greg, kimberly? >> greg: i don't think i can top that.road trip i remember when i was a kid is the single serving cereal boxes when you were a kid. the condominium of cereals. by the end of the sumer the only thing left is special k. and brand flakesful all be alone crying in the back of a cupboard. >> andrea: what was your favorite? fruit loops. >> greg: apple jacks. that is it. >> kimberly: really weird, i'm going to bring it back to wholesome. my favorite road trip i went with my little brother with my mom and my dad. we went to disney land for the first time. we brought our big green bean bag and put it in the backyard and beat each other up. by the time we got to disney land it was so much fun. the best vacation and road trip i ever had. >> bob: i was supposed to meet my nieces at disney world. i was late because i was hungover. it tried to bribe my way to the front of the line. a 20-year-old girl said, "we don't do that here." >> kimberly: you tried to corrupt mickey mouse. >> andrea: i didn't take a road trip. >> kimberly: we took

you make my takes. >> greg: greg lies on his -- >> dana: greg lies on his driver's license about hising 1/32nd cherokee. >> greg: i'm being insulted by a smurf. >> kimberly: i can't go there. treacherous. >> bob: i am not 100% apache but i have a puppy beagle and i'll be in central part tonight. jimenez is not match.com. >> bob: you owe me an apology. >> kimberly: i think unitly in the long run we talked about this early this will benefit brown, because he is going to be able to say look at this. our credible, for the record we don't know that she is not 1/32nd chi32nd cherokee. picture on the mantle. i'm part puerto rican. >> dana: if you go back that far we're all part that -- >> greg: i own a cherokee. a jeep. >> dana: that's the mini one. >> greg: why are you doing this? >> bob: greg, get out of here buddy before you're slammed some more. >> greg: i know. >> kimberly: your big wheel. >> greg: now you're joining in. well done. this is bullying. >> dana: sisterhood. >> greg: federal judge suggests cutting the ten commandments down to six? what does he want to cut? remove thou shall

>> greg: absolutely. >> bob: they say absolutely no. >> greg: once people know that your party loses.bob: it's not true. >> greg: scare people and pit people against each other. >> bob: no. >> kimberly: hannity said he never got a job from a poor person. >> eric: communism and social schism a more fair system? >> bob: i didn't say. that i'm for fair, we all -- >> eric: it's code. >> bob: not ripoff robbing, capitalism. >> andrea: we have had this debate before. [over talk ] >> kimberly: one at a time. >> andrea: he had an opportunity to reform the tax cut. he didn't do it. he's too busy talking about birth control and social issues and the other stuff that is a huge distraction. >> bob: what you said would backfire on him but it seems to be working well. >> andrea: can i finish? >> bob: sure. >> andrea: going after rich people not the way to do it. i don't know one person who doesn't want to be successful or rich. rich people fund the welfare state. who pays for the crazy green jobs? >> kimberly: two seconds in? do you have a comment about bill clinton saying obama an amateur? >> greg

>> greg: no. right. >> bob: if i can get through this. i didn't are one until right now. i was telling them, i gave commencement address at a prison once for graduates that got a high school equivalent diploma in washington, d.c. i don't mow where you are doing time now. if you remember and have gone straight, let me know. i had a great day that day. i liked it. the food sucked. outside of that it's good. >> dana: think they watch fox? think they'd watch fox news? >> bob: highly unlikely. if they stole a tv. >> andrea: if they're in thailand. do we get -- >> bob: nothing wrong with that. >> eric: military watching

we agree. >> greg: that is the point.tection racket against failure. >> eric: your example of the teacher clearly teaching completely wrong things gets laid off with pay. >> bob: 98% of the teachers not like that. >> kimberly: in new york, there are a couple that have been highlighted where they're accused of inappropriate behavior with the young children. you know what i'm talking about. you can't fire them. they're still being paid. >> bob: that sounds like to catholic church. >> kimberly: it doesn't. we're not going to tolerate more disparaging comments about the catholic church. >> bob: 23 you are talking about ib appropriate teachers and -- inappropriate teachers i can talk about inappropriate priests. >> kimberly: then you know what? >> greg: let's talk about inappropriate democrats, then. where do we start? >> andrea: they have their own version of the rubber room. >> greg: i'm being as tacky as you are. >> bob: i'm trying to say i don't think you can paint everybody as a negative because there are examples. it's t

>> greg: we have to. and commit crimes and they can't control themselves. >> dana: are you mocking me? >> greg: yes. >> kimberly: didn't we have a show "happy hour"? it was banned already. >> eric: if the idea is problem drinkers to buy the drinks or alcoholics, for every hour is happy houren if an alcoholic. this won't stop people who want to use the booze to use it and use it badly or become alcoholics. >> kimberly: how about the people looking for love out there and dates that go to happy hour. two for one cocktail, long island iced tea and pigs in the blanket up here? >> eric: the last i check, drinking was still legal in new york. pot is still illegal. though they look the other way. >> kimberly: bloomberg's office is saying it's not core, they are not asking for i. >> bob: bloomberg says he doesn't want it. i was forced, i mean forced to attend the white house correspondents dinner. miss perina stayed away. you thinked'd like it a room full of democrats. it was too much even for me. however, i did s

greg has been scanning the scene. and, later, guess what, baby, time for the questions on facebook, tonight i'm on the hot seat. ♪ got the revolution >> four of the five arrested for trying to blow up a cleveland bridge where part of the occupy movement, an f.b.i. informant got details after the meeting the main bomber at a rally. i am not here to say "i told you so," but i will tell you "i told you so, robert," i wonder why so many are wrong? and now, we saw brutal violence in seattle, riots and attacks on police and now this plot, and they sent white powder to new york buildings, how would you like to be the poor 99 percenter who opened that envelope and still doesn't know what he has been exposed to piled on to the other crimes and you still have defenders in the press. and in government. get this, last night, a department of homeland security staffer, tweeted "happy may day, solidarity." occupiers are busted for terrorism, and a hack responsible for preventing terror is egging the movement on. who can forget "the

greg?ing stupid like running withzy czars, fall -- running withsy czars, stab yourself in the eye, your mom says that will teach you. i'm tired of teachable moment. where the academics learn a lesson. stop it! don't ever use this phrase in public again. if you do, i'm going to punch you in the face. >> bob: very good. >> kimberly: violent. you want to punch everyone. he wants a guillotine. not nice. >> dana: this weekend i went to brooklyn flea market. give a shout out to entrepreneurs. i bought soap. this is record by monkey. he takes old vinyl records to make them into iphone covers. gnome enterprises, you bought a t-shirt. one for greg. the two mon stores fighting. >> greg: cool. >> dana: but then they had a t-shirt for me that was different. which is a sweet one. >> kimberly: i wanted that one, too. freddie those are bunny slippers. >> kimberly: that is a little low cut. >> dana: they work very hard. >> kimberly: that is a parent. someone missed the rules. supposed to bring someone for

and when greg does ...: let him have it. ♪ o lord ♪ lovin' me ♪ a long shot gamble dana: getting shameless. teachers and students should they talk to each other on facebook outside of authorized classroom and online classroom? new york city says "no more." no more public school teachers allowed to talk to students because there have been lots of problems. i think it is kind of creepy when teachers try to be cool with the students. >>greg: very creepy and there are webs, all schools have web sites where the teacher communicates with the kids about homework they do not need to be doing the facebook and sharing pictures. you are right. very creepy. dana: people say what if they need to ask privately. if i had a question about homework i never called my teach are i asked my mom and dad --. >>greg: you never had a single question. dana: i was bad in math. >>kimberly: as a prosecutor what happened today, and i want your take, there was a teacher in los angeles who was busted, 22, guy, allegedly having sex and oth

i ee ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >>> one more thing, greg. kick it off. >> greg: i am officially old.running for a seat on the l.a. county superior court. his name is joe escalonte. he is a conservative pro-life christian. but the basis for the vandals, one of the greatest pop bands ever. he is running for judge in los angeles. the election day is june 5. but he will be on "red eye" tonight so tune in and watch "red eye." quite a character. the poster is by shepard perry who did the infamous obama "hope" poster. >> dana: i'll do mine quickly. chris christie, governor of new jersey and corey booker of newark had, they have a great relationship. this is fun bipartisanship. watch the video. >> any problems you want me to handle? >> no i think we're all set here. >> thanks for coming. there is a two-alarm fire on state street. >> i got this. >> governor, stand back! >> i got this. booker. >> governor romney. >> yes, yes. that was me running in the fire. yes, you are very per situationsive. i'm not a number two guy. excuse me there. >> all right. i got this. >> dana: a little bit of fun ge

>> greg: anyway, hello, everyone. i'm your talking tad pole, greg gutfeld. joining me now she could charm a squirrel off nut truck. kimberly guilfoyle. more tails than tuxedo. bob beckel. pop flies to market, eric bolling. america's sprinkle doughnut. dana perino. 5:00 a.m. in new york city. 3:00 a.m. in bill hemmer's slave pit. this show is packed tighter than a pregnant pole vaulter. so let's do this, america. ♪ ♪ >> greg: all right. so we keep hearing about what is fair game when it comes to criticizing candidates. i never notice a trend. never mind then compromise. when media went after mormonism, conservatives respond with reverend right. never mind then. when they brought up something from romney's past 50 years ago, conservative just read obama's book out loud. never mind then. it's a pattern. the issue becomes off-limits if it bounces back on obama. trust me when private equity become's obama's problem, bain will disappear faster than dana in a strong wind. fair game is dictated by the media. think about what they deem off the table. take the support

the answer who is greg gutfeld? dolly parton wrote working these hours? >> what is 9 to 5. >> you got it again. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> dana: so about four weeks ago i got a chance to be on "jeopardy." i got to play for charity. you have to check your ego at the door. because you probably all know how it turned out. but i had a good time getting there. take a look. >> i'm dana perino in washington, d.c. to be on agenda power playersch everyone was so helpful to get me ready. take a look at my road to "jeopardy." ♪ ♪ >> all right, dana perino, i hear you are going to be on "jeopardy." as colleague, i want to make sure you are prepared an i want to help you warm up. this, president approval rating topped out at 90%. the highest in u.s. history. >> george w. bush. >> you have must answer in the form after question. >> is george w. bush? >> that is correct. let's go to liberals for 2,000. >> okay. >> who is a fellow co-host on the show "the five," the break-out cable hit. in the last year-and-a-half. >> who is the very loveable bob

we pour our guts out on television, on twitter -- >> bob: greg, greg, greg. >> greg: everybody lovesassic song. "somebody's watching me." >> bob: if i didn't have my stuff on here i wouldn't here. >> eric: i see no reason a local estate, local police force can't have a drone to keep the peace. >> bob: the intention of using the drone was for border patrol. not for inside. they use it at north dakota or south dakota. i suppose you could say it's not a bad thing. why do you want to trust anyone getting the information they'll continue to protect your privacy? >> eric: ient to think it's prprivacy issue. it's law enforcement. >> andrea: that is a fine line. i agree with you. i think fourth amendment is in place for a reason. to make sure we weren't being spied on there. isn't unreasonable surveillance. >> eric: search, not surveillance. >> andrea: there is a fine line. i to think drones are for war. the difference between the patriot act is designed to protect us from foreign threats. who is protecting us from the drones. >> eric: the problem with the patriot act, they got a domestic el

>>greg: it was actually dana.d i will answer your questions right now. running over there, now, see you tomorrow. >> romney accuses president obama of being a "divider," and another g.o.p. contract is subtracted in the field. this is "special report."

. >> kimberly: get to greg and then bob bats clean-up. >> greg: the real hero here is me. [ laughter ] i stayed away. it was tough. i feel bad for "the five" viewers waiting for us. i got to stay away. also, it's pakistan, not pakistan. >> sorry. >> greg: he said the summit was unprecedented which he says about everything he does. it's unprecedented. what is precedented? i'm not sure. when he said that thing about it's romney, if all you care about is making a profit, then that is not what this job is about. that's not what being president is about, making a profit. but it should be! because if you could make a profit you could afford the problems that could bankrupt our country. maybe you should think about trying to make a profit. >> kimberly: bob, what do you think? he seems to have hit all the points and he came out of this pretty clean. >> bob: let me try to take it away from the crass political side of this. interesting comments made about -- >> kimberly: jeez. [ laughter ] >> dana: i thought i was fairly even handed. >> bob: i was pointing to eric. [ laughter ] sorry. i was ta

greg has been scanning the scene. and, later, guess what, baby, time for the questions on facebook, tonight i'm on the hot seat. [ male announcer ] this is the at&t network... a living breathing intelligence bringing people together to bring new ideas to life. look. it's so simple. [ male announcer ] in here, the right minds from inside and outside the company come together to work on an idea. adding to it from the road, improving it in the cloud all in real time. good idea. ♪ it's the at&t network -- providing new ways to work together, so business works better. ♪ ♪ got the revolution >> four of the five arrested for trying to blow up a cleveland bridge where part of the occupy movement, an f.b.i. informant got details after the meeting the main bomber at a rally. i am not here to say "i told you so," but i will tell you "i told you so, robert," i wonder why so many are wrong? and now, we saw brutal violence in seattle, riots and attacks on police and now this plot, and they sent white powder to new york buildings, h

i was talking about eric and greg. i thought the unanimity in nato which is difficult to come together around appears as if they found common ground on a number of things. missile defense, a thorny issue, particularly with the, in terms of soviet union. seems to be resolved. there was an interesting thing that everybody seemed to go by, giving up the missile defense system. turning it over to nato. i found surprising. the 2014 date, going back and forth between 2013 and 2014, afghanistan, seems to have been settleded on 2014, which will not make my side of the aisle all that happen. i will say this. on the corey booker, it was bound to come up. i thought he handled that fine. remember that new jersey is owned and operated by the private equity >>> i don't think it matters much. >> eric: new jersey isn't owned and operated by private equity. private equity has $135 billion stake in the u.s.. new jersey comes in ten or 12th. there are states that are more affected by private equity. again, that is why this -- president o

greg's monologue is next. ♪ ♪ >> greg: welcome back.ublic health and education will outlaw school bake sales. homemade treats to raise cash for kids. where does l it go after the football game snacks? spending on education is tripled in the last few decades and test scores worsened. students are sleeping with students and students are dropping in out huge numbers and you want to been a a cupcake. good luck getting kids to buy squash to pay for football pads. this is just another attack on the capitalism. a young girl can learn more from selling doughnuts than from a class on gender studie studies. the kids need lessons in winning, not whining. they should have chips in the bags, not on their shoulders. but now even the white house chef wants to control our lives. yes, sam cass says fat folks are a national security issue. thinks their butts are bigger target for north korean missile. get back in the kitchen. your brain is half-baked. when did chefs get so self-important? the difference between chefs and cook is arugula. thanks to obaman

. ♪ ♪ >> greg: all right.we keep hearing about what is fair game when it comes to criticizing candidates. i never notice a trend. never mind then compromise. when media went after mormonism, conservatives respond with reverend right. never mind then. when they brought up something from romney's past 50 years ago, conservative just read obama's book out loud. never mind then. it's a pattern. the issue becomes off-limits if it bounces back on obama. trust me when private equity become's obama's problem, bain will disappear faster than dana in a strong wind. fair game is dictated by the media. think about what they deem off the table. take the support for ows or how he snubs congress mooning mg about the lack of cooperation. so that's the biggest ruse of all. compromise. you will hear that word a lot from those disguiseed as centrist. but it's like an armed thug who says i'm glad you see it my way as he takes your wallet. bob? >> bob: yes. >> greg: you work in politics, or so you have told us. i have no proof of

>> greg: some believe that.rst nightmare is somebody translates a lawsuit to vanish. then you have a hispanic -- translate it to spanish so you have hispanic backlash. >> dana: i understand the bain attack because that's what president obama is pushing and romney running house record as job cerebateor. i see where they get some attention. in many ways, don't you think it's backfired on president obama? >> eric: bain stuff? >> dana: yes. >> eric: we talk about release the rabbit. the white house releases a rabbit and the media seizes on it because they want to distract from the economy. >> greg: but whenever anybody releases a rabbit you get on your hands and knees to eat it. disgusting. >> dana: it's good. rare rabbit. get it? >> bob: he has been on the defense of romney. when did it come back? >> eric: obama one of the 35 national cochairs is a private equity guy. the guy, jonathan levine at bain capital. >> andrea: he has taken bain money a won't give it back. >> bob: it was not the catholic church that sued.

>> greg: carrots.c'mon wealth of massachusetts. bob is waving at the producer. >> bob: nobody pays attention. trying to get their attention. i can't get anybody to talk to meful >> greg: while i'm trying to do my monologue he is going like that. is that a coincidence? we all ignored him. >> bob: wanted a cupcake. it was a smart funny thing to do. nobody up there answered me. >> andrea: we don't have more in the green room. >> eric: anyway, we can't have the girl scouts selling cookies or bake sales in massachusetts. >> greg: still angry. >> dana: maryland, too. happening in maryland as well. >> bob: listen, they have i happen to be a pro-cupcake lobbyist, the fact is a lot of sports teams in rural communities depend on this stuff to pay for their sports equipment. the idea you'll been a this stuff, been a something serious like heroin. >> dana: they will just buy the processed food version rather than a healthy homemade point. >> andrea: liberals think sugar is heroin. >> bob: it's not. >> greg: this i

i'd like to know. >> greg: bill, this is greg. nice to hear from you. >> gutfeld. did you get that job? >> greg: i have pictures of beckel and bolling in a hot tub. is this basically obama's essential problem he is terrible at choosing friends? if you look at his history, bill ayers or reverend wright or occupy wall street there is a singular thread running through all of these, which is individuals with distaste for western values. that's why he always as problem stepping away from it. it comes from the background in academia, don't you think? >> i don't think the president -- i don't know him that well but i have stud dided him for three -- studied him for three years. i don't think he cares about any of the people, ayers or wright. he is a politician. politicians tell people what they want to hear. he gets himself in trouble when he makes the statements about dubious organizations who then go out and embarrass him. instead of meeting the channel saying you know what? in the beginning i was sympathetic to them but now they are over the line and no longer think th

i have no idea -- >> greg: tell us what you think it is. >> greg: i don't know.s goes to show you they are constantly planning. these i goes are so patient, they will spend ten years on a pair overjumped wear, on explosive underwear if they could. >> dana: i thought al-qaeda was decimateed? but here they are. it's complacency. not saying anyone in the current administration is complacent, but complacency is our worst enemy. c.i.a. should be applauded for this. we need to do reverse psychological operation. we need a video that goes viral. fake upgraded underwear bomb gone wrong, where your you know what gets blown off and there is no virgins at the end of this. all over the world and if people were watching this, there wouldn't be any more -- >> eric: there are versions. >> dana: right. collaborate on this video. >> kimberly: i like it. >> bob: i think this is a good progress. it is decimating. it is in the sense become smaller. you know, the interesting thing about this. this trial, the prosecutor stood up and said, one of the big issues is defense wants to brin