two weeks ago my good friend, my dear friend, amy poehler -- you all know amy poehler, the incrediblyamy poehler. [ cheers and applause ] she and i went to dinner. the bill came. we split the bill. we each put our credit cards in. the bill came back. we signed our checks. we left. to, uh -- like, the beginning of this week i paid for a dinner thinking i still have my credit card. turns out i took hers. so, i immediately feel terrible because i paid for a couple meals with her credit card. so, i text her, "hey, i have your credit card and you have my credit card." and all she writes back is, "i just bought a boat." [ laughter ] so. ha ha, very funny. i put my -- i t her credit card and money, the money i spent on dinner, in an envelope and i messenger it to her apartment. assuming that then she'll messenger my credit card back. but instead all she does is she texts me a photo of her holding both credit cards and the money with #upperhand. [ laughter ] then yesterday i get my credit card bill. and i look, and like, i felt bad about having two meals. she checked into a hotel with her who

from hillary clinton to amy poehler to mary j. blige, celebrities shouting out to bring back our girls after nearly 300 students are kidnapped from their school by gunmen. tonight tonight, millions joining the fight to bring them home safe. >>> but first, the "nightline" five. >>> good evening and thanks for joining us. i'm rebecca jarvis. taking revenge on a cheating lover used to require at least some degree of energy. but not anymore. tonight we're going behind the scenes of an extremely controversial new website, a place where anyone betrayed in love can expose and humiliate, raising pressing new questions about fairness and privacy in the digital age. here's abc's linsey davis. >> i really, really am sorry about it. i really am. >> reporter: dana scott's tears and apologies were not enough for the woman who claims dana almost ruined her marriage by having a year and a half affair with her husband. >> if dana can't handle the humiliation of all this, then you shouldn't have slept with someone else's husband. >> reporter: insul

and what happened was i went to dinner with amy poehler, my dear friend amy poehler.lause ] give it up for amy poehler, although you might want to take that applause back when you hear how she's been behaving. because we went to dinner. we split the bill. we each paid with our credit cards. we have the same credit card. the same type of credit card. and i realized a week later that i have her credit card which meant that she had mine. i felt bad because i had a couple meals on her credit card. so i texted her. "hey, i have your credit card. you have mine." and she wrote back, "i just bought a boat." so i returned her credit card. i sent it over to her apartment. i assumed she would send mine to me. she has not. she's been taking photos of it with her and my credit card in different places. very frustrating. i am going to see her tonight. we're gonna be at a charity event. and i knew that today she was with tina fey. the great tina fey. and i'm very happy about that. [ applause ] because tina is a really responsible person. and i feel like she would impress upon amy th

this is amy poehler, your old friend and enemy. hi. i am amy poehler.book needs to have, apparently, i've been told. hi, i'm amy poehler, and we are on the set of -- this is my house. hello, "today" show. i am amy poehler, and we are on the set of my photo shoot for my new book "yes, please," which i'm very excited about and hope you all read and buy and give as presents and then buy again. something like that? you guys are good? all right, cool. >> amy poehler. thank you. "yes, please" the is name of the book. got a check of the weather. >> i do. show you what we got going on. pollen forecast, medium high through the plains, upstate new york. medium through a good portion of the country. low where it's raining a lot through the gulf coast. for the day today, we are looking at a risk of strong storms in the lower gulf coast. also in the plains, some wet weather in the pacific northwest. sunny and mild in l.a. 79 degrees today. plenty of sunshine through the southeast. then for tomorrow, we've got more wet weather making its way into the northeast. also

so this story yesterday, amy poehler, my dear friend amy poehler was in town in town.new york city. we went out to dinner two weeks ago and when the bill came we each paid with our credit cards. we split the bill. and my, the bills came back. we took our credit cards and i was paying for dinner a couple nights ago and i look at the credit card. i have amy's credit card. we had taken each other credit cards. so i contact her and i let her know we have each other's credit card. the first thing she does, is she texts me, "i just bought a boat." [ laughter ] and we make a plan and the plan is, i am going to put her credit card and the money i spent on dinner into an envelope and have it messenger to her apartment and then she will in turn have my credit card in an envelope for the messenger to bring it back to me. the messenger comes back, no, there is nothing for me. instead, poehler an hour later texts me a photo of herself holding the money and both credit cards -- [ cheers and applause ] -- with the hashtag upperhand. [ light laughter ] so she has the upper hand on me

i don't know if you've been watching the show, but three weeks ago, myself and the great amy poehlerinner. and we went out to dinner and we split the bill. and we each -- we have the same kind of credit card. we paid with our credit cards and we accidentally took each other's credit cards. i, being a good citizen, immediately returned her credit card. she has been going on a three-week spending spree. [ light laughter ] so, last night we were at a charity event together. we were there at this great event called lol for los to raise money for leukemia research and lymphoma research. and we were there with all these great comedians. nick kroll, judah friedlander. tina fey was there, john mulaney. bleachers was the band. it was a great night. and i knew i was going to see amy there, so i knew i could get back my credit card. and when i got there, amy, she was on stage. and she told -- she knew i was there and she told this audience of wonderful people who paid to be there that she would like to make a $5,000 donation in her name on my card. so round of applause to the audience, very exc

. >> seth: and i remember at snl, both amy poehler and rachel dratch were huge fans of yours. >> yeahst show it to all of us. but you at the time didn't know -- >> no. i was like a struggling comedian doing live shows in new york, and doing these videos and putting them on youtube and thinking, "no one knows me. no one likes this." and then years later, i found out people like you and amy and paul rudd were watching my videos, and i didn't know until years later. so, you never know who's watching. and i am so angry now, because i was like depressed and starving for ten years. and friggin' amy poehler took five years to pick up a phone. [ laughter and applause ] i had no health insurance! >> seth: so you had -- we're right down the hall from snl. you had a brush with snl when you were very -- when you were a young man. >> yes. i emphasize a brush! >> seth: tell us about this brush. >> this is an amazing story, actually. i've never told on it tv. i'm so excited. i was a child actor in new york and i was a really fat, obese, gay jewish kid. [ cheers and applause ] really fat, okay? and i

two weeks ago amy poehler and i go out to dinner. my old friend, the great amy poehler.bill. we each pay with our credit cards. we split the bill. and then it turns out -- i realize two weeks later -- i've her credit card. which means she has had my credit card for two weeks. so, i am the responsible one. i call her. i go, "hey, you have my credit card. i have your credit card. i'm going to messenger it over with the money that i've spent in the last two weeks and put on your credit card." and she said, "great, i'll send back your credit card." but she didn't do that. instead, she sent me a picture of her holding both credit cards and the money -- [ laughter ] -- with the hashtag, "upper hand." [ laughter ] so, now it's wednesday. not only do i not have my credit card -- i looked at my credit card bills. she stayed in a hotel with my credit card. and i have to say to these people at hotels, how is this happening? no wonder there's identity theft when a blonde woman is checking in with seth meyers' credit card and you're just letting that happen. [ laughter ] so i just wa

melissa says i thought we as a country collectively agreed that tina fey and amy poehler should hosthould. they would kill. someone on twitter said they thought you should host. after i saw this footage this morning, i have to say i agree. look at those dance moves. >> i know. if this was being a good dancer. >> now you spin. oh yeah, baby. if it was about being a good dancer, i would tear it up there at if white house correspondence dinner. since it's about being funny, i should not do it ever again. thanks for that embarrassing moment. they run the cameras when you're not looking. oh my gosh, the stories you're going to be talking about in the days ahead. morning joe. [ female announcer ] every box of general mills big g cereals can help your kids' school get extra stuff. they're the only cereals with box tops for education. you can raise money for your kids' school. look for this logo. only on big g cereals. you can make a difference. every cereal box counts. a short word that's a tall order. up your game. up the ante. and if you stumble, you get back up. up isn't easy, and we oug

. >>> other celebrities like amy poehler and chris brown are winning support on twitter. bring back our girls is a worldwide social media campaign with more than a million tweets being published using that hash tag. meanwhile nigerian police are offering a $300,000 reward for information leading to the rescue of the kidnapped girls. the u.s., china, canada have offered to help free the girls. >>> secretary eric shinseki is facing calls for his resignation after claims that veterans have been mistreated at va hospitals. let's get right to tracie potts in washington. shinseki indicated he is not going anywhere. what is he doing about these allegations? >> he's got the inspector general on it. he wants to wait for that report to see where they go next. shinseki is a decorated veteran himself, a four-star general. even the american legion which wants him out said he is applauded for his service, however, they think this was a problem from the top down. >> whistle blowers claim thousands of requests were diverted to a secret list and records were destroyed. >> i am angry. >> r

. >> while he recovers from his laughing spell, that was bradley cooper and amy poehler.y" says they're trying to get the entire cast to return including janeane garofalo and paul rudd. reports they would play high school age characters despite the fact that they're all mostly in their 40s but they look young, though, the way they're dressed up. are you all right, thomas? anyway -- we mentioned earlier in the show that we couldn't resist showing you more of this video called kids react to computers. >> today you are reacting to this. >> what is this? >> this is very -- >> type in to the keyboard to get it to do anything. >> so if i type in games, hit return. error. >> error. >> this computer isn't an error. >> there was no internet back then. >> what? >> how do you like look up homework. >> but to the library. >> who wants to do that. >> they call that a floppy disk. >> it is floppy. >> yes. >> oh, i don't like it. >> it works at least. >> this is not better than floppy bird. >> i don't get it and don't get the 1970s. >> hard to believe there was no internet. iry sitting

correspondents' association we've never had a female comedian do this dinner, maybe next year, tina fey, amy poehlerneres. >> would be fantastic. >> i know that obviously you're watching, we're talking about what's funny and what wasn't. was there something that sort of struck you. >> there was some truth to what was going on there that night. because i actually got a call from wolf blitzer. wolf said, can you help me find my table? and i thought, you know, maybe i can help him. i looked over at who was with me. i was looking for our table, actually. but i was in washington, d.c. up at the north route. so i was with the ambassador from bangladesh looking for it up there. i told him we probably won't be able to help him. >> we know wolf didn't really call you. >> right. >> playing off the joke about trying to find a table, trying to find the plane. what about the president going at the media. is that pretty risky, ryan? >> there's two tracks for the precedence, self-deprecating humor otherwise you get attacked for not making fun of yourself. obama likes to weave in with his self-deprecating humor bas

. >> seth: we were actually with mike schur and amy poehler -- we watched the red sox win the world seriesllies fan. >> seth: you're a big phillies fan. and now you have daughters -- >> i have two daughters. one is old enough to play baseball. and i was very excited. she's playing little league now. in fact, i just got a text that she came home from practice because she got bonked in the head with the ball. and there was the stitch marks of the ball on her -- [ audience ohs ] anyway, i'm here. we're having fun. [ laughter ] but she's playing baseball, and i'm so excited for her to play baseball. and she's generally athletic and stuff. but i realize, like, no one in our house watches baseball anymore. so, she has no idea what's happening. someone will hit a ball to, like, the shortstop. and then she's sort of standing like two feet away, not on a base, going like, "throw it to me!" then i'm like, "why would he throw it to you? that's insane!" >> seth: so have you turned into the crazy little league mom? >> i have. first of all, i tried to teach her, like, "okay, let's watch a mets/phillies

former secretary of state hillary clinton and celebrity like amy poehler and mary j blige taken to 20thto the kidnappings. karen abc news washington. >> another girl who knows what it is like to stare in the face of evil and survive. tl posted this picture on instagram with the hash tag bring back our girls. >> civilian diver searching for victims of the south korean ferry disaster has died. officials say the diver was pulled to the surface after fellow divers lost communication with him. he had passed out. diver was rushed to hospital where he was pronounced dead. the ferry disaster left 260 people dead with about 40 others still missing. >> residents evacuated by a maim wildfire in oklahoma returning to survey the damage tonight. 1,000 people left the homes yesterday in oklahoma. 35 miles north of oklahoma city. it has burned more than 3000 acres at this point and now 75 percent contained but destroyed at least 60 homes. >> this is my life. i'm 67 years old. lack at it. can you tell me what was in the home. >> flames killed 56-year-old man who refused to evacuate his house. several re

former secretary of state hillary clinton and celebrities like amy poehler and mary j.er to bring attention to the kidnappings. in a videotape released yesterday, the leader of the extremist group threatened to sell the missing girls and abduct more. john and diana. >> karen travers, thank you for that. >>> we know the reason the air traffic control system in southern california malfunctioned last week. a u-2 spy plane, the faa says airport computers were not able to process the spy plane's flight plan and the software became overwhelmed. hundreds of planes across the nation headed for southern california were ordered not to take off as an air traffic control facility had to be rebooted. >>> a small plane towing an advertising banner developed engine trouble and crashed into a house north of denver. no one home at the time. although the plane caught fire, the pilot was uninjured. he found a garden hose and tried to put out the flames but had to back off when it was too hot. the pilot was aiming for a nearby field. he was unable to reach it. >>> three base jumpers will b

i told the story, amy poehler and i were out to dinner like two weeks ago.the bill for dinner and we ended up with each other's credit cards. i returned hers with the money for the things i had bought. she has not returned mine. every time i ask her to return it she sends me a photo of her holding it in, like a store. [ laughter ] i'm going to see her tomorrow night at a charity event, so hopefully we'll sort everything out. it was a very quiet weekend on the credit card front. and i know this is a thing that people only say in movies, but i actually thought it for the first time. it was almost too quiet. [ laughter ] i was a little worried. we talked on this show, we've had a lot of, fred and my old friends from "snl" have been on. we talked about doing something called "second chance theater" where old "snl" cast members will come out and they'll talk about a sketch that either got cut at dress rehearsal or never went past the read-through table. and we're gonna give them a chance to mount it here on our show, and will forte is booked for our first "second

other celebrities like amy pole a poehler and chris brown are lending their support as well. there are more than a million tweets being published using the hash tag. nigerian police are offering a $300,000 reward for information leading to the rescue of the kidnapped girls. the u.s., china, canada and other countries have offered help to free the girls. >>> eric shinseki is facing calls for resignation. this comes amid allegations that some veterans have been ignored, neglected, undertreated and mistreated at va hospitals sometimes with fatal consequences. let's get right to nbc's tracie potts in washington. tracie, good morning. shinseki is indicating he's not going anywhere. so what is he doing about these allegations? >> reporter: well, right now he's waiting to see what the inspector general has to say. keep in mind shinseki himself is a decorated veteran, a four star general before he took over at veterans affairs. and even though veterans say they respect his patriotism, his sacrifice for the country, the largest veterans group in this country wants him out. whistle-blo

movie coming out august 22 that i made during the show, with owen winston -- with owen wilson and amy poehler. that will be in between the seasons. i have written a play. i am probably going to take a on myigh and see what is mind. i need a sabbatical or something. it has been very time-consuming. sorry. >> it is just a pleasure to talk to a person who is writing tv shows, who is writing delmar schwartz and alan ginsburg into his tv shows. i am just watching matt with a little rhapsody. you think of do matthew's answer about why we are at this point? differente bit of a one. probably just a different perspective i come from. -- i think we actually -- i actually do believe that when you write us -- and matt redeemed when you write something because you are interested in it and you do not write it for the market, you probably write differently. and you write something that is different. and it is not from the intention of, i am going to bring it to market. in the business environment, that sounds like a bad thing, but it is a good thing. and it is unique and has not been done much on television

coming out august 22 that i made during the show, with with owen wilson, zach galifianakis, and amy poehler. called "you are here." that will be in between the seasons. i have written a play. i am probably going to take a nice sigh and see what is on my mind. we were just talking about this. i need a sabbatical or something. it has been very time-consuming. sorry. >> it is just a pleasure to talk to a person who is writing tv shows, who is writing delmar schwartz and alan ginsburg into his tv shows. not everyone is aware of them. i am just watching matt with a little rhapsody. >> josh, what do you think of matthew's answer about why we are at this point? >> i guess i have a little bit of a different one. probably just a different perspective i come from. i think that -- i think we actually -- i actually do believe that when you write stuff, and matt redeemed us -- when you write something because you are interested in it and you do not write it for the market, you probably write differently. and you write something that is different. and it is not from the intention of, i am going to bring

we were learning to be comedians at the upright citizens brigade theater which is a theater that amy poehler and robert founded in the new year in new york city there's also one here in los angeles as well yeah. yeah exactly at improv and sketch kind of comedy and so we were the only two girls in sweater sets at the theater and so i thought during the basement the something very wrong with her and it turns out there was and so we instantly fell in love. when we did another show before this and we've just been kind of writing together for a while and we were in our brainstorming process we both came to the table in my living room actually we were like watching oprah's favorites we d.v.r. didn't even know why he's i've never larry we watched five minutes and it will never end it will never end will never end. and you know you won't kind of and it was. and so i just we've gone through all our ideas and just was like i did have one crazy idea that maybe like you and i should raise a baby together because i expended eighteen hours a day that is the best idea i've ever heard and then the idea is k