steve: free alcohol. helen: pizza. steve: huh? helen: pizza. steve: such a nice girl. pizza. pass or play? helen: we're gonna play, steve. steve: they're gonna play. yeah, let's go play with the boys now. all right, aaron, name something that most men wouldn't turn down if it was offered to them. aaron: i wouldn't turn down any money. steve: money. isaac, name something most men wouldn't turn down if it was offered to them. isaac: a girl. ben: mother's here. isaac: my mom's here, stevie. steve: oh. he--he already keeps whispering to me, "s-steve, my mom's here." [laughter] we got to know exactly what you're talking about. isaac: intimate relationship for free. [cheering and applause] ben: good answer. good answer. steve: they raised this boy good. intimate relationships. intimate relationships. ben: what he didn't tell you is his girlfriend and his girlfriend's mom's here, too, so... steve: his girlfriend and his girlfriend's mom? oh! oh-oh-oh! ben: should've stuck with "girl." steve: it's ok, man. come on. put your arm around me. come on. it's ok. it's ok. it's ok. hang in t

down, catches the ball there. >> steve: th >> steve: the 44. >> brian: yeah. our replay official tonight is joe ryder. >> steve: veteran of the 82nd airborne. we salute him. >> brian: we salute him today. he hasn't had any issues tonight. >> steve: no. >> brian: it's been on the field. >> steve: i have no problem with good old joe there. from evans dale, indiana, hometown of my old man. actually went to high school game and he said it's harder now to do this job, replay official, than it ever has been. especially with the targeting. i was talking to him ability the targeting at length. and now, the acc, they have an opportunity to review back in greeningboro. and makes it a little more difficult. >> referee: after review, the receiver's knee was down when the ball was possessed. >> steve: that is the easiest one they had. >> brian: sometimes it will take longer because they confirm with greensboro and the s.e.c. is doing it more so. big ten is dabbling with it, the remote remote sites. fy was a betting man, i would >> steve: mission control centrally located o

caitlyn: we're going to play, steve. hey, amy. amy: hi, steve. steve: how you going? amy: i'm wonderful, thank you. steve: marietta, georgia. amy: yes, sir. steve: straight up 75. amy: yes, sir. steve: uh-huh, good. amy: you're so handsome! [cheering and applause] steve: yeah. i know that's right. [laughter] let me tell you something. hey, let me tell you something. let me tell you something. even if you ugly, when somebody tell you that, you feel better about yourself, don't you? thank you very much, amy. amy: absolutely. steve: chrissy, where's the worst place on the body to get a bee sting? chrissy: um, i think your lips. steve: your lips. eric, where's the worst place on the body to get a bee sting? steve: your eye. miss sandi, where's the worst place on your body to get a bee sting? sandi: the worst one i ever got was on my foot. steve: worst one was on your foot. eric: come on, amy, one more. steve: amy, one answer left, you clear the board. what's the worst place on the body to get a bee sting? amy: i'm going to say neck, steve. steve: on your neck. one answer

he hasn't had any issues tonight. >> steve: no. >> brian: it's been on the field. >> steve: i have no problem with good old joe there. from evans dale, indiana, hometown of my old man. actually went to high school with my uncle. i was talking to him before the game and he said it's harder now to do this job, replay official, than it ever has been. targeting at length. and now, the acc, they have an opportunity to review back in greeningboro. and makes it a little more difficult. >> referee: after review, the receiver's knee was down when the ball was possessed. that will second and seven. >> steve: that is the easiest one they had. >> brian: sometimes it will take greensboro and the s.e.c. is doing it more so. big ten is dabbling with it, the remote sites. fy was a betting man, i would say that go for it in all directions. >> steve: mission control watson off the play fake. a little behind by mike williams and will bring up third down. >> brian: third and two, here it is. there is your opportunity to get off the field. narduzzi, why not sell out? sell out, try to make a play. and ejua

>> steve: one word. one word only. >> jimmy: yep. >> steve: one word. [ laughter ] >> just one. >> jimmy: i know, i know, i know, i know. mamba. >> charo. [ laughter ] >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: charo. natalie. chip. [ laughter ] remember his? >> skip. >> steve: oh, almost. [ laughter ] >> brooklyn is on the line. >> jimmy: guacamole. >> salad. >> steve: oh, unbelievable. natalie, your -- your turn. not salad. >> okay. yeah. meringue. >> salsa. [ cheers and applause ] >> should've guessed [ inaudible ]. >> pal, we don't get any points -- >> jimmy: no, we don't get half a point. >> steve: neil. j.j. >> steve: j.j., you're up first. >> jimmy: j.j. is up first. >> steve: j.j. is up first. >> this is tough. [ light laughter ] >> oh, no. okay. >> can i have like 20 minutes? okay, here we go. last. >> dingle. [ laughter ] can i get a different word? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you can't get a a different word. >> scratch. oh, that's a good one. track. >> what? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: laugh track. >> oh track. no, no.

steve: we are searching.irst question is what is out there for available lands what , would it look like to build the building? we have some good confidence and buildn find land the building at a good price. i'm interested in building an arena, but before all is said and done, we will talk to the staples guy. i don't think it ever makes sense to enter renegotiation with a landlord unless you have an option. so we will have an option and it could be exciting. emily: let's talk about the class you are teaching now. you are drilling down on government. steve: when i retired in early i -- she has and been working for 10 plus years on the issues of child welfare and what does it take to help support children who grow up in tougher circumstances? i am retired now, she said ok, i am your partner. i said, come on. at the government takes care of that all we have to do is pay , our taxes correctly. she said no, we can do better than that. i put 10 years in. so he locked onto two things. we locked in on a focus on kids

he hasn't had any issues tonight. >> steve: no. >> brian: it's been on the field. >> steve: i have no problem with good old joe there. from evans dale, indiana, hometown of my old man. actually went to high school with my uncle. i was talking to him before the game and he said it's harder now to do this job, replay official, especially with the targeting. i was talking to him ability the targeting at length. and now, the acc, they have an opportunity to review back in greeningboro. and makes it a little more difficult. >> referee: after review, the receiver's knee was down when the ball was possessed. that will second and seven. >> steve: that is the easiest one they had. longer because they confirm with greensboro and the s.e.c. is doing it more so. big ten is dabbling with it, the remote sites. fy was a betting man, i would say that go for it in all directions. >> steve: mission control watson off the play fake. a little behind by mike williams and will bring up third down. >> brian: third and two, here it is. there is your opportunity to get off the field. narduzzi, why not sell ou

>> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: that's proof. >> steve: come on! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: watching that is how i want the feel always. [ laughter ] can we have a split screen? let me see that again. ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tariq, tariq! give it a try! give it a try! [ cheers and applause ] ?? higgins! higgins, give it a shot! higgins! [ cheers and applause ] ?? we have a great show, everybody! give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: whoa! thank you! [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: it has been a great week so far. there is more ahead. tomorrow night, jeremy renner will be dropping by our show. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have something fun planned with him. be sure to tune in for that. plus, michelle dockery and magic from david blaine. >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm excited about total secrecy. i haven't been told what he's going to do. i'm not allowed to know what he's going to do. >> steve: he's just going to blo

steve: sure and now. at the end of the day, i have the comfort of knowing that what i did, and feeling good about myself and everything else does not matter. emily: where did he want to take the company? steve: there is a disagreement about how important it was to be in the hardware business. the board was reluctant and supporting it. things came to a climax about what to do on the phone business. emily: he said, missing the mobile phone was one of the biggest mistakes in microsoft history. what would you have done differently? steve: i would have moved into the hardware business faster and recognize that what we had in the pc, a separation of chips, systems, and software, was not largely going to reproduce itself in the mobile world. i wish i had thought about the model of subsidizing phones through the operators. you like to point to this ring where i said iphones would never sell. that was because the price is $700 was too high. we should have been in the hardware business sooner, and we were still suf

he hasn't had any issues tonight. >> steve: no. >> brian: it's been on the field. >> steve: i have no problem with good old joe there. from evans dale, indiana, hometown of my old man. actually went to high school with my uncle. i was talking to him before the game and he said it's harder now to do this job, replay official, i was talking to him ability the targeting at length. and now, the acc, they have an opportunity to review back in greeningboro. and makes it a little more difficult. >> referee: after review, the receiver's knee was down when the ball was possessed. that will second and seven. >> steve: that is the easiest one they had. >> brian: sometimes it will take greensboro and the s.e.c. is doing it more so. big ten is dabbling with it, the remote sites. fy was a betting man, i would say that go for it in all directions. >> steve: mission control watson off the play fake. a little behind by mike williams and will bring up third down. >> brian: third and two, here it is. there is your opportunity to get off the field. narduzzi, why not sell out? sell out, try to make a play

>> steve: totino's. >> jimmy: toastino's? >> steve: totino's? >> jmy >> steve: you did? >> jimmy: well, if you make it in the toaster oven. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: where do you make your pizza rolls? >> steve: anything i make in the toaster oven are called toastino's'. >> jimmy: is that the only pizza -- did they corner the pizza roll business? >> steve: yeah, i think so. they are the kings of pizza roll. talk about your michael jordans of pizza rolls. >> jimmy: totino's pizza rolls. isn't there another one? didn't la choy? >> steve: gino's maybe? >> jimmy: maybe those tiny egg rolls? who? >> audience: elio's? >> jimmy: elio's? they make pizza rolls? >> questlove: no. >> steve: no. [ laughter and applause ] questlove says no. >> jimmy: did he mean, no? >> steve: he's writing a book on pizza rolls. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: let's see you do the pizza roll. ? let me see that pizza roll? ? let me see that pizza roll? [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] ? babylon ? >> steve: hey! >> jimmy: it's a remix. [ laughter ] next up, we have a photo of mike pence and nancy

steve: sure and no. have the comfort of knowing what i did, feeling good about myself and everything else doesn't really matter. toly: where did you want take the company and where did he want to take the company? steve: i think is a fundamental disagreement about how to be in the product business. i pushed for the surface and he was reluctant. then it came to what to do about the phone business. said: satya nadella recently on stage that missing the mobile phone was one of the big mistakes in microsoft's history. what would you have done? steve: i would have moved into the hardware business faster. what we had in the pc where there is a separation of chips, systems and software was not going to largely reproduce it else in the mobile world. i wish i had thought about the model of subsidizing phones through the operators. point to theo quote where i said the iphone would never sell because $700 was too high and there was business model innovation by apple to get it built into the monthly cell phone bill.

>> steve: yeah!lause ] >> jimmy: i celebrate every year. i celebrate it the same, every year. >> steve: love it. love it! >> jimmy: oh, listen to this. so, experts are warning shoppers to check the spelling of websites on cyber monday because there are lookalike sites that try to scam you with a slight misspelling of a a store's name. yep, they said if you want more info on this, just look it up on goggle. [ applause ] goggle should have it. black friday was the biggest shopping day of the year in the u.s., but some stores in canada also offered their own door buster deals. and i was watching the news, and it made me realize how different our two countries are. look at this store in the u.s. on friday. [ shouting ] >> jimmy: all right. that's -- yeah. yeah, okay. [ laughter ] now take a look at black friday in canada. [ applause ] [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: single file, people are clapping. >> steve: even the employees are applauding. >> jimmy: later, two people fought over a big screen tv s

>> steve: oh, god. hey-oh! ?? there we go. >> jimmy: it's a used copy. no, no, no it's nice. it's actually, som the inside in pen. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: "to christy and david, a souvenir of your winter vacation from grandma." [ laughter ] [ applause ] "horny." there it is. [ applause ] isn't that sweet? >> steve: don't sit on the kids. >> jimmy: isn't that sweet? next up is one of those word circle books and i swear i didn't make this one up here. this is real. "jimmy fallon facts -- a word search puzzle book, 104 pages of big puzzles and facts." someone actually made this. and i'm -- i'm looking at it. >> steve: it's about you? >> jimmy: it's all facts about career at "saturday night live," weekend update with tina fey. made cameos. >> steve: wow. [ light laughter ] you seem really over the moon -- >> jimmy: the leather man's in here. >> steve: what up? what is? >> jimmy: the leather man. [ light laughter ] i had an album out called "blow your pants off." that's true. i did, i did. it was grammy-awar

the arts. >> steve: he's supporting the arts. >> steve: you know what? he paid for his tickets. god bless him. >> jimmy: meanwhile, former texas governor rick perry was set to meet with donald trump today and is rumored to be under consideration for secretary of defense. on one hand, rick perry is a a veteran of the united states air force and the former governor of the 12th largest economy in the world. but on the other hand -- ? [ laughter and applause ] getting along surprisingly well with some establishment republicans. in fact, house speaker john boehner says he and donald trump are texting buddies. i'm sorry, tanning buddies. [ laughter and applause ] i'm not wearing my glasses. on wednesday, at the white house, president obama will pardon his final thanksgiving turkey. i got to say, after all these years, i'm not sure he enjoys it as much as he used to. check this out. >> today, i have the awesome responsibility of granting a turkeys. and with that, i think we are going to bestow the official pardon. the most powerful position in the world brings

steve: hi, ana. ana: hi, steve.t down travel and enhance communication, i linked up pacific hospitality and grafton furniture with at&t collaborate. ana: did you get the files i sent you about the simple greek project? steve: yes, i did. lemonis: ana and steve will be able to make calls, hold conferences, and even share designs with one easy-to-use platform. and with simple greek franchises set to open all across the country, it's imperative that pacific and grafton stay connected and communicate. ana, i mean, the reason that this business is successful and will be successful is because you're a big driver. ana: you kind of brought this out of me, which i knew was there, but i never really applied it. you like, kicked my butt and woke me up and in a way. lemonis: you should be very proud because she is who she is because of her, but also because of you. gilbert: i don't think that i can live without this. lemonis: yeah, i know. we can't be without you. ana: he's like a different man. he's not as stressed anymore. an

. >> steve: right? >> jimmy: a subtle hint, a a subtle hint for christmas. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: things have been pretty tense, though, but with trump winning the election, the stock market has been going up and down a lot lately. let's see exactly if we can figure out why this is happening. for example, the market went up when trump met with president obama. the market went down when trump asked obama to change the it's easier to remember. later, the market went down when trump announced he's getting rid of obamacare. the market went up when trump simply assured everyone that he replaced it with "something terrific." [ laughter and applause ] and finally, the market went up when donald trump flew to washington, d.c. on his own plane. the market went down when trump made the pilot land in the hudson river to see if sully was real or not. [ laughter and applause ] of course, it was real! what are you talking about? the red holiday cups are coming back this year, and will have 13 different designs. >>

he hasn't had any issues tonight. >> steve: no. >> brian: it's been on the field. >> steve: i have no problem with good old joe there. from evans dale, indiana, hometown of my old man. actually went to high school with my uncle. i was talking to him before the game and he said it's harder now to do this job, replay official, especially with the targeting. i was talking to him ability the targeting at length. and now, the acc, they have an opportunity to review back in greeningboro. and makes it a little more difficult. >> referee: after review, the receiver's knee was down when the ball was possessed. that will second and seven. >> steve: that is the easiest one they had. >> brian: sometimes it will take longer because they confirm with greensboro and the s.e.c. is doing it more so. big ten is dabbling with it, the remote sites. fy was a betting man, i would say that go for it in all directions. >> steve: mission control watson off the play fake. a little behind by mike williams and will bring up third down. >> brian: third and two, here it is. there is your opportunity to get off the

he hasn't had any issues tonight. >> steve: no. >> brian: it's been on the field. >> steve: i have no problem with good old joe there. from evans dale, indiana, hometown of my old man. actually went to high school with my uncle. i was talking to him before the game and he said it's harder now to do this job, replay official, than it ever has been. targeting at length. and now, the acc, they have an opportunity to review back in greeningboro. and makes it a little more difficult. >> referee: after review, the receiver's knee was down when the ball was possessed. that will second and seven. >> steve: that is the easiest one they had. >> brian: sometimes it will take longer because they greensboro and the s.e.c. is doing it more so. big ten is dabbling with it, the remote sites. fy was a betting man, i would say that go for it in all directions. >> steve: mission control and will bring up third down. >> brian: third and two, here it is. there is your opportunity to get off the field. narduzzi, why not sell out? sell out, try to make a play. and ejuan price hasn't made a lot of plays in t

>> steve: hey! >> jimmy: it's a remix. [ laughter ] next up, we have a photo of mike pence and nancy pelosi. this one's called #tinderfail. [ applause ] >> steve: dang! oopsie. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: here's a photo of, lady gaga. her meme says, "when you crush that eye exam." it's like -- [ laughter ] and finally, we have kim jong-un. [ audience ohs ] take a look at this photo. his meme says, "ermahgerd, check out my bernerculers." [ applause ] that was "this week in memes." we'll be right back with more of "the tonight show," everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ?? (laughs..) here it is. ?? ?? hey dad! ?? wishes do come true. the lincoln wish list sales event is on. get exceptional offers on the lincoln family of luxury vehicles. sign and drive off in a new 2017 lincoln mkc with zero down and a complimentary first month's payment. ?? olive garden now offers catering delivery we make the food and deliver it to your door so you can enjoy what's important ?? we sent two women into a real guys night out

he hasn't had any issues tonight. >> steve: no. >> brian: it's been on the field. >> steve: i have no problem with good old joe there. from evans dale, indiana, hometown of my old man. actually went to high school with my uncle. i was talking to him before the game and he said it's harder now to do this job, replay official, than it ever has been. targeting at length. and now, the acc, they have an opportunity to review back in greeningboro. and makes it a little more difficult. >> referee: after review, the receiver's knee was down when the ball was possessed. that will second and seven. >> steve: that is the easiest one they had. >> brian: sometimes it will take longer bec greensboro and the s.e.c. is doing it more so. big ten is dabbling with it, the remote sites. fy was a betting man, i would say that go for it in all directions. >> steve: mission control a little behind by mike williams and will bring up third down. >> brian: third and two, here it is. there is your opportunity to get off the field. narduzzi, why not sell out? sell out, try to make a play. and ejuan price hasn't

>> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: be sure to tune in for that. plus, we have michael shannon and miranda lambert will be joining us. it's a big show. [ cheers and applause ] then on friday, we have megyn kelly. she and i are playing a game of "box of lies." >> steve: ooh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: but first, we have a a fantastic show tonight. he stars in the upcoming new hbo series, "the young pope." he's fantasti >> steve: love him. >> jimmy: jude law is here ladies and gentlemen! >> steve: come on! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he knows how to do it. >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: speaking of knows how to do it. from the number one new show of the season "this is us," sterling k. brown is stopping by! [ cheers and applause ] plays chris -- chris darden. and we got great new music from macklemore -- >> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: featuring ariana deboo! [ cheers and applause ] big show tonight. i can't get this out of my head, because i've bee

lot going on, griese. >> steve: hard hit in the secondary. that's drue tranquill who's had a nice game. >> brian: i don't see how oklahoma can get in. they got blasted by houston and ohio state. i just don't see it. >> todd: my point is, they're that team that's lurking. if the committee all of a sudden decides not to take that second big ten team who's up next? >> brian: colorado, why not colorado? if washington loses, they lose to colorado. >> todd: there was a method to the madness i wanted to beat the snap. >> steve: you did. line-drive snap to finke. finke is just across midfield. 34-yard punt and a 12-yard return. okay the trojans need some help, a little watch party tonight. and root for the utes. we'll be right back. e ...to get your romantic on. get your appreciation on. and get your unexpected on. kay jewelers. where right now, you'll save up to 30% on select ...diamonds in rhythm... stunning diamond fashions. ...and this charmed memories gift set. so go to kay... the number one jewelry store in america... ...and get your kiss on. ♪

he hasn't had any issues tonight. >> steve: no. >> brian: it's been on the field. >> steve: i have noroblem with good old joe there. from evans dale, indiana, hometown of my old man. actually went to high school with my uncle. i was talking to him before the game and he said it's harder now to do this job, replay official, than it ever has been. especially with the targeting. i was talking to him ability the targeting at length. and now, the acc, they have an opportunity to review back in greeningboro. and makes it a little more difficult. >> referee: after review, the receiver's knee was down when the ball was possessed. that will second and seven. >> steve: that is the easiest one they had. >> brian: sometimes it will take longer because they confirm with greensboro and the s.e.c. is doing it more so. big ten is dabbling with it, the remote sites. fy was a betting man, i would say that go for it in all directions. >> steve: mission control centrally located office. watson off the play fake. a little behind by mike williams and will bring up third down. >> brian: third and two, here