. >> bing bing bong bong bing bing bong bong. >> whoa, what have we done? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] including we have tonight on the show never before seen footage from "batman versus superman." [ cheers and applause ] the "after oscars post show." we'll be right back with ben affleck! [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: jimmy kimmel after the oscars is brought to you by samsung. go to youtube.com/jimmykimmielive to see guillermo nursed in a virtual world using a samsung v-r headset. e seizing opportunity. so i' thank you, we' ll call you. evening, film noir, smoke, atmosphere... bob... you' re a young farmhand and e trade is your cow. milk it. e trade is all about seizing opportunity. can't get unlimited data for your family? other carriers either don't offer it, or it's too expensive! not t-mobile! lte data for just fifty bucks each, and get a fourth line, free! hurry. only at t-mobile. >>> you look good, you should wear that jacket home and make love to your wife. >> oh. that would be great. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel

matthew broderick, and cloris leachman star in -- >> maybe he won't be such a bad president.g bong bing bing bong bong. >> whoa, what have we done? [ laughter ] applause ] including we have tonight on the from "batman versus superman." [ cheers and applause ] the "after oscars post show." we'll be right back with ben affleck! [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: jimmy kimmel after the oscars is brought to you by samsung. go to youtube.com/jimmykimmielive to n a virtual world using a samsung v-r headset. trade is all about seizing opportunity. and i' his opportunity to direct. ll call you. evening, film noir, smoke, atmosphere... bob... a young farmhand and e trade is your cow. milk it. seizing opportunity. mited data for your family? other carriers either don't offer it, or it's too expensive! not t-mobile! each, hurry. only at t-mobile. look good, you should wear that jacket home and make love to your wife. >> oh. that would be great. and we need voters whwho are disappointed in to remember come election time. ent obama's outrage. it's time we had leaders with the courage to stand up to the nra. i'm p.g

bong bong, binge binge binge. (applause). >> trevor: can i just take a second to acknowledge how cool it is that we didn't have to put the words bing, bing into donald trump's mouth. so ladies and gentlemen, the great debate, does donald trump have a small or large penis? i got to say personally, i think it's huge. after all, he's using it to [bleep] the entire republican party. we'll be right back. we'll be right back. (cheers and applause) hey there, can i help you with anything? hey siri, what's at&t's latest offer? oh, i don't think that siri can... right now, switch to at&t for an iphone and get one free. wow, is that right? yeah, it's basically... yes. that is the current offer from at&t. okay siri, you don't know everything. well, i know you asked me to call you the at&t hostess with the mostest. okay, shut her down. turn it off. right now, buy an iphone and get another one free when you add a second line. when the thirst is real. there's no substitute for that classic, crisp, lemon-lime flavor. ♪ those bub

bong-bong! bing-bing-bing!laughter, applause) (whooping) can i just take a second to acknowledge how cool it is that we didn't have to put the words "bing-bing" into donald trump's mouth. -(laughter) -just a thought. so, ladies and gentlemen, the great debate: does donald trump have a small or large penis? -(laughter) -i got to say, personally, i think it's huge. after all, he's using it to (bleep) the entire republican party. we'll be right back. (cheering, applause) why are you so tired?ts... ahh, the "after lunch food coma." we've all been there. you had planned on ordering the salad, but the pasta and fries looked so good. now, you're trying to find a place to catch a few zzzs... without the boss catching you. next time, grab a great tasting 5-hour energy® shot. it'll help you stay alert and productive... no matter what's on the menu. now is the time for 5-hour energy®. (cheers and applause). >> trevor: welcome back. now there was one other big piece of election news over the weekend. dr. ben carson gave th

bong-bong! bing-bing-bing! (laughter, applause) (whooping) can i just take a second to acknowledge how cool it is that we didn't have to put the words "bing-bing" into donald trump's mouth. -(laughter) -just a thought. so, ladies and gentlemen, the great debate: does donald trump have a small or large penis? -(laughter) -i got to say, personally, i think it's huge. after all, he's using it to (bleep) the entire republican party. we'll be right back. (cheering, applause) trustit powers...sher with cascade platinum. 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(doorbell) what's that? swiffer wetjet. so much stuff coming up. this is amazing woah. wow. now i feel more like making a mess is part of growing up. stop cleaning. start swiffering. chuck, i know i have a 798 fico score, thanks to experian.com. kaboom... get your credit swagger on. go to experian.com. become a member of experian credit tracker and take charge of your score. ♪ grab a refreshing canada dry ginger ale. real ginger. real taste. real ahhh (cheers and applause). >> trevor: welcome back. now there was one other big piece of election news over the weekend. dr. ben carson gave the prognosis on his own presidential campaign. he did all he could but in the end it couldn't be saved. >> and i'm hopeful that maybe some people now that i am leaving the campaign trail-- yeah. (laughter). >> trevor: its-- he condition even muster any energy when he's saying he's dropping out of the race. yeah. the guy sounds like he's deciding whether or not to have fries with his order. like, sir, do you want to make it a combo meal? yeah. are you sure, sir? you don't have to. >> yeah. >> trevor: he's like a human-- this is so fun. >> enough, enough. >> trevor: oh, it's roy wood, it's roy wood. (cheers and applause) is bhas' going on, man. >> what did i tell but ben carson, trevor? >> trevor: yeah, i know, roy. i know. that we shouldn't make fun of him because before he started acting crazy, his life was an inspiration to the black community. and he was our best shot at going black to black in the white house. >> yes. that's right. look. i know carson's presidential campaign was a joke but black people used to look up to him. on my 16th birthday my mother gave me his book. i still have it. >> trevor: oh, have you read it? >> i have skimmed it. but that's not the point. look, man, ben carson rose from a rough detroit neighborhood. >> trevor: where he tried to stab his friend. >> to become one of the world's most renowned surgeon. >> trevor: so a professional stabber. >> he told us where you come from doesn't have to determine where you're going. >> trevor: he also told us that egyptians put grain in the pir mit-- pyramids. >> okay, that was one time. >> trevor: he said obamacare was the worst thing since slavery. >> took, two times. >> trevor: the president isn't truly a black man. >> i get it ben carson said [bleep] but everybody said [bleep]. at least he was calm during his campaign. that chipped away at the angry black man certificate stereotype. >> trevor: because he was asleep the whole time. >> look, i'm with you. campaign was a disaster it completely overshadowed everything carson has accomplished that is why i am so sad. we just lost another black hero. first it was o.j., thens couldby, kayne barely keeping it together. (laughter) black people can't afford to lose heroes. we don't have that many. white people lose heroes and keep it moving. you think white people mission lance armstrong? (laughter) they don't miss that bike riding dude. as soon as he fell off, hey, mackel more, you up, it's your turn. >> trevor: come on, roy, that is not fair. that is not fair. there are many black heroes left. >> oh, who? who. what black people-- we down to oa-- obama an shonda rhimes. >> trevor: we haved golden state war warriors. >> they lost to the lakers they are dead to me. the poipt is the old ben carson is gone and is never coming back. the plan determines a proper good-bye. ben carson you may never again be welcome at a black barbershop, one thing is for sure, if i ever become a con joined twin, i want to you do the surgery. i will miss you, dr. ben carson. ♪ every nap you take ♪ every bill you break ♪ ♪ i'll be missing you ♪ thinking of the day ♪ you desert all your book we read ♪ i'll be missing you oh yeah ♪ we'll be missing you (cheers and applause). >> trevor: roy wood, jr., everyone. we'll be right back. hannah's recipe for a successful bistro. feed the garden all year long. feed people all year long. hire cute waiter's. miracle-gro. life starts here. with esurance, upload you into a a few photosk? and a claims rep will help you get your money fast. maybe that doesn't make you a control freak. more like a control enthusiast. auto and home insurance for the modern world. esurance. bounty is two times more absorbent. more "sit" per roll. so one roll of bounty can last longer than those bargain brands. so you get more "life" per roll. bounty. the long-lasting quicker picker upper. or you can spend it on this. you could spend your dollar on this. this? or this. this? or any of these ten delicious items on taco bell's new $1 morning value menu. it's not even fair. 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bong bong, binge binge binge.just take a second to acknowledge how cool it is that we didn't have to put the words bing, bing into donald trump's mouth. so ladies and gentlemen, the great debate, does donald trump have a small or large penis? i got to say personally, i think it's huge. after all, he's using it to [bleep] the entire republican party. we'll be right back. (cheers and applause) what brand of makeup is better for your skin than wearing no makeup at all? neutrogena® cosmetics. powders, concealers and foundations in new shades for more skin tones. with vitamins and antioxidants. your skin will look beautiful when you wear it and even after you take it off. neutrogena® cosmetics see what's possible. sfx: rocket blasting off sfx: (countdown) 3, 2, 1 rocket i am winnie, chantelle winnie. when my thirst is real? i release those crystal clear bubbles of sparkling lemon-lime flavor. their crisp taste, and tingling sensation. cuts right through to give me exactly what i need. obey your thirst. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ can you

bong bong, binge binge binge. (applause). >> trevor: can i just take a second to acknowledge how cool it is that we didn't have to put the words bing, bing into donald trump's mouth. so ladies and gentlemen, the great debate, does donald trump have a small or large penis? i got to say personally, i think it's huge. after all, he's using it to [bleep] the entire republican party. we'll be right back. we'll be right back. (cheers and applause) an oven-baked digiorno? or waiting for delivery? did you have that beard when we ordered? a hot, fresh-baked crust? or? did we order extra soggy? don't settle for delivery. rise to the occasion. it's not delivery. it's digiorno. carry the centimeter, divide by 3.14 something something something... [ beeping, whirring ] great caesar salad! ♪ and now the name your price tool shows people policy options to help fit their budget. is that a true story? yeah! people really do save an average of over $500 when they switch. i mean about you inventing it. i invented the story, and isn'

bong bong, binge binge binge. (applause). >> trevor: can i just take a second to acknowledge how cool it is that we didn't have to put the words bing, bing into donald trump's mouth. so ladies and gentlemen, the great debate, does donald trump have a small or large penis? i got to say personally, i think it's huge. after all, he's using it to [bleep] the entire republican party. we'll be right back. we'll be right back. (cheers and applause) ♪ whistle music throughout (dogs barking) nearly half of us will need a lawyer this year. find the right one for you on avvo. avvo. legal. easier. i...just me...me andrd my four daughters.... ah, there's a lot of dancing and pageants that go on in our kitchens and living rooms and things like that. i've had to learn to accept certain things like the fact that my toe nails and finger nails are going to be painted constantly. but it's really awesome to watch them at their own things. they're great kids... all of them. whatever home means to you, we'll help you find it. zillow. ♪

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bing, bing, bing bong bong cling ba, ba, ba bye boom, boom ca-ching ching a-rrrr >> we have to take a break. when we come back, my cousin sal and his hidden camera is at the customer service counter at costco. we'll be right back. out on the town or in for the night, at&t helps keep everyone connected. right now at at&t, buy one get one free on our most popular smartphones. no matter how you hang out, share every minute of it. buy one get one free on our most popular smartphones. and right now, get up to $650 in credits per line to help you switch to at&t. red lobster's lobsterfest is back. so come try the largest variety like lobster lover's dream or new dueling lobster tails. it's a party on every plate, and you're invited. so come in while it lasts. lease a 2016 lincoln mkx for $399 a month well what if i told you that peanuts can work for you? that's right. of 7 grams of protein and 6 essential nutrients. ever see a peanut take a day off? i don't think so. harness the hardworking >> jimmy: martha plimpton and music from charles kelly is on the way. but first, as those of you who w

. >> bong bong -- >> prozac put your hands up. >> weather button ready to go. >> you didn't want to do it last time. you said you had bigger hands than me. what's the take away? what does it mean? you have more to explain than me. [laughter] >> big gloves. i object to this conversation. [laughter] >> all right. >> kids. show you what's going on out there. first of all yeah we need gloves out the there today. bring out the good ones nice fuzzy ones because it's toasty outside wet weather and wet and white but snow coming through that is a lot of people are lyings snow with maybe a coating to an inch of it. coming to us core of the tristate but down to the south just a little bit. you're seeing if heavier snow showers and you'll see some accumulation there. that's where you have the winter weather advisory that does include mammoth and ocean county to summer set county as well. yeah, you've got the winter weather advisory up until at least 9:00 this morning going on till perhaps lunch time and slow down after that. even for us in the core of the tristate. temp qiez we're all the still fr

." ♪ bing, bing, bing bong ♪ bong ♪ cling ♪ ba, ba, ba ♪ bye ♪ boom, boom ♪ bing, bing ♪ ca-ching ching take a break. when we come back, my cousin sal and his hidden camera is at the customer service counter at costco. we'll be right back. ♪ out on the town or in for the night, at&t helps keep everyone connected. right now at at&t, buy one get one free on our most popular smartphones. no matter how you hang out, share every minute of it. buy one get one free on our most popular smartphones. and right now, get up to $650 in credits per line to help you switch to at&t. so come try the largest variety of lobster dishes of the year, like lobster lover's dream or new dueling lobster tails. nvited. so come in while it lasts. ♪ ♪ lease a 2016 lincoln mkx for $399 a month only at your lincoln dealer. twell what if i told you that peanuts can work for you? that's right. i'm talking full time delivery of 7 grams of protein and 6 essential nutrients. ay off? i don't think so. harness the hardworking power of the peanut. ifor all the wrong reasons.gical