please welcome paul bettany.o see you. >> jimmy: everything all right with you. >> little anxious. because nothing funny has happened to men the two years since i last saw you. well, actually, no, one thing happened -- the other day my friend rung me up. he had been in the restaurant with his 9-year-old daughter. she had just called the waiter a douche bag. and he had asked her, where, where did you learn such a word as douche bag. she said, oh, uncle paul. >> jimmy: really. >> he said, well, in what context, did he call -- who did he call a douche bag? she said he didn't call anybody a douche bag. he just told us what it meant. he went, oh, really. so what did he say it meant? apparently, i said, well, you know it's like a [ bleep ] or [ bleep ]. but you will know one when you meet one. and she did. [ cheers and applause ] i'm not proud of it. >> jimmy: is he upset with you? i guess he couldn't have been that upset? >> he is the worst parent i ever met in my life. >> jimmy: your lovely wife, jennifer connolly wa

from "transcendence," paul bettany. and music from sam smith. with cleto and the cleotones. and now, here's jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for -- for being here on this -- night. very nice. i -- i know what you are wondering and the answer is no, i cannot help you got a queen elsa dress for your daughter. though i do work for disney. have you heard about the queen elsa dresses, the snow queen, a character from frozen, apparently demand for an official queen elsa dress which retails for $20. it's -- a children's costume, so crazy, people are bidding $1,600 for them on e-bay. so, $1,600. if you spend $1,46 for a disney princess dress. how does that work? does that make you a good parent or terrible parent? i'm not sure. it's crazy. light blue, polyester dress, with ahiny white cape. half the guys on hollywood boulevard are wearing polyester dresses and a cape right now. not that you need advice from me. but your kid wants you to spend two week salary on a disney dress. the perfect opportunity to teach her the meaning of the

from "transcendence," paul bettany. and music from sam smith. with cleto and the cleotones.re's jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for -- for

and on thursday seth macfarlane, paul bettany, music from sam smith and we have something fun planneds too. our first guest is a preposterously funny man who entertains, delights and impregnates everywhere he goes. you can hear him in the new movie "rio 2" starting friday and his new standup special "tracy morgan: bona fide" premieres april 20th on comedy central. please welcome tracy morgan. >> jimmy: tracy. you don't have to, you are not, you don't have to be blindfolded for this. this segment. this is a blindfold free segment. >> you haven't told me to take it off yet. >> jimmy: you can take it off. >> i follow instructions. >> jimmy: thank you for following instructions. how are you doing? >> i am good. >> you want these back. you can keep those. they're yours. yeah, souvenir. >> we will use these. these go perfect with my black leather mask with the zipper in the back. >> jimmy: the last time you were here, you just had a baby girl, just had a daughter. >> who? when? what? me, i just had a baby girl. >> jimmy: how old is sunny. >> 9 months. just had a beautiful baby girl. i also

tomorrow night, seth macfarlane will be here, as will paul bettany.om sam smith. and newly-anointed espys host drake has a surprise for us too. so join us then. >> jimmy: our first guest has leaped from the cover of the sports illustrated swimsuit issue right onto the big screen. she stars alongside cameron diaz and leslie mann, she stars as one of the other women in "the other woman," opening in theatres april 25th. please welcome kate upton. >> jimmy: good to see you. thank you for coming. >> good to see you. >> jimmy: you got back from germany. in germany, yes. >> the whole thing has been a whirlwind. i flew in from germany, i think yesterday. >> jimmy: for the movie you went over there. >> yeah, a whole european tour. >> jimmy: got you have you been to germany before? >> yes, i used to go there twice a month every month for two years. >> jimmy: twice a month. >> when i first started modeling. 15, 16. went over to germany. >> jimmy: who did you go with? >> my mom went a few times with me. then at the end of it she would be look you are going to do

and later this week seth macfarlane, kate upton, paul bettany, cole hauser, and music from sam smithapril 18th. please welcome johnny depp. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] well, thank you for coming. >> thank you for having me. >> jimmy: they're excited. i'm excited. and i hate to start things off negatively or awkwardly. but last time you were here we kissed a few times. i felt like we really hit it off. >> right. >> jimmy: we had a few laughs together. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] it really seemed like we had some chemistry. and then the next thing i know i hear you're engaged. and i get no call or -- not even a text. it's just -- it was rude is what it was. [ laughter ] to come in, to do that and then to just disappear. >> i know. >> jimmy: anything you want to say? >> yeah, i know, i know. i feel -- i feel bad about it. >> jimmy: you do feel bad about it. [ laughter ] >> but i also feel like between you and i it's kind of an anything goes sort of thing. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i like the way you think. >> you know what i mean? >> jimmy: so i'm not out, then

we'll talk with paul bettany and rebecca hall coming up. >> old journalism professor. >> congratulationsd me in tears. really meant a lot. >> it was awesome. and everyone said the same thing, you're the best kind of leader. you're the one that leads by example. i was really proud. >> i love you, my darling. don't make me cry again. >> meantime, natalie is running in monday's boston marathon as a part of our year-long rise to shine a light campaign. you've been training for months for that, in support of victims of the bombing and patients in need of prosthetic limbs. >> thanks to the generosity of our viewers, it's unbelievable, we have raised to date more than $48,000. incredible. and this morning, we are adding to that. thank you, guys. thank you, everyone. so much for your donations. we're adding to that, though, because i'm wearing this, these awesome custom shoes from adidas. with these inspirational tweets all along them. you see "boston strong." incredible messages of inspiration. i'm going to be reading them as i run. >> you might trip. >> adidas has agreed to add to that amount,

paul bettany. great cast. all fantastic.to stop this thing? >> well, it's not -- not an easy thing to do, because in order to stop it, you've got to shut the world down. think about that. >> in a sense create y2k. >> y2k was phony. >> a walk in the park compared to what happens in this movie. let me ask you, are you a technology guy? what is the one piece of technology you couldn't live without? >> you know, that's a strong statement. there is nothing technologically here that i couldn't live without. as long as i could get to the woods. [ laughter ] >> gps? >> no. >> you don't need it. >> okay, what technology should be banished from the earth? >> oh, heavens. now you've got me. i have no idea. whatever technology we're using to drill for oil. >> interesting. not only do we see you in all of these great and different roles, we hear your voice everywhere. did you ever think -- you know, in my career, my voice is going to be its own bankable asset? >> absolutely not. never did. had no idea that that would happen. but, knock o