that defined the competition in
its salad days, but Blake concedes that the 2017
festival was a “whole different thing.” For one,
he partnered with music-and-event behemoth
Red Light Management to produce it; hence
performances by the Roots and Portugal. The
Man. Tickets sold out, and Blake says his team
received at least 2,000 applications for vendor
booths. And with more than 500 entrants for
the flower competition alone, it became clear
thata newera was blooming, for better or worse.
Even outside the gates, the atmosphere was
heady enough to spark a contact high. In the
parking lot, dreaded white dudes scalped

Swami Select founders Nikki Lastreto and Swami Chaitanya.

tickets or hawked bootleg shatter. A passerby
handed mea copy of the Hare Krishna tome Be-
yond Birth and Death. A barefoot man stood
in front of the entrance queue, asking people
to sign up for a psychedelic-mushroom advo-
cacy initiative. Most were smoking joints be-
fore they had even passed security.

Once inside, attendees found hundreds of
booths set up in hangar-size tents and walk-
ways lined with customized stalls. The aes-
thetic skewed toward either a rustic vibe, with
repurposed wood and eco-friendly materi-
als, or gaudy getups staffed by packs of men in
flat-brim hats, ever ready to ignite a blowtorch
and offer a dab hit. І sampled everything from
experimental cannabinoid extracts to THC-

infused salsa. There were even trained guard
dogs for sale, fetching as much as $45,000.
(The feds restrict medical-marijuana card-
holders from owning guns, despite the Emer-
ald Triangle's high rate of violent crime. Guard
dogs are one form of legal protection.)

I'd never seen so much pot—or so many
cash transactions—en plein air, and numer-
ous booths sported signs proclaiming POUNDS
AVAILABLE. Clearly some of these businesses
wanted to move weight and cash in before adult-
use legalization and its new rules went into ef-
fect. By late afternoon, many of the ATMs
scattered throughout the grounds were empty,
which served as another reminder: Banks are
hesitant to work with the cannabis industry, so

buying and selling product is a cash-only af-
fair. Once the sun went down, it was weird if
your wallet wasn't empty—and you weren't
the highest you'd ever been in public.

After hours of mingling with dab bros, New
Agey types, Cliven Bundy individualists
and northern California lifers who started
harvesting herb during the back-to-the-
land movement of the 1960s and 1970s, I
made my way to the Swami Select booth, run
by established growers Nikki Lastreto and
Swami Chaitanya. [Editor's note: The au-
thor has worked with Swami Select on a col-
umn for the weed-focused web outlet Merry
Jane.] The couple has lived in Mendocino
County since the late 1990s, and they’ve
been judges at the Emerald Cup every year
since its inception. That day, Chaitanya se-
renely rolled a cigar-size joint packed with
their homegrown Durban Sherbet; his long
white beard hung dangerously close to the
ground-up weed as he explained the process
of in vivo marijuana judging. Later, over
several phone calls, Lastreto describes the
overwhelming feeling at the cup as “fear of
the loss of our community.”

“We've always worked closely together, but
right now it’s dividing up in a certain way,”
Lastreto says. We're talking about the raft of
“emergency” regulations the state govern-
ment passed in November 2017—a move that
left growers with a pathetically small window
if they wished to be fully compliant by January.
The result: a dichotomy forming between “the
people who have the permit and the people who
don’t have the permit,” she says.

“Now that we're in the mainstream market,
you know how this world works," echoes Tim
Blake. “There's only going to be so many Apples
orIBMs." Like everyone else I spoke with, Blake
believes the farmers who stalled on building
a brand and going legit will be the first to get

42

boxed out. The impending competition, com-
bined with both federal and state regulations—
which are often at odds with one another—will
“signal an end to the real outlaw, black-market
culture up here over the next few years,” Blake
says. Most of these small operations are used
to working outside the law, but if legal pres-
sures force them to stay there, they have a slim
chance of survival.

Blake was hesitant to vote for Proposition 64,
also known as the Adult Use of Marijuana Act,
but supported the ballot measure in hopes that
the state “would actually do an orderly rollout
and not wipe out small farmers.” Now that it’s
here, he must embrace the idea that the cannabis
industry will “become part of every mainstream
society we have in this country and this
world.” Plus, he knows it will mean “huge,
huge business. Imagine what it's going to be.”
Tobe fully compliant with California’s legal-
ization regulations, growers need to apply
for the appropriate licenses and adhere toa
number of stipulations that could be at odds
with how they run their farms. Insiders pre-
dict that only a fraction of the entire grower
population will receive licenses in 2018 and
that the new rules could put moneyed opera-
tions at an advantage, allowing Big Weed to
swallow the craft farmer whole.

For example, the California Department
of Food and Agriculture did not set a cap on
the total acreage a single grower, or licensee,
can have, nor did it limit the number of
small-farm licenses that a single entity can
hold. “Marlboro can go put up a thousand-
fucking-acre grow if they want to,” says
Chris Anderson, founder of Redwood Roots,
asouthern Humboldt County-based collec-
tive of 37 farms that prides itself on being
a multigeneration-farmer “family.” (At the
cup, its booth featured а glass jar with three
forearm-size buds jutting out of it.)

Local jurisdictions can implement limits
on grow operations, but the lack ofa statewide
mandate gives well-funded farmers (and corpo-
rations) an implicit leg up—especially when the
price per pound drops, as it has in recent years,
in response to greater supply than demand. Not
to mention the new expenses legitimized farms
will have to bear, such as required track-and-
trace systems and annual operating-license
fees that can range from three to six figures.

"It's double fucking us—it's triple fuck-
ing из,” says Anderson of the convoluted and
ethically murky state regulations. The com-
bination of bureaucratic intransigence and
corporate privilege could quickly lead to big
business “intentionally trying to starve out the

small craft cannabis farmer, which is the whole
reason this industry even exists anyway.”

Plus, even though California has gone green,
there’s still the federal government to deal
with. In early 2018, Attorney General Jeff Ses-
sions revoked the Cole Memo, an Obama-era
federal policy of noninterference in states that
have legalized adult-use cannabis. Now prose-
cutors can more freely enforce federal law on
the weed industry, even here.

Federal restrictions have already made things
difficult for canna-businesses. On top of bank-
ing roadblocks, insurance options are all but
ent—a big problem when your liveli
hood could literally go up in smoke with the next
wildfire—and the federal tax code prevents pot-

He wasn't the only cup attendee wearing a two-piece weed suit.

related companies from claiming credits and
deductions on their income, resulting in astro-
nomical tax rates. And if canna-businesses do
face financial ruin, the feds prevent them from
declaring bankruptcy. To a multigeneration
grower who has been operating outside the law
forever, it feels as though there's no winning.

While everyone at the cup wondered who would
survive the next calendar year, some see hope
in the burgeoning connoisseur’s market. Com-
parisons to the wine industry abound. “It used
to be for 100 bucks you could get a good bottle
of wine,” Blake says. “Now for 20 bucks youcan
get a $100 bottle of wine.” He adds, "It's going
to be the same with cannabis. As long as you

make a great flower, you won't get big bucks,
but you'll still have a real good market for it."

No one is worried about Brandon Scott
Parker, a third-generation grower, fourth-
generation Mendocino native and undeni-
able pot prodigy. Parker has won top awards
at the Emerald Cup the past five years, allow-
ing him to position his business in a way that
all but guarantees longevity. His company,
Third Gen/Dying Breed Seeds, has leveraged
its story—premium, single sourced, family
farmed—and consumers go out of their way to
try his “Holy Grail” strains.

Although there's no established appellation
system for cannabis as there is for, say, Cham-
pagne, that could change through the efforts

ofthe Mendocino Appellations Project and
other groups. If the industry does adopt
official titles that define a strain's terroir
andagricultural heritage, as well as its cul-
tivation requirements, small-scale farm-
ers could potentially protect themselves
through their botanical intellectual prop-
erty, orat least make themselves stand out
inthe marketplace.

Until then, says Parker, it comes down to
the consumer. Only an educated toker has
the power to bolster the connoisseur's mar-
ket and distinguish it from mass-produced
weed. Andonce you go from Two Buck Chuck
to Diamond Creek, it's hard to turn back.

But not everyone is a marijuana maestro,
so Parker outlines other ways small opera-

can get through the first year in Cal-
ifornia's legal market—assuming they're
willing to go legit. Like other top growers
I interviewed, he suggests diversifying
product lines, forming strategic partner-
ships with trustworthy green rushers and
upping the ante on packaging and labeling.
Still, he “not eve: ne is going to be

tor

left after the battle is over.”
The Emerald Cup will almost certainly

stick around, and Blake thinks it will be even
bigger, but many of the boutique businesses I
met—whose sublime herb melted my face off—
won't. The regulations might even prevent all
but licensed retailers such as dispensaries from
selling product at future competitions. Would
it even be the Emerald Cup if you couldn't sesh
with the growers themselves?

Nothing is set in stone, and it’s unlikely
that the multigenerational farmers will give
up their way of life without a fight. “Canna-
bis farmers are very good at improvising, and
they're resilient people,” Chris Anderson of
Redwood Roots says. "We will always find a way,
no matter what. That's who we are, that's what
we are, and that's who we'll always be." п

a

13

This way to the after party

moods of norway moodsofnorway.com

Y

JOHN

PLAVBOY
INTERVIEW:

KRASINSKI

Acandid conversation with America’s favorite office drone on how he outlived his defining role
and ended up directing himself (and his wife) in a stylish and highly allegorical horror film

In the fall of 2003 ear-old John Krasin-
ski called his mother back home in Newton,
Massachusetts and told her he was sticking to
their deal: He was quitting. Upon graduating
from Brown University with a degree in Eng-
lish, he set off for New York City to be an actor.
His parents had been supportive. They always
were to their three boys, of whom John was the
youngest (and, at six-foot-three, the shortest).
He'd already lived in New York a few summers
earlier when he interned for Late Night With
Conan O'Brien. But if he didn't have some de-
cent prospects after three years, his mom had
said, he should rethink things. Well, almost
three years had passed, and what did Krasinski
have to show for it? An of f-off-Broadway play,
a walk-on part on an episode of Law & Order:
Criminal Intent, a failed TV pilot. Sure, he'd
done a commercial for DeWalt power tools with

“The moment I got The Office, I asked my
business manager how much money I had,
and I offered that exact amount to David Fos-
ter Wallace's agent.”

NASCAR driver Matt Kenseth, but he still had
to wait tables, one of the thousands of anony-
mous actors hustling to survive the slaughter-
house of small-town dreams that is Manhattan.
Nope, he told his mom, he was done. “At least
ride out the year,” she said. Three weeks later,
Krasinski got a call to audition for another TV
pilot: a remake of a pseudo-documentary Brit-
ish comedy series.

The Office would run on NBC for nine sea-
sons, receive more than 40 Emmy nominations
and make Krasinski a star. (It would do the
same for his Newton South High School class-
mate B.J. Novak.) His character, Scranton,
Pennsylvania paper salesman Jim Halpert, is
a refreshing outlier among the angst-ridden,
id-fueled male TV characters so celebrated
at the time: the Tony Sopranos and Walter
Whites and Don Drapers. A nice, relatable guy.

“This is a much bigger movement than just
sexual harassment. Sexual harassment is the
by-product of a system that failed women a
long time ago.”

PHOTOGRAPHY BY JAKE CHESSUM

Krasinski would be similarly cast in his early
film roles, including the comedies License to
Wed with Robin Williams, Leatherheads with
George Clooney and It’s Complicated with
Alec Baldwin and Meryl Streep. Yet like Jim
Halpert, Krasinski was more complex than he
seemed and eager to challenge himself, and in
the following years he avoided the pigeonholed
fate that befalls so many actors who play be-
loved television characters. He adapted and
directed a film version of the David Foster
Wallace book Brief Interviews With Hideous
Men, got ripped to play a military contractor
in Michael Bay’s controversial Benghazi film
13 Hours, worked with acclaimed directors
Sam Mendes and Cameron Crowe, starred in
and co-wrote with Matt Damon the fracking
thriller Promised Land, and directed a second
feature, The Hollars, with a cast that includes

“The fans saved us. I remember walking
through New York and some guy was like, ‘Hey,
man, you're on my iPod.’ I was like, ‘First off,
what's an iPod?' "

Anna Kendrick, Richard Jenkins and Mary
Elizabeth Winstead.

Krasinski's career has become one of the most
enjoyably unpredictable in modern Hollywood,
and this year that capriciousness continues with
two very different projects: He’s reprising Tom
Clancy's famous CIA agent Jack Ryan in an Am-
azon series of the same name, and co-writing,
directing and starring in A Quiet Place, a hor-
ror film about a family who must live in silence
lest they arouse a monstrous entity. His wife in
the film is portrayed by his real-life spouse of
eight years, actress Emily Blunt, with whom he
hastwo children, both girls. It marks their first
time working together.

Krasinski, now 38, took a break from editing
A Quiet Place to speak with PLAYBOY contributor
and Simon & Schuster senior editor Sean Man-
ning on the West Side of Manhattan. *I'd read
several interviews in which he referred to him-
self as ‘winning the lottery," Man-
ning says, “and he was just as humble
and self-effacing in person. Appar-
ently he'd fucked up his leg shooting
an action scene for Jack Ryan, but
he never grimaced or expressed dis-
comfort. I didn’t know about the in-
jury till the end of our session, when
he got up and I noticed his limp. But
there’s more: Our conversation kept
turning to moments when he had op-
erated ‘purely on emotion,’ whether he
was directing his first feature or res-
cuing a complete stranger from a rip-
tide. Beneath the affable exterior lies
a deeply instinctual mind—one that
defaults to bravery and human kind-
ness when things get scary. Fitting,
then, that the whole thing should start
with horror.”

PLAYBOY: You'd talked for some

time about doing a project with your

wife. You always said it would probably be a play.
Instead, here you are doing a horror movie to-
gether. How the hell did that happen?

KRASINSKI: You know, we didn’t want the
story of our marriage to supersede the story
of the movie, and that can easily happen. So I
think, on first look, we thought doing a play to-
gether would keep it contained and about some-
thing that was once in a lifetime. Then I got the
part for Jack Ryan, and the producers on that
film, who are Michael Bay’s producers, asked,
“Would you ever be in a genre film?” I told
them, “The hook would have to be something
interesting. I don’t want to just run around and
get butchered.” And they said, “Well, there’s
this really cool spec script that we got.” We'd
just had our second daughter and, you know,
I'm a super sensitive, emotional person, so I
thinkIwas probably wide-open when I read the
script. The idea really triggered something in-
side me about protection and parenting, and I
justthought maybe I could make it a metaphor

Y

for parenthood: the fact that no matter what,
there will comea time when you don't have con-
trolover what your kids do, what they say, what
theythink, and you just hope that the prepara-
tion was enough to get them through and they
survive. There was something so beautiful
about putting a family in a situation where—
without giving too much away, this is the one
family in the world that needs to talk and can't.
They're going through something they should
really be talking about with each other and a
therapist, and they can’t. We not only thought
the story was so unique and different that there
was no way our marriage could supersede it, but
that, weirdly, our marriage fit right in.
PLAYBOY: Were you a fan of horror movies
growing up?

KRASINSKI: The complete opposite. I remem-
ber once, I want to say I was eight, and my broth-
ers and I were all hanging out at the house of

Wherever you

stand politically,

I don’t think

“Make America
Great Again” is
supposed to be up
to our politicians.

this neighborhood kid who'd gotten his hands
on A Nightmare on Elm Street. I was debating
how to get out of there, and my oldest brother
said, “John’s too young. I'm going to take him
home." When we got back home, my brother
was like, *I didn't want to see that either." He
was terrified too, and he used me as an out!
Ever since then, I've felt much more comfort-
able just saying I can’t watch that. That's not to
say I don't love the more classic genre movies.
Jaws is one of my favorites. And Let the Right
One In is one of the best movies I’ve seen—the
original. So I can do it. There's just a threshold
that I can’t cross.

PLAYBOY: It seems in the past few years we've
seen a real renaissance for horror movies that
also function as societal commentary. There
was It Follows and slut shaming, Green Room
and white supremacy, and of course Get Out—
KRASINSKI: Yeah, Get Out and Don’t Breathe
and all that stuff. I saw all those movies when
I was researching for A Quiet Place. They're

16

much more elevated and say so much more
than just “Where do you put the camera to
scare the person the most?"
PLAYBOY: You just said A Quiet Placeis a met-
aphor for parenthood, but I wonder if you might
also be making a statement about how deadly
silence can be, how you can't be quiet and say
nothing and hope the monster goes away; you
haveto speak out and confront the thing.
KRASINSKI: That's exactly it. I think in our
political situation, that's what's going on now:
You can close your eyes and stick your head in
the sand, or you can try to participate in what-
ever's going on. I think that's what Jaws was
for me. That character was scared to be a cop
in New York, so he ran away from his fears to
an island. The one thing he never wanted was a
scary situation, and it's now surrounding him.
That's kind of where I was coming from.
PLAYBOY: So then, shifting to politics—
KRASINSKI: Oh God.
PLAYBOY: In Trump's comments
about shithole countries, one of
those he cited was El Salvador. Just
before you went to college, you spent
a few months teaching English in
Central America, in Costa Ric
What was that experience like for
you and what was your reaction to
what the president said?
KRASINSKI: That experience
changed my life completely. I was 17
years old. I'd graduated early from
high school because of my birth date
and had gotten into Brown mid-
year, so I had to go six months later,
in January. And I decided to go down
to Costa Rica. My dad didn't tell me
until I got back that he and my mom
were terrified I was going. The fam-
ily I stayed with forced me to speak
only Spanish, so it was anything
but a cool, pura vida Costa Rica ex-
perience. I went there to teach English at a
Spanish-speaking school. I was volunteering,
but they literally didn’t have enough work for
me to do, so they very politely fired me and I
had to scramble to get a new job. I ended up
at an English-speaking high school, teaching
seniors all the stuff I'd just learned. I asked
my mom to send down my books from school,
Romeo and Juliet, The Canterbury Tales and
all that stuff. I was teaching from the notes in
the margins of my books. Inever told them how
old I was. They would ask, “How old are you?”
and I was like, “How old do you think I am?”
They would say, “Twenty-seven?” and I was
like, “Perfect.” But all these things were hap-
pening when I was 17 years old.

I also traveled by myself. One of the places
I went was this amazing beach called Manuel
Antonio that I didn’t realize had an insane rip-
tide. While I was swimming there—this is a
story I've never told anybody—this Costa Rican
girlandan American guy wereswimming right

next to me, and we were knee-deep. I went
underwater for a second, and when I came back
up he was screaming at the top of his lungs.
Literally in three seconds the girl had been
swept 150 yards out.

PLAYBOY: Holy shit.

KRASINSKI: My mom was a lifeguard and
taught us to swim very early. In that moment,
I didn't ask anyone. There was no one to help
me. I just went out and tried to save her. And
then of course when I got out there, I was in a
crosscurrent with her. It was one of those mo-
ments of “Oh my God, you just made a poor
choice and it might cost you
your life." But I didn't think
about it like that. It was just
this survival instinct. It was
really weird—like the girl
was asking me to let her die.
But I got her back. When I got
within 20 yards or so of the
shore, some surfers came out.
Granted, not everybody needs
to have life-or-death experi-
ences, but that changed my
entire life. All of a sudden I
grew up.

When I got to Brown, I re-
member kids calling their par-
ents and saying, “1 miss home"
and "I'm lonely," which I totally
get, but I was so far beyond that.
Whereas college should have
been my defining moment,
Costa Rica was. Itjust ripped all
the protective layers apart and
allowed me to get hurt. And you
know, not to keep circling back
to A Quiet Place, but there is
something about that—at some
point you have to let your kids
get hurt. That’s very palpable in
my life right now with my girls.
Thope I’m brave enough to be as
good as my parents were.
PLAYBOY: I think traveling is
one ofthe most important things
anyone can do. From afar, any-
thing looks scary, but then you
get there and it’s like, “Oh shit,
Thad по clue.”

KRASINSKI: Absolutely. And to me, what was
overwhelming and a religious or spiritual mo-
ment in my life was seeing joy in abject pov-
erty. Seeing true happiness, not just survival.
You know, we look at it from the outside and
say, “My God, these people are living on dirt
floors.” And they have more joy than a lot of
people I know. I was moved at the power of what
was able to be achieved in the category of hap-
piness with nothing.

PLAYBOY: Different priorities.

KRASINSKI: So different—things like family
and a lot of the ideals that I know we still have
in America. In my opinion, the whole idea of

¥

making America great again is so much more
on us than anybody else. Wherever you stand
politically, I don’t think “Make America Great
Again” is supposed to be up to our politicians. It
needs to be onus. You go down there and realize
they’re making their country great by living
every single day.

PLAYBOY: I covered the 2016 Republican Na-
tional Convention for Playboy.com, and I was in
Quicken Loans Arena the night two of the con-
tractors who survived Benghazi, Mark Geist
and John Tiegen, gave a speech. Marco Rubio
and Ted Cruz were also referencing 13 Hours

on the campaign trail, and Trump rented out
a theater in Iowa to screen it for free. After all
that and then the outcome of the election, did
you have any misgivings about doing the film?
KRASINSKI: I didn't have any misgivings; I
had real sadness. I felt maybe the system had
done those men a disservice, because this was
going to be such an awesome awakening for
people to get to hear the true story. Who the
hell knows that story? I didn't know anything
about Benghazi. You know, it was a word in a
headline, which I think put me among the large
majority of people who thought they knew what
Benghazi was but had absolutely no clue. There
were no politics that night. That was a situation

47

where someone was in trouble, and these guys—
sure, they were contractors in that moment, but
they had long ago given their oaths to the mili-
tary. They have to help that person. We have de-
leted that part of the story from the narrative.
You take out the idea of these six men going in
and trying to do things that we can't compre-
hend. You take that out and you go, "Yeah, that
was amazing—but look how horrible all this po-
litical stuff is from the fallout." The reason I
did the movie is because I felt that was wrong.
Ifelt it was wrong to have any political conver-
sation. It was purely about telling the story of
these men I looked up to and
stilllook up to.

You know, I grew up in a big
military family. That was al-
ways really important to me.
Ithink, to be honest, it may
be one of the most important.
movies I've done or experi-
ences I've ever had in my ca-
reer. I remember а woman
came up to me and said,
"Thank you for making that
movie. That was about my hus-
band." I said, *Oh, where was
your husband? Was he CIA, or

газ he in Benghazi?" And she

said, “No, he died in Iraq 12
years ago, but that's his story
too." Again, I'm very sensi-
tive, soT'll tear up just talking
about it, but that stuff changes
your life. We knew it was a hot-
button issue while we were
shootingit. Wecertainly knew
it was a hot-button issue as
the campaigns fired up. And
I think it was actually just
before opening when Trump
rented out the theater. This
has nothing to do with poli-
tics. This has something to
do with the universality of the
idea that the military should
never be politicized. This is a
universal thing we should all
get behind no matter who you
are, because you are living in
the country these people allowed you to live in.
Literally, they've allowed you to live here be-
cause of what they did. So that is why I was so
bummed—not because of any specific politi-
cal reason but more because we knew that was
going to change the narrative of our movie.
PLAYBOY: With Jack Ryan, you're once again
in the world of the military and the CIA. I as-
sume that when you researched for the part you
talked to people in that sphere. Did you get a.
sense of how they're feeling within the current
administration?

KRASINSKI: We went to the CIA to have
our first meeting the same week Trump
was bashing the CIA and saying it’s—I’m

paraphrasing—sort of null and void and we
don't need them and they're a bunch of jok-
ers. So that certainly wasn’t a great vibe. But I
don't think anybody in the CIA would tell you
they'rea Democrat or a Republican. I'm surea
whole lot of people at the CIA are Republicans,
and I’m sure a whole lot of people at the CIA
are Democrats. I think they'd tell you there's
no politics in that building. And they basically
said as much: that they have dedicated their
lives to saving other people, to trying to thwart
bad things.

PLAYBOY: Tom Clancy created the Jack Ryan
franchise, but you seem to have more literary
tastes. You've worked with the novelist Dave
Eggers on Away We Go and Promised Land,
and you adapted and directed David Foster
Wallace's novel Brief Interviews With Hideous
Men. How did you end up doing that project?
KRASINSKI: That's a really interesting story.
Readingthat book was the moment I
realized what acting really was.
PLAYBOY: How old were you when
you read it?

KRASINSKI: I was in college. I went
to Brown thinking I was going to be
an English teacher. I even had very
foggy ideas of playing basketball
there. When I got there and realized
I wouldn't play basketball because I
wasn't good enough and it wasn't a
life I wanted to dedicate myself to,
I had no idea what to do. I was bi-
zarrely shy, and I joined this sketch-
comedy group because I loved
Saturday Night Live and wanted
to be a part of the community. At
that point, the smartest, most free-
thinking, open, engaging, interest-
ing people were in theater. Chris
Hayes, who's on MSNBC now, was
а director at Brown back then, and
he came up to me one day and said,
"Listen, I'm going to do this thing called Brief
Interviews. It's interviews with guys. Would
you do one?" And I said, *Yeah, absolutely, no
problem." I was so insecure at the time that I
was thrilled to be chosen; it was still that thing
of being picked for the team. I think we were
supposed to do only one or maybe two nights,
and I would say maybe 90 to 100 people could
fitintheroom where we were doing it. Two hun-
dred and fifty people showed up and about 200
of them got turned away. I remember walking
through campus and a teacher came up to me
and said, "That was one of the greatest things
I've ever seen at the student theater." And an-
other teacher, on the exact same day, said, "I
thought that was offensive and grotesque."
Getting someone to react is powerful; that was
the first example for me. You could make an im-
pact. You could change people's lives. I mean,
people in the audience were crying. They'd
gone through very specific things that we were
talking about, which if you know the book, you

Y

know there's some really dark stuff in there.
And to have people connect to that dark stuff,
that changed my whole outlook.

The moment I got The Office, I asked my
business manager how much money I had, and
I offered that exact amount to David Foster
Wallace's agent. I remember very clearly she
said no. And I said, *Can I come out and talk to
you about it?" So I flew out to Los Angeles and
talked to her about it.

PLAYBOY: Damn, how ballsy and—

KRASINSKI: Stupid. [laughs] I think it gets
back to that whole Costa Rica thing. I just
didn't understand why you wouldn't do it. Be-
cause if I don't do it, then no one else is going
to do it. So it was ignorance. Directing it was
the exact same thing. I was looking for a direc-
tor forever, and it was Rainn Wilson who said,
“You should direct it." So I went and directed
it, and it was like walking through a minefield

Iwent

underwater for

a second, and
when I came

back up he was
screaming at the
top of his lungs.

that you have no idea is a minefield. At the end,
Iremember my director of photography said,
"Congratulations, that was really good." And
I said, *Yeah, it was fun. It was easy." And he
was like, “It was anything but easy," and then
showed me all the things that could have gone
wrong. I was going purely on emotion.
PLAYBOY: Did you ever meet Wallace? Did
he offer you any suggestions on adapting the
book? And did he get to see any of the footage
before he died?

KRASINSKI: I spoke to David only once, on
the phone. I was nervous as hell. Then I was
blown away by how incredibly gentle he was. So
kind. So generous. We discussed his discomfort
with having any of his work made into a movie.
He said something to the effect that he writes
books with the understanding that once they're
published, that's it. That is their life. It felt
strange to him to have something he thought
he was done with taken to a new medium.
And I got that. That said, he was incredibly

a8

supportive and generous about my making
the movie. I remember he said he wasn't sure
if he wanted to hear about the screenplay and
what I had done to the story. And then he said
helet temptation get the best of him and asked
me to tell him. I did. He was very kind about
it. He remembered one of our writers on The
Office—the great Mike Schur, who had invited
him to Harvard for an award while Mike was a
student there. I remember asking David if he
would ever like to come visit Mike and me on
set. He asked me where we shot. When I told
him the studio was in Van Nuys, a ways from
where he taught, at Pomona, he simply replied,
“No, that's okay. I'm not a big fan of driving." I
always loved that. Sadly, he passed during the
sound mix of the movie, only weeks before we
went to Sundance, and never saw a frame.
PLAYBOY: The common perception of artists
is that they're these existentially tormented,
emotionally fragile people. In his
Playboy Interview, Jon Hamm, who
lost both his parents by the time he
was 20 years old, said, "I think any-
body who chooses any kind of career
in the arts...comes from a place of
being a little bit unmoored. If I had
grown up in a two-parent household
and had parents telling me what to
do, I’m sure their first piece of ad-
vice would not have been ‘You should
bean actor. You should move to L.A.
with no money. That sounds like the
best plan.” And yet that's pretty
much what happened with you.
KRASINSKI: Yeah, exactly.
PLAYBOY: So do you not have any
demons?

KRASINSKI: Oh, I'm sure I have
demons, and I'm sure I have dark-
nesses and insecurities and all
those things. Absolutely. I'm lucky
enough to be surrounded by incred-
ible friends and family who keep me on track
and don't let me spin out into my own universe
for too long—namely, and most important, my
wife. I think my wife gets me. Not just to sound
adorable, but the truth is she gets me more
than anyone else has ever gotten me. And so
she allows me to, for lack of a better term, bot-
tom out for a second and get really scared. Like
right now in the editing process, some stuff
works amazing and some stuff doesn't. And
when it doesn't, I get really nervous, like, “Will
Iever get to this place?" And she says, "Yeah,
just keep at it. One step at a time." But to Jon
Нап” quote, I totally understand that I'm
an anomaly, but I'm completely unmoored in
the artistic sense. I wasn't trained. One of my
dear friends, Billy Crudup, went to New York
University, arguably one ofthe best schools you
can go to for acting, and he came out and com-
pletely dominated everything he did. I just saw
himinthisone-man show, and itblew my mind
to watch this guy do hairpin turns between

drama and comedy and timing and 11 differ-
ent characters. I guarantee you, if you gave me
64 years, I could never do that. So maybe I'm
wrong. Maybe there is something about having
all that training. But I feel lucky that I wasn't
trained. Sam Mendes said, “Ilove working with
уоп аз an actor, because I've never worked with
someone who runs 150 miles an hour at a wall
when I tell them to, and when you hit it and I
was wrong, you turn around and I give you an-
other wall, and you run 150 miles an hour into
that wall too."

Оп 13 Hours, I teared up almost every day оп
set. I felt I was a part of something. I felt I was
in a moment of incredible power, rather than
“Okay, this is great and I love talking to Navy
SEALs, but I've got to go in this dark corner and
light a candle, and I've got to ‘red leather, yel-
low leather.’” I also know that about my wife.
My wife didn’t train. There's something unbri-
dled about her that feels really organic, and it’s
what makes her such a powerful actress.
PLAYBOY: Was it surreal when you first
started dating? By that point she'd already
been in a bunch of films, including The Devil
Wears Prada, and had won a Golden Globe.
KRASINSKI: Yeah, when we first started dat-
ing, that was weird. I remember she'd done this
Vanity Fair cover with Amy Adams, Jessica
Biel and a couple of other people—“young up-
and-coming hot Hollywood" or whatever—and
that issue was in my living room when we first
started dating. I don't think she had Boston
magazine with me on the front wearing Celt-
ics, Red Sox and Bruins stuff. I don't think she
had that in her living room.

PLAYBOY: She had your Matt Kenseth com-
mercial queued up.

KRASINSKI: Yeah, exactly. I was definitely
aware of it, probably in a way that could have
been extremely unhealthy if it wasn't for how
insanely down-to-earth she was. I remember
being at my house and saying to her, "So I just
want to have this really honest conversation.
I think you're one of the best act —" I didn't
even get out “actress.” She went, “No, no, no,
no!" Very loud. We didn't have that conversa-
tion again for a really long time, and it saved
our relationship. We got to have a very re-
moved existence, because we just looked at it
as though we were two people who had fallen
in love, rather than two Hollywood celebrities
who'd met each other. I remember people say-
ing, “Wow, for Hollywood you guys have been
together forever.” And I was like, “What does
that mean?" I mean, I would say nine years is
average for most people. I'm a son of two people
who have been married for—man, is it going to
be 45 years this year?

PLAYBOY: Okay, so that leads us to the sex
questions. This being PLAYBOY, you knew they
were coming.

KRASINSKI: Sex questions. I'm terrible at
these, but let's do it. Here comes the mask.

Y

PLAYBOY: You've said in previous inter-
views that you weren't much of a ladies’ man
in high school.

KRASINSKI: Yep. I wanted to be.

PLAYBOY: You said that you would adore girls
from afar and they would justend up asking you
to sign their yearbook.

KRASINSKI: Yep.

PLAYBOY: But B.J. Novak once told PLAYBOY,
“John was popular and smart, and if he liked a
girl, he would just ask her out."

KRASINSKI: That is completely false.
PLAYBOY: Whois telling the truth here?
KRASINSKI: Hey, listen, I will take his lens
over mine any day. I don't think I dated any-
one in high school, to be honest. I think dating
for me was something I was so nervous to do.
Thad a nerdy version of relationships. I really
wanted to be married from a young age, be-
cause my parents were really happily married
and that seemed really cool: having a partner,
having a best friend. The idea of one-night
stands felt much less cool to me and much
more rife with anxiety.

PLAYBOY: Did youget any scandalous fan mail
while you were on The Office? Were there Jim
Halpert groupies?

KRASINSKI: Girls were really nervous to meet
me because they felt they had gone through a
relationship with me. You know, everybody
says, “Well, you’re in their home. That’s the
difference with television." I remember roll-
ing my eyes at that. But then when I was doing
Leatherheads with George Clooney, he said,
“No, it's a real thing. If I walked down a street
and Brad Pitt walked down a street, they would.
pointand go, ‘Oh my God, that's Brad Pitt.’ And
thenoneofthem would run up and punch me in
the arm and go, ‘Dr. Ross!’ " Because they know
youand they've had their own relationship with
you. So that's what I experienced. But as much
of that as you get from girls, more of it's from
the dudes. A lot of dudes just want to buy you a
beer, which I'll take any day.

PLAYBOY: Whenever people talk about the
golden age of TV in the 2000s, they’re always
quick to mention Mad Men, Breaking Bad,
The Wire—

KRASINSKI: The Office.

PLAYBOY: Well, that was my question.
KRASINSKI: Come on, man, The Office was
fourth? Jesus.

PLAYBOY: When people talk about this sort of
golden age, The Sopranos—

KRASINSKI: I remember being a waiter at
Sushisamba, down on Seventh Avenue. I was
a waiter everywhere. I think I was fired from
nine jobs, because as soon as you go for an au-
dition, they say, “If you walk out this door,
don't ever come back." And I'd say okay. But
at Sushisamba, I remember Sunday nights
up until 8:15 it would be packed. And then at
nine P.M., zero people. That was back in the day
when people ran home to see The Sopranos.

51

PLAYBOY: Yeah, there was no HBO Go then.
KRASINSKI: No, and who wants to watch that.
on VHS or whatever?

PLAYBOY: But when people list those golden-
age shows, they rarely include the really amaz-
ingcomedies ofthattime—The Office, Arrested
Development, 30 Rock. Do you think comedy
still gets the shaft compared with drama?
KRASINSKI: That depends on what crew
you're in. When I was growing up, Jim Carrey,
Chris Farley—those were my heroes. In New
York I would go to comedy clubs. I was going
down to Upright Citizens Brigade and watch-
ing all these geniuses. One of the biggest influ-
ences on me, period, was Conan O'Brien. What
he did on that show, especially the 12:30 slot,
was mind-blowingly wild. It was instinctual.
Itwas funny. He was taking chances. And I got
to be his intern and learned a lot there. Amy
Poehler was a day player on Conan whenever
he needed that character of his little sister or
something. And Matt Walsh and all those peo-
ple. So Iwas huge into the comedy nerdom of it.
Iremember when Arrested Development came
on, Iwas like, “I can't believe there's something
this crazy on a national network." I thought it
was the best thing I'd ever seen. The fact that
they would call jokes back from six episodes
ago, and if you didn't get it, they didn't care.
That was bold to me. Then the original Brit-
ish version of The Office came out. Someone I
knew had that black DVD box set and was like,
"You've got to watch this." I remember think-
ing, That'sit? They did only 13 episodes? That's
got to be something special.

What The Sopranos did that led to The Wire
and then to Mad Men, that was already hap-
pening in comedy. I also knew that what we
were doing on The Office was groundbreaking.
Ithink the first episode was *Diversity Day,"
and I remember reading that script and being
uncomfortable, thinking, If I'm uncomfortable
and this is on NBC, this is a moment. I don’t
think we'll do many of these. I truly thought
we were going to get canceled, and we were
threatened with cancellation all the time. Be-
cause nobody got it. You know, we legitimately
owe everything to our fans, because it was the
moment of iTunes. Because of the fact that peo-
ple were paying $1.99 to see a show they could
see for free on Thursdays, I think very begrudg-
ingly NBC was like, “Fine,” and picked us up.
The fans saved us. I remember walking through
New York and some guy was like, "Hey, man,
you're on my iPod." I was like, “First off, what's
an iPod?" And second, I was like, *That's my
face on a two-inch screen. What is happen-
ing?" That was a weird one.

PLAYBOY: Somewhat related to that idea of
being out of your comfort zone: What was the
scariest thing about working with your wife?

KRASINSKI: I think the scariest thing is that.
I didn't want to let her down. I was so moved
when she said, “You can't let anybody else do

this movie. I have to do it." It really was the
bestcompliment of my career. I respect her and
her choices and her class and her taste. That
sounds like heady actor babble, but it's true.
I remember she got this script, Salmon Fish-
ing in the Yemen, when we were together. She
said, “I really like this script." I think I said to
her, “Salmon Fishing in the Yemen? You can't
getabettertitle than that?" And she said, “It’s
really special. It's something really cool." I
told her, *Well, pitch it to me." And she said,
“Well, it's about this guy who's trying to start
salmon fishing in Yemen because it's medita-
tive." And I was like, "Not getting any better."
She was definitely in that rising-star moment,
but she knew this script was what she wanted to
do. And that showed me strength and convic-
tion and taste in a way I certainly didn’t have.
Iwas sort of like, “Oh God, I've got to stay rel-
evant and stay working." You know,
I was just doing whatever movie I
could do. I got very lucky having
some of my first movies be Leather-
heads and Away We Go. 1 worked
with great directors on great mate-
rial. But I was still just doing what-
ever I could get. I would have done
anything. Emily was much more
measured, much more specific,
much more confident. I remem-
ber referencing that to her, and she
didn't get it. She was like, “What do
you mean? It's just good." And I was
like, “Yeah, but it's so much more
tempting to just do whatever it takes
to..you know, when your agent is
like, "This is a hot script.” And she
was like, "I don't do hot scripts. I do
what Ilike.” So, working with her on
A Quiet Place, 1 didn't want to get
to the end and be like, “Whoops, I
duffed that one." It was just a con-
stantawareness and making sure the movie was
as good for her, if not better, than it was for me.
PLAYBOY: Look at it from her perspective.
Here's this guy who has co-written a screen-
play with Academy Award-winning screen-
writer Matt Damon, who was the lead actor in
one of the most popular TV series of all time,
who premiered the two previous films he di-
rected at Sundance. Who else would she want
to work with?
KRASINSKI: She was lucky! Yeah, that's the
way I'm going to go with it.
PLAYBOY: Seriously, though, maybe being too
humble is your demon.
KRASINSKI: There is a very similar back-
ground to being from Boston and being from
London. In London, Emily says, it's called “tall
poppy syndrome." Which is, as a society, you
celebrate everyone, and if you get too tall as a
poppy they knock you down so that you're the
same level as everybody else. And there's some-
thing about that with Boston too. Everybody
loves celebrating when you do well in Boston,

Y

but no one wants to hear you say you're the best.
If Tom Brady today was like, “I am the great-
est of all time,” they’d be like, “Get out of here,
Brady!” To be honest, and it probably sounds
super—what's the word?—conceited, but one
of my favorite things is when people in articles
or on Twitter say, “He seems like a really good
guy.” That was kind of the directive from my
parents: Just be a good person. That to me is so
much of a compliment, as much as people say-
ing, “Wow, man, amazing performance.” Just
beinga good person, I think in this day and age,
is really all we should be striving for, because
that's how anything will get done.

PLAYBOY: Which is a good transition to the
#MeToo and Time's Up movements. Having a
spouse who has worked in the entertainment
industry for a while, were you aware of any of
this horrible stuff? Had you two talked about it?

Just being a good
person is really

all we should

be striving for,
because that’s

how anything
will get done.

KRASINSKI: No. We definitely had the con-
versation once it blew up to the level that it did.
I felt terrible and borderline embarrassed that
I hadn't asked her about it. I was like, “Have
you ever had a bad experience?" I think she
said in Vanity Fair, like, "I've had my bum
pinched a couple times, but...” First of all, I
believe I can't add anything to the conversa-
tion. There's so much that has been said and is
continuing to be said, and all the things that
need to be said are at least out there and on the
table now. What we actually piece through and
hold on to in that conversation, I think, is the
most important now.

This is a much bigger movement than just
sexual harassment. Sexual harassment is the
by-product of a system that failed women a
long time ago. I remember when we had our
first daughter, we read this article somewhere.
Ithink they interviewed a hundred girls who
had graduated college and gotten, quote,
“good jobs," whatever that means. They asked
them about the relationship between their

52

fatherand their mother. Ninety-six percent of
the girls had had fathers present. And there
was this weird statistic—I'm probably getting
it completely wrong—but there was some ver-
sion of 86 percent of love and affection comes
from the mother and 93 percent of confidence
and conviction comes from the father. Mean-
ing no matter how loving the mothers were, in
this study, somehow these girls knew that if
they did something great, they looked to their
father and said, *Wasn't that a great game?"
or *Didn't I do well on that test?" To me it
meant there is something subconscious from
the moment women are born that they have to
fight an uphill battle that men don't.

The sexual-harassment stuff is the disgust-
ing by-product that is shaking people up and
making people awake, but I hope we don't stop
there. I hope we have 50 percent women in
the workplace in power positions.
Ithink it's a conversation about
power more than anything else. To
me, that's what's so palpably power-
ful. It’s not as a father of two daugh-
tersor the husband of a wife who's a
strong feminist woman in the busi-
ness. It's as a human being. I think
it's a human-being level that we
should all be talking about. I hope
this is just the pulling back of the
curtain, and once we see the wizard,
we get to dismantle him and rebuild
itandliveinthe kingdom we want to
live in. The problem is the system is
very old, sothe dismantling process
is going to take a while.

PLAYBOY: So what can men do
to help make that happen? What
should they do?

KRASINSKI: Well, if you're a male
CEO and you don't harass people,
don't pat yourself on the back. Get
other people to be more like you. I will say, I
was raised in a very old ideal of America. Like,
my dad told me to help your neighbor no mat-
ter what. You don't hold a vig against them. You
just help if you can. I held doors for women. I
called my father-in-law before I married Emily.
Itwasn'ta decision for me. It was a foregone con-
clusion. I think more people need to have the
foregone-conclusion version of treating women
equally. Women are treated equally rather than
women should be treated equally. I just read an
article where some woman—it might have been
[Wonder Woman director] Patty Jenkins—got
anaward, and they said, “You're the first woman
to blah-blah-blah. How does that feel?" And she
said, “It feels weird because you're still singling
out that I'm a woman." I think that's the best
answer you can have. I hope really soon that we
get to the place where you just directed a good
movie, you just ran a great company, you're a
perfect candidate politically. No division, you
know what I mean? We really should have been
herealongtime ago. п

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THE GENDER

ILLUSTRATION BY EDEL RODRIGUEZ

Chief Creative Officer
Cooper Hefner draws

a line between sexism
and sex while discussing
the need for men to
consciously evolve

Two weeks before Harvey Weinstein started
dominating news cycles around the world, I
authored an article for Playboy.com that ex-
plored the state of masculinity and manhood.
In the piece, which you'll find on the follow-
ing page, I insisted that men encourage one
another to have challenging and long-overdue
conversations about what it means to be a man
and how we can continue to evolve into the best
versions of ourselves—not just for one another
but, equally important, for our female counter-
parts. My motivation: I had stepped into senior
managementatan organization that has played
acrucial role in defining what it means to be a
man, as well as what it means to bea woman, in
Western society. But as the women's movement
evolves from #MeToo to Time's Up and beyond,
the need for an unfiltered conversation about
masculinity is more urgent than ever.
There'san important distinction to make, es-
pecially here in the pages of PLAYBOY. When it
comes to Harvey Weinstein and others like him,
many people read headlines and jump to the

's desires
not the
case for most. The gross abuse of power and the
use of sex with self-serving objectives in mind
are the issues at hand. The actions of Weinstein
and many others in positions of power are sim-
ply immoral, but in order to have a conversation
with the rational man—an individual who be-

dangerous conclusion that sex and mer
are the problem, when in reality that

haves with decency and respect, even if his sex-
ual appetites are unique—it is important that a
clear line is drawn between sexism and sex. In
simplest terms, the line assists in clearly show-
ing that the abuse of power is wrong, and when
exploring Weinstein’s situation, we find that sex
was used as aweapon—one that kept consent out
of the picture he was painting.

Although the world has changed since
Playboy’s inception, many in the United States
and abroad still vilify sexual expression, espe-
cially when it's coming from a woman. We see
heterosexual men own their sexuality unapol-
ogetically (if unconsciously, as I discuss in the
piece to the right), while women struggle to

achieve traditional career success and are also
scrutinized for attempting to own their sexual-
ity, ог апу other form of independence. The un-
equal status of women in the workplace and in

society is directly connected to masculinity in
more v than men often acknowledge.

The domino effect following Weinstein's fall
reminds us that the mistreatment of women
and the abuse of power in social and profes-
sional situations have been an epidemic for far

too long—one that many men have not recog-
nized to its full extent, but that all of us have
witnessed throughout our lives, whether we
choose to admit it or not. Sadly, most women
have not only seen this but have fallen victim
to it in one sense or another.

It is my hope that the conversation contin-
ues between men and women and that offer-
ing a seat at the table to both sexes will help
us participate in a needed moral awakening—
one that guides us not to the vilification of sex,
but to a moment when unjust behavior toward
women no longer exists.

PLAYBOY PHILOSOPHY

Installment IV: Masculinity and Manhood

Sincethe dawn of human consciousness we've
explored what it means to be men much more
than we've permitted our counterparts to ex-
plore what it means to be women. Historically
inAmerica, whether a woman was setting her
sights on an executive role or simply had a
desire to own her sexuality, she has been set
upto fail based on a simple truth: Critics, both
male and female, have a tendency to come out
ofthe woodwork whenever women try to steer
their own destiny.

Although times have undoubtedly changed
over the past century, this fight continues
today, with feminists and female influencers
breaking barriers and continuing to define
what it means to be a woman. Betty Friedan,
Gloria Steinem and other leaders who guided
thesecond-wave feminist movement seem more
relevant now than ever before. Writers like
Roxane Gay and political figures like Kamala
Harris and Elizabeth Warren are just a few who
are picking up the baton and continuing to fight
for liberation and an equal playing field.

As women continue to define their person-
hood and drive their evolution, quiet and often

unspoken murmurs from the other side plague
the minds of men. At some point, our evolu-
tion as men, or at least the conversation and
constructive debate around it, faltered. And
so a few questions arise, ones without simple
answers: What does it mean to be a man in
America today? How does one healthily own
his masculinity?

Polarizing figures have had a tendency to
dictate how men view themselves. Through-
out the second half of the 2oth and early part
of the 21st century, my father played a key role
in this exploration. Today, we have new char-
acters defining manhood, one of whom claims
to “grab ет by the pussy" and boasts that he
can get away with it because of his celebrity.
This individual is now the leader of the free
world. When I think about past remarks, I
find myself saddened to recall the reflections
of a former U.S. president: “Nearly all men
can stand adversity, but if you want to test a
man’s character, give him power.” Abraham
Lincoln's words not only suggest a method
that provides a compass for good morals; they
also outline the defining characteristics that

ILLUSTRATION BY KATIE BAILIE

63

make a good man. They stand true more than
150 years after his passing.

Today, men like Dan Bilzerian garner tens
of millions of followers on social-media plat-
forms by projecting a masculine lifestyle
whose material excesses seem gratifying on
the outside. While the overindulgence is fas-
cinating for millions to watch, what really
intrigues most of the boys and men follow-
ing Bilzerian comes from a desire to answer
the same questions: What does it mean to be
a man in America today, and how does one
healthily own his masculinity?

In some ways, Bilzerian's life mirrors that
of my father—a man who chose to walk a par-
ticular path in the late 1990s and early 2000s,
portraying certain qualities of manhood that
Bilzerian and others follow without delving
deeper. It is crucial to keep going, to explore
how men define masculinity and how those
definitions, and those people we've anointed
as their representatives, define us.

Today, masculinity is often connected to
violence, a quality I don't believe most men
truly want to promote. Many men love to ro-
manticize violence, yet very few if any actu-
ally enjoy its extremes. Sexuality also defines
masculinity, but sexuality has always been
labeled either healthy or deviant, depend-
ing on how its various forms were viewed by
society at a given point in history. Sexuality
should be presented in a way that promotes а
level of respect for one's self and one's part-
ners, while also accepting men who choose
to live outside conventional boundaries that
define gender roles. The world around us
often says a gay man isn't *manly." This be-
lief, which continues to plague American cul-
ture, has to do with our dated interpretation
of masculinity. For those who fall on the ex-
treme conservative side of the social-policy
spectrum: Remind yourself that acceptance
is not the same as encouragement.

We are long overdue for an era in which men
give themselves the same permission to evolve
manhood as women have given themselves
to redefine womanhood. Failing to do so will
allowthe pussy grabbers to continue tellingthe
country what it means to be a man—something
none of us should be comfortable with as we
continue walking toward our future. =

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SORRY NOT SORRY

Wading through the wave of men’s apologies that continue to wash ashore in Weinstein’s wake

When Ту
on a regula

ister

à kid, I used to steal from my
г basis. Cassette tapes, dirty novels,
hair clips, Game Boy cartridges. Every time she
caught me—which was most of the time; I have
all the cat-burgling skills of a dog—I'd apolo-
gize. And every time, she'd issue the sa
fication: "You're only sorry you got caught” Fair
point. It's not like I felt guilty while I was paw-
ing for bodice rippers under her bed. I only felt
inconvenienced upon discovering that m;
tions had consequences. But I did learn that not
allapologies are equal. So much so that in 20151
wrote an op-ed for The New York Times about wh
women should stop apologizing for themselves

so
much. The piece went viral enough to land me on
CBS This Morning, where I was interviewed by
Charlie Rose, whose lack of interest
in the subject no longer seems like a
reflection of my ability to articulate it.
You can see it in the clip: Every time
the camera cuts to him, he's picking sleep out of
his eye. I mean, he's really getting in there.

Now Rose, along with dozens of high-profile
men including Matt Lauer, Al Franken and
Louis C.K., have been forced to apologize to
the point that the famous man's mea culpa
has become a burgeoning genre in itself—the
Sexual Harasser's Lament. Why, there's even
a "Watch the birdie!" subgenre in which men
like Mario “the Cinnamon Roll" Batali and
Kevin “Гш Gay!" Spacey toss red herrings at
the problem. But for the most part the blame
deflection is more deeply seated. Rose views
his time in the hot seat as a personal boot
camp, stressing what he's “learned” and that
“all of us..have come to a profound new re-
spect for women and their lives.” Who, us? I
have long had the perfect blend of respect and
disrespect for my own life. Lauer is *humbled"
and “blessed,” as though he's about to lift up
a statuette and thank God. Like Rose, he has
spun the personal pain and professional set-

ILLUSTRATION BY SARAH A. KING

s" SLOANE
CROSLEY 1

backs of women into a teaching moment for
himself. *The last two days have forced me
to take a very hard look at my own troubling
flaws; he mused. I have a full-time job tak-
ing a hard look at my troubling flaws, and I
didn't have to touch anyone to get it. Loui:
С.К apology, perhaps the best intentioned, is
nonetheless missing the magic word. Harvey
Weinstein, who seems driven to be the best at
everything, including being the worst, is in
conversation less with his victims than with
the NRA, to which he plans on devoting his
"full attention."

Apologies, by their nature, are imperfect be-

cause they're delivered by people imperfect
enough to warrant contrition. After centuries
of apologizing for being bumped
into, women are highly trained—like
m Neeson very-particular-set-of-
skills trained—in the art of the apol-
bittersweet as the advantage we

ogy. But
have in this department is, it’s still astounding
how men can be so piss-poor at it. The phrase
mea culpa literally means “through my fault,”
meaning every grievous act passes through a
single portal. There is no *I'm sorry you feel
that way,” which puts the onus on the victim,
or “consider the context,” which puts it on soci-
ety, or “I have brought shame upon my family;
which...I don't know what that is. We don't live
in feudal Japan. A pure apology is one rooted in
accountability for yourself and regret for oth-
ers, not the other way around.

If [empathize with these men at all, I empa-
thize with them as writers. I certainly wouldn't
want this gig. No words are available to fix
what's been done, and even the acknowledg-
ment of that futility is grating. Plus, direct ad-
mission ofa crime is legally inadvisable, which
means the center drops out of half these pro-
nouncements before they begin. Still, the apol-
ogies come laced with the pompousness of the

newly moral or with the brazen demand that we
see their authors as wounded. Or else they blink
atus with Bambi eyes, their tone reminiscent of
a teenage shoplifter claiming not to know one
has to pay for things in a store.

And yet, apologize they must! To have no
comment is to tacitly admit their guilt or else
expose their hope that if everyone stays very
still, the storm will pass. It’s hard not to sense
these men’s reliance on America’s short-term
memory. I don’t blame them. But we do make

exceptions. Ask Monica Lewinsky. We're in the
midst of a vital and exciting uprising of wom-
еп voices and a long overdue shift in the power
structure. But that’s not why this moment has
staying power. It’s because once every handful
of years, the same news story that graces the
cover of Us Weekly also graces the front page of
The New York Times. Which means it’s easy to
follow. If you haven't been keeping tabs on the
Syrian civil war, it can feel prohibitively con-
fusing to dive in now. But widespread sexual
conduct across every industry enables us
a salacious topic at length, with au-
thority and without guilt. It’s locked in.

So to the men penning these public apolo-
t's not that your words are falling on deaf
ears. Oh, we're listening all right. But what is
meant to extricate you from the mess you've
created and distance you from the damage
you've caused only feeds the beast. And that’s
good. It’s a good beast. It’s not out to get men
or scare them into thinking they can’t make a
dirty joke or have a crush on a woman at work
ever again. It’s so much bigger than that. It’s a
beast that has come to realign the world for our
children, who have to grow up in it. It has been
taking shape for decades—centuries, depend-
ing on how you clock it. And as your apologies
keep coming, they make a dull buzzing sound
around the beast's ears. Like flies. Small. Mani-
fold. Frantic. Irrelevant. =

65

EITY HURTS

Televisión Has long upheld an unspoken rule: A female chagiactery Phe bea di
- but never both. A handful of new shows prove that ¡illes made toy ВЕБ [

sv JULIA COO:

Shapely limbs swollen and wavering under
water, lipstick wiped off a pale mouth with a
yellow sponge, blonde bangs caught in the zip-
per of a body bag: Kristy Guevara-Flanagan's
2016 short film What Happened to Her collects
images of dead women in a 15-minute montage
culled mostly from crime-based television dra-
mas. Throughout, men stand murmuring over
beautiful young white corpses. “You ever see
something like this?" a voice drawls.
Conventional female beauty on crime shows
hasusually been treated more or less like this—
even when a woman doesn't end up dead, she's
a plot point that serves a man with a motiva-
tion. But these days, a lot of beautiful women on
television are getting angry instead of getting
killed. Anger is no longer an exclusively male
emotionora flaw fora female character to over-
come before finding her happy ending with a
handsome man. Several recent series are prov-
ing that a woman's anger can be her own plot
point, a source of strength, a galvanizing force.
Shows starring angry heroines range from
arty to commercial, realistic to fantastical,

longer dependent on men to be effective."
These days, injustice—often linked to the
tangled ramifications of a heroine's beauty—
gives women license to take all sorts of juicy
actions that are far more interesting than
killing. On Marvel's Jessica Jones, it's fury at
being raped and manipulated by the evil Kil-
grave that spurs the protagonist to become the
righteously bitchy superhero she's meant to
be. When her husband dumps her for his sec-
retary, Midge Maisel on The Marvelous Mrs.
Maisel—a woman who spent four years wak-
ingup before her husband to put her face on—
funnels her rage into a coarse and hilarious
act as she pursues a career in stand-up com-
edy, a double no-no for a 1950s mother of two.
On the Netflix/Canadian Broadcasting Cor-
poration series Alias Grace, the titular char-
acter may or may not have helped kill her male
employer, but the show's true pull is how the
19th century domestic servant twists and re-
vises tales of daily abasement and violence
for the psychiatrist who hopes to understand
and possibly exonerate her. We see the anger

Woodley's Jane runs hard and fast, flashing
back to scenes of her гаре and packinga gun in
her purse to meet with a man who might be the
perpetrator. Their anger is nuanced, caused by
arange of situations, and on-screen they strug-
gle to tame it into something else: self-defense,
loyalty, grudges, power, career.

The shift in representation aligns with the
increasing number of women behind cameras
in Hollywood. Harron points out that the ex-
ecutives who greenlit Alias Grace at both Net-
flix and the CBC were women. Witherspoon,
Dern and co-star Nicole Kidman all recently
launched production companies. Last year
marked the first time three women were nomi-
nated for a best director Emmy—one of whom,
Reed Morano, won for The Handmaid's Tale.

And if these shows conjured a zeitgeist
throughout 2017, now, in the post-Harvey
Weinstein moment, they look not only cathartic
but prophetic. Anger, when expressed by sucha
range of female characters, amplifies the point
that reacting to injustice doesn't makea woman
crazy, no matter what she looks like. On-screen,

*The thing about angry women is they're just

talking about it: ‘This is what was done to me.

andthey're set in the past, present and future.
And they're garnering ratings, reviews and
awards—HBO's Big Little Lies and Hulu's The
Handmaid's Tale took every major drama tro-
phy offered at last year's Emmys except best
lead and supporting actor. Add in Amazon's
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, starring another
angry woman, and the three shows dominated
the Golden Globes too. The list goes on: Alias
Grace, Jessica Jones, Insecure, Top of the
Lake, The Crown.

Historically speaking, women on-screen
chose between anger and conventional physi-
cal beauty, and anger made beautiful women
crazy. Consider the snappy Carla from Cheers
or the intimidating Dr. Miranda Bailey on early
Grey's Anatomy, as opposed to the statuesque
women of Melrose Place, acting on their fury
in lusciously insane ways. Columbia Univer-
sity film professor Hilary Brougher points out
that MASH's Major Margaret Houlihan became
“pretty” within the show only in later seasons,
when her anger was no longer a plot point.

“We’re beginning to see angry women ina
range of modalities—angry TV heroines can
be strategic, passive-aggressive, revolution-
ary or compassionate," says Brougher. “And
while they may have male allies, they’re no

PHOTO COLLAGE BY GLUEKIT

shimmering beneath her placid expression,
her milky skin and blue eyes. If she did com-
mit the crime, would we blame her?

“Ididn’t think of anger as a motivating force,
probably because I think women are always
angry women,” says Alias Grace director Mary
Harron, whose previous films include Ameri-
can Psycho and I Shot Andy Warhol. "It's a nor-
mal response to circumstances.”

It’s that very normalcy that makes the cur-
rent surge of angry women on television so re-
markable. Even when anger is not the point of
a plot or a character's central trait, even when
realism is cut by fantasy, on-screen women
face situations that the average female viewer
will recognize immediately. On Insecure high-
powered attorney Molly discovers that her white
male colleague makes a whole lot more money
than she does. Big Little Lies, last year's most
visible conflagration of entirely normal female
anger, cuts between the competitive moms of
Monterey, California. Reese Witherspoon's
Madeline seems to live in a highlighter-bright
shimmer of barbed quips lit by her frustration
and uncertainty. Laura Dern's fierce Renata
Klein, the doyenne of the working moms,
throws her phone into the pool when cracks ap-
pear in her finely cultivated all-ness. Shailene

293

as in Ше, anger is a powerful energy that can
begin the change by which one moves through
the world as agent rather than victim.

Their lessons spiral outside the TV universe
in strange and interesting ways. The second
season of Jessica Jones will be helmed exclu-
sively by female directors, and women—black
women in particular—have reported negoti-
ating pay raises after watching Molly do so on
Insecure. The cycle continues: women in posi-
tions of power putting complex female char-
acters on-screen, encouraging more women to
claim more power.

The lesson, pertinent to men and women, is
that the way toward change is through and not
over anger. But there's more to itthan that.

“The thing about angry women is they're just
talking about it," says Harron of the current
moment in Hollywood. "Are they talking about
it in extraordinary ways? No. They're just talk-
ingabout it. "This is what was done to me.' Peo-
ple think, Oh, it's women with pitchforks. No,
they're just saying, ‘This happened.”

Sometimes what's labeled as anger, when it
comes from the fairer sex, isn't anger at all; it’s
just women asking to be heard, asking to nar-
rate their own stories, to shift What Happened
to Her to “what happened to me.” =

Iturnintothe parking lot shortly before seven
P.M., though I'm still not sure this is the place.
It's been dark for hours and the air is crisp for
a December night outside Los Angeles. Finally
atext comes through: “Where are you?" That's
when I spot them: nine men alone in a public
park, standing in a circle.

This may not be Fight Club, but there are
definitely rules. First things first: Don't call
them “guys.” These are not dudes,
homeboys or someone's brother
from another mother. They're men.
The second rule of not-Fight Club:
Whatever happens in the park stays in the
park. Participants may share lessons learned
here with friends outside the circle, but any
personal secrets the team members reveal to-
night must remain confidential.

Right, team. That's the third rule. *There
is a negative connotation to the term support
group," says Jason (who asked me not to use
his real name). *A support group is a bunch of
men making each other feel better. We don't
do that. We believe life is better lived asateam

sy MICKEY
RAPKIN

on time, as we continue to learn that many of
our heroes (and Matt Lauer) have been taking
their dicks out at work.

MDI’s teams host philanthropic events and
participate in the occasional overnight re-
treat, but the weekly team meetings are the
organization's raison d'étre. Support groups
for men to (gulp) talk about their feelings
certainly aren't new. Meetup.com, an online
platform for finding people with
similar interests, lists 360 groups
in the United States dedicated to
men's support, according to a com-
pany spokesperson. That number doesn't
include groups such as City Dads that offer
camaraderie for men but don't label them-
selves specifically as support groups. Other
organizations where men can hug it out in-
clude the ManKind Project, a nonprofit
founded in 1984 that claims more than 900
groups across 22 countries. (MDI and groups
like it, with their focus on personal growth
and respect for all, are a world apart from the
so-called men's rights outfits that frequently

November to raise awareness of prostate can-
cer, testicular cancer and men's health. Be-
cause the only thing worse than walking
around with a mustache is having to talk about
your butthole.

It may seem obvious that men don’t like to
ask for help, but the problem is so systemic
and perplexing that a landmark 2003 study on
masculinity and self-help was convened. What
two Ph.D.'s determined was that men basically
have to be tricked into seeking help by chang-
ing “the services to fit the ‘average’ man.” Ina
way, that’s what MDI has been doing. Men may
see joining a support group as a sign of weak-
ness, but joining a team? Good talk, coach.
And so, here I am in a parking lot chasing a
half-deflated volleyball into the bushes. All
MDI team meetings start with a half-hour
activity referred to as Fun & Physical. To-
night, these men are playing a modified game
of volleyball with wacky rules (you can spike
only with your non-dominant hand) and a
“net” made froma row of folding chairs. This

HELP WANTED

How a growing network of men’s support groups is pushing back against

sport. We're here to help you do everything you
say you want to do." Perhaps he's splitting (re-
ceding) hairs, butoverthe next three hours ГП
witness grown men confronting some of their
ugliest fears and worst memories. Some will
cry. One will reveal a personal secret so dark it
feels like an episode of HBO's Room 104.

But first, some context.

These guys—sorry, men—are members of
MDI, a nonprofit organization whose stated
mission is “to cause greatness by mentoring
men to live with excellence and, as mature
masculine leaders, create successful fami-
lies, careers and communities." The credo
may be clunky, but the underlying message
apparently resonates. MDI (which stands
for "Mentor, Discover, Inspire") claims more
than 1,000 members across North America,
with 101 teams concentrated in major cities
including Seattle, San Francisco, Toronto
and New York. The organization was founded
in the late 1990s, but its mission feels right

the tide of toxic masculinity

spout misogyny and often fall on the alt-right
end of the spectrum.)

Despite a proliferation of available options,
men remain unlikely to seek help. Last Febru-
ary, Psychology Today reported on the “silent
crisis in men’s mental health"—the suicide
rate for men is four times higher than for
women. The problem has long been culturally
entrenched. Fredric Rabinowitz, psychology
professor and author of Deepening Psycho-
therapy With Men, tells me in a phone call,
*Men have internal shame for not living up to
whatever ideals they imagine they should have
achieved—whether it's having enough money,
being further along in their careers, providing
fortheir family. Because men mask their emo-
tions, they feel isolated. One of the benefits
of the men's group is the relief of finding out
you're not the only one who feels shame." Par-
ticipating іп a larger community may explain
the popularity ofthe Movember movement, in
which millions of men grow mustaches every

particular game is called Bro Ball, which is
maybe the most embarrassing thing I'll hear
tonight, but the rationale tracks. As Abe
Moore, a 52-year-old IT specialist, says be-
tween rotations, *Fun & Physical allows men
to get out of their heads. When you come to
a meeting, you're not in a space to open your
heart and be present."

Ishould admit that I came to this story with
myown bias. I half suspected the group might
be a cult. (Moore says he wondered the same
thingat first.) Orthatthese meetings were for
losers who were still sleeping on their moms’
couches. Or, worse, that MDI was a place for
misguided good ol’ boys to talk about how
they're the real victims in this whole &MeToo
thing. But pretty quickly the men challenged
my assumptions.

At 50, Gregor (not his real name) is still boy-
ishly handsome, a successful music producer
who has worked alongside Grammy-winning
musicians. He isn't someone who looks like

ILLUSTRATION BY EDEL RODRIGUEZ

he needs a support group. (See? Bias at work.)
Gregor came to his first team meeting nearly
10 years ago, he tells me, at the invitation of a
dad from his kid's school. He recalls playing
soccer that night and admits to some initial
misgivings. But he soon discovered something
unexpected: The men weren't being coddled.
They were being challenged. Gregor was sur-
prised to find himself talking—a lot—about a
problem he had at work: He'd promised to col-
laborate with a friend on a project but no lon-
ger had the time, yet his ego wouldn’t let him
walk away. “There was all this made-up stuff
in my head about not letting my friend down,”
Gregor says. “Within 20 minutes, I had aclear
path forward. These men helped me get out of
my own way.”

I saw similar exchanges at the meeting I
attended—exchanges that are best described
as men publicly calling each other out on their
bullshit. (This approach may be
what separates MDI from more tra-
ditional support groups.) I can’t re-
veal details of their discussion, but
imagine how it might feel to watch
aman admit he hadn't had sex with
his wife in months, only to have the
team grill him about it.

MDI president Geoff Tomlinson
later explains that this technique is
intentional. *If you got fired, you'd
blame it on your boss being a dick.
You'd get a beer with your buddies
and they'd pat you on the back and
say, ‘You'll get a better job tomor-
row!’ But at your team meeting, you
get the opposite experience. If you
say you lost your job, they'll say,
“We're sorry that happened, but what part of
this core relationship with your boss do you
have to own? Let's get to the bottom of this,
or you'll be back here in two years.’ " It seems
to be effective, if not exactly polite. It's been a
long time since a fistfight has broken out at an
MDI meeting, Tomlinson says, but it has hap-
pened. “If someone gets pissed off,” he says,
“that'll intensify the men coming at him be-
cause it’s touched a nerve.”

Tomlinson should know; he’s not only the
president of MDI, he's also a client. He joined
his first team in Toronto some 20 years ago
at the urging of his boss, who suggested the
meetings might help him understand why he
kept getting passed over for promotions at
work. *We remind people: You are the com-
mon denominator in your own story," says
Tomlinson. Anyone who has ever been in
therapy will recognize that phrase. What MDI
really offers men is a set of action-oriented

tools for personal growth and *teammates" to
hold them accountable for their own behavior.
Atthe L.A. meeting, the elephant in the room
is Harvey Weinstein and his abuses of power
and the wrongs committed by other prominent
men. Gregor is eager to address the subject.
“If those men had been on a team," he says,
"someone would have been holding them ac-
countable before they hurt somebody. Before
it was too late."

The nine men in this group come from
diverse backgrounds, but they appear to be
unified by the feeling of having missed out on
something, be it an essential life lesson, rite of
passage or guide to a life well lived. MDI helps
them fill in those blanks. A man I'll call Jack
(late 50s, blue-collar, works in aeronautics)
tells me he came to MDI seven years ago, when
his marriage was cratering. Jack had been

Time and again
I hear a similar

refrain: The team

saced someone's

marriage, financial

future, even lifc.

raised by a father who was physically present
but emotionally absent, he says. His father
took him camping, but the man never pro-
vided guidance. "I was waiting for somebody
to tell me what it was to be a man," Jack says,
“for someone to say to me, "These were the rules
then, and these are the rules пом.”

What he found in this circle was a group of
men willing to take the time to listen, which is
increasingly rare. After he owned up to his own
shortcomings (*My wife was bored with me; I
needed to grow up"), his MDI team helped him
rebuild himself and his confidence. For exam-
ple, Jack had never been good with money—
something he felt ashamed about—so his
teammates made him treasurer. Encouraging
concrete new life skills is just one way the group
helpsits members; other ways are more abstract.

Abe—the IT specialist—later shared his
own story with me, and it was sobering. He'd
never met his father, he says, didn't even know

who the man was. Abe's mother had struggled
with addiction, and his siblings were in and
out of foster care. He came to his first team
meeting at the age of 40, shortly after his wife
kicked him out. His thought patterns were a
cesspool of negativity, steeped over a lifetime
of self-hate. "I felt like I'm a piece of shit," he
says, "and that because I didn't have a father I
couldn't be a good father." He wasn't the type
of man to ask for help. But by learning to show
up for his teammates, he learned to show up
for his wife too. After a year, she invited him
home. “Without the team," he says in maybe
the most earnest voice I've ever heard in L.A.,
“I wouldn't be married now."

Time and again I hear a similar refrain: The

team saved someone's marriage, financial fu-
ture, even life. It had helped men quit smok-
ing or watch less porn. Or confront their own
fathers, which is the central struggle of basi-
cally every male coming-of-age story
ever told in this town.
It's a difficult time to be a man in
America. Professor Rabinowitz,
who has hosted his own men’s group
meeting for 30 years and has a wait
list for new members, says he hasn't
seen such an influx of interest since
the women's liberation movement
sent men scrambling to redefine
themselves. The whole thing can be
corny as hell: At one point during the
MDI meeting I attended, one man
stared another dead in the eyes, put
his hand on theother man's chest and
thanked him for living his truth. But
it can also be seriously humbling. It
takes balls to be so emotionally naked.

The meeting ends at 10 Р.м. with the men
shoutingtheirteam name, Arrowhead, into the
sky like some high school football team. Each
team chooses its own name. There's a group in
New York, I later find out, that calls itself Mas-
sive Dump, a juvenile but funny play on the
emotional release one feels after a team meet-
ing. "Arrowhead" is more pointed, so to speak,
hinting at the difficult work these team mem-
bers must do on themselves to become better
men as they shed bad habits and work through
past trauma. "An arrowhead's razor-sharp
edge comes from chipping away at what's not
needed," says Gregor.

In our post-Weinstein world, a man's best
move may be to shut up and listen. But whether
in the White House or working the drive-
through at White Castle, it's clear we men have
work to do—to chip away at the unnecessary, to
craft a better instrument. Go, team. п

70

SUBJECT, VERB, OBJECT

A poet considers masculinity in America via a dark family memory

For kicks, my father would leave my mother
alone in a room with his male friends. The
first time he did it, my mother thought he was
being careless and told him that his friends had
come on to her in his absence. The next time it
happened she thought he was being naive, too
trusting. She complained bitterly from then
on, sensitive to every instance of abandon-
ment. Time and again he found some reason
to ghost on her. Years later, my fa-
ther admitted that this was how
he extracted proof that his friends
envied him. As if to help her under-
stand his motives, he said my mother was like a
candy bowl he would leave in the room to taunt
his friends, who knew the candy belonged ex-
clusively to him. Any way I look at it, his analogy
only compounds the horror it represents.

My wife and I argue over this revelation in
particular, one of several my mother has passed
on to me like toxic heirlooms. My wife called
the candy-bowl excuse a lame distraction. “You
can't compare a woman to a candy bowl," she
said, *and expect her not to take offense." I
agreed in part, but where my wife saw a sadistic
man abusing his wife, I saw a guy trying to im-
press his homies. Maybe I was just arguing for
alessercharge. The wayIsaw it, my mother was
incidental. To my father, she was an object to be
acted upon. I conceded that my mother suffered
a kind of symbolic violence in the process, but
felt that it was unintentional. Insensitive, sure,
but not mean-spirited. My wife insisted there
was nothing symbolic about it: It was violence
in fact. “Ifthe thing he used as bait really didn’t
matter,” my wife said, “your dad could have
used an actual candy bowl and gotten the same
results.” It would have worked, I mumbled, if it
had been an ounce of weed.

Until very recently I imagined there was
a difference between predatory, destructive
masculinity and the kind of “locker-room-
talk” masculinity that men exercise mostly in
the company of other men. I reasoned that the
locker-room variety, the sort demonstrated by
Donald Trump in the famous Access Hollywood
tape, is flawed, but at least it isn’t calculated to
deliberately hurt anyone. Another case in point:
that photo of Al Franken pretending to honk a
sleeping woman's breasts, the picture staged to
grab the attention of other men. Not long ago, I

sy GREGORY
PARDLO

would have said that it was another victimless
offense—an immature or insecure guy clown-
ing for his friends, that this type of behavior
promotes bonding and friendship among men.
That’saview of masculinity got from my dad, a
view I'd been inclined to protect. But think now
ofall the ways it can be harmful.

After my father died two years ago, my
mother embarked on a kind of *truth and rec-
onciliation" campaign. I doubt she
was thinking about it so formally,
but I'm sure she'd processed and
bottled up her experiences over
the years because she didn't trust confiding
them to anyone while my dad was still around.
Not many people, anyway, knew my father in-
timately enough to corroborate the subtle
kinds of cruelty he could inflict on my
mother. Most people would consider
my dad's peccadilloes as victimless bad
behavior. His death made me—an ed-
ucated, securely employed, property-
owning husband and father—the closest
thing our extended family had to the
patriarchal standard to which mascu-
linity attunes in America, so perhaps
my mother thought I would be indepen-
dent enough in my thinking to receive
her stories about my father objectively.
Getting stuff offher chest may have been
cathartic for my mom, but her stories felt
like alist of charges against me.

Thad convinced myself that the candy-
bowl incident was harmless because
it was a social interaction among men. Soci-
ologist Michael Kimmel has noted how “men
prove their manhood in the eyes of other men.”
To argue, however, that my mother was an object
caught in the crossfire between men negotiat-
ing their masculinity may only prove that mas-
culinity is dehumanizing to anyone who is nota
man. I think of Donald Trump's famously enig-
matic boast/confession, “I moved on her like a
bitch.” He’s not saying he had such a good time
with this woman that he continues to feel waves
of contentment. No, J moved on her like a bitch
describes the way he acted upon the incidental
woman. Whether or not women and children аге
treated as objects, as long as masculinity is ac-
tive, men will need something to act upon. To be
domineering, we need people to dominate.

“Domineering” is practically in the job de-
scription of an American patriarch. My dad
was good at his job. From where I was stand-
ing my mom seemed to have figured out how to
navigate his antics. Because she concealed her
distress, assumed she didn't suffer. I assumed
my father’s masculinity was victimless. And I
thought being a husband and a dad required
some degree of despotism.

“Do as I say and not as I do,” my father (below,
with my mother) liked to tell me, which presented
a problem as I grew into my own manhood. By
depriving me of action, however symbolically,
he moved on me—in a manner of speaking—like
a bitch. Naturally, I responded in kind and pro-
duced a family drama that took no account of my
mother's pain. Even still, I catch myself some-

times performing my dad's swaggering domi-
nance with my own wife and kids. I agree with
Kimmel that masculinity is situational, some-
thing experienced and expressed in relation to
others, because I too need a masculinity check
now and then. Knowing how this works, Ilook for
healthy ways to get my mojo out in the open where
Ican relish it. I play tennis. Instead of dominat-
ing people, I dominate the court. Alas, this so far
is all the generational progress I’ve made.
I'mend-running my mother’s #MeToo revela-
tions so my masculinity can continue function-
ing like a verb and thrive in the context of other
men. The obvious lesson I take is that human be-
ings should not be the object of my actions. The
challenge now is to envision a kind of masculin-
ity that is accountable to women as well. п

71

YOU BETTER WORK

In Hollywood and Silicon Valley, statehouses and diners, women in the workforce
are forming alliances to effect radical change from the inside out

The text came from a close friend
“It was something along the lines of 'A letter
is going out saying that women at the capitol

are tired of being harassed,’ " says Elise Gyore,

a senior staffer in the California state legisla
ture. “‘I want to know if you want to sign on
She stared at her phone. It had been eight
years since Gyore filed an internal sexual
misconduct complaint against former Cal

ifornia assemblyman Raul Bocanegra. She

had a new job as a senate chief of staff in the

state capitol and had moved on with her life

“I had that kind of roaring in your ears
where it brings you back to that moment,”
Gyore says of reading the text. “My imme
diate reaction was, Jesus Christ, again? We
can't keep our hands off each other?"

It was October 2017, just a week after the
Harvey Weinstein scandal began toppling
the Hollywood hierarchy, and Gyore sud
denly found herself in the eye of а brand

new storm. The letter in question was a brief

document organized by lobbyist Adama Iwu
Later dubbed *We Said Enough," it called out

pervasive sexual misconduct within Califor
nia's allegedly progressive state government

Gyore spent the weekend mulling it over
The decision to go public wasn't an easy one;
working in the statehouse is all about good
relationships and whom you know. Rocking
the boat means risking your reputation and
your livelihood

"I've seen women report something and
get shipped off to a job in no-man's-land,”
says Sabrina Lockhart, a communications
director who signed the letter. "Someone gets

labeled as that person who made a complaint...
and then suddenly someone doesn't work in
the capitol anymore."

Despite Gyore’s initial complaint, Bocanegra
had kept his job as a staffer for a sitting
assembly member. (He was required to keep
his distance from Gyore, but only for a couple
of years.) He was elected to the assembly him-
self in 2012 and again in 2016. It was after she
discovered he'd been harassing other women
throughout his entire rise to power that Gyore
knew what she had to do.

“My friend said, ‘How are you going to feel
if you don't sign it?” " she says. “I decided that
signing the letter was the right thing to do.”

The “We Said Enough" letter quickly gath-
ered signatures from more than 140 women.
On October 17 the Los Angeles Times ran it as
an op-ed. This time, the state government's
response was decisive. Bocanegra resigned
from his assembly seat in late November
after six more women came forward with al-
legations against him, though not without
calling his accusers “opportunis[tic]” and
“self-righteous” in his resignation letter. At
the same time, California state senator Tony

lawmakers after a female house representative
revealed she was offered help with getting bills
passed in exchange for sexual favors.

Sparked by the 2016 presidential election,
which put in our country's highest officea man
accused of sexual misconduct by more than a
dozen women, and kindled by ongoing news
reports about pervasive sexism in nearly every
American industry, women's tolerance for the
daily realities of sexism and sexual harassment
has hit a wall.

Stories of harassment, groping, unwanted
advances and worse are not secrets among
women. Through whisper networks—private
conversations, text messages, e-mails or chats
conveying warnings about which colleagues to
stay away from—we have, for decades, relied on
one another for information about predatory
men at work. These networks are necessary
because laws have failed to fix the problem—
not only because lawmakers themselves are
sometimes the perpetrators, but because sex-
ual aggression can't be legislated away so eas-
ily. Incidents are often intimate and behind
closed doors, and perpetrators have been com-
fortable in the knowledge that they’re unlikely

networks. In these breakthrough efforts, some
see the first glimmer of real hope for change.
The Shitty Media Men list hit the journalism
world like a tornado. October 2017 saw the
appearance of a document purporting to put
the industry’s whisper network into writing
and thereby make it more accessible to more
women. The list logged the names of more
than 70 male editors, writers and publishers
who, according to the document’s anonymous
contributors, were guilty of offenses rang-
ing from “handsy...at parties” to “multiple
alleged rapes.”

Originally, its creator was also anonymous.
In January 2018, though, in advance of being
outed by Harper's magazine, journalist Moira
Donegan revealed in an essay for The Cut that
she had started the list.

Like many female journalists, Alanna
Vagianos, the women’s editor at HuffPost,
found out about the document when its exis-
tence was made public: BuzzFeed snapped it
up within 24 hours of its initial appearance.
(Donegan promptly took it down.)

“I was definitely surprised initially,” says

“Гое seen women report something and get
shipped off to no-man’s-land.”

Mendoza was removed from a committee
chairman post and two other commission ap-
pointments after it was revealed he had serially
harassed female colleagues, including at least
one who was underage at the time.

*'We Said Enough’ made it abundantly
clear how pervasive this problem is,” says
Lockhart. “It’s a group of women who cross
party lines—and we have all pretty much suf-
fered in silence.”

California isn’t the only state in which fe-
male government staffers and representatives
are organizing behind the scenes. In late Octo-
ber, women working in the Illinois state capi-
tol published their own letter calling out sexual
misconduct, with more than 300 signatories.
Within a month, Senator Ira Silverstein of Chi-
cago resigned his position as the state’s Demo-
cratic caucus chairman after being named as
a perpetrator; both the Illinois house and sen-
ate created sexual-harassment task forces;
ethics laws were amended to explicitly for-
bid sexual harassment; and Illinois governor
Bruce Rauner signed legislation requiring
annual sexual-harassment training. Similar
training was held in January for Rhode Island

ILLUSTRATION BY EDEL RODRIGUEZ

to be reported, much less punished. Indeed,
they seem undeterred by existing laws; sexual
harassment in the U.S. has been legally prohib-
ited since 1964.

Meanwhile, ramifications for victims who
speak up are quite real. They're ignored,
socially isolated, even fired from their jobs.

“Women who are victims have to decide, Is
this so bad that it's worth risking a roof over
my head and food on my table?" says Lockhart.

But starting last year, women's whisper net-
works have been turning to screams. In addi-
tion to government and the well-publicized
Time's Up movement in Hollywood, the deci-
sion among women to come forward with their
experiences has spread to tech, media, journal-
ism, the service industry and more. But what
makes this effort unique—after all, women
have been calling out sexism for centuries—
isthat it marks the first time women have told
their most intimate experiences en masse to
audiences that are not all female.

Banding together behind the scenes, women
are parlaying our once-private conversations
into open letters, shared Google documents,
naming of perpetrators and all-female hiring

Vagianos, *but in the hours afterward, dis-
cussing it with my colleagues, I think we were
all sadly reckoning with the fact that it actually
doesn't surprise us that much."

That's because many women already knew
the culture existed. “I’ve already experienced
sexual harassment, and I'm only 26," says
Vagianos. In her essay, Donegan writes about.
seeing two of the most notorious men on the
list fraternizing at a party in Brooklyn as her
female friend wonders aloud, *Doesn't every-
one know about them?... I can't believe they're
still invited to these things."

Just after the list was made public, Megan
McRobert, a union organizer at the Writers
Guild of America, East, received a text from
a female union member who wanted to know
ifthe union could help her and her colleagues
turn their disappointment, fear and frustra-
tion into action. "People were ready to say,
‘Okay, I don't just want to vent to my friends on
a group text. I want to stop this from happen-
ing, ” says McRobert.

Through word of mouth, McRobert and
other women in digital media organized a
group of about 30 people, predominantly

18

female, to attend an initial meeting at the
Writers Guild offices.

The two-hour meeting was held in early
November and was intended to build a foun-
dation for future conversations. Terms such
as rape culture, sexual violence and sexual
harassment were defined; the results of a diver-
sity study among members were revealed; and
the role of media in shaping rape culture—such
as reports that scrutinize the victims rather
than the perpetrators of rape—was addressed.

The Writers Guild group plans to meet
again; in the meantime, several of the individ-
ualson the Shitty Media Men list have resigned
or been fired. Unlike men in other industries,
though, they haven't been excoriated to the
same degree by the media—possibly because
many newsrooms are overseen by men, who
may run headlines outing predators in other
industries but seem somewhat less inclined to
discredit their own.

"It's great that our union is coming to-

gether to address this," says Vagianos,
*but it is a systematic issue that has to
be changed."
Melody McCloskey was taking meetings
with Silicon Valley investors, trying to
get funding for her fledgling company,
StyleSeat. An online marketplace for
beauty and wellness services, the com-
pany helps customers connect with beauty
professionals in their area and now serves
16,000 cities.

Butat her initial meetings with venture
capital firms—which last year invested just
$1.5 billion out of a total of nearly $60 billion
into female-founded start-ups—McCloskey
ran into men who repeatedly dismissed her
idea. Some pulled their female executive as-
sistants into the meetings to help them decide
whether or not to fund McCloskey. *I'm sure
they're incredibly smart and capable women,"
she says, *but that's not their job. I read that as
“Т chose not to hire qualified women, so I went
and grabbed the closest one to meto weigh in.”

It was 2011, and many female founders
McCloskey knew at the time were running into
the same problem. Until recently, though, the
idea of unifying to combat their antagonistic en-
vironment wasn't a reality. “There was so much
pressure to do things ‘the male way, ” she says.

Butlastyear, everythingchanged. Asa deluge
of stories on sexism and sexual harassment in
the workplace made headlines, it became clear
that women in Silicon Valley were still being
sidelined and disrespected. A 2016 survey of
more than 200 senior-level women in tech,
called “Elephant in the Valley,” revealed that

go percent of respondents had witnessed sex-
ist behavior at conferences or off-site meetings.
Women in tech had already established a
handful of progressive organizations, includ-
ing Women in Technology, Women 2.0, Project
Include and Wonder Women Tech, to advance
companies and projects of underrepresented
groups. McCloskey and her peers, meanwhile,
decided to tackle the problem more directly.
“There was a big realization that we need
more women in power,” she says. “We need more
women in venture roles, more women starting
and running companies, joining boards of other
companies. So how do we make that happen?”
She and her fellow founders began to meet
quarterly. The group has discussed everything
from what holds younger women back in the
workplace to how to prevent sexual harassment.
McCloskey also notes that recently a group of
all-female venture capitalists has begun holding

*I don't just want
to vent on a group
text. [want
to stop this from
happening."

late-night office hours to advise young women
on how to get funding for their companies.

Change has not come as swiftly or as publicly
to Silicon Valley as it has to government or Hol-
lywood. But even outside these circles of female
activists, an awareness, says McCloskey, seems
to be building.

“1 have definitely heard from more VCs say-

ing, ‘We need to find a female partner, and
there have been a lot of people saying, “This is
terrible, and I pledge to be an upright organiza-
tion,’” she says. “That seems like an extremely
low bar—but for now, I will take it.”
Shanita Thomas has worked in the restaurant
industry for more than 11 years, first in Buf-
falo, New York and then in her hometown of
Brooklyn. One morning she served a regular
customer she'd never waited on before: “I go
and get his coffee, and as I go to greet another
customer, he goes, ‘Hey, big-titty black girl, do
you have enough milk in those jugs for my cof-
fee?’” Thomas stopped in her tracks. “I was
completely humiliated.”

When Thomas went to her boss to report the
incident, he told her, “That’s old Joe. Don’t pay
him any mind.” As she was harassed more and
complained to her boss more, her shifts were
cut until “I could barely pay my bills or cover
my rent,” she says. “All because I wanted to be
treated with respect at my place of work.”

Saru Jayaraman, president of Restaurant
Opportunities Centers United, says stories like
Thomas’s are more common than not in the
restaurant world. A survey conducted by the or-
ganization found that up to 80 percent of res-
taurant workers experience sexual harassment
on the job. Because servers work primarily for
tips, says Jayaraman, “you have to put up with
anything the customer does to you, because
the customer is always right and they're pay-
ing your bills, not your employer.”

In many cases, restaurant managers en-
courage the toxic atmosphere. “You have man-

agement saying, ‘Dress more sexy; show
more cleavage in order to make more
tips," says Jayaraman. "You're being
coerced to encourage the harassment—
not just tolerate it, but get it to happen so
that you do well."

These experiences set the tone for
many women's working lives, whether
they stay in the restaurant industry or
not. Because so many women begin their
careers as servers, bartenders or cocktail
waitresses, they learn early on to view
sexual harassment and even violence as
normal working conditions.

Jayaraman and ROC United have been
working to combat this problem for years,
well before Hollywood brought it into the pub-
lic eye. She was among a handful of activists
who appeared on the red carpet at the Golden
Globes to protest sexual harassment, and
she plans to push even harder on legislation
they've long been working to pass—legislation
that would raise the minimum wage and re-
move the requirement of tipping.

“We have been moving legislation on this

issue for a really long time," she says, "and we
are using this moment to get it passed."
Many women involved in these efforts feel for
the first time that men are beginningto under-
stand just how insidious and widespread the
problem is. “For women, this was not new news,
but I think there are a lot of good men who are
kind of blown away," Gyore says.

To that end, it's time for everyone to get on-
board as part of the solution—male or female.
“I don’t need a white knight to stand up for me,"
she says. “What I do need is a co-worker who
would have my back.” =

ть

AW, WHATS THE MATTER, LIL GUY?
AT
-

AW, DONT BE SILLY! WE STILL LIKE
You, МЕ JUST-

ЇЕ you LIKE me,
why won't you give

me the things | want
о the time?

This feels like
OPPRESSION,

{T'S PRETTY SIMPLE. IF You WANT TO
BE IN ONE OF THESE THINGS AND You

DON'T HEAR AN ENTHUSIASTIC

You NEED TO EXCUSE YOURSELF AND
Go TALK To THIS Guy INSTEAD:

HOW COME ?

I feel like
nobody LIKES

me د‎ I

OK, SEE, THAT'S AN EXAMPLE OF THE
KIND OF THING WED LIKE То SEE
LESS or. SELFISHNESS 15 ANNOYING.
AND 50 15 BEING INTERRUPTED.

2

А
بب‎ —
o

LISTEN, | KNOW THESE ARE CONFUSING
TIMES, THE RULES ARE CHANGING QUICK, AND
THEY'RE NOT QUITE 50... ABSURDIY IN YOUR
FAVOR AS THEY ONCE WERE:

.

Well, how am |
Supposed to know.
what to do?

CHEER UP, LITTLE BUDDY! THERE'S ALWAYS
PLAYBOY FOR You TO LOOK AT TILL SOMEONE
COMES ALONG wiTH THAT "HELL YES."

e. lake

PLAYMATE

Jenny Watwood wanted to see the world, and

nothing was going to stop her. The pouty-

lipped brunette grewup in Mesa, Arizona, the
youngest of seven kids. “We couldn't travel,”
We'd go camping up north, but that
soon as I could get a passport, I filled

was

it up as much as I could." After negotiating a

deal with an overseas modeling agency,

Jenny
was off to Milan. Four years later, she had a
new language, a new home base and a new
outlook. “1 feel when you go to another coun-

try on your own, you realize what you're capa.

ble of,” she says.
do and how much you can accomplish on your

you find out what you can

own without any help from your parents and
friends. When you have nobody to fall back on,
you just figure it out.”

Now, eight y after that first overseas
flight, she’s still finding ways to push herself.
Her Playmate pictorial marks Jenny’s first
time shooting nude, but it’s not the ttime

she’s thought about it. “At the end of December
I wrote down some goals. I thought, You know
what? I want to shoot for PLAYBOY. I wrote
it down and texted the owner of my agency,
“What can you do for ше?”

Jenny is the type of woman who makes
things happen—which can be credited, in
part, to her burning desire to experience what
the world has to offer. You can bet she’s not
going to do anything she doesn’t want to do.
“A lot of women give themselves a time frame
forgetting married and having kids," she says.
“Society tells you that's what you should do.
But I don't know if people are capable of lov-
ing just one person for the rest of their lives.
I've never had fantasies of marriage. I just feel
like I'm still living my life."

*

DATA SHEET

BIRTHPLACE: Mesa, Arizona CURRENT CITY: Los Angeles, California

LOVELINES

I'm all natural—my eyelashes, hair,
boobs. My lips are just puffy, and

When people ask me what I do, |
usually tell them I'm in the fash-

GREEN LIGHT

Smoking pot is better than drink-
ing, obviously. For one thing, you

I have smile lines because | laugh
all the time. These lines have great
memories in them—!'m not doing

ion industry. To be honest, | try to
avoid saying "model" in the first 10
or15 minutes. | want to be thought

don't get a hangover. And | ac-
tually do things when | smoke: |
smoke, paint. | smoke, | go hiking.

anything to change them.

FUNNY THING

| know everyone says they don't
care about looks, but | really
don't. I've dated a range of guys.

of as a person, not a mannequin.

HAPPY PLACE

1 love the Italian island of Capri.
The people there always say
good morning to you, there are

I'm a functioning pothead. | have
a joint in my bag right now, in my
mom's vintage cigarette holder.

RAVENOUS

Wherever | travel, | want to ex-

The only thing they have in com-
mon is they're all really funny.

ODD JOB

I was on a variety show in Rome
called Ciao Darwin. Italian tele-

vision is very strange. The show
wasn't the type of thing | would
have done in the U.S., but it is
iconic. | played "Madre Natura."
1 would say a few things to the
other hosts, then go sit and spin

restaurants where the ocean
comes up and washes your feet,
and you walk everywhere be-

perience the regional foods,
wines, art and architecture—
everything. I'm here only for a

cause cars don't fit.

My go-to drink is Macallan with
one ice cube. | like whiskey and
other dark liquors, even the
darker tequilas. I'll always pick
añejo over silver. All my friends
are like, "No—silver, light!" and

short time. | want to go to Asia
and eat scorpions on a stick.

WRITEON

I love to write. I'll probably write a
book later in life. | write every day
so | can look back and pick what
1 need for inspiration. If anyone
ever got ahold of it—oh my God!

a globe. It was nuts.

I'm like, "I like the dark stuff."

[мш

М GJennyWatwood

But it has to be unfiltered.

PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES

Apparently there's a new dominatrix
robot that can whip, spank and taunt
just like a real flesh-and-blood dungeon
mistress. The only hard part is remem-
bering the robot's safe word, which is
control-alt-function-command-escape-
shift-bananas.

Donald Trump's taxes are alot like the pipes
under your toilet. Most people will never see
them, and they’re probably full of shit.

A doctor entered his office and addressed
his patient, a young man. “I’m sorry,” the
doctor said, “but I’m afraid you don’t have
long to live.” The man was stunned.

“Whatis it, doc?” he said. “Whatdid you
find?”

The doctor put his hand on the man’s
shoulder and said, “It’s not what I found, it’s
what your wife found: your Tinder account.”

The most common relationship problem of
the future will be trying to explain to Siri
why you just called her Alexa.

А tuxedo-clad kid is on his way to senior
prom. His dad stops him at the door.
FATHER: Before you go, I want to give you a
piece of advice.

SON: Sure, Dad.

FATHER: It's very simple, son. Just be your-
self and don't do anything stupid.
son: [long pause] Well, which one is it?

This April Fools’ Day, walk into your ex's
house, grab something out of the fridge and
start telling her about your day. Then pause,
say “Oh, right!” and leave.

Inthe future, instead of voting for congress-
men, you'll just pay your taxes into a vend-
ing machine that will automatically vote
against your interests.

With their wedding date finally set, the
bride-to-be snuggled up to her fiancé and
said, “Honey, I want to make love before we
get married.”

“But it won't be long until July, dear,” he
replied.

“Oh,” she exclaimed enthusiastically.
“And how long will it be then?”

Entering a casino restroom to purchase
condoms for what he hoped would bea pleas-
ant end to the evening, a young man found
a drunk standing at the vending machine,
pouring in a steady stream of coins and
tossing the condoms into a hat. Afraid he
wouldn't get his needed supplies, the man
asked if he could use the machine just once.
“Are you nuts?" the drunk replied. “I’m
ona winning streak."

Starbucks isn't really that expensive when
you consider what Victoria’s Secret charges
per cup.

Sent to prison as a first-time offender, a
former English instructor was told by a
longtime inmate that if he made amorous
advances toward the warden's wife, she'd
get him released quickly.

“But I can't do that,” the professor pro-
tested. “It’s improper to end a sentence
with a proposition."

The dating app Bumble has a new feature
called Bizz, which matches users with po-
tential employers in their area. Apparently
the economy is so bad that people would
rather cruise for job jobs than for blow jobs.

Lawmakers approved a bill to legalize mar-
ijuana in the state of Texas. Great, now no
one will remember the Alamo.

Researchers in New Mexico have found
that most beards carry trace amounts of
fecal matter. Not surprisingly, research-
ers also found that most soul patches carry
trace amounts of douche.

Scientists recently tried to simulate
sexual intercourse with a robot equipped
with artificial intelligence. The attempt
was not successful: The robot had a
headache.

Sign spotted ina massage-parlor window:
COME IN! WE KNEAD YOUR BUSINE

hid limes.

Check out the latest literary craze: books
written for grown-ups but based on be-
loved young-adult and children’s titles.
Amongthem, Are You There, God? It’s Me,
Darryl Strawberry; Frog and Toad Are
Friends...With Benefits; and The Little
Engine That Could Fellate Itself:

JESSE
PLEMONS

20Q

From Breaking Bad to Black Mirror, he has starred in at least one of your favorite shows. And in the
new dark comedy film Game Night, the towheaded Texan once again marries creepiness and charisma

в STEPHIE GROB PLANTE

Q1: A lot of the characters you've played are
innocent-looking guys who turn out to be
sociopaths. What is it that attracts you to those
roles?

PLEMON
quite what they seem, because that fee

'm drawn to characters who aren't

s more

authentic to me than someone you look at, im
mediately size up and feel you know what cat
egory to put them in. I don't think people are
really like that. And it's more fun to connect
the dots and try to figure them out yourself.

Q2: Your Breaking Bad character, Todd, is argu-

ably one of the most evil characters on the show.
Do you relate on any level?

PLEMONS: Yeah. I mean, that’s the only way
you can give a somewhat honest performance.
It’s substituting and playing little mental and
emotional tricks on yourself, but you have to
do your best not to judge the character you're
play
Idon't like this person at all. I'm not going to
say which character it was, but it was a real
n, and it was shocking. And then it's a

g. That happened once: I realized, Wow,

different experience when you watch it. Hope
fully it didn't affect the performance

Q3:Do you feel you have to like at least part of a
character in order to play him truthfully?
PLEMONS: You kind of have to love your char-
acters in some way. You have to

tempt to un-
derstand why they're doing what they're doing.
It's got to make sense to you.

Q4: So if Todd hadn't been born into a family of
white supremacists, do you think he might have
had a chance as a decent human?

PLEMO! I think so. One of the episodes of
Breaking Bad that stands out for me is the one

racter at some tweak-
ers' house, and there's a little redheaded kid.
Remember the episode with the ATM ma-
chine? I think there's something akin to that
little kid in Todd, because there's something
childlike about him. The

with Aaron Paul's cha

are true monsters

out there that were always destined to be mon-
sters, but most times th

sa reason.
95:15 it safe to say that a lot of your work is hard
for your parents to watch?

puotocrapHy ey HARPER SMITH

ft

ying,

PLEMONS: Most recently,
Mirror, my dad kept s

they saw Black

That look in your
eyes. That look in your eyes as that captain...”
That's all he could say. And obviously they hate
it when my character dies. Breaking Bad was
such a long time ago, but I think that one was

probably strange for them to watch.

Ов: Have any of the parts you've been offered
given you pause?

PLEMONS: Two come to mind. Pennywise—I
got that call and just didn't want to go there.

I didn't care what the scenario was, really;
I just...no. And then there was a part in this
movie Suburbicon as one of the bad guys who
try to kill the kid. I was like, “I can't kill an-
other kid right now." [laughs]

Q7: Well, speaking of kids, you've been acting for
pretty much your entire life. What was the movie

or TV show you saw as a kid that made you say,
“I want to do that"?

PLEMONS: I watched Lonesome Dove before
I could talk. I was drawn to it as a toddler,
having very little understanding of what was

те"

going on. But as I got older and started acting,
Irealized how good Robert Duvall, Tommy Lee
Jones and Chris Cooper are. It’s so honest and
authentic. And it’s a great book on top of that.
Ilove Larry McMurtry. My father and his side
of the family are all cowboys. I grew up riding
and roping, so being in that world was pretty
easy to imagine.

Q8: And you found out you're a descendant of
Stephen F. Austin, the so-called Father of Texas.

PLEMONS: Yeah; I feel like my dad knew that
throughout my childhood. Then my mom
started doing Ancestry.com, and my dad all

ofasudden snapped to and was like, “Oh, wait
a second.” He had a book on the piano that
directly ties us to Moses Austin, Stephen Aus-
tin’s father. Why would you wait until now to
give us this piece of information? [laughs]
Thanks, Dad.

99: Did your Hollywood career as а kid give you
any street cred with your classmates back in
Mart, Texas, and did it affect your first forays
into dating?

PLEMONS: Well, I didn’t get Friday Night
Lights until after I graduated. What I mainly
remember are the trips when I would go out
to Los Angeles and not get a job, and all my
friends would be like, “Oh, what movies did
you do?” Plural, like I did two or three mov-
ies in a couple of months. I was like, “Well, I
auditioned for several things.” As far as dat-

ing, I was never in either place long enough.
It felt like I was perpetually playing catch-up.
And I’m from such a small town: There were

¿0-something people in my graduating c
It was a very small pool.

Озо: Is Mart anything like the Dillon, Texas of
Friday Night Lights?

PLEMONS: It's very similar to Dillon, just
much smaller. One stoplight. Aside from the

THERE ARE TRUE
OUT THERE THAT WE
DESTINED TO BE MONSTERS, BUT
MOST TIMES THERE'S A REASON.

size, Dillon was pretty much the world I grew
up in. On Friday nights, don't count on going
anywhere in town, because no one's there.
And even down to the old guys watching the
junior varsity games so they know which
players are coming up.

Q11: On Fargo you play possibly the world's most
dedicated husband, opposite your now fiancée,
Kirsten Dunst. What did you learn about devotion
and marriage from Ed?

PLEMO! When I met with Noah Hawley
for the first time, I needed to make sure Ed
wasn't just a doormat—that there was some

real love there. There was a line in the script
that likened Ed to a cow. I asked Noah, "Is he
not very intelligent or what?" He said, *No,
his true nature is not inherently aggressive or
violent. He

someone who wants to graze and

be happy, basically.” I started thinking about

different people who have that unflinching
devotion, and my dad is one of those people.
Once you're in, you're in, no questions asked.
It doesn’t matter what you did, you call him,
he'll be there and he'll figure it out. There
was something I immediately understood
about that. So that was a ve
ter to my dad.

Q12: The cow motif is also apt considering the
fact that Ed uses a meat grinder to dispose of a
corpse. Pivoting off that, who or what scares you?
PLEMONS: Well, not to get political, but the
first thing that comes to mind is our president.
Hes s me. And, Idon't know what you'd call
it..online outrage. It's intense. It's not that
new, but in the past however many years there

y weird love let-

s need to find someone to vent
all your frustration and rage and anger to —and

has become tli

it happens daily. That's pretty scary to me.
Q13: You're not on social media. Was that a con-
scious decision?

MONSTERS
REALWAYS

PLEMONS: Not really.Isigned up for Facebook
when I was 18, when I first moved to Austin
and started Friday Night Lights. I remember
spending an hour and a half on it once. You get
intothis hole, and then you snap out of it, like,
What just happened? Where did that hour and
a half go? I realized I didn't want to spend my
time online. Maybe I recognized that there's
something enticing about it. In terms of Twit-
ter and Instagram and everything, I would
rather be where I am and read the news—
which is now coming from Twitter. But yeah,
I'm not built for it.

Q14: Black Mirror digs into a lot of techno anxiet-
ies. What are yours?

PLEMONS: I guess the feeling that we're mov-
ing further away from basic human connec-
tion, and the false portrayal of yourself that
happens online. It's nothing that hasn't been
said before, but that is scary to me, thinking
about kids growing up counting likes and ev-
erything. It's going to alter their per-
ception and experience of the world.

915: Your episode of Black Mirror couldn't have
been timed better, with the #MeToo movement
and your character's toxic masculinity, Basi-
cally, you play a butt-hurt gamer who imports his
co-workers into a Star Trek-like game and abuses
them. How did you do research for the part?
PLEMONS: I watched a lot of documentaries
about gamers and video game programmers

and that sort of thing. I was more inter-
ested in that kind of isolation and that need
to escape reality. I think there are a lot of
people—and they don't have to be Trekkies or
ever—who understand that. I
feltstrangef hing work some days because
I knew Cristin Milioti had to go to some dark
places. But I wasn't looking at the bigger pic-
ture, because I didn't want to come in with
any judgments. The charac-
ter is not a good person, but
there's a reason he became
that, and that's what I was
tryingto figure out.

Q16: Let's talk Game Night,
which follows three couples at a
murder-mystery party that goes
way off the rails. Are you into
games? Do you get competitive?
PLEMONS: Yeah, definitely.
Some good, clean fun. I love
playing poker. Recently this
HQ game—have you done
that? It's an app where, like,
hundreds of thousands of
people get on live, and it's
trivia. I'm not very good at it,
but I enjoy it.

gamers or w!

9

Q17: Game Night seems like it was a fun set.
How much was improvised?

PLEMONS: There was a decent amount, but
the script was so funny to begin with. There
were little moments here and there, but it was
probably 85 percent scripted. I was shooting
Black Mirror when I got the script. I got to
my first scene and was like, “Yeah, I want to
play Gary, the creepy cop neighbor." Having
the freedom to experiment and play around
with a scene is something I really enjoy. Ev-
erything isn't so chiseled out, where you feel
you know how it's going to go or should go; it's
not great when you're in that place. I think
that's one of the reasons Friday Night Lights
worked. Everyone tested the waters in the
first fewep

sodes, and then it became a game
to see who you could crack up.

Q18: What would you be doing if you weren't
an actor?

PLEMONS: Something possibly in psychol-
glish literature. Those are proba-
I would've chosen. I don't know. I

love writing songs and playing music. I don't
play out too much anymore, but I did when I
was living in Austin for Friday Night Lights.
It was kind of accidental. We would have all

these great house parties where mus

ans
would come over and play. I wrote a song, and
) like, *You guys should start a
band." We were called Cowboy and Indian,
which wasn't the best name. We played a lot,
probably from 2012 to 2014. And I loved it.
Now it's been such a long time. I'm more in-
terested in recording. I've got a lot of friends
who are making such great music, and I'm
like, "Ah, let me in there." I enjoyed it, but it
would probably take me a little while to warm

up again.
Q19: Who are your go-to artists to play when
you're at home, messing around on your guitar?
EMONS: I grew up listening to what ever
one listened to in Mart: popularcountry radio
stations. I always go back to John Prine. I love
his songwriting. And the Stones if I want to
ick it up a little bit. When I moved to Austin I
discovered Townes Van Zandt, and that was a
pivotal moment. Learning about him changed
the way I look at music, and even at movies—
just the devotion he had to songwriting. He
was obviously tortured, but he reworked what
I thought you could accomplish.
Ого: You turn зо this year. How are you feeling
about it? Is it scary? Is it a relief?
PLEMONS: I feel like I should be 30. I guess
when I was younger I always felt older than
my age. Thirty feels right, you know? I haven't
given it too much thought. Now I'll be think-
ing about it. п

From space tourism to robots with feelings ў
to the new war on drugs, eight artists and
intellectuals weigh in on what comes next

opener er VAULT49 wwustrationsey ZOHAR LAZAR

by Bryony Cole

When you dig beyond the headlines of
virtual-reality porn and robot girlfriends, you
find that the relationship between sex and tech-

nology is considerably more nuanced than two
nerds building their dream girl in а garage.

Teledildonics enables us to exchange sensations

with just about anyone with a vibrator; the only
connection you need to worry about is your Blue-
tooth signal. Want to be better in bed? Download
an app to connect with a sex coach. Want to feel
better in bed? Wet your whistle with some canna-
bis lube. Ifyoucan dream it, it’s probably in devel-
opment. The longand storied marriage of sex and
technology—now an industry valued at an esti-
mated $30 billion—presents possibilities that are
infinite, awe-inspiring and at times terrifying.
Of the many technologies to consider, from
haptic suits to robots to augmentation, one of
the fastest growing is virtual reality. With today's
millennial-plus audiences growing up with porn
in their pockets, VR offers a creative combina-
tion of erotica and enlightenment on topic

rang-

ing from health to gender swapping to consent.

BaDoinkVR's Virtual Sexology, for example,

VRcourse designed bya sex therapist (and hosted

by a porn star) to treat premature ejaculation.
Quebec filmmaker Emanuel St.-Pierre's Do

a

You NO the Limit? Consent in 360 Degrees takes
youona VR journey through the lens of a young

woman.
fun and fl

Anencounter with a peer that starts out

rty turns sexually aggressiv

,giving
a different perspective on the nuances of con-
sent. Similarly, researchers at Emory Univer-
sity and Georgia Tech partnered ona virtual app

that leads college-age studen

s through a night-

club experience; the program is aimed at young
women, who practice identifying “at-risk behav-
ior" and how to express consent if they decide to
take things beyond the club.

In Australia, the VR workplace-training tu-
torial Equal Reality offers a chance to "literally
see from the point of view of others.” Leveraging
VR’s deep immersiveness, it enables users to ex-
perience a different gender or race.

In addition to educating, VR simply makes
sex and dating more fun. Virtual-reality speed-
xpected to arrive this year. And VR is
ngsextoa new sensory level by engaging the
nose and skin with scent releasers and tech that

replicates touch. You may fear you'll never leave
pists argue that VR sex
may help us shift gears from the increasingly
plicit, 2-D world of online porn into a more per-
sonalized sexual world in which we t

thecouch again, butthe

ransform
from passive consumers to active participants.
Likeall technology, sex tech comes with unique
, including privacy and personal-data
breaches. It also raises questions: How does sex
ual harassment translate into virtual worlds
Will AI devices eventually know more about our
preferences than we know ourselves? And do we
care? From cosmetic innovations like scrotox to

ris

apps that share STD tests, the future of sex tech
isas vast and unpredictable as sex itself.

While the possibilities grow, there's a larger
story around the future of sex, and it has nothing
to do with technology; it's about being human.
The keys to great sex are human qualities such
asopencommunication, empathy, intimacy and
erotic intelligence. How do we hone these skills

as much as we do our Instagram Stories?

Scientists have proven that touch
tant for sustaining a healthy relationship, but
it's also essential for our survival. We might
want to blame technology for distracting us

impor-

with its orgasm shortcuts via apps, sexbots and
VR, but the real mission is to take responsibil-
ity for our own pleasure. See technology for what
it is: an additive to your sex life. Can it replace
the real thing? Probably. Would you want it to?
Probably not.

Bryony Cole is the founder of Future of Sex, a
multiplatform brand that explores the intersec-
tion of sexuality and technology. Season two of
her podcast debuts March 15 on FutureofSex.org.

RECOVERY
by Macklemore

Millions of people in this country struggle with
addiction. I’m one of them. Today the disease
claims an unprecedented number of lives. More
than 64,000 people died from overdoses in 2016,
and opioids were responsible for more than two
thirds of these deaths. We are facing a public-
health epidemic, and so far our collective action
to address the issue has fallen short. But there
are concrete things we can and should do now
that will help us move in the right direction.

One thing I've experienced personally is the
lack of training or awareness some doctors have
about addiction issues. Numerous physicians
have offered me prescriptions for opioids without
asking me about my history of drug addiction. It
sounds obvious, but it should be part of standard
medical procedure to ask patients about their ad-
diction history before prescribing drugs. This is
part ofa larger issue that needs to be addressed:
Doctors are prescribing too many pills and are
prescribing them for longer than necessary. We
know opioids are extremely addictive, and we
need to find a better way to treat chronic pain.

Another thing we can do is shift away from
incarcerating people with addiction issues—
recognizing it as a disease that needs to be
treated, not a crime that needs to be punished.
Too many people are in jail as a result of drug
use and addiction, and they are disproportion-
ately people of color. It’s not a coincidence that
opioid-overdose deaths have gained national
attention now that they're impacting middle-
and upper-class white families. The inter-
section of addiction and incarceration is just
another example of how institutional racism
manifests in our society.

And maybe most important, we need better
and more affordable access to treatment. I was
lucky: I could afford high-quality treatment when
I needed it. But for too many people, a spot in an
inpatient treatment facility is simply unavailable
and too expensive even if they do get in. If some-
one’s ready to enter treatment, we can't tell them
to wait 90 days. For me and so many others, this
could be the difference between life and death.

When I'm on drugs, I consume them in abun-
dance. I went to rehab in 2008. Pills, lean, weed
and alcohol had led me into isolation. I had

forgotten what happiness felt like. I always
believed I was alone with my disease; my girl-
friend and the drug dealers were probably the
only people who knew how bad it was. What
was once 30 minutes of euphoria became 10,
then five, and then it just became about main-
tenance. I hated myself and had no purpose.
Couldn't writea song. Couldn't find the motiva-
tion to open the blinds. Just me and my drugs.

We think of drugs as a coping mechanism,
something that helps us escape. But my truth
isthe drugs led me further from contentment.
I didn't escape anxiety, self-hate and depres-
sion; the drugs made all those things worse.
The temporary relief they brought me would al-
ways lead to more pain than I was originally in.

When I'm in my active addiction, my disease
tells me not to tell anybody soIcan keep using.
Ittells methat I don't need help, that I can do it
on my own. But I can't do it on my own. I tried
for years, stuck in the cycle of addiction.

Going to rehab was the best decision I ever
made. If it weren't for rehab I wouldn't be here.
That's not speculation; that is my truth. And
for me, the rooms of recovery are what keep me
sober. Some would say I'm not supposed to pub-
licly mention them, but people are dying and
need help. I wish I had been introduced to the
rooms sooner. My recovery is centered on those
programs. When I prioritize anything above
them, that's when the self-hate creeps back
in and a drug sounds like the best solution. It
isn't. It never is.

Addiction issues are multilayered and com-
plex, and each individual has different needs.
Chances are your family is touched by addiction
in some way. I know from personal experience
thetollithastakenonthe people I love the most.
But I've also experienced the many blessings of
recovery. I have acommunity of people who un-
derstand me, my story and what I go through on
adaily basis. Our drug of choice might have been
different, but we speak the same language of ad-
diction. I feel understood when I'm in the rooms.

The opioid epidemic is personal to me. I've lost
nine friends to overdoses. It's not an understate-
ment to say that I could easily have died too. If
you know someone who is struggling, ask them
how they're doing, and be honest with them.
When you're in the midst of addiction, some-
times it takes someone else’s lens to be able to see
how far gone you are. And if you're struggling,
knowthat millions of other people are struggling
too. A huge part of my recovery is finding others
who share my disease and understand on a per-
sonal level what I'm going through. We can make
progress only if we're honest about the problem.

Ben Haggerty (a.k.a. Macklemore) is a four-
time Grammy-winning artist. In 2016, the
rapper-activist teamed with Barack Obama
‚for the MTV documentary Prescription for
Change: Ending America's Opioid Crisis.

SPACEFLIGHT
by Ghris Hadfield

Way out in interstellar space, a tiny satel-
lite is speeding into the unknown. Voyager 1
has traveled 13 billion miles from Earth, past
the edge of our solar system, zipping along at
38,000 mph. It's the farthest-ranging space-
ship we've ever built, and even after 40 years
it still sends a weak signal of how it's doing—
helping us understand the rest of the universe.

Between there and here is everything we've
ever done. From controlling fire to building the
pyramids to typing on an iPad, our entire exis-
tence has occurred within this tiny corner of our
galaxy. And humans have taken just the small-
est of steps: Six astronauts are currently orbit-
ing Earth on the Space Station, and only 12 have
walked on the moon. Just 562 of the 110 billion
people who have ever lived have flown in space.

But that is about to change.

This year, several companies are poised to
enter the business of launching people into
space. Boeing has built the Starliner and SpaceX
the Dragon 2, proto-airliner-like ships capable
of blasting tourists (and a few highly trained
crew) all the way into orbit at 17,500 mph—30.5
times faster than a Boeing 787. Jeff Bezos's Blue
Origin and Richard Branson’s Virgin Galactic
are about to rocket the first paying customers
above the air and back, weightless for several
minutes as they glimpse the blackness of space
and the curve of the horizon.

With tickets starting at $250,000, the cost of
space tourism, which the FAA predicts will be-
come a billion-dollar industry by 2022, is still
high, but risk and price are dropping as the tech-
nology continues to improve. NASA has notonly
made this privatization possible through a cen-
tury of danger-filled research and testing, but
itis now taking advantage of it. With low Earth
orbit accessible to commerce, the space agency
can focus on what lies beyond. Recent policy an-
nouncements have also set NASA on a path to
build the Deep Space Gateway, a space station
that will orbit the moon. And with probes and
rovers teaching us about Mars, we're getting
ever closer to the reality of an astronaut stand-
ing on the surface of the red planet.

But these advancements raise two ques-
tions: What do we still need to invent, and why
explore space at all?

Weare all explorers. You learned to walk long
before you learned to talk. The necessity to go
see, to touch, to lick, is fundamental to human
development and understanding. It's why we
grabbed earrings as babies and left home at 18,
and it's why our ancestors left Africa and wan-
dered the world, from Tasmania to Tierra del
Fuego. It's also a key part of societal progress.

Some parts of the planet were only very re-
cently discovered. The first humans paddled
ashore in New Zealand just 750 years ago,

and footprints didn't appear at the South Pole
until 1911. Space exploration began in 1961—
just 57 years ago—with Soviet cosmonaut Yuri
Gagarin's launch.

Our exploration has always been enabled and
limited by the technology we've invented. To
leave the tropics we had to be able to control fire,
make clothing and construct shelter. We built
rafts to ferry us to islands and eventually ships
to cross oceans. Cars, trains and planes now
transport us to all corners of the globe. And for
the first time in history, our rockets and space-
shipsallow us to venture beyond Earth itself.

So why aren't we living on the moon? Where
are the jet packs and flying cars of The Jetsons?
What are we waiting for?

Engines. Rocket engines.

When I flew the Space Shuttle and the Rus-
sian Soyuz, the huge motors exploding violently
below me (as recently as 2013) were basically
the same technology that John Glenn rode in
1962—essentially crazily souped-up jet engine

afterburners. To get to space we still burn
gigantic tanks of fuel as fast as we can, just to
escape Earth's gravity. Elon Musk has been im-
proving basic rocketship design, simplifying it
and making it reusable, but we are still in the
coastal sailing ship era of spaceflight.

Getting to Mars with today’s best designs
still takes six months, each way, with no op-
tion to turn around if something goes wrong.
We need rockets to evolve as boat motors did,
from paddles to sails to propellers.

Fortunately, some of our brightest inven-
tors are working on it right now. In a labora-
tory near Houston, a magnetoplasma rocket
is undergoing the final stages of testing for
spaceflight, which could take place within
three years, depending on NASA funding.
The brainchild of seven-time Space Shuttle
flier Franklin Chang-Diaz, this engine has the
potential to cut the travel time to Mars to less
than two months.

But for a voyage that demanding, the rocket

needs a concentrated power source, such as a
nuclear reactor, which is heavy and risky to
launch. The interplanetary answer will prob-
ably lie in improvements in nuclear power,
and the Advanced Research Projects Agency-
Energy has laboratories across the U.S. work-
ing on fusion as a solution. We are tantalizingly
close to rocket engines that can take us farther,
and more safely, than ever before.

The moon and Mars are patient; they've been
silently waiting billions of years for us to come
visit. We've sent probes and made a few foot-
prints, but for the first time in history, we are
nearly there to stay.

The year 2018 is an exciting time to be a
space explorer.

Chris Hadfield is the first Canadian to com-
mand a spaceship. The astronaut and best-
selling author currently hosts National
Geographic’s One Strange Rock and produces
Rare Earth on YouTube.

MONOGAMY
by Esther Perel

The quality of our relationships determines
the quality of our lives. So it pays to cultivate an
erotic intelligence, which is less about sex than
about our ability to infuse our relationships
with a senseofaliveness, curiosity, playfulness.
Erotic intelligence is sexuality that is trans-
formed by our imagination. It is the poetics of
sex—that which gives it meaning and color. In
other words, sex is not just something you do,
buta place where you go inside yourself and with
another. It's the element of sex that actually ful-
fills desire. And it is an intelligence, meaning
that it's something you can acquire—you can
learn it, cultivate it—for a healthy relationship.
We need this intelligence in order to navi-
gate accelerating changes in the way we con-
nect as sexual beings. Sex is no longer just for
procreation or simply a woman's marital duty;
now it is primarily rooted in pleasure and con-
nection for both partners. People at 60 act as if
they were 40. Relationships have become much
more egalitarian, and there is a much greater in-
terchangeability of roles. Social media and the
internet have given people more options, more
temptation. Today you can have an affair while
lying next to your partner in bed. Youcan escape
without having to leave the house.
Inthisenvironment, all relationships require
a certain level of openness. A healthy relation-
ship will have fluidity, adaptability. A system
that is alive and healthy can respond flexibly
to changes—to change that comes from within,
to change that comes with new goals, to change

that comes with health conditions. If you're
aging, forexample, you don’t make love the same
way you used to—but that doesn’t mean the sat-
isfaction can’t be equally deep.

The meaning of monogamy itself has deeply
changed. For most of history, monogamy meant
being with one person for life. Today monogamy
means one person at a time. People tell you they
are monogamous in all their relationships, plu-
ral, and that makes sense tous ina way it wouldn't
have 50 years ago. It’s a revolution—a concept
that has fundamentally changed its meaning.

Monogamy in heterosexual relationships is
still primarily defined as sexual exclusivity. But
there isa big shift taking place in that monogamy
is now considered a continuum, not a fixed line.
That continuum needs to be explored, negoti-
ated and defined by every couple. They must ask:
Where do we draw the boundaries? Where would
we experience a breach of trust? For some people
monogamy is about emotional, not sexual, com-
mitment to a primary partner. Plenty of people
consider themselves deeply monogamous even if
they are not sexually exclusive. The only way to
know what your partner thinks is through safe
conversations about difficult questions.

Today the term the new monogamy is fast be-
coming established, and alternative arrange-
ments are burgeoning. Couples are exploring
different agreements around boundaries,
from totally closed (excluding sexual, sen-
sual or emotional connection with others out-
side the relationship) to totally open (in which
both partners may fully explore these connec-
tions with people besides their primary part-
ner, so long as the primary partner retains

top priority in the relationship). Some couples
share fantasies or read erotica together. Others
have license to flirt but draw the line at realiz-
ing the possibilities. Some make a distinction
between sex for love and sex for fun, reserving
the latter for swingers’ weekends or sex parties.
The possibilities are endless, but they are
rarely discussed. Not long ago, when people were
divorced they were embarrassed to talk about it.
We used to think divorced people were inferior or
that they had failed. Now people have no problem
telling you that they are divorced, but the major-
ity of people who are exploring alternative ren-
derings of monogamy are not open about it. In the
future, perhaps we won't just assume that sexual
exclusivity is morally or emotionally superior.
Tools to help people build healthy relationships
will evolve in new ways. I think podcasts repre-
sent an amazing technology. They're intimate,
and yet they're collective. I produce and host a
podcastcalled Where Should We Begin?in which
couples allowa one-time therapy session with me
to be recorded and edited (with names changed
for their privacy). It has become a sort of pub-
lic health campaign for relationships. Millions
of people listen, from Chad to France and from
Australia to the U.S. People love it because they
can learn from listening to others, from hearing
the conversations they may want to have. And the
podcast is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes
to what technology can do for couples therapy.
Inthe years ahead, we will see the roles of apps,
websites and even robots and dolls continue to
expand at the intersection of technology and
relationships. To me they're creating a new vo-
cabulary that will give us new ways to connect,
as writing letters or making phone calls (or even
faxing) once did. Relationships are changing so
rapidly, and there is a tremendous need for guid-
ance. Thatisonething likely to remain the same.

Esther Perel is the best-selling author of The
State of Affairs and Mating in Captivity. Her
latest project, Rekindling Desire 2.0,
riculum of e-courses for couples and individu-
als; it launches this spring at EstherPerel.com.

a cur-

THE ENVIRONMENT

by Cristina Mittermeier

We are all living in a house with a burning roof.
Our planet is suffering the consequences of in-
creased carbon dioxide in the Earth's atmo-
sphere, decreased oxygen in its oceans, the
disappearance or decline of many species, the
wholesale destruction of entire ecosystems. АП
these problems are linked to human activity, as
science has unequivocally shown.

What's our plan to put out the fire? It's as if
we sit stunned, watching the flames and na-
ively waiting to be saved by Superman. Shall we
wait for government to formulate a plan or for

industry to find some profit motivation to save
Earth? How can we ensure that our planet re-
mains livable 100 years from now?

To consider the future, let's first takea look at
the present. Ouroceans, forexample—the plan-
et's largest habitat—are choked with plastics.
Coral reefs are threatened and dying. Ice caps
and polar habitats are shrinkingatanalarming
rate. It's a troubling picture. Government and
industry will need to step up and take bold ac-
tion to protect our environment. But the truth
is, we cannot wait to be saved. Each one of us, in-
dividually, must become the superheroes of our
own story. And we need to begin now.

The good news? This is doable. We can all be-
come advocates for a sustainable environment.
There are concrete steps we can take—easy
things. Stop using single-use plastics (such as
drinking straws, water bottles and ear swabs).
Buy wild-caught fish and fish from sustainable
fisheriesonly, instead of farmed product. Com-
mute viabicycle or public transportation when-
ever possible.

Changing our behavior to help save the
planet will require a cultural shift, but we have
achieved this before. Remember the ozone
layer? Back in the mid-1980s it became an un-
avoidable topic at dinner parties and the water
cooler. Scientists, alarmed by data showing a
growing hole in that segment of the atmosphere,
were the first to raise the red flag; soon the story
made the six o'clock news and the daily papers. A
ban on ozone-destroying chlorofluorocarbons,
found in many consumer products at the time,
was denounced by big industry. But the public

heard the warnings and quit buying products
containing CFCs. Industry noticed and even-
tually removed the chemical compounds from
their wares. Today the ozone hole is healing.
Thanks in part to social media and other ad-
vances in communication technology, today
cultural shifts can take place with remarkable
speed. Meanwhile, reconnecting with nature
helps motivate us to protect it. Taking friends
snorkeling in a river can open their eyes to a
world of conservation. Beachcombing with a
child can instill a lifelong love for nature. Shar-
ing photos and stories about the environmental
issues close to your heart on social media can
generate interest and change minds. Posting
about the Earth you love on Instagram or Face-
book is not slacktivism; it’s engaging with your
community. It matters. So pull on your imagi-
nary superhero spandex. We can save our home.

Cristina Mittermeier isa contributor to National
Geographic, the executive director and vision
lead of SeaLegacy, and the founder of the Inter-
national League of Conservation Photographers.

THE EQUAL RIGHTS
AMENDMENT

by Kamala Lopez

Did you know women do not have equal rights
under the U.S. Constitution? If you didn’t,
you're hardly alone. In fact, though 94 percent
of Americans believe that men and women are
inherently equal, 80 percent mistakenly be-
lieve that constitutional equality is guaranteed,

101

according to a recent poll commissioned by the
Equal Rights Amendment Coalition. As sur-
prising as this may sound, women are still not
guaranteed basic equality under federal law.

“Certainly the Constitution does not require
discrimination on the basis of sex,” the late
conservative Supreme Court Justice Antonin
Scalia once explained. “The only issue is
whether it prohibits it. It doesn’t.”

So women don't have equal rights in the Con-
stitution. Big deal. We've established all kinds
of other legal rights and protections. We've re-
formed or phased out the antiquated “spheres of
influence” laws, which stipulated thatawoman
didn’t have a separate legal existence from her
husband and limited women's rights to the
home. So it doesn’t matter, right? Wrong. Well,
not wrong, but not enough.

Enter the Equal Rights Amendment, or ERA,
a 95-year-old piece of legislation that was bur-
ied in Congress in 1982, three states short of
the 38-state ratification requirement. Had it
received passage before Congress’s deadline,
the ERA would have become the 27th Amend-
ment and constitutionally guaranteed com-
prehensive equal rights for women for the first
time in history.

Its exclusion from our foundational law doc-
ument has major negative implications in all
women’s lives, not the least of which is a persis-
tent gender wage gap that increases based on
race, with white American women making 79
cents, African American women 63 cents and
Latinas 54 cents on the white male dollar for
work of the same or greater value.

The ERA can kick off the change; without
it, no real change is possible. Constitutional
amendments, unlike laws and statutes, can-
notbe changed by a simple majority vote. They
cannot be dismissed with the flick of a pen or
the wave of an arched wrist or used as a politi-
cal football. They are the only guarantees that
last from one generation to the next. American
women and girls don't have this guarantee, and
we need it more than ever. We need it now.

With women performing more than 110 mil-
lion hours of unpaid labor per year, our obli-
gations at home have changed little since the
19505, yet we're joining the workforce in record
numbers—not by choice but out of necessity.
According to the U.S. Department of Labor,
75 percent of school-age children today have
working mothers.

Our time and our bank accounts are not the
only things at stake. According to the National
Network to End Domestic Violence, at least
three women die every day at the hands of in-
timate partners, in part as a result of the Su-
preme Court precedent that police departments
may respond to mandatory restraining orders
at their discretion.

Opponents of the ERA repeat tired argu-
ments that sound like an Archie Bunker rerun.

The main complaint—that the amendment
somehow opens the door to abortion rights—
is ignorant. In reality, abortion rights are al-
ready constitutionally guaranteed, and not on
the basis of gender equality but on the right to
privacy. From warnings that women would risk
mandatory draft requirements to claims that
widows would forfeit their rights to social secu-
rity, the majority of dissenting arguments are
either irrelevant or unsubstantiated. But the
most disingenuous anti-ERA argument of all is
that we simply don’t need it anymore.

If the past two years in America have proven
anything, it’s that the level of cognitive dis-
sonance for women has reached its breaking
point. We are contending with the stark con-
tradiction of electing a Pussy Grabber in Chief
while filling streets, cities and countries with
our bodies, our outrage, our multitudinous
demands and our #MeToo movements. What
many of us have not realized is that our gov-
ernment, systems and institutions operate on
the premise that women shall not have equal
rights. The bottom line: The game is rigged,
and it’s time to change the rules. Step one: Rat-
ify the ERA.

So where is the ERA today and what can we
do to push it over the finish line? In 1982, when
the deadline Congress imposed on the ERA ex-
pired, so did most efforts to complete ratifi-
cation. After more than 35 years of inaction,

Nevada ratified the ERA last spring. We are
now only two states away from the 38 needed
to finish the job.

As I write this, I’m in Virginia, urging the
state legislature to pull the ERA out of commit-
tee and put iton the floor for a vote this legisla-
tive calendar year. Activists are gearing up to
do the same in Arizona, Illinois, North Caro-
lina, Georgia and the rest of the 14 states that
remain unratified.

Whether achieving ratification after the
deadline will result in the immediate imple-
mentation of the ERA remains to be seen. Op-
ponents argue that the original deadline must
stand and that the federal time line trumps
states' rights to ratify. Supporters and legal
experts are confident of legal victory based on
precedent, including recent Supreme Court
rulings favoring basic civil rights protections
despite strong opposition.

To those who do not agree, the Equal Rights
Amendment is not going away. Woe be to the
state legislator willing to publicly oppose basic
equality for women. We'll see you in November.

Kamala Lopez is the creator of the 2016
documentary turned movement Equal Means
Equal. She is currently producing the All Girl
Full Equality comedy special with artisi
activist Natalie White and Carolines on Broad-
way founder Caroline Hirsch.

MUSIC
by David Guetta

I often wish I could see what the future will
bring, because new sounds always excite me the
most in music. That's why Ibecame a producer.

I have a few guesses as to how you and I will
experience music a few years down the road. For
one, I'm optimistic about how we'll listen to re-
corded music—and how artists will be compen-
sated for their efforts. Streaming has completely
changed the industry in the past few years, so
much so that illegal downloading is less of a
threat, in my opinion. In the past, it was far eas-
ier and far cheaper to download music illegally
than legally, but now listeners are able to enjoy
music through services that are relatively inex-
pensive, convenient and easy to use. Better yet,
they work. Thanks to these streaming services,
record labels are able to make money again,
which is of course good for everyone. I wish these
profits were being shared more fairly with art-
ists, but I believe we'll get to that point soon.

Meanwhile, live shows remain the primary
source of revenue for artists, and albums have
become less relevant from a commercial point
of view. Don't worry: That doesn't mean art-
ists will stop shaping their work into cohesive
packages. I keep making albums for artistic
reasons, because I believe this format allows
for more creativity. The formats and econom-
ics might change, but the satisfaction of a killer
full-length never will.

Electronic music festivals are still successful
andareevolving with the times. It's pretty spec-
tacular, for example, to see the development of
Ultra around the world. Tomorrowland is an-
other festival killing it right now, along with
many others, but multi-genre festivals are re-
ally on fire atthe moment. Now that connecting
and collaborating with artists across the globe
is as easy as opening your laptop, I expect festi-
vals to feature more and more fresh sounds in
more and more places.

As far as what specific sounds will emerge
and catch fire—well, no one can reliably predict
that. Latin music was definitely the dominant
new crossover style in 2017, with Brazilian funk
also becoming more popular internationally.
Underground club music (house-techno) is super
trendy at the moment and will probably get even
bigger this year. But as much as we might like to
peer around the corner and catch a glimpse of
the next big sound, remember: Knowing what's
around the corner would rob us of the thrill of
discovery! And the core qualities of music—
connection, emotion, movement—remain as
strong as ever. Even in our hyperconnected and
ever more virtual age, some things don't change.

Two-time Grammy winner David Guetta is one
of the world's most successful DJ-producers.
His seventh album is due out later this year.

THE FUTURE
by Tim Kreider

"Ultimately there will be scheduled areas [for
outdoor sex]—we give it another five or six
years." That quote, from The Joy of Sex by Alex
Comfort, only seems more poignant as time
pas First published in 1972, the book was
populated with a pair of hirsute lovers illus-
trated by Chris Foss, an artist better known
for his chunky, bristling spaceships on count-
less science-fiction novel covers. The Joy of Sex
turned out to bea sort of science fiction too, de-
picting an overly optimistic sexual utopia—an
enlightened free-for-all where sexual repres-
sion and jealousy would be vestigial.

It’s acommon fallacy of science-fiction writ-
ers and other futurists to extrapolate from the
present moment in a straight-line trajectory:
If we went from the Wright brothers to Neil
Armstrong in only 66 years, then surely by
2035 we'll all be living in bubble-dome cities
on Mars; if we got from Kinsey to Lovelace in
24 years, then by 1978 we'll be fucking in the
Sheep Meadow in Central Park. But history
isn't linear. It's more like climate: It may be
inexorably trending warmer, but that's not to
say there won't still be blizza: The manned
space program kind of petered out after Apollo,

and there were, alas, no reserved sections for
sex in public parks by 1978. A decade after its
initial publication, the ethos of The Joy of Sex
was already dated. In 1988, Hunter S. Thomp-
son, in Generation of Swine, wrote, "What
do you bout a generation that has been
taught that rain is poison and s death?"
Ina way, we're now living in what would have
seemed like a sexual utopia to people in the
1970s. If you're halfway decent-looking you
can, in theory, swipe through profiles of po-
tential partners and pick one to have sex with
within the hour. It's also a far better world for
those who fall outside the narrow band of vis-

ible wavelengths on the Kinsey scale that used
to be called *normal." When I was in a subur-
ban high school in the 19805, “дау” was just a
generic epithet and being “out” as homosexual
would have been unimaginable. Now being gay,
bisexual, transgender or nonbinary is accepted
across growing swaths of the country.

But there's also a certain bloodlessness about
hookup culture, a dread of intimacy that might
seem creepy to the evangelists of free love. The
phrase to catch feelings (as in *Oh shit, I caught
feelings for him") equates love with a virus. The
kids of this decade might also seem weirdly
prudish and inhibited in ways that would've
shocked Comfort's hippies. I understood

that I was living in a different world when a
20-something guy told me the story of how he
and his girlfriend met in college: They'd started
making out at a party, but then they were like,
*Whoa, we've both been drinking; we better stop
and wait till we're sober." My first impulse was
to tell him, *Neither you nor anyone else would
be alive if everyone before you had thought that
way,” but I felt I would be speaking out in defense
of drunk driving or smoking on airplanes—a
reactionary crank longing for the bad old days.
Likewise, our pornographic dystopia might
make 1960s champions of free expression
second-guess their absolutist stance on the
First Amendment. The extent to which porn has
permeated the landscape is almost invisible to
us now; I still remember my own priggish wince
the first time I saw a store called Shoegasm. I
can count on one hand the number of images of
naked women I had seen by the age of 13 (includ-
ing the archetypical tattered PLAYBOY Center-
fold in the woods). It’s hard to imagine how it
must deform the psyches of adolescent boys to

have seen 800,000 digitally airbrushed women
displaying their gaping anuses, or to а
that the natural culmination of the
facial. I know of a woman who actually bought
her teenage son a subscription to PLAYBOY
a healthy corrective to internet porn. Imagine

telling that story to your 13-year-old self.

It’s easy to mock or abhor the taboos and
mores of 50 years ago; it’s a lot less obvious
which of our own obviously right ideas and
sane values our children will mock and abhor.
Take Lolita. “What a fabulous shiny moral
barometer that movie looked like in 1962, when
it was new,” Michael Herr writes, speaking of
the film adaptation in his book Kubrick, “and
how we loved which way we thought the wind
going to blow.” (Herr wasn’t waxing no
talgic about social acceptance of pedophilia
but rather, I think, about that film’s knowing
smirk at Eisenhower-era hypocrisy, its insinu-
ation that the real perverts are the “normals”
all around Humbert.) Audiences in 1962 were
scandalized by the sexualization of 14-year-
old Sue Lyon in that film; now you can buy your
pubescent daughter pants with PINK or JUICY
written in glitter across the ass.

Right now, in the early days of 2018, it seems
as if the more control conservatives gain over
the government, the more ground they lose in
the culture. The wind is blowing leftward—the
definition of marriage expanding, the very con-
cept of dimorphic gender eroding, the careers
of sexual predators imploding one after an-
other. But winds have been known to shift, and
the weather, as we all know, is getting strange.

w

Tim Kreider is a New York-based writer and
cartoonist whose new essay collection, I Wrote
This Book Because I Love You, is out now from
Simon & Schuster.

The minute we laid eyes on Sandra
we had to meet her in person. To ou

5 Playboy Poland cover, we knew
an readers, we say "Prosze bardzo!"

PHOTOGRAPHY BY CHR HER VON STEINBACH

Im a horrible brat," deadpans
Sandra Kubicka. It’s difficult to be-
lieve her. Most spoiled brats don’t
cultivate a tireless work ethic at
the age of 13, when this spirited
blonde began modeling. She has
n the business.

now logged 10 yea
“I was born in Poland, where I was
raised by my grandparents,” she
“I moved to Miami when I was
ars old to live with my mother,
and the next year I started work-
ing.” Clearly, the hard work has
paid off: Kubicka (pronounced Koo
BEETZ-kah) was the sun-kissed
bombshell on the September 2017
cover of PLAYBOY'S Polish edition.
Currently shuttling between

Miami and Aspen, Sandra some-

how finds time in between gigs to

make TV appearances, including
a run as a judge on Poland's Top
Model, and hone her entrepreneur
ial instincts. A budding wellness

guru with a penchant for sweets,

she ha sed juices

$ a line of cold-pres
available in Europe. "I work out
twice a day, but I'm a maniac when
she says. "An
is to have my

it comes to baking,
other dream of mine

own bakery. Banana bread and tira-
misu are my specialties."

It's safe to say the self-proclaimed
workaholic is only getting started.
“People say, ‘Youre such a baby,
but I feel I'm so old—I’ve seen and
experienced so much. It's great,
though, because I have all this time
ahead of me. I feel like this is just
the beginning."

FICTION

MILLING TOWN

BY MICKEY SPILLANE
& MAX ALLAN COLLINS

Dames, dirty cops and one down-and-out dick: Private detective Mike Hammer is back in
his first-ever adventure—lost, found and excerpted here exclusively

The blonde dame in the sleeper-car window
damn near naked in front of the mirror
on the back of her closed door, and ready to
finish the job. She hadn't bothered to pull
down the shade, maybe because her train
wasinthe ack

ards

backed up ona curve oft
against a stalled freight.
And she didn'tknow she had company

by way
of somebody catching a ride under that freight.

I didn't catch what she wa
of—she was sta
a natural blonde, but nobody's рег

s changing out
rk naked soon enough, and not
ect. Right
cy

he was climbing into some black 1а

stuff, several pieces of it, including the sheer
black nylons she was hooking to the garter
belt, shapely right leg lifted with the toes
stretching out. Then she stood there pirouet-
ting around while she brushed out her hair,
making love to her reflection but good.

For once I wasn’t in the mood to enjoy
a candid strip act, and anyway I was no
Peeping Tom
working the cr

just a tagalong passenger
s out of a back stiff from

accommodations under the boxcar, aching
all over from where sharp-edged pebbles had
bounced off. A hunk of baling wire between
the tracks had caught and ripped my pants
leg, and the fabric flapped around until I got
into my batte:

and found a
At least

ed overnight

safety pin to clip the tears together.
the gash wasn’t in me

And maybe, doing that, I caught a few more
glimpses of the babe in the window. Just maybe.
There was dirt caked in the stubble of my
beard and ground into my scalp. My hands

and face must have been as black as the night
itself, its sultry heat sending rivulets of sweat
down that turned it into pure muck. Travel
under a train does not come with shower facili-
ties. My preening beauty wouldn't have found
much to look at where I was concerned.
Somebody else would find me worth look-
at, thou
d cops

h. Down the line I could hear
flushing out the bums, night-

sticks making dull, soggy noises where they
landed. Sometimes s acking sounds

n2

followed by hoarse screams and a torrent
of curses, mixed in with the rumbles and
bangs and whines of trains moving and br
ing and bumping.

were

ak-

Then they were closing in from both ends
and I was ready to kick in the chops the first

guy who stuck his face in between the cars
where I was standing. For a minute there was
alull and I was just about to make a break for
it when the beam of a flash split the night in

half and light bounced off from somewhere,
catching brass buttons not 20 feet away.

The big tough bull in blue looked like he was
frozen there, staring straight at me.

I pressed back into the shadows, trying
to hug the rear of the car. I was jammed up
against the steel ladder that ran to the top,
wishing I could get the overnight case in
my hand turned around so it wouldn't make

such a conspicuous bulge. Same went for the
packet tucked in the front of my shirt under
my old field jacket.

Damnit to hell—he was waiting for me to come

ILLUSTRATIONS BY THE RED DRESS

out зо he could get a clear swing at me! It hadn't
taken me long to regret leaving my .45 behind.

Behind me I could half sense the dame snug-
ging into her undies, but I would have liked it
better if she had switched out the light. It was
turning me into a silhouette that couldn’t be
missed unless that guy had left some thick
glasses at home.

I was all set to pitch out that bag in the
railroad cop’s kisser, to take some teeth and
make a break for it, when I realized the copper
wasn’t in the same mood as me—not by a long
shot. More lights came by, hitting his face, and
this time I saw his eyes. No, they weren't look-
ing at me at all. They went right by me to the
dame in the sleeper-car window and I could
have lit a butt without him seeing the match.
Could have started blowing smoke rings too.

What the hell? The curve of track gave me a
vantage point, so took one last look at her myself.

She was working on the other nylon now,
toes stretched out ballet style, and then her
feet found the floor and she had a look at her-
self too, probably thinking Gypsy Rose Lee
had nothing on her. Her red-nailed hands
cupped this and that, and her chin lifted, her
mouth all white teeth and crimson lipstick
and pure confidence. She was having a hell of
a good time in front of that mirror. Hell of a
good time.

But I needed to get out of there while the
railroad officer was still getting his fill.

I slid off into the alley between the freight
and the sleeper, ducked under the light and

walked to the end of the string of cars. I didn’t
have a bit of trouble after that. Just strolled out
of the yards into the passenger station, cleaned
up in the restroom, dumping the torn trousers
and glad ГА brought a few changes along.

Then I went down a dingy, ill-lit, worse-
smelling street to asloppy hash house crowded
with a section gang going on late shift. I ate
at the counter and a cute waitress with black
streaks in her blonde hair and pretty green
eyes flirted with me as she took my order for
bacon and eggs. She was 20 going on 40.

“You just roll into town, mister?”

She didn’t know how right she was.

“Yeah. What do I need to know about this
burg?”

“Killington? More like Killing Town—it'll
kill your dreams deader than a mackerel. And
does this burg know about dead mackerels!”

Her joke missed me, but I gave her a grin
anyway.

She went over to the kitchen window. She
had a nice shape and when she stepped on her
tiptoes to shout the order in, her fanny said
hello. Five minutes later she was back with my
food and a refill of my coffee.

“Where you from?” she asked.

“New York.”

“The big town! Man, would I like to get
there sometime.”

“Not that far away, sugar.”

“A world away from here.”

I threw down the plate of bacon and eggs,
left her a quarter tip, then went out and

roamed around until I found a hotel one step
up froma flophouse.

The bleary-eyed night clerk, looking 40 and
probably not 30, was smoking a cigarette that
didn’t have tobacco in it. His shirt had been
white once and his bow tie was half off, hang-
ing like a carelessly picked scab. He shoved the
register at me without really looking. I wrote
Hammer, Mike and passed over my buck. For
that I got a key to a closet masquerading as a
room, where I dumped my bag before I came
downstairs again.

When the clerk saw me, he did his best to
place me, then made те аз his newarrival and
reluctantly let go of the smoke he was hold-
ing in his lungs, also letting out a few words:
“Want a whore?”

Full service, this place.

I said no thanks and pitched my key on
the desk.

Some town, Killington.

Two doors down from the hotel through the
rank-smelling night waited a cellar bar that
hadn't done anything to itself since Prohibi-
tion except get a license. The walls were bare
brick with only a couple inches of clearance
over my head. An old scarred mahogany bar
ran along one side, while a few tables were
spaced around the rest of the room, wearing
so many scratches they at first seemed cov-
ered with patterned cloths.

A pair of sharp articles played black-
jack at one table, two frowsy, blowsy women
with shrill voices and ugly print dresses had

114

another, and over in the corner a kid about 20
sat at one, having a quiet argument with his
girl. Neither of them belonged in the place.
They had good manners and good clothes, and
from the flush on the girl's face and the excite-
ment that showed in her eyes, it was a slum-
ming party with the skirt doing the picking.

Probably this was her way of telling her boy-
friend she was up for anything—get it? Any-
thing. Psychology, it’s called.

Over the bar was a clock that said it was a
quarter after one. Two and a half hours since
the naked babe on the train. In the upper cor-
ner of the mirror over the back bar was a bul-
let hole spiderwebbed with cracks. Place had
character, all right.

I sat there and filled up on beer. I was dry
right down to my shoes from the trip upstate
on the rods, and until I had three brews under
my belt, I didn't get anything but wet. But
don’t let anybody tell you that you can’t
get drunk on beer. On six I was mellow
and one later I was there.

The street door opened and let in some
more of the humid night. For a minute the
brunette just looked the place over, her
almond-shape brown eyes taking every-
thing in, her full mouth wearing lipstick
so red it was almost black. She nearly
changed her mind about coming in, then
shrugged and walked over on her black
high-heeled strappy pumps to the bar.

It wasn’t exactly a walk—there should
have been an orchestra, a stage and
wings for her to come out of. She was
nicely stacked, shades of blue-and-pink
jersey dress clinging as if she were fac-
ing a headwind. All that brown hair
bounced off her shoulders while she held
her stomach in to keep her breasts high
and breathed through a faint smile that
might have been real if it weren't so damned
professional.

Sure, she picked me. Maybe she could sense
class when she saw it. Or maybe she liked the
color of my dough on the bar. The other two
drunks were showing nickels and dimes while
I sported change of a 20.

The greasy, glassy-eyed bartender, two parts
pockmark and one part skimpy mustache,
swabbed down the bar in front of her with a wet
rag, looking like he could use a swabbing him-
self. “What’ll it be, honey?" he gruffed.

Her eyes passed over the scotch bottles, but
she said tiredly, “Whiskey and ginger."

I kicked a buck forward. *Make it scotch.
Best you got. Soda on the side."

Hell, why waste time.

The brunette raised her eyebrows and

smiled at me. *Well..thank you. You know, I

don't usually...

“Skip it, sis," I said. “I was already in the
mood for company." I finished my current
beer, watching her over the rim of the glass.

She shrugged and the smile looked a little
tired too. *Does it show on me that much?"

I put the glass down and let the bartender
fill it up again. “Not really,” I lied.

"Couldn't I just be some lonely girl looking
for a nice guy?”

“Maybe, but you didn't find one." Ishrugged.
“You look just fine. I'm just used to spotting
the symptoms."

Her sigh was abrupt and so were the words
that followed: “Someday I’m going to get out
ofthis town and get a real job."

“What's the matter with the one you got?"

If I had been leering, she would have given

WOMEN LIKE NICE
GUYS? THAT ONE
WAS STARTED BY
AN OLD MAID WHO
DIED A VIRGIN.

me the glass of booze right in the face. But I
wasn't leering, so she studied me curiously a
moment. “Don't see a ring. You married?”

“Nope.”

“Got any kids?”

Igrinned. “Not that I know of."

She swirled the ice around in her glass.
“Want to hear something funny?”

“Sure.”

She looked in the mirror behind the bar,
past her reflection. “I want both. A ring and
kids. Together and legitimately.”

“So what are you doing about it?”

Her shoulders made that resigned motion
again. “Not much. Anyway, men like nice
girls, don’t they?”

“Like women like nice guys? That one was
started by an old maid who died a virgin. You

can have your nice girls. They're all a pack
of phonies."

The sleepy, one-hiked-eyebrow glance she
gave me was deliberately sarcastic. “Really?”

“I mean it,” I said. “They're phonies because
they'reallliars. Everyone wants the same things
and the good girls are afraid to go after it."

*Which is what?"

“Sex. Money. Not necessarily in that order.
So they think up lies to excuse themselves, get
loaded down with frustrations that turn into
inhibitions and when they finally do get mar-
ried and give it up? The first thing you know
the Holy Union is on the rocks.”

“That right?”

“That’s right. Hell, give me a dame that
knows her way around every time. When they
settle down, they're really settled and know
how to treat a guy. Like I said, the nice girls

you can have.”

“Thanks.” Her eyes were laughing at
me. I ordered her another drink. “You go
to college or something?”

“A few semesters in the Pacific.”

The door opened again and foul muggy
air and a sallow-faced kid in work clothes
came in. He wandered to the cigarette
machine, put a quarter in and pulled out
his butts. He stood there fiddling with
the pack until the bartender yelled, “Hey!
Close that damn door!”

The kid said something dirty, finished
opening the pack, lit a butt and walked
out, leaving the bartender to go over and
shut the damn door himself.

Isaid, “What’s that smell?”

I'd noticed it before, but now it seemed
worse than ever.

“Fish,” she said, like she was tast-
ing some that had gone off. “Tons of it.
Also clams, crabs and anything else that

comes out of the ocean, all getting chopped,
cooked and canned.”

I shook my head. “Fish my eye. If it is, that
catch's been dead a long time.”

She shook her head and the brunette hair
bounced on her shoulders some more. “No,
it's fish, all right. Until the war, it wasn't bad
at all. But the factory took a contract to turn
out glue and put up the new addition where
they make it, and that's what smells. Fish
glue." She shuddered. “They say it makes more
money than the cannery.”

“Oh.”

And so now I knew all about fish glue. Just
plain glue, and the horses they made it from,
wasn’t bad enough. Now they made it out of
fishes. Dead mackerels.

"I heard better fish stories,” I said.

She shrugged. *It's the biggest industry in
town. Senator Charles owns it." She took a
long pull on the drink and set the glass down
empty. “I used to work there, y'know. At the
cannery. I hada pretty good job too." Her hand
made a wave а the room and herself. “That was
before...this.”

“What happened?”

“My boss had busy hands. I slapped him.”

Igrinned. “With a fish, I hope.”

She grinned. “No. I had to make do with
an ashtray.”

“Well played,” I said.

Another shrug, too small to make her hair
dance. “One way to get fired.”

The door opened again and more of the smell
seeped in. Only this time it closed and stayed
closed after a wide, dish-faced blue-uniformed
cop with a big belly held it open for a younger
partner to come down the three steps
from the street. They both looked around
the room. You'd think there was some-
thing to see.

Everything got quiet awfully fast
and one of the drunks at the bar turned
around and lost his balance. He went flat
on his face and the big cop stepped over
him, barely noticing. The slick pair at the
card table stopped playing and stared.
Were these two after them?

Istared too because the big cop wasn't
looking at the blackjack-playing pair but
instead right at me, and the way he held
that club meant he aimed to use it before
asking any questions. He played it tough,
the way nearly every stupid cop does,
thinking that a uniform made him a su-
perman and forgetting that other guys
are just as big and maybe even tougher.
With or without a billy.

Hereached for me with one hand to hold
on while he swung and as soon as he had his fin-
gers planted in my coat front, I pulled a nasty
little trick that broke his arm above the elbow
and he dropped to the floor screaming. The
other cop was pulling his gun as he ran for me.

This one was stupid too. If I had gone the
other way he would have had time to jerk the
rod free, but I came in on him and split his face
six ways to Sunday with a straight right, and
while he lay there, I put a foot on his belly and
brought it down hard. Like I was stomping ona
particularly ugly bug.

He turned blue for a while, then started
breathing again.

The cop with the broken wing had fainted.

The bartender was wide-eyed over his
open mouth.

Over in the corner, the slumming party

looked sick to their stomachs, then got up and
scrambled out.

The brunette hadn’t reacted at all.

I said to the barkeep, "I'd like to know how
goons like this pair got on the force.”

There was a wheeze in the bartender's throat
when he told me. “For three hunnert bucks,
you get put on the list.” His eyes still seemeda
little glassy. He looked at me, the phone on the
wall, then toward the door, wondering what to
do next.

“I don't know what the hell this is all about,”
I said, “but I don't like to get pushed. Not even
alittle bit.”

He swallowed and nodded. No argument.

One of the drunks decided it was time for
another drink and pounded on the bar to get
it. I raked in my change, stuck the bills in my
wallet and put the silver in my pocket.

MY HEART WAS

SLAMMING INTO MY

RIBS AND MY MIND

WAS TELLING ME TO

GET THE HELL OUT.

The brunette smiled wistfully. “Another
time, another place?”

“A better time,” I said, “a better place.”

I pulled out a 10 and shoved it over to her.
“Till then,” I said. “Sorry to drink and run."

“Good luck,” she said and smiled. She meant
it too.

I had to step over the big-belly cop with the
busted arm. I opened the door and stood sniff-
ing the air. It stunk. Everything stunk about
this burg.

But it went right with how I was feeling, so I
didn’t give a damn. I went up the few steps to
the street, saw the empty squad car at the curb
and got too damned cocky for my own good.
Cops drive in pairs and I didn’t expect any oth-
ers hanging around.

But they were—they sure were.

Somebody yelled, “Cripes, there he goes!”

That was all I needed. I faded into the shad-
ows alongside the building and took off as fast
as I could. I skirted around the stone stoops,
hurdled the boxes of rubbish packed against
the railings and kept my head down all the
way. The night started to scream with staccato
blasts of gunfire while ricochets whistled off
the pavement around me.

A slug tore into my shoe and knocked my
foot out from under me. I hit the sidewalk on
my tail, swearing my head off, wishing I had
a rod in my hand that would tear the guts out
of somebody—any “three-hunnert-dollar” cop
would do.

Up ahead a streetlight doused the area and
Iknew if I went into that yellow splash of light
I'd be a dead duck. I couldn't go forward and I
couldn't go back. I couldn't do a single damn

thing except roll down the steps next to
me until I hit a pile of newspapers and
spilled them over on top of me.

I didn't get it. I didn't get it at all. I lay
there with my lungs sucking air hungrily
to stop the burning in my chest. I come in
undercover and suddenly I'm the main at-
traction. My heart was slamming into my
ribs and my mind was telling me to get the
hell out of there in a goddamn hurry.

Sure, get out. Walk right up into a face

full of bullets.

They were up there knowing right where
I went and I could hear their feet con-
verging on the spot. I pulled out the ma-
nila packet of green from under my coat,
under my shirt, and tucked it in a gaping
crack in the cement between the wall and
the first step of the staircase that ran over
my head. Tucked it in good and hoped for
the best, filling in with some pebbles. That
left me with my wallet and a few bucks.

But I sure as hell didn't want to be found with
that packet of green on me. The $30,000 that
brought me to Killington would wind up in the
pockets of the bent cops who busted me.

Then I waited.

The door beside me that led to the cellar
was too heavy to crash and the padlock too
big to force. Go up and I'd die. Wait it out and
maybe I wouldn't. So I stopped thinking and
just waited.

A voice said, “You down there! Come out with
your hands in the air."

“Why should 1?”

“Would you sooner do it in a basket?"

Iwentup.

From Killing Town by Mickey Spillane and Max
Allan Collins, out April 17 from Titan Books.

"I guess she hasn't cleaned out my storage unit yet."

"Playmate Nereyda Bird in the turquoise tides of
St: Barts—it's a match made in heaven

Our April Playmate is a walking contradiction. At 20 years old,
Nereyda Bird says she's very outgoing—but going out has never been
her thing. She calls herself crazy but possesses a deep serenity be-
neath her effervescent exterior. And while she describes herself as
goofy, the one adjective she's reluctant to use might come as a sur-
prise: “1 never really felt connected to the word sexy. I think it's a bit
vulgar.Igetthat Nereyda is supposed to be some 'sexy model,' but it's
not about me feeling sexy; it's just me feeling comfortable."

Born in New York, Nereyda grew up in Philadelphia and currently
resides in Miami. She has wasted no time in pursuing her professional
aspirations: She began modeling at the age of 17, and she already co-owns

acafé with her mother—a casual spot in north Miami called Grab & Go.
“It’s a cute little joint,” she says. “We serve authentic Dominican food.
Most people say, ‘Don’t do business with family members because you'll
be too soft,’ but my mom and аге hardcore with each other."

A yoga enthusiast, avid foodie and self-proclaimed tomboy, Nereyda
is never idle. During her rare stretches of free time, you're likely to
find her cruising arts festivals or honing her baking skills. And rest
assured, there’s nothing contradictory about her ambition: At the
moment, she’s willing to put romance on the back burner as she dis-
covers herself. “I’m single and I'm not ready to mingle,” she says. “I’m
happy living. I feel very blessed right now.”

PHOTOGRAPHY BY WIISSA

BIRTHPLACE:

NATURAL SELECTION

When it comes to relationships,
either we're in it together or it's

DATA SHEET

call Tuxedo. They're my two sons.
I got them off Craigslist. | also
have a pit bull | rescued from a

nothing. You really need a con-
nection. When you realize that,
dating is a whole lot easier.

LOOK FORWARD

Поуе a man who takes care of him-

shelter and named Chipotle. That
was my favorite food at the time!

SKIN-DEEP

Am | allowed to complain about
the whole nudity taboo? | under-

New York, New York CURRENT CITY: Miami, Florida

dough, but it's so good. Hanging
out there is a ball.

HIGH PRAISE

I like it when people tell me they
like how | think. | don't mind being
told I'm attractive, but it's beau-
tiful when someone likes me for
who lam.

self, who cares about his future. |
want to know the kind of per-
son he wants to be. | want him to

stand we're in a weird society
that can't accept certain things,
but there's nothing wrong with

SOCIAL STUDIES

People see me on Instagram and

be himself and to be ambitious,
healthy and on my level —someone

entertaining who makes me laugh.

GRAPHIC CONTENT

My other passion, besides model-
ing, is drawing. If I weren't model-
ing, I'd be making comic books. |
grew up wanting to be Tank Girl.

HEAVY PETTING

1 have two cats. One is all black;

the female body. We as women
need to embrace ourselves. We
can't be scared of being naked.

assume I'm wild, but | never go
out.It's not my thing. I'm open, but
I don't really put my life out there.

There's nothing wrong with it.

MY PERFECT NIGHT

There's this place that | love in the
city of La Romana in the Domini-
can Republic—a cute little restau-
rant that’s a shack on the beach.
They sell grilled fish with a little
pastry called yaniqueque, which

I'm a bit of a private person.

LADIES FIRST

Michelle Obama said our first
job is to get to know ourselves,
especially when we are in our
20s. She's right. Life is a big
mess! Well, not really a mess; it's
just that there's so much to learn

his name is Space. The other one |

everyone should try. It's just fried

y

@nereyda_bird

about yourself.

IN THE FUTURE, DRUGS HAVE RENDERED SLEEP UNNECESSARY.
BUT IN THE DREAMVERSE, WHERE CUR MINIMUM-WAGE HEROES
WORK TO STOP DREAM BEINGS FROM BECOMING REAL,

ONE OF THOSE CREATIONS —STAR—IS ON A RAMPAGE

MARITZA CAMPOS ART ВАСНАМ

COME OUT,
YER GONNA
LIKE IT!

SHE'S AN ACTION MOVIE CHARACTER.
THAT MEANS SHE NEVER RUNS OUT.

WAIT, THOSE
RULES APPLY
HERE TOO?

YOU MEAN YOU НАМЕМТ
SEEN THE MOVIES? LOCK AT ME,
SHE'S BASICALLY Im USELESS.
INVINCIBLE! LIKE BUGS
BUNNY OR CHUCK NORRIS!

| PREFER
HISTORICAL
DRAMAS.

SORRY, ALL | CAN
THINK ABOUT AT
THIS MOMENT

YEAH, KAFKA. WHY DON'T! | SHOULO USE MY CHARMS ON
YOU SUMMON GODZILLA | HER. | HEARD SHE'S
OR SOMETHING? VULNERABLE TO THAT.

TIN
DEALING WITH
STAR ANYWAY?.

SHE'S LIKE...
THE DAUGHTER
OF AN AZTEC

GOP AND
STUFF!

APPARENTLY, SHE CROSSED OVER TO
THE REAL WORLD AND BURNED
THREE NUNNERIES TO THE GROUND.

THAT WAS
SUPPOSED

y, IF THE
EXPERT IS KILLED,

WHO"
THE NEW EXPERT?

WERE GOING TO
TRY AND MAKE
THIS EASY FOR YOU,
OKAY?

D THE Mans
SENT YOU,
DIDN'T THEY??

OH, THAT'S A NEW NOOO, | MEAN IT! 1 KNOW | LOOK HARMLESS,
ONE, ALL RIGHT. BUT BELIEVE ME, | CAN TOTALLY K/££ YOU
WITH MY AUMONGOUS LETHAL GUN.

ШҮ VW

1 MEAN,
| WOKE YOU UP,
AND NOW YOURE
AWAKE AND CAN

OH, NO DOUBT, мя.

SPENCER. BUT WE

HAVE TO CUT YOUR
SESSION SHORT.

IM AFRAID | HAVE A... UH, AM | STILL GOING TO GET п !DOOOOON'T
MEDICAL APPOINTMENT. PAID FOR THE HOURS? CAAAAAARE 2
! MUST GO NOW. THIS IS NOT MY FAULT!

WAIT, WAIT! DID YOU KNOW
ARMOR. 15 GOING
TO BE DISBANDED BY THE GOVERNMENT
SOON AND YOU'RE GOING
TO HAVE TO GO ROGUE?

YEH, NICE TRY,
SHOE-FACE. IT'S TRUE!
YOU CAN CHECK IT,
THEY LEAKED THE
SCRIPT ONLINE!

WAIT, WHAT:
WHO'S GONNA MAY ME,
THE!

GREAT. ý MAYBE...
WHAT THE HECK am ı WE COULD
SUPPOSED TO 00 WOW? / CATCH A MOVIE?

FOR MORE

ADVENTURES

IN SLEEP DEPRIVATION,
VISIT.
POWERNAPCOMIC.COM.

PLAYBOY PROFILE

STEVEN

PINKER

This man is on a mission to convince you that, despite how bad it looks, civilization is working.
Who knew optimism could be such a hard sell?

What if all our kvetching about the sheer
misery of life on Earth is, in fact, self-
perpetuating hooey? What if humanity
healthier, wealthier, happier, safer, bet-
ter educated and more peaceful than ever
before? What ifthere truly
to be alive than right now?

is no greater time

Steven Pinker—professor of psychology at
Ha rd University, two-time Pulitzer Pri
finalist and author of more than 10 books about
human behavior and instinct—has written
that the idea of the present as a dystopia marked
only by decay and suffering is wrong
ong, couldn't-be-

wrong, flat-earth w
more-wrong.” We're flourishing, he

argues. Not only that, but our bound-
less cynicism has left us vulnerable to dema-
gogues who weaponize ambient anxiety and use
it to justify dangerous agendas.

Pinker’s latest book, Enlightenment Now:

The Case for Reason, Science, Humanism,
and Progress, is an encomium for the present.
Rather than blindly panicking, he suggests we
focus on “the historical sweep of progress,” with
an eye toward its perpetuation. “Every measure
of human well-being has shown an increase,”
he told me recently. “You can’t appreciate that
reading the newspapers, because news is usu-
ally about things that go wrong. You never have
areporter standing in front of a school, saying,
‘Here I am, reporting live in front of a school
that hasn’t been shot up today.’”

Taking a formal tour of the United Nations
with a man who holds nine honorary doctor-

sy AMANDA
PETRUSICH

PHOTOGRAPHY BY

JOSHUA ALLEN HARRIS

ates (in addition to an actual doctorate, from
Harvard, in experimental psychology)
real for a handful of reasons, chief among

ur-

them being that he knows the right answer
to every single question the guide as|

Pinker, wearing black cowboy boots, jeans
and a blue sweater, played it cool—he always
waited to see i se felt like ventur-
ing a guess first. Then he'd slowly raise a
hand and delivera casual but terrifyingly pre-
cise answer: There are 193 member nations.
There have been 10 rogue nuclear tests since
the Comprehensive Nuclear
Test Ban Treaty of 1996. The
UN has identified 17 sustain-
able development goals to be

anyone e

achieved over a 15-year period that began in
2016. Our guide regarded us with suspicion.
When Pinker wasn'tanswering her questions,
we were chattering at each other, trailing the
group, pausing to take pictures—in Pinker's
words, two “bad students."

Enlightenment Now includes dozens of
charts and matrices, some of which display
data collected by the UN. But it's the organi-
zation's very existence that best confirms the
book's arguments. As we wandered its hall-
ways, Pinker pointed to the UN's sustainabil-
ity goals (which include eradicating extreme

poverty and hunger, reducing child mortal-
ity, ending gender discrimination, ensur-
ing clean water and sanitation, and more) as
evidence of a secular-humanist morality—a
plain, shared sense of right and wrong that
exists independent of institutions. *The

concept of human rights hinges on the fact
that we all have universal needs," Pinker
explained after we'd retreated to a café in
the basement of the building. *We'd all pre-
fer to be alive than dead, well-fed than starv-
ingand healthy than sick, and we all want our
kids to grow up, and everyone agrees that lit-
eracy is a good thing. So if we can combine
universal human interests with a universal
capacity for reason, we can define a bedrock
that all humans share and that you can build
a morality around."

Pinke seeded the notion of a shared
ethic in his 2002 book, The Blank Slate: The
Modern Denial of Human Nature. "The point
ofthat book was to push back against the idea
blank slate, not to deny that cultures dif-
he said. *Obviously they differ, but I
think beneath all of that variation there is a
universal human nature given to us by evolu-
tion, and that helps ground concepts likeuni-
versal human rights."

In many ways, Enlightenment Now feels
like the apotheosis of Pinker's research. The
book is in direct conversation with each of his
previous titles but especially with 2011s The
Better Angels of Our Nature: Why Violence
Has Declined, in which Pinker charts massive
declines in violence of all forms and suggests
that we’ve finally become more valuable to
each other alive than dead. Bill Gates called it
the “most inspiring book” he'd ever read. Mark
Zuckerberg chose it as the second selection for
his book club. Enlightenment Now elaborates
on—and amplifies—its premise.

10

Г

| ща 2

"Once you take a quantitative mind-set
instead of basing your view of the world on
headlines, it's not just violence that's in
decline; all these other measures of human
well-being have improved, like life span, like
poverty," Pinker said. "Very few people are

aware that the percentage of the world that's
inastate of extreme poverty has fallen from
90 percent of the world being poor 200 years
ago to 10 percent today."

The book was conceived and partially writ-
ten before the 2016 election, but the rise of
Donald Trump is predicted in its pages.
Pinker believes the ideas that inadvertently
helped the current administration take
office—that the world is in terrible shape,
that the whole system deserves to crumble—
are perpetuated by both the left and the right.
Those ideas include “pessimism about the
way the world is heading, cynicism about the

institutions of modernity, and an inability
to conceive of a higher purpose in anything
other than religion," he writes. Trump both

proves Pinker's point—this is what happens
when we're subsumed by fear—and makes it

harder to argue that the present moment is
actually a victory.

“November 8, 2016 did require something
of a rethink of the book," Pinker admitted.
“1 was in the middle of writing it. I'd con-
ceived it back when Donald Trump was just

kind of a joke, a reality-TV star. I could not
have dreamed he would be president, and it
certainly meant that any narrative that said
we're in the midst of a period of progress
needed a bit of qualification." He described
Trump's agenda as “almost the opposite of the
dream of the Enlightenment as manifested
in the United Nations, among other things—
namely, that we're all human, nations and
governments are just conveniences, we're
not primarily Frenchmen or Americans or

Russians but human beings and that what
we each want as individual humans we can
only achieve if we cooperate on a global scale.
Donald Trump hates the UN. His idea is that

12

America comes first and every nation is іп a
zero-sum conflict with every other nation."

Pinker was born in 1954 in a Jewish com-
munity in Montreal. He got his bachelor's
degree at McGill University and moved to
imbridge, Massachusetts for graduate
school in 1976. After receiving his Ph.D. from
Harvard, he completed a postdoctoral fellow-
ship at the Massachusetts Institute of Tech-

nology and ended up teaching there for 21
years. (In 2003 he left MIT for his current po-
sition at Harvard.) He married his third wife,
novelist and philosopher Rebecca Goldstein,

in 2007 and now has two stepdaughte
He has a distinctive puff of curly white hz

ir

and blue eyes, and is recognized more or less
constantly as we navigate various areas of the
UN—by the uniformed security guard man-
ning the metal detectors, by a young Norwe-

gian man on our tour, by an employee who
tentatively but excitedly scurries over while

we're drinking coffee and eating crumb
near the gift shop. Part of this, he 2

me, is because of YouTube. Many of his lec.
tures and talks are archived online. (A video
“а window

in which he describes language as
iding the brain" h:
nearly a million times.) During each encoun-

to unde: veen viewed

nd then defer-

ter, his acolytes appear dazec
ential. It is as if they believe they're meeting
the man who can save them.

Although his work has been widely lauded—

in 2004, Time named him one of the most in-
fluential people in the world—it's not without
vocal detractors. Following the publication of
The Better Angels of Our Nature, the statis-
tician Nassim Taleb argued that what Pinker
interprets as the “long peace" (a term Pinker
borrowed from the historian John Gaddis) of

the past several decades is really just a statis-
tical blip and no guarantee of future safety

Taleb also lambasted Pinker for assuming
“that the statistics of the 14th century can
apply to the 21st.” Pinker, who does not back
off from lively debate, eventually responded
that Taleb had thoroughly misunderstood the
book and that “accurate attribution and cari
ful analysis of other people’s ideas are not his

strong suits.”

Others have argued that Pinke all for
a return to the ideals of the Enlightenment,
which he defines in the new book's subtitle as
۴

son, science, humanism and progress,”
fails to account for the atrocities the Enlight-
enment enabled. In a 2015 essay for The
Guardian, the scholar and author John Gray
writes, “You would never know, from read-
ing Pinker, that Nazi ‘scientific racism’ was

based in theories whose intellectual pedigree
goes back to Enlightenment thinkers such as
the prominent Victorian psychologist and
eugenicist Francis Galton.”

InJanuary, the day before Pinker and I met,
a video surfaced in which Pinker, speaking
atanevent at Harvard, referred to *the often
highly literate, highly intelligent people who
gravitate to the alt-right" and observed that.
they were both “internet savvy" and “media
savvy." That might seem innocent enough—
he was merely stating that it's dangerous to
dismiss the opposition as a gang of drool-
ingthugs—except the alt-right chose to seize
on it as a benediction. The white nationalist
Richard Spencer retweeted the video. The
Daily Stormer, a neo-Nazi website, published
an article with the headline BIG NIBBA HAR-
VARD JEW PROFESSOR ADMITS THE ALT-RIGHT
IS RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING. Jesse Singal,
writing in The New York Times, used the ker-
fuffle as an object lesson about the dangers
of decontextualized misinformation, per-
petuated endlessly via social media. Pinker
saw larger forces at play: “It really stems from
a political tribalism in which each side is so
convinced of its rightness and the evil of its
enemy that it resorts to any tactic, includ-
ing dishonest doctoring of records and vitri-
olic name-calling, to stoke outrage and tribal
loyalty. You also see it in cable news, political
rallies, books, partisan websites.”

Still, the episode had its upside. "I'd be all

too happy if alt-right men checked out my
book, hoping for support. At best I might de-
convert some of them to classical liberalism.
At worst they'd get a rude shock.”
Somehow I manage to make an absurd
suggestion—let’s go ice-skating at Rocke-
feller Center!—seem like a reasonable follow-
up to our UN visit. It was vaguely relevant,
after all, to our conversation: The rink was
beset by an enormous Christmas tree on one
end and a golden statue of Prometheus, the
mythological Greek Titan sometimes known
as the God of Forethought, on the other.
Pinker was down.

We laced up our rental skates in something
called a “heated igloo” and shoved off. Of
course, interviewing someone while cruising
around a frozen puddle on sharpened metal
blades is a fool’s errand, and it didn’t help
that he was cutting graceful circles around
the ice while I was half waddling, half lung-
ing and frightening the small children in
my path. After a few laps, we retreated to
a nearby restaurant for a round of drinks.
What I wanted to know was: What happens

next? How do we circumvent whatever in-
stinct causes us to crave catastrophe or at
least its attendant drama?

“I think there certainly is a thirst for the
dramatic, the catastrophic, but there’s also
a thirst for morality tales, particularly mo-
rality tales in which one's own tribe is on the
sideofthe angels and there's some evil enemy
to blame misfortune on," he explained.
"There's great satisfaction taken in comeup-
pance to a villain. A lot of entertainment has
a hero who gets in trouble and faces an ad-
versary. The adversary has a temporary vic-
tory but in the end is vanquished. I think we
like reality that conforms to that kind of dra-
matic archetype."

In Enlightenment Now, Pinker comes down
with surprising force on institutions I'd pre-
viously thought of as plainly noble, including
mainstream environmentalism, as conceived
in the 1970s and perpetuated by figures like
Al Gore (“greenism is laced with misan-
thropy, including an indifference to starva-

“PD ВЕ ALL
TOO HAPPY IF
ALTRIGHT
MEN CHECKED
OUTMY BOOK."

tion, an indulgence in ghoulish fantasies of a
depopulated planet, and Nazi-like compari-
sons of human beings to vermin, pathogens
and cancer," he writes), and contemporary
journalism (*Whether or not the world really
is getting worse, the nature of news will in-
teract with the nature of cognition to make
us think that it is"). But given an instinctive
hunger for turmoil, how do we overturn the
old axiom “If it bleeds, it leads"?

“А responsible journalist who believes that
they have a mission to expose problems and
tell of people suffering also has to include
cases in which problems are solved and im-
provements occur," Pinker said, *Otherwise,
life sucks and then you die. Which licenses
fatalism: Why try to make the world a bet-
ter place if people will screw it up no mat-
ter what you do? That thinking really saps
any commitment or application of ingenuity
to solving problems. What I would advocate
is definitely not balancing the terrorist at-
tacks with puff pieces but rather to highlight
what goes right. It's not fluff if fewer kids
are starving to death. It's not fluff if Guinea
worm is being eliminated. It's not fluff if the
rate of homelessness has gone down."

If journalism doesn't correct itself—and
Pinker believes it can—it's on the rest of us
not to perpetuate false and hysterical ideas
about the state of the world. Reorienting is a
complicated and personal process but hardly
impossible: “The question is not how do you
make us perfect but how do you bring out the
parts of us that can cooperate, can plan for
the future and empathize and organize our
affairs so that those parts of human nature
arein control?"

As we finished our drinks, I asked Pinker
if he considered himself an optimist. His
work, after all, advocates for the recognition
of human dexterity and wisdom—on giving
equal time to all the things we get right. "I
probably am, by temperament," he admit-
ted, then reminded me that his work is all
based on data; he's simply pointing out the
facts. And the facts can change. We're better
off now, but that doesn't protect us from set-
backs and regression.

*One of the reasons I didn't call the book
Progress or A Manifesto for Progress or Three
Cheers for Progress or Progress Rocks is that
progress isn't an inexorable force," he said.
"There are certain ideas and values that have
given us the progress we've enjoyed so far,
and if we redouble our efforts and our com-
mitmentto those values, then progress could
continue. And if we don't, they won't." With
that, he drained his beer and smiled. п

из

Ishould have fought harder on the title of my
real-vid series. The glittering, animated logo
declaring Space Race: Kat's Chase is driv-
ing me crazy, always twirling in the corner of
the livestream from Hawk Five. On the bright
side, the visual pollution does help distract
me from my livingsituation: tiny habitat pod,
stale recycled air, chilly and cramped. Phys-
ical discomfort is a trifle when compared to
this constant, insulting eyesore.

Idon't even like glitter.

Could have been worse, though. Signing
off on that dumb title meant I didn't have to
wearthe bikini that wardrobe very generously
called a “flight suit." I may be stranded, but
at least I'm wearing enough fabric to cover
my entire body. It's been averaging 60 below
zero outside, and the pod's heaters are work-
ing full-time to keep me alive.

It’s true, Kat's Chase did make me—Katrina
Shao—a household name overnight. But I
never cared about being famous.

If anyone should be famous, it's Beatrice
Soltana. And she will be. Oh, the irony.
Ididn't know her name at first. For weeks be-
fore the race started, she was just “the third
Lunar ship," and that was enough. I didn't
want to know any of my competitors too well
and risk actually caring about them.

My first sight of Beatrice's ship was a vid
from an Earth telescope, when Jayden—oh
boy, Jayden, that's a whole other story—asked
me to comment on the vehicle configuration.
We'd been doing this with all the other racers,
me wanting to drop some science education
on my viewers, Jayden just encouraging me
to trash-talk my competition. After several
dozen of these “design reviews,” it was start-
ingto get old. But then I saw the rock-ship.

Lunar Three wasn't built for looks. Not like
my sleek, sexy Hawk Five, which had been
focus-grouped to death before construction.
Beatrice's ride was a hodgepodge of half a
strip-mined asteroid, solar panels jutting out at
seemingly random angles, and habitat and en-
gine modules held in place by melted rock flows.
There’s no need for aerodynamic vehicles when
you live in hard vacuum. I was fascinated. And
we got two whole episodes out of Zaprudering
those long-distance views of her ship.

I was so focused on the hardware, I didn’t
realize what Jayden was doing to my ship's

ILLUSTRATIONS BY ANDREW ARCHER

FICTION

sy CURTIS C. CHEN

software. I'd gotten used to just accepting every
boring update patch from Earth. And why
wouldn'tItrust my own producer and ex-lover?

He knew Beatrice's ship was close enough
to intercept my transmissions back to Earth.
He knew she wouldn't be able to resist eaves-
dropping on my raw feed when she realized the
stream was using an outdated encryption key.
And he guessed—correctly—that she wouldn't
immediately check the video data for an em-
bedded Trojan designed to infiltrate her ship's
computer, because my outlandish specula-
tions about her spacecraft design would be too
annoying for her to ignore.

While I explained that one of Beatrice's hab
modules could be a hydroponics bubble, the
secondary comms display next to my camera
litup. Iwas hanging upside down at the time—
viewers love stupid zero-gravity tricks—and I
had to rotate the screen to read her message:

ARE YOU GIVING DELIBERATE MISINFORMA-
TION OR JUST STUPID THAT'S MY WATER CYCLE
REPRESS GET IT RIGHT OR SHUTUP

I was a little surprised, thinking she had
hacked my comms, but actually felt flattered
that she'd gone to the trouble. After finishing
my broadcast, I messaged her back: IF YOU CARE
SO MUCH, WHY NOT SEND ME SOME BLUEPRINTS?

She replied: sHOULD HAVE BROUGHT YOUR
OWN PORN

That was confusing. GET YOUR MIND OUT OF
THEGUTTER. WHO SAIDANYTHING ABOUT PORN?

YOU SAID "BLUE PRINTS," ISN'T THAT SLANG
FOR DIRTY PICTURES?

SCHEMATICS! I MEANT SCHEMATICS OF YOUR
SHIP!

OHWELL MY ANSWERIS STILL NO

It was the funniest thing I'd experienced
in weeks.

After two days of cajoling, she agreed to
talk to me on a live vid link—off the record,
of course. I understood her reluctance, and it
took a lot of work to convince her, but I was just
so bored. I didn't think I'd feel so lonely, with
half the Solar System watching me. But having
an audience isn’t the same as having friends.

“So how many markers have you tagged
today?” I asked. Finding the radio beacons
hidden around the asteroid belt was by far the
most challenging part of Space Race.

Beatrice scowled at me. She was lean and
dark, with short-cropped hair. “Not-gonna
tell you, Earther.” Her voice lilted as her Lunar

accent ran words together and emphasized the
wrong syllables.

“Come on, I’m not asking you where you
found them,” I said. “Just give me a number.
Tm curious.”

She stared at me, then said, “Twelve more
today. You?”

1414 my best to hide my surprise. The score-
board had shown me in the lead yesterday, but
if she was telling the truth, I was now down
by four.

“Not quite that many," I said. “But I'm right
on your ass, Bea. Don't get cocky."

“Your trajectories are inefficient,” she said.
“Perhaps your sensors are also inadequate.”

I folded my arms. “I spent six years at
Caltech designing deep-space probes. I'm
pretty sure I know what I'm doing."

“I grew upon Luna,” she said, as if that were
an equivalent credential.

“Right,” I said. “That would explain the
poor social skills.”

“We value privacy. I do-not understand how
you can do your stupid show.”

“I'm sorry, do you mean the top-rated real-
vid series Space Race: Kat's Chase? I do it be-
cause they're paying the bills. Who are your
sponsors?" I hadn't seen any logos adorn-
ing her rock-ship, but I could understand
brands not wanting to be associated with that
monstrosity.

*I'm independent."

"Sitting on a nice trust fund, were you?"

"I don't-know what that is."

Now I'm frowning. “Нож did you pay for
your ship?"

"That's private."

"Really. Tell me again how your great re-
spect for privacy led you to hack into my
communications?"

She gave me a funny look. "You're beaming
signal straight-at-me with old ciphers. It's а1-
most like you were asking me to eavesdrop."

Ikept a poker face while cursing on the in-
side. “Well, you know. Good science is all
about sharing information."

“Very-well,” Beatrice said. “Why-don't you
share your next destination with me?"

Iwas tempted for a split second—Let 5 make
an actual race of it!—but then I remembered
Iwas behind by four markers. “I thought I was
inefficient.”

“[ just wanted to beat you there and prove-it."

Not a chance, Lunar. “Oh, hey, look at the

time. It's been real, Bea, but I gotta go do my
show. Peace." I didn't wait for her to respond
before clicking off.
I never wanted to compete in Space Race. It
always seemed like just another way to churn
content for advertising overlays. But after six
years of expensive higher education, I was
running out of grants for postgraduate stud-
ies and my job prospects were nonexistent.

Then Jayden—stupid, sexy Jayden, who
had already talked me into sharing a bed and
then an apartment, and was already getting
hefty employment offers straight out of film.
school—suggested I look into Space Race.

Space Race is officially known as the
Gaveshana Spacefaring Foundation Stock Pro-
pulsion Time Trial. Once every 10 years, the
foundation supplies 100 identical spacecraft
engine systems and runs a lottery to pick 100
qualified pilots, who build the best vehicles
they can around each engine, within very strict
mass limits. Then Gaveshana makes those pi-
lots run their spacecraft ragged around the as-
teroid belt until one comes out on top.

But win or lose, you got to keep your engine.
That was a golden ticket out of Earth’s grav-
ity well.

Every other door was being slammed in my
face. Space Race was the only game in town
that didn’t care about your background, as long
as you passed all the written tests and qualified
in the simulator, Everything was anonymized,
color blind, as purely merit-based as the foun-
dation could make it. Anyone in the Solar Sys-
tem was welcome to try out. The sponsors just
wanted some gating factors to minimize the
chances that you would get yourself killed.

Ididn’t really expect to qualify. I don't know
what I scored on the exams. I don’t know how
many other people were in the drawing. All I
know is, my lottery number was selected on a
live vid broadcast, and the next day I was ac-
cepting delivery of my very own Erickson
Exotech power plant.

And literally five minutes after that, Holly-
wood called.

Nobody races without some kind of finan-
cial backing. Building a spaceship is a pricey
proposition. But the fewer backers you have,
the less time you need to spend reassuring
each one that you're doing the right thing
every step of the way. Jayden convinced me
that we were being smart, signing with
Quantum Sheep Entertainment—he would
be hired as my producer, and we'd be dealing
with only one corporate entity for any an-
cillary rights and sublicensing deals. QSE's

PILOTS RUN THEIR
SPACECRAFT RAGGED AROUND
THE ASTEROID BELT UNTIL
ONE COMES OUT ON TOP.

studios were even nearby, right in Pasadena.

With built-in cachet as the youngest Space
Race competitor and the only woman pilot from.
Earth, all I had to do was smile for the cameras
and let QSE turn my life into whatever narra-
tive they thought would get the most eyeballs.

What's the old proverb? *Can't shake the

devil's hand and say you're only kidding.”
As soon as I clicked off with Bea, I recorded a
profanity-laden vid in which I told Jayden ex-
actly what I thought of him messing with my
ships communications software. Unfortu-
nately, I didn’t have the expertise to undo his
latest patch, so all I could do was yell into a
camera lens.

His reply to me—which came long after I
had time to cool down—was typical Jayden,
soothing apology sliding into empty promises.
Iknew he was lying through his perfect teeth,
but I could never resist those twinkling eyes.
And I still needed him to produce my show.

There ought to also be a proverb about sleep-
ing with the devil, because I've found that gen-
erally doesn’t work out well either.

I should have suspected something when
Jayden asked me to open my next show with
yet another visual assessment of Lunar
Three's exterior. He fed me some line about
getting an actual thruster count, since the
rock-ship's engines were hidden in shadowed
nooks and crannies, and this upcoming retro
burn could be my last chance to see them.

“Keep your friends close and your enemies
closer, right?” he said with a wink. I gave in.

Itwas day seven, and only 19 racers were still
competing. Beatrice and I were in a dead heat
for first place. We had each verified 80 mark-
ers on the scoreboard—more than any past
winners—and now we had to start thinking

about getting to the finish line. If we ended up
tied on markers, we'd be judged by how much
mass we had burned during the race, and that
was secret information. Saving fuel might be
more important at this point.

Both Hawk Five and Lunar Three were near-
ingalargeasteroid that we could use asa gravity
slingshot to accelerate out of the belt. Beatrice
had crept to within five kilometers of me—
closer than safety guidelines recommended,
but she was one heck of a pilot. Not that I would
ever admit it to her face. Or on camera.

I knew something was wrong when I saw
Beatrice in her spacesuit, crawling around the
outside of her main reactor's heat sink. I tried
to raise her оп comms, but she didn't respond.

The explosion would have blinded me if my
screen hadn't auto-polarized, blotting out the
brightest portion of the blast with a shivering
black circle. I blinked away tears and read my
other instruments, checking for stray debris
that might collide with Hawk.

*Confirmed. Lunar Three is completely de-
stroyed," I heard myself saying. *My readings
indicate there was a power surge that caused
an overload...”

Except that's impossible, I thought. The
power plant wouldn’t have gone critical; the
fail-safes would have shut it down. I know this
engine inside and out.

And so does Jayden.

I reviewed my communication logs as soon
as the broadcast ended. I found the computer-
virus signature after scrolling back to my first
tightbeam chat with Beatrice. It was hidden
in the data stream, and only one person could
have put it there. Jayden.

I couldn’t even have a proper shouting
match with him, since it took a full hour for
my messages to reach Earth and another hour

n6

for me to receive any reply. But I unloaded
every swear word I knew and threatened to
turn him in to the authorities. He reminded
me why I couldn't.

“АП your comms go through my control
room," Jayden said, a crocodile smile smear-
ing across his too-smooth face. “Look, it was
an accident. I didn't mean to blow up the ship.
I just wanted to cause some engine trouble,
slow her down and give you alittle advantage.”

“I don’t need your help, asshole,” I sent
back. “And J’m the one in control. I can turn
off every camera in here and kill the show.”

“You stop the cameras, you're in breach of
contract," Jayden said. “Come on. I'm help-
ing here. I've been reading up on the compe-
tition, and all you joystick jockeys have the
same blind spot: software. That's my spe-
cialty. Magic fingers, remember?" He held
up both hands, palms toward himself, and
wiggled his fingers. It had seemed cute once,
but now it made my skin crawl. *Bottom line,
you're in the lead now, and your top priority is
winning this race. Nothing else matters until
you're back on that carrier. Jayden out."

Iwanted to put my fist through his head, but
Icouldn't. Instead, I put on a spacesuit, went
outside—we already had plenty of B-roll foot-
age of me doing all kinds of EVA, so I was safe
from the cameras for at least a few minutes—
and turned off my radio and screamed into the
void until I was hoarse.

I had no warning when Beatrice crashed

into me from behind.
Gaveshana's rules for Space Race are simple:
one person per spacecraft, stock propulsion
system, overall vehicle mass limit, first pilot
to rendezvous with the most rally markers
and then cross the finish line in time wins.
No resupply during transit, no support vehi-
cles, no remote power except for solar panels.
If something goes wrong during Space Race,
you fix it yourself. If you can't fix it, you're
done. It's a test of skill, endurance and more
thana little luck.

This decade's course was the most challeng-
ing to date: Starting at the Lagrangian point
ahead of Mars in its orbit around the Sun,
each racer had just 10 solar days to search
the asteroid belt for 100 scattered short-
range radio markers, then navigate back out
to the Lagrangian point trailing Mars. The
Gaveshana carrier from which we launched
would take a leisurely trip around the Mars
quarantine zone to meet us at the finish line.

During the race, I would stream uninter-
rupted raw vid back to Earth for Team Kat to
edit into daily broadcasts. This was a bit of an

innovation on Jayden's part: Most racers jeal-
ously guarded their methods, but I wasn’t plan-
ning to make a career of this. I had no problem
kissing and telling, as long as it didn’t handicap
my performance. I still wanted to win.

The first five days saw nearly half the start-
ing racers either drop out, burn out or simply
go missing. There’s a lot of empty space out
here to get lost in. And one of the Venus flyers
deployed a whole fleet of decoy radio drones in
the first hour. It wasn't technically against the
rules—they weren't directly interfering with
anyone's navigation systems—and a lot of rac-
ers ended up chasing the wrong radar blips.

Beatrice and I both had state-of-the-
art passive sensors and signal-processing
computers—systems that less prudent pilots
might have skimped on—and were able to pick
out the genuine markers from the fake ones.
We flew in meandering paths, so no one else
could follow us easily, but kept ending upatthe
same rocks. It was unavoidable: You add two
and two and you're going to get four, no matter
what kind of calculator you're using.
Beatrice's inertia toppled us both forward, but
my safety tether kept us from drifting away. I
spenta few seconds wrestling uselessly in zero
gravity, until she clanged her spacesuit hel-
met against mine. Her voice vibrated through
our touching visors.

“Permission to come-aboard,” she said.

“Beatrice!” I shouted. “You’re—but—how?”

“Opened exterior access right-before reac-
tor blew,” she said. “Hull panel separated and
shielded me from the blast. Big-rock’s grav-
ity pulled me in, and suit-jets had just enough
juice to maneuver to you. Glad you didn't
change course."

“You're alive!" I laughed and slapped her
shoulder. She wasn't smiling. *Oh. God. I'm
so sorry about your ship. It wasn't—I mean, I
didn't —"

She nodded, her lips a tight line. “I-know.”

Dammit. Jayden had never re-encrypted
my comms. Beatrice must have seen our en-
tire shouting match.

*He'saslimeball." I didn'teven want to say his
name. “But ГП make sure he faces the music."

“How?”

“One thing at a time. Let’s go inside. We
need to show everyone you’re alive.”

She shook her head. “Heck-no. I don't want
to beon-TV."

The privacy thing again. “You can’t stay out
here."

“Га rather stay-here than be on your show."

"Always nice to meet a fan," I grumbled.
“Fine. ГП go in first, smash the camera in the

airlock, and youcan hang out there. But Hawk
isn't built for two people. We need to send a
distress call so someone can come rescue you."

“There's no-one in-range."

Iwas getting angry now. *Fine! Then I need
your help to get both of us to the finish line in
this ship!"

She shook her head. *That may not be
possible."

“It’s just a stupid engineering problem," I
said. “We’ll find a solution. Let's go inside and
we'll figure it out."

There was another surprise waiting for us in-
side Hawk Five: an alert from Gaveshana can-
celing Space Race.

They had located one of the missing racers.
Apparently he had convinced himself that
several markers were hidden inside a passing
comet and gotten stupid in his excitement.
He had misjudged his approach and crashed
through the comet, breaking it into pieces and
deflecting it from its original orbit. Now there
was a huge slew of ice and rock headed toward
our finish line.

The cometary debris field was too massive
for Gaveshana to clear. The carrier had to
change course to avoid deadly collisions, which
meant all racers had to chase it to its new po-
sition if we wanted to catch our ride back to
Earth. This wasn't a contest anymore. This
was life or death. Gaveshana would stay out
here as long as they could, but they wouldn't
risk an entire carrier for 19 unlucky pilots.

Like every Space Race vehicle, Hawk was
designed to support a single human pilot.
Beatrice and I could stretch our oxygen with
recyclers, and ration food and water for the
next few days, but we just didn't have enough
fuel to push our increased mass to the carrier's
new flight path before our supplies ran out. We
were going to miss the mark by several orders
of magnitude.

“It’s time for the distress call,” I said after
we had spent an hour running simulations and
mainlining instant-coffee bulbs. “QSE has a
whole team of consultants on retainer back
on Earth. Maybe they'll think of something
we missed."

“Ask them about Mars," Beatrice said.

Ifrowned at her. “The what, now?"

She surprised me by pushing herself out of
theairlock and floating overto me. She handed
methe tablet she'd been using. It showed a new
flight plan: Instead of thrusting toward the
Lagrangian point, she had Hawk diverting
into Mars's orbit and slingshotting around the
planet. We still didn't make it to the carrier, but
we got a lot closer. Close enough for rescue.

147

"If we jettison some nonessential hardware
as reaction mass,” she said, “we may-be able
to achieve a high orbit, above the fenceposts."

The Mars terraforming quarantine was en-
forced by an orbital grid of “fencepost” satel-
lites that would sterilize—that is, burn with.
high-powered lasers until nothing organic could
survive—any spacecraft attempting to land on
the planet. It was going to take along time to re-
shape the environment to allow human habi-
tation, and even a few of the wrong microbes
could set the project back by decades. Ares
Amalgamated wasn't going to let that happen.

“This is kind of completely insane,” I told her.

Beatrice shrugged. *Go-big or go-home."

“АП right, Bea!" I gave her a friendly punch
on the shoulder.

She gave me a dirty look. *Please-don't do
that again."

"Sorry." I prepared to record a vid message.
“But since you've overcome your stage fright,
do you want to present this ludicrous scheme
yourself?"

“Heck-no.” She pushed herself away and
drifted back into the air lock. *I don't know
those people."

“Right.” I switched on the camera. Imagin-
ingthe look on Jayden's face put a big grin on
my own. "Surprise, team! Look who's joined
meaboard the Hawk Five. It's Beatrice Soltana
from the Moon, and we have a very interesting
math problem for you."

itial response was not exactly what

Jayden’:
Iexpected.

“This is great!” he gushed. “We thought we'd
have to cancel the show after that alert, but
this is brilliant. You're not just trying to win a
race now. You're both fighting for your lives!”

He went on for a while, explaining how QSE
wanted us to record new promotional footage
and schedule exclusive interviews with news
outlets. I ignored all that and sent our trajec-
tory calculations for a double-check by the
mission control engineers. If Hawk couldn’t
detour around Mars, viewer counts would be
the least of our worries.

It would take no less than two hours to get a
reply from Earth, including the transmission
delay and at least one emergency all-hands
meeting. Normally I'd have been bored stu-
pid, but now I had someone to talk to. Even if
she was a weirdo Lunar who insisted on run-
ning words together for no apparent reason.

“So tell me, Bea,” I said, “what made you
want to enter this race?”

“Cribbage,” she said.

“Come again?”

“Come where?”

THIS WASN'T A CONTEST
ANYMORE. THIS WAS LIFE
OR DEATH. AND ONE OF
US WAS GOING ТО DIE.

Ishook my head. “Just repeat what you said.
Crib-something?”

“Cribbage. It's a card game. Don't-you-
know it?”

*I'm not really into gambling."

She looked offended. “It’s not gambling. It's
math and patterns. Easy-fun. I'll show you."
She unzipped one of her jumpsuit pockets
and pulled out a deck of old-fashioned play-
ing cards.

“So do you always carry those with you,
or”

*Good-luck charm. Now shut-up and learn."
Jayden was considerably less happy the next
time we heard from him. So was I, having lost
the First Interplanetary Invitational Crib-
bage Tournament by several hundred points.

*We need your new best friend to sign some
releases before we can put her on the air,"
Jayden grumbled into the camera. *The egg-
heads are working on a flight plan. We'll get
you that update in a few hours. But we need
Bea's contract back as soon as possible. We
still got a show to make, Kat." His transmis-
sion ended with an attached bolus of legal
documents.

"What does this mean?" Beatrice asked me.

“It means you're going to be famous,” I
said, paging through her contract. "And
they're going to pay you. Not as much as me,
of course —"

“1 don't-want to be on-TV,” she said, push-
ing away from me.

“You do realize we've been streaming vid
this whole time, right? They've already got
youon camera."

“They can-not legally broadcast that footage
unless I agree,” Beatrice said. “And I will-not
sign the release forms."

I stared at her. QSE's bean counters
wouldn't commit resources to our rescue un-
less they could milk maximum profit from
the show, and people weren't going to tune in
forlessthan full high-def vid of both Beatrice
and me. That was the only thing the studio
cared about, in the end: whether they could
sell more advertising. And ads work only if
people are watching.

Can't shake the devil's hand and say you're
only kidding.

Iwouldn'tbe able to convince Beatrice. I saw
it in her stubborn Lunar face; I knew it from
her born-and-bred Lunar attitude toward re-
specting personal boundaries. And even if by
some miracle she did sign, I didn't want her
distracted by thinking about the billions of
people watching her every move.

I had no idea how Beatrice might react to
being under that kind of public scrutiny. I
couldn't have her freaking out. I needed her
expertise. I needed her to focus on our problem.

Focus.

*Don't worry," I said. *You don't have to sign

anything."
Nobody was happy with my solution. I sup-
pose that made it the perfect compromise.
Jayden wasn't happy about all the extra ed-
iting to blur out Beatrice's face wherever it
appeared on camera and disguise her voice
whenever she spoke. I had to catch myself or
record multiple takes more than once to avoid
using her name. And Beatrice wasn't happy
that some parts of her body would still appear
inthe broadcast.

But she wason my ship. Beatrice had yielded
any right to privacy when she boarded, for as
long as she stayed. The show's ratings spiked
as fans circulated all kinds of theories about

из

who my mystery guest was. Meanwhile, we had
even bigger problems.

“The numbers don't look good," said Team
Kat's chief engineer, Dima, in our latest mes-

sage from Earth. “Hawk requires cours

e cor-
rection for a proper insertion orbit around
Mars, but you can't spare the fuel—you'll
need that later. So we have a new procedure.
It requires you to manually jettison reaction
mass. Here's a list of the equipment onboard
you need to collect for disposal..."

Text scrolled across the bottom of the
screen, listing all the hardware we'd have to
dump. My
long list.

“But given the limited velocity you'll be able
to impart manually, that's still not enough
mass," Dim,

stomach knotted. It was an awfully

continued. *You will also need

to remove some sections of the outer hull —"
"Are you kidding me?" I blurted.

but don't worry, it's perfectly safe."
Dima attempted to smile, which only made it
worse. *We'll leave the forward sections intact
just in case you run into any dust or debris.
There will only be cosmetic modifications to
the back half of the ship."

Where the actual engines are!" I said out
loud.
“We've run several simulations," Dima said.

“You don't have a lot of margin for error, so be

very preci
The procedure document is attached. Let us

se when you're ejecting the mass.

know if you have any questions or concerns."
* If?" Beatr
"Pasadena out."

ce said from behind me.

Irecordedar

sponse for air, putting on my
plorer face, pra

best intrepid-ex

ng my sup
portteam and expressing supreme confidence
in their abilities. After that was done, I turned

to Beatrice and said, “We are so going to die.”
ма
pletely insane, but they didn't have to stand
on Hawk's hull and look into her bare metal

be mission control’s plan wasn't com

guts after stripping the ceramic covering off
her amidships and aft sections. It was unnerv-
ing to know that a good third of our spacecraft
would be unarmored as we plowed into Mars's
upper atmosphere.

And then there was the kicking. I’m sure we
looked ridiculous out there, me with my back
against the hull, holding on with both arms
outstretched, kicking objects away from Hawk
as hard as I could. Beatrice crouched next to
me and moved each piece into place against

my boots until we had jettisoned every last

gram we could spare.
We went back inside, and I watched over Be-
atrice's shoulder while she ran the numbers

again. Either one of us could have done it,
but she was faster. I guess growing up in the
Moon's lower gravity really had given her bet-
ter instincts for flight mechanics.

The news was bad. Hawk was still coming
in too steep. We were going to cross the fen-
ceposts surrounding Mars, and they would
melt us into an inert mass before we touched
the surface of the planet. There was no escape
from our fate.

Escape.

“How much mass do we still need to lose?"
I asked.

“By kicking?" Beatrice shook her head.

“Too-much. We can't spare any-more consum-
able not-much of the hull left

, and there's
You're strong, Kat, but you're only-human. We
just-can't-get-enough momentum."

I tapped some numbers into the console.
“What if we could eject this much mass...at
this velocity?”

Beatrice blinked at the screen, then looked
at me. “How?”

“The escape pod,” I said. “It has explosive
bolts to push away from the spacecraft, just in

ase I'm running from an engine overload or
something. Those numbers are just a ballpark,
we'll need to verify them—”

*You-wanna eject me," Beatrice said.

“No,” I said. “We launch the pod empty.
We'rein this together, Bea."
We got so caught up in the work, we didn't even
think to give mission control an update on our
situation. This was probably a good thing: We
wouldn't have wanted their pitiless input on
this new dilemma

The escape pod by itself didn't have enough
mass to complete our course correction. One
of us had to be inside. And given the velocity
‚Hawk would hz

of the pyro charge:

e to eject
her escape pod—with occupant—just as she
hit the edge of Ma atmosphere.

The pod would fall to the surface, through

the fencepc

' no-fly zone.
One of us was going to die.

“I volunteer," Beatrice said.

“No,” I snapped. "No. Let's check this again.
If we change the angle and launch the pod

earlier:

“It's-okay, Kat,” Beatrice said. “I volunteer.”

“No! There's got to bea way to make this work."

"It's-okay," Beatrice repeated in that irri-
tating singsong. "We have a phrase on Luna:
Hard math. Facts are facts. Like in cribbage—
don't have the right cards, you don't score.
Numbers don't lie. Numbers don't care."

"This isn't about numbers!" I smacked the
console, “And you can still mess up in cribbage
if you don't see a pattern that's on the table."
Thad proven that repeatedly. “I'll call Jayden.
Get QSE to pull some strings with Ares Amal-
gamated. They must be able to do a remote
shutdown on those fenceposts.”

“Ares-Am has invested trillions of dollars in
creating a planetary habitat,” Beatrice said.
“You really-think a corporation that size will
care if two people live-or-die? We might-have
both died in the race anyway—”

“Shut up,” I said. “I'm not listening to your
fatalistic crap.”

“You still-have a chance to —"

“La-la-la-la-la,” I said, sticking fingers in
both ears. ^I can't hear you.”

I saw Beatrice’s mouth moving and shook
my head.

“Tam not receiving your signal," I shouted
at her. “Sensors ате offline—"

And then I had one last crazy idea.

*—— important," Beatrice said as I opened
my ears again. “Stop, Kat. Let-me-go."

Imoved around her and started working the
nav console again. *Bea. Question. How many
meteors hit Mars every year?"

“Don't-know. Why—"

“Just take a guess!"

She sighed. *Luna sees at-least one me-
teoroid strike per day. Mars is a larger tar-
get, but its atmosphere shields it. I would.
guess one third as many impacts there. I'm
sure Ares-Am has data from their sensors
on-the-ground."

*Oh, I know they do," I said. *So why don't
the fenceposts vaporize those meteors before
they reach the surface?"

"Because they're not-spacecraft," Beatrice
said.

"And how do the fenceposts know they're
not spacecraft?"

"Because——" Beatrice blinked. “Hump-
me! Because meteors don't emit radio-waves."

“Give that girl a cigar,” I said.

“IT don’t smoke."

“Forget it.” The console lit up with the es-
cape pod’s engineering schematics, and I
moved aside so Beatrice could see where I was
pointing. “We disable the pod’s nav beacon
and the automated distress signal, here and
here. It'll look like just another rock to the

THE CONSOLE LIT UP
WITH THE ESCAPE POD 5
SCHEMATICS. “YOU GET
HELP, THEN RESCUE ME."

fenceposts. I'll survive reentry, and then—"

“Wait-stop.” Beatrice held up a hand. “I
should go. This-is your-ship.”

“You grew up on the Moon,” I said. “Mars’s
gravity is twice what your body can handle.
Your lungs would collapse in less than a day."

Beatrice put a hand on my shoulder and
spoke slowly. *This is your ship."

“That's right." I swallowed the lump in my
throat. “I'm the captain, and I'm giving you
an order. You're a better pilot than I'll ever be,
Lunar. You get Hawk to the rendezvous. You
get some help, and then you come back and
rescue me."

Beatrice's eyes glistened. *Aye, captain."

"And this is still my ship," I said. *You're
just borrowing her. Make sure you fill up the
fuel tank before you return her."

Beatrice laughed, squeezing a tear out of one
eye. I caught the droplet with my sleeve, soak-
ing it up before it could drift away and into any
equipment. “Your producer's not going to be
happy about this.”

“Screw him. He can suck it with a broken
straw.” I grabbed a tablet and scribbled down
six words. “Here. You give him this message
after you're safely aboard the carrier. Not
before."

Ihanded Beatrice the tablet. She read itand
frowned. “I don't-get-it."

“No-worries,” I said, doing my best imita-
tion of Lunar-speak. “He'll get it."

And that’s how I wound up here, all alone on
Mars.

My spacesuit’s recycling unit can extract
oxygen from the atmosphere, there’s enough
humidity for my emergency kit to make liquid
water, and the escape pod contains a generous
supply of awful-tasting but highly nutritious

food rations. I'll be able to survive until I get
rescued. And I will get rescued.

My biggest problem is boredom. Fortu-
nately, even though I can’t talk to anyone, my
comms receiver is still working. So I can watch
my show—no, correction, it’s Beatrice’s show
now. Or, as she's known on air, “Racer X": a
blurry, pixelated head with a gravelly dis-
guised voice.

I seriously love how much Jayden must be
hating this.

Beatrice completed Hawk's orbital sling-
shot around Mars with fuel to spare, and the
constant friction between her Lunar ways
and everyone else's Earther traditions is sim-
ply delightful. She won't take any action un-
less she understands the rationale behind it,
which means someone at mission control has
to explain every one of my spacecraft proce-
dures to her, which usually results in a wacky
misunderstanding. The best part is, Beatrice
wins most of the arguments in the end. And
yes, I'm keeping score.

Hawk Five is now just a few hours from the
carrier rendezvous. After that, Beatrice will
deliver my final message to Jayden. I hope
then she'll understand why it had to be me in
the escape pod.

Jayden might not have sent a rescue mission
back to Mars for Beatrice—some stranger he
doesn't care about—but I know he's still car-
rying a torch for me. Besides, I'm his meal
ticket. He won't let a celebrity castaway die on
his watch. Not when he can use me to sell ads.
And my helmet cam's been recording continu-
ously since I landed.

My message to him was *Space Race 2: Kat
vs. Mars."

I'm sure we can get a full season out of this
lousy place. "

150

At large in the cradle of Weste 4
Roxanna June take Leo = bet u with а the )

Y

CLASSIC PLAYMATES GWEN WONG AND LORRAINE MICHAELS * GAHAN WILSON * BUNNY ON BASE

RITAGE

РОЦЕ PERFEC

ЅехВО on colonies and time travel—the future according to Playboy

sy ELIZABETH YUKO

Imagination has never been in short supply at
PLAYBOY. Throughout the magazine's first four
decades, readers were routinely presented with
possibilities and prognostications about what
the years ahead might hold. That future was
generally bright: Writers imagined that ro-
bots would be a part of lovemaking, that cit-
ies would be built inside 200-story pyramids,
that families would vacation in outer space.
This optimism is perhaps no surprise: The
magazine's postwaraudience (overwhelmingly
young men of means) had little reason to be-
lieve their lives would get anything but better,
and escapism, after all, was a tenet on which
the magazine was founded.

From futuristic tech predictions to sexy
short stories to otherworldly pictorials, a deep.
dive into the magazine's archives provides a
fascinating series of snapshots. Below, a sur-
vey of some of our most interesting imaginings
and forecasts.

PLANES, TRAINS AND ROCKET SHIPS

Given the jet-setting lifestyle most playboys
aspire to, it's no surprise the magazine de-
voted significant column inches to the future
of travel. Science writer David Rorvik dreamed
big in October 1970 with his predictions of
what transportation in the U.S. might look
like by the mid-1980s. His vision of noiseless
pneumatic subways—with passengers shoot-
ing through pipelines beneath the city in cap-
sules traveling up
to 600 mph—bears
some resemblance to
Elon Musk’s Hyper-
loop initiative. Ror-
vik also foresaw the
emergence of electric
cars, though he envi-
sioned them as oper-
ating along rails on
elevated, automated
highways. To access
the roadways, he
imagined you would
"insert your credit card ina roadside meter and
acentral computer instantly checks your credit
and the status of your vehicle.” Sounds a bit like
today’s EZ Pass.

Much less whimsically, in January 1968 re-
nowned inventor and thinker R. Buckmin-
ster Fuller, who coined the phrase spaceship
Earth, envisioned a generation of airplanes
capable of carrying 700 to 1,000 passengers
(at the time, U.S. commercial flights topped
out at around 150). He wasn’t wrong; when
the Airbus A380-800 debuted in 2000 it hada
seating capacity of 853.

¥

HERITAGE

CITY OF THE FUTURE

Previous page: The opening illustration for a 1979 short story by sci-fi legend Arthur C. Clarke.
Above: In 1968, R. Buckminster Fuller imagined that pyramids would be home to the cities of the future.

In August 1991 writers Harriet Bernstein
and Malcolm Abrams put the odds at 50-50 that
by the year 2000 air travel would experience a
“modular” revolution: Ten to 20 passengers
would board a self-contained module at their
local train station, where the module would be
carried by railway to the airport, loaded onto
a plane via conveyor and sent on to its final
destination. The modules could include all
kinds of amenities,
from kitchens to
saunas—but it still
sounds like travel-
inginagiant luggage
compartment. One
thing Bernstein and

Abrams got right:
the advent of self-
parking cars.

Ruminating on computers in 1968's The Mind of the
Machine, Clarke predicts “the merely intelligent machine
will swiftly give way to the ultraintelligent machine.”

THEWRITE STUFF

Who better to field
guesses about the fu-
ture than the writers of science fiction? After
all, as Anthony Boucher (himself a fantasy
writer) noted in a May 1958 think piece, sci
authors are frequently one step ahead of scien-
tists when it comes to imagining the next major
breakthrough. One wonders if he had in mind
writer Arthur C. Clarke, who is credited with
proposing the idea behind geostationary sat-
ellites in 1945 and who later went on to write
2001: A Space Odyssey. PLAYBOY published
short stories by some of sci-fi's biggest names—
some of whom stepped outside the realm of fic-
tion to consider what wild wonders could one

day be. In 1968 Clarke pondered what human-
kind's first contact with aliens might be like in
When Earthman and Alien Meet. A believer in
the existence of extraterrestrials, Clarke coun-
seled that aliens may already be familiar with
us: “There may, of course, be entities who col-
lect solar systems as achild may collect stamps.
If this happened to us, we might never be aware
of it. What do the inhabitants of a beehive know
of their keeper?”

Or perhaps we would meet our interstel-
lar peers while vacationing in space. In a
July 1963 “Playboy Panel” entitled 1984 and
Beyond, sci-fi author Algis Budrys confidently
asserts that his generation’s children will
“doubtless” be able to purchase a ticket to the
moon on acivilian ship as easily as they would
buy an airplane ticket in 1963. Even more as-
pirational, in More Futures Than One, Poul
Anderson envisions “a reassuring view of the
world gone sane by the year 2000, with man
at peace and starting to right the imbalanced
ecosystem.” Diabetes and cancer are cured,
clean power is inexhaustible, robots make
beds and kitchens prepare breakfasts—if only
Anderson’s dreams had come true, what a won-
derful world it could be.

THE FOURTH DIMENSION

When the magazine's fiction writers sunk their
teeth into actual fiction, they often chewed on
aparticular topic: time travel. One of the most
poignant examples is Ray Bradbury's January
1984 story The Toynbee Convector, in which a
130-year-old man who claimed to have trav-
eled to the future discloses that he made up the

162

Above: Noiseless pneumatic
subways that would provide
mass public transportation
and travel faster than a
bullet train are one of many
predictions in David Rorvik's
1970 article The Transport
Revolution, along with
"hoverfreighters" that could
traverse the seas. (Also
sadly unrealized to date: the
funky, barely there futuristic
fashions as envisioned by
illustrator Gray Morrow.)

ited

entire expedition; pretending to have vi
the future allowed him to motivate the people
of his doom-and-gloom present day with tales
of how things would improve, inan Н.С. Wells-
inspired beneficent hoax.

Robert F. Young's July 1973 short story The
Time Machine envisions the first time trav-

eler as an antihero: an unlikable genius who
is "eager to find the doorway to tomorrow" but
has a debilitating drinking problem. H:
ney to “Nowhen” is orchestrated by Time Lab

jour-

researchers who help dry out his future self.

ion

One of the pleasures of time-travel fic
is the inventive vocabulary: In Robert Silver-
berg's June 1983 Needle ina Timestack, “phas-
ing” allows humans to take “time jaunts” tothe
past; though you aren’t supposed to fiddle with
history, it is possible to alter your own time
line—and others’. In this universe, it's possi-
ble to make things “unhappen,” an option we

have all surely dreamed about.

GOOD ROBOT, BAD ROBOT

Nearly 65 years ago short-story writer На:
Crosby’s futuristic sexcapade Roll Out the

Rolov anticipated a time when men and women
would outsource their sexual duties to sexbot
surrogates: literal sex machines. As it turns
out, Crosby wasn't far off; although we haven't

yet created a walking, talking fembot (like the

ones designed to shag Austin Powers), sex tech
s a thriving industry replete with ike,
zable mechanical dolls that can be pro-

customi:

grammed to remember your birthday aswell as

your sexual preferences.

Today's mos

advanced sexbots are in part

made possible via artificial intelligence—a
topic Clarke addressed in December 1968's The
Mind of the Machine. "Thinking machines
will at some point surpass human mental
capacity, but this new breed of ultra-intelligent

machines—“our mechanical offspring"—poses
no threat to humankind. “The societies of man
and machine will interact continuously but
lightly: There will be no areas of conflict.
Industrialist J. Paul Getty, founder of the
Getty Oil Company and at one time the rich-

est person alive, pondered in the January 1966
issue a future society that would include places
for both man and machine. Considering the eco-
nomic angle (naturally), Getty surmised that
millions of human jobs could easily be lost to a
robot workforce. More than halfacentury later,

he has been proven correct many times over.

HITS

The thing about predicting the future is that
if you make enough guesses, some are bound

Above: Eros in Orbit, Arthur C. Clarke's 1992
nonfiction inquiry into “the weightless wonders of

lust in space,” is accompanied by mildly suggestive
artwork by Ron Villani. Left: Arthur Rosch's 1978 short
story Sex and the Triple Znar-Fichi takes readers to
the intergalactic outpost of Flesh-Bargain City and
features an out-of-this-world illustration of nightclub:
going aliens by David Beck

to come true. But in hindsight, asking a vi
sionary like Bill Gates to predict the future,
even in 1994, is kind of cheating. In the July
Playboy Interview, Gates asserts that e-mail
and the internet would soon be used by mil-

lions. (Bingo!) Gates also essentially de-

scribes Netflix years before it was founded:

Say you want to watch a movie. To choose,
you'll want to know what movies others liked
and, based on what you thought of other mov-
ies you've seen, if this is a movie you'd like.
You'll be able to browse that information.
Then you select and get video on demand. Af-
terward, youcan even share what you thought
ofthe movie."

Now, of course, you can watch these movie
ona flatscreen TV...which, you guessed it, had
been foretold in PLAYBOY: The December 1985

issue asked readers to “imagine a screen the

size of present-day projection units but flat,

very thin and self-contained."

„АМО MISSES

PLAYBOY's proverbial crystal ball was often
cloudy. Buckminster Fuller, for ex

ample, imag-
ined in 1968 the ideal “city of the future” as a
metropolis entirely contained within an enor-
mous tetrahedral pyramid (a somewhat sur-
prising structural choice, given that Fuller

The 1978 pictorial Close Encounters of the Fourth Kind takes on alien erotica, imagining a dalliance between a sleek female humanoid and an initially uninterested man.

was the father of the geodesic dome). His vision
of a massive, totally enclosed and climate-
controlled habitat is reminiscent of Dubai's
long-planned Mall of the World, which, like
Fuller's plan, would contain parks and green
spaces along with living quarters. Another
thing the two ideas
have in common:
Neither has become
a reality.

In the November
1968 issue, rocket
engineer Krafft A.
Ehricke looked heav-
enwardand imagined
"Astropolis," a space
resort. His "ultimate
fun city" would fea-
ture hotel pods for
travelers looking for
a little astral enter-
tainment such as
“weightless dancing.” Sounds silly, but in 1968,
with the space race in full swing, it seemed plau-
sible; in fact, the magazine called Ehricke's idea
“a prediction of the highest probability.” Plans
for extraterrestrial tourism are actually in the
works today: Richard Branson’s Virgin Ga-
lactic aims to start commercial flights of his
spaceliner later this year, though his idea is for

Want to fix past mistakes? In Robert Silverberg's 1983
fiction story Needle in a Timestack, it's possible.

there-and-back journeys rather than a travel
package with long-stay accommodations.

CELESTIAL SEX

Naturally the magazine’s pictorials took a
guess at the unknown—albeit with tongue
firmly planted in
cheek. In Girls From
Outer Space, the Au-
gust 1962 PLAYBOY
contemplated fe-
male aliens. The
premise was simple:
“Ifthere actually are
gals out there in our
galaxy, how will the
playboy of, say, 2000
A.D. fare with them
on terra firma?"
The photos imag-
ined these “exotic
extraterrestrials" as
babes in blue, green, silver and red body paint,
with accessories thrown in to add to the fan-
tasy. The topless specimen from Venus, for
example, wears a helmet to supply her with
carbon dioxide at all times.

Notlongafterthe hit movie Close Encounters
ofthe Third Kind premiered, the February 1978
pictorial Close Encounters of the Fourth Kind

continued the alien-sex speculation, depicting
asilvery female ET seducinga man from Earth.
Fortunately for him, according to the text, she
has “the same basic equipment as a human
woman.” In a steamy scene literally, there's
alot of fog—the hairless alien transforms into
abeautiful woman before commencing the sex
act with her previously unwilling partner.
Sexy times in space seem to be the prem-
ise of Through Space and Time With Schwim-
mer and Jones, a Playboy Funnies comic that
ran in the late 1970s and early 1980s. The two
protagonists—named after the strip's cre-
ators, writer Eugene Schwimmer and artist
Randy Jones—encounter many of the same so-
cial situations men face on Earth. In the Octo-
ber 1979 installment, Schwimmer and Jones
awaken on their starship after enjoyinga night
on the town on Planet Nurgo, each discovering
to their surprise that their one-night stands are
covered in hair, slime and eyeballs—a classic
intergalactic beer-goggles situation.

VISION QUESTS

There’sa reason fortune-tellers are a mainstay on
carnival midways: Speculating about the future
is fun. Picking up an early issue of PLAYBOY was
a surefire way to temporarily escape everyday
realities—readers were always a page turn away
from fantasy. Some things never change. п

164

Y

HERITAGE

A Wonderful Weirdness

The offbeat art of cartoonist Gahan Wilson has graced PLAYBOY's pages for six decades

Gahan Wilson's brilliant
collection of creatures—
man-eating monsters,
angry aliens and murder-
minded children, to cite
just a few—has paraded
through PLAYBOY since
March 1958, when the
magazine published its
first full-page color car-
toon by the artist. In that piece, a woman is
shocked to see she has swept up a portion of
her own shadow. Darkly funny, it sits squarely
at the intersection of humor and horror where
much of Wilson's work is found.

“Аз a cartoonist you develop this habit, a
kind of observational skill. You're looking

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for something you can turn into funny," says
Wilson (pictured at left).

Growing up in Evanston, Illinois, he became
fascinated by comic strips and began drawing
cartoons when he was just “ап itsy-bitsy kid,"
he says. Deciding to pursue an artistic career,
he graduated from the nearby School of the Art
Institute of Chicago.

In 1957, Wilson was astruggling artist. While
trying to sell his work to Trump—a short-lived
PLAYBOY-owned title—he got a lucky break
when art director Arthur Paul diverted him
straight to Hugh Hefner's office. At the time,
Wilson had no idea who Hef was but immedi-
ately felt he'd found the right home for his work
when he overheard Hef on the phone insisting
his magazine would remain *pro sin."

Be

‘Remember, one way or another
mystery bait be's using for thos

Thus was born not only a fruitful profes-
sional relationship—PLAYBOY has published
nearly 700 of Wilson’s cartoons, plus fiction
and travelogue pieces—but also a friendship.
(Wilson even became a long-term guest at the
Chicago Mansion.) It helped that Hef, a one-
time aspiring cartoonist himself, took the
form very seriously. “It was marvelous good
luck to work with a guy like that,” Wilson says.

Today, at the age of 88, Wilson still creates
nearly every day. “It’s great fun, a big chal-
lenge,” he says of cartooning. “It’s like agame,
and so satisfying when you get that aha! Ifyou
get a cartoon well finished, it's a triumph."

To enjoy some of those triumphs, turn the
page for an entire spread of our favorite Gahan
Wilson works.—Cat Auer

this trip we find out what
retord-breaking catches!”

Hef personally selected the magazine's cartoons, often marking up drafts with notes on both the art and the copy. Hef was “a very good editor,
very sensible,” Wilson says. Above left: Hef's notes on a Wilson rough sketch. Above right: The final cartoon, with changes incorporated, ran in 2002.

165

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HERITAGE

Welcome to Gahan Wilson's world—beware the sharp edges

"You don't get rid of bim that easy, Mrs. Jacowsky.” "It's obviously what this whole space thing
was about from the first!”

"We've completely taken over Earth’s political systems,
profoundly altered its ecology in our favor, and —
outside of a few nutcases—all of its inhabitants
refuse to admit we even exist!"

Gwen Wong
April 1967 Playmate

“The important thing is to be with a man
with whom I can relax and enjoy myself
by being myself,” said Gwen Wong in her
Playmate interview. At the time, thebru-
nette beauty was a painter, an avid cook
and a jazz fan—not to mention the sec-
ond Asian American Playmate in this
magazine's history. (Fun fact: Gwen's
memorable sexy-preppy Centerfold out-
fit and pose—shown on page 170--шете
emulated by Madonna in an October
1992 Vanity Fair photo by Steven Meisel.)
The five-foot-tall Cocktail Bunny at the
Los Angeles Playboy Glub was selected to
bean elite Jet Bunny, traveling the world
as a flight attendant on Hugh Hefner's
private plane, and later started her own
interior-design business. A renaissance
woman like this deserves a little Shake-
speare: "Simply the thing I am/Shall
make me live."

Y

HERITAGE

168

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HERITAGE

April 1981 Playmate

Lorraine Michaels was working as a
bank teller in Los Angeles when Daina
House, our January 1976 Playmate,
suggested she audition to bein PLAYBOY.
With that helpful assist, Lorraine—a
diehard L.A. Kings hockey fan—took
a shot on goal and scored Centerfold
status. Born in England to a U.S. Air
Force family, Lorraine grew up across
America, living in nearly two dozen
states before settling in California.
After becoming a Playmate, shelanded
several small movie and TV roles and
worked part-time at Playboys West
Coast studio. So what inspired the
April showers prominently featured
in her pictorial? “I wanted to list mak-
ing love in the rain on my Data Sheet,
under turn-ons. I've done it. It's fun, all
right. But then Iwondered, Would any-
one believe me?" Gertainly we would.
That's Lorraine: right as rain—and
right about rain.

173

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HERITAGE

¥

HERITAGE

LOS ANGELES, 1965

А Bunny disputes a call
during a charity softball game
atDodger Stadium.

REBEL, REBEL

Introducing the Uptown Maverick. Like a well-worn er jacket, this street boot feels as good

as it looks. With a light, springy sole for г
9 Jy

HUBBARD

ЭН ХЕЕЕ M AKERS SINCE то 350

zushioned ride, you're ready to zip up and step out

BODY GLOVE