it goes out to the team at abc channel 5 woi des moines news lieder. last week i attacked woi when their general manager ray cole refused to air our colbert report superpac ads. you have [bleep] with the wrong people! colbert superpac is 165,000 strong, baby, here us roar. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: i happen to foe you haven't won a local emmy in ten years. want to touch mine? (cheers and applause) >> stephen: now that was a low blow. almost as low as the number of emmies they have. (laughter) >> stephen: but it turns out that i have met ray cole and he has touched my emmy. (laughter) you see, what happened was-- (laughter) in 2008 we had just won our first emmy and naturally i went to the bathroom to celebrate. (laughter) the only other gentlemen in there who i had never met was ray cole. he offered to hold my little trophy while i peed. (laughter) i said i would rather you hold my emmy. and in return-- true story, true story. (cheers and applause) >> true story, in return when he peed i held his package-- (laughter) >> by which i mean these lit

seriously, woi news team, i'm leaving on vacation for two weeks and i am trusting you to stay on top of this. will you promise me right now to get to the bottom of parry with an a gate. >> we promise. >> stephen: good. do not give up until you can taste emmy. remember, the whole world is watching. the whole world is watching. the whole world is watching. the whole world is watching! >> we'll be right back. >> the whole world (cheers and applause) >> stephen: thank you very much. welcome back, everybody. thank you so much, everybody. folks, folks t is no secret that i have had a long time beef with my rival cnn wood elf anderson cooper. i cannot stand anything about him except those eyes. they are the exact benjamin moore color i painted my master bath. (laughter) but that where the admiration ends, folks because as you recall not long ago i called out mr. 360-- 360 for ripping off my on notice board with his segment the ridiculist and as punishment i added him to my absurduchart. the absurduchart is to you guarded at all times by a pla typ us in a birthday hat. i think it's obvious w

seriously, woi news team, i'm leaving on vacation for two weeks and i am trusting you to stay on top of this. will you promise me right now to get to the bottom of parry with an a gate. >> we promise. >> stephen: good. do not give up until you can taste emmy. remember, the whole world is watching. the whole world is watching. the whole world is watching. the whole world is watching! >> we'll be right back. >> the whole woldld a young man with ambition met an old man at the top asked him if he had a secret and the old man stopped and thought and said: free 'cause that's how it ought to be my brother credit 'cause you'll need a loan for one thing or another score 'cause they break it down to one simple number that you can use dot to take a break because the name is kinda long com in honor of the internet that it's on put it all together at the end of the song it gives you freecreditscore-dot-com, and i'm gone... offer applies with enrollment in freecreditscore.com (cheers and applause) >> stephen: thank you very much. welcome back, everybody. thank you so much, everybody. folks, folks

the team at woi, des moines aes news leader. i'm talking amanda, rachel, john walters on sports and brad edwards at the weather map. and you know who i think could really get to the bottom of this, intrepid reporter katie eastman. she has proven that she is a journalistic bloodhound. >> the city of des moines has been talking about this park for a long time now. and dog owners of des moines couldn't be happier that the park is finally here. >> stephen: thanks, katie. (cheers and applause) thanks, katie with. that kind of doggie scoop, i smell a poolitzer. you're welcome. woi news team, you find out how many people voted for perry with an "a" and you can broadcast those results on my show. or i'll broadcast the shows on your show. (cheers and applause) find out the truth. it's out there. so is the fried butter. wrap it up, boys. two hours till bedtime. let's move it. ooh. [ male announcer ] movies right when you want them. watch unlimited tv episodes and movies instantly, all for only 8 bucks a month from netflix. >> welcome back

woi. should i have the boys from who news 13 explain it to you. and listen to how they end. please let me know if you have any more questions. yeah, just one more. what the [bleep]! with an "a" i am mad! (applause) i am how manying mad. but of course i'm not mad at the news team. amanda and rachel, top-notch. of course john walters giving you the latest on sports and brad edwards manning the weather center, no! i'm talking about woi management. you had our ad for two days, gentlemen. hell, you had my money for six days. and one hour, one hour before taping you suddenly said hey, it might be too confusing for your viewers. really? both of them? i happen to know, i happen to know you haven't won a local emmy in ten years. want to touch mine? (cheers and applause) i know what happened here, folks. you clearly received phone call ordering you to shut colbert down. from one of the other six shadowy superpacs that are trying to muss nell on our rightful place as the official unconnected pro perry superpac. well, i don't know who you normally deal with but woi-abc 5, you have [blee

it goes out to the team at abc channel 5 woi des moines news lieder. last week i attacked woi when their general manager ray cole refused to air our colbert report superpac ads. you have [bleep] with the wrong people! colbert superpac is 165,000 strong, baby, here us roar. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: i happen to foe you haven't won a local emmy in ten years. want to touch mine? (cheers and applause) >> stephen: now that was a low blow.