and-- and lenny bruce, the most important. >> you became successful pretty early. you started-- goin'-- >> i was on the tonight show, i was on with carson in two-- almost two and a half years, and that's not-- that's pretty fast. and-- i had a lotta breaks, too. i had-- letterman gave me-- he came over to me, and he says, "you know, you're-- you're good with johnny. some nights are better than others. but when you do standup, the camera's right there." and if i was-- and i w-- i'm real f-- kinetic, and-- no, i-- what did you ask me? >> (laugh) w-- you were talkin' about-- >> it was so prof-- oh yeah, well letterman says, "oh--" >> yes, he did, exactly. he's-- called me in in '81, before his late night show, for-- and he said, "you can come on as often as you want, in fact, you can write for the show, if you wanna move back to new york." i went, "no." i just had moved to l.a. five years or so before. and i said-- but he says, "don't do standup anymore, on tv. i mean, specials is one thing, and concerts and everything, you know." but-- he says, "when you come on my s

then i heard lenny bruce and-- and then became friends, and saw richard pryor. i went, these-- this-- these bars, and that's just-- it's just, you know, one-- a few names. i said, "if i ever go on stage, and i did it about a month or two after my dad died-- i said, "i have to reach for th-- i have to unravel myself on stage, as fearlessly as possible, and see if i get laughs." because i really did feel pretty much like a chagall painting, you know, but i was sort of tethered to nothing. because they were-- i really didn't have much of a family life. so-- the audience became my family >> well, and all that led to what at times was crippling depression, you had serious problems with addiction. wha-- what do you tell people who think, "here's a guy who had s-- all sorts of successful sitcoms, movies, books, and all this, and they say-- h-- they can't understand-- >> i know. >> --how somebody like you coulda gone through that. >> i dunno even know what-- i know what success means, okay? i get it. and i've learned it-- i've earned it. i-- i-- nothing mattered more to