jimmy: no!'t -- i swear, jimmy. the minute i go back to my regular height, if you hit me. i swear. >> jimmy: i won't. >> okay. slow down! slow down! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how about we try -- how about we try a -- how about we try a wave? you want to try the wave? >> you want to throw water at me? >> jimmy: no, no, no -- >> don't you throw water at me! >> jimmy: i'm not going to throw water on you. >> you better keep that mug over there. >> jimmy: i'll keep it over here. >> i swear, you better keep it over there. >> jimmy: i will. no, the -- >> oh, the dance. >> jimmy: the wave, yeah. >> say, pop lock. black people don't say wave. [ laughter ] it's a pop lock. >> jimmy: i didn't what you were talking about. i was thinking about doing the wave. now i want to do the pop lock. ready? ready? >> go ahead! >> jimmy: all right. >> bring it. [ cheers ] take it back! don't be racist. take it back! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. all night. now, look -- it's not racist if i don't take the pop lock back.

but jimmy fallon happening right now! jimmy! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6a in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] wow. hot crowd, baby. hot new york city crowd. thank you so much. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for being here. oh, man. it's going to be so fun. thank you for being here, everybody. thank you for watching at home. here's what people are talking about. president obama's former defense secretary robert gates has written a new memoir where he says that joe biden has been wrong on almost every foreign policy issue in the last 40 years. [ light laughter ] yeah. says he's awful when it comes to foreign countries. then biden was like, "hey, is this about the time i got lost at epcot? [ laughter ] are you going to brin

: jimmy, jimmy, jimmy! right. now this one. >> jimmy: i don't know. >> i'm not sure how we're going to do this. >> jimmy: i have no advice. >> i'm going for the whole bowl. >> jimmy: i could go for the whole bowl, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] between the legs on this one. >> i'm thinking -- i'm going with a side shot. >> jimmy: all right. oh. [ audience oohs ] >> made a good splatter though. it was a nice splatter. >> jimmy: it was a good splatter. >> i think you're going to make it. >> jimmy: you do? >> i'm going to stand right here. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. >> here we go. ♪ >> jimmy: you ready? >> be careful. don't get any on your pants. [ audience oohs ] >> jimmy: that was frightening. that was a little scary. there's plastic shards all over the place. here we go. it's a tied game. all right. you've got to make this one. >> is this worth two points? [ audience oohs ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. it's the money turkey. it's the money turkey right here. ♪ >> all right. [ audience oohs ] [ laughte

but jimmy fallon, happening right now. jimmy!heers and applause ] ♪ tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you! thank you very much, everybody! welcome, everybody! that's what i'm talking about right there, thank you. that's a hot crowd! hot crowd! [ cheers and applause ] hot crowd right there. welcome, everybody. i love you. i love you! [ cheers and applause ] welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." you guys feeling good tonight? [ cheers and applause ] welcome, welcome. thank you for being here, everybody. here what people are talking about. new jersey governor chris christie. [ laughter ] man, he's just having a rough week. i'm sure you heard about this. he's in a lot of trouble because his staff shut down part of the george washington bridge to get back at a political rival. and yesterday, christie gave a 107-minute press conference to address the scandal. man, last time chris christie talked for 107 m

>> i don't talk line, jimmy. >> jimmy: i got you.do you think is going to win, honestly? >> i've literally gone back and forth. i did the championship game in seattle. came out of that game thinking, nobody can beat them. and then friends of mine, who probably know more than i know about the nfl start -- they've convinced me that denver's going to win. my fiance is from deer. so -- it would be hard right now on national tv to pick against the denver broncos. >> jimmy: so -- >> i got a lot riding on that, if you know what i'm saying. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. [ laughter ] >> so that said, i kind of think this game will be won by the -- seahawks? >> jimmy: oh! you think so? >> no. i was kidding. i meant the denver broncos. >> jimmy: you can't say it! oh my god. i heard floyd mayweather made a $10 million bet. >> i just heard that. >> jimmy: on the broncos. $10 million. >> yeah. does that make you -- is there a small part of you that wants to see him lose that. are you a -- >> jimmy: no. i don't ever -- i don't mess with floyd mayweather. he

>> jimmy: yeah, how's it -- yeah. >> all right. >> jimmy: weird!rs old. [ laughter ] push? >> yeah, just push. there you go. >> jimmy: ah! you want to try it? >> questlove: no! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: just give it a shot. >> yeah, you like shrimp? here. there you go. just push. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, that's good. you got skills there. >> it's just shrimp, so putting it in here. >> jimmy: that's shrimp right there. so it's cooking. how hot is the water? >> it is about 60 degrees. here, put your hand in there. not too bad. >> jimmy: okay. yeah, pretty good. >> so that's it. so then, normally, you take them out. they're ready. they've cooked. >> jimmy: shrimp is all the way cooked. that's just shrimp, and you made it into noodles. >> we just made noodles out of shrimp so -- >> jimmy: gosh. >> now we're just going to make the noodles. here, just like this. >> jimmy: see, this is why you're a genius. mom, if you're watching, be so proud of this guy. he's awesome. >> so that would be it. >> jimmy: okay. >> just make -- so we go ahead and make o

>> guillermo: right, jimmy. >> jimmy: thank you. this is something. an exciting new piece of technology has been born here in los angeles. maybe the most exciting piece of technology ever. this is currently residing in a mobile station not too far from here in west hollywood. it is the burrito box. it's a burrito vending machine. or as guillermo calls it, a hot burrito bending machine. right? an easy way to tell if you're stoned out of your mind is you're buying burritos out of a vending machine. it comes out with guacamole on the side, sour cream, hot sauce. i guess this is for people who are too much in a hurry to wait 40 seconds attack co beto taco . we got a hol of a burrito box and we're going to demonstrate it for real how it works in a few minutes. we got it this amp. guillermo has already gotten his head stuck in it four times. >> guillermo: yeah. >> jimmy: and new jersey governor chris christie has had a bad couple of days. he's embroiled in a major scandal involving lane closures near the george washington bridge. one of his top aides allege

>> jimmy: perfect. joey. "hey, jimmy. a newspaper article that said that the roots are all really good at pretending to cry. can you confirm this?" i'm not sure if that's true. they're pretty good actors. let's find out. roots, can you guys pretend to cry? ♪ [ laughter ] wow. ♪ [ applause ] [ laughter ] ♪ oh, wow. ♪ hey! [ cheers and applause ] james! james! how come you're not crying? >> i am crying. on the inside. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm sorry to hear that. this one's from robin schmal. "hey, jimmy. i love the new movie 'her,' but i would love it even more if it starred by favorite actor gilbert gottfried. you should make that happen." that's a great suggestion, robin. here's a clip from the movie "her" where scarlett johansson's voice is replaced by gilbert gottfried's. [ gottfried's voice ] >> look forward. now stop and sneeze. >> aa-choo! >> bless you. >> ha-ha, you're ridiculous! now turn to your right and stop. now spin around. keep going. keep going until you feel like you're going to pu

>> no, jimmy. >> jimmy: like we met in -- >> no, jimmy, no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you don't believe. you just want me to say yeah, jimmy? no, jimmy. >> jimmy: i'm not saying you did anything wrong. >> no. >> jimmy: all right. we'll leave it at that. wow. but you've had some life. >> i've had a good life. i've enjoyed myself. and you know -- >> jimmy: in a number of ways. >> i did everything that i needed to do to feel good about sitting here right now. you know. but you know, i missed the prom. i never had a prom. you never, i did -- >> jimmy: we should have a prom for you. >> please. >> jimmy: that would be great. [ cheers and applause ] i also missed the prom. but it wasn't because i was on tour. it was because i was at home watching television with my parents. [ laughter ] >> i don't understand. >> jimmy: well, it turns out you can't go to the prom by yourself. so yeah. yeah. while you were out on the road summoning women from within, i was watching "the fall guy" on television. [ laughter ] on a little black-and-white television in my bedroom. all right. we're going to take a br

cat [ bleep ] >> jimmy: no. >> no, what? >> jimmy: yeah, no. >> jimmy: no, you can't say it.oke. >> jimmy: no, it's okay. sorry about that. ralph's already cursed out santa claus. so we're good. but you're here in the city on christmas. >> yeah. >> jimmy: are you going to hang out in the city? what are you doing out for the holidays? >> i'm going to be snuggled in california heat. >> jimmy: something cozy. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i think juliette lewis, i think -- >> what do you think of? >> jimmy: the griswolds. >> oh, dear. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: absolutely, right there. how fun is that? >> there she is. >> jimmy: that's one of the best holiday movies in the world. "christmas vacation." >> thank you. >> jimmy: how cute. >> i'm so proud that i am, i was a griswold. i made it into that club. i love it. >> jimmy: was this one of your first movies? >> it was. it was like -- it was the first huge movie. it was a big studio film, and i was nervous and i met chevy chase. >> jimmy: he's the best. we love chevy chase. he was super nice. >> he said i was going to be a big star. >> jimmy: di

but jimmy fallon is happening right now! jimmy! ♪ tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much! hey! that's what i'm talking about right there. welcome! feels good. feels good. thank you so much. hot crowd. hot crowd right here! welcome. thank you for being here. thank you for watching. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." here's what people are talking about the super bowl. everyone is talking about this 'cause the denver broncos and the seattle seahawks advanced to big game. congratulations to those guys. [ cheers and applause ] exciting. it will be a good match-up. which means, though, this year's super bowl we'll have teams from two states where recreational marijuana is legal. [ cheers and applause ] oh as pizza deliverymen put it, pray for us. [ laughter ] the super bowl where both states have legal weed. people who make doritos are calling it a stoner vortex. [ laughter and applause ] the p

♪ about what, jimmy?> jimmy: about leaving "late night." [ audience aws ] >> hey. [ cheers and applause ] what's going on? >> yeah, we just heard some sad, yet sappy, heartwarming music. is everything all right? >> yeah, jimmy's just a little scared about leaving "late night.' jimmy, i know how you feel, but there's nothing to be afraid of. i host a talk show, too. you've probably heard of it -- "wake up, san francisco." [ cheers and applause ] >> look jimmy, i think what danny is trying to say is that everything is gonna be fine. >> jimmy: it is? >> of course. i mean, you're leaving "late night." but listen, you're taking over the "tonight show." do you have any idea how cool that is? >> yeah, only five people in history have ever hosted the "tonight show," jimmy. comedy legends like johnny carson. it's so cold, i -- i saw a dog stuck to a fire hydrant. [ laughter ] jay leno -- have you seen this in the paper? popeye the sailor drowned in olive oil. [ laughter and applause ] popeye -- >> why do you have

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by >> jimmy: thank you. welcome, everybody. thank you so much. that's a hot crowd right there. [ cheers and applause ] thank you very, very much. welcome. have a seat. thank you very much. welcome to our show, everybody. i'm so psyched. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." hot crowd. oh my gosh. [ cheers and applause ] i know why. it's because of the super bowl, right? it's because everyone's here in town -- yeah, yeah. i mean, everyone's talking about the super bowl here. and the forecast actually for sunday's game has actually improved in the last week. it's expected to be in the mid 30s with winds of only 6 miles an hour. [ light laughter ] or is that forecast would be known in atlanta, the apocalypse. [ laughter and applause ] 6 miles? do you understand? >> steve: golly! >> jimmy: that's right, it will be in the mid 30s at game time. that's a good temperature for new jersey. it's above freezing but not so wa

you are awesome, man. >> thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: you are fantastic.e's a new documentary out on netflix today -- actually this afternoon it came out -- about his run for the presidency. mitt romney is on the show. [ cheers and applause ] it's a great documentary. it's so interesting, this documentary. i watched it already. it's like unbelievable. it's behind the scenes. you see him and his family in the room, from their prospective, what's going on. it's like -- it's unbelievable. it's actually really funny. like, he's great. he's got these great jokes, and his kids are unbelievable. his boys. we'll talk about it. i think people are going to flip over this. also from the hit show "the following," james purefoy is stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] that's a creepy show. that's a scary show. it's going to be fun. and we have great music from schoolboy q, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] hey, guys, today is friday and i want to catch up with personal stuff. i check my inbox, return some e-mails, and of course send out thank you notes. i was running b

>> jimmy: oh. >> so that was not good. >> jimmy: that's troublesome.o her. >> jimmy: that's why you have to keep children away from that ellen show. >> jimm ruining childhoods one at a time. >> i take full responsibility for that. >> has your daughter heard you in "enchanted." >> she heard it. but she loves dressing up like princess. she wanted the dress. >> jimmy: me too. >> me too. i enjoyed dressing up like princesses. but she put on the giselle dres and said i know you think you were playing giselle, mommy, but you were actually playing me. i am giselle. i like that. it makes me feel like she has a good sense of self. >> jimmy: she sounds like a troublemaker to me. >> good. i'm glad actually. when we come back, your two great movie, the latest of which is the new spike jonze movie "her." amy adams is here. be right back. the creamy taste of almond breeze almondmilk makes everything good even better... from the bowls of cereal you make... to all the delicious recipes you bake. because inside every carton is the goodness of blue diamond almonds. so g

but jimmy fallon -- jimmy -- jimmy fallon happening right now!d applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6a in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. that's feels so good. that feels very good. thank you so much for that. oh wow, hot crowd. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." [ cheers and applause ] you guys have -- this is our first show of 2014. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] i just want to take a moment to say and i really mean this you guys are the best crowd we had all year. [ cheers and applause ] welcome, everybody. welcome to the show. some rough weather this weekend. oh, my goodness. in fact, yesterday most of the country experienced the coldest temperatures in almost 20 years. >> audience member: whoo! >> jimmy: you can tell. [ laughter ] i wouldn't say whoo! it was really cold. you could tell it was cold because phil robertson from "duck d

>> i'm sculpting, jimmy. >> jimmy: you're a sculpting?> guillermo: yeah. >> do you remember mommy baking, joan? >> jimmy: mommy? >> yeah, we have a mother. >> jimmy: but you call her mother, not mommy. what are you, 4 years old? >> referring to her, it was our mother which is mommy. >> jimmy: but it sounds stupid. >> mommy. >> so do you sound stupid sometimes. >> jimmy: now you complain that sal is harassing you and you do the same thing to me. so sorry about my -- she doesn't usually behave like this. >> let me see now. i like these little cutout things. let's see what else we've got here. >> this is amazing. >> sal, you better cut it out! you took my balls off again. >> your balls now? >> i'm not touching your disgusting mess over there. >> now this is disgusting. >> yeah, it is. >> ready? i'll say when. >> should i have gloves on? >> no, you're good. >> jimmy: look at that. >> all right, go. boom! >> what the hell is that? >> it's a football cake. if you ymust know. >> i'm going to have to beat the [ bleep ] out of him. i don't know wh

>> jimmy: it's fine. touched by you. >> that was light actually. >> jimmy: how are you? >> i'm good. >> jimmy: i saw on your twitter feed -- by the way, i want to thank you -- >> what did you see? >> jimmy: i saw you in a bikini. i like that. by the way, a lot of people don't feel like we deserve to see them in a bikini and -- but you know that we want to see you in a bikini. >> but imagine at this age i don't take for granted when i look good in a bikini. i want the world to know i'm still -- you know? i don't know for how much longer i can hold it all together. >> jimmy: i'll let you know. i'll let you know. the internet will let you know. >> that's for sure, exactly. that's a good test now. you send a picture. they react good, then you're good. >> jimmy: i'm always interested in your vacations and your life in general because you do not travel alone. far from it. you always have a very big group of family members, maybe some friends thrown in there, too. how many people went to mexico? >> no, it was si

but "jimmy fallon" happening right now. jimmy! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. hot crowd. thank you. i appreciate that. oh, my goodness. hot crowd tonight. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon" everybody. [ cheers and applause ] we're snowed in you guys. it's gonna be a slumber party. get cozy. get cozy. welcome, everybody. we'll have fun tonight. let's get to new stuff. here is what people are talking about. there is a new interview where chris christie said he was shocked by the bridge-gate scandal and it felt like getting hit in the head with a two by four. of course in new jersey that is how people say hello. [ laughter ] hey bobbie sweatpants. give my best to the misses. [ laughter ] bobbie sweat pants. yeah, yeah, yeah. the scandals keep coming for the governor. now olympic gold medalist carl lewis is claiming chris christie pressured him to b

>> yeah. >> jimmy: you have a good break? >> yes, jimmy. >> jimmy: you sent a picture to me today.d it to me. now, you know guillermo has a young son named benji. how old is benji right now? >> 2-year-old. >> jimmy: 2 years old. guillermo took him for his first haircut. some kids hate haircuts. some kids are okay with them. let's see how benji did. [ laughter ] he loves it. you should never put him through that again. you should let him grow his hair out long like fabio or something. >> i'm not going to do that. >> jimmy: now, on top of getting his son's hair cut, guillermo also got an exclusive interview with the great and legendary director martin scorsese. he has a new movie called "the wolf of wall street." and maybe even more exciting than that a new interview with everyone's favorite parking lot security guard. here's martin scorsese and guillermo, "uno on uno." >> hi! >> hey. >> welcome back, mr. scorsese. >> hi. how are you? how are you? >> how are you? >> good. great. photo? >> yeah, sure. >> all right. thank you. >> mr. scorsese, thank you for doing "uno a uno." >> thank

>> jimmy: no, no. sax music ] ♪ ♪ come on! ♪ [ rythmic clapping ] oh, you dropped it? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: don't worry about it. we'll get it later. we'll get it later. it happens all the time. it's a tiny sax. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: from @spyro. she says, "i had a waiter tell me that there couldn't possibly be a hair in my salad because the guy that tosses the salads is bald." [ laughter and applause ] okay. >> steve: -- he's bald. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this one's from @alecdbryant. he says, "my friend asked, 'can i order off the kids' menu?' and our waiter said, 'if you call me daddy.'" >> steve: what? [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: bone nibbling on him. >> steve: bone nibbling time. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no. then he said, "it's bone nibbling time"? that's weird. >> steve: yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the chicken wing place. >> steve: yeah exactly, that's what it's called. bone nibbling time. >> jimmy: this one @shambelia. she says, "my server asked me, 'how does it feel?' in

>> jimmy: yeah! >> jimmy: a couple of no's. outfit like thiat, e better be able to dance. >> of course. >> let's see it. ♪ >> jimmy: he's good. he was one of the zombies in thriller. who else is there? >> my name is barry jacobs. >> barry, can you dance? >> no! >> jimmy: can barry dance? let's find out. >> not really. >> go ahead, prove it. ♪ >> jimmy: he's the barry whitest is what he is. i don't know what that was. that was not dancing, though. next up. >> my name is kurt miller. >> kurt, can you dance? >> jimmy: more yeses then no's? i don't know what you're basing that on. let's find out. >> no. i have two left feet. >> let's see them. ♪ >> jimmy: he looks like he's work on the runway at an airport. i bet he's good at other stuff. how many more? two more? >> where are you from? >> originally brooklyn, new york. now here in l.a. >> seymour, can you dance? >> yeah! >> jimmy: everyone wants to seymour gan dance. he can barely get that hat on his head. >> i can dance, i can dance. >> let's see it. ♪ >> jimmy: seymour is about t

jimmy. >> jimmy: thank you so much, miles.orso punch bag man and here's a jacket with fake arms stitched into it. all you got to do is put the jacket on, and you whip your fake arms around and slap the crap out of the punch bag man for 15 seconds. i mean, really let him have it. get the frustration out. perfect right there. also while you're doing this, the roots will be playing the classic '70s adult contemporary song "all by myself" by eric carmen. are you ready for this challenge? >> yeah, for sure. >> jimmy: absolutely. so happy you came to america, aren't you? >> yeah absolutely. thank you very much. >> jimmy: all right. 15 seconds on the clock. ready, set, slap. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ all by myself don't want to be all by myself ♪ >> jimmy: hey, hey, hey! [ cheers and applause ] get some therapy. well, you did it, you got 12 points. so far you're in the lead, buddy. very, very good. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ go stand over there. all right. it's down to you, my friend. now you need to land on something worth more than

and now that i have your attention, here's jimmy kimmel! [ applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. thank you for showing up to my work place unannounced. i'm happy you're here. i know you have a lot of entertainment options out on hollywood boulevard. i mean, there are two wax museums on this block. so i appreciate the fact that you selected me tonight. did any of you watch president obama's state of the union address last night? why don't i believe any of you. president obama said the state of the union is strong, which is something the president says every year. just once i would like to hear a president say the state of the union is dope. we could use some dopeness. but this to me is the most interesting part of the speech. >> tonight, this chamber speaks with one boys to the people we represent. >> jimmy: why is john boehner the darkest guy up there? how does this happen? it's 25 degrees in washington, d.c. how is he tanning? the president said we have to act now on the issue of climate change. if you don't believe the scientists, look at john boehner's face. after the speech,

tomorrow night wanda sykes, but jimmy fallon happening right now. jimmy! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, everybody! thank you so much! hey! that's a lot of love! makes you feel good! welcome! hot crowd! [ cheers and applause ] hot crowd. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. oh, my goodness. welcome. fun show tonight. welcome, everybody. welcome to the show. let's get to some news stuff. here's what people are talking about there. the grammy awards were last night. did you guys watch the grammys? [ cheers ] it was really good. i enjoyed it. some fun things there. the big winners were daft punk and lorde, which is great. the big loser was the guy sitting behind pharrell williams. [ laughter and applause ] even the pope was like, "hey, down in front." come on. couldn't see anything. last night daft punk won five grammys including album of the year. [ cheers and applause ] it was great. fans

here's jimmy kimmel. [ applause ] >> jimmy: we have an extra great show for you tonight. we have music from a real guitar virtuoso, johnny lang. we have an extraordinarily talented joseph gordon-levitt is here. and as if that isn't enough, meryl streep as well. let's be honest. meryl streep is slumming. i'm happy she's here, but she deserves better than this. she really does. meryl streep, when it comes to act, she's peerless. she has no peers which, by the way, means she can't be tried by a jury. so really, she can commit any crime she wants and we just have to stand by and watch it. it's amazing to watch her work. she plays so many different characters and the way she makes each one of them come alive sin credible. especially considering the fact that she only does it for the money. that's true. she doesn't even like to act. she hates it. meryl is likely to get her 18th academy award nomination for "august: osage county." they made a movie based on a play. and now this is interesting. they're taking it a step further and they're making a tv show out of the movie. >> in

>> jimmy: yes!ng to be rough this weekend. >> that's definitely real beer, by the way. just saying. ♪ oh, this is terrible. >> jimmy: whoa! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: beer! ♪ oh, my gosh. drake, you're from canada. >> yes, i am. >> jimmy: you have to win at hockey. >> no, i love beer and hockey. that's the whole point. >> jimmy: i know. >> oh, how did that not go in? yeah, this -- there we go. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i was mad about that one. i kind of lost my head on that one. i'm ready. >> i don't know where it's going. i'm ready to put it back. no. oh. you go ahead. you go. [ laughter ] >> what is that -- hold on. are we counting that? >> jimmy: what do you mean? >> that was like -- >> jimmy: you want a slo-mo replay of that? >> yeah can we -- yeah, no. this is under review 100 percent. >> jimmy: yeah! that counts. ♪ i'll do one with you. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] drake everybody. check him out. "saturday night live" this weekend. ana gasteyer joins us next. come o

jimmy. >> jimmy: yeah, how are you? >> hi. >> jimmy: yeah, what's up?ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> i have a creature that is frightening and hairy. [ laughter ] i have a frightening, hairy creature in my box. >> jimmy: okay, very nice. thank you, julie, thank you. [ cheers ] i may get in trouble for this, but i'm going to say that is -- the truth. >> yes, it is. ♪ [ talking over each other ] that is in my box. >> jimmy: good. all right, that is in there. yes, thank you julie. all right, i have one point. i have one point. what number, guys? what number? three. [ grunts ] >> that is a lot of fakeration going on over there. okay, i'm not looking. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: okay. okay. >> i'm listening for sounds or clues. >> jimmy: don't. [ laughter ] >> oh, don't do that. >> jimmy: what i have in my box. >> not the same as my box, sister. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it is similar. similar tweeds. similar tweeds. >> oh yeah, sure, okay. [ english accent ] >> jimmy: it is a beautiful feather. taped or glued onto a piece of paper. >> feather. [ english accent

>> guillermo: no, jimmy. >> jimmy: what was that? >> guillermo: no, i didn't know about it, jimmy. >> jimmy: why are you talking like a robot now? you see, they're multiplying as we speak. president obama said some interesting things in an interview with the new yorker that was published on sunday. they asked about the risk associated with contact sports. obama said he wouldn't let his son play profession nap football. and then in the same interview, he said marijuana is not as dangerous as alcohol. parentally he's been smoking marijuana because he thinks he has a son. the president said -- [ applause ] >> jimmy: while he doesn't encourage marijuana use, he thinks pot is less dangerous than alcohol because of impact on the individual consumer. sounds like he just wants to get michelle stoned so they can eat chips in the white house. he said he discouraged his daughters to smoke pot by telling them it's a waste of time. that's the whole point, right? wouldn't it be weird if 20 years from now, football was illegal and smoking pot was a

] >> jimmy: yeah.ackstage. you look like you're perfect. >> you know you know that you get into this thing where you want the baby to sleep. it's 3:00 in the morning. and for me, i get into this delirious thing where i figure i'd cracked the code. like i'm some kind of like a world war ii code cracker. where i sit there and go -- it's shake three times, rub the back, rub the head, shake two times. >> jimmy: yeah. >> shake three times. >> jimmy: yeah. >> rub the back. rub the head. and two pats, three dips, head. and the baby falls asleep. i'm like, "i got it! i did it. i figured it out!" >> jimmy: yeah, pat, pat, head. roll, flip, rub. >> and then two seconds later -- >> jimmy: i screwed it up! i screwed up the code! >> well, you thought you had it. you never crack the code. >> jimmy: no, but i just can't -- now she's only, what, two months old? >> she's two months old. >> jimmy: my baby is three and she is starting to imitate me now. anything i do -- if i laugh. and she is like -- [ laughter ] and i j

♪ jimmy kimmel live ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you for watching. you for watching. and hey, quick question, is it yuletide or yuletime. valentine or valentide? very confusing. hey, we got an early christmas gift today from toronto. this morning, mayor rob ford apologized to members of the city council for calling them corrupt. he called them corrupt yesterday. a half apology. he said he was super, super, super, super, super sorry. it is not just food. he super sizes everything. he apologized, council speaker, demanded it. a contentious exchange between them. then something magical happened. rather than tell you about i think it best to show you what happened today. >> yeah, he is absolutely right. the mayor is. he did nothing wrong. he didn't have to apologize. good that you did, because of the way you described it, jerry. but he didn't have to do it. >> all right. before we go further on this. apparent leap they're dancing at city hall. look at that. isn't that great. there is the mayor. >> i smell an apology coming. >> the one in the red is the s

♪ jimmy kimmel live [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ indiscernible ] >> jimmy: happy holidays.six days until christmas. i am wrapping a lot of gift right now. i am not good, i am terrible at wrapping gifts. i discovered something great last night. you don't need to wrap the gifts. get a can of silly string. go to town. it is better than wrapping. it coats the gift. what a magical time this is. on christmas eve, santa flies all around the world giving expensive presents to the rich kids. crappie cheap stuff to the poor. he is a real jerk that guy. i saw some kids getting their pictures taken with santa over the weekend. a tradition that roughly 2% of children enjoy. 98% scream bloody murder. i don't know who started this. it doesn't make a lot of sense. the man that terrified you at the mall the one we handed you over to, in the middle of the night he is going to come down our chimney. we did this last year, a lot of fun. thought we would make it a tradition. i will show you a photograph of a screaming child's face. you will guess if they're getting their picture taken with sant

>> jimmy: i'm not bsing you. >> jimmy: i'm not kirk gibson. look at you blushing. to tell you something, if you think you're a good singner the shower, it's a big fat lie. the acoustics in bathrooms are incredible. >> jimmy: but it seems like it worked out for you once you exited the shower. would you be so kind. meryl says you should sing a little something for us. [ applause ] >> no. >> jimmy: can you give us like -- ♪ jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: i feel like we should be in the shower or something like that. >> blue eyes. >> i don't even know blue eyes. ♪ fly me to the moon ♪ let me play amongst the stars ♪ ♪ let me see what spring is like ♪ ♪ on jupiter and mars ♪ in other words ♪ please be true in other words ♪ ♪ baby, it's me >> jimmy: wow, i'm falling in love. ja "jack ryan: shadow recruit" opens in theaters tomorrow. we'll be right back with kevin o'leary. time to complete your bachelor's or master's degree and prepare for a new career. with devry university's merit-based career catalyst scholarship you can. apply by february 28th for up to $20,000 for qualifyin

need two numbers jimmy. >> jimmy: why?ir hand. a bat phone? >> just like when somebody calls you, you are like you called the wrong number. you have to have -- >> jimmy: what -- oh, you mean oh you can't answer being you and go, you called the wrong number. [ laughter ] >> no, when they are like why didn't you return my call. you know -- you go, oh, you probably have the wrong number? >> jimmy: god, what? i've never heard of this. what number did you give me back stage? [ laughter ] the real one? exactly. don't tell me. i saw -- i saw you on the instagram and i saw this. is this for real? did you go swimming with a shark. >> i did. >> jimmy: what is wrong with you? where? >> it is not a good idea but this is at bimini in the bahammas, at this place called a world resort at bimini. >> jimmy: and who is that dude? >> that was a hotty brazilian. >> jimmy: a p-90 x dude. [ laughter ] >> we picked him up along the way. we like to swim with sharks. it's not like a great idea. when we first got there, you can swim with sharks and

i couldn't talk. >> jimmy: how long? >> six weeks. >> jimmy: oh, wow.u have to drink your -- >> i was drinking solidly for six weeks. only liquid foods. >> jimmy: that's got to be terrible. >> it sucks. ? >> i would you get special foods brought in or would you throw things in the vitamix and blend it up. >> a little of both. a big shoutout to vitad you saved my freaking life. >> jimmy: you lost a lot of weight? >> 12 or 13 pounds. >> jimmy: you ought to write a book about how to lose weight. fist get a fountain in your house. did you learn a lesson about horse play? >> i hope so, jimmy. >> jimmy: were there any roles you missed out of because of that injury? >> luckily, i had finished filming, i had just finished this movie with seth rogan called "neighbors." >> jimmy: have you known other? >> no. i'm pretty stoked on the movie. it's one of the coolest ones i think i've ever been a part of. but the first time i met seth, i had just done "high school musical one" or two. i don't know. i still feel brand-new to the industry. but when i met seth, i could

but jimmy fallon happening right now, jimmy! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6a in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. d here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, get ready. oh, get ready. oh. oh, get ready. it is a good one tonight. it is a good one tonight. it's a good one tonight. that's what i'm talking about everybody. hot crowd. welcome. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." you guys feeling good tonight? [ cheers and applause ] welcome, everybody. all right. it's going to be a fun show tonight. here's what people are talking about. it's more trouble for new jersey governor chris christie. he's had a rough week. he's now being accused of using superstorm sandy relief money to produce a new jersey tourism commercial starring his family. it got even been worse when the ad said, "come to new jersey, but make sure you fly because traffic is going to be a bitch." [

here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thanks very much.nyone who's here in our audience at the grammy awards last night at the staples center? [ cheers ] did you get married? [ laughter ] they had a big mass wedding on the grammys last night. brides and grooms and grooms and grooms and brides and brides. couples of all sexual orientations were married on the telecast of the grammys in a mass ceremony held under pharrell williams's hat. [ laughter ] that's his hat. no need to point. we see it. [ laughter ] the hat turned out to be a bigger story than the big gay wedding. but -- by the way, getting married during the grammys is a great way to save money on the videographer. you just have to program the dvr. queen latifah officiated this ceremony while macklemore and ryan lewis did their song "same love." everyone who went to the grammys wound up married at the end whether they wanted to or not. [ laughter ] steven tyler is now mrs. ryan seacrest. [ laughter ] it was a big show. it was a strange show. daft punk won five grammy awards. neither

and now, most definitely, here's jimmy kimmel! and now, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thanks for coming. thank you for watching. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for coming to visit. [ cheers and applause ] i don't want -- i don't want the cops to know what's going on in here. so we have to be cool. [ laughter ] i'll be honest. i'm a mess tonight. i have an ear infection, which i had to have cut out with a knife this morning before work. i woke up with a cold today. and yet here i stand before you because your entertainment is more important to me -- [ cheers and applause ] some call me an american hero. [ laughter ] others just go with american. [ laughter ] i have mixed feelings about people coming to work sick. on one hand i admire their dedication. it would be easier to stay home. but on the other hand, get the hell away from me is all i can think. [ laughter ] the best is when you come into work and you get sent home immediately. that's like -- i mean, you hit it on both ends there. what percentage of people who say "don't worr

and now, how should i put this, here's jimmy kimmel! [ applause ] >> jimmy: thank you for coming. the united states and canada anxiously wait for news about justin bieber. you know, just when the streets are finally safe from lindsay lohan, justin bieber comes out of nowhere, arrested in miami beach early this morning on charges of dui, resisting arrest, driving with an expired license and he's in trouble with his grandparents for not stopping by to visit while he was there. he's driving that very low key lamborghini. a lot of people got video of this. >> oh, my god. justin just got pulled over. >> oh, many i god. >> jimmy: yeah, there he was. he was reportedly driving 60 in a 30 miles an hour zone. his friend was arrested for dui, too. no word yet on whether justin will be charged with a felony or a misde-bieber. that's pending. he did admit to police that he drank alcohol, spoked pot and took prescription drugs that night. that may have just been his way of announcing he's running for mayor of toronto. he failed a field sobriety test. of course he did. his pants are halfway down

>> jimmy: pro-biotics. >> you do. >> jimmy: oh, i know.and stephen hawking is someone you know well? >> well, i know him about as well as anybody out here. we have met on two or three occasions. >> jimmy: when a great genius like stephen hawking meets you, do you get the sense that he is a fan? that he's excited to meet a movie star? or is he above that? >> really hard to tell. >> jimmy: hard to tell, okay. i gotcha. well, it sounds like an interesting show. it's quite a contrast to the lego movie, i will say that. >> yeah. but i'm full of those. >> jimmy: well, it's great to have you here. morgan freeman everybody. "the lego movie" premiering february 7. and stephen hawking monday night on the science channel. right back with anna faris! so what's better, bigger or smaller? [ all ] bigger! now let's say a friend invites you over and they have a really big, really fun pool. and then another friend invites you over who has a much smaller, less fun pool. which pool would you rather go to? does the big pool have piranhas? i believe so. does i

roslyn was out visiting jimmy carter sister, she would see jimmy carter and have many interactions with them. this is where roslyn smith carter and jimmy carter would attend first through 11th grade. her first memory of going to

and when jimmy left, when i left on sunday, the day they came back, jimmy said is either today or not. we're just going to have to end it. and we had -- we opened the white house -- we had pbs did our events for a while. and i cannot remember who was there that day i had to come in. i had to come in and introduce them. i got a call about halfway through it or something. about halfway through the concert. and jimmy told me he thought they had the budget not tell anybody. he didn't know for sure. that was interesting. when they came in that night, the helicopter landed. it was dark. dusk or dark. they came in and mrs. begin and i were standing in the blue room when they came in and prime minister begin went straight to her. "mama, we're going to go down in history for this." it was really thrilling. >> do you think we will see rosalynn carter camp david accords diary book sometime? >> we might. there is actually, i guess it is all right for me to tell us. there is going to be a play in washington. opening in a theater in washington in camp david. early next year, i think. >> will you be

[ laughter ] >> jimmy: i love it. you got to love mom and dad. >> wearing promotional stuff that, like, i've sent home saying, "you can't wear this." >> jimmy: oh, yeah. like a shirt that says "mike and molly" or something like that. yeah, my mom will wear, like, a "weekend update" shirt. you can't wear that when i'm with you. it's so weird. [ laughter ] um, yeah. it's cute, though. >> they're proud. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, proud parents. well, "mike and molly," fourth season. >> i know. >> jimmy: i'm going to play the role of your dad. [ cheers and applause ] "mike and molly" is back for the fourth season. >> yes. thank you. >> jimmy: my daughter's in "mike and molly." >> he's going to get a megaphone, and then i'm going to be done. >> jimmy: yeah. he'll get like a megaphone and a sandwich board and just walk up and down. have you seen this episode of "mike and molly"? >> it's coming. it's coming. but yeah, it's been so incredibly fun this year. and we had -- susan sarandon came on. and we have kathy bates, for the love

. >> i walked jimmy to school. he was very nervous. >> reporter: do you remember your first day of school? >> i didn't like it. >> reporter: you walked into that school not speaking a word of english. >> no. i knew just hello and that's it. >> reporter: you said to jimmy, "you will survive this." >> oh, yes. >> reporter: it will get better. >> it will get better. >> it will get better. >> reporter: this boy came to america with big dreams, of playing soccer, of college one day. one of his first trips, to nasa, with his new parents. this is the young face of the boy who was also getting help at school. there was an english teacher assigned to give him that extra help with his classes. 28-year-old kathryn camille murray, who was married. some of the boys thought ms. murray was pretty. do you remember the first time you met her? >> yes. >> reporter: was she nice? >> yes, she was nice. she started helping me with my home work. >> reporter: he found comfort in her classroom. you would take all your other classes and the

i'm jimmy justice. >> but the man who calls himself jimmy justice won't back down. >> they're afraid of me. >> you're not allowed to do that. >> and they're afraid of my video camera. >> what are you doing? move away from the vehicle. >> i'm filming you breaking the law. >> his goal -- to bring justice, vigilante justice, to the streets of new york, streets on which he says he sees a double standard. >> everybody else gets summonsed the second they break the law. you're in a "no-standing" zone. it's a bus stop. >> so what? >> you would give a ticket to somebody else that did that? >> yes. >> but the people writing those summonses drive around the city like cowboys and do whatever they want, with impunity. and i wanted to bring justice. i wanted to level the playing field. >> it all begins in 2005. a fuse is lit when jimmy justice sees a traffic agent make a u-turn over a double yellow line. in his mind, an obvious violation of the law. he starts reporting the violations he sees to law enforcement by taking still photos. but he says his complaints go nowhere. so he comes up with a pla

except for jimmy keene. keene's story of strange redemption was featured in a "playboy" article and then a book written by keene and hillel levin. >> once we were able to write about what jimmy went through, then things happened. >> keene's story refocused attention on larry hall, helped reopen cold cases, and put pressure on his twin brother gary. now gary stopped defending larry and started talking. >> larry just like jimmy keene calls him, and he is. he's a baby killer. >> you think your brother is a baby killer? >> i don't have no doubt in my mind. >> do you think your brother killed more than jessica roach? >> yes. >> do you think your brother killed tricia reitler? >> yes. >> rihanna rison? michelle dewey? >> yes. >> as gary started talking more openly, detectives approached him asking for help. >> i went with the indianapolis detectives down to try to get my brother to confess. he made me leave the room. he did in fact confess on tape to 15 serial murders. >> larry later retracted again. and while he

except for jimmy keene.ne's story of strange redemption was featured in a "playboy" article and then a book written by keene and hillel levin. >> once we were able to write about what jimmy went through, then things happened. >> keene's story refocused attention on larry hall, helped reopen cold cases, and put pressure on his twin brother gary. now gary stopped defending larry and started talking. >> larry just like jimmy keene calls him, and he is. he's a baby killer. >> you think your brother is a baby killer? >> i don't have no doubt in my mind. >> do you think your brother killed more than jessica roach? >> yes. >> do you think your brother killed tricia reitler? >> yes. >> rihanna rison? michelle dewey? >> yes. >> as gary started talking more openly, detectives approached him asking for help. >> i went with the indianapolis detectives down to try to get my brother to confess. he made me leave the room. he did in fact confess on tape to 15 serial murders. >> larry later retracted again. and while he can'