mr. bradshaw, dogs can't read. (laughter) >> stephen: sarah palin claims she knows all the lettering-- lyrics to rapper's delight, alaska karaoke bars, you've been warned. this is "the colbert report." captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: whooo! whooo! >> stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen! (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome to the report. thank you for joining us. nation, barack obama is the worst type of democratic politician. an effective one. (laughter) on tuesday he was down in el paso, texas, laying out his plan for immigration reform. what does barack obama know about immigration? everybody knows he was born in america. i have proof. (laughter) besides, this speech was about one thing only -- >> is the president pushing real reform or is he pandering from latino votes. >> he's pandzering for votes down there. >> it's pandering. >> stephen: a total latino panderfest. excuse me, pander fiesta. (laughter) >>