( cheers and applause ) now say hi to jon batiste and stay human! ♪ ♪ >> stephen: thank you, jon batiste and stay human! i love that song. i love it. i love that. that is one great song. everybody knows it. everybody can sing along. we are in prime christmas carol season right now. >> jon: yeah. it's that time, everybody playing on the songs on the road radio. i mean, i love all christmas music. >> stephen: you do, yeah. >> jon: except for one song. >> stephen: what song is that ♪ jingle bells, batman smells robin laid an egg. ♪ batmobile lost a wheel and joker got away ♪ >> stephen: yeah, i used to sing that song when i was a kid. >> jon: i'm not into that song, man. it's a sad story. the joker got away just because batman had car trouble. >> stephen: also, robin... ovulated somehow. they kind of gloss over how the egg got out of robin, but i pretty upsetting image when you think about it. it's weird. >> jon: real strange. it's nasty, you know. that's why i took the liberty, being the music director, of putting batman reference into all the christm

featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! y ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: whoooo! whoooo! what's that? what's that? >> jon: yeah! ( cheers and applause ) hey! >> stephen: thank you. that's very nice. that's so nice. that's lovely. stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! >> stephen: wow. thank you so much. thank you, everybody. thank you. ( cheers and applause ) so kind. that's so kind. lovely. thank you so much for chanting my name. it is my favorite christmas carol. ( laughter ) welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. i hope everybody is feeling good, ready for the weekend. there's a lot going on in t world. donald trump is... out there ( laughter ) he's getting rea to break yet another presidential tradition, because this week, we learned that he could become the first president in 150 years who does not have a pet. other than, of course, the rare golden marmot that nests on his head. but a longed time. ( cheers a

advil. ♪ >>> in our "saturday session" jon batiste.ert. the new orleans native is out with a new holiday album. >> christmas with jon batiste features original compositions and unique arrangements of the classics and available on amazon music. here with judy hill is jon batiste with "god rest you merry gentlemen." ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ god bless the very merry gentlemen let nothing you dismay ♪ ♪ remember christ the savior he was born on christmas day ♪ ♪ to say from his power when we had gone astray oh, good tidings from comfort and joy comfort and joy all the time ♪ comfort comfort and joy ♪ comfort and joy tell them about it judith hill ♪ ♪ from every adviser of blessed angel came and on to shepherd brought tidings of the same ♪ ♪ how back in bethlehem was born comfort and joy oh, the tidings of comfort and joy ♪ ♪ tell them about it tell them about it hold on tell everybody ♪ ♪ love me tell everybody make me want to shout freedom i want to tell you about it today ♪ ♪ jesus ♪ >>> don't go away. we will be right back with more holiday music from

stephen: welcome back. ( cheers and applause ) great band but the greatest band on television, jon batiste and "stay human"! come on! ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: thank you! >> stephen: folks, i gotta tell you, we have a fantastic show for you tonight. we have an amazing show for you tonight. also super excited about tomorrow night's show. vice president joe biden sitting in that chair right there. got a lot to talk about. ( cheers and applause ) there is so much to talk about. especially we need to talk about the charity basketball game that jon and i are going to play against vice president biden and president obama. all right? ( cheers and applause ) i'm excited. i can announce this, right? it is a go. jon and i wipl a game of charity basketball. so far, jon and i have committed. ( applause ) ( laughter ) and i didn't want to button hole the kennedy center honors last night. it would not be appropriate. >> you talk about that, yeah. >> stephen: but i could see it in his eyes, he's probably in. >> jon: he probably wants to do it. >> stephen: it's for charity. >> jon: for the kids. >>

give it up for jon batiste and stay human, everybody. >> jon: oh, yeah! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: you know, people watch this show for a lot of different reasons, obviously, for information. ( laughter ) but a lot of people out there they tell me they think of me like a dad. i often hear that from my own kids, which is nice. ( laughter ) in fact, people tell me all the time that they think of me as their "tv dad." well, i know how important as a dad it is to spend quality times with kids, especially in so i guess i should sit you down and check in on how things are going with the family. that's right, dad's calling a family meeting. ( cheers and applause ) ( grunts ) hey, buddy. take a load off. listen. i was hoping we could have a little rap session here, you know, connect, just sort some stuff out like you gotta do every so often. but, you know, i'm really a around here. that's why i've also invited a father figure who has actual authority: your pops, joe. come on here. good to see you, pops. ( cheers and applause ) it's so important you do th

featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, it's the "best in 'late show' retrospectacular end-of- year wrap-up-abration!" captioning sponsored by cbs ( cheers and applause ) thanks so much. welcome to "the late show," everybody. i'm stephen colbert... i think. ( laughter ) i'm not-- i'm not sure what to believe about anything anymore. how, how-- let me ask you-- how's everybody doing right now? how you feeling? ( cheers and applause ) all right, all right. i'm glad. you know what? i'm glad, i'm glad. that's better than i thought. ( laughter ) because, you know, i-- i am so glad to be with you tonight. i wouldn't want to be alone right now, you know? and if you'll be there, i'm not going anywhere. all right? ( cheers and applause ) what's it, four years? four years? we've got four very interesting years in front of us. ( laughter ) but i don't know about you all, i did not get a lot of sleep last night. did you sleep at all, jon? >> jon: about three and a half hours or so. >> stephen: three and a half hours? and those

say hi to jon batiste and stay human, ladies and gentlemen. ack, everybody. my first guest is an academy award-nominated actress, singer and now author. please welcome back to the show the lovely anna kendrick. ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ >> hi, guys! >> stephen: it's so nice to you have here. >> thanks for having me back! ( cheers and applause ) that's how i feel! oh! >> stephen: people love anna kendrick. >> i feel like joy comes at me in rage waves right now, so i totally got that. >> stephen: the joy is coming in rage? >> all of my emotions are really confused right now. >> stephen: even your joy is angry? >> everything's just kind of mixed up. but it feels kind of good, i think. >> stephen: uh-huh. >> i've been, like, measuring-- i don't know how you're doing. how are you doing? >> stephen: officially? great. >> yeah, yeah. ( laughter ) me, too. great officially. but i've been-- >> you are a ray of sunshine professionally. >> oh, thank you. >> stephen: people are happy when they see you. >> that's so sweet.

now, make greetings towards jon batiste and the remaining humans! ? ( cheers and applause ) ( humming ) >> stephen: well, folks, the year's almost over, thank 2016 has been grueling-- whether your candidate won or lost, you had to endure the election global instability-- even batman and superman were fighting. ( cheers and applause ) thank you. thank you. very nice of you. thank you for clapping. thank you very much. ( applause ) so this holiday, we're all feeling bummed out. so to cheer everyone up, joining me live via satellite from the north pole-- please welcome kris kringle. ( cheers and applause ) >> ho-ho-ho! merry christmas, everyone! >> stephen: thanks for joining us, santa. i know this is a busy time. >> yes, every minute i'm away, 100 good children don't get a gift, but i'm sure this is important. >> stephen: okay, i'll make it quick -- 2016 has been a bummer, santa, and i was hoping you could help cheer up those of us feeling the holiday blues. santa has an important message for those of you feeling down this year -- suck it up and grow a

give it up for jon batiste stay human! thank you, sir. cheers, cheers. oh! oh my friends. oh, my friends. welcome back to the show. we're having a fine time tonight. you picked a good one to watch. now, before we go on, i just want to say that i'm a practicing catholic. and i enjoy going to church. are ceend of sacred, you know. and what i really miss about going to church is going to confession. so i'd like to take a moment and confess to my audience. you won't tell anybody, right? >> audience: of course n! >> stephen: great. this is "stephen colbert's midnight confessions." ( cheers and applause ) ( laughter ) >> stephen: standard disclaimer: these might not technically be sins, but i do feel guilty about them. okay, i'll be right back. forgive me, audience. my new year's resolution is cancelling the gym membership i got last year. audience, audience, one of the wise men in my nativity scene broke, and instead of buying a new one, i relaced him with lego batman. ( laughter ) i do comedy for a living, but i panic whenever i have to pick out my funny screen name at the bow

featuring jon batiste and st human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! >> stephen: hey! what's going on? hey, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! what's going on? >> jon: i had to get it. i had to get it! >> stephen, stephen, stephen stephen! >> stephen: what's going on? what's up? >> ste stephen! ? ? ? ( cheers ) >> stephen: that's awfully nice. thanks, everybody. that's lovely. wooo! ( cheers ) >> stephen: please, everybody, thank you so much. wow. welcome to "the late show." so glad you're here. i'm your host, stephen colbert. it's lovely to be back. we haven't seen you guys for a week. i hope you guys-- everybody have a good thanksgiving? ( cheers and applause ) i did, too. i had a fantastic-- jon, you were there. >> jon: yeah. >> stephen: here's something i discovered this thanksgiving. i discovered if you bury your face in the pecan pie, it absorbs your screams. ( laughter ) and best part is, after you-- it's true-- after you put your face in

( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: give it up for jon batiste and "stay human," everybody! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: i feel good. i feel free. i feel fine just being me. i feel good today. one of the things that makes me feel good on a dayreich today is holidays are coming up. >> jon: oh, yeah. >> stephen: it's an exciting >> jon: it's a great time. >> stephen: yeah, and there are all the preparations you do for the holiday, people get very busy about it. you going home? >> jon: yeah, going home, bringing gifts home, giving gifts out before i leave here. >> stephen: oh, that's cool. have you gotten me anything, jon? >> jon: i can't tell you yet. we've got to wait till the time. >> stephen: you can't even tell me whether you got me something? i'm not asking what you got me. i got you something. >> jon: whatid >> stephen: i'm not telling you. that's how it works! ( laughter ) no pressure. a lot to do at christmastime. got to guy presents, trim the tree, make the eggnog -- whatever eggnog is. i think there is egg in there. i'm not sure what nog is. tastes like bourbo

give it up for jon batiste and stay human, everybody. >> jon: oh, yeah! eers a applse ) >> stephen: you know,eople watch different reasons, mos ously, information. ( laughter ) but a lot of people out the they tell me thehik me like a dad. i often hear that from my own kids, which is nice. ( laughter ) in fact, people tell me all the time that they think of me as their "tv dad." as a dad it is to spend quality so guess i should sit you down and check in on how arethings going with the family.'sight, da family meeting. ( chrspplause ( grunts ) take a load off listen i was hoping we could have a little rap session here, you know, connect, just st some stuff out like you gotta do every so often. i don't have any real power around here. that's why i've also invited a father figure who has actual comenrity: your pops, joe. good to seeou, pops ( cheers and app it smportant you do this evy soften. it's so important to h these etings >> i kow. though. ( chee and applause ) >>tephen: yeah, yeah. exactly. , listen. -- all right sit down, fella. sit down. havo talu

featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york ( cheers and applae ) >> stephen: nice to see you. ( cheers and applause ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome! thank so that's so nice of you. please have a seat, everybody. you're too kind. thank you so much. welcome to "the late show." i am your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) very nice, very nice. i suddenly am very affectionate toward you, too. now, there's no getting around it, today, donald trump was named "time's" person of the demands a recount. you gotta admit, this is a huge honor. "time" is america's premiere magazine about things we're running out of. ( laughter ) and let's face it, trump dominated the news this year. the only person who came close was hillary clinton, who sadly had to sete for the cover of "upstate woods wanderer." that's good. she looks happy. she looks she's fine! she's going to be fin check out trump on "time's" cover. i can understand why he distrusts the media. it

jon batiste has mastered new ways to play old classics. with chase atms, r new ways to deposit checks too. easy to use chase technology live from las vegas fox5 news at 6 starts now. closed captioning will resume shortly a deadly year in las vegas. what metro police is doing about the increasing number of homicides in our city. sunrise hospital is working with students around the valley-- teaching them the dangers of drinking and driving. why this lesson is so critical during the holidays. this is fox5 news at 6. local. las vegas a unlv professor - threatening to report undocumented students to ice - even though the university's president has called the campus a safe space. i'm christine maddela. i'm cyndi lundeburg. fox5's abby

featuring jon batiste and stay human. now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! good to see you! ♪ ♪ >> jon: hey! >> stephen: good to see you. merry christmas. >> jon: merry christmas to you! ( applause ) >> stephen: welcome to "the late show." please sit down, everybody. thank you so much. you're very kind. what a lovely night. what a lovely crowd. how is everybody feeling tonight? you feeling all right? feeling the holidays. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host stephen colbert. a lot of exciting revelations today, yeah, who donald trump is meeting with for cabinet positions. you know how they've got the cameras at trump towers and seeing them coming in and coming out. it's like a detective show or something like that. >> jon: yeah, like cop. >> stephen: so far it's opinion a who's who of why? what? ( laughter and today, today brought the strangest news yet, because this morning, the president-elect met at trump tower wit

jon batiste has mastered new ways to play old classics. with chase atms, he can master new ways to deposit checks too. easy to use chase technology [ tower pinging ] [ whistling ] we've got a problem, friend. half off any smartphone for anyone who switches? what's the problem? the naughty list shouldn't get deals! yeah, but anyone who switches gets half off of any smartphone. even these? yeah, any smartphone. call the big guy! [ bell dings ] santa? no, jingles. [ knuckles crack ] [ spits ] ooo. ouch. [ neck cracks ] [ darien ] switch and get half off any smartphone. [ ??? ] stephen: florida seahawks the next stop guestlist. they've been struggling, dropping 40 to the panthers. after the rough stretch, the third game, the fact is they had 13 points in the last two games. they had a lot of injuries. if the past weeks are an indication, the line up could stay the same again. >> we try to work with what we have. we have a fun game coming up. each week, it's a challenging week. that's the issue of the two teams with each other. we are looking f

tonight, stephen welcomes matthew broderick ali wentworth and musical guest featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) colombia. >> stephen: hey! hey, everybody! hey, mark. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: hey! >> stephen: what's going on? philosophical. >> jon: philosophical. >> stephen: hey, everybody! welcome to "the late show." i am stephen colbert. happy friday! what else is there to say? ( cheers and applause ) you all ready for the weekend? i am. i absolutely am. you donald trump guy? >> jon: uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. >> stephen: it's crazy. he isn't even president yet, and donald trump is already saving jobs. for instance, he has done wonders for mine. ( laughter ) ( applause ) and yesterday-- ( cheers ) thank you! not worth it, but thank you. yesterday, trump was at the in indiana after saving 1,000 jobs from being shipped to mexico, sending a clear message to mexican workers: if you want good-paying factory jobs, you're going to have to come here and take it from an ame

reviewing movies in a very with a very special guest, stick around. >> stephen: give it up for jon batistes and applause). >> stephen: merry christmas. >> jon: merry christmas. >> jon: merree christmas. hope you have a very happy one. >> jon: you too. >> stephen: well, folks, a lot of people love doing this over the holidays, especially when the family is around, they get together and go out to the movies. i love the i love going to the movie theater itself. because it is one of the only two places when they don't judge me when i ask for a squirt of butter flavor. and when it comes to deciding which movies to see, well, there is only one film reviewer i trust, gil peaches and his youtube channel not at the movies with gil peaches. (laughter). >> stephen: hello, i'm gil peaches. welcome to not at the movies with me, gil peaches. hello. i'm gil peaches. here are the movies i saw this week." fantastic beasts and where to find them ." what a cinematic experience. this movie could easily been called very fantastic beasts and where i found them, in this movie, it's that good it was like harry po