and i was on the -- and kathie goes like, "jimmy, jimmy, jimmy, hoda. jimmy, hoda, jimmy, hoda."ots -- we were like one direction. 'cause like, "hi, hi, oh, my god!" [ laughter ] just ignored everyone else in the crowd screaming at you. your nieces are probably, like, "this is the weirdest life in the whole wide world, yeah. where are the wiggles? yeah, where are the wiggles?" this is -- i got to say -- look at this. you guys look fantastic on the cover of this magazine. but -- [ cheers ] you -- you're going through a rough time. you're going through a rough time right now on the fourth hour of the "today" show. >> this came at a price, this cover. >> jimmy: it really did. >> we had -- it was bad. >> jimmy: you're not drinking the whole month. >> the worst decision -- no, we have ever made. >> jimmy: ever made ever. >> i'm watching your drinking segment before this, and i'm feeling parched. >> jimmy: shaking. [ laughter ] >> no, it was not great. >> jimmy: wait, so what happened? "ladies' home journal" said, "uh-uh"? >> they said, "we'll put you on the cover if you guys don't dri

and i go, "it's hoda."e when i got to new orleans, they have names like chappa tulis. who is going to mess with me? it's like a yawn. >> jimmy: where did you grow up? >> i grew up in oklahoma, my parents are from egypt. so if you yell out the name hoda, like walking down the streets of cairo, 30 girls will think you're talking to them. here i'm the unique one. >> jimmy: yeah, well, i like it, i think it's good. i don't know anyone else named hoda. >> first of all, can i say, i'm kind of jealous though. because when kathie lee was on the show, you guys, they were practically making out. jimmy and kathie lee. no, it was a bit -- come on. you had a thing. >> jimmy: we had a thing. >> she came the makeup room the next day. she loves you. she was like, "jimmy and i had this connection, hoda." was she all over you, or -- >> jimmy: no, this was it. [ laughter ] >> what was she doing? a little of that? she is still talking about it. >> jimmy: i know, we have good chemistry. you have good chemistry with kathie, as w

he didn't say "how's hoda?" or "what's hoda up to?" nothing!ven exist. [ laughter ] i wish i could stay here all summer, but i can't because hoda will probably start crying like a big dumb baby girl if i don't go back to work. by the way, i drank a whole bottle of wine all by myself today. [ laughter ] [ cheers ] got to stay strong. love you, kathie lee. >> jimmy: that's very sweet. [ cheers and applause ] very sweet, kathie lee, thank you so much. of course, i always write home, too. and as usual, i'll use my letter-reading voice for this. "dearest mother and father -- [ laughter ] i hope that this letter finds you both shaking off your winter doldrums. oh, yes, summer is nigh upon us and with it i welcome the return of that hero of the solstice, my beloved ice cream man. [ laughter ] his melodic tune harkens from around every corner beseeching children of all ages to avail themselves to his frozen wonderment. of course, now that i'm older it is very easy for me to shove my way to the front of the line. [ laughter ] will i choose the classic p

yeah, happy hour hoda. >> but that's the real hoda.en -- i say it, but i really mean it. >> it's kind of sick, isn't it? >> jimmy: it is sick. >> a post menopausal woman and an egyptian journalist -- are the stuff of your dreams. >> jimmy: yeah, it really is. >> that's kind of sad, really. >> jimmy: no, it's not sad. it's fantastic. like, today i was watching. and today you did this whole thing, it was really cool. hoda adopted a little puppy. >> a little rescue doggy. >> jimmy: yeah. >> oh, my gosh, he is the cutest -- well, he's not the cutest thing. [ applause ] he's adorable. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. >> she's gonna name him tomorrow. she went crazy for him. >> jimmy: look at this. [ audience aws ] oh, my -- but you have, like, how many? there was, like, 10 dogs. >> there were 10 dogs. it was dating doggy time, and we met them all out in central park yesterday. i brought each one of them to her individually, and she fell in love. she took three of them home because that's the way she is, if you know what i mean. she wanted to see -- >

>> hoda. >> seriously, what is your name? [ laughter ] >> hoda.ay" show. >> who? >> enough! you know what? >> it's about to get ugly up in here. >> come on. >> don't talk about me on television! i do not think so, okay? let me tell you something. yes, bill -- >> back up. back up right now. >> don't you threaten me. don't you threaten me like that ever, okay? >> this is good tv. [ yelling ] >> start singing. ♪ silent night [ light laughter ] ♪ holy night ♪ all -- all -- >> calm down! [ yelling ] ♪ all is calm all is bright ♪ >> this is insane! >> okay. this is insane, all right? get the camera off me. "f" off. [ bleep ] ♪ sleep in heavenly peace ♪ happy holidays. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i love my wife. it's like the holidays. pretty festive for my wife. my sincere apologies to kathie lee and hoda. catch up on old episodes of "the real housewives of late night" at realhousewivesoflatenight.com. stick around, everybody. we'll be right back with julianne moore. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ sam adams boston lager is my favorite bec

and you say, "hoda, i love you the best. don't tell kathie." it's getting a little old.t? >> jimmy: i've only done it twice. speaking of writing something different -- >> jimmy: yes. >> you have written something different. i love that -- here is what i love about you, not only that you're awesome and fun and cool but also you write these children's books and you really love them. you're passionate. >> my own work? i love my own work. >> jimmy: no, you do. >> but here is the thing -- congratulations to you. that piece of crap you wrote is a "new york times" best seller. [ cheers and applause ] no. >> jimmy: it is not a piece of crap. >> no, congratulations. it's a thrill isn't it? >> jimmy: it's amazing, i mean, "new york times" best seller. >> i know. >> jimmy: it's all these guys out there that did it. i appreciate it. thank you all so much. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tell us about your book. [ laughter ] >> exactly. >> jimmy: no, no, please. now, tell us, 'cause the other one, i liked the other ones. yours comes with things. >> oh, it's always gifts. yes, yes.

how hoda? >> hoda woman's awesome. >> she has the most gorgeous feet. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i'm not usually jealous of women's parts -- [ laughter ] well, some. [ laughter ] but i am jealous, nick, when she's on, ke her come barefoot, she's goingo drive you guys crazy. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. [ cheers ] >> those guys, they got mor foot fetishes up there. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: why is -- >> well, because i was not blessed with pretty feet. my mother's toes, every one of em isn a different zip code. [ laughter ] feet like that -- yeah. i id, "mom, you kn, those will come in handy at halloween, you know." but, so, she never got the surgery and her grandmother's feet were like -- it's hereditary. then you throw in these kind of bies, look at these. [ cheers ] yeah, yeah! >> jimmy: yeah, right there, yeah. >> you know what these are ,besides incredibly way too expensive? these, ladies and gentlemen, these are stupid. [ laughter ] they're stupid. you're an accident waiting to happen. so, i had both my -- after 44 years in s

from nbc's "today show," where you can see her in the fourth hour every morning along side our pal, hodaotb. please welcome back to our show, the gorgeous, the talented kathie lee gifford. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: kathie lee, you look great. thank you for coming back. >> thank you, sweetie. thanks for having me. >> jimmy: i should say that when this airs tonight -- happy birthday. it's your birthday! ♪ why? why? >> well, i woke up this morning, and frank and i have the exact same birthday. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> he is 23 years older than i am. and woke up this morning, and goes, "i cannot -- it's just hitting me now." and i said, "what?" he said, "i am going to be 82 years old tomorrow." and that's what happens to you. it hits you like a ton of bricks. how old do you feel? >> jimmy: how old do i feel? >> yeah, how old do you feel? because i feel 28. >> jimmy: a perky 13. [ laughter ] >> there you go! a pubescent -- a pubescent 13-year-old. >> jimmy: exactly. >> a horny kid is what you feel like. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: hey -- [ cheers and applause ] do people make you drink

hoda was yoda. and you were elmo?> it's just crazy. [ laughter ] look at hoda -- she just -- it was just creepy. it was creepy. [ laughter ] >> and she talking, and i couldn't understand anything she was saying. >> jimmy: well, you couldn't understand -- you're in an elmo head. look at you there. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: look at you there. that's -- that is pretty cute. come on. [ laughter ] >> everybody was saying, i looked like, instead of a tickle me elmo, don't touch me elmo. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that is awesome. wanda, thanks for coming on. >> thanks, jimmy. thanks for having me. >> jimmy: i can't wait to watch the show. "the wanda sykes show" premieres on fox, saturday, november 7th. check it out. [ cheers and applause ] wanda sykes, everybody. josh charles joins us next. there he is in the bud light golden wheat room. hey, buddy. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ready for a refreshing new twist on bud light? ♪ introducing bud light golden wheat. all the drinkability of bud light... brewed with golden wheat for

hoda is such a pro. kegger. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they're good. >> "have franzia, we'll travel." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: franzia! >> "red or white?" >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> but it was so much fun. i had a blast. >> jimmy: oh, they're th greatest. >> and, you know, hoda is just the coolest lady ever. >> jimmy: she's super cool. we've got to talk about "white collar." >> yeah. >> jimmy: dude, the show's a smash. >> oh, thank you. >> jimmy: i'm so happy. because, you know, we're -- [ cheers and applause ] i think you had, like, the highest rated scripted drama on cable in 18-49. just -- do you want to tell everyone what it's about? i mean, you kind of understand. >> it's about an unlikely partnership between an fbi agent and a con artist, who i play. and basically, he gets his prison sentence shortened in order to help the fbi solve white collar crimes. and this season -- at the end of last season he basically stumbled upon the biggest score you could ever hope to get, as a con artist. and so, this s

i did not see you, by the way -- i was in london at the olympics. >> yes. >> jimmy: and i saw hoda kotbut, for a good excuse, you were not there. i'm very excited about this. >> thank you. >> jimmy: congratulations. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you have a show that's going on broadway. >> i can't believe it, i honestly can't. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this is major, though. >> you know, i look at that and i see it and it's been 12 years in the making. and i still go, "oh my gosh, it's really coming to broadway." >> jimmy: it's called "scandalous." >> it's called "scandalaous." it opens at the neil simon. i made a mistake the other day when i was doing promos, and i called it the neil semen. [ laughter ] and it's just -- that could be a problem. but it's the neil simon, doggone it. stop it, you all have dirty minds. >> jimmy: no, we know -- there's a movie called "scandalous," playing at the neil semen theater, as well. [ laughter ] easily confused. but you -- you actually -- you wrote this. it took you a while. ten years to write this. >> i've been fascinated by this woman, it's call

kathie lee and hoda are going to montreal., they're so excited, they've already started slurring in french. [ laughter ] isn't that cool? hi, guys. hey, this isn't good. charlie sheen's ex-wife was photographed over the weekend with a lighter and a piece of foil folded into a pipe. i guess she really did get everything in the divorce. [ laughter ] finally, a new study found that 50% of all college students get black-out drunk at least once a year. [ cheers and applause ] yep, the other 50% couldn't answer mainly because they were black-out drunk. ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: hey, that is nikka costa sitting in with the roots tonight! [ cheers and applause ] beautiful. so good. her new ep, "pro whoa" was just released, and you can see her live tomorrow in philly, thursday back here in new york. >> yeah, man. >> jimmy: little east coast action. this is awesome. so good to see you. you look awesome. >> you too. >> jimmy: you sound great. >> tha

it's great. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: #hoda. >> steve: hoda!chased by 12 giant rats. [ laughter ] they get very big here in new york, yeah. very big. pro, making a gingerbread house. con, realizing it's actually 200 square feet bigger than your studio apartment. [ laughter and applause ] new york city is very -- >> steve: high rent. high rent. >> jimmy: pro, you can see the nutcracker at lincoln center. con, or whenever a fat kid jumps on santa's lap at the mall. >> steve: oh! [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: "what would you like?" [ popping sound ] [ laughter ] he's a scientist who plays santa? >> steve: he plays santa part time. [ popping sounds ] oh. that was me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, sorry. pro, hoping for a white christmas. con, hearing toronto mayor rob ford say, "that can be arranged." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: that's not good. >> jimmy: i know a guy who knows a guy. pro, this year's macy's window display theme is "dream and believe." con, last year's was 15 mannequins with really hard nipples. not very family fr

we love you, kathie lee and hoda. we'll be right back with "ready, set, flow." and applause ] ♪ pros cons pros cons and pros ♪ ♪ oh, big game, guys! what are we having? you've got to try the new sizzling entrees. [ sizzling ] [ male announcer ] fresh flavor never sounded as good as applebee's new sizzling entrees ok, i'll have that. [ male announcer ] try our juicy new double barrel whisky sirloins and more, starting at $8.99. come taste what's new in the neighborhood. now serving half-price appetizers late night. come taste what's new in the neighborhood. has an all new camera with 8 megapixels and advanced optics. so it lets you capture stunning photos. and, because it's an iphone, you can do things no ordinary camera can do. so, maybe the only camera you need is the one on the most amazing iphone yet. i habe a cohd. and i toog nyguil bud i'm stild stubbed up. [ male announcer ] sorry, buddy. truth is, nyquil doesn't un-stuff your nose. what? [ male announcer ] it doesn't have a decongestant. really? [ male announcer ] you need a more complete cold formula, li

it's rumored that kathie lee gifford and hoda kotb are arguing -- [ audience ohs ] -- about whether too l.a. or keep it in new york. >> audience: new york! >> jimmy: it's not good. this morning, they wouldn't slur a single word to each other. [ laughter ] it was a awkward in the makeup chair, yeah. >> steve: i see. >> jimmy: i think it would be good. i mean, they're already used to drinking three hours ahead of everybody else. so, i mean, i think it'd be perfect. [ laughter ] some more celebrity news. brad pitt and angelina jolie are launching their own wine label. their kids are pretty relieved that the only thing they were adopting this time was a hobby. [ laughter ] and finally, a new app was launched yesterday that deletes any mention of your ex from facebook. manti te'o tried it and was like, "wow, it's like she never existed. it's amazing." [ laughter ] we have a great show. give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you so much, everybody. oh, man. i'm not sure if you heard this, but our album, "blow your pants off," won a grammy

my life. [ cheers and applause ] who watches hoda and kathie lee on the "today" show? to something. and they said, "what do you want to drink?" and i just said -- out of the corner of my -- tito's and soda. and they actually brought it. and it was the strongest cocktail i've ever had at 10:00 in the morning. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: tito's is vodka, right? >> tito's is vodka, the best vodka. but they get twisted on that show. >> jimmy: they really do. >> they really do. >> jimmy: or it's maybe their tolerance is so big they don't even do. the guests just get twisted. either way, it's a fun hour because you don't know what's going to happen. i love that. but you do a thing with them. it's a music trivia thing, which i really want to play. me versus the birthday boy, questlove. >> i don't know, quest knows his music. >> jimmy: i know, but it's all about who buzzes in first. >> is that how -- wait, how are you going to buzz in? >> questlove: with cowbells. >> here. this is how quest -- [ bell rings ] and how are you going to buzz in? [ ding ] yep. >> jimmy: it's quick

con -- aunt hoda and aunt kathie lee brought the cranberry vodka and the wild turkey. [ laughter ] heylove those aunts. they're my favorite. >> steve: and they got sauce. >> jimmy: yeah. pro -- snapping the wishbone and making a wish. >> steve: aww. >> jimmy: con -- opening your eyes and realizing your in-laws are still there. [ laughter and applause ] next year. >> steve: can't win them all. >> jimmy: pro -- preparing a tasteful, delicious meal that celebrates the harvest of the season. con -- by shoving a handful of stuffing up a turkey's butthole. [ laughter ] >> steve: to each his own. >> jimmy: to each his own, yeah. pro -- it's a day to share food with your entire extended family. con -- it's a day to share one bathroom with your entire extended family. [ laughter ] that is a problem. >> steve: yeah, bring the mattress. [ light laughter ] do not go in there. >> jimmy: pro -- uncle mike brought the bird, a 12-pound turkey. con -- cousin stacy brought her new boyfriend, a 200-pound jive turkey. [ laughter ] >> steve: that's no good. i know that guy. >> jimmy: we have -- george jeff

>> hoda and kathie lee are back. [ light laughter ] >> oh, no. wait, wait, wait.it's going to be like "risky business." they're going to have a big party. they're going to have a kegger while the parents are away. [ laughter ] >> i know. >> jimmy: "no, we didn't have a party, mom, i swear. we're just fine." oh, my gosh. this guy's going to be partying like nuts. nothing left behind. >> you have this giant etiquette book. >> jimmy: which is -- >> no, that's the nbc briefing book on the royal wedding. >> jimmy: that is actually it. that is it. look at this. >> you're not -- don't stare directly at it. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: have you looked at it -- >> kind of like a solar eclipse. it will blind you if you look it. >> jimmy: now what -- you have to read the whole thing just for -- >> everything. >> jimmy: for etiquette and all that stuff? >> this is everything you ever wanted to know about the wedding, the royal family. there's a chapter in there alone on pippa, the sister, katherine's sister. uncle gary has his own chapter in there. [ laughter ] huh? >> jimmy:

or as hoda and kathie lee put it, "wait, you mean the room wasn't spinning already?r ] it's a new thing? it's a new thing here? [ cheers and applause ] is it also vibrating, as well?" i love you guys. i'm joking. i want to say congrats to lebron james, who got married this weekend. we love lebron. lebron james, the greatest basketball player. it was a little awkward, though, when lebron tossed the garter to his teammates. out of habit, they passed it right back to him. [ laughter ] that's not how this works. this is kind of funny. prince william has actually asked his own childhood nanny, who is now 71 years old, to come out of retirement and help take care of the royal baby. >> steve: aw. [ audience aws ] >> jimmy: it's cute, but it's going to be weird when she's like -- [ imitating british accent ] "time for a diaper change. then i'll be back to take care of that baby." [ laughter ] [ applause ] i love that they saw it coming, but still gave it up. that's a good crowd. that's a good crowd. i love this. thank you. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] this is hard to believe, b

finally, hoda and thy lee. therthey are right there. [ laughter ] aming! amazin one day they did that. >> steve: one day! >> jimmy: yeah. speaking of "the today show", love "the today show" andr. oz our olbuddy dr. oz, he was on the yesterday with matt lauer and they were talkinabout testles. [ light laught ] as usual, droz brought some props. take a lk. >> testicles are usual a little malined. one's bew the other. just like avacados are when they're growg. it gives tm room so they don't bangnto each other. both for the avacados and the testicles. [ laughter ] and they shoulhave this sort of a gritty feel on the outside like a testicle does. so it's actually very analogist. [ laughter and applause >> jmy: note to self, if i ever go to dr. oz's house do not try the guacamole. [ laughter andpplause ] >> steve: doot. don't. >> jimmy: what? >> steve: don't eat that guacamole. >> jim: why not? >> steve: because there's nuts in it. [ ughter ] >> jimmythere we -- i'm allergic. usually i have a ball wh i'm at his house. [ light laughter ] >> steve: it's n my bag.