woman: it's very difficult again at this age because they're very egocentric, and it's a process. is to y, "oh, so-and-so needs your help. "look what happened when you bumped into him. let's go help him, ok?" if it's a problem with someone accidentally getting bumped in the face or with an object if they're spinning around or turning around or whatever and you say, "i know you didn't mean to do that. what can you do to help him feel better or her feel better?" and you try and give them suggestions if they can't come up with something. "maybe you can rub the hurt away." things like that. again it's modeling the language as well as the behavior for them, until it becomes more... easier and something that's more readily available to them. it may not he been a part of their experience in the past to do something like that, so we have to provide it for them. can you say it louder? hello? hello. oh, just tommy, marvin... hendrick: our challenge is to pay more attention to behaviors we like and less attention to behaviors we don't like. in other words, it's more effective to focus on the