ha ha ha-ha. ha ha. ghter ] i've also been working on some "that's what she said" zingers. [ light laughter ] for instance, when obama is talking during the debate, i'll just interrupt him and say, "that's what she said?" [ laughter ] ha ha ha. gets 'em every time. ha ha. [ laughter ] now, last week, my campaign leaked a memo telling everyone to lower their expectations for my performance in these debates because, as we all know, barack obama is an extremely gifted speaker. you might even say he's a "master debater." that's what she said? [ laughter ] ha ha ha! zing! you got zinged. you got zinged. anyway, forget lowering your expectations for my performance. here's a better idea. don't watch the debates at all. just watch something else instead. i mean, come on. there's, like, a million other shows on during the debates. i know because i happened to pick up this "television guidebook" just moments ago. let's see here. 9:00 p.m. on wednesday -- debates, debates, debates, debates. [ light laughter ] there'

ha ha ha ha ha! whoo! whoo! whoo! whoo! whoo! all right! were you just hooch? i was--yeah. ne hates you guys. oh, hooch. hooch is crazy! j.d.: as much as hooch loved us, it was even better to see turk happy. see, he and carla had recently started couples therapy and i'm not sure he was enjoying it. carla says you cry after you orgasm. would you like to talk about that? no, not really. j.d.: i decided to help their marriage by moving out, partly because carla and i had accidentally kissed and messed things up, but mostly because it was time. still, finding an apartment has not been easy. i'm so sorry about your father. i'm sure he lived a wonderful life at 14 maple drive, apartment 4b. was he lucky enough to enjoy a washer and dryer in his unit while he was alive? ever mention any hot neighbors? what are you doing in the on-call room? [crying] nothing. i gotta go. ok. j.d.: thankfully, turk had gotten over the whole kissing incident. still, there's a weird new thing he does whenever he says good-bye. ok, i'll see you around. aah! peace, homey. uh, do you guys think that clari

ha-ha-ha! mitt, i have to say, that idea is simply nutrageous. >> ha-ha-ha. >> oh. ng to be weird never seeing you again. >> yeah. i know. i gotta say, this campaign has been rough. and i can't believe that in two weeks, it'll all be over. >> you mean your presidency? [ light laughter ] i zinged ya. >> you zinged me. >> i zinged ya. >> you zinged me. >> i zinged you. >> i got zung. i tell you what, you know, mitt, it's been real, it's been fun. but it has not been real fun. >> ha-ha-ha. i guess this is good-bye? >> yep. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i'm just gonna go. [ cheers and applause ] [ "we are never ever getting back together" plays ] ♪ [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. that's what i'm talking about. that's the

ha, ha. wait, wait, who am i? who am i? "you're going to like the way you look." [ light laughter ] >> ha ha ha. ouse. do it again. do it again. give me a little bit. do a little bit more to the -- >> all right, all right. hold on. hold on. >> come on, do it. >> all right, here it goes. let me get into character. "you're going to like the way you look. i guarantee it." [ light laughter ] >> ha, ha, ha. classic. [ laughter ] what's that guy's deal anyway? >> yeah, i know, right? he's like -- he's all like, "i have a beard, and i want you to wear a suit." >> he's like the dos equis guy except for suits. [ laughter ] >> that's so messed up. [ laughter ] >> well, looks like the debate just ended. so, i guess i'll see you on tuesday at our debate? >> well, you know, actually, i think i might skip that one. [ light laughter ] >> again? ha ha ha. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> all right, all right. you got me. hey, what do you say we flip over to the jimmy fallon show? i notice they never invited your ass over to there. [ light laughter ] >> i've been invited. i just don't want to go. [ laughter ] let's w

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. ♪ ha-ha-ha-ha-ha >>> some say president obama's performance in wednesday night's debates were no laughingr, but there are some men who would disagree with that. >> they are esteemed pundits of political humor, icons of late night laughter and a lack now at what they had to say. >> he just told the moderator who works at pbs, i'm going to throw your ass out on the street, old man! you -- not only you, but all of those free loloading muppets. that takes not just one ball, but two, two enormous balls. ha-ha-ha! >> mitt romney won the debate last night, which means president obama lost two fights on his anniversary last night. the president seemed a little bit out of it last night. he had all the enthusiasm of a husband talking to his wife's friends at a dinner party. he kept looking down and frowning. it was like he was trying to find something on apple maps. the only thing that could have salvaged obama's performance is if the body of bin laden could have fell from the ceiling onto the stage. >> obama could have waterboarded alladin, put down blue, deported dora the explorer and won walking

ha ha, ha, ha, yeah, really funny. really appreciate it. who are the people who are putting any of this into doubt in the first place? of course, the republicans. listen to this crap that they pedal out of "daily basis"." >> how do you explain the heat? summer. we have hot weather, get over it. >> that global warming thing is really kicking into high gear, isn't it. >> the issue of global warming has been fortified through substantial number of scientist who is have manipulated data. >> the last year has established as a whole premise of man-made global warming is a hoax. >> the science is bad. >> unproven science. >> that has yet to be proven and i highly doubt it's going to happen any time soon. >> still a scientific theory that has not been proven. >> cenk: that's the media. that's the republicans. when you turn to the democrats i wish i had good news for you. but president obama hasn't been that much better in his results. now he was recently on mtv kind of like candy crowly, he views it as a niche-type-of-topic. >> obama: we're not movi

ha, ha ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. >> stephanie: get over it. well not the gay math that nate silver does. contrary to -- >> republican fantasy math. >> stephanie: nate silver said that romney's momentum seems to have stopped. take wednesday's national tracking polls. lots of numbers. actual numbers. romney -- >> we were joking about the fact that someone on the right did say nate silver seems gay. his numbers must be wrong. okay. nate silver, a not gay. i don't really know. does it matter? >> it doesn't matter. no. >> stephanie: yeah. >> the other g -- >> stephanie: he's a geek. mr. romney gained ground in one of the polls. online poll conducted for reuters. lost ground in five others. romney with president obama improving his standing. mr. obama gained one point. closest we've come in a week or so to one candidate having won the day in tracking polls. that was mr. obama. >> he's not. >> stephanie: obama still has a 73.1% of winning re-election. he's at 294 electoral to romney's 243. >> fact checkers say -- >> stephanie: nate silver is a fact c

. ♪ ha-ha-ha-ha-ha >> some say president obama's performance in wednesday night's debats was no laughingmor, icons of late night laughter and a lack now at what they had to say. >> he just told the moderator -- who works at pbs, i am going to throw your -- out on the street, old man! you -- not only you -- but all of those freeloading muppets. that takes not just one ball, but two. two enormous balls. ha-ha-ha! >> mitt romney won the debate last night which means president obama lost two fights on his anniversary last night. the president seemed a little bit out of it last night. he had all the enthusiasm of a husband talking to his wife's friend at a dinner party. he kept looking down and frowning, like he was trying to find something on apple maps. only thing that could salvage his performance if the body of bin laden fell on stage. >> could have water boarded aladd aladdin, put down blue, and deported dora the explorer and won walking away. romney won with the sound up. >> you're entitled to your own plane and house but not your own facts. >> dude, he is yelling at you. look up! look

ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! so, with obama in trouble, they reedit to give obama more credit. coincidence? know he is running against obama but the hollywood arm of his own publicity machine. that is as clear as the nighties in kimberly's closet. it raises questions why can you politicize bin laden and not benghazi? obama takes credit for one and avoids responsibility for the other. what happens if this films triggers mob violence? will weinstein be arrested? he has been silent on the subject of free expression. the anti-muslim filmmaker sweats in jail. perhaps harvey could keep him company. heck, they could watch the movie together. kimberly? >> kimberly: ah-ha. >> greg: dana, you still get zero credit for killing bin laden or anything else for that matter. >> dana: i killed a bug once and a frog. never underestimate the obama team and their surrogates in hollywood. their tendency toover do it -- to overdo it. america is like we get it, we know that you killed bin laden. we have seen it 100 times. if you can imagine that president obama would invite the cast and the crew to white house th

ha, ha, ha. ha, ha, ha, ha. i've also been working on some that's what she said zingers. e, i'll just interrupt him and say, that's what she said? ha, ha, ha. gets them every time. ha, ha. now, last week my campaign leaked a memo telling everyone to lower their expectations for my performance in these debates because as we all know, barack obama is an extremely gifted speaker. he might even say he's a master debater. that's what she said? ha, ha, ha. zing. you got zing. you got zing. >> that's what she said? oh, my god, i love him. all right. here with us now from -- >> that's what she said. >> here with us now from denver, we're going to go over the polls now. nbc news chief white house correspondent and political director and host of "the daily rundown." let's start with the battleground poll released this morning, and it shows where the race stands in three key states. we'll start with ohio, virginia and then florida. in ohio, the president has opened up an eight-point lead among likely voters. however, in virginia, the president's lead has shrunk to just two points wit

- ha, ha, ha, ha, ah, ha, ha. terrific! hey, i'm hungry. let's go eat some batteries-- i mean, human food. - hey, uh, batteries-- i mean, human food sounds good to me. wonderful. - let's go. - [laughs] they're sometimes called study drugs. they're prescription medicines >> kate snow's intimate portrait of one ivy league student shows how destructive study drugs can be. >> in about five seconds' time, you've gone from straight "a" student to handcuffs. >>> also, saving the orangutan. their habitat is being destroyed for a common household product. the all-out effort to save a great species. >> we got it. we got it. >> why did you feel you needed to get him out of there? >> these things will be gone in 12 months. >> he wouldn't have survived in there? >> no, no. this is the last resort. >>> and the world of tory burch. her huge success, her sure sense of style. her fabulous life in new york. >> obviously i love color. >> and what she admits to harry smith is the question she was dreading about the feud with her ex-husband who helped get her st

has got the age factor. look, is he very young-looking. is he very young, in fact. so, he has to act a little bit more reserve. he has to stay within himself or he would come across very poorly. i think joe did what the democratic party needed him to do. there haseen a lot of hand ringing among the party. whoa is me since the last performance. joe biden come out there and took it to the republicans last night the way republicans wanted it so see. >> laura: i'm trying to watch as it someone who is not a conservative commentator and trying to put myself in the position of those families out there that are struggling and i bet a lot of them watch some of the debate but maybe tuned it out after a while. because i think they see a washington that is more focused on getting incumbents reelected than it is of solving the real problems in this country. biden might have scored a point here or there ryan might have held his own. in the end, what do the american people really learn in this debate about how a 16 trillion-dollar debt. 4 trillion which mounted under this presidency. how did they find that this was going to be in any way diminished in the next four years let's say under a barack obama. >> listen, i have a slightly different take. i got pretty

has helped to celebrate our births, has helped to mourn our deaths, has helped our community through our triumphs and our challenge and our obstacles. our community, i want to thank all of you for coming together. it takes a village to rebuild a hospital. and it hasbeen an honor, i know for my colleague supervisor marr and i to be chinese supervisors working with our first chinese mayor. working with our chinese hospital of board of trustees, with the chinese chamber, with our chinese family associations, with our chinese non-profit sector and our friends from throughout the world to rebuild this hospital. and then healthcare. i want to mention for a second, that i come from a family of healthcare folks. my grandfather sold chinese herbs my brother is a physician, my brother is an actupuncturist. my mother says that becoming a politician i was a failure because i was supposed to be a doctor. you who are caring for the sick, you are doing the lord's work, for some, you are doing budah's work. i want to thank you for all that all of you have done to take care of the community well-being, of our healthcare and insuring not that we are rebuilding the hospital over 100 years, but we are building a hospital that is hopefully going to last another 100 y

ha ha ha! now you're mine! come join my harem. >> stephen: no, no! you've got to fight ottoman delicacy with an anti-ottoman delicacy. a croissant. yes, the croissant, created in 1683 to celebrate the victory over the ottomans at the battle of vienna. its crescent shape marks the moon upon your plant. >> no, not the light and flaky pastry of my people's darkest hour! >> stephen: b gone, turk! >> no! (cheers and applause) >> stephen: oh-- thank you. thank you, congressman louie gohmert for warning us against the ottoman menace. but remember, sir, you're from texas. obama's probably also reviving the empire of montezuma and his as tech warriors on quetzalcoatl's back! we'll be right back! (cheers and applause) ó÷ow?[?zg (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody, thanks so much. now, before the break i told you how louie gohmert had revealed barack obama's secret plan to resurrect the ottoman empire by denying us bacon. (laughter) yet another reason we must elect mitt romney. now, unfortunately, the latest quinnipiac/"new york times"/cbs/t.c.b.y. poll hasbama up by ten points in ohio, nine points in florida and 12 points in pennsylvania. (cheers and applause) i don't get it. i don't get it, folks. how can romney be behind? he's so popular that his fans are releasing bootlegs of his speeches! (laughter) folks, don't believe the critics who say this campaign doesn't have a prayer. he's going to have plenty of prayers-- thank thanks to a new web site called 40daystosaveamerica.com. >> all around us we see a nation falling around us into attacks on religious liberty. we're asking pastors and congregations all over america to commit to 40 days of prayer, fasting, and action. prayer plus fasting plus action equals change. >> stephen: that's amazing. because usually prayer plus fasting plus action equals passing out. (laughter) now, the hero-- (applause) the hero behind this project is texas pastor rick scarborough who last august helped launch rick perry's presidential campaign with the stadium prayer rally and god responded with a polite "n

ha, ha, ha. >> reports say in were no injuries in this situation. [ gunfire ] >>> this bridge in texas on the hardin-jasper county lines has been the place where people have been dumping their dogs. >> what? >> in this area, people have been complaining to county officials in both counties that people are dumping their dogs off this bridge off of highway 96. and one man saw somebody throw a black bag over the bridge, and inside, this is what he found. >> this is one of the dogs they throwed over the bridge. >> that dog -- >> i opened up the bag and i don't know, if could have been a baby. >> saying it perfectly how people should really feel about their dogs. >> the dog is supposed to be like your best friend, companion. i mean, they show you love. they're like human, too. >> but it's the cutest dog ever, too. i can't imagine what's going through someone's mind that they would do this to a helpless little adorable puppy. >> what about the surveillance camera there? >> i want to save the dogs and the cats, though. this is the most heartbreaking thing -- it's awful. >> put them in a shelter where maybe somebody will adopt the

has been all over the news. one thing i've noticed about the president is that he has a very expressive face. you know, he has thousands of different facial expressions. one for every occasion. now, you all know the classics, like this one. [ light laughter ] the determined yet hopeful. but there are tons more that you just don't see as often. you can almost tell what he's thinking just by looking at his face. so i thought tonight we'd take a look at his lesser known facial expressions in a segment we called "obama expressions." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: here's the first obama expression. this is the, "i don't want to go to school!" [ laughter ] [ applause ] hey, biden, what's up? next, check out this next expression. this is from last month's democratic national convention. look at clinton there. this is the, "bill, i know what second base means." okay? [ laughter ] you don't have to tell me everything. [ applause ] >> steve: no, you got to understand. >> jimmy: this next one is great. you might remember this photo from when obama was on the campaign trail. this is the, "hat's your cell phone, please." [ laughter ] [ applause ] this next expression is one of my favorites. it looks like obama is delivering a stack of pizzas. this is the, "this might be my job in two weeks." there we go. [ audience ohs ] [ applause ] >> steve: what are you going to do? >> jimmy: hey, what are you going to do? >> steve: it's america. >> jimmy: this next expression is great. this is obama and romney from one of their recent debates. this is the, "macarena time, y'all." [ laughter ] everyone did that. >> steve: everyone did that. yeah, come on. ♪ hey macarena [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: check out this next lesser known expression. this is a great one. this is the, "get that weak shiz out of my house!" [ laughter ] this next expression is one of my favorites. take a look at this one. this is the, "check out my cosby expression." [ as bill cosby ] "theo, where did you put my jello pudding pop?" [ laughter ] [ applause ] here's one from a joint news conference with canadian pri

. >> steve: ha-ha. ha-hang. [ laughter ] love that dude, john rich, man. today is friday, and that's usually when i catch up with some personal stuff. i check my inbox, return some e-mails and, of course, send out "thank you notes." i have to do that. [ cheers and applause ] it's just the polite thing you do. i started since i was a young boy. now, as a man, i still do it. well, i'm running a bit behind. so i thought, if you guys wouldn't mind, because the hurricane's coming, i just want to get it all out. >> steve: get it all out now. >> jimmy: franken-storm is going -- stick myself in my apartment and just not leave and just live off spaghetti os for a week. >> steve: exactly. you have -- 30 cases of spaghetti os. >> jimmy: i got 30 cases of spaghetti os. yeah, 'cause i don't even have any water or nothing no can opener either. just slam it like -- with a rock. and, so anyways, i'd like to just do them -- i'd like to send out my weekly thank you notes right now. if i write them out, do you mind? can i do th

ha, ha, ha. >> all you need to do, have a healthier lifestyle, stop all the partying, all the drinking. >> let's ebe honest, that's the fun. >>> and gathering in china not to see somebody famous, but somebody infamous. police arrest add suspect. a man they believe killed a woman in broad daylight before stabbing another woman. the suspect was being transferred to a different province and being brought to the police station here. >> oh. >> police cars pull up. they can't even get to the police station. they pull the suspect out of the back of the car and the mob goes crazy. the police have got him bent over an arm bar. rush them through the crowd. the other blue shirts try to hold the crowd back. they were this upset about this murder. >> i'm surprised they were able to get him away from the crowd that quickly. >> bounce over to south africa. an interesting type of theft. a strange one. man pulls into a parking lot with a red ferrari, but keep your eye on the black mini to the right. gets out pup clearly see him do the old -- chirp, chirp. you know. pushing the button. makes sure his car's locked, but his car isn't locked. reports claim that the man in the black mini was able to jam the signal from the locking fob. gets out of his mini, over to the fat rathererrari, gets what. the laptop. >> terrifying. makes you really rethink your entire experience when you park your car. you can't put anything in your car. >> makes me want to hand lock all the doors and check the doors at least ten times before i walk away. >> get out, push the button and -- >> yeah. >> check. >>> you would think during the riveting athletic competitions of the lawn jelingerie league, l the eyes of the men would be on the field for obvious reasons. >> that really exists? a lingerie football league? >> i knew this. how did you not know? >> a lingerie football league in the united states, in canada. >> i'm disappointed in myself right now. >> i'm shocked. >> this particular game between the sirens and the rage -- got ugly. >> ugly in the stands. these two cities hate each other and it carried over into the crowd right now. >> a huge fight broke out in the stands. >> are you serious? >> now, local reports say they're not exactly sure how this thing started, but you see men in this thing, women in this thing, people's shirts are getting ripped off. >> the poor old lady security guard. i feel bad for her. i have a feeling she's going to get clocked. >> local authorities say this was one of two big brawls that happened during this game. 11 spectators ejected and 2 of which were streakers. there was a lot going on at this game, and all you ragina rage fans were revoicjoice. they ended up winning. and where's the football jl i was expected hot chicks playing football and i see fighting. i'm -- ishgts, . >>> body painting up a bunch of models. >> are they completely naked? >> not a stip tch of clothing i his entire ad campaign. >> see how all this make as motorcycle next. >>> she just went out to feed the chickens a little breakfast. >> uh-oh. >> got a couple unexpected visitors. >> see what happens when someone let's the dogs -- in, on "right thi oÑ ♪ [ female announcer ] at yoplait, we want you to feel even better about your favorite flavors. so when you call, tweet, and post, we listen. that's why yoplait light and yoplait original are now made with no high fructose corn syrup. and why we use only natural colors and natural flavors in yoplait original. so, anything else we can do for you, let us know. but you'll keep it to yogurt, right? 'cause we shouldn't really help with your love life. yoplait. it is so good! >>> it's time for searching the globe for curious animals. we start with these. they look like they should be able to talk. >> well, this is what it would say. hey, what's that? hey, i think i see something here. oh. it's a camera. >> i like how he snuck up on it, too. took a couple steps. waited. a couple more steps. waited. ♪ >> that's a serious beak and he plans on using it, too. >> yeah. he adjusted the camera. make sure that the camera angle was just a little better. that's curious animal number one. curious animal number two, a lion cub. you've got three here. one of them sucking on a bottle. you're not going to distract him, but the other one, he sees a calf and gets very fascinated. so the curious cub is like, i got to go see what that was. waddles on over there. >> i call that a saunter. >> the cat turns around, and watch what happens. >> oh. the cub wanted a little kiss. the cow's bigger and -- >> this lion was sniffing, smelling it's beef. you know, i don't like veal. i'm going to wait. >> could use some salt, some ach a-1. >>> every parent out there is about to fall in love with a new device, developed by georgia tech and emory university, it's called the remote-a-scope. check it out. a device that you hook to your iphone and then you download and app. you know how every child ever gets those ear infections, so insanely painful. you've got to rush your child to the emergency room or to the doctors for a prescription to help get the ear infection under control? this device, you can just -- attach it to your iphone. put it in your child's ear, and it gets a clear picture of what's going on inside your child's ear. you send that video to your doctor. they can make a diagnosis, and write a prescription. then you can just go pick it up. your child is taken care of so much sooner. >> you don't even have to go to the doctor -- at all. >> at all. >> can i do this for everything? can i then go -- ah, and my throat's sore or check sinus, all that stuff? >> i think absolutely. i want one to send to my gynecologists. to not have the to go to my gynecologist. >> you went there. >> i did go there. >> amazing if that were possible. people could diagnose you remotely. >> i fee like th with a good cock-a-doodle-doo. >> perfect. if that's not perfect, put a sound effect in. >> this lady comes up to her poultry run here in her stunning pink robe. and it looks like she's about to feed the chickens that are there. right? oh, i forgot to feed but -- uh-oh. >> she's got a couple unexpected visitors. not one, not two -- three dogs bust into this poultry run. >> it's the bumpous dogs. >> exactly, like from "a christmas story." >> turkey! >> all hell breaks loose. the chickens are going crazy, the dogs are going after the chickens. she's going after them. she hasod sense of humor, though, because she uploaded this individual grow a very appropriate song "who let the dogs out." ♪ who let the dogs ow who, who, who, who ♪ >> looks like she regained order. one dog, okay. i've got enough here. one goes. other one goes. he's like, well, you actually, that was kind of fun. i think i'll go back. eventually, gets the dogs out of there, closes the gate. i think she'll remember the feed next time. i like to think, too, you know how long those dogs have been waiting to get in there? they watched her open that gate every day and feed those chickens. one day she's going to leave that door open. i just know it! >>> the i don't speak that language video prank. >> he's speaking russian to all of these people who do not -- >> speak russian. [ speaking in foreign language ]. >> see how he gets beaten at his own prank next "right this minute." >>> and still to come -- this little boy hangs with mom all day. and dad, well -- >> super-duper frayed she's going to te

and then all of you, you think that you are here, ha, ha, ha.but you will all be working to close the gap. so lanar is here, you know, i need more than $25,000 from you cofy, i need $25 million from you. so when you borrow the money from the chinese government, when they buy, you know, invest in your program, you can tact along a few more million for us. but anyway that is the whole trick. thank you very much. i won't take your time. [ applause ] >> and now signing of the legislation, mayor? >> are we ready? >> yes, we are ready. ♪ [ applause ] ♪ ♪ . >> okay. mr. mayor good morning everyone. i am mr. alva residence and the director of the housing authority and today mayor lee will be announcing one of the most extraordinary funding announcements in the history of my 26 years in this business to ever occur. today we're going to get twins. we're going to get -- the mayor is going to talk about two choice initiative planning grants, this i believe culminates the mayor's leadership, cements the idea for hope sf and restores hope to hope sf and we ha

ha-ha-ha! [laughter] craig: that was a little freaky actually when the skull went on fire and laughed like that. what's a come and a go. read just a little bit more to me in arnold schwarzenegger's voice. geoff: all right. chapter two. arrrrgh -- maria! [laughter] that's end. craig: good night, everybody. good night. [ male announcer ] citibank's app for ipad makes it easy for anne to manage her finances when she's on the go. even when she's not going anywhere. citibank for ipad. easier banking. helps him deposit his checks. jay also like it when mother nature helps him wash his car. mother nature's cool like that. mobile check deposit. easier banking. standard at citibank. moun giants fans >>> the bay area ablaze in orange and black again, from knob hill to san bruno mountain to restaurant menus. giants fan cross add fever as game one of the world series is 18 hours away. >> the giants frenzy in moment. we begin with a story new at 11:00. christine ayers shows us a video of a man being arrested to day. take a look, what do you think of it? >> it was a lot of yelling, a lot of commotion. >> one video of a violent arrest, two different stories. >> made a good judgment call. >> went over there and started beating him up. >> this man who calls himself ron didn't want to show his face. he shot a video of the arrest in east oakland. authorities say a pregnant woman got into an altercation with a staff member. >> her boyfriend stepped in to defend her. as he talks to deputies, watch what happens. another deputy runs the video. appears to hold the baton against the man's neck. >> and as the man goes down, deputies appear to knee him repeatedly. >> kept hitting him and hitting him. he got put in handcuffs. he works the handcuffs on the floor. it's a lot of witnesses who hasdcuffs. he began punching him in his head. >> a snapshot of the whole thing. >> alameda sheriff spokes person, the mans was resisting arrest, even threatening deputies at one point. all deputies could do is respond with forks. >> oakland seems to have a policy, where they will swing first, speak later. >> in oakland, christine ayers, cbs 5. >> and alameda sheriff office tells christine, they will investigate only if someone files a complaint. >>> few months ago, we saw a candidate talked about legitimate rape. today, another candidate is talking about rape and god's intention. >> the candidate is richard murdock. he's running for u.s. senate. one that republicans are counting on to help him take control of the senate. here's what he said in the final minutes when he was asked about the opposition to abortion. >> i know there's some that will disagree. i believe life dpins at conception. the only exception to have an abortion is in the case in the life of a mother. i struggle for a long

has been probably the biggest whopper that has been told during the course of this campaign. >> on arabic tv you said america had been dismiss i have and dericesive. you said america has dictated other nations. mr. president we have not dictated to other nations we have freed other nations from dictators. > >> who was more pug gnashes, romney or obama? >> i don't know but i thought romney won that little exchange. he came across a lot better than the president did. >> i beg to differ. this business of the apology tour is a big lie that romney has been promoting. he titled his book to that. every fact checker that looks, i know you laugh at the fact checkers. if they say it enough time everybody who is going to vote for romney is going to believe the president apologized. they have been pushing this narrative ever since he made a speech in cairo, that is in and of itself is somehow condescending to the rest of the world. >> he never actually said i'm sorry for what we did. maybe groveling tour is a better word. in france he said americans have not recognize this had magnificent union and we have been arrogant. he also made comments along the lines of this iraq, basically attacking the iraq war on foreign soil. he goes out and he says we have not been and we have dictated to other countries. >> oh yes and romney's direct approach with the allies was so much wrong. >> another flare up. >> our navy is smaller now than anytime since 1917. the navy said they needed 313 ships to carry out their mission. we are now down to 285 headed

somebody develops cancer surgery doesn't help because if you try to cut down the cancer you cut out ha ha ha of the organism i mean i mean there was no it's so so so so. it's treatment it's long very long and painful treatment the important for that is a true yes sure first you have to change your mindset and what i said i offered several cues but the first set of rules is a very good thing that you serve. because when the when the when the customs tariff is so why then it's easier to bribe a person or one won't be he may be too weak to refuse them because well into millions and millions ok listen what are the other bringing issues i'm not sure corruption is the only issue that you're fighting what's the other burning issues for for the customs organization. well another burning issue is burning issues of course great can't have it is only one thing they are not a cortex well you have huge drug trafficking in your country and i gain. more than seventy percent of the drugs that border so this is another problem and. more recently for example environment when we talk about the environment it i

has concluded that debates are about creating moments and has equipped him with a series of zingers that he's memorized and has been practicing on aides since august. the zinger strategy apparently includes luring president obama into appearing smug or evasive in his responses, especially on questions of the economy. this is where jimmy fallon comes in. >> tomorrow is the first of three debates between myself and president obama. i'm looking forward to having a serious conversation with my opponent about the issues. i've always prepared a few zingers for the occasion. for example, when we greet each other on stage before the debate, i'll put my finger on obama's tie and say, there's something on your tie. when he looks down, i'll slide my finger from his sternum to his nostrils and say, boop. for instance, when obama is talking during the debate i'll interrupt him and say that's what she said? ha, ha, ha. gets them every time. last week, my campaign leaked a memo telling everyone to lower expectations for my performance in these debates. as we all know barack obama is an extremely gifted speaker. you might even say he's a master debater. that's what she said? you got zing. you got zing. >> i don't know, man. fallen is giving zadakas a run for his moment on this romney impression. >>> here's the latest. >> mr. president, china is demanding that the u.s. pay back its debt in full immediately. failure to do so will bring on financial apocalypse. you need to look into that camera and convince the people of china we are good to pay back that debt. >> why you got to play me like that, china? when you loan that money to my predecessors, did you really think you were going to get it back? >> china's not budging but we have just had the results back from your latest presidential physical and it tornadoes out you have telepathic powers. look into that camera and convince the chinese the

ha ha ha of the organism i mean i mean there was no it's so so so so. it's treatment it's a long very long and painful treatment the important for that is a true yes sure first you have to change your mindset and where i said i offered several cubes but the first set of rules is a very good thing that you said. because when the when the when the customs tariff is so hard that it's easier to bribe a person or one won't be he may be too weak to refuse them because well into millions and millions ok listen what are the other burning issues i'm not sure corruption is the only issue that you're fighting what's the other burning issues for the customs organization well another burning issue is burning issues of course it is it's great. can't have it is only one thing. not a cortex well you have a huge drug trafficking in your country and i gain. more than seventy percent of the drugs that border so this is another problem and. more recently for example environment when we talk about the environment it is about how does this waste. in a species indigenous species it is again border issues so that kind of border management is very important but at the same time currently many parts of the world especially the developed economy is suffering from economic crises caused by financial crisis and how best we can to help the economy to recover that is again customs role in creating good at the most we have good climate for investment and incentive. to do that more. investment in country so that kind of economy could complicate even this well you're joining a. gang of your business and this is what customs can do contribute hugely so those are the areas that we're ideally concerned thank you thank you very much for being with us and just to remind my guest today was. the secretary general of the world. and that's it for now from all or if you want to have yourselves part or have someone in mind you think i should. start a line at our dart party and let's bring throttling. back with more comments on what's going on and. until then take part in take. more news today violence is once again flared up. these are the images the world has been seeing from the streets of canada. sheinkopf oration to rule the day. wealthy british style. tight. tight. markets why not scandals find out what's really happening to the global economy with max kaiser for a no holds barred look at the global financial headlines tune into kinds a report on r g.

and then all of you, you think that you are here, ha, ha, ha.but you will all be working to close the gap. so lanar is here, you know, i need more than $25,000 from you cofy, i need $25 million from you. so when you borrow the money from the chinese government, when they buy, you know, invest in your program, you can tact along a few more