danny: i have yarn.on't make me use it. narrator: it's "the smoking gun presents"... commentator: oh, damn ! narrator: ... "the world's commentator: oh, damn ! narrator: ... "the world's dumbest criminals." closed captions provided by trutv ( siren blaring ) late at night in a florida supermarket, two cashiers head for home. ( bell dinging ) commentator: oh, easy, easy ! yo, it's a stickup, man ! stickup, get on the ground ! you got him, you got him ? yeah, let's go, let's go ! get up, get up, get up ! we're going back. let's go. narrator: the armed assailants force the workers into a back room where a manager is securing the store's safe. commentator: over there ! get all over there. yeah, you too ! down on your knees ! stay on them, right there. let me check this stuff out over here. what we got here ? all right, i'm out of here, man. narrator: thinking the robbers are gone, the manager dials 9-1-1. but the thief catches her and reaches for the phone. commentator: you don't call no one. oh, man, come--

danny: this is my cannabis card. i don't smoke marijuana anymore, but i do use it to chop up my meth. narrator: another 20 bits of police-blotter fodder. man: somebody call 9-1-1 ! they are kicking my ass ! woman: ( bleep ) in aisle three. man: hey, great pickpocketing technique. narrator: plus, a special public-service announcement from leif garrett. leif: actually drinking gasoline, just lethal-- most other drugs aren't that taxing on you. narrator: it's the smoking gun presents: narrator: it's the smoking gun presents: the world's dumbest criminals. the jolly pirate donut shop in west virginia... mock commentator: ( humming ) narrator: but leaves without making a purchase. moments later, two masked men enter. mock commentator: all right, stick 'em up. don't move, grandpa ! narrator: and they're not here for the crullers. mock commentator: come on, now, need that money out the register. i will hurt you ! jo: okay, dumb ( bleep ), you shoulda changed your outfit. woman: how much cash is in a doughnut shop, you idiot

danny: this is my cannabis card. i don't smoke marijuana anymore, but i do use it to chop up my meth. narrator: another 20 bits of police-blotter fodder. man: somebody call 9-1-1 ! they are kicking my ass ! woman: ( bleep ) in aisle three. man: hey, great pickpocketing technique. narrator: plus, a special public-service announcement from leif garrett. leif: actually drinking gasoline, just lethal-- most other drugs aren't that taxing on you. narrator: it's the smoking gun presents: narrator: it's the smoking gun presents: the world's dumbest criminals. the jolly pirate donut shop in west virginia... mock commentator: ( humming ) narrator: but leaves without making a purchase. moments later, two masked men enter. mock commentator: all right, stick 'em up. don't move, grandpa ! narrator: and they're not here for the crullers. mock commentator: come on, now, need that money out the register. i will hurt you ! jo: okay, dumb ( bleep ), you shoulda changed your outfit. woman: how much cash is in a doughnut shop, you idiot

rush limbaugh oxycontin, glenn beck alcoholic, danny bonaduce alcoholic? >> current drinker, not kidding. >> george bush ex-alcoholic, i mean -- >> literally jumping on the wagon. i jumped off. >> don't you think when you're an alcoholic or a drug addict and then you quit you really still have that addictive personality. you've got to put it some place else so where did you put it? >> i put it back in the bar where it belonged. >> where did you put your addiction? what are you addicted to now, talking on the radio. >> talking incessantly. it's horrifying. i use up all the oxygen in the room. >> andy glenn beck's addiction might be getting more and more publicity. >> why don't the republicans -- why do they align themselves with people like glenn beck and rick lunch but a, these zealots? >> who. >> the republicans. >> they are not exactly aligning. >> they don't say anything. >> they don't say anything. >> because they know they have a base, just like sarah palin. they know she's dumb but she has a tremendous base in the republican party on the right. >> i

danny bon due chi, actor and talk show host of 94.1 wysp in philadelphia. and judy gold, comedienne extraordinaire. welcome to the show. is that show finished? please, tell me. >> it might be. jon is putting a stop to filming. they'll show a couple more episodes until november. that's stuff they've been taking. they're stringing it together. the reason he's trying to stop it is because he wants to star in a show of his own. and believe it or not, he's teaming one michael lohan, as in lindsay lohan's father. >> another bargain. >> so the show called -- to do a show called "the divorce dad's club". >> that's going to be a hit, don't you think? >> i don't know, who wouldn't want to watch that? >> do you pay attention to the story of jon and kate. >> i have been paying attention to jon and kate. i find it fascinating that anyone would want to lay out their dirty laundry like that. >> i do it for a living. that's my job. >> he's -- he wants to bar the tlc cameras from filming his kids. >> when he was on the show, he didn't want to bar them from filming the kids.

he is the founder of the danny clark foundation, danny clark. how is kelly? >> he is coming along.e will be all right. sean: he is a great quarterback. a terrific guy to watch. we just had a long exchange. michael moore came in, we thought we were going to do a 15 minute interview, it did not stop for 45 minutes. i did not have any illusions i could change his mind. you saw the exchange. what is your reaction? >> he has got a long road to hoe if he is going to convince people to throw over capitalism in this country. you know what? he is a huge admirer of barack obama, but he did not do him any favors with this movie. you are watching the movie, he attacks the democrats in that movie. he hangs timothy geithner, ben bernanke, chris dodd, hanging them out to dry. he left obama off the hook. then he goes into the small thing about socialism and how would never have a chance in this country but they did not anticipate change coming. then he starts talking about how obama was being criticized for being a socialist, but every time they did it his ratings went up in the election. as far a

joining us now is democratic congressman danny davis of chicago. congressman, thank you very much for joining us tonight. >> well, it's my pleasure. i'm sorry that your city and our country didn't win the olympic bid, you must be disappointed. >> i'm disappointed, but i also know that chicago is a city of big shoulders, people here have a tremendous amount of resiliency, we'll bounce back. i was thinking to myself back when i was a kid, there was a year that the yankees did not win the world series. we didn't win the championship every year that we had michael jordan, but we'll make it. we put forth a good, solid, honest effort and the results just didn't come out the way we wanted them to. >> i know that a recent poll showed that a huge majority, 84% of americans supported chicago's bid, chicago hosting the 2016 games. i have to ask you what you -- what do you make of so many prominent conservatives, quite literally cheering today when they heard that chicago lost. >> it's the strangest kind of patriotism that i have ever encountered. i am stunned

>> danny doesn't want the other families to think that a drunk driver killed their families.hat's why we are out to prove -- try to prove that she wasn't drunk. >>> no one saw her that morning with alcohol, drunk, acting strange -- >> the opposite. >> the opposite. she was happy, talking to people, gave a kiss good-bye to the owner of the camp, and that person smelled her breath. there was definitely no alcohol when she left that campsite. >> and that was the attorney for diane schuler's family claiming none of the evidence in the fatal dui crash is valid. police say the new york mom was drunk and stoned. there was a vodka bottle in the car. her kids and nieces in the car were old enough to know they were in danger and one of the kids desperately tried to get help, but it was just too late. back to my fantastic panel and the phone lines lighting up. ron in new mexico. your thought. >> caller: do you believe she may have been self-medicating herself? >> dr. reef karim, when you drink and you use in anything beyond a very limited social setting of drinking, you're self-medicati

>> i do. >> glenn beck, alcoholic, danny bonaduce alcoholic. >> -- exalcoholic, drinker, no kidding. >> -- ex-chic. >> literally jumping off the wagon? i jumped off. >> when you are an alcoholic or drug addict and quit you really still have that addictive personality and have to put it someplace else. where did you put it? >> back in the bar, where is belongs. >> where did you put your addiction, what are you addicted to now? >> talking on the radio. >> talking incessantly, it's horrible. >> glenn beck's addiction may be more publicity, getting more publicity. >> why do republicans align themselves with people like glenn beck and rush limbaugh, these zealots. >> who is aligning them? >> the republicans. >> they are not exactly aligning. >> they don't say anything. >> right. >> they don't say anything. >> because they know they have a base, like sarah palin, they knew she's dumb but has a tremendous base in the republican party. >> i think that is exactly the right analogy. they handled her so well because they didn't attack her as much as they could because they knew it was just goin

glenn beck alcoholic, danny bonaduce, alcoholic. george w. bush ex-alcohol. >> isn't he literally on the wagon? i jumped off. >> when you're an alcoholic or a drug addict and you quit, you really do have that addictive personality. where did you put your addiction, what are you addicted to now? talking on the radio? >> talking inses a lot. >> insent sent talking. >> and glenn beck's addiction may be getting more and more pub publicity. >> why do they align themselves with zealots like glenn bek and rush limbaugh. >> the republicans. >> they don't say anything. because they know they have a base. just like sarah palin, they knew she was dumb, but she has a tremendous base in the republican party. >> i think that is exactly the right analogy, they handled her so well because they didn't attack her as much as they could because they knew it was just going to add fuel to the fire. if they keep attacking him, he's just going to gain and they're going to lose. >> i thought it was interesting that rush limbaugh who was such a conservative of course

danny and sandy are about to fall in love all over again. >> can i go in the back and watch the movieith guillermo? >> you can go in the back and watch. >> visit your local buick dealer today to experience the buick lacrosse, the new class of world class. >> "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes with joseph fiennes, music from alice in chains and rebecca romijn. it's not the new lexus. it's not the new bmw. it's not the new audi. what it is... is impossible to resist. the new twenty-ten lacrosse from buick. it's the new class of world class. ♪ introducing bud light golden wheat. all the drinkability of bud light... brewed with golden wheat for a refreshing new taste. bud light golden wheat. light beer. huge flavor. >> announcer: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- rebecca romijn. from "flashforward", joseph fiennes. jimmy the talking chimp. and music from alice in chains. with cleto and the cletones. and now, look out, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by abc, inc. >> hi, i'm jimmy. thank you for watching. welcome to the show. i want ev

danny bonaduce, actor and radio talk show host of 94.1 wysp and comedienne judy gold.elcome to the show. is that show finished? >> it very well might be finished, jon has put a stop to filming. they're going to be showing a couple more episodes until november. but that's from stuff they've already been taping they're stringing together. i think the reason why he's trying to stop them is because he really wants to star in a show of his own. and believe it or not, he's teaming up with michael lohan, as in lindsay lohan's father. >> another bargain. >> right. to do a show called "the divorced dads club. " >> that's going to be a hit, don't you think? i don't want to watch that. >> do you pay attention to the story of jon and kate? >> i have paid attention to the story of jon and kate, and i find it fascinating that anyone would want to lay out their dirty laundry like that. it's unbelievable. >> i do it for a living. that's my job. >> but he wants to bar the tlc cameras from filming his kids. >> when he was on the show, he didn't want to bar them from filming his kids. it

a laser right there for the score to danny coal. virginia tech cruises past boston college 48-14. >>virginia taking on indiana, the first meeting between these schools. after this one indiana might notten watt to play the cavaliers for a long time. this is all virginia all the time. they blow out indiana 47-7. virginia comes to the stadium next week to play maryland. coming up in the next hour tiger woods shows why he's the best golfer in the world. president cup highlights straight ahead. we'll head to charlotte for a preview of the skins and panthers. maureen, back to thank you. >>thank you. >>next at 10, we have your forecast. we'll be back right after this.  what is it to lead? at pnc, it's doing what most benefits our customers. whether that's building more certified green buildings than anyone on earth. creating online banking tools for the next generation. or making a 10 year, $100 million investment in kids. it's how we've always done business. and will for a very long time to come. pnc. leading the way. . >>>fox 5 on call tonight with how a

i bet you even danny boy can handle that. to your door, and the shipping is free. plus, order now and you can get an extra three weeks of awesome meals free. that's 105 meals totally free. nutrisystem costs way less than other weight-loss programs, and the best part: it works. 22 pounds. 35 pounds. show-off. loser. guys, nutrisystem is so easy, anybody can lose weight. i'm curt menefee, and i lost 56 pounds on nutrisystem. so, who's the winner now? order now and you can get an extra three weeks of awesome meals. that's right, you can get an extra 21 breakfasts, lunches, dinners, desserts, and snacks free. call or click now. >>> poe tenning bombshell revelation in the sex scandal involving the former senator and presidential candidate, john ed wars. sources telling politico.com that edwards' former aide, andrew young is reportedly holding a sex tape of the former senator and his ex-mistress, rielle hunter. john edwards has admitted to an affair with hunter. he has denied that he is the father of her child. but politico, citing

i bet you even danny boy can handle that.ing over 140 great-tasting menu options all delivered directly to your door, and the shipping is free. plus, order now and you can get an extra three weeks of awesome meals free. that's 105 meals totally free. nutrisystem costs way less than other weight-loss programs, and the best part: it works. 22 pounds. 35 pounds. show-off. loser. guys, nutrisystem is so easy, anybody can lose weight. i'm curt menefee, and i lost 56 pounds on nutrisystem. so, who's the winner now? order now and you can get an extra three weeks of awesome meals. that's right, you can get an extra 21 breakfasts, lunches, dinners, desserts, and snacks free. call or click now. >>> developing now, police say a baby kidnapped found safe in alabama. taken from his home tuesday, just four days after he was born. the woman suspected of abducting him is behind bars this morning. let's get to nbc's ron mott live in atlanta. ron, good morning to you. how did police track this suspect down? >> reporter: well, good morning, ale

danny lipford is a home improvement expert and host of "today's homeowner with danny lipford."e got a lot of great ideas. >> thank you. >> we're starting in a funny place. i think the closet you've already got the space you need, no? you'll help us maximize that space. >> when you think about a house you don't need to think about it talking about storage as square feet, think of it as cubic feet. that's what you have -- >> the space up and down and sideways and everything. >> exactly. and like in a closet, so many times there's areas in there but when you look at a closet situation you'll see that there's a lot of ways that you can change it. >> we're looking at it right now. >> right. you can utilize different types of systems that are available or have a cabinet or closet company come in and kind of customize the different cabinets for the individual that's using the closet. that will make sure you're using every single bit of it. >> you have a shoe rack you want to show us. >> right. but you can also do some very simple things. this is something that everybody can use. this

glenn beck alcoholic, danny bonaduce, alcoholic. george w. bush ex-alcohol. >> isn't he literally on the wagon? i jumped off. >> when you're an alcoholic or a drug addict and you quit, you really do have that addictive personality. where did you put your addiction, what are you addicted to now? talking on the radio? >> insent sent talking. >> and glenn beck's addiction may be getting more and more pub publicity. >> why do they align themselves with zealots like glenn bek and rush limbaugh. >> the republicans. >> they don't say anything. because they know they have a base. just like sarah palin, they knew she was dumb, but she has a tremendous base in the republican party. >> i think that is exactly the right analogy, they handled her so well because they didn't attack her as much as they could because they knew it was just going to add fuel to the fire. if they keep attacking him, he's just going to gain and they're going to lose. >> i thought it was interesting that rush limbaugh who was such a conservative of course took so much oxycontin t

danny lipford is here with great tips to help anyone paint like a pro.n you can do it yourself, right? >> that's when you can really save a lot of money when you're talking about a painting job where you actually can spend just a little bit of money and save a heck of a lot in that labor. >> let's start with caulking. >> it can be very messy. i've seen homeowners really make a mess of it. first of all, the professionals will tell you to buy a very good caulk gun and then buy the right caulk. it's labeled well. then it's also important to cut the tip at a real precise 45 degree angle and make sure that you break the seal real well inside so that it flows well. good idea is to have a wet sponge and you can see a crack like we have right here and what you want to do is to apply just the right around. not too much. >> and with that curvature that you ket with therewith the tip that will make this a little more seamless. >> and then all you have to do wet your finger a little bit and then you can smooth it out and that way you're toward allow that to dry and

it could make this little child, anna's daughter, danni lynn, there she is on the cover of "us" magazine, half a billionaire one day. straight out to my fabulous expert panel. former fbi expert in charge, don clark. legal analyst for "the insider" darren kavinoky. cnn legal analyst lisa bloom. and paul boyd, correspondent from "inside edition." paul, we have both covered so many crazy and disturbing anna nicole stories. could this be the craziest of all? >> it was a shocking revelation. i mean, who would have thought anna nicole smith investigated by the fbi for allegedly plotting to murder somebody. it kind of came out of left field, but here we have the fbi documents and it's stunning. >> yeah. and you know, after anna nicole died from a drug overdose, there was that nasty custody battle that ensued and it was all really about money at the end of the day. the big mystery, who was the real dad of anna nicole's brand new baby, dannilynn? men came out of the woodwork claiming to be the father. you remember howard k stern, who could forget him, even zsa zsa gabor's kooky husband, we certai

>> i've got danny devito in my driveway. >> espn baseball analogist -- why would phillips take the riske was fired for a similar act? >> i think men -- these kinds of men don't think they're going to get caught. they think they're above it all. these kind, we know you have established you're not one of those kind of men. you said you've been faithful. his wife had already tolerated another affair. he had been accused of this before. she stayed. he's like this has happened once before and she's in it. >> this doesn't speak well for men and women who want to have it all, a family, a career, but this is having it all for men. >> oh, i see. >> having a young girl on the side, a wife at home. that's having it all. i'm not saying it's rite, but i'm just telling you. >> how about the old-fashioned way? hair plugs and a porsche. >> why can't they go through their midlife crisis just becoming shopaholics. >> you hate us men no matter what. >> we love you and we thank you for coming on the show. you're so funny, we love you. >> and if you're in texas, nick depaulo will be at the houston improv. a

host: danny, on the independent line. caller: with all the fear being whipped up by a few governments in the world, i would say we must remember that though iaea was correct when they assessed that iraq did not have the weapons they were accused of having. and the iaea, although they said iran broke the law, also said there is no evidence they are pursuing such weapons. it is relief fervor being worked up. just thinking logically, or i should say there is a probability for iran to have the ambition to fire rockets anywhere -- israel or europe, would mean that they are suicidal and want to be invaded and destroyed as a country. so, what is the probability they will pursue such a suicidal path and that is the obvious outcome? guest: it is true that one of the first things that could happen in a war -- we saw this in the gulf war, would be a war of missiles. the main not being clear, but would still terrified. there would be tens of thousands of people in those cities to would be targeted. host: we're us by twitter, if mutua

>> i've got danny devito in my driveway. >> espn baseball analogist -- why would phillips take the riske was fired for a similar act? >> i think men -- these kinds of men don't think they're going to get caught. they think they're above it all. these kind, we know you have established you're not one of those kind of men. you said you've been faithful. his wife had already tolerated another affair. he had been accused of this before. she stayed. he's like this has happened once before and she's in it. >> this doesn't speak well for men and women who want to have it all, a family, a career, but this is having it all for men. >> oh, i see. >> having a young girl on the side, a wife at home. that's having it all. i'm not saying it's rite, but i'm just telling you. >> how about the old-fashioned way? hair plugs and a porsche. >> why can't they go through their midlife crisis just becoming shopaholics. >> you hate us men no matter what. >> we love you and we thank you for coming on the show. you're so funny, we love you. >> and if you're in texas, nick depaulo will be at the houston impr impr

thank you, danny from prescott, arizona. >> first, i would like to say as a disabled american veteran, i highly respect the duly elected president of our country. but i feel his nomination, i would like to know who nominated him and i believe it is absurd. what has he accomplished? as far as bringing peace. he can't even bring peace into his own adopted, if you will, home town of chicago. i would challenge president obama, he makes a decent wage will maybe there is some way he can donate this money. >> that's exactly what he's going to do. he is giving all $1.4 million. i want to thank both of you for calling in. continue calling, we'll be back. >>> a police chase in texas now over. hln news and views. hi there. boi, oh, boy, what a day here. the pursuit there lasted a little more than two hours and went through at least five different counties. the driver is in custody now and likely to face multiple charges in all the different counties. officials stay chase began because of basically a gas drive-off. that happened in sherman, tex. that's when the suspect allegedly drove off without