i wanted to do it all right. at safeway i thought i was ready and i wasn't.o sense in the urgency of getting back out there and doing it again, make sure your stuff is ready and when your stuff is ready, let's go. charlie: you will know. tiger: i will know. [laughter] charlie: jasper and others have says you are back. have you had those kinds of rounds? tiger: i have done that at home but knowing that i have to do it in a scoring environment on a pj -- the pga tour, doing that again, i was not quite ready for it yet. because this is the longest layoff i have ever had in my career, i have never had this long a layoff, my feels are not quite what they used to be. i need more practice time at home. playing more money games at home, some of the young guys coming out there. charlie: do golfers live around you? tiger: there are three pros -- 33 pros who play out there. i have been playing with them. charlie: it is the difference between the driving range and the course the difference between playing around with friends and tournament. tiger: ranger rick is one thin

i felt like i had a schedule and i had a plan. i never knew what weekends felt like. for the first time, i actually know that there's a saturday and a sunday and i'm actually looking forward to those days. before, your mindset is so different. the weekends are grand slam finals. charlie: some of the best tennis may be ahead of you. maria: i hope so. i just got the best gifts that i could have got for my 30th birthday. charlie: you have some reason to believe they had reduced -- they would reduce the suspension based on what they had done in the past with some variety of occasions. maria: but you never know. past hasribunal in the been overruled by c.a.s. in the last six times, including my case. so you can be optimistic and hopeful, but -- charlie: it is your life and career at stake. maria: yes. i went into the c.a.s. hearing with a different mindset. i went into it as, you know what, this is my career on the line. i'm going to do something about it. it was more of an internal feeling. charlie: do you feel like it is fair to say you are tough in the face of adversity

and say i regret what i did. >> no, i don't say that. i say everybody makes mistakes and the reason why mommy's living in her house and daddy is living in his house is because daddy made mistakes and it's okay. but do you know what, you guys are so lucky to have two parents that love you so much. not everyone has that. i was lucky enough to have two lucky parents, two loving parents. my father did not. his parents died by the time he was 11 or 13. he grew up without having parents. my mom's parents died early. and so that to me i think is important in the end is that my kids know that no matter what happens, that they always have dad. dad will always be there. and mom will always be there. she said we just don't live together physically. but emotionally and spiritually, we were always there with him. >> rose: you feel like you've apologized to everybody you need to apologize to. >> yes. >> rose: in terms of family and people that you care about. >> yes. >> rose: did it make you more vulnerable. >> i wouldn't say more vulnerable as a word

i used it as i have used you. i am sorry. have his grace, i will not impose on you or the church by asking to where it any longer. i can only promise that i will pay back what my lies have caused, to pray to god for forgiveness. it seems some of you have short-lived memories. dominguez, when you were sick last year, who gave you your medicine? >> father sanchez. >> remember when you broke your leg? >> father sanchez. >> how many of you wear shoes be do you not understand that that is how your offering was stolen? i yourselves -- by yourselves. what he has done is not right. the padre knows that. but he is a good man. the lord does not have that beautiful. it only needs his blessing. padre, please. >> mano, i can't help, but i would like to try. the good things that come out of the statue, well, they don't have no market value. they don your little lady here. and i tried. i just didn't get through. >> please, padre, bless her, for the people. music plays ) ( applause ) like it, mr. wooster? the best i've seen since st. joe. yo

i thought it was so fun and i loved -- i mean, i got really into it. i thought that was my calling. >> yeah. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i really did. >> i think that if you -- there is that moment, i think, in every catholic child's life where you go, maybe, maybe that's -- yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. i really thought that was it. i think it was kind of -- i forget who we had on the show. but they said, that might have been your first stage experience. >> but it is, isn't it? because you're on a -- it's actually an altar. >> jimmy: altar, yeah. it's not a stage at all. but, no, your mom is in the pew in front of you going, like, "go, ring the bill, jimmy." [ light laughter ] "you're the best bell ringer." she really was. >> that answer as lot of questions. >> jimmy: oh, really? yeah. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: that my mom -- yeah. >> no, for, like, why a a performer. yeah, yeah. got it. >> jimmy: oh, i got the bug. i loved it. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and i used to do weddings. i love the smell of incense. >> do weddings? >> jimmy: yeah, i was the altar boy at peo

i don' know, i read that once... that's why more people save money by combining their home and auto with state farm. life go right, state farm. follow your own sense of style... because, you want to be confident. t.j.maxx really helped us express our creative side. that's the best part. you don't know what you're going to find. we're a team. yeah. maxx life at t.j.maxx. initiating retrieval sequence. target acquired. dang it! ah! come on! astronauts can vote from space. make time for snapple. electrical charges live at the heart of every hybrid. only a few... truly move us. with over one million on the road, lexus hybrids are always charged and always ready. devour, say my name! the little sounds your crispy bacon makes drive me crazy. you naughty little... did you just spank your lunch? food you want to fork. introducing devour. alexa, ask 1-800 flowers to order tina roses. ok. alexa, ask uber for a ride. ok. ?? [ applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everyby. you know, being the host of "late night" is a demanding job

i don't know what i said, i don't remember.hink we need more love and kindness in our country. that's why it's important to stand up to bullies wherever they are, and why we shouldn't let anybody bully his way into the presidency. because that is not who we are as americans. i'm hillary clinton and i approve this message. but pat toomey actually owned a bank. most people owe the bank. and when he went to washington, he voted to change the laws... to benefit wall street and banks like his. voting to gut consumer protections that crack down... on predatory lending and fraud. to take money from you and... line the pockets of wall street millionaires like... himself. pat toomey: out for himself, all in for wall street. dscc is responsible for the content of this advertising. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to ethan hawke, phil collins once again! [ cheers and applause ] the roots from philadelphia. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope

and i am going to do wlafr i can, i am 60 years old, i left i was 18 years old, and i am 60 years old now, so i don't know if i have 18 years left on this side, but whatever i have left i am going to dedicate to krim gnat justi natural justice and g to get reforms. >> thank you. >> next speaker? >> good afternoon i supervisor mar and farrell, and so happy to be here and let me start off to say that i am really just impressed with the level of leaders that have come up to the mic and it is a testament to our city and what what with he have done, my name is jose bernal. like many first generation immigrant families, my family settled in the tender loin, that is where i grew up and although, half of my childhood was spent, going from couch to couch and floor to floor, i always tell the people that i grew up are privileged and when i say that, because my month thoer is the most living and i am if here she never gave up on me. even when i wore the orange jump suit, she is the reason that i am here. a big reason i am a survivor of violence, i went to the galel high school and i remember one

i said, when i came out here -- i said, nobody says it the other way. it has to be ne-vah-da. [ applause ] >> jimmy: "i'd never get it [ laughter ] especially here in las vegas." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] "i guess it's like that old saying, you say potato, i say wrong." [ laughter and applause ] trump also talked about his running mate, mike pence's performance at the v.p. debate this week. of course, trump never has been known to exaggerate. on this one. check this out. >> i'd argue that mike had the single most decisive victory in the history of vice presidential debates. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, but winning the vice president debate is like winning a $2 scratch-off. [ laughter ] it's cool, i guess, but it doesn't change anything. [ applause ] i guess i'm a winner? i don't know. give me another one. donald trump's former accountant is speaki o about trump's 1995 tax returns. here he is giving his side of the story on "inside edition." take a look. >> how involved was donald trump in preparing his taxes? or did he just hand everyth

i was on the verge of wanting to do it. i was times what i was making.e no and no one to me yes. but me. >> she reached a turning point with internet stalkers driving by her house and she knew she had to make a change. that was 20 years ago. while she used to rush to every lineup, today she is one of the few women at the ranch who works by appointment only. she spends her days at her own home away from the brothel and most of her work is not done in the bedroom. >> this is where i answer my clients. i spend seven to eight hours a day and answering mail. if you don't utilize the tools, you won't do well. i'm on it all day long. >> do you have dates coming up? >> i have a booking tomorrow. he's 24. he wants to do multiple positions. learn how to truly pleasure a woman. >> you have a guy named grizzly flying in. >> this is exciting because when i first started at the bunny ranch, he was one of my customers then. >> have you been corresponding with him? >> every day. he is on my twitter. she in my pm. i go in my mail, he's in my mail. >> he could be obsessed

i don't know why i thought i should audition but i did and i got the part. >> jimmy: you did, right away. [ cheers and applause ] >> they paid me. >> jimmy: and you got paid? >> it was for nbc. nbc used to make their sort of after school specials. do you remember after school >> jimmy: oh, yeah, i wish they would bring that back. >> fantastic. there was always an important lesson to be learned. >> jimmy: the boy who was trapped in a wall and swallowed a nerf football. >> i remember that one. i don't remember that one. >> jimmy: mom, i saw you smoking, that kind of thing. >> yes, yes. just basic civility, decency, how to exist in the world, you know, and make friends. >> jimmy: we learned so much from those things. >> i did one called "the almost royal family." overheard her parents saying that they had inherited a small and worthless island. and therefore she assumed she was -- it was official, she was part of a monarchy. and so she got a big head, see. she went around town losing all her friends. and i think she was -- i think maybe people had to curtsy and things. >> jimmy: wow. >> but

i had -- i don't want to say i had a negative experience with dr.ired him to help me with something. we have the video. >> i haven't seen this. what's this? >> jimmy: got to be kidding me. where is this guy? >> hi, i'm dr. steven strange, master of the mystic arts. sorry i'm late, but the traffic was unbelievable. >> jimmy: it's 3:30. i'm not paying for the last half hour. >> nice to meet you too. show me the demons. >> jimmy: all right. here they are. [ screaming ] >> i don't understand. are they possessed? >> jimmy: basically. they ate, like, 50 cup cakes. >> all right. i'll vanquish them. >> jimmy: no. no vanquishing. just do tricks. pull a rabbit out of somewhere. >> a rabbit? i think there's a misunderstanding. i don't do tricks. >> jimmy: you don't do tricks? >> no. >> jimmy: this clearly says the mightiest magician in the cosmos. >> everyone exaggerates their profile, don't they? look at yours. jimmy kimmel, america's favorite late night host. >> jimmy: that's true, is it not true? >> is it? >> jimmy: that's a cute necklace. is that etsy? >>

i opened the computer and i see my e-mail and i get an e-mail from donald trump. i got a personal e-mail from mr. donald trump who offered me, as you'll see, an exclusive trump presidential black card. i got this for real. it said you should get one of these, james. he calls me james. at my inauguration next year, million people, but only a few will have presidential black cards. that's right. for a one time initiation fee of $35 can get a card that has no benefits or rewards whatsoever. a black card? is this how he's reaching out to the black community, with the card? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there's another thing i'm wondering about. how did donald trump get my to do it. i didn't give it to him. there's also a trump gold card. that's $49. you can get the black card for $35, or the less exclusive card for $14 more. there's finally a card that's more embarrassing to cover than discover. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i am also running for office, and i am offering a card too. can i get my podium he [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i am proud to announce and present the fir

ahh, i don't know what i said, uhh, i don't remember. he's a mexican. i could stand in the middle of fifth avenue violence causes pain. hate can rip us apart. i know what can happen as the result of hate, and donald trump should never be our president. priorities usa action is responsible for the content of this advertising. ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, about millie bobby brown, caleb mclaughlin, gaten matarazzo and finn wolfhard. [ applause ] now, we are about to play a new game called "stranger strings." and here's how it works. before the show, we all wrote down a few facts about ourselves that no one else knows. i don't know you, we're kind of strangers. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. these cards right here. okay? so also we have full cans of silly string. we are going to take turns reading a card then we count to three. remember, that's very important. >> okay. >> okay. >> jimmy: we count to three then everyone sprays silly string at the person they think wrote that card. >> all right. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: and it can't always

i like that. last night from las vegas, trump versus clinton three, and just like that we're one step closer to never having to watch cable news again. it was the third most watched debate in history. more than 71 million people watched/screamed at their tv. there were a few more catch phrases and guillermo got a new hat out of it. >> that's right. are you selling those? >> no. they're free for the bad hombres. >> jimmy: the only problem is he pronounced the word homres like this. >> we have some bad ombr?s and we're going to get them -- >> jimmy: they mean what? >> hungry. >> jimmy: hungry man dinners in spanish? >> ombr? hombre. >> jimmy: there were a number of zingers last night. i thought this was a good one too. >> it is up to us to make that true now and in the future and particularly for our children and or grandchildren. >> mr. trump? >> nobody has more respect for [ applause ] >> jimmy: that was good. donald trump respects women more than even they respect themselves. that's important to

>> i know i shouldn't do this but i can't resist because i have been listening to mr. hart now for about a year 1/2, and for the most part, commissioner kopp's spontaneous reaction is something that the fact that the rest of us don't constantly do it through mr. hart's presentation shows i think great strength of will on the part of the rest of us because mr. hart, it's not a question of interrupting you or not wanting to hear what you say, but, for every month you get up 20 times with a spiel that is identical and you say the same thing over and over and over again. obviously in all of that noise that you make, there are certain nuggets of wisdom and things that would be beneficial for us to consider. i really try my best to try and pierce through all that fog that you send this way to fair them out, but it's hard. so i have to see that our newest commissioners rather human reaction is one that everyone of us have wanted to make but i have just been, we haven't. so that's since we are having these dialogues back and forth with the public tonight and we don't usually d

steve: i -- i -- just taken aback. i...er come off as a bully, it's not who i want you to think i am. for that, i apologize. so if i come across that way, just say, "excuse me?" just stop me, stop me, please. lemonis: you really understand manufacturing. would you agree? steve: yes. lemonis: what would you say your strong suit is in the business? steve: sales, managing, client relationships. lemonis: and so your talent and your skill has to be shared across the enterprise. steve: okay. lemonis: just like i want her skill and her talent to be shared across the enterprise, as well. you are the leader of the global business. your job is to make sure that the manufacturing process, the quality control, the sales, those things stay intact. i see ana laying over the whole organization to review designs before they go to clients. i do not want a design to leave without her at least getting a look at it. just like i don't want a sales quote going to a customer without you signing off on it. steve: of course i'm fearful of letting g

i thought i was still here. i love what i do, i love the people. people feel like they've grown up with me, that i'm a sister or a favorite aunt or something. so i think people just want to come along with i'm glad they're still with me. shows at the hollywood bowl over the weekend. >> great time. >> jimmy: isn't that one of the greatest places? >> it is. i love it and it's having all these -- great energy. the people, a lot of people i work with around here. >> jimmy: we see a lot of the industry people. >> yeah, my doctors. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they all hit you up for tickets? >> i told them, i'm a self-made woman and i've got the doctor bills to prove it. [ laughter ] wave atou in the audience. dress up like you and come to the concert. >> do they ever, yeah. >> jimmy: is that weird? >> it's fun. i'm used to it. i have a huge gay following. >> jimmy: same here. [ laughter ] >> i'm proud of them. i see so many drag queens out there. i see so many girls that look more like me than i do. [ laughter ] when i see them out there i start doing -- ins

and i loved it. >> well, you know, when i first got to the senate, i got elected when i was 29. before i turned 30, or just after i turned 30, i was down hiring staff. my wife and daughter were killed in an automobile and my two boys were really badly injured. and i thought i was a decent father before then. but you realize that, you know, in my generation, it was about quality time instead of quantity time. there is no such thing as quality time. every important thing your child will say to you will be off script, as they say. will be at a time when you don't expect it. and kids can hold an idea for maybe 12, 14 hours. but after that, it's gone, man. you lose it. and this idea of the way wl you know? i had to take red eye to get home for a birthday. but you know, it really doesn't matter that much to my wife, her birthday. or if i just make this business trip, i'll miss his last football game but he'll understand. a bunch of malarkey. it's just not true. it's not true. and i don't want anybody in my staff feeling an obligation to do something for me when there is something that

yeah, i, uh, i don't know how to explain that. i, uh, i loved that part. i don't know how to-- >> right. >> i don't know how to get out of that one. >> you've had kind of a -- [ laughter ] you had kind of a -- we don't know each other well. but you've had kind of a crazy, up and down career, in a way. >> yeah, it's been really insane. i'll tell you something, though. i saw you give a speech one night, that's one of the most memorable things i've ever witnessed. >> what was that? >> of anybody. it was at wasser-- i can't remember if it was wasserman's 50th-- >> lou wasserman, 50 years at mca. >> at mca. >> yeah. >> that was amazing. >> you're kidding. >> i mean, you just blew me apart with that. >> well, i was just out doing some jokes and stuff like that. >> oh, boy, no, it was great. >> yeah. >> it was a great speech. >> well, we gotta get together more often. [ laughter ] >> were you there, that night? >> no. >> no. >> well, that's very nice of you. >> i came over to thank you. and you were very shy. >> yeah. >> and sort of couldn't accept the thanks. an

and the part about the story i-- i enjoy the story-- i enjoy the story, but the part i enjoy about the story is the way i-- one of the first times you and i had a conversation was about our period of time both briefly at "s.n.l." and i told you that story not remembering you were the kid that norm was fighting. >> right, yeah. >> stephen: and you went-- >> yeah, that's me. >> stephen: so that's kind of how we met. >> yes. but very weird to meet again because i think we were shooting a promo for "daily show, ""colbert report" election coverage. >> stephen: right, the night obama was elected, that night, right? >> no, we were shooting a promo for it. >> stephen: no, that night, a >> yeah. he did get elected, right? >> stephen: yeah. >> things have been a little hazy for me. >> stephen: so now you've got a show called people. >> of aircraft. people abducted by aliens, and it's a support group. >> it's a show about a support group for people who think they've been abducted by aliens. >> stephen: and you shot this in canada. >> yeah, we filmed in toronto, canada. >> stephen: do you like tho

i do it. when i ran a second time, i was, i had missed 14% of the votes the first time. and i ran against a good guy. and he had a very effective ad. he said, would you hire someone who missed 14 days out of every hundred days? he won't work for you. and i never missed a vote, they were decisive procedural votes. i went on the air and i said, look, elect me again. and i have a choice between a a procedural vote or going on a going to the parent-teacher meeting. and if i can hold myself to that -- [ applause ] by the way, it is a lot easier for me because i have a million employers. no, i really mean it. it is harder when you have a a boss. so i felt, if could i do that, i should not hold my staff to any different standard. and by the way, i get more productivity out my staff than people get who are you know demanding. [ laughter ] figure it out. we can talk. we can talk. don't even think about it. the cue card guys are already leaving. hey roman, nothing is happening this late at night. okay, no ballgames are on right now. >> anyway, >> jimmy: i want to tell you. i thoug

i wouldn't -- i wouldn't know if i was in charge of what i would do now where i was when you were there. this is pretty amazing. new data from the hubble space telescope shows that the universe has two trillion galaxies, which is ten times more than previously thought. the good news is, none of those galaxies are made by samsung. so we're going to be all right. [ applause ] we're going to be okay. we're going to be all right. we'rin >> steve: it blowed up. >> jimmy: oh, a new article claims that taco bell has become one of the healthiest food chains after taking artificial ingredients out of their food and offering lighter options. so next time you go to taco bell, be sure to order their new healthy option - - fistful of lettuce. there you go. [ laughter and applause ] really healthy. >> steve: so good. so good. crunchy. >> jimmy: you want me to feed you? you could use your hand if you want to. little controversy here. [ laughter and applause ] little controversy. houston rockets guard, bobby brown, has apologized after he wrote his name and jersey number on the great wall of china. he

>> no, i watched it when i was sick. >> stephen: i loved "the price is right" because i knew if i was watching it, that mean mom bought whatever i was selling her, you know. she believe they had didn't feel well. >> it got to be really popular-- to an hour in '75. when i went to college it started out as an hour-long show and was popular. i used to watch it. i never watched it when i was a kid because i was never around. in college i watched it between classes. a lot of people don't know this, but when i was in college i scheduled one whole season of classes around "the gong show." that's what kind of freak i was. "the gong show "and daytime game shows were more important the class is at 1:00. i won't go to that one. i guess i'll change my major. >> stephen: you called "the price is right" a calling marine job. what do you mean a calling? >> i have said that to people. i feel like everything i have done in my life has prepared me to be the host of "the price is right." all my stand-up experience, all my improv experience, the idea that i hosted another show, you know, "whose line is i

i mean, i eat, breathe -- i don't -- i don't, like, do anything else but work.e made my friends through this company. i don't have, like, a relationship. i don't have, like, kids. this is all i have. lemonis: it's clear to me that patrick has invested everything -- not just financially, but emotionally, as well. so this would be devastating for him... patrick: here we are. lemonis: ...if it doesn't work out. everything happens here? patrick: yeah, it's kind of like the central brain of the company, i guess. hi, guys. this is marcus. chris: i'm chris. nice to meet you. noel: noel. lemonis: noel, nice to meet you. is this your company? chris: yes. yes, it is. lemonis: what do you do for dilascia? chris: we do his silk screening. -lemonis: all of it? -chris: all of it. lemonis: and where are their screens? chris: patrick's on this side, and then our other customers. this whole wall's him? chris: most of it, yes. lemonis: and how much of this actually is the bulk of the business? let's say there's how many screens here? -noel: over 200. -lemonis: 200. and how many o

i am input cautious. i am hedged.. >> let me ask you about the election because its outcome both at the top of the ticket and then downstream, could obviously impact where stocks and bonds trade from here. you have continued to defend county donald trump in the face of things that have emerged from what he has said years ago. has your support waivered? >> look. i believe -- i still support donald trump. i think this whole business that tenl years ago, yes, he had a conversation on a bus. to me it's sort of absurd. i mean, you go -- it's almost hypocritical to say isn't it terrible, isn't it terrible, when 90% -- guys, you have gone to bachelor parties and locker rooms. 90 pi 90% of people when they are laughing or drinking at a bar say things. women say things about men. that is part of life. i'm not here to say he is running the campaign the way i would run it. i think, obviously, and a lot of people have said it, and i have said it to him, he should stick to the issues and stick to them and stick to them. the issues

jeff: i didn't get to do a lot of stuff that i wish i had while he was growing up. just wasn't around. lemonis: where were you? jeff: messing around, trying to figure out my life. i didn't get to watch him play t-ball, softball, soccer. taylor: i mean, it is weird. we started kind of going fishing when i was about 18. we're trying to learn each other. this has allowed us to build a relationship. jeff: you know, i wanted to bring my son on board not only to teach him -- lemonis: so you guys started this business together? jeff: well, i started it in 2012. lemonis: so, when did you come on board? taylor: the summer of '13, i left school. lemonis: you left college to start a tea business with your dad? where'd you go to college? taylor: university of texas in austin. lemonis: why did you think it was a good idea to leave college? taylor: because he asked me to. lemonis: that's why you left? taylor: i mean, that was the start, but then ultimately, i saw opportunity. lemonis: so, how far away were you from graduating? taylor: about two full semesters. lemonis: so you had

i am sorry for you, though. i am. i'm sorry for you. >> john: looks like waiting tables-- again. ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) >> james: huge thanks to john krasinski, we love him. stick around. we'll be right back with john, jimmy butler and adam pally. come on back! coming up on "look! famous people!" we catch flo, the progressive girl, at the supermarket buying cheese. scandal alert! flo likes dairy?! woman: busted! [ laughter ] right afterwards we caught her riding shotgun with a mystery man. oh, yeah! [ indistinct shouting ] is this your chauffeur? what?! no, i was just showing him how easy it is to save with snapshot from progressive. you just plug it in and it gives you a rate based on your driving. [ light laughter ] laugh bigger. [ laughter ] [?diggy? by spencer ludwig] it's endless shrimp at red lobster. with another new flavor you never saw coming... grilled, glazed korean bbq shrimp. new parmesan peppercorn shrimp. ( band playing ) ( applause ) now, let's meet our guests tonight. he directed and sta

i have been writing since i was a teenager, but it was not anything -- i have -- i think i am an ambitious i did not know how to start going about pursuing that. it is an industry where you do sort of know how to get your foot in the door. charlie: and you were not asking? sturgill: no. but she stopped me when i and said, you are pretty good and i know that you love it, so why don't you do something with it? charlie: do what you love. sturgill: and i have always worked odd jobs. i guess i had a strong work ethic, so the second i could apply that is something i really loved, everything fell into place. charlie: not everybody can write songs like you do. you did not go to school to get this. sturgill: school was never my strong point. [laughter] charlie: it was life. and maybe a poet's vision. sturgill: to be honest, i probably right poems more than than songsetry more and i figure out how to put them to music when i get into the studio. but the expression of words is where it starts. charlie: so when they compare you to waylon jennings, you say, i will take that? sturgill: i will take it. i

robyn: i don't know where he is! i don't know! laurie: i left a text, and i left a message.s he's supposed to be here. and he knows that everybody's working their butts off. and he knows that i'm tired of this behavior. and yet once again, he's missing in action. ♪ hey, howard, it's marcus. it's 1:00, and i'm not sure where you are or why you're not showing up. everybody's here working hard, and there's literally a wall empty of knives. so it would be nice of you to at least call back and tell us if you're alive because i may kill you when you get here. thanks. this is a very different glass presentation than what you used to have. robyn: yeah, i picked things that i thought were interesting. there's a mix of price points. i got all these beakers with, like, high-end... lemonis: you did a really nice job. here's howie! howard: hey, marcus. how are you? lemonis: nice of you to show up. howard: yeah. lemonis: the report that i'm getting is that everybody and robyn are working their ass off, but you sort of roll in whenever it's convenient. howard: it's august. i always go away

i think at least to play golf, i hope.t's an unbelievable facility. >> i have not played, but i have been. it is beautiful. for some reason, it looked easy, but it wasn't. it's because of those guys. right? i mean, it's those guys. >> it is not easy. that's -- it's a beautiful course. it's absolutely outstanding. by the way, they even had to bring in extra rest rooms. they did everything that they needed to do to make sure that the event was perfect because there were so many people. the overflows were incredible. >> it was perfect. it was, like, 16-12 or something. you seeing action in an oil name today. people are selling puts. they're bullish. is that it? >> you're exactly right. last week we highlighted the fact when volatility was extroemly low, we had buyers of baker hughes, and he were this buying the upside called, joe, and now what we're seeing today is as volatility started to creep back into the marketplace, and we're seeing it in some of the energy names, you look over at halliburton. these two names were actua

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i never practice i only perform ? ? i don't even warn i don't eat it warm i won't be reborn ? ? i speak to god in public i speak to god in public ? ? he keep my rhymes in couplets he think the newish jam ? ? i think we mutual fans i used to dance to michael i used to dance in high school ? i still pass out music ? ? the people's champ must be everything the people can't be ? ? i'm getting artsy-fartsy house full of some hebrew brantleys ? ? you must've missed the come up i must be all i can be ? ? call me mister mufasa i had to master stampedes ? ? i made it through made it through made it through ? ? and everything i gave to you i gave to you i gave to you ? ? you got it you got it you got it ? ? it's coming it's comco ? so are you ready are you ready ? ? are you ready for your blessings are you ready for your miracle ? ? are you ready for your blessings are you ready ? are you ready for your blessings are you ready for your miracle ? ? are you ready for your blessings are you ready for your miracle ? ? are you ready so get you ready get ready are you ready ? ? so get ready are

and i practice and i try to get- - and then i get up there and i mess it up.ys, their names. i mean-- i can tell you, i think i've got it right. i'm looking at the name card, and it's like, no, it's not terry, it's ter-ree. i'm usually just like, "hey, sweetie, how are you doing?" i just have given up on that. >> stephen: it's colbert, you don't pronounce the "t." >> and it's not steve. it's stephen. >> stephen: that's exactly right. thank you for remembering. >> i remember that, i remember. >> stephen: that's very nice of you. >> because you're pretty touchy about that. ( laughter ) >> stephen: was there-- can you have an "oh, my god moment. i can't believe this is happening. this fun thing i got to do." >> so many. i, uh, sleepover at buckingham palace. >> stephen: what? >> yeah, what? >> stephen: did you and the queen paint each other's toenails or something like that? >> no, when they hosted us for the state dinner. when you're the guest country you stay at buckingham palace. i do remember ordering french fries at the palace. it was, they were good. they w

i got a pretty good understanding of what was so i literally, i walk out to my outer office and i saidfind steve kappes. he had retired in a bit of a non-happy incidents at the agency. they tracked they tracked him down at a railroad station in london. i got in touch with stephen i said steve thomas mike. mike. how are you doing? would you ever consider to be the deputy director of cia? and he says to me, will that would really depend a lot on who was the director. and i said i am not at liberty to discuss it but i am am the one making this call. and he said i will get back to you. about two hours later after he talked his wife he said okay. if you're going to be number one i would be happy to come back. we had a wonderful relationship. i talk about these meetings, yuma 5:00 o'clock meeting and these are operations, you're making decisions. very often i would be getting input and i would say okay we're going to do x. i would turn to stephen say are you are right with that? you know i wasn't given the decision to someone else, but just as a friend are you are right with that? and every

i give up a lot when i run because i knock out the tax code. and she could have done this years ago, by the way. she was a united states senator. she complains that donald trump took advantage of the tax why didn't you change it when you were a senator. the reason you didn't is that all your friends take the same advantage that i do. and i do. you have provisions in the tax code that frankly we could change. but you wouldn't change it because all of these people give you the money so you can take negative ads on donald trump. but and i say that about a lot of things. i have heard hillary complaining about so many different things over the years, i wish i would have done this, she has been there 30 years, she has been ge and she never will change. we are getting rid of carried interest provisions. i'm lowering taxes, actually, because i think it's so important for corporations because we have corporations,po massive corporations and little ones, little ones can't form. we're getting rid of regulations which goes hand-in-hand with the lowering of

but all the time i was dreaming, i guess i was afraid to. but a man like that, what would he want with me? darlene what do you say? no, really, i'm not rich. i'm not sophisticated. i'm not wise. and no one has ever said, "hey, wow, she's beautiful." that doesn't speak well for the men you have known. many. i have known a great number of women. some were of noble birth, some actresses, two or three were...l, let's not go into that. on the surface you would call them beautiful. but the warmth, the inner glow, the excitement wasn't there. thank you. thank you for reawakening the faith of a cynic. come, let me show you the lights of the city. that is the palatine. tiber is down there. and that is my palazzo. are you all right? of course i'm all right. i'm always all right.

i think i speak for all-american when's i respond -- americans when i respond what is canada again? and a study says female drivers suffer road rage more than males do. i could make a comment, but sexism is more of a shillue thing. is that a quote? >> yeah, it is a quote. let's welcome our guest. i never attend a meeting with the rules of order. from the jim norton and sam roberts morning show and the sam roberts wrestling pod cast, sam roberts. he enjoys life in the reasonable amount of speed lane. reason magazine editor in chief matt welch. she has been in more press rooms than a suit jacket at the dry-cleaners. national security analyst kt mcfarland. and he is not the anti-virus, norton. no, he is very pro-virus. sitting next to me and also from the jim norton and sam roberts xm, jim norton. let's start the show. if at first you don't succeed, try 84 more times. the latest wikileaks e-mail reveals hillary clinton's campaign tried 85 tag lines before settling on stronger together. suffice to say don draper does not work for the campaign. she's got your back. a force for family. no

>> jimmy: i love you guys. i feel it. i feel that. i know, i know. >> steve: kevin, next question goes to you. >> yes. >> steve: we asked the audience, "would you rather have a clone of yourself that you can boss around --" >> jimmy: sure. [ light laughter ] who can talk?" >> whoa. that's tough. >> steve: choice is yours, kevin. >> that's tough. >> jimmy: look how cute the dog is. >> that's tough. wait a minute. does anybody else hear a dog talk? like other people can understand the dog? >> jimmy: yeah. a pet that can talk. >> wait. >> jimmy: so other people can hear the dog. >> if i have a clone of myself, does he get to do the bad things that i wish i could do that i can't do? >> steve: well, you can only boss them around. >> if i'm like, "go rob that bank and come back with the this is so tough! >> steve: or dogs that can talk. all right, kevin, what is your answer? >> a dog that can talk. a dog that can talk. >> steve: let's see what the audience says. [ cheers and applause ] dog that can talk. [ cheers and applause ] ?? >> steve:

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i did when i was governor.hat is the way i am. but the fact is, david, we did lose a lot of jobs, and we lost more jobs than some states because of the nature of our economy. we are a heavily manufacturing state. as i pointed out earlier, nafta and cafta and the trade deals had a particular detrimental benefit on our state. i think we need to look at the entire picture while i was governor. the recession hit in 2008-2009. by the time i left office, ohio had the fastest growing economy in the midwest, and the fastest growing, fifth fastest in america. we took a big hit during the recession. everyone knows that. people lost jobs, homes, people lost hope, but it is fair to point out i did not cause that, and i worked hard to keep our state in a stable position, and with the help of senator brown and barack obama and the stimulus that we got, we were able to invest in communities like youngstown and other communities across the state so that i gave john kasich a recovering economy, and i am glad i did that, and i d