>> she didn't see the kiss? gutfeld next. [ applause ] [ applause ] ♪ >> happy thursday, everybody! oh yeah, except for those sad bastards at disney. it gotten so bad they're going to fire 7,000 people as part of a significant transformation. it is the biggest transformation since

kill me lunch turned into a butt butterfly. it is a caterpillar if you didn't know it. do not dead name them. this is what happens when you go woke, the saying is, you go broke. you can blame the cowardly exec who let the woke turned disney into a joke now. you want to talk about transitioning, forget leah thomas, look at the disney products? remember that wooden p pegged lying lit little -- pinocchio. he taught children not to fib or you will rp be rp eaten by a whale. i never understood until i saw "the

vi view." [ applause ] >> i don't get it. remember that slutty little ariel? nobody told her drugstores have medicines for those. she taught a generation of young women that you can over come a disability. she was a cartoon mermaid. [ laughter ] i mean -- that's a hard life if she can't stand up. how could she make me a sandwich. >> and then there is the "101 dalmatians," what message did you learn from that? i learned there are better puppies for your coats. they're kind ugly when you think about it. "bambi"

taught us to always wear orange in the forest. yeah. all right, pete. what about this beloved classic? >> come along now. >> hey, sit the [ bleep ] down. >> hey, you guys want to do some coke? >> i got to think where to find some. my dealer got shot last night. >> drugs are terrible. oh, don't be a - >> women love to complain about every little thing. >> come here, snort this angel dust, it will get you high. >> oh my god! >> oh my god! >> all right, see ya, [ bleep ], i am going to write a screen play. [ applause ] >> that's the best thing they ever done. [ laughter ] >> i actually forgot what my point was. my point is disney

used to be about universal life lessons. now, it is not. take a proud family on disney plus, a cartoon designed to turn kids into victims with no agencies of their own. it is hate america 101. they don't even hide it. joy reid should sue for copyright infringement. >> this country was built on slavery which means slave built this country. >> tilt this land from sea to sea. >> whitny did her thing. >> we are 4 million strong. >> the descendants of slaves continue to build this. >> you get that, slaves, build this country. thank god about the song i never heard about it before. like a kennedy on a massachusetts bridge, it takes a turn for the worse.

[ laughter ] arable. thank you. [ applause ] rp >> roll some more. >> i mean it is true. and continue to earn reparations every moment we spend into this prejudicism and white supremacy. >> slaves built this country. >> well, there are those words we come to know and love, systematic prejudice and racism and supremacy, otherwise known as the national anthem for democrats. again, this is for children but it is not in a classroom. it is kids entertainment. what's next? snow white privilege and her seven old, entitled white men? if you thought lincoln freed the slaves, you would be dead wrong. >>rp >>rp >> tubman. >> only we can free ourselves. >> emancipation is not freedom.

>> jim crow and feeding private prisons where we become slaves again. >> as we celebrate juneteenth. >> we say freedom is not free. they say freedom is not freedom. they took a dump on the graves of 360,000 soldiers. what's the point of all that? it is about retribution and not reconciliation. while so someone calls it a history lesson, it is a bitter filter. why cooperate with others who are different from you if they are related to someone centuries ago who may own slaves. that does not seem to matter, really? does anyone check your family tree before they call you a racist? thank god we have disney. this is not food for thought. it is

resegregationist. we need to be apart from each other. if you want your kids to start life pissed off with a chip on their shoulders, have them watch that. it is called the proud family. rp wl with messages like that, there is nothing to be proud of. period! period! >> let's welcome tonight's gue gueguests. she nursed more cocktails than kids. he's funnier than biden trying to put on a jacket. fox news contributor, kat timpf. >> he's so tall, he needs binocular to see his feet.

tyrus, the heavyweight champion! julie, we joke about you being a terrible mother but it is funny because it is true. oh, would you let your kids watch this? >> hell no. >> absolutely not. >> why not? >> first of all, "south park" a a aand a a aaa a an aanda a an and "be is despicable and it goes against the whole woke theory and they're pushing it down our children's throats. there are so many levels that they are children in this. these are children that are preaching the critical race theory where they're trying to erase history. they're trying to say lincoln is not responsible for abolishing slavery. and we emancipated ourselves. when i was 17, i was

so bad that my dad wanted me to be emancipated at my 13th birthday. i am just saying. >> that's an interesting comparison. i happen to know a lot about emancipation. i was a crazy partier. i drew my parents crazy. >> forced into emancipation. >> no, this is forcing children to basically want to erase history. we are proud to be here where we are today because of writing the wrongs of history. [ applause ] >> and slavery is a stain on american history and something that should be taught in order to teach people the way to go forward and not backward, that's what they're trying to do to our kids. >> think about this, tyrus, everybody - no one is arguing about learning history. there are certain things here that are being replaced. why is disney trying to get kids to enjoy life? >> they're trying to appease the

mob. this is about some artistic person getting their poem out. i would 1000% watch this with my kids. they're going to have a lot of questions afterwards. how angry was the little white girl who was saying her own people were white supremacsupremacists crazy. now, i will tell you what history is and here is the thing about reparation. it was never about money, it was about opportunity. what was the thing during that time? owning land was your best opportunity to be successful and leave something for your children. we replaced land with opportunity in this country. everyone in this chair has an opportunity some of form and others you took advantage of. we have different roles and bumps. that's the difference. what this group does or what this artist does is they don't want

opportunity. they want the finish product. they want to be given the reward without the work. this country is about the work regardless of what color you are. [ applause ] >> you missed the good old days of -- why is my shirt all screwed up? that's the important problem. you missed the good old day of disneyland when it was just snow white and some dw dwdwarfs -- dwarves. >> i never liked disney? >> it is for children. >> they should register as a sex offender. you should not be around kids like that. it is creepy. i don't know what's happening to your child, get over it. you are a grown man walking around with mickey ears on. take a picture next to mickey, that's just weird and creepy. [ laughter ] >> what do you make of this

cartoon? the new cartoon? >> there is more shocking of the story is that it is a reboot. who knew there was a show called " "" "" "" "" ""the proud >> they laid off 8,000 people. >> that's right. for those 8,000 people, it is even a smaller world after all. [ applause ] oh. i want to take the sury and ask the thousands of people if they still think disney is the happiest place on earth. >> they were not playing them ways to take care of themselves. they get paid so unbelow poverty that they can't afford supporting themselves at disney. instead of raising the pay to pay their bills, they got rid of them. they actually did them a favor. >> people are going to look behind me and see buzz

light-year behind me. oh, that's weird. >> kat, last word to you. what did you think of this? the problem is, none of this stuff will ever go away because no one ever has the guts to stop it. >> i was really confused. these are my family, making all these slaves from slavery, why is my grandparents living in a nine bedroom in a terrible neighborhood. my great grandma came here from poland, it is obviously a more nuance conversation and important conversation to have. when i am a mom, some day, i think what i will be looking for in tv -- >> here the announcement. rp >> what i will be looking fn tv is something stop television because you get tired of talking kids all day. >> yeah, you are going to have questions for me? that's not why i put this on. >> it is how i home school my

kids, to learn to read, you turn on the tv's subtitles, boom. >> there you go. >> they said you can't be a drunk and a good mom. [ laughter ] >> not her. >> i was just saying that out loud. up next, a brazen broad accused of covid fraud. [ applause ]

welcome back, look at you people, quit laughing. so nice of you. [ applause ] >> they're throwing the book at a covid crook. a miami woman named daniella busted for fraud. feds got suspicious when she listed her company as cnn plus.

appapparently she falsed docum to qualify for ppp money. a swanky apartment she spent and cosmetic surgery. in response, hunter biden was like, what? no horse? how much money did she spend on cosmetic surgeries? this was her before, not bad, right? this was her after. >> good job i have to say. i would bang him. now, she faces seven counts of wire fraud and money laundering and 20 years in prison. or, if she's a democrat, a 50-dollars fine. she's one of thousands out there took advantage of the pandemic and made off like kevin spacey at an eagle scout convention. i know. he's terrible. and here is something you would never hear about. the government mishandling our money. the labor

department identified another $30 billion pandemic unemployment funds that were wrongfully sent out. that brings the total amount of misspent payment up to 191 quad-billion. they could not decide how much aid was wrongfully sent out. on the bright side, they'll get that money back in lottery winnings from a nice nigerian practice they met online. jim, does this upset you the way it upsets me? if i knew this was an easy scam, i would have done it. >> you know i sat home watching "tiger king," meanwhile i could have gotten money for free. i had no idea. >> exactly. >> like i was so distracted over it. $191 billion. >> exactly. >> that could fund a couple of wars. >> that could also fund the government spending more money

on drag shows for preschoolers. >> yes, that was on my list, too. >> maybe? >> but, no, it is a lie and the fact that a girl, you know, she did spend a lot on plastic surgeries. that's fine. she used it for a good cause because she looks a lot better. [ laughter ] >> you know what i mean? at at least drop that charge. [ laughter ] >> use a company out of new jersey, a new jersey processer with her corporate thing. i love that because i live in jersey. if you want to break the law, someone in jersey will help you do it. [ applause ] >> that's true. >> kat, he makes a good point. maybe plastic surgery should be free. i would pay for plastic surgery if it makes people hotter. >> it does not always, though. that's the gamble. >> that's the fun part, too. >> you may end up with a monster

like madonna which we'll discuss later. >> oh. >> is she your best friend? >> i wish she was. [ laughter ] >> i can't imagine saying anything bad about madonna so she can get away with whatever in terms of me. well, you brought her up. going back to this plastic surgery lady, not everyone was doing what she was doing. by that i mean getting caught. >> right. >> like she was really dumb about it, posting everything on the internet. so many people were doing this that the government admitted they'll never truly know how much money was lost through whether these loans or unemployment. some of these smaller people is too expensive. they're going up to the crime ranks and stuff. so many people are never going to get caught? >> what does it sound like to you? it is like looting without breaking the laws. >> and not having to get off your ass, either, >> yes, it comes in the mail.

>> no, it sounds like typical u.s. government to me. why are we mad a few individuals do what our government did. let's not get caught up on who got the money from covid is the worse thing that happens during the pandemic. i think we should stay there and stick with the whether it was a bad armadillo or was an it a lab. let's not get caught up. the reason why we can't find out is i am sure every one of those government officials, nieces and nephews and cousins, made up with a lot of money. we are never going to find it. here is a couple of people did it and let's go after this them. they just did what our government did to us everyday. >> do you think she should go to jail? >> no, i think she should teach a class. >> how to work in the government? she should have a job. at one point, $200,000 for a stapler. $2 million to put a

toilet in san francisco. she's going to do great. >> yeah. >> that's true. >> think about it. >> julie, you must feel like -- >> jealous. >> you are not putting up those numbers. >> she's like a julie, >> she's columbian and i am half breed columbian. >> banderas is a fake name. >> i know that. >> she's got three kids and i got three kids. >> my body does not look like that. i do believe the plastic surgeries should be free. i end up marrying the wrong guy. i would have preferred to marry that surgeon and i would have gotten free surgeries. >> what would you look like? >> i don't know, she's hot. i like the mean girls every once in a while. i go to the restaurant and i would pick out

everyone there that i know and we pick out what they would have done. they did a good job on her nose and lips and lipo on her waist. >> do you think i need anything? >> botox. >> be honest? >> right here on this little creek here. >> and highway going on. >> a little frozen. >> just a little. >> she should be on qvc. >> i got a guy for you. that's all. otherwise, you will be perfect. >> i was thinking of getting some lipo because those cells don't come back, right? i don't want to lose part of greg. >> it is not over weight when the cells get big on their own? >> they don't grow back. they grow in other places. >> and have a little greg. >> i would love to have a little greg. he can scratch in places i can't reach. that's the only

reason. he would come out and scratch my back and i would put him back in the box and hear him weep all night. >> or you can take little greg to disney world. >> there will not be an another little greg aside from this little greg. >> will the irs put servers ind ind indicrp ddistrerp ddssdi? the virus that causes shingles is likely already inside of you. if you're 50 years or older, ask your doctor or pharmacist about shingles. >> woman: why did we choose safelite? >> vo: for us, driving around is the only way we can get our baby to sleep, so when our windshield cracked, we needed it fixed right.

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[ applause ] who are these people? >> oh, yeah, they don't do that for laura. [ laughter ] >> will waiters earn less thanks to the irs? the irs wants to crackdown on tips in the service industry. that's why jesse waters never tips. [ laughter ] >> to reduce his waiter's tax burden under the tip compliance agreement. bartenders, waiters

and waitresses and bust boys will have to report their cash tips to their employers. no one would be safe. not even the crew that waxes bill hammer's back. that's 12 guys. employers opted the program will have to give the irs an annual report which is a great way to motivate employees to key your car. it allows the irs to do best, totally ignore you and bleed you until you are dry. the irs said it would decrease taxpayer burdens. if we take from these poor bastards, we'll take less from you. when the irs finds new revenues, oh, you other guys are off the hook. that's a [ bleep ] lie. just like janet yellen's hair style saying, relax, it will grow out. [ laughter ] >> i guess it is hard to trust the government agency that wants

to stick 87,000 agents on you. what's on you, joe? >> don't forget who you are talking to. this is all joe. i used to wait tables. i was the only white waiter in an all-black restaurant. >> there is some bad sdudes in the kitchen. we have a line cook by the name of greens, cauler-greens. i am damned if i didn't get my grits. cauler-greens live to grill another day. >> kat, i got nothing against screwing waitresses. this screws them really bad. [ laughter ] >> well, i am glad to know that. [ laughter ] >> oh my god. >> remember when you know the

administration added all of those new irs agents and billions and billions of dollars beefing up the irs saying they were going to go after the super wealthy who were not paying their fair share and i and many other people said, well, what the irs usually dose is goes after people who makes less because they have fewer resources to fight the irs. who does not have resources to fight the irs? a waitress. we can all call this is what they're going to do. i worked as a waitress for a long time. i was not good at it. when i got a good tip, i needed to keep all that. >> right. >> yeah. >> i am just trying to imagine you being a waitress. >> i was so bad, i spilled something on someone and instead of getting paper towels to help clean up, i asked them, are you mad at me. >> oh [ laughter ] please don't tell anyone. >> as if they cared, it is going

to ruin our relationship we are developing. >> julie, you ever worked in the service industry? i mean it in a clean way. >> well, -f no. >> well, that's a load of question. >> yes. >> i never got tips. >> no? >> never. >> the service industry i worked in was cool stuff like on a friday night, i worked at a movie theater with a hair net on friday night serving all my friends. i wonder why i was single from age 16 to 35. i never got tips but i feel strongly about this because i am a big tipper. first of all, they don't get pay jack and minimum wage. i was at a hair salon and she was afraid for me to venmo me their tips. that's what they live off of because their hourly wages are so low. >> the government sounds like a

desperate junkie going through the seat cushions up the sofa. >> we run out of billionaires, let's go out to the waitresses. >> it is just what the democrats do. we are for the people. >> we'll hold the money. this is how i am going to teach y'all a little way to deal with it. this is how we would do it in the hood. when you pay your tip, you write $1 and you give them the dove, dove is a 20. you know what i am saying? it is my base, what am i going to do? a attachable moment. everyone writes a dollar. that's what they'll claim on their taxes and keep the rest. kiss my -how much did you make? a dollar. they're not doing it. it is not their fault my big dumb self can't count. i wrote $1 and i left $20. whoops. we need to get that around and spread it around. they make on a really good

restaurant, $4 an hour? yes, here is the deal. good luck getting good service anyway. most of them worked themselves to death during the pandemic. when you go to some places who's working really hard, you don't have good service and now you are going to get tips? >> yeah, robots and automation. >> you are going to need all that, grits to come get you food. yeah, that's where we'll be at. >> and the way you talk, i imagine you were a bartender. were you a bartender? >> no, never. >> dishwasher when i was a kid. >> have you ever abduct a woman? >> does it count if it was in another country? >> i like tyrus' idea leaving a dollar. >> but don't actually leave a dollar. >> don't jesse water it. >> i can see greg doing that and they'll put it in the media.

$3,000 and you left a dollar, greg gutfeld the number one guy in late night leaves a dollar. >> first, it was james corden and now me. >> i tip well on delivery. >> i feel bad they have to come to my house. >> yeah. >> if you are an irs agent and you go out to dinner, don't tell the waiter or waitress what you do for a living because your food is coming back with spit in it. can madonna's cheeks take critique? before your asthma got in the way? get back to the things you love... with fasenra. fasenra is an add-on treatment for eosinophilic asthma. having too many eosinophils, a type of white blood cell, can cause inflammation and asthma symptoms. fasenra is designed to target and remove eosinophils and helps prevent asthma attacks. fasenra is 1 dose every 8 weeks. fasenra can help patients to breathe better.

most patients did not have an asthma attack in the first year. and fasenra helps lower the use of oral steroids. fasenra is not for sudden breathing problems or other eosinophilic conditions. allergic reactions may occur. don't stop your asthma treatments without talking with your doctor. tell your doctor if your asthma worsens. headache and sore throat may occur. tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection. get back to better breathing. and get back to your life. ask your doctor about fasenra. if you can't afford your medication, astrazeneca may be able to help.

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madonna is going after people who criticized her looks on sundays. >> madonna slams people for focusing more on hr face than what she had to say, adding the photographers' long lens would distort anyone's face. i don't want to be too mean to madonna and piling on all the negative things people have said. things like who is that monster and it is nice to see cher put her left over parts to good use. mom, can i sleep with you in your bed, i am scared. but, really, madonna should be getting more credit and also more fiber. she did break a record by becoming the first person to introduce a grammy performance right after having your wisdom teeth removed. [ coughs] >> excuse me. a little frog in

my throat there. who wants to talk about madonna? >> kat? does she have a point? >> she's right. >> society does judge women harshly for aging and i can prove it. >> how? >> society does judge women harshly for aging because fairly is a porn category. >> people will say, oh, it is milf. to be a milf, you need to have all the giant boobs. it is not fair. >> jim, you know what i love about this? we are getting into that era where now all the people that were young that never wanted to be old whether

it is the daughtery of the old or -- they don't want to die. it is like now it is great to be old. why didn't you say that when you were 25? because you were stupid. not you, jim. this imaginary person that i am talking about that does not exist. >> she's saying like the world does no celebrate women over 45. she spends thousands of dollars trying to look like she's 20, you know? >> 20 on another planet. >> 20 years old. even if michael jackson was alive today, you need to cut down on the plastic surgeries a little. i am just saying. but, she blames on a long lens camera that distorted her face. that's what she's blaming it on. meanwhile everyone else in the world didn't have a distorted face. just her. >> exactly. >> i love to use it as an excuse, i want to tell people at home they use a long lens camera on this show, distorting my face

now. this is what i look like because of that. when you see me in person, i look just like brad pitt. >> that's true. >> julie, they never saw her when they were chasing the chinese balloon. >> i can't get over her hair style. >> it is princess leah on top of a rhino. >> i am obsessed with plastic surgery but this is not good. she's never obviously had an issue with injections into her body. this is going over the top and we'll say that. i don't think a long lens injecting anything into her face is the reason why that's happening. >> oh my goodness. >> do you know what the problem is? >> the problem is you people. all of you. judgemental. if you

want to look like marilyn manson, it is your right. >> she does. beautiful people. everybody sing it with me. [ laughter ] >> oh. free country. >> you know what the problem is though. the only criticism she hears is from social media because nobody in her circle is saying hey, -- you are a little too much helium in the the cheekbones. >> that's the problem, you will like to think someone like madonna who's done her music, she's madonna, at one time, she's like a virgin and now, not so much. you would think she would be at a place where someone talking about her and it would be like easily for madonna to dismiss it because of who she is. that's worrisome and you

would think that she would be able to handle somebody saying something. when you surround yourself by yes people. >> was like a virgin and now not so much is not a porn category. >> i know this because of my fan base but grandma porn is big. >> i would not know about that. >> they'll send you anything, do not open. >> do not open. >> up next, americans see their debt inflate with each valevalentine p ddate.

on a very special "tv dad"... i didn't make the dance team. what do i always say? switch your car insurance to progressive, and you could save hundreds. -feel better now? -not really. switch to progressive, and you could save hundreds.

a story in five words. valentine's day. $26 billion spent. tyrus. consumers are expected to spend that much money on valentine's day. do you expect anything? >> no, i am a guy, we don't get [ bleep ]. >> that's true. >> it is a lot of dead flowers. how many flowers have to die to say one day that says i am trying. i never got it. i also know that if i would like to have the following next month without being stared at and

talked about, guys doing this not because they want to but have to. their gifts are something that they can show to other women. look at what my man got you. and the middle, they bury the guy - he got me just one flower. it is really about showing off in social media. if you are consistently a good dude the entire year, why do you have to spend a ton of money one day to prove it. it is ridiculous. >> julie? i don't know what your relationship is. it is none of my business but tell me, is it over? are you going to get anything for valentine's day? >> [ bleep ] >> see? >> it is stupid. even when i was married, i didn't get [ bleep ]. >> you are no longer married? >> well, i am going to get a divorce. i am going to say it right here for the first time. thank you everyone.

congratulations are in order. >> do you clap for that? >> yes, absolutely. >> should we all go -- should everybody go um -- aw. >> that was breaking news. >> that was breaking news, man. >> listen, you don't have to be a guy to not get [ bleep ] on valentine's day. i will talk to you after the show. >> valentine's day is a hallmark holiday, it is stupid. it is ridiculous. i don't think you need one day and by the way, guys, if you are going to get your girl flowers, don't bring it to her in a box. no flowers in a box. i don't want anything that's alive in a box. if you come to me in a box, you better be dead. [ laughter ] >> jim, i don't know -- are you excited she's now single? [ laughter ] >> yes! well, i have a girlfriend now. if i didn't, i would -- the girl i am with, it is her first

valentine's day. she told me i don't believe valentine's day. it is stupid. we are going to find out on tuesday because i am getting her nothing and this relationship could be over by wednesday. >> she's lying. i promise you. >> i am not getting a card, i will send her a happy valentine's day with a heart thing. >> i bet a lot of her classmates are going to get valentine's day cards. >> well then -- [ laughter ] p>> that's like in third gr >> kat, you are not really a newlywed anymore. >> just a wife. [ laughter ] >> anything happening on valentine's day? >> no. that's a good one. i

don't care about valentine's day. i don't need you to get me anything for valentine's day. i need you to be obsessed with me all the time. there you go. [ applause ] >> i am not materialistic, i am emotionally expensive. >> everybody here, all the guys will get something. you have to choice. that's a bear trap. >> he's full of it. >> i bet she's lying. >> get used to it. they're going to do that. you should have known. >> she was testing you and you failed. >> well, yeah, i would say i fail. >> a box of chocolates and roses so you can get some sleep the next four days. p>> do not go to walgreens. >> you spend two hours looking for a vase.

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[applause] [crazy talking] [applause] >> greg: thank you, greg, good evening, everyone, and welcome to america's late news. i'm trace gallagher in los angeles. breaking tonight, the communist balloon was "not a major breach." fox is now learning the balloon had western made parts with english writing on them. so who and which western nations sold them to the ccp? those are questions lawmakers still have even after they got a classified briefing. the chief correspond