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May 22, 2014
05/14
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. ♪ dahhhhh! [ gps ] turn left now... where are we exactly? i don't know. was listening to your gps. i don't have a gps... destination ahead... you have reached your destination... ♪ dahhhhh! [ male announcer ] crazy good! what is this place? where are we? this is where we bring together the fastest internet and the best in entertainment. we call it the x1 entertainment operating system. it looks like the future! he has a phaser! it's not a phaser! it's my phone! he can use his voice to control the tv. you can use your woice? my voice. your woice. my voice. "vuh," voice. his voice. your woice? look. watch sci-fi. [ female announcer ] the x1 entertainment operating system, only from xfinity. >> welcome back, everybody thank you so much. nation, i have some bad news, we are on the brink of an epidemic it if you are's not watching this show right now it is probably because you're already dead. a dangerous new infectious disease is spreading across america, it's called mers and it's already infectioned our tv news. >> the mers virus that broke out in the middle
. ♪ dahhhhh! [ gps ] turn left now... where are we exactly? i don't know. was listening to your gps. i don't have a gps... destination ahead... you have reached your destination... ♪ dahhhhh! [ male announcer ] crazy good! what is this place? where are we? this is where we bring together the fastest internet and the best in entertainment. we call it the x1 entertainment operating system. it looks like the future! he has a phaser! it's not a phaser! it's my phone! he can use his voice to...
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May 23, 2014
05/14
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. ♪ dahhhhh! [ gps ] turn left now... where are we exactly? i don't know. listening to your gps. i don't have a gps... destination ahead... you have reached your destination... ♪ dahhhhh! [ male announcer ] crazy good! to pitch in for an industrial-sized smoker. before earning 1% cash back everywhere, every time. and 2% back at the grocery store. even before he got 3% back on gas. all with no hoops to jump through. norm used his bankamericard cash rewards credit card to enter the bbq masters invitational. where he smoked 40 pounds of ribs and the competition. that's the satisfaction of rewarding connections. apply online or at a bank of america near you. whon a certified pre-ownedan unlimitedmercedes-benz?nty what does it mean to drive as far as you want... for up to three years and be covered? it means your odometer... is there to record the memories. during the mercedes-benz certified pre-owned sales event now through june 2nd, you'll get complimentary pre-paid maintenance and may qualify for a two-month payment credit. only at your authorized mercedes-be
. ♪ dahhhhh! [ gps ] turn left now... where are we exactly? i don't know. listening to your gps. i don't have a gps... destination ahead... you have reached your destination... ♪ dahhhhh! [ male announcer ] crazy good! to pitch in for an industrial-sized smoker. before earning 1% cash back everywhere, every time. and 2% back at the grocery store. even before he got 3% back on gas. all with no hoops to jump through. norm used his bankamericard cash rewards credit card to enter the bbq...
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697
May 22, 2014
05/14
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. ♪ dahhhhh! [ gps ] turn left now... where are we exactly? i don't know.as listening to your gps. i don't have a gps... destination ahead... you have reached your destination... ♪ dahhhhh! [ male announcer ] crazy good! you have reached your destination... nehey!r! [squeals] ♪ [ewh!] [baby crying] the great thing about a subaru is you don't have to put up with that new car smell for long. the versatile, 2015 subaru forester. love. it's what makes a subaru, >> welcome back, everybody thank you so much. nation, i have some bad news, we are on the brink of an epidemic it if you are's not watching this show right now it is probably because you're already dead. a dangerous new infectious disease is spreading across america, it's called mers and it's already infectioned our tv news. >> the mers virus that broke out in the middle east has now for the first time spread from one person to another in the united states. apparently through a handshake. >> the symptoms include fever, cough and shortness of breath. >> a creeping, contagious and potentially deadly respir
. ♪ dahhhhh! [ gps ] turn left now... where are we exactly? i don't know.as listening to your gps. i don't have a gps... destination ahead... you have reached your destination... ♪ dahhhhh! [ male announcer ] crazy good! you have reached your destination... nehey!r! [squeals] ♪ [ewh!] [baby crying] the great thing about a subaru is you don't have to put up with that new car smell for long. the versatile, 2015 subaru forester. love. it's what makes a subaru, >> welcome back,...
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May 21, 2014
05/14
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. ♪ dahhhhh! [ male announcer ] crazy good!ing ] [ wind howling ] a new mint flavor that intensifies as you chew. new 5 ascent gum. stimulate your senses. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody! thank you so much! folks, back in the a block, i was talking about the internet. i love it. (laughter) never in human history have we had access to such a vast compendium of knowledge to ignore while we criticize photos of ben affleck as batman. nice cat ears. but the internet also has a dark side. it remembers every shameful thing you've ever done and that has hurt a lot of good people, also anthony weiner. even i am not immune. i recently glueingled myself and found some very disturbing old photos. i mean, what if my children stumble across that and find out i used to be a child! my children would lose all respect for me! you can't make me clean my room, you're just some old kid! (laughter) luckily, the european union has pioneered the answer. >> you have the right to be forgotten. that's what the e.u. court told go
. ♪ dahhhhh! [ male announcer ] crazy good!ing ] [ wind howling ] a new mint flavor that intensifies as you chew. new 5 ascent gum. stimulate your senses. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody! thank you so much! folks, back in the a block, i was talking about the internet. i love it. (laughter) never in human history have we had access to such a vast compendium of knowledge to ignore while we criticize photos of ben affleck as batman. nice cat ears. but the internet...
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May 23, 2014
05/14
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. ♪ dahhhhh! [ male announcer ] crazy good! ♪ one night to save the day.ion... ♪ we'll show them all. ♪ let's go. ♪ we'll show them all, let's go, go, go... ♪ ♪ we'll show them all. they import intense juiciness from the land of intensity. get this intense juiciness to starburst! you know i will! have a pleasant day! thank you! get back to work! [ female announcer ] starburst. unexplainably juicy. ( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: welcome back, everybody, thanks so much. folks, i don't know about you, but i for one cannot wait for the 2016 presidential elections because the potential republican candidates are an embarrassment of riches, as opposed to 2012 candidates, a rich embarrassment superpower and i'm especially intrigued by florida senator and a man legally old enough to be president, marco rubio. of course, when it comes to republicans, the media ask-stapo is always playing you its gotcha games. but rubio is no rube e-o. >> young voters have asked me and they're curious to know. have you ever smoked marijuana? >> you know why i never answer that
. ♪ dahhhhh! [ male announcer ] crazy good! ♪ one night to save the day.ion... ♪ we'll show them all. ♪ let's go. ♪ we'll show them all, let's go, go, go... ♪ ♪ we'll show them all. they import intense juiciness from the land of intensity. get this intense juiciness to starburst! you know i will! have a pleasant day! thank you! get back to work! [ female announcer ] starburst. unexplainably juicy. ( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: welcome back, everybody, thanks so much....
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May 23, 2014
05/14
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you have reached your destination... ♪ dahhhhh! [ male announcer ] crazy good! have reached your destination... are so soft, chewy, and filled with their fruity selves... they think this world isn't big enough for the both of them. but we assure you - it is. bites. little greatness. >> jon: hey, welcome back to the show! last week, india elected a new prime minister, narendra modi. tonight, jason jones files his final report from india, examining this new leader. ♪ >> in a crushing defeat to its incumbent party, india has chosen a new leader, but there's only one question the american media has about the new prime minister, narendra modi. >> what if anything does the u.s. have to fear from this man? >> a conservative, hindu nationalist. >> an ugly past. the authoritarian mode. you wouldn't want to make an enemy of this man. >> according to us, india just elected this guy -- (screaming) but even indian journalists still have unanswered questions. >> i would like to ask narendra modi why hasn't he held himself truly accountable. i would like to believe that if 1,0
you have reached your destination... ♪ dahhhhh! [ male announcer ] crazy good! have reached your destination... are so soft, chewy, and filled with their fruity selves... they think this world isn't big enough for the both of them. but we assure you - it is. bites. little greatness. >> jon: hey, welcome back to the show! last week, india elected a new prime minister, narendra modi. tonight, jason jones files his final report from india, examining this new leader. ♪ >> in a...
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. ♪ dahhhhh! [ gps ] turn left now... where are we exactly? i don't know. listening to your gps. i don't have a gps... destination ahead... you have reached your destination... ♪ dahhhhh! [ male announcer ] crazy good! ♪ you have reached your destination... let mom shine. thirty percent off our best gifts for mom now through sunday. at zales. break the ice, with breath freshening cooling crystals. ice breakers. i live in a luxury penthouse overlooking central park. when the guests arrive, they're greeted by my butler, larry. my helipad is being re-surfaced so tonight we travel by more humble means. at my country club, we play parlor games with members of the royal family. yes i am rich. that's why i drink the champagne of beers. on car insurance. everybody knows that. well, did you know that game show hosts should only host game shows? samantha, do you take kevin as your lawfully wedded husband... or would you rather have a new caaaaaar!!!! say hello to the season's hottest convertible... ohhh....and say goodbye to samantha. [ male announcer ] geico. 15 min
. ♪ dahhhhh! [ gps ] turn left now... where are we exactly? i don't know. listening to your gps. i don't have a gps... destination ahead... you have reached your destination... ♪ dahhhhh! [ male announcer ] crazy good! ♪ you have reached your destination... let mom shine. thirty percent off our best gifts for mom now through sunday. at zales. break the ice, with breath freshening cooling crystals. ice breakers. i live in a luxury penthouse overlooking central park. when the guests arrive,...
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May 23, 2014
05/14
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. ♪ dahhhhh! [ male announcer ] crazy good! you have reached your destination...at voice in your head, making sure you sleep through that yoga class. convincing you that one donut hole couldn't possibly lead to another. average. average blames the camera for those extra 10 pounds. ... and sets the treadmill on mosey... or stroll...or loiter. need an excuse? average has 'em all. skip the gym. it'll probably be too crowded anyway. average. yeah, take it easy there, fella. average...has memory issues... (man) i forgot to work out. i forgot to work out. (vo) ...and memory issues. (man) my workout. (vo) it's crowning acheivement? everyone gets a trophy. (trophy) average is good. (boy) average is good. (vo) no. average is average. you can beat it. and it starts at gnc. (cheers and applause) >> jon: we've got a new film called "blended." >> what's going on in the sweater, just for the article. >> no, these are actually from my son. >> wow, what a progressive mother. >> no, i found a center fold under his bed and i tore it up. >> you're here to replace it before the kid f
. ♪ dahhhhh! [ male announcer ] crazy good! you have reached your destination...at voice in your head, making sure you sleep through that yoga class. convincing you that one donut hole couldn't possibly lead to another. average. average blames the camera for those extra 10 pounds. ... and sets the treadmill on mosey... or stroll...or loiter. need an excuse? average has 'em all. skip the gym. it'll probably be too crowded anyway. average. yeah, take it easy there, fella. average...has memory...
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May 22, 2014
05/14
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. ♪ dahhhhh! [ male announcer ] crazy good! and a razor that understands my sensitive skin.tive. more than a strip. an entire ribbon of gliding gels surround 5 comfort-coated blades for less irritation. venus embrace sensitive. a perfect match for sensitive skin. venus embrace sensitive. break the ice, with breath freshening cooling crystals. ice breakers. ♪ killing weeds where they grow ♪ ♪ a barrier forms so weeds can't appear ♪ ♪ serious weed prevention up to a year ♪ ♪ new roundup max control 365 ♪ with no more weeds, it's your year ♪ >> jon: okay. so we're here, we're talking with former secretar secretary f treasury timotny geithner. so this gets into our next element which is the perception amongst the engineers of the bailout that they are being unreasonably castigated. >> no, i don't think it's unreasonable. it was deeply unfair. the rescue itself at its core is a fundamentally unfair thing, except -- >> jon: correct. -- except relative to the alternative of letting the system burn down. >> jon: that seems like a false choice. >> it's not a false choice. >> jon: you
. ♪ dahhhhh! [ male announcer ] crazy good! and a razor that understands my sensitive skin.tive. more than a strip. an entire ribbon of gliding gels surround 5 comfort-coated blades for less irritation. venus embrace sensitive. a perfect match for sensitive skin. venus embrace sensitive. break the ice, with breath freshening cooling crystals. ice breakers. ♪ killing weeds where they grow ♪ ♪ a barrier forms so weeds can't appear ♪ ♪ serious weed prevention up to a year ♪ ♪ new...
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506
May 24, 2014
05/14
by
COM
tv
eye 506
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. ♪ dahhhhh! [ male announcer ] crazy good!applause ). >> stephen: welcome back, everybody, thanks so much. folks, i don't know about you, but i for one cannot wait for the 2016 presidential elections because the potential republican candidates are an embarrassment of riches, as opposed to 2012 candidates, a rich embarrassment superpower and i'm especially intrigued by florida senator and a man legally old enough to be president, marco rubio. of course, when it comes to republicans, the media ask-stapo is always playing you its gotcha games. but rubio is no rube e-o. >> young voters have asked me and they're curious to know. have you ever smoked marijuana? >> you know why i never answer that question? if i tell you i haven't, you won't believe me. >> stephen: yeah, nobody would ever believe this guy's not a stoner. i mean we all saw his nationally televised epic case of cotton mouth. but, rubio can't admit that he's burpd down. he's trying to win over republicans, the party that brought us "just say no, "first as a drugless and
. ♪ dahhhhh! [ male announcer ] crazy good!applause ). >> stephen: welcome back, everybody, thanks so much. folks, i don't know about you, but i for one cannot wait for the 2016 presidential elections because the potential republican candidates are an embarrassment of riches, as opposed to 2012 candidates, a rich embarrassment superpower and i'm especially intrigued by florida senator and a man legally old enough to be president, marco rubio. of course, when it comes to republicans, the...
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. ♪ dahhhhh! [ male announcer ] crazy good! welcome to the toyota time sales event.ooth ride. he's a very light sleeper. oh, the camry's safe and has a smooth, comfortable ride. oh, the camry's perfect. and you're in luck. it's toyota time. so it's a great time for a great deal. [ both ] yes! [ baby crying ] [ male announcer ] during toyota time, get 0% apr financing for 60 months on a 2014.5 camry. offer ends june 2nd. for more great deals, visit toyota.com. [ both sigh ] toyota. let's go places. [ both sigh ] you got mommy a mother's day whpresent?t? oh, i totally agree... she is the best mommy ever. save up to 30% on diamonds in rhythm at kay jewelers, the number-one jewelry store in america. ♪ every kiss begins with kay. ♪ a short word that's a tall order. up your game. up the ante. and if you stumble, you get back up. up isn't easy, and we ought to know. we're in the business of up. everyday delta flies a quarter of million people while investing billions improving everything from booking to baggage claim. we're raising the bar on flying and tomorrow we will up
. ♪ dahhhhh! [ male announcer ] crazy good! welcome to the toyota time sales event.ooth ride. he's a very light sleeper. oh, the camry's safe and has a smooth, comfortable ride. oh, the camry's perfect. and you're in luck. it's toyota time. so it's a great time for a great deal. [ both ] yes! [ baby crying ] [ male announcer ] during toyota time, get 0% apr financing for 60 months on a 2014.5 camry. offer ends june 2nd. for more great deals, visit toyota.com. [ both sigh ] toyota. let's go...