from an early age he wanted to be exempt from the ord nair. he wanted to excel. first as a student and later as a writer and he wanted others to recognize him. he wanted to be read in 100 years. as soon as he succeeded, if he earned an a-plus he grew uneasy and then disparking. he wanted to be a good person and suspected crooked about the way achieved success. something false. wallace was haunted as he wrote himself by the fraud fraudulent. >> he was always on high alert. always sensitive to signs of the impossible store. in the margins of a book he scribbled the following. grant me os aty the constant need to be and seen as a superstar. something about this notion stuck and became a thought, one that made him feel very bad whenever he encountered, something that threatened his sense and any number of things could. critical praise. success, romantic attention. someone laughing at his jokes. in such moments his life became a lonely performance. everything else receded into the back groinltsdz. the feeling encompassed him more each time he experienced it, gaining t