so i asked phyllis golanis of thetime of of "the new york times" how we can all avoid being bad houseguests. >> my dad used to say the way to be the best house guest is to stay home. but i actually think he was taking it a little too far. i think if you, as you say, if you jump into the family, or the household as much as you can and really show that you're an enthusiastic participant of what is going on i think you can make yourself pretty, pretty much a valuable asset. if people are cooking, chop an onion. if they are going out to grocery shop offer to kick in some money. >> really be a participant. not just say is there anything i can do, do it, right? if you're the host you say no, don't worry about it. if they just jump in there and start doing the dishes you're secretly grateful. >> not even secretly. that's a good one. >> obviously it's a good idea to pitch in and help out your host. phillip also said a handwritten note or something that can be shared like wine or fruit is the perfect way to say thank you at the end of isolated shower stay. before i overstay my welcome i'll say