every one applying to elite schools is snorting aderol. if you want to be something you have to step it up. i suggest a cocktail of-- ecstasy and 50 ccs of adrenaline and a cardiac kansas city needle like uma thurman in "pulp fiction". that is what getting into standford feels like. now folks, let me put this in another way. this is your brain. this is your brain on drugs. (laughter) any questions? okay, quiz time. a train leaves chicago going 120 miles per hour. you're running next to it without breaking a sweat. what are you on and why aren't you sharing it with your friends? well, that's it for eyes on edukashon. remember, kids, keep hitting those books and if that doesn't destroy them, try a wood chipper. we'll be right back. >> stephen: hey, welcome back, everybody. my guest is an a clipped sports reporter who has written 18 books. he had to fine something to keep him awake during baseball games. please welcome frank deford. thank you so much for stopping in, have a seat. sir, first of all, i have to compliment you on being a dapper g