. >> thank you, larry. >> thank you. >> larry: you're welcome. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) ( groan ) i'm starving. we've been compromised! don't let hunger kill your game. hot pockets brings you new snack bites. bite-size hot pockets sandwiches with 100% real cheese. guy's i'm back! new snack bites from... ♪hot pockets♪ when it's time for battle, you need powerful protection. new right guard xtreme heat shield. ♪ ...tested to the extreme. proven to perform. right guard. for the win. ( cheers and applause ). >> larry: welcome back. anyhow, i fell asleep on the couch last night and woke up to this nightmare. seeb has found a new way to exploit the under-privileged for the sake of ratings. it's called "the briefcase." >> what would do you if $101,000 landed on your doorstep? >> larry: okay speaking as a black man, i would think 100k at my front door was a total setup. i'm just saying. i don't trust, that all right. i just don't. something's there. not good. ( applause ) but, sorry i interrupted. pleads continue your pitch. >> each w

. >> thank you, larry. >> thank you. >> larry: you're welcome. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) dear stranger, when i booked this trip, my friends said i was crazy. why would i stay in someone else's house? but this morning a city i've never been to felt like one i already knew. i just wanted to thank you for sharing your world with me. it felt like home. airbnb. belong anywhere. [music playing] this beer... light beer... ...is one of the hardest beers in the world to brew. mainly, because there are no heavy flavors to hide any imperfections. and it just so happens that miller lite has won more gold medals than any other light beer. now there's some bar room trivia for you. it's miller time. when francois thibault said he was going to make vodka in cognac with spring water and the best french wheat. everyone here said... non, non! but little by little the world got to love what he had made. grey goose, francois? the extraordinary belongs to those who make it. ( cheers and applause ). >> larry: welcome back. anyhow, i fell asleep on th

larry wilmore. that was it here is your moment of zen. >> newt gingrich in his gradual rise in the polls has turned into a surge. >> he wasn't the perfect husband did things that were wrongxd asked god's forgiveness. i think a lot o >> larry: tonightly, ben carson announces he's running for president. i haven't heard anything that shaky since jamie foxx tried to sing the national anthem. (laughter) rand paul says he's glad his campaign didn't stop in baltimore. i've got a good idea of where else his campaign won't be stopping. (laughter) and finally... bill nye the science guy is here. we'll probe the science of a grown man still trying to pull off a bow tie. (laughter) no justice, no peace, no "the nightly show"! let's do this! captioning sponsored by comedy central ♪ >> larry: thank you very much! thank you! thank you. thank you! (audience chanting larry) >> larry: oh, that's good! very nice! larry... very good, very good! welcome to the "the nightly show." i'm larry wilmore. we have a great progr

. >> thank you, larry. >> thank you. >> larry: you're welcome. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) every coconut has a dream. to come out of its shell. to show all the world its true, inner beauty. and then, in an ironic twist get covered up by chocolate and almonds. almond joy mounds. what every coconut wants. what brand of makeup... ...is better for your skin... ...than wearing no makeup at all? neutrogena cosmetics. foundations,... ...powders... ...and concealers with skin enhancing vitamins... ...and antioxidants. your skin will look beautiful when you wear it... ...and even after you take it off. neutrogena cosmetics. does your makeup do that? honey, can you make your famous dip for the party? i can do the chores. yeah, sure. okay, i'm going to take the demolition team. no, no, no. hey, hey. come inside, ben is somewhere in the house. ooh! tostitos dip-etizers go from microwave to table in minutes. just heat and enjoy. ( cheers and applause ). >> larry: welcome back. anyhow, i fell asleep on the couch last night and woke up to this

>> larry: who was that? >> jack: larry, that's oprah! >> larry: oprah?only the most famous woman in the world. >> larry: first of all, she doesn't even look like oprah. secondly, she's in a wheelchair! >> jack: yeah, i know. it's kind of sad. i guess after her show got canceled, she hit some hard times. >> larry: look, jack, i think you need to stop making up who people are. have you ever considered asking somebody who they are and just believing them? >> jack: that doesn't sound like journalism, larry. oh! rick james! rick! >> larry: jack, everybody! (cheers and applause) although reporters may have been confusing people, the police were not. now look how the police responded to this black guy who was out past curfew. now, you might say, "well, larry, he's out past curfew, he's wearing a" (bleep) the police" t-shirt, he's walking towards the police... why reason with him? please, please, larry. don't make this about race. i'm sure they treated anyone out past curfew the same. okay, i know you're going to show us a clip of how they treated white curfew b

(audience chanting larry) >> larry: oh, that's good! very nice! larry... very good, very good!elcome to the "the nightly show." i'm larry wilmore. we have a great program tonight. bill nye the science guy the joining us on panel, so that should be a lot of fun. i have a lot of science questions for him. but first, it's time for an election update. roll that beautiful intro! ♪ yeah, it's the unblackening! who's going to try to unblacken us now? >> i'm ben carson, and i'm a candidate for president of the united states. (cheers and applause) (audience booing) >> larry: we're going to re-black? is his whole campaign based on "once you go black you don't go back"? all right. actually, it's perfect timing for dr. ben carson to jump in. black guy, spent the last three decades working in baltimore. he's definitely going to capitalize on all of that to score some points in the community. >> you're obviously in florida right now talking to me. >> larry: florida? is there a baltimore, florida? oh, i get it -- maybe he's in florida to clear his head so he can work on his baltimore strategy

so nice to have you-- >> larry! larry! larry! larry! larry! >> larry: thank you very much. i amular,ular,ular,ular larry. now,ob, we've been covering the freddie gray case this whole week, so last night after the show i decided that, you know we should talk to some actual protesters. so i hopped on a train to baltimore-- this is true-- and of course, as soon as i did this happened. >> in new york city, demonstrators clashed with police. >> more than 100 people were arrested during the protests in manhattan. >> larry: come on, guys! i just left town to go to some protesting. ( laughter ) it's almost like you weren't even thinking about "the nightly show with larry wilmore" at all when you made your "let's start a protest in larry's 'hood" plan. know my scheduled, all right. man. the thing that fascinated me the most was this gang truce. i don't know if you guys heard about it but everybody was talking about it. >> rival gangs it's bloods, crips, and black guerilla gangs-- calling a truce for the first time in history. history. >> larry: you know the cops are running wild whe

captioning sponsored by comedy central ( cheers and applause ) >> larry! larry! larry! larry!hank you very much. welcome to "the nightly show." i'm larry wilmore. joining me on the panel tonight two very funny comedians. the lucas brothers are here. lucas bros. we're doing something a little different tonight. we're very excited about this. i've been noticing so many insane stories in the news i have to cover them so that's why we're calling tonight "thursday cray day." ( cheers and applause ) and help me out. back by popular demand, the nightlytes. ( cheers and applause ) one, two, three, four. ♪ we're ready to sing about topical stuff ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> larry: yeah. that's what i'm talking about, nightlytes. let's jump into it. first cray. >> about one in 15 students at crane high school in west texas recently contracted chlamydia, 20 cases that popped up in the high school's roughly 300 student population. ( laughter ) >> larry: 20 case of chlamydia? kids, this is not what your teacher meant when she said to make your ben franklin project historically accurate. (

i'm larry wilmore. >> larry! larry! larry! larry! larry! larry! >> larry: ramp it up. thank you very much. thank you. man, we have an incredible show for you tonight, tv's ali wentworth is here. fun fact-- we were both flag girls on "in living color." fun fact. author dan savage and a very special visit from morgan freeman who sits down with soul daddy. ( cheers and applause ) really good show. let's get right to it. man, there is big news in the world of wrongfully acquitted unhinged menacing. >> a lot of people still interested in the antics of florida's bad boy, george zimmerman. >> larry: "the antics?" "of florida's bad boy?" the guy murdered an unarmed child. he's not the fonz. ( laughter ) ayyyy. i should be in prison. whoa, whoa. >> this is out of florida. george zimmerman has been shot. >> zimmerman was injured in the face. >> larry: okay, okay. ( cheers ). >> larry: hold on hold on. i know it sounds like george zimmerman got shot in the face, but before anyone gets too excited-- guys guy,s, guys. ( cheers and applause ) confetti cannon. hold your horses. guys!

>> that's offensive larry. >> larry: oh okay. >> i don't find that funny at all. >> larry: i'm sorry, i apologize. >> way to ab negative. ha, ha ha yeah. >> larry: bag of blood everybody we'll be right back. do you suffer from . . . the debilitating condition of jetlag? ♪ ♪ not in this room you don't. ♪ you got it booking right. booking.com booking.yeah. shopping online... ...is as easy as it gets. wouldn't it be great if hiring plumbers carpenters and even piano tuners... were just as simple? thanks to angie's list now it is. start shopping online... ...from a list of top rated providers. visit angieslist.com today. >> larry: welcome back. here is my exive producer rory albanese. >> also joining me from inside the building is our nightly show head writer robin thede. and he plays pete campbell merchandise men series finale this sunday do not miss it acker vincent kartheiser. so every thursday we do something called bag o grab this time in honor of mad men we are doing briefcase of grab. >> very nice. >> larry: so you open the briefcase and you can't look inside. and whatever you pull

thank you. >> larry! larry! larry! >> larry: i appreciate it. just kind of-- thank you, thank you. welcome to "nightly show." i am larry wilmore. that's right, you guessed trect correctly. man, we've got a great show lined up, from "entourage" and the new lifetime series "unreal," constance zimmer, joining the panel tonight. very good, very exciting, one of my favorites. but first i want to say our hearts go out to the folks deal with the horrible flooding across the south, especially texas and oklahoma. i hope you guys are all safe and i hope the floodwaters go down very soon. yes, terrible, terrible situation. and i empathize with you guys. i'm from california. we have the opposite situation there. we're dealing with like, the worst drought in recent history, and they're trying to find solutions. >> as california tries to recover from its fourth year of drought some are trying to gain support for recycling program which turns sewage into drinkable water. >> larry: all right,ify guys, i know it sounds nasty, nobody wants to drink sewage water but this is science okay. they science

. >> larry: yes. thank you very much. thank you. welcome. >> . >> larry: thank you very much. welcome to the nightly show. i'm your host larry wilmore. (cheers and applause) >> larry: thank you very much. you're very kind. you're very kind. we've got to get to this. there are a few stories in the news i want to talk about. let's get to the biggest oning and by biggest i mean a six foot 1 murderer. >> former nfl star aaron hernandez was found guilty of verdict. the verdict came down moments ago. hernandez stood a couped of killing odin lloyd in 2013. >> larry: now the news of a guilty verdict came as somewhat of a shock seeing as normally there are no consequences when a patriot breaks the rules. hey don't hate the messenger. as for punishment he got a life sentence an if you think that's harsh if you add on the likely two-game nfl suspension whooo! suffah! suffah! (applause) right. so anyway, what was hernandez's reaction to the verdict? >> the former patriots tightened showed almost no emotion as the verdict was read except for a moment he appears to send a message directly t

>> that's offensive larry. >> larry: oh okay. >> i don't find that funny at all. >> larry: i'm sorry, i apologize. >> way to ab negative. ha, ha ha yeah. >> larry: bag of blood everybody we'll be right back. ♪ ♪ makin' it happen ♪ ♪ take it and grab it ♪ ♪ life by the horns ♪ ♪ till i find satisfaction ♪ ♪ keepin the score ♪ ♪ eager for more ♪ ♪ looking to soar ♪ ♪ up above the distractions ♪ ♪ what do you think? when i first sit in the seat it makes me think of a bmw. i feel like i'm in a lexus. you would think that this was a brand new audi. it's like a luxury car. feels kind of like an infinity. very similar to a range rover. this is pretty high tech. yeah it is. it reminds me of a mercedes. ♪ this is chevy? laughing i have a new appreciation for chevy. they thought about me. i could totally rock this. this thing feels pretty boss. it looks kind of dope. that's pretty cool. this is the jam. pretty bomb dude. maybe i will go chevy. i'm definitely in. ♪ ♪ ♪ you and me, we could be bare footin' ♪ ♪ we'll certainly get around, ohh ♪ the ultimate do-over for wood and concrete. don't rep

>> that's offensive larry. >> larry: oh okay. >> i don't find that funny at all. >> larry: i'm sorry, i apologize. >> way to ab negative. ha, ha ha yeah. >> larry: bag of blood everybody we'll be right back. ♪ see what it means to never settle. try t-mobile risk free for 14 days. this is the movie you've all been waiting for... this is your mission. noo...this is an envelope. that's actually... we're all gonna die! ...not a movie. i don't know anything! do you think i'm an idiot?! ahhhhh! but, really, just a commercial... reminding people to eat m&m's. wait...what? this is just a commercial?? um...can someone shut off the missile? ♪ you're all excited to book that vacation flight. plenty of seats to choose from right? buuut the minute you try to use reward miles from your airline credit card... it's slim pickins! the flights you want -- sorry, they ask for a ridiculous number of miles. time to switch to the capital one venture card. with venture, you'll earn unlimited double miles. and using those miles is easy. just book any flight you want, on any airline. then use your miles to cov

>> audience: larry! larry! larry! >> larry: thank you. welcome to "the nightly show." we have a great program. dean obeidallah and lavell crawford joining us on the panel tonight. very funny guys. before we get to our top story, cinco de mayo, right? i want to give a quick shout-out to my latino viewers. mira, muchos drunken gringos sera en las calles esta noche. pero no te preocupes, solo estan divirtiendose. no se dan cuenta que cinco de mayo no es tu dia de la independencia. ellos piensan que estan celebrando su libertad. su libertad. ( laughter ) reirse de ellos en la cara y hacerlos comprar usted bebidas gratis. feliz cinco de mayo! ( cheers and applause ) no spanglish. no spanglish. people watching are like he's completely ( bleep ). anyhow, let's see how people are celebrating this sighting ethnic festival. >> flip on a sombrero. it's time to celebrate cinco de mayo. >> cinco de mayo! >> cinco de mayo! >> cinco de mayo! >> this is jetblue's promotion celebrating cinco de flyo. >> this is why we call it cinco de drinko. ( laughter ). >> larry: people just because

. >> larry do you have my back larry because i might not make it out of here in one piece. >> larry:'t have to worry about me you have to worry about these guys. it just worries me this is in front of a whole stadium of people. somebody thought how does this get okayed who is saying yeah can he throw her a little harlder maybe. >> was there a woman. >> i was going to say clearly lack of diversity in the boardroom and that's the issue here. i think if there were women in the room-- i doubt that this would have been green lit. you need more estrogen in the mix which is why i'm here today. (cheers and applause) >> all right well we have to just do a little better. okay we'll be right back. if you are's in new york city come see this is smith & forge hard cider. it's like buford here. strong. sturdy... but not too sweet. buford! built from apples. built to refresh. smith & forge hard cider. now on draft. >> that's our show i want to thank our panel lola agunnaike ahmed ahmed and joel mchale. don't forget to like us on facebook and follow us on twitter and instagram to keep track of every

>> that's offensive larry. >> larry: oh okay. >> i don't find that funny at all. >> larry: i'm sorry, i apologize. >> way to ab negative. ha, ha ha yeah. >> larry: bag of blood everybody we'll be right back. ♪ if you're looking for a car that drives you... ...and takes the wheel right from your very hands... ...this isn't that car. the first and only car with direct adaptive steering. ♪ the 328 horsepower q50 from infiniti. are you up for whatever? don't answer. grab a bud light and show it. try new things make new friends explore new places. find the fun around every corner. better yet, be the fun. laugh. dance. spin. jump! make a single weekend last a lifetime. and keep it going with a crisp refreshing bud light. the perfect beer for whatever happens. before earning enough cash back from bank of america to buy a new gym bag. before earning 1% cash back everywhere, every time and 2% back at the grocery store. even before he got 3% back on gas. kenny used his bankamericard cash rewards credit card to join the wednesday night league. because he loves to play hoops. not jump through the

(audience reacts) >> larry: oh, my god. >> larry: you said that like you thought we'd be on your sidexpected to hear an "am i right" at the end of that sentence. "look who's leaving. all the black people. am i right?" well, yeah, after you say some (bleep) like that, they're going to leave. okay. look. maybe she was frustrated. i mean, she was just trying to stick up for a kid who was supposed to make his speech. and those goobers were making it almost impossible. i mean, goobers gotta goob, am i right? (cheers and applause) okay. accidental racist principal, walk me through what happened. >> when i looked left, the light, as you know, lights in the auditorium, all i saw were black people getting up and leaving. >> larry: okay, stop right there. so it was the lights. that's what confused you? so mayb people -- they were back-lit people. okay. just trying to give you the benefit of the doubt because what you said sounded a little racist. >> i didn't know "black people" was a racist term. >> larry: um, black people isn't a racist term -- that's correct. you know what's a racist term? "b

(audience chanting larry) >> larry: larry, larry larry, larry... welcome to the "the nightly show."'m larry wilmore. we have a couple of great a-list celebrities on the show tonight. (cheers and applause) that's right, man! we have kevin pollak and oscar winner mo'nique! hey, baby! a lot to get to tonight, but first things first. it's time for "crazy preacher time roundup." >> crazy preacher time round up! >> larry: i just love that. let's check in with an old friend of mine. you know, this is a little embarrassing. i forgot his name. kimye yolo? groupon roku? that's not quite it. oh, i got it, i got it -- venmo surfboardt! dammit what was it again? no, it's got money in it. teflon nickel? >> pastor creflo dollar. >> larry: creflo dollar! all right! i was 95 cents away! how could i forget that name? that's right, creflo dollar, the only mega church pastor to get his name from a list of rejected "star wars" characters, is back! sorry. i'm just having a little good-natured fun with his name because it is objectively absurd. anyway, what was creflo in the news for again? >> this atlant

. >> larry do you have my back larry because i might not make it out of here in one piece. >> larry:ave to worry about me you have to worry about these guys. it just worries me this is in front of a whole stadium of people. somebody thought how does this get okayed who is saying yeah can he throw her a little harlder maybe. >> was there a woman. >> i was going to say clearly lack of diversity in the boardroom and that's the issue here. i think if there were women in the room-- i doubt that this would have been green lit. you need more estrogen in the mix which is why i'm here today. (cheers and applause) >> all right well we have to just do a little better. okay we'll be right back. if you are's in new york city come see sing things at chevy. this is a road trip car. we're sold. it's so pretty. they're good-looking cars. it feels great. perfect. this is not what i would expect from a chevy at all. get more than you expect, for less than you imagined at the chevy memorial day sale, going on now. get cash back for 15% of the msrp on select 2015 models in stock the longest. that's over

so nice to have you-- >> larry! larry! larry! larry! larry! >> larry: thank you very much. i amular,ular,ular,ular larry. now,ob, we've been covering the freddie gray case this whole week, so last night after the show i decided that, you know we should talk to some actual protesters. so i hopped on a train to baltimore-- this is true-- and of course, as soon as i did this happened. >> in new york city, demonstrators clashed with

. >> larry: what? >> they're the tools of my trade, larry. look, i need my craft to be authentic. right, and now you're saying cops can't pistol-whip punks for talking back anymore? ruins the entire premise of my next movie. >> larry: and-- and what's that? >> "louis cannon 7: requiem for a punk pistol-whipper." >> larry: i should have known, i should have known. okay. now, brock-- ( applause ). >> no no, you're just encouraging him. why do you need-- do you need to pistol-whip people all the time? >> because i run out of bullets, larry. i only carry four guns. what am i supposed to do? >> larry: four seems like way too many guns. >> you say that now, but all it takes is one high-speed helicopter versus motorcycle chase on a windy mountain road with lots of tunnels and all four guns are empty. and then it's pistol-whipping

which one are you and which one's larry? >> this would be me. >> gary. and larry.ecorded interview obtained by cnn, larry hall recounts a tough start. >> i know when i was born, my mother told me that i was blue, that i hadn't got enough oxygen to me or something. >> identical twin sons, growing up hard. in the hall home, there was little money and lots of problems. author hillel levin interviewed larry hall. >> it was a very cluttered household. they were raised with dysfunction. >> neighbors say their mother was domineering. their father drank and sometimes turned violent. he worked at the local cemetery. what was it like growing up next to a cemetery? was it creepy? >> no, not at all. not for me. you know, at 12 years of age, larry and i started working at the cemetery. >> as he grew older, larry had problems fitting in at school. >> he was always the backward twin. i was the more dominant, outgoing twin. he hung out with what my wife and i and a lot of fellow classmates called the misfits or the stinky crowd. >> still, the boys were best friends. and as young m

larry: mike huckabee. john: really? larry: the most adamant one.ohn: i spent more time with larry flynt and his amazing office. we will show you more of our conversation soon. up next, governor huckabee kicks off his campaign in a way that reminds us of a certain show on hbo. our debut of "true candidates" is next. ♪ mark: former arkansas governor mike huckabee plans to announce his presidential bid on tuesday. today he put out a political preview. it is pretty standard stuff. giving speeches, old footage of him. then things get a little weird. you see here a shot of the clinton, some hammering, black and white. a woman looking off into the distance. it is a little weird and got us to thinking the elements in this video might be more appropriate somewhere else. may be in a different kind of teaser video. ♪ >> you wonder ever if you are a bad man? governor huckabee: i will lead with moral clarity in a dangerous world. there is a difference between right and wrong, between good and evil. i will keep all the options on the table in order to defeat the

(audience chanting larry) >> larry: oh, that's good! very nice! larry... very good, very good!elcome to the "the nightly show." i'm larry wilmore. we have a great program tonight. bill nye the science guy the joining us on panel, so that should be a lot of fun. i have a lot of science questions for him. but first, it's time for an election update. roll that beautiful intro! ♪ yeah, it's the unblackening!