something. >> i like it. >> jimmy: yeah, no problem. >> i like it. ight. >> that works. >> jimmy: but you want a little something, you want a little drama? did you, were you looking for -- >> well, i mean, slightly. yeah. so i had a screening of this "star wars" movie i'm in, and, from my friends and family on the day and i didn't still get my dates right, so i didn't realize. so i sort of thought no one would turn up, but then, they did. so then, they watched the movie. and i watched the wedding. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: feels like -- in the movie, yeah. >> having a good time, i'm just -- yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> yeah, i was kind of maybe hoping for a little, like, gymnastic or something. to spice it up a bit. but nothing happened, i think. >> jimmy: yeah, but like, no one even tripped or something. >> no, no one even fell. >> jimmy: i mean, come on. [ light laughter ] i mean, come on. oprah, trip for us. >> yeah. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: come on, give us something to talk about. i mean, i would do that and just lift -- you know. >> yes. >> j

i mean, the job i want to be? >> jimmy: yeah it's a good job. [ laughter ] >> i mean, it's so relaxing as the pope. you can just wake up and just throw a sun dress on, you know? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: sun dress. >> you know, you've got so many cool hats. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, yeah. you love hats! yeah, he does have good hats. >> it was all the rage at the met gala this year, i mean. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it was. yeah. >> so -- >> jimmy: what would you do different, if you'd do anything if you were the pope? >> well, i don't know. i would think i would have a a problem with the popemobile. like, i like the idea of being in glass. but you know, you know, i'm kind of from the hood, so i need it tinted. i need it tinted out. [ laughter ] so it'll be all glass, but tinted, like dark tint. >> jimmy: tinted windows, yeah. [ laughter ] okay, good, that's perfect. >> but you would know it's me, though. >> jimmy: yeah, because -- >> because i have 21 savage rolling like, you know we -- [ light laughter ] i'm coming down the street.

i don't know, dude. >> jimmy: yeah, i kind of, yeah -- i just wanted to check. but backstage it's a different story. [ laughter ] >> why do you make me feel like super dave osborne every time i come on this show? remember that guy? that's who you make me feel like -- >> jimmy: i love super dave osborne. oh really? >> every time i come on here, yeah. >> jimmy: oh no, i love -- you know i love you. >> i know, but i have a drink before the show. that's what i do to warm up. i have a drink. i have a vodka, and a -- >> jimmy: vodka and what -- what is your drink? we had sake before. >> yeah, we did have the rice wine. >> jimmy: rice wine, rice wine, that's what we had. yeah. >> i like a vodka, and like a a you know, sprite zero, or diet sierra mist. 7-up. >> jimmy: is that right? >> something citrusy. yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, i like that. no way. >> do you like that? >> jimmy: well, no, i like the idea of you doing that. [ laughter ] >> oh. >> jimmy: i don't -- i don't like that at all. no. i would go -- i would go more with like a gin and tonic myself, or a vodka tonic

yeah. wedges, i think. ng on an old pair of wedgies. >> that's why it felt so good. [ laughter ] i -- she asked me, she goes, "would you be interested in doing a revival or, you know, a a special?" i said, "you know, in a a heartbeat." she called roseanne or she texted roseanne right after that. three weeks later we had a deal with abc. >> jimmy: isn't that awesome? [ cheers and applause ] >> everybody fell in. yeah. >> jimmy: and you got some of the original writers. i know norm macdonald is working on it. >> norman was there. >> jimmy: i love norm macdonald so much. >> when we could find him. >> jimmy: yeah. he's the greatest. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but, i mean, did you realize it was going to be such a big hit coming back? or were you like, "we'll see how it goes." >> i'd just see how it goes. all i know, is i was having so much damn fun doing it. initially it was spooky. it goes beyond deja vu into a a whole new marvel territory. i just -- it just felt right. and where have i been for the last 20 years? i ju

yeah." then it was, "did you wanna do nine?" and i said yeah. an murphy. i love, it was -- >> yeah, isn't she great? >> jimmy: whitney cummings. i love that. norm macdonald. >> love norm. >> jimmy: i mean, i always loved norm. was norm one of the originals? >> wanda sykes. >> jimmy: wanda sykes is on it. it's -- come on, i mean, just all-stars. >> it was a blast. it was the most fun i've ever had. i just can't believe it. i feel so lucky. >> jimmy: well, clearly -- you hit a nerve. everyone loves to watch you in the show. >> well, our next show is -- you know, our next few shows are, like, gonna be -- it gets better and better every week, so i can't wait till people see the next few shows. and can i pause where i'm at? >> jimmy: of course, you can. >> okay. well, i'm going to do stand-up may 17th at -- [ laughter ] no, i know. i know, i can't remember anything. mgm national harbor, d.c. >> jimmy: yeah. all right, yeah. there you go. mgm national -- [ cheers and applause ] i can do that for you. >> i remember when i was on "the tonight show" i wro

i have a sign, look. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah -- i want spag -- okay, yeah. >> >> jimmy: let's just move on. >> okay. >> jimmy: let's move on here. now i saw that "miss usa" pageant actually had some contestants submit their own questions. have you submitted a question? >> oh, yes, yes. the following question is actually for you, jimmy, okay? >> jimmy: wow. okay. >> okay. what is your plans in five years to achieve world peace, role models and what is your reason for winning? and if so, why did you children? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i have no idea how to answer that. >> congratulations! that means you're the next miss backup ohio! >> jimmy: oh, my goodness! [ cheers ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] miss backup ohio, everyone. miss backup ohio. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ guys, listen to this -- [ laughter ] the city of lake worth, florida accidentally texted all of their residents a false zombie alert. [ laughter ] people were relieved to learn it was a false alarm. but then they were like, "wait, why do we even have a zombie alert system?" [ laughter and applause ] what

>> yeah, a guy -- can i say this? he movie. >> seth: yeah. >> so -- >> seth: in the actual fictional movie, not at the premiere. >> not in the theater, not in the theater. no. [ laughter and applause ] no, thank you. thank you for that assist. >> seth: yeah, 'cause then you'd be like -- and they didn't do anything? they just let it -- >> they just ate their popcorn like, "we're not even --" [ light laughter ] because i was sitting next to them, and i was wearing like a hoe dress, like it was very short. so i was like, "this was not a great movement. i'll see you guys at christmas." but they like loved the movie. [ laughter ] >> seth: that's good. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> seth: that is a success then. oh, here's a picture, 'cause this ties in very nicely with having emilia here. so you're -- this is the actor who played robb stark. >> yes, richard madden. >> seth: richard madden. >> scottish. >> seth: and how was your -- how was meeting up with him? were you a "game of thrones" fan before you met him? >> so i started dat

i think that's a funny name for a dog. >> jimmy: yeah. it. yeah, exactly. >> but anyway, so she gave us a a lovely welcoming basket for the dog. and in it was these trump poop bags. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: on my god. >> and it has trump's face on it. it's red. and it just has his face like this right in the middle. and there's this sort of really cathartic, therapeutic moment. and i just stand there and i go, "you take a poopie! [ laughter ] take a poopie!" >> jimmy: let's talk about "diet land." >> let's. right. that's why i'm here. >> jimmy: what made you -- >> i forgot. >> jimmy: what made you come -- oh, well that's good conversation. what are you here for? what made you come back to tv? >> oh. >> jimmy: because we love you. >> thank you. >> jimmy: yeah, i mean -- what made you? was it the script or the book? >> well, i took it. yeah, it was all of it. it was the schedule. i have to be honest. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i was tired after "the good wife." seven years on that show wiped me out. >> jimmy: it's a lot of work. i don't know if peopl

, yeah. [ laughter ] >> i was like, this is my -- goodbyes. >> jimmy: >> we'll go back after the 4th of july. >> jimmy: do you ever know what's going to happen, like, what they're writing? >> i know a few things. i mean, i know -- we know the broad strokes of the season. we sit down with dan, dan fogelman, the creator of the show. >> jimmy: oh, he's fantastic. >> he's fantastic. >> jimmy: are we going to get to see older -- >> older kevin? >> jimmy: yeah. >> i hope so, because that's job security for me so -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's true. >> there's a lot of twists and turns. >> jimmy: i mean, they can't kill you off, yeah that's true. >> it's a lot of twists and turns, so if i see older kevin, i'm like -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> "boom!" [ laughter ] we're good for a while. >> jimmy: i want to show everyone a clip from the show. >> cool. >> jimmy: here's justin hartley in the past season of "this is us." take a look. >> blue 42, set, hut, hut! ball is hiked. pearson drops back. he looks left. ♪ he pump fakes. he rolls to his right. he tucks the ball, he

yeah, yeah. i forgot -- tax and stuff. yeah, yeah. nd now that we're in a position to give back, we have to, and we also want to challenge our friends so carmelo anthony, he got involved and chris paul got involved and they sent kids from their hometowns to the march as well. so, you know, all different kinds of kids around the country can be represented. >> jimmy: can we talk "breaking in"? >> yes. >> jimmy: i want to talk about this movie. i am so excited about this. and it's the perfect weekend to come out -- it's mother's day weekend. >> yes. and who is more kick butt than mothers? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, i know, exactly. i thought about it because i know it's out this weekend. "breaking in," i saw this poster, i had to show it. it says, "payback is a mother." [ light laughter ] set up "breaking in" for me. >> so a mom, you know, after a a long car ride with her kids, you know, we've all been there. she needed a drink, okay. so she went outside to have a a cocktail and cut to all hell breaks loose. the bad guys brea

>> jimmy: yeah, can i touch it? o do that for a long time. >> jimmy: yeah, long time. >> that's a great one. >> jimmy: how long does it take you to grow out a mustache? >> a couple years. >> jimmy: yeah. i've seen you in movies with mustaches though, haven't i? >> yeah, but it's always -- so far it's been fake. but if you watch the little drummer girl, i'm shooting right now. it'll be my first thing with the real mustache, so i'm expecting a big difference. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: a fake mustache compared to that. >> yeah, it'll just seem like a a more honest performance probably. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: is it tough acting with a mustache on? >> well, fake mustaches drive me crazy because, you know, they got to glue them on your face. and i'm kind of a sweaty guy, as i'm sure you know. [ light laughter ] and all this time was spent in close proximity. >> jimmy: sure. yeah, yeah, yeah. >> probably looking at me like, "he's sweating so much." [ light laughter ] but anyway, so it makes -- it weakens the glue and you

hold back sometimes i don't yeah yeah ♪ ♪ i feel good sometimes i don't yeah yeah ♪ ♪ i finessedhe break. stick around. ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] y paul. sprintern. what are you up to? showing you the unrivaled iphone x. ooh nice. yeah it is nice. and you know what i can do with it? no what? i can unlock it with my face! they call it face id. here let me show you. see? do you have to make that face when you unlock it? what face? uh... (vo) get the unrivaled iphone x now for just $20 a month. that's 50% off from sprint. for people with hearing loss switch to sprint to get the best price for unlimited. visit sprintrelay.com so, you'll be here to help if i need you? kyle, i got you. okay... what about here? yup. here? yup. is that for us? it sure is. gimme, gimme. what about here? here too, kyle. and here sir robert from state farm? if you invite me. he said yes! hazzza! let's battle. ahh! go with the one that's here to help life go right. state farm. neil lane designs jewelry for hollywood's biggest stars. and, with his vintage-inspired collection at kay jewelers he designs them

>> jimmy: i love that person! [ applause ] >> yeah, i love that person. 't believe it. [ cheers and applause ] yeah. >> jimmy: believe it. forever. in history. >> i know, forever. >> jimmy: "solo," this is the han solo story. you play a droid named -- >> l3-37. >> jimmy: l-3. also known as l3-37. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's you. >> yeah. [ audience oohs ] my body has never looked better. [ laughter ] honestly, i'm absolutely -- >> jimmy: but this is -- i go, "oh, that's cool." i go, "you just -- you did the voice." and you go, "no, i did more than that. i actually acted in it." and i go, "really? what are you talking about? because it's just a cgi robot." [ laughter ] but disney was cool enough to give us a scene -- a picture of you, in costume. this is for real. [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's awesome. [ cheers and applause ] >> isn't that amazing? >> jimmy: that's unbelievable. must be super easy to go to the bathroom, as well. [ light laughter ] >> oh, my god. no, do you know what? it was actually -- we actually got it down, because the -- i had to

"i got the calling." [ laughter ] >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: it's very -- i think she the calling came from your agent. [ laughter ] "big news ethan, you're a priest." >> yeah. yeah, yeah. >> seth: were your parents -- when -- you know obviously, you found your way to the arts at a young age, were they supportive of this idea of you trying to be to actor? >> well, you have to understand that my father is an actuary. >> seth: okay. >> he's a mathematician. he's -- like one of the few jobs in the world that really uses calculus. you know? [ light laughter ] so when i told him that i wanted to be an actor, he felt the need to layout the actuarial tables on that succeeding. [ laughter ] do you know -- like, let's do the math on how many guys in the screen actors guild make more than $17,000 a year. and making sure before i chose it, and i decided i was okay with that. >> seth: okay, that's good. >> the odds were not good, but i was all right with that. >> seth: and you got into it -- you got into it very young. >> yes. >> seth: and now, i mean, i've certainly have been awar

. >> but yeah, iy comes, sometimes part of my husband's family will come. and -- >> jimmy: is it a resort or -- >> it -- no, we rent this little like victorian house in this little town and that's part of what i like 'cause you have the beach and stuff, but it's also creepy 'cause it's kind of a haunted-y old victorian town, which we're all like the adam's family. we're all into that. we like take a ghost tour wherever we go. and i have had a ghost experience in this house. do you want to hear about it? >> jimmy: yeah. >> okay. >> jimmy: does it involve two e.t.s and a pottery wheel? [ laughter ] >> okay, so one time we're in this like nice old, old victorian house and this is like when i was pregnant years ago, which i was pregnant with my younger daughter. and alice was little, too -- like five at the time. and she was at a cot at the foot of our bed, 'cause we all pile the whole family in the house. >> jimmy: sure. >> and in the night she was like kicking the bed like this. so i got up to go tell h

>> yeah. imy friend's having a a party for me. i'm really excited. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i like to celebrate big events. >> jimmy: you do. >> yeah. >> jimmy: have you ever -- thrown yourself a party? >> you know what happened? when i was 25, my soulmate, graciela, she was like -- she and i planned my own surprise party. [ light laughter ] and it was so stressful. i was so excited until the night that i was out to dinner with my friends, and then they used their decoy story to me to get me back to the house. which i had worked out with graciela behind their backs. [ light laughter ] and my friend was, like, "i have to go number two. can we go by your house?" i'm like, "yeah, okay." which i never would have let anyone -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, of course. that's a problem. no, dude, use the gas station. >> we were at a restaurant. >> jimmy: yeah, you're at a a restaurant. go in the restaurant. >> oh, no, let's go to my house. >> jimmy: you're apartment, yeah, no. >> so we went and then i'm opening

that, i was like -- >> yeah. . i mean, that's -- >> i can't even believe that. >> jimmy: isn't that the coolest thing ever, man? >> it's the coolest. i'm just so happy that people love the art and, it just makes me want to just keep going. >> jimmy: now, you have a remix coming out. >> yes, i do have a -- a remix coming out. we shot it in colombia. i went to visit my dad and i was like, you know, let's do two things here. i'ma visit you, but let's shoot a music video, too. [ laughter ] you know what i'm saying? yeah. >> jimmy: got a little business in here. >> do you know what i'm saying? >> jimmy: yeah, we'll do family time. then, let's go shoot a a little -- >> let's try to -- you know what i'm saying? you got streets blocked off and stuff. let's -- let's use some of that. >> jimmy: yeah. >> um, so, so. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: why not, man? >> i shot a video with nicky jam. shout out to nicky jam. and we did a -- [ cheers and applause ] and -- an "icon" remix in -- in columbia, so i'm -- >> jimmy: when does that

i hear laurel, too. >> steve: do you really? >> jimmy: yeah. el. [ laughter ] yanny. >> jimmy: no. >> steve: laurel! >> jimmy: no, that's not at all. >> steve: that's like jerry lewis, right? >> jimmy: yeah, it's not jerry lewis. no, it's like -- can i just hear it one last time? >> laurel. [ audience debate ] >> jimmy: yeah, now you're confused, right? yeah, it's bizarre. anyways. i spent way too much time on that. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: guys, it's very important to stay on top of the news. but let's be honest, it can be pretty boring. which is why i came up with a a new technique where you can make up whatever headline you want just by looking at the photo. i'll show you what i mean. it's time for "news and improved." here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ news and improved ♪ >> jimmy: for example, check out this photo from "the new york times." the original headline was "cavaliers hit a roadblock." that headline can definitely be improved, because if you only looked at the photo, the headline could have been, "man, can't believe some p

. [ laughter ] >> and -- yeah. so, i>> seth: it seems like, as a sensei , that's a -- it seems like you have, at that point, self-selected out as a karate master. >> yeah. >> seth: she probably took a look at you and said, "no matter what, this probably isn't going to happen for zach." >> not gonna work. yeah. yeah. >> seth: what other things were you into as a kid? >> um -- what was i into? i was into all sorts of weird stuff. i -- i was like -- i was kind of an obnoxious little kid in that, i was, like -- i dressed -- first of all, i dressed like -- like a liberal arts professor when i was little. [ light laughter ] like, when i was eight, i would wear these, like, tweed jackets. like, i -- i basically dressed like diane keaton from "annie hall." [ laughter ] i would wear a fedora, which is unacceptable. [ laughter ] and i was walking down the street in new york one time, and a guy pulled up in a car at an interception, leaned over, rolled down his window and just went, "lose the hat." and then -- [ laughter ] -- drove

it's awesome. >> jimmy: yeah. i >> good time to be a yankee. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] giancarlo stanton, that's the dude, right. him and judge right now are the guys to look out for? >> i mean, these guys are not just stars in our game, they're transcending. and if you see them in person, they're like -- they're like twins. they're huge and they're strong and -- >> jimmy: they're giant. >> and when you see them, it reminds me why i'm retired and i can't play -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, that's not true at all. i heard that you don't -- you've never been to a baseball game in 25 years? >> and actually, sit in the stands? >> jimmy: yeah. >> never. not in 25 years. i think the last one might have been a marlins game when i was back in high school. >> jimmy: why, would you enjoy a game? >> if you take me, i think i'll go. i don't have tickets. i don't have tickets. >> jimmy: would you go to a a game with me? >> i would definitely go to a a game. [ light laughter ] however, the yankees have been winn

but when i met him, i was fully slimed. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> no one told me i was going toitely, it's better than slime, yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: congrats on everything that's going on with your career and everything. but also, congrats because you're going to college. >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's the bigger deal. not only are you going to college, you're going to harvard, yeah! [ cheers and applause ] what? wow. now what's going on with that? what are you going to study and how's that all going? >> well, i'm double concentrating. so the goal is social studies, which is their interdisciplinary -- it's sociology, anthropology, economics, and philosophy. and african-american studies. >> jimmy: wow. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: really. >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: are you -- were you always -- always interested in social studies? >> yeah, so i've always wanted to be a history professor, actually. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. when i was i think 10, i had like a birthday party and it was like dress up as the profession you want to be when you grow up. an

>> jimmy: i did see that somewhere. yeahomeone -- something from someone. this is what i learned from steve. that a urinal doesn't just have to be used for number one. [ laughter ] >> what have i done now? >> jimmy: what have i done? >> i thought i was your favorite. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: here you are, this weekend you're at the beacon theater. >> yes. >> jimmy: with you're stage show. >> the beacon theater, here in new york. >> jimmy: beautiful. yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> we're doing two shows. and they are sold out tight, except for maybe 2,000 seats. [ laughter ] >> i think it is sold out. and it's such a historic theater. it's an honor to go there, because there's so many great acts. i mean last year i saw seinfeld there. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and he was so funny, i left in disgust. [ laughter ] >> no, i mean, touring with steve is just -- well steve doesn't, at his age, doesn't so much tour as he wanders off. [ laughter ] but still -- and i don't think -- >> wandering. i don't know what you're talking about. >> jimm

yeah. all right. >> and i cry during sex. [ laughter ] so i'd be crying and alone. >> seth: yeah. >> and i r me. >> seth: but the thing is whatever you are doing, there is someone who that's the thing they most want to see. >> probably. >> seth: yeah -- >> probably. i mean -- >> seth: there's probably someone right now being like, i've been searching for crying alone -- i can't find anything. this is lady's my dream. >> i've got to get my vhs sex tape out because that's all it is. >> seth: oh, great. well i look forward to the release of that. >> thank you. >> seth: please come back to promote it. >> always. >> seth: thank you so much for being here. >> thank you. >> seth: ali wentworth, everybody. "go ask ali" is available now. we'll be back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ music playing ♪ je plonge à l'envers attiré par l'extase ♪ ♪ un tourbillon vert illumine les sirènes ♪ ♪ ♪ oh la fête fo', fo' ♪ ♪ ♪ oui l'endorphine s'est envolée ♪ ♪ ♪ d'une fête foraine devenue noire ♪ ♪ the kangaroo's pouch provides comfort and security for the little ones inside. possibly the ins

yeah, we met on an airplane. i. she's way cooler than me. she texted me, "hmu," which i now know means, "hit me up." right? i didn't know that. i thought she was just spelling out the sound it makes when you send a text message. [ laughter ] i literally thought she wrote, "hmu!" [ laughter ] so i replied "eahph!" [ laughter and applause ] she wrote, "no, hmu!" i wrote, "yes, eahph." [ laughter ] finally she called me. she goes, "what do you mean?" i was like, "what do you mean?" [ laughter ] she goes, "mine means hit me up. what does your mean?" and i go, "oh, my means e and then eamph!" [ laughter ] and i swear to you, the first time i kissed her, i leaned in and i go, "eamph." [ laughter ] and she goes, "hmuah!" [ laughter ] and i was like, "i'm going to marry her, you know?" [ laughter ] she's way kinkier than me because everybody is. [ laughter ] she goes, "what are you into? you know, like in the bedroom?" and i was like, "consent." [ laughter and applause ] all right, i'm pete lee, thanks, you've been a great

i met him here. and like yeahas already like photo leaks of them meeting or something like that. and i had talked to him and he was like -- you know, he did all this research and then he talked about it a lot. so i wanted to come in and do that too. so i came in with all this stuff that maybe lando's from this planet and he did this. maybe he's -- just all these maybes and questions that i kind of had and i just lay it all out there. it's funny because i don't even think he was looking at me when he said it. billy's like, "i don't know, just be charming, man." he's like just be charming. and i was like, oh, yeah. it taught me a valuable lesson. like don't overthink this. just be cool. just be charming. >> jimmy: there's nobody cooler than billy dee williams. >> yeah. he was so cool. >> jimmy: will he be at the premiere tonight? >> i hope so. i mean, yeah. he's got to be, right? >> jimmy: who are you taking to the premiere tonight? >> i mean, i've got a few people. i guess a few family members. but like there's sti

>> i think so, yeah. i didn't take an s.a.t. best education. >> jimmy: you continue need to go to college. sometimes people come in they've got acting careers going, yes, i was accepted to yale. and i go, what are you going there for? >> yeah. i don't know. i mean -- i bet i'm smart enough from that strip mall school. >> jimmy: yeah, right. you don't need yale, you went to a strip mall. >> yeah, that's right. it's all overrated, it's the same, the same. >> jimmy: what? i mean, really what kind of -- like where was your prom held? was it like in a dairy queen or something? [ laughter ] >> yes. >> jimmy: do you keep in touch with any of the kids from strip mall high school? >> sadly, i do not. i do not. >> jimmy: you do not. >> there were nice kids there, it was great. you know what? i think i learned stuff. >> jimmy: you seem to be pretty smart. this show of yours is super popular and not just here in the united states but all around the world, right? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: like where have you gone, and how -- do people recogni

and i said "yeah, i'll bring it home." y excited, and then my wife said, "if you don't bring little daddy home, i will fully divorce you." [ laughter ] so i brought little daddy home, and my son, it's the cutest thing, he is obsessed with it, and i don't get home in time to put him to bed. so every night my mom, i'm sorry, his mom. my wife gives him little daddy, and he hugs little daddy in his crib, and it's really -- it's the sweetest thing on earth. there is only one downside which is because my son has a little daddy, he calls me big daddy. [ laughter ] which is very cute at home, and very weird in public. because when you're walking in the park, and your son is calling you big daddy -- [ laughter ] no one is thinking oh, there must be a little version at home. [ laughter ] that's just a cautionary tale. you guys, i can't tell you how excited i am about tonight's show. this show used to be called "late night with david letterman" and i'm honored to say that is who our guest is tonight, david letterman is coming back hom

i was like clearly i'm not going to be in "wakanda 2." yeahtor of "black panther" to wakanda forever. [ light laughter ] >> seth: it would have been great if he had said to you, and if i'm having trouble, if you could just go "black-ish." >> he didn't say that. he was just like -- [ laughter ] [ applause ] foot in mouth. so embarrassing. >> seth: look, hearing that makes me nervous to even ask you about this, because now that i know that you are not that cool around famous people, you arguably got a chance to interview as famous they come. >> the most -- yeah. >> seth: you interviewed former first lady michelle obama. there you guys are. >> mrs. obama. >> seth: and -- [ cheers and applause ] >> strangely. >> seth: you guys looks. i mean, you look very confident there. [ cheers and applause ] >> okay. so, strangely, i was not nervous. this is such a gross thing to say, but we're friends. >> seth: no, that's not a gross thing to say. that's the best thing. >> no, it just -- it sounds so like shut up. anyway, we are friendly, and so i wasn't nerv

yeah. but i with this hand. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: of course trump, trump has been totally backtracked on his pledge to be neutral and moving the embassy is just the latest example. on the same day, israeli forces killed 60 palestinians, a horrifying display of violence that was widely condemned. and yet, trump's son-in-law and adviser jared kushner, celebrated the move. >> while presidents before him have backed down from their pledge to move the american embassy. once in office, this president delivered. because when president trump makes a promise, he keeps it. >> seth: well, yes and no. the thing is, he promises everything on every side of every issue. so he ends up keeping one of the promises just by accident. when you flip a coin, trump yells, "heads! tails!" [ light laughter ] trump said he would be neutral, then he said he would make a deal. then he said we'll move the embassy. trump only kept the last promise he made. trump's like a [ bleep ] magician. is this your card? how

so it's good i didn't meet him. yeahold and your husband michael writes for "snl" now. >> yep. yes. >> seth: and he'd -- your husband is a comedy writer for a long time. >> yeah. >> seth: shows like "conan," late night shows, but now, "snl" totally different thing. how is -- 'cause i can't imagine working on "snl" having a two-year-old now. >> oh my gosh. that's -- well first of all, prior to michael working there, most of my knowledge of "snl" came from the james franco documentary which i was like, "oh, they work really long hours." >> seth: yeah. >> i feel like they stay -- as you know, you stay up mostly all night tuesday night writing this thing. michael -- you're just sort of a zombie for those three weeks because your sleep schedule is so thrown off. >> seth: yes. >> and so when michael comes home, he's mostly asleep. that's what he's doing. especially in the morning, like, he -- don't get home till 3:00 in the morning so he's, like, asleep. so our two-year-old, almost two-year-old son james will say -- he doesn't

-yeah. -i clear steve has to make it to brenna that he doesn't want to be here. this is another example of how difficult change is for her. i want to have the books be updated. i want to have the inventory be properly stated on the balance sheet before that happens. if you could just help with that... -okay, yeah. -we'll go from there. -oh. all right. -we'll keep moving. -you guys understand? -yeah. -yeah. ♪ -creating one-of-a-kind pieces is one thing, but after you add women's jeans and other leather goods, we're going to need more help than this. could you guys handle 30,000 units? -yeah, we could. -so i'm taking eric and brenna to autograph, a local facility that specializes in high-volume cut and sew. -this is a no-brainer. i love it. -having our patterns precut will lower our production time, increasing efficiency and margins while keeping jobs in detroit. i'm also taking eric and brenna to the ford museum. in any efficiency process, the one thing that has to happen is what? -movement. -he

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yeah ♪ ♪ yeah yeah 'cause all i do is 'cause all i do is 'cause all i do is ♪ ♪ jump mmm yeah 'p jump jump jump ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >>> this is "nightline." >> tonight -- students under fire. >> i shouldn't be going through this at my school. i feel scared to even go back. >> nine students and one teacher killed in a deadly texas school shooting. >> as soon as i heard the shots i called my mom. i told her, mom, there are gunshots. i heard four shots. that was real. >> witnesses coming face-to-face with the gunman. >> he shot one of my other friends in the head and her body fell down not too far away from where i was under the table. >> now a 17-year-old suspect taken alive. what he told police. clues on his social media page. and fears of explosive devices found at the scene and at his home. >> "nightline" will be right back.

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>> seth: i was 20, yeah. >> crazy. so was i. >> seth: yeah -- i will say, i'm not lying.a very similar 1993 hair. >> i once did as well. yeah. i haven't seen it. i was going to go see it with my kids when it opened. and last minute they ended up going off on spring break with their mom. so i went down to puerto rico and surfed instead. >> seth: that seems like a perfectly nice thing to do. >> yeah. >> seth: have you ever gone to see a role you've played before? is it a weird thing to do? >> i have. i've never seen "angels in america" though. i did it a year and a half on broadway and i've never seen the show. i'm really, you know, like terribly looking forward to see it. it's probably -- in "westworld" we talk about cornerstones. for me in my career, "angels in america" is a cornerstone. it's that thing that kind of represents the center of your psyche. you know, it's one of the greatest pieces of writing that i've ever had the opportunity to work on, including shakespea. and it's incredibly relevant now in a way that's unexpected. you know, back when we did it, the aids

>> i did, yeah, yeah. so i talked a little bit about the intersection with various biases that, obviously, are huge in the medical system including racial bias, and especially sort of i think one of the big differences that a white woman like me and a black woman would be perceived. the black woman -- well, the woman of color, especially black women, really being impacted by this stereotype that they're drug seekers. i think, actually, a couple of different women in the book sort of eventually got to the point where they were reporting pain, and it was unexplained, and so they were accused of trying to seek painkillers. but for the, one of the women of color whose story is in the book, that sort of stereotype just was, like, front and center every time she went into the medical system to the point where she, like, couldn't even get past the e.r. gatekeepers because it was just sort of an automatic type of assumption. which i think seems to be a problem that's maybe even worse now that there's sort of a lot

yeah, i know she's sleeping but who knows what she's dreaming of. ah, i know, but the last time they were dreaming, they got to vote. get over here quick. ( applause ) she was sleeping because she was tired because starbucks wouldn't sell her coffee. ( laughter ) and you know, guys, sadly, this is not an isolated incident. just the other day, i, trevor noah, got the cops called on me for sleeping while i was driving. ( laughter ) this whole thing makes me crazy, man. only a week ago, yale pulled cosby's honorary degree. make up your mind, yale. are you for or against women sleeping? what do you want? ( audience reacts ) i take your oohs and put them in my jar. good news. >> the three americans held by north korea are back in the united states. >> just after 3:00 a.m. the three american prisoners released from north korea stepped out of that plane and into a made-for-tv moment produced by the president himself. one saying "it's like a dream." >> trevor: wow, what a happy ending. i can see why one of these guys said it's like a dream because one of the

i have seen it. it says like, "please unplug me, love jack." >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> i know. person, hopefully they can make a lot of change off of that. [ light laughter ] >> seth: yeah. it would be nice for them. and hopefully they use that money for good as well, you know? >> totally. done it, donate it, donate it, please. please. >> seth: yeah, exactly. one of the things i love about the show is based on the fact that i am a huge steelers fan. >> yeah. >> seth: this is a show about steelers -- this is a steelers family. >> this is a steelers family, 100%. >> seth: and has the -- and it sounds like the actual steelers family has been very good to you guys. they've embraced the idea. >> the rooneys are awesome. everyone in the organization has really embraced our embracing of them. and i got to admit, you know, before the show, i didn't know a whole lot about the steelers. i knew they were kind of one of the dynasty teams that have been around. they have this magical history, and i knew some awesome players, you know, past and present. and -- so i'm a new fan, but that doesn

(audience laughs) but look, here's what i wanna say. - yeah. - that was well before trump. cities were increasing, more and more progressives were being elected, more and more change agents, i think, again, mayor adler's done amazing things here in austin. it's a different type of mayor that emerged well before trump. now, i think you're right to say the election of trump then crystallized a movement locally-- - yep. - and among mayors, to force change. the most obvious example is when trump left the paris agreement, which could've been a devastating moment, had there not been a vivid response-- - yeah. - over 300 american mayors said "no, we're still in. we're going to abide by the paris agreement. we're going to create a response to global warming on our own, locally, in the absence of national leadership." and this is a paradigm shift, that i think is only beginning to be fully understood. think about it this way, and i'm-- you know, being in the great state of texas, and it's a long tradition of independence and independent thinking. - right. - if your federal government

i usually like to see more of your body. but yeaht. [ laughter ] how are you doing? >> jimmy: i'm doing well. >> good, great to see you, man. >> jimmy: great to see you, too. >> what a crowd here, huh? [ cheers and applause ] i used to be able to do that. >> jimmy: you're really not supposed to cut them off. >> you want to try it again? what a crowd. [ cheers and applause ] you know, jim -- >> are you comfortable in that? >> this is my new normal. my car, you know, a bulletproof, like, you know, car and it's plated, extra plated. it gets, like, a mile a gallon. north of 100,000 pounds. >> jimmy: that doesn't seem good for the environment at all. >> it's not great. >> jimmy: i mentioned that you are a former batman. i do want to give a little bit of backstory on this. >> let's not use the word former, but, yeah, i know what you're saying. i have played batman before and people, they might have liked it. i don't know. oh, please. i didn't do -- thank you. >> jimmy: the reason i mention this is because now there there can only be one ba

>> yeah, i really did.ter ] >> seth: no, it's really noble. >> it's so -- i mean, it was the thing that got me my equity card which is the actors union in theater. and i -- for me i always knew that this was the thing that i wanted to do, i wanted to tell stories. so, that first step felt -- i was so grateful for that first step, even though it was like six of us in a van, traveling across the country and like, i was doing people's laundry for like extra money. like it was not cute. but it got me here, so i'm really grateful for it. >> seth: yeah. well, and i'm sure everybody in today's crowd is grateful too. [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much for being here. >> thank you for having me. >> seth: i really appreciate it. great seeing you again. stephanie beatriz, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] "brooklyn nine-nine" airs sunday nights on fox. we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ this puppy had nothing on the new glad forceflex plus advanced protection kitchen bag. i