i am laughing because i am reading the salman rushdie novel. when i first read that book i was so appalled by it. i was a dickens guide, a victorian. the idea of messing with narrative like that never occurred to me. in reading like that, it gave me permission to write in a certain way. the same thing with toni morrison and song of solomon. i grew up in a very british, colonial education. disillusionment, change of the geography. i was looking for bigger answers than the church could give. the church can be very, a lot of praise and worship not a lot of intellectual stimulation. it is hard to begin jamaica -- be gay in jamaica. i was a celibate christian. thinking that i was sustaining myself that way. not anything that ever confronted in jamaica. my standards for moving when i left was that i just wanted to be somewhere else. not necessarily a lot a knock on jamaica. i adore my country. it took years of coming into myself and wanting more out of life. what do i want, who am i? i am in all of i am in awe of coates. his article ons reparations w