at nbc. >> jimmy: i love the page system here. >> they turned me down. >> jimmy: why?to you. >> jimmy: no. did you really? you can do it. you're a funny guy. >> i -- as people say, i just want to say -- i would like to say how proud, in an almost fatherly way, i am at how you have grown in this job. i'd like to say that. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: don't make me cry. don't make me cry. >> now -- [ laughter ] you see how i had to go for the cheap gag of adding, "i'd like to say." >> jimmy: yeah, you'd have to say, but you'd like to though -- >> because it makes me jealous. >> jimmy: but in the meantime -- you were the first phone call i got when i started this show. i was about to go on and someone -- it was the morning of and the phone rang. somebody said, "jimmy, dick cavett is on the phone to talk to you." i go, "are you serious?" and it was really your voice. i didn't know if it was someone who was impersonating you or -- >> oh, did you -- did you think that was me? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: probably someone at howard stern playing a goof, yeah. unbelievable. >>

and there is no stronger, more resolute support er -- i'm sorr, i missed a page. >> jimmy: well, whenng to impress fifa, you can't miss a page. this is not the first time the united states was beaten out by qatar. the first was in the most sand competition. they crushed us. qatar is a tiny country, less than 2 million people. it's about the size of phoenix, arizona. but their national soccer team is nothing short of world class. they average just slightly under no goals a game. so, no world cup for us. sorry, guillermo. >> no good, jimmy. >> jimmy: what are you going to do? the really big story in sports today, lebron james returns to cleveland. his first game back home since he packed up, moved to miami. lebron got le-booed. cavaliers officials requested fans refrain from directing vulgar language at lebron or his family, even saying that offensive signs or clothing would be confiscate and replaced by cavaliers gear. which, so basically it was free j jersey night in cleveland. lebron had a huge game. the heat clobbered the cavaliers. they did. personally, i hope all the negativity di

check out all the playoff action on the "jimmy kimmel live" youtube page. >> the "jimmy kimmel live" fantasy league right here every week. >> presented by gmc. i'm jimmy kimmel. >> and i'm his cousin sal. just shoot me. >> pow. >> perfect. >> dicky: to follow the action all season long, go to the "jimmy kimmel live" youtube channel and click on fantasy league for scores, videos and more. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live" back in two minutes with kate bosworth comedian greg fitzsimmons and larry king. ( woman ) come on, kids, come inside. the droid 2 global. run a universe of free apps on the world's fastest mobile phone processor. the droid pro. a fortress for data, a global office as mobile as you. now get a droid 2 global by motorola for $199.99 and get any phone free. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's “jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- larry king. from “the warrior's way”, kate bosworth. and comedian greg fitzsimmons. with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" ♪ >> dicky: and now, stay right where you are, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everyone. wel

jimmy: and they were really good. and i wrote a children's book -- called snowball fight. [ laughter ] it was about 13 pages long. >> niceeah. i actually had my worst one was -- there was a boy who lived down the street from me named timmy and he used -- he had a german shepherd and he had a on his bicycle he would ride in front of my house. he didn't like me. and he didn't like anybody. but he had a police baton that he attached to his bike. so he could take it. and when you would walk into school, you know, would ride by and just a backpack or something and -- >> jimmy: he'd give you a good rap. >> yeah, he was really scary. >> jimmy: he's a bully. >> and i did not like him. >> jimmy: timmy the bully. >> i would run by his house. i mean it was -- he was terrifying. >> jimmy: i know these kids. >> and my other friend who lived near me one day, we saw timmy going by on his bicycle and he said, i dare you to throw a snowball at him. and -- >> jimmy: come on. why? >> i didn't know why. i just -- i never thought i would hit him. i never thought i would see -- and it went -- [ laughter ] and he just stopped his bike and very

i try and make it cool though -- >> jimmy: i will buy nine of the items on this page. kidding, i'm not. i see sock monkeys. >> sock monkey's great, right? >> jimmy: why not? why not have monkeys in your shoes? here's a little peanut butter gelly is sandwich cutters. >> you can shape them like fun things. i did my christmas shopping with you and i'm happy to be here to reciprocate. >> jimmy: thank you very much. one of the things you talk about a lot is extra virgin olive oil. >> evo. >> jimmy: which you call evo. >> evo, uh-huh. >> jimmy: an easier way to say it. >> i've been on food network for ten years. originally, i just started saying evo because i'm talking to myself and a bunch of vegetables. it was just quicker. >> jimmy: you even have your own. >> yep, hi, baby. >> jimmy: you have your own extra virgin motor oil too. >> my husband came up with that. [ applause ] >> jimmy: there's a -- you need both of them, right? >> interchangeable. >> jimmy: why do they call it extra virgin in the first place? you can't be an extra virgin. >> yeah, i mean, are they -- >> jimm

jimmy: yeah. pro -- it comes with an 80 page notebook featuring copies of handwritten notes, doodles and random scattereds. con -- just like george bush's first draft of "decision points." [ laughter ] very interesting. pro -- fans get an unprecedented look into springsteen's creative process and mindset during one of the most defining moments in his career. con -- plus that dude from "the sopranos" plays guitar. come on! [ laughter ] stevie! pro -- the reissue contains a more upbeat, joyful version of "racing in the streets." con -- it contains a darker, more brooding version of "santa claus is coming to town." [ laughter ] ♪ you'd better watch out you'd better not cry you'd better not pout i'm telling you -- ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: darker, brooding version. why? pro -- bruce! con -- jenner! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] any fans of wheaties out there? the kardashians? pro -- the album cover shows a young artist struggling to deal with fame and disillusionment with the music industry. con -- it also looks like the world's first american apparel ad. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]

jimmy. that is your last call. thanks for joining us tonight. we'll see you again monday. make sure to check out our fan page.o to facebook.com slash greta wire. you can also follow us on twitter, and greta wire.com. just follow us all the time. until then keep it here on fox news channel. bill o'reilly is next with the o'reilly factor. good night from new york. we'll see you monday night. be there. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> glenn: hello, america. earlier in week, we celebrated america's first christmas in wilmington, ohio. we celebrated a town coming together to celebrate their unbreakable spirit. it was two christmases ago that wilmington was hit by a self-described economic tsunami. d.h.l. shipping closed its factory doors. 7,500 people out of a town of 12,000 found themselves suddenly unemployed, just in time for christmas. the town faced a choice. in that moment, wilmington, ohio, was to become pottersville or bedford falls. wilmington, ohio, chose the latter. people banded together, having rotating dinners at each other's homes. no one was going to let their neighbor go hungry. they supported each other. they still do

page at abcnews.com. that's our report for tonight. from all of us at abc news, good night, america. >> dicky: it's the "jimmy kimmel live" fantasy league. presented by gmc. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. >> and i'm cousin sal. >> jimmy: the regular season is done. and you know what that means? >> playoff football. >> jimmy: let's go and see what happened in the regular season. j.b. smoove unplugs the fridge, putting team perry's postseason dreams to rest. >> jimmy: the sports guy nearly doubled team she herald's score. >> the fighting kimmels fall to mchale. and he will not make the playoffs. >> i could care less. >> jimmy: and finally, kristen bell's squad snabed the final playoff spot with a convincing win over team carolla. let's look at the postseason. >> "jimmy kimmel live" fantasy league playoff bracket. brought to you by gmc! >> team simmons plays team bell. team kimmel plays team shepard. that's it. >> dicky: to follow all the playoff action, go to the "jimmy kimmel live" youtube channel and click on fantasy league for scores, videos and more. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes with music from the temper trap,

page at abcnews.com. that's our report for tonight. for all of us at abc news, good night, america. >>> hi, ooim jimmy kimmel.g you a chance to raise $10,000 for your favorite charity. and a trip to madrid spain to test drive the all-new focus. all you have to do is submit a video to the ford focus facebook page, explain which charity you want to support and why you and a friend will be the perfect team to travel to the event in madrid. >> i do the video. you can watch it for me please? >> yes, i would love to, of course. >> 2, 3, 1. action. hi, look the beautiful car ford focus. look. open the door. can open from that. you want to go. i show you how. you start the car. you push that button right there, okay? you steer the car. turn that wheel. when i'm in this -- i get my friend guillermo. right? >> s i. >> this car have everything, amazing car. >> hold on. you realize this video isn't supposed to be how to drive. write this down, will you? you got your thing? this video is supposed to be about why you should get to drive the ford focus and about your favorite charity. read that back to me. >> yeah. >> abc.

page at abcnews.com. that's our report for tonight. from all of us at abc news, good night, america. >> dicky: it's the "jimmy kimmel live" fantasy league. presented by gmc. >> hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. >> and i'm his cousin sal. ? what a weekend it was. do you smell that? >> is that playoff football? >> that's salami, actually. we had playoff football, too. semifinals. let's go to the scores. >> dax shepard stuns the fighting kim ms to advance to kimmel bowl one. >> a dark day for me and our nation. in the other semifinal game, the sports guy bill simmons showed kristen bell no mercy as he advances to the championship game. cousin sal was able to get this interview with simmons moments after the outcome. i'm here in the locker room with bill simmons, the sports guy, who just dispatched of kristen bell to make it to the championship game. let's see if we can get a word. sports guy? >> hey! what the hell? >> big, big win. how do feel? >> i mean -- i beat a girl. i feel like you should feel -- >> she is a girl. you have any parting words? >> i have my book, "the book of basketball," available in stores everywhere. why are you laughing? >> it'

page or on "nightline's" pace at abcnews.com. that is our report for tonight. for all of us at abc news, good night, america. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with a message about google demo slam. for those of you who haven't seen it yet, demo slam shows online videos people are making that show all the cool stuff you can do with google technology. the videos then fight each other on demoslam.com to determine which video is best. for instance, i thought it'd be fun to make my own demo slam with the help of guillermo's chihuahuas, paco and pepe. hey, guys. >> they only speak spanish, jimmy. >> jimmy: i know they do. and that's why i have google translate all ready to go. "do you want a treat?" okay, now translate. we'll take that as a yes. let's try another one. "is it fun to be a chihuahua?" and translate. [ speaking foreign language ] okay. all right, one more. that was cute. "put your feet up." i would like to see that again. and translate. [ speaking foreign language ] oh, look at. that guillermo, you're not supposed to do it. google translate. there has never been a more adorable way to rule the world. he's very s

jimmy. that is your last call. thanks for joining us tonight. we'll see you again monday. make sure to check out our fan page.o to facebook.com slash greta wire. you can also follow us on twitter, and greta wire.com. just follow us all the time. until then keep it here on fox news channel. bill o'reilly is next with the o'reilly factor. good night from new york. we'll see you monday night. be there. know. bill doesn't shop. >> bill: "the o'reilly factor" is on. tonight. >> this bill shouldn't pass. and you should call your congress people and senators and ask them to vote against it. >> bill: well, that didn't take long. just before the talking points memo last night harry reid pulled the corrupt spending bill off the senate floor. wow. do we get results or what? [bell] >> if you get sick, america, the republican health care plan is this, i do quickly. -- die quickly. >> bill: was the epitome of dumb? the least intelligence, stupidest statements of the year. >> i would like my life back. >> bill: lou dobbs on where we should put our money in 2011. and filing a false rape charge and president obama getting tax

jimmy carter kept a daily diary of his life in the white house. when he left, he'd compiled more than 20 volumes, some 5,000 pages.e's edited those down for his newest book, "white house diary." last week ray suarez talked to president carter at a forum sponsored by the smithsonian resident associates program in washington. here are excerpts. >> the existence of the book at all is kind of interesting to me. i want to know how your contemporaneous musings at the end of the day instead of being locked away until future historians could get at it came out during your lifetime. >> well, three or four years ago i started reading over some of the diary notes for other purposes. i realized that so many of the things that i had to deal with that were very serious on the desk in the oval office now for president obama to address: the middle east continues, energy, human rights, environment, the koreas, china, afghanistan, iraq and so forth. i would say the main difference between 25 years ago and now is the polarization of the parties. i had tremendous support from republicans in the house and senate. one of my closest wor

jimmy: welcome back to our show, everybody. quickly, i just wanted to mention that just today, mere hours ago, i launched my facebook fan page.baby. if you go right now to facebook.com/jimmyfallon, you can see some of my old embarrassing videos from "the groundlings." check out some photos from my "snl" days, incriminating as well. and even better, you can like me. [ laughter ] you can really, really like me. we're going to be putting up lots of fun stuff there, over the next few months. it's gonna be fun, so check it out, please. [ cheers and applause ] i'm very excited about it. you guys, today is friday and that's usually when i catch up on personal stuff. i check my inbox, i return my e-mails and of course, i send out thank you notes. [ cheers and applause ] -- send out a thank you note. i'm running a bit behind today, so i thought, if you guys wouldn't mind, i'd just like to write out my weekly thank you notes right now. is that cool? is that all right? [ cheers and applause ] jim, do you have any thank you note music? ♪ oh, my gosh. [ laughter ] oh, man. man, oh, man. that's very emotional. thank you so much. [ laughter

page at abcnews.com. >>> that is our report for tonight. hope to see you back here tomorrow night. for all of us at abc news, good night, america. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with a message about the bud light hotel. the place to be during the first week of february, leading up to that big professional football championship game i am legal little prohibited from mentioning by name. go to budlighthotel.com to secure your reservation for what i expect will be a super fun time. guillermo is packing for the trip now which seems early to me, guillermo. >> you know, jimmy. all week long, there are going to be nightly parties including the playboy party including a concert. i cannot wait. >> jimmy: and why are you packing a football helmet. are you playing in the game? >> you never know, jimmy. >> jimmy: you know what? you probably don't need -- i'm positive they're going to have bud light at the bud light hotel. >> i know, but what i'm going to do until i get to the hotel? >> jimmy: you're right. you definitely pack the bud light. and are paco and pepe going? >> just paco. pepe has to go to school. he's going to be a -- >> jimmy: what? >> j

page at abcnews.com. >>> that is our report for tonight and the week. for all of us here at abc news, good night, america. >> dicky: tonight on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> jimmy: i want you to know at thanksgiving dinner, the only thing i thanked god for is you. >> that doesn't surprise me. >> one way to do a turkey call is with this gobbler and it has a little diaphragm in it that allows the air to vibrate. you should try it. >> i want to see this -- >> no, no. >> jimmy: she is going to make a lucky turkey very, very happy one day. this is a variety magazine, they put you on the cover. i want to show you, on the inside cover, look at what that sucker is. on the inside cover. >> you know what we like to call that in our community? top -- bottom. >> yes. >> i think you're so cute. i love it. >> thank you very much. this looks like you have a little strap around you, you know what -- >> regis! >> jimmy: nicki minaj. "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes with david sedaris, music from nicki minaj and ben affle music from nicki minaj and ben affle affleck. with chase freedom you can get a total you're welcome of 5% cash back in your pocket. fun money from free

page at abcnews.com. >>> and that's our report for tonight. from all of us at abc news, good tonight. from all of us at abc news, good night, america. áwáwáwáwáwáwáwáwáwáw >> jimmyjimmy kimmel with a message from dearfoams, the slippers so indulgently comfortable and fashionable that you can relax at home or wear them on your show. dearfoams make the perfect gift for everyone on your holiday shopping list that has feet. and you have a chance to win free slippers at slipperfairy.com. every week, the first 50 people to submit a video of themselves can win a free pair of dearfoams. can you say it, you can tweet it or you can sing the slipper fairy song. like these people. ♪ so i wrap your feet ♪ in comfort and style ♪ a holiday gift ♪ to make your feet merry ♪ brought to you by me ♪ i'm a slipper fairy ♪ thank you, dearfoams slipp slippers, look. >> jimmy: nicely done, uncle frank. >> dicky: go ahead, make yourself comfortable with dearfoams. go to slipperfairy.com or follow on facebook.com/dearfoams. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live" is back in two minutes with autumn reeser, music from miguel and magic johnson. ugh, my sinuses... the congestion... it's your fault. na

page at abcnews.com. >>> i will see you on "good morning america" tomorrow, if you're getting up early and be back here tomorrow night. until then, good night, america. >> dicky: tonight on "jimmykimmel live" -- >> i apologize. this is going to be fine. i'll be right back. okay. bear with me for a second. excuse me one second. i need to talk to john. >> you need to stop calling me john. i'm spider-man. >> look, everyone. it's john krasinski. all right? let's go inside. >> i can't believe you did that. >> i have wanted to make love to you for my whole life. i'm sorry. >> jimmy: when i go on that show and one of you tells me that, we will make love. we will. >> biggest [ bleep ] i've ever taken. >> and they put that sucker right into your [ bleep ]. >> it's a palin-gosselin campout. but when the kids get into the weapon's trunk, all heck breaks loose. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes with rosemarie dewitt, music from crystal castles and john krasinski. the power of a duramax turbo diesel and rugged allison transmission. proven in the real world for more than 10 years - and backed for 100,000 miles. with more than 20,000 pounds behind you, shouldn't you put a tru

page at abc n abcnews.c abcnews.com. i will see you here all week long. until tomorrow night, for all of us at abc news, good night, america. >>> tonight on "jimmy kimmel live." >> it's a good thing it doesn't snow here. could you imagine lindy lohan driving on ice? you have a friend who's a professional eater? >> he's not a professional eater. he's an extreme eater. he'll eat a steak, then the bone. >> is he a human or a dog? >> he's half billy goat. >> someone has been been leaving gifts with a note that says come from your secret santa." [ screams ] >> jimmy: definitely a partridge missing from that particular pear tree. >> i spent a lot of time in europe and paris. i lived in paris when i was 16. >> jimmy: who do you live with when you're there? >> it was one of those model apartments. not as glamorous as they sound. >> lo and behold, my cousin chris said he still having -- >> the temper trap. ♪ ♪ ♪ love don't change a thing [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: jimmy k ymy kimmel lik in two minutes. ♪ ♪ , [ female announcer ] tide with acti-lift technology helps remove many dry stains as if they were fresh. ♪ tide with acti-lift. says i'm too...obnoxious.

page at abcnews.com. >>> that is our report for this night. for cynthia mcfadden and terry moran, i'm bill weir. for all of us at abc news, good night, america. >> dicky: tonight on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> think there will be more hookups in seaside. jersey girls are a little easier. >> grenade whistle! >> jimmy: i saw the movie, it came out really good. >> oh, yeah, oh, good. >> jimmy: nobody licks any balls in this one, but i think it's fun -- >> did they lick balls in the original? >> jimmy: not that i remember. i'll have to look at the dvd extras. >> name something everyone knows about abram what lincoln. >> [ bleep ] the slaves. >> the slaves. >> woo, yeah, i love it. yeah! >> i just write personal poems. >> jimmy: is that right? >> i don't give gifts anymore. >> jimmy: terrible news for your friends. diddy dirty money. ♪ >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live" back in two minutes with sean "d "diddy" combs, diddy dirty money "d "diddy" combs, diddy dirty money and music from jeff bridges. exa so i bought k-y kissable sensations for the body. jeff bridges. chocolate for her. mdiddy dirty money and jeff bridges. uhjsdidd money and jeff bridges. diddy di money and jeff bridg