. >> jennifer kaban and you changed it to molly crabapple.ou described in a part of the book this physical trans pormentation. i wondered whether the nude work was also part of that sort of physical experimentation. >> it actually, i never thought of it that way. i had broken up with my long-term boyfriend since i was 15 years old, i guess. and i was 19 and living in new york and i need to get a job obviously, and i think that it was just the time when there were so many changes in my life happening all at once. >> it's interesting how you're able to dig deeper into it in your memoir. you wrote, i wanted to see if i could work in a field as fraught and sigmatized as sex and emerge unscathed. toichltd burn off childhood. did you emerge from that experience unscathed? >> who emerges from life unscathed? men, for instance, are always encouraged to go out into the world and get wounds. right? so many men i have known have joined the military not to defend their country but because they wanted today have an adventure soo many do all sorts of risky