steve: it didn't rain as hard as it is now. hawk: he hooked that one to falu, and that is out number one. steve: bullpen up and going for the royals. it is gregg holland . they have some very good arms in their pen, even losing the closer soria. nothing wrong will the arms out there. the results at times have been spotty. hawk: curveball how to a.j. a.j. walked on four pitches back in the second. then he struck out on a bad pitch, a high fastball, back in the fourth. outfield straight up for him and spread out. he reaches out and hooks that one. so, two down. a reminder sox fans. join us on saturday may 26 as your sox take on the indians. the first 20,000 fans will receive a robin ventura bobblehead presented by helpses max. the first 20,000 fans will serve a robin ventura bobblehead presented by pepsi max. steve: to put this outing in perspective for hochevar he had six preseason starts with a total of 28 innings. so that is less than five innings per start he has aed. he is absolutely dominating here with two out in the botto

noticed in a noisy world." >> steve: what? "fifty shades" again! it's a trilogy. >> steve: knock this thing off number one. >> jimmy: yeah. thursday, 3:00 p.m. -- >> steve: that wasn't in humor, was it? >> jimmy: we won't top those dudes, right? >> steve: that wasn't in humor, was it? >> jimmy: that was humor, yeah. people think that's funny. [ laughter ] no, that's -- "fifty shades of grayskull," the he-man erotic novel. >> steve: yeah, the he-man thing with orko. >> jimmy: he-man and orko. >> steve: orko means it's spicy. >> jimmy: orko and he-man go at it. [ light laughter ] hey, you guys, look. so, here's the deal. check this out. we'll do this -- i mean, kids -- kids can't read "fifty shades of grey." >> steve: no, i wouldn't want a child reading that book. >> jimmy: no. you can't buy that mommy porn book for grads and dads. >> steve: yeah, no. for moms and smoms, sure. >> jimmy: you think your dad's gonna sit there and reading about gross stuff? people putting their things in other people's things? [ laughter ] >> steve:

[ laughter and applause ] >> steve: right? >> jimmy: he does. >> steve: right?ro, now that he's pulled out, he can thrust himself into the private sector. >> steve: oh, wait for it. [ laughter ] [ drumroll ] >> jimmy: con, when bill clinton did this, it meant something completely different. [ laughter ] ♪ we're playing together. >> steve: yeah, exactly. i know spring is coming. does that make spring any worse? exactly. >> jimmy: no, you have to get excited about it. yeah, yeah, yeah. >> steve: thrust. private. >> jimmy: pro, he outlasted rick perry, rick santorum, and michele bachmann. con, mostly because he avoided doing this. yeah, don't do that. don't do that. [ laughter ] just don't do it. don't eat a corn dog. >> steve: hey, i'm going to eat a -- you know what? i'm going to eat in the privacy of my house. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. don't do it out in -- >> steve: not in public or at a state fair. >> jimmy: it's not a good campaign strategy. >> steve: hey, can you take a picture of me shoving this in my mouth? [ laughter ] yeah, this thing. no, it's a corn dog

. >> steve: he's a cool guy.isin, california raisin. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, ikea on the weekends, or as i like to call you, the husband and wife fighting store. [ laughter ] honey, i don't care if you get the floogin' or the gloogin', i don't care. well then get two blurrs, i don't give a damn. thank you, people who make a wish by throwing coins into the fountain. i hope your wish was for the malls janitor to have plenty of beer money. [ laughter ] i think i might go for an import tonight. >> steve: hold on man, i'm going to go by an orange julius at the food court and spike it with some vodka. >> jimmy: wait, i'm sorry man, i over heard you. i was over here by the fountain. you going to orange julius? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: you want to spike it with some "v"? >> steve: yep. some big "v." can i get you one? >> jimmy: i'd love to get one. can you stop by aunt annie pretzels and get one of them pretzels? >> steve: yeah, you know what i can do? >> jimmy: what's up? >> steve: i can get a syringe, some jellied vodk

♪ [ laughter ] >> steve: oh, no.isible partner. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's the altitude up there. i don't know what's going on. ♪ [ laughter ] that's a little powerful. >> steve: yeah. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, the kentucky derby, for making horse racing fans look like extras from "the hunger games." [ laughter ] ♪ thank you, people who greet you by saying, "hey, buddy," for really meaning, "hey, guy, whose name i don't remember." [ laughter ] "it actually is buddy." ♪ [ light laughter ] thank you, the lifetime network, for adopting the new slogan, "your life, your time" instead of, "you're crying, you're eating a carton of ice cream, you're alone in front of the tv." [ laughter and applause ] i like the other one better. >> steve: the other one's too long. yeah. >> jimmy: a little long, yeah. but i like it. [ applause ] [ sobs ] [ light laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, the coach leather store. you've done such a good job creating leather bags and wallets that you've now created an actual woman. [ laughter and applaus

okay. >> jimmy: all right, steve. ready? [ cheers ] >> steve: okay. >> jimmy: all right.hoa! wow! [ cheers ] the whole word. second syllable. hitler. heil. german. nazi. nazi. [ cheers and applause ] nazi. first syllable. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i can't even look at him. i can't even look at him. >> steve: storm trooper! show stopper! yes! [ buzzer ] [ sad tuba ] oh! [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] oh. [ cheers ] >> steve: i thought you were going to have sex mrs. potato head. >> jimmy: all right, all right. all right, higgins, let's do a showdown. buddy, me and you. all right. we're going to do the same -- [ laughter ] i can't say it. we're going to do the same clue at the same time and have you guys guess. which ever one of you guesses -- [ laughter ] >> steve: i got to stop. >> jimmy: i know! stop doing that. stop doing that. okay, good. all right, higgins, here we go. you pick a number, buddy. >> steve: i'm going to say five. >> eight! [ shouts ] >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: okay. >> steve: okay. >> jimmy: all right. [ cheers ] >> come on. >> jimmy: okay, re

with. >> steve: yeah, fun.] see, it's just a way to just end it right there. [ applause ] you know it's over when you get that e-card. >> steve: yeah, when you get that e-card. >> jimmy: let's go to the next one here. oh, it's a heart-shaped rope. it says, "you finally tied the knot." it's always nice news. inside it says, "happy vasectomy." >> steve: oh! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i didn't know you could send cards for those. >> steve: i didn't know they had them, but i'm glad they do. >> jimmy: i got a bleep-blerp and download it on the zon. look at this next one here. another mother's day card. that definitely looks like a wrapped iron. it says, "don't worry, we didn't get you new iron for mother's day." here's the inside. "we just wrapped up the old one that was in the laundry room." [ laughter ] no real need to send that card really. >> steve: why send that card? >> jimmy: yeah, i don't know. let's check out the next one. oh, it looks like a bereavement card. there we go. it says, "sorry for your loss." inside

surround sound. >> steve: right.e: accu track. >> jimmy: he's got accu track forecast. and he's on his -- rug. and he's got his electronic fireplace in the background. >> steve: and he turned it on with one hand. >> jimmy: he clicked it on with his remote. tv starts playing. ♪ no, fred, fred, no. [ laughter ] tv starts playing. pants get blown off. [ laughter ] that's what happens. poor guy. >> steve: that's 'cause he's listening to the album. he's listening to that album. >> jimmy: it is so good. i told, everybody, paul mccartney is on the darn thing. [ cheers and applause ] it's all remixed and re-mastered for the audio. you can preordered right now on itunes or at blowyourpantsoff.com. [ cheers and applause ] that's not a joke. like you haven't been on that website. [ applause ] you guys, tonight we have some of my favorite people. he is just the best. he's a manly man. this dude walks in the room and dudes just start weeping. [ laughter ] he's got a big new jesse stone movie on. do you like jesse stone? you guys

totally blew off. >> steve: yeah.says june 12th. that's what it says. >> jimmy: what is it? >> steve: june 12th. >> jimmy: june 12th is what it says. you're looking at the day. all right. watch it. [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] i don't know if this is my butt or a stunt butt. there's rumors going around. it's like the mona lisa of album covers. >> steve: yeah. you don't know. >> jimmy: but if you buy this, you don't get the sticker. >> steve: ooh. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: super moon. super moon, june 12th. >> steve: super moon. like a full moon? >> jimmy: yeah. yeah. june 12th. anyways, it comes out june 12th. "blow your pants off," everybody. there it is. there it is. [ cheers and applause ] we have a big show tonight. the great martha stewart is in the house! [ cheers and applause ] i love martha stewart. beautiful, talented. he's on, like, eight nights a week here at nbc. host of "last call with carson daly" as well as "the voice." my man, carson daly joins us tonight! [ cheers and applause ] finally, he's here.

>> steve: all right!iy," academy award winning actor and musician -- >> something like that. >> steve: appearedy garcia. now this looks fantastic. >> thank you. we're very proud of the film. >> brian: and you're playing a guy that is searching for religion or is fighting to get it out? >> in a nutshell, the mexican government under the presidency of cayenne, curtailed religious freedom in the 1920s and there was a rebellion, civil war, it's a true story. that's been sort of taboo for many years. you ask a lot of the mexican americans or mexicans about the war, they go, we don't know too much about it. it's been kind of like, let's not talk about this. a lot of people died. >> brian: 90,000 died in three years. >> yeah, a lot of people. brutally, hanging from telegraph poles. >> gretchen: the role you play is the person who wants to keep religion out? >> no, no. i play an ex general that fought against zapata in the revolution he was known to be not really a man of faith, sort of atheist and he gets recrui

even 100. >> steve: yeah.ican kids are lagging behind other nations in the sport of soccer. on the bright side, american kids are undefeated in the sport of see-saw. [ ding ] [ laughter ] [ applause ] ♪ ryan seacrest will be covering the london olympics this summer for nbc. on the bright side, if you want it skip to the highlights, just look in his hair. >> steve: oh. [ ding ] [ applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: there are growing concerns about the level of privacy on facebook. on the bright side, there's a way to post all of your information online without anyone ever seeing it. join myspace. [ ding ] [ laughter ] ♪ you found a pubic hair on the toilet seat in your bathroom. on the bright side, you now remember how to write a cursive "z." [ ding ] [ laughter ] there you have it guys. that was "on the bright side." stick around. we'll be right back with "dance your hat and gloves off." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] applebee's new sizzling entrees aren't just a "show." [ sizzling ] there's a reason that sou

steve? >> steve: thank you very much, brian. let's talk healthcare.. turns out companies say it would be cheap tore drop employee -- cheaper to drop employees from their provided health care coverage and pay the fines rather than cover them under the new plan. what does that mean for you ask us? dr. mark siegle from our medical are a team examine author of "the inner pulse joins us live. good morning to you. >> how are you? >> steve: good. all of these numbers are disturbing. right now it costs i think the average employer $5,200 to provide insurance for an employee. next year it's going to go up to 6500. and here is the thing, if you're in business, why should i pay 6500 under obamacare if i could just pay that $2,000 fine instead? >> first of all, the reason it's going up to 6500 is because we're getting less co-pays and less deductibles under the new law. so in other words, it's going to cost insurers more to provide the same service. so they raise premiums. there is nothing in the law that says they can't raise premiums. then if you're a big compa

>> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: that's right. guy is suing bmw after his erection lasted 20 months, which means it took a 19-month erection for the guy to go, "okay, now this is getting ridiculous. [ laughter ] honey?" the good news about this guy. he found a lawyer that'll work pro-boner. [ laughter ] so that's good. that's the good news. [ applause ] finally, there's a new dating site aimed at matching up women who like to travel with men willing to pay for their trips. [ laughter ] it's part of a new dating trend called prostitution. [ laughter ] we have a great show tonight, you guys. give it up for the roots, right there! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ it's getting heavy heavy on me it's getting heavy heavy on me ♪ ♪ can you help me? it's getting heavy on me yeah ♪ ♪ it's getting heavy heavy on me it's getting heavy heavy on me ♪ ♪ can you help me? it's getting heavy on me yeah ♪ [ vocalizing ] >> jimmy: hey, that is maroon 5. keyboardist pj morton, sitting in with the roots. [ cheers and applause ] his ep "following my first min

steve: right.it the zon. >> jimmy: the zon. so you've got to go to the zon. and if you preorder it -- no one is calling it the zon. [ laughter ] >> steve: pro-order it. pro-order it. >> jimmy: no one says pro-order either. you're changing words. preorder it on amazon. you might get one of these special edition copies that plays the theme song, right there you guys. we have a great show tonight. she's a giant movie star and one of the coolest. we love it when she comes to visit. cameron diaz is here tonight! [ cheers and applause ] >> whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo! >> jimmy: olympic superstar michael phelps will be stopping by! [ cheers and applause ] and music from of monsters and men, tonight! [ cheers and applause ] it's going to be rocking. rocking show tonight. hey, guys, it's time to take a look at the stories making headlines today and weigh the good with the bad. it's time for "pros and cons." here we go! ♪ pros and cons and pros and cons and pros ♪ >> jimmy: tonight, we'll be taking a look a

now it's steve's turn.> steve: how was that ice bath? >> brian: refreshing. how is that? >> steve: or the electricity? and down goes frazier ♪ wer surge, let it blow your mind. [ male announcer ] for fruits, veggies and natural green tea energy... new v8 v-fusion plus energy. could've had a v8. (female announcer) most life insurance companies look at you and just see a policy. at aviva, we do things differently. we're bringing humanity back to life insurance. that's why only aviva rewards you with savings for getting a check-up. it's our wellness for life program, with online access to mayo clinic. see the difference at avivausa.com. kiss those lines goodbye! discover juvÉderm® xc, the smooth gel filler your doctors uses to instantly smooth out those parentheses lines around your nose and mouth for up to a year! temporary side effects include redness, pain, firmness, swelling, bumps or risk of infection. lose those lines! the way you look with juvÉderm® xc, might just change the way you look at everything.

>> steve: very nice, guys. ♪ [ applause ] >> steve: very nice.e younger doocy? >> steve: today is his day off. he's at home. thank you. and there we have brian and gretchen with a look at the headlines. >> brian: because of the court order, we can not be seen with john tesh. >> gretchen: until later. >> brian: so until we can find that, let's talk news. warren buffet blasting the president's prized buffet rule which bears his name. president obama named his tax hike proposal after mr. buffet, a multi billionaire who supports tax increases on america's top earners. but buffet admitted on the "fox business" network it's not really going to fix the economy, not by a long shot. >> the economy, what we're going to ask for shared sacrifice of people that we ought to go after them doesn't solve the revenue problem. but i think that people want to think there is at least that much fairness. >> brian: i don't know what that means. echoing the president's push for fairness. >> gretchen: some catholics are outraged at georgetown university now because it's

steve, finish up the show. >> steve: buy his new book.eat the way we brought them together? >> brian: who is buying lunch? me or you? >> it's on fox. >> steve: weekless jobless numbers are due. what are they and what too known to you? eric bolling. what makes you angrier, the tsa wasting money on scanners not being used or buying them knowing they would never work in the first place? eric bolling will weigh in on that. and there they go. they're going golfing. what would you do, drink the beer with a ball in it or dump it out? you're about to find out what each of us would do and what he did. now we know. right back [ male announcer ] capri sun has 25% less sugar than leading regar juice drinks. because less sugar is a better way to fly. ♪ just not literally. capri sun. respect what's in the pouch. >> steve: fox business alert. the labor department just releasing brand-new weekly jobless numbers. 367,000 first-time unemployment claims were filed last week. that's up from 365 the week before. economists were expecting in that range, about

but times conversations with great minds i'm joined by steve call steve is president of the new american foundation new america foundation and a staff writer for the new york mick new yorker magazine previously he spent twenty years of foreign correspondent and senior editor at the washington post and was that paper's managing editor from one thousand nine hundred to two thousand and four two thousand and five steve received a pulitzer prize for his book ghost wars which was also awarded the council on foreign relations are at the ross award and the overseas press club award steve is the author of seven books in total including the critically acclaimed bestseller. empire exxon mobil and american powers he joins me now from new york city steve welcome. back for having me thanks for joining us tonight i'm curious before we get to the exxon mobile the topic of your your most recent book. tell us about the new america foundation and how you became the president of it what you're all about there. not the think tank it's been around for about ten or fifteen years about sixty percent of the fun

>> steve: never.ugh joplin, missouri. it shows what a twister did inside the emergency waiting room at st. john's mercy hospital. the tornado sweeping up everything in its way. a new facility is currently being built in joplin. meanwhile, one year later, let's take a look. it's dry in joplin, missouri and much of the central plains states. a little rain in the northern plains. a little rain in the central atlantic region. a little rain in portions of new england and a little rain in south florida. otherwise it is predominantly dry across much of the land. current readings as you ahead out on this wednesday in may, 73 right now in dallas. about the same for san antonio. mid 70s along the gulf coast. warmer down south in portions of florida. today's daytime highs, almost 100 in west texas. mid- to upper 80s in the mid atlantic. 70s in portions of new england and 90s across much of florida. in colorado today, 75. >> brian: why would you bring that up? >> because that's the stay where apparently some acti

this week we got the best of steve fertig.g.((22:27:16 steve: here's what we've got (laughs))) (laaghs)))coming up... having fun with steve's forecast.... plus emily gets down wiih onionhead... and i get down with line dancing. dancing. you're watching fox 45 good day ((break 3)) meteerologist emily gracey and i are movinn to our own beat this week. suggestion....and that means my forecast gets interrrpted. interrupted.all that and more &pfrom the week that had us goi. going...say what?! what?! on thompson tape: onion head:(( say what?!))--1st one &psaawhatt/22((22:25:02 meg: is what we've been waitiig is for.))saywhat5/22((22:26:23 steve adjusting))saywhat5/22 ((22:22628 meg: ready? stevv: i'm ready. :31)) saywhatlinedance((22:22:28 who doesn't like a good dance?)) saywhat5/24((22:22:28 emiiy: onionhead is teaching me how to dance apparently not doing ((22:23:51 1, 2, 3, 4))inedance- do doo do do :34)):32 emily: saywhaalinedance((22:23:44 "2,3, 4"))saywhat5/24 ((22:22:42 (onionhead dancing)))saywhatlinedance ((22:24:25 everyb

thank you. >> steve: three!rruled, jimmy. >> jimmy: thanks so much. that was three. very, very good there. contestant number three, you are up. we've replaced the broken pinatas for you. this is it. this is what it all comes down to. [ light laughter ] all the work, all the training. it's your time. ♪ >> i'm ready. >> jimmy: this is your moment. this has been your destiny -- [ laughter ] -- ever since you were a little baby. [ laughter ] you're the baby. [ laughter ] but thank you for playing. i'm sorry about that. [ applause ] put on your blindfold, and let's start the fiesta ring, please. 20 seconds on the clock. ready, set, kick! ♪ ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: all right. very good. hey -- [ cheers and applause ] come on over, buddy. that was very impressive. very, very impressive there. very, very good. let's look at what you did in slow motion real quick. this is pretty impressive there. ♪ right there, that was -- nothing came out, but you took care of it right there. yeah, yeah, yeah. hit him twice. and then you got him a

good morning to you, governor. >> good morning, steve. >> steve: everybody this morning is talking abouthalpern where you said if elected president, by the end of your first term, you would get unemployment down to 6%. people all across the country are saying 6%? that sounds pretty good. so they want to know how. how are you going to do that? >> well, there are a number of things. you start off by saying, let's stop something that's hurting small business from creating jobs and that's obamacare. get rid of it. number two, have an energy strategy that takes advantage of our natural gas and oil and coal, as well as our renewables. those low cost energy fuels will ultimately mean jobs come back here, even manufacturing jobs that left here. and finally, get a handle on the deficit so that people understand if they invest in america, their dollars will be worth something in the future. those are three big ideas that we have to move on right away if we want to get this economy going again. >> gretchen: so yesterday president obama equated you with president george w. bush and said basically wh