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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  March 7, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am EST

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>> announcer: from hollywood it's " jimmy kimmel live" ! tonight - naomi watts john legend and music from eliot sumner with cleto and the cletones. and now, as a matter of fact,
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>> jimmy: very nice. welcome at a time show, i'm jimmy. i'm host. thank you for watching. thanks for coming. welcome to hollywood. and wig news around here, it rained today. there was rain and even hail this morning. either that or justin bieber was pelting our houses with tiny little eggs. but something was happening and i'm glad you made it inside safely. i made a crazy video i want to show you. there's an app called masquerade. it turns your face into other people's faces. one of the people you can turn into is me. you can swap faces with the person next to you. so it was my wife's birthday saturday and my 19-month-old daughter jayne and i were making a video for her. i was making the video, jayne was just sitting there. when you see my daughter you'll agree she looks just like me. >> hello.
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>> hello hello. hi. >> happy birthday. >> happy yawallay. >> happy birthday to? >> mama. >> jimmy: there you go. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: these are the kinds of things our parents never had the opportunity to do with us. because we didn't -- never mind. anyway. there are more caucuses and primaries over the weekend. trump and cruz each won two states. rubio won puerto rico. bernie sanders won a few states. hillary clinton won big in louisiana. everyone went home a win letter just like soccer camp. participation. he also got a high-profile
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endorsement from arnold schwarzenegger. arnold officially endorsed john kasich yesterday. or maybe he endorsed a chicken quesadilla, i have no idea. i really don't know what he's saying. he can't even say "state of california." he endorsed case and i can gave him a hug, looked like he could pop his head off. this is particularly interesting. basically governor kasich is hoping to beat the former host of "the apprentice" with help from the current host of "the apprentice," arnold schwarzenegger. this is such a strange election. i personally am waiting to see who dolph lundgren endorses before i make my decision. last week we had super tuesday. on tuesday. this morning i turn on cnn to find out they're calling tomorrow super tuesday 2. there can't be a super tuesday 2. tuesday 2 already has a name, it's wednesday.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: now they're just screwing with me. this comes from the minnesota state high school hockey tournament where the captain of the team that won delivered what i think is an mvp-caliber postgame interview. >> yeah, you know, we had a few odd man rush in the first period which was not good for us. i mean, everyone had their nerves going, everything like that. which we were glad too keep them to that, everything like that. in the locker room just talked about what we need to face and everything like that. stick to the game plan. get back to it and everything like that. so just paid off, stick to the game plan, you know. stiffing up defense, everything like that. just everything like that. >> you moving on to the semifinals. your uncle stu played awhile back, 20 years ago, with alexandria. did you get advice from him coming into the tournament? >> yes, a long text from him saying don't let the atmosphere get your nerves shaken up and everything like that. just play your game. which is what i tried to do out
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here and everything like that. yeah, definitely helped from him and everything like that. >> jimmy: that's a new one. i didn't know about "everything like that." i never heard that one before. i hope to hear more of it in the future. but meanwhile, while the captain of that hockey team was unleashing a new interview phrase on the world, on saturday our friend flavor flav just stopped by the weather map on a local station in salt lake city, specifically to keep one of the classics alive. >> check this out. right over here you see right there, salt lake city, we've got 56 degrees. you know what i'm saying? also we going to take it all the way right here, you know what i'm saying, west valley? 57 degrees right here in west valley. you, let me tell you all something. you know weather's coming, it's going to be kind of good today, you know what i'm saying? this is what we're looking at today, you know what i'm saying? right over here, you know what i'm saying, over here, echo. let's go to echo, know what i'm saying? hello, hello, you heard the
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echo, right? >> jimmy: i think that's elko. i did hear the echo. wait, hold on, there's more. >> let me be here, you know what i'm saying, i'm not really a weather person, i'm a rapper, you know what i'm saying? but thank you, fox, you know, for letting me come on this morning, you know what i'm saying. big shout-out to my brother ronnie, you know what i'm saying, athletic director, west high school. we going to be back, you know what i'm saying? >> jimmy: there you go. he is a multi-talented performer, you know he is. how the hell did flavor flav first place? know what he was saying. something of note for those single and looking to mate, tinder is testing out what they call a share button. have you seen this? if you see someone on tinder who you think might be right for someone you know, you can sent their profile and then your friend can then swipe right for
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the matchmaker, or setting up a threesome, i don't know. tinder is always coming up with new and exciting ways to force us to have sex with each other. isn't the point of being on tinder is you don't have to get set up? now that they have this, how long before your mom gets on it and ruins it for you? i swiped you right, honey, i think you're going to -- meanwhile. tinder was designed to get relationships started. there's another new service to help you break up. it's called the breakup shop. it's a real company. you can hire them to send a breakup text or make a breakup phone call. a text is $10. a phone call is $29. why you wouldn't just do this yourself, i have no idea. but they'll also send a card that smells like poop if you prefer something old fashioned. or they'll send a letter. this is one of the letters they'll send on your behalf. dear stephanie. i guess you put the person's name in. i know what you and gary did at the cottage last weekend. norm showed me the whole video
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next time you want to cheat on someone, at least do it in private. enjoy being single. now i'm dying to know what gary and stephanie did at the cottage. the service is being described as uber for breakups. which makes no sense. because especially uber is already in the breakup business. >> say good-bye with uber ex. drop a pin on your significant other and our drivers do the rest. >> auburnri? >> auburnri, 338 bonaventure. >> i'm sorry to tell you, but you're not. i could hardly believe it when i heard the news today >> what's going on? >> it's not you, it's steven. he's breaking up with you. >> all uber ex drivers have
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completed a three-hour uber university course in compassion compassionate caring. how am i supposed to live without you >> please take one. >> was i not good enough for him? >> my country, we say it two stripes who come together to make zebra. >> i don't know what you're saying. >> here. eat ice cream. >> thank you. >> you know, my country say, when donkey kicks you, you ride on the donkey. i don't know, nothing is working. what's wrong? please don't cry. >> uber ex. and for even lower fares try uber ex pool. uner ex. because people are monsters. >> jimmy: we have to get to break. when we come back we'll delve into tonight's bachelor women
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>> jimmy: hi, there, welcome back. naomi watts, john legend, and music from elliot sumner obligation the way. tonight, i don't know if you watch, the "batch love" women tell-all special. i find it hard to believe they have anything left to tell but they did. they should call these special episodes what they really are, which as last chance to yell at the crazy one in public. in this case there were two crazy ones, olivia and lace, who i feel like lace was on the show eight seasons ago. it doesn't seem like it was this year but it was this year.
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tonight's shocking twist. >> your tattoo. what does it say? >> um -- you have to love yourself before you love anyone else so whoever puts is ring on my finger, i have to truly love >> are you there yet? >> no. >> can i say one thing, please? so sorry. you are crazy. but you're crazy beautiful. >> thank you. >> i don't want to seem crazy but i have to show you this one thing. >> no i need to see the tattoo. >> jimmy: she met her soul mate and her murderer in one night. [ laughter ] isn't that great? and they all lived happily ever after. what the hell is going on? on the other end of the
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television spectrum last night on pbs the series finale of "downton abbey," a show set in a more dignified time, a time when marrying your cousin was considered to be a classy thing to do. the show ran for six seasons. it's the most-watched drama on pbs ever. no show in the history of television made better use of doilies than "downton abbey." if you're a fan of the program or familiar with the beautiful opening theme song, it's a haunting theme that unfortunately doesn't have lyrics. until tonight. here now to perform the never before heard lyrical version of the "downton abbey" theme song, welcome grammy, golden globe and oscar winner john legend. [ cheers and applause ] everyone we know is very white
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mary and edith love to fight we dress in formalwear for dinner almost every night can someone come and comb my hair i have so many hats to wear grandmama is always such a witch she needs to get laid she's always ready with a diss
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we have a footman who is gay he's always carrying a tray it is time for tea and then a nap i want a scone right now let's all ride horses and talk smack edith is such a loser why won't she just die why why why why
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, john. john legend, everybody. tonight on the show music from elliot sumner. john legend is here. we'll be right back with 98 momentmy watts! >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by collection by michael strahan. available only at select
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ith something, by ignoring it. but that's how some presidential candidatesng with social security. americans work hard, and pay into it. so our next president needs a real plang. (elephant noise) (donkey noise) hey candidates,
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>> jimmy: welcome back. tonight, he's a man of music, movies and now tv too. his new series is called john legend is here. then, from england, this is her album, it's called " information." r. eliot is the daughter of a very famous musician named sting. she's really great. week louis c.k., connie britton, isla fisher, viola davis, plus music from st. lucia and the suffers. and tomorrow night, ray romano and mitt romney will be here.er. they're arriving separately. funny if they were together.
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but they're not.to us by way of england, wales, australia, new york and los angeles. she's a two-time oscar-nominee whom you can see next in " the rgent series: allegiant." it opens in theaters march 18th. please welcome naomi watts! drop >> jimmy: how are you? oh, boy. i hope thatdamage that beautiful dress. that dress must cost hundreds of dollars, first of all, yes? >> i'm sure. but i don't own it. >> jimmy: you don't own it? it afterwards? >> i don't know. yeah, well, or maybe now that we've talked about it they'll give it back, let me keep they should let you keep it, it's a fantastic dress, really unbelievable. >> these chairs are super high, i can't reach the 've done nothing
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but complain since you got out here. >> i need a pillow. >> jimmy: you need a pillow? guillermo, give the woman a pillow for god's sake.s going to go to a motel across the street -- while he gets that, welcome. your schreiber, you live here in new york? >> man friend. yes, we live in both places, we go back and forth. >> jimmy: back and forth, you have houses in either place and that's -- i mean, that's got tonice. >> yeah, it is nice. but it does get exhausting. yeah. i'm taking the red eye tonight back to ne the red eye much? >> jimmy: i have, yes. >> it's a killer. >> jimmy: it's very bad. once somebody gave me an ambien. red eye. and i cannot take drugs of any kind. and i passed out in the car to the riven, don't worry.
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i slept the car ride to the he whole weekend. then i got back in the car and went back. >> missed the -- oh, my. >> jimmy: i missed the whole weekend.t again. >> jimmy: it's bad for me. pillow. thank you, guillermo, you're auillermo: where do you want it? >> here, thank you. >> jimmy: is that where you wanted the pillow? or sit on it? by wait, are you aware the cover of one -- this is this month, by the way -- two. three. four. magazines in one month. [ cheers and applause ] it's got to be a record,, i don't know. yeah, that was one photo shoot, believe it on are not. >> jimmy: one photo shoot and you had to change into all those different outfits. then people might be on a trip to vegas and
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that's our outfit she's wearing! >> ipated on that one. >> jimmy: which one is the constipated one? >> vegas. >> jimmy: that happens in vegas. [ laughter ] whatnot. it's hard to get any exercise while you're there. slightly constipated in >> jimmy: but this i thought was very interesting. as far as magazines go. your brother -- >> right. >> jimmy: your brother's name is ben watts. >>that you don't know. and he is a photographer for, he took this -- that's your brother right there. he's beautiful, may i say. >> yeah he's got a tough >> jimmy: yeah, really. that's pretty nice. >> he does a lot of the victoria's secret models. >> jimmy: oh, boy.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> he wouldn't mind thathough. >> jimmy: he wouldn't be bothered by that. >> that would not be bad for him. >> jimmy: you made unusual news i think is a good way to putart of the hillary clinton e-mail -- i don't know if you want to call it a scandal or whatever it is. you know about this, i >> jimmy: you don't? this is a real thing. this is an e-mail from joelary clinton. you can see at the bottom the subject, from hillary clinton, i met naomi watts last weekend and we talked about you and valerie and how >> well. that's cool. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's cool? you might go to prison for this!'s pretty strange, isn't it? >> that is strange. >> jimmy: and that's true, she's not making that up?er. >> jimmy: you guys talked about valerie? >> yes.
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i made a movie about her, yes. >> jimmy: you played her, yeah. is that what you guys started talking about? >> yeah, it was a big: yeah, i would think so. did you know mrs. clinton before that? or is that how she knew -- the i've actually met her a couple of times. she's always very, very lovely to me. an impressive you ever imagine after meeting you she'd be like -- >> that she would write about me, no. >> jimmy: bup bup befinitely not, definitely not. >> jimmy: where did you start acting? australia? >> yes, that's right. that's when are i studied and did a few commercials. >> wes is a time-honored tradition on american talk shows, we dig up a commercial from your past and embarrass you with it. >> i've got quite a few. i can only jimmy: we only have one of them. but we'll find the others, don't worry. >> next time.
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>> jimmy: is that a big meat company? >> no. it's the meat board, i believe.'s a strange thing. >> jimmy: there's a meat board? >> i think i was a vegetarian at the time. >> jimmy: so -- >> makes no : wow. this is more scandalous than the clinton thing in a way. >> yeah. >> jimmy: let's take a look at this commercial from many years ago. >> hello. yes? >> tom cruise! >> oh, right, yeah. >> i hope you realize who tom cruise is. >> i didn't know tom at the
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time. >> jimmy: does tom even know about this, that thise does. >> jimmy: he knows that he was mentioned in a commercial? >> yes. mentioned. >> jimmy: when we come back we'll talk about the new movie. it's from the "divergent"ries," allegiant." naomi watts is here! [ cheers and applause ] ...and our competitors' rates side-by-side, so you know you're getting a great deal. saving the moolah. [ chuckles ] as you can see, sometimes progressive isn't the lowest. jamie. what are you doing? -i'm being your hype man. not right now. you said i was gonna be no, we said i'm sorry, we were talking about savings. y. getting that moneeeey! talking about getting that moneeeey! pe. now that's progressive. ow! [ music playing ] yeah, we rocking right now. unky flow. who needs to think when your feet just go? i gotcha, i gotcha, i
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the allegiant. that's what you're calling yourself. >> amity just doesn't seem >> what exactly are you allegiant to? the faction system? >> the factions kept chicago peaceful for a long time. >> i wouldn't know because i wasy faction. i gave up my life, my child, everything. >> i understand your anger, evelyn, i do. but the way forward already begun. i know i said i'd be alone butder and i'm not amity. so i will lie and i will fightfy have to. >> jimmy: that is name i don't mean naomits in the
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i feel octavia spencer was in the right and you were in the wrong. >> she's a better woman than i am in thisell bus your character in this movie. you've been in one of these movies already. >> yes. it's a fun ride.e they're having their face-off. i play evelyn, who is theomother. >> jimmy: how old is theo james? >> we don't need to get into that. >> jimmy: too old to be your son, right? >> yeah, i prefer to be mothers of 10-year-olds and >> jimmy: yes, yes. why not, yeah. makes more sense. maybe in this fantasy world, i don't know -- >> hollywood years, yeah.ow, he must have been on some special meds. i mean, no, really. i would have had him before myformed, i think. >> jimmy: during the pre-ovary period, yeah. but that'shere you go. >> jimmy: you enjoy that genre?
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>> it is fun. it definitely is fun. there's all kinds of possibilities. >> jimmy: there is.e that stuff in general, that's not your thing, i'm guessing? am i wrong? >> science fiction? >> jimmy: you weren't a star trek nerd orreally. >> jimmy: you weren't a nerd in any way. >> probably not. >> jimmy: yes. >> i liked the nerds. i liked hanging out with nerds. >> jimd me. >> why? were you a mean nerd? >> jimmy: no, i wasn't a mean nerd. there are no mean nice, that's right. >> jimmy: they're all picked upon, yes, in general. now it's kind of a cool thing to be a nerd. back then, no, not a be a nerd no. home alone with your clarinet. i'm speaking generally, of course, not about myself. although i was indeed home alone with my >> with your clarinet. i feel bad that you're ostracizing me from the nerdy team. >> jimmy: see, that's
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>> i have a slice of nerd in me. >> jimmy: you have a slice of nerd? i don't know why i don't believe it. >> i do?? >> jimmy: i don't know. the opposite of a nerd. i'm not saying you were a bully. >> like a cheerleader? >> jimmy: no, not a above cheerleader. yes. like, i don't know, like kind of a -- you had to have been homecoming queen >> no way. no way. >> jimmy: you weren't? >> definitely not. >> jimmy: did you want to be? >> probably. i wanted to be all things. but i was --e you the quarterback? >> i was a late developer. no, i did play sports. >> jimmy: what sports did you play? >> hockey, field hockey. we didn't dmy: okay, yeah. >> i mean, yeah. >> jimmy: you have no ice in that country, yeah. >> we did netball.ave never heard of. >> jimmy: i've never heard of it. netball? >> yeah, like basketball but you don't bounce the ball. >> jimmy: are these made-up sports? >> sports. >> jimmy: so everyone in
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australia will laugh at me? >> are there any australians or english people in the audience? >> jimmy: there's a woman from u ever heard of netball? >> yes. >> jimmy: netball? so basketball? >> except you don't bounce it. it. you can only take two steps. you can't run with the ball. >> jimmy: that's a real thing? >> yeah. >> jimmy: this woman's liee way. this is not our first experience. she works in a very drunken hospital. i'll take your word for it on that. the movie is called -- the divergent series s march 25th. naomi watts. thank you, naomi. we'll be right back with john
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>> jimmy: still to come, music from elliot sumner. extraordinary talent has brought him ten grammys, an oscar and a chrissy too. now he guns for an emmy as producer of the new historical thriller " underground."
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wgn america. to john legend.] >> jimmy: very good to see you. >> good to see you. >> jimmy: i know this is a busy and exciting time. >> very exciting. >> your show's premiering thisy exciting things are happening. >> jimmy: baby premiering next month, that's nice. >> yes. >> jimmy: your first baby. [ cheers and applause ] i imagine you're excited butnervous? >> i'm not nervous. because i don't know -- i don't really know. like i'm just going into it with my eyes open and my and i'm ready. >> jimmy: that's the way to do it. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: everybody else seems to figure it out, so -- >> i figure people been having kids for a really long: many years. >> many, many years. >> jimmy: goes way back.
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hard. i know it's going to be challenging in its own way. but i figure we can figure it jimmy: have you been getting gifts and stuff already? >> so many gifts. so many gifts. we told people at the baby shower to just give us books. because every brand sends us freeree -- we're just going to give them to charity, there's so much stuff. >> jimmy: right. you've got to keep -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you do have to keep one of them. >> we do have to keep one of them, a car seat -- >> jimmy: there's a lot of stuff you need. i know you'll get a lot of free stuff -- >> are you an aficimmy: i have a baby at home, so yes, the house is full of supplies that -- i have two older kids, things >> they didn't exist and they grew up just fine, your kids? >> jimmy: well -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, they made it l in diapers which is weird. but they're fine. yeah.
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>> yeah we got advice from a lot of recent parents. >> whoom? >> kim and kanye took us shopping. they took us to the store. >> jimmy: to buy what? >> she just showed chrissy everything a mom wouldtime. >> jimmy: now when they took you shopping, who paid for it? >> i paid for it. >> jimmy: because kanye owes a lot of money. [ laughter ] guilty if i was you. >> yeah, let me get this. >> jimmy: they told you the things you need, that's interestin >> jimmy: where did you go shopping? >> it's a -- >> jimmy: target or something? >> i forget what it's e baby shop? >> yes, somebody knows what it's called. >> jimmy: chrissy me about her mom who lives with you, mother-in-law. >> pepper. >> jimmy: her mom, she's a little bit nutty, yes? >> no --? >> she's -- she has some superstitions. she grew up in a village in
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>> jimmy: right. >> she has her own customs.>> jimmy: she told me she fills a -- correct me if i have this wrong -- a crab shell with rice and she has to carry it up and down the stairs once a chrissy swears her mom is making up these traditions. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but she gave us a necklace to wear, a fertility necklace to ere trying to have a baby for quite a while. it took us awhile to have it. she gave us a fertility necklace and we had a baby not long after oh. >> but we had a lot of doctor help too, so -- >> jimmy: who was wearing the necklace? >> christie was wearing it. so either the necklace or the whatever happened. >> whatever happened, it worked. >> jimmy: the baby is coming. is the house ready? ready. >> i know but it is not. our contractor told us it would be ready a few weeks before the baby. and you know how that our contractor the baby's going to live with him the first couple of months. >> yeah. it's going to happen.
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>> jimmy: he's going to have to figure out a way -- >> we're going to get your boy adam to come over andcontractor. >> jimmy: adam carolla? oh, yeah. >> contractor's revenge show. >> jimmy: yes, that's right. he will gladly come over your contractor. yeah. "catch a contractor," that's the name of the show. >> that's what it's called. >> no kidding. i saw it's incredible. >> jimmy: so good. because it's very serious. >> yes. >> jimmy: very intense. >> yes. >> jimmy: but you have -- it's >> yeah, well, the show is about the underground railroad. and these slaves that took thiso escape from slavery and head to the north. and the action has so much energy and urgency that we wanted the music to have it too. we tried to infuse somein there to make it feel the urgency and the energy that we needed. >> it's so strange to see these scenes, we're familiar with these movies that are
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we have that but also uptempo stuff. the song that starts the show is "black kanye. driving beat with the breathing and the energy. a guy's running through the woods so it makes sense that's happening at the same time the>> jimmy: when i was watching i thought my computer -- i thought my itunes was playing. i was like, this can't -- what's going on? i out what was happening. >> it works if you give it a chance. >> jimmy: it works very well. it took me 10 seconds to figure out what the hell was going on. was that the originalwas always the plan. that was in the first script that i read, "black skinhead" would play at the opening from the show. >> jimmy: did you make that happen? >> i had to make a call.get cleared by all the writers. which is kanye and several other people. >> jimmy: then kanye calls those guys and says, this is for john, clear the damn paid, you know. it's a transaction goes on. >> jimmy: i see.
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very my: your song became the most popular wedding song. >> a big wedding song. >> jimmy: which means you can never go to anyone's wedding everhat right? >> we get so many invitations. somehow people find out where we live. and they just send us random ever met them before. we get invited to a lot of weddings. >> jimmy: do you respond? >> no, no. >> jimmy: i always do. i get invited to n't even have a song, i don't know why. i always respond that i'm not coming but i'd still like the meal. >> oh, so you'd pick chicken or: chicken, it's usually chicken, fish or vegetarian. i always pick the meat. i ask them to mail it to me. >> and they your fault. >> jimmy: that's what they get for inviting me, you know? >> that's what they get. well, our thing is i won't go to a someone i'm so close to that i would have gone anyway. >> jimmy: i see. >> if i'm that close with them, i'll sing at their wedding.
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if i'm that close with you done that yet? yeah. >> jimmy: you have? >> my road manager hasan got married, i sang at his wedding. >> all right, that's a very --'re going to -- ask lionel richie how that goes. >> luckily i work on weekends all the time so i have a >> jimmy: there you go. >> i have to work. >> jimmy: it's very good to see you, congratulations. [ cheers and applause ] john legend! " underground" premieres gn america. and we'll return with music from
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'd like to thank naomi watts, john legend and an out of time. "nightline" is next but first her album is called "information."after dark," eliot sumner! [ cheers and applause ] after dark
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there's after light there's appetite for love laughter swellsells it's hard to get enough so after dark we sail away the after hour the after hour the opportunity awaits so stay now what if i stay now if i stay here so stay now what if i stay now if i stay here i might lose a friend after lifelife i ease the mind
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i need the light the after light to see ar another hour the after hour awaits to sail away we sail awayity with me so stay now what if i stay now if i stay hereght lose again so stay now what if i stay nowhere i might lose a friend but i don't really care after dark ooh no i don't really care
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so stay now what if i stay now if i stay here i might lose again so stay now if i stay now if i stay here
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but i don't really care no i don't really care after dark ooh eally care after dark ooh n't really care after dark ooh
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this is "nightline." >> tonight, the $100 million sex tape lawsuit. >> whoever of your penis -- >> hulk hogan suing gawker for publishing this secretly recorded video. the former his signature moves in the ring is taking on a new opponent. we are inside the courthouse as the legal battle begins. and from hollywood to the the love story that defined the life of nancy reagan. she was a force in public and behind the scenes.e been a president reagan without his wife? >> doing everything we can. >> doing everything we can.

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