i'm dating sheldon cooper. yes. on purpose.liant, and his skin has that pale, waxy quality. well, sickly is the new sexy. yeah. mm. you know, amy, sometimes when you're in a relationship with someone you really care about, the sucky part is, it leaves you open to getting hurt. do you ever worry about leonard doing that to you? (laughs) that's hilarious. no. get that guy! get that guy! pew! pew! pew! pew! dr. rostenkowski, it may interest you to know that saying "pew, pew, pew" isn't as effective as pressing your blaster key. in the same way that saying "whee!" doesn't make the land speeder go. pew! raj, imperial troopers on your tail. (groaning): got him. when gandhi advocated his philosophy of non-violence, i bet he didn't know how much fun it was killing stuff. all right, i think we got them all. let's divide up the loot. bernadette: ooh, look at this pretty purple robe i just got. you should put on yours and then we'll match. but i worked hard to get this armor. sorry, i just thought it'd be nice if people knew we were a cou

this is truly the sheldon cooper way to get even.low-tech, but i still maintain the whoopee cushion has comic validity. here comes kripke! leonard: who is that with him? koothrappali: i believe that's the president of the university. and the board of directors. abort! abort! there is no "abort." how could you not put in an "abort"? i made a boo-boo, all right? kripke: i think the board will really appreciate how well we're using that nsa grant, president seibert. right here we have a micro-controlled plasma... wow. looks like the ganges on laundry day. at least they don't know it was you. (chiming) sheldon (on computer): hello, kripke. this classic prank comes to you from the malevolent mind of sheldon cooper. if you'd like to see the look on your stupid face, this video is being instantly uploaded to youtube. oh, and a hat tip to leonard hofstadter and raj koothrappali for their support and encouragement in this enterprise. well, i'm going back to india. what's your plan? [ roars ] ♪ ♪ [ roars ] ♪ [ roars ] ♪ [ male announcer ] univ

this is sheldon cooper.this evening, so i'll be reducing my usual order. i'd like to start with one quarter of the assorted appetizers plate and, uh, one half of the golden treasure for two. oh, for heaven's sake. in the mid-18th century, king rama iv of siam divided a huge empire amongst the colonial powers of europe in order to preserve his throne. surely, you, his cultural descendant, can handle pad thai and dumplings. penny (screaming): sheldon, help! i need to go-- but you keep in mind that my sharply worded comments on yelp.com recently took down a local muffin store. penny. penny. penny. come in! hurry! (water running) penny? i'm back here. penny. penny. penny. oh, for god's sakes, i'm in the bathroom! shall i come back at a better time? get in here! hurry! don't you dare knock! hello. i slipped in the shower, and i think i dislocated my shoulder. not surprising. you have no safety mat or adhesive stickers to allow for purchase on a surface with a low coefficient of static friction. what? tubs are sli

sheldon cooper. yes? may i come in? yeah. i see you're drinking wine. yes, we are. -huh. sheldon, do you want to sleep here tonight? oh, as small as leonard is, i don't think the two of you'd be comfortable on the couch. what do you want? it's not what i want, it's what evolution wants. human beings are primates. primates have evolved to live in groups, both for protection and support. but you don't like other people. i do tonight. it's scary over there. it's getting scary here, too. um... three little kittens? three little pigs? (groans) god, i don't know. star wars? (timer dings) did we win? can we go to bed? good lord-- i could not have made this easier. hydrogen atom, h, plus pigs minus pea-- higgs. bow, general zod trapped in the phantom zone. bow-zone. pear. tickle. pear-tickle. higgs boson particle. how could you not get that? he's right, penny. it's all there. sheldon, sweetie, i know you're feeling insecure, but we've really got to go to sleep. all right. i'll take the first watch and wake you at 0400. great. good night. wait, wait-- what's 0400? 4:00 a.m. t

ooh, am i about to get a rare sheldon cooper hug? no, not this time. then they wouldn't be special.you're welcome. don't worry, i didn't forget about you. oh... leonard, i got you... a label-maker! wow... no, it's great. also mint-in-box. mm. and i got you a transporter, too! awesome! look, it was actually designed for my vintage mr. spock action figure. oh, that's great! let's open them up and put him in there. open it?! oh, good lord, no! why? they're just toys. they're collectibles. they're mint-in-box. come on. can't we open one up and take a look? (screams) no, don't! once you open the box, it loses its value. yeah, yeah. my mom gave me the same lecture about my virginity. gotta tell you, it was a lot more fun taking it out and playing with it. are you sure you want us here when you meet this woman? oh, yes. in my culture, it's expected to have a chaperone to oversee a first date. plus, i want to make a good impression, and no offense, but with you guys here, i look like i'm six-two. the nuns always chaperoned the dances at my high school. they used to make us leave room betwee

. >> sheldon cooper wants to know, did william ever give knitted slippers to his political friends and adversaries? >> yes. there was actually, it was pretty brilliant. i understand she was a very witty woman. if she did not like someone, and the one area where we do see her really having an influence is in judging the character of people that he is considering for higher positions, to be around him. if she didn't like someone or if she didn't trust someone, it wasn't like she threw a fit. she gave him a very rational explanation. anyway, she also indicated how she felt about them by the color of the slippers she gave. she would give purple as a way of saying this guy is very loyal, and yellow if she thought he was a yes-man, and a bit of a coward in expressing himself. >> well, the so-called friend was watching this relationship between the two more closely than the public could. she said the fact that her husband had been a shield between her and reality had made her a pathetically spoiled and difficult woman. mrs. mckinley knew what she liked and got it royally. >> i would say that

. >> sheldon cooper wants to know, did william ever give knitted slippers to his political friends and adversaries? >> yes. there was actually, it was pretty brilliant. i understand she was a very witty woman. if she did not like someone, and the one area where we do see her really having an influence is in judging the character of people that he is considering for higher positions, to be around him. if she didn't like someone or if she didn't trust someone, it wasn't like she threw a fit. she gave him a very rational explanation. anyway, she also indicated how she felt about them by the color of the slippers she gave. she would give purple as a way of saying this guy is worried loyal, and yellow if she thought he was a yes-man, and a bit of a coward in expressing himself. >> well, the so-called friend was watching this relationship between the two more closely than the public could. she said the fact that her husband had been a shield between her and reality had made her a pathetically spoiled it difficult woman. mrs. mckinley knew what she liked and got it royally. >> i would say tha