show" which is currently "the daily social distancing show" on comedy central, please welcome our trevor noahit's nice to see you. >> what's happening, stephen colbert? >> stephen: oh, just going doing a show like you. >> just attempting to do a show is what we're doing. that's what this is. >> stephen: that's right. >> in many ways i felt bad about the situation we're in until i saw nascar drivers losing their minds because driving virtually wasn't what they were used to in real life. and then i was like, oh, yeah, okay, maybe i'm not the only one losing my mind trying to do what i do in this environment. >> stephen: it is, one of the craziest things is you're going through this very odd isolated experience and because of that, you're not actually aware all the time that every person is going through the same isolated experience. i mean, you know it intellectually. >> yes. >> stephen: but just because of the nature of it, you don't get to see it happening to other people most of the time. >> right, right. and i think what's weird is, because social media has always been a faux social experie

i'm trevor noah. today is tuesday, the 15th of september, and here's your quarantine tip of the day -- as your kids go back to school, please make sure that they're teachers are covering the subjects that they need to know now more than ever -- reading, writing and, most importantly, punching people for paper towels. you can't get paper towels right now! anyway, on tonight's show, scientists have found a backup planet. michael che and roy wood, jr. get back into sports, and donald trump has solved climate change. so let's do this, people, welcome to "the daily social distancing show. >> from trevor noah's couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show. with trevor noah. >> trevor: let's kick things off with outer space. it's the reason people who aren't perverts have telescopes. for years, scientists have been asking if there is life on mars, but it turns out they may have been looking in the wrong place. >> astronomers have uncovered possible ne

i'm trevor noah. today is thursday, the 24th of september, and we are now just 40 days from election day. so, for anyone who's still undecided about who to vote for... (super slow and confused) ...hhoooowwww??? what are you waiting for? anyway, on tonight's show, donald trump is scaring the shit out of everyone, nobody is getting charged for killing breonna taylor, and the app that's offering everyone an exciting new way to get canceled. so let's do this, people! welcome to "the daily social distancing show." >> from trevor noah's couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show "daily social distancing show" with trevor noah. >> trevor: let's kick things off by talking about all the news that we won't be talking about today, which i know sounds really weird, but thanks to donald junta trump, we don't have time to cover some of the more fun stories. for instance "the washington post" is reporting that the prime minister of israel benjamin netanyahu

i'm trevor noah. today is monday, the 14th of september, which means we are now just 50 days away from election day, which means you've got just enough time to build your bunker for when the post-election civil war begins. yay! make sure to include toilet paper. someone bought abe's hair, dulce sloan digs into black hair, and the government out of your hair. an all-hair episodes. let's do it, people, welcome to "the daily social distancing show. >> from trevor's couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show with trevor noah! >> trevor: let's kick things off on the west coast. you know, the part of america that keeps nevada from getting wet. extreme wildfires have been devastating the region for over a week now, and as if the natural disaster isn't bad enough, it's being made worse by some serious human stupidity. >> raging wildfires in california, oregon and washington state are burning out of control at this hour. at least 35 people have died.

york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show with trevor noah! >> trevor: let's kick things off in california. the only state where botox is considered an essential service. this year's wildfire season has been one of the worst in history with dozens of fires burning a record 2 million acres. and now we're finding out that one of this weekend's biggest blazes started in one of the dumbest ways possible. >> crews continue battling dozens of raging wildfires in california. >> officials say one of the fires, the el dorado in san bernardino county started after pyrotechnics were used in a gender reveal party. scorched thousands of acres. only # 7% contained as of late last night. no word of any charges related to the fire. >> trevor: i've said it before and i'll say it again, these gender reveals have gone too far! 10,000 acres have burned and it's not even the first time this kind of thing has happened. ty -- at this point a gender reveal party is one of the most dangerous terrorist organizations. but, guys, this has to stop. right? or at least if

this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. >> trevor: let's kick things off with theeather report. spoiler alert, you might want to lock yourself inside again. >> as if 2020 wasn't enough we now have zombie tropical storms. this is video from when hurricane paulette hit bermuda earlier this month. it was downgraded to a post tropical low pressure system but paulette has regained strength and became a tropical storm again on monday. it is now about 300 miles off the coast of the a gloars island-- azores ises island. >> trevor: zombie storms, man, the weather has treully figured out how to mess with us now. storms used to hit us and then be gone. but now its it's like all right, i'm done, i'm done. whoa, i'm back, got you bitch. feels like mother nature realizes america isn't take coronavirus seriously so keeps coming up with new ideas to keep people in their homes, wildfires, storms that don't die. pretty soon when we open the front door there will just be a tree that kicks us back in the house. get your ass back in there. >> at the same time though, we acknowledge tha

i'm trevor noah. today is monday, the 21st of september, and i'm here in new york city, which, as you may have heard, bill barr's justice department has now declared an "anarchist jurisdiction." which means this place is in chaos! that's why i'm wearing sandals with socks. no rules, baby! anyway, on tonight's show, we'll look at the inspiring life of ruth bader ginsburg, as well as the somewhat less-inspiring madness that has broken out in the wake of her death, and then we'll talk to dr. fauci himself to find out just how screwed america really is. so let's do this, people! welcome to "the daily social distancing show." >> from trevor's couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. >> trevor: right now, the only news america is talking about is the passing of ruth bader ginsburg. aka the notorious r.b.g. as i'm sure you know, the iconic supreme court justice died over the weekend at the age of 87. a little bit later on in the

york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. ♪ ♪ >> trevor: let's kick things off with donald trump, the first president who's a nonessential worker. yesterday a tape dropped of an interview he did with bob woodward in february where he admitted he purposefully downplayed the risk of coronavirus. we know why, it's because he didn't want to spook his precious stock market. whoa, whoa, easy, girl. easy, gil. it's okay, nasdaq, everything's fine. you just keep going out, girl. now when normal people get caught on tape admitting they lied to an entire country, they usually apologize, but donald trump didn't become president by being normal, so yesterday he doubled down. >> did you mislead the public by saying that you downplayed the coronavirus and that you repeatedly did that in order to reduce panic? did you mislead the public? >> well, i think if you said in order to reduce panic, perhaps that's. so the fact is i'm a cheerleader for this country, i love our country and i don't want people to be frightened, i don't want to create

i'm trevor noah. today is thursday, the 17th of september, and here's your quarantine tip of the day -- if you're planning on finally seeing your older relatives for the first time in months, remember not to eat any of the hard candies they give you. and this is not a covid thing, those things are just gross. anyway, on tonight's show, donald trump divorces half the country. bill barr says slavery is back, and the coronavirus is getting its own award show. so let's do this, people. welcome to "the daily social distancing show. >> from trevor's couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. ♪ ♪ >> trevor: let's kick things off in barbados, the place with a rich beautiful history you probably won't see because it's outside the sandals resort. although the caribbean island obtained about in 1956, the queen of england is still officially head of state but that's abto change. >> queen elizabeth is to be removed as head of state in ba

i'm trevor noah. today is wednesday, the 16th of september, and here's your quarantine tip of the day: september is apple picking season, but if you're worried a about how to go out and pick apples and be safe, just do what black people do-- don't go! anyway, on tonight's show, lewis black helps you move to the suburbs, and donald trump attacks the real president. so let's do this, people! welcome to "the daily social distancing show." >> announcer: from trevor's couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show," with trevor noah." >> trevor: let's kick things off with breonna taylor. it's been six months now since the 26-year-old emt was killed in her own apartment by louisville police, and after months of protests in the streets, online, and at major sporting events, the city of louisville has finally responded. >> a major development in the killing of breonna taylor. attorneys for taylor's family say they have reached a settlement with the city

i'm trevor noah. today is tuesday, the 22nd of september, which means it's officially the first day of autumn, so here's your quarantine tip of the day -- bobbing for apples is obviously not safe this year. so if you want to watch children nearly drown just to eat a piece fruit, you'll have to wait until next year, ya freakin' weirdo! anyway, on tonight's show, democrats plot their supreme revenge, desi lydic zooms with her uncle lou dobbs, and we chat to patrisse cullors the co-founder of black lives matters. so let's do this, people! welcome to "the daily social distancing show." ♪ ♪ >> from trevor's couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show with trevor noah! ♪ ♪ ♪ >> trevor: let's kick things off with the supreme court. the world's most exclusive retirement moment in. the meet aftermath of ruth bader ginsburg's death, mitch mcconnell, senate majority leader and failed attempt at baking bread, has announced that he would allow president tr

on, everybody, welcome to the daily social distancing show, i'm trevor noah. today is wednesday, the 9th of september. and here's your quarantine tip of the day. if you are getting breakouts on the bottom of your face because of your mask, here is what you need to do. particular a second mask and put it on the top half of your face. now at least your breakouts will have sim tree. on tonight's show halloween is cancelled, the sky is angry and once again donald trump has been caught on tape telling us who he really is. so let's do this, people. welcome to the daily social distancing show. >> from trefer's couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. >> trevor: let's begin with the end. we want to take you now to a live shot of the bay wear in san francisco. stop what you are doing and look at your screen t doesn't look real, have wildfires burning on all sides other than the ocean and it create this smokey orange haze that looks like dusk or a mf year on mars or something. one localing fo

york city to your house somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. >> trevor: today we're going to talk at voting. it's how america chooses which person it will be mad at for the next four years. even though election day is weeks away, the election has started in many states thanks to mail-in voting. there is one individual who is extremely unhappy about that. >> mail-in voting is going to be the greatest fraud in the history of elections. there's no way you can go through a mail-in vote without massive cheating. the blat ballots are lost, frau, theft, all over the place. china, north korea, iran, these countries can grab those ballots or print forgeries. people get the ballots and hand them to people down the strait. they're mail-in ballots and they send them to anybody. two or three were sent to dogs, one sent to a cat. >> trevor: holy shit, guys, trump is freaking out. people are cheating, cats and dogs getting ballots. if i'm perfectly honest, i don't mind dogs voting but cats, you can't trust them for shit! those assholes will vote for jill ste

york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show with trevor noah♪ ♪ >> trevor: let's kick things off with the supreme court. the world's most exclusive retirement moment in. the meet aftermath of ruth bader ginsburg's death, mitch mcconnell, senate majority leader and failed attempt at baking bread, has announced that he would allow president trump to nominate her replacement, even though he had blocked barack obama from appointing merrick garland during an election year, but democrats still held a shred of hopet that they could persuade four moderate g.o.p. senators to show some integrity and stick to their principles, and that hope lasted almost a full day and a half. >> senate majority leader mitch mcconnell secured zero votes to move ahead with the appointment of the supreme court. >> mitt romney said -- >> trevor: yes, my friends, even mitt romney, the dad you ask when your other republican dads say no is going along with mitch mcconnell's plan. and i know, some people were holding out hope that he would refuse to help the republicans push thr

i'm trevor noah. today is monday, the 28th of september, and, guys, i can't believe it myself, but today marks five years to the day of my very first "daily show." so, to everyone out there who's been watching and supporting this show over the past five years, i just wanna truly thank you guys because this has been one of the wildest rides of my life. i mean, i still remember how, when i started, people were telling me that i sucked and that i was a horrible host and that i shouldn't even be in a tv studio, and, well, now those people got their wish. anyway, on tonight's show -- we meet the next supreme court justice, roy wood jr. looks at the effort to help felons get the right to vote, and the world finally finds out why donald trump has been hiding his taxes. so let's do this, people! welcome to "the daily social distancing show." >> trevor: let's kick things off with the supreme court. the people who have more control over your life than jeff bezos. ruth bader ginsburg was the cornerstone of the c

i'm trevor noah. it is thursday august 20th, and here's your quarantine tip of the day -- if you want to go hang out with friends outside because it's safer, but now it's also too hot, then here's an easy fix -- just stuff a frozen turkey in your shirt. yeah, it will keep you cool and people will think you're pregnant and offer you their seat. that's what i did. i was, like, here you go, ma'am. and then there was a dude with a turkey. we're friends now. yesterday was day three of the democratic national convention, filled with heavy hitters, elizabeth warren, hillary clinton, kamala harris, and that dude that married michelle obama. what was that guy's name again? let's do this, let's catch up on the highlights. welcome to "the daily distancing show." >> from trevor's couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, "the daily distancing show" presents the democratic national convention, electing america's first black president's friend. >> trevor: night three of the democratic national co

the virus expert appeared on "the daily show" with trevor noah to discuss how information is shared inand reiterated a message that public health should not be a political matter. >> one of the things that i think gets in a way is that we are in such a divisive state in society that it tends to get politicized. it's almost one side or the other. wearing a mask or not is a political statement and that's really very unfortunate. totally unfortunate because this is purely a public health issue. it should not be one against the other. >> and fears of a second wave of the coronavirus and diminishing hopes for another u.s. stimulus bill are weighing on stocks. the dow closed nearly 2% lower on monday. its worst day in about two weeks. both the dow and the s&p 500 are close to falling into a correction which is a 10% drop from their peaks. and the dow futures are pointing to a lower open in the hours ahead as well. john defterios is in abu dhabi. he joins us now live. good to see you, john. not great news. talk to us about what's spooking investors and what could calm their nerves, somewhat.

everybody welcome to the daily social distancing shoi, i'm trevor noah it is wednesday, august 26thment and here is your quarantine tip of the day, if you are going back to college but you don't want to get corona, just become a philosophy major. that way no one will want to be around you. any which on tonight's episode we cover day two of the rnc. jrd an klepper investigates another way america's elections are screwed. and then we take a look at the chaos in kenosha. so let's do this, people, welcome to the daily social distancing show. >> from trevor's couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, the daily social distancing show presents, the republican national convention, celebrating february's economy. >> yesterday was night two of the republican national convention. the biggest week for trump campaign staffers who aren't currently in prison. the night got off to a rocky start when one speaker was pulled at the last minute for tweeting out a anti-semitic q-anon conspiracy theory. and i for one am really glad. but i don't know about you but when i sit down to watch t

i'm trevor noah. today is friday, august 21, and here's your quarantine tip of the day: if you're still afraid to get a hair united states cut all you should do is tell people you're growing your hair out as a form of protest. you look woke, and no one has to know you're a little bitch. anyway, tonight, we're going to cover all the highlights from the final night of the democratic national convention, including the a biden speech that was so strong, fox news almost forgot to do their nightly benghazi segment. then i'm going to be chatting to tracee ellis ross about her show "black-ish." so let's do this, people! welcome to "the daily social distancing show." >> announcer: from trevor's couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show "presents, the democratic national convention. electing america's first black president's friend." >> trevor: the final night of the democratic national convention gave air time to rising democratic politicians who had

>> reporter: trevor noah zeroing in on a growing anger for many in the black community, the interactionslice compared with white people. inequity on full display on the violence in kenosha, wisconsin. a white 17-year-old shoots and kills two peo fle.he seend ist owi a >> mom! mom! >> reporter: just days earlier, jacob blake shot seven times in the back unarmed. officers found a knife in the vehicle after the shooting. >> it hurts to breathe, it hurts to sleep, it hurts to move from side to side, it hurts to eat. please, i'm telling you. change our lives out there. we can stick together. >> there's no point during this process in which you are able to just sort of be afforded the opportunity to be given the benefit of the doubt in any of these situations. and that not getting the benefit of the doubt can cost you your life. >> reporter: dr. morgan is a professor at santa clara university who shared with abc 7 her story of being racially profiled by campus security. her i.d. was enough to deescalate the situation, but in so many police killings of black and brown men and women, evidence, h

anthony fauci anticipated this last night, because he did an interview with trevor noah, we played itet's play it again, where he makes clear, this is just bad. liste listen. >> what hae have in this countr close to 200,000 deaths. we have 6 million plus infectious infections. you can't look at that and say, that's terrific. >> abby? >> there's no other way to look at this other than as a national tragedy. and the president is having a rally as if it's not happening. and telling his supporters that they don't have to worry about it. and i think it's really -- a pr flailing to convince the american public that he has this situation under control. and until he starts viewing this from the realm of reality, that's going to continue to be the case. there's no question that 200,000 people did not have to tie over the last, you know, five or six months. and the idea that president trump would grade himself with an a plus, you know, we don't have to wonder how this is going to play. it is obviously. this has been the most traumatic thing to impact most americans' lives in a very, very long t

>> i love trevor noah.ing at the right time snchlkt>>> new revelations that president trump new early on how dangerous the coronavirus was and intentionally misled the public. in a new book, bob woodward says president trump told him in early february that he knew how deadly this virus was. the book is published by simon & schuster. and audio of the interview was obtained by "the washington post." >> it goes throug air. that's always tougher than the touch. you know, the touch you don't have to touch things but the air, you just breathe the air, that's how it's passed. it's also more deadly than your even your strenuous flus. this is more deadly. this is five per -- this is 5% versus 1% and less than 1%. you know? so this is deadly stuff. >> despite the comments the president continued to down play the virus publicly after that, holding indoor rallies and insisting it would disappear. >> when you have 15 people and the 15 within a couple of days is going to be down to close to zero. >> we have done an inkre

. >> of course, that was trevor noah from "the daily show." ron klain, the whole -- you can just hear a little bit of tony fauci's capac peration that the things that keep us safe. the things that achieve donald trump's goal of throwing the light switches on and going back to some semblance of normal are the very measures that he campaigns against -- wearing masks, staying aparkts doing things outdoors. how would biden turn that around if he had the opportunity, the mentality. >> first, the reason joe biden is so focused on this is not because of his advisers. it's because he goes around the country and talks to people. unlike donald trump, he has a human reaction to that. he talks to people every day who didn't get to say good-bye to a grandparent before they died alone in a nursing home or hospital. people who have lost fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters. that's who he is. there's no way joe biden will conduct this campaign with anything other than that being front and center. as to how you start to pull this country back together, it's iro

think it's a really good question the statement earlier this year by joe biden i think it was on trevor noah'sy, the armed personnel would escort trump from the white house i understand the sentiment but i think it was a little bit rash to suppose people in uniform, military uniform would sort of break more than a two-century tradition there and intervene in civilian politics. so we have to look to people around trump to -- for reason to prevail in the republican party, if it's very clear that the alternative to conceding in what has been a free and fair defeat, which i think is the scenario you're asking about, the alternative to conceding is a constitutional breakdown and so, we have to hope that somebody like jared kushner, you know, or people in the private sector, steve schwartzman, have the courage and also the wisdom to see in a situation like that that scorched earth is going to burn everything down for everybody, including the trump organization but i can't readily think of who these wise birds would be. which is why i sort of desperately fumbled for jared kushner. that's how sort of