tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC February 29, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am EST
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>> jimmy: i'm jimmy. show. thank you for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. people got so excited about leap day. happy leap day to you too. i hope you didn't forget to set your calendar back a day. welcome to hollywood where the oscars are over, the he street is under way. did you know they make the losing nominees stay after to clean up? big bag of garbage this morning, very sad. it's a big shob job. we spent the day in our studio trying to get the stench of matt damon out of the place.asel. the red carpet's been rolled up. we are back to normal. normal for us is watching crackheads fight over a to go
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the day after the oscars i'll ilsay is always more fun than the day of the oscars. it's when people in l.a. are allowed to eat again. the improves significantly. the reason they call them stars, interesting fact, star is short for starving. how many of you watch thets last night? [ cheers and applause ] dwroept to go into it but the message was sent loudly andt here in hollywood, we cannot continue to exclude people based on the color of their skip. from now on we will exclude them thin enough to be seen publicly.] oh, thank you. thanks, everybody. "spotlight," the movie about sexual abuse in the catholic church, beat out "the revenant," sexual abuse in
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"spotlight," it was a bit of an upset winning best picture. the big upset was the best category. sylvester stallone was heavily favored to bin. instead the award went to this man who i believe is aeacher, i don't know. that's mark rylance from "bridge of spies." if i excited. even mark rylance didn't have mark rylance in his oscar pool. congratulations to all the guys who bon best sound mixing. have to draw the line, i can't thank everybody, i'm busy. if you thought the oscars were ond to last episode of "the bachelor." we are down to two this week. ben and the three ladies who are left. what did you make of what they ht dates. this is where ben and his brides decide whether or not to go to the fantasy suite.
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made. >> should you choose to your individual rooms please use to key to stay as a couple in the fantasy suite. chris harrison. >> what do you think? >> advantage of this. >> what do you think? >> i would love nothing more. than to spend the night with you. >> i'm very>> should we go? >> love to. >> jimmy: then he handed each one of them a number like you do when you're waiting in line at a deli.ere's a great moment with lauren. the last woman there talked about how private and romantic the fantasy suite was. yeah, except for the camera guy sound guy and the other guys on the crew. it's about as private as a pornovertheless, here's what
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the fantasy suite. >> tonight could be the first night i share with my future wife and it feels like an incredibleing very magical. i could wake up in the morning and know for certain that kayla's the woman for me. >> jimmy: yeah, although he didn't.hter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i will say this to. you know what? let's be honest and start calling the fantasy suite what it really is, sex tryouts.n a bikini, let's see how this goes. now what you're about to see next is to me the meat of the show. supposedly ben is there to find his wife. the love of his life. so for argument's sake let's forget about the fact that he took all three of them to the fantasy suite. three days before he'll probably an engagement ring. put that aside. pay attention now as three different women tell ben they're in love with him and count along to see how many of them he loves
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you. >> i've known i'm in love with you for a while you. >> i love you too. >> part of me has wanted to tell you something for ae with you. >> jimmy: you know, i don't love you but i will stick my tongue down hopefully i won't have to say anything. [ applause ] >> jimmy: he told two women he loves them. and then the other one he sentter taking her to the fantasy suite. now it's lauren and jojo and he loves them both. maybe he'll marry them both. maybe we'll have threesome on the show. what a show this is. some people watch this and cry. tomorrow you may know is super tuesday.he primaries and the caucuses in 13
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and right now there is no love lost between the republican candidates for president. >> firaking about polls i'm polls. >> you're not beating hillary. >> well then if i can'teat her you're really going to get killed. so let me ask you this, because you're gettingbadly. i know keep swinging, men. swing for the fences. >> jimmy: sometimes he's sarcastic. this is interesting, for those who are fans of both geographyraphy -- an adult video website released a map that shows the most-searched pornographic terms for all 50 what people in the country are searching for. and this is a real thing. well, allow me to be the first to say, welcome to [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]
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so popular. based on this a lesbian should run for president, shep. what else do we have here? delaware is a little ebony nook. we've got rhode island is milf d nebraska, arkansas, tennessee, vermont all searching for -- you see this here, pornographic cartoons. what are you peoplesee scooby do for god's sake? we're so divided in this country except when it comes to lesbians. i think the big message is if you live in montana and stepbrother, check your room [ laughter ] i mentioned last night was our big after the oscars post show had a lot of talented people contributing to that show. some very talented people. but nobody's perfect. even i'm not perfect. i know it comes asny of you. sometimes people screw up.
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assured our cameras will be there to share it with you. now for your enjoyment -- we were going to call this "bloopers and somebody owns that. here they are, outtakes from the making of last night's show. >> yes. that's so. >> you sound a lot like clint eastwood right now. >> thee in the movie. >> it's clubber! >> go get 'em. >> it's clubber! in the lead, max. >> how could this happen? >> i don't know. >> how could this happen? >> well -- [ bleep ]. >> sorry,ing another leadup. i'm trying to do your shoes. you know? >> we do things a little differently in gotham. we do things a in gotham.
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differently in gotham. >> puerto rican girl swimming y log hit her in the head. man, shut the pool down that year. >> i'll see you next week, huh?you, good-bye. >> keep touching me. >> oh, good-bye, darling. >> good-bye. >> good-bye! >> shut your mouth or i'll throw you off this planet.p your [ bleep ] off. >> i hear he's a proven lead history knows how to get things done. >> yeah. and he's -- [ bleep ]. >> well, it's thought would happen, ray.
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i knew that. i was just checking >> it's a flattering shot of me. >> the lights went out. almost?nope. yep. nope. yep. wait. all right. ready? you break that soulja >> was this planned? >> yeah, they alle racial thing? the stump >> i forgot to cross. toe tuck isn't featherable. >> what? >> is fatherable.
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>> action! goo get him! >> pop? >> quit your jibbering jabbering, fool! quit your j jimmy jabber jimmy jabber jimmy jabber quit your jibby jabber fool! >> jimmy: we have to take a break. guillermo was on the red carpet withlock of stars. when we come back, guillermo gets famous people drunk so stick around!] getting unlimited data for your family is a struggle. other carriers either don't offer it,nsive! not t-mobile! introducing the best data plan ever! get three lines of unlimited 4g lte data for justfourth line, free! yup!-
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>> jimmy: hi, everybody.ic from the strumbellas is on the way. the oscars were last night. while there were a lot of stars on the red carpet there was another very big star side, guillermo. did you have fun? >> guillermo: a lot of fun. >> jimmy: you seemed sloshed when you came back to the show, how are you feeling today? >> guillermo: not too good, : they say you can't make it into the oscars without first stopping to talk to guillermo and that's not true, many people did make it past him no problem. but many did not andn in the golden jacket on the red carpet at the academy awards. >> guillermo: it's me, going to talk to famous people and get drunk,
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>> yo, adrian! >> guillermo: hey, leo, what about my hat?leo, leo, leo! he has a hear problem, he doesn't hear me. >> whoa, look at that jacket! i'm wearing dolce &what are you wearing? >> guillermo: this is from target. you were in the "star wars" movie. >> i was. >> guillermo: how does chewbacca smell? >> he smells fresh. he loses something, very soft, very pleasant. >> red cups for red carpet and to share academy water -- rink to much tonight? >> i hope so. >> guillermo: do you want to start now? >> yeah. >> guillermo: do you want academy water? >> academy hot wate: academy water. >> go on then.
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>> is this going to render me uillermo: i hope not. cheers. >> cheers. >> guillermo: it's not really water. it's special water. >> what kind? tequila? >> guillermo: yeah yeah. >> yeah. what i need.urage. >> guillermo: all right, here. cheers. >> cheers. [ bleep ]. that's really tequila!: wait, what about my hug? thank you, charlize.ive me a little tequila. oh, it's the good stuff too. >> guillermo: we're going to shoot it. >> i already drank it! you're too slow.y. >> oh my god that's good. >> guillermo: can i get a kiss? . >> like that? oh my god, you're so cute. >> guillermo: thank you, you're so beautiful. thank you very much. hey, loser!
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get out of here, loser! sorry, loser! no way, loser! loser! get out of here! get out of here, loser! what a loser.'re in a movie. "room service." >> no, it's "room." >> guillermo: what is your favorite thing to order from room service? >> from room service is chicken fingers. >> guillermo: chicken fingers? minute too, yeah. give me high five. are you thirsty? >> you got something for me?mo: yes. i hope you win straight from the bottom of my heart. >> i hope you win. are you up for something? >> guillermo: not me, no, nothing. >> you should be. here we go, good mo: good luck. >> i love you! >> i love you. >> is this legal? >> guillermo: yes.
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i wish i'd had breakfast. you? >> i'm good, no kiss? >> guillermo: i love you in "thereat actress. >> thank you. >> how you doing? where do you work? >> guillermo: across the idn't know that. >> guillermo: can i get a raise? >> yes, you can. >> guillermo: mark, i like you hat, can i put it i love your suit! congratulations. >> gracias. >> guillermo: this is the third year that a mexican director is nominated. of mexicans taking over? >> it seems to, seems like immigration hasn't done a good job. >> guillermo: do you want a shot of tequila foryes. >> guillermo: alejandro, i hope you win. sa lewd!
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man., [ bleep ] jacket, man. >> how you feeling? not so good now. >> guillermo, guillermo, guillermo! >> guillermo: that is all the time we have, bye! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: gracias, job. we have a great show for you tonight. music from the strumbellas, ginnifer goodwin, be right back with andy samberg! >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" brought to you by chevrolet.
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eers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, there. welcome back to the show.ajor motion picture "zootopia," ginnifer goodwin is here. then from toronto their album is called "hope" the strumbellas. from the samsung stage.rte will be here, from "the walking dead" ross marquand and we'll have music from mike snow. and later this week morgan freeman, jason bateman, omi king and we will have music from charles kelley and cee-lo green.
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[ cheers and applause ]tonight is the latest in a long line of great tv andy's he spent seven years on "saturday night live" and plays cop on "brooklyn nine-nine" tuesday nights on fox. please welcome andy samberg. [ cheers and applause ] my: did you participate in the oscar festivities last night? >> um -- i can't remember. see, i was thinking about going out.remember if i went. >> jimmy: yeah, i know that you did go because i did see a picture. >> did i go? >> jimmy: you and keegan michael keane ] >> jimmy: i think that's you. >> yeah. >> jimmy: could be somebody else. what was going on? >> now i remember, i went.
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are you okay? coming back to me now. that's probably also why i sound like i'm about to die. >> jimmy: how late did you stay out? >> was fun. >> jimmy: that is late for you? "saturday night live" you stay up all night long. >> i had to shoot "brooklyn" this morning. >> jimmy: you had to work today. >> here's the truth, i wastle under the weather over the weekend. and i was, you know, invited to the "vanity fair" party which is like the party. everybody goes, it's really fun.ail on it. and then i was like, i'm just going to face time my mom. do something nice. skip the party.iming with her and she said, oscars tonight, you going out? it. she's like, what? go out! [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: your mom's like a
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>> she's like then funneled a beer. it was trippy. technology's a trip, i can watch my mom do that now. >> jimmy: do you have a nickname for your mom? >> broski, us. >> jimmy: i saw a video, speaking of you and your friends, you and a group of guys including azizon. >> oh,: tell the story. this is really fascinating to me. >> i'm friends with aziz and his brother, they're friends with me, we had an e-mail thread because his brother was following tyrece, singer, actor, mogul tyrece, on instagram. and tyrece has built an ard in his home. and one of the things in his backyard is aie ben
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his last name is called gibson. it's called gibsie hana. how do we getis is the coolest thing. aziz hit him up on twitter. it was kind of like a couple of nibbles but not real. i met him at a fund-raiser, tyrece, we've got to go to gibby! i don't know if he knew how serious we were. aziz saw him again. dude, just please let us come to gibsy hana! out this instagram. aziz and his crew are coming through tonight and we're getting turned up! so we all went. and trueinitely got turked. >> jimmy: we do have video of this. it's short video. i think it captures the essence
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>> that's it.ke a dolphin. >> jimmy: remarkable. >> that's pretty good. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: is the chef a benihana -- did he steal a chef? >> the chef is a real chef. when the lonely island was making a record we went to benihana in encino, it was the same chef. my voice cracked like i'm going it's because of the party, mom. >> jimmy: tyrece must love benihana very backyard's incredible. it's like having universal city walk in your backyard. it's beautiful. a fully functioning club and a recording studio. >> jimmy: that's when i think of when i think ofis beauty, and natural beauty. >> whatever floats your boat. >> jimmy: what was the name of that fake tennis documentary you guys did? unbelievable. [ cheers and applause ]
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so i heard you have a mockumentary as they call them. >> yes. >> jimmy: and this one, what are you tackling this time around? >> this one is actually on a much bigger scale. this is a full-onlease movie that jed apatow is producing. it is the lomey island s the title of the film? >> no, the title is unannounced. i think we were going to announce it here. >> jimmy: the title is unannounced? or the title has not yet been >> the title of the movie is "unannounced." no, i'm just kidding. tle. hey, you seen "unannounced"? >> jimmy: the untitled project. >> yes. we have i think the first poster and the title, can we show it here? real? >> this is real. >> jimmy: i think that -- people
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>> coming out june 3rd, juddproducing. >> jimmy: do we have a drumroll for the poster? the poster's a big part of the movie. who has the poster? am i supposed to have the poster? >> you guys better have it. >> jimmy: we havee is the poster. [ cheers and applause ] >> "popstar." never stop never stopping. >> very biebery. what is the name of your character? >> conner with a "4." naturally. >> jimmy: that looks good. >> it's coming, it's coming. >> jimmy: that's quite a scoop we got here. >> we pitched other names to the studio. "gremlins 3." and they said no. >> jimmy: no?
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stop never stopping." enough. congratulations on your success and everything. [ cheers and applause ] a bucket list item. andy samberg, nine-nine" tuesday nights at 9:00 p.m. on fox. we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] of. like look at a site without going to it. or watch a video without opening it. you can do pretty much everything faster. shooting stuff. muopping. shoe shopping. running. kind of. checking a flight from an email. i'm peeking my flight. i'm not peeking my flight. i'm peeking my...wait, i missed my flight. owl photos. photos of... dolphins! a high-stepping man. pizza gifs. it's all faster with 3d touch on iphone 6s. ake this stuff up. four bandits chose a prius as their getaway car. bravo-niner, in pursuit of a toyota prius. over. how hard is it to catch a prius? over.ally pretty fast. over.
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oh look, a farmer's market.me flowers for the car. yeah! holly! s. whatcha gonna do when you get outta here? i'm gonna have some fun! what do you consider fun? tural fun! ow! i'm in heaven with my boyfriend, my laughing boyfriend. m to a funky flow. who needs to think when your feet just go? whatcha gonna do when you get outta here? e some fun! fun, natural fun! baby! s screech ] ahhhhh!!! [ horn honking ] [ panting ] i focused on being prepared. [ gasp ]ife by
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>> jimmy: we're back. still to come, music from ellas. today is heap day and our friends at chevy are using the extra 24 hours to do some good. teachers in l.a. have been trying to raise supply forth computers, musical instruments, sports equipment, chemistry supplies, all the stuff schools are supposed to have but don't wide receiver rehave a camera at their school, they do not know this is first of all mr. weiss, he teaches eighth grade physical science, and mr. boynton, they can't hear me, we tolducers are from the website donors choose to help teachers raise money for classroom products.
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they don't know we're watch organize that they're on the show right now. they're about to start. we'll tell them to start. let's listen in on them. >> all right, here we go, guys, you ready? boynton. >> hi. i'm mr. boynton. i teach seventh grade math. >> and i'm mr. weiss, i teach eighth grade science.ur classrooms need your help. >> jimmy: they're right, our classrooms need your help. they're right. >> all >> our students need tools for the science lab, art supplies and musical instruments. >> they need computers and tools to educate our kids.ing them a fruitful, learning environment. we appreciate anything you can offer. >> please donate what you can. >> jimmy: hey, get that with a little bit more
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i'm not sure we're really selling how much you need -- >> what? >> jimmy: hi, there, guys. kimmel, how's it going? >> are you serious? hey. >> jimmy: we heard you need some o we teamed up with chevy to give it to you. what do you need the most? >> are you talking to me? >> a new, wireless speakers, and big printer. >> jimmy: well, we're planning to give you all the stuff you need for your school. we're going to provide your everything on your list. even the stuff the kids don't want. does that sound good? >> that sounds great. >> marvelous. >> that would bess. [ cheers and applause ] >> wow, thank you. >> thank you. >> jimmy: dr. waters, your principal, helped us arrange this. dr. waters? >> yes in. >> jimmy: we want to thank you for going the extra mile for
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you far, far away from them.s at your school and your spouses are going to hawaii. [ cheers and applause ] >> are you serious? >> really?h my goodness, thank you! >> jimmy: and maybe the best news of all is you don't have to stumble through that video you were trying to make anymore. that you will thanks tos at chevy. drink a lot of mai tais in hawaii and may halo to all of you.experience more unexpected goodness at chevy pay it forward.com. >> jimmy: we'll be right back with ginnifer goodwin!] get your honest opinion to keep things unbiased, we removed all the logos. feels like a bmw. reminds me a little bit of like an audi. so, this car supports apple carplay. siri, open maps.gets me. wow.
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it even mutes the radio until the seat belts are buckled. i'm very curious what it is. chevy malibu. and it sells for? it starts at twenty-two five. what? oh wow. i mean with that's a game changer. rolling and rocking it feels so sweet when we rock that beat! but i'm not sleeping here we go! derestimate the power of energizer. our longest lasting
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uh, hello geico?... yeah, i wa emergency roadside service and how it's available 24/7 and then our car overheated... what are the chances? can you send a tow truck please? uh, the location? not going to believe this but it's um... it's in a tree. i wish i was joking, mate, but it's literally stuck in a tree. (car horn honking) a chainsaw?eally need is a tow truck. day or night, geico's emergency roadside
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anet that is mostly water. sometimes water just starts falling out of the sky. some people sleep on water. people think it's funny to push others into water. and smart people, like this person, say there's aboute water. there's about to be even more water. when water freezes, people play on it. when it bubbles, people sit in it. people slide down it. ok, smile. in fact, there's so much water out there, why in the world would you get a phone that can't get wet? ok, try again.sistant galaxy s7 edge. yeah, we rocking right now. ere. there' s a party right now.
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animated feature "zootopia" it opens in theaters friday. please say hello to ginnifer goodwin!lause ] snooets tulations. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you're on a roll, huh? >> i am, yes. >> jimmy: with these babies. >> it's been suggested more than once my husband and i sn. >> jimmy: or watch less television, i don't know what you're watching. >> just always be pregnant on your show. >> jimmy: this is a different a different baby, yes, yes. back to back. wing iffed if we didn't do it back to back we probably >> jimmy: you do it back to back? wow. >> if you have me yes. >> jimmy: some sort of fertility thing going on here. is it better or worse the second time around? >> it's easy. we forget this time we're chasing a toddler.
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needed to like be heroes and do everything ourselves. assistance? >> yeah. >> jimmy: nannies or anything? >> too l.a. we went hippy dippy. thisg at it downton abbey" style. >> jimmy: the baby will of a assistants? >> a nanny and an underer -- >> jimmy: you don't need the under nanny but you have to have the -- in case the nanny slips or falls. is it true that your husband delivered? >> yes. talk about doing it yourselves. we were really diy about it. >> jimmy: yeah. >> he delivered the baby. >> jimmy: diy did you do that? is an actor, not a doctor. has he even played a doctor on television? >> no, no. he worked it out with a legitimate fit. that he would be at : how legitimate could this fit be if he allowed your husband --
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he just stepped aside and was like, now josh? most women don't let their of the headboard, right? he still makes babies with me, so -- >> jimmy: unless you're trapped in an elevator or something like that. >> no, he has a wholethe face first -- >> jimmy: did he know how to do it? >> i mean, we didn't watch youtube videos. >> jimmy: so he just went >> the doctor was supervising, the doctor was in the room. >> jimmy: the doctor's in the room but the doctor's not the one pulling the baby -- >> he didn't make him wear gloves. >> jimmy: what? >> and he still with me. it's amazing. it's a miracle. >> jimmy: are you sure this was a doctor you were with? >> it's l.a. >> jimmy: not a scam artist? >> we found him off "e.r."are you shooting "once upon a time" now? >> yes, the first time they worked it into the story. snow white had a baby. this time wems. you know. >> jimmy: right.
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but it's that the storyline pick the up where it left off so i couldn't technically bend they had another character pregnant and another actress on the show got pregnant in real life like several weeks ahead of me. >> jimmy: so inconsiderate. know my plan. >> jimmy: did anyone suggest snow white ate a dwarf? >> right? i do shrek out. i told them there babies. >> jimmy: oh, yes. >> like a fertility curse on the town. everyone is pregnant! instead they just stick me --g paintings or standing in bushes. you just see me from here up. >> jimmy: that would be fun for your kids to look back at. there's mommy in back of a bush. >> cause i was in her stomach. >> exactly. >> jimmy: have you picked a name out for your new child? >> no, and we talked about this last time. it's hard.t name is dallas -- >> jimmy: a great last name. >> it's wonderful, it's strong.
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geographical locations with s like an airport. we talked about -- if you double d it, it sounds pornographic. >> jimmy: we kind of blew it. our son's oliver finley dallas. we blew our two favorite names on one kid. >> jimmy: his initials are o.d. >>ze until this moment. >> jimmy: is that right? that's why i'm here. >> i wish we'd had this talk before. >> jimmy: it's good that we're doing this now. so what we've done as a service to you help you, because i'd heard that you didn't have a name in mind yet, we have two bingo hoppers over there by guillermo. in the first hopper,o we have in the first? names of vegetables in the first hopper. >> guillermo: that's right. >> jimmy: we have names of birds in the second hopper. so guillermo, you go ahead andt hopper. and pull out -- all right.
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name will be?mo: crane. >> that's our physician's name, he's going to freak. >> jimmy: this is the guy who allows people that are unqualified to deliver babies? >> but -- this means something. >> jimmy: i feel like it means something too. i guess i had it backwards. the birds were first and the -- oh, the crane is the first name. we like it llas sounds good. >> it does sound good. >> jimmy: guillermo, spin the second one and come up with the middle name for the baby. c.d., outdated format.mo: eggplant. >> jimmy: crane eggplant what do you think? >> c.e.d. is this legally binding? >> jimmy: it is. spin the middle name oncee loves eggplant. even though crane -- let's see if we can get some magic here, soming that sounds really, really good. crane -- >> guillermo: route utabaga.
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people. no, it's root-a-baug-a. congratulations to you and your baby rutabaga. "zootopia" opens in theaters friday.ic from the strumbellas. ginnifer goodwin! [ cheers and applause ] kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. (phone ringing) yo ignoring it. but that's how some presidential candidates seem to be dealing with social security.ard, and pay into it.
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i been looking at the stars tonight and i think oh how i miss that bright sun 'til the day i die but they say oh how the good die young strange and maybe we don't wanna change and they won't go spirits in my head and they won't go i got guns in my head and they won't go spirits in my head and they won't gol rattles the gun still rattles oh-oh-ohh i got guns in my head and they won't go head and they won't go
12:35 am
and i think oh't be found i'm just waiting for my day to come h i don't wanna let you down but something inside has changed and maybe t wanna stay the same i got guns in my head and they won't go spirits in my head and they won't go i got guns in my head and they won't go ead and they won't go but the gun still rattles the gun still rattles oh-oh-ohhl rattles the gun still rattles oh-oh-ohh
12:36 am
a never ending lifet to be alive while i'm here and i don't wante i just want to be alive while i'm here on't want to see another night lost inside a lonely life while i'm here head and they won't go spirits in my head and they won't go i got guns in my head and they won't go spirits in my head and they won't go ll rattles the gun still rattles oh-oh-ohhles
12:37 am
this is "nightline." >> tonight -- the powerful oscar performance of "till it happens to you." lady gaga surrounded by survivors of sexual violence. that song from "the hunting ground." calling the world's attention to the epidemic of rape culture on college campuses. tonight, we're with two activists from that stage fighting to make colleges safe. plus inside portlandia. the sketch comedy tv show that's gathered a cult following.
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