[sfx: buschhhhh] [sfx: eagle cries] my doctor says i havey, what's skittles pox.re they contagious? i don't think so. contract the rainbow! taste the rainbow! there are no shortcuts. making the best tequila in the world is all about putting in the time. the way we've been doing it for 145 years. tequila herradura. 60% of women are wearing the wrong size pad and can experience leaks discover always my fit. find the number that's right for your flow and panty size on the top of any always pack. the better the fit, the better it protects. always. ♪ it's a good, good, good ♪ time to be alive. ♪ oh yeah. pizza with pepsi. delicious. ahhh. (applause). >> trevor: welcome back to the daily show. whether you like it or not the future is here now. to help explain it we turn to ronny chieng with a segment we call today's future now. >> trevor, you may not know this about me but i love fast food. it suits my lifestyle, fast. i don't have time to listen to someone read me a list of today's specials because i want even faster food, i am talking digital, computer, food 3.0, feed

my doctor says i havey, what's skittles pox. are they contagious? i don't think so.t the rainbow! taste the rainbow! when you're a double-dipping like steve sweeney, it's important to maintain a certain... lifestyle. that's why sweeney spent over a hundred grand of his campaign funds on high-priced meals and other gifts. we're talking fine cigars, fancy watches, pricey restaurants, and expensive wines - all to charm the type of folks who helped him raise your taxes 145 times. too many in south jersey are struggling. but steve sweeney's looking out for himself, not for us. lulu. lulu is getting buzz on social media, because she was fired by the cia. lulu lost her love of sniffing out bombs a few weeks into her training. she said not for me. instead lulu is enjoying an early retirement. her handle erranded up adopting lulu. you have to know what's for you and what is not. >>> lights, camera, action, the 26th annual film festival is underway. the red carpet was rolled out at the prince theater in center city. some of the cast and crew of the highly anticipated film itan

my doctor says i have skittles pox. are they contagious? i don't think so. contract the rainbow!andard. three weeks. ok. which one of you the cheetos snacks? okay, i've given you guys a chance to confess. this little baby can detect trace amounts of cheetos dust. whaaaaat? gloria? kids? [meow] when did we get a cat? dangerously cheesy. i rode shotgun in lead humvee and istop short. bombs. i don't see nothin' man. you don't see it, he feels it. you are my hammer out there. don't let these young guys see you fold. ♪ i'm only human, i make mistakes ♪ ♪ i'm only human, that's all it takes ♪ ♪ to put the blame on me i'm alive because of you. i'm not a hero. we're brothers, we look after each other. thank you for your service. rated r. >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show" coming to you from chicago! my guest tonight is an award-winning musician, actor and producer. his new song with andra day "stand up for something" is featured in the new movie "marshall"! ♪ and i stand up for you ♪ and i stand up for you, yes i will, yes i will ♪ ♪ reach out and touch with the savior's hand ♪

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my doctor says i havey, what's skittles pox. are they contagious? i don't think so.ainbow! >> trevor: that's our show for tonight, stay tuned for the opposition with jordan klepper coming up next. here it is, your moment of zen. >> jordan: tom hanks is taking shots at our president, saying trump's comments to the gold star family in florida was "one of the biggest ( bleep )-ups on the planet earth." this from a 12-year-old masquerading in an adult man's body... a liberal who defied traditional marriage by falling in love with a mermaid... a globalist who breaks into museums and tries to read jesus' diary... tom hanks is a simpleton and should stick to what he knows best: cooking shrimp. sorry tom, hanks but no hanks we'll think for ourselves. this is the "opposition."

my doctor says i havey, what's skittles pox. are they contagious? i don't think so. that's our show for tonight, the op significants with jordan clep certificate up next. now here st, your moment of captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org n: the mainstrem media clowns are trying to put a pie in the face of these guys: paul manafort & rick gates. they turned themselves in today after being indicted by muller on 12 counts, only one of which is "conspiracy against the u.s.," and those letters can mean anything! manafort wasn't even that involved wit

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my doctor says i havey, what's skittles pox. are they contagious? don't think so.w! taste the rainbow! poallergies?reather. stuffy nose? can't sleep? take that. a breathe right nasal strip instantly opens your nose up to 38% more than allergy medicine alone. shut your mouth and say goodnight, mouthbreathers. breathe right. starbucks nariño 70 cold brew coffee. in stores now. only at starbucks. ♪ because everyone likes easy. sure do. because everyone is on the go. because we all like to save energy, but sometimes we slip up. reaching up. ssssh! because sometimes we want it cool at night, then toasty in the mornings. introducing the easy to use, energy saving, adjustable from everywhere, easy on the wallet and the eyes, nest thermostat e. e is for everyone. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: jon batiste and "stay human," everybody! that's the band right there! ( cheers and applause ) welcome back, everybody! thank you so much! please! welcome back, everybody! these people are still sitting. you're still at home. i'm still standing here because there

my doctor says i havey, what's skittles pox. are they contagious? i don't think so.w! taste the rainbow! poallergies?reather. stuffy nose? can't sleep? take that. a breathe right nasal strip instantly opens your nose up to 38% more than allergy medicine alone. shut your mouth and say goodnight, mouthbreathers. breathe right. starbucks nariño 70 cold brew coffee. in stores now. only at starbucks. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: jon batiste and "stay human," everybody! that's the band right there! ( cheers and applause ) welcome back, everybody! thank you so much! please! welcome back, everybody! these people are still sitting. you're still at home. i'm still standing here because there's more monologue we've got to do. before the commercials, i was talking about how donald trump attacked bob corker, and the fake news, but i'm kind of proud the president saved just a little complaining for us talk show hosts. makes me feel special. see, over the weekend, trump tweeted "late night hosts are dealing with the democrats for their very 'unfunny' and rep

my doctor says i havey, what's skittles pox. are they contagious? i don't think so.rainbow! taste the rainbow! just joining us or heading out the door, here are seven things to know before you go. the first one is weather. check it out. live doppler 7. still tracking scattered showers across the north bay. the rest of us the steady rain is over. by the time we get to next week we're in the 90s. >> and number two, of course, along with that weather comes along with that weather comes traffic. no metering lights. we are looking great just nine minutes into san francisco. >> that's a relief, alexis. the rain did cause some problems overnight on the roadways. chp says this tow truck crashed near the west dublin/pleasanton b.a.r.t. station. the driver was taken to the hospital. the scene is cleared now. >>> number four, some residents forced out by the bear fire are waking up in their own homes. residents were allowed to return. the fire charred 320 acres and is 35% contained. >>> people who live in three santa rosa neighborhoods hard hit will be able to return home. it w

my doctor says i have skittles pox. are they contagious? i don't think so. contract the rainbow!s time to stack the savings. take 50% off hundreds of select items storewide. plus - take an extra 20% off. plus - take an extra $10 off when you spend $50 or more. plus - get kohl's cash. plus - yes2you members earn triple points. only at kohl's. [ "america" by simon and garfunkel ] can i cross it off yet? almost. and. now. the volkswagen atlas. with available digital cockpit. life's as big as you make it. >> jimmy: hi there. welcome back to the show. kenneth brau shaw, haley bennett, and comedian neel nanda coming up. for those who are fans of the explorer,"obody above 4 years old, dora's on her way to the big screen. none other than michael bay is planning to make a live action "dora the explorer," movie this is great, my one issue with michael bay movies is i've never been able to learn span frisch them. the movie is expected to be released sometime in -- hopefully after the world has ended, but michael bay's "dora the explorer" sounds made up but it's real. you know how they do co

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my doctor says i havey, what's skittles pox. are they contagious? i don't think so. the rainbow! it's time to stack the savings. at kohl's, take 50% off hundreds of select items storewide. plus - take an extra 20% off. plus - take an extra $10 off when you spend $50 or more. plus - get kohl's cash. plus - yes2you members earn triple points. only at kohl's. [ "america" by simon can i cross it off yet? almost. and. now. the volkswagen atlas. with available digital cockpit. life's as big as you make it. ralcandidate for'm governor,rtham, and i sponsored this ad. rrator: they call him enron ed.rtham, because washington, dc lobbyist ed gillespie ted the worst of the worst. lenders trying to keep student loan rates high. corporations sending jobs overseas. and of course the enron scandal. now, enron ed is lobbying for donald trump's agenda. like cuts to virginia school funding, and taking away healthcare from thousands of virginians. enron ed gillespie. he's not lobbying for you. >> jimmy: hi, there. welcome back to the show. kenneth brau shaw, haley b

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my doctor says i havey, what's skittles pox. are they contagious? i don't think so.verybody. it is time to trend. let's look at what is trending on twitter. it takes real courage to -- mark twain prize, justin timberlake. let's talk about first dates. those can be tricky. never mind the nerves and the pressure. you want to make a good first impression. what is the perfect first date location? an instagram user came up with pros and cans. we had to blur some out. go to the bar, the pro is, you get to drink. the con is, you may drink too much. the restaurant, the pro is very classy. the con is, very murder. >> who is this guy? >> the beach, the pro is, you're going to see them half-naked. the con is, they're going to see you half-naked. i was thinking about first dates. and best dates. did you have ever a magical date that you took someone on and made you say wow? dylan is smiling. >> i loved going to boss pro shop. i think you've never been. >> it's a huge outdoor shop. >> it's amazing. there's activities. there's a bar. >> that was a date? >> it was a date. it was a

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my doctor says i havey, what's skittles pox. are they contagious? i don't think so.nes. i'm glad i caught you. well i'm just leaving the office so for once i've got plenty of time. what's going on? so those financial regulations being talked about? so let's get together and talk, and make sure everything's clear. thanks. yeah. that would be great. we've grown to over $900 billion in assets under care... by being proactive, not reactive. it's how edward jones makes sense of investing. >>> welcome back to "good morning america." three to even five inches of radar estimated rain falling around new orleans lakefront airport close to there seeing some of the heavier radar estimates but all ending up as flooding and could see more for areas parched from southern wisconsin to easte >> anchor: good morning, washington! i'm melanie hastings. request a check of your top stories. police in prince william county are looking for a man who capitally assaulted a young girl walking home from her school bus

skittles pox. are they contagious? i don't think so. contract the rainbow! taste the rainbow!e so for once i've got plenty of time. what's going on? so those financial regulations being talked about? they could affect your accounts, so let's get together and talk, and make sure everything's clear. thanks. yeah. that would be great. we've grown to over $900 billion in assets under care... by being proactive, not reactive. it's how edward jones makes sense of investing. >>> welcome back to "good morning america." three to even five inches of radar estimated rain falling around new orleans lakefront airport close to there seeing some of the heavier radar estimates but all ending up as flash flooding and could see more for areas parched from southern wisconsin to eastern iowa. good news up here. your local [drumming] one time, in new orleans, well, before it was even founded, a french teenager, bienville, scared away a british warship with just a story. and great stories kept coming. [trumpet playing] some make you move to jazz, funk and bounce. some of our stories aren't quite as

skittles pox. are they contagious? i don't think so. contract the rainbow! taste the rainbow! the office so for once i've got plenty of time. what's going on? so those financial regulations being talked about? they could affect your accounts, so let's get together and talk, and make sure everything's clear. thanks. yeah. that would be great. we've grown to over $900 billion in assets under care... by being proactive, not reactive. it's how edward jones makes sense of investing. >>> welcome back to "good morning america." three to even five inches of radar estimated rain falling around new orleans lakefront airport close to there seeing some of the heavier radar estimates but all ending up as flooding and could see more for areas parched from southern wisconsin to eastern iowa. good news up >> ♪ >> good morning, i'm matt o'donnell. 7:56. it is tuesday, october 3rd and we have troubles on i-95. here's karen rogers. >> yeah, this time we're in delaware county. this is i-95 near highland avenue. particularly heavy right now from 495 to 352. looking at a 21 minute jam from delaware