you guys feeling good? i love you. [ cheers and applause ] did you guys see this?n this week's republican debate, michele bachmann said that when it comes to balancing policy, the republican party needs to be a 3-legged stool. [ laughter ] which explains the new gop chairman, anthony weiner. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] you get it? >> higgins: oh, boy. >> jimmy: speaking of anthony weiner, his wife returned home today and their relationship might be on the rocks. [ laughter ] you can tell he's bummed. today he tweeted a photo of himself at half-mast. [ laughter ] [ singing taps ] ♪ this is surprising, you guys. a new survey found 87% of high school seniors are less than proficient in u.s. history. not me, i mean, in fact when i was a senior, i did a ten page paper on my favorite president, george jefferson. and that was a -- [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers ] ♪ we're moving on well we're moving on we're moving on moving on up ♪ ♪ we're movin on we keep movin on up we're moving on moving on up ♪ ♪ we're movin on we keep movin on up well we're moving on mov

"you guys are gonna go loop de loop for ron paul, you guys. round paul. want to try it? you got to buy it." okay. some more political news. yesterday, joe biden said that working on the deficit with republicans is like carpooling to work. in response, everyone who carpools with biden was like, "it can't be that bad. [ laughter ] that's awful, what we have to deal with it." and a new study found that arkansas is the most depressed state in the u.s. that explains their state motto. [ sighs ] [ laughter ] change that. >> steve: that's a bad state motto. >> jimmy: they can change it. yeah. get this, the postal service said 5,600 mailmen were bitten by dogs last year. and that was just in "new yorker" cartoons. [ laughter ] that was dick cabot, i think he liked that one. i don't what to make of this. four people were arrested in texas for selling illegal drugs and raccoon meat at a car wash. yeah, the cop was like, "you boys are in big trouble. y'all giving a bad name to every carwash/raccoon meat shop in texas. [ laughter ] bad name!" and finally, an 80-year-old woman in cal

guy. remember him? remember the guy who was like we used to have pillow fights in the navy. i just like to go actively hug men. huh? that guy. that guy at least had the common decency when he knew the jig was up. he was like okay. got me. i resign. today, i have more respect for this man than anthony weiner. it is -- may i show you where we put the bar? okay. right about here. this is where the bar is. right about here. yeah. okay. all the way down. thank you. that's where the bar is. about 400 feet beneath my hand is where the bar currently is. in our country. this guy is one of the most arrogant men i have seen. you know when the doctor says hey, finish your antibiotics. why do they tell you to do that? if you don't. this is what the doctor never told us and now we figure out with the superbugs. if you don't finish the antibiotic it makes the bug stronger and then you have a herculean virus running around killing everything and nothing stops it. i'm just saying, if you don't, if this doesn't stop this guy, if people don't cry out for this guy to be i don't know, packing gr

the only guy who calls me as a guy on the wrong party that came 20 years after i left. his boy started breaking. i said mr. chairman you need to know something. i said what you went through set a protocol that 25 years later one another president faced the future and the republican congress was doing it, we adopted your rule. that became the template that we used. that is not a bad legacy for a tenement kid from new jersey. he perked up and he said okay, i think actually we can go out to dinner. come on over. sadly it was not to be because a couple of days later chairman rodino passed away at the age of 96 but i was always grateful for him to take enough time. want to lead time for questions in this book has hundreds if not thousands of them yet so i will leave you with a couple of quick ones. the president obviously gets up -- -- ends up getting impeached into say we are unwanted when we get there could be a euphemism and it was a bipartisan lack of appreciation for our president. we were told very early on that in fact trent lott told me the republican leader, he told

it's time to play "name that guy." ] ♪ name that guy ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. [ laughter ] let's give it up for tonight's lucky contestants. come on over, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ welcome to "name that guy." the rules are simple. we're going to show you a picture of a guy, and you're going to have to correctly guess his first and last name. so, for example, here's an easy one. i'll show you a picture, and you would say -- [ laughter ] that's right, larry gregg. [ laughter ] [ ding ] larry gregg. [ laughter ] like i said, that was an easy one. they'll be much tougher in the real game. you guys ready to play? all right, very good. here we go. let's go to round one. [ laughter ] we're on a tight budget, so we had to steal all of our graphics from old episodes of "home improvement." [ laughter ] contestant number one, where are you from, and what is your name? >> i'm sara, and i'm from scarsdale. >> jimmy: very good, sara. that's a very weird name. [ laughter ] all right, you know how it wo

you want to see these guys?here we go. i'm going to bring him over here. it's okay. >> jimmy: oh, man. >> it's okay. look, guys, look. here's some food. here's some food. it's okay. come here. don't run away. don't -- no, come on. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: it's all right. okay, get him. >> no. here, have some salad. whoa! [ laughter ] he's running away. >> jimmy: that's all right. >> grab him. he's going to eat salad. these are calls emus. they're going to get six feet tall. they're going to weigh close to -- here, look. salad. there you go. it's bonnie and clyde. here, have some salad. want some salad? >> jimmy: stop throwing things at me, please. >> they -- look. she's going to get six feet tall. they're a cousin of the ostrich. they look like they have fur on them. and as they get older, they're going to get more, like, feathers. they get awesome. like the stuff they put in steven tyler's hair. they'll get a few from these guys. it's awesome. and they're just such a cool animal. they're like -- >> jimmy: e

come on back you guys!o combo. i'm serving up three awesomely delicious tacos, crispy golden fries, and an ice cold drink for only $3.49. wow, there is such a strong family resemblance! yeah, we all got nana box's nose (chuckles). hey marcel, watch this! [ buzzer sounds ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hey marcel, watch this! yeah, marcel! -marcel! ey marcel! are you listening to me? marcel! [ male announcer ] only at&t u-verse lets you follow your favorite channels on one screen. just $29 a month for the first six months -- dvr included. in the network there are no hard choices. [ whistle blows ] all right, layups, guys. let's go. in sioux falls, i locked in a rate. coach, you get that house yet? working on it. [ coach ] the appraisal? ...springfield. wherever i was, my citi mortgage consultant had me covered. [ crowd cheering ] and 500 miles from home... [ cheering, cellphone beeps ] ...we finally had a new home. [ male announcer ] from pre-approval to closing, citi is with you every step of the way. what's yo

at him and he's hauling guys out of the water i said this guy is either brave or stupid or both and but he kept doing it then he made several trips back each time with a boat load of went wonderbra under marines going back to the transport ship for medical treatment with these guys. and he saved the lives of nearly seventy marines that day. i got to know a number of the medical doctors we had eight as they're a member aboard. and the senior medical officer of an old guy and i chance conversation i want to know what his specialty was he said that my gynecologist and not seeing the may to be about as absurd a thing as i could imagine i said you know just possibly any one of us might be prayed and he said i'll take care of you. but there was another guy among the eight he also and a chance higher chance conversation i want to know what history actually was he's a path ologist by training and i said you're a natural for this you can be sure and take care of all of us so the medical doctors on my ship as well as on the number of other transports there purities guys i remodeled remember d

it will be fun, you guys. now, it's time, ladies and gentlemen, to take a look at the stories making headlines today, and weigh the good with the bad. it's time for "pros and cons." ♪ pros and cons and pros and cons and pros ♪ >> jimmy: tonight, we'll be taking a look at the pros and cons of sarah palin's one nation bus tour. [ laughter ] she's riding around the country in her giant bus visiting historic landmarks causing a lot of media buzz. let's take a look at the pros and cons. here we go. pro -- sarah says the one nation tour is her chance to remind americans to celebrate all the things we have in common. con, like not voting for her in 2008. [ laughter ] none of us did, yeah. >> steve: no. >> jimmy: we have that in common. pro, she's bringing the whole family along for the ride. con, including bristol, piper, track, trigg, tripp, triscuit, trombone, tron, and triaminic. [ cheers and applause ] trojan's not going. >> steve: no. that's why they got triaminic. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: pro -- there's no itiner

sweet guy, just the nicest guy you would ever want to meet and your going to be hearing that and his family is an amazing family, lots of brothers and sisters. and they have been in the bay area for long, long time. th' crushed as we all are. when i heard his name, it's a double-take. you don't keep contact with that many people after high school. i did bump into him at a couple of fires over the years and we kind of waved at each other and laugh and that kind of thing. just a tragedy and for the lieutenant perez, also. these were such great guys and the loss is going to be felt by so much. >> lieutenant perez, talk about giving of oneself. his brother is a san francisco police officer, his other brother is an oakland police officer. he was a sheriff in the alameda county sheriff's department before coming over here for the last 21 years. >> talk about dedication. >> i should say. a man that grew up in san francisco and, you know, is saying good-bye as well right here in the city. >> yeah. joining us today for our coverage is firefighter bill tweedy. we were talk earlier. you have 27

come on, guys. i want to see wiener's press conference. >> and if this guy wants to start fighting with me again, i have this photo, but i absolutely do -- i am not doing this for gnaw fare yus purposes. i want an apology for allowing for his political protectors which this was his strategy was to blame me, to blame me forking thating. >> it turns ut on andrew breitbart was at wiener's press conference and in a bizarre and awesome moment reporters told breitbart to taken the podium where he schooled them all on wiener's lies. and then wiener himself showed up and we had the same question. last friday night, did you tweet a photograph of yourself and you intended to send it as part of a joke to a woman in seattle? >> last friday night i tweeted a photograph of myself i intended to send as a direct message as part of a joke to a woman in seattle. >> once you realized you posted it to twitter did you panic? and what is up with taking it down and saying you were hacked? >> once i realized i posted it to

et cetera, the most obvious guy.thing i see tim pawlenty say in the last month appeals to me. now, he's not the jazziest guy in town, and he's not the most exciting. if you look at what he says and his vision for america and the plan he put out in the last 48 hours, every time i see him on an interview, whether it's your show or somebody else, the guy makes sense. >> he definitely does. my only issue with him is he's not the most dynamic of characters. does that matter anymore? >> it makes a lot of difference to get elected. it doesn't do a hell of a lot for you once you're in the job. >> you're a republican. >> absolutely. >> you want someone to beat president obama. barack obama, whether you like him or not, is a very, very dynamic kind of character. >> terrific. >> he has a youthful exuberance, zest and all that kind of thing. you look at somebody like tim pawlenty, i think he's a smart guy. i have enjoyed having him on the show. he makes a lot of sense, like you say. i can see the temptation. in your heart do you

i've got to go, guys. barking ]. ♪ >> dicky: the bud light port paradise cruise sets sail again this year. find out how to get aboard at facebook.com/budlight. bud light. here we go. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i don't understand what's h hpening there. these dogs are attracted to human women. it's ridiculous. [ laughter ] "jimmy kimmel live" back live in two minutes with d hanni jones, comedian hannibal buress, and jason bateman. here we go! ♪ ♪ how many people did we invite? about 8 cases worth. [ male announcer ] for a limited time only, the new my bud light bottle. with a special label that lets you use a key or coin to write your name, number, whatever... here we go. matt, come on... seriously!?!? ♪ [ whistle blows ] [ squishing ] [ male announcer ] pool filled with caramel. not as good as chocolate filled with caramel. milky way simply carameme life's better the milky way. before you say anything, it was 1995. [ kenny ] it was '93. kenny, 1995 was the year the song came out. it was '93. that wa

this guy just blew himself up. will the collateral damage be too much for nancy pelosi, for the rest of the party? or are they going to say this guy will sink or ship, and chances of getting back the house. remember, that's their goal, remember, that's their goal, winning. the rabbit aerating pourer aerates your wine right in the glass, to improve its flavor and bouquet. the rabbit wine preserver vacuum-preserves your wine with a gauge that shows you the vacuum. open, serve, and preserve your wine with rabbit wine accessories by metrokane. >>> sarah palin is grabbing the headlines, but today rick santorum is officially getting into the race. he announced his candidacy in southwestern pennsylvania where his grandfather once worked. a staunch social conservative served two terms in the senate before being trounced in 2006. he lost that race by 17 points. we'll be right back. gives you a >> ( rooster crows ) >> by 2020, 50 billion network devices will roam the earth. that's seven devices per person. this will change h

the guy's no good.? >> jimmy: i very much think so. >> i don't always agree with that. you'll have to keep watching. we'll have to stay in touch. >> jimmy: i will. let's look at drunken tim. [ tim snoring ] >> tim? [ tim continues snoring ] tim? tim? hey, tim? >> jimmy: tim is the first guy to ever die on "the bachelorette." now, tim had to go home, right? i mean, literally had to go home. >> yes. yeah. >> jimmy: is snoring a deal breaker for you? >> no, but getting heavily intoxicated the first night they meet me is. >> jimmy: that's a bad -- >> yeah that's a bad thing. >> jimmy: but the worst guy of all, in my opinion, is this guy bentley. bentley, first of all, named after an obnoxious car. >> i like the name. i like the name. >> jimmy: the name is great if you're on "the jeffersons." if you're a real person -- >> you are on tonight. >> jimmy: -- it's not good. i have a lot of thoughts. i watch this and i feel like i wish i could have helped you during the process pick these guys. i see things you do

now, as you guys know.ight." ♪ harder, better, faster, stronger ♪ [ laughter ] so before every show, we put out a suggestion box for the audience, just to get some feedback about what you guys think of the show. things you'd like to see us do, that kind of stuff. so tonight, let's look inside the audience suggestion box. here we go! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ all right. here we go. let's see what we've got here. first one is from craig stewart. it says, "hey, jimmy. i work at city bank, but i called in sick today so i could come see your show. can you do me a favor and not read this because if you do, i'll get fired." okay. [ laughter ] next one here. from lacey shulman. it says, "hey, jimmy, i was wondering do you think you could throw a pancake like a frisbee clear over the entire studio audience? i bet a really good pancake tosser with a really aerodynamic pancake could do it. consider that a challenge fallon." [ cheers and applause ] what your problem lacey? i'm always up for a challenge. let's do this!

sorry, guys."ember. yeah. >> it's a nice little frame, it's right there. >> jimmy: any -- did you celebrate at all? >> i wasn't going to and then, my wife threw me a "congratulations, you're unemployed" party, which was a surprise. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's very nice of her. "congratulations you're unemployed." >> i didn't see it coming and looking back, there were many signs, telltale signs. but, long story short, she was able to -- well here's the thing, we were supposed to go out that night. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i went out, i tried to get some exercise, i came back and i could hear her walking around in the house. and i'm like, "those sound like fancy shoes." and then, next thing i know, she was gone. i said, you know, "what?" with friends in town. oh, our cousin picked her up and we're supposed to meet at 6:00. and then she texted me, come at 7:00. and i'm like, "i'm not going out tonight." "you have to go out." so, i go out. we get there. where's my wife? my cousin says, "she's upstairs with

is that my guy? >> he's a dead guy. no, he's a bad guy. he's a bad guy.you got him. >> jimmy: i just took out the one right there. you guys this is a super fun game. i would play this all day long. this is rad. you guys -- thank you much. [ cheers and applause ] "battlefield 3" will be in stores everywhere october 25th. battles performs next. come on back, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ female announcer ] did you know that sprite is made with artificial preservatives? ♪ so get real. try sierra mist natural. naturally sweetened with real sugar and nothing artificial. for a crme taste. deliciously refreshing sierra mist natural. the natural one. for a refreshing twist, add a splash of your favorite fruit juice. go to facebook for delicious drink ideas. hey marcel, watch this! [ buzzer sounds ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hey marcel, watch this! yeah, marcel! -marcel! -hey marcel! are you listening to me? marcel! [ male announcer ] only at&t u-verse lets you follow your favorite channels on one screen. just $29 a month for the first six months -- dvr in

here you go guys. dry off.ve "late night with jimmy fallon" moist towelettes. [ laughter and applause ] that's it for the competitive spit takes, everybody. we'll be right back with john c. reilly. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] it was forged from the fires of imagination. sculpted by an unyielding passion for design. ♪ and tempered by 125 years of legendary performance. introducing the all-new 2012 cls from mercedes-benz. where the world's greatest automobiles take shape. mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. and olive garden's one of the few places we can take them where everyone's happy. try our new four cheese pastachettis. with grilled chicken breasts in a garlic cream sauce. or with grilled sausage. starting at just $9.95. only at olive garden. [ male announcer ] thanks to the orbitz matrix display, you can make more knowledgeable decisions when booking vacation packages. ♪ see all your hotel and flight options and savings for the ideal vacation. perfect. [ male announcer ] when you orbitz, yo

hey, guys, listen to this.ne of sarah palin's supporters is about to release a documentary about her called "the undefeated." really? "the undefeated?" [ laughter ] that's like a documentary about arnold schwarzenegger called "the faithful." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] that's right. someone made a two-hour documentary about sarah palin's political life. in case you're interested in watching a movie that's longer than palin's actual political life. speaking of the palins, in a new interview, bristol palin says she doesn't plan on having more kids any time soon. but then she added, "but that never stopped me before." [ laughter ] i just saw this, president obama is planning a state visit to puerto rico in june. i'm sorry, "a state visit to puerto rico"? i'm pretty sure that's a vacation to puerto rico. [ laughter ] "we also have just normalized diplomatic relations with sandals resort in jamaica, so i've got to get over there and make sure -- apparently they stopped doing massages. [ laughter ] so we've

this guy just blew himself up. will the collateral damage be too much for nancy pelosi, for the rest of the party? or are they going to say this guy will sink or ship, and chances of getting back the house. remember, that's their goal, winning. more when we come back. [ male announcer ] to the 5:00 a.m. scholar. the two trains and a bus rider. the "i'll sleep when it's done" academic. for 80 years, we've been inspired by you. and we've been honored to walk with you to help you get where you want to be. ♪ because your moment is now. let nothing stand in your way. learn more at keller.edu. >>> sarah palin is grabbing the headlines, but today rick santorum is officially getting into the race. he announced his candidacy in southwestern pennsylvania where his grandfather once worked. a staunch social conservative served two terms in the senate before being trounced in 2006. he lost that race by 17 points. we'll be right back. gives you a full serving of vegetables, plus a full serving of fruit. but it just tastes like f

hey, guys.ure you've heard of this by now, but last week cbs announced that ashton kutcher is replacing charlie sheen on "two and a half men." did you hear about this? pretty big news. this is -- but, some other news that's not getting as much attention, apparently charlie sheen is replacing ashton kutcher on mtv's "punk'd." [ laughter ] i know. it seems crazy, but it's pretty much the same show. it's basically just him pranking people around the office. it's called "sheen'd." [ laughter ] take a look. ♪ >> welcome, my gods and goddesses. i, the sheen man, have this new show where i get to go around pulling the most bitching pranks on droopy-eyed trolls. these pranks are so gnarly they might melt your face off. check out this first prank. what you working on there, dude? >> i got this report that i have to finish by next friday. hey! >> you good? >> no, you're wrecking my work. >> you just got sheen'd. >> what? >> sheen'd. sheen'd. troll. yep, pretty bitching. you mess with sheen, you get sheen'

, a great guy. mark to rosa. played in 29 regular-season games for the giants. he is an infielder, an outfielder. in the regular season, there were lots of heroes for the giants, but nobody had more big home runs, seventh inning or later, down the stretch, bay area native, grew up a giants fan, outfielder tad burrow. [applause] how about what a weapon this guy turned into? first baseman, travis ishikawa. [applause] this guy knocked in a run in game 1 of the world series, bay area native, giants fan, outfielder nate sherholmes. [applause] latest and gentlemen, the hall of fame in cooperstown new york, for this morning because they have a lot of memorabilia from the giants on display right now, including the batting helmets worn in the world series. ladies and gentlemen, the national league championship series mvp, here is toni ross. -- tony ross. [applause] an important pick up midseason, late-season from the chicago cubs, he started four different post-season games for the giants, infielder. will th

i'm so excited, you guys.onight we have elmo on the show. [ cheers and applause ] he tried to cancel on me last minute and i was like, "aw, hell-mo!" [ laughter ] some -- some political news. the white house opened a new round of budget talks this week with members of congress. i bet those talks are easier now. it's like, "i want my budget. you want yours. there's only one way to settle this. raise your hand if you found and killed osama bin laden. anyone? [ laughter ] oh yeah, that was me, so -- my budget it is. yeah, thanks." [ cheers and applause ] by the way -- yes, we did. did you see this? rush limbaugh said yesterday that obama never would have tracked down bin laden if it wasn't for george w. bush's policies. although, in fairness, obama never would have never been elected if it weren't for george w. bush's policies, so -- [ laughter ] i guess -- [ applause ] hey, you guys the tony nominations were announced today and our guest tonight, the great whoopi goldberg, got five nominations for her musical, "

this guy's starting to intrigue the hell out of me. i talked to some guy.said, i'm going to have -- i almost dropped dead. this guy would never support tim pawlenty in his life. he's a democrat. he's going to fund raise for him. >> why do you think he's doing that? >> he likes what he says. there's some buyer's remorse on the wall street crowd over the obama selection, whether you want to buy that or not. there is some buyer's remorse. >> you think everyone on the republican side is waiting for somebody to come through now? i get it is sense it's all kind of in limbo. >> it is. >> the issue now seems pretty clear cut. forget any kind of foreign policy issues. it's about the economy. it's about jobs. >> it's not a vision for america. it's about where are you going to take america? do you believe in america's greatness? do you have an economic plan that's going to create jobs? are you going to create an exciting innovative america where people are going to win? are you going to grab people by their shirt and excite them about where you're going to take americ

what's going on with this guy here? >> this is a weird guy.ing in the aisle, you know, a few rows ahead of me, just looking down the aisle. he looked kind of european. >> jimmy: he has smell lines coming off him. >> no, those are really coming up. >> jimmy: this onene- this one's my favorite one, i think. guy is very business-like. no, wait, this is my favorite. just like my grandma, by the way. do you -- do they catch you, ever, drawing them? >> no, i'm very good about that. i can be drawing you right now and you would never know. >> jimmy: i would not know it? because i'll do that and get mad when they move. because i feel like they should posing for me. >> say i was drawing you -- >> jimmy: let me get you a pen. >> you're a passenger and you're sitting. every time you look over. [ laughter ] that's the secret. >> jimmy: i like that. >> one step ahead. >> jimmy: so, you're on the plane, you'll see kevin and he's probably drawing you and then people should be complimented by that, i think. >> yeah, yeah. i was coming back from lake tahoho onc

you know, the guys. he told the guys to please back away and strangely they all followed his -- like right away followed his instructions. and so he and cathy started talking and i'm going to let jovan tell you how they met a little bit more. but what struck me is -- this is a woman who would take on his case, who would say you've been here for six years. you've been in this -- in that holding cell for six years? and this is a woman who would take his case on and essentially save him. and the only reason he met her was because he made one small -- one small act. i mean, a small act can bring about big changes. so that one -- he could have just kept walking by, what did he care? he was in a holding cell for six years. but, you know, the reason eric is talking about forced confessions is because the way they got in that holding cell was having jovan in an interrogation room for two days after he'd seen a fight but i'll let jovan tell that part of the story. >> okay. well, the way that things happen when i

you guys -- [ laughter ] guys he's passed out from heat stroke. uh -- all right. that's enough.out-out to the fourth of july in philly. [ cheers ] shout-out to "fruit by the foot." shout-out to magazine perfumes. very good. shout-out to the club. shout-out to babies. shout-out to summer. [ cheers ] shout-out to wool caps in the summer. and shout-out to all our fans for making "thank you notes" a hit. that's all the time we have for shout-outs! thank you! we will be right back with jason lee! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] good news: men use soap. bad news: men use soap that can really dry their skin. and some have been doing so for over twenty years. so, if you think about it, soap has been drying men's skin since break dancing became totally rad and macgyver was saving the world with tweezers. fear not, dove men plus care is here. it's the bar with one quarter moisturizing cream, so it cleans and leaves skin feeling moisturized. dove men + care. also try dove men + care sensitive clean body wash. [ ding! ] dirty mouth, huh? what've you been up to? ♪ bleeeehhhhhh!

how are you guys feeling tonight? feeling good? cheers and applause ] well, it's official, turns out it was weiner's weiner. [ laughter ] that's right. at a press conference this afternoon, congressman anthony wiener admitted that he tweeted out that photo of his crotch. during the press conference, congressman wiener was choked up and got a lump in his throat. not as big as the lump in his underwear, but still a very emotional -- [ laughter ] it's been a tough week for him. i mean, he has lost so much support. he had to buy a second pair of underwear to -- [ laughter ] i'm just glad he had the balls to admit his mistake. [ audience ohs ] been a crazy few days. first, wiener admitted that he tweeted out that photo of his crotch and john edwards was indicted for covering up an affair. or as arnold schwarzenegger put it -- [ as schwarzenegger ] "thank you, god! this is the best week ever. [ cheers and applause ] finally, no one's talking about me for once! >> steve: "mildred!" >> jimmy: "mildred!" >> steve: "i'm getting a twitter acc

so they drop 11 paratroopers in, led by a guy who is still around, a 90-year-old guy earl walter. >>who is like seven feet tall. >> he's like what they thought the cannibals would be. an earl walter leads this team in to protect them from the thousands of stone-aged cannibals who live there in this valley while the army is saying, well, we got to figure out some escape plan. in the meantime, let's put more guys in. >> so meanwhile, they sit in the jungle with these guys eating spam and canned bacon for like two months. >> yeah, yeah. it was actually almost like r&r. >> jon: crazy. then they decide, let's walk out of here. >> right. >> jon: let's dplied out of here. >> they realize... new guinea is this incredible tropical jungle. you can't get out of it. so they just say, we're going to do this, this is our plan, we'll basically drop stuff for you to build a makeshift football goalpost, and we'll string a rubber band across the top of it and we'll put that to a glider. and then we'll put some people in the glider and then we'll have other planes come, sweep into this valley. >> jon: