. >> kristen: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. that is entertaining. >> lyndsay: i hope you're getting entertainment. it wouldn't stay on. it was way too loose. >> kristen: what is this, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. >> lyndsay: here is the other thing, got extremely hot, ashley, i don't know if you noticed this, but the long part where the air was going through it got so hot i kind burning myself when i would touch the hose part. ashley noticed the same thing. crying ha ha ha ha ha. i want to spend the next 20 minutes watching this. >> lyndsay: i tried putting my hair up and -- >> kristen: did it dry your hair? >> lyndsay: a tiny bit. heading the top part of my head. >> lyndsay: i tried put my hair up,. >> lyndsay: if i had hot rollers that might have been something -- >> kristen: ha ha ha. >> lyndsay: you have to keep pulling it down. >> kristen: you looked like a smurf. >> lyndsay: i look like an alien. 14.99. if you do color your hair at home or do a leave-in conditioner at home or use hot >> kristen: ha ha ha ha. 14.99 at

[ cheers and applause ] ha ha ha, ha ha ha, huh? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's always that. ha ha ha, ha ha ha, huh? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] steve higgins. steve higgins right there, everybody, there he is. [ cheers ] oh, gosh, that makes me laugh. thank you, justin bieber, for turning 22 earlier this week. i totally forgot to wish you happy birthday. is it too late now to say sorry [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] love the pan flute. >> jimmy: i'm into my pan flute dance hall. >> steve: you love it, man. you love dance hall pan flute. >> jimmy: dude that's what i'm all -- that's all -- 24/7. [ light laughter ] three days a week. >> steve: man, you love it. >> jimmy: oh, i put on my play list and i'm like -- [ gibberish ] >> steve: ha ha ha ha ha, huh? [ applause ] >> steve: zamfir. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i know, right? he gets no love. thank you, donald trump, for saying that you don't have a a small penis. [ laughter ] well, it's not like you're overcompensating. [ laughter ] >> steve: hey! hey. >> jimmy: we get it. we get it. we get it. >> steve: we

cheers and applalae e ha ha , a ha, hu [ lahter ] >> j jmy: >> jimmy: it's a a as s atat ha ha ha, ha ha ha, huh? [ laughter ] [ cheers and appuse ] steve higgins.stste higgini righghthere, everybody, there he is oh, gosh, that makes me laugh. thank you, justin biebfo turning 22 earli this week. i totatay rgot to o sh you happy bihday. is it too latatatw totoay s sry @ [ cheers and appuse e e [ laughter ] a little pan flute. >>>>teve: yeah. love the pan nlute. >> jimmy: i'into my paflut dance ha.. >> steve: you ve it, man. you lo hall pan flute. >> jimmy: dudu that's wh i'm l -- that's all -- 2 2 [ light lahter ] three days a week. >> steveveman, you love it. - >> jimim: oh, i put my play list and i'm lik-- [ gibberh ] >> steve: ha ha haha, huh?[ plause ] >> stuve: : mfir. [ light t ughtht ] >> jimmy: : know, right? he gets no love. thank you, donald trp, for saying that you dot have a sml penis. [ laughter ] well, it's not like u' [ laughter ] >> stete: hey! hey. jimmywe get it. et it. we getett. >> steveweweot i i i [ applau e >> jimmy: we getel ank you, the artist who kes street si

ha ha! ha ha ha ha! oh! yes, yes, and the kids, too! everyone. be i can tell my lady troubles to the pope. marie: look at it. it's a little, tiny village... oh, my god! oh, my god! this is unbelievable! all right, stop dancing. do you understand that this is a vacation with my family? don't we want a vacation from my family? if they're gonna bother me anyway, i'll take bothered in italy. ha ha ha! we were -- we were gonna go to the jersey shore. italy... free trip to italy. well, i don't know. i'm not really interested in other cultures. [ laughing ] okay. you know, i-in the past, your...dumbness has gotten in the way of just, like, a few things that i've wanted to do -- the book club, theater, having conversations.

ha ha ha ha ha! ♪ (applause) i don't know why we're staying on that story. excuse me? e of america's finest justices doesn't deserve justice? now, merrick garland is an eminently qualified justice. so qualified that, last week, republican senator orrin hatch held garland up as an ideal bipartisan choice calling the justice "a fine man" before adding that obama probably wouldn't pick him because he's too moderate, and back in 2010, hatch called garland "a consensus nominee." well, g.o.p., obama picked the moderate, so does that mean senate majority leader and old-age mutant ninja turtle mitch mcconnell will relent in his blockade against an obama nominee? no, it does not. >> according to his spokesperson, mcconnell called garland today to let him know, "since the senate will not be acting on this nomination, he would not be holding a perfunctory meeting, but me -- but he wished judge garland well. >> larry: called him? mcconnell broke up with him over the phone? (as mcconnell) "hi, ms. garland. uh, is merrick home? hey, merrick. this is mitch. how's it going? yeah, me, t

says she helped raise larry -- along with her 26 other kids. 05:43 five girls but a lot of boys ha ha ha ha ha track the turner family was shocked by what the devastation the tornado caused. sot: dante turner/father killed 26:35 i didn )t know a tornado could do stuff like that" track larry s 19-year- old son says some of the family is handling their loss better than others. meanwhile the community is still trying to put itself back together after 56 buildings were either destroyed or damaged. the sussex county public safety cordinator estimated the cost at $2.6 million dollars. community leader say they are now evaluating their emergency management plan and looking at ways that they can improve warning systems. sot: eddie vick/public safety coordinator 35:43 a lot of those apps went off but by the time it was off the tornado was already here track despite the devastation --community leaders say there was an element of beauty that came through this tragedy. sot: eddie vick/public safety coordinator 32:12 one thing i veearned from this event is that how strong the strong the human spirit is of

has attacked gas facilities in algeria before, no word if they are suspected in this case, but we will follow that story. >> christine: we're getting you ready for your friday with a little pick me up. >> ha ha ha. >> john: ha ha ha ha. oh my gosh. that is archer, a four-year-old pet arctic fox, contagious laugh has entertained millions. million times. the owner says he's a happy fox and makes all kind of noises when he wants to go outside he makes a noise. every time her boyfriend laugh, he laughs. >> christine: i like how he turns over. >> kristen: falls right over. >> christine: i love that. super cute. >> john: crazy animals. cbs this morning is coming up right now at 7:00, we're going over to the bounce channel where 9:00, we love for you to join captioni funded by cbs >>> good morning. it is friday, march 18th, 2016. welcome to "cbs this morning." >>> a new threat targets donald trump's family. police swarm his son's manhattan apartment. >>> voters say they are fed up with both presidential front runners. a new focus group reveals anger in a key swing state. >> huge hail hammers texas and millions could be hit by a spring snowstorm. we begin this morning with a look at today's "eye opener." your world

ha ha ha ha. >> john: i'm not touching that. a girl's picture of her grandfather draws hundreds of thousands of comments, the story behind this sad face that is going viral. >> christine: and we are on your side with an important programming note, wbtv will have aa tournament from noon until 5:00 followed by the news. regularly scheduled programming will resume monday. if you schedule go to wbtv.com. >> christine: 5:41, a look at what's trending. >> john: people are going online to watch a patriotic birth. a bald eagle named mr. president and her partner, the first lady is waiting for their two eggs to hatch at u.s. national arboretum. a live look, this is the eagle cam. live look, you can see dc eagles.eagles.org. one of the eggs is starting to hatch. they posted this picture on facebook of holes in the egg. when they are born the public will be able to name them. >> christine: a college student sad photo of her grandfather led to outpouring of support and a little cousin rivalry. >> kelsey harmon tweeted this caption, made 12 burgers for six grandkids i'm the only one who showed. more than 100,000 people tweeted their love for him and lectured the other grandkids. one of the other kids got the message. brock harmon tweeted this photo saying i came to his house and am having a burger. >> >> john: little shaming. looked like good burgers. >> chris: soon he will say can you all leave, i've had enough. >> christine: looking forward to the weekend lots of activities morning, autism run, unfortunately the weather won't be as beautiful as the last couple days. it won't be a wash-out. won't rain all day long but we will see periods of showers as we head toward the weekend, so again, just keep that in mind, that we will see cooler temperature, more cloud cover and showers, there is a live look from our metro school camera here in the charlotte area, and we will warm up today in the upper 60s and probably some low 70s across the charlotte area, right now, let's take a look at current conditions across charlotte, partly cloudy skies, 52 degrees, relative humidity 59%, across the area, most of us in the low 50s. 52, 49 mountain island lake, 54 belmont, 52 harrisburg. in the mountains, 45 boone, 57 gastonia. cloud cover heaviest from charlotte and gastonia, thins in the foothills and mountains, that is why i think warmer than the charlotte region this afternoon. rain showers to start the day in charleston but just the cloud cover here in charlotte but we will see moisture and colder fair the north working in the charlotte area for the weekend, saturday and sunday. so again, a little bit of a hours. we will see peeks of sunshine this afternoon, 62 boone, 55 on the top of beech mountain. in the foothills, low 70s, 73 lenoir, 72 taylorsville. 70 in concord, 74 wadesboro and 73 in rockingham, 74 pageland, partly cloudy, 73 in cheraw or for this afternoon in cheraw. futurecast through the day today, fairly quiet, no rain showers, partly cloudy skies, afternoon. the moisture and colder air working in as we head overnight in saturday morning, this is 10:00 a.m., keep in mind parade is tomorrow morning at 10:00 to 11:00, rain showers, 11:00 a.m. for the parade start, back in we will see more rounds of rain coming overnight in sunday morning and with the colder air, snow showers up in the mountains, first thing on sunday morning. so about a 50% chance for rain showers saturday, 40% sunday morning and then we're dry to start the work week with the very nice warming trend. it is chilly, right at average if not slightly below for the weekend, 58 saturday afternoon, rain showers overnight in sunday morning, but clearing sunday afternoon and look at the lows, monday morning, 33, 32 coming up on tuesday morning and there is the warming trend, 72 wednesday afternoon, 77 on thursday. that is a check of first alert forecast, guys, back over to you. >>> first alert traffic brought to you by toyota of north charlotte. >> john: a look here at live current conditions map and again, most of the area is in green right now. if you're coming up 77, things are looking smooth, we expect congestion as the morning comes along here. here's a live look at i-77 at the rest area, you can see we have a report of careless, reckless driving in the north tryon street area around the 7700 block. remember, you're never more than seven minutes away from weather and traffic on wbtv news this morning. >>> when you buy a new phone, what do you do with the old one? most people sell them, but are you sure you're getting the best price? all new in the 6:30 half hour, we're on your side with what you need to know to maximize your return. >> christine: kristen miranda live in the alert center, you said you want details first when news is breaking or just hitting the wires, that is why we have kristen here, in the alert center getting headlines for it is 5:46. day with wbtv news this morning. >> christine: glad you're back with us on wbtv news this >> john: get over to kristen miranda with new details on a surprising discovery made in a car in europe. this is just coming in right now to the alert center. >> john: i want >> kristen: i want to get the video for you, it is taking half a second longer, it is interesting to see how far migrants are willing to go to get from one country to another. i'll get the video to a couple seconds. also coming in, a gas facility in algeria hit by explosive munitions fired from a distance. this is associated press alert we got. i'll track down information on that for you, two developing stories internationally i'm following, as soon as i see you i'll bring you more. back to you. >> john: federal authorities say a college student who wounded four fellle low students in a inspired by isis but acted alone. the 18-year-old may have become self-radicalized. he planned the attack at university of california merred a week before he carried it out in november. campus police officer shot and killed him the day of the attack. >> christine: a judge ordered the fbi to allow sandra bland's family to review the order, part of a wrongful death lawsuit. she died last summer in the waller county jail, three days after being arrested during the traffic stop. authorities ruled her death a suicide. >> john: former cia director david petraeus will testify before capitol hill. he testified before a committee after leaving the agency about benghazi. apologizes in court after committing a crime against music. >> hello there, i'm sorry >> for the things i've done. >> do you recognize the song that he's playing off here, brian taylor sentenced up to 17 years in prison for unlawful imprisonment, carried concealed weapon. did his own take on adele's "hello" in his apology to the judge. his mother and victim. the judge called him a talented young man, adding he should take advantage of programs available in prison so he can better his life when he's released. >> john: all right. >> christine: we're all scratching our heads a little bit. all right. you're never more than seven minutes away from weather and traffic on wbtv news this morning. wonder what adele would have to say to that. here is meterologist chris larson. the weather it is partly cloudy >> christine: ha ha ha ha. >> chris: 66 degrees, low 70s for this afternoon. all right, current condition here in charlotte, 52, relative humidity, 59% with winds out of the north at 3-miles-per-hour. up in the mountains, 45, boone, 58 gastonia, 58 monroe, 57 right the storm track will stay down to the south today, but we will see an influx of moisture heading in the weekend and cooler temperatures, the rapid refresh model, going through the day on friday, a good deal of sunshine, but mixed in with thin high clouds that you don't see here on our computer model and quiet new friday evening, friday night. by saturday morning, we are going to be talking about rain showers here in the charlotte area and up in the foothills and mountains. rock hill, 70 this afternoon, 72 hickory, 73 morganton and 62 in that's a look at first alert forecast >> christine: that is so bad. oh, chris, oh, chris. a live look at the commute this morning, folks, things are moving smoothly here this morning, just one accident we're

says she helped raise larry -- along with her 26 other kids. 05:43 five girls but a lot of boys ha ha ha ha ha track in the small town of waverley the turner family is well known. sot: dante turner/father killed 26:35 i didn )t know a tornado could do stuff like that" track larry s son says some in his family are handling their loss better than others. the sussex county public safety coordinator says in total there were 56 buildings affected - with a damage estimates at about 2.6 million dollars. community leaders say they are looking at how they can learn from this tragedy. 40:28 do you think their improvements the warning system that could be in place? we are ma )am we will definitely look at that track as they continue to the people that helped. sot: eddie vick/public safety coordinator 32:12 one thing i ve learned from this event is that how strong the strong the human spirit is of overcoming adversity and how they pulled together i never seen anything quite like that track strangers helping each other in their greatest time of need. county leaders tell me they re looking at having townhal

ha-a-a-nd! aaaaaaaaaaah! very funny, mom. i know it's halloween. nice fake hand. phil: aaaah! aaaah! aah! aah! aah! aah! aah! ha ha ha! ha ha! we love halloween.re. it's my favorite holiday. ever since i was a kid, i loved scary things. if there was a new horror movie in town, i was the first in line. "one, please." [chuckles] then i met phil. "two, please."

ha-ha ha-ha. >>> sorry, we are just excited. >> that was a sneak peek of hillary clinton's guest appearance on the comedy central show "broad city." that airs tonight at 10:00 p.m. >>> matthew perry has signed to play the late senator ted kennedy in a mini series called "the kennedys after camelot" it's a sequel to the series on the real's channel. >>> and steven colbert and steve martin seem to be getting along splendidly on the late show. >>> my friend 's a pal i can+@ always believe in. >>. that's why i love my best friend steve >> that's why i love my best friend gary >> wait, steve. who's gary? >> he's my best friend. whole time just like you've been singing about your best friend, steve. oh. symptoms worsen because your heart isn't pumping well. (water filling room) about 50 percent of people die (dog whimpering) within 5 years of getting diagnosed. but there's something you can do. talk to your doctor about heart failure treatment options. more likely you are...v (dog whimpering) to keep it pumping. [music] no, no, no, no, people are both soft and strong... yey! which is why our products are too. >>> all right, so if you are just waking up, here's a quick recap of the winners

ha ha ha. keep going, ha ha ha. jemma you're almost there, jemma is the winner. you're a winner right here, jemma. landon, you got tired, buddy? >> how cute. sunday's race started with serious competition between landon and jemma. landon got tired. he fell asleep on the job. we think landon was the crowd favorite. >>> right now the search otherwise for wanted man who faces several charges in charlotte. where police lost track of him, new at 5:00. al? >> al: showers and thunderstorms last night, they pushed away now, high pressure building in, that means a nice day today, how long will it last? the weekend forecast in the seven day planner straight ahead. chris? >> chris: early tuesday morning commute looking fine across the charlotte area, keep an eye on that. kristen? >> kristen: three police officers injured in a shoot-out in chicago, the latest details in two >>> this broadcast sponsored by subaru concord and subaru south boulevard. wbtv on your side. wbtv news starts right now. >> john: now at 5:00, chaos in concord after shots are are fired and a crowd takin

ha ha ha ha. >> john: political season, the crazy season. >> al: smart of them to take advantage of that opportunity. >> john: how often to celebrities say if so and so i'm moving and they never do. >> al: they never do. >> john: all talk. >> al: maybe you will be moving out the door, been dry, we had night, tuesday night, didn't amount to much here, .04 of an inch. some of you had more. where do we stand in charlotte? not much rain. we have a deficit early in the month, down a third for the month and the year, we will make up a good chunk of this in the next 24 hours. i think mostly we will be back close to even if everything works out the way i think it will, a third and half inch of rain overnight and early tomorrow morning. there may be a flurry or two in the highest elevations but by and large, a lot of that on the power doppler radar is the sensitivity of the radar itself. picks up precipitation falling from the clouds but you can see a warm front here cutting up through the ohio valley, cool front back to the west. rain south of there, so the real precipitation is still several hundred miles away us from, will take all day to get here. going through time, overcast, as we get the thicker clouds to move in. now the model suggests the rain rockets eastward. this is probably a little bit on if someone has their pedal to the mettle, west of i-77 in the rain tonight all getting in on rain. plan on a wet thursday night. no rain out there right now in lincolnton, cold, temperature in the upper 20s right now. 28 degrees, a very very chilly start to the day, most everybody is below freezing in charlotte we have excellent visibility but mostly cloudy skies, 32 right now in the queen city. go from the 30s only getting back to 40 this afternoon. fading sunshine early overcast but again notice no real rain until we get late in the afternoon and even then at 4:00 in charlotte, 40% chance. that does ramp up tonight to an 80% chance. there is why. the low comes over us, then gone as quickly as it moves in, it moves out, as i mentioned, it won't be just rain but above 3500 feet there will be snow, high pressure builds in behind this, so we'll dry out nicely and we will be warming up. cool on the front side of it but again the backside will bring temperatures in the 60s by the quarter to half inch of

ha ha ha ha. >> al: much cooler than yesterday, 86 degrees, record high temperature, temperatures have fallen off, 5 to 20 degrees cooler. king street in boone, dry conditions here courtesy of resortcams.com, in the 30s in the mountains, you'll get back blowing rock, gusty breed will be out there, no gusty breeze. 41 in boone, 37 morganton, 48 shelby, charlotte, 41 albermarle, 44 wadesboro. much cooler start today, we will wind up going from 51 at 8:00 to 77 this afternoon, still way above the average. but cooler than yesterday. again, nice day today, chilly weekend on the way, lots of clouds, bouts of rain, time on this not good at all i will break it down so you can make your plans this weekend not a wash out, all that in the seven day planner. 6:15, check in with chris. >> chris: first alert traffic sponsored by toyota of north charlotte. keeping you updated about the fire situation on albermarle road at a restaurant, overnight that is albermarle at central avenue, inbound lanes are all open, one outbound lane away from independence boulevard is closed down. fire crews still on the scene looking live at i-77 west boulevard, john belk and brookshire in the green, we do have an accident up at statesville avenue at atando, expect inbound delays along statesville, still most of our major highways, interstates running in the green, seeing slow downs there along providence road. that is a check of traffic, christine, over to you. >> christine: how safe is your tap water? >> john: on "cbs this morning," surprising results of u sa today network investigation of water systems. >> christine: next at 6:00, history will be made when seton hall takes the court at ncaa tournament. we'll explain how and look ahead to the game. featuring north carolina teams. wbtv is always on your side, in is 6:16, we'll be back. most weekends only last a couple of days. some last a lifetime. hampton. we go together. book at hampton.com (burke) at farmers, we've seen almost everything, so we know how to cover almost anything. even a stag pool party. (party music) (splashing/destruction) (burke) and we covered it, october twenty-seventh, 2014. talk to farmers. we know a thing or two because we've seen a thing or two. >> john: now 20 min 20 minutes after 6:00. this is our hd tower cam, duke energy lit up in green in observation of st. patrick's day today. we want to get over to kristen miranda, live in the alert center with new details just coming in. >> kristen: john and christine, we have been talking about this, al wears green, chris, you two have green. >> christine: you don't. >> kristen: i forgot. a lot of people wearing green in savannah. let's take a live look, there it is. savannah looking gorgeous, that is river street all of river street closed starting today because that is where the weekend-long activities begin in savannah. a huge place for people to go and thousands go for the parade which is today. the roadway is closed so they can have stuff going on all weekend long. if we can look at apple tv, the parade route this morning, starts at 10:15 and that is parade map, where the parade goes, if you're still looking for a thing to do, if you left now, you could get there probably be close, could you see the parade. that is where people are going to be setting up this morning, we've gotten word from our sister station, wtoc that people are up and picking their spots along the route. it will be a big day in beautiful savannah today. >> christine: a big deal down there. >> kristen: sure is. >> christine: a men's basketball player at seton hall will become the first openly gay player in the tournament. >> my teammates knows, everybody knows, no pressure, just me doing what i know how to do. >> gordon's seton hall pirates take to the floor tonight against gonzaga. >> john: the ncaa tournament tips off, first game features unc asheville playing duke at 12:15, in providence, rhode island. unc plays tonight against unc wilmington. not unc asheville. later tonight, unc plays florida gulf coast. >> christine: unc wilmington playing duke. >> al: we have students we know at unc wilmington that occasionally live at our homes, they are excited. mid-day just to watch the game. >> christine: priorities. >> al: i'll let them know you said asheville. they don't want to be in the mountains, they're at beach. very little here the last couple weeks, it has been so dry here, we'll make up for this and the timing is not great. this weekend. not a lot of rain coming but i tell you, just after having such a great week of weather, as we get toward friday and the weekend, we'll see cloud cover increase and we will whittle away that the deficit. now two inches for the month and two inches for the year. i want to caution you don't cancel outdoor plans, you have to deal with rain and definitely much cooler weather. a lot of cloud cover but not a wash out. this is scott clark's toyota in stallings, dry conditions, clear skies. 48 degrees, great visibility, light breeze out of the northwest at three miles per hour, temperatures in the 40s. it is 36 in morganton, 53 at the airport in hickory, 55 in statesville, 44 salisbury, low 40s lincolnton, 49 right now in monroe. all these temperatures running from 5 to 20 degrees cooler than this time yesterday, so again, this is the beginning stages, not still very nice this afternoon. decent amount of sunsh

devry university's college of business. [ crow caws ] [ high-pitched ] ah ha ha ha ha! [ snorts ] what's going on with you? we already have one weird kid. that slot is filled. okay, i'm trying for senior superlatives. you know, "most likely to succeed," "best laugh." and it is finally my chance to make it into the yearbook [ microwave beeps ] on the center fold, where it naturally opens! i am telling you, if i want the year of sue to be in the yearbook of sue, i got to do whatever it takes to make my mark, which, in this case, means working on my laugh. how about you go for "most likely to work on it in your room"? oh, dad, that is hi-larious. [ throatily ] eh heh heh heh heh heh heh --

ha-ha-ha-ha! [ laughter ]my day, we didn't eat vitamints, the mint flavored candy vitamins. back then when a man wanted his daily dose of vitamins he got [ laughter ] [ laughter ] didn't count on 'em bein' this chewy, rusty.ughter and applause ] i can feel 'em workin' already, buddy.zards didn't have names like jonas, we just called 'em what they were. a big ol' pain in the ass. in your class named jonas didn't have to get teased for the next months by other kids sayin', "thanks for coverin' my dad's car with snow, ya dickhead." [ laughter ] back in my day, kanye wasn't about to release an album called "waves", promising it to be the best album of all time. he was callin' that album "s the best album of all time. [ light laughter ] and before that he was gonna call it "so help me god." -- pick a title and stick with it. [ light laughter ] yeezus. [ laughter ]ill got some gummy on one of my teeth. [ laughter ]e didn't go zippin' around on hoverboards. poppy cock! they went zippin' around on rollerblades.ollerblades never caught on fire. you just wished they did. [ laughter ] [ dog barking ] no, you can't have a gummy! [ light laughter ]id eat gummy on the card. [ laughter ] gold.applause ][ laughter ]on manning wasn't the oldest quarterback in the league facing the panthers in super bowl 50. he was the oldest quarterback in the league facin' the seahawks in superbowl 48. [ light laughter ] you happy to see it. as long as they weren't servin' papa johns at your super bowl party, because -- papa johns is not that good [ laughter and applause ] back in my day, if you didn't wanna date someone anymo"ghost" them by ignoring their texts. no, back in my day if you didn't wanna date someone anymore you doubled down and you married them. [ light laughter ] were you happy?while you forgot what happiness even felt like and then it don't sting so bad anymore. [ laughter ]dog barking ] oh! [ laughter ] thanks for bringin' me back there, rusty. i was havin' a weird moment.laughter ] back in my day, people weren't testing out the h bomb like north korea. no, back in my day, the only bomb people were testin' out was the "f" bomb. this and "f" that and if you ask me it was [ bleep ] inappropriate. [ laughter and applause ] look at me goin' on and on. i guess sometimes this grouched up grinch has gotta tight grip on the grump gate. [ laughter ] this has been "back in my day." we'll be right back for more [ cheers and applause ] pa, i know we settle for cable... but directv has been number one in customer satisfaction over cable for 15 years. (father) how 'bout over 15 satisfying years withe boiling your clothes. her layers and layers of...layers. hair that i've rarely seenlways under that bonnet. and how she fought off that grizzly and made him into these slippers. that's satisfaction son.a settler, get a $100 reward card when you switch to directv. sorry... sorry... sorry, i was eating a milky way. ay in my tempur-pedic contour- the next thing i know it's morning. with tempur-flex you've got the spring and bounce of a traditional mattress and it also adjusts to my body. my cloud feels... hugging you. how can a bed do that? (vo) there's a tempur-pedic for pepsi cola so come try the largest variety of lobster dishes of the year, like lobster lover's dream it's a party on every

ha ha! that tickles! ha ha! green lights! she's looking good... [buzzer] or not. got a red on the ankle. hey! we'll take care of the deliveries. all you need to do is rest. one glarkian get-well grape smoothie just for you. i always wanted to try one of these. robo-doc says, "rest until your foot feels ok." she'll get plenty of rest. that way, you can heal up for the pingo-pongian water park super-slide next week. [fanfare] ooh! still warm from the dryer. and a remote-controlled starscreamer toy. else, just press this button. hmm! this is pretty sweet. maybe i do need rest. just take it easy. and remember, if you need us, just press the call button. [ah-ooh-gah] yaa! yaa! what?! just testing oh, sweet jupiter! just call them and say halley hurt her ankle! do you know how much time it would take to make 2,500 phone calls to thirsty vega nebulans? [ah-ooh-gah] aah! aah! halley! halley! [grunting] [grunting] what is it, halley? can i have some new comics? i've read all these. [grunting] aah! i got it! [ah-ooh-gah] aah! aah! can i get another blanket? it's a little chilly in here. please? wait a sec. i don't have to get out of bed. [ah-ooh-gah] whoa! halley, halley! what's wrong? hi, comet. i dropped the remote and robo-doc said i should rest, so... so, how's the ankle feeling? is it getting any better yet? um, well, you know, with this bandage on tight, it's hard to say. maybe another day or two of rest. don't worry. you'll get better soon. [ah-ooh-gah] whoa! ohh. ha! [panting] are you ok, halley? could you please fluff my pillow? oh, ooh! no problem! so, how are you feeling? any better? um, uh, not really. i mean, i think as long as i get plenty of rest, right? sounds good! whoops. hmm. hmm! oh! huh. [upbeat music plays] [stuffed animal squeaks] [bubbles pop] [loud sigh] halley! that was a sigh, not an "ah-ooh-gah." it's been a week of this. everything is starting to sound like an "ah-ooh-gah"! glark! never seen such thirsty-- hey, i just made a ginormous run, and you guys get to take a nap? what's up with that?! aah! i got it! halley, huh? so, what are we gonna do about the pingo-pongian water park? comet and sputnik: the pingo-pongian water park?! [ah-ooh-gah] ooh, that's better! i got all stiff lying in bed. everyone sure is taking good care of you, huh? must be nice. it's great! you're all so sweet. it's like being on vacation! is your ankle getting better? well, i guess i could try walking. step on it wrong? my gam-gam always says you know i

e ] ha ha, hmm-hmm, ha ha ha! hmm!eat, great music. i'm so excited about this. rita wilson is on the show. we've got music -- [ cheers and applause ] she can sing!a delight. she can sing.i was smurfing the world wide weird. >> steve: sure. >> jimmy: surfing the world wide web. and -- yeah.ernet. >> steve: oh, the internet? >> jimmy: yeah. and i came across this article on the website mashable.en hairstyles jimmy fallon should try that aren't 'ew.'" [ light laughter ] apparently, they think i should change my look. >> jimmy: yeah. not ew. so -- this is true. so they asked celebrity s to suggest some different hairstyles for me. and then they photoshopped them onto my head. i wasn't going to talk about nt pickup on the internet. so i thought maybe we could look at a few and you tell me. a a hairstyle called "just belieb." [ laughter ] >> steve: nice. >> jimmy: i don't know if i can >> steve: need some tips. >> jimmy: she wants me to dye my hair as well? >> steve: yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: it's like a a justin bieber -- i don't know. oovy baby." >> steve: yeah. [ laught