and if you really want to fit in, always look out for number one. >> hasan minhaj, everybody, >> hasan bac think you know t-mobile's coverage? think again! >> hasan minhaj, everybody, we'll be right bac in the last year we've doubled our lte coverage. our new extended-range lte now reaches twice as far... ...and is 4 times better in buildings. see for yourself at t-mobile.com slash coverage. ( ♪ ) ♪ i'm walkin', yes indeed ♪ ♪ and i'm talkin' 'bout you and me ♪ ♪ i'm hopin' that you'll come back to me ♪ ♪ yeah ♪ i'm lonely as i can be ♪ ♪ i'm waitin' for your company ♪ ♪ i'm hopin' that you'll come back to me ♪ ( ♪ ) >> welcome back to the daily show, thank you, everyone, thank you. my guest swufn the stars of the broadway musical "the color purple" you got to leave ♪. you got to stay you need to stay, you better stay. ♪ you ought to stay. ♪ >> trevor: please welcome daniele brooks. (cheers and applause) >> thank you, thank you. what a lovely audience you have. hmmmm. (applause). >> trevor: is, i mean i'm so used to seeing you in prison overalls. >> i know. no makeup, no hair. >> trevo

roy wood, jr., hasan minhaj, everybody. please stop singing. please, stop. thank you so much.m always looking for real honey for honey nut cheerios. well you've come to the right place. mind if i have another taste? not at all mmm part of a complete breakfast that would be the sound of your alarm going off.? unfortunately, your other alarm went off every few hours throughout the night... which means you're going to be alarmingly tired at work today. listen, the truth is as a parent you'll never get enough sleep. but you can get this: a great tasting 5-hour energy® shot. it'll help you be bright eyed and bushy tailed, just like him. now is the time for 5-hour energy®. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back too "the daily show." my guest tonight is a fox news political analyst and author. his new book is called "we the people." please welcome juan williams. ( cheers and applause ) >> thank you so much. by the way, trevor, i totally called third month mania. >> trevor: you did? >> trump supporters don't believe in global warming. so they had that. i mean, they had a knoc

hasan minhaj has more. >> islamafobia, in case you haven't noticed, it's still a big problem in americaslam hates us. >> we need to empower law enforcement to patrol and secure muslim neighborhoods. >> we better wake up and smell the fall avel. >> as a muslim in the united states, i learned how to deal with it i act superwhite, like a brown ryan sea kz crest but what about those people that look muslim but aren't. like this person, he said he refused to remove the cherished symbol of his faith. >> a turbin which as a seek he wears everywhere but for some reason it makes people uncomfortable. >> almost every time i fly back to the u.s. i get a secretariary screening. and it's not just a problem at an airport. it's not just an problem for me, on the streets. i'm always wondering why do i get profiled. >> i think it's the whole-- . >> yeah, people assume that seikhs are muslims and that is primarily a issue because seikhs are an independent religion. >> i know that and i'm sure americans probably know that too. don't sell them short. they know a lot more than you think. >> what is a what.

hasan minhaj, everyone. we'll be right back. ♪ there it is... this is where i met your grandpa.things are worth holding onto. they're hugging the tree. (man) that's why we got a subaru. or was it that tree? (man) the twenty-sixteen subaru outback. love. it's what makes a subaru, a subaru. that would be the sound of your alarm going off.? unfortunately, your other alarm went off every few hours throughout the night... which means you're going to be alarmingly tired at work today. listen, the truth is as a parent you'll never get enough sleep. but you can get this: a great tasting 5-hour energy® shot. it'll help you be bright eyed and bushy tailed, just like him. now is the time for 5-hour energy®. ♪ with intuitive all-wheel drive. take on the unexpected. this... is how it begins... with a mighty roar... that tells the world... we're coming for you. tshoah, ha ha.ew artist. show me top male artist. my whole belieber fan group. it's not a competition, but if it was i won. xfinity x1 lets you access the greatest library of billboard music awards moments, simply by using your voice.

hasan minhaj, everyone.ght back. ♪ [ hawk squawk ] start boldly with the apple that bites back. [ whip cracks ] redd's wicked apple. it's about to get wicked. nversus the lube strip. with a hydrating gel reservoir that gives you 40% less friction. so, it's designed like no other razor to protect from irritation. sorry, lube strip. schi hydro®. free your skin®. the new craftsman pro series riding mowers. ♪ now available with power steering. so you can turn with ease. available with the tightest turning radius in the industry. and powerful v twin engines with up to 26 horsepower. because the beer you drink after you mow your lawn tastes better than the beer you drink after someone else mows your lawn. craftsman. when it matters. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is the former governor of vermont and the former chairman of the democratic national committee. please welcome howard dean. ( cheers and applause ) welcome to the show. >> nice to be on the show. >> t

so let's go to hasan minhaj and roy wood, jr. look at this round's most infuriating contenders! ♪ (cheers and applause) >> thanks, trevor. we made it to the third round. the field is narrowed and we've said bye-bye to some teams that just couldn't piss off enough people to make the cut. >> yeah. the kardashians. >> get your asses out of there! but we're down to 16 infuriating teams. we have to keep our eyes on martin shkreli who somehow beat out bill cosby in the first round. >> yep. then he went on to crush old people in the second round! they are very brittle, roy. >> now hasan faces his toughest challenge yet when he squares off against the united states congress. >> ooh, okay. and this game and in real life, they're going to head to head. this is an interesting matchup on a philosophical level, roy. are people madder about one specific asshole or a whole building of assholes? >> congress is like a costco of assholes. more assholes than anyone could ever need! (cheers and applause) just pallets of assholes. you bring home a 50

and if you really want to fit in, always look out for number one. >> hasan minhaj, everybody, we'll beight bac for a limited time, you can get a great deal on this passat. wow, it looks really good... volkswagen believes safety is very important... so all eleven models come standard with an intelligent crash response system... hmm. ...seven stability-enhancing systems... hmmm... ...and equipment for two child seats. hmmm... for those who take safety seriously. like we do. the volkswagen safety in numbers event... is happening now! get a $1,250 volkswagen reward card and 0% apr on new 2016 passat models. and with touch id it does way more than unlock your phone. it logs you into things, like your bank account. see what i mean? it checks you into your flight. ooop, your phone! it pays for stuff like... (mouth full) doughnuts. how about chew then talk. it unlocks things for you. it signs documents for you. hey, you bought a boat! i bought a boat! i just said that. and it does this. yeah, it starts your car. so now we're just starting cars with our fingerprints. just. whoa. case in point:

roy wood, jr., hasan minhaj, everybody. please stop singing. please, stop.growing at an alarming rate. growing fast, you say? we can't contain it any long... oh! you know, that reminds me of how geico's been the fastest-growing auto insurer for over 10 years straight. over ten years? mhm, geico's the company your friends and neighbors trust. and deservedly so. indeed. geico. expect great savings and a whole lot more. say they'll save youfor every by switching,surance companies you'd have like a ton of dollars. but how are they saving you those dollars? a lot of companies might answer "um..." or "no comment". then there's esurance - born online, raised by technology and majors in efficiency. so whatever they save, you save: hassle, time, paper work, hair tearing out and, yes, especially dollars. that's auto and home insurance for the modern world. esurance. backed by allstate. click or call. come with your choice of soup or salad and a side of homestyle fries. order from over 15 different lunch combos for just 6, 7, or 8 bucks. ♪ got to get up if you want to

hasan minhaj, everyone. be right back. [ electricity buzzing ] start boldly with the apple that bites back. redd's wicked apple. it's about to get wicked. ) verizon is the number one network in america. i know what you're thinking, they all claim stuff like that. yeah, but some of them stretch the truth a little bit. like this. faster, more reliable and better coverage than ever. and it shows the coverage there. uh, oh, hold on. oh! map is not a depiction of coverage! well, then what's the point? i'm speechless. only verizon has the largest 4g lte network in america. and now if you buy a samsung galaxy s7 edge, you get one free. who know it wasn't a day at the beach...rough it. unless someone got buried. to the fullbacks... gearheads... and those with green thumbs. to the sticky... the stinky... even those who get a little icky. to all the beautiful mess makers, keep it up... with delta in2ition plus h2okinetic, you can. see what delta can do. muddling through your morning is nothing new. ...your nose is the

roy wood, jr., hasan minhaj, everybody. please stop singing.e thiining, they all claim stuff like that. yeah, but some of them are stretching the truth a little bit. one claimed to be four times better. we said, four times better than who? they said, four times better than we used to be. wh-wh-wha? if you're four times better than you used to be and you're still not the best, your tagline should be, "not as rubbish as we were." (sighs) only verizon is the nation's most awarded wireless network ever. now get 20 gigs on 4 lines for $80 when you switch to the best network. into the frozen wilderness. the scent of his jerky attracted a hungry wolfpack behind him. to survive, he had to remain fearless. he would hunt with them. and expand their territory. he'd form a bond with a wolf named accalia... ...become den mother and nurse their young. james left in search of his next adventure. how far will you take the all-new rav4 hybrid? toyota. let's go places. ♪ dentastix cleans... so you can get closer. our partnership with habitat for humanity at pg&e