but jimmy fallon -- emmy nominee jimmy fallon's up next. jimmy! tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you! thank you very much. i feel the love. great new york city crowd. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. thank you for being here. [ cheers ] going to be a great show. a lot of fun, thank you, welcome, welcome. hey listen to this, you guys. i read that president obama's old apartment here in new york city is on the market again. yeah. today it was shown to someone who may be looking for a new home, president obama. [ laughter and applause ] here's some campaign news, the country's largest tea party group is planning a cross country bus tour to help elect mitt romney. romney was like, "wow, that's great. what is a bus?" [ laughter ] "sounds amazing." [ cheers and applause ] i just saw that facebook founder mark zuckerberg is

but jimmy fallon's happening right now. jimmy!e: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, what's going on guys? welcome! wow. summer crowd. summer crowd in new york city, baby. right there! people having fun. thank you for coming tonight. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." here's some campaign news, you guys. mitt romney's nonstop secret service protection is apparently bothering the people who live near his beach house. romney had a lot of questions about the complaint, such as, "which beach house? [ laughter ] that one? they are always complaining, that one." i just saw that president obama is spending $12 million on a one-minute commercial hitting mitt romney's business record. though obama's made some bad business moves too, like spendi

>> jimmy: thank you, dad. [ laughter ] >> oh. >> jimmy: all right. >> move closer. >> jimmy: all right new york crowd, man, i'm used to it. >> jimmy: all right. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] that felt like this is made out of clay or something. charlie, are you getting nervous my man? >> oh, very. >> jimmy: whoo! [ laughter ] here we go. four shots. [ laughter ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] i can't believe i'm hitting this many baseballs. five? >> five. they gave you contact on the first one. >> jimmy: all right, here we go. ♪ [ audience ohs ] [ talking over each other ] >> can you run in those shoes? >> jimmy: you don't square up when you bunt, do you? i was the king of bunts. >> no, that was the old days. you step on the plate. >> jimmy: oh, nice. it's last one. all right. good. five's not bad. i'll take that. >> all right. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> well done. >> jimmy: charlie, i'm going to lift this up so you can get down. charlie, do you want this helmet? >> no, i'm okay. >> jimmy: you don't need it. yeah, yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] he doesn't need a helmet. >> can i see one? >> jimmy:

"jimmy fallon" happening right now! jimmy!in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] thank you very much. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. it's going to be a big show tonight. very, very excited. a lot of fun people. >> i love you, jimmy! >> jimmy: i love you, too. some election news. some election news here, you guys. president obama's campaign has just released a new ad that actually features beyonce. [ cheers ] which explains why his approval rating just went up 80% among all the single ladies. [ laughter ] speaking of the president, a new poll found that 64% of florida voters think the country is on the wrong track under obama. while the rest of florida's voters still think teddy roosevelt is president, which is very -- very interesting. [ laughter ]

jimmy, nice job!in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >>> jimmy: hey! how are you guys doing? thank you. i feel the love. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. hey, here's some -- here's some election news. election news. yeah, i read that one of the presidential debates, this fall, will have a town hall format where citizens will ask the candidates questions. the most common question, are you the only two choices? [ laughter ] that's right. at the second presidential debate, citizens will get to ask questions. or as ron paul put it, all right i finally get to talk in a debate. this is fantastic! [ light laughter ] some more political news. new jersey governor chris christie said he will think about running for president in 2016

>> jimmy: too much.> took it too far. >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: this is a true story, you guys. this is bad, actually. it makes me laugh. a woman in canada was applying for a job, but instead of e-mailing her resume, she accidentally e-mailed a picture of nicholas cage. [ laughter ] this is what she e-mailed. yeah, that's his picture. [ laughter ] fortunately, she realized her mistake and attached her actual resume. look at this. there you go. [ laughter ] that's real. that's the one. that will get you the job. this is crazy -- an ohio man in his 70s is making news for riding the same roller coaster 7,000 times. which means he either loves that roller coaster, or he has been dead for the last three years. [ laughter ] you want to go again? all right, man. this guy loves this. let's go one more time. check this out -- a chef from mcdonalds just revealed the recipe to the big mac secret sauce. [ audience oohs ] even more surprising, he also revealed the mcrib's secret meat. [ laughter ] give me that jok

you. >> no funny stuff. >> steve: jimmy, we're going to start with jimmy. >> jimmy: okay. >> steve:an't look at your crotch, can i? >> jimmy: no, no. [ laughter ] >> why should this day be different than any other. >> jimmy: all right, right now. here we go. ready? >> you got him. >> teeny. >> small? >> teeny. [ laughter ] >> um -- >> tiny. >> jimmy: um -- anthony's -- >> weiner. >> steve: form? >> no. [ buzzer ] >> jimmy: nope. no. >> teeny. >> weeny. >> yeah! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. very nice. very nice. very good. >> jimmy: audrey goes first? audrey, you're going to go first. >> pink. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: singer? >> steve: ooh, no. >> bird. [ laughter ] >> uh, vagina? [ laughter ] >> almost. >> jimmy: wait, judges? judges, can we accept that? [ buzzer ] >> steve: no. >> jimmy: we can not accept vagina. >> i don't know. >> steve: that's what he said. >> jimmy: yep. >> tall. >> jimmy: flamingo. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: okay. it's tied up. it's a barn burner. >> jimmy: here we go. this is it. >> steve: it is a barn burner. roseanne we're g

>> jimmy: i know.alled with the snowboarding. >> jimmy: you did several. >> i'm the extreme sports girl. >> jimmy: i'm the lazy dude. i want to sit and drink a beer and watch something. >> i actually have to work. >> jimmy: you have to work and i don't, yeah. i mean, you saw what i did tonight. who are you going for? i know america, but who are you going for -- >> well, i'm going for usa, of course. >> jimmy: no, of course, yes. no, who? >> i mean, i like the track and field. and then i'm also -- i mean, michael phelps. >> jimmy: michael phelps. we love that guy, yeah. >> i'm a michael phelps generation girl, you know. >> jimmy: yeah, that's our dude. >> i'm a little old for him, but, i mean, we're not going out on a date or anything. >> jimmy: no, you don't have to date the winners, no. but i like you when i see you in the interviews 'cause you're human and you're funny, and you get it. and you're very good. but you know who i love? is grandma. >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: your grandma, barbara bush -- >> s

jimmy.jimmy: may i just ask what is going on? i'm sorry. >> i don't want to talk about it. seriously, i feel like a tool. >> jimmy: what -- you have a tattoo on your face. what happened? >> so, i'm on the phone with one of your producers today. we're talking about the segment. and i'm on my car phone. i have a bad connection. at the end of the segment he says, "oh, by the way --" i guess what he said was, "mike tyson's on tonight." i thought he said "it's mike tyson night tonight." [ laughter ] so i went right downtown -- >> jimmy: you immediately went downtown? >> went downtown and got this. [ laughter ] i got here and it's not mike tyson night. >> jimmy: no, but he's on the show. but it's not mike tyson night. >> this will wear off in six weeks. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: matt, you have to do the olympics. you have to do the olympics next week. >> they've got make up. it's all right. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. well, i got to say, it is fitting. >> thank you. thank you very much. meanwhile, i wante

>> jimmy: what's that? >> steve: how hot was it? >> jimmy: i don't know.the pros and cons of summer heat waves, here we go. pro, it's sweaty, sticky, and nearly 100. con, so is larry king in a steam room. [ as larry king ] "can you pass me a towel." pro, everyone wants to see you put on a bathing suit. con, you're at a nude beach. oh, that's not good. that's not good. >> steve: cover it up. >> jimmy: pro, lounging by the pool and reading "fifty shades of grey." con, lounging by the kid pool and seeing 50 shades of yellow. [ laughter ] stay out of that pool. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: that's crazy stuff going down there. >> steve: a lot of chlorine. >> jimmy: pro, going to the jersey shore and bringing a powerful spf. con, leaving with a powerful std. it's the jersey shore. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: things have changed. >> steve: that's different. it's very -- >> jimmy: clean up the act. >> steve: std filled. >> jimmy: yeah. pro, your kids had a big summer pool party so you hired a magician to entertain them. con, his name was magic mike. [ laughter and appl

jimmy fallon's happening right now. jimmy!and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, wow. thank you very much, everybody. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." thank you for being here, everybody. welcome. thank you for watching. big show tonight. fun. hey, did you guys see this? during last night's usa-brazil basketball game, president obama gave michelle a kiss when they were shown on the kiss cam. [ audience aws ] that's cute. it explains why everyone was, like, "quick, put him on the fix the economy cam!" [ laughter ] "let's see what happens." [ laughter ] speaking of the president, yesterday in cincinnati, jerry springer announced that he is endorsing obama. [ cheers ] don't get too excited. obama still has to

[laughs]. >> jimmy: it could be any second. [laughs]. >> jimmy: okay. guess it didn't work. [ applause ]. >> jimmy: i guess we'll have to borrow more money from china. it was some good exercise. all you care about is money, canadians. speaking of canadians, guillermo, you came up with some -- you're canadian, right? wait a minute. put down the gun, please. it's alarming me. the joke was ten minutes ago. >> guillermo: okay. >> jimmy: guillermo came up with some interesting tweets last night. he has two kinds of tweets. one -- some of them are about food and the others are things like this last night 11:11 p.m., guillermo tweeted, don't trust every smile you meet. okay, friends? so give me an example of a smile you met that you can't trust. what happened? >> guillermo: don't trust me when i smile. >> jimmy: was there someone specific that you were thinking of? >> guillermo: yeah. >> jimmy: who was it? >> guillermo: my mother-in-law. >> jimmy: really? i'm surprised she even smiled, to be honest with you. five minutes later guillermo tweeted, not everybody

>> i mean, i do. >> jimmy: oh, you do? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you can. well, he should. [ laughter ] get into it. you got to try something new is what i'm saying. is he fun, is he intimidating? >> well, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, he's a tough dude. >> the first few times i met him, i couldn't even really look him in the eye i was so intimidated. but, you spend some time on the set and you learn to read how the days go. he's not very demonstrative person, so if you get a hug it's like amazing. and if he's being quiet, you know it's probably not a great day. if he making jokes, you're like, "oh my god, this day is so good." and, if he starts quoting macgruber -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he's seen macgruber? >> -- this film will win an oscar. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: really, he loves macgruber? >> one day, he just started talking about macgruber. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you got to tell forte, that's awesome. >> he's probably going to hate that i mentioned it. >> jimmy: christopher nolan is a good man. i love it. he likes macgruber. [ cheers and applause ] >> and he's

>> jimmy: thank you. i put nothing on them. >> you followed my lead, which i always appreciate. you didn't try to force your issues on to me. >> jimmy: i felt like kigsz you i got to makeout with a billion women all at once. [laughs]. >> jimmy: what's going on in your life? take me today, what did you do today from the time you woke up? >> i flew home from austin, texas. i shot -- i played the president in a film. >> jimmy: you played the president? >> yeah. i guess my dad wasn't available. >> jimmy: you're not black, how can you play the president? it doesn't make sense [laughs]. >> jimmy: that's pretty good, you and your dad. >> i was there for one day. i drank, i swore. i smoked. i put a hit on a guy. i pulled a gun on a bad guy and had sex with four women first day in the office. you guys have to see this movie. >> jimmy: i'm glad you're dialing in. i thought you said you did it for real, not the movie. >> the film is really good. >> jimmy: that's a good movie to be in for sure. >> thank you. >> jimmy

>> jimmy: i need a doctor. >> jimmy, are you alive? >> jimmy: i'm exhausted. >> are you with me?e. >> steve: tie game. >> jimmy: let's go, buddy. >> steve: two ball action, go! [ whistle blows ] [ cheers and applause ] [ buzzer ] >> jimmy: that's it? is that good? [ cheers and applause ] oh, my god. we won! we won! >> steve: blue balls, take the field! >> jimmy: you guys, edward norton, paul hamm, and chris mullin. give it up. olivia munn joins us when we get back. stick around! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ people keep asking me if that lady in the viva commercial is really my mother. they keep asking me if the dirty guy is really my son. huh -- what do you tell 'um? holy smokes, these viva towels really are tough, even when wet! [ mike ] for the record, that's my real father, cleaning up a real mess on a real grill. see? very impressive! you're a natural. oh that's much better... dad's got his tough mess, i've got mine. [ female announcer ] grab a roll and try it on your toughest mess. i think you got it. [ male announcer ] you could instantly win select favorites under 400 calorie

and now, stay with me, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. i'm jimmy, the host of the show.hank you for watching. thank you for coming to my humble home. >> want to wish each of your families happy flag day. it's the day on which we honor the sim billion of our nation and the 8-year-old chinese kids who make them for a nickel a piece. >> b.s. become so commercialized. i prefer to celebrate a different graetd holiday today. that holiday is donald trump's birthday. that's right. 66 years ago today donald trump was born in a small hospital in kenya or maybe i'm getting my stories confused. [laughs]. >> jimmy: for a guy whose head looks like it came from the woolly mammoth exhibit, he's doing all right for himself. it's hard to find a gift for donald trump on his birthday. this year i found a good thing. i gave him an inside voice, the one thing he doesn't have. [laughs]. >> jimmy: father's day is on sunday. as i like to call it, act like you're excited when your kids give you a picture of their hand print's day. i think it's unfair that dad's get lumped in with grads. how would

but "jimmy fallon" happening right now. jimmy, take it!eve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh man! that's what i'm talking about. how are you guys feeling tonight? you feeling good? [ cheers and applause ] welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. it's going to be a fun night tonight. wow. what a big show we have! but, first, let's get to some jokes here. [ laughter ] in some political news, there's talks that this october, president obama will announce his support for legalizing marijuana. [ cheers and applause ] which explains why he's moving his family out of the white house and into a white castle. [ laughter ] that's right. obama might support legalized marijuana to boost his chances of winning the election in november. or as stoners p

jimmy? >> jimmy: thank you, higgins.ghter ] we're going to give you 15 seconds and you have to try to shake all those balls off. you cannot use your hands. only hip thrusts and body gyrations. you think you can do this? >> i got this. >> jimmy: all right, very good. 15 seconds on the clock. audience, cheer him on. ready, set, shake your balls off. [ cheers ] ♪ shake your balls off shake shake your balls off shake shake your balls off shake shake your balls off ♪ ♪ shake shake shake shake shake shake shake shake your balls off shake shake your balls off ♪ [ buzzer ] [ laughter ] >> damn. [ laughter ] damn it. >> jimmy: yeah, you did not shake all of your balls off. it was a good effort. head over there. let's go see our last contestant. [ applause ] what's up, my man? how you doing my friend, all good? >> i'm good, thanks. >> jimmy: all right. thank you for -- you ready to do this? >> let's do it. >> jimmy: well good luck my friend. all right. initiate the board of insanity. all right. here's your gun. fire when ready. tr

but jimmy fallon's happening right now. jimmy!rom studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, how you doing, everybody? thank you very much! welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. welcome. it's going to be a big show tonight. oh, my god. it's gonna be fun. [ cheers ] good tv. speaking of tv, did you guys see this last night? "american idol" was won by 21-year-old philip phillips. [ cheers and applause ] when asked if he was excited, he was like, "definitely, definitely." [ laughter ] philip phillips. some celebrity news. britney spears is planning to launch a new fragrance called fantasy twist. >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: fantasy twist? doesn't sound like a fragrance. that sounds like something john travolta gets at the end of a massage. [ laugh

"jimmy fallon" up next! jimmy!io 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >>> jimmy: thank you very much. i feel the love. great new york city crowd. thank you, guys. welcome. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." [ cheers and applause ] i love you guys. thank you very much. hey, you guys the olympics are just four days away. and get this mitt romney will travel to london where he will attend the olympics' opening ceremony. it is going to be weird when they're announcing all the countries. and he's like got a bank account there. got one there. [ laughter ] two bank accounts there. what's that a country? yeah. i got one there too. speaking of romney, i read that his campaign has raised $10 million in california over the last two days. yep. $1 million was

kimmel. >> jimmy: come in. i heard you didn't win the hippest high school hipster scholarship. >> no. i'm so mad. >> jimmy: i don't blame you. you have the ironic mustache and everything. well, maybe you'll have better luck with the laundry-doer scholarship. >> the what? >> jimmy: target's giving away scholarships for all kinds of students. click here, answer some questions into the webcam and if you win, you'll get shout color catcher sheets, 4 laundry baskets and $500 in quarters. >> guillermo: that is very hip. >> jimmy: here we go... >> i see you've applied for a laundry doer scholarship. let's begin. what's better -- clean clothes or dirty clothes? >> guillermo: clean clothes because dirty clothes are too dirty. [laughs] >> jimmy: that was a very good answer. i hope you win. >> guillermo: thanks, bro. i hope i win too. you're the best bro ever, bro. >> jimmy: you too. >> you wanna go grab some brewskis and a slice of za, bro? >> jimmy: no thanks. >> are you asking me if i want to go grab some brew skis and

>> jimmy: yeah.t with the mutton chops which is very interesting. at this point now he's had the same mustache, like guillermo. >> jimmy: he's got a guillermo mustache? >> for 20-plus years. so if he shaved it, i don't know what he would look like. >> jimmy: do you make fun of him for these pictures? >> always. >> jimmy: you have to. now your uncle, did you ever think about music or singing? >> no, i don't think you'd ever have me on the show again. >> jimmy: is that right? no musical talent? >> no. no musical talent. i have a funny story. i was 6 or 7 camping. up in the seattle area. i got on stage. they were singing surfer girl. my uncle is the lead singer. he brought the cousins and my brother. my sister wasn't born at the time, but we were up there, he put the mike in front of everybody. we were all singing. he got to me and i had such bad stage fright that nothing came out. i turned around, ran off the stage and started crying. >> jimmy: oh, really? wow. >> i guess the only way to get rid of tha

jimmy kimmel is next. see you tomorrow night. >> dicky: up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live," >> emily maynard and her new fiance, jef. they are here. >> dicky: ben stiller. >> if you want to take the pun out of ping-pong, do a 12-hour to inform you that fox's funny the watch opens in theaters friday, july 27th. it stars ben stiller, vince vaughn, jonah hill, richard ayoade, and our very own guillermo. guillermo, tell us a little about the movie. >> guillermo: it's about a watch. jimmy: okay, great. let's take a look at the clip. >> my name is bob w a "b." and i am really into what you are doing here, once a week, away from the wife and kids. telling dirty joke, having beers if we're good. >> yeah, beers, that sounds good. >> i'm franklin. >> welcome. >> i wanted to be a member of the glen view police department. guess they didn't see the magic that was me, whatever that means. >> thank you, franklin. >> i heard someone say something about beer, mr. ben stiller. >> what are you about? >> i'm about to

live concer >> jimmy: the jimmy kimmel live concert series, sponsored by bud light. >> jimmy: this ises greed misery," linkin park. ♪ i'ma be that nail in your coffin sayin' that i soften i was duckin' down ♪ to reload so you can save your petty explanations i don't have the patience ♪ ♪ before you even say it i know you let your pride and your ego talk ♪ ♪ slick to me no that is not the way i get down and look at how you lose ♪ your composure now let me show ya exactly how the breaking point sound ♪ ♪ i wanna see you choke on your lies swallow up your pride suffer all alone ♪ in your misery choke on your lies swallow up your pride suffer all alone ♪ ♪ in your misery what is it you want me to tell ya i am not the failure i would rather ♪ live and let be but you can't make the right kinda threat to push me to let you ♪ ♪ no you can't intimidate me disrespect me so clearly now you better hear me that is not ♪ the way it goes down you did it to yourself and it's over now let me show ya ♪ exactly how the breaking point sound i wanna see you choke on your lies ♪ ♪ swallow up your pride suf

but jimmy fallon is happening right now. jimmy, take it!rom studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. i feel the love. thank you so much. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon" everybody. thank you for watching. thank you for being here. hey. [ cheers ] thank you, guys. it is going to be a fun show tonight. here's some political news. last week house speaker john boehner said that americans won't fall in love with mitt romney before the election. [ light laughter ] yeah. which explains romney's new campaign slogan, mitt romney, will you accept this rose? [ laughter ] that's right. boehner said voters won't fall in love with mitt romney. then it got weirder when boehner was like, "at least not like i have." [ laughter ] here's news on t

please welcome, freida pinto. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: freida. >> hello, jimmy. >> jimmy:it a common name in india? >> well, i guess freida is not a very common name. >> jimmy: it isn't? >> yeah, i kind of like that it's a bit exclusive. but pinto is, actually -- [ light laughter ] but pinto is kind of -- it's actually a portuguese name, and it has a very sweet meaning. it actually means little chick, but it also means penis. [ laughter ] ♪ so freida little chicken. >> jimmy: that's much better. yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. that's much better, yeah. little chicken is -- we'll stick with that definition, yeah. yeah, you don't want to be called anything else. >> no, i don't. >> jimmy: no. also, it could be bean. >> it could be bean. it could be car. >> jimmy: it could be a cool car. cool, little car, yeah. >> it could be quite a few things. >> jimmy: or a little penis. yeah, that's good to know. you've been in the states for awhile. did you celebrate the fourth of july? did you do anything fun? >> i did. i did. but in the most non-american way, unfortunately. >> jimmy: why?