can i tell you about it? >> stephen: i don't really-- >> it's lemon water, cayenne pepper, and a little maple syrup. goes through you like samson through the philistines. ( laughter ) yeah. i had to drop a i ate the dinosaurs. >> stephen: you ate the dinosaurs? >> yeah, i was doing paleo. an old girlfriend got me into it. she's a tattoo artist now. her name's crysta krystal with . ( laughter ) >> stephen: but you're god. if you're gluten-sensitive, can't you change the communion rule? >> ehhh, i'm not actually gluten-sensitive, stephen. i heard about it on dr. oz once, and i just wanted to be cool. frankly, i've been dying for an excuse to hit this meatball sub. mmmm!! want some, stephen? please say no. >> stephen: actually, i'm vegan right now. >> you go to hell! >> stephen: god, everybody. we've got a great show for you tonight. we've got special never before seen presidential battle between me and john oliver. but it's friday and that means "midnight confessions." stick around! ( cheers and applause ) ( ban

i appreciate. that and as you have further observations, i welcome you relaying them to us. >> mr. otting, i enjoy meeting with you last week. and at our meeting we spent some time discussing your time as an executive. >> you would tlik take a munn or two to respond to the questions raised by one west and frankly to describe for the committee your tenure at one west? >> thank you, chairman. first of all, in 2008 was when indy mac failed. i was taken over by the fdic and operated until march of 2009. in march of 2009 an investment group acquired the bank and renamed the entity one west bank. as we all know this was a very difficult time in america. the investment group bought indy mac because they believed in an american recovery that, they could rebuild and create a regional bank and save thousands of jobs. going into indy mac, the bank had almost 200,000 loans in default. the men and women of one west bank were working diligently to save the homes of thousands of americans. some of those who focus on the homes that were lost and this is a tragedy, we like to focus on the 80% roughl

he may proceed. >> thank you. i would also note it wasn't money at received a half a million dollars. speech to an investment company that is tied to the kremlin. as you noted, we have a lot of folks who are part of the impeached trump movement. they were trying to impeach trump before he was even sworn into office. so this is a little off-topic, but as my friends are talking about russia across the aisle, do you have any idea what's being talked about in wisconsin today. >> 13000 new jobs and attend billion-dollar investment to build the most advanced manufacturing plant in the united states, and for the first time, and i can't even remember how long, to build tv screens and other videos. it's just extraordinary. i was pleased to be at the white house yesterday for that announcement and congratulations wisconsin. i know it's a very competitive state. >> were talking about jobs. were talking about economic growth. return about industries to my friends across the aisle may result. these jobs will never come back. the

hear you know what i mean i love you know. rappers like kendrick lamar who's attempting to so put consciousness in the music. i love some of the music kanye does i think he really attempts to to be provocative the chance the rapper if it's good to sell my son's name it's chance to see him in chance one of the greatest things ever happen to me derek jeter came over to be and said there are a lot of phony legends you are a true legend stay with me for a while you are a true legend thank you that's going to stay with me for what is the title mean to you about it means you're old. it means. you've stood the test of time. you know to me that's what it means you stood the test of time you know people have their peak moments and need the you the fall off the peak all the way down a mountain or you have or near the top is being labeled a legend or an icon put more pressure on you. know we expect more from you know you know i mean i always expect you know more myself than didn't anybody to expect me the way i feel but it really you know

you want. that is the love! i feel the love! i missed you guys! missed you guys. [ cheers and applause ] welcome, welcome to "the tot this is it! [ cheers and applause ] this is what you're watching. this is where you're at. what a show. oh, great. so happy to be back, everybody. here's what -- [ cheers ] thank you very much. here's what people -- yeah, i shaved it off. [ cheers and applause ] yeah, it was getting ridiculous. i'll talk about it later. it was getting ridiculous. unanimously, people did not enjoy that mustache. [ laughter ] >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: across the whole board. >> steve: across the street. >> jimmy: women, children, everyone. i went to another country, and they didn't like it. i went to london. they were like, "what is that on your face?" [ light laughter ] i go, "it's gone." it's a distant memory. guys, let's talk about what people are talking about. what's going on in the news right now. over the weekend, it came out that president trump's approval rating is at 36%. [ audience boos ] but trump defended the number, sayin

i met up with. the program and. what. we want to thank you i think you can make. money for the right let's look at the event got to do the end of this and the only thing that i have. seen about benjamin who i did a quick look at a bed. one when i flew. the coffin to fit on a stool. i know. i come to keep an eye. on the come up. beneath see a player for a while but then she will pick it up and i may but now run up a little bit of a new book. i was in the senate is that typical there. would be well to my clavell one of a democrat. who among. the need. to cut the double can be. gotten around and. look at me. one on me well recently i thought he might have been up on something that he got back out to get it done but he didn't tell the. one of us if. i'm fine of course i can continue coming up with a white man it's way. up on the shelf that i've seen that you don't tell them no idea. and us that you know. the full messiah under. which. she became a. kind of felt. but if i. assume you're one of the similar similar. but if you think dandolo know what that's . like. then o

was you know it was something that it was moving and i thought it was something that you know she deserved i think i think her career and everything she's been doing up to this point has been so well received but there's so many things that go into two awards and i'm so glad she got her to just do she's amazing actress. you began in the theater where in south carolina yeah yeah yeah i did i did some high school plays and then got into a school small school called going to college there met again and scott blanks he was a theater instructor we did a play there because he didn't have a didn't have a department that was dedicated theater and dance so we did a play anyway he said you know i think you should go to inverses of carolina that's where i got my graduate program from and so he pointed me there and i got from there and i got to record this kind of you know people like scott blanks and you know and bill and general conner people like that is how would you like to go to broadway i would i would i would love to do something new broadway i mean broadway is a very prestigious

i love you. >> okay. i love you, too. i'll set up an appointment for next monday. ly, i think she's right where she needs to be. and get into a program here instead of getting out of here and i'm sure she'll just go right back to what she was doing. >> nyp recently applied for the jail's 90-day sober living unit, but the program's director, rob steele, has some bad news. >> we have limited resources. we can't take everybody that wants it. and so we target the sentenced people who we know are being released directly back in our community at the end of that period. we want to make sure that you're going to have enough time to complete the program, and we want to catch you at your tail end of your sentence. >> okay. >> so that you walk out of here in that recovery mode and -- >> right. >> -- hopefully continue that. i don't know your whole history. i know your criminal history. and i did notice that your arrests have all taken place in the last couple of years. so seemingly, you were a normal person with a normal life until this addiction hit. >> right. >> it's obvious

done put you through whatever ♪ ♪ i know that you care for me i know what you spared for me ir ♪ ♪ you know she the only true girl ooh girl ♪ ♪ i can't even lie yeah you got me falling even when i try and the game keep calling ♪ ♪ why we in the club why i'm always balling tryna' be in love we don't fall too often ♪ ♪ it's hard to fall but you got me falling even when i try and the hoes keep calling ♪ ♪ why we in the club why i'm always balling tryna' be in love we don't fall too often ♪ ♪ it's hard to fall but still but still i don't want nobody else ♪ ♪ but you i don't want nobody else but you ooh ah ah ♪ ♪ nobody else but you ooh ah ah i don't want nobody else but you ♪ now kimbrel kim now kimmel audience make some noise for my band that's so beautiful. "tremaine the album" is available out right now. make some noise for yourselves [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ i don't want nobody else but you i don't want nobody else but you ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> thank y'all so much. ♪ hey! ♪ bee to hive for that honey you know ♪ ♪ a sweet tasty bowl ♪ of that get up and go ♪ put in th

back at you. now iver and mention all the time and dad, this is a baron son, sit and ate with his daughter, now he become one of my very staunch supporters. now i heard people say, they would ask baron, they'd say would you take charley orn the road, i'm not going to take him out i make $200,000 a year. guess who was the first to bring me out. farn young. >> so he didn't give you the push back that was predicted but did you get push back being the first country star of african descent, you had to get some? >> no. >> you didn't get any? except for the producers that didn't want to book >> if anything was said to me that was told to me that he was going to say. i can give you things, going to give you couple examples, i'm just starting out, i'm going to texakana, arkansas, playing vfw, up comes this guy, i don't know if he was kidding around or serious but he came up to me and said charley pride, said i'm with the ku klux klan i'd like to shake handles with a man. i'm saying this because it happened. he c

see what i picked up and let you know that i could be with you if you. lift me i me and i don't believe. it. was d.d.'s. i mean. that you so i. know yeah. i know. when i started already. what are you making ery i got i got beef brisket. and i have a kind of a chilly here there's a. combination of things or some have a black beans and some. kind of yeah isn't that mexican food in some cases yes this. doesn't matter i don't have a problem of eating the reader and i like chilies and. tortillas there's nothing wrong with us for the. i eat a lot of beans because i'm married to a nicaraguan woman. could she be part of your movement well we have we have criteria one you have to be white it's not white we'll aware that's one of our criteria but. except only people who are white who are of. get it doesn't matter what continent you come from we have we have people from spain we have a while to be white because we have. they are. but our membership requirement could marry a non white person be part of your organization we probably wouldn't encourage it now though it

>> i have not. >> thank you. navyext secretary of the will receive this role during a time of immense importance for united states seapower. i note the residents of one of distinguished members and a dear friend of every member of the committee, republican and democrat and perhaps it would be convenient for us to hear from senator warner. you are recognized, senator warner. senator warner: thank you mr. chairman. senator reid, and members of the others.e and it is very humbling for me to appear here and on behalf of this distinguished nominee. if i ever reflect on this great committee, i just think about the marvelous traditions it has established for the entirety of the senate throughout its long existence. i say to the new members of the committee, i wish you well. i am confident as you pursue you careers in life that will always look back on your membership in this committee as a very special privilege. because after all, the function of this committee is to provide care to the men and women in the armed forces

do you mind if i do that? y big plans for the weekend? james, can i get some thank you note writing music? [ laughter ] this -- i appreciate it. ♪ thank you, that's -- oh, beautiful. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: it's just perfect. >> steve: he's so sly. he's a sly little dog. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, trumpcare, for being like the art of the deal. it's got trumps name on it, but i'm pretty sure he's never actually read it. [ laughter and applause ] "why would i read it, when i lived it." [ light laughter ] ♪ thank you, playing frisbee, for giving me the chance to yell "sorry" every 30 seconds. [ laughter and applause ] sorry. that one curved that way, sorry. ♪ thank you, justin trudeau, for being on the cover of delta's in-flight magazine. and for sitting like every guy in a coach middle seat. there you go. [ laughter and applause ] "hey, where you from? want to have a tuna sandwich?" [ light laughter ] can't eat a tuna sandwich on a a plane. ♪ thank you, wine bottle opener, for looking like e.t.'s skeleton. [ laughter

you surprise the network took that. i think is what they want to do you think is i mean that could just be me projecting right but i really do think that you know like a comedies that are like adult and honest in conversation i think that people are excited to do that i think they're cautious you know it's corporations and people cautious but i think people are excited but you take on gun control bill cosby mental illness yeah yeah just i mean real things i don't want to a so that didn't sound like real life norman lear affected you oh yeah absolutely he's been here he's a great guy he's incredible he's you know talking to him about it i mean he's just like you write what you know right people you know if you write it yeah how are the biographical as it's more so perspective the things that happened you know like it was and i don't take situations from my family but i take a lot of perspective and just kind of exaggerated and and have fun with it and be she stays struggled in the ratings. m b c i think is figuring out its

think you seem to think you're going to be needed i think because you see that only to start here. and i think in them days you could be cowed everything. would be to be too big for. you this is a group that. mutimer across and. i'm going to show you can you put up or go. because from the inside and from outside so it's really humid and it was a big big one to complete your salt fish. from the chain but like a human body. you get the patients you know that kind of all the patients some of them not to be injured during the war with these you don't think about these you know the soldier on the. streets like any other and other patients. and. this is the city of good luck just twenty kilometers from the frontline. it's under the control of opposition troops consisting mostly of members of the chinook tribe . the red cross hospital here is now the only facility in the whole area of the country still able to provide medical aid. you know get. out of it. i think you know something it might. not last off. the top. i. actually. say. that past fifty fifth and that she. does not say. that onl

you say you want something exciting. i tell you what i will do. cer: we will ship it to you absolutely free. [laughter] announcer: your satisfaction is guaranteed. >> i know you will like it. announcer: if you don't laugh yourself silly, we will refund your purchase price no questions asked, so run to order the best of rowan and martin's "laugh in". ♪ announcer: 40 hilarious episodes including the rare pilot episode, plus a free dvd of exclusive extras. 12 dvd's and the memory book only for five payments of 1999, and we will ship it for free. >> that is a lot better. announcer: operators are standing by. >> have a great afternoon. is this the party to whom i am speaking? >> ♪ the lights seem a lot brighter and figure i always have to whisper i still prefer them blinds ♪ announcer: laughing with a star making machine. >> i love your down. >> you are the dumb one. announcer: launching catchphrases left and right. ♪ [laughter] >> oh, george. pardon me, i thought you guys had changed. >> i'm going to do the feature news. >> but you just told it to me,

<i>if you spit blood> <i>when you brush or floss> <i>you may have gum problems> andi> try new parodontax toothpaste. ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody! our next guest is a five-time olympic swimmer who has 39 world records and has won 28 olympic medals, making him the most decorated olympian of all time. starting this sunday you can see him on two discovery channel, shark week shows, "shark school with michael phelps" and then "phelps versus shark." [ cheers ] everyone, please welcome the greatest swimmer of all time, michael phelps! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. thank you so much for coming on the show. >> nah, thanks for having me. it's always fun. >> jimmy: i appreciate it. no, i mean -- >> i love coming on. i think, i think you got shown up. >> jimmy: i know, i know. she's a much better dancer. >> she -- her swim moves looked good, too. she had -- she had a good stroke. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: [ indiscerible ] i was breast -- breaststroking. >> you were doing the breastst