kimmel. the one and only magic johnson. >> have a great night >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- earvin "magic" johnson, joshua jackson, and music from myles smith. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> jimmy: hi, everybody! thank you very much. cleto. i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us. thank you very much. i have to say, hollywood, today in hollywood, it felt like gotham city. we had a real bam, zap, pow, of an event today just outside as batman became the first superhero to get a star on the hollywood walk of fame. not the actors who played batman, the character batman. [ laughter ] got a star. batman's star is located right on the corner here, not far from where his parents were murdered. [ laughter ] there was a big crowd. the chamber of commerce, i guess as we get toward the end of the year -- [ laughter ] they try to save money. so, instead of putting in a

whole new star, they got some tape and put it over jason bateman's. [ cheers and applause ] you won't even know. batman isn't the first cartoon character to be honored on the walk of fame. others include bugs bunny, mickey mouse and donald trump. [ laughter ] [ applause ] all have stars. donald trump, who is wrapping his combover with cellophane tonight as hurricane helene makes her way toward florida. trump is said to be monitoring the storm from mar-a-lago and if necessary, is prepared to move on helene like a bitch. [ laughter ] the storm is being tracked by the national hurricane center and national weather service, both of which would be disbanded under trump's "project 2025." for real. their solution to the hurricanes is, "i'd rather not know." [ laughter ] today, trump finally unveiled his plan for comprehensive health care reform. just kidding. [ laughter ] he unveiled more trump-brand crap to sell to his lemmings.

and hold on to your maga hats, because this one's gonna cost ya. >> hello, it's your favorite president, donald j. trump, to introduce something really special. i think you're going to love it. my new trump watches. [ laughter ] we're doing quite a number with watches, and the quality to me is very important. >> jimmy: right, right, almost as important as ripping you off is important. [ laughter ] but please, rolex luthor -- go on! >> trump victory turbion. this isn't just any watch, it's one of the best watches made. it's a turbion with cold and 100 diamonds. i love gold and diamonds, we all do. >> jimmy: never owned a diamond in my life, never will. this is turbion! man, he will slap his name on anything at all. doesn't matter what it is -- donald trump watches, donald trump coins, donald trump junior. [ laughter ] any garbage they hand him, he will put his name on it for a dollar.

[ cheers and applause ] and the watches may look cheap, but they're selling them for $100,000 apiece. >> only 147 of these extraordinary watches will ever exist in the world. and owning one puts you in a very exclusive club. i have watch number 1. and i'm going to keep it. it's mine, and that's the way i want to have it. >> jimmy: yeah. r [ laughter ] just try to pry it out of my cold little babydoll-sized hands, i dare you! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] maybe i'm totally off base, but i feel like he may be overestimating the demand for a $100,000 donald trump watch. let me see if i have this straight. the biden economy is such a mess people can't afford apples. they can afford a $1,000 trump watch. [ laughter ] but in fairness, not every watch is out of reach. because trump is a man of the people, he's got some reasonably priced options too. the gold "fight fight fight" watch for $800. and the silver version for only

$500. but you may be asking, where would i purchase such an elegant timepiece? >> go to gettrumpwatches.com. [ laughter ] it's trump time. >> jimmy: it's trump time, it's trump time. how exciting. trump time, fyi, is five to seven years, four with good behavior. [ cheers and applause ] and by the way, donald isn't the only trump with a license to shill. [ laughter ] melania came out of hiding to promote her new book. it is "the true story of an immigrant who came to america to mate with a pig." [ laughter and moans ] this was melania's first interview in more than two years. we now see melania on the same schedule as punxsutawney phil. [ laughter ] this wasn't so much an interview as it was a proof of life video. [ laughter ] but it was a big get for fox news. rarely does fox news allow a brunette to appear on television. [ laughter ] >> people say they don't like him, what do you wish they knew about him?

>> that he's really a family man. he loves his family. he loves this country. and all he wants, to build better. and prosperous. >> jimmy: all he wants, to build better and prosperous. [ laughter ] is that so wrong? >> so i think american people need to decide what they really want. maybe some, you know, strong tweets, but everything else, great for this country. so, it's all in americans' people's hands. >> jimmy: oh, it's going to be one hell of an audiobook, let me tell you. [ laughter ] and while most of the questions were about the unfair fbi raid on her home, and her time in the white house, melania did give some personal insight on whether or not she and donald ever tried to have more kids. >> donald was encouraging to

have more. and i said, like, i'm completely fine with one. because it's very busy life. and i know how busy he is. and i'm in charge of everything. so that's why. it's just perfect. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, sounds really perfect. [ laughter ] in other words, he never changed a single diaper or went to one school play. [ laughter ] i think is what she's trying to say. still can't spell the word "barron," by the way. the only thing i want to know from melania is, who are you voting for? [ laughter ] that's what i'd like to have answered. elsewhere in trumpsylvania - the former president's former lawyer, rudy giuliani, is now officially a former lawyer. he is no longer permitted to practice law in new york or washington d.c. [ cheers and applause ] [ applause ] rudy was disbarred today for his role in helping trump try to overturn the election. trump never gets in trouble for any of the stuff everyone else does. the good news is, rudy, who is

80 years old, will now have more time to fart on his family. [ laughter ] hey, maybe it's time to jump back into the mayor game. there might be an opening soon. [ audience moaning ] the current mayor of new york, eric adams, was indicted last night on charges of bribery, wire fraud, and soliciting illegal contributions from foreign countries. fellow democrats are calling on him to resign, whereas republicans are urging him to run for governor of north carolina. [ laughter ] but mayor adams said he will not step down -- and instead, is taking a page straight out of the maga playbook. >> my fellow new yorkers, it is now my belief that the federal government intends to charge me with crimes. if so, these charges will be entirely false, based on lies >> jimmy: that's the way you do it now. you never admit to doing anything wrong, and you accuse

others of targeting you for reasons you never bother to explain. it's trump 101. >> make no mistake, you elected me to lead this city, and lead it i will. and i will always be on time. thanks to the luxurious and precise eric adams watch. 200 grams of gold and more than 100 real diamonds. that's a lot of diamonds. i love diamonds, and i love new york. get your adams watch right now at getyouradamswatchrightnow.com. what time is it? it's adams time. god bless you, and god bless this fly as [ bleep ] watch. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: you know what, with a watch that fly, he has to be innocent. and then we have the other big criminal case in new york. the artist formerly known as at least 500 other names, sean "diddy" combs, who was indicted and arrested in new york last week on charges of sex trafficking and racketeering. charges that have brought a

great deal of pleasure to his longtime tormentor 50 cent. in case you didn't know, diddy and 50 cent have a longstanding beef. it's more than a beef, really, it's a whole chain of outback steak house restaurants. [ laughter ] fitty has been feuding with diddy for almost 20 years. now fitty is making a documentary about diddy for netflix. let's see kendrick top that one. [ laughter ] i have to say -- we've come a long way since biggie and tupac. now we settle blood feuds on the same platform that brought us "the great british baking show." [ laughter ] this is how all conflicts should be handled. you get into a fight with someone, instead of shooting each other, you say, "i'll see you at sundance." [ laughter ] one detail that i am sure 50 cent will get into is the thousand bottles of baby oil the feds found when they raided diddy's house. a reporter from the "new york post" caught up with diddy's lawyer coming out of the jail

and this guy put quite a spin on that. >> how do you explain the baby oil and the lubricants, 1,000 bottles of baby oil? >> i don't think it was 1,000. i think it was a lot. there's a costco right down the street. i think americans buy in pluck, as we know. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: americans buy in bulk? don't blame costco for this. [ laughter ] i know costco. costco's a very good friend of mine. [ laughter ] i've been a costco member since 1992 when it was price club. i know every item they have at costco. the first thing i thought when i saw that clinical was, costco doesn't have baby oil. [ laughter ] then i went on costco.com, i looked it up, they don't have it in the store, they don't sell it online. you know why? because no one has 25 babies to oil. [ laughter ] costco doesn't carry baby oil for the same reason they don't carry bolt cutters. unless you're up to no good, you only need one. [ laughter ] for the record, the only oils costco sells -- i looked it up -- canola, vegetable, corn,

avoc avocado, olive, coconut, and motor. right? >> guillermo: that's right, jimmy. >> jimmy: that's right, thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] i'm glad we cleared that up. and one more thing before we forge ahead. it's thursday night, which means it's time to bleep and blur the big tv moments of the week. it's time for "this week in unnecessary censorship." [ cheers and applause ] >> here's something you definitely don't hear or see every day. an octopus caught on camera [ bleep ]ing fish. >> donald trump saying that kamala harris has bigger [ bleep ] problems. >> why did you cover that? >> it was very startling to wake up to a naked frenchman [ bleep ]ing me. i can't say that that's the first time it's ever happened. >> the same people that [ bleep ] joe biden are going to be the same people that [ bleep ] kamala harris. is it one guy? >> no strange why we keep talking about [ bleep ]ing.

from 1954 to 2015, [ bleep ], 50 towels a day, twice a day, no hired help. >> does donald trump [ bleep ], [ bleep ]? and their answer was yes. >> we had the traditional french butt [ bleep ]. >> wait, huh? >> the following day, which our great mayor rudy giuliani and i, [ bleep ]ed over 100 [ bleep ]s. >> the other day, i'm just a [ bleep ], you know. i went to this person, this person [ bleep ] so tight. >> was it my brother? >> what you doing? >> i'm growing blueberries because pigeons like berries. >> bert likes pigeons. >> correct, [ bleep ] pigeons. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. we've got a fun show for you tonight. joshua jackson is here. we have music from myles smith, and we'll be right back with earvin "magic" johnson.

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, welcome back. tonight -- a very talented actor, you can see him in the highly anticipated new show "doctor odyssey" here on abc. joshua jackson is with us. [ cheers and applause ] then later - all the way from lootin england, his song is called "stargazing." myles smith from the snapdragon stage. [ cheers and applause ] you can see myles live here in concert here in l.a. on january 29th and 30th at the wiltern theater. next week, we have new shows with big-time guests including jennifer aniston, gwen stefani, saoirse ronan, michigan governor gretchen whitmer, diego luna,

gael garcia bernal, adam brody, and lady gaga. and we'll have music from gwen, gaga and beabadoobee too. so please join us for all that. our first guest tonight is a sports legend so wildly successful, he had to have an extra finger surgically added to each hand just to hold all his championship rings. he is an owner of the l.a. sparks, the l.a. football club, the washington commanders, the washington spirit, and the los angeles dodgers, who are headed to the postseason. please welcome earvin "magic" johnson. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: always a pleasure. thank you for coming. you're wearing your dodger blue tonight? >> that's right, i got to go to dodger stadium, make sure we win. >> jimmy: you go after, you go to the game? >> yes. >> jimmy: how many games you go to a year? >> i don't know, because i'm so busy, and i know they're going to win, so i say, okay, i'm good. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> no, i think i try -- if i don't go, i watch it on tv. >> jimmy: i feel like you have too many teams now. i feel like you're maxed out. how can you possibly follow all of these teams? >> i have my staff making sure i know what the scores are, who we're playing. >> jimmy: is that right? >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: is one person assigned to each team? >> that's right. >> jimmy: or do they cover multiple -- >> each team, because it's important. i know blow by blow-what happened in the game. what hit changed the momentum of the game? who hit the home run? and ohtani, i mean, man. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's surreal, that's unbelievable.

shohei ohtani is having the best season of any baseball player ever. >> yes, yes, and he's still young. >> jimmy: and you're paying him $2 million this year. which is, i mean -- talk about magic. i don't know how you guyed figured this deal out. we're going to pay you almost nothing for the first, what, ten years? >> well, he had to accept that, though. >> jimmy: he had to accept it. "then i'm going to sell the team and whoever i sell it to willow you $700 million." [ laughter ] [ applause ] absolutely brilliant. >> as long as he's playing, we probably won't sell the team. >> jimmy: yeah, no, right. >> listen. that lineup -- and he's made everybody on the dodger team better. do you know that eight out of every ten japanese fans who come over from japan go to dodger stadium? >> jimmy: is that true? >> yes. >> jimmy: attendance is higher than it's ever been this year, right? >> he is loved all around the world. >> jimmy: yeah. he's like babe ruth, it's

unbelievable. >> yes, yes, yes. >> jimmy: have you ever seen any athlete in any other sport -- all right, let's talk about the nba. have you ever had a season that compares to this season? >> no, no. no, you -- >> jimmy: michael, jordan, has he ever had a season? >> probably close to it, but not this type of season. >> jimmy: wilt chamberlain ever have a season -- >> no, because it's the world watching it. >> jimmy: yeah. >> it's not just american fans who watch baseball. also, he's bringing in new fans who didn't watch baseball. he's that exciting. and so i've never seen this ever in my life. only by -- only person i can compare is michael jackson having this type of unbelievable hysteria everywhere he moves, everywhere he goes. >> jimmy: yeah, he's like the taylor swift of baseball. >> there you go, i'll take that. but he's also a good guy and humble. >> jimmy: yeah, well you know, the dodgers, if they win -- i wonder if you've thought this through. like, would you be in the locker

room with them spraying the champagne? >> you can't get ahead of yourself. >> jimmy: you can't get ahead of yourself. >> no, no. >> jimmy: have you thought about whether you'll wear goggles or not? that's a new thing, i don't like it. >> can't get ahead of yourself. that's bad karma. you should never think about winning the championship before you've won it. >> jimmy: how many -- in nine innings, how many dodger dogs can you eat? [ laughter ] >> a man my size could probably eat a lot if i was eating dodger dogs. >> jimmy: you don't eat dodger dogs? >> not anymore. >> jimmy: no? >> no. >> jimmy: no, wow, how come? >> they have so many other offerings now, so i eat a nice chicken salad. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you know what? >> i'm trying to stay slim and trim around here. >> jimmy: it's funny, because just when i think, oh, man, this guy's got it all. i suddenly feel bad for you. [ laughter ] you can't eat my hot dogs. >> i can only eat one, maybe. >> jimmy: i don't want to anger you. but i do want to bring something up.

because this guy, i have it here, quote, this anthony edwards. he plays for the timberwolves. he was comparing your nba era to his nba era now. and he said, "i don't think anybody had skill back then. michael jordan was the only one that really had skill, you know what i mean? so that's why when they saw kobe they were like, oh, my god. but now everybody haskell." >> hm. thanks a lot, anthony. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> i think he should have asked somebody, maybe his father or grandfather, about kareem abdul-jabbar. [ cheers and applause ] dr. j. isaiah thomas. larry bird. clyde drexler. all these guys. dominique wilkins. we had some of the most dominant players that ever played. >> jimmy: you should buy the timberwolves just to scare the crap out of him. [ laughter ] [ applause ] bring him in for his contract. "anthony, this thing about the skill, you know, i'm paying

ohtani $2 million." >> yes, yes, yes. >> jimmy: why you want to be in that boat too?" >> exactly. also too, you might want to talk trash when you've won something. [ audience moaning and applauding ] >> jimmy: that's true, that's true. >> you know? if this came from some of the guys who just won on the celtic team, okay, you might want to look at it. but you haven't won anything. if i'm anthony edwards, i'm concerned about the glass mavericks, about okc, about boston, about all these great teams. >> you're not thinking about players of the past? >> exactly. you know, you concentrate. because you got beat by the mavericks. you didn't make to it the championship. so i'm concentrating on that instead of what happened in a time you wasn't born. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he probably would agree with that if he thought it through. lebron is going to be playing with his son, bronny. >> yes. >> jimmy: which is interesting. i mean, i think it's just -- even just, like, showering with your dad uh the game. [ laughter ]

>> yes, yeah. >> jimmy: do you think that is going to be a comfortable situation? i mean, that could go one of two ways. >> it can go one of two ways. if i'm bronny, i would tell my dad, "just let me play in the g-league all season." >> jimmy: you would? >> "so that i can relevant." he needs playing time. he doesn't need to be sitting on the laker bench and not playing. that's not a knock against him, he's just not ready. he needs to develop more, then he will be ready. because he has some great talent and skills. but he needs to develop those skills at a much better clip if he wants to play 15, 20 minutes a night in the nba, or more. >> jimmy: so you think lebron is making him play in the nba? >> i wouldn't say that, no. because i don't know that. >> jimmy: uh-huh? right? >> but if i'm his father, like lebron is, he needs to develop. it's just that simple. the lakers have done a wonderful

job of developing players. caruso. you see him. so all these guys have developed under the laker g-league coach. so they've done a good job of bringing guys up and playing them in the nba. >> jimmy: what do you think about the fact that the lakers hired a new coach, jj redick, who has never coached before? you've been in that situation. >> right. >> jimmy: what ed you coach, 16 games? >> don't bring that up. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but after you coached 16 games you're like, yeah, no, this is not -- i don't want to do this. >> you mean when i coached the 16 games? it's hard to go from where he is -- he was to the coach now. because remember, he was criticizing guys. now he got to come and coach these guys that are in the nba, in that locker room. so he's a very nettle man. i give him that. he's smart. he knows the games frontwards and backwards. also, analytic-wise, he's really intelligent, too. now, can that transfer to the

court, right? can he now get the guys that played the way he wants them to play, have a great system on both ends, offense and defense, and can he make adjustments within the game? that's going to be the key for me. then i know if he's a great coach. because if a team goes on a run, can he make adjustment to stop that run? >> jimmy: right. so you're saying, if he's a great coach, then you'll know he's a great coach? [ laughter ] >> in that situation. [ applause ] >> jimmy: magic johnson is with us. we'll be right back. >> lou: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by habit burger & grill. try the #1 ranked double charburger and taste why it's always "better by char." i was ok with my moderate to severe rheumatoid arthritis symptoms. with my psoriatic arthritis symptoms. but just ok isn't ok. and i was done settling. if you still have symptoms after a tnf blocker

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he wanted a no-crime day. he looked at me. i said, "what do you want me to do?" so here i am. september 27th is no-crime day. i said, promise me, detroit will respond. don't let my friend down. i'm expecting a call the next day saying, "magic, it worked." september 27th. it's time for no crime. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, that's tomorrow. that's tomorrow. there's so many great moments with you. that one -- your thomas came up with this idea in at i the '80s, encourage people

to stop committing crimes on that day. >> yes. >> jimmy: it was kind of a big deal, right? >> we got to bring that back right now. >> jimmy: yeah. i guess it was like, listen, you know what? tomorrow, the 28th, commit all the crimes you want. get your crimes in over the weekend. but on the 27th, no-crime day. then you went to detroit for no-crime day? >> that's right. isaiah's heart was in the right place. actually, it was a great day. it was a great event. >> jimmy: unfortunately, this is from "the new york times." we went and looked this up. there was a killing on no-crime day. they put you guys on this. >> yeah. >> jimmy: no-crime day was not a success. >> yeah. you can't win them all. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: you guys, you and isaiah, you said in your documenter that that you and

isaiah would go on roller coasters together. >> yes. >> jimmy: which i was thinking about. first of all, decapitation has to be in your head when you're on a roller coaster, right? this has got to be a concern. >> oh, definitely. >> jimmy: where would you guys go on roller coasters? >> well, cedar point in ohio. >> jimmy: oh, okay. >> magic mountain here. >> jimmy: at magic mountain, all right. >> yeah, so we go, get in line, we get up. it's our turn. and the bar can't come over our legs. [ laughter ] so it's taking a long time. so i'm trying to -- [ laughter ] so finally the guy said, "you either got to get in or get out." because the other ride was coming behind us. finally i went like this. [ laughter ] the bar came down. we went. i couldn't see nothing because i'm just looking up like that. [ laughter ] so we get back, and the general manager of the park is waiting for us. "you cannot ever ride the roller coaster ever again."

>> jimmy: wow. >> "you threw the whole system off." >> jimmy: magic was banned from his own [ laugh the that's not right. >> they definitely banned us, but it was the greatest time. i love amusement parks. i don't have to ride a ride. i can play all the games. i win at basketball all the time. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i bet. you get all the stuffs animals. >> "cookie, hey baby, here, i won for you." >> jimmy: cookie's got $80,000 worth of stuffed animals on the bed. you've known kamala harris for a long time, right? >> yes, over 20 years. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: so this has to be exciting. >> yes, it really is. i supported her when she ran for attorney general of the state of california. and then i raised a lot of money for her when she ran for senator of california, of course. and she's ready. >> jimmy: she's ready. [ cheers and applause ] >> you know.

she can bring the country together. she's fighting for women. so they can have the right to choose. [ cheers ] the economy. she's trying to bring the groceries down for families can't afford groceries now. some of the things that she -- her agenda, the plans she has for the country, is wonderful. and then, last but not least, foreign leaders want her to win. because they know they can work with her. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that seems to be the case. well, you're a very wealthy man. will you purchase a $100,000 trump watch? >> no, thank you. >> jimmy: no, you will not, okay. i heard you have some kind of a something, a surprise? >> yes, i do have a surprise for you. >> jimmy: okay, all right. >> i got to get up. >> jimmy: was it in the car? >> no, it's right here. >> jimmy: all right. >> no longer will you be saying that you now put your picture in our vacation -- >> no. no way. >> jimmy: i'm inviting you and your wife. >> come on now. >> jimmy: next summer. >> no way. [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: wow, oh, my god. this is the greatest. i'm almost near tears. >> you and molly are going to hang out with sam l. jackson and his wife -- >> jimmy: i don't have to photoshop myself into your pictures anymore? >> not next summer. >> jimmy: oh, my god. come on now. oh, my god, thank you. magic johnson, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] we'll be back with josh jackson.

he told us who he was. should abortion be punished? there has to be some form of punishment. then he showed us. for 54 years, they were trying to get roe v wade terminated. and i did it. and i'm proud to have done it. now, donald trump wants to go further with plans to restrict birth control, ban abortion nationwide, even monitor women's pregnancies. we know who donald trump is. he'll take control. we'll pay the price. i'm kamala harris, and i approved this message. marshalls buyers hustle for the latest trends, from fashion... double denim is back. got it! to beauty, so you don't have to. that is a deal! we get the deals, you get the good stuff. marshalls. detect this: living with hiv, robert learned he can stay undetectable with fewer medicines. that's why he switched to dovato. dovato is a complete hiv treatment for some adults.

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grow the system, exploit the system. take mark farrell's record. after receiving the largest ethics fine in city history for breaking campaign laws. mark authorized a commission almost every year he was in office. he was even caught taking donations from people he would then appoint to commissions, including a felon convicted of bribery. san francisco's challenges demand urgency,

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: we are back. still to come -- music from miles smith. earlier tonight, our next guest made his debut as a cruise ship doctor. i'm going on a cruise ship with magic, guillermo. >> guillermo: yeah, finally! i'm happy for you, yeah! >> jimmy: i've got to concentrate on josh. you can watch "dr. odyssey. it is on abc here thursday nights. please welcome joshua jackson! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

very good to see you. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i have to say, i think you have a big hit on your hands with this show. [ cheers ] >> i hope so. >> jimmy: this is -- so, the trailer for this television show -- >> yes. >> jimmy: -- got 77 million views in 48 hours. >> yeah. >> jimmy: which is completely crazy. it's like a marvel movie. >> well, i'm irish, so i have a lot of cousins. [ laughter ] they really put the work in, and i appreciate that. >> jimmy: they must have put in overtime watching this thing. >> it's crazy. >> jimmy: that must have surprised the hell out of you guys. >> i mean, you do these things, and you hope for the best. but never in my wildest dreams -- as we were having the premiere last week, the press lady came up, "by the way, do you know there's going to be nearly 80 million people that have seen the trailer by tomorrow morning?" i was like, "what? that's ridiculous." >> jimmy: it is ridiculous. i've never heard of anything like it for a television show. >> i've been doing this for a

minute, i've definitely never have that happen before. >> jimmy: you play the doctor on a cruise ship. a long tradition of tv cruise ship doctors which dru doc from "the love boat." >> yes. who i assume is my father. [ laughter ] has to be my father. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. and some strange things happen on the pilot. >> yes. >> jimmy: you were put to work immediately. >> immediately, yes. >> jimmy: there was a man who looked just like john madden who -- [ laughter ] you had to act because he ate too many shrimp. he had an allergic reaction. >> he had a really bad cruise. the shrimp and the collarbone. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you had a -- you in a flashback reveal that you were the first covid patient zero. >> yep, that was me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you -- >> you're welcome, everybody. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you save somebody from drowning. and you operated -- a couple was making love in their cabin, and the man broke his penis. >> he did, yes. >> jimmy: you did an operation at sea. >> yes. on said penis, yes. >> jimmy: which is something

that, well, i mean -- i hope the stabilizers were on, just to start with. >> yes. >> jimmy: they probably don't do a whole lot of operations at sea? >> i think we maybe take some liberties with what goes on. >> jimmy: you take some liberties. what i'm wondering is, like "grey's anatomy," they got to the broken penis in season 11. [ laughter ] >> right, right. >> jimmy: they really built to the broken penis. >> yep. >> jimmy: and i think somebody had a gun in their vagina once. >> have you ever seen a ryan murphy show? >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> you're not waiting to season 11 for anything. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm wondering, where can you go from broken penis? >> oh -- >> jimmy: you can't go to, like, ringworm, you know? >> it has to be a particularly nasty ring worm. >> jimmy: it would have to be a ring worm that eats everybody on board. [ laughter ] >> we're nine episodes into shooting it, and there are a near infinite amount of disgusting things you can do to the human body. something to look forward to every week.

>> jimmy: are you feeling you're getting real medical knowledge now? >> yeah, sure. if they're on a plane, "is there a doctor on board?" i'm absolutely ringing that call button. "i'm here, what can go wrong?" >> jimmy: your brother -- >> a real doctor. >> jimmy: is this annoying him? >> so the other doctor that i played was dr. death. so this is better. >> jimmy: okay, yeah, that's better. you don't want your brother to be dr. death. >> that did not work out well for him. but he's definitely annoyed. every time i get a script, "hey, johnson, what would happen if?" he's like, "what in the world are you working on?" the other night, "we have this situation, i think a bowel resection is how we deal with this." he's like, "what are you talking about?" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're giving second opinions or first opinions and asking for his second? >> i figure i can walk into his emergency room now and do it. >> jimmy: he's an e.r. doctor? >> he's legit. he's the goodson. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he's the one they're proud of. >> exactly. "we have this one.

and that one." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: are you -- will you now start getting into, like, medical talk with him in general? as if you are a doctor? >> do you have any doctor friends? >> jimmy: my brother-in-law's a doctor. >> okay. >> jimmy: and i got an honorary doctorate from my alma mater unlv. and i started insisting that everyone refer to me as "dr. kimmel." [ laughter ] and most everybody was fine with it, except he was a little annoyed by it because apparently he had to go to medical school. [ laughter ] he had to do internships. he had to touch blood. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i did none of those things. >> but you felt it. >> jimmy: i still feel it. i didn't "felt" it, i feel it. >> dr. kimmel, it is a pleasure to be on your show. >> jimmy: i was on a plane. it was a week after i got this honorary doctorate. [ laughter ] there was an old man in the seat in front of me. and he keeled over. and i swear to god, this is true.

it was like a spirit airlines flight or something, i don't know. [ laughter ] the cabin was held together with duct tape. and they said, "is there a doctor on board?" and i just had this moment where i was like -- am i going to explain that it's an honorary doctorate? [ laughter ] instead, i decided to let someone else handle it. >> oh, opportunity was right there in your hands. >> jimmy: opportunity was there, i didn't want to have a death on my hands also. >> that's fair. >> jimmy: don johnson is the captain on the show. >> yes, he is. >> jimmy: it's funny to see him in the captain's uniform to start with. >> it's amazing. >> jimmy: he seems like he would be -- if i was on a show with an actor who'd been through a lot of stuff, don johnson would be in my top five guys i would want. >> for sure. he is a legend. i want to start by saying, he's a prince. he's so much 91 to work with. but really, on camera fine, all fun. really to be around don is to sit like this and just listen. man, those stories are out of control. >> jimmy: he's got a lot of good ones. >> he's lived a life.

>> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> he's lived a life. >> jimmy: he shares them freely? >> he shares them probably too freely. [ laughter ] you're all mic'd up. god only knows where those are going. >> jimmy: has he ever broken his penis on a ship? [ laughter ] >> i haven't asked him directly, but i think it's likely. i think it's totally within the realm of possibility. >> jimmy: it's great to see you. congratulations on the show. the show is called "doctor odyssey." it is on abc. i can't believe we got a big show right here on abc. [ cheers and applause ] it's on thursday nights, 9:00. joshua jackson, everybody. dr. joshua jackson. we'll be back with myles smith! >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by snapdr snapdragon, at the heart of the devices you love.

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>> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by snapdragon, at the heart of the devices you love. >> jimmy: thanks to magic johnson and joshua jackson. apologies to matt damon. we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next, but first, here with the song "stargazing," myles smith! [ cheers and applause ]

♪ oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪ ♪ time stood still just like a photograph ♪ ♪ you made me feel like this would last forever looking in your eyes ♪ ♪ i see my whole life they say you know it when you know it and i know ♪ ♪ promise that you'll hold me close don't let me go ♪ ♪ take my heart don't break it love me to my bones ♪ ♪ all this time i wasted you were right there all along you and i stargazing ♪

♪ intertwining souls we were never strangers you were right there all along ♪ ♪ i lose my mind when i'm around you how i come alive ♪ ♪ when i'm without you i can't help but feel so lost i wanna give you all i've got ♪ ♪ oh oh oh oh ♪ ♪ they say you know it when you know it and i know ♪ ♪ oh oh oh oh ♪ ♪ promise that you'll hold me close don't let me go ♪ ♪ take my heart don't break it love me to my bones ♪ ♪ all this time i wasted you were right there

all along you and i stargazing ♪ ♪ intertwining souls we were never strangers you were right there all along ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ all along ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ all along ♪ ♪ take my heart don't break it love me to my bones ♪ ♪ all this time i wasted you were right there all along ♪ ♪

[ cheers and applause ] is nightline tonight. hurricane helene, the deadly storm slamming ashore in florida as a catastrophic category four storm with maximum sustained winds of 140 miles an hour. the flood threat and hundreds of thousands without power. our team is in the path of the storm. plus power broker, new york