are in a negotiation and then say, oh, it was just a in a negotiation and then say, oh, it wasjust a joke joke. you should take it was just a joke. you should take it so seriously. this is really dumb. this is a dumb way to negotiate. no, no. i remind you howe donald tusk behaved towards theresa may... this coming from a donor. what do you think, rachel?” may... this coming from a donor. what do you think, rachel? i mean... you just can't cope, can you? we are having a political conversation. this is uncalled for. this is important for the conservatives. they are one of the biggest donors to the conservative party. i can understand where he is coming from because it is, you know, not everybody who voted to leave is a fundamentalist but ferries are wing of the conservative party. jacob rees—mogg leads that wing. —— there is. they are very fundamental about the way they want brexit to happen. i understand the sentiment and i do believe this wing is behaving like political jihadis. believe this wing is behaving like politicaljihadis. they are concerned about and no deal. ——a no deal. i think

not take a joke but tell a joke from something else. you may -- that's not a joke.>> dana: also, you have a very different job. if you have a public facing job where you are funny and that is your job. brett kavanaugh is actually very funny. he was not funny in the hearing. but that's not his job. his job is to be serious. >> jesse: i understand that. you have to separate the two instances, one is instance joking about the wire. maybe that was a joke in the heat of the moment. mccabe also claims in his memo and can you take whatever he says in the memo with a grain of salt that he did say he wanted to invoke the 25th amendment and that is not a joke and separate instances future gut you don't know that. >> jesse: i will write a memo after the segment and memorialize and say gutfeld -- [laughter] >> morgan: anti-trump filmmaker michael moore my favorite -- not really -- with a promise that will make many republicans happy. that and more in the fastest seven up next ♪ ♪ welcome to the place where people go to learn about their medicare options... before they're on med

. >> a joke taken too far? a florida mother is under fire this morning after a video of her dunking her toddler's head wt viral. the mom says they were just having fun, but police and state authorities aren't laughing. she's now facing an investigation. from our nbc affiliate in orlando, michelle meredith has the story. >> it was just a joke. >> reporter: caitlyn wolf said she had no idea this video sticking her son's head in the toilet would get the reaction it did. oh, but it did. threaten to do what to you? >> threatened to kill me, murtd me, shoot me, shove my head in the toilet, bury me halfway alive, cut my head off. >> reporter: it started last week when caitlyn says as a prank she gave her 3-year-old son what she calls a swirly, toilet flushing, head in the video lgs out. but caitlyn says he's not screaming, he's laughing. >> it was just a joke. and i mean, everybody is like, oh, his face didn't go in -- it's not a dirty toilet. it was clean, you know. he wasn't being tortured in any way. >> reporter: bu

quote, the woodward book is a joke. this is the president speaking. just another assault against me and a barrage of assaults using now disproven unnamed and anonymous sources, many have already come forward to say the quotes by them, like the book, are fiction.

plus the books president trump called a joke and a con. people here in this bookstore can't wait to get their hands on it but if you're trump's supporter it's quite a different story we find out what those trump supporters think obama would words tell all told. i'm married i haven't seen it's good to have you with us turkeys president. has warned that the entire world stands to pay the price of an assault on syria's is a live province joins the united nations and warning that a planned syrian russian offensive could lead to this century's worst humanitarian catastrophe tens of thousands of people have fled the province and those staying put are bracing for. for the worst presidents are making improvised gas masks and shelters amid fears that the assad regime could deploy chemical weapons. when many of the civilians fleeing the intensifying offensive in series in the province have been heading north towards the border with turkey correspondent daniel hessler visited a refugee camp there where he met a boy who was orphaned when a barrel bomb

dismissed the book as a joke and they called. her asked a gathering of trump supporters what they thought of the book and its author. the trump international hotel is an island of refuge for this meeting of truck supporters in the otherwise extremely democratic lucy of washington d.c. people here can bask in their mutual love of the president and ignore negative media like say a certain book by a certain legendary journalist as bob woodward's book hits the shelves it's already created waves among the president's detractors for trump supporters this is simply a more negative media coverage and other day of fake news for a president that they still very staunchly support it's a left wing attack getting ready for the elections to try to energize that side of the of the populous it's been so many books out but that's not going to step down from supporters we're very loyal to him because at the end of the day you know what we get if we don't get down on track we get left wing snowflake that says he's not your average politician he's tr

d.l., you tell a lot of jokes. what does it mean to you when someone can't take a joke?ee things happening right now in terms of civility. when you have a president lowering the norms of civility, when you call people a racist name and mass sognist names and zenaphobic names, you can't be shocked when people represent you. people are talking about sara huckabee and the red hen thing and how that was. i remember when people started carrying guns. the tone for this kind of discourse has happened a long time. it's disingenuous to act like you haven't contributed to it. >> you're talking about that word, become a flash point word, civility, discourse. >> right. >> these are things we hear them, sometimes it sounds like a thing people in power demand in a one way direction. is that what you think? >> totally, i don't understand what i means. i can say this. this president is racist, homophobic, zenaphobic, islamophobia. he's definitely lowered the blue book on the presidency. i don't think we will ever have a president in a tradition -- before you can have political idealogic

it splie it might have been a joke. it might have been a discussion they have in the back room where they throw out things how to move forward. something happened. i don't know what it was. it's interesting watching these republicans fight each other. under the leadership of this president they have created nothing but chaos in the administration. i suppose every day we'll wake up to a new story. because of the president of the united states, what we're seeing is literally him tearing up this government and creating the kind of confrontation among each other. i imagine this is not going to stop. i don't know what the truth is but i don't know that what has been reported about the chaos and the disarray in this administration certainly is unfolding. >> rod rosenstein has issued not one but two statements. i'll read the most recent. i never pursued or authorized recording the president in any suggestion that i ever ever advocated for the removal of the president is absolutely false. you're talking about the times we're in

it might sound like a joke, but it is actually quite worrying if you think that the far right has gotin italy, the third economy of the eurozone. and europe is getting very nervous about the collision course of the current italian far right government with brussels on financial rules. so it is getting very, very tense in europe. the idea of throwing a lifeline to theresa may might sound appealing, because it would avoid another hardliner in britain, which is not something anybody wants. that is interesting. do you sense a similar shift? i think theresa may's scenario points to the fact that there are no strong individual european governments, they are all facing their own crisis at home. in germany, angela merkel is facing the election in bavaria where her partner in crime, as it were, the csu head, fighting for his survival, and so forth. no longer very friendly to her. which leads to the opinion that brexit is not agenda issue number one in germany, they have domestic problems to solve. they are somewhat fatigued of hearing about brexit, nothing is solved until everything is solved

she makes with the police that she does their job for them it's really a joke how severely has swedish authority authorities failed young people of color in sweden foster i'll give that to you it was passed off as a joke but our community seems to be asking does the burden fall on these moms. the media. always put on the parents they say that they don't do anything at that they're all going to tell their kids that behaving but i do believe that you have to also look at the background and look at the big picture there is there is no denying that there are by the institutional racism and that is that a lot of opportunities to children. oh my god back not just now with that climate for election when there lock the bait we've got one of the we need it on the second option would come to the fat in the kids who in sweden they call them sweden ball migrant kids it makes you seem how do these kids in a feel when i when i go to the factory and sweet and when are we ever going to be seeing that part of the country of the community we're always with that always giving us leave and no matter what

we heard it might have been a joke. because it's a serious matter for someone under the president talking about him being unfit. rosenstein will have to go to congress and address whether or not he said those things and was serious about it. >> great but resigning or being fired wouldn't that solve that problem, would it somehow save him from answering those questions on capitol hill? >> not necessarily. but look this idea put forth by house republicans having the deputy attorney general come up to testify is a politically motivated side show. done the think it is any more than that. >> coming from capitol hill! >> shocked, i know we're all shocked to hear that. the irony is that apparently those house republicans are basing their outrage at rod rosenstein on andy mccabe's version of events. of course andy mccabe in the eyes of those same house republicans couldn't tell the truth if his life depended on it. so we're in really strange territory right now. >> also believing in anonymous sources in the new york times. that'

a joke isn't, hey, let's wear a wire. i'll wear a wire or someone else, one of you can, and then we will get someone to invoke the 25th amendment. maybe i can get sessions. how is that funny? there is no giggle in any of that. corey? i think lee is right. this is all about the declassification. trump backtracked for some reason. i think that was a big gift to rosenstein, because he is worried about that fisa application and the fact that skup pa torey information was not put in that fisa application to monitor carter page. >> you are exactly right. that was the third renewal of the application. there were four. the first was denied by the fisa court. rod rosenstein signed it. when the president made the announcement he was going to declassified bruce ohr's 302, it was going to release that nellie ohr, bruce's wife, was talking to christopher steel and that the justice department knew about it and that rod rosenstein was aware of what bruce ohr was doing. he was his supervisor. that would have come out very clearly. he was

you can tell the men who really respect to and believe you as a if not a superior. am i joking? u can feel it. that, i am you a slipping into my violence against women passion, but take a look, and i will bet you every one of those men had a strong, independent mother, for sister, for grandmother, or somebody raised. and i have been fortunate, i do not plan on saying this, but my mother had a backbone like a ramrod. my deceased wife was fierce. jill, you have seen how independent and committed she is. and i always kid, but it's true, every brother should have a sister like i do. a hell of a lot better looking and a lot smarter. we went to the same university together. we used to be three years apart , now we are 20 years apart. i don't know how the hell that happened. [laughter] mr. biden: she graduated with honors. i graduated. [laughter] mr. biden: so, there is an expression, an old chinese expression, that i think we are finally beginning to learn. i hope my colleagues in the senate learn it in the next couple days. that is, women hold up half the sky. women hold up half the s

i think the white house speech writers may bring a new joke. >> yes, yes. might. >> a comment taking aim at that un speech. here's a look at your late night laughs. >> president trump claimed that he has accomplished more than any other president in history and world leaders in the audience laughed. though, technically they were still laughing from when he said, hello, i'm the president of the united states. [ applause ] >> and they say donald trump can't bring people together. i mean, even they were like, all right, i know we're sworn enemies, but can we talk about that trump thing just for a second. >> i can't believe the only guy he praised was kim jong-un. putin is going to be jealous. >> after the speech trump said he meant to make them laugh. watching trump speak at the united nations is when your alcoholic uncle grabs the mike at your wedding. no good can come of it. >> those guys, i think it may be the first un speech of the late night comics that i have ever watched. the president is bringing people together. we have a lot of news, including breakin

plus the both presidential called a joke and a con. people here in this bookstore can't wait to get their hands on it but if you're a trump supporter it's quite a different story they find out what those trump supporters think obama woodward's tell all told us. omarion i haven't seen it's good to have you with us the russian military is conducting its biggest maneuvers since the end of the cold war hundreds of thousands of military person. now are taking part in drills in various parts of the country and on the pacific ocean and the joined by troops from china and mongolia the exercises will continue for a week russia's defense ministry says will involve some thirty six thousand vehicles one thousand planes and eighty warships nato says russia is preparing for what it calls a large scale conflict. well for more on this i'm joined by dr i just found loring hole phone he's a russian expert and head of the moscow office of the liberal friedrich nauman foundation thanks so much for joining us today so these war games are taking place at a

because they took him literally when he was just making a joke.s happening to rosenstein. >> jesse: which is it? >> greg: the point is, the point is, the bottom line is people who condemn anonymous sourcing of the "times" op-ed now embracing this anonymous sourcing are hypocrites. it was likely sarcastic remark because i'm a guy who makes sarcastic remarks. >> judge pirro: what context? we need the comment. what do you want me to do, tape him? >> greg: have you ever said that, "what do you want me to do --" and you say something you didn't mean and then have to buy flowers. if you are a sarcastic person side with the excuse it's a joke. i always is a joke. >> juan: i generally don't agree with this guy but i agree with this for a different reason. i don't think there is any evidence to say he did anything. >> judge pirro: oh! >> jesse: rosenstein! >> juan: brett kavanaugh is speaking out against sexual assault allegations in an exclusives fox news interview with martha maccallum. martha is here next with a preview. if you're waiting patiently for

not a joke. his family had been ravaged by cancer. this is a leader of one of the countries. the end of the administration, we had a summit on nuclear proliferation. the president had 50 heads of state in the west room. you know, the room where they have the ball? big giant rectangular tables put together outside of the president, me with my back to the magnificent formal hall. the president said, deadly earnest, he said, ladies and gentlemen, before we begin, i know you all want to talk to joe about cancer. the nuclearal with proliferation first. wasn't a joke. no one left. it is real. i ask myself, why? why is this happening? i think i have figured it out. feel inpeople know and their bones for the first time, there has been incredible progress made that we have reached an inflection point in this fight against cancer. some of you have heard me say before, it was only five years before my beau was diagnosed i therapy was not viewed as a voodoo science. really and truly. it was not part of the equation. so many disciplines are being brought in. from nobel laureates and chemi

i put the kids up on the floor for a joke for when my mom came in. sean: how old were you when you were sexually abused? >> well, now i have a whole different view of that. >>sean: you don't think you were sexually abused? >> i think i was emotionally abused. and -- >> you said your mother psychologically and your father sexual. >> everybody in my whole family is messed up. >>sean: do you think you -- serious question. because you've said in multiple interviews that you had multiple personalities. the question is do you think that any of this plays into -- i have some loss. let's just be honest. >> you shouldn't call someone crazy. they had one funny thing that tom arnold said. never call a crazy person crazy. but i have mental health issues. yeah. >>sean: how are you -- how bad have this gotten for you? >> as bad as it gets. >>sean: very emotionally, honestly about mental. it is all about controversy as we continue. your home and auto when you bundle with us. they have businesses to grow customers to care for lives to get home to they use stamps.com

plus the book president trump is calling a joke and because we had the reviews last week now the book by watergate reporter bob woodward goes on sale we'll find out what some trump supporters think of it. i'm brian thomas a very warm welcome to the show the russian military is conducting its biggest maneuvers since the end of the cold war hundreds of thousands of russian soldiers are taking part in the numerous across the country in eastern siberia they're being joined by troops from china and mongolia the drills will continue for a week russia's defense ministry says they will involve some thirty six thousand. vehicles one thousand planes even more ships nato says russia is preparing for a large scale conflict. so what's behind these maneuvers were the very latest let's cross over to moscow from deed of use yuri rachet ho yuri nato has contend these exercises as a prelude to conflict why is russia along with china fielding some three hundred thousand troops this week. well brian of course of the russian army is very large in terms of the number of soldiers and military technologists

>> the question is when is a joke not a joke? can the ag or deputy ag initiate an investigation by wearing a wire against the president. d.c. is a one-party consent jurisdiction. virtually anyone can record anyone else as long as one party consents to the recording. on the other hand, there is substantial support for the idea that the president cannot even be investigated let alone prosecuted or indicted while he's in office. one person who took that view historically was supreme court nominee brett kavanaugh. on the one hand there's an idea that you can't even investigate the president. but there's not a whole lot barring the doj from having the president investigated. and that would include wearing a wire or wiretapping if they can get a warrant and a title iii wiretap authorization. >> does this give more fuel to the president's claim about a justice department out to get him, a deep satate? >> the president has tweeted in the past that it's frustrating that he fired james comey on the recommendation of someone who is now inve

hundred people have died so far it follows a powerful earthquake and tsunami the most devastating to hit the region since two thousand and four the country's president joke a widow has paid a visit to the city of palo she's seen some of the worst destruction will be live in jakarta in a moment but first also jabari has the latest. the difficult task of looking for survivors this is what is left in the city of hollow after friday's magnitude seven point five earthquake and tsunami rescue workers frantically trying to find those who may still be alive. search efforts are being hampered by blocked roads and a collapsed bridge rescue teams dug by hand to free twenty four people trapped in the rubble of this hotel the owner told local media people could still be heard crying out for help but no heavy lifting equipment was available dozens remain missing in the city of over three hundred thousand those who did survive the quake and tsunami that followed now have to try to live off anything they can find scenes like this of people looting local shops and siphoning petrol from cars are becoming the norm as aid is very slowly coming in. many injured are being eva

the last one is a joke. that is a t farce. >> would you like to say more about it? >> no. [laughter] >> that's it. thank you mister chairman . . . . when they were teenagers. committee republicans brought in maricopa county arizona prosecutor rachel mitchell to question in the hearing. join the hearing out in its

i put the ketchup on, laid on the floor for a joke. r when my mom came in and she would think i was dead. >> sean: how old were you when you were sexually abused? >> well, now i have a whole different view of that. >> sean: you don't think you were sexually abused? >> i think i was emotionally abused. >> sean: you said your mother psychologically and your father sexually. >> everybody in my whole family is messed up. >> do you think you -- serious question. because you said in multiple interviews you had multiple personality disorder. >> yes. >> sean: do you think it plays into this -- you have had crazy moments. be honest. call it what it is. >> you shouldn't call a mental health patient crazy. >> sean: you have had -- >> that is one funny thing that tom arnold said. "never call a crazy person crazy." >> sean: that is an interesting -- >> i have mental health issues. yeah. >> sean: how are you -- >> i had. >> sean: how bad have they gotten for you with that? >> terrible. >> sean: how bad? tell people. >> as bad as it gets. >> sean: wer

if it was a joke, it wouldn't be memorialized, documented and s discussed the way it was.on this story. it wasn't just handed to them and they don't believe the denial it was scarcastic. the idea that anybody, even if they were beinging sarcastic sps to how dysfunctional this administration is. >> absolutely. brian, when you look right now, i was looking at the state that rosenstein was supposed to be in mentally at this time, you have bob woodward's book documenting how agitated he was, how upset, how off kilter he was when he said this because trump was using his memo as the reason for firing comey. plus, there is a documentary on front line coming out october 2nd that i screened and it dove tails perfectly how agitated rosenstein was and how troubled he was. that context triple checked with three of the best news sources or news platforms we have in this country. that says this is pretty good stuff. and it's just ridiculous. when you have judge jeanine up there. i look at her, that we even talk about a character like this. she should be in 1940s new york sitting next to

i got a joke. do you want to hear a school joke? a neutron walks into a bar. a neutron.rink?" the bartender says, "well, for you, no charge." [ laughter ] it's a neutron. [ chair dragging ] >> kevin: guys. guys. sorry, megan. >> jimmy: what's your problem? you don't know what a neutron is? no charge. nerds. [ bell ] ♪ [ cheering and applause ] >> kevin: watch out, guys. watch out, watch out, watch out, watch out, watch out, watch out. >> jimmy: watch out. >> hit the ropes, now. >> kevin: he was the one that held me up. >> everybody else, go. ropes, now. >> kevin: oh, my god. >> jimmy: i think i'm wearing your shorts. [ laughter ] >> unbelievable. [ floor scuffing ] [ laughter ] >> kevin: let's go. [ whistle ] you got it. yeah. and now we start. that's right. yeah! keep going! >> jimmy: i got it. i got it. >> kevin: where's your underwear at, man? your jimmy's out. [ laughter ] [ whistle ] >> dodgeball. >> jimmy: let's play dodgeball. >> kevin: but that's a a basketball. >> jimmy: i know it's a a basketball. [ laughter ] >> kevin: that was great, right? i brought you a wa

as a result, a lot of jokes come across my desk that due to my being a straight white male would be difficult me to deliver. but we don't think that should stop you from enjoying them, so we would like to share them with you now in a segment called "jokes seth can't tell." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: these are two of our writers, amber and jenny. >> and we're both women. >> seth: and i am not. so, he h i'll read the setups for these jokes and amber and jenny will read the punch lines. here we go! today was national be late for something day. >> yet another example of white people appropriating black culture. [ light laughter ] [ scattered applause ] a lesbian horror film recently premiered at the south by southwest festival. >> it's called home depot is closing in five minutes. [ light laughter ] >> hey, jenny, what's your favorite thing to get at home depot? >> a phone number. >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] 50 years ago charles schultz, the creator of the comic strip "peanuts" introduced his first black character, franklin. >> it was the least he could do after letting pigpen walk around

>> even as a joke. would consider using the 25th amendment inless the president was incapacitated, which suggested this is a made-up story. there's nothing wrong with the white house asking him to come up and clarify the situation given the volatility of what is going on right now. >> harris: so you think it's made up? fabricated? >> i think it's -- yes, a lot of what is going on right now. >> harris: you're shaking your head. >> no. people are leaking for a political and partisan purpose. >> harris: nasty. >> the danger for donald trump is that it would inflame the obstruction of justice idea, the mean that has taken hold. it's a political danger for him if not a legal one. >> harris: all right. power panel stays. we're excited about that. the white house firing back after another woman has come forward with allegations of sexual misconduct against judge brett kavanaugh. we'll come back on what it means for the confirmation process going forward. >> he's calling this a smear campaign. it's starting to

maybe this was a joke. hand, remember this was a time where this even degrees of incompetence with president trump and this was a time when he was extremely incompetent and weird, so he fires comey and then goes on tv and tells lester holt i fired him because of the russian investigation. >> right. >> he invites russians into the oval office, russian journalists, excludes american journalists, and then reveals confidential information. at the same time rosenstein is vexed because the president has had him make this memo about firing comey without telling him the real reason why. finally, when the "times" asked rosenstein, did this actually happen, did you say that we need to invoke the 25th amendment in order to get rid of president trump, rosenstein has this weird nondenial denial. he says, well, i just saw the president a couple days ago and he looked okay to me then. >> here's one of his dis putts, rod rosenstein, from "the new york times" is inaccurate and i will not further comment on a story based on a

rod rosenstein may have said about taping the president, but it was only ever intended as a joke, and intention was that it would never happen. there was no suggestion that it should be taken seriously. however, president trump has been speaking about it at that rally that you referenced that he's been taking part in in missouri, and he didn't mention rod rosenstein specifically but he did talk about the fbi and the department ofjustice. he said there were many good people there, but "there is the lingering stench," and "we're going to get rid of it too." as i say, he didn't mention rod rosenstein, but he did mention the department ofjustice and it gives you a sense there could be more divisions as a result of what's been alleged by the new york times. the european council president, donald tusk says he's still confident of reaching a compromise on brexit that works for everyone. it follows a defiant speech by the british prime minister theresa may who said europe needed to show the uk more respect in negotiations. our deputy political editor john pienaar has more. theresa may's in a

no, that is a joke. [ laughter ] but at what point are we that you believed that? laughter ] anyway, this is not the first time a member of team trump has been rejected by a restaurant. you probably remember sarah huckabee sanders was famously refused restaurant service in virginia. homeland security had kirsten nielsen and senior adviser stephen miller were leak ankled at a mexican restaurant. there's a new restaurant that offers a menu specifically catered to diners of the trumpian persuasion. >> looking for a restaurant with great food at great prices that won't refuse to serve you because you work for donald trump? make a run for the border for real to republican's, where the food is fresh and no one will hold you accountable. dig into one of our signature dishes like tiny orange chicken fingers. poutino. maga-roni and cheese. 96 choices of choice huck-a-beef. republican's. located off interstate 91 next to the abandoned radio shack. open till we lock her up! >> you know i'd love mexican. >> jimmy: wow, that looks delicious, actually. [ applause ] a restaurant o

not incapacitated is not a joke. this conversation on a national cable broadcast is disturbing in and of itself. did he not know this? to be fair to rod rosenstein like he hasn't been to us in many cases, people covering this spy gate debacle. he is denying. this but these memos, remember, ed, these were written, these memos, by senior officials at the fbi. mccabe and lisa page allegedly was in the room, who is a lawyer. so the denials are quite weak. listen, rod rosenstein at this point has got to go. he has to be fired. there is a rumor throughout this is some set up by the media. i don't care about any of that. pete: what happens if he gets fired? the palace intrigue is what everyone wants to talk about. you fire the guy in charge of the special counsel. is there a cascading effect the media will run with forever? anna: first he got rid of comey and where is this going to end that's what they will say. >> i get the point there is always going to be political ramifications. sometimes, pete, you have to do the right

joke at thet make a united nations. he is a joke. as talking to intelligent a full ofd he makes himself and he makes a fool of this country. , and iad and it is sick am hoping soon he will be out of office, one way or the other. host: aside from the laughter, did you take away anything else from the speech? caller: i did not listen, pedro. i heard the laugh line and a little bit about -- i cannot take him for more than a few minutes at a time. host: from pearl river, new york , this is jim, talking about judge kavanaugh. caller: on the issue of brett kavanaugh and this woman, rachel mitchell, who is coming from arizona, her approach is that of a prosecutor, and i believe the questioning by a legislative is anin this case accusation. i think everybody has to be status i do not believe is appropriate, which is the silent cross examination, where a witness gives testimony and the defense attorney refuses to question area and i do not believe it is extremely effective -- it is extremely effective, but i do believe it would be appropriate

>> i don't know. >> ba-na-na. >> can you tell us a joke?ock, knock. >> who's there in. >> banana who. >> banana who? >> banana in the toilet. >> i like it. >> let me tell you one joke. do you know what the guy who invented knock, knock, he won the nobel, get it, because there's no bell on the floor. >> why did the cookie go to the doctor in. >> why. >> because he felt crummy. >> why didn't the $5 bill go to the prom? >> why not? >> because it was hanging out with the singles. [ laughter ] >> what did the coat say to the jacket? >> what? >> you sweater believe it. >> did you make that up yourself? >> yes. >> what did the cat say when it had to stay indoors? don't let me-out. me-out. >> knock, knock. >> who is there? >> i can tell it. >> cow. >> interrupting cow. >> who? >> moo! >> you did that wrong. let me do that. >> knock, knock. >> who's there? >> interrupting cow. >> interrupting cow who. >> moo! >> we'll call it a tie. thank you, kids. tonight on the show ace frehley is sitting in with the cletones, bastille and hasan minhaj is here, a

the swept ying thing is a joke. it's a farce. >> would you like to say more about it? >> no. >> okay. >> okay. >> that's it, thank you, mr. chairman. >> miss mitchell. >> dr. ford has described you as being intoxicated at a party. did you consume alcohol during your high school years? >> yes, we drank beer. my friends and i, the boys and girls, yes, we drank beer. i liked beer. i still like beer. we drank beer. the drinking age as i noted was 18 so the seniors were legal, senior year in high school people were legal to drink, and, yeah, we drank beer and i said sometimes -- sometimes probably had too many beers and sometimes other people had team beers. we drink beer. we liked beer. >> what do you consider to be too many beers? >> i don't know. you know, we -- whatever the chart says, blood-alcohol chart. >> when you talked to fox news the other night you said that there were times in high school when people might have had too many piebeers on occasion. does that include you? >> sure. >> okay. have you ever passed out from drinking? >> passed out would be -- no, but i'

that's not a joke. that's us losing all of our allies, our main enemy.ot this new pressure on iran is going to work. we're going to ramp up the pressure, be tough, we're going to say lots of tough things. maybe the iranians will fold and do everything we say. or maybe our european partners will fold and do everything we say. if not, there are huge consequences to that. i think it's a light moment. we can say, oh, isn't that funny that everyone thinks that our president is a joke. but underneath that, some very serious, very dangerous issues that he's dealing with. >> when they weren't laughing, they may have gobeen googling things like global governance and doctrine of patriotism. you said there were echoes of the 1930s. why and how significant that was? >> i wasn't the only one to get that takeaway. it's ironic that you have echoes of the 1930s because the u.n. grew out of the chaos that came as a product of the nationalism that was abundant in the 1930s. if you listened to the speech of rouhani, he talked about some leaders using xenophobia that tends

>> i'm not going to make a joke about south carolina because my in-laws live in south carolina. to college in the carolinas so i mean, we're not going to one joke and answer it with another joke. i know you don't like optics but politics is perception, and the fact is, what we all know is republicans have a credibility gap with women. and so that was abundantly illustrated there. beyond that -- >> i'll go beyond that. this man is a troglodyte, kate, and he does represent a lot of people that americans believe are representative of the republican party and that's why republicans have such a credibility gap and a huge gender gap with women. in fact, in the last poll you saw that trump himself and, you know, clearly trump is not innocent in this, trump himself has a 65% disapproval rating with women. going into the midterm elections, when you have, you know, a slew of elections that are going to be a referendum on the president and he already has baggage, you're going into this issue next week with republicans, they're going to have to be very careful and tread very lightly on what

some of you have heard me say this before, it is not a joke. to free done straight women and men than you have gays and lesbians. so that you do not misunderstand me, think about this one example. a lot of you are successful businessmen and women. if you were at a fancy restaurant in washington, 5-6 years ago, at an important business meeting. and a gay or lesbian waiter came , spoke with a list, or demonstrated that they were gay or lesbian. and somebody at that luncheon table made fun of that person. nobody would have said anything. not a joke. i want you to think about this. today, if that same thing happened, the other four or five people would say you horses tail, get out of here. [applause] survive, believe in yourselves. believe in how much more you can do. the recent mike's son feels so strongly about this and i do, he died of cancer, a terrible disease. we have a foundation to try to and cancer, as you know. this is a disease, a plight on america. this disease of homophobia. and we can and it, and we can save my grandkids about my grea

and the anonymous op-ed in "the new york times" that is enraging the president, who called the book a jokejust another assault against me. a parade of top officials have come forward to say it wasn't them, with the vice president taking the extraordinary step of volunteering to submit to a lie detector test. >> i would agree to take it in the heartbeat. >> do you know if the president believes the denials coming in from top advisors or does he believe it is someone from within, and does he believe that lie detector tests should be issued as the vice president volunteered to do on sunday? >> no lie detectors are being used or talked about or looked at as a possibility. frankly, the white house and the staff here are focused on doing our jobs. >> reporter: on the eve of the book's official release, woodward defended his findings. >> there's a war on truth by him, and he says, oh, these are unnamed sources, but these are not unnamed incidents. specific people on specific dates -- >> reporter: as for the top officials who denied specific critiques of the president, from chief of staff john kel

first, is it a bombshell report or a joke that bombed? wo official in the justice department suggesting he wa wear a wire to tape the president of the united states. the president is reportedly asking, should he fire rod rosenstein? >> there's a lingering stench, and we're going to get rid of that too. >> breaking overnight, extension granted, senate republicans giving brett kavanagh's accuser more time to decide if she swants swant -- wants to testify as the president talks about it at the rally. >> he was born for the u.s. supreme court. >> at the present time septem r >> september 22nd. someone else is taking brett kavanagh's side. >> roy moore is defending brett kavanagh. he said what they're doing to brett kavanagh makes him very mad. he's also very mad he wasn't invited to that party with the teenagers. >> bill richardson is with us, former governor of new mexico, along with tiffany cross, managing editor of the beat, d.c., msnbc legal analyst daniel golden, and jermichael singleton, a republican political consultant. i want to start

me say you have heard this before but i will say that again and it is not a joke. you guys have done more to free straight women and men than you have days and lesbians. and i am not kidding. so you don't misunderstand me. think about this one example. a lot of you are very successful as this men and women. if you were at a fancy restaurant in washington five or six years ago, and an important -- at an important business meeting and a gay or lesbian waiter came up or transgender and spoke with a list or demonstrated they were gay or lesbian and someone at that luncheon table made fun of that person, no one would have said anything. not a joke. i want you to literally think about this. today, if the same thing happened, the other four or five people at the table would say -- you horse's tail, get out of here. really. believe in yourself. believe in how much more you can do. the reason my son felt so strongly about this as jill and i do, he died of cancer. a terrible disease. and we have a foundation that is trying to end cancer as you know. this is a disease on the p

democracy's a joke, the rule of law's a joke, we might as well stay on our couches. tactic, the way you convey this, is that you get into the minds of your adversaries, whether they're european or they're american. you fine the exid the existing lines, whether those are social or racial, and you play on them and you try to convince people that the only things going on in the world are the momentary psychological enmities. there's no point thinking of the real world, about facts, of how to make things better. so in that way policy toward ukraine, that is, a traditional invasion combined with cyber information war against the european union and the u.s., or the campaign to support brexit or the campaign to support the far right inside the european union or for that matter the cyber war against the united states in 2016 which led to the election of donald trump, these are all pieces of a larger picture. the picture is one where russian reality, an oligarchical regime where citizens aren't supposed to really believe in anything except their own nation, that this model ca

and it was a joke according to the government's lawsuit meant to amuse musk's girlfriend the four hundred twenty dollars price and apparent reference to marijuana culture which to mask was seen smoking marijuana on a live you tube stream earlier this month i mean it's legal right ok. i'm going to text messages for for an address and saying what the hell are you doing so i can read the display didn't break california law but did send tesla stocks tumbling now for the august tweet musk and tesla will each pay twenty million dollars to investors who suffered harm musk will also step down as chairman of the board for at least the next three years neither celebrity status nor reputation as a technological innovator provide an exemption from the federal securities laws one must denies he ever intended to swindle investors will remain tesla c.e.o. but under the oversight of new independent directors the f.c.c. is requiring tesla add to the board the settlement is still subject to court approval but is a dramatic marker in musk's recent decline once admired as a maverick and brilliant thinker mus